#some of these drawings have never been posted here bc i wasn't posting to tumblr at the time

[ghostlyfirn]

Ayy art summary time 🎉🎉

you guys are never gonna guess my top hyperfixation of this year. not in a million years nuh uh nope

[highhhfiveee]

mint

pairing: mike schmidt x blackfem!reader summary: you’re abby’s mint chocolate-loving babysitter. mike takes notice. wc: 1.3k tags: suggestiveness, swearing, fluff. *minor movie spoiler that isn’t a spoiler fr but kind of is* a/n: oi. this is my first official piece of fanfic on tumblr and i'm excited but also super nervous. i never knew what characters i wanted to write for as most of my fandoms are obsolete tbh (teen wolf and maze runner, i'm looking at you 💔) but after watching the fnaf movie and falling in love with j hutch like i'm 14 again, i wanted to try to write for mike!  i'm sorry if this story sucks tbh. i wrote it pretty quickly, did not edit it in any way (watch for grammar and spelling errors!) and i'm still trying to establish characters and plot and do all this silly billy worldbuilding, but i'll get better! i'm also taking requests for both fluff and smut, so if y'all would like to send anything for me to write, i'll def accept! like i said in my last post, i think i'm gonna redo my tumblr layout so i can feel like a true fanfic/misc blog lmao so ignore its under construction phase ((: i hope y'all enjoy this though bc i've been thinking ab mike schmidt all night 

i have sooo many ideas, but between last night and this morning, i’ve been thinking of abby’s babysitter!reader (bc fuck max). 

you’ve been channel surfing in the living room since you put abby down, working with her to lock down a nightly routine. ideally, she’d bathe, eat dinner (god willingly), brush her teeth, and then you’d be able to get her to lay in bed and doze off. some nights, this required dessert. 

“you just brushed your teeth though. it’s gonna taste gross.”

“not if it’s one of those mint chocolate things you always have.” you straighten up, eyes squinted at the child before you; she meant the small, sometimes melted, squares of Andes mint chocolate you always kept. they’d always been your favorite, a guilty pleasure in this fucked up world. 

you hadn’t been babysitting abby for long, and you didn’t realize that she'd been watching you crush the chocolates like it was light work. they were easy to eat, and once you had one, you found out how easy it was to eat another one, and then another one, and then another one until there was a mountain of crinkled foil next to your phone and chocolate smeared on your face. 

"please, y/n. just one," you didn't exactly know if it was a lie. abby was convincing, able to break you down with her eyes, pleading and puppy-dog like. "please." 

you cave, leaning down to brush her hair back from her forehead and place a gentle kiss on the skin. with pursed lips, you whisper, "fine, but tomorrow night. i have to get some more." 

abby does nothing but smile, eyes fluttering closed. you stay with her for a bit like you always do--watching the way her chest rises and falls, and how her features twitched with slumber. features scarily similar to mike's. 

of course she'd look like mike. they were siblings, no shit, but the resemblance occupied your brain. there was sweet abby, with her colorful clothes and scribbled drawings and persuasive aura, and then there was mike. 

you shake your head, giving abby another kiss before exiting her room. you didn't need to think about mike. he wasn't what you were here for. you'd come to abby's school as an aide and after she'd privately confided in you about her home life, you knew you had to help her. you would do anything for her, even if that meant taking care of her while suppressing the overwhelming school girl crush you had on her older brother.

mike was a bit older than you, which didn't scare you at all. guys in their early 20s were rarely mature, doing anything they could just to fuck; but guys in their late 20s, mike specifically, had only ever shown you couth, surprisingly. 

for nearly two months, five mornings a week, the sound of the door being unlocked would ring out. you'd turn to see sunshine pouring into the living room, enveloping mike's brooding figure in a radiant golden glow.

he'd hang his coat on the wall hooks, drop his bag down to his feet, and give you a small but warm smile. you'd try to not to embarrass yourself as you two made small talk, packing up your things.

you always left unscathed, but recently it'd been hard. you were always thinking about him, dreaming about him even; how his hair would feel between your fingers, how his hands would feel on your face, how his face would feel between your thighs. 

the thought is washed away, drowned out by the sound effects of a loud infomercial when the door opens, and you're turning and squinting against the wash of pale yellow on your face. mike steps forward with a, "hey, y/n" and you meekly raise your hand to wave. 

he hangs his hoodie up to reveal his shoulder blades flexing under an uncharacteristically tight navy blue sweater. you can't help but stare.

"just wake up?" his voice is raspy, but he's still facing the wall, rummaging in his bag for something. 

"um...yeah. brain's still turning on," you lie, tossing the thick blue blanket off your body. you didn't sleep at all, kept up with your thoughts and the last of your Andes mints (though you loved her, you couldn't give abby your last ones).

"hm," he mutters, finally turning to you but keeping his hands behind his back. something crinkles in them and you raise your eyebrow at the tired yet amused expression he takes with you. it's enough to make your body hot and you awkwardly pull at the collar of your shirt, fanning yourself off.

"hot?" the gravelly tone sends you into a giggling fit, shaking your head as you shoot to your feet. you have to leave before you do or say something you regret. 

"uh, yeah, it was s-super hot under that...um...blanket. i shouldn't have worn sweatpants to s-sleep," you stutter, nodding your head along with mike as he steps closer to you. this couldn't be the moment something happens, right? it'd been so casual between you too, very friendly, and he'd never shown any signs of trying to do anything with you before. why would he choose right now, so spontaneously? 

he stands before you, the slightest bit taller than you. you're able to see every pore, every freckle, every microscopic detail in his eyes and lips.

you open your mouth, hoping your heart doesn't fall out, to ask what's happening, when he reveals a bag of Andes mints, one bigger than you've ever seen.

your mouth stays open in surprise. "wh-"

"abby's been talking about them. i wondered where she found out about them but--" he nudges his head towards the coffee table, where a small mound of green wrappers lay. you swear under your breath, cursing yourself for not throwing them away like you usually do. 

"i'm sorry," you whisper, blushing beyond measure as you begin to frantically pack your things. "i should be more careful with that stuff."

"god, y/n, you're saying it like it's coke," mike chuckles. he sets the bag down on the couch and reaches out to you, placing his hand on yours as you shove things into your tote. "hey." 

his voice forces you to stop and look up. you melt under his stare just like you do with abby. the puppy-dog thing must run in the family.

"i feel bad about not being able to pay you yet, and i really appreciate all you're doing. abby told me that you loved those mints, so..."

"thank you, mike," you say over the sound of your pounding heart. you didn't care about the money, you didn't need it. being appreciated by someone who made your heartbeat resonate throughout your body was payment enough. "this is really sweet." 

"thank you, y/n. you don't know how much this means to me." You scoff, throwing your tote over your shoulder and looking down at your feet. 

"i'm always happy to help." you and mike stand facing each other for what feels like hours, the air as thick as molasses between you. his eyes were squinted, low and dark and intriguing.

you wished you could read his mind. what was he thinking? did his heart do the same thing as yours, wacking against his ribcage with no end in sight? did he stay up thinking about you when he was supposed to be sleeping, imagining how you felt, what you sounded like, how you tasted---

"see you later tonight?" his voice rocks you out of your trance. he's not thinking about you. he's tired, wondering when you'll leave so he can fall into his bed and doze off. 

"yeah. tell abby i said i'll see her tonight." your smile is tight as you exit the house, cursing at yourself as you get into your car. 

you didn't know how long you could go on like this. 

ya, i know this sucks and it isn't really anything but we're gonna work our way through these fics and blurbs to really develop a cute relationship (,: i will still be writing other fics for mike, and possibly using another babysitter!reader in a different universe, but as for now, we're gonna be rocking with these two (: (thinking that we’ll label her as 🌱🍫!reader)  all notes are appreciated (: thanks for reading!

