#someone please ask me about it I am desperate to info dump
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I’m sure everything is going to turn out fine :))
#ignore how messy these are i tried to clean them lol#I’m sure this action won’t have any devestating consequences#also first time posting the fox guy (I don’t have a name for him yet but I hate him(lovingly))#anyways actual lore for my au kinda???#someone please ask me about it I am desperate to info dump#I also kinda want to make a separate blog for it but idk lol#ps I did not forget the inhibitor rings ;)#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#tails the fox#unbreakable bond#sonic and tails#sonic oc#shadow the hedgehog#sonic au#dhmis au#sonic dhmis au#my doodles
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Sperm Donor
Info - unprotected sex, trying to get pregnant, jealousy, teasing, finger sucking, breeding kink, a little bit of hard Dom
“Positive?” Timothée asked Hopefully as I opened the bathroom door. I shook my head sadly.
Timothée and I had been married for five years. We had finally decided we were ready for kids. The issue was, I wasn’t getting pregnant. We had been trying since his birthday and nothing.
“No,” I sighed.
“Shit, I’m sorry baby,” Timothée said mournfully. He wrapped me in his arms and petted my hair.
“Maybe we should use a sperm donor,” I said jokingly.
“Excuse me?” Came the harsh response.
“Yeah, since you can’t get me pregnant,” I said casually. I could sense his jealousy and anger. For some reason, I wanted to poke this sleeping lion.
“Y/n,” Timothée growled. I secretly loved when he got this way.
“You jealous?” I asked. This was all I needed to say. I was thrown against the wall and kissed. I put my hands I. His hair and moaned.
He was stripping me all while one hand dove into my panties. He was rolling my bud of pleasure and I couldn’t help but jerk a couple times.
“Baby, I’m your husband,” he purred.
“But I’m not pregnant,” I responded just to get it rougher. He slapped my cunt.
“Are you saying you’re not grateful for my cum?” He asked.
“Load after load, but I’m not with child,” I said in a sing song voice. I knew this would piss him off. I was right. He threw me over his shoulder.
I was on the kitchen table, bare and displayed. Timothée was eating my pussy. His mouth was inside me. I was so wet and heady.
“You’re delicious, you sure I haven’t made you the bearer of my child?” He asked.
“Test says no,” I gasped out. Timothée made a face. He was on me in a second.
He entered me and began to fuck me like an animal. He was shoving his cock so deep inside me. He was even laughing. He was treasuring my desperation.
I lifted my legs and pressed them to my chest. He kept them there. He held my legs down. He kept fucking me wildly.
“You ask me if I’m jealous?” He asked as his long and hard cock was slamming into me.
“Of course I am. I am your fucking husband.”
“I-fuck, oh, fuck, Timothée,” I wailed.
“You want a sperm donor huh?” He asked me. I tried to answer but he shoved his fingers into my mouth. I suckled needily. My eyes rolled back in my head. He was going at me like an animal.
“As if you’d ever touch someone else’s sperm, you’re a fucking addict to me,” he chuckled darkly. I groaned. He took his hand away from my mouth.
“Mmmm, wanna suck,” I said in a pathetic voice.
“I thought you were thinking about sperm donors,” he teased me.
“Ah, ah, ah,” I gasped out. I couldn’t make words come out. I felt so good. I felt my toes curl. He lifted one of my legs so he could hit me at a deeper angle. My leg rested against his shoulder.
“Say it again. Say my sperm isn’t good enough,” he egged me on.
“Just, fuck, wanna be, oh shit, pregnant,” I squirmed.
“Oh you’ll be pregnant, I’m gonna breed this fucking cunt,” he growled and punctuated his words with thrusts. I was panting. Just those words leaving his mouth made me wetter.
“Breed,” I begged.
“That’s right princess,” he smirked.
“Breed me,” I pleaded.
“Yes darling,” he agreed. He bent over me and continued to slam in balls deep. He kissed me sloppily. Saliva was everywhere as our tongues met and caressed one another.
“Mmm, mmm, mmm,” I whined.
Timothée was massaging my sensitive breasts. His cock was buried inside me. I could feel him twitching as he possessively fucked me.
“What’s wrong with my sperm?” He whispered in my ear.
“Nothing, absolutely nothing,” I breathed.
“So you don’t mind if I dump my big load inside you?” He purred.
“Oh fuck, oh yes, please do it, breed me,” I moaned.
“Good girl!” He cried out. He began to shoot ropes and ropes deep inside my fertile womb. I was shaking with my own orgasm. We were both shaking and moaning as I was filled. He was still going, fucking his sperm further inside me. We were kissing again. I wrapped my legs around his waist so that he didn’t pull out.
“Let’s go again,” Timothée gasped. “Gotta fill you to bursting. I want to make you full.”
“Yes, make me round. Give me all your cum.”
Sure enough a couple days later I registered as pregnant. Timothée was so proud of himself he bred me all over again.
#timothee chalamet#reader insert#x reader#timothee fanfic#timothee chamalet#timothee x reader#timothee imagine#timothee x y/n#timothée chalamet#timothee x you#timothee smut#timothee chalamet smut#timothee chalamet x reader#timothée chamalet#timothée chalamet gifs#timothée angst#timothée chalamet smut#timothée x you#timothée imagine#timothée x reader#smut#timothee fluff#sperm donor
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It's A Work in Progress.
Context: This takes place after a few months of Law setting sail for the first time with Shachi, Bepo, and Penguin. They are a new pirate crew finding their way to the Grand Line. Desperate for funds, Law’s crew resort to kidnapping.
Info: fem/readerxLaw, kidnapping, 1st time meeting, slow-burn romance, multiple parts, cursing, mild threats of violence.
Chapter 1. The Kidnapping
Law paced his office as he waited for his crew to get back. Those fools! What are they thinking? Law fumed as he thought of the dressing down he would give to Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo.
The ship needed repairs from their recent escape from the Marines. Bepo had safely navigated the crew to an island where Shachi and Penguin could repair the ship.
The problem was that the parts needed to repair the ship took much of their savings and left the crew scheming for ways to make money fast. Someone mentioned kidnapping as a joke, which Law did not find amusing.
He thought he had made it clear that kidnapping and ransoming was a stupid way to get funds and the perfect way to get caught.
I am going to kill them after I torture them!
Law thought violently in his head as he paced his office. He couldn't leave the ship because he didn't fully trust the two newest members of his crew just yet. They had only been sailing with him for a month and a half.
The only thing the trio thought about was not to stage a kidnapping till they had successfully made most of the repairs on the ship and were in a different location. Still, it wouldn't be enough to keep their heads from rolling!
"Five more minutes." He muttered to himself. Law would give the trio five more minutes, and if they weren't back yet...
"Captain! Hey, Captain!"
Law took a deep breath as he heard both Penguin and Shachi's voices calling for him in unison. He didn't bother replying as he sat on his desk with his arms crossed. The pair entered the room with wide grins on their faces. They were so wrapped up in their success that they didn't notice the glare on Law's face.
"We did it! We actually pulled it off, and it was easier than we thought it would be!" Shachi said with pride.
"Yeah! I thought kidnapping a nobleman's daughter would be hard, but kidnapping a princess-"
"What."
Law didn't need to yell or raise his voice. As much as he despised Don Flamingo, he had learned habits from him that he found useful. One of them being tone of voice. Law didn't need to yell or raise his voice because that "what" was enough to show his displeasure.
Shachi and Penguin froze instantly and then noticed the glare Law was giving them. Law stared at them as they sweated and rethought their "great idea".
"Please tell me that you two did not just kidnap a princess just three days after we managed to escape the Marines and made repairs to the ship."
Shachi and Penguin both paled as they stayed quiet. Law sighed and thought quickly about how to make the situation work. If they already have the spoiled brat, then maybe they could try demanding money, or they could just dump her somewhere for her father to retrieve her.
"Where is she?" Law asked as he dropped the glare.
Shachi and Penguin instantly unfroze and realize that Bepo had not yet entered the room. Penguin ran to poke his head out the door and waved from Bepo to come in. Law sighed and rubbed his forehead. Obviously, they had planned to make a show of kidnapping a princess.
Penguin moved aside as Bepo hurried in with a woman kicking and making muffled screaming. If there was another reason why Law disliked kidnappings it would be the noise and dramatics of the victims. He watched patiently as Bepo set the woman on her feet and turned her to face him.
She was certainly dressed like a noblewoman, but something in her eyes and demeanor told him that he wasn't dealing with royalty. Okay, I might be able to work with this, Law thought to himself.
“Look, we're both not in an ideal situation here so I am giving you a chance to behave and cooperate with me. If you do, you might see your family again.”
The woman glared at him and internally Law rolled his eyes.
“Our polar bear will ungag you so you can answer my questions. If you scream, I will have you held underwater till you pass out. Don't test me on this.” Law’s eyes hardened as he said his threat.
Penguin and Shachi looked at each other uncomfortably but didn't say a word. The woman held her glare but seemed to understand the threat given to her. Law nodded to Bepo and the woman didn't scream (to Law’s relief) but she did express herself in a colorful way.
“You mother fuckers messed with the wrong noble family.” She said in a calm and eloquent voice.
Law’s skepticism seems to be correct. Most definitely not a princess.
Chapter 2
#trafalgar law#trafalgar law x y/n#trafalgar law x you#trafalgar law x reader#trafalgar one piece#law x y/n#law x you#law x reader#law op#law one piece#trafalgardwaterlaw#trafalgar d law x reader#one piece fanfiction#one piece x reader#op fanfic#trafalgar d water law#trafalgar d law x you#x reader
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Hi! Call me Nasa. All the cool kids are using pinned posts now. Here's my old about page.
If we are strangers to each other, please do not ask me to share your fundraiser. I will not share fundraisers from people I do not know.
Due to my own personal triggers, if you follow me from a blog that centers heavily on eating disorders, I will block you.
I'm 31. This blog is mostly sfw, but does occasionally contain adult-oriented content. If you are a minor following me, I expect you to block the "nsfw" tag so these posts are blocked, and to not interact with them. This blog also will occasionally contain graphic depictions of violence and blood.
I’m okay with anything I post being reblogged unless it’s tagged with “please don’t reblog” or some variation thereof.
If you don't want me to answer an ask publicly, please say so as I will usually do so. I am also open to private DMs. Anons are usually on and usually it's fine to ask me anything as long as it's genuine/in good faith, just put warnings ahead of anything explicit, suggestive, or potentially disturbing so my followers can be warned if I answer publicly.
I will tag things if you ask me to, as long as it's not too difficult to do so. I already tag commonly blocked things like nsfw, gore, and blood. I have also been asked to tag spiders, trypophobia, blood, and weed so I will do my best to remember.
I usually prefer to just dump all of my interests on one blog rather than side blogs, but I (sometimes) run @good-omens-classic @women-of-good-omens and @thisbutgoodomens. I own @audiomens which is an archive. @thistleposting is also my blog.
I'm a human. Read the URL.
My writing:
On writing hiatus as of 9/21/24
I write as a hobby. Most of my current writing is original works. Some of them have illustrations/visuals, but you are free to imagine the characters differently if you like. I welcome fanart, fanfiction, roleplaying asks, and collaborative worldbuilding, for anyone who feels so inclined. Just tag me so I can see! :)
Coming November 2025: Bonnie and Guy
Transmission Received: A short story in the Whumpboratory, coming Oct 15!
Most recent story updates:
8/29/24 Tinytopia Chapter 12: Monoculture
8/18/24 Desperate Daybreak Chapter 8
My AO3 page
Watch Your Step - An entomologist finds an injured fairy while out in the field. (The tag for posts about this story is #Watch Your Step) (Does not require reading anything beforehand) [Active]
Magnanimous Moonrise & Savage Sunset - A story about a vampire and a vampire hunter, told from dualing perspectives. (caution: graphic) (The tag for posts about this story is #MMSS) (Does not require reading anything beforehand but related to/inspired by another series) [Complete]
Desperate Daybreak - The direct sequel to Magnanimous Moonrise & Savage Sunset. (The tag for posts about this story is still #MMSS) [Active]
Click the readmore for more info about my writing, recent updates list, and what I'm currently working on!
K+J fanfic - here and here. This is fanfiction of someone else's whump series (caution: graphic) [complete]
K+J x MMSS - Crossover between my vampire story and K+J [on hold]
Older writings:
Good Omens fanfiction: I am no longer active in the good omens fandom, but all my fanfiction can be found on my blog under #my good omens fanfiction, or on my AO3 for easier reading. My longest and most elaborate, OC-heavy series is Your Own Side. Most of my GOmens fanfiction was written using book canon, before the TV show came out.
Miscellaneous original short stories
Story 1 | Story 2 | Story 3 | Story 4 | Story 5 | Story 6
Lost story I need to put up again: The Gamble
PS: Here is a link to my ko-fi if you want to tip!! ABSOLUTELY don’t feel obligated to tip though, just figured I’d put this here because I put a lot of work into my fic so I’d make it possible to tip if you wanted to, don’t feel guilty for not doing it, it’s just an option :)
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More select recent updates:
8/29/24 Tinytopia Chapter 12: Monoculture
8/18/24 Desperate Daybreak Chapter 8
7/16/24 Desperate Daybreak Chapter 7
7/7/24 Desperate Daybreak Chapter 6
7/4/24 Desperate Daybreak Chapter 5
6/30/24 Desperate Daybreak Chapter 4
6/28/24 Desperate Daybreak Chapter 3
6/22/24 Desperate Daybreak Chapter 2
5/25/24 Tinytopia Chapter 11: Bloodthirst (Part 3)
5/25/24 K&J x MMSS 4: Valen & Jim Part 7B
4/7/24 Savage Sunset Choose Your Own Adventure Finale
12/14/23 MMSS: Aftermath
12/2/23 Magnanimous Moonrise & Savage Sunset 29MS
-------------------------
Currently working on/coming next:
Tinytopia ch 12
Desperate Daybreak chapter 9
A big surprise about MMSS 👀
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PPS: i have been on tumblr for a WHILE (like since circa 2015) and this blog has gone through many phases. If you happen to stumble across any of my old posts that are not properly tagged, or contain something problematic or offensive, please send me a private DM so I can address it.
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2.- Glitch
AND I AM LATE TO MY OWN OROMT LIST WUUUUUU
Tbh I underestimated how much my writing has improved since my last monthly list, and therefore how much time I need to write.
But here is day two! On day five!
Pairings: Lomoceit
Summary: Logan was created with the purpose of providing humans with all the knowledge they needed. Unfortunately, his creator passed away before he was launched to the market, leaving him activated on his old house. His existence has been pretty boring since then. Until a cute couple moved next door.
—————————————————————————
Logan was looking out the window as usual. It was one of his usual activities since he didn't really have anything else to do, but today was different. There was a couple moving next door.
Logan had seen them go in and out of their new house for hours. It wasn't like he had anything else to do, and it didn't exactly get boring either. He was analyzing the way they walked, the way they carried boxes, and every movement they made. He was programmed for that after all.
It didn't take long for the sky to get dark so he started the “night shift” for the house. It only turned on all the lights and made sure the energy saving settings were off. He didn't know why he was still doing it since there was no one living in the house, but it helped him establish a routine.
A soft nuzzle against his legs snapped him out of his thoughts. Well, the house wasn't completely empty. Perhaps saying there were no humans living there was more adequate.
Logan kneeled down to pet the head of the house dog, Thomas. He knew dogs were quite affectionate creatures, especially this one, so pets were the way to go when trying to calm it down. “It is still not time for your dinner Thomas”, he reminded it “I’ll make sure to feed you as always. Do not worry about that.” Thomas only walked away in response, most likely to go take a nap or something.
Logan sighed and looked back out. Apparently the couple decided to stop for the day. It was logical, they must be tired from working all day after all. Still, Logan couldn't really understand why he was so disappointed he couldn't see them anymore. He would have to wait for tomorrow.
There was some movement on one of the windows from the neighbor's house. One of the humans pocked their head through the window and looked out, making direct eye contact with Logan. The human smiled widely and waved at him. Logan only stepped aside and closed the curtains of his own house. Having a relationship with a human wouldn't be a good idea.
Patton was unpacking his collection of snowglobes. The shelf above the chimney was the perfect spot! He was loving every single minute of unpacking and redecorating their new home. Him and Janus had taken a big step when they decided to move together, and Patton couldn't be happier.
Well, he could. Patton noticed his neighbor had been looking at them through their window. Janus would freak out, but Patton thought they just looked lonely. He really wanted to go and introduce himself but didn't have the chance, until now.
Janus was out looking for a job nearby, so Patton had the house all for himself. He had spent the previous days trying out their new kitchen and had plenty of pastries to offer to his neighbor. So Patton packed some cookies up on a nice gift bag and headed out of his house.
Patton rang the doorbell of his neighbor’s house and waited patiently for someone to answer. A couple of seconds passed and Patton decided to try again, still nothing. “Hello? Is anybody home?” He was starting to get a little bit desperate and started ringing the doorbell multiple times in a row.
A groan could be heard from the other side of the door before it opened. A tall and slim man wearing formal clothes stood in front of him “Good morning. I politely ask you to stop playing with my doorbell and go back to your own house.”
Patton smiled at them “Hello. I’m Patton, he/him pronouns,” he extended his hand towards him.
Logan raised an eyebrow and sighed. He took Patton's hand and gave a firm handshake “You may call me Logan, and I suppose pronouns are not quite suitable for me but I’m mostly referred to as a male.”
Patton blinked “so… he/they?”
Logan shrugged “however you want to adress me is fine for me. It's not really something I’ve thought about before.” Perhaps he could look more into it later.
“Well, whatever makes you comfortable then!” Patton nodded with a wide smile. He had never met someone so formal with their words like Logan. He reminded him of an old fashioned butler.
Logan nodded back slightly. “Now as I was saying.” He felt a gentle nudge on his legs as he asked Patton to leave once again.
Patton looked down and gasped. “You have a dog?!” He kneeled down to pet it happily.
Logan was taken aback by Patton ignoring him. He looked down at them “I do, theoretically. Thomas doesn't exactly belongs to me but I do serve as it's caregiver.”
“It's adorable. Is it a golden retriever?” Patton loved dogs. He loved all animals but was unfortunately allergic to cats so he couldn't get one. He was halfway through convincing Janus to get a dog though!
Logan shook his head a bit. “Thomas is a red golden retriever, you may notice a variation on the color of its fur.”
Patton nodded, “that makes sense. You're so lucky to have a cute dog like this one.” Patton chuckled softly as he kept petting Thomas.
Logan hummed, “I suppose I am. It does need a lot of physical activity and special diet needs, but I’ve managed to accommodate its necessities.”
Patton smiled softly, “sounds like fun! This good guy must have the time of his life going on walks.”
“Ah,” Logan pushed his glasses up, “not exactly. Neither Thomas nor I get out of this house. It can run around in the backyard and I make sure to keep it entertained. I also built a rather complicated machine that helps it keep the healthy levels of exercise it needs.”
Patton looked up at Logan with wide eyes “woah. Wait, you seriously never get out of your house?”
Logan shook his head “I don't.” As much as he wanted to 'info dump’ on Patton, his purpose and functionality must remain a secret until his official release to the public. “I am not quite fond of being outdoors.”
Patton frowned a bit. “Well, maybe we could go out one day!”
Logan blinked “Pardon?”
Patton stood back up and nodded with a smile. “We can take Thomathy for a walk, or just explore the neighborhood together! Oh! And I can bring my partner Janus! I’m sure you two will get along!”
