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retrievablememories · 1 year ago

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cherry bomb | jungkook (m)

pairing: jungkook x fem reader

summary: “get fucked or die” becomes the motto to live by when a serial killer begins targeting virgins on your campus.

genre: smut, horror/slasher, college!au

word count: 7.1k

warnings: multiple minor character deaths, blood, gore, violence (including gun and knife use), mentions of alcohol consumption. virgin-shaming and slut-shaming, oral (fem receiving), riding, virgin!reader, first-time sex, protected sex, hair-pulling, biting, fingering, dirty talk, virgin kink/corruption kink, fuckboy JK. is JK a sub or a masochist here? answer: i don’t fucking know!

a/n: inspired by the movie cherry falls (2000). heed the warnings. remember that this is fiction, not meant to be entirely realistic, and characters' views/actions don't represent my own. if this kind of content is not up your alley just block me or make use of the wonderful filtering option in your account settings

sources for the fic dividers: one | two

link to part 2

CHERRY BOMB

don't wanna die? come out and hook up with a sexy girl or guy.

virgins get in free!

THIS FRIDAY

NOV 3, 20XX

[address here]

"very corny." you shake your head, looking at the party flyer in your hands. you'd just torn it down from the bulletin board in your dorm lobby; unauthorized advertisements aren’t allowed, and your job as RA involves these menial-ass tasks. "this is literally life or death...why are they turning it into a joke?"

"it is a joke," your friend camille says, snatching the flyer out of your hands to look it over. "think about it. 10 students get killed since we came back in august, and the semester isn't even over yet. the school administration and local police haven't done nearly enough to address it or stop any more deaths. and the common denominator is that all these people were suspected or confirmed virgins?” you haven’t seen the evidence yourself, but the daughter of one of the local policemen claimed every victim also had virgin carved into some part of their dead body. “yeah, i'd say it's a joke to pretty much everyone at this point. this is what happens when you let the students come up with a solution."

camille hands the flyer back to you, and you hold it limply. "but...it's not like you can look at someone and tell if they're a virgin. the killer must've known them all personally. it just doesn't make sense."

"some of those people had no mutual friends. nothing connecting them whatsoever. not even shared extracurriculars. it's gotta be a perverted stalker with a fetish, maybe. a scorned hacker who somehow got into their private conversations 'n' shit? or maybe he consulted the cards to know who’d fucked before and who hadn’t.”

“oh please.” you scoff. “now you’re being completely ridiculous. tarot cards aren’t gonna tell you if someone’s a virgin or not.”

“then you come up with a better explanation. either way, these folks—" camille points to the flyer "—aren't taking their chances."

"hm..." you keep staring at the flyer, looking at the shiny-red cherries, condoms, sex toys, and other sex-related objects decorating the paper. whoever designed this really wasn't playing.

"so, are you gonna go?" camille asks with a sidelong glance. "free admittance, after all."

your neck burns under the collar of your shirt. "are you?" neither of you have had sex yet, for differing reasons. camille's reason was almost complete indifference to the whole act.

she gives you a look that says i could give a shit. "...you know the answer to that one, dear. so you're not even thinking about it? as much as you have cried to me and lorelai about not being able to find a man you like enough to give it up for, our killer here probably already knows. you practically have a ‘come kill me’ bullseye on your back.”

"i don't know," you say, because you genuinely are thinking about it. “and stop trying to fucking scare me.” despite your logical brain trying to reason with you, you still feel a sense of underlying terror about being the next victim. "the virgin killer," as they'd nicknamed the freak, clearly prefers a specific type of victim, and all kills have been random and unpredictable other than that—and the fact that every victim attended your university. he also seems partial to using a knife on his victims, but even that isn’t guaranteed—3 of the 10 had been killed in ways other than stabbing. "i don’t know why you’re so nonchalant about this, though."

camille shrugs. "if he comes for me, i'll just spray him with my illegal mace and kick his nuts into his throat. then tie him up and wait for my dad to come blow his head off. there are some advantages to having a gun nut for a dad."

you chuckle at the absurdity of it. "you've got it all planned out, then."

FRIDAY, NOV 3

taking a rideshare to the party was a smart idea on lorelai's part, because the two little shots you took to pre-game already have you feeling woozy. or maybe it's just your nerves.

the cherry bomb is located at a mansion that isn’t really a mansion, but a large once-abandoned house one of the fraternities fixed up years ago for throwing off-campus parties.

the party is stacked wall to wall with people when you enter, though from what you can see, no one has actually started fucking yet—maybe they're saving that for the supposed orgy later in the night. you just hope you can get someone in one of the backrooms before that happens, because you're not really keen on having everyone in your class knowing what your tits look like.

you have one simple mission here tonight—lose your long-held virginity and get off the virgin killer's radar. once that's done, you'll make your exit.

"actually, i'm surprised anyone else showed up. other than you, who wants to willingly admit that they're still a virgin in college?" lorelai shudders. you roll your eyes and try not to feel offended, sucking your teeth.

"you were more than welcome to stay back at the dorm."

"no! i'm here for moral support, plus i don't want to be alone tonight. i don't care who this killer targets, it's getting too crazy out here to just be letting your guard down anymore."

well, you won't argue that.

you and lorelai dance to the song booming over the multiple speakers, scanning the room for potential hookups all the while. you become more alert when you recognize a familiar length of black hair coming through the front door, plus the tattoos and piercings to match.

you're not surprised jungkook came. he has his pick of untouched and easily corruptible virgins here, which has always been his thing; you've heard him brag about it to his seatmates more than once in your shared elective. not to mention the stories you've heard from the women who actually fucked him. as far as you could figure, it was the usual male ego posturing bullshit about being able to say he was someone’s first—and likely best. for that reason, alarm rises when he makes eye contact and starts making a beeline for where you and lorelai are.

"oh, here comes the campus bicycle," lorelai says, voice deadpan.

you continue watching him from the corner of your eye, trying to see if he's just approaching someone in your general vicinity, but no. once he shoves his way through the crowd of dancers, some unashamedly groping at his body as he does, he stops right in front of you two.

"so, are you here for the same reason i am?" he asks you, grinning like the devil himself. "or are you looking to get that sweet little cherry popped?"

the backs of your knees sweat. "um��latter, i guess." you hadn't meant to answer that honestly, but to say you are caught off-guard is understating it. you can count on one hand the number of times you and jungkook have talked to each other in class, and never about anything of this nature.

"you're not gonna ask me?" lorelai says.

jungkook gives a hearty laugh; you didn't think it was that funny. "everyone knows you're not a virgin, why waste my time?"

"wow, okay. fuck you. you're no saint yourself." she huffs.

"anyway…" jungkook returns his attention to you. "have you really never done anything before? not even sucked a dick? there's no way someone hasn't tried to hit that. not even some 'backdoor action only' like those weird religious girls?"

"is that any of your business? i didn't know we had to give a rundown of our lack of sexual experience before getting laid around here." you snap.

jungkook's eyelids lower a fraction. "i'm tryna decide how easy i should go on you, babe. i mean, if you wanna take this in one of the rooms. otherwise, i'll let someone else have a go if you're not interested."

unfortunately, you are interested, despite his overly blunt manner and objectifying language. even though you know you’ll just become another entry on his long list of flings—someone he’ll tell his boys about later—maybe the fear of death is making you impulsive.

but maybe his looks are playing a part in it, too.

he's imposing with his physique and his all-black attire, his shirt so tight that you can clearly see his pectoral muscles and his nipples, his unbuttoned leather jacket doing nothing to hide those details. you can easily imagine yourself running your hands across those pecs, squeezing them, rubbing your fingers against his nipples and making him moan underneath you, feeling and seeing his abs contract through this stupid-ass shirt that must've been painted on. this brief fantasy immediately dampens your panties.

"…i'm interested," you affirm, dragging your gaze back up to his eyes, and he smirks from knowing you were obviously checking him out.

knowing the direction this is going in, lorelai taps you on the back and whispers in your ear. “have fun but don’t do anything stupid, yeah? i’m not playing auntie to any offspring you and this dude pop out, sis. use protection.” then she makes her exit to go find herself a partner for the night.

“so, come on.” jungkook nods his head in the direction of the stairs, and you follow him through the crowd as he leads you up the winding staircase. you squeeze past two girls kissing on the staircase railing, their motions a bit unsure as if they’ve never done it before but clearly still enjoying themselves.

jungkook pushes a few doors in until he finds an empty room, and you try not to ogle at the random couples you see along the way. not even an hour in and the two shots must be wearing off, because your body is beginning to buzz with nervousness again.

jungkook closes the door behind him when you both step into the room, which is lit by one lamp on a nightstand and the open window beside the bed. he reaches for you, and you shiver when his hand grasps the side of your face, the other snaking around your waist.

“scared?” he asks, his voice low. you shake your head, and he grins. “relax.” he leans in as if to kiss you and you part your lips, but he doesn’t do that just yet. he traces your top lip and then your bottom lip with his tongue, dipping it into your mouth as he switches. the teasing nature of his actions makes your body heat up as you watch a string of saliva spread and then break between the both of you.

he presses back in for a real kiss this time, his nose bumping yours. despite all your fears about tonight, you’re able to unwind somewhat and just focus on the full sensory experience that is this kiss—the warmth of his hands and his mouth, the sappy sound your lips make when they separate and come back together, the scent of his cologne, the taste of his spearmint-flavored tongue.

you find yourselves inching toward the bed, him walking you backwards while keeping you steady. just as the backs of your knees hit the edge of the bed, there's the sound of a woman's bloodcurdling scream from behind you, and you nearly shove jungkook to the ground in your haste to run to the door. your fingers are scrabbling at the doorknob when you hear a burst of laughter. a guy you don't recognize crawls out from under the bed holding his phone up, displaying a youtube video of the shower scene in the movie psycho, which is where the noise is coming from.

"that was funny as fuck." the guy laughs obnoxiously loud, holding his stomach. “don’t get too carefree or you just might die, girlie.”

jungkook grabs the guy by his jacket collar like he's a kid and throws him out the door; the guy doesn't object because he knows this is preferable to getting his ass beaten by the bigger man. "fuck outta here, you jackass." jungkook snaps.

jungkook stomps over to the closet to yank it open. "any more idiots in here wanna show themselves?" he checks a couple more areas before deciding the room is clear and closing the door again, locking it for good measure.

“okay.” he sighs, stripping off his jacket and shoes. he takes your hand and pulls you toward him as he sits on the bed. “relax, baby. forget about that fucking clown. come ‘ere. why don’t you sit on my lap?”

with a heavy exhale, you try to steady your still-shaking hands as you shuck your boots off and pull your dress up slightly to comfortably sit in his lap, your legs loosely wrapped around his waist.

he squeezes your waist. “so, where were we? i don’t really remember…”

you huff out a half-amused laugh. “really? i’m pretty sure it was this…” you lean forward with your hands on his shoulders and press your lips back onto his. jungkook follows in kind, his hands running up from your thighs to your waist and back again. the rhythm of his hands is hypnotic, distracting you as you try to keep most of your focus on the kiss, and you fear you may be getting overstimulated before anything has truly began.

as you continue kissing, jungkook’s hands creep your dress further up your thighs until your panties are revealed. still feeling up your legs, his hands press further toward your inner thighs, and you gasp into the kiss when his thumb pushes against the seat of your underwear. they have been damp for a while now and you know he knows this, so you aren’t surprised when he breaks the kiss to smirk, though it makes you roll your eyes.

jungkook whispers against your lips, “let’s try something. will you sit on my face?” you stare at him without a word, not expecting this to be the first thing he proposes. at your response, or lack of, he adds, “i want to make you feel good. do you want me to taste you?” his voice is so soft, so unassuming and cloying, that it makes you feel like a lamb clutched gently in the mouth of a wolf.

your brain is already surrendering to it. “yes.”

you get another kiss and a smile. jungkook moves you out of his lap, shuffles further up the bed, and lies down so that he’s flat on his back, his head surrounded by the pillows. he gestures for you to follow.

taking your time, you slide your panties off and crawl up the bed until you’re near his face and he’s lying below you looking like he’s struck gold. he grabs your hips to bring you closer until you’re right over his mouth. you’re embarrassed to have someone looking at you from this angle for the first time, and you’re about to get too into your head about it when he french kisses your inner thigh, blanking out your mind.

the only thing you know from then on is that his mouth is burning hot. his tongue is everywhere. he licks at you delicately to test the waters, and then more firmly when your thighs tremble around his head, in an effort to elicit the same response.

the way he fits his mouth over your entire pussy and sucks it with just the right amount of pressure so that it won’t hurt makes you feel faint. the way he slides the flat of his tongue over your clit only to suck it gently at the end of the stroke makes you cry out louder than you intended. you’re glad he moved further up the bed for this, because you’re holding onto the headboard for dear life.

the only things you’re aware of are your own out-of-control moans and the wet sounds of jungkook’s mouth working you over. all of it has you so overwrought that you’re already reaching your peak, your grip on the headboard weakening.

jungkook seems to know this without you telling him anything. he pauses and looks up at you with a fucked-out smirk and a wet mouth. you don’t know whether to thank him or curse him for giving you a break. “before you come, fuck my face.”

