#some things here I’m not in agreement with but like 95% of this is like !!!! yes!!!

[androgynealienfemme]

the linchpin of the subordination of women, the impetus and structure of women’s gendered status as second class, is sexuality, socially gendered through sexualized misogyny. We are placed on the bottom of the gender hierarchy by the misogynistic meanings that male dominant societies create, project onto us, attribute to us, which, in my observation and analysis, center on women’s sexuality. This has nothing whatsoever to do with biology, which serves, however powerfully, as sexuality’s after-the-fact attributed naturalized rationalization and supposed ratification. Sexualized misogyny merges synergistically with myriad inequalities: it sucks up and incorporates age-based specifics, takes on every racialized and caste and class guise. In other words, I reject the “single-axis” notion argued by what is currently inaccurately being called “gender-critical feminism.”

[…]

Transgender feminist theorization and realization, emerging into view but begun long ago—in a brilliant literature from Sandy Stone to Julia Serano to Esperanza—embodies a politics of its own but also sheds new light on feminist politics. All this suggests to me that “woman” is a combination of sex and gender, such that sex can be a sufficient condition for being considered a woman but has never been a necessary one. Sufficient, because most women so assigned at birth do not affirmatively identify with all women and women’s interests, or even as women really (seeing oneself as part of any group with men in it has more dignity); many (even most) are not critical of male supremacy; but all are constrained to live women’s lives, whether they see it that way or not. They are our people.

Not necessary, because not only are trans women living women’s lives—often much the worst of that life—but the transgender women I know, anyway, embrace womanhood consciously, are far more woman-identified than a vast swath of the women assigned female at birth (so-called “natal women” sometimes) whom I also know, many of whom have been trying to escape womanhood their whole lives for real reasons, yet often defend rape of other women as just a bad night and disidentify with women in every possible way short of their own transition, which is a lot of trouble and takes real courage. Trans women are, politically, women. They are our people too.

[…]

I take away two overarching lessons from these thoughts in progress. One is that feminism has not yet sufficiently changed the social meaning of gender around us for everyone to be safe and free and equal in gender terms, no matter how strongly we have confronted it or expanded it or bent it or transcended it or worked to abolish it. A lot of people still think it is biologically based. This much is truly obvious. Naturalism, that gender flows from sex in the sense of chromosomes and genitals and reproductive biology and so on, still exercises dominion over the world we all live in. Two, the feminist anti-transgender position is built on and reinforces, rather than challenges, that ideology. The notion that gender is biologically based—the philosophical foundation common to male dominant society and anti-trans feminists—is core to the reason why trans people know with their lives that they have to change their bodies to live the gender of their identities. Trans people do not need to make or defend a progressive contribution to gender politics to be entitled to change the way they inhabit gender. But trans people, in addition to all else they do and are, highlight feminism’s success—gender’s arbitrariness and invidiousness was our analysis originally—and feminism’s failure, or better our incomplete project—as the world is still largely stuck in what feminists oppose and fight to change, and trans people are determined to escape.

Babe wake up new MacKinnon essay on trans rights and feminism just dropped!!

[bloodiedbeloveds]

Rotating BDTA-John in my head, and it's leading me to ask... why does he paint? And why paint, rather than write or sing or something else?

this is a really good question! it prompted a long conversation, but we didn't come to an agreement, so here are various perspectives.

"Having left the education system as a form of rebellion, it seemed obvious to him that he must pursue an artistic career of some nature. I think he is a painter because he has isolated himself from the world in trying to hide his inhuman nature, and it is easiest for him to pursue a career path where he is not required to make many public appearances and where he is expected to be somewhat skittish and eccentric. As a musical performer, he would have much more difficulty hiding his wings."

“honestly he probably could have been a writer and it wouldn’t have changed much, to tell you the truth the others are giving all these sensible watsonian explanations but i’m 95% sure it’s because we like describing fictional works of visual art”

“shut up it absolutely would have changed things, him being an artist adds to the epistolary form by contributing even more implied content— in the same way that there’s all these interpersonal interactions which must take place but aren’t written down, the descriptions without the presence of the actual images add to the sense that we as readers are not getting the full story. this is especially blatant in we never really learn, with that image description”

“my take is that he has to be some sort of creative for this story to work, because so much of it is about perception & a lot of his Issues are about how he makes so much goddamn money by drawing his deepest traumas and people eat it up. but actually we started thinking about this because of the trends in modern poetry publishing. so that could’ve worked. so i think it’s mostly for the epistolary stuff”

“he could not be a singer because part of his tragic backstory is having loved to sing as a child but having that joy taken from him because he didn’t sound human enough. the simple childhood pleasure of singing a duet with yourself strangled by shame and self-hatred and despair”

“there's also a historical explanation for this— BDTA (the first fic, not the series as a whole) was written as a reaction to some AUs we had with a friend & to the subsequent acrimonious parting we had with them. it's actually kind of spiteful; we wanted to write something better and more interesting than they ever could have come up with. we've moved beyond that in writing the rest of the series, but john was a painter in the AUs with which BDTA is in conversation, so he's a painter now."

"okay this has no precedent, i'm just making this up, but it's super convincing + sad + creation is about constant reinterpretation, so bear with me. john, as a child, was very sad and fucked up and coped with his alienation from his peers + from childhood as a whole via a) reading too much and b) drawing too much. so by the time he's a teenager he's already fallen into the pattern he exhibits as an adult of drawing tortured eldritch characters as a form of emotional self-harm, and when he drops out of college + loses access to his previous viable career path art is both his only other major skill + something he can't stop doing even if he tries."

"honestly, this is making me interested in a take on BDTAverse where john is a fiction writer and alex is a freelance artist. (hey, you know what would be super fucked up? if The Photo hadn't been released, and alex drew for magazines and people kept asking him to draw john's suicide attempt)"

"anyway! i think he paints as a compulsive thing, because he has so few emotional outlets, and doing art about it has been pretty much the only way for him to manage his feelings for a lot of his life. (he learned, as a child, that there are correct emotions to have and if you don't have the right ones people will be mad at you, so talking about it has been out of the picture for a long time.) and once he doesn't have other career plans, well, he's going to be painting fucked up stuff anyway, might as well sell it"

[golden-web]

My eyes darted back and forth over the multi page document.

“You don’t have to sign this now,” the lawyer says. Her name slides off my brain as sentence drift in and out of my mouth.

“Oh,” I reply looking back down at the packet.

“I can explain it to you again if you’d like,” she pushes her brown Bob out of the way.

“That’s fine,” I stand up from the small table and give a weak smile. “I’ll bring this back to you soon!” I head towards the door. Mr. Murdock can probably explain it better.

As I wander down the long corridors I flip through the packet again. I finally get to my room and call Mr. Murdocks law practice.

“Thank you for calling Nelson and Murdock how can I help you today?” Answers Ms. Page on a cheerful voice.

“Hi Ms. Page, this is Uhm Finley, a friend of Mr. Murdock I was wondering if he was available to talk to?”

“Let me go ask,” the line goes quite for a few seconds.

“Evening Finley, how can I help you? Everyone okay?” Mr. Murdock answers.

“Oh yea all good,” I chuckle nervously. “Just had some questions on this legal document, are we in private?”

“Yes we are, what document, is it related to your hobby?” I can hear his smirk through the phone.

“Well yes, it’s the Powered child act.” I stammer.

“Sadly I’m not to familiar. Is it okay if Foggy comes in and helps me go through it with us?” I bite my lip a little bit. “He’s very good about this thing.” Mr. Murdock assured me.

“Sure.” After a while the line crackles back to life.

“Hi, I’m Foggy, Matt’s partner. I’ve read the whole agreement and law and all the fun jazz. I understand why you are signing, but understand the whole thing is basically a legal mess and trap.” Mr. Nelson says with a sigh.

“Here’s what you need to know,” Mr. Murdock says. “First off I’d right this done.” He pauses as I dash around for a pencil and paper. “Alright, signing this means you agree not to use your powers publicly unless for immediate threats. This is the legal mess. You can technically patrol, especially with your suit, but it would be easy to plea that you where saving lives when known else could. But if or when you are to suit up again the police has every right to take you down. If you are helping people, they may not do anything, they don’t have to. The only time they are allowed though to shoot you is if you are considered a dangerous threat.

“Luckily until you are captured they can know your identity and history again. If they where to take you in, you would most likely end up in jail, possibly the raft depending on why exactly you where arrested. Also depending on your sentence you may be forced to work with the government till you retire. Quite frankly getting arrested will mean the end of your life in 95% of situations.” Mr. Murdock finishes.

“Anything else?” I murmur.

“Honestly, not really,” Mr. Nelson says. “Just know that if you continue what you do know the police can come after you at any time.”

“Yea Okay,” I nod a bit and run my hands through my hair. “Will my dad be okay and stuff?”

“Because you are an adult, unless someone is directly assisting you, no one will face punishment. Your dad can only get in trouble if he, makes you a suit, or helps you fight, but him just knowing? Not a crime in this case.” Mr. Nelson assured me.

“Okay, thank you for your help,” I say.

“Of course, be careful alright?” Mr. Murdock replies.

“Yup,” I hang the phone up and look back at the thick packet. I gulp down my fear and grab a pen.

[soccerdailyuk]

What Erling Haaland told Dominik Szoboszlai after he completed £60m Liverpool transfer

What Erling Haaland told Dominik Szoboszlai after he completed £60m Liverpool transfer Dominik Szoboszlai has disclosed that he contacted Erling Haaland, the striker for Manchester City, seeking advice after finalizing his transfer to Liverpool on Sunday. The £60 million acquisition has also provided information about his packed schedule off the field prior to commencing pre-season training with Liverpool on July 11 at the AXA Training Centre. The signing of Szoboszlai marks Liverpool's second acquisition this summer, as he signed a five-year contract after successfully completing a medical examination at the Reds' Kirkby facility. Liverpool acted swiftly to finalize the agreement with RB Leipzig after engaging in discussions with the player's representatives early last week. The Reds activated the £60 million release clause of the 22-year-old on Friday and promptly arranged for his arrival in Merseyside on Saturday afternoon. Szoboszlai and Haaland formed a strong bond during their shared tenure at Red Bull Salzburg, and the new Liverpool player, who now wears the No. 8 jersey, believes that there is a chance they could end up living close to each other in the northwest region. This possibility arose from a conversation Szoboszlai had with his fellow forward from Norway. "We've talked," Szoboszlai told the Hungarian-based Nemzeti Sport. "So much so that Erling Haaland has also advised on finding real estate, and it could very well be that we become neighbours. "I learned from him that several players live halfway between Manchester and Liverpool in a quiet area where privacy can be preserved, and on Monday I will see what he was talking about, I am very curious. "And of course, putting our friendship aside during the Liverpool-Manchester City matches, it will surely be a fantastic experience to play against each other." Szoboszlai also sought the counsel of former Liverpool goalkeeper Peter Gulacsi who he played with at Leipzig, adding: "I've spoken to him before and he knows what our relationship is like. He was there in Leipzig when I got there, I became a player for the club and I could count on his support from the very first moment. "He was a very good team-mate of mine and I hope he got over his injury and there will be another Champions League match between Liverpool and RB Leipzig where he can try to save my free-kick! "I'll do some training on Monday, I have some paperwork to do, and then look at some potential properties where I'd like to live. Then I have to go to Leipzig, pack up my stuff, say goodbye to my former club, thank everyone for their support, love and encouragement and then to Budapest. But on the 10th at the latest I will be back in Liverpool, because on the 11th I will be training for my new team." With the signing of Szoboszlai, Liverpool's expenditure for this transfer window has now reached £95 million. This figure includes the previous addition of Alexis Mac Allister from Brighton & Hove Albion in early June. The Hungarian midfielder acknowledges that he does not want to burden himself with excessive pressure at this stage as he gets ready to embark on his journey with his new club. "I don't want to look too far," he said. "I'm trying to take it step by step, I definitely need time to get used to the rhythm of the Premier League, the way Liverpool plays, Jurgen Klopp's ideas. "The opportunity to play is the most important thing, as always, and if I have that, obviously I want to score as many goals as possible, give assists, make myself accepted by my surroundings, by the fans. I want to deserve the confidence that they give me here in Liverpool at every moment." What Erling Haaland told Dominik Szoboszlai after he completed £60m Liverpool transfer Read the full article

[shepard-ram]

Non-Liquid Red [Dsmp!Reader & Mumbo]

(P!fluff a tiny bit of hurt, Request: DUDE. I TOTALLY NEED A MUMBO ONE. IVE BEEN BINGING HIS HERMIT CRAFT SERIES AND JUST A READER FROM THE DREAM SMP FINDING CONTENT IN THE INTRICACIES OF REDSTONE AND HAVING FUN JUST BUILDING FARMS WITH HIM BECAUSE IT KEEPS THEIR HANDS AND THEIR MIND BUSY AND MUMBO AND THEM JUST FARMING TOGETHER AND ENJOYING ONE ANOTHERS COMPANY PLEASE.)

(I'm sorry for how long it takes me to get to requests, I'm far from a fast writer. And I'm realizing most of these are 95% dialog)

----------

"I think that should be it!" You gave an exhausted grin. He had said that a few times already. Still when Mumbo jestered the signal to you, you let out a silent wish as you hit the lever for the God knows what time.

He ran back to your side and crossed his fingers watching the newest edition to his industrial district kick to life. You were both covered in the glowing dust that powered all the machines around you. Between all the edits you both had made over the day it felt like nothing could possibly go wrong. And when nothing seemed to break you both burst in victorious cheers.

"FINALLY!" You plopped on the ground right there watching the farms newly produced resources travel up to the storage system. Mumbo sat next to you.

"Seems your excited to be done with me." He light-heartedly said.

"Don't say that like you don't act like a puppy when these things finally work" you teased back. He raised his hands in a silent defense "I get it though, it's satisfying to see it's actually done and working." He nodded in agreement at that. "I get why you guys like doing this so much."

"Did you do alot of redstone back on your server?" He started up another conversation.

"No not all" you answered, "I like to think I'm better than most of them, but the bar wasn't high at all- trust me." You added. "We do have a couple of really smart guys though," you were thinking out loud at this point. "Like Sam, you'd all like him I think."

"Well if you do then I'm sure we would." He sincerely responded. "What is he like?" You had told Mumbo how much you enjoyed being able to talk about the better parts of your old home, and ever since he always tried to get you to tell more stories.

"He's probably the best engineer we have, tall creeper hybrid. Really sweet dude, he taught me most of what I know. I was never as good as him though." You fondly recalled.

"He sounds like Doc." You both smiled at the connection.

"Yeah Doc always did remind of him. Minus all the cyborg bits" you laughed. "Sam could actually make his own if he needed them. Honestly I wouldn't be shocked if they turned out to be long lost brothers or something!" you entertained they thought before shaking your head.

"They both are pretty talented hm?" He hummed even with his lack of knowledge about your friend.

"Oh he is, he made the one big redstone build we have." You sang his praises.

"Really! What's that." Almost immediately feeling some regret as your face dropped.

"Pandora's vault" you added in a much more monotone voice. "A massive inescapable prison complex, made In a way so magic doesn't work. When I left Dream just locked up and Sam was the warden. Terrible place to be, but I can't say I feel bad for the bastard." You scoffed.

You saw that he was speechless at your vent, quickly rushing to lighten the subject. "But this is a great change of pace!" You blurted out. "It's nice to have something to keep myself busy." You added in a more sincere tone. "I like being able to make something that doesn't hurt anyone, it only makes- only helps. You know?"

"Yeah, thats a good way to put it." Grasping for something to say after your monolog. "Sorry if it gets frustrating how long it can for me to get one of these working."

"No no I don't mind at all. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. That's my mindset after all" You gave a small smile with the sincere response. "I really like it here." You truthfully confessed.

"Well, that's nice to know. I'm glad you're here." And after some more talking you decided to go you're separate ways for the night.

[blackmaylovesfries]

‘95line - No one is alone anymore

Words: 1731

Sinopse: Seventeen Hybrid AU - Because Seungcheol passed so much time far from civilization, he was bound to be sick at some point. Fortunately, now he had you and two cat hybrids that wouldn’t let him heal alone.

Notices: Mention of sickness. Not so good English. I’m BAAAACK!! Read the end, please!

Solo stories’ destiny // Buy me a Coffee

Masterpost

INTRODUCTION / Next

Seungcheol was feeling his nose a little congested. His head was a little light and his body seemed a little heavy. He didn’t think much about it and got up to help with the morning routine of the big house. He woke up before his roommates, used the bathroom and soon was downstairs with some of the younger hybrids that would go to the center with you that day.

After a month with all 13 of them plus you living together, everyone was pretty used to some sort of routine. They would take turns of who was going with you to the center during the day and who would stay to take care of the house. On your free days, you all would just lazy around the house, which means a lot of cuddles and fights.

That day, Sheungcheol wasn’t scheduled to go to the center but he still got up early to help the ones who would go. You were finishing your breakfast when he arrived at the kitchen, all the other boys were searching for their things and preparing to leave. He smiled at you but something felt off about it… His face was a little red, actually, really red, like he was super hot at the moment.

“Coups?” The nickname was given by Hoshi, on the first day the bear hybrid went with him to the center. ��Are you feeling okay?” You got up from the chair, still with a toast in one hand, and got closer to him. You acted before he answered and put your hand on his forehead. “Oh, heavens! You’re burning, Cheol!”

---

Jeonghan and Joshua took their time to wake up. They had a lazy day as they liked to call the days at home, so no need to wake up super early or anything like that. The feline hybrids were almost ready to start the day when Jun invaded the room.

“Good morning to you too, Junhui.” Jeonghan’s voice wasn’t acid as it was when he first arrived but it wasn’t all that comfortable. “What’s the rush?” Although the older feline wanted to tease the younger, as soon as he saw Jun catching Cheol’s blanket and his neatly folded pajamas, both lazy hybrids became alert.

“Y/n asked me to grab Coups-hyung’s things, it seems that he’s not feeling good today.” The younger one paused just to say that and went running down the stairs again. Frowning, the 95’twins quickly followed. They arrived at the living room on the first floor at the same time a car could be heard near the entrance of the house.

“Vernon, get Moonbyul here asap. Seungkwan, make sure he changes and stays seated. Jun, get those two off the kitchen and calm them down, we don’t need more noise. Woozi, please, get everyone that should be ready to leave today, I want them ready to go with Moon when she’s done here.”

The hybrids named by the tiny human soon were in movement. The 96’line that were called moved as they were used to the military tone on the girl’s voice, while the 98’ just hesitated for a second before running to do what she said. Joshua and Jeonghan were momentarily lost but the girl didn’t give them time to daze.

“Sorry, guys, did Jun wake you two up?” Her tone was warmer and softer while looking at them. After the duo denied with their heads, she explained the situation. “Coups seems to have caught a cold. He’s burning up so I called a doctor from the center to do a check up on him. I’ll have to ask you guys to have patience today, okay?”

“Sure, sure…” Joshua’s voice was small as he examined the roommate changing shirts near the huge sofa. “We… Is there anything we can do to help him?” Both felines were fronwing a little. The girl smiled and responded with a sweet voice.

“Let’s wait for the doctor’s verdict.”

---

Moonbyul was fast to exame Seungcheol. It was a reaction resulting from the change of environment… Well, you couldn’t say that it surprised you but it sure did to the boys. To provide a good rest to the oldest, you decided to send everyone to the center with Moonbyul, having her promise to come back at night to both bring them back and check Cheol’s condition.

Joshua and Jeonghan insisted on staying with you to take care of the oldest. You could see that they were really worried and didn’t refute them. You and the two healthy hybrids made Seungcheol lay at his bed and the hybrids decided to cook some porridge for him. You laughed discreetly and showed them where the recipes were.

“Okay, how about I tell you a story now? To help you sleep?” You smiled as you changed the wet towel from Cheol’s forehead. The hybrid had been complaining about disrupting everyone’s routine since the doctor said it was better for the others not to have too much contact with him until he’s feeling a little better.

“I’m fine, (Y/n). You don’t need to watch over me, I’ll be okay. You can do your job, I know you have a lot of work even not going to the center… I’m sorry…” His voice was raspy and your heart ached for him. You reached your hand and brushed his hair back.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Coups. When I took you in, we had an agreement that I would take care of you and you of me until the end.” You smiled as your hand caressed his hair. “You know? My mother used to sing to me when I was sick… After she passed, my father didn’t know how to sing so he started to tell me stories about his missions, sugarcoating it, of course, so I could sleep.”

“You… I’m sorry, (Y/n)...” You let out a laugh.

“Don’t worry. After he also passed, JayB and the others took good care of me. Their storytelling skills aren’t that good, the singing is amazing though. Also, I’m not sad about it anymore.” You stopped to think. “Hm… How about I tell you the time me and the team went to our first mission in Japan?”

As you noticed that the bear hybrid had already gone to the dream realm, you got up and left the room. You went directly to the kitchen, where the other two were and hadn’t come out for a long time. When you got there, the scene you saw made you laugh, but just a little so you didn’t scare them back to their combative shell.

“What are you two doing?” Your voice made both felines who were staring at the stove turn their eyes to you. There was no action happening in the kitchen, no ingredients nor anything that indicate that they were cooking. Looking embarrassed for a change, Joshua nugged at Jeonghan, indicating you with his head. The other sighed.

“We were never allowed to cook before… We don’t know how to do it.” His voice was low, almost as he was reluctant to tell you about this. As it was a weakness.

“Oh, you guys should have told me ealy. I’ll teach you. A simple porridge even I can do it.” You smiled as you started to take things out to do the meal. “Come, let’s do it together, Cheol’ll be really happy when he sees it.” You turned to the boys and shove a pan in their hands.

“You’re doing it differently from the recipe.” Joshua approached you at the stove and looked between what you’re cooking and the book in his hand. You laughed.

“I’m doing my father’s recipe. He would do it all the time when our hybrids got sick. We would do it together every single time while they lived with us.” You paused a little. “You know how to read?”

“Well, that was rude.” Jeonghan commented from his seat at the counter.

“No, that’s not what I mean…”

“Don’t worry, I’m not offended.” Joshua made a hand gesture. “I learned with the older hybrids… The owner doesn't know. Anyway, where did the hybrids go then? And your father?”

“Oh, we had three or four living with us at the moment. My father went on a mission and it didn’t go well, you can imagine what happened. I was 16, almost 17 at the time. Whatever, when my father passed, the hybrids at home asked to be transferred to centers and protected villages since they didn’t want to stay at this house without my parents anymore.”

“And they just abandoned you like this?” Jeonghan was frowning.

“They couldn’t help, could they? When a hybrid bonds with a human like that, they can’t forget the link even after the human died… I couldn’t force them to stay and make them suffer just so I could not be alone, right?” You smiled at him. “I was already almost an adult, there was no need to cry over loneliness. It doesn’t matter anymore, both parts are happy enough now.”

“You’re right. It doesn’t matter anymore because we’re here now and you’re not alone in this big house.” The matter of fact tone on Jeonghan’s voice made you freeze for a moment before letting out a laugh.

“Hm, that sounds just right.” Joshua nodded.

---

When Seungcheol woke up again, his head and nose were feeling much better, just as his fever seemed to have decreased. But… For some strange reason… His arms seemed to be heavier than the rest of his body. He then opened his eyes and saw his two roommates… Laying on his arms, one in each side.

“They were waiting for you to wake up and taste the porridge we made together for you.” A girl was near the door, with a huge plate on her hands. She smiled as she tip-toed inside the room and to the table in front of his bed.

