#some of the stuff written here has been....mostly done for a while

[fandomsandfairytales]

OooooOOOOOOO this is fascinating! So much ANGST.

I was not directly tagged but I count as someone who wants to join 😉

Possible spoilers for the next chapter of "but for the look in his eyes" under the cut, for anyone who sees this post who cares. (Probably no one, but just in case XD)

It all clicks together for Tyelpë. 

Mairon had looked vaguely familiar to him, as many Ainur did, for they often wandered throughout the elven communities and cities of Aman. But now, he could put a name to the face in his memories from the handful of times he had walked through Aulë’s forges with his father.

Mairon had been a Maia of Aulë.

Since he had defected to Morgoth, the Noldor had begun to call him Þauron, but Tyelpë hadn’t connected the whispers at the parley with this Maia.

And although Tyelpë could recognize him now, Mairon looked somewhat different than he remembered. Maybe it was because it was so long ago that Tyelpë had seen him, or maybe it had something to do with joining the Enemy, but Tyelpë felt sure that he would have remembered those piercing golden eyes. [something about a restless aura]

Wasn’t he one of Morgoth’s higher-ranking servants? Tyelpë wishes he’d paid more attention to discussion in camp of the Enemy’s forces and followers.

Anyone who wants to join in, feel free!

WIP Whatever Day

Thank you @queerofthedagger for tagging me! Here's a (very rough) snippet of an untitled one-shot that came out of nowhere and has been rattling around in my head the past few days:

“Invitation?” This is the first Maedhros has heard of it.

“You were…away,” says Maglor, guilt coloring his words. Away, Maedhros knows, means that he had gone deep inside his mind, deaf and blind to the world around him. “Right after Thangorodrim fell. I did not want to disturb you.”

“Show it to me,” Maedhros demands. 

Maglor does. A small letter, their uncle’s neat handwriting across it. Eönwë wishes to speak with you, it says. To offer peace and a way forward. Come to our camp, nephew. Please. 

“Peace,” snarls Maedhros, “does not mean a Silmaril.” He’s heard such a foul promise before. 

“It could,” Maglor insists. 

“You were going to go by yourself?”

“Yes. Just - just in case.”

In case it was a trap. In case the whole camp of grieving, angry elves turned their swords on the remaining Sons of Fëanor. In case Eönwë’s judgment was cruel instead of benevolent. 

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Nelyo - ”

Maedhros can see it. The iron around his brother’s wrists, the gag shoved into his mouth. He can see his brother forced to kneel, stripped and beaten in the bottom of a ship - so similar to the mines beneath the mountain, dark and stinking with very little air to breathe - then thrown at the Valar’s feet. No mercy, not for kinslayers like them. 

They do not deserve it. Maedhros knows that. But - but - 

But just because such harsh judgment is deserved does not mean he will allow Maglor to be put through it. 

“No,” Maedhros says again, and he grabs Maglor’s hand. Hard. “You will not go and parlay with them.”

You will not go and face danger in my place, he thinks.

You will not be punished for our sins, no matter how great the evil it is we have done.

You will not leave me.

Tagging: @lordgrimwing @dreamingthroughthenoise @camille-lachenille @echo-bleu @tethysresort @tathrin and anyone else who wants to join in. No pressure, of course!

[lovelybucky1]

Oooohh i have a request!:

Playing “never have i ever” or something like that with logan and wade (maybe along the lines of a boring friday night with nothing else to do) and you admit to never having an orgasm by anyone but yourself

Flash forward you’re in logan’s arms and wade is eating the fuck out of your pussy, and then they switch 👀👀

i’ve written something similar two the second part here, but i love the never have i ever idea! // divider from @strangergraphics

boredom isn’t something heroes are used to. there’s always something happening somewhere, someone needing to be saved. but tonight, everything is quiet. the three of you were suspicious at first, but you checked every police scanner, news outlet, and all of your contacts and came up with nothing. the bad guys had decided to take an evening off, and now you were stuck with nothing to do.

you, wade, and logan all sit around in the living room with bottles of beer. you and wade stare at the mindless gameshow on tv while logan rests his eyes. you’re definitely bored, but wade is restless. it’s like he’s itching for something to do, like his body is physically unable to handle the inactivity.

“why don’t we play a game?” wade asks, startling logan awake.

the two of you look over at wade. “what kind of game?” you ask.

“i don’t know, ‘never have i ever?’”

logan rolls his eyes, then shuts them again. he’ll deny any “old man” comments, but he really is one. you elbow logan in the side and he opens them again.

“come on, it’ll be fun,” wade pleads.

“it’s not like we have anything better to do,” you say to logan. reluctantly, he agrees.

you reposition yourselves in the living room. you sit on the couch, leaned against the arm with your feet in logan’s lap, who sits on the other end. wade sits on the floor by the coffee table, his beer on the table without a coaster next to him.

“this is your game, wilson. you start,” logan says before taking a sip of his beer.

“no, don’t drink! you only drink if you’ve done the thing i say,” wade scoffs. how can logan be so old and still know nothing about fun? “okay, okay. never have i ever… gotten arrested.”

you furrow your eyebrows at him while logan takes a drink. you’re almost certainly wade has been arrested before. “i don’t think you’re playing this game right,” you say. “you have to say things you’ve never done.”

wade scoffs. “i haven’t been arrested, thank you very much. all the cops who’ve tried have mysteriously ended up with broken noses.”

you roll your eyes at him. “my turn now? never have i ever… cheated on a partner.”

both of them take drinks, wade with more shame than logan. ugh, men.

then it’s logan’s turn. “never have i ever worn a dress.”

you figure it’s targeted at you, just because logan’s a dick, but to your surprise, wade drinks too. logan raises his eyebrow at him, silently urging him to elaborate.

