#some of these are really sweet things I wanted to see
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M.I.L.F. (Make It Last Forever) â L.DH
Haechan, a favorite among classy wives to hire during the hot summer season for a nice, thorough pool cleaning, seems to have a favorite wife of his own. You. Or the one where Haechan was the pain-in-your-ass son of the family you used to babysit for, but now heâs making it his mission to be the pain-in-your-ass pretend husband that you never asked for, but very clearly need.Â
minors dniÂ
PAIRING â lee haechan x afab milf!reader Â
WORDCOUNTâ 18.9k
CONTENTâ Â age gap: reader is 31Â and haechan is 24, milf trope/single mother reader, college pool boy haechan (turned part time babysitter), reader has 1 kid and haechan really wants to give her another, reader has morals!! haechan just doesnât see it as a moral issue, he is actually very sweetÂ
!WARNINGS! â Â age gap, haechan is somewhat of a manipulator, heâs gentle but wonât take no for an answer. dub-con in one instance. major breeding kink and kind of a mommy and daddy kink (domesticity), angst regarding reader and her ex husband, reader has huge titsÂ
NOTE â this was written for jay from enhypen over on my other blog, but i am gifting it to you guys here as well! I WROTE THEM BOTH!!!! NOT PROOF READ.
nsfw tags under cut
nsfw tagsâ thick big dick haechan, small instant dubious consent, tit obsessed haechan, groping and grinding, mommy/daddy kink, breeding kink, unprotected sex, cum stuffing-ish,pussy eating, fingering, basically itâs haechan doing stuff to you, this ainât smut this is making love, also reader doesnât shave her coochie and haechan fucking loves it.
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Having a stray eye isnât typically something you afford yourself when it comes to men. Things tend to change with time though, that much you know is true.Â
It was proven to you for the first time when your ex husband decided to up and leave you three weeks before your due date for a womanâwell, girl, fresh out of highschool. Years of trust and promises crushed with just a single sentence and a slam of the door. Time mustâve changed you for him to leave so heartlessly. Time mustâve changed him to become so cold.Â
 It was proven again when you were able to heal despite never believing you could. Seconds of pain turned to minutes, to hours. Days. weeks. Months. Years of pain before being able to wake up and feel somewhat numb to it all. Like a flip switch in your head that told you that you can be happy now even if as a single mother. After all, the hard part was over.Â
It took some four to five years, but it did happen. Time did change you, it healed you, it matured you. As your child grew, so did you. And for the better, you think. You count your blessings of living a life far more lavish than you ever could have anticipated given the circumstances that had been thrown at you. Even to the point of nesting, wanting another child, wanting a big and happy family. But alas, your ex husband had better things to do.Â
At the end of the day, youâd never be able to call this home yours if you had stayed with your ex husband. He didnât like this kind of âflashyâ lifestyle, and to him, everything you wanted seemed too flashy for him. Perhaps he was right to some extent, as you recognize the brand name goods you now own, solely because you had promised yourself in the depths of your despair that youâll get to a point in life where you can buy yourself everything you not only need, but want. So, here you are, owning an expensive home, in a nice neighborhood, with a nice car and a nice pool.Â
Your daughter has everything she could want and need too, aside from a sibling, itâs certainly still more than what you had growing up and itâs all because of you. A fully decorated bedroom drenched in glitter, purples, creams, yellows, and pink, her favorite color. All sorts of play houses, costumes, dolls, a few lego sets, and even some plastic swords and knives for the days she wants to pretend to be her favorite movie characters. Clothes she can grow into, and a nice little fund building up for her as she grows up. Her first car, college, help for a downpayment on her own first house.Â
Both of you have everything you could ever want or need and for that, youâre so proud. Especially knowing your husband would have never believed you could make it this far without him. Still, despite having everything you could ever ask for, thereâs something in you that feels empty.
Time changes things.Â
Time changes a lot of things, you note more than usual, as the man youâve been ogling for the past three weeks makes himself far more known to you than you ever wished he would.
The interaction with him was always so quick before today and given the fact that he was a complete stranger, you never quite invited him into your home consideringâyou know, small child and all. You had hired him over text. Haechan, your neighbor said his name was. His handsome features didnât offer you anything more than a clean pool and a wandering eye.Â
Your neighbor apparently has a friend who has a cousin that has an even nicer pool than you do. Given, itâs only a nicer pool due to the fact that this young man, Haechan, tended to it weekly and made damn sure it could be drunk out of if a person had a craving for chlorine.Â
You feel like an idiot now that it didnât dawn on you quick enough. Sure, he looked a bit familiar to you but who doesnât when youâre always out and about seeing so many different faces on a daily basis? His name, Haechan, didnât ring any bells. Now though, the shame of staring at his sweaty pecs and biceps came crashing down the moment you realized who Haechan actually is.Â
He didnât do a damn thing to remind you either, if anything, all he did was walk around all sweaty in the afternoon heat with his tank top either sticking to him, or off entirely. It appears that you had just been too busy running errands with your child, considering his shifts were always when you were home. Too busy cooking, cleaning, reading, lounging. Too busy looking atâŠwell, not his face.Â
Too busy to give the man a glance more than that of a slice of pie behind a bakery window.Â
Haechan.Â
Since fucking when was that his name?
âLee Donghyuck.â You whimper near mortified, three weeks too late as you hand him his pay with nervous hands. âSpray-cheese in my hair Donghyuck?âÂ
âAh, was wondering when youâd pick up on that.â He smiles at you with that crooked grin, a knowing look that any man at a bar would give you if he had caught you checking him out. Then, he pockets the hefty amount of cash that you hand to him. âI go by Haechan more often these days.â He trails off, an amused smirk half-falling as he looks at your expression of realization. âYou can call me whatever you want though.â
Heâs well aware of how often youâve checked him out since he started intentionally taking his clothes off. After all, itâs mid-july by this point and the sun baring down on him doesnât quite call for a fucking turtle neck sweater. Or a T-shirt, or a tank top, for that matter. It calls for all skin baby, beautifully tanned and toned for you and any of your neighbors to look at if they so wanted to.Â
Haechan doesnât work out for nothing, after all. Summer after summer, heâs found himself to be quite fond of the rich women that hire him for their pool services. Always wanting an attractive young man to wander around half naked and satiate their lack of sex life with their husbands, or boytoys, or what have you. He knows all that extra pay isnât because he does a good job either. Heâs gotten winks, small comments, even a few offers of his body for more pay.
Heâs turned them all down, of course. For a full-on affair, anyway. Haechan has gotten a few blow jobs and quickies as a tip before though, and a lot of that is why he keeps getting referred to more women. Richer women. Never single women.Â
Until you.Â
He quite enjoyed catching you looking at him. Especially given the fact that he knew exactly who you were when you introduced yourself to him via text. That little childhood crush on you came back within an instant upon actually seeing you again. Truly, he had forgotten all about you up until that fateful day three weeks ago.Â
If heâs being honest, heâs been pining something fierce since he first stepped foot on your property. Excitement swelled inside of him just to see you again. To see if youâre still hot, to see how youâre doing, what youâre doing. How your life is going.
 He knew you didnât recognize his nickname through text, and he definitely knew you didnât recognize him to be eating him up with those eyes of yours either. So, he played along, enjoying it while he could before it would inevitably dawn on you. Still, he remembers you so well from back then. Crazy to know that he rarely thought of you for the past twelve years or so, and how all those little butterflies of his came back in a far more mature way. He was only twelve back then, but heâs a man now.Â
Twenty four and perfectly sound as a man who knows what he likes. The fact that you happen to fall into that category is no fault of his own, honestly. Itâs your fault if anyoneâs at all. Haechan is a man that likes a specific type of woman too. Woman. Not a girl, not a young lady, not a free spirit, nor a prude. He is drawn to the idea of experience, to the idea of settling down. Itâs not easy to find that at his age, in college, surrounded by party girls and casual drug use.Â
And, well, imagine his smile upon seeing your lovely, lavish home with the large pool, no ring on your finger, a whole fucking child, and your motherly instincts when you buckle her into the car for an errand. Oh and the broken fence in the far back of your yard.
Youâre a single mom.Â
A hot single mom who lives lavishly. One who could probably use a manâs help around your house.
He half expected you to be able to recognize him when he appeared for work the first time. He even had a monologue in his head on what to say to you, and how to present himself. You didnât seem to take notice though, introducing yourself to him as if you hadnât spent all that time in his childhood home when you were a teenager. Like you never mothered him, or put him to sleep with the soft stories when you let him watch all those scary movies before bed. Even at twelve, he was a scaredy cat.
 Clearly youâre too busy experiencing life to notice the way he fawns over you too. Hating how youâre more reserved than the other lavish, fixed-up women. You seem to have standards, or maybe itâs just priorities ... that's so hot. Truly, it only makes him want you more because by now, the other women would already be rubbing all over him. The ones who shouldnât be wanting him the way they do. So, yes, heâs always stealing glances at you with sparkling dark eyes, fantasizing in his head that this pool is his to clean now, because thatâs what a good man would do for you, right? With him around servicing your pool and lawn, youâd never need to hire or spend money on another broke ass college student again.
Yes. Thatâs how quickly he fell into this infatuation solely because you looked at him like you want it without realizing who he was. Hell, without realizing how perfect you are in terms of what he wants.
God, how are you still single?Â
Like, why do you have a child and a house so beautiful without a man wandering around doing all of this work for you? Not that you couldnât do it on your own, itâs just, you clearly have the means to make a man do as you please. Why havenât you?
You happen to fall almost perfectly into the categories of what heâs looking for. Save for the fact that now you recognize him as that kid you used to babysit rather than the man who tries to be sexy while cleaning your pool. Which is a fucking shame, if heâs being honest, to be written off as that same ten year old child rather than a fucking man who very clearly has needs and desires.Â
The point isâ Haechan wants you and he parades around your pool for you to look at him. So what if you used to babysit him? Itâs not like youâre an old swamp-hag trying to lure him with candy. Youâre justâŠa woman. And heâs just a man.Â
âWell, thank you for cleaning again,â You trail off in an awkward tone, shifting your eyes to anywhere but him. He watches you though, smiling a smile you know all too well from his childhood antics. It must mean something different now, or maybe not. âI guess Iâll see you next week?âÂ
âWell, actually,â Haechan offers, âWould you be opposed toââ You cut him off instantly with an awkward wave of your hand.
You donât know why you make assumptions, maybe from that damned smile on his face, but you do recall your ex husband reminding you time and time again that itâs one of the things he hated about you.Â
Assumptions. Always thinking the worst, or perhaps the most filthy of situations and expressions. To be fair, you feel guilty about how youâve been looking at him, you canât help but panic trying to pretend like it never happened, and that he never saw it happen.
âIâm not interested, Donghyuck.â You respond hastily, pressing your thumb to your bottom lip to bite the skin on it, keeping your eyes away from him with the awkward words. After all, he knew who you were this whole time and paraded around like that?Â
Even before recognizing him yourself, you know men well enough to know when theyâre trying to flaunt. Is it so wrong to assume?
âInterested in what?â Haechan tilts his head knowingly, seeing the way you buckle under the guilt of staring at the very man you used to tuck into bed every night. He can see the way you try to push those sexual thoughts you had away in the quick rejection to a simple assumption.Â
 âI was just going to ask if you want me to fix your fence.âÂ
Ah, you did get ahead of yourself through the guilt, and youâre far too aware of it as you draw your eyes back to him and note the expression on his face. Amused, maybe a bit of concern in his eyes, even?Â
âAh, umââ You start, trailing your eyes down your fence line never once noticing a break in it. Haechan is quick to point though, leaning to you with a whisper of âright there.â And well, you did not need to hear that tone in his voice the way you just did.
God, itâs so awkward.
âWell, how much would that cost me?â You question with an empty voice, staring at the broken fence.Â
âFree.â He uses the same tone, leaning away from you now and smiling wide. âThat is, if you provide lunch.âÂ
Well, despite the awkwardness, that break over there would cost you a pretty penny to fix, and your daughter needs the safety of playing in her own yard without random animals or worse, people, making their way in. Plus, youâre quite fond of saving money. How else would you be here if you werenât good at it? And now, given that youâre most definitely not interested in Haechan, what's the harm in making a few sandwiches for someone you already know well enough? Itâs not like youâve never made him lunch before.
The awkwardness will pass and your guilt will subside. You both will laugh at it over a cold glass of iced lemonade, surely. Itâs not like you realized who he was anyway, itâs not like youâre just gonna keep looking at him like that. You should just push forward and itâll all be fine.Â
âHell, Iâd even watch the kiddo so you can have a break every now and then.â He watches your reaction, wanting to ask so many questions about why youâre single, who the father is, where he is, why he isnât here. âAfter all, I learned quite a bit from you.âÂ
For a second you consider that too.
And thereâs three reasons as to why you should. The first being that you were literally just looking for a new child care facility due to learning of the staff coming to work while sick. Your poor daughter came home with a fever just last week, and youâve had little luck in finding a place with the same educational benefits for her.Â
The second being that, well, while youâre not hurting for cash or anything, it wouldnât hurt to be able to put a little more back for her college fund. Or for fun little vacations.Â
And lastly, despite your guilt of lusting over someone you shouldnât have, you know Donghyuck and you know his family even better. No background check would be needed, your daughter could be in the comfort of her own home rather than a classroom setting that sheâs sure to see for at least twenty years of her life in the future.Â
So, yes. You consider it instantly, and Haechan sees it.Â
You only know of the childhood version of him and, well, the slutty pool-side version of him apparently. If only you knew of that other side of him and how fond he is of watching his own younger cousins. How good he is with children, and how much he clings to the idea of being a father one day.
Haechan is great with kids, with or without them having a hot mom.
And well, he knows that heâs fond of looking at you at least. Besides, as long as you can work with his class schedules, heâd be willing to do just about anything to play pretend-husband, even if youâre unaware of it.Â
âIs that so?â You finally ask, curious eyes looking at him with a furrowed brow. âShouldnât you be out living the life? College parties and such?â You add, wondering why such a great deal has managed to flop down on your lap. The idea of even cheaper childcare without the risk of unvaccinated children, and sick caretakers being far too good of a deal to pass up.Â
âWell, yeah I guess.â He shrugs, leaning backwards to stretch and roll his shoulders. âNot really my scene though. I have classes Monday and Wednesday all day, Tuesday and Thursdays my classes are online. If you can work around that, Iâd rather just be making money and chilling.âÂ
You think about it just for a second more when he continues.Â
âI can be here on weekends too. Maybe you should be the one out relaxing and having some drinks.âÂ
âWell, I donât quite need that, or for you to be here on weekends.â You think as you say it, knowing you have given up on going out to try and meet men two years ago. âI could pay you though, letâs say, thirty an hour?âÂ
Well, shit, thatâs not too bad at all, especially considering heâs about to give up on cleaning the pools of a few women in his contacts for this. Itâs a major pay cut, but still enough to get by comfortably if youâll have him multiple times a week. That plus the pool cleaning money? And free lunch?Â
âOh, you donât go out at all? I donât see why not, could probably get a man in no timeââ Haechan ignores the wage offer and pushes to note the singlehood he had been noticing for the past three weeks. âand the pay is fine.âÂ
âAh, well, the dating pool isnât so great in this neck of the woods.â You scratch the back of your neck when you say it. âThat aside, I'll have her in day care on the days you canât be here, but it really would be a big help. Thank you for the offer, Donghyuck. And for the fence too.âÂ
He watches you with a firm nod, shoving his hands into the pockets of his basketball shorts, still entirely shirtless in front of you.Â
âAnd the pool.â You add quietly after a moment.Â
âI think youâd be surprised about the dating pool.â He smiles as he pushes the subject back to what you had previously said, hoping you believe those words before continuing. âSo, when do you want me to start?âÂ
âIs tomorrow too soon? Youâre okay to set up here with your online classes?â
âTomorrow is perfect.â He smiles.
âIâm sure she would be so happy knowing she wonât be going to daycareââ You clap, feeling a bit less awkward despite the boldness of the man in front of you. Youâre sure heâs just teasing you for knowing you checked him out. âI know I am.âÂ
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Itâs a little too perfect, actually.
After that first day of watching your child and making a lazy attempt at âfixing your fence,â heâs settled in like itâs home. He wishes it was, with the lavish lifestyle in a house far too pretty compared to his own living space with piles upon piles of laundry heâs too lazy to pick up for himself.Â
Itâs different for you though. Different when heâs here.
Truly, he feels like heâs living the life after a couple of weeks with decent pay and a comfy space to do his homework. He watches your child, which is arguably the hardest part of the job but sheâs well behaved for him. In fact, she seems to have taken a shine to him.
Heâs starting to be very intentional with taking far too long to work on your fence too, and still maintaining your pool. Heâs trying to drag this out for as long as he can. Even if just to see if you still look at him when you come home the same way you did before recognizing him. You never do though. When his shirt is off and heâs wiping his forehead in the sun, you donât look at him anymore.
Hell, heâs even considered breaking things in your home just to give himself more jobs to do. More things that make him feel needed, like a husband. More things that you thank him for fixing, even if it breaks again two days later.
And ah, the food in your fridge is always free reign to him, that large television in the living room too. God, sometimes he dreads going home, and by sometimes, he means all the time. Who in their right mind would ever fucking want to live outside of this lifestyle? He really canât believe youâre single, nor can he believe that he has the opportunity to be in your home, close to you. It shouldnât take too long now to convince you, right? That you donât necessarily have to be single? That you need him around to live even more comfortably?
In short, Haechan is in his head about how heâs practically just roleplaying as your stay-at-home husband before having to go back to his shitty little apartment and remind himself that heâs just a fucking college student with no interest in the people on campus. And like, even with the way you come home from work, all groggy and exhausted on the days heâs there, you always thank him before giving him his pay. What he likes best about those nights is when youâre too exhausted to even pay him and you promise to do it next time.
In his mind, thatâs you promising to see him again.Â
He could give less of a shit about the pay at this point, as long as he gets to be in this house, smelling your favorite candles and dish detergents, seeing you, being a semi-father to a child who deserves more love than the two of you combined can giveâŠheâll fucking do anything you want for free.Â
Itâs difficult sometimes, like he really canât help it. Some days wandering around this house and imagining how the two of you could have landed on buying it together. How the rooms would be organized if he were here from the start. Claiming his spot on your couch like any dad would. Playing dolls with your daughter, laughing with her, letting her paint his nails and put his hair in little pigtails. He even cleans your pool as if it were his own, meaning, he genuinely cleans it.Â
He has taken it upon himself to mow your lawn, confusing the yard workers that you apparently hired years ago. Did he accidentally fire them? Maybe, but any good husband would save you money, right? He checks your mail, waves to your neighbors and lets them make assumptions.Â
And every single fucking night itâs harder and harder to go back home.
Especially after a full day of playing dad then seeing you come back so tired. Turning off that switch in his head isnât easy. He wants to greet you like the husband you donât have. He wants to ease your hard days in so many ways. Tell you heâs proud of you, that you still look so pretty after an exhausting shift of whatever the fuck you do. He wants to serve you dinner, run you a bath, fix your hair, lay you downâ oh, heâs fantasizing again. Unfortunately, he has to settle with seeing the relief on your face when he lets you know in a soft voice that heâs cooked dinner and he will heat it up for you before leaving, kiddo is in her room sleeping, no dishes in the sink, and laundry is folded and put away.Â
He loves the appreciation in your eyes, and sometimes even sees a glint of sadness. He can tell you wish you had this from a person who isnât here for pay. Someone who loves you, and loves your child, and feels joy in making your life easier.Â
Fuck, if only you knew.Â
And youâd be lying if you tried to say Haechan isnât a godsend to you on the days he babysits. Many times you find yourself wishing heâd just move in and do everything that you canât do. Youâd pay him well, give him a guest room, whatever. But itâs justâŠnot viable to support a full time employee like that, nor is it fair to your daughter.Â
She needs a parent, not a paid college student who needs some extra cash. You have to be that parent, you have to make time for her and witness all of her joys in life. You have to protect her and never bring in faces of men who claim to want to be a father, only to run and break her heart more than your own.Â
For now, you settle with this godsend of a little shit you used to babysit. Still you can barely believe thatâs the same person, but againâŠtime changes things. And thankfully, the awkwardness of what you did has died down drastically.
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Today, youâre more thankful for Haechan than you have been previously. After a heavy workload has been lifted off your back with the approval of this project, you need a night out. For the first time in years, youâre giving yourself a night out, all because you have someone you can trust to be here for your daughter.
He was so understanding when you called, happy to come over right then and there to put her to bed and mostly just house-sit for the night. Even without an end time for him, and even without asking for extra pay, he justâŠaccepted with an understanding tone and that stupid breathy chuckle he gives to you when you ask for favors. âWhat? You need me there right now? Iâm putting on my shoes.â He had said.
Itâs the fact that now, as he sits on your couch looking at you in your chosen outfitâ he seems a little off. Maybe itâs because you asked him where the best spots in town are because itâs been so long since youâve gone out, or maybe he just feels awkward seeing so much skin on your body.Â
To be fair, he didnât realize you were going out out. He thought that maybe you were gonna go stay with a friend to celebrate and have a drink or two.Â
In reality though, heâs just awestruck. Already you look great even after your busy days at work butâŠthis is a different level. The way your tits look in that push-up bra and tiny ass top, when heâs used to seeing you head out in some sort of business casual outfit without an ounce of skin showing save for your ankles or wristsâŠjesus. Heâs struggling more than usual to keep himself calm around you, hopping up on one leg when you walk away to try and adjust the chub in his pants, and releasing a small sigh before youâre looking at him again.
His skin feels like itâs on fire knowing youâre going out looking like that.
âYou sure you're okay to sleep over? I figure itâll be easier since Iâm not sure when Iâll come home, or if I come home.â You smile with a wink, your stomach in knots over the two shots youâve taken for the first time in years. âI can call my friends and tell them not to come if youâd rather focus on your studies.âÂ
Haechan shakes his head, waving his hands in defense for you as if he didnât just see the way your tits bounce and squish against your shirt with each move you make.Â
âNo, no! Go on, have fun.â He says, encouraging you to go out despite hoping you come home with no luck of finding a man out there.Â
Just, look at you. Fuck, heâs staring again. He hates knowing that he could be one of the guys at whatever bar or club youâre landing on tonight. He could be the person that makes sure you donât come home, getting to plant his face right there. He could be whatever you want him to be if youâre looking like that.Â
But no, he has to play husband again, which is normally something heâs all too excited to do. Tonight though, he feels like a fucking cuckold. After everything he does for you, after not mentioning how youâve skipped a few of his payments, after slaving away for hours over your pool, your household chores, fixing and breaking that fucking dishwasher, cooking you dinner every single night heâs here just to make sure you have a meal when you get off of workâŠyou imply you may not come home tonight?
And youâre dressed like that?
And youâreâŠ
God, you just look so good right now. It pains him to know you didnât dress like this for him, the only man who cares enough to make your life easy. Heâs not mad at you, per se, but heâs pissed that you donât see him as an option despite showing you time and time again that not only is he an option, but the right choice.Â
This is what you look like when you want to impress a man? This is how you act? How you talk? Fuck, god, fuckâ maybe heâs just too deep in his one-sided roleplay but it really, really fucking feels like heâs watching his woman go off and look for someone else to fuck.
âThank you, Donghyuck,â You smile, walking over to him with a saunter in your step and a gentle smile across your lips.Â
Heâs never heard you speak his name so sensually, the way his cock twitches forces him to wince away from you. Heâs never even seen you saunter before. Fucking hell, somehow it feels worse seeing you act like this after how many times heâs imagined it, all alone in his room.Â
A slow walk from you, with the strap of your shirt slipping off your shoulder, fat tits threatening to spill out, lifting the hem of your skirt, or dress, or whatever youâre wearing in his fantasy at that point. Your voice, so soft, so sexy. And youâre practically bringing his fantasy to life right now, except he knows youâre going to fucking walk away from him like this. Into the fucking arms of some random dude at a club.Â
Probably some loser heâs seen on campus too.
âIt means a lot.â You add, popping a quick, platonic kiss to the top of his forehead.Â
Ah, lip gloss. That little kiss on him is enough to ignite him to the point of no return. He almost wants to skip the part of asking you not to go and straight up just beg that you pick him, that you choose him. Itâs not just your home, or the luxuries that come with it. Itâs you that he wants. Youâre the fucking luxury and youâre just gonna go to some sticky-floored club and pretend heâs not clearly checking you the fuck out right now? Like heâs not about three seconds from dropping to his knees just to see you from the angle you deserve?!Â
âItâs no problem.â Haechan relents, dropping himself onto your couch instead and adjusting his body to sink deep into the cushions just to keep himself from arguing against everything heâs giving you permission to do right now.Â
Hah. Permission.
âBe safe.â He adds in an even more monotone voice. âIâll be here when you get back.âÂ
And god, he seethes in his thoughts after you close that door and hop into the car with your friends. You donât look like a mother tonight, and he wonders if youâll be upfront and forward with anyone you intend to hit on too. Probably not. Heâs well aware of the men in this city, after all, heâs one of them.
Itâs really not something he can control after seeing you like that either. Your child is already in bed and heâs just sitting here on your couch with a throbbing, fucking weeping cock thinking about you. Whatâs stopping him from taking care of it? Youâre not here, after all.Â
Youâre not fucking here. But everything about you is.Â
And thatâs how he finds himself in your bedroom for the first time, barely making it a foot into the room before closing the door and dropping to the floor. The scent in your room is different. Itâs feminine, gentle, like the energy is kissing him all over and sending goosebumps straight to the head of his cock. He couldnât even pull it out, already holding his breath with his hand down his pants, vigorously trying to get what he wants so badly yet knowing that his hand will never compare to you.Â
And itâs here where he feels like a husband. Spilling against his pants with a silent, choked back sob as he stares forward at your bed, and the way you didnât make it this morning. Itâs messy, and he wants to be in that mess of sheets with you more than anything.Â
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Haechan hates that heâs now forced to get used to your late night ventures. Every weekend now. Every. Fucking. Weekend. Â You ask if heâs willing to stay over so you can go unwind, and despite his better (or worse) judgment, he accepts. The only solace he finds in these ventures is knowing you consistently come back home right after usual closing times, and youâre mostly sober. Sometimes a bit whiny that youâre not lucking out, worrying that maybe youâre too old now, or maybe youâre just not as desirable. There have even been a few times where youâve exposed your ex husband during your rants, giving Haechan little hints to follow as to why youâre single, and how he left you.Â
Still, he knows in your tipsy state that you usually wouldnât talk about these things with him, but heâs all too happy to get the details once you come home. Mostly because it calms his rising rage at how youâre doing this to not only him, but yourself. Itâs mostly because youâre technically coming home to him though.Â
And every single time, you go back to your bedroom to grab his payment even though it could wait until morning, considering heâs been sleeping in the guest roomâ all he can think about is how heâs been in your room. Heâs gotten off countless times by now by the smell of your room alone, still barely able to even reach your bed to lay in it himself for a better experience. God, heâs probably memorized each little fray in your carpeted bedroom floor by now with how much heâs zoned out on it mid-jerk off session right there on his knees at your door.Â
Heâs truly pathetic for you.Â
This time thoughâŠthree in the morning has passed and normally youâd have been stumbling through the door an hour ago. Normally, heâd be fighting back the need to tell you that youâre beautiful, not too old, and entirely desirable. Normally, he would be fisting his cock again in your guest room before sleep, getting off on the idea that he can cum in a house that you live in, smothered by the sheets you meticulously picked out to match the walls of the room. Moaning for you, practically crying for you to let him do it all.Â
Have you really done it this time? Gone off with some man? Are you getting railed right now in some hotel, or car, or someoneâs shitty man-cave? God, his mind is racing, both aroused at the fact that you must be horny to be constantly wanting to go out like this, but equally as devastated because likeâŠheâs right here.
Who the fuck cares if you babysat him? Heâs a man. No longer that child who sprayed cheese in your hair or dumped salt into the bag of sugar. Heâs a fucking man, cooking you dinner when you work, parenting your child, cleaning your house, maintaining your pool and fenceâŠ.He does everything for you, why the fuck donât you see it?!
Click.
Haechanâs ears perk up instantly at the sound. He sits up on the couch from his depressed slump of scrolling through his phone, quickly fixing his hair and clearing his throat.Â
In you stumble, right into the little entryway table with a whisper-scream of âShit, fuckââ
Haechan looks at your state before standing to his feet and rushing to you, helping you balance on your feet despite your footing not quite being grounded even with his help. You lean on him closely, letting out an alcohol scented sigh.Â
His nostrils flare as he holds his breath, feeling your tit press against his arm, smelling the drinks, the sweat, and the dulled perfume on you. Then, a hint of something else. Musk.Â
Youâve been with a man.Â
He holds back a gesture at the way you lean on him. Nothing more he could want at this moment but to hold you tightly and tell you that heâs got you, despite the panic in his stomach at the way he sniffs out another man. Out of lust, love, desperation, frustration. This is the closest youâve been to him for this long. You feel clammy and cold, a clear indication that you drank far, far too much. Your tank top is sticking to you, your eyes are a bit glassyâ
âYouâre late.â He says shortly.
âLate?!â You raise your voice before looking at him with drowsy eyes, furrowing your brow. âI donât have a curfe-â
âShhââ He shushes you, helping you get to the living room. âSheâs sleeping and youâre going to have her make a fuss about waking up.â
You giggle to yourself as he drops you onto the couch, now aware that yes, you are not a single college student anymore. Youâre a single woman. A fucking mother.Â
You shouldâve just gotten a hotel for the night and slept there to dream a little longer.Â
âRight.â You laugh, slouching, spreading out wide against the couch and trying to fix your gaze on him. âWhyâre you still awake?âÂ
Haechan fixes his eyes on you, swallowing around a lump in his throat. The way youâre slouchingâŠseemingly forgetting that youâre wearing a skirt and basically flashing your panties at him. God, the things could do to you right now. The things he could get away with if he wanted to. He tries to shake those thoughts for now, and instead, inspects you from head to toe.
Heâs never seen you look so relaxed. Chest raising and falling with each breath, hair a little messy, lipstick stains smeared on the outsides of your lip line. He chooses to ignore the faint swell against your neck indicating someone has been sucking on you. But, well, he canât ignore it. Both his cock and heart aches at the very thought.
