#someone draw this pls/nf
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So I noticed my hair had a cool looking curl in it so I took a pic of to see what the rest of my hair looked like and uhm guys-
Hear me out on wally with this hairstyle(?) It's not rlly a style my hair just decided to be a Lil goofy lol
Ignore my eyes being seen- 😥
#wally darling#womp womp#welcome home#dice rants#?#yes#uhmmmm#someone draw this pls/nf#i would but im not good at hair and im in the middle of a midlife artstyle crisis
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drew keigetsu without using a base !!
#➜☁︎❝𝐤𝐧𝐲❞ꜝꜝ#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#demon slayer#kny oc#kny oc art#keigetsu hayashi#hayashi keigetsu#feel free to draw keigetsu#pls draw her#/nf#BUT#it would be pretty epic if someone drew her#:)#star hashira#star pillar#my art
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I am actually going insane over soulmate tickles gisicjos thinking so hard about this actually I want to draw it so bad
-🪐
GO FOR IT GO FOR IT OMG AND PLS PLS SHARE IF YOU MAKE ANY OHHH MY GOSH /nf
I loveeee talking abt soulmate tickles so much goodness gracious.
Etho and Joel are my favorite to hyperfixate on for soulmate tickles, like both of them are just so pure and giggly like you can’t tell me they wouldn’t be the target attack of the other soulmates.
Grian and Scar would too they are another like team that would end up being targeted for tickles.
Both of them as well would dish it out but not be able to take it yknow, like Joel would tickle Grian and Scar would take that personally and tickle Etho and it would just wind up in this giant tickle fight where they are all just laughing on the ground together like lunatics.
Grian and Scar trying to figure out where Etho is hiding since he’s sneaking around when they see Joel and go after a tickle attack on him and all the sudden they hear a yelp from around the corner and someone falling over.
I would see another situation of Grian and Scar trying to find if Etho is ticklish and where he is ticklish since the man is so private and secretive and so they bribe Joel into letting them tickle spots on him to figure out where Etho is ticklish heheh.
So they like take Joel and run off with him while Etho is like outside a locked door or sumn going on “lemme in what are you doing to Joel??” And all the sudden Etho feels like a tingling sensation all around his tummy and Grian and Scar hear him like hit the door and slide down it before he starts giggling and going “wahahahait nohohoh.”
Joel sitting there between Grian and Scar, both like being ticklish himself but also wanting to find out where Etho is ticklish so like pointing to spots on himself and going “try here.” And then hearing a screech on the other side of the door.
They eventually open the door since Etho is no longer in a position to fight back with them so he just lays on the floor while they softly tickle Joel on his sides, say Joel isn’t even that ticklish on his sides but Etho really really is, so while Joel is just like “haha that tickles.” Etho is like hugging himself and clawing at the floor since it tickles so bad.
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lol oops I meant to respond to this with sumn small and went off on a tangent, I’m sure you guys like it when I go off on rants abt tickles tho since you get a bunch of new tickle content so, your welcome. 😌
#tickles#tickle talk#ghostleetickles#ghostleebeingagremlin#tickle#lee#ler#tummy tickles#lee!etho#lee!ethoslab#lee!joel#lee!smallishbeans#ler!scar#ler!goodtimeswithscar#ler!grian#life series tickle#double life tickles
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HELLO! ★ Intro / bmf post..
I’m Dean! I’m 5teen, gay + trans ; he / him prns ‼️ uhj idk if I have to mention this but people usually do so I guess I will but I am single. so I don’t really have any friends, I have a few but we don’t talk a lot, and I’m home schooled as well, so I have no one to talk to basically, but yeahhh, so this is a short intro thingy , but anyway I’m a huge supernatural fan. So my DNI is kinda big btw, but here, ⭣
DNI LIST. :
Wincest shippers. I’m so serious, I hate you all. Toxic destiel shippers (I do ship destiel! But you toxic people suck.) toxic spn fans in general, proshippers, people who are rude or just dicks. People under 13. Lucifer fans. Lucifer x Sam shippers, people who crush on jack kline, (he’s like 3 years old. Just say you find the actor attractive.) racists, homophobes, transphobes, terfs, Zionist’s, xenophobes, lolis, just weirdos in general, oh and misogynist. Like you Jo haters, she is exactly like dean, literally. South Park fans, hazbin hotel, and helluva boss.
OKAY MORE ABT ME and stuff we can do if you do wanna bmf !!
We can match spn pfps, we can watch spn on call !! uhj I can make gifts for you (I draw and edit,,) I TALK IN ALL CAPS CONSTANTLY!! uhj I ship destiel, crobby kinda, Sam and Eileen as well!! But I do not ship Gabriel x Sam, I doubt Sam would date someone who killed his brother a hundred times in front of him,, but that’s just my opinion though!! uhj I use tone tags a lot tbh, but I won’t as much if you don’t want me to, oh yeah I only want to be friends with people mainly in the spn fandom, that’s just what I’m most comfortable with !! I’m not very good at using tumblr (obviously..) BUT YEAH!!
uhj pls bmf / NF !! (If you don’t want to then don’t !! This isn’t forced at all, it’s your choice.)
but if you do please give me your Discord since I’m not on tumblr a lot !!