“It seems that I took too long to wake… I’m sor…”

“You really should stop saying sorry, Cheol, you’re almost worse than Mingyu sometimes.” The bear hybrid wanted to refute or say something but before he could, the front door was opened with such a force that you two could hear from the room. Soon shouts calling you and Coups disturbed the two sleeping hybrids. You smiled. “We’re not alone, Coups, not anymore.”

Hello everyone! How are you?? I hope everyone is okay and healthy! 

First of all I would like to say thank you for sticking with me and my story! I hope you all like the directio I’m taking and I promise to not stop posting anymore. The schedule for this story will be twice a week starting today. Again, thank you so much for not giving up on me!

Tag: @mimisxs​ ; @moonmin-miya​ ; @naminalati​ ; @woohoney​ ; @littleheartsays ; @amber-thumbs​ ; @skylions-den​ ; @snowballbear​ ; @restless_nights_thoughts - I tried to tag everyone, but there are two that didn’t work, sorry!!

[misterewrites]

A Part of Something Bigger (Welcome to the Underground!)

Hello everyone! E here, hoping you are safe and sound and doing good! The new chapter of the Underground is here and I'm excited for this and the next chapter. I am so happy I finally get to reveal something I’ve had in my head since I first started creating the Underground! Man am I cheek E. oh puns, I’m terrible. 

:D

I hope you are all have a great week! Stay safe, wash your hands, take care of each other, get the vaccine if you can, push for companies to give it world wide all that jazz. Feel free to comment (I love feedback) tell your friends, reblog I appreciate it all!

If you’re new and curious what the heck I’m talking about, feel free to check out the whole story and have access to my other work right in the link below (cuz I’m 95% Tumblr has shadowbanned me) 

https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrE42/pseuds/MrE42

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27814297/chapters/68094967 (first chapter)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27814297/chapters/78927370 (latest chapter) 

Have a great week, E is out!

Summary:  Turns out Oliver is a part of the Choir, a secret organization that operates within the Underground. Something big is happening tonight and It's up to Oliver and his allies to ensure it does not. However, the bard has to figure out what's going on before anything else.

-----

Oliver had been many things in the 18 years of his begrudging existence: An orphan, a thief, a con-kid, hopelessly in love, a scout, fry cook that one week and an aspiring minstrel. Many masks and different roles to survive each new day.

The one he took a quiet pride in was being a member of the Choir, a secret organization whose goal was to keep the Underground free from malicious and devious intent.

Every society had their dark, treacherous shadows where evil did its business (Oliver assumed. He only really ever lived in the Underground but you know universal constants and such.) The Choir’s purpose was to ensure those plans never came to fruition.

Rather than being an openly known identity, the Choir was more a loose collection of independent agents operating under secrecy. The organization employed any and everyone who was willing to fight for the cause, each in their own way: Merchants passed coded information, tavernkeepers offered safe havens, those with some level of magical proficiency gathered to study abnormal phenomenon. Fighters fought, clerics healed with lords and ladies used their influence for the greater good.

Sometimes, as is the case now, one individual was too limited for what was required of the organization’s purpose. In these rare moments, agents were granted permission to request help, often leaving hidden messages and imagery for other wandering members to respond to.

That’s what brought Oliver here to this dark alley in the middle of the night: When he first arrived to the capital, he caught sight of the coded symbol asking for any Choir member to lend their skill set to a mission tonight. No details added but that was par for the course.

Terri was the first to recover, her slivers eyes wide with wonder “A soprano? No joke?!Flora, he’s like you!”

Terri was tall, taller than anyone else here. She wore a red vest with torn off sleeves, probably because her muscles were too thick to actually allow them to exist in the first place. Her long jet black hair was elegantly tied into braids with her dark blue leggings tucked into thick hiking boots.

Flora pursed her lips thoughtfully, irises of lavender giving Oliver a curious look “A fellow magic user? Interesting. Wizard?”

“Bard” Oliver corrected “You?”

“Druid.” Flora spoke before drifting into an uncomfortable silence. Oliver suspected she wasn’t impressed by his response.

Flora seemed unassuming but Oliver knew better than to be lured in by appearances: Long silvery hair with petals of green and yellow flowers scattered within. She wore a white blouse with splotches of brown dirt and a long green skirt. Her feet were bare and free to be soiled by the floor.

Terri rushed over to the petrified Tyrell, dragging him into a bone crunching hug “Tyrell here is a baritone like me!”

Tyrell, the youngest beside Oliver, shifted his brown eyes away from anyone’s gaze. He wore rather well kept clothes: A tunic of purple tucked under a leather vest, his leggings were dark gray that blended fairly well in the darkness. His footwear seemed a little too fancy to be workman’s shoes.

“Fighters” Oliver nodded in understanding “Always useful. And you mysterious stranger in the darkness?”

The cloaked figure had pulled back deeper into the shadows, red eyes gleaming in the shades of night. They were trying to hard to hide their appearance but Oliver caught sight of a smooth featureless bronze face. Metallic armor of a matching color and sheen covered the rest of their body, an automaton it seems.

“You may call me Sel. I’m a tenor.” the figure responded, their voice tinged with scratchy static.

“You are going very useful. Lockpicking?”

Sel shrugged casually “Among other less savory techniques. As per usual for tenors.”

Oliver nodded “Okay, fill me in.”

Flora took a step forward, pulling a letter out of her pocket as she did so “Are you aware of one Reiner Brambleoak?”

“Oh fucking hell” Oliver rubbed his eyes tiredly “Him again? What’s he planning this time: Gonna burn an orphanage? Or maybe sell moldy food to the poor? Wait, I know!” Oliver snapped his finger “He’s going to be a terrible piece of shit.”

“Right on the money!” Terri growled.

Sel let out a mechanical click “He is planning to tear down several homes in West Haven.”

Oliver narrowed his eyes “I thought it was illegal to tear down homes in that area?”

“Not if the owners signed them over.” Flora explained “Then he would have the authority to do whatever he wished with them.”

“Let me guess, he tricked them?”

Terri flexed her muscles angrily “His representatives would change languages and double talk when they spoke to the poor folks. Most hadn’t the slightest idea what was going on and the orc thugs his people brought didn’t exactly make them feel warm and safe.”

“So.” Oliver stretched his arms “He’s strong armed his way into property, going to evict helpless folks onto the street and probably fill them with his own thugs to get the rest of the neighborhood to fall in line.”

“Unless we stop him.” Sel spoke with righteous fury.

“Tonight.” Oliver chimed in “Throwing another party?”

“You are good.” Tyrell whistled.

Oliver gave a playful wink “Naturally. What’s the plan?”

Flora reached into her pack and handed Oliver a letter: it was written in such a fancy hand he swore he was getting a headache just looking at it.

“One for each of us.” Flora explained, distributing the rest to the others “A fellow Choir member secured these tonight’s mission.”

“Helpful. Alright here’s the plan….”

“Wait” Flora interrupted “Who said you are in charge bard?”

“Me” Oliver countered with a grin “Because I’ve been to these types of festivities. Have any of you?”

Flora opened her mouth then promptly closed it, irritation in her glance. Tyrell gave a sheepish but unhelpful smile, Sel remained silent while Terri gave a thoughtful scratch of her chin.

“Thought so.” Oliver tried to keep the smugness out of his voice “Look we just need to work together for tonight.”

“Agreed.” Flora spoke with a softness that did not match her glare.

Sel inched closer to the group “What is the plan Oliver?”

“Where’s the party? Merchant Ward? I assume he’s using his office to host it.”

“Correct” Sel confirmed “His office has been chosen as the venue. He claims to be throwing the party as some sort of fundraiser for a charity that is no doubt a front for his illegal operations.”

Terri huffed, crossing her arms furiously “Probably making some more deals to trick people out of their hard earn money.”

“Without a doubt” Oliver agreed “But without any hard proof, we’re not taking him down tonight. Our mission is to ensure those contracts he forced people to sign mysteriously disappear.”

“Will that actually stop him?” Tyrell frowned unhappily “What’s stop him from forging new ones? Or just bullying people again?”

“He can’t forge new ones” Oliver explained carefully “They’re a special type of document only found here in Haven’s Nest. You can only get them from city hall and they’re magically enchanted to be untamperable with. He’ll need to get the ones he has to city hall on open court day which I assume is soon.”

“Indeed. Tomorrow in fact.”

Oliver continued on “So since open court day is the only day any major changes are allowed to be introduced to the city, if we grab them he’ll have to wait a month for another chance of snatching up that land. He’ll no doubt try to bully the folks again but now that they know what he’s up to, hopefully they’ll won’t be as easily pressured and if a few rough looking folks who can take punches and give them back start hanging around the neighborhood when his goons come knocking again…”

“They’re gonna be less eager” Terri cracked her knuckles cheerfully, already savoring the feel of bruised skin and broken bones that would bless her hands.

Oliver caught Tyrell’s eyes “One problem at a time. If you look at the mountain, you’re going to get scared.”

Tyrell nodded timidly in agreement.

“So.” Sel’s voice crackled with curiosity “What is the plan bard?”

Oliver closed his eyes, mentally mapping out the Brambleoak bank: three stories of corrupted, immoral finance who preyed on the helpless and lost. He could still see the faded green hue and cracked paint of the building in his mind’s eye. The ground floor would no doubt be where the bulk of the party would be taking place: a large space with an elevated stage normally reserved for long winded speeches could easily repurposed for a band or some sort of entertainment. His guests would range from any and everyone with any amount of influence or wealth. The second floor were the offices of his lecherous employees while his office took up the entirety of the third floor.

“Alright” Oliver spoke after a moment “I have a good idea what to expect. We’re going to break up into two teams.”

Everyone stared him expectedly.

Oliver gestured to Terri and Tyrell “You two are going to hang out at the bar across the street: The Stinkeye. Charming place, ran by a former pirate captain. Sunday is sea shanty night I think."

“Whoa, wait a minute” Terri grumbled unhappily “I am not letting Flora go into that place without me! It’s enemy turf and I don’t feel comfortable with the idea."

Flora took Terri’s hand within her own “Agreed sweetie.”

“Look this isn’t exactly a fist loaded, knives out situation. Any sort of brawling inside will be dealt with swiftly and painfully. Brambleoak doesn’t like anything scaring away the prey and causing a scene inside won’t accomplish anything. Outside, however.”

Terri’s eyes knowingly sparkled, Tyrell just looked dumbfounded.

Oliver gestured with his hand, muttering a phrase under his breath as magic formed around his hand in a golden light. A small image appeared in his palm: A heavily scarred elf with ashy blonde hair, one eye a brilliant forest green the other dull and cloudy. He wore an elegant officer’s uniform, dark green with various medals pinned to his chest with a long flowing red cape that trailed behind.

Oliver opened mouth to speak but Terri’s low snarl beat him to the punch.

“Lea Foot.”

“Acquaintance I guess?””

Flora nodded, gently squeezing Terri’s hand to get her to calm down “Lea has been a constant thorn in our sides. I believe he suspects we are a part of some greater organization. He has never seen us but he sends his underlings to bully us.”

“So I don’t need to explain his whole mercenaries for hire deal. Been exclusive to Brambleoak for a while now.”

“Can I punch him?” Terri murmured darkly.

“Yes, can she?” Flora chimed in, unable to keep the plead out of her voice.

Oliver shook his head “Maybe but we’ll see. He’s gotta show up at some point but I doubt he’ll be there right at the start. Likes to push old people around, probably eat a child or two before ‘working.’ Your job is to keep him distracted at all costs. He’s a sick man that likes to watch a good fight and the longer he’s out there, the better chance we’ll have.”

Sel tilted their head quizzically “Why is it important to keep him outside?”

“Basically” Oliver cracked his fingers “He’s very perceptive and the person most likely to catch our plan in action. His crew is made up of a nobodies with a perchance for cruelty and a thirst for violence but Lea is an old hand. Keeping himself outside is the best chance for success and if you guys accidentally get too close and managed to stray a hit his way…”

Terri chuckled manically the idea. Tyrell just looked sick.

“Meanwhile Flora, Sel and I will be inside. We’ll be looking for a chance to get Sel into the stairway so he can break into Brambleoak’s office. Without any sort of information, there’s no point to flesh out a full plan but we’ll make it up as we go. It’s a giant party of people who think they’re special. Shouldn’t be too hard to cause some drama and distractions.”

Flora said silent for a moment before speaking up “It’s not a lot to work with but admittedly better than anything I would’ve come up with.”

“Agreed.” Sel added “Without proper intel, it would be pointless to attempt to formulate any sort of long term plan. This works best to our strengths. Wait and create an opportunity,”

“That’s on us.” Oliver cut in “Your job is to get in and out. Preferably without being seen but who knows what will happen.”

The group, previously lost and anxious, glowed with renew sense of purpose and determination: 10 minutes ago they had no plan and now they were ready to do what they signed up for.

“Get ready team” Oliver gestured about “We leave in five.”

Everyone broke away to prepare for the mission: Terri cracked every bone in her body, ready for any brawl she would start. Sel slunk back into the shadows and remained still among the darkness. Tyrell held leaned unevenly against the brick building nearby, trying to steady his breathing.

Flora, on the other hand, approached Oliver, her voice dropping to a whisper.

“Oliver.”

“Flora.”

“I have a question for you.”

Oliver was confused “I’m not sure what about but go ahead.”

Flora pursed her lips “You were coming from West End, delivering a package to a Choir member out there correct?”

“Yeeeeees.” Oliver unsure where this was going “The old man. Lady Rozalin said it was the upmost importance.”

Flora bit her cheek nervously “Before you left, did you see him?”

His stomach turned cold as he remembered how uneasy he felt the day he left with Archie and Abigail, the chill that ran down his spine “No, why?”

“We haven’t been able to contact him. He is not responding to our wizards long range message spells. We’re…..worried.”

Oliver could feel his skin crawl with anxiety, his pulse raced as a horrible realization dawned on him.

“He’s missing.” Oliver spoke what Flora did not.

She nodded in response “As a high ranking member, he is important to our cause and since you were the last person to see him, the higher ups were wondering if anything suspicious happened the last day you spoke with him.”

Oliver remembered it clearly: The free money, rushing them out the door, his ‘tiredness.’ There was no such thing as free money in his mentor’s eyes and Roland was never known for pushing a guest out of his house or being tired in the middle of the day. He was attempting to get them to leave to prevent something from happening.

“He was acting weird.” Oliver admitted “At the time I found it strange but he gave me little room to argue. Now I’m wishing I had.”

Flora’s face was indifferent but Oliver could hear the sincerity in her voice “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this. If you need a moment…”

“No” Oliver cut her off quickly “I’m good. We have a mission to do and we need to focus on that now. Afterwards we can talk about finding out what happened to the old man.”

Flora gave a simple nod before wandering over to Terri’s side, lightly kissing her cheek with affection.

Oliver took a deep calming breath: There was no point to let his mind wander, to worry about things out of his control. Even if he wanted to do something, he was needed here and now. Besides the Choir would investigate Roland’s disappearance and there were agents far more experienced than he about.

He would leave it up to them. For the moment he needed to balance out the universe and root out the evil that laid in the shadows.

[slytherinbarnes]

Sub Rosa [95]

xi. etherea

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: language, angst, anxiety.

Summary: an unexpected reunion shocks you in more ways than one.

a/n: I can’t believe we’re on 95!!! how are we so close to the end omg??!! the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist

Word of Anders' death and Diyoza’s sacrifice travels quickly, and Cadogan comes to find all of you, shocked and still standing outside the machine room door. You are all led to his personal quarters, encouraged to eat and sleep and rest, with the promise to meet again in a few hours. Miller, Raven, Hope, Jordan, and Niylah all crash in the giant bedroom, but you, Clarke, Octavia, Echo, and Gabriel are all too wired or hungry to sleep, and you sit together in the large dining room of the Shepherd. It’s not long before food, real food, not just nutrition bars, is brought to you, and you look it over before you exchange a look with the others. “They were capable of food like this the whole time? Why the hell were we eating all that bland stuff?”

“Guess they didn't want to waste it on some low level disciples.”

You wish you had enough of an appetite to eat the first real meal that’s been offered to you in ages, but your stomach is tied in knots, wrapped tight with anxiety. You shake your head and plop into a seat beside Clarke, her eyes locked on a wall across the room, and you reach out to squeeze her hand, trying to pull her out of her head. Gabriel and Octavia each take a seat at the table while Echo remains standing, choosing to pace the room as her brain processes the last few hours and what she nearly did before you all arrived. Diyoza’s death hangs over the room like a wet blanket, and though you only knew her for a few months, it still hurts you to know that she’s gone. It hurts you worse when you realize the loss that Octavia and Hope must be feeling. 

Octavia sits and picks at her food, unable to stomach it right now, but Gabriel sits nearby, hungrily eating anything within his reach, looking over all of you with a nod. “Thank God for the Flame. Doubt they'd serve us saji bowls in jail.”

Octavia eventually gives up on the prospect of stomaching anything, dropping her spoon into her bowl and looking at Gabriel in disbelief. “How could you eat right now?”

Echo looks over at Gabriel, reminding you and him of a memory that feels so long ago now, when Orlando was preparing you for your mission to Bardo. “He can always eat.”

If it were any other moment, you’d laugh. But with Diyoza’s death over your head and the looming possibility for severe punishment for both Hope and Echo, you’re too tense to laugh. Clarke must think the same thing, because she abruptly stands from her chair and glances over at the only man in the room. “Gabriel's right. If they didn't believe I had the Flame, we'd be in cells.”

She starts to cross the room, towards the door, and you stand and call out to her. “Where are you going?”

“To wake the others. It's time to go back to Sanctum.”

Gabriel glances her way, pausing his feast to shake his head. “Clarke, we're under house arrest.”

“I'm aware of that. I'm also aware our leverage disappears the moment he puts me in front of that stone.”

You lock eyes with your twin, starting to guess where this is going. “So what are you gonna do?”

“I'm gonna offer to do it as soon as the rest of you are safely back on Sanctum.” 

Octavia stands, instantly disagreeing, “Clarke, they'll kill you.”

Echo adds, “You are not sacrificing yourself for us.”

You stare at your twin, shaking your head, letting her know her plan is completely out of the question. “You’ve lost your mind if you think I’m leaving you here with these people.”

She doesn't get the chance to argue back, because the door behind her slides open, and someone announces, “Make way for the Shepherd.”

You take the few steps separating you and Clarke, so you can stand by her side, and Octavia shifts closer to the two of you. Gabriel stands and moves around the table, along with Echo, all of you united on one side, mentally preparing yourselves for anything. As the disciples step into the room, they move apart, making room for Bill before a few more disciples pull up the rear. As soon as Clarke locks eyes with Bill, she starts, “We need to talk. I'm ready to help you, but only after my friends are…”

She trails off when Cadogan turns and motions towards the door, and confused, you all turn to see what he’s motioning towards, watching as a heavily bearded man in a large coat shuffles into the room. It takes a second for you to recognize him, your eyes finding the freckles along his face and the warm eyes beneath an unruly mop of hair, but as soon as you recognize him, you nearly collapse, reaching out for Clarke as you mutter, “Bellamy?”

He nods a little, confirming what you already knew, and you swear all of the air leaves your lungs. Your knees feel weak, tears springing to your eyes and spilling over your face as your body starts to move, you and Octavia both walking towards him. But in doing so, you trigger a reaction from the room full of guards, all of them lifting weapons towards you, freezing you in place. You stare at him, stunned, and your brain struggles to form more words, stumbling over a long list of questions before you manage to gasp, “How?”

Echo, sounding just as shocked, adds, “We saw you die.”

Octavia shifts a little, and you can hear her sniffle as she stares at her big brother, in awe to see that he is alive and well. “It's hard to keep the Blakes down.”

The room is silent, no one sure what to say, but from the corner of your eye, you see Clarke glancing at you and Octavia, able to see that the two of you are practically buzzing, unable to hold back your reunions much longer. She turns her gaze to Bill, using her status as the chosen one to demand, “Let them hug him.”

He stares at her for a long second, and you think he’s going to say no, but then a smile crosses his features and he commands, “Stand down.”

You turn to look at Octavia, whose eyes are on you and you nod towards Bellamy, knowing she likely wants to hug her brother first. She smiles at you in thanks before stepping forward and tugging him into a hug, and you watch on with a smile, happy to see the reunion. Octavia steps away and makes room for you to hug him, and you glance at Clarke before you do, exchanging a silent conversation. Should you warn him? Clarke gives you an imperceptible nod, both of you aware of the dangers of Bellamy accidentally slipping up because he’s not in the loop. You’re lucky Gabriel was in the room when Clarke arrived, able to clue her in to play along, saving all of your lives as you work to get off Bardo. You step forward and pull Bellamy into your arms, relishing in the feel of him, smiling as his arms wrap around your back, returning the hug. A hug that is five years, three months, and two days in the making. A hug that you have longed for since you first arrived on Skyring. A hug you nearly drowned for, learned to play disciple for. You want nothing more than to kiss him, whisk him away to some private room and tell him everything, show him how much you’ve missed him, but you know you’ll have time for that later. Right now, you have an audience and you have a mission, so you lean forward and whisper into his ear, “The key is the Flame. They think it's still in Clarke’s head, say nothing.”

You pull away with a smile, your eyes never leaving Bellamy as Cadogan announces, “I hope that now you're ready to help us, Clarke. Too much blood has been spilled. Each death is a child of Earth who won't transcend. I'll give you time to reunite while we make preparations.”

Clarke nods in agreement, and you glance at your twin, tears on her face, just as happy to see her best friend alive. Cadogan turns and starts to leave the room, and just as he reaches the door, Bellamy speaks for the first time, his words shocking you all into silence. “My Shepherd.”

Your eyes widen and your mouth drops open a little, and you see Clarke and Octavia’s smiles drop as you all turn to stare at Bellamy, who has now turned towards Bill. “There's something you should know: Clarke doesn't have the Key. The Flame was destroyed, I'm sorry.”

You swear you’ve never been more stunned in your entire life.

And it’s only later, after Cadogan has the disciples drag everyone into a cell, after your fiance has betrayed you, that you realize something is wrong. You were so blinded by your joy at seeing him alive that you didn't even stop to really process his appearance. Not just the long hair or thick clothes, but the blank expression he gave all of you as soon as he stepped in the room. Any other time he would have burst in and tugged you and Octavia both into hugs, initiating the hugs first, not waiting for you to come to him. But now he just looks at all of you as if you’re a stranger.

And the realization hurts. The betrayal hurts too. You thought Bellamy joining Pike or not telling you about Echo was the worst thing he could ever do to you. But now you see that this is. 

Whatever the hell this actually is.

You pray to the Universe that it’s a fluke. He’s playing a part, knows something that you don't.

But something deep in your gut is telling you it’s not a fluke, and he’s not paying an angle.

Deep down, you know that Bellamy is lost to you.

Now, he’s a believer.

Now, he’s a disciple.

Which means that now, he is your enemy. 

-

next chapter

[greekowl87]

Fic: Embracing Parenthood 5/?

 Get caught up: (1) | (2) | (3) (4) or AO3

A/N: I’ve been writing while trying to figure out my depression but it’s not as much as I would like. I finally got this done and have two other things I am working on. Looking at episodes 4-D and Lord of the Flies, I decided to consolidate this chapter and do a focus on “Lord of the Flies”. I’m still not 100% on the direction this will be taking. I borrowed lines from the episode so, just an fyi. I used the transcript from Inside the X. Bit of light smut at the end.

Tagging @baronessblixen @suitablyaggrieved @today-in-fic @improlificinsarcasm

After a few more months, they seemed to finally be hitting their stride. This new...whatever it was...took some getting used to for Mulder and Scully. Aside from the one time they caught William’s mobile spinning under its own accord, they had not caught anything else. Scully was fine with this and shut down any attempt Mulder made to bring it up. She kept telling herself that their son was just fine and normal like any other baby. After a couple of weeks, Mulder gave up. It became an unspoken agreement between them. Aside from this, things at the academy and x-files remained quiet.

