#some of these got kinda angsty ngl damn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rexlroze · 1 year ago

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Ranting Time, and there's a lot to talk about^^ (Late review cuz I'm a lazy mf)

Spoilers Ahead

I finished this at like 7:58am in the morning and I got late for my van for school so yeah. I got scolded because of you:(

While reading this, "The Water Is Fine" by Chloe Ament and ngl, it kinda is similar to R's situation. Js sayin'

When I read that "Shut the fuck up" line I genuinely thought Hobie said that to Gwen for a second💀💀

DUDE. WHEN GWEN GRABBED HOBIE'S COLLAR AND LIKE CALLED HIM OUT OR WHATEVER. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT SCENE DID TO ME. FUCK GWEN. Bisexual paniking rn but I didn't even know I liked Gwen like that😮‍💨😮‍💨 I was literally PANICKING. I HAD TO CLOSE MY PHONE, HAD A STROKE, LAID ON THE FLOOR AND TOOK SOME DEEP BREATHS UNTIL I COULD CONTINUE.

I love how defensive Hobie instantly got off R the moment the crew was like, "we gotta go, she back at her home now, bitch."

OMFG. I KNEW IT. HE WAS FOLLOWING HER, R ISN'T DELULU‼️‼️

Omg- For a sec I thought the cousins were Hobie and Gwen in disguise💀 I'm fuckin' stupid lol

COCKSUCKERSSSSSSS!!!! (yk who else is one? me for Hobie)

The way I squealed when I read that "May I have this dance?" Cuz I didn't even have to read further to know who it was. You don't know what you do to me, Katy.

SCUTTLEBUTT😭 when was the last time he called her that? I don't remember but it's been a damn while 😭

Now I want to see Finn teaching Hobie how to dance 💀

AHHHH. KISS. SMOOCH!

FUCK YOU, LYLA. WHY. WHYYYYYYYY. Lyla is a terrible wingman omg😮‍💨

KATY. you're such a liar, you said no when I asked you if there was K. You betrayed me and I'll never trust you again😒

When they're going in for seconds, they're better be more than just kissing. Or at least some tongue and passionate making out. Maybe neck bites (on Hobie? Ugh😮‍💨) :3 — I mean they are in bed *wiggles eyebrow.*

Dude, I'm gonna be honest, this was literally 📈📈📈. Idk how to explain how I feel about this cuz I swear to god, I'm going cunty.

This is officially my favorite chapter. My favorite angsty chapter is still... I forgot the fucking chapter number/title but yeah:3

You have cooked and delivered once again like always.

Sink or Swim

Pairing: Pirate! Hobie Brown x fem! Reader

Total Word Count: 16k

Tags: Use of Y/N sparsely, no specific physical description of the reader (except for her clothing), Hobie is mentioned taller than R, CW food mentions, CW suggestive, TW blood, CW injury, CW miscarriage mention, TW violence.

A/N: I've divided this chapter into two because of how long it is and tumblr wouldn't let me draft the post without the app crashing. So sorry for the inconvenience. I'll put the link at the end and on top.

Between the Devil and the Sea Masterlist

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CHAPTER 13 >>> CHAPTER 13 II

Hobie's throat feels like he swallowed glass. Yet, he screams until his lungs give out, until his body gives out. Fist pounding into steel, skin splitting, blood staining the metal, he continues to call for you. His ears could only hear your frantic yells, his name falling out of your lips, vomited out desperately, asking for him, calling for him to get you out.

He kicks and thrashes at the metal bars, his mind imagines the worst— nails ripped from your fingers, bones breaking, skin scraped and slashed. He doesn't need to imagine how it could feel for he had lived through it all, survived through sheer will alone. But he promised, he promised to you and in that hollow grave that it will never be filled with your body; that your own blood wouldn't spill in between his fingers.

Yet, like the knife that he is, like the one who breaks skin and bleeds everything he touches— he hurt you, shot you where you stood, when he should've protected you, shielded you from the bullet. But how could he do it when the bullet is from him? When he used the same weapon that has ended dozens of lives to protect his crew, to harm you; the only person he deems worthy of telling all his secrets, you, who is worth more than every single treasure in the world.

Maybe he should've listened to you and stayed on the island.

Hobie calls for you once again, in hopes that you hear him too, in hopes that his voice is enough to bring you hope. The lighthouse that guides you home. But he knows, he knows all you could hear are muffled sounds and the creaking from the rocking ship.

Your voice wavers, like you've been forcefully silenced. So he does the screaming for you. It's loud, tone furious, ready to scratch at anyone who gets closer.

“Hobie—” Gwen tries to get his attention as the door opens, revealing the two guards staying in the doorway, keeping their distance.

Guns are strapped to them, knives glinting in the lamp light, armed to the teeth. Hobie knows it's all for him.

“Shut the fuck up.” One frustratingly said, teeth clenched, hands kneading at his temples.

“Keep screaming and you won't get supper.” The bigger one utters, the large scar on his cheek tightens as Hobie taunts them with a grim smile. The smile he reserves to strike fear.

They stiffen in the doorway, shoulders straight, hands reaching for their weapons.

“Do it then.” Hobie says, voice guttural, hands gripping the bars. “End the screaming.” His sheer tone alone sends everyone's hair to stand upright.

No one in the crew dares to stop Hobie. He doesn't know if they're afraid just like the men in front of him or if they're biding their time to scratch and bite too.

“Come closer and end it.” He doesn't yell, and that terrifies the men in the doorway. “And you'll find out exactly what I did to Admiral Kinney all those years ago.” He can still taste the admiral's ichor on his tongue.

The hulking men share a look, sweat dripping off their brows. And with that, they shut the door behind them, returning to their post with their tails tucked between their legs.

“Cowards.”

If it wasn't a grim situation, James would've laughed.

Hobie hears Gwen sigh behind him, the liquid in her hand sloshes as she practically shoves it in his face.

“At least drink some water. For your throat.”

“No, ‘m not drinking that slop.”

Gwen has had enough, she takes him by the collar, eyes bravely glaring at her captain. “If you want to leave this ship and save her, then drink the slop, eat the fucking bread and keep your goddamn energy for when we get the window to escape. Screaming won't help, captain. It's not helping anyone.” Her jaw is set, eyebrows knitted together.

The rest of the crew stand on the side, ready to get between them if it gets physical. He'll never hurt Gwen, never even thought of it. But he can't stand the thought of his family standing against him rather than next to him. So he fixes it, you'd like it that way.

Hobie gingerly takes the cup, chugging it down in one gulp.

“Good, now eat some bread and sit down.”

“Y/N—” he starts.

“She'll be alright, she's a fighter ain't she?” He nods, “you know her better than us, so tell us, cap'n, that she will survive this.”

He roams his red eyes at his sparse crew. For a brief second he sees the ones he lost behind them. For the first time, he's glad he doesn't see you with them.

Returning his attention towards Gwen, he utters the words with the confidence of a captain.

“She'll survive this.”

—

Sitting down in the corner, he rests his poor throat, the dry bread didn't help much. It was shitty to say the least, times like this, he misses Finn. He'd beat him if he ever knew that he let the famous bloodsail pirates into the hands of a former admiral and you into the hands of someone you fear the most.

Hobie shuts his eyes for a second, he swears it's only for a second but when he wakes up with a start and the door opening with a creak, the moon is already shining outside the large boat.

When he sees you appear by the doorway, he thinks he's still dreaming.

“Ten,” He hears you say between gritted teeth. All he could focus on is you, checking for signs of an injury, he starts from your head—nothing, arms, also nothing, save for a few scratches. Then he settles on your bandaged leg, and he remembers what he did, what he did to you. Guilt and grief overtakes his body, he tries his best to hide into the background, into the wooden walls, to become part of the ship, to hide his shame. Because he hurt you, and he'll never forgive himself for what he did.

Hobie watches from his corner, defeated when you tell him subtly that you're alright. And when you called for him, called his name softly like summer wind breezing by, warm and reminding him of home— he couldn't help but oblige.

Who is he to deny the sky?

When you held him in your hands, he felt anew. Apologies spill from his mouth, eyes forlorn at the red spot on your bandages.

What is the tides without his moon?

He feels lighter when you forgive him. But his past action still haunts him, he knows it'll join the long line of nightmares that plague him at night.

“That's my girl.” He says truthfully and proudly, he feels your heartbeat hasten through your pulse.

You tell him your choice, your decision to give up your freedom for him and the crew. He feels like he was back on the revenge, facing Mathias, refusing to let you go as you offer yourself for their freedom.

His heart beats harder as you ask him to read your mother's letter. He's unsure why you would let someone like him read something as heavy as the letter. It's reserved for someone whose hands wouldn't stain the paper with crimson.

“Because I trust you.” You say, and everything aligns in his mind. Like Poseidon shaking him inside out, like the tides itself is splitting him open.

Hobie reads it with trembling hands and broken skin. Like he thought, it turns the paper pink like ink blots dirtying the pristine paper.

He dictates it, heart shattering at every tear you let out. Wiping your cheeks dry, he's careful not to let his split skin touch your softer ones.

“It's real, innit?” He asks like the earth isn't eating him whole.

“It's real.” You answer and the world caves in around him.

Hobie teases to feel the resemblance of normalcy, “little tomato?” He asks.

And you answer with a “I don't want them, just you.” Like you didn't just mend his shattering heart with one sentence. And you break it right after with a “We'll meet again, in this life or the next.”

He's terrified once again. He shakes his head as the door creaks open. “No, Y/N—”

As you kiss his wounded knuckles gently, you ask him something he can't possibly do.

“Don't follow me, please.”

Reaching for you, he should've read the last line in the letter to you. ‘Don't trust anyone’ it said, whatever it was, it's not your burden to carry, so he'll do it for you.

Hobie apologizes in his head for keeping it away from you and for what he's about to do.

—

With the dinner bell ringing, and heavy footsteps retreating, the crew takes their chance. The key opens the door smoothly. They sneak around the ship, only leaving shadows and footfalls that's barely audible.

Climbing up the steps towards freedom, Hobie spots a door at the end of a hallway. Like two hearts beating as one, he knows it's you behind it.

Miles takes his arm before he could come to you. “Don't.” He whispers to his captain. “Don't waste her sacrifice.”

“She didn't sacrifice herself.” Hobie shakes his head, scoffing quietly. “I can't leave her behind, Miles. I can't.”

“I know,” he pulls him away from the hallway. “she asked you to not follow, so don't follow.”

“If this was Gwen—”

“If this was Gwen we'd be doing the exact same thing. She wouldn't ask us to follow and we'll leave because she asked us to.” Miles spares a heavy glance towards your locked door. “I know it hurts, but we'd be in the gallows by morning if we don't leave now. We'll have another chance at saving her.”

“You don't know that.”

“I don't, but it's better to not know instead of being dead. At least we'd have a chance.” Miles tugs him further away. “Do you think it's better for her to think that she caused our deaths just because you took the chance?” His voice is determined.

“Don't hurt her like that, Hobie. It'll ruin her.”

With one last look towards your door, Hobie nods, following the others to the deck then to safety. As the dinghy drops down into the sea, and into the dark night, he hears Miguel curse his name.

He asks for your forgiveness silently.

—

Hobie and the crew finally make it to the docks without being seen by anyone. It was pure luck that no one saw or even heard them, he thanked the early morning and the still dark sky for lending them a hand.

“We need to wait for her.” He says, stretching his stiff hands from rowing the boat.

The sparse pirate crew hides in the shadows, hidden behind the dark alleyway. They lean on the grimy walls, hands cradling their fatigued heads, huffing and groaning at the aches and pains they had from their daring escape. They can still hear Miguel cursing Hobie's name, his voice ringing in their ears.

“Hobie,” Gwen calls for him. “Leave her be.”

“What the fuck?” Hobie turns sharply. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“It means we leave her alone.” Pavitr says forlornly, eyes downcast at the dirty pavement.

“We promised her—”

“That was when we didn't know it was her actual family. Back when we all thought Miguel was a threat to her.” Yuri pipes up, hands braced on her knees. Fatigued and clearly needing rest. “I love her, Hobie, I really do. We all love her, but she's with family now. Let her be.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Miles scoffs, “We're talking about the same person right?” He stands next to Hobie, arms crossed on his chest.

“C’mon, Miles,” Gwen says tiredly. “We all heard their conversation, it's real, she's noble—”

“And what of it?” Hobie snaps back. “You were too.”

“I was.” She scowls. “But she has a home to go to, a family that's waiting for her. We need to let her be until for whatever reason she decides to stay or leave with us.” Inhaling sharply, she rubs harshly at her eyes. “Let's make a compromise then. We're all clearly feeling conflicted. I don't want to fully let her go, we all agree right?”

Everyone nods, tension running high, glares thrown about the small group. Gwen continues, “Then we stay close to her, we watch her like when we used to observe potential crew members. But this time we make sure she is actually safe and not thrown to the wolves.” Her idea reminds Hobie why he chose her as his first mate.

“I'll keep first watch,” Hobie quickly says, "we switch after I say so.”

“And when will that be, Hobie?” Yuri clasps her hand on Hobie's shoulder, comforting the man. “You haven't slept a wink, add the fact that you were stranded on a bloody island for a month, you're not in the right state for this.”

“I'll be once I see that she's safe.” His voice cracks, “I didn't keep an eye on MJ and look what happened. I-I don't want that to happen again. Please let me do it. You can follow me all you want just let me keep watch—”

“It's Y/N,” James whisper yells, he peeks around the alley, watching you slowly walk down the ship.

They all clammer to see you ignore Miguel's helping hand. Pride swells in their chest, they remember now why they can't exactly leave you behind— you're family.

As if fate is pulling the strings, you crane your neck to look in their direction. The crew ducks away, but Hobie stays, staring at you, waiting for your signal, anything to indicate that you want to run away with them.

He sees your subtle shake of your head, and with that, he hides with his crew.

“Did she say something?” Pav asks, concerned for you.

“No, nothin’” He holds his heart in his hand. “She said nothin'”

—

Hobie follows you quietly throughout the day. Hiding from Miguel's watchful eyes and your sad eyes. The crew left to rest in an inn, Miles offered to come with him, Hobie's glad he did for he found an unhitched horse in a street corner. But it could only seat one so Miles, the angel that he is, let Hobie go on without him.

“I'll take care of them.” He promises before he lets his captain go.

They all know your house, they've raided their ships before. Crates upon crates full of luxury, with the same design on your necklace stamped on the wooden sides. Hobie knows them quite well, the favourite of the king, always giving them special treatment. Yet the queen holds them at an arm's length away, but she never left her eyes away from their business. He guessed sacking random ships has its perks, gossip is one of them.

Hobie silently trots his horse, eyes never leaving the carriage you just left. The cemetery sends his nerves alight, with the crows cawing in the background, he strains his ear to listen in. He's hiding behind the chapel, the irony doesn't escape him.

The truth is revealed to you, and unbeknownst to you, he has learned about it too. His head is in his hands as he listens to how broken your voice is, tone splitting at the seams. Then his heart stops when you tell your mother that you want to stay, that you want to find the person responsible for their deaths, that the same flames burning inside him now have spread to you.

Hobie doesn't want you to go down the same path he walked on, to let the embers singe your skin, to let the fire burn you from the inside out like it had with him. You helped him through his, helped him control it. Now it's his turn to do so for you.

He cares for you, loves you for all your soft touches and gentle tone. But he's prepared to love you through your jagged edges, through all the anger that's inside you. He'd love both sides of you, because it's you, and no one else.

His foot accidentally steps on a twig as he sees you leave. Hobie almost ran towards you when you looked at the source of the sound. This time he ducks away, knowing that there's eyes on you, eyes that are prepared to take you away the moment they see him. So he waits, until there's no more eyes on you.

The next time he saw you again was when you stepped out of the carriage and into the golden doors of the palace. He's terrified for what's to come, whether or not Miguel has brought you on a silver platter for the wolves to devour.

With his guns accompanying him, he readies outside the walls of the palace until you leave, until he sees you again climbing inside the carriage.

He can finally breathe again, he doesn't have to kill this time. Not yet anyway.

