#someone come talk to me about this i have too many thoughts
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I love your Homicipher hc, they are so good! Would you be willing to do some N/ SFW for Mr. Chopped too? Like you did for some of the others? I understand if you don't want to or if it makes you uncomfortable, thank you anyway!
MR. CHOPPED N/SFW HCS
a hc list of Mr. Chopped x reader {an: SORRY GUYS IM POSTING MAINLY HCS RN,,, fics for me take a lot longer than usual so im just posting hcs to atleast get some reach.}
warnings! : smut, cunnilingus/blowjob, idk,,, cuckhold
{an: freaky shit,,,, like hes just a head so its kinda hard to fuck. did give him a section for IF he had a body.. MAINLY HIM GIVING HEAD,, i didnt rly know how to write this im sorry!! def will write more tho,,, im into him ngl}
SFW
what it would be like to be in a relationship with Mr. Chopped.
it would be relatively hard to be in a relationship with him for obvious reasons, though not impossible!
the thought of you makes him happy, and especially when you hold him.
he would have Mr. Silvair help most of the time. usually for the romantic aspects of things though.
while Mr. Silvair doesnt quite understand the relationship, he is glad to help.
being a talking head will obviously raise a few insecurities, so just reassure him that you indeed do love him! he gets his feelings hurt easily.
he absolutely loves when you play with his hair. if you put bows in it or decorate it, that will make it all the more special for him.
the first time he bit you when he was sleeping, had him crying for hours. he felt so bad that he harmed you in any way, and it took a while for him to "recover"
he loves kisses! he always shouts things like "Up, Up" or "Desire, Carry!" just so he can kiss you.
if you manage to get a hold of make up or something, he would absolutely love for you to do his makeup. {he likes to feel pretty}
he is a very sensitive boy, also a crybaby. how cuuuttteee...
if Mr. Silvair gives him a body, {ignore that one ending... we dont talk about it} then he wpuld be even more excited to see you.
the moment he gets a body would mean so many hugs and affection as a thank you for saving him.
he gets picked on a lot by the others so he usually tries his best to come to you.
NSFW
sex...?
sex is definitely a hard concept with him.
while yes, it is possible, just not in the way intended.
you could see him more as a pure object for your pleasure honestly, and he wants that.
whether you are amab or afab, he is perfect for the situation.
ive seen this referenced by another writer, but he would be like a "rose toy" or a "fleshlight" as people call it.
its a secret pleasure to watch you go at it with someone else. {ex: Mr. Silvair or someone.}
if he is gifted a body though, he definitely will pay you back for saving him in the first place.
personally he would be a soft and sensual lover with his new body, rarely going rough unless specifically asked to.
he is more of a giving top. definitely not dominant but is a top. he cares more about your pleasure than his. though, he does get all giddy when you wish to go down on his or something.
he is open to literally anything you want, he would have very few limitations on what he would do, but everything is open for discussion.
again, definitely either wants to watch you have sex with someone else, OR wants someone else to watch you and him go at it. {he would prefer Silvair.}
he definitely likes when you pull his hair or use him. will be submissive sometimes.
he is the type to cry during sex...
omfmg i love him sm
{ made by @whokilledsamara }
#homicipher#smut#homicipher x reader#mr chopped head#mr chopped x reader#mr chopped x y/n#mr. chopped#mr. chopped x mc#mr chopped smut
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Me: I don't really like modern art. Kat: Did you see that Jacob Geller video? Me: I did. I didn't meant that I don't like modern art in a facscist way, just like ... I don't like it. I look at the paintings, at Rothko, and I just don't get it. Kat: A lot of it you have to see in person, I think. The pictures don't really do it justice, especially Rothko, some of those are huge, and you just stand in front of it and it's like ... as close as I've had to a religious experience. Me: I mean, I went to the Museum of Modern Art in Washington, D.C. And I went to the Tate Modern. And whatever the one in Seoul was called, and another in San Francisco, the de Young Museum. I've seen, in person, stuff from Rothko and Pollock and a bunch of the other Abstract Expressionists. Kat: That ... is a lot of modern art museums for someone who doesn't like modern art. Me: I want to like it. I hear the way people talk about it, how a Rothko evokes these emotions in them, and it's like all I can see is paint on canvas. I don't know. Like I'm blind. Kat: You're the opposite of a tortured artist. An art viewer who tortures himself. Me: It's not that. I mean, some of the stuff I really do get something from. It's not all Rothko. I don't walk into every art museum and just groan in agony. But there are this class where ... people like this stuff, and in my head I'm like "people like this stuff?" Kat: They do. I do. Me: Right, and I do believe that. But there's this part of me that's struggling against the human instinct to go "no, they're all lying for some reason, it's a game of peer pressure, or clout chasing". I think that way lies madness. I think that's a trap that people fall into all the time, because they do the typical mind thing, and they say "well if I don't like modern art, no one else must like modern art". Kat: And you're trying to correct for that by ... looking at a bunch of modern art you don't enjoy. Me: Kind of, yeah. I saw Barnett Newman's Stations of the Cross and I thought the idea of it was interesting, the journey of Christ as laid out in only a handful of brushstrokes. But the actual paintings, I just had never felt further from my fellow man than looking at them and trying to understand them. I sat and tried to meditate, to clear my mind, to let some thought come to me, but it was still just paint on canvas. Kat: And you're what, just going to keep going to modern art museums? Me: If I'm in a city with one, sure. Because sometimes there's something that speaks to me, it's just never the Abstract Expressionist stuff. Kat: I cannot imagine doing that, repeatedly viewing something in a genre you don't like. Is it because it's high status? Because you're clout chasing? Me: I don't think so. I think it's just alien to me, no matter how many reviews I've read extolling the works, how many people have explained these individual pieces. And you know, when we went to the one in D.C., we had our son with us, and he was looking at all this stuff too, and when we went out I asked him which was his favorite. He said it was one of the Pollocks, Lavender Mist. Kat: Cute. See, the kid gets it. Me: I asked him what he liked about it, and he said to me, "you can see the drips". Kat: Sometimes that's all there is to it.
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ᝰ RII7E AND HOW THEY ACT WHEN THEY’RE JEALOUS
PAIRING: riize x reader
GENRE: fluff, maybe angst if u really squint and tilt ur head and turn ur phone to the side
WARNINGS: none that i can think of
ᥫ᭡ SHOTARO
— stop because I genuinely believe shotaro wouldn't care. but like definitely not in a bad way! he just seems like the type to be so reassured in your relationship. he knows you wouldn't do anything to hurt him and vise versa. if he spots someone flirting with you, he would honestly just find it amusing. because can he really blame them? look at you! he would sit back and watch the scene unfold. I feel like he also wouldn't have an issue sharing you with his members either. like I feel like the boys would go to you for advice and would love having you around and he would love that! he only ever draws the line whenever he's trying to get some alone time with you and his members keep butting in. he wouldn't be super jealous, but he would more so be annoyed with maybe just a tad bit hint of jealousy. I can see him getting up from his spot and rolling his eyes before pushing away his members. he would shake his head at them before mumbling, "go away! my yn, it's my turn." as he shuts the door on their faces. he would turn back to you and let out a big sigh of relief with a playful smile on his face.
ᥫ᭡ EUNSEOK
— guys, eunseok to me seems like the type that gets jealous but is in complete denial about it. he teases you whenever YOU get jealous so he cannot show you that he gets jealous. bc he doesn't get jealous! fr fr! like pft him? eunseok jealous? no way! or at least that's what he keeps telling himself. but god whenever he sees someone is standing a little too close to you for his liking he swears he feels his eye twitch. and you keep smiling at them. why are you smiling? and did you just laugh? why are you laughing? so many thoughts would raise eunseok's head but he would shake them away and tightly grip on to whatever item he was currently holding. you would then spot him, run up to him, and place your arms around him but he would shake you off. he would mumble something along the lines of "go back to your little boyfriend" and you would immediately smirk at his words. seeing your smirk, he would quickly shake his head at you. he's not jealous! he doesn't get jealous! he really doesn't!!
ᥫ᭡ SUNGCHAN
— oh mf doesn't hide it nor does he try to. he trusts you 100% but he doesn't trust others. he seems like the type to never leave you alone in a gathering but if he has to, he would make it so quick. if he has to leave you and he sees someone else talking you up, he would glare at the other person from across the room and quickly come back to you. he would instantly place his hands on your waist and bring you closer to him. he would without a doubt insert himself in y'alls conversation as well. fake laughing along before sending the other person a tight lipped smile before asking, "what are we laughing at?" he makes sure everyone knows that you two are dating. oh and he would definitely kiss you in front of the person that was flirting with you. kinda in a way to tell them to back off without verbally saying it. but if he has to verbally say it, he definitely will. don't test my man. and please, he acts the exact same when you're talking to his members. he simply just doesn't want to share you.
ᥫ᭡ WONBIN
— ... I feel like there's two sides of jealous wonbin. on one hand, he seems like the silent jealous type. like as soon as he sees someone flirting with you, you best believe he's huffing and puffing. he would scoff at the sight and would clench his jaw as he would see the person continue to try and flirt with you but he wouldn't do anything about it. he would just silently stare daggers at them. and on the other hand, he "jokingly" acts like he's jealous but in reality, he's not joking. this side of him only ever comes out when you two are hanging out with his members though. like he always, and I mean always, has to have an arm, a hand or literally be around you when you two are hanging out with the boys. the boys would try and have a conversation with you and there wonbin was placing a quick kiss on your cheek causing you to revert your focus back to him. and that's why he does it. because he doesn't want you focusing too much on them.
