#someone is p gonna take this way out of proportion and hate on me but eh

[mysticfemme]

I love that the main group of people offended by the Barbie movie's existence is all the cis men who are going to see Oppenheimer instead and think they're better because of it

[onebraincell-itmiebcraft]

Liveblogging real life part 2: Joel (it's been 12 13 days) (already watched)

Okay so maybe we'll do the liveblog-every-five-minutes-unless-something-crazy thing also idk if I should link this up to my intro post (idk how) or reblogged my og one with this oh well we'll figure it out why am I eating AGAIN doing this

I got inspired after rewatching secret life my beloved for the umpteenth time :P

Okay ep. 1/finale is hilarious and new "series" 😭

Joel why did you point out the cursor I can't take my eyes away

First batch

Joel jumping then immediately keeling over in nausea:

Idk how to respond to that but it struck a chord within me, how true

BigB wholesome waving but it also looks like his arm is BENT I can't get over VR arms man 😭

Punching BigB because he's so tall is so real tbh + love the smash cut to Gem being salty

Headpatting + baby-ish voice "little gem/Ren/skizz" what a gentleman makes me think of the try not to cry challenge or Jimmy's crazy christmas series where he says Joel is a crybaby and Gem says he's a romance guy in a mental gymnastics train of thought

Grian throwing his head back from the outside?! Cryptid behaviour

The real life vids don't make me motion sick but Joel making retching and vomiting sounds does NOT help it makes me sick by proxy or something I hate being disoriented and nauseous too buddy

There's probably a video out there of someone comparing regular mc to vr because vr just hits different like proportions wise

Joel noises

Love this Joel-Gem duo already idk how to describe it just fun

Also Joel having to process out loud he won't throw up on Gem I remember playing Richie's plank experience or whatever years and years ago shit was REAL

Joel's inventory becoming disorganized with things that can be stacked together :(

Hey what gem said kinda reminds me of what grian said :D at the end of his episode awful :DD

Poor Joel he's battling his height complex alongside his motion sickness (rip bozo poor little meow meow)

I think almost everybody had the problem of facing the wall dude, it's okay it's very silly

Water foreshadowing (he will swim with his future gang and become incredibly sick)

Geminislay that pig

Wait till Joel learns about lying down‼️‼️

JOEL STOP MAKING NAUSEOUS SOUNDS I'M GONNA FROW UP 👹

"...Falling in powdered snow" kinda reminds me of this short story I read in grade 9 English class "The Bamboo Trap" protag fell in The Bamboo Trap™ and got bitten by big ass spiders or something the idiot, also I think got published in the same anthology as the most dangerous game 👊

Joel admits to weakness

Weird ass snow, someone built this or something?

Joel with his arms out looks so silly, so does gem

Oh gem how graceful with the figure skating history 👊👊👊✌️👉✌️✌️🤜🤛🤛🤜🙏

Lol they learn about the wrist chat

Second batch

Jimmy, oh iconic Timmy

Shield (why did I write this again?)

Bi shoes, love seeing gem's skin wearing the bi shoes I forget about it every once in a while and when I see it again it's a pleasant surprise

Vr players learn to pvp

When you use the shield to block in first person it looks kinda stupid dude

Campsite vibes tbh, I really like it.

Bee spotted 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 what is it doing

Shaky controller cursor over top chest plate I feel you

Falling irl indeed (recursive mention about plank)

LOUD holy moly Joel is loud (not negative)

Healf being something people can't look at at all times is actually a kinda funny mechanic

Smajor friendship aww when will they team up (did I forget about a series)

The poor beg for bread, we live in a society ✊😔

Grian killing??? Since when??? (Sarcastic)

Batch three

Peace and love is why they haven't died yet 😘

Arms again! Weird looking things

Hand gesture reminds me of that one diamond scar short with etho's greedy "I want the diamond" voice

Flint and steel? Weird looking thing

Omg red club looks like bugs, the way the trio gossips about them ♥️

Right no out messages...

Can't believe the most motion sick man gets in the water not once but TWICE this ep

Does he know

Where did the horse thing come from

Can't remember if I mentioned this but when the sword swings without critting in VR it looks so silly it pokes

A bugs life: the sequel

Club: deadly euphemism

Sword 😐

Something about jimmy doesn't get burnt...

Why is Jimmy jiggles the only one with a wooden sword???

Strong words from a man on the verge of mania 👀

Lol knowing impulse breaks the ground under Joel big brain man going for the kill

Something about the disappointed way Joel says "scar!" And scar stabbing him in the first caused this

Tim is so British he says "get in" so much

Joel, again exasperated, cries out "where's all my stuff?!"

Funny Minecraft men, my favourite funny Minecraft men

My god seeing from Joel's perspective his second death is from zombie

I think Joel was about to saying bluming + the cover behind house + the constant begging for his stuff back + violence as an answer (he hits men)

4

Oh scar up to no good again

JOEL GETS IN THE WATER AGAIN!!! MOTION SICKNESS WIN!

Joel and scar just did mitosis stop being scared of biology 🙄

What was Mr solidaritygaming doing in that hill and said yes to did he finally get iron?

Aw the silly arm motion I love greeting people with spirit fingers reminds me of that

GOON SQUAD?! (neuron activated)

Famous moment

Oh more famous moment here comes the smallidarity kiss

Love Tim's body language once again the sharp smooth head turn to grian he's like a cartoon character

(what grian mean they are suited and booted he cut this part out I don't remember the other povs 😢)

Leave it to solidaritygaming himself to be the most homoerotic straight man there is of course + Joel is still patting him on the head? + Timsel being cringefail needing to jump multiple times on ONE BLOCK + Joel did NOT need to lean that much he looks like he's powered by springs + Jim's arms always being so tight together. Makes him. Look like. An old granny??? + Joel IMMEDIATELY checking his wrist afterwards like it's a Tuesday and he's on break + homophobic GRIAN + impulse's dad delivery one liner

The more I watch smallidarity kiss the more bizarre and asinine it becomes to me 😀

When did Joel learn to button jump (he WAS mental for jumping irl irl)

Okay Joel cut out that canary comment why don't you 🙄🙄🙄

WHACK 💀 SHAKE YOUR HANDS REAL FAST 💀💀 JOEL SCREAM #3997 💀💀💀

Fond of Joel's cadence of saying "hello guys!" And "I'm coming in boys!" And "HAHA!" oddly musical

Okay aaaaaaand he dies worst ranking ever good for him the end

Idk if I should liveblog scar next or watch Ren because I've already watched up to skizz + me 'ead 'urts oh well

[lizzy-williams]

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐭

🐺Warnings: Alpha/Omega dynamic, SMUTTTT, neediness, language, mature themes, dubcon?

🐺Masterlist

🐺Summary: Every Omega knows that going into heat is rough, especially when unclaimed. All eyes are on you. So when it hits you in the middle of a coffee shop with your friends, a particular alpha is very willing to help.  

🐺Theme (All I Need by Radiohead)

🐺A/N: Lol we gonna get dirtttyyyy. By the way, you’re small in his, like body proportion wise, like 5′4 small so there’s that. I know people want the ‘independent strong hardheaded alpha female’, but in this one ur compliant, sorry if ya don’t like it. There will most likely be a part 2 :)

“Y’know, I dunno how you drink that stuff,” Anna-Lynn said from across the table, making [ y / n ] roll her eyes and look up.

“You’re just jealous cause your tastebuds are weak,” she retorted, taking a teasingly long sip of her dark black coffee. 

It was nice having a day out like this. Especially when everyone seemed so busy with preparing for the spookiest holiday of the year. Paper bats and small pumpkins littered the store-fronts of London, the summer weather fading with the light chilly breezes autumn seemingly brought. 

The calm warm light streamed through the window of the coffee shop the three young women were in, the dusk just hitting them. The tree leaves complimented the light as it covered the area in a soft blanket of pink and orange hues. 

“So, um,” [ y / n ]’s other friend, Elizabeth, began to speak, clearing her throat and shooting a daring look at Anna-Lynn, “Have you thought about Ethan at all?”

Ah, yes, Ethan. He was Elizabeth’s younger cousin, just then turning 19, a simple beta with no claimed mate. 

[ y / n ] shook her head, and to this, the two girls let out a defeated huff, “You need to chose someone,” Anna-Lynn’s voice was clipped as she huffed, but it had a hint of concern. Worry even. 

And of course there was a stipulation to one of [ y / n ]’s favorite seasons. Because for her kind, not only was it autumn, but it was also mating season. A dangerous time for any omega unclaimed. If you were unclaimed when the time came around, you were easy pray, and other alphas and betas could smell you much much easier. 

You would become a target. Even more so if you were in heat. 

“I’m not worried about it.” [ y / n ] sighed, nonchalantly, taking a large gulp of her drink before setting it back down. But deep down she truly was.

“We just don’t want you to become like one of those other omegas... you know, getting claimed by someone on the street during their heat... someone they don’t love at all and being forced to have pups, it’s just barbaric.” Elizabeth glanced down at her dwindling hands. 

“I understand that. But I’ve had no issues with this before. I’ll just... lock myself up in my room with a vibrator and some porn. That’s worked before,”

“Bullshit, you were a grump for like a month because you had built up aggression. Ethan’s a good guy. You should really consider it.”

Yes, Ethan was nice. But when it came to [ y / n ]... she just felt as if they weren’t meant for each other. And there was no way that she would consider having pups with him and-

Speak of the mother fucking devil-

It was as if she was hit with a million bricks at once, her body becoming hot, a powerful wave of uncomfortable warmth crashing through her body like a tidal wave, her mouth clamping shut tightly. Her breath hitched, her thighs tightening around nothing, her legs shaking as she felt herself feel as if she were going to throw up. The moisture between her thighs was uncomfortable as she felt her panties stick to her mound.

How could she be so careless? Now she was in heat in public and she knew that nearby alphas and betas had already caught onto the scent, most likely heading their way. She knew it was roughly the time she would go into heat. And it was hell on earth right now, knowing that now that the sun was just now taking it’s last breaths over the tall buildings, the night heightening her kind’s senses acutely. 

Her friends caught on almost immediately, knowing the mannerisms of the heavy breathing and the quivering lips. Her eyes were wide as she bit down on her bottom lip harshly, trying her best to keep her whimpers and whines in the back of her throat. 

Thoughts raced through the young woman’s mind. Thoughts of her being taken in the most delicious ways possible by any man that just so happened to look her way. And her friends could tell that there were already at least a few alphas coming in hot, the sudden howling through the now darkened air making the 2 other girls’ senses hyperactive. 

What was ironic was that there was a conversation going on between two baristas behind the counter, “The dogs are at it again, they’ve been a lot noisier than usual.”

“We need to get her home, right now.” Anna-Lynn commanded, Elizabeth giving a chaste nod before flipping through her phone as a poor, squirming, [ y / n ] sat right across from them, panting in her intense discomfort. 

She shut her eyes tightly, desperately trying to ignore the ache in her core. She wanted, no, needed to be filled up. To be claimed. But the thoughts only drove her down deeper, desperation seemingly seeping out of every pore. 

As soon as she was called an Uber, it was an agonizing amount of time before it finally came to a stop, the driver flashing concerned looks at the poor squirming girl in her back seat. Throughout the whole ride, it took everything for [ y / n ] not to touch herself, and all she could do was shift her thighs together, and thankfully, (soon enough), the car came to a stop. 

[ y / n ] let out a strangled ‘thank you’ to the driver before getting out, and after the woman drove off, she found herself stumbling into an alleyway. Her whole body was on fire and she needed release, any release. 

Her back violently hit the brick wall of a darkened alleyway, her loud and labored breaths echoing through the seemingly empty face. She needed tension. At least a little bit. 

As if her legs weren’t her own, [ y / n ] spread her legs only a small amount, just enough to slip her hand under her pants and softly drifting her fingertips over her clothed clit. 

A smooth and controlled rubs soon turned into harsh and fast circles, her needful thoughts forcing her mind to tune out the howling that was getting closer and closer to her. It wasn’t until a low and terrifying growl resonated through the hollow space, making her stop in her tracks, yanking her hand out of its position, doing her best to stand up and steady herself. 

But it was far too late, because by the time she finally started bolting towards the opening in the cold alleyway, her body was caught and thrown against the frigid brick, a pitiful yelp leaving her lips, unleashed tears forming in her eyes. 

“You smell fucking delicious,” a dark voice spoke, no doubt an alpha, and [ y / n ] wouldn’t dare look up and meet his eyes. 

“P-Please, I c-can’t-”

[ y / n ] didn’t even know why she was saying please, for there were so many reasons she could be saying it. 

Please don’t.

Please help the pain.

Please touch me.

Please don’t touch me.

Please.

But the young woman’s thoughts were cut short by a violent tug to her hair, forcing her gaze on the person in from of her. He had bright red hair, freckles apparent, even in the dull light of the closed off space. He wore a jet black hoodie, and that was all that [ y / n ] bothered to take in. 

“You’re a pretty one...” his words rattled through her mind, muffled by the sharp ringing in her heat from the sudden contact to the wall only moments earlier, “Glad I claimed you before anyone else could,” he paused to chuckle to himself, “Would hate to touch damaged goods.”

[ y / n ] whimpered and almost recoiled away, but she knew better. This alpha seemed ill-tempered, and she didn’t want to find out what would happen if she dared to disobey. 

He gave a rough tug to her hair, standing her up, and immediately started to kiss her neck in hopes of warming her up a little bit more, not that she needed it, but nonetheless, his lips continued their assault on the young woman’s neck, whimpers and whines escaping her lips. 

“Just one little thing, pretty girl, you’re unclaimed, I can smell it on you.” he spoke before leaving a long, sinful lick up her throat, “I’m going to bite this pretty little neck and make sure that nobody else is going to touch what’s mine.”

The girl’s body shivered violently. He was talking about a claim mark. If that happened, she could never escape him, it was a tracking device. Where ever she decided to go, he would know exactly where she was. 

“Please, don’t, I-”

But a violent growl made her blood run cold and her words pause half-way up her throat. But it wasn’t from her captor. His head was already snapped towards the source of the sound, which was at the opening of the alleyway, the minimal light caused by the streetlight exposing a clothed figure with its hands in its pockets. They weren’t tall but they weren’t short, but their stature was confident. 

Great. Another alpha.

“Drop her.” the voice spoke, straight to the point and commanding. 

“Fuck off, she’s mine, I got to her first.” the ginger male snapped, his eyes now a vibrant scorching gold, shining in the darkness. 

“Drop the fucking girl or I’ll rip you’re fucking head off.” this time it was a vicious growl, strong and unwavering that sent goosebumps down [ y / n ]’s spine. 

“That a challenge, pint-size?” the ginger taunted, referring to the other alpha who only stood at a good 5′8, while he stood at a large 6′1, slamming the girl onto the ground making her yelp out in pain.

Finally, the young alpha stepped into some form of light, making his face visible, and the ginger’s expression of defense faded into a face of fear and regret, the eyes that once glowed yellow dying down to it’s original color. 

“T-Tom, Jesus, man, excuse me, I didn’t-”

The alpha, apparently named Tom, harshly grabbed the ginger’s shirt, pulling him in and looking up at him with deadly eyes, “Leave.”

And just like that, he was gone, and hopefully never going to be seen again. 

Tom’s expression turned soft when he saw the poor writhing omega in a mound on the hard concrete of the ground, small whimpers of discomfort making his chest clench. 

“You live here?” he questioned, motioning to the building she was now leaned against. 

All she could to was let out a whine of confirmation, nodding her head slowly as she clamped her thighs together as tightly as possible. 

“Come on then, can’t have you out in the open, there’s already talk, let’s get you inside,” he said, kindness and understanding in his tone, holding out a hand to [ y / n ], who in turn took it almost immediately. 

It took her a second to walk, her knees weak, not to mention it was hard not to notice Tom’s muscles, and his face. God, he was truly attractive. 

She let her mind wonder as they began to walk, his arm firmly around her waist, trying to keep her steady. She wondered what it would look like when he came, filling her up to the brim, making her full, a thin blanket of sweat covering his body, his eyes glowing, hungry, and she let out a whimper at it. 

“You’re staring.” Tom smirked as they stepped into the elevator of the complex. 

“S-Sorry,” she muttered, trying to shake the embarrassingly dirty thoughts from her mind as she continued to try and focus on just getting to her apartment. 

The sooner she got there, the sooner she had her vibrator, the sooner she had release. She was convinced, at least, that that would solve her problems, at least temporarily. 

