#someone could make an incredibly detailed and compelling analysis of that scene

[deeism]

frank waterboarding dee.... scenes to sink your teeth into and shake around frantically

[sun-undone]

OBX details that make me feral (12/?)

An unqualified and unsolicited analysis of JJ's defense and coping mechanisms in the first half of 1x07

Okay huge disclaimer (this is how you know it's gonna be good):

I am by no means an expert on this stuff!! I’m just someone with a psych degree who likes to think too much about fictional characters’ psyches when there usually isn’t enough evidence to accurately do so. With that being said, the Pogue fight in 1x07 over JJ stealing 25K from Barry is one of my all time favorite obx scenes because I just think that the way that JJ acts and reacts throughout it is so incredibly interesting. And this is just one potential theory for his actions in this scene (and a bit of the aftermath), but I’m sure that there are an infinite number of possible explanations.

Why JJ takes the money in the first place

Okay so I think it's probably pretty clear that he's acting out here, doing something that he knows is probably a bad idea in the long run and actively ignoring the Pogues' trepidations. And acting out is actually an immature defense mechanism that is characterized by impulsive, often self-destructive acts as a way to (unhealthily) protect oneself against negative emotions that arise from stressful situations.

JJ has definitely just been thrown into a stressful situation when he and the rest of the Pogues are held at gunpoint, and then that stress grows exponentially when he realizes that Barry, someone who he sees as a facilitator of his father’s addictive tendencies, is the culprit.

In a split second, all of the stress that he's already feeling gets inexplicably tied to Luke, which automatically triggers a bunch of other negative emotions and thus, other defense mechanisms, leading JJ to go rogue in the bulldozer kind of way that he does.

With more defense mechanisms dogpiling as JJ starts scouring Barry's trailer, I think displacement could also potentially be in play here. Displacement is another immature defense in which someone reattributes their negative emotions for one person/situation to another person/situation, usually one that is easier to control or less threatening.

In this case, I think that JJ could be so deadset on "justice" for the incident with Barry because he is actually craving justice for the situation with his father.

This makes sense because the connection between Barry and Luke is very salient for him in this moment, and he actually has some semblance of control and power over Barry right now (since he and the Pogues had just beat him up on the road), whereas he feels he has none of that over Luke. So maybe he can't relieve some of the angst he feels over his father, but he can steal Barry's money and enact some sort of "justice".

One more interesting thing I just wanna point out that doesn't really have to do with defense mechanisms is that JJ clearly doesn't take all of the money that he finds in Barry's stash.

This little detail makes me stop and think every single time I rewatch this scene (which is more often than I'd like to admit). Even when he’s acting on impulse and already has some major defensive blinders up, he still maintains some level of moral compass/conscience by only taking 25K. Stuff like that just makes JJ such a complex character and ugh I love him okay moving on

How JJ handles the ensuing Pogue fight

Okay so this one is super super interesting to me, and this is the part where I might be thinking WAY too much and trying to fit JJ's behavior into the boxes that I think he should fit into, based on his history of abuse. I think I've got some pretty compelling evidence, but y'know, grain of salt and all that.

So splitting is yet another immature defense mechanism in which someone can only see themselves or others in terms of personality extremes: either all good or all bad. The person is unable to integrate nuance into their perceptions of the self and others, usually due to being raised in a chronically unpredictable environment.

Seemingly on a dime, the person can switch from seeing themselves/others as untouchable heroes to instead seeing themselves/others as worthless weaklings or hostile objects. When confronted with the potential anxiety of having to reconcile their contradictory views of themselves/others, they unconsciously choose whichever perceptual extreme is more salient in the moment. I think there is evidence of JJ using this defense mechanism throughout the series, but especially in 1x07.

Splitting of the self In terms of JJ’s self-image, I feel like he has two settings: 1) incredibly high confidence, cocky JJ, and 2) incredibly low self-esteem, “good for nothing” JJ.

In the few montages of social situations in which we’ve seen JJ, he seems to have no problem being the center of attention. I can't really get a good screenshot of it (and i still can't gif i'm sorry), but I'm definitely thinking of that very first montage in 1x01 when John B is introducing everyone, and we see JJ literally in the center of a circle, animatedly regaling people with some surf story. But there's also this moment in 1x01 where we can more clearly see JJ right in the middle of another party circle, with everyone's attention on him.

It’s also heavily implied that he’s a player who is highly charismatic and just good with people in general, a skill that he knows he has and often takes advantage of (like lying on the spot in 1x03, 1x05, and earlier in 1x07 in order to help the Pogues out).

He tends to come off as very cocky, especially when coming up with plans, as he often overestimates his own abilities and underestimates those of others. This happens more in season 2, but think of any of the times he comes up with a plan and genuinely believes that it'll work, even when everyone else can realize that it's ridiculous.

But despite this, we’ve also seen JJ express incredibly low opinions about himself, usually related to his status as a Maybank. Once again, I feel like this is more upfront in season 2, but you can definitely see it shining through when he takes the blame for Pope in 1x04 ("You know where I'm from"), or even just through the "nothing to lose" thing in general. He is the one who came up with that motto in the first place, potentially because that idea of having no prospects is already so salient in his mind. And of course, we see where this portion of his self-image comes from in 1x05 when Luke calls him a "worthless piece of shit". (hey btw fuck luke maybank)

This may just be more of a feeling kind of thing, but from everything we’ve seen from him so far, I highly doubt that JJ has a very nuanced perception of himself that healthily reconciles these two extremes. It seems like whenever we get any insight into JJ’s psyche (which admittedly isn’t very often), he’s only ever expressing one or the other. Half the time, he sees himself as this overly capable, vigilante-like figure, and the other half of the time, he sees himself as trash.

Splitting of others Okay now we finally return to the Pogue fight in 1x07. I think we can see this other version of splitting when the Pogues get mad at JJ for stealing the 25K. Most of the time, I think it’s safe to assume that JJ views the Pogues very highly, maybe even too highly. He has an extremely positive perception of them because they’re his found family, and he’s (potentially overly) attached himself to them in lieu of his blood family. When they start showing negative emotions towards him, he (subconsciously) doesn’t know how to reconcile that with the super positive perceptions that he has of them, so he immediately switches to seeing them as hostile and goes on the defensive. JJ is totally unable to have a nuanced discussion about what’s happened because he’s already in defense mode. This then triggers the use of other immature defense mechanisms like rationalization,

denial,

and more acting out (this looks stupid without a gif but you know what i'm talking about okay he shoves John B against the Twinkie),

until he eventually shuts down completely and walks away from the conflict, an avoidant coping mechanism that he assumedly falls back on frequently, judging by how John B later describes it as “a JJ thing”.

Some other dialogue/acting details during the Pogue fight that do in fact make me feral

"Pope, I took the fall for you, man!"

This line is the only moment in this scene where JJ’s deeper emotions of dejection and desperation are seeping through (that little quiver when he says “man"???? oooooooh Rudy Pankow thank you so much for your service), while all of his other lines and actions are clouded by defensive anger. It absolutely breaks my heart because I feel like he’s trying to express that all the “crazy shit” that he does is for the Pogues, but he doesn’t really know how to verbalize it properly or fully, so he just kinda blurts this out as an incomplete rationalization. And when Pope responds by saying that he didn’t even ask JJ to do that for him, I feel like that just makes JJ shut down even more because it’s like Pope is rejecting his act of selfless friendship.

"I just did. Pay it back."

I adore the way that this line is disjointed because it gives the “I just did” part a double meaning. At first, it seems like JJ is saying that he just acted selflessly for Pope without being asked to (“I didn’t even ask you to do that.” “I just did.”), but then he decides to continue on, shifting the meaning of the phrase to instead connect to how he just got the money to pay the restitution (“I just did. Pay it back.”). Because of that tiny pause in the dialogue, you can literally hear and see the last bit of vulnerability fade away from JJ’s speech as he covers it back up with his defensiveness, which subsequently reaches its highest point as he decides to completely distance himself (both emotionally and physically) from the Pogues.

(this drone shot of JJ walking off on his own makes me so emotional because he looks so small. it reminds me of other drone shots that are used to convey a similar type of emotional smallness/loneliness in 1x08 with John B after he's escaped Ward, and then in 1x10 with John B and Sarah when they're stranded in the ocean)

How JJ copes in the aftermath of the Pogue fight

After being rejected by his found family, JJ immediately goes to his blood family in search of love and validation, unconsciously or maybe even consciously knowing that Luke will ignore the immorality of JJ’s actions, which the Pogues were unable to do.

It always breaks my heart how childlike this reaction is. After a fight with your friends, wouldn't you also just naturally want to go to your parents for some comfort? It's like JJ completely ignores the threat of Luke in this moment because this primal craving for love is stronger than the potential danger of the situation. God it's so heartbreaking, but this scene really reminds you that JJ is still such a kid in so many ways. He's been forced to deal with adult situations and stressors, but his emotional level hasn't really caught up in some key domains, which potentially contributes to his frequent use of these immature defenses and coping mechanisms.

And for a bit, he does get the validation and acceptance that he’s searching for, as Luke praises him and offers him a beer, which is a depressing but very in character way for Luke to express his love. But this comfort is also very quickly ripped away from JJ, which ultimately leads him to the hot tub incident (shocker, i have things to say about that scene too, but that’ll be in the next post cause this is already way too long).

If anyone read all of this, let's be besties right now i love you mwah

previous post // next post

[strangertheory]

"anti-Mileven"

I know you submitted this as a message and not an Ask, but I hope you don't mind if I answer your question with a longer post because this is a topic that is important to me but is complicated. I've meant to do a post about this, but kept putting it off because it is a very layered topic for me and my thoughts about Mileven are probably not what a lot of fans want to hear.

I respect that everyone develops an attachment to their preferred couples in stories for personal reasons, and as such any criticism of the dynamic between two characters that are dating can feel like a very personal criticism. I respect everyone's head-canons and favorite ships as sacred ground: I don't want to tell anyone how they should or should not relate to a story. That's unique to each of us as fans, and we will all enjoy Stranger Things for different reasons.

However: I do have some thoughts regarding the way that the narrative has established the dynamic between Mike and El. And I personally do not find their dynamic *as it currently is* to be one that is ideal for either of them yet.

I really care about Eleven and I really care about Mike. They are two of my favorite characters in the story.

To say that I'm "anti-Mileven" is a huge oversimplification of how I feel about Mike and El's dynamic.

I am very much anti:

overlooking the fact El has been treated as a lab rat and abused and isolated from society for the majority of her existence and her ignorance of her own identity and her own desires is repeatedly reinforced canonically. ("How do I know what I like?") El has spent only a few months out in the world beyond her cell at the lab and beyond Hopper's cabin, she knows very little about the world yet, and she is being taught much of what she now knows by her boyfriend who also happens to be one of the few people she interacts with in her daily life. The power difference and social difference between them is huge currently regardless of whether Mike is a nice kid with good intentions or not, and they are both fourteen years olds.

overlooking that it is superficial and not representative of a "deep" relationship to only kiss and make out with a significant other and not do other meaningful activities that establish a real day-to-day relationship (like hanging out with friends and other loved ones as a couple.) There's a popular misconception that the act of two people kissing is inherently romantic and a sign of emotional closeness. But kissing becomes romantic psychologically when two people share a deep affection for one another that is based on shared experiences and emotional and psychological connectedness. If two characters can be shown to care about one another without ever physically touching, they have the potential for a deep connection that is based on more than the thrill of physical affection. Give me a well-developed relationship first, and then kissing will seem romantic to me. Without an established psychological and emotional connection between characters, kissing is merely a superficial representation of the idea of intimacy between characters without any actual substance underneath. Sure that's what kids do when they're figuring out how dating and feelings and physical intimacy work and it's not harmful in itself provided that they are both comfortable with it, but keep this in mind within the context of the other concerns I list here.

trivializing Mike's dishonesty and blaming Hopper for Mike's lying when the truth is Mike could have easily explained to El that Hopper didn't want them spending as much time together and having some space would be better. El is well aware of Hopper's dislike for their time spent together. This should have been a very easy conversation. As Lucas rightfully asks as Mike is ranting about the situation he got himself into: "Why lie?" Good question, Lucas. Good question. El asks Mike this again later at the mall. "Why do you lie?" Mike stares back at her with an awkward expression, and does NOT answer her. Why is this answer not an easy one? Why has Mike still not addressed things with El? I think there is more going on here than just Hopper's threats.

I am very in favor of:

El learning more about who she is and what she wants to do with her life outside of the desires and expectations of other people.

Mike figuring out how to effectively express his thoughts and feelings honestly. He is clearly struggling to do this throughout season 3, and it is uncharacteristic of the kid who defiantly said and did what he wanted frequently in seasons 1 and 2. Clearly Mike is not comfortable and is nervous, which is understandable for someone exploring new emotionally vulnerable territory like dating for the first time, but he needs to learn to be honest and tell people how he is thinking and feeling or else he is also putting himself and his feelings and needs at risk and potentially establishing an unhealthy relationship that will hurt him and hurt others even if he doesn't mean to. Mike's nervousness is STILL present in the final goodbye scene in which Mike and El talk, and El tells him she loves him and kisses him. He is still stumbling over his words and anxious, and he seems notably confused after El kisses him. These small details are not trivial, they are clearly intentional.

Recognizing that Mike is the first person her age that was kind to El when she escaped the lab, and given that she has only known pain and abuse her entire life and has never known friendship let alone romance that her psychological readiness for understanding a romantic relationship is NOT the same as an ordinary 14 year old's and this cannot be stated enough.

Recognizing that societal pressures and personal insecurities might be a huge factor in how Mike clings to El's attention and affection for him, and that there is evidence in the story that supports this interpretation. We know that Mike is bullied frequently, and that there is a layer of homophobia often involved. (Even if James and Troy were speaking rudely about Will, they were still directly confronting Mike. The implication is there.) We know that Lucas yelled at Mike "No Mike. You're blind. Blind because you like that a girl's not grossed out by you!" This reveals that Lucas knows that Mike is insecure and wants validation. Just because Mike has a desperate desire to be loved and liked by a girl does not mean that his appreciation of El's attention is based on his genuine romantic affection for her. Mike might be dating El because he enjoys the attention, he likes being liked, and he likes how having a girlfriend makes him feel more accepted and normal.

Recognizing that every moment that Mike has tried to share something that he is passionate about with El (the Yoda figurine, the dinosaurs) she has been completely disinterested. Since El has no cultural connection to the pop culture stories Mike loves and she lived in the Lab her entire life, it makes perfect sense that she will have no interest in these toys. Her lack of interest in what Mike is passionate about, however, is worth noting: not because it's a bad thing, but because it's just one of many reasons they are "not even from the same planet" and cannot bond and connect easily. El has lived an incredibly different life from Mike, has suffered through so much, and is still learning about the outside world and about herself. She is severely behind in social and personal development. She needs time to learn and to grow and to heal so she can live her best life and recover from what she has been through. (She doesn't really care about your Star Wars toys, Michael, because she just learned what a phone is and is processing a lot of other things right now.)

*I want to credit @kaypeace21 for pointing out many of these particular observations listed above: you can read her very detailed and extensive analysis in her post here: El is Not in Love with Mike.

These are just a few of many thoughts I have regarding Mike and El's dynamic together, and why I find the romanticization and idealization of their dating relationship to be more suited to fan-canon and fanfiction. For El to have a relationship with Mike that I would personally enjoy and appreciate, the story would need to convincingly allow her to establish a notably better understanding of who she is and what she wants, and have time to heal from her trauma and learn a lot more about the outside world. While I suspect that the Byers moving away will be very difficult for Will, in many ways I think it will benefit El tremendously and I hope that she is given more opportunities to learn and to grow.

I also agree with @hawkinsschoolcounselor 's hypothesis that Mike is projecting his feelings for Will onto El. It's impossible for me to see Mike's dynamic with El as entirely separate from Mike's relationship with Will because El was found in the woods when they were looking for Will in season 1, El helped everyone find Will in the Upside Down and saved his life, and El reappears at the end if season 2 and saves Will from the Mindflayer. Until season 3, El's appearance in Mike's life has been directly tied to Will's survival and safety. I do not think this is a trivial aspect of El's narrative. El's importance within the larger story being told is repeatedly tied back to what Will is dealing with. The reason that El and Will's narratives are so deeply intertwined has not been revealed in the story yet, but I suspect that there are some important aspects of El and Will's stories that haven't been fully revealed yet that will bring all of these seemingly isolated plot threads together. The creators of Stranger Things repeatedly tie El and Will together visually and narratively (re: @kaypeace21), and I believe there is a very specific reason for this.

I look forward to seeing what happens in season 4. Whether my interpretation of El and Mike's dynamic is fair or not, I trust the writers have a compelling next chapter in their story for us all to enjoy.

[currantlee]

My issues with Blake’s Atlas outfit

Blake Belladonna is an ambush fighter who will avoid unnecessary combat and prefer to surprise or even backstab her opponents rather than picking an open fight. She is highly mobile, fast and can use the power of her Semblance, Shadow Clone, to make immobile copies of herself in order to distract or deceive her opponents. Her clones can be modified with dust to have different attributes, for example ice dust may be used in order to create a clone made of ice. Blake also excels at stealth and infiltrating enemy territory.

I’m focusing so much on her fighting style and her abilities because fights are an important part of RWBY. Let’s not forget that according to the fanbase, the fights speak for themselves!

However, so does character design. And if I were to show you this particular character design without you having watched the show – would you believe me that this is the same character I just described to you?

If you did,then you’re probably different than me and this character design actually makes sense to you – which isn’t a bad thing. However, it doesn’t make sense to me, not for a character like Blake and not for an environment like Solitas.

I have a love-hate relationship with RWBY. On the one hand I love the show because there are so many wonderful concepts and ideas in that show (even those seem to be borrowed from other media without an actual understanding on how the concept works most of the time). And on the other hand I hate it because it almost never uses the concepts and ideas to their full potential and prefers to do a lot of very bad fanservice instead.

That being said, I want to make very clear that everything in this post is my opinion and my perspective. I obviously dislike this character design, however, my opinion is not a universal one. If you like this design, that’s great!

Please do also keep in mind that I’m almost entirely self-taught when it comes to this topic and my primary approach when designing characters myself is practicality. This approach obviously doesn’t apply universally and it is certainly not the only way to approach designing a character.

My initial reaction to Blake’s new design

I’m not going to lie: my first reaction when I saw the V7 Artwork for Blake was: “What is this?” Not a purely negative way because there are actually elements I like, but still, the design didn’t make sense to me from the get-go, which isn’t a good thing in my opinion.

To the design’s credit, I did recognize Blake (mainly due to knowing it’s from RWBY and her cat ears) and not just because someone told me that it’s Blake. I obviously had a lot of problems with this design immediately after the reveal despite this.

Also, and I’m just going to mention this really quickly: when a few friends and I discussed the new designs shortly after the reveal, we all could agree somewhat that this design seems to be a somewhat fetishized version of Blake, despite the fact that she isn’t showing much skin. This is especially unfortunate because Blake is essentially a catgirl. You know, that type of character design which commonly tends to be fetishized. I won’t go into further detail with this however as the topic makes me personally uncomfortable.

With that right out of the way, let’s get into the actual analysis.

The Character of Blake Belladonna

To understand why I think that this character design is very mediocre at best in my opinion, I think that I should explain who I think Blake Belladonna is as a character – and not just her fighting style, which I have already described in the opening.

To be honest... It’s hard for me to characterize her. And not because she doesn’t do or talk much, but because RWBY is incredibly inconsistent with characterization, specifically when it comes to Blake (seriously, I think only RWBY can have an anti-violence character murder somebody and then jump back to the character being against violence... Without any development in between). So, I’m just going back to the Black Trailer and the first episodes of RWBY Volume 1 in order to get an idea of what she was originally like.

The first time we see Blake is in the Black Trailer, in which she ambushes a train together with a mysterious guy (a.k.a. Adam Taurus), only to leave him behind on the train at the end of the trailer after this vocal exchange:

Blake: What about the crew members [of the train]? Adam: What about them?

This established Blake as a character who, despite the violent nature of her actions, cares about others and their lives. It also shrouded her in mystery: we wanted to know why she left that guy behind. We also get a glimpse on Blake’s sass in the trailer when she tells Adam to “[not] be so dramatic”.

The first time we see Blake in the show itself is in RWBY Volume 1, Chapter 2: The Shining Beacon (Part 1), where she confronts Weiss Schnee after Ruby Rose accidentally knocked over her baggage. Note that in this scene, Blake is fairly sassy, just like she was in the Black Trailer:

Ruby: Hey, I said I was sorry, princess! Blake: It’s “heiress”, actually. Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust Company, one of the largest producers of energy compellants in the world. Weiss: Finally! Some Recognition! Blake: The same company infamous for it’s controversial labour forces and questionable business partners.