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INTRODUCTION POST*.✧
HELLO THERE EVERYONE!! ^_^
I'm Cosmicx, but I also go by Cos or Kyu! Any name you call me is fine.
Though I am cis, I use any pronouns. My sexuality is unlabeled, but I am also polyam.
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★ I am a minor, and I'm just trying to have fun drawing and posting here. I like interacting with fans and friends, but do please remember that I am not only a person on the internet, but a person irl. So do know that I have boundaries and am capable of human feelings and emotions.
★ I have an art style crisis a lot and will constantly change my art style, so please bare with me.
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» I pretty much post and make sans au content, even sans OCs. I myself am a sanscest shipper and a multishipper, so if youre not a big fan of that, you don't have to interact with me!
» I REALLY love Errorink. They are my faves and I love them so much :(
» I love ships like Errorink, Destructivedeath(reaper x geno), Sci x Fell, Dream x Swap, Kustard, Dudebruh/Crepic, Swap x Outer(pls hear me out on them), Crossmare, Kross, etc!
» I have a huge liking for Swap and Nightmare.
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« I will say that I *am* autistic, and do need tone tags because sometimes I can't tell someone's tone in text. Tone tags are things such as /j(joking), /hj(half joking), /nf (not forcing), /p(platonic), etc! It'd really help if you could use them.
« There will be times when I take jokes too seriously, overreact, am being sensitive, send paragraphs if I'm being a nerd, etc., so forgive me if it annoys you 💔
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× Not only will I post art/shit post art and doodles here, but I'll probably have rambles and rants about random things. They could be ships, headcanons, scenarios, even normal or odd things. I like to talk and let what I think. Like earlier, I am a HUGE nerd.
× Also if anybody has read Neverworld Wake by Marisha Pessl PLEASE TALK TO ME I'M BEGGING. I need to nerd out about it with people.
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DNI
Basic DNI List
• Racists, homophobes, transphobes, any of that sort
• OC x Canon haters along with Sona x Canon haters (what's wrong with people having fun..)
• Proshippers, darkshippers, whatever label they go by. I don't want any of those interacting with me whatsoever. Proship/darkship neutral. I don't want them interacting with me either. I don't tolerate nor do I like it or the people who are these. I do not wish to start drama, do not interact with me whatsoever.
• Like the above, people who support/like incest, non-con, dubcon, lolicon, etc. Shit's gross.
• Dreammare shippers(it doesn't matter which au or anything. I don't wanna hear it.), fontcest shippers
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° I like to roleplay. A lot. It's fun.
° I will admit, I am cringe...! But as long as I'm having fun.
° To anyone interested in my OCs and are curious about shipping them with your OC or sona, I do not mind it at all in any way unless it is deemed problematic to me. Have fun with them man, ship my sans with yours or your ocs, ship yourself with my sanses, I don't care!! I do the same anyways
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That pretty much concludes this! I'll add anything else if I need to... If you wanna know more about me, just ask and I'll answer(though if it's a little too personal I'm not answering LOL). Hope we can be friends if anyone wants to be!
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just had a thought- spot playing twister?? like he could literally just spawn a portal and push his hands through to cheat. he would be unstoppable (someone draw this and tag me pls /nf)
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I'M BORED SOMEONE GIVE ME IDEAS 2 DRAW PLS, BLINKS CUTELY /NF
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yaaaay
sOMEONE DRAW MY STUPID PURPLE TURTLE PLS /nf /lh
so what if someone you knew wanted to join your rise donnie sona friend group thing
but they were too nervous to ask without anon so they made an entirely new anonymous account for it
lol you never need an invitation to draw your sona with mine, as long as you credit me (and anyone else's sona you use)!!
it's not an exclusive club either, and it's not something we've started or invented, just some fun drawings and antics of our sonas lol
(if you do do art, please please please tag me, i'd love to see it!!)
tagging @3w3 @autisticenbydonnie and @beannary in case they'd like to weigh in as well
(ps, have a doodle for being brave lol)
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someone draw team ranchers running into each others arms while screaming “MY RANCHER” right now /nf but pls
#solidaritek#team ranchers#ranchers duo#tangotek#solidaritygaming#empiressmp#empires smp#hermitcraft
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NO BUT GIVE THE DSMPSONA???? PLEASE /NF -🍎🧃🍎
EHEHEHEHE OKOK HI. HI HELLO. HII. anyone reading this who also has dsmpsonas pls talk to us we are dragging our partner and friends down with us we want to swap blorbo stories. ANYWAYS. our blorbo.