She led him to her apartment, still holding onto him for dear life as her core throbbed with need and want. When the door unlocked with a small click, she turned the doorknob, almost collapsing through the doorway. 

“Do you need any help?”

This could have meant many things. But of course, [ y / n ] was oblivious in her response. 

“N-No, I think I can manage to put myself to bed.”

Tom gave a small chuckle as he sat her down on the couch, sitting next to her as she slouched back, “No, I mean I can help with your problem... that is, if you want me to,”

[ y / n ]’s mind was clouded in a haze of neediness, so with no hesitation, she whimpered a small yes, before immediately unbuttoning her jeans and slipping them down a little bit to eagerly. 

She knew this was happening to quick, almost irrationally quick, but the need in her pounding cunt was much more important to her at the moment than her petty morals and reason. 

“Are you sure?” he looked at her with sincerity, watching as she shifted out of her pants and took his hand, placing it on her covered mound. 

“Please, just touch me, Tom,”

Hearing his name on her lips was almost enough to make him lose his control and say ‘fuck it’, but he figured that if her were to do this, he might as well try to do this right. 

“Don’t have to tell me twice, darling,” he muttered, easily finding her sensitive bud, even through the material of her panties.

She let out a soft and breathy moan, taking her hand of his own and moving it to his bicep, squeezing, as if it were anchoring her down to Earth, because she had never been touched like this, especially by someone else. 

As if Tom had read her mind, he looked up at her, drinking in her reactions before speaking, “Are you a virgin?”

She nodded her head, his pace never faltering. 

“I’ve been waiting- ugnh - for the right person... I trust you,” she managed to get out between moans.

“You barely know me,”

“But I want to. There’s - ah, fuck - something about you. I l-like you,” she admitted, the filter between her mouth and her brain nonexistent as she felt nothing but pleasure and a release from the uncomfortable pressure she was feeling only moments before. 

“Fuck,” to Tom, it was nice to hear that somebody needed him, trusted him, especially with something like this, so sacred and meaningful. She was giving him the gift that could only be given once, and he was happy to receive. 

After a few moments of him rubbing her in all the right ways, he hesitantly pulled his hand away from her, hating the noise of protest that she released. 

“Come on, princess, let’s take this to you're bedroom, yeah?”

[ y / n ] was compliant to his suggestion, standing up best she could without Tom’s help, but soon leaning on him as she directed him to her bedroom door. 

The door was busted open, and she was thrown onto the bed, and as soon as she hit the mattress, she stripped off everything else, leaving her completely nude, and her actions inspired Tom to do the same. 

He quickly got on top of her, grinding the length of his cock against her soaking wet folds, making him growl. 

“Fuck, darling, I’m not even inside you yet and you feel heavenly-” he hissed, the little omega nodding in response. 

“Alpha, please, I need you inside me, I want you to fill me,” she desperately pleaded. 

Tom let out a feral snarl at the use of the word ‘alpha’, surprised it had so much of an effect on him being used like this. It was so fucking hot. She had him wrapped so tightly around her pinky and didn’t even know it. 

“Anything for you, darling,” he muttered, lining himself up and ever so slowly easing himself inside his new mate, a pained whimper escaping her, his cock seemingly splitting her in half. 

Tom finally remembered that she was a virgin. And that made him even harder inside her. He waited for him, for her mate, while he was out fucking every omega that crossed him. But with her, she wasn’t just an omega. And he wanted to prove it to her. 

He took his time, almost cockwarming, staying still inside of her as her body naturally adjusted to his size, feeling so close to each other, it was enough for the two of them to almost fall in love right then and there. Tom finally took in how perfect she was to him. Someone he knew he wanted to keep around in the long run. Someone he knew he wanted to protect, even when she didn’t need protection. 

[ y / n ] scratched up his back, signaling that she was ready, and confident that he could move with little to no discomfort from her. 

The alpha started to move his hips, her tight cunt making his eyes roll back in his skull as he dropped his head into the crook of her neck, leaving soft and reassuring kisses to her neck as she made the most delectable noises, making him addicted, almost like his own brand of opioid. 

“So fucking tight, princess, you feel like fucking paradise,” he praised as he drank up the omega’s reactions as she experienced her first time with him. 

She’s like this for me and only me.

Her face was scrunched adorably in pleasure, her eyes shut tight as she felt the moment, his skin under her finger tips, the burning that was set in her core easing as she finally had pleasurable relief. Like getting a refreshing drink on a particularly hot day. 

Tom couldn’t help himself, and as if his body wasn’t his own, primal instinct took over as he began to make his strides harder and quicker, making the most pathetically cute noises release from her mouth. 

“You like that, darling?” he panted licking and sucking her neck, making one of her tiny hands weaving itself though his chestnut curls, “Why did I bother asking, of course you do. You love it when your alpha fucks you.”

All she could do was nod her head as she felt a coil inside her tighten. Tom felt his cock inflate as he continued to drive into her, pounding her into the mattress as he growled praises into her neck, her moans and whimpers never stopping. 

Soon the praise turned into a single word, falling out of his mouth like a prayer, even though what they were doing was the farthest thing from holy. 

Mine. Mine. Mine.

The omega could take it anymore, whimpering out, “P-Please, I... want you to b-bite me. Please, I need you to claim me,” she begged, which made his assault on her cunt falter slightly, slowing down to a calm and intimate pace. 

He knew what that meant. When an alpha bites an omega, she’s claimed. It means that nobody can touch her. Almost like an unbroken bond between two of their kind, and it meant a lot. 

And though they had just met only a half an hour prior, he knew that she was special, and he knew that this was who he was meant to be with, and his heart swelled at the thought of getting to know her inside and out. A true connection. 

“You want me to claim you, huh?” he paused his movements, [ y / n ] nodding frantically, wanting more than anything, “I’m not going to go easy on you. I want you to feel nothing but you inside me while I claim you, nothing but rapture as I claim you as mine.”

[ y / n ] nodded once again, to while Tom protested, “Words, darling,” 

“Yes, alpha, I understand, I- OH FUCK-,” she yelled out. And she thought he was going hard before, but that was nothing compared to the pleasure she was now presented with, his cock properly railing into her as he left a long and sinful lick up her neck before taking a bite, his eyes glowing a bright fluorescent gold as she let out one of the most pornographic moans she had ever heard. 

The copper taste in his mouth tasted like candy, and home, the sweet substance covering his lips as he finally pulled back, knowing that she was close. 

And close she was. She was so close to release she could almost taste it, and god did it taste good. Without warning, the coil inside her snapped, making her vision cloud, her thoughts unable to collect themselves as her vision clouded, and she swore she blacked out for a second. 

She was so overcome with pleasure, she didn’t notice that he had cum himself, the sensation of him pulling out and his cum spill out of her enough to get her riled up enough. But if what just happened didn’t vanquish the heat she was experiencing before, God only knew what would. 

Tom stepped back, taking in the sight of his new mate, completely fucked out and covered with marks, his cum dripping out of her like a faucet. He wished for this image to be branded into his mind so he could see it every time he closed his eyes. 

“Absolutely stunning.” he praised, his hands now running up and down her thighs. 

[ y / n ] was finally Tom’s, inside and out, and Tom couldn’t be more proud. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up, love, yeah?”

The morning was soft and filled with nothing but admiration to each other, the two staying in bed most of the morning until they finally went to the omega’s kitchen to make breakfast/lunch.

[ y / n ] was cooking the bacon and eggs when she suddenly felt arms wrap around her from behind, a chin resting on her shoulder. 

“How’re you holding up?” he questioned, and it make [ y / n ] blush at how considerate she was about her state, his fingertips dragging lightly over the violent-looking bite mark on her neck.

“I’m absolutely perfect,” she smiled, “Feels nice to belong to someone.”

“You know what? I was thinking the exact same thing.”

And for once, the two of them were truly excited for the future. 

[jedivszombie]

Okay gang, since there are a bunch of anons going fucking wild across the dash tonight about some joking posts about Mark Webber and Ann Neal - that were someone’s shocked reaction to the age difference between them. I thought it would be interesting to go on a little journey together. 

This little journey is the story of how Ann and Mark met, and will hopefully give you guys some insight as to why the ‘sexism’ and ‘ageism’ arguments you are currently using are bullshit - and why using these words in such a buzzword way actually is not the kind of critical thinking you think it is. And why this situation is more akin to a student and teacher starting a relationship - which I think we can all agree is not advisable, even if you don’t know why.

Below the cut is going to be a little discussion of Mark and Ann the early days; the reason the age difference is iffy at best and fucked up at worst; and, a little discussion about how these situations require nuance and the ways in which f1blr often likes to blow situations out of proportion. 

I have split it into three parts:

Mark and Ann: The Early Days (1994-1997)

Nuance, my old friend. Anon hate, my enemy. (tw: for racism here, be careful)

The pitfalls of discourse and the importance of looking after yourself.

A little disclaimer for you guys: I do not pretend to know anything about this relationship, other than what is readily available to learn about it from what they themselves have put out about it. I am just providing a timeline and some facts. Whatever conclusions you draw from it are your own.

Feel free to come for me if you so desire. 

Mark and Ann: The Early Days (1994-1997)

We start our story in Australia in February, 1994. Mark is competing in Australian Formula Ford Championship and Ann Neal is the new media and PR officer for the category. This is their first meeting. Just so we know what’s up here Mark was 17 at the time, and Ann was absolutely an adult (apparently there is a 13 year age gap, which may not sound like much but we will get onto that later, which makes her roughly 30 when they first met). 

Some key things to be aware of from this first meeting: 

Mark is 17, Ann is about 30. Mark is a young racer, Ann is the media and PR officer for the category he races in. 

In an excerpt from Aussie Grit, p. 57 to be exact, we get to find out what Ann had to say about the first time they met: 

“She thought I was a bit of a smart-arse when we first met. ‘But I liked how bold and cheeky he was,’ she says, ‘and how mature he seemed. When I asked someone how old he was, I was shocked when they said 17 – he was confident beyond his years.’”

In another excerpt from Aussie Grit, p. 61, Mark tells us other things Ann remembers about their first meeting:

“Ann remembers our first meeting and my opening remark about her being so important. She can even remember what I was wearing – a stripey green and red top, one of those United Colors of Benetton things – so that was pretty prophetic, as things turned out!” 

Now this may sound extremely cute to some of you, like they’re just having a normal ‘aww remember how we met’ moment. But let me please re-direct your attention back to the fact that Mark is 17 (and still not an adult yet if this is what you are gonna nitpick about) and Ann is very much an adult, in a position of power. 

So, a teenager makes a quip about how important you are and you commit to memory what he was wearing the day it happened? 

Now let’s bring in the first quote I put up there where Ann herself was recalling the first time they met. I would like to draw your attention to the following sentence: ‘and how mature he seemed. When I asked someone how old he was, I was shocked when they said 17 – he was confident beyond his years.’

Hmmmm, where have we all heard language like this used before? If, like me, you have some experience of adults trying to start inappropriate relationships with you as a teenager then you will be very familiar to this sort of language. The emphasis is on how mature he seemed, is what’s sticking out for me here tbh.

Now, if this had been a fleeting meeting, and they had met again a few years later, I would be more on board for whatever justification some of the anons have been trying to use. However, it wasn’t. 

Again from Aussie Grit, p.61:

“After that first meeting we kept in touch. My family sometimes met up with Ann and Luke for weekend get-togethers, and I ensured she got her motor-sport fixes by dragging all my old F1 tapes out. By way of revenge she would bring down all her British Formula Ford tapes for me.”

Oh cool, so she gained the trust of his family and Mark was hanging out with her son. This is so sweet Alexa, play Chosen Family by Rina Sawayama. Real talk though, again if this is how it had ended - with them just being family friends - then we would not be having this conversation. 

BUT, we all know how this little story ends so onwards we march. We shoot forward to late 1994, Mark has done okay in Formula Ford but his Dad is no longer able to fund him. SO, he turns to their old pal - the ever present and super helpful Ann, bless her heart - to try and drum up some sponsorship for Mark so he can race. 

Little background on why Ann was chosen to try and help with this, I’ll give you 3 guesses and only one of them is correct. Yes, that’s right, it’s her experience - which she has managed to get by being 30 and having a background in motorsports. She started out as a motorsport journo and ended up dealing with press and PR for Paul Warwick (Derek Warwick’s brother). In 1986 she started dealing with Johnny Herbert’s media before working for Formula Ford in Europe in 1991. 

Ann begrudgingly accepts and draws up plans with Mark, which leads him to a Yellow Pages sponsorship for his next season in Formula Ford, and beyond - how sweet, how nice, they are #winning! We stan teamwork besties! And Ann started working with Mark and his family to further his career. 

Ann had a plan for Mark, as outlined in Aussie Grit, p.69-70:

“By the end of 1995 Annie told me, in no uncertain terms, that – and I quote – I had to get my arse out of there. She didn’t just mean Australian Formula Ford, either: she meant Australia. She thought it was time for me to go and have a crack at some of the big guys, and she proposed to help me go about it in a serious, business-like way.

‘How the f#*k are you going to get to Formula 1 coming from Queanbeyan?’ Anyone who wants to trace my journey should start with a piece of paper that Ann drew up on 6 July 1995.”

So, now Ann has outlined her hopes for Mark and a glimmering career in motorsport. I would like us to know that at this point in time Mark was the ripe old age of 18, going on 19. 

In 1996 Ann and Mark moved properly to the UK so Mark could drive in the British Formula Ford Championship - at this point Mark is still 19. At this point he is living in the UK with Ann and her mother, and Ann’s son. 

So this is probably sounding pretty okay so far and sure it’s just a business relationship with a business set up, like no real cause for concern. But then we discover that this business relationship had turned into a relationship-relationship pretty damn fast. 

From the horses mouth himself, Aussie Grit, p.87:

“Back in England, Ann and I moved house to Aylesbury in Buckinghamshire, on the edge of motor sport’s equivalent of Silicon Valley. We had started out as teammates and friends on a mission but over time our friendship had deepened into something else. I enjoyed spending time with her and we felt entirely comfortable in each other’s company. Moving to England was a huge step for me and I think it was a case of us needing one another and that’s how the relationship was formed.”

Okay, okay, okay so I know at this point Mark is 19/20 he’s an adult right? He can make his own choices. But, can we please admit that at best it’s an iffy situation because of the position of power and authority she was in? In his life? For his career? 

There are a few other excerpts I found particularly interesting, about Mark’s family’s reaction (all from Aussie Grit, chapter 3):

“My parents came over to the UK in the English summer of 1997. While they were thrilled about how things were developing for me in racing, they’d been less thrilled by the romantic relationship that was developing between Annie and me....”  “...Annie was bitterly disappointed at my behaviour. Her plan to take me to the highest level of motor sport was starting to go horribly wrong, so she left Australia earlier than planned and headed back to Europe. My family arranged for Alan Docking to collect my belongings from the house we had been sharing and the one and only car Annie and I had at that stage...Campese Management told her that they had been instructed by the Webber family to terminate her role as my manager and that Campese Management would be taking over all aspects of my career, including the negotiation of my driving contracts.“

“While I knew Annie provided the support and guidance I needed in my racing career, I was missing her in so many other ways too. We were such a dynamic force in every sense; we could make things happen when we were together. We were teammates, soul mates, call it what you want.“

“As to Mum’s concern about our age difference, that has never been a factor for us. When we began to be more open about being together, perhaps the top end of the age gap shocked a few people. In those days people were less accepting of a big age difference between partners, especially when it’s our way round. It’s not such a big deal nowadays and it makes us laugh when so-called celebrities reveal they’re dating an older woman or younger man!“

While the Daily Mail is trash, the beginning of this video is very revealing to me - particularly Jackie Stewart’s comments from 00:12.

Obviously you can make up your own conclusions from all of this information, and I would once again like to point out that none of us - not me, not the anons, not you - actually know the nature of their relationship. They have been together for 24 years - good for them! Whatever they have going has obviously worked for them, this is not me trying to shit on that or anything, and I’m gonna be real I’m not the biggest Mark Webber fan. 

Nuance, my old friend. Anon hate, my enemy.

All I want to do is add some nuance to the conversation, an overview of the timeline, an understanding of what the facts are. So that some of those cowardly anons (or anon) can hop off their self-built thrones and get a grip. The sexism and ageism argument literally does not apply here, for all of the evidence and reasons listed above - if the situation was flipped we would still be calling it out. The only difference is you guys would probably be on board with it being called out. 

