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delicateperspective · 20 days ago

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The Observer (Observed)

Either someone is deep in the Lore or LT3 era has begun.

Edit: I guess I am going to turn this post into a masterpost of sorts. I go more into detail about what I think this might be here (hint: not Louis).

But for now just please play it safe:

Don’t give them personal information.

Don’t engage in DMs with them.

Keep a healthy skepticism.

TIMELINE:

Twitter user @FromTheObserver was created on March 9th 2025.

At the time it first tweeted, it's pfp was a lavender eye with the roman numberals for 369.

The bio was "Through the looking glass the observer watches, craving what is just beyond reach."

The cover image was the below (MORE ABOUT THIS ARTWORK AT THE END):

At 2:44 GMT PM its first tweet said:

"The silence is broken. At last I return. Did your faith in the future endure, or did it waiver in my absence? You have waited, perhaps doubted, but the silence was never empty. I am ever present, hidden just beyond the veil. -The Observer

At 4:55 PM The Observer tweeted again:

Have you forgotten me so soon? -The Observer

At 7:44 PM Louis' official account tweeeted:

India I had no idea what to expect but you turned up in full force. From Doncaster to Mumbai. Fucking mind blowing! Thank you!

People started digging. "The Observer" appeared in a list of songs someone found on the French Music Directory SACEM. They first tweeted this list on February 2nd 2025.

I was able to confirm the listing at this link.

It is important to note though, that this lists SONY MUSIC PUBLISHING FRANCE as a sub-publisher and Reservior, Big Life Songs, and Inconnu Editur as publishers.

If we compare this to an LT released song, SILVER TONGUES, that ALSO has Sony listed as the subpublisher. So that doesn't debunk this as a real possible upcoming song.

For those who were saying that since it's sony he wouldn't use it. It appears Sony still has some claws in him. But thats normal in the music industry. A SUB-PUBLISHER doesn't mean he has a Sony deal again. It just means that BMG might not have the reach he needs in France to distribute so they'd rather pay someone else to do it.

I'd also like to point out that I could not verify this or any of the other songs on any American or UK repository like BMI or ACE.

I feel really uncomfortable digging into potential songs of Louis' knowing how badly he doesn't like the tracklist leaked. So this will be my extent of my digging on THIS SUBJECT. (But please feel free to let me know if I got anything wrong or I am missing something)

On March 10th, 2025:

At 1:30 AM The Observer tweeted:

I told you… But did you listen? -The Observer

Louis followed Lolla India sometime before 10:19 AM (based on the HL Daily update)

LTHQ Posted a Tiktok of Louis' show at Eletric Brixton around 4:38 PM (based on the HL Daily update)

Louis posted a reel from his time in India at 7:25 PM

At 10:00 PM (20:00) The Observer posted:

Day 1, 20:00 It’s eerily quiet in the laboratory today. - The Observer

At the time of this tweet, their pfp was the same lavender eye. HOWEVER the 369 roman numerals were gone. Replaced by a 7 (Or maybe a 1?). (For information about Louis' connection to the number 7, see this masterpost by @so-idialed-9.

On March 11th, 2025:

Louis poasted a pictures and video for Soccer Aid at 9:13 AM

Louis followed Soccer Aid on Instagram at 10:53 AM

Louis liked a photo from Soccer Aid of his 28 jersey at 1:44 PM

At 10:00 PM (20:00) The Observer tweeted again:

Day 2, 20:00 Watching from the outside, I can only hope not to become one of them. Perhaps I already have… Is it too late for me? -The Observer

The pfp at this time replaced the 7 with a 2.

On March 12th, 2025:

At 3:12 PM The Obsever Tweeted:

Day 3, 15:12 How can I change what’s already been written? If the past is in permanent ink, can the future ever be a blank page? -The Observer

At this time the pfp updated to a red 3 at the bottom.

Around 4:00 PM CST Louis followed footballer Jermain Defoe on Insta.

Also on this day, a pretty TeRrIbLe article from The Standard dropped, essentially making fun of 28, Louis, and his fans.