“you wish you saw that, huh, peanut?” he taunts instead. logan makes a face at that.

“i’m thankin’ god i didn’t have to.”

you play a couple more rounds, all three of you exchanging stories and sipping from your bottles. it takes a lot to get them drunk, but you’re starting to feel it. there’s a collection of empty bottles, mostly beer, but halfway through the game, wade decided to up the ante with some liquor.

it’s wade’s turn again and he says, “never have i ever been with two guys at once.”

he means it as a joke. he doesn’t expect anyone to drink. there’s no way logan would do something like that, and you’re too innocent. that’s why his eyes practically pop out of his head when you throw back the shot.

the game turned sexual a few rounds ago, but it was pretty mild stuff. talk about doing stuff in public, kinks, freaky shit like that. nothing as interesting as this.

both wade and logan turn their full attention to you, eager to hear this story.

“what?” you play dumb.

“two guys at once?” wade asks. you shrug.

“it wasn’t anything.”

“nah,” logan says, sounding interested for the first time all game. “you gotta tell us.”

you sigh. “it was a while ago. i met this couple at a bar and they said they were looking for a third. i had nothing better to do and they were both hot, so…” you trail off, shrugging again.

“give us the gory details. how’d you do it? daisy chain?eiffel tower? double cowgirl? triple spooning? come on, tell us,” wade rambles.

“you’re a fucking perv,” you tell him and he doesn’t deny it. “it was just normal dp.”

logan raises an eyebow. “that stands for double penetration,” wade tells him.

“i know that. i’m just wondering how you took it all,” logan says.

you’re used to this kind of talk from wade. the man thinks with his dick so much that you question if he even has a brain. you’re not, however, used to this from logan. he’s no prude, but he usually doesn’t participate in these kinds of conversations with wade.

“must’ve been a tight fit,” logan adds on.

you look between the men and their interested faces. you’re still pretty bored, the game having grown stale a while ago, and now you’re a tipsy. you want something exciting and right now, you’re feeling bold enough to persue it.

“do you wanna see?” you ask them.

wade and logan share a glance, but it only takes a second before they’re replying “yes” in unison.

[watchmegetobsessed]

UNMATCHED

A/N: it's been like 6 months since i last posted something and honestly, i haven't even written anything, things are very shitty these days but i felt the motivation to write this quickly after watching 'tell me lies' and 'rivals' these past weeks so here we go! if student-prof type of fics are not your thing then don't read it

WORD COUNT: 2.6k

WARNING: age gap, student-professor relationship

SUMMARY: Harry is very strict about staying away from students as a young and handsome professor, but there is one person he can't get out of his head and a Christmas party brings an unexpected turn.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

Harry hates these type of parties, mostly because he can’t imagine inviting dozens of students into his home, his private space, have the roam around and spend an entire evening with them, talking and pretending like they aren’t just trying to get a better grade at the end of the semester with their too friendly behavior. Or, in his case, some girls try to push the boundaries and flirt with him, hoping to hook up with him. 

He is not stupid. He has heard students whisper about him several times, he notices the heart eyes when he is talking in class and he has gotten several phone numbers on papers since he started his PHD studies and started teaching last year. His friends teased him about being the heartthrob of the faculty, but he didn’t think it would actually happen and to this extent. To avoid any possible scandals, not that he planned to make any, he has put on quite a rigid mask towards the students to scare them off from even trying, though that hasn’t stopped some of them from wanting to shoot their shot. 

He wouldn’t have come to this party, he would rather be home and continue his research that’s still not even close to being done, but Professor Bradford, or Stella as she requests Harry to call her, is the only person he gets along with in the faculty. She is 18 years older than Harry, but still younger than the rest of the old men who have been teaching here since probably before the declaration of independence was signed. Those men are the reason younger people don’t like classic literature anymore, with their outdated ways of teaching and unwillingness to bring something modern into their lectures they are scaring the new generations away. But not Stella. She is one of the reasons Harry went into his PHD and now he gets to work with her. He couldn’t just reject her invitation for her annual Christmas Party she holds for her students and some colleagues. 

Now he is standing by the wall, drinking mulled wine and just gritting his teeth, trying to calculate how early is too early to leave. A couple of girls have already tried to chat him up, they like to circle him, leave him almost no room to escape and then make him talk about school stuff, but then they slyly bring up personal things, hoping to break his usual character, but he sees through them always. 

Harry’s best friend, Niall always teases him that he should just give in and have fun with one of them. His morals are a lot looser than Harry’s, that’s for sure. 

Just as he is about to look for the bathroom, not to use it but to hide for a bit, another group of girls spots him and he can already feel his skin crawling as they approach him from down the hallway. He is quick to assess the situation, but he realizes he has no chance of fleeing before they reach him. 

“Profesor! So good to see you here!” 

And here we go. 

It goes the same, they are extremely nice and inquiring about his plans for the next semester and then suddenly they are talking about summer and Harry knows they are moments away from asking what he’ll be doing once the school year is over. One of the girls is talking about going to Italy on a yacht and the others chime in with their own ridiculously over the top plans while Harry is avoiding to even look at them, his eyes roam around the other guests. 

That’s when he sees her. 

Just down the hall he can peek into the kitchen and there she is, with a boy Harry assumes to be her boyfriend. He’s seen them around campus the past few weeks, he even waited for her after Harry’s class and saw them walk away together as he fought the way his stomach churned every time. 

