#some people are gonna read this and think i think crypto good. i do not. i want crypto dead. i want nfts dead.

[bjornkram]

So the thing about crypto and NFTs is that there's a lot more underlying damage to the disabled community than just the Ape fest fiasco.

It's something I wish a lot of people would take a step back and think about and its exactly what kind of people are falling prey to these kinds of financial schemes. It's a lot of people who have gambling addictions and people who are already in debt and trying anything to get out of it.

Not all gambling addictions manifest with loot boxes and slot machines, gambling addiction can manifest in trading, stock markets, MLMs and yes- crypto. As we've seen time and time again since crypto and NFTs became the dystopian-horror- concept-made-reality of the week, the people who run these schemes are the only ones who make it big. It's not because they've made a profitable system that works exactly as they advertised, but because they often pull in investments by building themselves up as these crypto king idols who want "you! yes you!- to get rich and if you buy my coins I'll even let you in on my secret to success!" They will inevitably they pull the rug out from everyone who funneled money into their pockets under the guise of a get rich quick scheme. And thankfully some of the people who made these rug-pull schemes are now facing criminal charges but it's infuriating to see how many people continue to get away with it with little or no cost.

For example, internet darling Logan Paul made a creature collection gacha game called CryptoZoo using "original art" of animal hybrids as NFTs and the player can use Logan Paul's crypto currency to buy eggs to hatch more. This turned out to be a scam. The "original art" he promised were free Adobe stock photos of animals shoddily photoshopped together, and through further digging by a YouTuber named Coffeezilla, it was revealed that the developers that Logan Paul hired to create the game were renowned crypto scammers who have stolen millions of dollars between them. Logan obviously knew who he was working with and he was eventually pushed into giving refunds to every beta player. Of course this was not for the amount of money that they made and lost, which was well over 18 million dollars, but for the price of the crypto they bought to buy eggs which was 2 million. However there is a catch to the refund! The offer lasts only for a month and in order to claim that money back any victim who was scammed has to drop any pending lawsuits they have against him. He's counter suing his scammer team and saying he didn't know they were going to use CryptoZoo to rug-pull but let's be honest. It's Logan Paul. CryptoZoo is a good example of the way that gambling builds up on itself to dig people further and further into addiction, it's a gacha style game that promises new and unique prizes every time you buy, it only accepts one type of currency that you have to buy with real money, and that currency is an already existing crypto scam.

And people like Logan Paul get away with it in part to the legal grey area it all falls under, crypto currency is not insured by FDIC so if you get hacked and have your wallet keys stolen or it crashes because of a rug-pull, you're not getting that money back. It's also partly because of the "you dug yourself into this hole so you deserve to suffer" stance that a lot of people (and I'm ashamed to admit, including myself in the past) have adopted towards people who have fallen for crypto schemes.

Crypto is incredibly bad for the environment, we're all painfully aware of that fact. But it's not just ruining the planet, it's ruining the lives of people who have invested into it. It's not a victimless concept thats just full of annoying people who can get out any time they want to stop and not be grossly negatively affected financially. These are actual victims with a heavily stigmatized disability. Like other addicts it can be very hard to admit that they have a problem, some of them adopt the "crypto bro" lifestyle around their addiction and try to glorify it to make themselves believe it's just a fun hobby and not something that will bleed them dry and leave them in debt and anyone who tells them otherwise is a fudder, someone who uses fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD) to delegitimize crypto in the attempt to make it crash.

One of the sad realities about gambling addiction is that there isn't really a way we've come up with to destigmatize it like how decriminalizing drugs has shown to help people with drug addictions. One of the measurable effects of that is that the amount of gambling addicts who seek help is devastatingly low compared to those who seek help for substance addiction, and the percentage of those who drop out of help programs are nearly double than those with substance addiction.

"People are often unaware they have gambling problems, even when they report having symptoms of problem gambling. We don’t exactly know why. The impact, though, is substantial. Only about 10% of individuals with a gambling problem ever seek treatment. As a comparison, the rate of seeking help among those with substance use disorders runs somewhere between 10% and 50%. It’s considerably lower than those experiencing depression and anxiety, 70% to 90% of whom will seek treatment. We also know that gambling disorder is one of the most stigmatized mental health concerns. We find that people tend to blame someone who has developed gambling problems, and view them as dangerous or untrustworthy. By contrast, someone experiencing depression and anxiety is less likely to be blamed for their problems. The other challenge is the rate at which people discontinue treatment before completing the standard course of therapy. For most mental health concerns, 20% who start a psychological treatment fail to continue in that treatment. By comparison, the dropout rate for gambling harms is nearly double: 39%."

-James P. Whelan from the article Millions of Americans are problem gamblers – so why do so few people ever seek treatment?

And I in no way want this to be taken as pitting one form of addiction against another. The discussion about drug and alcohol addiction has progressed so much in the last few decades and it's a good thing, we should be encouraging it more! However we should also be including gambling addicts in our advocacy because right now they are getting severely left behind.

I want crypto to die just as much as the next person, but I'm begging people to have a nuanced perspective on the catastrophic impact crypto has had for people who are gambling addicts. It should be proof enough that the online gambling and legalized sports betting apps that have risen in number and popularity since the mid 2010s and exploded during the height of the pandemic now accept crypto as payment options. These are two sides of the same systemic issue.

Ape fest was a total disaster, people were exposed to dangerous levels of UV radiation, thankfully no one's vision was damaged to the point of permanent blindness and hopefully no one develops any skin cancer. I truly truly hope the people who were affected and still hold a positive view of Bored Ape /YugaLabs wake up and realize that they have been taken advantage of and treated as mentally, monetarily, and now physically disposable.

Youre allowed to be upset and put off by the toxic culture that has developed around crypto and NFTs. You're allowed to hold people accountable for their actions. You're allowed to feel resentment towards them for what they're doing to the planet. You're allowed to not like people who are into crypto and NFTs. You're allowed to feel every feeling you have about everything ever, I cannot tell you how to feel about anything! But I need you to consider how we treat gambling addicts and what ableist rhetoric you're repeating the next time people get hurt physically or financially and you think, "Well, they deserved it."

Sorry for the wall of text.

Me Giving a Pressed Conference: our advocacy for the disabled must include the addict, the imperfect victim, those we despise; the right to autonomy and life cannot devolve into a popularity contest

Reporter I Hate (Not Sexual Tension): Does that include all the attendees of the Bored Ape NFT event who went blind

Me: *Blood streaming from my nostrils and eyes* david, it includes everyone

[medicinemane]

"This study says...", sorry mate but your bias is so on your sleeve that I'm not gonna be trusting any studies you cite because the thing is it's very easy to do a "study" that says anything you want, and it's just not worth my time to read tripe that just coincidentally supports exactly your position

(This is about "articles" that have "evidence" that just so happens to align with what the writer would want, and it's for some site that's gonna have massive bias. To make something up as an example, if Atheism.com has an article talking about how this study proves god doesn't exist... maybe you can see why I think they probably have their finger on the scale a bit and it's not really worth my time reading either the article or the study)

(Bonus summary of thoughts in the tags, realized why this most bothers me is it kinda stops being able to have an earnest conversation about important topics cause... yeah; this stuff is worth discussing but we can't when you're presenting evidence that's from one of the most biased sources on the subject you could possible have managed)

[confusedspaceotter]

TUA seaon 4 recap because fuck Netflix

Hi if you are reading this welcome to I hate Steve Blackman/Netflix but I still wanna know what happened in The Umbrella Academy season 4 club, couple things I should probably warn you before we begin

spoilers ahead(just in case you didn’t read the title this IS the pissing on the poor website

I will be very angry and biased because Netflix took the wife and kids i will hate this guy forever I’m really good at remembering a grudge(no hate to the cast tho they did their very best and defo deserve more

In this recap I will go over the main plots of season 4 with a brief mention of the side plots, do beware some of the plot/shit characters did makes absolutely no sense but hey I'm just the messenger please be mad at Netflop for that

Season 4 Episode 1, The Unbearable Tragedy of Getting What You Want(aka us getting season 4 but only 6 episodes)

After loosing their powers when they came back to the main timeline last season, the brellies have lived the past 6 years somewhat peacefully, Luther is a stripper now, Diego and Lila is married with 3 kids, Allison is now a B list celebrity living with Claire, Klaus is sober and a germaphobe, Five is working for the CIA(bro is too busy working to cut his hair i hate it), Ben is a crypto scammer who just got out of prison, Viktor owns a bar and keeps getting dumped by girls(sure whatever)

The new big bad this season is a pair of wacky scientists named Gene and Jean, they are the leader of this cult called The Keepers who are trying to make “The Cleanse” happen, which is just a fancy name for the apocalypse.

Okay so basically this episode Vikor got kidnapped by random guy(I’m not even gonna mention his name he’s just here for plot so I don’t care about him) on his way to Diego and Lila’s kids birthday party, the siblings go and rescue him, random guy said hey actually i'm a big fan of yall if you can rescue my daughter Jennifer from a remote location I will be forever grateful, the group was like nah we are actually powerless now but Five was like wait we are doing this your welcome because he found a bottle of marigold(the thing that gives them their powers) in the belongs of the missing daughter, after this they went to dinner and Ben drugged everyone (except Klaus coz he didn't drink it) with the Marigold so now they are gonna get their powers back.

there's also this side plot where Lila and Five went undercover to investigate The keepers, Lila didn't tell Diego so he thought Lila was cheating on him with some guy whos actually just Five(buddy you are not gonna believe this in like 4 episodes this came true I hate it here)

Season 4 Episode 2, Jean and Gene(they were a cute couple but they will NEVER be Hazel and Cha Cha)

After they got their powers back they went to find random guy but he's missing, leaving a hint about New Grumpson, Maine so the siblings went there roadtrip style(their car also blasting baby shark non stop its not relevant to the plot i just think is funny), the siblings arrived to this small town, Ben was like you know what I’m done with yall bye, when he tries to leave he met Jennier in disguise, they have a chat, fall in love immediately(talk about speed dating am i right), the towns people learned that the siblings are here for Jennier so they pull the guns out and starts shooting,turns out they are all working for deadbeat dad of the century Reginbald Flopgreeves, so the siblings fight with their new and slightly improved superpowers(that apparently drained the vfx budget because the final big bad is ugly asf??? the same show that gives us Pogo?? whatever man)

Meanwhile Klaus was chilling in the car, a fake Jennifer who's pretending to be the real Jennifer asks Klaus for help, then shoots him before the siblings can stop her, Klaus told the siblings he doesn't want to get his powers back and dies, but Allison don’t take no for an answer and water board klaus with the marigold, Klaus came back from the dead, and then Jean and Gene crash into the siblings, kidnapping Jennier.

Back to the Lila Diego Five cheating side plot (ugh), during the roadtrip, Diego tells Five he thinks Lila is cheating on him, Five is like don't worry about it buddy it won’t happen for another 3 episodes (okay the last part was me but Five did tell Diego it’s probably nothing) and Lila overheads their conversation and thank Five for not exposing her GIRL JUST TELL YOUR HUSBAND STOP BEING SHADY *sigh*

Oh and Five keeps teleporting to this subway station that have trains going to different timelines but we never found out who the fuck build this so dont ask me idk either

Season 4 Episode 3, The Squid and the Girl (The plot and the holes because nothing makes any sense anymore)

We start with a flashback to young Jennifer being rescued from giant squid but WE NEVER GOT THE EXPLINATION GIRL WHY ARE YOU INSIDE THAT FUCKING SQUID so we are just gonna move on focus people we are half way though the season shit is about to go down(unfortunately)

After Jean and Gene kidnapped Jennifer, the siblings starting doing what they do best, arguing with each other, this is when Klaus give us the greatest summary of the show,

Klaus then leaves the group, Ben also was like nah fam im out for real and then leaves. The remaining siblings decided to split into two groups, Five Diego Lila went to The Keepers HQ to investigate, Viktor Luthor Allison went to find dear old dad Reggaeton Hargriefs. So Diego finds out that The Keepers have a document about Brellie!Ben’s death aka The Jennifer Incident.

Ben who’s getting tf out, discovers he got hand mouth foot disease with rgb red lights on his hand(see kids this is why you don't touch hands with girls before you get married) random guy pops out and was like bro did you find my daughter, Ben was like yeah I did and I also fall in love with her, random guy was like good good now use your squidar to find her so Ben did just that and rescue Jennifer from Jean and Gene.

For Viktor Luther Allison, they went to a giant mansion that their father owns, expecting to have to fight their way in, but the guards there are like, ah yes master Vikor please welcome in we have been waiting for you, turns out in this timeline Abigail, Rickroll Harkonnen’s wife was still alive and is the one who runs the house + her husband, so the kids were like ma’am your husband is a dick to us in another timeline can you tell him to shut up and help us, she agreed and he obeyed.Now the kids(Luther Allison Diego and Viktor) are putting on their thinking caps to restore their memory of The Jennifer Incident(because dead old dad erased their memory of it talk about childhood erasure)

*sigh* so the Five Diego Lila subplot, when Diego was investigating in the Keepers HQ, Five and Lila blink to the subway station, they got on a train and went to the original apocalypse but five was just like meh guess this wasn’t THAT traumatic pffff I only got stuck here for 40 years no biggie anyway time to get on the train and go home I guess, this shouldn’t affect me in any shape of form given that you know I’m so calm and collected when I first got here :))))))))) yes i'm being sarcastic NO ONE should be this calm and collected here okay.

Diego and Lila also talk things out, Lila apologizes and then says she wants to take a break from their marriage(sure lady whatever

no im NOT even gonna mention what Klaus has been up to, for me he went home to Claire bear and talk shit out with her end of story.

Season 4 Episode 4, The Cleanse (maybe why the Keepers what to make the cleanse happen so badly is because they saw ep 5 and be like nope go to hell yall)

We got a flashback to what happened with brellie!Ben, turns out he was murder by Regglodocus Hippocampus, our beloathed deadbeat dad of the century on a mission where the umbrella academy is securing a package(Jennifer in a box) but they touch hands so bro just straight up kills them both in front of the siblings(bro can we delete you from existence I hate this man with a passion)

The siblings are obviously pissed, AbiFail then explained that it's not her asshole husbands fault, years ago she created the marigold and unknowingly also created Durango, when these two particles touch hands, its gonna end the world for the billionth time(aka the cleanse), this also what happened to their homeworld, and it's gonna end earth if they don't separate Ben and Jennifer(because she got a shitton of durango in her).

