#somehow matt will have to make it up to him ;D

[m00nl1ghts1vt]

Positive - Chris Sturniolo

Pairings - bf!Chris x fem!reader Summary - When the whole house comes down with the flu, you have a hard time recovering which makes Nick jokingly plant the idea of two pink lines in your head. Warnings - established relationship, mentions of abortion, angst, mentions of pregnancy, fluff, crying 🥲 W/c - 1591 A/n - Hey!! Sorry I haven't posted all week 😭 Still working on getting into my inbox, it won't let me see anything on my phone or computer☹️ Also I just want to say thank you sooo much to everyone who has been interacting, I'm almost at 200 followers!!🫣 Masterlist Current Series - City of Love Top Liked - Pierced

Tears prick at your eyes as you look at the pregnancy test in your hands, the word 'pregnant' etched across the little screen. Your chest heaves up and down, and your heart thumps so fast you feel like it could shoot right out of your body. It was nearly two in the morning, your boyfriend was still awake playing a game on his PC, so you knew you had to keep your panic at a minimum.

The last few weeks, the whole house had been fighting off the flu - first Matt, then Nick, finally hitting you and Chris at the same time. Luckily, it cleared up quickly for the boys but not so much for you. Your sore throat and stuffy nose were gone but you could shake the constant state of nausea you were in ever since the seasonal stomach flu took over. Earlier in the day you were telling Nick about how you still felt sick to your stomach, but your other symptoms were gone, and he wittily came back with, “imagine if you’re pregnant.” Nick’s half sarcastic joke made your mind wonder. It wasn’t like you to not keep track of your period, but with the last couple months being jam packed that it slipped your mind. Pulling up your Flo app and noticing you were five days late; you made sure to add a pregnancy test to the weekly grocery order that the boys put you in charge of earlier in the day.

Somewhat in denial, you pushed off the idea of taking the pregnancy test all day, not telling a soul because you were sure it’d come out negative. That’s until the possibility of the test being positive ate away at your brain. 1:48AM and here you were - on the bathroom floor with your knees pulled to your chest, wide eyes, and trembling hands. Squeezing your eyes so tight that you feel a slight burning sensation when you open them. You hold your breath, hoping and praying the test you pinched between your fingers somehow magically changed from positive to negative, but you were wrong. It was positive.

Hot tears stream down your face, a small sob escapes your lips, and you quickly slap a hand over your mouth. You were in the hallway bathroom which was probably the worst place to have a private moment, it was the bathroom all the boys shared. Mentally scolding yourself for not using the half bathroom in the front of the house, you pull yourself to your feet and turn on the sink to splash water in your face. The raw reality smacking you, knowing only you and your baby knew of its existence made your head spin to the point you were dizzy. Despite rarely using protection, pregnancy wasn’t something you and Chris had talked about. He never talked about the future. If you were being completely honest, the dynamic your relationship with Chris had been more of a ‘go with the flow’ type of vibe. The idea of walking in Chris’s bedroom and telling him that you were pregnant with his child made your gut churn. You grip the countertop tight, taking a few more deep breaths in an attempt to fight off the nausea and lightheadedness taking over your body. When the feeling weighs down on you, becoming too much for you to handle, you drop to your knees, flipping the toilet lid up, and emptying your guts once again. You had been puking off sporadically all day long, and you lost count of how many times you had thrown up hours ago.

Continuing to heave violently, you drown out the sounds of Chris calling your name through the bathroom door, “babe? You okay?” And when you don’t answer him, only responding with hurling sounds, he decides to enter the bathroom anyways. Chris’s flu, along with both of his brothers, had been long gone, so it worried him that you weren’t recovering like normal. You look up at him, not fully processing the moment, the positive pregnancy test was sitting on the counter in plain view for him to see. He keeps his eyes locked on you, shutting the door behind him, “we got to take you to the emergency room in the morning, baby.” He shoots you a sympathetic look before hooking his arms around yours and helping you to your feet.

You suck in a breath as he engulfs you in a gentle hug. “Chris,” your voice barely above a whisper, still breathing heavily while your heart thumps violently in your chest. Chris rubs his hand up and down your back, soothing you more than he knew. He plants a kiss on the top of your head, “you need me to get you anything?”

Letting your eyes fall to the test, you let out another soft sob. It makes Chris pull away, confusion etched across his face, “what's wrong?” He asks you, placing each of his hands on your shoulders, concern laced through his voice. You stare into his blue eyes, letting them seize your momentary sadness. You let your eyes fall to the counter, not being able to tear them away from the pregnancy test. Once Chris notices, you can feel his body tense up and his eyes widen like a deer in headlights, “what the fuck is that?”

The harsh reality of his words hit you like a freight train, making you wish he didn't know. You step away, crossing your arms over your chest, and not daring to say a word. “Fuck man,” you watch as he tugs a hand through his hair, picking the test up and squinting in disbelief. “No fucking way!” he spits out in shock, his voice louder than before. Chris tosses the pregnancy test in the sink, placing both hands on the countertop as he leans over. He looked like he just got the worst news of his life.

To you, his actions were confirmation he wanted nothing to do with you or this baby. You panic, pushing past him, slinging open the door, and footing it back to his bedroom. Chris’s feet are quickly in tow behind you once he hears the soft sobs and sniffles you let out while trying to escape his pent-up rage. Finally in his bedroom, you attempt to swing the door shut behind you, but Chris intervenes, pushing it open with his hand. “Y/n,” he sounds quietly, the angry Chris was no longer present, but you didn’t care. His initial reaction had you shook to your core. It’s not like you expected him to be jumping for joy, but you wanted him to be supportive and not flip out like he did.

Now in Chris’s closet, you shove clothes into one of your spare duffle bags, not letting your eyes meet him. He has his body pressed against the door frame, blocking your only exit, “you’re not leaving.” You wipe your tear-stained cheeks and look up at him, “you don’t want me here.”

Chris’s face contorts with a mixture of frustration and empathy, he takes a deep breath before sitting on the floor with you, “I want you here, baby, I do. I'm just- I don't know.” Your face was swollen, and your vision was blurred from crying, but you could make out the pained expression etched across his face. A few tears slip from his eyes, and he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you closer and planting another kiss on your forehead as he rubs your back in a soothing manner. Anywhere with Chris was your safe place, knowing your boyfriend brought you so much comfort, you didn’t care about breaking down in his arms. You let the sobs erupt from your chest as he hugs you tight, “shhh, we're gonna be okay.”

“I-I’m so sorry Chris,” you choke out through your tears. Chris pressed his cheek to the top of your head, running his fingers through the ends of your hair, “none of this is your fault.” His soft tone relaxes you, helping you push your worries to the back of your head. Chris guides you through deep breaths, wiping the leftover tears from your cheeks once you’re calm enough. Letting his hands drop to your lap, “whatever you want to do, I’m here,” he reassures you. You suck in another scattered breath, nodding a few times before pulling the words from your throat, “I can’t get an abortion, Chris.”

“Then you don’t have to, Y/n,” he eases while rubbing a hand up your thigh, “it doesn’t matter what option you choose, I’m not going anywhere.” Throughout your relationship with Chris, you had never seen him with this much emotion. A few tears slip down his cheeks and his lip bottom quivers before he pulls you into another hug, this time tighter than before. Tangling his hand in your hair, “I love you.” You strangle out a laugh, “I love you," knowing how vulnerable the two of you looked on the floor of his closet, bawling your eyes out at 2AM.

In a way, the revelation broke through a comfort barrier the two of you always held onto so tightly. Chris being scared to commit and you having a hard time with expressing what you actually wanted from him. The thought of starting a family together freaked you and Chris out to no end, but both of you were ready for the blessing placed upon you.

He pulls back abruptly before pressing a kiss to your lips, “we’re gonna be great fucking parents.”

🏷️ - @lvrsturniolo @thepubeburgler @unknvhx @m11rx @ribread03 @emely9274 (if anyone else wants on my tag list just let me know!!)

[starlightandfairies]

Hiii 🫶🏼 I hope you're still up for doing an Elijah request! 🤗 I can't get this man out of my head haha

Soo it would be an idea where they met somewhere in Mystic Falls and immediately felt some bond between them, so it happens that they start falling in love (she's human but knows about vampires) but she's too afraid to get hurt so she also tries not to get too close to Elijah. One night he sees some stranger following her home from the Grill and even starts attacking her, Elijah is immediately there saving her and taking her home with him to treat her wounds (mostly some scratches) and he's just super worried. There she realizes that Elijah would never be the one hurting her and they finally share their feelings with a lot of kissing and cuddles afterwards and he holds her, telling how much she means to him.

Oh I hope this is not too weird at all 🙈❤️

Description: Upon meeting Elijah Mikaelson, the feelings start to come but in fear of being hurt, the reader decides to keep her walls up to protect herself. This changes after Elijah protects her after being attacked.

Warnings: fluff, small angst, physical assault (mild), she/her pronouns, maybe swearing?

*Requests are open, please send through as many requests as you want, check my character list and requesting rules.*

Thanks so much for making this request! I can never get sick of Elijah, this man is always on my mind and please feel free to request again if you wish :) I really enjoyed writing this, thank you again :D

Key: Y/N = Your Name, POV = Point of view

Word Count: 2,125

First Person's POV

Tonight at the Grill was a ‘live acoustics’ night, some of the performers were good and others were quite frankly not that great. Bonnie, Elena and Caroline were off on the next big adventure for the vampiric save-the-day business and while I knew about all the vampires, witches, werewolves and all that extra fun stuff. Besides Matt, I was the only human in the group and somehow I was pushed aside to be kept ‘safe; despite Matt always being dragged into the whirlpool of drama even if he didn’t want to be. 

“The music is wonderful for the atmosphere tonight, don’t you agree?” That voice would haunt my dreams, haunt my every thought, I couldn’t fathom how gentle and warm a voice could sound. I glanced to the side, shooting a polite smile to the impeccably dressed man and nodded in agreement. 

“I do agree, I feel like I’m in like a cute little romance story, the warm lighting and the music-“ I cut myself short, realising I was babbling to a random stranger who more than likely did not care for my ideas and thoughts. 

“I can see how you would see that.” Oh, gosh- those eyes! That smile! This man would haunt me forever, picture perfect and everything I would want in a man. I continued to share a polite smile with the man, fiddling with the straw in my chocolate milkshake and turned myself slightly to face the man a little better. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you…?” Realising that he was waiting for my name, I placed my drink down and took his hand. 

“Y/N L/N” He softly cupped my hand, shaking it and proceeded to share his name.

“Elijah Mikaelson.” I wish I could’ve hidden my reaction better, my eyes went wide, and my smile flattened for a moment before I quickly made sure to continue to be nice and polite. Elijah carefully rested my head on the bar, took a small sip of whatever his drink was and gazed at me with a quizzical look. 

“You know who I am…” His tone was neither harsh nor hurt, Elijah seemed to have suspected my knowledge of his name and he even seemed curious by the idea of my knowledge. 

“I know of your brother Niklaus… Elena told me about you, I think she might have exaggerated a bit. You don’t seem like the antagonist she kinda painted you out to be. From what I’ve heard, you’re the nicer brother… the noble one and I'm sure first glances can be deceiving but… I don’t know- you don’t seem like a bad man.”  He briefly licked his lips, eyes shooting up to the ceiling and seemed to be contemplating his next moves. 

“I suppose you know-“ 

“That you’re a…” I leaned closer to whisper so people passing by wouldn’t hear. 

“An Original.” 

“You don’t seem to be phased.”

��Team doppelgänger has built up my immunity to supernatural beings.” I let out a weak chuckle, cringing internally and turned my focus back on my drink. I wanted to keep speaking with him, I really did want to keep speaking with him but I knew the world that I happened to live in and I didn’t fancy the idea of being bait or hurt as collateral damage. 

“It was really nice to meet you Elijah but I have to go.” He nodded, that handsome smile appearing once more, his actions made me gush and brought butterflies into my belly as he grabbed my jacket and assisted in placing it back on. 

“I hope that you have a good evening, Y/N” 

“Same to you Elijah.” He seemed to have a thought pop into his head, I stopped in my tracks, allowing for him to have the benefit of the doubt and give him the chance to speak his mind. 

“May I have the pleasure of seeing you again?” 

“Maybe… There’s always tomorrow.” I knew I had given myself away, I could feel my heart skip a beat, I’m sure he could hear it, his facial expression didn’t change but I could feel that he knew what I was feeling. 

“Have a good evening,” I whispered, brushing past him to carry on my way. 

+++++++

I had seen Elijah a couple of times since our first meeting, we had small conversations and I tried my best to conceal my heart, I didn't want to get close to this man despite enjoying his presence, his voice and the true appearance of his gentlemanly ways made me fall into a daydream greater than any story or dream I could ever have or read. 

The next time I saw Elijah was three months after our first meeting, as I said we had multiple different meetings and they were all the greatest moments of my life despite how much I tried to protect my fragile heart. I had left my home for the park, I wanted to read outside of my home and get some fresh air away from the stuffiness of my bedroom. I rested the picnic blanket underneath a large tree, I read three chapters of my book before I felt a presence looming nearby, I placed the book to the side and stood up, surveying the area for a figure and jumped in my skin seeing Elijah approaching me. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you, may I join you?" I nodded, smiling at the man, watching as he unbuttoned his shirt and sat down with me on the picnic blanket. He gently picked my book up, staring at the cover with intrigue, I observed him with butterflies growing in my stomach, a blush wanting to form on my cheeks as I continued to drown in what was possibly a huge crush for the Original Vampire. 

"Ignite Me by Tahereh Mafi... I'm not sure I've heard of this one before." 

"I doubt you would've, I don't exactly picture you reading a book like this?" He smiled, tilting his head slightly, a deep chuckle leaving his mouth and he handed me back the book. 

"Why is that?" 

"Well... I don't know, I picture you reading older books nothing from the late 20th century to the early 21st century." Elijah briefly nodded in agreement, I smiled proudly at my guess and fiddled with the tassels hanging off of my bookmark. The vampire took off his suit jacket and began rolling up the sleeves of his button-up, I bit the inside of my cheek, begging myself to remain calm and avoid giving away any kind of emotions being revealed. 

"Enlighten me, will you though, please? What's it about?" I cleared my throat, leaning closer to him with joy forming, giddy that he was showing interest in something that I liked and enjoyed. 

"It's the third book in the series, I've read it before, and this one is one of my favourites. Essentially the series is all about control some people have these powers and the leaders are trying to control these people. The relationship of the main characters is what I happen to enjoy the most about it, I love how Tahereh created their bond from..." 

"Why did you stop?" Elijah gently questioned, his face furrowing in concern, I wanted to cringe but I forced the words out before I could let that show. Taking a deep breath, I turned my gaze back to him, scrunching my face up briefly and proceeded to explain to Elijah what was going through my head. 

"Whenever I ramble on to the Salvatores and all that, it's clear that they don't care and I'm not wanting to force that onto you. I'm sorry." Elijah tutted, shaking his head and holding out his hand for me to take. Hesitating for a moment, I finally rested my hand in his, holding my breath for a moment and kept my eyes focused on him as he rested his other hand on top of mine. 

"You do that too often, Y/N, I can see you trying to protect your heart and you have a wide range of information waiting to come out and you shut yourself down because you expect everyone else to do that. I hope you find someone... someone who makes you realise you don't need to do that." 

"Could possibly end up being you, Elijah," I whispered.

+++++

When someone unknown came into Mystic Falls, it was always a concerning event, the vampires were always the most suspicious of strangers and most of the time they were typically right for not trusting the stranger. It was late when I left the grill tonight, Elijah was growing on my mind more and more, and I would be hit with a wave of memories at random moments. 

"Up ahead, there's an alley to your right, walk down it. Try anything-" 

"Okay... I understand." I whispered, complying as I walked a little quicker and turned down the alleyway. I cried out as I was instantly shoved against the wall, my head ached and the world spun around me, I bit back a sob as I hit the ground and hissed as the gravel bit into my skin. I kicked off my heels, not fancying a broken ankle and lept to my feet running towards the street but missed as the man tackled me to the ground and which resulted in blood slightly trickling down my forehead and more cuts forming against my skin. 

It felt like something out of a vampire movie, I heard a whoosh and then a light thud. Elijah appeared, holding the man against the wall effortlessly with one hand and easily compelled the man to walk off and not commit any sort of crime again. I let out a few sobs as the pain sunk in and the adrenaline started to fade away.

Elijah swooped me into his arms, effortlessly taking me to his mansion and rested me down on his obnoxiously large bed. He crouched down, gently cupping my face in his hands, observing my facial features and swiftly disappeared somewhere before running back. 

"Are you okay?" He questioned, focusing on grabbing the things from the first-aid kit to treat my wounds. 

"I'm okay..." I whispered, hissing as he wiped an alcohol wipe across the graze on my palm and watched as he apologised profusely for inflicting any added pain onto me. Elijah was so attentive to my needs, he cleaned the blood and dirt away from my cuts and grazes. Covering them with bandaids, doing what he could to assist in caring for me. It was as he was lingering for a moment, observing my form that I realised that Elijah Mikaelson would never hurt me. He would never cause any harm to me, Elijah Mikaelson would protect me and I knew that I wouldn't need to worry any longer. 

"You wouldn't hurt me..." I whispered, staring at the vampire as he grasped my face and held eye contact with me. 

"Y/N L/N I would never dream of hurting you, you... you're perfect... Y/N you are the epitome of perfect, I haven't met someone as intelligent, kind, sweet, and funny in a long time. Y/N I love you and I hope that you'll allow-" I pushed myself closer to him, carefully cupping his face to kiss the man who had possessed my dreams too often. 

"Elijah, please, never let me go, I can't keep guarding myself-" 

"Shhh, I've got you." He kissed my forehead, pulling me into his arms and pushing himself to lay against the headboard of his bed. I inhaled, holding onto the warm and mesmerising smell of his cologne, I curled into his chest and hummed gently as he rested another kiss on my forehead. 

I felt protected, Elijah was my guardian angel, and he made me feel warm and gooey. Made me giddy and the butterflies a constant swarm in my belly, I fiddled with his hands, staring at the family ring that rested on his finger and glanced to him as he pulled my face to meet his. I hummed as he rested a kiss against my lips, sucking in another deep breath and curling in closer as he strokes my hair, his touch comforting and loving. 

"Can I stay here? Just in your arms? Where I'm safe and with you, you Elijah who looks after me and takes the time to listen and know me?" Elijah's smile made the butterflies come to life, my cheeks flushed red and his simple words reassured me for an infinity of time. 

"Always and forever." 

[cowboybarzy]

enemies to lovers with mat with D 13 and D 22. media girl x star player where mat loves to get under her skin because he’s dumb and can’t admit he likes her. she breaks up with her horrible bf and one night when she is out with the team something changes

thank you so much for the request!! this turned out very smutty but also a long part of plot so I hope you like it <3

13. “Let me help you forget that jerk.” & 22. “Do you feel what you’re doing to me.”

word count: 6.5k

warnings: drinking, jerk ex boyfriend, SMUT (18+)

"Oh, hey guys." The elevator door opened and a bunch of laughing hockey players stumbled out.

"Hey, (y/n)! Not going back to your room are you?" Oliver broke from the conversation to greet you.

"Yeah, actually. Kinda tired," you replied, hoping the stained tears you'd just dried in the bathroom weren't that obvious.

"Oh, come on. The night is young. Come out with us." He pointed to the guys behind him, including Mat, who looked at you with an expression you couldn't make out.

"Had a bad night so far, I think I just want to stay in," you said, shaking your head and forcing a smile.

"Well, what a better way to end it with a drink?," Matt Martin chimed in, his charming smile almost convincing you.

"I think she doesn't want to come. So let her be," the other Mat said, not even looking at you, and turned away from you and started shooing the guys in the direction of the exit. The guys let it go and with a wave they started following Mat.

As you watched them walk away, the tone in which Mat had said it sunk in and the sadness you had just felt turned into anger. Looking back on the relationship you had with Mat over the past few months, you could tell you really didn't have any. You were friendly with all of the other guys, coming to work was always a blast and with being around the team so often you had developed many inside jokes and gotten to know most of the very well. Except Mat. You could tell he had a problem with you but you didn't know why when everyone else was so nice to you. When you walked into a room and Mat was joking around and acting goofy, this side of him immediately stopped when he saw you. He was always acting quiet and when it came time for you to film content with him, he was acting like his normal self when the camera was on, but the second it was off and it was just the two of you, he was back to quiet and mumbled backhanded comments.

"You know what," you snapped out of your thoughts. "I think this night does call for a few drinks."

Wally turned around with a victory shout and threw his arm around you when you caught up with them.

***

"Alright, now tell me why you're downing these shots like you want to black out." Wally's face was already a bit blurry when you moved your head too quickly, but you finally forgot your boyfriend. Sorry. Ex-boyfriend.

That's right. After three years, you finally saw through all of the red flags and gaslighting and had enough of his bullshit. Or maybe it was the fact that you caught him cheating that made you realize all of these things.

"Oh, no, no, no. I am not drunk enough to spill my secrets to you." Wally acted all offended and again tried to the information out of you and finally flagged down the waitress to get you more shots. She delivered quickly, placing four more shots in front of you.

The first went down easy, so the second should go down just as smoothly. But you never got to that. "I think you've had enough to drink," Mat's voice carried over all of the noise from the bar. Your head snapped in his direction and you saw him staring at you intensely.

"He speaks." You lifted the little glass in the air. "And who are you to tell me I've had enough to drink?"

"You couldn't even get that question out without slurring, so maybe that." His stare somehow got more intense the longer you stared back. It might have something to with the fact that you crept the shot glass closer and closer to your lips.

"You don't like me. And I don't listen to guys who don't like me." You closed your eyes and took the shot. "Anymore."

"And there it is. Boyfriend?" Wally got your attention again and slightly pushed him.

"I don't wanna talk about him." You pouted and while Wally grinned victoriously, the other guys went back to their own conversation. A few moments passed, where you started to fast track through your memories of your relationship. The good and bad ones, but the bad ones stood out. "Why are all guys such idiots?"

All six of the guys turned their head, looking at you with a playful smile. "Yep, I am suddenly extremely aware that I am sitting at a table with just guys. Excuse me."

You stumbled through the bar to the bathroom, your head was spinning like crazy, not just because of the alcohol but also because despite how your ex-boyfriend mistreated you these past few years, it was still a loss you felt deeply. He was an ass, but you loved him and that didn't just go away in a night. You had no idea how long you stood in the bathroom, trying not to fall over but also gossiping with a few girls that found you in the bathroom with whom you had now become friends with.

A loud knock and call of your name disrupted the rather nasty conversation about your ex-boyfriend. You slowly opened the door to reveal Mat standing there with a glass of water. "You ok?"

"Why do you care, Mathew?!"

"Oh my god, are you the cheating boyfriend? She told us how cruel you are so get the hell out of here! You don't deserve her!," the blonde girl, whose name you'd unfortunately already forgotten and who was one of the sweet girls listening to your little rant, pushed herself through the door and in between the two of you.