Since the moment she walked into his class at the beginning of the semester Harry has been feeling like he is losing his mind. Whether it be the way she laughs with her friends before class or focuses with undivided attention as Harry explains something by the board, or says hello every time she passes him in the cafeteria, Harry can’t stop thinking about her for days after even though he knows such feelings should be banned from his mind when it comes to a student. Every time he catches himself thinking about her he wants to throw himself out the window, but he still can’t fight it. There’s something in her that draws him in and swallows him whole and it’s not just the looks. Unlike a lot of students who take his classes for easy credits or to drool after him, she is there to learn as much as she can and she’s had the most brilliant thoughts on certain subjects Harry has ever encountered, making him almost jealous he wasn’t the one to think about them. 

She is… unmatched. And forbidden, but impossible to ignore. She’s been his vice for months.

From where he stands it appears she is having a fight with said boyfriend, her always cheerful expression is now rather upset and confused while the boy seems to be over the conversation, almost irritated by her, dismissed. Harry tries to appear not too obvious about watching them, but he is also way too fixated on her to ignore what’s happening just down the hallway. 

He glances away just for a few seconds, but the next time he looks back he sees the boy stomping away, irritated, while she is left there, pulling on her coat before disappearing through the backdoor, swallowed by the darkness of the unlit back terrace. 

And before Harry could stop himself, he is already moving.

“Excuse me girl,” he mumbles disorientedly as he slips out of the small circle. 

He places his glass to a nearby table and then grabs his own coat from the wardrobe in the hallway before making his way outside. After her. 

The moment he steps out into the cold a short sense of realization washes over him that he definitely shouldn’t be here, that he is crossing a line, but then another voice in his head tunes it out, convincing him that he is just making sure she is okay and there’s nothing wrong with that. 

Stopping by the door his gaze rakes through the terrace, but he doesn’t see her, until she spots her slouched form sitting on the bottom of the stairs leading out to the lawn. He hears her sniffling, but she hasn’t acknowledged his presence yet, if she noticed it at all. There’s a couple of moments of hesitation on his end, he can hear the rational side of him screaming somewhere in the back of his mind, telling him to turn around and just walk back inside, yet he still finds himself moving towards him and then that voice is silenced. 

“Everything alright?” Harry asks from the top of the stairs, but he startles her so much that she jumps to her feet and backs away a few feet. That’s when he sees her tearful eyes and red nose. 

“S-Sorry, I don’t–”

“Hey, it’s all good. You didn’t do anything wrong. Just checking in.”

She squints her eyes at him and that’s when he realizes she must not even see his face since the light is coming right behind him. So he walks down the stairs and then finally his face is lit and realization settles in her eyes. 

“Oh, Professor Styles. Hi.”

“Hello Y/N. Are you okay?” he asks again, to which she just chuckles bitterly. 

He can’t miss that even with tears running down her cheeks and her eyelashes stuck together, she looks so fucking beautiful it baffles him. He has to fight the urge to reach out and touch her tear-soaked cheeks. 

“Um, yeah, everything is… perfect,” she scoffs, reaching into her pockets, probably looking for tissues, but finding none so Harry grabs one from his inner pocket, handing it over to her, her fingers brushing against his for the shortest second as she takes it and then it’s over, but his skin keeps tingling. 

“Thanks,” she mumbles before drying her face as much as she can. “I’m good. Just…” She looks at him and changes her mind. “Ah, wouldn’t want to bore you with my nonsense personal drama.”

“Drama is never boring, have you learned nothing in my class?” he jokes and it actually makes her laugh. 

“This drama is not worthy of being taught in class though.”

“I bet some of the big names thought the same thing upon writing what we read in class these days.”

“So you’re saying I should write about how my boyfriend is fed up with me because I told him something he did hurt me?”

“That sounds like something I bet a lot of people would want to read about,” he smiles and when she mirrors it, he can feel his chest expanding. Somewhere way too deep in his mind an alarm goes off, but it quickly becomes one with the void and all he can think about is her. “Actually I can think of a few great pieces that are about similar topics.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, believe it or not, you’re not the first one to experience this.”

The way she looks at him is setting him on fire. The mixture of sadness, tiredness and gratitude towards his attempt to cheer her up is still making her glow in a way Harry has never seen before on any woman. 

“Do you mind analyzing one for me right now?”

“I’d be happy to.”

The party is completely tuned out for the two of them. First they actually talk about a novel, but soon it turns into sharing their favorite books and authors, their guilty pleasure reads,  recommendations for each other and even more personal bits Harry would never share with a student, but Y/N is the exception. 

They have no idea how much time passes as they stand outside and Harry ignores how the cold starts to sting his fingertips even in his pockets, because he knows that if they go inside this bubble will pop and he is too selfish to let that happen just yet. 

When there’s a short silence Harry notices that she is probably slipping back into what happened earlier and when she looks at him again he already knows she is about to share.

“I gave him a chance and explicitly told him not to fuck me over, because I can’t deal with that again. But all he has been doing is manipulating to believe that I’m always in the wrong.”

“It’s impossible for you to always be in the wrong.”

“I know. Well, part of me knows, but then I always go back to thinking that he is right, I must have messed up something.”

“That just proves that you have self-criticism, that you don’t just think everything you do is perfect.”

She sighs and looks away, her gaze distant as she battles herself inside her head, a feeling Harry knows very well, unfortunately. It doesn’t sit right with him that she is visibly struggling because of an immature guy’s untreated problems. She deserves so much more, but how can he tell that without crossing a line?

“Give it some time and you’ll see it clearer. Use your critical thinking on his actions as well, not just yours and don’t settle for less than your worth.”

“You think I did that?” she asks, eyes jumping back to meet his gaze. “You think I settled for less than my worth?”