his name is in fact jared. this is thanks to @ahaclownnoises. we sent a drawing of jared in a server we share w tommy, and joked abt how we had spent days calling him skrunkly because we couldnt think of a name. (this is in fact entirely true. we could not think of a name, therefore he was skrunkly.) tommy suggested jared and actually we decided no i like that. it fits him. and also we are a collective simpbur kin and Some of that kinda rubbed off on jared and we thought it was silly. anyways let me actually show you what the man looks like--
heres a doodle of him we did a few nights ago. hes a creeper hybrid!!! he lives in las nevadas, hes probably ~21/22!!! he used to be a citizen of lmanberg but after it got Fucked he kinda. idk probably disappeared for a while and ended up back and living in a trailer in las nevadas because fuck it yk.
he's a magic conman in that he is into magicky witchy shit, and you can pay him to do these things for you, but, uh. he is also very likely to scam you, twist the wording, or just entirely not even do what you've asked of him. (he also probably sells weed, but shhh.)
he also has an absolute shitbox of a pickup truck and really shouldn't have a license at all with how he drives. (< him and the guy he obsesses over have in fact lost non-canon lives bc of how jared drives. it's fine don't worry about it they respawned.)
he also has a sibling!!! they belong to @flowerhubbys, they are younger than him (and taller - jared is around ~6'11, 7'0, while aoife's character is around 7'2) and they are one of eret's knights <3 (they have "lovely" family discussions about this for a while because jared, for a while, does not like eret at all due to, uh. l'manberg and everything.)
..oh, and related to this fact, did i mention that he also starts dating eret's sibling eventually? (their name is alastair, yes this was intentional, and they belong to @aphotic-society because we have a Deep Autism Need, whenever we make characters in a universe with our partner, for these characters to kiss.)
jared has so many bad habits and is arguably very much not the greatest person in the world, we are aware of this /silly. he is also, uh, a Little obsessive when it comes to being in love with someone!! (which is why i joked abt our ""simpbur kinnie"" rubbing off on him. aka "we hate the idea of ever actually being like that to That Extent now, HOWEVER we also have a fascination with the trope in media so we are being silly goofy exploring".) (also we cleared jared being liek that w mirk first since its' character is the focus of that. idk if that's relevant to anyone but yeah. consent matters in rps / silly fan things too guys /hj)
jared also dresses like a redneck that lives in a trailer park, which is fitting because excluding that he's not actually from the south, that's basically what he is. we love him so much he is so greasy and stinky please ask us about him we want to infodump SO bad.
#ghostieren.txt#ghostieren.ask#jared.bloglore#applejuice tag#dsmpsona#also to the people tagged you don't need to reply or anything if you don't want to its just for context and stuff-#-lmk if you wanna be untagged
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— since I’m still a new smaller account I thought posting a ‘meet the owner’ would be fun !! * my name is callie (but a few close friends call me cal and it kinda stuck) I’m 15 and in the 10th grade. Im in a Cambridge school (kinda like AP but higher and it looks better on paper. So yes my classes are a little weird and are a few grade levels ahead) My favorite subject is history and my least favorite is math 😂 * I play soccer and enjoy photography, painting, drawing, and organizing. I watch YouTube 25/8, I mainly watch tanner fox, some photography/cinematography channels, and makeup videos (even tho I’m trash at makeup) * I love the marvel cenimatic universe (spider man is my fav bc Tom Holland or captain America tbh) 🤷♀️) and The Harry Potter books/movies. I love horror movies (but haven’t seen many bc my mom) My favorite music artist atm is NF or Shawn Mendes. I loveeee musicals and my favorite musical is probably Hamilton or finding neverland (might get to see Hamilton in January of 2019) —sry this was short but if anyone has any questions I will gladly answer them (someone ask a question pls😂)
#school#studygram#study motivation#studyspo#studyblr#info#idk#meet the owner#small studyblr#calsdesk
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asks bby 😚 i love u
@alwaysdrowninginfeels said:100 questions is fun
hopefully 100 questions is fun to read, love u guuyysss
Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? soundcloud or spotify if i actually used any of these
is your room messy or clean? meesssyy
what color are your eyes? brown
do you like your name? why? uuh sure, i like that there’s a stone called amber idk it’s Nice
what is your relationship status? 0 + 0 = 0
describe your personality in 3 words or less dumb, silly, somethin
what color hair do you have? brooownnn
what kind of car do you drive? color? don’t drive
where do you shop? i don’t consistently shop anywhere ??
how would you describe your style? i don’t have a consistent style i like multiple things fdhja, i rlly dig bomber jackets n ripped jeans tho bitch idk
favorite social media account idk if this is asking an account i love or what social medIA i prefer n just. the latter is twitter idk what to put here
what size bed do you have? queen..? i think… idk bed sizes well..