âYouâve been kissing?â Haechan tries to ask nonchalantly.Â
âA lot more than thatââ You smile, feeling a flush cross your cheeks before the disappointment hits you square in the gut.Â
Haechan watches your face fall, and he mimics it by falling onto the couch and sitting by your headâŠyou know, allowing you to lay your head on him if you want to. Youâd probably not notice his arousal anyway, given your state.Â
âOh?â He asks gently, the disappointment now showing plainly on not just your face, but his own.
âThought I was gonna go home with him, turns out he decided to be done after a blowjob in the parking lot.â
Oh, the way his blood boils. Not for the fact that you were used or rejected, but for the fact that you found someone that you were interested in and genuinely intended to leave your home life in his hands for however fucking long. Really? Just gonna leave him here all alone? Like he couldnât do better for you?
âItâs for the betterââ Haechan says as he shivers with irritation, struggling to keep his facade up. Itâs definitely not what you wanted to hear, and definitely not what youâd have expected to hear from a college guy at all either.
âThis happened last time too, except he didnât even get me to the parking lot.â You huff, unaware of how much youâre sharing right now.Â
He bites back the anger yet again, inhaling deeply before releasing a calming breath through his nose just to contain it. SoâŠit has happened more than once?Â
âWhy donât you let me take you out someday?â He says suddenly, well aware that youâll probably never remember he said it in the first place.Â
If anything, heâs testing the waters for his own sake. Heâd hate himself forever if he didnât at least take advantage of this moment a little bit.Â
âThen who will watch my daughter?â You respond in slurred speech, not even comprehending who it is thatâs asking you this question right now. Not even thinking about your history with him, or the family ties.Â
He, on the other hand, is quite entertained by the way you donât bring the history up like he expected. His cock twitches at it, bumping your head just a bit, not enough for you to notice apparently. Fuck, it would be so easy for him to pull it out right now, and justâŠtap your lips with it.Â
Maybe youâd even open your mouth for him.Â
âIâll skip class on a Wednesday, we can go while sheâs still in daycare.â He continues through an almost-moan, encouraging the conversation to stay positive.
âDonghyuckââ You slur before clearing your throat and sitting back up in a dizzy show of how drunk you are. âYou know I canât do that. Itâs too weird.âÂ
In all fairness, you know he has likeâŠa thing for you. After all, why else would a college dude be spending his weekends here babysitting your kid? Itâs not like you havenât noticed the way he checks you out before you go out for the night. Why would he do all of this if he didnât have some sort of attraction to you? Sure, youâre taking advantage of it as best as you can despite how you didnât recognize him at first.Â
Despite how deep down, you very well know how attracted to him you are too.Â
âOnly because you make it weird.â Haechan rolls his eyes as he looks at you, spreading his legs out to adjust his comfort, noting the way you glance down to his lap and see it. âIâm a grown manââ He starts, spreading his legs wider, pressing his cock against his pants to the point you can practically see the outline.âyou know this.â He continues, trying to be bold now by reaching forward and moving a strand of your hair from your cheek.Â
âYouâve seen it.â
You freeze, suddenly feeling entirely too sober to be talking about this kind of thing with him. With Donghyuck. God, his mother would fucking kill you if she found out heâs in your house while youâre out trying to get fucked by whoever is willing to love you temporarily.Â
Haechan sees you thinking though, and continues to take the advantage now that heâs feeling brave. Now that youâve seen the twitch in his pants and havenât moved off the couch, or told him to go home.Â
âI saw you watching me when I was cleaning your pool, multiple times.â He whispers snidely. âYou stopped when you realized who I am. Why?â
âDonghyuââŠâ You trail off. âYou know this isnât okay. What would people think of me? There are rules, and I will not go down this route with you.â
A rush of air hits your face and suddenly, warmth hits your cheek. You feel him so close, closer than ever before. Itâs dizzying. Haechan is over you, hovering with one hand ghosting over your hip.Â
âYou want to though, donât you?â He gets even closer now, darting his eyes down at your chest and unable to pull them away. âKnowing how good I am with your daughter? How well I clean up? How strong I can beââ
You swallow hard. For a moment, you almost lean into him. You almost melt right then and there, the need for intimacy so heavy inside of you after being left high and dry, knowing that youâd accept it from just about anyone at this point. Butâ this is Donghyuck. You canât.Â
You really, really, canât.Â
The look of disappointment in his eyes kind of hurts when youâre pushing him away. That playful smirk falling faster than you think your sanity did the day your ex husband left you.Â
âThisââ You pause, realizing all too well how heâs used your drunken state against you for this conversation. âThis is your last paycheck.â
âI donât think so.â The smirk is back now, exceptâŠitâs different. âYou know I promised her a Barbie dream house next weekend.â He smiles fully now. âSheâs a bit attached, you know, even called me dad by accident the other day.âÂ
Youâre shocked.Â
âSheâŠwhat?â
âYou know sheâs attached to me already, donât be selfish.â Haechan shrugs at you while rolling his eyes, leaning against the couch again and turning his head to look at you. You try to pretend that you donât see his hand slightly groping himself. âGuess she misses having a father around. Canât be too easy for her, especially with her mom going out every weekend trying to fuck guys who would run the second they learn about her.â He ticks his tongue now, as if heâs pitying you more than your daughter.Â
âDonghyuck, thatâs notââ
âThatâs not, what?â
âThatâs not what Iâm doingâŠâ You lower your voice to a near whisper, upset that you couldnât even enjoy the drunken state you came home in, now feeling entirely too sober, and a little sick in the stomach.Â
âOh, so you havenât gotten laid since Iâve been hereââ He leans closer again now, trying to resume what he was going to do just moments ago. âThey havenât even touched you, have they?â His hands move to your thigh and presses down as if to hold you in place. âWhy?â
âI try not to just sleep with anyone.â You lie, knowing youâd sleep with anyone just to feel wanted for once. And youâre trying to ignore his hands on you right now, trying desperately not to like it. Itâs the first time a man has touched you in this house since your husband left you. As expected, you almost feel your knees buckle despite sitting comfortably. âI have to be careful, you know?â
âMm, I know more than you think.â He leans into you, hovering yet again with his upper half over you as he whispers it. âDonât need to be careful around me though.â He adds, this time trailing his voice right against your jaw, up to your ear. âYou must be so frustrated.â He ghosts his lips there for a moment, waiting for you to push him away, or say something, anything, really.Â
âWhy would I be frustrated?â You lend the smallest of whispers, feeling the goosebumps against your skin rising at the mere thought of giving in just this once.
âNot having anyone to please you.â He adds now, landing a very slight kiss right under your lobe. âAlways being used for someone elseâs pleasure, maybe?â
You almost nod, feeling weak in your state and thoughts swimming with what ifâs, morals, and anxieties. Youâre frozen in place despite knowing a simple push would create the distance you need to breathe.Â
âYour fingers will never be enough, will they?â He continues, essentially chaining you to this couch with his words alone. You canât help the fight in your head, you need to feel wanted, and you want so badly to feel needed. âI bet you wish someone would love you for all that you are, not all that you have.âÂ
Itâs silent as you feel his lips press down again, this time moving his body over you almost entirely. You can feel the couch dip a bit as he places all of his weight on a knee, moving his other leg to stand between yours.
âYou must need someone to fill that hole in you by now, right? That pussy of yours?â He continues, his tone a bit more snide now as you give in to his hold with shaky breaths.Â
And truthfully, Haechan has never let himself come on this strong towards someone before. Usually the wives are doing this to him. Theyâre trying to convince him, encourage him. Heâs so fucking horny right now though, with that daze in your eye, your legs spread around his knee, blinking up at him like a cheating wife. As if you want to apologize, as if you need him to forgive you. Need him to make everything better.
âI heard you the other day, you know, talking to your momââ He smiles, tilting his head to look into your eyes, seeing a small shine in them. âYou want another, donât you?â He continues, moving his lips now just over yours as he, now, presses you firmly against the couch. âYou must hate knowing that Iâm the only person who can do that for you.âÂ
âGod, Haechan.â You immediately buckle, not realizing how suddenly heâs not Donghyuck at this moment. Heâs someone else. Heâs Haechan.
âWhy donât you go for girls on campus?! Donât you have parties to be attending on the weekends instead of being here, trying to parent my chilââ
âLower that voice of yours,â He whispers, eyes now hooded as he looks at you. âYou know sheâs asleep.â
God, heâs right.Â
âBesides, why would I want them when I have you right here under meââ He tilts his head. âLooking so disappointed that you like it, too.âÂ
Right then, your moral code shines into the front of your mind at the consideration of giving in.
A weight on one shoulder chanting, âNo! What would people say?! What would people think?!â, and then little to no weight on the other shoulder, echoing in a sweet song of âFinally! Someone who will love you! Finally! Someone! Finally!!! Finally!âÂ
You pause, not knowing at all what to do. Your body wants to push him away, even your mind and soul wants you to push him away. But you know deep down, youâd only push him away to see if he will try again. No man has ever tried for you like this, and you need more of it.Â
To feel desired after so long of neglecting this side of yourself, itâs enough to make a person lose their footing in reality. To give in to just about anyone willing to look at you the way he is right now. Itâs the fact that you go out to try and find it, and even with this alone, Haechan has satisfied you more than any stranger promising to make you cum.
âIâŠdonât know what to sayââ You stutter. âI donât know what to do.â
âI do.â Haechan smiles, glancing at your lips before meeting your eye again. âWhy not hand over the reins and relax for aââ His hand dips under your skirt, cupping your sensitive cunt in one hand alone. âAh, I knew it.â Then, his other hand finds purchase on your chest, lifting your heavy breast in his hand with a blatant, hard squeeze.
After a sharp inhale you look away from him in shame, afraid to admit it despite the truth of it leaking through your panties and onto his palm.
âWet.â He smiles, no longer looking at you but flicking his eyes back and forth from between your legs, and to your chest. Still, he fumbles around the wet spot, wanting so badly to lift these fingers to his mouth and taste. Heâs fantasized about it, about how youâd taste, how warm it would be, what your pussy would feel like against his fingersâ
And just as heâs pushing your panties to the side, pads of his fingers touching right where you need them with his eyes hooded and watching you closely, something snaps.
You push his hand away, only to feel him push back, holding you down with more force, gripping your tit tighter, sliding his fingers in before massaging the slit with a blatant moan on his lips. Then, you try again, shoving him back only to hear him chuckle and continue his antics untilâ you jump to your feet. It felt too good, too grounding to have him touching you like this. You nearly stumble back over the coffee table, but you manage to stand tall and firm despite the fact that even though your mind feels sober, your body is fucking wasted.
âDonghyuck.â You argue immediately, using his name the same way you did when he was a child. âStop.âÂ
He throws his hands up in defense, raising his brows in surprise.Â
âIââ He pauses, staring at you. âI thought you were enjoying it, my mistake.âÂ
Itâs the fact that you were. You were enjoying it too much, and there would have been no defending your actions if you had given in to the feeling.Â
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Stupid. Stupid, stupid, fucking stupid. Thatâs what you are.Â
Your ex husband was right all along. Out of everything youâve accomplished since your heart was shattered, ripped to shreds, stomped on, youâd think it would take a lot more to break you.Â
âYou ask for too much.â Your ex husband had said once. âYou canât even stand to be alone for one day.â He had said a year or so later. Small digs on who you are and what you need sprinkled into small arguments, only to come more and more from the lips that you kissed and promised to kiss until you die. Until all of his words were to make you feel inadequate. Until everything he said to you stuck with you, forcing your confidence to bury itself six feet under.Â
Are you to blame? As it stands, maybe. Why else would you be allowing yourself to consider it? Consider Donghyuck, you mean. Never in your life would you have considered him of all people to be the one that you need.Â
Never in your life would you have thought heâd be interested in a woman like you, in a situation like yours, with a child. Why did that night with him stick in your head more than every single mean thing your ex husband said to you? Why did his words seem more believable?Â
Because you were drunk at the time? Wet, neglected, and drunk?Â
Then why is it that youâre sitting here on your day off with your beautiful, bright-eyed daughter rummaging through your purse for whatever catches her eyeâŠ.and youâre thinking about him? About what he's doing right now, how heâs feeling, if heâs eaten.Â
Why is it that youâve gone the entire week ignoring his texts, asking if you need him to come resume his job as babysitter? Why the fuck do you want to accept after how he took advantage of your state of mind? After he came onto you and tried to manipulate you?Â
Despite all of his words ringing true in the back of your head. That was a dirty tactic he pulled on you. Yet, stillâŠyou want him back, and god fucking dammit you could cry knowing your daughter called him âdad.â You hadnât believed him at first, but after this week alone it slipped from her mouth several times.Â
âHeâs not your dad, baby, thatâs just Donghyuck.â You remember correcting her more than once, and all she responded to you with was a confused expression.Â
âWhy not?â Is what her little voice gave back to you after her child-like brain decided it was fed up with you correcting her very right assumption of the guy who promised her the Barbie Dream House.Â
Why not?
Why not?
Well, if you could have an adult conversation with a five year old it would be much easier to answer that. Because he sprayed cheese in your hair. Because you were seventeen and his babysitter when he was twelve years old. Because you ogled him without recognizing him as your pool boy. Because of a lot of things.
âUncle Donghyuck.â You finally corrected her again.Â
She shook her head, and continued doing and saying as her little mind pleased. It made you miss having a father around for her though. You think she needs it more than you do.Â
And that fucking Barbie Dream house is what brings Haechan back.Â
Right at your doorstep today, with a gentle knock to the door and a timid smile on his face. He doesnât even look at you when you open the door, instead he crouches down in front of you with the big, flashy box. He ignores you, tilting himself to look past you and straight at your daughter.Â
You hold your breath when she runs to Haechan, arms spread open and laughter shrieking in your ears. Your heart aches so much at this moment.Â
Given your work schedule, youâd never gotten to see them interact much. He always came over as she was eating her breakfast, and you always came home after she was put to bed. You guess itâs fair that they have a bond now. She doesnât even run at you like she does for Haechan. In fact, the only time she ever does is when she had a bad day at daycare or had a tummy ache.Â
She runs to you when she needs you, but she runs to Haechan like she wants to. Like she genuinely is attached to him, and his kind smile, and his eyes, and probably that warm embrace that youâve never let yourself experience.
You watch them, not allowing yourself to melt at the moment because you did not invite him over, nor did you give consent to bring that fucking doll house here. But you canât say no now, as she clings to his leg when he stands up and looks at you with an almost irritated glint in his eye.Â
His eyes trail all over you briefly too, as if checking for any new spots or marks that a man could have put on you. You feel seen, dipping your head to not meet his eye and scratching your neck as if to hide a spot there. There isnât a mark, itâs justâŠfear? nervousness? anxiety?Â
And then he hauls the box in for her without saying a word to you. You watch him hard now that his back is turned. His voice sounds so loving when he speaks to your child as if sheâs an equal. Plopping down on your living room floor with her and opening the large box.Â
He Oooâs and Aahhhâs with her as he pulls each piece out, connecting the walls, the doors, handing her little things to help him with. And both of them are so focused on the task at hand to create a safe space for all of her abused barbie dolls that⊠you feel invisible.
For the first time ever in front of them both, you feel like you are nothing but a ghost. That he is the single parent. As if youâre forgotten, less loved, not wanted, not even needed.Â
Thereâs a bubbling in your gut when you tear up, reminding yourself that what Haechan did that night was probably just, well, heâs a man. Men aim to fuck at all times usually, and you guess you should have expected it at one point from him because, again, youâre aware that heâs attracted to you. Even more aware now.Â
But the way you feel right now outshines that. Heâs ignoring you to keep your child happy. She is ignoring you because it seems Haechan does a better job at it than you do.Â
And, well, heâs not holding you down, whispering things in your ear, letting out frustrated little sighs at your drunken or drowsy words now. So, you say nothing. All you can do is go to the kitchen and prepare a snack, trying to force the tears to stay inside of you with quiet sniffles, hoping you can join their little picture perfect moment so that you can be helpful too.Â
Your heart swells when they both look at you as you present a plate of snacks. You have to hold back tears again at the way their eyes shine, thanking you for the snacks. Haechanâs eyes stay on you a bit longer though, as if saying âSee? See what youâre making her go without?âÂ
You do see it.Â
ButâŠit canât be him. As much as you wish it could be, you just canât. There has to be another man out there just like him, one that doesnât have a history with you that would cause whispers and questions. There has to be.Â
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That moment you witnessed seems to have solidified Haechanâs place in your home. Whether it be for babysitting or simply so your child can see him when sheâs asking for him (which is often.) Itâs kind of an issue, actually, because now the choice isnât yours anymore and it appears Haechan knows that.
You hate that youâre forced to see him for what he is now. How he proves himself over and over again to be the man you need. The issue is that you still donât want it to be him. The bigger issue is that heâs breaking down your walls, doing little things for you, looking at you with those dark eyesâ your resolve cracks and reminds you every time heâs here that maybe it could work. Maybe youâll give him a chance. Maybe you wonât have to go out anymore looking to fill a void that no one else fits into.Â
Itâs the way that now, you canât help but to compare him to your ex husband. The man who you loved for so long, who you genuinely thought youâd spend your life with happily and safely. Now, compared to Haechan, your ex seems likeâŠnothing. Like a little crack in your resolve. He was older than you by just two years, took care of you for so long, impregnated you, and slowly but surely throughout all that time grew to resent you too.
You still donât know why, but perhaps itâs just because you were growing into your own. You were becoming more independent, though he never had the capability to realize just how much you depended on him during the very time he left you.Â
âI just donât want to do this anymore.â Your ex had said to you on that fateful morning.Â
Your belly was big as you tried to waddle up to him when he said that. You canât help but think back now and wonder how pathetic you must have seemed when he yanked his arm from your grip, especially due to the difficulty of your pregnancy already. You were sick through most of it, only having a few good days here or there where that pregnancy glow would make your ex husband second-guess himself.Â
The slam of the door after that was more exhausting than the months of pregnancy youâd gone through. It felt loud, so loud you could hear it vibrate throughout your whole body. You recall falling to the floor and carefully holding your stomach. Itâs like all of the heartbreak pooled there. The loss of your husband three weeks before he got to meet the child he was supposed to love. Her little heart must have been breaking inside of you too.Â
Double the pain.
And then you were mending yourself on your own. Going into labor early from stress, your family helped take care of you more than her. You were needier. You were broken.Â
And never, fucking ever, did you think youâd find yourself sitting comfortable in your lavish home realizing that your ex-husband didnât deserve all of that pain from you. He left you for that girl, and not two months later did she leave him.Â
Never did you think youâd find yourself thinking about Haechan as a replacement either. Well, not a replacement, but like, maybe justâŠheâs the idea of a perfect dad if you pay attention to how your child talks about him. How they act together. How she cries for him before bed when heâs not there, asking you why you donât read to her the way Haechan does. Why don't you sing to her the way he does? Why don't you use the same voices for her dolls? Why you donât cut her food like he does, why you donât do this or that.
Thatâs what makes it click the most you think. The fact that Haechan has given her something you never can. The love of a father. It doesnât even feel like heâs babysitting at this point, heâs parenting, teaching her lessons, bandaging small boo-boos, fixing her hair,âŠcooking dinner, cleaningâŠexisting here like he belongs.
Haechan has done more for your daughter than your ex husband ever could have, more than you could have done for her too, you think.Â
Even now, as you come home night after night and see him, you struggle to see him as anyone that isnât who your daughter needs. Maybe who you need.Â
His summer semester is coming to an end too, and itâs hard to see him as a college student now. He really does coursework and everything that needs to be done at your home all within a single work day? With no complaints at all? Lately, youâve noticed that heâs been more focused on studying when he babysits too, but still your daughter listens to him better than she listens to you.Â
Yet, still, itâs like youâre avoiding each other as you go through the motions, but you notice him more. You feel more discomfort because of it, mostly because you know your resolve about this is breaking. Thereâs a fear inside of you that revolves around him.
What if you missed your chance?Â
What if it does end up being a mistake if he still wants you?
You donât know what to do, but you know you want him.Â
Some nights, Haechan does sleep over due to exhaustion and you donât even ask him to leave because you know heâs not doing it to try anything. The avoidance is loud. Lately, you come home from work and there he is, sitting up with his laptop on his lap but sound asleep, softly snoring. Each time, you remind yourself of how heâs sacrificing his study time to babysit. You know your child can be distracting and needy when she wants something too, but he doesnât complain even a little bit. The least you could have done was bring him a blanket, which you did. And you woke the next morning to find him curled up on the same couch, laptop toppled over onto the floor.
Small, gentle acts of kindness towards each other but never face to face. Youâve woken to fresh coffee countless times, made exactly the way you like it because you know heâs watched you make it yourself. Youâve come home to re-stocked items, like milk and eggs, laundry detergent, and even toothpaste. Itâs nice, and a small indication that he doesnât resent you. Even through face-to-face avoidance on your part.
Tonight seemed different though, compared to all of the other nights when you canât go out. You walked through the door to the smell of dinner and your child still awake, sing-songing at you the moment you walked in.Â
âDad said I can stay up late!âÂ
You quirk a brow, her calling him that now becoming a regular occurrence to the point it goes through one ear and out the other for you. You recall discussing her bed time though, with absolutely no exceptions.
âDid he now?â You hug her before taking off your cardigan, walking with her to the kitchen where you find Haechan, placing down a small plate on the table with cartoon characters on it, right in front of two bigger plates with bigger portions of delicious looking food placed neatly on it.
Your heart swells, but your anxiety grows twice as big alongside it. This.Â
This is what youâve wanted for so long. This is what you never thought you could find. So, why is it that you still have push-back in your mind? Despite knowing that Haechan has proven himself time and time again, you want to argue?!Â
Perhaps itâs because you like the way he tries. Maybe youâre not ready to lose that feeling of being chased in some way, of being begged to let him stay. Maybe itâs because you begged your husband, desperate for him to keep you, but he left anyway. It feels like Haechan gives you power over yourself, over your love-life, over everything, really.Â
And if you were to actually accept his advances, even just a dinner on your table, what if he stops? What if he gets bored once he gets what he wants? After all, heâs still young, you canât truly imagine he wants to do this forever.Â
Not with you, and not with your daughter either.Â
âWhatâs all this? Isnât it a bit late for her to have dinner?â You question him instantly, anxiety bubbling up out of assumption alone.Â
âWe had a small snack a few hours ago.â Haechan reassures you. âI finished my exams and had a burst of energy to celebrate, besides, itâs a Fridayââ He goes to pull out a chair for you. âYou donât need to be up early either. A late dinner every now and then never hurt anybody.â
The way this is the first time the two of you have had a face-to-face conversation sinceâŠthat night. His voice calms you, and thatâs scary.Â
You huff, happy because you could easily melt into this chair and pretend youâre having a family dinner, like you always wanted, like you never rejected a touch from him that you desperately wanted. You could just play along and pretend Haechan is everything you need. Except, it wouldnât even be pretending at this point. The whole idea of him has changed. But, again, that anxiety. You still have that little voice holding you back, no matter what you want, or what you need, you fear itâll be ripped from you again if you were to let yourself be weak for another person.
âIâm really tired, Donghyuck.â You explain, walking past the kitchen and towards your bedroom. âThanks for dinner but Iâm not too hungry and I just want to lay down.â
And with that, he watches you leave. No real appreciation, no congratulations on him finishing his exams, not even a kiss to your childâs forehead. Is he still expected to be the one to put her to sleep?Â
Why is he even here? Why did he do all of this?Â
His patience is running dry.
So, he eats with your child as your plate goes cold and he leaves it there. If you canât even handle a dinner at the table with the person who cooked it, you can deal with your own fucking plate. Throw away your own fucking food, wash your own fucking dish. And if you canât tuck your child into bed, heâll do it, but you can shove that fake ass exhaustion right up your ass for all he cares.Â
He knows youâre not exhausted. Heâs seen you when you are. Youâre just being an asshole to him at this point, trying to appear like youâre perfectly happy with the life you live when your drunken rants prove otherwise. You treat him like everything he does has an ulterior motive. Which, yeah, maybe it does, but he was genuinely excited to have someone celebrate the end of this semester with him. Maybe assuming youâd indulge him went too far. For the first time, he wasnât doing it to impress you.
By the time Haechan gets your daughter to bed, all tucked in with a little tune to fall asleep to, he closes her door and just stands there in the silence on the other side of it.Â
You must really enjoy being a single mother, huh? This is why too. He always questioned it. Youâre so attractive, so well-adjusted. You work hard, your daughter is a sunshine in this world, and youâve not managed to find anyone to love you yet? He thought he was lucky to be the one getting to spend time with you.Â
Turns out, you refuse to let anyone in despite Haechan knowing, fucking seeing straight through you. You want something from someone. You need it, yearn for it, even. But itâs almost laughable at the way you refuse it.Â
Excuses, excuses, excuses.Â
Itâs the fucking audacity you have taking advantage of him. Youâve practically led him on. You lend him everything he wants in life. Thatâs it. You lend it. From flaunting yourself before you go to bars, to exposing all the marks you allow other men to leave on you. Letting him stay in this house, father your child, cook, clean, mend, fix, heal.Â
From being a faux-father to being minimized to a college student that you used to babysit. Heâs offered you relief in so many ways including sexual, and all you fucking do is avoid, deny, fucking reject him. You still go out to bars, later and later youâll come home with new swells against your skin, but always looking so empty and disappointed. Sometimes he thinks you try to make him jealous. Sometimes, he thinks you want him to try again.Â
Sometimes, he thinks you get off on the fact that he keeps trying.
And he has tried. Albeit more gently lately, but he has. Small, lingering touches when he hands you your coat to help you get out the door and to work quicker. Starting your car for you before you leave. Fuck, he even opens the goddamn door for you. Anything to make you feel appreciated, respected, and fucking wanted.
The silence is loud in his ears due to the sheer irritation as he drops his head, staring at his feet and knowing itâll only take a few strides to reach your bedroom. A room he still craves to be in.
Heâs raided those drawers by now, because of course he has. Soiling your panties, your sheets, anything that still smells like you when youâre gone for the day, all so he can act normal upon seeing you when you come home. Heâs laid in your bed by now too, wondering what it would feel like to have your weight beside him. He fantasized about anything and everything he possibly could in there.
And heâs always warmer. Always cums the hardest with weak, muffled moans as he stuffs your pillows into his mouth to keep quiet. All before cleaning every trace of himself there, closing the door, and wishing he was allowed to exist in there with you.Â
Right now will be the first time Haechan enters your room to your knowledge, and it sucks for him because he has essentially trained himself to get hard every time he opens this fucking door. Still, he composes himself, and itâs a bit of a shock if youâre being honest. You thought heâd go home after this, you were kind of hoping he would after you made it so awkward.Â
You felt guilty the second you saw his expression fall to your rejection of eating dinner like a big fucking happy family. You want it so bad, you want him so bad.
When you left the kitchen, you immediately went to your room and hopped in the shower, well aware that he wouldnât follow you. You thought hard while the hot water made attempts to wash away your feelings. Would it have been so bad to just eat with him? With your daughter? With both of them? The way his eyes fell, it burned your heart a little bit.
Still, no answers came to you because you know part of you just wants to see what else he will do for you. Despite the history with him, and despite knowing his entire family would question and scoff at you for itâŠIs it really so wrong? To want to give him a chance just to see if heâll leave you too?Â
Just to see if itâll hurt when he does it too?
Inviting him to your home almost every day of the week isnât wrong, right? Forgetting to pay him all those times before, hoping to see him again and get that confidence boost, that wasnât wrong. Letting your daughter attach herself to him when you swore he wasnât permanent, no longer having the energy to correct her use of âdadâ towards him⊠none of that is wrong.
 Itâs all Haechan. Heâs the one in the wrong for willingly following along, not you. Right?Â
And as youâre sitting on your bed in your towel, zoning out and staring at your floor, Haechan swings your bedroom door open without a single knock, mindfully closes it, and immediately goes off on you.
Somehow, you really expected him to accept your rejection but your heart swells that he didnât. You donât think he ever will, and youâre exhausting yourself hoping heâll prove you wrong.
Heâs shown you enough by now. This is what breaks down that wall inside of you, isnât it?
âWhat am I doing wrong?â He shoots his first question out in a desperate whisper shout, eyes searing into you before continuing without a single breath. âBecause I do everything for her, and i do everything for you, does that really make you so fucking uncomfortable?â
âDââ You try to respond, feeling your skin prickle at the sheer irritation in his expression.
Heâs fighting for you.
âIsnât that what you want?!â
âAfter everything I doââ He throws his hands up now, running his fingers through his hair as if you make him feel like he wants to rip it out. âAfter trying to make your life easy while making mine harder, for what? You to not eat the fucking food I made? For you to go to the bar all the time just to come back disappointed like Iâm not right here waiting for you to come back?âÂ
âWhat ar-â
âDonât ask me any stupid fucking questions, Just answer me.â He drops his hands, stepping up to you, placing both hands on either side of your hips, doing his best not to react to your near-naked body. âWhy?â
You lean back, trying to create more distance to try and give him an answer that you donât even know yourself, but he just keeps closing in. Not letting you escape this time. Youâve never seen him so riled up before, itâsâŠ
WellâŠ
âBecause I came onto you? Because I tried to do what no one else will do for you?â His voice shakes when he says it, and you can feel the heat radiating from him. Is heâŠabout to cry?
Only now, seeing him so close with an entirely sober brain do you realize an answer. Maybe not to his question of why, but to the same question youâve been asking yourself. Itâs because of that look in his eye. Youâve never been able to put a word to it, but now with him demanding you explain yourself so closely, you see it.
Heâs desperate.Â
Arguably as desperate as youâve felt to fill the void. Except, heâs trying to do that for you and you wonât let him out of what? Fucking fear? Hell, at this point the history means close to nothing when it comes to all the new memories heâs made in this home, even without you. The history of babysitting him, the history of your ex husband leaving you. It doesnât matter.
You think hard, so hard that you feel your eyes burn as you stare up at him. Glancing without intention to his jaw when he clenches it, to his neck when he swallows his words, to his lips, his eyes, the hair falling in his faceâŠand you justâ
You reach up, running a soothing hand through his hair to get it out of his face. Then you see those same desperate eyes somehow grow more desperate as he lowers them, leaning into the touch, as if youâve been starving him the same way youâve been starved for years. He falls silent too, cutting himself off mid-question just to feel you touch him for the first time.