"What?," Mat said perplexed looking at you for help.

"No, that's just Mat. What do you want?"

"You've been in here for a while. Thought you might need some water."

"No, thanks." You turned away, walking deeper into the bathroom to sit on the little couch. Your head started spinning again. Why was he being nice to you?

"Here." When you looked up, the girls were gone and only Mat stood in the bathroom handing over that glass of water that looked absolutely delicious. You crossed your arms, pouting, to which he rolled his eyes and placed the glass on the counter. "He cheated? Don't tell me you're still with him?"

"No! I might have stayed with him longer than I should have, but I do have some self respect. And, again, why do you care?"

"Jesus Christ, (y/n), why the hell do you think I don't care?," he shouted at you to which you let out a loud chuckle.

"Are you kidding? You hate me. Fine. I don't care." You did. "But don't come in here pretending to care and make a fool out of me."

"What are you talking about?" You scoffed, jumping to your feet, the alcohol giving you the courage.

"What am I talking about? Are you kidding? You never talk to me. You never even look at me. You stop joking around when I'm in the same room. You're visibly in pain when I have to take some pictures and videos of you. I don't know what I ever do to you, but whatever. I don't care anymore. Clearly it's your problem."

He sighed, then took a deep breath. Still never looking directly at you. "See, you're not even looking at me now! So get out. Have a laugh about my little break down in here but leave me alone!"

"I don't hate you," he simply said, making you even more angry. He was so insufferable. Always brooding, giving you dirty looks and now he says he doesn't hate you? That's exactly what you told him, listing every time he made you feel small and unliked by him.

"From day one! I walked in, thinking this was going to be the best job ever and yes it is! But the one guy I actually wanted to like me turned out the best the biggest asshole. But that's not what everyone else says about you, so why are you so mean to me? You're not like this with the rest of the social team, so it must be me! What did I do to you? Why is it just me?," you continued to now yell at him. But he stayed silent. He was on edge though, itching to tell you but fighting to hold back whatever he wanted to say. "You know what? I have had too much to drink to have this conversation right now."

"No you didn't," he replied, pressing his lips together.

"What? Were you not there starring daggers into me while I took like six shots with Wally?"

"I had the bartender switch to water. Half the time you were drinking water. Not counting your Long Island iced tea, you maybe two shots." Hm. Maybe that's why you didn't feel as drunk as you normally would be after that many shots. Your surprised faced actually made him chuckle for a split second. "Yeah. Wally didn't notice either. On that, why the fuck were you taking shots with Wally?"

"Because he offered. And he likes me. And I like him." He looked like you just stabbed a knife in his heart. "Why? You jealous?"

He didn't answer and your heart skipped a beat.

"Why'd you do it?," you asked quietly, concerning the fact that he had made the bartender switch to water.

"Why do you ask so many questions?"

"Maybe if you would answer one once in a while I would have so many! So why did you do it? Why are you jealous?" Silence. Again. And you started to get annoyed again. "God, Mathew would you just answer the damn question! You are such a difficult person. Why did you-"

"Because I like you!," he yelled back, shutting you up.

"W-what?," you asked, very confused. "That doesn't even make sense."

"I know." At least he admitted it. His face grew soft and he closed his eyes for a second. "Let's go, I'll walk you back to the hotel."

"No! I'm not going anywhere with you," you protested, crossing your arms again. He rolled his eyes.

"Come on."

"No. Not before you explain to me why the hell you would say you like me when these past few months clearly state otherwise."

"I-." But he wasn't able to say more than that.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Disappoint you brushed past him heading for the door, but before you could make it, his hand grabbed you by the arm, spinning you to face him. His large hands grabbed you by the sides of your face and pulled you into him until your lips met.

The act caught you off guard so it took a couple of seconds to react, but when you did you practically melted in his touch. All the pain you had felt from your breakup suddenly vanished and only warm fuzzy feelings remained. His lips were so soft and warm, you wanted to explore them further. He must have felt the same way as he began to open his mouth with a sigh. His tongue brushed over your lips and elicited a small whimpering from you in response. You quickly became addicted to his touch and lifted your own hands to feel him.

"Holy shit." You both ripped apart turning to the familiar voice. The bathroom door was open and in the frame stood Ryan who was desperately trying not to laugh. "Sorry." But just as quickly as he appeared, he disappeared again.

Stunned at what just happened, not only the kiss but also that you'd been caught, you stood in that bathroom silently. Your brain went 100 mph, but to your surprise after the eventful day you had, the only thing in your mind was that kiss.

Mat broke the silence first. "Will you let me walk you back now?"

You only managed to nod and let Mat guide you out of that bathroom. He went to go talk to the guys quickly, letting them know that you'd be leaving. You were too embarrassed to face the other, knowing that Ryan probably told them what he saw, so you awkwardly stood by the exit until Mat came back to quickly escort you outside.

"Your purse."

"Oh." You accepted it, hanging it over your shoulder. You didn't even realize you forgot it. "Thank you."

The short walk back to the hotel was silent, even the elevator ride up to your floor and up until you reached your room. "Thanks for walking me back. Good night."

You started closing the door, but Mat interrupted. "I don't hate you."

"Okay."

He chuckled. "That's it? No millions of questions?"

"You're confusing me. And I'm tired. It's late? I don't even-"

"It's 11:30," he answered your thought looking at his watch.

"Oh. What? That's it?"

He chuckled again. "Yeah you were drinking at lightning speed."

"Well, I was trying to forget a certain someone."

"I'm sorry," he said. "Sorry that he cheated on you. You don't deserve that."

You tried to smile as a thank you, but it turned out very sad. Mat's hand reached out to brush some hair out of your face and your heart clenched at that gesture. "Did it work?"

"What?"

"Forgetting him?"

"The alcohol? No." It was definitely not the alcohol that helped you forget him, but the person standing in front of you. You thought he understood what he meant when his hand came up again to brush that same strand of hair out of your face again, but lingered slowly creeping back to the same place it was nested when you kissed at the bar.

"Want some help?" He suddenly stood very close to you. In the last few minutes he had entered your room enough to push you in and have the door close behind the two of you. And you hadn't even realized. You only had eyes for him. Or his eyes, which sparkled a desire full green. The tension that had been building ever since your fight at the bar almost became unbearable, which is probably what gave him the confidence to ask the question and for you to reply as you did. "Will you let me help you forget that jerk?"

You took the last step needed to stand flush against him and within a second your lips were on his. This kiss may have started out as passionately as the one at the bar but it quickly grew into something hotter.

Mat pushed you further into the room until you stumbled into the dresser onto which he lifted you with ease. You legs wrapped around his hips tightly so he had no room to escape, not that he had any plans to do so as his tongue licked into your mouth. You couldn't hold back a moan as Mat devoured your mouth like he couldn't get enough of you, your fingers digging into his soft brown hair.

You kissed for endless minutes, but when Mat eventually pulled away, your chest heaved, lungs pulling in much-needed oxygen. He breathed harshly, his mouth not retreating too far so you could feel him breathing against your lips. He nibbled on your lower lip, the feel of his teeth sinking into your swollen flesh making you moan softly. "Such pretty sounds," he mumbled in between teasing bites. "All for me?"

"Mhm," you whimpered, nudging your lips closer to his, desperate for his touch. He chuckled, but couldn't help but kiss you back, him too needy to feel this passion again.

More kisses, moans, and whimpers passed until you slowly inched your hips to the edge of the dresser until you finally met his. A deep groan rumbled through Mat's body upon contact and with his big hands he placed on your ass he pulled you even closer, rubbing his growing bulge against your quickly heating center. The layer of both of your jeans got in the way of the best possible friction and both of you realized that the clothes issue needed to be solved as fast as possible.

His mouth broke from yours to explore your jawline and neck. Just as your hands moved from his hair to open up his jeans, one of his hands moved to pull you v-neck down one shoulder, exposing more skin. Small moans climbed up your throat as his tongue started nibbling and licking your skin. "Mat," his name was barely a whisper, but he heard it and picked up on the plea to speed things up. He stepped away just enough so you could comfortably take off your sweater and bra in which time he pulled his pants down.

You didn't have a lot of time to react to the sight of his erect cock straining his underwear that already looked too tight from his thick thighs before Mat stepped back into you capturing your lips for another intoxicating kiss. You arched your back when his grabby hands got ahold of your breast, massaging it and rubbing your nipple between his fingers.

"Do you feel what you're doing to me? How could you ever think I hated you?," he asked out of breath as he continued to rub his hard cock over your center.

"Well, there is the time you-"

"Let's not get into this now, eh?" You laughed, but agreed since what he was doing to you felt way too good to stop. "But let's get you out of the pants and onto this extremely comfortable bed."

With that, he lifted you in the air walking you over to the bed and throwing you onto the mattress. Before dropping to his knees with a mischievous grin, he tore his sweater off then got to work on tearing your jeans off as well.

"God, I have been waiting to get my hands on you since the moment you first looked at me," he groaned as if he couldn't believe this moment was real.

"Then why-"

"Shush, I wasn't being mean to you," he interrupted.

"I was going to say, then why are you talking so long to take me?" The right corner of his lips curled up and his eyes darkened before finally also taking your panties off and grabbing you by your ass pulling you to the edge of the bed.

"Oh, honey, you're so wet" Mat rumbled, his fingers exploring your drenched folds, spreading you open for him while you trembled. "And who are you dripping for?"

"You." The word only a whisper.

"No one else on your mind?"

"No," you moaned bucking your hips into his touch. "Just you."

"That's right." He finally circled your clit, dragging a strangled moan from your mouth, before spanking the little bundle of nerves, making you jerk and cry out. "So sensitive and responsive," he murmured. "I've dreamed about your pussy—and it's even better than I imagined," he confessed distractedly before ducking down, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking until you were squirming beneath him so badly, he had to pin you down to the bed.

Pleasure washed through you in waves so overwhelming, your hands grabbed Mat's soft hair to keep yourself steady. Your whole body quaked, your hips bucking up against his face while he sucked your clit into his mouth, his tongue teasing the tip of it until you felt like you were going to shatter apart. But he wouldn't let you come so fast and continued teasing you. Mat licked at your pussy, his tongue digging into the depths of your hole as far as he could go, before using the tip of his tongue to tease your clit.

"Oh, god! Mathew," you moans grew louder at the sounds of him eating you out, something you ex never liked to do (not that you were thinking about him at all), and the thoughts of how hopefully he'd be fucking you numb in just a few minutes. If he was that good at foreplay, how good was he at the actual fucking part?

Just when you thought he couldn't get any better, he ripped his head out of your grasp and lightly slapped your clit, making you cry out. "So sweet," he mumbled, admiring your pussy again after having a taste. His fingers explored the sensitive tissue again before sinking one and then another finger into you. You moaned and squirmed, grabbing the sheets for some support.

"That's it. I can feel you squeezing me, you're close, eh?" You could only hum in response, still squirming beneath his touch. "Then come for me, honey."

Mat's fingers worked in and out of your hole slowly, dragging against your sensitive walls like he was reveling in how tight you were. His tongue brushed against your clit, making you moan and whine, the pleasure he offered so exquisite, you felt certain you were going to come soon. When his fingers pressed against that spot inside you, you abruptly screamed as you finally came. Your hands clutched the sheets then captured his hair again as you bucked your hips up violently against his face, his mouth never relenting even as your entire world shattered around you. His kept fucking you with his fingers, his mouth sucking on your puffy clit as pleasure coursed through you in wave after overwhelming wave. Your legs shook on either side of his head, the rest of your body trembling while Mat worked you through your orgasm.

Then, when the pleasure began to subside, Mat didn't relent. His fingers were still plunging in and out of your pussy while he licked furiously at your sensitive clit. You squirmed, whining at the overstimulation, but he only raised his head for a moment to stare up your body at you.

"One more," he rasped, pressing a kiss to your clit. "Gimme another one, honey," he said, greedy hunger in his voice. Then he spoke no more because his mouth was busy eating you out like a starved man. When he added a third finger to your cunt, fucking you harder with his fingers curled inside you, pressing against that spot, you felt the tension coiling inside you again. Mat was relentless, his tongue lashing against your clit, and it wasn't long before you came again.

If you'd thought your body had trembled and shook through your first release, it was nothing compared to the quaking shudders of your second orgasm. You screamed your throat raw at the overwhelming pleasure consuming your body and mind, and all you could do was hold onto his head and ride it out with him.

When you finally started to come down, you saw him licking your arousal from his fingers, his green eyes heated when he caught you staring at him. He smirked at your slumped, limp body and began to rise. He climbed on top of the mattress, pulling up with him, so your entire body now lay next to him.

"Gimme a minute," you huffed, still catching your breath, to which he chuckled.

"Take your time." With one hand under his head, he grinned at the ceiling. What he was saying earlier was the truth. He did like you and cared for you. He pinned for you and lusted after you. He just couldn't express that in the workplace and that somehow turned into passive aggressiveness. But he would apologize for that later. For now, he was just happy that after months of fantasizing you were actually lying in bed next to him.

"Thank you," you finally said waving your hand around. "For that."

Another laugh, one that made your heart skip a beat, left his mouth. "You sound like it was your first time being eaten out. And you're welcome."

When you didn't answer, only cringed, he sat himself up on his elbow looking down at you. You were strangely comfortable with being naked around him. With past boyfriends or hookups, you always quickly found something to cover up with. "How long were you with this jerk?"

"A few years."

"And he never once went down on you?" His perplexed face suddenly made you feel ashamed. Not about yourself but that you kept up with your ex for so long.

"Not never. He just didn't like doing it. And I haven't enjoyed it with others either so it wasn't a big deal," you admitted, though after what you just went through, you might have some reevaluating to do.

"Jesus Christ, (y/n)! You wasted your time with him. He should have been at your feet, worshipping you, thanking whatever god he believes in that you even looked at him let alone touch him. You especially deserve so much better." Your heart clenched and that fuzzy warm feeling in your belly returned. Since you had no idea how to respond, you kissed him. First softly, almost hesitant, but that feeling only grew stronger and within a few minutes you had pushed him back into the mattress and climbed on top of him.

You moaned into Mat's mouth, kissing him harder, your drenched center settling over the bulge in his pants. Your breath hitched in your throat and Mat took the opportunity to nip at your lower lip, making you moan again before you began rocking against his hardness. Renewed arousal flooded through your body, your skin heating while you kissed him until it became too much and you had to wrench your lips away from the handsome hockey player so you could gasp for air.

"Mathew," you cried softly, his name falling from your mouth in a whispered plea while your hips kept grinding down on his cock. He felt so big and thick beneath you and you didn't know what you wanted more, to keep grinding down against him or feel him fill you up.

Mat pressed his smile against your jaw, teasing your skin with kisses and little nips of his teeth, making you gasp and moan and clench down around nothing while you worked your pussy against his bulge.

"My mouth not enough for you, honey?" he rumbled teasingly in your ear, his hands sliding down your sides. He grabbed your ass with his big hands, kneading your soft flesh while helping you rock against him, dragging more moans from you. "Do you need my cock?"

"Yes, yes, please," you begged in a whining voice. Your pulse was thrumming beneath your skin and throbbing in your clit. Your hands pressed into the mattress next to his head and you used your grip as leverage to grind down harder on his bulge, pressing your clit against the fabric of his boxers until you were a whimpering mess. "Need it, please!"

"What do you need?," he whispered roughly.

"Your cock."

"Say my name. Who's making you feel like this?" His voice was rough in your ear sending more shivers down your body and directly to your clit.

"Mathew. You, Mat. Please, I need you."

His hands on your ass moved quickly to lift you to your knees just high enough so he could wiggle out of his underwear.

"Condom?," you whispered quickly before anything further progressed. His head dropped back in agony before he cursed. "Fuck."

Your head dropped to his chest, spinning as you considered the sides of the argument. "Sorry, I didn't actually plan on anything happening anytime soon."

"It's okay," you whispered, then kissed your way up his neck to his lips. "It's ok, we don't need one. I'm clean and on the pill."

"Me too. You sure?," he asked breathlessly in between more intoxicating kisses. "We don't need to do anything tonight."

"No, please, Mathew," you begged, lowering your hips onto his cock, sliding up and down his length. "I need you, please."

"Fuck! I would never say no to you, honey." Mat's gaze darkened before your eyes, a sound rumbling deep in his chest almost like a possessive growl. Then he was diving forward, capturing your lips in a searing kiss while his hands went back to your ass. He used his arm around your back to lower you down until the tip of his cock brushed against your dripping folds. "I'm gonna fuck your sweet pussy bare," he promised, bullying your clit with his tip until you were moaning and squirming on top of him. "I'm gonna fill you up with my come until it's dripping down your thighs."

Words escaped you, so you nodded your head, which felt light and fuzzy with how aroused you were. Your hands braced on Mat's shoulders and you stared deep into his eyes as he guided you to start sinking down on his cock. You gasped when you felt the head of his cock press inside your tight hole. You moaned when he was buried all the way inside of you, loving the feeling of his thick cock splitting you open, stretching out your little pussy. It was nearly overwhelming, just how much you had to stretch to accommodate him, but you enjoyed it too much to stop or protest. "So big," was all you could mumble, your lashes fluttering as you tried to keep holding his gaze through the feeling of his hardness stretching your inner walls.

Mat rumbled a pleased sound in his chest. "Ya like it, honey?" he asked, his lips curling in a devilish smirk that made you want to kiss his mouth hard. "Like feeling my big, fat cock splitting open your tight cunt?"

"Oh god, oh god," you mumbled, moaning while you slid down more of his length before lifting up and pressing down even further. "Feels so good—s'good, Mat," you muttered, still holding his gaze even as your eyes threatened to close from the overwhelming pleasure.

The moment felt too intimate to cut off the connection of your held gaze, so you stared into Mat's eyes as you worked yourself up and down his shaft, taking him impossibly deeper.

"F-fuck, oh fuck," Mat groaned, finally breaking eye contact to bury his face against your chest, like he was overwhelmed by the feeling of being buried inside you. His breath was hot against your breasts as he sucked in deep gulps of air, breathing in your scent while his hands gripped your hips so hard, you thought he might leave fingertip-shaped bruises on your hips—not that you minded. You shivered and clenched around his stiff cock, which only made him grunt in pleasure. "Feel so fucking good, honey," he rumbled, his voice muffled where it was pressed to your sternum. "So warm and tight and fucking perfect around my cock."

"Mhmm," you murmured, rocking your hips in small movements, feeling his cock drag against your sensitive inner walls. You were pressed so close together, you felt a shudder pass through Mat's body and continue through yours. It wasn't long before you were both writhing together, reveling in the feel of each other. "Feel so full—so full of your big cock, Mat," you said in a breathy whisper. You raked your nails through his hair, as he held you to your chest as your hips moved against his tiny thrusts.

"That's right, full of me," he mumbled possessively, nipping at your neck, moving back down to your breasts. He kissed your soft mounds while you rocked on top of him, his hands bringing you down harder and harder on his cock. Steve sucked on your nipple, lapping at the tight peak before giving the same attention to the other. "You feel better than I ever dreamed, honey," he rasped, looking up and catching your eye, depthless emotion filling his green eyes.

Shy heat filled your face and you smiled, warm pleasure curling through your limbs and pulsing insistently between your thighs. Your inner walls clenched down around Mat's cock, like your body was possessive of the feeling of him inside you and never wanted to let him go.

"I'm sorry," he whispered against your ear, pressing small wet kissed along your jaw. "Sorry I've been a bit of a jerk."

"So you admit it?" Your response sped up his thrusts to which you let out a surprised squeak which turned into a string of moans.

"Why don't you accept my apology for now and let me fuck you mindless like you deserve and we can talk about the rest later." His voice turned rough and possessive again, one you already loved as you pussy clamped down on his cock, so you nodded.

In a quick maneuver, Mat had turned the two of you around, lifting one of your legs. "Good girl."

He didn't give you a chance to react before he mercilessly started pounding into your sweet flesh. It was better than you ever could've imagined, the feeling of his hot, hard cock sinking into your tight cunt. His hips were smacking your thighs, his balls slapping against your ass with every thrust as he fucked you. You reveled in the feel of him, your arms and legs wrapped around him and dragging him deeper into the cradle of your body.

Mat's face hovered above you and you could see the way it was contorted with pleasure. The way he was fucking you—so possessively, you knew he was serious when he'd told you he had liked you all along. "Fuck," he choked out the whispered curse, pressing his forehead to yours. "Your pussy feels so fucking good gripping my cock."

You tilted your head up for a kiss, pressing your lips to his as you pulled him closer with your legs, rocking up against him. "More, please—need you, need more," you begged against his mouth, your breaths mingling until you didn't know where you ended and he began.

Giving you what you asked for, Mat pulled his hips back, dragging his cock along every sensitive inch of your cunt, before slamming back inside. His breathing was harsh in your ear as he let out stuttering moans, almost drowning out the sounds of his hips smacking against yours, his balls hitting your ass. "So good, so good, honey, so fucking good," he chanted against your check, his breath hot on your face.

Your face pressed into his neck, lips sucking on his skin until you knew you were going to leave marks, too far gone to care as your tongue darted out to taste him and soothe him. Your legs locked around his waist, your feet hooking behind his thighs so you could draw him deeper until he was fully seated in your cunt and he couldn't pull out more than an inch.

"Oh god, that's it. I'm so close," you mumbled as his thrust slowed but doubled in strength. Words escaped you, your lips forgetting how to do anything but kiss and moan and whimper and whine for Mat. Your head felt hazy, however not from the alcohol from earlier, but on Mat's cock and the dirty words pouring from his mouth.

"Yes, need you to come for me, honey. Need to feel you come on my cock," he muttered, picking up the pace of his slow grinding until he was rutting into you as much as your legs would let him. "Fuck, I can't stop, baby, 'm gonna come." He grunted and groaned, the sounds of his pleasure and his words filling the truck cab. "Come on my cock, baby," Mat rasped as he pounded his cock deep in your hole, grinding his pubic bone against your clit with every thrust, sending you careening toward the edge.

The desperation in Mat's voice and the way his cock pummeled a spot deep in your pussy that had your back arching into him, grinding your clit on him, pushed you over the edge. Your nails dug into his back, desperate to be anchored to him as it felt like you were free-falling through pleasure. Pressing your face into his neck, you muffled a scream, sobbing your release as your cunt rhythmically clamped down hard on his cock.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, that's it baby, that's a good girl," Mat praised, rutting into you harder, fucking you through your orgasm as he chased his own.

His fingers dug into your soft flesh so hard you were sure he'd leave bruises and that thought only sent more warmth curling through you, joining the aftershocks of your orgasm. "Please," you begged, your mouth finally remembering how to form words. "Come in me," you whined, squirming beneath him.