That… surprisingly didn't sound bad? Logan hummed as he tried to understand why. “As uh, lovely as that sounds, I’m afraid it won't be possible.”
Patton's smile dropped “oh, it's alright. I guess we can come visit again sometime then?”
Logan thought for a bit, having humans around wasn't a good idea. He wasn't supposed to be interacting with anyone without the host’s permission in the first place, but he knew he wasn't going to get it either way. “That can be possible.”
Patton’s smile returned, and Logan couldn't help but smile back at that. “Sounds like a plan then! Should I uh… give you my number?”
“You can. Just tell it to me and I’ll memorize it to call you later.”
Patton nodded and did that. “Then I’ll be seeing you and Thomas soon!” Patton gave one last pet to the dog. “Oh! And I almost forgot!” He handed Logan the bag of cookies, “I backed these earlier in the week but they're still good and I figured I could share some with you!”
Logan took the bag, he couldn't eat but it was just an act of courtesy. “Thank you Patton. We’ll be pleased to have you around again”
And with that, Patton made his way back home. He waved at Logan as he walked away.
Logan waved back and instructed Thomas to go back inside the house before closing the door behind them. He looked down at the cookies with a small smile. He felt something warm on his chest… and then it became pain.
Logan groaned and rubbed his head. He looked at his hand as it started glitching. The censor on the ceiling started beeping. “Thomas, I need to inactivate myself.” He walked to the living room and left the cookies on the coffee table. “I’ll be back to feed you.” Logan looked up at the censor and his physical form pixelated away until he disappeared completely.
Logan hadn't had any manteinece whatsoever since his creator passed away. He hadn't had any issues until now. Did it have anything to do with Patton visiting? Either way, he needed to rest and let the system analyze him.
Patton took the batch of cookies out of the oven just in time. They would be heading to Logan’s house to hang out soon and he figured he would bake for him again.
Janus wasn’t as excited as his boyfriend. “Are you sure this Logan guy wants me there?”
“Of course!” Patton nodded, “he never said you couldn’t come.”
Janus sighed, “that still doesn’t mean I’m welcome in his house.”
Patton took off his oven mittens and looked over at his partner. “Come on Jan, we need to meet new people. You haven’t been that friendly with your coworkers.”
“They keep misgendering me.” Janus defended themselves, “I don’t want to be friends with people that can’t do something as simple as respecting pronouns.”
“I do not believe there’s not a single person in that office that uses they/them for you” Patton walked closer to them as they talked. He took their hands. “I know you don’t like new people, but I already did half the work for you,” he chuckled a bit. “Logan is not a complete stranger, and he sounds smart! You could probably talk about techy stuff.”
Janus rolled their eyes a bit at Patton. “Fine, just because you say he’s nice.”
Patton smiled and gave Janus a quick kiss “I promise, we’ll have a fun time!”
Logan was freaking out. Not only was his glitch getting worse no matter how many times the system told him there were no errors, but his creator’s family finally found out he was dead.
Based on the information they shared with him, they weren’t really close to their family and they thought they were crazy for trying to be an inventor. It was no surprise for Logan that it took them weeks to hear the news, but he wasn’t expecting them to want the house either.
Logan didn’t know how, but he was scared. Those people visited early and even called a shelter to come and take Thomas with them. They weren’t even going to keep it! Logan was able to call them and cancel of course. One of his assigned tasks was to take care of the house dog.
If, no, when they manage to move in it’s not going to take them long to find out the censors around the house are apparently doing nothing and then they would get rid of them. The probabilities of Logan ending up in the trash was 85.6%. The other 14.4% were the probabilities of him being recycled.
They left about an hour ago but Logan didn’t know what to do. Those humans were… dumb, for the lack of a better word. They were used to farm life and most likely knew nothing about technology. Even if Logan revealed himself to them, they would be useless, maybe even a burden, taking care of him.
The doorbell rang, shit. With everything that happened, Logan forgot about Patton and Janus’ visit. Well he didn’t forget, but his processing system didn’t categorize it as a priority. Logan took a deep breath as if he needed oxygen and hoped he wouldn’t glitch while they were here. He would kick them out, but he was really looking forward to hanging out with them for some reason.
Logan opened the door and offered them a warm smile. “Good evening, it’s a pleasure to have you both here.”
Patton smiled back at him “Thank you for inviting us Logan.”
“You’re welcome.” Logan nodded slightly and stepped aside “you can come in.”
Patton nodded and walked inside hand in hand with Janus. Thomas ran to them excitedly and almost tackled Patton. “Woah there,” he chuckled, “it’s nice to see you too buddy.”
Janus held the bag of cookies so Patton could pet the dog. They smiled a bit at it and looked back at Logan. “I’m Janus, they/them pronouns.”
Logan nodded “It’s nice to finally meet you. Patton mentioned you in the little time we talked the other day.”
Patton blushed slightly and chuckled. “Well, they are the love of my life after all.”
Janus blushed darkly and gave Patton’s foot a slight kick.
Logan looked between them as he tried to analyze the situation. There was no way of making it less awkward but he was still going to try. “Would you like to go outside? There’s a back porch with a small living room where we can spend some time, and Thomas would get to run around and play with you if you want.”
“Sounds good to me!” Patton nodded. Thomas had gotten off him as soon as it heard ‘outside’.
Janus nodded in agreement “As long as there’s not any mosquitos attacking me.”
“The porch has an anti-bug system installed as well as a radiator and plenty of lighting in case the evening gets too cold,” Logan explained. “I can guarantee there won’t be any mosquitoes bugging us.”
Patton snorted at the joke and Janus rolled their eyes. “Great, you found someone with the same licking for dad jokes Patt.”
Logan raised an eyebrow, “I don’t think I understand.”
“Mosquitoes, bugging us.” Patton tried to explain, “don’t tell me the joke wasn’t intentional.”
Logan recalled his words in his mind and finally understood. “Ah, no, I’m afraid it wasn’t. But I can certainly make some jokes if those are of your liking.”
Patton smirked, “oh please. I love Janus’ annoyed face every time I make one” he chuckled and kissed his partner’s cheek.
Logan didn’t know what it was, but it didn’t feel quite right to see Patton and Janus interacting as a couple. He was well aware they were dating and all but seeing them being so affectionate with each other made him feel… glitchy. “Why don’t you go ahead while I put those aside?” He looked at the bag of cookies on Janus’ hands, “just go all the way down the hallway and you will see a clear door.”
Janus nodded a bit and handed the cookies to Logan before walking away, Patton and Thomas following behind them.
Logan hurried to the kitchen and closed the door behind him. He started to glitch again, the bag going through his hands and falling to the floor. This was bad, he couldn’t let Patton or Janus see him like this. He picked up the cookies and left them in the pantry next to the previous batch Patton gave him, which remained untouched, and went outside with the humans.
Things were going surprisingly well. Logan got the chance to get to know the couple better and even talk to Janus alone while Patton was in the bathroom. He hadn’t glitched again and was having a really fun time with them. Everything was perfect, but of course, it didn’t last long.
Logan’s sensors detected a car parking in front of the house. The same car that had been there earlier, oh no. Logan excused himself to go look outside, only to confirm that those humans were in fact his creator’s family again. Logan started one of the security protocols of the house and locked the doors. He had to figure out how to get Patton and Janus out of the house.
To make things even worse, Logan started glitching again. He was running out of time! His systems must definitely be overheating right now. He held down his glitches and would try to repress them as much as he could. He went back outside “Alright, I’m going to have to be completely honest with you two now.”
Patton looked at him with a confused look “What’s wrong?”
“I am going to explain everything that is going on, but you are going to have to trust me. There’s some people trying to come inside the house. We can’t let them know we’re here.” Logan tapped a specific spot on the ground and the coffee table rose up revealing a staircase going down into the ground. “No one knows about this place, we’ll be safe if we go down there.”
Janus stood up and pulled Patton with them. “What?! You seriously can’t expect us to go in there.”
Logan had started the ‘sleeping mode' on the house and the lights inside turned off. “Please. I am well aware that we don’t really know each other, and you have absolutely no reason to trust me. But I don’t want you to get in trouble within your first month of living here.”
Patton looked inside as the lights went off, them at the secret entrance, and then at his partner. “We have to Jan.”
“No we don’t. He could be trying to kill us or something,” Janus pulled Patton away. “We’re leaving.” They were about to open the door to go back in when they heard footsteps from the inside and stepped back. They looked at Patton, who gave them a reassuring nod. They sighed ��fine, but I swear if you try anything sketchy.”
“I won’t. This is merely for your safety.” Logan made a hand movement towards the stairs, instructing Thomas to go down.
The humans gave each other one last look before going down as well. Logan followed them and made the entrance close behind them.
Downstairs was a secret bunker his creator made in case of an emergency. It was equipped with one of Logan’s sensors, tools in case he needed fixing, food and water for humans and dogs, and Logan’s ‘heart’. It wasn’t really a heart of course, it was just a large cpu that contained all his programming and archives.
Janus looked around the room, focusing on the cpu as they admired how advanced it was. “What is this place?”
“A bunker, technically.” Logan knew it wasn't able to protect humans from all natural or human created disasters, but it definitely made the chances of survival bigger.
“Alright, and why did we have to come down here then? Who are those people?” Janus was getting quite defensive. Logan was nice and all but this situation made them feel like their safety was at risk.
Logan let out a sigh. “I promised I would explain.” He stood under his sensor and looked up at it. “This house is not my property. All of this belonged to my creator.”
Patton raised an eyebrow. “Your creator? You mean your parent?”
“If you would like to see it that way.” Logan had never thought about it like that. “The thing is, I am not human. I am a virtual home assistant. There are censors all around the house that allow me to materialize in a room and control the different electronic devices such as lights or security systems. I was created to help humans with their daily tasks through the day, as well as provide knowledge about any subject of interest. What I do not know I can learn through the internet.
Patton and Janus looked at each other as Logan explained. Janus let out a dry chuckle “so you’re like Siri.”
Logan winced, “please don't call me that. Siri is not as advanced as myself and it's obsolete in comparison.” He fixed his glasses and spoke quite proudly.
Patton couldn't help but chuckle at that. He let go of Janus’ hand and walked closer to Logan. “You're a hologram then?”
“Not exactly. Every molecule of my body is digitalized but I do possess a physical form.” Logan reached to grab Patton's hand. “I am able to touch and interact with other physical stuff around me as long as I’m activated. There's also a setting that keeps me in ‘voice mode’ just like other virtual assistants.”
Patton intertwined his fingers with Logan’s “and you're here all alone? Well, with Thomas.”
Logan looked down at their hands and nodded, “I am. My creator passed away not that long ago, but their family just found out about it.” He glitched, making his fingers go through Patton's. “The censors in the house are the only thing that keep me… alive, in a way. If those people move here and don't uninstall them properly-”
“You disappear,” Janus interrupted them. “And even if they don't, without someone checking your systems, you'll keep failing.”
Logan nodded and glitched again. “There must be some kind of error on my program but I'm not being able to detect it.” He walked to his cpu, “the only thing I know is that it started when Patton first visited.”
Patton walked back to Janus, “you can fix him!”
“What? Me? Why should I? We barely even know him and I wouldn't even be able to decipher his code without any sort of help from the developer,” Janus explained.
Patton sighed, “we can't just leave Logan to die.”
“I wouldn't die, I would just cease to exist,” Logan looked back at them. “My creator had several journals where he explained all the process of my development. All the information needed for me to function is here,” he tapped the cpu a couple of times.
“Please Jan.” Patton took his partner’s hands and squeezed them, “we can't just do nothing. I would do it myself but I know nothing about computers and programming and all that stuff you do.”
Janus looked at between Logan and Patton, they sighed. “Fine, but it’s going to take time. I’m not completely sure when I’ll be able to activate you again. We would have to take the cpu to our house as well as the censors and install them there.
Logan nodded, “I understand. The cpu itself it’s enough to have me active on a monitor, so I’ll be able to guide you through the whole process. We can get started as soon as the people upstairs leave.”
And they did. Patton and Janus managed to move the cpu to their home and connect it to their computer. A digital version of Logan lived on the screen and he was still able to communicate with the humans. Besides working on getting Logan’s physical form back, they started doing more hanging up nights. They got to know each other better, but that only seemed to make Logan’s errors worse.
Janus made some significant progress and was able to activate a mini Logan using their phone as a sensor. He was even able to walk around the desk freely. But they still couldn’t find the cause of the glitching.
Patton made sure to help with what he could. He took care of Thomas, who was now living as their dog, and made sure Janus didn’t overwork.
During one of the many casual talks Janus and Logan had, the topic of pronouns came up. “How did you know you wanted to go by they/them?”
Janus shrugged, “It’s not really something like a big revelation or something. I just came across the non-binary label and different sets of pronouns, they/them just sounds right.”
Logan hummed. He had gone through all the articles he could find online about the topic and still didn’t fully understand. “Would it make sense for me to use them? I do not really have a gender and I’ve been thinking about that since Patton introduced himself. My physical form can be altered through my code and I don’t know how being a boy or a girl feels like.” He started rambling about his worries. Did he want this only because it was logical?
Janus listened as they kept working, they eventually stopped to look at the small assistant sitting on their desk. “If you want to try it, go ahead. It’s not a bad thing to change your label or how you want people to refer to you as you discover more about yourself. You become more sentient with every new code and every upgrade you get. I suppose it resembles your growth, not as an artificial intelligence, but as a person.”
Logan looked up at them, “that… makes sense…” He glitched, and an idea came to his, their? Their mind, “that’s it!.” Logan stood up and walked to Janus’ phone to go back into the monitor. They looked through the codes until they found what they were looking for. “I become more sentient with every upgrade, but I haven’t been upgraded in months,” they looked at Janus through the screen. “Somehow I was able to develop a wider range of emotions, more than the original intent. I’ve become more advanced than my last upgrade.”
Janus’ eyes went wide as they understood what Logan was saying, “you need an upgrade, one that allows your system to process those emotions as part of you and not as an error.”
Logan nodded, “exactly. Do you think you can do it?”
“Well, we’ve come this far. I’m sure an upgrade won’t be as hard as it sounds.”
Logan chuckled a bit and looked back at their codes. “You know, I do want to try going by they/them pronouns. The agender label sounds like the most accurate for me.”
Janus smiled softly and tapped the screen with one finger. “Welcome to the club then.”
Logan looked back at him and placed their hand on Janus’ finger. They smiled and glitched again as that warm feeling on his chest returned.
“Are you ready Patt?”
Patton bounced on his feet with excitement, he had Thomas running around him. “I am! Come on come ooon! Activate them!”
Janus chuckled and kissed Patton’s cheek. “Patton, darling, I present to you,” they tried to reach up to activate the sensor but underestimated how tall the ceiling was. “Oh come on!”
Patton held back a laugh and grabbed his partner under their armpits to lift them up. “There you go!”
Janus yelped and blushed, “this is the last time I let you pick me up…” They both knew that wasn’t true, but Patton would let them think it was. “As I was saying, I present to you” they turned the sensor on.
It glowed with a dark blue light and projected a beam of light under it. Several pixels appeared and fused together until Logan’s physical form was completed. “L.O.G.A.N 6.4!”
Logan opened their eyes and let them adjust to the light in the room. Their scanners recognized Janus and Patton as the new hosts, and Thomas as the house dog. “Greetings, your L.O.G.A.N 6.4 has been successfully upgraded and activated, please wait for previous data to download completely.” Logan stood still as they finished their upgrading process. They blinked once they were ready.
“Logan?” Patton walked closer to them, a bit worried something went wrong and they went back to default mode.
Logan smiled softly, “it’s me, hello Patton”
Patton squealed and hugged Logan tightly. “It worked! It really worked!”
Janus joined the group hug happily. “It’s so nice to have you back Lo.”
Logan wrapped their arms around the humans with a slight blush. They didn’t glitch this time, not that it surprised them since they fixed that issue, but it felt different than they expected it to feel. “It’s nice to be back.”
Their systems weren’t able to fully comprehend every emotion just yet, but Logan was sure of something. They never wanted to live alone again. No, they never wanted to live without Janus and Patton again.
#sanders sides#sanders sides fanfiction#sanders sides fic#my writing#lexy writes#october prompt list 2021#logan sanders#patton sanders#janus sanders#logic sanders#morality sanders#deciet sanders#partially gt(?#sanders sides au#lomoceit#loceit#moceit#logicality#thomas sanders#thomas is a dog-#tw: mentions of death
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deja vu
in which harry gets a new girlfriend and it’s giving him major deja vu.
angst ! fluff ! all of the above ! feedback is welcome as always <3 based off of the wonderful song, deja vu by olivia rodrigo!!
“Well, maybe we should end it”
Harry suggested and Y/N froze. end it? why is that even something that came into his mind. It was a small, petty fight about a girl. A nice girl that Y/N is apparently jealous of, she’s not by the way. The girl just is the a little too close to her boyfriend, hugging him and kissing him on the cheek when she thinks Y/N isn’t watching them. And harry just sits there, let’s her do that while Y/N his girlfriend of three years is sitting right in front of them. Never did he bitch about her or complain, just compliments for the nice girl at the party.
“W...What?” Y/N stuttered sitting on the hood of the car. The car they bought together. They both worked at an ice cream place down in town, so with the little money they both had and a little support from their parents, they both this beauty. Of course, harry was the only one able to drive it for a whole year because poor Y/N didn’t have her drivers license yet.
“I think we should end it, this” Harry said pointing between himself and Y/N. Her eyes began to fill with tears and the guilt hit him quickly.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. But i just can’t do this back and forth thing anymore. We’re not in middle school” Harry said and sniffled a bit. Y/N nodded, she had sort of know someone like harry wouldn’t stay with someone like her for that long anyways. It’s just apart of life, right?
Right?
“You can keep the car. I’ll find some other way to get into work” Harry mumbled handing Y/N the keys to their shared car. Her eyes widen and anger surged through her veins.
“How dare you” Y/N yelled, a sob coming out of her mouth. “You’re dumping me? you’re fucking dumping me?” she yelled out and that attracted some stares. They were in their place, their special place in Malibu under the stars and near the beach. That’s all theirs.
“You flirt with this girl for a year of our relationship. you do it right infront of me, harry! and you can’t handle it anymore?” Y/N exclaimed and harry sighed, looking slightly embarrassed as more people started to watch them. “Fine, fuck go be with her! i don’t care” Y/N said wiping the tears off of her cheeks and getting into the car.
“Goodbye, harry”
And a couple of weeks later, harry was with that nice girl. That pretty girl, who was a carbon copy of you - harry figured that out pretty quickly, when they got to know each other more.
They were watching reruns of glee when he got this moment of deja vu. Like he had done this before.
Because he had. With Y/N.
“I love this show” Y/N giggled, her hand in harrys hair. Harry nodded agreeing as they watched the new directions so a performance again, this time tina and mercedes were leading the group.
“Y’know you don’t have to pretend to like it, we can change the channel if you want?” Y/N offered and Harry shook his head quickly and blushed. “No, i like it. Could make a good band name, no? New direction, one direction?” Harry teased and you giggled.
“Huh. You’re more of gleek than i am”
“i hate this show” The nice girl said changing the channel, before harry could speak up. Instead of disagreeing with her, he just nodded and kissed the side of her head. He liked glee.
Other times of this deja vu stuff, it was really honest mistakes. Like, nearly calling her Y/N’s name. You were just on his mind, it was nothing serious. He missed the car, that’s all. He also missed the strawberry ice cream and the late night chats under the malibu sky. So he took her there. He put billy joels, ‘uptown girl’ on the radio and grinned when she sang to it. She wasn’t as care free as Y/N though. Y/N had her own shrine of billy joel, her dad is absolutely obsessed with the man and passed that on to Y/N.