any siblings? nope
if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? mm don’t know
favorite snapchat filter? that fall one!! givin me the damn glasses and freckles n leaves falling idk why i like it so much dfjgad
favorite makeup brand(s) can’t answer….
how many times a week do you shower? …depression is a bitch averagely once or twice
favorite tv show? the walking dead, i guess
shoe size? 10 ½ i believe but that’s bc my feet are wide soo
how tall are you? 5′2″ a fuckin short ass
sandals or sneakers? sneakers
do you go to the gym? lol no
describe your dream date ok we can’t lie we know visiting a wolf sanctuary would be The One my dudes
how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? i have no wallet and no money
what color socks are you wearing? i.. am not wearing socks ok
how many pillows do you sleep with? one or two usually
do you have a job? what do you do? nope
how many friends do you have? ultimately one hi ashley dhja love u cj i’m just goin with irl
whats the worst thing you have ever done? iiidk i block out bad things i do and i also can’t remember anything before this morning lOL that bad
whats your favorite candle scent? ooh shoot idk, i’ve never had candles often anyways
3 favorite boy names ASHER, …brandon, uuumm idk david is nice
3 favorite girl names i don’t care as much.. djha imma skip it oops
favorite actor? bob morley is the go to my dudes
favorite actress? honestly?? danai gurira is precious
who is your celebrity crush? dkja steven yeun fuck ya’ll he’s cute as shit
favorite movie? i guess i should still say manchester by the sea, i looove it
do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? does the dream thieves count… can i say the dream thieves, second book to the raven cycle series. is that vALID
money or brains? brains but this is dumb
do you have a nickname? what is it? not rlly
how many times have you been to the hospital? it’s been so long since the last time, i don’t think i’ve gone for anything major rlly ever
top 10 favorite songs imma just put the ones that are my recent obsessions instead and maybe u listen to em cuz they’re Good mm
letdown by nothing, nowhere
all the kids are depressed by jeremy zucker
lovely by billie eilish w/ khalid
dream by bishop briggs
dark side by bishop briggs
warrior by aurora
all i have by nf
10 feet down by nf ft. ruelle
mansion by nf ft. fleurie i think
outcast by nf
do you take any medications daily? no
what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) uh dry
what is your biggest fear? i’m honestly like tired n a bit numb i can not comprehend fears
how many kids do you want? this is a future question for a future me if i think i want kids Later
whats your go to hair style? i’m more often in a ponytail than anything else ever
what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) small thin-walled apartment pls help
who is your role model? i honestly don’t think i’ve ever had one
what was the last compliment you received? um probably ashley calling me cute at some point in time Recently
what was the last text you sent? kjdfa rp. for rp
how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? fuck if i know probably around 10 or smth.. i could be way off
what is your dream car? if i drive a fuckin jeep wrangler bitch
opinion on smoking? mmm gross and just.. don’t smoke round me and we cool
do you go to college? gonna be lol fuck
what is your dream job? forensic dna analyst.. i guess
would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs
do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? no
do you have freckles? yeeaaaah
do you smile for pictures? occasionally Now
how many pictures do you have on your phone? 273
have you ever peed in the woods? ….no….
do you still watch cartoons? no
do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? mcdonALDS holy shit i haven’t had wendys in years
Favorite dipping sauce? sweet n sour
what do you wear to bed? usually whatever shirt i wore for the Day n pajama pants
have you ever won a spelling bee? fuck no
what are your hobbies? …video games?
can you draw? ……..questionable……..
do you play an instrument? oh hell no
what was the last concert you saw? crown the empire/warped tour july 2016.. sigh
tea or coffee? coffee !
Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? i’ve literally never had anything from starbucks
do you want to get married? um, debatable? depends on the person??
what is your crush’s first and last initial? i don’t have a crush rn
are you going to change your last name when you get married? if i do yh probably will
what color looks best on you? red doesn’t look bad? blue??? i don’t fucking know
do you miss anyone right now? ashleeey
do you sleep with your door open or closed? cloSED
do you believe in ghosts? not reeeaaalllyyyy but it’s.. a Concept dkjfa
what is your biggest pet peeve? i get really bothered by the sounds of someone eating dkjfa idk
last person you called? my mom, for 20 seconds, apparently
favorite ice cream flavor? i guess vanilla with chocolate chips iddkk
regular oreos or golden oreos? i. what the fuck are golden oreos?????
chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainboooow
what shirt are you wearing? a crown the empire shirt…
what is your phone background? my lock screen is adam and my home… is zen…….