We also get a "Rome Unseen" of Harry drinking coffee with a friend and yelling at stalkers trying to take his picture.

On March 13th, 2025:

At 3:12 PM The Observer tweeted:

Day 4, 15:15 Inhale. Exhale. Surrender to what’s beyond control. -The Observer

Pretty telling for a fandom that is crashing out over circumstances outside of anyones control.

The number in the pfp changes to a white 4 in the right hand corner.

Louis doesn't move on this day.

On March 14th, 2025:

At 6:20 AM The Observer tweeted:

The shadow consumes the light. A fleeting moment where past, present, and future collide. Do you see it? Observe. -The Observer

It is important to note that there was a Blood Moon Lunar eclipse that could be seen in London just before dawn. "Stargazers around the world caught the first sign of the lunar event, which began at 05:09 GMT, on a livestream run by LA's Griffith Observatory."

Note the nod to the Observatory, to shadow consuming light.

The pfp stays the white 4 during this tweet.

At 3:18 PM The Observer tweeted:

Day 5, 15:18 Across a million futures, one constant endures. -The Observer

Sound familiar? If you are a Larrie, it should. Mr. "souces say he has trouble with long term relationships" used a similar line in his "You Are Home" promo.

(personal opinion here. take with a grain of salt. this has confirmed for me that Louis has nothing to do with this account. This line was too loud when H tweeted it. It didn't fit any narrative. It wasn't even related to anything on the album. This and the "half way home" debacle were some of the craziest wtf is going on here moments in the You Are Home tweet saga. If this had anything to do with his work or career, Louis would stay far away from using lines this closely tied to Harry.)

The pfp updates to a white 5 (which really looks like an upside down 2)

At 6:00 PM LTHQ posted an IG reel from India.

On March 15th, 2025:

At 10:00 AM The Observer tweeted and immediately deleted:

"A true observer must always be watching. Blink, and you'll miss what matters most. 625 369 825 007 326 028 -The Observer"

369 and 28 are both intrinscly linked to Louis and can be found in the masterpost at the begining. 007 is typically a reference to James Bond which Harry is a favorite to perfom the next James Bond song or play him.

HOWEVER, 625, 825, and 326 could possibly be month/years. As in June 2025, August 2025, and March 2026.

Louis is playing in Soccer Aid on June 15th 2025. (THIS COMES INTO PLAY IN A FEW DAYS. Approximately 40% of the articles about Louis' new stunt involve his involvement in SoccerAid and how he will be on the team with his stunt's very recent ex.)

Should we be looking for August 2025 and March 2026 events as well?

At 9:45 PM The Observer tweeted:

"Day 6, Unkown Too quick to catch, too fleeting to frame in memory. But a true observer is always taking notes. -The Observer"

The pfp updated to a white 6 (at the three oclock position)

On March 16th, 2025:

We got two posts again this day.

At 9:30 AM The Observer tweeted:

Day 7, Unknown How did we end up here? -The Observer

The past two posts have stated that the time is "Unknown" instead of giving us UK time. Have we stopped tracking the time? Have we moved timezones?

The pfp updated to a white 7 at this time as in accordance with the dart board.

At 11:30 PM The Observer tweeted:

Silent? Silenced. Patience. Observe. -The Observer

The first part of this refers to an Oprah interview.

The implication is that someone has not CHOSEN to be silent. They've been made to be silent. However, if we - as the audience - are patient, we can observe what they cannot say.

The pfp updates now. There are no numbers. The pupil is smaller and we can see what appears to be eyelashes in the top right corner.

On March 17th, 2025:

We ge two posts again today. But it's what happens in between that makes it important.

At 8:25 PM The Observer tweets:

Day 8, 20:25 No key to turn, no doors to guide A journey taken, far and wide The walls unfamiliar, the roads unknown A wandering soul, yet not alone -The Observer

The pfp updates back to the original eye with a white 8. Which looks oddly like an infinity sign as the circles are elongated.