Hobie tries his best to stay hidden, he bribes and lies to get inside Hazelside. Then he waits, and bides his time just to talk to you.

—

“Hazelside estate,” Miguel says when the large manor looms over the horizon. “Your family has owned it for two hundred years. Passed down to every first born child of the family.”

Acres and acres of land stretch across the vast space. Primed apple trees and oaks line the road, men and women in work clothes walk near the carriage, not even craning their necks to take a peek inside. It seems this was a daily occurrence for them.

“Two hundred years.” You repeat, contemplating how many generations owned it. “So it's mine once the papers are signed? Where would my…uncle and aunt go then?” Your mind goes through a hundred scenarios where you stay and where you decide to leave it all again.

“They have their own house. Granted it's not as big as Hazelside but it's enough for them. Knowing his majesty, he'd take his sweet time from releasing the papers.”

“How well do you know the king and queen?” You ask, eyes scanning your family's land.

Stone houses are standing miles away from the main estate, employees of the house you think. Chimneys billow out smoke whilst the sun is just about to rise. You imagine them having breakfast with their families, sleep still clinging in their lashes, hot tea wrapped in their cool hands. Opening the window, the smell of fresh apples wafts over you. Home, you think. It smells like home. Or it just reminds you of the apple tarts Jessica made for you when you were younger.

“You alright?” Miguel asks, watching you frown.

“I'm fine, just tired.” You lied, in truth, you miss them all.

“You had a hectic day, I don't blame you. You'll get to rest soon, I promise.”

How could you even think of sleeping alone? After being near him? After saying goodbye?

“You didn't answer my question.” You shift your attention from the trees to the man before you. “How well do you know them?”

“I barely know the queen, but the king? Yes, short answer? He's a moron, a buffoon wearing a crown.”

Lyla snickers next to you, head plopped on the carriage wall, seemingly asleep.

You smile, “You have a monkey for a king.”

“Once you're the Hazelside duchess, he'll be your king too.”

“Christ.” You chuckle nervously.

“Don't worry, I'll help you get accustomed to polite society.” Miguel reassures you and you still have no idea if you'll stay long enough to bear the title.

“Polite society.” You say with a scoff, “What I just saw wasn't very polite.”

“Just remember, everything here is political. Everyone here is climbing the ladder, kissing the royal asses. Some are doing it for their families, some are doing it for their personal gain.”

“Which one do you think I am?”

“Neither.” The carriage stops, horses neighing, hooves stomping on the gravel. “You're not like them, Y/N, that's why you'll end up walking all over them.”

The footman opens the door, Miguel gives you a look before coming down the small steps. He reaches towards you, helping you down. You hesitate. You still don't take his hand even with your bad leg.

The wind blows cold, goosebumps appearing on your skin, face worried at the sheer size of the manor. The glinting silvered birds catch the early morning's sun's rays. Beady eyes seemingly blinking when a cloud passes by.

Vines cling to the ancient walls, small purple flowers run along the plant and along the large windows. Strong columns line the façade, laurels carved on the marble, oak doors displaying the house sigil— your necklace bearing a similarity to it. Flower beds cradling violets lay by the foot of the building, blooming and fragrant. The smell hiding your trepidation from the dozen or so people watching you with unreadable eyes.

The staff greets you with a stiff nod, they stand on the stairs leading towards the manor. Their uniforms are perfect, perfectly ironed and clean; perfect white gloves on their hands.

A couple of them help your drunk uncle off their own carriage. He groans, head swirling, eyes rolling to the back of his head. Fancy clothes sweaty and moist, neckerchief lopsided and dirtied by ale. In contrast to his wife, who looks tired with the heavy eye bags under her eyes, she still looks like a proper noble compared to Frederick.

“Freddy—” She groans, kicking her husband's leg, “get up!”

“Darling…” he slurs, “there's two of you—oh wait…now there's three!” His guffaw fills the quiet morning.

Victoria gives up, leaving the man to the care of her staff. She walks off, huffing and puffing. She gives you a glance, “what are you waiting for? Get inside.”

Her eyes flick to Miguel who stands behind you, she immediately clamps down her bitterness. “Welcome to Hazelside, niece.” With a stomp of her heeled foot, she heads inside, no doubt seething.

“Catty.” Lyla says next to you, elbowing your side. “C’mon, your grace, before the sun gets in their eyes and sends them into a murderous frenzy.”

You chuckle, shaking your head. Something flickers in your peripheral vision, when you move your head to look, whatever it was, it's already gone behind the thick bushes.

“Y/N?” Miguel beckons you over. “It's cold out, come inside before you get sick.”

“Coming,” you call back, eyes darting around the thicket.

—

Miguel shows you around to your room in the west wing. Various historical paintings decorate the walls, wooden simple frames around them, showing the true beauty of the art without all the extravagant gold laurels around it.

Sculpted busts of your ancestors wait at every corner, marble eyes staring blankly at what's in front of them. Large windows line the walls, just outside the glass lies an expansive field of apple trees, bulbs of reds and greens adorning the branches of the mighty orchard. You stand in awe at the sight, workers start flocking the trees, picking and plucking at the ripest of fruits. The sun shines directly at the field, apples aglow with its light like red and green stars.

You lag behind Miguel as you gawp at the scenery, hand tucked inside the pocket of your gown, mindlessly rolling the pearl. Wishing the crew could see it too, wishing that he could see it and harvest the fruits with you.

Miguel calls for you, hand reaching but he retracts it back to his side. “Apples are new around here.” You genuinely smile at him, so he continues. “It used to just be hazelnuts, which still grow plenty in the estate.”

“Why the change then?”

“They didn't change, your family merely adapted. Your grandmother was the one who started planting the apple trees. Whenever she had a—” Miguel falters, you can practically see his brain turning.

“Had a what? I'm a big girl, Miguel, I can handle whatever it is.” You encourage him with a nod.

“A miscarriage,” he says lowly, “At the end of her life she planted seven trees. There was only one seed she didn't plant and that was when your mother was born.”

Your heart aches at the story even though the people in it are practically strangers to you. “Apple of her eye.” You murmur.

Miguel chuckles, turning to watch the vast orchard that spans acres upon acres of land. “It’s an understatement. She was spoiled, your mother. But she had a heart, most of her gifts almost always ‘gets lost’ somewhere.” He smiles fondly. “Strangely enough, it always ends up with someone who would benefit from it more.”

“Which one ended up getting lost in your backyard?” You smile at his rare grin.

“A lot, pocket watches, jeweled eggs, there was a kitten once. Only because her mother didn't like it.” He sighs, hazel eyes shining under the sunlight.

“You loved her.”

“I did,” he stares at you with kinder eyes. “She was my best friend, and so was your father. They both were.”

“What did you mean back at the carriage when you told me that they did the same to you?”

He swallows thickly, staring back at the outside of the opulent manor. “My daughter, Gabriella.” he says after a moment, “She was only a few years older than you. Your parents were her godparents, this was before they eloped and had you.” You can feel the strain in his voice. “She got sick…they poured everything into giving her the best doctors the country has to offer. They were at her side while I was drowning my sorrows in the navy. When they weren't by her side, they were with me. But in the end everything was all in vain.”

“I'm sorry,” you say genuinely, “I'm sorry, Miguel.”

He gives you a tight smile and a pat on your shoulder. “Even after all that they were still by my side, even when I pushed them away.” Sniffing, he subtly wipes his eye. “I didn't cross the sea and traveled thousands of miles to find you because I want us to be even. Or to pay the debt, I just wanted to find the last thing they left in hopes that I also find them in you.” His chest heaves. “I couldn't even say goodbye to them.”

There's tears in your eyes as he chokes on his own words. “I lost my friends but you lost your family before you could even meet them. And for that, I'm sorry, Y/N.” His hand shakes. “They didn't deserve what happened to them.”

“Tell me what happened to them.” You stand toe to toe with him, determined to get answers.

“Pirates, I told you they were pirates.”

You shake your head. “Do you really believe that, O’Hara? Or are you still trying to convince yourself otherwise?”

His jaw clenches, “It was pirates, Y/N.”

“Tell that to the former navy medic I call mother.”

He whispers, “the last time I looked further into their deaths I lost my Job, stripped of all my titles. I almost lost my house because of it.”

“Then tell me what you found.” You challenge him back. “Tell me who ordered it so I can live in this house in peace.”

“I don't have definitive proof—”

“Who?”

“Edward.” He says through gritted teeth. “He wanted to marry your mother, even going as far to ask for her hand. But when she refused him for your father—” he heaves. “I think he has probable cause to order the attack.”

“You were answering the man who might've killed my parents and wanted me dead?”

“How do you think that makes me feel, hm? I had my full trust in the navy, trusting the report they gave, trusted them with my whole life, even dedicating my life to them. And the moment I get a whiff of a planned murder on the only family I've ever had they bar me from the only life I've ever known. How do you think that made me feel?”

“I'm sorry you went through that but you could've done something.”

“He is king!” Miguel's voice booms around the hallway. He shifts his voice, pinching his knitted brows. “His word is law, I couldn't have done anything, even if I had proof.”

“You should've started with that instead of telling me lies, then I would've come to you without a fight.”

“There would've still been a fight.” He states matter of factly. “Hobie was ready to fight the moment I stepped below deck.”

“Could you blame him though? We both know not every single pirate crew is as nice as them, he didn't attack because you claimed it was pirates. Or that he was offended, he knows that he has done unsavoury things too. So what did you say that made him lunge at you?”

Miguel shakes his head, refusing to say anything. “It's best that you don't remember it.”

“Fine, be like that, just know that there will always be a wall between us.” Your heels clack loudly against the oak floors as you leave him behind.

—

The room they gave you was surprisingly comfortable, unlike the apartments in the palace that you explored. It's ten times bigger than the inn you were in, complete with your own bathroom and sitting room. It's all wooden walls covered in beautiful tapestries of various scenes from history— the thick cloth helps keep the heat inside. All the windows are wide open to let the cool air in and the moonlight. So you could hear the rustling of the trees outside, so you could smell the crisp apples. It helps, you think as you sit in front of the large stone fireplace with birds engraved in every corner of the stone.

You're already sick of the bloody birds.

You wrap the fur blanket closer to your body, still in your gown, refusing to wear anything else they've provided for you. You've heard of poisoned dresses before, it's far-fetched but you can't risk it now that you're in a more unfamiliar territory where your own family holds a grudge against you just for existing.

Especially now that you're alone in a large room filled with strange things. And with only his dagger to keep you safe.

Anyone would kill to be in your shoes right now, to be pampered and placed in a household that can provide for all your needs. If it weren't for the hunger in you, you would've left all of the gold in this house just to get back to them. Instead, the fire has you in its hold too.

Miguel's information only fueled the glowing embers in you, you're determined to find who killed them. But you're still restrained in this large manor, and until you can get your answers, you say their names to satiate the hunger.

“Edward and Mathias.” You say through shuddered breath, feeling if you could just say it louder, the sky would strike them down where they stood.

The pearl in your hands is warm, the shiny surface reflecting your scowl.

The flames mesmerize you as it dances in the kindling. Orange and reds illuminate your face, it's the only light in the whole room. You exhale and a puff of clouds escape your cool lips.

It's getting colder, and you're missing him.

Just when you're about to stand up to close the windows, a pebble lands near you. It thuds on the wooden floors, the sound gets your attention.

“What the hell?” You say confused. Standing back up, another flies through the open windows and into your room. “Who the fuck?” Speed walking towards the window, you almost get hit by a pebble if you didn't dodge it in time. “Hey!”

Fifteen feet below your window, you see two people dressed in their night clothes, bundled up in fur coats. They look up at you with wide eyes, like they got caught with their hands inside the cookie jar.

“Cousin!” One exclaims, a wide apologetic smile on his lips, showing you his perfect teeth. “Sorry about that! Can you come down?”

“Who in the world are you?” You ask, confused, you lean down to take a better look, hands gripping the sill for support.

“We're your cousins! I guess?” The girl next to him says, eyes shining in the moonlight, hand holding another pebble. “We waited to see you during supper and around the house but you were apparently hiding!”

“Alright, why do I need to come down then?”

“Because we want to properly introduce ourselves! Without screaming at you from below that is.” The girl shrugs, smiling prettily at you. “Please, cousin?”

“...fine.” you grumble, the dagger is still hidden underneath your skirt in case they're planning something nefarious.

They beam up at you, the girl daintily claps her hands. “Brilliant! We'll be waiting at the entrance.”

As you trudge down the unfamiliar sprawling halls, trying your hardest to not get lost in the maze-like structure. You accidentally encounter another painting of your mother.

Her name is etched on a golden plaque just below the portrait. This one was different from the one in the palace, she was stiff there, lips tightly closed into a line, eyes cold and empty. The one in front of you is warm, a soft smile on her lips, eyes shining and alive. Her dress is in lilac, golden stars adorning the bodice. She still wore the same necklace you're currently wearing, it rests perfectly on her neck. In her hand is a closed locket, you wonder whose portrait lies inside.

“Hi, mum.” You whisper into the cold hallway. “Where's dad's portrait?” You ask like she would open her mouth and answer back. With a sigh, you head downstairs.

Walking the ancient floors, the moon shines down at you, the light peeking in from the gaps of the heavy curtains. Silently, you meet with your cousins in the foyer. Carefully coming down the curved staircase, hand gripping the bannister, the boy who is about the same age as Miles meets you halfway. He reaches towards you, giving you a hand.

“I heard about your leg, I thought you'd appreciate some help.”

“You're Frederick's children?” You say, questioning whether or not you should take his hand.

“We are,” he says with a sigh. “Come on, cousin, or you might miss it.”

“Miss what?”

“The birds.” The girl waiting in the foyer excitedly says. “They're migrating.”

“Oh, I don't see why that would be so interesting.” You say as the boy flexes his fingers, beckoning you down.

“You’ll see why. Take my hand please, you look like our grandmother going down the steps.”

“Fine,” with an exhale, you take his hand. You hold his hand, a feather light touch that he barely feels, giving yourself enough time to react if he decides to do something.

“I'm Jonathan, or just John.” He says as he gently leads you down the steps. His stride is slow, waiting for your own feet to keep up. “And this is my sister—”

“Collette!” She suddenly clasps your hands when you reach the last step. “Sorry–” her tone is sweet and genuine, quickly removing her hands from yours. “I got too excited! I'm Collette, my brother and I are twins.”

“Unfortunately…” John says under his breath.

Collette jabs her elbow by his side, earning a groan from him. You see the similarities on their faces now that you're closer to them. From the slope of their noses to the curls of their hair, they look very much alike. Except for their eyes, Collette has emerald eyes that shimmer from the oil lamp she carries. While her brother has brilliant blue eyes that remind you of the sea when the sun shines above it.

You get reminded of him again.

“Who's older?” You ask teasingly, pushing the previous thought away.

“I am!” They both speak at the same time. John looks at her sister with disappointment, while Collette scrunches her nose.

“I'm five minutes older than you, Jojo.” She says with a tone you could only describe as annoyed.

“Father told me I'm the one who's five minutes older. Not you!”

“Sure,” she nods sarcastically, the lamp in her hand sways. “Because father was in the room when we were born.” Her head swivels to look at you, and you almost jump at how fast she moved. “He wasn't in the room.”

“Ah, I think I got it—”

“Like you could bloody remember.” John says with a scoff.

Before the argument could go on, you stop them with your hands on each of their shoulders.

“I need to sleep, so whatever you want to show me, just fucking show me.”

Collette stares at you with a gasp, eyes wide like you just said the darndest thing. Meanwhile, John has the biggest grin you've ever seen.

“Wow, cousin.” He says, amused. “I heard you used to run with pirates but I didn't know you got their vocabulary too. Hazelside would be more interesting now that you're here.”

“Gosh,” Collette exhales, clutching her pearls (literally) “I didn't know that word could be uttered by a woman.”

“You should try it sometimes. It's very freeing.” You chuckle at their reaction whilst you make your way outside. “Before we freeze to death, cousins?”

“The oldest should lead the way.” John takes the opportunity to rag on his still bewildered sister.

She groans audibly. “You're not the one with the lamp.”