“wh-what?”

“rub that wet fucking cunt on my face.” heat flares through your body at his frank words. “grab my hair and just ride my face.” he reaches up to take your hands off the headboard and places them in his hair. “you can do it, baby. fucking use me.”

it takes you a minute to get over the fresh wave of embarrassment and find a pace that works, because the connection between your brain and body feels like it’s frying and your coordination is off. jungkook helps guide your hips, especially with how you’re trembling from pleasure and close to falling apart. soon enough, you’re letting go of yourself and moving your hips enthusiastically, if a little clumsily, and chasing your climax. you savor the feel of your clit sliding across his wet tongue and his soft hair in between your fingers, and you push his head as close as it can get.

you come while screaming, dizzyingly immersed in the pleasure. you forget that you’re holding his hair as you yank roughly on it. the only thing that matters to you is that jungkook’s mouth is still sucking your clit through the best physical sensation you’ve ever experienced.

when he finally lets go and gives you reprieve, you collapse beside him on the pillows.

“i’m sorry,” you mumble, disoriented. “about your hair, i mean?”

jungkook laughs. it’s funny how shiny-wet his face is—and that you caused it, which is kind of hard to believe in the aftermath of it. “the pain is what gets my dick hard. don’t worry.”

you chuckle breathlessly at that, and for a few seconds you both have that funny little moment to yourselves in all the ridiculousness of the overarching situation.

then jungkook’s hand is reaching for you again. “i’m not done with that pussy yet, though.” he brushes a finger over your hole, and your body twitches from the sensitivity. he slides that finger through the wetness and then uses the lubrication to push only the tip of his finger in. he dips it in and out, teasing the nerves at your entrance, until you’re shifting your hips closer to him to implore him for more. he grants your request by sliding his finger all the way inside.

having a finger inside you feels okay at first, though not as good as his actions a few seconds ago. jungkook decides to amplify your pleasure by placing his lips on your neck, leaving gentle and wet kisses behind, and you become all too aware of the feeling of your hardened nipples against the material of your dress. the pleasure begins to heighten when his finger finds a place inside of you that makes you throb, your walls clenching around him.

“ah…” you gasp and shift eagerly against his body as he keeps stimulating that spot, not thrusting his finger into you but simply stroking it across that area in a come here motion.

jungkook pulls away from your neck to smile at his handiwork. “that’s better, right?” he whispers, watching your reactions. your lips form around the word yes, though it’s difficult to try to speak, and you worry how unsteady your voice might sound. he waits until you’re clutching at his arm, leaving red lines on his skin from your fingernails, to carefully push another finger in beside the first. you try to breathe evenly, though his refusal to let up on that spot has your lungs stuttering for air all over again. his nose nudges your ear as he leans even closer and whispers, “there are so many different spots to find, so many different ways to make you come; i wanna go looking for them all.”

jungkook angles his hand so that his palm is also stimulating your clit, his fingers thrusting slowly now. you turn your head away from him as your body becomes ablaze, unsure what to do with yourself as your climax nears quickly.

“would you let me do that? learn your body like no one else has done?” he kisses the shell of your ear, and even that small action is enough to tip you closer to the edge with how your body is already so fired up. “who else could make you feel as good?”

this orgasm makes your eyes fill with involuntary tears, and little clear droplets bleed down the sides of your face and towards your ears as your body convulses. jungkook kisses the wet trails they make on your face, still fingering you steadily and forcing another urgent cry out of you. you feel untethered from yourself, like you’re not in control of your reactions, and you don’t know whether to be afraid of that or not.

jungkook pulls his fingers out when you have mostly calmed down, watching strands of your wetness drip between them before sliding them into his mouth.

after you come the second time, you begin to tire. the deeds have been done, and if you want, you can confidently go back out to the party now and say you’re no longer a virgin; you’re off the unofficial kill list and can live the rest of your days without having to look over your shoulder with every breath.

…but jungkook is hard against your hip, and in all honesty, you don’t want to leave without knowing what his dick looks and feels like.

“you tired?” he asks, and the casual air of it makes your stomach flip, for some reason. he says it as if this is something you two do all the time and he’s used to asking you this after wearing you out during a good session.

but now’s not the time to get delusional.

“no. i want more.”

jungkook smiles broadly, teasing his lip ring with his teeth. he sits up to peel that skin-tight shirt off, and you don’t bother to stop yourself from staring at all that skin in front of you. your eyes drop further down when he removes his belt and undoes his jeans, pushing his pants and underwear down enough for you to see his v-line but not taking them off. is that an invitation for you to do it? "you hold the reins here," he says, lying back on the bed again. "do whatever you want to me."

“whatever i want?” you repeat, already sitting up. he nods, hands behind his head, and you take the initiative to straddle him again, knowing you’re getting his jeans wet.

you reach for his pecs first, just like you’d imagined downstairs. the firm muscle of them is mesmerizing; but when you slowly circle your thumb against his nipple and his eyes flutter, a small and breathy moan escaping his lips, you’re sure you enjoy this much more.

you play with his nipples and even work up the boldness to purse your lips around one, sucking it softly, and every noise that arises from him makes your clit tingle.

you eventually move your hands to his abs, enjoying how they flex at your touch. you didn't think his navel would be pierced, not hearing that detail in any of the sex tales you've eavesdropped on about jungkook, and you wonder what else you might find out about him tonight.

“you should do your nipples to match.” you suggest it without much thought as you’re teasing his navel piercing, though you don’t regret saying it.

“would you be into that?” jungkook sounds like he’s actually considering it, watching you from below his lashes.

you grin. you don’t know if you’ll actually end up having sex with him again to see them, but you answer, “i’d love it…it’d be sexy on you.”

sliding your hands further down still, you come to the waistband of his underwear, which is peeking over the top of his lowered jeans. for a second the nervousness returns; jungkook notices how your hands twitch with hesitation. “it’s fine, i’m not gonna bite you…unless you ask me to, though. here.”

he slips a hand into his underwear and grips his dick, though he doesn’t take it out right away; he strokes the shaft a few times, observing your reaction with expectant and hazy eyes. the scene before you makes your mouth dry. jungkook quickens his pace, twisting his hand at the tip and using his own precum as lube, until you are overcome with the desire to see it and you pull his underwear out of the way.

his cock is thick and flushed and glossy with precum. you don’t have much to compare it to, but it’s a good size, and all the previous women have said that he clearly knows what to do with it. he releases it and it slaps against his abs, leaving a streak of precum behind. when you look at him in anticipation of what he’ll do next, he grasps it again and starts stroking himself quickly, like he’s trying to get off. the wet slap of his motions and his quiet groans make your walls clench.

“i could keep fucking myself and you could watch, since you seem to prefer it…” he murmurs.

“no, i—let’s go all the way.”

jungkook smirks and answers your decision by pulling a condom out of his jean pocket. you watch as he unwraps it and slips it down his cock. though you’re already straddling him, he grasps your wrist and encourages you to draw nearer to him. “come here, pretty thing.”

when you’re hovering directly over him, jungkook grips the base and teases his tip against your entrance. “ready?” he asks.

“yeah,” you say breathlessly.

it’s a little slow-going, but you eventually end up with him seated inside you. it’s uncomfortable to be taking something bigger than a couple fingers, but it isn’t terribly painful.

“now, try moving your hips like this…” with his hands on your hips, jungkook helps you grind against him so that your clit slides across his pubic bone with every move. the discomfort begins to ebb out of your mind after a little while of doing this, and you laugh quietly.

“i thought…i thought this doesn’t feel good for men,” you sigh, your eyes closing from the bliss of his firm abdomen stimulating your clit. “this grinding thing, you know. or so a friend told me…”

jungkook laughs too, but he doesn’t confirm it like you expect him to. his only answer is, “a sexy woman on my dick will always feel good.”

he seems to be more about showing than telling, anyway. his hands reach for your breasts, groping them over the fabric of your dress before sliding underneath for better access. sporadic moans escape you as he plays with your nipples, making your clit throb harder and sending more warmth pooling in your abdomen.

your breath wheezes out of you when jungkook starts pushing up into you, his hands still squeezing your breasts. “you’re okay, baby…” he tries a few different angles until he pulls a visceral reaction out of you, your walls fluttering around him and your body shivering intensely. “mmm, there it is.”

your motions start tapering off as jungkook continues thrusting up against that same spot that had you in tears earlier. noticing this, he slips one hand back down to your hip and encourages you to maintain your pace, keeping your clit stimulated while meeting his thrusts. “you’re doing good…” he murmurs. “go ahead, keep fucking me just like that.”

you’re glad lorelai makes you go to the campus gym with her every week, because otherwise you’d be about to collapse riding him for this long. it takes more of your strength and stamina than you’d expected. no wonder jungkook stays in the gym.

“oh, fuck…” the way all his muscles flex as he repeatedly pushes up into you makes you wetter; you no longer have the wherewithal to be embarrassed about the gushy noises your pussy is creating. your whole world has whittled down to this one room, and all you can think about is your next orgasm.

“pull my hair again,” he requests, his eyes dark and lost in lust when he looks up at you.

"jungkook..." you grip his sweaty hair in your hand and pull it to bare his throat, and he gives a desperate moan, his member jerking inside you. you've never felt so in control of a situation before in your life. it gives you a straight adrenaline-slash-dopamine rush.

his neck is just there and exposed, flushed from exertion, and his physical responses make you feel so primal, like you could do absolutely anything to him right now and he’d enjoy it. because of this, you decide to bite his neck, if only to give your mouth something to do. his dick twitches again when you do, another pretty moan leaving his mouth.

his voice is strained when he says, “bite me harder.” when you let go, your mouth travels the expanse of his neck to leave marks in a few other places, digging in harder just as he asked of you.

“fuck, y/n—” the pain of your teeth is pushing him close to the edge too soon, so he slips his other hand out from under your dress and brings it lower to circle his fingers over your clit. jungkook adding his experienced fingers to his constant stimulation of your g-spot is enough to cause your release. your body slumps onto his as you squeeze around him, your head falling into the juncture of his neck and shoulder and your eyes shutting so tightly that you see wobbling shapes in the darkness.

jungkook gives you a few more thrusts rougher than the rest, causing you to cry out. your climax and the aftershocks have your mind so dizzy that you only just realize that he’s reaching his own peak, his muscles tensing and relaxing as he fills the condom with his cum. you hear him groan next to your ear, the sound of it filthy and uninhibited.

jungkook lifts your head from his shoulder, his thumbs on your cheeks, and his lips meet yours in a final slow kiss, his teeth leaving their mark on your bottom lip as a parting reminder.

you're still trying to get your bearings and slide him out of you when jungkook suddenly says, "what is that noise?"

"huh?" you remain immobile for a moment so you can listen more clearly, and you recognize the sounds of screaming and feet pounding on the floors in a bid to run away—both upstairs and downstairs. these don't sound like the same screams of pleasure from earlier. "what the hell?"

you and jungkook scramble to collect your clothes and get dressed, thankful that neither of you stripped down completely, and he throws the used condom into a random corner of the room. you're still making last minute adjustments when jungkook stands up and unlocks the door.

"the fuck is—?" his voice cuts off as if he can't finish his thought.