are you outgoing or shy? lmao shy
do you like it when people play with your hair? not like it happens often but it’s kinda uncomfortable bc most ppl try to run their hands through it like it’s straight haiR?? like that hurts pls dkjfad
do you like your neighbors? i don’t fucking know my neighbors
do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? ,,,
have you ever been high? nope
have you ever been drunk? not like piss drunk naw
last thing you ate? STEAK
favorite lyrics right now i think i actually have one but i can’t remember what song it’s from dkjfa
summer or winter? winter
day or night? NIGHT
dark, milk, or white chocolate? milk but i like dark too…
favorite month? i don’t have one? march? june? november? dhfa choose from those
what is your zodiac sign pisces bitch
who was the last person you cried in front of? iiiii have no idea prob my mom from like Years ago, two or three years ago maybe
#i'm so fuckkiin tired i think i started this at 7:30#it is like 11 now#5 till#jesus#thanks tho questions r nice Distractions#love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu#wah
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Tea Time With Yours Truly:
Don’t you love it when you finally realize you’re truly moving on from a toxic situation like the adult you are, when a song you like makes you rethink your visions, feelings, etc. of someone?? or it that me? everything starts to feel entirely new again though regardless. better n’ cooler bc you know you’re not suffering anymore.. just, a fantastic feeling. woo
fucking incredible. I’m F R E E. absolutely free. still hurts though. some things made me realize I should’ve done it sooner and I did. as best I could, i did.I tried all I could and I succeeded for the most part,but damn do they haunt me so badly. I hate it.
Go away, pest. the last 5/6 years have been an emotional roller coaster for me and I want off.somehow I did,the ride still catching me occasionally and pulling me back on, dragging me to the unknown
((some good things happened here n’ there like me meeting some friends I still talk toooo, playing new games and finding new animes))
it’s just good to know though that my mind doesn’t associate them with anything anymore bc they didn’t deserve anything much tbh. just like told me
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I really want to bug my online buds constantly. From when I get up to when I fall asleep. send them memes, all that funky jazz..but I don’t. I can’t. I feel like I’m too clingy.. too needy.
I AM ACTUALLY. I shouldn’t care, but I do. Maybe it’s because I’m too emotional, too sensitive, too much, blah, blah, blah. Something "bad". Shit the grump hated that has just stuck to me like black balloons since. (( NF is the same with his mental issues. I’m glad to know I’m not alone with thinking of depression, anxiety, etc. as black balloons. Their like lifeless weights, but we still feel them weighing us down))
I love constant communication, especially from close friends.. bug me. 24/7. whenever, whatever. I don’t do anything. much that is. I’m overwhelmed when communicating nowadays so help me out pls??or not><
I don’t ask for it much though bc i was put down for asking for it. I was always told to say certain things as well, not think a certain way, send things at certain times. nothing nsfw even though we where adults. no art much bc it was always judged, other dumb shit.. I felt like the ultimate fucking bother bc of that.. person.
So I stayed to myself because of that and that made me worse ove time.
((I drove some people away when I did and I still am I feel,but I’m trying not too.. I couldn’t deal with myself though, I felt absolutely horrible. When I did, I said some nasty shit and I regret it all because a prick made me feel like complete shit and worthless about myself. I didn’t have to take it out on others like that, but wow.. I did. If I told anyone though,he’d come after me and that was what I didn’t want.. so nice huh?))
I felt like a broken down old dog. I still feel like that occasionally not as bad. not a pleasant feeling at all though
Are all of the things that make me like this really that bad or annoying or make me even less though?? fuck no it doesn’t. It makes me wayyyy better and much more cooler honestly, but those feelings still linger bc the manipulation was so bad..
—
Why the hell would you want me to be boring or better yet be with a boring person who doesn’t talk much and puts others down for similar behavior??
Why would I be with someone who doesn’t share any interests with me much or puts mine down bc they’re childish or unnecessary??
Why would I be with someone that doesn’t communicate anything at all and whatnot,like...please tell me??
I’m genuinely fucking interested.
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They told me I was always being too nice all the time. too soft, too babyish. too honest. too sensitive. blah, blah, blahhh. whenever I said something that was tooo personal or informative it’s like: "That’s too much information don’t ya think??" UMM, N O?? "Don’t say that around me ever or I’ll unfriend you and never speak to you again." Okay.. THEN DO IT, PUSSY.
Fucking asshat, douche canoe looking ass cunt.. ((He didn’t like those words or almost any word tbh it seems. true killjoy, I swear and I thought I was. I couldn’t even say oh my god or anything with lord in it because he’d then start saying "why are you saying that when you’re an atheist?" Umm actually I’m agnostic.. ))
he hated the whole "umm actually" deal too that I would do.. literally drove me up the damn wall every time. who fucking cares if I say that?? I’ve been accustomed to it because of my parents and people in general. come the fuck on now
It’s pretty common to say, twit. Don’t take it seriously, joke or not to piss me off to make you happy..man, he irritated the hell out of me and I’m glad he’s gone. like..look ‘bud’ should I just be angry and a constant liar and hateful and just, overall vile like you then all the time?? Guess so huh!! ohh boy!!
