#somebody i hadn’t seen in a while asked me who my stylist was because my style changed so much and i was like ‘eddie munson’

[lokidokeyartichoki]

*still screaming into the void about Eddie Munson seven months later*

[snelbz]

Every Other Weekend {3}

Summary: Rowan was just looking for a night of fun after his divorce. Aelin was looking for one last reckless moment before selling her soul to her everyday grind of 9-5. Neither had any idea of just how much one night could change somebody’s life.

Warnings: Mature content throughout. Language, sex, drinking, etc. Explicitly NSFW will be labelled at the beginning of chapters containing NSFW content. 

A collab with @theladyofdeath

It was three o’clock and Aelin and Lysandra were flipping through the racks at Aelin’s favorite boutique. She had four hours until Rowan would be picking her up and still had to get ready.

And, according to Lysandra, she needed a new dress.

“I really don’t understand why I can’t wear something I already own,” Aelin protested as Lysandra pulled out a red polka dotted skater dress. “I have so many cute dresses that would be great for tonight.”

“Because, in my family, it’s tradition. If you go on a first date, you have to wear something to new to signify the beginning of a new chapter in your life,” she explained, putting the dress back and moving on. “And, because I’ll be marrying your cousin one day, that makes you family. So you’re following the tradition.”

Aelin rolled her eyes but continued looking through the racks.

“What kind of look should I go for?” She mused, inspecting a short, white, gauzy number.

“Something sexy,” Lysandra said, simply. “You already captured his heart, now it’s time to make his mind not function.” 

Aelin rolled her eyes but kept sifting through the racks. “You don’t think this is a mistake?”

It was a question that Aelin had asked herself a hundred times over the last week, but she kept having different reactions. Was she prepared for Rowan Whitethorn? For his life as a single dad? As an ex-husband? It was a lot to handle.

Yet, Aelin couldn’t deny that she was captivated by the man. 

“No,” Lysandra said, and it wasn’t the first time. “It’s good for you. You’ll never know unless you try, Ace. And this guy…you’re smitten by him, I can tell.”

Aelin nodded, knowing she was right. It was then that she pulled out a black, tight-fitted dress, with lace framing the neckline and hem of the skirt, and held it up. “What about this?”

Lysandra eyed it before saying, “Try it on.” She also pulled a series of other dresses and Aelin eventually settled on a hunter green, sparkly long-sleeved dress that reached her mid-thigh. 

It was form-fitting enough that the long sleeves didn’t seem prudish.

Lysandra found a set of heels that completed the outfit and they were off, heading to Aelin’s house to get her ready.

The perks of having a best friend who was hair stylist? Aelin’s hair looked great for every important event of her life.

Including a second date with her drunken hookup.

Aelin could handle her own makeup and with fifteen minutes to spare, she was standing in front of the mirror, appreciating her reflection.

She looked pretty damn good.

A little slutty, if she was being honest, but in a fun, teasing way. A way she hadn’t dressed since college.

Lysandra whistled. “If you don’t get laid tonight, I want a refund.”

Rolling her eyes, Aelin asked, “You don’t think it’s…too much?”

Without missing a beat, Lysandra replied, “Ace, he’s literally already seen you naked.”

Aelin laughed, shaking her head as her cheeks turned pink. She wasn’t known for blushing. Rowan Whitethorn already had her in the palm of his hand, it seemed. 

“Maybe so, but I prefer that he likes what he sees when my clothes are on, too.”

Lysandra grinned and her head fell to the side as she watched Aelin. “You seem happy. Excited.”

Aelin’s smile faltered. “I am. Nervous, though, which is weird. I’ve never been nervous to go on a date, not since high school.” 

“You’re smitten,” Lysandra crooned. “Well, I hope you have fun, and if he’s being a dick for some reason, you call me right away. Me and Aedion will come down and you both can watch while I kick his ass.”

“You act like I’m not capable of kicking ass myself,” Aelin said, turning to meet her friend’s amused expression.

“Oh, I know you can,” Lysandra said, with no hesitation. “But I like to get in on the action sometimes, too, and Aedion doesn’t give me reason to kick his ass much anymore.”

“He’d better not,” Aelin said, knowing full well that her cousin treated her best friend like the queen she was. 

Lysandra handed Aelin a matching clutch and then they were waiting. They didn’t have to wait long, though, because a knock came to her door soon enough. For a moment, Aelin didn’t move, but then Lysandra raised a brow. “Aren’t you going to answer it? I wanna see this guy.” 

“I don’t want to seem too eager,” Aelin said, and when Lysandra chuckled she made her way to the door and threw it open. 

The bouquet of pale pink and white flowers in Rowan’s hand dropped as suddenly as his smile did. Aelin was about to ask what was wrong when he breathed, “Holy hell.”

And she was blushing again. Brilliant.

“You look…” His eyes began to dip down below the hem of her dress, but he stopped himself and reconnected with her own. “Gorgeous.”

“Thanks.” Her voice was high, breathy, flirty.

What the hell was wrong with her? She was acting like a teenage girl who’s crush had just asked her to prom.

He cleared his throat and said, “These are for you. Wanted to make up for…last time.” Aelin took them, but he must have read the confused look on her face. “Because it wasn’t technically a date. Didn’t start as one, but ended like one.”

“How you’d like this one to end?” Aelin asked, letting him come inside as she carried the bouquet into the kitchen.

“No, I mean- Yes, that would be nice, but it’s not expected.” He was flustered. Aelin thought it was cute. “What I meant was-.”

He froze in the doorway to her kitchen. Lysandra sat at her kitchen table and waved. “Hi, Rowan.”

“Hi… I’m afraid I don’t know your name,” he said, looking between the two of them.

“Lysandra,” she said, eyeing him. “The best friend.”

“Ah,” Rowan said, rocking on his heels. “Nice to meet you.”

Lysandra swept up from the table and took the vase Aelin had just gotten out of the counter. “I’ve got this under control. You two go have fun.”

Aelin looked at Lysandra suspiciously. “I can-.”

Lysandra had already taken control of the flower situation and Rowan, amused, held out his hand. “Well? Ready?”

Aelin nodded and took his hand, warm in hers. “Let’s go.”

“You two have fun now,” Lysandra called, her voice taking on a suspicious southern accent it hadn’t had a moment before. “Be safe, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“That isn’t saying much,” Aelin called back, rolling her eyes. She grabbed her clutch off the side table. “Lock up when you leave, please.”

“Love you, bitch.” Rowan could hear the laughter in Lysandra’s voice as he closed the door behind them.

Aelin was shaking her head as they walked down the pathway towards his car. “Sorry about her,” Aelin sighed, looking up at him. “She can be a bit…overprotective.”

Rowan chuckled. “That’s a good thing. It means you’re well taken care of.” He opened the car door for her.

Aelin thanked him and slipped in, buckling her seatbelt. Rowan was getting in the car and a moment later, they were on their way.

“If you could do anything, what would be your perfect date?” He asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

Glancing over at him, she laughed softly. “I hope you at least planned something and aren’t basing tonight off my answer.”

“Oh, absolutely, we have reservations at Emrys’ in…” she watched as his eyes darted down to the clock, “thirty-one minutes.”

Aelin choked. “Emrys’?”

One of the oldest and nicest restaurants in Orynth, Aelin had only been to Emrys a handful of times when she was younger, always accompanied by either her parents or uncle.

Rowan hesitated. “Is that okay? We can go somewhere-.”

“No,” Aelin interrupted. “I mean, yes, that sounds amazing. I haven’t been there in a long time.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “As for my perfect date, it doesn’t really matter where I am, as long as I’m with someone I can be myself around.”

Wow, what a cheesy answer, Aelin, she thought. Idiot.

But Rowan said, “I like that.” As Aelin smiled, he followed his comment with, “Am I someone you think you can be yourself around?”

“I sure hope so,” she answered. “I was myself perfectly fine last time.” Rowan’s half-grin made her stomach fill with butterflies. “What about you? What’s your perfect date?”

After taking a moment to think about it, he said, “Honestly? Not to make myself sound like a total catch, but I haven’t been on a date since college. I’m just happy to be going out on a date with a beautiful woman. One that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about all week.”

“You’ve been on my mind, too,” Aelin admitted and added, “Granted, I’m looking at a tiny version of you for most of the day.”

Rowan chuckled. “True. I hear about Miss Aelin all night after I get home from work though. He was a particular fan of the All About Me board he got to make.”

“Somehow I knew your kid would’ve been a video game kid,” she said, shaking her head.

“Nothing wrong with video games,” he defended.

“The picture of the two of you on the board was pretty damn cute,” Aelin noted, after a moment. Rowan smiled. Oliver’s mom hadn’t been a fan, considering she wasn’t in the picture, but Aelin didn’t bother mentioning that part. “Where is he tonight? With his mom?”

“No,” Rowan said, simply. “He, uh, only goes there every other weekend and once during the week. Tonight he’s with my friend, Lorcan, and his fiancée. He’s an uncle of sorts. I was an only child, so he’s the closest thing Ollie will ever have to an uncle, anyway. They have a good bond, though. He was excited to go there and have a sleepover tonight. And get sugared up, no doubt.”

Aelin chuckled. “Every five year old’s dream.”

“True,” Rowan agreed. 

A few minutes later, they were pulling up to the valet stand at the front of the restaurant. An employee opened Aelin’s door and she got out, meeting Rowan on the sidewalk and looping her arm through his. They walked into the restaurant and Rowan told his name to the hostess. They were instantly seated.

The building was beautiful with its original brick walls and high ceilings. There were massive windows looking out over the city skyline and a full bar that ran along the far wall. Rowan and Aelin sat beneath the biggest crystal chandelier she had ever seen.

“Your waiter will be with you shortly,” the hostess said and dismissed herself as they sat on opposite sides of a white table-clothed, candlelit table.

Aelin opened the menu, but continued to stare out at the city skyline, all the way to the Staghorn Mountains beyond.

“You really do look beautiful tonight.”

She looked back over at him. He was already watching her. She could feel her cheeks heating, but she said, “Thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“This old thing?” Rowan asked, gesturing to his navy suit, which was very clearly not old at all, and cut perfectly to his toned body. “Pulled it out of the back of the closet.”

Truth be told, the man looked like sex on legs and she had wanted to tell Lysandra to get the hell out of her kitchen so he could fuck her on the counter.

But going on an actual date seemed like a good idea, one that Aelin was actually looking forward to.

Aelin cleared her throat, thankful that he was unable to read her mind. “So what’s good here?” She asked, flipping through the menu.

He leaned back in his seat, opening his own menu and hummed. Aelin felt his foot brush against hers. There was a wicked gleam in his eye as glanced up at her and back down at the menu. “The glazed chicken is good. As is the seared salmon and the ribeye. Depending on what you like.”

“Sounds like you come here a lot,” Aelin noted.

“Every now and then,” Rowan said. “Important clients that pay a lot. That’s in the afternoon, though. The ambiance is a lot better at night.”

“How so?” Aelin asked, curiously.

“Far more romantic,” Rowan said.

Aelin chuckled and nodded.

“Care for wine?” he asked. “Or another drink?”

“Wine is perfect,” Aelin said.

“White or red?” he asked.

Aelin thought for a moment. “White.”

He nodded, and when the waiter returned a moment later, he ordered a bottle. After ordering their salads and main courses, it was only each other that they had to keep themselves occupied. 

“So, tell me something about yourself,” Rowan began. “I know you’re a teacher, and you have a crazy best friend that spends too much time at your house.” Aelin laughed and he went on, “What else?”

Aelin let out a breath. “I like music. I love to play the piano. I was trained in classical piano growing up, but now I just play for fun. It’s an outlet, for sure.”

Rowan had arched a brow. “Really? I’d love to hear you play.”

Aelin grinned. “I don’t play for many people, not anymore. You’ll have to prove yourself worthy first.”

“Prove myself worthy?” he repeated, and Aelin couldn’t help but laugh. “Alright, fair enough. I’ll be sure to work on that.”

“Good,” Aelin said, unable to break her eyes away from his. “What about you? What do you like to do in your free time?”

He released a breath that was close to a laugh. “I’m a single dad with a five-year-old. I don’t have a lot in the way of free time. But I like to read. And I like music, too, but I don’t play any instruments. Lorcan and I used to go to little local shows by the river during the summer. I like to hike and camp, though I don’t remember the last time I did either.”

“Sounds like we have a todo list then,” she said, smiling as the server brought their wine. Waiting until their wine was poured and they were alone again, Aelin took a drink and asked, “How did you end up with someone like Ollie’s mom?”

Rowan cringed slightly. “You don’t dance around the conversation, do you?”

She smiled and he was glad to see it was still genuine. “I find it easier to get right to the point.”

“Right,” he agreed and sighed. “The short and sweet story is she was a college hook up that resulted in the best thing that ever happened to me. But it also resulted in a loveless marriage that wasted three years of my life that I’ll never get back.”

Aelin nodded and waited for him to go on, but when he didn’t she said, “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “It’s alright. What happened has happened and I’ve learned to deal with what’s come after it.”

“You two don’t get along?” she asked.

Rowan didn’t need to ask who she was talking about. “No, not so much. She’s kind of a hot mess, if I’m being honest. It’s why I have custody and she only sees him a handful of days a month.” 

“Well, after getting to know Ollie this week, I can tell that he’s very well taken care of,” Aelin said, and watched as Rowan’s eyes lit up. “You’re a good dad, it seems.”

“Thanks,” he said, smiling softly. “I try.”

Their salads came and soon after that, and their main courses weren’t far behind. 

The conversation flowed as easily as the wine did and Aelin found herself wanting to learn as much about Rowan as she could. She offered up just as much of herself, and before they knew it, the server was back with the bill and Rowan was taking Aelin’s hand and leading her through the restaurant.

Aelin was looking out at the Orynth skyline while they were waiting for the valet to return with Rowan’s car, when she felt his gaze on her. She turned towards him, but hardly had the chance to ask, “What are you—?” before his lips were on hers.

His thumb brushed over her cheek as he deepened the kiss and then he pulled away just as quickly as it had begun. “Sorry,” he whispered, breathing heavily. “I’ve been thinking about doing that all night.”

He left Aelin feeling breathless. She wanted to grab him by his collar and bring his mouth right back to hers, but she didn’t. His car was pulled up to the curb and, once again, he held open her door for him and she slid inside.

Once he was behind the wheel, they were off. He reached across the middle console and took her hand, their fingers fitting perfectly together. 

“I’ve had a good time tonight,” he said, the radio playing quietly in the background. 

“Me too,” Aelin agreed. “I’m not ready for it to end quite yet.”

Rowan raised a brow. “What is it you had in mind?”

“We can go back to my place, have a drink,” she suggested, quietly, her voice low. “Or yours.”

“Mine is…” he hesitated and laughed, but went on, “a bit of a mess. Ollie had to pack his favorites to take with him tonight and tore the entire house apart looking for his Yoshi stuffed animal.”

“Oh no,” she laughed, covering her mouth.

“Don’t worry, he was found in the backseat,” Rowan sighed, rolling his eyes. “Right where he left him when he left for school today.”

Aelin chuckled quietly. “Well, we can always go to my place again. You know it’s private.”

“You sure?” He asked, smirking over at her. “Lysandra won’t be around?”

“She went home, though I’m sure she’ll be texting to ask how my night went first thing in the morning,” Aelin replied, Rowan’s finger tightening in hers.

“And what are you going to say?” He asked, brushing their joined fingers along her bare thigh.

“I guess it depends,” she cooed.

He dared a glance over at her again. “On what?”

“Whether or not you stay the night.”

Rowan shifted in the driver’s seat as the corners of his lips twisted. “Well, I guess it depends,” he said, repeating her previous statement.

Aelin glanced sideways at him. “On what?”

“Whether or not you ask me to,” he said, and pulled into her driveway. 

As he put his car in the park, they looked at one another. Aelin’s head fell to the side. “Are you always such a gentleman?”

Rowan’s jaw twitched and he said, in a low voice, “If you’ll remember our time together last week, you’d know that I’m not always a gentleman.”

Aelin’s cheeks heated as she sucked in her bottom lip.

Rowan opened the door for her and locked his car behind him as they made their way up the front porch steps. 

Their mouths were on each other’s before they crossed the threshold. 

There no illusions about their night would be ending. It had been clear from the beginning, and throughout the night, Aelin’s need for Rowan only built. She was near frantic as she worked on the buttons of his jacket, then his white dress shirt. He’d foregone the tie tonight, and Aelin was absolutely fine with it as she pushed the fabric over his shoulders and backed him into her living room. His legs hit the arm of the couch and he pulled back to ask if they should go to her room, but Aelin’s lips found his jaw, then his neck and chest, and then she was on her knees in front of him and every thought in his head disappeared.

“Hmm?” She kissed his stomach and then his hips. “Were you going to say something?”

As her fingers curled around the waistband of his slacks and her lips pressed against the spot above the button holding them together, Rowan blinked down at her, trying to remember how to speak. “Bedroom,” he managed to get out. Why did it sound like he’d been gargling with gravel? “Shouldn’t we go to your bedroom?”

“I think right here is just fine, don’t you?” She asked, popping open the button and sliding down the zipper.

Rowan held his breath.

The last time he and Aelin had fucked, it had been quick, wild, like animals charging at one another for a quick release.

They’d gone three rounds, and they all happened in a whiskey-hazed blur.

This time, though, Aelin would take her time with him. She had a feeling that he wouldn’t mind. 

With a tug on his boxer briefs, she was seeing every glorious inch of him, already hard for her.

She glanced up at his face once more, wetting her lips as she wrapped a hand around his cock. She squeezed him gently and he hissed, shifting his hip forward.

“So impatient,” she cooed, bringing her lips to the tip and pressing a kiss there.

Rowan had to suppress a groan as her tongue began to swirl around the swollen head. She had no idea just how patient he was being. After two years with no sex, the week before had been amazing, but now he was like a drug addict who had freshly relapsed. He would do anything for that next hit and having Aelin on her knees before him was a special kind of pleasurable torture. Sure, he wanted her mouth on him, wanted to watch as her lips wrapped around his cock, but that was just a tease for what he really wanted.

And that was to be buried as deep inside of her as he could be while she came on his cock, screaming his name.

He knew that was likely in his future though, so he’d enjoy every torturously amazing moment of having Aelin’s warm, wet mouth wrapped around him. He tightened his fingers in Aelin’s hair as she started to bob her head, not even sure how his hand had ended up on the back of her head.

She moaned, the sound vibrating against his sensitive skin. He breathed her name and it only made her head bob faster.

“Let me see you,” he begged, quietly, and Aelin didn’t hesitate. She slid the sleeves of her dress down, the low back making it easy to do so. When the green, sparkly fabric laid around her waist, she looked up to see his reaction through her long, dark lashes. His eyes were dark as they swept across her breasts. Aelin had never thought she was so gifted in that area, thought her tits were decent at best, but the way Rowan was looking at them made her think otherwise.

With her spare hand, she reached up, giving one a squeeze and she could have sworn she heard Rowan growl.

It filled her with more satisfaction than it should have.

She quickened her pace, closing her eyes and enjoying the sound of him groaning, falling to pieces in her hands.

She relished in the sound of her name falling from his lips.

“I’m close,” he grunted, and Aelin knew it was his way of warning her. But she wouldn’t stop, not like he was asking her to. She wanted him to lose control, wanted his release, wanted to feel him cum into the back of her throat.

She felt the most beautiful then, knowing there was nothing he could’ve done to stop the pleasure coursing through his body.

Aelin sucked harder, moved faster, squeezed tighter, and at the first gentle skim of her teeth against his shaft, he was groaning, unable to stop the orgasm from slamming into him.

Aelin took him all in, all of his release, didn’t stop until his moaning had stopped and the hand tightened in her hair loosened. 

She swallowed and looked up at him.

His tattooed chest still heaved, and his eyes, full of lust, watched her. As she slowly stood, her hands grazed up his abdomen. 

“How was that?” she asked, quietly.

His response was a curse, nearly inaudible but filthy. 

“I didn’t realize you were so…” 

His words trailed off but Aelin supplied, “Naughty?”

Rowan laughed quietly as she reached full height. He took her dress, still draped around her waist, and pushed it down until it was on the floor. His arms snaked around her. “Naughty.”

“That sounds like a compliment,” Aelin crooned, arms going around his neck.

His forehead laid against hers as he said, “Oh, it is. It most definitely is.”

She was almost surprised when he caught her mouth with his, his kiss devouring her again. Suddenly, she found herself falling and her back was pressed against the couch cushions and his fingers were hooking into the waistband of her thong. Looking down at him, she found his eyes on her, dark and full of sensual lust.

“May I reciprocate?” He asked, kissing the inside of her thigh.

She nodded. “I was hoping you’d ask.”

Rowan slipped her thong down her legs and tossed it aside. As he spread her legs wide and settled between them, he studied her sex intensely before even making a move toward it. Aelin was about to ask him what was so interesting, but then he ran his finger between her folds. Aelin settled back onto the couch cushions and her eyes fluttered shut as his tongue followed the same path. At the taste of her, Rowan groaned. Grabbing her ass, he pulled her closer into him, her ass perched on the edge of the couch,  and took her clit between his lips, circling it with his tongue. 

“Ro,” she breathed, and he liked the nickname. 

He feasted on her, slowly, tauntingly, until her hips began to shift and her body began to writhe beneath him. 

He held her hips down to keep her in place and she moaned so loudly that Rowan felt his cock twitch. It only made him hungrier. 

Those sweet, little sounds coming out of Aelin’s mouth grew louder and her nails dug into his shoulders. She would surely be leaving marks that he would wear with honor. 

As she fell over the edge, her legs wrapped around his head and she groaned, drawing his name out low and slow. She gasped as her back arched and Rowan’s broad hand laid over her abdomen, drawing her orgasm out as long as he could.

When she came back down from her high, she was breathing heavily and riding on ecstasy. Rowan sat up to lay atop her, but she caught his shoulders and flipped them, her lips crashing into his. His back hit the cushions and he was seated on the couch, Aelin straddling him.

She reached between them, positioning him at her entrance and began to sink down.

They both moaned together.

A moment of clarity hit Rowan through his lust. “Condom?” He asked. He hoped he’d asked last time. He could remember pretty much everything about that night, except whether he’d worn a condom.

Way to go, dumbass, he told himself.

“I’m on the pill,” she breathed.

They only looked at each other for a moment before Rowan cursed and said, “Good.”

Aelin continued her way down his cock, only stopping when she was seated to the hilt. Rowan’s hands found her hips, and her body fit perfectly into his hands.

Her hips rocked back and forth and all that could be heard in the silence of Aelin’s living room were their heavy breaths and their quiet curses, the sound of skin on skin.

Rowan’s eyes nearly shut but he forced them to stay open, forced himself to keep watching the goddess riding him. His jaw clenched as he took in her beauty. Her palms were placed flat against his chest. Her head was tilted back, her long, golden hair hanging loosely down her back. 

Her lips were parted. At the start of the night, they had been painted pink, but they had been wiped clean. Now, they were swollen, which Rowan found a hell of a lot more attractive. 

Rowan’s fingers tightened around her hips and he thrust himself up into her.

Aelin gasped, and her eyes snapped to Rowan’s. He pulled her face down to meet his and he kissed her, meeting each roll of her hips with a thrust. She cried out and he swallowed each moan and groan until he could feel her quivering around him.

He squeezed her ass once before standing, lifting her and flipping her over until she was pinned beneath him on the couch.

The new angle has his cock reaching a new angle and Aelin was seeing stars.

Their lips parted and she buried her face in the crook of his neck. Rowan was gripping the cushions on both sides of her head, having a hard time keeping himself up off of her as his movements grew jagged. 

“Fuck,” he breathed before he groaned, unable to hold himself back much longer.

Aelin’s legs were shaking around his hips. She grabbed onto his wrists and squeezed as she came around him.

A feeling that had Rowan ready to combust. 

For the second time that night, Rowan fell over the edge. His thrusts became slower and slower as he rode out his orgasm, and by the time he was done his body was covered, damp with sweat. 

Aelin wrapped her arms around him as he fell down onto her.

They were silent until their breathing evened out, and even then, neither of them moved for a moment. 

Aelin lifted her head to look at Rowan, who looked like a man who had been destroyed and rebuilt, a man who could take on the world.

He captured her lips in his and made love to her long into the night.

[purpleyellow]

Unwanted opinion

NCT 24th member / Dream 8th member

Bee’s Masterlist

“Bee meets a very inconvenient person”

disclaimer: the inconvenient person is a sasaeng

a/n: Feel free to share your thoughts with me. Requests are open!💛

As far as she knew, a scalp massage could be the cure to all of Bee’s problems. Maybe she had actually fallen asleep there because suddenly the hairdresser’s assistant was shaking her shoulders and saying she could leave the washing room to wait for them in one of the separate rooms.

It felt honestly good knowing she would only be getting a trim and not a full color change this time, though the girl didn’t know how long that would be her destiny. From what she had been told, once 2020 promotions were done, she’d definitely part ways with darker colors, so getting a quick treatment any opportunity she could was always a go to.

Sitting on the high chair with her hair still dripping from the wash, she adjusted the towel on her shoulders and looked down to see the notifications on her phone. The clicking of the door brought her back to reality and Bee looked through the mirror to find a girl maybe a few years older than her peeking inside.

“Hello” She bowed sitting down, not wanting to be rude in case she was a new worker and therefore she couldn’t recognize her.

“Oh well, I was expecting someone more exciting but I mean…” Chuckling ironically, the woman closed the door walking behind the chair and maintaining eye contact through the refection “I guess I have some stuff to tell you too”

“Um, sorry. I’m here for the haircut” Bee frowned not catching what she meant and suddenly freezing as the woman ran a hand through the NCT girl’s hair.

“I’m aware. My friend told me one of the members would be here, I just hoped it would be somebody else” She said nonchalantly, still combing the strands with her fingers but the motion didn’t feel as comforting as it did before. 

“Maybe I should go then” Bee hid her shakiness by clapping both hands together and lowered her gaze, now feeling the other staring at the back of her head as she tried to think of something to say. To be honest, she had never had an encounter this straight forward with a sasaeng before and just the ambiance felt suffocating enough to send her into a mild panic.

“It’s honestly such a pity” She kept going like she hadn’t heard the girl “You could have done so much better in a smaller company. I mean, what was SM doing debuting you in NCT of all groups”

Looking around the room. Bee felt a slight tingle up her neck as she saw the scissors on the nearby tray as well as some other materials with pointy edges, and for a minute she hated herself for realizing that. Everything was going to be fine, nothing would happen.

“Don’t worry shortcake, I’m not crazy” The woman laughed following her gaze and pushing the tray away with her feet. Her hands still on the girl’s hair “But as I was saying, who the hell thought it was a good idea to put a mediocre dancer in a group of already talented boys. Like, you’re aware you have nothing that sticks you out in a crowd, aren’t you?”

“I’ve seen some people complaining you don’t have enough lines but if we’re being clear that’s because you can’t do them. So they have to push that whole dance thing when in reality, there are twenty three other people who can do just as much and even more than you. It’s really pathetic if I were you I’d drop out for once. Try your luck as a dancer with some not so good idols and maybe you’d get the spotlight for once”

Tilting down to look at her phone screen, Bee got stopped by her hands holding her head in place. Cleaning her throat, she tried not to sound nervous “Thank you for the advice”

“Really think about it Yunhee” The woman lowered her head next to Bee’s and pointed at their reflection “Are you really good enough to be in that group. Maybe you’ve been bringing them down all this time”

“Sorry I’m late Yunhee-ssi, there was a problem- Who are you?” The hairstylist stopped at the door crossing her arms at the strange woman.

“Ah, don’t worry about it, I’m one of Yunhee´s friends” She smiled sweetly but Bee frowned denying it which led her to pull the girl’s hair back and the stylist to jump inside to drag her away from the idol.

“What are you doing? We were just talking” The woman yelled, trying to get her arms out of the hairdresser’s grip but before anything happened a manager walked in confused by the noise.

“What’s going on here?” He said with authority, though once he saw the face of the stranger things fell into place for him. Holding her by the arm so the stylist could call the security, he began dragging her out of the room as Bee sat there watching them with wide eyes.

One of her hands quickly feeling her pulse just to be sure she was even awake before falling to the bracelet to mess with the clasp. The starting of a headache being another reassurance she was in fact witnessing everything.

“Did she do anything to you?” Bee got snapped back into reality by the manager entering the room again, a clearly annoyed Jeno behind him reminding her that he, too, had come to get a mask treatment and get his blue retouched. Ironically enough, she felt relieved for not saying anything about his presence to the woman.

“Are you okay?” He kneeled in front of her chair but Bee hadn’t really digested what had gone down yet.

“I’m going to leave you two together and go check everything downstairs” The manager gave them a firm nod and Jeno turned to ask him. “Did you call the cops already?”

Freezing for a moment, he gave them an apologetic look “The protocol doesn’t allow me to tell you what’s going on until everything is settled. It’s said to help with idols’ anxiety” 

“It’s not really helpful not knowing what’s going on” Bee mumbled but the door had already closed leaving her with a concerned Jeno.

“What happened? Are you hurt?”

“No, we just talked. I mean.. she talked while I sat there listening” Her answer didn’t quite satisfy him, so Jeno stood up holding her hand and going further as to ask “What did she say?”