[crystall-violetzz-xx]

Hi everyone♡

For safety reasons I'm not gonna say my real name but you can call me Crystal! I'm new to the community but I've been lifting for about six months. I started out with small stationary, like pens and highlighters, but lately I've been branching out towards small makeup and skincare. Unfortunately I literally cannot lift larger stuff due to the size of my area's stores, however I do plan to lift better stuff whenever I have opportunity to shop elsewhere (especially s3ph0ra. fuck them)

**DISCLAIMER** This community dislikes people who lift from small businesses and I truly stand by that. Just because the stores I lift from are small in size doesn't mean that the owners depend on them for money. I know for a fact that 9/10 of these people single-handedly own half of the area's hotels and Airbnbs so I don't think they'd even notice a couple missing pens & lippies <3 **

some facts about me♡

~ I'm a minor

~ I'm bi and my pronouns are she/her

~ I collect Monster High dolls, mainly G1. My wishlist is ENDLESS but my all-time favs are Vandala Doubloons, signature Spectra Vondergeist and signature Clawdeen Wolf💜

~ My fav colors are purple, pink & blue

~ I've been lifting for about six months but I got caught by a friend and it scared me sh!tless. She lectured me about the morality of it and made me promise not to do it again. Sometimes I regret lifting bc of that promise...

~ I've never been caught out of sheer luck, so I decided to reach out to some pros for advice :)

~ I love crystals and if I wasn't so useless in science I'd follow gemology as a profession

~ I have a dog named Aria but I also have some "unofficial" pet cats, most of which are named after crystals or minerals :)

~ My hobbies include gaming (mostly ps3-4), journaling, lifting, drawing & listening to music (very creative ik)

~My fav video game is TLOU2 or any Tomb Raider game

~ My fav movie is probably Spirited Away

~ My fav cartoon is either Steven Universe or She-Ra

~ My fav artists include Lady Gaga, Pierce The Veil, Ke$ha & Crystal Castles

~ I can't pick just one fav song 😭

~I've never lifted clothes but I really want to!

~ nobody I know irl knows I still lift and I plan on keeping it that way

I've been scared of posting on here bc I signed up with my one and only email address but oh well... I plan on posting a haul of my all-time fav lifts as well as some tips & tricks I've been studying lately. Also a huge thanks to @s0wh4t1f1l1ft she's such a sweetheart and she's been super helpful!! 💕 I didn't think Tumblr would have such an active and supportive community but I'm so glad I found it :)

[vintagelacerosette]

Art Tag 🖼🎨💕

I was tagged by these talented magnificent artist thanksss 💕

Molly @deathclassic Julissa @heymrspatel Deanna @deedala Ice @spookygingerr Ling @lingy910y

Have you always been interested in creating art? Yes, I was that kid in high school doodling anime girls throughout class lol

What's your favourite medium to use? I really like digital for the infinite undo button with my perfectionist ass lmao & I'm using Clip Studio. Paper art has been quite therapeutic for me too

Do you create outside of fandom? Yes

Share something you haven't finished and/or never got around to posting

I made a tribute to our Gallacrafts zine, but at the time, the mods had changed, so I was gonna create a companion piece. I didn't get around to it & then the mods had changed again 😅

Some OG crafting overlords Rhys @smokey-mickey Leah @whatwouldmickeydo Donna @sleepyfacetoughguy

I also have gallacrafts I haven't completed for really old themes, but I do still wanna post lol

Favourite piece you've made? Toss up between my gallacrafts Pride 2 piece (see piece that has most notes question) or my 2024 gallavich valentines/my icon

Draw your icon in a minute or less

You get the gist lmao

An underrated piece you've made in your opinion

A little bit to thus This collection of missing posters with the mixed media.

Do you do art in a professional setting? No, but I wanted to. I studied Visual Arts with a major in screen arts in university tho. Uni wasn't what I wanted my plan was to do animation, but, plans fell through

A piece you don't like but did really well on social media

This. The portions are wack basic background, Ian's face feels off & I rushed this

Post an old piece and compare it to your most recent, what are the similarites?

Wow pretty good that I get to compare these two lol. Still got the star motif & the way I'm drawing bodies is has improved yay! Look at that looooong squiggly pointing arm

Have you ever collaborated with another artist/s? Yes, with the lovely & super talented Ling @lingy910y I couldn't have as for a better first time collab partner 🫶🏼 Would love to collab more 🥰

What piece has the most notes? Are you surprised?

This one has the most notes for hand drawn art & the other is my most notes for art/crafts in general. I'm pretty proud these are top dogs & pleasantly surprised with the Deleted scenes one 😄

Who/What is your favourite subject matter? Our boys but also when I'm acrylic painting I'm loving painting clouds & sunset/sunrise skies hues

Show us something not from fandom you've made

I've been experimenting with acrylic paints after getting inspired by a sparkling water painting I saw on tumblr & here are some cute cows I drew for Leah

Where do you like to create? There's a table in the lounge room that's very spacious, has good light & a cart with a stash of my art supplies. But I wanna migrate back to my room bc I got a new big desk there to keep my mess away lol

Do you have a tag that you use to group your creations? Tell us so people can follow it. It's under Myn's art

Give yourself a shoutout, where can we commission/buy/follow you for more pieces? I don't sell my art or do commissions, but I kinda have some drawings I do love & toy with the idea of making postcards or have it on a mug

I'll tag sensational & inspiring artist if they wanna play 💖

@suzy-queued @tsuga-of-mars @samantitheos @burninface @darthvaders-wife @psychicskulldamage @michellemisfit @sgtmickeyslaughter @mickittotheman @y0itsbri @friend-bear @matt404b @takeyourpillsbitchh @michellemisfit @mikhailoisbaby @mikcrymilkovich

[killingmyfavcharacterbcilovethem]

Ok so i can't for my life find the post but i've seen someone here on tumblr saying technically Leo is (accidentally) a transboy in the show because of his pattern of colors, that indicate he's a female turtle. Then someone in the comments said that Leo wasn't AFAB, he was AMBS (assignated male by spliter) because Splinter kinda of just assumed they were all boys, and ever since I've been thinking

What if Leo had like no idea he's technically trans and when they meet Draxum, he kept referring to Leo as "she" and Leo never gets why but he doesn't really complains bc, yk everytime they met, the Mad Dogs were like almost dying so he didnt really have time to point this out

Baron is also (secretly) confused on why the boys keep referring to the Blue one as "he" or gave her the name "Leonardo" (apparently, giving the one with the red marks the blue bandana wasn't enough), but he's a villain not a monster (he may kill people but he draws the line at being transphobic) so he eventually starts referring to him by "he/him"

After some time, when Baron becomes good, Leo finally has time to ask him this and it goes like

Leo: Hey, question, why did you keep referring to me as a girl when we met for the first times?

Baron: Well, because I had no idea you were transgender, sorry for that, you were like 1 year last time I had seen you

Leo (confused af): ??? It's okay but i'm not trans, I'm male

Baron(finally understanding): No you're not, you're female, that's why I kept referring to you as she, but after some time i realized everyone referred to you as he/him so I just went with it

Leo: ....?

Raph: so you were okay with killing people but not with being transphobic?

Donnie: Totally understandable

Baron(looking at Splinter):you never told him?

Splinter: YOU THINK I KNEW?

Leo: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M FEMALE

Mikey: IT'S OKAY LEO WE LOVE YOU BE WHO YOU ARE 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[fr-wiwiw]

I have no art to post— actually I do. It's my studies and sketches, sfw & nsfw, things like that. But I haven't been deliberately drawing something. Mainly I've just been focusing on sharpening my art skills to gain commissions as I'm a freelance human artist, in the midst of AI chaos, I'm trying my very best to keep up while not draining myself.

So I just want to give you some updates of my life, idk if this is important or not. I'm still a bit constipatedly (is this even a fucking word lol) awkward with communicating with my followers or advertising myself. Ironic, really, bcs I majored in design & advertisement.

Hi there, my lovelies—I hope you don't mind me calling you all that. I've been trying to do healthy habits and diligently fulfill my needs in 3 aspects. Mentally, spiritually and physically. For the past 7± years, I was not really in a great place mentally. I will not expose it in this post, don't worry it doesn't have anything to do with drugs or whatnot. Just that I've been constantly working and working, controlled by fear and my anxieties and I got depressed I think.