You smile, there's a warm familiar feeling in your chest.

—

Leaves crunch under your bare foot, you've got blisters from the uncomfortable heels Miguel gave you. You'd take walking on bare feet rather than wear that torture device ever again. The only plus side of the fancy shoe is that it makes you feel powerful with every click of the heels. Walking along a path, tall apple trees carve a way for you and the twins.

“I like your dress.” Collette says right next to you, you sense her wariness by how she keeps her distance. “The color is beautiful, it's our house color.”

“Thank you, but I've been told that red suits me better.”

“Oh, I think they're right actually.” She smiles, her eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Yeah, I'm slowly getting used to this one though.” You lift up your skirt a bit for emphasis.

“Is it true that you were shot?” John asks in front of you, looking over his shoulder. “We heard from the footmen that you were shot by a pirate when O’Hara rescued you.”

“I was, but that's not the whole story. Miguel didn't rescue me.”

“Really?” Collette's brows are raised in question and surprise. You nod at her question. “Huh, I told you we shouldn't listen to gossip.” She slaps her brother on his bicep, he winces, glaring at her. “It's bad to begin with.”

“That's the thing about gossip, Co, it's not always the truth.” He spits out.

“I knew that, pssh.” She crosses her arms on her chest, annoyed and embarrassed.

“Why are we out here again? If you're planning to ambush me—” Colette gasps loudly, like you've shot her.

“Ambush you? Do we look like we know how to fight?” She stops you from going further down the path just as you see a dark river at the end of it.

John knits his brows with a pout. “We're here to give you a warm welcome, cousin. We heard mother and father didn't even give you a tour, so I guess it falls on us to show you around.”

“At night though?” You gesture around the silence of the grounds, save for a few crickets chirping and the flowing of the lake, you're practically alone in the dark.

“Guess we're just living to our house motto, ‘carpe noctem—’”

“‘Seize the night’” Collette finishes her brother's sentence. “The ancestor who established our house was a gambler.” She shrugs.

“That's our house motto?”

“Nope!” Collette answers you. “It was our house motto.” She gestures to herself and her brother. “Before the crown granted us Hazelside, after—” John elbows her. “I'm sorry.”

“It's alright, what's the actual motto?”

“‘alis volat propriis—’”

“‘She flies with her own wings.’” You translate, the siblings look at you with awe. “There's latin in medicine.”

“You know medicine?!” Collette shrieks, the sound echoing through the dark.

“Brilliant.” John murmurs.

“Oh you must tell us more!” Collette loops her arm around yours, walking side by side. “How and where did you learn it?”

“I—”

“Don't pester her, Co.” John clicks his tongue, “have you cut anyone's arm off?”

“How grim!” She exclaims.

As they lead you towards the sparkling lake, you three chat through the night by the banks of the hazelside lake. They ask about the world outside the capital, they ask about the sea and the pirates you were with. You don't tell them about all the blood and violence, deciding that you shouldn't mar their innocent hearts with stories of death. It's not yours to tell, and you don't want to traumatize the only people who don't look at you with contempt.

“So you're not mad at me or even at least a bit annoyed for showing up and taking the estate from your parents?” You ask whilst the sun slowly rises, bathing the lake in bright blue. The hazelnuts in your mouth is a welcome one since you haven't eaten a single bite since you got to the capital.

“Not really.” John munches on his own pile of hazelnuts. He lounges near the water, hand cradling his head, chewing quietly. “We were surprised at first because there have been a handful of girls who claimed to be you. Who were obviously not you.” You raise an eyebrow at his statement. “But when they told us it was Miguel who found you, we were sure it was really you.”

“Wait— there were people who claimed to be me?”

“Mm-hmm.” Collette hums, sitting close to you, hanging on to every word you utter. “They weren't very convincing.”

“The story of Miguel trying to find you was pretty famous around here. I mean, the guy abandoned his post to find a missing duchess who may or may not be alive. That was a big story back then, so a lot of women threw their daughters and young relatives at the manor's gates to get a chance.” John informs you.

“We were quite young back then, but the fakes dwindled away through the years.” Collette finishes his statement.

“‘Quite young’ she says,” he scoffs, “we were barely out of the womb, Collette.” His sister sticks out her tongue at John.

“Huh, that's probably why I haven't heard of it either, I was still young.” You wonder.

“The sun's almost out!” Collette points at the clear sky. “Get ready, cousin, because you're about to see the most gorgeous thing.”

“The birds here migrate at this time of year,” John helps you both up to your feet. You surprisingly take his hand. “like clockwork. Collette and I used to watch it with our parents before they got all…well, too much. Now it's some sort of tradition for us.”

“Look look! The trees are rustling!” She points, jumping up and down.

“Any minute now.” John smiles at his sister as she half hugs him.

The three of you wait for a sign of the birds, a minute passes, then two, then five. Yet, not even a feather flies overhead. The early morning sun shines brighter with every minute that passes. And with every minute, the twins grew agitated.

“Why aren't they coming out?” Collette asks sadly.

“I'm sure they're just getting ready for the journey.” John reassures his sister with a pat on her shoulder. “My calculations are correct, why aren't they here yet?” He questions no one.

Their slumped shoulders and frowns get to you. An idea pops in your head, and you think it's all Hobie's fault.

“Maybe they're still sleeping.” They look at you simultaneously, “I mean it's really cold out, they probably wanted to stay in bed�� or nest to sleep more. I know I would want to.”

“Oh,” Collette gives you a small smile at your attempt to make them feel better. “That's probably it. Thank you, cousin.”

You grin mischievously at them, “what if we wake them all up?”

John makes a face. “How?”

You inhale, putting your hands around your mouth, you scream, “wake the fuck up!” The sound echoed throughout the field and across the lake.

Your cousins let out a loud guffaw, you giggle at their reaction. John joins in, copying your actions.

“Wake up you wankers!” He yells, exhilaration filling his chest. “I've always wanted to say that.” Chuckling, he laughs louder at the face his sister is making.

“Johnathan!” His sister gasps next to him.

“What? Try it out! Come on then! No one's out here to tell us off.” John shakes her shoulder, giving you a wide grin.

“Join us in the dark side, Collette.” You sing song, “the birds need a wake up call.”

“You won't tell mother and father?” She asks the both of you. Wiggling, she’s excited.

Crossing your heart, you promise. “I won't, I'm not a tattletale.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die, Co.”

“Alright.” She exhales deeply before letting loud the loudest scream you've ever heard. “Wake up, cocksuckers!” It's so loud that you swear your eardrums are blown out. Smiling, she turns towards your surprised forms.

Now it's you and John's turn to gasp.

“Cocksucker?!” You exclaim, bewildered.

“Where'd you learn that, Co?!” John pokes his sister.

“I heard it when Mrs. Williams stubbed her toe during lessons.” She said shyly.

“Good on you, sis.” He pats her back. “Good on you.”

Collette looks at you expectantly. “Good show, Co.” You wink at her and she giggles happily.

Facing towards the thick trees across the lake, the birds still don't fly overhead. There's nothing but the wind rustling the branches.

“They didn't wake up though.” She says forlornly.

“What if we do it at the same time?” Your words have them smiling again.

“Yes!” They say simultaneously.

“Ready?” They both nod, taking in air before screaming their hearts out.

“Cocksuckers!” The three of you let out simultaneously. The canopy rustles and out comes a hundred or so birds from the thicket.

You all jump up and down, arms up in greeting the birds. Their feathers shine in the sun, light filtering through their wings. Iridescent blues and whites glowing, reflecting in your eyes. Wings flapping loudly, beaks held up high as they greet the sky with open wings.

Amidst the beauty of it all, you wish that he was there to witness it.

A tear slides down your cheek. You wipe it quickly before the twins notice. Head staring up at the sky, amidst all the beauty and light, there's a darkness swirling inside you. Amidst all the life around you, you feel the opposite. And you miss him. The worst part is, you see this place becoming your home.

>>> CHAPTER 13 II

#between the devil and the sea #hobie brown x reader #rexlreblog

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onigirintarou · 3 years ago

Text

No One Lets Me Down Quite Like I Do

Word Count: 2.7k

Content Warning: alcohol, mentions of underage drinking, best friends to strangers to ???, kinda angsty at the end ngl, f!reader

He doesn’t quite know what the hell he’s doing here. He thinks he might be a bit of a masochist because then at least he would have a reason as to why he didn’t throw out that damn letter as soon as he saw that it was sent from his old high school.

Don’t get him wrong, his time at Aoba Johsai High might as well have been the best years of his life. He was on top of the world. He had friends that he saw nearly everyday and then some because of practice. His biggest ambitions at the time were to sneak one of Mattsun’s cream puffs without the curly-haired boy noticing and to somehow find a way to beat Iwa at arm wrestling—the first was a consistent success and the second not so much.

Now he counts himself lucky if he’s able to catch up with the boys once in a blue moon. He doesn’t fault them for it. They’ve all got busy lives. Matsukawa’s got his gig working at the funeral home. And sure, he might not understand the allure of it, but Issei seems happy enough. Oikawa, of course, was out making an even bigger name for himself in the global volleyball community. Then, there was Iwaizumi Hajime, 27, athletic trainer.

He was happy for his friends. Really. He was.

But it kinda sucked being Hanamaki Takahiro, 27, in-between jobs.

As if sensing the downward spiral that his thoughts had taken, a gentle hand on his elbow brings him out of his quiet contemplation.

“Hey, mind if I sit here?” you ask as a nervous smile graces your features.

He nods shakily and your smile brightens as you make yourself comfortable on the stool beside him.

God, when was the last time he saw you? It must have been at graduation.

He can still remember how you fit perfectly in his arms as he spun you around. He recalls how you shrieked in surprise but wrapped your arms tighter around him in response. You were both making promises with the best intentions to stay in touch. After all, life was taking you down separate paths but that didn’t mean you were going to stop being best friends.

He chuckles wryly at his past self’s naivety. Your texts and calls had stopped after that first year.

Your hand waves down the bartender as you order a drink.

“They must have splurged on this if there’s an open bar, huh.” His eyes follow the movement of your hands as they smooth down the skirt of your dress.

He thought he’d stored away his feelings for you in a box and thrown away the key. But those pesky emotions were rattling against the lock.

God. The years have done you good. It’s definitely not that he didn’t find you beautiful before. He thought you were the most gorgeous being in existence. And now he’s reminded of just how out of his reach you are.

But here you sit anyway with him of all people, and it’s enough to take his breath away.

He’s found himself lost in his thoughts again and it isn’t until you slide him a drink of his own that he breaks himself free from his own head.

His eyebrows raise at the clear liquid in front of him.

“Jeez, Makki. It’s not poison if that’s what you’re thinking,” you chide jokingly.

He makes a face before rolling his eyes good-naturedly and takes a long, drawn out sip. “Definitely not like the sake we would sneak from my dad’s cabinet,” he states.

Your face splits into a grin as you bring yourself closer to him. “I’m pretty sure he knew and watered it down.”

Hanamaki takes another small sip. “Oh, probably,” he agrees. “That didn’t stop us from having some pretty good times though.”

You giggle as you playfully swat at his chest. “Stop! I was never as bad as you.”

He takes the opportunity to grasp your hand against his. “Really?” he quirks an eyebrow. “I would wager you were worse than me.”

Your over exaggerated gasp makes him snort into his drink and for the first time this evening, he finds himself with a genuine smile on his face. There’s just something about you, he thinks.

“I resent that you know,” you say with a little conspiratorial grin of your own. After taking a long sip of your own drink, you ask the question that he’s been dreading since arriving. “So, how’ve you been, Makki?”

Unlike the others who have asked, he can tell you’re not just asking to make polite conversation and unlike others, he knows you’re not going to gloss over his answer to eventually segue on to how you’ve just gotten a promotion, married, had a kid, etc. He takes a look at your ring finger, just in case, and breathes out a sigh of relief when he notices that it’s bare.

In all your years of friendship, he knows you’ve never been anything but sincere. He can tell from your voice and how your eyes have not left his since you’ve taken the seat beside him that you’re honestly interested in knowing how life has treated him after high school.

He contemplates lying but even though it’s been ten years since you last saw each other, he knows that he’d be quickly called out.

So he settles for the truth instead. “Oh, you know. A little bit of this and that,” he replies easily, which technically isn’t a lie. The amount of jobs he’s held could fill up five pages on a resumé, not that he’d ever list them all out or could even remember all of them if he were to be honest. And just recently, he had put in his two weeks notice at the electronics store he’d worked at after hearing that his name had been tossed around for a promotion. Talk like that usually signaled it was time for him to move on.

You always had a way of seeing through him though and it seems like the ten years apart haven’t dulled your Hanamaki bullshit senses in any way, shape, or form. He fights the urge to shrink in on himself as you take him in.

“I didn’t ask about what you’ve been doing, Makki. I asked about how you’ve been,” you prod.

The smile on his face immediately drops. How was he going to explain that here he was closer to 30 than 17 and practically still as directionless as the day he entered Aoba Johsai High.

He gulps down his drink instead, fighting the urge to cough at the not-so-familiar burn of the sake as it slid down his throat.

You pat his back reassuringly. “You always were a bit of a lightweight.”

He frowns. Truth be told, he wasn’t much of a drinker. He only really drank with you in high school and that was just to help you satisfy your curiosity and to make sure that you were safe when drinking.

You wave down the bartender again and when he comes back he hands a bottle of water to Makki.

He supposes that he should feel embarrassed, however, he’s anything but as you uncap the bottle for him while your other hand rubs soothing circles onto his back.

“You know you can tell me anything right, Makki?” your gentle expression nearly makes him choke on the water.

He brings the bottle back down onto the counter with a louder thud than what he had intended. Before he can stop himself the words spill out. “It’s kinda hard to know that when we basically haven’t spoken since school ended.”

A silence follows and he makes the mistake of looking up at your face. Your jaw is clenched and your lips pinched desperately trying to hold in your own retort.

Another empty beat passes.

“I’m -” he says about to apologize, but you cut him off.

“No, you’re right,” you concede. “We fell off, didn’t we?”

He lowers his head and gives you a half-hearted smile. “Yeah,” he agrees. “What happened to us?”

You give him your own lopsided grimace. “Time, I suppose,” you answer. “I really should have done better at keeping in contact.”

He places his hand on your shoulder and squeezes in reassurance. “No, that was unfair of me. Communication is a two-way street. I could have made an effort too. I’m sorry..”

The smile you give him almost reaches your eyes. “Still, I am sorry.” He kicks himself at the slight quiver in your voice.

“Shit,” he breathes out as he runs a hand through his hair. “We’re just gonna go around in circles with the apologies all night, aren’t we?” he chuckles wryly.

You join in and he feels a warmth blossom in his chest at the sound of your polite laughter.

“Anyway, you asked me about how I was,” he says hoping to move on, but before he can, your right hand reaches out to grasp onto his wrist.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” God. You can probably feel his pulse quicken at the feel of your hand on his.

He nods. “I know but I want to.”

He tells you about college – how he graduated with a business degree and had to wear a suit everyday for two years at the firm whose offer he had accepted straight out of school.

You snicker at the thought of your best friend in a suit. It was almost too far-fetched to believe but he shares a picture on his phone which effectively shuts you up.

He was grimacing in the picture as his hands worked to loosen his tie. Despite the obvious discomfort in his face, you can’t help when your stare lingers at his form. You can feel his eyes on you so you hide your blush by taking another swig of your drink – at least you can blame your flush on the alcohol and not on the thought of how good he looked in his suit.

You cough into your elbow and gesture for him to go on.

He continues to tell you about his first job. Countless hours spent staring at a computer screen, sitting next to people whose names he didn’t bother to learn. He was just another number, but he stayed on because he thought that was the only option he had.

It wasn’t until he saw how the higher ups had treated a coworker of his that he had quit on the spot.

His coworker was just coming back from maternity leave and was given all of the work she had missed in that time span plus work that he knew for a fact his other male coworkers were slacking on.

He had never quite mastered the art of putting up and shutting up. A stray comment had slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Obviously his bosses disagreed. It didn’t matter to Makki though as he simply said the two words that had since become a pattern in his career – “I quit.”