Taking a deep breath, Bee looked around slowly comprehending the girl’s words “She just… talked a bunch”

“Yunhee, I’m asking what did she say?” With a firmer voice, Jeno squeezed her hand which led her eyes to gloss over and the girl shook her head, lips trembling as she mumbled “I don’t want to repeat it”

“Don’t believe in anything you heard” Jeno whispered hugging her and patting her back, he had his doubts if she was crying because nothing wet had touched his shirt but the girl was shaking like he had never seen before “They think they know who we are but it’s all a lie”

[letterboxd]

Heart Beat.

Minari’s film composer Emile Mosseri (also responsible for the Kajillionaire and The Last Black Man in San Francisco scores) tells Ella Kemp about his A24 favorites, Nicholas Britell’s friendship and the boldest Paul McCartney needle drop in movie history.

What do you think a broken heart sounds like? How about a warm, beating one? It’s something that Emile Mosseri has been thinking about for a while now. The past two years have seen him complete a hat-trick of beguiling, transporting scores for Plan B movies: Joe Talbot and Jimmie Fails’ The Last Black Man in San Francisco, Miranda July’s Kajillionaire and now, the film voted the best of 2020 by our community, Lee Isaac Chung’s Minari.

What binds these scores together is a delicacy that knows when to break free and turn into something altogether spectacular. But on Minari in particular, Mosseri is in full bloom, working for the first time in a way he’d always dreamed about. While The Last Black Man in San Francisco saw him compose to a loose edit, and on Kajillionaire he worked to a locked cut, Chung gave him the freedom to write music directly to Minari’s script. “It was a dream to work this way on Minari,” Mosseri says. “It was so beautifully written and so visceral.”

‘Minari’ composer Emile Mosseri.

Minari is an intimate portrait of a Korean family making their way in rural America, and the composer was interested in “trying to figure out musically how you can feel connected to your deepest childhood memories”. These memories belong, in the film, to David—a tiny king played by eight-year-old Alan Kim—as he comes to terms with his new life on a small farm in Arkansas, as his family strives for their own version of the American Dream.

The Yi family is made up of David and his sister Anne (Noel Kate Cho), their parents Monica (Han Ye-ri) and Jacob (Steven Yeun) and their grandmother, Soon-ja (Youn Yuh-jung). It’s a personal story for Chung, one that Mosseri felt honored to be a part of. “It’s a very intimate story with these five characters, which takes place mostly in this small mobile home—but emotionally, it’s very epic.”

There was something about Chung that had caught Mosseri’s attention early on. “I had met him at the LA premiere of Last Black Man,” Mosseri says, “and I sent him the Kajillionaire score.” Mosseri was already familiar with the filmmaker’s work: “His first film, Munyurangabo, is incredible.” He calls Chung “very open, but also sly” in terms of hitting the right notes and “gently steering the ship”. The partnership between composer and director was about working on “a more emotional level,” Mosseri says. “There was never any talk about what we wanted stylistically.”

The ‘Minari’ ensemble cast.

The result is a film graced with music at once lush and raw, grandiose and vulnerable. Mosseri is keenly aware of these nuances, and always made sure to walk the tonal tightrope in the writing process. “There aren’t sad cues and hopeful cues,” he explains. “Every cue has both feelings. Each musical moment dips in and out of the hopefulness and joy of a family, and then the pain and frustration and dissonance that they hold.”

The way Mosseri’s music swells and flows often feels intangible, magical, even—which comes more from knowing what to avoid, rather than acting with too much forced intention. On his first film, Mosseri brought brass and strings to the streets of San Francisco, and with Miranda July, he worked old Hollywood glamor into the concrete blocks of Los Angeles. Here, we twirl through the tall grass as gentle acoustic guitars and elegant string sections sigh and sway, while the Yi family work through their growing pains.

“We didn’t want to hear Korean music when you see Korean characters, and we didn’t want twangy music when you see an American farm,” Mosseri explains. “We wanted to come at it from the side somehow, in some way that’s unexpected.” ‘Rain’, his collaboration with Minari star Han Ye-ri, which features on the official soundtrack, encapsulates this juxtaposition. It’s an epic lullaby of sorts; Han sings in Korean to a gentle guitar; a pleasing swell of synths climbs alongside her voice. The effect on the listener is as if liquid love is trickling from every vein. “I wanted this score to feel like it had a warm, beating heart.”

Two of your three feature films to date have been released by A24, and so we must ask: what are your favorite A24 film scores? Emile Mosseri: Three come to mind. First of all, Anna Meredith’s score for Eighth Grade. It’s so adventurous and unexpected and fresh and just brilliant. It’s so pure and out-there. It also does this impossible thing of being hip and exciting and deep, but also hilarious. The pool-party scene fucking kills me.

Then there’s Under the Skin by Mica Levi. I remember seeing that at the Nighthawk theater in Brooklyn and feeling like it was the best score I’d heard in as long as I could remember.

And then of course, Moonlight. That film got under my skin in a way I didn’t see coming. I saw it by myself in a theater, after hearing all the hype for months and months. When a movie has that much hype you can get a bit cynical and it can distract you, so I went in a bit guarded, but I left the film destroyed. For weeks and weeks it resonated with me in a way that was so profound, and a large part of that is due to Nick [Britell]’s music. And the film is just perfection.

Scarlett Johansson in ‘Under the Skin’ (2013), scored by Mica Levi.

You’ve been described as Nicholas Britell’s protégé more than once… It’s funny, I think that came from me being a fan of his and saying nice things about his music. I met him at Sundance two years ago when Last Black Man was premiering. I went with my wife and my brother and I was so excited, I’d been waiting for this moment for so long. We walked in and Nick and Barry [Jenkins] were walking in behind [us]. And there was also Boots Riley, Kamasi Washington… all these people I looked up to. I hadn’t considered that I would see this film in the room with them, and it was the first time I was hearing the final mix and just agonizing.

Nick was incredibly generous and said great things about the score and was super encouraging, and he became a friend and mentor. But I’ve never studied with him or worked with him. Although, if you’re a fan of somebody’s work, you’re a student of any of these composers that you admire. Anything you watch and listen to, you absorb.

What was the first film that made you want to be a composer? It was Edward Scissorhands. Danny Elfman’s score was the first one that made me realize that this was a job. I’m always attracted to big, romantic melodies, and over-the-top sweeping stuff—but done tastefully. In that score, he sets the high-water mark for me. It’s so unapologetically romantic.

And then there are other obvious ones like The Godfather. It’s maybe a dorky choice because it’s the most famous movie ever, but it really is the best. And that got me into Nino Rota, and from there I found [Federico] Fellini and all these movies through Nino, the composer. And then I got really into the score for La Dolce Vita and more movies that he’d written for, which are so beautiful.

The ‘Edward Scissorhands’ (1990) score was an early inspiration for Mosseri.

Which films, new to you, blew you away in 2020? Take Shelter by Jeff Nichols blew me away. It unfolded in a way that was intoxicating and really exciting, and it just really stuck with me.

What’s been your favorite needle drop on screen this year? Aside from Devonté Hynes’ score being stunning, there’s an amazing piece of music placed in an episode of Luca Guadagnino’s We Are Who We Are. They use a Paul McCartney song called ‘Let Em In’, and they dropped it in this incredibly tasteful but unexpected way, in a really dark, emotionally loaded scene. It worked in such a beautiful and graceful way. It’s because it’s the most cheery McCartney, it’s full-blown upbeat and poppy McCartney. And this is the darkest-of-the-dark human pain, and it lands in this way that is such a bold choice, such a powerful move.

What should people listen to after watching Minari? One record I’ve been listening to a lot recently is Jeff Tweedy’s Love is the King. It could be a good companion to Minari. I’m a huge fan of his and it’s a gorgeous record. It’s very stripped-down and emotionally raw, and it’s both hopeful and heartbreaking.

Which filmmakers would you love to work with next? I’m always afraid to answer this question because there are so many filmmakers I admire. There are filmmakers I grew up with loving their films—working with Miranda was that for me. Spike Jonze or Yorgos Lanthimos are directors in her world that I also love and would love to work with. But there’s so many others. Derek Cianfrance is amazing and he works with different composers. I love his choice of collaborators musically. I love that he used the late great Harold Budd to do his shows [including I Know This Much is True], and then Mike Patton, and Grizzly Bear… the music is always incredible in his projects, but he doesn’t have a go-to person. His films are so heartbreaking and powerful and really, really raw. He’s fearless.

I feel very lucky that I’ve worked on these three films which are all very much like somebody’s ripping their heart out and putting it on the screen. I feel like Derek Cianfrance does that in his films too, in this unapologetic, super-vulnerable way of just ripping his soul out and putting it out for everyone to see. It’s incredibly appealing to find those projects, because they’re really rare.

Related content

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The Perfect Score: a Letterboxd Showdown

Follow Ella on Letterboxd

‘Minari’ is available everywhere in the US that movies can be rented, and screening in select theaters in the US and other regions. Listen to the official soundtrack and more of Mosseri’s film compositions in the official Spotify playlist via Milan Records. ‘Kajillionaire’ is available on VOD now.

[sleephyjhs]

You Cut Your Hair Short (REACTION)

[ requested / masterlist ]

a/n :: my schedule has slowed down a bit due to mental health and mock exams, but i’m getting around to everybody’s requests!

KSJ

The oversized hoodie that hung loosely around your figure was chosen specifically for your quest that day. You’d yet to reveal your new appearance to your partner, Seokjin, and although you were sure he’d like it, there was a risk factor involved.

You weren’t reliant on his reaction. The opinions of others had never really played much heed in your life choices, but this time it mattered. The man you’d dedicated so much of your love to had to love your new haircut, otherwise you weren’t too sure where to turn.

The sitting room you expected him to be waiting in laid by the front door. Inside your ribcage, your unseated heart pounded with both adrenaline and fear. Pulling the drawstrings around your head tight, you opened the door in one swing to avoid further hassling.

Seokjin, placed in his usual seat at the end of the couch, turned his head to greet you, “You were gone a while, I was beginning to worry you’d gotten lost.” He smiled as you traipsed around the maze of a room to sit beside him, “Tell me you didn’t walk home with your hoodie that tight.”

“I didn’t,” you chuckled, crossing one leg over another, “I was gone for so long because I made a drastic change. And I really hope you’ll love it as much as I do.”

His eyes widened at your explanation. As you reassured yourself he would like it, you untied the drawstrings and pushed the good back to reveal your shorter hair. The freshly cut tips of your hair just grazed your shoulder, which was an extreme change from the hair that previously extended past your ribcage.

“Oh wow, Jagi.” Seokjin gawked at your dramatic reveal, before chuckling a few huffs, “I honestly prefer this! I didn’t know you became hotter woth short hair.” Jokingly, you hushed him before escaping upstairs to experiment with styling.

MYG

Over a year ago, you’d made a pact to yourself to grow our your beyond damaged, frazzled hair and redebut your short hair, but much healthier. What seemed a lifetime of hair treatments and avoiding the peroxide (which was harder for you than perhaps normal) later, and you had finally booked the long-awaited snip.

Your boyfriend, Yoongi, was eager to join you in the salon. He’d seen you struggle with the process of regrowing your hair from the get-go, and had, more than enough time, helped you search high and low for the right hair products for you to get the results you so desperately wanted. Now, he was just as excited as you for the fresh start with healthy hair.

“How short are you going again?” Yoongi asked, swinging your holding hands back and forth to keep your walking pace. As you’d already cut wispy bangs into your hair, length was something that took you a while to think about, but you couldn’t ruin all the surprises for him.

“You’ll find out soon enough!” You insisted before pushing the salon door open and entering.

Yoongi watched intensively as your hair was snipped shorter and shorter. It took most of an hour, and yet he remained focused on the length of your locks getting closer and closer to your head. You couldn’t help but find it endearing how invested in you he was.

“And there we go!” the stylist announced, using a smaller mirror to show you the back of your hair. The fine tips only just levelled with your jawline; it was perfect. You stood from the chair and turned to face Yoongi, who had perhaps the toothiest grin you’d ever seen spread from ear to ear.

“How does it lo-“

“Phenomenal, just phenomenal.” He interrupted, reaching into his pocket for his wallet and rushing to the counter before you got there.

“No, Yoongi! What are you doing?”

“Treating you. Let me do it, please?” Knowing you’d lose any argument you had with him, you reluctantly allowed him to pay for your new hair. You’d find a way to repay him somehow.

JHS

“I’ll have a surprise for you when you get home tomorrow,” you announced to your boyfriend, Hoseok, who was 9 hours away in Europe on album promotions, “It’s not much but I’m hoping you might like it.”

“Well I’m flattered you want to run me a rose petal bath with candles, I really am.” He giggled. Although you knew he was only joking, you reminded him it could easily be arranged, “No, I’m kidding. I’m excited for whatever it is, baby.”

Later that day, you fled your high-rise apartment building to visit the hair salon for the first time in the new year. As cheesy as it was, you were always a firm believer in ‘new year new me’, and making a choice as bold as cutting your hair was definitely new for you. Ever since you were little, your hair had always extended far down your spine, and although you weren’t ready just yet to cut it up to your ears, your shoulders was a large enough distance for you to feel a new kind of empowerment.

By the next morning, you’d already fallen so deeply in love with your new look, you couldn’t help but wonder why you hadn’t done it before. The choppier locks framed your face much better than your previous pin-straight hair. Even if Hobi didn’t like it, you felt a lot more confident in yourself, which meant it was definitely worth it.

“Hello? I’m home!” A sudden voice called out, leading you out from the kitchen and into the hallway to meet Hoseok. As his eyes came up to meet yours, a smile spread across his face.

“Is this your surprise?” He beamed as you stepped closer. When you nodded, he stepped forward to run his fingers through your cropped hair, still presenting a glowing smile, “It looks so good on you! My angel looks so beautiful.”

His constant nicknames for you never failed to make you blush, “Thank you. I’m so glad you liked it,” you stepped forward to take a hold of his hand, “but if you come now, I’ll run you that bath you were talking about.”

KNJ

Whenever they completed a concert, you liked to facetime your partner, Namjoon, to catch up on your days (considering he wasn’t flat out exhausted). When you were apart for so long, just watching him eat or ramble about his clumsy mishaps was enough for you. Every morning, you hoped that he would still be awake by the time you rang.

Especially that day. It wasn’t easy to surprise Namjoon when he was home; he was too intuitive to be oblivious to everything around him. However when he was halfway across the world, it was easier to pull of smaller gestures for him that often ended up meaning more.

Your sudden difference in hairstyle wasn’t so much a gesture, just a change you had been holding back to make. Short hair had always appealed to you for many reasons. Less hair product, quicker drying, arguable easier to style? You’d take that any day. On top of that, you’d picked a paler latte colour to drench your hair in, contrasting your previous chestnut hue.

As you awaited Namjoon to answer, you made the snap decision to cover the webcam with your thumb and tease the curiosity out of him. Sure enough, when he sat down to talk to you, he couldn’t help but knit his brows in confusion, “Why are you covering the camera? Oh no, what have you done? Is the house still standing?”

You chuckled at his brief panic, “No, silly. I have something to show you. A good thing!”

“Right..”

You edged your thumb away from the screen only to watch in pleasure as Namjoon’s face ignited with surprise, “I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t this. I love it so much!”

“Thank you, Joonie. I kept it just long enough for you to still play with though!” You blurted, resulting in a rosy blush from your distant partner.

PJM

As Jimin ran his fingers through your freshly dyed hair, your mind searched for why something didn’t feel right. You weren’t ever satisfied with your appearance, but this time you felt even less comfortable. You loved your platinum hair endlessly, but the same old long, wavy style was starting to get old.

“Jiminie, do you think I’d look good with short hair?” you questioned, looking up from your position on his chest. Jimin had always been able to give you fashion advice, but you’d never asked about your actual appearance before.

“I think you’d look incredible with any hair,” was the stock answer you were expecting. Although there was perhaps some truth in what he said, Jimin was also unlikely to say no, “why? Are you not feeling long hair anymore?”

“I’m not sure. For some reason I feel like I’d suit it better, you know?”

“Well I say go for it. It grows back anyway.”

Within the next 10 minutes you’d had you appointment booked for later that day. Now that you’d convinced yourself, it was better to get it done immediately so you couldn’t talk yourself out of it.

Jimin waited for you in the car just for you to be able to keep the surprise element to your new pending look. As you approached the car with your shoulder-length fresh cut, you watched through the rear mirror as his eyes met yours.

His beaming smile was already spread across his plush cheeks as you sat down next to him, your grin almost matching his, “I don’t know about you but this is maybe the best decision I’ve made in a long time.”

Jimin chuckled, reaching out to twirl a lock of gently curled hair, “It certainly is, beautiful.”

KTH

Since you were a young teenager, trimming your hair ends every few weeks had become routine. Only recently had you been tempted to turn a trim into a new look. Most of your fashion ventures came in the form of clothing, but for a change, you had decided to make a more permanent choice.

Part of the reason you decided to make an adventurous change was to surprise your boyfriend, Taehyung. You never thought you’d meet somebody who shared your exact fashion taste or who found a lot of expression in their hairstyle. In many ways, it helped you bond at the start of your relationship and so became something you both enjoyed more.

While he was away filming for a new comeback, you made it priority to visit the salon. Your once rib-length hair now just scraped your shoulders. The longer bangs that once framed your face now feathered at your brows. Not even an hour into your new appearance and you were already obsessed.

Later that evening when the door to your apartment slammed shut, the pending excitement that you’d built up finally climaxed. Looking over to your left, you were greeted by a shocked Taehyung, who tried to hold his boxy smile back, “Sorry, I must have the wrong house.”

You giggled at his small joke as he edged closer to the sofa, “What do you think? Does it look okay?”

“Incredibly, truly. I’m a little surprised you didn’t colour it too.” He knew you so well, but already you were a step ahead of him. Of course, he was your best fashion adviser.

“Actually, I was hoping you’d help me pick a colour to dye it?” Taehyung nodded eagerly as you opened the sample book lended to you by your stylist. The hardest task was picking a shade you hadn’t experimented with before.

JJK

As somebody who likes to learn all the skills he can, Jungkook quickly picked up your hairstyling tricks after you began to date. Purely out of his own curiosity, he asked you to teach him how to braid in multiple different ways and you had been more than happy to do so.

Since then, Jungkook had found a form of therapy in playing with your hair and braiding random ropes of your hair after a bad or stressful day. In many ways, it was just as calming and settling for you too. Knowing that Jungkook actively tried to avoid knotting your hair was more comforting than it seems.

One of the necessities for hair braiding is of course, long hair, which you had spotted through most of your teen years and into your early 20s. And although he claimed to prefer you for you rather than your physical feautures, you were aware that your hair was one of his favourite parts about you.

The day you decided to cut it was the day you realised all of those therapeutic hair styling sessions were a thing of the past. You hadn’t even briefed Jungkook on your plan, or yourself for that matter. It felt right in the moment, and as much as you loved your new look, it was a problem that was on your mind all day.

Since returning from the salon, you’d waited desperately for Jungkook to come home. Any second, he was due to walk through the door, and although he didn’t know it, he was about to put his skills under a quickfire test.

As soon as the front door had shut, you rushed into the hallway to eagerly greet your man, “Woah, your hair! Where’s it gone?”

“It’s on a salon floor somewhere. But quick, you need to see if you can still braid it.” Your rushed answer ignited his desperation to test his braiding skills on your new hair. Jungkook’s eyes widened as he waddled behind you into the sitting room, where a couple of hair bands had sat waiting for him.

Despite him tugging on your hair a few times more than usual, his focused silence transmitted good news to you, “I can still braid it!” He exclaimed, wrapping the hairband around the finished product. You stood up to look in the mirror at your boyfriend’s work, “I think my braids look cuter when your hair is shorter!”

^ im really sorry you had to wait this long. not only do reactions take me the longest but i also struggled to come up with different scenarios so i really hope this is all okay for you! thank you so much for your patience <3

[miss-pearlescent]

Universal Differences (2/7)

Trapped in a dilapidated spaceship, you kidnap an alien to help you gain your key to freedom: marriage to a safe and trustworthy diplomat.

As a rich and handsome son of billionaires, Kai is bored of his repetitive party life. It isn’t until he’s kidnapped by a little human with a mission that he realizes the fun he’s been missing.

Rated M for smut (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑) ♡

[ 1 | 2 | 3ᵐ | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ]

---

[2/7]

“Have you thought about sex when you marry this man?”

You shot a glare at Kai, who was still in his seat. It had been a full day and he hadn’t spoken about being untied. He hadn’t mentioned about eating, sleeping, or even the bathroom. You weren’t going to bring it up either. “Is sex always on your mind?”

Ignoring your glare, he kept watching as you tinkered with the thermostat that had been making loud clanging noises for a while. “It’s going to be an issue.”

“An issue?” You bit your bottom lip, trying to hide the grimace of sharing a bed with an old man—because diplomats were always old men.

“Have you ever had sex before?”

Your screwdriver dropped to the ground and you scrambled to pick it up before it rolled away. “O-of course. ”

Heavy silence filled the ship and you felt your cheeks warming up.

Clearing your throat, you brushed the too-long strands of hair out of your face. “I’ve had sex with Earthens before.”

“That’s just it.” Kai’s voice was dead serious. “Have you ever seen a naked man outside of Earth? We’re different.”

You rose an eyebrow and looked him up and down. He was still wearing the same dark grey suit as yesterday, though you had already changed into your faded red jumpsuit. He had a nose, eyes, ears. His lips were slightly fuller than you expected, a trait that many human girls longed for. He had silver hair, but any stylist could do that in a couple of sessions. Arms, check. Legs, check. “You don’t look different to me.”

His lips kicked up in a smirk. “Then you should come find out.”

Your cheeks got even warmer and the screwdriver slipped from your hand again, knocking into the thermostat with a loud bang.

“Thermal engine restarting in one hour.”

You froze halfway as the loud clanging stopped. So did the whirring. Soon, there was a dead silence.

“What was that?”

You looked over at Kai who was eyeing the thermostat suspiciously. Then you breathed out and saw your own breath frosting in the air.

This was not good.

You hopped over your seat, rushing over to the bedding area where you found two blankets, one thin and one a little thicker. You considered which one to use but soon decided to throw the thicker one over Kai’s shoulders.

“What are you doing, human?”

“I fucked up the thermostat. The ship is going to be freezing cold for the next hour until it re-calibrates.” You tucked the blanket around his chin, hoping his nose and ears wouldn’t freeze off. “Just don’t die, okay?” Your fingers were shaking but you weren’t sure if it was from the cold or from the fear.

If Kai died, you would live a life knowing you were a murderer. The authorities would never let you leave. You’d never be able to settle down anywhere, not on one of these strange planets and definitely not back on Earth.

It was getting colder by the second and you wrapped the thin sheet around your shoulders, padding over to the bathroom where it was the warmest. The last time this happened, you had survived there with a bunch of padding. This time...

“Where are you going?”

You stopped, realizing you couldn’t just leave Kai alone. “Right. I have to stay here,” you muttered to yourself. But it was going to be too cold. Already, your teeth were beginning to chatter between your words.

Looking around, you wondered if you should take your seat at the head of the ship. Unfortunately, even with the thermostat on, that spot was the coldest because of the huge window. Then there was your makeshift bed where you could roll into and hopefully not freeze to death if you accidentally fell asleep.

Kai tossed his blanket to the side with a flick on his shoulder. “Come here.”

You blinked, a little upset that he didn’t seem to care for your peace offering. “What?”

“I was born here, remember? You and I are different. My body is used to fluctuating temperatures on different planets.” He raised his chin and spread his legs. “Come here,” he repeated.

Every second that you stood there felt like an eon. Your toes got colder but your face was on fire. If somebody told you there was steam coming off the top of your head, you would believe them.

“Just to keep warm,” you told yourself as you picked up your frozen feet and stood in front of Kai.

His expression was serious but you could see the hint of playfulness in his eyes that he couldn’t hide. “Just to keep warm,” he replied with a soft nod.

Holding your breath, you sat down between his legs and picked up the blanket on the floor. When you asked him if he needed it, he said no, so you threw it on top of the thinner sheet around your shoulders. Still, you tucked it into the chair behind Kai’s neck. If he was offering body heat, you were going to use all of it.

You tucked your feet under you, turning to the side so that you could fit a bit more comfortably. Your heart hammered in your chest as you blew warm air on your hands, trying to make the silence tick away faster.

Just one hour. Just one stupid hour.

“Relax,” he murmured. “I can’t touch you.”

You looked up at him, suddenly feeling all sorts of guilt. He was right. His hands were still tied behind the chair and here you were, using him as a personal furnace. “I’m sorry. Let me—”

His knee came up, stopping you from going anywhere. “No, stay. I’m okay like this.”

Stiffly, you shifted back until you were curled up again. Your body shivered, enjoying the warmth that his chest gave off. It didn’t help that he also smelled nice. You may have been able to loathe this hour more if he smelled bad, but the darn Alien had to smell nice.

He chuckled as if he had heard your thoughts. “How you poor, little humans survived on Earth, I will never know.”

You bristled but saw the teasing in his eyes again. Sighing, you leaned back just a little bit. “Earth stays in homeostasis, and humans are usually more prepared if they live in a climate that could kill them. If I had known my thermostat would make a habit of going bust, I would have brought a few winter coats with me.”

“This happens often, then?” he asked, turning toward the blasted dial on the wall.

“No, only once before.” You remembered being really scared that day. It had been a good day too, until the temperature started dropping and you realized you could freeze to death. Nobody had answered your check-in call, and it wasn’t until two hours later that somebody picked up your distress signal. By then, everything was fine and they sounded annoyed as if you were a child crying wolf. “Must be nice to have a thermoregulator built into your DNA.”

He was quiet for a few seconds before turning back. “The government decided it was more energy efficient to have their people self-regulate rather than change every planet’s natural climate. My home in WestorX was built on a beach beside a dormant volcano, and I have another home on Q’artier in the mountains. All feels the same to me.”

“You really are rich,” you said as a matter of fact. “What do you do with all those homes?”

He shrugged and the blanket threatened to fall off. You caught it in time and leaned forward to tuck it in again. “Nothing. Why would I want to stay there?”

“Why not?” You imagined a whole beach to yourself, how nice it would be to have hot sand in between your toes after a year of sitting in a hunk of metal. Warm water, palm trees, tanning under the sun...

He shrugged again, though this time more carefully. “There is nothing to do there. Everybody gathers in the city centres where parties and celebrations happen every single day.”

“Doesn’t that get boring?”

Kai thought about it for a second but shook his head. “I can’t think of what else I would do.”

You blew out a little whistle, utterly impressed by this man’s wealth. “Where do you get all this money to blow, anyway? I can’t believe your parents would let you do that to their savings.”

“I own a farm on New Home as well.”

You gave him an incredulous look. “You’re a farmer?”

He scoffed. “Hardly. My androids do all the work. I collect the money and occasionally do repairs from time to time.” Then he threw an exaggerated wink. “Though I wouldn’t mind an extra farm hand.”

You laughed at his absurd offer, though your own plans weren’t much better in terms of normalcy. “I wouldn’t know the first thing about farming. I’m a researcher.”

“So why are you taking me to the most well-known party on New Home?”

Playing with a loose thread, you decided to tell him your plans. Maybe he would be able to help you a bit more. “I’m not going to this party to marry any regular man,” you said. “I need to marry somebody who has money and power. Somebody who will not mind a human as a wife. I’m hoping it will be a diplomat, because they seem to be kind and accepting, you know?”

You really hoped they were all kind and accepting.

“I’m sorry I dragged you into all this,” you said, looking around at your cluttered spaceship. You realized how small and cramped it was now that there were two passengers inside. “I just need you to help me get inside this party, and then I won’t bother you ever again.”

Kai was quiet for a while, letting your words hang in the air. It wasn’t until you shifted uncomfortably in your seat when he spoke again. “And I’m going to ask you one more time: have you thought about the sex yet?”

You furrowed your brows. He was bringing this conversation back to square one. “No, for your information, I have not. I am sure it will not be much different.”

“How are you so sure?” He was speaking right into your ear and you realized belatedly that you were leaning right up to him.

Suddenly, you wondered if maybe this little cocoon was getting too warm.

“As you probably know,” he began, his voice dropping to a low whisper, “my people don’t see humans as equals.”

You pouted. “You’ve made that very clear.”

He didn’t bother to correct your statement. “I cannot guarantee that the man you choose to marry will honour your human wishes when it comes to sex.”

“What do you mean?”

“Our rituals are...different.”

“You keep saying that word but it makes no sense to me.”

He raised a brow, challenging you. “The only way you will understand is by demonstration.”

You rolled your eyes. “How different can it be? Kissing, blowjob, penetration. It’s all the same.”

Kai threw his head back in a laugh, his chest shaking against you. Finally, when he caught his breath, he gave you a hard look. “Let’s start with kissing then, human.”

You shook your head.

“What?” he laughed again. “You said it couldn’t be much different.”

Your eyes darted to his easy smile. He didn’t seem bothered at all by the fact that he was daring a human to kiss him. His lips were full and looked soft, unlike the thin cracked lips of an old man you often had to imagine. Kissing Kai wouldn’t be torturous, per se.