"Fuck—yes," he grunted, thrusting hard and pinning you down onto the mattress with his hips. "Take it, honey, take my come," he bit out through gritted teeth as you felt him start to come deep in your pussy. You moaned when you felt his cock twitch inside you, his come filling your warm hole. He panted, as he thrust a few more times, shallowly, until he was spent. Mat collapsed on top of you while you reveled in the feel of his come coating inside you. "So good for me, baby," he praised, turning his head enough to kiss your cheek.

Your arms and legs felt heavy and loose as your full body relaxed, drifting in the aftermath of a mind-blowing orgasm, feeling sated and happy. Running your fingers through Mat's hair, you hummed in happiness. Unable to stop yourself, you planted little kisses on his neck. He made a contented sound in his chest in response, his thumb sweeping over the back of your hand.

He still stayed buried deep inside you, brushing his lips over your face, your neck and collarbones. You enjoyed it, almost more than what you just did, breathing him in, staying in your fantasy just a little bit longer.

You suddenly snapped back to reality, realizing that while he had just been very sweat and caring, he did behave like a jerk these last few months. You pushed him off of you, pretending you didn't feel the extreme emptiness when his cock slipped out of you. "Get off me."

Mat laughed, sitting up on his elbows as he watched you scramble to find a shirt to cover up with. "Oh, come on, honey. Can't we enjoy this moment?"

"One phenomenal orgasm does just erase these last few months and prove that you actually never hated me," you explained in a snippy tone, blushing when you realized you admitted how good he'd made you feel.

"I'm pretty sure I made you come three times." You rolled your eyes, throwing his sweater at him before finally reaching your sweater and pulling it over your head. "Should I prove it to you again?"

Let's just say that that night and many other nights he continued to prove to you over and over again that he did in fact like you. Maybe even more than like.

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (12)

ー☆ Chapter 12: Shame On Me

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: cursing ー☆ Word count: 5.5k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hiii, my lovelies! Shorter chapter but you won't have to wait too long, I'll update next week again! I don't think there will be any more updates to my other stories this week because I'm going to visit my bestie on Thursday and I only come home on Sunday (can't wait to see you again Orsi *cries*). You know the drill, please listen to Shame On Me before or while reading, thank you!! So, uh, you all will hate me after this chapter, I'm sorry in advance, but you can go scream at me in the notes and reblogs! <3 However, I promise the angst won't last for too long :D Thank you all for reading and always leaving feedback, I appreciate it a lot! I hope you enjoy this chapter, don't hate me pls. divider

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red @sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng @deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf @hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380 @xciiiomwliah @vixensss @catchingskzzzs @tesssaurrr @ginger-mingi @mingisbbg

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

            It was quite ominous how well I had slept last night, and despite feeling my eyes burn from staying up too late and not getting enough sleep, I felt well-rested. Perhaps the unusual warmth engulfing my body had something to do with the way my muscles seemed to become one with the mattress, and the comfortable weight around my waist also made me want to give in to the calling of another slumber. I had woken up a few times before, trying to find new comfortable positions as I could hear the birds chirp outside and the sweet cologne that clung to my clothes and the sheets tingled my nose in a way I had to suppress a sneeze. But the sun was high up in the sky already, the blinds open as I felt the warmth of the sunlight on my face. I released a content sigh as my muscles begged for a good stretch, making me groan when I felt a few vertebras pop, tension releasing between them. Gosh, I wish I could wake up feeling this refreshed every morning.

The covers were thick, and thus, the non-existent melody of the bed calling out to me to stay for longer won as I melted back against the pillow, licking my dry lips as I was mildly surprised that there was no impeding headache. I would usually feel hungover even if I drank only a little—hence why I preferred staying away from alcohol—but maybe that hot chocolate I had last night was some magic drink. There was a low groan next to me and I smiled for a second, feeling thick fingers tangle into the waistband of the sweatpants I was wearing, definitely not mine as they rode a little too low on my hips. The strings must’ve come undone in my sleep as I kept shifting around. Not really thinking as I was still under the blissful grip of a good night’s sleep, I sneaked my right arm underneath the covers and gently traced the warm skin of the arm pressing against my torso. There was another low hum and I smiled as I turned my head to the left, eyes protesting as I tried to peel them open. Perhaps that can wait until my brain is fully functioning.

“Good morning.” Mingi’s voice was husky and it covered my arms in goosebumps as I felt butterflies in my stomach, the heath of my cheeks unnatural once again.

“Morning.” I whispered and bit my bottom lip, feeling the bed shift again as Mingi’s hand now held my waist firmly, fingers rubbing circles into the skin where his borrowed t-shirt had ridden up. Feeling eyes on me, I opened one eye and chuckled as I saw Mingi’s puffy face, halfway hidden into his pillow as he lay on his stomach, red lips swollen and platinum blonde hair disheveled in every possible way. Mingi’s cheeks tinged pink and he grumbled something intangible as he hid his face into the pillow, feigning a tickle at my waist as I squirmed and pushed his hand off, heartbeat picking up as Mingi caught my hand before I could pull it away and interlaced our fingers. My eyes were painfully dry but I rubbed them with the heel of my left palm, rubbing my face afterwards as the haze of sleep slowly had started dissipating.

So, turns out all of this wasn’t a dream. I did go to Outlaw to watch Mingi perform, I did get drunk and got into a tiny argument with Mingi, and he did drive me home afterwards. And apparently, I did sleep over wearing his clothes and using his toiletries and we did—we did kiss. I gulped and licked my dry lips again, feeling the butterflies dissipate in my stomach as instead a lump formed in my throat. I released a shaky breath as I felt Mingi caress my knuckles underneath the covers, and then he turned his head to look at me. He looked—content. He looked happy. His face was serene and he looked like he has been waiting for this moment for ages. Something in my chest ached at the thought and I gulped, feeling the blissful morning daze dissipate completely and get replace by a slowly impeding dread. I released a shaky sigh as a heartbreakingly beautiful smile graced Mingi’s lips, mouth forming a boxy shape that showed all of his teeth—the protruding front ones that I grew to adore—his nose wrinkling and eyes creasing. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so good anymore, I felt like I wanted to cry.

Why was Mingi so perfect? Why was he so kind to me? Why did he treat me so well? Why was he so patient with me? Why did he stick by my side for so long? What was it about me that he liked? What did Mingi want from me?

I froze as suddenly Mingi pushed up onto his elbows and started leaning over me, that smile still present on his lips as he released my hand to caress my cheek. My hands trembled as I tried to hold his eye contact, but all of a sudden I felt sick. I felt dirty and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Everything smelled like Mingi, everything felt like Mingi—it was too much. Perhaps he saw the subtle shift in my expression as he stopped for a second, eyebrows slightly furrowing, but then his warm lips touched the corner of my mouth and it made my muscles tense up and send my mind off into an alarmed frenzy.

I couldn’t be here, I had to leave. No. What was I doing? How could I do this when I knew Mingi is Yunho’s best friend? How could I hide something like that from him? Why did I let him kiss me and why did I kiss him back? Why have I—why the hell have I started liking Mingi so much that having him next to me suddenly felt right and being away from him made me anxious, made it feel so wrong?

Unable to control myself anymore, I sprung up from the bed, trying to keep my breaths labored as Mingi sat up alarmed, eyebrows furrowing as he watched me scramble around his room looking for my clothes. I couldn’t remember where he had placed them last night—whether I had left them in bathroom or had brought them to the living room. I heard the sheets crinkle as no doubt Mingi was getting out of bed too, I could feel his piercing gaze follow my every move.

“You—” He hesitated for a second, “You don’t have to leave so early—I mean, it’s not that early, but I want to make us breakfast. I promise I’m not a bad cook.”

I bit my lower lip as my eyebrows furrowed, my body freezing as my heart clenched. I wanted that, I wanted to stay with Mingi and eat breakfast and laugh and just let go of everything and forget every single one of my worries, but I couldn’t. I felt so guilty, I couldn’t even turn around and face him. I had to leave and I had to get rid of him, it would be best for the both of us.

“I’m not hungry.” My voice was barely above a whisper, cold, and distant. I finally spotted my clothes sitting neatly folded on Mingi’s desk chair and I leaped towards them, my fingers curling tightly into them as I cradled them into my arms, somehow hoping that it would bring any sort of comfort. It didn’t because I could still feel Mingi’s eyes on me and hear the way his steps faltered.

“Oh, then…” He fell silent and I felt my hands’ tremors worsen, making me bite into my bottom lip to try and keep myself level-headed. It was hard, and I was failing at it, “We could grab some coffee and—”

“I’m going home, Mingi.” I snapped, cutting off his rambling because I was unable to listen to his warm and soothing voice anymore, now laced with obvious hurt and dejection. I wasn’t only hurting myself anymore, I was hurting him too. And I hated myself. He deserved better. Mingi deserves someone who cherishes him and makes him happy, not someone who brings his hopes up and then stomps on his heart like it means nothing. I didn’t want to do this, but I felt like I had no choice. I had dug my own grave by indulging into his little games—they weren’t games, Mingi has been genuine from the get go—and now here I was, suffering the consequences of my own actions.

“I—Y/N.” I froze as my hand reached for the handle to open the door, I couldn’t face him, “What we did—what happened last night, I—no, the kiss, we can’t just glaze over it, I can’t—I can’t do that anymore. Please, what are we?”

I squeezed my eyes shut at the sudden tears in them and inhaled a long breath, slowly twisting the handle of the door so that I could flee easier, “The kiss was—a mistake. We were both caught up in our feels and I—I didn’t mean to do that. I never wanted to kiss you. I don’t—it means nothing. We are nothing, Mingi.”

If the same words echoed in my mind but sounded a lot more masculine and venomous, puppylike eyes narrowed and glaring down at me, I gulped and repressed the memory, rushing out of Mingi’s room in a panic. I didn’t want to hear the way Mingi gasped nor the way he called out in confusion after me as I made it towards the shoe rack, finding my boots placed neatly next to his. It took everything I had in me to keep it together, to swallow the tears that wanted to escape my eyes, to keep my voice firm.

“What do you mean it meant nothing?” Mingi didn’t even sound angry, he sounded so utterly hurt, that a tear unintentionally trickled down my cheek, “It couldn’t have meant nothing, Y/N, we’ve been dancing around each other for too long for it to mean nothing. You’ve—I’ve kissed you before, not like this of course, but we did kiss and we’ve held hands and you—you can’t just fucking say it means nothing when it means everything to me!”

Fuck.

Perhaps it was good that he was finally showing any other reaction than disappointment and hurt, perhaps I pitied myself less if he was angry at me and shouting—I deserved it. I really did, every mean thing he’d hurl at me, I deserved to hear them because he was right. He was, he had always been. I’m a horrible awful being and I played with his feelings just like Yunho had played with mine. How could I hate Yunho so much when I was just like him?

“We’re both honest and blunt people, Mingi, there’s no reason to dance around this.” My voice sounded leveled, calm, almost as if it was mocking Mingi’s despair and I felt like complete shit, “Quite frankly put, I don’t want to see you again. This everything—whatever the hell we’ve been doing for the past three months, it was a shitshow. I don’t know what your purpose behind your actions was but I know mine and it has nothing to do with—whatever we’ve done last night. There’s no such thing as friendship between a girl and boy, it never works out, somebody always gets heartbroken and that’s exactly what’s happening right now. I think we both mislead each other, which led to this misunderstanding, so yes, it means nothing because I don’t want anything from you, but you clearly want something I cannot give you.”

The deafening silence felt like a slap to my face and it almost made me whirl around to apologize for my harsh words, to tell him that it was all a lie, that I liked him more than who I thought was my first love. I had always thought I loved Yunho with my whole being, that I gave him all of myself, but that wasn’t true. Yunho had never seen me at my lowest, Yunho never tried to fix the issues between us, he never reached out if he knew he did something wrong, he never even tried to pursue me—it was all me, all along. I was the one fighting for us and Yunho just went along with it because it was comfortable, because I was a stable point in his chaotic life, somebody he knew he could come back to. And I was treating Mingi as if he did the same thing to me, as if he was just another replica of Yunho—when he wasn’t. Mingi was so much more than Yunho would ever be, and I ruined everything in the span of five minutes.

I didn’t even bother lacing up my boots as I stepped into them, afraid to look back, but unable to stop myself when the silence just continued to stretch on. I didn’t expect to see Mingi’s eyes bloodshot, nor his bottom lip red and swollen from getting chewed on too much. Fuck, why did my heart ache more than when Yunho left me?!

“I never wanted to be your friend, doll.” The way his tone was emotionless yet his lips uttered the nickname, it made my lungs constrict as the lump got bigger and bigger in my throat, “But I knew you needed time, so I gave it to you. Perhaps—perhaps I shouldn’t have, maybe I should have been cleared with my intentions—”

“Mingi.” I snapped, eyebrows furrowing as we made eye contact. I couldn’t listen to him anymore; I couldn’t bear to hear him make up excuses for the sake of me. Why was he not screaming at me, why was he not hurting me? This is why he was too good for me, why I didn’t deserve him, “Delete my number.”

“You know your way out.” And I did know it. Without saying anything else, I unlocked the front door and ripped it open, slamming it shut behind me as I raced towards the stairs, hissing as my eyes got blurry and obscured my view of where I was stepping. But I had to get out of the building as fast as possible, scared that Mingi would race after me, that he’d try to reason with me one more time because it would work. It would work and I would give in. I would tell him the truth and then everything would be more painful. I was saving him from the betrayal he didn’t deserve, I was saving him from me, who never treated him right. I thought he was an asshole, an arrogant guy who yearned for attention and validation from every breathing female. But that wasn’t true, Mingi was a selfless and hard-working man who put others above himself, he wasn’t greedy and he wore his heart on his sleeve, ready to offer all the love his body contained without expecting anything in return. And I was a horrible human being because I took advantage of his kindness and goodness, because in the process of trying to get rid of him—I fell for him.

I was gasping for air by the time I stumbled out of the building, the wind harsh and cold as I scrambled to wear my jacket over Mingi’s thin t-shirt. It did nothing to shield me from the harsh weather and perhaps I deserved it, perhaps I deserved to be stared at by the passerby people with questioning or judgmental stares. I had no idea where I was, but thankfully finding my phone in my pocket, I was able to walk myself to a bus station and wait for a bus that would take me home. Mingi lived almost thirty minutes away from my place, but that was fine, I could keep it together for so long. I wouldn’t cry, I refused to cry, this was my own punishment. As I sat on the bench at the bus station, the heather above head lessening the chill that seemed to bite at my body, I closed my eyes and wallowed in the tumultuous emotions I felt.

This was far from how I wanted things to go, I thought I was better, that I could control myself and keep everything in check, but at last, I failed. I failed and now I hurt the guy I had fallen for. I was scared, I was afraid of getting left behind like it previously had happened, and so I wanted to protect myself. I struck before he could. I thought I would be protecting my heart and getting the upper hand, but then why was my heart aching and my stomach clenching so hard that it made me feel nauseous? Why do I always mess things up when they finally go right? Can’t I have something good for myself? Is it so hard to believe that not all guys are like Yunho? But Mingi is his best friend and it started getting easy to spot similarities between them the longer I hung out with Mingi. So could he really be much different from Yunho? I wouldn’t know, now, I would never find out.

            I felt numb, both physically and emotionally, by the time I made it home. The house was empty and dark, rainclouds had gathered outside and I was thankful that I made it home before the downpour. It reminded me of Mingi, everything seemed to remind me of Mingi. I hated it, it made breathing harder as I peeled his clothes off myself and went into the shower, probably staying underneath the spray of the hot water for too long. My skin was all wrinkled by the time I got out and the rain came down heavily against the roof of the house, forcing me to dress up warmly and wear the hood of my hoodie as I was too tired and lazy to dry my hair. I was craving something hot to drink, but when my eyes fell on the hot chocolate in the cupboard I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and had to rush to the bathroom, heaving and heaving without throwing up anything. I felt like I was borderline dying, and I deserved it. I knew I did.

And when I was feeling my utmost worst, there was only one thing that could help. Drawing and painting. I stared at my sketchbook longingly, but decided to use a different one as that one was filled with sketches of Mingi’s eyes, and him performing on stage, him driving or him laughing with his boxy and gummy smile, his hands that were littered with rings, his peaceful face when he had fallen asleep once in the library while we were studying. But something that hasn’t happened before did happen now. No matter how much I stared at the blank paper, nothing came to me. My mind refused to conjure up any images, my hands refused to move. My grip on the pencil turned painful and I hissed as I pushed the sketchbook off my lap, throwing the pencil against the wall in frustration. I pulled my knees up to my chest as I listened to the heavy rain, staring at the window, watching as big drops rolled down quickly. The silence, the darkness, the numbness…it was beginning to be too much. I wished to see Mingi, I wished to talk to him, I wanted to fix this, but I couldn’t. I was an asshole and going back to him just hours later after being a dick and probably hurting him beyond forgiveness was an even bigger dick move. I just couldn’t do it, so, I closed my eyes and waited. For what, I didn’t know until my phone rang loudly, making me jump out of my skin.

I was stupid for feeling a flicker of hope that it was maybe him, but my heart settled when Seulgi’s smiling face greeted me once I grabbed my phone. I sighed and picked up, beyond grateful that she probably had a feeling that things weren’t going so well anymore. I could feel the small smile stretch onto my lips, the greeting on the tip of my tongue, but Seulgi beat me to it.

“What have you done.” I froze, heart falling into my stomach at the harsh tone of my best friend, eyebrows furrowing in worry. Seulgi never spoke like that to me—to anyone—she was a ray of sunshine and she never got angry, she was never disappointed, she never treated anyone roughly, “Y/N!”

I jumped at the way she yelled my name, gulping down nothing as my mouth had gone dry, “I—nothing. I did nothing—”

“You’re full of shit.” Seulgi snapped and I felt my lips tremble as her voice raised in anger, “How can you say you did nothing when Mingi has been at Wooyoung’s ever since noon and hasn’t stopped bawling his eyes out?! He’s not speaking, he’s not eating, he’s not even moving, Y/N. What did you do?”

“I—” I gulped, voice faint as I felt my eyes fill with tears, “I didn’t mean to, I—I told him it was nothing. That I—didn’t want to see him again. I just—I’m scared, Seulgi.”

“You’re the fucking worst, Y/N.” Seulgi’s tone didn’t soften, if anything, it got harsher and I heard someone in the background call out her name in a quiet warning, “How could you say that to Mingi out of all people?! Are you seriously joking right now?! Did you feel good playing around with him when he has made it so fucking clear that he was into you? That he likes you? That he wants to be with you? You aren’t even dense not to see things like this, Y/N, you straight up played with his feelings and then crushed his heart like it meant nothing.”

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, sniffing loudly as Seulgi scoffed. Hearing everything out loud and getting scolded by my best friend probably was the worst feeling ever. I knew I had fucked up colossally if she was taking Mingi’s side, rightfully so.

“I can’t believe you treated him like nothing,” A slight pause and then her voice dropped to a low whisper, “Like Yunho has treated you. You said the same thing to him, Y/N, aren’t you ashamed of yourself—”

“I fucking hate myself, Seulgi!” I exclaimed, frustrated and panicked and annoyed and wounded, “I didn’t mean for this to happen, but I’m scared! I can’t—what if he leaves me? What if he’s worse than Yunho’s ever been?!”

“We were teenagers back then.” Seulgi sighed and her voice softened the slightest, “And Yunho was an asshole from the very beginning, you just refused to see it. Mingi has always been genuine with you, fair, and kind. Yet you saw that and still threw him to the curb.”

“I’m sorry.” I felt a tear trickle down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away, refusing to cry. I didn’t deserve to cry.

“You should be saying that to Mingi, not me.” There was light shuffling in the background and then I heard different voices talking to Seulgi, “Seonghwa is here too now, I have to go. You better fix this even though I don’t know if you deserve his forgiveness at this point.”

“Don’t say that.” I whispered, but Seulgi hung up without saying goodbye, and suddenly I didn’t know what to do anymore. The phone fell from my hand as I stared with tear filled eyes at my mother’s guitar, flashes of Mingi’s excitement upon seeing it fresh in my mind, making my throat close up. I couldn’t breathe. Mingi wasn’t talking to anyone and it was because of me, I did that. I made him feel like that and I didn’t even know how to fix this anymore. Could I fix it? Or have I fucked up so badly that he’ll never forgive me? I knew for a fact that if I were Mingi, I wouldn’t forgive myself no matter how much he would’ve begged or tried making things right. Just as my head fell onto my knees and I squeezed my eyes shut, annoyed that the unshed tears kept persisting, there was a knock on my door. I hadn’t even heard my mother get home.

She gently pushed the door open and peered inside with a curious look on her face, looking excited as I turned my head to look at her. She grinned and suddenly stepped inside, holding up a small box in excitement. My eyebrows furrowed as I watched her grab a paper out of it, giving me a cheeky smile as she cleared her throat, “‘I hope every time you drink your hot chocolate out of this mug you’ll be reminded of me, doll – S.M.’”

I suppose that was all I needed for the cup to be full, to be tipped over the edge as the tears suddenly sprung free, ripping loud sobs from my throat as I grabbed at my hair, yanking on the strands harshly. My mother gasped in fright and I heard movement behind myself, then I felt hands untangle my fingers from my hair, placing them in my lap with one hand as with her other hand she cradled my head against her chest. She smelled like the sanitizers they used at the hospitals, infused with a little musk as it was my mother’s favorite scent, and I was suddenly so grateful for having her. I turned my body to hug her tightly, crying into her chest like I was a little girl once again. My mother sighed as I felt her pat my head and rub my back up and down, humming a song I knew all too well as we used to listen to it a lot while I was growing up. The weight of her chin felt comforting against the top of my head and I gripped her work clothes perhaps a little too tight, but I didn’t care. I have missed her embrace, I missed laughing with her and crying with her, I have missed talking to her. After Yunho left me, I became closed off. I didn’t let anyone know how I felt or what I was going through, and despite my mother being a nurse, she could only help me if I let her—and I didn’t. I was repulsed by any closeness and I needed to be on my own. Days turned into months and those into years, and it took me this long to realize I wasn’t doing as well as I thought I was.

“Mom,” I was still crying, but my sobs have stopped, “I messed up so bad.”

She hummed as her fingers tried to untangle the knots in my hair, “Does it have to do anything with whom the mug is from?”

I nodded wordlessly and she hummed again, tapping my thigh for me to pull back, “Is it that tall boy with sharp eyes, cute glasses and sweet smile, fluffy dark hair?”

“He’s blonde now.” I muttered as I sniffed loudly and disgustingly as I pulled back, letting my mom wipe my tears off my face.

“You hate blonde guys, though.” She muttered with her eyebrows furrowed as I sheepishly looked up into her eyes.

“I know.”

A beat of silence passed and then she started giggling, prompting me to giggle along, my heart still aching but the relief of being in her arms made me feel like I could breathe once again, “Well, that is no good then. I hope you aren’t crying because this S.M. boy went blonde—”

“Song Mingi, his name is Song Mingi.” I whispered as I chewed on my bottom lip, averting my eyes, “I can’t believe you already forgot his name.”