Your thumb continues to rub soothing circles on his wrist, something that he finds comfort in as he tells you that he’s become disillusioned with the corporate world since then. Nothing ever seemed to fit. There was no grand calling, no Ah-ha! moment to indicate that he was actually heading anywhere. Just one mindless job after the other.

“So yeah, that’s me,” he softly declares.

Your eyes suddenly shoot up to meet his and he struggles to hold your gaze. “You know what?” you start. “I think what you did was incredibly brave. I’m sure that your coworker appreciated it.”

He can’t help the dry laughter that escapes his throat. “I think the only thing I accomplished that day was making an ass of myself, but thanks.”

Your hands reach up to both of his cheeks. “No, you listen to me Hanamaki Takahiro,” you command.

His eyebrows raise. “This must be serious if you’re pulling out my full name.”

You shake your head and roll your eyes at his comment but shoot him a small grin nonetheless. “That was incredibly brave of you and that firm didn’t deserve you anyway.”

He finds himself at a loss for words. No one had ever validated his experiences before. Even his friends thought he was being too impulsive with his decisions. Reckless, they had said. But here you are, with your hands on both sides of his face, forcing him to start believing that maybe he was brave. Maybe he could be braver.

“Fuck that company, right?” he can smell the slight hint of alcohol on your breath as well as the citrusy fragrance that was so inherently you that it transported him back to driving around dimly lit Miyagi streets in his dad’s beat-up truck with you singing your heart out to Taylor Swift beside him.

“Fuck that company,” he agrees before deciding to say fuck it himself as his hand reaches out to tilt your jaw up towards him.

“May I?” his question comes out in a whisper just barely loud enough to hear over the sound of conversation around you.

“Makki!”

He nearly curses out loud as a familiar voice calls out his name and then yours. You nearly jump back at the interruption while Makki has to restrain himself from punching his other best friend.

Being friends with Matsukawa Issei for as long as he has, Makki knows that Mattsun never had good timing and it seems that he still doesn’t as he haphazardly throws both arms around the two of you.

“My best buds!” he exclaims and Makki can immediately tell that Issei stayed true to his word and had downed a few beers before attending the reunion.

You giggle at Mattsun’s drunken antics obviously not privy to the frustration building inside of Makki. He had waited over a decade to even have a chance as good as that one with you.

He bites the inside of his cheek and counts to ten in his head.

“Issei, could I just talk to her in private please?” he asks as politely as he can muster.

Mattsun’s eyes go from you to Makki before his mouth opens into a wide O.

“Of course! Of course!” he exclaims. “Anything for my best bud and my baby.”

You laugh as the other man shoots finger guns at the two of you.

My baby.

Mattsun’s words replay in his head and Maki can feel the fire of emotions he had locked inside that box roar in anguish before being promptly extinguished.

He clears his throat hoping to get a better handle on himself.

“You and Issei?” he steels himself for your response.

Even in the low light, he can’t ignore the dusting of red that coats your cheeks at the mention of the other man’s name.

Your nod is almost imperceptible. “Yeah. I moved back to Miyagi a couple of months ago and we’ve just... I dunno. Clicked.”

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He was sure that the universe had made it a habit to knock him down just when he felt like he was slowly making his way back up.

“I hope he’s making you happy.”

The way you flush and giggle tells him everything he needs to know.

He moves to stand but your hand is on his again.

“Hey,” your eyes are on his again but this time he avoids them. “I thought there might have been something you wanted to tell me?”

He shakes his head forcing himself to put on an air of indifference. His hand lays atop yours and for a second, you derive comfort from his warmth, but that feeling stops as quickly as it begins as he gently moves your hand back to your side.

“It’s not important anymore.” You don’t miss the way the smile he has on isn't reflected in his eyes.

“Are you sure?” you ask.

He nods, looking everywhere but at you. “Of course. And hey,” he calls your name. “I wish you and Mattsun all the happiness. We’ll keep in touch this time, yeah?”

He walks away before you can reply.

A heavy arm slings itself over your shoulder and soon you are engulfed by Mattsun’s presence.

“Hey, what did Makki wanna tell you?” he pulls you in closer and you feel yourself melt as he places his head atop yours.

“Nothing important,” you reply and tilt your head up to plant a soft kiss on your boyfriend’s jaw.

Taglist: @snowcoveredkiss @sweetkoshi

(me being a hanamaki simp is all Kat’s fault 😌)

#hanamaki takahiro #matsukawa issei #hanamaki x reader #matsukawa x reader #haikyuu #fluff #angst #hanamaki x y/n #matsukawa x y/n #mattsun #hazel.writes #hanamaki #matsukawa

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darthwheezely · 4 years ago

Note

okay im backkkkk 💌 anything kinda angsty for fred pls (like a break up but theres a bit of making up at the end pls

resentment and reconciliation- f.w. hcs

Warnings: this one kinda hurt to write I’m ngl, I love you Jess but DAMN - cussing probably, mentions of slut shaming, actual smut, a lOT OF ANGST, hateful!fred

THIS WILL BE SO UNGODLY LONG THIS IS BASICALLY A PSUEDO ONE SHOT

people that might like this(?): @whiz-bangs78 @vogueweasley @theweasleyslut @loony-loopy-lupinn @lupinsclassroom @vivianweasley @oh-for-merlins-sake @kitwalker02 @tatesimper @gcdric @slytherinsunrise @lumosandnoxwriting

you and Fred were friends...

...simply friends

yep

mhm

only friends

friends that liked to casually dominate each other multiple times a week

sometimes multiple times a day

but regardless of your entirely messy relationship, you were best friends

...weren’t you?

“Fuck, Y/N, you’re so goddamn tight me,” Fred hissed as he was pounding inside of you, determined to release some kind of frustration from seeing you with George for the whole day when you both knew you had really just wanted to spend the day with Fred. Right?

“Freddie, you feel so good” you said airily as he hiked up one of your legs onto one of his shoulders.

“Yeah, princess? You like the way I fill you up so good, make you fucking mine?” When you moaned in response he threw your other leg onto the opposite shoulder, determined to show you just how much you were his, and what that meant for him. He had been watching you for months pretend nothing was happening outside this room, and regardless if you knew it or not, it had been killing him the day he agreed to your rendezvous the first time.

“Yes, Freddie, fuck, yes”

“Gonna come for me, sweet girl?”

“God, yes, Fred-“ and with a harsh thrust to your g-spot you clenched around him tightly, your body releasing onto him in a massive wave. He put his free hand that didn’t have your arms pinned above you to your clit, determined to have you as overstimulated as possible.

“Fred, please-“ you whined vehemently at his rough touch.

“I’m coming baby, I’m right here” and with a final pound he had smoothed your walls with him, the throbbing finally subsiding. He rolled his hips slowly to ride out his high, and he then pulled out, falling to your side and pulling you into his arms. He could feel your heart pounding as your breasts heaved against him, desperate for air flow where he had rid you of it all.

“We haven’t held each other like this in a while, Freddie...it’s...it’s really nice.” You whispered against his bare chest, pressing a kiss or two there. He nodded and buried his mouth in your hair, fluttering his eyes.

“I promise I’ll take every opportunity to hold you, okay?”

that was tuesday

let’s skip to Thursday morning

you had only told one other person about your complicated relationship with Fred, and that was Hannah Abbot

you trusted her, you saw her as your BEST friend

but unfortunately, good ol’ hannah didn’t really feel the same

she had it out for you when Roger Davies had confessed he had a crush on you at the Yule Ball, kissed you even, against your consent

see, he was Hannah’s date

and she didn’t like that very much

to top it allllll off?

she had been casually crushing on Fred ever since she had her heart broken by Roger

so now here you all were, seventh year and you assumed as per usual that everything was fine

when clearly, unbeknownst to you

this bitch saw you six feet under

so Hannah did what she knew would hurt you the most

she told Roger :)

“Please he’s absolutely balls deep in love with her, but poor thing doesn’t know she’s using him for a roll in the sack.” Said Hannah, filing her nails in the courtyard. Roger looked at her absolutely dumbfounded.

“No, Y/N, isnt like that. And besides, Fred’s a good mate of mine and...She just wouldn’t do that to him. Feelings or not, she’s not one to use people.” He shook his head starting to get up from the tree he’d been leaning on.

“Well, she used you, didn’t she?” She purred demurely. He turned to look at her, jaw clenched.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He gritted out.

“She’s making him her personal whore, exactly like she did when she rejected you at the Ball...I mean...cmon, Rog. Don’t people deserve to know who she really is?”

everyone had heard the next day how Y/N was fucking Fred Weasley like an Olympic sport

and how he wasn’t the one coming out on top for the first time

at first he didn’t know what he did when he walked into the Great Hall to stares and whispers

George had tried to get him to go back to bed so he could bring him food

but fred demanded answers

and when he found out what it was

...he was crushed

You walked into the cascading staircase, bounding up the stairs. It was Thursday night, you and Fred’s night to be alone while George and Lee would be hanging out. You walked into the room to see Fred, throwing things onto his bed and looking angry and...hurt?

“Fred, what-what is all this?” He didn’t look at you, just continued to pick stuff up off the floor, and got one of your bras. He threw it at you.

“It’s all your shit, Y/N. Might as well help since this is the last time you’ll ever be in my room. Or around me again quite frankly.” He started to look down again and keep working but he heard you whimper and his eyes flashed up to yours. He started to laugh harshly. “Oh my god, stop.” He rolled his eyes and threw his arms out. “You got what you wanted from me didn’t you, Y/N? Quick shag and no feelings and knowing you had an entire fucking human being completely and utterly devoted to you with, what did Ron say? ‘Half the commitment’?” He smiled at you but it was one with rage, with tears pooling at his eyes, pain emitting off his body in hot waves. He didn’t even know he was shouting.

“I mean, Jesus, I’m in love with you and you got to go on and-and fuck whoever you want because guess what at the end of the day you get to tell everyone that Fred fucking Weasley is your own personal whore and would do anything for you and that just got you where you wanted it didn’t it? Didn’t it?” He had stopped yelling, his heart pounding as he took in the sight of you fully in tears now, flinching at him quietly. He felt immediately then like he was going to throw up, something wasn’t right, you usually were so fiery and assertive and here you were looking like a dog that got kicked repeatedly. He swallowed thickly. “Get your stuff and get the fuck out I can’t stand the sight of you.”

Without looking at him you reached onto his bed and grabbed everything you could carry, and swiftly left the room. Everyone in the Gryffindor common room, except George, looking at you with pure unbridled disdain.

George was the only it seemed, that cared about you at this time for the next couple weeks

He didn’t tell Fred, but it had been George that had been sneaking up food to you in your dorm room

It had been George that had sent you little notes in class that said things like

I love you, Y/N. I believe in you, okay?

He even visited your dorm one day when you couldn’t move so much as one leg off your bed, and he caught you then, while you were sobbing about the loss of Fred and yourself and he held you and put you back in bed

and waited until you fell back asleep and moved the hair out of your face

he needed to tell Fred the truth

meanwhile, Fred was floundering

he had fallen back into his coping mechanism of sex and violence, mostly the first one

he had started hooking up with virtually everyone in his year that he’d ever rejected

after all - fred was labeled as a slut so why not act like one

if there was anything Fred was good at, it was being loud

in bed it had never been an issue - in fact, it was a talent now, yeah?

he’d been hearing it around school for weeks now

how easy he was

how much he would do to get in a girl’s pants

how he dipped his wick in anything that moved

anything and everything

he got it from girls

“c’mon freddie can i take a ride just once”

to the guys

“Oi freddie, you let your mates hit it for free too?”

if it were from a guy he’d usually swing a punch

or 12

he’d gotten in his most fights that he ever had in any of his years at hogwarts

but then Georgie came along:

George had waited on Fred’s bed, as his twin was in the shower. Lucky for Fred, George had been able to trace Roger’s little dip in the gossip system all the way back to Hannah Abbott, who everyone knew was bullshit, and had decided to let his brother know exactly what kind of a supreme asshat he was being to their best friend (and the love of Fred’s life, let’s be super honest.)

“Georgie, what the hell are you doing-”

“About to give you the whip cracking of your life, dear brother.” George swung his legs off the bed as Fred continued to dry his hair in the mirror, rolling his eyes.

“Is this about the last girl I had by? We didn’t fuck on your bed if that’s what you’re so worried about.” Fred quipped and George took everything in his power to not bitch slap the hell out of his older twin. George clenched his jaw and rolled it.

“You fucked up, Freddie.” He said quietly. Fred turned slowly to look at him. “Excuse me?”. “You. Fucked. Up.” George said a bit louder. “Y/N got played. By Hannah Abbott and Roger Davies. She’s had a crush on you this whole time, you absolute dumb piece of shit.” And then George did push Fred then backwards onto the bathroom wall, but he was too dumbfounded by the usually sensible twin’s behavior to do anything back.

“That’s-I don’t understand-“

“Oh my god, Fred. Hannah’s been in love with for ages, she lied. To everyone. Roger did too, he’s wanted to get with Y/N since day 1 you know that just as well as I do.” Fred tightened his arm, thinking about Roger with his lips and arms on you that night last year-

“Your point? She still said that shit about me” he said gruffly, but a pool of anxiety swirled in his stomach all the same

“Don’t you get it? Y/N is in love with you. She didn’t say or do anything to hurt you. At all. She hasn’t been eating, she hasn’t been doing homework, she throws up constantly, she’s barely left bed but to go to the library and usually all she does there is sleep anyway, she cries all the time and it’s been me making sure she still is present if not to just see people every damn day! So quit youre moping and fix this shit or I swear to God, Freddie, I’ll knock your block off.” George was heaving, pools of water in his eyes as he swallowed. “She’s my best friend too, you know.”

Fred looked up at George then and had started to cry. All of those things he said, all of the words he spat at her like they could burn her skin and cause some of the pain he believed she had caused him, when in reality you had-you had done nothing wrong.

“Georgie, I’m sorry” he choked.

“I know you are. But I’m not the one to say it to right now...you’ve gotta find her, Freddie. Please.”

you had been in the corner of the quidditch stands

the wind was blowing against your hair

you couldn’t be in your room anymore, it started to smell like you

and you, prior to an hour ago, didn’t smell too appetizing

you reeked of sweat and tears and your own sick

you took a shower so hot you wanted it to burn you alive

maybe sanitize the last of your fear and your hurt away

you had lost weight, you had lost feeling

you all in all had just lost

and you had never wanted to go home so badly, already considering writing home

you hated being reminded that your best friend and crush hated you

wanted you to be hated by everyone else too

but then, you heard footsteps

“Y/N?” Fred whispered to himself as he saw you in the stands. You looked so worn, so lifeless sitting there - he almost didn’t recognize you from the way your hair, usually scrunched up and bouncy had fallen flatly against your face, further slapped around by the wind outside. You had been wearing an oversized sweater and your sweatpants had pooled around your ankles. Simply put, you were miserable.

“Y/N?” He called again once he was standing in front of you. You turned to look at him in what felt like slow motion, but when you locked eyes with him, you immediately felt fearful.

“I-I’m sorry, I’ll leave now” you sputtered

“No, hey, wait, please” he reached out to grab your arm and you froze, letting him take it. He looked at you, with a flash of fear and worry on your face and he wanted to throw up knowing he was the one that made you feel like that.

“Fred, please let go” you hoarsely whispered.

“No, love, I’m not going to let go I have some things to apologize for.”

You started to cry, eyes dropping again to his hand on your arm and breathing feeling suddenly like a very hard task. “You hate me now: you sobbed and you pulled yourself from his grip, turning away from him and gathering your bag. He started to scramble for your hold again tears starting to stream down his face

“No, angel, please, I could never hate you”

“Oh? What about those things you said to me in your room-” you were walking faster over the benched seats, making your way to the other side.

“I know I know I said those things in my room but I can’t believe them because you have to believe me when I tell you I’m in love with you” and he was sobbing at your body turned away from him. You turned to look at him with a skeptical quirk of your face.

“No, no you don’t.” You spat.

“Yes, Y/N, I do please let me explain” he said earnestly taking in your bright eyes and the furrow of your brow.