Before you lost your courage, you placed your hands on his cheeks and leaned in, pressing a small kiss on his lower lip. “There,” you muttered and promptly wrapped the sheet around your shoulders even tighter before he could see that your shaking was from nerves and not from the cold.

The man had the audacity to snort. “What was that?”

“A kiss,” you bit out.

“That was a kiss? You humans really are innocent things, aren’t you?”

You crossed your arms, embarrassed that he was treating you like a kid. “How do you guys kiss, then?”

“Let me show you.” He raised one leg a little, tilting your body toward him. “Come here.”

Before you could stop yourself, you were already leaning into him again. You squeezed your eyes shut as your lips touched and your hands grabbed onto his jacket to keep from falling off his lap.

To your surprise, his tongue came out, invading the seal between your lips. He explored your mouth, licking and lapping, putting up a little fight with your own tongue that didn’t know what to do anymore. He sucked on your tongue, encouraging it to come out and play.

It was like a promise of things to come later.

He was devouring you with every taste and you shivered as the heat traveled lower and lower down your body. Each time his tongue tangled with yours, he was stoking the warm ache in your belly.

You squealed as you felt something prodding between your legs. Paired with the tongue action, it was too much, too fast. You pulled away, slapping a hand over Kai’s mouth.

“What the hell was that?”

He watched you with hooded eyes as he took a deep breath, panting against your hand. Then you felt the prodding again.

You gasped.

No, this time it wasn’t a prod. It was a deliberate stroke.

“What the...” You looked down but found no tent in his pants. Lifting your hand from Kai’s mouth, you crossed your arms and demanded answers.

He simply smirked. “That’s how we kiss around here, little human.”

---

I hope you guys liked that chapter! I don’t usually write much about kisses because there are a lot of words and descriptors I don’t like when talking about kisses LOL Like fight scenes, I tend to skim over them whenever I read hehehehhehehehe

Anyway, I hope you guys are doing well! Stay safe and take care of yourselves :3

[corvidry]

All About RP Icons For Beginners by Birdy

Hi OP, I’m not sure how experienced you are with all the nonsense surrounding the making and using of RP icons, so I’m gonna come at it as though you don’t have any experience with it at all and I’m sorry if that’s too simplified for you, but also if I’m gonna write many paragraphs about one topic I may as well make it accessible for as many people as possible ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This post goes into what tools are out there for the popular methods of finding/making RP icons in the first half and my personal methodology for choosing and using them in my RP for the second half. This is a very surface level answer to the question and is not meant to be an in depth tutorial for the more labor intensive aspects of the process, but if you guys want more information and can’t find it elsewhere, please ask and I'll know what I should be talking about next. 

Also I’m also contractually obligated to mention to the masses that I do take commissions both for the drawing of RP icons and the service of capping, cutting, recoloring, and framing canon icons. Sometimes I even post batches of canon character icons for free on this blog so like,,,,, hit me up if you want. But!! You don’t need me, you can absolutely do all of it yourself!!  I go into the broad strokes below.

Question 1: “How do you get icons?” 

This is kind of a broad question and the answer depends on what your needs are. The right answer for you is gonna live in one of two camps 

Find some that already exist that are free to use

Make them yourself / commission somebody else to make them for you. 

What you'll choose is gonna depend a lot on your character first and foremost.  The big determining factor in most cases is whether or not the face you want has been in anything you can take pictures of. 

If you have a canon character who exists in visible media--

--you're in luck! The chances of you finding some resources that exist already is higher when you have a canon character who is in at least a few pieces of media. OP asked about Pearl from Steven Universe, and she's a great example of a character with a lot of resources. Searching for rp icons of a popular character will often yield packs of icons on Tumblr, Dreamwidth, Livejournal, etc. Most of these will be completely free to use or have very reasonable conditions for use (like credit the person who made them for example.)  It's often a good first step to see what preexisting resources are available to you even if you still plan on making your own icons. 

If you have an OC or a character that's not all that popular--

--you're gonna fall into the second camp. If you want icons, you have to have them made. So what are your options?

Help! My character appears in no media! What are my options?

If your character appears in no media you're in a tough spot. Different people approach this problem in different ways. 

Face Claims

One option you have is to choose a face claim to represent your character. In roleplay a face claim or ‘FC’ is a person or character whose appearance you use for the physical description of your character. I personally am not big on doing this, I prefer drawn icons and I tend to RP as animated characters, but some people really like using celebrities and stuff to represent their characters.  When I was playing Angus McDonald he hadn't appeared in any visual media yet, so I sometimes used Bryce Clyde Jenkins as the face claim for certain types of threads.  

If you're somebody who likes to use face claims there are loads of resources out there for finding the perfect one, including here on tumblr. Try searching up RP Faceclaim Directory and playing around with some of the ones that pop up.

DIY RP Icons

The other option you have is to create those icons from scratch. Draw them yourself based on icons you like or commission an artist to draw some for you.   If you can't draw yourself, I've seen some people get really creative with this. Some people create their character in the sims, dollmakers, or their favorite RPG and then take screenshots of that to use for icons.  There's also no law that says every icon you use has to be your character's face. When I was writing a trashy mermaid AU I got a lot of mileage out of icons that depicted harbor and oceanic scenes with no actual faces. Get creative, go nuts, have fun.

Icons Aren’t That Important

The other thing to remember that icons are not a must in many RP circles. It's perfectly possible to have a great time and write cool stuff without any pictures at all. Depending on your platform of choice there are probably also other interesting ways you can make your posts unique to you by formatting the text or using symbols or emojis or otherwise denoting your personal style in text.

Help! My character appears in lots of media! How do I make icons?

Again, there are a million and one answers to this question and it really depends on what tools are available to you and what your preferences are. This section is not a tutorial but it will outline some of the options you can look into.

The icon making process is typically in 2 stages-- stage 1: get all your images of your character, and stage 2: edit all of those images into icons.  

If you have access to the source material, any version of Photoshop, and software that automates the collection screencaps from video (KM Player, VLC, etc) you're pretty much gucci. You're gonna have no problem getting loads of nice icons in a reasonably short amount of time and there are a million different tutorials on how to use those things whichever way you prefer. 

If you don't have access to those things you still have options. 

You can still screencap things manually, and you can screencap in batches by holding down the windows key and pressing PrtSc any time you want to save an image. They should be saving to >pictures>screenshots unless you’ve set things up differently. It’s a good way to take a lot of screenshots without stopping in between.

( EDIT / UPDATE: to say that if you use automation for taking screencaps remember to turn that shit off when you’re not using because it oh mylanta it WILL continue to take images without you realizing. Figured out where all my disk space has been going with this rookie mistake, thanks OP)

Additionally, PhotoScape X is a really great little tool for windows and mac that I've never seen anybody talk about, but I use it sometimes and it's totally free with the exception of a few paid features I’ve never once needed or wanted. This program is not as efficient as using Photoshop but it has presets for cropping images easily as well as batch editing options for some basic borders and color retouching.  While it’s not as powerful as Photoshop, you can get a lot done with it reasonably quickly compared to other choices. You can also take and edit snips of anything on your screen with it, which is really really useful if you don’t have access to the video or image files you would need on your hard drive for other version of this process.  The program looks like this:

Also, not to be like a minimalist about it, but you can also just fucken use Microsoft Paint or whatever you have. Like, whatever, there’s no law. You graphics dont have to be comlpex or deep fried. Half of my icons have been made or edited in paint at some point. It wont be as fast as some of these other methods but a lot of us aren't out here making icons in batches of 100 at a time. 

Anything that you can use to make smallish images of your characters face will work to make icons.

If you want more information about any of these methods of icon creation let me know and I’ll talk about them.

Question 2: “How do you make your icons ‘work’ in posts?”

I'm a little confused on what you mean by "make them work" so I'm gonna cover my bases here. I'm assuming what you're getting at is a sort of sense of cohesion in the icons I use, or having the "right" expression for the scene I'm writing. Either that or them not stretching and looking weird thanks to tumblr. I’ll get to both of those.

And before I go into my own rationale for icon choices I feel I should point out that a lot of people who aren't me do successfully manufacture cohesion out of their images by doing fun stylistic things like recoloring their images all the same way or putting cute borders and stuff around them or making them fun shapes, and that's totally something you can learn how to do if it interests you.  I do this for icons commissioned by other people and I’m not against talking about how to do those things, but I don’t really bother with them for my own icons all that much. That stuff is all fun and it’s a neat thing you could get into that can make your icons all look really nice together.

BUT ANYWAY --

Since the character you asked about is Pearl, I’m going to focus on her. Nearly all of my Pearl icons are completely unedited and a lot of the credit I would have to give regarding icon quality goes to Pearl herself and the consistently good lighting that the show uses. I don’t have a huge need for editing or color retouching beyond making memes or whatever other goofy things I might be getting up to. Pearl is extremely expressive compared to other characters I have written and since she's in nearly every episode, I've managed to collect…

...oh god, that’s too many icons.

Pearl is a main character and I've been RPing as her for over 6 years now so I have a fuckload of images to choose from and I'm not gonna pretend that doesn't help when I wanna “make things work”. She gives me a lot of options.

That said, you absolutely don't need 3000 images to make a good post. The way I've collected and organized these images may be of use to you even if you dont have as many icons. I've done a lot with my setup to make finding the right icon very easy. 

For starters, a minor subset of my Pearl icons are grouped by a particular defining feature. I have one large Pearly folder full of icons and then a few smaller folders inside for icons I thought worth grouping separately. For example, all icons of SUF Pearl in her new jacket are in the same folder. All icons of Pearl in short term alternate outfits are in the same folder. Anything I sourced from Attack the Light is in its own folder. I do this with anything that has a very specific use, such as writing AU content or flashbacks to specific time periods. If I can picture an icon in my head, I usually know where in my ridiculous hell collection to go to find it. 

This folder was originally just for her pre-canon outfit but now all of her outfits that only appeared temporarily are in there.

Perhaps more important for the sake of cohesion is that nearly all of my icons that aren’t squirreled away in some smaller folder are loosely arranged by episode. What that means is that most of the time I have icons from the same scene right next to one another. It makes it incredibly easy to make my RP replies appear as though it's all one cohesive scene even if I use more than one icon. When you do it this way it becomes very easy to choose icons that have the same lighting or that appear to lead from one expression seamlessly into another. Exhibit A:

While the vast majority of my icons are numbered, I do take the time to name ones I find myself using a lot or that have particularly unique expressions. Usually I'll choose names that I'll find descriptive or easy to remember based on the context of the icon. You can have a lot of fun with that and never lose your favorites.

Also don't be afraid to lean on icons you got from weird places if you like them.  The icons of Pearl from the official comics run don’t look like most of what I have. I think them being different would turn a lot of RPers off, but I use them a lot because I like the style and I almost never see other Pearl RPers using them.  It either makes me stand out or it makes me tacky, one of the two, haven’t figured out which, but also I’m not stopping.

And just to reiterate, you can use icons that aren’t your character if they’re thematically relevant or vague enough to look like them. When I’m capping I’ve started saving a folder of miscellaneous environments of interests, hands, and other everyday types of scenery that appear in the thing I’m taking screencaps of.

You can use any size you want for RP icons but the most common is 100x100 or 150x150 pixels.  Any smaller than that and the image gets to be difficult to read and work with in my opinion. That doesn’t stop people, of course, but I’m elderly and need glasses now, so no tiny icons for me.  On that note, I rarely see RP icons larger than 300x300. Any larger than that it tends to get bulky and be in the way of other people’s comfortable internet browsing experience, especially on mobile.  Of course, these are just my suggestions. What you choose will ultimately be up to you, but somewhere in that 100 to 300 px range is pretty safe.

A very tumblr specific thing to know is that any image that is wider than 300 pixels will be stretched to hell, so you probably want to keep it smaller than that.

Thanks, Tumblr, I hate it!

Also, don’t be afraid to make trash images for fun if you’re so inclined. People love that, or at least I do. Not having the right icon can be fun and lead to a very silly solution. Lean into being a shitposter if that’s what you’re called to do. 

So yeah, that’s basically what my suggestions are. Collect your images in a way that helps cohesion and ease of use. Keep them a good size. Don’t be afraid to get unconventional with your choices or make memes or whatever. It’s all for a fun time.

Anyway, that’s all I can think of right now, but more info on any of this can be obtained at the price of one ask, I know it was a lot of different moving parts.

[inspired-by-the-music]

For You: 4 O’Clock

Chapter 1: Comeback

Taglist: @jineunwootrash

“Dude! Lei!” Lucas cheered into my ear as he (again) combed his fingers through my recently chopped black hair. Independent from those who cried that I ruined my visuals, he boasted, “I love this!”

Lucas was too excited. About my haircut, about my still-secret impending debut in SuperM’s comeback, about getting to work together after years of being best friends. Even as I struggled to escape his reach, trying to smooth my hair before a stylist could scold me for wasting their hours of hard work, trying to force my smile into the hard line that would fail to convince Lucas to behave, I laughed. I was too excited too.

My laughter died with the ever-present realization that somebody is always watching. That curse of being an idol meant that we couldn’t feel this way— carelessly happy— or, rather, that we shouldn’t.

Before I could remind Lucas (he always needed to be reminded), Mom’s voice broke through the on set bustle. “Break’s over, kids! Hands to yourself Lucas— this is why we have dating rumors! You don’t want to end up like the idol who never debuted!” She spoke without glancing up from her clipboard, without faltering in her fast-paced course to who knows where to do who knows what, the fabric of her bright red pantsuit swishing in time each step.

Lucas finally stepped away, instinctively abandoning his assault on me to stare after Mom. As I dropped my phone into my backpack, satisfied that there was nothing worth a response in my inbox or on social media, he whistled. “Dude, Mom is hot.”

Were I not used to that— Lucas referring to my mother as if she were also his, calling her hot— I might have cringed. Indifferent, I forced my eyes to roll because that was the kind of reaction Lucas liked. “Do you ever think that’s why you can’t get a girlfriend? The fact that you lust after my mother— our manager?”

Lucas shook his head. “Nah. I can’t get a girlfriend because everyone things I’m dating you.” He poked my forehead accusingly as if his smothering affection weren’t the cause of those false rumors, and I swatted his hand away. “Plus, didn’t ya hear? We can’t even touch a person of the opposite sex or else we’ll end up like the idol who never debuted.” His breath huffed out of his forever-swollen lips.

The story about the idol who never debuted because of an unplanned pregnancy was some kind of fable, myth, or urban legend that pervaded every aspect of life as an S.M. idol. Maybe nobody ever really believed it. Maybe everyone thought it was some cleverly crafted tale to get us to focus on training. Maybe we thought we wouldn’t hear it after debut, but it was whispered in response to every dating scandal and mentioned by Mom still on the (frequent) occurrence that Lucas ignored my boundaries.

All I know is that Lucas and I hated that story, and we expressed our hatred differently. Lucas was determined to rebel against it not by getting a real girlfriend but by committing to being my best friend in every sense of the word, regardless of what the press said, regardless of how fans often misinterpreted, regardless of Mom’s plentiful scoldings. And I— well, Lucas said that I was the perfect idol because I was as obedient as I was talented, but the truth was that becoming the scandalized idol in the next cautionary tale was my biggest fear. That’s why I strictly observed a self-imposed total dating ban: fear of controversy. And maybe deeper down, a fear of intimacy, but more on that later.

I shied away from Lucas’s reference to the scandalized idol, rationalizing to his widening eyes, “I’m due on B set. I have to re-do my introduction because I kept getting distracted by Taemin’s laugh yesterday.” I wondered what could have been so funny to Taemin, but I never would have asked back then.

Lucas’s mouth fell open, I’m sure, to tease me about being incapable of functioning around Taemin, but his turn to speak was stolen by a boisterous trio of men I would recognize anywhere.

The faces of Donghae, Eunhyuk, and Shindong were among the most familiar of my childhood. I could remember vaguely when they debuted. I was six years old, sitting backstage where Mom could find me as soon as the first Super Junior Stage was completed. Being an unofficial trainee at the time, I was studying Mandarin.

Anyway, what matters is that I couldn’t escape once Super Junior fixed their gaze on me. If I did, they would tell Mom, and I would be in trouble not only for disrespecting my elders from work but also my elders in a familial sense.

“Where’s our manager?” Shindong barked at nobody in particular. Nobody responded because Super Junior’s demands for Mom had become too commonplace to garner any attention.

“Isn’t this a bit bold?” I smiled gratefully while accepting a strawberry milkshake offered by Donghae, who greeted me with a small closed-mouth grin. “You guys have stormed onto the SuperM set every day this week.” Which meant I had a strawberry milkshake every day that week. Oops. Another failed diet.

Donghae said, “We’ll cross improper lines for you mom every day of every week,” and Eunkhyuk added loudly, as if aspiring to arouse Baekhyun’s attention, “Yeah! She was our manager first! She loves Super Junior best!”

Baekhyun appeared out of nowhere. As always, his voice— a bright shout— preceded him. “Not a chance! She’s our manager now! I’ll never let you take her!”

And just as quickly as he had appeared by my side, Baekhyun dashed off in pursuit of Mom with Eunhyuk and Shindong following closely behind.

I shook my head. Goofball Baekhyun, running the wrong way.

“What is it?” Donghae tilted his head to meet my gaze. “She’s not that way?”

Donghae was so earnest, so intent on looking right into somebody’s soul, that these moments when I held his attention were blush-inducing. I squirmed, and Lucas snorted. “Oh, uh, I don’t know. I don’t know where Mom is. It’s been kinda hectic, and I haven’t seen her in a few hours—”

It was hard enough to lie to Donghae without Lucas butting in.

“What are you talking about?” Lucas had been quiet for too long, so he shouted through a mouthful of barbecue chips fished out of my backpack. Thief. “She just told us— ow!” He shrieked as I grabbed his hand and crushed it with all the force I could muster.

“Sorry, Donghae.” I bowed to my senior. “We really have to go! I hope you find my mother!” Guilty, my eyes flinched away from his frowning face.

Once we were out of Donghae’s earshot, and once I dropped Lucas’s hand, he stretched his digits and whined, “That hurt, Lei! Why did you do that? And why did you lie to Donghae about Mom?”

“Because,” I hissed, narrowly dodging an intern running with two tall cups of coffee, “they’re fighting.”

“They’re fighting?” Lucas gasped.

I nodded. “Yeah.”

Or, at least, I thought they were fighting. I didn’t know why Mom was avoiding Donghae, but I had overheard vague snippets of her conversations with Heechul when they were supposed to be watching some drama in the living room after dinner. I heard her sigh of relief when she learned that she would be responsible for organizing SuperM’s comeback and tour rather than assisting with the next Super Show. I didn’t need to know the specifics that Mom would never tell me. No matter how much I liked Donghae, if there was a fight, I was on Mom’s side.

“Here.” I passed my milkshake to Lucas after taking one long sip. “You can have this. I can’t take it onto set.”

“Ooooh!” Lucas’s eyes rounded in gratitude. He skipped off before turning back to shout, “Wait, Lei, what’s my schedule again?”

He needed to listen during briefings instead of playing around with my hair.

Having settled into the chair, sitting perfectly still so the audio technician could clip a microphone to the collar of my sheer black sweater, I responded (not loudly enough to disturb the tech), “You’re supposed to take pictures with Mark.”

“Okay! Thanks!” He grinned.

That time, my smile wasn’t forced for the camera; it was a reaction to Lucas.

Taemin and Kai were unapproachable, each for completely different reasons.

Lucas joked that I was the born and bred idol, and most people seemed to agree, but I always thought that if the perfect idol existed, his name was Lee Taemin. Like me, he debuted at 14. Unlike me, he proved himself worthy of fame and admiration with pure talent.

Hate comments didn’t need to remind me of the role Mom played in my success. I was grateful and, under my carefully crafted proud exterior, I was insecure. I was not talentless, and I worked hard almost in a vain attempt to distance myself from the poorly disguised mutters that I was only an idol because of Mom; Taemin was beyond talented, and he worked hard because he knew no other way to stride toward his goals.

“You need to stop being so weird,” Lucas told me after one of my first practices with the group. “You can’t just stare at Taemin when you pout about how everyone stares at you.”

Lucas was right. I hated being lumped in with the millions who failed to acknowledge Taemin’s humanity. But the truth— that I was some kind of hypocrite— was easy for Lucas to see; it was easy for him to say.

Lucas was the only person who didn’t seem to realize that Taemin was the center of every room. He was the only one who didn’t cling to Taemin’s every word. He was the only one who didn’t see Taemin’s other-worldly glow.

I think that’s why Lucas was my best friend: he didn’t see me or Taemin or anybody as idols. He saw us as people, liked us as people, and that was rare. From that first day at practice, I was torn between the desire to be like Lucas and the desire to be like Taemin.

Anyway, Kai didn’t like me. He didn’t hate me (at first) or anything, and he didn’t particularly dislike me, but he was the only member (aside from Taemin, who I admired too much to approach for fear of saying something stupid) who didn’t know me pre-SuperM.

Even once I was approved to debut with them, Kai hadn’t held eye contact with me for more than three seconds at a time. I wasn’t sensitive about it, and I wasn’t in the market for a new best friend— Lucas was more than enough— but Kai’s aversion to me was inconvenient, annoying, and frustrating considering that we were cast into a subunit together.

We recorded our songs (which were the most sensual of my career because they were meant to evolve my image from bubble gum pop Idol to something more “adult”) separately. Despite the quickly approaching tour dates, we hadn’t once practiced our choreography together. Kai was my senior, so I couldn’t approach him with my concerns about our lack of preparation. That’s why he was unapproachable; I had to wait patiently for him to address our tension.

I hoped that he would have taken the first step toward me before we had to shoot promotions, but Kai still couldn’t meet my eyes— despite the photographer’s repeated demands that were carefully phrased as requests— as our bodies were pressed flush together before a swarm of cameras.

Although I would rather forget, I think I can pinpoint the moment Kai decided to hate me. He flinched away from my touch again as I draped my arms over his shoulders and laced my fingers together behind his neck, per the photographer’s instructions.

“Come on, Kai!” I rolled my eyes, whining in unison with the rest of the members, who had gathered around the set nearly an hour ago after finishing their schedules. My face was hot not because of the close proximity to somebody as handsome as Kai, not because of the glare that hooded his dark eyes, but because my patience had run out. “Everybody is waiting for us! Can’t you just act professionally so we can get this done some time this year?”

His eyes widened as if I had slapped him across the face. Note: if you ever want to insult Kai— and I can’t imagine why you would— challenge his idea of professionalism.

Kai’s jaw tightened as he forced his eyes away from me to glance tiredly at Mom. “Manager, do we have to do this? I would really like to avoid a dating scandal.”

My next few words were kind of hypocritical since nobody feared dating scandals more than I did. “A dating scandal? These are pictures for our subunit— for our job. Stop making it weird.”

“It is weird!” Kai argued without looking away from Mom as she pinched at the bridge of her nose. He took two big steps backward, and my hands fell from around his neck to my sides. “And I don’t understand—”

“Just do it like this, Kai!” Baekhyun bounced onto the set, leading Lucas by the hand. After winking at the camera, encouraged by Lucas’s laughter (and Mark’s panicked, “Yo, man, what are they doing?”), Baekhyun threw his arms around Lucas’s shoulders and tossed his head back.

When everyone except me, Mom, and Kai laughed, Baekhyun leaped into Lucas. They toppled onto the hard ground, the only indication that they hadn’t broken their neck or any other bones being their ear-splitting laughter.

“Fine!” Mom was calm despite her sharp increase in volume that made me flinch.  “If you don’t want to be in a subunit with Lei, Kai, then you won’t be.”

While Kai sighed in relief, I wheezed, dejected. My heart sank down to my ankles. It was bad enough to lose the opportunity to be in a subunit with one of the best dancers at S.M., it was worse to lose it at work where I couldn’t express disappointment, and it was worst to lose it in front of Taemin, who stood stiff and red at slack-jawed Taeyong’s side.

Embarrassed and eager to escape the stares, I bowed to Kai and set to scoop Lucas off the floor, where he still laid giggling with Baekhyun, because he would make me laugh hard enough to drive away this sinking sensation.

“Where are you going?” Mom’s voice stopped me in my tracks. “Stay where you are, Lei. Kai—”

She didn’t have to finish the order. I understood mainly from Kai’s wince that he was ejected from our subunit— not me.

“Wait,” Ten said slowly, in time with my realization, “Lei’s subunit is still a thing?” His eyes sparkled. He smiled because the choreography he created for me and Kai would still find an audience.

Lei’s subunit. My subunit. The title was exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

Who would replace Kai? I wondered, watching him sulk to Taemin’s side. As Taemin’s eyes flashed to meet mine for the briefest second before he muttered something to Kai— probably words of comfort, probably words to condemn my role in Kai’s semi-public disgrace— I could only think Please not Taemin. Don’t let it be Taemin. Anyone but Taemin.

And I looked at Mom pleadingly, as if she would be able to read those thoughts through my eyes. She blinked back at me.

“Oh my God!” Mark shot both hands up in the air and waved them excitedly. “I’ll be in Lei’s subunit! Let me do it, Momager! Please!”

Oh God. Please not Mark. Don’t let it be Mark. Anyone but Mark.

“Why should you get to do it?” Ten glared up at the standing Mark from his metallic folding chair. “I choreographed their dances, so I should be cast.”

“But I’m, like, the king of subunits!” Mark rose to his tiptoes and waved his arms again in an effort to secure my attention. “If you pick me, Lei, I’ll get you into NCT Dream!”

That was a bit of a running joke— my longtime aspiration to perform with Dream. Hearing it in that moment of high stress made me laugh out loud. One of those side-splitting laughs. Real. Mark smiled at having untangled the knot in my stomach with little effort. In moments like those, I thought it wasn’t so bad that he had a crush on me.

“First of all,” Taeyong interjected, ever the mediator in NCT conflicts, “Mark, you can’t get anyone into Dream—”

“Who do you think talked the agency into making Dream a fixed unit?” Mark’s face turned scarlet as he yelled, and Taeyong didn’t bat a single eyelash.

“— Second of all, Lei doesn’t get to pick who takes Kai’s place.” We all shifted at Taeyong’s casual acknowledgment of Kai’s ejection. “Ms. Kim does. So both of you—” Taeyong eyed Ten and Mark sternly, and I wondered how they didn’t fall apart under his gaze— “be quiet and let her make her decision.”

Mom nodded at Taeyong gratefully. “It’s not much of a decision to make; I’ll just employ the second choice—”

“It’s me, right?” Baekhyun finally jumped off of Lucas, stood upright, and brushed off his all-black suit while flicking his bleached bangs out of his eyes.

Baekhyun’s goofy smile faltered when Mom shook her head. “Lucas, get up. Your dream is coming true: I’m giving you permission to touch Lei.”

“Oh yeah!” Lucas flew to my side.

Before I could wrap my mind around the fact that I would be in a subunit with him— my best friend, my rumored boyfriend— Lucas grabbed me around my waist, which was exposed under a fitted white crop top— and pulled me flush against him into the pose Kai had struggled with for hours. “Leicas forever, suckers!”

As Mom ushered Baekhyun to stand with the others off set, and everybody groaned at Lucas’s ever-enthusiastic embrace of our rumors, I laughed.

The camera flashed at last. Finally relieved enough to breathe, I returned Lucas’s embrace and joked, “Is that going to be our subunit’s name? That silly ship name?”

Lucas laughed as he lowered to press his forehead to mine. That was how things should have been all along: me and Lucas free to smile at each other and express our friendship— as silly and affectionate and beautiful as it was— to the whole world without fearing backlash.

“Look at this.” 

I slid my phone to Lucas across the glossy light wood floor as we sat, stretching in preparation for dance practice. I watched his eyebrows knit together as he scooped the phone into his hands; I watched his jaw fall open as he scrolled past the headline and through the fans’ comments. 

“Hey.” Taeyong kicked at Lucas’s foot before joining us on the floor. Always the leader (even without the title in SuperM), he reminded, “Phones aren’t allowed in practice.”

Lowering effortlessly into a stretch that resembled the splits, Ten defended, “Momager isn’t here yet, so—”

“Look at this!” Lucas shoved my phone into Taeyong’s face. Then, as if Taeyong couldn’t read for himself, Lucas said, “Pop News is writing about the idol who never debuted!”

As Taeyong gripped the phone with his slender hands (and a curious Ten and slack-jawed, messy-haired Mark gathered around him to gawk at the screen), Taemin plopped onto the floor next to me. His knee brushed against mine, and I stiffened while he smiled despite the room’s tension, skin shimmering without the aid of makeup. 

“We don’t have to worry if it’s Pop News,” Taemin said. “They aren’t exactly a credible source— remember how they covered that ‘Any Other Name’ scandal?”

Nobody could forget the chaos surrounding the Korean adaptation of a best-selling novel written by a young American woman. The love triangle between the author, a scandalized actor (Jungkook) and the author’s best friend/famous fashion designer (Jimin) was the biggest scandal in recent history. Everybody knew that gossip as if it were the plot of a classic blockbuster film or an almost distant, almost tangible high school memory, so I shouldn’t have been surprised by Taemin’s reference. 

“You keep up with celebrity gossip?” I asked Taemin quietly, my eyes narrowing to see how this information fit with my conception of him.