Agent Reyes settled in an apartment in Foggy Bottom. A few x-files have been solved. Despite Agent Reyes’s claim of an interdimensional serial killer nearly ending his life, Doggett was still alive. Mulder and Scully settled into their teaching roles at the academy, William was growing in size, and they both were beginning to believe that they were getting that happy ending that they both deserved.

On a regular Wednesday afternoon, as Mulder graded quizzes in his office, he heard a light knocking at the door. “Come in,” he called looking up from his desks.

Scully smiled at him. “How’s the grading, Agent Mulder?”

“I want to know your secret,” he confessed. He held out his hand, offering a chair across from him. She surprised him instead by taking his hand, squeezing it, and kissed him deeply. “Well, hello to you too.”

“I like this, Scully.”

“I’m glad. I have to go to New Jersey though. Agents Doggett and Reyes need my medical opinion about a matter.”

“Do you need me to tag along?”

She didn’t answer his question. She sat in the chair across from him. “Teaching suits you, Mulder. Are you happy?”

“I can do without the grading,” he confided. “So, back to the case? Is this what...for an afternoon?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Maybe. I’m sure it’s fairly straightforward. A teenager was found with half of the head collapsed in, and many flies came swarming out.”

“Flies? Is this a case of Lord of the Flies? Or Jeff Goldum’s The Fly?”

“Thankfully not. I just suspect something weird. However, I need to travel to New Jersey to lend a helping hand.”

“You never answered my question. Do you need me to tag along?”

“No. I’ve already called my mother to let her know. I’m taking a car from the pool and I’ll be stopping by the apartment before making my way to New Jersey.”

Mulder shifted uncomfortably in his chair. The suddenness of this news made him feel very uncomfortable. He did not have much time to sort through these new feelings as Scully continued. “It’s a three-hour drive from Washington. I’ll be spending the night up there. I should be back in a day or two.”

Mulder cleared his throat. “Just like that?”

She titled her head. “Why? Is there something wrong with it?”

“No,” he lied. He fiddled with the pen in front of him, rolling it back and forth on his desk. “I’ll pick up William from your mother.”

“It’s only for 48 hours,” she said.

“It’s not a big deal, Scully. Do you not have faith in me taking care of William?”

“I didn’t say that but you are pouting.”

“I’m not pouting. Look, I probably need a guy’s night anyway.”

“The Gunmen?” She asked.

“I was just thinking about me, Will, and Plan 9 From Outer Space. You know a guy’s night.”

“Maybe pick a less depressing film?”

“We’ll be fine, mom. Promise.” Scully arched her eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “Promise, Scully. Nothing will go wrong.”

Her cellphone started to ring and she sighed, looking at the caller ID. “It’s Agent Doggett,” she sighed. She got up from her chair and hastily kissed his cheek as she left. “I’ll call you when I get there. Love you.”

“Love you too.” He replied, watching her retreating form.

As the emotions welled in his chest. Mulder pushed the rest of the ungraded quizzes to the side and began to search for movies. As a psychologist, he knew pushing his emotions aside and burying them was unhealthy. He and Scully spent seven years doing that. Unfortunately, he was no longer a bachelor and had a baby to worry about as well.

* * * * * * 

Traffic was a beast in driving the length of I-95 to Quantico to drive the hour to Annapolis to Marget Scully’s house. Two accidents just added to Mulder’s sour mood. As he sat in traffic, he tried to distract himself by switching it to NPR and ultimately switched it off. As traffic inched towards Maryland, he finally identified and named just a few of the emotions that were swirling in his chest. Jealousy. Feelings of inadequacy. Sadness. 

He sighed, finally sighting the exit to Mrs. Scully’s and signaled the right turn signal. As he pulled off, he was bitterly reminded of the initial shock and awe he felt coming back from the dead. He struggled to find this place in a Twilight Zone-like universe where he no longer had the x-files and had Scully seven months pregnant. They struggled to find their footing. Mulder remembered feeling left out and bitter that Scully had a new partner in Doggett. He didn’t necessarily dislike this man. He was a good agent, just like Scully had said, but he was the one investigating x-files with Scully. Mulder wasn’t. He didn’t mind Agent Reyes either. He liked her and thought her addition to the x-files office in place of Scully would help balance the skeptical Doggett. But that didn’t stop him from feeling jealous and left out.

As he slowed, pulling into a residential neighborhood, he saw Mrs. Scully’s white sedan in the driveway and the lights throughout the house. He jogged up the front steps and raised his hand to knock. Mrs. Scully opened the door before his knuckles could rap against the wood. “Fox, I’m glad to see you weren’t caught up in traffic too badly!”

“I still hit a couple of accidents, Mrs. Scully.” He forced a smile. “Were you expecting someone?”

“What? Oh, no! I saw your headlights in the driveway. Come in! I was just about to pull out dinner.”

“I couldn’t…” he stammered out of instinct.

“Nonsense. Besides, William will be very happy to see you.”

Oh yeah, he thought, I’m a father. “You need to get past the formalities, Fox. Don’t you think Maggie will do? You are the father to my grandson after all.” Mrs. Scully was already pulling on his hand, tugging him inside before he could put up a fight. “Besides, as much as I love my daughter, Dana does not know how to cook.”

“Actually, she’s quite good,” Mulder defended.

Mrs. Scully chuckled to herself. “What I meant is she doesn’t know how to cook for a family. I raised four children by myself for the most part when the Captain was at sea. Now that William is here, I’m not going to dismiss the possibility. Take off your shoes, Fox.”

Mulder slid off his polished Oxford shoes and loosened his tie. “The possibility of what?”

Maggie stopped and smiled. “Of what could be. Come on. I bet William will be excited to see you.”

Mulder followed Mrs. Scully into the kitchen and saw his son light up. William began to babble happily and stretch his arms for his father. He smiled and bent down to kiss his forehead. “I think he is going to have Scully’s eyes.”

“They might still turn brown. I don’t know, Fox. I think William is beginning to look like you. Have a seat. Do you want a beer with dinner?”

“Water would be fine.”

Mulder sat closest to William as Mrs. Scully served them. “William was fine today,” she said. “Dana called and let me know. If it is more convenient, I can come to Georgetown and watch William tomorrow if you want.”

Mulder nodded and replied, “I would appreciate that. I wish I could simply take the time off.”

Mrs. Scully played with her shepherd’s pie. And how are you feeling, Fox with Dana in New Jersey and you here?”

He was caught off guard with the question. “What do you mean?”

“Seven years you two were practically glued together. She would always answer your calls. Now you’re here and she's out in the field.” She paused. “I know you two had some difficulties when you came back.”

He chuckled hollowly. “Not every day you come back from the dead.”

“Exactly. She was alone for six months.”

“I didn’t leave her intentionally,” he defended quietly.

“I’m not saying that you did. I’m not my oldest son, Fox.”

“I’m that bad?”

“Worse than Dana,” she chuckled. “I know what it’s like to feel left behind and on the sidelines. I imagine you felt some sort of jealousy with Agent Doggett when you first met him?”

“I, uh, punched him in the jaw.”

Mrs. Scully nodded. “Dana mentioned something about that. The point is, Fox, I know what is like feeling out of the loop when your partner is out doing something. I felt the same way when Bill was out to sea and I was left to raise four kids of my own. He would joke that I was the admiral in the family.” She gave a small smile. “And you find yourself in a similar situation.”

“I guess so,” he whispered.  He pushed his food around. “Even though we’re both teaching at the academy, it doesn’t feel the same.”

“You could always propose.”

William squealed eagerly and threw something across the table making Mulder jump. “Excuse me?”

Mrs. Scully shrugged. “I just figured after 8 years, a child, and sharing an apartment...it’s time you make it permanent, Fox.”

“I…”

She held up her hand. “You don’t have to say anything. Just think about it. In the meantime, are you sure I can’t get you anything else right now?”

“Yeah,” he stammered. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

As it neared 8 o’clock, Mulder gathered his son and Mrs. Scully piled leftovers into a brown grocery bag to walk him out. “I’ll be up by 10 tomorrow. What time will you be home?”

“About six,” he replied, shifting William in his arms. “Scully said she might be home by tomorrow.”

“Well, I’ll set one extra place at the table.”

Mulder, still feeling insecure, interrupted. “You don’t have to, Mrs. Scully. I can take care of William. I don’t want to trouble you.”

“Nonsense,” she dismissed. “I love seeing my grandson.” She kissed Mulder’s cheek goodbye. “And I don’t do these things because I pity you or think you unworthy of Dana, Fox. I do it out of love for you and William. Now, I’ll see you tomorrow!”

As the door closed behind him and Mulder tucked William into his car seat, his thoughts became distracted yet again. Scully did need him, right? He hadn’t brushed aside. And what did Mrs. Scully insinuate with their dinner conversation?

* * * * * *

A few states away in Manahawkin, New Jersey, Scully retired from examining the half-collapsed head of “Captain Dare” and the persistent flirting of Dr. Rocky Bronzino earlier than she anticipated. She politely declined the dinner invitation from Agents Doggett and Reyes as well. She found her attention drifting towards various journal articles about the Spanish fly and their mating rituals. After a few hours, Scully abandoned her research. 

She tried to take a bath and felt distracted. Her mind couldn’t wrap itself around the facts of the case. As she dressed for bed, she sleepily looked at the motel clock and saw it was nine o’clock. How could she have let time get away from her? Without a second thought, she found her cell and called the apartment’s landline. When there was no answer, she quickly called Mulder’s cell phone. He answered the third thing.

“Mulder,” he greeted automatically.

She could hear him hiding a yawn in his voice. “Mulder, it’s me,” she spoke softly. “Did I catch you at a bad moment?”

“No,” he sighed. “I just put William to bed. A late bath, a lot of crying, and a partially read bedtime story and he is down for the count. He misses you terribly.”

“I bet,” she said. Scully shifted the files around. “And what about you?”

“What about me?” He yawned again.

“How are you?”

“Tired,” he admitted simply. “And very much missing you. Your bed is too big without you. But never mind me. Tell me about the case?”

“I am dealing with a human head half-collapsed in with flies exploding it before I arrived. Agents Doggett and Reyes are chasing down a teenager suspect.”

“Oh,” he hummed. “Bugs. Is this like those teenagers from Pittsfield, Virginia, Scully?”

“Not at all,” she said. “I’m not entirely sure if this is an x-file yet. I mean it has bugs. It’s all about the bugs, Mulder.”

“Washington state. One of our first cases.” 

“Well, no one has been found cocooned in the web.”

“Yet.”

“Yet,” she repeated. Scully sighed and looked at the empty side of the motel bed. “I should be done by tomorrow evening. Hey, we have the weekend at least. One perk of teaching at the academy: normal 9-5 jobs.”

“Unless you get called away on another case.” Scully could hear a hint of bitterness in his voice. “But yeah, I’ll look forward to it.”

“Mulder, are you okay?”

She could hear the phone shifting on his end. “Hm? Yeah. I was just getting the blankets pulled down. I thought about putting William in the bassinet but I guess he needs to learn about sleeping in his room.”

Scully groaned inwardly. “You’re not helping,” she told him.

“What did I do?”

There was a weariness in his voice she could not place. “Mulder, what’s wrong? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing, nothing. Everything is okay. I’m handling it just fine.” 

She heard his voice rise defensively and the baby crying in the background. “Look, Scully. I’m going to check on William. I’ll talk to you later okay?”

“Okay but…” Mulder hung up the phone before Scully had a chance to reply. “Great.”

Scully looked back at the clock, wondering if she should call her partner back. She felt hurt about the shortness in her voice. What had happened? Did her mother say something to Mulder? Did she do something? Did something else happen to William that he wasn’t telling her? In the end, she decided not to call him back lest she wake the baby again and cause Mulder to lose any sleep. As she settled in the motel bed, she turned onto her side and swept her arm up and down the empty side. She missed being away from him and their son.

Three hours away in Georgetown, Mulder, unable to sleep found himself on the couch in front of the television. William held contently against his chest. William sleepily watched his father as Mulder settled on TCM for a black and white horror film. A small gurgling brought Mulder’s attention back to his son. “We’ll just keep daddy sleeping on the couch a secret from mom,” he said. 

William yawned and twisted his head towards Mulder’s chest. “Well, the important thing is that you’re comfortable,” Mulder continued. “You’re just like your mother; she can sleep anywhere too. I think her favorite place is to fall asleep on me.”

He shifted his attention back to the television and then back at his son. “I can’t help but feel forgotten,” he confessed to William. “I mean, your mom was all by herself when she found out she was pregnant with you and I was abducted. She got a new partner.” Mulder thought of Doggett’s straight-laced demeanor. “He is just the opposite of what I expected. And of course, I am jealous of him. He was the one watching Scully’s back because I ran off to chase down a damn UFO. Look at what that got me, Will. Six feet under.” He looked down at his son. “Does that make me a bad person?”

William met him with silence. 

“Well, I value your opinion so don’t hold back,” he told the baby. More silence except for a sleepy blink. “I think that is why I was so distant tonight. I’m jealous. I’m upset. I feel left behind.” Mulder watched his son grow sleepier. He had Scully’s blue eyes. “I feel like she’s moved on without me. I have since I came back. Even with you and all your glory, bud, I still feel inadequate.” William grabbed a fistful of Mulder’s t-shirt as his eyes grew heavier. “Are you trying to reassure me?” Mulder chuckled slightly. “I wish I could tell Scully how I felt.”

One day, he promised himself. As William drifted off to sleep, Mulder found himself wide awake still, his thoughts going to Scully and the bitterness he felt over the fact she was out in the field and he felt left behind.

* * * * *

Back in New Jersey,  Scully left the motel to head straight to the medical examiner’s office. Agents Doggett and Reyes had texted her that they were going to follow up with some matters at the high school before meeting her at the medical examiner. On her way there, Scully tried to call Mulder again first at his office and then his cell. This was the second time since last night that he hadn’t answered his phone. Trying to dismiss the growing insecurities into the back of her mind, she tried to focus on the case instead. As Scully strolled into the main medical lab, it was much to her dismay that Dr. Bronzino was waiting for her.

“Dr. Scully,” the overly tanned scientist greeted. “How are you this fine morning?”

“Well,” she greeted with some reserve. “Have Agents Doggett and Reyes arrived yet?”

“Not at all! But I’ve been examining the flies that exploded from that young man’s skull. It’s quite fascinating really. Being a forensic pathologist, you might find this particularly interesting. Have you ever heard of the coffins fly?”

Scully took a step back and forced a smile. “I can’t say I have.”

“Well, they’re amazing creatures. A female coffin fly has been known to bury its way through over two meters of dirt just to lay its eggs on the cadaver. That is the equivalent of a human digging two miles into the ground.” He flashed her a dazzling smile of whitened teeth. “Isn’t it amazing of the lengths one will go to procreate?”

“Fascinating,” she replied quickly, “but what does this have to do with the victim?”

“Oh,” the entomologist exclaimed, “all the flies that came for the young victim’s head were female. There is probably nothing to it but isn't it fascinating?”

Scully’s mind was already firing and meaning connections. “It is. And it could be nothing or it could mean everything. Did you set any aside for the examination?”

Dr. Bronzino waved to the other end of the room where the microscope was. “I was going to prepare some samples to examine.”

She moved towards the microscope. “Why don’t I start on that and you do whatever it is that you are doing, Dr. Bronzino”

“Excellent suggestion, Dr. Scully! Divide and conquer! I like the sound of that!”

“I’m sure,” she answered. 

“Which reminds me. I’m going to run back to my lab real quickly to gather another instrument of my invention. I’ll be back.”

“I’ll be here,” she said.

Scully was secretly glad to see him retreat as she set to work. She laid out her research of flies that she had started the night before and her morning coffee. She paused, trying to collect her thoughts before she delved into the day’s work, however, she couldn’t. Her thoughts kept going back to the abrupt conversation that she had with Mulder the night before. He sounded distant and aloof. She was reminded of his jealousy when he came back from the dead. She found her phone and dialed his office at Quantico. At nine a.m., he should have been strolling right then. However, it went straight to messages. She hung up before she could leave one. Growing disgruntled, Scully called the Georgetown apartment. To her surprise, it was her mother that answered.

“Hello?” Her mother answered.

“Hi, mom,” she greeted quickly. “What are you doing at the apartment?”

“Oh, I thought I would save Fox driving to drop off William with me this morning,” she said. “One less hassle to do. I also picked you and Fox up some groceries that you desperately needed.”

“We were fine,” she said. “Where is Mulder? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” her mom replied vaguely. “I found him sleeping on the couch last night with the tv on. William must have kept him up all night.”

She felt a twinge of regret twist her heart. “Is he okay?”

“I guess so. He seemed fine and left for the office with no issue. Why? Is there something that I should be aware of?”

“No, no,” Scully said. She pushed the thoughts of insecurity deep down. Now was not the time. “He seemed distracted last night. We only chatted briefly. Is William okay?”

“He’s a fat, happy baby who can sleep through anything. Just like you were. I’m here until Fox comes home if you need anything. Do you want me to tell Fox that you called?”

“No, no. Everything’s fine.”

Her mother was silent on the other end. “Well, if you do need anything, Dana, I’m here with William. Love you.”

“Love you too, mom.”

She hung up her phone and tried to ignore the new signs that taunted her. Nothing was fine except she was not going to say anything. Scully sat at the microscope and began to work.

A couple of hours later, Dr. Rocky Bronzino rejoined her with a crude-looking invention to he promised to give a giant break in the case. She half-listened to ramble on about the various mating rituals of insects until she noticed a pattern emerging with the insects. It took Bronzino to confirm her suspicions and identify the peculiar fact about the case. As she continued to examine the flys, at a quarter till noon, Agents Reyes and Doggett walked in. Scully looked at both of them and announced, “I’m glad you’re here. I think we just got our first real break in the case.”

“What did you find?” Reyes asked.

“Well, it's what the entomologist Rocky Bronzino found. The flies that ate at the brain and skull of the victim are all female. Every last one of them.” Scully motioned to a fly under the microscope as she spoke. 

Doggett looked towards Monica Reyes and asked, “Exactly how is that a break”

Scully thought for a moment and answered, “Well, what are the chances of that?”

Agent Reyes clarified, “You mean that the absence of males suggests there's a reason for the attack. Behaviourally.”

“Well, something biological is going on. Whether it's hormonal or chemical something has caused these bugs to attack,” Scully theorized.

Doggett added, “Or a need to express themselves.”

Scully asked, “To what?”

Agent Doggett continued, “This is a kid that calls himself "Sky Commander Winky." Agent Reyes and I were interviewing him as a suspect when this happened.” He showed photos of the victim’s back were the words ‘DUMB ASS’ shined a bright, red welt. “The paramedics arrived and treated him for an aggressive attack of bodily lice.”

She took the photos to examine them closer. “Hmm. Lice are not altogether uncommon in a school environment.”

Doggett snorted. “Except that these are better spellers than most of the kids.”

“Maybe they stayed late for after-school lessons,” she snorted. “So what are you saying? That this is just another dumb ass stunt?”

Reyes interjected, “Well, that was my first thought. But the victim here was just too freaked out by this incident to make me believe he'd staged this. Which leads me to think that while you may be right about this being a matter of biology, someone is directing the biology.”  She paused. “Maybe you might want to consult Mulder?”

“Why?” Doggett asked. “These are bugs we are talking about.”

“And how does one direct bugs?” She added.

Reyes shrugged and replied, “I don't know how but we've been running down a long list of witnesses.” She passed Scully the rest of the photographs. “A loner who was present at every dumb ass stunt and who had a run-in with this kid Winky at school just prior to the lice attacking. His name is Dylan Lokensgard. We're going to want to talk to him.”

“He seems like a promising start,” Scully replied. “Dr. Bronzino should be back soon. He promised to bring a piece of equipment that will help break the case.”

“We’ll be back then. Call us if you have anything. Let’s head back, Monica.”

“I’ll call you when I have something,” Scully replied.

She watched the two agents retreating. She glanced at the clock on the wall and did the math in her head. She probably wasn’t going to be home that evening that she had promised.

* * * * * *

Having Mrs. Scully watch William in Georgetown instead of Maryland was a bigger relief than Mulder had realized. Although he hit traffic on the way to Quantico, the extra hour of not driving had put him in a somewhat fairer mood. However, as the morning dragged on and he did not hear anything from Scully began to sour his fair mood. By lunch, he was mad. Well not mad, but pouting and being gloomy. If Scully were here, she would have chewed him out and told him to pull his head out of his ass. But that was just it. Scully wasn’t here to do that.

As noon droned on, Mulder heard a light knocking at his door and looked up with some surprise to see A.D. Skinner standing in the doorway. “Wow, Mulder. Even having an office out of the basement and looking depressed as hell.”

“And it’s good to see you too, sir.” Mulder rose to greet the man and offered his hand. “I suspect you did not come down to comment on my office.”

“No.” Skinner paused. “I had a meeting I needed to attend. I wanted to check in on you and see how things were. You know, just to see if you threaten to burn down the establishment yet.”

“Haha,” Mulder said lamely. “No. Things are normal. Just perfectly normal.”

“And you are a terrible liar. Why don’t you come to lunch, Mulder? Get your head out of your ass and get some fresh air.”

“I’m fine where I am,” he said.

“And I know you well enough to know when you’re lying. You’re jealous aren’t you?”

“About what?”

“I know Scully’s out in the field,” Skinner stated, “and you’re not.”

“Way to rub it in.” Mulder glanced at his computer clock and relented. “Fine, fine. It isn’t like I have anything else to do today.”

“Good. You could use the distraction.”

. . . . . . 

Back in New Jersey, Doggett and Reyes were still canvassing the school looking for more witnesses, Scully found herself out in the streets with the brazen etymologist, Dr. Rocky Bronzino. His continued efforts of flirting with her wearing down on her last nerves. She surveyed the empty street and how idyllic it reminded her. Dr. Bronzino focused on the tool he had brought from his lap that was designed to help them. He took a step back from the tracker to examine the surroundings.

“So many flowers ... so little time,” he murmured

Scully looked up from the trunk of the Land Rover. “Excuse me?”

The etymologist stated excitedly. “Pheromones, Dr. Scully. Heavy in the air. Nature's natural attractions. Driving the insect world to go forth and pollinate.”

As Dr. Bronzino began to advance on her, she took a few steps back. She shifted her gaze to the device he had brought with him. “I'm aware of how pheromones work. But according to this device, there isn't a single pheromone to be found out here.”

He began to tweak his machine and Scully rolled her eyes, looking back up to the sky. She smirked, remembering the time she was with Mulder when frogs rained from the sky. Dr. Bronzino was growing frustrated. “Well, that can't be right. The biosensor uses an actual fly antenna over which the pheromones pass. But I modified the EAG to measure in picograms which makes it sensitive to traces a mile in any direction.”

Scully watched an overly casual Rocky lean against the car, a confident hand on his hip, as he tried to charm her. Scully tried to remain professional and keep them on track. “But I'm still not sure why you think that pheromones might cause an otherwise harmless fly to attack a human so violently, Doctor…”

“Rocky,” he corrected. His whitened teeth shined as brightly as he flirted with her.

“Rocky,” she repeated 

He smiled, thinking his charm was working. “Bugs are small-minded creatures, and therefore very predictable. They don't have moods. They react to circumstance and stimuli as they have been doing for millennia.”

“How wonderful.” She tried to keep it professional. “So what do you suppose they're reacting to out here?”

