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#some people write AUs so well but I wouldn't be one of them tbh that's for sure 🤣🤣🤣
keylovesstuff · 1 year
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13 and 30? :D
Is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth?
Alternate Universe. I feel like it's already challenging to keep characters in character as they're presented in media. So not only would I have to come up with some engaging plot to drop some pre-existing characters in, but also try to keep the in character enough to make whoevers reading think "Yeah blank would totally be like this if they were in this type of universe". If they sway too far from their in-universe counterparts , its like might as well create your original story at that point (at least imo) 🤫.
Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future.
A longfic!??!! You're asking the impossible from me. It's already a challenge writing a decent 4k oneshot 🤣🤣 and at least when I think of longfics, I think multi-chapter fics and oh gosh, thinking of an overarching plot and spanning it for so many chapters 😳. No ideas in the near future, at least for me, but I think it would be so fun to try my hand at rewriting a season for a show or movie, which would probably actually help with those prints maybe now that I'm thinking about it. 🤔
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moki-dokie · 11 months
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been seeing some stuff on blue eye samurai and big yikes to nearly everyone pushing extremely western ideals onto these characters.
this is early edo period. 1600s. the japan you know now did not exist yet.
yall. please. there was NO concept of sexuality in pre-modern japan. that came with both the influx of christianity and western influence very very late in history. like, mid-1800s. (yes, there was christianity pre-1800s but it was not a widespread idea yet and wouldn't be until about the 1800s since, y'know, missionaries were routinely murdered before then)
"so and so is either bi and hasn't figured it out yet or..." no. that isn't how it worked then. nobody gave a shit what was between your legs. anyone could be attracted to anyone else. it was a little more common for male homosexual relationships to be between an adult and younger male - like many other places around the world - but two adult men could bang and love each other just as easily. relationships between women were quite common - especially since so many men were often away at war. there's tons of pornographic prints from the time depicting all manner of fun queer relationships. sex itself had absolutely no moral assignment to it. good sex was good health. it didn't matter who with. (well, social class/caste mattered more than anything else tbh but that didn't stop upper and lower class from fucking.) that isn't to say people didn't have preferences. of course they did. that is human nature. preferences arose more from physical appearance, caste, and circumstances with gender being about the last thing one would look for in a partner - romantic, casual, or otherwise. the only role in sex where gender actually mattered was for procreation.
there would be no queer awakening moment, no sudden switch flipped, no stigma to have internal conflicts about because it simply did not exist as a concept whatsoever. you were either attracted to a person or you weren't, it was that simple. gender played no role when it came to sex and sexual attraction. the japanese were lightyears ahead of western cultures in this particular area - like most cultures were before christianity came in and ruined everything with its backwards morals and strict good/evil dichotomy.
yall have got to realize queer rep will not and should not always adhere by modern western standards. there was no straight, gay, bi, or anything else of the sort. the closest they ever got was referring to roles during sex - as in who is giving and who is receiving.
i know this is mostly a made up story but it is still set within a very specific time period and culture, which should be honored and respected by not making it fit into our box. tons of research went into making this show historically accurate (albeit with some discrepancies but tbh they aren't really that huge) right down to the calligraphy writing. please please please don't whitewash the culture from these characters.
i say this mainly because without this knowledge, so many of you are going to build these characters up on a foundation they aren't meant to be on and then you'll rage about queerbaiting and bad queer rep if it isn't somehow super explicitly stated, if it doesn't match your very modern, very western ideal of what queer looks like. don't try to force this plot and narrative and characters into something they canonically and historically aren't. headcanons are a thing, AUs are a thing, fanfiction is a thing - leave your western thinking for those and let these characters simply exist as they should otherwise. this is one of those times where the queerness really does not need to be examined at all beyond what we get.
i know it can be hard to wrap your head around - sexuality is such a huge part of our identity in the western world and has slowly started to spread amongst other parts of the world in importance. but just keep in mind with these particular characters, that concept would be so very alien to them.
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redbullgirly · 7 months
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HI BABRIE! HI KEN! [part 3, LH44 smau]
Lewis Hamilton x pregnant!reader [social media au]
Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 1, LH44 smau] & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 2, LH 44 smau]
Summary: Lewis and his "real-life Barbie" girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N have a secret they keep from the fans. Though it's only matter of time before they announce the happy news... it's not like it can stay hidden forever anyways.
Warnings: Pregnancy. Slight hate and bodyshaming towards Y/N. If you're not in the right headspace, please don't read it!🫶
Author's Note: After quite some time, hello! I'm so sorry this took so long, but life has been so busy and hectic last month I simply didn't have time and energy to write this sooner. Though I'm very glad for everyone who waited for this part and I hope you'll like it. It's probably not the last one, I have few ideas for more parts. But I don't want to promise anything, we all know how long this part took XD.
lewishamilton posted on instagram
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liked by orlandobloom, f1, sebastianvettel, emmawatson and others
tagged: yourcharity
lewishamilton So proud to support charity program for the involvement of children from disadvantaged families in sports yourusername has been working on for a few years now. All money raised from the friendly basketball match goes to the fond of the charity. Let's change lives of these talented kids together! 💫🙏🏾
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user1 basketball players should be grateful our king chose to be f1 driver 😌
user2 fr
yourusername together we can change the world for better!! 💫💕
liked by the author
user3 You make our lives better by existing Y/N😍😍
user4 I think this is too idealistic lol
user5 queen speaking facts and keeping us motivated
user6 LET HER COOK 🗣🗣🗣
user7 Sir Lewis Hamilton is Sir for a reason 👑
mercedesamgf1 🙏🤍
user8 even though he'll be driving for ferrari next year mercedes still supports him!!!
user9 and what did you think? that they'll ignore him or hate him suddenly? he still got a whole season w them 🤣 plus it's all marketing
user10 nah i'll just live in delusion that admin loves lewis & y/n🥰🥰🥰🥰
user11 I love how you use your platform to raise awareness
user12 omg he's so hot 🥵
user13 Wait, why is Lewis at Y/N's charity event instead of her? I usually support her, but this is just weird... why can't she stand up for her own thing?
user14 RIGHT?! idk why she didn't even bother showing there
user15 Honestly I think that Lewis going there brings more attention to it than just her going there, and it's a good thing people are noticing this organization. Though I don't understand why she didn't go there as well 🤷‍♀️
user16 guys stop wtf she could be sick or smth
user14 or she's just another attention seeker... never liked her tbh
user16 the only attention seeker here is u user14 get a life and stop hating 😘
user14 i'm not hating, i'm stating facts and unlike y/n i don't need a man to do shit for me lmfao
user17 Y'all are really getting mad over nothing xddd
user18 Amazing work! 👏 you make the difference, Lewis😍🖤💛
user19 the fact he has pink pants bc it's y/n's fav color and it's for a charity event she helped organize... i want a man like him 😩
user20 He's down bad for her!!!
user21 I mean... who wouldn't, just look at her🤭
user22 fr what i'd give to talk to y/n once
user23 Our fashion barbie iconic Queen 💖💖
user24 Lew giving the little boy a fist bump🥹
user25 he is going to be a great dad one day
user24 Oh definitely!🫶
user26 can't wait for dad lewis
user27 omggg imagine little him and y/n running around the paddock 😭😭
user26 they'll be sooo cute istg
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yourusername posted on instagram
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liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, landonorris, isahernaez and 639,910 others
tagged: mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco
yourusername japan grand prix w my favs 🇯🇵🤍
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lewishamilton 🤍🤍
liked by the author
user1 awww i live for bf lewis
user2 YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER
user3 and who would that be user2 ?? you? lmfao u wish🤣🤣
user4 the disrespect of writing these things under HIS COMMENT where he shows SUPPORT to HIS GIRLFRIEND...
user5 Lewis & Y/N 4ever 🫶
user6 omg look at roscoe baby so cute
user7 the teeth I can't🥹
user8 It's Roscoe's world and we're just living in it fr
alexandrasaintmleux so prettyyy 🙏🌺
liked by lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco
yourusername oh stoppp u are prettier 💓💐
user9 Girls supporting girls and wags supporting wags... that's what we like!!!!
user10 the fact lewis liked alex's comment w two accounts is the best thing that happened this week😭
user11 shut uppp I didn't even notice it before user10 😭 he's such a simp I love this 😭😭
user10 i knoooow😭
user12 finally you attended a grand prix this year!!!!
user13 😍😍😍😍😍
mercedesamgf1 It's always brighter with you in the paddock Barbie Y/N!💖
liked by the author, lewishamilton and carmenmmundt
yourusername next time i'm going all out w the pink 💖🫶
user14 the legend herselffff
user15 Admin is slaying and supporting Y/N 💁‍♀️
user16 MOTHER IS SERVING ONCE AGAIN🧎🏻‍♀️
roscoelovescoco Enjoying's dad's racing's w my's best's mum's ☺️🏎
yourusername enjoying dad racing w my best son 🥹💕
user17 not roscoe slowly learning y/n's slang and saying w instead of with🤭
user18 and the fact Lewis is the one really writing it... !!!!!
user19 They're such cute a family🥰
user20 mum and dad and son... I can't it's too adorable 🫠❤️‍🩹
user21 Literally the queen of f1 and gorgeousness keep slaying
user22 where is the usual barbie aesthetic?!😥
user23 fr I want pink dresses not blue trousers
user24 Guys she can wear whatever she wants
user23 yeah true but still... she already built that image so why not keep it wtf 🤷‍♀️
user25 Covering her fat stomach with the purse ewww 🤢🥴
user26 i wanna take u haters seriously... but I just can't xd
user27 if you have anger issues like me and don't like online trolls, pls stop scrolling people! there are so many dumb users from twitter in these comments!🙃
user28 I just don't get why they're hating on Y/N all of sudden... what did she ever do to them
user29 idk, probably bcs she wasn't active for a while (she was probably not feeling well or smth as she said in an interview few days back) and didn't attend any gp till japan this year (again she was probably sick so understandable)... plus lot of f1 "fans" are jealous bitches change my mind
user30 Internet always moves in waves and one time everybody loves u and then they hate u 😬
user31 yeah but it's so sad cause y/n is such a sweetheart🥺❤️
user32 I honestly wouldn't care about the haters if they didn't attack her body and the way she looks... that's down right embarrassing and disgusting
user33 AGREED user32
twitter & messages between Y/N and Lewis
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lewishamilton and yourusername posted on instagram
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liked by maxverstappen1, shawnmendes, t22felton, charles_leclerc and 27,925,028 others
lewishamilton It's hard to put into words how happy and excited we are. Can't wait to hold our baby in a few months and support my dearest love on every step of the way. Feeling blessed right now 🤍🪐
comments on this post have been limited
charles_leclerc Well, that's a shocking news I didn't know about this time...😂
charles_leclerc But big congratulations!❤️
yourusername yeah we needed to give u heart attack w smth too 😉💋
susie_wolff Congratulations Lewis and Y/N, you will be great parents! 💫🫶
yourusername thx susie, we have great role models in u and toto!!! ✨❤️‍🩹
lewishamilton 🫶🏾🫶🏾
kellypiquet what a great news!🥹
yourusername love u kelly 💕
sebastianvettel Many congratulations!
lewishamilton Thank you Seb!
yourusername will u be the fun uncle??? pls seb 🥹🙏
sebastianvettel If you'll make me their godfather....
yourusername done deal 🤝
lewishamilton I-... fair enough, done deal
fencer EXCUSE ME?!! THAT'S NOT FAIR
charles_leclerc Yeah what is this favorism?!
yourusername guys it's seb how could we say no 😌✨
charles_leclerc True... fair enough then I guess 🙂
fencer I still feel VERY offended
yourusername charles don't use that ironic emoji on me and fencer u can have the second child
lewishamilton Darling that sounds like you're sacrificing our second child while the first one isn't even born yet...
yourusername whoops 🫢🙈
sebastianvettel Do you realize this is not a private conversation?
yourusername actually u can set selected comments private seb 😁
charles_leclerc Wait seriously?!
lewishamilton No, she's just testing if he's old enough to believe her 🙄
yourusername you're sour bc u believed me the first time i tried it love ☺️🫶
sebastianvettel This is exactly why I didn't have Instagram sooner.
charles_lecerc We love you Seb!❤️
yourusername yeah we do love u our new godfather!!!!💖
mercedesamgf1 Congratulations from the whole team!🤩🤍
liked by the author
alexandrasaintmleux awww so happy for both of u!💞
yourusername hope you're prepared to be the fav auntie 🤭💋
alexandrasaintmleux anything for my little nephew or niece hamilton 🫡
scuderiaferrari The next world champion on the way?😍❤️
yourusername pls i hope they'll stay far away from racing 😭
scuderiaferrari Well... then we'll at least get another tifosi 😉
georgerussell68 Wishing all the best mate!
liked by the author
landonorris Wooohooo congrats!!!
landonorris Wait- do y'all realize you'll be parents now? Like real REAL parents of an actual child?!
yourusername yeah lando that's how it usually works when u get pregnant 😊
landonorris Yeah but... wait! The child needs to be McLaren fan!
yourusername your mission to get all hamiltons to be your fan is getting more complicated, isn't it? 😂🫢
landonorris Shhhh Y/N it's a secret mission 🤫
yourusername oh my bad sry
yourusername wait why do i know about it then???
landonorris Ehhh... miscalculation?
yourusername tf lando 😭
lewishamilton I'm starting to think this baby will be our second child and Lando is our first...
landonorris Wow so can I officially say Lewis Hamilton is my daddy now?😀
lewishamilton NO
yourusername lando don't you dare or istg
landonorris Byeee parents!! 🤗
f1 Let's go! 💖👶
francisca.cgomes babyyyyy 🤎🍂
pierregasly Why the leaves?
francisca.cgomes bcs it's an autumn babyyyyy
yourusername love u kika 💕
pierregasly Oh congrats by the way!🫶
yourusername thx pierre 💕
logansargeant RAAAAAHHH 🇺🇸🦅
logansargeant Sorry alex_albon took my phone 😒 I wanted to say congratulations!🤍
alex_albon 😇
yourusername lol
yourusername but thx sm logan, you're such a sweetheart! 🫶
lilymhe I swear it'll be the cutest baby ever
yourusername babe it'll totally will if u say so 💋
kevinmagnussen 🙌
hulkhulkenberg Welcome to the dad's club on the grid Lewis! 😉
liked by the author
oscarpiastri What a happy day, congratulations! 🧡
yourusername what's the orange heart doing here oscahh??? 🤨
oscarpiastri 💖
oscarpiastri Better now?
yourusername thx oscar sm for the congrats!🥰 also you should use my signature heart emoji more often 💖
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yourusername posted on instagram
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tagged: lewishamilton and alexandrasaintmleux
yourusername enjoying the barbie life 💖💐
view all 2,013 comments
lewishamilton Beautiful, gorgeous and my Barbie!
yourusername awww my ken 💞🫶
user1 omg i love them sm
user2 I wanna have what they have
user3 the effect bf Lewis has on me should be studied 😩
user4 Just the fact he usually isn't active on ig and doesn't comment or anything... and she is the only exception😭🤭
user5 gorgeous literally so gorgeous
user6 The baby bump 🥹🥹
user7 and she looks so good with it too 🥹🥹
alexandrasaintmleux such good times hanging out with my fav barbie! 💋💖
yourusername the best times girly!!! 💕
user8 i live for this friendship
user9 Imagine these two next year in Ferrari garage together!😍
user10 literally the only good thing coming out of lewis leaving mercedes
user11 fr fr user10
user12 Are those flowers from Lewis???
roscoelovescoco Yeah's they'res from's dad's 🌻☺️
user13 OH MY GOD ROSCOE HIIII
user12 Can't believe Lewis Hamilton replied to my comment as his dog 😭
user13 lol user12 u really won life xd
user14 this is sooo cuteee 😻
user15 You and Alex look so good together! Hope you'll be friends forever!
kellypiquet where's the bag from? it's so pretty! 😍🤍
yourusername idk lew gave it to me for christmas last year... i'll ask and let u know!! 🤍🫶
kellypiquet 🫶
user16 The queens of the paddock right here 🙌
user17 still can't believe y/n & lewis are going to be parent in a few months
user18 RIGHT?! It's like a fever dream for me 😭
user19 Yeah i was excited for dad Lewis so long that now I can't believe it's finally happening 🤭❤️
user20 the best wag right here
user21 and soon the best mum!
user22 Ur STUNNING 😭💖
user23 Woman 💅
user24 proud to say i never hated on Y/N
user25 YES
user26 always knew she's the queen 👸💗
lewishamilton posted on instagram
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lewishamilton My beautiful Barbie. The love of my life. My partner for good times and bad times. Mother of my child. The only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Y/N Y/L/N. 💖💫
view all 31,274 comments
yourusername can't describe in words how much i love u lew!!! 💖💫
lewishamilton Love you too darling, so much!
user1 I can't 😭
user2 i wanna have what they have
user3 THE BEST COUPLE EVER
user4 if they ever break up love isn't real
user5 I'll tell my children they are the original Barbie & Ken
user6 my parents 🥰
user7 y'all don't understand how much i love them
user8 The best parents ever!!!!
roscoelovescoco Mums looking's gorgeous 🥹☀️
lewishamilton She in fact is.
yourusername my boys making me cry 🥹💓
roscoelovescoco Oh's no's mums don't cry's 🙁
yourusername don't worry baby it's happy tears 💞
user9 now I'm crying too... this is so sweet
user10 The reason they're my favs😍
user11 why is this so precious 😭😭
user12 so prettyyyy
kellypiquet Our Barbie looking like a goddess!💅🏻💝
liked by the author
yourusername thx kelly!!!💕
user13 she's fr glowing 😻
user14 Thought she can't get more beautiful than she was before but pregnancy proved me wrong
user15 MARRY HER
user16 we love bf lewis dedicating whole post to y/n 🤭🤭
voguemagazine 🤩📸
user17 ariana what are u doing here?!??!!
user18 Even Vogue is an Y/N fan and we love it
user19 y'all don't understand how bad i need her to be on the cover of vogue or some other magazine 😩
user20 OMG user19 SHE WOULD SLAY IT TOO HARD
user21 You should marry her now!!! 💍💍
liked by roscoelovescoco
user22 heyyy did someone else see lewis like it and then un-like it?!😧
user21 When the notification of roscoelovescoco liking my comment came up on my phone I nearly dropped it and screamed... like what? Excuse me sir!!! 😃
user23 LOL I love how he goes savage liking comments w his dog's account and then regrets it immediately xd
user24 guuuyyyssss what if it means we'll get proposal soon???☺️
user21 I wish!!!!