So Ann is a woman? So, what? Do you think she’s above reproach? You think one person’s 50 note post on this site is gonna rock the foundation of a relationship that has been 26 years in making? If you have answered yes to any of these questions then you are either: a) Mark Webber himself, or b) delusional as hell. You really think that responding by sending anon hate to a teenager, who btw only made a post calling out the age difference because she was shocked and had just discovered it, is the right way to go? 

You really think that sending me this message, attacking other people in such a vile and racist manner is okay?

So you don’t like Nehir and Sera? Good for you, go block them, if you follow them, unfollow them. Those options are free and readily available to you. 

For me, it’s so funny to see you hiding behind that little Anon mask spewing this vile shit. The commitment you have to proving that you are just a cowardly person with nothing better to do than rag on a bunch of different people for reblogging a post, that in the long run is not going to reach the people it’s about, is outstanding. I really hope you pat yourself on the back for this one. 

The pitfalls of discourse and the importance of looking after yourself.

There has definitely been a spate of ‘conversations’ that have been happening recently that have very much been straying into the land of discourse, over very small comments or posts. I think that some people need to remember that we’re all here for our own entertainment and as soon as it stops being fun - you are allowed to log off; you are allowed to block people; you are allowed to unfollow people. 

Sending anon hate is so counterproductive to whatever conversation you think you are starting or having with a person. Also guys, sometimes it’s not that deep - sometimes jokes are just jokes, sometimes someone finds out something they didn’t know about a driver or an ex-driver and they make a joke post about it. That does not give you the right to send them hate, or to make racist comments in other people’s asks. 

Sometimes these discussions require a debate and sometimes discourse can be good - but honestly? I’m worried about some of you guys, it is not healthy to get so angry at other people for the things they post on their blogs that you are not obligated to follow or interact with at all. 

I am also worried about people who turn every little thing into something discoursey. There are causes and issues to care about in this sport and community, for sure. But sometimes you also have to pick your battles - especially when I know a lot people in this community have fragile mental health. I do not say this to patronise any of you but to just provide a reminder that you do not need to engage with everything that makes your blood boil, and furthering some of these conversations sometimes is not doing you guys any good. Burnout is real. 

Please take some time to take care of yourselves, the pandemic is doing a number on all of us and I know being online gives you a gateway to being connected to people, but sometimes you just have to walk away from a discussion. Sometimes you have to just go and reblog something unrelated, or stare at a photo of your favourite driver, or listen to some angry music. Anything else to process your knee jerk reaction, to give yourself time to figure out how you feel about something and whether it’s worth engaging in or not. 

[canyourscienceexplainthis]

Handyman Sokka

“Aang this is impossible!”

Zuko is hunched over a pile of dark wood and black metal beams, screws and flat rings strewn about the carpet. He’s gripping an instruction manual hard enough to tear the pages in one hand and a rusty screwdriver in the other.

“No, it isn’t. Just read the instructions.”

“I’ve read the instructions 4 times! They’re written in jibberish and I can’t figure out the pictures! I knew I should have just gone to an actual furniture shop and paid for an already assembled desk! Ikea furniture is always such a pain in the ass! But apparently I never learn from my mistakes and my punishment will be endlessly assembling desks and side tables and bed frames in my own personal hell that is move in week!” Zuko exclaims, once again cursing the fact that his depth perception is fucked and his patience is thin.

Aang is silent on the other end, likely waiting to see if Zuko is just catching his breath before starting round two of his anti-Ikea diatribe.

“Sorry Aang, I’m just so frustrated.” Zuko huffs, feeling all the pent-up pressure leave his body and setting the screwdriver down as he lowers his elbows onto his knees.

“No kidding. I’m glad you’re taking it out on me instead of a poor sales person, though.” Zuko chuckles at that. He knows he can be a bit of a hothead but he’s not that much of an asshole (not anymore, at least).

“Where are Jet and Haru,” Aang asks, “why can’t they help you out?”

“Ugh, they’re still so honeymoon-y,” Zuko pretends to gag. “I’m honestly scared to even walk by their room let alone interrupt whatever unspeakable thing they’re doing.”

“Pretty sure you know all about the unspeakable things your ex is doing with his current boyfriend, Zuko,” Aang retorts far too lightheartedly.

“Yeah but it’s not like I want to think about it! It’s so—“

“Oogie?” Aang offers.

“Exactly! Oogie!”

“Okay, well, my schedule is pretty packed this week with orientation activities and TA stuff, but if you can wait till the weekend I can come by and make sure everything ends up assembled instead of in a smoking pile of remains on your front lawn.”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?” Zuko sighs over the phone. Apparently, if you light one dresser on fire suddenly you’re like a serial arsonist or something. Personally, Zuko thinks the whole thing got blown a bit out of proportion.

“Nope,” Aang pops the ‘p’ and Zuko can practically hear his smirk over the phone.

“Hey, it’s ok, I know you’re busy. Maybe I’ll just hire someone to do it.” Zuko sighs, slumping his head between his knees.

Ever since Zuko’s morally corrupt and abusive father died, leaving his estate to Zuko and his sister, he’s been trying to spend his father’s money in ways he hopes will make him roll over in his grave. Zuko doesn’t even know why he was mentioned in the will. His father hated him and they hadn’t talked for over 5 years before he died. Probably still worried about his reputation from beyond the grave, Zuko thinks.

Shortly after his death, Zuko told a family friend of his plan to throw money at things he knows his father would have despised him for. They countered with the classic, “one should not speak ill of the dead,” to which Zuko had responded, “then he shouldn’t have been such a piece of shit before he died.”

So yes, Zuko would be more than happy to pay someone to assemble furniture for him because it would have infuriated his father to no end that he couldn’t just figure it out for himself; that his “hard earned” (aka stolen) money is being wasted. Zuko’s not sure if he believes in an afterlife, but if there is one he hopes Ozai is watching in disgust.

“You sure? I really don’t mind—“ Aang starts before he’s interrupted by a much more chipper sounding Zuko.

“No, no, don’t worry about it, I’m just gonna hire a handyman to do it.”

“Okay, if that’s what you wanna do,” Aang says with only a hint of hesitation in his voice. Zuko has known Aang for years, having attended the same fancy international boarding school since junior high and now the same university. While Zuko hadn’t disclosed the truly horrific details of his and Ozai’s relationship, Aang picked up on enough to understand why he was more than happy to spend a small fortune on certain things. Returning to school one fall with a sizeable scar covering the left side of his face was probably a pretty good hint.

“Actually I know someone who might be able to help you out! Remember last semester when I accidentally signed up for that math class?”

Zuko laughs into his phone, “how could I forget? You had a Zuko versus Ikea style rant about how the registrar needs to change the format of the course signup page because sometimes course names are so unclear and—“

“Yeah yeah yeah don’t make me relive the worst mistake of my academic career.” Zuko can practically hear Aang wincing over the phone. “But I met a guy in that class who’s like, a math genius. I honestly think Piandao even had trouble understanding his final project cause, like,” Aang makes a noise that Zuko assumes is an explosion sound, “mind blown.”

“Buddy, I’m really very happy that you made a friend, but what does this have to do with my lack of places to sit, work, and sleep?” Zuko asks, trying not to let his words drip too heavily with annoyance.

“Well if you’d let me finish,” Aang continues with a dramatic exhale, “we hung out a couple times and he mentioned that he sometimes does general handiwork for extra cash. I bet if I asked he’d be down to help out with your stuff, and he’s probably cheaper than a professional.”

Obviously, cost isn’t really a consideration, but Zuko can still sully his father’s memory without being an outright spendthrift.

“Yeah, that sounds great actually, thanks Aang.”

“What are best friends for? Oh, also you owe me a sushi night.” Before Zuko has time to offer a faux annoyed comeback, Aang chimes, “later, hotman!”

Ugh, Zuko hates that nickname.

[fishylife]

Street Dance of China, Season 4, Episode 4

- I’ve had issues with Tumblr not saving my posts again v.v I’ll just save often and hope that that does the trick.

- Latrice and Ibuki reenacting HB’s performance haha. From the behind the scenes clips I’ve seen, Ibuki does speak English, so I like to think they are now friends :D

- Hilty & Bosch have known each other since they were six years old T_T That’s cuuuute. Apparently they don’t get into arguments a lot because they always keep a distance between them XD Good strategy.

- San’er’s performance was great! He definitely brings the entertainment in his creativity (including incorporating a story line), but he doesn’t forget about the technical parts of dancing (the popping).

- Bouboo cheering on Rochka when he challenged Jianyan :P

- This spinning move he did was neat

- 不咋地 is going to be the recurring inside joke between Yibo, Rochka, and Bouboo ^^;;

- Yixing singing the SDOC theme song again XD With his super low energy voice XD

- Yibo was tipping the bench which was why Yixing and Henry were like, rocking back and forth at the same pace lol.

- Admittedly George vs. C-Lil was kind of rough. George tried to include Chinese elements in his performance, but he was injured, so he couldn’t really showcase them, and the latter part of his performance became just a typical contemporary dance. C-Lil’s performance was alright, but I think the judges were expecting something more impressive. While break dancing is very impressive to watch, I am starting to see the limitations of it, because if a dancer is not impressive, they are just kind of mediocre. George and C-Lil weren’t able to bring anything superbly impressive, which I think it was difficult for them to vote. Yibo abstained, and C-Lil got two votes, so C-Lil advanced.

- Zyko was incredible as always. It fascinates me how he’s mostly performed with these ballad type songs that don’t really have a beat. Also his flexibility is insane. I’m glad he got through with four votes because we need to see him more.

- I really liked Chika’s performance! I feel like women’s dancing is sometimes a bit limited in the mainstream because people just expect them to look sexy. It isn’t as much the case on this show because all of the ladies on this show are dancers and not idols or pop stars. But anyway, I just love seeing women dance without their bodies being sexualized. Chika’s dance showcased not only control over her body, but POWER. I loved her big movements. Compare the power that she shows vs. the power that say, Ibuki shows. Ibuki is a much smaller lady and it shows in her proportions, so how she expresses power looks different from how Chika expresses power, and Chika’s is the sort of power that I’ve really looked forward to seeing.

- Rochka fanboys over everybody, I love it. Keep spreading the love, dude.

- Ok, Xiaoji’s performance was pretty entertaining. I am not kidding when I say my jaw dropped, at the same time that all the captains went OH SNAP. But this guy definitely has charisma and stage presence. His confidence made up for his lack of ability to improvise XD I was CACKLING when this guy thought the song was done and Yibo was like “bro there’s more” and Xiaoji had to come up with something to end it off lol. I wouldn’t say his challenge was as good as Xiaohai’s, mostly because he hadn’t memorized the music like Xiaohai did. In terms of technical stuff, his performance did seem more impressive than Lai Wei’er’s, but he also did less “stuff” (like, there were a lot of pauses in his dance probably because he didn’t now the music). But Xiaoji’s was definitely more entertaining, though that may just be because of who he is and not his dancing. (By the way, Xiaoji’s real name is 林森. I thought the name 林木森 was just a joke because of how much wood was in it. I never guessed that someone would name their kid 林森 X’D Guess his 八字 indicated that he had a weakness in wood or something lol)

- Have some laughing captains, it’s good for the soul.

- Acky-san acknowledged that he’s probably not going to beat the younger dancers in terms of technique, so what he brought instead was style. The “robot” style of popping is pretty old, but no one else has done it in this competition probably because it’s so old school, and he definitely delivered in a way that only he could.

- Henry singing Frere Jacques with the French contingent X’D

- Thoughts on Han Yu vs. Boris. I can imagine what Han Yu was going for in his original performance, but I don’t think it worked. I don’t have the vocabulary to explain it, but basically the way his performance was choreographed just didn’t really impress. As Yibo mentioned, Boris was impressive in his dance to Han Yu’s music, but his dancing didn’t suit the song as much as Han Yu’s did. So the original dance + challenge was a matter of impressiveness vs. whether the dancing suited the music. Han Yu shone in the battle. I think he seemed a lot more impressive when back in a hip hop sort of groove, music that has a lot of major beats, compared to the piano music that was less grand an epic. As for Boris, I think that seeing a few of his performances in succession showed that his toolbox is a little limited in comparison to Han Yu. It hate to see Boris go because I loved his battle against Zyko but alas. I also wanted him to stay because he’s one of the few non-Chinese contestants who speak Mandarin relatively well. He had no issues speaking in Mandarin with most of the Chinese people on set. The ending was hilarious, when he was asked whether he had any last words, and Boris was like “well, I’m literally going to see these guys in two seconds when I’m back in the audience, I’m not dying” lmao.

- I don’t know how I feel about how the show has decided to deal with the last 29 contestants, of which three would be chosen to join the 49 dancers advancing. They’re competing fairly with the other contestants that haven’t performed yet, but they’re at a disadvantage compared to the previous contestants that were judged individually. For example, what if the fourth best dancer was better than a dancer that had already entered the 49? It would only be fair if the judges were allowed to take out people from the 46 contestants that had passed. It would’ve been a bigger problem if there were still a lot of big names to go though. Most of the best dancers have already secured a spot for themselves, so I think that’s why I’m not like, the most perturbed.

- I was low key waiting for Xiao Jie’s performance because his audition performance during episode 1 was so amusing. I thought his individual performance was fun! He managed to add some creativity and story telling (Chinese dude getting drunk) but also showcase some of his specialty skills (locking).

- I forgot to mention this before, but it amuses me that so the editing team will so diligently put in a “don’t try this at home” warning message whenever a dancer does a dangerous move haha.

- So the captains are doing a dance battle for the reborn event, but I’m not really sure how this is all gonna work. I’m digging Yixing’s look for the battle btw.

- Anyway, pre-battle hugs for all.

- KRUMPMASTER. Also I think he did some of the routine that he did back in Season 3.

- Not gonna lie, I wasn’t super impressed with Han Geng’s first dance but his second dance was pretty hype.

- Lol Yibo feels most comfortable challenging Yixing during his battles. He did move where he dropped onto his back right after Yixing did it (i.e. being like you can do it but I can do it better). Based on what I saw of season 3, I think Yibo would call out Yixing in his performances then too.

- Yixing was definitely heavy on the krump side, though I actually thought his first performance was really interesting because there was barely any krump in that one. He mostly stuck to other elements. As we got through the other rounds, he became more krump heavy, and I think he lost a bit in terms of variety there.

- The thing about Han Geng is that he’s no longer as athletic, so he relies more on power and control, but he needs to make sure he does the right moves that showcase that.

- I think Yibo impressed me the most. He had a lot of variety in his arsenal and he was very entertaining. He is also quite athletic, so as long as he can imagine it, I think he can do it haha.

- As others mentioned, Henry was extremely creative. He used a lot of dance moves to show a certain action, like tugging a rope or playing pool and such.

- Anyway, big hugs.

- Baby needs a nap.

- Yibo won the most points in the four rounds of the battle. This hug with Han Geng is uwu. Anyway, Tony Gogo mentioned that Yibo interpreted the music very well.

- Of course, Tony Gogo as well as the Gogo brothers praised Yixing for his krumping energy

- Philip said that Han Geng had a really good ear, and that was how he was able to take advantage of the best moments to unleash certain dances.

- The five contestants that were saved were A-wei, Boris, George, JC Jun, and Kelo & Uwa. I definitely think the editors purposely showed us more clips of them so that we’d grow attached lol. The only one of these five that I don’t quite remember is A-wei though. Anyway, very pleased that Boris is back haha.

- Pouty boi

- Yibo, Henry, Han Geng, and Ibuki getting really into 煞科 lol.

- I think next episode is going to have some team performances, which I think will be fun. Some of these teams are STACKED.

- Previews for Hot pot!

- They were talking about songs they listened to in their childhood. Han Geng started singing a song about an Office Black Cat? XD I’m guessing it’s a cartoon haha. Yibo listened to Leehom Wang and Jay Chou. Henry mentioned that he looked up to Leehom because he was also an overseas Chinese, plus he played a lot of instruments (just like Henry). As expected, Yixing looked up to Jay Chou (after all, Jay Chou was one of the earliest artists to popularize using Chinese elements in pop songs). Yixing said he also liked Leehom Wang, JJ Lin, and Khalil Fong (I legit have not heard the name 方大同 in a long time so that took me by surprise lol).