Taemin’s face flushed pink. He mistook my interest for criticism as he often did in those days, and I didn’t know how to correct him. 

While trying (and failing) to connect his phone to the Bluetooth speaker, Kai started, “Maybe Pop News isn’t credible—”

“They’re definitely not credible.” Ten crawled to the side of the room to tuck my phone into my bubble-gum pink backpack. Turning back to the group, he grinned, “Pop News is, like, if Mark was a news outlet: cringey, baseless—”

“Hey! I’m not baseless!”

“Anyway.” Kai puffed his cheeks full of air. “Pop News may be a scam, but they have a lot of followers. Sometimes if a lie is heard by enough people, it becomes like the truth.”

It would have been nice to be able to disagree, to believe that truth is truth, and lies are lies, and rumors are just rumors. I wanted to disagree. But I couldn’t. 

Kai continued, “And obviously Pop News isn’t wrong about everything. Jungkook and that author were dating! They’re even engaged now!”

So Kai kept up with celebrity gossip too. Was that the kind of thing he and Taemin talked about over meals? 

While my pulse quickened at the talk about dating scandals and I tried to ease my anxiety by resuming stretches, Baekhyun stirred from his nap in the corner of the room. 

“Well!” Baekhyun yawned. “If you ask me, Momager is the idol who never debuted.” 

“What?” The rest of us shrieked in unison, and Baekhyun laughed like a maniac at our identical wide-eyed open-mouthed expressions. 

“Just think about it! When Taemin, the king of dance—” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Taemin stiffen at Baekhyun’s playful compliment despite the bashful smile pulling his lips taut— “kept screwing up that choreo, Momager demonstrated. And she was no amateur.”

Considering Baekhyun’s evidence, I gnawed on my cheek. Mom was a gifted dancer; her precision, like Baekhyun said, rivaled Taemin’s. No, her precision enabled her to find fault in Taemin— perfect Taemin. 

Baekhyun wouldn’t mention this, but Mom was also a natural singer. She proved that on the first day in the studio when she coached Baekhyun through a challenging run. After he crossed his arms and whined, “What you want is impossible!” she stunned him silent by belting the notes in one attempt. 

But Mom couldn’t be the idol who never debuted, I frowned, because that meant I was the reason—

“Look, Mom is totally hot enough to be an idol,” Lucas smirked before his eyebrows lowered skeptically. “But don’t you think Lei would know if her mom was a former trainee?”

At that remark, everybody turned to face me. 

No, I wouldn’t know if Mom was a former trainee. 

I knew very little about Mom’s past because I hadn’t asked many questions. I knew that I was born in Atlanta, Georgia, her hometown. I knew that I could not remember the last time we spoke to my father. I knew that life didn’t really begin until Mom started her career by managing Super Junior. 

I didn’t remember anything before Donghae started bringing me milkshakes, and Heechul started making me laugh with funny faces, and Ryeowook (or Wookie, as I had always called him) started fitting our tea parties into his busy schedule, and Eunhyuk started unofficially training me to be an idol through dance lessons. I didn’t remember anything before Super Junior became my family. 

As I crumbled under my members’ stares, as I drowned in the guilt of having neglected Mom’s pain if she was the idol who never debuted (in the guilt of knowing I had never asked about her because the spotlight had always been on me), Baekhyun repeated, “Momager is the idol who never debuted!” “What?” 

We all turned to see Mom’s ghostly pale face in the doorway so quickly that we whimpered and rubbed at the backs of our necks. Whiplash. Great. 

“Don’t say stupid things, Baekhyun,” Heechul scolded as he nudged Mom’s motionless body into the dance studio. “Of course Kimberly isn’t a failed trainee! That story about the idol who never debuted is just something we tell you kids—” he jabbed an accusatory finger at me and Lucas— “to keep you from dating!”

Lucas boasted, “I knew it!” And everyone laughed as he triumphantly pumped his fists into the air. 

My laughter was forced, though.  

A glance down at my watch confirmed that Mom was half an hour late; Mom was never late. Heechul never escorted her to her schedules. Heechul never called her by her full name; to him, she had always been Kimi. Heechul never pressed a comforting kiss to the top of her head. 

Something was wrong, and I couldn’t ask what because we were at practice. And I wouldn’t have been brave enough to ask in the privacy of our home. And I wouldn’t have been strong enough to stomach the answer. 

[littledreamybeth]

The morning after

A/N: I know that you normally should a write a pre-story first before you write a following but I really had no idea atm and what turned out of this mess is what I’ve got now :( there is gonna be a prequel, I can assure you, in which I will clarify more how they ended up in this situation. Meanwhile, enjoy this bad piece of work :/ xoxo Picture is not mine.

Warnings: slight sexual content

Background info: Harry and his stylist Y/N have feelings for each other for a long time and a confession leads to a steamy night.

Y/N woke up to a terrible stinging pain that she felt in the lower half of her body. Grimacing at the sensation, she tried to sit up without causing any more aching between her legs, however, she was left perplexed when she felt a very strong and muscular arm around her belly preventing her from leaving her position. Panic rose in her veins, also, the warm breath hitting the nape of her neck and the naked chest pressed tightly against her back increased her uneasiness even more. Her heart was pounding hard between her ribs and when she let her eyes trail down her body, she found herself surprisingly in a complete bare form. The more shocking were the dark and purple love bites covering both of her breasts and collarbones. Her nipples looked all bitten and sore. She took a glance under the sheets which were hiding her exposed body and discovered a few more marks on her hips and thighs; so, whomever she had slept with last night, must have treated her with extreme passion and devotion, making sure they left a trace behind.

She was afraid of who she would find cuddled up against her if she even dared to turn around. Only when she spotted the fewer amounts of rings positioned on the stranger’s fingers which looked quite familiar, she could solely assume who it must have been. And the realisation hit her hard. Like very hard.

A shocked gasp left her mouth which she instantly covered with her hand in order to not wake him up.

This can’t be, she thought.

But still, she slowly and cautiously turned around and when she faced him, her soul literally slid out of her body in that moment. Her eyes widened enormously. There he was lying and sleeping peacefully like an angel, shoulders all scratched and one huge purple mark displayed on the soft skin of his neck, unfortunately for everybody to see. There was no way they could ever cover up the evidence and when the others would take a peek on it, they would instantly know what the two of them had been up to the night before.

Y/N didn’t know if she should cry or laugh. Him lying innocently beside her was enough to confirm her assumption. Last night did indeed happen!

And I thought I was dreaming…

Suddenly, her memories of the night prior unexpectedly crushed onto her and stole the air in her lungs. She mentally found herself back beneath Harry’s body, her face between the warm palm of his hands while their lips devoured each other passionately, legs being tangled with each other and their bodies fitting perfectly as if they were created to be loved by one another. She heard the low moans and the sweet “I love you”s Harry had panted in her ear while he thrusted his hips hard and deep inside her core and sent her to pure bliss. She had felt his deep hunger for her.

And his eyes. She remembered the happy gleaming in his eyes. The way they were fixated on her with adoration while she screamed his name in ecstasy. The way they had met hers and made unspoken promises. The way they had said “Trust me, I’ve got you”. Harry had shown his love and care to every centimetre of her body and Y/N would never forget how special she felt under his treatment. It was indeed a night to always remember, even though Y/N firstly woke up and had a little black out.

Dream, she laughed at herself, how could I think I was just dreaming? Stupid girl.

She tried to untangle herself from his tight embrace which turned out to be quite challenging. As soon as she lifted his arm and wanted to place it on his side, Harry stirred from his sleep which made her halt. Harry, on the other hand, as if he was having none of it, laid his arm back around her stomach and shoved his chest against her back, burying his face in the crook of her neck and his breath tickling her which caused all the tiny hairs on her skin to rise. She had goose bumps practically everywhere now.

She waited a few more moments, her fingers playing with his rings before she gave it another try. This time she managed to escape his cage carefully, making sure that he was still asleep safe and sound.

“Ouch!” she winced, feeling the ache between her legs once more as she placed her feet onto the ground. Putting her arms on her lower half, she slightly massaged it to get rid of the pain. Searching for her undergarments and finding them scattered across the floor, she stood up from the bed however, she would have almost fallen to the ground if she hadn’t steadied herself against the wall. Her legs were all wobbly and weak, making it difficult for her to stand straight. She had to admit; Harry had done a very great job.

She looked back at the sleeping man behind her, who made no single indication of waking up.

Then, she walked with a limp to collect her underwear from the floor. After sliding through her bra and underpants, she went to the bathroom to freshen up a bit. When she saw her reflection in the mirror, she was amazed at how she was glowing. It was obvious that Y/N had a long night- her swollen red lips, her messy sex hair and the love bites were proof enough- and that somebody had treated her well.

Y/N couldn’t tell why but she felt a sudden boost of confidence; the confidence she had never had before. She felt more comfortable in her body and it just took someone to mess around with her a little bit physically to recognize how beautiful she was indeed but never realised.

The cold water meeting her face awoke her senses, flooding away the tiredness in her eyes.

She brushed her teeth and after she was finished with her business, she looked for something to cover up her half naked form.

Finding her nightgown in her suitcase, she put it on and then tried to fix the mess of her hair.

“You look gorgeous,” she heard someone speak behind her. Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. She turned around to face the handsome young man who was finally awake now.

Harry smiled at her gently, straightening up from his position. “Good morning, love.”

Y/N gulped. She didn’t know how to respond or what to say. How do you talk to a person you just spent a night with? Especially if he was supposed to be your ‘friend’?

“Hey?” she spoke quietly, afraid that her voice would betray her. “How did you sleep?” Really girl? She scolded herself. That’s what you come up with! Confidence for fucks sake, Y/N!

“Fantastic,” Harry replied. And he really did. Sleeping right next to Y/N and waking up beside her was everything he could’ve ever dreamed of.  He stretched his body, but kept his gaze still focused on her.

How beautiful she is in her morning glow, he thought. His eyes observed her from top to bottom, taking in every single detail that he couldn’t see in the dim room last night.

Y/N went back to combing her hair and fixing it into a bun while Harry watched her like a love sick teenager. The fond smile on his lips could’ve been seen from miles away. A little bit of skin peeked through her nightgown and he smirked smugly as he spotted the love bites he had given her. They decorated her so perfectly as if they were made for her.

“Sweetheart?” he spoke.

“Hmm?”

“I think we should talk about last night, if that’s okay with you of course?”

Heat rose to her cheeks, she had seen this coming because they weren’t able to talk things through once reaching their highs. Harry just held her close, kissed her softly, told her that he loved her and they both fell into a deep slumber afterwards.

“S-sure,” she said nervously. There was no point in hiding or avoiding the elephant in the room.

“Come here, then.” He had his arms spread wide for her, only waiting her to collapse against him, however, his smile faded when he saw the struggle on her face while she trying to approach the bed he was sitting on.

 “Are you okay, Y/N?” Harry asked with concern. He didn’t miss seeing the funny way she was walking and biting on her lower lip, squeezing her eyes shut as if she was in pain.

Her glance landed on him, but she couldn’t say anything in return.

“Oh fuck!” He called once it hit him. He immediately jumped out of the bed in rocket speed, almost tripping over his clothes which laid on the ground, and hurried to her rescue. He picked her up, slinging one arm under her legs and the other behind her back and carrying her back to the bed in bridal style.

He placed her carefully onto the sheets, making sure he wouldn’t cause any unnecessary pain than she was already enduring.

Then, he took a seat right in front of her, holding her hands firmly into his. His thumbs tenderly ran over her knuckles.

“Oh, love I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“Harry-“

“I was too rough with you, wasn’t I? I hurt you…” His head fell in shame and embarrassment.  He couldn’t even properly look at her. They just had their very first intimate time and she was supposed to be feeling good, not ending up getting hurt.

“No, I’m fine,” Y/N assured him, lifting up his chin. “Really, I’m only sore, that’s all.”  

“You’re telling the truth?” Harry questioned, not believing her 100 percent.

“Absolutely.”

He sighed in relief, his heart being more at ease.

“We were very into it, huh?”

“I guess so,” she laughed slightly.

A short silence followed only to be interrupted by Harry.

“Y/N, I’m usually not the guy who sleeps with a girl right after confessing his feelings, you know that. I’m so sorry, I just lost control over myself.”

“Har-“

“Not that I regret it or something, I mean you were amazing, like wow, it literally blew my mind, and I had the best night of my life, that’s for sure and I know I’m rambling and probably make a fool of myself.”

Y/N laughed and took his face between her hands. He was very cute when he was nervous.

“What I want to say is: I would’ve taken you on a couple of dates before taking the next step. But you’re so bloody gorgeous, I just couldn’t take my fingers away from you. If you just knew what you do to me. I promise I did mean what I said last night. I do really love you and I would never use you for my own pleasure. Hope your opinion about me hasn’t changed and you’re not second guessing anything.”

“No, I think- I think I wanted it myself. And apparently we both enjoyed it very much. I know I did.” She pointed at the marks on their bodies. They shot sheepish smiles at each other.

“It wasn’t just a hook up, was it? It meant something more.” Harry asked with fear lacing his voice. What if she didn’t think the same as he did?

“Of course, it meant something more. I thought you would know it already. Harry, I would never sleep with someone I have no feelings for. I would have stopped you before we took it that far.”

“I’m asking because you never said it out loud, y’know that you love me, so…”

She leaned forward and connected their lips to a kiss. “I really love you too, handsome. Have for a long while now.”

“Your confession sounds like music in my ears. You made me so unbelievingly happy, m’love.” He engulfed her with his arms and pressed her against his chest.

“So, what now?”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“About us? Would you like to be my girlfriend?”

Y/N gasped, pretending to be offended. “Harry Edward Styles! Do you even have to ask? Of course, I want to be your girlfriend, you dork.”

“I wanted to make sure.” He giggled and buried his nose in her soft hair. Y/N focused on the big purple mark on his neck, her fingers trailing along his skin.

“It’ll be hard to cover it up,” she remarked. Harry chuckled.

“I honestly don’t think it matters, the others probably figured it out by now.”

“How come?”

“Babe, we most likely woke up the entire hotel last night.”

She groaned, hiding her face in her hands. “I won’t be able to look at them in the eyes today.”  

“Speaking of them, we’re supposed to meet Clare and Adam for breakfast at 10 AM…” He took his smartphone from the bedside table and switched on, “…and we have roughly forty minutes from now. So we better hurry.”

“Alright.”

Harry stood up and bent down to grab his shirt from the floor and that was the moment when Y/N saw the deep and red scratches on his back. They started at his shoulder blades, leading down his lower back. Y/N wondered if he felt any pain or just pretended like he didn’t.

“Woah!” she exclaimed in surprise.

“What? What’s going on?” Harry asked confusedly, glancing over his shoulder.

“Uhh, you- you may have very nice red lines on your back.“ Y/N said, gesturing at them, feeling the heat rise up in her cheeks.

Harry grinned, walking to the mirror hanging on the wall and observing his back.

“These are very pretty red lines, aren’t they babe? Love them.”

Y/N placed herself behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. Her lips gently kissed a couple of the red marks. “They don’t hurt, do they?”

“No, not at all. But it’s nice to have something to remember by, even if it’s just temporary.”

They decided to take a quick shower in the bathroom which of course ended up a bit more intimate than they had planned. Their hands discovered each other’s bodies once more and both of them savored the gentle touches they were receiving.

“Harry…” Y/N sighed while he had pressed her against the wet and steamy marble wall and attacked her neck with his mouth. “We- we don’t have time…”

As much as she enjoyed being this close to him, she also didn’t want to keep her friends waiting.

“We’re gonna continue later, petal.” he whispered in her ear as a promise. “And this time, you won’t be able to run away.”

“Would never,” she responded, kissing his lips.

After showering, Harry sneaked his way back to his hotel room in nothing but a towel around his hips while Y/N got dressed and made herself ready for breakfast. She scooped a scarf out of her suitcase for Harry to hide the love bite she had given him.

“Hopefully no one notices until we find a way to cover it up,” she prayed. Not that she was ashamed, but no one really had to know about their nightly adventure.

A knock on her door indicated that Harry was also ready to leave.

“What it this for love?” he wondered when Y/N shoved the black scarf into his hand.

“For the mark on your throat. We don’t need people to know what we did, okay?”

Ten minutes to ten, they had arrived at the hotels canteen and spotted Clare and Adam who had been already there before them. Both were laughing at something Adam had just told her. It was Clare who saw them approaching.

“Hey guys!” she called in a very good mood. She was always the type of woman who spreads positivity in other’s lives. She patted the empty seat next to her.

“Good morning,” Y/N smiled at her friends.

“How was the party last night?” Harry asked to Adam. After the show, CASM just decided they would have a drink at a bar while Harry wanted to stay at the hotel with Y/N.

“It was good actually. But if I were you, I would leave Mitch alone today. He has a very bad hangover and is all grumpy and stuff. Poor guy drank ten shots yesterday. Sarah could barely keep him on his feet.”

Everybody around the table laughed.

“So, we didn’t miss anything?” Y/N said.

“Nope, nothing you don’t know already. How about you guys? What have you been up to?” Clare inquired.

Harry and Y/N turned their faces at each other simultaneously. “We-“

“And why are you wearing a scarf, Harry?” Clare smirked at him.

“Is it forbidden to wear a scarf, Ms. Uchima?”

“I was just curious. You never wear scarves around us so…”

“Someone did the dirty, I assume,” Adam remarked, eyeing each single one of them.

Y/N’s cheeks were tinted red in a few seconds. She looked something like compared to a tomato. Harry sat there, very bewildered and his mouth wide open. There was no point in hiding anymore. They knew.

“That’s none of your business,” Harry murmured, playing with his rings and avoiding eye contact with his band mates.

“Aww, come on don’t be ashamed, bro. It was fuckin’ finally time, eh? Took you long enough.”

“Adam!” Y/N exclaimed outraged.

The older man raised his arms in defense.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m just happy for you. No joke. You guys are a thing now, aren’t you?”

Harry glanced at Y/N. The words in his eyes spoke volumes. Taking her hand gently in his, he nodded. “Yeah, we’re officially dating.”

Mitch and Sarah joined the four five minutes after, taking a seat next to their friends and Adam was indeed not kidding. Mitch looked very grumpy and tired, almost as if he would kill anyone who dared to near him.

Sarah greeted them friendly, however, Mitch- he threw daggers at two specific people. If looks could kill, Y/N would be a pile of dust already.

“The next time you decide to fuck your brains out, just make sure to keep it quiet. Even a deaf man could hear what you were doing.”

Everyone erupted into another a fit of laughter, making the young couple shrink into their seats with lowering heads.

-this is so bad and messed up, I’m sorry-

[linoholic]

Model!Hyungwonho

Requested: Nope, though I lowkey was going to request this on another blog but then got really inspired and decided to write it myself instead

Pairing: Monsta X Hyungwon x Wonho x Gender Neutral Reader

Genre: poly!au, model!au

Warnings: suggestive and mature themes

I’m mainly basing my knowledge of the industry from various Top Model series that my sister has forced me to watch with her, so there may be (probably will be) inaccuracy’s but I tried my best.

Hyungwon and Wonho are two models both under the same agency

both of them model for magazines and ads, but Hyungwon also does runway modelling while Wonho prefers to simply pose for the camera

they are both pretty big deals in the industry

having done various big contracts for various big name brands

shoots have been done both alone, together and with other models

let me tell you, people went crazy for the shoot the two did with model!Minhyuk and model!Changkyun

but not only are they loved for their visuals

but also their personalities

they also interact with fans a lot on social media

both of them have at least 200,000 followers on instagram and have various fan accounts dedicated to them

they are basically idols with the music career

(that is until famous producer!Jooheon did a collab with Wonho, which broke the Wonho stans when they heard his vocals)

Hyungwon loves shoots that take him outside of Korea, loving to travel

he is also an acted, though not very active in the industry

when people hear ‘model’ they immediately think of narcissistic, uptight people

but these two boys couldn’t be more different

they are both the softest, sweetest things ever

Wonho is so much more than just abs

he really shows off how sweet and considerate he is when on set

he asks how all the staff are and helps out with any heavy lifting that may need to be done

any co models are looked after by him

he makes sure that any female models he has to work with are comfortable, as well as males

Hyungwon is also more than just a pretty face

while quieter than Wonho and Minhyuk, and less outgoing

he is still a sweet baby

while people expect someone of his visuals to be dressed up well and with a cold attitude almost

our frog boy will often turn up to shoots barely awake, face all puffy and still half in his pajamas

and though photographers and companies think this unprofessional, they immediately chuck those thoughts away as Hyungwon smiles tiredly at them and just genuinely looks like a baby they need to protect

and people love it when the two of them are together

their Tom and Jerry style relationship is hilarious

both of them are huge teases, and this is amplified when they are put together

cue makeup-artist!Shownu shaking his head is amusement and photographer!Kihyun in exasperation in the background as they argue over who suits the dark concept better

they are often seen appearing on each others instagrams and snapchats

usually stealing the others food or camera time

of course, with being famous comes shipping

and these two are a popular ship in their fanbases

especially since Hyungwon played a female character in a tv show and a video of Wonho fanboying over the character ‘Dodo’ got out

so when a statement was released about the two being in a relationship the Hyungwonho fans went crazy

nothing much changed in their relationship on camera

they are professionals after all, and have to act it

but every now and then you will get a cute picture of the two on one of their instagrams

one that suggests more than a platonic relationship

they are still the idiots that tease each other, it’s just that now they do it “because I love you”

now, it is about year later when you come into the picture

you are the one of the stylist’s that will be working on one of the rare shoots that the two will be doing together

of course, being in the fashion industry, you are very knowledgeable about the people in the same work force, including make up artists, other stylists, designers and of course, models

so you are familiar with Hyungwon and Hoseok, and actually consider yourself a fan

you follow their careers quite closely, considering them both very talented people that you look up to

so when you find out that they are two of the models at the shoot you are quite excited

sadly though you won’t be styling them, having been assigned to the team for the female models

the shoot is for a clothing lines winter collection, but not the outdoorsy coats and scarves you expect

but more party oriented, so there are lot’s of dresses, silk shirts and suits, fancy jewelry and high heels

as you are getting one of the girls dressed backstage, you hear some commotion coming from the main set

walking out, you find out that one of the models hadn’t shown up, saying last minute that they couldn’t make it due to illness

the shoot’s director is quite obviously stressing out, so you decide to just start backing away, deciding that the situation has nothing to do with you when the man in question looks around and catches your eye

“Hey! You there? Have you ever modelled? If not, then welcome to your first time,” he says towards you

while you just stand there, not having expected anything like this and before you can answer anything some staff are ushering you back to where you were

and this time you are the one with clothes being fitted onto you instead of the other way round

some of the other stylists are mentioning about how lucky you are

because if the likes of Wonho, Hyungwon, Hyolyn and Bora are models at this shoot; the fact that the director thinks that you have what it takes to work with them is a massive compliment

and you...aren’t actually all that nervous

mainly excited

because you yourself have quite a big following on social media

you post ootd’s and selfies often, and so you aren’t a stranger to being in front of a camera

you know fashion and you know how to work clothes and your body in order to look your best, so you aren’t worried that you will completely mess up and look an idiot

so with your confidence up thanks to your fellow stylists compliments, plus that of Hyolyn, the famous female model who just so happened to pop in to welcome you and check up on you; you are ready to walk out there and do you best

and that you do

you don’t get a chance to properly introduce yourself to anyone else before you are ushered into a solo shoot

you do however catch eyes with Wonho who is stood by photographer!Kihyun and smile politely, which he returns brightly

soon enough, it is somebody else’s turn to be in front of the camera and you step off set, glad to be out of the hot lights that made your face feel like it was melting

and this is when you formally meet Hyungwon and Hoseok

they are both standing closely together, and turn to you as you walk their way

“Hey! It’s nice to meet you. I’m Wonho and this is Hyungwon. You were real good up there you know. You wouldn’t think this was your first professional shoot.”

your cheeks turn slightly red, thankfully hidden by your makeup

now, you don’t blush because an attractive man just smile your way

you are well aware of the relationship between the two men after all

it’s more because someone so talented just complimented you and told you “you did good”

thanking them, you then introduce yourself and start chatting to the two, quickly finding them just as personable as people say, Wonho being more open and Hyungwon quieter but really quite funny you find out

you take a few selfies with them to upload to your social media, and between all the back and forthing on set you carry on conversations with them

as it starts getting late and the shoot wraps up, you get given a few cards to modelling agencies due to your good work that day, to which you’ll tell them you’ll think on it

after getting changed out of the fancy gear and wiping the makeup of your face, you change back into your own clothes and go to leave, thanking any staff you pass for their hard work

on your way out, you meet up with Hyungwon and Wonho who are also getting ready to leave to their apartment

you all talk for a few more minutes, before Wonho suggests exchanging phone numbers

and of course you say yes

who would say no?

and that is the start of your friendship with the couple

you become close with the two quite quickly, finding them hilarious and ever so sweet

thankfully they aren’t big on pda and aren’t one of those overbearingly in love sort of couples

which you appreciate because brunch ‘dates’ become a thing for you three

(it’s the best way to get Hyungwon to wake up; bribe him with food)

when the photos from the shoot you did are released, they throw a mini party for you because of the amazing response people gave you even though it was your first time

you meet the rest of their friends there, including a couple of guys you remember as staff from the shoot

months pass, with you taking on a few modelling jobs now and then thanks to the guys encouragement

you start to become a lot more popular, your own mini fanbase growing

Wonho and Hyungwon become some of your best friends; and you three have fun teasing the other guys

over this time though, your friendship starts to become less defined, small gestures shared between you start to become less and less platonic

Hyungwon and Wonho had sat down and had a conversation between them

as it turns out, they had both started to like you as more than friends

and both of them, being pretty chill guys, accepted this very well

because they both knew that the fact that they both liked you didn’t mean they loved each other any less

and of course they now called you their best friend; so they knew you very well by now and as so they knew you would also be pretty chill about it if they decided to confess to you

and that whether or not you accepted the invitation didn’t matter because they would still be your good friends

one night, you were at their apartment watching a new drama, nothing out of the usual

Hyungwon is falling asleep on Hoseok’s shoulder and you are tucked into his other shoulder, legs thrown across the two boy’s laps

the leftover sushi from dinner had been put into the fridge already and the chocolate covered popcorn had been forgotten in it’s bowl on the floor

on the tv the two leads are doing the usual cliche kiss in the rain

when suddenly Wonho turns to look at you, and quicker than you can blink, leans in and places a small peck on your lips

now, this certainly wasn’t what you were expecting so you are caught of guard

i mean, not only did one of your best friends just kiss you, he did it while his boyfriend was literally right next to him

so you are panicking slightly, not knowing what to do

but then, you feel Hyungwon grab your hand and squeeze it slightly, a tired smile pulling at his lips

and you relax, returning the smile and you all go back to watching the drama

except that now Wonho can’t seem to keep his lips off of you and Hyungwon, continuously pressing pecks to both of your cheeks

of course they do actually ask if you want to be a part of their relationship, but it isn’t really needed but you just so naturally integrated into it

so well done! you’ve managed to snag two gods as boyfriends

and you are such a gorgeous trio

whenever you walk anywhere together, heads turn your way because you look like you have come straight from the runway (which is actually true sometimes, at least in Hyungwons case)

your instagram throuple photos are so aesthetic

but you also take the chance to meme the fuck out of your boyfriends now that you see them behind their model images even more, and their fans love you for it

so now you and the fans exchange memes of the two, to which you constantly use in the group chat that you three share

Hyungwon fully embraces this and even teams up with Changkyun in a meme war against you (to which you drag Minhyuk into as your partner)

you are their own personal cheerleader, and they are yours

if you aren’t busy, you accompany each other to any shoots or runways that you may have, totally hyping each other up

the amount of compliments that are given in this relationship is countless, especially from Wonho who will tell you both that you look stunning, 5 minutes after he last called you it

you and Hyungwon will also go to the gym with Wonho

and even if you are the biggest gym rat ever, nothing will get done while you are there because you two will be busy drooling over your boyfriend

which he loves because he works hard to keep up his fitness and appearance, and getting complimented on something you work hard for is always nice, no matter if it is good grades, an art piece, a song, your makeup or your body

(just make sure not to sexualise people yo, especially Shin Hoseok aka the cutest bean ever to exist)

when you move in with them, the amount of beauty stuff you have between the three of you is ridiculous

you also have a whole bedroom that has turned into a huge walk in closet

and the three of you often share clothes, which isn’t too hard because both of them like the baggy, oversized style

it’s mostly hoodies that are passed around, sometimes you end up not knowing whose it was in the first place

you fall in love with their bed, because Hyungwon made sure to splurge on it because “it’s where I spend most of my time, it has to be worth it”

there is no set sleeping arrangement

it just depends on the order you go to bed

Wonho does like to be big spoon though

Hyungwon doesn’t care, he just wants to sleep

their Tom and Jerry relationship is still a thing, only now they both whine to you and try to make you take a side, which you refuse and stay neutral and just tease the both of them which makes them team up on you usually

but you don’t mind because roast sessions are fun, especially when you all know the lines to not cross so can go all out

you three aren’t very big on pda, and prefer to link arms rather than hold hands when out and about

in private though kisses are abundant

Hyungwon’s lips are so perfect how can you and Wonho resist?