Which was almost that unfortunately.. i’m not good at lying and all like you though, you snake. when I did it wasn’t how I was feeling, it was how you felt.. which disgusted me.
I was always honest to you. maybe a few lies, but those were mostly about certain games that I didn’t really play and what I was laughing at. which was your dumb ass most of the time.
He made me start to hate things that made me very happy by being a total prick about it.. I miss feeling overwhelmed with overflowing joy for the things that bring and brought me peace.
I still have it, but it’s not as strong as it was before because some dumb fuck stepped on it too much telling me I’m weak in the process.
I couldn’t like anything anymore much without hearing him yelling at me occasionally and others as well that I never noticed till everything happened. just,yelling at me loudly and telling me how awful i am and other annoying, idiotic shit.. maybe that was your plan all along , to ruin me. ruin my confidence, my strength and my will to move up and thrive in life..
you tried dragging me down your well for being myself when you couldn’t.. pathetic. I bet you’re happy bc you feel like you ‘succeeded’ with this,but you didn’t win the war.
You never will
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they always manipulated me to dislike the things in life that made me happy. This irritated me a lot.. ((my interests in obscure and ‘buttrock’ bands/music in general, anime, weird games, my love for peculiar art, my badass friends..))
said absolute dumb shit if I got closer to some more than them. ((making me waste sooo much god damn time. say you’re busy all the time even though you live a "boring fucking same day to day lifestyle." tell them how you can’t message all the time when in fact you can and that you’re constantly on the only device that gets you connected to the world outside. tell them.)) makin me lie and be distant about how I felt with some of my amazing friends..
It was never about how I truly felt, but how they felt for me. (("Ohh they made you feel like that?? Well, it made me feel like this and you should too because //insert dumb explanation here//.", "You shouldn’t feel like that towards them, they don’t deserve it.", "Maybe I deserve to be treated like that instead, screw them.", "Don’t feel like that towards them or //issue//, thats absolutely appalling, childish, flat out sappy.", "Don’t let them know how you’re really feeling.. just act like you don’t care at all. They don’t care to help you anyway or else you’d be living a better life.", "They’ll just spread it around so just stay quiet instead until spoken too about it."))
E N D ME !!!
Pls, I beg of you.. not really but the thoughts though, please
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he would tell me to not bug him when hes on a game, but he could to me. even on social media, which is how we stayed connected and not by messenger pigeons like it’s the 1500’s.
"Don’t bug me on FB when I’m not on." Okay, but I wanna share this with you...?? also, how the hell am I gonna know when you’re on when I’m drawing and trying to occupy my on edge brain??
proceeds to spam me shit in process irritating me. "Don’t bug me, don’t bug me" I hear like a whiny little baby.
"Why do you bug me all the time??" UMM, MAYBE BECAUSE I CARE AND I WANT TO UHHH, IDK SHARE THIS NEAT SHIT WITH YOU??? PENDEJO PUTA DE MIERDA!!
"I’ll message you and send invites when I feel like it." - Shithead towards the end. Circa 1818. ((Yeah, weeks or a month later like nothing happened. "I’ll see you later or tonight when I see you on, get back on, when I’m done eating" just, excuse after excuse..))
((IM ALWAYS FUCKIN ONLINE 24 GAT DAMN 7. YOU KNOW THIS, SHITHEAD. I ALWAYS WANT TO TALK TO YOU OR SOMEONE IN THE DAMN GROUP. DNT FUCK WIT ME, MY TIME, OR PATIENCE LIKE THAT ANYMORE. ENOUGH. S T O P. And it did.. thank g o d))
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would literally make me wait around and feel like a complete and utter fool when instead he could’ve messaged and been like maybe tomorrow or something, but no.. nothing. made me believe in all sorts of dumb shit. ((Sad I did, but I was pretty gullible. still am. some stuff was just, a big nope though and obvious. I wouldn’t let him get to me that much, but he did in some ways.. disgusting ..))
I was made to feel like I was cared for when in fact I never was to begin with. explains a lot tbh. I felt like a disgusting half empty shell of a person with barely any fragments of a heart and soul left inside. that’s very dark, I know, but that’s how it feels in a way
"It’s not real, this depression you’re feeling, it’s just a phase. it’ll pass/ just suck it up and move on / don’t worry about it you’re fine, you’re just overreacting or overthinking about it / think positive more and be happy nothing bad has really happened to you yet/ I remember when you didn’t act like this."
HOW AND WHAT?!? EXCUSE ME, PEASANT!? SAY THAT AGAIN.. TO MY ACTUAL FACE. I DARE YOU N’ YEAH, I DO TO CAPTAIN OBVIOUS.