ᥫ᭡ SEUNGHAN
— seunghan seems like the jealous type but the type that doesn't get jealous easily you know? he's the type to not care too much when someone is flirting with you but god when he sees you spending a little too much time with one of your friends that's where he draws the line. you two would be on the couch and then you mumble something about having to leave soon to go meet your friend. and seunghan would not be for it at all. he's immediately pouting and shaking his head. and instead of letting you go and telling you to be safe, like any other normal person would, seunghan hugs your figure tightly and places a leg over you to stop you from leaving him. when you giggle and tell him to let go, he immediately says no and continues pouting at you. "wouldn't you rather spend more time with your amazing, awesome, handsome boyfriend?" he would ask, offering you his best puppy dog eyes causing you to giggle and realize what was going on.
ᥫ᭡ SOHEE
— god sohee would get jealous but literally just the pouty jealous kind. he wouldn't know how to act or react to someone flirting with you. he wouldn't know what to say when he feels like you've been hanging out with your one of your friends a bit more either. he would literally just pout. he would be so pouty and often times would overthink things which would cause him to get a tiny bit insecure. all sohee ever wants to do is please you so if he sees someone else flirting with you or if he feels like you're spending more time with one of your friends he would simply sulk. and you knew of this too. so whenever you would see him pouting, you would immediately go up to him and place your lips against his while mumbling a soft "I love you." a wide smile would quickly replace his pout and he would instantly kiss you back before mumbling an "I love you more" and just like that all his worries and insecurities would quickly vanish.
ᥫ᭡ ANTON
— anton gets jealous over the little things but here's the catch, he doesn't actually realize he's jealous until he finds himself catching an attitude about it. you two would be hanging out with his members and he would see you getting a little too close to sohee and anton would immediately start losing it. he would act like if he didn't care but as soon as sohee is standing near him, he would purposely bump into him and offer him a lame ass "sorry" before continuing to walk to god knows where. he also seems like the type that would just completely shut down. the boys would try and get a conversation out of him but anton could quite frankly not care less. it wouldn't be until you would see him actively avoiding the members that you would go up to him and he would mumble out a quick, "what? is sohee busy now?" when you finally catch on to his jealousy, you would playfully ask if he's jealous. laughing you would wait for him to deny it but would be in complete shock when he shyly nods while avoiding your eye contact. ironic that he's tall because at that very moment he would feel so tiny and vulnerable. and silly, god he would feel so silly.
#riize imagine#riize masterlist#riize angst#riize fluff#riize x reader#riize imagines#riize scenarios#shotaro imagine#eunseok imagine#sungchan imagine#wonbin imagine#seunghan imagine#sohee imagine#anton imagine
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Don't mind me, just revisiting the plot (again) and dying over this line (again). (These screenshots are going to be abysmal, but you'll get the point).
"To stop now would dishonor those I have wronged to come this far."
Yeah he's talking about Mythal (earned or not) and Felassan and Lavellan and Varric...but the way it applies to HIM, too, is what absolutely guts me.
Long post ahead...
Solas realizing that Lavellan doesn't care about how others see him or want to use him under the inquisiton, that HIS motivations as he has shared them are enough for her and worth defending against those who would tell him he's something he isn't. Solas, for the first time, being confronted with the realization that one these new elves he does not see himself in will still go to bat for him.
"You came here to help, Solas, I won't let them use that against you."
(Is he duplicitous? Yes. But intent on working against Corypheus? Undoubtedly).
“How would you stop them?”
“However I had to.”
“...thank you.”
Solas grappling with the fact that it wasn't just a one off, that this Dalish woman being faced with "hypotheticals" he's desperately been trying to get her people to entertain is jumping in head first, pushing back and disagreeing with him but never treating him worse for their differences and always admitting when he's helped shape a changing perspective. Solas daring to ask for help and marveling at the fact that he receives it, that the same woman who asked if it might some day be possible to live alongside spirits, who did not immediately shoot down his critique of THE CHANTRY REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE SPIRITS AS LEGITIMATE BEINGS (GAH), who did not laugh at him for saying he preferred their company most days, this woman, is going to drop time and resources during war time preparations to personally help his friend.
And then, when he is too late and has once again failed someone he considers a friend, he disappears within himself, where he has always gone to exact punishment for the weight of the lives he believes he's betrayed. It almost works, too.
Psych. Lavellan doesn't want him to grieve alone, to stare at the place in the Fade where his friend used to be and think of all he should have done differently.
“The next time you have to mourn, you don’t need to be alone.”
“It’s been so long since I could trust someone.”
“I know.”
“I’ll work on it. And thank you.”
And still she unbalances him, accepts him, wants more. Solas is sharing a personality that brings him the closest he has ever been to his spirit form, and it is ENOUGH for her. Existing as he has always dreamt of is all takes to earn her loyalty, respect, and eventually love.
But does she stop there? No. She doesn't chafe at this random apostate who speaks with certainty and unapologetically delves into a past he believes worth preserving, even at the cost of questioning her culture as it currently stands.
The very woman he once thought of as a mistake that HE unleashed upon the world is asking to be a part of his, not because of what he can bring to the table, not because she needs a right hand man, and certainly not because she thinks he has some well of power and intelligence critical to winning over enemies she’s willing to join for "supervisory" purposes (cough cough hi Mythal). She bears the weight of choices that can and will lead to death, to pain, and when it wears on her she relies on him, not for solutions but so that at the end of it all she might smile with someone who knows her heart and the good she tried to do amidst a sea of terrible options. She wants to be known, no inch of her unturned, and worse, she thinks she knows him. But how could she? This is no longer who he is, it is merely the remnants of what he destroyed to make a world at Mythal's whim.
“You’re an admirable man. Not many people know who they are the way you do.”
“Thank you. Both for saying that and…for seeing that. Few in this world can see me instead of just seeing a pair of pointed ears”
She. Sees. Him. Every part he slowly is realizing he wants to be known for and even a few he thought he could hide. And then he gives it all up. Because he woke to a new world where spirits and elves and mages were so far removed from the role they played in Arlathan that it can only be yet another mistake he caused and must fix, never mind the fact that the dwarves have forgotten why they fled underground millennia ago in the first place.
The friend who tore him from the world he loved, urged him to take physical form? She is dead, too, never mind the fact that she ignored his urging for a different path, nevermind that he killed and tore and hurt in her name because otherwise what was losing the part of himself he loved for?
"A spirit becomes a demon when denied its original purpose.”
“It hurts. It always does, but I will survive.”
“You bound it to obedience, then commanded it to kill. That is when it turned.”
He may no longer recognize where the Dread Wolf ends and where Solas begins, but if he gives up now and permits himself the chance to remember, the pain he caused himself and others means nothing, because he did it all for Mythal and in his final discussion with her, regardless of what Veilguard tries to convey, she does not release him from his position as her agent.
And maybe that's part of why I'm so angry, because EVEN BEFORE TRESPASSER, the fragment of Mythal that ends up in Morrigan could have freed him, but she does not.
"I am sorry." He whispers.
"The failure was mine," he tells her, voice trembling. "I should pay the price."
Silence.
And do we get that "what we did, we did together" psuedo-fake ass-absolution, the one that, if given enough time and safety to put himself first he may have realised he doesn't truly need to pursue the things he deserves, that make him feel finally like himself again? No the fuck we don't.
"As am I, old friend." She murmurs.
Looking through the lens of Veilguard, this isn't an apology, it's a condemnation. It's Mythal tormenting him one more time, twisting the knife deeper, agreeing that it is Solas alone who has brought them to this point, who deserves to be punished. And then she reminds him what they are to each other, what he is supposed to be to her. What he must become again.
"It isn't abuse if I ask," Cole says in his personal quest.
"Not always true," Solas shoots back.
So he recommits to the friend he gave up his nature for, he refuses to let himself remember that Lavellan learned the full truth of his identity and still begged him not to mourn alone. Even so, he still cannot quite forget.
Var lath vir suledin. Our love will persevere.
I wish it could, vhenan.
And so he pushes onwards, spending almost a decade denying himself his true nature and regretting that he ever gave it a chance to come through because now he KNOWS that this world is different and a little broken, but it's a world he could be a part of because of the woman and the friends that made a place for him. It is a world that doesn't necessarily need to be restored as much as it might need renovation, but that is not the world Mythal demanded of him when she let him kill a remaining piece of her. And any solution but that means the hurt of taking a body, of hurting the titans, of time and time again being called on by one evanuris to fix a problem they all caused, was for nothing.
And a Pride of that magnitude, that sinister an origin, has a long, long way to fall.
And then that same uppity little shit has the audacity to tell him it's not too late, that he can turn back.
He kills again. He kills again. He kills again.
He kills a friend.
He fails to prevent the Evanuris from wreaking havoc a second time, wrenches another innocent into his war, and when they ask him about the woman he calls vhenan, he feels the mask stifling him begin to suffocate. But he never lets it fall, because to surrender now is to place her broken heart atop the pile of regrets he's been holding up like Atlas crumbling beneath the weight of the world itself. Because he still thinks it selfish to want the things that make him feel like himself again, so they need to be taken off the board entirely.
"To stop now would dishonor those I have wronged to come this far."
If he gives up now, his entire corporeal life has been a betrayal of many, but worst of all, he will have ruined himself for nothing.
But then she's there. A little older, a little sadder, and still looking at him like she did the night he almost broke and instead carefully removed any suggestion that she had ever belonged to anyone but herself.
"Didn't you hear me?" Her every action screams as she kneels to meet his gaze like he did the day he took her arm (another failure, another sacrifice he cannot let be for nothing).
The tombstone in the fade is his greatest fear, but it is not his fate. Why? She will not let it be. It cannot be his din'anshiral if she is not beside him.
Lavellan may not have understood the depth of exactly WHEN Solas first came somewhere foreign and uncertain to help, but she never once failed to keep her promise. She refuses to let his initial desire to do good be held against him any longer. And when she sees him accept that not-quite-absolution-definitely-more-of-a-power-play from the god that saw what he was capable of and molded him into a weapon, she finds her in to make sure he doesn't walk off alone to mourn again, never again will she lose him to the expectations others have of him. No doubt she wants to find a way to sink the fingers of her good hand into that spectral visage and tear it away like he wishes to do to the veil. But she is not here for Mythal. She is here for her heart, and for the man who has been carrying it since the moment her lips met his in the fade ten years ago.