Ridiculous Hepatitis then said we must go to kill one of them to stop the world from dying and Viktor is like NOT ON MY WATCH I WILL SAVE BEN and they have a little showdown, Vikor wins(duh) and they are like let's just check this crime scene Ben created last episode when he came to save Jennier okayyy.

The siblings got there + flop dad, Lila told Five hey what if we go back in time with the trains and stop the Jennifer incident from happening in the first place and five is like alright bet, but we cant tell Diego for plot reasons so Imma tell my CIA boss to take Luther and Diego to CIA HQ and babysit them( sis just tell him Diego might be a dumbass but he’s a dumbass that listens smh)

Anyway the siblings split into teams again, Viktor and Renaissance Harrypotter went to track Ben and Jennifer, Five and Lila got on the time train, Luther and Diego were at the CIA, Allison went to save Klaus from the TUA writers.

oh and Ben and Jennier fucks and it kills everyone within the radius lmao

Season 4 Episode 5, Six years, Five months, and two days ( just end my suffering rn)

We start with a montage of Five and Lila being stuck in train hell, unable to find the right train home so they are kinda just traveling from timelines to timelines, they decide to stop and stay in one of them with a strawberry farm(ew), and the most terrible thing ever fucking happend, apprently in these six years they caught feelings and they kissed fucking hell son of the bitch steve blakman I am in your fucking walls I fucking hate it here why can’t good thing last fuck off five would NEVER do this to his siblings this motherfucker spend 40 years and the entirety of season two trying to save his siblings why the fuck would he kiss his sister in law I hate it here

also #justicefordolores

BUT this isnt it

One day he went out for scraps and he found his old note book with the instructions on how to get home, he stashes it and only tell Lila about it 5 fucking months later

5 FUCKING MONTHS

I don't even know what to say let's just get over it okay

so yeah after this they call things off and just went home

Back to Vikor, he calls Ben with the help of dad and tells him hey buddy you have to stop the world and stop your feelings for Jennifer because you are gonna end the world if you stay with her, Ben refuses saying that he’s never been better(sure buddy) Ben and Jennifer plans to run away but Jennifer felt sick so they stop and went to a random mall to hide/ask for help.

Luther and Diego did absolutely nothing in CIA HQ and they realized they were being babysat so they dipped, oh and they also fought a bunch of people in the process which is cool I guess.

Season 4 Episode 6, End of the Beginning(thank fuck is over I’m freeee)

The Keepers are guarding the mall that Ben and Jennifer are in because they are stupid. Viktor and dad arrived at the scene, Viktor convinced dad to let him extract the durango out of Ben so he doesn’t have to kill him, dad said yeah sure whatever man, so Viktor sneaks in the building.

Meanwhile the rest of the siblings gathered at Lila and Diego’s house, Diego clock those cheating bitches immediately and Diego confronts Lila and she finally confesses but before he could beat the shit out of Five, they saw what's going on with Ben on the news and went to the mall.

Vikor got into the building, Ben is now a glowing clay human hybrid(ewwwww

Vikor tries to extract the durango out of Ben but he ran out of time, Dad’s sniper shoots Ben but before it hits, Jennifer and Ben touch hands for one last time and they transforms into ugly cgi clay monster big bad of the season(like wtf is this

the sibling starts fighting the Bennifer monster, Diego and Five didn’t get the memo so they fought each other instead.

So yeah we are fucked, AbiFail told Ratsass Hankercheif shes the one behind the keepers and she’s trying to right her wrongs by ending the world this way(selfish prick) and Reggie said alight that defo excuses every shitty thing you do man I got a really good wife and they both got sucked into the Bennifer monster(your redemption arc flopped btw I still hate you)

The siblings went back to the academy, thinking about what they can do to stop the Bennifer monster, Five went to the train station again, and discovers a deli run by other Fives, and one of the five told him babes, we are NEVER gonna succeed in stopping the apocalypse because the timeline is broken(it's only supposed to be one) and the existence of marigold is what shattered the timeline so we gotta gotta get sucked into the Bennifer monster and volia marigold + durango = kaboom(they will cancel each other out) BUT the siblings will cease to exist(coz their mum got exposed to marigold and birthed them so no marigold no siblings)

Lila and Allison decided to ship their children and family to the train station and send them on one of the trains to create a paradox I mean to protect them and the siblings got absorbed by the Bennifer monster, the timeline was fixed, none of us are happy, we ended up worse than we started.

The END.

hope yall are okay after reading this, no hate towards the cast whatsoever I 100% blame the writer and Netflix for this , fuck them and uh here’s a virtual hug to yall, peace out.

[babiebom]

Would I give them Head (Apex edition)

A/N: I never write for apex, and I might never write for it again but since I have been playing everyday now I have some thoughts and decided that this could be the way I get them out <3 ALSO before anyone says anything their sexuality doesn’t matter this is literally if I would give them head or not and that’s it it’s purely from my pov.

Tw: gone SEXUAL(obviously), cursing, even though these people are male I included Bloodhound even though they are they/them because I am attracted to them.

Wc: at least 3 points for each

Apex Masterlist

Fuse

Yes

He’s a dilf

Seems like he’d call me a good girl while I suck him off :)

Also his accent is great!!

I’m not super attracted to him but am enough to indulge him once.

Ballistic

Hmmmm

On one hand I want to strangle him

And on the other I find his cockiness attractive because of reasons I think I have already discussed on my blog

So it would have to be a really good day for me to be like y’know what? Sure!! Pull out your cock old man!!

Pathfinder

Does he have a pp?

Or genitals at all?

I’m gonna just pretend that he does

And yes

He’s a very good boy and I would give him head in a very friendly way

He deserves it <3

Octane

Yes

Literally I am so attracted to him for absolutely no reason

Like I genuinely have no idea but I would give him the best head of his life

I am so in love with him that his kill quips don’t even make me upset.

Revenant

His kill quips full me with rage

But the answer is yes because he’s kinda sexy

In a “I wish I could bash his head in” kinda way :)

Would do it just to ruin every future day of his.

Bloodhound

Yes!!

Idk what kind of genitalia they have but yes!!

I love them with my whole heart they seem so sweet.

They deserve good head and a relaxing day!!

Crypto

Yes

His accent is cute

But also it wouldn’t be a reoccurring thing simply because wi find him slightly annoying

It’s mostly how people play as him but like

He makes me upset

So I’d give him good head then head out for some milk.

Seer

Hmmmmmm

Maybe?

He’s attractive but I’m not attracted to him

So maybe a friendly handjob!!

Just to be nice

Gibraltar

I have no idea if I spelled this right autocorrect did something before I could check so oh well

But also no

He reminds me of stinky Bo binky and I hate it

No head for stinky men

Now he might not be as stinky

So I might give him a handjob because I feel bad that he is only a no because of stupid stinky.

Mirage

Sexiest man alive I swear

Even though his stupid clones trick me every single time

I do find him insanely attractive

Also because all of his lines are slightly awkward I’m like yes this man is perfect thank you

The answer is yea if you couldn’t tell.

Newcastle

Sure?

I mean idk much about this guy because no one ever plays as him

And I haven’t read anyone’s lore for real so idk their personalities outside of quips and how people play them

But he looks cool and i think his voice is cool so sure

Caustic

NO

I hate the fact that he’s stinky

Stinky men get no love from me

His “breathe it in” like makes me irrationally angry

STOP PUTTING THE STINKY EVERYWHERE J HAVE ASTHMA

NO HEAD FOR YOU

[blazehedgehog]

Given they’re soft rebooting again… what’s your Jurassic world 4/jurassic park 7/ Jurassic animals and also Triassic and Cretaceous animals make life difficult: the movie pitch? I feel like, as fun as the sequels can be, they’ve lost the science parable and horror/thriller elements of the classic - for all its faults; at least lost world has that.

Hmm... I'm gonna think like a movie executive. What's hot right now? AI's hot, right? It's the buzz. I propose a hard reboot.

Crichton's original novel opens with this big screed about a near future where we have "designer genetics." Genetic manipulation gets easier and easier and I think it's said Jurassic Park takes place in a world where it's getting to the point that parents can custom-order what kind of kids they'll have by selecting specific genetic traits. (It's been a while since I've read it)

Jurassic Park the movie shows human beings physically modifying genetic code by hand using VR displays, but Mr. DNA also admits that "a full DNA sequence contains 3 billion genetic codes." So it's ridiculous to assume that a human being could edit the genetic code by hand. One sequence would take years to get right, maybe even a lifetime.

So our story is that we have some 20 something silicon valley tech bro. He got outrageously rich off of crypto and NFTs and was smart enough to cash out early. We frame him as altruistic but around the edges we can see maybe he's not the greatest person. It's suggested he knew crypto was kind of a scam, which is why he got out early, but obviously he was in crypto at all to begin with, which does not bode well. But he's supposedly "one of the smart ones." Now he's rich! And cool! And using his powers for "good." He's beloved in pop culture.

The next wave is here. Neural network LLM Artificial Intelligence. He's all in. It's the next crypto. And he starts a company that uses LLM AI to "solve the genetic algorithm." He spins this out into a financial empire where people can custom-order pets with specific traits. But obviously people with a lot of money start wondering if maybe they can get more... exotic products.

With the realm of cats, dogs and parrots conquered, our techbro begins phase 2: recreating extinct animals. This is a guy who thinks he's going to save the world by restoring lost links in the food chain (without doing enough research to see how that would change our existing ecosystem, since he could be resurrecting an invasive species).

He's going to debut the first of his phase 2 work at an event he's calling Jurassic Park, because he's going to demonstrate the first living dinosaurs in 65 million years. Jurassic Park will continue to operate as a massive nature reserve; a symbol of his control of life itself.

Obviously: everything goes wrong. The AI has never had to change this much genetic code before. It has to make up whole entire sections of DNA. The end result is unpredictable, but techbro is confident that if the AI sequenced things well enough that something could actually hatch from the egg, then it's safe.

It is not safe.

Not only do we not understand anything about dinosaur behavior, these technically aren't even dinosaurs. They're genetic mutants. The on-site dinosaur expert brought in with the press to verify Jurassic Park's claims quickly realizes that while some of these dinosaurs are accurate in some ways, a lot of them have hard deviations away from known science. Muscles that aren't quite right, appendages that aren't the right size, things like that. Maybe their brains and brain chemistry are slightly different.

The question remains whether known science was wrong or whether the AI made something up that was never true.

The question is brought up again when we learn a technician within Jurassic Park sabotaged everything intending to steal the genetic learning data from techbro's servers. Techbro says the thief poisoned the data and that's gotta be why there's mutations.

The security systems fail. The thief has left them to their creations. Jurassic Park as we know it happens.

Since a lot of movies have to deal with this, all throughout this, nobody has phones. To prevent leaks, all of their phones were confiscated before they entered Jurassic Park and locked in a security checkpoint. Our techbro, maybe as a sign of solidarity, even gives his phone to the security guy. We could even say maybe they've been having security issues beforehand, to set up the thief hacking everything before he actually does it.

Anyway, since our thief sabotaged the park's own communication channels, a lot of the movie is about getting back to that security checkpoint, breaking in, and getting their phones so they can call for help.

Oh, and also: all of Jurassic Park's vehicles are electric, too, and tied into the security mainframe. Since the park's whole security system was hacked and disabled, none of the vehicles can be operated. The only thing that works are these little golf carts, but they're small, can't go very fast, and offer little protection. Maybe our survivors try one, it gets smashed by a triceratops, and they're too far away from the depot to go back for a new one. So a lot of the movie is them traversing the park on foot.

As they're being chased by dinosaurs through the park itself, they end up deep in the core of a genetics lab. And it's here we learn the dark truth: there is a wide margin of failure. The recently deceased specimens are all kept for study and learning and there's a lot because the AI fails often, and it has to be taught not to do that. We see dozens of disfigured animals. Bits and pieces of dinosaurs, pets, and even, in one tank... human parts. These tanks are labeled "phase 3."

Not only are the mutated dinosaurs not the work of sabotage, this guy's been trying to create genetically modified people. We have our big "what have you done?" moment of horror. One of the last surviving members of the press is going to blow the whistle on this place. It's over. Maybe it's someone we build up as the techbro's new friend discovering that their hero wasn't who he said he was.

Just then, a dinosaur bursts in and kills that person. Drama! Tragedy!

Obviously, the survivors find a way out. Techbro has to live with his own conscious. Multiple people died at his hands on this day and he had a hand in creating some of the worst sins against nature mankind has ever seen.

(Or maybe we stick to the original Jurassic Park book and he dies just before getting on the escape chopper.)

[asksuccubussides]

What if you were an asexual succubus, wouldn't that be fucked or what Chapter 6

Masterpost of the chapters

'Aight. I told Emile I'd like lost my sunglasses by the balcony so we should have some like alone time now' Remy signed while sitting down beside Remus 'Sooo like what's our game plan?'

"Plan?..Like for destroying the planet or just some casual murder?"

'Girl! For when you gotta go back to earth to feed!' Remy gave him the look equivalent of calling him stupid while making a sound equivalent to "????"

"What!? Prison cells got doors don't they!? If I get caught I'll just go on home to hell! Or I can finally try to gnaw my way out through concrete babbeeeyy!"

'Do you even think you can like feed off a human without like going all killer and trying to eat one again??'

Remus huffed and puffed to pretend to be offended "Uuuuh I'm not a wild animal dude. If anything I should be making detailed plans about how to murder angels!"

Remy tightly held onto their friend's wrist "You're. Not. Going. To. Heaven!"

He pushed them aside and forced their hands off of him "I don't want to feed off humans anymore"

"Oh so you're just like choosing death via starvation then??? yeah sounds like such a totally good idea. Real cool. I guess it¨s more badass then being sent to heaven but it still fucking sucks!" They threw out their arms "There's no other way for you to survive girlie!"

"I'LL MAKE A WAY!"

"Cause your attempt at eating a human went sooo weellll"

Remus opened his mouth and smacked his lips as if he was about to argue back while desperately trying to think of a good argument. He waved his finger around before wheezing out.