I didn't really understand how to actually 'heal' back then. But now I do now. Starting from January I've been trying to bounce back to have a healthy mindset again— trust me when I say I'm an overthinker & problem solver, it's such a nightmare to live in this body sometimes. Fellow overthinker, problem-solver & feeler type will relate to this perhaps hahah.. I'm a turbulence type too, fucking yay. Luckily, my prayers are answered. I can't write it down one by one here, you would be reading a 10k+ fanfiction and I'm sure you'd rather have me draw or write a real fanfic, smut would be preferable won't it? lol

I have many things change, become my better self (bcs I was, still am obsessed becoming better than my past self and I'm tired of living in such dark headspace). I do feel the changes, it helps that I have better friends, filtered out some that affects me negatively. This journey going into my 30s really is such a roller coaster, I never liked my 20s bcs of all the trauma and pain. But I wouldn't be able to reach this point if it wasn't for it.

So.. I'm grateful. Trying to always be grateful too, no matter how hard my circumstances are. I have faith that I will get what I've always envisioned and dream of

I'm also grateful that in 2022, a friend encouraged me to post my Gahan fanart. Now this may seem like biased and dedicated post for my Gahan moots & followers, in some way yes, I cannot deny that. But mostly this is too all of you, who come here and follow me bcs you like my arts & fanfics, supports me however you can despite having our own hardships that we may or may not share here. Your responses to my creations really feeds me and help me boost my confidence to keep drawing & keep creating, keep hoping. I always read your hashtags here, a lot of you are really such a hilarious individuals. I'm grateful my art can find you or you find my art and take delight in it. Because I do take delight in your reactions. In some ways, I never realized it, but you guys feel like penpals. It still feel one-way communication most of the time, idk if it's because of my awkwardness to respond to such responses. Feeling like, ah this too will pass or just bask in the reactions and sit then do nothing productive. I'm kinda scared I will be satisfied with one post and then not post anymore. You get it.. Yea you can probably tell by now I'm up in my head thinking too much. Posting that first Gahan fanart on twitter really was the best decision. It feels like I gained a special community, that's surprisingly still active and alive till this very day, I'm always waiting for new fics to drop gosh. I get to see tweets & tumblr posts that are deranged, detailed analysis, fan edits, those gifs, aus, fellow artists & authors! I get to know little bits of your daily lives too and what kind of person you are online haha, just so fun.

And then my freelancing journey.. My decision to become a freelancer has always been one of my dreams but boy oh boy isn't it fucking hard to start from 0 and exist in confusion haha. Money doesn't come easy too bcs I help feed my family along with my siblings. I've been swallowing all my jealousy seeing ppl my age can go out and watch concerts (even tho I don't like crowded & noisy places like that). Going on vacation, be in a romantic relationship, marry, so on and so forth. Idk if this is tmi posting my feelings like this out in the world, but it is what it is.

So.. TLDR:

Hi, I'm alive. I haven't post or updated much bcs I've been focusing on my well being. Honing my art skills, trying to get art commissions to put food on my table and simultaneously enjoying life as much as I could wisely. Thankyou to all of you who are still following me and keep supporting me, I will have to say, If you follow me for only Gahan posts, I have to disappoint you bcs I won't always post Gahan bcs I draw other things too. For my enjoyment, yours, others and mostly for me to gain market for commission too. This is norm, I'm sure most of you realized that too. But I still want to address things to you, I like interacting with all of you. I won't be surprised if one day you leave/unfollow, but let me be grateful to you while you're still here supporting me ^^

That's all for my update. I try my best to make this post as short but effective as possible so I don't bore you with my long ass writing, per usual lol. I cannot seem to write in shorts, I have accepted my faith lmao.

I wish you all well, wherever you are. I hope we can all be happy and well in this dark and uncertain place. Don't hesitate to give comments or drop questions here, I'm cooking my skills and art taste so I can give more to you and be satisfied with what I will achieve along with the progress.

See you in the next post!🌟

[cherriko-art]

I just want to thank the Tumblr community from the bottom of my heart for helping me find joy in drawing again. For helping me find art a little less scary with every comment I get. And to remind people, once again, how much of an impact positive engagement has for creators, no matter how small or big.

Long, midnight ramble on my struggles with art below.

Late night thoughts, but lately my motivation for drawing has been rekindled as a way to release the brain rot on the fandoms and games I've loved recently. I lost my love for art for a really, really long time and for someone who's been drawing since I could pick up a pencil, and has identified as an artist my entire life, literally witnessing myself lose my love for art and drawing has been a really painful process. Especially since it happened over a relatively short period of time. Over 20 years of loving and creating art, only to be extinguished in just a small period of 2 years. When I came to a sudden realization that I hated drawing, I mourned over it for a really long time. I missed the joy I got from drawing, the pride in my art, the passion to learn and hone my skills. I used to think I could never imagine a future where I wasn't constantly thinking about the next thing I wanted to draw, but now I am living that future. Art is never on my mind anymore. I try to draw and I become filled with anxiety and dread. There's not a single thought about picking up my pencil and creating. The only things I had drawn in the last 4 years were for zines and it felt like work, not joy. Drawing felt like a job, and it stopped being the center of my universe. I stopped being active on social media, bc I was only on here for art. But even looking at other people's art left a bitter taste, and I didn't want to look at any of it anymore. Several times over the last few years I've tried to rekindle my love for art, tried starting small again. But it always fizzled out quickly, and I'd abandon it again. Sometimes I scroll through my Instagram and it hurts to look at, because I distinctly remember how much joy I got from drawing every single piece, what my thought process was, and how excited I felt in creating. It's been so long since I've felt happiness in drawing.

Lately, I've drawn some things bc my emotions for the brain rots in my head were Too Big and I couldn't think of releasing these big emotions in anything other than what I know. In art. I just drew something, didn't think too hard abt it, and posted them. Like barfing your overwhelming feelings on paper then throwing it away. But the engagement I've gotten on these emotional-dump drawings have been so wonderful, no matter how small or big, and it's made me so happy. Very specifically from Tumblr. Tumblr has reminded me what it's like to actually interact with fandoms again. Instagram/Twitter/etc has become such a competitive platform for content creators, that any sense of (the minimal) community and fandom interactions have been completely wiped out. But Tumblr has stayed true to it's roots through all these years and never have I been more grateful.

For the first time in years, I'm excited to draw again. I actually want to draw. I finished multiple drawings in the last 2 weeks, more than I have in years. Instead of feeling numb and exhausted after drawing like I had been, I'm actually filled with adrenaline and excitement to draw more. I'm excited to participate in fandoms again, engage in communities. This is all because other people's positive engagements on my little drawings have motivated me to draw more.

Drawing has become a very daunting, anxiety-filled, unpleasant experience for me. I lost my love for art years ago. But the positive engagement in my recent art has pushed away some of that anxiety, and it's becoming increasingly easier for me to pick up that pencil again. Drawing is starting to feel fun again. I don't know how long this will last, if it will fizzle out like it has time and time again. I don't know if art will turn back into the Big, Bad Monster again. But for now, I'm just relishing in the feeling of art feeling like freedom again. And I have the Tumblr community to thank for that.

So for everyone on here, thank you.

[askwolfsbaneband]

(blows the dust off this blog)

HELLO FRIENDS! it is i, your humble wolf's bane mod. i'm coming back! in fact i am very nearly done with an 8 panel answer that i will be posting soon!! i assume most of you follow me on my main anyway, but if you don't, i have been... drawing nate nonstop. the interest wasn't gone i just was focused on different types of drawings.

now, the blog is a bit outdated, both artstyle-wise and information-wise. the blog's pages (linked in the pinned post) should be up to date, but i may have added things elsewhere that i forgot so i will be redoing those. the art is also absolutely out of date. the versions of the bios on the desktop theme are also out of date; the information i've added/changed is minimal but i do want it to all be accurate to my current ideas.

so i will be fixing those things, but give me a second to do it, i wanted to actually put out some asks first. if you want an undoubtedly current version of everything, i've made a second account on the fediverse, which you can find here. it doesn't have anything new but mild lore changes i already mentioned would be happening, plus it links to a retrospring account instead of any sort of native dm system. asks sent here and asks sent to retrospring will all be answered on both accounts, so you won't be missing anything unless it ends up inexplicably too horny to post on tumblr (lmao, it's possible). no pressure to join the fediverse or anything, i know it's a bit complicated. (and if you already have an account on some other instance, it might not federate with aethy, bc aethy is pro-kink and pro-fiction and some people don't like that.)

please feel free to send new asks either way! you don't actually need to know about anything nate-related i've been posting outside of this blog, bc none of it has become relevant yet (or may never at all). this account is self-contained!

i'll be posting the 5 new busts alongside the old ones in just a sec here, bc i am proud of them, but it might take me a bit to actually add them to the blog. but don't worry...

eeeeeverything is under control.