“No orders to kill, no conflict with its nature, no demon.”
She forces him to see that the only remaining betrayal is to lock himself away one more irreversible time. All that's left to lose is the piece of himself he cherishes more than his greatest victories: all that he has to gain comes from making sure the love that was given to him at Skyhold, in the moment where Varric saw all he was capable of and still tried to bring him back home, was not given in vain.
"There is no fate but the love we share." She tells him as soon as Mythal's too-little-too-late platitudes send shudders through his body.
Banal nadas ar lath'ma vhenan.
It will not be so terrible a place, so unforgivable a betrayal if he can finally dare to put himself first. If, unlike that night in Crestwood, he finally gives in not to break, but to make himself whole.
There's a codex entry in Inquisiton about a spirit of wisdom who is summoned by researchers and only after a very pleasant conversation do they realize they made a mistake and never successfully bound the spirit in the first place, that it chose to speak with them of its own accord.
"I am not certain the spirit would have talked so freely had it been shackled at the time," writes the author of the entry.
I keep thinking about this alongside the datamined line of Morrigan saying, "And so, the Dread Wolf is stopped by, of all things love."
But that isn't quite right, is it?
Because in the end, of course the Dread Wolf could only ever freed by, over everything, love.
#solavellan#solas x lavellan#solas dragon age#lavellan#inquisitor lavellan#dragon age inquisiton#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age veilguard spoilers#veilguard spoilers#mythal#fen'harel#dread wolf#cole dragon age#varric tethras#veilguard
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luffy saved sanji, nami and the entire crew in a way. everyone knows this. everyone talks about this. but what people don't talk about enough is this: luffy saved zoro too.
now here's the thing right. zoro might not have had any ongoing struggles that were keeping him up at night. no one might've harmed him physically or mentally for a long time. the last wound of his that never closed up right is kuina and that happened a decade ago. in many ways, he's fine. he is. is he?
the thing about zoro is that before luffy, he has been running on spite. on anger and determination and sheer fucking will. and i must say, spite is an excellent motivator. but it's also really fucking tiring. it's hard to make it stay because ultimately, you run out of fuel. your body was never made to house that much anger. fire burns bright, but it burns. and zoro has been burning for a long time.
this is how he keeps the fire going. this is how he stays spiteful, angry, hurt. he digs into the wound kuina left at nights he finds himself sagging under the weight of the responsibility he carries. he pushes his fingers into the flesh (you promised kuina) and twists (you told her you'll become the world's greatest swordsman) and he bleeds.
(you promised.)
enter: luffy.
I'm going to be the king of pirates, he had announced and zoro had felt a pang of longing because that was his dream. luffy wasn't carrying a life someone else couldn't live with him. he was not running on all things red and furious. he beams, bright and sunny and so incredibly real that zoro wants to avert his eyes and says, do you want to fight them with me or do you want to die here?
of course he joins his damn crew.
here's the thing right. luffy saved him not from his enemies, not from his own mind. he saves him like this: rubber arm wrapped around his waist and flinging him around. sheepish laughter that follows a shamelessly unapologetic sorry, zoro. he saves him like this: he lets him walk into the jaws of death when he challenges mihawk. he doesn't stop him. because he will never stand between him and his dream. because he is so certain he will get back up. because he is so certain of his strength, of his tenacity, of him.
the first thing zoro says after kuina defeats him for the last time is, kill me. because he has tried so hard and it still wasn't enough. it would be a honourable way to go- to die trying to achieve your dream. but after mihawk cuts him up, he doesn't say, kill me. he cries. he cries and he says, i will never lose again. is that okay with you, king of the pirates?
he makes an other vow, this time it's to a boy he barely knows. and he knows he will keep it, because he is waiting for him. he thought zoro would come back. and so he would.
luffy saved zoro by straightening the fingers that have been clenched into fists for a long time. he tells him he will achieve his dream. he tells him he's the best and he says it like it's just another fact, another truth of the universe. luffy saves zoro by showing him that it's so much more fun to chase something because you love it, see?
now, wado doesn't feel like chains weighing him down. it just feels like the comfort of an old friend. now, he burns brighter than ever but not with spite. his fire is warm, now, just like his captain. he has his nakama to protect. he has a love that waits for him outside of this dream that seems larger than life.
luffy saves zoro by holding his hand and dragging him out to the sea with that wild laugh of his, saying, look! isn't this so much better?
and it is. it is.
#zolu.... save me zolu save me#romantic platonic whatever it doesn't matter they're best friends and soulmates#monkey d luffy#roronoa zoro#one piece zoro#luffy one piece#one piece#zolu#zolu meta#vi talks
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goodnight song is what we thought it would be and more 🌙
even before this was fully released, we already had expectations and clowning related to it. and a line from this song was the first real clue we had that the rumored album was actually true. so cpn aside, this track will always be special. there is an official explanation to this song and everyone is free to keep it that way because it’s a perfectly good message that goes well with the entire album. however, as with all other kinds of art, it is up for interpretation. and who’s to say there aren’t alternative meanings. it’s not like he can publicly say that oh, this is about the loml. anyway, while i was reading through some reactions to it i found one that perfectly describes it:
There is not a word about love, but every sentence is filled with love. Every word in the lyrics is a clear love story that people who know can understand at a glance.
and that’s the beauty of this song. it doesn’t have love in big bold letters but to those of us who have paid attention for years, we can see it.
so what did we see? …..
let’s look at the lyrics. ����
Using a bowl of noodles, a bowl of soup
To flush away this piece of sorrow that warms the heart
Thinking again of her, or of him
Just think of it as an after-meal refreshment
i was already freaking out with the first line! sure, you can say he is talking about a comfort food that makes him less lonely but then the next part goes that he is thinking of someone. who could it be? who was the someone who nagged him to eat noodles? not only that, the same person who always asked him to eat well? YIBO.
i think this is common knowledge by know. the infamous wonton noodles. even his solos cannot deny what they saw in the cql bts. even in lrlg, this is a usual scenario.
🟢 "I'll cook noodles for you"
🟢 “Get off the car and eat noodles”
🟢 "Mom said, when you come back, let me cook noodles for you."
🟢 "I'll cook noodles for you. Where can you eat your first meal if you're not at home?"
yibo making sure that xz is eating well and vice versa. as a cpf, this is one of those clues that made me side-eye their relationship. it’s not even the fact that wyb made sure he eats cause any friend can do that — but the lengths he would go to make sure xz did. it was different.
and now xz gave his answer of how he saw that. in this first line alone. it warmed his heart. it was and is an act of love in it’s most basic form 🥹🥹🥹🥹
i also feel like this is a case of if you know, you know. if that first line didn’t hit you in the head then no amount of explanation will.
Don't be too pessimistic; need to try to become habituated sooner or later
The one left behind has no choice but to bear it
A 'good night' left for my past
this to me is him having to get used to the distance from a lover because of his work. but they have no choice but to bear it and try to live through it by the good night from the last time they met/spoke.
How many people, must take how many corners
Before being able to find their other half
Don't retreat, seeing your single-mindedness
Is able to disperse my anxieties
xz acknowledges how hard it is to find your soulmate. your twin flame. and most likely, harder to keep it. but as explained here, that person’s single mindedness or maybe you can say that person’s devotion towards him is enough to soothe his anxieties.
when you hear single mindedness or maybe single minded focus, doesn’t that remind you of yibo? and i love how cpfs went back on how persistent yibo was when it comes to xz (evidenced by mostly cql bts). some saw it as being a gremlin or him being a naive boy with a crush but clearly xz was comforted by it. most likely even now. as yibo said, what he decided when he was 21, he will continue on till 81. that level of commitment to xz is what he needs to drive away the anxieties.
Using a short phrase, a bowl of food
To take away the entire night's loneliness
Time to stop speaking, the sun's about to rise
Thank you for the warmth you gifted me
Thank you for the 'good night' you gifted me
there we go with the sunrise again 🌄 and love and affection equated with warmth.
this is a really sweet way to describe love. it’s not about someone being with you at night but one who can take away the loneliness with just a good night. no kiss. no hugs. nothing barely physical mentioned. but something as simple as a good night. that at the end of a long exhausting day, or whatever happens, he has that someone who will wish him a good night.
i’m gonna cry 😭😭😭😭😭
and oh someone pointed out that the lyrics, you can see Y & B. YIBO. what a coincidence!
-END.
P.S: feel free to interpret this song however you want. this post is not a space to argue about what other meaning it could have. if you want the official meaning, his team already released that. there is no point in debating or trying to convince me of whatever. this post is on the cpf side so if that’s not you, why are you even reading this post lol.
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It's crazy to me how many ppl are wildly misinterpreting the CaitVi scene in 2x08 and think Vi just jumped Cait out of nowhere. Like that was basically a full on love confession and apology in not so many words. Vi's currently lamenting the fact that (in her view) all the choices she makes are wrong and she's forever gonna be alone because of it. Cait comes along and communicates to her in two playful sentences: "I know you well enough to know what you'll do next and I trust/care about you enough to support your decisions and take steps to help you achieve your goals". To Vi, who's been in it alone in trying to protect what's left of her family since forever, that means A LOT. Especially coming from Caitlyn, who Vi knows still has every reason to hate Jinx, but apparently cares more about Vi than revenge. And apparently trusts Vi enough to trust her judgment that her sister has changed. So yeah, love confession. It's also an apology or, at the very least, a sign to Vi that Caitlyn's returned to herself and is no longer clouded by rage. Act I Cait never would have even thought about doing what Act III Cait did. She probably would have restricted Vi's movements so she didn't even get the chance to see Jinx. Vi also knows this. Seeing the girl you care about return to herself while she proves with her actions that she sees you and cares about you too? Of course it played out the way it did.