âI donât know.â You say, which seems like a better answer than having an excuse. What can you say otherwise? That itâs because it shouldnât  be him? That youâre afraid heâll realize heâs not ready to settle? To be a dad? Heâll ask why, and itâll be the same answer you gave on that drunken night. An answer that you no longer care about.Â
You babysat him when he was a child, but you were still a child too.Â
You were still a child, and time changes things.
Your ex husband left you, and youâre afraid he will too, especially because heâs so much younger? Who cares?
Your answer seems to fly right past his head though, because heâs still leaning to feel your fingers in his hair, and heâs looking at you as if nothing you say will matter unless you make it hold some weight to him.Â
âDonghyuckââ You pause, scratching right at his nape, uncaring of how you can feel your towel loosening on your body. âYou havenât done anything wrong.â
Somehow, his name on your lips is what he needed to hear. The tone of it, the rasp in your voice, your fingers in his hair. Actions speak louder than anything the two of you could say right now, and he canât help it. Nothing can stop him, not even you at this point.Â
He hasnât done anything wrong you say? Itâs because he fucking knows what you need.
You inhale deeply, holding your breath when you feel your back hit your mattress, his warm hands instantly taking advantage of your freshly-showered state and tugging at the towel just slightly to let it fall open. You hear a slight breath from him at that moment, an inhale. There, he climbs onto the bed, nudging himself between your legs and trapping you there under him, both hands holding your arms down.
Like heâs afraid youâll reject him again.
âYouâre going to let me take care of you now.â He demands, though to him it sounds more like a plea solely due to the fact that heâs so fucking turned on itâs unreal. That feeling of when your fingers were in his hair? Seeing your naked body? Unshaved pussy? Being in this fucking room with you? It throws him into overdrive, especially with the way you just lay there blinking up at him in surprise. The anger melting away only amplifies it more.Â
How could you do this to him? Genuinely, how could you have let him fucking suffer for you like this?Â
Still, you blink up as if youâre a deer caught in headlights and it makes his heart thump against his ribcage. Your eyes are so bright, that glint of sadness he had seen so many times isnât there right now. And thereâs so much adrenaline inside of him, like he needs to move fast before you change your mind again. Youâve not let him do this for some fucking reason or another and now youâre just laying here for him.
 There, with your entire body on display, and you appear to be docile. Fucking obedient? Like he always knew you would be if youâd just drop the fucking act?! You were meant for him and him alone, and heâs going to show you why.
In all honesty, youâre tired of denying yourself by now. From the moment you saw him that day cleaning your pool for the first time, youâve wanted him on some level. It wasnât an emotional attachment, but a hope, a fantasy for you. And when you recognized him, you were more impressed with him than embarrassed. You tried not to let your eyes wander out of guilt, out of feeling like a pervert.Â
And then, that day when he came onto you, he was just a man to you. Your faux guilt kept you from letting him, and your hope to be chased kept you from it too. As if youâve never pleasured yourself to the thought of him, shamefully in this very bed. As if youâve never called out his name with a silent breath. If you keep going at this point, youâll lose him before ever knowing what he could really be for you.Â
This is his last ditch effort to beat you at your own game, and youâre ready to lose.
 So, now, you let yourself get lost in him. In his eyes and the way he pleads and makes his demands. He probably doesnât recognize his strength against you right now, or how much itâs turning you on. With the way he has both hands on your wrists, probably bruising them, and thereâs nothing you could do even if you wanted to. His weight holding you down feels better than you imagined.Â
After so long, with so many failed hookups where youâve told them of your daughter and all theyâve done in return is get their orgasm then leaveâŠHaechan. He wants to take care of you?Â
He wants toâŠgive you what you need?
Fuck, you know he can. Thatâs the fucked up part. Heâs proved it so many times to you in so many ways. Youâve watched him, the way he moves and acts around you. Heâs exactly what you need.You pushed him to this point, where his sanity is on the brink of crashing. Taking it away from him again feels wrong, because itâs exactly what you want.
And when he presses his leg between yours, he knows.
âAgain?â He comments, now releasing your wrist from one hand and running it down, able to slip his fingers right into the slick of your bare pussy. âYouâre wet.âÂ
You still just blink up at him with an intake of breath at the pleasure, thoughts running left and right on what to do, finally realizing you donât want to do a damn thing. Heâd do it all if you let him. Clean your house, be a father, fix all of the breaks, make you wet.
And you just feel him, the way his fingers play around with what he does to you. You can practically feel his confidence rise at the way you spread your legs a bit more, as if to give him more access. When you look at him, his expression remains harsh, but slowly he moves himself down, lips brushing over one of your nipples while keeping eye contact.
Still that irritated look, like heâs mad you havenât let him do this before now.
âHow many times are you going to pretend like Iâm not the one who gets you wet?â He asks before rubbing circles around your clit, tongue flicking in the same way around your nipple. âLike I donât have a right to take care of you?â
Your breath is still caught in your throat, trying to be careful about what you say right now despite knowing you canât speak. You focus on what heâs doing instead, losing yourself to something youâve not felt in far, far too long.Â
Heâs right. Heâs gotten you wet more than once by now. More than he knows.Â
And goddamn, he knew your tits could bounce, but the way they move without the support of a bra, the plush, soft feeling of your nipple growing erect in his mouth, all for him to bite and pull at. He does it too, listening to the little seething sound of pain from you when he pulls all the way back with your nipple between his teeth. Only to let it fall from his mouth and break eye contact with you to see the jiggle as it falls.
His cock twitches, at everything that you are right now, feeling more pleasure through seeing you like this alone compared to fucking his own fist on your bedroom floor. He notes how your legs squeeze him more at the nipple stimulation than his fingers too, memorizing the way your labia falls open between them. He smirks, flicking his tongue more, quicker.Â
There. There it is.
A low rumble in your chest falls from your lips. Soft, a moan. A very small, delicate sound.
âYou like this?â Haechan asks, looking up at you, letting his tongue fall from his mouth again and flicking the erect nub. âWhen I play with your tits?â
You nod, throwing an arm over your face in embarrassment that this is actually happening. Youâre letting him. Already you feel yourself heat up more, even when he takes his fingers away from your clit and instead, uses them to flick your other nipple.Â
And he does this for a few minutes. Paying special attention to your tits, going back and forth with his fingers and tongue to each bud, trying so hard to not stop just to shove his cock between them and use them the way heâs always wanted. He focuses on drawing out more and more little sounds from you instead, slurping his own saliva from your painfully erect nipples, pulling back, blowing cold air, then warming it up again with his lips. All while simultaneously groping, flicking, and pinching with his other hand.Â
âJesus, Haechanââ You moan quietly, chest rising and falling as he squeezes and licks against you.Â
Thatâs right, say his name. Let him fucking know heâs doing what you like. Haechan thinks, feeling his cock weep in his pants as he does it. Wondering just how sensitive you are to be reacting like this to simple nipple stimulation. God, heâs wanted to suck on these for so long, and now youâre letting him. Theyâre so big, so plush. He wants to fucking cover them with his mouth, he wants to bury his face in them, kiss them all over them.Â
And if they were to get bigger? He moans at the thought, remembering that conversation you had with your mom. You want another. He bets theyâd swell upâOh, fuck yeah. Theyâd probably hurt to rub against your shirt. God, fuck, he canât control his thoughts right now.
 Finally.Â
Fucking finally, he has you and heâs not going to let you run away again.
He doesnât fucking care if itâs forward. He wants what he wants, you want what you want. That want just so happens to line up. Besides, heâs already proved himself to you, he knows it. If youâre letting him do this, maybe youâd let him stay like this.Â
âDid they get bigger?â He moans briefly as he swaps to your other nipple again. âSo full, so heavy, were they leaking all over you?â
You listen to him, trying not to feel the pit in your stomach bubble with even more arousal at his blatant and dirty words, feeling your clit throb at the stimulation your tits are getting right now.Â
âMakes my dick fucking throb just thinking about it. FuckââÂ
âLet me give you another,â He mumbles now, almost mindlessly before looking up at you with an intense gaze as he bites down, indicating that heâs not mindless about it at all.Â
âSwell you up, make you glowââ
Oh.Â
Why is thatâ why are you dripping?
He hears that moan you let out. Different from the others, almost desperate.
âMm, yeah.â He encourages it, now allowing his hand to travel back down to witness how much wetter youâve gotten at those words. So messy, so perfect. âKnew youâd want it raw.â
You canât help the nod, as it comes before you even process his words solely because you feel his fingers slip inside of you. You havenât been this wet in so, so long. You want to feel it. To be full again, of anything. Of him.
âYe-â You start, interrupting yourself with a bite of your lip and your eyes rolling back.Â
âThatâs right mama,â He coos, tilting his fingers up and amplifying the pressure inside of you. âGonna let me take good care of this pussy, yeah?â He adds, lifting from your tits and ghosting his lips over yours.Â
He watches you closely, that daze in your eye. God, you look so horny right now. Thereâs nothing more he wants than to see this time and time again. To let you wake up every morning with his warm cum inside of you, to see your belly swell with his child, to see your tits grow until they hurt.Â
Heâd take care of you. Heâd take good fucking care of you.Â
âSay something.â Haechan whispers against your lips, darting his tongue out against your lips, angling his fingers up and making you moan. âSay you want me to give it to you raw.â
You open your mouth, feeling his tongue lick and swallow up that moan you just gave him before you try to compose yourself. You canât help it, youïżœïżœïżœre so, so sensitive right now and you canât help but find it incredibly sexy to be here, laid bare, while heâs still fully clothed.
Like he really is doing this for you. Heâs not trying to get his own orgasm and leave. Youâre weak and those words of âlet me give you anotherâ shines in your head. Weak, youâre weak. You should be thinking about condoms, you should be thinking about the consequences of this.Â
But youâre not.Â
You do like it raw.
âHaechanââ You stutter as you try to grasp the reality of his words, feeling his fingers repeatedly hit right where you need it. âIâmâŠnot protected.â
He moans. Loudly, before huffing out an irritated groan.
âYou must really want it then.â He narrows his eyes at you. âGoing out all the time trying to get fuckedââÂ
He plunges his fingers in again, deep, and holds them there as he pulls back to look at you. To really look at you, then he glares.
âYouâd really let just some fucking dude give you a baby?âÂ
You repeatedly shake your head.Â
âNo!â You retort, thrusting your hips up. âI justââ
âMhm,â He pulls his fingers out now, sliding himself down so fast that you can barely comprehend him sucking your clit into his mouth before pulling back in a moan at the taste of you. âIf mama wants another, daddy will give her one.â He says now, as if to pacify you.
As if to give you everything.Â
And youâd argue, really, you would. You want another child so bad, but this isâ itâs too soon. You havenât even established a relationship with him yet. Boundaries havenât been discussed. His college planâ but fuck itâs not entirely your fault that youâre like, super turned on by the idea of it. To the thought of being so filled with cum that thereâs no possible way you couldnât end up pregnant. An indication that, no matter what, no man at a club could fulfill the arousal for you even if they cared to do it.Â
Youâd never have let them actually fuck you raw.Â
Haechan thoughâŠhow can you keep telling him no?
How could you reject him again when you want it so badly?Â
Fuck now, think later.
âYeahââ You say against your better judgement, hands reaching down to his hair so you can grind up against his mouth, lost to the arousal as you mimic what he referred to himself as. âDaddy?â
You feel his mouth fall slack at that, as if youâre accepting him in full now. You feel your clit hit nothing in his open mouth, but it throbs harder.Â
 He knew you were slightly into him for letting him do this at all, but now, youâre truly accepting it. Like you know heâll fucking do it, like you want him to fucking do it.
âThatâs right,â He moans against your clit as he licks at it, barely able to comprehend your voice calling him that but clinging to it all the same. âGonna let daddy do it all for you.â Â
Yeah. You are. Youâre gonna let him do it. All of it.Â
And then, the room is enveloped in quiet moans, more from Haechan than from you due to your breath being stuck in your throat. His tongue, licking every part of your sensitive cunt, his hands reaching back up to your tits, fondling, pinching, painfully tugging at them as he moans louder, louder, louder for you to want him.
He presses his hips up and against your mattress as he tastes you, so deeply it hurts his cock to neglect it like this. Each rub feels raw, twitching and pulsing to be let out, to be inside of you, on you, against you. Filling you up with his cum, plugging it in as a promise that you canât leave him even if you wanted to.Â
Heâs going to fucking do exactly what he said he would.Â
And only when you feel his tongue lap against your hole do you finally release your breath, âDaddyâ coming out in a choked back sob. It breaks him, his body going into overdrive as he pulls back and justâ stares at you with wild eyes.Â
You stare back up at him, knowing that calling him that means something more than a cringe little roleplay kink. It means something deeper to him. He wants to be a dad, a real one.
âOh yeah?â He finally says, hands going straight to his button and zipper.Â
You canât help it, biting your lower lip as you blink up, watching his shoulders move, the veins on his arms protruding as he rushes to pull it out andâ oh. You moan at it, the way his heavy, slicked up, cock falls out, dark, needy.Â
âDaddyââ You urge him on, knowing that itâs driving him absolutely insane.Â
âMhm?â He shuffles himself off the bed, letting his pants drop as he lifts his shirt off of him and fucking glares at your tits. âYou want daddyâs cock?â Â He adds now, shooting his eyes up to you as both of his hands land on your legs.
Your mind goes blank when you feel him slide his hands around to the back of your thighs, pushing your legs forward, curling you in on yourself, forcing your pussy to be out and on display for him.Â
And you watch him, the way he stares down at it. Itâs embarrassing to be so seen right now, not having expected to get fucked open by anyone tonight, let alone him. You probably should have shaved or something, or like, not gotten out of the habit in the first place. But he moans at it, mouth falling open at the fact that you are entirely a fucking woman.Â
A fucking mother.
The prettiest pussy heâs ever fucking seen let alone tasted.
And he moans, breaking the silence, forgetting only for a moment how long heâs been wanting this. It boosts your confidence more than youâve ever felt. His reaction to this is more than your ex husbandâs reaction to you when you were pristine and borderline pornstar quality.Â
Haechan doesnât see you as used and neglected, he just sees you. And this. This is the pussy he wants. This is what he wants to put his baby in.Â
When he flicks his eyes back to you, with that same open mouthed expression, it knocks the breath out of you. Thereâs so much love in his eyes, or maybe lust, you donât care. You think youâre matching that expression for him too, because itâs like he canât hold back anymore. He canât just sit and look at you anymore.Â
He just canât.
And you feel it, his thick head pushing past the tightened, pulsing hole and not stopping. He pushes in slowly, painfully slow, to the point youâre both looking at each other with a slack jaw. Finally. The pain of it, the pleasure, the fucking need youâve been trying to fulfill.Â
That look on your face drives him wild too, he knows he has you by now. You like it, you love the way he slides in and makes damn sure you feel it. Every second of the slide pries you open, and he wants to remember this moment forever. He wants you to fucking remember too.Â
Wants you to know that no one will ever fit inside of you so perfectly, so deeply.
When he finally bottoms out, he leans forward to keep himself buried deep as he ghosts his lips over yours. He feels the way you try to kiss him, but he pulls back with a confident smirk.Â
âWhen was the last time youâve felt a cock so deep in you?â He whispers hotly, knowing you need not answer. Knowing you wonât answer, not with the way youâre instantly lifting your head and kissing him.Â
Your pussy pulses around him when you lick into his mouth, the first real kiss sending his heart soaring. He twitches inside of you with each squeeze, and kisses you harder, deeper. And somehow, it brings tears to your eyes.Â
The way he kisses, the way he makes you feel him. Fuck, the way he makes you feel whole, so wanted, like youâre amazing to him. In more ways than just a body to fuck, but heâs stuck around despite all of your avoidance and rejections. You hope youâre making it worth it.Â
Fuck, you need to feel worth it to him.
âYouâd better not fucking pull out.â You groan through a breath, his lips still kissing you through your words as he finally pulls his hips back, fucking in once.Â
Hard.
Honestly, could you have said anything else at this moment? Heâs trying to make this last, he needs it to last. If you keep fucking talking, saying everything heâs ever wanted to hearâÂ
âFuck,â  He moans, his hands moving up to your cheeks as he licks into your mouth. âYou canâtââ He continues, fucking in again, moving your body up with each thrust do to the sheer force of him trying to plunge in as deep as he can. âYou canât fucking say that to me right now.â
Youâre seeing stars though, unable to say anything else as your eyes roll back at the way the head of his cock practically kisses your cervix with each push into you. Heâs so rough, so desperate for it.Â
You donât think he expected you to respond either, with the way he keeps his lips on yours, his body pressed so closely that having your legs to your chest means nothing to him now. Mating press be damned, heâs lost his mind to the feeling, not the aesthetic of being a fucking dad.Â
Your legs wrap around him instead, and heâs all too happy to feel it. Your legs hug him the same way your arms do, the same way your pussy does, and heâs fucking in love with you.Â
He braces one hand back against your leg, holding it against his hips as he continues to fuck forward, still at the same pace. Deep and with purpose. Every few seconds the bursts of pleasure run through him, making him shiver and moan into your mouth. Little grunts, near whimpers for you to let him give you the world.Â
More than this. More than fucking, more than taking care of you, more than anything he could ever possibly give you. Heâll find a way.Â
And then, youâre clenching hard, matching his near-whimpers except moaning in full pants, babbling and drooling cries against his mouth.Â
âMamaââ Haechan soothes, continuing his pace as he tilts his head back to get a good look at that lost gaze in your eyes. âYouâre crying?â
You nod with a laugh, tears rolling down the same way the wet of your cunt slips down your ass. Youâve never felt so good, so fucking full. And for some reason, that does him in. Making it last be damned, he genuinely thinks heâs won you over. He can make it last next time, he can do more next time, he canâ
He leans back all the way now, onto his knees as your legs try to hug him back to you, and his eyes go straight back to those tits. The way he made a promise. The way they bounce, slick with his sweat from pressing against you.Â
âFuck, youâre so pretty.â He grunts in a breath, now quickening his pace and snapping his hips. Pulling out all the way briefly to plunge into your again. âCanât get any deeperââ He continues, flicking his eyes from your face, to your tits, to that beautiful pussy of yours swallowing him up.Â
Now his eyes roll back, hands going back to your thighs to push you back into position. No way in hell can he last, not at a pace like this, inside of a woman like you.Â
âDonât pull out.â You repeat again in a breath, seeing his face and the way he focuses solely on you. You know heâs going to cum, and you want him to. You want to feel it, every single fucking drop of it.Â
âYeah?â He nods his head with laser-focus on your pussy now, staring down as he points tight, short thrusts inside of you. âMomma wants my cum? Hm?â
Oh, heâs fucking gone.
âShe likes it?â He continues to talk himself up. âLikes being so fucking full of it? Yeah?âÂ
Goddamn, fuck, heâs insane.Â
âYes, daddyââ You whisper-shout, fingers shooting to your clit, other hand raising to your mouth to silence the moans as to not be too loud.Â
âFuck, yeah you do.â He lets out a near growl, his voice low and rumbled as he slaps your hand away, pressing hard on your clit with his thumb as he buries himself in you once more and stiffening his abs. âThatâs right.â
And instantly upon feeling him pulse, that first spurt of cum painting your insides, you lose yourself with him. Your fingers drop from your mouth and you release a pornographic moan for him, rutting yourself against him, as if to fuck it deeper into you.Â
It only prolongs the orgasm though, for both of you.Â
Haechan is silent, trying to keep his eyes open through the pleasure as you pulse and squirt around him, his thumb pressing so hard into your clit, his cock cumming so deep, filling you up so wellâ He wants to see it. Wants to watch you fall apart for him. Wants to witness the way you let him do this.Â
And he holds himself there, so hard and so full of pleasure for you. Keeping himself practically impaled against your cervix until your body falls slack. Still, he fucks it into you, holding you in place with a softer moan now. No longer guttural or deep from his chest. His breathing is rough, a soft, near feminine moan leaves his lips as he falls forward onto you.Â
You wince along with him at the sensitivity, panting, a sweating tangle of a mess the two of you have become. And itâs the fact that itâs the first time youâve ever gotten off at the same time as someone else. You feelâŠsoft.Â
Your hands find their way to his hair as his face squished against your tits while he regains breath, not daring to move his hips because your pussy is too warm to leave right now. You brush the sweat-slicked hair out of his eyes, running your fingers all the way back to his nap, and then slowly down his back to rub and scratch.
He shivers at the feeling, humming the same feminine-tone he had released previously. And all he can do is hear your heart thumping against your chest, even through these soft tits of a pillow heâs lying against.
Haechan never wants to move again, not from this spot, ever.Â
ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»
âYou know Iâm in love with you, right?â Haechan mentions briefly after a long moment of silence, looking up at you with his wet hair.Â
Deep in the night, your food still cold and on the table, youâve found yourself freshly showered and on your living room couch with Haechanâs head on your lap. He made sure to have stayed long enough inside of you to implantâŠsomething if it was going to happen. So he didnât argue a shower, and you didnât argue letting him join you either.Â
He had washed you, gently running his hands between your legs with what you can only describe as the softest, most alluring face a man has ever given you. Like he won the lottery, or found the answer to eternal life or something. You repaid him by letting him admire your tits again while you jerked him off, but thatâs besides the point.Â
âLike, Iâm not going to leave. I hope you know that.â He adds with a soft groan to your hands still in his hair. His new favorite thing.Â
You look down at him, hand moving to his cheek as the words hit you in the chest.
Thereâs anxiety along with happiness, at all of the boundaries and serious conversations that will need to be had now, but still, you feel like youâre glowing when he looks at you.
He didnât even have to say it, and arguably you probably donât need to say it back either. You think he sees it in you. Even if he didnât, you think heâd take anything you give to him and cling to it. After all, it only took one time for you to break entirely for him.Â
âAre you now?â You smile with a chuckle, looking back to the tv and pretending to watch it. âWell, thatâs good. Otherwise Iâd be making you go get a plan B or something.âÂ
His eyes narrow at you.
âLike hell Iâd let you, even if I didnât love you.â He groans. âBut I do, so donât ever say that shit again.â
You chuckle, feeling the calm in your home that once felt so chaotic. Itâs quiet now, both inside and outside of your head.Â
âCongratulations, by the way.â
He looks at you with question, quirking a brow.
âFor finishing your finals, I mean.â You smile, going back to petting through his hair and feeling like youâre on top of the world, despite what you assume to become half of your world lying his head on top of you.Â
âOh, right.â He smiles, now turning his head to watch the tv. âI probably failed them.â
You donât believe that, but even if he did, you think you could be what he needs too. He wouldnât have to work if he didnât want to.
If heâs really in love with you, all heâd have to do isâŠnot leave.Â
âAre you sure you want to be having these conversations with me? You can just call it a hook-up.â You finally say, hoping he means it, knowing it breaks your heart a bit to give him an out. âI donât want you to feel like Iâm going to trap you here just because Iâm a little smitten too.âÂ
Haechan glares, blinking up at you.
âI literally just tried to put a baby in you.âÂ
Thatâs fair.Â
âAnd youâre not going to run off? Get cold feet?âÂ
âCan you stop doubting me and just let me do what I want for once?â He argues playfully. âDo you even know how much that barbie fucking dream house costed me? I couldnât run even if, for some stupid ass reason, wanted to. I love her too.â
Silence for a moment.
âMaybe even more than I love you.âÂ
You really, really, want to believe him.
So, you do.Â
#nct smut#nct dream smut#lee haechan smut#haechan smut#donghyuck smut#lee donghyuck smut#nct x reader
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clark kent x fem!reader cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, car sex, mating press a/n: ummm yeah i need him so bad it makes me ill <3
for as long as you'd known clark, you'd never known him to lose his temper. he was forever-patient, your boyfriend. understanding to almost a frustrating degree. especially with you, his little love.
he was already pretty easy to get along with, but on the rare occasion you did have issues, clark seemed to have a natural instinct for deescalating you. he never raised his voice, never spoke an unkind word about you, never gave you a look harsher than what could be described as stern.
all it took to calm you down was a glimpse of his natural puppy-dog eyes and pretty plush lips. his thick arms would circle around you and hold you to his chest. he'd sway back and forth with you a little, a small smile on his face as you melted into the embrace. whatever semblance of tension or irritation that had been bubbling up easily dissolved into a puddle between the two of your bodies.
so, all that to say, you didn't really believe clark possessed any kind of rough edge or combative instinct. despite his large stature, you couldn't really picture him ever being rough.
that was until tonight.
you and clark had planned to drop by some event at the talon, but your sweet boyfriend had warned you earlier that he found out there'd probably be some trouble there later. some potentially dangerous situation that he wanted you avoiding at all costs. it was for your safety. he just wanted you to stay home where he wouldn't be worried while him and chloe investigated.
but did you listen to him? of course not. you went anyways, not in the mood to listen to his vague explanations as to how he even discovered this information in the first place. you put on a cute little dress with some new shoes you bought specifically for the night and took off.
unfortunately for you, clark had turned out to be right. not even thirty minutes after you arrived, chaos broke out. people flew through walls and glass shattered everywhere, all because of some guy who looked like his body could stretch and bend like a rubberband. it totally sucked. but none of that was even the worst part. you survived the craziness of whatever that person's problem was. the real danger came when the dust settled and you saw clark across the room staring at you.
he looked pissed.
he was at your side in an instant, but closing the distance didn't soften him any. it kind of did the opposite since up close he could see a bloody scrape stretching across your cheekbone.
you could see he was worried first and foremost, but behind that concerned top coat a fire burned. as soon as your small wound had been tended to, his long fingers clasped around your bicep. he pulled you to your feet and all but dragged you out of the coffee shop.
"clark i-" you started in an attempt to explain yourself.
"save it," he said, voice as cold as you'd ever heard it, "i asked you for one thing. that's it. stay home for your own good. don't come out here and pointlessly risk your life."
"it wasn't that bad," you defend weakly.
"but why even take the chance?" he asked with true exasperation, "i shouldn't need to convince you that your safety is more important than whatever they had going on tonight."
he didn't continue the lecture beyond that. just walked with a clenched jaw and motivated stare in the direction of his truck. like always, he opened the door for you when you got there. though this time, he practically scooped you up and dumped you into the car.
he was silent as he drove, fingers tight around the steering wheel. you could practically feel the frustration rolling off of him. the urge to lash out for once was near spilling over. he pulled the car over, and you figured you were really in for it. in a way you were right, just not how you thought.
clark didn't bother yelling, didn't try to start a fight. he glared at you for a few silent seconds before leaning across the seats and crashing his lips against yours. he kissed you like he wanted to steal the breath from your lungs.
after a blur of clothing being shifted around and positioning body parts awkwardly in the confined space, you found yourself in the meanest mating press of your life.
you were folded in half beneath all of clark's weight. the points of your new heels scraped up the truck's ceiling while your knees squished against your chest. little squeaks and whines slipped their way out of you as his tip battered against your cervix. he was so deep you swore you could feel your insides rearranging to make room for him.
"clarkkkk," you mewled before biting your lip, desperately searching for some way to ground yourself. one set of your fingers gripped strands of his dark hair while the other held a fist of his flannel.
"what, baby?" he panted. for once, clark wasn't fawning over you between thrusts. he wasn't cooing or praising you for taking him so well. instead, he had his face against your neck and his hands wrapped around your waist, bucking into your dripping heat with enough force to rock the car.
you tried to force out words to convey what you were thinking. too big. too much. so deep. harder. faster. none of those made it though. only choked moans and then a sharp squeal when he rolled his hips and struck that extra-sensitive sweet spot inside you.
"someone's gonna see if they drive by," you whimpered, squirming underneath him.
"maybe you should hold still then and let me finish, huh?" he grunted, "no one's gonna see. everyone's in town dealing with the mess from tonight. the one i told you was gonna happen."
"i didn't think-"
"i know you didn't," he interrupted, "didn't use that pretty little head at all, did you?"
words of defense eluded you right now, his nonstop thrusts keeping your mind cloudy. instead you chose to whine, your lip quivering he rolled his hips deeper yet again.
"oh yeah?" he asked, as if you'd said something coherent.
you opened your mouth again to speak, to really argue back this time, but you were cut off by your own desperate cry when his hands tugged you closer and speared you even further on his cock. you could feel him grinning against your neck at the noise.
"i know, baby. i know you're sorry. you don't have to explain. thinking's too hard for you right now, yeah?" he cooed, his tone bordering on mocking.
your pout got more severe but so did the needy sounds escaping your mouth. you felt those long fangs of his scrape against your throat. his tongue then glided across the area, making you shudder.
"clark-" you tried to say something else, but he cut you off. he raised his head up and kissed you deep again, swallowing the words right from your mouth. when he pulled back for air, he rested his sweaty forehead against yours.
"you can be such a brat," he breathed, "so much whining even though i know you love this."
the truck creaked as his movements continued to jostle it. you felt his breath fanning across your face and watched as his eyes fluttered shut. you knew he was getting close, but so were you. your cunt squeezed around him rhythmically, coaxing him too the edge along with you.
"you gonna cum, baby?" he finally muttered against your lips.
you nodded eagerly, more than ready to release. it only took a few more hard thrusts to get you there, and clark followed along no problem. in the afterglow, he laid on top of you for a minute or so, trapping you in a cage of searing body heat.
when he finally did sit up, the two of you fixed your clothes and stretched your limbs. he looked over at you with more tenderness. your boyfriend's gentle temperament had seemingly returned with the relief his peak brought.
he cupped your jaw with his fingers, looking over that cut on your face. leaning in, he gave it a small kiss before starting up the car again.
"i'm just trying to look out for you, you know? just... please listen next time. i don't know what i'd do if you got hurt. you had me worried sick."
"i will. i'm sorry i scared you," you replied softly. your eyes studied the loving look in his eyes and the way his features seemed so at peace now that all his adrenaline was out of his system.
you grabbed his hand across the seats and traced little patterns on his knuckles for the drive home. he let you play with his fingers but shot you a glance.
"i'm serious. next time you get involved with something like that i won't let you off so easy," he teased.
you smiled and nodded, wanting to put his mind at ease. though in the back of your mind, a small part of you considered trying again some time, just to see what "not so easy" looked like to him.