“Well, I’m particularly bad with names, starlight.” My mother chuckled and I felt a smile tug at my lips. She always found peculiar nicknames to call me by, “And he never came over for dinner, that was my trick to remember his name and well—get to know him better, I suppose.”

“He’s not coming over for dinner—like ever.” My tone was grim as I grumbled, picking at my cuticle as I looked down at my lap, avoiding the look of confusion on my mother’s face.

“So, things didn’t work out…” I hummed and sighed, pulling away completely from my mother’s embrace.

“I’m a fool.” I muttered as I pulled my knees up to my chest again, staring at my socked feet. My mother placed her hand on my shoulder and massaged it softly, “I hurt him and now he hates me. I said what happened between us meant nothing, but I was lying. I think I’m in love with him, mom.”

“Has he said that he hates you?” My mother raised her eyebrows in question and I shook my head, “Then he doesn’t hate you. Yes, you hurt him with your harsh words but if you really love him—what’s holding you back, my starlight? You’re a smart woman and you know how to fix your mistakes, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you. So don’t just sulk and wail and make him hurt for no reason—”

“He’s Yunho’s best friend.” I whispered, peeking up at my mother’s face, surprised to find a smile that looked both comforting and amused.

“And does he know that?”

“What?” I asked confused, making my mother chuckle, “Of course he knows he’s Yunho’s best friend.”

“That’s not what I asked, starlight.”

“No, he doesn’t know.” I muttered and grimaced as my mother shook her head at me, “I never found the right moment to tell him, actually, things were never supposed to get this far, mom.”

“I see,” My mother hummed and leaned closer, “You know, I’m speaking based on many years of experience, but this Mingi boy doesn’t seem like the type to hold grudges for too long or judge you for your past. Sure, it must feel weird knowing your current girlfriend has dated your best friend, but that was like ages ago—and you’re still making a big deal out of it—”

“Mom.” I groaned, giving her an unimpressed look, but she only giggled.

“You know, you didn’t take after me for being so dramatic.” She pursed her lips and suddenly pushed me over, making me fall to my side with a loud gasp, “It’s one of the few reasons your father didn’t stick around for long—he was too dramatic.”

“I thought he left us.” I muttered as I sat up straight, making my mother roll her eyes at me.

“He certainly did after I told him I didn’t need a junkie in my house while I was trying to raise my child—” She rolled her eyes then stood up, extending her hand out for me, “And then he thought I tried to baby trap him—huh, what an idiot. Who wants to baby trap a broke dude who’s doing nothing with his life while I was in school learning to be a nurse and girlbossing my way through life?!”

“Don’t ever again say girlbossing, mom.” I groaned embarrassed as I let her help me up.

“What?!” She chuckled, holding my hand gently, “It’s cool, everyone at the hospital says it—well, the younger generation. Anyways, we’re going to cook yummy dinner together, and then I’ll magically make some ice cream appear from our fridge and I have some really nice wine hiding in the cupboard, waiting for us to consume it while you tell me everything about this Song Mingi guy. We haven’t had a girl’s night in so long, I missed you, Y/N.”

“I missed you too, mom, but,” I frowned as I let her pull me after herself, “you do realize I’m suffering and am on the verge of having another break down, yet you still want me to talk about Mingi?”

“It’s called therapy, honey, even if I’m not a therapist.” She shrugged as we walked down the stairs, “Besides, I’ve got some bomb advice to give you to win this boy over. I can’t believe I managed to raise a strong and independent woman that’s emotionally constipated!”

“Oh, my God.” I muttered under my breath, wondering just how many of her coworkers were too young for her to be hanging around, and why on Earth were they teaching my mother cringey slang.

But she was right. I did need her advice, desperately so, and having a girl’s night while I can talk about Mingi without feeling embarrassed to admit I am into him sounded nice—especially now that I have successfully fucked everything up.

『You run away when you just can't face it

Hide in the dark, but you know you hate it』

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[farfromstrange]

Daddy Issues | Matt Murdock x Reader

Masterlist

Inspired by this song.

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: There are some scars from our childhoods that just won't heal, like daddy issues will somehow always affect our relationships, especially with men. It's the trauma that makes us afraid. Matt Murdock is a considerate boyfriend and he hardly ever raises his voice, so when he lets his anger out on you, he triggers something in you that you have never told him about.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of child abuse, daddy issues (not the sexy kind), childhood trauma, yelling, crying, small injury (reader cuts her finger), not proofread

A/n: This is entirely self-indulgent. I won't tell you why exactly, but let's just say today was not a good day and I needed to write this to feel better. It helped, for the most part. If you have/had a father who yells a lot and likes to blame you for everything, this is for you. But also basically everyone who's afraid of men yelling at you because you've been traumatized before. This has not been proofread or beta-d. It’s just a silly little comfort fic.

Tags: (people who answered the original idea and I think would enjoy this or asked to be tagged)

@igotanidea @lina-mar @redzie02 @hellskitchens-whore

[not my gif, credits to the owner mentioned under the gif]

In the heat of the moment, some people raise their voices. May it be a fight or a moment of excitement. When we get angry, we often resort to a louder volume and sometimes even verbal abuse. We say things we don’t mean. We wouldn’t be human if that didn’t happen sometimes, although most fights can be resolved by talking civilly. There is no point in screaming when talking like adults is a viable option that won’t hurt anyone. But it hardly ever happens, not when both parties are already worked up to the point of no return.

For you, there has not been a fight or discussion in your life that hasn’t resulted in a screaming match. Your parents often yelled at each other. You grew up like this, the voices of your fighting parents constantly in the back of your head until the day they divorced. And even after that, you figure you started hallucinating their fights whenever the world went quiet around you so you would have some noise in the back of your head.

Your father was the one who screamed the most. He yelled and scolded you whenever you didn’t act according to his standards or made even the smallest of mistakes, didn’t do something or just used the wrong tone with him, something that often didn’t sit right with him.

He always resorted to screaming. The context never really mattered, he just got louder, harsher and he used words that would confuse every kid and make their tiny brains overflow with the guilt they caused. And when you cried, he only waved it off because “there is no reason to cry, I’m just stating the facts”.

It traumatized you in a way many children who grew up in such families understand, and he made you believe that every man in your life has a reason to yell at you, to use you, to abuse you and constantly ask you for things even though you can’t possibly match up to all of their expectations.

You always expect to be yelled at by the men in your life. Even the smallest hint of the disappointment in someone’s voice makes you anxious and more often than not, you start to cry. It’s your defense mechanism. You’re fragile and you get scared easily. A switch gets flicked and you’re suddenly standing in the same house you grew up in, letting your father rain hell down on you because you were too scared to fight back.

The constant screaming made you scared of men, and it made you more careful with what you say or do around others. You tread carefully. You try to please and not to screw up too much, too scared of the consequences and possible negative reactions. In school, you used to do the same, always wanting to please the teachers and when they raised their voices, you often excused yourself and were left shaking and crying in the bathroom. 

Matt Murdock has always been a man with a heavy internal conflict, and that conflict resulted in anger issues and his ever-present catholic guilt. When you met him, he came across as attractive yet dominant, and that scared you a little until you talked for the first time in the middle of a cozy coffee shop and he showed how soft of a man he actually is. He keeps himself locked away and that might make him seem unapproachable, but he isn’t. He’s the kindest man you have ever met, and his heart is set right. Out of all the lovers you’ve had, he is truly the best and most considerate when it comes to your relationship.

He treats you like you’re the universe to him and when you fight, it’s more often bickering than it is an exchange of vulgarities and screams. He takes his anger out on punching bags, not you, and when he hurts someone, it’s often criminals who deserve his wrath. His life is complicated, but it’s easier with you in it. He feels alive, he’s told you, and he wouldn’t trade that for the world, so he always makes sure you’re taken care of and happy before he looks after himself.

There is, of course, the issue with his enhanced senses. He’s blind but his senses are enhanced to an extent that most blind people don’t have. You found out about that early on in your relationship, but there’s never been a doubt in your mind about the love you feel for him, so it was no hard choice to stay.

Though dating the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen comes with its collection of issues. More often than not you have to stitch him up or search him in dark alleys and trash cans because he keeps getting in trouble, and the worry often eats you alive. Still, you comfort him when he’s had a bad day, always, and you make him the spotlight of your life every time. In your mind, taking care of him comes first.

But Matt always gives back. It’s his Catholicism, you’re sure of that. He can’t take help. He has to be the one doing the work and moving mountains. He is God’s disciple and he feels responsible for his city and the people living in it. His blindness feels like a gift given to him by God to conquer all possible battles, and while you don’t really believe in God, you have accepted that part of him with open arms and more often than not join him in his faith because life with him is surely not the easiest.

When Matt Murdock feels overwhelmed, he tries not to show it. He’d rather lock himself away than burden you. He’d rather struggle on his own than put the people he loves in danger or hurt them with his personal struggles and the pain that consumes him.

Matt is patient and he doesn’t care if you screw up, even though you apologize profusely most of the time. He’s patient because we’re all human. We all screw up. That is the principle that he lives by and he makes you feel like you can be more of yourself around him. So after a year, there are no more reservations and you feel a lot more comfortable in your skin.

Until this day, he had never let his anger out on you, and he had never opened his mouth to yell at you in any way. Until that day.

He’s different when he comes home. He finds himself at his wit's end, and he has been ever since that godforsaken murder trial started. When he comes home, you don’t think much of his distance toward you, the denial of a proper kiss, and his grunts as he lowers himself on the couch instead of asking you about your day. You don’t think much until it all goes wrong, and you’re not even sure at what point it does or what you did to deserve this, but there has to be a reason because the man you’re seeing right now is not the Matt you usually get to see.

We all have bad days sometimes, others more often, but this seems deeper than just a bad day at the courthouse. This is not the face of an exhausted man after a long work day that just needs some kisses and maybe a blowjob, or to have sex with his girlfriend in all his dominant glory with aftercare to put the cherry on top. This is not Matt Murdock, this is the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen that comes through the front door, tosses his cane into a corner, and then just falls on the couch like a wet sack of potatoes, his fists clenched as if he is ready to explode any second.

You’ve been taught to tread carefully, so you do. You approach him only slowly because you are worried, you always are. Perhaps it’s the line of questioning that has him exploding in no time.

“You okay?” you ask.

He props his feet up on the living room table and huffs. “Fine,” he says.

“You don’t look fine. Did something happen?”

You’ve brought him a glass of water, which he takes with a curt nod. Something is bothering him, but he won’t talk to you.

“Bad day at work?”

“It doesn’t matter now. I’m fine. I just want to forget that today ever happened.”

“You want some coffee?” you decide to ask instead.

“No,” he says.

His leg starts to bounce. It only does when he is agitated or overstimulated and is trying to deal with the world around him. 

“Do you want me to run you a bath?”

He sighs. “No.”

“We still have leftovers, maybe I could warm them up.”

His tone is harsher this time, “No!”

You blink, a little taken aback by the force in his voice and involuntarily, you start to shake.

“I just want to be alone,” he adds, softer this time. “Can you… you know what, I’m just gonna get changed.”

And like that, he is gone. He disappears into the bedroom and you’re left flabbergasted. You want to ask what’s wrong, but you’re scared. You’ve never been scared of him before. It’s not him, it’s his reaction, and so you retreat into the kitchen. 

Eventually, he comes out again, though he is still missing a shirt. “Have you seen my Columbia sweater?” he asks, the lights of the billboard reflecting off his marble skin. 

“It’s in the washer,” you tell him.

“Why?”

“Because it’s dirty. Matt, what is going on?” You place your mug down and look at him, eyes soft and full of concern.

He only rolls his. “I just want my sweater.” Grabbing the used shirt from the chair at the dinner table, he slips it on. It’s not the fabric he wanted and he tenses up, hating the new sensation already.

“Are you sure this is about your sweater? You’ve been on me ever since you got in.”

“Yes, because you keep asking useless questions.”

“Useless?” You scoff. “So my interest and worry for you are useless?” 

If there is one thing you have gotten good at it has to be defending yourself.

He brushes past you to get a beer from the fridge. “I told you, I’m fine.” He is good at brushing you off because he doesn’t like to admit when he feels weaker than usual.

“You don’t look fine.”

“Oh, my God, then stop fucking looking!”

“Okay, what the hell is your problem?”

He scoffs. “You don’t get it.”

“What don’t I get?”

“Everything.”

“Enlighten me then.”

“It’s not…” his chuckle is bitter. “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. You’re gonna keep seeing problems where there are none, so talking to you makes no sense anyway.”

What did he just say? You are so confused and suddenly very angry that you forget you are holding a glass. You smash it down on the counter, and, as expected, it shatters into a million pieces. Most of them fall to the floor and right at his bare feet. His eyes darken.

Oh.

Now you are scared, and not in a way that resembles sexy foreplay. You are scared because he is turning into a stranger right before your eyes. Suddenly, all you can see is not your loving boyfriend Matt Murdock, you see the anger of both your father and your stepfather in his eyes and hear it in his voice and it instantly tells you, 'this is all your fault'.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble. “I didn’t see…”

“One night,” he says. He moves out of the kitchen, trying not to step into the glass.

You follow him with wide eyes. “What’s that?” 

“One night,” he repeats his earlier statement. “That’s all I wanted. One fucking night where people don’t prod or- or want things from me. And what do you do? You keep talking and talking, and you don’t even care that I simply don’t want to talk.”

“Matt, that is not fair. I just wanted to-“ the tears start to prick in your eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Jesus Christ.” And that’s where your strength stops and you retreat into your shell – the next words out of his mouth come so loud, you could have sworn they echoed off the brick walls and shot straight into your eardrums. “For once in your life, stop fucking apologizing!” 

His hand lifts, mostly to underline his words, and with the bottle in his hand he is suddenly so close, your eyes squeeze shut at the gush of wind. You flinch, your entire body caving in on itself. It’s not even intentional, you can’t help it. You’ve been conditioned to expect the worst when someone raises their hand, and Matt has never done it before. 

He realizes what it looks like the second your heart jumps and your blood rushes loudly in his ear. He can smell your sweat, the tears, and the fear that surrounds you. It’s your pheromones that change and something lingers in the air that makes him stop and think, what did I just do? 

He has been so in his head and the city has been loud for hours, he lost most of his patience at the courthouse, and then you’re there all caring and lovely and he can’t help but tell himself he doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve you. He just wants quiet and to be alone while at the same time, all he wants is you, but it’s too much. It’s all too much.

And now, as you flinch away from him and his booming voice, he snaps back to reality and realizes he made a mistake. He’s never experienced you like this before, and it scares him. 

“Did you just…” he begins, his voice soft and barely above a whisper.

He hears you fall to your knees, the taste of salt thick in the air and your breath shakes with every intake. You bite your lip and you collect the shards, trying to clean up your mess as if he would hate you if you didn’t. You whisper a silent, “Sorry.” And then he hears it. You’re sobbing, you try not to but you are, and it is his fault.

“Did you think I was gonna hit you?” he asks, dreading the answer.

You sniffle, not answering.

You flinched, he heard it, and not because you were surprised. You are scared, he knows. 

He slowly approaches the kitchen. “Sweetheart, talk to me.”

“I just gotta clean this up,” you whimper and you brush the glass together with shaky hands. The tears are running down your cheeks in thick streams and your teeth have gnawed your bottom lip bloody, your throat dry with the denied sobs.

“I just gotta clean this up and then I can make you dinner or something. I don’t… I can fix this. I’ll fix this. I’m sorry.”

It’s your fault, you tell yourself. You pushed him. You deserve this. He worked hard the entire day and you annoyed him. He has every right to do this. In your head, at least. It makes all sense in your head while in reality, Matt has never been more shocked to read your body language than he is now.

He slowly kneels in front of you. “Answer me this,” he says, “did you flinch because you thought I was gonna hit you or because I yelled?”

You shrug, unable to look at him. One of the shards slides across your finger and you hiss, the smallest cut forming and causing blood to pool out of your skin. Still, you don’t stop. You need to clean this up before he gets even angrier at you. In your state, you don’t realize his voice has softened and he no longer stares at you with those blacked-out eyes. He looks sympathetic, almost, but most of all the guilt has spread throughout his features and his heart. He is aching to touch you, but you are scared and shaking and he doesn’t want to hurt you any further than he already has.

He had been so ignorant that he didn’t see the signs before.

“Why are you crying?” he asks again.

You wipe your cheeks. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you. It’s my fault,” you say. “I’ll clean this up, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“Hey.”

“No, I gotta-”

“Stop.” His hand is on your arm then. “You cut yourself.”

“I’m sorry,” it’s a mantra you’ve taught yourself to say in the hopes you could somehow fix this before it’s too late.

But it’s not too late. When you finally look up, he’s smiling softly, and his thumb is stroking over your skin in circles. 

“I’m sorry,” it’s his turn to say it. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. None of this is your fault. I was so caught up in my own shit, I… God, I would never hit you. I just- I didn’t think when I raised my hand. I didn’t think what it might look like to you. And I didn’t think when I yelled because I… in my head, I wasn’t thinking.”

Your facade cracks even more to the point you are seethrough and your defenses have fallen completely. You’re a snotty mess, shaking violently in his grasp. 

“I’m trying, I swear I’m trying to be better. Just don’t be angry with me,” your voice is bordering on helpless little sobs, your lips turned downward and God, you are shaking so badly, you haven’t done so since the last fight with your father when you were a teenager. 

Matt’s face softens even more, but there is a pain in there too. He takes a paper towel to wrap around your injured finger and he holds your hand, not sure if he is allowed to touch anywhere else, but he wants you to know he is here and he is going nowhere. He is neither mad nor is he going to break up with you. You try to tell yourself that, but it’s hard with the demon in your head whispering all those awful things into your ear, reminding you that everything bad that happens can only be your fault and that there is no use for you but to destroy and disappoint. But you don’t want to disappoint, you want him to be proud of you. You want him to hold you and tell you everything is alright. But you’re scared and you feel so stupidly guilty for something you can’t even put a finger on. Your bleeding finger.

“Angry with you?” he says. “No.” Matt chuckles, but it’s broken and almost whiny as he does so. “I’m not angry at you, bug. Of course not. I was just angry with the world. I was angry at everything else, but not you. I’m not angry at you. I couldn’t possibly be. I’m sorry, it wasn’t fair of me to take it out on you. I realize that now. And the glass…” he forces you away from the chaos gently, helping you stand up without hurting yourself further. “It’s just glass,” he tells you. “I’ll clean it up. There’s nothing bad about breaking something.”

“But the mess,” you say. 

“Fuck the mess. The whole apartment’s a mess.”

“I’m so sorry! I can clean it. I can clean up, I promise. I just… I’m so sorry, Matt.”

“Stop apologizing, baby, please. The mess doesn’t matter. The apartment doesn’t matter, and the glass does not fucking matter. None of this is your fault. You didn’t do anything but try to help. I had no right to yell at you. And my hand… I would never hit you. Never.” He squeezes your hand. “I love you.”

You hiccup, whimpering when he pulls you away from the glass on the floor and pulls you into his arms. His chin rests on the crown of your head and you mold into him, the tears taking on new speed and wetting through his shirt. He strokes your back, not sure what else to do, and his lips find your temple. “God, I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that, none of that.”

You cling tighter to him. 

He keeps asking himself the same question over and over again. “Who hurt you?” he asks. It’s a valid question. A fear like that doesn’t just stem from nothing. Something happened in the past to have traumatized you this badly. 

Your breathing eventually slows down, as do your tears, and you look up at him through swollen eyes. His white shirt is wet now, but he doesn’t care, he only hugs you back to his chest. “My father used to yell at me whenever I did something wrong,” you tell him, your voice muffled through his chest, but he understands every word. 

His grip tightens. “Did he hit you?”

“Sometimes, but… I remember that one time I forgot to clean up after myself and he just… he…” The lack of oxygen makes you shudder and you hiccup again, nails digging into his back. “I’m sorry, he just… yelled at me. Sometimes, he’d slap me, but only sometimes. He’d threaten most of the time, but he didn’t do it often. And I mean, I was a hard kid to raise, I-“

“No, don’t blame yourself,” he is quick to cut you off. “You were a kid.”

You shudder again. “Well, I… you know, he blamed me for the smallest of things, so I got used to apologizing and trying to please everyone, but I can’t always do that. I try to fix things, but it doesn’t always work. He used to yell at me every damn time and I just… I get scared. I don’t like it when people raise their voices. It makes me feel so guilty and now I even broke a glass. That’s my fault. I shouldn’t have… you had a bad day, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry like this. I swear I’m not a baby.”

You move away to rub your eyes. He grabs your face, smoothing the pads of his thumbs over your wet cheeks. The heat has pooled under the skin in an upset blush. 

“Don’t apologize,” he says. “It’s okay to cry. If I’d known, baby, I…” Matt can only shake his head in disbelief.

He loves you more than anything and to see you hurting because of something another man did to you, a man who is supposed to protect you, makes him feel all kinds of things, but none of them positive. 

But his anger doesn’t matter. This is about you. He has to take care of you now, not himself, and definitely not your father. It’s just you on his mind.

You choke on nothing. “He told me I have no reason to cry because he’s just stating facts.”

Matt clicks his tongue. “No, don’t ever think that again. You have every right to cry when you feel the need to.”

“It makes me weak,” you say.

“Your father’s wrong. You’re the strongest person I know,” he says. “And the fact that he yelled at you and blamed you for things that were out of your control… no one has the right to treat you like that, not even your parents, and he should have never even thought about raising his hand against you. That’s abuse. I can’t believe- fuck! Do you understand that it wasn’t your fault? That he had no right to do that?”

“Yes, but… it happened. Maybe I deserved some of those slaps. I mean you… I- I don’t know. It happened, we can’t change it. And who knows, maybe he was right.”

“Stop it! That’s not true and you know it.”

“I know, but-“

“No buts, sweetheart. I would never raise my hand against you, I promise. I’m not like your father. No one should be like him. You deserve so much better.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” you sniffle, “it was just instinct.”

“Shh,” Matt kisses you gently, “I know. It’s like me dodging punches in a fight. It’s a defense mechanism. Your father, I… you’ve never said anything. I would’ve never suspected this.”

“‘Cause I didn’t think it was important. This never happened before. You never yelled before.”

“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. You should have told me,” he says. “It’s important to me. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you. I want you to feel comfortable around me, not scared.”

You nod. “And I am, really, it’s just… I thought I did something wrong.”

His smile is soft when he leans in to kiss you again, tasting the tears on your lips. “You didn’t. I let my anger out on you for no reason. You didn’t deserve that. It won’t happen again, I promise,” and he dives right back in. 