(Sorry for the ramble. You're one of the few people I've seen with sane takes and I had to get this out and talk about it with someone)
LEGITTTTT also literally the way cait said youve grown a bit predictable had me folding like a lawn chair im sorry im no better
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I don't think Gibson gets enough credit for how skillfully he extricated himself from the sodomy allegations. Long post to follow ->
The evangelical mindset is "we are constantly under siege from both invisible powers and our fellow man (and even one's own thoughts), every waking moment is nonstop spiritual battle" so Gibson framing himself as too weak to refuse advances (without spiritual backing, naturally) is a brilliant play for Irving's own anxieties while also putting him in the position to be the shepherd rescuing one of his flock. A direct appeal to the Victorian bourgeois savior narrative, expertly played. He's given Irving a script so familiar and one he's so eager to act out he doesn't for a second question its veracity.
And now we depart to the realm of pure speculation (oh boy my favorite) but I always wonder what exactly Gibson told him, and how much it actually corresponds to what we hear Irving scold Hickey for. I wonder if something got lost in translation (Irving heard what he wanted to hear which is not quite the same as what's actually being said). I think Gibson is perfectly capable of shopping Hickey to save his own skin no question, but that scenario doesn't quite jive with how surprised/concerned he is that Hickey and Irving apparently had a chat about the situation. Surely Gibson didn't think he could say "I was coerced" without some kind of follow-up? It could be a feint, he's just acting to try and keep Hickey from holding a grudge (I think Gibson knows with brutal clarity that you do not want to be on Hickey's shitlist) but his reaction reads to me like he's seeing his fib start to spiral out of control. Of course, one of the grand themes in Terror is people not being as smart as they think they are (or, more charitably, that even well-conceived plans often shipwreck on the shoals of human unpredictability) so it could just be an example of a reasonable plan blowing up on contact with an unreasonable person, as individuals are a universe unto themselves and truly unknowable to each other. Or maybe he really didn't think Irving would do anything, because he asked him to keep it quiet? Maybe that's how it usually goes, everyone agrees to keep it quiet-- sobering thought.
Still, it intrigues me to think about Irving as the wildcard in Gibson's plan, not Hickey-- bringing baggage to it that Gibson didn't include in his calculations. I wonder if Gibson heard the lecture, how many of his own words would he recognize? I can see the shape of a communications breakdown, where a tactful "the temptation was overwhelming, I couldn't resist him" becomes "he used overpowering force" or "I didn't come forward because I was afraid" becomes "he threatened me into silence". Not unreasonable assumptions for Irving to make, honestly, I just think its interesting to play with the idea that they are assumptions and not part of Gibson's ass-saving explanation. Just no accounting for what happens in the pressure-cooker of the evangelical brain!
Obviously the darker read here is that Irving can't understand a messy gay situationship despite spending years at sea is because he is homophobic (while desperately refusing/denying/fighting his own desires) or was himself party to coercion, either towards himself or someone else.
I just think its interesting to think of how it might have played out if Gibson and Hickey been surprised by say, Hodgson instead-- who might have given them a stern "I don't want to catch you two not at work again" but otherwise let the matter slide, or Little, who I can see loading them down with donkeywork but refraining from escalating because doing so means talking to Crozier and Oh God, Please No.
I keep coming back to the question of whether or not Gibson was ready/intending to burn Hickey as badly as his lie makes it seem. While I think he's perfectly capable of it, but it seems like such a risky move when his confession (owning what Irving has no real proof of, I'm more familiar with the early 19th century legal situation on land but the standard of proof for sodomy specifically was actually pretty high) could just as easily backfire on him rather than exonerating them both. We only have Gibson's word that he acted for their mutual benefit, and even if he's telling the truth it seems like stepping on a landmine: no one seems to think Hickey would hang on his accusation, so he's going to still be around after a potential flogging and presumably pissed off. Obviously its a bad situation all around but I am so curious about his own risk/reward accounting. For me, I really enjoy imaging him trying to play master manipulator to Jirv who is absolutley not a player and mostly lets Jesus call the shots. Very funny to me to be so ambitious and skillful and willing to play the Great Game but it all comes to nothing due to human folly. Thesis moment.
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𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 [𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄] — 𝐒𝐊𝐘𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐘
one / two / masterlist / wattpad
summary: when someone asks you out, things get tense between you and Skye and you aren’t sure how to deal with it.
warning/s: the usual warnings that have come with this fic lol.
author's note: and here's the last part! this was a fun one to write, and it's always fun to write for naomi since there aren't many characters of hers i can write for!! (still salty terra nova was cancelled 😭). So yeah, hope you guys like it 🥰
Skye was recording some bits at a studio in the city and we were supposed to hang out after, but I didn't have much else to do and ended up arriving early. As she finished up, I hung around to let her finish, snooping around the building and chatting with some of the staff there.
As I was, I ended up getting caught in some conversation with one of the production assistants, Anna. It was always nice to get to know new people, but I didn't realise it was more than that until she started to flirt with me. Maybe she always was and I was too dumb to notice, but I was awkwardly flattered.
Still, she was interesting and we seemed to get on, getting lost in conversation for about ten minutes. Only when Skye finally finished in the studio and left to find me did the conversation end.
"There you are," she said with a smile when she saw me, before noticing Anna. "Oh, hello."
"You're Skye Riley," Anna noticed with an amazed smile, before glancing at me. "You know, I thought you were playing me when you said she was your friend."
I exhaled with amusement, shaking my head. "Not playing."
She gave me a surprised look before looking to Skye politely. "Sorry, how rude of me. I'm Anna. I work here. Big fan of your music."
"Nice to meet you, Anna," Skye greeted with an easygoing smile.
"You done?" I asked Skye, referring to her work.
"Done," she confirmed.
I nodded, before offering a friendly nod to Anna. "It was great meeting you, Anna. I should go. Skye and I have plans."
Anna nodded. "Of course, yeah, you mentioned..." She paused, hesitating as she glanced shyly at Skye before meeting my gaze. "Did you wanna, maybe, hang out some time?"
I raised an eyebrow, hoping my surprise wasn't too obvious. Skye swallowed awkwardly when she realised what was happening.
"Sorry, I'll give you guys a moment," she mumbled before leaving to wait down the hall.
I didn't know what to think as I looked back to Anna, seeing her waiting hopefully. "I– sure."
Anna breathed out, relieved, as she pulled out her phone. "Great. You wanna put your number in here and I'll text you so you have mine?"
I nodded, body working on autopilot as we exchanged numbers. It wasn't that she wasn't lovely – she really was – but I wasn't used to someone actually outright flirting with me like she had been. Plus, I was always awkward when it came to pretty girls.
"Got it," I said when my phone dinged with a text from her.
"Awesome," she said with a bright smile. "I'm expecting a message," she added jokingly.
"Sure," I said with a nervous smile.
She chuckled before straightening up. "Right, I'll let you go. See you soon, Y/N. Hopefully."
"See you," I said as I watched her leave, still surprised at how someone as pretty as her actually wanted a date with me. And so confidently too.
Shaking my head, I rejoined Skye who was lurking at the end of the hallway, watching the whole encounter as much as she tried to pretend she wasn't.
"Hey," she said when I stopped by her side. "Ready?"
I hummed as I fell onto step with her, the two of us going to the lift.
"So, who was that?" she asked whilst we waited inside. "You got a date?"
I shrugged, still replaying the encounter in my mind. "We just got to talking and I wasn't expecting her to be interested in me, but... yeah. She gave me her number."
Skye nodded, eyebrows raised slightly. "Cool... so are you interested?"
I glanced at her, unsure. "I don't know. I just wasn't expecting it. You know I get talking to people when I'm bored."
She smiled slightly. "Yeah, I do. It's so annoying how social you are sometimes."
I rolled my eyes playfully and continued, "I'm not sure if I'll text her."
She hummed, looking to the lift doors as they opened, and stepped out. Her lack of advice was disorienting me.
"Do you think I should?" I asked, falling back into step with her.
"What?" she asked, glancing over at me with an unreadable expression.
I quirked a brow, wondering if she was even listening. "Text her back?"
She nodded slowly. "Well, do you want to?"
I felt my cheeks grow warm as I looked away, smiling nervously. "I don't know."
"It can't hurt, can it? It might be nice."
I chewed on my lip, pondering her words. I wasn't even sure why I was overthinking it. It was just a date.
"Just take it easy though," she said nonchalantly as we walked out the building and down the street. "You don't wanna lead her on or anything."
"True," I agreed. "Might be worth a shot though. We did get on. The spark was there."
"Just don't get attached," she warned, glancing sideways at me. "You tend to do that."
It took a moment for her words to digest, and when they did, I grew offended. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"What? You do," she said lightheartedly, but it did nothing to put me at ease. Probably noticing my expression, she tried to amend her words. "Sorry, what I meant was– you go all in, y'know? I just don't want to see you get hurt."
I blinked, looking ahead. "Wow. Thanks."
"No, I didn't mean it as an insult," she said quickly, hand wrapping around my arm as if to get my attention. "I'm just looking out for you, Y/N."
I didn't know why her words stung, but they did. Was that seriously how she viewed me? As someone who got overly attached?
It made sense, in some way, especially after everything that happened with us. But it still hurt coming from her, probably because deep down I knew she was right. Except, the only person I'd ever gotten attached to was her. My mistake, I was well aware.
Suddenly, she stopped in front of me, facing me with a guilty frown on her lips. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. It wasn't nice of me to say."
I looked down. "Doesn't matter."
"It does," she said firmly, squeezing my arm. "Really. I'm so sorry."
A little embarrassed, the familiarity of the situation creeping in, I shook my head. "It's fine. Let's just go find somewhere to eat."
To my relief, she gave in and we both continued walking to find somewhere. Admittedly, the tension was still present on my side, my feelings stewing with each step. It was disheartening, knowing she thought of me like that, joke or not.