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THE END
Author's Note: Thank you for reading it to the end! I'll be very grateful for likes, comments, reblogs and every other sign of support. Also you can let me know if you think baby Hamilton will be a girl or boy 🤭. Have a great weekend! (Btw if someone wants to talk about their predictions for Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, they're welcomed bcs I don't have anyone to talk to about it XD)
Taglist: @namgification @hc-dutch @bloodyymaryyy @nat-lh-44 @cosmoscoffeee @daniellef89x @xoscar03 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @nathalielovesonedirection @raizelchrysanderoctavius @leclerc16s @carpediem241108 @onecojg (let me know if you want to be added or removed)
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crumplstiltskin · 1 month
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i love ur aus! your interpretations of the relationship dynamics in new ways that still feels true to the characters is really cool- take supernatural crazy stuff and making it fit in a more normal dynamic can't be easy.
do you have any opinions on how sukuna or choso get along with wasuke? (and do sukuna + choso both privately think of themselves as The Oldest Brother, or is one of them a middle brother?)
hey!!! thank you for sending this. i take it as a really big compliment ! i get very particular about that kind of thing so i'm glad it reads the way i want it to.
i'll answer this in the context of my aus. depending on the au there are minor differences though! and i hope you don't mind if i yap a little bit under the cut!
the most important part of this question is how wasuke's personality would mesh with them respectively so it's important to first consider what type of person wasuke is and how he would engage each of them. besides his appearances in the manga/anime we can deduce some of his personality through yuuji (how he was raised, his conduct, etc).
wasuke seems to be very even-tempered, family-focused so i think choso would get along the most with wasuke. choso is very gentle at heart and also family-oriented himself so wasuke would think highly of choso who is very outrightly passionate about it. wasuke himself doesn't seem to be overly affectionate physically or verbally but we know that he cared deeply for yuuji. choso being sort of the opposite way complements him well, at least in the context of caring for yuuji and i see him appreciating choso for making up for perhaps what he would consider his own limitations. wasuke would probably find it embarrassing but as a grandfather who loves his family he would be grateful for having choso in their lives.
sukuna and wasuke would clash more but not to the point where there is any real tension. i think they would bicker a lot, but only because they both seem like the stubborn type....probably share other personality traits too...idk..i feel it in my bones (and tbh in normal peoples au sukuna had a weird edgy phase where wasuke found him cringe af and he never let sukuna live it down 😭). in unckuna au and 12 years au they would both be very involved in rearing yuuji so they'd have long discussions about things after yuuji went to bed or something so this gives them a purpose to get along. not saying that sukuna wouldn't get along with him but to be completely honest sukuna is not the type of character to really care about much beyond himself. so they're like coworkers........but the work is yuuji. sukuna would respect wasuke out of principle (principle being he is an elder, he is his father/grandfather) and wasuke expects that from him, the end.
but knowing people like wasuke, neither of them are getting praise from him no matter how well they do or how much they impress him lol. he will tell them off immediately if they do anything wrong, and is not the type to say pretty words. if he wants to be nice to them he'll probably show it through action though; he'll go out of his way to buy their favourite fruit ("i got x today at the market, peel/cut them up for us"), drink tea and have snacks in the same room instead of sitting on the porch alone, things like that.
about the birth order...i think that's complicated. in normal peoples au i usually consider choso the oldest by a couple years (kaori's child from a past marriage or an ex). if it's the cousin choso au (where kenjaku is kaori's brother) he's around the same age as sukuna give or take. in sorceror au where he is a death painting choso is the oldest by far but sukuna won't acknowledge him as family for reasons (usually infantile and superficial) 😭😭😭.
in most aus sukuna kind of looks down on him for not looking like them and/or for not being human, and in most aus choso is not interested in sukuna beyond asking him to stop being mean to yuuji. almost writing off sukuna as yuuji's brother at all. almost... if it's any uncle au it's harder for him to ignore that i think...choso respects his elders...unfortunately...(he secretly thinks ill of sukuna in his head).
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urf1lterr · 1 year
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afterglow | pedro pascal [2/3]
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"tell me that you're still mine, tell me that we'll be just fine, even when i lose my mind"
previous chapter: [1]
summary: being nominated for an oscar was a dream come true, until you had to spend the rest of the night near your deceitful ex who still loved you.
pairing: actor!pedro x actress!reader
genre: acting world!au, enemies/exes to lovers ?? au | angst, fluff, fighting, mature
word count: 15k
status: 2/3 complete
author's note: SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT LOVES. even though its gonna be three parts lol i still want you to want more. i've been confused on my writing because tbh- i feel like i could do better and keep rushing with these storylines and end up regretting them AFTER they are posted lol. not edited- it really isn't.
"Let's cut the chit-chat and get some real answers, why did y'all breakup?"
"Andrew!"
"Three days have passed, she's fine now," he defended, shrugging as Florence shot him an irritated look by his prying behavior.
It has indeed been a few days since the terrible night that consisted in you meeting your favorite artist, crying beside her, running awkwardly away right after, having a screaming match with your ex, and then passing out in the car.
So, you couldn't deny it wasn't a memorable night.
The past three days could've been better to say the least if your management team stopped spamming you with text messages concerning the fight, maybe even ignoring the loads of pictures of your crying face.
Oh, the pictures. Not a fun sight to see.
Luckily for you, the pictures were only ones inside the party near Andrew- not Pedro. Unfortunately, though, your picture was turned into a 'crying in the club' meme.
You couldn't exactly be mad over it, you loved memes.
Thank the Lords the paparazzi were clueless and never ended up catching your argument with Pedro or you wouldn't know how to cover it up.
You could never get away with the typical 'friends fighting' after he shouted how much he loved you.
And bless the celebrities near you for minding their business.
To clear up your meltdown, you took it upon yourself to send out a quick tweet the next morning with a "i'm sorry i'm an emotional drunk. one second we're talking about 500 days of summer and then...well you already know how THAT ends."
In that moment you couldn't care less if people believed you or not, this was going to pass fast anyway.
Now here you were, sitting in front of your kitchen bar as Andrew and Florence decided to pay you a visit because they missed you- or so they say.
Realistically, they wanted to see if you were still a hot mess.
Which you weren't, obviously.
Shailene would have tagged along, but she was busy doing grown up things, such as working on her latest project Andrew claimed which was a slight bummer. She was the mediator, now who else was going to stop the arguments calmly between your two friends.
Florence disagreed, shaking her head. "You can't just ask her that, it's impolite."
Sighing, Andrew sent you an apologetic glance. "Okay, I am sorry." Not taking his eyes off you, you could feel his curiosity and eagerness from the other side of the kitchen. "But we're all thinking it."
Judging by how unresponsive Florence became, you could tell she wasn't going to fight him on this. And well, she was secretly on his side because your fight with Pedro was seriously excessive.
She just wanted to know what he could've done to make you so angry, it didn't make sense to her if he did cheat. He didn't seem like the type, but some people do the most surprising things- so she couldn't really tell.
"Do you want the last reason or all of them?"
Widening his eyes, Andrew shares a glance with Florence for a swift second before finding your eyes. "Last reason?"
"The last fight we had that led us to finalize our breakup."
"Finalize," he giggled, leaning on the marble counter. "This isn't a divorce process."
"For a person who is so concerned about my relationship crisis, you seem to be catch on to the most irrelevant stuff."
"So you admit you still want to be with him," Andrew declared, giving a smug look as you tried to process his words. "If you're still stressing over him, it means you don't want to let him go."
"I never said I was stressing over hi-"
"Did she or did she not just claim she was undergoing a crisis-," Andrew interrupted, slightly raising his voice. "-a relationship crisis, to be exact."
Florence sheepishly looked your way, capturing your stern expression before slowly nodding.
Your male friend clapped his hands loudly before bursting out a wider grin, happy someone had his back. "There we have it, if he's on your mind that much to turn into a crisis- you still love him!"
Furrowing your brows, you didn't know how to respond. It was true, you had many moments where Pedro agitated you even when you haven't been near him for quite some time.
But isn't being wound up over an ex part of healing?
Truth be told, you knew your feelings for Pedro hadn't completely disappeared, but love? You weren't even sure love existed by your past experiences.
"I do not love him," you hiss, vigorously snatching the water bottle on the counter and aggressively opening it. "How can love be real? It's baffling."
"Questioning the real question with a question," he sneers, making Florence and you become confused as ever. "You're so in love him."
Florence cuts in, squinting her face in puzzlement. "Wait- what's the real question she's supposedly questioning with a question?"
"Love!" he cheers happily before placing his hand on his palm, dreamingly gazing at you. "You have your doubts on what love may be, but without knowing it you're having them because you're questioning your love to Pedro since you're too scared to admit you still love him."
"I don't get it."
Rolling your eyes, you swiftly turn away and head towards your living room to lay on your couch. You were not in the mood to have someone else tell you what your feelings were when they weren't you. "I'm done with this conversation."
Hearing a low slapping noise, following an irritated hiss, you could make out Florence's displeased voice. "See what you did! Now she's not going to tell us."
"So much for moral support, you really are nosy," Andrew fought back, whispering loudly.
A minute or two went by since you couldn't make out what they were saying before rushed footsteps soon made their way near you as your friends awkwardly smiled, hoping they didn't upset you too much.
Because they really wanted to know the drama.
Pushing him roughly from behind, Florence sent you an innocent smile as Andrew landed near your side of the couch, trying his best to hold his composure and not turn back around and start another fight.
Placing a light hand on your shoulder, you blankly glance at it before meeting his attention. "We just wanted you to know we totally understand if you aren't comfortable...expressing your past-"
"Get your hand off me and let's get this over with so you two can leave already."
Florence quickly sat right beside Andrew, both not offended with your statement because they were fully aware of how annoying the were becoming.
Before you could say anything, Florence quickly spoke aloud. "Start from the beginning!" Andrew slowly looking back to her, he sent her a confused look. "So we aren't lost, of course."
Laughing lightly, you nod before adjusting yourself on your seat. It was going to be hard to remember all the details clearly because there really wasn't an exact time issues occurred, it kind of just naturally appeared here and there.
Now that you think of it, majority of the tiny disputes during the earlier days of your relationship were probably on the same level as when you two were splitting, but maybe the dense ones created towards the end really made it hard to continue.
"If I'm being totally honest, we never really had problems when we first started dating. He was really great," you begin, clutching onto a pillow you found right beside you. "And he would always make sure to watch me make it inside my house before leaving, that was when I knew he wasn't some fling."
Andrew smirked, nodding proudly. "Classic move."
Smiling at the thought, you focused your mind to uncover the ugly truths that slowly tore you two apart.
"But then one day, I wanna say a few weeks after our second anniversary, we just started...fighting?"
Tilting your head, you look down as sad memories began pouring through your mind completely. "It wasn't our usual small fights over who left the bathroom floor wet or dropping his ipad in the pool-"
"-you dropped his ipad in the pool?" Florence coughed, bewildered by your scandalous actions.
"He wanted to know if it was waterproof," you defended.
"Was it?"
"No," you nervously reply, avoiding their eyes. "But he had it backed up and I bought him a new one!"
"That was kind of a bitchy move," Andrew muttered, catching your pissed gaze. "But at least you made up for it!"
Maybe it wasn't that great of an idea to just throw it in, but he did say he was really curious and wanted to dump it under the sink.
"Anyway," you start back up again, making Andrew lowly sigh in relief. "Our fights were never that serious, or at least not until he started filming for that new tv series he joined."
Florence spoke up, lightly questioning "The Last of Us?"
Nodding, you shrugged. "I guess it's normal to say the time apart did cause a rift in our relationship, but it wasn't too bad. He always made sure to call and facetime at least once every two days."
"But one day when he was visiting during his week break he just...snapped?" you frowned, not even wanting to visualize the tiny argument.
You had to for your own good.
"He had been home for maybe two days before he suddenly became moody. Like- his attitude was insane, I have never seen him like this ever," you sigh, closing your eyes for a second before continuing. "He didn't want to go out to eat, didn't want me to make him food, and when I offered to have it delivered he slammed the bedroom door on my face and claimed he was going to bed."
"Woah, why would he do that?" Andrew asked, seriousness splattered all over his face.
You wish you knew.
"Not sure, I just thought maybe work was stressing him out so I wanted him to have his alone time to clear his mind."
"Did that work?"
Sitting up straighter, you send a sorrowful smile. "For the rest of that week-yes. He ended up apologizing to me when I tried going to bed and said his manager was being tough on him for some scenes they had done."
You remember the moment you walked inside your bedroom, disappointed that he was awake. Not wanting to cause more tension, you planned to sneak under the covers and deal with the incident in the morning.
But his arms slowly wrapping over your waist as you had your back facing him said otherwise. Pulling you closer, you remember the soft "please don't be mad at me" he whispered near your ear, making sure you felt his tight embrace as if to prove you were his.
That night ended with you turning your body over to face him, accepting his open arms as a way to answer his pleading way of forgiveness.
Like always.
"Once he went back to work, we still talked- but I could tell he wasn't fully engaged like he always was," you sulk, remembering the first time you caught him not listening. "It got to the point where I purposely stopped answering his calls."
Your friends quickly send you a shocked look, you continue before they could intercept. "I couldn't handle his lack of attention, I would rather have him panic from the rejected calls than just tell him why I was upset."
It wasn't your best move, but you were frustrated. It wasn't fair that he was the one who got to treat you poorly and you had to accept it.
You admit, maybe if you communicated with him about these issues you could've prevented many future arguments and even saved your relationship.
But you were human and sometimes humans act human.
"Then what happened?" Andrew asked, a curious appearance plastering his face. "You continued ignoring him?"
Laughing lightly, you shake your head. It was the plan, but plans don't always work out. "Actually, he secretly took a flight back home one weekend and confronted me."
Gasping, Florence jumped up in her seat and moved her leg under her. "No way!"
"Yes, way," you sheepishly reply, embarrassed at the memory. You can still picture the way Pedro stood in your shared bedroom as you stepped out of your bathroom, jumping at the sight of him.
Standing with his arms crossed with his bags thrown by the door, he was determined to figure out what was going on with you.
"I wouldn't say we engaged in a heated argument, but it was surprisingly really emotional."
Andrew leaned his body closer, too interested not to let his questions slide. "Were you guys never emotional? I feel like every couple experiences those moments together- it's what makes them stronger."
It should've made you two stronger, but instead it made you weaker without you realizing it.