"My first try at sex didn't go good either soooo" He shrugged "I mean genitals are kinda fucking weird y'know. No one had told me you couldn't switch genties midway through....Okay somebody had told me not to do it. But I wanted to see what would happen!!"

"Don't remind me. And Girl you're not eating anotha human"

"I won't! You try to eat a human ONE time and suddenly people think it's your favorite hobby! I wasn't even gonna eat All of them! Just a few parts!"

Remus spun around and tapped his feet like he was about to leave when Remy asked "Do you think you can...you want to like....feed on a human ever again?" He didn't answer "If you really can't like take the whole sex with humans thing anymore I'm like totally sure I can like help you..." They rolled their eyes slightly while moving their hand as if to make their point more obvious "Like if fucking a friend is like better"

"Dude I'd rather chew on your foot and then regurgitate it onto the floor. I-" Remus nervously plucked at scabs on his hands, He had already bitten his nails down to the point they bleed "Whatever. I need to go read up on how to kill angels!"

"Should you tell Roman?"

Remus just waved their question off as he hurried to leave the room. He did a big point of sulking and slouching with his hands deep in his pockets and his curls falling down in front of his eyes as he walked towards the library of the succubus quarters.

There was no way Roman could know. Aside from her being terrible at keeping secrets, the worry would tear her apart....And what if she ratted him out to the manager. What if she hated him that much.

The succubi library was sparse and small. There were a few bookshelfs and a table in the middle of the room with a tiny pitiful lamp. The chair wasn't even comfartable and of course the entire room was drenched in that awful white color every room in the succubi quarters seemed to be. The books weren't even categorised in any way!

His eyes wandered over the book spines and most of them seemed to be written by demons. Some biographies and memoirs from the pride circle, self help and weight loss books from the envy circle, a book about crypto from the greed circle. Though honestly most of them were clearly just self indulged dream projects.

The image of a lone demon quietly writing away under the covers at night came up as soon as Remus grabbed at some silly adventure book or short novel about love.

Finally he managed to find some factual books but most of them were about sex. Safe sex, dangerous sex, radiactive sex. All the kind.

All of a sudden it started to feel like something was pressing down on Remus' chests but he didn't know why. It got hard to breathe and his sight got blurry but he tried to ignore it and just keep looking for information on angels but he couldn't find anything. he couldn't see anything.

The taste of human flesh filled his mouth again as his stomach turned.

"Rem-bem? I didn't even know you knew where the library was" Emile's airy voice followed by a chuckle made Remus nearly jump out of his skin. "Have you seen my honeybun's sunlgasses? They said they'd lost them somewhere around here"

His eyes twitched as he turned to look at Emile "I-" He tried to keep his breathing as stable as possible but his voice still shook "I'm- I-"

Emile moved forward and gently put his hand against Remus' forehead "You look like you're running a fever. When was the last time you ate?"

Remus parsed his lips to say that he'd eaten enough but all he could get out was more shakey words before finally gasping out "I'm going to die"

"Please, modern medicine makes a fever hardly anything to die over. Let's sit you down"

He helped Remus to the uncomfortable chair next to the table before jumping up to sit on the table. He kicked his feet mindlessly over the edge of the table while patting his friend's hand. Remus dug his fingernails into Emile's hand.

"You know anything about angels?" He spat out between ragged breathes.

Emile let out a forced laugh "Only as much as any other demon would know"

His nails pierced through their skin "Remy always says they like angels. They think they're cute. Even the wings. Rem gets like all of their info from you, you gotta know something"

"Pff, they don't get ALL of their information from me. I know absolutely nothing about sleeping like a sloth for example! I didn¨t know snor mimimi meant sleep! They taught me that"

"I just need to know something- anything about them!"

Emile cupped his cheeks "Has something happened?"

"I want to kill them....I...don't want to go. I don't want to go!"

He brought Remus into a hug and let his head rest against his own chest as Rem kept shaking. he didn't have to say anything more, in that instant Emile knew he had done something irrevercable.

"I think Roman said he was going to come back to hell around noon so he should be here soon" Emile said while combing their hand through Remus' uneven hair "Do you want us to talk to her about this whole situation?"

Remus shook his head without moving away from the hug.

"Okay...That's okay. We can tell her at some other time. It's okay buddy" Emile stared at the white walls while thinking "...Angels aren't as scary as the gossip makes them sound like. They're just like demons. An angel would have been in just as much danger if they were suddenly dropped into hell as we would be if we got sent up there"

"I don't wanna go"

"I'm not going to let you-"

Emile suddenly quieted and held his hand lightly over Remus' mouth. His eyes darted around as he listened for something. Until he just as suddenly started pushing on for Remus to go.

'Hide!' Emile signed in a hurry.

Remus ran to the corner of the room and hunched down behind one of the bookcases. He pressed himself as close as he could to the ground and held his breathe. From between the gaps in the books he could see Emile grabbing the closest book and flipping it open to pretend to read it.

It took a moment until Remus heard it. The distant sound of footsteps approaching with the kind of weight behind it no succubi had. He held his breathe and listened to the door to the library creak as it opened. Light shone in but it didn't reach his corner.

The light turned into a light hue of orange as the manager stepped into the room. Out of the corner of Remus' eye he could see the tall six armed demon walk up to Emile. He'd never seen them in the same room together before, Remy had always been so sure about telling Emile to not join them in their meetings.

A sick feeling started in Remus' mouth and clogged it's way down his throat until it filled his entire chest as he wondered why The Manager was in the succubi quarters when there wasn't a meeting. He knew why but he tried to pretend like he was still asking why.

"Oh..." There was a surpised tone to the manager's voice, nearly bordering on disappointed "Hello. Aren't you Remy's little pet? The traitor? I thought you would have been discarded and dead by now"

"I'm reading and you a disrupting me" Emile loudly slammed his book shut "So if you could be a dear and leave that would be nice"

"Well I am looking for the angry twin. You should know who I mean if you know Remy. Have you seen him" It was said as less of a question and more in the harsh tone of an order.

"You're not my manager so therefore hmm" The sound of Emile clicking his tongue and pretending to think came "That means I don't have to answer to you!"

There was a sudden slam like a fist hitting a table. Remus turned his hands into tight fists in case Emile needed his help. Instead he heard a low hissing sentence coming from the manager, as if he was pulling the words from deep in his throat.

"Yes you damn do! One word from me and you slut and that deaf idiot is getting-"

"They're my lover" Emile's smile could practically be heard.

Another slam into the table "I am very aware of how hard your kind has when it comes to lying convicingly so you will tell me where the twin is and you won't even try to trick me because I already know you know"

Emile tilted his head "Which twin was it you were looking for now again?"

"You know damn well which one!"

"It's not his fault your squadron is so low ranked. It was low ranked even when I got here. I think you're just putting the blame onto him so you have a reason to let your blatant anger issues out" Emile was laying on the sickingly sweet therapy like voice extra thick.

A loud sound came but Remus couldn't understand what it was. He shifted ever so slight to the left and began to crawl along the floor trying to get closer to the other two.

"If you know I know anyhow why do you even have to ask me" Emile continued "Unless you only want to make me throw my friend under the bus to have a way of controlling me"

The manager lowered his voice "The only reason you and Remy are still alive is because killing someone like you wasn't beneficial! But it's been decades Emile! You really think anyone remembers you. Really think anybody would care if you were killed"

"I wouldn't want to live with myself if I hurt a friend like that anyhow"

"Would you rather live without Remy then"

A beat passed and then a sudden scream from Emile. Like nothing Remus had ever heard from him before.

"NO! NO! STOP!"

Remus grabbed the nearest book before jumping out from behind the bookshelf he'd been hiding. He threw the book so it hit the manager right on the head.

"Boo!"

The manager stopped and turned his head towards Remus. He was holding his arm above his head with Emile desperately reaching out to grip onto his hand.

"I just now climbed in the backdoor to scare you...Bitch!" Remus lied while signing for Emile to go! go! go!

Emile had turned pale as a sheet as he slowly retracted his hands and backed out of the room. He didn't stop staring at the manager until he was just about outside the room when he immediately ran away to find Remy.

Without saying a word the manager went to close the door before looking back at Remus. His towering frame made it impossible for Remus to try and run away.

"You hurt a human"

Remus blood ran cold "I didn't have a choice" He spat back.

"Yes you did" There was no emotion in the manager's voice "And either way violence is not something succubi are made to do. If you were in any actual danger you should have just let it happen. You have known the rules and your purpose ever since you were made! And yet you still did it!"

"Roman wasn't there. He doesn¨t know"

The manager chuckled lightly "Obviously! Otherwise the other twin would have been here same as you" He took a few steps closer to the succubi "I have always been fascinated by you...And annoyed, irritated, hateful. But mostly fascinated"

Remus felt his skin hit against the table as he tried to back away.

"The demons creating your lot has been doing this job for centuries. How could they have gotten it so wrong when they made you. I've even wondered if msking you was some sort of joke, as if they were trying to make the worst possible succubus"

The succubi scraped his fingernails against the downside of the table to try and feel how sharp they were.

"..How about this" The manager were as close as he could be "I could look aside this little incident, the human didn't even die after all, if you...let me fix you"

The manager placed his hand against Remus' thigh and let his fingers wander upwards while leaning so close his harsh breathe hit against Remus' cheek.

within an insant the succubi had stabbed his nails into the flesh of the manager's hand. But he didn't draw blood, he didn't even break the skin.

"THERE'S NOTHING BOUT ME TO FIX!" Remus screamed "And the only things wrong with me is my demented fucking brain and my shitty sense of humor!"

The manager leant back and straightened his posture once more. His eyes flickered up and down Remus "I see" He said in a dry tone.

In one overwhelming dizzy spur of movement the manager's many arms took ahold of Remus' hair and dragged him out into the hallway. The succubi pulled at his hair and swatted with his tail but nothing worked. His body froze when he saw guards waiting outside the door. They took ahold of him in the same way he had seen them take ahold of the oh so many Punished succubi he'd seen.

He kicked his legs and yelled and thrashed his head around and screamed and screamed and screamed. A crowd had started to gather in the hallway, dozens of eyes leering at him.

"I DON'T EVEN REGRET IT! I WOULD HAVE BITTEN ANOTHER FUCKING HUMAN IF I COULD!" Remus yelled while continuing to trash around.

Everything was a blur and the air was thick like oil. His eyes searched for his brother in the crowd. Emile. Remy. Anyone. But none of them were there.

Remus was dragged into the meeting room and the doors shut tight behind him. He fell to the floor on his knees as the guards let him go. His mind was screaming at him to run but he saw the manager's shoes in front of him before he had the chance to.

The manager took a handful of his hair and forced his head back so his eyes stared up at the gleaming eyes of the demon.

"Any last words?"

Remus spat up at him "Next time I'll kill the bastard I'm attacking"

"That's preciesly the spirit you need"

The words didn't really reach Remus as he heard yells coming from the hallway outside. His chest began to ache as he felt his brother trying to get to him. He could just about make out Roman yelling his name over and over.

Even with the manager still holding him in place Remus managed to turn his head around to see Roman crashing through the door. The two guard demons quickly took ahold of her. She trashed around just as he had and even let out her wings in a desperate attempt to free herself from the guards.

"ROMAN! RO-RO!"

"REMUS! LET GO OF HIM!" Roman yelled right into the guard's faces "HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING!"

She tried to reach out her arm and graps for him but they weren't even near. The last thing Remus saw was tears going down his brother's cheeks before the manager forced Remus to look up at him. One of his many hands held the succubi's face in his palm before his fingers forcibly parsed his lips.

The manager's fingers dug into his mouth and his nails left cuts on Remus' tongue.

"Speak no evil!"

The pain was instant.

His eyessight completely whitened from shock as he to his stomach. His hands stretched out looking for some comfort, some relief. It was hard to move and even harder to breathe.

Something was clogging up his throat and when he coughed he realized it was blood. He puked up the mix of bile and blood onto the cold marble floor. One of his teeth fell out alongside it.

In the blur of pain his eyes darted around the room trying to find his brother until seeing Roman laying passed out on the floor. Her body was shaking and her fingers twitching. Remus tried to drag himself closer but the manager took a single step in front of him and stopped him completely.

Remus glanced up at the demon and felt the fear of heaven fill him.

"You were quite effecient when you hurt that human" The manager said but the sounds just made Remus' head hurt even more.

He parsed his lips and tried to yell out his brother's name but not a single sound came out.

The manager snapped his fingers in front of Remus' face "Listen to me. We want you to go seduce a human and then kill them, okay? It's easy. It's what you said you wanted was it not"

Remus tried to let out a confused whine. Again, nothing.

"Don't worry. You can still talk to humans, I know you're awful at seducing so I wanted to make it a bit easier on you"

The manager placed a knife into the palm of Remus' hand.

"Just make the human sin and then kill them and your twin is going to be alright. Easy. You have my word"

The mention of Roman made Remus nod along even though his head was still spinning too much to even understand.

"Good" The manager half heartedly patted him on the shoulder "The human's name is Janus. Got it"

The manager didn't give him a chance to answer. He pulled Remus along by the arm to the closest door and opened it to earth.

Remus was still trying to yell out to his unconcious brother as he got thrown out onto earth and the door slammed shut behind him.

The rain was pouring down onto the concrete creating puddles around his bare feet. He pulled in the handle and opened his mouth to say the code needed to open the gateway to hell but his heart sank as he realised he couldn't.

He was stuck on earth.

Still he banged his fists against the door until his knuckles were bloody and when he couldn't anymore he took the knife and tried to jam it open but nothing worked.

He hit his head against the door before curling up with the knife close to his chest. The puddles of water reflected his face back to him and he flinched as he saw that a single streak of his hair had turned the exact same shade of white as Remy's hair.

When he opened his mouth he realized his entire tongue had turned white as well.

Janus. The name of the human he was supposed to make sin and then kill filled his mind and soon enough he felt his heart being pulled towards the direction of the human in a similar way to how he had been able to feel where his brother was. His chest ached at the loss of not feeling Roman.

He clinged to the knife in his hand. All he had to do was kill and then everything would be alright again and Roman would be okay and Remy and Emile would be safe and nothing would be wrong.

Like in a trance his feet stumbled forward across the pavement onto the soft grass wet from the rain. The college he was in front of was dark and quiet aside from a lone light shining from the library building.

Remus held the knife tightly as he peered in through the window and saw Janus sitting all alone.