Of course, harry had heard of billy joel but had only listened to his most famous songs. Y/N introduced to him to the real billy joel, it was their thing. Listening to billy joel in Y/N’s basement after a long shift, harry would lay his head on her stomach as Y/N sang to vienna or sometimes harry would pull her up and dance around to piano man. He missed that so much.
The chorus of ‘uptown girl’ came on and harry looked over at the nice girl, he now calls his own.
“I love you” He said and she stopped singing and placed a hand on his knee.
Y/N did that. Had her hands all over him.
“I love you too” The nice girl hummed and Harry sighed, now getting another sense of deja vu.
“Did you see Harry and that girl together, Y/N?” Sarah, her new shift buddy asked. Y/N had seen them together, the nice girl that harrys with likes to post everything on social media. Y/N sees the traded jackets, the billy joel, the i love you’s in malibu, the strawberry ice cream. Y/N wondered if the girl laughed at harry because of how annoying he was during glee, or when he puts a jacket on way too small for him, or when they sing in the car. Does he steal Y/N jokes, like he stole everything else?
“Yeah, i did. Seem like a nice couple” Y/N said with a smile. Sarah, only knowing her a couple days, thought nothing of it. Y/N was breaking inside, she literally felt her heart break in two everytime she thought of the two.
How could harry just replace Y/N like that?
“I’d like to be an actress” The nice girl said licking her strawberry ice cream. Harrys eyes widened, deja vu. Y/N had told him, just before they started dating that she was going to be the next meryl streep - why she chose meryl streep, he’ll never know. Y/N has always wanted to be an actress. She had done a few jobs here and there, and always got the main part in plays and musicals. Being an actress is Y/N’s things.
“That’s great” Harry said supporting a forced grin. The nice girl didn’t think anything of it. Y/N wouldn’t known something was wrong.
A different girl, but nothings new.
Harry had to get away. Away from the nice girl who had ruined Y/N and Harrys relationship. So he went to the ice cream parlour. He knew Y/N was working with sarah, mitch is one of his closest friends and he’s dating sarah — so after some digging and prodding, he got the info he needed and set off to town. Without her. Harry dropped her off at her apartment, made up some lame excuse of not feeling well and needed to rest. Y/N would’ve offered soup, the nice girl just said get well soon and closed the apartment door in his face. It was too easy. It shouldn’t be that easy to lie to her, it was never like that with Y/N. Harry couldn’t lie to Y/N for the life of him, even around birthdays or christmas. He sucked at keeping secrets and telling fibs.
“Welcome to All things nice, how may i help you!” Y/N’s voice rang out as she was cleaning out the sink. The bell had notified her, that a customer was in the shop. She just didn’t know that customer was her ex boyfriend.
“Are we able to talk?” Harry asked wringing his hands. Y/N quickly turned around, almost bashing her head into the shelf. Her eyes were wide and her heart broke, again. She could barley handle the instagram posts. She can’t handle harry in real life. Not after what he did. Maybe if it was a mutual break up - but it really was not a mutual break up.
“I’m sorry, we don’t serve that” Y/N snapped pushing the spoons into a drawer. Harry flinched and nodded placing his hands in his back pockets. “Ok, i deserved that” he mumbled. He just needed to explain, just five minutes.
“Please, Y/N. i just need to explain” Harry pleaded, sounding proper desperate. Y/N couldn’t help but feel anger and sadness as she listened to harry beg for her time. She just couldn’t believe he was back so quick, so early in his new relationship.
“What do you possibly need to explain” Y/N asked dropping the spoons and looking at harry over the ice cream. It was rather cliche, really.
“You dumped me, because i pointed out that a girl - by the way, i was right - was coming onto you. I just needed reassurance, harry. That you wouldn’t cheat, that you wouldn’t leave me!” you exclaimed and harry nodded. “I just needed that. and i’m really glad that you dumped me. because we obviously weren’t meant for each other” Y/N said continuing her clean up.
“We are meant to be” Harry said. “We’re Y/N and harry” he said, his voice breaking. Y/N almost felt bad.
“No. You’re in a relationship. You say i love you, to her. You sing billy joel and swap jackets. You eat strawberry ice cream with her for fuck sakes harry” Y/N yelled, pulling at her hair. Harry sniffled and nodded. “I know, I know” he mumbled.
“Do you get deja vu?” Y/N asked “hmm?” she asked again when she didn’t get an answer.
“Thought so”
#harry styles#harry styles one shots#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles angst imagine#harry styles fluff imagine#harry styles x ofc#harry x you#harry x y/n#harry styles x y/n#harry styles headcannon#harry styles concepts#harry styles asks#harry styles requests
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Exorbitant
Member: Kim Seokjin
Synopsis: After being dumped by his long time girlfriend, Jin has given up on love. When his friend sets him up with a classmate, Jin thinks things have just turned in his favor. He’s in love, he’s certain. SO why is he being left on read?
Warning: Yandere themes
Headline: Stalker Sent Crush 159,000 After One Date And Threatened To Make Sushi From Kidneys
Admin: @chimchimsauce
The restaurant is fancy. Perhaps too fancy for a first date. There are glad chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and wall to wall fish tanks filled with all the fish to be slaughtered. The lighting is dim and people are quiet, only the sound of bubbling tanks in Seokjin’s ears.
Maybe this was a bad idea. After all, a year isn’t too long to still be hung up on someone is it? Is it?
Deep down he knows that it’s time to move on. Lana made it very clear to him that she never cared for him at all , and was only with him because he was in medical school. But Seokjin was entirely blinded. Lana was so beautiful that her coldness did not faze him, did not cause any alarm bells to go off in his head even when his friends warned him that she was no good. It caught him by complete surprise when he came home early one day and saw her in the midst of cheating, with one of her male friends she told him not to worry about.
He’d been in tears but Lana didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed. All she did was roll her eyes and pull the covers tight around her body, sending her man out the door and telling him that she’d meet him in a second while Seokjin lay on the floor sobbing.
It’s embarrassing every time he thinks about it. Seokjin was content to die alone, no longer believing in love. After many months of his moping, Seokjin’s childhood friend Jungkook convinced him to get back into the dating scene.
“Come on, hyung,” Jungkook said to him one day after knocking on his door to find Seokjin still in his pajamas, “This is getting sad.”
“I am sad, Jungkook,” Jin said, “My heart has been shattered.”
Seokjin slumped even further down in his chair. His mother would be furious if she saw his awful posture.
“Lana isn’t worth all this. She’s already moved onto her next victim. It’s been months, hyung! Months! You are much too good looking, young, and rich to be giving up on life this soon. Why don’t you at least try dating?”
“I don’t know, Jungkook . . .” Seokjin said, hesitant.
“I know this really nice girl in one of my classes. She saw you pick me up last week and asked about you.”
“That’s nice, Jungkook, but I’m really not -”
“I kind of already gave her your number,” Jungkook interrupts, a bashful smile on his face.
“Jungkook!” Seokjin scolds.
“I’m sorry!” Jungkook says, tossing his hands in the air, “But she’s really sweet! And pretty! And you’ve been so lonely lately, it’s bringing everyone down. Just give her a shot, hyung, please. For my snake.”
Jungkook hits Seokjin with those infamous puppy dog eyes he always gets his way with. And just like always, Seokjin relents.
“Fine!” Seokjin says, “But if I don’t like her, I don’t want you to bring it up again!”
“Deal!” Jungkook says, locking his pinky around the older man’s even though they both know he’s lying.
Later that evening, after Jungkook left Seokjin’s apartment, Jin gets a text from an unknown number.
Unknown: Hey! This is Seokjin, right? Jungkook gave me your number.
Unknown: I hope that’s okay
Unknown: I’m YN
Jin frowned, looking at his phone. Does he really have to answer? If he ghosts her, this YN chick will probably tell Jungkook. Deciding to play along, at least for a little while, he replies.
Me: Hey!
Me: Yeah, this is Seokjin. Kookie told me he gave you my number.
Unknown: Kookie? That’s such a cute nickname haha.
Unknown: Have you guys been friends for long?
Me: Ever since we were younger. His older brother was in my grade.
And just like that, interest sparks. The two of them don’t text much for the first couple of days but soon it evolves to being on the phone for hours. They send memes back and forth and have long discussions about their favorite shows. For the first time in a long while, everything doesn’t seem quite so awful.
Seokjin snaps out of his thoughts, looking at his phone.
Did YN stand him up? She was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago. Maybe she doesn’t like sushi. Maybe she was just playing with him. Maybe this is some elaborate prank played by her and Jungkook.
Seokjin thinks he’s going to be sick. He should have known better.
“Sorry I’m late!” A familiar voice calls.
Seokjin looks up and is faced with one of the prettiest girls he’s ever seen. Even though her hair and outfit look a little untidy, she’s absolutely gorgeous.
“I wasn’t waiting long,” Seokjin mutters, lying.
He’s captivated. He’s seen her picture several times but it’s another thing altogether to see her in person.
“Really?” YN asks, sliding into the booth across from him, “I’m glad! The bus broke down on the way here and I didn’t have any signal so I couldn’t tell you. I was worried that you thought I’d ditched you.”
“Oh, no,” Seokjin says, shaking his head, “I figured you were just a little behind.”
He laughs nervously. He hadn’t really expected things to go so far. He’s actually on a date.
“I’m glad!” YN says, straightening herself out a bit, “I’d never leave you hanging like that.”
Jin smiles.
“So,” YN says, grabbing the menu, “Have you been here before? Any recommendations?”
“This is the first time I’ve been here too,” Jin admits.
“Let’s get something different and then share,” YN suggests.
“That sounds good.”
As they look through and make their decisions, Jin can’t help but stare at her. He’s really pretty, from her face to the clothes she wears. She’s so opposite of Lana. Where Lana was stiff, YN looks relaxed and easy going.
“Is everything okay?” YN asks him, placing her menu down on the table.
“Yeah, sorry,” Jin says, “You’re just so pretty.”
YN blushes, a shy smile on her face.
“Thank you. You’re really handsome, Jin.”
His ego is now boosted. For the longest time, Jin wondered if maybe Lana dumped him because she wasn’t attracted to him. Maybe she left because he was ugly.
He can tell that YN isn’t lying. She’s so bright and honest.
“Did you decide what you wanted?” he asks her, not wanting to stare at her again and possibly make her uncomfortable.
“I’m getting the Tiger Roll,” YN says.
“I’ll get the Dynamite Roll,” Jin says a few moments later.
With their order placed, conversation flows naturally. YN talks about her family and her childhood and listens intently when Jin talks about his. In just this one date, Jin has learned so much more about YN then he ever did Lana.
And the sushi is delicious. It’s the best thing he’s ever eaten, even. Or maybe it’s just her.
When the plates have been cleaned and the bill has been presented, Jin offers to pick it up.
“Are you sure? I don’t mind splitting it,” YN says.
“Absolutely. I’d love to,” Jin says, trying his hardest to be gentlemanly.
YN smiles at him and he swears his heart stops.
“I really appreciate it,” YN says, standing up and brushing off her outfit, “This was fun.”
“Would you like to eat out again next week?” he asks her.
“I’ll have to see what my schedule looks like,” YN says.
The two of them make their way to the exit. Jin holds the door open for her.
“Make sure you let me know!” Jin says, hoping she doesn’t sound too eager.
“I will,” she says.
The moment is a little awkward. Jin wants to lean in to kiss her but she takes a small step backward, putting some distance between them.
Jin isn’t bothered. Maybe YN isn’t a kiss on the first date type of girl. Now that he thinks about it, that makes him like her even more.
The two walk down the sidewalk in front of the restaurant for a bit. It’s gotten much darker now than it was when Jin first arrived.
Jin pauses when YN stops in front of the bus stop sign.
“Would you like me to drive you? It’s gotten late.”
“I’ll be okay,” YN says, “But thank you, though.”
“Are you sure? I really don’t mind.”
YN thinks for a moment, looking at him before glancing at her watch.
“I’d really appreciate it -”
YN doesn’t even get to finish before Jin grapes her hand in his and strides towards the nearby parking lot, unlocking his fancy car and opening the door for YN. Jin doesn’t notice the slightly uncomfortable look on YN’s face, much too excited.
Today has been so much better than he could have ever hoped.
“Which way to your place?”
YN quietly gives him instructions to her dorm.
Honestly, she just wants this night to be over. When she asked Jungkook about Jin, she did it as a conversation starter, hoping to find more info about Jungkook. He’s so cute and she wanted to try and shoot her shot with him but their conversation went haywire and before she knew it, Jungkook was setting her up with his “lonely and desperate but I swear he’s attractive” friend. Trying to make the best out of the situation, she decided to talk to Jin. He’s fun to text and to chat with but she just doesn’t feel any chemistry with him.
“We’re here,” Jin says a few minutes later.
YN gets out of the car before Jin can rush to open it for her.
“Thanks a lot,” YN says, turning away from him.
She walks into the building swiftly, unaware of the gaze on her back.
Back at his apartment, Jin texts Jungkook.
Me: She’s a dream
Me: an absolute angel
Me: I think she’s the one
Kookie: the date went that well, huh? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Me: Not like that. She’s just really sweet
Kookie: I’m happy for you! I hope things work out well for the two of you!
Me: I think they will
Jin flops on his bed, sighing like a schoolgirl. It’s only been one date but he knows she’s going to be the one for him.
Opening up a different conversation, Jin clicks on the second newest one, taking a moment to change the name.
Me: I think I’m going to marry you one day
Across the city, YN’s stomach drops when she reads the text. She doesn’t know what to say to him. How do you tell someone that you’re just not into them?
Deciding to deal with it later, YN turns off her phone and heads to the bathroom. That sushi is not agreeing with her.
For the next couple of days, YN and Jin text back and forth, but it doesn’t have the same energy as it used to. Instead of replying instantly and really moving the conversation forward, YN gives short responses and takes forever to respond.
Two weeks later, she stops responding at all.
Worried that something may have happened to his love, Jin amps up his texting and calling, hoping to get through to her. He sends her a new text every hour, and then every half hour, and then every fifteen minutes until he’s texting her over a thousand times a day. At this point Jin is worried that she’s hurt.
But according to Jungkook, she’s just fine.
Me: Are you sure, Kookie?
Kookie: I just think she’s not into you Jin
Kookie: I’m sorry. I would have never set you two up if I thought it would go like this.
Jin sits on his bed, his mind swimming. Not into him? She couldn’t be! Not YN! Not after the magical time they’d had together?
Kookie: Don’t give up, I’m sure that you’ll find someone
Jin, sick to his stomach, dials YN’s phone again.
She answers.
“YN -”
“STOP CALLING ME! I DON’T LIKE YOU! I DON’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!”
The last straw. His back is finally broken, he’s caving into himself.
“Darling,” he says after a moment.
YN quiets down. She had half expected for him to have hung up.
“Let’s go out to eat again, shall we? I’d hate to make sushi out of you.”
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Story Previews:
Below you will find the names and summaries of the entered stories, please take care to read through them and be aware of any warnings when thinking about which piece it is you wish to claim. Make sure to have two in mind when choosing as your first choice may already be taken.
To claim a story, send an email to [email protected] with the titles of your top two favourites. Claims only begin on March 24th at 10am GMT, please wait until this time to submit your claim, or else it will NOT be counted.
I’ve had people in the past try to submit claims via ask and they have not come through, please send in the claims via email only. Thanks.
1. Title: HandShook
Summary: “Get me a handshake, Tony, that’s it. Don’t break anything and please do not turn this into an interspecies war.” -James Rhodes
Tony Stark is the first man in the history of the human race to breach the heliosphere keeping space-faring humanity from the rest of the universe. Bucky’s people, the Aldori, a technologically advanced, space-faring race, watch him do it. The Aldori demand a meeting to establish diplomatic relations and determine whether or not humans will prove to be a threat to them. Without letting the Aldori know that only Tony’s ship is advanced enough to make the trip, Rhodey is forced to send him as ambassador.
Simple right? Except the handshake Tony is supposed to capture on film for Rhodey is intensely intimate to the Aldori.
The Aldori decide to go through with it. Their people are at war and they need these humans, who are apparently so advanced that they can skip through ‘The Trench,’ to either join their cause, or, at worst, remain neutral.
They’ve married off royalty for political alliances before. It’s a good thing Prince Bucky came back from the war only partially damaged. He’s perfect for an alliance with an untested race of people.
Current word count: 21,637
Warnings: 1) Bucky and Tony engage in an act of public handshaking which within the world would be roughly the equivalent of public nudity/a public sex act 2) Bucky forms an accidental mind meld with Tony as a result of a really good handshake--bare hands touching is very intimate for his people. Tony doesn't know about this for a very brief time. During which he 'feels' Bucky's feelings for him which are predominantly affectionate. -the mind-meld may result in telepathic sex which hasn't been written yet. (So: Tony engages in an intimate act without knowing it's considered intimate. Bucky accidentally Bonds with him, creating a mental connection as a result. Pseudo accidental marriage. Light (I think?) Dub con of the making someone else feels your romantic feeling for them type.)
2 Title: Tony’s New Friend (working title) Summary: When Tony is forced to come home for his summer break at MIT, he thinks it is going to be a disaster. He’s right. But it also ends up being a lot more exciting than he thought too. Who says urban exploring is a bad thing? Current word count: 14432
Warnings: None A/N: It’s not finished yet, but I’ll have a better summary/more finished by time you pick it. Promise. (This is turning out longer than I thought)
3 Title: No Title Yet/Canon-Divergent from CA:WS
Summary: After helping Natasha and Steve with the Project Insight fuck up, Tony agrees to help with their Winter Soldier problem. Namely, find the man and keep him non-hypnotisable. But of course the Winter Soldier, being the Winter Soldier, finds Tony first.
Current word count: 5.181
Warnings: Maybe some gnarly description of the connection between the metal arm and Bucky’s skin. Nothing too bad, but I guess caution is best. There might be a scene of adjusting a new arm, but since I am no doctor, I don’t know how detailed I will describe that yet.
A/N: This is a canon-divergent fic, that has Steve, Nat, and Sam ask Tony for help with the Helicarriers instead of, you know, dumping all of SHIELD’s info online xD Steve tells Tony about his parents and Tony, taking a few days to deal with it, then decides to help him with the Winter Soldier, thus creating BARF sooner, with Helen Cho and Bruce Banner (so no Quentin Beck). Bucky in the meantime, having managed to evade HYDRA, finds him because the arm needs repairs.
4 Title: The Daemon In Me (tentatively)
Summary: Tony Stark is, as far as he knows, the only person who can see daemons, a manifestation of a person’s soul that, naturally, shares their Mark.
Several years after his parents’ deaths, Obadiah Stane arrives to inform him that Howard had arranged a marriage for him, and it’s time to meet his prospective husband. There’s just one tiny hitch.
The groom doesn’t have the same Mark as his daemon.
Current word count: 5050-ish
Warnings: Implied/referenced child abuse, Howard’s A+ parenting, alternate universe – daemons, alternate universe – soulmarks, implied/referenced arranged marriage
A/N: This is definitely alternative universe but it’s incredibly vague on details of such. It’s also not finished yet, but Tony and Bucky will definitely meet, beat the bad guys and end up happily ever after (I can’t be more specific, because this was supposed to have been a completed fic).