“People who love each other don’t scream at them and throw things.” You said flatly. You wanted him to be true but you couldn’t make yourself believe him.

“Just give me five minutes of your time and-and if you hate me you never have to see me again. Please.” He closed the gap between you two and motioned for you to sit down. You licked a tear from your lip and nodded siting on a bench besides him.

“Hannah and Roger told everyone-”

“I know what happened. What they did. I want to hear about you. And what you said. And are saying” you looked at him in the eyes with steel burning behind your irises.

He sighed and rubbed his jaw. “I thought that what we had was purely sex in your eyes. And I was too much of a coward to ever ask you, so when I heard someone tell me that my own insecurities could possibly be true,” he inhaled a harsh breath as tears started to fall “I-I was crushed. By the idea that you saw me as what other people saw me as...as a toy? I guess? Or a sexual prop? To use when you wanted. But I hide my feelings a lot as you know, so even if you did feel that way, it would’ve looked like I agreed because I hate you knowing how sad I am,” he started to choke on his tears, the anguish of knowing he hurt you this much was too much for him to ever be able to handle. “I just wanted to hold you and whisper in your ear and tell you how much I love you and the thought of my own fears being true pushed you away. And you never have to forgive me. I-when I yelled at you like that I wanted to see you hurt, I think. I wanted you to see how sad it made me to think about you with other people like you had been with me and” he took a final breath and you pulled his body into you. “Y/N, my love I’m so sorry.” His sobs shook your body, the feeling and angle of the destroyed boy you love shaking you everywhere. You pressed kisses to his head. “Freddie, I love you” you repeated “I love you here and here and here and here and here” and with every kiss you gave him, you were determined to soothe him. “I-I’ sorry too, for not being as forthright with you about how i felt too. It’s always been you, Freddie.” He choked out a watery smile and he leaned in to kiss your face everywhere he could, his tears stinging against the wind and your cheeks.

“If-If you could ever be with me I will always be open to it at any time, you know that don’t you? I-I understand if you can’t.” He held his forehead to yours, his nose brushing yours ever so slightly.

“Freddie, I love you. You were who I missed when I couldn’t get out of bed for fuck’s sake you’re all I want,” and he leaned into you then fully, capturing your wet and chapped lips against his. Your arms wrapped around his neck and he melted into you like this

this

this was fred weasley

#fred weasley #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley headcanons #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley smut #harry potter #harry potter headcanon #Harry Potter smut

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allkinds-oftrash · 3 years ago

Text

The Crown S5E4 Commentary

Non-Spoiler Gist: I have been WAITING for this episode! It wasn’t as dramatic as I expected but I still enjoyed it! There was an unexpected plot with Margot I really enjoyed and it was a great introspective episode for Lizzie. I LOVED the self-awareness all of them had in this episode.

Spoilers Under Cut:

Oooh interesting choice starting at the end of the year and her getting ready to give the speech Lmaoo "She's not getting the sympathy she wants" I'M CACKLING

Aights let's go 1992 please deliver the drama

Oooh we're starting with Margaret also I forget how religious some of them are then they talk abt their faith Margot you keep smoking like that you're going to be dead in 10 years 🤡🤡 (Bad joke Ik I'll see myself out)

OHMYGOD IS THAT OLD TOWNSEND?? IT IS I'M SCREAMING! I loved them so much in S1

Ahahah Lizzie "I'm not sure it was love" She's funny when she wants to be "Why what's it to you" LMAO these sisters I swear

Ohmygod is that Andrew?? Ew it is WHY DID THEY MAKE HIM ATTRACTIVE NO STOP IT PETER MORGAN He does look like irl Andrew and Tom Byrne (young Andrew) props to the casting dept once again

He's so cavalier about Sarah's affairs I can't??? This is kinda funny ngl SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T WANNA KNOW AND THEN HE PROCCEEDED TO TELL HER DJLDJSK I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING Also don't you dare sneer at Sarah in Saint Topaz Andrew we all know you were probably at Epstein's Island He's okay with sexual harassment/assault and pedophila but putting someone's foot in his mouth is where he draws the line???

GOOD BE HUMILIATED you prick The D word LMAO Andrew you're a grown ass man, say Divorce Lizzie you damn well know those aren't the words Ahhahahah the way he said "Divorce, Mummy" he sounded like Adele I'm screaming

I take it back, THIS IS THE WORST PERSON I know who made a great point. Gotta applaud him for being self aware about destroying anyone who is different in this family

Lmaooo Margot's start to that letter, hilarious Oh there he is - Townsend. I'm too happy to see him back to complain too much abt how he doesn't really look like his predecessor

Awww Anne and Tim she's so in love with him. Honestly one of their redeeming qualities is their love for one another.

Margot is having the time of her life; good for her! Omg my hearttt I forgot the chokehold Margot and Townsend had on me zhksnsks

LMAO “FERGIE'S STOLEN” headline I'm cracking up Hsjshsj Lizzie is having a ball isn't she. Two children want divorces another one wants to get remarried when the Church forbids it 🤡🤡

Yessss Anne DROP THOSE ENGAGMENT NUMBERS,,, W&K could never 💀💀 I love how derisive she is. She really is a badass, pity that she's most likely a racist

Awww Margot and Townsend's Greatest Hits scenes 😭😭😭 I AM SOFT WELP THAT GOT ANGSTY It was nice to see the young versions again I missed Vanessa Kirby

HAHAHA DI'S BOOK IN CHARLES' FACE as she should be Prince Harming ahahhah Boy I can call you worse things Ew God's law is marriage for life 🤡🤡 God wants yall want to be happy, he told me himself FREEE DIANA Damn Charles go off shskjs

Lmaooo this ep is Favourite's older sister dbdkkd it's all coming around Yes you were a neglectful mother Lizzie you gave them all several parental issues shskks

Who is this man?? Porchey?? Oh lmao no he's a priest

Okay this is the one thing I won't laugh at. I didn't know this year included a castle fire. No one deserved to have their house burnt down no matter how decadent it is.

Holy shit this looks the Baudelaires Mansion after their fire. This is so sad but also amazing set design Holy shit my heart hurts

Not Margo and Townsend taking stock of the paintings xhdkjejd God they're so cuteeeee ny hearttt

Not Margot accusing Di of burning down building LMAO SHE'S LISTING THEM ALL Fair enough Margot nskdksk

NOT HER SAYING HERSELF D a m n the regret and bitterness of having lost Townsend is STRONG Yesss Leslie what a speech!! Holy shit not the parallels between Anne/Tim and Margot/Townsend God I wanna hug Margo Ohmygod she said ittt she called Lizzie the fuck out

Annus Horriblis INDEED

Tbh I really wasn't expecting the Margot of it all but I am living for it (I wanted to see Anne/Mark and Andrew/Sarah's marriages break down further on screen and them announcing the divorces)

"I don't want to pull out" That's what (s)he said 🤡🤡 Not Queen Mother lecturing her on the speech like ma'am your daughter is 66 years old let her do what she wants Not her sneering at Lizzie being depressed God I hate this bitch

Phillip being THE Wife Guy this season is something I did not expect Like he has been since S3 but like it's dialled up even more this season which makes the upcoming affair with Penny even more sad

She said it!! Annus Horriblis! I will say I appreciate this speech from her it humanised her in the eye of the public after years of never saying anything

Girlies named their dogs after alcoholic drinks lmaoo love this for them

Living for the self awareness of being blamed for everything and for most things, it is true Lizzie

The way they said I love you and was like This is too middle class let's never do it again I'm screaming

#The Crown #The Crown Season 5 #The Crown Spoilers

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azumasoroshi · 4 years ago

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okay this is kinda long overdue BUT i have many noumu hawks sketches and i just think they’re kinda neat

first sketch! note that the “BONE WINGS???” never became a reality, but I have entertained the idea in some other wips.

Bone wings are the coolest thing ever man idk what to say

and yeah the boa came from ujiko in the final because i don’t think dabi would have a feather boa hanging around and ujiko is just weird enough for it to be less questionable

the boa has no symbolism i swear its just a replacement for hawks’ fluffy coat

working on the face was. interesting

(this one made me giggle uncontrollably for about five minutes)

the eyes look better here LMAO

the split face was a cool idea, but i ended up not going with it in the end mostly because it looked kinda weird LOL

full outline!

one of my discord members said that hawks looked like he had little t-rex arms and i havent stopped laughing at it since

personally i was aiming for him to be copying dabi’s frankenstein pose, and i think it ended up looking more like the “is he....yknow...” meme so many different interpretations here it seems

the general color scheme! note the second pair of wings added lmfao

his claws look weirder every time i look at them but. these drawings were made in december give me a break

more sketches! these are pretty bad ngl (when noumu hawks has more of an ass than living hawks) but they give off the creepy vibes he was intended to have pretty well i think

it was at this point that i really started to forget that noumu hawks was supposed to have a scar over his eye like in canon, so that got completely omitted from YLMTM unfortunately

it was also at this point that i started drawing the mouth tearing open through noumu hawks’ face all over my schoolwork and my teachers would be like “ayo what the fuck is this” and i wouldnt be able to respond because 1. id have to explain noumu 2. id have to explain hawks 3. id have to explain why hawks was a noumu 4. id have to explain dabihawks and just. no thank you

oh MAN this was a doozy

i can’t recall if this exact scene happened in YLMTM but it’s just noumu hawks protecting dabi and dabi being like nooo

while i was drawing it i was like “this is so cool omg” and then i finished it and i was like “oh hell naw”

this was drawn in march, so not too long ago! i’d like to go back and edit it a bit, but ibispaint crashes my entire tablet every time i try to open it because there’s so many layers, so i’ve resigned myself to never being able to fix it unless i redraw everything, unfortunately.

still pretty proud of those wings though like goddamn

and here we get to the most recent update to noumu hawks’ design! i drew this like two days ago so it’s pretty indicative of my current style hehe

i’m sure i’ll find all the problems with it soon enough but right now i think that looks pretty damn good

i changed up the eyes and claws a bit, and i think they look better now :D

i have many more sketches but most of them are on paper homework and aren’t very good, so that’s all for now lol

anyway if you’re seeing this on your dash and you have no idea what im talking about or what YLMTM is, boy do i have the angsty dabihawks fanfiction for you

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30914087

#dabihawks #hotwings #bnha hawks #takami keigo #dabi #todoroki touya #bnha #noumu hawks #tw blood #ylmtm #read your life mattered the most

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sf9-ent · 3 years ago

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Mbti anon again. I'll try to make the blog when finals are over maybe lol. Also no need to apologize, i enjoyed reading your answer. It was really interesting. I probably should've explained the cognitive functions tho lol bc that's actually the best way to type people😅 this is probably gonna be long sorry

So in mbti, there's cognitive functions. It's how each type processes info, makes judgements and decisions, how they express, etc. There's 8, each type has 4 as their main set and the other 4 are hidden. They can be developed alongside the main set tho; sometimes they show through stress. Introverted functions are internal based, analysis, and reflective(Ni, Ti, Fi, Si). Extroverted functions are external and rely on environment, action oriented(Ne, Te, Fe, Se). N = intuition, T = thinking, F = feeling, S = sensing.

I'll just use Chani bc I'm sure we're both INTJs lol. INTJ stack: Ni - Te - Fi - Se. He has the lame Ni sense of humor lol, he does make some dumb jokes ngl but I still laugh at them. I think it shows well in the way he talks and writes. I can't remember the exact details(which i think is also the case with chani adjdj. Ni is more impressionistic, so yes a lot of INxJs tend to have awful memory lol. Also why i doubt he's ISTJ - ISTJ uses Si, which is reliant on past experiences, structure, more detail oriented, concrete. He can barely remember their bdays lol), but he wrote a letter to hwi on his bday once right? He briefly mentioned their past experiences together and looked more towards their future. Ni is more future oriented. Te is shown through his straightforwardness and how hard working he is. He's pretty much been working his whole life, so I guess that's just natural. His Fi actually seems well developed. He's not angsty or detached, he's honestly...pretty soft. He's very expressionless tho lol, very common with intjs(the amount of times i've been told to smile😑😑 i cant help my rbf). Fi can't be bothered to fake emotions, is a lot more private too. Se is his last, the inferior function(the function that fucks you up until you learn to use it correctly lmao. For me since I also have this, it's being clumsy af and relying on physical things under stress...Se is focused on the environment and 5 senses, so eating too much or spending way too much time on my phone, etc). I don't rly think Chani is clumsy, but he has like...impulsive moments lol. Se is reactive and when chani gets annoyed, he can be physical lol. Also why he's kinda slow lol i'm slow too. I haven't seen him under a lot of stress yet(maybe he has already shown it? I'm still like a new fantasy lol barely 7 months, so i'm sure there's a lot about sf9 i still need to learn)

Honestly there's a lot more...tempted to explain the others but i think this is already too long. I hope this all makes sense. I can explain more if you want or google can lol

Ooh damn omg, you've rlly got this typing thing down pat haha 😅 I definitely should've had a proper look at the letters, the functions sound so interesting! Tbh I still don't fully understand them but I'll do my own reading when I'm free for sure 👍

With what youve said abt chani, intj makes sense 👀 (esp with what you said abt his awful memory, I genuinely thought I was bad, but he takes it to a whole other level ahjdkdk)

Anywayy, you sound like you rlly know what you're talking abt! I'm sure the blog will be a big success, esp with cool in detail explanations like this per person, so send us a link when you get up to it 😁

Good luck!

#sf9 #chani #anon #answered by mod a

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ibelonginthepast · 4 years ago

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okay I need your klance fic recs(i feel like you have really good taste)(i mean your icon is literally THE keith of course you have god tier taste)

okay so the thing is.. that when i say am kinda messed up and disgusting sometimes... and becoming a madwoman... am not over exaggerating or saying it in a funky way.. i actually am getting like that .. and that's how i got into the klance fandom initially. i project through lance and read really langsty fics.. and they are messed messed with like violent nsfw, gore, horror, serious mental health issues etc? so if u want those... i'll only send them if u want?

yeah tho i entered with this thingy that klance is gonna be like my guilty pleasure or some shit but them i inevitably fell in love with some GORGEOUS fanfictions out there and KEITH KOGANE in all shapes sizes genders and ages so lol...

but they aren't flowery. that's just not my taste. Some of them might be "problematic"? it's in quotes because i don't agree with it. it's not going to be problematic in plain ignorant sense like racial issues or blatant sexism or mental abuse.... but they might have like stuff which people dont always agree with like drugs. most of them would have nsfw it's just something that i need to have for feels and that's why i asked if u minded it. some things are like more subjective,, characterizations for example, cause like some people dont think keith is a skirt guy cause he isnt in fashion but i think he is petty and rebellious so he will defo do that? some of them would have like physical fights and stuff.. or keith and lance being mean to each other.. some ugly habits which aren't necessarily condemned like anger or drugs.? but with how i see it, it's not glorified, so i see them as human. i love the raw and ugly in these or idk its just human to me (but some people dont like which is completely valid cause we are all different from different environments and think different and resonate with different stuff.)

wait addition: i think some of them will have sexist themes? which i have complained about a lot before. i dont know why authors feel the need to somehow put women down to show how a mlm relationship without any women is superior or some shit it's annoying as fuck i hate it. i dont think i would have any especially sexist fics here, but there might be some with lowkey themes and bad handling of those issues. some of them mau have that subtext of disgusting heteronormative standards, but in subtext uk like bottom lance having a small waist and being giggly and all in contrast to big bulk keith.

here are some that i had bookmarked... but i may remember some more and then send them to u and or add them here...

a heads up.. i dont remember all of them very well. its been a while and i read fanfictions A LOT so yeah.. incase one slips up here which isnt very good am sorry dont judge me

the bold ones are the ones u should really check out if our taste is similar.

to begin with plain f l u f f,, my first klance bookmark was How Could I Say No? by Padfoots_Pawprint. tws for violence, bullying, injury BUT it's not actually gory or something like that it's just keith being keith and getting hurt and lance helping my boi like he should. it made me feeeeeeeel ksksk

this was one that kinda really touched me,, Wasted youth, Cryptids, and Waterboys by Baea THIS HAS EXPLICIT NSFW in it, the first chapter kicks off with it.. its a good fuck buddies to lovers in my opinion.. i love the writing style, the choice of how it's just a couple entries of random days in their lives. i love keith's characterization.. he is a hobo and a conspiracy nerd.. i love how down for him lance is, very dedicated. i love their growth.. i love how they help each other grow,, and it's so like real and usual day to day and human and down to earth idk how else to express it. this is INCOMPLETE. it's 12 chapters and discontinued as of now,, but it's not a deadly cliffhanger

similar in style and approach to the above. tho i think here is where it gets dubious. Easy, Tiger. by @/WhatTheBodyGraspsNot ... this is INCOMPLETE too and as of now discontinued. this has that sorta murky vibe with it's drug usage, them being teenagers in school and engaging in stuff like this, bad boy keith and all. this has nsfw too. i just remember really liking it and its very raw and unfiltered. tho it's incomplete it's not an open ending for now.

okay so i am restarting this but am upset as fuck that it all got deleted so i am gonna be lazy and not put as much effort as i did.

i have also Crowd Pleaser bookmarked by the same author,, this one's complete and it has some serious issues around gaslighting if i remember correctly... i really liked it then. keith is literally an angel here, i want to kidnap him and marry him literally. the s h w ee t e s t shit ,, and i like how lance gives him all the support and space to get his shit together

Drummer boy by klancekorner,, i think it's similar to the prev one, but lance's pov(which is what i prefer ngl). this authors fanfics are all just wholesome. i had put links to all their fics before, but imma now just say that u should go and check all their fics out. i have them all bookmarked, i must have seen something in them (can't remember what now tho and i cant be bothered to skim through them like last time *rolls eyes*)

War of hearts? idk why honestly, just ik keira has made me gay, and lesbian rejection angst? garrison? yes :) it's incomplete, conveniently left at the point where lance's heart is broken lol

Fuck buddies with benefits. THE NAME IS BAD I KNOW but i just love the idea of a dedicated mess of a keith and lance taking care of him. that's it that's the fic if i remember correctly. oh wait yeah u might think keith is not treating lance right, but i think it's fine if lance is treated a bit stupid. this is a bit too sex driven tho i dont like it but just SLEEPDEPRIVED KEITH TO TAKE CARE OF IMMA SIGN UP (ik this maybe coming off toxic but lol look at me)

Rambling: THIS WAS ME.