Let me say this again: Blake is – once again – being sassy here. And the reason I want to stress this so much is because Blake is often described as shy or anti-social because she prefers to be alone, which I don’t really agree with – my approach is that she is more of an introvert, who only interacts when she wants to (which fits her cat theme very well in my opinion), something that is established within that scene.

Aside from that, the scene establishes that Blake is usually well-informed and has a strong sense of justice, which is a very important part of her character as well. She is also not afraid to speak out against injustice when she sees it.

Finally, we have the scene that is most often used in order to describe Blake as an introvert: the scene in RWBY Volume 1 Chapter 3: The Shining Beacon (Part 2), in which Ruby thanks her for coming to her help when Weiss was scolding her earlier on and the two start to have a conversation about books. Blake is established as a book lover and more of a quiet and calm person in this scene.

It should be mentioned that the scene is used to contrast Blake with the other members of the main cast: Ruby is too shy to talk to Blake at first (which is something you can’t say about Blake, because she doesn’t seem uncomfortable with the situation, but more like she doesn’t want to talk and continue reading), Yang’s flashy personality contrasts Blake’s calmness and Weiss’ egoism contrasts Blake’s display of maturity.

We later learn why Blake prefers to be alone: over the course of the first four volumes, we learn that Adam was in fact Blake’s boyfriend and that they were members of an organization that turned into terrorists (after Blake left) together. Blake ran away because she did not want to hurt people and enrolled at Beacon Academy to become a Huntress instead in order make up for the bad things she supposedly did during her time with the White Fang (again, Blake has a strong sense of justice). After Blake’s friend Sun Wukong is injured by Ilia Amitola at the end of Volume 4, the two have an emotional conversation in Chapter 11: Taking Control:

Blake: This is why I left them all behind. Sun: What are you... Wait. Where am I? Blake: I am done seeing my friends hurt because of me!

She becomes very emotional in this scene, to the point where she seemingly doesn’t care that Sun is hurt, which is something you rarely see happening with Blake. This emphasizes how important her friends’ safety is to her. Also, if you think about it, Blake’s worries aren’t empty fears. She was part of a terrorist organization – and they’ll likely not let her go just like that. In fact, the White Fang tries to assassinate her entire family in Volume 5. So yeah, her worries are far from unjustified.

It should also be mentioned that Blake alludes to Belle from Beauty and the Beast, specifically the Disney version.

All in all, Blake is a character, who...

... (deeply) cares about others and their lives, even when those people are her enemies. This holds true especially for her friends.

... has a strong sense of justice.

... usually displays a calm and mature demanor.

... often approaches things very rationally and will only become very emotional in rare instances.

... usually chooses to be alone / not interact with others unless she wants to.

In addition, when it comes to fighting, Blake is a character who...

... generally avoids violence and especially open fights when she can (even though she is capable of handling an open fight as long as she is with at least one teammate).

... is intelligent, usually well-informed and capable to use this to her advantage.

... is not a heavy hitter and instead relies on her speed and mobility, especially in the air.

... can be quite stealthy and deceptive.

... is capable of using multiple weapon types and dual-wielding blades.

This, to me, makes clear that Blake was likely supposed to be a ninja / assassin type of character with elements of an illusionist (mainly due to her Semblance). This would mean that she relies on the element of surprise, creativity when it comes to taking her opponent down (which she needs to do fast or she will lose the fight) and escaping, staying hidden for extended periods of time, and finally: information.

So now that we know who Blake actually is (or rather, what she was likely supposed to be), we can talk about...

So what about her Atlas design?

General Stuff

Where am I supposed to look? Someone please tell me where I am supposed to look here because I don’t know!

There is way too much stuff without any kind of orientation going on with this design, which is a general issue with the newer RWBY designs in my opinion. However, the Mistral designs did at least have some sort of focal point, something that immediately caught the eye of the viewer.

I struggle with this a lot myself, but usually you want to have a focal point in any picture - including a character design – and ideally guide the viewer’s gaze from there. In character design, the focal point is often a character’s hair or face, because as the characters may change their outfits over the course of a series, they can’t change their face (and usually won’t change their hair too much). In other words: focal points in character designs are often the elements that make a character recognizable.

An example of this is Tsukino Usagi a.k.a. Sailor Moon with her iconic bunnytails (it are buns. Falling into pigtails. Bunnytails! Which is fitting because her name means moon bunny). Not only do they immediately draw your attention because it is a very unusual hairstyle, but the loose part also guides your view from her face to her actual outfit. It’s also an iconic element that remains mostly unchanged throughout her various different character designs over the course of the series.

Blake’s visual signifier, the thing that makes her identifiable immediately and distinguishes her from other characters looking similar to her (e.g. Cinder Fall) is the fact that she always has something on her head. In the early Volumes this used to be a bow, in the newer Volumes it’s her cat ears. However, those do not function as a focal point in this design (or honestly – at all). Which by itself is not an inheritly bad thing (even though Blake’s design admittedly doesn’t stand out much due to the lack of a distinct, outstanding element that makes her instantly recognizable and the fact that there are so many characters with a similar design to hers).

The problem with this is that there is no other focal point. As I stated previously, there is just too much going on in the design. The cat ears are about the last thing I’m looking at, and my gaze is not lingering on them for a while. This is partly because they’re just not a very intriguing element and partly because there is too much other, potentially more interesting.

Another thing about this is Gambol Shroud. Now, I will say this, I have issues with the reforged Gambol Shroud. However, incorporating the original Gambol Shroud into the artwork rather than the reforged version (even if it had been reforged in a different way than just adding yellow superglue) was a good choice on Ein Lee’s part – and just not because it avoided giving spoilers to the audience. The cat ears are just not enough to identify Blake immediately (just going by the design), especially because they’re already rather subtle in a design that isn’t as overloaded as this one and there were so many things that were changed about her character design for Atlas, mainly her hair.

Gambol Shroud takes up more space than the ears, and especially the ribbon is interesting, so the viewer’s gaze is more likely to linger on that for a while. That’s why I think that this was a really good choice.

That being said, let’s talk about Blake’s other visual signifiers, which are...

Blake’s hair and the color black

A big part of RWBY’s design philosophy is that every character has their design, name and even traits centered around one color. In case of Blake, her color is black, meaning that it should ideally be the most present color in her outfits.

Blake’s hair is also black and speaking of it... Many shows are afraid to change the characters hairstyles. Not only is hair something that’s really personal (in real life too! Which is why hairstyle changes, especially drastic ones like cuts, are often interpreted as indicators of a huge change in someone’s personality or life), but hairstyles, especially in anime, manga or similar media, can become really iconic. Just think of Son Goku’s spiky tower or, again, Sailor Moon’s bunnytails.

I will say though that Blake’s hair, before the change, was admittedly fairly simple, if not even boring, and too similar to Yang’s hair in my opinion. That is why I really welcome this change to be honest. However, I wish they would have kept Blake’s curls because I actually really liked those, and I think an updo would have been cooler than a bob.

Another minor nitpick I have is that the bob makes her look slightly younger in my opinion, which is a common problem with short hair as it tends to emphasize the face. This is why if someone has a fairly round face, short hair can make them look younger. This especialy applies to anime as most figures tend to have round faces. However, I also want to mention that due to Blake’s unique, cat-like eye shape, this problem is not as prominent as it would be with other characters (like Yang).

Then again, Blake just went through an life-changing event (she murdered her former abuser and yes, I’m acknowledging it despite the fact that I really didn’t like the entire storyline, it felt like such a waste to me). So a haircut is definitely not out of place.

Back to black though...

This design doesn’t exactly lack the color, but it doesn’t bring it out that well either. The mostly white coat (which is ironically my favorite piece in this design) takes up much space in the design. It’s just... White is generally not considered a heavy color, but I’d say in this case it is. It is too heavy for a design with a primary color that is dark.

And with that, I’m jumping to...

The Penguin Coat 

I already said that the coat is my favorite piece in this design... Also, yes, I call it a penguin coat because it reminds me on cute little penguins for some reason... So props to the coat for reminding me on cute little penguins I guess. May I mention that this actually fits with the fact that the main characters are in a rather cold climate in RWBY Volume 7? You know, since most penguin species live in cold climates... But let’s move on from the penguins.

The flaps are likely a callback to Blake’s original design, which had those funny flaps that reminded a bit of classic illusionist outfits - it also reminds me personally on some of Zatanna’s outfits (from DC Comics). And guess what, this actually makes a lot of sense considering that Blake’s Semblance is essentially creating illusions (of herself).

Coats are also often used to make characters look more mysterious. The first use of this was in one of Akira Kurosawa’s movies, which are considered some of the most influental of all time and you should definitely go watch some of these because they’re awesome. Two other popular franchises using long coats for mysterious characters are The Matrix (with Switch wearing a white coat like Blake does) and Kingdom Hearts. So it is fitting for a character like Blake.

I know a lot of people do not like Blake wearing white coats. However, I disagree. First of all, Blake has ties with the White Fang (yes, the story arc was dropped but just because it was it doesn’t mean it never existed) and second of all, they are in a snowy area. Meaning that the coat has the same color as the environment. So it makes sense, at least it does to me.

A detail I really, really love is the black patch on the back of the coat, specifically because it creates the illusion that Blake is moving differently than she actually does. While this makes things a bit harder for the viewer indeed, it fits Blake’s theme of an illusionist / ninja crossover really, really well.

All of this being said, it should not be left unmentioned that logically spoken a coat like this restricts your mobility. Especially the flaps are constantly going to be in the way. Which is why I think that the flaps could honestly have been shorter (which would possibly have taken away the “long coat” element though). I think there isn’t really a “better” or “worse” here, so this is a very minor nitpick.

All of this being said, giving Blake a coat is not a bad idea to be honest. It protects her from the cold, it is commonly used to add some element of mystery to a character’s design and the flaps are not only a callback to Blake’s original outfit, but also a clever nod to her illusion powers.

That being said... Let’s move on to the two longest and silmoutanously most annoying sections of this post. Yes, we’re finally moving on to the worst, yet most interesting, elements about this design!

The Belts

First of all, the collar belt is absolutely unnecessary and no, we didn’t need a reference to Yang’s tryhard Mistral outfit here, at least in my opinion.

The backpack belts aren’t bothering me to be honest. They don’t feel disrupting and even though they obviously don’t have a function as well (because no, this is not how you tighten backpack straps), they add some nice detail to the straps and most of all: they are part of an element of this outfit, not a standalone element.

Let’s move on to the hip belt. That is actually a belt a really like, because it holds those pouches while fulfilling a decorative function at the same time. The belt hangs loose on Blake’s hips, which looks good (especially with Blake’s hourglass-shaped body) and contrasts the rest of her more skin-tight outfit. I also really like the idea of Blake having some sort of Batbelt (you know, the equipment belts the Bat Family usually wears in the DC comics), especially because she is a ninja / illusionist. Both usually have a lot of equipment (compared to other fighters / performers) in real life. My only nitpick would be that the belt hanging loosely on her hips could get in the way during fighting - but then again, it also looks really cool, so 9/10.

But now, let’s finally address my biggest belt issue in this design: the wristbelts.

I just don’t see a (reasonable) function with these – in fact, they are the most impractical thing about this design in my opinion – and they don’t even look cool. They just... I think they look weird, uncomfortable and just really out of place.

Some could argue that they have protection purposes. However, I am going to debunk that quickly because in fact, wearing something like that is actually very dangerous in combat. You see, belts usually have a buckle, right? Same with Blake’s wristbelts. Belt buckles are hard – if somebody hits the buckle in battle, her wrist could easily break from that

And yes, I know there is aura. However, aura can’t fix the fact that the belts are so broad that they limit Blake’s ability to move her wrists – which is important for someone who fights with swords and swings around with a ribbon a lot.

I also want to add that character designs should ideally work without the viewer knowing about in-universe logic (like aura). Simply because our brain is automatically, whether we know in-universe logic or not, going to assume that the logic applying to the design is the same logic that applies to our everyday life. Therefore, any element that doesn’t make at least some sense with real-world logic applied will feel weird, even if the viewer starts thinking about a justification with in-universe logic (which they have to do actively, while the real-worl logic assumption happens unconsciously and automatically).

It should also be mentioned that wristbelts as a concept per se aren’t automatically bad – there are instances in which they can work. Now, before I get into this, something needs to be brought up again: the CRWBY (meaning the people behind RWBY) borrows a lot of concepts from anime and video games, JRPGs in particular. However, they usually do so without understanding what makes those concepts work in the original. There is a great video by hbomberguy on YouTube that explains this in detail (I recommend the section Anime Homework in particular if you don’t want to watch a 2-hour-long video essay).

With the new character designs for RWBY Volume 7, a lot of people (including myself) have noticed that the concepts the show seems to be borrowing this time are concepts that are often found in Tetsuya Nomura’s character designs, particularly the Kingdom Hearts ones. Heck, a lot of people have pointed out that Nora Valkyrie’s new dress reminds them on Kairi’s dress from Kingdom Hearts II and Jaune got nicknamed Jauntus / Jaunxas for his new haircut (which reminded several people on Ventus and Roxas from the Kingdom Hearts franchise).

Saying that Nomura’s character designs might have inspired RWBY’s character designs isn’t a far stretch either: the new designs for the four main girls were designed by Ein Lee, who was known for her Kingdom Hearts fanart back in the day, before she started working on RWBY. So we know that she definitely knows this series and has, to some extent, analyzed the character designs - because she has drawn these characters herself. And even though blogpost by Kerry Shawcross about the redesign process confirms that Ein Lee wasn’t the only one in charge with those character designs, she was still the one who did the main bulk of work when it came to the new designs of the four main girls.

Let me clarify this: I don’t think that it’s an inheritly bad thing to take inspiration from something. Heck, Kingdom Hearts itself takes a lot of inspiration from other media! So the plain borrowing of concepts is not the problem here in my opinion. The problem is that the CRWBY obviously don’t understand what makes the concepts they’re borrowing work in the original.

Whenever you take inspiration from something, especially when borrowing concepts – like the concept of wristbelts in this example – , you should always, always make sure to understand those concepts and what makes them work at least to some extent. And while I believe that it is not possible to understand a concept or an idea to 100% – except for the person who originally came up with it – it is possible to get a good enough understanding to make the same concept work in another place. Does it have to work in the exact same way? No, and it likely won’t because if you re-use an existing concept, you’ll likely add your own ideas to it. That’s the interesting thing about inspiration (and also any kind of fanwork by the way).

So yeah, taking inspiration isn’t forbidden, even when it is so obvious where you got it from that the entire FNDM starts joking about Tetsuya Nomura having invaded RT (which... Quite honestly, I find that joke funny). However, when taking inspiration, you should also be aware that if two things are very similar, whether that’s intended or not, people are going to compare, whether you like it or not.

That being said – let’s compare, shall we?

So, here we have the character design of Sora (for those of you who don’t know Kingdom Hearts, he is the protagonist of the series and fights with a sword-like weapon, similar do how Blake does) from Kingdom Hearts III, and next to it, a 3D render of Blake in her Atlas character design from RWBY Volume 8. I picked a 3D render because I feel like it is fairer and Volume 8 gave us updated models for pretty much every single character (which was absolutely necessary because nobody looked good in Volume 7). I mean... They fixed Blake’s terrible hair halfway through Volume 7, which is something they usually don’t do, because so many people rightfully complained about it. Anyways...

Now, I don’t know what you think, but I have to say that with Sora’s wristbelts many of the problems with Blake’s wristbelts do not exist or are not as prominent. One of them is that in this case, the belts do not lack a function: I can immediately see what they’re for.

Sora wears those rather loose bracers in KH3 (which make sense since he fights with what is essentially a sword). The bracers are loose because Sora is rather scrawny and the bracers make him appear a little broader than he actually is. This is important for silhouette purposes since without the bracers, Sora’s silhouette would look fairly similar to the silhouette of another character in the same game – not absolutely undistinguishable, but this still makes it a bit easier to differentiate between the two characters.

Back to the wristbelts though: without these, the bracers would eventually fall off or constantly be in the wrong place. It should also be mentioned that Sora’s wristbelts are not even half as wide as Blake’s are, meaning that they don’t restrict the movement of his wrists as much as Blake’s do.

On top of all this functional stuff, they add a nice spot of yellow to the bracers, which not only does make the bracers look more interesting, but serves two purposes:

Designwise: the only other place where you have yellow are Sora’s shoes. If it weren’t for the wristbelts, the addition of the color would seem very random – and if there wasn’t any yellow, the design would look way more boring. However, there is another reason for the yellow.

Gameplay: Kingdom Hearts III is an Action RPG and Sora is the protagonist. Meaning that he is the playable character for most of the game. Since it’s an Action RPG, it involves fighting, which can be really chaotic. That’s where the yellow comes into play: you need to know the position of Sora’s hands and feet in order to have precise control. Yellow is a signal color (meaning that it is very bright) and the yellow Sora wears is also very saturated, meaning that it is unlikely that it appears anywhere else in a frame (even though it’s Kingdom Hearts and thus really colorful).

And yes, Blake’s wristbelts could indeed have a similar function. However, I personally feel that it doesn’t work since black is her primary color, meaning your eye is not immediately drawn to her wrists (even though the belts are a contrast against the white of Blake’s coat). Black also isn’t a signal color, so if that is what they were going for, they should have gone for an electric purple, a bright red or yellow instead.

For fairness’ sake, here is a nitpick about Sora’s wristbelts as well: the placement of the belt buckles. Because the way they are placed, the are an additional risk for injury. While replacing the wristbelt with velcro would certainly be the best option in regards to safety here, I also acknowledge that a wristbelt simply looks a bit better. That being said, to minimize the risk of injury, the buckle should be placed on the inside of the arm, next to the palm. That’s the spot where it is the least likely to get hit and cause (or worsen) an injury.

Blake’s wristbelts have the same dangerous buckle placement (which doesn’t make this any better) and are, as I have already said, pretty much non-functional. They’re unnecessary, obstructing and the only reason why they are there is because someone thought it would look cool (which... No, it doesn’t, it just looks weird).

And before someone says something about Blake’s wristbelts holding the sleeves of her coat together when the sleeve zippers are opened: why are the sleeve zippers even open? They’re at Atlas. It’s supposed to be freezingly cold! Why does she have her sleeve zippers open? It makes absolutely no sense!

The Zippers

Speaking of the zippers: why are there so many zippers in the first place?

Again, most of those zippers are not functional. Somewhat of an exception is the long zipper on Blake’s coat, which... Ein Lee herself has admitted that she shouldn’t have designed it to go all the way down because the coat is not meant to be zipped all the way down (Ein Lee, seriously... What were you thinking designing this?). So it’s basically only half-functional.

What is worst about this is that the one zipper that should be there – a front zipper for the catsuit – is not there. In other words: Ein Lee should have swapped the long coat zipper for a longer chest zipper on the catsuit. Yes, there might be a back zipper hidden underneath the coat for Blake to get out of the catsuit. But imagine the pain of opening a back zipper every time you want to pee. Which I can tell you is a pain, even if you’re more flexible than me. Therefore, a chest zipper would be way more practical (and there are ways to prevent it from accidentally zipping open, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

The rest clearly don’t serve the purpose of getting in and out of the catsuit or coat. The only purpose they could theoretically serve is ventilation.

Let me stress this: Atlas and Mantle are located on Solitas, a continent that is essentially the North Pole. It is really cold (according to Weiss in RWBY Volume 7 Chapter 3: Ace Operatives the cold of Solitas can kill you in a matter of hours without protection or aura). Even with moving around a lot, ventilation is not needed, especially not with outfits like these. I mean... They don’t look very warm to be honest. If there were thick jackets, fur and just more stuff that implies that these clothes are easy to overheat in, then yes, we could discuss about ventilation zippers. But like this? No. At least not with me.

And I’m not going to discuss aura now because of the stuff about real-world logic I already explained in the section about the belts. Also, quite frankly, aura as a concept is a mess of its own and another thing the writers can’t seem to keep consitant, but: if aura can protect you from extreme cold, shouldn’t it be able to protect you from overheating as well? Shouldn’t you rather wear warm clothing because if you run out of aura, you’re going to freeze if you don’t? It won’t hurt you because as long as your aura is up, you’re not going to overheat.

So yeah. Even with in-universe logic applied, there is no point why there should be so many zippers. The risk of overheating is technically nonexistent, so you can’t use “they’re fighting all the time, they could overheat if their clothing is too warm” as an argument.

That leaves the option that the zippers are meant to be a decorative element. Now, I will say that this can work - however, it doesn’t work in this case for multiple reasons.

First of all, if they are purely decorative, then why are the sleeve zippers open all the way? That implies a function, which, as I have established, is nonexistent because no ventilation is needed with and without in-universe logic applied. That leaves the sleeve zippers to be unnecessary because they fulfill neither a decorative nor a functional function within the character design.