"what? what is it?" you stand up to get a better view around his body in the doorway, and you scream when you see a lone blonde girl lying a few feet away from the door, slumped against the opposite wall with a slashed throat. her pink party dress bleeds red, and her face that catches the illumination of the string lights glints with tear tracks. you look away from her unseeing eyes before you can cry out again.

jungkook seems confused, peering down the other end of the hallway like there'll be someone there to explain. "it...didn't work?" he asks to no one in particular, as you have no answer. you walk farther back into the room as if putting more distance between you and the body will provide some protection. bumping against the window sill, you turn around to look out the window and see several cars peeling out of the makeshift grass parking lot, nearly running over other people or hitting other cars on the way. you release a stifled scream from behind your hands when someone is too disoriented to get out of the way of the speeding cars and is sent flying through the air before landing painfully, their body now unmoving. the offending car never stops to check on them.

the screaming downstairs worsens, countless voices rising to a fever pitch of shouting and wailing, and you imagine this must be what the pits of hell sound like. jungkook whips around to look at you. “we gotta get the fuck out of here.”

you two inch out of the room with him in the lead, peering into jarred-open doorways to see if anybody could be waiting in the shadows. there are a couple of other bodies in two other rooms, and you wonder—even with the loud music constantly reverberating through the house, did you really not hear the struggles that led to these deaths in your throes of passion? the thought unnerves you. the idea that maybe you were only saved by jungkook deciding to lock the door…

the stair railing you’d walked by an hour ago is now broken in the middle, splinters of wood lying scattered on the stairs, along with more bodies lying on the steps just as haphazardly. the scene looks like the remnants of a stampede; you hope most of these people are just unconscious and not dead.

the dancefloor is a swarm of people in various states of undress pushing and pulling each other as they rush for the exit. there’s not as many people heading for the back door, everyone attempting to squeeze through the main entrance in their unthinking panic, so jungkook grabs your arm and the two of you pick your way through the bodies to get down the stairs as best you can. when you enter the mass of people, you’re exceptionally glad for his strength because it’s easier to get through the opposing crowd.

to reach the back door, you must first get through the kitchen. beside the kitchen entrance in a dark corner, you see someone doubled over and grasping the person in front of them for stability.

you realize belatedly that they have a knife in their stomach; the other person standing over them is the virgin killer himself, calmly watching them suffer.

the killer’s face is hidden by the mask he always wears, which you are seeing for the first time now, up-close—a hairy werewolf head with lemon-yellow eyes and a candy-red tongue. it’s so unexpected that you would’ve found it comedic if not for the context.

a guy in a blue sweater grasps the killer from behind in an attempted surprise attack, causing him to jerk the knife out of the other person’s stomach. the sudden movement causes a spray of blood to come flying off the knife, and you have to hold back vomit when drops of the warm, stinking crimson hit your face. though it feels like time has slowed to a mere creep, all of this happens within seconds.

you don’t see much more before jungkook is forcing you to move again.

you, jungkook, and multiple others barrel out of the back patio door, nearly ripping the flimsy screen door off its hinges in your haste, while the classmate in the blue sweater fruitlessly struggles with the killer in the kitchen. your leg muscles flex harder when you hear the person's agonized shout and the mushy rip of flesh being torn seconds later. almost everyone else has taken the same idea to run for their lives rather than stay and try to fight or disarm the killer; the streets are dotted in every direction with students running for any possible safety, many not having arrived to the party in cars to escape in.

thankfully, jungkook is not one of them.

he grasps your wrist painfully hard in his panic and yanks you in the direction of his car, which is so pitch black that you almost didn't see it sitting in the shadows.

when you get inside, you've never been so grateful to be within the safe metal enclosure of a car in your whole life. hands shaking, jungkook jams the key into the ignition and presses the gas pedal so hard your head jerks against the headrest. however, in your temporary relief, you think of lorelai. your vision doubles as you scramble to open your phone and call her, your head spinning with a new spike of fear. it rings for a while with no answer, and you try two more times only to get the same result.

"maybe she got to safety somewhere else?” jungkook tries to reason with you, his eyes bouncing between your face and the road ahead so he doesn't hit any other cars or any random students still running across the streets. "i didn't see her anywhere in the house before we ran out."

"that just means she could be hiding somewhere in there!" you shriek, unable to control your terror at your friend possibly being trapped in the house with the killer.

"well—maybe just let her stick it out, he won't find her if she just—"

"oh god, but i called her like three fucking times; what if he heard the phone ringing? i'm gonna kill myself."

“y/n, you’re overreacting like shit, there’s no way he’d hear a phone ringing in all that noise—"

unlistening, you drop your phone and bang your fists on your head in frustration and anguish.

sighing deeply, jungkook forgoes any attempt to do a 3-point turn, which requires more coordination than he has at the moment, and drives straight up into someone's yard to make a U-turn back toward the house.

you hadn’t gotten too far from the party house, so in another minute or two and with a couple messy turns that cause the wheels to ride up onto the curb, you’re back on the street leading up to the house. before you can reach it, though, jungkook slams on the breaks, and you have to throw your hands out onto the dashboard to avoid flying into it due to not fastening your seatbelt. you’re not very successful; the move hurts your wrists, and you’re pretty sure some of your ribs just got bruised anyway.

“what the fuck?” jungkook shouts.

the virgin killer with his lycanthrope mask is standing in the middle of the street; he turns to face the car. he has a chokehold grip on a guy you recognize as a popular frat member, who is almost bare except for his blue-plaid boxers. you remember seeing the frat guy dancing with his girlfriend when you and lorelai initially entered the party; he was in the group of guys who put this whole party together as a way to “save” the campus’s virgins.

the virgin killer is holding a gun to the guy’s head, and you have no clue where he might’ve gotten it from. the guy’s demeanor is weak, and he’s barely able to stand, which is obviously from the profuse blood loss he’s suffering; the killer has carved sharp letters into his stomach to form two words—“FAIR GAME.”

“fair game?” you mumble, a sickly realization forming in your mind.

“fuck no—" jungkook is already throwing the car into reverse when you hear and see the first bullet go off, exploding the frat member’s head into an unrecognizable mess and making you scream at the top of your lungs. you hear more shots after you close your eyes and tuck your body down, along with the sounds of bullets splitting metal and hitting glass, and you think you might be actively dying—or maybe you’re already dead. even that would be preferable to experiencing this nightmare.

you can’t think as you feel the whole world spinning, your body tossed violently around. in reality, the only thing moving is jungkook’s car as he whips the vehicle around and speeds down the same street you just traveled up.

for a few long minutes, you only hear your own heartbeat, his murmured and frantic curses, and the strained breaths coming from both of you. you keep your body curled up with your knees tucked to your chest and arms over your face. the car’s engine roars as it races down the highway.

you’re afraid to open your eyes and find out, but you have to at some point. plus, the uncomfortable position is making your body hurt. carefully, you unfurl yourself and turn to look at him. “did you get hurt?”

“uhh—no? i don’t think…?” he takes one hand off the wheel to feel up his body as if he’s just realizing that might be a possibility. “but i’m wired off pure adrenaline right now, so give me a few more minutes to be sure…” he looks to you. “are you?”

“no.” your blood still runs cold at the thought of lorelai being stuck in the house or navigating the dark neighborhood streets at this time of night. maybe she doesn’t even have her phone; maybe it was lost in the commotion. the number of possible scenarios makes you ill.

there’s silence for a while; you assume he must not be hurt after all. you start seeing familiar roads that lead back to the campus, and the gears in your mind begin turning, powered by fear.

“do you think it’s safe to go back to the college?” you ask, your voice small.

after a pause jungkook asks, “why not?” though his face begins to look like he’s second-guessing things.

“the killer could go back to the campus…i don’t know. there was so much violence tonight. it’s like he really has a grudge against the students from our school or something. what if he wants more victims? the campus police are already incompetent, but with most of them off the grounds and on their way to the party house…” you don’t finish your thought. you’ll need to warn camille of the potential danger.

“right, yeah…” jungkook’s hands flex around the steering wheel a few times. “we should…probably go somewhere else, then.”

nowhere feels safe. still, you ask, “where?”

changing his route, jungkook glances over at you. “to a friend’s house.”

#jungkook smut #jungkook fic #jungkook imagines #jungkook scenarios #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fic #bts smut #bts x you #bts x reader #black reader #x black reader #x black fem reader #black fem reader #fem reader #female reader

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jewishvitya · 1 year ago

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hi riki! this is a bizarre question ngl, but im wondering if you could please tell me about why you are anti-Zionist? Since i have FRESHLY (last month!! Woohoo!!) become bat mitzvah, and I’m not going to beit Sefer every week now, I’m starting to realize that what I was told about Israel and zionism miiiight be innacurate. Please feel free not to, but I would personally feel more comfortable hearing about Antizionism from somebody who is for sure not hiding any antisemitic biases. Thanks and I hope it’s not a bother!

Mazal tov!

I was debating if I should reply to this and how. You're only one year older than my son and I never considered talking about this with a kid other than my own children. But if you're online reading and looking up information about this, I'll just answer the way I would for anyone. Like I said, I don't mind explaining. But I don't have the energy to collect sources for you. I'll do that later if you'd like. For now it'll be a bit of a rant.

Basically, if you ask different people what zionism is, you'll get different answers. Some people say that zionism is just the acknowledgement of our connection to this land. That's not what I'm going against. I'm not denying that this is our ancestral homeland. I've never known a different home, I grew up near Hebron. Our history means everything to me. So maybe you could create some definition of zionism that I wouldn't be against. But then I'll be against the use of the word because in practice, politically, the movement has been colonialist. And that reality is more important to me. So when I say I'm antizionist, I'm not talking about whatever pretty idea someone might have, I'm talking about things that to me are very concrete.

Zionism uses whatever political terminology is useful to it at the time. Currently, it tries to paint itself as a sort of landback movement, placing us as the indigenous population of this land. This is a distraction. If you mean "indigenous" as "this is where we originated" - both us and Palestinians are indigenous, which makes this term pointless to this situation. If you mean "indigenous" as "a local population facing colonization" - they're indigenous and we're the colonizers. That's the more politically useful distinction.

And the thing is, zionists knew they were colonizers. Ben Gurion was welcomed by the local population and expressed hope that they're nomadic and could be persuaded to leave. Ze'ev Jabotinsky argued that no land has been colonized with the consent of its natives, so we should just take what we want like other occupying forces did. They knew what they were doing. At the time, there wasn't the broad political pushback against colonialism that you see today, so they didn't really hide it. They saw themselves as the colonizing force and the Palestinians as the natives and this distinction had them placing themselves above the Palestinians.

When I was in school, I was made to believe that Palestine was never truly a country and the population here was never a cohesive nation. You might see questions like "Who were the Palestinian prime ministers and presidents? What was the Palestinian coin? What Palestinian wars were there before the creation of Israel?"

These questions tell you nothing other than the fact that Palestine has been under foreign occupation for a very long time. They try to lead you to believe that Palestine and the Palestinian identity are fictional constructs designed to deny us our place in this land.

But Palestinians have their own dialect of Arabic. They have their own varieties of Middle Eastern foods. They have their own clothing, their own embroidery patterns, their own dances. They have a very rich culture that wasn't just made up from nothing within the last century. I still have to battle against cognitive dissonance every time I find something of the sort, because Palestinian culture goes against everything I was taught.

The truth is, the British had no right to occupy Palestine, and they had no right to offer it to us. If we pretend there was no population that was wronged when we took Israel, we can be "the good guys" with Palestinians being a sinister plot to ruin us. This turns normal families, normal people, into a conspiracy made to hurt us. We're not fighting a military force - every Palestinian person is a threat to our legitimacy. Israelis don't even really use the term "Palestinians" - they're just Arabs, their individual identity is stripped from them. We pretend that they belong to other countries around us.

Israeli propaganda will tell you that we only ever act in self defense. It's in the name of our military, it's called a defense force. Israel boasts that it has the only ethical military in the world. The only defensive one. But like I said, we define threats very broadly. And we whitewash a lot of history. I was taught in school all our fighting was defensive - and then I spoke to an elderly man and he said "of course we killed whole villages, it was war, that's what you do." Only as an adult I found out about things like the Sabra and Shatila massacre and our involvement in it.

For the existence of Israel as an ethnostate, every Palestinian is a threat. A lot of people are all in favor of Israel, but against the government actions of ethnic cleansing. The truth is, the ethnostate is not sustainable without the ethnic cleansing. You can't accept one and expect it not to lead to the other. An ethnostate is never a justified goal, and that's always been the goal of zionism as a practical movement.