#clark kent x reader#clark kent smut#clark kent x you#clark kent imagine#superman x reader#dc x reader#dc imagine#dc smut#smallville x reader
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*raises hand* if you want that you should check out anime it's specifically doing this! this is exactly why anime is so popular! if you *want* adult cartoons that are about meaningful stories, check out anime! It's not that no one makes cartoons that are actually meaningful and aimed at adults, you just have to look outside of america. hopefully with time we see more things like this crop up but until it does, it cant hurt to explore outside of western media if you want to escape it's normal trappings! Check out the classics of anime, check out new popular things, if you want an anime that will completely reshape how you view food? dungeon meshi, if you want to see a story about superheroes who are girls and don't have to be masculine to be impressive and important, Sailor moon! (plus its funny and cute too but also does get quite dark despite what you'd expect!) If you want to see a masterpiece, Watch spirited away or another studio Ghibli movie, if you want something artistic and fascinating and dark thats going to break your heart, MADOKA MAGICA! If you want slice of life comfort that still focuses on adult experiences, you might want to try the iyasheki genre, and specifically i'd suggest "my new boss is goofy" which is a deeply touching little anime about a man who just left from a deeply abusive job and his experiences healing thanks to having a very kind and sweet silly boss who actually cares about him and his interesting coworkers and yes its serious at times, yes its silly at times, but at its core it has a lovely heart that's very touching.
If you want romance? they've got it, fantasy, comedy, and even genres like iyasheki that don't exactly exist much in western media, cartoons CAN be fun and not childish! and childish isint wrong either, you can enjoy a lot of shows aimed at kids that are actually still really solid when you're an adult like my little pony, or bluey! They really are meaningful shows that can still connect with an adult in a way that's amazing. :) I really hope you'll give it a chance! (and if you still dont like that, you can also check out korean and chinese animation though i dont recall what those are called and i dont know as much about them, but they have a LOT of amazing shows too :) ) I hope maybe this helps some to anyone who's looking for cartoons for adults to enjoy! (also reminder: Anime and manga actually have specific genres aimed at adults as well as younger people, and you can look into those if you want something better aimed at those, also horror IS a thing in anime too, you can find some amazing horror anime! So, give it a try! theres no telling what cool stuff you'll find!)
hey quick question why are all adult cartoons like thatÂ
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âđđđ: đđđđČ, đđđđČ.. đđđđČ, đ„đđ đŠđ đŁđźđŹđ.. đđĄđ«đźđŹđ đąđ§đđš đČđšđźđ« đ©đ«đđđđČ đ©đźđŹđŹđČ đđ§đ đđđđ„ đČđšđź đŠđđ„đ đąđ§đđš đŠđ. đ đ°đđ§đ§đ đ°đšđ«đŹđĄđąđ© đČđšđź.â
Which sex position is your future loverâs favorite and why? (Detailed)
Masterlist
Author's note,
It's been a while since I last posted, hi everyone. I hope you enjoy your Christmas coming up!
Divider
Pile 01.
âI want to devour the sweet nectar of the sin that lies beneath me. To feel it dripping on the sin of my fingertips, the graze that will melt us into ecstasy burning in the brain of our subconscious, such a beauty that I only get to seeâfor how lucky I am.. a lucky bastard.. that I am.â
Your future loverâs energy puts me in a calm trance, the calmest one could be. I feel like I am sleeping or walking on a path of water that will lead me to paradise. They are so soft with you, their love, or shall I say devotion, to you is something they cherished tremendously, and they could not bear losing that with you. To lose you would simply be their death, and they cannot have that done, and that is why their favorite sex position is all over the place. They do not have one and could never dare; they want to feel you everywhere, in every position, and want to see your beautiful face move and show pure pleasure as they please you with the utmost respect. âThat is something you deserve, you deserve the utmost respect one could bear, and that is the one thing you never have to ask or prove with meâit will be with you the minute you are my lover, though I am sorry it was not done when we were fighting.â
Enemies to lovers, or rivals to lovers, is your trope with them. You honestly made them want to fall in love, and made them understand what it was to actually love. Their ex, (or multiple, energies are flying around like crazy), were nasty. Thatâs really it, so awful, but they used that to improve on what they wanted, which was building walls around until you had the audacity to break them and make them fall for you, âshame on you!ââ
(I can feel them next to me, they are so animated, so damn loving, itâs like they want to grab you right here and right now and pull you to their future).
Aside from your âaudacity,â they are very happy that you did because they were spiraling into something darker and started to use something dangerous, not illegal or self-harming (itâs not my place to tell you), as a coping mechanism, yet now.. you are their drug. Not literally, but you basically saved them from this impending doom of shame and guilt. I believe you should get ready to heal your inner child (even if you have) with them because they will be spoiling you .. like crazy, maybe a bit too much? I see a vision with an insane amount of gifts, teddy bears, jewelry, sports gear, food, or something to do with your religion. Also art supplies or crystals that are insanely expensive, but if it is for you, then âf*ck it, right?â That is how their attitude is with you.
Ten of wands.
I took a break because something was missing from them, and they could not tell me. Meaning they kept focusing on the positive aspects when it comes to your relationship and sex with you. However, with the ten of wands, they actually do not know how to have a favorite sexual position. In a way, they thought it was off-putting that others always picked a favorite; if you picked a favorite, then you lost the chance to explore around and make your lover feel sexual pleasure. So, intuition tells me they feel overburdened and overwhelmed picking a favorite, but at the same time, they feel pressured to pick one.
They know that you would not give a damn whether or not they had one, but their colleagues, co-workers, a boss, or some type of group pops up with how they think about sex, and it is affecting your future lover right now, and when you meet; they will feel insecure throughout your sexual journey with you thus why the relationship with them will be enemies or rivals to lovers. I believe it's peer pressure with them. My intuition tells me this is the reason why you saved them and why they would do anything for you.
I feel a lot of anxious energy with them, a part of me wants to hug them and tell them they are okay, okay to love and show their pleasure in their own way, but I already know this is how you feel with them and what you will tell them. And when you do, they will confess you saved them.
As I was editing, I had to give you a message and also saw 777. Listen here. You are absolutely allowed to love whoever you want, you are allowed to be spoiled and pampered, you are allowed to be kissed in the most romantic ways, and you are allowed to have someone help you take showers. No, this person will not treat you in a bad way because you struggle with mental health problems. And no, they will not let anyone laugh at you even when you guys are not together because you do not deserve that, and they also think someone who does that is a "f*cking asshole.'' You are so so so .. and many so worthy of love and I hope each day you tell yourself that, because it is true or else I would not have said it nor left this message, understood? Allow yourself to have the happiness you deserve and stop being your own blockage because, at the end of the day, it is not worth it, and seeing you struggle to have your happiness, do you think your kid self would like that? Would that be okay with them or is that okayâto have yourself struggling to make amends with your past, forcefully giving yourself guilt for something that should have been forgiven a long time ago? Let it go, it is seriously okay, let it go. Yes, what you did was awful, and should not have happened with them, but let it go and do and become better for the mistakes you caused and for yourself so it does not happen again. So as I said before, if I didn't mean it, I would not have mentioned it in your pile, so let it go.
Masterlist
Pile 02.
Your future lover's favorite sex position is face sitting. They love, and I mean this very heavily, love eating you out, giving you oral, sucking you off, whatever the case is, they are very addicted to your private parts. âAll you, all you, and .. all you, you are so fucking delicious baby, f*ckkkkk.â I see a scene where they are covered in your juices, your cum, everything about you, and they are still eating you out as you grab their arms, body parts, or hair. Gripping for dear life, begging for relief, but nothing happens other than using their tongue in or on you faster, swirling it until it hits that sensitive spot of yours and, as well, as they are filled to the brim with your essence. The whole idea of eating dessert does not appeal to them UNTIL it is yours.
I hope you are ready for a very smutty scene since I cannot channel anymore other than their fantasies.. for you. I will address you as Y/N (your name), and them as F/L (future lover).
Scene A)
Your F/L will grab your leg and flip you over as they crawl towards your body, grabbing your skin to feel your skin. To feel the heat of your body because of how aroused you are. They will crawl towards your lips and greedily suck your top lips, nibbling the bottom to feel the taste from the last meal you ate, and chew softly. Then they will roughly thrust their tongue into your lips, sucking and grazing their tongue on yours and your teeth; they want to feel everything about you. Then they will pull out, grope your jaw and spit into your mouth as they crawl down and then sensually drag their tongue down to your chest area, sucking on them, and then to your private part as they blow air on it, seeing you twitch, whimper, groan, moan, etc. They will lean down and then give you oral.
Scene B)
Y/N is focused on doing their work, finishing up a coming project, and their deadline is coming within a week or two. F/L comes waltzing in as if they own the place and gazes at Y/N, smirking at their inconvenience. Though it would have been better if they could have helped Y/N, but no, it did not fit their shenanigans or their agenda. They stride over to Y/N as they massaged Y/N's shoulder, building trust with them. Once gaining their trust, they forcefully kiss Y/N, tasting their sweet nectar and feeling their tension dropping down until they remember their work as they push away F/L. But no, you would assume F/L will hold back and respect that push, yet they will not (still consent here). F/L will pick Y/N over their shoulder despite the weight of Y/N, and walk towards a countertop or over a table and bend them over. F/L will look at Y/N, and undress them as they crouch down and tease Y/Nâs undergarment until they see a wet spot and then take it off only to tease Y/N with a toy, waiting for them to release but not cum since it is not allowed.
It will last for 2 hours straight, and once Y/N has had enough, they will face Y/N over their shoulders, similar to someone sitting on someoneâs shoulder, only in this case, Y/N is sitting in front of F/L. F/L will suck or eat out Y/N until they are cumming over.. and over again and sobbing for F/L to stop. But it will not happen until Y/N uses their safe word(s) and once that does happen, pampering aftercare will erupt and leave Y/N comforted to the highest degree possible. With an insane amount of kisses, "because you deserve that and you deserve me to eat you out more!''
Masterlist
#pick a card#love reading#pac reading#tarot witch#tarot reading#pac tarot#pick a picture#pick a photo#pick a pile#18+ tarot#free tarot readings#collective reading#tarot community#channeled message#pick a pile reading#tarotcommunity#pick an image#pick a number#channel messages#pick a card reading#pick a photo reading#pick a image reading#reading#tarot card#free tarot reading#free readings#free intuitive readings#future reading#intution#intutive
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No bon its fine, i do also see oscar as the sweetest thing, thats why i maybe thought he always forgives you for not paying him with sex, until one day, after like 6 months of not doing anything, snaps and just comes to you and gives yoh an ultimatum either you ride his cock or leave entirely
anon you absolute slut i love you for this, because for the longest time i couldn't even see oscar as a sugar daddy and now im seeing the vision, you genius i am going to pull you onto my lap and make out with you for this ;alsdkjfasldkfja;sldkfjasd;lf LMFAO bon's thoughts (18+)
sugar!daddy oscar piastri who really isn't that entirely older than you. he understand how university life is, and he helps you sometimes. he asks some of his buddies for opportunities for you, and he definitely sends you big checks to help you buy whatever you need, and whatever you want. but there are some days where he really really wants to touch you, just to know what it's like to be inside you. you're absolutely stunning, you're always smiling at him and so he feels awkward bringing this up into a conversation because you seem content, everything's working out fine and he feels a bit too selfish for wanting to ask this of you. so he lets it slide. he's not your boyfriend, necessarily, so he keeps his boundaries and nods his head whenever you talk about sex to him. it's a normal topic, you say, but you're unaware that he's biting his knuckles not because it's a habit of his, but because his cock cannot stop craving to be inside your sweet cunt.
and you can imagine months later when he overhears a phone call with your friends about how one of your classmates invited you to the library to study only to eat you out, oscar's standing there in shock because all this time he was waiting and waiting only to realize that you had just completely ignored him. if you wanted to have sex with someone, he was right there for you! you're in his bedroom, giggling with your friends about masturbating to some porn videos you found online and that's his final straw. when you come down to tell him that you were heading back to your dorm, you see him sitting there with crossed arms and a glare on his face.
"what's wrong?" you ask.
"i'll tell you what's wrong," oscar scoffs, "here's how this is going to work, because i've lost all my patience. either you come over here and ride my cock that's been aching for you for months, or you step out this door to get back to your dorm and you never come back. everything stops between us."
and you raise an eyebrow, a grin on your face when you realize your sugar daddy's feeling jealous that you weren't giving him the attention he deserves. so like the good girl that you are, you straddle him, taking off your clothes and sinking down onto his cock which causes the both of you to moan out loud. all restrain is out the window, the man has his arms wrapped around you just in case you try to leave him without having his cum inside you, and he's thrusting his hips upward to meet your bounces. he's having you cum again and cum, relishing in the feeling of your walls clenching around his cock that just keeps gifting you wave after wave.
"fuck, from now on, you wanna fuck someone you tell me," he groans, "and when i want to have my dick inside you, you better have your cunt spread wide for me. oh my," he throws his head back, slapping your ass as you continue to ride him. you nod your head, telling him that you'll never leave him unattended ever again. he's wrapped around your finger, permanently.
#bon's thoughts#bon's anons#bon's asks#oscar piastri smut#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x reader smut#oscar piastri one shots#oscar piastri headcanons#oscar piastri imagines#oscar piastri drabbles#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x you smut#f1 smut#f1 x reader#f1 x reader smut#f1 x you#f1 x you smut#formula one x reader#formula one x you#formula one x reader smut#formula one x you smut
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I recently learned that a particular sub of mine still had some conditioning from a while back that hadn't been used in quite a while, specifically that she had a bit of a tendency to become incredibly dazed and begin dropping into trance when presented with a cock (though, talking to her afterwards, she doesn't think that this conditioning would activate for most people). I learned this through a tiny bit of teasing on a call, when she saw my wonderful Bitchbreaker through the shorts I was wearing, her eyes rolled back and her tongue came out. Learning that on its own was very interesting. More interesting was just how effective this conditioning was, just how deeply she dropped from such a small tease, from only seeing it through my clothing. Naturally, seeing the effect that already existing conditioning had on her was quite a "blood in the water" moment for me, and, with her permission, I continued. After teasing her a bit more by showing off, it became incredibly clear that she was very, very suggestible in this state. I took my fingers, made a circle, and told her that however far down those fingers were on my girlcock, that's exactly how much she'd feel thrusting into her mouth. With her eyes rolling back and her tongue out, she took that cock like a wonderful, adorable little slut, so much passion and energy pouring into this imaginary girlcock fucking her face over and over and over. When it leaked and I told her to lap it up, she did, she was so empty, so mindless, so focused on serving this perfect Bitchbreaker, and I decided to have a bit of fun, to break my pathetic bitch a little more. I made her choke on it, put the whole thing down her throat as roughly as I could over and over, watched her drop even deeper with every single thrust, and reinforced this particular little piece of conditioning, just a bit, making it stronger, making it apply to my tits as well, making it easier to activate, even if she just saw me playing with either through my clothes she'd begin to feel the effects. Watching her empty little head take all of that new conditioning in with so little resistance as she kept mindlessly serving was absolutely wonderful. And of course, I couldn't just leave things there. I had her listen to me. I told her that, if she did a good job, if I finished in her mouth, she'd simply fall asleep. She'll get a nice little taste of Mistress, of her sweet, irresistible girlcum, and then she'll sleep for me. And she did such a good job, following along, listening, and when I finished, I simply told her to sleep for me. Her tongue twitched, lapping it up just as she had done earlier, and she collapsed onto her bed. I ended up staying in this call with her for a bit after that, just staying nearby, whispering little affirmations, until I was sure she was properly asleep rather than just in trance. Afterwards I left the call, left her a message telling her I hope she had enjoyed herself, and about an hour and a half later, I received a message from her saying that she had woken up covered in drool, and that her memory of what had happened was fuzzy at best, (which is rather interesting because I had never given her any commands related to memory during this, but regardless, it was incredibly cute). I'll admit I haven't done sessions that intense, that explicitly sexual (and especially focused on my own body) very often, but it was very, very fun. Seeing her eyes rolled back for that long, her drooling and sucking on a part that wasn't even really there with so much passion, it was wonderful, and I need to do something similar to her in the future, because the look that adorable, pathetic bitch had on her face made me want nothing other than to find ways to break her in even more.
#t4t nsft#hypnok1nk#hypnosis#hypnodomme#brainwashing#mind control#t4t ns/fw#trans nsft#t4t hypno#fem domme
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đđđđđđ (p.js)
PAIRING: hades!jay x persephone!reader
SUMMARY: labelled as unable of being loved, jay decides to steal a mortal to rule his realm with. what he hasnât expected, though, is that it wasnât you who he kidnapped, you had stolen his heart.
WARNINGS: kidnapping, enemies to lovers (but only reader hates jay), greek mythology, mentions of other idols as Gods, kisses. lmk if more. NOT PROOFREAD.
PUBLISHED: 22nd December 2024
WC: 3.5k
TAGLIST: (permanent) @stolasisyourparent @jaeyunsbimbo @jwnghyuns @bangtancultsposts @shawnyle @jooniesbears-blog @skzenhalove @ro-diaries @onlyhyunjin @xcosmi @strawberrhypen @heeheeswifey @jakeflvrz @astratlantis @tunafishyfishylike @branchrkive @insommni4 @kirinaa08 @leiclerc @nxzz-skz @laurradoesloveu @beomluvrr @heeshlove @17ericas @riribelle @cloud-lyy @who-tf-soddhi (oneshot) @monstaxdirtywonk @love4choso @heechwe
a/n: guess whoâs back, back again. lol, iâm so happy with how this turned out! and i sincerely hope yâall like it too đ©· have some nice holidays!
The gods of Olympus were never silent. Their laughter and taunts echoed across the heavens, filling their golden halls with noise and light.
Among them, Hades â so few knew him as Jay â was the quiet shadow in their midst.
Rarely did he grace their celebrations, his duties below pulling him away from the vanity of their world.
But he wasn't deaf to their jests.
âHe'll never know love," Hermes â whose former name was Jungwon â had said to one banquet, leaning onto his caduceus with a smirk.
"Who would want to walk in those dark halls with him?" Aphrodite chimed in, her melodic laughter cutting through the room.
Jay had sat silent, his face impassive, but their words lodged deep within him.
He had never been a creature of longingâ his domain demanded stern control, not vulnerability. And yet, as centuries passed, a hollow ache had begun to grow.
Perhaps the others were right. Perhaps he would remain alone. But then, there was the smallest flicker of rebellion within him.
âLet them doubt me," he whispered, his voice cold as the mist of the Styx. "I will find someone who can see me for what I really am."
âĄ.
Jay seldom visited the mortal world. It was too loud, too bright, too alive.
But something had pulled him there that day, a whisper in the back of his mind, a tenuous tug he could not ignore. And so, he walked among the mortals, his dark robes altered to blend in with their simple garb.
The sun beat above, merciless. Apollo â also known as Heeseung â really enjoyed making mundanes suffer. Mortals bustled around him, their voices a cacophony of trivial concerns.
He had nearly given up, retreating toward the shaded edge of a golden orchard, when his eyes fell on you.
You stood beneath an ancient apple tree, reaching up toward the highest branches.
Your hands grasped the fruit carefully, inspecting each apple before placing it in your basket.
The sun played in your hair, catching the edges of your figure like a halo. But it wasn't your beauty that arrested him; it was the way you movedâ with confidence, with purpose.
Suddenly, a strange thought assailed him: You belonged in no one's shadow. It seemed as if not even the appleâs shadow could make you lose your spark.
A step closer he came, and almost faltered. You laughed softly as you took a bite of the sweet fruit, a slice of sound that cut through the din around him. Something in his chest stirred. An unfamiliar pull, sharp and insistent.
Before he knew better, he acted.
The earth had shaken beneath your feet, and you had stood stock-still, startled.
A chill had saturated the air, unnatural and heavy. You turned, your gaze darting around for the source, but the orchard had fallen silent.
Then the earth rent asunder. Shadows poured from it, twisting and coiling like living things. Swimming around you like water would from a waterfall.
Up from the chasm rose a chariot of black iron, its wheels spinning silently above the broken earth. The horses were ghostly, their eyes glowing like dying embers.
Your breath caught in your throat as a figure stepped from the chariot, the bitten apple falling on the ground, rolling. He was cloaked in darkness, his hood obscuring his face, but his presence was overwhelming.
Power radiated from him, pressing down on your chest like a physical weight.
"Whoâ" Your voice broke, trembling with fear and defiance. "Who are you?"
He didn't answer, only lifted a hand. The shadows surged forward, binding your legs like chains. You cried out, struggling against them, but they held fast.
"Let me go!" you shouted, anger flashing through your terror.
Jay raised a brow; he moved closer, and for the first time, you caught a glimpse of his face beneath the hood.
His features were sharp, almost otherworldly, and his eyes were a cold, unyielding gray.
"I cannot," he whispered, and then before you could reply, he took you into his embrace.
You struggled against him, your fists pounding against his chest, but it was like hitting stone. He stepped back onto the chariot, holding you fast as the horses reared and plunged into the chasm.
The world above disappeared in a swirl of darkness as you lost your senses.
âĄ.
When you awoke, you were no longer in the orchard.
The air was cool and heavy, carrying a faint metallic tang that sent shivers down your spine.
You sat up slowly, your heart pounding as you took in your surroundings. The chamber was huge, its walls carved from gleaming black stone that seemed to drink in the dim red light emanating from the ceiling.
And there, sat on an obsidian throne on the other end of the room, was him.
He watched you intentlyâ his hood discarded, with pale skin and a face chiseled, striking yet severe. His dark eyes felt to see right through you, and you hated the way your breath caught under his gaze.
Hades. Ruler of the Underworld.
"Why?" you demanded, your voice hoarse. You stood shakily, glaring at him. "Why did you bring me here?"
"I needed a queen," he said simply, as if that explanation was enough.
You laughed bitterly, the sound echoing off the walls. "A queen? You think I'd ever agree to rule this⊠this pit with you?"
His expression didn't change, though you could have sworn you saw a flicker of something in his eyes-annoyance, perhaps, or amusement.
"You misunderstand," he said, his voice calm but firm. "You don't have a choice."
That struck a nerve. Your hands curled into fists, and despite the fear twisting in your gut, you stepped closer. "No one owns me," you hissed. "Not you, not anyone.â
For the first time, his calm cracked.
He rose with a slow, deliberate movement, and all the weight of his presence came down on you.
"I am Hades," he said, his voice thundering with power. "God of the Underworld, you are here because I chose you, and you will learn to accept that."
Your heart hammered in your chest, but you refused to back down. "And if I don't?"
The silence hung heavy between you for a moment. Then, to your surprise, he looked away. "Then you'll remain here as my prisoner. Either way, you belong to me now."
You swallowed hard, anger and fear warring within you. But one thought rose above the rest: You will not let him break you.
With the snap of his fingers, two servants in the form of a skeleton appeared in front of you. They looked at you with their void eyes and then turned around, walking.
You glanced up at Jay, who only beckoned you to follow them.
A scoff escaped your lips as you did just that, anything would be better than staying in the same room as him.
The skeleton's bones made a funny noise as they walked you down the neve -ending hallways. The castle was huge, crimson coated the walls as well as dark black.
âSo,â you cleared your throat âIs your boss always like that? Or does he change expressions sometimes?â you tried to joke, but the skeletons didnât reply.
Of course, they didnât even have lips, âYou canât tell me anything, uh? Not even where the exit is?â
They just stopped in front of a door, opening it for you. Taking the hint, you slowly stepped inside, cautious.
The chamber was so spacious for only one person, a bed stood in the middle of the room, its sheets a dark shade of red.
The walls were coated with drawings of black dahlias, the ceiling so high it made you think the room never actually ended.
The skeletons closed the door behind your back, leaving you there, alone.
You walked to the bed, sitting on its edge. At least, the mattress was soft, the sheets silk and warm.
You finally allowed a sob to escape your lips, another followed and then another again.
Gods always did what they wanted, never truly considering someoneâs feelings. You hated them, but more than anything, you hated Hades.
Your fingers gripped the sheets, if he wanted a wife, youâd show him just what you were made of.
âĄ.
The tension hung between you like a storm cloud.
Jay had come to visit you when you woke up, followed by a skeleton that placed a trail of pomegranate on your bed.
You didnât know how much you slept, neither of it was morning or night. The Underworld had no light.
âI hope the chamber is of your likings.â He spoke after an awkward silence. You dared glance at him, but darenât reply.
Jay let out a soft sigh, âIt is the only fruit that grows in my realm, if you want anything in particular, Iâll have one of my servants fetch you something from the orchard in the Olympus.â
Finally, you reached down, picking up the pomegranate. Its scent was sweet, and the faint shimmer of the seeds made them look like tiny jewels.
Usually, youâd go crazy for the bittersweet fruit, but the Underworld made even that look dead, poisonous.
You turned it in your hands as if inspecting it. "And what if I refuse to eat?" you asked, tone sharp.
Jay's lips quirked in what might have been amusement, though it was fleeting. "You won't," he said simply, his voice soft but sure.
Your glare deepened. "How do you know?"
"Because you don't hate life," he said. "Even here, in this place you claim to despise, you'll find a reason to keep going.â
The words struck deeper than you wanted to admit. You opened your mouth to fire back a retort, but no words came.
You picked up one of the seeds between your fingers, observing the way the surface shimmered before finally placing it into your mouth.
The flavor burst on your tongue, sweet and tart, and for a moment, you were reminded of the orchards aboveâ the sun on your skin, the breeze in your hair, the simple joy of being free.
Jay watched you in silence, his expression unreadable. When you finally set the pomegranate down, he inclined his head slightly. "I'll leave you to your evening," he said, turning to go.
So, it was evening.
But before he could go, your voice stopped him. "Wait."
He turned back; his eyes were steady but questioning.
"Why do you keep trying?" you asked, quieter now. "Why not just leave me to my misery? Use me just for your plans?â after all, it would be typical of the Gods.
For a moment, he said nothing. Then, stepping closer, he spoke in a voice so soft it barely carried across the room, âBecause I've spent eternity surrounded by shadows, and for the first time, there's a light here."
His words had left you speechless for a moment. He bowed his head slightly and then left the room, the door clicking softly behind him.
âĄ.
The Underworld had a strange beauty to it, though youâd fought to see it.
The palace gardens, in particular, drew your attention on restless nightsâ or days. They were like nothing youâd ever encountered in the mortal world.
The flowers glowed faintly, their petals a soft silver-blue, and streams of water that sparkled like liquid starlight wove between them.
It was here, one evening, that you sat on a stone bench, your eyes fixed on the ghostly blooms. You didn't hear Jay approach until he spoke.
"You come here often," he said, his voice quiet.
You startled slightly but didn't turn. "I don't have many options," you replied, your tone still edged with defiance.
You had tried to wander around the castle, and Jay let you, but whenever you came too close to the exit, a puddle of shadows rose from the ground and brought you back to your chamber.
Jay sat beside you, leaving enough space to show he wasn't trying to intrude. He looked out at the garden, his gray eyes contemplative. "These flowers," he said after a moment, "Only grow here, nowhere else in existence."
You glanced at him, surprised by the hint of pride in his voice. "You care about them?"
"They're life in a place where life shouldn't exist," he said simply.
The words hung in the air between you, and for the first time, you felt a flicker of understanding: the Underworld wasn't just a prison to himâ it was a responsibility, a realm he nurtured despite its darkness.
It was the realm given to him by his father, and it was his job to keep it going, no matter how much he despised it.
After a moment, you exhaled, leaning back slightly. "Why do you do that?"
He looked at you, brow furrowed. "Do what?
âSay things that make it hard to hate you,â you said, a faint, reluctant smile tugging at your lips.
You didnât know how much time had passed, perhaps weeks or months. Time seemed to flow slower there.
But you thought it would be easier to hate him, had he been scarier and less gentle. His sharp edges always seemed to soften whenever you walked into the room, and his clothes clung to his form, revealing a body any girl from your village would go crazy about.
Not that you stared at it too much, of course.
To your surprise, Jayâs lips curved into a faint smile of his own. âI thought youâd hate me forever.â
âIâm still considering it,â you shot back, though the teasing note in your voice was unmistakable.
Jay chuckled softly, the sound low and unfamiliar. For the first time, the weight between you seemed to lift, if only slightly.
âWill you ever let me see the light again? The orchard?â or your family. Would your parents be worried, or had Jay already cast a spell on them?
âDepends,â he spoke, âWill you run away if I do.â fair point. The moment the sun kissed your skin again, you were sure you wouldnât step inside this gloomy castle anymore.
Seeing your lack of reply, Jay just got up and turned around, murmuring âThatâs what I thought.â
And for a seconds, you thought you saw something like hurt flicker in his eyes.
âĄ.
More time passed, and though you had resisted at first, you found yourself softening toward Jay. He had a quiet strength about him, a steady patience that wore down your walls like water against stone.
You spent most of your days in the library. Though your eyes werenât used to the light anymore, your imagination worked just as fine.
You daydreamed of the life outside the suffocating walls of the Underworldâs castle, you dreamed of someone rescuing you.
And sometimes â but just sometimes â you fantasised about Jay, and his heart made of iron.
One night, as you sat by the fire in the great hall, he joined you, a small bundle wrapped in dark cloth clutched in his hand. "I have something for you," he said; his voice held a rare note of uncertainty. You lifted an eyebrow, curiosity pricked despite yourself. "Another 'gesture'?"
"Of a sort," he said. He unwrapped the bundle, revealing a delicate necklace of silver and black opals.
The stones shimmered like starlight, their glow faint but mesmerizing.
You stared at it, then at him. "Why?"
"It reminded me of you," he said simply. "Strong.. luminous, unyielding."
Your heart skipped a beat, though you fought to keep your expression neutral. "You think flattery will make me forgive you?"
"No," he said, holding the necklace out to you. "But it's the truth."
You hesitated, then reached out to take it. The metal was cool against your skin and for a moment, an odd sense of belonging overtook you, like this place, this moment wasn't entirely foreign.
"Thank you," you said softly and surprised yourself.
Jay's eyes relaxed, and for the first time, you saw not the god who had stolen you but the man beneathâ the one who had spent centuries in solitude, yearning for connection.
for someone understanding, someone to love. Perhaps, you could learn to be just that.
You handed the necklace back to him, he looked at it, hurt. He thought you had rejected his gift, but as you turned around and held your hair up, his breath hitched.
âWould you help me put it on?â you questioned, your voice soft, unlike the usual bite it held.