Secondly, the zippers, especially the leg zippers, are obstructing Blake’s movements – again. Yeah, we already had this with the wristbelts. Logically spoken, a skin-tight catsuit like Blake is wearing needs to have a lot of stretch in order for the wearer to move properly, especially in the leg area. However, a zipper doesn’t have stretch, it’s static. And because it has to be sewn into the fabric, it also affects the fabric’s stretch. If you want to see how, I suggest taking your favorite pair of ideally skinny jeans (since those usually have some stretch) and trying to stretch the fabric around the zipper area. And keep in mind that those denim fabrics only have a fraction of the stretch that a catsuit usually has!

Third, and this kinda goes in line with the first reason, the zippers are not visually misappropriated. This might be a bit of a weird one to understand, so let me show you two designs in which decorative zippers are used, one being yet another character design by Tetsuya Nomura and the other being Blake’s original character design.

In both designs, the decorative zippers are visually misappropriated. What I mean by this is that while the zippers are there and might even work in the intended way (opening and closing a piece of clothing), they are placed in a way that makes it very clear that the zipper is not intended to function in the way zippers usually function.

In case of the left design (which is Kairi’s design in KH2) that means the decorative zippers are placed upside down. Now, that doesn’t mean that they are completely unfunctional (meaning that they might be unzippable). However, zippers are usually placed the other way around, except for sleeve zippers – which makes our brain assume that the zippers might not function in the way zippers usually do.

In Blake’s original design, visual misappropriation is handled a bit differently: the sliders aren’t visible (they’re covered up by the flaps of her vest), which also makes out brain assume that the zippers might not work. Again, there is no way to ensure that they truly don’t, but our brain will assume it.

What makes the lack of visual misappropriation worse in the case of Blake’s V7 outfit is that there are unzipped zippers (the ones on the sleeves) which look exactly the same as the other zippers. This implies to our brain that yes, all the zippers are functional.

Now, this is also the case with the KH2 design of Kairi. However, due to that tiny detail that is the visual misappropriation of turning the decorative zippers upside down, our brain will not assume that the decorative zippers are functional. In fact, it’s the other way around: due to the one non-upside down zipper being slightly opened (implying to our brain that it is functional), it contrasts the fully zipped... I can’t say up, so zipped down decorative zippers. And this is actually a great example on how much impact such tiny details can have.

Last but not least, the leg zippers are visually disruptive. Not only because absolutely no one would place zippers on catsuit legs like that, but also because they draw your eyes somewhere your eyes are not meant to be drawn to (which is an overall problem with the V7 designs to be honest).

Now, someone pointed out on a podcast that the zippers help follow the movement of Blake’s legs. But let me ask one question about that (that was also thrown in in the podcast by the way): why does it have to be a zipper then? It could be a simple seam! Or the next thing I’m going to discuss, which are...

The Kneepads

Not going to lie, many people including myself seemed to be really confused about those because from the artwork alone it wasn’t clear whether Blake is wearing boots or kneepads. Fortunately we know from the Concept Art that those are meant to be kneepads now.

That makes my main question about those kneepads: why are they black? Seriously, why are those kneepads black?! And why are they the exact same shade (because yes guys, there are actually shades and tones of black as well) as the catsuit? I really don’t understand why they did this, because usually Ein Lee and the RT designers seem to have more of a tendency to never put the same color next to each other when they create a divide in a character design. So just... Why didn’t you do it there?

As I said, the kneepads could also serve as as visual indicator for Blake’s leg movement - without disrupting the entire design. As I said, by “different color” I mean a different tone of black (maybe a bit brighter than the catsuit is), they don’t have to be signal red, white or yellow. Yes, that joke was intended.

And that marks my transition to the final thing that bothered me about Blake’s new look. I already said I’m going to talk about it earlier, so now let’s finally get an answer to the question:

What’s the deal with Gambol Shroud?

First of all, I have to praise Blake’s backpack. I didn’t want to put this into a separate section because I literally have nothing else to say than “I love it because I think it fits the thought that Blake, being a ninja / illusionist needs lots of equipment and I LOVE the fact that it doubles as a way for her to carry Gambol Shroud around!”

That being said, my happiness about how Gambol Shroud is being handled in Volume 7 ends exactly there.

As you remember (or you don’t if you didn’t watch RWBY Volume 6 Chapter 12: Seeing Red), Gambol Shroud was cut in two pieces by Adam. When this happened, a large portion of the FNDM including myself were incredibly exited for Gambol Shroud’s upgrade. In fact, my exitement for the upgrade even overshadowed my distaste for this particular scene which I am not going to include because there is a lot of blood involved.

Summary of what happened: CRWBY deliberately had an anti-violence character murder someone who was unarmed, portrayed it as a heroic action and then never talked about it again despite the fact that this event should have traumatized both of the characters that were involved into this. Which... I just want to say that even though Adam allegedly abused Blake, which was never officially confirmed by the way, it is not okay. Murdering Adam out of self-defense? Sure, that would have been an interesting new arc for both Blake and Yang. However, this wasn’t self-defense and as I stated before, it was never talked about again, so there goes the story potential. But anyways...

The exitement for the upgrade in relation to this scene overshadowed my disdain for it for a very particular reason: I believed that it might be foreshadowing to Blake wielding not only one but two dagger-like weapons in the future.

Unfortunately, this turned out to be false and all we got instead was this:

Yes... They simply fixed the blade with yellow superglue... Which is not only incredibly uncreative and lazy in my opinion, but it’s also highly unrealistic: the blade is bade of metal. Once it is broken, even a fix with superglue won’t make it last long before it breaks again.

I think that turning Gambol Shroud into two daggers, maybe connected by the ribbon, would have been a better route to go. And if you still wanted that catana (because this joke is fun), you could always design it in a way that Blake can connect those daggers to get a full katana again. It would also allow for her to still use the catmerang and the pistol as well as the ribbon and the sheath.

I also think that Blake wielding daggers rather than a full katana would contribute to her ninja image. It’s way easier to sneak a knife or a dagger into some place than it is to smuggle a sword in there. Which is why historical assassins nearly exclusively used dagger variations – including the historical ninjas or shinobi.

Finally, it would have given Blake the chance to evolve her fighting style. At this point, Blake has fallen far behind with what she can do in comparison with her teammates and this is partly because the CRWBY seems to be mostly clueless about what to do with her, leading to Blake swinging around in combat most of the time. A whole new weapon type could be a fresh start for creativity with Blake. And yes, this is me talking in good faith because we all know that RT wants to save money and that is a huge part of the reason why every character’s moveset, including Blake’s, has become so incredibly boring.

Conclusion

Dear RoosterTeeth! Please fire the person with an unhealthy obsession with way too many belts and zippers in character designs before the FNDM makes even more jokes about Tetsuya Nomura having invaded your company. They were funny in the beginning, but they’re getting old. Thank you!

And now for the real conclusion...

Blake’s new design has a lot of problems, but almost all of them come from the same source: a lack of understanding for what makes the concepts the design uses work. This goes from concepts borrowed from other media (belts and zippers) to the concept of Blake as a character overall.

Furthermore, parts of the design (especially Gambol Shroud) show a lack of creativity and an overall lazyness. I mean, why put thought into how to avoid a void (ha, the pun!) in your character design or use a creative way to fill said void when you can just add a useless accessoiry?

Let’s get concrete. Here is what should be fixed in my opinion in order to make this a better character design:

Less zippers! The leg zippers and sleeve zippers can easily go completely. The front zipper of the catsuit should be longer than it currently is. And if you really want additional jacket zippers, then make them so it are clearly pocket or ventilation zippers (meaning that they don’t go all the way down to the hem – also, don’t have skin showing underneath if that is the case).

No wristbelts! For the reason I stated above. The other belts can stay, even though I am admittedly not much of a fan of the collar belt. I’d also say to tighten the hip belt a bit because the way it hangs loosely on her hips right now, it’s going to be a nuisance at best.

Make it look warmer! With fluffy parts or just anything that doesn’t look like plain, thin fabric. They’re at the north pole and I don’t care about aura, a character design has to make sense without knowing in-universe logic.

No heels! Yes, not even wedges. They are a nightmare to walk long distances in, let alone fight. Even the show itself acknowledged this in Volume 2, so time to apply this knowledge – after eight seasons of having characters who do a lot of acrobatic stuff run around in heels.

Give Blake gloves! It’s cold and quite honestly? I love to give infiltrator / ninja / spy characters gloves. Simply because you don’t want to leave fingerprints anywhere, do you? So gloves would be a win-win.

Do something different with Gambol Shroud! I don’t care what it is – dual daggers would honestly be cool, but who knows, someone else might have an even better idea than that! I’m open to anything, as long as it’s something different, and not just the superglue solution we got in canon.

Those are the major issues in my opinion. Fixing them wouldn’t exactly make this my favorite character design ever – honestly, if I was the character designer for RWBY, I’d do the entire outfit completely different. But I’m not and I’m not going to design an alternative because honestly? I’d rather save the ideas I have for alternative Blake outfits for OCs or characters from other media that I actually care about. As I stated before, I have a love-hate relationship with RWBY and I’m not particularly fond of the way things are being handled in the show as of late (*cough* the fact that they absolutely had to show Oscar being tortured *cough* That’s not dark, that’s just tasteless in my opinion, especially when so much other important stuff gets ignored for something like this).

Anyways, if the issues above were fixed, then the design would at least make sense to me and I think I could even say I like it – because all in all, this is a bad design in my opinion. The issue is just that while this design comes with some good ideas any concepts, it doesn’t execute them very well (which is the issue with RWBY a lot of the time).

Anyways, that was my mustard on the topic. I apologize for any language mistakes since this posting wasn’t beta’d and English is not my first language. Thank you so much for reading, especially if you got through this entire thing.

[dreamingofscully]

6x18. “Milagro” - X-Files Rewatch

Lots of analysis below. So much to unpack with this episode. An EXTREMELY significant episode for Scully related to her feelings about and relationship with Mulder. This analysis goes into more depth in general, rather than a stream-of-consciousness observational post like my others tend to be.

Also, fanfic! I have a post-ep that I’d love y’all to check out that I wrote a while back in attempt to explain what happened with Scully in-between Milagro and The Unnatural.

Bated Breath (AO3), rated G, 2198 words M/S UST, Post-episode (Milagro) Mulder drives Scully home from the hospital.

Onwards for analysis and speculation.

The soundtrack for this episode is amazing. Love the beating heart that Mark Snow incorporated.

At the beginning, the symbolism of Padgett removing his own heart. It reflects the emptiness of his heart, his incapability of having love, but the burning passion he believes he is capable of, with which he pursues Scully.

At Padgett’s stare, Scully is creeped out, but she is also curious. That someone would look at her so boldly and with such obvious lust, when she’s tried to think of herself as separate from such things for so long. 

Padgett wills things to happen, using his writing as a tool, a FOCUS, to channel his powers. He manifests things - the psychic surgeon (representing Padgett’s dark side), the lightbulbs not working, etcetera. He uses his creepy stalker insight to profile how people will act, then writes about it, but he can’t alter emotions, only manifest what is already there. (If he could make people think and do whatever he wanted, he wouldn’t have given up so easily when he recognized Scully’s love for Mulder.)

Mulder and Scully sitting close on his couch.

Padgett suggests that Scully sticks to science and facts because otherwise she’d be viewed as weak and soft. Perhaps this is partly true for other people, but NOT for Mulder. Padgett doesn’t know her history, what she’s afraid of, the real reason she’s kept herself from believing for so long. However, Scully IS influenced by Padgett here - she stands up for herself (makes herself tough instead of soft) when Mulder makes her schedule for her and goes off to do her own investigation.

The burning heart tale that Padgett tells Scully: “Christ came to Margaret Mary his heart so inflamed with love that it was no longer able to contain its burning flames of charity. Margaret Mary... so filled with divine love herself, asked the Lord to take her heart... and so he did placing it alongside his until it burned with the flames of his passion. Then he restored it to Margaret Mary sealing her wound with the touch of his blessed hand.”

He wants to reenact this story with her, not realizing that her heart already belongs to another.

As Padgett tells Scully intimate details of her life it makes her incredibly uncomfortable. She’s an intensely private person, only lets in a few people. But here is some stranger who seems to KNOW her. How did she not know she was being watched? What other things does he know? It would bother her from a professional point of view as well as a personal one.

That someone thinks of her this way - a purely physical attraction rather than something cerebral and mutually respectful like she has with Mulder - it unsettles her. But his influence makes her more aware of her desires, the feelings she’s walled away for so long and hasn’t let herself acknowledge.

The conversation between Mulder and Scully in the autopsy bay is very interesting. Scully is VERY OPEN about what just happened between her and Padgett, something that is pretty unusual for her. She admits to being frightened, she tells him that this creepy guy knows “too much information and intimate detail”, and then openly challenges Mulder to do something about it. Scully KNOWS what Mulder will do.

Mulder’s uncomfortable almost-smile when she tells him. How fucking real is that. I don’t know about you guys but I find myself smiling at the most inappropriate circumstances, so this hits home for me. (Thank you DD.)

Mulder and Padgett try to intimidate each other in the elevator. Don’t fucking mess with Scully! Mulder’s brooding walk down the hallway. 🔥 🔥 🔥

The love scene. Padgett writes what he wants to be true. He can influence the thoughts of others but cannot control them like Modell - only an encouragement in a particular direction, a manifestation of emotions already present. Scully’s disgust and fear is tempered by her curiosity of the strange and mysterious neighbour, which is why she ends up at his apartment. Padgett misinterprets her intellectual interest as romantic in nature.

“Loneliness is a choice.”

The implication: she can choose, at any time, to NOT be lonely. That she knows she’s lonely. What’s holding her back? This season was SHIT for Mulder and Scully’s relationship, but an undercurrent for her throughout the years she’s been his partner - fear. She’s scared to take that last step, to have him know all of her. For fear of death, of losing him. Being alone is safe.

Padgett talking to her like she’s an object, something to serve his writing rather than someone with a CHOICE. Another thing that reveals the emptiness of his heart.

The fantasy that Padgett has about Scully is meant to happen after she enters his apartment. The mugs in the fantasy are the same ones they drink coffee from, and in the fantasy they are still steaming hot. The lamp doesn’t light because it is off in the dream (another example of his ability to affect the physical but not the emotional).

I love the symbolism of Scully looking out the window in Padgett’s bedroom. She’d see something similar out of Mulder’s apartment, just slightly different. But enough to make a difference. She feels desire, she has love in her heart, but only for Mulder. Padgett can never be a replacement, no matter how many words he writes.

Padgett believes they are headed to the bed, to the love scene he described in his writing. I don’t think it would happen even if Mulder hadn’t interrupted them. Regardless, Mulder is a wild card - he didn’t account for him to burst through the door, didn’t write about him, so Mulder can act independently, outside of the story.

Mulder’s jealousy at seeing Scully there with Padgett. He’s tense, tearing through his pages, heedless of the destruction he’s causing, handles Padgett roughly. Mulder manifests his frustration as aggression, and this time it’s extremely personal. From now on the interactions that Mulder has with Padgett are filled with tension. You can see that Mulder just wants to fucking MESS with this guy. Part jealousy, part protectiveness.

Padgett’s assertion that the characters choose the writers. Does he believe that Scully chose him? That the psychic surgeon isn’t merely a manifestation of the evil and emptiness in his own heart?

In the jail cell, Mulder moves forward to intimidate Padgett but Scully’s touch instantly pulls him back. This is Padgett’s first glimpse at the connection between Scully and Mulder. Up until now he’s only been observing Scully by herself, and listening to them talk in Mulder’s apartment. Now, though, he realizes in their FIRST INTERACTION in front of him, that she is in love with him. All the things that he’s seen regarding Scully’s interest in him have been misinterpretations.

Mulder confronts Scully in the hallway about her part in the book. Just a note that Padgett watches their interaction here as well, confirming his initial thoughts about Scully’s love for Mulder. I think he’d also realize Mulder loves her back, but in Padgett’s mind, who wouldn’t?

“You know you're in here, don't you?” - Mulder “I read a chapter. What does he say?” - Scully “Well, let's just say it ends with you doing the naked pretzel with "the stranger" on a bed in an unfurnished fourth floor apartment. (pause) I'm assuming that's a priori, too?” - Mulder “I think you know me better than that, Mulder.” - Scully

Mulder’s look while biting his bottom lip. Scully’s licking her lips here, too. Hnnng.  🔥 🔥 🔥

After realizing Scully can’t love him, Padgett writes this: “Grief squeezed at her eggshell heart like it might break into a thousand pieces its contents running like broken promises into the hollow places his love used to fill.”

A parallel to how Padgett is feeling himself. Or “thinks” its how he should feel, if he had a heart.

Mulder and Scully standing close at the graveyard. Scully touches his back when getting him to back off from the suspect.

Their argument - taking opposite sides.

Scully is compelled to feel less negative about Padgett, and doesn’t feel he is capable of murder, he’s just strange and mysterious. Also, she wants to believe that it’s just an innocent attraction. (Please PLEASE let someone normal be attracted to her for once!)

AGENT SCULLY IS ALREADY IN LOVE. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Padgett is looking DIRECTLY at Mulder when he says this. Afterwards, Mulder takes a quick look at Scully, who has a very vulnerable expression on her face and does NOT look at him.

Padgett’s statement makes Scully’s feelings REAL - they are something that EXISTS in the world. She can no longer deny it, push it away. Also, the fact that Mulder is RIGHT THERE, that he KNOWS, too.

Things can’t go back to normal, especially after the ending of the episode. I don’t think Scully wants them to. I think she chooses not to be lonely.

Padgett starts writing and talking to Naciamento/his dark self. His subconscious knows what story needs to be told. He needs to steal Scully’s heart to place it next to his, to have her in death if he can’t have her in life. This is the ending that only makes sense for this story - he wrote it to have her fall in love with him, for them to be together, but now it’s impossible.

Padgett’s comment that Scully has been “trying to get his attention”. Through her interest in Padgett? This is possibly a misinterpretation, but it also might be something she’d do, though subconsciously. In my headcanon, Scully’s been trying to get Mulder’s attention for fucking YEARS, so perhaps he is correct. She wants Mulder to see her as someone with needs and desires, not just his partner.

They sit closely on Mulder’s couch for the surveillance. 

The difference between Scully on Padgett’s bed, and Scully on Mulder’s couch (bed). At Padgett’s, she’s sitting up straight, very uncomfortable, like she could leap up and aim her gun at his head if he tried anything strange. At Mulder’s side, she falls asleep because she’s so trusting and comfortable with him.

Padgett wants to prove he can love, so he uses whatever power he possesses to sacrifice himself and heal Scully. From the burning heart story: “he restored it to Margaret Mary sealing her wound with the touch of his blessed hand.”

Destroying the book and thus destroying his dark self isn’t enough. Scully is already hurt, bleeding everywhere. He also needs to heal Scully, and does this through his sacrifice. This is the reason I believe that Padgett’s powers come through himself, he doesn’t really need his typewriter or even a physical copy of his stories to manifest them, he just uses them as a crutch. Perhaps it was how he developed his powers - his insight into human nature through his writing.

When Mulder hears the gunshots, he rushes back to Scully. It’s interesting to think that Mulder nearly cost Scully her life. Her bullets may not have killed Naciamento, but they summoned Mulder, enabling Padgett to burn the book, sacrifice himself and thus save Scully. In essence, she saved herself despite Mulder’s innocent interference.

“A chance to give what he could not receive.”

Instead of killing her, Padgett decides to give her the gift of life and love. He knows she loves another, that her heart is full of love unlike his own empty heart. 

Scully’s breakdown.

She was about to die. It was the closest she’s come and in the most horrifying manner. Death is her greatest fear.

Being faced with something obviously supernatural (shooting Naciamento to no effect, being wounded then miraculously healed) would also make her confused and vulnerable - not being able to explain what happened and put it in a box.

The emotions she’s been trying desperately to repress have been brought to the surface this entire episode. 

More speculation/final thoughts:

This season has dealt with Scully’s fears quite a bit, but mostly with her inability to accept paranormal/unexplainable phenomena. She also holds another fear - death. And it’s consequence? She’s afraid to let people in, let them close. After her remission, she tried to take the chance - to let Mulder closer, to give her heart to Emily. When she’s burned by taking these chances, she buries her feelings again. She’s too scared to take another chance, and the tension between them lately has not been conducive to any sort of positive change in their relationship. The emotions brought to the surface in this episode come bursting forth at the end. Scully doesn’t try to hide them. She lets Mulder see her whole heart, her whole self - fears and all.

Through sharing her entire self with him, Scully’s changed. She can’t go back to pretending and hiding. Her fear about dying, about getting too close, doesn’t matter. I think that Scully’s lightness in the preceding episode (“The Unnatural”) shows how far she’s come.

She reveals her vulnerabilities to Mulder, her softness; his embrace of her as she lets her walls down is cathartic and freeing. Scully knows what she wants, and now her love is “out there”, a tangible thing that they are BOTH aware of. No more second-guessing, misinterpretations.