- Yibo mentioned Li Ronghao and Yixing was like OH WAIT YEAH HIM TOO. We know from Idol Producer that Yixing and Li Ronghao are bros haha. The captain says “不榮藝 組合” which pronounced the same as “不容易 組合” which is something like “unlikely duo,” except the the 榮 is from Li Ronghao’s name and the 藝 is from Zhang Yixing’s name lol.

- The robot spilled all the tea! Bad bot!

- I think they later played a listening game that Henry kept losing? lol

[ducktales-wco-oo]

{ for the ooc honest meme } 8, 20 - ✩ { @bitofthisandthat​​ } ✩

8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

Honestly, I’m not a fan of the OVER-aesthetic, the kind of posts that have the teeniest-tiniest font on the world, moving up and down and double-spaced and  s p a c e d  o u t  and with the hella fancy font and colors and emphasis~  Y’know, where you can barely tell what it’s saying and the minuscule, hella-psd icon explains NOTHING. They hurt my eyes and my brain... and my heart thinking about how much html and time must have went into it JKNDSFKJSNDFDSF

I am also against the whole- Witch-Hunt and Callout-Culture. I get warning people against those who are genuinely bad and dangerous— like pedophiles and the like —but many ‘informative’ posts are centered around personal drama with a select group of people, and blow things WAY out of proportion and end up dragging an entire community into their business. When it’d be so much simpler to just- block and move on, and if you feel the need to warn friends or put things into your rules then that’s chill. Your safe-space and all that... but death-threats and anon-hate and turning Everyone against one person over simple personal matters, is petty and immature.

This is more of a personal preference, but I don’t enjoy it when people pester for replies or ‘expect’ them within a certain timeframe. I understand not wanting to wait and I definitely understand dropping threads after months, but I’ve been poked at and prodded for replies before and all it does is just make me lose muse and feel guilty for something that is for FUN. I’ve also been followed and unfollowed repeatedly on different blogs after interactions, as if they expected me to start writing faster and then realized ‘oh, hey... they’re being ‘slow’ again’. Which confuses the shiz outta me because I don’t know if I’m allowed to communicate or write with them anymore DSJKFNKSJDFSDF... But yeah- I appreciate patience and consistency. lol

20. Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?

Not that I can think of? If I wasn’t comfy with something then honestly, I wouldn’t write it. Way back when, before I became accustomed to writing smut, I was discussing threading it with someone despite not feeling entirely comfy with it yet. But we never actually did because I didn’t give the a-okay and the conversation ended up dying out into obscurity. So- Nah. :3 If I don’t wanna write it, then I’m not gonna use up the time and energy to do so. Especially with how long it takes me to write things. XD 

[cal-puddies]

your kind of heaven || pt 4. the great ones || luke hemmings

pt 1. || pt 2 || pt. 3 || pt. 4 || pt. 5 || Pt. 6 || pt. 7 || pt. 8 || pt. 9 || pt. 10

It’s later in the morning than you thought, you notice as you pick up your phone from the entrance table, where Luke had abandoned it with his, the keys and your panties. You move through to the kitchen and hook it into the charger, opening the notifications. There were a ton from Instagram, and you went there first.

Luke is tagged, you are mentioned in the comments. You click on one to see the picture.

Sierra is between Luke and Ashton, she’s pressed to Luke, and he’s lightly touching her upper back, Ash is grinning. Visit to the boys writing trip. Good things coming out of this #thebest #missHim

The boys writing trip. She was there. No wives or girlfriends were invited or even allowed, but apparently, Luke’s ex was fine.

You set your phone down and start making coffee, abandoning it when you decide you don’t want to anymore. You need to get out of the house.

Luke comes up behind you in the bathroom while you’re brushing your teeth. “Thought we'd sleep in.” He says groggily, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You spit the toothpaste out, “Yeah, wanted breakfast kinda early. But we don’t have anything.” You make an excuse.

“Give me a minute, I’ll go with you.” His lips press to your neck.

“Nah, I’m like already ready, I’ll just run out.” You shrug.

“Ok, but put a different shirt on, I can tell you ain’t got no panties on… put on one of mine.” He decides, pulling away so he can go to the bathroom, and his hand smacks your ass.

“Yeah I will, what do you want?” You ask. Luke quickly lists off what he wants and you walk away.

You rifle through the closet, pulling on a sports bra and pulling one of Luke’s shirts off the hanger.

You grab your bag and your phone on your way out the door. And the second you’re alone you can feel the tears prick your eyes.

You drive to the Cafe that you and Luke adore and stand quietly in line, letting it all soak in. Your phone vibrates and you check it, another photo of Luke and Sierra.

This one was her and Luke at a piano, different place so you assumed it must have been the trip to write for her album. Too excited to not share! #beautifulmusic #TogetherAgain.

You don’t even bother with the radio on the drive, letting the silence consume you.

You wait and look over the photo, noticing a new comment from Luke himself, “still bring out the best in each other.”

There were plenty of people commenting, asking about you, his wife.

You take a deep breath and head inside. Luke’s standing in the kitchen, looking at his phone. You carefully set down the bag of food and the coffee meant for him. You don’t say anything, grab your food and head out back to sit in the sun.

Luke gives you a few minutes to yourself before he comes out to join you. “Everything ok, baby?” He asks, sitting next to you.

“Just wanna be alone for a little bit, Luke.” You say quietly.

His face twists up, he doesn’t understand. “Ok…? You look upset.”

“Yep.” You nod. “But I don’t wanna talk about it right now.”

“Did I do something wrong?” He asks. “I thought we were on the same page last night and then… now you're cold.”

“Later Luke.” You shake your head.

Luke spends the day watching you slowly pull further and further away from him and the way you were last night.

You crack a beer at noon, and everything about you says you’d been waiting precisely until noon to do so. You grab the pack of cigarettes and go back out back.

By four, you’d finished the six pack. You weren’t drinking to get drunk, Luke knew that by two, but he also knew enough to be worried. He didn’t know what you were trying to numb.

He orders in. He comes out back to set some food in front of you, knowing you should eat something.

“Sit.” You say, pulling out another cigarette and lighting it. He takes a deep breath, and sits, setting his food in front of him. He watches you take a couple drags and you put the cigarette out. You get up and he watches you make a drink through the back door, biting his lip as you resettle across from him. You look out over your backyard, the pool. “You know you called me Sierra this morning?” You ask quietly, looking across the table at him. “I thought everything was in my head, and I trusted you. Ya know? I kept telling myself, ‘no way, not Luke. Not my Luke, he wouldn’t.’ But… now… I guess maybe you would.” You sigh, “why? Why would you call me by your ex’s name?”

Luke stares at you, he doesn’t know how to respond, he honestly didn’t know he did it.

“See…” you let out a humorless laugh, “you’re taking too long. How am I to trust anything you say?”

“I don’t even know what to say. I didn’t know I did that. I’m still trying to process that.” He defends.

He watches you get up and start pacing, that’s worse than the cigarettes. “And then there’s insta…” you sigh. “I’m not sure… I don’t… I don’t understand, first of all. I didn’t… I know you were mad about Shawn. But we both know where and how far that did and didn’t go. But I… you went away for a week with her, alone. You, her and Ms. P. She shows up on the ‘guys’,” you use finger quotes, “writing trip. And me? I’m here, thinking, ‘man… we’re doing it, we’re gonna fix us,’ but… you’re out there running around with Sierra.”

“Babe…” he’s calm, he knows he needs to stay that way or someone will be leaving the house tonight, and he didn’t want that. “I… there’s nothing there. You know that…”

“I thought I knew that. I don’t know that.” You interrupt, shaking your head.

“Lemme finish.” He pauses, he’s gotta be careful here, needs to say this exactly right; you’re picking up your glass to take a drink before resuming your pacing. “I told you she tried some stuff, while we were away together. You have valid feelings, and I don’t know why she’s posting on insta about me. But I’m only looking at you baby. You gotta know that. You’re my girl. If I wanted to marry her I could have, but I didn’t. I chose you and I’d still choose you every day.” He’s not answering the question, but then again, he doesn’t know how.

“Fuck… Luke. She’s not just posting about you on insta, she’s straight coming for me. She knows exactly what she’s doing and your comment about ‘bringing out the best in each other,’” again with air quotes, “is feeding right the fuck into her. She’s fucking loving this.” You shake your head, “she sees it, you know? She knows we’re struggling right now.” You stop and look at Luke, and he’s ashamed, because he knows he left that comment, and he knows how it looks now, and he’s got nothing to say. “Whatever.” You sigh. “What the fuck ever.” You grab your drink and go back inside and Luke knows he’s locked out of whatever room you decide to go in.

He deletes the comment, without thinking much more about it, and you notice it pretty quick when you’re checking for any other posts she may have made.

-deleting that comment makes you look guilty as fuck. Is all you text him.

Luke doesn’t bother to eat. You’re right, and he knows you’re right to be upset. He absolutely thinks you’re over reacting to some extent, but he can’t and shouldn’t say that. He cleans up the food, and puts it in the fridge for later. He sees you’ve tucked yourself away in the studio. He pours himself a drink and sits against the wall, across the hall from the door. You’ll have to come out eventually, you’ve been drinking most of the day.

He hates that you’re holed up though, he knows that you being holed up means that it’s eating at you, and it’s making it worse in your head.

He sees you’ve been crying the second the door is opened. “I didn’t cheat on you.” He insists. “The only thing I can come up with for this morning is that you did something she used to do, and it was a knee jerk reaction.”

You shake your head, “that doesn’t make sense, Luke. We’ve been married for 3 fuckin years, you shouldn’t have said anything like that for at least the last 4.” You sniffle, “it was too fucking fresh Luke, too easy for you to say that.” You desperately wipe at the tears pouring from your eyes.

“Baby…” Luke stands, holds himself back from trying to step toward you. “C’mon. You know me.”

“Thought I did.” You shrug, moving passed him and up to the bathroom. Luke waits. He sees you head up to the bedroom and he wishes he would have thought of that, to beat you up there.

He lets you sit a little longer, it’s been a long day and he’s exhausted from the silence and stress of it. But he’s determined, you need to talk. He needs you to know it’s not like that at all. And he needs to do it before you sleep on it.

He grabs his keys, you need to eat, he’s going to make you, and you’re going to hear him out in the process.

When Luke returns, he has your favorite drunk food in hand. He comes up to the bedroom and finds you’d left the door cracked.

You give him a sad smile, “I knew what you were doing. I heard you leave.”

“You’ve been drinking all day.” He says quietly.

“I know.” You nod.

“But that shows that you do know me.” He points out, putting the bag of food on the bed. You dig through it and pull out your stuff. Luke sits next to you and gets his.

“I’m hurt.” You say after a while. “It hurt that you called me Sierra… that she showed up to the guys writing trip… that she’s now posting pictures of you shirtless and insinuating you’re sleeping together again. I’m trying not to blow this out of proportion, but it’s really fucking hard right now.”

“Did she post another picture?” He asks, concern all over his face.

You nod, handing over your phone to show him. “Oh.” He sets it down between the two of you and puts his hand on your thigh, “it’s not… we didn’t.” He shakes his head.

“I know.” You sigh. “Unfortunately, she’s dug into one of my biggest insecurities when it comes to you. Which is you leaving me to go back to her, because you still love her or you can’t deal with my shit anymore.”

“I’ll admit, I didn’t know fully what I was signing up for. But I’m not ready to quit because of that. I said life, I mean life.” He squeezes your thigh and pulls you into him. “I love you. I’ve known since I met you, it’d be you.”

“You’re silly, we were both with other people when we met.” You let out a little laugh.

Luke uses both hands to push the hair off your face and he pulls you closer to kiss your nose. “Doesn’t matter. I knew. I didn’t know I knew, but looking back…” his hands fall to your waist. “I’m not gonna do anything stupid like that. I love you. I wanna spend my life with you, Sierra is my past, you’re my present and future. I’m very aware of that.”

“I just don’t know Luke.” You shake your head.

“Well, I do. I know you like the back of my hand, I feel you in every fiber of my being. I’m not giving you up because Sierra all of a sudden wants me back. I’m gonna stop working with her.”

“These words are all nice, Luke, but…  they’re just words.” You feel the tears in your eyes and Luke’s look of concern returns. He thought he had you.

He lets you go as you push away from him, and he grows even more concerned as he watches you pull out a bag to pack.

“Where are you going?” He asks.

“I dunno yet.” You sniffle, wiping at your eyes.

“So stay here.”

“I can’t Luke.” You cry, “I don’t want to be here with you right now.”

“You don’t mean that.” He says quietly, getting off the bed and wrapping you in his arms. “I get you’re upset baby. I understand why. I’m supportive of you being upset, but I don’t want you to leave here. Not in this state. We can work this out.”

“I know we can, I just don’t really wanna be around you right now.” You admit. “I’m still not sure what to think or how to feel. This isn’t fair.”

“I’ll sleep on the couch then babe. Please don’t leave like this.” He begs, “we’ve never just left in a fight…”

“And I’ve never felt like you may have cheated on me before.” You push away from him. You know if you look at him, you’ll see hurt. So you don’t.

You pack the bag, you walk out of the room, down the stairs, you pick up your keys, and out the door.

You know you’re heading to Cal’s.

But that’s the last thing you know.

Luke’s groggy as he answers the phone. “Ello?”

“Luke. Stay Calm.” Cal’s trying to keep his voice even, he doesn’t want to freak him out.

“Cal?” He asks, becoming a little more alert.

“Do you know where your wife is?” Cal asks.

“She left… we… got in a fight.” Luke sits up, turning the lamp on.

“Yeah, she texted me… and then she didn’t show up, like hours had gone by. So I called her, and an EMT answered the phone.”

“EMT?” Luke asks, and then it clicks, “where? What hospital?” He jumps out of bed, pulling on the first pair of sweatpants and hoodie he could find.

“Luke. Stay calm, Ash is almost to your house, he’s gonna pick you up and bring you here.” Cal says.

“Calum. What the fuck. What happened?” He panics.

“I honestly don’t know anything yet.” Cal lets out a sigh, and Luke knows he doesn’t know anything else, he shouldn’t push him.

“Ok… ok. I need to take Ms. P out before Ash gets here. Let me know if you hear anything. Like the second you hear it.” He iterates.

“You know I will Luke.” Cal confirms.

“I love her so much.” Luke whispers.

Taglist: @cocktail-calum @1dthewantedlove @september09241994 @youngblood199456 @lustingforwunder @calumsphile @neso-k @rosecoloredash @radmcqueen @justayoungandwisefangirl @itsnotmyblood @slimthicccal @softboycal @lietoash @pushthetide21 @5sosfanficrec @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles @therealmrshale

gc tags: @sublimehood @sugarcoated-pain @5sosnsfw @angelbabylu @aspiringwildfire @irwinkitten @lashtoncurls @myloverboyash @singt0mecalum

masterlist || ashton || calum || luke || michael

wanna be tagged? go here

[cliveguy]

okay maybe it's just the ppl i follow bc everyone's talking abt hating the les mis webseries so i checked it out and like, here's what i liked / what could be improved if the show gets picked up:

• the idea of having it be for a student project is p cute! and helps work around the fact that cosette wasn't in l'abc in the book

• i also liked eponine a lot, and can see that her story is going to develop a bit! and i liked that she was kinda opposed to the student group without being anti revolution or w/e?

• editing kinda stops any jokes from landing? the pauses in between lines that should have been cut make it seem like people are waiting for their cue to speak

• also sound editing makes it hard to hear things :( my brain is always a little fuzzy, so maybe it was just me - but i had no idea what half the people were saying bc they were just mumbling away

• cldve used closed captions right off the bat imo, ik they're working on them but

• also i personally think the shooting joke has been blown a tiny bit out of proportion? while there 100% should have been a trigger warning, and it did seem to be a little flippant, it's not the end of the world or a reason for something to be condemned (i wasn't a fan of it but it IS the kind of thing an edgy student would say imo, the way it was presented was just a bit weird)

• that being said, i don't like the way the trigger warning stuff was handled and dismissed - also, in future episodes i'd like to see the warning maybe put on the video before each episode? according to the writer, the episodes are going to get darker and, as someone with very bad anxiety who Has triggers, a warning tucked away in the description can be easy to forget or miss

• for a low budget production the set was p nice! i liked the lighting in cosette's room

• the makeup for grantaire wasnt great? i remember thinking it would look better in motion, after seeing it in a promo picture but ... no. i'm a trans guy as well and know the difficulty of a fake beard, but that combined with the red cheeks was messy

• honestly i was just generally a bit confused - it felt almost like a satire of a student group one minute then an honest tribute the next? having enjolras dismiss a nap room felt weird, as that would have been the kind of thing people advocated for, for the sake of mental health, back when i was in college (im not in uni lmao but it still applies)

• and deciding to protest the rise in tuition is also odd, unless it's mirroring the barricade from les mis and these students are gonna go die outside parliament or something, as small student group from bath (which has two unis, i'm guessing they're supposed to be from bath spa, going by which degrees both unis offer) it seems strange that they're focusing on a nationwide issue, especially something that many larger groups have failed to change over the years

but yeah! if u did enjoy it im not attacking you or the show, but pilots exist for a show to be commented on and improved - i hope the show gets picked up and the creators can take criticism on board to create something really good!