âOf course.â Jay murmured quietly, his touch gentle as he put the jewel around your neck.
It fit perfectly, the dark necklace adorning your once tanned skin.
You smiled. holding it between your fingers, âItâs beautiful.â
He smiled.
Your eyes widened when he took in the sight, he smiled so warmly, and for a moment he even looked human.
âYouâre beautiful.â Jay spoke, his voice so soft.
âHadesââ You said, but he shook his head âCall me Jay.â
You gulped, the room suddenly feeling too hot, âJay.â you repeated, the name rolling sweetly down your tone.
He let out a soft groan, like it both pained and healed him.
âI know you keep thinking âWhy me?ââ He murmured, caressing your cheek. The first time his skin met yours voluntarily âBut for me, it has always been youâ from the moment I saw you picking those apples, my heart belonged to you.â
You didnât even have time to think about it, but your feet went on their tip-toes as you pressed your soft lips on his.
To say he was taken aback was an understatement. His eyes wide as body rigid, and for a moment you thought if maybe, he didnât love you as much as he claimed.
But then, his hand held your face, the other tangled in your hair as his own lips moved on yours passionately.
Your fingers curled around his shirt, grounding you as uou got lost in the taste of him.
You took the hand that was on your cheek and guided it to rest on your racing heart, âMaybe you have the same effect on me.â You murmured on his lips.
His eyes darkened and he pulled away, âWill you marry me?â
You blinked faintly, your breath hitching at his straight-forwardness.
âDo I have a choice?â He stepped away, his breath still heavy from the kiss, âYesâ yes, Iâm giving it to you right now.â
Your brows furrowed, so he added âIf you think your future still belongs in the Olympus, then go. The door is actually just around the throne room.â
Jay gulped, hope flickering in his usually gloomy eyes âBut if you have some sense of future here, with me, then stay. Stay and let me be your husband.â
You clenched your jaw and looked at the door of the throne room. If you exited it and followed the long hallway, you would be out.
You would see the light, feel the sun tickle your skin, see your family, your friends.
But you werenât sure that was what you wanted anymore.
Your eyes set again on Jay. His expression had lost hope, like he had already lost.
But you smirked, crossing your arms over your chest âSo,â you cleared your throat âWhenâs the wedding?â
A smile, brother than Apolloâs sun lit up his face as he closed the distance he had put and claimed your lips once more.
âWhenever you want, Y/N.â
âĄ.
In time, the Underworld became your home. Though the darkness remained, it no longer felt oppressive. The palace, once cold and foreign, now echoed with your laughter. And Jay, once a figure of hate, had become something else entirely.
One day, as you stood by the garden's edge, watching the silver streams flow, he approached you. His steps were quiet, but you felt his presence before you turned.
"You've changed this place," he said, his voice filled with quiet reverence.
You looked at him, a faint smile playing on your lips. "And you've changed me.
He reached out and took your hand in his, holding it to his lips and pressing a soft kiss on the ring. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence between you heavy with meaning.
Then he bowed his head slightly, his voice a low murmur "Will you teach me how to love you right?â
You looked at him, at the man who had once been your captor but was now so much more.
Slowly, you nodded. "I will."
#enhypen#enhypen fics#enhypen x reader#enhypen au#jay#park jay#jay park#park jongseong#jongseong#enhypen jay#jay fics#jay oneshot#park jay fics#park jay oneshot#park jongseong fics#park jongseong oneshot#jongseong fics#jongseong oneshot#park jay au#park jay enhypen#park jay fluff#park jongseong enhypen#park jongseong fluff#park jongseong au#jay fluff#jay enhypen#jay au#jay fic#park jay scenarios#park jongseong scenarios
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Worth The Fight: Swoon Worthy
Masterlist: Here
CW: Language, pregnancy things, minor anxiety, jealousy and per usual a bit of arguing and angsty bits.
A/N: Iâm so glad yâall are enjoying this story! It makes me so happy, now donât be mad okay? Itâs gonna be fine just hold on a bit longer I swear Harry is getting it together. Also this chapter is a mix of texts and a one shot yall will have to tell me how you like it?
Tag List: @kookjipao @msolbesg @lomlolivia @namoreno @outofthisworl-d @mema10 @watarmelon212 @natykn @sassamanda77 @st-ev-ie @ghayda0 @hannah9921 @indierockgirrl @chaoticthoughts2022 @lizsogolden @gmikaelson @styleswithaseaview @sofaritsalrightt @babegoals @fangirl509east @one-sweet-gubler @stylesftcher @umadirectioner @last-saturday-night @montgomery-929496 @laughterismytherapy
Summary: You meet Anne and have a super tiny casual run in with someone else and Harry says some a lot of things that he shouldnâtâš
You smile at Nick when he opens the door for you and helps you out of the car, you adjust your purse strap on your shoulder as you look around and notice youâre outside the front gate of a house and not a restaurant. You feel your brows pinch together as you reach into your bag to grab your phone so you can call Harry to make sure youâre at the correct place because why would you be meeting his mom for lunch at some random house and not a restaurant? But before you can find your phone the sound of the gate opening up makes you lift your head just in time to see Harry making his way towards you.
âHarry this is someoneâs house.â He just laughs as he gives a nod and a wave to Nick who is still standing behind you.
âYouâre so observant. Canât get anything past you huh?â You roll your eyes as Harry runs a hand through his hair. âCome on youâre already late letâs not keep her waiting any longer.â He says with a smirk that you instantly want to smack off his face as he stands to the side allowing you to walk in front of him.
âIs this your-â
âNo itâs not my house itâs my momâs.â He informs you as the two of you walk up the driveway. âAs much as I adore my mother I am a bit too grown for her to be crashing in my guest room when she visits and she likes to spend a good amount of time here so this just made the most sense.â He adds as the two of you make it to the bottom step of her porch.
âItâs lovely.â You tell him with a smile as you look at the exterior of the house, Harry watches you look around for a moment before he walks up the three steps to the front door leaving you near the bottom step looking at a rose bush his motherâs has planted in her flower beds.
âOh I forgot to mention-â Just as you look up from the rose bush you see the front door open behind him and you feel as if everything after that happens in slow motion. You watch Harry turn and smile at the man who walks out of the door, he quickly gives him a hug and you think you hear something about seeing each other soon but youâre not really sure because right after that you find yourself staring into a very familiar pair of blue eyes as the man stands at the top of the steps and is looking down at you with a warm smile.
âHello.â His accent is thicker in person than it is when you hear it coming from the television in your living room when you, your neighbor and Paris watch The Voice. He gives you a wave as he makes his way down the steps. âYou alight love?â He asks with a hint of concern when he notices you havenât said anything or moved from your spot in front of the rose bush.
âUhm hi-youâre uh-uhm hi.â You donât know if what came out of your mouth were actual words or not but either way it earns you a small chuckle as he reaches a hand out and gently places it on your arm.
âHi. Lovely to meet you.â He says with a smile before he drops his hand from your arm and you find yourself reaching for the spot he just touched as he turns his head to look at Harry over his shoulder.
âSee ya H! Text me about a round next week.â And with that he gives you one more glance and a little nod before he makes his way down the driveway towards the gate. You find yourself turning around and watching him leave and itâs as if he can feel your eyes on him because right before he walks through the gate he looks back and gives you another wave and a smile causing a dreamy sounding sigh to escape you as you just stare in the direction that he walked off in.
Harry watches the whole interaction with a clenched jaw and a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, heâs not sure what it is because never in all the years heâs known his band mate has he ever felt this way while watching him simply meet someone for the first time. Heâs watched people practically throw themselves at the man and yet he finds himself more bothered by the way your eyes lit up at and how your cheeks got all pink with just a little greeting and a smile from his Irish friend and he doesnât like it one bit.
âDo you need a moment?â Harryâs voice snaps you back to reality as you turn and face the front of the house. He has his arms crossed over his chest as he stares down at you with a raised brow.
âThat-that was Niall Horan.â Your voice is still a little shaky from the shock of seeing him up close and personal as you point down the driveway towards the gate Niall left through. âHeâs so pretty.â You mumble as you look at the spot on your arm that he touched while Harry rolls his eyes and lets out a scoff.
âReally?â
âWhat? He is.â
âIâm not arguing with you about that Iâm just seeing if youâre done swooning over one of my best mates or do you need a few more minutes to wipe the drool off your chin?â You just send him a glare as you make your way up the steps. You know you couldâve handled meeting him a bit better but you werenât at all prepared and youâre extremely emotional so honestly Harry is lucky you didnât start crying the moment your eyes met with Niallâs piercing blue ones because they are truly just that pretty in person, the tv doesnât do them justice at all.
âI wasnât swooning you donât even know what that word means.â You state as you make it up the last step and adjust your purse strap making Harry want to let out a groan due to his personal hatred for the black hole you call a purse you lug around everywhere.
âYes I do it means to swoon.â
âAre you serious? Thatâs what you think swooning means? To swoon?â
âIt doesnât matter what it means I just know thatâs what you were doing with Niall when you got all heart eyes and just stood there with your mouth hung open.â
âMy mouth was not hung open donât be rude.â
âThen-then the sigh when he left? What the hell was that about?â
âIt wasnât a sigh I was just breathing.â
âOh please Iâve never heard you breathe like that before.â
âThatâs because Iâve never swooned over you.â Harry feels his eyes narrow as his hands clench into fits at his sides as you just cross your arms over your chest and stare at him. Itâs then that it hits you whatâs going on and you feel your brows pinch together as you give Harry a questioning look. âHarry Styles are you jealous of Niall right now?â You watch him shake his head as a deep and almost dark chuckle escapes him.
âWhy would I be jealous of Niall? I donât even really like you enough to be jealous of anyone you find swoon worthy.â Harry regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, he doesnât know why he said them because he knows they arenât true. He does like you, how much and to what extent heâs not quite sure but at least enough to feel a small bubbling of jealousy in the pit of his stomach when he saw you gawking at Niall right in front of him.
âRight. Can we go inside now?â You drop your arms from your chest so you can adjust your purse strap as you look away from Harry and towards the front door. Harry lets out a sigh as he runs a hand over his face, he mentally scolds himself for letting his emotions get the best of him and making him to say things that make you practically deflate right before his eyes.
âIâm so-â
âWhat exactly have you told her about us?â Harry rubs his lips together when you cut off his attempt at an apology and he knows heâs going to just have to add it to the list of things he has to eventually say sorry for whenever youâre finally ready and willing to hear them.
He opens the door and stands to the side allowing you to go in first and when you give him a small close lipped smile as you walk by he catches your eyes for a brief moment and he feels his chest tighten at how exhausted you look. Itâs not the kind of exhausted in the sense you could fall asleep at any moment but the kind that shows youâre just emotionally drained and he knows itâs his fault. His words have managed to take the sparkle and light he saw in your eyes earlier when you arrived and were looking at his motherâs rose bushes, leaving behind only a dull glimmer.
It doesnât help that he knows youâre putting on a brave face because youâre about to meet his mother, something you repeatedly told him you werenât ready for and instead of listening and trying to work out a better time he just ignored you because for him itâs almost easier to argue and bicker with you than it is to try to talk and come to reasonable conclusions about things. And the thing is Harry just doesnât know how to stop himself sometimes before heâs saying something stupid and leaving you to deal with the emotional aftermath. Much like heâs doing now as he watches you swallow down your emotions, readying yourself for the task at hand before you look at him over your shoulder with a quirked brow as you stare at him from his motherâs entryway.
âHarry?â You saying his name brings him back to the moment, heâs quick to walk into the house with a playful smile on his face acting like he didnât just say something extremely hurtful to you a few moments ago as he takes a few steps so heâs standing next to you.
âOh you know just that we are madly in love and Iâm planning on proposing on your birthday which-thatâs not today right? Because Iâm not prepared at all I donât have a ring or anything.â He can tell youâre not in the mood for his jokes by the way you just let out a sigh but before he can say anything you just stand up a bit straighter and turn your head so you can look him right in the eyes and thatâs how he knows youâre about to say something thatâs going to probably hurt his feelings.
âDonât bother with a ring. Iâd never marry someone I donât swoon over.â You say it so casually but Harry knows thereâs an undertone of seriousness to your words, you wouldnât marry someone like him is what youâre saying and he canât blame you because right now he doesnât even think he likes himself very much let alone thinks heâs anywhere close to being marriage material.
âYeah you deserve a swoon worthy husband.â
âI know I do.â
âI told her the truth.â Harry says finally really answering your original question as he leads you further into the house. âSo she knows everything.â He adds as he looks over his shoulder to make sure youâre following behind him, you pause and give him a wide eyed stare as your hand reaches out and grabs his elbow keeping him from taking another step.
âYou told her everything?â You ask in a whispered tone making Harry have to hold back a chuckle as he sees panic begin to set in as the thought of his mother knowing all the details of the two of youâs relationship hits you.
âI mean I might have spared her a few minor details about how we actually made the twins but other than that yeah she-she knows everything.â You let out a sigh as you release his elbow and Harry then does something that shocks the both of you, he places his hand on your lower back and in an almost comforting gesture you feel his thumb rub against the fabric of your shirt as he gently guides you into his motherâs living room. âJust relax. Sheâs going to love you.â Is the last thing you hear him say and before you can even fully react to it you hear the sound of a sliding door opening.
âOh my goodness.â Harry grins as his mom walks into the living room from her backyard, he takes a step to the side letting his hand fall from your back so he can give you and his mom some room to say hello. âYou are just lovely.â You feel your cheeks get warm as Harryâs mom walks over to you with her hands out. âIâm Anne.â You introduce yourself to her with a smile. âThank you so much for agreeing to this Iâm sorry if you ran into Niall on the way in. He just needed some-â
âOh yeah we ran into him alright.â You turn your head to send Harry a warning glare as Anne grabs your hands giving them a reassuring squeeze while Harry ignores your threatening looks and heads off towards the kitchen.
âHeâs always been a bit dramatic so youâll have to get used to that Iâm afraid.â Anne explains as she watches your eyes linger on the back of Harryâs worn out band t shirt before he disappears into the kitchen.
âSo itâs not just me that brings this out of him? Thatâs good to know because I was beginning to think I had something wrong with me that just made him act a little wacky.â You say with a sigh of relief making her laugh as she lets go of your hands and subtly eyes your outfit, you feel embarrassed for a moment wondering if maybe sheâll think you didnât find this to be an occasion worth dressing up for but then you see her eyes land on your small bump and a grin takes over her features and you instantly see where Harry gets his smile from.
âCome on love.â She reaches for one of your hands before turning around and heading towards the sliding glass door. âLet me show you what Iâve got for you and let me know if anything sets you off okay? I know how smells can be a bit rough during all this.â Harry stands in the kitchen and watches the two of you make your way outside, his mom places your bag down on a chair by the back door before she escorts you outside to the table he helped her set up before you arrived.
âHarry said youâve been craving jams on toast so I thought this would be a safe thing to start with and he also said you like carrots?â You can only nod as you stare at the table in front of you that has a few plates full of pieces of toast cut up into cute shapes all with different types of jams spread on top of them while one plate has a mixture of vegetables on it with a dip in the middle.
âI do yes-I like carrots and this is wonderful thank you.â Anne smiles as you take a seat at the table, she sits down in the chair next to you and hands you a plate full of the toast and jam so you can have an easier time reaching it. The two of you snack on some toast and vegetables and talk about your work and how long sheâs going to be visiting California before a comfortable silence overtakes the table for a few moments.
âI just want you to know that he told me what he did.â Her voice is gentle not wanting to ruin the mood surrounding the two of you as she looks at you with soft kind eyes, you swallow the lump you feel forming in your throat as your hands fall to your lap. âThereâs nothing I can say that will undo that kind of damage but I hope you know that Iâm so thankful youâre still letting him be apart of this even after-well after all that.â You look away from her and down at the plate in front of you as you feel your eyes start to get watery.
âIâll always let him to be apart of this for as long as he wants to be apart of this no matter how I may feel about him.â Anne reaches over and places a hand over yours that are resting on your lap and gives them a soft pat.
âI know he comes across as a bit of a uhm well-a bit of an ass but he does seem to care that he upsets you because heâs never called me quite as distraught as he was that night you didnât let him inside your apartment.â You simply shrug in response as you lift your head and look at the end of the table where you notice a tea pot and some cups.
âThat was a rough not for all of us it seems.â You inform her as you place a hand on your bump as you reach for the tea pot but before you can actually grab it you see a very familiar hand with a cross tattoo between the thumb and index finger grab the handle.
âI can do it.â Harryâs voice is softer than youâve ever heard it before making you blink up at him as he pours some tea into a cup. âYouâre not going to want to watch this next part mom. Itâs going to upset you.â He warns as he grabs a jar from next to the pot, Anne just playfully rolls her eyes as she watches her son open the jar and reach for a spoon.
âIs that-â
âPeppermint tea and honey? Yes. Is it killing me to make it for you? Yes but I know you like it and it helps with uh-â
âNausea.â You finish for him resulting in a small nod and what you think is a hint of a smile as he gently places the teacup in front of you.
âIs that enough honey? I donât know uhm how-how much you like in your uh tea.â Harry asks all of a sudden feeling very unsure of himself as if it just dawned on him that the amount of honey you take in your tea is just one of the many things he doesnât know about you. You pick up the teacup and bring it up to your nose and take a sniff and Anne covers her mouth to hide her giggle at the way your nose scrunches up and you very quickly place the cup back down on the table.
âStill smells minty.â You explain as Harry raises a brow at you when you donât answer his question right away.
âWell yeah itâs peppermint tea.â
âYeah but I donât like peppermint tea thatâs why I add honey.â
âYou-you donât like peppermint tea?â
âNot really.â
âYouâve been ruining a perfectly respectable tea with honey and you donât even like it?â
âPerfectly respectable? What kind of tea do you think isnât respectable?â
âI donât like lavender tea. Now really why do you drink something you donât even like? There are so many other nausea remedies you know that right?â
âIâm aware but this one is easy and it tastes fine when I add a lot of honey.â Harry just stares at you as you reach for the jar of honey with the spoon still in it, you hear him let out a huff as he grabs it for you and places another heaping spoonful into your teacup.
âHow does this even help with your tummy if itâs just basically honey and hot water?â He asks as he places the honey back near the teapot before he takes a seat in the empty chair next to you.
âDonât know and I really donât care because it works so I donât question it.â Anne sits back in her chair as she watches the two of you go back and forth over the way you prefer your tea and she has to fight back a smile as she notices the way the two of you stare at each other during the whole exchange. Neither of you break eye contact unless itâs when you reach for something but even then Harry is quick to grab it for you, probably not even aware of what heâs doing but subconsciously wanting to do things for you so he has to take advantage of the opportunities when he can, such as spooning extra honey into your teacup while in the middle of a silly argument.
âSo love youâre what? Eleven weeks now?â You turn your attention away from Harry to look at Anne who is looking at you with a warm smile. You nod and take a little sip of your tea and smile when it tastes just like it usually does when you make it or maybe a bit better if youâre being honest. âHave you told anyone yet?â She asks and you hear Harry shift in his seat next to you as he rests his hands in his lap and something tells you that if you were to look over your shoulder at him heâd be messing with his rings.
âUhm not yet I was waiting till I went a little over twelve weeks or so just to be safe.â You explain as you place your teacup back on the table, she just smiles and nods as you reach for a piece of toast with raspberry jam spread all over it. âI also didnât know how you uh would want to do that? Like announce it.â You look over at Harry as you speak and he lets out a sigh as he runs a hand through his hair while leaning back into the chair.
âI honestly donât know if Iâm going to.â Harry states just as you take a bite out of your toast, he watches your eyebrows furrow as you try to take in what he just told you.
âWhat do you mean?â You ask once you finish chewing the bite in your mouth.
âIâm going to go check on the cake.â Anne says excusing herself as she stands up from the table, she gives Harry a look that you miss before she walks inside and the moment the sliding door closes Harry lets out a groan and runs both hands over his face as his head rests on the back of his chair.
âWe donât have to talk about this right now.â You roll your eyes at his attempt to change the conversation, but this might as well be discussed now rather than later when youâre even more pregnant and hormonal which just means youâll be easier to set off on a crying fit.
âJust tell me what you mean by that Harry. You donât know if youâre going to announce the fact youâre going to be a dad? People will find out eventually you know that right?â
âI donât know if I want to announce the circumstances in which made me a dad. If I say Iâm about to be a dad then theyâll expect an engagement announcement or some photos of me and some hidden girlfriend or something and thatâs not the case with us is it?â You feel the lump return to your throat at his harsh tone making the tip of your nose turn pink as you look away from him and down at your lap while you sniffle.
âOnce I announce I have a set of twins on the way and they see us together theyâll know very quickly that we are just two people who hooked up one night and ended up here.â Harry adds as he stands up from his seat and gestures to the two of you with his arms, completely ignoring the way you arenât looking at him and the way your cheeks are now a bit blotchy and your breathing is shaky, all the clear signs that would tell him youâre crying if he would just stop talking and look at you.
âI always thought Iâd be having kids with someone that I loved not someone that I just shared a few too many tequila shots with.â His hands are in his hair tugging at his roots as he closes his eyes and tries to take a few deep breathes so he can calm down, not really sure if itâs the topic itself that has made him so upset or if itâs a lingering side effect from his small bout of jealousy earlier and itâs just now rearing its ugly head.
âHarry Edward Styles.â His momâs voice coming from behind him makes his eyes snap open as he turns around just in time to see you walk around her and through the back door and into the house. He raises a brow as he turns his head to your seat over his shoulder and sure enough itâs empty, he hadnât even noticed you left the table.
âI uh-Iâll be right back.â Anne just shakes her head as she crosses his arms over her chest and blocks the door from him when he takes a few quick steps towards it.
âNo youâll go sit down and wait for me to get back.â He just nods and lowers his head before he turns around and goes back to his seat at the table. Anne lets out a sad sigh as she turns around and heads inside to find you.
âItâs okay. We arenât doing this here. Wait till you get home. Itâll be fine.â Anne feels her heart shatter a little as she hears you mumbling to yourself in the entryway, where she finds you with your bag over your shoulder and your phone clutched in your hand while a steady stream of tears make their way down your cheeks.
âIâm so sorry love.â Her voice is like a warm hug engulfing you as she appears in the entryway, you look at her and before you can say anything she is wrapping her arms around your shoulders and pulling you in for a gentle hug. âDo whatever you need to do for yourself okay? I promise he will respect whatever boundaries you need to set.â She reassures you as she gives you a small squeeze while your arms wrap around her to return the hug.
âIâm sorry I didnât get to stay longer.â You mumble between sniffles as Anne pulls away and she just brushes it off as she places a hand on your shoulder.
âNext time itâll just be us.â She says with a smile as your phone goes off letting you know your ride is almost there. âLet me know if you need anything okay?â You just nod as she leans in for one more quick hug before she opens the front door for you, she stands there and watches you walk down the driveway and to the gate and she waves when you turn to and look at her before walking through the gate. Itâs not until she sees the car you get in the passenger seat of drive off that she turns around and goes back inside.
Harry is chewing on his bottom lip while he waits for his mom to return to the backyard, he keeps replaying the last five minutes over and over in his head and he canât believe he let himself get so caught up in his little tangent that he didnât even notice you got up and left the table. He feels horrible because he doesnât even know why he got so worked up over something so stupid. Because Harry knows he is going to have to tell the world heâs going to be a dad eventually, and he would much rather be the one to do it than to have a photo leaked of him with you leaving Dr. Andrewsâs office or out shopping for baby things once the time comes for that. He wants it be something well thought out and personal not some rushed, shot from across the street, horrible angled pap photo that the both of you hate that ends up being how the world finds out about the Styles twins in the making.
His main thing is he just doesnât want to deal with the questions of who you are because he doesnât know how to answer them, because who even are you to him right now? Besides the obvious answer being the one doing all the hard work and carrying his children, the one he canât seem to just have a normal conversation with, but also someone he clearly liked enough to give his actual personal number to and thought was cute enough to ask to have a mid night out romp in the bathroom with. For a moment Harry wishes the two of you could be those people again, the ones who met in that karaoke bar and were just having fun and enjoying each others company, before all the pregnancy chaos happened and he potentially ruined everything. Because something deep inside of him knows that if he just took the time to get to know you and stopped getting in his own way, heâd probably really like you and that kind of terrifies him.
âYou are going to ensure that girl has a peaceful and smooth pregnancy from here on out do you understand me young man?â Anneâs stern voice makes Harry sit up straighter and knocks him out of his thoughts as he turns to give her all his attention as she stands at the end of the table with a disappointed look on her face.
âYes maâam.â
âYou have such a way with words Harry and itâs a blessing as well as a curse because sometimes you just say the most hurtful things.â Harry swallows hard as his mom lets out a sigh and places a hand on her hip.
âI love you and you know I want to support you but I will not allow you to talk to her like that. You need to get your head out of your ass and treat her with a little respect or else youâre going to end up watching your babies be brought into this world over a phone because she wonât want you anywhere near her and that means not being in the delivery room and youâll never forgive yourself if thatâs how it ends up Harry.â He just nods as he feels his eyes begin to burn with unshed tears he canât seem to blink away at the thought of you being so over him that you donât even want him in the delivery room, something he would have no choice but to agree to.
âI keep-keep fucking it up.â He admits as he sniffles making Anne take a step over to him so she can place her hands on the tops of his shoulders over the chair. âI donât know why I just-just keep hurting her.â
âJust give her some time and maybe while youâre doing that you should give your therapist a call?â She suggests as a few tears slip past Harryâs closed eyes as he just nods.
âOkay.â Anne smiles at his agreement and leans down and places a kiss to the top of his head before she gives his shoulders a nice squeeze.
âItâll be okay Harry you just have to do better starting now.â She tells him before she lets go of his shoulders and heads back inside once again leaving Harry alone at the table in her backyard. He opens his eyes and wipes away the few stray tears that try to make their way down his cheeks, his head turns and his eyes land on your teacup and before he can stop himself he reaches over and grabs it so he can take a sip out of it.
âStill disgusting.â He mumbles to himself as he scrunches his nose while he places it back down on the table before he grabs a piece of toast off your plate. âThatâs not bad though.â He says after he takes a bite out of a a piece with your favorite raspberry jam on it.
He sniffles a bit as he leans back in his chair to get comfortable with the toast in one hand and his phone in the other. He lets out a huff as he scrolls through his contacts until he finds his therapistsâs number, figuring there no time like the present, ready to put his therapistâs whole âIâm here for you anytimeâ to the test as he hits the call icon while he takes another bite of your current pregnancy craving. All while trying not to think about what kind of emotional state youâre currently in all due to his irrational and hurtful outbursts because if heâs feeling this horrible and heâs the one who did the talking he canât imagine how you must be feeling as the one who had to endure the hurtful words.
âSo whose house was that?â Ethan, your neighbor who lives directly across from you asks after a few moments of you sniffling and silently wiping your face to try to rid your cheeks of any wetness due to your tears while stopped at a red light.
âAnneâs.â Is all you can manage to say before you feel your bottom lip start to tremble as you look down at your purse in your lap. Ethan just nods as he does his best to not let on to the fact he clearly knows youâre having a breakdown in his passenger seat because he also had to help you into that very same seat because your tears had made everything a little blurry by the time he got to the house to pick you up and you were a half step away from tripping on the curb before he caught your elbow.
âI met Niall Horan.â You mumble as the light turns green and Ethan lets out a chuckle as he lightly shakes his head before making his way down the street.
âHow many members of One Direction are you currently seeing?â He jokes and that makes you turn to look at him with a raised brow as you rub your hand under your nose, not bothering to try to be polite and look cute in your current teary eyed and snotty state because Ethan has seen you look much worse.
âNone.â You answer as you look down at your lap and place a hand over your bump. âBut I did let one of them get me pregnant.â Ethan has to stop himself from accidentally slamming on the brakes as you casually let the information fall from your lips deciding that now is as good a time as any to let your neighbor who is also one of your very good friends know why youâve been so emotional and a bit cranky lately.
âPlease god let it be Zayn.â Ethan half whispers to himself making you reach over with your free hand and playfully swat at his arm with a chuckle making him smile at the sound of your laugh even if it is a bit watery and rough.
âItâs not Zayn.â You say with a playful sadness as Ethan pulls into the parking lot of the apartment complex.
âAnd obviously itâs not Niall if you just met him today.â You just nod as he pulls into his assigned spot and puts his car into park. You stare out the windshield as he turns to look at you, he lets out a sigh as he reaches over and places a hand on your forearm. âWell if itâs whoâs been lurking around our hallway then letâs just hope this baby has your brains.â
âYou mean babies.â Ethanâs eyes go a little wide but heâs quick to recover and just nods and lifts a shoulder in a casual shrug at the same time as if what you just said is the most normal thing heâs ever heard come out of your mouth.
âTwins?â You just nod as you look over at him and he gives you a smile that makes you feel like crying all over again but for a totally different reason. âHoly shit thatâs-thatâs amazing.â The excitement and genuine happiness you can feel practically radiating off of Ethan is the reaction you find yourself wishing Harry wouldâve had when he found out instead of the one he gave you that ended with you alone in an exam room.
âYou think so?â Ethan just nods as he gives your arm a squeeze. âThey are the size of limes right now.â You inform him for no reason other than itâs one of the few facts you have to offer at the moment about the two humans growing in your tummy.
âLimes huh? Thatâs like my favorite fruit and Iâm not just saying that because Iâm a bartender.â You playfully roll your eyes at him before he just lets you sit in silence with him for a moment.
âI donât think he likes me.â You whisper but Ethan is close enough that he hears you and you feel his grip on your arm tighten just slightly making you turn to look him in his green eyes that thankfully arenât as big and dumb as Harryâs. âLike at all and I actually think he might-he might hate me?â
âWant me to kick his ass? Heâs got like six or seven years on me so Iâm pretty sure I can take him.â
âYou may be younger than him but age has nothing to do with being able to beat someone up.â
âI mean come on heâs Harry Styles how much of a punch can the man pack? Besides Iâll let Paris get him in the ankles and Iâll just deck him in his pretty face and itâll be easy and over with in a few seconds.â You just stare at him for a minute after heâs done explaining his plan of attack and when he lets out a sigh you know itâs one of defeat as he releases his hold on your forearm and runs a hand through his blonde hair.
âFine because youâre an amazing neighbor and a good friend I wonât hit him. But I make no promises on being nice to him.â You give him a smile before you begin to unbuckle yourself and get out of the car while he takes the keys out of the ignition.