Later in season 7 (“all things”), when Scully has her breakthrough about her beliefs, she has a similar cathartic experience (her vision in the Buddhist temple). In this episode, her breakthrough is emotional and related to her feelings about Mulder instead of intellectual/spiritual and deeply personal.

I think this episode is where I diverge from much of the fandom in terms of its significance to the MSR and Scully. I don’t think they can go back from this (along with things that happen with Mulder in the next episode). I’ll talk about a few more things in my “The Unnatural” post. If you disagree, that’s fine, but… I just love the idea of them having more time together, and I like the way my theory works! <3

If you want to know more about what I think happened after this episode, I’d love it if you’d read my fic “Bated Breath”. I feel that it expresses my thoughts pretty well about what I thought Scully went through, and where Mulder was as well.

[lunarnirvana]

Lavender Moon

TRIGGER WARNINGS:

Please not read if these subjects upset or trigger you in any way. Heavy themes are present in my writing.

Descriptions of abduction, hospital setting, language, Vomiting, mentions of s*icide, non-consensual drug use, seizure, some descriptions involving gore, blood, injury, reader drugged, mentions of LSD and tripping, anxiety symptoms.

Prompt: Nicole’s Alphabet Angst for 8K - Occult

Summery: Reid and Reader are dating when a case involving the occult dredges up turmoil between the happy couple. The case being difficult enough, the resemblance between the Reader and the victims leaves Reid uneasy… (Full summary at bottom of writing so as not to spoil but if you’re worried about the content I’ll always add the full summary at the bottom! Stay safe)

Category: Angst with some fluff sprinkled here and there (Happy ending)

Word count: 7k

Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAU Female Reader

A/N: I hope saying this doesn’t discourage anyone from reading but this is my first imagine! I guess not that I’ve written, just posted. I’m kind of really nervous about putting this out there but why not? Also for future reference I write very intense and real things and I want this to be a safe place for everyone which is why I will try to be as thorough with my trigger warnings as humanly possible but if there is ever anything written that I did not warn you about before the writing I apologize and PLEASE let me know so I can make it a priority to include that warning in the future. Ty and tpwk <3 enjoy 

“No evil ever came from a woman’s womb that wasn’t placed there first by a man.”

― Charles A. Cornell

Her intuition never betrayed her.

It was lodged deep inside her throat, the swell of hesitation like a globule that obstructed any resourceful observations about the crime scene photos. The innate feeling that the case was destined for calamity. Y/N didn’t let the gravity of her work weigh on her mental state until she was in the comfort of her confides where she could lick her psychological scars in peace.

The entire BAU regarded their unspoken directive was to bottle any reaction to the happenstances of the case with little exception. As they congregated at the round table they’d bind their biases against their eyes with the blindfolds they used to avoid looking at the bodies for too long. If you stared for too long into those gaping gashes, the blackness of the cavernous body would consume you completely. This is what they all knew to be true and so they pursued beasts with scar tissue forming over their minds and volatile hands with stoic accuracy.

This accuracy was entirely derivative of their abilities to detach from the emotional aspects of the case.

Garcia was the exception to this jurisdiction, her back turned against the horrific gore on the screen yet she described the carnage as if she were looking at it. She threw in some embellishments and innuendos for certain aspects that were too nauseating to repeat.

“We’ve got a local case today. Linda Jefferson and Kayla Burnen were the first two victims of what local PD wrote off as a suicide pact at first,” Garcia explained, “After further inspection, though, they discovered an incredibly high, nearly lethal dosage of LSD in their blood.”

Reid spoke up beside her when he noticed something in the tox-analysis results, startling Y/N slightly, “It's not synthesized in the same manner, though. There are certain proteins missing that would make this particular substance would ensure an emergence phenomenon would happen regardless of the environment.”

He let his hand fall into his lap so his girlfriend could trace figure eights in his palm with the tip of her finger in some apologetic gesture for the trivial fright as he chided. They’d been together for a year now so he understood what comforted her and what didn’t.

“So you’re saying they took bad acid? Growing up in my generation I can vouch that I never felt compelled to shoot someone under the influence,” Rossi chuckled at his own shortcomings and garnered amusement from the team.

“Actually, I believe this particular form of LSD was tampered with to cause a bad trip. You’d either have to be an idiot to make LSD this way or…” Reid drifted off, letting someone else conclude what was already obvious to him.

“You’d have to do it on purpose. You can’t mess up that bad and it not be intentional,” Emily agreed, bobbing her head back and forth while the raven locks framing her elongated facade veiled around her expression.

“A few days after those two were found,” She flipped the slide, “Beth Myers and Lola Sanchez were found in the same area with the same exact M.O. No correlations to the first two victims or to each other.”

Reid felt the way Y/N’s finger swirled against his palm and traced the creases in his skin before flipping his hand over so she could run her soft touch across his veins and phalanges. She found his hands fascinating suddenly, more fascinating than the case. When Garcia flipped to the picture of the victims he felt a sudden pressure as Y/N locked her grip around his hand. She squeezed it for reassurance as the smiling women stared at them through the screen.

“The victims had blood-let themselves, were covered in melted wax from candles, were placed in white nightgowns, and were forced to finish one another off by stabbing each other in the chests,” Garcia winced as she recited the details.

Y/H/C, the texture of their hair, and resemblance with her was the aligning factor between the four and it made Y/N’s chest wrench at the thought of being drugged with such petrifying euphoric paranoia. She could tell her boyfriend noticed her reaction but didn’t bother to meet his concerned gaze. He just stared down at her avoidance in yearning for some communication although he rarely gave her that courtesy himself. He could tell she held reservations about the case, especially when they realized the unsub was following ritualistic patterns and protocols, the occultism sprinkled through the murders like decoration.

Reid never took holding her hand for granted but in this instance he swore he heard bones cracking. Y/N was comforted by the gesture but realized she was hurting him when she felt him begin to crumble under the pain beside her. She turned to him quickly and released her vice-grip.

“Sorry, sorry,” She whispered toward him, not wanting to disturb the briefing.

“Its fine, hun, but what’s wrong?” He pressed.

She shrugged and slouched back into her chair, sinking into the seat as if it would express her silence. She told herself it was just anxiety and eventually convinced herself it was her own self doubt causing her to have such a guttural feeling. She watched the clock for the rest of her shift before gathering her personal effects from the surface of her desk, sweeping the items into her bag. Reid watched her maneuver rather quickly to get her things together. Expecting her to wait for him like always, he bent down to grab his satchel but when he arose she was halfway to the elevators, shuffling through interns and her coworkers to leave.

He followed her down to the lobby before bringing it up.

“I can tell when something’s wrong with you, love. What is it?” His hand had fallen to the small of her back as they walked out of the east entrance together.

“It just freaks me out sometimes, you know? The whole occultism thing,” Her voice was suddenly softer than he remembered.

Typically, this disquieted nature was portrayed by him but she remained unnerved the entire walk down. Something churned in her stomach and converted her into a placid arrangement of unease. Y/N despised the corruption of any establishment but this particular subject hit her square in the chest.

He smiled down to her while they approached the rugged vehicle parked on the far end of the lot. “Occult-related homicides are a statistical anomaly. They’re highly uncommon, Y/N/N, you have nothing to be afraid of.”

She nodded as she pulled the keys to her car out and passed them to him, “Can you drive?”

“Of course but only if I can pick the playlist,” He smirked, snatching the jangling keyring from where it swang on her index finger.

“No way in hell,” She giggled, “I am not listening to Bach the whole way home.”

She slipped into her seat and immediately her leg began to bounce with disarm. She tried to steady it herself as she watched Reid bend down to face her before getting in.

“I was gonna put on Brahms for your information,” His slender body folded into the front seat and he turned the key over in the ignition. Noticing her shaking leg, he reached his arm across the center console to rest on her knee as he began pulling out. It soothed under his touch and he smirked knowing exactly how to ease her even with the slightest gestures.

The base of the lamp was a wicker configuration and it flooded the room with brilliant fiery luminescence, the walls suddenly painted a pastel yellow from the warm lighting emitted from their bedside table. Along with that, illuminating the neglected contours of the room were a few white candles that burned on Y/N’s wooden bureau. Wax congregated at the foot of the tall towers of flame and spilled over the sides of the candle holder onto the wood.

The encapsulating smell of Nag Champa incense shrouded the room blending with the wafting smoke streaming from the ember-littered sage Reid’s eclectic bedmate’s hands. Y/N watched the silver scarf dance above the end of the dried bundle as it swirled around the room. Her eyes followed the smoke, eyelashes veiling her sight giving her a dark allure that Reid couldn’t keep his eyes off of.

He didn’t mind that she liked to indulge in the holistic benefits of burning herbs or the countless books she had on witchcraft and the occult. He found it charming. Although he knew when she was upset she’d do these “cleansing rituals” which really did nothing more than make their room smell like a Grateful Dead concert. She never was discomforted by the fact the unsub was utilizing occultist beliefs, she was upset at the perversion of her practice.

Of course, he was sworn to secrecy against telling the team about her hobby. She knew she’d be teased into oblivion for such an unorthodox collection of semi-precious stone, herbs, and essential oils that she claimed assisted trivial offenses. That was the aspect of her avocation Reid disagreed with.

They’d debated about it before but both were keen on their bias and so they agreed to leave the subject as an unspoken rift and move forward. Reid still found the smell of the incense suffocating especially when his migraines trickled in. She’d slip rosemary and peppermint into his tea to help his chronic condition but whenever he would catch the taste he’d beg her not to use her ‘pseudoscience’s instruction’ on him. Each time they’d get into an argument about it but eventually it’d fizzle out in sniffing apologies and fond interactions generally ensued.

“You’re really going to town on the bad juju tonight, huh?” He spoke up from behind his book. It was always strange to hear his shift in nomenclature when he left work, his vocabulary becoming relaxed and casual. He practically bathed in her relaxing aura. He would describe her the same way she describes the effects of lavender when she tried to spray some on his pillow to help him sleep.

He told her he didn’t need it as long as she was sleeping next to him and that was the first night they shared a bed. He hadn’t left her apartment since.

“I have a bad feeling about this case, Spence. I’d like to clear the negative energy from the room,” She said, waving the burning bundle of dried sage around the bed.

“The creepy ass painting you bought from the farmer’s market is still on the wall so I don’t think it’s working,” Reid laughed. She shot him a small warning glare that resulted in the two of them collapsing into hysterics.

She plopped on the bed, clutching her stomach from laughing with him as the tightening delight in her stomach began to burn. Reid was cackling, trying to make out the words, “You looked like a disgruntled care bear.” She felt relief from the laughter when his hand coiled around her waist and tucked her against his chest for safe keeping. She felt his soft lips quiet his dissipating chuckles as they pressed against her forehead.

The sage was smouldering against an abalone shell beside the bed and Reid let Y/N burn the candles throughout the night despite his heedings that it was a fire hazard. It seemed to bring serenity to her and that’s all he was concerned with.

They remained entangled like chains in a jewelry box, Reid soon enveloping her in his grasp completely. He worried that the victims looked too similar to her as he struggled to fall asleep beside her but eventually, the rhythmic movement of her breathing against him brought him enough poise to sleep.

The case dragged out across a couple of weeks stretching resources and mindsets across the vast expanse of interrogation and interviews. They sharpened the victimology down to a finite point to dig into the unsub’s plans and wrench him away from his potential choices. They were delivering the profile to the police department when Y/N noticed Reid’s hand was now tightly gripping hers instead of their usual routine.

He held their hands behind them so the crowd wouldn’t see the unprofessionalism. As each new victim was discovered resembling the woman he woke up to every morning he began feeling that same tension she’d expressed. Now, as he heard the profile, it brought an agitation to his stomach. His grip was tight and unwavering and unlike hers it didn’t shake at all. It was like he was afraid if he let her go, the unsub would be lying in wait behind them to snatch her away.

“We believe he’s a male caucasian driving a blue Ford Crown Victoria which he uses to abduct the women,” Rossi began.

“His victims are aged twenty three to twenty eight and we think he’s in the same age bracket,” Hotch continued as the soft sound of scribbling followed.

“Combining that with the fact he can synthesize LSD into a more aggressive formula suggests we’re dealing with a highly intelligent unsub with an extensive knowledge in chemistry,” Reid said monotonously despite his conflict.

“This isn’t surprising. Psychopaths often have above average intelligence. Coupled that with trauma relating to a religious mother figure who was abusive in some respect. Either his biological mother or a foster parent,” JJ nodded through her portion, her dark ocean eyes striking every gaze in motherly vivacity.

Y/N sat up, “For some reason this unsub will not engage in the killing himself. He watches the two victims kill one another under the influence of drugs and instructs them on how to mutilate one another,” she suddenly felt Reid’s hand leave hers but remained focused on the expectant faces of the precinct, “His M.O. is consistent with occult sacrifices. It's a form of homicidal voyeurism that could represent his own impotency or may be a forensic countermeasure.”

Reid lurched forward, pushing himself off of the edge of the desk and excused himself politely as he walked back toward the bathrooms. Y/N turned over her shoulder to look, her eyebrows wrought with concern but Emily’s modulated voice leashed her back into delivering the profile.

“He’s been consistently choosing his victims to coincide with the seven deadly sins. First greed where the first two victims were taken from a casino then lust. The third and fourth victims were in an online BDSM chatting room when they were lured into a threesome with the unsub where he killed them. Because of this consistency in his signature, we’ve predicted his next choice is going to be Envy,” Emily explained.

“His target location is going to be an underground swingers club. Our team and some members of the force will be undercover as security for the club. You’re looking for anyone who might complain that they’ve been roofied or look for women who seem overly intoxicated,” Morgan informed.

Y/N leaned back into the table behind her while she quickly spoke, trying desperately to rush through the profile to check on her boyfriend, “So far he’s been following the major astrological events happening in the past month. Tomorrow night is a Harvest Moon and a partial solar eclipse which fits his preference. Excuse me.”

As soon as the sentence ended she was following Reid to the bathroom. She turned behind her to see the crowd still mesmerized by the team as they briefed them and took the opportunity to slip inside unnoticed. She knew Hotch and Morgan would pester the two of them about it later but she couldn’t help it. She saw the way his face shifted to a paled green hue and how he gripped his stomach as he pushed the swinging door open.

Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw his oxfords poking out of the stall and the sound of retching echoed in the bathroom. Y/N ran beside him and rubbed circles into his back, feeling tears well at her waterline and threaten to spill over. She blinked them away quickly to not upset him any more. Guilt wracked her chest.

“Shh, shh, it’s ok,” She soothed and crouched beside him in the stall so that she could rest her head on his shoulder blade. She watched her hand slide across the woven knit of his cardigan, smoothing the fibers down and continued to try and calm him. She could feel him sobbing dryly, his back arching with each heave. Eventually he felt it was safe to lean back against the far wall of the stall and face her.

The skin around his eyes puckered with irritation, shining with the tears that slipped from the corners. He closed them tightly, wrinkling his face in an agonized expression while Y/N leaned forward. She rested her hands on his knees that were awkwardly sprawled in different directions in the small confides of the stall. She sat between them, tucked into herself so as to not take up too much room.

“Talk to me, Spencer,” she pleaded.

He actually decided to, exhausted by the weight of the bodies that piled in the morgue and his quivering stomach. “I’m worried about you being on this case. I don’t want you to get,” he gagged on the rest of the sentence and vomited into the porcelain bowl again.

“Baby, please stop worrying about it so much,” she was begging now as tears began to haphazardly fall onto his back. He sat up at the sensation and resumed his previous position.

His horse voice came forward now as he tried to swallow the mucus that lined his throat now. “Promise me you won’t leave my side until this case is over, okay? Until the unsub is in custody,” He asked her through his darkly adorned eyes.

“I promise,” She assured and it brought a relief to his nausea, “I have mouthwash and ginger gum in my bag. I’m gonna text Morgan to come bring me it—“

“I can walk, honey. If you tell Morgan he’ll call me something like barf boy for a week,” he chuckled and began to sit up. His legs wobbled beneath him slightly but he caught himself on her shoulders. She gripped his elbows tightly.

“You’re dehydrated, come here,” She lead him to the sink where he could wash up and rinse the taste of bile from his tongue.

Pulsating basslines berated Reid’s chest making him feel like he was choking on the loud music. He despised clubs like these dipped in technicolor animosity and relishing in the electronic stimulation the club reverberated. Each member was stationed at certain points of the room such as beside exits, the landings of stairwells, and an agent at each corner. Y/N was beside the bar vehemently watching each drink poured and handed out, ensuring no hands slipped tabs into the liquor.

Hotch’s instruction was patched in through their earpieces.

“Blonde hair, black button up in the west corner of the bar by you, Y/L/N,” Reid heard and immediately his gaze shot toward her.

She was alerted and her sight honed in on the suspect. He was analyzing the body language of the woman before him who held similar semblance to Y/N. He waited patiently for her to let her guard down and look away from her drink and he was charming her into doing it.

The girl threw her head back in laughter and he saw his opportunity presented before him. Y/N watched his meticulous hands slip a small white tablet into the amber liquid of the girl’s glass. It dissolved into a discreet poison, lacing her glass with LSD.

Then he looked at Y/N and she felt his taunting stare desecrate her sanctity. She didn’t express it, though, her stoicism making him come to the conclusion she was a cop. His eyes widened and he grabbed the startled hands of the two women beside him, one seemingly more intoxicated than the other.

“Suspect is on the move with two friendlies, agent in pursuit.” Y/N’s voice was patched through and Reid watched her bolt after the unsub as she unholstered her gun.

“Wait,” he said through the earpiece, “Y/N, wait!”

She proceeded despite his protest and chased the unsub out of the building where he began loading the girls into his car. They obeyed, the trip settling in for at least one of them. He held a gun to the sober one’s back but Y/N in a flurry of indecision charged at the unsub.

“FBI! Stop or I’ll shoot!” She warned.

He drew his gun toward her but she shot his shoulder clean making his gun fly out of his hand. The man cried out, one hand falling on the gushing wound but he closed the door before the sober woman could get in, trapping her counterpart inside. He staggered toward the driver side and ducked into the car as she began to aim her gun at him again, threatening another offense.

Y/N reached out and pulled the girl from the skidding tires as he sped off before she could even process that the other girl was trapped inside. Once she did she began trying to shoot his tires out but to no avail. The girl was sobbing in her arms now, her tears bleeding through Y/N’s shirt that peaked out from above her Kevlar.

“You’re safe now, it’s okay,” she assured, “You’ve been drugged you need to be taken to a hospital,” Y/N said and almost as if on cue, Morgan could be heard behind her calling for a bus.

JJ came and took the sniffling victim from Y/N’s care allowing Reid to grab her shoulders and spin her around to face him. He inspected her facade for any damage but she brushed him off.

“I’m fine, Spence, but the other girl. We have to find her,” She grabbed his arm as he grabbed hers and they interlocked their forearms to reinforce some affection.

“You need to stop chasing after suspects with no backup. You’re being reckless and I’m taking you home, Y/N/N.” His voice was stern and she didn’t bother protesting from the way he looked at her.

Reid was fuming on the car ride home, the whites of his knuckles highlighted even in the darkness as he gripped the steering wheel. Y/N was curled against the passenger side door, wrapped in his sweater that she pulled taught around her frame.

“Can we please not fight when we get home?” He asked suddenly, voice breaking through the silence of the car, “I don’t want you to argue with me to go back into the field. This entire case has been so draining I just need you to understand seeing you do stuff like that— it kills me.”

“I know, Spence. Are you getting a headache?” She noticed him wince as someone passed with their high beams blazing. He groaned at the exposure, pinching the bridge of his nose and nodded.

She decided to make him some tea when they got home. Preparing the mug in the kitchen, she seeped the jasmine leaves and reached inside the cupboard for the mason jars she had filled with various dried herbs. Making the tea kept her mind occupied from the disrupting guilt she reserved for not saving the other girl. It was a guilt that clamped her arteries and made even the simplest tasks seem harrowing.

She put a pinch of dried rosemary and a drop or two of peppermint extract, stirring it in with some sugar. The sound of the metal spoon scraping the bottom of the glass brought her attention back to her task.

Her fingers coiled around the warm ceramic mug and she walked it carefully into the living room where Reid laid on the couch with a pillow pulled over his eyes. She took the hint and dimmed the lights but as she set down his tea he could already smell the additives.

Coupled with the headache, he’d never become genuinely upset over her affinity for the occult until now. He sat up with exasperation and picked it up, sniffing the steam to confirm his suspicions.

“Y/N, seriously?” He asked and looked up to her but his own voice made a piercing impact on his head.

“Seriously what?” She repeated defensively.

“You know what. I honestly can’t believe you. Especially after the case we just had,” he shook his head, laying back down.

“So you’re not even gonna drink it?” She asked, her face falling to an annoyed deadpan although he couldn’t see it.

“Jesus. No. I’m not. Can you just leave me alone for right now?” He asked finally.