~nsfw below~

you have mastered the art that is the three way make out session

you are all so chill and open in the relationship, and the others guys both love and hate it

they love that you all make each other so happy

but they would prefer to not see you pinches each others arses when they are around

when it comes to bedroom activities that aren’t sleeping; it is all very equal

both are boys are soft doms in my opinion and so there is nothing very hardcore or especially kinky

when it is just you and Wonho, he prefers to take the lead whereas Hyungwon loves you being on top, and it is the same for when it is just the two boys; Wonho tops

marking is a a big thing in the bedroom

you almost always have a hickey somewhere on you, as do they

though to save the makeup artists time you make sure they are in more..hidden places

let’s just say that you and Hyungwon love Wonho’s thighs and the teasing doesn’t stop when things get heated

~back to sfw~

none of you ever really cook, being quite busy

you usually make Kihyun cook for you, or you order in

Hyungwon loves to spend money on the two of you though and he often takes you out to restuarants; both expensive ones and small family owned ones

this is when the most arguments occur: over what to get for dinner

usually it’s between ramen and sushi (you can guess who wants what)

other than this though you never really get into fights

neither of them are very hot headed or confrontational people and any problems get talked about as soon as they come up and dealt with like adults

overall, the three of you are happy and in love, and are one of the most loving, memeiest and aesthetic couples to exist

ok, this started getting pretty long so I decided to wrap it up here. It is ok as it is my first time actually writing about a poly relationship after reading all the ones I can come across.

Request are open! Rules for request here

[artbysarah98]

Part 15 Gold glowing shoulders

Masterlist

Part 14 You won’t get any sleep tonight (18+)

Taehyung

Taehyung slowly woke up as he heard birds chirping outside. A little ray of sunshine was seeping through the curtains shining in his eyes. He blinked a few times to get used to the light brightening the room. Taehyung turned his head left as he felt somebody snuggle into him. A smile appeared on his facial features when he saw his girl.

A snicker escaped his lips, but he quickly put his hand on his lips to stay quiet. Flashbacks of last night shot through his head. Her confession of who, or rather what she, is, but also their nightly adventures in bed. She looked so cute and peaceful that you would not say that she has gone through what she has gone through as a teen. Nor that she is not human, but a vampire and a hybrid, 'I guess that Namjoon and Vince-hyung are right to say that not everything is what it seems.'

'How many people, hmm...creatures that are like her, in a sense, have I met? I don't know if Ella likes to be called a creature. I should ask her for a better term of referring to her kind,' reminisced Taehyung with a frown on his face and shifted to sit up. He hissed in pain and felt his back, 'Ella has left quite some marks there. Maybe it was more painful than she showed on her face last night.'

His face reddened a little as he recalled that Ella gave him her first time. Taehyung still found it strange that no other man had shown that kind of interest in her before. It could be that Ella never noticed that kind of pursuit from a man until she met him and probably instantly felt what he thinks is their soulmate connection. He felt Ella tighten her grip on his abdomen as she hugged him tighter. Tae smiled as he looked down at her. A strand of hair fell on her face as she shifted her head a little on his chest. Just when he was about to place the strand behind her left ear, the peace in the room was disturbed. His phone started to ring, quite loudly. It surprised him that Ella hadn't woked up yet by the noise when his eyes flicked to her. Vampire hearing and all that.

Taehyung left out an annoyed sigh as he wanted to enjoy this peaceful moment. They reminded him that parts of his life are still like how they used to be, well aside from the fact of knowing that vampires and werewolves are real and a combination of both was clinging to him, ever since he decided to audition and became part of BTS. The band that at the moment is the biggest K-Pop band on the planet. He slowly maneuvered himself out of Ella's arms and replaced his missing space with a pillow.

The moment he got up from the bed to answer his phone, something made him stop in his tracks. Taehyung felt something pull on him. It urged him to look back at Ella, who was still soundly asleep. He smiled as a cute snore came from her mouth. The pull ebbed away but was he was still slightly able to feel it when he had seen that she was, safely, where he left her. Only a few meters away. Although he found it strange, Taehyung also remembered what Ella's mother had always told Ella. Ella's mom believed that they, her husband and she, were true soulmates as they regularly felt a pull between them.

'Maybe what her mom believed, what I believe is real?'

Taehyung shook up from the topic of soulmates being a thing by his phone that got a call again. Shaking his head in disbelief as he saw that several of his bandmates had called him already multiple times before he picked up.

"Hello, this is Taehyung-imminida."

"Ah, Taehyung-issi! You finally picked up," said Jin on the other side of the call. Taehyung rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and turned around to the clock on the wall. 11.45. He gulped as they slept in, even though putting on an alarm. They slept right through it. Not that it wasn't worth it. He then remembered Ella saying that she had an agreement with one of the stylists to cut her hair today, "We have been trying to reach you for two hours now."

"Yeah," heard Tae in the background coming from Jimin, but became more prominent as he got closer to the phone, "Is Ella awake yet? The stylist-noona said that she is going back to Seoul tonight. She leaves for the airport at 13.30."

"No, she is not awake yet. Wait a second."

Taehyung placed his phone on the nightstand and started shaking Ella on her shoulder. She moved her shoulder a little and rolled over on her other side. Tae huffed as he sat down on one knee and whispered in her right ear, "Ella, wake up. You're going to miss your haircut."

Ella sat up straight in bed as she glanced at the clock, "Oh shit!" Taehyung didn't even have time to say good morning to her as he saw her vanish in front of his eyes. Trying to comprehend what just happened, Tae rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times. Then he heard rummaging in the bathroom. A little confused, perhaps even frightened, Taehyung picked up his phone again, voicing his thoughts, " She just vanished in front of my eyes."

"What?" said multiple voices on the other side, laced in the same confusion that his facial features show.

"Ella shot up after I alerted her of the time, saying 'Oh shit.' I blinked once, and she was not there anymore. Upon hearing sound in the bathroom, I realized that she was still in our room."

"That is scary."

"No, it's not Hobi. It is brilliant!" said Kookie's excited yet impressed voice.

A chuckle escaped his lips when he heard Jimin muse, "I wish that I could do that."

"It would be an amazing gift for you. You would never pull a Jimin anymore."

"Yah!" came from Jimin, who could barely hold in his laugh. A little moment of silence passed before everybody started laughing.

Tae wiped a tear from the corner of his left eye, "Was there another reason you called?"

"Yes, Sejin-hyung just informed us that we are flying back tomorrow. He said we should enjoy our remaining time in Riyadh while we're here," said Kookie in an excited voice.

"Thanks for passing the message along," said Tae as his eyes glanced at the bathroom door, "I'm going to go now. Tell the stylist noona to come up in 30 minutes. Ella will be ready by then."

He heard a confirmation from the others that they would do so and hung up. Tae waved his fingers through his bed hair. Before heading for the bathroom, he folded the clothes that were spread out around the bed, laying them on the suitcases, and made the bed. Taehyung also turned over the sheets so that the spot where he came on last night was hidden from sight as well, 'Okay, that looks like there were no sex activities here at any moment.'

Taehyung opened the window to let in the fresh air, but actually did it to air out any remaining 'sex-smell.' He grabbed some clean clothes from his suitcase and headed for the bathroom. His intention; showering with Ella while she was still under it herself. After opening the bathroom door, Taehyung placed his clothing next to Ella's on the towel rack. Slowly, he tiptoed over to the shower. Taehyung opened the door and engulfed his girl in a hug from behind as he joined her inside.

"Good morning, my favorite hybrid in the whole world!"

A giggle escaped her lips, "Good morning to you as well. Correctly speaking, I'm the only hybrid in the world."

"It doesn't make you any less my favorite one," said Tae as he placed a kiss on her right shoulder. He noticed a mark as he moved back to his original position, "Did you always have this mark here?"

"You mean that strange-looking crescent moon? For as long as I can remember. Why?"

"Two things. One, I have one as well, also on the right side. Two, I think it was half of a heart."

"What?" was her confused reaction as she turned around in his arms, looking up to him.

"You can check yourself in the mirror, but the mark on your back isn't a moon anymore. It is a heart."

He saw her eyes grew wide as she scanned her shoulder in the mirror, "What the hell? Up until last night, it was a crescent moon shape."

She felt on her right shoulder with a frown on her features. Ella's face became serious as she looked in his direction once more, "Turn around. I'll check yours."

He slowly turned around as Ella continued talking, "Could this have happened because we had...Uhm, you know."

"I know...what?" said Tae, teasing smirk on his lips. He felt Ella lightly punch his shoulder. Taehyung looked over his shoulder to find her eyes. Ella was quite red, "You know...sex."

She looked away shyly. Taehyung chuckled, "You're still so shy after being so bold last night."

"Stop it," muttered Ella as her eyes focused on finding the mark on his shoulder. Upon hearing her gasp, he knew that the birthmark on his back changed into a heart too.

"Mine changed as well, didn't it?"

Wordlessly, Ella confirmed his question. He turned around to see her look flabbergasted. Taehyung saw her mind gearing to find an answer to this situation. She opened her mouth, but there weren't any words forming on her lips. Something inside him, however, seemed to connect dots.

"What if your mother was right all along?"

"No, no, no," said Ella, violently shaking her head trying to deny that possibility, "soulmates can't be a real thing. If it was or is, then why does the supernatural community know so little about it."

'Ah, so that is what I should call creatures like her. Supernatural.'

"Maybe it is unique, just like being able to write with both hands," said Tae as he pulled her close, "Let's just ask Vince-hyung. Maybe he can help."

Taehyung felt Ella nod against his chest. He rested his head on top of hers. They stayed like this for quite a while, and slowly the shower started to light up in a golden glow. The brightest spot, for his eyes, seemed to be coming from the heart on Ella's shoulder.

"Your shoulder is glowing gold light!" said both of them at the same time.

"I guess this confirms that soulmates are a thing, but it gives me only more questions," said Ella as she pulled out of his embrace to look at him.

"I think we can," said Taehyung looking a little bewildered. Ella placed a hand on his cheek. A soft smile on her lips. He covered her hand with his and leaned in to kiss her. Before their lips attached, Taehyung saw Ella close her eyes, anticipating the feeling of his lips on hers. A smile graced his lips before giving her what she was waiting on.

He slipped his tongue in, the second he felt her lips part, inviting him in. Instead of going for her canines, like he originally planned as he knew that it excited her, he sought out her tongue.

After a few minutes, Taehyung pulled away, biting her bottom lip in the process, whispering against it, "Go and get dressed. The stylist will be here in a few minutes."

She nodded and slowly detached herself from him. Before exiting the shower, she turned back to him, "I enjoyed last night."

He glad that the shower water was warm and gave him a red face because his face has become as red as his hair has been in the 'Save Me' era. He let the water run over his face trying to calm down. Once he felt that he could voice his thoughts again, he spoke up.

"How do you feel? Was I too rough on you?"

He heard Ella trying to hold back a giggle. Emphasize on trying to.

"Just how much of a damsel in destress do you think I am?"

"Uhm, I don't."

"And you shouldn't. I'm stronger than you and the others, my uncle included. He knows that I am."

Taehyung could hear the tone in her voice. He also felt his shoulder burn. As if it was angry. Both gave him a feeling that she meant it.

"Glad to know you agree with me."

"How did you -"

"Probably the same way that you felt that I meant what I said. Through a feeling on my shoulder."

"When I think this soulmate thing is becoming easier, there are just more questions forming in my mind."

"You're not the only one," said Ella in response. A ring came in through the bathroom door, which Ella had opened before they came to their current topic, "I guess that is the stylist."

"Surprise me," said Taehyung, a smirk gracing his lips as she left him alone. Already wondering what she would look like when he would join them after his shower. It excited him. A little too much. He wasn't feeling anything coming from his shoulder. Unfortunately, it wasn't giving any intel on her feelings or thoughts. Or Ella is trying her hardest not to give information away.

'That is if this soulmate thing works that way,' Taehyung rested his head against the shower door, 'My body caught up with my brain. Hopefully, the bond doesn't work that way. I don't know how I would feel if she knew what she is doing to me. At least, not right now.'

Taehyung glanced down, knowing he needed to do something about his painfully erected penis, 'Why does thinking about her make my body react like this? It never did with previous flings.'

'It has to be connected to us being soulmates,' thought Tae as he turned the shower on entirely. He hoped his moans would be less hearable from the living quarters of the apartment. Through the running water, he could hear the girls laughing. A smile graced his lips, 'It seems like they're getting along...and if they keep this up, they won't even notice the sounds I make.'

He leaned against the wall. The water slowly ran down his well-built body as he grasped his erection. A soft, strangled moan escaped his lips as he started pleasuring himself. Throughout the years, Taehyung has learned that trying to calm down didn't help him. A release was his only option since going out into the living space with a hard-on would be very embarrassing.

Taehyung was glad that he had learned how to give himself a satisfying orgasm in a short amount of time. Tae let out a snicker as he remembered the only time that he stood on stage with a hard-on in front of a stadium filled with ARMYs. Once, but never again, is what he learned thanks to that incident. His hand moved slowly, setting up a rhythm that he found pleasurable.

Soft moans and groans left his mouth as he looked down. The precum started dripping down over his length. Taehyung glided his hand over the head of his dick, taking the precum along with the movement, to lubricate his hand a little more. The water from the shower was not creating enough for his taste. The slipperiness from his hand combined with the water that continuously hit his penis made him speed up his movements.

"A-ah, Ella," fell from his lips in a rain of moans. He knew since she helped him jerk off for the first time in combination with the memory of last night, that helping himself get off would never feel the same again, "Ella. Ah, Ella."

His hand moved faster and rougher. Taehyung was close. Very close. "Like that, Ella, just like that. Argh, I'm so close."

The remembrance of her moans as he pounded into her last night excited him even more. He tried to go faster, but his orgasm hit him as he stroked over his length in that rhythm twice.

"Aah," left his mouth in relief as he felt his penis soften as his cum shot out in big, white strings onto the door. It slowly trickled down toward the drain. Taehyung held on to the handle of the shower to keep himself standing. His orgasm had made him weak in his knees. His eyes followed his sperm as he watched it being flushed away through the drain. Taehyung was exhausted from one orgasm, but his release felt euphoric.

'I haven't come this much, of a memory, while jerking myself off, in a long time,' thought Tae as he rested the back of his head against the wall behind him, 'I don't know if it's the bond or her, but it felt amazing.'

Laughter filled his ears. It seems that the ladies haven't heard him because they didn't ask if he was okay. The syllables of Ella's melodic laugh made him smile as well. Taehyung was glad that despite her past and all the events since meeting him, she could still laugh like that.

She was everything bodyguard Young had described in his stories and so much more. 'I'll keep you safe and happy,' though he determined, 'I'll be there when you need me to be. I just know that we will be able to get through anything the universe sends our way.'

His hand graced over his right shoulder, a boxy grin on his lips as he felt something emit from there. It seems that his last thoughts got through to Ella. Somehow, at least.

Soulmates and this bond between them still had many mysteries to it, but they would find the answers. He just felt that they would, as long as they believe in each other.

Almost forgetting the reason he went to join Ella under the shower in the first place, Taehyung grabbed the bottle of shampoo she had used before him and washed his hair.

He let the shower rinse his body of all remnants related to their nightly adventure. Well, all except for the marks made by Ella's nails when he thoroughly fucked her for the first time in her life.

Something had told him, most likely the bond they shared, to give her the most memorable first experience ever. So he did, but also let her explore what she wanted to while he was teasing. Although Taehyung had to encourage her to do some things that she was too nervous about, which was completely understandable.

Tae looked in the mirror as he dried himself off. His eyes glanced over every mark she made on his body. Secretly, he wished that he brought his phone with him when he grabbed his clothes. That way, he could commemorate this view forever.

A slight smirk hung on his lips. 'ARMY would probably lose their minds if they knew how dirty I actually am,' reminisced Tae as his fingers slowly traced one of the red lines created by her hybrid sharp nails. It slightly stung upon touching, as he expected, 'Or how much you excite me into thinking like this? Making me do those things?'

He tossed the towel in the washing bin and dressed. Taehyung was glad that he grabbed a dark shirt for the day. That way, the nail marks won't shine through his shirt. Tightening his belt, Taehyung made his way to the door, barefoot, as he forgot his socks and shoes in his hurry.

Upon entering the living space, he heard Ella say, "Thanks again, have a great flight. See you back in Seoul."

All in fluent Korean. She has changed so much since her arrival back in July. She sounded like a native to him. Could their bond have made it easier for her to learn his language? Or is she just gifted in the languages?

Taehyung didn't know, but it encouraged him to learn English fast as well. He strived to become fluent in her native language, Dutch, as well. Ella had assured him to take his time. "Don't rush it," was what she said to him when he told her that he wanted to learn her language as well. He wanted to be able to say what she meant to him when BTS would go back to the Netherlands again.

He slowly made his way to the bed and grabbed the clean socks and shoes he left behind. As he put them on, his eyes glided to his girl. Her hair was a little shorter but still over her shoulders. It was something else that caught his attention, though.

The stylist-noona had braided her hair in a fishtail braid over her right shoulder. Ella reminded him a little bit of Elsa from Frozen with that hair.

Deciding to test if their English lessons paid off, Taehyung voiced, "You look ravishing with that hair."

He saw a smile grace her lips as she turned to him, pushing the door shut, "Do I now? Well, thank you."

Her eyes glided down over his outfit, "You look very slick yourself. Exquisite as my dad would say."

She walked over to him and took place on his lap. A knee on each side, giving him no chance to escape. The look in her eyes held something predatory. As if she has caught her prey and got him where she wanted him.

He gulped, a little intimidated by the current situation. Slowly Taehyung laid his hand on her waist. They looked into each other's eyes, a silent conversation between them. His right hand reached up and cupped her cheek lovingly.

"I love you," said Tae as he leaned in to claim her lips. A slow, soft kiss was all they needed to know how much their love for each other was.

Ella pulled back from the kiss first, whispering against his lips, "I love you too." For a second, Taehyung thought he saw stars twinkling in her eyes. The golden light from their shoulders shone brightly. It illuminated the surrounding furniture.

"I'm glad we met the way we did," said Taehyung as his fingers lightly traced her soulmark, "I think that I would have never found you if we didn't, especially if soulmates became a proven thing. I might have gone insane by not knowing if I had already met them."

Ella's lips held a soft smile, "Who knows?" She pecked his lips afterward, "Soulmates are fated to be together, according to the definition of the word and my mother's words. Eventually, we would have found each other, but in a different way."

That made sense as their shoulders proved it. Everything in the universe made it so that they would end up together.

"Do you think the others might have soulmates as well? Or that there are other forms of soulmates as well? Like on a friendship base?"

"I truly don't know. Even in the supernatural world, soulmates are a rare thing. Some documents covering the topic exist, but there is no concrete proof. The possibility might be real."

He saw Ella's brows furrow as she thought about something.

"All of you believed that Jung Kook would be awkward around me like he is around various other women, right?"

"Yes," Taehyung had a feeling that she was onto something, "Do you think you might have a bond with him as well? But on a friendship level?"

A confused frown was on his face as he thought about it. He didn't know if he was happy about it, but Jung Kook is his best friend. So if it turns out to be so, then he would accept it.

"It might explain why he was so out of character for all of you. However, I have never felt a connection to him. Not like I felt something pull me to you."

Her eyes were shining as she spoke about the connection. It made Taehyung's shoulder started glowing a little brighter and feel fuzzy. Taehyung liked it when she talked about it. Actually, he loved it whenever she openly spoke her mind.

"Maybe we can find out? I want to know if they can see the light as we do. My mind is overflowing with questions."

Ella giggled at his enthusiasm and placed her arms around his neck. His attention, undividedly, went to her.

"Calm down, tiger. I have questions and curiosities as well, but, first I have to do something."

His brows furrowed in confusion, "What?"

"This."

A little taken aback, Taehyung felt her lips mold with his. He overcame his little shock, kissing her back. She pried his lips open and slid her tongue in. She chased after him, showing him that she could be dominant as well. It excited Taehyung even more.

His arms pulled her against his chest as he tilted his head slightly to increase her access to his mouth. Eventually, Ella pulled back. Both of them panted heavily. Faces flushed. Pupils enlarged just a tiny bit.

"Kiss-Kissing with you will ne-never get boring," said she in between pants as she laid her head on his shoulder. His hands slowly moved and engulfed her into a hug.

"Aah, why do you leave me breathless every time we make out."

A snicker escaped his lips. A smirk evident on his features as he smugly said, "It must be my amazing kissing skills that enchanted you."

That earned him a punch on the chest. Laughing so hard that he coughed while rubbing over the sore place. However, it didn't help. Taehyung felt her gaze on him. His eyes searched for hers. When they met, he could see that Ella didn't look happy.

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," said Taehyung as he looked genuine. However, a slight smirk made it's way back to his face, "But, you must admit, they're a part of it."

Ella mumbled something under her breath.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that," said Taehyung using almost the same words he told her last night.

She let out a huff that he found adorable as she said a little louder, "Perhaps."

His face morphed into a pout. Taehyung moved Ella from his lap. He could see that she looked surprised at his reaction. However, he made up his mind. Tae wanted her to say that his skills were breathtaking. He stood up and walked toward the exit. His shoulder started aching as if it was sad or angry. Taehyung couldn't determine the difference yet. Yet, he felt as if he should turn around and apologize.

Before Taehyung could even make it past the kitchen area of the room, a pair of arms locked around his waist. Ella pressed herself against his back - something that excited Taehyung more than he thought he would, ever since the first time - as she almost screamed, "Okay, okay!! Your kissing skills are one of a kind, but maybe this bond between us makes the experience even more exhausting."

Taehyung turned around in her arms as she continued, "I can't remember ever feeling like that due to a kiss."

"Especially as a hybrid. I rarely get exhausted. Yet, I have been every time we've kissed," said Ella seriously while they locked eyes. Taehyung gave her a quick peck on the lips as he spoke, "Thanks for admitting that I have unique kissing skills, but you might be right. You leave me breathless as well."

He showed her a boxy grin as he saw her smile at him. They had reached an agreement whether it was the same didn't matter to him. Taehyung extended his hand for her, "Let's go out today!"

"Don't we have to fly back today?"

Popping the 'p' Taehyung responded, "Nope, we were given the day off. We fly back tomorrow."

——————————————————

His hand tightly holding onto hers, they stood in the elevator. Taehyung suddenly said, "I want to spend some casual time with my girlfriend sightseeing through Riyadh."

He saw Ella raise an eyebrow as the doors opened for them to enter the lobby. Her face said, 'How do you want to go sightseeing when people follow us almost everywhere we go?' Or it was their bond that did. Honestly, it started to confuse Taehyung.

However, her gaze wasn't on him when he heard or felt her question. His eyes followed her gaze over the comfy-looking couches and past the modern wallclock to the entrance. Now, he understood her worries.

Outside was a crowd of people. Fans and media alike. It seems that one way or another, their location has been leaked.

'There isn't anything we can do about this now,' Taehyung looked back to his girl. The worries and anxiety are visible on her features. Their fingers touched interlaced as he started pulling her along, away from the lobby.

It took her a few steps to catch up with him. When she did, Ella rested her head against his arm and sighed. It hurt him to see her so upset. To encourage her, Taehyung gave her hand a light squeeze. Then he placed his arm over her shoulders and pulled her entirely against him. His shoulder started feeling fuzzy. It made him smile. Well, he made the right move. Upon entering, he saw Jimin and Jung Kook waving from the left side. They sat at a round table decorated with a small lightened candle in glass. The glass was see-through colored blue and patterned wavey.

Slowly, the couple made it's way over to the boys. Jimin was still happily eating his food, saying good morning through a stuffed mouth. However, Taehyung saw JK's demeanor change in a matter of seconds. From enthusiastically waving to concerned, yet the thing that Taehyung noticed was that Ella and he didn't even look at one another.

'There is something similar between them to what I have with her as we expected, but does he know?'

He felt a pang of jealousy as he saw his best friend being so overly concerned over his girl. At the same time, Taehyung was also curious if his earlier questions about multiple soulmate connections being an option. Or maybe his bond was making him behave differently around Ella?

Jimin's voice got his attention as he spoke with his mouth full, "Tae*munch*Taehyung-ssi, where are y*munch*you with your mind?"

"Hmm? Sorry," said Tae while his eyes were still on the silent conversation that Jung Kook and Ella were having. It was as if they knew exactly how to understand one another, "My mind was somewhere else."

His eyes were not leaving the pair as he answered his friend. Jimin's eyes followed the direction Taehyung was looking in. For a second, it seemed like something ignited his mischievousness. However, Taehyung suspected that Jimin had a change of heart when he saw the sad gleam in Tae's eyes.

"You know, you two have something special, right?" this caught Tae's attention. He was about to speak up, but Jimin raised his hand to stop him from doing so, "I don't know if they have something similar, but the connection between you two is feelable in the room. Even now."

His eyes glanced over Ella, but she was chatting with JK about something vulgar. Completely different than the silent conversation that he had seen happening right before his eyes. The topic was her favorite killing method. Jimin and Tae crossed eyes as a chill ran through them, only by thinking of it. Disregarding their chat, Taehyung asked, "What do you mean? Perhaps better said in what way do you feel it?"

His head slightly cocked to the left. Jimin pursed his lips as he thought of a way to explain it. Taehyung saw his eyes light up, "Your face lights up every time anyone talks about her, but it turns into something dangerous when a comment makes you jealous or when Ella has a bad feeling."

Taehyung awkwardly scratched his left cheek as Jimin continued, "However, when you two are together, I don't know, it seems like there is a magnetic pull between the two of you. The others and I agree that it feels like electricity following the both of you. Guiding the pair of you to each other."

"It does feel like," said Taehyung as his hand grazed over the hidden heart on his shoulder. A little electric-like shock shot through Taehyung's hand.

"Is something wrong with your shoulder, Taehyungie?" came Jin's voice from behind him. Taehyung and Jimin looked in the direction that the voice came from and saw the rest of the members coming to join them. Jung Kook and Ella didn't notice anything, or it seemed that way in her case.

Taehyung shook his head, denying Jin's question, "No, there is nothing wrong with my shoulder. What makes you think that?"

"Well, you have been touching the same spot on your shoulder a lot lately. Somehow, it is always when the topic is on Ella," said Yoongi as he plopped down next to Jimin.

Taehyung and Jimin looked at each other, having a silent conversation with one another. Jimin nudging his head to the others in a way that said, 'Tell them.' Tae let out a huff and glanced at Ella. He was not sure if she listened in or not as JK was keeping her attention on him, but the comforting feeling emitting from his shoulder was enough to let him know.

The feeling made his entire body warm and made him feel as if he was floating on air. He got shaken up from that feeling when someone sat down on his left.

"Well?" asked Jimin, once again nudging his head to the others, who joined them.

Taehyung let out another huff, not feeling ready to tell them, but blurted out, "Ella and I are soulmates. Well, for what we know."

He looked at the men who he saw as brothers. They were glancing amongst each other, but none dare to say what they were thinking. Well, all but the one who missed his previous conversation with Jimin, Jung Kook.

"Does that mean that you are fated to be with one another?"

Tae heard Ella trying to hold in a giggle as she answered his question, "In the meaning of the word soulmate, it would seem so. However, even in my world, soulmates are a whisper. Something so rare that there is no proof of it. So, we don't know."

"The only thing we do know is that since this morning, specific marks on our shoulder glow up golden at some moments," finished Taehyung with the information that they did know about their situation.

"What does bodyguard Young think about this?" questioned Suga as he looked from Ella at the end of the table to Taehyung. As the others watched the pair, they met glances with each other.

There were no words said between them. Taehyung doesn't know what it looked like for the others, but for him, it felt like that look between them told everything. A warm, fuzzy feeling floated through his body as they seemed to 'communicate.'

In sync, they said, "No, he doesn't." Their eyes finally pulled away from each other. Before Taehyung set his eyes back on his hyung, his eyes flicked to the maknae of the group. Something irritated him in the way that Jung Kook looked at Ella.

'Maybe there are multiple kinds of soulmate bonds,' lingered on top of his mind as he suddenly felt a soft hand over his under the table. He didn't need to look down to know that it was Ella's hand. His soulmate's, who was trying to tell him that it is okay. Regarding how he feels about a 'possible bond' between his girl and his best friend.

Taehyung would stay true to his thoughts from this morning if it turned out to be true. He would accept it. No matter how hard it will be.

Taehyung let out a soft sigh before he moved his eyes back to Yoongi. His hyung looked in thought when he looked back. A silence hung over their table. Well, aside from the sounds of enjoying their food in front of them. Next to him, Ella only sipped on a cup of tea.

He wondered when she ate for the last time. Would she ever show him? Tell him? The people around them either thought she already ate or didn't pay attention to it. But he and the others knew better.

In the distance from the lobby, Tae could hear a child laughing while yelling something to their parent over the sound of the quiet business chatter of the staff and guests. The kid sounded so carefree. It made Taehyung feel a little jealous. Ever since their big break, globally, it has been impossible - or at least near impossible - for him to be that carefree.