"Pedro and I had our minor instances, but it never involved problems we were facing," you began, sighing slightly. "All I remember was finding him standing near the bed with no emotion- none. I couldn't read what he may have been feeling, he just looked so....empty?"
"Empty? That's not good." Florence commented.
"That could mean a lot of things, not necessarily anger," Andrew added, trying to make you feel better.
"I knew deep down he was mad, as he should be- I was the one ignoring him," you defended him, taking full responsibility over your childish actions. "But I could tell he was more hurt that mad."
"What did he say?"
"What's going on?" Pedro questioned, his eyes not daring to leave yours as you freeze- stopping your attempts at brushing your wet hair, extremely confused as to why he was here.
He wasn't supposed to visit for another month, or so he said.
"Pedro?" you squint your eyes, still not sure if he was really in front of you or maybe you were daydreaming. You were high off many shots of espressos, it's finally hitting you. "Is that you?"
Still staring plainly at you, he stays right where he was. In any other circumstances he would have run up and wrapped his arms tightly around you, but this night was different.
He looked disorientated, out of place. His eyes lacked intensity as his body followed, looking as stiff as ever. Even his breathing matched his energy, calm yet unsettled.
You left him confused and he did not like that. "Answer my question."
Batting your eyes faster, you realize what was going on and where he was. Gasping, you do the exact opposite of what he wanted. "What the hell are you doing here?! You're not supposed to be home- you could get fired a-"
Taking a hold of your arms, he stills you and ignores your rambling. "What-" he begins, moving his right hand to the back of your neck and forcing you to focus on him only. "-is going on?"
Freezing, you try to back your head away from his grip but he tightens his grasp, making sure to not be too rough so he doesn't actually hurt you- he would never do such a thing. "I don't understand-"
"You haven't been answering my calls, what else is there to understand?" He sternly recalls, not wanting you to bullshit your way out of this. "So you either have been ignoring me on purpose to be petty or this is your way of hinting you don't want to be with me anymore."
Shaking your head frantically, you try to talk but he cuts you off again. "-And don't say you've been busy. You and I both know I would have figured out if you had added projects to your schedule- your mom tells me everything."
If this were a good time, you would have laughed at his side comment regarding your mother, but it wasn't.
"Not everything," you spit out, causing him to squint his face and release his hands from you.
"Are you trying to tell me something? Are you not happy? Is that why you've been avoiding my calls?" he questions, tilting his head in bewilderment, not liking your attitude at the moment. "Because if you really don't want to be with me you should've told me sooner than leaving me feeling fucking clueless while I'm out in another country working."
"I'm not saying I don't want to be with you-"
"But you aren't denying it," he intercepts, firmly nodding in realization. "I get it, I'm just glad I know now and won't have to wait another month to finally understand how you're feeling."
Walking away from you, Pedro walks towards his bags and reaches down for them. You scoff at his disturbed demeanor. There is no way you should be the only one at fault here- you both made mistakes.
Pushing his backpack off his hands, he watches at it lands on the floor before instantly finding your eyes. "Are you seri-"
"Just because I'm avoiding your calls doesn't mean I want to end our relationship" you shriek, glaring at him as his eyes soften at your hidden truth.
Your angered expression and stiff posture hits him like a brick, there was something really bothering you and he was too oblivious to acknowledged it until you began overlooking him.
Taking a deep breath, you watch as your boyfriend intently examines you as if he's trying to read your impractical mind. Sometimes, he wished you would speak up when something was bothering you, in fact- he has told you many times in the past to do so.
But the idea of patiently waiting until it erupts is what he's sure you've normalized in fear of desertion. Or maybe refusal of reality- the two of you weren't perfect.
"What's going on?" He calmly questions again, dropping any signs of fury and replaces it with worry and concern. Reaching out to you, he softly clasps your shoulder before moving in a few inches. "Am I making you upset?"
Slapping his hand away, you cross your arms over your chest in agitation. "I'm mad at you!"
Blinking a few times, he couldn't believe how fast you spilled and chaotic your energy was. He's never seen you act this hysterical and to be honest, he was really debating asking if you were on your period or not. "Why?"
Pursing your lips together, you release your arms and let them fall on your sides. "You know why!" With that, you turn your back to him and make your way back to your bathroom to hide.
At this point, you felt it was acceptable to act unbearable- he left you feeling insignificant and you weren't going to hold it in anymore.
If you stayed there any longer you knew you would break down into tears. Showing your vulnerable side this early into an argument was too easy, you have to show how bold you were in order to get your point across.
Or anger across.
But it was really hard to hold a grudge, he was just so- loving, despite your recent incidents. Deep down, he did care about you and wanted to validate your feelings- or as best he could.
Grabbing anything you could find near your sink, you begin opening some moisturizer and splatter it around your hands to keep you busy. You could feel Pedro come inside your shared bathroom but you don't dare to peep his way.
"Honey- please," you heard him release a soft sigh as he stood behind you, watching through your huge mirror in front of the two of you. He could make out your distressed appearance and you were absolutely not fine. "You can't just steer clear from this, we need to talk about it-"
Slamming the poor jar on the counter, you swiftly twist your body to his front and feel all the rage taking control. "But did you want to talk all those times I called you?! No, you didn't give one fuck about me or Leia!"
"You named your dog after Princess Leia? That's smart," Andrew butted in, grinning. "You know, since he's in the Mandalorian and Star W-"
"We get it."
Maybe it was wrong to bring your beloved corgi into such a serious topic, but she was abandoned by her father too.
"I did talk to you! I made sure to call you whenever I had time an-"
"I'm glad I made it into your schedule- but maybe if you considered adding some compassion and empathy it wouldn't feel like I'm just another business call you hate!"
Panting, you send daggers his way as his eyes widen. Did you just say he doesn't care about your calls? Impossible- he loves your calls, it makes his days better.
"You aren't a business call and you know that. Honey, please understand- hey!" He cuts himself off once you finally had enough of his poor attempts to defend himself, trying to flee but he ends up being quicker on his feet and yanking you back to his arms.
But once you were wrapped around him, even though it was for pure captivity and not warmth, you instantly broke down. He didn't know you were in tears until he felt his shirt become damp and still then he just thought you were trying to spit on him out of anger.
Hearing your tiny whimpers, he immediately glanced down and lifted you up to catch a clear view of your face, despite your protests and blockings. "Baby, I-I didn't mean to make you cry-"
"You don't mean a lot of things," you spit out, swatting his hands that dared to reach your face. You weren't in the mood to make up, all you wanted to do was sleep your troubles away, especially with the draining work day you had.
Continuing your pulling, Pedro began becoming annoyed with your strong protests against his affection. Isn't this what you wanted? "Why won't you let me hold you? I want to console you, can't I be your boyfriend for the night and tomorrow you can continue hating me?"
"You see my tears and now you want to hold me but admit we'll still be out of place tomorrow? That's acceptable for you?" you laugh ruthlessly, allowing space to be brought in front of you. "Do you hear yourself?"
Groaning, he rubs his face hard before speaking his mind, trying not to sound too furious and scare you. "What do you want me to do? I admit, I did lack some energy-"
"Some?" you snort to yourself, your face still wet.
"Don't interrupt me," he declared, shaking his head at how rude you were becoming. "I wasn't the best partner, okay?! There, I admit it, but you don't understand how it is working constantly and not being able to see family and friends and-"
"It's like you don't even know me at all," you ignorantly chuckle over his nonsense and walk towards your bed.
What a way to dismiss your feelings.
"That's not what I meant," he sighs, following after and stopping you from opening your covers and hiding underneath them. "It's just hard being away from everyone I love, I'm in a different country. It's not like I can drive an hour away and suddenly see them!"
"I can't do that either!"
"Can't you just please, please, please- consider that my mindset is not good right now," he declares, his eyes filling with sadness as his arms slowly find your waist. Taking a deep breath, you watch as he looked up at the ceiling before biting his lip. "I know I am not being the best partner right now- or for the past few months, but I am trying."
As soon as uncertainty flushed your face, his hands tightened as his expression deepened into an emotion you never seen him explore before- dejection.
"I can't promise you I'm suddenly going to wake up and give you 110% every interaction we have," he began, his voice lowering as he tried to keep his emotions in check. "But I confess- I am being a little shit and I am willing to work on that. Just please- please don't push me away. Try to understand my situation."
He wasn't wrong, his life switched around once he accepted the role of Joel Miller and you should've known from the start he would face some difficulties. Maybe you were being too self-centered and invalidated his feeling too, not just him.
Sometimes he wasn't good with words when expressing himself and made you feel as if you weren't as popular as him, but you knew it was never his intention to hurt you like that. He had a heart and loved to use it.
Fighting over work should never be a reason to be miserable especially when it's how you both get your income.
"I-I understand," you lightly speak up, watching as his eyes light up by the sound of your now calm voice filling his ears. "I just want you to know that it didn't make me feel good-"
"Of course it wouldn't make you feel good, I was being horrible," Pedro intercepted, pulling you into a tight hug and landing his face in your neck. "And if I wasn't thousands of miles away I would totally spoil you with kisses and chocolates as my sorry."
"Chocolates are still in favor," you joke and feel him softly swat your bottom in disapproval.
Pulling away, he leans his face closer to yours and plants a sweet kiss upon your lips before backing up an inch and whispering softly, "I love you, you know that right?"
Smiling, you slowly nod and surprise him with a deeper kiss before answering him back with a familiar, "I love you, too."
"You better," he smirks, pulling his body on top of yours, hearing your light squeaks once your back hit the mattress and his lips snuck their way into the crook of your neck.
"Did you end up getting chocolates?" Andrew immediately questioned once you finished your long recollection of memories.
"That's not important," Florence rolled her eyes.
"I mean he did promise her it."
Chuckling at his curiosity, it amused you how focused he was about some candy. "Yes, he did- for like a month and then I got over them."
"Understandable," Andrew replied, looking down at his lap.
Florence jumped over him, making herself sit closer to you as he winced at her sudden movements. "Then what happened?! I mean, there had to be more right?"
"My god woman, I hope you're not working for TMZ," Andrew joked.
She shushed him before leaning closer to you, signaling you to continue on with your memories. "After that fight, things became pretty normal again. We would call each other with far more energy than before and he would even fly back home often to keep our communication strong."
"And how long did that last?"
Frowning, you took a small breath. "Like three months- then we started fighting more."
"Over?"
Rubbing your face, you groaned. "He went back to lacking energy! But that's not even the worst part."
"Please don't tell me he cheated," Andrew begged, covering his eyes with his hands while pulling a sorrow look. "I would never be able to look at him the same."
"I don't know if he did cheat- but I did find out two months before we ended things that he stayed the night at his exes."
Loudly gasping, the company you had began freaking out with their jaws dropping- literally. Florence angrily furrowed her brows, "you've got to be kidding? How is that allowed in a relationship?- It's not!"
Crossing your legs, you shrug as a way to answer her. You really did wonder what was going through his head when he did that. Sadly, you couldn't believe a word he said after you found out what he did.
Maybe that's why you were fine with ending things- because the trust was slowly disappearing.
"Not to mention he would always be with her and ditch plans with me," you form a tight smile, trying not to make things awkward but it was too late.
Who could possible hear this and not feel embarrassed for you? Classic move on his part to follow the 'being friends with my ex is okay' stereotype, but it only left you feeling unwanted and flawed.
Were you not good enough to be in his arms all those times he ditched you for her? And why couldn't he tell you what was really going on- unless he was truly hiding something unspeakable.
"Spill the beans."
Hearing a door slam, you jump up in a daze. You could feel sleep still linger on your body as you crank your neck to the side, capturing the bright '12:47 pm' located on top of your nightstand.
Slowly yanking your body up, you don't stretch as you hurry out of your room to the living room in search of the mysterious person who was either your missing boyfriend or an intruder.
Catching sight of his bright yellow t-shirt as he opens the refrigerator, you could feel your body boil up. "Where have you been? You snuck out last night without even telling me- do you even understand how worried I was?!"
Watching as he gradually turns his head to face yours, Pedro closes the fridge before leaning against the kitchen counter- completely relaxed despite your current state.
"I was out with friends," he declared, grinning to try and take pressure off from you- it didn't work. "I'm sorry, I will tell you next time. I didn't mean to worry you, my love."
Placing your hands on your hips, it pains you that you secretly don't believe a word he's saying. Normally, if this were the case, he would text you if you were sleeping or call you in the morning to inform you with what he'd done.
He did neither one.
Maybe you should test him? Ask him questions and see if he'll freeze up?
"And who were you with?"
He smiled, grabbing a cup from the pantry while easily answering, "Diego and Oscar- we had a couple of drinks and Oscar thought it would be best I stay the night."
Nodding swiftly, you examine him to see if there were any signs of him lying- there weren't. Fuck, you forgot he was an actor. It's literally his job to control his emotions! "And why didn't you call or at least send a simple text?"
After hearing your words, Pedro sends you a small smile before gently placing his cup down. Walking up to you, he opens his arms. "Baby, is that why you're so upset? Because I didn't call?"
Before you could answer, he engulfs you in his arms before swaying you both around. Feeling vibrations as he let out light giggles, you instantly dropped any suspicions you may have had because he had to tell the truth- he would never lie to you.
It's surreal how easily you could throw any convictions out the window when he touched you. It's like he jogged your memory.
"Well, why didn't you at least text?"
Removing his head from your neck, he squeezes you waist and sends you an amused smirk . "Because I was insanely drunk and if I would've used my phone it probably would have resulted in me leaving you hundreds of drunk voicemails confessing my love for you."
"And that's bad?"
He chuckled, shaking his head before pinching your side. "No, but it sure as hell is annoying."
Standing up straighter, you cautiously nod at his answer and watch as he lovingly smiled down at you. "Okay, I believe you."
"Did you really believe him?" Andrew asked.
"I call bullshit," Florence confidently declares, strong on her view that Pedro was not an honest person.
"Let me finish the story!"
Loud footsteps could be heard near your hallway as you stood behind the oven, trying your best to not burn these damn chocolate chip cookies.
Such a basic recipe yet so complex- it was truly aggravating.
"Y/n? Where are you?!" you heard you assistant squeal from a distance.
Trying to properly put your mitten on, you murmur a small "kitchen" before preparing yourself to open the oven. The amount of times you burned yourself thinking it was cool enough not to wear protection-
Point is- always wear protection.
Opening the oven door, you pull the tray of freshly baked cookies towards you as the footsteps became clearly audible. Right when the cookies were in your grip and being lifted, you heard your assistant yelp-
"Pedro was caught leaving his ex's house two days ago."
Throwing yourself up into a standing position, you forget about the tray of cookies until you feel the burning sensation upon your left arm. You accidentally pulled the tray too close to you. "Ow!"
Instantly panicking, your assistant rushes to your side in support and grabs a towel to fill with ice. Pressing downwards on the wound, you wince at the pressure that was building.
"What the hell are you talking about?" you still question, extremely curious to uncover what this situation was.
His ex? That's absurd, he hasn't dated anyone in years when you first met. It's definitely not like he was in contact with them when you made it official, he was always firm when it came with communicating with past relationships.
That was a big no-no, especially when one of your ex's tried reaching out after your last movie dropped. Pedro made it very clear how unhappy he was when he made an appearance at your premiere- your boyfriend not daring to leave your side and even blocking your view whenever your ex had the chance to gawk you up close.
At the time, people thought Pedro only attended because he was close with the director and has always been friendly with other actors. Little did they know he was being extra friendly with you behind the curtains.
"Someone snapped photos of him outside of her door! It looks like he just woke up, too." Grabbing the phone from her hands, you pull it closer to your face and watch what the screen uncovered.
There he was, your boyfriend of two-years smiling brightly as he steps outside her door in the clothes he wore the night before. The same ones he manipulated you with about being with Diego and Oscar that night.
Not just that, but peering on the side of the door was indeed his tall, beautiful ex who definitely aged like fine wine. Hell, she was gorgeous and everybody knew that.
And the fact that they broke up due to their long distance, at the time, did not help this situation. Now that they lived a few cities away, what now? Were you just a doormat he could walk all over and eventually throw away whenever he wanted something new?
Placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, you refuse to take your eyes off the screen as your assistant begins speaking. "Did you know he slept over?" Glancing up, she takes your downcast face as an answer and swiftly pulls you in a tight hug. "Oh no, I'm so sorry."
You were sorry for yourself, too. How could he lie right to your face so easily knowing he was doing it- intentionally. And the most fucked up part was he probably knew you would believe him- just like all the other times you did.
"I saw that picture!" Andrew exclaimed, bewildered at his recollection. "I thought the paparazzi caught him lacking after a hook-up- damn, I wish I would've known you were together sooner."