Dr. Bronzino puffed out his chest like a mating dove and took a few steps forward. “It may be the bugs are being somehow driven crazy with desire. You know, they say we humans respond to pheromones, too.”

Scully put her hands on her hips, clearly uncomfortable. “Yeah, I tend to agree with that, yeah.”

Rocky pressed on. “‘Women's dormitory syndrome.’ It's believed that pheromones are the reason that women who live together share the same menstrual cycle.” 

“Fascinating,” she deadpanned.

Dr. Bronzino felt emboldened. “You know, when a male and female calliphorid fly mate they stay joined for up to one and a half hours. One and a half, doctor.” He punctuated the last few words for emphasis. “What do you think of that?”

Scully stood unfazed. This was not the first time she had to deal with this, however, this time was different. “You know, Rocky ... I'm a mother.”

He arched an eyebrow, not dissuaded. He looked at her left hand. “Mothers are women, too.” He took a moment to look at Scully surveying her. “I noticed a lack of a ring. And what does it matters? Women have biological needs, just like men do.”

“You are drawing dangerous conclusions without lack of evidence, doctor.”

“Well, as a trained scientist, I observe you are a woman. There is no ring on your finger to denote a marriage or a serious relationship in what we consider legally.”

“I can assure you that I am very serious. I am in a committed, nine-year relationship with the baby’s father.”

“Well, he is not here. You are.”

“Doesn’t matter, Rocky. Let’s keep focused here, please.”

“Well, relationships aren’t known to be monogamous,” he countered. 

“Seahorses, macaroni penguins, gray wolves, barn owls, and bald eagles,” she said.

“What do those animals have to do with relationships?”

“If you were a real scientist,” she pressed, “you would be aware of some of the animal species that are known to mate for life. There are some cracks in your argument. ”

“Well, there are numerous insects that perform a variety of mating rituals. Give it time, Dr. Scully and I’ll win you over.” She was about to reply but was interrupted by the beeping of the pheromone bio-sensor. Dr. Bronzino turned excitedly to the machine. “Big hit!”

“What is it?”

“A high concentration of c-13 calliphorone...incoming.” He looked up at the sky. Scully did the same and heard the beeping increase and then suddenly dissipate. “What? What happened?” He quickly went to check his machine.

“Nothing, apparently,” Scully commented drily. “We should get back to the lab. Agents Doggett and Reyes might have something for us there.”

“Are we going to continue our discussion of animal mating and ritual habits?” He asked, his voice heavily laced with innuendo.

“As far as I’m concerned, it’s done.”

“Dr. Scully, are you blushing? As the great Charles Darwin once said, ‘Blushing is the most peculiar and most human of all expressions.’”

“Don’t make me shoot you,” she sighed.

“I consider it a challenge.”

. . . . . .

“How do you like teaching at the academy,” Skinner asked. He watched Mulder use his plastic fork to push the mac and cheese around on his plate. “Mulder?”

“Um, interesting. A lot better than having to deal with the profiling cases in VCU even though I’m sure I will come calling. That’s part of the deal with teaching? We help out and consult as needed.”

“Are you that bitter that Scully is on an x-file and you’re not,” he asked.

“Am I that obvious?” Mulder asked.

“I’ve had hemorrhoids that weren’t as annoying with you,” he replied. “Or is it the fact that you don’t have the x-files anymore?”

The bluntness of Skinner’s observations caught Mulder off guard. He looked up from his food and took a few moments to reflect. “In theory, I shouldn’t. I have Scully and our son, things are about as normal as we can make them. But I can’t help but feel connected to them in some way. Seeing Scully out in the field, me not there…” He shrugged. “It brings up a lot of baggage.”

“Especially with Doggett?”

Mulder was quiet. “I blame myself. I should have stayed with her instead of chasing UFOs.”

“Doggett’s a good agent, Mulder. It was hard watching her, Mulder, during those months she was gone. Having to keep her pregnancy a secret. It was tough.” Skinner took a napkin and wiped his mouth. “You know, Sharon used to get mad at me when we first got married. I was still a field agent but the jealousy she would get. She felt inadequate with everything that was going on between us. Said she felt left behind.”

Well, Mulder thought, certainly hitting everything on the topic. Skinner continued to stare at Mulder. “And?” he asked. “What did Sharon do?”

“Well, we had a real nasty fight that was the start of our quarrels at the very beginning of our quarrels. I was in the field, missed an important date, you know how it goes.” He smiled to himself, remembering her. He thumbed at the wedding band thoughtfully. “But we made time. Communication wise. It didn’t always go well but we tried.”

“So, in addition to being an assistant director, you are secretly a marriage counselor. Wow, sir.”

“Knock it off, Mulder. All I am saying is that something is bothering you about this...arrangement, then make sure you take the time to talk to Scully.”

Mulder nodded. He decided to change the subject. “So, how is our old buddy Kersh?”

Skinner chuckled. “Tap dancing his way on the top floor so that you’re no longer there to bother him.”

“Well, at least some things never change,” he answered. “My advice, Mulder, from one man who tried to balance a career and relationship? Make sure you always leave time to talk and communicate. If not, the whole thing can go to shit.”

“Thanks, sir,” he nodded. His mind drifted to Scully. “I appreciate the advice. You should come down to Quantico more often. Skinner’s Lunch Hour wisdom.”

“Knock it off, Mulder,” he dismissed.

. . . . . . . 

After getting John’s call from the school, Scully took her car to investigate and meet them there. According to Monica, Dylan had somehow controlled the bugs during their confrontation. She was surprised by the number of cops, firefighters, and EMTs. She was even surprised to see people in hazmat suits. But to her surprise, Monica had found them a clue.  A used tissue.  They rode back to the medical examiner. As they rode the elevator to the second floor. Scully was the first to emerge carrying the tissue in a metal container with Doggett and Reyes flanking her. “Where did you get this again?” She asked.

“Dylan Lokensgard provided it to us when we interviewed him,” Doggett answered.

“I have to warn you, there's typically not a lot to be found in a teenage boy's sweaty kleenex.”

“Well, a teenage boy can produce other things,” Reyes replied.

“Don’t remind me of the future,” Scully laughed thinking of William.

“But we were looking for pheromones. Aren't there pheromones produced in adolescent sweat?” Reyes continued.

“Yes, it's what causes B.O., But all too obviously it's not all that attractive--to anything,” Scully countered. “While I was out with Dr. Bronzino this morning, we thought we had a possible hit this morning but it turned out to be nothing.”

“A possible hit?” Doggett asked.

“Well, Dr. Bronzino was more than trying to hit on pheromones.”

“Well, at least Mulder isn’t here to punch him in the face,” Doggett chuckled. 

“Yeah,” she said distantly. Scully’s brief thought of Mulder drifted away as she entered into the medical examiner’s office where Dr. Bronzino was bent over a microscope. She still needed to call him. The lack of communication between them was growing. “Let’s see what we uncover.”

As they entered, the biosensor’s beeps became progressively faster, startling the etymologist grew excited. “Finally! I knew it wasn’t broken!” He glanced up seeing Scully, Doggett, and Reyes. “Dr. Scully, I’m so glad you’re back! I've got a reading here that's going right off the scale. Holy Toledo! We've got pheromones coming out of the ying-yang here. C-13 calliphorene and how.”

As they got closer, the beeping became a steady tone, and then suddenly stopped. Doggett raised an eyebrow. “What happened?”

“I think my electroantennogram just... tilted,” Bronzino spoke in disbelief.

“What's c-13 calliphorone?” Reyes asked.

“Insect pheromone,” Scully supplied.

Dr. Bronzino’s attention shifted to the sample the FBI agents had brought. “Where did you find this mother lode?”

Agent Reyes answered, “A boy named Dylan Lokensgard. That specimen came from him.”

Rocky Bronzino sputtered, “A boy ... is secreting bug pheromones? That's impossible. Preposterous.”

Doggett glanced at Scully who met his gaze, trying to hide her smirk. He glanced back at the doctor. “You're the expert, Dr. Bronzino. How else do you explain it, then?”

When he didn’t respond, Scully asked, “Rocky?”

“A boy is a boy, a bug is a bug. You can't have it both ways,” he explained trying to wrap his mind around it, “science doesn’t allow it. Period.”

“I have a few theories,” Scully began, “Okay, so this boy's going through puberty, right? I mean, maybe his body chemistry is somehow just going crazy and it's his raging teenage hormones that are attracting all these insects.”

Reyes nodded in thought. “What if it's more than chemistry and hormones? More than biology? Dylan's not just attracting these bugs he's using them to act out.”

“Yes, but against what?” Scully asked.

“We saw him talking to a girl,” Reyes answered.

“Well, that makes sense. In a way. Teenage love,” Doggett connected. “The girl is the one in the dumb ass video. Captain dare's girlfriend.”

“How on Earth are you all making these connections,” Rocky said.

“We’ve experienced with cases like these,” Scully said. “Agent Doggett, why don’t you and Agent Reyes try to chase down the girl and check on her. Dr. Bronzino and I will check on Dylan.”

“We will?” He asked, confused.

“We are,” Scully confirmed. “Call each other in about two hours and meet back here?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Doggett nodded.

. . . . . .

It was evening by the time they got to the Lokensgards’ home. As Scully and Bronzino pulled up in front of Dylan Lokensgard’s house, her mind was elsewhere. She did not remember to call Mulder. As they walked up the sidewalk to the front door, Scully slowed and saw the front door slightly open. Scully slowed and drew out her flashlight. She knocked lightly on the door. “Mrs. Lokensgard? Dylan?” She called out.

Rocky Bronzino behind her was fiddling with the machine, trying to fix it, and it started emitting a series of steady beats. “Ah, got it! I'm getting a reading here. Trace levels inside the house.”

Scully shifted her gaze and replied, “Well, I guess that's probable cause.” Scully began her trek up the stairs when she was stopped by Rock Bronzino. “What now?”

Bronzino said quickly, “Dr. Scully? I just wanted to say this while I had a chance.” He smiled with bleached teeth. “This is so exciting. I've never had a partner before. And this isn’t a thing. This is a professional collaboration that happens only one time.”

Scully thought of Mulder and felt her heart twist. “I have. Don’t forget what I told you, Dr. Bronzino.”

“Semantics, Dr. Scully. I'd like to think of it as a hymenopteran relationship. Two scientists using their special knowledge reaching higher than either of them could ever reach alone. And if I may say so, Doctor, you complete me.”

“I’ve already completed. I already have a partner. I’ve told you this. Now, I got upstairs, you takedown.” She shook her head and thought of Mulder. She needed to call him once this was done.

“All right,” he exclaimed, “Partner!”

She rolled her eyes and jogged up the stairs. As she slowly examined the upstairs, her thoughts drifted back to Mulder and how she hadn’t communicated with him. Or her mother. As she neared Dylan’s room, Scully spied Natalie’s class picture on the bed. As her phone rang, she jumped, digging it out. “Scully?”

“Where are you?” It was John Doggett. He sounded rushed.

She looked around the room. “I’m with Dr. Branzino at the Lokengard’s house. But there’s nobody here.

“Yeah, well, I'm afraid the kid's on a tear. He's caused a car accident out here on Glenhaven road,” Doggett explained.

“How'd he do that?”

“You'd better see for yourself.”

“I’m on my way.”

Scully turned to make her downstairs while Rocky was just getting his equipment working properly. He looked up. “It’s everywhere, Dr. Scully. C-13 calliphorone. I'm getting a stiff new reading from up here.”

Scully nodded, “Yeah, Dylan's bedroom's up there. That’s probably what you’re reading. Unfortunately, he's not in it.”

“Where are you going?”

“The kid's on a rampage. I’m going to meet Agent Doggett.” The pheromone machine began to beep loudly and Dr. Bronzino cried in surprise. She called, “You got my number.”

Dr. Bronzino smiled and called out. “Does that mean you’ve changed your mind, Dr. Scully?”

“Not in your wildest dreams, Rocky.”

. . . . . . 

Mulder came home, hoping to see, Scully but his heart fell when it was only Mrs. Scully smiling with William. He should be happy to have his son but he was missing his partner more. After a simple dinner and promises of coming to dinner Saturday night, Mrs. Scully left Mulder alone with William on a Friday night. William was quick to fall asleep and Mulde put him to bed. He surveyed the empty apartment. It felt foreign without Scully there with him.

He went back to the couch and tried to get comfortable. Flipping on the TV, he found the Sports Center. He glanced at his cell phone. He checked it one last time before turning it off. If she wasn’t busy saving the world without him, she would find a way to let him know what is going on.

. . . . . 

As Scully drove to meet Agent Doggett, her phone started to ring again. She sighed and answered, “Scully.”

“Agent Scully,” Doggett’s voice filtered through the voice piece, “I need you to turn around and go back to Dylan’s house. Monica just called. She got knocked out and Natalie is gone. I think Dylan got her.”

“Is Agent Reyes okay?”

“Yes, I think so. I found her covered in some sort of web. Like a spider.”

Scully’s mind flashed to one of the first cases she and Mulder had on what was supposed to be a walk through the forest. “Call the EMTs and make sure they bring hazmat gear. I’m on my way back to Dylan’s house.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

“Take care of Agent Reyes first. And call back up for me as well.”

“You got it. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

She tried to dial Rocky’s number but it was disconnected. As Scully pulled back up at the Lokensgard home, it was still eerily quiet and something felt amiss. She drew her weapon and flashlight and took a few steps in. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Natalie Gordon, the girl that Doggett and Reyes had been after, sitting in a chair and crying. She asked, “Where are they?” Natalie shook her head, unable to speak. “Natalie!”

Natalie’s crying continued. She pointed upstairs wordlessly. Scully pointed her weapon upstairs and began to make her way to the attic. She widened her eyes in disbelief to see large human-sized sacs of web hanging from various positions. She instantly recalled the mysterious web-slinging, glowing insects from Washington state and how her, Mulder, and the park ranger were almost swallowed alive. As she examined them, a small voice emitted, “Help me. Dr. Scully, help me!”

Scully bent down to tear off the web. “Dr. Bronzino?”

“It’s the boy! And the mother!”

“Where are they?”

“I don’t know.” His voice sounded faint. “I don’t feel so good.”

In the distance, she could hear sirens. That must have been Doggett and Reyes coming with the cavalry. She tried to tear the webbing away as she heard the sirens sound to a stop. Bronzino looked faint suddenly and lolled his head backward and his eyes shut. She dragged him out and checked for a pulse. Feeling one, although faint, she began CPR. She heard footsteps running up the stairs and as the flashlight shined on her. 

“Agent Scully!” Doggett greeted. “Is that Branzino?”

“He was in one of the web sacks,” she explained quickly, continuing CPR.

“He’s smiling,” Reyes observed.

“He’s what?”

Scully looked down to see Bronzino with his eyes closed but he was smiling. “That sonofabitch,” she cried. 

Caught up in the moment, she slapped him against the cheek and got to her feet. The smack was resounding and caused Dr. Bronzino to sit up suddenly and place his hand against the red cheek. “What kind of care was that?”

“A dose of reality,” she snapped. “Make sure the EMTs check him out.”

“I thought we were partners,” he pouted.

“We worked together on this one case. That’s it.” She turned to Doggett and Reyes. “I found him cocooned up like these unknown victims. I had seen something like this once before when I first started on the x-files. That might be worth checking out.”

“We will,” Doggett said, trying to fight from grinning. “But um, do you find any signs of Dylan?”

“Gone. How is Natalie?” Scully answered.

“Fine. Shaken up but I think she’ll be okay,” Reyes said, trying to fight the urge to laugh.

“What?” Scully asked. She turned as the two agents stared at Bronzino who was now trying to charm a female EMT about his close brush with death. “Oh, come on!”

“I’m just saying,” Doggett said. “If Mulder were here, he would have slugged the guy.”

“Just because you were on the receiving end of the man’s fist once, John doesn’t mean he would slug another guy.”

Scully rolled her eyes and cast one lingering glance at Bronzino. “Speaking of Mulder, I need to call him.”

“Let him know about the human fly trap?” Doggett grinned.

“Both of you knock it off,” she grumbled. 

“Agent Scully,” one of the police officers called, “I need to get your statement!”

“Can it wait?”

“I’m afraid not, ma’am unless you want to do it in the morning,” the officer said.

Scully sighed. “Fine, fine, I’ll do it tonight.”

Her plans of going home or evening calling Mulder disappeared as she was left with Agents Doggett, Reyes, and the cops investigating the scenes.

. . . . . .

Saturday morning. The sun was just peeking through the windows of the Georgetown apartment as Mulder sipped his coffee. He was preparing to wake William up to take him to do a morning run to the shop down the street for donuts and a newspaper. Despite the jealousy and sour feelings, he had with Scully being in the field, being home on a Saturday morning with his son was nice.

His attention was drawn to the door when he heard a key sliding into the lock, the deadbolt turning, and the door open. In came Scully, still wearing the suit from the night before. She came in, kicked off her boots, and dropped her keys on the table next to the door. She sighed and Mulder stood quietly. “You look like you’ve had a tough case,” he called softly.

Scully looked surprised. “You’re awake.”

“I’m not much of one for sleep. You should know that by now,” he replied. “You didn’t call.”

“I’m sorry,” she started. Her tired mind tried to piece the past 24 hours. “I got busy and distracted. Everything came to a head last night. I didn’t want to wait to see you so I drove through the night…”

“You drove through the night,” he said.

“Yeah.” 

“As a doctor, you should know better.” He made his way to her in a few steps and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Scully was shocked by the greeting but relaxed a few seconds later. Her arms came under his and she hugged him tightly. Mulder squeezed his eyes tightly and buried his face into her hair and breathed deeply. “I missed you.”

Scully buried her face into her chest. His cotton shirt smelled of William, old sweat, and just home. “I missed you too.” She lifted her head and kissed him. Mulder smiled and kissed her deeply, not relinquishing his grasp. She chuckled tiredly. “You missed me.” 

“Words fail to describe it.”

She smiled again and looked about the empty apartment. “Where is William?”

“Still sleeping. He’ll wake up in another hour or so. What about you? When was the last time you slept?”

“I napped at the station before I hit the road.”

“You’re a doctor,” he admonished. 

“I know, I know.”

“So you know bed rest is the thing you need right now. I’ll call your mother later and cancel dinner plans.”

“Dinner plans?”

Mulder nodded. “We thought you were coming home last night so we were going to have dinner as a family. No worries. We can do it tomorrow.”

“Mom usually goes to church first thing.”

“I’m sure she’ll make an exception.”

Scully was already moving towards their son’s bedroom. The need to see her son was killing her. She opened the door slowly to see William still sleeping soundly. “He sleeps like you but like clockwork, he’ll be up ready for his bottle. We were going to run to the store to get donuts and the Saturday paper. I can pick you up for breakfast if you want?”

“That’d be nice.”

At the sound of his mother’s voice, William sleepily opened his eyes and gurgled happily. “He was up earlier, about three, with a diaper. Go ahead. I’ll get his bottle ready and get you some coffee. Unless you want to change.”

“No, no, this is fine.”

Scully bent down to pick up her son, cradled him, and sat in the rocking chair. Mulder smiled at the image before he went to fetch the bottle and coffee. As he came back and saw Scully, still disheveled from her case, smiling and cooing at their son, the anger and bitterness he had been nursing the past few days momentarily vanished.

. . . . . .

“Is William asleep?”

“Yeah,” Mulder replied, crawling into bed with her. “He’ll probably be up around two or three. He’s been consistent the past few nights with you gone. Don’t worry about it. I’ll take the first shift when he wakes up.”

Scully flipped the covers down for him further. “I missed this.”

“Missed what?”

“You, William, us.”

Skinner’s advice came back to him suddenly and Mulder said, “I have something to ask you. Rather something to tell you?”

“What?”

“I was quite moody and jealous when you were gone. I felt...I felt left behind,” he confessed searching for the right words. “I know I screwed up being abducted and dying and putting you through all that before William was born. With you gone…” He sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“You did nothing wrong. I may have gotten caught up in the work,” she said. Scully reached for his hand. “But this parenthood thing, our relationship, we just need to strike a balance and find out what that is. I enjoyed Saturday with you and William. That’s something we wouldn’t have if we were still on the x-files.”

“True. But I still feel bad.” He pulled her suddenly towards her and she let out a yelp of surprise. He kissed her neck and nuzzled her pajama top open. “William can sleep through anything. And, correct me if I’m wrong, doctor, you’ve healed enough.”

She giggled and slide down so he had better access. “On the case, there was this etymologist that had helped us. Rocky Bronzino. The man kept flirting with me to no end. He ended up in a cocoon…”

“A cocoon you say,” Mulder murmured. 

His fingers were already unbuttoning her pajama top, his hand sinking beneath the elastic waistband of her undergarments. She shivered to feel his fingers touch her. “Yes. I got to say I was in a relationship,” she smiled. She sought more kisses from him. “Publicly. Openly. I am in a committed relationship with my partner.”

Mulder smiled and whispered, “You sound so sexy saying that.”

“What? I am in a committed relationship with my partner?”

“Yes.” Scully found herself topless and pulled off Mulder’s shirt. “He made me perform CPR on him.”

Mulder paused. “He did what?”

“Don’t worry. I gave him a good dose of reality.” She snickered. “By slapping him.”

“There’s the Agent Scully I know,” he breathed. “And good. I don’t share.”

Scully let him continue his ministrations, relishing being home and with him again. Her thoughts about the case as she just let herself be present and let herself be free. Mulder moved and loved her, silently thanking whoever was listening he had her and William in his life. After a passionate reunion, Scully cuddled against Mulder, resting her head on his heart. “I missed you.”

He held her and gently played with her hair. “I missed you too.”

On the baby monitor, William began to make noses, crying from one of his parents. “I got it,” Mulder whispered. He kissed her quickly. “And you’re right, we’ll try to find a balance.”

Scully laid back down in bed and watch his naked behind jog to the nursery. She lay back down to watch the shadows on the ceiling and he was back five minutes later. Mulder slid effortlessly back next to her, embracing her again. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “He was just talking in his sleep. Like you do.”

“You mean you,” she yawned. 

“I mean you.” He pulled her closer. “It’s good to have you home, Scully.”

“It’s good to be home.”

[allandoflimbo]

Ashens (Part 3)

Summary: She falls in love with Bucky Barnes from the moment she sees him. Bucky, still in love with a woman from his past, hates Y/N and plans to make her life miserable. To both their dismay, they are assigned together to go undercover into The Capitol for six months. There, they develop a heartbreaking friend with benefits agreement. Dystopian.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 3,036

Rating: M for Mature, E for explicit. Enemies to lovers trope, sharing a bed trope, friends with benefits trope, temporarily unrequited love, heavy angry sex, heavy on the angst, and very strong language.

Full Masterpage

Month: February

Year: 2021

It had been three years since you saw your parents being murdered in your living room and since the civil war started.

Society had fallen.

First, it was the fight for the cure, then it was the fight for protection. Next, came the riots, the fight for food, and eventually, it all became a survival of the fittest.

Electricity and communication were no more. You don’t even remember the last time you saw a working TV. Family was no more. Violence and dishonesty were now the brutal answer.

These days, protection came in the form of clothing you owned and how much you had of it. After it became apparent that this virus was actually a bacteria born and flesh-eating disease, everyone did what they could to try and keep their skin protected as much as possible. It ate through the skin and took over your body like a plague. Heavy clothing equaled less chance of being infected. It didn’t take very long for clothing stores to be looted along with the grocery and drug stores.

Eventually, you’d have to make use of any clothing you found on dead bodies that were killed by assassination and not by the virus itself. You couldn’t risk that.