You wrap your arms around his neck, relaxing in his arms as his lips move against yours with sweet precision, making you feel lightheaded. He scared you, that much is true, but it was neither you nor his fault and you realize that now, safe in his arms as he proves his devotion to you with a single breath into your mouth. With his gentle touch around your waist he promises never to hurt you, never to let his anger out on you again, and he promises that he will drive himself to hell personally if he ever scares you like that again because he couldn’t forgive himself if anything happened to you because of him. He couldn’t live with himself if he broke your heart or triggered the trauma you brought into the relationship from your broken childhood, and he promises that he will never leave you, never put you second and always hold you when times get hard because people screw up, bad things happen, and you might be at fault sometimes, but so is he and there is no reason to be put down for being human. He wants to teach you that, he wants to help you heal yourself, and you have never felt more in love than at that moment, losing yourself in his lips, eyes and arms.

He breaks the kiss, moving on to your forehead. “If there is anything else I need to know,” he breathes hotly against your already heated skin, and the exhaustion slowly starts to seep into your bones as the shakes and tension subside from your bones, “please tell me before I make another mistake that might trigger you.”

You take in a deep breath, shaking your head. “There is not much else. My childhood wasn’t the best, but that’s okay,” you say. 

He brushes his knuckles over your cheekbone. “Bad enough. Promise you’ll tell me if something else might come up?” He resembles a puppy as he tries to meet your eyes, but he fails miserably.

So you promise him, “Okay.”

“Can you forgive me for yelling?”

Your tears have finally come to a halt. “Yes,” you say. 

“Thank you.”

Your eyes fall on the mess on the kitchen floor again and you go to grab the broom. Matt’s arm around your frame stop you and he gently pushes you out of the kitchen. “Let me clean it up,” he says. “Put a bandaid on your finger and then go lie down. I’ll deal with it.”

“No, I broke it. Please, Matt, let me do this.”

“Not everything is your fault, sweetheart. Besides, you already cut yourself once and with how you’re shaking, the next time you accidentally cut yourself I’m sure you’re gonna cause more damage.”

“But I-”

“Go to bed,” he insists, “I’ll be there in a second and then we’ll cuddle so you know I’m serious when I say that I love you more than life itself.”

The weight and guilt fall off your heart. “I love you,” you tell him. “More than life itself, too.”

It’s not a lie. If there is anything or anyone you love, it’s him, and you’ve never been this in love with anyone before. It’s sickening to the point it hurts, but the pain is sweet and it’s all worth it because with Matt, you can be yourself. 

The past matters just a little less with someone who loves you right by your side, and he would never give up on you like everyone else did before him. 

[sturniolos-blog]

could u do smth like before they had kids (like their early marriage years) they got into a rlly bad fight cuz they both think that marriage is much amd isn’t for them (they even think to devorce) so they don’t talk a day or two but after that they’re somehow finding a way to make up (but like can you like rlly rlly angst i want to read blood sweat tears ahahahahha anyway i looove your stories they are the best!!!)

Do you still want me? - Matt Sturniolo x Y/n oneshot

warnings - angst, arguing, swearing, sad but happy ending, mentions of a bad drinking habit, violence, Y/n going crazy

disclaimer: 3rd person POV, also i added Matt having a drinking problem to spice it up some more.

—————————

9:20pm

“I don’t fucking know, Matt!” Y/n yells as her and her husband stand in the living room arguing with each other.

“You don’t know what, y/n? Huh!? You don’t know what!?” Matt yells back, his face red with anger.

“I don’t know if i can do this anymore!” Y/n tears up, taking a second to take a breath.

Matt lets out a huff, “God, what are you talking about, Y/n?!” He throws his hands up before he rubs his beard.

Y/n takes in a shaky breath, “T-the coming home late, the going out for hours at a time, the not telling me where you are and then calling me because you need a ride home. A-and it’s not even that you’re calling me that’s the problem it’s the being so drunk where you can barely walk that’s the problem, Matthew. When i met you, you were sober- a-and now i can barely find a time when you are sober, s-so am i the problem?” Y/n asks, her voice cracking.

Matt shakes his head, “No, of course not. I-i just- a lot has been going on with work. A-and the drinking..” Matt trails off, swallowing harshly. Matt picks at his nails as he shrugs, “I don’t know.. it’s not you though, baby. It’s not you.” He said, almost in a whisper.

Y/n nods. “I don’t know what to do anymore, all we do is argue now.” Y/n points out.

Matt scoffs, “All married couples arg-”

“Not like this!” Y/n yells, cutting him off. “Not like this, okay? So we need to fucking figure it out because I want you to be the man i raise children with but if you can’t handle being a husband then how in the hell would you handle being a father?” Y/n says, a tear running down her cheek as she sniffles.

Inside, Matt’s heart breaks, he feels it break, he feels it break at her words. She was right, and he knew that. Outside, he didn’t blink an eye, he looked at her, “Maybe I won’t. Maybe I won’t handle it, maybe i won’t handle anything anymore! I’m done, Y/n.” Matt says, his voice cracking slightly.

Y/n let’s out a soft sob, “Y-you don’t mean that, Matt. Look, please I just- i just want us to work through this like always-”

“No, Y/n. You’re right. I drink, i work, im not perfect enough for you.” Matt says, his face was serious, which confused Y/n.

“D-don’t blame this on me!” She yelled, motioning to herself, “I- i love you and I always have a-and i wouldn’t give up this easily but you clearly don’t care anymore. I-i mean do you-” Y/n pauses to take a breath, “D-do you still want me?” She stutters out, hot tears still streaming down her face.

Matt doesn’t say anything, looking down.

Y/n let’s out a heart broken sob, “I-i thought you loved me!” She cried, her hand going to clench her shirt, right where her heart was.

“I do..” Matt whispered, scratching his head and looking away.

Y/n shook her head, “You don’t a-and that’s fine n-now. I just- i thought i married the love of my life and the sweetest guy i’ve ever met but clearly that person isn’t here anymore.” Y/n sobbed.

Matt didn’t say anything once again, he sniffled, not making eye contact with her.

“Look me in the eyes, and tell me you want a divorce, and we’ll do it. As soon as possible.” Y/n says, taking a step closer to Matt.

Matt locked eyes with her for a second, “I want..” He stopped, “I want a-” He stopped again, choking on his own words, the words he knew he didn’t wanna say, but Matt was that stubborn.

Y/n let out a laugh, taking a step back, “You can’t. You can’t say i-”

“I want a divorce.” Matt said, making Y/n’s amused face drop.

Y/n scoffed, but nodded. She felt anger building up in her body, “Fine! You know what!? F-fuck this then!” Y/n looked around the living room, Matt watching with a confused look.

Y/n suddenly walked over to the coffee table, picking up the picture frame Matt and Y/n had taken on the beach right after they got engaged.

Matt’s eyes glanced from Y/n’s hand with the picture frame to her enraged face. “Wait, what are you-”

smash!

Y/n had threw the once glass picture frame on the floor, making it break and making chips of glass scatter.

“What the fuck?!” Matt yells out, taking a step towards Y/n.

Y/n let out a sob as she sniffled, looking down at the picture frame before her eyes lock on another frame on the wall, their first year anniversary of dating.

“Y/n, don’t.” Matt warned her, putting his hand out but that didn’t stop her, making her walk over and take it off the wall.

“You don’t want me anymore, Matt?” She scoffed.

“Baby, please-”

Smash!

Y/n let out another cry as her break down continued. Through their whole relationship, even before then Matt had thought he’d seen the absolute worst of her, but no, this was worse.

“Y/n, I do love you, please, stop.” Matt said, he was shocked, but he meant what he said.

Y/n looked at him and shook her head, her slowly making her way towards one in particular heart-shaped frame.

It was their wedding photo, the day they made their vows to each other. The day Y/n and Matt promised each other, to love each other through the good, and the bad.

“Y/n. Don’t fucking do it.” Matt said, almost wanting to grab her and pull her back.

Y/n cried as she took the frame off the wall, she stared down at it as seconds went by.

Matt waited, and waited, and waited some more for another sound of glass breaking.

But he didn’t.

No, all he heard was Y/n’s sobs and sniffles as she stared down at the photo, some tears making its way on the glass and running down to the point of the heart.

“Y-you said you loved me!” Y/n sobbed, slowly falling too her knees.

Matt ran over to her, taking her into his arms and holding her, taking the frame from her hands and placing it on the floor before she put her head in his chest.

“I’m s-so sorry, Matt. P-please don’t leave me, i can’t do it alone!” Y/n’s sobbed racked her whole body against Matt’s.

Matt had tears running down his own cheeks as his wife fell apart in his arms, “I-i don’t wanna l-leave you, Y/n. I’m not, i won’t.” He promised, holding her tightly.

Y/n’s sobs continued, her hands grasping onto Matt’s sweatshirt as her tears sank into the front of it, Matt feeling it on his chest.

Matt held her, his fingers slowly stroking her hair, this small gesture always calmed her down, the way it felt against her scalp, or how small and supposedly meaningless it is.

It always meant something to Y/n. Always.

As Matt’s fingers brushed through her hair, Y/n’s sobs slowly slowed down, and she slowly fell asleep.

Matt noticed this when she didn’t hear the racks of her sobs or the sniffles in between. He noticed this when her fingers that once had a grasp on his sweatshirt let go. And he also noticed this when he felt the tears stop.

He kissed her head, not knowing what to do as he looked around, looking at the glass that was shattered, the frames Y/n smashed.

He slowly lifted Y/n, picking his wife up and walking upstairs, walking into their shared bedroom, placing her small body on her side of the bed.

Placing a kiss on her forehead, and covering her with the quilt.

—————————

9:34am

Y/n let’s out a soft sigh as she stretches, slowly waking up, feeling a comfortable mattress beneath her.

She rubs her eyes a sits up, not remembering how she got here as she looked around her and Matt’s room, taking note Matt wasn’t laying next to her.

A wave of remembrance came from last night, her heart panging as she remembered what Matt said to her, and what she did in response.

“Shit..” Y/n groaned, getting out of bed and slowly walking out of their room.

She then braces herself and walks downstairs, expecting to see the glass on the floor, and also not expecting to see Matt.

But wasn’t she surprised.

She made it to the bottom step and looked at the clean floor, no broken picture frames.

In fact, the picture frames were on the wall, just like they were before.

Was everything just a dream? God she hoped so.

Her thoughts got interrupted when Matt walks in the living room from the kitchen, smiling at Y/n.

“How do you feel, baby?” He asked her softly.

Y/n looked at him, pointing to the frames in the wall, “Did I-” She paused, not wanting to make herself sound crazy. “Did I uh- break those?” She asked, a confused look on her face as she did so.

“Yeah, you did. You remember last night, right?” Matt said, also a confused look coming on his face.

Y/n swallowed and nodded, “Yeah, i do, i just kinda thought it was all a dream.” She shrugged.

Matt shook his head, coming over and placing his hands on Y/n’s waist.

“It wasn’t a dream, no.” He said, his voice low but soft.

Y/n sighed, crossing her arms as Matt’s hands move to rub up and down them. “D-do you want to get a divorce?” Y/n asked cautiously.

Matt looks down for a second, “Of course not, and im sorry that i told you that. I just- i don’t know..” Matt shrugs. “But i do know…” He smiles, leaning closer to me, “I can’t live without you.”

Y/n nods, “Okay, so what next?”

Matt sighs, “I’ll stop drinking, i will not work so much, and i’ll work for this marriage. A-and when i get you pregnant in a couple years, i’ll be there for you and the baby, or babies..” Matt laughs.

Y/n groans, leaning forward. “God, i love you, Chris and Nick so much but i do not think I can do triplets.”

Matt leans down, kissing her softly. “You can do anything.”

—————————

sorry i like starved you guys, i write like one or two words and then stop love you guys and thanks for the support

taglist: @sturniolosmind @novasturniolo03 @hearts4chriss @vinniehackerslefttoe @christhopersturniolo @mattybswife @streamermattsgf @sturnolio-luvs @sturnioloslurps @marlenafortuna @lovergirl4387 @sturniololovesss

[thezoneblurbs]

Eddsworld MiniFic | PIZZA :D

help im dying for more content 💀💨

Eddsworld Gang x Reader

CHAPTER 1

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

You were never the greatest at expressing your emotions- and not in the aloof cold hard exterior way. There were times where you were, sure, but it was harder to pin point in what way.

Edd, everyone's bona fide buddy, knew this very well. So when he introduced you to his other friends Matt and Tom he expected things to be a mess.

...

Having been invited over to Edd's apartment for pizza was like a blessing. Your fridge was depressingly baren and grocery shopping procrastination was rampant. Thankfully, his apartment was only a couple floors above you, making your walk short.

At the sight of his door you knocked, shifting in your spot uncomfortably in the empty but still somehow messy hallway. You could hear the loud sounds coming from Edd's tv, presumably drowning out the sounds of your knuckles against the cheap door.

Sighing, you pulled your phone out to text Edd. The sound of the door to your left opening caught your attention. You kept your face buried in your phone as you texted Edd that you were at his door, too socially anxious to glance at whoever just exited their apartment.

"Um..'scuse me.."

You darted your head up from your phone to look at the person...guy?

He had no eyes, or all black eyes, you couldn't tell but it made you think of 2-D from Gorillaz. You took in his appearance as you spoke,

"Oh- sorry."

You moved to be out of his way, which you thought was the rest of the hallway. Edd had neglected to mention that it wasn't just gonna be you and him for pizza that night. After having moved closer to Edd's door and glancing at your phone you noticed two things.

One, this guy hadn't moved and he looked confused. Two, Edd texted back and you could hear footsteps on the other side of his door.

Speaking of the devil, Edd's door opened to reveal...well, Edd.

"Y/n! Tom! Come on in!"

To say you were surprised was an understatement, but you just looked uncomfortable instead. Heat rose to your cheeks, embarrassment now cementing itself within you.

"Heyyyy, Edd."

It was painful how awkward you sounded, at least to you. You moved to let Tom go in first, feeling bad for essentially cutting him off just a second ago. He didn't say anything and just walked inside of Edd's apartment.

It didn't take long for you to walk in after him, glancing at Edd with a genuine look of uncertainty. He just chuckled, patting your back and walking toward his kitchen.

Either it didn't occur to him that he didn't say his friend (or friends, much to your social anxiety's dismay) would be over or he just didn't care. Both were very likely, and it made you deadpan as you followed him.

"So uh, is there anyone else coming that I should know about?"

You made an effort not to make eye contact with Tom from the kitchen, or just in general. Edd's tv was louder inside his apartment, the sound of mario kart wii filling in the ringing of silence.

"Nope! Matt's already here. Also, do you want some supreme pizza? I put a frozen one in the oven but Matt doesn't like peppers on his pizza. It'd basically just be me and Tom eating it if you dont want any."

Grabbing a paper plate from his cabinet, you picked up a few pieces of pepperoni pizza that were already laid out on his counter. It was still warm, but definitely not hot out the oven.

"Matt? Who even are these guys? And uh...sure I'll have some supreme."

Leaning against the kitchen counter, you started eating your pizza. Edd was taking out a pizza from his oven and set it on the counter next to the pepperoni, it was cheese pizza. He was using oven mitts that you got him from a gag store for his birthday a few months ago, they were supposed to be roosters but he called them cock gloves.

"I told you yesterday, they're my life long buddies and I was gonna introduce you guys tonight. Didn't you hear me over the phone?"

"Hey Y/n, I was just calling to bhh brh mn hbmmm-"

Your face was one of disgust as he chewed into the phone.

"Uh...ok Edd, good talk."

*Click!*

-----------------

"No, you just chewed into the phone again."

You rose an eyebrow at him, but he only shrugged. He was so annoying sometimes.

"Oh well. You're here now! Matt put on mario kart if you wanna play."

Edd had taken off the gloves and started shoving pizza in his mouth, his own paper plate having a stack of slices from both the cheese and pepperoni pizza. However, he was too...whatever he was, so you couldn't be mad at him forever.

"I'm gonna go find a seat, you pizza pirate."

He quite literally did the :3 face, which you had no idea how he did but you weren't concerned with that right now.

Walking over to his sofa you noticed that you could either sit between two guys you didn't know in the slightest or sit in Edd's shitty arm chair.

After taking your seat in the arm chair you bit into your pizza, watching whatever was unfolding on the tv. Matt and Tom had glanced at you but their focuses were not held on you. You quietly sighed and leaned back, getting comfortable.

Your embarrassment from earlier still haunted you, and so you were not looking forward to socializing.

"So uh...you're friends with Edd right? How'd you guys meet?"

You looked up from your pizza like you were just caught red handed...which you kind of were red handed. Matt had asked, but he didn't spare anymore glances away from the tv, a wii remote with the wheel attachment on it in his hands.

"Oh um...we met sometime in June, I forgot how we met though.."

Your memory wasn't the greatest; these were the moments that you despised having the memory of the goldfish.

Tom looked over at you, and immediately noticed how you looked so awkward. He snickered, not so much at your response but at your tone.

"Real. I don't even remember how I met Edd or when to be honest."

His voice wasn't necessarily deep, but it sounded coarse. It was like that since May, a time none of them will ever forget- except you of course.

You chuckled, quietly saying yeah. It wasn't really FUNNY per say but it fit the flow of conversation? You honestly didn't know, just going with the flow.

Matt finished his races, and looked over at you. Tom had already gotten up to get a controller for himself, picking Edd's only black controller.

"Wanna play...uh, what's your name?"

Of course. Edd never told them your name.

"Y/n. And sure."

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Hiii it's me, hope you enjoyed haha

Next chapter will be Matt's lobotomy (true very true you can believe me) Edit: I added a flash back divider :3

[greazyfloz]

10 from the new smut prompt list with Matthew tkachuk, that’s so him lol

Smut: 10. “If you can’t sleep, and I can’t sleep… That obviously means we have to have sex, right?” w/ Matthew Tkachuk

Melatonin

It was a long day and all I wanted to do was go home and sleep. As soon as I got home I immediately went to the bedroom and got ready before practically throwing myself in the sheets. Although I was tired all day, somehow, I could not sleep.

Matthew was already in bed sleeping before I even got unto bed myself. I tossed and turned for a bit slowly trying not to wake him but to my surprise I hear him chuckle.

"You're awake?" I question him and he turns himself so he he is now laying on his side that faces me.

"Yeah" he says with a grin on his face

"no hello?" I question him

"I was trying to sleep, I see you are having some trouble too"

"Yeah" I say as we both lay on our sides in the bed looking at eachother.

"Well..." Matthew starts with a grin and I roll my eyes at his tone, knowing where this is going making him chuckle before continuing. "If you can't sleep, and I can't sleep... That obviously means we have to have sex, right?" he says leaning in closer.

I chuckle as he presses his lips against mine before deepening the kiss.

"you agree then?" he mumbles into the kiss as we make out.

"I do" I say with a chuckle as I pull away. I lift the T-shirt I am wearing over my head and throw it on the ground, as Matt shimmies out of his boxers throwing them so they lay on the ground beside my shirt leaving us both naked.

Without any hesitation, our lips meet again. His hand travels up my sides until it reaches my chest. He massages my chest as his mouth begins to trail kisses down my neck until his lip press against my nipple.

Matt flicks his tongue on my nipple and slightly nibbles with his teeth causing me to moan out quietly at the sensation I feel across my chest. He pulls away from my chest and faces me with a smirk. I connect my lips back onto his and we begin making out as his hand travels down my stomach until his fingers begin twirling around my clit.

I pull away from the kiss to bite my lip to cover any moan that wants to escape my mouth.

"You like how that feels?" Matthew smirks. I bite my lip and nod my head looking at him with big doe eyes. "What about this?" he asks me as he enters his middle and ring finger deep inside of me, making me throw my head back. I felt Matthew attach his lips on to my neck as I try to cover my moans, "Does this feel good baby?" he asks

"Y-yes" I moan out breathlessly as his fingers curl and uncurl fast and hard inside of me, "D-don't stop"

He stops curling his fingers than straightens them before pumping them in and out of me. I let out a moan before biting my lip to stop anymore for escaping my mouth.

"I want to hear you" he tells me

I feel him release his fingers from inside of me then grab my neck to guide my mouth to his. As me make out, Matthew positions himself between my legs as he strokes his cock. He slides his cock up and down my slit once before pulling away from the kiss to allow himself to slam full force inside of me.

"Matt! Baby! Fuck!" I moan out as he thrusts hard inside of me.

He continues thrusting hard and fast inside of me until both of us are out of breath. "I'm going to- I'm cumming" he says has he bucks his hips hard inside of me, "F-fuck!"

He releases himself inside of me before throwing himself on the bed beside me, "Fuck, I'm tired" he chuckles making me chuckle as well as I stand up from the bed and make my way to the bathroom to wash off.

When I re-enter the room I find Matthew fast asleep on the bed. I roll my eyes and chuckle before re entering the sheets beside him with hopes I fall asleep just as fast.

[writing-whump]

Enjoy being sick a little more

Seline is back. Rip has a cold. Matthew is trying to make sense of it all.

Matt felt rather stupid as he knocked on the door of the apartment Isaiah got for Dylan and Rip. It was right opposite theirs, but he had never been inside before.

There was lot of loud shuffling around before Dylan opened the door and waved him in without hesitation. "Oh thank god. Could you please take her away already?"

Matt's eyebrows shot up. "Huh? Who?"

"My sister, who else?"

"I- I didn't know she was back." A wave of annoyance rose in him with the realization. Couldn't she at least have said hello? Why was she here before going to her own place?

"Don't tell me she is actually moving over to you guys..."

Dylan froze mid-step and gave him a horrified look. "Oh, I sure hope not! I don't wanna be living with her again. Look what she has done to the place since she came! It's wrecked."

"It's called cleaning, D," came a raspy voice from the kitchen. Matt walked in, intrigued.

The kitchen was indeed a mess, pans and glasses outside their cupboards.

Rip was leaning on the counter, weirdly bright red dots almost glowing on his way too pale face.

Matt could also finally hear Seline's voice. She was talking rapidly in a language he couldn't understand inside the bathroom.

"She is putting everything out, cleaning it from 'dust' and putting it back. She threw herself at the bathroom while we wait for the kitchen to dry up," Dylan explained, following Matthew's gaze.

"You should go help-" Rip was interrupted by a throaty cough, almost doubling over where he stood. Matt suddenly understood why he was gripping the counter so strongly.

"You look like you should be in bed," the red wolf commented. He wasn't if there were rules in the wolf ettitqute about how he should talk with the pup, so he talked like anyone else. At least after the one month sea stay, Rip's shadow didn't react to nobody in the group as long as there were no shadows involved.

Rip rubbed at his throat like it hurt, before lifting his head again, tensing as if he forgot Matt was there. "I'm okay. This is nothing."

"He caught a nasty cold right after we got back. It's been transforming into a cough lately," Dylan reported. "Honestly. Instead of enjoying being sick he insists on helping Sel with cleaning. They are both hellbent on making me feel bad so I have to help too, although it's totally unnecessary."

Rip rolled his eyes. "It's our place. Your sister shouldn't be clea-" he broke into another coughing fit, making worrisome choking noises.

Matt was tempted to put his hand on his shoulder with how much Rip was swaying.