There’s more behind her eyes than the words she said out loud and he is torn, because he can feel himself being pulled in more than ever, like she just opened the door the slightest and he has the chance to slip in. It’s the first time he senses something on her part and after all the yearning he is eager to take the chance. 

“I think you deserve a lot more, Y/N. You’re brilliant, bright and give so much to others, you should get the same amount if not more back. If someone can’t see that, then they don’t deserve you.”

For a second he wishes he didn’t say a thing, he regrets crossing the line and he fears her reaction, but then… 

Then he forgets everything. Because she is kissing him. 

It happens fast, one moment she is staring up at him with doe eyes, the next her lips are crashing against his, her hands grabbing onto the lapels of his coat. He barely recovers from the shock when she is already pulling away.

“I-I’m so sorry, I d-didn’t mean to, I just—Oh my Go–”

Her stammering is quickly cut short when he kisses her, his hands holding her jaw to angle her face perfectly and while her kiss was closed, rushed and panicked, this one is different. He is quick to beg for her to open her lips so he can explore as much of her as humanly possible, he is letting all the passions loose that he’s been locking up these past months and when she returns it just as eagerly it just pushes him even further. 

They inch back to the wall of the house and when he pins her against it a moan slips past her swollen lips, completely maddening him. 

“Fuck, Y/N,” he breathes against her lips, kissing her jawline, savoring the sweet taste of her skin that’s supposed to be cold, but it’s actually burning. For him. 

He keeps one hand on the side of her neck, the other one digs into her hip through her coat and she keeps pushing against him, while her hands wander under his coat, they are on his waist, back and when they move to his lower stomach, brushing against his belt, something snaps inside him. 

But before he could completely lose his mind the backdoor opens and he quickly sobers up, pulling her farther away from the corner so they can’t be seen. 

“...and that was actually crazy,” a girl speaks up, oblivious to how Harry has Y/N pinned against the wall just a few feet away. They are both breathing heavily, but she has her face buried in his shoulder while he covers his mouth with a hand, adrenaline racing through his veins. 

“Ah shit, I’m out of cigarettes,” another girl says.

“Mm let’s get out of here then. I think Max said they are having a little party as well.”

“Okay.”

Then the door opens again and the voices disappear, but reality hits Harry hard in the head.

He slowly pulls back, enough to look at her face and when he sees her swollen lips and slightly smeared mascara he almost combusts. 

Because he wants nothing more than to take her, right here and then everywhere else in the world, but he also realizes what he just did and this time his rational side wins. 

“Fuck,” he gasps as he jumps back, cupping a hand over his mouth.

“I wanted it–”

“Y/N, stop!” he cuts her off. “Fuck, this was a mistake.”

“But I wanted it! You didn’t–”

“I said stop!” he barks and she shuts her mouth right away. “This shouldn’t have happened.”

And before she could protest again or worse, kiss him again, he is already storming back inside, across the house towards the front door.

“Harry! I haven’t seen you all night!” Stella catches him, but he just wants to get as far away from this house and from Y/N as possible.

“I’m sorry, I need to go. I’ll talk to you later,” is all he manages to say before he is already out the door.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[l4wsrule]

𖥔┆ misfortunate departure .

⤷ oneshot; shanks × reader : failed romance .

t͟a͟g͟s͟: shanks, red hair pirates reader, angst, romance, sfw.

Romance.

Or relationships, as they call it.

Are they really worth it?

Beckman used to say, or rather insist, that it was a bad, bad idea. Written in bold and possibly every existing font, and underlined twice. He said; "We're a pirate crew, not a soap opera."

And while the rest of the crew mostly agreed. Obviously, your red-haired captain stood firm against that. Arguing with Shanks felt like throwing a cup of water at a burning house.

It was pointless.

His love for you knew no bounds, his morals as a fierce pirate and a threat as an emperor to quite literally any naval base, crumbled entirely. With that stupid, corny smile of his that just came naturally. A smile that yelled "I'd have the sea swallow everyone whole and bring the One Piece itself to your hands in the blink of an eye."

It started off strong. It always does. Romantic, cheesy, always sticking to eachother like someone had forcibly handcuffed you together, except you did it willingly.

The quiet stares from the crew when you ate together. The first time you held hands, the feeling of his warm, calloused hand interlocking with yours in an ever so gentle hold. The loud whistles and cheers at the sight of your first kiss, with some in the background talking about losing a bet ;

"Called it! I gave it two more days max." Lucky roux laughed, slapping Yasopp lightheartedly on the back in a comforting gesture at his loss.

And so on.

And from there, it slowly escalates, into more problems, more disagreements. More "I'm too emotionally attached to not risk my life for you." type of stuff. Into, "We shouldn't have done this, we're pirates," and a bit of "This is getting risky."

You didn't want that. Neither of you wanted that. You loved him, he loved you. Certainely.

Not to the point of recklessly letting your emotions win and giving your lives away.

But you. Oh, you sure recalled. All those sweet moments, your mind sending you what seemed like an unlimited amount of very much unwanted flashbacks as you sat in your previously shared cabin. Hands on your temples like you were massaging the anger, the sorrow and the hurt out of your head forcibly. It wasn't working.

Wondering, how did you go from smiling to yourself and giggling into the pillow like a lovestruck teenager as your mind wandered to him, whenever you thought he wasn't looking.

How did you go from watching him, from a comfortable distance. Observing. Admiring. The way he talked about you to the crewmates like no other. When you thought he wasn't watching. But he was. He always was. And perhaps you knew, yet pretended not to, just to listen to him a bit longer. Paid attention to how he spoke of the smallest details about you that even you thought you didn't know, or never seemed to notice. Like you're more valuable than the One Piece itself. Which, to him, you are.

Or you were.