"Same, I would have unfollowed him," Florence added. "And nobody would've known it was because of you- since you two never been public."
Forcing a smile, you give her a tiny nudge on the arm. "Gee, thanks for being so considerate."
"Continue!"
"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before your flee.
Let's just say, things were pretty...eventful once you discovered his scheme.
For starters, after bawling your eyes out on your poor assistant's shoulder, she made her departure in order to clean up the spare bedroom she offered you to take if you weren't comfortable staying at your own place.
You accepted.
Once she was out the door, you fled to your bedroom and grabbed any suitcase close by and began stuffing it to the brim, not caring how disorganized it was professing as you reached for more clothes.
You were almost done packing your second bag full of makeup and bathroom necessities when you heard your front door open. Jumping up, you felt your eyes widen once you heard your name being chanted on by your boyfriend. "Y/n?!"
"Fuck," you whispered to yourself, drastically glancing around your now messy bathroom to make changes to your plan- only take things you really need.
Seconds pass and you find yourself zipping your bag and rushing out the door, that was until your body roughly collided with another- causing you to drop your belongings and land on the floor. Groaning, you hesitantly rise, immediately finding your boyfriend's body nearing yours as he pleads to help you off the ground.
"Baby, I'm sorry! I didn't see you coming out," he apologizes, using his fingertips to clasp your forearms to level you. "Look, I need to tell y-"
"Get off of me," you grit, forcibly slapping his palms off you, causing him to cease and stare stunned. He has never seen you once be this aggressive. Sure, you would reject his embrace whenever you two fought here and there, but slap? Not ever.
Brushing roughly past him, you gripped your larger suitcase by its handles and made a beam to the closest exit. You couldn't be around him, not when thoughts of him being unfaithful constantly drowned your head.
A strong tug of your makeup bag made you halt your movements, not by choice, as Pedro made sure to tighten his grip to prevent you from leaving. Glancing down at his now white, clenched hands, you glare. "Let go."
Shaking his head, he stared you down- irritated that you would just pack up and leave so quickly without even hearing his side of the story. Yes, he should have told you what really happened that night- but he knew how you'd react.
It was better to keep it sealed until he was ready to unveil- or so he thought.
"You let go," he hissed, raising one of his hands and smacking yours with it. You hate how much stronger he still was while only using one hand while you had two- fuck his strength and your poor muscles.
Groaning, you dig your feet onto the ground harder as you continue your tug-a-war charade with your selfish boyfriend who didn't seem to believe space was an understandable coping mechanism after he shattered your small heart.
"Fine," you yelp, shoulders falling slightly as he eases his grip- still holding on though. "We both let go on 3."
Tilting his head, he suddenly grew suspicious by your random middle ground. He knew you well enough to know you don't give up that easily, especially when he's fully sure, by your bolting efforts, you saw the picture. "How do I know you won't just run off after?"
"You're faster and stronger than me, you'll catch me eventually."
Internally agreeing, he knew you had a point. Even if you did escape, your little legs weren't going to get you far- he knows from all the times he tackled you down after you countlessly would steal his food.
"1," you begin, eyeing him to see if he would follow.
"2," he stared at you back, cautiously watching your every step.
Taking a deep breath, you count again. "3!" With that, you release your grip from your bag and watch as he still clutches on to the strap. "What the hell- we agreed on 3 we'd both let go!"
Nervously chuckling, he placed the bag on the ground and sheepishly smiled at you. He was glad to see you finally calming down. "Sorry, I didn't think you would actually do it."
Sending him an annoyed glance, he scratches the back of his neck for assuming you wouldn't follow your word. "Trust me, I always tell the truth."
Wincing at your cold tone, he frowns by your hard demeanor. "About that- I was going to tell you-"
Softly placing a hand over your head, you release a sound of discomfort and miss the way his eyes wander in curiosity.
"Can we talk about this after I take my supplements? I am not feeling too good," you cut him off, slowly touching your forehead as you watch his concern grow. "I forgot to take them this morning."
"You know you get bad migraines when you don't take them," he declared, sighing as he raised his hand and began softly rubbing your temple in ease.
He believed you were being serene because you weren't livid and allowed him to stop you from leaving- how wrong he was.
"I know but I had a crammed morning-"
"This is why we need to hire someone to walk Leia, we don't have enough time majority of the week!" he exhales, making you stare at the floor for the point taken. But there was no way you'd hire someone to walk your dog, that's ridiculous and a waste of money. "We'll talk after, let me grab them- stay here."
Sadly nodding, you allow him to flee towards your bathroom in search for your medicine. Peering you head a few inches to the side, you wait till the coast is clear before slowly, but firmly, grabbing your once lost bag and dashing out of your bedroom.
"I almost forgot about Leia," you muttered to yourself, instantly feeling bad at the thought of how quick you were to forget your baby. How terrible of a mother were you.
And what even was more mind blowing was how Pedro didn't catch your innocent acting. Truthfully, he must be trying to be extra helpful so you would believe him. Too late.
Finding your white corgi near the kitchen, you whistle lowly for her to follow as you peddled your way to your garage. "C'mon doggie, if daddy notices our escape plan he won't let us leave that easil-"
"Y/n?!"
Jaw dropping, you shoot a glance of panic to your dog, who only blankly stares back, before rushing to your parked car. "Just like Batman and Robin- now jump in," you hushed, opening the back seat so you could not only throw your bags back there- but also your tiny-legged corgi who struggles at first, but eventually makes it in.
Once you jumped into your seat and turned on the car, you catch a breathless Pedro rushing out through the door to your side. "Fuck."
"You tricked me!"
"You slept with another woman, asshole!" you yell back, glaring as he rolled his eyes- outraged by how unreasonable you were becoming. All he wanted to do was sit you down and have a normal conversation about this, but instead you kept running away.
Once again, he thinks you need to work on your communication skills.
"You used your failing health to your advantage- how sick are you?" he yelped, offended.
"They were gummy supplements!"
Touching your car door, he sternly peers at you as you quickly lock your doors in case he tried opening it. "I did not sleep with another woman," he started, inhaling strongly before releasing it. "Why would I do that when I am in a committed relationship? Huh? Do you think I am capable of cheating?"
Shrugging innocently, you pull a sarcastic face. "Not sure, I do know you're capable of lying- maybe infidelity is the cherry on top?"
Mouth gapping, he sends you a look of hurt and for a second you feel terrible by your choice of words. In your heart, you wanted to take it back- but your head thought otherwise.
"I would never be unfaithful to you- that's not who I am," he firmly states, feeling like absolute shit that you would even accuse him of being with another woman when you were all he thought about every single second of the day.
Dryly chuckling, you nod along to his words. He feels his heart ache, as if hundreds of knives jabbed through the delicate muscle by your painful mien. Did you really think that lowly of him?
"That's who you are to me now."
Once those words flew out of your mouth and he was able to process it clearly, he paused. Whole body turning stiff and cold, he scolded you profoundly before fiercefully charging towards your car door and pounding for entrance.
It was like a nerve was touched and he was not willing to be forgiving anymore. You struck him hard and he knew you meant it out of pure anger- not genuinely, but his awareness soon became replaced with treachery and he so badly wanted you to pay for your foul words.
"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before fleeing.
Mentally checking off your items before departure, you inhale sharply before lowering down your car's mirror and pressing your garage remote- allowing the door to gradually rise and Pedro to panic.
Cursing in his head, he couldn't let you drive away or else he might never see you for days and he couldn't bear the thought of you moping around in agony without at least hearing from him- the man in the picture- what actually happened that night.
Pressing on the lever and angling down to reverse, you nervously press on the gas and allow your car to drift back as your poor dog watched through the backseat his dad embarrassingly urging you to not go.
You prayed the neighbors couldn't hear a thing, if the cops came you're sure you would never go out in public for at least six months.
Realizing that it was now or never, you see from the corner of your eye a figure running towards the back of your car before a loud thump was heard.
Shakily, pressing on the brakes and putting your car on park, you jump out in horror by the sight of legs near your back tires.
You hit him.
"Shit!" you gasped, involuntarily sprinting- as if your body just knew how to react- and dropping down to your boyfriend's lifeless body-
"You ran him over?!" Andrew and Florence shrieked, interrupting your storytelling, causing you to glare and shush them.
"Shut the fuck up- it's getting to the interesting part!"
Hugging his body tightly, you could feel your face began to fall down and your body slowly begin to tremble. In a matter of seconds, you just knew your garage wasn't going to be a pretty sight to see.
Hitching your breath, you run your hands to your boyfriend's chest and shake him softly in hopes he would open his eyes- he didn't. With tears flushing down your face, you sniff as you grip onto him harder. "Please w-wake up," you begin, trying your best to keep your touch on him but you were a jittering mess. Not being able to stay still, you press your ear over his chest to see his he still had a pulse.
Sighing in relief, he did.
Squeezing his face, you frown as his expressionless face stills. Realizing he might have passed out over a concussion, your lips begin to tremble as you finally breakdown in tears and cradle him.
Leaning over from his side, you bend your body and embrace his head into your neck. "I am such a-a fucking idiot," you squeak, your eyes shutting as you don't have the power to keep them open. "I-I love you- I should've just stayed and t-talked-!"
Cutting yourself off, you ironically feel like the lifeless one despite your literal unconscious boyfriend being in your arms at the moment. Bitch, you really had the nerve. Swiftly kissing his cheek, you plunge yourself into his neck and cushion him with your body- being as fragile as ever when handling him.
Quivering in misery, you keep a strong grip onto him before you felt pressure along your side. "It's been minutes and you still haven't called 911? I could've been dead by now."
Screaming, you instantly drop the figure once on top of you and force your thighs to back up, causing you to sit perplexed on the concrete floor.
Glancing back up, you find your boyfriend brightly grinning your way, using his arms to hold his upper portion up as you looked back in confusion. Didn't you hit him?
"I was my own stunt double for some scenes," he speaks up, smiling to himself proud as you continued staying still, confused as to what had just happened. "As long as you have the right mentality- you can take a pounding."
Registering where he was going with this, you scoff and quickly allow your feet to hit the ground. Following after you, Pedro jumps at your unpleased sight and watches as you cooly open your back door to let your dog jump out before marching towards the door to your house.
"Wait? Are you mad at me for that, too?" He calls out, tilting his head in question and proceeds to get his answer by the slamming of the door behind you. "Never mind."
Angrily storming through your hallway, you accidentally run into the wooden desk placed against the wall. "Ugh!" you scream, turning around and giving it one hard kick before making your way towards your destination- the kitchen.
"What did the desk ever do to you?" Pedro mumbled to himself, stopping right by it once you were out of sight and fixing it back up against the wall, making sure the books settled on top were nested properly before going after you.
"So that's why one of the legs is chipped? I noticed that-"
"Shut up, Andrew."
"Sorry, go on."
Finding you near the blacked marbled kitchen bar, Pedro ceased his movements. To be honest, he was nervous to confront you. Not only did you find out he slept at his ex girlfriend's house, but he made you believe he was dead.
This was not going to end well.
"How could you do this to me?" He hears you ask, you back being in his peripheral view as you leaned your body over the counter, hands gripping the ends roughly.
"Do what?" he idiotically responds back, mentally slapping himself for having the audacity to question something he surely knows.
Slowly turning around, capturing his soft yet worried eyes, he catches onto your tear ones and breaks down on the inside. "Tell me the truth." you gulp, averting your eyes to your feet as you sense him bobble his head. "Did you sleep with her?"
Choking on air, he frantically shakes his head in dismay, not believing you would actually think that despite the past half an hour of him comprehending that you might so. Maybe he just couldn't believe it would ever come out of your mouth- but this whole situation made him nauseous.
Steadily finding his balance, he inched towards your frail body as you kept your contact with the floor strong, not daring to move it even when the sight of his shoes play in your mind. "Honey," he lowly calls out, lifting his fingers to your chin and hastily bringing your vision to his own. "No- I did not sleep or engage in any sexual nor romantic activity with her."
"Then why did you go to her house and not tell me?!" you cried, nudging his hand off your face, him immediately aiming towards your waist to still have you near. "Why would you do this to me? Why would you sleep over when you know how I would feel?"
"I can't tell you," he confesses, whispering softly. Feeling your face fall, you erupt into tears again as you lift up your palms to hide behind them.
Hiccuping, your hands twitch as they support your weight and force you to fall on top of the counter and continue watering your tears there. Everything was unfair and he couldn't seem to realize how bad your fights have progressed throughout the months.
"If you really care about me," you whimper, still behind your hands as he rubs circles on your waist. "You would consider my feelings and understand why I should know what you did with her."
Sighing, he releases you waist and rubs his forehead in frustration. Pedro wasn't the type to hide things in relationships. In fact, he was amazing when it came to expressing feelings and being honest while you were the same- but you typically took longer to reveal your troubles than he did.
But no matter how loyal he was to you, it wasn't his place to share someone else's business no matter who the association may be.
"I know, baby. I know- believe me," he whispers, pulling you in for a hug and lifting you off the counter as your sobs were felt among his chest. It broke his heart. "But I can't betray her, she needed me and trusted me to see her. I can't just deceive her."
"But you can do that to me?" you reply, catching him off guard as he shuts his eyes tightly by how accurate you were being. "It's okay, I understand."
"No," he shakes his head, groaning before staring you down. "You don't understand, hell- I don't understand this either. But what I need you to know is I did not kiss, flirt, wink, tease, or touch her in any sexual way. We did not have sex - there was no removing of any clothing-"
"Then why did you sleepover?!"
"She needed me," he simply replies, causing you to laugh ridiculy.
"I needed you and you left me," you spit out harshly, not believing how he could defend himself and think you would ever fine with it.
Grunting, he runs his hand over his hair before pouring all of his stress onto you. "What do you want me to do? I told you what happened- she needed me, I helped her, it took longer than expected so I fell asleep on the couch- do you want to touch my knotted back for proof? Because you can!"
"Why am I the one being yelled at?" you respond, watching his face fall in disappointment.
Staying in your position for a minute or two, you continued examining him as he did the same, not knowing where this was headed. That was until he motioned with his hand for you to move closer.
"Come here."
Furrowing your brows, you pause at his words. Did he think hugging was going to solve all of your problems- because it wasn't. "No-"
Feeling his arms glide up along your upper body and finally wrapping around your shoulders, he pressed you up against his chest into the warmest bear hug you might have engaged in.
It was...peaceful.
Sighing, he felt your body soften by the touch. Relaxing, you closed your eyes as he made it his mission to not ease up on his grip. "I didn't do anything with her," he whispers, laying his face comfortably on your shoulder. "I promise, I love you."
Sadly, his confession made you break down more as tears flooded your face and your body fell upon his grip. Easily wrapping his palms on the back of your head, he cradled you tightly and never left your sight once the rest of that day and week.
And that's how that fight ended- with you trusting his sweet nothings and letting him take over your body with his hugs and kisses because he somehow made you believe him.
Every single time.
You wish you could have moved on from that topic that night as you allowed him to show you how much he loved you, but unfortunately that wasn't an option.
Especially when paparazzi exploited more pictures with him and his ex the following weeks later.
"And what about your last fight? You know- the one that ended things," Andrew started, making you halt. "What happened then?"
Quickly standing up, you brushed your sweatpants down before sending him a tight smile. Now that you talked about sad memories you hadn't really thought of in months, you knew the mention of your last fight would only break you.
You weren't ready to undergoing the same pain you felt that night.
"I didn't know these talks about my past would take a toll on me, but they have. I don't want to talk about it, but I appreciate the two of you checking up on me- I really do, but I think its time for me to take a shower and maybe nap- it's been a tiring day."
Feeling your discomfort, Florence and Andrew exchanged a weary glance before looking back up to you, hesitantly nodding. Probably an intense memory, they were determined not to mention it again unless you came forward.
"Alright- but give us a call if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just plain old company!" Florence smiled, wrapping her arms around you for a quick hug before pulling back. "We can even have a sleepover."
"Count me out on that one," Andrew joked, bending down to give you the same hug. "But for real, you can cry on my shoulder any time."
"Thanks," you giggle, soon following them towards your front door as they say goodbye to your dog before departing in their own cars.
What an emotional day it has been.
-
"Do I really have to go? It's no use- I already seen the film. I don't want to rewatch it," you whine as your manager hushes you.
Walking down the side of the theatre, you clutch onto the oversized, black leather jacket you were wearing as your manager and assistant walked on either side of you, directing to to the entrance of a random theatre in the city.