We ate in an awkward silence, and Skye made attempts at conversation but I couldn't force myself to entertain them.
"How's your burger?" she asked, nodding to my plate. "Food here's nice, isn't it?"
I hummed halfheartedly, picking at my fries.
She sighed softly, losing her smile. "Y/N, I didn't mean what I said before."
"It's fine," I told her once more.
Her eyes flickered between mine knowingly. "You're upset."
I merely shrugged, looking down to my plate, only making her sigh again.
"You should go out with her," she said, as if that was what I wanted to hear and would make up for what she'd said. It only made me feel worse.
I ignored her, instead responding, "Let's just talk about something else. How's your tour prep going?"
She frowned slightly, clearing her throat. "Erm, fine, I suppose... Not long left now. I'm just finalising outfits and..."
As she talked a little about it, my previous anger and hurt had long faded into disheartenment. It was frustrating to admit to myself, but Skye's reaction wasn't one I'd hoped for. I wanted her to tell me not to go out with Anna, that she didn't like the idea. And that's when I knew I was delusional.
And definitely not over my best friend.
After paying for our food, Skye and I left the restaurant, awkwardly lingering outside.
"I should go," I spoke before she could. "I've got some work to do."
She nodded, sensing my mood and not saying anything else. I hesitated, noticing the discomfort in her expression, before pulling her in for a hug. It wasnt her fault I was so conflicted – she couldn't have known anything about where my head was at and taking it out on her wasn't fair.
She returned my hug, relieved. "Talk later?"
I nodded as I pulled back, offering her a small smile, hopefully letting her know that I wasn't upset. At least, not at her.
She returned it, grateful, before squeezing my arm gently and letting me go. Meanwhile, I knew I needed to fix whatever was wrong with me before it got worse.
—
I did end up texting Anna back and we'd arranged a date a week later. Part of me thought it could be good to put myself back out there with someone lovely like Anna, but the other part of me also used it as a fast track to get over whatever feelings I had for Skye.
Despite our brief argument, Skye was supportive when I told her, being a typical best friend who wanted to know all the details when she could. I believed that if I played the part hard enough, it would feel real and I'd get over her. But no matter how much I tried, I just couldn't.
The date was great. Not a thing I could fault and yet I still returned home feeling deflated and hollow. Anna was the perfect date and we had a lovely time bowling, but all I could think about was Skye and how much I wanted it to be her. It was awful, from that perspective, and definitely made my scrambled head worse.
As I took a moment to collect myself on the couch as soon as I entered my apartment, my phone rang. Speaking of the devil...
"Hey, Skye," I answered tiredly.
"Is your date done? I wanna know everything!" she said excitedly.
I sighed, massaging my head. "Yes, but–"
"Awesome! I just finished some boring photo shoot and am on my way back, but I thought I may as well stop by yours, that cool?"
I scrunched my face up in disagreement, her face being the last I needed to see right now. "I'm actually kind of tired, Skye."
She laughed, sending shivers down my spine. "Oh, grow up, baby. See you soon!"
Before I could protest, she'd hung up, leaving me to drag out a long groan as I leaned back in irritation. So much for self-deprecating for the rest of the evening.
By the time I'd gotten into my pyjamas and freshened up, there was a knock at my door. Reluctantly, I went to answer it, seeing Skye on the other side.
Her smile faded when she noticed my expression. "Oh, no, how did it go?"
I turned around, flopping down on the couch, face-first. "Average."
The door closed and she approached the couch. "No wow factor?"
I shook my head as she took a seat beside my head, resting her hand in my hair and stroking it gently which did nothing to help with my racing heart.
"It's okay," she said softly. "At least you tried."
I exhaled into the couch cushion before sitting up, facing her as I leaned against the back.
"What wasn't great?" she asked sympathetically, leaning her elbow on the back cushion and watching me carefully.
I shook my head, unable to hold her gaze and instead focusing on the loose thread from the cushion. "It was fine. Anna was lovely. But I just... yeah."
She hummed in understanding. "Sorry."
All I could do was shrug.
After a moment, she lifted her arm out, extending it. "Come here."
I hesitated, unsure if this was the best next move. But I felt like crap and Skye was my best friend first and foremost. So, I crawled over to her and let her pull me in for a hug against her chest. She stroked my hair again, kissing the top of my head and making me sigh with comfort.
"You wanna talk about it?" she asked, voice mumbled as her lips were still pressed to the top of my head.
I shook my head gently.
"Alright." She continued to stroke my hair soothingly. "Wanna get your mind off it? We could watch a movie."
I swallowed thickly, not in the mood for anything right now.
"Or I can leave and give you some space," she continued, seeming to notice my mood.
As much as I hadn't wanted her here, I now didn't want her to leave. Shaking my head, I sat upright. "No, you can stay. We'll watch something."
She searched my eyes with a hint of concern. "You sure?"
I nodded, rubbing my face with my hands. "Yeah. I just need to pee. Pick a film, I'll be back."
She nodded and I got up to go to the bathroom, using it as a chance to splash some cold water on my face too. I sighed deeply, pushing away my conflicted thoughts for the time being and returning to the couch.
As I took a seat, I noticed some snacks on the table, but the weirdest assortment of them. There were cookies, some carrot sticks, hummus and a bowl of nuts.
"Er... what is this?" I asked Skye with confusion, glancing over at her as she returned from the kitchen with two glasses of juice.
"It's all I could find," she answered, before shooting me a disapproving look. "You really need to go shopping."
I cracked a small smile as she set the glasses on the table and took a seat beside me.
"Hey, there's that smile!" she exclaimed with a satisfactory gun.
I rolled my eyes lightheartedly, stifling my smile, and instead distracted myself with eating some carrot sticks. She grabbed a handful of nuts and got comfortable, pulling her legs up on the couch.
"Thanks," I said softly, gratefully.
"You don't need to thank me," she retorted, glancing at me, but I couldn't look at her without feeling strange.
I leaned back and got comfortable, and Skye started up a film on the TV. It was easy enough to settle in and the film was a well-needed distraction from everything. But naturally, I was falling asleep halfway through it. It didn't help that it was late, I was already pretty tired and Skye was extremely comfortable.
By the time the film ended, I was half out of it, in that weird in between state of awake but asleep. My eyes were closed and I was barely paying attention until Skye sighed from beside me.
"That wasn't that bad, y'know," she decided. "I thought it would be worse given the ratings."
I hummed quietly, acknowledging her words but not really listening.
"You didn't even watch it, did you?"
"I did," I mumbled as convincingly as I could.
She chuckled, her shoulders moving and waking me up in the process. "Liar."
A yawn escaped my lips as I forced myself to sit upright, off her shoulder. She was watching me with amusement.
"Comfy?" she teased.
Too sleepy to care, I answered, "I'd apologise, but it's kind of expected if you let me lay on you."
She laughed wholeheartedly, brightening up the whole night for a moment. "You're lucky I find you comfy too."
I sighed tiredly, sitting on my side and leaning on my elbow, propped up against the back of the couch.
"You feel any better?" she asked, and I looked up at her through my eyelashes.
"A bit," I mumbled. "Thanks."
"Stop thanking me," she said with a soft smile, making me scrunch my face slightly.
"Sorry."
She rolled her eyes playfully, stifling a laugh, and I yawned again as I watched her. It could have been my fatigue-induced state, or the fact that I was hopelessly in love with my best friend, but I couldn't stop admiring how beautiful she looked before me. No makeup, messy hair, sparkling brown eyes, cute smile.
It was wrong of me to stare, wrong of my eyes to trace the arch of her brows, the slope of her nose, the curve of her lips... I'd imagined kissing her many times before, but I'd never wanted to actually do it as much as I did now.
She smiled, oblivious to my daydreams, and mimicked my pose, leaning on her elbow on the back of the couch, way too close to my expression. "Whatcha thinking, huh?" she asked playfully.
My breath hitched as my eyes lowered to her lips, only inches from mine. Time stood still. All it would take is a second, but could I?
No, I couldn't. I couldn't ruin everything because of a silly desire.
Swallowing thickly, I moved back and looked away, acting as nonchalant as I could. "Just tired."
She fell quiet as she sat up straight, and I wondered if she knew what I'd wanted to do. Maybe I'd messed it up anyway. It certainly hadn't helped with my conflicted thoughts.
"I should go," she realised. "You should sleep."
I nodded, unsure what to say, and then I saw her making a move to clear up the snacks on the coffee table.
"it's fine, I'll sort it," I said awkwardly, standing up.
She glanced at me. "You sure?"
I couldn't meet her eyes, too hot with shame. "Yeah."
"Okay," she said softly, before going to the door to pull on her shoes.
I lingered awkwardly until she opened the door, glancing at me briefly.
"Goodnight," she said.
"Night," I muttered.
She left and I closed the door behind her, releasing a deep breath. How had I messed things up so easily? All I could hope was I hadn't made her uncomfortable, but it was impossible. Even staring had overstepped, and it was just like she'd said to me a year ago – it was written all over my face. How utterly embarrassing.
—
That evening haunted me long after, it replaying in my mind over and over like a bad dream. So much that I couldn't bring it in myself to face Skye, not whilst my thoughts were a jumbled mess.
Two weeks passed and I kept our contact to the bare minimum whilst I tried to figure my feelings out. I wasn't sure if I could be her friend anymore, as much as I wanted to be. But it wasn't fair on her if I still had feelings for her.
She messaged me, but I kept my responses vague. My only relief was that she was leaving for her tour in a week, so maybe it would be easier not seeing her as much. Maybe it would've been easier to stop being her friend if I distanced myself long enough.
But it was stupid to think that, not when we'd just reconciled and I thought she wouldn't notice my absence.
I was at my apartment one afternoon when I got an unexpected visit from her. As soon as I opened the door, I raised my brows with surprise.
"Skye? What are you doing here?"
Her eyes met mine sternly. "You're avoiding me."