First thing to note is that were back on UK time. The second - your intepretation of this tweet will matter to how authentic you think this account is. For me - when I saw "no key to turn, no doors to open". I immediately thought of the tattoo Harry has on his ribs of a birdcage with no door. Next to his drama masks. Above the SMCL (smile more cry later?) tattoos. There isn't a keyhole nor a door to this closet. The "you are home" door is closed, it cannot be opened.

Yet the last line of the 28 word (if you include the signature) poem leaves us hopeful. Despite the distance, the walls, the unknown roads, there’s an undercurrent of connection

Then an hour and a half later at 10:00 PM on the dot The Sun gives us our very first confirmation article of Louis' new stunt. Which I will not speak about in depth on this post. If you want more info, my page is full of it, but I don't want to muddy this post with that.

At 11:55 PM we get another tweet from The Observer:

Fabricated fairytales, observed by all. -The Observer

The pfp does not change.

The "fabricated fairytales" is a line from Louis' She is Beauty, We Are World Class. (my intrepretation of that song is here if you're into that kind of thing.) This is in direct response to the stunt. It is not mincing words or leaving room for interpretation by the timing. It is saying "this is a fake romance and now the world is watching".

On March 18th, 2025:

At 8:35 PM The Observer tweets:

Day 9, 20:35 Nearly Halfway Home. A long journey, but well worth it. -The Observer

The pfp uppdates to a green 9 as per the dart board.

The tweet itself, needs lore to explain.

On April 1st 2022, Louis registered a song Halfway Home. This registration can still be confirmed here.

THEN on April 13th 2022 (two weeks later), the You Are Home account for Harry's House promo tweeted "half way home"

Home, as a concept, has always deeply tied to both Louis and Harry and both of them together. The lore goes deep, but a summary is here.

The capitalization of Halway and Home, directs us to the song name.

But if were intepreting, it's also telling us that there is a plan in place. And though its a long way out, we're nearly halfway there and it will be worth it in the end.

On March 19th, 2025:

At 2:28 PM The Observer tweets:

Day 10, 14:28 A fresh set of eyes, born from little white lies. -The Observer

The pfp changes to a white 10.

Little White Lies is a clear refrence to the One Direction song, Little White Lies.

Bare with my little larrie heart here (but since this account is obviously also a larrie I'd be suprised if you aren't too) but Louis is in the headlines more than hes been in a decade right now. The PR is PRing. There are a whole new set of eyes on him. All because he's selling the story of some "little white lies".

DARTBOARD THEORY AND UPDATES

At this point, to anyone who is paying attention, it's become clear that the numbers represent a dart board.

See the most recent overlay below:

There have been a lot of recent theories revolving around dart boards after Louis posted one while he was in New Orleans for the superbowl and then followed a darts player on Instagram.

As to keep this unbiased and not tied to further speculation, I won't comment on the connection around all of the other people in Louis' life that have posted pictures of dart boards recently (just know that his sisters, Pleasing, Lamby, Niall, and more have posted dart boards - usually with the dart in the triple 20 spot). HOWEVER, darts has always been popular in the UK and its growing in popularity with the younger crowd recently. It's entirely possible that Louis just loves a game of darts at the local, and his sisters' boyfriends do to, and he's watching competive darts lately (especially the first openly gay dart player who is super popular right now), and Pleasing thought somehow darts were Valentine's day imagery.

EXTRA STUFF & FINAL THOUGHTS

As mentioned by this Twitter user, the artwork is pretty well likely AI generated (plus a little Canva/Photoshop for the numbers). It has all the tell-tale signs of generative AI (wonkey lines, misproportions, etc).

Louis has entire teams of graphic designers plus Joshua Halling (who loves this skind of thing) in his back pocket. He wouldn't need AI for any of this.

At this point, The Observer is definitely an interesting mystery, but whether it’s something to pay attention to or just a fan-run account remains to be seen. The AI-generated images are a major red flag—it’s hard to imagine Louis or his team relying on AI when he has actual designers and photographers on hand. Even his more cryptic rollouts in the past have been visually polished and intentional.