[miriamundertale]

da miriam writing masterpost

so im porting my writing/review stuff over from wordpress to here. both are gonna be getting updated ideally so if u hate wordpress here is good and if u hate tumblr yet are on here to see this the wordpress isnt going away

to answer the "why is this around" question. i work nights at a hotel, and its very uhhh, full of free time. so ive wound up having most of the night to either watch stuff or read manga, and its gotten to the point where i think i should probably keep track of my opinions of them more in depth -- this felt like the smartest way to do so.

The core point of this post is gonna be to track stuff i want to write about and be a pretty ok navigation point for people. lets break whats coming down:

Yoshiru Konogi, the Hornybait writer who Fucking Gets it

if youve seen me tweeting ever henjou has almost definitely shown up. henjou is hornybait and largely just a sex comedy much like everything Konogi writes, but i think the standout about her writing in the genre and henjou and its spinoff in particular (Eroko-San on the attack) is that while theres an obviously set audience for the horny teenage boy in both, the target feels less to be them and more to be women, either the weirdo girl whos willing to be openly horny or the failwoman neet whos terminally fucking posting about being horny online. its very different in feel to a lot of its genre and i think deserves some more analysis. done! Konogi is a weirdly fascinating mangaka and at least worth peeking through like this. i also go into her crypto stuff for some reason

The Game Parodying a Genre You Didn't Know Existed

if i wind up making a video out of any of these, itl be this one. this is about a specific game in my horrible side hobby of playing terrible western eroge, specifically those using koikatsu party as their source of visuals. my biggest fear is how intentional the parody itself is, as unlike Yoshiru Konogi's work i dont have an accessible back catalog of works to go through. if i wind up having the creator see and and get some sort of weird backlash to my reading im going to be so fucking devastated. they're very much a weirdo(positive) so i dont imagine anything like that but the fear is there.

Homestuck

Yeah i fucking know trashing homestuck is very easy considering the state of a lot of homestuck fans and the way people were with it, especially since it was for a lot of people a first for fandom (and realistically was probably the worst possible entry into fandom one could get,) but homestuck really has a lot of interest going on in its meta layers and how it is intrinsically tied to the era it was written in. Homestuck and its successors (the epilogues and hs2, maybe ill read some of the bigger FA's once i get to this) have a lot of depth that i feel gets terminally ignored or just passed by from basically everyone who has had some sort of interaction with it, be they fans or Normal People

Star wars - God i fucking hate episode 9

Thats right two red flag series in a row babey. we got some TERRIBLE posting Writing POASTING about to happen Star wars realistically is a good series cursed with one of the worst fanbases imaginable, and i want to examine the overarching themes it has about fascism in detail, but here's the basic outline: the original trilogy is about the defeat of fascism and taking only the best from the past, the prequel trilogy is about the rise of fascism and how it corrupts democracy from within, and the sequel trilogy SHOULD have been continuing on the themes of the original and how fascism corrupts and utilizes the past as a tool to grow its own power (but instead we get the most fucking pandery fucking movie targeted at the worst of the fandom)

The one good gacha is fucking dead

Listen i just really wanna talk about dragalia. maybe it was laser targeted at me with its obvious mmo influences but dragalia was MADE for the platform it is on instead of being extant on that platform. dragalia wasnt by any means the best game ever made but it was easily the best gacha ever made. the loss of dragalia is a fucking crime that needs to be talked about more.

Can we please do a good live action comic book movie again at least spiderman like cmon

pretty please i wont complain about the actor spiderman is my favorite superhero of all time and the last two good live action spiderman movies were the first two raimi movies. i think they realised that with no way home and thought by bringing back dafoe and molina they had nailed that when really it was raimis commitment to understanding the fucking medium hes adapting that made those two hit so well and is part of why im so conflicted on multiverse of madness which i also wanna talk about

One Punch Man

See this is coming at some point i have a lot to say about OPM and specifically comparing it to the original webcomic but for now i will leave it at you should read the webcomic its good

Kyoukai No Kanata the best anime of all time

Kyoukai no kanata is the best anime of all time and im not taking questions

[a-dragons-journal]

Hun, DNIs are a way for people to tell racists, homophobes, and gatekeepers not to follow. It's not normal for a DNI to say "non-kin DNI" or whatever. I mean, there was someone who had "men DNI" is her bio but as an adult, I respected that wish because there's a reason for it. I don't know where you're seeing weird-ass DNIs like that lol.

Yes, because a bigot looking to harm people is going to see a sign saying "bigots keep out" and go "aw shucks" and leave in good faith /s /lh

In all seriousness, I recognize that that is one reason people use DNIs, specifically the "homophobes/racists/etc. DNI" part, but honestly in my experience that kind of DNI more often leads to things like, for example, crypto-TERFs deliberately putting "TERFs DNI" on their posts and/or bios so that people won't read into their content - and it works, which is the thing that makes me not like that, because a shocking number people see "TERFs DNI" and their critical thinking skills turn off because "well, it said TERFs DNI, so they must not be transphobic and this post must be in good faith!"

But also, like. It is super common to see DNIs that are not just those super egregious kinds of things and include things that are a lot more innocuous, anon. And while no, I haven't seen "non-kin" on a DNI specifically, that DNI/BYF culture is what causes people to ask questions like that even to someone like me who does not have a DNI or BYF and has spoken about not liking them quite a bit in the past, and I do think that's silly to say the least.

Again. They have their place, and also I'm not gonna get pissy at anyone who uses DNIs, because some people do find them useful (and not everybody needs to agree with my petty opinions about things, lol). But generally speaking, I personally don't like them and think they do more harm than good, and while I probably didn't need to soapbox about it, getting an "am I allowed to follow you" ask kind of threw me for an "are you actually kidding me" loop last night. I just. really do not like that people are starting to feel the need to even ask that question.

[bengrossbg]

FTX and the Problem of Justificatory Ethics

א. Preface

This is my first chance to get to write straightforwardly on this blog on the topic of philosophy, and while I plan to write a full introduction to what I want this to be in the future, I figure I’ll offer a couple of disclaimers now:

I am probably retreading covered ground. This is a space for me to work out my thoughts, not publish brilliant and original philosophic work (gotta leave that for the journals!)

I am gonna get stuff wrong. Tell me if you think I do, and we can fight about it

I think many of the EA people are wonderful, smart, and good. Many of them are my friends, and I hope we can all engage in this argument in good faith.

With that out of the way, let’s begin

ב. The Scandal

In the past week or so, a scandal has emerged surrounding the crypto billionaire, political donor, effective altruist, and philanthropist Sam Bankman-Fried (SBF). It seems now like he was engaged in a Ponzi-scheme or Ponzi-adjacent scheme, moving money from FTX, his crypto-exchange, to a hedge fund he founded and remained affiliated with: Alameda Research. The fraud is massive, and billions of dollars are involved. The scheme, most observers agree, constitutes an ethical violation on a massive scale.

SBF and his co-conspirators are particularly attractive as a media spectacle because of Bankman-Fried’s political connections (he was a top campaign contributor to Democrats in the 2022 election) and lots of condescending and gossipy reporting on a polygamous relationship among those involved at the top of FTX and Alameda Research. None of that is of particular interest to us here. What is of particular interest is SBF’s involvement in the Effective Altruist (EA) movement.

ג. The Problem

The concern here is clear: did SBF engage in fraud knowingly and with the belief that he is morally justified?

The fact of the matter is that’s probably an unanswerable question: no one except Sam knows why he did what he did, and his motivations are likely muddled and unclear even to him. But here’s what I’d like to posit, it presents a problem for Effective Altruism as a philosophical project that the potential for an effective altruist justification of the scheme exists. If Effective Altruism is uniquely positioned to produce results that even its proponents detest, it (as a theory) is, to put it gently, in deep sh*t.

I’m not the only one that thinks so either. William MacAskill, an ethical philosopher that is extremely influential in EA circles, thought it was so dire a threat to EA he wrote a paragraphs-long Twitter thread on the subject. The rest of that thread will be trying to untangle that, and seeing if contentions hold up.

ד. Contra MacAskill

After some preliminary remarks expression his frustration and anger at SBF, as well as an explanation and renunciations of his ties with SBF, MacAskill dives into the philosophical meat:

I want to make it utterly clear: if those involved deceived others and engaged in fraud (whether illegal or not) that may cost many thousands of people their savings, they entirely abandoned the principles of the effective altruism community.

This is an interesting start, and it makes what MacAskill is trying to do here clear. For EA to maintain its credibility, it cannot be associated with the FTX scheme. MacAskill goes on:

For years, the EA community has emphasised the importance of integrity, honesty, and the respect of common-sense moral constraints. If customer funds were misused, then Sam did not listen; he must have thought he was above such considerations. A clear-thinking EA should strongly oppose “ends justify the means” reasoning. I hope to write more soon about this. In the meantime, here are some links to writings produced over the years.

At this point, anyone familiar with EA should be scratching their head. EA opposed to end-justify-the-means thinking? Isn’t that, like, the whole point of consequentialism? The answer: it is, and MacAskill knows that. What becomes clear as you read the rest of the thread (and its accompanying citations) is that he’s trying to thread a very important needle. Philosophically EA believes that the ends justify the means, but practically it must avoid engaging in that sort moral reasoning. As I’ll get to later, this is untenable, but let’s take it at face value for the time being.

What MacAskill does next is cite some existing EA literature that suggests this kind of argument, ostensibly to show that EA has always incorporated these ideas into their broader philosophy.

From MacAskill’s book What We Owe The Future

These are some pretty interesting selections, and I think get to the real heart of the matter. I’ll start with the end, where he discusses “either endors[ing] nonconsequentialism or tak[ing] moral uncertainty seriously.” Frankly, I think the nonconsequentialism thing is basically just an ass-covering maneuver. EA is consequentialist and near-dogmatically so, that’s just what it is. The moral uncertainty piece is very interesting, and maybe represents EA’s ticket out of this dilemma, but only in a way that dramatically undercuts the movement. A truly morally uncertain person just should not be a longtermist effective altruist.1

However, the first two arguments are interesting. They can essentially be summed up as:

The Hedging Argument: Ethical decisions are made in conditions of uncertainty, and standard ethical principles represent a good method for what is essentially hedging, or minimizing risk

The Extraordinary Circumstances Argument: While there are valid circumstances in which violating standard ethical principles is justified, they are so infrequent that they aren’t worthy of concern.

Here is, as I see it, the trouble for MacAskill: neither of these arguments would have a chance of convincing SBF. The reasons for this are simple: dramatic ethical decisions are always risky, they are always extraordinary, and they are exactly what EA tells you is the right thing to do. Let’s take these in reverse order:

EA is, at its core, a maximizing argument. You have to maximize utility, globally, and failure to do so is a moral failing. This means that to be the best person possible, you have to accrue as much money and/or power as possible, and then direct it towards the most marginally efficient production of utility. One way to do that is to run a Ponzi scheme and give the money away to philanthropy.

When you are in control of vast resources, as EA incentivizes you to be and as SBF assuredly was, all decisions you choose to do with that are, by nature, extraordinary. Sure, you shouldn’t rob a baby to save a baby in Africa, but if you can rob BILLIONS to save BILLIONS, then you find yourself in the same kind of “baby Hitler scenario” MacAskill wants to pretend doesn’t actually arise. But it does.

When you are in control of vast resources, by the nature of opportunity cost, all decisions you decide to make with it (including indecisions) are extremely risky. Not defrauding your crypto customers could mean not lobbying the elected representatives you could bribe into preventing the next pandemic. Isn’t the next pandemic also a massive risk? When you reach the scale of billions of dollars under your control, hedging becomes a useless tactic. Isn’t doing the quote-unquote wrong thing the less risky proposition in the face of global annihilation?

ה. Conclusion

So where does that leave EA, and what the hell do I mean by “justificatory ethics?” Well, I think EA has a fundamental flaw that allows its adherents to engage in moral reasoning that upends the whole project.

This is because, by its maximizing nature, it incentivizes the conditions in which the moral principles which are supposed to prevent it from self-defeat are stripped away. It self-defeats its own self-defeat protection! Now, if William MacAskill and other EAs were simply willing to accept this result, perhaps they could survive as a niche, insulated community, although (as is becoming clear from the overwhelmingly negative media coverage of this entire affair) it probably couldn’t achieve the popular success it desires. But even the members of EA resent what SBF did, they find it morally abhorrent. And yet, they lack the very terms to define why it’s wrong.

ו. Post Script

Well, that’s my first post done! I hope everyone liked it, I sure had fun reading it, and I hope I didn’t make anyone too mad! If you’re reading this on Tumblr please follow me on here, and if you’re reading this through my substack, please subscribe, it’s free!

Moral uncertainty (and its cousin Moral Pluralism) are super interesting ideas and I hope to talk about them more in the future. ↩︎

[euphoricwander]

How's everybody doing? At this point, "everybody" means any one who ends up reading this.

I think most, if not all, people moved on with their lives and are no longer part of Tumblr. I still wonder how this platform isn't dead yet. I'd be devastated if that time comes because I have documented most of my college days over here and shared to the world my deepest, darkest thoughts for years. I've shared monumental and mundane things. It was what it was back then. I totally miss the old days when people write instead of making of reels/tiktoks and exaggerating stuff and clickbait-ing to go viral. Anyway, again it was what it was and it is what it is now.

To be honest I come here almost everyday for a few seconds just to check if people I follow wrote something new and/or gave updates with their lives and almost everyday, I get disappointed because it's silent. It gives me joy to see and read things from people I follow when they share and write something. I appreciate you guys and please know that I read and I listen. Keep doing it. You're a legend!

Life updates:

On work: I marked my sixth year working last July 1st and it still seemed like yesterday when I was writing about it here. (If you're bored and got nothing to do you can find it on my page. It isn't a difficult task because I barely post anyway so you'll find it in no time.) I've been thinking of resigning but can't afford to. I seem more broke now than when I started working. No matter how many influencers/digital nomads I follow say to just quit the 9-5 and try "living your best life, you won't regret it" etc. . I just can't seem to do that. It's just not for me. I'm just thinking of applying for other jobs and I'm terrified. Imagine all the interviews and exams I have to go thru again. Nope. Not again. Deep down I want to leave but we'll deal with that later on.