[spikeinthepunch]

if you told me a few years back i was gonna revive @single-malt-scotch and not drop it in a week and enjoy it genuinely i would have never imagined it. as much as i consume "cringe" content and enjoy things like hot wheels or barbie unironically, there has been a strangely complicated relationship between me and mcyt- for those who have only followed this blog (and even the one i had before this) youd have no idea i was incredibly involved with and enjoyed the old mcyt smp, mindcrack. after my early fandoms in 2010-2012 mindcrack was my thing, for years (the url of that side blog was what i used to have).

no matter how much i try to throw out the disclaimer "if you remember my mcyt days understand i was a teen and im not a weirdo about these people", the reason i even detached further and further over time wasn't purely that i fell out of it (i did, the server started to dwindle) but the.... shame in never wanting to look back at those days came from the automatic association people gained about mcyt over time, and tumblr's rampant witch hunting culture over calling people out for liking "problematic things".

should be said im talking about this shame and callout culture in the context of 2015 tumblr- to now. i was 16 and that stuff was ingrained in my head. it ruined my consumption and joy for media for years. i liked a lot of stuff without problem but i liked them all with intense, fear filled awareness to not unknowingly be ~bad~ but just touching something people could deem problematic. the moment i registered that my behavior as a 13 year old was "bad" bc i wrote mcyt fanfics was the moment i closed off all of that past and decided it was bad, and i was bad, and i could never ever look at it the same way again.

even as i stayed subbed to some of those people out of not wanting to let go of subs i made almost ten years ago- there was no way i was every going back i thought. i looked at mcyt fandom stuff and cringed, and that increased when the distaste of dreamsmp arose-- which ever valid to dislike dream, the wave of cringe culture over dreamsmp and the general concept of mc smps only furthered my shame in the last years. i was told even more in the present now, that mcyt fandom is Bad because its all weird people shipping real people and its strange and youre obviously bad for associating in any form at all. nuance in enjoying gamers on youtube was suddenly lost. even in that period of dsmp getting popular, i couldnt imagine myself getting to this point again, it really was so engrained in me to never consider mcyt a point of joy for myself, when my inability to do so was always tied to shame.

it sounds silly-- but applying this to a broader range of interests? it doesnt matter if im talking about mcyt or something else. it was so hard for me to decide in my head that there was nothing morally egregious about watching people play fucking minecraft on youtube. even if i draw fan art. even if i indulge in the characters they play in a way that isnt strange or crossing their personal boundaries. im not sure what happened to make people decide "mcyt" was a catch all for the Worst of the bad examples for people within such a large community but the moment that happened it made it so hard to feel like i was allowed to like this ever again. i made my existing sideblog in the early summer and i didnt say anything about it. i had it for months and i said nothing. i was so afraid of considering i might have fun, and find joy in this, i wanted to make sure if i destroyed it, it wasnt tied to here and there were no strings attached.

i slid away to enjoy this in peace. and im glad i did in the sense i took away any stressors of just posting straight to my main with little time to decide my feelings. but through the last months i have on and off added it to my pinned post. added it because fuck it, took it down because anxiety. back up, i have nothing to lose.... back down because i saw some post that made me feel bad again.

i am tired of it. the effect of early tumblr culture stress hangs over me even still and it fucking sucks. ive sat here drawing stuff for months on this sideblog unable to tie it to my name for reasons that dont even make sense, out of fear of a reaction from people id never regard or listen to in the first place. that being said im keeping that blog, its on my pinned, im queueing the art to post here whenever i share it, and taking all my old DA art out of storage was a big one to covercome as it uplocked all my old mcyt art to the public again even stuff i felt the most shame for-- by no means was this fandom what it was when i enjoyed it with 30 other people on tumblr 10 years ago... but im finding joy in this again, and my heart swells for every old mutual i see again and im not denying myself that anymore.

[idkwhatthisisbutheresdcandstuff]

I'm so unnecessarily angry rn

No

Just fucking no

That's not even the right fucking ship

Look, I know that the post is a multi fandom post

Obviously

I was the one who posted it

Thing is I didn't want this

I did this because

It was Christmas

I wanted to bring my fandoms together

I wanted to see some of my favorite ships

I had nothing better to do

This had to do with DC, but the most notes I've ever gotten on a DC post was I think 25? Which is a huge deal bc usually, I get nothing. But with a jedtavious post i made once I got like 43 notes and that's just on one alone and you have no idea how incredibly grateful I am for that. I wanted to do something for Christmas that was DC, but I also wanted to do Jedtavious. And as I said I noticed Jedtavious (at least for me) gets a lot more recognition than DC. And I wanted people to see my post, but I didn't just wanted to tag something as Jedtavious when it wasn't. So I threw in Jedtavious (I also just threw in some OC's bc why the hell would I have a random ship from a different fandom in a DC post?)

I didn't want this

I didn't want people to look for a ship they wanted only to see a ship of something that they probably have no idea about

I made it to bring my fandoms together that have probably have never been mentioned together before, not for Tumblr to be like "hey! Here's those tiny little gay guys from natm!" *shows a picture of a gacha version of a polyamorous relationship from the teen titans*

There are so many good drawings of these gay little guys, why this?

[shevr]

yknow i reblogged the cool fisherpon tumblrpon tribute post at 5am but to get back to it like

my time on pony ask blogs is yet another testament to a time where i wasn't unreasonably efficient and productive but still managed to keep up on stuff that i haven't been able to for years now

they weren't great but i did draw over 100 pages of my bad horse comic

so here whatever, digging up my old crap and listing all my stuff from back then :

Ask Aether : actually made that one first i keep forgetting it : wild that i'd actually reposted it publicly for archive purposes. very bad ask blog drawn in pencil about an edgy horse who would have been making dreams but i was already bad at fleshing out characters and lore back then

Ask Rusty was the one i did next and there was a 1st era to it that i archived at rusty-archives when i rebooted; it was also lame but thru it i met some people on tumblr and some were not great people but some were cool

Rusty Tales was the subsequent reboot when i basically gave up on the ask blog aspect to go full on comic and it was bad because i was not great at writing ( still amn't ) and the whole premise was this horse OC who was pretty boring and directly based on an unoriginal mix of Dr Horrible & a french webseries about time travel. Also at some point an entire section of a dystopian future horse city gets gassed to death. what the fuck.

Ask Lithium went along with Rusty Tales it was about another character from it and it was an attempt to practice digital art / use asks again / be cool and do an extended universe type deal ( it never went very far bc i was already failing to be seriously productive at that point )

I had a special side blog to collect fanart & cameos because i was vain and other people were doing that

Ultimately, Ask Raritrout is still the best thing i did back then

[iamanartichoke]

So.

This post has been a long time coming for me, and it's likely not going to endear me to anyone, but if I don't get this out then it's just going to fester until I eventually leave tumblr and I don't actually want to leave. So, yknow, there we are.

That being said, I'm writing this for personal catharsis, not to affect anyone else in any way. I'm not trying to, like, make a stand or call out people or judge anyone, even though it will seem that way. This is just my perspective and my feelings, and since it's my blog, I feel like I should be able to write it.

Basically I've been doing a lot of soul-searching since the holidays, about my life in general but also about tumblr and fandom. It's gotten to a point where I give tumblr a cursory login a few times a day so I can check notifs/the dash and maybe post a thing or two to feel like I'm still active, and then I go off and do something else. It used to be that I was on tumblr constantly, and I was having fun, and logging in and posting and interacting, and while I'm not advocating for spending all of one's free time glued to the computer screen, I have to acknowledge that even when the majority of my free time was spent glued to this site (and AO3), I felt fulfilled. The way a hobby is supposed to make you feel, yknow? Something fun to look forward to, to get invested in, to feel a sense of accomplishment with. I was investing a lot of time here, but I felt like I was getting back just as much, to the benefit of my own mental well-being.