"What?"
She pushed past me gently to let herself in, leaving me no choice but to close the door after her and spin around.
"At first, I thought you were still upset because of your date with Anna," she started, making me wince, "but then you kept being distance and I just– I don't know what I've done!"
I sighed, feeling stupid for thinking I could get away with it. "You haven't–"
"Don't bullshit me," she snapped, fixing me with a glare. "I'm not stupid."
Her hurt expression forced me to look away, the guilt sinking in.
She took a deep breath before asking in a gentler tone, "What is it? Talk to me."
I tensed my jaw uncomfortably. "Nothing."
"Stop lying," she ordered, before taking my chin and turning my face towards her. Worried eyes found mine. "What is it?"
I pulled back in a knee-jerk reaction, feeling a lump form in my throat. "Don't."
She frowned, confused. "What? Did I do something wrong?"
I sighed deeply, avoiding her gaze. "I can't do this... I'm sorry."
"Do what?"
I swallowed thickly, struggling to find the courage but knowing it needed to be done. "I can't be friends with you anymore."
She paused, taken aback, and her voice broke my heart when she finally spoke. "What? What are you talking about?"
I shook my head, looking down at the floor.
"What?" she repeated, growing impatient, and it only made the whole situation worse.
"I can't..."
"Look at me."
I forced myself to look up, the guilt pressing on my chest when I saw her wounded expression.
"What the hell are you saying?" she asked carefully, searching my gaze. "Is this because of what happened the night of your date? The last time I was here?"
I grimaced at her bluntness, making her tense her jaw. So she'd noticed then.
"It is," she realised.
"You were fucking right, okay?" I spoke abruptly. "A year ago, when we argued and you– you said what you did."
"I was fucking high all the time," she interrupted angrily. "I didn't mean any of it."
"But you did," I retorted, frowning, forcing myself to hold her stare otherwise this was all for nothing. "Deep down, a part of you did and, fuck, it hurt so much because you were right, okay? I– I was fucking in love with you. And I know it was foolish of me, but it was true."
Her eyes widened slightly, stunned, but I couldn't seem to stop now that I'd started.
"It was horrible and it ruined everything and that's why I can't be friends with you. Because I thought I was over it but I'm fucking not, okay? And– and the other night, I didn't mean to make things weird. But my head is a mess and I don't know what to do because all I wanted to do was fucking kiss you, and I know that's wrong, it is. And I'm sorry, but I can't keep being friends with you and put you in this position again. Especially not now."
I was shaking by the time I'd finished, heart racing too fast for me to keep track of. After almost a decade, I'd finally told her the truth. And it didn't feel any more liberating than it should have.
She swallowed hard, looking down with furrowed brows as if trying to digest my admission. I'd been so focused on getting it out of me that I hadn't even had time to anticipate how she could react.
"You were in love with me?" she finally spoke, looking to me with questioning eyes. "You're in love with me?"
I almost scoffed, eyes watering. "Like you didn't know? You said it yourself, Skye..."
She frowned regretfully. "What I said to you that day was awful. It wasn't fair of me. And yes, maybe I did know, but it– I wasn't uncomfortable... I..." She hesitated, before admitting, "I was in love with you too. I just– you deserved better than me. You still do."
I blinked back my tears as I studied her closely, with confusion. There was no way that was true. How could she have thought such a thing?
She stepped forward, slowly lifting her hand to touch my face, gauging my reaction. When I didn't push her away or step back, she cupped my cheek, thumb stroking my cheekbone, and my whole body felt like it was on fire.
"I wanted you to kiss me," she said softly, eyes flickering between mine. "Last time, I– I thought you were going to."
I blinked, taken aback. "What?"
She frowned, looking down momentarily as she said, "I didn't want you to go on that fucking date. But I wasn't going to be selfish and stop you. I just– I care about you a lot, Y/N. You mean the world to me. You always have."
Rendered speechless, I didn't know what to think or say. She'd reacted in a way that I'd never anticipated – never dreamed of – nor thought was possible.
Her dark eyes found mine once more, too close to be anything but a blur of golden flecks.
"I don't want to be friends either," she murmured, before pressing her lips to mine.
My eyes widened with surprise and then she tugged me closer and I instinctively relaxed into her, eyes fluttering close. Her lips were warm and tasted like berries, moving against mine in a perfect rhythm. My hands fell to her hips, goosebumps dancing all over my skin, and I couldn't seem to remember a single thing prior to this.
When we pulled apart for air, every part of my body felt aflame. My lips were tingling and she was still so close, too close for me to find words.
"Maybe things would've been different if I'd been honest in the first place," she spoke softly, breath tickling my lips, only reminding me of the feeling of hers against them.
I didn't know what to say, too stunned by the truth of her feelings.
"I missed you," she admitted, hand lowering from my cheek and to my chest. "It was only two weeks, but I thought I'd ruined everything."
"I'm sorry," I managed to get out, not intending to hurt her.
She shook her head. "Don't be," she assured me, before hugging me tightly.
I let out a quiet breath and wrapped my arms around her, sinking into her embrace. It was still a lot to accept – that she'd loved me too. That she did, even now.
"You haven't said much," she noticed, pulling back with a stifled concern.
"It's just a surprise," I shared, not wanting her to second guess anything. "I really thought... I thought you only ever saw me as a friend. Still trying to process it."
She smiled a little, understanding. "Yeah... I wanted to tell you sooner. Years ago. I almost did. Many times. But everything got bad and it just..." She sighed regretfully. "I didn't want to pull you down with me. That version of me wasn't good enough for you."
I frowned, looking between her eyes. "That's not true."
"It is," she said knowingly. "But it's okay. I want to be better than that girl."
"You are," I said sincerely, taking her hand in mine and squeezing it gently.
Her eyes twinkled as she smiled hopefully. "I hope so. For your sake."
I couldn't help but smile too, touched by how much she cared.
"My tour kicks off at the end of the week, but I'd really like to take you out on a proper date before then," she said, taking my other hand in hers.
"It can wait," I reassured her, "I know it's full on for the next few days–"
"No, no, just one," she cut me off eagerly, squeezing my hands. "Before I have to go and won't see you for ages."
I stifled the urge to laugh. "Okay, but if it's too much, Skye, I can wait until–"
Before I could finish, she leaned forward and kissed me, surprising me for the second time. I was too taken aback to react, and then she pulled away and I felt my cheeks heating up with embarrassment.
"That's got to be my new favourite way of shutting you up," she said with a satisfied grin.
I groaned quietly, flustered, and she laughed at my dismay. I suppose there could have been worse ways.
#naomi scott#skye riley x you#skye riley imagine#skye riley x reader#skye riley#smile 2 imagine#smile 2
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A little Eddie whump character analysis deep dive.
And defending symbrock while I'm at it and why I think movie Eddie was actually well thought out as a character and not just because "the stereotypical macho blonde asshole would not have been popular."
I'm exhausted so hopefully I didn't mess up the details too bad. Been a while since I read the comics.
Sprinkle in some of my ADHD so expect a bit of rambling. I added some gifs because I do love a picture book.
It's canon that Eddie Brock was abused by his father growing up. And the abuse was mostly emotional, lack of love, and lack of concern.
And gentle reminder that not everyone handles trauma the same, no matter which kind, and I feel like the way they wrote Eddie for the movies showcases another side to that trauma versus the comics. There's so many little details that even if it's just Tom being the amazing actor that he is portraying that side and not actually having those details written for him, it's still amazing.
Because Eddie's father was cold and emotionless after he lost his wife during childbirth. And of course Eddie tried everything to gain that love, just to be constantly subpar and never good enough for even a second glance.
After an accident involving drunk driving where Eddie hit a child, their relationship only got worse. And later in the comics, he disowns Eddie completely after he loses his job.
The movie version of Eddie is the broken version of that trauma.
He tends to shy away from situations where you'd assume he'd rush in to, like saving Mrs. Chen.
Trying to help or inquiring when he notices Maria missing. Anything that involves complex emotions. He's a reporter, yes, and he's cordial when he needs to be, but he seems to stick to his job and otherwise keep to himself. They don't exactly show that he has any friends, just Anne. So he's probably introverted because of the years of abuse and having to feel like he has to do everything alone with little to no strings attached.
Even simple things like getting into Anne's emails can be misunderstood. It's not malicious, but more misguided. He loved Anne. He didn't do what he did with intent to get her in trouble. But his poor decision making is probably also a part of not actually being raised and not knowing how to handle certain situations such as actually talking to your partner before you do things on your own? So much could have been avoided. And Eddie had good intentions of getting rid of Carlton Drake, but ruined his own life and Anne's as well because he didn't think things through.
He can't handle his emotions well (might also tie into the noises issue he seems to have that are not related to Venom, a possible trigger for him).
He has a lot of nervous ticks that also tie in with someone growing up in an abusive household. Emotionally stunted ticks. Like holding eye contact when someone he cares about is upset with him and he doesn't know how to fix it (because everything he does is wrong).
Even something you might think is simple, like apologizing, have had negative consequences as a child and might be why even though he's no longer in that situation, his brain isn't used to connecting any good emotions between them. He's probably not used to apologizing sincerely because doing so never meant it would change the outcome.
His mannerisms get worse when he's particularly anxious, like when he might have thought Venom didn't want to come back just as Anne when she left and never wanted to come back.
Again, because he pushed them away, just like Anne. Again, because he messed it up. And again, because he didn't know how he was supposed to fix it.
Because Eddie cares so much even though his head is always such a mess. Makes me think his dad had a say or two about Eddie constantly groveling for his attention and the way it might have made him seem weak, and Eddie in turn stopped himself from letting himself be so open and able to talk about these issues because of it.
His inability to form and/or hold any kind of positive relationship is a good telling sign.
He grew up vying for love without success. He doesn't know what a healthy relationship is supposed to look or feel like long term, even though he tries.