He couldn't even walk Yeontan in the park without security, stroll around the city center or go to see their GangnamDol on K-Star road whenever he wanted. 'But if my life wouldn't be like this, then I would not have found Ella. Or it would have at least taken longer than it has now,' thought he as Taehyung shifted his hand to lace fingers with Ella, 'I think I'm starting to understand what Jimin said earlier. Something special is connecting us, even if we weren't soulmates.'

"I do think you should tell him. He deserves to know," said Yoongi-hyung before a mini smile graced his lips, "You look happy, Tae. Ever since meeting her."

"I am," was all he answered. He saw the eyes of his mates across him get bigger as if they saw something unbelievable happening, but what? When Taehyung shifted his gaze to Jin, Hoseok, and Namjoon at his side of the table, looking over his right shoulder, he understood what caused their reaction.

A faint golden glow was shining right through his jacket, indicating their soulmate bond. For him, it was part of his life now, but his friends saw it for the first time. Just like the pair this morning, they had never seen it in before.

'Maybe the glowing really started after we had sex?' thought Taehyung as his eyes went to Namjoon, who said, "That is going to get some getting used to."

He used his hands to slightly cover his eyes at the strength of the golden light emitting from their shoulders. Because Taehyung saw his eyes shifting between him and Ella, just as he wanted to look at his girlfriend, Hobi-hyung got his attention, "Do you have any control over this? People are starting to look in our way."

Taehyung looked around the room. He saw that the remaining guests in the restaurant, as well as the staff, were looking at their table. Well, that is something new. Looking at them for light shining from his shoulder instead of recognizing him from who he is.

"I don't think we can influence it, but when I tell my uncle, we can go and look up more information about it. The best idea might be to explain what is going on, but people might have difficulty understanding it," said Ella thoughtfully. Her face seemed determined when he looked at her. She really wanted to find out more about this.

Taehyung gave a squeeze in her hand that he was still holding, and she understood what he tried to say to her, 'You look sexy when you're determined to get to the bottom of something, but don't overwork yourself.'

Ella's eyes shot to him as her face became a little red, but showed him a thankful smile, 'I'll be okay. After all, I'm not going to do this on my own. Uncle Vince will help me.'

"Oookay, can you stop whatever you're doing? It is giving me the chills."

Before the pair could answer, Jin shushed the complaining Hoseok, "Hobi, you're going to have to get used to it. It is part of Taehyung's life now. Therefore it also becomes a part of our life."

With that, Jin stood up and asked, "Does anyone want to come along with me to the shopping center?"

Hobi and Jimin stood up and joined him, while Yoongi, Jung Kook, and Joon said that they had other plans for today. Jin's gaze shifted to the lovers.

"Sorry, we are going to do some private sightseeing," said Taehyung as he stood up and pulled Ella into a side-hug, "But have fun!"

"Shall we eat dinner together?" asked Namjoon. Everyone gave an affirmative to him.

——————————————————

Taehyung and Ella scrolled along the streets of Riyadh on their sightseeing tour. Their walk had been peaceful after they left the hotel via a side entrance to avoid the crowd of people wanting to see a glimpse of them.

To avoid being spotted, both of them were wearing a cap on their heads. The sunny weather was working in their favor as they could wear a pair of sunglasses to hide their eyes as well. Taehyung was used to attention even when he was on the streets for personal business, but he could see that Ella was a little tense. Even in a disguise that hid who she was very well.

'What can I do to ease her tension?' thought Tae as they passed a little café decorated with a sign that said 'Happarie Tet-a-tet.' The board made him stop in his tracks and also Ella, as they were walking hand in hand.

"What is it, Tae?"

"Are you thirsty?" asked Taehyung in return, a boxy smile on his lips as he pointed to the café. It was further away from the main street where they were walking. His eyes met Ella's face, who seemed more relaxed than before. Before he even got an answer, Taehyung dragged her to the café cause he knew it was what she needed right now.

"Don't we need to let your bodyguards know where we're going?"

"You don't need to worry about them. Those men need to be able to follow us in large crowds. They are watching us like hawks," said Taehyung as he opened the door for her, "Technically, they are also your bodyguards now. All members of the security team have been since we started dating. Even your uncle, who is now the others that went to the shopping center."

Ella looked at him in disbelief before she realized why she was so tense in the first place, making his statement very solid. Once the door closed, a bell was ringed, indicating to the owner that somebody had entered. Taehyung looked around the café. It had a vintage yet unique style.

All of the store's pieces of furniture are wood-carved. Even the chairs looked handmade, which gave the atmosphere a warm and loving feeling. The decoration was the finishing touch. It gave a unique feel to the café. All tables had four different chairs, and none of the sets matched each other. The table blades had different shapes as well. Some were straight like any other wooden table, yet others had a form original to them.

One table blade looked like it just came from the tree and screwed onto its footing. A few were in specific shapes, like cloud form, circles, and even a heart. Taehyung's gaze shifted to the menu. He didn't know if it was the entire menu, but it was on a chalkboard above the counter.

"Tae, you picked out a good place to have a rest," came from his soulmate, who smiled from ear to ear. The pair reached a table in the middle of the café. Aside from them, there was only an elderly couple sipping on their coffee while making small talk and a young adult reading a book at the window.

After taking out Ella's chair for her, he took his seat himself. They looked at the menu on the chalkboard, even though they had one in the stand on their table. A few minutes later, an employee came up to them.

"Have you been able to make your choice?" asked an elderly woman in Arabic.

"I'm sorry. We don't speak Arabic," answered Taehyung, showing off his improved English. Ella shook her head with a smile on her face. 'Show off.' That is what he clearly understood from his shoulder.

"Oh, foreigners. What can I get you?"

"I'd like a latte macchiato. What about you, Tae?"

"Tea with sugar, please."

The woman said they would get their order shortly after writing down their order. He watched the lady walk back to the kitchen as she gave their order to the staff.

"So, what were your plans when you wanted to go on this spontaneous sightseeing trip?"

The honey-sounding syllables, formed by his soulmate, brought his attention back. Ella looked at him with curiosity.

'Is she trying to read my mind, or could our bond be sharing secrets?' thought Taehyung as he saw her pupils enlarge slightly. Her gaze focused on him. She followed every move, from his gulping to the awkward scratch on the back of his head.

'He looks so delicious. Maybe if I ask him, he will let me taste his blood? Argh, why do you have to keep tempting me? Or is our bond enhancing what I felt when we first met and still feel now?'

"Am I that tempting to you?"

Tae saw her blink a few times. Then she became red. He folded his arms on top of the table and laid his head on it. He grinned at her blushing face, "I love that look on your face."

"Oh, stop it," said Ella as she tried to give him a light push on the top of his head. However, a waiter bringing their drinks interrupted her movement.

Tae snickered in his hands as he got up to make room for the waiter to place their order on the table. Ella had become even redder.

Judging by how she reacted to him, Taehyung guessed that she knew that he got information about her thoughts. He would have enjoyed it if she denied or fought back. On the other side, he appreciated her honesty.

After all, his parents always taught him that honesty and trust are the foundations that build a good relationship. Ella has shown him that by telling the truth about who she is and trusting him with it. Well, aside from the mind compulsion to keep the secret when he is with other people.

A waving hand in front of his eyes brought him back to Earth. When he looked at his girl, she shook her head, smiling.

"Where have you been?" Ella asked as she found his eyes. Taehyung scratched his head as he grinned awkwardly, "Sorry, I had something on my mind."

"I guessed as much."

"Did you say something?"

"I said that you never answered my question on what your plans were when you wanted to go on this sightseeing trip."

"I was thinking either the King Abdulaziz Historical Centre, which is a museum I have wanted to visit, or King Abdullah Park," said Taehyung as he took a sip of his tea.

"Both sound interesting. Maybe we can do both? I mean, we have enough time." Ella said as she put her coffee down.

Taehyung looked at his watch. Local time 13.20. She is right. His boxy smile graced his lips, "Why not?"

——————————————————

"Look, a fountain!" exclaimed Ella, excitedly as she dragged him to it.

Taehyung smiled at her fondly as he let her take him to it. They spend a few hours at the museum, and now they had finally reached the park.

Ella had discussed with him why certain pieces were underrated, while she asked for his opinion on some of her favorite artworks.

Taehyung learned through that visit that she was not only an experienced artist herself but also extremely knowledgeable on art. Ella had told him that her father taught her all that she knew of it.

'Now that I'm thinking about it, she does have a lot of art books in her room at her uncle's,' thought Tae as he looked at his girl leaning over the edge of the fountain, smile evident on her lips, 'I'm sure that I have also seen some of them laying around my place.'

Taehyung gave her a back hug, caging her in his arms, "Enjoying yourself?"

Ella's sweet laugh filled his ears as she answered, "Yes. I have had a wonderful time today!"

"I'm glad," said Taehyung as he rested his head on her right shoulder, "We rarely get to spend time together like this. There is always somebody that interrupts us, or I have a gem-packed schedule."

He felt Ella hum in agreement against his chest, "It is part of your job. That is why we should treasure moments like these. Before we know it, we are older, and BTS might have parted ways to start their own families."

Taehyung doesn't want to think about stopping BTS just yet, but he also knows that she is right. They all still have to serve their mandatory military service, and all of them are not getting any younger. At some point, they probably will have to put a dot behind the BTS career and continue as solo artists or redirect their career as BTS to something they can still do when they are in the forties.

He turned Ella around and looked into her eyes. At this moment, everything felt right. The easy-going environment, the sun setting in the distance, and the sound of moving water due to the fountain. Just the two of them, aside from the bodyguards that keep their distance, but are there to protect Ella and him in case something happens. Ella's eyes seemed to be sparkling, and the familiar pull was on them again.

Slowly, Taehyung leaned in and captured his girl's lips in a kiss. Slow, but precise. He was trying to tell her that no matter what would happen in the future, they will still be together. Not only because of their glowing shoulders, which Tae was certain off that he could feel. His soulmate-mark, which mistook for a birthmark all those years, started to sting a little. All previous times he sensed it, Taehyung didn't know what it was, but now it seems to be connected to the unbreakable bond he shares with Ella.

Taehyung also believed that they would still be together in the future. He can be himself around her. He knows that he can tell her anything if he needed to. Their lips moved over one another and turned into a game of teasing. When Ella tugged his bottom-lip and tried to pull away, he chased after her. Taehyung tugged her lip before pushing his tongue in.

'Her tongue moves so expertly. It's hard to believe that a few months back, Ella felt insecure when we kissed. Now she tries to take control and initiates kisses,' thought Taehyung as he fought her for dominance. His lungs started to burn for air, but he ignored it. Kissing Ella was just too addicting. Ella seemed to notice that Tae needed air and pulled away. This time she stopped him from chasing her lips.

"You need to breathe," said she in between pants herself. She rested her head against his and looked into his dark eyes. A golden glow illuminated her frame. It made her look even more perfect than that she already is. Taehyung let out a sigh as he pulled her against him, "I don't want to go back yet."

"We have to at some point."

Frustrated, Taehyung answered, "I know, but that doesn't mean that we can't walk back slowly."

Tae took Ella's hand and started tugging her toward the hotel. A boxy grin around his lips as he mischievously said, "As long as we're back by 23.00, it should be fine. We don't have to get up until 10.00 tomorrow, and we already packed most of our luggage."

He saw her shake her head as she couldn't believe his reasoning for spending even more time together. The shopping team had called them when they were halfway through the museum, telling them that they were on the way back to the hotel. In return, they informed them that they would need a little longer. That was three hours ago. Taehyung guessed that the others didn't wait for them with dinner.

"You're so clingy. How do the others tolerate this every day?"

"That is something they accepted over time," said Taehyung while taking Ella into a side hug.

——————————————————

Taehyung put his toothbrush back into his toiletry bag and fixed his hair with his hands. When he was satisfied, Tae went back to the main room. His eyes glided to the bed when Ella was already sleeping. She didn't even have time to close the curtains. He suspected that she passed out as soon as she laid down.

He walked over to the window, taking in Riyadh night-time one more time before closing the curtains. A smile graced his lips as he pulled up the sheets to join his girl in bed and saw that she was sleeping while wearing his shirt. It made his heart beat a little faster, and he felt butterflies in his stomach. Ella felt comfortable enough to claim one of his shirts as her own for the night. Aside from his hyungs, no-one does that. Not even past one night stands or flings.

Ella turned around and snuggled into his chest when he laid down next to her. It made his heart and stomach feel even more. Slightly, it also boosted his ego cause he knows that the others don't have someone that clings this close to them every night.

Everything was perfect, aside from the soft moans he could hear from the room next door. Taehyung doesn't remember whether it was Jung Kook's or Jimin's room, but it boosted his feeling of wholeness even more. He doesn't have to jerk himself of anymore every time he was hard. Now he could ask Ella for help.

He turned slightly onto his side and pulled Ella into a hug while closing his eyes. Slowly he drifted off to dreamland, and a smile evident on his lips.

Part 16 tba

[simsinluxury]

                                                                                                                NaNa

As the smooth sounds of Avant filled the air I heard my alarm go off indicating somebody was coming through my front door. It was almost eleven o'clock and everyone was gone for the night. Seeing as though I had set the alarm I assumed it was one of my stylist or receptionist coming back because they forgot something. I was on my last client for the night and I was so damn ready to get off my feet and spend the night in my bathtub with the jets on high. Not to mention Gummy Bear been on one heavy today.

As I was clipping the last clip into my clients hair I heard somebody making their way up the stairs.

What did you forget?!

I called out.

Girl I don't work here! 

I didn't have to look up to tell who it was and if I wasn't so physically tired I would have bust out laughing but I let out a laugh mentally instead. She took a seat as I finished with my client. Five minutes later I was done and seeing my client out. 

Now you wanna tell me way you here so damn late?

Damn is that the hi you give your bestie?! I haven't seen your ass in two days.

I don't wanna hear it bish! I been calling your trifling ass for two days and even texted you. So yes that's the hi your ass get.

She bust out laughing at me.

I'm sorry boo, you forgive me right?

No.

She continued to laugh.

But I brought you gummy bears.

You can give me my damn gummy bears but I still don't forgive you.

Bear your momma is a grouch today ain't she.

I rolled my eyes.

Whatever.

She started to laugh once again.

No forreal I am sorry. I just need some space to clear my head boo.

To clear your head?

I gave her a raised eyebrow. I knew something must of happened for her to say this.

I don't know what the fuck is up with Jayhirad. Like since he got his studio up and running along with him working with the guys on the club he hasn't  been around really the past few weeks. So the other day I got tired of the shit. Like damn at least try to be home at a decent hour one day out the week you know. So I headed over to his studio to pay him a visit and take him his dinner. When I go there it was hella quiet and I didn't see him so I thought maybe he went with one of his friends somewhere and left his car there. So while I'm pondering my thoughts I hear a females voice but was like I think my ass is tripping because when I listened again I didn't hear anything. Something told me to go to his office, before I opened the door I heard the elevator. When I opened the door he looked shocked as hell to see me. Not only that this stank ass perfume scent was just lingering in the air. So when I asked him did I interrupt something and why he looked so shock to see me. He tells me he didn't hear me come in and he was finishing up a meeting. Shit just didn't feel right and not to mention he seemed so out of it. Like I knew what he was saying was bullshit, just like I felt when he lied about that Kimani shit. The scent was even in his damn shirt.

Wait a minute Bee, in his shirt? The bitch was that close to him that the shit was in his shirt?!

Yes NaNa.

What the fuck, did the room smell like they had sex or something?

No not at all, if it did I wouldn't have been able to keep from jumping on his ass. Girl I would have completely lost it. He didn't look like he had redress or anything either.

Humm, did you ask him about it?

I asked him was there something he wanted to tell me, of course he told me no. I told him cool, I didn't want to see him around the house anymore so pack his shit. He can move into the guess house outside or move completely but I don't give a fuck anymore.

Oh my gosh Bee you put his ass out.

I couldn't help but laugh somewhat because her ass was hella quick on shit.

Girl yes, fuck outta here.

Girl you know you are my sister but I don't know about this one Bee. Maybe some bitch was trying to come on to him.

Ok but NaNa why the fuck wouldn't he just tell me that?

Girl he a fucking man, you know they start being dumb as fuck when it comes to shit like this. I have no idea what they be thinking because them telling the truth about the shit is always the way to go verses them fucking lying about it. I mean look at the Kimani shit.

You're right you do have a point but still why would he think it was ok for him to lie about some shit like that after that Kimani shit. I'm so fucking done with him Natalia if I find the fuck out he lied to me about this bitch again. I was so serious with him when I told his ass he has no more fuck ups left.

Well for his own sake I hope he didn't lie about the shit but it is hella fishy. I know he probably flipped when you told him to pack his shit.

Girl you know he did, he refuses to move. He's been staying at a hotel since that night.

Has he tried calling you?

Girl yah, he started blowing my ass up the next day so I put him on the block list.

I fell out laughing.

Your ass is a fucking trip Bee. Where is Nina?

Girl probably at work somewhere, I swear she lives there. I'm just so happy to finally see her blossoming back into her old self before she met Troy. She keeps trying to move out on me every week and I act like I'm made at her each time, I'm not ready for her to leave me yet.

We both started laughing.

We talked for another hour along with us promising to meet up tomorrow before we called it a night and headed our separate ways home.

                                                                                                               Nina

I felt around the bed for my phone with my eyes still closed trying to shut of my alarm. Tired was an understatement. My body felt like dead ass weight and all I wanted to do was sink deeper into the covers and continue to catch z's. I sat up in bed as I tried to pull myself together.

Today was the day that my father would be coming home. If I wasn't so damn tired I would be bubbling over from excitement. My sister and I have been counting down this day for 2 months and I could kick my own ass for working so late last night. I was going to make a mental notice to really look in to expanding my staff because I worked more hours now than I did before I owned my own shit. I finally peeled out of bed and did my everyday morning routine.

As I was putting my shoes on I heard a knock on the door. 

I knew it was my sister seeing if I was ready.

Come in.

I called out. When she came in I noticed we were kind of dressed similar.

Oh my gosh again Bee!

Twin minds think alike!

I started laughing.

Clearly. Girl you driving because my ass is gonna tip over before we make it to the car.

So you just gonna leave me hanging and go to sleep on this two hour ride.

Even if I wanted to my eyes are not gonna stay open.

You are the worst riding partner I tell you.

She said laughing.

Well I know what riding I am good at.

I said winking at her.

NINA OH MY GOSH! You are so fucking nasty, it's too early in the morning for this shit!

I couldn't help but die laughing at her. Whenever I would say something sexual out my mouth it was like my sister would turn into the littlest fly and be ready to fly the fuck out of dodge. The shit was so funny to me every time. I grabbed my bag and we headed to leave. In another two hours I would be seeing my father after nine years, it still didn't seem real.  

                                               *Two Hours Later*

I felt Lyyn nudge me which caused me to open my eyes. I blinked a couple of times to adjust my eyes to the sunlight as I looked around.

I already went in, dad should be coming out in a few minutes.

Why didn't you wake me up?

Bish you were hella snoring.

I started to laugh as we got out the car.

I was not!

Yes you were, mouth hella open and shit.

She started to illustrate while trying to keep from laughing which made me laugh harder.

As we continued to goof around we heard someone clear their voice making us stop immediately and look in their direction. Silence took over for what seemed like minutes instead of seconds.  

So y'all just going to stand there and stare at your old man?!

A smile spread across his face as we embraced him. He kissed the top of our heads as he hugged us tight.

I missed you girls so much!

We missed you to dad!

Lyyn and I both said in unison. It was crazy how he still looked the same as I remembered after all these years, he hadn't changed a bit.

You ready to go dad?

Yes, let's get the fuck from here. If I have to look at this place any longer imma fucking start to itch.

Lyyn and I started to laugh as we made our way to the car.

Lyyn this you baby girl! Look at you!

He was checking out her car. My father always since I could remember has been our number one fan. If nobody in this world wanted us to succeed my father did. We could bring home a brown paper bag covered in macaroni noodles and glitter that we decorated, he would make us feel like that shit belonged in the museum of fine arts.

Oh my gosh dad stop!

Hell nah, don't make me start yelling like I use to do at your dance meets.

I couldn't hold my laughter in anymore.

My girls are grown ass woman man, I don't know how to deal. My girls are out here balling, I am so proud of y'all. I don't care how old you guys are I will still be that embarrassing extra ass father cheering y'all on.

We know dad.

Just making sure y'all didn't forget that, now let's go because I have been dreaming about steak and string beans for nine damn years.

We bust out laughing as we got in the car, my father was still a fool.

Dad do you need to stop anywhere before we go to my house.

No but we are going to my house.

Lyyn and I looked over at him.

Your house?

Yes, my house.

He told her the address as she typed it into her GPS. When we arrived my sister and I was in awe. The outside alone was beautiful, I couldn't imagine the inside.

No dad seriously, who's house is this.

He chuckled a little.

It's mine NiNi.

But how? When you went away you and mom lived together, we were a family.

Didn't I always teach you never to put all your cookies in one jar?

Yes.

This was me not putting all mines in one jar NiNi. Yes we were a family but I knew what I was doing. I knew it was a chance that shit could go south and I knew deep down that your mother eventually wouldn't be there if shit happened. I don't blame her for not holding me down because she begged me time and time again to leave shit alone but I wouldn't. It wasn't about the money anymore, we had more than we could spend in a lifetime. I just got to a point where I was comfortable and that's when I should have cut shit. I'm still set for the rest of my life but I would give all this shit up to get back the years I missed with you guys.

Dad.........

Yes Lyyn?

Do you think y'all will get back together?

Honestly that's a question that's way in the water right now. Like I said, I don't blame your mother for not being there for me. Now everything else she did sets me on fire. Rell has told me bits and pieces of shit but I know it's way more to it. On top of her keeping y'all away from me, I don't know what type of shit your mother is on but I do know I don't want someone in my life like that.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before Lyyn broke it.

Well I'm ready to see your house dad!

Shit so am I, I barely remember it.

We got out laughing. Before we could get to the front door it opened, there stood a maid.

Welcome home Mr. Howard.

She said once we made it to the door.

Thank you Grace.

She smiled before she disappeared in the house.

Dad you have a damn maid, how and when?!

Lyyn started laughing at me.

Since yesterday.

He said winking before he walked inside. We explored this huge ass house until we made it back around to the kitchen where Grace was cooking.

My father excused himself to go take a shower and change. I looked at the food that Grace was preparing and frowned.

That shit didn't look good or done at all. I looked over to Lyyn and she was obviously thinking the same. I nicely excused Grace and told her she was finished for the day. I could tell she wanted to protest but decided it was best for her to not try me. She gathered her things and made her way out the door.

What the fuck is this?!

Lyyn was holding up a piece of chicken that Grace considered done and I couldn't help but to die laugh.  

Bish that shit is sick as fuck!

We doubled over in laughter.

Dad is gonna need to find another maid because this shit is fucking horrible yo. Who the fuck she thought was gonna eat this shit! I don't even see a hint of seasoning any where.

My fucking stomach hurt I was laughing so hard. We gathered up what we needed from the refrigerator to fix dinner and got started.

Another two hours later we were almost finished when my father came back down.

It smells good in here! Y'all ran Grace the fuck away?

Dad she was going to fuck your ass up!

I pointed to the chicken on the plate that she had considered cooked and he died laughing.

Y'all so got damn mean! Why y'all ain't help her ass out?

Dad I'm not helping no damn maid cook! You paying her ass all this money and you think imma help her learn how to cook? That's part of her damn job!

He continued to laugh at us and shake his head.  

Dad we gonna hire you somebody else because Grace ain't making the cut.

You girls are so damn mean...........

Before he could say anything else the door bell rang. He went to get it and came back with my brother in tow.

Oh gosh it just had to be you Ty'Rell!

Don't y'all start your shit today!

Whatever! Make yourself useful and help take some of this stuff to the dining room.

You see this dad? I haven't even been here five minutes and they already bossing me around!

Whelp, sucks for you son!

I stuck my tongue out at him and he mean mugged me but started grabbing shit like I told him.

That's why I hope your big headed ass trip and fall NiNi!

You're so damn evil Ty'rell!

My father chuckled as he listened at us going back and forth just like old times. When I came back into the kitchen I heard my phone ringing.

I didn't bother to look nor answer because I already knew who it was from the ringtone. That reminded me I needed to hurry and get everything I needed straighten out so I could change my number.

You're not gonna get that? This is the third time it has rang in the last two minutes.

I had blocked Troy's number but that wasn't enough for him. He now calls my phone from a private number.

It's nobody dad.

I tried to slip back out the kitchen but he wasn't having it.

Nina they are calling from private so it's somebody. I know I don't know shit about what's been going on in your life and that's a conversation we can save for another day but what I do know is I don't have a problem fucking somebody up for you, your sister, or your brother. I give no fucks when it comes to you guys and you know that. I won't press you right now but I know you been through some major shit with whoever is blowing you up. If that fucking phone rings one more time I am telling you I am going to answer it and make sure I find this motherfucker who can't get the picture. From here on out if a nigga is fucking with you or some shit happens you come and tell me. I don't care when, where or what time of day it is. Do you understand me?

Yes dad I understand.

With that he walked out of the kitchen. I hurried and grabbed my phone to turn it off.

I didn't want any drama or bullshit to pop off because off Troy's bitch ass and ruin this happy day for my family. I headed to the dining room to join them and took a seat. We laughed, joked, and brought up old memories the entire time through out dinner.

Afterwards we headed to the theater to watch some movies. 

I couldn't have asked for a better day with my family. After nine long years our dad was home and it felt like the missing chip was put back for all of us.

                                                                                                                   NaNa

Here I sat on a Saturday night stuffing my face with slices of pizza as I continued to watch the movie Get Out. I just couldn't understand this dude, why the hell did he continue to stick around. My ass would have been ghost as fuck soon as that bitch momma said she hypnotize people. She be trying to read your brain and see your memories in your sleep, no ma'am. Whatever happens to his ass is on him. He gonna act like shit wasn't alarming when he seen that dude running in the middle of the damn night, ninja that was your sign to get the fuck out! I was pulled out of my thoughts by the ringing of my phone.

I didn't bother to see who it was before I answered, by the ringtone I knew it was Nice.

Hello?

Oh no "Hey baby" today?

I rolled my eye like he could see me as I continued to watch the movie.

So your mean ass ain't gonna say shit?

I continued to ignore him which made him bust out laughing.

Ain't shit funny Nazar.

He laughed even harder which annoyed me more.

Damn you calling me my whole shit now, you that mad at me Na?

Whatever Nazar.

He chuckled.

Look you can be mad at me all your mean ass want but I don't care. I am making sure your hard headed ass does what your doctor tells you.

But it was just one damn day Nazar.

I know Na but I'm not taking no chances, besides you get off bedrest on Monday.

I sucked my teeth.

I missed my babes game today Nazar. I haven't missed a game since he started and you make me miss his last one.

"I missed my babes game".  

He said marking me.

You get on my damn nerves Nazar. You just mad because I'm not calling your ass my baby.

He once again started laughing.

That's why Major's ass so damn spoiled yo, you always babying him. I recorded it for your mean ass.

Whatever you know that's my baby and I can't wait to see it.

I bet.

He sounded hella jealous, now it was my turn to laugh.

I know your ass is not jealous Nazar?

When he didn't answer I continued to laugh.

Your ass is ridiculous.

Whatever him and Jaz always blocking trynna hold you all to themselves.

Although I was laughing I found it cute he didn't like to share me.

Aww baby stop it.

On the real though, is your ass in bed?

I'm on the couch Nazar.

Your ass is supposed to be in the bed Natalia not on the damn couch.

Oh my gosh come on Nazar I am sitting the hell down. Y'all gonna stop acting like I can't do shit because I'm pregnant. I wanted to sit up I can't lay in that bed all damn day.

Your ass so damn hard headed NaNa.

Ok your ass try being 5 months pregnant and feeling like you carrying two babies instead of one. Every time you lay down your ass can't get comfortable.

I'm not trying to stress you, I'm sorry Na.

That's what the fuck I thought.

I just want you two to be fine.

Baby we are fine, I would never do something to hurt our baby you know that.

I know Natalia. Did your mom leave for the night?

Yah, my grandmother needed her so I told her to go ahead I'd be fine.

Ok, I should be home in another hour or so. You know this damn bus take forever like shit.

I chuckled a little, he always complained about having to take the bus with the other parents and kids.

Ok.

I love you and my little mans.

There you go, you gonna stop calling my baby your mans.

I don't know how many times we gotta go through this, it's a boy.

You don't know that Nazar.

I do so he's my little mans.

I tell you he gets on my damn nerves.

Whatever, I love...........

Before I could finish what I was saying I heard a loud noise like glass had been shattered.

NaNa what the fuck was that?

I don't know but the shit sounded close as hell like it was one of the windows. I'm getting ready to see what the fuck it was, hold on.

I took the phone away from my ear but kept it in my hand as I got up.

I could hear Nice now calling my name through the phone. As I walked into the sitting room I noticed one of the windows had been completely shattered and there was glass all over the floor.

What the fuck!

Instantly my blood started to boil. This was nobody's doing but Taysha's fucking ass. I am so fucking sick of this bitch ass hoe. It was like because she knew she couldn't whoop my ass she started to do dumb shit to try to fuck with me. I guess she got tired of getting her ass beat. Before I could answer Nice back a man appeared out of nowhere scaring the shit out of my ass making me scream and drop my phone.