A twinge of hurt stabbed her chest at the request and she took the mug as he pulled the pillow back over his face. In the darkness, he could see her pained expression etched into his vision. The shuffling in their bedroom intrigued him as well and he began to realize what he’d said. It blurred the agonizing migraine and caused him to sit up only moments later to apologize.

As he stared at the empty room he was startled by the sudden creek of their door from behind him. Looking over his shoulder, he only caught the tail end of her jacket as she walked out. A raucous slam followed making him wince at the sound.

I really screwed up.

Reid pushed through the shroud of pain emanating from the fluorescence of the room, reaching forward for his own coat. A ripping agony followed and he doubled over, burying his face in his palms so he wasn’t staring at the light. A groan tore through the empty apartment as he tried to rub the headache away so he could chase after her.

Following Y/N proved to be farcical in his condition and he leaned against the couch in defeat, praying she’d just step outside for some fresh air.

Y/N stomped down the street with a quivering chin like a small child, sobs tearing through any muscle or fiber holding the sound in. People on the street avoided her state awkwardly, their gazes falling to the concrete when she’d pass. Humiliation was wrought in her mannerisms but she didn’t care. He told her to leave him alone over tea. She knew his migraines were the culprit but she couldn’t stay cooped up inside. There was a girl being tortured somewhere and she was sitting at home making tea with her boyfriend? There was something unfair to her about the situation.

She heard her phone trill a few times but ignored the noise, fleeing toward a local park down the street. She decidedly plopped down in the jagged blades of grass, kicking the shoes she threw on to the side so that she could feel the ground beneath her. She wanted to be as close to the ground as humanly possible to calm herself.

Every time she’d begin to soothe her cries her phone would ring bringing another wave of distraught. Through her tears, the world was a blur of velvet indigos distrusted suddenly by a dark shadow looming over her. She gasped in reaction but that’s all he gave her time to do before she felt his hand grab her head and pull her up by her jaw, his large gloved hands covering her entire face.

His fingers were sprawled apart so she could see herself being dragged away. Something bitter slipped onto her tongue and she tried to spit it out but the unsub locked her jaw shut to force the drug to work through her system. She tried to scream but with each muffled shrill he’d tighten his grip. Her teeth involuntarily grit against each other from the force and she screamed against her lips for help.

Y/N thrashed around as much as she could before she felt a pinprick in her right arm. Then the world shifted to a darker blue until her vision was gone completely.

Waking up in a wooded field sanctioned off from society’s wandering earshot, she felt the zip tie’s digging into her ankles and wrists. The skin had swelled around the bindings, causing excruciating pain whenever she’d move. She could feel her lip bleeding from being split by someone’s fists. Suddenly, a face fell before hers and began to cut the zip ties. Why was he cutting her loose?

“Good morning, sleepy head. You… you really messed my night up, you know that?” The man asked, his hand falling to her cheek.

Instead of skin she felt the smooth sensation of latex against her. The medicinal smell filled her nostrils and she closed her eyes, pretending she was in the hospital with Spencer there instead of him.

“How…” she found it harder to speak than normal, “How did I do that?”

“Clara. I had Clara picked out. She was the perfect one but you were jealous of her. You wanted me all to yourself. Envy is a sin,” his words were venomous.

He couldn’t have been much older than her, sand colored locks that fell in soft tufts around his face. He looked like a renaissance painting with a wicked possession, his blue eyes complimented by the crimson of his bloodshot waterline. When he smirked at her his face shifted from an archangel to that of a demon, waiting to consume her whole.

Then, she noticed the shifting movement beside her. The other victim was tied up beside her and groaned as she awoke. In the darkness even, Y/N could see the girl’s pupils were dilated. She suddenly began screaming and thrashing around violently, kicking at the open air as if there were a second offender in front of her.

“Hey, hey! It’s okay, there’s nothing there!” Y/N tried but the girl couldn’t hear her, only the muffled calls of her hallucinations.

“Darcy, I need you to shut the fuck up sweetie,” the unsub grimaced.

She quieted down almost immediately but still shook in fear at whatever she was seeing before her.

Y/N turned back to the man in front of her, “Let her go. You don’t want her, you want me.”

“On the contrary, I want both of you,” he seemed coherent enough but was still clearly suffering a psychotic break. Psychopaths usually hid those breaks well.

“Why?” Y/N’s gaze suddenly shot straight through his, “You’re afraid if you touch us you’ll be infected with our sin?”

She made a move to spit in his face and he jumped back, yelling and wiping his face harshly with his sleeve. “You filthy bitch! My father will love you,” a smile etched across his face.

“Your father? Where’s your father?” She looked around for a partner but no one could be seen.

“The destroyer of souls of men. He bears the torch, the herald of dawn,” He spoke in his cryptic tongue but Y/N remembered Reid reciting certain portions of the Bible and poetry regarding Lucifer.

“Your father is the devil, right? Lucifer?” She asked.

He suddenly slapped her, the latex making the blow sting that much worse. Blood trickled from her teeth down her hanging lip but she sat back up despite the pain.

“My mom used to bathe me in bleach. She cleansed me of my sins. She’d scrub the chemicals into my back and say ‘Your daddy’s the devil.’” He seemed to find some inner turmoil with his logic but continued to quote his mother in a southern accent, “‘Your daddy is satan and you were born into this world as an abomination.’”

The M.O. and signature began to align with his claims, a severe case of germaphobia which rendered him unable to carry out the murders himself. He lets his victims do it for him.

As he spoke she watched his face begin to shift and swirl into a much eviler expression. His lips coiled into a smile, his eyes narrowing into black slits and his nose sunk into his skull. He began taking the form of a horrifying wraith, horns practically splintering out of his forehead. The trees began to sway and dance despite the lack of wind and the stars in the sky melted into glowing stalagmites that threatened her toward the ground.

Everything began to distort and she felt herself descend into horror. The acid was taking effect and as the girl’s blood curdling shrieks erupted beside her she began to put her head between her knees and sob. He rubbed her hair, sighing.

“Even the warriors must crumble. You’ll bow to my god,” he stood and suddenly tangled a fistful of hair into his hands, yanking her up along with Darcy.

Shrieking as the pain visualized before her in petrifying hallucinations she was positioned before the screaming girl. The unsub instructed Darcy to take the dagger from his hand and stab Y/N. She refused, shaking her head.

“It’s ok,” Y/N assured even as the trip progressed, “It’s ok. Just do what he says, I promise it’s ok.”

Darcy bawled as she hesitantly took the dagger. She walked toward Y/N and slowly drove the knife right beside her hip bone. She groaned, her hand falling forward onto Darcy’s shoulder. “Fuck,” she moaned as the squelching sound echoed through her head.

She keeled over the agony, wrapping her arms around herself. It was harrowing to have to pressurize a wound on oneself she found. Even the slightest touch against her cut felt like she was being stabbed repeatedly. She felt the cool tip of the Unsub’s gun push her up by her shoulder. That was when she realized only one of his hands were in use. The other one was still inflicted with the gunshot she fired. If she weren’t so high she would have used that to her advantage.

With the pain came even more disillusionment. She looked down at her palms and suddenly a bloodied dagger was grasped in them. “No, no, no,” she whispered.

Darcy pleaded for Y/N not to stab her and the agent had no intention of carrying out the Unsub’s fantasy.

“Kill me yourself you coward,” she spat, “I’m not hurting her.”

“I didn’t think you’d be persuaded that easily,” suddenly a gunshot cracked through the soundscape. It rang in Y/N’s ears causing her to buckle over in pain. Nothing seemed real. Her chest felt like it would tear open at any second, freeing her palpitating heart from it’s confides.

She watched the girl’s body fall limply before her and screamed out, racing to her side. The more she looked at the corpse the worse the gore progressed. Eventually, she was staring at a demon.

“FBI! Kye Alderwood, put your hands up!” Reid’s booming voice came from across the field. When she turned to look at him, though, he wasn’t himself.

He was taller, probably eight feet tall, and his body was stretched and elongated into a bony configuration. His face twisted and melted into a horrifying facade and he charged at her. His hands were giant daggers waiting to rip into her. She didn’t see the unsub aim his gun toward her but heard another shot fired. Suddenly, another demonic corpse laid beside her.

She couldn’t fathom grabbing the gun from the unsub’s vapid hands but there she was snatching the glock from the grass it was enveloped in. She didn’t comprehend that her boyfriend was in front of her. What she was seeing was a nightmare unfolding before her. The delusions were real. It was all real.

Reid stumbled back when he saw the gun pointed at him. He thought it was a mistake but when he saw her eyes he knew she wasn’t seeing him. Her paranoia was evident as she hyperventilated and her entire frame trembled, barely able to stand. Swaying back and forth and she wept he felt himself grow sick at the sight.

“Y/N! Put the gun down, honey, it’s just me,” he pleaded.

A sob broke through her voice, “Get away from me!”

“It’s Spencer, baby,” Now he was crying, terrified she’d pull the trigger. In any other circumstance this situation would have diffused by now but the LSD in her system turned her completely hysterical.

“Leave me alone!” The words being reflected back to him just wretched his heart further.

He wasn’t even pointing his own weapon at her anymore. He stopped pointing it at her the second he recognized her. Now it was pointed askew, the barrel facing the grass beside him. Neither of them could have aimed a gun at one another in the right mindset where she didn’t reside for the time being.

Seemingly, her psychosis seemed to penetrate any affection they shared. Beads of sweat formed on her skin as she held the gun steadily toward his frame. He knew if she shot him it’d be a kill shot. She had the best aim on the team.

“Please, baby, I love you so much. Just put the gun down I won’t hurt you,” Reid persisted through it as he heard reinforcements file in behind him. He spun around, waving Morgan, Hotch, and Emily away.

“Don’t come any closer! She’s drugged, she can’t help it and I swear to God if you shoot her I’ll resign!” He warned the other agents who heeded his warning despite the alarming display before them. They still kept their guns aimed at their teammate in allegiance to the judicial implications.

Y/N’s trip began to peak, the world around her becoming unrecognizable in the heap of apparitions that surrounded her. She screamed as misshapen, flesh colored bats charged down at her, flying toward her and swatted them away.

Reid watched her pushing and swatting away imaginary attackers and took the opportunity to run toward her. She screamed and thrashed around in his arms, clawing his skin and kicking at his legs behind her.

Everything looked like bloody flesh. Every blade of grass felt like rusty nails driven through her feet. She felt like she was coiled in the death grip of an anaconda.

“Stop! Stop! You’re gonna hurt yourself!” He tightened his grip on her and used one leg to pin both of hers against his other one. She was completely entangled in him again and the familiarity of his cologne instantly calmed her, he thought. As fell completely limp, relief deluged his psyche only to be matched with her sudden convulsions.

She slipped into a violent seizure, shaking and jarring her body as he lowered her onto the ground and to her side. Hotch and Emily fell beside him and he watched blood seep from her nose and mix with the medley of blood on her lips. He was whimpering as he tried to relax her muscles and barking orders to the others surrounding him. Eventually, her shaking form was taken by the EMTS who were already on the scene. He stood in the wake of the scene, bodies strewn about him wondering what she saw him as that terrified her so.

She was treated for an overdose in the hospital and as Reid entered her room he saw her small figure curled up on the hospital bed. He felt his heart shatter for the hundredth time that night as he floated toward her like a ghost. Placing his hand on her arm, she jumped suddenly startling him as well. He didn’t expect her to be awake so soon. if

“Jesus,” he breathed out, clutching his chest.

She flipped over to face him and couldn’t help but smile at his reaction. “Dork,” she said hoarsely. The way her inflection cracked made him frown in response.

“I don’t even,” he struggled to find the right words, “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re sorry? I tried to kill you, Spencer,” she began to recollect the happenstances, “I could have killed you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know it’s going to be hard for us to get back to normal.”

“You had ten times a normal recreational dose of LSD in your system. That wasn’t you,” he assured.

She nodded softly and scooted back, patting the vacant place beside her on the hospital bed.

“I can’t. I don’t want to hurt you,” as the sentence stumbled out of his mouth he couldn’t help but start crying again.

He was surprised he didn’t bawl himself into dehydration on the way to the hospital. She reached up and grabbed his wrist, leading him down to her where he crawled beside her.

Cupping his face in her hands she felt the sticky coagulation of tears that caked his face. Pulling him toward her, their lips locked and worked against one another before completely enveloping one another in devotion.

Pulling away she caught his glassy irises with hers, “You could never hurt me. Not really,” she replied.

“But I did. I told you to leave me alone and you left and had to go through…” he decided not to bring up the trauma.

She couldn’t remember the trip itself, only what she did during it. He didn’t want to bring it up and trigger an acid flashback.

“I left because I was hurt, yeah, but you didn’t hurt me. I felt so guilty about leaving Clara with the unsub that I thought making you that tea would help me feel better. We should have just stayed in the field, maybe we could have caught him before he killed anyone,” she sighed.

Reid nodded and kissed the tip of her nose, then her forehead, then peppered the rest of her face with the same affection.

She ran her fingers over the skin on his arm and felt raised scar tissue in her wake. Looking down, bruises and scars were freckles across the pale vastness of his arm. She choked back, her hand falling to her lips.

“Did I do this to you?” She asked, her eyes glued to the cuts now.

He craved for her relief so he shook his head. “I don’t remember where I got them but it wasn’t because of you,” He lied. Realistically, she’d clawed and cut his arms until she began seizing. The cocktail of drugs in her system left him a stranger to her while she was high.

She nodded, “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“There’s no way we could have known. I need you to not blame yourself for this because if you do I won’t be able to live with myself. This wasn’t anyone’s fault,” he snaked his arms around her waist carefully, avoiding her bandages.

“I know, I know,” she sighed and nestled into the crook of his neck, “I promise I won’t make you anymore occultist migraine tea.”

He pulled his chin from resting at the top of her head to look at her. He suddenly cupped her cheeks now and made sure she understood.

“Please, never stop making me migraine tea again,” he said before pulling her into a kiss again.

FULL SUMMARY:

Reid and Reader are dating when a case involving the occult dredges up turmoil between the happy couple. The case being difficult enough, the resemblance between the Reader and the victims leaves Reid uneasy. After Reader disrupts the Unsub’s routine she becomes a target. After Reid fights with the Reader because of a migraine, she is taken hostage by unsub and is drugged with LSD and nearly shoots Spencer while tripping.

[iwachans-beefyarms]

i know this is kinda really detailed and specific idea for a scenario so i hope that this is okay! it turns out tsuki is only really good at english because he kept his english penpal from primary school and they talk everyday and ft and she surprises him by turning up before the shiratorizawa match!! just some fluffy platonic feels please maybe she goes out with the team for dinner afterwards too? 💕💕💖

Omg, I really love this scenario! I’ve had my fair share of penpals so I was really excited to write this (: I remember having an Italian penpal 2 years ago and interacting with her inspired me to learn Italian on my own because she would often give me amazing Italian book recommendations hehe (I might have gone a bit overboard when writing about Tsukki training for the match lmao)

BTW for those interested, the quote from the beginning is from Donna Tartt’s ‘The Secret History’! It’s one of my favourite books of all time and it’s what made me start learning Latin, highly recommend it to all of you! Also, I love writing about platonic friendships soooo much so if any of you would like to request similar things in the future, please do!

Note*** Reader will be speaking to the team in Japanese, which will be indicated by bolded words

Okay, I’ll stop talking now, enjoy!

“I had said goodbye to her once before, but it took everything I had to say goodbye to her then, again, for the last time, like poor Orpheus turning for a last backwards glance at the ghost of his only love and in the same heartbeat losing her forever: hinc iliac lacrimae, hence those tears.”

Tsukishima sighed and put the book down. Pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose, he leaned back and closed his eyes. It was a bittersweet feeling he often experienced when nearing the end of a compelling novel. This particular one, especially, had had him completely enamored. He almost felt wistful when he realised he was almost done with it.

He opened the book back up and carefully highlighted the phrase “Orpheus turning for a last backward glance”, making a mental note to look up the reference. It sounded like a literary allusion to a Greek myth of some sort, but he had to check to be sure. He glanced at his phone and opened his e-mail to type a quick message to you.

“I am almost done with this book… Honestly, what a ride! I can’t even bring myself to finish it because of how attached I am. I learnt so many new phrases and literary allusions too! I’m seriously considering reading all the pieces of work the author had referenced throughout the novel haha. But, it’s gonna have to wait until after my volleyball season ends because we have finals coming up soon… Anyway, talk to you later! BTW, how did you enjoy the poetry collection I sent you?”

He signed off as he usually did, packed his things up and left for after-school volleyball practice. He couldn’t help but feel that today was a particularly lovely day. When Yamaguchi approached him and draped his arm around his shoulder, he welcomed his friend’s affectionate gesture with a genuine smile of his own.

“Wow, that’s a big smile! Did something good happen?” Yamaguchi questioned curiously. He glanced down at Tsukkishima’s hands and noticed the book he was holding.

“Ah! Y/n’s book huh? Is it any good?” He asked, excitedly grabbing it from his friend and flipping through the pages. His eager expression morphed into one of complete confusion as he squinted his eyes at the flurry of words before him. “How do you even read this? It’s so hard…” He blurted out.

“Tsk, you just don’t have enough practice, dumbass,” Tsukkishima retorted jokingly. It was true, though, what he said. His regular emails to and from you since his primary school days had greatly improved his English linguistic skills. Even more so, it had made him more knowledgeable in the art of writing and analysis. Everytime he got a comment on his essays about his exceptional way with words, he would silently thank your influence in his head. It was quite ironic that Tsukishima, someone who found it immensely difficult to forge meaningful relationships with those around him, would have shared such a close friendship with a girl living on the other side of the world, but such was life.

As the highly anticipated match against Shiratorizawa loomed closer, Tsukishima’s mind drifted from you and the book he had yet to finish. His heart, soul and entire being was devoted to his team. While he greatly appreciated the daily messages of encouragement you graced him with every morning, he simply did not have the time to respond properly. For now, all that mattered was volleyball.

He trained everyday, much like his teammates. Where once he would have scoffed at the level of fervor he demonstrated in his journey towards becoming the best player he could be, he now relished in the passion that flooded him everytime he held the ball between his hands, or when he jumped in tandem with his teammates to form a block. He would be prepared for Shiratorizawa, for Ushijima Wakatoshi, and for whatever force that dared to reckon with him.

That was what he told himself before the match, repeating it in his heart like a mantra, with the hopes that the belief would materialise in the court. And, that was exactly what his teammates and he did. They won. They actually won. Tsukishima never viewed himself as a sadistic person, but dear God, the look of defeat in the faces of his opponents sent him to a high he had never experienced before. It wasn’t that he was glad they lost; they were decently nice people. It was that they had won; a game that, by all expectations, should have been lost. He was euphoric. In that moment, amidst the chaos surrounding him and the cheers resounding through the stadium, he felt an immense wave of love rush over him. Love for his sport, his opponents, and most importantly, his team; his family outside of his family.

After the match, as the team made their way out of the locker rooms, he let himself bask in the triumph of their victory as his friends cheered boisterously. Suddenly, he caught the eyes of a very familiar face approaching him with a slight jog. His eyes widened. Impossible.

“Tsukki!” You wrapped your arms around his neck. He didn’t hesitate to engulf you in a hug of equal intensity. It was either the excitement of winning, or the shock from seeing you in front of him that made him so easily reciprocate your affection, but at that moment he didn’t care.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, incredulously, ignoring the gawking stares of his team. “My parents wanted to go to Japan for the holidays, and of course I had to come see you at your big match! You were amazing! I mean, Amazing, with a capital A!” you rambled off excitedly. Tsukishima almost let you continue your enthusiastic rant but he was interrupted by Daichi’s hesitant tap to his back. He cleared his throat and announced, “Everyone, this is Y/n, my good friend from Y/c.”

“Hello everyone! It is so wonderful to meet all of you! Tsukki has said so much about you that I feel like I know all of you already,” you addressed them, bowing slightly. Your nervous blush made Tsukki smile softly to himself. Immediately, you were attacked with questions.

“How does Tsukishima know such a pretty girl?”

“Where are you from? Are you here on holiday? How do you know Japanese?”

“Do you play volleyball?”

You did your absolute best to answer all their questions, and in the process, gave the team a brief summary of your friendship with Tsukishima. Yamaguchi, in particular, was wonderfully excited to make your acquaintance. Eventually, the boys and their managers invited you to have dinner with them. You graciously took their offer and left the stadium with them.

The evening was filled with laughter and jubilation. Everybody was still riding the high from their win, and spent dinner reminiscing moments during the match, and of course, talking about Tsukishima and his pretty friend. Stories about his childhood self, his emo-phase and, for a brief tw months, k-pop phase, were shared by Yamaguchi and yourself. Usually, Tsukishima would have been incredibly annoyed at being the object of a joke, but tonight, he settled for a half-hearted shove to Yamaguchi’s shoulder and a teasing comment. “At least I pulled it off… Not like your cosplay phase, remember?” Cue another round of hearty laughter.