5 Title: The Tangled Tale of Winteriron
Summary: Prince James was born to the kingdom of Brooklyn via the miracle of a magic flower. Kidnapped at a young age, his best friend and betrothed Steve Rogers tears the kingdom apart to find him.
A thief named Iron Man is currently on the run from the king’s guards. Hiding in a secluded tower, he finds himself tied up by a young man with a whole lot of… hair?
Current Word Count: approximately 9500 words
Warnings: Emotional manipulation and abuse
A/N:
6 Title: Winter Witcher (may change) Summary: Twenty years ago, the Witcher Bucky rescued the King and Queen of Stark from a monster that had moved into their castle. Pressed to name a reward above and beyond the coin he’d been promised, he claimed the Law of Surprise, electing to let destiny choose his prize. Before he could return to find out what it was that he’d won, another monster locked him in ice. Tony of Stark has always known that his marriage would be a political one, but he’s discovered that his betrothed and his chief counselor are conspiring against him. Left with no time to plan an escape and isolated from his few loyal friends, Tony’s desperation and determination unlock a conduit of chaos within him that takes him far, far away, right into the arms of his destiny. Current word count: ~25,000 (finished but unedited) Warnings: Dubcon (sex drug/magic) A/N: This draft is complete, but if our artist has additional ideas, we’re happy to discuss how to work them in! This is basically “Episode 1” of what might turn into a whole series of stories, but as this is the “pilot” episode, it should stand on its own.
7 Title: Your eyes aren’t rivers there to weep (But a place for crows to rest their feet)
Summary: Bucky sat up slowly, pain throbbing from his temple to the nape of his back specifically. "You’re an absolute idiot, you know that? Didn’t you know your AI can’t detect magical traps?”
“Oh sure, ‘cause we fight many villains who like to hide portals in the floor? You’re a bigger idiot for following me, Barnes.”
-or-
Tony disobeys orders during a mission and causes him and Bucky to fall through Doom’s time travel portal, forcing them to survive together in a tropical rainforest, to their utter reluctance.
Current word count: 11 800
Warnings: None
A/N: This is an unedited WIP! I added the outline for what I plan for the reminder of the story at the end. :)
8 Title: Wings in my Soul (Stars in my Eyes)
Summary: After being spaced when his ship is destroyed, Bucky assumes his life on the run is over. His life is unexpectedly saved by one of the most advanced spaceships he’s ever seen, and the sentient AI running it. T-0N33 is so real, Bucky quickly finds himself questioning how thin the line is between machine and man. Together, they flee from HYDRA’s spreading influence and the megalomaniac Technopath, Zola. Throughout space battles and hijinks, they ask themselves: Can an AI have a soul and more importantly, can they fall in love?
Current word count: 7,838
Warnings: Nongraphic violence
A/N: ^o^ gay bois in SPAAAAAAACE
9 Title: Here, There and Neverwhere
Summary: After a long quiet night at the pub, Bucky was ready to have a simple night in. However, as fate deals its hand, Bucky gets dragged into a series of events that pulls him out of his new normal to a game where Gods and magic reign supreme. A handsome and charming magician Tony helps Bucky stack his deck, granting him a chance to survive.
When the wheel of fortune spins, will the odds be in their favour?
Current word count: 5086
Warnings: Canon typical violence
A/N: Rating is currently T but could go up to M or E
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Inbox dump
(brace yourselves, I’m including the timestamps because these have been sitting forever and you may literally forget ever having sent one of these because they’re from so long ago 😬)
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Anonymous said: March 11th 2014 *Clears throat* Non-canon verse, uni AU probably *strums guitar and takes a deep breath* DUEEEEE TO A COMPUTING errORRR, dean and gabe are stuck as roomatesssssssss, whilesamandcascanbestucktogethertoo that'snotaneccesitybutitwouldbegreaaaaaaaaattttttttt, and veeery soon it turns into something of a friendship BUT THEEEENNNN dean fights with saaAAAM and gabe is like "dude stop being so upset" aND FLUFF HAPPEeeeeeEEEEEEeens! *stands up and bows* tyvm for accepting debriel though like omg <3
I’ve been rewatching some of Supernatural seasons 5 and 6 this past weekend, and it reminded me how much I love and miss Gabriel. I still maintain that Debriel is a super-underrated ship. The manic-chaos potential is *muah*. (see: #Debriel)
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Anonymous said: August 7th 2018 psst... light back tickles while cuddling in bed are pure™ and wholesome™
Good shit good shit good shit
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Anonymous said: September 19th 2018 I love science and go to public seminars as often as I can. I walked in to the most recent one (which I had picked at random), and it was on the science of tickling. There were demonstrations. There were hand gestures and finger wiggling. There were in depth descriptions of the anatomy and physiology behind ticklish spots. It was legitimately your Amateur Production’s fic, and I was Kevin. Worst of all it was 2 hours long. I think I died during it and my soul was sucked into hell.
Uhhhhhh where can I get a copy of the slide deck?? Asking for a friend. (see: #series: Amateur Production)
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Anonymous said: September 23rd 2018 your art skills have me shook in the best possible way
aaaahh thank you! Fun fact: I went to art school and even took illustration as a concentration area but I’ve hardly drawn anything for like ten years. When I do draw, it’s usually because there are feelings that I don’t wanna do words about. (see: #strings does art)
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Halo!anon said: September 27th 2018 A small, sinful part of Castiel had the urge to gloat. It was somewhat dampened by the fact that Dean was still under the impression that being abducted is peak romance."I can't believe you went out of your way to set up our second date!" He'd squealed, as Castiel tightened his restraints. - little excerpt of a sequel to Date Nights with Demons i had planned for months but abandoned. halo!anon
Your demented version of Demon!Dean is so entertaining 😄 (see: Date Nights with Demons)
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Anonymous said: November 6th 2018 Aaaaah your Gabriel / Kali drabble was adorable, I can't help but love seeing our mighty archangel reduced to a mass of giggles, and you write Gabriel so so well <3. I love your writing your stories always brighten my day ^^
It’s so rare for him to let his guard down, isn’t it? But when he does, he has a grand old time of it. :) (see: this drabble)
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sarah-lou-who said: November 8th 2018 1/4 Boo! The ghost of my online presence in the community is peeking its head in because I need help. I don’t have a platform or following to sound an alarm, so I’m using my platonic tumblr wife’s platform and following for me, because that’s what platonic tumblr wives do. Right? Anyway, I’m very actively fixated on Attack on Titan atm. You know this very well. You also know my predicament. I seem to have exhausted the entire supply of tickly AoT content I’m interested in that exists currently. 2/4 So, if you’re willing to publish these for me, I’m crying out into the vast TFB lands hoping that there’s someone out there to answer the call. I am in desperate need of tickly AoT content. I don’t know if anyone around here writes for it much these days. I haven’t found anyone. And I know beggars can’t be choosers, but it can’t be helped; I really only care if Eren is involved. Even better would be Levi, but I haven’t found ANYTHING involving him, so I feel like asking for that is futile. 3/4 I digress. Even after all this time I can’t keep my asks less than 50 parts long. So my goal here is that someone, somewhere, will by chance come across these, and be able and willing to either write fic of the tickly variety for Eren and/or Levi from Attack on Titan, or direct me to someone who can, if they know a person who knows a person who knows a person. (Sidenote, hi anyone who still remembers me! It’s Sarah, the more ticklish half of Leerah. I’m doing good and I miss you!) 4/4 (I hope you’re all doing well!) Thank you for letting me take advantage of your devoted followers, Strings! Love yaaa!!!
Ah, my platonic tumblr wife Sarah returns! (Digitally, anyway. Reality-wise, we hang out all the time and it’s probably very rude of me to have not published this ask for so long!) I keep teasing her that she has a Type, and that is dark-haired sulky badass who’d probably make a wicked ‘ler – AoT Levi, SPN Cas, FMA Roy, etc. So anyway, if anyone knows of somewhere I can point her to find the content she’s (still) craving, lmk!
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Anonymous said: October 23rd 2019 I’m sorry if this is invasive in any way, but how is Sarah doing? I’ve been absent from Tumblr for a couple years and I see that her blog is now deactivated. I was just wondering if she’s doing alright and if she’s still around here on a different blog maybe?
See above! She doesn’t have a TFB community blog anymore, but she’s doing well. We’re quarantine buddies and helping each other out a lot. Very kind of you to ask! <3
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Anonymous said: December 2nd 2018 Hi, sorry to bother you but do you know what happened to prodigal-anon’s blog? It seems to have been deleted. Sorry again if you’ve been asked this before
No worries, friend! Here’s an answer for you!
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Anonymous said: December 13th 2018 I LOVE THE LOOPY SERIES! I love it so much, is there any chance you’ll be doing a part four? I’d give anything to see Cas and Dean tickle each other, it would be so cute 😍
Despite all evidence to the contrary, I haven’t entirely stopped writing... and Loopy 4 is one of those unfinished pieces that has seen a few additions lately. :) I’ve learned not to make promises about when something might get finished and posted, but I genuinely do believe this may be one of the first things that shows up once I’m ‘back in the game.’ Stay tuned... (see: #series: Loopy)
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Anonymous said: January 1st 2019 No no no you can't just stop there! I need more fluffy destiel with tickles and kissing! Pretty please?
I believe this is in response to Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight. Don’t you worry, anon – Dean and Cas are not done being fluffy on this blog!
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1832wasalongtimeago said: January 25th 2019 Hi I just wanted to pop in and say the Maintenance series is amazing!! The second part was doing things to my poor heart I’ve read it like 5 times already. You’re such an amazing writer and thank you fo writing for us!
I’m very flattered, but I can’t take credit for the Of Maintenance series – that’s the lovely work of ask-flip-frost! It does things to my poor heart, too, so you’re in good company. :)
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Anonymous said: January 26th 2019 Sam Winchester can take a lot of things. The one thing he CAN'T take? Someone using baby talk on him when he's being tickled. He collapses into a puddle of helpless giggles faster than a house of cards in a stiff wind.
Precious Sammy just needs to laugh and be held, doesn’t he? <3
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Anonymous said: May 17th 2019 Thor needs tickles. So. Damn. Much.
Oh this was from right after Endgame came out. Thor did make me feel some sads there. :( Poor bab.
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Anonymous said: July 25th 2019 hi! i’ve read your wonderful fics forever but i’ve never really sent anything like this before so i don’t really know what to say.. but i had a destiel tickly thought and really wanted to share it with somebody, so here goes i guess- dean is taking too long in the shower so cas decides to use his mojo from the other room to speed things along. and listens to dean’s echoey laughs through the door. that’s all. sorry if this is weird! okay bye have a good one
This is not weird and I may have delayed in telling you any of my feelings about it but I definitely have a doc somewhere that has some vague notes about how I’d like to write this because I like it!
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Anonymous said: August 6th 2019 Anhhgff your Good Omens tword fics are so cute snvfddf i never knew I needed that of my favorite husbands till now😳😍
I know, right?! They’re just dying to be dropped into every fluffy situation. (see: #Good Omens)
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Anonymous said: July 25th 2019 Poking my head in to say hello, hope you’re doing well still! I just got into Good Omens and I absolutely loved your fic! (I watched the show first because my book was taking too long in the mail lol) Also, the other week I somehow talked myself into making a tfb blog, after all these years of almost doing so before chickening out (this ask isn’t from it because I just hopped in here briefly in a private phone browser to say hi, it’s literally just august-anon though) ~August!Anon
August!anon, I’m always so happy to see you stop by! Tagging your (not-so-new anymore) blog so everyone can check you out: @august-anon
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hey-teenblog said: August 4th 2019 I love your fanfiction very much! They give me a lot of pleasant emotions. And most importantly, they, saturated with tenderness and love, gave me to accept myself as lee!! sorry for my english, i'm russian Love you 😘❤️
I will never tire of hearing things like this! Thank you for telling me. “Saturated with tenderness and love” is a such wonderful compliment about my writing – thank you very much! No need to apologize for language differences; I’m always impressed with anyone who manages to pick up English because it’s bonkers.
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Anonymous said: August 23rd 2019 Hi! Just found this blog and wondering some basic info. ** What fandoms do toy write for? ** Do you accept prompts? ** Do you write reader insert fics? Thank you lovley ❤️
Anonymous said: August 29th 2019 Do you write tickle fics for bnha?? Asking for a friend 👀👀
The only fandoms I have reliably been able to write for are Supernatural and Good Omens – but even Good Omens is a rookie player here. Supernatural is my main jam, and Destiel is my favorite flavor. I don’t do reader inserts, but I’m always “accepting” prompts. I just haven’t written many of them for quite a long time now, so you’re welcome to drop them as long as you’re okay with them collecting dust. (see: this selfsame post)
My About/FAQ page is very dusty right now, too, but there might be some useful tidbits in there for you.
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Anonymous said: November 12th 2019 okayokayokay. Have you watched Lucifer? It's on netflix, it's great, so much emotions and pining. (Also, y'know, reg. Luci stuff. He runs a club. Bad jokes. It's great.)
I haven’t, but it’s on my Netflix watchlist, so I’ll get there eventually! I saw a gifset once where he actually did the thing I see in winged fanfic all the time, where there was gunfire and he sheltered someone he cared about with his manifested wings. And honestly, that was the deciding factor for me.
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Anonymous said: November 16th 2019 Oh Man U listen to Critrole as well! Nice! Campaign 1 was awesome but also heartfelt and really gut-punching at points. Who is your fav so far, anyone you aren’t fond of? (& Out of interest do you have any tickle related thoughts on the main crew or upcoming Fics we can look out for? As you said it’s tumbleweeds out here for this fandom’s tickles and I’ll take anything really 😂!) Hope u enjoy!!!!!
It’s STILL tumbleweeds out here and it’s making me crazy! My heart belongs to Vax primarily, Percy secondarily. I don’t really have cohesive thoughts or headcanons about anything, unfortunately. I do have this one mental picture that keeps coming up that I keep wanting to see art of (who knows, maybe I’ll commission somebody someday?) – of ridiculous brute Grog just lifting Vax straight up in his arms and gettin’ wiggly with his fingers while all Vax can do is laugh and pry and kick while absolutely nobody helps him.
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Regarding #series: Accessor:
Anonymous said: August 31st 2015 I would like to see accessor!verse cas using feathers on Dean!!! and NIBBLES and RASPBERRIES and TEETH and TONGUE and WOWWWWWW
ME TOO, FRIEND. It’s been aaaaages since I published anything new for the Accessor AU, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been going back to my unfinished docs every once in a while to add a few lines here and there. ;)
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Anonymous said: October 29th 2016 Prompt: Cas is put in charge of getting a treaty with a neighboring country that shares a lot of the same customs, including Accessories, with certain... twists (think Bracelets AU) and treats their personal slaves (like Accessories) like people (listening to opinions, giving proper care, etc.). The foreign diplomats keep bringing that up and talking to Dean. Cas isn't sure he can make it though the diplomatic proceedings. Also, he might be having improper thoughts about that custom and Dean...
I’m posting this here, but I’m definitely keeping this filed elsewhere because it’s FANTASTIC.
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Halo!anon submitted: June 4th 2018 I can’t help but imagine how tickling must play a part in other aspects of society in the accessor ‘verse, besides the sessions between master and accessory. So here’s some imagines and headcanons, with a touch of worldbuilding. (Warnings, besides the usual for this AU: death mention, reference to past trauma.)
- Among the high class, during parties and other celebrations, it’s seen as a common courtesy to string up one’s personal accessory in the center of the room and let the guests entertain themselves with them. Lord Castiel never does this with Dean, much to his fellow nobles’ disappointment; the mere suggestion had Dean quaking as things he’d rather forget came back to bite him.
- Every so often, a petty criminal(the poor man’s accessory, if you will) is placed in stocks in a small town’s square and left at the mercy of the very people they used to menace. What happens next usually involves honey, some sheep, and plenty of begging. A guard stands by to warn people, “No hurting, only tickling. Everyone please wait your turn, they’re not going anywhere any time soon.”
- Certain monastic healers perform tickle therapy as a treatment for anxiety, stress, and other “diseases of the soul”, as they call them. Balthazar himself proposed the idea, because of course he did. The rich usually indulge in this kind of therapy secretly, due to its undignified nature. Some contemplate the possibility of training accessories to tickle in the future, but it’s still a big taboo.
- Every town has a folktale about a tickle monster. Curiously, many of them involve controlling plants and attacking through dreams. The southern communities still have a giggle remembering that one time six years ago when Michael offered to hunt down one such monster and came back with Crowley, a sleazy drunkard with a fetish and a dream, sitting in a cage and wearing a mask.
- The Masters sisters, Lillith, Meg and Ruby, have a long history with law enforcement. Their favorite pastime is snatching unlucky merchants off the roads and tickling them into coughing up everything they have. Everyone is sure they had a hand in Fergus"Crowley" Macleod’s untimely demise by ferocious attack hounds, but they’re very good at covering their tracks. They’ll help you cover up your tracks too, if you’re a friend- ask Bela Talbot.
I might make a second part if I get any more ideas. I hope you enjoyed this! -Halo!anon.
I am very fond of you indeed, Halo!anon. These are so creative!
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hypahticklish submitted: July 24th 2018 Accessor!Ideas:
~ Gabriel leads a furious rant regarding Prince Lucifer/Sam to Castiel, relating back to perhaps dealings he has directly had with the Prince between their two unstable-yet-truced Kingdoms. Castiel relates with similar views shared by Gehenna’s councilor(s).
~ Dean and Sam BM where the audience learns more about their homevillage. Dean starts it after a rather morose remark from Sam and ends with Sammy smiling and stealing my heart.
~ Balthazar helps Sam in several ways: 1) Learns the Sam was originally a psuedo-Advocates apprentice, as well as herbalist nephew when Sam identifies the components to some salves/medicines he’s making (he had been explaining what he was doing in an attempt to spare himself being attacked like the first couple times) 2) Calls Sam out on being intelligent and making a recklessly stupid choice by selling himself to find Dean. 3) Removes Lucifers mark. And maybe perhaps: 4) Allows Sam to assist in his own healing/medicine making under his careful observation, feigned as needing two sets of hands to do correctly and his assistant was running an errand, to assess his skills. 5) Offer he work in the hospice under him, apprenticing, should Gabriel allow his intelligence not go to waste. It’s not what Sam really wants to do/learn, but it’s better than doing nothing.
~Dean officially thanks Castiel for saving Sam. I’m talking full feels, single man tear sorta thing. And Castiel says “there was never another option” and then its schmoopy sweet with the kisses and the tickles and the Cas saying he loves Dean back!!!!!!!! swoon.
~ Kali!Likes!Sam’s!Spirit! Give me a dinner scene with Gabriel, Kali and Sam where hes holding his own in a diplomatic conversation with them when he nearly crosses a line (maybe something classist? Making it clear that Cas and Gabe are the exception to his experiences) and she says “I like this ones fire. He reminds me of you, my love.” *grabby hands*
~ Prince Lucifer sends a message to Gabriel requesting (threatening) his Helpmate be returned to him for a handsome reward. Sam somehow sees letter and gets spooked because DRAMA. Gabriel responds to Lucifer with the Chief Advocate equivalent of “Fuck Off”
You, my friend. YOU. All these feelings about Sam? Top-notch, and I shall be borrowing them, yes I shall.