âThank you Ethan. For everything.â He just smiles and grabs your purse from you before you can even try to put it over your shoulder and slings it over his as the two of you head inside the lobby of the complex.
âYouâre welcome.â You lean into him as he tosses his arm over your shoulder while the two of you wait for the elevator. âI know youâre the one who usually drops the older sister advice on me but I just want to say that if heâs gonna act like a douchebag and make you upset like this all the time then fuck him. You donât need him. Youâll be okay because Iâll make sure of it.â You know he means every word because Ethan isnât one to just tell you something like this unless he feels he needs to. The two of you step into the elevator and press the number five before you decide to say anything in response.
âSo the younger brother wisdom has finally hit you huh? I was wondering when that would happen. Only took two years of living across the hall from each other.â He laughs as he pulls you closer to his side making you smile. âI do appreciate the advice.â
âI just love and respect you too much to see you put up with bullshit from someone who has a god awful naked mermaid on his forearm.â You give Ethanâs chest a smack as the doors open and he lets you walk out first leading the way to your door. âAlso you know old lady Sherry is going to fucking freak when she hears her favorite cat lady is having twins.â Ethan adds as the two of you walk by Sherryâs door and you laugh and nod because she does refer to you as a cat lady because she thinks at your age you should be married with babies not living alone with Paris.
âSheâs not an old lady Ethan sheâs not even in her sixties yet.â You correct him but he just rolls his eyes and brushes you off as the two of you walk up to your doors. You turn to him as he is digging through your bag thatâs still over his shoulder, no doubt looking for your keys.
âIâm in my early twenties so Iâm sorry everyone over fifty is old.â He teases as he fishes your keys out and hands them to you before he slides your purse off his shoulder and gently places the strap on top of yours making sure it doesnât fall off. âSo tell me what was he-â
âSo much prettier in person.â You answer already knowing who heâs referring to and he laughs at how soft your voice goes as the memory of your brief encounter with Niall runs through your head. âThe television doesnât do him justice at all.â You explain since Ethan is the one you watch The Voice with sometimes along with Paris.
âBut he looks so pretty on the screen already? How can he possibly be prettier in real life?â He asks with a quirked brow and you just shrug causing the strap of your purse to fall down into the crook of your elbow.
âWell Iâm glad something good happened to you today.â You smile as he leans in and wraps his arms around you in a hug.
âLove you Ethan.â He smiles as he pulls away and you turn to unlock your front door.
âLove you too and please tell your little ankle biting boy that I said hello.â You laugh and just nod as you open your door, you turn around to close it and give Ethan a wave as you watch him walk into his own apartment and he waves back before closing his door.
You let out a heavy sigh as you lock the door and drop your bag at your feet. You hear the sound of a bell jingling and soon Paris is purring at your ankles as he rubs his head along your shins making you smile as you bend over and pick him up.
âUncle Ethan says hello.â Paris just purrs in response as he nuzzles his head against your cheek as you make your way into the living room. âOh Paris do I have some news for you.â You say with a sigh as you take a seat on your couch and get comfortable with your feet propped up on the coffee table. Paris moves so heâs resting in your lap with his head against your small bump and you bite your bottom lip as you get ready to spill all the events that happened during the few hours you were gone to him, and youâre thankful he isnât looking at you because youâre not quite sure you could handle looking into his eyes right now since they remind you too much of the big dumb green ones that belong to the man that made you cry just half an hour ago.
#worth the fight series#harry styles series#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fic#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harry styles blurb#harry styles fanfic#harry styles angst#harry styles x pregnant!reader#harry styles x reader#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x fem!reader#harry styles x you#harry styles slow burn#Harry styles enemies to lovers#harry styles fluff#harry styles reader insert#harry styles#Harry styles rpf#my little lanky baby#one direction fanfiction#niall horan#my little irish marshmallow#enemies to lovers#slow burn#strangers to lovers#dadrry
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Mouthwashing Characters Headcanons
The Crew's Love Language ft. You
Captain Curly
Words of Affirmation
The captain is well-known for having his vocabulary overflowing with encouraging and uplifting words, a stellar reputation for giving good pep talks
Deep inside, he always loved hearing words of praise from the people he cared about the most. He always valued the affirmations from them, a foolproof method to make him smile and feel loved
For him, words are like fire, and people can either use them to warm someone up or burn a whole damn city
He never raises his voice at you when it comes to negative emotions, never when he's angry, frustrated, or panicked
He, however, is so enthusiastic when congratulating you or when he's excited about the topic you're both talking about
Your heart (and belly) can't help but feel very warm with the way he uses his words with his deep tone. If a kid asked you how a space superhero would sound, you'd bring Curly forward
With his effort to stay optimistic, you always make sure to tell him an encouraging word or sweet strands of praise whenever you see him and after he does something
"Captain, remember to stay hydrated, you're doing great, sir."
"You always know how to put the crew at ease, Cap. Appreciate it"
"You're so reliable, gosh, thank you!"
Every praise and affirmation you throw his way makes him blush and stutter, a polar opposite to his status
You make it a duty to compliment him sincerely. The hunk of a man ends up having a red face every time he receives your sweet words to the point that the crew teases him for it
"Cap, what's red and stutters?"
"I swear, Jimm--"
"Oh, oh! I know!"
"Come on, Daisuke, not you to--"
"You, after talkin' to Y/N."
The captain, co-pilot, and intern stared at Swanseaâs retreating back after he butted into a conversation that the mechanic would find ridiculous even being a part of
You also made sure to neverâI MEAN NEVERâuse words against him, especially with secrets or information that he exclusively told you about (probably the reason why you and Jimmy ended the Captain's birthday party with knives at each other's throats)
Mechanic Swansea
Acts of Service
The old man was raised in a household where serving your family is the ultimate display of love
His father scoffed after reaching the last part of young Swansea's greeting in the Christmas card he gave him:
"I love you? Boy, you can't even make a decent cut on that firewood from a while ago"
"I love you's" are just empty words for him. When you really want to reach into his head and hammer some sense of what you feel about him, you gotta show it
However, unlike his father, he doesn't need a grand display of actions to know and notice. He actually prefers the little things you do:
Remembering his coffee preference and making it every morning
Giving him a massage in the area his hands seem to knead frequently
Putting his socks on before work
Giving him a pedicure (after leveraging that he'd eat you in bed for the whole night)
He also holds himself up to the same standard, always doing chores around the house whenever you're busy:
No stocks of pads and tampons? He'll make sure he gets the right brand you always get
Your favorite furniture that you inherited needs varnishin'? He's on it.
Your daughter's birthday is coming up, but you're too ill to make the cake? He ain't a baker, but he'd be damned if he won't at least try
"Daddd, is this... is this meat... on my birthday cake?"
"S'called 'cake of love' for a reason, darlin'. You don't question its ingredients. It's made of love"
What makes your heart flutter is not having to tell him all the things that need to be done. He knows what's lacking and what you need
When there are times you have to vocalize your concerns, he'll simply nod, and after a moment, it's done
Co-pilot Jimmy
Physical Touch
*Sighs* Need I say more?
Jimmy is the type whoâs not comfortable with PDA, but he can't seem to keep his hands off of you when he feels threatened, (especially when Curly is having a casual conversation with you)
You can't blame the guy; he doesn't even understand how you fell for him somehow, but he's not complaining, and he most definitely will not let you go (possessive boi is a touchy boi)
His touches are not always sensual, and it actually surprises you how gentle he is when holding you
Whenever you're busy, he'd pass by to squeeze your waist or brush a touch on your lower back
When you're both around each other but are doing different tasks, he'd make sure to have a part of you touching him:
A hand on the thigh
A leg over your thighs
His head on your chest or shoulder or thighs (the boy's got magnets on your thighs, what can I say?)
And his personal favorite: having you sit between his legs with your back pressed against his chest.
One time, a frustrated Curly called you. It's been a week since Jimmy left for his job-training, and you weren't aware that someone was also getting through a torturous week like you and Jimmy
The captain was at the other end of his friend's damp mood
"I don't know what you do to him, Y/N. He's a completely different person when he's with you"
"Hmm, how bout massaging his hand, cap. It improves his mood, and it always works"
"..."
"Hello? Curly?"
"...Y/N, are you trying to get me killed? It works because you're the one doing it!"
Intern Daisuke
Quality Time and Giving Gifts
The boy loves spending time with you. He doesn't need to plan for what to do during those times you'd be together because he always finds ways to make you enjoy it so much that you have to keep a wristwatch to check how much time has passed
He's known to be a yapper but not the type of yapper that tires you
The man has a lot of questions for you to the point that you're concerned that he knows more information about yourself than you
Pointing out things he notices you do, like looking slightly at the right when you're lying or knowing how many moles are in your face and neck
It doesn't creep you out though, you picked up that he's very observant when he's interested and that flatters you that he take mental notes of these small things just by being around him
Whenever he knows that you won't be seeing him for a while, he makes sure that you know what he'll be doing and where he'll go
Basically the main reason when the crew - especially Swansea - would look for him, they'll go straight to you
"Hey kid, where's that boy again?"
"Toilet, Swansea. He said it's a raging diarr--"
"Yeah yeah, toilet's fine. geez."
Daisuke also buys you trinkets he finds that remind him of youâfrom crocheted baby mushrooms to obscure plastic eyeball keychains
"I understood the frog keychain last week, but... a turd plushie?"
"Cause I feel shitty when we're apart"
"Valid"
His gifts are very specific and you even cried one time in a store trying to outgift him, spoiler, you can't. He never makes you feel bad about it, he always claimed that he takes pride at being the Leslie Knope of the real world (iykyk)
Nurse Anya
Quality Time
She strongly believes that spending time with someone is the core of a relationship
She definitely isnât the person to be clingy - nope, she's a queen with self-worth. If you don't want to spend time with her, don't expect her to chase you
The more you spend time with her, though, the more she opens up. For her, trust is something earned over time, and you made the effort to build that trust brick by brick
After falling for her harder, your trips to the medbay became more frequent with "accidental injuries"
"Hey, miss Anya."
"Hey y/n, kindly be careful. Donât want you to have your 4th visit this week."
"Heh, what can I say? I hate breaking the streak. Gotta keep you on your toes."
"Y/N, itâs still Wednesday."
"Good time to give you your once-a-week training, right?"
Once sheâs comfortable with you, her affection shows in the little things:
Putting your vitamins and supplements on accessible places because she knows you forget taking them
Giving you random psychology tests after finding our that you loved them
Or being comfortable enough to nap on your shoulders (you earned that trust on the hundred and tenth day)
You don't even have to talk while being together; as long as both of you are around each other, her shoulders relax, and her face is at peace
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing swansea#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing daisuke#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing quotes#mouthwashing memes#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing wrong organ#wrong organ#curly#anya#jimmy#daisuke#swansea#mouthwash#mouthwashing anya x reader#mouthwashing curly x reader#mouthwashing daisuke x reader#mouthwashing swansea x reader#mouthwashing jimmy x reader#mouthwashing characters x reader#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing reader headcanons#mouthwashing reader-insert#mouthwashing x you#mouthwashing x y/n
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A Collection of My Viktor x Reader Headcanons
Hereâs the long list of headcanons I have about Viktor and my self-insert OC thatâs been sitting in my notes app. Many of these will likely make their way into and be more fleshed out in my fics. I just have so much love for him and so many ideas that I had to post them.
Most are gender-neutral besides a couple. All the fics Iâve written in this AU so far are in my masterlist and in a series on my AO3.
Enjoy đ
Drinks his coffee either black or with a shit ton of milk and sugar, no in between. Youâll catch him drinking the darkest roast in existence and then the next day heâll be drinking a sweet milk Frappuccino or something
If youâre the same size or bigger than him, he likes to steal your clothes. Especially when itâs cold, heâll layer a bunch of your sweaters, claiming yours are âwarmerâ than his
He loves when you play with his hair. It calms him down and soothes him like nothing else
Sometimes he feels bad he doesnât have the arm strength to pick you up, so one time he asked Jayce if he could borrow his gauntlets
He can be very forgetful, but itâs never because he doesnât care. Be patient with him his mind is a crazy place
He gets quite the ego boost when he realizes âtalking nerdy to youâ turns you on. Heâll purposefully start explaining science shit and get you embarrassingly flustered
Heâs definitely a cat person. If you guys got one they would be basically attached to each other, to the point the cat would escape the house and follow him to work in the lab sometimes
Also likes to steal your hair and shower products. He loves all the scents and how soft they make his waves and skin
He can play the Viola, a skill his mother taught him when he was a kid. Heâs very rusty but heâll play for you occasionally
His favorite way to annoy you is poking you with his cane. Heâs a little shit about it too, mainly doing it when youâre in the middle of something
When he works longer hours in the lab, you like to bring him snacks, only to find out Jayce is the one who eats most of them after you leave
He likes to see your face when youâre cuddling, so spooning isnât really the go-to position. But if he does heâs not really partial to being the big or little spoon
He still has the toy boat he made as a kid. It sits on the mantle over your fireplace
He technically needs glasses, but his vision isnât bad enough he has to wear them. He considers getting them only because you told him heâd look cute with them
If youâre afraid of bugs, he has no problem catching them and putting them back outside. He likes to let them crawl on him for a bit first though, he doesnât mind them at all
If you ever get in a fight, he can be very stubborn in his opinions, and he often tries to fix the problem before understanding your side. Once he realizes that sometimes you just want him to listen to you, though, misunderstandings become much more infrequent
He loves food with lots of spices and strong flavors. Especially if youâre the one who cooks it
He snores when he sleeps, and pretty loudly at that. If youâre not a deep sleeper who can sleep through it youâll probably need a white noise maker or something
He uses you as a fidget toy quite often, playing with your hands, massaging your arms and thighs, twirling your hair. Sometimes heâll mindlessly start squeezing your tits, not even in a sexual way necessarily, just cuz theyâre squishy
Wants kids with you, but is terrified of leaving your children fatherless if his disease gets the best of him
Everything in your house has the potential to be a new invention, youâve lost count of how many appliances have been modified in some way
He likes puzzles, on the rare occasion he has free time to do them for leisure. He can even do those crazy multi thousand piece ones
One of his main love languages is definitely parallel play. He loves spending time with you even if itâs in silence doing separate things
Loves when you lay on top of him. He doesnât care how heavy you are, youâre his favorite weighted blanket
He likes to keep his personal life private from most people, but never in the sense that he hides you. Everyone knows youâre together, but very few know how much you actually mean to each other
He leaves marks and hickeys on you even when he doesnât necessarily mean to, simply because his canines are so sharp
Whenever he and Jayce are asked to travel anywhere to meet with Hextech investors, he always brings you with him. You couldnât afford a honeymoon when you first got married, so he makes up for it by turning work trips into vacations
He likes to leave you love notes sometimes when he wakes up and leaves before you, but his handwriting is so messy you can rarely read them. He usually says what he wrote when he sees you next anyway though
#viktor arcane x reader#arcane Viktor x reader#Viktor x reader#arcane x reader#Viktor arcane#arcane viktor#arcane
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we're getting into the cover compositions that start falling apart ! i really adore stan and mabel being outside the frame, bringing in the purple from step V, and the green from step IV . playing with visuals is neat ! drawing those pictures was less neat !
this was the hardest chapter to wrte and sat unfinished for WEEKS . chapter seven wasn't even going to exist, but six got so long i had to split it up . it was wild . for a long time i had no idea what they were even gonna be doing on this planet . there used to be a, like, fortress they needed to break into ?
the family splitting up was always part of the plan, but originally it was because there was a large gate they needed to get through, and ford was gonna go alone until dipper volunteered to go with him . that was back when i was gonna try and have ford persuade dipper into being his apprentice, like he did in the show, because it was weird in the show too . but that sucked and slowed the whole pace down . i much prefer the rift getting escalated for emotional reasons .
was a challenge re enforcing a lot of fords abilities, along with introducing the journal, and trying to find a way to make it entertaining . i really love the response to ford, and one of my favorite things writing him is the way he describes things in the stupidest terms . like the shampoo & conditioner comment . the 30 second audio clips bit makes me think of those shitty cheap plastic toys you'd buy at claire's, where you get like, one minute of an nsync song . i think mabel would have loved those honestly
originally ford was also way more of a dick about mabel, specifically, but i realized i hate that a bit and really tried to punch up how sweet he is on the kids . i'm glad i did that, because i think its a lot stronger narratively that the dude has no ill thoughts towards the kids - dipper's attitude is just him listening, absorbing, and projecting in a way that helps him regain some control over his home situation
lots to say about the kids and their deal, though that could be its own separate thing . i'll just say it went under a lot of revisions, and had a lot of conversations about it . my goal was to have some pushback on the idea that mabel is this emotionally enlightened bastion of truth . god i have a lot i could rant on this point, but i really want to get across it's not a good thing when your 12 yr old niece tries to give you a therapy session . like . that's a bad thing, overall, to be quite honest .
dipper's whole thing is just aaaaaaaaaaaa it's hard to be trans in 2012 . well it's hard to be trans in general . dipper pines i love you i want you to know that you sweaty weirdo . you and your sister are gonna be just fine
it's fun that the kids become less of a background element once both adults in the room start to pay proper attention to them . as i write these chapters, i like to imagine that mabel and dipper are just having a regular ass gravity falls adventure, while the adults are having to walk down trauma lane lalalalal
oh fuck we also get the man in the hallway with his mystery pendant . did anyone see that guy the fuck was up with that . oh well i guess that's not important L O L
oh fuck this was also the professional working relationship chapter what the fuck ... i'm gonna be honest i laugh about that everytime .... the entire scene where bill starts counting his teeth almost got cut which would have been fucking stupid . yes i am referencing macdennis with them . yes ford does tell bill to smoke a cigarette to get rid of the toxins . that's how it SHOULD be . that's how a working relationship GOES
anyways ford and stanley's home life was fucked the fanfiction the movie . yay
bill is in everyone's hallway if you force the perspective enough:
favorite part:
âDipper, there are⊠certain quirks of demon containment that are easier to let happen than argue about.â Ford says. Teeth counting is one of the top ones. Along with letting Bill clip his nails when theyâve grown out too long, or cut his hair when it gets too shaggy, or⊠actually, thereâs a lot of things Bill will throw a fit about if Ford fights him over it. Though Ford supposes he has his own list as well, including forcing Bill to do regular blood checks, and have consistent meals with appropriate dietary restrictions. Dipper, clearly, doesnât get it, and Ford acknowledges he is too young to understand a professional working relationship.
in case anyone was confused about there being anything romantic okay . please review the above paragraph it is VERY clear about the nature of their relationship, thank you
The family gets separated by some stupid metaphors, the kids have some normal and healthy conversations, and both Pines brothers handle the situation very, very well.
Everything's going just peachy, so long as you ignore all the problems.
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The Favor 12
Itâs been 800 years and Iâm sorry đ now that we reached this point inspo has come and gone so fast. But I got this part done and the next one on Patreon now! I would love to hear thoughts and suggestions, Iâve already implemented some of what you guys have asked for in my planned parts đ©· enjoy! And happy holidays
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WC- 6.6k
Warnings- mentions of a Dom/sub dynamic, anxiety mention, misogyny, we hate Danny club tee shirts being passed around, tooth rotting fluff, mentions of relationship trauma
Danny hadnât always been a bad boyfriend.Â
At first he had been kind and sweet. With him being a tad bit more outgoing than Y/N, he had brought her into his friend group and integrated her as one of them. He had brought her flowers for their 6 month anniversary, they went on dates on the weekends twice a month, and it was nice. Solid, steady.Â
Until he got a little too comfortable.Â
Y/N could see it now that she had removed her heart from the equation. Danny was lazy, and it had shown more and more as the year mark hit, and then two years, and she had to remind him of Valentineâs Day, make the birthday plans, schedule the dates, or go along with the plans heâd made with his friends. He would get her gifts on those occasions, yes, but the most stereotypical things. It had lacked thought. Flowers and chocolates on Valentineâs Day were nice! She didnât want to come across as ungrateful ever- but when heâd gotten her dark chocolate when he should have known she really disliked it, it made it a little less sweet- pun intended.Â
If someone were to ask Y/N why she stayed so long, she wouldnât have one singular answer. Comfort? Familiarity? Routine? Perhaps lack of self esteem? She wasnât sure. Being raised to think you had a specific way of doing things, of dating, engagement, then marriage, she hadnât really been given many other examples. Growing up, her parents had been high school sweethearts, as had both of their parents. There was no breaking up, it was a one and done type of deal.Â
She wasnât sure if that was set in stone, though. It was an unspoken rule, something left unsaid like a thinly veiled threat in the night air. They spoke of the great love story of finding your one and only and it made her feel like she had to stick to that too. Sheâd never asked her mother about it, because she never really entertained the idea of having any other partner.Â
It was easy with Danny in the way that she knew what to expect. She knew his habits, she knew his work, his schedule. She knew his friends, his plans for life, there were no surprises. Nothing that would jump back out and bite her, catch her off guard as he slowly leaned into being less attentive.&
Maybe thatâs why even when she started having doubts she had stuck them to the back of her mind.Â
There was no denying that Harry had been a very, very big part in all of it. The funny part of it was, she wasnât sure that the sex bit was what truly got her to reconsider even if it had started it all. As incredible, euphoric as she felt- it was the way she felt afterwards. Before, even. When they sat in his bed and he stroked her cheek, feeding her cubes of cantaloupe or strawberries sliced in half, or when heâd picked up a carton of her yogurt and granola after mentioning what she usually had for breakfast at home.Â
It was how gentle he handled her not only physically, but emotionally. He checked in, he cared, he asked her multiple times what she liked and what she didnât. If it was okay to touch her certain ways, if he could kiss her. Just little things that seemed so minuscule in size if you looked at it from the outside but felt so big to her that it tore at her heart.Â
Heâd gotten her that damn water bottle, heâd gotten used to washing her hair when they shared showered, he used that tender tone of voice that had her bones feeling flexible as she melded into him each and every time.Â
And another thing she had found to like about Harry, was the fact that he was just⊠dominant in most regards.
It wasnât overly so. He wasnât this complete alpha, macho man, fists banging on the chest sort of guy. He didnât walk into the room and demand to be the biggest and baddest in the room. It was understated, quiet. If you looked at him you could just⊠see. Feel it. You could see he held it together well, that he liked control in the way he kept things organized and held eye contact regardless of who it was. He very rarely shied away from a situation. In fact, Y/N felt very special for being one of the only people she had seen make him blush or get flustered.Â
It was second nature to him to just do. To pick up where she left off. So it did make her wonder what else she could do for him. How she could help him relieve stress. Yes, there was the sexual aspect that she was more than willing to hand over whenever he wanted (no exaggeration- any time, any place) but she wanted to be the person he allowed himself to loosen up with.Â
Sheâd seen glimpses. Silliness and joking, that sort of tenderness that he didnât seem to give to anyone else, but she wanted to make his life easier. Researching the dynamics between dominants and submissives, she had some questions- but the first thing she needed to do was cut off the dead weight- the only thing holding them back.Â
â-
Meeting at the park was a good idea. She could tell by his face that he had a clue what was going to happen and as much as she tried not to, she did feel a tiny sliver of guilt.Â
Y/N didnât necessarily cheat, no. Sheâd had full permission, ecstatic permission, actually. Heâd handed her over to Harry. Being realistic she knew he didnât realize it would be an option that he wouldnât get her back. Danny was headstrong in a way she found a lot of men were. He didnât consider the possibility that she actually did know what she wanted and once she had a taste, she would want that for herself all the time.
âYouâre leaving me for him.â
âNot necessarily.â She sighed, crossing her arms around her body. âIt isnât just about him. Itâs about the fact that we arenât compatible anymore, and we havenât been in a long time.â
Danny scoffed, tilting his head towards the sky. âSo, what? Iâm nice? I let you go and see and play around to explore that shit and now youâve gotten addicted to that sort of stuff? We can get you to therapy, because it isnât healthy. But obviously it was a mistake to hand you off to him-â
âYes. If you loved me, if you truly wanted me, Daniel- youâd never, ever want someone else to touch me.â She remembered how Harry had said he didnât want to share her. Look, sure. But never touch. âYou said the shit Iâm into is weird, you shame me, then pawn me off to your friend which⊠itâs dangerous. The both of us are lucky Harry is genuinely an amazing guy-â she shot him a look as he let out a noise but continued anyways. âHarry is amazing and kept me safe. He taught me the safe ways of doing things. And I liked it. Iâm not going to lie to you, I really liked all of it and I know you arenât into it.â For once, her face softened.
âAnd you donât have to be. I donât judge you for not wanting to do it. I never have. I was upset by your reactions and how you made me feel bad, but I would never ask you to do something you truly arenât comfortable with. But if this is something I want, something I find myself needing to be fulfilled, Iâm not going to try to change you or myself to try and salvage a relationship that was barely working anyways.â
âBarely working?â Danny looked genuinely confused. âThe fuck are you talking about.â Again, her anger bubbled under the surface, but the exhaustion of the whole thing kept her from exploding.Â
âDanny, you barely gave me attention. When you apologized the first time and we went out to the bar, you brushed me off the whole time. You treated me like an accessory. There was no passion to our relationship.â Y/N wasnât sure how he didnât see that. âWe had the same conversations every day, barely had any excitement. I donât think you loved me- I think I was convenient. And I donât hold that against you either, but I think I was convenient to you.â
âThatâs just how relationships are! They even out and get a little boring.â He defended, nostrils flaring as he was obviously offended with her observation. She had a feeling he would get that way. It was just another reason why they needed to end things.Â
âTo a degree. After years of marriage and things settle down, your partner is supposed to become your best friend. And we barely speak to each other if it isnât about plans, or something you want to. If I feel like talking about something I can physically see you tune me out. This was happening far before you even handed me off to Harry.â
âAnd heâs going to give you that?â He sneered, looking at her like she was some sort of idiot. It had been very clear since the beginning that Danny really did put people into boxes, and Harry was in the sexual deviant one. He had no ability to see the depth in people and that had always been something that bothered her about him, but seeing it now towards someone she was falling for made her angry.Â
âI donât know.â She snapped. âBut regardless if it is him or not, you need to stop that. You just⊠you learn something about someone and you completely disregard them as people. You knew he was into some different stuff and all of a sudden heâs a whore, some kind of sexual deviant that canât commit. Heâs had partners, long term. Heâs caring. Heâs kind. He listens to what I have to say. It isnât just sex every time I go over to his place, you understand that right?âÂ
He didnât, obviously, but the way his brows pulled together and he looked at her like he didnât know what she was talking about. âDid you expect him to string me up and hit me with a paddle a few times and me to run back to you?â She was positive that was the thought process as it was as soon as she saw the face he made. âWe bond. We make breakfast or go out for it, we watch shows, we take his dog on a walk- the dynamic of this whole thing goes far past just sex, Danny. Itâs trust. I know you did minimal research into what this actually is, but Iâm telling you that we werenât just going at it like bunnies. Iâm not hypnotized by his dick. Heâs so nice to me, and he listens, and heâŠ.â Y/N could feel herself getting emotional, so she had to reign it in. He didnât need this sort of response from her.Â
âListen. Iâm sorry. I know we had plans, but theyâre not for me anymore. I have no idea if Harry wants to actually date me or not. I have no clue where my life is going, but I just donât see us being together anymore.â
ââ
It was a bit anticlimactic. Danny couldnât really argue with her, (even if he did try a few times). Not when it was so abundantly clear her mind was made up. It was over. Regardless of what he thought about Harry or her sexual preferences or anything she liked, it was her opinion that mattered. Sheâd been coasting for so long that she had forgotten how it felt to actually be behind the wheel. As terrifying as it was to navigate- it felt good.Â
âA mixed box, please.â Y/N politely asked the worker at the donut shop, knowing Harry was a bit of a fiend for a donut with his coffee. âAn extra chocolate though, if you donât mind.â
âOf course! Half or whole dozen?âÂ
âWhole, please.âÂ
She checked her phone to see a text waiting from him, her mood lightening immediately as her eyes traced over the screen.Â
H: You alright, sweetheart? Please text me when youâre on your way here x.Â
H: p.s. I miss you a little.Â
Her heart felt like it grew too big for her chest as she took a shaky inhale, thumbing over the keyboard to reply to the man. It had been ages since she had gotten giddy over a man texting her, Harry being the first one since sheâd left school honestly. It wasnât that she wanted to constantly compare her past relationship with him, but it was hard not to when everything felt so much better.