As he watched you and his team bond, he sat back and gently rubbed his chest. His heart felt so full at the moment, and although he knew it wouldn’t last, he cherished the feeling and took a mental picture of the scene in front of him. He leaned towards your ear and whispered, “Thank you so much for coming, it meant a lot.” You squeeze his arm gently and replied, “That’s what friends are for, Tsukki!”

[eien-no-gakusha]

A Don’s Entourage

Continuation of my discussion of the Don Juan “trilogy” of sister shows.  Please go [here] for analysis of the titular characters.

In addressing the supporting cast, there was a tradeoff between the complexity of Don Giovanni and the rest of the cast in later iterations.  Where the titular character was simplified in later adaptations, the other characters were further developed from mere victims to entire ethical dilemmas.  Unlike Don Giovanni being cleanly split to his essence in his successors, the supporting cast did not reincarnate so smoothly.  Some changed names, some changed roles, some were split, some were combined, and some were made up from thin air.

The True Love

(Ugh, good musumeyaku pictures are so hard to find…at least Yuki was a Top)

These characters were musical only inventions to drive their respective plots.  Maria (Irodori Michiru and Marie-Eve Janvier) is Don Juan’s curse, enchanted by the Ghost to fall in love with him and instigate the duel with her fiancé that will kill him.  Beatrice (Senna Ayase) is Casanova’s destined better half and it is her plight that drives Casanova to action.

Maria is a strong, independent woman who wants to pursue a career over submitting to her own gender roles as wife and mother.  She’s reluctant about marriage and giving up her passion of sculpting, which is more strongly stressed in the Takarazuka version.  Yet due to supernatural intervention of the Ghost she loses all agency and changes completely to brainwashed lover.  (Seriously, what happened to you Maria!?)  Like the other citizens, she adores the Grand Master and is honored to carve his memorial but his ghost just uses her to exact his revenge.  She ends the show heartbroken and her own fate and reputation uncertain having lost her scoundrel lover very publicly to her violent fiancé.

I feel there was a lot of wasted potential with Maria’s character.  She is only used as a plot device and has a very basic and unnaturally written arc.  If it weren’t for the stronger presence of the Ghost in the musical, her emotional journey would not make sense from someone who condemns Don Juan for murder to his lover.  Their romance is also incredibly weak without the bad voodoo.  Takarazuka tries to resolve this by portraying Maria as a woman ahead of her time and changing the order of Raphael’s scenes.  Problem is Don Juan himself doesn’t address why she is different, he’s just smitten at first sight a la Disney.  If it weren’t for the constant references to the curse and the dark tone, the romance of the “special” girl would have fallen apart.  But Maria starts as an interesting character and the romance could have greatly improved with a few small tweaks.  Her independence should have been used to greater effect, being career oriented and therefore not as suspectable to Don Juan’s advances.  This would intrigue him and force him to know her as a person in an extended courtship.  Thus their romance would provide greater contrast to the Don’s usual conquests and make a more impactful tragedy.

Beatrice is also an independent and educated woman keen on making a career in politics and pursuing a fulfilling, adventurous life.  Like Maria, Beatrice is also confronted by societal expectations to make an advantageous marriage and be content in her role.  But she wants to engage in Venice as a politician alongside her uncle the Doge.  However, unlike Maria, she takes a life of her own.  Arguably, she is the true protagonist of Casanova the musical with the titular character supporting her story.  She is important in Casanova’s transition from youth to mature man, transforming him from a swashbuckling lover of many to a man dedicated to one and ready to settle down from his risky adventures.  However, her hero’s journey is the main story.  She starts off as a sheltered girl straight from a convent but after various trials she grows into an affirmative statesman who can lead Venice.  Casanova serves as her mentor and friend throughout her trials and she is rewarded for her responsible sacrifice to rebuild Venice with his sole affection.  I must applaud Senna Ayase’s attention to detail and nuanced acting to bring such a subtle character to life with the material she was given.  Truly a splendid finale performance for her Takarazuka career!

As mentioned earlier, Don Giovanni does not sport stand-out lover as his character is multi-faceted enough to stand on his own.  While his character may suffer in succeeding iterations, that did make room to create more compelling female characters and refresh this tale as old as time.

[tyrantisterror]

TT Liveblogs Evangelion Masterpost & Final Thoughts

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Final Thoughts after the cut!

By reputation, I had a strong feeling that Evangelion was not going to be my kind of story, and now that I’ve seen it I can say that both kind of is and kind of isn’t the case.  The character writing is incredibly strong (even if I feel End of Evangelion has a few major wobbles), its approach to its cosmic horror conflict and uncanny monsters is incredibly interesting, the animation is gorgeous, and the plot is compelling.  It’s way more tragic than I usually prefer my stories of this length to be, but I feel it earns that tragedy and has a point to it.  At the very least, it ranks among works like Heart of Darkness and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which I respect for their artistry even if I struggle to stomach their content.  I would say it’s objectively great, even if subjectively it doesn’t always suit my personal tastes as far as stories go.

Given the two endings Evangelion (both the original show’s last episodes and the alternate ending offered by End of Evangelion) has both explore the idea of there being different realities than the one we’ve watched, I almost wonder if my discontent is a feature rather than a flaw.  I feel like Evangelion invites you to consider the possibility of this story going very different ways - if we’re supposed to leave it longing for a better version of these events, like a player hoping there’s a new game plus after watching the depressing ending of a JRPG.

 As a person who’s struggled with self loathing his entire life, this series spoke to me in its analysis of that particular psychological problem.  As the final episodes of the show take great pains to make clear, this is a show about how we understand and define ourselves in the context of others, and the myriad reasons why our self definitions can become toxic and hateful.  Hating oneself should, after all, be rather counter-intuitive, so why are we prone to it?

Evangelion posits that it comes down to the Hedgehog’s Dilemma - this (probably not biologically accurate) idea that hedgehogs want to huddle together for warmth when it’s cold, but can’t because their spikes will stab each other if they do.  They need their spikes for defense, of course, but those same spikes can also hurt people trying to help them, and thus the hedgehogs suffer alone in the cold.  Every character in this show - human and, I would argue, angel alike - is this allegorical hedgehog: they crave warmth and affection, but are kept lonely and cold by the defenses they deem necessary.  The problem isn’t just that they’re denied warmth by others, but that they also fear hurting others in the process of seeking that closeness - that they are both helpless and incapable of helping those they wish to protect.

Every character in this show has different spikes, and every character is desperately hoping that someone will reach out and understand them despite their defenses, or that maybe, just maybe, if they reach out to someone they won’t end up stabbing them in the process.  That’s the real crux of this two-fold problem: people hate themselves both because they have been denied both love and the act of giving love to others in turn, all while knowing deep down that they are the reason they have these damn spikes in the first place.

And yes, I extend this to the monsters as well.  While most of the angels in this series are destructive and openly antagonistic , three actually try to communicate with humanity in their “attacks.”  The first two are unsuccessful because the humans are incapable of understanding them, but the third actually manages to speak humanity’s language.  He expresses regret at the fact that angels and humans can’t coexist, and even urges Shinji to destroy him because it’s the only way Shinji can live - and the angel, despite knowing it means his death, prefers the idea of Shinji surviving their conflict.  While we ultimately don’t learn enough about the angels to say anything concrete about their motives, the glimpse that Kaworu gives into their psyche paints them in a similarly depressing light as humanity.  They lash out with their figurative (and sometimes literal) spikes not because they hate humanity, but because they believe they have no option.  They can’t have warmth.  There is only the path of spikes, the act of violence.  Whether they want to or not, only one can survive.  They have succumbed to the bleakness of the hedgehog’s dilemma.

I love the ending of the show because it focuses on its psychological problem which, ultimately, is the true conflict of the story, and examines it in depth with all the main characters, and especially Shinji (which makes sense, as his psycholgical state is the most detailed and well developed of the entire cast).  In the final episode, Shinji finds the solution to the hedgehog’s dilemma that no one else was brave enough to come to.  He realizes that, yes, it is impossible to interact with others without both getting hurt and hurting others in turn - that he can’t get rid of his spikes, nor can anyone else get rid of theirs.  But as much as he hates the pain he’ll both experience and inflict, he realizes that he has the courage to try to reach out anyway - that though he may hate himself now, he might be able to love himself as he loves others, and that being imperfect doesn’t mean he’s worthless.  Despite all the pain and the guilt, despite the prick of the spikes, Shinji decides to keep trying to find the warmth that he and those around him need, because if they all keep trying together they can find it.

Evangelion ends with Shinji, surrounded by his peers, determined to recover.  He refuses to be destroyed by his depression.  He refuses to die in the cold, and everyone is there with him when he does.  It’s not an incongruous moment - for all the angst that people tend to define this show by, there are always moments, small but notable, impactful moments, where they come together.  Few people on this show are beyond saving, and in at least one ending - esoteric and weird as it is - they have that chance.

I’m less keen on End of Evangelion as an alternate ending.  Where the original show gave Shinji that moment of recovery, End of Evangelion seems deadset on destroying him and every other character in the show as utterly as possible.  Shinji gives in to his absolute worst impulses in this movie, and every other character is similarly destroyed by their faults - Misato tries her hardest but fails to ultimately protect Shinji from doom, Rei is used as a tool for someone else’s designs without ever truly understanding what they are or claiming her own independence, Asuka dies trying and failing to prove her worth as a warrior, and on and on it goes.  The most iconic scene of the film is scored with a song whose lyrics are a suicide note, which is fitting for a movie about depressed characters succumbing to their worst impulses and being destroyed for it.  Though Shinji once again gets to survive the end of the world and create something new from the ashes, it’s not uplifting as it was in the show - instead, with only Asuka by his side (who he then tries to strangle), he slumps down into a puddle of self misery.  The last word he hears isn’t “congratulations” this time around - it’s “disgusting.”

I’m not saying this is a wrong ending, or an objectively bad one.  You could argue this is just as much where the story might have been heading as the show’s ending - or even that it’s more congruous, that this was always going to be a story about failure and self destruction, and that any hope these characters could have for a better life could only be achieved by fucking with the nature of their reality on a fundamental level.  Objectively, End of Evangelion is valid.  But for my personal tastes... I liked those kernels of hope.  I’ll take Congratulations over Digusting.  I want these kids to heal.

One final bit: a common thing I’ve heard about this series is that the allusions to Abrahamic religion and folklore are purely aesthetic and have no actual deeper meaning, and having watched the series I think this is at best an over-simplification and at worst completely wrong.  Like most allusions in literature, I don’t think they work as a direct 1:1 comparisons - Adam in Evangelion is not literally the same as Adam in the Bible, Angels in Evangelion are not literally the same as in the Bible, etc.  But there’s still a lot of meaning behind how these Biblical references are used that can’t be mere coincidence.  For example, towards the end of the series it’s revealed that human being are actually half angel (or rather the spawn of a different angelic being than the angels in canon, it’s a bit more complicated than this but let’s simplify it for the sake of making this intelligible), which is why the “pure” angels are trying to wipe us out.  In the book of Enoch, a fairly obscure non-canonical Biblical text, some rebel angels come to earth and crossbreed with humanity, creating the nephilim, a race of half human/half angels.  Enoch posits that this is the specific crime that makes God destroy the earth in a flood.  Now, how does End of Evangelion end?  With humanity being destroyed and the earth flooded with their liquid remains, save for one surviving pair that is composed of one boy and one girl.  It’s not a 1:1 allusion, but it would be one HELL of a coincidence that this story is so similar to an obscure non-canonical Biblical work.

And if we do accept the allusions as having some meaning, they actually work with the show’s themes fairly well.  The Book of Enoch’s whole purpose is to explain why God hated humanity enough to destroy it, and the feeling that a higher, cosmic power hates us for some inexplicable reason is at the core of Evangelion.  Evangelion’s whole purpose is to find an answer for why we hate and destroy ourselves, and how we, like Noah, might find a way to save ourselves from this seemingly inevitable flood of doom.  Making an allusion to another stories that try to explain that - not just the Book of Enoch, but to similar Biblical stories about the origin and nature of humanity’s sin and God’s scorn, like the Genesis tale of Adam and Eve (or, as Evangelion substitutes, Adam and his semi-canonical first wife, Lilith) - is inherently meaningful.  It’s on topic, and in the context of these allusions we get a clearer view of what Evangelion is trying to say about human nature.  It’s not necessarily a Christian story, but its allusions to Abrahamic religion aren’t devoid of meaning.

[bellabooks]

The Lesbian, Bi and Queer Year in Television 2017: Love, bravery, and found family

2017, if you ask me, has been an absolute toothbrush of a year: cleaning out the toxic plaque, bloodying the gums a little in the process, and hopefully leaving us with a minty fresh start to 2018. Optimism, in the face of that exhaustion which December almost always dredges up, is a tough sell. Personally, I find it helpful to take a look backward, to find something productive if not inspirational to stand on in the past twelve months — something to arm yourself with, essentially, as the calendar turns over and the seasons begin anew. Though media remains, by most accounts, leaps and bounds behind where we’d all like it to be in terms of representation, there are some occasions in which the stars align between the creator’s vision and the viewer’s hunger, and characters have an impact larger than could be predicted. The 100’s Clexa, for example, along with Wynonna Earp’s WayHaught, and Supergirl’s Sanvers — all characters and couples subject to their own individual issues and idiosyncrasies, and yet have left lasting marks on the current state of queer women television fandoms, inspiring fans to show up in droves at conventions and signings. Sanvers, in particular, seems to have left its mark on 2017 as the ship to discuss, even if (like me) you’re a season behind.   HONORABLE MENTION: ALEX DANVERS OF SUPERGIRL Coming out stories have become a staple for lesbian, bi and queer character introduction, and variation on them is rare — Alex Danvers stands apart, in company with One Day at a Time’s Elena Alvarez in its focus on family. Where Alex Danvers is concerned, we’re given the epitome of the late bloomer that tugs itself away from stereotypes and corrects for them — soft and cautious at first, pulled out of her shell by an unforeseeable, intense connection, exploring a world not just new to her, but finally the right fit after purported years of her character struggling to understand the more intimate relationships in her life (or lack thereof). Alex, and her subsequent relationship with Maggie, has undoubtedly meant so much to so many. Bold, then, that they should separate — but in a world where the buried gay trope is, ironically, alive and well, a parting centered not on fatality but on future plans is unfortunately refreshing. A little haphazard, a little slapped together in its reasoning, but the decision to have Alex hold strong on something evidently so important to her is respectable. In the way that we watch straight main characters on shows run through seasons of love interests and deal with the aftermath, it’s just as refreshing to have an opportunity to see how Alex grows into herself as the series continues.   Looking back on my watchlist from 2017, I can track four distinct characters (and their respective relationships, romantic and otherwise) that struck a real chord with me this year. I’ve tried to focus on characters from brand new shows, with one exception, as the story arc snuck in pretty much under the wire and absolutely blew me away. Tying the year together with a neat knot is impossible, but if I had to pin it down, the discussion of family, when we find our own and when we let them go, seems to sum it up pretty well. -cue Seasons of Love- SPRING: DEVON OF I LOVE DICK I Love Dick is a show that (at least in my corner of the internet) went largely unnoticed. Its story is a mess of threads, a triangle that’s not really a triangle so much as it is a Venn diagram of desire and insecurity, and Devon is little more than a B story to that plot. But her cool, collected search for artistry in a town that traps her as much as it inspires her, creates the foundation for an amazing character. We see it in her backstory, in the show’s fifth episode, “A Short History of Weird Girls”, where the three main female characters tell a brief history of their lives and their artistic journey. Devon walks us through her battle for identity, her unwillingness to conform to gender stereotypes, and the college girlfriend who left her heartbroken when she was unwilling to jump wholeheartedly into a relationship. Devon ends up dropping out of school, moving back to her hometown, and getting a job fixing other people’s problems. It’s when Devon opens up and begins mingling with the artists gathered in Marfa that she begins to let go of her control a little. She may not agree with a person’s methods of self-expression, but defends to the point of arrest their right to do it, as we see when she defends the borderline drifter girl she’s seeing, Toby. Toby, an incredible character in her own right, is an artist who finds artistic, aesthetic beauty in the shapes and colors of hardcore porn. Their scenes together are electric, their relationship intense, full of conflict and the tossing of social and sexual norms — but Devon’s possessive attitudes drive a wedge between them, in a scene that makes the jilted jock stereotype of someone so fervently attempting to reject such banality. There seems to be a link here between Devon’s sexual and gender fluidity and her journey to letting go of her own rigidity. By the end of the season, she’s leading the cowboy and trucker men of Marfa in a dance, allowing them to open themselves up to expression outside of their prescribed slot in the gender binary. Every breath of her screen time is resistance. Artistic expression. Entirely genuine, combatively unique. Even when I Love Dick suffers from its more abstract concepts, Devon takes no shit, stands tall, refuses to suffer for who she is. When her brief fling with Toby all but ends, she continues her work, tireless, seeking unity — if not of her hometown, then of herself.   SUMMER: KAT EDISON OF THE BOLD TYPE Kat Edison takes no prisoners. Her approach to a conversation is a strong fist against a table and an open hand already waving away your ill-formed argument. Armed with a mountain of professional know-how and instinct, her inexperience, it turns out, is more personal, an inability to slow down long enough to re-evaluate aspects of her life, and the people who are important to her. It’s when she’s met with someone so totally opposite, someone who puts the individual under the lens and captures it, that she begins to shift. Kat’s focus is on the social, the community — Adena’s is instead on the expression of the individual. Their initial interactions are rife with misunderstanding and discomfort, but it only pushes Kat further, to explore the draw between them, to a woman as outspoken and independent as herself. A crush becomes more. A friendship becomes a deeper form of sharing, of educating one another, of support. And even when it becomes physical, their relationship comes back to that point — even when separated, even when protesting from opposite corners of the world, there is a through line of supporting each other in their separate paths, returning to each other when they can, but never damning their respective causes. Put simply? Ultimate power couple.   AUTUMN: WENDY CARR OF MINDHUNTER I picked up Mindhunter on almost a whim. Fincher’s style didn’t disappoint, nor did the vast majority of the characters twined in the interrogation, interview, and in-depth analysis of the 1970’s most notorious serial killers. Anna Torv’s Wendy Carr is more than a pleasant surprise — she’s a vision of strength, a sturdy by-the-book intellectual standing tall in the face of a twenty-something sliding down a slippery slope to doucheville and the grouchy borderline Old West sheriff serving as his mentor. When she flies from Quantico to Boston halfway through the season, shoulders heavy with the choice between her old life and a new one, she goes home to consult with her partner. Her partner is an older woman, a fellow professor, a fellow intellectual. I’ve written about their one scene together before, but the long and short of it is this: Mindhunter recognizes Wendy as a character whose personal life does not dominate the process of hunting serial killers, and so her personal life does not dominate the structure of the show. There’s a few scant kisses, the stroke of knuckles, but for a pair of women well in their adult years, the focus isn’t on sex — it’s on stability. And their relationship, while stable, has a toxic edge, one that compels Wendy to leave it behind her and move on, to Quantico, to a new profession. Season Two of Mindhunter may not expand much further on Wendy’s lesbianism — in fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if it remains a sidelined facet of an already busy show — but for now, her strength to pull away from the only family we’ve seen her have in an effort to protect herself from being steamrolled is a mark of her character, one that will apply to everything she does.   WINTER: ROSA DIAZ OF BROOKLYN NINE-NINE This is a month where censorship of both the internet and the CDC has been a hot topic. This is a month where we have been trying to wring the truth out of powerful people, to get clear concise language. This is a month where half the cast of Brooklyn 99 said various forms of the term “bisexual” multiple times. The con has been on for seasons to set up the arc of Rosa’s coming out — multiple episodes where Rosa’s disgust in sharing personal details about herself while dating Marcus, or Pimento, or about her family, even where she lives. Rosa is a private person. Rosa could have a stamp collection, and we’d never know. Why? Because it’s personal. And for Rosa, personal is private, until it isn’t. Usually, the revelation of details about her life is a total accident, and in this case, it’s no different. It’s bullpen quirkmeister and all-around lovable loudmouth Charles Boyle who’s the first one privy to the info, and his reaction? He understands that coming out is on Rosa’s terms, and does his absolute best to keep quiet (which, given what we’ve seen in past seasons, is incredible in itself). Rosa eventually announces it to the squad, even allowing stereotypical questions for a brief period before moving on to more important matters. The focus Brooklyn 99 puts on this plotline, for a comedy cop procedural, is stunning. The story spans two episodes, including one which serves as the fall finale of the show, a lingering final note for their audience to reflect on. The casting of Rosa’s parents, which could easily have been thrown away roles, go to Tony Award-nominated actress Olga Merediz and certified stone-cold badass Danny Trejo. The tension of “Game Night” builds through the mistaken assumption that Jake is Rosa’s boyfriend and comes to a head as Rosa, standing in front of a Pictionary-esque drawing board, has to explain to her parents that she’s bisexual, that it isn’t just a phase while she waits for a husband, that it’s something she’s known for a long time. Something true. It’s a heartbreaking moment when her father states, “There’s no such thing as being bisexual,” and Rosa responds clearly, in that matter-of-fact Rosa Diaz tone we know and love, “I know there is because that’s who I am.” The redemption moment comes a few short scenes later when Rosa’s father turns up at the precinct, promises her that he accepts her for who she is — but the scene turns bittersweet when he asks her to hold off on joining them for game night again. It’s clear that, while he’s willing to work to preserve their relationship, the family dynamic will never be the same — so the squad gets to work, and on Friday night turns up en masse to Rosa’s place for, as Jake puts it, “family game night”. Rosa’s character, ever the private, distant, steel-plated detective, has made leaps and bounds towards becoming more open. In season one, the squad didn’t even know where she lived, and now not only have her address, but are somewhat welcome there. Even then, they don’t push for information, taking what she offers them in stride and making sure she feels welcome. Captain Holt pulls her aside and gives her a heart to heart, thanking her for her bravery, for helping to make the world “a better and more interesting place.”   I hope 2017’s media helped you find your community, or inspire you to create worlds and characters of your own. And offline? A new year is an opportunity to celebrate differences in our community as much as we triumph over unity, to work harder to make the world a better, more interesting place. Here’s to 2018. Let’s use it wisely.   pic 1 arrow.wikia.com pic 2 I Love Dick FB pic 3 Bold Type FB pic 4 Netflix pic 5 Fox Youtube http://dlvr.it/Q6sTv8

[aion-rsa]

The Best Geek TV Deep Dives on YouTube

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From the heyday of Television Without Pity to niche podcasts that cover every small screen angle you can think of, TV show deep dives have always thrived online, and popular platforms like YouTube and Vimeo provide opportunities for talented creators to add a visual angle that can often make a well-edited analysis of your favorite series even more compelling.