And I know why this exists. We've had two millennia of persecution. Antisemitism is one of the oldest forms of bigotry. And we just experienced an attempt to industrially exterminate us, we lost millions, including from my own family. We want shelter and safety and the ability to defend ourselves. I just can't see that as justification for what we did and continue to do.

You can look up our human rights abuses, but personally, there were moments that hit me. When I saw a whole warehouse of mail intended to reach Gaza, mail that's been kept from them for years, including items like wheelchairs, in such bad conditions that some envelopes got moldy. I still think of the people who spent all that money to get a wheelchair and were prevented mobility because we decided to hold their mail.

I watched the biggest apartment building in Gaza collapse under our bombs and I cried thinking about the people inside, and about the potential survivors and everything they lost.

I watched our people beat up the pallbearers at the funeral of Shireen Abu-Akleh, a Palestinian reporter. They almost dropped the casket from all those beatings. They were no threat. They just carried her. There was no reason to hurt them.

On the news, after Shireen Abu-Akleh died, the description of the Palestinian response to her death was that they're "חוגגים על המוות." The literal translation is that they're celebrating over the death, but that's not what it means. The meaning is that they're exaggerating their pain and their grief. They're acting, pretending, milking the injustice of it for show. And that's a common Israeli narrative, that Palestinians make a big deal out of things and pretend to suffer more just to make us look bad. We've dehumanized them to the point where we don't believe their grief.

And before all of this, growing up, I saw what the "us vs them" mentality caused in children. I grew up in Kiryat Arba and the population there is very strongly zionist. It's a settlement. It's largely Dati Leumi (national religious? I'm not sure how to translate, dati means religious and leumi means national). Over there I saw children as young as six cheerfully talk about joining the military and killing Arabs. I saw a kid throwing chocolate past the electric fence separating us from them, and laughing when a small Palestinian child went looking for that chocolate, calling her a pig. I saw my high school classmates questioning if they should help the family of a six-months-old baby, first demanding to know if the sick infant is Arab.

The Israeli left has a bit of a slogan. הכיבוש משחית. The occupation corrupts. It means that being an oppressive force changes what we are. It ruins us. And I truly believe that. It taints so much about us and our culture, about our compassion and our ability to have solidarity with other humans. Many principles that kept us safe in diaspora are used now to harm gentiles living under our control, and Palestinians suffer most of all.

So these are the reasons I'm antizionist. I hate what we do to Palestinians. I hate what it does to us. And more fundamentally, I'm against colonialism.

#riki babbles #Palestine

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lowkeyremi · 11 months ago

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Can I request Sorcerer Satoru and glasses wearing non-sorcerer fem reader who can see curses (I was recently watching curse womb arc and apparently someone who can see curses but not exorcise them are called widows) but make her a gardener at jujustu tech!

so the reader is shy but she likes Satoru so in her own way, she tries to make him happy...how? She leaves him flowers with (different positive meanings) in his office everyday!

Satoru thinks everybody gets flowers until he talks with others about it and realizes only he gets them. So the trio (yuuji and gang) goes into investigation mode and then they find out that each flower Satoru had received has positive meanings! Then Satoru waits next day for reader to arrive with flowers and that day the flower mean "Please notice me" and then the usual Satoru rizz and they go out on date and you can elaborate from here or leave it after their date ( but please make sure they do end up together tho!) Thanks~

Morning Glory s. gojo x fem!reader

note: the title is based on a flower that i thought kinda looks like satoru's eyes <33 ty for requesting bby :D

content: fluff, flowers many flowers, reader is a gardener at jujutsu high, gojo is a little bit dumb at first, getting together, au where geto's a teacher!!

This was the fourth time Gojo has stepped into his classroom to find flowers on his desk. He found the little gesture endearing, even though he had no clue who it was. At first he thought it was one of his students bringing him flowers but all five of them denied it.

He's also asked Geto if he was leaving the flowers but the raven haired male denied it also.

Suddenly his three first years became curious of who could be leaving these different flowers for their sensei.

"Huh, I'm surprised he's even getting flowers. Gojo Sensei is annoying." Megumi said.

Nobara chimed in, "Either they're desperate or has bad taste!"

Yuji the kind soul tried to give his teacher the benefit of the doubt, "Oh come on guys! Maybe a sweet person wanted him to have them!"

Both laughed off the idea, but decided to help him anyway.

--------

Gojo had talked with just about every teacher trying to find the source of these flowers. Finally, when he asked Yaga, he told him they have a gardener he could ask.

Since when did they have a gardener? Yaga looked at him like it was a dumb question, "How do you think the grass stays this nice and the flowers look good?"

By the time someone told him where he could find you he decided to rule you out. There's no way a girl like you could be interested in him. You look so adorable in your glasses that seem to be a bit big because you constantly slide them up your face.

The way you tend to the flowers is so gentle and loving. Gojo was very hyper and crazy, he feared he'd scare you off.

As he's walking away you turn your head to see Gojo's back. You stifle a gasp so he doesn't potentially hear you. Had he just been walking by? Or was he coming to talk to you?

There's no way he was just passing by, because this garden is secluded on the west side of campus.

You wanted to tell him to come back, but fear stopped you. The horror of stumbling on your words or flat out rejection was too much to even think about.

-------

You'd hand pick the beautiful morning glory flowers, only selecting the best looking ones for him. Afterward you'd cut away all the imperfections from the stems. Then it was time to look for the wrapping paper you wanted to wrap them up in.

Around this time Gojo usually was on his lunch break so he wouldn't see you sneak the flowers in. Once they were wrapped you wrote a little card which read:

"These flowers are beautiful, just like your eyes. I hope you enjoy them!" -Your Secret Admirer

You slipped the little card in the bouquet. Now it was time to bring them to his classroom. The hallways were quiet as you walked in them toward his classroom. The cold metal of the door handle met your hand and you pushed it slowly, as to not make any noise.

Your eyes scan the room as you step inside and you're surprised to find Gojo sitting at his desk, feet on his desk.

"Aha so it was you!" He says with a delighted smile.

You looked like a deer caught in headlights. For some reason your brain goes into fight or flight mode and you drop the flowers and book it down the hall. What if he waited to confront you because he hates them?

"Hey wait!" You hear him yell but you don't stop.

You should have realized he'd catch you. He is after all the strongest sorcerer in the world.

His warm hand gripped your wrist. "These are beautiful." He whispers thoughtfully, a small smile follows.

He likes them? It takes a second to process this, because this whole time you were scared to tell him about the flowers. From what others have said about him made you believe he was a snarky, all about me, kind of guy. Even though deep down inside you figured there was some good to him.

"You like them?"

"Of course I do! They look kinda like my eyes." You point to the card, and he opens it to read it.

"How'd you know what they look like?" He asks curiously. His blindfold is on so he swears there's no way you could have seen them.

"I've been gardening here for quite a while, but I saw them that one time your blindfold slipped down your face because you weren't used to wearing it and it was the wrong size." You chuckle reminiscing how he pouted about it falling down.

"Are you serious?! How have I not noticed you??? I feel so dumb." He says face palming his forehead.

"My presence isn't too noticeable I assume. I only really speak to the principal and Geto." He nods your way to let you know he's listening.

"Could I take you out sometime? Do you like fancy dinners?" He asks checking his phone to see if he has any days available.

"Um.. no where too crowded please. I'm not a fan of huge crowds." You push your stupid glasses up again.

"Shall I buy you new ones, you seem to push those up a lot." He notices.

"Uh don't worry about it, I wouldn't want you to waste your money on glasses for me!" A smile forms on his face and he shakes his head.

"Think of it as a courting gift and a compensation for these beautiful flowers. Also I know some simple quiet places we could dine at." You truly feel at ease around him too. Gojo is not like anything people described him as. He may be a little self-centered but he knows how to put himself to the side.

"Okay, I look forward to dinner." You both smile this time. He grabs your hand, giving it a tender kiss. You feel heat pool in your stomach at the sweet action.

"What a charmer you are." And he chuckles at you.

"That I am."

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x female reader #gojo x female reader #gojo #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo fluff #jjk fluff

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midnight-mourning · 21 days ago

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I won’t lie, saw your post about how things are scary rn in the U.S. and… idrk what’s going on. Been avoiding it like the plague bc i’m afraid of the information i’m currently ignorant to. As someone who dwells on “what ifs” it scares me to know what is going on but at the same time i wanna know what’s happening since i live in the U.S too. Just wanted to share this. I feel bad bc of the fact that i been ignoring it, so i do wanna know what’s going on. I just want someone to tell it to me in a way that doesn’t feel like i’m being attacked for avoiding it bc i’m too afraid to learn the information by myself. But there may be some people like me out there.

Hi there, that's absolutely valid, it's been a bit of a mess and some miscommunications have occurred already (as typical always every 4 years here) and wanting to avoid all of it isn't unreasonable. Acknowledging but avoiding a subject is completely different than denial, and that's totally okay, I don't judge. I'll do my best to explain in a way that makes sense and that's hopefully helpful

Before anything else, let me preface this by saying that I am NOT a political scientist, I am NOT an expert in anyway regarding politics in the slightest, anything that I share below is based on my personal experience and research so please keep that in mind, I highly encourage you to check out the sources below for any further information. Having said that, here's what we know:

According to The Associated Press, and other news outlets, the current president elect is Donald Trump with 292 of the electoral college votes, races have not been called in AZ, NV, ME and AK.

Harris is set to give a concession speech at 4 pm EST today.

Republicans have control of the senate with 52 seats, with democrats having lost 3 seats and currently have 43. 5 remaining races have yet to be called. Currently, they are projected to be filled by Democrats by Associated Press and 270 to Win.

The house is currently still a toss up, 270 to Win projects 209 (D) to 213 (R) for 20 of the remaining 33 uncalled races. Again, 13 races are still a toss-up at this point in time.

Sources for more information:

If you would like more information regarding live coverage, as well as general, unbiased reporting, Associated Press is (in my opinion) the most accurate and unbiased source of information.

If you would like to see current projections for the remaining races, Associated Press and 270 to win appear (emphasis on appear) to have the most accurate reporting.

If you want to see live coverage and discussion, or to see how things unfolded last night, CNN did have a broadcast going last night that was free to watch. It appears they've now taken it down. If I happen to find said broadcast I'll update the post with it as they do a good job of explaining things state by state, precint by precint. However, much like any other media outlet, they can be prone to bias (left-leaning) and potentially to fear mongering. Should you seek out CNN or any other news outlet besides those above please keep in mind that reporting may be influenced in certain ways because of this.

Having said all that, here's what I personally think this means and what can still happen, with facts mixed in for reference. Much of this is my opinion and should not be taken as fact unless it's cited. Again, not an expert, just someone with a very very basic understanding of politics and government.

With the win of the presidency and the senate, republicans are at the advantage. With senate control they will be able to assist with choosing the next presidental cabinet, and should there be a vacancy on the supreme court, assist with that.

However, if democrats can take control of the house, the win will be massive, and leave them able to have some say in the next 4 years, but nothing is for certain at this point in time

Democrats potentially have at least a little breathing room in the senate, they're not majority, but only 4 seats difference is better than nothing

We've gotten through a Trump presidency before, the situation then, as well as the feeling everyone has now is exactly the same. We made it through then, and we can make it through again

The senate is only guaranteed to be controlled by Republicans until the 2026 midterms, two years is a long time, but it's only two years

Having lived through the last Trump term in my teens and remember it well, yes he managed to do some pretty awful things, but he also undelivered in several ways, we can only hope the same thing happens this time around, this would be especially true should democrats take the House

He won't be back, if he makes it through the term he'll be too old and his health won't be great. Republicans didn't want him this time, they won't want him the next.

JD Vance and so many others will still be kicking long after he's gone though, and that needs to be in the back of people's heads when we get closer to 2028

Trump made a lot of empty promises he didn't keep before, and personally I don't think he beleves half the things he says, he just says it because he knows others do believe it. Giving up hope now for a better tomorrow won't make a better tomorrow, hoping despite it all will. Giving up also gives people like him exactly what they want, and I'm not about to do that, neither should you.

For now, be vigilant, stay safe, but try to relax. Doom-scrolling, wondering what might happen, and so on, is pointless because at this point, we don't know. Anything could happen, this election is a clear example of that.