That said, the timing of the tweets, the SACEM song listing, and the number symbolism do make it intriguing enough to keep an eye on. If this is a fan project, they’re clearly deep in the lore and know how to grab attention.

Key Takeaways:

Be cautious. If this is a fan messing around, engaging too seriously could be dangerous to your online safety.

Don’t assume it’s official.

It's probably not connected and Louis probably knows nothing about it. If it is somehow connected it will become obvious soon. If it's not (way more likely), it’ll probably fade out like other fandom mysteries before it.

For now? I’m just observing The Observer. 👀

#the observer #Louis Tomlinson #lt3?

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spoiled-ojousama · 4 months ago

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betcha someone's thought abt it before, but the plothole of 'why didn't anakin just leave the order and marry padme publically' isn't a plothole because anakin never sought some peaceful married life as a househusband, he wanted power

take a boy who has never known security ever, never known agency, never lived a day without the fear his loved ones would be stolen from him, tell him you'll free him from slavery, but he needs to leave his mom and friends behind and he's only being taken to fill the role of 'chosen one' and because he's already pretty old, the ppl who saved him already doubt even bringing him along, and like, ultimately anakin feels within his gut he's being enslaved again, even as reality reveals itself he'd take god knows how long to break that instinct, and then onwards, he's taught the ways of physical violence, he excels at piloting starfighters, commanding armies, and swinging a blade, he's for once in his life given agency, given power, he gets to decide what happens to others, even if only within his own cosmos, why would he ever give up that brutal certainty for the uncertainty of domesticity and having to let others carry the universe, beyond merely a sense of task-duty deep within his skull, he's powerful, he can do whatever he wants, he can protect those close to him, even when his mother died when he was a padawan, he now has more ability than ever to guard his soldiers, his trainees, his other friends, but it's still not enough in war

and I mean, why would therapy help anakin either, he doesn't even know something's wrong with him and any suggestion from the jedi that something about him was wrong would be instinctively taken as a threat to his security, even if he was dragged to therapy, he wouldn't want to heal, he wouldn't even want to acknowledge that need, he wouldn't even know he had that need because he's never lived a life that was ever secure enough to teach him otherwise

from anakin's point of view, the jedi are evil, but ultimately while they did prolong his slave mentality, what could they have done.

think about it, why would you only ever train kids, luke's trainable, he was just hard, you only train kids because you need to make more and more jedi, more jedi to keep the peace, more jedi to fight sith, whatever the reason, you need the teachers to be younger, and you need them to train the easier students, and if you fight an ancient and nonstop battle with the sith, eventually the philosophy is discarded, mass production is all that is important, utilitarianism turns into dogma

no attachments, no older kids, a structure that has allowed the jedi order to churn out thousands upon thousands of agents for reasons that are unambiguously good (the protection of the weak), why would they change, especially as they become the only interstellar peacekeepers, especially as another war, a war of mass production and attrition breaks out, the jedi fell into utilitarian dogma, and anakin fell because of it, only needing a few nudges from palpatine to shove him over the edge

but ultimately anakin is irrelevant, whether he fell or not wouldn't truly effect palpatine's victory, anakin was made as a person of immense force potential so plageius and sidious could have a superpowered slave

palpatine and plagieus could have ruled the galaxy side by side in due time, but the drive to dominate, to possess ever powerful weapons led to anakin's birth, fall, and eventual redemption, wherein he, in one of his last moments, feeling nothing but rage, nothing but slave-mentality, bereft of loved ones to protect, finally had someone he could care about, someone who was family to him, some final reamnant of padme

of course he killed palpatine, he had all the power, he understood how much the sith path was a pathetic lie that earned him nothing but pain, all he needed was someone to protect

andyways, silly analysis poast

#camille rambles #star wars #anakin skywalker

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wanderingchronicle · 6 days ago

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this one isn't good or plot-relevant enough to qualify for a B-side but there are cloud boy and/or chamomile sickos on this website so I am poasting for the delectation of @bee-dazzle @river-oceanus @namidragons @penguin--person @wilting-fl0wer @vertumnanaturalis. here's Cirrus being awkward, Expeditions boy scrungling hours, some light toilet humour.