[picorihero]

steals this from the thief king @ganondorfthedarklord

i learned it from u dad

▸     IS    YOUR    MUSE    TALL    /    SHORT    /    AVERAGE ? 4ft n ready to kick some shins. (2 inches when CURSED.)

▸      ARE    THEY    OKAY    WITH    THEIR    HEIGHT ? Pre-game, no. After experiencing life at 2 inches tall, he’s ok with what he’s got

▸      WHAT’S    THEIR    HAIR    LIKE ? Uncontrollable fluff.

▸     DO    THEY    SPEND    A    LOT    OF    TIME    ON    THEIR    HAIR     /    GROOMING ? N O P E. Ain’t nobody gonna tame that mane. 

▸      DOES   YOUR   MUSE   CARE   ABOUT   THEIR   APPEARANCE   /   WHAT    OTHERS    THINK ? He’s naturally “good looking” in every incarnation so he never had to care. (although his nose is either non existent or one big snoot lemme tell ye 🤥)

—    PREFERENCES. ▸     INDOORS    OR    OUTDOORS ? he likes adventure in the great wide somewhere.

▸     RAIN    OR    SUNSHINE ? SUN. SHINE. Rain is out to kill him tbh.

▸     FOREST    OR    BEACH ? in ye olde Minish-verse he hasn’t seen the beach, but would definitely prefer the beach once he gets there

▸     PRECIOUS    METALS    OR    GEMS ? depends on the sentimental value. His sword is a “precious” metal ;)

▸     FLOWERS    OR    PERFUMES ? flowers all the way; the natural smell is so good

▸     PERSONALITY    OR    APPEARANCE ? personality!!

▸     BEING    ALONE    OR    BEING    IN    A    CROWD ? a people-person would like to be around people

▸     ORDER    OR    ANARCHY ? Order in the Hyrulean court 

▸     PAINFUL    TRUTHS    OR    WHITE    LIES ? hate to say it but LIES. He hates hurting people, even if it’s with words. 

▸     SCIENCE    OR    MAGIC ? magic because wtf is science? he slept through that class

▸     PEACE    OR    CONFLICT ? he ironically fights for peace.

▸     NIGHT    OR    DAY ? Day

▸     DUSK    OR    DAWN ? Dawn

▸     WARMTH    OR    COLD ? Warmth

▸     MANY   ACQUAINTANCES    OR    A    FEW    CLOSE    FRIENDS ? among having MANY acquaintances he will no doubt gain close friends too.

▸     READING    OR    PLAYING    A    GAME ? PLaY wITh mE. 

—    QUESTIONNAIRE. ▸      WHAT    ARE    SOME    OF    YOUR    MUSE’S    BAD    HABITS ? has a bad case of “hero” complex. Stressed to save everyone. A martyr. Will literally die for someone. Takes it hard when he fails.

▸      HAS    YOUR    MUSE    LOST    ANYONE    CLOSE    TO    THEM ?      HOW    HAS    IT    AFFECTED    THEM ?  he has no parents. He didn’t really know them so he gets a big wave of loneliness and longing from time to time.

▸      WHAT    ARE    SOME    FOND    MEMORIES    YOUR    MUSE    HAS ? hangin’ out with Zelda anytime is always a fond memory.

▸     IS    IT    EASY    FOR    YOUR    MUSE    TO    KILL ? Never. Most cases it’s for defense and safety, but he still feels for the monsters that he’s cut down. It’s not like they can help it... usually. Half the time they’re just irredeemable assholes, but Link wants to believe there’s good in everyone deep down, he just didn’t have a way to unlock that achievement without getting himself (or an innocent bystander) killed.

▸      WHAT’S    IT    LIKE    WHEN    YOUR    MUSE    BREAKS    DOWN ? It’s situational and can go in two directions of uncontrollable rage of Fierce Deity proportions or an outbreak of sobbing and maybe a panic attack thrown in for flavor. 

▸      IS    YOUR    MUSE    CAPABLE    OF    TRUSTING    SOMEONE    WITH    THEIR    LIFE ? Absolutely. Zelda, Ezlo, grandpa Smith, King Daltus (when not possessed lmao)---and so forth. Watch him do a surprise trust-fall. 

▸      WHAT’S    YOUR    MUSE    LIKE    WHEN    THEY’RE    IN    LOVE ? ~nobody knows~ he’s quoiromantic !! 

[fox-household]

Act 2: Teaching An Old Lizard, Chapter 2

This one I feel like I probably should’ve split into two, but here we are. The finally chapter of Act 2, next time we’ll get to meet someone new, so look forward to that. 

FIRST, PREVIOUS, NEXT

When Alphys had left, the child that was home alone decided it was a good time to explore the old rickety house that was now his home for the time being. Asgore skipped over the loungerooms, the kitchens and the outside areas as he had already scouted those out previously, also he didn’t check in the master bedroom, it would be quite rude for him to invade Alphys’ bedroom after all. His main interest was on the other side areas of the house, where some of the hallways were that lead to the other bedrooms and cupboards, which from the slightly better state of it really showed its lack of use, as if no one had been there for quite a while. There were three spare bedrooms of generally equal proportions and size, a medium sized square room, with a closet built into one of the walls. Asgore decided to claim one as his own, specifically the one that already had a mattress on the floor that contrasted with the rest of the room. The mattress looked a little new, as if it had only been used once, and even cleaned, at least much more recently than the rest of the cob-webbed and musty room around him. His first stop in the room as far as he was concerned was the closet which was expectedly empty, with a few bare racks and shelves, he closed the double doors as quickly as he opened them. The goat then tested the springs on the mattress a few times before heading over to the window in the room and used his sleeve to brush some of the dirt off the window. He then rested both of his hands on the bottom edge of the window, pressing down on the wood firmly which felt a little bit… softer than the wood he was used too, but it didn’t distract him enough to remove his stare from the outside. The ledge then made a slight creaking sound as he leant to rest himself and started thinking for a bit. Asgore looked out at the sunny day. ‘’Alright, well I suppose I can say I’m surviving at the Alphys residence. Nothing for Gaster to worry about obviously, he’s such a worry wart, bet he’s already getting tabs kept on me.’’  Despite that disaster that was this morning, he could already feel himself warming up to the place, there were some doubts that had been forming in his head overtime, but he quickly dispelled them, ‘You don’t have to wait for a place to naturally be your home, wrestle with it and assert dominance over your environment, force it to be your home with the power of positive thinking and changing things to your liking’, at least that’s what he kept telling himself, and it worked in some way or another in his head so it continued. After about a minute of pondering random things he exited the room, swearing to return with a blanket and pillow tonight for his rest. Nothing exciting was found for a bunch more of the trip, finding the bathrooms, a few linen cupboards and even the laundry, which was also normal, there was only one extra thing of note in his journey around the building. Eventually he reached a door at an end of a hall. This door didn’t look any different from the other ones, but there were small sounds were coming from the other side, like machinery sounds. However, when he tried to open it, the handle didn’t budge at all, as if it was frozen in place, he tried a number of times but there wasn’t even a slight movement at all. ‘’Huh, guess it’s locked or something? Wonder what’s behind there?’’ Suddenly with a slight jump he heard the front door slam shut on the other side of the house, obviously someone was here, and without checking anything else out, he quickly ran back to make sure it was Alphys, he hoped it was since he didn’t feel like pulling out his trident at the time.

Asgore came around a corner to find Alphys carrying two small brown paper bags, a small disposable plastic container with Dim Sims in them and a bundle of white paper from which an aroma of chips was coming from. ‘’Hey, you need help with that? I mean it looks like quite a lot for lunch’’ Alphys shook her head with a smile as she put it all on the bench, ‘’N-no it’s fine and it’s n-not all for lunch, these p-paper bags have our l-lunch in it, the rest is f-for dinner tonight.’’ The goat picked up one of the bags and looked inside and found what appeared to be a meat pie, his expression was happy and thankful for a good few seconds before suddenly it was hit by a little bit of confusion as he put the bag down. ‘’Thank you so much Al, but ummm, won’t the chips and stuff go cold, you a fan of reheated foods or something?’’. The confusion seemed to spread to the lizard’s face as she seemed to wonder what on earth he was talking about, ‘’B-but I’m just gonna p-put it in th-the…oh…y-yeah’’. A smile crept on her face as she realised why he was confused, ‘’W-we uh have a Hot F-fridge, it’s m-made for Undyne but I use i-it to keep th-things warm as well’’, Alphys picked up dinner and moved to the fridge, which Asgore suddenly noticed had a third compartment over the freezer, which when opened let out a little bit of heat into the air. ‘’Oh hey, that’s pretty neat, maybe I should suggest that to my Undyne, sure she would love it.’’ Alphys nodded with a faint laugh, ‘’Y-yeah, I’m s-sure she w-would, so uh you w-…’’, she froze suddenly as she stared towards the bag Asgore had put down, where which his gaze turned, and he noticed some white dust exactly where he had picked up the bag. The goat looked at his own hands, and with widened eyes he found a thin layer of white dust on both. ‘’B-but what? Wh-what’s going on…?’’, Asgore was starting freak out, breathing quickened as he felt a little bit of fear start blooming. Alphys quickly approached him, her reaction seeming to be similar to the child’s, examining his hand, she looked away for a few seconds, seeming to be thinking of something important before responding. ‘’A-Asgore, just try to c-calm down, it’s n-not Dust, i-it’s not M-monster Dust, wh-where were you while I was gone?’’ The scientist stared into the other’s eyes with a serious look, ‘’Um I was uh wandering around…went down to the bedrooms, j-just checking th-things out, I d-didn’t do anything wrong.’’ Alphys nodded and quickly grabbed a cloth and started wiping up the dust, and gave a nervous smile, it was an attempt to be reassuring, ‘’It’s f-fine, n-nothing’s wrong. I-I don’t go d-down that p-part of the house s-so no wonder it’s…. dirty, the white paint peeling o-off just m-mixes with the dirt a-and stuff. I-I’m t-telling you it’s ok.’’ Asgore nodded and started calming down, feeling the fear disappear slowly, feeling embarrassed and slightly hating the fact that the feeling of dust was so…familiar. ‘’Y-yeah, you’re right, umm sorry for freaking out like that,’’ the yellow monster shrugged as she finally threw the cloth in the sink, ‘’N-no big deal, I w-would’ve done th-the same. H-how about we e-eat some lunch, m-might calm us d-down a bit?’’ He smiled, ‘’Yeah, that sounds like a good idea’’.

Asgore walked straight to the table after getting a plate, very happily throwing out the bag which had the dust on it, while Alphys first grabbed a fork with her plate before sitting down and eating, this table meeting was starting to feel very familiar, not that it was such a bad thing. Asgore was already straight into the pie, taking huge chunks of it at a time with each bite, making sure that any of the insides didn’t spill on him, he obviously had much experience and he was done very soon after which he looked over at Alphys, she had only finished about half of it, slowly picking away at it with her fork, he looked a tiny bit confused. ‘’Do you normally eat pies with a fork?’’ With a nervous expression she shrugged, ‘’Y-yeah….is th-that really w-weird or s-something?’’. The goat quickly sensed her fear of being the odd one out and chuckled, ‘’No it isn’t that bad, umm don’t worry, honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Gaster did it.’’ This answer seemed to satisfy Alphys more than expected, the smile seemed to be a little smug for a reason he was unaware of. ‘’Alphys, what’s behind the locked door on the other side of the house, the handle wouldn’t budge.’’ Her smile turned to a confused expression, ‘’Umm wh-what locked door? N-none of my d-doors lock?’’ ‘’Yeah Al, there was one with noises on the other side, like mechanical noises, I just couldn’t open it.’’ The scientist’s expression remained confused, but now there was a deep concern, and some hesitation before she responded carefully, ‘’O-oh y-yeah, I forgot, that’s where m-my lab is, ummm the door j-jams every n-now and then. M-makes th-things difficult sometimes heh’’. The goat seemed a little worried about the reaction from her, but he decided to leave it for now. Silence remained for a couple of minutes before Alphys finally spoke up, ‘’H-hey uh Asgore, d-do you h-have any p-plans for the night?’’. He shook his head, ‘’You got anything in mind?’’ with which the Lizard gave a nervous smile, but unlike the last one, there was excitement in her eyes, ‘’Umm I-I thought th-that m-maybe we could have a m-movie n-night or something….i-if you w-want of course.’’ Asgore suddenly perked up with a happy grin, ‘’That sounds awesome! What’re we gonna watch?’’ Alphys let out a sigh of relief, feeling some her nerves wash away, ‘’Phew, I-I’m glad, I m-may have already b-bought s-snacks and s-stuff for it and uh whatever you want….how a-about you g-go look in the c-cabniet under th-the TV while I get th-that stuff out of th-the car? Got a s-something to sh-show you too.’’ The enthusiastic child got up out of his chair, seeming to be buzzing with excitement, ‘’Say no more my friend, I’ll get straight onto this very important task’’, he said as he slowly started leaving the kitchen to head to the loungeroom, ‘’Need any help with the stuff?’’. Alphys shook her head and Asgore started to head off quickly around the doorway. ‘’W-wait!! Ch-check out th-the left side of th-the sh-shelf’’, she quickly warned him, assuming that the ones on the left would appeal to the goat more, assuming Mew Mew: Kissy Cutie wasn’t his thing, but before she got the stuff from the car, there was one last thing to take care of.

Asgore had opened the TV cabinet with extreme vigour, looking to find it filled with lined up DVD’s, which he soon realised, with an amused sigh, was all anime. He remembered Alphys saying something about staying to the left, and he figured out why when he looked at the right side which a lot of was just pink and what he guessed were meant to be cute cat girls or something, so he stayed to the left. On the left appealed much more to him, with there seeming to be more animes with tales of adventure and magic, escapades and peril with heaps of different settings, stuff more to his style. The kid went through them one by one, checking out their back, but he finally stuck to one that satisfied him, a movie called ‘The Curse of Rebellion’. ‘In a world where gods rule with an iron fist, most people live happy and safe. However, the gods decided to keep human population down for fear of their being to many humans to keep in line, so they randomly dealt out a curse to young teenagers, a curse that causes them to be evicted from the homes and families that once cherished them and to be eternally hunted by horrible monsters until they finally succumb to darkness. This story centres on a group of such teens with this slowly growing accursed curse mark, on their quest to do what no other has done, defy the gods and beat back the fate given to them. Join them on their adventure for survival through their medievalesque world where magic is everywhere, but so is danger. Will they be able to change their fate?’ The art on the box had people wielding swords, guns and stuff that appeared to be magic and such, that and what was described sounded perfect to Asgore, with an excited grin jumped and landed on the couch on his back. Waiting for Alphys to return. Asgore heard her return and head into the kitchen first, before those little footsteps started to approach the couch, for which he sat up and gave her a smile that turned to a slight expression of curiosity, ‘’Hey, what you got there?’’ Alphys was carrying a small pot with what appeared to be a leaf sticking out of the dirt, ‘’Umm w-well you s-see, I’m r-really sorry a-about possibly k-killing all those plants, and y-you were so passionate a-about it. So ummm I g-got this p-plant to practise w-with, so I’ll be able to help y-you with the gardening better’’. While Asgore thought that it probably wasn’t necessary to learn plant care with another plant since the only issue was watering amounts, but the thought she put into it made him feel happy. Also, the powerful curiosity of the plant had distracted him as he listed of the info he needed, its origins, how easy it was to care for, what colour it would be, exactly what temperature and humidity levels it thrived at, what type of soil it needed and how much sun was required. The goat jumped over the couch, leaving the DVD behind as he went up to it and examined, his rapid thoughts being summed up into one sentence, ‘’So tell me, what is it? What type?!’’ Alphys seemed a little amused at his excitement as she answered, ‘’It’s an African V-violet Flower, it uh is a-apparently easy t-to take care of, s-so I thought it w-would be a g-good idea to get this one.’’ He seemed to be thinking, the name was familiar to him, he remembered them as being small houseplants, but he needed his book, which reminded him of something he was going to have to quickly do this afternoon, before it got to dark. ‘’Well that’s really cool, I think you’ll be able to look after it very well, I look forward to seeing it bloom. If you need any tips, don’t hesitate to ask, I will assist however I can!’’ She laughed softly, ‘’Th-thank you Master Gardner, I-I’ll m-make sure to l-listen to y-your teachings’’. Asgore chuckled, ‘’Yes, you will make for an excellent protegee’’. Alphys made a sound of amusement as she simply smiled happily, ‘’Hey, did you p-pick something?’’ The kid nodded and ran over to grab the DVD, then came back to practically shove it in her face, ‘’This one!!’’ She proceeded to grab the DVD, a bigger smile creeping up as she read the title, ‘’Oh th-this one, this is r-really really good. Y-you made a good choice, I can think of a character similar to you actually, because when Sophia is in danger of the Dem-…..’’, she stopped and looked embarrassed, scratching the back of her head, ‘’Oh uh sorry about that, suppose avoiding s-spoilers w-would be th-the best idea’’. The goat gave a shrug in response, ‘’No harm done, happy to see we can both be hyped for this one, this will be the best movie night ever!’’ Alphys seemed to regain some confidence, matching Asgore’s excitement herself, ‘’I-it sure will be, a night to remember alright!’’ The goat grinned, ‘’I’m glad to hear it, but before outside gets to dark, I need to do something, can I borrow your phone Al? Just need to call the house you know?’’ She nodded and handed him the phone, ‘’I uh understand, g-good luck’’. Alphys then scampered off to her room to do whatever she did, while Asgore moved to the backyard, really hoping that this was going to go well.