And I've met a lot of wonderful people here. Before I joined the Loki fandom, it had been a very long time since I'd been part of any significant online "friend group," so to speak. I'm most comfortable in lurker mode. I don't like to draw a lot of attention to myself. I was also never in a fandom before, not really. I had my hyperfixations and my beloved content, but it varied, and I just engaged with that material in my own way. Which was fine, bc it wasn't something that was a major part of my life. Not until I discovered Loki did I actively want to participate in fandom. I was thinking about this character constantly, I was seeking out fanfiction for the first time in years, and I was even inspired to start writing my own fanfic, which I hadn't done in literally over a decade (rip my Baby-sitters Club fanfics on FF.net). I felt for and related to this character so much that it wasn't enough to just quietly lurk on the sidelines; I had feels to share and things to say and I had found a community with so many other people who knew how it felt.

None of this is unique to me, I'm sure. Every person who engages in the Loki fandom, or has, or will, felt some kind of connection to this character that brought them here, bc casual consumption wasn't enough. We're all here bc of Loki.

So it really saddens me to see how fractured the fandom has become, and to reflect on my own role in it. I've been holding my tongue on a lot of things for months, out of fear of disappointing people I care about, or out of fear of becoming a target, or out of fear of losing my community bc, tbh, I don't have much else for social interaction, especially since covid ruined all our lives. But the less I said, the more I just ended up removing myself from the community, and the truth is that while I don't want to disappoint anyone, there are a lot of people here who've disappointed me. And it's not fair for me to not acknowledge that; I can't beat myself up for saying things or having opinions that disappoint others while also internalizing all of the disappointment and exhaustion heaped on me by others, so that I feel like I'm the only one doing something wrong.

And I'm not saying that to call out anyone; like I said, this is cathartic for me to write. And far be it for me to say anyone is doing anything wrong in fandom, bc we all have our own perspectives and experiences and they affect how we engage in fandom spaces, and that's fine. You do you, boo, and all that. (Asode from death threats and harrassment; y'all need to cut that shit out.) But it would be disingenuous to not acknowledge the ripple effect that some people's actions and words have on others, including me.

I was going through my old blog posts from the last, I don't know, year or so and of course everything was a mess in fandom then, too, but not nearly as bad as it is now. Ragnarok wank was still the most prevalent wank, along with the building anticipation/anxiety over the series. And I was thinking about how my stance on Ragnarok aligned me with a certain group of people, and how my stance on the series conflicts with that, and how it might seem to the casual observer that I've "switched sides." There's a whole lotta discourse from antis about not understanding how people who hated Ragnarok could turn around and love the series, and feeling hurt/let down by those opinions, and I just can't help but wonder what they're thinking about me or if they feel let down by me. But the thing is, I've never hated Ragnarok, and I don't love the series. I think there's a lot wrong with Ragnarok and I have criticized it a lot, that's all. I think there's a lot wrong with the series, too, but there's a lot that I like, or appreciate. So no, I haven't "switched sides," - I'm exactly where I've always been, trying to engage with the material from the middle. I've never seen anything here as just black and white, love it or hate it, and it baffles me that so many do.

Now, I will say that some of that wank re: "switching sides" is legit, in that there are a couple of specific people who took their love for the show to the level of deciding it made them qualified to say that people who didn't and were vocal about it were too blinded by their own trauma/mental health in general to see the show clearly. And that sentiment, intended or not, has ended up being echoed by a lot of pro-series people, maybe not even knowing where it came from in the first place. Things like that contribute to the toxicity in this fandom and make the gap wider, and I get feeling hurt by that especially when it comes from someone once considered a close friend. So I'm not, like, saying these feelings are invalid.

But at the same time, it feels like anyone who previously had negative things to say about Ragnarok and now has positive things to say about the series is lumped into the same category as the people mentioned above, and that's harmful, too. A few months ago one of my posts, for example, got linked in a discord server that I happened to be lurking in at the time bc a lot of mutuals were in it, and I don't care that they disagreed with what I had to say but I do care that they said "Oh I thought I could trust her," like my posting an opposing opinion that says nothing about any other faction of fans and is focused on the series material makes me an untrustworthy mutual. It felt hurtful to me and, despite being such a minor slight in the grand scheme of things, has definitely contributed to my holding back on posting things - not only bc being talked about behind my back is a weird trigger for me (I had a tough adolescence) but bc I feel like I don't know who's nice to me on tumblr while thinking less of me as a person and ostracizing me on discord (or DMs).

What I'm getting at is, I have aligned myself with and befriended a good portion of the "negative" side of the fandom, and I often posted about how criticism shouldn't be treated as such a taboo, that people can post what they want to, that discussions and civil - nay, friendly - debate are good and should be encouraged. And I still feel that way; I don't think criticism should be frowned upon, and I do enjoy discussions even if there's differing opinions. That hasn't changed - but, over the course of the show airing and the six or seven months that have followed, the negativity faction has changed. It has snowballed into such toxicity that it has severely ruined Loki, and the fandom, for me personally.

(If you're a series-anti and we're still mutuals, btw, I am probably not talking about you. I have unfollowed the people, mutuals included, whose posts I no longer want to see, and there are a lot of antis on this site that I do not know, have never or rarely spoken to, and have no connection to, but who are so visibly anti that one can't help but be cognizant of them and their opinions. We also have mutuals in common so their posts are often on my dash. This is about them.)

(That said, if you're not comfortable being mutuals with me or if my posts make you feel let down or some other kind of way, please just unfollow me.)

And I think what was kinda the last straw for me is that some antis are no longer tagging negativity. I mean, I've been noticing a decline in the consistency of tagging for quite awhile now, but in the last few days, they are now not tagging on purpose in retaliation of getting harrassment and death threats. Certainly those things are far from okay, and I get the sentiment, but at the same time, I never harrassed anyone or sent any death threats. I'm just trying to mind my own business and salvage something from this fandom that's rewarding for me, and now I can't even curate my own dash properly.

Which brings me back around to my statement that the negativity has ruined Loki for me. Because the thing is, for me, while I feel there is a lot to be criticized about the series, I genuinely do not agree with many of the antis' takes and I'm tired of seeing them bc they don't change, they just grow and snowball into more extremes to the point where it seems like if you say anything positive about the series, there's at least one anti in the notes saying that thing is abusive or harmful. It can be incredibly frustrating on a meta level bc I disagree but don't dare engage about it, and it's frustrating on a fandom level bc the negativity is relentless. Posts about Avengers-era/TDW OG Loki cross my dash and there've been comments added like "oh, remember when Loki had good writers/Marvel cared" etc. I've also seen an increase in frequency of antis hopping on a pro-series post and ranting, for lack of a better word, about why the show sucks; it has happened on my posts, too. A couple of weeks ago I saw someone complaining about Loki and the series on a post about the Dr. Strange trailer, which had nothing to do with Loki. Just yesterday I saw a post in which OP wrote some meta on the subtle ways that Sylvie showed she cared about Loki, only for an anti to reblog with some "give her her own show then, I'm here for Loki," take which, of course, encouraged others to reblog with "yeah we hate Sylvie and she's a bitch to Loki" commentary, and like - the fuck are you even trying to accomplish, at this point? What do you gain? Certainly not catharsis, bc clearly none of you feel any better, and you're not saying anything new, either. Nor are you looking for genuine discussion bc you're obviously never going to change your mind, no matter what anyone says. So why? It's like there's this inability to tolerate people's enjoyment of the series without feeling the need to remind them that it's abusive and shitty.

Here's the thing about negativity - it's fucking negative. It feels bad and it makes people feel bad. I've seen post after post after post of antis talking about how angry they are, or how painful it is, or how disappointed and furious and heartbroken they are. Those are absolutely valid feelings, and I share some of them, but they aren't pleasant ones. Nobody enjoys feeling that way. It feels bad to feel bad, and that's why tagging was utilized in the first place. So people could avoid seeing posts that would make them feel bad.