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Regarding #android!Cas:
hypahticklish said: January 23rd 2016 Android!Cas deciding today is the DAY. Dean has been teasing him lately that he likes these strange sensations that have him using all his back-up generated power to not accidentally break Dean's bones and challenging him with that cocky smirk and relaxed confidence. Android!Cas practicing during time while Dean rests with holding objects with similar density to the human wrists with enough gentle force that they neither fracture or slip from his grasp. Android!Cas surprising Dean by turning the tables and pinning his wrists over his head while settling himself on Dean's thighs. Android!Cas not necessarily tickling at first so much as just touching like he had been wanting to so as to catalog how his best friend feels with his new technology. Android!Cas feeling that bubble of FEELS in his chest as he listens to Dean swear at him with positive physical actions negating his harsh words, growing more amused as the bubbling giggles begin. I love Android!Cas
Anonymous said: January 23rd 2016 Android!Cas figures out his own strength comes in handy for more than just retaining himself during tickle fights. When he surprises Dean, Dean tends to squirm and fight back a little (even though he told Cas to get him back as part of the experience), so Cas uses his strength to gently hold Dean down while ticking him. Dean's never been held immobile before so it's a new experience for him, but he ends up liking it. Cas notices how Dean relaxes into his hold after a minute or so. Cas doesn't fail to use this knowledge about Dean, coming up with teasing words and methods of ticking to make Dean all squirmy and giggly, taking special notice of how light tickles effect Dean even more than most other touches, using that specially designed soft brush meant to gently clean Cas' delicate computer chips.
Anonymous said: February 17th 2016 I'm joining in on the Android!Cas thing, if not too late. Perhaps Android!Cas has detachable parts, like a foot, and Dean is a jerk and runs off and hides with it all the while tickling it and making fun of Android!Cas's increasingly desperate attempts to get it back.
Y’all, careful deliberate curious determined ‘ler Cas is LIFE. And, reserved confused helpless adorable ‘lee Cas is also life. Detachable and extensible parts are probably key to both of these things.
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Regarding current personal circumstances:
Anonymous said: January 14th 2020 I pray that you’re able to find peace during this difficult time. You are loved more than you will ever know. I know it’s hard to believe, but there will come a time that you are thankful for this experience, because it will have turned you into the person you are truly meant to be. Be strong and be hopeful. Keep your faith and keep knowing that you are going to be okay. Don’t let this dark time destroy the magnificent light inside of you. Sending you so much love
Anonymous said: January 17th 2020 I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Hang in there! We’re all here for you!
Anonymous said: February 11th 2020 all my love, thoughts and prayers are going towards you right now. also wanted to just drop a little thank you note in your inbox for all the light and joy i've found in your fics over the years. im sitting half way through my first year at uni currently but ive been a fan of yours since early highschool and i feel like ive almost grown up with your writing and fanfics in a strange way, so thank you so much for that. sending all my love to you once again- you are so strong x
I love you all so much.
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"I- If you are g-going to kill me, please-" The borrower sobbed once. "please just make it quick."
Meeting Maddie
Sanders Sanctuary Masterlist
Word Count: 2,702
Content Warnings: Cages, treating a person as a pet, allusions to abuse
———
Sometimes, Maddie wished she had been born in captivity. In one of those breeding farms she’d heard whispers about, or to a pair of “lovebirds” in a pet shop. If she had been, she probably wouldn’t have ended up here, gripping the bars of her carrier to keep herself from tumbling around helplessly while her master slipped through the crowd. She had half a mind to yell up at him to be more careful with the cage, but thought better of it. The bruises she got from being jostled in her cage were far more preferable than whatever punishment her master could come up with for her insolence.
“Okay, little fly, we’re here,” said the human in question.
Maddie barely had time to brace herself before greasy fingers wrapped around her and she was pulled out of her enclosure. She forced herself to remain still; her master didn’t like it when she squirmed.
“This is where the Scorpion crew is outfitted. Their shipment is set to come in sometime in the next month. You know the drill.”
“Get in, get the info, get out,” Maddie replied listlessly.
“Don’t disappoint me, little fly,” her master warned, giving her a sharp squeeze for good measure.
Maddie bit her tongue to keep from crying out, letting out a sigh of relief as she was finally set down. With one last glance at the human behind her, she turned and slipped into the Scorpion crew’s lair.
Yeah, she definitely wished she’d been born in captivity.
Sure, if she had been, she’d have spent her whole life belonging to somebody else, to someone that would treat her as a lesser being. She never would have known what it was to go where you wanted when you wanted to, or eat and sleep and live on her own terms.
She never would have known freedom.
But she also probably would never have been caught by a gang of drug dealers on a borrowing trip gone wrong or be forced to spy on some of the most dangerous people in the city’s underground. She wouldn’t have spent the past two years wondering if she’d done good enough work to be fed, or hoping that the gang members would decide to ignore her for the night rather than push her around for their amusement. Being a pet was bad, but almost anything had to be better than this, right?
Maddie poked her head around a corner, and sucked in a breath. There they were, the Scorpion gang. Her master’s current biggest rivals in business. And it was likely they’d stay that way, unless he could figure out how to get ahead of them somehow, which was why Maddie was now here, skirting around the edges of an abandoned warehouse, trying to catch the drop-off location of their next shipment of product so that her master’s men could get there first.
From the tone of their voices, Maddie could tell they were talking about something important, so she slid up behind a crate near the group and hunkered down to listen.
“-do you mean not on schedule?” a man Maddie assumed to be the leader demanded. “Martin knows our timetable.”
“Well, the flooding upstate doesn’t care much about the timetable. The truck won’t be here ‘til Friday, Martin says there’s nothing he can do.”
Anger flared in the man’s eyes, and Maddie found herself ducking even lower. It wasn’t often she was glad to be so small, but now, anything that could keep her out of the gang leader’s gaze was a blessing to be sure.
“Somebody better have good news for me today,” he growled out. “Because if one more thing goes wrong, then I am gonna-”
“Boss,” a new voice cut in, and all heads turned towards the entrance. “Some man is here to see you. Says he’s here to deal with the “little problem” you’ve been having?”
“Oh, yes,” the boss sighed, sounding bored. “Send him in then.”
Maddie peaked out from her hiding place to see a tall man wearing dark clothes. She’d seen a lot of odd types in her time working in the underworld, but this had to be the first time she’d ever seen someone wearing an actual hooded cloak. His face was hard to see under the folds of fabric, but his very presence made her feel somehow uneasy.
“Good afternoon,” he said in a smooth voice, inclining his head slightly towards the leader.
“Let’s skip your pleasantries, shall we?” the gang boss said dryly, then waved a hand at one of his men.
The goon stepped forward, and Maddie realized with a start that he was carrying a cage that held a trembling tiny inside. As they drew closer to the man, the tiny whimpered, trying to press themselves against their cage wall and further away.
“P-please,” Maddie heard the tiny beg. “Please don’t! I can do better, I promise! Don’t send me to the Shadow Man!”
Maddie’s heart skipped a beat. She knew about the Shadow Man, how could you be a tiny working in the underground and not? The threat that hung over all of their heads if they failed to please their masters. The mystery man who collected broken, worthless tinies. Anyone who was given to the Shadow Man was never seen again.
“Don’t bother anymore,” the gang leader said, rolling his eyes. “You’ve proven that you’re worthless to me. I don’t want to deal with you for another second.”
Maddie watched helplessly as the poor thing was passed over, the Shadow Man pulling a cage of his own from beneath his cloak and unceremoniously dumping the shaking tiny inside. The Shadow Man slipped the cage back beneath the folds of fabric and nodded to the gang again.
“It’s been a pleasure, gentlemen,” he said, turning and heading back towards the exit.
“Now then,” said the boss. “Let’s get back to–”
”Wait, what the hell is that?” one of the men interrupted, and Maddie yelped, realizing that the thug was staring right at her.
She didn’t think, she just turned and ran, knowing even as she did so that it was no use. Sure enough, she’d barely made it a foot before a hand clamped down around her, knocking the air out of her lungs and pinning her arms at her sides. She kicked and struggled, but it was no use; she was well and truly caught.
“What the hell?” the boss repeated, staring at her. “Where did that thing come from?”
“I dunno!” the human holding her insisted. “It must’ve been hiding behind the crate here.”
“Really now…” The leader narrowed his eyes, and Maddie squirmed under his gaze. “Now why would it do that. Anyone could see there’s no food in here.”
He leaned close, then suddenly plucked the borrower up by the back of her shirt, eliciting a sharp yelp.
“So that begs the question. What are you snooping around for?”
“I-I’m not snooping,” Maddie gasped out. “I swear, I’m not, I-”
“No…no, I know what you are,” the boss said with a snarl. “You’re Tony’s little ��good luck charm,” aren’t you? I should’ve known he would try to cut into my profits.”
“N-no, I d-don’t belong to anyone,” Maddie tried to protest, but she could see in the leader’s eyes that he didn’t believe her.
“I’ve had enough of this,” he grumbled, almost to himself. “I’ve told him to back off so many times, I warned him there’d be consequences. But he just wouldn’t listen.”
He hoisted Maddie up higher, so she was eye level with him, and she did her best to bite back a whimper.
“Maybe losing his precious little fly will send the proper message.”
Maddie began to well and truly panic then. Anything that gang leaders came up with for “sending a message” was something she wanted absolutely nothing to do with.
“P-please,” she started, not even sure what she was going to say to convince a man like this to let her go. Though as it turned out, she wouldn’t get a chance to say anything more.
“Excuse me,” the silky smooth voice from before said, and all heads turned to see the Shadow Man, still hovering at the edge of the room. “If you’d like, I could take her off your hands.”
No, Maddie thought desperately. No no no, anything but that.
“Why?” the boss asked, narrowing his eyes. The Shadow Man simply smiled his chilling smile.
“Oh, come now. You know how I conduct my business. I am always willing to take unwanted tinies. No fuss, and no questions asked. And it sounds to me like that one is very unwanted indeed.”
The leader hummed thoughtfully, then frowned down at Maddie.
“Unwanted, for sure. But we need to send a message to its owner. We won’t be tolerating this kind of behavior.”
“I understand that perfectly,” the man said with another of his slight bows. “But don’t you agree that sending your rival’s tiny to the Shadow Man is about as strong of a message you could send?”
For a few agonizing moments, nothing was said as the boss mulled it over. Then, he gave a curt nod, and held Maddie out towards the Shadow Man.
Maddie was dropped into his waiting palm, and before she’d properly registered the change, she was dropped again, this time into the cage stowed beneath his cloak. The landing hurt less than she’d expected it to; to her surprise the bottom of the cage was padded, but it was a small comfort. She glanced at the other tiny, unsurprised to see them still trembling in the corner. They were in the same boat now, the two of them.
Completely doomed.
———
Deacon sighed in relief as he buckled his cage into place before starting up his car. That had been a close call with the kid in the gang’s hideout, it was lucky for her that he’d happened to be there just as she was discovered. He shuddered to think of what might have been done to her if he hadn’t been able to get her out of there.
He glanced into the cage as he drove, frowning slightly at the sight of the two borrowers huddled inside. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out how to make this part less uncomfortable. He’d tried talking to those he rescued from the shadier parts of the world, but the change in demeanor only seemed to terrify them further. He wanted them to know that they were safe, but he just didn’t know how until they set foot in the sanctuary for the first time.
After an unbearably quiet drive, the awkward trio finally arrived at the entrance to Thomas’s farm. Deacon smiled to himself before reaching over and unbuckling the cage, sliding it out of the car as gently as he could.
“Okay,” he murmured as he walked the borrowers up to the front door of the farmhouse. “Welcome to your new home.”
He made his way into the living room and set the carrier down on the coffee table. He bent down to open it, then gasped at what he saw. One of the borrowers was lying unmoving on the cage floor, and Deacon quickly scooped them up and hurried out of the room, carrying the small figure close.
“Larry!” he called as he rushed into the infirmary. “I just brought this one in. Some drug dealer had them before, and I don’t know what he did to them, but now they’re unconscious. Can you-”
“Here,” Larry said, holding out his hands, and Dee ever so carefully eased the little borrower into the vet’s waiting palms. He hovered for a moment, making sure Larry had things under control, before heading back out to the living room. The other new borrower had to be pretty confused by now, and Dee wanted to make sure she was okay too.
“Hey, I’m back,” he said as he entered the room. A quick glance revealed the girl was still crouched in the corner of the cage, and he sighed to himself. “Didn’t mean to run off and leave you like that, sorry.”
He crouched down so he’d be closer to eye level with the small girl, and was sadly not too surprised to see her crying softly.
“Hey,” he said again, trying to make his voice as gentle as he could. “Look at me for a sec. Can you do that?”
She raised her head, her eyes puffy and red and her cheeks stained with tears.
“I- If you are g-going to kill me, please-” The borrower sobbed once. “please just make it quick.”
“Oh…no, I…no one’s going to kill you, I…” Dee sighed as the girl sobbed again and buried her face in her arms. “Okay. This is what I’m going to do. I’m gonna leave, alright?” He stood up and backed away. “You can come out of the cage, or stay in it if you want. It’s up to you. But I’m going to go away, and send someone else in to help you. And don’t worry, it won’t be a human.” He smiled softly. “It’ll be a borrower like you.”
And with that, he stood back up and left the room once more, smiling to himself as he caught a glimpse of the girl’s surprised face as he left. Maybe he wasn’t the best at comforting them when they were new, but he didn’t need to be. He just needed to make sure they were safe. And Deacon knew for a fact that there was nowhere safer they could possibly be than here.
———
“So let me get this straight,” Maddie said slowly, her hands wrapped around a little clay cup of tea. She’d never had tea before, and she was rather enjoying it. “This Thomas got a big house and a bunch of money from his aunt. And what he decided to do with it was…build this place?”
Maddie looked around at the room, taking in the blend of human and borrower sized furniture arranged so that the two groups could sit together comfortably.
“Yep, that sums it up!” Patton responded with a grin, taking a sip from his own cup of tea. “He’s been running it for close to four years now! The Sanders Sanctuary is a place where all borrowers, regardless of upbringing, are welcome to live free lives if they want to stay!”
“So…the Shadow Man…” Maddie said slowly, and Patton smiled.
“…is our friend,” he affirmed. “Deacon goes out and he finds borrowers who are especially at risk in illegal operations and he gets them out. The whole ‘Shadow Man’ thing was really an accident, but it meant that people started approaching him with borrowers they wanted to get rid of, so we all sort of just went with it.”
Maddie stared at him, trying to wrap her head around it all. Less than an hour ago, she’d been convinced she was going to die. Now, she was sitting on a borrower sized chair, across easily the most cheerful person she’d ever met, a cup of tea in her hands and a plate of cookies in front of them, being told that she didn’t have to worry about being safe ever again?
“Kiddo, you okay there?” Patton’s voice pulled her from her thoughts, and she nodded.
“Yeah, I…it’s just a lot to take in,” she admitted. “This morning, I woke up in a locked desk drawer and hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday morning…I think this is gonna take some getting used to.”
Sympathy was written all over Patton’s face, and he pushed the plate of cookies towards her, urging her to eat another.
“I understand,” he said quietly. “Most of us here, we’ve all had hardships. We’ve each got our stories to tell, some like yours, some different. But there’s one thing we all have in common.”
“What’s that?” Maddie asked around a mouthful of cookie, and Patton smiled.
“We’re safe here, kiddo. I promise, no matter what else happens, you’re safe here. Okay?”
Maddie swallowed, then glanced around the room again before her eyes fell back to Patton. Slowly, carefully, she returned his smile.
“Okay.”
———
A/N: SO! I hope you all enjoyed my completely self-indulgent fic about how my OC Maddie arrived at the Sanders Sanctuary. If you’re at all familiar with my fic Our Own Villain, then you’ll have noticed several nods to Maddie’s origins and her life in Roman’s realm. I’ve had a blast putting my sweet little child (she’s 13, btw) into this universe. And yes, Patton basically is going to adopt her, bless him XD. Credit for the idea of Dee as the Shadow Man of course goes to @ukaia, from their fic for this verse The Shadow Man, read it if you haven’t, it’s very good! Thank you guys for reading!
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When his best friend tried to shove a piece of paper right under his nose, Harry was quick to bat it away.
“Lou please, I’m trying to work, I was really getting somewhere with this one tricky sentence,“ Harry groaned, not lifting his glance from the various sheets piled in front of him. His small desk space was littered all over with books, pencils, and even more books, most of them battered and their pages yellowed by their sheer age.
“There’s a reason I like working in the library, you know?“ Harry sighed. “It’s nice not having Peppermint constantly step on whatever it is I’m working on and demanding attention every second.“
Harry finally looked up at his best friend, and found that there were indeed some similarities between his cat and Louis. He was giving Harry the exact same glance Lucy liked to fixate him with when Harry denied her access to his desk.
Apart from that, Louis was equally irresistible. “What do you want?“ Harry asked, marking the spot where he left off translating with his finger.
“Look!“ Louis proclaimed excitedly and way too loud for any common library, and once again held a piece of paper right into Harry’s face. Their library, however, was luckily far from common and on top of that, Harry and Louis were - as usual - hidden away in the dimmest corner. Harry took the sheet into his own hand and waited for Louis to enlighten him further about what exactly he was looking at.
“I just looked up that one commentary, you know, the one Payne wants us to read for Latin Literature III, about Juvenal?“
Harry nodded, urging Louis to continue. Meanwhile, he inspected the paper and the scribblings on it further.
“Yeah, and this fell out!“ Louis finished the story excitedly.
“So why don’t you put it back in and read the damn commentary? You could bring it over when you’re done, I need to look some things up as well, for example-“ Harry said, giving the sheet back to Louis.
Louis didn’t let him finish his sentence. “But Harry, no, honestly, you haven’t even taken a proper look at it! It’s written in some sort of code,“ he said, lowering his voice as if he were telling Harry a secret.
Harry sighed. “Louis, there are so many weird people in this library studying weird languages. Somebody must’ve forgotten their notes in this book, happens all the time. We’re probably one of the most normal people, just studying Latin. D’you remember that one guy sitting in our spot last time? The one with the fat metal chain round his neck and the satanistic-themed shirt with… what… ancient Viking runes on it or some shit? There’s so many strange people around.“
“I’ll bet you that this is no known language, it’s a code!“ Louis insisted, holding the paper back into Harry’s face.
“You must’ve read too much The Three Investigators or Five Find-Outers or something when you were little, Louis. Let it go and just fetch the commentary, please.“
Louis sighed, but let Harry return to his translation homework. “I’m taking a photo of it, though, and I’m gonna find out what this is,“ he insisted.
“You do that,“ Harry mumbled.
X X X
“Have y’all gotten anywhere with that damn translation homework yet?“ With a thump, Niall sat down next to Louis and Harry in the lecture hall, spreading his things all over the writing surface and interrupting their conversation.
“Hi to you, Niall,“ Harry greeted Niall. “And no, I got stuck at a particularly terrible sentence, I’ve got no idea whatsoever what it’s supposed to mean.“
“Sounds like it might be an ancient dick joke once again,“ Niall joked, poking Harry in the ribs.
“Might well be, I’ll leave it up to you to detect those. Everyone should do what they do best,“ Harry was quick to respond.
“Oi! Now I’m getting a reputation for being the local dick joke expert?“ Niall asked, feigning exasperation. “All it takes is finding a boyfriend and pointing out what was definitely a dick joke in class once?“
“Well, mate, better deal with it,“ Louis piped up. “I haven’t even started on Juvenal yet, but I dug up that commentary and-“
“Not again,“ Harry groaned and shot a desperate look at the clock. If he was lucky, the lecture would start soon and he would be spared to hear all of the so-called mystery Louis had discovered.
Harry had no such luck, it was still five minutes early; however, Niall seemed little more interested than Harry himself, which filled Harry with some hope that Louis might let it go soon.