Since the Oscars, nothing has really changed. It's been about three weeks now and there wasn't chaos anymore- it seemed like news about that night had already faded.
Regularly, you did chat with Florence, Shailene, and Andrew on the phone- individually at times throughout your past weeks- but nothing too crazy.
You all had your busy schedules and your manager was still being as hardworking as ever trying to exploit more of you to the press and on the screen. Safe to say, every time she had news it would always be something impressive.
Except for today, when she proudly announced after barging into your house during breakfast that there was a new film premiere you had to attend.
It's not like you opposed the idea- but you watched the film when the production team invited you to their private screening. It would be useless watching it again.
But as persistent as ever, your manager claimed there would be great press and directors attending the public's premiere, following with "an Oscar-nominated actress like you must make themself remembered."
As dramatic as always- but at least she was highly active in your career.
She did everything to make you get noticed, especially when you were at your lowest point mentally after your breakup.
Now onto past relationships, you hadn't heard any news regarding Pedro since you last saw him. Not that you wanted to, but for some reason he was still on your mind. Due to the fact you did sit with your friends ranting about your shared troubles, that's likely the reason.
But all jokes aside, you seriously can't stop thinking about him.
However, you were too scared to admit this to anyone. You tried telling Florence, but every time you mentioned his name she would immediately disregard him, pissed by how he treated you.
Which you loved that she had your back, but you needed someone else to have his own- oddly.
Maybe it was your head deep in thoughts that revealed how you were feeling, but your assistant seemed to notice that you weren't okay- mentally.
After checking in and finding a small crowd, you accepted that maybe most of the audience were in their seats already despite the film starting in almost an hour. Nudging you once your manager left to find one of the producers, you glanced at her as she motioned you to move towards the wall.
"What's up?"
She made a face, practically laughing at your question before continuing on. "Why don't you tell me 'what's up?' The whole ride here you've been silent and I know it's not because you were tired- you slept all afternoon, what's really up?"
Chuckling, you roll her eyes at how nosy she was being- but you knew she only wanted to help you. After working together for years, it was a ritual both of you performed: don't let the other be sad.
Surprisingly, it worked every time. She would hide you from people who upset you while you let her have more vacation days whenever she felt the same.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're thinking about him, huh."
Eyes widening, you shake your head quickly as she laughs at your poor attempt of denying her idea. But she knew right from the moment you got lost in your head that he was the one to blame.
"Don't worry, I won't tell," she whispered loudly, causing you to shove her as she laughed louder.
"Shut up, someone might hear you," you hiss, watching as she tried holding her breath to stop herself from cackling again. She just looked like a fish in need of water.
"Don't think about him then," she teased. "If it's making you lost in your thoughts! Wait- why is he in your head? I thought you hated him?"
Coughing, you shake your head. "I don't hate him- I could never."
"Never?" she raises a brow in shock. "I think we're seeing some progress here. You're falling back in loveeeee with him."
"No way," you scoffed as she grinned heavily. "I'm just thinking about the Oscars since that was the last work-related event I've been to since today and you know- he was there so he ended up in my mind...for a little."
She slowly nods, teasing a smug as makes it pretty clear she did not believe one word you said. Your assistant has seen everything, so she is quite familiar with your thoughts regarding Pedro.
She knows when your happily, sadly, angrily, and crazily daydreaming about him. In this case, she's stuck between happily and crazily- not seeming to find any hints of fury and sorrow through your expressions.
But definitely warmth and frustration- all due to him not being able to leave your head.
"When are you just going to admit you still love him?" She blurts out, causing you to snap your heard towards her. "Everybody sees it, you obviously have a soft spot for him if you let him be near you."
"Near me? He's never near me," you laugh. "And I never show signs I want him back, I don't. I made it clear for months now after perfectly avoiding him at all costs."
"Yeah, but he's still on your mind- that must mean something," she declares, causing your small grin to fall into a tight line.
That must mean something.
Did it?
Shaking that thought away, you reject her idea. "It means he traumatized me."
"It means you're in denial and scared to be with him again," she replied, placing her hands on her hips. "Look, I just know you two are meant to be. Next time you see him, talk to him. Tell him how much you care for him- even if you don't want to admit it in a lovey-dovey way. It can be friendly!"
Giving her a strange look, she lowers her energy quickly before looking around the room, making sure no one saw how enthuastic she became.
"You get the point!" she rolls her eyes. "Just be nice, maybe the both of you can form a friendship or just drift apart knowing there's no hard feelings."
"But there is hard feelings," you declared, pointing out the obvious.
There is a reason why you two broke up, like there is also a reason why you despise him. It all comes down to history and actions, which you've both experienced- which is why, again, you broke up.
"Just..." she started, thinking about it for a second before sending you a sincere glance. "-give it a shot. If you don't hate him, like you said, it wouldn't be terrible to be civil."
Slowly nodding, you understand where she's coming from. This tension between Pedro and you was getting old, and the fact it was only you adding fuel to the non-existent fire since you've broken up is sad.
Especially when all he's been around you was sweet and considerate of your feelings, leaving you alone when he felt your energy- except for that one night, but you have to admit that was your fault for riling him up.
The roughness of heels came marching your way, forcing the both of you to instantly lift your head- finding your manager striking a fake breaming grin with two men beside her. She was trying too hard.
"Girls! This is Greg and Shawn- the writers of the film!" she exclaimed, fluttering her lashes rapidly as both men awkwardly raised a hand, waving it.
Releasing a tiny chuckle, you do the same as your assistant walks closer, sticking out her hand to fully gain their attention and introduce herself.
What can you say- she was a charmer.
Wrapping an arm around your shoulder, your manager slightly pulls you closer to the strangers and strangely bobbles her head- preparing whatever gibberish was about to spit out of her talkative mouth.
"Y/n- the boys thought it would be a great idea to sit in the vip selection among other A-listers- isn't that just lovely? We are very grateful for your offer-"
Boys? Oh god- now she was bonding for her hopeful chances of getting a call for an audition.
Compelling a sweet smile, you feel the only possible response you could give them was a meaningless 'thank you so much' after she literally put you on blast to communicate more. The funniest part about this situation was- you already watched the film!
Clearly you never met these writers- but instead the director himself! Your manager should be satisfied enough with that.
"Would you look at the time,-" Greg- you believe, softly gasps while raising his arm to examine the tiny apple watch planted. "Guests are probably filling up in their seats by now, terribly sorry- but we should probably go."
"I hadn't realized how close we were to showtime- we certainly must continue off our conversation after the film is over!" Shawn proclaims, making your manager nod far too quickly. "I look forward to meeting again."
With that, the two men inclined their motions of farewells before taking off down a dimmed hall, likely finding the exact destination set to premiere their comedic film.
Sighing, you send daggers to your managers who barely blinks before coughing out a swift, "What?"
"You really couldn't wait till after the film was over to sweet talk them?"
Dramatically rolling her eyes at your annoyance, she waves you off by your sudden introversion. It was her job to throw her best compliments about you too them, and she knew you were still too young to understand that everything she did was for a cost.
You.
"C'mon grumpy, let's locate the theatre before you start whining that your feet hurt, too."
Feeling your mouth slightly drop from her remark, you hear your assistant cackle right beside you, using her right palm to hold in her giggles while you mentally prepared for what comeback to throw her way.
You got nothing.
Huffing, your legs followed hers as she guided the two of you towards the same hall the men approached minutes before. The closer you've walked, the larger the capacity gathered around.
For such a low-budget film, it sure did gain quite the crowd.
As the rolling of the ending credits flooded the screen once you sat the last two and a half hours trying to act as if you didn't know what was coming next, you wish you had it in you to say the second time made up for the first- but it didn't.
There we have it, tonight was just not your night and endlessly enough- you couldn't blame it on some silly excuse of watching the same film over again.
Not even your assistant's sneaky offerings of her red licorice lifted your blues- and that speaks enough volume to say the least.
"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" the whole-heartedly voice of your manager's voice filled your ears as the three of you sat in the same lobby as before, still not finding a way to escape a cold room.
Oh how you abominated the sharp hits of the air conditioning- it frankly made coming to the theaters a horror unless layers of clothing and a blanket was tagged along.
"Why can't we leave? The film is done and people are walking out."
"We still have to talk to Shawn and Greg!" your manager declared, presenting a look of pure determination to get her way with their levels of skill.
Groaning, you throw your head in absolute exhaustion. Fairly, if your manager hadn't had made such an early visit during the morning hours you're sure you would've been in a better mood.
It was like the more you interacted, the less energy you had to give.
In order to survive the next few hours, you needed your phone or who knows how your fake laughters will sound.
And you call yourself an actress.
Sliding your hand to the back of your pockets, you wait for the feel of your large iphone to surface- but that moment never comes. Swiftly, you check your leather jacket ones just in case you slipped it there without realizing.
You didn't.
Anxiously glancing towards your assistant, your trembling hands find her arm. "Have you seen my phone? It's not on me."
Examining your hands before meeting your eyes, she shrugs it off. "Relax, no need to have a nervous breakdown- I'm sure you left it in the car with your bag-"
"No, I had it on me during the previews."
"We did go to the bathroom, too- why not just go check those two places?" she suggests. Concerned filled you, hoping nobody was capable of actually stealing your phone- it would be such a hassle getting another one. "I'll check the bathroom, you check our seats."
Agreeing, the two of you sneakily escape your manager when her back was turned, unpleasantly speed walking down the familiar hall before parting ways to your needed locations.
Opening the thick, black doors and striding up the long runway, your eyes are met with the same darkened seating area you were in less than twenty minutes ago.
Then and there, you use this desertion in power- running towards the middle rows consider 'vip' and begin your inspection. Fuck, you wish your had some form of light to help- you couldn't see shit.
Sliding your fingers among the seat, you lift up the cushions in hopes it mysteriously pops up, but all you find is pieces of popcorn and gum glued down.
Gross.
Feeling your eyes begin to water, you were sure you were seconds away from crying like a little kid over the loss of your beloved possession before you heard a deep voice call out for your attention.
"Is this yours? I heard it ringing when I came back in and- uh," the person froze, not having the ability to finish off their sentence as you gradually lifted your body off the floor into their view.
Hopelessly praying the stranger was regarding your phone, your eyes search for their hands first and there it was- your phone!
The corners of your mouth lift up, as well as the creases around your eyes as you internally cheer for your discovery. However, it faltered once you noticed a familiar tattoo laying on one of their palms. Moving your eyes up, you're sure your smile completely disappears once you recognize those brown eyes.
How did you not catch onto his voice from down there?
"Uh- yeah- that's mine," you nervously reply, choking on your words that probably made you sound like you were about to lose consciousness by how strung you were, and hesitantly reach out for the device.
Pedro quietly lets you grab it, not saying one word as your hands collide for a split second before the object was back in your own. You didn't miss the name that appeared on the lit up screen when touched- your assistant must have tried calling you to see if the phone would ring in the bathroom.
Smart.
Avoiding awkward farewells, Pedro swiftly turns around and makes his way down the theatre stairs, not daring to continue on with the barely existing conversation you shared. He's leaving, that fast?
Thinking about all your past interactions, he would always try to chat with you- even when you did give him the coldest shoulder of all time- because that's who he was: kind.
But now he's...walking away?
"Hey- uhm," you begin, following clumsily after him, almost tripping on one of the steps as he reaches his final steps and doubtfully turns your way. Once you stood another step ahead of him, you feel that swirling feeling in your stomach again.
You were nervous- you've never felt this way around him during your breakup- never.
Adjusting your arms inside your jacket, a small smile is extracted out of you as you watch his stay flat. He did not look interested one bit and it frightened you to death. "Thanks for finding my phone- I-I was really scared there for a minute."
Not reacting to your little laugh at the end, he replied- dull. "I didn't know it was yours, I would have given it to guest services if so."
Ouch, you're sure you're hurt expression was recognizable on the outside as much as it pained you on the inside. He really did not want to talk to you, even when you're showing your appreciation.
He really was over you.
"I know," you squeak out, not missing the way his eyes tiredly scanned your own as his body stood there stiff as ever. "I just wanted to thank you, that's all- you saved me a lot of trouble."
Coldly laughing from that, he nods. "I'm sure I have."
Your body tingled with rage as he carelessly ignored your warmth and threw jabs in return. "What's with the attitude? I'm doing nothing wrong here- I'm trying to be friendly."
Inching up, his face presents a sullen one and you immediately feel intimated by the height he owned and used as his advantage. Just the first few seconds before he spoke alone made you feel his displeasure. "And what about all those times I was friendly? I received shit so forgive me for allowing you to experience the same treatment you give others."
Loss for words, you were speechless and didn't know what to say back. For one, you were alarmed by his hard demeanor he gifted to you. Second, humiliation soared throughout as he called out your imperfections.
In other words, he wanted you to know you were a bitch.
"And I take that back but-"
Pedro was about to burst out laughing in front of your face, but he held himself together in sake of your feelings. Can you believe that, despite the misery he still cared for your state of mind. "Taking back isn't apologizing."
Sneering, you cross your arms as his eyebrows furrowed in irritation. "Apologize for what? You were the one who fucked my life over."
Scoffing, he shakes his head in vexation by your lack of empathy- as always. "Countless of times we would contemplate our faults and how we could move on and now you're discounting your wrongdoings- typical."
Pedro did not want to have another unpleasant argument with you, especially in a public setting again, and decided it was best to just walk away. If he kept his mouth shut, he wouldn't make this altercation worse.
Meeting his broad back, you lightly gasp as he ignores you altogether and makes his leave far too early for your liking. Charging towards him, you feel his back solidify once your fingers yank him to a halt.
You were not done with this conversation, but you did know once you got home you were definitely going to regret how toxic you were radiating in the room.
"Typical? What do you mean by that?"
"Knock it off and let me walk away, y/n," Pedro warns, still facing his back towards you after blocking your attempts of moving him. "We both know how badly this will end."
You know, but for some reason you don't want him to leave. Was that so bad?
"No, I wanna hear exactly what you have to say about me- maybe it'll make me recognize the ignorant ego I have."
"You're talking out in anger, you're trying to cause a fire that I won't let you ignite," he simply replies, his eyes still not found by his hidden appearance.
Very poetic.
Scowling profoundly, you don't realize what you're doing until you're finally met with his provoked display after. Stalking around his body, you stand in front of him and jab a finger towards his chest. "You're preventing me from bettering myself, isn't that what you always wanted?"
Leaning down until his face with inches away from yours, you make out his hard features clearly now. His face expressed discomfort as his eyes creased while lifting- even his lips stayed hard as a rock. "I'm going to tell you one more time, let me go."
Ignoring his cold shoulder, he inhaled a sharp breath before taking matters into his own hands. You don't want to listen? Fine. But he wasn't going to let you drag him into this any further.
Right as you push another finger up against him, your wrist was taken and roughly pushed down by your side as Pedro's body practically belted against yours. "Get off me!"
"Not until you stop fucking around," he grunted, immediately widening his eyes in realization. He knows you don't like when he casually curses directly to you- even when he doesn't harm. "Sorry- I-I meant when you stop playing around."
Praying that a smile doesn't escape you, it made you feel some type of way capturing his manners and how even though you two were on rocky terms- he still had some respect for you.
"Why are we even fighting right now?" you sigh, slowly softening your muscles in forfeit.
"You tell me- it sounds like you want my attention," he casually replied, releasing your hands and stepping back an inch. "Considering you won't let me leave."
"I'm just trying to have a normal, polite conversation! Is that so wrong?"
Softly laughing, he shakes his head in disappointment. "You don't get it."
Scrunching your face, you become lost by his words. "Get what?"
Scanning the wall before meeting your eyes again, Pedro motions his hands between the two of you. "What do you think will come out of us having a conversation? Acquaintances? Maybe a friendship?"
Thinking about it for a second, you feel your head eventually nod as he squeezes his eyes shut in return. Was that not what he's been trying to do- end in good terms? "It's what's healthy for us."
"Us?!" Pedro groans, sending you a tired gaze that had you weak to the knees. "There is no 'us' anymore. You made that perfectly clear after causing a scene last month in front of your friends."
"I didn't plan on that happening a-"
"I'm even letting go the bigger scene you caused inside the after party- isn't that enough to understand why I feel this way?" he adds on, frustrated that you would think otherwise.
You were the one who caused the attention and brought a bad look on his name. He should be shouting at you like you would have done to him if the roles were reversed.
"I'm not saying we should get back together, all I want-"
"-is a friendship? Some sort of relation that won't make us strangers?" he interjects, causing you to stay silent. That was all he needed to understand what you really wanted: not to let him go. "Look, we had our history, but I don't think it's good we keep in contact anymore."