But even that was rare to come by. Everyone jumped at the opportunity of a clothed dead corpse. Whether it was for the scarf, the pants, shoes, or socks.

During the riots, most of the homes had all been destroyed either by fire or vandalism. Some tainted by dead bodies; murder scenes. Some eaten by the virus. You didn’t want to live in a home that was infected. Destroyed homes were ruined by the winter’s harsh snowstorms and the summer’s heavy rainfall. Because of their collapsed ceilings mixed in with the weather, it all eventually began to mold and collapse.

Life was no more, happiness and serenity were gone, except for in The Capitol.

No one could get inside The Wall. You heard rumors that it was guarded by heavy military and machine guns, and all of Hydra.

The Capitol was a place where your parents had planned for every single one of you to make use of to help you survive and live a happy life. It was supposed to be a safe haven, not this.

It was now the place that had been savagely stolen by Hydra and the evil rich. The migration into The Capitol had happened very soon after your parent’s death. The rich, elite, privileged, and only some certain politicians, were taken in.

The other politicians, you heard in rumors, had either killed themselves or were killed by other government officials, just like your parents had been. You heard rumors that this had been an undercover mission for years. They all knew how to take over the moment it was necessary.

Even the doctors and scientists had been taken with them. And you wondered if it was at their own will. Meanwhile, everyone else - people like you and Will and simple middle-class families with children - were forced to fight each other to stay alive.

A bloodbath.

The first few months you and Will had refused to fight anyone for food. That wasn’t in your moral plans. But it had eventually come a day when neither of you had eaten in three days, and the only thing left, in a dirty store off Route 95, was a loaf of bread. You, Will, and this random girl all argued until you eventually agreed on splitting it into three pieces.

The girl had been chewing her piece, devouring like she hadn’t eaten in days when her eyes landed on the tattoo on your neck, and immediately you knew she knew who you were. Her eyes grew dark and she jumped at the chance to attack you when Will came from behind, hitting her on the back of the head with a heavy bucket, making her pass out.

You knew that no one really knew what happened to your family. They all think it was your parent’s intentions for all of these horrible things to have happened. They blame you and your family for this. This only made you want to avenge your parents even more and even Will knew. This life wasn’t what they wanted, and it’s not what you wanted either.

You had been sitting one night, in the middle of a forest in Connecticut around a blazing fire, eating a fish you had just caught with your handmade spear. It had fed you both for many months. Will smiled over the fire at you, licking the meat off the bone clean.

“We’ll get there, Y/N.”

You stared at the fire in a daze. You hadn’t lost hope. Or at least you don’t think you did. Your feet had been bare for weeks and they were starting to chafe and bleed.

You wouldn’t admit it, but part of you did lose a little hope. You feared the first snowfall of the year. It was almost comical to you how your last worry at the moment was frostbite.

You took a deep breath, enjoying the taste of the Tilapia. You wrapped your heavy scarf over your shoulders.

“I know, I’m just tired. I wish I had more strength, I wish we had more strength. There’s two of us and thousands of them, Will.”

It was the first sign of doubt you had shown in months, and it surprised Will slightly.

“I know, but we can do it. I know we can.” he licked his fingers clean and then laid down on the wet and cold grass, his hands behind his head.

Could you do it? You weren’t sure anymore. You knew you wanted to kill Hydra and you wanted to overtake The Capitol. But were you two really capable of doing that? Have you two been delusional this entire time?

“Its been three years. Three years.” You said softly. Exhausted.

“True, but we’re young. And we’re smart. We have an advantage they don’t. That.” He bent one of his legs and stared up at the scars, a small smile tainting his lips, “We could always call The Avengers.”

You scoffed, running your hands through your hair as you threw the bare spine into the fire. You were a bit sad you finished it, your tummy still turning in hunger.

“What Avengers? Hydra destroyed their home, everything. They tried to fight and they lost. Worst than when Thanos beat them. And to make matters worse, this is a virus, it’s not something they can necessarily control. They’ve become overpowered, even the damn Avengers are overpowered now by Hydra. This is like a horror movie that will never end. It’s time we face the facts.”

Will smirked.

“I don’t know if I buy it. You mean to tell me even Bruce fucking Banner couldn’t break that damn wall?”

You gave him a glare.

“I don’t think the goal here is to break The Wall. If anything that would ruin the purpose, don’t you think?” you picked up a small and harmless rock and threw it at his chest, making him cringe, “dipshit.”

Will continued to stare up at the stars.  The night was midnight black, and now since there was no longer any electricity, you could even see the milky-way.

“I don’t see this ending badly.”

You wish you had his good heart and good soul. You furrow your brows at him.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

“This whole thing. We’ll fix it, I know we will. I don’t know how, but it will happen. I’m sure of it.”

You consider his words and nod. You slowly take your time to get up and walk over to where he is. You pull your heavy apocalyptic-style hood over your head and scooch over closer to him. You cross your own arms behind your head, also looking up at the stars. They looked beautiful, and for the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to feel even a little bit serene.  This is why you enjoyed Will. He was your best friend and your guardian angel.

“You really think so?” You ask.

Will turned his head over and looked at you. You did the same thing, staring back into his eyes.

You were suddenly afraid; afraid of losing your friend. What would you do without a good soul like him to keep you sane and strong?

“I do.” There was no trace of doubt in his voice.

Still, you tried to believe him, you really did.

You and Will began to fend for survival. You often thought of killing your parent’s murderer when you would both be laying under a tree in the cold of the night trying to fall asleep. You would never forget that face.  You and Will would both alternate between being watchmen to guard your food and weapons. You mostly used the weapons just for hunting, but you never knew what could happen. Still, you remained alert and vigilant.

You both never ventured too much into the city, trying to stay on the outskirts as much as you possibly could. But one day you had cut your hand while trying to spear more seafood in a riverbed, and the cut ended up being deeper than you could manage. Not only did you fear it to get in the way of your hunting, but you also didn’t want your blood seeping in through your clothing, making it more versatile to the virus.

You both found a looted, but in not-too-bad-of-a-condition, dollar store just off the freeway. You both climbed over some of the abandoned cars, making sure to look in each one just in case there was something worth taking.

You got to the entrance of the store, and Will told you he would be outside waiting and keeping guard while you looked for some bandages.

The store was almost completely empty, yet you found your way into the med isle, stepping over fallen light fixtures and useless items like beanie babies and dusted up Happy Birthday cards. You were rummaging through some boxes when you heard it.

A scream.

Will.

Your heart jumped into your throat and you acted on autopilot. You didn’t second guess, you ran through the doors and over the fallen cable wires without hesitation. Your eyes searched the eery and abandoned parking lot. You didn’t see him and you screamed Will’s name over and over again, running around the deserted parking lot. You knew it was dangerous, but you had to find him. You heard a groan and you quickly saw him lying against the curb off to the side of the highway, his arm wrapped tightly around his waist.

You feared the worst.

“No, no,” you repeated to yourself. You tried to be careful to not slip on the black ice beneath your leather boots.

You ran towards his fallen body and the first thing you say was how pale he was. His face was emotionless. Most likely shock. You crouched down next to him and you pulled his arm away from his chest. You saw a knife sticking out from his upper abdomen and blood.

A lot of blood.

He was panting and it didn’t take you long to look up across the street. There was a man faced down into the pavement. You swallowed thickly, knowing there was a fight and Will had gotten hurt.

“He saw you and he kept saying he wanted your coat, he was a loon and he had a machete, and he — and he—” Will panted.

“Shhh, shhh.” You hugged him tightly to your body as you rocked him back and forth.

“I wanted to protect you.” “I know, Will. I know.” You cried, closing your eyes tightly together and holding him closer.

He barely coughed out, his eyes rolling back.

“It hurts.” He cried.

You saw heavy tears cloud your vision and you felt a sense of impending doom.

“I got you, Will, I got you.” You don’t know if you were speaking to him or yourself.

He stretched his arm up and grabbed yours, pulling your embrace tighter around his body.

“We’ll get them, Y/N. We’ll avenge your parents, I promise. I’m too strong for this.” He squeaked, “I won’t die.” He said through clenched teeth.

Tears ran down your face as you watched him grab his own open abdomen.

“You are, Will. You are so strong.” Your face tilted to the side as more sobs racked through your body, “Please, don’t leave me. I can’t be alone. I can’t do this alone.”

You felt his nimble fingers dig into your elbow, smearing you with his blood.

“I’m so sorry.” He whimpered, some blood escaping his lips this time.

“Please, please.” You cried over and over again, holding him tighter to your chest.

It didn’t take much longer for you to feel him go limp in your arms. Your body shook with your cries when you repeated it back to yourself: Will was dead.

You didn’t allow yourself to cry for too long. You wanted to but you knew you needed to keep moving, and being this exposed could only cost you your life.

You quickly found a nice area, the nicest you could possibly find in an arena of death, and you carefully laid Will’s body down. Ironically, it was in a field of dead daisies. You delicately draped his arms over his chest and you whispered your goodbyes to him. You took a moment to cherish who he was. He was a lonely son of a construction worker and an accountant. His bother died two years ago after being infected. He had been in pain for a long time, but he had a good heart, and he strived to stay at your side to help you. You let your tears fall on your hands as you held his for just a few more minutes.

No more than a half-hour later after finding some bandages, you were back in the woods, continuing your journey south. You pulled out the compass that Will had given you, just to be sure. It was close to dusk when you heard the sound of a river running down below. Your stomach grumbled, suddenly feeling very hungry again. You had been out of luck today, finding not even one squirrel or deer. Not even a bird.

You hadn’t eaten since that morning when you and Will had split a couple of spare pumpkin seeds. Your chest tightened at the thought of him again. You felt awful for just leaving him in the field like that. You knew someone would find him soon and take the clothing off his body to keep for their own. But you had no choice. And there was no time for a proper burial, at least not in the middle of a city like that.

You continued your walk more and more, the boots that you had stolen off a girl’s body, squishing in the mood and dirt beneath your feet. You were thankful it hadn’t snowed yet this year. The cold was already unbearable as it was, if there was snow it would only make your journey worst. You couldn’t take it for granted.

You don’t know how much farther you walked since you had no watch. No one had watches anymore. Time didn’t exist anymore. But, it would help in order for you to estimate your location and how far you had left in your journey. You were guessing, realistically, it had been about an hour, judging by how much darker the sky now was.

You knew you needed to find a corner to settle in and build a fire. You needed a place to sleep for the night. Food would have to wait until tomorrow, you would go to sleep hungry again.

You take a deep breath and rest your hand on a large tree. You were extremely fatigued, in desperate need of water. You had been dehydrated for a while. You knew your canteen was running low so you had to savor as much as you could.

You took necessary sips here and there.

You drift your eyes over the horizon and through the broken branches until your gaze lands of a patch of grass that looked decent enough for a rest stop. You would lay your dirty rag you call a blanket there and get some rest.

You slowly started your walk, tucking your canteen back into your bag.

You heard owls in the sky around you and you grew worried as you began to realize that with Will now gone you were truly alone. There was no way you could avenge your parents alone. You couldn’t go into The Capitol alone.

You had no chance.

Your hands grew clammy and you started feeling worried sick, your mind now in overdrive.

You were screwed. You were all alone and screwed and there was no chance in hell you were going to come out of this alive. Suddenly, you find yourself angry at Will. Angry for lying to you and saying that everything would be okay.

How could he say that? How could he lie to make you believe it was true? You wouldn’t be capable of doing this alone? Even the Avengers couldn’t do this, even the Earth’s mightiest heroes could not win against Hydra, yet here you were trying to overthrow an entire city filled with them?

You remember the people talking about how their compound had been bombed and destroyed. They didn’t have a home anymore. They had three missions where they tried to overthrow it and failed miserably. It pained you to see that your parents hope for the future had become a living hell of blood and war. How could Will have so much faith in you? You remember the feel of his limp body in your arms and your sadness is unbearable.

More tears found your eyes and you rubbed your wet nose over the back of your sleeve. Something heavy caught the tip of your boot, and with a shriek you found yourself tumbling down and down.

Then, everything went dark.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Jungkook X Reader ~ Insecure [Request]

>>> Word Count: 5,132

>>> Genre: The tinest amount of Angst I can manage to do and a Fluffy ending

>>> Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

>>> A/N: Okay if you’ve never cried to a stranger on a plane or train you’re missing out, they give the best advice and give you snacks (P.s thanks to that old lady that helped me that one time) . That shit helps so much, it’s amazing I promise. Lmao. I hope this is okay for you, I loved writing this!! but if it’s not what you wanted let me know and I’ll rewrite :)

You stared at yourself in the mirror as the stylist worked, as she said it herself, her magic on you.  

"He's going to love you!" She said in a thick British accent, you smiled at her in the mirror and looked down at your hands. You weren't used to all of this. People working around you, pampering you and making sure you looked as good as possible but Jungkook was going all out for your four-month anniversary. He'd flown you out to meet him in Paris and you were now sitting in your luxury hotel room getting your hair and makeup done.

"You now look breathtaking!" The stylist said as she finished curling your hair, you smiled again and looked at yourself in the mirror. Looking back at you was someone you didn't even recognise, you didn't even think you'd be friends with the person you could see in the mirror. You looked completely different to what you would normally look like but you didn't want to offend anyone in the room, 

"Thanks, I love it." You said getting up from the chair and going over to the wardrobe, you'd gotten the perfect outfit ready for your date before you flew out. It was a pair of blue jeans with a knot front top in black since you were just going to a small cafe for an evening meal. 

"This way my dear." Someone said pulling you through to the en-suite and unzipping a black dress bag in front of you. Inside was one of the most expensive red dresses you'd ever seen in your life, 

"Mr Jeon had it flown in for you." You stared at the dress that was hanging on the hanger in front of you. This was what Jungkook wanted to see you like? Dressed up in an expensive dress, makeup so you looked nothing like yourself and heels that looked like you would snap your neck the second you took a step in them.

"Thanks," You whispered as two women came in and helped you changed into the maxi dress, you suddenly felt insecure wearing it. It had a split up the left leg which raised to the middle of your thigh, and the front was a low V design practically leaving you on display for everyone to see. You could have sworn if you bent over too much you'd slip out of the dress and the spaghetti straps weren't doing much to cover your arms.

"Now the heels." You stared down at the rose gold strapped heels and shook your head.

"I'll break a bone." You whispered to the stylist on your right who shook her head at you,

"Wear them with confidence and you'll be fine." In translate, 'Wear them because Jungkook wants you to.' You stared at yourself in the full-length mirror and then over at the stylists who were all staring at you with bright smiles. 

"You look perfect! Enjoy your date." They said as they left the room, leaving you to stare at the woman you hardly knew anymore. Your phone vibrated on the side and you slowly made your way over to it, thinking 'confidence' and trying not to fall on your face. 

"Are you ready for the best date of your life?" Jungkook asked through the phone and you relaxed instantly as you heard his voice, 

"I'm more than ready, come and get me." You giggled back to him, hanging up the phone and going back to the bathroom. You didn't bother to take a photo of yourself, why would you when you didn't know her. 

Jungkook was sitting across from you in the restaurant, so much for a small cafe. 

"I thought we were going to a small cafe." You whispered to him after the waiter passed your table, Jungkook smiled at you and took your hand in his ontop of the table and ran his fingers along your knuckles. 

"This is small." You stared at him. This was small? Then your apartment back home was diminutive in comparison to it. He read your facial expression and he shook his head at you, 

"Let's just have fun okay?" You nodded in agreement and a waiter poured you both a glass of champagne and handed you the menus.

"How are you liking Paris?" You question Jungkook as you glanced over the menu, finally, the french glasses that were forced upon you in school were coming into use for you. He glanced up from the menu to you and you smiled, you hadn't seen him since you landed in Paris since he had a show last night but tonight he was all yours. 

"I'm loving it, Namjoon gave me a list of things we can do tomorrow." He told you putting down his menu and smiling at you, it was the most you'd seen him smile in a while and you didn't know if it was because you were there or if he was suddenly having a boost in mood. 

"I'm glad you're here with me Y/n." You smiled at him and he kissed the top of your hand.

"Are we ready to order sir?" Jungkook nodded and began reading off the menu and you stared at him with a smile, the waiter turned to you and you read off what you wanted in french, handing him the menu back and watching him walk away. Jungkook stared at you with an eyebrow raised, 

"I didn't know you were fluent in French." You sipped on your drink and wiggled your eyebrows at him. 

"There's a lot of you don't know about me Kookie." You joked as he laughed along with you, taking your hand in his. 

"Well, I hope you stay with me long enough to find out every small detail about you." You felt your heart begin to beat faster at the thought of it, your mind going back to when you first met him.

You'd gone to Korea for a trip to spend on your own, deciding you needed more adventure in your life. 

"You okay?" A cool voice asked from behind you, you turned to look at who was talking to you and you were met with the most beautiful man you'd ever seen in your life. He was around 5''10 and had the most gorgeous sparkly eyes you'd ever seen and he had a tiny dimple on his cheek as he smiled at you, 

"Y-Yeah, just a little lost." You stuttered out, still stunned by someone so good looking talking to you. He chuckled showing his bunny smile and you could have died on the spot. 

"Where are you trying to go?" You looked at the map in front of you, 

"Back to my hotel, I forgot my camera and I need- You don't need my life story, sorry." You laughed looking back down at the map and trying to figure out where you were on it. 

"What's the hotel?" You told him and he nodded taking out his phone and typing in the address, 

"I'm heading that way, I'll walk with you." You thanked him and you both started walking to your hotel in silence, 

"You said you forgot your camera, you're a photographer?" You shook your head, 

"I just take photos and film things for a hobby. I enjoy editing them all together." You told him as you continued walking, confused as to why people were turning to stare at you both so you looked at the ground. 

"Me too, it's a little hard at the moment. I'm always busy with work." You nodded in agreement with him, 

"Oh, I feel that. Took me five years to save up for this trip, so I'm loving it up as much as I can and filming every moment." He chuckled at you and you stopped outside your hotel.

"Thanks for bringing me back, I probably would have been lost all day." He laughed at you and then scratched the back of his neck, 

"How about I be your tour guide for the day? I'm not busy and I'm sure it'll be fun." You stared at him faking a glare, 

"You sure you're not some serial killer?" He shook his head at you, 

"I'm almost 95% sure." You giggled and nodded along with him, 

"I'd love that...Oh, I don't know your name?"

"Jungkook, and you are?" You smiled, he even had the perfect name. 

"Yn," He repeated it back to you with a giant smile on his face.

After the day together you got closer, he asked you out on a date where he told you about who he really was and it scared you at first. You knew why people were staring at you in the street now but he assured you it wouldn't affect your dates together and you would still have fun together so you continued to date him. Four months later and you were sitting in the most expensive restaurant in Paris together.

"We should film some of our time together like we did in Korea." He suggested as if he'd read your mind about your memory of first meeting him. 

"It'll be fun, what's the first thing we're doing?" You questioned,

"I was thinking we could go to Louvre first, and then Namjoon said there is a cute cafe around the corner and we can have some lunch." You nodded along with him and leant back against the chair when the food was brought over to you. 

The bill came at the end of the night and you stared at it, it was more expensive than a year worth of rent for you. Jungkook took out his card as if it was nothing and paid for it, helping you up from the chair and slowly walking out of the restaurant with you, hand in hand.

"Thanks for a wonderful evening." You told him as he helped you down the last step of the restaurant, he shook his head. 

"It should be me thanking you, you look incredible." You looked down at the dress and smiled softly, did he only say that because you were dressed up fancy? Everything you'd been thinking back in the hotel was coming back to your head. 

"We should go and have a photo taken before we go back to the hotel." You shook your head at him, wanting nothing more than to go back to the hotel, strip out of the dress and change into one of his shirts and cuddle him all night long.

"But you look amazing!" He chuckled spinning you around under his arm, but you tripped over the heels and dress, falling back into his arm and looking up at him, people around you all 'aweing' at you both as if he'd purposely dipped you. 

"See, they all think so too." You stood up straight and followed him over to a wall of flowers, and he asked a passer-by to take your photos. You did your best to fake a smile in the pictures and then followed him back to the hotel in silence. 

"You okay? You've been quiet," You nodded at him, holding your head. 

"Just a headache, think it's the champagne." You lied looking at the floor. 

"You should go lay down in your room, I'll come and get you in the morning." He told you as he pushed the hair from your face, you smiled at him and he kissed your lips. You tried not to act as though something was wrong and kissed him back, smiling as he pulled away and walked you up to your door. 

"Goodnight Kookie." You whispered, kissing his cheek and walking into the hotel room. Jungkook walked away with a giant smile on his face going back to his room and telling Namjoon about the perfect night you'd both had while you kicked off the heels in your room. Falling down onto the bed and staring up at the ceiling, contemplating everything that had happened. Your mind racing ahead of you and telling you everything you thought was true. He only flew you out because he wanted to dress you up, he made you look nothing like yourself. He changed everything about you because he doesn't love the real you. How could he? He was used to luxury things in life and you weren't. 

"Fuck." You whispered as you felt yourself crying, you got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom, carefully taking yourself out of the dress and putting it back in its bag. You turned on the shower and looked at yourself in the mirror, you took off the fake eyelashes and started washing off the makeup. Finally being able to see yourself again and you felt your eyes welling up. 

'He only wants to change you, how could he love someone so different from him?' Your mind was running wild so you jumped into the shower, trying to let the water relax you but it was doing nothing for you. 

Jungkook came to your room the next day and used the key to let himself inside, but you weren't in the bed. It didn't look like you'd slept there. He frowned looking around, the wardrobe was empty and your suitcases were gone. He walked into the bathroom and saw the dress you'd been wearing hung up and a note attached to the bag. 

'Jungkook,

I can't keep doing this. Last night was one of the most amazing nights of my life but I can't do it again. I love you but please don't come looking for me. You're used to this lifestyle, being pampered but this is all too much for me and I can't be with someone who just wants to change me to fit into their life. I want someone who will understand me, a date in jeans and a small cafe, not some giant posh restaurant where one meal would be two months of rent for me. 

You deserve someone better than me, someone, who will already be accustomed to your way of living, someone who would enjoy being spoilt and dressed up in fancy clothes. 

I love you,

Y/n.' 

Attached to the note was the bracelet he'd gotten you for your second anniversary and he took out his phone, calling your number but it was going straight to answerphone, meaning you were either on a plane or you were ignoring his calls. 

"Jungkook, what's going on?" Namjoon asked as the younger boy rushed back into their shared room and looked around for something.

"I need to leave, she left." Namjoon frowned and sat up in the bed. 

"She left? Where did she go, her ticket isn't valid until Friday." But Jungkook knew you, you would have worked your way around that. 

You did, you swapped your ticket with an elderly lady who thanked you with a giant smile, and you were on your way home. Making plans with your boss to come back to work early. You needed to keep your mind off Jungkook and throwing yourself back into work was the only way you could imagine yourself doing it. You were also going to have to find somewhere else to go, he knew where you lived and maybe you were overthinking it a little but you needed to stay with someone else until things cooled down.

"Thank you for flying with us, we'll be taking off shortly." You relaxed against the seat and closed your eyes, wanting to put everything behind you and move on. You were also trying not to cry on a plane full of people, the elderly couple next to you being cute and making you think of Jungkook.

'You're not good enough for him. He deserves better' You reminded yourself, swallowing the lump in your throat and trying to sleep the plane journey away instead of keeping your mind running but the lady next to you tapped your shoulder.

"Are you alright my darling?" You looked at her and faked a smile but she saw straight through it, 

"Tell me everything, we're going to be here a while." You smiled at her and looked at your palms, were you really about to spill your guts to someone you didn't know? 