Y/N: hiiii â€ïž Iâm good. I made a stop but as soon as Iâm done here Iâll be on my way. Maybe 20?Â
Y/N: p.s. I miss you a little bit tooÂ
Tucking her phone back in her pocket, she thanked the girl and checked out at the register, tapping her card before taking the box and walking back out to her car.Â
She was a single woman, now. Sort of? That was sort of a mystery. She was Harryâs. The fact was clear both in her heart and the bruises sucked over the swell of her breast, also coincidentally over her heart. The question laid in his hands, if they were an actual item or not. Heâd proclaimed she was his what seemed to be a million times but how far did that go?Â
It wasnât like she was dumb- she knew there were feelings in both ends. Men didnât act like that unless they were actually wanting you. She knew she wasnât completely naive for feeling somewhat confident that Harry would want her, but it was the question of in what way. As a submissive? As a girlfriend? That question would be asked tonight, but right now she really just needed a hug.Â
There was no need to knock anymore as she scales the porch steps and approached the door, instead punching in the code to his security system and pushing the door open. The clicking of nails alerted her to Buttons before she even saw the pup, eagerly running towards her with a happy yip.Â
âHello, my darling.â She cooed, hanging her purse up on the hook and toed her shoes off. âThese are not for you, Mâsorry. We can get you a treat though. Whereâs daddy, hm?âÂ
âKitchen!â He called through the house, making her smile widen. She could smell coffee, the dark roast permeating the air as she padded towards the room. It was one of the best times of day to be in the room, sunlight pouring through the wide windows. Even better to frame him as he leaned against the island, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing.Â
He was always beautiful, but seeing him in this light- literally and metaphorically- had her tummy swirling. His hair fluffy from the shower this morning and pushed off his head, the facial hair he had let grow because she said she liked it, the tee shirt tucked into linen pants, all of it was enticing. It felt more intense now that there was no real barrier holding her back from allowing her to think those sorts of things about him.Â
âExcuse me, miss? Whatâs in that box?â His voice tilted as his smile grew, looking at the familiar pink box.Â
âYou know whatâs in the box.â She hummed, placing it down next to him. âItâs where I stopped. Iâm sorry to say I broke into them and ate a chocolate one on the drive here, but thereâs 11 others in there for you to choose from.âÂ
âHow will I ever forgive you.â His eyes rolled as he uncrossed his arms and pulled her into them, seeming to know what she needed before she could even utter a word about it. He knew what she went to do and while it was exciting, he knew she had been slightly anxious about the reaction. âYou alright, darling? Seriously?âÂ
Y/N wasnât sure if it was being in the safety of his arms and realizing that he was the only one she felt this safe with, if it was the slight exhaustion from not being able to sleep well, or the emotion of letting go of something that had once felt like her life, but she felt the wall hit her. Nodding into his chest, she stayed buried there as the tears bubbled over her lashline.Â
âOh, Angel. Mâsorry. Thatâs a dumb question.ââhe sighed, curling his hand around the back of her head and gently running his fingers through her hair. âI know. Sâbeen a lot, the last few weeks. But youâre safe here, yeah? We donât have to talk about it, or we can. Itâs up to you.â
She knew he did want to. He wouldnât press her because he was a good man and he was considerate of her feelings, but he wanted to know what happened and considering the entirety of this, she wanted to. It just⊠needed to be in a minute. Arms wrapped around his form as she took in unsteady breaths, trying to calm herself down. It was easier said than done when he felt like the lifeline now, but she didnât want to cry over it.Â
âWe can.â She gave a watery laugh as she turned her cheek to rest on him, letting herself breathe properly instead of keeping herself shoved against his body. âIâm not upset because we broke up. I-I donât really care about that, actually. Iâm glad. He didnât take it well but he also didnât throw a tantrum. It just upset me because I was seeing him for one of the first times as who he was instead of m-making excuses and I felt a little dumb for staying for so long.â It was embarrassing.
Harry knew she wasnât done so he didnât interrupt, continuing the soothing strokes as she stayed leaning against him. âHe puts people in boxes. Like he⊠he thought you were one dimensional and so was I. Thought that I didnât actually know what I w-wanted, and that we were just fucking this whole time. Couldnât believe that we were actually bonding and that you could possibly like me, or vice versa, outside a bedroom.â Her scoff made him chuckle just a bit, leaning his head down to kiss the top of hers, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.Â
âAnd it really hit me how he couldnât fathom that you have feelings that go past sexual deviancy or that I actually know what I want and I wasnât just addicted to sex or something. Did you know he used to get me chocolates for Valentineâs Day but heâd get dark, and I hate dark chocolate.â She sniffled. âOr heâd make me plan stuff because I was âbetterâ at it. I just felt in charge of everything except plans with his friends, unless it had to do with getting a gift for a wedding or baby shower or birthday. Then I could handle it because⊠I donât know. I was leading the whole thing and I wasnât getting anything in return and Iâm just now realizing how shitty I felt the whole time. I think I just coasted the whole time b-because my family did the whole high school or college sweetheart things and I felt like I needed to, too.â
It made a lot of sense to him, now, why she felt she needed this. The dynamic. Naturally submissive, he knew, but being forced to take the role that she didnât want for the sake of a relationship she was trying to keep afloat merely because she felt a responsibility? His poor fucking girl.Â
âIâm sorry.â He whispered. âI know it isnât exactly the sort of thing you want to hear and it wonât make it better, but Iâm sorry. It hurt you, it made you feel under appreciated and taken for granted. You didnât deserve any of that.âÂ
It wouldnât make a difference now but he wished he had met her first. Met her before Danny had gotten to her and been able to snatch her up, give her the sort of attention she properly needed, take care of her the way she had always been craving. For someone who didnât naturally have that sort of instinct he had to imagine it was exhausting. Harry took pride in being the planner, the provider. He liked being in charge and knowing what was happening, making things easy and smooth. But for Y/N who already didnât want to be doing it, he knew it had to have felt like she was trapped.Â
âMânever going to make you do those things.â He murmured. âNot if you donât want to. I donât⊠it isnât something that Iâd ever want you to do if you didnât want to. There is no right or wrong way to have a relationship, but the burden shouldnât fall on only one person if they donât want it to.â He smeared his lips in a ring of kisses around her hairline. âI know you donât need me tâtell you that how you were treated wasnât right, but I hope you know that you can tell me if you ever feel that way. If you⊠if you donât want to do something, you donât have to.â There was a pause. âWhen weâre not playing.âÂ
âI was gonna hold you to that.â She laughed against him, pulling her head back to look at him. âSo, um.. I didnât want to assume anything, but Iâm gonna now and think that you want to.. that you like me enough to keep me around?â
Harry looked at her for a few moments before shutting his eyes, dropping his head to rest on hers. âIf I hadnât made it clear before, I think Mâgonna make it even clearer now.âÂ
Y/N didnât have a chance to breathe before he scooped her up to sit her in the counter, their lips fused together in a kiss she hadnât fully felt before. Something he had held back, it lingered under it all as she easily melted into him. It felt different, like a barrier had fallen off with the way he handled her. It was still delicate, still tender, but there was no hint of hesitancy in the way he led the kisses, smoothing his thumbs over her cheeks as he cupped her face in those massive hands she loved so much. Unhurried, unrestrained but no sense of urgency.Â
Like he knew now he didnât have to rush, that he had more time to prove to her that he meant every unspoken word he poured into this.Â
The slight salt of her tears reminded him to pull back, to pace himself. Oddly enough, he had no urge to have sex right now. Everything was soft. Silky. Lovelaced and sweet, hinted with the motivation to give her the relationship that she deserved. It meant heâd have to ask her what she would want, but right now he just wanted to bask in the feeling of her in his palms and the warm sun and sugary donuts in the box and the strong coffee finishing its brew across the kitchen.Â
âHi.â He smiled lightly as he pulled back, eyes hooded as he watched hers peel open to meet his own. Her lips were bare of anything but chapstick he had faint taste of- strawberry, he was positive of it- and slightly puffy from the kiss that had gone on for a bit longer than they should have been able to breathe.Â
âHi.â Her voice was a peep as the shyness took over her face, but Harry didnât let her move from it. As much as she wanted to burrow back into his chest, he kept her chin up. The energy was palpable, giddiness rocking his belly as he tugged her lip from her teeth. No biting of lips near him, not right now. Even if it was cute.Â
There was a lot to speak about in regards to them as a pairing, but he wanted to soak in this warmth for a bit before getting down to the gritty bit of it. The girl had brought him his favorite sweets, and he wanted to enjoy them with her.
âDo you want some coffee?âÂ
âTea, please.âÂ
â
Harry hadnât been positive Y/N would go through with it.Â
That wasnât a fault or doubt of her person, not at all. But he knew that she really didnât like hurting people. That much had been something heâd learned very early on in knowing her. She had been mindful of Dannyâs feelings the whole time, trying not to flaunt any of it in his face and not giving details unless he asked- which he hardly did.Â
Theyâd not really gotten any sort of response about what theyâd done in front of him but Harry knew he wasnât going to say anything about it because he would be too ashamed to admit it. He wasnât shocked, though, when he got text messages during the day while Y/N slept soundly on his lap while watching a movie as Harry worked on his phone. She never could stay awake when the movie turned on and he played with her hair. One hand had been gently massaging her scalp while the other typed on his screen when the message popped up on his screen.Â
D: I donât know what the fuck you did to her but I hope youâre happy. I trusted you with her, man. And you fucking stole her. She was mine. That shit youâre into is disgusting and youâve brainwashed her or something, itâs fucked up.Â
Harry almost laughed at the message until he remembered what Y/N had been so upset about. The fact she hadnât been seen as a person with her own emotions and feelings during the duration of the relationship had hit her. It may have started out good but it ended badly when she realized that he didnât think she could choose what she liked. This was a prime example of it.Â
HS: I get being upset, but I didnât steal her. She isnât property. Sheâs capable of making her own decisions and you texting me something like that proves you donât trust her judgment yet again. Iâll do my best to make her happy, I care about her more than you can fathom.Â
HS: I wonât be by any group gatherings, so donât worry about that. Bye.Â
Harry muted the conversation.Â
It really wasnât something he needed to talk to about with him anymore. He wasnât sorry, he didnât regret anything, he didnât think what they did was fucked up. He could go back and forth about how Danny had been the one to hand over his girlfriend and push her right into Harryâs arms but at what cost? Why would he bother?Â
She was curled in his lap, head on his thighs with soft breaths puffing against his shirt. Buttons laid at his dog bed near the fireplace and he felt that happiness bubble up in his stomach again. This was what he wanted.Â
The dominant and submissive dynamic was something he loved and he enjoyed, absolutely. But the base level of his desires was wanting a real relationship with this before all the rest of it fell into place. Happiness at the most base level, trust, peace. Finding the delicate balance.Â
His eyes traced over her features as his mind wandered a bit. Was a full dynamic what she wanted? Was she looking for commitment right off the bat? Or did she need a little breathing room?Â
That didnât seem as likely considering how sheâd come right back home to him.Â
The knowledge that she didnât have anything holding her back was something that pleased him endlessly. He didnât have to worry about stepping on toes. While they hadnât expressed out loud that they wanted to be in a full and committed relationship, he knew she wouldnât be here if she didnât want to be.Â
If he was honest with himself, he knew that an emotional affair had played a part in it. The both of them had been feeling things for each other for a bit, at least for him it had been a while. Y/N had poured her trust into him and he had taken that very seriously. Heâd done his best to keep himself in check but now he really didnât have to.Â
It was astounding how fast emotions could form, how feelings could grow from a seedling planted in the pit of his belly to a full bloom that burst through his chest. Sheâd made a garden inside of him and he wanted her to see just how beautiful it could be, if she gave him the chance. A real one.Â
Harry the dominant was one part of him but it wasnât the whole part. He was a fully fleshed out human with faults. He was picky about keeping his house clean, he could be a bit pushy sometimes, he tended to isolate when he was upset about something. There was hints of insecurity and possessiveness in his personality, jealousy. God, he was a pathetically jealous person even if he tried to keep it under wraps. These were things she hadnât exactly gotten to see, even if there were glimpses here and there. The underlying anxiety was there and prevalent that maybe sheâd see those parts and not like him as much.Â
The reminder that Y/N wasnât that cruel circled back around and called him some, smiling as he felt her stir and scoot closer to him. Her nose nuzzled into his stomach, slow breathing evening out as she got comfortable again pressed up against him. The reminder that she also had faults that he hadnât exactly seen yet was a comfort. He doubted that anything would truly scare him away, though. The obsession was already in place.Â
âMâgonna do my best.â He whispered quietly, letting the back of his hand brush her warm cheek as she snoozed, unaware of his tender words under his breath. Unaware that it felt like he was holding the world in the palm of his hand now, and it was slightly terrifying as he tried to ensure he wouldnât break it. âGonna take care of you, sweet girl. Promise.âÂ
ââ
Their dinner was quiet. Harry had put on jazz music that was understated beneath their talking, the food was good, but there was no denying that they both knew a conversation laid ahead that would be a defining factor.Â
As much as Harry tried to be calm about it, he was slightly nervous. Y/N looked slightly anxious and he tried to keep his shoulders relaxed but it was hard to when he was unsure what part she was anxious about. Thankfully, he didnât have to wait long.Â
âIâm over Danny.â She blurted out. The dam had splintered and she felt like she couldnât keep it back anymore. âI think I was over him for a long time. if he was in love with me, he would have never sent me to fuck around with someone else. If I was truly in love with him, I wouldnât have agreed. I wouldnât have been so eager to come and see you. It has been bothering me for a bit thinking maybe I was a bad person for wanting to move on so quickly but I think I had accepted subconsciously that it had been over for so long that it made it easier for me to feel almost single when I was around you.â Taking a gulp of air, she continued. To his credit Harry didnât interrupt, merely folded his hands on the table and looked intently at her.Â
âThe last thing I want you to consider yourself is a rebound, though. Iâve been torn because⊠while I know I like you a lot, and I do- I really do like you,â she paused to give him a nervous smile. âI wanted to make sure that you understand that I never saw you as someone to move on with when I wasnât distracted by him in the first place. Every single time we were together I forgot about him. As cruel as it sounds⊠maybe the first time I had thought about how much better it was and how this was what I was missing, that I knew heâd never be capable of the things I wanted- but being with you was never about him for me.â
Y/N knew she was a flawed individual and it wasnât a secret. It wasnât morally right to most people and she understood that. But this had felt like a natural turn of events for her.
âYouâve been at the forefront of my mind since we first met up at the coffee shop. I always thought you were slightly intimidating and very handsome, very kind- but once I had the go ahead to think of you as more, it never stopped. It only grew.â Her eyes dropped to her mostly finished plate as she took a deeper breath. It felt like an avalanche of words were trying to come out, all the things she had held back coming out now that she felt safe enough to.Â
âI thought at first it really was a favor to him, that you were doing this because you were a good friend. But I⊠Iâd like to think I have good enough senses to know that you enjoyed it too. You paid me more attention than anyone else ever has. From the texting to check in and remembering things I said off hand, to getting me things that are so unique to me and our conversations⊠it blew me away.â Her fingers fiddled with the napkin before she braved his eyes again.Â
âI just wanted to tell you that I⊠I really would like to try. With you. The um, the dominant stuff too, but⊠more? If that's something youâd want.âÂ
âIt is.â There was no hesitation in his answer, knowing she was losing steam in her rant. âItâs what Iâve wanted for a while. I tried very hard to be respectful at first, you knowâŠâ he swallowed, trying to find the words. âI wanted to be respectful because of you. I didnât want to get out of turn. And then⊠I started to care less about it when I saw how little he cared about your relationship himself. I didnât take the favor on directly because he asked me.â This was a revelation, just a bit. âI took it on because I knew you, I knew the⊠I know how it is wanting to try something and feeling like youâve got no options. I also know how dangerous it could be with the wrong hands on you. And I cared for you, back then more so as a friend but I cared and didnât want you to have a bad experience. I wanted it to be safe and pleasure filled and selfishly, I was attracted to you as it was.âÂ
He may have fooled himself into thinking it was for Danny but he knew deep down why he had done it.Â
âI think that you took me by surprise. How well we worked together from day one. It felt like⊠you were made for me. Yâknow?â
âYeah.â She peeped. âI felt the same.â
The small smile on his lips was a reward for her, the table being a good divider for now. If it wasnât there he knew he would be distracted by wanting to touch her. âGood. I was taken back by it and I wanted more nâmore, I got selfish and greedy for a bit. I broke a little, having you in the cafe bathroom. Doinâ that, it was selfish for me. For us. There wasnât anything pre planned and I knew by how you reacted I wasnât exactly alone in the want to do more but I didnât want to make you feel guilty, so I kept it back for a bit.â
It had been so difficult not to beg for me. Ask her to come over during the week when he felt especially lonely. Even just to have her sit in his bed and leave her scent all over the sheets or hear her padding around while he worked. That was the domesticity that he wanted. âItâs been more than sex for me for a while. I know the dynamic is more than that too, but I found myself wanting you around more. Wanting to do more things with you than what we were supposed to do. When we went out the first time together, had me all sort of nervous in the good way and I realized I was getting myself into something that could be really good, or really bad.â His heart had been on the line the whole time.Â
âListen.â Leaning forward, he clasped his hands together again as he had her eyes. âI want tâbe with you too. I want more. I want⊠the fun side where we play and go to the club, all of that. But I want more, too. The dinners and having you in my bed, without fucking. The softer things. I know that in the past you mentioned you had to control everything in your last relationship and I wanted to warn you that mânot like that- I like control in all areas of my life. Itâs one of those things Iâve tried to work on a bit. Not necessarily of you in the traditional sense but⊠I like tâplan the dates. I like to feel needed, donât mind beinâ the one to take care of you as long as you save that softness for me. Jusâ like you loving on me and being that sweet girl that youâve shown me so far, and itâll make me happy.â His hands itched to grab her. âDoes that sound like something you can deal with.â
âIt sounds like itâs perfect.â A shaky laugh left her as she felt slightly like she was dreaming. âI want to know more about how I can give back to you if youâre doing all the controlling but I⊠I really like that idea. I donât mind you being the one to do all those things.â His version was exactly what she wanted.Â
âGood.â The sigh of relief was enough to relax his shoulders. âNow câmon over here. Youâve been far away from me for far too long.â
Y/N scrambled up and rounded the table, a shy smile lighting up her face as she sat in his lap and giggled in surprise as his mouth met hers, eager and languid as his large hand held her hip. She felt safe. Giddy. Warm. She could get used to this.Â
#jarofstyles#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry writing#harry styles imagine#harry drabble#harry styles blurb#harry styles writing#the favor#favorrry#harry fanfic#harry styles au#harry styles fanfictions#harry styles fic#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#harry smut#Harry fluff#Harry angst
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If you feel up for it, wedding headcanons? (like the ceremony, who is attending, do they cry, etc)
Gallagher, Blade, Wriothesley, and Jing Yuan please!
These are rather short but I wanted to write something for this since it's been so long and I need some sweetness in my life :D
Gallagher
I feel like with Gallagher his eyes get misty but he doesn't cry until he sees his to be spouse come towards him but even then it's just a tear or two before he's good.
Anybody close to his spouse is definitely invited and some of his close coworkers are invited if they're free but other than that he'd honestly prefer a private wedding just between him and his to be spouse.
Since Penacony can be easily changed in the dream to suit their needs they can have the wedding venue of their dreams but if his spouse would like something more simple he's not opposed to that at all.
Blade
Doesn't cry but does get misty eyed after he seals things with a kiss.
With his highly wanted criminal status it'd be hard to have a huge wedding with everyone they want invited so his spouse would have to be very choosy on who they invite and if they can be trusted to not you know report him during the wedding to the IPC. So as for guests it'll be a mix of the other Stellaron Hunters(provided they aren't on missions) and trusted individuals from his to be spouses side.
There really is no limit for where they could hold a wedding so long as they make the proper precautions to not get caught. Blade doesn't care much for how the venue is decorated or what sort of wedding his to be spouse would like so that'd be up to them.
Wriothesley
Thinks he's not gonna cry during the ceremony but absolutely does cry especially when he's doing his vows. He has to take a moment to compose himself to even finish them it makes his to be spouse tear up and cry too.
Definitely invites Sigewinne because she's basically his family and perhaps Clorinde and Neuvillette if they aren't too busy as well as anybody his to be spouse wishes.
Doesn't know too much about weddings and can get a bit overwhelmed during the process of planning one but it's definitely one that respects both his and his to be spouses cultures and desires for the wedding. Would even be open to having their wedding in another nation.
Jing Yuan
Another one who doesn't cry much during his wedding but his tears definitely come later when the ceremony is over and done with and he's holding is spouse in his arms as they sleep.
I'd say he has two weddings: one which is public to the masses since it isn't every day an Arbiter General gets married and another more personal private wedding where only close loved ones are invited. Yanqing is definitely invited and so is Fu Xuan but she only shows up briefly deciding to cover for him so nobody bothers him during his wedding day.
If they plan carefully they can manage to have the private wedding anywhere and any way they like. He'd definitely be interested in having a wedding styled to suit his spouses culture since the public wedding would be from his own.
#honkai star rail x reader#jing yuan x reader#blade x reader#genshin impact x reader#gallagher x reader#wriothesley x reader#I typed this with a finger injury so if there be mistakes anywhere I blame that
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Freaky Deaky
Billie Eilish x female reader !
A/n: I got this idea when this song popped up on my Spotify the other day. I hadn't listened to it in soooo long but omg this idea SPRUNG into my brain - this is inspired a bit by the music video so if you haven't seen it go watch it !!! And lastly enjoy đ„°
Summary: she wasn't use to this from you. But on valentines day, you decide to let that side of you show.
Warnings: smut ! Daddy kink yall đ reader is super girly, and many more kinky surprises đ
Tags: @trulyy-yourzz @eilishslut @brat-at-the-disco @chrissv4mp @n0vabug @dollyvuu
Masterlist
"I've been feeling freaky deaky."
"You're on your way to see me."
14th of February. The day of love. Some is passionate, sweet, loving. And some is freaky, which is what tonight was for the both of you. You only got the courage to do this when she asked you to be her valentine. The usual flowers, chocolates and a sign. But, there was a small bag. You look inside to be faced with some lingerie. It was pink. Your favorite color. Not just any pink, a hot pink. The sexy kind of pink. It impelled you to be a bit more confident and open with her. You've had sex, sure. Countless times. But you haven't been dating for long, so ofcourse there were kinks and fantasies neither of you knew about. That changes, tonight.
You had been laying on your bed, the pink fluffy sheets felt great on your skin. You were about to get up and get ready for your night with Billie when you get a text from her.
Billsđ
- "I'll be there in 25 baby."
- "Awesome can't wait ;)âș"
- "Me too mama.đđ"
A smile spreads across your face, rolling over on your bed with a giggle. You adored the way she made you feel, forever giggly. You never really showed that side of yourself from past experiences but she brings a comfort, a safeness no one in your life has ever brought for you before. So, you can be your true selfaround her. You go to your vanity picking out the right makeup, moving onto your hair. You put it up in a cute messy but styled bun. "Cute." You say softly to yourself, messing with a few strands on the sides. Getting up and heading to your closet to pick out this satin pink robe, putting that over the lingerie Billie had gotten you.
The pink lace hugged your body just right, and she was very excited to see you in it. It'd be a lie if she said she wasn't dreaming of how you'd look in it. Shes finally getting to live that dream, and many more. You spray some nice smelling purfume on from Victoria secret, sealing the whole look. Feeling amazing. You hear a knock on the door going to open it, looking at her with a grin. Her eyes wander, going over your tits, sitting pretty in that bra. So perfectly. Your waist, hips. The see-through satin robe hid hardly anything. So she was looking. Loud and proud.
You invite her in, letting your hips sway as you go over to your bed. "The lingerie fits nicely, thank you for getting it for me." You say to her sweetly. So sweetly infact you hear her gulp. "It fits you very. Well." She joins you on the bed. "I got you a little something. Two little somethings." Her head shakes. "I told you I'm fine baby it's ok, I don't need anything." You move to grab it. "Too late. Open open!" You say handing her the pretty bag it comes in. She peeks inside seeing a strap and dildo both pink to match with everything. She looks at you, but you nod your head for her to look at the other thing.
It was these two chunky rings she had been after, you just had to get them for her. "Mama." She says looking at you. "Those were incredibly expensive, I would've gotten them." You just shake your head. "You've been so good to me I really wanted to return the favor." Your eyes were soft and genuine. "God I'm gunna fucking ravish you tonight." She growls, not standing anymore of the distance between the two of you. Her hands reach out, grabbing your face and kissing you with such lust. She slowly pushes you back on the bed hovering over you.
Her hands fiddle with the silky strings on your robe, getting it to come undone and take it off. You go to take the rest off but she stops you. One of her fantasies was to fuck you while you had something sexy like this on. She was adamant on fulfilling that. "Keep it on.." She trails off as if she wasn't done with her sentence. Her hand moves to the bottom of your underwear, snapping back a part near the crotch. You gasp as cool air hits you, biting your lip. You had no idea it had an opening. Your eyes look to her, she's just smirking. "I have things all planned baby, don't you worry." You blush, not that it was noticeable with the amount you dabbed on.
She reaches for the strap, the band being sparkly and pink, the dido being a lighter shade of that. She takes her shirt and pants off, grabbing the harness and then attaching it to herself. You watch Intently, deeply intrigued as she always just had it on whenever the two of you fucked. She notices this, slowing her movements. Almost as if she was giving you a little show. She lines up, observing how noticeably wet you were. Just for her, because of her. She was proud. Her fingers touch the skin of your pussy. Feeling the wetness. She gathers some, bringing it away and straight to her mouth. She moans at the taste, making your breath hitch.
The tip prods at your entrance, causing light moans to fill the room, whimpers. She soaks it up, repeats it in her own brain at how beautiful you sounded. She slowly sinks into you, nearly bottoming out but you grab her bicep. She kisses your head, letting you know she's right there. "Good girl, you got it." Her kisses move to your cheek. "Pretty girl, so good for me." The praise was going straight to your head. Causing your eyes to shut as the pleasure builds up. She begins to move slowly. But even at that pace it provoked your eyes to roll back, biting your candy pink lip once again. Her kisses move down to your neck, sucking hard. Marking you up. Her hands rest beside your head as she speeds up.
You move your head, opening your eyes and looking up in the mirror. Her back muscles flexing. Making your head spin as she hits the perfect spots.
Got the mirror on the ceiling...
You're in the mood to please me...
"Going to break your back." She snarls into your neck, far deep into her lust. Adoring how you'd arch into her thrusts. You moan into her ear. "P-please." She chuckles. "You want that? Want me to break your back?" You didn't even know this yet as she hadn't told you but it slips out past your lips. "Yes daddy, fuck!" Her eyes grow darker, needing to make sure she heard you correctly. "Say that again?" Then you panic, did she not like it? "I- uhm-" Her gentle hand makes contact with your jaw. "What'd you call me?" Her hips snap harshly, making your eyes yet again roll back. "Daddy!" You moan, loudly. "Fuck." She breathes. That was the thing she'd touch herself thinking about. And to actually hear it.
From the rightful source made her want to cum right then and there. "You drive me insane baby." Her tongue runs along your neck, feeling goosebumps rise on your skin. You shiver
I get so infatuated and erotic with you.
Her thrusts become relentless making it impossible for you to hold on. "Mmm, please. I'm so close." She doesn't falter. "Yeah? Go on then, want a reminder of tonight. Never going to wash this one. Wanna keep it locked away for safe keeping." She was truly feral for you and it sent you off the rails. "Bills fuck!" You screech as you cum hard all over her, feeling your legs shake. Just from seeing that, hearing and feeling everything. It makes her close. The fact she could make you feel such pleasure makes her feel powerful. Wanting to protect you. She grunts feeling the base hit her perfectly. "Fuck you have no idea what you do to me."
She says, listening carefully to your moans. And within seconds she's now cumming, it leaking out, slightly onto you aswel. Your breaths were heavy together, calming down from such an intense round of pleasure.
Abd that was just the first of many. Many rounds that night.
#billie eilish#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x you#billie elish icons#billie ellish lyrics#billie eilish imagine#billie#billie eilish smut#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish fandom#billie eilish x reader smut#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x female reader#billie eilish oneshot
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@zepskies
I'm still a little bit scared of a/b/o (LOL đ€Ł), but I am really excited to read this fic, because I LOVE fated mates/soulmates, and I'm also getting a little bit of forced proximity and grumpy/sunshine and I LIVE AND BREATHE GRUMPY/SUNSHINE đđ
Alpha. Your body instinctively recognizes his presence, as heâs suddenly there, hovering close above you with a divot between his brows and a frown marring his face, where thick stubble threatens to become a beard. Stern, dark brows are furrowed over his concerned eyes. His plush frown is framed by a stubborn-looking chin. Your gaze wearily travels over his handsome features, his short brown hair, the flickers of firelight that splash across the side of his face.
The physical description of Dean is SO good. The use of "stern" and "stubborn" as descriptors fits well for Dean.
The sooner he gets you medical attention and back to your life, the sooner he can get back to hisâeven though the thought of leaving you in anyone elseâs hands almost stirs a growl in his throat.
Oh suuuurrrreeee keep telling yourself that Dean.
âWhich means no one can come up here and get you,â he continues, âand even when this storm breaks, I canât carry you all the way down the mountain back to civilization. Not with the snow as deep as itâs gonna get. NowâŠmaybe I can go down by myself and bring help back with me.â
So what you're saying is... she's trapped in a cabin, she's got a broken ankle, in the middle of a snowstorm with no way out and no communications, with a ruggedly hot mountain man with gorgeous green eyes, a gruff exterior, and a mysterious past... Signđđ» Međđ» Up
Not to say that all alpha's are assholes, but you've had far too many experiences with the stereotype: arrogant, entitled, and handsy. Can't forget handsy.Â
So ready for Dean to just obliterate all her other experiences with total jerks.
You were having a nightmare, reliving your fall, if he had to guess. You came out of it pretty quick when he carefully grabbed your shoulder. Every instinct in his body told him to gather you into his arms and cover you with his own scent and protective embrace to calm you down.Â
I live for the after a nightmare comfort trope (if it is a trope? đ§) and I am SO happy you put this in. Oh my goodness it was so sweet of him to come check on her, and for you to give us a little bit of insight inside of Dean's POV during those moments where she was terrified. This part stuck out to me, because the man is already hook, line, and sinker. He literally tried to go to a cabin in the middle of the woods to get away from it all, but fate really has an odd way of catching up to you. Can't exactly run from it Dean.
âOh really?â You brighten with that scrap of information. âMy older sister lives in Topeka. She moved there for a job, initially, but then she met her guy. Heâs some kind of day trader. Which is just code for sits on his ass playing Call of Duty while she busts hers.âÂ
OOooooooOOOooooo shots fired. SHOTS FIRED... But did she stutter??
âTheyâre mated. Just havenât gotten around to the whole getting hitched thing,â he explains. âBut theyâre happy. Dean Jr.âs growing up fast, already running full speed into glass doors.â
I'm losing it over the fact that Sam named his son DEAN Jr. đđ„° And also the bit about "running full speed into glass doors" is making me cackle lol.
âItâs full of pretentious douchebags, thatâs what,â he says, his voice a dry whip. âWaxed up to the fucking eyeballs, smelling like Botox, Adderall, and sweaty desperation.â
This line is so Dean, it's PERFECT, and I really love that it was what made the reader try to snort her diet Pepsi.
And I just want to say thank you for giving Dean the kinda "homemaker" role in this fic. The fact that he's making food for the reader (I'm obsessed with men who can cook) and taking care of her is just:
There's a lifetime of blood, nightmares, and death that he just can't let you see behind his eyes. Hell, he's been trying to shove it all down for the past yearâin booze and odd jobs and trips to nowhere, always coming back to an empty bunker. He still wonders how Sam's managed to do it, to move on, and build a new life for himself. If Dean's honest (and he's not), he feels a bit like this cabin; old, falling apart, and forgotten.