Cirrus banks, circling around to touch down in the clearing, kicking up dust as he lands. It’s a nice day, or at least he thinks so – cool and crisp and sunny, everything dusted with spark-snow.

He has a pack full of weird little instruments, and he’s meant to be gathering data under the auspices of two more senior surveyors. He can see Verbena, tying up his lilac dreadlocks, but the other surveyor is– Oh. It’s Chamomile.

He’s in his mid-forties, maybe – well. Not maybe, Cirrus knows Chamomile is almost exactly thirty years older than him, so he’s forty-five, nearly forty-six. He makes maps, overseeing the gathering of survey information and then doing mysterious, arcane things to it that result in maps.

Additionally, Chamomile is his biological father. He knows this, because when Stratus asked Mom if they had another parent, Anne had smiled gently and said my friend Miles knew I wanted children, so he agreed to help me even though he didn’t want to be a parent himself, because he knew how badly I wanted you. And that’s kind of a sweet story, but it’s a little different when you’re face to face with a whole adult who contributed half your genes but who you don’t really know.

Chamomile is tall and rangy, with a short beard and a mane of auburn shoulder-length curls that Cirrus deeply envies, pulled back into a half-up with a clip. His arms are bare despite the chill of Early Quiet, exposing a tattoo of an hourglass-shaped terrarium in the process of being breached by the plants growing inside, and a band of the same floral motif he’s seen on his mother’s leg wound around the opposite forearm.

Cirrus has never really spoken to Chamomile except in passing, outside of a message once a year on his birthday that he never quite knows how to respond to. He’ll get another one in ten days, and he’ll tap out an awkward response, and then that’ll be it for another year. Sometimes Chamomile catches Cirrus looking at him, but he always looks away before he can see what the reaction is.

It’s stupid. There are plenty of kids who have donor parents, or who were creche-raised. It’s just gametes, you don’t have to have a relationship with someone just because you’re related. They can be just another adult.

But Cirrus is so curious. He has a lot of questions, like how did you and Mom become friends and why did you decide to help her have like one billion kids and so cartography huh what do you do for fun. When he looks at Chamomile, he sees strange fragments of his brothers and sister – the gap between Anemone’s teeth, Nimbus’s straight dark brows, the rangy build he sees echoed at a smaller scale in his identical brothers and in the mirror.

His job today is to collect information about topography, under supervision. He doesn’t really need the supervision, but he’s fifteen and the instruments they use to take snapshots of the landscape are fragile, so they only get taken out with a senior surveyor.

“Watch your step,” Verbena calls out, “the ground’s not super stable.”

“I don’t recommend falling off a cliff,” Chamomile replies, “it’s a miracle my knees still work properly.”

Verbena laughs, a grid briefly appearing on the ground underneath him followed by a beep. “You should consider not falling off a cliff, old man.”

“You should consider jumping off one, squirt,” Chamomile replies, with a flicker of a smile. Cirrus keeps his head down. A grid flashes underfoot. Beep. Another flash. Beep.

Chamomile and Verbena leave him to it, and they don’t talk any further. Cirrus watches the grid distort over uneven ground, including the edge dropping down a steep cliff. Beep.

“Hydration break,” Verbena says after a while, “Rus, do you want something to eat?”

“I’ve got like…soysweets in my bag,” Cirrus replies, a little uncertainly. He’d made the soysweets himself the previous day, and he can’t tell if Verbena is offering to share food or not. He likes Verbena – Verbena is about seven years older than him, but always treats him like he’s smart enough to make his own calls. Also, Cirrus likes looking at cute older boys, sue him.

“I have trail mix,” Verbena grins, displaying a row of needle-sharp teeth, “and Miles has mushroom jerky and these like…cheesy things, and a thermos of blep. Do you want to pool snacks?”