*~Ring, Ring Ring, Ring~* Asgore felt himself waiting impatiently, the worry was killing him, he felt he was rolling a dice to see who he would get to answer. Then the rings stopped, and a sound played and then a familiar voice, ‘’Hello, this is the Quantum Gaster residence’’. He sighed, this wasn’t who he was expecting or hoping for, but he was glad it wasn’t Gaster at least. ‘’Uh hi Sans, just wanted to call in’’. There was silence on the other end for a few seconds before any noise was returned, ‘’Oh hey…. What do you want Asgore?’’ ‘’Nothing much, but um could you please pass me off to Undyne or Frisk? Don’t want to b-bother you’’ he said with a slight nervous laugh. ‘’…Gladly’’, and then sounds were heard on the other end, some talking he couldn’t quite pick up before a new voice appeared, he was relieved that it was on that was a lot happier than the previous one. ‘’Hey! What’s up punk, how’re you?!’’ ‘’I’m all good, safe and sound, you?’’ ‘’Yeah um, everything’s pretty chill here, why do you need me?!’’ ‘’I kinda want to ask a favour of you if that’s ok, I’ll owe you one for this’’. ‘’Here ya go, special delivery to Mr Asgore Dreemur!’’ Undyne exclaimed as she handed Asgore a box filled with clothes, a book, a picture and a few other random things, they were his belongings, mostly essentials that he would need since he was moving out, they were all out the front of his old home. ‘’Hey Asgore, are you ok?’’ The goat looked over at Frisk, the concern in their face and voice was incredibly prominent and even Undyne looked uncertain, they both were going to bring this up all along. ‘’Yeah I’m all good, Alphys is going to take good care of me, she’s not a stranger or anything’’. Frisk sighed, ‘’You know that’s not what I meant’’. Undyne decided to pitch in now, ‘’Yeah, I mean, this whole hiding thing and avoiding people isn’t really like you…’’. Asgore tried to give a reassuring smile, ‘’Don’t worry, I’m going to be ok, trust me, probably be good for everyone if there’s space between us.’’ Frisk crossed their arms, he could tell they were examining the goats face for a sign of anything. ‘’You do realise that it would be ok for you come inside right? Maybe a quick hello? Everyone was getting real worried for you. Gaster wasn’t happy, Al was worried…’’, Undyne nodded, ‘’Man, I don’t think I’ve seen Tori look down, not like this…’’ Asgore titled his head slightly, ‘’What’s the matter with Tori?’’, with which a silence developed between them before Frisk spoke up. ‘’Asgore…I think she might be blaming herself for your departure’’. Asgore’s calm smile disappeared, guilt was written all over his face, ‘’But it’s not her fault, not really…’’, Frisk’s calm tone finally got a lot more exasperated, ‘’Well then tell her that! Don’t just leave her emotionally too!’’. Undyne looked at Frisk with a little concern, ‘’Hey uh calm down a bit, I’m sure it isn’t that e- ‘’ ‘’No, they’re right, I’ll go give her a visit, I can’t just let her remain like that, I’ll head to her window.’’ Frisk smiled, ‘’Thank you Asgore, good luck, make sure to come around every now and then, we’re going to want to hear about your crazy adventures at Glitch’s place.’’ Undyne finally lost her uncertain face and it was replaced with grinning expression, ‘’Yeah dude, make sure you see us, otherwise I’ll kick your butt and drag you here myself punk’’. The goat responded with a challenging grin at the fish monster with which she gave back in kind. ‘’Heh that would require you to actually be able to beat me’’. ‘’Oh, you’re on Dreemur’’. Undyne looked ready to spar right there and then, even summoning a small spear in hand, but then Frisk started to drag the warrior away, ‘’C’mon Undyne, he’s got an important job to do’’. Undyne groaned, ‘’Fiiiiine, next time you come around, I’ll show you who’s the strongest’’. Asgore chuckled, ‘’Yeah, I look forward to it, you two stay safe.’’ The pair walked back into house after one final wave to each other. The goat child sighed and took a few deep breaths to prepare for his next task, the most important one.

Toriel was laying on her soft bed in her usual pink jumper, only reading a book, although her mind was anywhere but the book. Thinking about past events, mistakes, obviously nothing positive, not much felt positive at the moment. The goat monster had been sitting there for a couple of hours, preferring some alone time currently, so when a sudden loud knocking on his window happened, she jumped up and looked around startled, a small scared scream being heard as she looked around for the source, only to find a familiar face at her window. Asgore had a nervous smile at her reaction, watching her approach the window with that familiar expression and open it, preparing himself for the reckoning he was about to get, ‘’Gorey, you can’t just go up to a girl’s window like that, people are going to think you’re a creeper or something!’’ Asgore winced with shame, ‘’Oh uh sorry Tori…’’. Her serious and slightly annoyed expression softened and turned to a smile, ‘’Hey cheer up dummy, it’s ok. I’m glad you came, even it was far from normal’’. The boy chuckled at her teasing tone and seemed to relax more now, a calm smile coming to his face. ‘’Heh yeah, well I came to make sure you’re alright, a bit worried you might be not feeling so great…’’. Tori’s expression grew a bit warmer at hearing the start of that sentence, but towards the end her smile grew, but not warmer or kinder, but obviously put on to be reassuring. It saddened Asgore that he had to get good at noticing these fake expressions over the last couple years, and it only confirmed what the other two said about her. ‘’What? About you leaving us to go live someone else, after all these…years. I’ll be fine alright? Don’t worry about me.’’ Asgore’s expression showed he wasn’t entirely convinced, throwing some concern into his stare and Tori knew that she wasn’t entirely getting away from this one. The girl gripped her arm, still putting on a weaker smile, ‘’It’s nothing to worry about, just it’s gonna be weird without you around you know? You’re just always there and…well honestly, I didn’t foresee it changing like this.’’ He nodded, it made sense, he didn’t entirely foresee this change either, he did agree that it was going to be weird not being with his family, no matter its state. ‘’You know why I’m leaving right?’’ Tori looked as if she was about to answer confidently, but Asgore’s stare made it clear that fake reassuring answers weren’t what he was looking for. ‘’N-not really, no’’. ‘’Because I think space between me and everyone else is a good idea, after all the tension everyone is dealing with, I can’t help feel…that I’m not helping.’’ Tori suddenly seemed to fire up a bit, ‘’It’s not your fault Gorey, don’t even say such things’’. Asgore didn’t really answer and just continued, ‘’Yeah, well Gaster isn’t mad at me for no reason, and including the same tension caused from you all walking on eggshells around me…trust me I notice’’. ‘’Stop talking like that, the tension is going down slowly, it’s no where near as bad as it used to be! It’s not you.’’ Tori’s expression looked a little concerned as Asgore smiled faintly, yet it seemed a bit darker than before, ‘’I’m…..glad to hear that, but I can’t help feel that my absence would make things go down quicker, I feel like things will get better if I disappear’’. Words echoed through his head, ‘’ …. or better yet, never having met you in the first place''. ‘’No! Asgore you’re wrong! There is no downside to you being here!’’ ‘’The decision is final Toriel…’’ She sighed, using her name like that wasn’t something that happened often, by anyone, especially Asgore, ‘’Just t-to make sure you know, it’s never to late to come back, even Gaster would say so’’. Asgore nodded, ‘’I know…maybe that offer will be taken up later…I think I’m going to go now.’’ Tori gave a defeated sigh, but then gave a big smile, once more trying to cheer up the mood before they both parted. ‘’Well don’t worry about things over here, everything will be sorted, you just make sure to stay safe. If any funny business to MY Prince Fluffles, I’ll be over there in an instant, just give me the word….’’ There was a silence for a few seconds before she finished her sentence, ‘’…I’m going to miss you’’. Asgore gave a genuine smile, ‘’I’m going to miss you too, don’t worry, I’ll make sure to visit, and we’ll still see each other at school.’’ The mention of them at school seemed to have given Tori a pained expression, he was glad she didn’t decide to bring it up, not like Grillby and Gaster weren’t on his case for it constantly, but it’s not like he could tell them, it wouldn’t end well. But the girl’s expression turned to a big attempt at a reassuring smile ‘’Alright Gorey, I’ll see you soon then, good luck on your new adventures.’’ Asgore gave a smile back, ‘’Yeah, thanks. You stay safe too alright?’’. With a nod from Tori he walked towards the front of the house with his box, a hurt expression on his face as he left, he could feel sadness welling up. Tori moved away from her window and sat on her bed and looking at the ground, feeling herself close to tears, both feeling their true nature come out.

Asgore made it back to Alphys’ place and put his box in his room quickly, at least the one he claimed to be his room. The goat didn’t fully empty his box, but he put all his clothes in the cupboard, and a photo frame next to his bed, a picture of a specific campfire. The goat decided it was getting a bit dark so he got dressed into his pyjamas, which was just a soft pair of a shirt and shorts, nothing real exciting. After that he swiftly headed out to the loungeroom where he found Alphys, already in her Purple Kitten pyjamas and reading a book on the couch, which she turned from at hearing Asgore approach. ‘’O-oh h-hey welcome back. Things g-go ok?’’ with which the goat child nodded. ‘’Yeah it went well, but not as well as this movie night is going to go, when are we starting?’’ Alphys shrugged, ‘’Uh it’s starting to get dark, s-so now if y-you’re that keen for it?’’ he let out a grin, ‘’Sounds awesome, I’ll get it set up if you want.’’ The lizard shook her head, ‘’I’ll d-deal with f-food if you c-can deal with the DVD’’. Asgore let out a ‘Hmph’ as if that was a challenge. ‘’Yeah of course I can do this, just trust me.’’ ‘’Oh, uh alrighty th-then.’’ Alphys scampered off to get the food while Asgore started pressing all the buttons on the DVD player until the tray opened.

‘’Woohoo YEAH!! That was AWESOME!!!’’ Asgore exclaimed, while jumping around in between the couch and TV. Alphys was grinning excitedly, ‘’I know right?! What about the way they revealed Harashimo was the carrier of the demon all along?!’’ ‘’Oh yeah, that totally got me, didn’t see it coming at all, made me feel bad for the guy…but what about that awesome final battle sequence with the Dragons and Fireballs raining down as people fought with their might, putting everything on the line for their brave cause?!’’ ‘’That was awesome to, th-the animators are r-really good with action i-in this company, it’s what they’re known f-for, although I-i wouldn’t trust them with any other genre.’’ They both let out a deep breath to try and calm down slightly. Alphys looked over to see if they had any food left, but it had been demolished, the hot chips, potato cakes, dim sims, potato chips, lollies and chocolate had been eradicated by the two of them. ‘’I-I might have t-to sh-show you the series after this’’. Asgore froze, and slowly turned to Alphys. ‘’What did you just say?’’ ‘’Oh umm w-well the movie is b-based on the series…it’s uh well still going, but I h-have a few seasons here.’’ Asgore grinned, ‘’We should watch it now.’’ ‘’But Asgore, i-it’s getting k-kinda late don’t y-you think?’’. ‘’Pretty please Alphys? Just a couple of episodes? Just a couple and then we’ll go to bed.’’ Alphys watched Asgore plead to her, and she really couldn’t say no to that, he was acting way to freaking adorable. ‘’O-oh ok, f-fine…just t-two…’’

The scientist suddenly woke up and looked around with squinty eyes, trying to work out where she was. The bright light soon confirmed that she had fallen asleep under a blanket on the couch, while watching the show, and with a sigh she moved her arm to grab the remote and turn the TV off. Suddenly shivers went down her as she realised it was really cold out here in the loungeroom, even with a blanket. She moved to get up to go to her bed where it would definitely be warm, but a weight on her stopped any form of leaving the couch. With a confused expression she looked down to find Asgore leaning on her from outside the blanket, snoring loudly and a small trail of drool coming out of his mouth. ‘’Oh g-goodness, Asgore h-how’re you asleep? G-geez you’re r-really something. Better properly t-take of you though, Gaster will have my head if y-you get sick on y-your second night’’ She was feeling incredibly jealous of his fur at the moment, but she needed to make sure he would at least stay warm. It was an arduous task, but eventually she managed to get the ends of the blanket from underneath him and wrapped it around, so they were sharing the same blanket which to her enjoyment brought a bit more warmth, also she wiped that drool off with the blanket with an eye roll. Alphys watched Asgore sleep for a little bit as he thought for a bit, ‘Maybe, just maybe this whole situation could work out. Things could actually go well’. ‘’For once’’. Alphys ignored the small comment the voice made as she slowly drifted off herself, feeling happy as she lost consciousness.

It was around the middle of the day when Asgore decided to try and figure out the mystery of the ‘Dust’ that he got on his hand. All he really had to do was retrace his steps, but nothing came up. The halls had nothing, his room’s closet handle was the same, the window ledge felt a little different, smooth and hard, but he put it down to being tired, ‘’Wow, maybe I’m just really unobservant, but it had to come from somewhere’’. Even the lab door didn’t have anything on it, although it did look a little…shinier than it was before. The curiosity the goat had got the better of him as he tried the door handle once more and opened smoothly, as if there was literally nothing that was in its way, no sign of single possible jam. To him the hinges looked very healthy with no sign of rust of anything, and the handle felt like it was brand new on repeated attempts at using it. ‘’What am I missing?’’ Asgore said out loud as he looked where it leads, directly after opening the door, there was a large flight of stairs that must’ve lead under the house, the sounds of machines were louds without the door in the way. ‘’So, I guess that’s where the lab is located then.’’ Asgore decided it was not a good idea to check it out without permission, who knows what was down there.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

I will always love you baby girl; Steve Rogers x teen reader

This was my first Stve Rogers request on Wattpad now BEWARE of swearing, bullying, slight angst from mother abandonment but I promise you guys it ends in Daddy! Steve Rogers fluffiness. I hope you all enjoy it :) 

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*Steve's POV 16 years ago*

I was in my apartment waiting for Sarah to arrive since she texted me about something important that she wanted to tell me. I was anxious and truthfully afraid. What if she wanted to break up with me? What if she was a HYDRA agent? Wait hold on Steve calm down, you're taking this way out of proportion. Breathe and calm down, maybe it's not as serious as that.

It was then the doorbell rang.

I stood up and looked through the peephole to see Sarah standing outside. I opened the door and greeted her,

"Hey Sarah, good to see you". I leaned in to kiss her but she turned away and immediately came inside the house stating.

"We've gotta talk Steve". I closed the door and we both sat down on the couch and I asked her.