Oh no Dean, you're not like the Cabin in that way. The cabin is made of strong aged wood that keeps out the chill and is full of warmth! The cabin withstands the elements and doesn't fall no matter how hard the howling wind blows! Dang it, I have way too many emotions over that line. Alex, why did you have to do this to me đ It's SO GOOD!!
He never thought this would happen to him. He never thought someone like you was out thereâŠfor someone like him. He knows it though, deep in his gut. Youâre meant for him. Youâre meant to be his mate. Which means heâs already screwed.Â
I also really like that he doesn't want to admit it and that he didn't believe anyone was out there for him. It seems very Dean for him to be in his head A LOT and being a little self-deprecating. And I'm not sure if you were trying to say that the reader was also a little skeptical about the true mates and if it is a real thing that happens, but I can't wait for part 2 to see if they actually admit it to each other or if they try to keep it a secret as long as they can! Also the song choice perfectly fits the vibes in this fic đđ»
My lovely friend, this was so good and I can't wait for part 2!!!
Against the Wind - Part 1
Pairing:Â Alpha!Dean Winchester x F. Omega!ReaderÂ
Summary: You wake up in a strange alphaâs cabin in the middle of a snowstorm, all with a busted ankle. He holds shadows in his eyes, even though his hands are gentle. There are iron shutters around his heart, even though he saved you. You might just save him in return.
AN:Â This is a canon ending-divergent AU, but still an Omegaverse story within the canon world. It also fulfills a bingo square for @jacklesversebingo!
Jacklesverse Bingo24 Prompt: True Mates
Song Inspo:Â âAgainst the Windâ by Bob Seger
Word Count: 5.5K
Tags/Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, scenting, injuries, hints of angst, fluff and feels.Â
Series Masterlist || Bingo Masterlist
Part 1: In His Hands
Your body is mostly numb when he pulls you out of the snow.
You utter a sharp cry when something in your side twinges, waking up your entire body like a white-hot shiv. Your ankle begins to throb as well.
âHold on. Iâve got you.â
You only half hear the voice, a deep, coarse rumble. His form is broad and dark and blurry, but his male scent is the only thing you register with perfect clarity.Â
Alpha.Â
A small treble of alarm runs through you. Itâs an instinct youâve had to learn, as an omega traveling alone in rural Montana. However, something else disrupts that anxiety.
Itâs his scent. His scent is like the crackle and smoke of a warm hearth.Â
Safe. Your body is heavy and stiff and doesnât respond to your commands, and yet, you feel a measure of calm when he maneuvers you into his arms. Itâs a baser instinct, rooted deep in your chest. He begins to carry you down the slope of the mountain, and your vision blurs whiteâŠ
Like the flurry of snow falling heavy on his jacket. Â
You wake up freezing and shivering in pain. A sensation of small sharp needles begins to travel all across your skin. Slowly, as you're able to blink, your view of the dark wood cabin clears and focuses. You realize that youâre bundled in blankets, and laying on a chaise in front of a large fireplace. Still, youâre too cold. A keening whimper escapes you as you try to burrow in.
Alpha. Your body instinctively recognizes his presence, as heâs suddenly there, hovering close above you with a divot between his brows and a frown marring his face, where thick stubble threatens to become a beard. Stern, dark brows are furrowed over his concerned eyes. His plush frown is framed by a stubborn-looking chin. Your gaze wearily travels over his handsome features, his short brown hair, the flickers of firelight that splash across the side of his face.
He places a warm, calloused hand on your forehead, and he mutters a curse. Your body trembles further with cold. You part your lips, but you can't yet force your voice to escape them.
Again, he quite literally takes the problem into his own hands. He peels away the thick blankets just to slide himself in behind you. His arms wrap around your waist, and you feel their tempered strength when they cage you in against him. You manage to turn your head and rest your cheek against his chest, covered by red plaid. Thank you...
Almost on reflex, you breathe in his scent deeply. The earthiness of it calms you, warms you from the inside. Your shivering eventually calms and turns to purring in your chest.Â
âWhatâs your name, Omega?â he asks. His voice is deep and gruff, and it threatens to make you shiver for a different reason as the timbre of it washes over you.Â
Itâs difficult, but you manage to speak, clearing past your parched throat to give him your name. He nods, as if rolling the sound of it back and forth across his mind.
âWas somebody out there with you?â he asks.
You shake your head, even though the thought elicits a painful twinge in your heart.Â
âWhoâŠâ you try to speak again, even though it hurts a little. âWho are you?â
You feel him take a deep breath. He hesitates, like heâs reluctant to give it to you.Â
âDean,â he says.Â
You roll the name around in your head, over and over. Dean, Dean, DeanâŠ
You smile slightly. âYeah, makes sense.â
âWhat?â he says. You hear the raised brow in his tone.Â
âYou sound like a Dean,â you say, perhaps a little delirious.Â
Anyway, thatâs when your eyes close on you again. You fall back into the warm lull of sleep, to the sound of a crackling fire, and a feeling that permeates throughout your body.
Safe.
Canât fucking believe this, Dean thinks, as he holds you. Just when he thought his life was done throwing him curveballs.
He tips his head back against the sofa cushion with a tired exhale. It would just be his luck to find a stray omega wandering his stretch of Big Sky. Montana can be gnarly in the winter, but for the past couple of years, Dean has learned to survive here in this rental cabin for a couple of months at a time, when wandering an empty bunker gets to be too much. At least here the quietâs peaceful, if still a little unnerving sometimes.Â
He glances down at you. Now that youâre warm and sleeping again, he should find something to wrap your ankle and ice it down. Itâs swollen, and he wants to take an inventory of your other injuries, so he can determine how to get you back down the mountain and through the woods, back to civilization.
The sooner he gets you medical attention and back to your life, the sooner he can get back to hisâeven though the thought of leaving you in anyone elseâs hands almost stirs a growl in his throat.
And that last part unnerves him, makes him anxious. He begins to untangle himself from you, but his movements falter when your sweet scent filters through his nose again. Cinnamon apples, with a hint of something floral.Â
Fuck me.
Itâs almost too sweet to be true, but Dean does his best to ignore itâŠand what that alluring sweetness probably means.Â
Dean leaves you in the morning to revisit the site where you fell. He digs through the snow and manages to find your backpack, filled with your clothes, supplies, and your phone and wallet. He returns just in time.Â
The falling snow becomes even more intense, until it becomes a quiet roar outside. You watch the snowstorm through the impact windows in the kitchen, and you know what this means. Youâre snowed in with a strangerâan alpha, no less.Â
You also have a bum ankle, which he wrapped for you. Doesnât feel broken, heâd said, but it could be fractured, or at the very least sprained. You also likely have a couple of cracked ribs.Â
âWhat were you doing out there, anyway?â he asks, while pouring himself a glass of whiskey. âThis ainât exactly hiking season.â
While you drink some hot chocolate he made you with a bit of whiskey splashed in (for extra warmth), you explain.
âWell, I guess it wasnât my best idea in hindsight,â you say with a weak chuckle. âI was trying to find my way back, and IâŠwell, I was a bit lost.â
He raises his brows wryly, still sipping.
âAnd to make a great situation even better, I thought I heard a wolf howl nearby,â you say. âI know most of them would rather run from us than attack us, but you canât be sure, you know? I had my rifle on me, so I was turning around, trying to pinpoint what direction it was inâŠand of course, my foot slipped on something.â
You fell down that hill. You think you even hit a tree on the way down, which would explain your ribs. Everything gets a bit swirly, cold, and dark in your memory after that.Â
Dean shakes his head. âGotta say, going out there alone wasnât a great idea either, especially now. This time of year, thereâs no telling when a blizzard like this is going to come through.â
He waves haphazardly toward the storm raging outside. Your gaze falls to the mug in your hands. You donât really want to talk about your reasons for taking that risk, but maybe giving him a little honesty will get him off your back.
âMy dad and I used to hike up here every year,â you confess. âA few months agoâŠI lost him. So I guess this was just something I needed to do.â
You blow on your hot chocolate before you take another sip. This time when you glance up, Deanâs judgy expression has evened out into something more sympathetic. He lowers his glass.
âWell, hate to break it to you, but thereâs no cell service up here,â he says.
You give a humorless huff. âBelieve me, I know.â
âWhich means no one can come up here and get you,â he continues, âand even when this storm breaks, I canât carry you all the way down the mountain back to civilization. Not with the snow as deep as itâs gonna get. NowâŠmaybe I can go down by myself and bring help back with me.â
âBut another storm could snow me in,â you realize, with growing apprehension at the thought.
Dean nods. âItâs either I take that chance, leave you by yourself. Or we wait for you to heal up.â
He leaves the choice up to you with a gesture of his hand, the one still wrapped around his glass. You weigh those options with a tilt of your head. On one hand, you don't want to impose on him longer than you had to, but on the other, you really don't want to be left alone in this cabin for God knows how long while he scales the mountain by himself, for your sake.
âI think it would be better if we go down together, right? It can be dangerous, even when the storm breaks,â you reply.
Dean nods slowly, like that was what he was going to suggest too. âAll right. Well, until youâve got two working legs, youâre stuck here with me.â
âI figured as much,â you say. Your head tilts as you consider him. He has a gruff exterior, but all his actions so far have been kind, and far more than youâd expect from a stranger. And an alpha at that.Â
Not to say that all alpha's are assholes, but you've had far too many experiences with the stereotype: arrogant, entitled, and handsy. Can't forget handsy.Â
âThank you for saving me,â you say, meeting his gaze, âand forâŠwell, being a decent guy.â
Deanâs lips twitch. He nearly chuckles. Instead, he sits back on his side of the couch.Â
âYeah, well, thereâs a spare room in this place for you, one bathroom. The kitchen is stocked. Iâm a half-decent cook, if I say so myself, but help yourself.â
He gets up from the couch without preamble, to go to his room, you assume. It leaves you feeling at a loss, like heâs trying to get away from you. You know youâre a guest in his space, so you try to respect the way he wants to be alone for a while. He definitely gives off loner vibes.Â
You look around and find a collection of vinyl records, and smaller collection of books on a shelf next to the fireplace. You find Gulliverâs Travels, Dune, The Odyssey, The Wizard of Ozâbooks you didnât think a guy like Dean would be into.Â
You take up The Wizard of Oz, reclaim your spot on the chaise, and start reading.
That night, your dreams are plagued by the crunch of dead leaves, your father shouting at you to run, and to keep running.
The coarse roar of a bear morphs into something other. Itâs a sharper, whirring sound like wind howling amidst animalistic clicking, and then bones breakingâyour fatherâs scream cut short. Â
You wake with a start, your body both cold and flush at the same time.
Dean is there once again. It confuses you at first, but then it all returns to you in a rushâthe where and the why youâre here, once again with the alpha standing over you in concern. He grasps your shoulder and asks if youâre all right. Your breathing is too erratic for you to answer him, your eyes too wide, your body trembling.
Had you been making noise in your sleep? You blush in embarrassment at the thought. You also feel bad for waking him, and all those things get trapped in your throat.
Seeing that youâre most definitely not fine, he sits on the edge of the bed, squeezes your arm, and reminds you.Â
âItâs okay. Youâre safe here,â he tells you. His tone is deep and even, reassuring.
You meet his steady gaze and manage to nod, trying to catch your breath.Â
âIâm okay,â you say, with a shaky nod. He gives you a measuring look, both a question and a confirmation. You give it to him with a firmer nod. âThanks, IâŠIâm sorry I woke you up.â
He exhales through his nose, accepting. ââS all right. Donât worry about it.âÂ
You feel the loss of his touch when his hand eventually slip away from your shoulder. As soon as he came into your room, heâs gone.Â
Dean leaves swiftly, trying to brush off how the scent of your fear had tugged sharply at his gut even in his sleep. It not only woke him up, but compelled him to kick his blankets off and get out of bed to go to you. Â
You were having a nightmare, reliving your fall, if he had to guess. You came out of it pretty quick when he carefully grabbed your shoulder. Every instinct in his body told him to gather you into his arms and cover you with his own scent and protective embrace to calm you down.Â
Through sheer willpower, he managed to ignore every single one of those instincts. Â
Two days pass, in which you and Dean say very little to one another, besides when he asks you what you want to eat, and how youâre feeling. The alpha seems genuine, but guarded any time you ask him about him;Â anything thatâll give you a clue into who this guy is, and why heâs here.Â
You try again to strike up some kind of conversation over dinner one night.Â
âDo you live here year-round?â you ask, around a mouthful of burger thatâs absolutely delicious. He wasnât lying when he claimed to be a good cook. He even made the fries himself.
âNo,â he replies. âNo Netflix, no internet? Think Iâd die of boredom. I just come up here to uhâŠtake a beat, I guess.âÂ
You smile. âI donât blame you. Sometimes you just need a break,â you say, even though your tone is heavier than you meant it to be. Your gaze, a bit distant in that moment, sharpens and focuses back on Dean. âWhere are you from, then?â
âKansas,â he offers.
âOh really?â You brighten with that scrap of information. âMy older sister lives in Topeka. She moved there for a job, initially, but then she met her guy. Heâs some kind of day trader. Which is just code for sits on his ass playing Call of Duty while she busts hers.âÂ
Dean huffs, then crams more burger into his mouth. He hasnât been giving you a lot to go on while you two have been talking. Unfortunately, you have the tendency to ramble and fill the silence before it becomes even more stifled.Â
âShe works at a bank. Smart, driven, always knows what she wants. Meanwhile, Iâve had about seven jobs in the last three years, none of which were even remotely related to my almost useless degree in Communications.â
âYeah, doubt you need a degree in communicating,â Dean remarks, popping another fry into his mouth.
 You purse your lips at him, but the glint of teasing in his eyes makes you fight not to smile.Â
âAll right, smart guy. So, what about you?â you ask.
Predictably, the manâs walls firm back up. âWhat about me?â
âWellâŠwhyâre you up here alone? Do you have family?â you ask.
Dean quirks a half smile. âIâve got a brother.â
âOkay. Younger, Iâm guessing?â
He tilts his head at you, a bit amused at your guess. âWhyâs that?â
âI donât know,â you shrug. âI canât imagine you with a brother whoâs older than you.â
His lips twitch. âYou callinâ me old, sweetheart?â
You begin to blush with embarrassment. But also, sweetheart?
You shake your head. âNo, thatâs not what I meant. I just mean likeâŠâ
Dean saves you with the return of his smile.
âYeah, heâs younger,â he says. âBut heâs the one with the quasi-wife and the apple pie life.âÂ
âQuasi-wife?â
âTheyâre mated. Just havenât gotten around to the whole getting hitched thing,â he explains. âBut theyâre happy. Dean Jr.âs growing up fast, already running full speed into glass doors.â
His smile is genuine when he talks about his brother, just tinged with a bit of melancholy, you think.Â
âDean Jr.?â you ask in amusement. Dean Sr. laughs a little, and you enjoy the sound, the way it lightens up his face and pulls at the corners of his eyes.
âYeah, canât say I wasnât surprised myself to get that honor, butâŠhey, it works for the kid. Heâs got my chin,â he remarks.
He digs into his pocket to show you a picture from his cell phone. Even though it doesnât have service, you can still view the many pictures of the adorable infant in his camera roll, courtesy of Sam and his mate, Eileen. You coo at the chubby cheeks, the bright little eyes, and the swirled tuft of dark hair on his head.
âWhere do they live?â you ask.
âOut west, a stoneâs throw from the City of Angels.â Deanâs smile dims. âHe just had to go back to California.â
âWhatâs wrong with California?â you ask.
âItâs full of pretentious douchebags, thatâs what,â he says, his voice a dry whip. âWaxed up to the fucking eyeballs, smelling like Botox, Adderall, and sweaty desperation.â
You splutter laughing so bad that your diet coke escapes you in a spit take. It partially goes up into your nose, burning, stinging your eyes, but itâs made worse by the way Dean waves a hand up incredulously. Youâve just gotten half his sleeve wet.
He meets your gaze, and you canât help but laugh even harder.Â
âWow,â he says.Â
âGod, Iâm sorry,â you say, still giggling. You get up, hobble over to the kitchen counter, and rip off a paper towel to try and pat his arm dry. He takes it from you and helps you back into your seat.
âI got it, Spit Take. Just finish your food,â he says, if with a dancing gleam in his eyes. Â
From then on, it becomes easier for you to pull the alpha into conversation. Besides reading, napping, and staring out the window while it snows, you donât have much by way of entertainment. Not to mention the pain of trying to get around without crutches, as it also jostles your ribs. Dean often has to help you from one room to another, which of course, you get embarrassed by.
âIâm sorry!â you yelp, when he saves you from another crash landing in the hallway. Youâre fresh out of a shower, and it had taken you twenty minutes just to figure out how to wash your hair on one leg, let alone dry yourself off and get your shirt and borrowed sweatpants on. The main problem in getting back to your room happened to be the pants themselves. Their length and bagginess made you slip.
At least Deanâs learned to ignore your apologies. He now holds you by the waist, having pulled you against his chest on reflex. With furrowed brows, he notices your pained hiss when you grab onto his arms for balance.
âYou okay?â he asks with a note of alarm.
âRibs,â you gasp. Theyâre throbbing sharply with his hold, especially after being rattled by the near fall.
He immediately adjusts his hold lower, holding your arm and hip to support you. His hands are strong, but gentle. The warmth and pressure of his touch rattles you more than almost falling into a heap. ClichĂ© as it might be, your heart is beating faster, what seems like in and out of rhythm. A feeling you canât name stirs and tugs at your lower belly when you hazard looking up into his eyes. Theyâre a nice shade of green, like a forest floor in the spring.
âYou just go ass over tea kettle at any moment, huh?â he quips, his lips tugging upward. âCome on. Where were you headed?â
âTo my room, wise guy,â you say wryly, even as your blush heats your face and neck. âBut this is a great taxi service.â
He snorts. âYeah, call it the Winchestermobile.â
âWinchester. That your last name? Like the rifle?â you ask, while he helps you carefully down the hall. He nods in confirmation.
âThatâs interesting. You donât meet many Winchesters,â you remark.
âYeah, well, ainât that many left,â he mutters.
âWhat?â
âNothing,â he shakes his head, easing you down onto the edge of the bed. His hands go to his hips as he scrutinizes your form for further injury. âYou good? I was about to get cracking on some lunch.â
You offer him a grateful smile. âYeah, Iâm good. Whatâs on the menu?â
âNothing fancy. Iâm thinking grilled cheese. Maybe some tomato soup, assuming I can find a can in the pantry,â he says.
âHonestly, that sounds awesome,â you say. âHavenât had a grilled sinceâŠGod, probably since I was a kid.â
At that, Dean smiles. âWell, I happen to make an awesome one. No less than three kinds of cheese.â
âIf theyâre as good as your burgers, then I donât doubt it,â you reply. He seems pleased at that, and maybe a little bashful as his gaze falls away.
Cute, you think. Your smile grows.
âAll right, well, stay tuned,â he says. He winks, tossing you a âgun for handâ gesture that makes you laugh. Dean wears a rugged exterior as easily as his winter jacket, but heâs also kind of a dork.
After lunch (delicious, as you predicted), you take the afternoon just to sort through Deanâs records and alphabetize them for him. You hunker down on the floor in front of the shelf, close to the record player.Â
âI donât need all that. I know where all my stuff isâŠmore or less,â he says, with a lazy wave of the beer he has in hand.Â
âOh really?â you raise a brow. âOkay, letâs test that theory. Whereâs Boston.âÂ
âRight next to the White Album, there on the left.â
Sure enough, you find Boston, as well as the White Album by the Beatles. Â
âOh my God, you actually have the White Album?â You open up the double-sided case in excitement to read the list of songs printed on the inside. âThis thing is so expensive.âÂ
âBeatles fan, huh?â Dean says as he takes a seat on the couch. You turn your smile on him, and he stills in his seat.
âUh, yeah. Who isnât?â you say.
Dean shrugs with a smile of his own. âPut it on if you want.â
You bounce a little with excitement before you figure out how to turn on his record player. You put the vinyl album on Side B, moving the needle until you find âBlackbird.â
âOf course,â Dean says, slightly teasing. You turn to him with crunched brows. Â
âWhat? âBlackbirdâsâ a classic.â
âEh. Everyone likes âBlackbird.ââ
âThatâs what a classic means,â you argue.
âMore like a mainstream copout,â he says. You think itâs just to needle you, but you still purse your lips.Â
âFine, Mr. Music Snob. Then whatâs your favorite?â
âOn the White Album?â
âAny Beatles song.â
ââHey, Jude,ââ he says, after a moment. Thereâs some kind of weight in his eyes, a note of melancholy. You donât miss it, even though you donât know why itâs there.
âEveryone likes âHey, Jude,ââ you quip, trying to lighten him.Â
He smiles a little. âYeah. Fair enough.â
Finally, the snowstorm breaks. Dean ventures outside and brings you back a long, sturdy stick to lean your weight on when you want to move around, though he claims heâs working on a better solution. Now that the snow has let up, heâll be able to go out to the shed and do some work.Â
Whatever that means, you think.
You watch him from the living room when he goes outside to chop some more firewood.Â
He should really wear a hat. His brown hair is getting dusted white with snow flurries as he continues to swing down the ax. You notice the power in his tall frame, even covered by layers of his jacket, pants, and boots. You almost feel each chop of the wood resonate in your chest.Â
Heat rises in your cheeks when he looks up, as if he senses heâs being watched. You bow your head and pretend to read your book.
His boots continue to crunch in the snow as he makes trips back and forth from the surrounding forest. Aside from the firewood, he brings back a few long, thinner logs that he takes to the shed. Soon you begin to hear the steady back-and-forth cutting of a saw. You wish you could go out there and take a look, but you canât even get around the house that easily, let alone venture outside.
Your curiosity about this man knows no bounds, and you decide to use the walking stick he found for you in the meantime to get around without putting pressure on your injured ankle. You know itâs wrong, but you end up traversing the long, dark hallway, pushing open the door to the right, and venturing into Deanâs room.Â
It smells like him, earthy and tinged with smoke. His scent is seeped into every part of itâthe bed, the dresser and nightstands, the dark blue bedsheets, the desk and chair, and even the drapes. It makes you almost lightheaded at the pleasurable feeling of it washing over you.
A shudder suddenly runs down your spine and tugs at your core in arousal. With a sharp intake of breath, you have to shift on your feet, pressing your legs together against the slick already forming down below.
Youâre shocked and embarrassed at first. You aim to bolt out of his room, but you stop short in the doorway as it dawns on you.
Your sister is a beta, and so is her husband. Sheâs never completely understood you as an omega. She never understood your parents either, or the bond they had. She always scoffed at the idea of âtrue mates.â
Soulmates. It was fantasy and myth, the stuff of cheesy Harlequin novels.
Growing up, youâd agreed with her, even though a part of you deep down always protested. It wanted to tell her not to open her mouth about something she knew nothing about, and would never know.Â
The day you met Dean, you knew she was wrong.Â
Your more logical mind tries again to reassert itself though. You remind yourself that you barely know anything about this man, no matter how attractive, kind, funny, enigmaticâŠÂ
And yet, you canât shake that part of you that doesnât rest until you see his face in the morning; until you make him coffee and eat breakfast together, and take any opportunity to pull more threads from him. Itâs more than passing attraction. Itâs more than just being stuck together in this cabin, unable to escape each other. You know, because the feeling scares you, and it electrifies your blood at the same time.
All these thoughts go through your mind when you turn back around. Slowly, you continue to look around his room, your whole body tingling. The room is neat, more or less, with everything in its proper place. Itâs pretty bare though, dĂ©cor wise. Thereâs a desk with a few scattered books and a journal sandwiched in between. A smile of surprise forms across your face.
No. Donât tell me this guy is Mr. Dear Diary? you think in amusement. Though you wonder if itâs another way he passes his time here, especially when heâs holed up in his room.
You know you shouldnât be snooping, let alone contemplating what youâre about to doâŠbut you canât help yourself. Biting your lip, you slide out the journal and begin to flip through it.Â
You frown at the strange drawings and odd entriesâdates, narratives, scraps of information on different types of mythological creatures, and even more strange, on how to kill them.Â
What the hell is this?
Thatâs when you hear the front door swing open. You bolt from his room as quick as you can, not realizing you took the journal with you in your haste. You stuff it up your sweater and pretend like youâve just come out of the bathroom on the way back to your room. There you slide the journal under your pillow. You jump when Dean knocks on your door.
âHey,â he greets.
The jolting pains your ribs, and your hand goes to your left side in a hiss.Â
âYou okay?â he asks, brows furrowing in concern. He takes a step into your room, but you turn to him with a nod and a placating hand.
âYeah, Iâm fine. You just scared me,â you say, with a bit of nervous laughter.
He gives a half smile. âSorry. Just come âere a sec. I wanna show you something.â
He reaches out a hand to help guide you to the living room.
There he presents you with two rudimentary crutches. Your eyes widen as your free hand passes over the smooth chestnut color of the wood. Dean keeps a light hold on your elbow, just in case.
âYou made these?â you ask.
âYeah, just a bit of woodworking. Picked it up over the last couple of years,â he says.
Heâs downplaying it, but youâre nothing short of marveling. You set aside the walking stick in favor of picking up the crutches, and theyâre even the right size to position them under your arms.
âNow you donât have to hobble around like Long John Silver,â Dean quips. You meet the sight of his grin with a raised brow, but you soon begin to smile. When you get close enough to him, you lean the crutches against the couch and give him a warm hug, resting your head on his chest.
âThank you,â you say. Itâs something he was wholly unprepared for, but he hugs you back with a chuckle.
âUh, youâre welcome.â
Just then, he tries not to inhale your scent. He tries not to focus on the feeling of your body pressed soft and warm against his. You fit just right.Â
After a beat, you have mercy on him and pull away. You take your crutches back up and continue to walk around the living room experimentally.Â
âYou think Iâd be okay trying to go outside?â you ask on your way to the door. Dean tenses.
âUh, I donât thinkââ
But youâre already halfway out the door. He shakes his head and follows you with swift strides. He watches you step out carefully onto the porch like a baby deer. He cleared the snow this morning from the deck and the steps, but heâs more concerned when he sees you considering how you might step out onto the snow.
âStay on the porch, all right, Bambi,â he warns. âYouâre not wearing snow boots and itâs still pretty deep. Not to mention, Iâve been keeping an eye out for a bear that wandered through here last weekââ
You turn to look at him over your shoulder in amusement.
âOkay, Alpha. Calm down,â you say playfully. âIâm not gonna go ass over tea kettle.â Â
His brow twitches as he frowns. Alpha. He fights not to show his reaction to the way you said it; it calls to his baser instincts, almost stirring a rumble in his chest.
Cheeky little omega.
You keep to the porch, but regardless, youâre happy. You donât even mind the cold. You see your breath on the air, and you tip your head back, closing your eyes with a smile as the sunshine warms your face. You inhale through your nose and let it out slowly in contentment.Â
âItâs a good day, Dean,â you say quietly.Â
You donât realize that heâs watching you with a more reserved smile on his face. When he realizes it, he shakes his head at himself. Heâs only been here a week with you, and itâll probably take a couple more for your ankle to heal up well enough for you to walk again, let alone get down the mountain.Â
He doesnât want to leave you alone up here, so heâll have to somehow keep fending off your probing questions into his past and personal life. There's a lifetime of blood, nightmares, and death that he just can't let you see behind his eyes.
Hell, he's been trying to shove it all down for the past yearâin booze and odd jobs and trips to nowhere, always coming back to an empty bunker. He still wonders how Sam's managed to do it, to move on, and build a new life for himself.
If Dean's honest (and he's not), he feels a bit like this cabin; old, falling apart, and forgotten.
But heâll have to keep taking in your brightness and warmth, continue arguing with you about music and other inane shit, and pretend that every small touch of yours doesnât ignite his skin. That it doesnât make him have to beat down every instinct he has to pull you into his body and blanket you with his scent, ravage you, claim you, and make you his.Â
He never thought this would happen to him. He never thought someone like you was out thereâŠfor someone like him.
He knows it though, deep in his gut. Youâre meant for him. Youâre meant to be his mate.
Which means heâs already screwed.Â
AN:Â And we're off! Special thanks again to Michelle (@luci-in-trenchcoats) for being my sounding board when I was first writing this series. Let me know what you think of Part 1! đ
Next Time:
I buried my wife today. Even as I write that down, I donât believe it. Last week we were a normal familyâŠeating dinner, going to Deanâs T-ball game, buying toys for baby Sammy. But in an instant, it all changedâŠ
When I try to think back, get it all straight in my headâŠI feel like Iâm going crazy. Like someone ripped both my arms off, plucked my eyes out. Iâm wandering around, alone and lost and I canât do anything.
This is Deanâs father, you realize. The more that you read, with no small amount of dismay, you also realize that this man is writing about his wife, Mary.
Deanâs momâŠ
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I just wanted to say, I've been thinking all about your piece about the stages of unmasking and autism acceptance. (Your writing has been so helpful for me and my partner as we've been figuring out how they can unmask and live fully and authentically!!)
But I kept coming back to the bit about grief, and loss about the confusion after figuring out youre autistic. For my partner, I was SO HAPPY when they got their diagnosis and it was a huge step forward for us, but also it was scary because I was like wait... Did I fall in love with your mask? Who are you actually??
And the answer is, yes, I fell in love with the mask. I fell in love with the performance of themselves that they showed the world that then turned out to be too exhausting for them to maintain in a close relationship. But the cool thing was, the actual person who stood up for themselves and set limits and was getting to know themselves truly and actually? That person is fucking awesome and I adore them.
Anyways. Thanks for everything you do. Thank you for showing me and so many others how to live joyfully and authentically and in true relationship.
oh my god that's so sweet, thanks for sharing anon.
I think many of us believe ourselves to be masking far more comprehensively & effectively than we actually are. It's part of why we still feel so completely alienated from people ; others can sense that we are keeping the world at a distance, and it prevents them from bonding as fully to us. And the flip side of that is also often true -- we may fear that if we stop masking our loved ones will abandon us, because they will hate the person we really deep down. But throughout our time with them, there have been key "tells" of who we really are, little leakages of the sides of us that we fear showing so desperately, but which our loved ones caught wind of, and actually found to be some of the most lovable parts of us all along.
The people who only love our masks are, typically, the people who would like us to remain featureless and compliant. But the people who really love us already love what is behind the mask -- and they might see that version of us better than we do ourselves.
I'm glad things worked out well for you and your partner.
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