YouTube is positively teeming with potential rabbit holes for TV obsessives to fall down. Sometimes at 3 a.m. Sometimes after a few beers. Sometimes when you should be working (couldn’t be us) but whether you’re drawn in by a near-obligatory shocked reaction thumbnail or you accidentally stumble across an interesting take on something you’re passionate about, there’s usually a rabbit hole waiting that feels like it could have been made just for you.

With any luck, falling down one of those rabbit holes ends with you landing far away from the world of destructive opinions, of which there are many, and not just on YouTube. Most of us have probably seen a clip floating around of someone spouting the most harmful, misinformed nonsense at one time or another, and asked ourselves whether giving that person a platform was really the best idea.

Well, this isn’t that. Instead, we’ve pulled together some weighty YouTube-accessible examples of what happens when someone loves a TV series or franchise so much, they can’t stop talking about it – even decades later. Most of these deep dives are a labor of love, which is not to say that they always have a happy ending.

The Retrospective

Ian Martin, who runs the YouTube channel Passion of the Nerd, says his journey began rather accidentally in his early 30s when he found himself feeling a little lost in life. He admits he tried a variety of ways to rid himself of the sensation, including “too much alcohol,” but after deciding on a career change and fruitlessly looking for ways into the voiceover industry, he decided the best course of action was to go ahead and just …make stuff. After all, this course of action didn’t require anyone else to give him a break, and made him the master of his own destiny.

“I sat down and wrote a script about a show I’d become consumed by and edited it into a video called Why You Should Watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” he wrote. “In that video, I mentioned that Buffy’s first season was a little rough and, for people who just wanted to get into the show, I would create a short little episode guide just to get them through the first season.”

Six years later, Martin is still at it, and his audience has grown into a supportive community that includes over sixty thousand subscribers, propped up by funding from Patreon. Not only is he still covering Joss Whedon’s first series in depth, episode-by-episode, he’s now delving into spin-off show Angel and Firefly.

Martin’s videos don’t pore over every aspect of these shows, and rarely does an instalment hit the 30-minute mark. Rather, they tend to examine the philosophy behind their themes, citing absurdist and existentialist influences. The host himself doesn’t push these ideas on his audience, but if you don’t end up buying a copy of Jean-Paul Sartre’s Nausea by the time you get to the end of Season 3, it may be that you’ve missed out on a pretty essential element of Buffy’s enduring appeal.

“It took me a long time to figure out what Passion of the Nerd was but I started to find its shape through the journey it was taking ME on,” he explained. “On any average day it’s a chance to make someone laugh over our shared interests. But my favorite experience of art is the one in which we find ourselves. That movie, piece of music, performance, or show that makes us feel like its creator opened up our heart to take a picture of its inner depths. And I love talking about why media MATTERS and finding those moments in popular culture. Sometimes I get to distil those moments for other people and when I do, I hope it does for them what the channel has done for me.”

Martin’s coverage of the very first episode of Buffy lies below. If you continue watching his series of videos after that, it’s unlikely you’ll want that time back. They’re incredibly thoughtful and, frankly, an absolute joy.

The Deconstruction

Ah, Twin Peaks. The show that changed television forever, and one that has been hard to forget ever since. You’ve not been able to throw a golden shovel without hitting a Twin Peaks deep dive online in the last three decades, but occasionally one arrives and threatens to pull apart the backbone of its dreamscape for good.

Twin Perfect’s Rosseter turned in a Twin Peaks deep dive last October with a running time not for the faint of heart. His deconstruction of David Lynch’s endlessly puzzling mystery, supported by myriad quotes from its beloved co-creator, is over four-and-a-half hours long, but its length certainly hasn’t put off curious viewers – over a million people have already chosen to hear what Rosseter has to say about the real meaning behind Twin Peaks.

“Garmonbozia, the Black and White Lodges, Mike, Bob and the Little Man, Judy, Audrey and Charlie, Season 3’s ending… The mystery of Twin Peaks has survived for nearly 30 years… until now,” the video promises, which is a tease that even casual fans of the series can’t possibly resist. Their mileage may vary with the host’s loud impression of Lynch throughout the video, however, even as he produces what feels like a fairly accurate interpretation of Twin Peaks’ initial intentions, its ongoing message in the prequel film Fire Walk with Me, and a gut-punching look at 2017’s The Return.

Rosseter starts out by warning his audience that if they haven’t consumed all three Twin Peaks seasons and the film, they should consider stepping back until they have, which stands to reason: he’s about to spoil most of their various twists and turns. But he then goes on to say that die-hard Twin Peaks junkies should also reconsider watching the video, because after they’ve heard him out, they might never be able to look at Twin Peaks the same way again.

For many, the temptation to potentially peek behind the red curtain has been too great to ignore, and the comment section is filled with people who sat through the whole thing, having felt truly changed by the experience.

“David Lynch didn’t even know what this show was about until he saw this video,” someone joked, while another added more solemnly “I just feel regret. I appreciate the show on a whole other level but the haunting magic that it had for me is gone.”

One viewer thought that Rosseter’s comprehensive offering “may legitimately and unironically be one of the most intelligent and well-constructed videos ever put on YouTube,” but others hit the nail on the head when they realised that unwrapping Twin Peaks’ clues over the years had only led to one significant discovery: “we were controlling Twin Peaks the entire time.”

So, what’s at the heart of Rosseter’s theory? You may want to find out for yourself, and he certainly makes an incredibly detailed case for it. In this event, a brief explanation in the next paragraph will be a SPOILER.

While it’s common knowledge that David Lynch didn’t want to reveal who was responsible for killing Twin Peaks’ central victim, Laura Palmer, and that he was forced by TV bigwigs to wrap up the storyline and the investigation into her murder during Season 2 in late 1990, Rosseter posits that the reason we were never supposed to uncover the mystery of who ended her life and get closure on her death is because Lynch fundamentally believes that consumable TV violence is rotting our brains, and that’s why he created the series in the first place.

Still intrigued? Take a look…

The Discussion

Two-time Shorty Award winner Kristen Maldonado launched her YouTube channel in 2014 as a place where pop culture meets community, and she has the kind of drive, ambition and fast turnaround skills that make other creators look like they’re napping on the job, frankly.

While working as a social media manager for MTV, she’s used her YouTube platform to support women, diversity, and LGBTQ+ representation, discussing everything from the acknowledgement of Kat’s identity on The Bold Type, to the highs and lows of TV’s YA-skewed failures, emphasising the importance of why representation matters “on screen, behind the scenes, and critically.”

Along the way, she’s become a notable queen of deep dives, and not just where TV or movies are concerned – at one point she was even documenting her own musical journey on Spotify, where she was keen to bring attention to emerging artists. Discussing TV still feels like Maldonado’s reigning passion, though, and she usually explores her favorite shows in bite-sized segments that add up to a comprehensive look at their subjects.

One show she’s been extremely passionate about is the Charmed reboot, which she was beyond excited to see come to fruition on The CW. The fantasy drama series originally ran for eight seasons between 1998 and 2006, and CBS had tried and failed to reboot it before, but this time The CW intended to get the job done, bringing the story of magic and sisterhood back to TV and hoping to entice both fans of the old series and a new, younger audience.

The reboot was initially touted across industry trades as a project that would star three Latinx actresses, and that casting choice meant a lot to Maldonado. When news later emerged that only one of the new Charmed sisters would be played by a Latina actress, she posted a video addressing her feelings of confusion about how the show was originally announced, her disappointment that the roles wouldn’t be filled by three Latinx performers, and why series creators need to start using valuable representation opportunities properly.

Maldonado has covered the Charmed reboot comprehensively since it began in 2018, and this year has moved into livestreaming her reviews, switching from shorter videos to longer discussions about the episodes. If you’re a fan of Charmed, or any of the other series she covers (and there are quite a few) you might well find her channel to be an insightful addition to your subscription list.

The Takedown

Chances are, a TV show has pissed you off or upset you before. That Game of Thrones ending? Probably. Bobby Ewing stepping out of the shower? Sure. Quantum Leap? We’re not over it. Only a few of us take the time to make a video detailing just how upset we are about a show and upload it to YouTube, though.

Mike Stoklasa is likely to be a pretty familiar face to some of the Very Online movie and TV addicts reading these words. He’s the founder of production company RedLetterMedia, through which he’s been creating content and offering his desert-dry opinion on various facets of pop culture for well over a decade.

On YouTube, Stoklasa is regularly accompanied by cohorts Jay Bauman and Rich Evans as they take a hard look at some of their favorite films from the past, some of the worst straight-to-video movies of all time, and some of the bigger releases, too. He also voices a character called Mr. Plinkett, and when he does, viewers know that they’re about to peer screaming into the void, because ‘Mr. Plinkett’ does not hold back, especially when it comes to Star Wars or Star Trek.

Stoklasa is one of the most vocal Star Trek fans alive, and is known to consistently derail otherwise unconnected discussions with his Trek references, often explaining how Star Trek may have influenced the subject’s storytelling, and how it might have been – or should have been – a positive lesson from TV past.

To say that he’s not a fan of Star Trek’s fairly recent resurgence under the eye of executive producer Alex Kurtzman is probably an understatement. He covered CBS All-Access’ Star Trek: Discovery, a series that has, for the most part, chosen to abandon Trek’s previous lean towards standalone stories and episodes in favor of season-long arcs, and he seemed interested but trepidatious ahead of Star Trek: Picard’s arrival on the streaming service. But after the show had run its course, he uploaded a 94-minute takedown called ‘Mr. Plinkett’s Star Trek Picard Review’.

The broader world of YouTube takedowns is, objectively, a cesspool – misogyny, racism and homophobia have often run rampant – but Stoklasa has been in the business of keeping more of a constructive balance going for a long time, so when ‘Mr Plinkett’s’ review of Picard appeared online towards the end of May, anyone with even a little backstory on his recent problems with Trek’s TV universe suspected that the fresh adventures of the aging ex-Enterprise captain had finally pushed him over the edge …but they weren’t quite prepared for the ‘Dear John’ letter that ultimately arrived.

Whether you enjoyed Picard or not, Stoklasa makes some constructive points in his video review, and his breakup with the current Star Trek TV world is one for the ages.

The Art of More

If it’s the visual element of a TV show deep dive you’re into, YouTube has plenty to offer.

Art meets skill as Skip Intro takes a fascinating look at the editing behind David E. Kelley’s Big Little Lies, Ladyknightthebrave spends the best part of an hour pondering how Fleabag’s gimmick of breaking the fourth wall serves the show’s characters and story, and balancing ‘point of view’ vs ‘the big picture’ becomes the focus of Lost Thoughts’ It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Island.

Here, Thomas Flight explores how HBO’s award-guzzling Chernobyl became a masterclass in perspective…

We hope you found something worth your time in this piece, and writing it up wasn’t really an excuse to discover more of them, but it also wasn’t NOT an excuse to discover more of them. So, if you’ve found any notable examples to keep us busy, please direct our attention to them in the comments, thank you.

The post The Best Geek TV Deep Dives on YouTube appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[myupdatesystems-blog]

Most Important Aspects of Your Game

New Post has been published on https://myupdatesystems.com/2017/04/05/most-important-aspects-of-your-game/

Most Important Aspects of Your Game

So you’ve decided to plunge yourself into the world of game development, have assembled a team of mighty warriors to tackle all the big issues and are ready to create the next best game in the industry… trumping WoW, Guild Wars… (you get the point). You’ve chopped up all your brainstorming and assembled some really keen concepts for a storyline and you’re ready to go. But amongst all the programming, the character concepts, the dungeons, and the quests – what are truly the most important aspects of your game that will determine whether someone enjoys themselves? Read on, and allow me to share with you what I think.

When we do decide to take that plunge into the development of a new game, there are five things you should consider very carefully, and pay a great deal of attention to. There are probably more of these that will hinder or help you along your way, and your ordering may be different than mine, but these are what I always hold to be the most important. Over the next week we will reveal each aspects, and at the end of the week culminate with the complete article. For today we’ll begin at the top, with number 5.

Number 5: Storyline

When crafting your game, there is no better inspiration for features and activities, quests and dungeons, than your very own highly developed and custom tailored storyline. Some may balk at this statement, claiming that storyline is easily overshadowed and un-necessary when you have intense graphics that make your fingers tingle, or when you have combat so intense that you’re literally ducking out of the way from behind your monitor. While these things definitely contribute to an awesome game, and can lead to a lot of excitement (in fact, they’re on the list too!), they cannot make up for a lack of storyline. One thing many players crave whether consciously or not, is a strong storyline that leads them into caring about the game – it entices you – and makes you feel as though your wildest dreams may in fact be possible in this environment. Storyline can be simple and to the point while being so flawlessly done that it serves as the crux of the entire game (EVE Online: We’re flying through space, blowing people out of the sky…) and at the same time being so rich and deep with lore (the complexities in lore and story surrounding EVE is so great that it entangles even the most basic ships and inventory items) that it compels players to write their own histories.

Not only does storyline help players become engaged with all that you’ve slaved over and worked for, but it helps you the developer along the way. If you’ve been smart, and from the beginning dreamed up an intoxicatingly deep history of your game setting, it will constantly serve you throughout development. It will provide clues into what features want to be a part of the game, what doesn’t need to be included, and what does or doesn’t fit. An architecture professor of mine once said, when referring to the site analysis portion of architecture that we could find out a great deal about what we should be building on the building site by simply visiting the location, and “envisioning the invisible building that wants to be built”. This is true in architecture, and it is especially true in game development and dreaming up your storyline/game setting.

Storyline may be important, but is it more important than a snazzy game setting so rich and vibrant that your tempted to stay indefinitely? Well, maybe – just as long as your 3d representation isn’t bogged down by hundreds of thousands of nasty polygons or quads. Why in the world is Artwork important, anyway?

Number 4: Artwork

I’ve heard many, many times that the artwork/3d models/characters found in your game won’t make or break things. I agree with this in that it won’t make or break the entire game, but artwork and professional looking/feeling models definitely help you out along the way. Think of any movie you’ve seen recently where the sets were absolutely incredible and stunning – one such example (although not necessarily as “recent”) are the Lord of the Rings movies. Throughout the entire set of movies, rich and diverse settings are abound, and help the immersion factor like you wouldn’t believe. Would the movie have been “broken” by less awe-inspiring scenes? Probably not, because in the case of The Lord of the Rings, there were a lot of other incredible aspects. Did the awe-inspiring scenes make the movie just that much better, and give it just that much *more* to drool over? Yes, Definitely. The same kind of effect can be seen in the game industry. I play games that have incredible graphics (EVE Online) and other that don’t (Dark Ages). I am however, addicted to both of these games for different reasons, but you can bet that the stunning environment in EVE certainly helps to inspire its large player base.

Additionally, your artwork can seriously effect the mechanics of your game. Many developers over look an incredibly important aspect of their 3d models – poly count… That’s to say, the number of triangles (or *shiver* quads) your game has. Many of the free 3d models you may find on the internet are gorgeous, but are so incredibly detailed that using them in a computer, real time environment would not be wise because you are typically trying to appeal to as many systems as possible. Console systems have the luxury of (for the most part) assuming that everyone’s running on an even playing field. Those of us developing games strictly for the computer don’t have this luxury. Suffice it to say, it’s important to find quality, low poly game content, and there’s certainly enough of it out there that there’s no excuse for you to be shoving your game full of characters that are in the 10,000 poly range (many online companies limit their avatars, or characters, to around 2500-5000 polys).

The lower your poly count on your 3d models, the smoother your environment is going to run on the widest range of computers… usually. One thing to keep in mind throughout this entire process is how your engine handles polygons, and to find out what the ideal poly range is that you want to aim for for characters and scenery. In most cases higher character polys are more acceptable, with scenery (buildings, trees, etc) being lower in poly. Another engine specific feature to keep in mind is whether or not the engine supports Level of Detail (LOD). LOD for those who may not know is a system where the engine will use very low poly versions of a model if the player is far away, swapping the model in and out for high quality versions the closer you get to it. As far as I know, almost every engine out there supports LOD, but some like Active Worlds do not.

Down the road we go with Number 3: Music! Some may say (and argue) that music for an online game should be included into the category of “Artwork” – while this may be true depending on how you look at it, music in a game is incredibly important *aside* from your 3d models and 3d characters and so it receives its own spot.

Number 3: Music

In many ways music is the heart and soul of any environment you may create in 3D – it is literally the sound trick to which events occur, players win battles to, return home to, etc etc. Music is a vital tool used to set the mood in any setting, and without it your game will feel dead and like something is missing. In many ways, music helps to express for the player the mood of a specific area, it enhances and emphasizes what you are relating to your player. Do you want them to feel sad, anxious, excited, fearful? Because hearing is one of our primary sense (seeing, smelling, etc), one could argue that it is just as powerful in linking and creating memories. It should be one of your *top goals* to make people remember your game – making your game memorable is one of the tricks in making it both enjoyable and something that people will tell their friends about. Hearing, and the music in your game is one of the more subtle qualities that plays a huge part in how an environment *feels*. Think about what your favorite movie would sound like without sound and music?

This highlights another important aspect that is a sub category of music: sound effects. While music is the key that gives your environment some feeling and life, sound effects are what make the environment tangible and feel realistic. When a player is able to knock over a trashcan and as a result they hear the clanging of aluminum and tin rolling down the concrete they’re standing on, the player has an increased feeling of interaction with the environment. Think of the effect and life the environment takes on when a player goes from walking on stone, where their shoes may be clacking, to walking on dirt or mud, where the sound would naturally change quite dramatically. making good games is about mastering small (but powerful) details that immerse your player.

Many independent developers may shy away from placing such an importance on the music played in the game because in some ways it can be hard to come by for people with limited budgets. While music can be expensive (alright, no foolin’ it IS expensive) to have custom made, you can find some great deals on royalty free music for purchase online. In many cases these tracks are professionally made, and available for flexible licenses – either for independent folks, or commercial studios. It’s not uncommon for instance, to find 5-6 tracks on an indie license for around $100.

GarageGames.com has some great deals on music and sound effects – the sound effects found there are definitely a deal. You can find the page directly by visiting their content packages.

Gamedev.net also has some great resources relating to music in games, and provides a nice directory of sites containing stock and royalty free music. Check it out here.

At a later time it would be nice to include a directory of our own of some great music resources. Look for that later. In the mean time, let us know what you think about Music and Sound Effects inside of games that you’ve played, whether you thought they were effective and important to your gaming experience… And if you don’t agree, you can let us know that, too!

Now that we’ve covered much of the meat of your game (Storyline, Artwork, Music), we’re going to delve a little bit farther into game design and really define the skeleton of your game – the backbone, the thing that ultimately keeps people coming back to your game day after day. Storyline, artwork and music are important things that will really make your game feel complete, and make it less likely that people will stand in your local village, and look around wondering “What’s missing?” But ultimately when it comes to the development of your game, we’re now getting into what really matters. That brings us to today’s post…

Number 2: Game Flow

When it comes to game design in today’s world there are really three primary types of flow that you game can follow. What exactly is game flow? The game flow, or structure of your game, is how players interact with it and storyline events, quests, missions, etc. It determines whether players can branch out and make the game what they want it to be, or if they’re locked onto a track that guides them into their pitfalls and excitement. Appropriately the three types of flow are as follows: Sand box, Roller-coaster, and a hybrid mix of the two. In many cases the way in which your game engages people, and how it forces them to interact with the environment and progress in the game will determine the types of players you attract to your game.