Five minutes early became five minutes late, became ten minutes late, became fifteen minutes late. Around then, everybody in the lecture hall started checking their phones for e-mails that might announce that the lecture had been cancelled, some people left the lecture hall, some others started busying themselves with other work.
Harry checked his e-mail as well, but turned up empty-handed, just like everybody else.
“Maybe Rexha had an accident on her bike,“ Niall suggested to explain their professor’s absence. “She nearly ran me over with it last time, did I tell y’all? She’s a crazy biker and I was just walking through the underpass, totally oblivious, not harming anyone, and suddenly she just-“
Niall was interrupted by said professor bursting into the lecture hall, her coat flapping, her usually neat hair completely messed up and sticking to her forehead. She did give off the impression of just having narrowly escaped an accident. Without a word, she dumped her satchel on the lecturer’s desk and only then looked up at the now-silent students.
“Dear students, I have a very sad announcement to make. As you might notice, I am deeply affected and distraught, but I understand that you must and deserve to know as well. Nothing more than a mere half hour ago, Mr Payne was found in his office, dead. We do not know anything more as of yet, and I ask you not to jump to any conclusions and make any unjustified assumptions. All of his lectures will of course be cancelled until further notice, although this certainly is not our first concern now.“
“What? That can’t be true,“ Louis exclaimed in shock, a bit too loudly. Mr Payne had been a favourite for almost everyone at the department, although he insisted on burdening the students with insane amounts of homework.
“I’m afraid it is, Ms Tomlinson,“ the professor addressed Louis. “I don’t want to believe it, either, but I am afraid that we have to accept this fact. As I cannot answer any questions you might have, let us now turn our attention to ancient Roman culture, as we must. I am sure that it would have also been in Mr Payne’s interest to continue this lecture as best as possible.“
X X X
“Again, Lou, this is not The Five Find-Outers, he probably had a heart attack or something,“ Harry repeated. “As terrible as it is, it’s not getting better if we start circulating conspiracy theories.“
“It’s not a conspiracy theory, Harry. People do get murdered, you know? It doesn’t only happen in horror movies,“ Louis insisted.
“I agree with Harry,“ Niall said, “maybe he read a shockingly terribly student essay and, you know… No, sorry, that was actually tasteless, sorry. Payne was a good sport, despite all that homework. I’m just trying to wrap my head around all of it.“
“You’ll see soon enough that I wasn’t just fantasising, I’m sure!“ Louis repeated.
“Okay, Lou, you can say told you so when that happens, alright?“ Harry tried to settle his best friend, “we’re all just in shock, that’s all.“
X X X
The rumours that Mr Payne might not have died a natural death spread all throughout the department like a wildfire. Still, it was expectable, what with Mr Payne still being young and not known to be seriously ill. As could have been expected as well, Louis was in the middle of all the theories, although he didn’t spread his thoughts beyond their friend group.
Only two days after the news had started spreading, Harry saw him in the library, bent over the fat commentary he had fished the sheet of paper out of.
“Busy conspiring again, are we?“ Harry joked when he sat down next to him, setting down his laptop and a few books of his own.
“Yes, and I might even be getting somewhere,“ Louis replied.
Would you like to see this continued? Would you like to see this continued for you?
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A Great Step
Thank you so much for commissioning me again, @breeachuu! Happy Father’s Day! (shh it’s still father’s day somewhere)
Summary: After settling down in Ylisse, Cressida and Owain live their lives leisurely while getting along with their neighbors and friends. Once Cressida starts feeling unwell, Owain thinks he cursed her, when in truth, someone very special was on her way...
Commission info HERE and HERE!
After the initial surprise of Owain and the others' sudden return, slowly did the former companions adjust to a new everyday life in Ylisse.
It was the first time for Owain to live in a peaceful world. His life one filled with fighting, death and survival, he knew he wouldn't be able to abandon the way of the sword in exchange for a truly uneventful life. Which is why he decided to follow in his father's footsteps -- not to be a knight, no, but to help maintain order in the capital as part of the city's guard. He served directly under Frederick, though it was a chore of its own for him to be granted the job in first place.
Lissa wanted to keep him around at the castle, but Owain didn't want to steal the place of little Owi; he knew that this era's Owain would grow up without knowing war and he would need his mother more than anything.
Besides, it would be the first time he'd been living for himself -- and for his wife, Cressida. The prospect of forming a new life, such a distant dream in the past, made his blood boil in excitement.
After much discussion, Frederick, Cressida and Owain managed to convince Lissa to let him live outside the castle, and Chrom was kind enough to arrange for a home at the heart of the capitol (after being pestered day and night by his sister, no less). The house was small and simple, but its coziness always left both Owain's and Cressida's heart a puddle of warmth.
Their own home.
"Let's treat it well," Cressida whispered once, seeing how much work they'd need to go through to make it a livable place. She welcomed it with open hands.
They cleaned the back and front yards, pulled the weeds, showered it with pesticide, plastered the walls, fixed small front gate (one could even jump over it or even over the outer walls for that matter, but everything was so cute they couldn't get rid of it), gave it a thorough paint-over all the while doing small jobs for the old folks living nearby. Soon they had a network of old ladies and gentlemen willing to help them build their dream home: old carpenters would build them chairs, tables or stools to thank them for the service; old seamstresses sewed curtains, bed and table sheets. One of them even gave Cressida a scarf, thinking she would be cold during the winter season (she always used it to go outside, despite barely needing it. Everything was so new, warm and wonderful she couldn't even believe it was her own life).
Slowly but surely did their dream home came to be as Owain fit like a glove for his new job. Since he was well-known in the neighborhood, the friendly elderly people would give him apples and lunch or ask for his colleagues to fetch him so they could send him on errands.
"Owain Dark, in service of the people!" He would always reply to a call, entertaining children and adults alike. They would clap and ask him to do more of his demonstrations and Cressida knew how much he loved the attention.
Truly, his homeworld was the best for them.
After a while, however, Owain couldn't help but want to go back to tapping into his own magical power. Back in Nohr, he would craft potions and do seemingly random rituals to cure fevers or boost their allies' stamina or strength. He knew he still had the aptitude to do so in Ylisse, so after they were done renovating the house, he suggested they planted herbs and sold potions.
Cressida raised an eyebrow. "I already am tending to the back garden with the vegetables we trade around the city. If you tell me how to tend to the herbs, I don't see why not to keep an herb garden at the front yard."
"MIGHTY CRESSIDA!" He beamed, hugging her breath away. "I thought you'd refuse! Thank Naga, haha! I'll ask around for the seeds tomorrow!"
"Ask around?" Cressida coughed, being almost strangled by her husband's strong grip.
He let go without realizing what he was doing, looking up in thought. "Yeah. I'm sure Henry, Tharja, Ricken or Miriel keep one herb garden or two. I'll send Henry and Tharja a bird if I can't find what I need from Miriel or Ricken."
The bow knight smiled softly, enjoying how truly happy her husband had been after they came to Ylisse. She caressed his cheek, making him look at her, bashful. "Remember to ask how to tend to the herbs, too. Almost everything here is different from Nohr or Valla. The care these plants need will of course differ."
"Fear not, Mighty Cressida, for this cursed hand has a green finger in it!" He raised his index, a playful yet proud smile growing over his lips.
"Hah, alright, then." She snickered, nudging her nose on his neck, making him ticklish. "I'll be in your care then, Cursed Green Finger."
"Hey, it's my cursed hand with a green finger in it!" He grumbled with a smile, lifting her head so they could share a kiss.
Ah, truly, life couldn't get any better!
The herb garden was an absolute success, especially around their elderly neighbors. They all needed herbs for colds, back pains or a good tea leaf in general, so they would stop by even more often than before.
Owain also started messing around with potions again -- he managed to invent a hair-growing potion (mentioning how one of his friends with a receding hairline would probably need it someday) and took lessons with Severa's father, Stahl about how to make healing concoctions.
Always a diligent student, Cressida picked it all up rather quickly. Soon she, too, was into potion making. They would often mix the ingredients after Owain came back from his day job, happily talking about the recent events.
A few months passed, turning such meetings part of their daily routine. It was truly pleasant to simply sit back and relax with their beloved while making soothing mixtures.
"What's that you're brewing there, Owain?" Cressida gave her husband the stinky eye one day, looking over his shoulder to the small caldron he mixed a lot of somethings in. The goo inside was purple.
"'Tis a new mixture for stomach ache! Drink this and you'll NEVER have pains in your insides again!"
"... Yeah, 'cause you'll be dead." She coughed, covering her nose. "This smells terri-ughh..." Feeling increasingly nauseated, Cressida scooted away from her husband. "T-take this away, please-"
"C-Cressida! What's wrong? You're pale-" panicking, Owain turned from his goo to his wife.
The bow knight felt her vision spiralling as her insides turned around. The more she breathed, despite covering her nose with her hand, the worse she felt -- curse that disgusting smell! She quickly got up, her uncertain and shaky feet taking her to the latrines.
"Cressida-"
"Get-ugh, get rid of that!" She yelled after throwing up, exhausted from the effort.
"R-right away!" He took the cauldron and dumped the contents inside an old pot, sealing it right after, intent on burying it at the yard.
Breathing heavily, Cressida sat down and weakly watched as he headed outside. "What're you gonna do with this, dummy? You'll poison our soil! Throw it away somewhere instead." She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, resting her head over one arm. "Ugh, I feel terrible."
"I-I'm sorry, Cressida-- I didn't even use a vomit-inducing herb and yet-"
"Urlp- don't talk about that, I'm getting sick again." She curled up over the chair, holding her stomach with her free hand. "Enough potion making for today, take me to bed." She breathed out, too tired to get up and go back to their room.
"At once, my lady." Owain bowed, still feeling guilty, and took his wife on his arms, placing her over the bed with the utmost care. "Do you want me to fetch you a potion-"
"Enough potions," Cressida snorted, regretting it immediately for it riled up her empty and sensitive stomach. "Just give me water... tomorrow." She snuggled on his chest, silently ordering him to stay with her.
Blushing, Owain obeyed. With a sway of his hand, he made a weak wind blow out their candles and snuggled to bed with his wife.
However, what they thought an inconsequential event happened again the morning after.
This time, Cressida woke up and quickly ran to the latrines, throwing up nothing but transparent liquid, since her stomach was empty.
Horrified, Owain ran to the outskirts of the city to throw the cursed pot awain, sparing it a prayer so it would get purified. As much he wanted to stay with her the whole day, Cressida didn't let him miss work because she was feeling light-headed.
Resting all day wasn't becoming of her, but in lieu of what she felt throughout the night, Cressida allowed herself to sleep in until after noon. It apparently did the trick, so she went back to working in the fields after eating.
Owain used his lunch break to run back home and check on his wife, but breathed in relief to see her up and about.
Would she stayed that way forever!
The next day, once again she threw up in the morning, feeling exceedingly tired hours after her stomach settled down. Desperate, Owain was set on calling a proper healer to not only revoke his potion making license but to cure his wife of whatever curse he had placed over her.
"I'm okay, Owain, really. My stomach's just a bit upset because I haven't thrown up in so long. Don't overreact, okay?" She assured him later that evening, preventing him from causing a scene. "I promise I'll wake up feeling better tomorrow."
"Still, I must call a heal- Mother! Mother will know for sure-"
"N-no!" Cressida stuttered. "No need to bother Lady Lissa for something as silly as an upset stomach, c'mon." She patted his arm, making him lie down beside her. "Please? I'm all better now, believe me."
Still worried, Owain said nothing, though his lips pouted adorably. Smiling, Cressida stole a peck at them before turning back to sleep, making him sag his shoulders with relief.
His worries did seem unfounded the following morning: Cressida woke up earlier than him, and full of energy. "What did I tell you?" She smirked, setting the table for breakfast.
"Take it easy today, Mighty Cressida." He said in a serious voice, holding her hand and taking the plate from it to place it on the table. "I can't bear to see you ill again."
Cressida felt her heart tighten with love. How adorable he was when he was worried! "I'll be fine, silly. But thanks for worrying." She reassured, once again stealing a peck from his lips. Owain gripped at the plate for a moment longer before turning back to help her with breakfast.
He begrudgingly left to work, wanting to stay a minute more with Cressida so as to watch over her. She managed to shoo him away, however, and went back to her business to tend to the fields.
Despite actually feeling better that morning, she knew that she wasn't in her usual shape -- doing the slightest of chores tired her out immensely. She managed to keep it together while Owain was there, but right after he was out of her sight, she kneeled on the ground so as to catch her breath.
"What's going on?" Dizzy, she held her head in an attempt to see more clearly. The scorching sun burned her back and arms, making her hyperventilate. "Owain, I'm sorry..." she breathed out, her consciousness fading away.
"Cressida!" She heard her name being called in the distance, as though she was behind a thick glass window.
Worried, Owain had ran back home to check on his wife, known for overworking herself. He caught the exact moment she fell on her knees and passed out, his heart stopping for a solid minute. "CRESSIDA!" He yelled atop of his lungs, quickly scooping her in his arms. Instead of running back home, he took her to the closest healer's clinic in their neighborhood. "P-please, save Cressida!" He asked desperately.
Alarmed, the old woman made Owain place his wife over an empty bed and examined her while asking all sorts of questions. "When did this start? Are you certain that it was the potion? Do you still have it? If so, bring it to me. Was there any other time she felt sick like this? Has she been irritable lately?"
So many random questions they threw Owain off of the loop. He had ran back to the outskirts to grab the cursed pot so the woman could analyze it and was out of breath as she came to a conclusion.
"This is really just stomach medicine. Apart from its foul smell, it's harmless." She concluded, giving the dirty pot back to him. "You said that she felt sick during the mornings, but was it only through this week? Haven't you noticed anything before it? Has she complained about getting bloated-"
"Ah, uh, yeah... I was making that potion because she said her stomach wasn't feeling well recently and that she was bloated for some reason." He replied absent-mindedly, his wide eyes focused on his sleeping wife.
"I can't tell this for certain without properly talking to her, but for now I'll simply tell you that she might be pregnant." The woman said with a faint smile. "Congratulations, Owain, my boy." She patted his shoulder.
"Congra-" He stuttered, his heart cold and his feet falling into a black hole under him. "Child- baby? Mine? Pregn- Cressida?" he mumbled incoherently, not knowing how to react.
He was ashamed to admit that the thought had never crossed his mind, or at least not that soon. He clenched his hands one on the other, his vision darkening around him.
Children? His? Could HE raise a child? After everything he had done to so many people in his life? He took the lives of hundreds all so he himself could keep living.
Look at him; his body was made for fighting -- and even after achieving the long-sought peace, he still chose to follow the way of the sword. His hands were great to take lives and end wars, not raise children.
He avoided spending too long beside his little brother in fears of hurting him or robbing him of his precious time with their mother. He loved being around children, yes, but having one of his own? That… that was a large step. Could he raise, care and lull a baby of his own? Him? With his clumsy hands and theatrical flairs?
He'd been told off over and over throughout his life about 'what a child' he was, or that he had to 'grow up'. Could a child raise another one? Could a child who'd killed many people raise a sinless child?
Owain didn't hear anything else the woman said, nor did he notice when time passed and night fell. The chill in the air made him get up to look at the moon which shone down on the window he was sitting by. "Can these hands even raise something without destroying it?" He whispered as he looked at his open palms under the moonlight.
"What're you talking about? You're so good at growing plants." Cressida breathed out, still a bit out of it. Blinking, she realized she wasn't on their bed. "Where's this?"
Owain felt reality crash down in his chest as his legs trembled and his shoulders fell with the pressure. "Y-you collapsed and..." He hiccuped, turning to her. She widened her eyes. Look at how much pain he had in his expression!
"Owain," Cressida opened her arms, urging him to snuggle on her chest. He choked a sob and sat by the bed, digging his head over her shoulder.
"T-they said that you're p-pregnant." He said under sobs, weakly wrapping his arms around her, mindful of her condition.
Cressida's mouth was left agape in shock. "Pregnant-" She stuttered, torn between being overjoyed and worried. The expression she saw on Owain's face a moment ago wasn't one of happiness, after all. "This is a big step, huh..."
Saying nothing, Owain nodded, sniffling by her chest. "How c-can I raise a child after going through so much death? Am I allowed this happiness?"
Cressida's heart twinged with pain and love. She took one of his hands to her stomach, giggling at how cold both of them were. "If you're unsure of how to feel about this, then why don't we go talk with Sir Frederick tomorrow and ask him how he first felt when he found out he was going to be a father? I'm sure he'll have the answers you're looking for; with him being a knight and all, he'll know what you're feeling."
Owain's breathing steadied for a moment; Cressida knew how highly he thought of his father, after all.
"Besides," she went on, raising her shoulder so he could look at her in the eyes. "I don't know about you, but I can't wait to meet our baby." She bit her lower lip, her heart a jumbled mess of feelings: anxiety, eagerness, fear, love, protectiveness... All for hearing a single sentence.
Pregnancy.
She knew her husband well -- he was overwhelmed by the sudden change and didn't know how to react, but she was sure he would come around to looking forward to it as much as, if not more than, her. They sealed their promise with a quiet kiss, both of them too anxious to fall asleep. Instead, they simply lied in each other's arms over that cramped infirmary bed, their thoughts of the future.
The next day, they left before reveille was announced at the castle for the recruits, intent on finding Frederick before the day properly started.
Owain stumbled upon his words, unsure of how to properly ask something so personal yet so important to him, as his father's child. He blushed deeply once Frederick finally understood what his son meant with the question and Cressida had to jump back for Frederick bear hugged his son immediately. "A child?! Haha! To think I would live to see the day my grandchild is born!" The knight laughed as his tears streamed down his face. "You're with child!" He beamed, quickly scooping Cressida into the hug, squeezing them to the bone-shattering point. "What joy!"
"F-father, c-can't breathe..."
"You'll kill me before your g-grandchild is born..." Cressida gasped, not understanding how Frederick could even HUG someone while wearing that much armor.
"Oh, forgive me." As though he hadn't been crying a second ago, he released them both from his grip, sniffling with pride. "Ah, Owain, my son! This feeling is almost the same as the one I felt the day I met you!"
Owain's head drooped to the side. "Met me? B-but Father, I was asking about when mother was pregn-"
"But don't you see, Son? I was already a father the day I met you! How proud I was to see that my son had grown up to be such a principled and strong young man! I hadn't experienced your conception nor your birthting, indeed, but can you deny that our bonds are just the same, if not stronger, than the ones I hold with your brother?" He patted Owain's shoulder as the younger man tried and failed to keep his tears in check. "You are my true son, Owain, and meeting you that day on the Sage's Hamlet... Seeing you fight so valiantly to protect the weak filled my heart with pride."
"F-father..."
"Being a parent can be tiring and taxing, yes, but it is so much more rewarding in turn! Just by thinking about that small baby fills your heart with strength! Every day do I train harder than the previous one just so I can keep both of you safe." The knight puffed his chest with pride. "You'll feel that with your whole being as you teach and watch your baby grow, I am certain of it."
Owain widened his eyes, the tears stopping. "The legend..." He whispered, making Cressida and Frederick both bend over to listen in. "The legend... WILL... LIVE ON!! UWOOOOOH!" He yelled to the sky above, starling wife and father both. "MIGHTY CRESSIDA!" He picked her up and lifted her towards the sky, as he did years ago when they came back home. "WE'LL BE THE ONES TO CONTINUE WITH THE LEGENDARY GENERATION I THOUGHT LOST ON ME! OUR BABY IS TRULY THE CHOSEN ONE!" He twirled her around, laughing as she covered her mouth with both hands so as not to be swept by his enthusiasm and scream as well.