On relationships: I cut off ties with someone I used to talk to everyday for years. We both have to move on, it (whatever that was) wasn't working anymore and I was growing to hate him a little bit daily but not more than I hate myself for putting him through all that. He deserves better. It's been two months of almost no communication. This is for the best. And yes, I'll keep telling myself that until I don't remember.

On friendships: Being single on a group of friends who have partners takes a toll on you sometimes especially when the topic of the conversation is about it. I hate being the center of attention. I even made an excuse (half lie, half truth) the last time the group tried to get together because 1) I've grown to hate the crowd because of the pandemic and I don't like socializing at all lately, 2) i was actually busy with work and 3) the topic of me getting a boyfriend will be brought up again (e.g. they'll partner me up with our other friend who they all know has nothing there yet they still like to poke or my colleague who has a girlfriend it's getting annoying some times etc etc. I like me single and it's all I've known for years and I'm comfortable with it. Just leave me be!! 🥲

Tumblr, you really are my safe space. Twitter used to be but it's been ran over by kpops, cryptos and politics. I haven't tweeted in six months. I don't feel as safe there anymore. Maybe it's time to make a new one, away from all the people I know in person but it's gonna take some energy and I don't have that in me. I really am losing this game. I really need a vacation. Good night.

[seerofmike]

The Writing In Apex Kinda Sucks And Also They Use Ship Bait As A Plot Device I Hate It Here

a stupid essay/rant encouraged by @zombiegloss that originally started as a youtube video script so if its like. weird at points. this was intended to be a verbal rant SNZISKSIA

basically i'm gonna talk abt the caustic-wattson-crypto relationship drama and how i think it was mishandled and how much the writers kind of Suck because i Can

you are free to disagree with me on any of my points and think that this aspect of the story was handled well, this is just my opinion, and i'd love to hear your thoughts and counterpoints !

first, addressing some things:

i know this is a battle royale and not necessarily a story-based game, so i can’t expect it to have masterful witcher-style writing.

but with the direction the game seems to be going; putting quests, evolving interactions, and comics in the game, plus coming out with a lore book and hinting at something bigger in the future, i think it’s fair to criticize it for lackluster writing, especially since what i’m criticizing has been something present since Apex’s story technically began.

secondly, i am not a professional writer. i’m a high schooler who writes as a hobby. i don’t have the decades of experience that some of the apex writers do, and i can’t claim to be a better writer than they are--but i also don’t have to be a five-star chef to realize that something tastes bad. when i critique something and give suggestions, i am not saying i could’ve done it better. i’m just bringing up what i think could have worked.

third, before i upset anyone , when i say a relationship is badly written, i’m not telling you that you can’t ship it or that your ship sucks. i’ll briefly touch on the shipping aspect of this and how it’s a detriment to the story but Ye

okay, so with that out of the way, let us Begin

relationships are often the emotional core of a story, and how strong your reaction is to conflict in these relationships depends on how the story sets them up. if you want the audience to care about these characters and what they go through, you need to develop them and establish the type of relationship they have well. it’s why so many people cried in the last episode of telltale’s the walking dead. you’ve spent roughly 12 hours bonding with clementine and protecting her, and your relationship with her is part of several story beats as well as character beats for lee. 

when these two characters’ relationship reaches its peak at the end of the game, it’s powerful, and it’s emotional. you care. you feel something, and the fact that you have to choose what to do to lee only makes it more gut-wrenching. 

now, the walking dead is entirely story-based and especially character-driven, so it may be unfair to compare it to apex, but i just wanted to lay the groundwork down for what i think is a strong relationship that makes you feel something when conflict arrives, in this case the conflict being lee getting bit and clementine having to decide his fate.

the broken ghost in general is kind of not-good sometimes, tom casiello previously wrote for soap operas and you can really, REALLY tell sometimes.

this story feels like it should’ve taken place a little later, and that we should’ve had a season to actually set up the characters and their relationships, but that’s a story for another day.

to put it bluntly, the set-up for the crypto, wattson, and caustic conflict is done poorly. for caustic and wattson's relationship it’s a little better, but not by much. 

wattson and caustic having a relationship was hinted at in season 2, when her lore indicated that caustic was among one of the Legends who comforted her after her father died. In season four lore materials posted on Twitter, an email from Jacob Young states that Caustic is acting paternal towards Wattson. In season five, interactions get added to the Game, and this is the first time we actually see their relationship in action, as they have unique revive voice lines for each other. in the quests, when wattson is injured, caustic lashes out at loba and attacks her out of what seems to be anger at wattson’s current state.

Side Note this plot point was really stupid and done for cheap drama because she literally wakes up like two chapters later and they don’t even give her anything to say it’s just suddenly oh yeah crypto and wattson are working together. the same exact injury thing happens to octane later but nobody gIVES A SHIT because again, it’s just cheap soap opera drama.

their relationship might seem a little bit sudden for anyone who wasn’t on top of twitter lore drops, but like, it’s okay, i guess. i’ll give it the slightest credit for at least establishing something between the two in terms of voice lines and stuff, even if for some it might seem like it came out of nowhere.

what did come out of nowhere, though, was crypto and wattson’s friendship. in the quests, crypto and wattson are tasked with rebuilding the broken ghost because of their respective skills, and they’re seen talking in chapter six while they work on it. we’re not really given a clear timeline on how long the story in the broken ghost is, but i think it takes about a week, maybe.

unlike wattson and caustic, their relationship has been given absolutely zero material to work with before now, not even a passing glance in the trailers--which is a little weird considering crypto took down the repulsor tower and destroyed wattson’s home, but. Whatever.

tl dr of the chapter: crypto and wattson talk to each other while doing nerd shit, crypto laughs at wattson’s bad pun, and then suddenly they’re BESTIEEEES, until a couple dozen lines later in the same chapter. then they’re Not.

crypto’s drone gets hacked by revenant while everyone was kind of on edge after the reveal of a spy in their midst, he gets framed as the spy by caustic, anddddd wattson gets upset.

before i get into how dumb this storyline is, i’m gonna talk about the set-up to this conflict.

we have been given no reason to believe that these characters have ever talked to each other, and quite frankly, their friendship doesn’t really make sense.

ignoring the fact that crypto destroyed wattson’s home--which she probably doesn’t know about, so that’s forgiven for now--crypto is a paranoid guy. in the lore book he makes people stand on fucking footprints in his house so he can scan them for weapons and listening devices, and he apparently doesn’t stick around much after the games and nobody knows anything about him because he doesn’t talk to them.

a key part of crypto’s story is the fact that he is undercover and afraid of anyone finding out anything about him ever. him becoming friends with wattson kind of comes out of the blue, and we’re not even given a reason as to why they supposedly became close in the first place. i would kind of understand if like, maybe he draws parallels with her and mila in his mind and it makes him open up a little more, but that doesn’t happen. he just laughs at her joke and suddenly they’re friends.

maybe they’re trying to go for this ‘wattson can become friends with anybody’ angle, kind of hinted at with caustic but not really we’ll get into that, but that also? kind of doesn’t make sense since so many of her voice lines straight-up say she doesn’t understand people and electricity is more her thing, but honestly, she also does have those really friendly elements in her voice lines too, so its not as egregious as what they did with crypto.

their sudden out-of-the-blue friendship would’ve been fine if they spent a little more time fleshing it out, and giving us something to work with, but instead, the story immediately tries to rip it apart and frame it as this grand conflict where crypto is framed as the mole, crypto then accuses caustic, and wattson feels betrayed.

except it doesn’t really work, because we don’t give a shit. for several reasons. 

one: crypto and wattson became friends and then ended their friendship in the same exact chapter. they did not speak to each other onscreen until this chapter began, you can read the entire quest on the wiki and see for yourself that their interactions up until that point were nonexistent aside from mentions in the narration that they were building something together.

the reason wattson feels betrayed is kind of stupid too. why does she really care that much if one of them betrayed loba? nobody else really cared about the fact that one of them was a spy, in fact, nobody even seems to like loba that much, and they just found out that loba’s been lying to them this whole time, and wattson was conscious for that conversation and had a speaking line, so she’s fully aware of the situation. 

maybe it’s just like, the idea that one of them lied, but that’s still kind of a weak reason. 

this entire betrayal thing is just dumb, and it gets even worse when you realize that there could have been an actual legitimate reason for wattson to feel betrayed by crypto--even if it still would’ve come across as weak conflict because of their newly established friendship, it would’ve made more sense than this. 

Crypto destroyed Wattson’s home. He took down the tower and then all the flyers and stuff invaded Kings Canyon and made it their bitch. Not only that, but Wattson considers the Syndicate her family. The Syndicate are the very people who framed Crypto for murder and he’s trying to take them down. 

They could’ve set up actual conflict with these things, and it almost seemed like they would, because Caustic briefly brings up that Crypto could be working with Revenant because he has something against the Syndicate but then that doesn’t really go anywhere and we’re just back to Wattson feeling betrayed because either Crypto or Caustic was a spy and she doesn’t know who.

Weak conflict could’ve been made better by a strong relationship and a weak relationship could’ve still been interesting with strong conflict, but both the relationship between Crypto and Wattson and the conflict that drives them splitting up as friends were really weak and didn’t make much sense. 

It would’ve been ten times more interesting if Wattson found out Crypto ruined her home, the arena she grew up in, and was now participating in the Games to take out the people she regards as her family. That’s where her distrust could’ve manifested and conflict could’ve began, but instead it was the stupid betraying loba thing. why do you care. you just started talking to this guy like 2 hours ago.

also caustic’s whole reason for framing crypto feels stupid as fuck. he didn’t just frame crypto randomly, he framed him specifically because he doesn't want him to influence wattsob because he likes her Big Brain, but this is the FIRST time we have seen those two interact. 

what influence is he talking about? wraith and wattson have been shown to be friendly with each other in the trailers, according to tom’s tweets, and in the story too so why doesn’t he frame her? at this point the audience had slightly more build-up for those two’s relationship than crypto and wattson and a betrayal storyline would’ve felt a little more deserved if still weak.

this is the point where i briefly want to touch upon shipping, and the fact that part of this conflict feels driven by shipbait. 

aside from their relationship coming out of nowhere and the writers trying to make the stakes seem high and deeply emotional to the characters involved (despite this essentially being the first time they’ve ever interacted) tom casiello literally addresses shippers in a tweet regarding chapter seven, and as the story between these characters progresses, it becomes clear to me, at least that the crypto-wattson thing is just bait for shippers, and it’s lazy. 

it’s easy to get away with giving your characters little to no relationship development if you’re just counting on shippers to do the heavy mental lifting for you

why should i put any effort into making this relationship seem believable? people are going to see a young guy and a young girl having bare minimum interaction and assume there’s romantic interest! then i don’t have to do any work, see look, it’s a ready-made relationship wrapped in a bow for me! all that’s left for me to do is give them conflict so i can keep teasing shippers with lines like ‘you never deserved her’!

i think it’s reasonable for me to suspect shipbait, since tom casiello likes doing darksparks shipbait on twitter, and i’m like, eighty percent sure mirage and bloodhound suddenly being childhood friends in the book is shipbait too, because these characters were the number one ship in apex for a long time despite little to no interaction, and then all of a sudden in the lore book they’re childhood friends despite this literally never being mentioned before?

like bloodhound is set up to be mysterious and nobody knows what they look like, or where they’re from, or who their family is--except for mirage Apparently, who played with them when he was a kid on their home planet, and has seen them with their mask off, because bloodhound did not wear a mask when their parents were still alive.

its weird.

i’m pretty sure they’ve said somewhere they were working on this book before apex even came out, so i could just be completely wrong and they always planned for mirage and bloodhound to know each other, but if that’s the case, why did they never mention it like they did octane and lifeline?

i refuse to believe MIRAGE never brought it up either like ‘heeeeyy bloodhound remember when we used to throw eggs at our parents lab haha wanna go do to that to bangalore’s room’ 

[silence]

‘good talk buddy’

ANYWAYS I GOT OFF TOPIC. POINT IS, shipping is a detriment to the story because the writers don’t feel like they actually have to put any work into establishing or developing the relationship between characters when they know the community’s just going to do it for them anyways, and that they can put in shipbait and it’s fine and it makes sense when it really doesn’t.

imagine watching captain america civil war after not seeing a single other marvel movie.

why would you care about the avengers splitting up or tony and steve butting heads or steve’s commitment to bucky? you wouldn’t care, at least not as much as someone who’s seen all the movies and knows the relationship between the characters and why the sokovia accords exist in the first place. you don’t have context and you don’t have any reason to be emotionally invested in these characters’ relationship.

 this feels like that. the writers tried to squeeze this relationship and stuff into a single chapter and we don’t fucking care unless we were already invested in the idea of their relationship (shippers) because we barely spent any time with it.

so to summarize this little section, the set-up of this storyline Kinda Sucks! crypto and wattson barely seem to know each other, because we the audience barely saw them together and the writers are relying on shipbait in place of a relationship.

wattson and caustic are a little better but not great, but the conflict is stupid and it only gets stupider.

moving onto summarizing the rest of the broken ghost, gibraltar and caustic talk, caustic LITERALLY confesses to being the mole and says he framed crypto so he couldn’t corrupt wattson and to appear innocent because his identity was suspected, then that wraps up the season storyline.

season six begins with new voice lines, where wattson has had enough of crypto and caustic’s shit and is all passive-aggressive and going ‘this doesn’t change anything’. she has to decide who to trust, and how to figure out The Truth for herself because she’s not a little girl anymore. crypto and caustic are both trying to convince her they’re innocent and it creates some interesting conflict.

just kidding. it’s terrible conflict. you want to know why?

BECAUSE GIBRALTAR TRIED TO TELL HER THE TRUTH, RIGHT AFTER THE SEASON 5 QUEST HAPPENED, AND SHE LITERALLY REFUSED TO HEAR IT.

LIKE THERE’S A SEASON 6 LOADING SCREEN WHERE HE’S TELLING EVERYONE THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, AND WHEN HE GETS TO WATTSON AND IS LIKE HEY I KNOW WHO THE MOLE WAS AND WHY THEY DID IT, SHE JUST GOES i dont wanna hear it. i need to think

IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH WHY ARE YOU REFUSING TO HEAR IT

SHE SPENDS ALMOST TWO ENTIRE SEASONS MAD AT CRYPTO FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO BECAUSE SHE TOLD GIBRALTAR TO FUCK OFF WHEN HE TRIED TO TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED

ITS SO DUMB

i think it was towards the end of season 6 or the beginning of season 7 where apex posted this picture of wattson asleep at her desk where she has a letter from gibraltar on it that looks like it tells her the truth, so she knows now, she knows what happened, but NOW her issue is the fact that she doesn’t know anything about crypto.