Last Defense: TW SUICIDE this is literally the langst i have for canon lance

I want something else: bad boy keith can break my limbs and cut my face and i will thank him

A thank you would be nice: keira damn

game-set-match: b a d b o y

I swear to go the devil made me do it: my typically fav trop, hardcore pining lance, literally perfect angsty keith. very similar to the top ones ig? idk also this one is one of my comparatively recent sane bookmarks so that's something. it starts off weird, u think it gon be subtly sexist but it turns out better so hold on

you've got me locked up: i think it's delinquent keith,, its floofy

Dad lance and tattoo artist keith: the name says it

damn while going through my bookmarks i realized that there are a lot of things i never bookmarked? i am pretty sure i loved a lot of long fanfictions, flower shop aus and tattoo artists shit wtf-

wait here's one, it's not complete: Blood jumps in the sun: it's very heavy has a lot of growth and kinda wholesome,, tags and summary will give u an idea what u getting in.

The lessons we learned: can't remember much other than florist keith, sad keith, smart keith, really long, pining

damn i think i have a lot of happy ones i didn't bookmark cause my brain was like u dont deserve the serotonin :( i'll add if i have more)

some actually angsty, detailed nsfw and messy (according to the way u interpret these) ones... lemoninagin.. they have some very detailed and explicit nsfw stuff but i am not there for it. some of it has the kind of angst i like? an actual one that i love and they recently posted and the reason am putting them here is infinitesimal. best friends to lovers and tho usually it's not my cup of tea.. it's a character study, an interpretation of klance in a modern world i dare say,, which is very similar to mine. the thing about them is that i like their characterization a lot, and in no love in this, i like what kind of background stories they give to klance in their aus. i haven't read many by them, so if u want u can check them out.

i just realized i have put some lowkey sad/fucked fics here... i did remove 5 rn... i hope its all good damn why am i doing this i feel like am putting myself naked out there when i recommend my favs

#dont reblog

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polar-stars · 5 years ago

Note

Hey I'm kinda dry on ideas so can you please give me ideas for a SNS AMV please?

:0?

Oh, that’s an unique question :000 But, sure...I can try. I gotta say in advance though that I’ve never been that big of a source for music ovo;; I’m kinda one of these people who listens to the same 20 songs in a row for 3 months and then discovers one new one to add to the list.

If anyone comes along this post and has more ideas, feel free to add them ;w;

General Songs, that I’d say might be fun to experiment editing with:

- Panic! At the Disco, I’d say has quite some AMV-Worthy songs in their repertoire :0 Like ngl, whenever I listen to their song “Victorious” I actually picture an AMV for a specific Shokugeki-Match that will take place in the future of my Next Gen Fanfic whooPS ahdshdh (Yeah, I’m an absolute nerd. You’re free to laugh) But I mean there’s also “Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time” which SLAPS

- Songs by Fall Out Boy also tend to be used for AMVs from what I’ve seen :0 “Phoenix” is one that comes into my mind that could be used well for an AMV

- It’s not by Fall Out Boy as a band but the singer participated in it...but yeah “Summer Days” by Martin Garrix was my number one summer song last year’s summer and I like it a lot and I have a feeling it could do well as AMV

- Little Mix is also? Kind of a good source for AMVs I’d say? Like “Salute” or “That’s My Girl” are songs that would come into my mind (Those work for Girl-Power AMVs)

- There’s also this band(?) Cash-Cash that makes HELLA catchy songs. Like HELLY CATCHY songs. Which I’ve seen used for AMVs multiple times already. A lot of their texts are on the more NSFW-Side though so ovo;;; Like especially “Sexin’ On The Dancefloor” (The title alone, duh) but ahdh it’s so damn catchy and I love it being perfectly honest. But yeah that one’s text-wise more on the dirty side but I’ve seen it being used for AMVs already

- “Him & I” is a song that I just like a lot, so in case you find any use for that I’d stan that. But I can’t come up with one myself ahdhd I’m sorry

- I used “Remember Me” by Ivan Torrent for an AMV with a Fantasy-Tone once and that was really enjoyable to me :0 Maybe for inspiration search up songs that go into that direction? A start would be “Kings and Queens and Vagabonds” by Ellem

- I have a soft spot for Lana del Rey songs if you’re in the mood for something slow. “Video Games” is pretty beautiful.

- “Dusk Till Dawn” by ZAYN and Sia is also a song I high-key enjoy and it might be usable for AMVs as well

Uh, to be a bit more specific maybe?

- You know, Totsuki is this really high-class academy full of rich kids right? Honestly...”Beautiful, Dirty, Rich” by Lady Gaga might be a choice for like....A Totsuki-Centric AMV(?) (Personally, it always makes me think of the 114th Gen of my Next Gen in specific but shUT UP LEA.......Okay but really the 114th Gen’s Theme song is “Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time” don’t @ me)

- “Money Honey” by Lady Gaga for EtsuNe, okay no...that’s a joke AHDHDS but really, I would laugh

- “Halo” by Beyoncé personally makes me think of SoRina....

- Maybe “Freaking Me Out” for SoRina as well

- Maybe “Prom Queen” by Molly Kate Kestner for a angsty Erina AMV? Maybe?? (I don’t know how angst works)

- I didn’t add it to my playlist back then but like “She’s Got That Light” by Orange Blue always makes me think of MarYu

- “Lighthouse” by G.R.L for EiRin....maybe? Or “Honeybee” by The Heard and the Heart

- My best friend once asked me for a joke-AMV of “7 rings” for Eizan. I refused to do this up to this point. But like....if anyone else wants to do this fucking request which only my best friend could give-

- The “Your Song” cover by Ellie Golding for TakuMegu perhaps? I think that could be cute 🤷🏻‍♀️

- uh....idk “Lover” by Taylor Swift for RyoAli or smth....I’m running out of ideas at this point. I’ve been scrolling up and down my Spotify Playlists for nearly a hour now or “Wildest Dreams” by Taylor for EtsuNe because I associate that song with them now after having played it 3 times when drawing them

- Okay last one but “Crazy in Love” by Sofia Karlberg makes me think of multiple ships actually so I’ll just leave it here ovo I can’t believe I’m ending this with a song from “Fifty Shades of Grey”

EDIT: “Point of no Return” by Starset for the RDC, “Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing” by Set it Off for the Central Elites added by @blas-i-us and welp “Rotten to the Core” from the movie Descendants added last minute by moi

THIS

WAS

A CHALLENGE

But I hope it was at least a little helpful

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vivacia-18 · 5 years ago

Text

May the 4th be with you recs!

Because fanfic is the reason I’m finally getting into Star Wars after all these years XDD

I’m gonna include the fic summaries and my takes, so plopping these under a cut for length. If you haven’t already read these, please go give them some love. And if you have, go give them some more! XD

I’m a fix-it, (at least mostly) everybody lives and (hopefully) nobody dies kinda gal, so while I certainly like something that hits in the feels, I don’t care for angst with no payoff at the end. Many of these are ongoing, but I’m confident enough in the overall feel of them to rec with that in mind. I also like long fics, so most of my recs will reflect that.

Hunting Towards Heartstill by blackkat

Pairing: Mace Windu/ CC-2224 Cody

Status: Complete, 45 chapters

Summary: Plo has an idea. Mace agrees, and everything snowballs right into hell from there.

(Or: Mace and Cody get married in order to give the clones citizen status. Before they can focus on that, though, they're going to have to deal with ancient Sith artifacts, evil prophets, plots to overthrow the Supreme Chancellor, lost planets, monsters warped by Sith alchemy, inconvenient feelings, and Darth Sidious turning his eye on a potential new apprentice. Just...not in that order.)

Notes: Kat’s going to have her whole section recc’d in a minute, but this one is near and dear to my heart, so it get’s a special spot. This is the one that got me into the Star Wars fandom at all. And by “into the fandom” I mean I have never seen/read a single piece of Star Wars media outside of gifsets and funky graphic t-shirts in my entire life. And now here we are XDD

In short, as with anything kat writes, the characterization is top-notch, the wit even more so, and the feels will leave you broken to pieces only to bring you back together better than when you started at the end of it all. Enjoy <3

All of blackkat’s Star Wars fics, by she who never expected to be a part of this fandom so everyone thank sol for being a bastard and cher for having terrible, amazing, tempting, too-good prompts XD

Notes: As promised, I did indeed just link all of blackkats Star Wars fics XD Most are one shots, with several longer ongoing, and one very special one complete. Pairings and settings will vary, but I can promise you one thing: you can absolutely trust kat with your heart, no matter how angsty it seems (tho take those cliffie warnings seriously!). Enjoy, and may the Force be with you! <3

The Hero With a Thousand Faces by beamirang

Pairing: Jango/Obi-Wan

Status: Part 1 is a one-shot prologue, part 2 ongoing

Summary: “We’re going to kidnap a Jedi?” Boba sounds far more excited by the prospect than most twelve-year-olds probably should. And, because he’s Jango’s boy, because he’s too kriffing smart for his own good, he catches on way too quickly. “Wait. Are we kidnapping your Jedi?”

Notes: Fantastic characterization and writing - very witty (as one would expect with Obi and Fett XD) but also excellent on the heavier emotional aspects as well.

The Desert Storm by Blue_Sunshine

Pairing: None

Status: 17 parts complete, part 18 ongoing

Summary: In Tatooine legend, the sandstorm is Lukka, the Fury, both cleansing and damning. Lukka, the slaves believed, was Justice, was he who remade the world, and remade the soul.The storm screams at him, and Obi-Wan Kenobi screams back.

Notes: It’s a time travel fic! It’s one of my favourite tropes when done correctly, and this one certainly does :) Love the characters, they have so much depth and growth over the series. And while this far it is 100% a “everybody lives nobody dies” kinda story, there is no sacrifice in plot or narrative tension. Wonderful proof that there can be other narrative stakes in a story than just character death.

Under One Flag by NeurotropicAgentX

Pairing: Padme Amidala/Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Maul

Status: Two single chapter parts. Marked as incomplete with no further updates since 2017, but the chapters stand alone, no cliffhangers.

Summary: The story of how Padmé Amidala becomes the reluctant Empress of the galaxy and acquires a pair of Force-sensitive bodyguards. Deals with the light and dark side conflict, the politics of an Empire, and Dathomirian Culture.

Notes: A fun little read! The dynamics between the three were interesting, and who doesn’t love the idea of Empress Padme? :D

By A Barista by Tomatosoupful

Pairing: Obi-Wan/Anakin

Status: Complete, 7 chapters

Summary: Obi-Wan/Anakin, Modern Coffee Shop AU unapologetically set in Australia. Some Star Wars story lines and character arcs adapted into modern coffee versions.Anakin doesn't really know why Qui-Gon hired him despite having no experience in coffee making or table service, and he knows this bothers the barista, Obi-Wan, but hey, at least he gets to look at the handsome guy while he complains.

Notes: Another fun little read! I love social disaster Ani in modern settings, ngl XD

The Snowball Effect by Ghost_Owl

Pairing: Obi-Wan/Anakin

Status: Complete, 2 chapters

Summary: Anakin had not meant to nail the cute guy from his building in the face with a snowball.Obi Wan had absolutely meant to hit him back.

Notes: Another cute read! Once again Ani is a disaster, and Obi-Wan only less so by direct comparison XD I particularly remember this story for the author coining the phrase I now recognize as my favourite paring trope - two halves of a whole idiot XDD

Reprise by Elfpen

Pairing: None

Status: 7 parts, current part ongoing

Summary: Ben Kenobi dies aboard the Death Star in the year 0 BBY. He wakes up shortly thereafter in the Jedi temple in the year 41 BBY. Haunted by memories and regret, Ben must forge a new path for himself in the Jedi Order of his youth while navigating the murky waters of time travel. Crafting a better future from bitter experience is hard, but learning to heal is even harder. Major AU.

Notes: This one I found on the heels of Desert Storm, and while they are initially cut from the same cloth, you’ll find they immediately develop their own unique flavours. If you like time-travel fix-its (which I do ;D) then this is a great read, and has some lovely art to go with it!

Life and What Comes After by Ibelin

Pairing: None

Status: First part one-shot complete, second part ongoing

Summary: Obi-Wan dies on Jabiim. Anakin blames himself, doesn't know how to go on and yet - he does. Maybe the Force rewards that kind of thing, or maybe he just gets lucky, but when a mission lands Anakin on a vaguely familiar planet, he gets a second chance to do what he knows he should have done in the first place: save his master.(And maybe a chance to save the galaxy, too.)

Notes: *Don’t worry, Obi-Wan does not in fact die!*

Ngl, what attracted me to this fic in the first place was the tag “Unrealistically Well-Adjusted Anakin Skywalker” X’D For all they say that though, his growth as a person is actually written very believably - he’s still Ani, but you see the work he put in. And damn do I love me some real communication between Obi and Ani, and damn do we ever get that here. Obi kinda backtracks that a bit with his own self-esteem issues in part two, but I have no doubt the boys will get through it!

Definitely recommend, it’s got some really wonderful family feels <3

Witness Me by SLWalker

Pairing: Obi-Wan/Maul

Status: 7 parts, final story part(s) ongoing (part 5 is the main series that’s ongoing, part 6 scattered one-shots, part 7 art for the series)

Summary: Instead of escaping to Lotho Minor, Maul's captured by the Order. Obviously, that changes everything.

Notes: I’m currently reading this one! The first several parts focus on building the relationship between Obi and Maul. Then in part 5 we start to focus more on Maul growing as his own person, though he is absolutely still Obi-Wans other half. Get ready for some clone feels, because I guarantee you will fall hard and fast for the Blackbirds once you meet them <3 <3 <3 I also appreciate that while there is definite censure for the Jedi council as a whole for certain decisions, and Anakin is his canon disaster self, there is no character bashing or throwing under buses, and conversely no hero worship either. Thus far everyone is treated fairly - I really enjoy that we tend to see not only several outside views of characters and situations, but also a lot of introspection as well.