Hope this was able to help, anon. We're all in this together, and as long as that remains true, we're going to be okay. Highly recommend after reading this to do what's best for you, be that choosing to find out more through the sources above or continue to avoid it. Personally, I'm getting together with some friends this evening to study, chat, and chill and decompress from it all, hopefully you can do something similar if you need to 💜

#did my best to keep my opinions void of misleading information #again I have no expertise #in the slightest #if you see post and are interested in engaging in discourse #please don't #this is just basic information and my opinion #it is not intended to influence people's views nor to cause arguments

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greekceltic · 10 months ago

Text

FAQ Page

She/her | 38 | I like cats and rain. My comic: https://catswaycomic.com/ My Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/greekceltic My Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/greekceltic Other links: https://linktr.ee/greekceltic Sorry in advance if you send me a message and I don't get back to you, I tend not to stress over messages/asks. I do try to read them though, and I'm always open to being asked questions about characters or my headworld/stories. I am already aware that my art is being copied. They're blocked. Please stop telling me about it. Rest of my FAQ is under the cut >

Can I repost your work? I don't mind as long as I'm credited. I'm less okay with my work being used as a pageviews grab, but it's probably not worth my time to care. If it's something I've selected to take down and don't have posted anymore, don't. If it's something you commissioned, go for it. You don't need to credit me every time you share it. Once in a while is cool.

Are you okay with fanart? What about OC interactions? Can I post it? Sure, just don't profit off of it and please credit me. If you want to draw my OCs interacting with yours that's also fine (and fun!)- though I prefer situations where their actions make sense. Alf wouldn't make your character cry, for example. He's grumpy but not cruel. Posting it is fine. Is it okay if I take inspiration from your art and concepts? I've been in a situation in recent years where another artist has taken far, far too much. It's a subject I'm pretty burnt out on. I recently saw another artist's take on this and it looked sensible to me. I'm just going to quote theirs. I have tried to find my own words, but right now I find myself more comfortable using someone else's. "Well, if you’re having to ask me for permission, either your design is too similar or you’re being overly nervous about a normal artistic process. You’re absolutely free to use my work as a source of inspiration but I’d strongly encourage you to think about the details from my design you like most, and remix them with other concepts into your own unique take."

Taking inspiration is something everyone does, but please don't become a shadow I get bi-weekly alerts about. Ideally your pool of inspiration will be many artists and concepts re-imagined into something unique to you- and that you're being honest with yourself about the result.

Your art is being copied! / Will you tell me who the copy cat is? I get a lot of messages about this and am tired. I'm sure if my art ends up somewhere it shouldn't be or there's something really worth my attention I'll find out through friends. Otherwise, I'm just sayin' get a second or third opinion before coming to my inbox. I probably already know about it.

I sent you a message and you didn't respond. Sorry about that. I tend not to stress about messages because it can be a drain. You're more likely to get a response if you let me know from the get go what you want, but nothing is guaranteed. Sometimes I didn't see it, sometimes I got busy or forgot, sometimes I plan to do it later, sometimes I just opted out. It's not personal. Where do you Rp? Are you looking for more partners? Discord mostly. Roleplay consumes a lot of time so these days I mostly only play with my buddy Thema. I probably wouldn't have time to play, but I like to hang around people that do and I don't mind being asked. Just please don't be sad if I never get around to responding! I'm most compatible with people who are comfortable with radio silence.

Can I use your characters in roleplay/as roleplay refs? Considering I actively roleplay my OCs and there's a potential for confusion, I'd rather you didn't. Though I think there's a difference between linking to my art and saying 'this is my character', and linking to it to say 'this has the mood I'm going for, but here's what's different about my character--'. The latter is fine.

Can I make Fan OCs for your setting? Thinking about this makes me tired. Maybe I'll get to a point where I'm more comfortable later, but for now I'd rather you didn't make something directly from my worlds. But lets be real, you don't need my permission to draw cat monsters and I take a huge amount of inspiration from ancient history. Many of my concepts are inspired by things that you can read about and be inspired too. If you see something and are curious if there's a historical source, just ask. Hopefully I'll remember.

Do I have permission to draw NSFW art of your characters? No, for a plethora of reasons, some easy to explain and some not, but I probably can't stop you. Just don't profit off of it or show it to me.

Do you have a website for your OCs? I have RP pages for them scattered all over the place and many of them are outdated, but as I type this I recently put some up on Toyhouse. https://toyhou.se/GreekCeltic

Do you have a website for your comic? Sure do. It's an expensive fuck. https://catswaycomic.com/ When does your comic update? Sporadically. I work on it when I have time. My income is solely freelance commissions and Patreon- mostly commissions.

There's other places you could post your comic! Yeah, I know. I may do that someday, but for now I like having my own house, even if it's an expensive fuck. (Not really, the renewal just hits around tax time, Lol).

#faq #stuff

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margareth-lv · 1 year ago

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🎭 We have to make that distinction between character and actor at the end of the day 🎭

… when you are reading X (formerly known as Twitter) and you come across a short, simple sentence, without any artificial, pretentious mannerisms...

Who is an intimacy coordinator? Someone who asks you if you're okay while you're shooting a sex scene. To which Jennifer Aniston replies: Please, this is awkward enough! We're experienced, we can handle it. 👀👀👀

Reading such a simple sentence, it is hard not to be in awe that an experienced actress can have such a straightforward, natural approach to the filming of sex scenes.

This is probably because Jennifer Aniston sees sex scenes as part of her job and doesn't make a big philosophy out of it. She acts. She finishes her work. She goes home and collects a handsome salary. Meanwhile, in the world of Outlander… do you remember how the hiring of Vanessa Coffey as IC was justified? ❓

My archive remembers: it was an article published on Digital Spy on 15 March 2022.

My favourite part of the article was:

I don't want to add any more sentences here about separating the sex life of a character from the sex life of the actor. In the end, I'm happy to learn from the article that Sam and Caitriona no longer want to show their sex life on screen, and that's it.

What is fascinating, however, is the statement that all the finesse of the intimacy coordinator's work comes down to making choices based on character, not on what we might personally bring into the room from our own lives.

It has always seemed to me that the actor's construction of a stage character is about giving that character a part of themselves.

The point is that you always bring your own emotions, intellect, spirit and life experience to a role. Actors interpret every script, every character, every scene through their own emotional lens that's been shaped by their particular life story and background. That's what makes each actor unique.

But on the Outalander set it doesn't work. I mean, we know it worked (it did), we see it worked, but they are now telling us: basta. Finito.

You know, they don't kiss anymore. They don't know how to kiss. They're clearly showing us that they don't know how to kiss (they don't know how to kiss, so they're not in a relationship, it's more than obvious, isn't it?). They put their mouths together and suck, mouth closed.

That is how we know they are not in a relationship. Could they be any more obvious?

Well, he can:

🤪

Source:

[December 12, 2023]

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memento-morri-writes · 1 year ago

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Do you have any advice or specific tips to writing a low/no empathy character? Or a resource to recommend?

Hi nonny! Thanks for asking! I'm going to try my best to answer your question, but keep in mind, this is all based on my own personal experience, and that varies vastly from person to person. (if anyone else experiences low/no empathy, please feel free to add on to this post!)

So, some things to keep in mind:

Why does your character experience low/no empathy? For me, it's a symptom of my autism, but there are multiple reasons a character could have low/no empathy. The most common is probably going to be some form of disability (autism), or disorder (psychopathy), etc. (Be careful while doing research though, especially on disorders like psychopathy! You're going to run into a lot of ableist bullshit. Make sure to look for sources written by people living with these disorders/disabilities.) (If anyone has any resources on other disabilities or disorders that cause low empathy that they personally recommend, please feel free to add links!!!) Whatever the reason, it's not going to only affect their empathy. It's going to affect every part of their life. So make sure to do your research, and write respectfully. If you know someone or follow someone who has a certain condition, ask if they'd feel comfortable answering questions for you. If they aren't, that's fine. If they are, they're going to be a great resource. (I'd also recommend getting a sensitivity reader, particularly when writing about mental disorders that are already frequently stigmatized. You want to make sure you're not promoting harmful stereotypes.) I should note, however, that neurotypical people can also have low/no empathy!!! It just happens to also be a common symptom of various mental disorders.

Consider what kind of empathy does your character lack. There are two kinds of empathy! Emotional (or affective) empathy, and cognitive empathy. Affective empathy is made up of three parts: Feeling the same emotion as someone else, feeling discomfort or stress in response to someone else's suffering, and feeling compassion for or understanding another's emotions. Cognitive empathy is the ability to recognize and understand the emotions of someone else. This includes being to "stand in someone else's shoes", or take another person's perspective, and generally understand what they're feeling. This one has been called more of a "skill", in that it's something people can "learn", where as affective empathy can't be taught or learned. When people talk about having low/no empathy, they are usually referring to lacking affective empathy, but a character might struggle with both!

Not everyone experiences empathy the same. Some people lack empathy in some circumstances, but have it in others. For example, I lack empathy when it comes to human beings, but I am much more empathetic when it comes to animals. A character might only be able to empathize with very specific scenarios or people. (For example, if someone else is going through a very similar scenario to one they have experienced in the past, it may be easier for them to feel empathy. But it might not!) Some people can empathize with certain emotions better than others. (I empathize better with anger, but can't empathize at all with grief.)

Understand that a lack of empathy does not equal a lack of caring. Just because a person doesn't feel the emotions someone else is feeling doesn't mean they don't care. A person with low or no empathy can still be kind and compassionate to others. They might go about trying to cheer people up in a slightly different way (I personally tend to try and go for distractions), but they still care about their friends and loved ones. Even seemingly "uncaring" things said by those who lack empathy do not come from a place of malice. (I can't tell you how many times I've said something well-meaning and had people assume I was being cruel. I wasn't, and I genuinely had good intentions.)

Keep in mind how your character reacts to other's emotions. People with empathy tend to feel similarly to those they empathize with, which generally creates a feeling of connection. (This is part of what leads to that sense of "coming together after tragedy".) A person with low/no empathy might instead feel alienated or uncomfortable when faced with large outpourings of emotions. They might be uncertain how to act or what to do, and they may try and avoid situations with strong negative emotions because of it. (In my case, people crying makes me very uncomfortable, because I don't know how to respond. So I try and keep my distance.)

Think about how your character processes their own emotions. Just because a character doesn't feel empathy for others doesn't mean that they are incapable of feeling those emotions on their own. A character who has no empathy for a grieving friend can still grieve! But chances are they will process that emotion differently than a person with "normal" empathy. They might try to push their emotions away and bottle them up. Or one emotion might transition into one they have an easier time processing. (For me, I don't experience sadness normally. It either transitions to anger, or it is replaced by different thoughts.)

Think about how their lack of empathy influences their life. A person who lacks empathy is not going to experience life the same way as a person with "normal" empathy. They might have a hard time making friends, or they might excel at a job that requires a logical mind. They might give great advice, or their friends might know to never ask them about relationships. They might be great at organizing people, even in times of stress, because their brain compartmentalizes and thinks pragmatically. They might totally shut down when faced with an emotional situation because they don't know how to process it.

Having no empathy can be very alienating. People expect empathy constantly. It's a big part of why people love emotional media, and it's the expected response when someone you know experiences suffering. Not having empathy can mean that you feel disconnected from your loved ones or community as a whole. It might mean biting your tongue and not saying what you think because people would read it as uncaring or cruel.

Remember: Having low or no empathy is not a bad thing. People with low/no empathy are often villainized in media, and the trait is often given to antagonists. But that's a harmful stereotype and harmful belief in general. That's not saying that your character with low empathy has to be "good", but don't use their low empathy as proof that they're a "bad person". Try thinking about situations in which having low/no empathy might be useful! I personally am reminded of the post I saw years ago where someone was saying that if not for their lack of empathy, they probably couldn't do their job. (iirc, they worked handling the bodies of organ donors, some of whom were quite young.)

Okay, that's all I can think of for now, but like I said before, anyone else who experiences low or no empathy is encouraged to reblog this post and add on to it! And if I made any mistakes here, please let me know so I can fix them!!! I tried to base this mostly off of my own experience, so take it all with a grain of salt.

#Anonymous #morrigan replies #writing autistic characters #writing low empathy characters #writing no empathy characters #character development #character inspo #no empathy #low empathy

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fallingsatellive · 7 days ago

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I didn't want to run a tag essay on someone else's ask post just because it touched on my apparent Rant Button Topic and I kept going, but it's always so important to me to stress that deciding you can Tell who is part of the in-group and who isn't based on immediate first impressions is how you get outright accusatory gatekeeping, without even a middle step in between point A and point B. Not just with alter/nonhumanity‚ but with everything. When you do this, you implicitly think yourself immune because you know your own identity and it's obviously real‚ source: you—so you are the standard‚ it's obvious‚ and those who don't match up to it just wouldn't get it, just won't ever understand the complexity of your lived experience as part of an in-group they're not in-. If they insist, they might even be faking.