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT IS YOUR GODDAMN DAMAGE. YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT BLOODHOUND EITHER ARE YOU THIS UPSET WITH BLOODHOUND TOO?? HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO PATHFINDER. DO YOU HATE PATHFINDER TOO

oh but she was friends with crypto and now she’s mad that he lied to her EXCEPT THEIR RELATIONSHIP WASN’T BUILT UP WELL SO IT JUST FEELS STUPID. THEY SPENT LONGER BEING NOT-FRIENDS THAN THEY SPENT BEING FRIENDS. THEY BECAME FRIENDS IN ONE CHAPTER AND THEN IMMEDIATELY AT THE END OF THAT CHAPTER THEIR FRIENDSHIP ENDED AND THEN WATTSON SPENT LIKE 2 SEASONS MAD AT HIM FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO . 

AND THE WRITERS TRIED TO RECTIFY THIS BY SAYING OH SHE’S NOT MAD ABOUT THE TRAITOR THING SHE’S MAD BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM AND IT’S LIKE WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT MAKE THAT CLEAR WHY DOES SHE SAY ‘IT DOESN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU DID’ IN HER VOICE LINES WHY DOES SHE CALL HIM A TRAITOR IF HER CONFLICT WAS HER NOT KNOWING MUCH ABOUT HIM . WHAT DID HE DO. 

HE JUST STOOD THERE AND LAUGHED AT HER JOKE AND THEN HE GOT FRAMED AND THEN THAT WAS THE END OF THE CHAPTER AND NOW SHES SUDDENLY LIKE IM ACTUALLY MAD BECAUSE YOURE A LIAR AND I CANT TRUST YOU EVEN THOUGH I NOW KNOW YOU WERE FRAMED I STILL DO NOT LIKE YOU AND HES LIKE YEAH THATS MY FAULT

The Caustic voicelines are stupid too, again his reason for framing Crypto was stupid and a lot of his voicelines just seem to be that shipbait thing again but like from the angle of overprotective dad who doesn’t like the new boyfriend. it’s stupid but not as egeregious as this next part which is

crypto telling wattson his identity.

CRYPTO was framed for MURDER and is paranoid and can’t trust anyone and doesn’t talk to anyone and the last time he did talk to someone he got framed for Another thing and the person he was talking to turned her back on him and actively refused to know the truth for like 2 seasons and then he went This Is Fine I Can Tell Her My Identity

the stupidest update to this storyline was crypto telling wattson the truth

why did they do it on the dropship where there are presumably syndicate members and other legends around.

why didn’t he scan wattson for listening devices like he did for pathfinder in the book.

why is he telling her his identity when he knows she has very close ties to the people that FRAMED HIM for MURDER. Does he trust her that much? WHY? They spoke to each other in a chapter and then spent two seasons not talking to each other beyond passive-aggressive BS. why are you so fucking stupid taejoon

their relationship was so poorly set-up that even if the writers maybe intended for them to come across as close friends who had spent weeks bonding, it really feels like they became friends in a single conversation, had a falling out, and now crypto suddenly trusts her with his identity after an undetermined amount of time because he wants to be friends again. 

that does not make SENSE this conflict feels contrived AS FUCK and the resolution feels even worse and unearned UGGGHHHH

it honestly comes across as crypto feeling desperate for friendship, and maybe this would’ve worked better if that’s the angle they played it as.

he’s been alone for roughly two years, and just wants a friend, and he’s honestly so lonely he just breaks down to the first person who’s really talked to him. it could’ve been an interesting little part of his character, and they could've gone into depth about how much this situation has affected him, but that’s not what they’re doing. he’s still paranoid and anxious and doesn’t trust anyone, except for wattson, because the plot needs him to or else there won’t be any stupid soap opera drama.

and to rub salt in the wound, wattson’s new voice lines with caustic have him telling her that she forgave crypto.

WHAT ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR. ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR BEING FRAMED? WHY DID HE HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE THE ONE WHO REFUSED TO HEAR THE TRUTH?

 did the conversation just go hey my real name is taejoon park and something bad happened to me and she went aight i forgive you WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Caustic’s new voice lines to Crypto where he’s like ‘what did you tell her’--YOU TOLD GIBRALTAR STRAIGHT-UP YOUR EVIL MASTER PLAN LIKE A SUPERVILLAIN AND NOW YOU’RE SURPRISED WATTSON AND CRYPTO ARE ON GOOD TERMS NOW?!

THAT’S LIKE TELLING SOMEONE YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND THEN BEING SURPRISED WHEN YOU BECOME THE VICTIM OF IDENTITY FRAUD. YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR THIS WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE CRYPTO DID SOMETHING SINISTER OR LIED OR WHATEVER. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DO YOU HAVE LIKE 3 BRAINCELLS

this is at like ten pages already so i’m going to just try and wrap this up quickly. 

it’s frustrating seeing this storyline play out when there are actually good relationships and storylines written into apex. i’m kind of getting tired of the loba and revenant conflict, but we at least had set-up to it in the form of a few animated shorts and it doesn’t play out as stupidly as this story does. bangalore and loba’s friendship is actually developed well, even if the point between the end of season 5 and season 6 where they suddenly talk like each other feels like it could’ve used a little more. 

where crypto and wattson having an established friendship in the broken ghost failed, lifeline and octane’s established friendship works because we’ve been told since octane’s release they were childhood friends and given lore materials that indicate they’ve known each other for a very long time.

apex wants this storyline between crypto and wattson and caustic to feel dramatic and tense and ultimately rewarding when crypto and wattson did become friends for real and stuff, but instead it just comes across as hollow and empty. 

there’s nothing there. it’s a case of tell, don’t show, and it looks like this stupid conflict is gonna keep going for another couple of seasons at this rate. 

side note: this entire script was written before the new twitter comics

please tell me ur thoughts and feel free to respond with ur own lil essay

also believe it or not this is not the "shipping is a detriment to apex's story" essay i was gonna write this is a completely different essay that has some overlap SKXISOSOW

[topherfoxtrot]

First Mission

In which the thunderbolts rescue and recruit Emil Blonsky, or at least that was the plan. This idea has been on my mind for a few days and with the introduction of Valentina last tfatws episode it felt like the right time. I won't list the team members here because I want it to be a surprise. Like, reblog or comment something if you enjoy your read :)

The Barrow base is the wall corner punishment of the government. No one likes it here. It is cold, far from absolutely everything and the paycheck is for regular maintenance and security. Which is utterly unfair since besides the big computers and kinda of important paperwork we are also guarding the strongest person on earth.

"Strongest?" Guard 2 interrupted the speech. "What about hulk?"

"Dude I dunno know. When was the last time someone measured the Abomination's strength? Oh that's right, never!"

"Alright that's fair but he's surely on top five or something. Otherwise we wouldn't be in this frozen hell guarding his ass."

"You shouldn't call him that." The guards heard a female voice. They both looked around quickly but didn't see no one besides themselves.

"Did you heart that?"

"Of course I did! Call the camera room."

"You sure?"

"Have you being paying attention to anything I've said? We are guarding the strongest..."

"Yeah yeah alright" guard 2 interrupted his coworker again "Camera room this is easy wing, cryo-cell. Have you registered any unwanted activity?"

"Hello east wing." Another female voice answered, "Everything is fine and you shouldn't be worried at all!" She in a sarcastic tone.

"This is not kyle!" Guard 1 said while grabbing his gun. Except it wasn't there.

He saw a blurry figure approaching them but he was not quick enough. The figure dressed in white kicked him in the face, making the guard fall on the ground. The other guard aimed his gun at the figure but she quicky disappeared again. The guard walked backward towards the nearest wall for safety, but his strategy backfired. He felt hands grabbing his head from behind and pulling it fast. His head hit the wall and he too fell unconscious. Ava made herself visible once both guards were down.

"East wing clear." She said on the radio.

"Alright. Second floor clear as well." Said Yelena from the camera room, "what about the third floor?"

"Still working on it." John answered out of breath. It was possible to hear the shield cutting the air and someone grunting.

"Good!" Valentina Alegra said from the viewpoint where they all were half an hour ago, "Ghost do you have the device?"

"I told you not to call me that." Ava said annoyed, "And yeah the thingy is here."

"Crypto breaking device!" Justin Hammer corrected a little more harsh than he intended to. He was also in the viewpoint.

"Shut up, Hammer." Yelena snaped back.

She met Ava in the entrance to the cryo vault where Emil Blonsky was sleeping. Ava got the crypto breaking device from her pocket and inserted it in the little panel beside the big door.

"How long did he said it was gonna take?" Ava asked.

"Anywhere from 12 minutes to an hour. Remember, the password changes every thirty minutes and there's about a gazillion possible combinations."

"That is so overly complicated. Why can't I just phase through the door?"

"We talked about this." Valentina said, "We want Captain Blonsky to be welcome in a civil manner. And this includes walking him out the front door."

Ava rolled her eyes. That made Yelena laugh.

"Too easy of a mission to shield's most dangerous stealthy agent?" She teased.

"I will only allow you to say that because you were also trained as a kid to be weapon."

"Ouch!" Yelena fake grunted. They both laughed.

John Walker turned the corner and met the other two in the entrance of the cryo vault. The double doors were made of heavy metal. Even with the super soldier serum running in his veins John wouldn't be able to open that. It was projected to contain Emil. But since he never woke up it has never been proof checked.

"How is the crypto breaking device going?" He asked.

"Thank you!" Justin hammer shouted from the viewpoint.

"Still working hard I guess." Yelena said, leaning at the wall with her arms crossed.

John put the shield on his back and started stretching. The three of them remained in silence. It was their first mission together so they didn't know each other quite yet. The only thing they had in common was the Contessa.

The crypto thingy kept making this weird sounds for about ten minutes until it made a final blip and the heavy doors clicked. Invisible gears turned inside out making loud and crusty noises followed by complete silence. The three agents looked at each other with a mix of excitement and fear.

"That's your cue guys." Valentina said. Which made them wake up from the trance.

John grabbed one door and Yelena grabbed the other. They opened it at the same time. Ava was the only one to enter because she was the only one who could phase through Emil's attacks.

The room was big and empty except for the huge cryo coffin in the center of it. It was the coldest place in the base and that made a chill run up Ava's spine. Emil Blonsky was asleep as he should be.

"He's bigger than I remember."

"have you met him?" Yelena asked through the radio.

"Not personally, no. But I saw it on tv when he and the Hulk had that fight on Harlem."

"Yeah I remember that too." John said.

Ava stopped right in front of Emil's frozen body.

"When is it supposed to...?"

"At any moment now!" Justin said embarrassed.

"That's why people prefer Stark tech." Valentina said.

"Don't say that, I'm sure Hammer did his best!" Ava said trying to cheer him up but was interrupted by the loud click that came from Emil's cell, "Oh fuck it's opening!" She said, her body phased around a bit.

After the weird click the cryo made a loud woosh sound while the door opened and the room was infested with cold air. Ava changed the weight on her feet preparing for the speech she rehearsed.

Emil opened his eyes slowly. The bright cold lights annoyed him. He covered his face with his right hand but that made him look at himself. At abomination. Ava started talking.

"Captain Emil Blonsky. Good evening. I'm Ava Starr and I'm here to rescue you. I-"

"Recue me?" Emil's voice was horrifyingly deep, "Do I look like I need rescue, girl?"

Ava swallowed nervously, "Some time has passed and we need you to calm down so we can-"

"How much time?" Emil looked around. His memories started to invade his mind like a tsunami. Harlem, the hulk, his defeat, "How much time?" He repeated, louder this time.

"He's unstable!" John would run into the room, but Yelena stopped him.

"Not the time for being the hero. She can handle herself."

John pressed his lips in frustration but agreed anyway. Inside the room Ava broke the plan. She felt sorry for Emil.

"Fifteen years." She said quietly.

"What??" Valentina screamed, "You shouldn't have said that! He's gonna-"

And he did. Before the Contessa could finish her sentence Emil jumped out of the roof. From the viewpoint both her and Justin observed as the huge man landed on the snow. He looked around and jumped again. It was impossible to follow his lead.

Yelena and John entered the room. Ava looked sad, but also happy with her decision.

"Shock treatment, huh?" Yelena said.

"It's alright I don't think he can simply sneak around." John reassured.

"He's going after Bruce Banner." Ava sighted "Do we know where he is?"

"I do!" Justin said.

"The mission is still up then." Yelena said, "He didn't left through the front door but we surely rescued him, right?"

"I like your positive thinking." John tilted his head at the door, "Shall we?"

The three of them left walking. One of the guards woke up only to be hit with the shield and faint again.

Mission status: partially accomplished.

[sadmistergeek]

hiatus is over

Niggga!!!!!!

Todays date is 11/7/21 

Life going 100000mph. 

My grandma made her transition 

I worked a shit hole job renting cars for a year and became an insurance agent for a bit and both those was trash. Finally doing some shit I can picture myself doing long term and my company actually fucks with people of color and openly. N

ot like the bullshit fake woke companies from the late George Floyd. I got a chick I been with for almost 2 years now but when I tell you this broad will test my patience. Sometimes I be wondering if I should be like the og who came to barber school when I was locked up talking bout all his trips with the boys with his wife at home but smashing side chicks all over but keeping his wife straight finally.. lol what more can they ask for. 

Idk.. fucking covid-19 literally changed the way the world functions, prices have gone up and people are affected by mass hysteria and tricked into doing shit they normally wouldn’t. 

Imma continue to skip the group think and think for myself but it’s getting pretty wild out here, not gonna lie. My day one broski is getting married in Hawaii with the bachelors trip and wedding in the coming months. Vegas and then Hawaii.. I used to dream about shit like this. I’m definitely FAR from rich but I’m def not having to whip the civic around the city making deliveries, thrifting, flipping phones, taking shifts at the baba and all the other shit to make ends meet. I can use pto and fuck off with the boys in Vegas.. I think at this point, I just wanna make sure my mom and dad are good and try to nurture my relationship the best I can from my end. Seems like it won’t last.