"What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"I wouldn't call it okay, Steve, I'm pregnant, and it's your child".

I was shocked.

"Umm.....really? You are?"

"Yes". She stated but not in a nervous tone that most girls would usually say. Her tone sounded bland almost as if she didn't care.

"Well umm, don't worry, if it helps I'll give support to you and our child, because I'll always be there for you both".

"Actually, you can just be there for it". She said coldly.

Now I was confused.

Why was she acting like this?

"Sarah I—I don't understand....."

"Steve, you always said that you wanted to have children especially after you lost that privilege when you gave your life, and you would be a great father for anyone's child, but I'm not cut out to be a mother, hell I can’t tolerate children period. I will give birth to your baby, but after that I want out of the picture—permanently".

This was all heartbreaking and hard to come at me all at once.

I mean I've seen many things before in my lifetime, but this was the hardest blow I've ever had to take. Sarah didn't want to raise our child together, she's just dumping him or her all on me and she's not even caring what happens in the end.

I took a deep sigh and said.

"If that's what you want, then I accept". Sarah nodded then she stood up and said.

"Goodbye Steve, see you in nine months". She left me alone in my apartment with a heavy heart and a broken spirit.

*9 months later still Steve's POV*

I received a call from the hospital that Sarah was in labor so I immediately rushed towards the hospital to be by her side, even though we haven't even so much as talked since our breakup I still wanted to be there especially since after the birth, I'll be taking our child home while she leaves us forever to do whatever it is she's gonna do.

I made it to her room and immediately went to her side and asked her.

"How you holding up?"

"Just be thankful I'm only doing this once, cause after this I'm never having sex with any man again! AHHHH!!" I took her hand and allowed her to squeeze as tightly as she wanted since my serum doesn't allow me to feel labor grips.

After a couple more hours, Sarah gave birth to a healthy baby girl. The nurse cleaned her up and with Sarah refusing to hold her, I held out my arms and was given my daughter. As I looked down at her, I began to take notice of how innocent and beautiful she was.

Like a little angel.

After Sarah was taken away into a separate recovery room, I stayed with my baby girl that I decided to name (y/f/n) (y/m/n) Rogers.

"I promise (y/n), you may not have the mother you've always wanted, but I promise to be the best dad that you'll ever have. I promise to love and always be there for you my baby girl. I swear to you". As tears fell down my face I gently kissed her small forehead and held her tiny hand with my index finger.

Now I've got myself a new mission that'll never go away and cannot fail, to be the Greatest dad she'll ever have and to always be there for her when she needs it.

*FF 16 years present day, Your POV*

Let me just start off by first explaining that High School SUCKS!!! It does it really, really, REALLY SUCKS!!!

Now I get the fact that I'm the daughter of the Great Captain America and don't get me wrong I love my dad and all, but it sickens me that people only want to be my friends only to see my dad or any other of the Avengers (which I am both proud and sometimes embarrassed to call my uncles and aunt).

And when I deny people access to any Avengers, they turn onto the Bullying whether physically, verbally but mostly Virally. I always receive hate about how I'm such a BITCH for denying them access into seeing their 'role models' when I know most of them wanna sleep with my family, claim a spot on the Avengers because their parents are rich snobs (of course I don't mean my Uncle Tony *cough* at least not sometimes *cough*).

My behavior ever since the bullying has been rough for me, I had lost some weight, I barely ate at the dinner table with my dad, and I barely went to the Tower after school like I usually did, I would just stay locked in my room reading all the hate mail just to see how much hate I've received today.

But one day at school a truthful fact which I have NO IDEA how it got out, came to hit me like a train.

As I was getting things out from my locker, one of the High bitches of the school (g/n) came up to me with her posse.

"Hey (y/n), you know the girls all over the school are having a Mother/Daughter sleepover here at the school tomorrow night, care to come?" She stated.

"Oh (g/n) you know she can't come". One of her posse members stated.

"Oh yeah that's right because your mother dumped you with your father".

I paused and tried so hard not to punch her or end up crying.Ever since I was told by my father when I was just 4 years old about my mom, I had always blamed myself for her leaving and believed that she hated me since she said 'I'm not good with kids, hell I can barely tolerate them'. Which is why this high school is the fourth school in my life that I had to transfer to because whenever someone mentioned my mom abandoning me, I would get so mad and end up starting fights in school.

It happened 2 times in Elementary school and once in the 7th grade and another time my freshman year at a different High School.

I gripped my books tightly as they continued to taunt.

"I can only imagine what is must be like to have a mother that's so ashamed of you that'd she'd leave you with a Super hero father".

"Oh look she's shaking! What's the matter baby? Gonna cry to daddy for help?"

"No I think I know why her mother ditched her, she's such a p***y". Now the whole school was hearing these girls mock me and all began laughing and calling me cruel names.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore.I raced out of the school and just kept running and running. I didn't care where I ended up or where I would go, I just figured that the farther I ran, the faster I would be away from my troubles.

As I was running, I never took notice that my feet had taken me to Avengers Tower.

I raced into the elevator and pressed a random button and as it went up, I took deep heavy breaths as I tried to keep in my tears as I was about to have an Emotional breakdown. Whenever I would get too upset, I would have these Emotional breakdowns and almost nothing could stop them from coming, so my best bet was to get to my room before anyone saw me.

As the elevator reached my floor, I raced out only to hear a voice say.

"Whoa there (n/n) aren't you suppose to be in school?" I turned to see Uncle Tony alone with Uncle Bruce, Uncle Clint and Aunt Natasha.

"(Y/n), are you alright?" Aunt Nat asked. I remained silent and raced towards me room.

"(Y/n) wait!" Uncle Clint cried out.

"Call Steve, Clint and I will find out what's going on". Natasha said to Bruce as she and the archer raced up after me while Bruce called my dad.

I shut my door and ordered JARVIS to bolt it shut as I crawled into my bed and to torment myself even further see what the kids at school were saying.Just as I suspected.

That girl is a harlot with a bitch of a mother!

Motherless child, probably should've gotten an abortion instead of having her.

Why even bother with a child you don't even want. Be better off if she was dead!

It just went on and on and on.

And to make it even more fun someone even made a fake, over dramatic, lame video of how my mother left me and my dad by having (G/n) the Queen B play my mother and calling me a bitch's child that she wanted nothing to do with me because I was a worthless bitch who would amount to nothing.

I threw my phone at the wall as tears continued to fall down from my face and my body continued to shake.I then heard a soft knock at the door.

"GO AWAY!!" I cried out.

"(Y/n) it's just us, Nat and Clint. Come on kid open up" said Natasha from the other side of the door.

"LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T WANNA SEE ANYBODY!! NO ONE WANT'S ME!!"

"Hey that's not true kiddo".

"THEN WHY DIDN'T SHE!?!?" I screamed. They went silent at the other end then I assumed they left because I heard footsteps trailing away. I remained curled up in my bed sheets as I continued to sob hysterically trying to let out all my pain but it could only come out in short gasps, chokes and even hiccups.

"(Y/n) open up it's me". I heard my dad's voice say.

"I don't wanna talk!"

"Come on baby girl, I just wanna see if you're okay". It was then my door became unlocked (traitor JARVIS) and my dad entered my room and sat down by my bedside. He gently rubbed my back through the sheets and he said, "can you look at me so I can see that beautiful face of yours?" I shook my head. "Oh come on (y/n), can't I see that beautiful, wonderful, innocent face that I love so much? You remember what I would always do to make you come out from the blanket?" I remained silent because I could imagine his famous smirk that he was pulling off right now.

The room was silent and neither he or I made any sudden movements.

That was until he picked me up through the sheets before throwing them off me and he began to tickle me as he wrapped his legs around mine pinning them to the ground and my arms pinned to my side while he tickled my stomach. I was screaming with laughter begging for him to stop.

"Are you gonna tell me what's wrong if I stop?"

"HAHAHAHAHA YES! YEHEHEHEHESS! PLEHEHEHEASE PAPA! I'M BEHEHEHEHGGING YOU!!" Finally he stopped tickling me.

I rolled off of him and the two of us sat up on my bed and he said as he wrapped his arm around me.

"Now what's going on baby girl?"

"Dad—why did she leave us? Was it really my fault she left?"

"No, no sweetheart, come here" he held out his arms and I crawled into his lap while he wrapped his arms around me again in a warm embrace. "Your mother she—she just wasn't ready to be a parent. But just know that it had nothing, to do with you. Some people are mean to be parents and some aren't, its just on how they view things. But I can tell you this, you have so many people that love and care about you deeply that we'll do anything to make sure you have a good life. You're the only one in the universe that has the Avengers as not only friends, but a family that will always be there for you". I sniffled as he gently wiped away the tears from my cheeks as I nodded.

"Thanks papa, I love you".

"I love you too baby girl, and I always will". We embraced each other tightly.It just goes to show, even though I didn't have a mom, I at least have a really cool dad whose not only a Superhero to the world, but he's always a hero to me just being my dad and not Captain America.  

[midnighthour]

New year, new age, new theme, new beginnings.

It’s gonna be a good one so if you wanna stick around, go for it. But if not, please don’t and save everyone the trouble. :)

So I FINALLY changed my blog theme after like what 3-4ish years? oops :P I loved my trippy little rainbow bud leaves but posts were all over the place and on top of each other, it was a hot mess. Just like with myself, a change was insanely overdue. Whatever, this year is going to be the best one yet! No matter what I have to do I WILL NOT let anything or anyone get me down! I am officially in the IDGAF stage of my healing.

I don’t care what I write, who sees it, or how they feel about it.

I don’t care what people think of me anymore. 

I don’t care if people like me or not. 

I don’t care if people want to be in my life or not. 

I JUST DON’T GIVE A FUUUUUCCCKKKK. :D

I have never felt so empowered while being this lonely in my entire life. If I ever felt sad and/or lonely previously, I was always that debbie downer going on and on about how I hated my life and cutting like fucking crazy. But not anymore! I still have random urges to cut every now and then, it’s like a drug. I am not going to lie and say I don’t think about it and miss it sometimes because the release was nice as hell but is it really worth scarring the SHIT out of my hips worse than they already are? OH HELL NAH. And I would hate to ruin all of the work I have done on myself. It has been a long and hard battle with my depression and anxiety but I am slowly but surely getting better and looking back, I am SO much better than I was. And really all I had to do was cut some toxic ass people out of my life, get a little high and surround myself around the horses. I have never been a religious person but I have always believed in God and that everything happens for a reason (not saying other people should feel that way, that’s just my own beliefs). I am so grateful that my guides have given me the strength to see the truth in people and show me the right path for myself. My job has been awesome, my opportunities are growing larger and larger with each day and I have never loved a job so much! As I’ve mentioned before, last year was a fucking mess. Failing out of school (I am not ashamed to say it anymore), losing friends left and right, breaking up with my bf of six years, my car dying on me a week before xmas, all a blessing in disguise! It was like life was trying to tell me that I didn’t need these people in my life and that clearly my place is here at the barn. It may have taken me a little while to realize it but it all makes sense now. My mom has always told me that when you see people for who they really are, believe them. I thought this was just one of those mom things, but she was so fucking right (ugh we all hate that). I am so done chasing after people, trying to keep them in my life when they obviously don’t want to be. And not only that but I have completely accepted the fact that it is OK to not have them in my life. If they are meant to be in my life, they will be. If not, that’s fine. It’s all for the best. 

Meanwhile, yes I do feel very lonely at times. I would be lying if I said I didn’t get a little sad sometimes. That and I am very sexually deprived. I do not miss the toxic ass relationship that I was stuck in for (too many) years, but I miss the intimacy. Just the touch and feel of someone else’s body against yours. I still dream of him, all the fucking time. And almost all of them are somewhat if not all sexual, and I fucking hate it. Mostly because I do not want to miss him, I really don’t. I wish it was easy for me to forget about him and move on like the past six years meant little to nothing. But I just can’t. Don’t get me wrong, I had some wonderful times with him in those years, but I also had many bad times... Some that outweigh the good. But all of that is water under the bridge now, all a learning experience. There are times where I wish I could just call him and talk to him like nothing ever happened, to have my best friend back. But then I remember that I do not need him like I thought I did. I thought I would be nothing without him and yet, here I am without him and I have never been more comfortable with myself. 

One more thing to wrap up this long ass post: I just want to point out that I do not write these posts to rant, get peoples attention/ notes, pity or any of that nonsense. I write on here simply because I have a voice that I always had bottled up inside me and the only times I ever let it out was when I was at a breaking point and let it burst out. But like always, people ruined shit like that for me. They took things the wrong way and made something out of nothing. And for a long time I felt like I couldn’t fucking say anything because no matter what I said or how I said it, someone would have a heart attack and blew if out of proportion. I have a right to voice my thoughts and opinion as everyone else does. Granted unless you are some kind of asshole hurting others than ok, you probably shouldn’t voice your thoughts. But I am just a sad girl trying to feel happy and comfortable in her own skin. I just want to shed some light in this dark ass world we live in and try to spread some of my good vibes onto others. I just want to take what I have learned from my experiences and share them with others that might be going through something similar. I am not sitting here thinking “ooh what can I write today to get people to notice me and get notes” EW NO. I never have or ever will be one of those attention seekers. I literally started crying while people sang happy birthday to me in a restaurant the other day because I was so overwhelmed. But the point is, I am not here for ANYONE’S approval, I write whatever the fuck I feel like writing and that’s just it. I always liked journaling but it was always hard for me to keep up with it as I found it was too easy for me to get distracted and put my pen down in the middle of writing something and have to go back and fix it, where on here typing is so much easier.

So for all the people and dicks out there reading these posts (if anyone actually does read these), please take into consideration that I am a human being. I make mistakes  and I am not and never will be perfect. The only thing I can do and what we can all do is learn from our mistakes and and move the fuck on. Be fucking proud for what you have accomplished and ALWAYS be grateful for what you have, and lost. Cause even though it may feel like shit, there’s always something better waiting for you. And it may be sooner than you think.

[eloqtions]

flower hands

sugakookie; witches petals extra

 “i think you’re sorta part of the crew now.”

yoongi doesn’t feel disappointment all that much. things come and go, and he’s never felt a need to be overly let down by something but jungkook – jungkook:

he’s a different case.

with jungkook, there’s been countless snapped wires and broken filaments from a beginning that began without a start but over time it’s happened less and soon, dare he say, jungkook’s been a little too daring. sometimes, he’d fall into a distress when jungkook wouldn’t have to change lightbulbs at the prospect of things getting a little heated. jungkook would be less flustered and yoongi – sometimes – more than him. he had only been in a handful of relationships that filtered in and out loving and liking but this time, everything shifted into head-on, blind-eyed.

sometimes, hoseok would invite himself to his apartment and nose around for every sign left of jungkook. his shoes, perfume, shirt – anything he can sniff out and he shouldn’t feel the need to explain but it’s there. that small warmth that curls around in his stomach and all yoongi can see is a smile engrained in the folds of his brain. it’s awfully difficult hiding things from the others and it just happens so that one event leads to another and eventually, time has given space to cherry blossoms and spring blooms and The Day.

jungkook bustles around weeks before, hair in a perpetual state of askew yoongi would brush away. And sometimes, he would be neglected in favour of jungkook’s babies (which has yoongi in a state of offence) but all is well and good and if it could be possible, yoongi falls even deeper into a song of flowers and witches.

like this, magic manifests in jungkook even without cauldrons and potions.

the witch keeps him on his toes, all warm and inviting after days of sitting in front of pixeled screens and paper articles. he makes yoongi instant coffee from age-old sachets from the back of the storeroom and sings overplayed pop songs from the radio he hates.

(yoongi loves it actually and jungkook has a voice (and the face) pretty enough to be one of those idols he sees on tv.) (he sees jungkook getting the looks and notes the business cards stuffed in the front pocket of his apron.)

“can you pass me the small pruner from over there?” it’s one of yoongi’s free days and he finds himself at the shop a day before hoseok’s wedding. he nods even though jungkook can’t see and shuffles over to the rack with a plethora of gardening tools he’s never seen before. well he has, but he’s never put them to good use.

yoongi scratches at his nape dumbly. “uh…” there’s an unimpressed look boring into his back, he can feel it.

“it’s the one that looks like you can cut wires with,” jungkook throws over his shoulder, the words coming out in an incoherent jumble with stems pressed to his mouth.

yoongi rifles through the rack before holding out an apparatus he can’t recognise. jungkook frowns, eyebrows scrunched cutely.