Like I've said, repeatedly, I have criticisms of the show. Like. I don't even like it that fucking much! I don't agree with the faction of fans who think it's the best, most brilliant thing ever. But I do think it has heart, and I do care about the characters (yes, I care about Sylvie and I care about Mobius and I care about their bonds with Loki), and I don't feel like feeling bad. I feel bad most of the time in my life; mental illness is a bitch. When I come to tumblr to engage in fandom, I'm doing so as an escape. I want to enjoy myself. If I want to feel bad, I want it to be bc of fictional angst and struggle, not bc every time I turn around it seems like someone else is trying to remind me that Loki's character was ruined by the show or that supporting any aspect of it, especially a ship, makes one transphobic or supportive of abuse. People's consumption of fiction shouldn't be tied to or reflective of their morals anyway, but also, all it's accomplishing is spreading the negativity so more people feel bad.

So, yeah. The level and relentlessness of the negativity is what has ruined my enjoyment of Loki and of fandom. Not wanting to write or post meta bc I feel like if I criticize anything, antis will take it as a green light to start piling on the hate is a big part of it, but it's also not knowing who's disappointed in me or feels betrayed by me or is even just spilling tea about me bc of something I post or share. It's not being able to read fic, bc maybe I saw a post that day that hit on one of my own complaints about the series, and it wasn't tagged, and that person wrote a whole rant about it, and now I can't stop thinking about it to the point that it's actively distracting me from whatever I'm trying to read. I don't care that that person had that take, but I do care that I saw it and it affected me bc they decided not to tag it.

That's just an example of how the negativity can get under your skin and start affecting your perceptions. And, I mean, maybe the thing wouldn't have bothered me if I didn't also agree with it to an extent, but I should have the ability to decide, okay, x thing sucks but it is what it is, I'm going to focus on z bc that's what I'm getting enjoyment from and I want to feel good right now. I don't want to see some negative thing about x. I don't want to acknowledge my criticisms right now. Or if I do, I don't want it to go down the slippery slope of "mhm x was kinda shitty and I wish it hadn't been done" into "x is -phobic and toxic and harmful, and the creators did it on purpose to fuck over Loki, and also that Sylvie cunt should die in season 2" like - asdhjdasjk forget I said anything, damn.

Like I said, I don't expect this post to endear me to anyone, and I'm sure I'll lose some followers and possibly mutuals. If I hurt your feelings, I'm sorry; if I seem like I'm attacking anyone, I swear I'm not. I'm trying to get this weight off of my chest so that when I come to tumblr I can breathe again. I don't have a solution for all this toxicity, but identifying it and speaking it is, for me, better than nothing.

Please do not reblog this post.

[danikatze]

I got a bunch of new followers (hello 💖) bc of Inktober, and I came across this tag game today (on @vacationgerry 's blog!) so I figured I'd answer these questions as a sort of introduction :))

1. Why did you choose your url?

My name is Danika and a 4 year old English girl once, 15+ years ago, called me Danicat. I loved that so much that it's been my username most places since. It used to be danicat91 bc it wasn't available without numbers, but I hated the numbers so I changed it to the German version Danikatze a few years ago. (it's daanikatze on twitter and ig)

2. Any side blogs?

@danifanatic where I rb stuff is the only active one. I have another where I collect art refs/advice and only to never look at it anymore. And another one where I posted original art but that one's dead too (I don't make enough original art and I prefer posting it here anyway)

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Since 2012 I think

4. Do you have a queue tag?

for my sideblog yeah. It's "q"

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

.. bc I wanted to post nsfw stuff and I heard this is where I could do it hehe. I deleted most of it since then. I had a nsfw sideblog for a bit, but I deleted that too a few years ago bc it was dying anyway and then the porn ban happened and I got sick of it.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I love (and in some ways relate to) Shino and he's wearing one of my favourite hoodies in that one. Just really pleased with that drawing overall!

7. Why did you choose your header?

I thought it was cute and Wai just makes me happy :) (She's kinda my air bison oc? My best friend gave me an Appa plushie and it looked nothing like him, and so Wai was born ^^)

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

My dog dad Kakashi comic.. Almost 30k notes now

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Around 15 I think? I've talked to maybe 5 or 6 of them hahah

10. How many followers do you have?

A few thousand, but I accumulated them so slowly that I feel like half of them must've left tumblr by now hahah.

11. How many people do you follow?

78

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

In hindsight I guess the dog dad Kakashi comic is pretty much a shitpost ^^;

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

Err about 15-30 min every morning and then compulsively checking the rest of the day

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Once, wwwaay in the beginning.. I followed someone who kept bullying one of their friends. I told them said friend didn't seem to think it was funny at all, and they told me to mind my own business, after which I unfollowed them. I've learned to just unfollow people when their blog makes me anxious in whatever way (if I can't blacklist the stuff that makes me uncomfortable)

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I skip those very quickly, or maybe see if I can rb another version.

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes, but tagging other people is bad for my anxiety :P

17. Do you like ask games?

Yeah! It's been a while since I've done one

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

idk?

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Oh for an aro person I crush so much.. Art crushes mostly, like a mutual will post something and I'll go 🥰 ohh 🥰 amazing 🥰 how skilled 🥰 how cute 🥰

[sukunastoy]

hey, srry to be the one to rant in ur inbox but i saw u were open to anons and ur one of the few ppl ik in this fandom space thts around my age group and i was just wondering. how??

ive been on tumblr and in fandom/fanfic communities since i waz around 15, its basically my main hobby and pretty much the only social outlet i have, and ive just been so down and so lonely because ive been feeling shunned and excluded pretty much everywhere once i disclose my age and i absolutly completely understand WHY bc there r so many younger ppl in these places, but i dont know what else to do. it feels like nothing is fun anymore. the general consensus seems to b that i should just fck off and have some kids and pay bills until i die. how do u deal with it?? are u ever bothered by it? i feel likr a creep for even being here still, but it’s one of the only things i still have tht brings me joy. srry if that was a lot, i feel bad even compareing myself to u in any way because im nowhere near as talented as u are, absolutly delete this if it makes u uncomfortable whatsoever

hope u are doing well yourself 💙 ty for being u

First of all, NEVER be sorry to rant to my inbox!! And I truly feel appreciative for you to tell me all of this. This is a safe space and you're always welcome to it! My reply is a bit long, I didn't want to flood anyone with a super long post, so the rest is beneath the cut.

I completely understand how you feel, about the age thing and the ever present societal norms of "Must be an adult, must have kids, must do this, yada yada". Its depressing as fuck.

I've been into anime and manga since around 13-14 years old (apart from Pokemon which I've loved -And still do!- since the age of 5.)

I always wrote fanfics, always did fanart, even if I thought it was absolute garbage, I was still so happy just doing it. It has been something that got me through the toughest times in my life. I struggle with suicidal depression, always have for as long as I can remember, even back in my single digit days before even becoming a teenager. When I started to reach the age of "adulthood" I started to shy away from what I loved doing because I felt as an adult, I wasn't allowed to enjoy what I truly loved anymore, cause I needed to "grow up." And I did that. For a while. I rarely acknowledged anime. I sold all of my manga, my wall scrolls, my merch. I stopped drawing/writing it as much cause I needed to focus on being an adult, paying my bills, going to college, all that crap.

But, I got worse in my depression. I self harmed, had to go to therapy, had to start medication, and at one point I actually wrote that final goodbye note because I couldn't handle the norm of "being a mature adult" so I figured I must be useless otherwise. If I wasn't happy playing my adult role in society, what was the point of me even living?

During this time I went to college for 3 years, stressing, crying, working on a degree that I didn't even want because I thought it was expected of me. (I've always wanted to go to an art school and get a degree there. But my parents and everyone else in family told me, thats not a real degree. So I left it behind...) For 3 years I wasted my time and money and sanity to try to appease the people who don't pay my bills, don't put food in my mouth and certainly don't do shit for me otherwise, and I finally stopped and thought...

WHY?

WHY am I trying to impress and fit in with people who don't even really know me or provide for me?

I dropped out of the college that was stressing me out. I lost that money, but oh well, I was miserable, and my mental health is more important to me.

I don't want kids. I don't want that boring life of "just work til your dead". I don't want to have boring hobbies that I don't even like just to fit in with the people of my age range who I could care less about.