Can you tell I'm tired of other autistic people assuming I'm not autistic because we didn't relate to each other or me to their self-inspired understanding of how to define autism? How many other neurodivergent people have had a different experience of it throughout their life or to begin with, those whose autistic traits I couldn't relate to and therefore mine are just annoying or me being stupid, not autism? When someone decides they "know their fellows when they see them," they have already decided that their outspoken directness (for example) is the default autism, and someone else's inability to verbally explain complicated things disqualifies them.

You cannot smell the nonhuman on someone! If you think you can, you may be someone who has decided that your nature is the default and outside of that circle is everything orthohuman, facing someone quietly deciding the same thing about you, more than you'll ever know. In a community that's already by nature comprised of so many different species who are never going to instantly click and relate to each other because some of us are dogs and some of us are fish—what makes you confident you'll always know another alterhuman when you see one if you're a bluejay and you're interacting with fucking Count Orlock? See also: This guy claims to be autistic, but struggles to verbally explain complicated things and uses reticent or confusing language; clearly he's an obstinate neurotypical refusing to just speak in a clear manner about things, as everyone knows they're like. Don't consider he might be semiverbal or psychotic or traumatized or that that can even just be a trait of autism on its own.

Point of order 2: this mindset almost-always leads to a superiority complex. It's not about the misanthropic ideals, it's about feeling like you are the arbiter and when you sweep everyone else outside of your specials circle, they're whatever word your particular community uses for what Reddit has compassionately dubbed NPCs: every single other person on the planet who isn't you and your friends. Don't you just hate humans? Don't you hate looking at ugly humans being loud and obnoxious all over the place? I, too, love arbitrarily deciding which people are part of the out-group based on how aesthetically pleasing they are to my nonhuman eye. (How often, I wonder when I see these sentiments, are they being thought in the moment about a disabled or homeless person in public.)

This isn't just an alter/nonhuman thing, it has been a huge problem in the autistic community with people deciding "neurotypicals" are the root of all evil, transmascs especially deciding cis men can just never understand anything true and real, and since knowing I'm aro I have adamantly refused to engage with the "we're better because we're enlightened for being ace/aro" thing that is surprisingly common, but since that was the topic of the previous post, this goes out to the alterhuman community: I am once again asking you to stop making assumptions, let alone extrapolating from them the in-group's exceptionalism and the out-group's lack of an inner life.

Somewhere there is a bluejay being a stubborn human again for being oblivious to Count Orlock's intricate fictionkin experiences.

#alterhuman

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halfmoth-halfman · 10 months ago

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i got an ask about advice for writing when you're discouraged, so i thought i'd make a post addressing some of the points because i think this is something that everyone has gone through and can relate to. most of this is just what's helped me/what i'd tell myself in the past, but if anyone has advice to add on please feel free! i hope this helps at least a little bit, anon!

"I’m not good at (dialogue/atmosphere/prose/etc)."

write it anyways! one of the best ways to build a skill is to keep doing it. even if you don't ever post it, or only share it with a few friends, or just read it to your pets, or whatever you choose to do, it's better to write something "badly" than to not write at all. or even asking for help on how to improve from other writers. i struggle a lot with atmosphere and scenery, and something that helped me a lot was talking to other writers whose fics i really enjoy and inspire me. i know it may seem intimidating, but there are plenty of writers on tumblr that would love to talk about how they compose their scenes, their dialogue, anything and everything if someone asks.

"I can’t make moodboards/headers/aesthetic posts."

the good news is, you don't have to! fics don't have to have anything other than the fic itself. i can't speak for everyone, but while aesthetics may get my attention, it's the person behind the blog that i stay for. if you want your blog or your fics to have a pretty aesthetic, it shouldn't be because you feel forced to but because you want to do it. if you don't find making moodboards or headers or aesthetic posts fun, then you don't have to do them. and if you want to, but don't know how, there are a ton of resources, links, and blogs dedicated to helping on tumblr.

"I’m not at (insert someone else)’s writing level."

and you might never be, and that's okay! every writer is different - they have different styles, write at different paces, perceive their skill differently. basing your progress on someone else's isn't going to help because you're not them. you have your own time, energy, ability, and ideas, you'll grow and improve at your own pace, just like they did. don't force yourself to try and follow the same timeline of someone else, and don't put yourself down because you're getting better - and you are getting better - at your own pace.

"I can’t find the motivation to write."

honestly same. i think it's a pretty universal experience to lose motivation for something you were excited about at one point. sometimes the vibes aren't it and the story doesn't want to story, but that's alright. it can be hard to stay motivated, and what gets someone inspired again is different everyone. i can't give advice for anything outside of what's helped me, but a few ways i've re-motivated myself to write something are: making a fic playlist, stepping away from the fic for a day or two, giving it to a friend to read, re-watching/reading the source material, doodling fic ideas, and skipping to a different part of the story.

"I can’t write fast enough."

unless it's for something like work where you have a fixed deadline, there is no "fast enough" in writing. don't let anyone tell you otherwise. when i first started writing, in the very early days of ao3 and tumblr, fic updates could takes months or even more than a year and that was fine! one of my favorite fics took a six year hiatus, and that didn't diminish any of the enjoyment i had when it came back. you are not a machine, you're a human being with needs outside of writing. it's always okay if you need to take a break, if there's a long wait between chapters, or if you want to stop a project altogether and come back to it six years later. if someone gives you grief because you can't write within their time-frame then they're not worth having as a reader - do not overwork yourself for the sake of finishing a fic.

"It’s hard to stick to one idea at a time."

then don't! write all the ideas. write every single one. working on a project and you have a drabble that you just keep thinking about? write it. you get a sudden idea for a one-shot in a different fandom? write it. woke up in the mood to start a new five-chapter fic? write it. you can start or stop writing about anything at any time. there is no rule that you have to stick to one idea and finish it before you can write anything else, don't make yourself stick to something if it's not what you want to write, and don't punish yourself if you need to take a break from your current project.

"Maybe I’m not made for writing on tumblr."

tumblr is a shitposting website that barely works at the best of times. half of my drafts get deleted every other week for no reason - there is no way to be "made for writing on tumblr"! but tumblr is huge, there's a bajillion communities on here that would be so excited to have another writer, and a ton that are solely dedicated to helping writers and providing different resources. i guarantee there is someone on this website that will love and adore your writing.

"The things I read are better than anything I can write/comparing myself to other writers."

i don't have the cake picture saved, but we all know the gist of it: the audience (generally) isn't going to care about how decorated your cake is compared to another, they're just happy to get two cakes. and that's really all it is. your fic might not be the same preferred flavor as the audience of other writers, but there is someone out there who's going to enjoy it. i won't tell you to just not compare yourself to others, i know that's not how it works, but what has helped me is changing the way i view other fics. instead of thinking "i wish i could write like this person", i look at like "this inspires me to improve my writing". and don't get me wrong, i still have moments of doubt about my writing compared to some of the people i read, i don't think that will ever really stop, but the best thing you can do is not let yourself give in to that feeling. try and stop that train of thought before it leaves the station. no one else can write the way you can. no one else can tell your stories the way you can. no one else has the same voice as you do. if everyone wrote the same way, everything would be boring. the heart of a fic is seeing the author's personality shine through it. if you see someone write a good fic, that doesn't mean yours won't be. you have to give yourself a chance even when you feel like your writing won't be as good as someone else's. you have to bake your cake anyway.

"How do I find joy in something I know I’ll never be good at?"

you won't. full stop. if you keep telling yourself you'll never be good at something, you'll never improve, there's no point in trying, then you'll never enjoy it. i know it's easier said than done, but you have to have some level of confidence in yourself and in your writing. not only will you not enjoy it, other people will see the lack of enjoyment, the "i wrote this and it sucks" comments, the self-degradation, and they won't enjoy it either - no one feels good about a fic the author clearly didn't want to write. and, if you try everything you possibly can and still can't find any joy in writing, then maybe writing isn't the hobby for you. and that's perfectly okay! i tried quilting and glassblowing several times before i realized i just didn't like it the same way i liked writing. you owe it to yourself to find something that's fun, that makes you smile, that you're excited to do. there's a million hobbies out there, i promise you'll find something that brings you joy.

#moth talks #writing advice #long post

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not-poignant · 10 months ago

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Hi Pia

Hope you dont mind but UtB Temsen scares me. Like... there are things about him that just make me feel very unsafe lol.

I'm not sure whether you intended for him to have such a threatening undercurrent but if I existed in the Underline universe I'd stay far far away from him. It's strange because I don't get that same sense of foreboding from Gary or Augus and I'm wondering whether that because Gary has a pov and Augus is simply not present much. But idk.

I get a sense that there's an extreme darkness beneath peak alpha Temsen's character. Like, he apparently cares about omegas enough to go into a rage on their behalf and later work at Hillview but then does and says things that are like the exact opposite Like admitting that he would've raped Ef if Ef had been given to him instead of Gary and would've done it despite witnessing first hand through his profession the type of trauma that sexual abuse causes. And the fact that forced sex would've been the first thing on his mind instead of investigating further and finding the source of the pain? Yeah that's... kind of chilling actually.

So in his mind, rape isn't ok if it's committed by other alphas (like ones at different facilities) but it's ok if he commits it?

And then reading some of your responses about how Temsen is with his one night stands, or how he'd potentially be with Gwyn, and it just solidifies my belief that even though he can be nice sometimes, he is not a nice person.

If i was an omega sent to Hillview, I would be horrified to even be in the same room as him. His kindness and goodwill seem extremely conditional and feels like it could turn around any moment if someone isn't "respectful" enough. Like, he didn't like Ef talking back to him and I have a suspicion that his reaction to it would've been worse if Ef was his instead of Gary's. Temsen seems to treat patients best when they're polite, passive and obedient, which are usually trauma responses and he knows that, but (judging by his behaviour/responses) still prefers it?

I also think his cheerful bedside manner is a mask he puts on and it hides something very dark and very ugly that not even Gary and Augus possess.

As you can probably tell I have quite strong feelings about Temsen lol. Most of them not good.

Please don't take this the wrong way, these aren't judgements! I just want to express and share my feelings about him as a reader. And maybe get your thoughts as well? I would literally read an entire essay dedicated to his character to see if I could see him in a new light.

I think the fact that he's not a pov character doesn't help him much. But then you've written other non pov characters before and none of them have made me feel like this so maybe it's just a UtB Temsen thing.

If you have the time and energy to spare, I'd love and appreciate your thoughts on his character. I always love reading your responses.

Thank you

This ask is almost as long as my ask responses sdlakfjsda

And my response is VERY LONG so under a cut it goes:

Okay so, first things first, by our world standards, all of the alphas in Underline the Black are rapists. All of them. Every single one we've met so far. From the kind and caring Janusz who did not in any way obtain any kind of consent before raping Nate lovingly repeated times, to Anton who might get consent from Flitmouse this time but certainly hasn't in the past during heats, to Gary who has done god knows what to alphas before abandoning them, to Caleb who does not contain full and willing consent from the omegas he fucks and certainly puts the dubious in dubcon when he's with Faber.

So let's be blunt here, if we're going to be looking at these characters from like, our personal standards, they're all rapists. All of them. Some of them are nicer and friendlier than others, but this is a world where obtaining full and lucid consent from omegas in heat is literally impossible, and where rehabilitation facilities often make choices to put the physical health of an omega (i.e. the resolution of a heat) before the emotional or psychological health (i.e. letting the omega go through unfulfilled agony just to wait until they can get true consent).

When we look at almost all omegaverse stories through this lens, almost every single character becomes a rapist and/or capable of rape. It's one of the reasons so many of us like it so much, it's so good for rape fantasy + romance, and it fulfills a lot of the roles that oldschool Mills & Boon and Bodice Ripper romance used to fulfill. A lot of 'I hate it until I love it, and now I also love you.'