You swear you felt all air leave your body as your face felt cold. Was he breaking up with you- in life itself?
"I-uhm don't- I don't understand," you cough, scared to make a bigger fool out of yourself. You're sure you probably look like a ghost by how much color you've lost since his recent reveal and again- you were grateful this room was dim. "Why can't we at least be friends? Not even that- why can't we at least know we have each other in our lives? Why end up as strangers?"
"What do you mean? We hadn't talked to each other in almost a year till last month! We basically are strangers," he exclaimed, causing you to look down at your feet as your heart ached.
He wasn't wrong- you just hadn't realized he's been right. And to blame was you, not him. You pushed him away in the first place, he was only kind enough to oblige.
And it was surely pathetic how now you wanted him back in your life, even if it meant not even talking just to assure yourself he still had your back.
He didn't.
"Y/n..." he sadly muttered, trying his best not to hurt your feelings as you were still continued to stay downwards- not wanting to disclose more hurt. "You didn't even say happy birthday to me, how can you be considered a friend? Friends don't do that, not to me at least."
This caused you to glance back up to him, disagreeing immediately as to what he was trying to get at. Of course you knew it was his birthday, you celebrated two with him in the past! "I didn't want to make things weird-"
"You never do but still avoid me like the plague and breakdown whenever I'm too close to your liking. I'm sorry for trying to do what's best and leave us in the past,-" he explains, closing his eyes in discomfort, "-but I can't keep letting this go on. I'm too old to be going back and forth as if this is some high school relationship- it's not."
High school relationship- you never knew simple three words could have you shrinking in guilt.
"And I know things will be easier for you when the time comes- I won't be around to nag you," Pedro tries to lighten up the mood but you can't break the line upon your lips. You were emotionless and it made Pedro upset.
Why would he be upset? You finally deserved learning your lesson after treating him as if he was nothing to you. But despite all your flaws, he still cared for you.
He cares so much that he's willing to let you go so you can do better things in life- without him.
Trying to find the right words to say, you give up. There isn't much to discuss now that he wants nothing to do with you.
You fucked up- for real this time.
In fact, you shouldn't even be hurt- you wanted this. Or at least that's what you thought before last month when he wasn't on your mind 24/7.
Maybe it was the way he begged for your forgiveness after not seeing each other for so long that made you realize how badly you adored him nearby.
Maybe it was the attention he was giving you after you continuously rejected his pleads, furthering the argument until he stormed off in the end.
And maybe you should've took his concluding estrangement announcement seriously before he left you last month.
But just like they say, you never know what you have until it's gone.
"I see," you quietly respond, slowly nodding as a faint grin forms among Pedro's lips, appreciating your cooperation over this mess. "Maybe it is best if we stray away from each other- you can even delete my number."
"I already have," he accidentally blurts out, not realizing how bad that sounds until he hears it himself and cringes. Your sufferable reaction didn't make things better.
"You know what," you fake a laugh, trying to calm your voice as you feel it about to crack any second. The tears were heading your way- you just knew it. "Fuck you."
Pedro's face falls, taken back by your inappropriate language. "Excuse me?"
Noticing your rushed attitude, he wanted to stop you and tell you everything was alright. That everything was going to be easy and how the two of you would get passed this.
But he knew he'd be lying.
"You heard me, fuck you," you casually slip out, scoffing as his eyes darken. "For someone who's so kind to others, I would have thought you would know what words were right to say."
"You're one to talk, sweetheart," he chuckled, staring at you in repulse. "Every time you talk you always have to neglect someone else, I'm fucking glad I don't have to witness that ever again."
"Me too, my family was right- you are a joke who wasted my time."
With that, you make your leave to have the chance of having the last word. Maybe if you left this room faster he would forget about your comment. You knew it was harsh but you didn't know what else to say.
You wanted him to hurt- but to what extent?
Your arm was instantly tugged as Pedro pulled you back, not letting his grip go as his face was still filled with resentment. "And your team was right, you are a bitch."
Freezing, you stare at him in shock as his face doesn't fall once. What the hell is he talking about? "Get away from me or else-"
"Or else what? Weren't you the one physically blocking me from leaving minutes ago? What has changed?" he tries to smirk, manipulating you into believing how ruthless he could be when really he was dying to tell you the act he was pulling. "Cat got your tongue?"
Your face felt hot with rage as you yanked your arm off his hand, catching him by surprise as you glared at him. "I'm so glad I never took you back, you're fucking pathetic."
"And I'm insanely glad you didn’t, saved thousands returning that fucking ring."
Those twelve words made you halt and even made Pedro speechless. By the staggered look planted on his face, you could tell he didn't mean to say that.
Ring? As in, an engagement ring?
Weakly failing to stand straight, you felt your voice crack. "You were going to propose?"
Shaking his head, he swiftly backed away. "I need to go." Before you could stop him, he was already out of the theatre and probably near larger gatherings of people that would only prevent you from talking about this more.
Holding your face with your hands, you couldn't even cry. You didn't know what to do, you were utterly lost for words.
If he was really going to propose like he hinted at, what meaning did your last fight have? Nothing made sense and you don't know how you could move on from this now that he wanted you out of his life completely.
Hearing doors open, you instantly averted your gaze in hopes he had come back in and planned to properly finish what he started.
Instead, you manager came barging in while gripping onto your assistant's wrist harshly.
"Where the hell have you been?! I've been looking for you everywhere and to find out your stupid assistant-"
"Don't you dare disrespect her," you sternly cut her off, watching as her face falters by your sudden tone. "If you're here to pester us some more, feel free to walk home."
Laughing in shock, your manager tilts her head at your rudeness. "Excuse me? It wasn't my fault your assistant wondered off. After everything I have done to protect you and your career you feel the need to throw me out-"
"Did she hurt you?" you cut her off, focusing on your assistant who has gone quiet. You notice the redness on her small wrists before she slowly nods, looking down in fear your manager would try something else.
"You're fired," you simply state, pushing past your frantic ex- manager as you lightly guide your assistant out the door.
You ignore the rage your ex- manager unveils as you make it back to the lobby. Ignoring the waves random people sent your way in hopes of finding your destined car sooner so you could help your assistant with her injuries and be home already.
And in bed to think about what the fuck just happened tonight.
+
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wayfayrr · 3 months
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🦆 anon is ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s been a minute, life been hectic for a while 😩 but I’m hoping that starting today, I’ll get a bit of free time to peruse my favorite blogs!!! So, how have you been? Busy? Have you been drinking enough water? Stay hydrated all you thirsty hoes out there!!! 😁
Anyway! Trying to catch up on stuff I’ve missed…
Agreed, sleep is for the weak. I shall sleep when I am dead. Not even the eepy meds work anymore.
*Gasp!* an anniversary? Of your first LU fic? Congrats!
A raffle? Noice! Can’t wait to see what the winners come up with.
Few sentences prompts??? Love it!!! Number 7 plz and make it hurt if possible. I like angst.
Recently saw a YT short that gave me a new idea… it’s a different kind of “self aware” ask. What if the boys in game aren’t self aware… but your drawings of them are? I’ll link the short, don’t worry. But this creator drew their characters and did an animation of them actually being alive and interacting with them and even the other drawings. Thought it was a cool idea to share with the self aware boys being actual drawings that were drawn by reader lol! Actually… that would make reader their actual creator… the ideas are turning in my head with this one~
https://youtube.com/shorts/OcGy7QwN3Lc?si=1HpoRtt_PS7Q5BAG
It's good to see you duck!!! it's been a bit and I hope you're doing well!!! Stuff's been getting better for me, Had an interview for a job just after getting this ask and I'm waiting to hear back now.
It's really funny too cause I track my sleep and just every morning when I check now the time asleep is just gradually getting less and less lol
And yeah! It's been a little over a year since I've started creating for linked universe now, and it's been an amazing time <33 met some truly wonderful people cause of it
7 (silent fury) seems to be the most popular prompt asfvdsvgsdfgv this is actually the 3rd ask I've gotten with it (but I'm gonna write another mini one anyway, wild rather than time for this one >:D)
He knew he was a failure. The first moments of his, truly his own memories and not another life half-remembered, was being told that he failed after all. That he died when the hero was supposed to prosper. That didn't make what he was going through any easier. And wallowing in his regrets wouldn't help you feel safe again. The chain all knew your boundaries, they all knew to ask you your opinions. To make sure that you were comfortable. But villagers didn't. And wild wasn't fast enough to be your hero. He was fine not being Hyrule's, as long as he could be yours that's all he could ever long for. But he failed you. Comforting you wasn't even an option with how you'd locked yourself away in your room, away from everything while you coped. Leaving the only way to take out his burning fury to find the person who dared to lay a hand on you. He couldn't fail you again.
[Prompt list]
I've been seeing that trend too!! Its one that I really like - and I've actually been sent a couple by dms lol it's a really interesting take on the au, and it's just fun in general really. Although I'll probably stay away from the creator == being treated as a deity cause it's kinda an ick for me (it's just a trope I don't like tbh, each to their own but I won't write/read it) but them thinking they have more of a right to be closer to you? the way it could cause arguments if they met the originals? oh there is so much potential for it as an idea honestly
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sandbees · 2 years
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I don't know if you open, but I love. No. I adore your house of mouse au, I've seen most of it but I wonder, what if the ob gang see Yuu and the great seven chatting then Yuu saw them, pull them and say 'this is the guy I told you back then', now I probably already read one of ask that contain this, but I wanna see only overblot's first reaction that probably quite fascinating
:0 alright!
It's already been a few months since Yuu has introduced their friends to the House of Mouse. Honestly, they were fine with that, until there was a planned Dorm Leader meeting. Sadly, their usual spot was taken by the teachers for another meeting, but hey, the House of Mouse is always there! So Yuu invites them for a meeting.
Thankfully, Mickey was glad to give Yuu time off ("I wouldn't want you to be focused on work all the time! It's important to keep your social life back at home healthy. Enjoy the show! :)")
So, they wait for the other Dorm Leaders before they take them to their mirror upstairs.
Kalim: Oh! Are we having a sleepover!?
Yuu: No, we're going to my workplace. They're giving me time off so we can have a meeting and enjoy their performances!
Riddle: Well, as long as it doesn't distract us from the meeting...Why are we even in your room to begin with? Yuu: 'Cause we can't get in without using my mirror, duh. *Pushes Idia into the mirror*
Idia: WHY ME-
They go through the mirror, and the others are pretty impressed with Yuu's personal dressing room.
Yuu: Yeah, my boss is the best :). Oh, btw, don't be surprised to see the Great Seven.
Azul: Hahaha, WHAT?
As they walk out, Minnie personally greets them and leads them to a table. Goofy comes by a minute later and takes all of their orders. As they wait for their orders to come, Yuu gauges everyone's reactions.
Azul is, unsurprisingly, writing things down, muttering about "new ideas for Mostro Lounge. Kalim is looking around the whole dining room, his eyes sparkling. Riddle and Vil are talking quietly, commenting on the decor. Idia was grossed in his video game he brought, glancing at anyone who passed by the table. Leona was messing with the center piece, looking absolutely bored. And Malleus just looked happy to be there.
The meeting went well, actually. With a lively atmosphere, the Dorm Leaders were able to have some productive conversations. Yuu was especially happy to be included in future events run by the Dorms. There were a few interruptions, though.
Of course, it was pure coincidence that the Great Seven were also having a get together. But the oddest thing was that THEY WERE AT THE TABLE NEXT TO THEM??? If that isn't planned idk what is. Yuu introduced the gang to one another.
Riddle is all red in the face, probably very embarrassed to meet the Queen of Hearts. He certainly didn't expect to meet her in person! Though she's pretty impressed by him. He knows all 810 rules by heart. What a good Dorm Leader, remembering all the ruels and making sure the rest remember them!
Leona and Scar didn't talk to each other at first, but when the topic of siblings came around, YOU BET THAT THEY WERE TALKING SHIT. Honestly the funniest thing for them to realize this and begin gossiping about the dumbest things people have done in front of them. It's very sweet to watch them vent out their frustrations to each other.
Ursula talking with Azul and giving him tips on how to blackmail convice people to sign his contracts. Maybe even answer his questions about herself or giving him ideas for his business. A magic item made by the Sea Witch herself? For a price, of course~
Honestly, I can only see Jafar tolerate Kalim at best. He sees Kalim as a foolish kid. Though maybe Jafar slightly warms up to him??? Yuu is probably the one to mediate between the two, honestly.
VIL AND QUEEN GOSSIPING ABOUT BEAUTY TIPS. VIL WOULD TOTALLY TELL HER ABOUT MODERN BEAUTY TIPS. They would be the mean girls of the group tbh. I think Queen would also give tips on being a better leader, because despite her vanity, she was probably a good ruler if the kingdom didn't go to hell in the movie.
Idia would 100% be dying inside at Hades' extrovertness. Hades would be very excited to learn more about his dorm honestly. (Wait no Hades would joke about them being related, and Idia would sink into his seat further). The conversation was awkward until Hades asked about the video game Idia brought. Idia would not SHUT UP ABOUT IT-
Malleus and Maleficent would have a lovely chat over teas and biscuts that they ordered. Maleficent would 100% give Malleus any and all advice she had gained over the years. (Maybe advise Malleus to snag Yuu before anyone else got them). They would totally have conversations about the use of gargoyles and how spot a wild one.
It's getting late at night, and the meeting was over, but Yuu convinced everyone to stay. The show began, and it was one of the best Yuu's seen in awhile (to be fair, most of the shows were sabotaged by Pete, which they helped stop).
The night ended with a bang, and all the Dorm Leaders agreed to hold another meeting at the House of Mouse some time in the future.
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bunni-v1 · 11 months
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I have a ton of crazy twst aus that I'm never ever gonna capitalize on, so I'm just gonna throw out the one that's invaded my daydreams the most recently.
So it's like zombie apocalypse au, but instead of zombies, it's blot. So they don't really have "phantoms" but the blot acts like a brain-eating parasite. Like the one you see in slugs that slowly eat away at them until they take over their bodies. So blot turns them into lifeless creatures, but they have magical abilities that make them more of a threat. The way it spreads is by eating at magic, so using magic against it is pretty much useless and can get the user infected too.
Think... like the flowers in the recent masquerade event, except instead of destroying magic and rendering the sorcerer useless it uses them to get stronger and spread faster.
So it starts with Riddle and inevitably spreads around until there's only a handful of people left who are desperately looking for a cure.
I personally think the survivors would be those who are super resourceful rather than extremely magically talented. Like Ruggie, Epel, Rook, Azul, and Jade (maybe). There would be a few exceptions like Kalim and Idia, and I think that Lilia and Silver have a decent chance of surviving. I wouldn't really say Malleus could since he's pretty reliant on the fact that he's magically strong. Ofc MC survives because they don't have magical capabilities, but they'd probably lose grim which is pretty devastating tbh.
Ruggie and Epel are both able to use their environment to their advantage really well, they know how to make meals out of very little and can survive in harsher environments easily. They're obvious contenders I feel, so they'd both be likely to survive in a more apocalyptic setting.
Rook I also feel is obvious. He's a hunter, and while he does use a lot of magic, he likely can survive without using it. He's good with a bow and arrow, incredibly strong, and way smarter than he lets on. The only way he might die is by sacrificing himself for Vil or someone else, but I don't think Vil would let him do that anyway lol.
Azul and Jade I'm on the fence about. Azul is really resourceful, but he's not exactly athletic or anything. He'd be a vital member of the group for understanding how to bargain and he has loads of knowledge, but other than that he's not too useful in any way. He's just good at conning people into keeping him alive. Jade I feel has a higher chance of surviving than Floyd, but he'd likely only survive if he was able to get away from Azul and Floyd at the start of the spread. He's great to have because he is athletic and can also survive in harsh environments, but he's also Jade so he doesn't deserve to live.
Kalim and Idia are a case of surviving out of sacrifice. I'm sure you could figure that out, but Jamil absolutely would sacrifice himself for Kalim. I'm sorry if you disagree, but it is ingrained in Jamil to protect Kalim and he is fully ready to die for him if he has to. Ortho would sacrifice for Idia, and Idia would only live on because Ortho told him to. Kalim wouldn't be all that resourceful, but he'd be good for group morale and keeping everything happy and healthy. Idia would be amazing if you could get him to any building with any electronics. He can find a way to get the power up and running, and once he has power he has the ability to have eyes everywhere if he so pleases. Really good for looking out for danger too.