I'm turning 30 in a few months, and I regret wasting a few years of my life trying to fit into this norm of, bullshit. (And please note to whoever is reading this, if doing a lot of the 'norm' and having a family with kids and everything IS happiness for you, that is beautiful!! I am only referring to the people who don't want that life, and it should NOT be forced upon them.)

I love anime. I love drawing it, writing fics for it, interacting with other people over it, and I don't know why I ever tried to deny that.

I was afraid to return online in the fandoms because surely everyone must only be young teenagers right? Actually, not at all!

I've interacted with SO MANY people near my age range, and, it is truly amazing.

There are lots of people close in age, sometimes they're just a little difficult to find, but they are there, I promise, and they are amazing. I've enjoyed anime more in my adult life now than when I was younger tbh because I stopped caring about what others think and that my age is literally just a number. I'll be 30. So what, that doesn't change what I love. My body is getting older, that's all. I am still ME.

My fiance and I still go out and play Pokemon Go, collect Pokemon cards, like, I have BINDERS full of cards. The store we go to is ALWAYS packed with other people our age and way older who love Pokemon, Digimon, YuGiOh, and all sorts of other anime things they offer there.

These people are out there!

I started being more open with my likes and interests with strangers and coworkers, and I found out a lot of people really are into this, but felt they had to keep it hidden cause they didn't want anyone to think they were weird because of their age.

I surround myself with those who I know are supportive of me, or don't have a problem with my likes and interests and I stay away from those who try to shame me, and I kick them out of my life because I don't need that negativity in my circle. Some people my age who aren't into anime don't have a problem with me being into it at all. They've never shunned me for it. If anyone does, goodbye.

Life is short, its hard, its shitty. It doesn't need to be made worse by trying to appease those who aren't providing for you or feeling like you're not allowed to love what you love. So enjoy the things you love to enjoy. If there's something that you can latch onto that brings honest happiness into your life, cherish it.

I hope this helped in some way...even if just a tiny bit...

I know it was long, but I wanted to explain as much as I could so you don't feel like you're alone or left behind in the fandoms because of age. I tried to deny what brought me joy, and it only brought me more misery. I hated it.

I'm so much happier now, and I truly hope this type of peace comes for you soon as well.

Always feel free to drop in my inbox as anon, I would NEVER delete something like this.

Again, I hope this helped. If I didn't acknowledge something, or seemed to entirely misunderstand, I dearly apologize and please correct me if needed!!

💕 (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

(❁´◡`❁)~Stay shameless!

[kuriquinn]

Dear Mr. Kuri, thank you so much for your recent post concerning the young artist who was effectively censored from sharing his/her/their art on a particular subject (just... so sad). I was hoping to get your thoughts on how adults might navigate interactions with minors in this space. Specifically, extending our support for their work w/out necessarily... engaging with them. I know this sounds crazy stupid but before tumblr I wasn't really active on any social media and I had no idea (cont'd)

there were so many users under the age of 16 on this site. I've even come to learn that some identified users I had interacted with early on were as young as 13, and as someone in my 30's - tbh that scared the shit out of me. I totally agree that someone that young and impressionable would be crushed by the kind of criticism that poor artist faced, and would likely never create or share again... to their detriment. The thing is though, I feel really hesitant following any creator (cont'd)

that isn't 18 or older... What are your thoughts on following/reblogging/interacting with minors in fandom? I fully agree that they need support, especially from older users who don't care what some stranger on the internet has to say... but I just feel... like I don't know how to go about that the right way. I really REALLY don't want minors on my blog at all... sorry to bother you with this, just wondering how you'd suggest handling this. I didn't comment on the post bc I didn't (cont'd)

want to risk that young artist reading my inquiry and feeling even more alienated. As always, thank you for your time and insight. - Birk

I may go a bit off-topic here, but let me give this a try:

I think in, In the end, it all comes down to communication and mutual respect.

Adults have this pervading mentality that until a child hits 18, they need to be infantilized and sheltered, but once they pass that magical number, then it’s a free for all. So, for eighteen years, it’s all about sticking a Potemkin village in front of any idea, person or situation that a child might find uncomfortable (read: they don’t like the feelings it gives them; very different from actual harmful ideas/persons/situations). Then, these sheltered almost-adults enter public spaces and expect society to keep doing that…when it turns out that’s not how it works, they become toxic.

This is how poisonous movements like purity-culture develop online, or new fans who demonize older fans and adults as being perverts for enjoying the very same pastimes they have.

For those of us interacting with these people, the automatic reaction is to “cancel” that person, thereby alienating and isolating them even more in their bad behavior. Instead of taking the time to talk with and try to show them through actions that the world isn’t limited to what they know.

As adults in fandom, we know that a large majority of the fandom is younger, because we were them once. We were that 12-year-old discovering fanfiction existed or sharing drawings we made of our original Harry Potter characters or quoting our favorite movies and televisions ad infinite. We got shit for it in real life, so we had to create spaces of our own online.

We, in effect, built fandom so that it would be more welcoming for the generations that came after us. And while a lot of us stick to that unwritten knowledge, as the years pass, a lot more become gatekeepers. They set a standard of what a fan must know or do to be considered a “real” fan, and they’re mean about how they do that.

Is it any wonder that new fans coming in experience this behavior and then jump on the “adults in fandom is creepy” bandwagon?

These new fans coming in, especially tweens and teens, they still live in this false reality where they only get to enjoy themselves and be kids for a limited amount of time, and once they Become Adult they have to give it all up—and can’t figure out why all those old creeps online are still a part of such “childish” things.

That fault lies squarely on our society, which pushes kids from a young age to be thinking of what they want to do when they grow up so they can get out there and start producing, producing, producing for the state and becoming a “useful” member of society.

We as fandom veterans, need to do our best to teach them differently, and that comes right back to my point: communication and mutual respect.

Older fans need to respect newcomers, as much as the new baby fans need to learn to respect their fandom elders. There is no maximum age for fandom; there’s no minimum age, either, although the younger the fan, the more their parents should be keeping an eye out for the truly damaging stuff and teaching their kids how to avoid that stuff on their own.

Now, obviously, people don’t always announce online how old they are (though it does happen more frequently now than when I started writing), but regardless, there should be a certain etiquette to it.

When you interact with someone online, you don’t know if they are 15 or 50. And the way you interact with them shouldn’t change based on knowing their age. We should maintain the same level of respect for the new fans as the older fans.

So, as to how adults might navigate interactions with minors (especially when you know they’re minors)?

Treat them as any other intelligent human being: with respect.

Because how else are they going to learn?

My mom always used to say to us, “I’m not raising children, I’m raising adults,” which basically meant she was teaching us how to be adults. Kids don’t pop out of the womb magically knowing how to interact with the world, they take their cues from the adults that are already there.

Fandom babies learn how to be active participants in fandom from the people who are already there. And they’re more likely to listen to and look up to someone that treats them as a mature and capable being, than someone who dismisses them as too young or too green, or dismisses their knowledge and experience because they haven’t earned their metaphorical stripes.

Remember, a lot of these kids are coming to fandom because they need an outlet. In this age of helicopter parents, this is the only place where they get to be treated as an individual adult-in-the-making instead of the overly protected child or student that must be shielded from the world. A lot of them are trying to figure out how to deal with the horrors that happen to them or around them every day. That 16-year-old girl writing a rape/non-con fic under a pseudonym? She could be exorcising her own demons through the only way she has because no one in her life is listening to her. That 14-year-old writing about homelessness might know more about it than someone twice his age.

Expertise and experience knows no age, and as adults, we need to not fall into the trap of thinking it does. There are some kids out there that have seen and endured more than I can even imagine.

In recent years, there’s been this trend of treating kids like sexless beings until we, the adults, deem them capable of having a sense of sexuality. When the reality is, once kids start puberty, they’re developing that sexuality, and are trying to figure out what it means to them and how to navigate it, and the world. It doesn’t matter if adults are uncomfortable with it, this is what our human biology has decided for us.

And chances are, as much as adults try to curate the world and keep kids from seeing the darker, less safe stuff? They’re already doing it. I saw this when I was teaching, the kids are already accessing and interacting with stuff like sex, drugs, relationships… Whenever a faceless censor tries to block that sort of thing, they find a way around it. Humans are funny like that—we want the things that are kept away from us, whether harmful or not.