 But I’m not tripping, life goes on, as they say. Can stress on what isn’t meant for me. It’s hard to let go though, for a multitude of reasons I haven’t pulled the trigger on quitting for good.  I’m also thankful as fuck to be alive rip to all those lose during Covid it just in a daily basis. Every day we wake up is a gift and a blessing.. I be trying to be more giving/thankful/able to show/give gratitude when I can. 

My thoughts on this are so fucking random, sometimes i wonder if I have so undiagnosed mental illness from that but then again I smoke all day everyday legit, and can get ALOT of shit done. I just got promoted at my new job and have expectations within myself to perform and reach my next promotion within 6 months. We will see if that actually happened but I feel like if I continue to get better at it everyday and always be open to learning the potential is limitless. On some super random shit crypto’s and nfts are the wave and a lot of people will get left behind.. I actually need to do more research on nfts and start making moves bc they’re here to stay!!! 

 Travis Scott concert incident was contrived and evil in every sense. Demonic music and sacrifice most def. I am boycotting his music along with Drake. That shit is disgusting. We will see when I post on here again. I still appreciate my solitude and me time. That shit becomes a thing of the past when you move in with your significant other. Has many pros but that’s like the biggest neg for me.. Feel like my wings been clipped. I also needa read more books!!! Or audio books cos a mf be lazy af when it comes to books but either way. They used to say books would be taken away but these days, for me they be drowned out by useless info on social media *sigh.. millennial generation baby

[mirage-said-dumbass-rights]

A bunch of random Apex hcs I have (I was gonna reblog @shes-fast-like-me 's post but I have so many, and a lot of them aren't really related to me, so I might as well just slap em here):

Pathfinder likes space. Sometimes at night, if he finishes charging early, he goes outside, finds a comfy spot, and just... watches the stars. He really enjoyed the trip from KC to Worlds Edge, constantly being found by a window, excited by how many stars there are.

Mirage is actually just 100% a hopeless romantic. He gets completely flustered whenever his s/o does something/looks cute. He may be incredibly flirty, but in reality, he gets blushy easily.

Also, he'll do hundreds of cheesy things for them. You name it, he'll do it. Take 'em to an ultra expensive restaurant, or to the movies, or for a nice car ride, or whatever.

Wraith has a small collection of plushies. No reason, just mostly for comfort.

Also, she does NOT know her way around makeup. Give her a makeup kit and she'll end up looking like the kid with glitter all over her face from that one vine. (@soulheartthewolf ;) ;) )

Octane LOOOOVES dumb 20th-21st century action movies. The fast and the furious series is his favorite.

Whenever Gibraltar has spare time, he loves doing things like kids book readings at a local library, or visiting a children's hospital, or going to a summer camp and having fun with the kids, or something along those lines. In reality, he really wants to be a dad, but honestly just can't find the time.

Bloodhound has a garden that they tend to often. They have an array of gorgeous, rare flowers, as well as a fruit tree or two.

Wattson is really interested in robotics, and definitely wants to make a full-on robot one day, but can never quite get it right. (think of her interception pylon banner pose)

Also, she's really good friends with Pathfinder. Idk, they both have that wonder in their eyes.

Caustic enjoys medieval things. The other legends are almost certain that they've seen one or two swords, and possibly a shield, in his area.

Also, he and Revenant have a mutual respect for each other. After all, death is their favorite thing. (I definitely wanna make a post expanding on their relationship, expect that soon enough)

Loba actually does give some of her money away. Not to any charity, though. Directly to people who need it. She's the kind of person to fill up people's GoFundMes immediately, or fully fund someone's transition, or (occasionally) bribe a boss into giving a friend of hers a job, and so on and so forth.

Lifeline volunteers at homeless shelters a lot, donating both money and time to help them.

Also, she mostly just does drum sessions for bands who don't have an available drummer. She hasn't been in an actual band in years, and she's desperately trying to get some of the other legends to pick up instruments so they can form a band.

Bangalore is a big gun safety activist. Obviously, she understands that some "civies" should have access to them, like security guards or (very occasionally) police, but besides that, she starts fuming whenever she hears about someone not on a firing range, or not in the military, (or not an Apex legend) casually carrying around a gun.

Bonus:

Crypto is a D.Va stan

[unholyplumpprincess]

I Need It Rough

Here’s for @clefaiiiry for the idea of Crypto/Mirage and Crypto being frustrated and needy and getting his pretty little face fucked like he deserves.

Summary: Crypto is frustrated at a match gone wrong (IE he didn't win) and seeks out the comfort of his partner in a more...non traditional manner. Elliott, ever the most deserving of Best Boyfriend Of The Year Award, face fucks the hell out of him to help fuck out his frustrations.

(Older content)

Reblogs > Likes. It costs zero dollars to reblog :D

Minors and ageless blogs DNI or you will be blocked!

Fandom: Apex Legends

Relationship: Crypto/Mirage

Warnings: NSFT/18+, rough face fucking, uhhh fucking out frustrations?, fluffy aftercare, dom mirage??? On MY blog??

Words: 2.4k

__________________

Loud mouth. Smooth talker. Doesn’t shut up.

A lot of names for Elliott could come and go as they pleased. He knew what he was, and he knew what his voice did for many. Especially his fans. He liked to show off, be glamorous as he pleased. But, most importantly, he liked how his voice made a certain someone squirm.

Crypto had been a new legend added to the roster through unforeseen challenges. In fact, Elliott is sure they hadn’t even BEEN seen. Regardless, he’d been welcomed into the top Legends crew like one of their own. Even if there was some curiosity about how he even got there.

It took a little while to break through any of his layers. Even Elliott, who came off as the most least feared of them all, couldn’t quite crack his hard exterior easily. Because even if he came off friendly and inviting, Crypto had made it clear that Elliott was just as to be feared as any other legend. He was there for a reason. His smile and laugh were not the reasons his kill count was so high.

~Rest under the cut~

Becoming partners- now that was even unforeseen by Crypto. He had no interest in finding a partner, let alone falling for another legend. That in itself was dangerous, it drew too much attention. The media curious about who had Elliott all lovestruck.

Thankfully, Elliott could keep his mouth shut sometimes. Kept it a mystery. Some people speculated it to be the ever-fearsome Bloodhound, some even guessed at Wraith but when he chuckled and lightly brushed it off that theory was shot down entirely.

Crypto smirked every time he saw headlines. ‘WHO IS DATING THE LOUD MOUTH LEGEND?’ Tempting enough to reveal himself, almost.

Almost.

No one expected it to be Crypto. Why would they? He was a stranger in their midst, yet an enigma easier to solve than Bloodhound, he had a pretty face. It made it easier to climb the ranks of popularity online, something he still kept tabs on even if he didn’t run the drones streaming the game live for others now.

His mother would be proud knowing he’d landed her favorite. Elliott ‘Mirage’ Witt. However, he kept that out of the letters. No need for more exposure and concern.

When it came down to it, Elliott was a lover of higher expectations. At least for Crypto, who had been used to the idea of loving someone coming with a price. It did, but telling little bits about himself and going slow was not too bad of a price. Especially when Elliott was all smiles, dimples, and a smooth voice telling him that of course they could go slow.

It didn’t affect their work in the matches either. Whether against one another or on a squad, there was no hinderance.

Except, of course, when Crypto found himself in the top five. Edging closer to the sweet taste of victory only to fall to a newcomer who was keen on focusing the hacker down. A few shots to the back and a familiar pain only to find himself awake in the med bay with the words ‘SQUAD ELIMINATED’ on the screen in front of him.

It meant frustration. It meant need. It meant desires he couldn’t handle until they became too much and he’d rather scream or be used.

The latter was more appealing.

The dorms set up on this planet were nice. It was like a little community for the more experienced legends and those newcomers from all over who wanted to participate in the blood sport and work their way up to being champions. The qualifications for it all were something Crypto was glad he didn’t have to go through.

Elliott’s dorm is much like his room on the dropship when they were all being sent to Talos. It’s covered in fanart of himself in the living room, his color scheme most prominent here. There’s a few cardboard cutouts from various sponsors, different gear to promo, his kitchen has quite a few drinks and mixing tools for said drinks, something that makes Crypto smile a bit when entering. Elliott wanted to take his bar with him, essentially.

Rolling his neck and shoulders, Crypto sets about shrugging out of his coat, folding it neatly onto the couch. He’d come straight from the med bay. Stressed and frustrated. Knowing that Elliott was going to do an interview after meant that he had time alone to think. Best do it in Elliott’s dorm which felt like home.

Having long since abandoned his shoes at the doorway, he’s left in his tight black pants, matching shirt, and jewelry. Running a hand through his hair and letting out a low groan of frustration before fishing his phone from his pocket. It was wiped of any data, wiped of anything except one number that embarrassingly had a little gold heart next to the name ‘Idiot’.

He hesitates on texting him. Elliott loved the limelight, loved the glory, the cameras, and most importantly loved the afterglow of a match well done. Crypto feels himself hesitate, feeling almost selfish for asking him to come now.

It took awhile to work him out of his shell. With lots of kisses to his knuckles and Elliott promising that he was more important. He finally works up the urge to hit send and is relieved when it is read not 30 seconds after.

It takes five minutes of waiting. Five minutes of patient waiting.

At some point Crypto had gone to the bedroom. Setting a pillow on the floor and dropping to his knees onto it. Waiting patiently near Elliott’s bed as his head bowed, ears perked and waiting for the sound of the door to click open.

He hears Elliott laughing before he hears the door. Hearing his voice call out, “Yeah! We’ll get drinks later, kay? I’m gonna rest for a bit!” All chipper and cheerful before the door slides shut and the lock is clicked into place.

Crypto swallows thickly. Letting his tongue wet his lips as he keeps his head down.

He hopes he looks good, in the back of his mind. Legs splayed out just so on the pillow to outline his lower body. Hands resting on his thighs and head bowed. Showing off his body, trying to look inviting and not like he was digging his nails into his pants in frustration. Need.

He’s in tune with the sound of boots. The sound of gear being tugged off in a not-so-hurried pace. He nearly snarls, but he waits. Just be patient, fall into your space, relax. He tries to encourage himself like Elliott might, but it isn’t the same.

When Elliott finally comes into the room, he’s dressed in his boots and pants. Everything else tossed off and his curls left down from his goggles. Crypto raises his head to look up at him, steeling his jaw and feeling the metal of his jawline seem to heat up with his body.

Elliott looked a pretty picture. Eyes soft, a smile on his lips that read cocky but the dimples gave him that charming look, and a glisten of sweat about his skin. His torso is exposed, toned and fit with a dark happy trail leading from pierced navel down into his pants. Gold adorns his pecs from piercings through his nipples and Crypto longs to tongue at them.

“Hey, beautiful,” Elliott coos softly. As if calming a feral kitten. Carefully coming over one step at a time until Crypto’s shoulders relax, falling just as Elliott’s warm, calloused fingers cup his cheek. “Look at you. Already ready, huh?”

Crypto hums in response, soft and almost irritated. Nuzzling at his palm and nipping at his fingertips until Elliott nudges his thumb at his full lips. Crypto accepts, suckling on the digit and fluttering his eyes open halfway to look up at him.

Dark brown eyes look back down at him with an intensity that leaves him shuddering. “There you go, baby.” Spoken softly, almost possessively as he presses his thumb down onto Crypto’s tongue. Forcing his lips to part and drool to threaten to spill.

“God, can’t wait to ruin your pretty little mouth.” Elliott murmurs, as if to himself if he didn’t smear the saliva onto Crypto’s lips with his thumb. Wetting them as he pulls his hand back to begin working at his fly.

Crypto grunts, turning his head as if he was going to be difficult. A bratty scenario, trying to make Elliott rougher. It works like a charm when one hand winds in his hair, yanking his head back to face the trickster. He exhales sharply through his nose at the sudden pain, hissing as he’s come face to face with Elliott’s cock.

One hand in Crypto’s hair, the other wrapped around the base of his cock and lazily stroking, he looks quite the picture. Crypto tries to avoid eye contact, turning his gaze with another huff only to get Elliott to gently smack his cheek with his cock. “Come on, baby boy, open that sweet mouth up. You w-want to text me all urg- urging- ugh- in a hurry? You’re going to get it.”

Crypto almost smiles at the stutter. Watching Elliott squint his eyes for just a moment to focus on getting out of the tick. He normally could keep his voice controlled in moments like this, but if he focused too hard on sounding smooth, it came out harder. Just like that.

So he does smile, a bit more of a smirk. Eyes flickering up to meet Elliott’s, challenging him.

“Fine.” Elliott hums in response.

Fingers twist and yank Crypto’s hair fluidly. It makes him gasp out, lips parting enough for Elliott to slide the head of his cock in without risk of biting. “See? That so hard?” He coos out, watching as Crypto’s fingers scramble at his own thighs before he reaches up to hold onto Elliott’s instead.

It’s smooth sailing from there as Crypto gives into soft treatment.

The rough hand in his hair turns to soft pets. Stroking his hair back from his face by warm fingers. Another hand cups underneath Crypto’s jaw, stroking with a thumb at where metal meets flesh. Carefully feeding him inch after inch of Elliott’s cock.  

A beautiful thing, if you asked Crypto. Elliott was about seven inches, a nice size without being too thick or too much with an upwards lean. Some freckles dotting the base where he kept the curls there trimmed and tidy. The head was almost a supple red when aroused, peeking from foreskin that made it glisten and shiny if it wasn’t just from Crypto’s saliva.

It’s with trained practice he relaxes his throat. Fingers flexing on Elliott’s thighs and humming in discomfort at first. “Shh, you got this, baby. Take your time.” Elliott speaks so softly. Still petting at his hair and moving the hand from his jawline to rest in his hair as well to massage at his scalp.

It does the trick. And only in a few moments does his nose press to Elliott’s pelvis. Allowing him to take deep, slow breathes and inhale his scent as his fingers grip tight to his pants.

“Look atcha’, babe. Fuck- wish you could see how you look right now. Such a good boy.” Elliott sighs out, gently rocking his hips to get used to the wet tightness of his throat. How Crypto’s teeth scrape along sensitive flesh without biting.