Lilia and Silver are probably on a case-by-case basis and depend on how I would write everything. Lilia is a war general so he's been in some pretty tough places. He absolutely could survive an apocalypse, but the death of Sebek and Malleus might just be too much for him to stand. He only recently learned to love because of them, how could he go on without them. Silver would keep living out of sheer willpower. He could lose everything around him, be absolutely devastated, and keep a strong face for his lost family and friends.
There are a couple others that could be swapped in or out, and I'm sure everyone else has their own opinions, but that's kinda my take on the whole au lol.
Thank you for babbling, I'm going back into the void <3
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dorylinae-supremacy · 3 months
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Taking a break from writing striped hat so I can ramble about fae AU's again they're one of my fav things ever.
Tags: DSBI, dark Techno, dark Phil, dark Kristin, mentioned Kristin, kidnapping, impersonation, usual fae stuff tbh, its like 600 words of me rambling about fic ideas below the cut, read more if thats your jam.
Idk if I've mentioned it before but I've been toying with the concept that fae take the face of the first human they've tricked and then it slowly morphs into something thats more their own.
This isn't rooted in any actual folklore as far as I'm aware but I like the vibe it adds. It adds another layer of terror to every interaction with them. Each time you come across a fae, you're looking into the eyes of their first victim.
Maybe they tweak it a bit here and there so they can lure other humans better but I like to think it stays mostly the same. It also adds another layer to things from the fae's perspective as well.
A fae close to their family might deliberately pick out and push a human into a deal if they think it'll make them look similar to their other families faces.
It can also add a layer where fae bloodlines might literally just prey upon entire human families purely for aesthetics. The worst part is a human might not even know that thats the case, they might just chalk it up to a generational curse or bad luck.
Something like this wouldn't apply to four seasons since they werent born fae and thus already had their faces but that wouldn't apply to Phil. The dude they see could genuinely just be the face of some unlucky traveller centuries ago.
These faces could also be used as lures for other humans who might've known the tricked person before. All the fae has to do is look a little scuffed up and beg for help in a hidden circle and they've got a steady supply of victims.
It also means that if any of the humans they steal do get out somehow, the people they knew might turn away from them and assume a fae is tricking them.
I know I'm rambling but its such a tasty plot device.
But anyway I wanna try it eventually. I have one fleshed out fic in my head where fae!Wil tries to trick human!Techno but kinda messes up the order that you're meant to do things.
Fae take the face after as a trophy of sorts, he took it before making any deals to try and be more relatable to him since they're both kids.
Human!Techno is, of course, a very well adjusted prince and naturally decides that this fae is his twin and that he has to have him. So with the help of years of training against fae, he's able to trick Wilbur and steal him.
The rest of the fic is Wil being terrified because the yoink has been reversed but even after he reveals the fact that he's a fae Kristin and Phil have already decided to keep him. No running for him :)
But I have another in mind where twinsduo end up taking the faces of two princes in a kingdom but then get mistaken for actually being them.
Maybe the princes were playing in the forest before getting yoinked but either way a royal guard comes and just drags them back to the castle.
They can't really do much about it since they're super young fae and there's a lot of iron around but things only get worse when the antarctic empire invades and takes them hostage, still thinking that they're the actual princes.
Originally they were just gonna bide their time until they can go back into the woods again but now they're being kept as hostage and Phils getting more and more interested in how odd they keep acting.
Obviously it ends in them getting surprise adopted but I'm not sure how to get from point A to B yet so more brainrot will be scheduled for when I work it out.
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So I'm bored again and I've come to take it out on you per usual.
Now, since my last ask touched upon darker(ish) ideas, today I figure I'll give you some lighter soulmate prompts this time around, the ideas all my own but any individual soulmate au is just one I plucked off of the internet. I may or may not end up writing them who knows:
When your soulmate is hurt, you grow flowers wherever on your body it happened. Her whole life, foreign flowers have sprouted from Neytiri's flesh and she doesn't know why. His whole life, foreign flowers have sprouted from Jake's flesh and he doesn't know why. (Just a cute flower fic. Obsessed with the idea of these two trying to explain their respective planets' flowers to one another.)
Ao'nung and Rotxo have known they were soulmates since before they even had any actual clue as to what a soulmate was. They have been promised to each other for over a decade. They have a plan, a life they're going to build together. Neteyam was never part of that plan. A third soulmate was never part of that plan. (Just like the idea of Rotxo literally doing the gods' work. Ao'nung: why is Neteyam here? Rotxo: Oh, I just thought it'd be fun to bring him along. Ao'nung: to our make-out spot? Neteyam: . . . I can go. Ao'nung: yes. Rotxo: no. Neteyam:  👀)
Neteyam and Tsireya are not soulmates. Not by a long shot. Their soulmate might as well be duty, and if that means becoming mates for the sake of an alliance between the sea and forest people after centuries of conflict then so be it. They'll find a way to come together. (I love stories of people fighting against the path chosen for them, don't get me wrong, but every now and then a sprinkle of the opposite fascinates me and I think these two would be perfect for the concept.)
Jake was born with the sentence "you should go away" on his shoulder and the sentence "don't thank. You do not thank for this" on his upper arm. Tsu'tey was born with the sentence "nah, you'd miss me too much" stretched across his abdomen. Neytiri has the sentence "hey wait, don't" on her lower arm. It isn't until the two go to the Augustine school that they even learn what it means. (Love the potential this has.)
From the moment they meet it's as if they can read each other's minds. It takes months for Jake and Norm to pick up on the fact that Kiri and Spider can actually read one another's minds. (They basically know each other better than anyone else, might as well crank that shit up to 11.)
A one-shot where Kiri and Tsireya are literally the lighthouse of soulmate relationships and all of their friends come to them to receive advice about their own soulmates. (Really random pairing but tbh I can dig the energy these two would bring to the table if dating.)
Spider has known that Neteyam is his soulmate since he was 7. Neteyam has known that Spider is his soulmate since he was six. Neither of them have told the other yet. (Bonus points if Tuk is literally the only one who knows and keeps on trying to play cupid.)
And I'm out for now folks.
Also, random thought but I just realized how much literally everyone in atwow needs a Rotxo in their life like seriously you could pair this guy with anyone from the group and I wouldn't bat an eye. Kiri? I get it. Ao'nung? I get it. Spider? I get it. Neteyam? I get it. Lo'ak? I get it.
Good god, yes, we nEED some happy aus and you know I love love soulmate aus. I'll be waiting for you to write them, we're all waiting for your other stories Boredom Anon.
-Gotta say, I've never vibed with those flower wound aus because I have a hard time conceptualizing it. However, I adore the idea of Jake and Neytiri both explaining differences in their worlds to each other, but focusing on one type of thing. That's why I lOVE a daemon au for them, because the daemons would be animals that the other isn't used to and that's interesting.
-KSKKSKS THE IDEA OF AO'NUNG BEING TRICKED INTO THIS BY ROTXO. That's a pairing I have yet to see, I'll be honest!
-Honestly, as someone that doesn't care for Neteyam and Tsireya, I do love the idea of non-soulmates bonding. I've been thinking about it since the Spider ghost fic I mentioned yesterday. How many people's soulmates are dead and are ghosts? If it's a lot, they have to end up in some relationships. There's something so sad and beautiful about meeting someone who's soulmate is also dead, and building a life together that might not have been predestined and is also a little haunted, but still is nice all the same. Sorry, I'm still stuck on the ghost shit.
-lOVE Neytiri/Tsu'tey/Jake having first sentence soulmarks, I love the confusion of the Na'vi being confronted with English they don't understand on their children. I love it so much.
-Kiri and Spider reading each others minds is basically canon already, but it just would mean Spider can't hide all of his darkest feelings from Kiri. None of that loneliness or desperation for family can slip through the cracks; I think it would result in a Sully child revolution at a way younger age lol. If Spider being Kiri's soulmate didn't already change things.
-I have totally seen Tsireya and Kiri shit, they are super fun. I also loooove a couple that is flawless and in everyone else's business all the time.
-I think nocorro might have taken over locorro for me, but I cAN'T say this yet it's too much to do to my boys. This concept, man, it's got so much comedy and tragedy potential. It depends on what the soulmate au is, you know? Is it soulmarks, is it shared dreams or shared pain; what is is changes the outcome. I won't go into more detail cause I have something I'm cooking up that's a little similar to this, but I won't forget it, we'll come back to it.
As always, thank you for our soulmate au food boredom anon. I am lOVING them.
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samuelroukin · 2 months
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hi! not here in favor of you making Actual Books (i don't even read any of the newly published books anymore for reasons and reasons and reasons), just complimenting your work in general
i dont really care for cod at all but i really enjoy how you write the characters!! and tbh the only reason i watched some playthroughs of the games was so i could understand your work better. sure, fandom is the main reason people click in, but it's definitely not why they're staying. and it's not why people are writing paragraphs of praise to your stubborn ass even though you work so hard to never listen to any of it 💖
also id be enchanted to hear more about your ocs on future works or even here on tumblr!! you're great at creating made up people that actually feel real. they're pretty round (funnily enough that is the actual technical term), even when you don't tell us a lot about them
also 👀👀 say you have original stuff in mind?????? i would love love love love love to know more about that!! you're getting pretty darn good at worldbuilding and ambiance. better with each update now that you're trying out this AU thing. it would be infinitely interesting to see what you come up with when working with your own stuff only
anyway what i mean is. even though I don't quite believe in Published Books on this day and age, please know that your writing is definitely good enough for the editorial market (even more so now that those dark romance things are going mainstream and a lot of them read like the stuff 12yos post on wattpad. what tf is the deal with that? but I digress. out of those circles your work is still definitely good enough) it's legit like Good Work, even if the tiny mean bully whispering in your ear disagrees. it's good realism. good introspection. good porn and also good narrative and great junction of those. it's lovely seeing how far you've come in so little time and we're excited to see you reach new heights in the future (because you will, with absolute certainty, unless you stop. but i don't think you could really stop yourself at this point lmao)
and please know that achieving that level of quality with no help or instruction or training in so little time is a grand fucking accomplishment
point is: Who Care? We Care (even if we're not an enormous audience)(...yet?). and not just because it's cod
it's def a nice compliment to get thank u 🙏💖
and so is you reading my stuff without caring much for cod! though i wouldn't be able to write this much about them without (clearly) being completely insane about Them and the basis the games laid (haha laid) because without them i'd be nowhere at all, these characters are so. well they clearly took over my brain lol, though i worry a Lot about them being ooc when i write them 💀
i actually feel like my guys are so barebones and one dimensional rip, which is fine since i mostly created them as little more than a joke and they're just being used as set dressing, so that means a lot 🙏
my Main story is this sprawling urban fantasy thing, which if i ever did write it would need serious adjustments since it's. old and not aged very well. the gist of it was the main character (30 year old barista) has Visions, cue road trip with his bestie (ex bf from high school that he reconnected with years later) to figure out The Deal after they suddenly get much worse. it's about that on the surface, and below about dealing with missed chances and not living up to ur potential. it sounds stupid but i've been Thinking about it since i was like 14 so cringe is to be expected lol
lsklhkjhffghst yeah no offense to them but despite this fic being what it i i wouldn't really want to fall into that category even if that sound like i think i'm better than them (i'm not it's just not my thing. or i guess it is and i just have a superiority complex. anyway) um thank you once again 🥺i def feel like i haven't improved a lot but you're dead on about not being able to stop myself anyway lmao
idk why you're being this nice to me but 💖💖💖
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tranquilpetrichor · 2 years
Text
iron sharpens iron
"as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." -proverbs 27:17
cast: san x rival gn!reader
genre: action, fantasy, rivals to friends (?), elemental powers!au, academy!au
wc: 744
warnings: use of weapons depicted, descriptions of mild pain
notes: so. this was definitely not inspired by the fact that i've watched some action scenes recently and have been fighting too many enemies in genshin. and i mean, the bible verse (but tbh i'm not that religious). i've hit an annoying writer's block as of recently, due to many circumstances (which mostly fall under college/school/studying for exams). but i figure i can write this much, and just try and to take things one day at a time.
as always, remember that reblog, likes and feedback are appreciated!
taglist: @restlessmaknae
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you rushed towards san, spear aimed carefully towards him. this fight had been going on for too long, and it was time to end it, one way or another.
the side of your weapon clashed with his water blades. he moved elegantly, using his body control to try and gain the upper advantage against you. but you wouldn't allow that. with the help of your spear, you remained grounded, managing to support your core. you kicked three times in succession, forcing him to dodge out of the way.
on the sides, people watched in awe as the two of you fought. ignoring the fact that this was a battle, the way that you responded to him and vice versa made the combat seem more like a dance for two.
you stared at the camera and screens displaying your battle stats for a brief moment. at this school, (sanctioned) fights were actually encouraged, in order to improve a student’s strength in combat, and many people tuned in to watch sparring matches.
well, we might as well give everyone out there a show.
san’s movements modeled water, making him the perfect person to test your earth skills against. you of course, could never underestimate the deadly power of water and of the boy you’ve learned to call your rival since day one at kq academy.
he threw his dual blades, waiting for them to return. you barely dodged the attack in time, but once you regained your footing, you sent multiple rocks cascading across the arena, watching as he tripped over a particularly large one.
you walked over to san, pointing the spear at his chest. he was panting heavily, probably exhausted from using so much of his elemental power. you were too, but you summoned the strength to speak.
"are we going to continue?"
he grumbled and attempted to stand up, but found himself unable to do so. "not... now. i yield."
after he said those words, the screen changed.
[match ended]
victory: y/n l/n
loss: choi san
you extended a hand to him, grinning slightly. he stood slowly. the two of you shook hands and bowed, as was customary after battle.
the two of you sat down on a bench, recovering from your fight.
"better heal yourself well before we spar again,” you said with a teasing grin. “can’t be facing you while you’re so tired.”
he returned a calmer smile. “i look forward to another match with you, although i’ll definitely be more prepared. better watch out.”
chuckling to yourself, you couldn’t help but remember your previous interactions with him.
in your pursuit of worthy opponents, not many gave you as much of a challenge as choi san. he was always thinking on his feet, a fast learner, and a threat despite his innocent appearance.
you two were opponents in the arena, but you held a great respect for him regardless. it was through fighting him that you had learned valuable lessons about your own strength and how to recover from loss gracefully, something that he did well.
he held his left hand over his wrist. "ah, you've certainly improved from the last time. keep it up and i’ll probably have to heal more often.”
“of course. i have to improve constantly to beat somebody like you.”
you leaned back against the wall, glad there was a sound barrier between you and the people waiting. you needed a few more minutes to rest, and quite honestly, you were used to san's presence, having run into him in your fights and in class.
this was the foundation of your interesting relationship with him, the feeling of battling until your lungs gave out, shaking hands afterwards and doing it all over again.
you gulped down your water, glancing over at the boy who almost bested you in battle today. it was time to leave him alone to rest. besides, your friends were probably wondering when you were gong to come out.
walking up to the stands to go meet your friends, you paused and turned back to wave to san. “well, good luck trying to beat me again, mountain boy. i’ll be here if you need me.”
he waved back, a challenge hidden in his steady gaze. "i'll see you around."
as iron sharpens iron, your matches with san sharpened the two of you into the fighters that you were today, rivals that held a respect for one another and helped the other grow stronger.
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Text
Demon slayer Hashiras + Tanjiro, Zenitsu, Inosuke, Kanao, and Nezuko - College AU headcanons
Still bored, wanna write something different for once. So here's my take on the demon slayer college AU
......
Muichiro
Muichiro is rather quiet and aloof, but it's mostly because of his memory problems.
But at the same time, he's still a kid
Therefore he wouldn't be in college yet, but I'd imagine he'd probably graduate early and more than likely take a gap year before attending college
If he were to attend college right out of high school, he'd most likely study diagnostic medicine so he can help people get to the root of their problems
...
Mitsuri
A gentle soul, as we all know, she's also able to see the good in everyone in every aspect of their character
But she's also been through a lot in regards to trying to find a suitable husband that can meet her needs. I would imagine she wouldn't want anyone else to go through that
Therefore I think she'd take up psychology with a focus in relationship or pediatric counseling. She seems like she can work well with children (have you seen her with Nezuko in her child form? IT'S SO WHOLESOME-)
...
Obanai
He's the snake hashira, so naturally he'd gravitate towards reptiles or working with animals in general
I'd imagine he was that really smart kid in high school that never really applied himself so it took his counselor really bugging the shit out of him to at least go to community college
So he gave in, applied to a few colleges he was recommended, and got into a good vet school
He works specifically with reptiles, mainly lizards and snakes
...