Cirrus considers the likely consequences of eating a whole packet of soysweets (a terrible sugar crash later) and nods, sitting. “They’re salty caramel ones,” he says, “at least in theory, this batch didn’t turn out very salty but they're still good. I’ll add more salt next time, I just didn’t want to overdo it.”

Chamomile’s head turns abruptly, giving Cirrus an appraising look. “You make soysweets?” he asks, one eyebrow lifting.

“Uh, yeah,” Cirrus curses how easily and visibly he blushes, digging out his packet of squashed soysweets, “I’m not as good a cook as Milly, but I’m pretty good at sweets. I can bake, too, just…not so often.”

“Shoot,” Verbena says, impressed, “hidden talents! Why are you out here getting all dusty instead of making treats, then?”

Cirrus mulls this over for a moment. “I like being outside,” he shrugs, “and collecting the data is fun. I’d go crazy cooped up in the Quarters all the time.”

Chamomile smiles, pulling out a sectioned container containing mushroom jerky and what turn out to be weird savoury cookies, while Verbena produces a bag of trail mix, and the three men sit down for one of the weirder meals Cirrus has participated in.

“The soysweets are good,” Chamomile says after a pause, “thank you for sharing.”

“No trouble,” Cirrus replies, through a mouthful of jerky, “the merits of an all-soysweet diet are…well, there aren’t any.”

Chamomile’s violet eyes crinkle at the corners. It’s a new expression on him. “Is this personal experience?”

Cirrus snorts. “Personal experience with Cumulus destroying the bathroom, more like.”

“Oh no,” Chamomile sighs, while next to him Verbena flops on his back on the ground and howls, “he didn’t. He seems like such a sensible kid…”

“The wisdom of experience,” Cirrus says sagely, and a wry grin flashes briefly across Chamomile’s face. Verbena convulses in a fresh wave of mirth, gasping for air. Cirrus finds himself matching Chamomile’s grin with a less certain one of his own.

The afternoon is uneventful. They’re taking a bunch of snapshots of some cliffs in the Prosaic Plains that will later be reconstructed into a more detailed topographical map. Cirrus takes a break to reapply sunscreen – you only need to burn your ears once before you get very diligent indeed – and realises that while he’s been distracted, Chamomile has wandered up to him, drinking tea out of a flask.

“Good work today,” Chamomile says, without preamble, “we’ll be heading home soon. How are you holding up?”

Cirrus finishes rubbing sunscreen into the back of his neck. He doesn’t know how to deal with this, at all, and he has to say something or he’ll explode. “You don’t have to make a fuss of me because I’m your kid,” he says eventually, “it’s not…you don’t need to.”

Silence. Cirrus looks at the ground. “That would be overstepping,” Chamomile replies, sounding if anything a little amused, “I’m checking in as the supervising Surveyor on this expedition, not because we’re related.”

A humiliated flush rises up from the collar of Cirrus’s shirt to colonise his whole face. “Ah,” he says, a little strangled, still looking at the ground, “I’m. I’m fine. That was…really presumptuous of me.”

“You are,” Chamomile adds, “perfectly welcome to speak to me outside of work. But I am never going to presume a relationship you don’t want to have with me.”

Cirrus takes a long moment to digest this idea. “Okay,” he says, “cool. Glad we sorted that out.”

He ventures a glance up at Chamomile, who is regarding him curiously. “I do have questions,” Cirrus blurts out, “but like, not now?”

Chamomile’s mouth tugs up at the corners. “I will answer them to the best of my ability,” he replies, and his tone is very solemn, but there’s a glitter in his eyes Cirrus realises is humour. Then he leaves, wandering off to wave down Verbena.

Later, Cirrus touches down outside the colony and signs his glider back in. It’s still early, which is the payoff for getting up at the ass-crack of dawn, and he’s contemplating a nap when he realises someone has fallen into step next to him.

“Chamomile,” he acknowledges, “hi.”

“That’s Miles to you,” Miles says, “any of those questions done cooking?”