"It's her coping mechanism or whatever. She feels better when cleaning so let her clean. Win win situation. We are doing her a favour, really," Dylan protested smugly, throwing his hands out.

"I'm not even sure we are keeping the place now that her and Isaiah aren't..." Rip's voice trailed off, not because of the cough this time.

Matt sighed. Rip must have been worried about whether Isaiah would still want to pay for his ex-girlfriend's brother's place.

Dylan shook his head in disbelief as if the idea was entirely unfathomable. "He won't kick us out. Please. He is too noble and all that. And if he does, then Sel or my parents will pitch in."

Matthew grimaced. "Shouldn't you pitch in somehow?"

Dylan shivered dramatically. "Ehh, then I would have to find work. Brrr."

"When I want to get impressed it comes into question for him to work with humans he ruins it by being lazy," Rip complained. He swayed once again, blinking his eyes open with effort.

Matthew made the executive decision to get closer and experimentally push the kid towards the living room. "You sit down. Come on, buddy, this ain't helping."

Rip made an meager attempt to protest, but he was so ridiculously weak it was easy to manhandle him towards the couch. The training must have been a load for him to get this sick right after it ended.

Matthew untangled a blanket from the end of the couch and three it over Rip's shivering form, pointing at him. "You are getting soup." He pointed at Dylan. "And you are helping."

Rip's eyes were so wide the dark melted in the blue in his flushed face. Matt patted his leg for good measure and went back into the kitchen to inspect the fridge. "Yeah, we can throw together a broth from this."

Dylan stuck out his tongue at him. "Ahhh, fine. Whatever. What do I do?"

"I'll get the water to boil, you clean the vegetables."

Dylan grumbled something, but it wasn't loud enough to be heard, so Matt took it as ascent. He wanted a minute with the kid anyway.

Matt looked back towards the bathroom. "So...do you know anything? Did she talk to you?"

Dylan made a sour face. "Of course she did. I know more than I ever bargained for." The carrots were the first to go, despite how clumsy Dylan was with the peeling knife. "Isaiah this, Isaiah that- I swear I never heard his name more times than today."

"And? What did you find out?"

Dylan made a dramatic pause. "Honestly, it's way too convulsed and complicated. I couldn't understand half of it and the other half bored me to tears."

"You are not very informative." His eyes kept fleeing towards the bathroom door and Seline's voice. "Who is she even talking to for so long?"

Dylan shrugged. "Gramps. She had a two hour phone call with mom and now it's his turn." He connected his fingers over the peeled carrot. "The three of them are the same. You give them a topic and they will talk about it for four hours only to decide it's impossible to decide."

Matthew's eyebrows were so high up they must have been hidden by his bangs. "What?"

"Yep. Thank god my dad is the same as me, or normalcy would have been a minority in our family." He put the last of the carrots and celery into the boiling water.

"I have never heard her...talking so fast." Or in Slovak for that matter. It now striked him as strange that Seline had a lanaguge like this—her mother language—and they weren't part of it at all. Even her voice sounded different. There was something carefree and confident about it never had before.

"Lucky man," Dylan said, glaring at the soup. "I don't know if this will be worth eating without meat. When is Isaiah coming home?"

Matthew frowned. "You can't just keeping eating rests from what he cooks, you know."

"Bet Sel won't be eating much of his cooking either now. Or maybe he won't cook for her anymore. Ah man, I don't envy your situation."

"Very funny." Though Matt looked a bit sceptically at the soup too. There wasn't much swimming inside, it would be all watery. "Why isn't she talking to me?"

Dylan started to make himself a protein shake, obviously giving up on the soup. "Hmmm. I wouldn't read too much into it. When she is in this overthinking stage, the simplest things get difficult. I have seen her paralysed at the door, because she couldn't decide if she should or shouldn't greet a neighbour."

Matthew scrunched his nose, not sure what to make of it.

"You want a tip?" Dyland asked. "Don't reproach her right now. Act like it's fine and you'll take the pressure off of her about how and what she is supposed to talk to you about." He shook the shake bottle with practiced vehemence. "I can't believe you guys have never seen her like this after a year of living together. She must have been holding back a lot."

Oh he didn't like the sound of that at all, turning abruptly towards Dylan. "You don't mean-"

Dylan waved him off. "Hey, it's impressive. My sister is super selfish. She only does things that bring her joy, going against the flow with everything. For her to be this put together for you guys...for a year, she must have cared a lot." He took a sip of the shake, nonchalantly turning Matthew's world upside down.

"I-I-...can you watch the soup until it boils and put the timer on? I'll...check on Rip."

Dylan nodded, taking other greedy gulp of his drink. Matthew couldn't tell if the guy was that unobservant or just so good at not caring about what he saw. Whatever he saw in Matthew's expression didn't disturb him at all.

At least Rip seemed to have completely different problems, trying to cough out a lung over the couch. That got Matt's attention right away.

"Alright, buddy, that's enough. Stop choking." Matt sat down beside him, hands on Rip's shoulders to prop him back up against the couch.

The air wheezed in and out of Rip's mouth with a very disturbing sound. "I'm fine."

Matt put the back of his hand against his temple, retracting it just as quickly. "Definitely running a fever there."

Something nervous crossed Rip's features. "I can still-"

"Why? Why would you need to do anything? Just take a break and relax. You are too tense. It's just a cold man, you don't have to try so hard to push through it."

Rip wrapped his hands inside the blanket on his lap, sullenly staring at the floor for good give minutes. "...I always push through it. I'm not weak that I-"

Matthew sighed. "Nobody is saying you are weak. But you don't have to push yourself here so why not make the best of the place?"

Rip swallowed dryly. He couldn't meet Matthew's eyes again, looking torn.

Matthew purposefully made his body relax, stretching out his legs and bracing an arm around the back of the couch. "Sickness is something to be enjoyed, eh?" Dylan's statement from earlier struck him hard, and he had been with a nice pack and a real friend for some time now.

Rip cleared his throat. It didn't work, so he had to cough again, holding up his fist to his mouth. "...such bullshit. Best time of the year? Jesus Christ."

Matthew chuckled. "In his world, it means being pampered and taken care of, when you don't have to do anything."

"That experience is outside of my world."

Matthew thought of Seline's different voice when she talked in Slovak and wondered what other worlds he had been missing.

[sturnsstar]

Treat you better ✶ Matt Sturniolo ✶ pt. 1

a/n: first fic I write for this fandom! Feedback is greatly appreciated :) Hope you like it! This will have two parts, the second one will contain smut xx

pairing: fem reader x Matt Sturniolo

warnings: angst and fluff, swearing, reader has a panic attack and is very insecure. SMUT in the next part!!

requested: no

summary: After reader's boyfriend breaks up with her, she starts feeling unworthy of anyone's love. Luckily, her friend Matt is ready to prove her otherwise.

P.S. english is not my first language.

Even though I’m trying  not to think about it, everything seems so hard right now. I feel drained and tired: every cell of my body is screaming at me to run away and hide from everyone. I don’t  want to be here, at this party, full of people I don’t know who are not aware of my feelings at this very moment.

My boyfriend, or now ex-boyfriend, just dumped me. Right on the spot. Without an apparent motivation or a justification. He made me get ready to accompany him at this stupid party I didn’t want to attend in the first place just to break up with me once there. 

I don’t  know what to do or what to think. Do I just go around this house pretending nothing happened? No one I know is here yet, and there’s a high chance I’ll see that asshole somewhere, probably too occupied to flirt with some random girl, now that he is a free man. 

I read once that heartbreak can actually cause physical pain but never believed it. I have to reevaluate that, because the pain I feel on my chest right now must be real.

I walk through the kitchen and the many bodies crowded there, hoping to reach the back door to get out and find some fresh air. The house feels so constricted, my lungs don’t have enough oxygen to keep functioning normally. Once I realize what I feel coming is a panic attack it’s too late. I should have known the symptoms, since they’ve been so frequent for me the last few months. Between the start of my first Uni year and the numerous fights I had with Hayden, I often found myself with a hand to my chest and my eyes closed, trying to regain my breath and clear my head. The stress and the pressure I felt lately decided to burst through during the most inappropriate times, one of them being right this instant, in a place where I don’t feel safe. 

I am so vulnerable and weak, my head is pounding and I let my eyes close for a few seconds, trying to adjust my breathing. What will I do now? How can I get over this? Tears are streaming down my face, ruining, I’m sure, the make-up I applied a few hours ago.

Suddenly, there’s a warm feeling on my shoulder. A hand, big and smooth, is gripping me tightly, and a voice I think I know from somewhere is calling my name, bringing me back from the dark place I was before.

I open my eyes, finding in front of me a pair of blue eyes with a worried expression, staring right back at me.

“What is it? What happened?” 

I want to tell him, I really do, but words feel like a boulder in my stomach. My mouth opens, but no sound comes out, except for a feeble screech. I feel so ashamed and yet safe, now that Matt is here with me. I am not alone anymore, I know he will help me. He’s the only one who knows what I am going through right now. Matt is always there when I need him, somehow. 

His expression changes, like he suddenly has a realization. He understands what’s wrong with me, even without me saying anything to him.

“Alright, this is what we’ll do. You follow me and we sit down on that bench over there. I will hold your hand, if you want. Think you can do that  for me?”

That is exactly what I need. The reassurance, someone who tells me I can rely on them. So I grab his hand, the one that wasn’t on my shoulder, and my silent answer is enough for him, cause he turns around and starts moving towards the white bench, his hold on me strong and firm. We sit next to each other, his jeans cladded thigh brushing against mine, our hands still connected. 

My breathing slows down, but it’s still a bit difficult for me to talk. Matt speaks again. 

“Listen to my breathing and try to match it. You’re okay. We’re sitting on a bench in a backyard, there’s no one else, just you and me. You can feel safe with me, you know that.”

Of course I know that. It’s one of the few facts I am fully certain of. In all the years I’ve known Matthew Sturniolo, he has never let me down once. He was my favorite playmate at kindergarten; the little boy I went crying to when someone made fun of me in elementary school; the one who copied my math homework through middle school and high school; the boy who knew all about my insecurities and my secrets no one else was aware of.  

I finally stop crying and my breathing goes back to normal after a few minutes, thanks to Matt’s presence and its power to ground me. 

“Will you tell me what happened now?” His face is worried, there’s sadness in his eyes and it irks me to know I am the cause of his apprehension.

So I tell him: I recount the last few months of my life, the ones where he wasn’t present exclusively for the fact that Hayden wanted me to stay away from him. I tell him about the anxiety I’ve been feeling, the fear of not meeting everyone’s expectations over me. I tell him about what happened tonight, how the pain I felt was so unbearable I needed to get away. And he listens, silently, at every word I speak. 

“I am so sorry, Matt, for how I treated you” I whisper, looking at the ground. I am too embarrassed to face him, because he always had a weird feeling about my ex-boyfriend and I never really listened to him. Embarrassed also for the fact that I let him go so easily, just for some stupid tantrum of an insecure guy.

He chuckles, and his hold on my hand tightens. 

“Don’t worry about it, I knew something like that could have happened, with an asshole like Hayden” I laugh at that, releasing a bit of the tension I accumulated tonight. 

“Are you here with your brothers? I haven’t seen them in so long, I miss them” I ask him, feeling ashamed once again and also needy of their company. Chris and Nick were a big part of my childhood as well. My bond with them is not as strong as the one I share with Matt, but the affection I feel for them it’s immense.  

“I left them at the entrance. They’re not very happy with me right now, since I forced them to come to this party. But I knew you were there and had to see you.” Matt smiles and gets up, urging me to do the same. I blink at his last words, but he doesn’t let me elaborate them cause he’s practically dragging me back to the house, his face now covered from my view, but I can notice a slight blush forming on his cheeks.

Turns out, Chris and Nick weren't mad at me either. Well, Nick tried to act tough at the beginning, but seeing my state and the murderous look Matt gave him, he stopped pretty quickly and gave me a warm hug, almost causing me to cry again. I just missed these guys so much, I can’t believe I went without them for three whole months.

We stay at the party for a bit longer, Chris trying his best to make me laugh and generally succeeding, even though some of his best jokes consist of burping in front of his brothers’ faces, causing punches and swears to fly around. 

Matt drives me home. The journey is quiet except for the music playing from the car stereo. He stops in front of his house first to let his brothers go home, and I frown at him. 

“I don’t want to hear them complaining because they’re tired or some shit” he explains to me, and I still look at him with a raised brow, so he just sighs. “Fine, I want to be with you for a while longer without them. Is it so hard to believe?” It is actually hard to believe for me right now. Not because of Matt, though. 

The sadness I felt earlier tonight has dissipated, but it’s not completely gone. My head is making a thousand thoughts and my insecurities have taken hold of me. I feel so unworthy of Matt’s care for me, when I did nothing for the past months but hurt him. 

He starts the engine and we’re on the road again. My eyes trail outside the window seat, mesmerized by the city lights. 

“You can tell me how you’re feeling, you know” Matt’s voice breaks my reverie, and I sigh.

“I just…” I start, eyes still not looking at him.“I don’t understand what I did wrong. I did everything he told me to do! For fuck’s sake, I stopped seeing you because he felt jealous. I guess I’m just trying to get some kind of closure, you know?” I’m rambling right now, but I don’t care. Matt never judged me before, and I need this, I need to tell someone what’s going on in my head, otherwise it will be a never ending circle of self pity.

He hums, listening intently to my words. I vomit all the insecurities that crept up upon me that evening, and without even realizing we arrive at my place.

Matt turns off the car, he unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of the vehicle. Confused, I follow his lead, coming out of the car almost the exact time he reaches me. I look up at him, expecting some kind of encouraging words towards me or even a little lecture. 

Instead, all I see is such adoration and love in his eyes that I almost have to look away, but before I do that, his arms encircle my shoulders and he pulls me against him, his warm chest a welcome caress against my cheek. I freeze, so unaccustomed to the sudden physical affection. But my body knows this feeling quite well, and it acts on its own. I hug him back, my arms encircling his waist and my head resting against his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat.

His voice, muffled against my hair, trembles with a frantic plea. "Never again," he whispers. "Promise me, don't vanish like that. And don't believe that nonsense. You're not unworthy of love. You just happen to have chosen the wrong person to take it from." I can't muster the strength to argue with him; I simply shake my head, too weary to contradict his words. 

Matt moves his head away from my shoulder, his arms still around me. 

“I wish you’d see yourself the way I see you. Maybe you’d understand, then” I frown at him.

“How do you see me?” I’m not sure where the courage to ask that question comes from, but I have a feeling in my stomach that his answer might change everything for me. For us.

He smiles at me, his teeth showing. “Now it’s not the time or place to tell you. If you still want to know, ask me in a month or something” he steps back and goes to the driver seat, getting in the car without looking at me, while my head spins. What is that supposed to mean? My curiosity is killing me, I want to know what he means so badly, but I know him: if he’s made his mind up, he won’t tell me until he feels like the right time has come. 

I shake my head, the shadow of a smile on my face, and I turn, going towards my house. I hear the car’s engine starting again, and it’s only after I close the door behind me that Matt departs. 

Fine then, I’ll wait for him to tell me. Something to look forward to, maybe.

Part 2 will be published soon!

[sergeifyodorov]

Any interest in grading everyone’s first day of free agency? Would love to hear your thoughts!!

ooh okay ! well as tuned in as i am i didn't catch everything so this is going to be pretty incomplete/fairly uninformed but here's my attempt:

boston bruins: that zadorov contract LOL AND LMAO (i say as if hes not going to immediately skyrocket to excellence.) that lindholm contract might be even worse with the same caveat. A+ for me, a hater

buffalo sabres: what did they even do? C.

detroit red wings: kane is a bad move + jack campbell is fine at that contract + cam talbot is the epitome of "goalies? what's up with goalies?" + why do they have 4 goalies now. C-

florida panthers: lost montour, lost oel, lost lomberg. that reinhart contract is really good though. C+

montreal canadiens: if slaf continues on his upward trajectory that contract looks great; if he doesn't, they're already bad so it doesn't matter all that much. B

ottawa senators: what did they even do? get noah gregor? i hear he's very fast. C.

tampa bay lightning: where do i even start with this one

toronto maple leafs: the problem w/ all of the leafs' acquisitions is that they are Fine, some of them even Good, but they're just overpaid enough for me to not only get annoyed about it but also see 30 ft of insufferably rancid discourse every time i open twitter. B+

carolina hurricanes: appear to have lost half the guys i remember being on their roster, but the one dude they did end up signing was one of the small handful of good deals i saw handed out today. C

columbus blue jackets: this team's quality does not matter. you know what does matter? gaudreau/monahan reunion. A

new jersey devils: brett pesce's good. B+

new york islanders: anthony duclair's good but i mourn what lou lamoriello will make him do with his hair. C+

new york rangers: what did they even do. C.

philadelphia flyers: MATVEI MICHKOV IS COMING. TELL YOUR FRIENDS, TELL YOUR ENEMIES, TELL TRAVIS KONECNY, TELL EVERYONE!!! A

pittsburgh penguins: incredibly committed to the bit of only signing players over 30 and they don't have poj back yet. C

washington capitals: genuine home runs in here. chychrun... pld... matt roy... didn't even give out valuable picks to acquire these assets! A

chicago blackhawks: i think they're trying to crawl out of this rebuild with no other serious potential core members other than bedard, which don't get me wrong is a bad move, but i also think they're not doing a terrible job of crawling out of the rebuild. B

colorado avalanche: kept jo drouin. C+

dallas stars: lyubushkin is incredibly bad and they gave him 3.25 aav. and casey desmith is there. F

minnesota wild: extended one of the sexiest toothless men on earth jake middleton. A

nashville predators: A+

st louis blues: what did they even do. C

utah hockey club: that durzi price is a bit steep but hey, if you've never had the money before i guess you might as well spend it. also sergachev was a BALLSY move i will miss you my cunty mistress. also we (the nhl) have a fucking iginla again... for our health. we need an iginla. B-

winnipeg jets: what did they even do. C

anaheim ducks: what did they even do. C

calgary flames: sharangovich extension + anthony mantha. tidy bit of business. zayne parekh YOU are the 2025 calder trophy winner. C+

edmonton oilers: managed to get a couple good players on nice cheap contracts, improved their rush game even more somehow, and will have to re-print their goalie's jerseys because they now have two different guys named skinner. A

la kings: gave joel edmundson nearly 4 million dollars a year. D

seattle kraken: stole brandon montour from florida. B+

san jose sharks: unlike the hawks, seem to be actively prepared to break out of the rebuild and trying to do it. toffoli? great! wennberg? a little overpaid but they're trying to hit the cap floor at this point so it's quite good! rumours of pavs return to san jose but you didn't hear it from me. B+

vancouver canucks: jake debrusk is gonna be a good linemate for petey imho. the hronek and myers contracts were a little rich but honestly they seem to be a lot more coherent ideologically than they were just a couple years ago. B

vegas golden knights: basically lost every remaining original misfit/otherwise quality forward in an effort to keep marchessault, and then lost marchessault anyway to the Power Of Divorce. and now they have ilya samsonov as their starting goaltender. F

[browniefox]

The Very Best Fics - 2

I am making a second 'best fics according to me' because it is very long. You can access the previous post from here.

On this list is: Daredevil, Disco Elysium, Trigun, Psych, Mob Psycho 100, Undertale, Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy VII

Daredevil

My Guardian Avengers (Can I Get A Refund?) - prettybirdy979

Daredevil needs to protect a certain law firm in Hell's Kitchen. He's a little slack about protecting this Matt Murdock fellow though, and the Avengers are only too happy to step in to help. Matt is SO not okay with this. (Shut up Foggy, so what if it's his own fault!)

Prettybirdy979 has done 'Daredevil meets the Avengers' like ten times, and you know what? they hit it out of the park every time. Hell yeah! This one is just as fun, and it's always nice to read a new (uh, new-ish) fic from an author you love :D

Disco Elysium

Excerpts from the Case Notes of Kim Kitsuragi - Hosekisama

Excerpts reference Lieutenant Double-Yefreitor Du Bois' belief that he can (and does) "reload" his own life after failing, like some kind of video game character.

Disco Elysium plays with so many fun video game mechanics, like the 'jamrock shuffle', so honestly the idea that Harry would think in terms of 'reloading' is way fun! I love the ambiguity of whether or not there actually are saves or loads.

Trigun

Start here - AsterAspera ( @aster-aspera )

The first time he wakes, he is in a room. Heavy curtains hang over dusty windowsills and there are crumpled sheets on the bed and crumpled sheets on the floor. The world is quiet while his body screams. Every soft, fleshy, vulnerable part of him is on fire, writhing and roiling in unbearable agony. He wants to move, get away from the mattress that digs into his skin like fingers, like knives, like roots, but his body is frozen without his consent, time stretching endlessly around him as he fights an ocean of pain. And suddenly there are hands on him and worried grey eyes and he wants to scream but his throat is already scraped raw.

We love QPR Vash/Meryl/Wolfwood, and we love stories that drop you into something and you have no idea what's going on. Such a good and interesting fic that drops ideas of what has happened, but also you're not totally sure, and it really puts you into Vash's head for the fic.

I Just Want To Slow Dance With You by easternCriminal

"Wolfwood swears at the radio, and then finally the static parts like the sands after a storm and the warm, slow sounds of a guitar comes out from over the dunes and fills the small room." oOo A soft domestic moment, inspired by Start Here by AsterAspera

Inspired by the fic above, a scene between Meryl and Nicholas (and Vash) as they try and figure out what their dynamic is now. Wonderfully domestic.

Rinse and Repeat by easternCriminal (@the-east-art)

Somehow, Meryl can head the monotone flatline of his heart. And she wakes up again on the road. Meryl starts to realize what is going on.

Time loop, time loop, time loop! Time loops where you're trying so despeartelyl to save someone! Time loops where you start realizing some sacrifices have to be made! Time loops that make you hate and love someone like you never have before!

Press my Corpse against the Wall by Rayawastaken

Meryl kept thinking back to Tonis, small and still so young in his mothers arms. She kept thinking about the fact that if she held onto him a bit stronger, if she had more conviction, he might still have both of his arms. And about how if she had any less of it, Wolfwood might have not woken back up again in that bar. Surely, getting a bit scratched up was worth saving someone’s life. But that’s not how Wolfwood saw it. To him, she’d forever be just some defenseless little thing that stumbled around helplessly and had to be protected. And for all that he complained about Vash having a self-sacrificial streak, he'd rather bleed out on the floor than admit he had needed help. - Wolfwood almost dies, Meryl saves him and gets hurt in the process. They have a fight about it.

I love Mashwood, but the dynamic between Wolfwood and Meryl is often under represented. I especially love this fic's exploration of the fact that Meryl, of the trio, is the most human and the position that puts her in a lot of the time.

CHANGING NATURE (‘TIS THE SEASON) by ainosyn (@tristamp-gunpede)

“How could anyone kill you without killing a part of themselves?” and “I can’t help it, it’s my nature.”