If you’re in it for the people, this story is very much for you <3

#star wars #fanfiction #recs #may the fourth be with you #never thought I'd spend several hours of my life reccing star wars fanfic #but here we are XD #hope someone gets a good read outta this!#<3 <3 <3 #also really hope that readmore works #this thing is hecking looong ^^;

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randomingoftherandomness · 6 years ago

Text

endgame post

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS BENEATH THIS CUT

[Update] I made a Youtube review (still spoilery though). If you wanna support what I do, please consider buying me Ko-Fi

Firstly, there’s no after credits so don’t bother waiting around for that. Three hours is a long time to be holding your pee. Second, bring tissues. I was crying from the moment the title sequence rolled.

The main thing you need to know is that there was time travel courtesy of Scott Lang and the Pym particles in this film and a tonne of pop culture references in terms of time-travelling and it was all

The gist of the Time Heist was that they were gonna go back into time and get the Infinity Stones before Thanos could get to it and they figured out that if they hit the right year, there were already three stones on Earth (Mind, Space & Time). So our heroes split up into three teams to Pokemon Gotta Catch’em all.

Now, we’ll start with my favourite, the love of my life, Tony Stark. My man. We got them right that Carol Danvers definitely brought Nebula and Tony’s space ship back to Earth. There is a five year time jump in this film that saw Tony and Pepper get married (which regardless of how you may swing on Pepperony, YAY!) and have a child together, Morgan H. Stark who, let me tell you, I would die for because she is the perfect copy of Tony and I would not be surprised if one day they did a Young Avengers roster and she is there. Tony Stark having a child of his own and it is glooooriuuusss.

Steve Rogers got rid of the beard, and honestly I missed it ngl.

Let me just say that I adore, adore, adore them for not letting the Stony reunion be just a push by. They let it breathe and matter and it was every angsty Post-Civil War fanfic brought to life. They allowed Tony to lay it into Cap that this was what happened when you didn’t listen to me when I told you I saw this coming. There was a reference to the suit of armour statement from Age of Ultron and Tony laid it into Steve that look at what we lost because you tore us apart and it hurt so good my friends, so good. But over the course of the movie you could see them slowly relearn to trust and depend and be a team again and it was great. When they said that Endgame was a Stony event, they meant it. I live for this. I love it.

Thor got a beer belly and it’s as if the writers underestimate the powers of our thirst for this man. I would still ride him like no one’s business. He’s let himself go, feeling the survivors guilt weigh on him because he aimed for the head and not the arm. The Valkyrie survived Thanos’ raid on the Asgardian refugee ship and New Asgard is formed, probably, where Odin told Thor to remember the view. Thor, Korg and Miek are running a roommate situation where the Wifi is free, and Thor fights back Online trolls.

I think we all knew going in that Clint Barton was gonna be the Ronin and they certainly didn’t disappoint. They gave us a bit of Hiroyuki Sanada’s character fighting with Clint and that was great. But it honestly made me want to say SO dark you sure you’re not the DC Universe?

Natasha has always been a character I was always a bit miffed with the writing about. There have been many complaints about the inconsistencies of her characterisation and those weren’t unwarranted. That being said, I am at peace with where they took her in this movie.

Hulk and Bruce Banner managed to find some zen where Banner’s consciousness could exist at the same time as Hulk’s body.

I’m so happy about the way they treated Nebula as a character and you could tell that Karen Gillan was given a lot of room to stretch out and breathe here. As one of the effects of travelling into a timeline which had her past self, Future!Nebula shared the same network with Past!Nebula which allowed Thanos to access her memories and to be aware of what the Avengers were planning to do. Which, Oh No.

So what happened: The heroes split up through time and space to get the stones. Steve, Tony, Scott and Bruce all go back to 2012 during the Battle of New York, where Bruce goes to convince Tilda Swinton’s Sorcerer Supreme to give him the Time Stone, Steve goes and intercepts the Mind gem (still in Loki’s glow stick of destiny) by convincing Sitwell and Rumlow that he was all Hail Hydra, which gave me all kinds of Hydra!Cap feels, Tony and Scott get to go for the Tesseract. Shit happens, Bruce succeeds by telling the Sorcerer Supreme that Strange gave it willingly to Thanos which clues her in that there might be more to it, and Steve battles himself for the glow stick of destiny

Also, there is much mention and appreciation of Steve’s ass. America’s Ass. Yes, indeed. That is a nice derriere. Premium grade American Ass right there 🍑💦

(I’ve been waiting hours to use this gif :>>>)

Tony and Scott screwed the pooch and they lose the Tesseract while Loki, who sees an opportunity, snatches and bails. So I guess that’s how they get to slip into the planned Loki series for Disney+. Tony and Steve then jump back to the 1970s where they can get more Pym particles, for more jumps and where the Tesseract will be both at the same place, the secret bunker facility we saw in Cap2. Steve chances upon Peggy’s office there and spends some time looking at her from the shadows, while Tony bumps into his dad who is freaking out about Tony’s impending birth. He manages to give his dad some advice on becoming a dad, and they gave us a nice closure for Tony who hugs and thanks his dad for everything he has done.

Rhodey and Nebula go to Morag to intercept Peter Quill right before he gets the orb with the Power Stone. They both succeed but right before they can jump back, Nebula is paralysed by Ebony Maw hacking into her memories and she figures out that Thanos knows the plan. Rhodey jumps back, but she doesn’t and is captured by Thanos, Past!Nebula and Gamora.

Clint and Natasha travel to Vormir and is soon acting like self-sacrificial idiots who battle it out to throw themselves for the Soul stone. Clint manages to clear the ledge, but Natasha is the one who pulls a switcheroo and tells Clint to “Let me go” which :<<<<<< So she dies and Clint gets the stone.

Thor and Rocket go to Asgard circa Thor The Dark World to get the Reality gem. Soon, Thor bumps into Frigga who immediately tells him that she knows he isn’t her son and that the future must’ve not been kind to him. She gives him some words of comfort and wisdom and tells him, despite his insistence that she knows what is going to happen to her, she doesn’t want to know, and honestly this movie gave Frigga the character fleshing out in five minutes what two movies couldn’t and I fucking love it. They are also successful and right before they leave, Thor calls for Mjölnir, and is pleased to know that he is still worthy when she answers.

Our heroes all come back, plus Nebula but they all soon realise that Nat isn’t coming back. They waste no time with assembling the stones with Tony’s nanotech gauntlet (I was kinda bummed we didn’t get to see more giant Peter Dinklage but I guess season 8 of Game of Thrones was a big thing huh) and Hulk-Banner takes it upon himself to do the snapping because he is the strongest avenger and it damn near kills him (remember this).

It works, but before our heroes can enjoy the sweet taste of success, we figure out that Nebula ain’t our Nebula and is Past!Nebula who has impersonated our Nebula to open up a portal for Thanos to arrive in. Thanos decimates the Avengers facility and we enter the final battle.

Thor, Steve and Tony are the only ones not currently trapped under rubble and they all try to hold Thanos off from Clint who has the gauntlet and the stones.

Thor becomes pinned down under Thanos who is trying to stab him with Stormbreaker when Steve picks up Mjölnir and knocks him a new one and we get Thor saying “I knew it!” and let me just say that by this point I was screaming. Really. This was a comic book payoff and I love it. #SteveIsWorthy

This battle bit made me so anxious, like, holy shit I was worried for the safety of all involved. Then we see that Steve is the only left standing against the legion of Thanos, but wait! We see the Strange’s magic circle portals and it shows the arrival of all the other heroes who were snapped. So we have Black Panther coming in with the Wakandans and Bucky and Sam who goes “On your left” to Steve, the heroes on Thanos’ home planet (PETERRRR) and also, Pepper in her own armour!

We get, fucking finally after all this time, to hear Cap say “Avengers Assemble!”

The ensuing melee sees them all try to get the gauntlet to Scott and Hope who are standing by the Pym van to try and get the stones back in time where Thanos can’t get them, and we get to see Peter finally get his hug from Tony and ngl I was crying.

All through it all our Nebula convinces Gamora that she’s changed, and that they have to stop Thanos, and our Nebula kills Past!Nebula when she tries to kill Gamora.

It becomes a whole monkey in the middle situation with everyone passing the gauntlet off to another teammate and we see Peter activate Instant Kill, which is awesome, and then just when shit was about to get worse, get Carol coming in to get the gauntlet coz she’s the star quarterback here (i honestly feel like she was only here for the beginning and end so if you’re only watching this for her, i’m sorry?) and Peter asks her how's she going to get through all of that, all the women Avengers come up and Okoye says, “Don’t worry, she’ll have help” which just, ❤️

When Stephen Strange came back into the fray, Tony had asked him whether this is the one time they succeed and he says that he can’t say it because then it becomes real. So, when it seems like Thanos was going to get another shot at the snap, he makes eye contact with Tony and lifts up a ☝🏼which.

Tony makes a roll for the gauntlet, but Thanos pushes him back, tries to snap but. Nothing happens. We turn, and see that Tony has the stones melding with his gauntlet, and as he prepares to snap his fingers, looks Thanos in the eyes and says “I am Iron Man”

Tony lays dying on the battlefield as Thanos and his legion are dust in the wind. Rhodey, Pep and Peter all say goodbye and are with him to the end and fuck y’all I thought I did my crying in the cinema but as I’m remembering this scene I’m tearing up again holy shit.

We get a funeral where Pepper and Morgan lay a wreath on a lake which had the Proof That Tony Stark Has A Heart reactor from IM1 laid on it. The funeral is a who’s who of the MCU and we get Harley Keener back, which is, yay, but also :< Happy asks Morgan what she wants to eat and she says cheeseburger. Which. Fuck. Tears Happy up as he promises to get her all the cheeseburgers she wants. And ensures that I won’t be touching a cheeseburger within the next year. So many callbacks to IM1 which was the movie that started it all and I can’t even.

Clint goes back to his family, looking like he’s hanging up the bow for good this time, and Thor hands over Kingship of New Asgard to Valkyrie and boards the Guardian’s ship for a future instalment of GOTG.

Steve is charged with being the one to get the stones back into their own timelines. Right before he goes, we get a callback to Cap1 with “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone” “How can I? You’re bringing all the stupid with you”, they prepare to pull him back but he misses the jump point. Sam, Bucky and Hulk-Banner panic for a moment before Bucky spots a man in the distance. They approach, and Bucky tells Sam to go talk to him, and we now see that it’s an aged Steve Rogers who had decided to stay back in time and is very much at peace and happy with it, Sam tells Steve that he doesn’t know how to live in a world without Captain America, when Steve hands over the shield to Sam and tells him that he’s it now. Now I cannot wait for the Falcon and Winter Soldier series.

The final scene in this movie was of Steve and Peggy dancing in their living room in what looks like the 1940s. Honestly, if I hadn’t already gone through a pack of tissues, I would’ve started then.

Cameos (at least the ones I picked out): Ken Jeong as a security guard in the San Fran warehouse where the Antman van was parked, Yvette Nicole Brown at Camp Lehigh, James D’Arcy as Jarvis (Which I was super stoked by because JARVISSSS), Joe Russo in a therapy circle with Steve (also made me real happy coz they kept a gender drop uncensored in my screening), and finally who could forget Stan Lee’s cameo all bedecked out in ‘70s flower power.

This movie was a lovely bowtie on 22 movies and 10 years of the MCU. Was it everything I wanted? No. It was more. Am I happy with what I got? No, I do wish some things ended differently but I knew they were coming. Nothing good lasts, and everything had to come to an end some time. I’m still unpacking my emotions tbh. The credits had all the OG6 signing their names, and the fact of the matter is, I have been so very changed by the MCU. The past 10 years have been amazing and I’ve been proud, and always will be proud to call myself a Marvel fan.

I honestly don’t know where they’ll be taking the MCU as a whole from this point onwards because it seems like there will be ripple effects from the actions of this film will be felt for at least the next ten years. Far From Home is the next MCU movie and I’m sure they’ll be dealing with the direct effects of this film so I’ll be looking forward to that. I’m elated, I am heartbroken, I am a glass case of emotions.

#gab watches stuff #avengers endgame #endgame #marvel #mcu #tony stark #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #clint barton #bruce banner #thor odinson #iron man #captain america #black widow #hawkeye #hulk #thor #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers

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fireheartblackthorn · 6 years ago

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SPOILER REVIEW OF LORD OF SHADOWS

* This is my second time reading Lord of Shadows

STARTED: 12/01/19 FINISHED: 21/01/19

I have so many feelings, probably too many feelings on this book and I gotta get them off of my chest, holyyyyyy. All I’m saying is that I would sacrifice myself to save the Blackthorn family, they deserve the entire freaking world, I adore this series so much. Honestly one of my favourite series I’ve ever read, it still doesn’t beat TID (Cassie Clare went above and beyond on that trilogy) but its deFINITELY UP THERE. These characters, this plot, everythinggggg about this damn book got me. I have bookmarked and sticky-noted specific parts of the book that hit me right in the feels ( Both gOOD AND BAD EMOTIONS) and here they areeeeee!!

THINGS I LIKED (in particular):

* Christina, Mark and Kieran’s relationship. I was a sucker for Mark and Kieran in lady midnight + was super conflicted about mark falling for christina but woahhhh is it weird to ship them all together?? Lol idc, i still do. They all just fit together, so nicely. Ngl I’m low-key worried about whats going to happen to Kieran, I feel awful for him. Now that he know’s the truth, and he didn’t even testify but he’ still being hunted by the unseelie court, he can’t return to faerie nor can he stay in Idris and he wants things done with Mark. That gets me!!! I love how Christina is able to calm both of these angsty faerie boys ;)

* The low-key (but kinda not even low-key) throwbacks to TID and Will’s generation (JUST ALL OF THE WILL + Jem bits). I love how Clare kept referring to Jessamine in the London Institute, and the small will bits. No character as ever affected me the same way will herondale has, and how Kit was talking about “some idiot called will” who wrote in all the first editions and how Emma was looking at a picture of jem and will together. I feel like i’m dying whenever their relationship is mentioned. When tessa was advising Emma on getting someone to stop loving you, I just realised she was referring to what Will tried to do in TID. :( Alsooo, um how tf is Bridget still alive!!!!!!! She’s actually ancient and I’m confusedddd. When Bridget giggles at the plate of scones + she’s thinking of Sophie and Gideon aw

* Gwyn Ap Nudd! (+ Diana’s relationship) Those two have single-handedly made me believe in love. I love how Gwyn Ap Nudd may be the ancient leader of the wild hunt and yet he’s still a good “man” who shows kindness to Mark, and has honour. I wish everyone was like Gwyn. My favourite part of this freaking book was Gwyn being all cute and shy to Diana when he asks her on a date. Adorable!

* Diana’s back story. She deserves the entire freaking world, I hope she’s able to sort it out with the clave, I don’t want it to be used against her in the future. And I’m so glad she found someone like Gwyn who likes her and doesn’t care that she was born in a man’s body.

* The gayness in this book + the LGBTQ+ representation. We loving raging bisexuals, lesbians, gays, pansexuals + transgender peeps. AND I STAN A WOKE AUTHOR

* Lol all I could think of when kit, ty and livvy went to blackthorn manor was how it was originally the lightwood’s house and thus the worm house. All that was going through my head was HAH ITS THE WORM HOUSE

* Freaking mark + kieran’s language, + post-faerie talk + actions (if that makes sense). Like when Mark was staring distrustfully at the garden gnome, equally parts hilarious and cute

* Emma’s talk, easy-going nature: she reminds me of will lowkey and wow I’M CRYING AGAIN. Her ability to difuse tension in situations and her wit made me enjoy this book so much more. Maybe she even reminds Jem of his parabatai aw.

* TIBERIUS BLACKTHORN AND CHRISTOPHER HERONDALE AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP. THE END

* The poetry that was Julian’s feelings and words towards Emma. It was beautiful, and he’s such a soft boi. Especially when he talked about how they were made from the same stardust, how freaking adorable!!