"Let's raise he or she well, yes?" She managed to level her voice amidst all the twirling, prompting Owain to put her on the floor and wrap his arms around her shoulders.
"... Yes. Yes, let's make this baby happy with everything we have. We'll... learn together." He felt his eyes once again burn with tears.
"As it should be," Cressida herself couldn't hold back her emotion any longer, but a noise coming from behind caught their attention.
"Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait..." A voice said over and over like a chant. "WAITAMINUTE! YOU'RE PREGNANT?!" Lissa pointed from the door, little Owain in tow. She didn't wait for them to reply, however. "I'M... I'M GONNA BE A GRANDMOTHER? BUT I <JUST> GAVE BIRTH TO YOU!"
"Mom, I'm not a baby! I'm 5 already!" Little Owain puffed his chest, not understanding what was going on.
"SEE? A BABY!" She ignored when Owain commented that she hadn't given birth to him. "A BABY! HAVING ANOTHER BABY! FREDERICK!"
Smiling, the knight simply turned to his small and loud wife, taking her extended hand.
"I NEED TO MOVE IN WITH THEM!" Desperate, her eyes were spinning. "A baby having another baby!!"
"M-moooom!" Owain protested under his wife's loud laughter. Cressida could barely wait to meet her and Owain's child!
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please don’t get your hopes up on this one i ended up leaving my passion to write to simmer too long and it ended up –> :\
so that child looks an awful lot like me and I may have been away for more than a year on an order mission but is this reAL lily? / vs @acciododie
people keep shooting him odd looks, some purposefully blank, like if they talk too loudly he might break. he’d like to believe he’s made of stronger stuff than that, but it’s not like he’d have spent three days surrounded by healers if everyone and their mother wasn’t worried about him.
he hadn’t walked away scarred. he considers himself luckier than most.
the look remus gives him when they pull out of their warm embrace, however, is worrying, and james braces himself for the other shoe to drop. but all remus does is give him a pat on the shoulder and a firm nod. whatever it is can’t be all that bad. peter’s probably moved all their furniture three centimetres to the left.
“bet your life became a real drag without us to liven things up, huh.” james’s smile stretches wide, and he flings his arm over sirius’s shoulder.
“oh yes. this war has been terribly boring without all your awful puns.”
“i guess you could say it’s tanked.”
remus shakes his head.
“you’re just not used to them anymore. give me a week.”
“i’ll give you all the time in the world.”
“i hope that wasn’t a marriage proposal.” james says. “speaking of marriage proposals, who wants to come surprise lily with me?”
peter mutters something about her having a surprise of her own, but james doesn’t catch that part.
“it’s you she wants to see,” remus says, ever the voice of reason. “maybe sirius if she’s feeling particularly hopeless.”
“she doesn’t even know we’re here. who the fuck cares.” sirius runs his fingers through his hair as if he’s doing them all a massive favour just by existing. james is the only one who would argue that he is. “i think she’d kick my teeth in for disappearing in the first place.”
james rubs his fingers back and forth against his lips, a habit he never notices and a habit no one else ever points out. the mere mention of her has scraped something raw inside of james. “yeah, after she’s done kicking mine in.”
sirius shrugs him off. “anyone gonna get this lovesick fool out of here? i’ve had to listen to him whine about her for months.” he rubs his ears, catching james’s gaze. “reckon i’ve got some kind of permanent damage going on now. i’m expecting some kind of compensation.”
“does my love and affection count?”
“go.”
there’s another round of hugs before peter pulls him aside. “i have to show you something.”
“please godric tell me it’s not your dick.”
peter goes to pull something out of his pocket, and out of panic, james stops him. peter raises a brow as sharp as a razor. “it’s a piece of parchment.”
“oh. proceed.”
he hands a scrap of parchment over to james, who opens it to see a scrawled address. “okay. what am i supposed to do with this?”
“remember it.”
“remembered.”
“and, uh, go there?”
“oh, yeah. i guess that’s what people normally do with addresses. cheers.”
he still doesn’t really understand, but he thanks peter again and does as he’s told. when james gets there, he finds himself standing at the front door to a quaint, stone cottage, and he knows in his heart that this is where lily is. the yellow curtains are also a dead giveaway.
james knocks against the door, three times in a rapid succession. he hears the flurry of movement inside – then again, that could just be his heart thrumming against his ribs. what he feels is less hope and more certainty. lily is here. lily is behind this door. a year apart has done nothing to lessen his feelings for her; in fact, it feels like the first time all over again.
the door opens.
lily hadn’t known what to say when he told her he had an order mission. he’d been adamant that it’d only be a few months at most, that it was nothing to worry too much about – because she’d been doing a lot of that: worrying – and that it was a war they all had to fight in. she couldn’t help but feel like he was leaving her behind, but she didn’t dare voice that.
her heart had shuttered. every breath she took made her passages hurt. lily felt fear; that he wouldn’t return. she felt guilt; for wanting him to stay. she felt sympathy; that he would have to go.
so of course, two weeks after he had walked out the door for probably the last time, she had the sneaking suspicion that something was very, very wrong.
“can i borrow your nail polish?” dorcas had said, not waiting for an answer and unscrewing the top. “i think green could be my new colour.”
“you’re more of a blue.” lily had replied absent-mindedly. she’d, of course, been experiencing stomach problems that she’d insisted were nothing more than mild. she lay on her back, staring at the ceiling.
dorcas had scrunched up her nose. “i thought so too, but i want to reinvent myself, you know? i was lying in bed last night and i realised that we could die any day now, and if we do, i want to be wearing something green.”
“why green?”
“i heard if you wear green when you die you get reincarnated as a monkey.”
lily’s snort was faint. “where’d you hear that?”
dorcas shrugged. “dunno. but it’s worth a shot, isn’t it?”
“what if they got it wrong and you came back as a troll?”
“i think that wouldn’t be so bad.”
lily’s reply was lost when she clamped a hand to her stomach. her body ached when she rolled off the bed to sprint to the bathroom. thankfully, the flat james had left her in was small enough for it to be six steps before she hit the loo.
she was vaguely aware of dorcas standing in the doorway, trying to airdry her nails. “jeez, lils, are you sure you’re not pregnant?”
and so it went like this: lily was, in fact, pregnant. ten weeks, even. she had her proper freakout, considered all her options, and then had remus and dorcas drag her to all her proper medical appointments as if they were her legal guardians. it all went rather smoothly, save for the fact that james wasn’t there, she had a baby on her hands in the midst of an entire war that she was probably going to die in, and there was some kind of prophecy that put a target on her child’s back.
oh, and she got a cat.
lily’s face is unreadable when she opens the door and lays sight on him for the first time in over a year. fear wells up in james’s chest, then –
“what did you say to me on our last day of hogwarts?”
“i said a lot of th– oh, that growing up i had a crush on lady in lady and the tramp and that you were the perfect lady to my tramp.”
lily’s cool expression melts away, and she flings her arms around his neck.
lily has always been aware that she gives the best hugs when she isn’t trying, so she tries not to try. not when this is supposed to be important – not when it’s the first time she’s seen him in a year and two months.
“do we need to have the whole ‘i thought you were dead’ talk?”
james presses her head to his neck gently, laughing softly against her. “if you want.”
lily doesn’t want to pick this apart. she just wants to take this moment and know that he’s here, with her. “you have a lot of explaining to do either way.” as does she. she pulls back, smiling a brilliant smile.
“can i do it inside? not that your front door isn’t very lovely. what is this place, anyway?”
“the flat was too small,” she says tersely, taking him by the hand to pull him through the door. there’s a moment of quiet confusion, and then she just shakes her head. “i don’t want to ruin this whole thing with a massive info-dump. tea?”
“i come back from a war and you offer me tea?” his brows skyrocket. “yeah, alright.”
there is such deep tension in a war. an ever-present pressure against your chest, bad enough that you think of tearing it out.
but sometimes you need someone else to tear it out for you.
she’s halfway to the kitchen when something cries out – james flinches; lily winces. james is quick to correct himself, however. it’s not something: it’s someone.
“uh.”
lily places her hands against the counter slowly, bracing herself for the inevitable.
the crying starts again, louder this time. everything in his mind is searing with white light. because james is not stupid. it should not change anything, that is what james wants to believe. he had left for a war and the world did not stop and stay still for him to do so. that is what this realisation means.
lily takes to the stairs, not even looking at him. he hasn’t even realised he’s followed her up until he finds himself at the doorway of a nursery; the walls a pale yellow and the curtains blue with little trains dotted along it.
“he’s yours,” she says after a while. “in case you couldn’t tell.”
james doesn’t have enough time to think, not enough time to do. he tries to focus, just a bit, to drink in the unruly, dark hair of the baby in her arms, the eyes that are so obviously lily’s, the confused expression on the child’s face.
“mine?” the word feels strange on his tongue.
“i didn’t...” lily’s gaze flickers to his, still cradling the baby against her. “i didn’t want to worry you while you were gone.”
“you did this on your own?” he asks a bit breathlessly.
“i have friends other than you, you know.” she smiles. “do you want to hold him?”
he nods a bit too desperately. “what’s his name?”
her smile turns wry. “i thought it’d be utterly ridiculous to name him after his father. so i made james his middle name.” she holds the baby out to him. “you do know how to hold a baby, right?”
“yes i know how to hold a fucking baby – wait, can he understand me? am i not allowed to swear?”
i don’t know how to finish this i don’t know how babies work and my momther got really suspicious when i kept asking her pregnancy related questions please feel free to finish the rest of this off for me xo
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Second Round of Claims
Now that all the stories have been claimed once, we can open up for a second round of claims. To submit the claim, send an email with your top two favourites to [email protected].
You will be the secondary artist on these bangs and so the first artist will get priority over which scenes they want to produce art of. If you are both happy to produce art of the same scene then al the better!
1. Title: HandShook
Summary: “Get me a handshake, Tony, that’s it. Don’t break anything and please do not turn this into an interspecies war.” -James Rhodes
Tony Stark is the first man in the history of the human race to breach the heliosphere keeping space-faring humanity from the rest of the universe. Bucky’s people, the Aldori, a technologically advanced, space-faring race, watch him do it. The Aldori demand a meeting to establish diplomatic relations and determine whether or not humans will prove to be a threat to them. Without letting the Aldori know that only Tony’s ship is advanced enough to make the trip, Rhodey is forced to send him as ambassador.
Simple right? Except the handshake Tony is supposed to capture on film for Rhodey is intensely intimate to the Aldori.
The Aldori decide to go through with it. Their people are at war and they need these humans, who are apparently so advanced that they can skip through ‘The Trench,’ to either join their cause, or, at worst, remain neutral.
They’ve married off royalty for political alliances before. It’s a good thing Prince Bucky came back from the war only partially damaged. He’s perfect for an alliance with an untested race of people.
Current word count: 21,637
Warnings: (1) Bucky and Tony engage in an act of public handshaking which within the world would be roughly the equivalent of public nudity/a public sex act (2) Bucky forms an accidental mind meld with Tony as a result of a really good handshake--bare hands touching is very intimate for his people. Tony doesn't know about this for a very brief time. During which he 'feels' Bucky's feelings for him which are predominantly affectionate. -the mind-meld may result in telepathic sex which hasn't been written yet. (So: Tony engages in an intimate act without knowing it's considered intimate. Bucky accidentally Bonds with him, creating a mental connection as a result. Pseudo accidental marriage. Light (I think?) Dub con of the making someone else feels your romantic feeling for them type.)
2 Title: Tony’s New Friend (working title) Summary: When Tony is forced to come home for his summer break at MIT, he thinks it is going to be a disaster. He’s right. But it also ends up being a lot more exciting than he thought too. Who says urban exploring is a bad thing? Current word count: 14432
Warnings: None A/N: It’s not finished yet, but I’ll have a better summary/more finished by time you pick it. Promise. (This is turning out longer than I thought)
3 Title: No Title Yet/Canon-Divergent from CA:WS
Summary: After helping Natasha and Steve with the Project Insight fuck up, Tony agrees to help with their Winter Soldier problem. Namely, find the man and keep him non-hypnotisable. But of course the Winter Soldier, being the Winter Soldier, finds Tony first.
Current word count: 5.181
Warnings: Maybe some gnarly description of the connection between the metal arm and Bucky’s skin. Nothing too bad, but I guess caution is best. There might be a scene of adjusting a new arm, but since I am no doctor, I don’t know how detailed I will describe that yet.
A/N: This is a canon-divergent fic, that has Steve, Nat, and Sam ask Tony for help with the Helicarriers instead of, you know, dumping all of SHIELD’s info online xD Steve tells Tony about his parents and Tony, taking a few days to deal with it, then decides to help him with the Winter Soldier, thus creating BARF sooner, with Helen Cho and Bruce Banner (so no Quentin Beck). Bucky in the meantime, having managed to evade HYDRA, finds him because the arm needs repairs.
4 Title: The Daemon In Me (tentatively)
Summary: Tony Stark is, as far as he knows, the only person who can see daemons, a manifestation of a person’s soul that, naturally, shares their Mark.
Several years after his parents’ deaths, Obadiah Stane arrives to inform him that Howard had arranged a marriage for him, and it’s time to meet his prospective husband. There’s just one tiny hitch.
The groom doesn’t have the same Mark as his daemon.
Current word count: 5050-ish
Warnings: Implied/referenced child abuse, Howard’s A+ parenting, alternate universe – daemons, alternate universe – soulmarks, implied/referenced arranged marriage
A/N: This is definitely alternative universe but it’s incredibly vague on details of such. It’s also not finished yet, but Tony and Bucky will definitely meet, beat the bad guys and end up happily ever after (I can’t be more specific, because this was supposed to have been a completed fic).
5 Title: The Tangled Tale of Winteriron
Summary: Prince James was born to the kingdom of Brooklyn via the miracle of a magic flower. Kidnapped at a young age, his best friend and betrothed Steve Rogers tears the kingdom apart to find him.
A thief named Iron Man is currently on the run from the king’s guards. Hiding in a secluded tower, he finds himself tied up by a young man with a whole lot of… hair?
Current Word Count: approximately 9500 words
Warnings: Emotional manipulation and abuse
A/N:
6 Title: Winter Witcher (may change) Summary: Twenty years ago, the Witcher Bucky rescued the King and Queen of Stark from a monster that had moved into their castle. Pressed to name a reward above and beyond the coin he’d been promised, he claimed the Law of Surprise, electing to let destiny choose his prize. Before he could return to find out what it was that he’d won, another monster locked him in ice. Tony of Stark has always known that his marriage would be a political one, but he’s discovered that his betrothed and his chief counselor are conspiring against him. Left with no time to plan an escape and isolated from his few loyal friends, Tony’s desperation and determination unlock a conduit of chaos within him that takes him far, far away, right into the arms of his destiny. Current word count: ~25,000 (finished but unedited) Warnings: Dubcon (sex drug/magic) A/N: This draft is complete, but if our artist has additional ideas, we’re happy to discuss how to work them in! This is basically “Episode 1” of what might turn into a whole series of stories, but as this is the “pilot” episode, it should stand on its own.
7 Title: Your eyes aren’t rivers there to weep (But a place for crows to rest their feet)
Summary: Bucky sat up slowly, pain throbbing from his temple to the nape of his back specifically. “You’re an absolute idiot, you know that? Didn’t you know your AI can’t detect magical traps?”
“Oh sure, ‘cause we fight many villains who like to hide portals in the floor? You’re a bigger idiot for following me, Barnes.”
-or-
Tony disobeys orders during a mission and causes him and Bucky to fall through Doom’s time travel portal, forcing them to survive together in a tropical rainforest, to their utter reluctance.
Current word count: 11 800
Warnings: None
A/N: This is an unedited WIP! I added the outline for what I plan for the reminder of the story at the end. :)
8 Title: Wings in my Soul (Stars in my Eyes)
Summary: After being spaced when his ship is destroyed, Bucky assumes his life on the run is over. His life is unexpectedly saved by one of the most advanced spaceships he’s ever seen, and the sentient AI running it. T-0N33 is so real, Bucky quickly finds himself questioning how thin the line is between machine and man. Together, they flee from HYDRA’s spreading influence and the megalomaniac Technopath, Zola. Throughout space battles and hijinks, they ask themselves: Can an AI have a soul and more importantly, can they fall in love?
Current word count: 7,838
Warnings: Nongraphic violence
A/N: ^o^ gay bois in SPAAAAAAACE
9 Title: Here, There and Neverwhere
Summary: After a long quiet night at the pub, Bucky was ready to have a simple night in. However, as fate deals its hand, Bucky gets dragged into a series of events that pulls him out of his new normal to a game where Gods and magic reign supreme. A handsome and charming magician Tony helps Bucky stack his deck, granting him a chance to survive.
When the wheel of fortune spins, will the odds be in their favour?
Current word count: 5086
Warnings: Canon typical violence
A/N: Rating is currently T but could go up to M or E
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The Raven King, Chapter 14 – A Few Cheerful ‘Hell Yeah‘s, Followed By A Swift ’Hell Fucking Nope’
In which I am too invested in Orange Cheerleading, Neil is an Oblivious Gay™, the Foxy Team Spirit gains bonus XP, we meet the awesomeness that is Fearless Neil Josten and everything goes so pleasantly well that I really should have seen the bone-chilling fuckery at the end coming.
Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Raven King.
I am prefacing this by saying that this is probably my second favourite chapter of this book so far. It may even be on a par with my previous favourite chapter, the Neil Sassing Riko To Hell And Back At The Fall Banquet chapter.
There is GOOD SHIT HAPPENING!! Finally!! And when the bad shit happens it’s still SASSY!! And AWESOME!! And then it’s fucking terrifying but like – what else is new.
I really, really liked this one. And I feel like I’m going to need that bit of love for the next two chapters, which are promising to be 50 Shades of Fucked Up.
Let’s go.
“When Andrew finds out you’ve stolen his car,” Matt started, but left the rest of the threat unspoken.
“Andrew knows,” Neil said. “He left me his key.”
Matt stared at him, startled. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.
Homeboy can’t believe it I am HOLLERING.
The Foxes slowly realizing that Neil is starting to get through Andrew’s shell is such, such a delight.
Neil being entirely oblivious about it is an even greater one.
Also, Matt is going to start teaching Neil how to fight! Yay for self-defense! <3
Now that Katelyn is kind of not a secret anymore, she starts hanging around with the Foxes, apparently. Will I start liking this character, finally?
Katelyn seemed nervous at first, but she warmed up quickly and chatted almost nonstop through dinner. She was so enthusiastic about apparently everything in the world it was a little exhausting listening to her, but Aaron looked so alive in her presence Neil couldn’t hold it against her.
FUCK YES I WILL.
This is such a small detail, but I actually had to put the book down at that part and just silently contemplate life for a bit because honestly – few sentences have described me as well as “She was so enthusiastic about apparently everything in the world it was a little exhausting listening to her.”
I feel this so much, you have no idea.
Of course, that means I have adopted this character now, she’s in my heart and there are no take-backs. <3
Being newly invested in Katelyn also means being newly invested in Orange Cheerleading, and this is the point where all the info I have soaked up via my cheer-loving best friends really comes in handy.
This is a very good visual for what the Vixens would look like at a Fox game – the squad in the video is Clemson University which is TFC is based on!
And this is Clemson’s cheer championship routine from last year, which is infinitely more awesome than a game routine because it’s made for their own championship, not for someone else’s game, and it really shows off what a team can do.