An exploration of all the different ways the story of Trigun could have gone, or could have been told, and about what is inherent to someone's nature. I love this, such a great character study of Knives and Vash.

Never understood a single word he said by aboxthecolourofheartache (@aboxthecolourofheartache)

Meryl drums her fingers on the steering wheel, and Wolfwood gets the sinking feeling of spotting bullshit at a hundred yarz and being unable to do anything about it. “Is it really buried treasure? I don’t believe you,” Meryl sniffs. “You’re stalling or something.” Vash’s lips curl up at the corner and, yes, there’s that mischievous little dimple that heralds doom. “Only one way to find out. If it is buried treasure, next night at a motel is on me. What do you say?" “Hot showers and everything?” Meryl squints at Vash sidelong, she the very picture of suspicion and he of innocence. “Cross my heart,” Vash vows, making a solemn X over his chest. ~~~ A detour turned nightmare, water from the rock, Three Dog Night, and unconventional gestures of trust.

MUST READ MUST READ MUST READ!!!! Best Trigun Fic I think I've ever read, with perfect characterization of Meryl, Vash, and Wolfwood that all feel distinct and accurate, a lot of fun interactions, and just a hint of the good good 'Vash isn't human' stuff I live for.

Psych

All We Are by jumpfall

"I want eyes on Spencer ten minutes ago!" Shawn thinks that maybe another hostage situation is just what they need to bring the team together again.

Love when you find a fic that captures the vibes of the canon so well! The team-as-family in psych is so good and fun, it's what makes it all worthwhile, you know? The characters in Psych are really good, and I'll be honest I live for the times that Shawn manages to actually be selfless and care about others.

the robbed that smiles steals something from the thief by EclipseWing (@shadow-of-the-eclipse)

That one in which Shawn is a con-artist, a liar and a thief.

Hell yeah, EclipseWing, all my homies love EclipseWing! This one is so fun! It's nice to see a Shawn who doesn't get into crime solving but still needs to find something to preoccupy him becoming a theif instead, it's so in person I love it!

Mob Psycho 100

Come Morning Light by NotHereForIt

Reigen is standing in a world that exists, but doesn't, in front of a house that is Mob's, but not, with a man that's dead, but isn't. In which Reigen thinks he's dreaming, and he very much is not.

Dream walking time, hell yeah! In which Reigen helps Mob through is dreams. Poor Mob has PTSD, but at least he's not alone.

knife trick by ruthwrites (@ruemilley)

There wasn’t a rule, exactly, that said that Ritsu wasn’t allowed to spend time with his brother. It was just something that was understood, like how Ritsu understood he wasn't supposed to press his hands along the sharp edges of his mother’s kitchen knives. (or: an age swap where only Mob and Reigen's ages are changed. Shigeo asks his little brother if he wants to walk him home after school. Ritsu should say no. Ritsu does not say no.)

The ending of this one sticks with me, ugh it's so good. Swap au's are so interesting, and I love the way it's done here, especially with Mob and Reigen being swapped, but Ritsu still being the same age.

citrus by orphan_account

He can just barely see Reigen pacing, purposefully quiet. He’s not smiling or laughing like he usually does on the phone. He looks sad. No, he looks upset. Shigeo doesn’t get a chance to wonder why before Reigen is walking back out, eyes carefully trained on his phone before he flips it shut. “Mob, we have a client to go to. I would have taken you home, but your parents aren’t there.” “Why would I have to go home?” Reigen goes quiet for a moment. “We aren’t dealing with a spirit.”

Reigen getting to deal with big problems through his job, and baby Mob learning important life lessons, what more do you need?

I know who I am when I'm alone by RedWritingHood

I'm something else when I see you. The world revolves around the suffering of Kageyama Shigeo. It fails to anticipate the determination of the Greatest Psychic Detective of the 21st Century.

In which Reigen is in Mogamiland and is as stubborn as a mule - even if he doesn't know what he's fighting against or for. A great moment of Reigen being able to comfort Mob - more or less. There are struggles that come with trying to accomplish that.

Undertale

Second Contact by Ononymous

To the participants, monumental days in history rarely feel very monumental when they wake up that morning. A young man at his summer job in the middle of nowhere was about to learn this the hard way.

I love this fic, of Asogre and Frisk meeting the first human outside of the Underground, told from outsider pov. It's a fun continuation of the story, and of how a poor service employee has to be the one to deal with the mess first.

What Little Monsters Are Made Of by Mangaluva

Nobody understands why you keep Flowey. You're not always sure why you do. But you found a way to save everybody else.

A story about love, and a story about believing in someone or something, and about how it's never too late. Post-Game, exploration of the relationship that builds between Flowey, Frisk, and the rest of the monsters over the years.

Kingdom Hearts

Scar Tissue - mimiplaysgames

Terra doesn’t remember certain things. He’s not in control. Even after everything they have been through, he still has the Guardian to contend with.

A little confusing to read sometimes, but super interesting look into after effects of having one's heart stuck in various places, and how it impact Terra without him even knowing it. At the end of the day, Terra is a guardian.

Umbra, Penumbra - end_alls

Roleswap where Vanitas is the one raised with care and compassion in the Land of Departure, and Ventus… is not

A fun and interesting role reversal. In general, the concept of 'too much light' is not explored enough in Kingdom hearts, so a fic that goes into how Ventus is left so incomplete without Vanitas is great.

Affecting Eternity - b-na_hime

One new Keyblade Master. Two new Keyblade wielders. Three thousand ways it could go horribly wrong…

Riku trying so hard to train Lea and Kairi when he's never been formally trained either. Great relationship building between them and how each of them feels about being a keyblade wielder.

reflections, refracted. - vvingblade (@vvingblade)

It's been ten years since then. Time has passed, and wounds are slowly healing. Ven thought he'd moved on, that the memories no longer bother him. All it takes is a single muddled spell to prove him wrong.

Ven has some serious PTSD and it rears its ugly head. Also, Ven can kick ass when he believes his life depends on it. Great Ven characterization that fleshes out Ven a bit more than he usually is.

Final Fantasy VII

The Fifth Act by Sinnatious

Cloud has an accident with a Time materia, and finds himself in the middle of the Wastes at the start of the Wutai War. There are people to save… and for that, there are three people who need to die.

My favorite time-travel fix-it for FFVII I've found so far. Good characterization, fun interactions, and I love how much it grapples with the question of 'should Sephiroth die, when he hasn't done anything'.

A Feather's Edge by Boomchick

Rescue arrives for Sephiroth while he is still a child. It arrives in the form of a blank-faced blonde-haired hero who cannot look at him; Who tends his wounds, and speaks kindly, but whose eyes are filled with hate and fear. If only Sephiroth knew the rules of this world outside the labs, maybe he could figure out how to stop making Cloud so angry...

An interesting look into, even if Sephiroth was saved, how messed up he is since childhood and how that impacts how he views people, sitautions, and relationships with other people. Kinda wish it was a little longer, but also I think it ends where it needs to end, if that makes sense. Really love Cloud trying to grapple with being a good adult for a child while battling his PTSD over said child.

In the Woods, Somewhere - DoveFanworks

On an ordinary day, two against one would hardly feel fair. But today was not an ordinary day, and Gods damn if this man wasn’t proving to be worth every bit of their combined effort. It was ludicrous. Unheard of. Before today, he would have thought it impossible. But somehow, someway, this man, this stranger who had come from out of nowhere, was fighting off two of the most powerful fighters in the world. At the same time.

Unresolved Time Travel au where Cloud takes on the three Firsts and kicks ass! I love how thought out the fight scenes are, taking into account the abilites of everyone involved and what they're capable of. Wonderfully orchestrated, wonderful to read.

Rebound - emrald_writes

Genesis knows the moment that they step into the little town that whatever it is plaguing them it isn’t a curse.

I Love fics that have surprisingly in depth worlds that makes you feel like you're looking into a world so much bigger and more thought out than you expected. Such an interesting magic system and a fun mystery to boot. I will say, the ending feels a little strange, but the rest most than makes up for it.

As They Bask in the Material World - Traxits

Every year, Reeve tours the outer reactors. This year, Veld is unable to escort him, so Tseng gets the job. It's just his luck that the car breaks down, and perhaps the best idea was not to spend the night in Cosmo Canyon…

Hi welcome to the beginning of the 'brownie falls in love with reeve' section of this. Anyway, great and interesting relationship between Reeve and Tseng, and EXTREMELY cool take on how young Reeve would react to Cosmo Canyon.

Before She Hangs Her Head to Cry - Traxits

Reeve had been reasonably certain that no one was in his office. It seemed like a logical assumption to make, given that he was not there and that no one short of the President had a key. One day, he would learn to stop assuming anything when he counted the Turks among his friends.

Not enough people talk about Reeve and kidnapping Marlene! Love the backstory that is hinted at for Reno here, getting to see Reeve's thoughts and such, and how Marlene's upbringing shows up throughout her actions. The characterization is just, *mwah*, beautiful.

Little Birds by katineto

Marlene's Papa is gone, and she is scared—or, the kidnapping, from Marlene's perspective.

Reeve is terrible with children. I love seeing Marlene's POV in the whole mess, trying to make sense of what is going on and feeling so scared.

Through Another's Eyes by CorsairOriginal

Elmyra Gainsborough had only wanted to live a life in peace, but war keeps coming to her door. She had only wanted her arrangement with Marlene Wallace to be temporary, but now that she's a part of Elmyra's life she has to face the consequences of that decision. Director Reeve Tuesti didn't choose to become a spy, but orders from President Rufus Shinra are not to be refused. He didn't choose to admire a group of renegades, but now that they're a part of his life he can't walk away so easily. ~ "Through Another's Eyes" is an in-depth view of the major notes of Reeve's story in Final Fantasy VII, starting from Marlene's abduction by Shinra to the end of the original game--rewriting some concepts and adding elements from the Compilation of FF7, including Before Crisis and FFVII Remake.

THE PINNACLE OF REEVE FICS. So so so good! Great relationship of Reeve with everybody, and how he deals with the events of FFVII. The moment at the end when he finally meets everyone? FUCK YEAH, that's what it's all about baby! Fic that got me hooked on the inspire!Reeve characterization.

I'm Fine - WinterEvenings

“Cloud!” His eyes snap open, but it doesn’t do much good. All he can see is darkness anyway. They were trapped. It was his fault. It was all his fault.

Cloud is so fucked up as far as priorities and his own health is concerned. it's terrible and wonderful at the same time. Gotta love a good dose of whump.

[hellfiresmaster]

Hiii can I request some Eddie fluff? Maybe like, his first date with reader and how he was so nervous about it because he wanted it to be perfect but suddenly nothing goes as expected?

I love this AND YOU so much <3

Valentine's Day

Eddie Munson x GN!Reader

Summary: It was Valentine's Day, Eddie's most dreaded day of the year. Or at least it was before you came along. Somehow, he finally mustered up the courage to ask you out. What could go wrong?

Warnings: none just fluff :)

Word Count: 1.8K

The worst day of the year had finally arrived in Hawkins. Not that every other day was a ray of sunshine here for Eddie Munson, but today was particularly irritating. The one day a year when all the empty-headed jocks bought the affection of their stuck-up cheerleader girlfriends with all the flowers and candy they can get their hands on just for a, slither of a chance of getting inside their pants. It made Eddie practically barf in his mouth at the thought as he rushed through the halls. The locker near his caught his eye; it was decorated from top to bottom with red roses and ribbons and a card attached in the center, no doubt from a doting boyfriend. Eddie couldn't help but let his mind wonder how you would react to something like that. How your nose would scrunch in that way, it only did when you were really happy about something; his heart would squeeze at seeing you squeal and jump from the excitement of it.

Eddie always thought you deserved something like that. He longed for the day he could love you the way you deserved. But that wasn't possible, at least not for him. He'd been in love with you since you were 12, and if he hadn't worked up the nerve to say something by now, it probably wouldn't happen. Or at least that's what he told himself constantly. Eddie had run away from everything else in his life; why was this any different? The sound of your voice calling out to him from the distant hallways broke his train of thought before he could spiral any further.

"Eds!" You made your way through the crowd of students shuffling out of school toward your best friend. "Happy Valentine's Day." You stood on your tip toes to give him a quick peck on the cheek. Eddie scoffed and muttered a quick thank you, attempting to brush off the effect such a simple gesture from you had on him.

"Here's hoping I get a rose in class today." You smirked and glanced over at the decorated locker, secretly wishing it would be Eddie to give you that today. You've been in love with Eddie since you can remember; you smiled at the memory of Eddie convincing you to help him with a tricky math problem after school and grinning when he got it right. You had been inseparable ever since.

"Oh yeah, from who?"

"I dunno. Maybe Matt, the cute guy from science. He's always nice to me, always talking to me and holding my books and stuff." You were met with silence, Eddie blankly staring at his locker, his eyebrows knitted with frustration; you just couldn't put your finger on exactly what was bugging him, so you continued. "Hm. Well, he said he wanted to have lunch with me today, so who knows, maybe some roses await me after all."

Unbeknownst to you, Eddie almost seethed at every one of your words. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand up at the thought of someone else being affectionate and spending Valentine's Day with you. He couldn't let that happen. He decided this year would be different, his year. He wouldn't run away this time, not from you.

"D-Don't." Eddie practically blurted out before he could stop himself, unsure where the surge of confidence came from.

"What?"

"Don't have lunch with him. He's a Jason carbon copy dick, anyway. Go out with me? Today?" You were frozen in place. Were you dreaming? Did your lifelong best friend you've been secretly in love since you can remember with just ask you out? Eddie said your name and waved a hand in front of you before you cleared your throat and eliminated the look of apparent shock on your face making his demeanor subside significantly as he began to ramble. "You know if you don't want to, you can forget I asked. I don't know why I said that. I'm so sorr-." You cut him off by placing a hand on his arm, trying to compose yourself and flashing him a warm smile.

"Eddie Munson, don't you dare apologize for asking me out. I'd love to go out with you. Just surprised, is all." Eddie swore he could feel his heartbeat pounding through his chest, releasing a breath he'd been holding far longer than he cared to admit. Before he could say much else, the bell rang, and halls filled with students shuffling and brushing past him into various classrooms.

"Pick you up around 7?" You nodded before he rushed away with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Eddie had spent all afternoon putting everything together and calling in favors for your date. He'd picked out the best spot by Lover's Lake and arranged for Steve and Dustin to bring a large picnic basket Robin was nice enough to pack for the both of you. He even cleaned out his van the best he could and packed up the back with all the pillows and blankets necessary for a moonlit picnic. He knows it's not much, but he wants to make it special for you. Eddie had been waiting for this moment for what seemed like forever, the chance to finally be close to you in a whole new sense. Maybe he could call you his if he was lucky enough; he yearned for so many things with you. Days filled with lingering touches here and there, even thinking about taking a second to kiss you the way you deserve, had his head spinning. But he was getting ahead of himself; he had a date to get through first. Before the inevitable self-deprecating thoughts could stir any further, Eddie noticed the time, grabbed his keys, and shuffled out the door.

You jumped when you heard the rustle and bustle of Eddie's van pulling into your driveway and made your way outside. Eddie was already waiting to open the passenger door for you. He wore his signature black denim jeans with his signature vest and jacket and a black t-shirt leaving most, if not all, of his tattoos on his chest on display for you.

"You look beautiful, sweetheart." Your breath hitched at the compliment as you thanked him and slid into the front seat. Eddie began to drive, and it wasn't long before lightning caught his eye in the distance. The sky turned tar-black, and the large clouds were moving toward the van as if you were driving straight into it. Raindrops tapped on the windows, which became a pitter-patter, catching your attention and covering the streets with a curtain of rain and deafening thunder ringing around you. Eddie's fingers were practically white from the tight grip on the steering wheel, nerves spiking at the thought of everything he had planned so carefully falling apart before his eyes.

"Eds, I think we should pull over, wait a bit? At least till it passes. It's dangerous to be driving like this." Eddie knew you were right, he couldn't see as much as a couple feet in front of the van if he tried, and the roads were getting slipperier by the second. A knawing feeling in the pit of his stomach agitated Eddie as he fiddled with his rings when he finally gave in and pulled safely to the side of the beaten path. He was already silently kicking himself, thinking about the wrecked picture-perfect picnic scenery he had worked so hard to set up, all ruined and soggy under the unrelenting downpour.

The van was warm, lingering scent of weed and whatever cologne Eddie spritzed in a poor attempt to cover up the smell. You were quietly sitting beside Eddie for a long while, your nose practically pressed against the glass, eyeing the thunderstorm streaming down outside in comfortable silence.

"This isn't exactly what I had planned, you know." Eddie mumbled, making you glance over.

"Hm? Oh, I didn't think it was." You offered him a sympathetic smile. "It doesn't matter, though…as long as I'm with you."

"It does matter. God, why does everything have to go fucking wrong for me? Why couldn't I just have this one thing?" Eddie's jaw clenched, and his voice strained, drifting further from you and deeper into his own self-wallowing.

"Eddie, what are you talking about?" You slid closer to him as the storm grew angrier outside. He was wrapped up in his leather jacket almost protectively; you fought every instinct telling you to cling onto his shirt, bury your face in the warm curve of his neck and never let go. Instead, you opted for laying a hand gently on his. Eddie instinctively wrapped his fingers around you and gradually looked up. He softened from what awaited him when his gaze met yours, all the love and comfort he'd found solace in for as long as he could remember.

"The date." Eddie sighed." It was supposed to go perfectly so that way…." He paused momentarily, still stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. "So that way, you'd wanna be with me. You know? For real." He mumbled the last part, but you caught it.

"Eds." You slid as close as possible to him, thighs practically pressed against the other, and Eddie's heartbeat quickened. "I don't need all that stuff. As long as I'm with you, I'm happy." Your eyes cast downwards where your hands met before continuing. "I-I love you, Eds." The words slipped from your lips, the impact seemingly lost on him as he tensed under your touch. "I've loved you since the day we met. And since then, it's only grown." Your voice cracked as you continued without so much as a glance toward him. Afraid of stopping yourself after holding back for so long. "You're it for me. I can't form a single thought without it constantly being drawn back to you." His eyes met yours, tears welling at the seams. Eddie cupped your face with trembling fingers delicately as if not to frighten you away.

Before you knew it, he kissed you. Without even deciding to do it, there was nothing else he could've done at that moment. It was the only way he knew to convey everything he felt all at once; he needed to show you how much he's yearned for this. For you. You wondered if he could feel the tension dissipating from every nerve in your body with every swipe of his lips and feel of him on you. You pulled away slightly, softly allowing Eddie to press his forehead against yours. Both of you already feeling the pull to consume each other once more and too distracted to notice how the storm had disappeared around you. The street and surrounding fields were glazed with dew after the storm, and the moon illuminated a newly clear night sky. And for the first time in a long time, Eddie was convinced maybe Valentine's Day wasn't so bad as long as he had you.

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 107

Thorum? Oh, this'll be interesting ... and HELLO to Marisha's body horror fan ... oh dear ... what's THIS madness? Wow ... this just got weird ... oh, thanks, Robbie ... that's helpful ... meanwhile Matt discovers a freaky new kink ... O.O

Yeah ... advertising by way of David Lynch ... that's about right. Thankfully she's BACK ... oh, TEN YEARS?!!! Awesome ...

Hmmmm ... Sam was kind of adorable there ... XD

The return of Momlan! Yay!

So ... how much shit is still going to go off in here?

Roll for Initiative! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

D&D maths and lots of rollies ... wow ... and somehow for the first time Orym is stone dead LAST in the order ... even more wow ...

Laudna casts Mirror Image on herself, then FORM OF DREAD!!! YEAH!!! Oh yeah, that's RIGHT, no more Delilah! So she gets to be completely new and fresh and OH MY GOD CRAZY VICTORIAN BANSHEE!!! I love that ...

Chetney charges in and pulls out Ludinus' notes from the Bag, passes them to Fearne, then ... what the hell is he DOING? Brand of Castigation? That's a weird move ... and he deald her 13 points of damage? Seriously, WHAT?!!! I thought you were FRIENDS!!! If this is some kind of plan it's a WEIRD one ...

Braius dashes in to climb in through the window, then Inspires Fearne with his newly painted portrait of her which looks suspiciously like a piece of specially-commissioned promotional artwork ... cute ...

Ludinus' turn ... balls ... Matt asks what Fearne's hitpoints are? Oh THAT can't be good ... she's STUNNED?!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL -- NO!!! Laudna Counterspells and it SUCCEEDS!!! NIce save Marisha Ray you absolute GODDESS!!! WHOOP WHOOP!!! But CRAP ... now he knows she's there, though ... but she's just SPOOKY right now, so ... yeah ...

Ashton dives into the muck and essentially starts SWIMMING AROUND, going for the column ... and prepares to take a swing at it with his hammer? Interesting ...

Fearne heads into the chamber and screams: "DADDY?!!! WE NEED TO TALK!!!" ... okay? Deception check? Hmmm ... oh yeah, Matt is NEVER gonna live "spread your legs" down ... XD ... 24? Oh, NICE ROLL, Ashley! So it actually WORKS!!! Unbelivable ...

Dorian rushes in too and sees the immediate threat to Fearne ... and casts Force Cage around her! Nice ... nick of time, Robbie! And some Bardic Inspiration while he's at it! Nice!

Gloamglut's turn! Crap! It breathes dark fire OVER Fearne's head and it INSTEAD goes at Laudna and Imogen! Crap squared! O.O They dodge but still get singed ... ouch!

Zathuda jumps down and MATERIALISES right behind both our girls! Crap! He attacks with his fancy sword! Laudna Shields, plus she still has her Mirror Image ... but the second catches her ... OUCH!!!

The Emissary drags themselves out of the mire and rushes to Ludinus ... looking for protection like a little bitch, it seems ...

Legendary action for the dragon! Balls! It scratches at Imogen and catches her, but it's just a glancing blow, at least.

Imogen uses Misty Step to bamf ONTO GLOAMGLUT'S BACK?!!! Are you effing KIDDING ME?!!! O.O She attempts to TAKE CONTROL with the reins? Wow ... that is BALLSY ... and she's a horse girl so she has ADVANTAGE at this! Wow ... 20? Holy shit ... she just SAVED HER GIRLFRIEND'S LIFE!!!

Orym really doesn't have a great idea of WHAT THE FUCK is actually going on right now ... so he rushes the best he can to get inside ... he JUST makes it to Fearne ...

Ira slithers in through a window and goes for the Sorrowlord ... okay, then ... and SCARES THE FUCK out of him while he's distracted with Laudna! XD I love that ...

Laudna casts Void Puppet to send a freaky phantom version of her RIGHT THROUGH the Sorrowlord, then casts Blight on him! Sweet! Matt takes a dump on his save so she FUCKS HIM UP ... wow, she has A LOT of dice to roll ... I can't wait for this result ... 40 points of damage! Holy fuck! Oh yeah, that clearly HURTS HIM ...