When he saw me start backing away he came at me full speed. Before I knew it I felt an excruciating pain rip through my abdomen.

It took for me to see the knife to fully register that he was stabbing me. I couldn't scream or talk. I could barely breathe as I dropped to my knees and he took off running.

I started to crawl to reach my phone but with ever move I could feel the blood gushing from my stomach.

Tears started rolling down my face because I knew I was losing my baby. I knew he or she wasn't going to make it and it was a strong possibility I wasn't either. The harder I cried the more I couldn't breathe. Before I knew it my body started to completely shut down and I couldn't do anything.

Previous

[rofics]

Hidden Omega (Part 51)

Fandom: Bts (Got7 + Big Bang + B.A.P + Monsta X + Seventeen + Block B+Vixx+TVXQ+Exo) Who doesn’t love a good ensemble Pairing:  Namjoon x Everybody Genre: Smut/Fluff/Angst Au: Canon / Omegaverse au Length: 4.5k (I know… so much!

Chapter 1 ! Previous Chapter ! Next Chapter !

Summary:

Namjoon and Jongup spend some time together, get their hair dyed and Namjoon find Yongguk in a position he didn’t expect

When Namjoon came back to the B.a.p dorm he didn’t expect anybody to be there. He had left his studio after sending a text to Hakyeon to reschedule with Jungkook and quickly catch him up on what happened with Jiyong so he knew what was wrong if Jungkook was acting weirdly. At first he wanted to write to Jungkook himself, but he was worried that he might just make Jungkook’s guilt worse and that it was better for him to be told by the Vixx leader face to face.

The dorm was dark and dormant when he arrived, but that was okay as Namjoon yawned lightly. Doctor Choi had warned him that he in general would feel tired a lot more after starting practice and gym again, and that it was better for him to listen to his body and actually sleep.

That was how Namjoon ended up napping on the couch, untold hours later when he woke up to a strong thigh under his face. A soft hand is petting his hair while the scent of bergamot filled his nose in soft waves of calmness. “Jongup?” Namjoon mumbled sleepily.

“Yongguk said it was best to let you sleep. He went back to the studio and the rest is still busy for today.” Namjoon opened his eyes tiredly looking up at the blonde alpha who was smiling shyly down at him. “I just meant to put a pillow under your head so you wouldn’t hurt your neck, but you seemed to sleep more calmly with people around you.”

Not for the first time Namjoon thought that the universe had been very random when it assigned B.a.p with sub genders. The shy, sweet and tiny dancer Jongup was an alpha while way way to tall and teasing Junhong an omega. Peaceful and nice Himchan who would have done much better as an omega was an beta, but then in the end did it really matter? Everybody seemed happy in their sub gender.

“Thank you. I struggle with sleeping alone… abandonment issues… I have gotten used to sleeping near alphas. That is why I left last night… I’m sorry.”

Jongup just bopped his nose with a thing finger. “It’s okay, it wasn’t like you left me alone I had Youngjae.” Both smiled at each other, Jongup shyly and Namjoon sleepily until Jongup spoke up. “Since we are alone, do you wanna spend some time together?” His voice was a little hesitant like he wasn’t sure that it was something Namjoon wanted to.

Namjoon smiled at him eyes closed, content with how Jongup was petting him softly. Namjoon had ever really seen himself as somebody who needed physical contact, but the more he settled into his omeganess and embraced how everybody seemed to be happy to give it to him, the more content he became. And Jongup was really good at petting his touch was hard enough to scratch his scalp, but still soft enough to not hurt him. “I would like to.”

Jongup pulled up a strand of his galaxy dyed hair. “I need to go and got my roots bleached, and you desperately either need the color pulled out or a new dye job… Wanna go?”

That made Namjoon wake up. He hadn’t been feeling lately his roots were showing and the color had paled badly. Already before he went to the hospital he had needed a dye job badly and this seemed to be the cue to do it. Forcing himself to sit up and let the alpha’s hand leave his hair. “Good idea.” He smiled widely, he loved the feeling of new dyed hair.

Also… he kinda needed a new start like that. For him dye jobs were a new start, it was something that he always felt better after a while. Yes this was not approved by his stylist so this was even better. “Can we go now?” He was eager.

Jongup laughed a little. “Yes, I have already booked a time for me, and if we ask nicely they will have time for you as well! Do you want the same color again, it was pretty on you.”

Namjoon just shook his head. “I liked the galaxy, but I want a new start… if that’s okay?”

The younger just laughed. “As long as it isn’t your debut hair style I will support you in anything. Because that was tragic and not the good kind of tragic.” Jongup was already up gathering his things. He hated going and getting his hair dyed alone, but the rest had went when he had been a baby and stayed to sleep instead because he was tired.

Both idols were eager to reach the salon, hoods up as the walked the cold winter streets huddled together to fight the cold. Jongup looked over at his companion who was lightly humming along to last years Big Bang song they both listened to in their shared headphones.

He had been the one most hesitant to agree with the courting of Namjoon. It wasn’t because he had any negative thoughts about the newly presented omega, but it was in his nature to be hesitant and a little shy. He had met and talked with Namjoon before, but he wasn’t a close personal friend with him like Junhong, Yongguk, and Himchan were.

They hadn’t pressure him or anything like that, they had brought it up and asked his opinion about it. Had he said no, nobody would have even questioned it they would have accepted his opinion and choice.

But he hadn’t said no, he had agreed to trying it out. There were multiple reasons for that. While yes they were balanced in subgenders he also wanted to give it a chance that Namjoon would fit with them. He knew that he as a person would be a good fit and while they might not ‘need’ him, he could do well with them. And then he wanted to do right by Namjoon, the older idol had always been kind to him and around him. He deserved a lot better than the hand he had been dealt and that better could be them.

The thing was that Jongup hadn’t expected to ever be like this, with Namjoon next to him softly humming along to loser. The alpha was pretty sure that was why they all wanted Namjoon to at least consider them. After he went to Got7 first they almost expected him to stay. Not because he was mean or anything like that, but because Namjoon was now an omega who had gone through way too much shit.

It wasn’t wrong or unthinkable that he very likely could have stayed with Got7, they were the ones that he had spent the most time with. There was a very real chance that Namjoon even if it wasn’t the right pack for him would stay since his omega would be desperate to belong.

A small smile formed on Jongup’s lips as he looked at Namjoon almost falling over his own long legs and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to grab Namjoon’s much bigger hand intertwining his fingers with the omegas.

All that didn’t matter and maybe they shouldn’t have doubted that Namjoon would give chances to everybody. He was committed to his words, and while Jongup hoped that Namjoon would choose them, He had a feeling that even if he didn’t he would still help them in ways he couldn’t describe, but hopefully he picked them he would be good with them.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling a little at the  mid thought facial expression Jongup was wearing flashing his dimples to the young a light blush spreading on his cheeks as Namjoon just thought ‘he is cute like this’.

He had expected Jongup to lead him to a stylist at his company or something like that. But instead he had lead Namjoon to a smaller salon not far from the dorm. The salon was almost empty other than an older lady sitting in a corner with dye in her hair and an alpha in his late twenties standing at the desk texting.

At the sight at the green haired alpha Jongup let go of Namjoon’s hand to instantly yell out. “Hyuuuuung!” The older male only just managed to step out from behind his desk before Jongup had jumped him arms and legs wrapped around him. “Jongup-ah? You are early!”

The male was not somebody Namjoon had ever seen before clearly not an idol or anything like that. He was tall reaching Namjoon in height if not more and a cat like build with a soft mouth in an easy smile. The scent of what he was almost sure was cherry coke, his arms were wrapped right under Jongup’s bum to make sure the younger alpha didn’t tumble to the ground.

Namjoon didn’t need to be able to see Jongup’s face to know that the younger was grinning like a hyena. “Namjoon woke up earlier than I expected!” He jumped down and pointed towards Namjoon eagerly, “Joonie this is Minsoo! He is my brother!”

Namjoon didn’t actually know that Jongup had siblings, but then again he should have expected it. It was very unlikely to not have any siblings, packs needed to have a lot of kids just to replace themselves. The South Korean government was pushing for more to insure that the population wouldn’t stop growing like it had in countries like Japan. Namjoon personally wasn’t close to any of his pack siblings, it wasn’t that he didn’t like them or there were bad blood between them, it was simply normal to grow apart.

When he thought about it made sense from a biological part, as you tested new packs and joined your own it would be way too much social overload if you had to be close to your siblings and their packs as well. Then starting to know you packmates family packs. So many people!

But saying that, there were still people like Jongup who stayed close to a few of their siblings, and seeing Minsoo’s fond look at the younger alpha it was clear that he also adored his younger brother. “Oh, from BTS right? I like your guys music a lot, one of my mates is a massive fan. I heard you presented as an omega you are looking healthier than the pictures she showed us.”

Namjoon couldn’t help but blush a little at the comment, sometimes when he meet people it was still hard for him to understand that they ‘knew’ him that they were invested in his health and wellbeing. Also they didn’t have that many alpha fans so it was nice, he smiled as wide as he could to the male dimples popping, “Thank you, it’s nice to meet some of Jongup’s family.”

Jongup smiled at Namjoon, he liked how Namjoon was always nice to people and he was also very likeable especially by people older than him. It had to be a leader thing Yongguk was the same. “We are courting him now!” He on purpose hadn’t told his brother about it before, he didn’t want to talk about just for it to never happen.

Minsoo cocked his head slightly to the side. “I think you guys have a thing for tall omegas. I’m for you guys, but Namjoon if this one tells you that playing World of Warcraft for 12 hours straight is normal he is lying, and the rest of the pack is way too soft on him.”

Minsoo was not allowed to speak  any more as Jongup, having to go to the tip of his toes to reach, covered Minsoo’s mouth. “No they love me and respect my life choices. Don’t listen to him Namjoon! He is a dirty liar! EEEEW! YOU LICKED ME!”

Namjoon had to cover his mouth to try and hold in his giggle. He was right Jongup was cute cute little alpha. “I will keep that in mind.” Jongup pouted and it made both Namjoon and his brother laugh just causing him to pout more.

“See if I ever introduce you to my friends again!”

“So you are going to leave your hair and your friends hair to stylists who care more for the look than the health of it?” Minsoo raised a green eyebrow, and that was when Namjoon noticed that his green hair is kept in a loose braid on his back looked very… healthy. Something you rarely saw in the idol industry. Now that he thought about it, all of B.a.p were blonde, but their hair was actually healthy. Namjoon now started to understand why Jongup had taken him here.

“Do you do all of the guys hair?”

Minsoo nodded already pushing an eager Jongup into a chair. “Yeah, started with just doing this ones, but as the pack formed I couldn’t let my brothers mates destroy their hair and go bald now could I? It would make him very sad.”

“Ery sad.” Jongup mumbled, having stolen a lollipop from the desk before sitting in his chair, cheek now puffed out like a squirrel. “We even got management to offer him a stylist job but he doesn’t want it!”

The older brother just laughed lightly while checking the ends of Jongup’s hair. “I like my place here, and you guys coming to me gives you a little bit of free space as well. Plus I want nothing to do with idol life. I seen how they treated you guys. I don’t need that.”

Jongup clearly tried to pout, but the lollipop in his mouth made it impossible for him so he just bloated up his cheeks more in his best squirrel way. “Do you have time to dye Namjoon’s hair as well?”

“Of course, I expected you to bring somebody. You have the same inability to go anywhere alone like a small puppy,” Minsoo had moved over to mix up some bleach, “let me put this in the baby’s hair and then we can look at yours.”

“I’m not a baby! It’s not my fault everybody is stupidly tall!” But his voice was still light, showing that he wasn’t actually mad.

As Minsoo spread the bleach over the roots of Jongup’s hair making light comments about it’s condition and small talk while doing it. Namjoon was happy just sitting in his own chair watching the two brothers. It was kinda cute how Minsoo babied his younger brother.

When the green haired hairdresser finished covering Jongup’s roots, he went over to Namjoon. “What do you want to do? A complete change or a redye?”

Namjoon perched his lips thinking. “I… I kinda want a new start, but I also really like this color I think it fits me.”

Minsoo was rubbing Namjoon’s ends between his fingers. “What about grape? It would look good with your skintone. I have been trying to convince Daehyun to get that color forever. It would be close to what you have now, but still different enough that it would be a new change.”

He didn’t have to think much about it as he nodded. “Yeah… I would like that.” He trusted this guy if he said it would look good on him, plus Jongup was nodding eagerly along clearly having faith in his brother.

When the dye was in their hair and both were set to wait while Minsoo went to the older lady fixing up her hair. Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from reaching over to hold Jongup’s hand it always surprised him when people did nice things like this for him.

Jongup smiled at him lollipop long gone as he instead of taking Namjoon’s hand instead played with his fingers as Namjoon smiled at him. “Thank you for taking me here, it means a lot to me. I know we don’t know each other that well.”

Jongup cocked his head a little to the side. “That is one of the reasons I asked you to join me here. I wanted us to spend some time together. I don’t spend days in a studio hiding from the world like you guys do, and I doubt you want to join me in the dance studio. So I wanted to find something we both either had to do or wanted to do. So I came up with this,” he shrugged a little, “I hoped you would like it.”

“If you had asked me to join you in the dance studio I would have agreed, I might not love dance and am not amazingly good at it, but it is something that matters a lot to you so I would do it for you, but yeah I needed this. I kinda hated how my hair looked.” Namjoon giggled a little as Jongup followed the lines on his palm… it tickled.

“To be nice I want to say that it looked pretty, but we both know that would be a lie.” Jongup joined Namjoon in giggling. While Namjoon normally struggled with alphas, especially the first few times, but there seemed to be no problems with Jongup he hadn’t even flinched once as he was now exploring the visible bones in his wrist. Instead his inner omega keened under the younger alpha’s touch.

Their serene silence was broken as Namjoon’s phone went off. He had forgotten to mute it after messaging Hakyeon earlier, the tone also known as the first few tones from death march indicated that it was Seungri. Three quick texts after each other made Namjoon grip for the phone with his free hand only to be greeted with 2 different pictures of Seungri’s face and the question was which one was better.

While Jongup clearly hadn’t tried to look at his phone, it was almost impossible to miss when he maximized the pictures, and it was clear that he wanted to ask a question, but wasn’t sure how to so instead he just looked at Namjoon.

The older omega gave Jongup a soft smile. “You can ask questions it’s okay.” He knew that it was normal to be curious! It was Big Bang, a group most idol groups looked up to not only for their success, but the fact that next year they would be celebrating 10 years together without anybody leaving. Something that almost no groups ever reached. He knew that Jongup would have to be curious after he texted B.a.p that Jiyong had been by his studio.

Jongup looked relieved like he could finally say all the thought he had thought about. “What are the like? As people?”

For people who weren’t idols it might seem like a weird question, but for Namjoon it made sense without a question. Many idols put on a character or a mask when showing to the public. It wasn’t to lie about who you were, but to hope that you might survive with your mental state intact. He thought over the question, it was valid and it made him think, how were the really?  His first instinct was to say… nice, but that might not cover it.

“Seungri-hyung is nothing like I expected. He still has the variety personality energetic and stuff like that. He is the type to split everything up to 10 different texts instead of one big one, but he is also weirdly serious in ways that he hides. He runs so many different things that isn’t just being an idol. It is clear that it is really hurting him that he isn’t allowed or given the chance to do music like the rest are. So he bottles it all up and does his best to succeed in other areas as to prove that he is worth something. He is disturbingly good at noticing if something is wrong, not just in voice, but if I am feeling bad but try to hide it he still guesses it. His scent is candy apples. A weird combination of his soft side as a soft alpha and the sourness of apples that is his alpha and personality.” Namjoon bit his lip a little absentmindedly, it was the best way he could describe Seungri.

“Daesung-hyung is actually just like his screen personality for the main point. Other than he has an addiction to those big homemade emojis and seems to be able to have conversations only in those. I didn’t expect him to be so… omega. I don’t mean that in a bad way! He is just so… soft and nice, when I talk with him on the phone he seems to be able to diffuse a mood with just a word. He is kind and tiny! He is so short in person, so is Jiyong-hyung! I know that there were a lot of talk about the fact that their official height was a lie and even with big insoles they were still really short, but I never expected it to be like this!” Jongup was just looking at Namjoon with eager eyes taking everything in.

“I haven’t talked to TOP-sunbaenim, but I talked to Jiyong-hyung today, he is… scary. No scary isn’t the right word intimidating. He seems to be able to swap on and off the G Dragon persona. He is a lot nicer when he is just being himself, very insightful as well, and he seems to even after all the success still feels like he has to prove something. But he is clearly also very protective of his pack. It is clear that they mean more than everything to him and he would burn down to world for them. Oh and his scent is this sweet chili soup. It his the creaminess of delicious jigae that make your tastebuds drool and want to be near it, but then there is the sharpness of chili to keep you aware that he could and would fuck you up.” Namjoon perched his lips again thinking of the last Big Bang member not sure how he would describe Youngbae.

“Youngbae-hyung is different. I can’t explain it but he has this calming effect on me. Not just him as a person but his scent. Out of the scent dolls I have,  his calms me the most. When he speaks and explains stuff it is like it puts a calming filter over the chaos of a mind.” He got frustrated a little, because Namjoon was good with words. It was one of the few things he was actually good at! But why was it that on this topic, explaining people he seemed to fail? He couldn’t explain his inner omega’s reaction to Youngbae.

Luckily Jongup who had presented more than two weeks ago was there to help. “That is not abnormal. There are people who are able to calm people by either their scent or speech pattern, it is an ability to feel if people are unstable. Jaehyo from Block B is an omega like that. Yixing is an beta like that.”

That made Namjoon look at him with gaping mouth. “Yixing?”

Jongup laughed softly. “You never noticed before? I have even see him doing it with you. I can’t even remember the award show, but you had to do a speech in English and you were slowly looking like you were falling apart. We were actually talking about who should help you since no one from BTS looked to be doing anything, he put a hand on your shoulder and you relaxed instantly without even talking with each other.”

Now that Jongup was saying it Namjoon could remember it. Back then he had really just set it as oh my god physical contact from somebody oh my god, please tell me Got7 is coming home soon because I am actually on my way to a mental break down. But then he remembered Yixing’s scent of Chamomile in the air. Oh god Jongup was right. “Are there other idols like that?” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from asking, he had never even thought about it before.

Jongup looked to be thinking for a moment before he spoke up. “There are a lot. Krystal from F(x), Kikwang from Beast, uhm… either Kibum or Henry from Super Junior don’t quote me on that one, Chanwoo from iKon, the tiny one with the abs from Astro. Not the tiny young one but the tiny older one. There are probably more, but that is the one I can remember from the top of my head. I never knew Taeyang was one, but then again it isn’t often you see them interact with non YG groups.”

Namjoon thought about it for a second, he didn’t really know any of the mentioned people very well. The closets he knew was Chanwoo but after his… issues… with Bobby he had stayed away from the rest of iKon and winner. “Well the more you know it seems!”

The rest of their hair dye trip went fairly well. They had light chats about everything from Jongup’s excitement of the new World of Warcraft expansion and something about escaping from the ‘garrison hell’ whatever that meant to talk about Namjoon’s failure at learning dance routines.

They left the salon, where Namjoon did get a hug from a very happy Minsoo who seemed very happy with how Namjoon’s hair had turned out. Namjoon had to agree after a blow dry his hair fell in soft purple grape strands around his face, complementing his skin tone while making him look a lot softer than normal… something that he really liked. He also received a strict order on what hair products to used after being told that their should be enough at the B.a.p dorm for him so not to worry about.

Jongup looked nice as well with his roots dyed and hair fluffy after a blow dry, even though Namjoon had to admit he was weak for the blonde hair dark roots that he sported before. The full blond made him look a lot softer.

As they went back to the dorm again with their hands locked in each other, Namjoon was absentmindedly texting as Himchan trying to figure out if everybody was home, and if they needed to pick food up or anything like that. A text came back to Namjoon that if they could pick up Yongguk in the studio instead, since the silly goose had his phone muted AGAIN, it would be nice, problem was that the studio was in the other end and Jongup was already yawning even if he was trying to hide it from Namjoon trying is best to be alphaish.

Namjoon just giggled and stopped them leaning over and kissing Jongup on the forehead. “Go home you had dance all of today. I just need to quickly grab Yongguk.”

“You don’t want me to go with you?” Jongup couldn’t hide the second yawn as he pouted

Namjoon shook his head. “I don’t think I can carry you home when you fall asleep. Go home nap or help the rest with the food there isn’t that long to the studio and somebody has to pick up your dear leader,”

For a second it looked like Jongup wanted protest, but he just sighed before perching his lips weirdly. “I want a real kiss first then.”

Alpha’s had no right to be that cute and Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from blushing a little as he bowed down to press a swift kiss to the youngers chapped lips. Jongup didn’t seem happy at how fast the kiss was. “I want an actual real kiss when you guys get back.”

“If you are still awake when I get back then okay.” Namjoon teased, but it seemed to settle Jongup as he just stuck his tongue out before turning to walk the last 150 meters home calling behind him.

“Be careful! Don’t get kitty-napped!”

Namjoon didn’t answer him, just giggled a little making his way to the studio. The air was cold and he had to hide his hands in his hoodie missing Jongup’s warm hand in his own. But his pace was quick so it didn’t take him long to get to the building and finding the studio he had hid in with Yongguk and other people many times before.

As he opened the door he dropped his phone that he had been clutching as he looked into the room.“YONGGUK!?”

_____________

So I have decided since a lot of you don't know that much about B.a.p I would do a quick recap of important things.

B.a.p also known as Best Absolute Perfect or as I call them. The group with the standing record of how many members they can kill in MV's

Debuted in 2012 same year as Exo and were originally actually seen as the real competition to Exo going against each other for Rookie of the year (Which they both lost fun fact).

In late 2013 they filed a lawsuit against their company after getting treated like shit, like... SM are almost angels compared to how B.a.p were treated. The reason they waited so long was that they wanted Zelo to reach 18 so they could all join in the lawsuit and not leave Zelo to still be under company control.

Lawsuit lasted for 9-10 months in which they lost almost all of their popularity (Before the lawsuit they were just if not more popular than Exo) and are to this day still fighting to regain that momentum.

They are well known for often switching up their music style and their mv's can be very grim and deep sometimes.

Things important to know about some of the members referenced to in the story.

Last year Yongguk went on a hiatus due to mental health issues

Netizens has always treated Himchan (The visual) like shit and there has been petitions to remove him from b.a.p due to his weight (Being to high), and at some point his weight was so low many actual fans got worried.

Daehyun get's shit for being dark skinned.

Junhong was known as the original golden maknae also nicknamed '15 year old genius' originally training with YG. He is a very skilled dancer, rapper and helps with the producing/writing... oh and he is a giant.

Music I would recommend:

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8Pwejfz0rI">Warrior!</a> Their debut song, and to this day my favorite B.a.p song... In this story they are all blonde in tribute to this all blonde debut.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zRzl1d5vNU">One shot!</a> The original kpop video where members kill's members, to this day I'm still not sure of the storyline... if you get it please explain it to me.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VEZuvy0-cc">Skydive</a> 10 minute mv / short film, everybody looks good and B.a.p serving up some more angst and dark concept.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ku_FYERiHC8">Wake me up</a> A social commentary on the current state of the world, extremely diverse mv.

And if you have spotify, Dystopia from the Rose mini album it's b track, but it's amazing

Authors note:

So yeah... I hope you guys liked that...

So I have a few little things I want to say here. If you want more Hidden Omega verse, I have released a few stories in my break.

You want more Vixx and Jungkook including finally a smut scene between Wonshik and Jungkook, I wrote an 8k story for that HERE I hope you guys like it... I liked it.

I wrote the third chapter of my SHINee story in the Hidden Omega verse, this time with Minho focus, which can be found HERE!

I wrote the third chapter of my why sm is the devil story, which is basically a compilation of all the ways SM Fucked over their groups, this time with focus on Kris and Tao can be found HERE!

_________________________________

Okay I am done pimping my own stories out now, I hope you guys are still willing to read after this break and I hope you liked this chapter <3

Chapter 1 ! Previous Chapter ! Next Chapter !

[930club]

ART BLANCHE: Relaxer

One day while scrolling through his Twitter feed, alt-J’s Thom Green stumbled upon something that caught his eye. At first glance, he wasn’t sure what it was, exactly. It was an image, sure, but a fairly abstract one at that. 

Thom was intrigued. This was exactly the sort of thing he was on Twitter for.

“I really like Twitter and Tumblr and Instagram for the sheer factor of how much access you have to imagery, really,” Thom explained. “I really like just scrolling through [them]. ...I often find images that I want to be involved with or do something with, [but] I don’t know quite what. Usually I end up using them for like my Twitter picture -- I change my Twitter picture every day because I like using images for things.”

This particular image came to Thom’s attention courtesy of a man named Oliver Leach, and his Twitter account, @BAKKOOONN, that Thom followed because “he regularly posts images -- quite interesting images -- that he’s made or that he’s found.”

It came at a perfect time, added Thom, because alt-J were in the need of an album cover for their upcoming record, Relaxer (out June 2nd), and Thom was sold that this was it.

alt-J - Relaxer (Courtesy of alt-J)

“I contacted [Oliver] saying that I thought that it was a piece of work that he had made... I was getting prepared to be like, ‘Can we please buy this image off you?’” Thom said.

Oliver responded, explaining that it wasn’t his image, but rather a still image from a game called LSD Dream Emulator.

“I’ve never heard of the game, never played it,” Thom said. “So I looked into it and our management got into contact with the designer of the game and asked if we could use it. He was totally happy for us to use it. He’s a Japanese visual artist… I think his name is Hiroko Nishikawa. He was really excited because he really likes the band and he was really flattered that we wanted to use the image.”

Born from the dreams of Hiroko Nishikawa, LSD Dream Emulator was a PlayStation game released in Japan in 1998 that has since developed a cult following. During gameplay, the player simply walks around, experiencing visuals inspired by a dream diary Hiroko kept over the span of 10 years. Despite the game’s limited initial reach and abstract concept, it features some very relatable aspects for a gamer like Thom. Most notably: the unmistakable visual style of ‘90s video games.

“I’m a massive fan of computer games and I recognize computer game imagery -- you know, it’s quite distinct imagery,” Thom said. “I used to play PlayStation 1 but I’ve never played this game. [The art] drew me in, I think the red and the black work really well together. It’s really an attractive image. I think a lot of people might think: ‘What the f*ck is that?’”

That last part comes from personal experience. In fact, it wasn’t until Thom showed his bandmates the image that he was even aware of everything that was going on in it.

“The red figure on the floor, I didn’t notice that to be a body to begin with, I just kinda thought it was an abstract shape, really -- maybe a puddle or something like that. And it was Gus (Unger-Hamilton) that pointed out that it was a body,” Thom said. “When editing the image for the cover, we removed [the body] to see what it would look like because originally we weren’t too into the idea of it being a dead body -- it would just have too much symbolism that didn’t relate to anything [in the record]. So we took it out and then realized that it actually works much better with it in it, it kinda ties the image together, really.” 

By far, Relaxer has the darkest cover of alt-J’s three records, and intentionally so. During the process of thinking about the album’s artwork, Thom was leaning towards something darker than before. Ironically enough, Thom explained, Relaxer “[is] not a dark album. A lot of people say it’s quite bright, it sounds like a fun album -- which it was to make.”

The darkness of Relaxer’s art wasn’t the only notable stylistic change from the first two record covers -- this album also marks the first time that alt-J have put any text on the cover of their records. In doing so, they didn’t just stop at listing the album’s title, but chose to add the entire tracklist to the front cover as well, a much less commonplace decision.

alt-J - “In Cold Blood” (Courtesy of alt-J)

“It came around when we were putting the imagery together for the album with our kinda art director. He kinda has everything up on his monitor… [and] I think Gus might’ve said ‘Let’s see what it looks like with the logo with Relaxer up there.’ I think because, you’re right, it’s not seen that often, I think older albums, like older records used to do that or singles... I quite like how uniform it is, kinda structured. I think because the font works so well it was just like ‘Why not?’ It was definitely a deliberate decision and we were aware that we hadn’t done that before. The first two albums, we thought there wasn’t really a place for the title or the name on the cover and we didn’t want to just put it on there for the sake of it. They’re so abstract -- the two other images -- that I think they work as an image alone.”

Going forward, the band is excited by the opportunities that this stylistic change presents. For Thom, things like merch and their live setup immediately jumped to mind.

“Using different colors for merch and the live show and things like that I think is good -- it would be a bit crap to not think about that. For the live show it’s really, one of the first things I thought was this computer game and the game itself was based around kinda random images, I think it will work really well live if we can figure it out.”

alt-J - “3WW” (Courtesy of alt-J)

Already, alt-J have embraced LSD Dream Emulator in a myriad of different ways for Relaxer’s rollout. Artwork for the singles “3WW” and “In Cold Blood” as well as a teaser video for the album and interactive web game have all featured images pulled from LSD. Because the band hasn’t yet had a chance to play the game, finding the images has required an inventive approach.