One of the things omegaverse does within the universe is create a culture where everyone just accepts this as normal, because heats exist and they must be fulfilled, because they can be fatal - and certainly agonising - if they're not. This is a world that has, by and large, decided that people dying of pain has more value than obtaining real and informed consent. Believe it or not, our world is also like this sometimes. Especially around certain medical emergencies.

In the specific context you're mentioning re: Temsen admitting he would have raped Efnisien, he's making it very clear that he would have done it in response to Efnisien's physical agony due to being in heat, and he says this in a regretful way, in the tone of someone who knows he would have been wrong to do that, after literally saving Efnisien's life during surgery, and I feel like you're really cherry picking Temsen's words here to justify how you feel about him, which is awesome - you can do that!

But if you bring it to me, I'm going to show the whole sequence of dialogue to demonstrate that he had a lot of humanity around this sentiment, instead of the absence of sentiment and humanity:

'I am sorry,' Temsen said with his formal forthright way of speaking. Gary hadn't expected the apology at all. 'I've had to put Efnisien first as my patient quite a few times over the last few days, but it leaves you neglected, and I don't mean the PACS, Gary. I...am doing a terrible job of being sympathetic to your circumstances. It would be easier, I think, if your actions didn't have a direct impact on Efnisien’s welfare. It’s hard to think when he’s in agony.' 'I know.' 'I keep thinking about the pain he's grown accustomed to. I'm... And on another matter, I think I'm in the strange position of realising an alpha who's that vulnerable has a kind of appeal, if I'm being honest. I think I might see you as a rival.' Gary lifted his eyebrows to indicate what he thought of that, and Temsen laughed. 'It's not a serious rivalry,' Temsen said. Gary didn’t think it was, or he’d be unable to be relaxed about it. 'I don't want him, he's too much work. But I'm pleased to have identified why I've been in such a strange state. I think it started off as protectiveness and became that thread of: 'Here's an alpha not doing a good enough job with him, I know I'd do better.' Realistically, I'm not sure I would. I'm not as kind as you are, for a start.' 'Kind?' 'I would have fucked him as soon as I knew he was in heat,' Temsen said, smiling slowly. 'Which would have been a nightmare, given the surgery he needed for a start. You're far kinder than I am, Gary, for all that you're a small-minded, petty tyrant, when it comes to your grief.'

So the specific piece of dialogue you're referring to, is Temsen referring to a hypothetical situation where he suspects he would have done the wrong thing, and it would have been literally 'a nightmare' (his words) and he discloses that he knows he wouldn't be as good a match to Efnisien as Gary is, and also apologises for putting Gary second because he's had to put Efnisien first due to the agony he's been in.

That's the sequence in which he discloses that he'd hypothetically have raped Efnisien.

Which, incidentally, is similar circumstances in which characters like Nate and other omegas on-site do get raped by their alphas. Nate didn't consent, couldn't consent, and would have withdrawn consent multiple times. Is Janusz regretting that? He absolutely is. Will he stop? No! That's...the trope, and it's what I love writing, and it's why Underline the Blue and Underline the Black have a black box Rape/Noncon warning - not because of the histories of these characters, but because of their current relationship.

"And the fact that forced sex would've been the first thing on his mind instead of investigating further and finding the source of the pain?"

Yeah, that's literally the job! You'll note that Nate doesn't get a medical/surgical examination by anyone before his pain / heat is solved by sex with Janusz (if you haven't read Underline the Blue yet, that's what happens). That's extremely standard. For about 99.9999% of omegas and anyone going into heat, the source of the pain is the heat. This is also happening in Underline the Gold but those chapters aren't on AO3 yet.

It would be really unusual if he did assume the pain was caused by something other than the heat. And the only reason he did consider it is that he knows Efnisien's prior medical history.

Hope you dont mind but UtB Temsen scares me.

I don't mind! It's literally canon that he scares and intimidates many of the characters, including Flitmouse, Efnisien (at times), Nate, Janusz (to a point), and Anton (at times). The threatening undercurrent is there because many characters canonically say they find him intimidating or frightening, because they have felt nauseous around him, and because of explicit canon details about things he's done in the past, as well as being extremely pragmatic about admitting to wanting to harm or kill people.

So in his mind, rape isn't ok if it's committed by other alphas (like ones at different facilities) but it's ok if he commits it?

In context of what I said above re: all alphas being rapists in this story, it's more like:

Raping maliciously to intentionally cause harm because you enjoy it isn't permissible. Raping to save someone from physiological agony, when there's no other safe way to deal with it, is. That's...why Hillview exists. They don't see it that way, because their culture is different to ours: Heats exist, and alphas exist. That radically changes the entirety of their culture.

And that's why the story is tagged as a Dystopian Universe story. Because that's dark as fuck.

Yes! He says this himself! :D He knows this better than anyone and that's why among other reasons, he's not an alpha companion and he's not interested in being one.

He knows his flaws, he's the one who told you his flaws, he says canonically and more than once that he doesn't see himself as especially kind or nice, he even says it in the sequence above where he admits that he would have assaulted Efnisien. Your belief is his belief, and it's a belief he shared with the readers and has shared with other characters. This isn't something Temsen hides from, and it's also not something he indulges, that's why he's not an alpha companion.

If i was an omega sent to Hillview, I would be horrified to even be in the same room as him.

Many of them are. If you haven't read them yet, you might want to look at Underline the Gold in particular, and sections of Underline the Blue, where the omegas freely admit they find Temsen at best intimidating and overwhelming. Flitmouse comes straight out and accuses Temsen of threatening him, and Temsen baldly admits that he is. And then he keeps doing it.

That doesn't mean they still don't prefer him over the other doctors they've seen though - *points forever at the Dystopian Universe* tag. Nowhere in this story are we saying he's a good consent-focused story, but we are saying this is a fucked up world where he might be the best an omega ever gets in their life.

His kindness and goodwill seem extremely conditional and feels like it could turn around any moment if someone isn't "respectful" enough. Like, he didn't like Ef talking back to him and I have a suspicion that his reaction to it would've been worse if Ef was his instead of Gary's.

Absolutely, again, that's why Temsen isn't an alpha companion.

But also, he's a peak alpha. Gary is quite unusual in enjoying the way Efnisien talks back to him, it's so unusual for peak alphas that he basically has a kink for it at this point and it's a fetish rather than like...a realistic representation of peak alphas.

Temsen seems to treat patients best when they're polite, passive and obedient, which are usually trauma responses and he knows that, but (judging by his behaviour/responses) still prefers it?

Highly recommend you read Underline the Blue and Underline the Gold, where he actively praises omegas for standing up to him!

In this sequence, Flitmouse is defending his right to death by starvation (cw anorexia and other disordered eating) and fires up:

'I've been- But I've been eating here!' said Flitmouse. Temsen's smile was sad. 'I always love when an omega can fire up a bit more around me. I appreciate you sharing this with me. It's safe to speak your mind around me. I just selfishly wish you weren't defending your right to starve to death so passionately. I'm glad you've been eating here. Keep doing it. Try to do it a little more. That's all I'm asking.

Please don't take this the wrong way, these aren't judgements!

I mean, they are judgements :D I just don't take it the wrong way because it's normal to have strong feelings about a complex and morally grey character, and Temsen is definitely that!

In addition, a lot of what you've written out is stuff that I have explicitly written out into the story, they're things Temsen has told you / other characters about himself. He is his own biggest warning, and he is very aware of his flaws and the reality of his nature, if he desperately wanted to rape omegas, don't you think he'd have chosen to be a companion by now? He certainly could have, very easily. None of this stuff is hidden or swept away, these are things Temsen puts front and centre, and then it's up to others how much they see that or don't see it. But Temsen also puts other aspects of himself front and centre which you (and others) choose to ignore or think are false, which I think is created by the tempting trap that if someone has very awful qualities, all their good qualities must be a lie or a mask.

And that's not reflective of how complex people (and characters) really are. But it's a lot easier to deal with a character when we can sweep them into the 'I just don't like them' box or the 'I just like them and I don't see the bad stuff' box.

Temsen's good qualities are very real. He's dedicated his entire life to omega QOL improvements, and has created those tangible improvements in a dystopian universe. If he was a 'normal' peak alpha, he would have euthanased Efnisien the first day he arrived on site - maybe he would have raped him first. This is very very much a dystopian universe. I'm not going to try to convince you that he's 'good' because that's very simplistic, he does very good, and even heroic things, and he does very bad, and sometimes really awful things. These are just facts about him. And then it's up to other people to decide where their line is re: liking him or not.

In fact of all the characters we've met, Janusz has raped someone on the page and Gary has (re: Efnisien), we know Anton has historically for work, and Augus.

The only significant alpha who hasn't ever done this to omegas is actually Temsen.

The most important thing to me personally is that all Temsen has told you so far is speculative. He speculates that he would have raped Efnisien, but he actually saves his life. He speculates that he's not very kind, and then puts Efnisien first and sacrifices sleep for him to find articles that will make him more comfortable. (I would tender here that you're believing his hypotheticals over his repeated actions) He doesn't tolerate disrespect from an alpha, because that's how alpha rapists are created (he is stern with Efnisien because he's an alpha, because alphas who are allowed to disrespect others become like Gwyn or Christian or Vadim), but he accepts it often from omegas, who are vulnerable and need to learn how to speak up.

That's what's important to me! But I also think he's a dick, lol, and I like that about him. I don't need a character to be good or pure to love the shit out of them, and that's how I end up writing a world where almost every alpha is a rapist to some degree, and most folks still end up giving them a pass anyway, because the stories are fun and entertaining, and these people and world's aren't real.

TL;DR: Temsen is a complex character capable of healing, heroic, cruel and controlling actions, and I think you're cherry picking certain parts of his dialogue / actions to justify how you feel about him while missing others, which is absolutely your prerogative as a reader! But honestly, if you just don't like a character, or find them too dark, you don't need a reason for it - you can just not like 'em - feelings are the most irrational things we have, after all, and often resist logical justification. :D I'm not really trying to change your mind here tbh, feelings are feelings, but I am the kind of person who will point out the inconsistencies in a discussion, especially when invited to sdlkfjsa

#asks and answers #underline the black #underline the rainbow #ohlo ohlo temsen #but yeah the first thing we have to get out of the way is every alpha in this story is a rapist #by our standards #but their in-world standards it's different #like literally different #they don't see it that way - and they would struggle to see it that way #temsen is ironically one of the few who *does* see it that way #pia on characters #pia on characterisation #temsen is one of my favourite characters in this story because he is very polarising #and because i think he exists as a way of highlighting #how manipulative and strategic it was #to make a peak alpha the doctor of a rehabilitation facility #and let's never forget that this was ultimately *Gary's* decision #which he still stands by

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persmo · 6 months ago

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Not that last anon, but there are endogenic systems in the OSDDID community. There are systems who had trauma after their system already formed which can cause a dissociative disorder to develop. There's also like what I think that anon's case is, there are DID systems with endogenic headmates who are spiritual, thoughtforms, etc.

This especially goes for OSDD, which isn't even inherently a system disorder. OSDD is just a catchall in the DSM-V for disorders that don't fit DID, Dissociative Amnesia, or DPDR.

What you are doing is closer to gatekeeping in that sense. Even if you think their experiences are real, you are excluding systems from dissociative resources for something as arbitrary as origin that may not even impact how the system is now if the later trauma was severe enough.

This is also where a lot of fakeclaiming that targets OSDDID systems comes from. It starts with "we don't want endos in our community" then spirals into "this is how you spot an endo". This is how fictives started to be viewed as a faking red flag (the term "fictive" came from endogenic systems), too many nonhumans make you fake (endogenic systems and otherkin have a long lasting overlap), as well as knowing too much about your system (endogenic systems don't usually have dissociative barriers unless something happened later). Even if you aren't fakeclaiming explicitly, encouraging an origin binary and excluding endogenic systems does contribute to the problem that loops around and effects all systems.

Also there are a few cases where you can win a debate with a fakeclaimer. Some people are genuinely misinformed, and if you have the energy, ability, and sources, it can be worth to send a message to try.