"Did you fight with your boyfriend?" You shook your head, 

"Not exactly,"

After explaining everything to her she stared at you with a blank expression, 

"You can't run away from all of your problems." She told you, handing you a tissue from her handbag and shaking her head at you. 

"If that boy loves you, what's the problem?" She questioned as you wiped your face, you looked at the floor. 

"He tried to change me, you didn't see the way he looked at me when I was dressed up. He'd never looked at me like that before," You said between sobs and she wrapped an arm around you, dragging your head to lay on her shoulder as she comforted you. 

"My Harold," She turned to look at her husband who was snoring in the chair next to her, 

"Was the same way when we first started dating. He tried to give me all of these different presents, in a way to keep me...He thought it was the only reason he could keep me around. Maybe your man is the same?" You nodded at her, not wanting to accept that was what it was. You knew that Jungkook just wanted to dress you up, to make you look better, so he would feel good to be out with you. In the whole four months you were dating he would do it a lot, it started with the diamond bracelet he got you for your anniversary. Then the matching diamond earrings you wouldn't wear, too scared to lose them. They were locked away at home and you were going to have to send them back to him. 

Jimin was with Jungkook at the airport while he waited for his plane to come in. He was going after you, he had a week off from the tour and he was going to beg you to come back if he had to. 

"Jungkook, she said to leave her." But Jungkook wasn't going to stand for it, he was going to chase you all year if he had to, all his life if it meant you would stay with him. 

"You don't get it Jimin." He told him as his plane number was read out, he started walking towards the terminal and Jimin was trying to protest it, 

"When you love someone, you don't just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy...Even then. Especially then! And you don't let the one you love go if they think the wrong thing." He left Jimin and walked through the terminal going to find his seat and stared out of the window. Wondering how he was going to find you, you were too smart to go back to your apartment, and the only other person he knew was your mum but you were too smart to go there. He took out his phone once he was allowed to and called your mum, to ask if she would tell him if she heard from you, to which she agreed. She adored you and Jungkook together. She didn't know everything but she knew when you came back from your trip to Korea you were happiest she'd ever seen you before and she wanted you to be that way all of the time.

"I'll be at the dance school all day, you sure you're okay here?" Zoe, your friend from work, asked as you sat on her sofa holding a cup of coffee. You nodded at her and she walked out of the door, you'd arrived early hours of the morning four nights ago and she picked you up from the airport. Telling you how much of an idiot you were to give up on an opportunity of being in Paris with the one you loved and she continued ranting for most of the night until she passed out asleep while you laid awake and tried not to turn on your phone. It was easier to ignore him while the phone was switched off and in your handbag. 

You grabbed your laptop from your bag and turned it on, deciding to go onto Youtube to try and occupy yourself with something other than him but that wasn't going to work because as soon as the laptop turned on you were greeted with a photo of you together. It was a photo of you and him in Korea, he'd taken you to the Mountain Ansan Jarak-Gil trail. You clicked on the folder with his name and looked through the video of you both together, watching with the music in the background. Why did you have to put such a sad song in the background? 'You Say' by Lauren Daigle started playing in the background and you teared up watching photos of you and him passing by, then it switched to videos of you both. Him feeding you noodles while you tried not to die from how spicey they were. More videos of you both passed, him cuddling you while you stood in front of the camera. He told you it was a photo but it wasn't, it was a video which turned into your first kiss with him. 

"Shit." You whispered as you wiped your eyes and slammed the laptop shut, not wanting to watch anymore. You knew you had to go and be with someone who would understand what you were going through.

"She'll come to her senses, you're the best thing to ever happen to her." She said one morning as he sat on the sofa staring at a photo of you on the mantle place. 

"Has she tried calling you yet?" He questioned and your mum shook her head, 

"She'll be back at work today, you could always go and see her?" He shook his head knowing that would be too creepy for him to just show up on the doorstep of your work and ask to see you. 

"I'm sure she'll call you soon." Your mother told him, patting his back and going to make him something to eat. Claiming he looked like he hadn't had a proper meal in weeks, which was partially true. He'd been staying with your mum for the last two days and he hadn't touched anything except for the odd bite of a sandwich. He couldn't eat or sleep without knowing where you were, he missed you too much to be able to function properly. He had the boys calling him every now and again to ask if he'd anything but he always said the same thing. 

"Mum?" He heard your voice before he could register anything, the door slammed shut and your mum came rushing into the living room holding a spatula and staring at you, you hadn't noticed Jungkook sitting on the sofa.

"Y/n? What's wrong?!" She questioned as she noticed your eyes were bright red and you were crying, you sniffled and Jungkook rushed to his feet grabbing your attention. 

"Jungkook?" You frowned wiping your face and looking between him and your mum who looked sheepishly at you. 

"I'll leave you alone for a moment." She said going past you and giving you a kiss on the cheek, she wondered upstairs and you stared at Jungkook. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"Looking for you, what are you doing here?" You stared at him with a blank expression

"She's my mum..." He looked at you and then to your bags, you had all of your suitcases with you which meant he was right about you not going back to your own apartment. 

"You left without saying anything." You looked at the floor, eyes filling up with tears at the thought of Paris. 

"I left a note." You told him and he brought it out of his pocket and handed it to you, 

"Don't come looking for me?" He questioned and you stared at the small piece of paper, tears falling down onto it. 

"Jungkook I-"

"Don't, don't say what's on that piece of paper. Look at me and tell me how you feel." You looked up from the paper and swallowed, he looked like a wreck. He hadn't slept right in days and neither had you, you'd missed him too much to be able to sleep. 

"I'm not good enough for you, you deserve someone better." You managed to get out and at the moment he knew you believed what you were saying. He stepped forward and you blinked, letting more tears fall from your face. 

"You deserve someone who will be able to spoil you back...Who doesn't work three jobs just to make ends met, someone who can give you the world." You wiped your face with your sleeve and he stared at the shirt you were wearing. It was his. 

"I love you too much to hold you back Kookie." You whimpered and that was it, he pulled you into his chest and you didn't bother to fight him on it. You just laid your head against his pecks and cried into them, both of you sinking onto the floor on your knees. 

"I love you too much to let you do this, I'm not leaving and you're not." He told you, putting his legs either side of your body and holding your head against his chest, his hand patting your head softly, 

"I will tell you every day that you're more than good for me if that's what it takes." You continued to sob against him and he kissed the top of your head. 

"I'll give it all up, I don't need all of the expensive things, no more expensive dates, no more meals that are more expensive than your rent. I'll do anything please don't leave me." You pushed your head away from his chest and stared up at him through your blurry vision, he was crying as well. 

"Jungkook-"

"Let me finish. I don't need any of that stuff, I don't want any of it if it means I can't have you Jagi." He whispered, tucking your hair behind your ear and cupping your face in his hair. 

"I don't want it." He repeated and you sniffled staring at him. 

"But you love it, it's what you love doing." He shook his head at you,

"I love you more than it." You weren't going to let him do this, you weren't going to let him throw everything away because of you, you pushed yourself out of his grasp and sat opposite him. 

"Jungkook I won't let you give anything up for me, it's your dream." You told him, remembering all the long conversations you had about dreams. How he told you he was living his dream life, 

"It's not my dream without you." He admitted taking your hand, you stared at your hands and then up to his face. He was staring at you, wondering what you were thinking. 

"I won't let you." He shook his head at you and moved closer to you, you stared at him. 

"I won't let you go." He reminded you and you knew this conversation was going nowhere soon.

"I don't want anything if it means I can't have you." You stared at him,

"But you were trying to get me to wear expensive dresses...The jewellery? The presents?" He shook his head at you,

"I gave you things thinking it would make up for me not being around all of the time...I figured if I gave you presents you would stay while I was away." You scoffed and he frowned at you,

"I had a conversation with an elderly lady on the plane...Her husband did the same thing when they were younger...I guess she was right." He smiled softly at you and you shook your head at him,

"But Jungkook, I don't need that stuff to stay around. I love you and only you. You could buy me a bookmark and I would adore it." He chuckled at you and pulled you into his arms again.

"I would adore you if you rocked up to a date in a bin bag." He whispered in your ear, maybe you did overreact a little bit. 

"So does this mean you'll stay with me?" He questioned as you relaxed in his arms, you nodded and closed your eyes. For the first time in days, you felt tired and relaxed enough to sleep.

"I love you." You whispered to him, and he smiled down at you, moving hair from your face so he could see you properly. 

"I love you too Jagi." He whispered looking up to see your mum coming down the stairs, he smiled at her and then looked down at you again. You were asleep in his arms and he felt at peace with you there.

"I'm sorry I didn't get to see you a lot...I'm sorry I ran off." You told him at the airport, he had to go back to the boys for the rest of the tour and you'd done nothing but say sorry for the last hour. 

"If you don't stop saying sorry I will pack you into my bag and take you with me." He threatened as he turned to look at you, you pouted and he smiled kissing your lips. 

"I'm still sorry." You giggled, he glared at you playfully and he wrapped his arms around your body, 

"I'll see you next month when the tour is over, you can take me to all the tourist spots you know here." He nodded in agreement and he ran his thumb along your cheek, smiling at you. 

"I'll miss you." He told you as he kissed your lips again, 

"I'll miss you too." You whispered standing up on your tiptoes and kissing him. 

"Flight 456 to Paris now boarding." He groaned hearing his number being called and kissed you again, his arms wrapping around your waist to lift you up closer to him. 

"I love you." You whispered as he pulled away and he grunted not wanting to leave you just yet, 

"I know I've kissed you like ten times but just like...Another ten, please?" You giggled and kissed him quickly all over his face nine times and then on his lips. 

"Go, before you hold the plane up." You whispered to him, kissing his cheek and watching him walk away from you, waving as he turned around to look at you. 

"See you soon!" He yelled making a couple behind him wince and you to giggle. 

"See you soon Kookie!" You screamed not caring about the people around you staring. All you cared about was the love you had for that man child. 

Tagline: 

@yourguessisasgoodasminemate​ @yoongisdumplingcheeks​ @snowy-meowl​ @lynnthevirgo​ @btsiguess-kpop​ @ficdump101​ @babymochichimmy​ @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @kpopfanfictionhoes​

[kerikaaria]

If I Never Met You: Chapter 2

(??? X Reader) Idol!AU, Manager!Reader

Genre: (PG13) Fluff 

WC: 1.5k

Warnings: None

Series Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

After we all introduced ourselves, Sejin oppa told the boys that they could take the rest of the day off their usual practice and training schedules so that we could get to know each other a little better.

“(Y/n) noona, why’d you decide to come to Korea in the first place?” Jimin asked, propping up his chin with the palm of his hand.

“Basically, I wanted to travel,” I replied. “I wanted to experience somewhere new and I had already learned the language so I knew I wouldn’t be completely lost. That, and the fact that Konkuk University accepted me as a student helped of course.”

If I hadn’t gone to Konkuk University, I probably wouldn’t have ended up in this room with these seven boys in the first place. That’s where I met Seokjin. No one else really talked to me, I guess my being a foreigner made them scared they wouldn’t be able to communicate well. But after seeing each other in a few of the fundamental courses we took together he asked me if he could sit next to me in class, so we started talking and quickly became friends.

He had told me he was a trainee, so I helped him when he had trouble getting work done because of his busy schedule. And earlier today, which was only about a month after the semester started, I mentioned how I was having trouble finding a job and he suggested I applied to the company he was a trainee at. I was baffled when I was told to come back for an interview so quickly after just filling out my application, so when I was hired so easily it was even more astonishing to me. And now here I was, talking with these seven interesting boys.

“How did you learn Korean anyway? Why did you want to?” Namjoon inquired. He had mentioned earlier that he learned English by watching the show Friends, which I thought was incredibly impressive.

“I found a website that taught it and made it really easy to learn. After getting into Korean dramas and K-pop I thought the language was really beautiful and wanted to give it a shot.”

“It must have taken you a while,” Hoseok added.

I saw Seokjin smiling out of the corner of my eye, waiting for his brothers’ reactions to my reply. “It took about 3 years.”

There were a variety of reactions from the boys, from as small as a just surprised expression, to straight up shocked gasps accompanied by jumping up from their comfortable positions on the floor. Meanwhile, my friend laughed out of enjoyment from their surprise.

“Really?! How fluent are you?” Jungkook asked.

“Well on TOPIK my proficiency was rated Level 6,” I replied, feeling shy from all their reactions.

“What’s that mean?” Yoongi asked.

“It means she got the highest level you can get. She’s completely fluent,” Namjoon elaborated.

I didn’t think it was possible, but even more dynamic reactions ensued from the group. Jimin and Hoseok were now standing, the latter spinning in circles. Even Yoongi, who appeared to be calmer and more muted than the rest of them was very obviously surprised at the knowledge. Seokjin was just on the floor, releasing his unique laugh which reminded me of windshield wipers.

I felt my cheeks flush at their over-the-top reactions. I knew that I learned it fairly quickly, but I definitely wasn’t prepared for these responses.

“I mean, Namjoon learned English just from watching a TV show and there’s no way I could have done that with Korean, so…” I said, hoping to reduce some of the attention they were giving me.

“Yah, calm down guys,” Seokjin managed to say once his laughing settled down a bit. “You’re making her feel embarrassed.”

“Sorry, noona!” Taehyung said as he and the rest of the boys started to calm down. “ It’ just, I’ve been learning English basically since I started going to school but I still can’t even hold a full conversation in it. So it was just super impressive to hear you learned Korean so quickly!” The rest of the group nodded in agreement.

“Thanks,” I said with a shy chuckle as I rubbed the back of my head with my hand. “Anyway, let’s talk more about you guys!” I smiled and they thankfully obliged.

Our afternoon continued like that, me asking some questions which resulted in quite a bit of conversation and bantering between them, then one of them asking me something else. I quickly began to feel relaxed with them. Something about them was very comforting and welcoming.

I learned of their ages. Of course, I already knew that Seokjin and I were the same age, being born in ’92, and I was even only 3 days younger than him as my birthday is December 7. We learned that on the first day we started to become friends and we were shocked at the strange coincidence, Seokjin saying that we were almost twins. Yoongi was the next oldest, a ’93 liner. Namjoon and Hoseok were born in ’94, Jimin and Taehyung in ’95, and Jungkook being the youngest born in ’97. I knew he looked young, but I had no idea he was only just barely 15!

After chatting for quite a while, Sejin oppa came into the room. He smiled, seeming satisfied that we appeared to be getting along.

“You’d probably better move this to the dorm,” he said as he walked up to where we were sitting in a kind-of-not-really circle on the floor.

A few of them immediately stood up at the suggestion, agreeing that it was a good idea,

“Guys,” Yoongi spoke up, “do we really want noona to come to our dorm? It was in a pretty poor state when we left this morning. I don’t think she’d want to see your guys’ dirty clothes and messy habits on display for her the day she meets us.”

Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jimin who were originally really excited immediately replaced their grins with frowns in realization of the poor state of their home.

Sejin oppa laughed from where he stood behind me. “What did you guys think I was up to this whole time? I cleaned it up for you. Don’t worry, it’s safe.”

A look of relief washed their faces again. “Alright, do you want to go then, (Y/n)?” Seokjin asked.

“Yeah, sure! I’m pretty sure that as your manager, I’m supposed to know where your house is anyway.”

The boys gathered their things and we walked to their dorm, which was close by for convenience.

When we entered the house, the first thing I noticed was that it seemed pretty small. But Sejin oppa wasn’t joking that he worked hard to clean it. It was spotless!

“Wow, thanks Sejin hyung! I’ve never seen this place so clean,” Namjoon said.

“Let’s try to keep it that way, huh?” Hoseok said to his roommates with his eyes narrowed.

Jungkook just giggled, and the others didn’t make much of a comment as they scattered around the room.

“Let me show you around a bit, (Y/n) noona,” Hoseok said, placing a hand on my back.

I smiled at him and nodded.

The house was very small so there wasn’t much to show me, but I still very much appreciated the welcoming gesture. After checking that the room was clean enough, he showed me their bedroom. Yes, a single bedroom. All 7 of them slept in one room together, using bunkbeds to take the most advantage of the space. I suddenly felt pretty bad for them.

“Is it hard for all of you to have such little room to share together?” I asked him.

“Not really,” he responded. “Some of our members do strange things in their sleep but we are used to each other.”

“Oh, you mean like how you touch your body while you sleep, hyung?” Taehyung piped in from behind us.

I quickly turned around and shot my head back and forth between the two boys. “Wait, what?”

“Yah, don’t make it sound weird, Kim Taehyung!” Hoseok said, his face turning red. After looking at my confused expression, he elaborated. “I don’t know, apparently while I’m sleeping I’ll run my hand across my arm or chest or something. I guess because my parents used to hold me while I was sleeping so it’s just something that my body does on its own. At least I don’t snore as loud as an engine like Namjoonie.”

“It’s not like I can help it!” I heard said member pipe up from behind us. From that point the rest of the boys all started chiming in and talking over each other so I couldn’t make out much more of what they were saying.

I just couldn’t help but think about how cute and sweet it was, that they looked so close and like a family of their own. I found myself wondering if I’d be considered a part of this family too from now on. I would really like that.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

[soccerdailyuk]

What Erling Haaland told Dominik Szoboszlai after he completed £60m Liverpool transfer

What Erling Haaland told Dominik Szoboszlai after he completed £60m Liverpool transfer Dominik Szoboszlai has disclosed that he contacted Erling Haaland, the striker for Manchester City, seeking advice after finalizing his transfer to Liverpool on Sunday. The £60 million acquisition has also provided information about his packed schedule off the field prior to commencing pre-season training with Liverpool on July 11 at the AXA Training Centre. The signing of Szoboszlai marks Liverpool's second acquisition this summer, as he signed a five-year contract after successfully completing a medical examination at the Reds' Kirkby facility. Liverpool acted swiftly to finalize the agreement with RB Leipzig after engaging in discussions with the player's representatives early last week. The Reds activated the £60 million release clause of the 22-year-old on Friday and promptly arranged for his arrival in Merseyside on Saturday afternoon. Szoboszlai and Haaland formed a strong bond during their shared tenure at Red Bull Salzburg, and the new Liverpool player, who now wears the No. 8 jersey, believes that there is a chance they could end up living close to each other in the northwest region. This possibility arose from a conversation Szoboszlai had with his fellow forward from Norway. "We've talked," Szoboszlai told the Hungarian-based Nemzeti Sport. "So much so that Erling Haaland has also advised on finding real estate, and it could very well be that we become neighbours. "I learned from him that several players live halfway between Manchester and Liverpool in a quiet area where privacy can be preserved, and on Monday I will see what he was talking about, I am very curious. "And of course, putting our friendship aside during the Liverpool-Manchester City matches, it will surely be a fantastic experience to play against each other." Szoboszlai also sought the counsel of former Liverpool goalkeeper Peter Gulacsi who he played with at Leipzig, adding: "I've spoken to him before and he knows what our relationship is like. He was there in Leipzig when I got there, I became a player for the club and I could count on his support from the very first moment. "He was a very good team-mate of mine and I hope he got over his injury and there will be another Champions League match between Liverpool and RB Leipzig where he can try to save my free-kick! "I'll do some training on Monday, I have some paperwork to do, and then look at some potential properties where I'd like to live. Then I have to go to Leipzig, pack up my stuff, say goodbye to my former club, thank everyone for their support, love and encouragement and then to Budapest. But on the 10th at the latest I will be back in Liverpool, because on the 11th I will be training for my new team." With the signing of Szoboszlai, Liverpool's expenditure for this transfer window has now reached £95 million. This figure includes the previous addition of Alexis Mac Allister from Brighton & Hove Albion in early June. The Hungarian midfielder acknowledges that he does not want to burden himself with excessive pressure at this stage as he gets ready to embark on his journey with his new club. "I don't want to look too far," he said. "I'm trying to take it step by step, I definitely need time to get used to the rhythm of the Premier League, the way Liverpool plays, Jurgen Klopp's ideas. "The opportunity to play is the most important thing, as always, and if I have that, obviously I want to score as many goals as possible, give assists, make myself accepted by my surroundings, by the fans. I want to deserve the confidence that they give me here in Liverpool at every moment." What Erling Haaland told Dominik Szoboszlai after he completed £60m Liverpool transfer Read the full article

[cheri-translates]

[CN] 100 Days - Lucien (Day 51 - 100)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for e-mails which have not been released in English servers! 🍒

What’s the 100 Days Companionship Event?

Day 1 - 3: here

Day 4 - 30: here

Day 31 - 50: here

Day 51

I saw the new bracelet you bought, and wonder if I have the fortune to select a matching necklace for you?

Day 52

Since a certain student seems to have high praise for the dried fruits in the research centre, I’ve prepared some. Could I pair them with the white tea from last time?

Day 53

Your record book ended up with me. I accidentally saw quite a number of bold and imaginative questions. Next time, why don’t you ask me directly?

Day 54

It was a little cold last night, but it felt warmer when I saw the light from the house. Looks like temperature is even more subjective than I imagined.

Day 55

I’ve watched that trending video clip you mentioned. It isn’t an alien life form.  It’s just a deep sea creature which has a more ‘casual’ appearance.

Day 56

A new dessert has been released by that dessert shop you often visit. Want me to buy some on my way home tonight?

Day 57

The new intern is rash and quick-tempered. I miss the times when you, the “class prefect”, helped out.

Day 58

I’ve hooked the little felt fox you made with my keys. Each time I look at it, my mood becomes better.

Day 59

One small flower along the roadside is still blooming tenaciously. I wonder if I’ll still see it again the next time I walk by.

Day 60

A curious white kitten sneaked into the laboratory, and left an “already read” paw mark on my experiment report.

Day 61

I heard that during this season, there wouldn’t be many people at the amusement park. We can take a non-cursory visit to it once.

Day 62

The weather has become slightly cooler, and it’s suitable for wearing that overcoat you picked with me the last time.

Day 63

Seeing your cotton slipper and fluffy cartoon pyjamas, I sense that this winter wouldn’t be cold.

Day 64

I came across a fairy tale. There’s a black goat in the story, and it has a pair of beautiful horns… Do you still want to hear the rest?

Day 65

I seem to have improved in my origami skills, and it seems I can now fold more vivid little creatures now.

Day 66

Why do you need to perplex yourself over having a low laughing point? It shows that you can produce the dopamine to be happy over any trivial matter.

Day 67

When I passed by the park, I discovered that the Rosa chinensis we once saw together have turned into colourful chrysanthemums. Time seems to go by exceptionally quickly when signing in with you.

Day 68 (Halloween)

Title: Mysterious story exhibition

I heard there’s a mysterious Halloween story exhibition today. I wonder if a certain little friend who’s filled with curiosity is interested in going tonight?

Day 69

I’ve spent this October very happily. A large part of the reason is because you’re sharing it with me.

Day 70

I chanced on the postcard you sent me before. The handwriting is very cute, and the contents on it are even cuter.

Day 71

There’s a picture stuffed in the crack of the door. Is that bespectacled person conducting experiments me? He looks very engrossed.

Day 72

I haven’t thought of the answer to the riddle you came up with yesterday. Looks like I’ll have to learn from you this time.

Day 73

You mentioned wanting to learn how to make dimsum using yam paste, but couldn’t find the chance to do so. Do you have time today? We can give it a try together.

Day 74

The mornings of this season are especially moving. It’s just that little lazy bugs like you are likely too cold to get out of bed.

Day 75

The coffee you gave me the last time has a very nice taste. I tried preparing it once, but it didn’t have the same taste. Could you tell me your secret?

Day 76

I had a strange dream, and it seems to be indicating something. I’ll tell you about it another day.

Day 77

The weather forecasts says that it might rain today. Remember to bring an umbrella when you head out, just in case.