He probably just looks for some level on comfortable routine in his day to day with someone, assumes that's the best he's going to get, and hopes for the best. Any change and it throws him completely off center. He's not used to communicating in a relationship when he grew up talking to a wall.
Also why I think he handles being with Venom so badly. It's not the eating heads and it's not the whole 'alien living in my body' ordeal.
If something isn't obviously positive it feels negative to him in his mind, which makes everything worse. He's selfish in needing to keep his mental state positive. It no doubt contributed to his alcoholism.
He became a people pleaser. Not in the way of gaining attention, but because he's constantly trying to avoid any negative sentiments directed his way. He's already damaged. He doesn't want to have to feel worse.
Eddie is in constant fight or flight with Venom without knowing what the symbiote will do next and how he, Eddie, will be perceived. He becomes very anxious, and later, angry. He's always walking on eggshells.
But the relationship is different with the symbiote than it is with Anne. Even if Eddie doesn't explicitly say it, he feels safe with Venom. More able to let that rage out that he couldn't before. And because he doesn't feel like the symbiote is going to actually hurt him, when his stress gets to him he tends to lash out at it. It's a lovely little cycle of abuse and Eddie really needs therapy.
Venom didn't fully understand the layers of Eddie's traumatized mind yet in LTBC, which is why I think it lashed out as well. Like Anne had with Eddie. Again, it's different though. Venom understands enough to see through that mess and see that Eddie doesn't mean anything with what he says.
It never does damage with malicious intent to Eddie, comedic acts aside. Not even with the fight between them in LTBC. It breaks Eddie's nose twice just to heal it immediately twice, and doesn't leave him with any lasting damage at all.
Because it cares about Eddie. And because it was never meant to harbor emotions, it's probably going through the damn gambit having to feel everything through Eddie and feeling just as hurt by him.
This is also why I think Eddie is constantly complaining in TLD. He's again in constant fight or flight and too comfortable with Venom, so he's just lashing out. But you can tell the symbiote takes none of it to heart, sometimes even seeming to ignore his remarks completely.
Maybe after a year with Eddie it finally understands the pain underneath all that stunted emotion, anxiety, and anger. That, and Eddie no longer drinks his negative emotions away, which means he has less ways to calm himself when he gets too stressed.
Through everything, Venom is the only one who has the ability to see the issues that are deeper. It stayed through all that mess and decided that what was under the baggage was worth holding on to, without Eddie having to try and explain why he is the way that he is.
#symbrock#eddie brock#venom#brother if that ain't true love idk what is#don't get me wrong im fond of comic Eddie#but Tom Hardy's Eddie Brock is *chef's kiss*#probably forgot stuff but i've been thinking about this all day#need to get it out my brain#so tired i forgot i got rid of the tw paragraphs but forgot to remove the tw LMAO
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Arcane and JayVik have me fucking apoplectic. (Arcane S2 spoilers below cut.)
At first I was like: oh, so they’re going to parallel Vi + Jinx somewhat, Science Bros instead of Violence Sis, brothers by choice rather than blood. But then there was what I call the Infidelity Sequence, in which Jayce’s love scene with Mel was juxtaposed against a dying Viktor in the most bizarre manner, like Jayce was cheating on Viktor—an absolute fucking choice—and other instances of Mel superimposed against Viktor.
So I thought: SURELY it can’t be a “bros before hoes” storyline in the year of Our Lord Faker 2024??? But then they gave us Sky “Fridged Woman” Young and Jayce said Viktor was like a brother to him, and I was like, WOW, they’re really giving us this storyline in this day and age; this should be illegal.
Then S2 Jayce started going on about how he realised his place was in the lab with Viktor. Which was like. Okay. I’m a scientist. Modern science is, in reality, a very lonely endeavour a lot of the time, even as it demands nearly all of your life. I, too, would kill to have someone who would do experiments alongside me, who would share every project and publication authorship with me. Don’t get me wrong: there are real-life scientists who do it together, but more often than not they can afford to do so because they’re fucking married to each other. So. I get it, but it did feel like Jayce was basically declaring he wanted Viktor as a life partner.
And then Act 3 Jayce and the animation doubled down on it. The shadows in the campfire morphing from Mel into Viktor. Jayce telling Mel that for some time, he had been confused about many things. He had finally decided on what he wanted and apparently it’s to get his “(lab???) partner” back. Man was consumed by it—had discarded all other ambitions and dreams and desires for this singular motivation, even as he blasted a hole in Viktor’s chest and declared his partner “died in this room”, driven by a logic the viewers weren’t initially privy to. Oh yeah, and there’s also the oddly erotic fight scene with an avatar of Viktor.
And then then the narrative tripled, quadrupled, fucking Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicles-Neon Genesis Evangelion-Puella Magi Madoka Magica-ed on it. Who had been reading CLAMP in the writers’ room? Come the fuck out; I just want to talk. No, that’s not a shotgun in my hand; don’t worry about it. Transcendant Viktor choosing to stay by Jayce’s body after the end of everything. The storyboard placing the shot of Jayce kneeling face to face with his own corpse with Viktor’s voice line: “…fields of dreamless solitude.” Jayce deciding upon the singular defining desire of his life as wanting his partner back and promising to never let Viktor be alone. Jayce fulfilling that promise. Jayce drawing Viktor in even as his own body shook and trembled. Viktor’s gentle hand on Jayce’s arm. The forehead touch.
You sit there and watch as above ambitions, above desires, above suffering, above every other thing this universe has to offer—across all possibilities, across all timelines, two men choose one another.
And then the head writer of Arcane spoke about how they’re “just friends” and how “important” it is to portray platonic male relationship. My brother in Summoner’s Rift, as if any other emotional portrayal of male relationship in media is NOT about platonic male bonding. It’s fucking 2024, Faker won his 5th Worlds, and Jayce and Viktor are brothers who chose one another out of love, contrasting against Vi and Jinx who had to let go of one another out of love. BROS BEFORE HOES.
So I guess all I have to say is: Arcane JayVik are fucking awesome and they’ll leave you breathless like an ambiguous male-male relationship from a 2000 anime, but after all’s said and done, they’re from motherfucking League of motherfucking Legends.
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Hi! I have been following you for a while and I don't know if someone has already asked you this, but have you ever thought of redraw one of your comics? Like, just to see how much you improved or just for fun?
I hope I have explained myself, because English is not my first language 😅
P.S. all your drawings are so pretty, and seeing how you improve over time has inspired me a lot, and I'm sure it has inspired many people too 💖 keep it up! :D
Hello! Thank you so very much! You know, I really think I should do that some time. Whenever I see notifications for the art I did when I first joined tumblr, ugh it makes me cringe! LOL But hey art is about improvement so if people seeing my old ugly art compared to now gives them confidence in their own growth, then I'm happy.
Also -- this goes for you and everybody else who says this -- please don't feel self-conscious about talking to me and English not being your first language. I really appreciate you making the effort to speak to me, especially you going out of your way to message me in the language I speak. I'm very thankful that I've been able to reach audiences from all over the world so I will never judge you even if the translation doesn't come out right (Your English was great, btw!)
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✮⋆˙Toge Inumaki
Safe words Toge uses (All not used)
NOT PROOFREAD, JUST ONE SEXUAL JOKE, EVERYTHING IS ALL FLUFF. I think.
----Salmon (shake), fish flakes (okaka), kelp (konbu), mustard leaf (takana), Salmon roe (Sujiko), caviar (ikura), spicy cod roe (Mentaiko), tuna (tsuna), tuna mayo (tsuna mayo)
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
It would've been better if someone as lively as you weren't in Toge's life. It's been so hard on him ever since you went on that 3 week mission, leaving him all alone, with no one to talk to.
Of course that's an exaggeration. Yuuta and Panda were there talking to him, but it's not the same when the love of his life talks to him.
It's quite the predicament, really. He thinks that you don't know about his crush on you, but you know that he has a crush on you and he doesn't know that you know. (Good lord-) Toge didn't really hide it well, making it obvious with how much more eye contact he made with you. Who wouldn't pick up on the hints?
As the reasonable person you are, you decided to wait. If he doesn't say anything, you won't say anything about it either. Yuji says otherwise, he wants you to blast Toge's love life on speaker. He's just a little excited, that's all.
Though it also helps you, since you're not too sure how you can reciprocate the feeling back, when you haven't done that much romance in your life yet. It's an odd feeling, you being the target of someone's love, and not it being the other way around. It's hard to think about it when you yourself haven't experienced romantic love. (But it's not hard to know when someone likes you, given they act all weird around the said person)
---
"Ikura." He grumbled, expressing his sadness, kicking a pebble while walking.
It's been 2 and a half weeks, your mission coming to an end in a few days. Toge doesn't know what to do for the rest of those few days, he doesn't even know how he survived the past 2 weeks.
He walked back to his respective room, mind blank as he threw himself onto his bed. Toge didn't have that many missions this morning, but he did feel a little drowsy.
He tried to fight off the sleepiness, he doesn't know why, but he did so.
Toge- slept. He failed the battle against his eyes, sleep weighing down on his eyelids. Although, Toge found it weird when it felt like the best nap he had gotten when he woke up. His hair was oddly well brushed too.
At first, his vision was a little blurry, but as he rubbed it, he saw a silhouette of a face, looking at him.
He jolted up, lowering his scarf as he was ready to use his curse technique, but then he saw your face. Toge lit up to the sight of you, immediately hugging you.
"Toge! Surprised to see me? I got back a little early from the mission!"
Toge nodded and rubbed your back, “Konbu” he whispered, feeling your shoulder blades. He's an odd guy, really. He might've done that to try and tickle you.
"Hello to you too. I know you definitely missed me. I actually thought my mission would end a week early but the curse kept on duplicating and it was..tiring. Anyway, you doing good?”
“Shake,” he nodded from your shoulder. Toge hugged you more tightly, but what can you do? You were away for so long, it's understandable for him to get touchy feely.