Cirrus reaches for the absolute pile of questions he has and comes up with all the most inane shit possible, like so what made you want to fuck about with little instruments all day and what do you do for fun and what music do you like. “Honestly all I can come up with right now,” he wrinkles his nose, “is that I’m mad I didn’t get straight or curly hair. Just, frizz.”

“That’s not a question,” Miles replies, a little ruefully, “but you should consider talking to Anemone. I think Kom taught her how to look after her hair.”

A knife permanently embedded in Cirrus’ heart twists at the thought of his elder sister. “Anemone is basically a Helio now,” he says, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice (she agrees with the ones that bully you she thinks less of you) “she doesn’t…talk to us.”

Miles is silent. Cirrus sneaks a glance at him out of the corner of his eye and sees him scratching his chin, gaze distant.

“Your hair is likely also curly or wavy,” Miles offers, after a long pause, “I would suggest washing it less often and using your fingers to detangle rather than brushing, and you may see an improvement over time. Worth a try.”

Cirrus frowns. He needs to wash his hair daily, or it turns into an oil slick at the roots and a frizzy mess everywhere else. “Huh. I mean, okay. I’ll try that? I’m gonna go take a nap now, I’m going to watch a movie with friends at Rex’s bar later.”

“I won’t keep you,” Miles says amiably, “enjoy your movie.”

With a nod and a wave, Cirrus peels off towards the Living Quarters, chewing his lower lip. He had a conversation with Miles. It was pretty normal. It was kind of nice. Miles is nice. His mother is nice, but it’s the kind of nice where he’s always going to be her baby. He’s fifteen. He’s not anyone’s baby these days, not when at his age his sister was already a soldier risking her life for the colony.

-I am never going to presume a relationship you don’t want to have with me-

It hadn’t occurred to him, that he might get to choose. It’s a nice feeling. Biology isn’t destiny or a guarantee, he can choose. And the minute he thinks it, it feels stupidly obvious. His brothers are his identical triplets, but they’ve chosen to be very different people and also turned around to choose to be best friends, to choose Nimbus above and beyond the circumstances of their birth.

Anemone has chosen the Heliopause, and her soldier boyfriend, and he’ll resent it but he’ll have to live with it. Miles has chosen to say this is your decision, and Cirrus likes him more for it.

#news from new zariland #i was a teenage exocolonist #children's work tag #cirrus characterisation! he's fifteen and a dunkass!#this one's not goin on ao3. bonus content for the sickos on tunglr.govt.

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lakesbian · 1 year ago

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and now for our Checking In With The Dallon Sisters poasting

Panacea shook her head, “Tattletale found a way around my sister’s invincibility. Glory Girl was bitten pretty badly, which is why I didn’t come sooner. I think it hits you harder, psychologically, when you’re pretty much invincible but you get hurt anyways. But we’re okay now. She’s healed but sulking. I- I’m alright. Bump on my head, but I’m okay.”

victoria is demonstrably having a bad time with the previously noted psychological pain of being forcibly reminded that, no matter how hard she tries, she will never be the spotless, invincible, perfect hero she wants to be. the bug bites suck obviously but the "sulking" After being healed is an indicator of where it really hurt--not just physically.

(amy's power reminds me of. do you guys know that one tumblr post about the concept of exploring the horror potential inherent to D&D-esque fantasy healers? like, the horror inherent to being perfectly, magically healed from horrifying injury a hundred times over, and being expected to just get up and keep fighting afterwards, without any regards to how your mental health is doing. that's exactly how amy's power functions: you're made physically better than ever, and expected to get back up and keep being a hero, but you still have the memory of the pain and the lingering psychological aftereffects. but, like, you're fine now, so you just need to get over it and go back to throwing yourself in the line of fire, okay?)

amy is also right off the bat clearly not doing so hot--she's acting very shy and withdrawn and unsure compared to both of her prior appearances. obviously that is due to the horror of some random villain going "btw, remember that you're ontologically an invader into the family you are trying to belong in!" but i think it's probably compounded by the fact that amy is so used to being treated either 1. like she's intrinsically awful/unwanted or 2. like she's only valuable/desirable as a resource by Everyone But Victoria that walking into a room of heroes w/o victoria by her side is always liable to make her insecure and withdrawn.

oh, and the burnout. obviously the severe fucking burnout.