Day 78

If nobody does things that may not reap results, this world would likely lose some degrees of fun. Don’t you agree?

Day 79 (Single’s Day)

Received your final wishlist for 2020. It so happens that fulfilling each one of them will require an entire winter.

Day 80

You’re asking me if I’ve ever thought of travelling through time? I have. Each time we part ways, I want to travel to the time when we’d meet again.

Day 81

I’ve bought the material you wanted. Is our agreement from last week to have autumn afternoon tea still valid?

Day 82

You seem very busy recently, and I haven’t seen you appearing at the last row of the classroom. Is my “Class President” free to sign the attendance tomorrow?

Day 83

I like every birthday present you give me each year. Of course, my favourite gift is the one I can see at first glance - you.

Day 84 (Lucien’s birthday)

Having gone through yesterday’s “unhappiness”, I’ve prepared double the amount of “happiness” today. Could I share it with you?

Day 85

The place I’ve gone to attend the meeting at is the northern city you mentioned in Moments last year. Perhaps I could follow your footsteps and check in.

Day 86

When I woke up this morning, I realised that it has already started snowing in the city. I won’t enjoy the first snow on my own, which is why I’m sharing it with you immediately.

Day 87

I realised that you changed to bluetooth earpieces. In that case, will the distance between us be as close as when we listen to songs together using a wired earpiece?

Day 88

The rainbows seen in winter are even gentler than the ones in summer.

Day 89

Lately, I’ve been having some trouble sleeping too. This time, it might be your turn to be my little sleep assistant.

Day 90

Thank you for the gloves you gave me. They’re very soft and warm.

Day 91

I enjoy this feeling very much - eating a bowl of piping hot noodles in a warm, small store with you during cold weather.

Day 92

When I was tidying the bookshelf, a card fell out of one of the books you once borrowed. Do you still remember what you wrote on it?

Day 93

Without realising it, the agreed-to conclusion of the signing in is about to arrive. For some reason, I don’t really want it to end.

Day 94

Something to be grateful for is every day that I get to keep you company.

Day 95

A few petals from that pot of flowers you’re tending to fell onto my window sill. I’ve made them into two dried flower bookmarks.

Day 96

Saw a pair of earmuffs which suit you. This way, your ears wouldn’t always be red from the cold.

Day 97

Sorry, I’ve been tidying up data in the laboratory today, and just saw your message. I wonder if it’s too late to agree to your dinner invitation?

Day 98

You don’t always have to meet my expectations, because you often surpass my expectations.

Day 99

The movie salon you mentioned sounds really interesting. If I’m participating in it with you, I'm definitely very willing to go.

[Note] The word ‘salon’ here refers to a social gathering!

Day 100

To me, a hundred days is too short. Even without such an event, my company will definitely not stop at just a hundred days.

[stahlop]

Making a Memory (4/?)

Thank you everyone who has been reading this story. I’m so happy you’re enjoying it. This chapter is really long, but you’ll be getting to know Killian and Emma a little more.

Thanks once again to @profdanglaisstuff and @thisonesatellite for being the best betas ever.

And don’t forget to give @gingerchangeling some love for her amazing artwork!

Chapter 1 2 3

Ao3 Link

It was a four hour drive from Boston to Chantey’s Lobster House, and Emma was still confused about what the hell was going on with Henry that he not only took his sister and another girl from camp, but that he wanted to meet at a random restaurant in Maine. She had looked it up online and there didn’t seem to be anything special about it. No reason why he chose this place over another. It did seem to be the last establishment near civilization for a while according to the map. There wasn’t anything near there for the next 100 miles or so, which seemed really strange for Maine, since the forested area near it didn’t seem to be part of any national parks land or trust either. Emma had used some bail bonds tricks to try and see if Henry and the girls were staying at a motel nearby, but as far as she could tell, no man had checked in with almost identical twin girls. Could they possibly be camping out in the woods? They had to have stayed somewhere the previous night.

 Emma and Killian were now on the road to said eatery, which was not awkward at all. No it wasn’t. Especially not after the conversation they’d had with Henry that morning. Nope. Not awkward at all.

 “Mom?” Henry said as Emma put the phone on speaker so both she and Killian could listen.

 “Henry, thank god!” Emma’s eyes began spilling tears that she’d been holding in since the previous night when this whole mess had started. Killian had touched her shoulder to comfort her at the first sign of her distress. She almost didn’t notice it, because it felt so natural, like he should be the one comforting her. And it almost felt familiar, like she knew exactly how his hand would feel on her shoulder. Like he’d done it before. But that was impossible, because they had just met this morning. And just as Emma was about to panic about how not panicked this was making her feel, he snatched his hand away, as if he was also realizing that they barely knew each other and it was not appropriate for him to be comforting her.

 “Henry, I’m here with Killian, just like you asked.” Emma said.

 “Hello, Henry.” Killian’s voice was deeper than normal and sounded a little menacing, yet calm at the same time, as if he were talking to an actual kidnapper and not her son (and for some reason this started to conjure images in her head of how he would talk in the bedroom, and this was not the time or place for that line of thinking).

 “Hello, Killian, it’s good to hear from you again.” Henry stated as though talking to Killian was a normal occurrence. That threw Emma. Why was Henry talking to Killian as if he were an old friend? It seemed to throw Killian too. He looked even more distressed, pacing the room while tugging at his hair.

 “Do we know each other, lad?” Killian asked, clearly troubled at the friendly way Henry was speaking to him.

 “We did.” Henry sighed. “Once upon a time.”

 Emma looked quizzically at Killian as if he was supposed to know what that meant. He shook her head and looked just as bewildered as Emma felt. What the hell was Henry playing at? 

 “Ok, Henry, you have some explaining to do and we’d like that to start now.” Emma said as calmly as she could. She was trying to keep this situation under control as best as she could, but the cryptic information that Henry possibly knew Killian at one point was messing with the both of them.

 “Not until you two meet me in Maine” Henry replied. He was eerily cool, which set off alarm bells in Emma’s head immediately.  She put the phone on mute for a moment.

 “Something isn’t right.” Emma said softly, even though Henry couldn’t hear them. “Henry is the kind of kid...man, that gets excited about everything. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him sound this...this, I don’t even know what mood this is for him. I’ve never heard it before.” She chewed on her lower lip in worry.

 Killian stared at her, his blue eyes showing the worry reflected back at her. She shouldn’t need to make him more concerned, but this was not the Henry she knew. Something was wrong.  Killian pushed his hand through his black and silver-threaded hair before reaching toward her. Emma suddenly had the image of him taking her chin in his hand, caressing her face to make her feel better, and softly kissing her. But the image disappeared when his arm reached past her to the phone where he unmuted it to respond to Henry.

 “Why is it so important to you that we meet you in Maine, Henry?” Killian asked him, again calm as a cucumber, his British accent making Emma feel quite at ease. What the hell was going on with her? Her daughter and son were missing and she should be freaking out about. It was if the sound of his voice just made her feel safe and secure and like everything would work out.

 “I’ll explain it all when you get here.” Henry repeated again.  I’m sorry about this Killian. I really am. But rest assured, Alice is safe. She told me to tell you not to worry about your Starfish.” 

 Killian’s mouth started to turn upward into a sad smile and the lines around his eyes crinkled. Emma saw tears starting to form in the corners of them. 

 “She’s really all right then?” Killian asked as though he hadn’t believed Henry before. 

 “Of course she is Killian. I would never hurt my ….my ….a friend of my sisters.” Henry replied. “Now look. I need you two to come up here as soon as possible. There is much we have to discuss. We’re waiting for you.” And with that, Henry hung up.

 Both of them stared at the phone as if Henry would magically still be on, even though it was showing her call log.

 “So, I guess that’s that.” Killian said, threading his hand through his hair again. Emma nodded in agreement, licking her lips, they’d become dry during the phone call, but she saw him staring at her lips as if he wanted her as much as she wanted him. How would his lips feel on hers? How would his salt and pepper scruff feel rubbing against her cheek? He was a silver fox now and she could see in her mind how good he probably looked as a younger man. She shook her head of the unbidden thoughts that would not leave her brain, realizing this was not the appropriate train of thought to be having (and maybe in the future they could look back on this and laugh about it), and when she looked back at him, saw that his hand had now moved to rub at the back of his neck. He looked stressed. 

 Right. 

 Daughter. 

 Taken. 

 By her son. 

 Of course he was stressed. Emma really needed for this all to be over.

 “My car or yours?” 

 They sped along the I-95 in Killian’s Jeep Cherokee. It was an older model, one she didn’t even think they made anymore. But it ran fine and could get them where they needed to go. 

 Emma had offered her car, the ancient yellow Volkswagen Beetle that she’d stolen when she was 16. The car was older than Henry and she had no idea how it was still running, but it was, and so she kept it. And even though Neal had given it a clean VIN number years ago to help her out after her stint in jail for his crime, she never once thought to get rid of it, because it reminded her of all the bad decisions she had made. Even if those bad decisions had given her the two best children in the world. Or at least one good child, Emma was starting to rethink Henry’s status at the moment.

 “Music?” Killian asked, breaking Emma from her thoughts. 

 “Uh, sure.” She said, hoping some music would break some of the tension floating in the air. It was bad enough that Emma’s son had taken their children, but this attraction that Emma was feeling toward Killian was driving her insane, being this close to him in his Jeep, where she could smell his natural aroma (and he smelled amazing), and practically feel the heat emanating from his body, was doing things to her body that she hadn’t felt in years. But it wasn’t the attraction that was making the tension, it was the fact that it almost felt natural, like sitting next to Killian Jones was the most natural thing in the world, and that was freaking Emma out more than any sexual tension between them.

 The strains of an old classic rock tune, one she couldn’t place, but knew she’d known at one time, filled the Jeep. Killian started to hum along, and Emma could see some of the tension ease out of his body. His shoulders sagged against the back of the car seat, while his muscular arms loosened, and his grip on the steering wheel did too. Emma was impressed with the modern hook he wore that hooked into the driving apparatus so he could have both ‘hands’ on the wheel.

 Emma forced herself to stop staring at Killian and leaned her head against the window, watching Boston fly by. She had never been on a proper road trip, although, she wasn’t sure if she could call this a proper road trip but it was probably the closest she’d ever come to one. Growing up in the foster care system didn’t really lend itself to road trips. She and Neal talked about road tripping it to Tallahassee before the whole watch incident happened, and then again when he came back into their lives, but then Hope came, and then Neal died, and Emma never got around to having that road trip. Maybe if Henry had gone to college somewhere outside of Boston, but he’d stayed home. Saved money, he claimed, living at home and getting in-state scholarships. 

 A tear slipped down her face. Emma tried her best to not let Killian see her wipe it from her cheek, but even with his eyes on the road he was very perceptive.

 He turned the music down with his right hand, his prosthetic hook staying in the steering wheel apparatus.

 “Penny for your thoughts, love?” Killian asked with that wet-dream inducing British accent. Ugh! Well, she certainly couldn’t tell him that part of her thoughts now, could she.

 “Not your love.” She said too quickly. She needed to get her walls back up. She couldn’t allow her nether regions to control her. This whole thing was bordering on ridiculous. “I...I just don’t know how I got myself into this mess.” Emma responded, curbing her tears. “I did not raise Henry like this. I don’t understand what is happening right now.” She was frustrated at this whole situation. “And Hope is my practical one. Why would she go along with this! Henry was always the one trying to convince her to do crazy things as a kid and making up stories. She was...is such a pragmatic kid.” Emma wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince that this wasn’t her fault, Killian or herself.

 “Look, lo...Swan,” He began, and the way he said Swan did something to her. She had been too upset when he’d said it earlier to really hear the way it sounded. She didn’t realize her last name would sound so sexy coming out of his mouth. And it also sounded completely natural, which was odd because no one called her by her last name, ever. “I really don’t think Henry kidnapped Alice.” Emma turned to stare at Killian, because how could he not think that.

 “I know my Alice, and while she may be shy with people she doesn’t know that well, she’s also fiercely loyal to those she’s friends with. I also know she’s been practically obsessed with this damn book your boy wrote, and if she had the opportunity to leave camp with him for some reason, especially since he’s a camp mates’ sibling, then I can totally see her doing it, consequences be damned.” Killian gave a small smile that Emma could tell was to soothe her. She gave a small smile back, a real genuine smile that she hadn’t used around a man in years. If he hadn’t been driving the car right then, she probably would have kissed him. Just grabbed the lapels of his red flannel shirt, pulled him close, and laid one right on him.

 “Why don’t you try and take a little nap, Swan. We’ve still got a good three and a half hours on the road.” Emma realized that everything was catching up to her, and she was exhausted. She was asleep within five minutes.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 She was climbing something, she wasn’t entirely sure what. It certainly didn’t feel stable like a rockwall or even a mountain would. And she wasn’t alone. Someone else was climbing with her. She wasn’t talking to whomever it was. She couldn’t make much out, just black leather and shiny metal.

 “You never forget your first.” She heard from her climbing partner. 

 “I love a challenge.” She grabbed a vine. A vine? What the hell was she climbing that vines would be involved? She looked up at the now obvious man that was above her on a….beanstalk? And yet, it didn’t seem odd at all.

 She was up high again, but this time she felt like she was on stone. There was a giant coming after her. Why was there a giant coming after her? The man in black leather was nowhere to be seen. Had he abandoned her? She struggled to find him, but oh, crap, the giant was coming for him. The giant passed by her and she struck him with something that knocked him out cold.

 “I don’t mean to upset you, Emma, but we make quite the team,” he said happily, but Emma was only annoyed.

 She had what she’d come there for and she, oh no, she chained him up with the giant.

 “Swan. Swan!” Oh, god, the anguish in his voice. She recognized it now. It was…

 She was in a nursery. Two babies were laid out in matching cribs and matching outfits. They were crying and she couldn’t get them to stop.

 “Who are the cutest babies?” She was about to break down. Why had she thought two babies wouldn’t be that hard? “You can stop crying any time now. Mama just wants you to stop crying.” The sing-songy voice she was using didn’t match the panic in her voice. Rattles appeared in both hands and she was furiously shaking them to try and entice the babies to stop crying, but it only made them cry harder.

 “Don’t you worry, my dear.” A voice sang over the crying from behind her. She turned and saw a heavily-lidded woman with dark, curly hair standing behind her.

 “Who are you?” She said backing up to protect the children.

 “Never you mind.” The woman said, moving toward her. “Just know, you won’t have to worry about your children for much longer.” The woman’s cackle echoed throughout the tower. The babies’ cries grew louder and louder. She needed someone, the other half of her team, she needed...she needed….

 “HOOK!” Emma bolted straight up in her seat as she woke from whatever nightmare she was having. She startled Killian who was getting back into the car. Emma noticed they had stopped at a gas station. He was holding two take out coffee cups.

 “You okay there, Swan?” Killian asked, looking concerned. Emma shook her head to clear it from the obvious nightmare she’d been having. 

 “Yeah, sorry. Just a really weird dream.” He handed her the coffee cup which she graciously took. She took a sip as he settled himself back into his seat, placing his coffee cup in the cup holder next to him, and was pleasantly surprised at what she found in her cup.

 “Hot chocolate?” She queried as her tongue savored the sweet taste. “With whipped cream and cinnamon?” The spiciness of the cinnamon rounded out the sweetness right at the end of the sip.

 The tips of Killian’s ears went red and he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “Uh, yeah? I don’t know. I started making it before I even thought about why. Um, Alice likes it this way. I didn’t want to waste it.” He stumbled over the words, obviously embarrassed about bringing her a kids drink. He looked so cute, all blustering and blushing. She took another sip.

 “Well, it’s my favorite too. So Alice has good taste.” She said smiling at him and holding out her cup. He grabbed his cup from the holder and gave her a mock cheers in return, then he started the Jeep and got them back out on the road.

 Emma checked her watch and saw that they’d only been on the road for two hours. Just another two to go before they reached their intended destination. Before they got some answers.

 “Care to tell me what your dream was about?” Killian asked with a hint of caution in his voice. How could his voice just drip sex when he was just being a concerned person?

 “Oh, it was just a bunch of nonsense.” Emma said, trying to calm her body down. “Something about a beanstalk and a giant.  I think I must have been thinking too much about Hope and maybe that triggered an old fairy tale in my brain or something.” She smiled sheepishly and pulled a loose strand of hair from her ponytail to behind her ear.

 “Oh.” He said, sounding a little troubled by her response. “It’s, just, um, well...” He was nervous, continually rubbing at the back of his neck. Emma wasn’t sure why he was so nervous all of a sudden. It wasn’t like he was having inappropriate thoughts about her. Was he? “You, uh, screamed my name at the end, when you woke up.” Killian clarified.

 Emma could feel her skin getting hot and the blush creeping down her cheeks and into her chest. She thought back to the end of her dream, that moment between dreaming and waking up. There had been something about screaming babies and a woman, and…

 “I didn’t say Killian, I said Hook.” It came out like an accusation. Was he trying to embarrass her in some way. “I don’t even know what that means. I could have been dreaming about Captain Hook for all you know.” She crossed her arms over her chest, and now she was angry. Dammit!  

 “Oh, I…” Killian let out an exasperated huff. It must have been hard for him to have a decent conversation with her having to watch the road the whole time. She knew he could really only see her peripherally and was not getting the full range of emotions. “Sorry.” He said. “It’s just, with this thing,” he motioned his head toward his hooked appendage, “that’s something I tended to get called. My colorful moniker if you will.” He added looking at her quickly with a sexy smirk and a really bad attempt at a wink, that was still very flirtatious. Was he flirting with her? 

 And why did it feel perfectly natural despite the fact that their children were missing?

 Ever since Neal had died Emma hadn’t felt the need for a relationship. A one night-stand here or there, but they’d never felt right. She had no desire to attach herself to a man again. And yet, here she was, attempting to not flirt with this gorgeous man sitting beside her, who, from the looks of it, maybe was flirting with her too.

 Killian seemed to take her awkward silence as something else, because he immediately put his eyes back on the road.

 “Sorry, Swan, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. You can get back to fantasizing about Captain Hook, by all means.”

 Oh yes, he was definitely flirting. And it actually wasn’t awkward at all.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Killian could have kicked himself after the Captain Hook comment. He was trying to defuse the obvious tension in the Jeep. He just hadn’t realized the tension was sexual in nature on both sides. He’d felt the attraction right away, but the prospect of her son having kidnapped his daughter had put a damper on that. But somehow, finding out that Alice was safe and had gone willingly because Henry happened to be her favorite author, made the attraction to Emma come out full force. At least, that was the excuse he was telling himself.

 She had fallen asleep almost right away when he’d suggested taking a nap at the beginning of the trip. He’d been glad for it. Had given him some time to think about things, reflect on his life and what not.  He’d always felt like something was missing after Milah had died, but Alice had been enough. She was all that he needed. But now he was wondering.

 Wondering if the potential for a relationship had slipped out of his grasp now that he was 49. He refused to say he was almost 50. What a harsh number 50 sounded to him. Neither of his parents had made it to 50, or he guessed his father may have, but seeing as he left when Killian was small due to less than legal dealings, Killian had always assumed his death had caught up with him much sooner.

 Wondering if Alice was truly happy without a female influence in her life. She was his whole life, but from this whole camp experience and now running off with Swan’s children, he was beginning to realize that he was not her whole world anymore. He knew that day would come eventually, but did it have to coincide with his mid-life crisis as well?

 Wondering if there was potential for something with this woman softly snoring beside him, as long as Henry was telling the truth and no harm had befallen their children. Would that be weird to pursue a woman whose child had taken off with his child? Was that akin to Stockholm Syndrome in some way? Or, what was the quote from that awful Speed sequel that was on the other night? “Relationships based on extreme circumstances never work out.” Is it just the rush of the situation that is making him notice things like the way her eyelashes flutter when she breathes out in her sleep, or the stray piece of hair that he wants to move back behind her ear, or how her green eyes have tiny flecks of hazel in them.

 After about two hours he feels the need to use a restroom and grab some more coffee. He figures they’ll be eating at the lobster house (hopefully everything will be alright and they will have appetites at the lobster house), so he doesn’t get any snacks for them to share. He makes the hot cocoa with whipped cream and cinnamon before he even realizes he’s doing it. She drank coffee at his house this morning, but for some reason he automatically made the hot chocolate for her. 

 Alice had an affinity for the sweet concoction. Killian had no idea where she got the idea for it. She was not someone who liked sugary snacks or drinks. She prefered tea like he did, sour and licorice flavored candies, and fruit if she wanted something on the sweet side. He didn’t even keep hot cocoa in the house. He had gone into a convenience store once for a cup of coffee before they took a trip somewhere, he can’t even remember where, but she had insisted on a cup of it and adding the whipped cream and cinnamon. It had been summer time, so he’d been surprised there was even any hot cocoa in stock. Alice had been five or six if he recalled correctly. So any time he went somewhere with her he got her the chocolate treat. He hadn’t even thought about it in the gas station when he got himself his coffee this time. He blamed it on Alice being on his mind.

 He’d come back to the car to find her in the throes of a nightmare, thrashing about in her seat. . He wasn’t sure if he should try to wake her or let her ride it out. Alice had nightmares as a child and the therapist he’d gone to see after Milah’s death had suggested to let her work through them, that waking her up could be detrimental to what she was working through.

 “HOOK!” Emma shouted as she bolted up as much as she could being belted into the seat. The name jarred Killian. He hadn’t been called Hook in a long time. Back when he first lost the hand he’d had a few of his coworkers start referring to him by that due to the hook he wore at work to help him out. Once he got into management he started wearing the prosthetic to work and the nickname died out, and also because he was now their boss, and it wasn’t appropriate to call him that. He could only imagine what Emma was dreaming about that had caused her to call out his old moniker.

 “You okay there, Swan?” His eyebrows furrowed in concern. Emma didn’t seem the type to have nightmares. He could tell she was a pretty tough woman. She’d told him she worked in bail bonds when he’d tried to be chivalrous and open the Jeep door for her, scoffing at him and everything. If they hadn’t been in the middle of, whatever it was they were in the middle of, he’d have kissed her right then and there.

 “Yeah, sorry. Just a really weird dream.” She said, shaking her blonde ponytail about. He placed his coffee cup in his cup holder and then handed Emma hers. He had just started to maneuver his hook into the driving apparatus when he saw her smile at the sip that she took.

 “Hot chocolate?” Killian could see her savoring the flavor in her mouth.  “With whipped cream and cinnamon?” He’d almost forgotten that he’d gotten that for her instead of coffee. He felt the heat of embarrassment creep across his face and his ears, and his hand automatically went to the back of his neck, a nervous tick he’d never been able to kick.

  “Uh, yeah? I don’t know. I started making it before I even thought about why. Um, Alice likes it this way. I didn’t want to waste it.” God, he was an idiot. He couldn’t even get this beautiful woman a grown up drink. She must think him the biggest buffoon ever.

 “Well, it’s my favorite too. So Alice has good taste.” She smiled the most genuine smile he’d seen from her yet. It seemed she had an affinity for hot chocolate as well. Killian mentally patted himself on the back. They pretended to toast their drinks, both taking a sip. Killian put his coffee cup back in the holder and got them back on the road. They had another two hours to go before they would reach the lobster house.

 He should have just turned the music back on. Or made some small talk. Asked her more about being a bail bonds woman. Hell, even ask her about Hope and Henry. Talking about their daughters should have been the most natural topic to talk about given their circumstances, but, no, he had to ask about the damn dream.

 “Care to tell me what your dream was about?” He didn’t want to pry too much, but he was also curious about why she yelled out his old nickname.