“no.”

“no?”

“nope. not at all. completely wrong,” jungkook says, setting the tools aside and removing the stems. “i’ll go and get it so stay here and look hot or something,” he says, offhand and yoongi’s eyebrows shoot up. “you’re good at that.”

“i didn’t know you thought of my looks that highly,” yoongi answers wryly, sinking into the barstool and jungkook shoots him a dry, embarrassed look.

“shush.” he balks faintly and moves to the racks before picking up the pruner with ease. the male turns and waves it in his direction. “this is what it looks like, hyung. for, y’know, future reference.”

“mhm,” yoongi hums and swirls the mug in his hand.

“ah, i have a question –” jungkook starts and fiddles with the flowers uneasily, “have you told your friends… about us? maybe?”

yoongi startles before placing the mug on the counter. “they’ve probably figured it out already,” he shrugs and jungkook purses his lips. “by ‘they’ i mean jimin and hoseok.”

“should i… i don’t know –? introduce myself properly and all before – “

“it’s fine,” yoongi cuts in, “they unnecessarily blow things out of proportion so they can find out when they do. it’s about you and me, anyways.”

“i guess,” jungkook mutters and holds the marigolds close to his nose.

 .

.

.

 there’s flowers and ribbons and an ice sculpture in a room full of people and crystal champagne flutes; hoseok and jimin are in the middle of all of it. it’s a small affair, mostly their close friends and family but this extravagance is unprecedented with the whole hall decked out in colorful petals and decorations alike. yoongi stands to the side, collar too stiff against his neck while jungkook floats around – settling and checking with a pencil tucked behind his ear and an apron stuffed messily in his blazer pocket.

“this is nice.” namjoon sidles up next to him looking anything but, hands folded and jacket pressed so stiffly it looks wrong. yoongi snorts before taking a glass to hand to the younger. “why am i here again?”

“you look like you could find someone and this is a good place to start,” yoongi sips on his wine amused while his eyes follow his boyfriend’s movements. “you can figure out the rest yourself.”

namjoon sighs, tilting his head. “yeah i’m just gonna stand here and hope someone decides i’m worthy enough for a conversation i guess – “

“hyung?” there’s a tap on his shoulder and he turns to see jungkook a little red-faced and unsettled. “who’s this?”

“ah, is this your…” namjoon laughs. punk.

“shut up.”

“– i didn’t say anything.”

jungkook’s eyes flitter back and forth, confused.

“this is namjoon – he’s hoseok’s colleague that needs help in finding someone that’s not a book,” yoongi snakes an arm around jungkook’s waist, holding him a bit closer. “this is jungkook and he’s mine so you don’t try any moves on him.”

jungkook smacks yoongi on the shoulder lightly before holding out a business card from one of his many pockets. “i’m jeon jungkook and the florist for this wedding; you can ignore him,” jungkook’s flushed, the chandeliers fading weakly and that has yoongi chuckling. “– he’s being embarrassing.”

namjoon suppresses his laughter, eyes easy as he looks at the two of them and jungkook is so red, it’s amazing. “thanks, i’ll keep that in mind but i’ll just… go. you two can – “

“you don’t have to,” jungkook blurts, glaring at The Boyfriend. “i’m just going to check up on the last of the flowers.”

“ah, they look beautiful – i suppose you take good care of all of them?”

that makes jungkook’s smile widen. “i try. and i can also introduce you to taehyung-hyung if you don’t mind! he managed a lot of the ones near the entrance and i think you might like him- them.”

yoongi hums next to him. smooth.

“that might be – would that be okay?” namjoon asks and jungkook nods viciously.

“of course! i’m sure he’d like to meet people who appreciates them,” he looks over at yoongi, “right, hyung?”

“sure,” yoongi answers, not quite sure why jungkook asked. the younger grins and moves away waving elatedly as he’s listing off that he’ll be getting taehyung soon enough.

“he’s- you and him. you two are cute together,” namjoon looks more relaxed after the conversation, happier and yoongi supposes it’s the way jungkook can make people feel more comfortable. his presence is a peacemaker of sorts.

yoongi shrugs but he can feel himself begin to smile. “yeah, he’s cute.”

“you look more settled, happier than before,” namjoon says and eats the whole square of cream cheese and cucumber sandwich in one bite. “which is a good thing, might i add. it’s nice to see you like this even though we’re not that close as friends – i mean he looks like he could make you more relaxed and by the look of you right now,” he chuckles, “he’s doing a good job.”

“worry about yourself, joon,” yoongi snickers, well meaning.

soon, jungkook comes back with taehyung; this time without a pencil behind his ear and an apron that is no longer on. jungkook goes through a round of introductions and namjoon, in just a little while, looks completely smitten with taehyung. jungkook and yoongi then leave the two of them alone next to the ice sculpture, talking animatedly with shy smiles and flushed faces.

“yoongi-hyung!” jungkook startles, jerking up from his place on yoongi’s shoulder. yoongi shoots the perpetrator a pointed look as jungkook looks around frantically.

“what.”

“who’s this?” jimin asks softly with a smile so large he can feel jungkook start to shrink beside him.

“my boyfriend,” he says casually, picking up a drink to hand to the younger on a passing tray. “is there anything else you needed? hoseok’s over there waiting for you.”

“i’m jeon jungkook – and you’ve seen me before i think but i’m here formally as his boyfriend and your florist.” jungkook bows a little and jimin follows, slightly meeker than before. “i hope you like it since i haven’t gotten the chance to ask you two. yoongi-hyung picked it out but still i just wanted to ask either of you.”

jungkook produces two small bracelets from his pocket and yoongi peeks over for a look. “i made this for you two as service but i’m not exactly sure of your favorite flowers…”

“oh,” jimin says faintly, taking it gently in his hands. he runs his fingers across the soft petals and its sweet fragrance percolates on yoongi’s fingers when jimin hands it to him. they feel like gold in his hands, heavy in beauty and weight; he’s never doubted jungkook in his abilities to produce floral ornaments but he finds himself surprised each time. “it looks beautiful, along with everything else here. just- thank you so much for all of it.”

jungkook’s grip on yoongi’s arm tightens. “it’s no problem, that’s the most important part so i’m really glad that you do, jimin-ssi.”

“call me jimin-hyung, it’s perfectly fine,” jimin grins, “i think you’re sorta part of the crew now.”

“is he now?” yoongi cuts in, amused. jungkook laughs and adjusts yoongi’s boutonniere, his breath tickling the sides of his face.

“there’s so much to tell you jungkook-ie! you probably don’t know about these awful habits he has but i believe i’ve made my job to do just that, so if you ever want to meet up over coffee or something, ask yoongi for my number and text me. there were a couple of pictures from when he had this terrible hair – “

“i think that’s enough,” yoongi steers jungkook away, “your husbands over there looking lonely – “

“of course, that’d be so great,” jungkook nods, smiling teasingly in the direction of the elder. anything to hear about yoongi’s past sounds like a good idea (and he would like to see these pictures).

“should i be worried?” yoongi mutters in disbelief.

“i mean, it’s not all bad and hoseok’s gonna be there too so twice the stories – nothing to be worried about, hyung,” he gives jimin a look, “it’s not too bad. honestly.”

yoongi sighs before waving him away.

“– also the piano’s free for the next hour,” jimin suggests before walking off, but not before giving jungkook a small bow. “i mean, if you want to.”

“you play?”

yoongi shakes his head. “only a little, i’m rusty.”

“can i hear you play?” jungkook looks at him with eyes as wide as saucers. yoongi can feel something in him stutter and fuck –

“yeah. if you sing.”

jungkook pauses, purses his lips, furrows his eyebrows. “but i’m not even that good and i sing in the shower, not in public or anything. like, in front of people. this many people.”

“you sing in front of me, don’t you?”

“you don’t count.”

“i don’t?”

“no. you’re one person and you’re my boyfriend so obviously, i’m comfortable enough to sing in front of you – “

“you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” yoongi says gently, and brushes a piece of hair from jungkook’s forehead. “it’s okay.”

“i might just - if i know the lyrics i could…”

yoongi hums.

 .

.

.

 “i don’t think you know what rusty means,” jungkook says. the carpark’s cold and the younger’s wrapped up in a thick coat and scarf, still shivering from the biting morning wind. it’s two and the lobby is crowded with people trying to say their goodbye’s; the two of them escaped first.

“i was better before. i’m out of practice nowadays,” yoongi turns the engine on and twists the knob to the highest setting before shutting the door.

he reverses out onto the road, one hand on the steering wheel, the other linked loosely to the younger’s hand.

they drive with a radio turned quiet with late-night early-morning mixes of songs yoongi can barely recognise but jungkook hums along. he pulls up at jungkook’s apartment complex and neither can bring themselves to get out of the car.

“thanks for driving me home and everything,” jungkook breathes out, fidgeting with the seatbelt.

“anytime,” he turns the heat lower and he thinks about today, and jungkook, and all that he has to learn again from things he already knows. but it’s worth it, he sees all and a lot of things might be bad ideas so –

he leans over and kisses jungkook soft before saying:

“goodnight.”

(and yoongi decides to not tell jungkook about how his indicator flashed violently after he left the car)

[useless-crafting-lesbian]

the ash pants

sometimes ..... a gal needs a good in between project ... enter the ash pants

i’m going off of this pattern from mood but i’m going to edit it pretty intently. the goal is to have them done by the end of the day .. We Shall See .

11:44 am || i’ve finished up with therapy (haha :) we got nowhere but it’s all ggGgGGGg) fabric, zippers, and thread has been purchased. because of all the sales going on at joann’s i ended up getting fabric for another pair of pants too but for now i’m just going to focus on this one. 

yee yee bo let’s party

1:53 pm || wow a bitch lost a lot of time it’s been like four hours but i don’t know for sure because i’m refusing to do the math. i taped the whole pattern together .. can’t say it was an enjoyable process. normally the assembly of mood patterns is super nice n easy but this took forever and everything isn't lining up which is super promising but yolo i guess 

3:08 pm || good heavens this is taking a really long time. i have finished altering and cutting out the pattern pieces for the pants .. the original pattern intended for a fit look up to like the knees and then a flare but bitch i have crippling body image problems tight clothes on my t h i g h s is Not going to happen also i don’t like flared pants they remid me of fifth grade and no one wants that

the pieces are really really r e a l l y wide (especially the back ones) so i feel like i should do something about that but .. eh .... i’m going to eat my lemon tart (eep) and think about it

3:52 pm || eep time is really passing huh ............... well i ate my tart .... i’m feeling hashtag bad about my body !!!!! but what’s new buenos aires. i’ve settled on making half a pair of pants from my ikea muslin and reassessing which is what i’m about to start cutting/sewing now so ! stay tuned i guess

5:19 pm || good g o d five nineteen why is this taking so fucking loNg !!!!!!!! sdfghjgfdfg aNyways i finally have a pattern that will (hopefully ?) work so yeehaw i guess. i don’t have any pictures though because i’m depressed So yep :) i’m going to make a list of changes to the original pattern that have taken place thus far

changes to paper pattern

✰ the flares were turned straight leg by making a hypotenuse (?) connecting where the side seam first begins to curve in and the bottom hem

✰ the front and back were changed from two pieces each to one (like a ... normal .... pair of ... pants .......)

✰ the pattern was graded from a size six at the waist to a size twelve at the hips cause a bitch is most certainly Not proportional ;)

✰ the patch pocket was elongated so i can actually put things in it

✰ the waistband was turned from a front and back piece to one total piece that will be cut on the fold (but i’ll probably change it back)

✰ maybe other things i’m forgetting ? i think that’s it though

changes to muslin pattern

✰ two big ol darts were added to the front and back pieces. the darts will not be in the final i just needed the pants to be significantly smaller. i’m already kind of regretting not doing pleats but Oh Well I Guess

✰ i darted the waistband too just to make the slope more intense so it would fit me

✰ at some point i’ll have to alter the pocket to be narrower so it stays proportional but i’ll figure it out 

also i’m Pissed because mood just released a pattern that’s literally exactly what i need and it would have saved literal h o u r s of effort but whatever we all die eventually

i guess now i’ll make these damn pants pattern matching wooOOoOOOo i have no experience in that and am Definetly going to fuck something up

6:53 pm || someone please tell me why this glorified pair of pyjama pants is more time consuming then literally any gown i’ve ever made .... pattern matching is going Great thanks for asking

9:07 pm || okay things are actually kind of Going now .. once all the making the pattern and painstakingly matching everything up work is done everything goes really fast. i’ve sewed up the front and back rises, as well as cut out the pockets (matching the pattern Of Course), hem the lil hole thing where you put your hand in (?? the opening ?? is that what you meant ???) and pressed everything because only losers don’t press their seams. i still don’t have pictures because Not Enough Has Been Done and also they still look like dumb pyjamas ksksksjfj it’s cool though. so now i’m going to sew the pockets on and the side and inseams up !!!!!! if you really want Real directions of how to make these ... i recommend the mood website or just .. your pre-existing pant making knowledge .......

10:36 pm || i’m still not done with these fucking pants ...... i need to make the waistband (which i’ve been procrastinating on), sew up the other side seam and put in the zipper then hem it all it doesn’t sound like a lot but i have a feeling it will take me to one am at the rate i’ve been going

1:11 am || ha ha ha ha ahaa im at a place in my life where i’m Refusing to sleep until these pants are done mcfUCK WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG anyway a progress update i even have a whole two pictures ..!..... so i pussied out of making a waistband that was all one piece and ended with a front and back because i’m a coward. i did my best to line up the vertical stripes on the pants with the waistband not that you can tell from this picture why did i even take this it’s boring and stupid

but yeah that’s how the pants have been for hours now .. sewn at the rises and one (1) side seam. for the waistband i made a front and back, cut two of each, sewed at the top, pressed, pressed the bottom edge in by some amount no idea how much, pinned onto the pants and s e w e d mothefucker !!!!!!!!!! 

i ended up ripping my one sewn side seam open part way to jam my zipper in (which i did with the baste, pin zipper, topstitch, undo basting method) and then sewed up the other side seam !!! and yeah that’s it

now all that’s left is sewing the inseam and hemming and they will f i n a l l y be done dfghjklkjhgf

2:01 am || okay so they’re still not done and i know i promised i wouldn’t sleep until they were but i’m afraid i’ll do something impulsive to them if i keep going tonight so i’m going to call it here. all that’s left is sewing a hook and eye to the side and then figuring out what to do to the bottom hem. it’s quite a bit too long and cuffing it just looks . dumb .. so i need another solution. hence why i’m waiting till the morning. because i am Itching to just c h o p a big ol strip off the bottom

anyway we got pretty far and yeah it doesn’t feel like enough and y e ah i’m disappointed in myself for not going All The Way but we all die eventually so this doesn’t matter

3:56 pm || whats UP motherfuckers these pants are almost D O N E i just finished hemming them so party fuckin HARD .. in the light of the new day i did in fact end up chopping about four inches off the bottom hem because those cuffs looked BAD as FUCK all that’s left on these is to sew a hook and eye in aaaaaAAAaA im so CLOSE ..... originally the plan was to make a pair of pants that don’t need a belt so i can wear them in inpatient but they look so good with a belt aaa :( oh well ..... with the chunk i cut off the bottom i’m really considering making a lil bandeau thing because i hate myself We’ll See actually no we won’t i don’t need more work we’re calling it at the pants I Have Been Shut Down okay let me sew this hook and eye

4:31 pm || THEY’RE Ḋ̵̥̬̈́͒̓Ỡ̷̦̏̂N̶̨͖͙̹̺̘͎̭͉͔͓̳̲͚̔͆̈́̓̅̒̀̒̅E̶̡̧̬̲̙̼̙̜͈͍̒̍̐͂͂́̆͗̊̕͘ i’m gonna take a lil video of them for my instagram and also just to see if i can .. i’ll also post it here but in a seperate post and y e a h .. oh Also i made a lil headband out of one of the pant scraps o h ans a l s o did i mention that these HELL PANTS are D O N E ??????̸̢̝̟͙̹̣͕̰̥͉͎̱̥̾̆̒̾͂͜?̶̡̧̳̗̜͈̭̮̠͕̯̝͐̓̒̿̔̏̿͗̎̐͂͘͜͠?̵̪͓͚̭͙̙͎̏͗̈̔̽͆̅͑?̷̧̬̣̠̞̙̃̔̚͜ that is all thank you