Ok so, I know I already said and established that I wouldn't be answering anon things regarding this topic, but I need to clarify something cause, again, you didn't read correctly or you didn't get the point of our post/reply, so I'm gonna explain in detail every point your talking about in this message and also some extra things hoping that people would stop making themselves incorrect ideas about us and maybe do a purification regarding followers (Cause damn, we are getting a big hate even though we aren't famous or shit like that)

So please, if you really want to hate us and really want to know our stand read this whole and then comment or reblog-respond, because if you don't read it whole we're just gonna block you and don't count your opinion

First paragraph topic: Endos in the OSDDID community

I didn't talk about that topic, but you're bringing it out so I will now, and I hope that you and other people can understand my point in this. I know there are endos in the OSDDID community, I know there are cases in which someone has a dissociative identity disorder and also have plurality in some other way, if that's what you're trying to explain me well... You didn't explain anything that I didn't know already, with the last anon I said if their case is they having DID and also having a cultural-spiritual base plurality I know they exist and I don't fakeclaim them because they have OSDDID, so why would I fakeclaim them?

The specific point that I have it's the way they talk and/or present those parts that aren't because of the disorder, but I'm fakeclaiming those parts? Of course not, cause I know they're a different presenting way of plurality that have nothing to do with the disordered parts, and I won't talk about them because our speciality is disordered dissociated parts, not plural parts in general, also cause I don't know almost anything about the topic and, most importantly, don't know last anon case

So with this I hope I clarified this point, if not, tell me and I will explain (Like with every point, so this state applies to all)

Second paragraph: OSDD not being an inherently a system disorder

With this I have a lot to unpack cause we entered in our hyperfix and knowledge field. For this part I'm gonna do multiple paragraphs cause there's a lot to say and explain

First of all OSDD is a disorder, that's why it is in the DSM-5, I'm not sure if you claimed that OSDD is not a disorder or just is not a system disorder, so I clarify this just to make sure

Now, let's see what the DSM says about OSDD, ok?

The DSM V says:

The DSM V TR says:

Besides that info it's good to know that OSDD can be classified in various subtypes, 4 to be exact, and why it's important to clarify the 4 subtypes? Cause only one of this subtypes is capable of being a plural disorder this being OSDD-1 (This subtypes includes from OSDD-1a to OSDD-1d)

So if you're gonna say that OSDD isn't inherently a system disorder you're half correct, because it depends in the subtype you're seeing, if you're talking about OSDD-1 when it is, but if you're talking about OSDD as a whole and not seeing the subtypes, well you're right, and in this case when I talk about OSDDID community I talk only about OSDD-1, it's just that it's better and shorter to just say "OSDDID community" rather than "OSDD-1, P-DID and DID community" don't you think?

And for the OSDD being "just a catchall" for the other dissociative disorders... Well you're not completely right and let me explain. The OSDD stand for "Other Specified Dissociative Disorder", just in the name says it's for specifying other thing because it doesn't enter to the other criterias, and yes, that make OSDD a comodin like diagnosis, but if you read below that you'll find the UDD or "Unspecified Dissociative Disorder" and this diagnosis puts more info about dissociative disorders that doesn't fit in the other criteria including OSDD so even though OSDD can count as a catchall UDD too, and you're not talking about it

So with this information I hope I got clarified this point

Third paragraph: Gatekeeping and excluding

First I'm gonna address the gatekeeping thing.

If you're saying I'm gatekeeping by saying "endos DNI", then I am, because that's one of our boundaries, getting mad for someone else boundaries because it doesn't align with you it's horrible in my opinion.

If you're saying that I'm gatekeeping for excluding endos when I talk about systems and plurality in my blog, then I am, because this is a disordered aligned blog and I'm not gonna be talking about endos, and because a lot of endos want to make everything about themselves I don't want them to interact.

If you're saying I'm gatekeeping because I'm not talking about endos because I don't want, then I am.

If you're saying I'm gatekeeping because I exclude endos that are also disordered well you're wrong, I'm not doing that, if they want they can interact ONLY if they keep comments about them being endos away from our blog, I'm not saying they have to stop being endos cause they have a disorder, just that comments and things about being endo don't put them in our blog, outside our blog talk all you want about being endo cause we don't fucking care

It's just our preference, our boundarie, I don't get why people get mad about it when I'm not even attacking endos, damn we're not even anti-endo, we said it the last post and we'll repeat it. I hope this explains it because, from what I understand we're not gatekeeping nothing, we're just setting boundaries, and if you're mad for that is a you problem, not ours, but if we're gatekkeping please come and explain in detail how

Now about the exluding allegations... Simply we're not ???

I'm not excluding anyone from dissociative resources, I don't know were do you take that conclution, because from our words don't. We can't decide and stop every random from the internet and exclude them, that's imposible, we're not in position to exclude anyone

Again, if you have disordered plurality we don't care if you also have another kind of plurality, if you have disordered plurality and/or you experience maladaptive dissociation go ahead and use the resourses, after all the resourses are for people who strugle with complex dissociative disorders

But if you're not disorder nor experience maladaptive dissociation then why would you want to use resourses for people with CDD??? (No, I'm not counting neither Simply Plural nor Plural Kit in the dissociation resources because, one, their aren't resources just tools, and two, the creators said that SP and PK can be used for any reason that you please including disordered plurality)

If someone has a disordered plurality, a trauma disorder or a complex dissociative disorder then go ahed and use that resources, because the resourses are for you, we don't care if apart from that you have another type of plurality and if you do well good for you, you're still able to use that resources because one, I can't literally stop you, and two, the resources are for you

Fourth paragraph: Fakeclaiming (A binary excluding way and disordered targeting)

This is the most long paragraph you put so I'm gonna talk part by part just to make sure you don't miss any point at all

I don't understand what you mean by "This is also where a lot of fakeclaiming that targets OSDDID systems comes from", but if I'm getting it correctly you said that the exclusion and gatekeeping that I'm doing (Again, I'm not, but you're assuming and claiming I am) encourages the fakeclaimin towards OSDDID systems which in my opinion sounds dumb and let me explain why

Fakeclaiming is not a term that the plural community invented, fakeclaiming has been existing for years before that, but the use of the word was popularized by the plural community. Fakeclaiming disorders have been happening way back before the internet even existed, now a days fakeclaming has been evolving and having new stupid criteria to fakeclaim

Endos fakeclaiming, disordereds fakeclaiming, singlets fakeclaim, everyone fakeclaims, actual plural fakeclaming is mainly towards OSDDID systems and yes, some things of the fakeclaimings is because endo fakeclaiming, but the fakeclaiming to OSDDID has been existing way before the name change to DID/OSDD, the fakeclaiming criteria just evolved and changed

So yeah, for me saying that the fakeclaiming or at least a lot of fakeclaiming towards OSDDID systems come from endo exclusion seems dumb, but everyone has different ways of viewing this and I respect that, I'm just stating my opinion and view of things

Now, you can't say all OSDDID systems act the way you say, first saying that they don't want endos in the community and then making guides to spot endos, because if you're gonna generalize I'm gonna do it to with endos too. We don't do guides to spot endos because that obsessive, wrong and kinda sickly, we just don't care at all about that, endos sometimes say explicitly that they're endos and I believe them so I don't interact with them and sometimes block them, that's all, I don't think that's wrong if it's my prference

It is obvious that I cannot speak for the entire OSDDID community cause we're just some random system online, we're just talking about ourselves in this case. Do you know the amounts of OSDDID system that we have blocked because they're horrible? No, you don't, because you don't know us and our point of view in this topics, in reality we hate almost all the internet OSDDID community (generalizing)

You're explanation of what its seen like signs of faking is correct, and we actually can't say anything for that part, just to clarify that we know singlets that have never encountered the plural community nor plural things in the internet and do that fakeclaiming (we know it because they have done it to us), so no, it's not actually encouraged by the endo fakeclaiming/exclusion like you say

Now about the endo exclusion and binary origin. All that I'm gonna say in this point is about us and our point and stand of all this things, I'm not talking about the whole community, just for us, because to talk about the whole community another post

AGAIN, we're not excluding endos in general, in that case we're excluding all systems besides close friends. Saying that in this blog we don't want endos here is to be safe and prevent fights and things similar to this and other more horrible actions to our person becasue we don't feel comfortable with endos atacking us

In fact if we met endos that are opend minded, respectful, patient and have an attitude that we like we're not gonna exclude them, actually if they want we're more than willing to befriend them, so no, we don't exclude them

It's like neurodivegents prefering not to interact with neurotipicals, they're not excluding them, just they don't feel comfortable around them, but obviously if they found a neurotipical they like they'll can befriend them, we're in a similar position with endos

And in the same manner of exclusion it's the binary origin thing. We only care about origin when talking about our preference and experiences, it's like the cis and trans, it's a binary system about identity, but for some reason that is not offensive and this is?

Like I don't get your point, we're not excluding via origin because we're not doing it at all, pointing out the differences is important to recognize and understand the diversity around systems, and also know it to understand the subcategories and have personal preference, just like us

Again with the allegory, saying that neurotipicals and neurodivergents and different it's ok because even though the two are humans they have some differences and that's ok, and even with neurodivergents are subcategorys and some people may have preference to one or another, but that doesn't make them bad people because it's just a preferencem of course sometimes this can be related to discrimination and things like that, but not always, and when is about discrimination you will be a bad person, but if just for preference it's ok

And now with the last sentence, doing the exclusion (we don't, but you say we do) it's countribuiting to the problem that affects all systems, and here's when I ask how we're countibuting to doing harm to people?

We're not excluding, perpetuating harmful thoughts or points or view to others, we're just setting boundaries bassed in our preference, how we're countributing to harm around systems when we're not atacking no one and we're not doing any harm?, in fact are endos and pro-endos who are atacking us and are trying to make us the bad guy when we're not even mentioning them in a malicious way, damn we're not even a big account or something, we're just starting this blog and people already have us in a blacklist when we did nothing wrong, the only thing we did is have and set boundaries (that people keep breaking just to see cool or for some other reason) and respond attacks and comments against our person just because we don't have the same opinion

If we're gonna talk about problems that affect all systems let's do it, but do it in a right way, not making assumptions about someone and trying to prove some random point when you don't know if the person your talking to is in your side, sometimes remarking things in a condescending way when someone already agrees with you and claiming that they're something that they're not makes the person don't be in your side anymore

I'm not in the plural community as a whole nor in the system community as a whole, I'm not talking or saying things about systems in general, I'm just talking about OSDDID systems and the OSDDID community because for me that's comfortable, because I know about that topic, because that's my comfort zone, and if I'm a bad person and huting others just by having preferences, boundaries and prioritizing me without attacking anyone then I'm a bad person and I do hut people, but we're not and I don't get what's the fixation of people telling me that I'm that villain they're making up with their assumptions

Because if we're gonna talk about hurting others endos have hurt us A LOT way back we had our medical recognition of DID and knew the meaning of "system community", and if that's not a problem that affects all systems because I know that have happend to many OSDDID systems, that and some more horrible thing done by endos to disordered systems then I don't know what it is. But I'm not here to talk about the bad things endos have done because that's not the blog purpouse, because I'm not here to talk about endos, is the people that are making us talk about it and it seems a bit hypocrite to us

For this paragraph I have nothing to add, so again, if I didn't make myself clear or something like that you can tell me and I will clarify it

Last paragraph: Win debates with fakeclaimers

Yes, I'm aware sometimes fakeclaimers are just uninformed people and you can win the debate with them, but many of them just want to mock and attack people, specially within the OSDDID community, that's why I think is best just to block them and don't give them attention, and we made clear in our posts about fakeclaiming that it was our opinion, you don't have to agree with and that's ok

If you want to do a debate with a fakeclaimer go ahead, I respect your patience because I don't have that and you will be helping

We just give our opinion, we just stated our point of view, we don't have to be perfects like no one. And it's not like the post have a big reach, it doesn't even have 50 likes, so it's not like a lot of people is seeing it

Sometimes we do tend to debate with fakeclaimers and uninformed people in general, when we're in the mood and we have the sources and references in hand, we had won various debates because we're informed, but that experience also teached us that most of fakeclaimers don't even care about it so we made a post about that

Extra notes: Some other points not deeply talked about in this post

Ths post already extend so much that we see prudent to just stop it here, even though we have a lot more points to talk about and clarify. We're planning not only to update our intro to be more specific and so we can avoid problems like this in the future, but making some other post talking about various of the topics seen here and a bit more about our points of view

If you want us to clarify some points or things, ask us things or something like that go ahead adn will do it gladly, also, anon of this post we're be gratefull if you say something about this text we did for you

Like a extra note I'm gonna say in short words our stand with endos, we're oct-endo, in other post we're gonna expalin it deeply

That's all, if you read the whole thing thx and see you random people on internet :)

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