 She looked at him with ...confusion? He wasn’t sure what the look was that she was currently giving him. “Oh, it was just a bunch of nonsense.” Emma said. She took a deep breath as though the dream were still lingering on her mind. “Something about a beanstalk and a giant.  I think I must have been thinking too much about Hope and maybe that triggered an old fairy tale in my brain or something.” She tucked a strand of her ponytail that had come loose back behind her ear, and Killian wished he wasn’t driving at the moment so he could have done it instead.

 “Oh.” That was not the response Killian was hoping for. Of course, it’s not like she would have just come out and said I was having a sex dream about you.  “It’s, just, um, well...” He rubbed at the back of his neck again, making sure to still keep his eyes on the road and keep his hook in the steering apparatus. Should he tell her that she said the name he used to be called? She might be embarrassed that she was dreaming of his hook and called that out. He quickly made the decision to say something. He rarely flirted with women anymore, and something inside him told him she wouldn’t be upset. “You, uh, screamed my name at the end, when you woke up.” 

 Killian could see out of the corner of his eye that she was all flushed. Had she really been dreaming about him?

 “I didn’t say Killian, I said Hook.” Emma practically spat out. “I don’t even know what that means. I could have been dreaming about Captain Hook for all you know.” Killian could see that maybe telling her that had been a mistake. But now she seemed to be accusing him of making things up. 

“Oh, I…” Don’t ruffle the woman who you have to spend another two hours in the car with, you git!  “Sorry. It’s just, with this thing,” Killian nodded his head to his left side, “that’s something I tended to get called. My colorful moniker if you will.” And, as if it were beyond his control, he turned quickly toward her, gave her a smile and a wink, and then turned his head back to the road. 

 He immediately regretted doing that. But it had felt completely natural. Like it was something he would do with her. His skin prickled under the slight unease he’d now brought into their conversation. What was she thinking? Was she thinking he was an absolute letch? He thought the flirting was coming from both sides, but maybe he was wrong. Or maybe, he thought as he peeked slightly at her and seeing her slight flush coming back, she was thinking the exact same things he was thinking.

 “Sorry, Swan, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. You can get back to fantasizing about Captain Hook, by all means.”

 Killian settled his eyes back on the road with another little smirk, but he could feel the tension in the air disappearing, with the smile he’d seen peeking out of the corners of Emma’s mouth before he had put them back on the road completely.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Emma and Killian spent the next two hours talking about anything and everything. It was all that Emma had imagined really getting to know someone was like, something she’d never had growing up.  

 She learned how Killian had lost his parents at a young age.

  “Cancer. Can’t really remember what kind, I was pretty young. I just know she was sick and then she was gone.” 

 He paused slightly, “It took a few years, but then my father left as well. I was in my teens. He just didn’t come home and then I think some guys came looking for him. It’s all real hazy. I just know he must have been doing something illegal.” Emma nodded along realizing they had similar backgrounds. 

 “I started working at the docks as soon as I got out of high school so I could make some money to go to community college, but I really liked working near the water. I’d hoped to save up for a boat someday and run tours out of the harbor, but then….” He trailed off and Emma could see a far away look glaze his eyes over. “I met my Milah. Again, the details are kind of fuzzy, but she was married, he was abusive. She had run away to the docks at one point after one of their rows, and I saw  her, crying, and being the gentleman that I am,” Emma rolled her eyes and gave a small snort to that statement. She wasn’t sure why as he’d been nothing but a gentleman, but it had just bubbled up as if it were the most natural reaction to that statement. “I’m always a gentleman, Swan.” He responded in a slightly flirtatious tone and that smirk that once again made Emma’s cheeks blush. “I offered to take her to the police. She almost refused, I found out later it wasn’t the first time this had happened, but she eventually realized this handsome stranger, her words, not mine, Swan; I’d have gone with dashing rapscallion,”  Emma put her hand over mouth as if she was trying to suppress a laugh, but she was secretly smiling, “was everything her husband was not. I was kind and caring and nurturing, and we were friends for a long time as I helped her prepare to leave her husband. And then we went past the friendship stage, and she realized I was also someone who truly loved and cherished her.” Killian gave a sad smile at the memory. Emma could only imagine that type of love, having never experienced it herself. 

 “Of course, her husband wasn’t happy when she left him, and I can’t really say where he went, just that once he lost his power over Milah, he left us alone.” He frowned a little bit at that part, as if he hadn’t got it quite right and was trying to remember some specific detail. The pause was so great that it almost seemed as if his story had come to an end, but then he continued on. 

 “We had tried for years to get pregnant. We assumed that it wasn’t in the cards when Alice came along. It was a cruel fate of the gods that my Milah only got to see the first two years of Alice’s life before she died.” He took a shuddering breath before pressing on. “It’s been me and Alice ever since.” And in a much happier tone, “I think we did pretty well for ourselves considering.” He gave a quick smile to Emma before turning his attention back on the road.

 Emma, in turn, told him about her past, things even some of her closest friends didn’t know about. It was eerie how easy it was to open up to him. 

 She was an orphan, “Found on the side of the highway. I don’t know what kind of parents do that to a newborn. I can only imagine it was some teenaged mother who couldn’t bear to kill me herself and hoped either a car or nature would do it for her.” Emma seethed. 

 Being bounced around from foster home to foster home, “I had a family for the first three years of my life, it’s how I got the Swan name. But when they got pregnant they gave me back.” Emma said rather sadly. It had always been a point of contention with her that someone would throw away a child once they finally had one of their own. Had they really loved her that little? 

 How she’d met Neal and their life of crime together. “You stole a stolen car?” Killian asked incredulously. “He was asleep in the back seat, how was I supposed to know?” Emma said slightly defensive. 

 She told him how Neal had framed her and left her in jail, “Bloody wanker he was.” Killian retorted, almost as if he were responsible for Neal doing that to her.  

 And how she’d found out she was pregnant, “But I was determined to do something better by Henry. I didn’t want him to have the same doubts and questions I did, so I collected him from the foster home he’d been in, I got my GED in prison, and I found a job and housing through an outreach program.” Emma said proudly. She didn’t actually remember a lot of those details, but just remembered how satisfied she’d felt when she was able to retrieve Henry and do something with her life.

  “Neal came back when Henry was 11. I don’t remember why or how anymore, just that now that he knew about Henry he wanted to be a part of our lives again.” Emma sighed, vaguely remembering how angry she’d been at Neal for just showing up back in their lives.  “I never fully forgave him, but I let him back in for Henry’s sake. And obviously succumbed to his charms, again, because, Hope.”  She furrowed her brow trying to reach for the emotions that had come from that particular reunion, but found that she couldn’t find them. It was like she knew the memory was there but perhaps the emotions that went with it had faded from time. That didn’t seem right, but what other explanation was there?

 Emma took a deep breath as she came to the part that required her to bare more of her soul than she was comfortable with, yet she felt it was easy to bare it to Killian. “I could never truly love him. He’d broken that trust when he’d sent me to jail. And even though we were stable and both in a good place, when he died in the fire, it was like a weight had been lifted off my chest that I would no longer have to wait for the other shoe to drop. Hope and Henry are enough, they’ve always been enough, and they are all I need.”

 She started to chew on a fingernail, an old nervous habit of hers, after all that had been said. “Well,” Emma said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat and adjusting her seatbelt as if that’s what was making her uncomfortable, “that, was…”

 “A lot?” Killian said with a slight laugh. Emma could tell he was trying to lighten the situation, as if they hadn’t just unburdened all their past trauma to each other. And yet, it didn’t feel weird to be telling someone who’d been a stranger until that morning about her past.

 ‘Look, Swan.” Killian began, placing his hand on hers in her lap. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of here. We’ve both had atrocious childhoods, but nothing that could be done by either of us to change anything. We’ve both overcome it to lead admirable lives and have wonderful children. This...whatever this is with Henry and the girls, is merely a small blip. I’m sure it’ll just be another amusing story we tell in years to come.” Emma’s skin broke out in goosebumps, not missing how he used the word we as if they would be telling the story together, something she didn’t seem utterly opposed to, especially since she’d also thought it earlier. She was about to say something back when her stomach let out a loud grumble. She smiled sheepishly.

 “Guess I should have insisted you wait for me to get a snack at that last stop, huh?” She commented, pushing a little on her stomach. Killian quickly drew his hand away. The placement of it now seeming too familiar, like he’d had his hand on hers over her stomach plenty of times before.

 “It looks like we’re about 15 minutes away now.” He said, checking the time on his map app on his phone. Plus it’s almost noon. We haven’t eaten since breakfast at 7:30 when we were leaving. Or whatever you called that ridiculous pastry that you insisted was breakfast.” Killian said shaking his head, some of his hair falling into his eyes. Emma was about to remark how a bear claw is not a pastry, but a superior breakfast food, but her mind had instead conjured up an image of Killian leaning over her with that hair hanging over her, his blue eyes gazing at her hungrily as though he were going to devour her right then and there. The image that was now seared in her mind felt more like a memory rather than a fantasy. Where the hell had that come from?

 After the outpouring of tragic backstories, they listened to the radio instead of talking for the rest of the drive. Killian still had it on a Classic Rock station, the smooth sounds of Take it Easy by The Eagles wafting throughout the Jeep. This had been Classic Rock when she’d been a child and she smiled, thanking god that he didn’t listen to the music his daughter was probably interested in. Emma hated when she’d catch herself singing along to whatever famous-at-the-moment popstar was on the radio because Hope was currently obsessed with their songs. He even sang along to the songs under his breath, which was adorable.

 Emma tried not to be too obvious about staring at Killian, especially when he was singing, but even his profile was gorgeous. She was sure he’d been a looker when he was younger, but she still thought he was a fine specimen of a man. She wished she’d been able to see the gray starting at his temples, getting to make fun of him for finally looking his age. She frowned a little at that thought. Where had that come from? Emma shook her head from that line of thinking and noticed that they were entering a more wooded area, civilization falling behind them. But it wasn’t until they were only five minutes away that Emma’s brain started getting that niggling feeling, like she was forgetting something important, and her arms broke out in gooseflesh. And that’s when she realized that this road looked awfully familiar.

 It had been 19 years, but she knew exactly what this place would look like. She’d been there before. Emma was surprised the place still existed as she remembered the woman working at the counter had told her the food wasn’t that good and didn’t exactly instill customer loyalty. She was surprised that when Henry told her the name she hadn’t remembered. 

 How did she forget the place she was discovered as a newborn?

 How did she forget meeting the person who would turn her life around from one of crime (she hasn’t told Killian that part, the part where she had lost her job and due to her criminal record could find another one and had resorted to petty thefts and pickpocketing to help her and Henry survive) to a badass bail bondsperson? Hope’s middle name was Cleo after all, the name of the woman who believed in her and taught her about building those walls and inspiring the red leather jacket of armor she still wore to this day (although, not the original, that was long gone in the fire). It was as if the memory had been buried and had suddenly exploded to the surface when they’d rounded that corner.

 Emma could see the outdoor patio as they turned the corner and her heart started picking up speed. The sign proclaiming the name of the establishment still had its red lettering and outline, although a little worse for wear now after so many years. Emma started to sweat as Killian pulled into the parking lot. Just a moment ago she’d had goosebumps and now she felt like she needed to rip all her clothes off for how hot she was feeling. It was as Killian pulled into a spot that Emma’s heart felt as if it were going to explode from her chest and she started having, what she assumed, was a full blown panic attack.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Killian wasn’t sure what had happened. One moment Swan had been nodding her head along to the music, and then she’d gone extremely quiet, and now he thought she might be having a heart attack.

 Her breathing was erratic as she took in great big gulps of air, like she couldn’t breath. Her lovely face, that had had beautiful smiles on it earlier in their car trip was now pale, clammy, and covered in sweat. It was when she closed her green eyes and put her head in her lap that he realized she may be having a panic attack.

 Killian understood panic attacks. He’d had them for years after Milah died. Sometimes he’d wake up having one; once he’d even had one just from feeling the heat from the stove (he’d burned dinner that night). Over the years (and through therapy) he’d learned how to calm himself down when he was in the height of one, and even though he had no idea what had triggered Emma’s, he was sure as hell going to try and calm her down.

 “Emma.” He said with a calming and soothing voice and slowly turning the car engine off now that they had arrived at their destination. “Emma, love, can you hear me?” He dared not touch her, even though his fingers itched to give her comfort. He remembered how Alice, being much too young to understand why her Papa was shaking uncontrollably on the floor, had tried to lay her head in his lap, more for her own comfort than his, and him practically throwing her off of him. Her subsequent crying had actually brought him out of the attack, his paternal instincts kicking in over the panic that had overtaken him. But he knew that touching Emma would be more about what he wanted than what she could take at the moment. “Emma?” He asked again.

 She shook her head in her lap and grunted something unintelligible, but it was a definite indication that she wasn’t all right.

 “Emma,” Killian said again soothingly, “darling, I think you’re in the midst of a panic attack.” Talk her down, that’s what he needed to do. Provide her with a measure of safety. “Can you take my hand?” he asked, holding his hand out next to her. Emma bolted upright in her seat, eyes still tightly shut, sweat still on her brow, breathing still all over the place, but she thrust her hand into his and squeezed it.

 “Well, I’ll admit, Swan, this was not how I imagined holding your hand for the first time.” He joked and then silently berated himself for flirting during this situation. Smooth, Jones. He thought to himself. Real smooth. But Emma gave a slight laugh, so he figured he must be doing something right. Holding her hand certainly felt right, and slightly familiar. Killian could already hear her breathing evening out. She squeezed his hand about every ten seconds or so until the shaking and the sweating stopped. After what seemed like a century, but had only been about one minute according to the digital clock on the dash, Emma finally relaxed her face and her eyes slowly opened. Her color and breathing had returned to normal and she relaxed the vice-like grip she’d had on his hand.

 “I’m sorry.” Emma said, taking back her hand and using it to brush some of the matted hair off her face. She kept her eyes gazing straight ahead, looking directly at the lobster house. 

 “Not to worry. Although, I was afraid I was going to be left with no hands at one point.” He gave her a goofy grin and waggled his eyebrows, even though she wouldn’t look in his direction. She smiled at the joke at least. A wonderful smile that got her back to her normal state a bit quicker he hoped. “I used to get panic attacks after Milah died.” He shrugged, letting her know she wasn’t alone. She took one more deep breath which seemed to finally put her back to rights.

 “This place…” She began, “Henry wouldn’t have known. There’s no way he would’ve known.” Killian wasn’t sure what she was getting at, she seemed to be babbling to herself now, until, “Killian, this is where I was brought as a baby when I was found!”

 And now he understood. He couldn’t imagine how he’d feel if he had to go back to someplace that had such a negative connotation to it.

 Emma was wringing her hands in her lap. Although he’d only met her this morning, he knew being vulnerable was not something that happened to her often. He knew she thrived on being strong and not letting others see her weaknesses.

 “Emma.” He said as he put his large hand over her small ones to calm them down. “It’s just a place. It doesn’t hold any power over you.” He hoped that was the right thing to say and that she didn’t spiral out into another attack. Instead, she laughed; a thoroughly hearty laugh.

 “Okay, Goblin King.” She gave out a final laugh before pulling herself together. And then there she was again, the Emma Swan who he’d met that morning, no trace of vulnerability left. She pulled down the visor mirror and scrubbed her face, getting rid of the redness that had been there, and then redid her ponytail the best she could without a brush on her. Killian wanted to offer to help her, having mastered ponytails and braids for Alice with just the one hand, but the flirting seemed out of place now after everything that had just occurred.

 “Let’s go in and see our children.” Emma grabbed the car door handle and swiftly exited the car ready to face this challenge.

Tag List: (Let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@profdanglaisstuff @thisonesatellite @mariakov81 @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @jennjenn615 @kmomof4 @superchocovian @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @cssns @itsfabianadocarmo​ @xsajx​  @qualitycoffeethings @snowbellewells​

[kickin-with-dixon]

Mouthing Off

Daryl x Reader 

Prompts List 5 #95 “Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?” 

Requested by @twdeadfanfic​

Word Count: 1500

Warnings: Language like seriously LANGUAGE, fighting, mentions of typical TWD violence, anger, sadness 

A/N: Excited to be back! I haven’t written for TWD in like literally forever! Please please feel free to reach out and obsess over all things TWD and SPN with me. REQUESTS are currently CLOSED.  They will open back up after I get a couple more fics posted :) 

Masterlist  |  Tag Lists  |  Ask Me Anything  |  What’s Coming? 

The beat of your feet echoes off the trees as they will you closer to the man responsible for all this, “RICK!” His bloody bandaged hand rises beside his head, waving you off. He can’t even be bothered to turn around and look at you, or say anything. Your blood boils red hot under skin covered in blood, sweat, and tears. “RICK!” 

Finally, he speaks up, “Not here.” 

Not here, my ass. One last push, and your legs allow you to catch him, your hand harshly yanking at his arm forcing his body to turn towards yours, “NO! Right here. Right now!”  

Rick shakes his head sending beads of sweat to his shoulders and the ground around him, “Y/N, don’t do this. Don’t-” 

“Don’t what?” Your finger pushes harder into his chest as you step closer and get up in his face, “Don’t call you on your bullshit? Don’t let everyone know that all of this could have been avoided?” 

Michonne steps forward and lays a hand on your shoulder, “Y/N-” 

Your arm flies back, shaking her hand off with ease, “Get your hands off of me.” Rick holds his hand up to her, nodding to let her know to back off. “Go ahead, Rick. Why don’t you fill everyone in on what really happened.” Stepping back and gesturing to the rest of the group, “tell ‘em why we’re really out here, huh.” 

His blue eyes looked around the group, and briefly to the ground. “What I did is what had to be done, Y/N. We had to come for them before they ca-” 

Your hands connect roughly with his chest in a swift shove, “Stop with the bureaucratic bullshit Rick! This was all your ego. You had to make sure that you pissed on everyone else and assert your dominance. They were never coming for us .” 

Rick’s nostrils flared as his lip curled, “I don’t have to explain it again. I don’t have to justify my actions any further. It’s my job to keep this group safe!” 

Fury flashed behind your Y/E/C eyes, “Keep this group safe?!? Are you fucking kidding me, right now?!” Before you know it your fist collides squarely with his jaw, knocking him back a step. “Take a look around, asshole. Do these people look safe?” Your fist connects again, this time in his abdomen, “How about the people we lost? Are they safe? Oh, no, they were just collateral damage, right?” 

Michonne yanks you back, “Enough!” 

Still fuming, you begin to pace, and what starts as a faint chuckle grows into an actual laugh. Rick raises his hand to wipe the crimson leaking from his lip, “You know, you got a lot of nerve attacking me for what I did. I mean, Ya know after everything that happened to your little group.” 

“You dick!” You charge past Michonne, headed straight for him, “Are you fucking kidding me, you arogant bastard! You don’t get to ever say shit about them! You don’t know shit about any of it! Get you head out of your ass long enough to realize that.” 

Glenn and Michonne try to grab you, “Y/N, Y/N enough!” 

“Get the hell off of me!” You snarl yanking your body free of their grasps. “Can’t you see what a self centered, PSYCHOTIC, fucker he really is, or all of you really just that fucking blind?” 

Just as the words leave your mouth, Daryl appears from the words, rejoining the group after trailing off for a while. His features contort as he takes in the scene before him. What the hell? “Y/N, com’ on”, he gestures with his hand to walk away. All that you offer is a cold glare, and return your eyes to Rick, “Dammit, Y/N, com’ on. You said your peace, now let’s go.” 

“ I ain’t giving up that fucking easy. I’m not gonna just roll over and obey every fucking command out of this asshole’s mouth without a goddamn good reason!” Suddenly, someone grabs you, throwing you over their shoulder. “Dammit Daryl, put me the hell down!” 

“I got her,” he says to the group, “Meet y’all back at home.” Rick nods, throwing his hand up in a circular motion, rounding everyone back up and on their way. 

Your fists slam down against Daryl’s back, doing little against the solid muscle, “Jesus Christ, put me down.” You keep squirming, kicking and hitting making him know that he’s gonna damn sure be sore if he was gonna keep this shit up.  ‘Daryl, I swear to God. Put me the fuck down right now! 

“Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?”  He grunts, and keeps walking off deeper into the woods. 

“Fuck you!” You punctuate your statement with a hard jab of your elbow to his back. 

His gruff breathing, the swishing of the leaves, and the occasional snap of a twig floods your senses. You’d never admit it, but you’re losing some steam. The fight earlier took a lot out of you, and this tantrum wasn’t helping anything. “Bout time ya settled down,” he says. To which you roll your eyes, and grunt back. Maybe he needs to hear it in his own language. 

Finally, the sound of a running creek falls on your ears, the movement of water offering a slight cool down in the air. He sets you down by the water, and immediately you back up, shoulders squared, “Alright fine, you got me here. Now what?” 

He shrugs. “Do what you gotta. But ya better damn sure get it out here . That shit,” he points back to the road where you had been earlier, “that ain’t gonna fly. Ya need to stop that.” 

Your arms cross against your chest, “You can’t seriously agree with that asshole!” 

“It ain’t about whether I agree with him. We don’t know that they wouldn’t have come for-“ 

“Exactly! We didn’t know.  I thought you of all people would understand that.” You begin to pace. “We lost people. Good people, for something that wasn’t even a threat.” The anger has begun to bleed into grief. “I..dammit…” you turn your back, not wanting the tears falling down your cheeks to be seen. “I… I can’t lose anybody else.” 

“Y/N…” Daryl’s voice was softer now. His footsteps light and slow as he approached. “Y/N…” HIs hand reaches out to your shoulder causing a sob that you’re fighting so hard to keep in to escape your lips. It’s all over then, the floodgates swing wide open. Every repressed emotion, every memory like a tidal wave crashing into you. You feel arms around your waist, catching you as your knees give way. “I gotcha. I gotcha.” 

His body sinks to the ground with yours, holding you tightly as you shake with the weight of everything. You stay like that for what seems like an eternity. He doesn’t say anything, just sits there, your back resting against his chest until you’re ready. Your voice was barely a whisper, “..I’m sorry…” 

His chest rumbles against your back as he speaks, “What?” 

“I’m sorry…” You raise your head, and wipe your face, “ I shouldn-“ 

“Hey. Stop that.” His breath fans against your neck, “What ya went through…. It’s terrible. Ya lost a lot of people. Ya seen things no one should have to see, but that don’t mean that everythin’ around ya is gonna fall apart. It don’t mean that everythin’’ is gonna break you.” Sobs rip from your throat as he continues to speak. “Ya got a choice to make, Y/N. Ya can let it keep eatin ya until there’s nothin’ left,” 

“Or?” You sniffle.

 “Or ya can remember ‘em. Ya remember why ya fight. Ya honor ‘em by living.” He releases a ragged breath, and you can tell he was on the verge of letting his own tears fall, “I was angry for a long time. I damn near got myself killed. Hell, I wanted to die. I picked fights, did stupid shit, but then I realized I have a lot left to fight for. Even though I don’t understand why, I got a lot of people left who care about me. So do you.” He rests his head on your shoulder, “You ain’t alone. S’bout time ya stop actin’ like ya are.” 

Your fingers lightly trace a mindless on the back of his hand, “How…?” 

He stands up, and offers his hand, “For starters, don’t start shit in the middle of the road in front of everybody.” You take his hand, and wipe a final tear from your cheek as you get to your feet. “Not everyone’s against ya, ya hear me.” 

Nodding your head in agreement, you square your shoulders again to regain composure. “Thank you, Daryl.” 

He offers a nod in return, “yea.” His hand reaches for yours, and starts back toward the road, “Now com’ on, let’s get back before it gets dark. Ya gotta make it right.” 

“I know.” 

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Daryl Dixon

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