#some of you need to need to climb out of the trap of doomerism and hyper individualism for that matter

[sunsetsover]

started reading the eclipse novel and it's hitting me with absolute bangers right out of the gate

[quotes-of-dreamland]

Physics in Another Dimension: An Essay About Halcandran Wayfinding by Mod Susie

*clears throat*

So!

I know a lot about space. I’ve been interested in space for aaabout as long as I can remember, and learning about it is where I get most of my physics lessons. I’m decent enough at the game Kerbal Space Program, which is literally a game about rocket science so hard it’s practically not a game, and I’m a sucker for science fiction.

As long as they don’t lean too hard on the fiction thing.

That being said, Kirby flies around at what must be lightspeed on a star barely 4 times as big as he is with no cockpit.

I’ve already gone through all the stages of grief, and have decided to cope with this by saying “there’s an atmosphere in space and also fuck gravity as a concept”.

And then I decided to better my coping mechanism by inventing my own physics. This is a long one, go get some popcorn.

So, if there’s air in space, and some kind of gravity, then there might be wind! That explains the wings on the Halberd and the Lor, plus the sails on the Lor too, but more on that later.

I was recently inspired, however. See, I’d pictured a scenario where Magolor accompanies the group to fight the Grand Doomer in RTDL, and I’d pictured a cute little scene where after the fight, he shows Kirby a little wayfinding trick and shows them that he knows exactly where they are in Another Dimension, by using the stars (checking what angle he’s looking at a constellation at), space-cardinal direction (by looking at the direction the weird tubey-net-geometric thing is flowing), and faint Another Dimension structures in the area, he shows them that, if they were sailing in Another Dimension, he’d be able to find this exact spot.

And then I thought about it more.

I added on to that scenario: “no idea how this happens but like, half the cast is trapped in Another Dimension, and luckily Magolor is with them. Because he knows where that spot in Nutty Noon is, not only can he get them back to the dimension Popstar’s in, but he can get them ON POPSTAR.”

Let’s backtrack a bit.

In KSP, the game I mentioned earlier, there are... many bugs.

It’s gotten a little better nowadays, since the games in version 1.10, but in all the beta versions it got a little crazy.

And one of my favorite youtubers at the time was someone who spent all their time finding bugs in the game and having fun with them.

His name’s Danny2462, and he made a discovery back in 2014 that I THINK might still be in the game. And that is the Phantom Forces Glitch.

Basically, at some point he’d made something out of the air-intake pieces you use to build planes in that game that, for some reason, was skipping across the water in a very not-physically-possible way, and decided to try and build a boat using this glitch.

Putting a seat on it so he could put an astronaut on it didn’t work, so he used a ladder for them to hold onto and therein lies the glitch.

When he made them climb to the top of the ladder (which was the side of his air-intake boat), the boat started moving.

By itself, completely unprompted, no engine. He could even steer the thing!

Basically the game decided that the astronaut was pushing the boat, while riding the boat.

If this worked in real life, you could grab your waistband, lift, and then you’d start flying because you were lifting yourself. “Pick yourself up by the bootstraps” taken extremely literally.

He named this the Phantom Force Drive.

Back to Kirby.

I’ve decided that the way Halcandran Rafts work, you will need the following:

2 wings 1 sail the actual base of the raft an oar for the Halcandran to hold a Halcandran something pointy on the front

Using this you can sail.

1: The sail and wings are like the air intakes, and they also use the wind/current to change directions and maintain a speed. 2: Everything has to be connected together in some way, so you still need the raft part of the raft. A hangglider won’t do. 3: The oar is to help the Halcandran steer, by pushing it out past the length of the raft they can shift the airflow and do things like turn. It also has one other important use... 4: Halcandrans float. They float depending on the gravity around them, always off of the surface they’re on top of. They apply the same amount of force downwards, of course, because *~physics~*. 5: We’ll get to the pointy bit later. You could also replace it with magic, though.

So, you put your Halcandran on your raft. Doesn’t matter how makeshift or complicated the raft is. It’s pushing down against it via floaty magic... but.

If the Halcandran leans against the sail, the raft will float.

The wind will pick it up by the wings and sail, and the Halcandran’s floaty magic is pushing the thing like an engine.

Fuck you, physics.

Now, let’s get back to the pointy bit. Any of ya’ll seen Star Vs.? The ending totally sucked, right?! Staying on topic, if you haven’t, don’t there’s a thing there called Dimensional Scissors. It’s one of  the only good things about the show a little magical artifact in the form of a pair of scissors. You open the scissors, hold them out in front of you, then drag them down to tear a hole in time and space, and can go to different dimensions using them. No shade to those who like Star Vs., i did watch the whole thing after all

You know those previously-mentioned geometric net tubey thingies? I’ve decided those are like currents, and you go REAL FAST in em.

I’ve also decided that they’re rifts.

If you go into one, you can use something sharp to temporarily tear it open, and if you do this in the right place at the right time, you’ll end up in a different dimension, depending on where and when you are.

A good example of this is actually in RTDL: Hal never explained why Another Dimension seems to collapse after the Magolor fight, but you can still go there in Star Allies and everything looks fine.

What you’re looking at is Magolor’s spell fading, meaning the rift he created is falling apart around you. Thank you Lor for reopening the thing.

So, because Magolor tracked the stars in the Nutty Noon rift (in the scenario, remember the scenario? it’s been 27 paragraphs since then, time flies), he can actually find that same rift in another dimension using a makeshift raft, use something sharp to cut into it, and land on the sky tower.

Ta-daa!

If you actually read all this, thanks, I tried to make this sciency rant as funny as possible so it was bearable, (sorry for making fun of Star Vs/ sorry for mentioning Star Vs depending on where you stand), I’ve dedicated so much time to thinking about blue and gold and brown space cats that live in another dimension and I Need To Scream.

Yours truly,

Mod Susie.