Crypto, in turn, looks up at him with this sort of lazy submission in his eyes. Humming in response to being told he’s good as his hair is pet behind his ears and his temples given a soft massage with thumbs.

It was a warning. He always knew it was. Knew when to force himself to not focus too hard on it as Elliott slowly pulls out before pushing back in with a low moan that sets Crypto’s skin alight from how good he sounds.

It’s repeated. The same motion. Until Elliott can go faster. Until he’s truly face fucking him and Crypto’s hands no longer plead and scrape at his thighs, rather just holding onto him for dear life as he feels him press into his throat again and again.

When he becomes light headed, Elliott pulls out. Keeping the head on Crypto’s tongue that lolls out as he takes needy breaths. Pressing sloppy, wet kisses over the head and shaft with a hoarse, “Please-” Whining from his throat until Elliott takes him again and uses his mouth just like a toy.

Elliott is full of it. Full of that smooth talking, loud mouth that people don’t get to see. “You look so good, sweetheart.”

“Fuck, just like that Crypto-”

“What a good boy. You look so beautiful on your knees.”

“Bet you’d cum on my boots if I’d let you.”

He’s full of it, praise and dirty talk. Crypto’s too hot in his own pants, trying to grind against nothing for friction. The taste and scent being too much- it's all too much to his sensors.

Elliott shoves in one last time, grabbing Crypto’s hair and keeping him down on his cock. “Swallow.” He pants out, a whiny moan leaving him as he cums. A beautiful noise to match his furrowed expression. Curls hanging in his face as his fingers shaky even as they pet Crypto’s hair as the man swallows every drop. Even if he does make a small face at the taste.

There’s a pause as Elliott lets Crypto milk him dry with small lavishes of his tongue and soft suckles. Slowly pulling out and letting him lick at the head like nothing more than an obedient pup until Elliott laughs softly, breathily.

Dropping onto his knees, Elliott cups his jaw, bringing him in for a deep kiss. Tongue exploring and licking over Crypto’s tongue in reply. Tasting himself as both men moan in reply to the feeling until Elliott parts with a wet sound.

Crypto’s eyes are glassy, lips parted and flushed just like his cheeks. His pants are straining, his hips canting into nothing as Elliott brings him into an embrace. Caressing his hair and his back, petting over his skin until he calms down enough to nose into Elliott’s neck and come down.

“Thank you,” He murmurs out, voice hoarse and shaky. Nosing just below Elliott’s ear until his partner pulls him back to place a soft kiss on both cheeks, then his forehead.

“You’re welcome...Let me take care of you this time around?” Elliott murmurs too sweetly, nuzzling their noses together as if he didn’t just face fuck him into a stupor.

How could he say no?

[wolf-stark]

You ask I deliver — both tfatws asks in one!

tfatws weekly ask 1

i finally saw ep1!! i wont be able to see ep2 until thursday at the earliest but i already have some Thots on this ep. here are the ones I remember

first is, and i'm so sorry for this, a grammar lesson. an appositive is when you stick an additional phrase in between commas, dashes, or the like. i actually just used one! the "and i'm so sorry for this" in the first sentence of this paragraph is an appositive. thing is, most english speakers don't normally use them when they speak, only in writing. so i'm always on high alert whenever i hear somebody in tv or movies use one. (it's generally a marker of bad screenwriting). anyway there was one right in the beginning of the episode. the white army guy yelling at sam wilson said "first lieutenant Torres, our intel officer, will be helping on the ground." yeah so. the writing of this series started out on the wrong foot for me. but the rest of the episode was obviously tons and tons better (every interview i see with malcolm spellman makes me love him more and more)

the contrast between the opening minutes (falcon action sequence) and the rest of the ep.... i would 100000/10 rather watch a series with just sam and bucky dealing with life. i dont give a single crap about the flag-smashers or any of that. i just want sam, sarah & fam getting their boating business back on the ground & yeeting racist dickwads, bucky going through therapy and making amends, sam and joaquin being bros, sambucky homoerotic tension, etc.

the cinnamontography! wandavision mostly used cinematography to signify era n stuff. tfatws doesn't have wv's premise to go off of, so here's some tricks i noticed:

with sam there's obviously all sorts of shots with the captain america iconography next to his face, but he hasn't totally claimed it. there's the mural of steve rogers in the background; there's sam staring into the shield like it's a spectre of steve's face; there's sam looking into the exhibit, the shield and sam separated by glass and a layer of camera focus. steve is a constant spectre, always there, an idea, a symbol himself. sam's relationship with this iconography is distanced. he is separated by glass exhibit walls. by painting canvases. he doesn't yet feel worthy to take on that iconography. this whole thing was pulled off quite well but also a bit on-the-nose if only in quantity. there's just sooooo much fancy iconography stuff

speaking of the exhibit, there's something that i get real pissy about. it's when like, there's an action going on you're supposed to be paying attention to but the cinematographer is like,,,, hey! check out this location! or this headline! or something! there was a lot of that in the exhibit. the camera was like, you could focus on sam and rhodey's convo (which was fine but could have been so much better with an extra like 10 minutes of deep character study talk) but noooo you want me to look at the symbol for the united nations and read all the text about bucky who hasn't even showed up yet. shut up i know the lore and ill watch the shot-by-shot breakdown yt vids you don't have to make the shot this long jkdsalcjklasejf

my fav trick was with bucky and the therapist. i had seen a clip of the scene with bucky and the therapist beforehand and i thought the cinnamontography was super obnoxious, but then i was like, oh duh. the shots frequently change the distance between the camera and its subject. sometimes it's uncomfortably close and sometimes it's really far. a clear allegory for the duality of therapy, esp for bucky! therapy is an invasive process wherein he is ruthlessly examined, picked apart, and berated for his trauma (this therapist is crap in every way btw, "mean therapist" works for greg house and greg house only). so the camera goes close. it makes the viewer claustrophobic like bucky. but when he's like "no i haven't had any nightmares" the camera suddenly goes really far. we see bucky as this tiny head in the center of the bottom of the frame. we are distanced from him. he has pushed us away. we cannot see him. he lies because he is vulnerable. so yeah, amazing work there. the therapy scene was hard to watch on purpose!

did bucky slip a note to yori inside the dollar bill? bucky stop making me emooooo. the suuper awkward fake smile has me 😭 (veteran trying to adjust!)

mark my worrrrds when sam asks someone y the govt picked john “white bread” walker they’re gonna say “we needed somebody everyone can get behind....someone uncontroversial, someone everyone can see themselves in” like that exact racist dog whistle

tfatws weekly ask 2

just saw ep2 so im taking advantage of the 2 seconds i can be on tumblr without worrying about tfatws spoilers before new episode drops

when isaiah said "your people put me in prison for being a hero" and bucky thought "your people" means hydra. 🤦‍♂️

speaking of racism, the interplay between sam being Black (anti-Black racism) and sam being the Falcon (negrophilia, "can i take a selfie w you as i deny you a loan?") and the intersection between the two (j*hn lichrally called sam "steve's wingman"! he takes the crypto out of crypto-racist in like 2 seconds!) !!!!!!!! a Black celebrity's Black experience, the separation of man and identity!!!! (thinking about vanessa bayer in snl in that skit "beyonce is black" telling her black friend "you're not black, you're...my girl!")

after sam gets racially profiled by cops we see j*hn standing in front of cop cars cinematic parallels turns out j*hn is racist who knew

this therapist sucks major ass but she got bucky and sam together in the same room and ready to collaborate...that's something ig. it was lichrally couple's therapy she said she used her miracle exercise with couples sambucky antis get blended

bucky says "he was wrong about you so maybe he was wrong about me"...that's not how people talk. when therapist asks bucky, the guy who doesn't talk at all about himself, "y do you hate sam", the last thing bucky's gonna do is actually connect his hatred of sam to his own self-worth issues. bucky generally refuses to talk about himself, so why would he talk about himself in the one context that nobody ever links back to their own neuroses: hatred of other people? one thing human beings hate most is admitting we're wrong. admitting you hate someone because of your own issues? that's a major therapeutic step. bucky would absolutely have to be prompted to do that. even like one or two lines of dialogue more would have set up that line better. but in terms of the actual thought? an amazing way to take the sam/bucky relationship. bucky bases his self-worth on steve believing in him, and if steve is wrong bucky has no self-worth, so 1) he has to develop self-worth disassociated from steve's assessment of him and 2) he has to love himself before he can love sam, and 3) he has to realize that sam giving up the shield is a sign of sam's humility not his unworthiness.

conversely, we don't get into why sam hates bucky? yeah sam has the right to hate a guy that has tried to kill him (albeit while brainwashed) multiple times, and now shows up in his life just to bash him but. everything happens so fast i cant follow their relationship

in fact i dont feel like i understood much of anything. like y did bucky and sam go on that mission together? how connected are sam/bucky/joaquin with the government? doesn't bucky just want to retire now? literally what is everyone doing/feeling and why???

if battlestar becomes a knowing commentary on the black best friend stereotype i'm gonna party, but i dont expect much of that

the interplay between man and symbol. captain america is obviously a symbol. the shield is obviously a symbol. but steve rogers? the. man behind the cowl? he too seems to become a symbol. a paragon of a good guy, so good he's unreachable. steve was just a guy stop idolizing him the last thing steve would want is to be idolized

as the resident musician/music nerd on mcublr, 1) that captain america rally music slaps, but 2) re: the song at the end of the ep, if you're just gonna rip off mozart's lacrymosa then at least play mozart's lacrymosa. we wont blame you the lacrymosa slaps (if you dont know what im talking about go on yt and search it up youll recognize it fo sho

look i love enfys nest as much as the next guy but if tfatws is gonna get erin kellyman to play another innocent little gurl blackmailed into the fakeout-villain position (her text seemed to suggest as such) then 😡 like why can't women just....be evil? young, freckly, innocent-looking women? girls are not untouchable pure objects but full of rage and resentment just as much as anyone can be

bonus ep1 comment: bucky says about that senator whose car he hijacked, "she continued to abuse the power i gave her." fictionaldarling on yt say that he says "i" because he can't disassociate himself from his winter soldier persona which begets endless and senseless guilt. like dude. can i not be emo for like 1 second.

OKay. First off, as much I enjoy your sending it to me, what made you decide to send me these??

-

TFATWS WA #1

Don't worry about getting this to me as early as possible. I usually don't watch the episode right away.

1. Cool writing lesson.

2. Everyone wants a comedy show [like Friends] about the MCU superheroes.

3. Cinematography is always a beautiful thing.

4. Sam definitely has to carve his own Captain America status for himself, outside of Steve's ya know everything.

5. They have to do that for people who was just now tuning in because they're in love with Sam Wilson or Sharon Carter.

6. I think the therapist was taking a 'tough love' approach for Bucky, because she likely has some very strong opinions about the literal assassin she's been assigned to give therapy too. She did not choose to talk to him, she was assigned that make that clear in the second episode.

And, Bucky isn't lying when he said it wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare, it was a resurfaced memory. So, technically he wasn't lying - and yes, the camera does move away because while he's saying he didn't have a nightmare, he's not expanding on what actually happened - so, he's still pushing the therapist/us away.

7. Bucky, and Steve, have/had a TON to adjust to.

8. Yeah, I agree that will be the bullshit line they give. If they ever actually talk about it.

TFATW WA #2

Yeah, always got to take advantage of avoiding those spoilers lmfaoo.

1. Honestly, that line was double meaning. Both about White people and Hydra [which is made up of mostly white supremacists/nazis] So, the line is gesturing to both White People in general and Hydra assholes together. I think the terminology is “double edge sword”??

2. This whole paragraph structure confused me, ngl - so I'm going to answer it the best I can. I do like that they're not ignoring the fact that Sam being Black is 1000% the reason he's not the Official Captain America - because the gov't is racist as hell.

I also like the little lines about how they point out little things about Sam's Falcon persona, like that kid calling him 'Black Falcon' specifically and Sam's response show the split between Sam and Falcon itself.

John is a dick for calling Sam the wingman of Steve Rogers. Sam was a hero all on his own before Steve asked him to join up again. [Side note, it's lichrally??]

3. Exactly, the parallel of Sam being profiled and surrounded while just on the street and John being surrounded by fans and being able to spring Bucky with apparently only a few sentences shows a Loooooot

4. Honestly, at this point I wonder if she's not actually a therapist and is just an agent assigned to assess Bucky outside of an Official Building. I do know, however, that her 'look at each other and speak' exercise is actually a real therapy practice. It's just a little slower.

5. Actually, I think he would've blurted that out. That whole line. I don't think Bucky hates Sam. I think they could've done the scene better, but I think that had Sam prodded him/the therapist been more annoying Bucky would've lost control of his emotions and blurted out the whole "If he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me" but I feel like the writing for this show is just... not there. Sometimes you blurt shit when you get overemotional and I think that was what Bucky was supposed to be like.

6. I don't think Sam hates Bucky, I think he doesn't trust him though. I do wish they'd talked about that though. The whole 'talk to each other' scene should've been a LOT longer and a LOT slower.

7. Sam and Bucky's relationship is being fast tracked because they don't really know how to work the relationship out, writers-room-wise. Bucky is technically retired, but I feel like he's trying to live up to Steve's expectations and doing what Steve would've done and we all know that if Steve was there, Steve would've jumped on that plane with Sam. It looks like Sam/Bucky/Joaquin are a side-team based from Military services but as Sam says they're all free agents so...?

8. Sadly, They seem to just be propping up to be another stereotype.

9. Captain America is a symbol. Steve Rogers is a man. But now Steve Rogers is an idol because of all the shit he's been through and honestly, it's not a bad thing he's become an idol for people - it's using Steve as a reason to make White Bread Walker the next Captain that makes Steve's idolization so fucked.

10. I don't know anything about music so I have no opinion here, sorry.

11. Enfys?? Also, I think they did the whole Innocent Girl Thing as side commentary for Bucky lowering his guard about seeing a young girl rather than a guy.

12. Bucky is the Winter Solider. The Winter Solider is Bucky. That is how Bucky will always see it because although he was brainwashed, it was still him and he remembers all of it. When you have constant memories of something 'someone else' did, you tend to not be able to pull the two personas out of each other. I want Bucky to take up the title, White Wolf instead of Winter Soldier. Honest.

This is all my opinion, I’m honestly a little disappointed with the writing of TFATWS so far so... I’m not really optimistic about this.