“No, I hated that he would have a normal life, because I’d given up mine. I was scared that I might intentionally make a mistake. That I might let myself fuck up the procedure with this kid. I could have killed him or ruined his life, but it would have eased the pressure. Lowered expectations, you know? Maybe it would have even lowered my own expectations for myself. I… I was just so tired. So exhausted. I actually considered, for the briefest moment, abandoning a child to suffer or die.” “That sounds like more than just exhaustion,” Gallant replied, quietly. “Is this how it starts? Is this the point I start becoming like my father, whoever he was?”

the "every second i rest, someone dies" conundrum would be nightmarish for her even if she had the healthiest social support net on the planet, but her circumstances make it infinitely worse. she's treated by everyone in her "family" but victoria like an invader, and even victoria has unintentionally stressed the importance of using her healing power in the way that the family wants (i.e. to cover up victoria's police brutality) in order to Be A Good Family Member. amy has internalized that being a good dallon is the same as being a good hero, and failing at being a dallon is the same as being overcome by her ontologically criminal roots. so she works herself to the bone, and when she inevitably starts to falter, she views it as an indicator of something intrinsically wrong with her rather than as a sign that her family + society's expectations for her are harmful and unfair.

and dean's advice for her only reinforces this further:

Gallant let out a slow breath, “I could say no, that you’re never going to be like your father. But I’d be lying. Any of us, all of us, we run the risk of finding our own way down that path. I can see the strain you’re experiencing, the stress. I’ve seen people snap because of less. So yeah. It’s possible.”

he suggests that she try to take a break, but only in the service of "so you can heal more people in the long run." he validates the idea that she could go "down that path," as if becoming a villain--becoming A Bad Person--is a risk all heroes have to fight against on an individual level, as opposed to criminality being a result of circumstance and not even inherently immoral. and of course dean thinks that way--he's a millionaire child soldier, his entire life is predicated on individualist thought with ignorance to the ways in which systematic factors impact people. acknowledging that amy is being horrifically mistreated would mean not only acknowledging the flaws in the PRT system, but acknowledging what might lead people to stray from it, and he simply can't do that. it goes counter to every idea that his life is built on.

he never even tells anyone that amy thought about letting a child die, or if he did, it didn't go anywhere. she was desperate for help all along, increasingly ready to explode, and everyone just ignored it. because as she says:

"My sister’s all I’ve got. The only person with no expectations, who knows me as a person. Carol never really wanted me. Mark is clinically depressed, so as nice as he is, he’s too focused on himself to really be a dad. My aunt and uncle are sweet, but they’ve got their own problems. So it’s just me and Victoria. Has been almost from the beginning."

this is also where we see another more blatant sign of her crush on victoria--it's very ambiguous as to whether dean is interpreting amy's feelings towards him as meaning "wants to date me" or "jealous of me for dating victoria" but i think it's probably the former because there's no way he would keep his mouth shut if it was the latter, lmao. really what this scene is doing is introducing all of the stressors amy is experiencing that, because they're going unaddressed, because everyone else is refusing to address them and she has internalized that's how it should be, are going to boil over horrifically later on. that burnout and fear of accidentally-on-purpose making a mistake will lead to truly being unable to heal victoria later on. that sense of obligation, that if she can't keep healing she's turning into her father, will contribute to her being unable to just walk away from victoria instead of trying to heal her. her crush on victoria--the ultimate example of how her should-be family has ostracized her--will boil over in the impulsive brain alteration & the sexual nature of the wretch's design.

and all of this would've been avoidable if not for, as mentioned in the prior post abt this interlude, the dallons' and the PRT's enforcement of wallpapering over the kid heroes' pain to Keep Up The Show.

#wormtime 2 #wormtime 2 arc 3 #wormblr #parahumans

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