The most “traditional” game play style, or rather the most frequently used in the past has been that of the “Roller-coaster”. This type of game play is just as the name implies – users begin the game (get on the ride) and are carefully lead through the build up, the climax of storyline, pitfalls, exciting twists and turns, and ultimately the game ends with a rush of excitement. This could also be equated with the experience reading a book gives where there is a definite beginning and a definite ending of things. Many RPGs out there fall into this category, where your goals in the game are explicitly defined (conquer the evil demons of the sea and save the pretty girl) and while these games are a lot of fun, in some ways this system doesn’t always work as well in massively multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPG’s) where you have dozens, hundreds, even thousands of people interacting with one another. This isn’t to say that there aren’t MMOs that pull it off (Guild Wars specifically comes to mind), and this isn’t to say that MMORPG’s that go the route of the Roller-Coaster aren’t wildly fun (as Guild Wars is). This IS to say that in more recent years people have begun to favor a newer breed of game where the options appear limitless, and if instead of rescuing that pretty girl from the evil demons of the sea, you want to go and be an innocent farmer… more power to you!

Enter the “Sandbox” games. In more recent years there has been a big push to these sandbox’s where people can do what they’d like. Similar to roller-coaster games, the name is synonymous with it’s real life counter part, the sandbox. The idea is that upon entering the game, if you decide to ignore the over arching and present storyline (remember our pretty girl), that you can do just that without any significant consequences. This type of game play is sometimes said to appeal primarily to hardcore style gamers, although I’m not sure I fully buy into that philosophy. Often times I’ve found many casual players in sandbox type games who simply enjoy socializing with one another, mining together, exploring, etc, without all the insane time commitment of pursuing the major storyline events. In many of these games political and religious systems can be found, as well as a variety of job occupations. From what I’ve seen however, these games tend to be far more time intensive than roller-coaster games, simply because of the amount of time you need to pour into your character to forge your own path (and be successful at it). While some many not agree with me here, I would say EVE Online is definitely classifiable as a sandbox, as a majority of EVEs content, gameplay, and activities are created and inspired by the players themselves. GTA3 is also considered by many to be a sandbox game. That in itself is an important note: in sandboxes you will normally find a wealth of systems run by the players themselves, like guilds and factions – usually there is also an economy in game that is facilitated totally by players selling their personally made goods.

Finally, very recently we’ve hit a time when some people are discussing ways to make what you could call a mix between sandbox and roller-coaster games. I have yet to come across a good example of how this has been done (or how someone is working on one), I’ve only heard slight mention of it here and there. From what I gather though, there would be a few central over arching storylines taking place at one time, giving users their choice of how to proceed, and along the way providing ample opportunity for players to branch off onto their own paths, while still allowing them to come back to the big storyline. Some may again classify this primarily as sandbox, but I would argue that if at any time there is a great deal of direction coming from quests, storylines and developer driven content, that you begin to get more into roller-coaster elements. If anyone has run into what you’d consider to be a good example of a sandbox roller-coaster hybrid, please let me know! If you’ve ever read one of those “Choose your own ending” style books that plagued elementary and middle schools, you’ll understand what a sandbox roller-coaster hybrid might be like. While the player has choices (perhaps many, many choices!), things are still ultimately “guided” by an over all storyline, while leaving room for player created content. At the end of the day though, all of that is easier said than done.

Ultimately, deciding on what game system you use, or “Game Flow” method you use is going to be vital in developing your game. Like storyline, it will give you direction and more easily help you to make decisions about whether or not a specific feature would fit into your game. Not only will it help you to make decisions, but as a result it will help to shape your game. Direction and determination are absolutely mandatory in game development, and deciding on a Game Flow will at least help you in the direction department 😉

We’ve covered some incredibly important aspects of your gaming environment – from visual stimulus, and the sounds that pull your travelers deeper into your game, to the stories that inspire and the game mechanics that help shape your players’ characters. However, at the end of the day there is one aspect that will bring everything home and determine whether or not your game is bursting with eager players, or an emptied ghost town.

Number 1: Activities, baby!

While friends within games come and go, quests are released and beaten, items are unveiled and later trumped – at the end of the day the gaming community is not unlike society at large; we are a disposable group of people. We love to love the hottest items, spells, houses, quests, but eventually they become something of yesterday and cease to draw as much excitement from the people who have been hanging around your game for a while. Many games falter because they fail to recognize that new content is a must, even if the content you already have is incredible. The typical gamer can crunch through your average game in less than a month and if you’re planning to release a game that has a monthly subscription, or the need to retain players for an extended amount of time, that’s bad news for you. Ultimately the solution to “What next?” and “Why are people leaving?” is to imbue your game and all of its nooks and crannies with valuable content and *things to do*. It is from this area that it seems most of the discontent for games comes from which means that it is not only imperative to have plenty of activities in the game when it first releases, but to follow up on those activities with new things to explore, find, and participate in in the following months and years of the games life span.

Not only does providing and planning activities in the beginning stages of your game design help create a game that will be fun to play, but it may also help to inspire other areas of your development as well. Events can inspire your storyline, and your storyline can help to give you ideas of activities and new plot lines, for example. In many ways this aspect of your game is what will help to build and foster the social community within your game, which is ultimately what ties people to specific games: the friends and community that would be left behind if they were to leave.

Ideally, there are a whole host of event and activity types you can create within your game. Some of them are global style events that involve almost everyone active in the environment at the time. Examples of such events would be those relating to real world holidays like Christmas, Halloween, etc. More often than not those are time periods in games where if there is nothing new going on, your game will lose out against real life in the excitement category. People will choose to spend time doing things other than playing your game, if this is the case. Now, while we at TGS appreciate family time and all, this is bad news for you. Create global events that match up to real life events that will make being inside your environment during this time fun, exciting, and provide the extra bit of holiday spirit for your players. There are also events that are recurring, such as player run elections and hunting parties that give your players something to do year round. Optimize these activities and make them readily available to players so that these are things they can easily take part in and enjoy.

There are countless numbers of events that you can include in your game to make things feel more lively – we’ve just covered a very small number of them here. Perhaps in a later post we can create another article in order to inspire you a bit more in this category. We’ll see! An important thing to remember when judging whether or not “activities” are your number one priority: an online game is at its best when there are ample things to participate in with others. When your game is one which does not foster socializing, it will more than likely become quiet and empty, and let’s face it – do we expect people to play (and pay for) an empty online game? Food for thought.

[netmaddy-blog]

Top 5 Maximum Essential Components of Your Game

New Post has been published on https://netmaddy.com/top-5-maximum-essential-components-of-your-game/

Top 5 Maximum Essential Components of Your Game

So you’ve decided to plunge yourself into the world of game development, have assembled a team of mighty warriors to tackle all the big issues and are ready to create the next best game in the industry… trumping WoW, Guild Wars… (you get the point). You’ve chopped up all your brainstorming and assembled some really keen concepts for a storyline and you’re ready to go. But amongst all the programming, the character concepts, the dungeons, and the quests – what are truly the most important aspects of your game that will determine whether someone enjoys themself? Read on, and allow me to share with you what I think.

When we do decide to take that plunge into the development of a new game, there are five things you should consider very carefully, and pay a great deal of attention to. There are probably more of these that will hinder or help you along your way, and your ordering may be different than mine, but these are what I always hold to be the most important. Over the next week we will reveal each aspects, and at the end of the week culminate with the complete article. For today we’ll begin at the top, with number 5.

Number 5: Storyline

When crafting your game, there is no better inspiration for features and activities, quests and dungeons, than your very own highly developed and custom tailored storyline. Some may balk at this statement, claiming that storyline is easily overshadowed and un-necessary when you have intense graphics that make your fingers tingle, or when you have combat so intense that you’re literally ducking out of the way from behind your monitor. While these things definitely contribute to an awesome game, and can lead to a lot of excitement (in fact, they’re on the list too!), they cannot make up for a lack of storyline. One thing many players crave whether consciously or not, is a strong storyline that leads them into caring about the game – it entices you – and makes you feel as though your wildest dreams may in fact be possible in this environment. Storyline can be simple and to the point while being so flawlessly done that it serves as the crux of the entire game (EVE Online: We’re flying through space, blowing people out of the sky…) and at the same time being so rich and deep with lore (the complexities in lore and story surrounding EVE is so great that it entangles even the most basic ships and inventory items) that it compels players to write their own histories.

Not only does storyline help players become engaged with all that you’ve slaved over and worked for, but it helps you the developer along the way. If you’ve been smart, and from the beginning dreamed up an intoxicatingly deep history of your game setting, it will constantly serve you throughout development. It will provide clues into what features want to be a part of the game, what doesn’t need to be included, and what does or doesn’t fit. An architecture professor of mine once said, when referring to the site analysis portion of architecture that we could find out a great deal about what we should be building on the building site by simply visiting the location, and “envisioning the invisible building that wants to be built”. This is true in architecture, and it is especially true in game development and dreaming up your storyline/game setting.

Storyline may be important, but is it more important than a snazzy game setting so rich and vibrant that your tempted to stay indefinitely? Well, maybe – just as long as your 3d representation isn’t bogged down by hundreds of thousands of nasty polygons or quads. Why in the world is Artwork important, anyway?

Number 4: Artwork

I’ve heard many, many times that the artwork/3d models/characters found in your game won’t make or break things. I agree with this in that it won’t make or break the entire game, but artwork and professional looking/feeling models definitely help you out along the way. Think of any movie you’ve seen recently where the sets were absolutely incredible and stunning – one such example (although not necessarily as “recent”) are the Lord of the Rings movies. Throughout the entire set of movies, rich and diverse settings are abound, and help the immersion factor like you wouldn’t believe. Would the movie have been “broken” by less awe-inspiring scenes? Probably not, because in the case of The Lord of the Rings, there were a lot of other incredible aspects. Did the awe-inspiring scenes make the movie just that much better, and give it just that much *more* to drool over? Yes, Definitely. The same kind of effect can be seen in the game industry. I play games that have incredible graphics (EVE Online) and other that don’t (Dark Ages). I am however, addicted to both of these games for different reasons, but you can bet that the stunning environment in EVE certainly helps to inspire its large player base.

Additionally, your artwork can seriously effect the mechanics of your game. Many developers over look an incredibly important aspect of their 3d models – poly count… That’s to say, the number of triangles (or *shiver* quads) your game has. Many of the free 3d models you may find on the internet are gorgeous, but are so incredibly detailed that using them in a computer, real time environment would not be wise because you are typically trying to appeal to as many systems as possible. Console systems have the luxury of (for the most part) assuming that everyone’s running on an even playing field. Those of us developing games strictly for the computer don’t have this luxury. Suffice it to say, it’s important to find quality, low poly game content, and there’s certainly enough of it out there that there’s no excuse for you to be shoving your game full of characters that are in the 10,000 poly range (many online companies limit their avatars, or characters, to around 2500-5000 polys).

The lower your poly count on your 3d models, the smoother your environment is going to run on the widest range of computers… usually. One thing to keep in mind throughout this entire process is how your engine handles polygons, and to find out what the ideal poly range is that you want to aim for for characters and scenery. In most cases higher character polys are more acceptable, with scenery (buildings, trees, etc) being lower in poly. Another engine specific feature to keep in mind is whether or not the engine supports Level of Detail (LOD). LOD for those who may not know is a system where the engine will use very low poly versions of a model if the player is far away, swapping the model in and out for high quality versions the closer you get to it. As far as I know, almost every engine out there supports LOD, but some like Active Worlds do not.

Down the road we go with Number 3: Music! Some may say (and argue) that music for an online game should be included into the category of “Artwork” – while this may be true depending on how you look at it, music in a game is incredibly important *aside* from your 3d models and 3d characters and so it receives its own spot.

Number 3: Music

In many ways music is the heart and soul of any environment you may create in 3D – it is literally the sound trick to which events occur, players win battles to, return home to, etc etc. Music is a vital tool used to set the mood in any setting, and without it your game will feel dead and like something is missing. In many ways, music helps to express for the player the mood of a specific area, it enhances and emphasizes what you are relating to your player. Do you want them to feel sad, anxious, excited, fearful? Because hearing is one of our primary sense (seeing, smelling, etc), one could argue that it is just as powerful in linking and creating memories. It should be one of your *top goals* to make people remember your game – making your game memorable is one of the tricks in making it both enjoyable and something that people will tell their friends about. Hearing, and the music in your game is one of the more subtle qualities that plays a huge part in how an environment *feels*. Think about what your favorite movie would sound like without sound and music?

This highlights another important aspect that is a sub category of music: sound effects. While music is the key that gives your environment some feeling and life, sound effects are what make the environment tangible and feel realistic. When a player is able to knock over a trashcan and as a result they hear the clanging of aluminum and tin rolling down the concrete they’re standing on, the player has an increased feeling of interaction with the environment. Think of the effect and life the environment takes on when a player goes from walking on stone, where their shoes may be clacking, to walking on dirt or mud, where the sound would naturally change quite dramatically. making good games is about mastering small (but powerful) details that immerse your player.

Many independent developers may shy away from placing such an importance on the music played in the game because in some ways it can be hard to come by for people with limited budgets. While music can be expensive (alright, no foolin’ it IS expensive) to have custom made, you can find some great deals on royalty free music for purchase online. In many cases these tracks are professionally made, and available for flexible licenses – either for independent folks, or commercial studios. It’s not uncommon for instance, to find 5-6 tracks on an indie license for around $100.

GarageGames.com has some great deals on music and sound effects – the sound effects found there are definitely a deal. You can find the page directly by visiting their content packages.

Gamedev.net also has some great resources relating to music in games, and provides a nice directory of sites containing stock and royalty free music. Check it out here.

At a later time it would be nice to include a directory of our own of some great music resources. Look for that later. In the mean time, let us know what you think about Music and Sound Effects inside of games that you’ve played, whether you thought they were effective and important to your gaming experience… And if you don’t agree, you can let us know that, too!

Now that we’ve covered much of the meat of your game (Storyline, Artwork, Music), we’re going to delve a little bit farther into game design and really define the skeleton of your game – the backbone, the thing that ultimately keeps people coming back to your game day after day. Storyline, artwork and music are important things that will really make your game feel complete, and make it less likely that people will stand in your local village, and look around wondering “What’s missing?” But ultimately when it comes to the development of your game, we’re now getting into what really matters. That brings us to today’s post…

Number 2: Game Flow

When it comes to game design in today’s world there are really three primary types of flow that you game can follow. What exactly is game flow? The game flow, or structure of your game, is how players interact with it and storyline events, quests, missions, etc. It determines whether players can branch out and make the game what they want it to be, or if they’re locked onto a track that guides them into their pitfalls and excitement. Appropriately the three types of flow are as follows: Sand box, Roller-coaster, and a hybrid mix of the two. In many cases the way in which your game engages people, and how it forces them to interact with the environment and progress in the game will determine the types of players you attract to your game.

The most “traditional” game play style, or rather the most frequently used in the past has been that of the “Roller-coaster”. This type of game play is just as the name implies – users begin the game (get on the ride) and are carefully lead through the build up, the climax of storyline, pitfalls, exciting twists and turns, and ultimately the game ends with a rush of excitement. This could also be equated with the experience reading a book gives where there is a definite beginning and a definite ending of things. Many RPGs out there fall into this category, where your goals in the game are explicitly defined (conquer the evil demons of the sea and save the pretty girl) and while these games are a lot of fun, in some ways this system doesn’t always work as well in massively multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPG’s) where you have dozens, hundreds, even thousands of people interacting with one another. This isn’t to say that there aren’t MMOs that pull it off (Guild Wars specifically comes to mind), and this isn’t to say that MMORPG’s that go the route of the Roller-Coaster aren’t wildly fun (as Guild Wars is). This IS to say that in more recent years people have begun to favor a newer breed of game where the options appear limitless, and if instead of rescuing that pretty girl from the evil demons of the sea, you want to go and be an innocent farmer… more power to you!

Enter the “Sandbox” games. In more recent years there has been a big push to these sandbox’s where people can do what they’d like. Similar to roller-coaster games, the name is synonymous with it’s real life counter part, the sandbox. The idea is that upon entering the game, if you decide to ignore the over arching and present storyline (remember our pretty girl), that you can do just that without any significant consequences. This type of game play is sometimes said to appeal primarily to hardcore style gamers, although I’m not sure I fully buy into that philosophy. Often times I’ve found many casual players in sandbox type games who simply enjoy socializing with one another, mining together, exploring, etc, without all the insane time commitment of pursuing the major storyline events. In many of these games political and religious systems can be found, as well as a variety of job occupations. From what I’ve seen however, these games tend to be far more time intensive than roller-coaster games, simply because of the amount of time you need to pour into your character to forge your own path (and be successful at it). While some many not agree with me here, I would say EVE Online is definitely classifiable as a sandbox, as a majority of EVEs content, gameplay, and activities are created and inspired by the players themselves. GTA3 is also considered by many to be a sandbox game. That in itself is an important note: in sandboxes you will normally find a wealth of systems run by the players themselves, like guilds and factions – usually there is also an economy in game that is facilitated totally by players selling their personally made goods.

Finally, very recently we’ve hit a time when some people are discussing ways to make what you could call a mix between sandbox and roller-coaster games. I have yet to come across a good example of how this has been done (or how someone is working on one), I’ve only heard slight mention of it here and there. From what I gather though, there would be a few central over arching storylines taking place at one time, giving users their choice of how to proceed, and along the way providing ample opportunity for players to branch off onto their own paths, while still allowing them to come back to the big storyline. Some may again classify this primarily as sandbox, but I would argue that if at any time there is a great deal of direction coming from quests, storylines and developer driven content, that you begin to get more into roller-coaster elements. If anyone has run into what you’d consider to be a good example of a sandbox roller-coaster hybrid, please let me know! If you’ve ever read one of those “Choose your own ending” style books that plagued elementary and middle schools, you’ll understand what a sandbox roller-coaster hybrid might be like. While the player has choices (perhaps many, many choices!), things are still ultimately “guided” by an over all storyline, while leaving room for player created content. At the end of the day though, all of that is easier said than done.

Ultimately, deciding on what game system you use, or “Game Flow” method you use is going to be vital in developing your game. Like storyline, it will give you direction and more easily help you to make decisions about whether or not a specific feature would fit into your game. Not only will it help you to make decisions, but as a result it will help to shape your game. Direction and determination are absolutely mandatory in game development, and deciding on a Game Flow will at least help you in the direction department 😉

We’ve covered some incredibly important aspects of your gaming environment – from visual stimulus, and the sounds that pull your travelers deeper into your game, to the stories that inspire and the game mechanics that help shape your players’ characters. However, at the end of the day there is one aspect that will bring everything home and determine whether or not your game is bursting with eager players, or an emptied ghost town.

Number 1: Activities, baby!

While friends within games come and go, quests are released and beaten, items are unveiled and later trumped – at the end of the day the gaming community is not unlike society at large; we are a disposable group of people. We love to love the hottest items, spells, houses, quests, but eventually they become something of yesterday and cease to draw as much excitement from the people who have been hanging around your game for a while. Many games falter because they fail to recognize that new content is a must, even if the content you already have is incredible. The typical gamer can crunch through your average game in less than a month and if you’re planning to release a game that has a monthly subscription, or the need to retain players for an extended amount of time, that’s bad news for you. Ultimately the solution to “What next?” and “Why are people leaving?” is to imbue your game and all of its nooks and crannies with valuable content and *things to do*. It is from this area that it seems most of the discontent for games comes from which means that it is not only imperative to have plenty of activities in the game when it first releases, but to follow up on those activities with new things to explore, find, and participate in in the following months and years of the games life span.

Not only does providing and planning activities in the beginning stages of your game design help create a game that will be fun to play, but it may also help to inspire other areas of your development as well. Events can inspire your storyline, and your storyline can help to give you ideas of activities and new plot lines, for example. In many ways this aspect of your game is what will help to build and foster the social community within your game, which is ultimately what ties people to specific games: the friends and community that would be left behind if they were to leave.

Ideally, there are a whole host of event and activity types you can create within your game. Some of them are global style events that involve almost everyone active in the environment at the time. Examples of such events would be those relating to real world holidays like Christmas, Halloween, etc. More often than not those are time periods in games where if there is nothing new going on, your game will lose out against real life in the excitement category. People will choose to spend time doing things other than playing your game, if this is the case. Now, while we at TGS appreciate family time and all, this is bad news for you. Create global events that match up to real life events that will make being inside your environment during this time fun, exciting, and provide the extra bit of holiday spirit for your players. There are also events that are recurring, such as player run elections and hunting parties that give your players something to do year round. Optimize these activities and make them readily available to players so that these are things they can easily take part in and enjoy.