Chetney risks a slip past the guard and is missed while he goes, thankfully Matt rolls REALLY SHIT there, so he's through and charges for Ludinus, attacking him with his wolfy claws ... A HIT!!! And another hit with e Dirty 20! Nice! 20 and then 18 points of slashing damage for those! Nice ... it hurts him, but not bad yet ...

Braius Misty Steps his way to Ludinus ... now FLANKING hi along with Chet! Sweet ... he attacks with his crazy mace! With a 3rd Level Divine Smite! 40 points of damage! Yeah ... another attack, but that one goes painfully wide ... NUTS!!!

Ira uses a Legendary Action to attack Zathuda! Sweet ...

Ludinus tries to whip the Emissary away with magic but Laudna Counterspells ...only for him to Counterspell right back? Hmmm ... It's a Roll-Off!! O.O Nuts, Ludinus JUST wins that ... great ... now what can they do? He preps but just HOLDS IT in anticipation ... okay, then ...

Ashton pops up out of the mud and CHARGES HIM!!! And he Rages while he's at it ... okay, then ... now he comes in swinging! First is a NAT 20!!! Yes ... with a Chaos Burst! And a charge from the Ring! Right ... how much is this gonna hurt him? A lot of dice math, then ... always promising ... O.O ... 56 + 14 ... which means it BREAKS HIS CONCENTRATION and the spell he was brewing is GONE!!! Yes! Taliesin: "For my NEXT attack ..." XD ... 28 DEFINITELY hits ... 24 points of damage ... HDYWTDT!!! SWEET!!!

Crap ... Ludinus, you sneaky bastard ... the hit triggers an explosion from the clone? Ouch ... but it does envelop the Emissary while it's happening, at least ... but a bunch of them have to make Dex saves ... crap ... O.O ... Braius takes a FULL FUCKING HIT ... ouch ... and now Matt has Ashley rolls a D20 ... oh dear ... at least the ceiling doesn't cave, but it's definitely PRECARIOUS now ...

Fearne bamfs Mister out, tries to use Fiery Teleportation to port herself OUT of the cage ... hmmmm ... Charisma save? Okay ... she pulls it off! Nice ... she materialises by the Emissary and is immediately attacked by one of his guards! Crap ... she tries to convince the Emissary this is all fucked up with the news that Ludinus has been slaughtering fae for power for decades ... and Ashley rolls FUCKING AMAZING on her Persuasion so it DEFINITELY convinces! Sweet!

Dorian dashes up behind Fearne, but takes a blow from one of the guards as he passes ... ouch ... no attack, he's just there to back her up ...

Gloamglut pulls back at Imogen's urging, but it's charging up and there are PLENTY OF TARGETS under it ... crap ... Laura must now make a strength check to contest what it does next ... 13 against a dragon? Oof ... yeah, the dragon UNLEASHES a jet of dark fire on the chamber! CRAP!!! Fuck that's a lot of dice Matt's rolling right now ... O.O

Ira attacks again with another Legendary action ... Ashley rolls shit, and it fails SPECTACULARLY ... great ...

Zathuda makes like he wants to parley ... Insight Check for Laudna! She passes the message on, but VERY CAUTIOUSLY ... meanwhile as the Sorrowlord backs off Ira just ATTACKS HIM ... okay ... Zathuda pulls back and tries to BOLT, giving Laudna an attack of opportunity ... she grabs onto his wrist and Marisha rolls a Nat1 ... oh boy ... yeah, that's a SPECTACULAR fail, he's already gone ...

The Emissary questions the Sorrowlord ... oh, this just got interesting ... is this a standoff or can they talk their way out of this after all?

Imogen tries to speak to Gloamglut with her powers ... oh wow ... this could go SPECTACULARLY wrong ... O.O ... oh, so this will be a contest of wills ... Wisdom roll for Laura, then ... hmmmm ... 15? Oh bugger ... oh, but Matt rolled SPECTACULARLY shite ... it actually WORKS!!! I can't believe it ... she holds Psychic Lance for just in case ...

Orym gracefully makes his way in to pull Bait & Switch with the Emissary ... interesting ... then tries to defuse the situation while simultaneously Hexing Zathuda ... wow ...

Is Ira shit-stirring right now? Or is he just being cautiously smart?

Laudna skitters down the wall into the main chamber ...

Okay then ... looks like it really IS a parley ... Fearne gives the Emissary Ludinus' journal, while Chetney describes what happened in Molaesmyr ... meanwhile it looks like Zathuda's hanging Ludinus out to dray right now ... interesting ... insight check for Fearne ... OH SHIT!!! WHISPERS!!! Cue a WizzKids plug from Sam!

Zathuda tells the Emissary to go, intent on seeing his end through, but maybe now as a ruse instead ... can we actually BUY THIS right now? I don't trust it ...

What does this actually mean for the main plans? Have they just shot themselves in the foot somewhat?

Yeah, Imogen just gets BUCKED RIGHT OFF as Gloamglut lands ... but she starts flying instead so she can catch herself. Okay, then ... so Zathuda's making out that he's their inside man in the Vanguard now ... do we actually BELIEVE HIM right now? I mean this is bullshit, right? I don't trust him ...

Is this all going to go south because Fearne has no interest in going along with THEIR plans for her? Hey, Zathuda, stop talking FOR our girl, she can make up her OWN damn mind!

So ... a deal with the devil, or they're letting them set up against them KNOWING full well the plan moving forward? Or they just go all in right now and try and kill them all RIGHT HERE ... honestly NONE of these choices really sound too great ...

Now we're all positioning for JUST IN CASE this all goes off again after all ... oh boy this is tense no matter WHAT ...

Fearne gives Gloamglut scritches ... right as Imogen Psychic Lances Ludinus? HOLY SHIT ... O.O Meanwhile Orym dashes up Gloamglut's tail and uses Seedling to catch the Emissary with Grasping Vine ... Acrobatics check? Oh, that's child's play for our Wee Man ... with Silvery Barbs from Laudna too that succeeds ... he gets hurt by the drop but now they're got him in their grasp!

And now it's all GOING OFF just like I expected it to ... O.O

Rolling Initiative AGAIN!!! I don't think I can take this fucking TENSION ...

Orym drags the Emissary away, then hits him a few times to try and subdue him without killing him ... he's out cold with just a couple of hits. Okay then, now what?

Imogen Pyshic Lances Zathuda again, this time at 6th Level ... NINE D6 of damage? Holy shit ... 29 points of Psychic damage! Oh my fucking GODS ...

Gloamglut goes for the Emissary ... OF COURSE it does ... O.O ... meanwhile the building is under some SERIOUS strain now ... and the guards are FLEEING now ... as they should, really ... it slashes at Orym with claws and tail ... Orym manages to dodge, but the miss hits the pillar instead ... shit ... yeah, that's it, the pillar is DUST ...

The building is now COLLAPSING ... O.O

Fearne psychically tels everybody to RUN and then climbs up onto Gloamglut ... what the actual FUCK?!!! The dragon's having NONE OF IT so she has to fight for it ... oh boy ... 5 is a SHITE roll ... yeah, that's DEFINITELY not gonna work ...

Chetney BOLTS ...

Braius rushes to Fearne, then casts Thunderweight on her to launch her up onto the dragon's back? Holy fucking shit ... he gives her a little kiss on the booty for Inspiration ... she rolls a Dirty 20 and NOW SHE'S ON THE DRAGON!!!

Ashton dives into the mud and just SHOOTS OUT with impressive speed ...

Dorian rushes to the Emissary, throws them over his shoulder and just teleports them both outside ... NICE!!!

Ira goes into his Nightmare Form ... oh shit! He leaps onto Gloamglut's back, clambers to Zathuda and starts cutting down into him! Holy shit ...

Laudna asks Fearne if she wants the dragon to live, which she DOES, ofcourse she does ... Void Puppet again? Ooooooh ... Disintegrate? Fuck ... if this works it could just straight up MURDER Zathuda on the spot ... Matt PLEASE fail this save ... Silver Barbs! That could help ... oh my gods HOW MANY DICE is she gonna roll right now? Marisha (to Ashley): "Is it okay if I kill your dad?" 81 points of damage? Holy fucking shit ...

Zathuda is now MISSING A LEG and somehow he's STILL ALIVE ... so she just Eldritch Blasts him instead ... only one hits ... 12 points ... oof ... that was SO COOL but it was almost EVEN COOLER ...

Using Seedling Orym tries to yank himself up beside Zathuda ... but Gloamglut resists VIOLENTLY. People are thrown about by the force of iits wings, and Fearne's knocked off its back ... CRAP!!! And after all that Orym STILL doesn't gain purchase after all ... so he just makes another attempt to run up its body ... which ALSO fails, so he just gives up trying to go for Zathuda and instead just starts slashing at the dragon. Hack! Slash! He draws blood both times ...

Imogen uses Telekinesis to try and rip Zathuda away from the saddle ... Strength check! 14? Against 10 that's A WIN!!! He's torn free and dumped RIGHT IN FRONT of Braius ... that deals him 4 D6 of damage! 14 points and he's UNCONSCIOUS!!! Wow ...

All right, NOW what?

Imogen Misty Steps to Laudna ... Gloamglut BARELY manages to squeeze itself out through the same hole it got in through ... FALLING DEBRIS!!! Watch your heads! Time to fucking RUN!!!

Yeah, this is now becoming EXTREMELY complicated and extremely urgent ... people need to just do what they can AS FAST as they can ... meanwhile IMogen's dragging Zathuda out with her Telekinesis ... they have BAREL;Y SECONDS NOW!!! The roof is coming down, people!

Is Braius SERIOUSLY committing desecration on his way out right now? O.O

Singularity Assault? How badly is Ashton going to fuck this all up right now? This sounds like something that could go SPECTACULARLY bad ... wow ... he's REALLY going to punch Chetney right now ... I can't belive he actually DID that ...

I mean TECHNICALLY that does work but it is REALLY UGLY ... O.O

Wait ... Braius and Imogen AREN'T OUT YET when the building collapses? What does that mean?

Seriously, are they okay? And NOW he chooses to call it a break? RIGHT NOW?!!! Matthew fucking Mercer!

Zathuda's first death save? Oh, okay ... meanwhile Ashton's already starting to try and dig them out ... and OF COURSE Laudna is currently FREAKING THE FUCK OUT ...

Dorian's trying to convince the guards that they're not a threat to the Emissary and somehow it seems to work? Crazy ... that was like THE WORST fake-out ever ...

Telepathic Bond! Yeah, try that ...

Wait, what the FUCK is happening right now? The temple is currently REBUILDING ITSELF ... so it's, like ... completely rebuilt now? Crazy ... but at least THEY'RE both okay ...

Thank FUCK for that ...

Braius gives Zathuda a Medicine check ... which COULD actually KILL HIM if it fails ... wow ... this'll be interesting ... so he's stabilised, but thankfully STILL unconscious ... okay then. That's smart ...

They all rush right back inside the temple ...

Well that settles it, then ... that was DEFINITELY the Arch Heart fixing that ...

Matt is LEAVING ... what the fuck ... SOMEONE ELSE is coming instead ... OH HELLO!!! Abubakar Salim is in the house again ...

Oh shit, yeah, it is just GOING OFF right now ...

Ah, I think I get it ... so they're all tripping out in the midst of another spiritual vision like the one Orym had before ... okay then ...

Like I said, this is DEFINITELY the Arch Heart ... oh okay, so he's clearly focusing on Braius right now ... makes sense after THAT exit ...

Look here, Doomseed, there is NOT going to be any talking your way out of this ...

Oh, so that was a BLUFF? SILAHA you sneaky bastard ... XD

A feast? Interesting ... is that actually going to be at all REAL? Are they actually going to gain sustenance from that?

Oh shit ... he sees something specific in Fearne? Interesting ... and now he's noticed it in Ashton too ... yeah, there's definitely something MISCHIEVOUS in this particular god, and I love it ... XD

I'm not at all surprised by Ashton going off on him right now, he's definitely the most primed to react badly to THIS kind of behaviour ...

A vessel ... wait ... is he about to try and turn one of THEM into a Vessel? I'm not sure I like that idea ...

He likes Laudna, of course. I expected he would. I'm not surprised he finds her a little fascinating too.

That's how it is, really. The true heroes are never the ones you really EXPECT to be. They're misfits, troublesome and morally dubious, terribly complicated and in some ways rather problematic, and yet right now they're EXACTLY what this world needs ...

Sacrifices for the greater good ... oh yeah, that shit always sounds great in theory, doesn't it? But in practice it's always messy, and ugly, and often times it's not really worth it in the end ...

Oh, so this isn't really an OFFICIAL meeting, then? He's not doing this with their blessing? That's interesting too ...

What, sacrifice a god to Predathos? You really think THAT'S gonna work? Sounds a bit rudimentary to me ...

Oh hello, Asmodeus ... that's interesting ...

Insight check? SERIOUSLY?!!! Yeah, I don't think 19's gonna cut it, Riegel ...

Nifty little Dawnfather impression ... yeah, you got a good ear for that, Braius. XD

Bit of a dramatic way to make your point there, Orym ... O.O

He is very pretty, yes. I mean he's a literal Starman. That's, like, inherently cool ...

Dorian makes a very interesting point ... although I'm a little worried it might get him smote at the same time ...

Wow ... so are they genuinely gonna go along with this, then?

The guy LITERALLY just yanked a star out the sky. This can't be good ... O.O ... and the star is ALIVE ... great ...

HER?!!! Her who?

Imogen, what the fuck are you doing? Oh shit ...

A smell of winter? What ... okay, where's THIS going?

And now they're all awake again ... and out boy is LEAVING?!!! Shit ... and now Matt's back! Crazy ...

A ring? Is this some kind of new Vestige? THAT'S the end of the episode? Oh, A CARD?!!! Cooooooool ...

Oh wow ... yeah, that does all sound seriously boss ... that is a SERIOUSLY OP'd piece of magical kit, there ...

So that's it. Okay then ... is it Thursday yet?

[squadmuse]

DATES ALPHABET

THE MATT CASEY EDITION

A/N: @deanstead 's genius mind and fantastic Matt fics plus her anons have got me deep in the Matt rabbit hole, much love & kudos to them all… so here is my first ever Matt fic!

A - Amusement Park / Arcade

An arcade date definitely happens when you’re dating Matt. The two of you walk along Navy Pier one evening, it’s a lovely summer night and both so in love - you play shooter games, racing simulators, throwing games and more, with Matt winning you so many cuddly bears & animals.

B - Biking / Brunch

Brunch usually happens as a date for you and Matt to catch up after a long shift. You’ll meet each other there and get a booth, cuddling up and chatting away over some nice coffee or fruit juice, pancakes and fruit. The two of usually playfully steal bites of the others order.

C - Candlelit dinner / Cabin getaway

Matt will ask Kelly for use of his cabin once in a while, usually for the day during a holiday. The two of you unplug (not entirely due to careers) and enjoy being around nature.

D - Dinner Cruise / Drive-in Movie

The dinner cruise date is usually reserved for anniversaries and it’s something that you and Matt always look forward to and enjoy the nice meal on the water.

E - Eiffel Tower / Escape Room

Matt loves spoiling you and one time took you to Paris, France for a vacation holiday and one of your dates there was up the Eiffel Tower. He is a big romantic gesture guy and where else than the City of Love?

F - Football Game / Fireworks

The 4th of July celebrations are a date where you and Matt cuddle on a picnic blanket if he’s luckily not working, and watch the Chicago sky light up but if Matt is on shift then he’ll have you come to 51 and watch them there with you.

G - Gala / Glamping

A gala date happens more when Matt is an alderman but it happens once in a while for a charity or the firehouse. He looks extremely dashing in his dress uniform and you look lovely in your gown.

H - Hockey Match / Harvest Festival

Matt surprises you one autumnal Saturday with a date to a harvest festival. The two of you just enjoy the day, drinking cider, eating pumpkin pie and kissing in corn mazes together.

I - Interior Design Expo / Italian Restaurant

Somehow you and Matt ended up an interior design expo one weekend through his construction job and make it a date. Matt is in his element and thinks of ideas for his renovations etc. while you love the art and design side of things but the two love the merging of your interests.

J - Jacuzzi / Jogging

Matt Casey in jacuzzi is something we all need and it’s something you set up one date night staycation, bringing him to the warm jacuzzi to relax and enjoy which he does and does some more with you in your bikini.

K - Kayaking/Kickboxing

With you and Matt working shifts, one way you have dates is at the gym and you get him into trying out a kickboxing class with you and you both enjoy it.

L - Lakeside getaway / Live Music

A grateful survivor gifted Matt some tickets to a rock concert and of course he took you. Much like the Rush concert, the two of you got front row seats, met the band and got a backstage tour too.

M - Museum / Masquerade

You and Matt like to just spend quiet time with each other and Chicago is a wealth of museums that the two of you wander around hand in hand just enjoying the history around you both.

N - Nightclub / Nine Pin Bowling

Matt and you are very competitive and whenever there is a bowling tournament or game held in the firehouse then the two of you are revving each other up and riling up each other too.

O - Observatory / Orchestra Concert

The orchestra date happens when Matt is an alderman and the two of you are attending a benefit concert for the children’s hospital. It ends up being a soothing experience and the two of you enjoy the new date.

P - Picnic / Photoshoot

Matt and you will have picnic dates during the summer or spring, stretched out on the blanket enjoying each other’s company and laughing as you feed each other grapes or cuddling against a tree in the public park.

Q - Quiz Night / Quiet Time

One night Mollys holds a quiz night and of course you and Matt team up together to compete. He’s a smart guy - intellectually, emotionally & street, and so are you - so it’s no wonder that the two of you walk away with the top prize.

R -Resort Weekend / Road Trip

The road trip date happens when you and Matt go away for a long weekend or public holiday. You’ll pack the car up to go camping and roll the windows down, laughing and singing along to the radio.

S - Spa Day / Swimming

You’re big on keeping up your swimming abilities and the healing power of the water, so once or twice you have dragged Matt to your favourite pool or beach and just swim around. You do end up making out a few times but Matt tries to keep it PG-13 in public.

T - Tiki Bar / Tango Lessons

The tiki bar dates that you and Matt have, usually result in massive hangovers the next day but you both have a ton of fun and Matt is cute in his Hawaiian shirt and you’re cute with your luau on.

U - Upscale Dining / Unplugged Date

Matt enjoys just switching off and getting away from electronics. Sometimes the two of you will read together, just snuggle or sometimes cook

V - Valentines Day / Volunteer

Matt always makes sure he is the one organising your Valentines Day dates together and he always goes all out. Dinner cruises, fancy restaurants etc. these dates are very special to you and Matt.

W - Woodworking / Weekend

As Matt has his construction job, one way you end up sort of helping or doing something linked to his hobbies and skills is via woodworking, and he loves seeing how excited you get after creating something out of the wood.

X - eXcursions / eXpensive

Now an excursion date between Matt and you varies from date to date. It can be sailing and fishing, food tours, aquariums etc. they’re never the same and never boring.

Y - Yacht Cruise / Yoga

You love yoga and whenever you see that Matt is getting stressed out or worked up with his duties, you drag him to the yoga studio and get him into the different positions and he jokes that you want him more flexible for more mature reasons.

Z - Zoo / Zip Lining

You love animals and so does Matt, so the Lincoln Park Zoo is sometimes a date idea. Sometimes it’s a date shared between you both as you take the younger Herrmann kids out for the day or Boden’s son but either way, you and Matt just enjoy any time spent together.

[gwenandy]

MMM TRIO FACTS THAT NO ONE ASKED FOR!!!

DISCLAIMER: these are MY headcanons and let alone MY AU of the death note verse. So there will be additional OC’s and ships some of you guys might kill me for

SHIPS MENTIONED: Mellodramattic, Misyu (OC X MISA) and uh yeah that’s about it….

TW: Slight suggestive mentions (No. not smut. HELL NO. just slight inappropriate mentions)

- Mello, Matt, and Miyu are all 19, Miyu is just a few months younger compared to the both of them

- Mello and Miyu have decent/great sense of fashion (I mean… obviously on mello), Miyu likes leopard prints and flashy hot pink outfits meanwhile matt just stands there looking like a hobo or a copy of Adam Sandler

- They live in a small apartment in the rusty parts of NYC, it was basically Matt’s apartment before the two just decided to invite themselves in (Mello specifically)

- Miyu normally lived in spacious and rich surroundings, so she sometimes complained about the state of the apartment — before eventually getting used to it and stopping

- Matt and Miyu absolutely love ‘Panic! At the Disco’ and other bands. Mello eventually got into it too

- Matt and Miyu love screaming ‘New Perspective’ by PATD and Mello just stopped trying to shut them up

- Mello and Miyu are basically clean freaks, they sometimes tidy and clean some part around the apartment, and matt just makes more careless messes. The two don’t bother to scold matt either way

- Matt plays electric guitar— and is in a band with a few close friends: Helix (Drummer), Kal (Lead singer & bassist). Their band is called ‘Till’ Dawn’

- Matt sometimes plays the guitar in front of Miyu and Mello. And Miyu notices Mello’s gaze against matt, and a smirk can’t help but crook up her face

- Miyu’s attraction towards Misa started way before Mello asked her to work for him. She was a massive fan of her and was so happy when she was able to collab with her

- Miyu and Misa are basically best friends, but they rarely talk— given the fact that they are working on opposite teams on the Kira case

- Miyu sometimes shows the two the outfits she’s going to wear for modeling. During the first time they saw her show them an outfit, they couldn’t help but stare for a few seconds before mumbling their honest opinon

- They eventually got used to it overtime and didn’t really care that Miyu wore what she wore. She’d just wear, show, and they would give their opinion before she goes out

- Miyu got them “Big ego, big d!!ck” and “d!!ck sucker” shirts— meanwhile she got a “pu$sy gobbler” shirt because she thought it was funny. She’d only notice Mello wearing his own when Matt was wearing his

- Miyu sits in the back seat, Mello and Matt switch between driving and the co pilot seat

- Once Miyu and Matt start laughing, they can never stop. Mello wonders all the time at what certain thing they are laughing at, they show it to him and sometimes he laughs as well. Guess these two know how to bring out that side of him easily.

- Miyu sometimes gets tired of the outfits they wear at times— rarely mello but especially Matt. She gives him fashionable clothing and forces him to wear it.

- And when that happens, Mello can’t help but stare

- Mello is the tallest in the trio, matt is slightly shorter and Miyu is just short

- Miyu goes out partying for hours at night, at times she brings mello and Matt with her.

- she stopped bringing them after one time they got super drunk and did crazy shit😕

- never again she says.

- Miyu basically taught them both how to make perfect ramen.

- Mello only tolerates Matt having his chocolate. Whenever Miyu tries, he glares at her before she slowly backs away. She only gets some whenever she does something valuable

- Mello somehow arranges collabs for Miyu and Misa so Miyu could get close and gain information from Misa during their photoshoot. Normally it was just about Light.

- Miyu has never thanked Mello so much for giving her the opportunity to even stand next to Misa