..Or so you thought?

You couldn't tell, at this point. Because what you had, was long over.

How long has it been now?

A few days? A week. Maybe two.

You lost count after a while. The only times you stopped reminiscing what you two had, was to run a few errands for the crew. Maybe a fight here and there. Taking care of some rookie who was brave enough to challenge Shanks himself. Perhaps an occasional mission.

What appeared to be a distant memory of you two now, you felt it. Deep inside, you could still feel it. Even now. Every inch of you felt it. Like a ghost's breath, his touch was still somehow there. Lingering. Soothing. Sometimes cold, sometimes burning hot from your shared intimacy.

Your head spiraled. You could barely focus on missions and whatever else. The clock on your wall ticking over your head like a countdown. A constant warning. The sound seemingly getting louder and louder, ringing in your ears.

A warning for you to get back to yourself, an independant pirate who never depended on anyone's measly feelings to function properly. Well, maybe that's pushing it a bit far. But Shanks definitely changed your perspectives and views of certain things. Some of your resolve completely shattered around him. And the worst part? You liked it. You loved it. You couldn't help but absolutely adore that goddamned red haired imbecile with the sweetest soul, the most heartwarming, calm voice and the kindest smile you'll ever see.

But that was it for you. Snapping out of those thoughts, one cold night at the Red Force. You made your way out of your cabin, carrying a bag over your shoulder as you took quiet, deliberate steps towards the railing. The moon hanging low, casting a spell on the calm tides of the sea, which was glittering like it was trying to mimick the dark, starry night sky underneath your gaze. A calming view, contrasting sharply with the wild storm spiraling inside your mind.

You thought you were quiet and slick. Though, amidst your heavy thinking, you seem to have forgotten one important detail ;

Shanks notices every thing.

Every move, every step, the subtle creaking of the wooden floorboards under your boots. The sound of the bag slouching over your shoulder.

Just as you were about to jump over and disembark. You, so unfortunately, felt a strong, oh so familiar grip on your wrist. It was strong, but not exactly there. Enough to hold you back, never sufficient to inflict any other feeling on you.

Great, just the guy you weren't trying to meet on your way here.

"Hm? Where to?"

He asked, quietly. Adding nothing else. A simple, firm question. Like he's asking you to confess your sins. And there it was. A voice you thought you haven't heard in decades. Deep, smooth, not overly gruff. It almost got on your nerves. How infuriatingly calm he always was, no matter the situation.

"..I'm off to clear my head, maybe a day or two.. maybe more." You sighed out. Brows furrowing ever so slightly as your eyes averted in the opposite direction of his.

And with that, his hand slipped away, freeing your wrist of his grip. He turned around, cape flaring behind him. Waving his hand dismissively.

His steps came to a sudden stop, taking a moment to glance at you over his shoulder, the scar on his eye diminishing under the dim lighting. A small glint in his eyes, a doubtful, regretting one as he spoke again ;

"..Come back safe, Y/N. We always need you here." In the most calm, collected, and gentle tone ever. Emphasis on the "we", like he was afraid to say he was the most worried specifically. But he couldn't hold you back, seeing the state you put yourself in after the break off.

Without another word, he left into the dark shadows of the upper deck, probably to the hammock he'd normally use.

Which was fine by you. Though a tinge of something you couldn't quite pinpoint, stirring in your chest. A familiar warmth, one you promptly ignored as you hopped off the ship, onto your dinghy.

And off it went. The slight frequency of the wind, along with the waves lapping gently against it, sailing it forward. Your mind wandered for a while longer, before drifting off to sleep.

Back where you left Shanks, he laid sleeplessly on the hammock, gazing up at the dimly moon lit sky, hand under his head, propping it like a pillow. His shirt half open, leg crossed over the other as the gentle wind swept through his shiny red hair. Thinking. Ever so deep in thought. Thinking about how you actively avoided his gaze in your earlier interaction. To how you were never like that with him. He's not the type of guy to move on from something like a break up so easily. No, never. He just never spoke of it much. But so did you, really.

His silence was soon to be interrupted, by the sound of a flick.

"You just let her leave like that?" A gruff, low voice spoke out, it was as if he appeared from nowhere, like a threat. It was Beckman.

Flicking the lighter, — click — ,and the flame on the cigarette— resting lazily on his lips as they curled around it— came to life.

"She'll come back. It's not like she's leaving forever." The red hair glanced at his wingman from the side of his eye.

"That's not my point." Benn exhaled, a puff of smoke emitting from his lips as he continued; "You know why she left, and you didn't speak a word."

"Women need time, Beckman, if I tried to talk her out of it, she'd just do it even faster to spite me." Shanks reassured, a small, involuntary smile tucking at the sides of his lips at the thought of you. How fierce and feisty you were. One of the most prominent things about you.

The silver haired individual was quiet. Convinced by the other's argument, but more like, not bothering much with Shanks. After all, he knew you much better.

"..Told you it would be no good." He sighed out, to which the captain quickly responded to, with a full on smile plastered on his complexion now ;

"It was worth the shot though, wasn't it?" Shanks grinned.

"..I guess it was. Couldn't have convinced you out of it back then anyway." Benn replied in surrender.

"I'll make it work again."

"You're not trying that again."

"Oh, I sure am."

Beckman rubbed his temples, rubbing a hand across his face like he was helplessly watching the world crumble right infront of him, like he wasn't just giving up on Shanks, but life itself. Or maybe life was giving up on him. An indistinguishable groan emitting from the back of his throat.

That idiot.

With the break of day, you emerged from sleep, eyes slowly blinking open to the sight of the bright sunlight ahead of you, straining your vision.