Shinobu
This one is rather self explanatory tbh, however I wouldn't say she'd go with nursing or becoming a doctor at all
Given the time period of Demon Slayer, a lot of natural remedies were used, especially in taisho era Japan
So I'd imagine Shinobu would go on to get into an Ivy league college to become an herbalist.
I think she would do this to honor her parents, mainly because they were herbalists themselves.
...
Gyomei
Seeing as how Gyomei is particularly religious, and has connections to orphanages, I'd imagine he would want to work with children
He would probably go on to be a social worker, basing his studies to concentrate on working with secondary school kids
Like, yes he loves kids of all ages, but I think because of people like Tanjiro, Nezuko, Zenitsu, and Inosuke, he'd be more apt to work with teenagers
it's either that, or he gets a degree in theology
...
Rengoku
I don't think that he'd go to college, at least not right out of high school
He'd more than likely join the military, specifically the Army or Marine Corps., his sense of duty would probably explain why he signed a four year active duty contract with them
However, while in the military he'd more than likely have an MOS like infantry or maybe a combat engineer
If he were to go to school, he'd probably go on to study something like criminal justice or criminal law, since his sense of justice is also very prominent
...
Tengen
This man would more than likely be extremely indecisive as to what he wanted to do post-graduation
However, because a lot of his breathing styles have to do with sound and music, I think he'd go for a music degree or maybe something along the lines of sound engineering so he can become a producer
Although, I don't doubt he's thought about trade school to become a cosmetologist or a barber of some kind
Oh yeah, he also met his wives in his first year of high school, and have been with them ever since <3
...
Sanemi
Sanemi is 100% bloodlusted, mans will fight anyone and anything if he could
But with that said, I think he'd go to school for forensic psychology
I think he'd be so fascinated with the criminal mind that he'd want to work with them to get down to the root of why they committed a crime. Hell, maybe he'll try and help them be rehabilitated
But in all honesty he might just be a true crime geek and want to pull a Dr. Spencer Ried-
...
Giyuu
The soft spoken man graduated with Rengoku, and went into the military with him. They did the whole enlistment process together, swore in together, even went through basic training together
His MOS would probably be a SERE instructor, he wants to make sure people can defend themselves the right way
As for if he goes to college, he'd probably work towards a degree in psychology with a focus in PTSD, which also plays in hand with survivor's guilt, something he struggles with himself
Oh, did I mention that after Senjuro tapped out Rengoku from basic training, Rengoku tapped out Giyuu from formation? The brotherly love is strong with these two-
...
Tanjiro
He would probably follow in Rengoku's footsteps and join the military right out of high school
I'd imagine him being in the Marine Corps., I mean come on the extensive training for being a demon slayer may not be the same as the Marines but damn if it ain't intense-
If he were to get a degree while in the Marines, he'd probably follow in Gyomei's or Mitsuri's footsteps and become either a social worker or therapist
His MOS in the military would probably infantry, or maybe a chaplain since he's a good listener and can keep a secret if he needs to
...
Zenitsu
He drinks his respect women juice, and he's definitely a bit of an emotional person
However, because of the fact that he did brave through all of that thunder breathing, I wouldn't doubt he'd go to school to be a meteorologist.
I mean, it makes sense since he's been electrocuted by lightning during his training before final selection. So he'd probably want to keep people informed
And no, we're not going to mention the cute girls he works with at the news station-
...
Nezuko
Given how she was kinda, uh, turned into a demon. I would imagine she'd get a dual degree, one in psychology and one in demonology.
Like, yes she'd be a therapist but also somewhat of a religious leader. Taking into account her clients religious and mental health needs, and finding a way to combine their faith into their treatment while not being pushy about it
Because she was transformed into a demon, I'd imagine she was home schooled for a while by Tanjiro so she could continue her education
This girl would work for y e a r s to get her degrees and would probably graduate when Tanjiro gets out of the military, and he would absolutely surprise her at her college graduation
...
Inosuke
He was raised by boars, not to mention he lived in the forest for practically his entire life
So I don't think he'd just go to college, but he'd probably join a park ranger force as well!
His degree is in ecology with a focus in conservation. He loves the forest and doesn't want to see it go so his fighting spirit would come in strong with this path
he'd also get Tanjiro, Nezuko, and Zenitsu annual passes for the national parks because he's sneaky like that for his high school friends-
...
Kanao
This sweet girl definitely graduated early thanks to Shinobu's guidance
She'd probably get her degree in pediatric nursing, seeing as she's extremely gentle and good with kids
She didn't have a lot of friends coming out of high school, the only ones being the Kamado siblings, Zenitsu, Inosuke, and whoever Shinobu has as friends
Overall she's a sweetheart and we love her sm even though she may not talk much throughout the series-
......
And... done! Felt good to get those ideas out into the open, now there are no thoughts, head empty. Let me know what you want to see next!
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olderthannetfic · 1 year
Note
Book recommendation anon here
Yeah you've hit the nail on the head. But also made me question if I know what I want looool. As things stand, the books I read of whatever genre are overwhelmingly straight and it makes me a little sad. I'm not looking for tropey things and yeah, when I search for lbgt fiction that's not what I want either. I guess i just want to find the books that are about gay relationships in the way that gen books are about straight relationships. I don't even need it to be a b plot! The older I get the more it feels that anything I buy in a highstreet bookshop is set in an au in which lbgt people do not exist. Does that make sense?
I know I can go to lbgt booksellers but I don't know how to avoid books that are centred around being gay. I guess, I feel like the real world has moved past 'gay' being a sticking point and I live my day to day life crossing paths with lbgt people just living their lives and then everything I read that's not fic is just lacking that. I know that is largely because of how new it is for lbgt life to be like this. Published fiction is 99% straight. But I guess I wish there was somewhere I could go to speak to other readers who happen to be lbgt but are readers first and for them to go 'oh I really liked this character, he was just like me or my friend or my partner'. I guess I just want background gays? Or main characters who happen to be gay but that's not the story.
Your books look fun actually! I think I'll check them out.
I'm a complete genre whore which is part of the problem lol. I'm not looking for 'gay scifi' or 'gay romance' I just want some of the books I read to represent the world as I see it. I love mystery books, thrillers, adventure stories, I'll read any kind of fantasy (not a great fan of really long series cause I either lose time and read 7 books in a few weeks or I lose interest half way), I'll read historical works. Ones set in mundane real life, ones set in created worlds. I try and avoid stories that are too scary lol as I get really taken in by them, but I do end up reading quite a few of them anyway. I do love a romance tbh but it has to be done well and I've never been able to figure out exactly what I want from them. A lot of men in het romance books are frankly terrifying, and their love interests wouldn't know a red flag if it hit them in the face. I don't like anything that's too forgiving of its characters i guess? I want them to feel real and part of that is them having the humanity to make mistakes but if I feel like the author doesn't Know they've written a Bad Person tm I get weirded out lol. Nothing better than a misguided character that the author has fully intended to be misguided. I don't need them therapised. I do like an acknowledgement from the author that people aren't good or bad and I like the characters I read to show that. I love a sympathetic bad person. And... this is telling you nothing about what I like to read lol.
I guess the main thing is that I'll read anything as long as it grips me. 'Well written' is very subjective isn't it. I want to be caught up in it, I don't want to be thrown out of the story by dialogue I can't follow or an arc which even the author doesn't seem to be sure of. I don't actually mind overly flowery writing, I love learning new words lol. But really long sentences annoy me (very hypocritical I know. My formal writing is about as convoluted as this). I'm pretty forgiving of most things if I like what I'm reading tbh. I'm not a past tense purist and I'll put up with a inconsistent character if I can see they are supposed to be like that.
I read the seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo recent-ish ly and I liked the f/f relationship in that. I've enjoyed Sarah waters books which are historical lesbian romance, so I'll def go for 'lbgt fiction' I just need other stuff going on. I need an actual story, not just a coffee shop au plunged in to a original story. Honestly if you go for space opera at all, you should read a matter of oaths, it was fab. I was guessing right till the end, did not expect it at all. The only thing I'd change about it is I'd love more tbh. A sequel would be fab. I love things with twists, so I'll read just about any kind of mystery. Anything where the narrative is untangling a story that already happened is fun. I enjoy gillian flynn, David Mitchell, honestly I'll pretty much read anything. I get a lot of my books second hand or from my libraries ebook service (this is pretty limited) so I read a lot of the award winners a few years late, where everyone bought it and now I can get it cheap. That said I've never had any interest in fifty shades or any popular ya books in the years since I've been a young adult lol. I mainly want to read about people around my age. 30s or so if it's more of a mundane life story. If the story takes you outside of every day life then I care less about ages. I've read some great stories with older protagonists.
Hmmmm I guess I don't know enough about what I'm looking for for ppl to recommend actual books which is fair enough as I'm massively picky and that doesn't work with ppl I know Irl either but like... where are you guys going for book reviews??? I'm gonna check out what ppl have mentioned in the notes of that post but yeah i think i need some go to places for reviews. Maybe that's where I should be starting.
--
It's definitely a problem. I'm not big on gay lit myself for similar reasons.
As far as I know, mystery has a longer history of including more queerness, though of course, the farther back you go, the more of it is tragedy.
where are you guys going for book reviews???
Frankly, nowhere.
All sources of queer book reviews I've found have been completely useless to me. Only lists of what exists have been useful, not lists that try to tell me what's "good".
I'll google "gay werewolf FBI" and then judge for myself what's garbage and what's at least up to the level of bad fic I'd read anyway. I've found plenty I've liked well enough to read. I haven't found so much I'd unequivocally rec, especially if someone is looking for high quality prose.
And horror of horrors, a lot of authors I once liked seem to have reacted to pandemic stress by taking all of the conflict out of their books.
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wayfayrr · 4 months
Note
I first have to say that since I’ve only played Botw, some of totk, and maybe half of twilight, idk the other Links except for how people write them in fanfics and LU, so if my reason for each one doesn’t make sense, sorry!
1. Twilight - calm country boy but won’t accept being taken advantage of, also deeply cares about his friends and family (of the Links, he reminds me most of one of my best friends)
2. Four - also calm, logical, in fanfics is usually the only one holding the group’s singular brain cell lol (I’m a very logical person as opposed to emotional)
3. Sky - mother of the group, very sweet and loving (reminds me of my other best friend, but both Sky and my best friend can be a little too serious bc of this trait, I like to make jokes and mess around sometimes)
4. Tears - I think he’s a little less chaotic than Wild, I say a LITTLE lol, but idk, he can drive things so that’d help with traveling because I don’t like walking too much, but seeing scenery while flying would be pretty cool
5. Hyrule - most of the fanfics portray him as a very shy timid follower, and while I don’t want someone to dominate me in r relationship, I also don’t want to dominate, I need to have someone who can take charge but doesn’t boss me around
6. Wild - kinda already explained this one, ik he also has horses we could ride but still
7. Legend - his sense of humor being sarcasm is the same as me, I love sarcasm, I once said to someone “my sarcasm makes up for the whole population”, but while r senses of humor would be the same, I can’t see us working that well in a relationship, his abrasiveness is a lot and I’d rather have someone who’s softer and can cuddle with me w/o having to pretend it’s the worst thing ever bc eww feelings
8. Warriors - ik he has a soft side but his very flirtatious and arrogant personality would absolutely clash w me, it would turn me off immediately
Time and Wind excluded bc of age
If u want/have the time, I’d love to hear ur reasons for each one!
🐰
sorry I didn't put up the reasons on the og post, I kinda completely missed that bit 😅 but yeah there are reasons for why I've ranked them as such
1 - sky (literally no matter what au) He's insanely caring about people that he's close to, but can also be pretty snarky and rude. He and I have pretty similar senses of humor plus he's really loyal and honest to people he wants to keep close. (also I see him the most as being ace and even if I hc the others as such it just fits him the best IMO and idk if I would want to date any more allos after my experiences fbvsbfbvs)
2 - Twilight soft! country! boy!!!!! He's loyal to a T and is just so warm cuddly and oh I do love him so - I think he'd be number one for compatibility if it wasn't for my fear of dogs lmao
3 - tears I mean, besides him being like wild but more interested in technology and with more ability to cook? also I wanna help him dye his hair because that would be so fun :3
4 - wild I often get told that I'm him irl (personality and action-wise), so I hope that'd translate into us getting along? I like being outdoors and we could probably bond over eating rocks tbh
5 - hyrule soft fae boyyyyyyy, he's so sweet but I don't think I could move around as much as he does, he's none stop compared to wild.
6 - warriors So, this is more for canon and how other people see him rather than my own hcs (my hcs actually bumping him up from dead last surprisingly) he's usually shown as a playboy and knowing people in most places he goes while flirting with people to get things for reduced prices and I have pretty bad trust issues! I would wouldn't want to date him if he was showing interest in others while with me <3 also his arrogance would make me shutdown and not interact with him sdvsf
7 - four So while I don't mind being with someone shorter than me, I would like to be with someone a close height to mine whether that be a bit shorter or taller. the line is drawn when he barely makes it to my elbow when we're both standing. Plus I think our personalities simply match better to be friends rather than romantically, I could see myself being good friends with him - just no romance
8 - legend Idk I just don't think I would ever want to date him tbh, I see him as more compatible with a friend of mine and that's partly why too - I wouldn't want to nab him from her <3
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zorilleerrant · 3 months
Note
Hi!! I was wondering if I could get some recommendations on where to start with Constantine comics? Or other Constantine media you recommend. It’s clear you really love the character so I trust your judgment 💞
I really recommend just starting with the first Hellblazer comics all the way back at the beginning and going in order, tbh. The first writer is phenomenal! The next couple are also good but after that the character changes a lot and the quality of story goes down in favor of shock value. If you want more recent comics (which will more likely have an art style you like) you could read the Sandman Universe ones that are Black Label; I feel like those carry a lot of the vibes of his earliest incarnations and they're well written.
In general I feel like he's a different character in crossovers and as a side character in other people's stories, so you may want to just avoid those unless you get so into the character you want to track down all of his appearances. (I don't know where to find a list for that, sorry.) But! You should definitely check out his appearance in Sandman when you get a chance, and you should read Neil Gaiman's Books of Magic before you read the Sandman Universe comics, if you want to try them (but after the original Hellblazer is fine).
(I mean you can read all of the Books of Magic incarnations if you want because a lot of that is really good but most of them aren't very relevant to Constantine.)
The Webtoon Zatanna and the Ripper features Constantine, and, in my opinion, he's a very cute version. Although I will warn that it is Zatanna/Constantine endgame and there's a very marked age gap if that bothers you. There are lots of trigger warnings for basically all of his content, but since this one is written to younger audiences and in a cuter style I thought it important to warn for possible narrative whiplash. If that's your central canon people will probably notice that you like to draw/write/talk about him that way, but I don't think it's a problem as long as it doesn't bother you! I like that story a lot but you'd have to ask Zatanna readers if you want recs for other versions of their relationship. He may be more consistent in her stories.
Also, I don't mean to push Spirit World (yes I do) but I absolutely love him as a side character in that one; he feels very true to the early character to me, even though he's supporting cast. I think that's because Spirit World has a more similar tone and attitude towards magic than a lot of other characters' stories. (And many people like the crossover/team version of Constantine better anyway, so you may find that's your preference instead.)
Now, if you want to watch the movie Constantine it's actually a pretty interesting American AU if you read it that way. It holds up decently as a movie generally - one of those schlocky but in a good way action flicks - but it doesn't have much to do with Constantine. If you end up liking the comics it may be fun to do a compare and contrast tho! They change everything. (But there's a fun cat.)
If you want to watch the TV show Legends of Tomorrow then be aware a lot of people have objections to how his character is portrayed. To me, personally, I felt like they kept the important parts and changed the details, but for other people they think different details are important. His couple of appearance on Arrow are technically the same character but don't feel quite the same. (I haven't gotten around to watching his solo show, shame on me, because I missed it at the time. No advertising???) And I wouldn't say they quite made him edgy/gritty (especially given the mood of his original canon) but they did modernize him in a way that has the same texture as the rest of the Arrowverse. I mean I love him on there but that one's a much more mixed bag for people.
You should also see if you can find anyone who likes all the cartoon shows because he appears sometimes and they can tell you what they like or dislike about him there. It's the more toned down/upbeat version of him that happens in lots of crossovers - you can check out the Urban Legends story if you want a view into that vibe - but it is many people's definitive version! I wouldn't recommend starting into the fanfic until you've figured out which version you like or you'll be endlessly confused by all of them. But there's a lot of good fic and art out there for him!
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