“We found a database of images from the game that somebody’s compiled and we kinda sifted through them and [suggested images].” On top of that, Thom explained, “There’s a guy at our label who had to play it to get an idea of what to use for the trailer videos or things like that and we played it for a week apparently. It’s pretty cool, I like the premise of it -- it’s really hard to find the same image twice because it’s all randomly generated.”

That said, despite a lot of thought about it, Thom isn’t quite ready to dip his toe in LSD’s waters just yet.

“We actually watched a lot of the footage that’s on YouTube and it makes me quite anxious -- it’s quite intense,” he said, laughing.

“I think that the game… within the game the higher you are, the more abstract the world becomes and yeah, it’s like, it’s quite weird,” he said, adding, “You can get an emulator -- you can get an emulator for anything nowadays -- I’ll download it on my laptop and have a look. Maybe one day. Or get a PS1 -- that’d be cool.”

-Dylan Singleton

alt-J play Merriweather Post Pavilion on July 27 - tickets available here.

Preorder Relaxer here.

[artificialqueens]

"Ugly" Chapter [3/?] (Witney) - Queenie

AN: Willam is facing his demons…well, some of them, Courtney gets her hair done and Alaska may or may not make an appearance. Anyways, I’m not good at these so I just hope ya’ll enjoy the chapter :)

-Willam-

“Ant, what’s goin on? I haven’t heard from you in days”, I flop down onto my couch and turn the speakerphone on, placing my cell down onto the coffee table as I flip through a tabloid „I thought you were dead.“

„Well I could have been, bitch, that night had me reconsider many life choices.“, he laughs „Like becoming friends with you, asshole.“

„Took you long enough.“, I joke and toss the magazine next to my phone onto the table.

„You realise who your real friends are, when you disappear for a few days and nobody calls to check on you.“

He is still joking around but I can’t help but feel a sting of guilt for not checking in on him.

„Doesn’t matter though“, he continues lightly „I’m alive and well. Also I’ve been more concerned with your whereabouts. If I hadn’t been to your flat to check if Warner was still alive and seen that his bowls had been filled recently I would be on my way to report your inconsiderate ass missing right now.“

„You also opened my mail, you dog.“

„Yeah…sorry `bout that. Just wanted to make sure you weren’t involved in anything illegal“, there is a pause and I can hear heavy breathing and a door slamming „More illegal than the ususal stuff I mean.“

„Find anything interesting?“, I cast a glance at the huge pile of mostly unopened mail on the little stand next to my front door. Reading mail usually resulted in me having to spend the night drinking to forget about all the red numbers spinning in my head.

„I saw that we have to go celebrate tonight.“

I raise an eyebrow as I get up and move over to the kitchen with the vague intention of making coffee.  „And why is that? Did I happen to win the lottery without even playing?“

“Something like that…wait”, Ant says, half laughing in disbelief „Do you really not know what I mean?“

“I wouldn’t ask if I did now, would I?”, I shot back, slightly annoyed that he wouldn’t just spit it out.

“No girl, but this is insane!” he clears his throat. „Will, you’re going on tour!“

“Bitch, how much did you smoke today? It’s not even noon.”

„I’m not joking! Look at your god damn mail, I left the envelope on top. You’re gonna freak, girl!“, he yells through the speaker and I raise my hands in defeat, even though he can’t see it.

„Whoa, calm down.“, unwillingly I leave the kitchen and pick up the large cream colored envelope. It’s obviously been opened and its contents are crinkled as if they‘ve been stuffed back into it without great care. I pull out two official looking pages of paper and immediately notice the small logo printed on the head of the letter reading ‘COLUMBIA‘.

„Is this what I think it fucking is? Holy shit!“, now I’m yelling, too, hurriedly scanning the paper.

               „…Miss Belli…pleased to tell you…evaluation of your work…the label decided…joining the worldwide tour…awaiting your answer…“

„It’s crazy that they want me now!“

„I know! How did you not know?“, Ant is freaking out and I can imagine him sitting in his upstairs bedroom shivering with excitement. „And how fucking cool is it, that it’s Courtney’s tour of all people?!“

I freeze. Surely I’d heard him wrong.

„Excuse me?“

Ant turns silent suddenly, and I stare at the phone across the room, waiting.

“Anthony? Who is it I’m going on tour with?” My voice is harsher now, and my fist tightens around the envelope in my hand, crumpling it.

“It’s Courtney, Will.” Ant says with a sigh as if he’s explaining a basic math equation, “You know, the one who’s gettin‘ the coin now?”

The envelope slides from my hand and onto the floor, and I fly over to the phone, grabbing it off the table and taking it off speaker. I‘m breathing heavily into the phone, listening to Ant, telling me to calm down.

“Why?!” I shout, “Why her? Why now?!”

“What’s it to you? Have you seen how much they wanna pay you, girl? You’ll never have to work a day in your life again.” Ant speaks quickly, hoping to get it all out without me interrupting him with screams or cussing. Apparently he isn’t fully grasping how much I can’t do this and It’s making me furious.

„Ant listen to me!“ I growl into the speaker. „Courtney Act is the last person I want to spend months and months travelling the world with, no matter the pay! You know what she fucking did to me, how can you even think I would agree to this shit?!“

“I’m sorry, girl. What can I do? I thought you needed the money, I read your mail.” He doesn’t sound remotely sorry. Typical.

I find myself sitting back down slowly, pulling the phone from my ear and letting it drop onto the couch. I don’t even say goodbye, I don’t know what to say.

What happened yesterday with that blonde girl and Courtney on the radio, it must have been a warning sign. I should have taken it more seriously, paid more attention. I should have made it clear to everyone that I don’t want to see her ever again. Maybe Ant would have thrown the letter out before I’d gotten the chance to read it.

I just can’t do it. I’d have to see her after all this time, look her in the eyes, smile for pictures with her, pretend that we’re friends and that everything will be okay.

But it won’t be, because she broke all her promises to me, and I will never forgive her for that.

-Courtney-

“I don’t know about this.” I sigh, closing my eyes and feeling hands tug at my hair and brushes swipe across my face in unison. I‘m so used to this everyday that I‘ve fallen asleep many times in the make-up chair. My stylists are so great that they could get me ready while I‘m laying down, drooling on myself.

“What are you so worried about?” My hair stylist Delta asks and drains my head in hairspray once again. She is the only person I trust near my precious blond hair.

“Things didn’t end well with us, our last conversation was all yelling and screaming.” I shake the memories out of my head, opening my eyes back up and looking upwards, feeling my make-up artist, a tall man named Sutan, apply liner onto my waterline.

“Maybe you should call her before you see her.” Delta says, her voice raspy. She has huge boobs and hair the color of a red velvet cupcake, her attitude is always sarcastic on the verge to bitchy. I had loved her instantly the minute she’d almost fainted because of the poor condition my hair had been in before she’d gotten her fingers on it, and now I consider her one of my closest friends.

“And say what?” I laugh, holding my phone to my ear mockingly. “Oh hey Will, can’t wait to see you and have lots of tension with you!”

Delta and Sutan exchange a look and a smirk, “You mean sexual tension.”

My smile falters slightly and I shake my head, lowering the phone. “I doubt it.”

Delta laughs, “Yeah, right!“

“Okay, yeah! Sex was something we were really good at, but that doesn’t change the fact that she hates me and thinks I fucked her over or whatever.” I shrug, fiddling with the rings on my fingers. “Jesus, I’m fucking 24 years old, and she still turns me into a goddamn teenager.”

“So what did happen?” Delta asks carefully, as Willam is a subject that I‘m never willing to talk about, and now that she’s actually got me speaking about her, maybe they can get the full scoop.

I frown, “We drifted apart, and then I met somebody else.”

“Ouch.” Sutan whispers, only to receive a punch to the arm from Delta immediately.

“I mean, it was going on six months since I last saw Willam, months since I last spoke to her, and then I met Jack and he was there and he had no issue trusting me like Willam did. Rightfully of course. So Willam and I were long over by the time I met him, but that didn’t matter. Willam’s always been a bit of a drama queen.”

“What would you have done, if the roles were reversed?” Sutan asks softly, putting his brush down and lightly running his fingers over my finished, silk straight hair.

“Oh, she met plenty of girls before I met this one guy. Plenty of girls.” I shake my head, standing up from my chair. “I don’t wanna talk about her.”

“Alright, Court. We’ll love you even if you don’t give us juicy details about your dramatic ex.” Delta smiles, tucking a brush back into her brush roll, turning to hug me.

I hug back tightly, my smile hard. “Love you, too.”

“I like the change. Darker blond suits you.” Sutan says, speaking of my new hair color. It will be a bit of a shock for all of those who are used to my white-blond hair, but I‘d wanted to go a couple of shades darker, to a honey blond. Something a little different.

“Thank you, as always. You guys are the best.” I smile and allow Sutan to bend down and peck my cheek before I grab my bag and move toward the door.

“Tell Willam we say hi!” Sutan yells out, and I manage to flip him my well-manicured middle finger before exiting the room. I‘m about a foot down the hall when I remember that I‘ve left my manager behind.

“Michelle!” I shout out, watching her jump in her chair where she’s fallen asleep waiting for me.

“Oh. I like it, looks nice.” She nods in appreciation of my hair, standing up with a yawn.

“So while you spent the day pampering yourself,” She begins to walk, pulling out her phone. “I got a call from someone called Anthony who said he’s a friend of Willam. Apparently, she threw a fit and didn’t want to join the tour.”

“Not surprising. Have you met her?” I smirk, shrugging a shoulder.

“Thankfully, no.” Michelle rolls her dark eyes, “She’s a piece of work, that one is. Had to spend a whole day convincing her personally and pay her practically double to get her to shut up and agree to the tour. We would‘ve gotten her pretty cheap as it was, so I suppose it doesn’t make that much of a difference. Point is, we got ‘er. She‘s flying in next week.”

“Joy.” I say dryly, putting my sunglasses on as we approach the doors.

“Hey,” Michelle grabs my arm and pulls me back, forcing me to look at her. “You’re still okay with this, right? You won’t have a mental breakdown after two months and call off the tour?”

“Yes. I know what I can and can’t handle, thank you.” I’m annoyed, and yank my arm out of her hand. She doesn’t look convinced.

“I’ll tell Adore to make sure there’s enough space between the buses and hotel rooms. Can’t use a murder investigation on this tour.” She begins typing on her phone again immediately, walking away from me without another word.

I stare after her for a second before running to catch up and walk next to her.

“This tour really is quite a brilliant idea. I just don’t want you getting all worked up over a girl that you had a fling with in the past. You’re not that same Courtney anymore. Remember that.” Michelle continues, looking up from her phone. She wraps her arm around my shoulders tightly, hugging me close to her, and I melt a little bit.

Michelle has been there since the moment I‘d gotten home that fateful day. She‘d been waiting in my aunt’s brownstone in Brooklyn when I’d gotten back from a gig at the bar. After introducing herself as “a friend of Mike”, one of the people I’d been in contact with at Columbia, she told me that she wanted to manage me, that she knew it from the moment she heard my voice on the demo I’d sent. Michelle said that she always told Mike to let her know the minute he heard something interesting, and Mike pulled through for her.

She‘d wanted me that badly, and she‘d made me outrageous promises, told me that she would make me a worldwide star. She had kept all those promises. She’d also promised that she would always take care of me, and I trust her with my life. She isn’t the warmest person in the world, she’s always very professional, so when she shows affection toward me, I grasp at it like a child reaching for their parent.

“I take care of you, don’t I?” Her dark eyes are sparkling down at me like the night sky, and I grin up at her, nodding. “I’ll always have your back, Miss Act. So trust me when I tell you that you are better than her. You’ll meet someone someday, and forget all about that girl.”

My smile falters a little bit, but I nod anyways. “I know.”

“That’s my girl.” She says with a smile, untangling herself from me in order to open the door for me. I flinch slightly at her choice of words, spacing out again, going back in time for a moment.

“Look at me..” She murmurs, “Don’t look away.”

I manage to nod quickly, reaching up to push some strands of tangled blond hair off her sweaty forehead, before burying my fingers into her mass of unruly curls. My lips brush against hers, “Faster… please…”

Her fingers’ pace quickens at my request immediately, her eyes staying on me the whole time. I lock my eyes with hers, feeling a gasp escape my mouth before I fall off the edge of bliss. Willam watches my mouth fall open, my breath coming out in short, quick puffs of hot air, my eyebrows scrunching together. I want to close my eyes and throw my head back, but I keep my eyes locked with hers, my back arches up off the bed toward her as my orgasm reaches its peak. I can feel her hair tickle my face.

“Good girl..” She whispers, watching me collapse back onto the bed.

She leans down, pressing her lips to my forehead firmly, keeping her hand pressed against me a little longer before removing it.

She pulls back from me slowly, “That’s my girl.”

Goosebumps pop up on my skin, and I shiver fiercely, trying to shake the memories out of my head. I know that I can ignore them all I want, but that doesn’t change the fact that my life with Willam is embedded into my heart like braille, spelling out a story that can still make me weep at a moment’s notice. I blink back tears behind my sunglasses, shaking my head again as I run to catch up to Michelle.

Michelle can’t help her ignorance toward my situation with Willam, she doesn’t know how we were, nobody does except for the people back in Brooklyn. She doesn’t realize that Willam is not just another girl, and that what I‘d had with her isn’t anywhere near a fling. It‘s the only real love I‘ve ever felt, and to this day, I still can’t stop that feeling bubbling up inside of me at the mention of her name. I shove it down, hiding it away from myself and everyone else. The further I push it down, the colder I become, and the higher my walls built up.

I had meant to hurt Willam for her own protection, but she hadn’t even realized or cared that she‘d hurt me, too.

All I knew was, that the second time Willam had said goodbye to me first, and I will never forgive her for that.

*

“LASKY!” I squeal into the phone, a bright smile spread across my face. I’m in the lobby of my hotel, sitting in a way too comfortable armchair waiting for Michelle to come back from yelling at the people working at the reception. She hadn’t been too pleased with the hotel’s security management during my stay and she would make them feel her wrath. I don’t particularly like her yelling at anyone, but I’d learned that nothing and nobody can stop her from doing her job, which is to keep me safe and organised. So I never interfere. Sorry, reception people.

“Greetings from Minnesota!” Alaska, my best friend and roommate from college, giggles into the phone, and I instantly feel at home. I‘d missed that giggle.

“What the hell are you doing in Minnesota? Tipping cows?”

“Nah, just visiting some family. Sooooo… when were you planning on telling me about this little tour of yours?” Alaska almost sounds hurt, and I frown.

“Shit, Lasky. I’m sorry. I should have told you.” I sigh softly, “Yeah, yeah… um, there wasn’t much I could do about it. Carson’s job was pretty much on the line here. It’s gonna be interesting, to say the least.”

“I’ll bet.” Alaska says quietly, and I know what‘s coming next. “I miss him.”

“I know, babe.” I whisper, “I know you do.”

Long story short: Alaska’s cat had died in a tragic accident involving two toddlers on tricycles just a month ago. I’ve never had a pet so I don’t really understand why she is still this upset about it but knowing how much she’s always talked about him I still feel for her.

“Gonna come visit on tour?” I ask lightly, hoping to distract her.

“I’m going to try!” Alaska’s voice perks up, “I haven’t gotten laid in months, girl and your dancers are fine as fuck.”

“Jeez, Alaska. I know I’m a good wing woman but can’t you get some without me at least once?” I joke, and she instantly cracks up, which makes me laugh in return. Alaska’s laugh is always funnier than any joke.

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself. I just wasn’t in the mood to go out. What about you and Will?” She asks gently.

“I don’t think she’s gonna be up for any make-up sex, Lasky.” I try to laugh, but it comes out weak and humorless.

“What about angry I-hate-you sex?” Alaska asks, making me laugh for real this time.

“That’s a possibility, considering how much she fucking hates me.”

Alaska groans loudly, “I just don’t understand, Couuuurt! The last time I saw you two both at the airport she was practically sobbing because you were leaving! You guys were so…in love. Despite your alleged betrayal.”

“First of all: Willam doesn’t cry. In fact, I don’t think she has tear ducts. And secondly: People change.” I whisper the last sentence, frowning deeply. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me.” She says, “I know this is going to be hard on you. Call me if you ever need me. I’ll let you know when I can make it out, okay? I love you, girl.”

“I love you, Lasky.” I reply softly, frowning. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Court. After all these years I’m still not used to falling asleep without the sound of your snoring.”

“EXCUSE YOU!” I laugh loudly, seeing Michelle enter the room again, with a disapproving look on her face. “Shit, I really gotta go, Alaska. Love you..”

“Love you! Byyyyyyeeeee!” She hangs up first, and I pull my phone away from my ear, staring down at it for a second. Then Michelle is there and I get up quickly.

„I don’t think they were even listening to me.“, Michelle scoffs and begins marching across the beautifully patterned carpet towards the big double doors.

„Don’t be so grumpy“, I tease her. „They’ve been very courteous whenever I talked to them and they practically read my mind when I needed anything.“

Michelle just mumbles something I can’t understand and leads me back to the reception where I sign some paperwork.

I sigh as I turn around and give Michelle a quick nod. I’m ready. I shove on my sunglasses and Michelle’s hand closes around my arm tightly. Two men in black suits and ties open the doors for us and we step outside into the blazing sun.

Immediately we’re surrounded, tons of photographers crawling around us, pressing in for a picture, shouting things at me desperately. I force a smile onto my face as Michelle leads me safely through the crowd toward the waiting car.

“Should have brought Brian, I guess.” Michelle mutters, speaking of my bodyguard, shielding me from all the bodies pushing towards us. I clutch onto her hand tightly, letting her shove me through everyone until we reach the car, where she flings the backseat door open and helps me inside.

“Well, that was a little nuts for a quiet Sunday afternoon.” Michelle says as she climbs into the front, signaling the driver to go. She turns to look at me in the backseat, where I press a hand to my forehead.

“You alright there Court?”

“Yeah. I’ll just never get used to this.” I force another smile and gesture vaguely.

“Okay.” Michelle smiles weakly and tries to change the subject. “Lauren called and told me to let you know that if you don’t call her today, she’s gonna kick your butt.”

“She can try.” My mood lightens at the mention of my Aunt Lauren, the only family I have left and the woman who raised me after my mother’s death. I admittedly spend a lot of my time feeling sorry for myself because my parents are dead and because I have no siblings. But the simple mention of Aunt Lauren is all it takes to make me stop acting like a helpless child, to be strong and independent the way Lauren is. All it takes for me to realize that I am truly loved is one talk with Lauren.

But right now the thought of Lauren can’t distract me.

I slip one hand into my shirt, pulling out the long, thin silver chain around my neck, and touch the pendant attached to it. The metal is warm from being pressed to my skin all day long, and I tighten my fingers around it, feeling the soft pads of my fingers imprint with the sharp edges of the small diamond.

I pull the chain up to eye level, looking at the ring for a long moment before tilting it to read the inside. There, engraved into the slim silver band, are the words that are also imprinted on my heart, in my brain and onto every inch of my body. Words that I still believe, because Willam is the one who said them, and at one point, she was one of the only people who cared about me more than she cared about herself.

Maybe she stopped caring about me the way she did before everything went to shit, and maybe she didn’t expect me to keep the ring. But the day Willam had given me this ring and had whispered these words which I knew were so hard for her to say I promised myself to keep this gift sacred. To value it forever. The breakup hadn’t changed that.

This proof of Willam’s genuine feelings for me reassured me every day that I’d done the right thing protecting her.

It still means so much to me, that one day I’d started wearing it, close to my heart, on the chain around my neck.

The day I stopped wearing it on my finger.

[suzannebyrne]

Exclusive: Maggie Q makes an excellent case for a fur-free holiday shopping list

Maggie Q’s bold new ad campaign for PETA (Photo: PETA)

If there are any fur products on your holiday shopping list — even the tiniest bit of trim — this photo of Maggie Q should make you rethink them.

The Designated Survivor star and Nikita alum appears in a bold new campaign for PETA — the kind that leaves a lasting impression as she clutches a bloody dead rabbit in one hand. The point of the ad — which reads, “Here’s the rest of your fur trim” — is to serve as a reminder this Black Friday and holiday gift-giving season that animals are electrocuted, drowned, beaten, and often skinned alive to have their fur removed. And, yes, that includes the tiny bits of fur trim on clothes and accessories. The campaign launched in Asia and this is your first look at the English version.

PETA’s known for its shocking images, but Maggie — a passionate animal-rights advocate who also works with WildAid and Best Friends Animal Society — Los Angeles — tells Yahoo Entertainment that she came up with the concept for the shoot, a collaboration with fashion photographer Greg Kadel, after being fed up with all the fur she had been seeing.

“I was inspired by a PETA campaign they had done years ago with Sophie Ellis-Bextor,” she says, referring to the 2002 ad featuring the British singer and model. “She is a very pale-skinned woman, [the background] was all black — her face and the animal popped. I remember thinking how much it affected me and my psyche around fur and the cruelty around it. Also, how in-your-face it was without overselling it because the truth is these are not animals people eat. These are animals people discard completely and are just used for their skin.”

While Maggie doesn’t wear fur and that’s known to the people she works with, she says people still try to get her to wear it when it’s an accent on an article of clothing. Needless to say, it’s exasperating.

“I can’t tell you the times someone has said, ‘I know you don’t wear fur, but there’s just a little bit on it — on the bottom’ or ‘on the collar.’ Are you friggin’ kidding me?!” she says incredulously. “So I wanted to send a message about trim. We’re really not in an age anymore — well, unless you’re certain people that I won’t name — of wearing floor-length fur coats. That’s … kind of died out. Instead, what’s even worse, the masses are able to afford cheaper fur and things that have just a little bit of trim, and maybe that makes them feel like it’s luxurious, and so that’s desired. I wanted to create something that would affect people emotionally, but also visually, and let them know where that stuff is coming from.”

Just to be clear: Animal prints are OK for Maggie Q. Fur is not. Even “‘a little bit on the collar.'”  (Photo: Greg Doherty/Getty Images)

Where exactly is that stuff coming from? “I don’t know if you’ve seen footage of the fur farms in China, but they’re unfathomable,” says the actress, who was born in Hawaii and is half Vietnamese. “The cruelty is immense. It’s one of the saddest things you’ll witness. Not only are they breeding exotic animals and taking animals from the wild, but there’s also a very big problem with the dog fur trade in China. Whenever you’re buying fur that’s not as expensive as a mink or a fox or whatever, it’s probably dog. Some people don’t care about wild animals, but they care about dogs.”

For the record, that isn’t a real dead rabbit hanging across Maggie’s body — as realistic as it may look. She had just a few hours to procure the unusual prop — she decided to shoot the ad for PETA at the end of a photo shoot she already had scheduled for WildAid — but nothing was going to stop her.

“The night before the shoot, it was about 11 p.m. and my call time was 8 a.m., I had a concept meeting with the photographer and the stylist and I said, ‘Hey guys, do you mind tacking on this ad at the end? In my bones, I need to do this.'” They both said they were behind her 100 percent, but they quietly had doubts she’d be able to obtain the prop animal in a few hours time. “They both told me later in confidence: ‘We thought you were a little bit crazy.’ I mean — it’s kind of a big ask: ‘Hey, can I get this very real looking fake dead animal?'”

By morning, however, she showed up to the studio with not one but two options, which her friends at PETA helped with. “I walk up with a fake dead fox and fake dead rabbit and said, ‘Which one do you like better?’ They were like, ‘What?! How did you do this?’ Nothing is going to stop me if I feel strongly.”

And to squash any rumors before they get started, yes, you’re right — Maggie, isn’t wearing her engagement ring from her Stalker co-star Dylan McDermott in the ad, but no, there’s no drama there. “Oh, I always take it off for work,” she laughs. “Totally still engaged — and still happy. 100 percent.” If you’ve seen the ring (and you can below), it’s kind of hard to miss and it would detract from the statement she’s trying to get across. “I would rather all the attention be on what it’s supposed to be on,” she says.

Maggie Q and Dylan McDermott at a WildAid event held at the Beverly Wilshire Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills on Nov. 11, 2017. (Photo: Michael Tran/FilmMagic)

In 2015, Maggie, who also appeared in the Divergent movie series, was awarded WildAid’s Wildlife Champion Award for her work on the group’s elephant, rhino, shark, and pangolin campaigns, so of course also she has some thoughts on the Trump’s administration discussing the reversal of an Obama-era ban on importing legally hunted elephant remains from Africa.

“In that specific situation, you’re trying to lift a ban for personal reasons,” she sighs. “That’s not leadership. It’s not leadership when you don’t look at the greater good and say: This is a highly endangered species and regardless of whether my children like to shoot them — or my friends — I’m going to protect them because I’m in a leadership position.”

She continues, “It’s not that we haven’t seen a lack of leadership before on other issues, but on this specific issue what I think people are missing — and I go to Africa almost every year and I’m in the field with elephants and groups that are on the ground literally saving animals lives — when you’re in Africa experiencing these ecosystems, you realize that without these giant mammals, you would lose the ecosystem as a whole. There’s a reason elephants exist in these areas and nowhere else. Losing these giant animals would create a trickle-down effect of many species beneath them dying off. There are long periods of dry season in Africa, as you know, and elephants, especially in Tsavo, are responsible for making paths for smaller animals. They crunch trees and move things. They poke holes in dry lake beds. They allow water, which is life, come to smaller animals. They’re almost like the grandmother of whether those ecosystems survive, and taking them out for trophy for so-called sport because this is something you have enough money to do — and let’s be very, very clear: this is a wealthy privilege — [is unacceptable].”

Maggie bonding with an elephant:

  I have been trying all day to wrap my head around the lack of understanding for the majesty of this creature. Of ALL living creatures. Decisions made on a personally motivated whim, by the unfathomably entitled, to the detriment of endangered species, and further, of entire ecosystems. @realdonaldtrump You back out because you are WRONG. #bekindtoelephants @ellen_degeneres

A post shared by Maggie Q (@maggieq) on Nov 17, 2017 at 6:26pm PST

And, to be clear, she’s not just blaming Trump. The administration’s consideration of lifting the ban is just one part of it.

“Somebody on my social media wrote: ‘You blame Trump for everything. What about the Africans that are letting this happen?’ I’m thinking: Because I’m upset Trump [may] lift a ban, I’m absolving Africa of its responsibility?! Listen, poor people are only going to be exploited by those who can pay them. So I don’t want to hear any excuse like: ‘They’re corrupt in Africa.’ No sh** they’re corrupt in Africa. Are you kidding me? But their corruptions only lies in that money is being funneled to them by people who will allow this corruption to exist. And that’s us. That’s first world. That’s what we do.”

With Thanksgiving just days away, Maggie is looking forward to a restful holiday — she has the day off — with her furry friends. “I’ll be home with my dogs, so I’ll be happy,” she says. The “more vegan than vegetarian” eater will be feasting on a “delicious” meatless roast from the British food company Quorn as well as “a bunch of vegan sides.” And while millions of people will start their holiday shopping the day after, she actually hadn’t heard of Black Friday (“Oh, it’s where people fight. Right!”) so don’t look for among the masses at Best Buy come midnight on Friday morning. Besides, she has a different strategy for her gift-giving.

Maggie’s holidays plans include cuddling with her rescue:

  @maytesrescue You have seriously found us our love. The baby with the broken leg, found on the streets, would never have had a chance without you! Thank you my sister! If you are looking to adopt #mayterescue is in need of homes for so many abandoned animals left after the disaster in Puerto Rico and locally alike. Have a look?! #adoptdontshop @dylan.mcdermott #savethemall

A post shared by Maggie Q (@maggieq) on Nov 14, 2017 at 9:44am PST

“I’m not going to pretend that I’m not a consumer. I love things,” she says. “When it comes to holiday gifts, it’s usually supporting non-profits. Everyone in my life kind of has what they need. There are certain people, yes, and the kids, my nieces and nephews. But last year even the kids got a donation to City of Joy, which is my my future mother-in-law’s safe house in the Congo,” she says, referring to McDermott’s adopted mother, Eve Ensler, the feminist playwright and activist behind The Vagina Monologues  “In Africa, if you are a rape victim, your family throws you out and essentially your life is over — they even take your kids away. So she created a safe house in the middle of a war zone for women who are in a bad way physically and mentally and have no place to go after an assault.”

Maggie finds this type of giving more rewarding. Along with the donations, “I sent out a beautiful flyer that Eve helped me design and I explained why this mattered to me. I have to tell you: People were really happy. They were really thankful because they were like: Do I need another sweater? They also get educated [about the cause].” She calls it the “gift that on giving” because “a lot of people wrote me back and said, ‘I had no idea that [Eve] did this. I had no idea this safe house existed.’ Thank God for some of my richer friends,” she says with a laugh. “Some of my richer friends who I sent it to said, ‘I want to make a further donation.’ So the society was actually able to get more than what I donated.”

Between her conscientious gift giving and the bold reminder about the horrors of fur farming, Maggie gives us a lot of (vegan) food for thought as the holiday season kicks off.

Read more on Yahoo Entertainment:

‘Coco’ review: Pixar’s winning formula is alive and kicking in story about Land of the Dead

Pixar’s ‘Coco’ clip: Rescue and reunion in the Land of the Dead (exclusive video)

Hollywood’s early Oscar picks: Stars at Governors Awards loving ‘Get Out,’ ‘Florida Project,’ and ‘Lady Bird’