You stood upright, rubbing your eyes with a low, groggy groan. Or so you tried. Until you noticed your hands were restrained.

You didn't exactly wake up, it was more like something startled you out of your slumbers' dreams. A quick shake. A loud noise, too loud for such an early time in the morning. When the realization set in, your eyes fully widened in alert, looking at your surroundings in a daze.

Distant sounds could be heard, a few men speaking, waves lapping against the hull of a ship.. a hull.. of a ship?

You were no longer in your dinghy.

Keeping your composure, you analyzed your surroundings, for any sign of an exit, an escape route. It was a navy ship.

"Fuck, how did I not notice." You complained under your breath, looking back at the shackles holding you to the ground. Feeling the slightest bit lightheaded. "Did they drug me?"

"I don't have time to think about that now, I have to —"

"Have to what?" Mid breaking the shackles off, a sword at your throat held you back, one of the marine officers was standing right infront of you, ever so menacingly. "I don't know how one of the red hair pirates was slacking off for us to take so easily, but we sure weren't gonna let the opportunity slip between our fingers."

"You— Opportunity to do what ??" You growled, brows furrowing in a mix of anger, and.. admission? You admitted to yourself that you'd never get caught off guard so easily, never this easily. Things were really taking a toll on you, hm.

"Why, to use you as bait for that absolute menace of a pirate."

"Don't speak of him like that."

He tightened his grip on the sword at a few degrees.

"Aw, hit a weak spot, hm?" The marine chuckled, like he was enjoying getting on your nerves. And guess what, he was.

"You're really brave if you think you'll even stand a chance." You rolled your eyes, ignoring his previous comment.

"I'm sure he'll do what it takes to get you back in one piece." He spoke ominously, sword pressing a little harder against your throat, like a pending warning.

Within the deck of the Red Force, it has been days now. About four days. No sign of you.

"She said a day or two.." Shanks mumbled to himself, a tankard of rum in hand, staring out at the vast, peaceful horizon ahead of him.

"She said maybe more, Shanks." Beckman added reassuringly, like some kind of guardin angel. Always calm, always collected. Never panicked. Never thinking the worst.

The red hair turned around, leaning casually against the railing, his one elbow propping him to it.

"..Yeah." He sighed out, a small smile tucking at the corners of his mouth. "She'll come back anytime."

"Stop thinking about her so much, you lovestruck fool."

"It's true love, Beckman!"

"You're so far gone."

"I'm right where I want to be."

The interaction was soon to be cut off, by a familiar panicked voice;

"Captain, captain — !!" Lucky roux yelled out, running to Shanks like his life would end if he ran any slower. A meat skewer dangling off the side of his mouth, muffling his words, along with a newspaper in hand.

Now standing infront of Shanks, the rotund pirate took a moment to catch his breath, handing the newspaper to his captain with a slightly shaky hand. "It's her — !!"

Shanks raised an eyebrow curiously, head mildly tilted in intrigue, with that same laid back smirk he always wore, a hand raised in surprise.

"Calm down, Roux— who's.." He trailed off, taking the press from his hands, his previous smirk immediately faltering, as though he'd crossed a bridge between life and death itself. You were on the front cover, name written in bold like an alert. "..Captured." He finished.

Beckman, who was still standing beside him, sighed. Crushing his cigarette on the railing nearby, then taking the paper from his hands and reading through it carefully.

"Don't do anything reckless, Shanks. She's fine, we need a strategy."

"It's been days, Beckman, her life is on the line."

From the lower deck, Gab voiced ; "How did she get caught of all people, anyway ?!"

Shanks gathered the crew around, an unyielding expression plastered on his face. A look that could make anyone's knees buckle with just a glare.

"It doesn't matter how she ended up there, we'll find her." The red hair spoke firmly. His voice cold, gruff, leaving no room for argument.

Beckman sighed, though cracking a faint smirk at his captain's never changing determination. He could be an idiot, but Benn would follow him through hell and back.

Shanks raised his hand, where your vivre card was pointing. "Everyone, heading north now !"

The rest, on the other hand, roared fiercly in agreement. Yasopp turning the helm and sailing forward with all the speed the Red Force had to offer.

An adventure, a rollercoaster, certainely awaited.

It seemed like you were aboard that damned navy ship forever. They barely even fed you, purely on purpose. Your means of escaping were all blocked, haki significantly weakened.

Great, just what you needed. Piling up on everything happening, just the thought of everyone finding out you got kidnapped by some measly marine group, made you want to throw yourself overboard and land somewhere hot, and preferably die in a way no one would hear of you again.

But you knew they would hear, and you most certainely knew he'd come to your rescue anytime now. And you hated it, you hated being treated like some damsel in distress, but that smiling ginger idiot would do it anyway.

And so you waited, a sense of impending doom heavy on your chest. You slipped in and out of consciousness, almost forgetting there was this annoying marine guy pestering you all freaking day.

"Listen, if you're gonna be over my head yelling at me for some.. secret information from the crew or whatever, I might aswell start asking you to kill me soon." You sighed out, not even giving him the luxury of facing him.

"You're real cocky for an unarmed weakling in shackles." He teased, holding your chin up towards him with the dull side of his sword.

"And you're pretty full of yourself for threatning an.. unarmed weakling in shackles, as you say. Give me that attitude again once I'm out of here." You snapped back, calmly, firmly, giving him a bored look.

"You —"

He didn't have the chance to finish whatever he was saying, the words catching in his throat as the rest of the marines onboard yelled out, alerting ;

"Raid alert !!!! I repeat ; Raid alert, The red hair pirates are here !!!" One blurted out in panic, watching the others passed out one by one like bug sprayed flies.

There it goes.