It’s our responsibility to help them think critically about what they’re seeing, and teach them to express themselves about it in a respectful manner.

So by all means: follow that amazing artist even if they are only 15. Their age doesn’t negate the fact that they have talent that needs to be nurtured and encouraged. Reblog the images and the fics that strike you, even if you find out the person writing it isn’t 18 yet. Send a shoutout via DM or review or comment to someone that you admire whether you know they’re age or not.

Unless you’re being actively creepy and offensive (and seriously, don’t do that, it’s gross whether the recipient is a minor or not), chances are these creators are desperate for some assurance that the medium they choose to express themselves in is having an effect on people—and that they have the power to make even adults sit up and listen.

So…TL;DR:

When interacting with younger fans, do so with respect. And if they say something problematic, don’t automatically cancel them and write them off as “obviously too young and immature to understand”. They understand more than you think and will seek out their interests whether adults think it’s appropriate or not. That’s how freedom works. But if we’re going to nip bad behavior like purity culture and agism in the bud, we need to start by treating minors in fandom as adults developing their worldview, not as infants to be sheltered.  

[evesbeve]

Exactly one year ago, I posted my first Ninjago fanfiction on Tumblr

(Yes, this is one of these big and personal posts, but bear with me for a second ^w^)

I've already talked about how much Ninjago means to me, and what a positive impact it has had on my life, but to celebrate a year into this fandom, I'd like to focus on its community here on Tumblr.

I've always been into Ninjago. In fact, I started watching it back in 2011, when it first came out!

Later on, I discovered fanfiction. It was like a dream come true, to read original stories about my favorite ninja, and to write them myself too! Eventually I began posting them, and I must say... They weren't good XD

But hey, I loved writing them! So I did just that - I kept writing and writing, until... Well, I grew out of Ninjago when I reached 7th grade.

But last year, I decided to rewatch the entire series during Christmas break. It was like falling in love with my favorite ninja all over again.

And who would have thought there would be an active fanbase here on Tumblr?

I remember scrolling down the tag and smiling at every single artwork and piece of fanfic (+ memes, of course. Who can forget about memes?) that I found.

(And bruh, discovering bruiseshipping? Holy FSM, that was truly a Christmas miracle.)

On December 28th of 2017, I made my first Ninjago Vocal Cover.

The feedback I got was incredible. I had never, ever received such positive comments before, and the encouragement to do more helped me get out of the bad mental state I was in.

So I got writing again.

If I was going to post Ninjago, I was going to post Pixane.

So I did do that, and on January 1st of 2018, I posted my first Ninjago fanfiction in years.

Did I post it as soon as I finished it? Yes!

Had I beta-ed it? ... No...?

It was still a huge step for me though! Once that story was up, I was on freaking fire.

To make you understand, I published a total of 30 Ninjago related stories (and that was just the stuff I made public!)

I have never produced this much content before!

If that wasn't enough, I picked up my YouTube channel again, occasionally made some art, and heck, somehow I got motivated to clean up my room to make space for LEGOs.

I even had the pleasure of hosting a collaborative project with around 30 people! (Yes, the new one is on the way, we're all still working on it :D)

Suddenly I was motivated to do stuff, I wasn't sad all the time, I made new friends!

All that is because of YOU.

I'm just a random girl from Greece that happens to like a bunch of LEGO ninja. Yet, you've treated me with so much kindness, and made me feel like so much more than that.

I'm not oblivious to the fact that I am known inside this fanbase. I just want to make sure you know that you made my voice loud.

And for that, I am greatful.

I am greatful for the joy you've given me, and the memories I was able to make because of you.

I've always wanted this blog to be a place of positivity. It makes me so incredibly happy that you can seek to it to get away from everything else, that it makes you happy.

This blog, is our blog.

So I'd like to take a moment to personally thank a few people from this community that played an important role in my life in 2018. If you don't want to go through a big thank you list, that is totally understandable, so I'll put it under the cut. To those of you who are leaving this post now,

Happy New Year!

Before I start, I'd like to say that it would be impossible to include every single person I know into one post. If you're not in here but you're still relatively active, chances are I don't know you personally (but I have probably noticed you!) OR I accidentally forgot to include you, in which case I'M SO SORRY, AAAA!

Without any further ado!

Thank you @diamantdrache, for drawing me like three times without me even asking, holy crap ;w; You're so amazing dude, I'm always happy to see you around. Keep being awesome!

Thank you to @strawberryhipster and @kunoichi-of-fangirling for always screaming with me about Pixane!

Thank you @i-am-the-bluejay for making me laugh through your amazing bruise fanfics! They never failed to cheer me up :D

A special thanks to @parachutingkitten, for, gosh, everything. Discovered your fanfics during a very hard time, and trying to solve the mystery behind them kept me going. You're so kind and sweet to me all the time, and I'm so happy we ran into each other!

Huge thanks to @volzorra for dropping by my inbox to tell me the randomest of things! I adore everything you do, keep it up!! :D

Thanks to @panwitha-plan, @purplerose244, @monstriframinerva and @ninjago-rewritten for making me giggle whenever you pop up in my feed and notifications! You guys rock 💜

A big one to @ninjakitten1699 for coming up with such amazing scenarios featuring the one true mastermind of Ninjago - Dr. Kitty Saunders! Not only that, but somehow you always remember what stuff I like, and tag me in funny posts (and angst bc I live for that) and making my day! Thank you so much for everything!

Thank you @coco-jaguar for being a mom to all of us in the fandom, and organising such cool events like the Secret Santa!

Thanks to @loud-quiet-and-fragile for going through 100 of my posts at once and commenting at every single one! You're just so fun to be around, and my mood instantly improves when I see you!

You knew it was coming, @nightlybirdie! Thank you, for always responding to my yelling about your art, and for yelling on my content as well! You're one of the sweetest people I know, I'm seriously so happy we met!

Thank you to @kara-is-so-ninja!! For not only having such an amazing AU, but for spreading joy everywhere you go! I admire your work so freaking much, but I admire you as a person even more. Thank you for always putting a smile on my face 💜

Thank you @ninjagojed, for being so easy and fun to talk to! I enjoy your company to death!

HUGE THANKS TO MY WONDERFUL DAUGHTER @lindsey-chr-not-found!! I've known you for so long and, its amazing we found each other again! Thanks for screaming to me about our ideas, and, well, for letting me adopt you XD

A big thanks to @echojulien for being such a supportive friend, and always there when I'm in need of our boy Echo!! :D

This is where it starts to get really difficult to fit things into a single paragraph...

To @hottchoco, who is basically one of the reasons I started shipping bruise in the first place, thank you for opening my eyes. Thank you for being that one person that is somehow into all of my fandoms at once, and screaming to me in random about them. Thank you for, even though we have different tastes sometimes, being respectful no matter what. Thank you, for being my shoulder to cry on when I need it. Thanks for everything dude :D 💜

Thank you @spinharmony, for creating a server where I made such amazing friends, and for BEING one of those amazing friends. It's so easy to talk to you about anything. You're always there, whether it's screaming about our misunderstood favorite characters, or talking about our problems. Thank you so much for just being there. I am so lucky to be able to call you my friend 💜

Thank you @hollsheadcanons!! You were one of the first people I met in this fandom, and definitely someone I was comfortable with since day one. We spend so much time just meming and yelling, that I literally feel like there's nothing to be afraid of when I'm with you. You make all my problems disappear, but you're also here to comfort me when I'm in need of hugs. Words are not enough to describe how much you mean to me. You're one of my best friends in the entire world, and for that, I thank you. Love you so much Holls!!💜

And finally, @clumsinessinperson and @ninjagoruinedmylife. You two, it feels wrong to talk about you separatedly because we're always together! I don't even know where to begin with you guys, I just love you so freaking much. No matter how upset I am, you always lift me up. You're so understanding of how I feel, and I know I can always count on you for anything. I just can't believe how close we are, and how many things we've created and been through together. I want you to know that you mean the world to me, and I love you so much. Thank you for being my friends. I love you 💜

To everyone reading this, regardless of being in my list or not, thank you so much for being part of my year, and for being part of my life. Thank you for everything 💜