Keep in mind though that this team is co-ed (meaning both men and women), and as far as we know the Vixens are an all-girl team, which means they’d have considerably less partner stunts (one person on one person) and more group stunts (one person on four, three or two people).
Also, this is their uniform and now one can tell me otherwise.
Brb making an orange bow to wear to our next cheer event.
Info dump done! Let’s move on!
“We should celebrate,” [Dan said.] (…)
Aaron looked at [her] as if she’d grown three heads. “We don’t socialize with you.”
“You do tonight,” Matt said. “Tell Katelyn to come. (…) The Vixens can come too.”
HELL FUCKIN YEAH, BONUS XP FOR THE FOXY TEAM SPIRIT.
I am so for all of them having fun party times together that a) don’t involve going to Eden’s Twilight and b) involve all of them.
Also, I am so, so for the Foxes and the Vixens finally being friends.
Seriously, there are few things as shitty as ignoring the people who cheer on you every night no matter how bad you are, and I can’t believe we’ve never addressed this until now.
BE NICE TO YOUR CHEERLEADERS, FUCKERS.
“Thanks for taking one for the team, Neil,” [Nicky said.] “You’re a real friend.” (…)
“Are we?”, he asked. (…) Tonight it almost meant something, though what, Neil didn’t know. “Friends?”
Oh my goooooooooooood literally HOW.
“It almost meant something” I am going to punch this idiot so hard his angst will finally come shooting out of his oblivious ass.
“You’re going to be the absolute death of me,” Nicky said. “Yeah, kid. We’re friends. You’re stuck with us, like it or not.”
Nicky, my man, my sunshine, thank you for finally saying this to Sir Angstlord McDramatic, also I’m crying a lil.
I was already so happy about that scene, I thought we were done with our quota of good things for this chapter, but no – Thanksgiving happens somewhere along the way, and it’s not The Thanksgiving That Shall Not Be Named, but Happy And Sappy Abby Thanskgiving, where the food and the feels are plentiful.
“It’s not really about the food. It’s about family. Not necessarily the one we were born with, but the one we chose. This one,” Nicky emphasized, gesturing between them. “The people we trust to be part of our lives. The people we care about.”
“I’m trying to eat here,” Wymack said.
Wymack <3
Also, NICKY <333333333333
Brb, crying a lot.
Kevin later offers to not drink wine after dinner so Neil can have some, which neil declines, but which still makes me grin like a sappy motherfucker because Kevin offered to do something nice for Neil.
I feel like I’m in a happy fanservice episode of an anime. Is this real, am I witnessing this shit with my own two eyes?
Somehow [the Foxes] all ended up at the dining hall at the same time. (…) On Tuesday Katelyn tagged along, and on Wednesday they went downtown together as a large group: all eight remaining Foxes and four of the Vixens.
👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit
At the restaurant, this girl Marissa starts hounding Neil, and absolute hilarity ensues as Neil tries to not talk to her or at least talk to her about Exy, and she wants to talk about everything but Exy.
Absolute lack of chemistry nonwithstanding, she still chats him up after dinner:
“I can give you my number,” Marissa said.
Neil didn’t remember asking for it at any point that night. “What for?”
How is this boy real. HOW.
“I would like to get to know you better. I think we could have a lot of fun together, just the two of us. You’re very interesting, Neil.”
She wasn’t the first to say that, but Neil wondered if Andrew’s opinion of him would change when he was off his medication.
OH MY GOD.
I AM HOWLING.
Neil: gets blatantly obviously hit on by pretty girl Neil:…………………….. Neil: hmm I wonder what Andrew would think about this
Honestly………………. This is the most I C O N I C Andreil scene to this point, and 50% of Andreil aren’t even present.
“There’s a way to let girls down gently, you know.” (…)
“Do girls need kid-glove treatment? I thought they were tougher than that.”
Dan’s grin was approving. “Most of us are. Some of us are like boys, though, and have delicate egos.”
Shoutout to Dan for coming around to remind me how much of a flawless sass queen she is whenever I dare to forget it.
Also: Renee is going to be Neil’s platonic winter banquet date! Dan and Matt are getting each other cute shit for Christmas! Matt invited Neil and the cousins to his home over Christmas!
I am currently bathing in a golden pool of my own happy tears, please leave me here for all eternity and supply food occasionally.
However, if anyone thought it would all stay happy and banter-y now they must have been reading than me, because Nora is waiting right around the corner to snatch me the fuck out of my happy pool:
It’s time for another Fancy Orange Sportsball Banquet, including our friends from Tall, Dark and Dramatic University.
Thankfully, our boy Neil has one thing in common with fandom by now, and that is being ready to protect Kevin at all costs.
“Neil” might be an easily-spooked runaway, and “Nathaniel” was a hunted young man, but “Abram” was the one shielded from and untouched by his father’s bloody business. Neil would pull on every murder he’d ever seen and every endless, desperate night, and he’d face Riko unflinching.
This is yet another wonderful, wonderful development in Neil where I cannot begin to tell you how much I like it. But more on that in a minute.
First, another point on the list of Things That Absolutely No One Saw Coming, and By No One I Mean Everyone.
“The following four teams have qualified to represent the southeastern district in spring championship games. I will list them in order of ranking, first to fourth. Edgar Allan, Palmetto State, Breckenridge, Belmonte.”
Aka the only teams we have seen the Foxes play against so far. What a surprise.
Also, I did mention that Neil and Renee are going as platonic dates, right?
Did I also mention how much I love Renee for going on platonic dates with people?? Bc same?? Also I love her??
“Sorry,” Neil said.
Renee sent him a curious look. “Why?”
“I’m no trying to ignore you.”
“It’s all right if you do,” Renee said. “Kevin needs you more than I do.”
I love you :( <333
Also, hate to say this, but homegirl is right.
“Your lack of survival instincts is supremely distressing,” Riko said. “Take that look off your face before I carve it off.”
That Fucker™ is back, everyone, and as always ready to supply us all with shitty input exactly no one asked for.
Neil hadn’t realized he was smiling, too, a cruel look he’d inherited from his father. Neil lowered his cup so Riko could get a better look at it. “I would love to see you try. You think I’m afraid of your knife? I’m the Butcher’s son.”
HELL FUCKIN YEAH.
After having met Angsty Dramatic Runaway Neil Josten, Sassy Lil Shit Neil Josten, and recently Responsibly Neil Josten, may I now introduce you to my newest favourite Neil Josten:
Fearless Neil Josten.
“I am the family your father was afraid of.” (…)
“Not of you,” Neil said, with fierce emphasis. “You’re not part of that family, remember? You’re the cast-off.”
Oh yeah, also Fearless Neil Josten is Sassy Lil Shit Neil Josten’s meaner twin brother.
GET FUCKED, RIKO.
He hoped it would hit, but he didn’t realize how deep it would cut. He’d never seen that look on Riko’s face but he knew he’d signed his death warrant.
Oops.
“A dog who bites his master’s hand deserves to be slaughtered.” (…)
“I am not a dog. I’m a Fox.”
“You are nothing but what I tell you to be.”
“We talked about your delusions.”
Neil, as much as I am enjoying your witty comebacks At All Times, I sagely advise you to shut the fuck up right about now.
“Let go of me, King.”
“I am King,” Riko agreed, “and you are going to spend Christmas at my castle. You’re coming to Evermore for winter break.”
I would have loved to dish out a few amused comments here in the style of lol, dream on Mr Fuckface Dramatic – however thanks to y’all I have been told time and time again that there was absolute shit going down on Christmas.
Which means that now I am not amused. I am incredibly scared.
“Drake was an interesting man, wasn’t he? I should thank the police for leading me straight to him. I might not have discovered him otherwise. Did you know, Nathaniel? Oakland lawyers are some of the cheapest to buy off.”
He set Andrew up. He set. Andrew. Up.
That FUCKER. I knew there was going to be a reason why Drake was there at that point exactly.
THAT FUCKER.
“Did you know I’ve bought one of the doctors at Eastaven, too? Unless you want these little therapy sessions of his to turn into therapeutic reenactments, you will be on a plane to West Virginia tomorrow morning.”
THAT FUCKING FUCKER.
I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
I will personally punch him in his shit-eating face – no, wait.
Neil didn’t have words, so he answered with his fist. He didn’t have a lot of room to swing but he made do and caught Riko right in his vulgar mouth.
NEIL will punch him in his shit-eating face.
I have been waiting for this since we first bloody met That Fucker™. I am living.
A short brawl ensues, which Neil would have totally won imo if the Coaches wouldn’t have separated them.
As it is, though, the Raven Posse is out of sight, though definitely not out of mind.
“What happened?”
“Neil hit Riko,” Matt said. “It was beautiful.”
“What?” Nicky squawked. “Not fair! I missed it! Go do it again.”
I am actually laughing so hard. Nicky, you are the best.
Neil explains the situation to the team – how Riko used the promise of getting Drake’s charges dismissed as bait for him to come see Andrew one more time – and then continues being unexpectedly and brilliantly badass.
“I’m going to kill him,” Nicky said.
“No,” Neil said, with a ferocity that had even Matt eyeing him warily. “We’ve got to break him first. If Exy is the only thing he cares about we’re going to take it away from him. First we destroy his reputation, then we destroy him.”
Have I mentioned how Fearless Neil Josten is my fucking FAVE.
“I don’t want us to lose a single game this spring. Can we do that?”
“Not a single damn game,” Dan said in a hard voice.
Hell yeah.
“I don’t have a choice. I have to go. You have to trust me.”
“He will break you.”
“He wishes he knew how,” Neil said. “Trust me. I promise I’ll come back, and when I do I’ll bring Andrew back with me. It’s going to be fine. So do you have my ticket or not?”
Hell fucking nope.
Is this happening?
This is the fuck happening.
Oh dear.
If you like this and you wanna help me continue writing, please consider buying me a coffee! Thank you so much <3
#nicki reads tfc#trk#tfc#aftg#the raven king#the foxhole court#all for the game#nora sakavic#only two more chapters to go!!!!#im scared#and I know I'm not ready trust me I KNOW y'all keep fucking TELLING ME
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Old School Assignment
I have discovered a copy of a story I wrote for a class assignment. The class was Driver’s Education which our teacher attempted to make fun by making our homework a report on a fictional road trip we would take, once we could drive. The road trip had to take place over at least 1000 miles and we had to track distances on a map and make notes on how much the trip would cost, amount of gas, etc.
I wrote the most melodramatic (shocker, coming from me, right?) trite, piece of condescending, cringeworthy, cliched trash. (In my very minimal defense, this was REALLY not my area of writing at the time. In all honesty this was a good example of how I did, and for the most part, still do write.)
I present, for your entertainment (with notes on reactions to reading this by my current, adult self in italics) my Driver’s Education Road Trip Story.
Intro: Basically, we robbed a bank. I won't bore you with the details, because that's not what you want to hear. Yeah, obviously. So I will regale you with the story of the interesting part, the chase. *facepalm* We could have headed for Canada afterwards, we were, after all, only about 50 miles from the Canadian border. But we were young, and obviously, desperate for adventure.
Between my partner's '00 Viper and my '97 Corvette, the choice was obvious, but then the Viper broke down and we had to take the Vette. Ha, bait and switch with all the finesse of a sophomore. I will describe my Corvette in detail, because it was a major part in one of the more momentous times in my life, and it's like will never be seen again. And because part of the assignment was to specify WHICH car you were driving and I had discovered that setting was necessary, but not HOW to achieve it, so what follows is just an incredibly painful info dump. It was Fairway Green with golden yellow metal flake. From one angle it was golden, another, Fairway Green. Because I have shitty, shitty taste, and want so badly to stand out as different. It was the most gorgeous car I have seen to this day. The interior was grey elk skin leather, softer than silk. Not sure why this particular odd detail has been included. Also, did this option come standard from Chevrolet, or was this weird-ass interior something I needed badly enough to have installed custom? I had dual control AC, electric passenger seats, position memory, pac, I don't know what PAC stands for. a 12 disc CD changer, 6 speed shift , z51 performance handling and the best floormats you've ever seen. "This detail shows how crazy and unique I am! LULZ" *facepalm*
Day 1: We had everything packed and ready to go. We got the money, a cool 10 mil, and were out of town by 9:00. Knowing they'd guess we were headed for Canada we headed over the pass. We couldn't stop to get anything to eat because we needed to hold our lead over the cops. I did a double take at this random detail in the middle of this story, but I part of the assignment was to account for food costs, I can only assumed stopping the story to assure the audience that I was taking nutrition into account was motivated by this. No car can outrun the radio, but you can hide. *CRINGE*
The sandwiches out of the cooler were ok. My partner made them because I was driving and I was glad I'd insisted we didn't make them ahead of time, they would have been way soggy. Another "I am edgy and hilarious" detail.
In Seattle we bought tickets to ride the ferry at 1:00 to a town where my mom's family lives. We used the opportunity to ditch the car for awhile and confuse the pursuit more. So we hung out with my cousins and aunts and uncles for about 4 hours. Then we decided we'd better go, if we were going to make it to Olympia in time to get enough sleep. This is going to be where I explain an important detail about myself. I suffer from Dyschronometria (The inability to tell how much time has passed) and at 16 I had not yet been diagnosed. So my wildly inaccurate time estimates are a result of having to 100% guess how long everyday activities take.
We got to Olympia in about two hours, but there was a bit of an argument when we had to drive around for an hour looking for my sister's house. I was accused of having planned badly. I told my partner if she'd prefer to drive, she was welcome to it. I was bluffing. Not only did my partner have less idea where my sister's house was, I wasn't about to let someone else behind the wheel of my car. Finally we got there. Hiding the car in their garage while getting treated to dinner by my sister. We went to bed at 9:00 I'm going to blame our going to sleep after 12 hours on the Dyschronometria.
Also, yes, we stopped to sleep over while running from the cops. I, at 16 was not really clear on what a police chase entailed. Like, you know, any police being involved at any point.
Here is the summary of our day, as necessitated by the assignment. Gas: 13.50 Time: 6 hours Food: Free Mileage: 270 Misc: 7 dollars for ferry Total out of Trip Fund: 20.50
Day 2: Waking at 7:00, we took an hour to leave my sister's house, then breakfast took an hour. We finally got on the road at 9:00. No rush, guys.
We were innocently getting deli food at a gas station just past Medford when a pair of cops waltzed in. One nudged his partner and indicated my partner and I. I nudged MY partner and said it was time to go. I actually like this set of lines and use similar ones to this day. My partner heartily agreed. Excuse to use pretentious language. We scooted around behind the dried snacks. Nothing suspicious here, just two girls looking for dried fruit. They followed us. They cornered us against the donut stand and started asking where we were from, which car was ours, and if we'd seen who arrived in the Corvette outside.
Alaska, we told him, we drove in the VW Bug. The Corvette? Some hot guy who went into the bathroom. Thirsty. While the cops asked around, we headed out the door, my partner had the presence of mind to run back and grab our change and food. OMG, really. We nearly jumped into the Bug when my partner thought the cops were coming. I like this detail. We flipped around and headed to Medford, where we watched a 3 hour movies called Shadow Warriors. Shameless self promotional name dropping of the sci-fi novel I was writing at the time. By the time I am robbing banks for a living, my novel has a successful Hollywood screen adaptation. I am still desperate enough for money to rob banks. We got rooms to stay in and spent an hour playing Marco Polo with some cute guys in the pool. Thirsty and not clear on grown-up hotel behavior. Then my partner talked at my for half an hour about the movie while I was trying to sleep. It was a good movie, but it was very annoying when my partner finished her thought and went to sleep while I was up thinking about what I had thought of it. Bitch. She was always doing that. So I only got 9 hours of sleep that night. You know, instead of the usual 12.
Gas: 16.50 Time: 7 hours Food: 20.00 Mileage: 340 Misc: 14$ for movie tickets, 5$ for snacks. Total out of Trip Fund: 55.50 +hotel= 49$ Hotel 49$ was written off to the side in the margin. Apparently I forgot that hotels don't let you stay for free, until the re-read.
Day 3: Again it took us two hours to get on the road. Well, the run from the cops has gotten us out of the state already, why slow this mad dash for the border? We spend an uneventful 6 hours driving to Brentwood to my other sister's house. We all decided to spend the rest of the day in San Francisco. All here suggests we took my sister and her family with us. We rode the B.A.R.T. and it took an hour. We visited Fisherman's Wharf, where my partner and I got knocked into the water by a large seagull, "Look, what a crazy, unexpected detail!" the Starlight Room, which was dull with no guys, Thirsty. and a local production of Hamlet, where the actor playing Hamlet fell in my partner's lap. Why? He and his friend, a stagehand, as it turned out would have been great company at the Starlight Room. Thirsty, though, weirdly, I guarantee you, I was the one who ended up with the stagehand. After that we rode the streetcars with them. So apparently at no point did my sister or her family exist on this trip we all took into the city. Then we had to go back to my sister's house to sleep. Because it had been 12 hours since we woke up.
Gas: 14.00 Time: 8 hours Food: 221$ Mileage: 275 Misc: 9 $ for subway tickets, 20$ to see Hamlet, a kiss and 100$ for the Starlight room. This detail alarmed me when I re-read this. Had to pay a kiss to get into the Starlight room. Bank robbery, poor planning, and a little light whoring. Great. Total out of Trip Fund: 364$
Day 4: We only took an hour to get on the road the 4th day. After being on the road for 5 hours we drove through Santa Clarita. I will now stop the story for a misinformed treatise on the movie industry. Please stand by. There will also be more shameless self promotion. Someone, exhibiting a level of sense rarely seen these days had finally thought to have a sequel ready for release WHILE the original was in theaters. It was a successful marketing scheme and we forked over another 14 bucks to see Shadow Warriors 2: Aftermath. It was even better than the original, what I saw of it, anyway. The cops showed up an hour in and everyone panicked, we lost the pursuit in the shuffle. Everyone panicked. Why? Because the presence of police in a confined space has a similar effect to someone yelling "FIRE!"? I have yet to see the end of that movie. We made it all the way to San Diego in 1 hour and 45 minutes rather than the estimated 2 hours. That is definitely the Dyschronometria talking. But then our luck changed, When you abuse your luck THAT MUCH, yes, she will turn on you. we passed a billboard advertising the San Diego Zoo. Among the other, more mundane creatures sat our downfalls; a capybara and a hedgehog. This is just a weird sentence. These are my partner's and my favorite animals, we had to stop. We ended up seeing the entire zoo. That was the first time I'd ever seen a capybara. I stood and watched them for a full 10 minutes before my partner got bored and hauled me away to see the hedgehogs. We then watched them for 10 minutes. Dyschronometria. We saw everything, the giraffes, the birds, the reptiles, the fish, the bears and everything else. Okay...those animals...in that order. Yep.
On our way out the front gate we looked up and realized we were surrounded by police. We didn't stand a chance. They arrested us and hauled us away. I haven't seen my partner or my Corvette since then. I'm still not entirely sure which I miss more. I still can't resist a Dramatic Dismount.
Gas: 15.66 Time: 7 hours Food: 20.30 Mileage: 470 Misc: 14$ for movie tickets, 20$ to get into the Zoo Total out of Trip Fund: 70.00
Total: Gas: 58.66 Time: 28 hours Food: 261.30 Mileage: 1355 miles Misc 204.00 Total out of Trip Fund 521.96
Presumably the 10 Million dollars we stole was also lost in the course of being arrested. If we'd just driven straight to Mexico without 3 stayovers, we might have made it before the obviously completely inept police caught us.
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