The sentence you'd been anticipating. It was.. very much predictable. And that unmistakable haki of his.

Looking ahead, you saw him. Jumping from the deck of the Red Force into marines' vessel. That same grin plastered on his face like someone drew it on with permanent marker. He looked like he was walking into a birthday party, not invading a navy ship.

"What happened to coming back in a day or two?" Shanks chuckled, now kneeled beside you, breaking the shackles and freeing you.

"..I said I would be back, I didn't need you to interfere again." You avoided his gaze, again.

He lended you a supporting hand to stand up.

You didn't even look at it, standing up by yourself, but you quickly stumbled, holding onto the nearest thing beside you. Him.

"Hey, careful now, wouldn't want you hurting yourself." The red hair cooed, draping his arm over your side and pulling you against him, supporting your weight. You didn't protest, holding onto him aswell, barely conscious.

"I'm.. perfectly.. fine." You muttered out, almost to yourself than to him, before you allowed yourself to sleep it off, now that you knew you were safe. In his arms. In a way you absolutely despised. Yet loved at the same time.

And you woke up.

Again.

But this time, in a familiar place. The scent of your beloved cabin filling your nostrils, eyes squinted. A candle hung on your wall, spilling a dim, warm light onto the room. You didn't pay attention to how your previously dirty clothes were changed into a clean, fresh set.

And there he was. Because of course he was.

Sitting beside your bed, laid back on a chair ever so nonchalantly, like it was completely normal to watch your ex sleeping. Just another normal tuesday night.

You sat up abruptly, your bed-hair tousled from sleep, your calm, tired expression soon sharpening.

"What are you doing here ?!"

"..Uh, watching over you?" Shanks admitted sheepishly.

"Do I look like a dying victorian child?"

He held back a small laugh. "I wouldn't say that. Just thought you'd want company when you woke up, after what happened."

"Well, thanks, I'm perfectly fine by myself. You can go now."

"I think I'm good, I'll stay."

Silence.

..And more silence.

If you waited a bit longer, you'd hear crickets chirping in your ear.

He didn't leave, didn't even budge. Didn't even think or consider leaving.

And then a sigh came out of him. You were still actively avoiding his gaze like the plague.

"Listen.. Y/N. We can't keep running from this."

"From what?"

"From this conversation. From this.. whole thing going on."

"There's nothing going on, I thought it was clear that we're over."

"We're not —"

You suddenly interrupted him, raising your voice by just an octave.

"We are, Shanks. You know, I.. we both know it's just not gonna work, and you just proved my point."

He raised his hand in a surrendering gesture ; "I don't recall proving anything." He smirked.

You rubbed a hand over your face. You hated how aloof and casual he was, even now.

"You came to save me, that's also a risk."

"Come on, that doesn't count. They were just rookies."

"Well, what if they weren't ?! What if it was another emperor crew, or, or— an admiral, hell, I don't know, any high ranking figure." You stuttered, stumbling over your own words, still looking around everywhere but him.

You were scared, even if you wouldn't admit it, you were scared that just looking at him would break your entire resolve again; the one you spent weeks rebuilding. Because it would absolutely break again. It was still fragile as glass.

And when you didn't expect it, Shanks reached out comfortably, his warm hand resting under your chin, tilting your head ever so gently, not wanting to rattle you.

His earlier sheepish, cheeky grin, had disappeared. His expression softened into a warm smile. One you were too acquianted with.

"I'd fight them, too. Without hesitation. I'd fight the gods themselves for you, Y/N. Whether you like it or not." The red hair spoke, his hair falling over his face just right, the dim light highlighting his sharp features and sun-tanned skin. Eyes lighting up and glinting lovingly at the sight of you.

It was unmistakable.

That look of love.

You knew he still loved you.

He knew you still loved him.

But that was exactly the problem.

Your lips parted slightly, as if to say something, but for a moment, nothing came out, until you gathered your thoughts, not wanting to say something stupid.

"That's.. that's exactly it, Shanks.. I don't want that. I don't want you to risk your life for me. I don't want you to get attached. I want you to live freely, as my captain." You muttered out, voice slightly shaky with unspoken feelings. You said what you had to. Not what you wanted to.

His hand trailed from your chin, to the side of your jaw, your cheek, then to the bangs on your face, gently pushing them behind your ear, soothing your hair back.

You didn't protest, at all. You didn't want to. No matter how much you tried to convince yourself you did. You haven't felt his touch in what seemed like decades. Sending a warm, loving feeling to your chest.

And then, unexpectedly, he leaned in and whispered an ever so tender against your lips. Feather light, like he was afraid to scare you away. Yet passionate.

Silence reigned over the moment, until he reluctantly pulled away, looking at you with heavy lidded, loving eyes, his fingers never leaving your hair in the moment.

"If you think that'll get me to stop loving you, you ought to try harder, my dear." Shanks murmured in a deep, smooth voice. Barely above a whisper.

All you could do was stare at him, eyes wide in surprise, your ears warming up. A faint blush dusting your cheeks. Heart fluttering in your chest. You couldn't even think of anything to say.

"I'm not getting scared off. As a pirate, my life is always on the line. It's what we sign up for, isn't it." He trailed off, then continued;

"And as your captain, I order you to let me love you, hm?" Shanks cooed, the most soft spoken command. And possibly the best one you'd ever gotten to hear from him.

Maybe your resolve wasn't that important now. All you wanted right now, in this moment, was to pull him back in for a kiss you've been holding back for ever so long.

And that's exactly what you did.

Even he was slightly thrown off guard, but quickly melted into it. Fingers wandering to the back of your head, tangling in your hair and deepening the kiss, your arms hooked onto his neck like an anchor.