THINGS I DISLIKED:

* How believable it was that the cohort was plausible and full of facists and bigots, I bloody hated Zara Dearborn (to the point of swearing at my book). Its too realistic that a group like that can exist within the nephilim, and how it can exist in the real world. I read fantasy books to escape reality, and suddenly I feel so attacked by these characters. If I wanted this bullcrap I’d just read the news omg. (how do you make me feel this way cassandra)

* People (namely bridget) being rude to my girl Dru about her weight, she cute and curvy

* Dru lying to Jamie about her age, well not exactly lying but hiding it from him. I kind of just wish she had let him know who she was. I mean I get that she wants to be treated like an older person and not as a baby but ughhhh.

* FREAKING LIVVY DYING OFC AND PUTTING HER LIFE ON THE LINE LIKE THAT. I knew this part was coming and yet I still sobbed and dampened the pages with my freaking tears. I know that it was in Livvy’s nature to stand up and go to help her brother like that, but it doesn’t make it any better. Ty’s reaction as well, after he just agreed to be her parabatai. It was just after their family got reunited also :(. It kills me that to Julian its like he’s lost his own daughter, his baby sister and when he was cradling her and calling out for her to wake up :((((((( But then I think of how Livvy said that legend has it, when the clock chimes the hour the gates of heaven open for a moment. Livvy died when the clock chimed the hour + now I know that she’s up there at peace

* The fact that at the ending, Kit still doesn’t know what’s happened to Livvy, he just thinks something bad has happened in the chamber

* NOW THAT I’M REREADIng I know that Julian thinking about future life watching everyone growing up with Emma by his side is not gonna happen bc livvy is dead and it cuts my heart out at the hope he has that his family will be happy and reunited and safe

* I thought at first that Christina was a pretty boring character, kind of there to be able to patch up the loose ends and hold the team together but in hindsight, she’s pretty freaking incredible and I think this book more so shows that off and her qualities, than Lady Midnight does. It's a freaking talent to be that understanding and empathetic, her ability to do that beyondddd impressed and shook, kind of like how Keiran is feeling about her

* I don’t like hOW MUCH I FEEL sorry for Malcolm, He was so warped and caught up in his love, his need for vengeance, his hate and grief to be able to mourn Annabel, let go of the past and move on. I mean I’d have a pretty tough time doing that too but how his love for her eventually killed him was so awful. I couldn’t believe it the first time I read that part.

* How Annabel killed Robert, his death was like meh at first, okay. But at the same time, Alec’s reaction broke my heart + he was going to help Emma and Julian!! I don’t know if he had the time to start preparing for her exile but probably not and now the next inquisitor probably won’t react the same way

STILL 5/5 OVERALL, I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH.

#lord of shadows #this v long #lord of shadows review #book review #LoS #lady midnight #the dark artifices #TDA #LoS spoilers #QOAAD #cassandra clare #tda review #blackthorns #goodreads #julian x emma #shadowhunters #fuck you zara Dearborn

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facelessxchurch · 4 years ago

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Part 5 of my semi-live blogging of the Grimoire. Book 10 - book 11

Highlights include: Nef’s and Baron’s personalities getting misportrayed/changed. Apparently Skul’s daddy pulled a Vile and worked for Mev just to betray him then too. My boi just keeps being dragged though the mud >:/ meanwhile Vile got retconned yet gain! I hate it here-

The Age of the Maggot Part 4

I hate this plotline so much especially since I can guess that all this gods and cults and maggot-demon BS is gonna probably play a big role in the next and last book. So instead of completing the plotlines I care about we are gonna get this fucking drug trip.

Resurrection

What the fuck??? I thought Omen and Auger were identical twins the entire time?????? I’m not the only one that thought that, right?? Auger and Never look more related than he and Omen do tbh.

probably dead?

I really thought this would come to bite her in the ass (AKA would be used as a tracking sigil against her) but I don’t think that has happened so far?

He probably wasn’t much different as Vile tbh. Enjoying annoying the other higher ups of the Faceless Church (and terrifying some lower ranking ones as that didn’t work on the likes of Serpine and Vengeous), just with less words.

This is probably the closest we’re gonna get to a Skul/Vile POV tbh.

Was it already described like that in that book or was this retconned after DoA? I didn’t read Resurrection and I’m not going to so idk

The experiments are the kith with the whole Child of the Faceless Ones ordeal. This kinda implies he was the only one doing it but earlier it says

so implying he wasn’t the only one was was trying that??

Abrogate Raze Part 3

Bc of fucking course he joined Mev’s army too and was vital to it’s success. Of fucking course. Like father like son. I hate this, I hate this so much. Stop dragging my favs, in this case Mev, through the mud to prop up this shitty new characters no one gives half a damn about!

Including this here for mention of the three generals. They way Nef and Baron are described doesn’t fit to the rest of the series :/

aaaaand apparently Landy just retconned what woke Skulduggery up. Previously it had been killing Ghastly’s mother that woke Skul up :///

Of course he did. At this point, is there anyone who didn’t betray Mev??? This is BS, if Mev was this poor at judging character he would have never risen to power in the first place. Should have known the Grimoire would drag Mev through the mud further as that does seem to be a trend in phase 2 >:/

Reminds me of Serpine/’Across a dark Plane’ tbh. Skul’s daddy seems to be just a bunch of redone storylines chewed up, spit out and tapped together.

Midnight

What was Serafina researching there tho?

Also this makes it sound like Creed didn’t side with Mev/the Faceless Church during the war?? I thought they had put their differences aside to fight the Sanctuary/heathens during that time period? Apparently not. So was Creed neutral during the war? Also, still no explanation why they are called ‘The Unveiled’ :(

Still pissed Eliza hasn’t shown up in person in phase 2. Give me Eliza and Nef teaming up to save Sera and Mev AKA their bosses/lovers :3c I know it’s not gonna happen bc this is phase 2 and we don’t get to have nice things or things that make sense, but a girl can dream---

We still don’t know who opened that portal, do we? Still think it was Mev to sneak Nef into the Prime Dimension

Oooohh, so like catholic relics? Nice.

“Sadists’ Club” Kinky. Sounds like something Nef would be into~

Still would have been better canon than what we’ve got instead...

Ngl I get a petty satisfaction out of knowing that Creed’s portrait is easily the worst art in the Grimoire :)

Ngl that’s kinda cool and something nice to steal for some angsty Nef/Mev content :3c

What the fuck am I reading?? This entire ‘challenge part’ reads as just as much of a drug trip as that asylum sequence in ‘Bedlam’ wtf was Landy smoking when he wrote this???

Kinda annoyed that the vision of Mev marching and setting the Dark Cathedral ablaze wasn’t mentioned here meaning it won’t happen in the next book. Ngl stupid as I am I was hoping Mev would be freed from the Eternity Gate and it would still happen. Also, no mention of the Whistler either so apparently that’s not important either and is most likely another plotline Landy is just gonna drop and forget about??

#SP Grimoire #Grimoire Live Blogging #q

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yeont4n · 8 years ago

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Answer all!!

here we fuckn goooooooooo

we are bulletproof: if you could be any superhero, who would you be and why?

u kno that 1 girl from sky high whose only power was shapeshifting into a hamster? her. no reason

no more dream: if you woke up tomorrow to be incredibly famous, how would you react?

id go check my mailbox to collect all my free promotional gifts and then prolly fake my own death

i like it: if you could reverse any moment in your life, what would that moment be?

there’s 1 thing but im not rlly gonna expose myself like tht on here smh

n.o: biggest pet peeve?

loud chewing/loud eating,,,,,,

we on: how do you deal with people who don’t like you?

i dont deal wit it lmfao it’s not my business who likes me n who doesn’t unless someone’s being particularly vocal about it:// in that case i’d prolly jus laugh about it

if i ruled the world: what would you do if you found out that you were an heir to a wealthy kingdom?

lmfao. idk tbh prolly decide which breed of dog i wanted to be known for loving

coffee: what’s your coffee order?

i dont order coffee often buh somethin w a lot of sugar.

cypher pt. 1: if you had to be part of a kpop group, what position would you want to be (i.e. leader, visual, lead vocal, dancer, rapper, maknae, etc.)

maknae i guess? how about staff

rise of bangtan: when and how did you get into the king and legends, also known as bangtan sonyeondan?

i saw a video of yoongi performing intro:nevermind in like 2015 n was :o ! buh never looked into it. in 2016 i saw the fire and bst dance practice vids and was like :0!??? but again, never looked into it. then finally spring day/not today mvs dropped n i FINALLY looked into who these boys were n jus fell down an ever spiraling rabbit hole.. now we here

satoori rap: what does home mean to you?

a feeling. i mean i have a few physical manifestations of the concept of home: my town, my school, my house. things i can return to. but really it’s a feeling isn’t it?? safety, familiarity, comfort, fondness

boy in luv: when you are interested in someone (romantically, sexually, etc.), does your behavior change?

yeah probably altho i dnt have many data points to go over rn

just one day: who would you want to spend the last day of your life with?

yall expectin me 2 say bts buh id want 2 be wit my friends n family . bts can b there 2 if they want

tomorrow: goal that you would like to achieve within the next year?

get into..... college.....

cypher pt. 2: one thing about yourself you wish people would appreciate more?

i never express appreciation n all that verbally thru words or physically thru touch buh i have my own ways of showin tht i care n i guess it dont count if i dont communicate explicitly like: hey ilu ! . what happened to actions speak louder than words smh

spine breaker: what is your weakness when it comes to spending money?

makeup!!!!!!!!!! ><

jump: favorite childhood memory?

getting my dog tina!!!!

miss right: what is your ideal ‘type’?

physically i tend 2 like the boyish types likkee think taehyung inu era i guess. boy next door vibes; ive never rlly been into the macho build or the preppy, neat look, or the rough around the edges, angsty shithead badboy exterior model like i like my boys S.O.F.T.! puppy-ish!

personality wise i guess jusssss idk i’m gonna copy n paste a list of qualities i look 4 in a partner that i wrote for a different ask game a while back: Sense of humor, openmindedness, compassion, reliability, ability 2 communicate directly/emotional maturity, ambition/drive/work ethic, etc.

i like it pt. 2: dream date?

yall prolly expecting me to say smthn like staying in n watching movies n eating junk but i’d prolly wanna go out n do smthn ngl. not a movie where u can hardly even speak or a dinner date where u feel trapped n stiff buh smthn fun n mildly competitive n engaging ??????? although jus chillin dont sound so terrible either

danger: have you ever had a near-death experience?

kinda not really it was on hampton beach n i had an allergic reaction but i wasnt on death’s door or nuthn

war of hormone: most embarrassing moment?

i bled thru my fucking pants in like 7th grade n it got on the chair! it was bad lol i was jus talking about this w my friend n she was like “yeah i remember that haha:)” shut up caitlin

hip hop lover: three songs that are meaningful to you?

moonlight sonata, ballade no. 1 in g minor, bts’ entire discography ties for 3rd

let me know: are you good at keeping secrets?

no lmfao . keeping my own, sure.

rain: most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

some words that have never been used to describe me, grace: spontaneous, easy going, flexible. the most impulsive thing i’ve done is prolly take a random sidestreet omw home just for the heck of it lol

cypher pt. 3: favorite outfit to wear?

cute jeans w a belt, a crop top. white adidas. i like dresses too tho!! n i really like layered clothes (a mock turtle neck under a slip dress or like a pinstripe button up under a babydoll fit blouse. i jus think it’s fuckin adorable)

blanket kick: longest time you’ve spent lying in bed (sleeping or not)?

prolly 2 or 3 days

24/7 = heaven: what are you most looking forward to?

fuck i rlly dk . doesnt that suck??

look here: do you have any hidden talents?

i can burp on command lmfaoofdj

second grade: proudest accomplishment?

dont ask me this if u dnt want to be made uncomfortable by how genuinely unproud of myself i am lol

i need u: are you in love?

wit k*m t*aehy*ng? yeah.

hold me tight: does physical contact comfort you?

no........... maybe i havent found the right person but it’s not my cup of tea generally speaking

love is not over: ever had your heart broken?

no but now i know what i can look forward to haha

dead leaves: how loyal are you?

im rlly loyal if that commitment is mutual. w my family i’m ride or die i’ll fuck anyone up who comes for my asshole brother idc!!!!!!!!!

move: last time you cried?

cant remember,, i dnt cry much. prolly watching reply 1988 when bo ra and her dad were exchanging letters on her wedding day.

butterfly: most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

his name looks similar to my url thats the only hint im giving

run: do you like traveling? if so, where? what’s your dream vacation?

i dnt really like travelling tbh but i do wanna go back to korea one day. not necessarily as a tourist but as a diasporic korean person myself

ma city: if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

idk. i cant imagine not living in the states tbh but i also cant say i love it here either

baepsae: do you vote and/or keep up with politics?

i can’t vote but i’m in my school’s youth vote committee which runs debates for local elections and registration drives at the end of the year. i kept up with politics a lot more last year but after the election i jus got 2 bitter. i know what’s going on but only sort of surface level smh

dope: what did you want to be when you were younger? how does it compare to what you want to be now?

i wanted to be a teacher lmfao and i wanted to commute to college n save $$ bc i was a practical little fucker even when i was 6. these days i’m not that interested in teaching bc a) i’d be objectively bad at it and b) i was a classroom mentor for elementary schools and... realized i can’t work w kids tht small every damn day i’d rlly snap

fire: are you a spontaneous person?

no~

save me: your favorite place on earth?

rn??? m y bed

young forever: what is one movie from your childhood that you will always treasure?

august rush lol

boys with fun: you’re going on a roadtrip with seven other people– dead, alive, fictional, real, famous, or not. who are they, and why?

really......... seven other people:)? guess.

converse high: how many pairs of shoes do you own?

12??? 3 are the same black heel lmfao n a lot i havent worn in years but i still technically own them. i rlly b wearing the same 4 pairs in a cycle n 1 rotten bleach stained soggy mess for work shoes.

whalien 52: weirdest thing that has ever happened to you? alternatively, weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

weirdest dream i ever had was way too long to type out n had way too many references to people in my personal life to ever be interesting lmao

house of cards: when was the last time you felt sexy?

HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHHAAH?????????????????

boy meets evil: have you ever committed a crime? if so, what was it? alternatively, what is the worst thing you have ever done?

does speeding count smh.

blood, sweat, & tears: kinkiest kink you have?

rolling eyes emoji. pass!

begin: who are you most grateful for in your life?

my parents!

lie: biggest fear?

real talk? failure. abandonment but i’m adopted, how cliche. also bugs

stigma: would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death?

date of death bc if i knew the cause but not have any indication of when it’d hit me, i’d be a paranoid agoraphobic wreck for the rest of my life

first love: do you believe in soulmates?

yes but i also believe you can have more than one! and that soulmates aren’t exclusively romantic

reflection: if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

get ur fucking bangs cut

mama: are you good at giving advice?

yeah i think so

awake: if you had to be a flower, which flower would you be?

lazy daisy

lost: how good are you with directions? do you get lost easily?

horrible horrible horrible. directionally challenged. i can’t even find my way to the fucking grocery store down the road on my own. if i ever missed an exit on the highway you’d never hear from me again, i could never find my way back without a gps. i’m dead serious

cypher pt. 4: what do you do to treat yourself or relax?

take a bath or a long long shower. eat smthn warm, drink tea, do a face mask, change my sheets n snuggle up watchin a drama or movie or playin sims

am i wrong: you wake up one morning in the hospital, knowing only your name and a single memory from your life. what is that memory?

wtf how do i answer this lmfao how wud i know lol

21st century girls: do you prefer texting, calling, or video chatting?

texting! calling if it’s a long story though

2!3!: your favorite thing about bangtan?

their modesty and grace ! they’re a true underdog success story ><

spring day: who do you miss right now?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

not today: what are your procrastinating right now?

math summer work smh

wings: on airplanes, do you prefer the window seat, the middle seat, or the aisle seat?

window seat!

you never walk alone: how many people do you trust with your life?

#Anonymous

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