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I love how people ((friends and some mutuals)) thought I actually wanted to be, be with him, romantically and all that, that is but I just couldn’t..it was never there. I felt it for others though or someone to be exact, during those times which is how I knew I was in a toxic situation and it wasn’t real love or love in general I felt for them. just a facade
I just couldn’t let people know how badly he was treating me so I was sucked into a woven web of lies that got out of hand and ruined some pretty good moments for me completely it seemed
I never once wanted to fuck him or anything of the sort.
at first, we were kinda flirty and sweet with one another. talkin about cuddlin n’ goin on silly dates when we meet ya know. cute and fluffy things. things I got shit for down the road keep in mind. we’d give each other cute lil compliments to one another. It was just, cute and fun stuff ya know. especially since we were young as well.
there was never anything sexual between us either or too sexual, just crushy feels. ((I’m really fucking glad because mm, mmm. hard fucking pass))
he’d never and i mean never get my moist meter high, EVER. drier than this damn valley I live with scattered tumbleweeds, I tell you. not even a lil tingle. no bells ringing.fireworks flinging. I thought about it too and I’d just get disgusted tbh. thats how I knew
I felt like he’d be the worst in the end anyway and he was in general. he wasn’t even comfortable with himself or his sexuality and others things.. sooo, noooo, NOPE. thank u, next!!
I’m completely comfortable with mine.. thanks to my friends and some a bit more. I’m a bit scared to admit though that I’m demi bc of manipulation, but it is.
Happens unfortunately and I know I’m not alone on this journey of self acceptance. I wouldn’t have mind talking about it though, in a calm civil manner like adults do instead of giggling and making weird noises like an idiotic child.
Having it being brought up randomly amongst mutuals and all that got extremely awkward too as well, I hated it. "You wanna fuck him?", "You ever thought about it you two since y’all so close?" crickets and a few mumbled noises.. HA.mmm, I cared about him or what was left of him, not like that. honey flower ain’t or never will be feelin it for him.. EVER. HE EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATED ME AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW SEX THAT MUCH OR MYSELF LIKE THAT SO FUCK HIM. uwu
She’s kinda quiet and scared tbh because he’s such a total killjoy asshole. she senses fear. she knows who really gets her bud blooming. just, the thought of him though like that made me wanna scream and kick him in this stupid ass face.
Ruined a lot of things for me, I swear but I’m moving on as best as I can.
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He had this switch flip type of mood. I don’t even remember how or why it happened, but it just got worse during and after his breakup it seems.
Which was like 3-4 years ago. started happening out of the blue and over time it just started to bug the living fuck out of me. daily. I was starting to hate it and hate it I did. made my skin crawl.. ((all the Linkin Park jokes))
It made me hate myself which I never did much tbh and I didn’t like that at all.. I wanted out, but I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t know who to talk to bc he’d come after me if I did especially if they knew him..
they didn’t though and were on my side, but yeah. I’m glad it stopped
A L L OF IT. I don’t need that kind ‘love’ in my life. that,awful presence. I don’t need any of that at all.. MMM, MMM BYE, BYE!! Disgusting.
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I wanted to help em try to be happy so fuckin bad after what happened ya know as friends do, when it should’ve been myself making me happy instead.. it was,but everything just got to me.
All the sighs. How lovely huh. We were ‘best friends’ ya know. I can’t even really call anyone that much bc it unnerves me. you’re supposed to make each other happy and all that as best friends, not a sad sack of low shit.
I can’t believe I wanted to be with him and or be around him that is... eughh. I was confused and in a dangerous situation towards the end.. feels like it was my fault, but it wasn’t.
Couldn’t talk to anyone about it. It was extremely fucking stupid on my part
Long time or not, why? just, holding onto old times I guess
That’s where I messed up. I didn’t even really bother trying to be with him tbh as I’ve said. in the beginning maybe yeah when we were younger, but he made me feel less and less over time as we grew older. I was embarrassed about a lot of shit and slowly I just finally realized how much of an asshole he really and truly is and how bad I wanted him out my life.
I couldn’t get away and when I did, he’d still be there someway.. haunting me with his negative nagging.it was dumb I know. I just don’t know exactly how I got lost in it so damn badly, but man, am I really dumb for doing it..
I wholeheartedly despise those feelings I had then and I fucking despise them now. ALL OF THEM. THEY HAVE RUINED MY LIFE AND IDK WHAT TO DO ANYMORE
((Great character development though, Cynth. Growing up and moving on. Something he could never do))
I don’t want to bring these problems into anyone else’s life and I did and I regret it.. I would like to disconnect from the server please bc of it, thank you
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I was made to feel like my disability was cureable around him and that I can do shit when I get my operations done when in fact, I can’t at all and won’t ever get ‘cured’ or anything like that of the sort.typical ableist /lamdwalker activity. despite how many times I told him,he’d forget. Mhmm, sure.. you only heard what you wanted. It’s fine
"We’ll be able to do this when you get said //part// fixed.." what? can I not do that now or something?? I know I can’t, but I can at least try right?? am I really not that good enough to be around and do shit with?? guess so, cool. Okay, I see. I really tolerated some extreme ableism and I still do, but it’s not as bad as that was..