"I got us some snacks from my mission, you wanna eat it?" You patted his back, trying to pull away from him. Toge kept his hands wrapped around you, only to release the hug and type out something.
“U owe me. You left me here for too long :(“
You patted his shoulder, smiling at his response, “Of course, what do you want?”
Toge pondered for a second, before immediately typing on his phone.
“Gibe me s kuss”
“Huh?” You squinted, looking at his phone.
Toge pulled his phone back and corrected his mistakes.
“Give me a kiss”
You stopped, looking him in the eyes. He’s become bolder, hasn’t he? First it was hugs, then cuddles, now kisses. At this point, who wouldn’t think that you guys aren’t dating?
"Who's the submissive one now?" You snickered, shaking him from his shoulder. Toge rolled his eyes, typing again as he grunts from your shakes.
"You can dominate me..in bed ;)"
He smiled, you can see it even if his scarf was up.
"Please, I do not want to see you type that out again. You're so cringe Toge."
The both of you were silent, then a sudden burst of laughter cut the silence. It was fun. The comfort both of you got from each other was evident. You shook Toge as the giggles and snorts continued, but Toge was somewhat serious about the previous text before that.
He loved the way you laugh. It was a wonderful sound to him. He always appreciates that he could get a good laugh out of you.
When it started getting silent, he grabbed your hand, still smiling widely.
"Tuna tuna."
"Yeah?" You asked also smiling, reciprocating the gesture. Toge hesitantly intertwined his fingers with yours, lifting up his scarf and looking away.
You giggled a little, getting closer to his face. You noticed his ears turning into a soft pink. "He's so adorable."
Toge dragged his eyes to look at you, trying to maintain eye contact. He made a little finger heart to you, still being a little shy.
"I love you too Toge," you bumped foreheads with him gently, leaning in to his cheek to give a kiss.
Toge felt it. It was warm. He wished it was planted on his lips instead, but he could only hope for more.
"Shake," he purses, but you couldn't see it, his scarf was in the way. He hadn't noticed that you told him a genuine I love you yet, so you repeated it.
"Toge, I love you. Would you do me an honor of being my boyfriend?"
His eyes widened, face snapped to look at you more clearly. Toge hugged you again, this time pushing you into the bed and wrapping his legs around you. He didn't stop hugging you, still surprised from the sudden confession. But he should've expected it.
You laid there for a while, Toge hugging you from beside. Who would've known? He then pulled out his phone in the hug, typing them deleting, as if he were unsure of what to say. He finally managed to make a sentence.
"Can you do the thing again where you focused your cursed energy in your ears to deflect commands from me? Just this once please?"
He showed you the typed out sentence, you wondered why he had to hesitate a little.
"Sure, give me a moment.."
As cursed energy flowed to your ear, you were ready.
Toge took a deep breath, looking at you in the eyes once again and saying,
"I love you"
Your breath hitched, you never expected it to be this emotional. Toge is never this serious before. And he just showed how much he liked you.
You were about to cry, but you pulled into his hug. Finding more comfort and warmth in his arms.
"I always loved your hugs Toge. I hope we can continue hugging for as long as we are able to."
Toge Inumaki nodded, shifting his position to get a better cuddle from you as he big spooned you.
____
Wasn't it nice to know your crush had also liked you too?
____
A convo with the other creator of this account
"You can dominate me in bed💀" 💀💀💀 - signed by c
Its so sigma skibidi toilet rizz🤧 EAWWW not doing that again👹
-Jღ
#fluff#jujutsu kaisen#fluff jjk#jjk fluff#jjk x reader#toge inumaki#inumaki toge#toge fluff#inumaki fluff#toge jjk#toge inumaki jjk#inumaki toge jjk#jjk toge#jjk inumaki#toge inumaki x reader#toge x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen toge#jujutsu kaisen inumaki#jubburb
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"Just yourself be, if weird is you."
I don't often get annoyed by Rhett or Link, and it is probably a strong word to use even now, but...today's Ear biscuits episode kinda made me growl at Rhett a little.
I'm not going to talk about the entire episode, but the guys were answering listener questions, and the last one was about midlife crises, if they have them and how.
Now, as someone who is less than a year younger than Link, I've probably tackled a crisis of my own in the recent times. (You could say my entire adult life has been a crisis, but I won't.) But I loved Link's explanation of his midlife crisis, which was basically finding the limits of how weird he can be without making Christy scratch her head too much. Like, Link basically said he is still exploring what he is and what he wants to be (and I'm not implying he was talking about his sexual identity - I think he meant he is exploring his identity in a broader context of being human). Rhett took this as an opportunity to remind Link that when someone chooses to be "weird", they need to understand that it might impact their relationships. And at that point, I growled.
I'm a weirdo. I spent way too many years of my life trying not to be weird. The funny (not really) thing was, trying to act normal only made me sick, made me behave in a very unnatural, stiff way around other people, and I was miserable. I dare to say, nowadays, after, thanks to a lot of soul-searching, therapy and embracing my true self, I come across much more likable than before. I'm not tense, I don't need to put on a mask, and I am more comfortable with myself, which just makes me more fun to be with. Syre, there are people who think I'm too weird, don't act my age, or make strange stylistic choices. The people I love accept me as I am, and I may have infected them with dashes of self-acceptance, too. So, grrr at you, Rhett.
Seriously though, I love that Link is less tense these days. I know some people are annoyed by him, but I love how he has blossomed from an antsy guy who stuck to wearing t-shirts and jeans to an actual fashion icon. He's less afraid of showing his emotions these days (good and bad), and he's just overall more at ease. I'd hate for his loved ones to try to tame him too much, and I hated the way Rhett managed to make his advice sound like a threat that if Link gets too weird, he'll lose some of his relationships.
Maybe I heard more than was said. Maybe this rubbed me the wrong way, because I see myself in Link more than I do in Rhett, and I recognize the things Link said in myself. I hope to hear other people's thoughts on this episode, and this answer about midlife crisis in particular.
Also, for anyone planning to go hiking with a cat: I love the idea, and if I see you with your cats on the trails I take, I want to be your friend. I have been known to lightly stalk a lady who was in the library with her cat on her shoulders, just so I could coo at the furbaby.
#ear biscuits#ear biscuits 448#grrr#i had thoughts#so i wrote them down#midlife crisis#rhett and link
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its ✨crisis time✨
sooo.... im aroace.
ive kinda known for a long time but i was in denial about it until recently (my internal thoughts are... complicated)
anyways, i want to come out to somebody, but im not sure who. i have a few options so im making a pro/con list (something i do a lot when making important decisions). yes, this is very personal but i need an outside opinion.
Option 1: lets call her Estelle (not her real name)
Pros:
younger sister
im really close to her (we tell each other almost everything)
bisexual, and i was one of the first people she told
already suspects that im aroace
Cons:
shes really pushy
shes gonna be weird about it and ask too many questions
she hasnt been as honest with me as she used to be, so im a little hesitant to open up to her
Option 2: Poppy (again, not her real name)
Pros:
shes my twin sister
we're really close
if i tell her, shes finally gonna stop asking me why i dont get crushes (and stop calling me a liar)
shes pretty understanding
she probably wont ask too many questions
she tells me everything about her life
i know she probably wont tell anyone
Cons:
shes straight (and doesnt know our other sister is bi) so she could be weird about it?
i might need to explain it to her bc shes less educated
Option 3: Clara
Pros:
lesbian, so she'll definetly understand
already knows what aroace means
we've been friend since kindergarten and we text a lot
Cons:
i know for a fact that she's not completely honest with me about her life
i dont know her as well as i thought i did :,(
basically idk... it would be kinda hard for me to be super honest with her, and i would feel weird about it
Option 4: put a PSA on my extended family group chat and then completely disappear (lock myself in my room) for like a week
Pros:
they'll all finally know
theyll stop calling me a liar when i say i dont have any crushes
i can stop feeling like im hiding something when im around them
i gotta come out sooner or later, right?
rip the band-aid off
if i come out first, my sister will probably feel more comfortable when she decides to come out
Cons:
theyre REALLY homophobic
they have extremely... old-fashioned views on stuff like families and gender roles etc
they definetly wont understand
theyll probably call me a heartless robot or smth
i'll probably end up as an outsider in my own family
they're gonna be super awkward around me
long story short: every bad thing that you could say to an aroace... thats what theyd say to me
So... if anyone has advice, i would love to hear it. this is literally eating me up inside, i really want to talk to someone but i dont know who. also (and this is a weird request) my dms are always open, if anyone's out there and wants to chat, please message me and we can work through our crisises together
#aroace#arospec#lgbtq#lgbtq community#coming out#send help#please help#help#need help#gay#gay crisis#asexual#aromantic#aromantic asexual#asexual aromantic
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lorelai gives luke an ultimatum and tells him that he should figure out how april fits into their lives and not how she fits into his and april’s relationship, and this may just be a cultural thing but how were any of you rooting for her? and then she goes and sleeps with christopher?!
#my god she’s infuriating i absolutely hate her#with every passing day it just gets worse#she was just annoying in the beginning i swear#but her character keeps getting worse with every season#luke did not deserve this#i genuinely don’t think luke did anything wrong#the man had to deal with the fact that he had a kid#and that he was absent in that kid’s life#of course he had to take time to figure it out for himself and get comfortable in it#and when lorelai told him that she didn’t want to set a date even until things were okay with rory he agreed no questions asked#she proposed when she knew things were bad with rory and he still agreed!#he deserved the same space#specially considering his life was completely turned over#someone come talk to me about this i have too many thoughts#anti lorelai gilmore#<- i didn’t want it to end up this way i really did want to like her on paper she should’ve been my favorite character#i also want you guys to know that i would’ve stopped watching this by now but im studying#and it’s easier to study watching something that i rarely care about and mostly when jess shows up or when lorelai pisses me off#luke danes#gilmore girls#gilmore girls lb
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