I wish I could cure my RA though like that and have said money to do it. Snap my fingers and it’s done right? ummm, no. not as easy you think dumb ass. I have fused joints, osteo, it’s everywhere like how the hell am I gonna fix that so easily?? tell me, doc
You trippin more than younger me did. I think that’s why he just flat out ditched me in the end and got a gf while he was at it that had an almost exact personality as me in the process. he would point it out too and made me feel fucking creeped out even more.. like, I get it. can’t be youre, abled dream
Why do you care if we’re alike in some ways though?? ((Look where it got him though. He’s still struggling with it, the breakup, bringing it up once n’ awhile like it didn’t happen. It was hilarious to me bc he really was a basket case. I know he was trying to get rid of it, but he was more obsessive about it than a mf))
thankful I don’t deal with it anymore
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"You live the same day to day lifestyle. Ever since you and I graduated. The same fucking thing. The only new things you do are go to your stupid concerts or teach those weird kids. I see it or you end up telling me anyway." ((I know captain obvious yet again.. at least I’m having fun when I’m doing that. concerts for my favorite bands make me happy, teaching my kids do too ya asshole))
"Nothing is gonna change anyway if you get those procedures done. It’ll be worse for you and we all know that. Just deal with it and try to move on." ((I hate hearing your voice in my head. I want to ban it, mute it from all existence.. I’ve been replacing it with others and I’m glad it’s working))
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I keep hearing his voice sometimes when I post something on social media. not his actual voice, but something similar, especially in tone. moody and monotone. art,status, any of those with hashtags, rt‘s, anything.. I heard it
"Why did you post that?? Looking for attention or something?", "Not many people liked it because it’s //insert stuff I love here//", "Don’t like shit like that. I don’t want to scroll around awkwardly when I’m out.", "I saw what you put. Idk how to approach it, but I’ll like it to show you I care/to look at later to process."
Tf does that mean and huh?? Why do you care what I put anyway?? I don’t care what you put so why should you care what I put?? Why make me feel like shit for putting this up or talking about something I have some balls too. I want people to know. I’m close to some of these people
I haven’t been posting much because of that. It’s very noticeable and my some of my friends can vouch for it from the viewing couch. renders I do of friends stuff, my original work, OC stuff, fan arts. A L L gets judged by the mighty grump. who it is, colors, the style, shading.. nothing was good enough I guess. even though you said it was and so did my brain at one point. It does, but she’s just not that confident much anymore
He’d get on fan art which was the most irritating thing. "Try and draw like that or do something like that for once.", "They didn’t get me right.. did you give them the references? Even though you still haven’t made a proper one?", "Why did they draw me like that?", "That’s cool. Why my character though?" PEOPLE DRAW IN THEIR OWN WAYS IN MANY STYLES AND CAN CREATIVELY DO WHATEVER THEYD LIKE YA FUCKIN DUMBASS. IN THE END, ITS MY CHARACTER ANYWAY. YOU DIDNT DRAW HIM. I DID N’ WHO CARES. MAYBE THEY LIKE YOUR CHARACTER OR IDK I REQUESTED IT TO MAKE YOUR SAD ASS HAPPY.
"Ohh yeah, I used to draw back in the day." The shit he sent me was traced, had his signature on it covering the original artists, no consistent style. Straight up thief and ugly liar. He can’t even draw a straight line, let alone paint a piece. Please, boy. I KNEW IT AND HED MANIPULATE ME INTO THINKING IT WAS AND I KNEW. AINT FOOLING ME THERE. I maybe or might’ve been extremely gullible as a teen, but ooohhh honeyyyy, I knew, I knew.
Artist my ass. Yeah con artist :))
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I hated the awkward silence moments between us when we spoke. I literally wanted to fucking scream at you like you did to me sometimes when you were having a "bad day".
I wanted to yell at you about everything you’ve ever done to me the last time we talked and I just broke down instead because I am an "emotional bitch" as you say. HOLY SHIT though, are you boring. I thought I was, but I just get dissociative and I space out because I didn’t know what to say and when I did,I got judged for it. for everything else as wel which made me feel worse. fuucking fantastic you are
You made me feel like I was was swirling in this dead and extremely lonely silence that was ever so slowly drowning me and dragging me down.. ((Like BMTH says, don’t let me drown and you did to an extent)) i couldn’t breathe right for the longest time with you there.. felt like an enormous weight on my chest
when I was in there, it was awful and made me feel worse. I didn’t want to leave and when I did,you’d think I’d be having a fit or something.so, I would stay until you left and when you did it was absolute freedom.
I swear I hated being around you. I got judged for making any sort of weird noise, hiccup, burp, humming, my singing, jokes. such a fun person you are, hmph
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