You leaned away, again. Letting your lips linger for a moment longer. You weren't avoiding his gaze anymore. You couldn't afford to. Like you were scared he'd disappear the moment you looked away.

"Guess we could've avoided all the hassle if we had this talk from the beginning, eh?" He chuckled in a low, lighthearted tone.

"..I wish you'd stop speaking sometimes."

"Ouch. Hurts my feelings." Shanks joked dramatically, putting a hand over his chest in mock pain.

"Stay that way."

From behind the door, you heard a loud crash, like someone fell. A specific someone, big enough to cause such a noise.

Then his voice blurted out ; "Move, I can't hear anything !!"

"Not my fault you're blocking the whole doorway!!" Yasopp's voice echoed right after his, before the door swung open from the weight of both of them leaning against it.

Beckman sighed, from a distance. But you could definitely hear it. If there was a bounty up for the most disappointed, and done man ever. He'd long have surpassed Roger, the king of the pirates himself.

"I told you that wouldn't end well." He sppke firmly.

Shanks only chuckled at the sight of them, while you just facepalmed, groaning into your hands like you'd wanted the earth to swallow you whole. Seeing that, Shanks shot them a singular glare, without another word. Didn't need words.

With that, they closed the door behind and left the room, running.

"..So I guess this makes us—"

"I love you too." You cut him off.

"..What am I supposed to say to that?" Shanks chuckled.

"I hate when you say it first because you keep repeating that you love me more even when I give up."

"Fair."

You stayed quiet for a moment, before reaching your hand towards his, locking your fingers together.. for the first time in weeks, aswell.

"You could.. always say it back."

The red hair gave you a cheeky smile, one that quickly warmed up as he squeezed your hand gently, bringing it to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to your palm.

"Always love you more, Y/N."

Thus, the endless conflict ended. It wasn't such a failed romance after all. All you needed was a thorough talk, and maybe a bit of reassurance. Shanks would've gotten his way either way, because of course he would. He's Shanks. Unbeatable, undebatable, always got a solution for everything. But it's one of the things you liked most about that imbecile. A very loving imbecile.

⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖

[syluscrows]

You catch him trying on your clothes.

Xavier, Sylus and Zayne

Contents: Fem!reader, fluff, humour, written in the perspective of a shorter reader, size differences mentioned

Xavier

He tries on some of your cute pyjama sets out of curiosity.

Poses Infront of the mirror, making kissy faces, acting all cutesy

when he sees your nightdress in the drawer, he giggles to himself, sliding into it.

He has a slimmer build, so your clothes fit quite well on him

And right at that moment that's when you walk in.

He panics, trying to take it off before you find him, hearing you calling his name throughout the house.

When you find him he looks like he is about to CRY.

"I'm sorry, y/n! I was curious!" He says in a whiney tone.

Poor boy feels SO humiliated, you can practically hear his soul being crushed.

You assure him that he looks adorable, and he looks at you with puppy dog eyes "You think so..?"

Since then, he just shamelessly wears your pyjamas - although he gets a bit embarrassed if you bring up the nightdress again.

Most likely out of the three to do this quite often..

Zayne

You catch him holding your bra up to his chest after you notice he's been in the bedroom for a while.

"What the fuck, Zayne?"

He doesn't seem embarrassed that you caught him, just shrugging and saying "I was measuring the difference in sizing of our chests."

This ends with you peer pressuring him to actually put it on fully

You can only do one of the links up, since you're much smaller than he is.

And here he is, squeezed into your bra while you take pictures, giggling away.

At one point he even starts jokingly posing, and you both end up laughing

He often leaves the house wearing your hoodies, he's never seen a reason why not.

Like Xavier, he does occasionally wear your pyjamas, if they fit him. He insists its because its comforting, and they smell like you.

He's tall, so there are some clothes he refuses to put on, like your dresses. Some of your shirts are practically crop tops on him since he has a tall build.

Sylus

Okay, first of all, this is Sylus after you've gotten VERY VERY close. I don't think the Sylus we meet at the start of his storyline would do this, but when y'all are dating he does anything to make his pookie smile :]

Is just straight up putting your bra on in the SAME ROOM AS YOU RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU. this man is SHAMELESS.

"What do you think?" shifting his eyebrows at you

He isn't phased in the slightly that you've seen him doing this.

If you complain, he just argues back "So you're allowed to wear my clothes, but the same doesn't apply to me?"

He can't actually fit the bra around him, since his chest is so big.

"I should get one of these.."

You ask him to put on a dress? done. He just looks smug as you giggle away at the sight

Of course, he's a very muscular man, so this always ends up with your dresses being damaged or ripping, But he doesn't hesitate to tell you to buy yourself a new one.

He would put on your panties...... and LOOK BETTER THAN YOU DO IN THEM.....

However, unlike the others, he doesn't wear your clothes out or your pyjamas, mainly because they don't fit well enough, and obviously for his pride, he is a man with a damn good fashion sense Afterall.

Mostly just wears your stuff as a joke to make you laugh.

[urhoneycombwitch]

hold me like water

Eddie Munson x shy!Reader in the aftermath, you and Eddie learn how to live again.

foreword: followup to my unofficial eddie x shy!reader series. not necessary to read in order but here’s one and two if u want. this takes place after the events of s4 but everyone (including the trailer sorry i’m too attached) is mostly fine and so is the town. except for all that pesky PTSD… lol. written epilogue-style but I just wanted to give them something soft… not done w them yet!!

cw: PTSD, nightmares, trauma bonding, medical stuff, scarring/wounds, light smut post-traumatic event, R has breasts+a vagina, R wears a bikini

wc: 3k

___

For the first month, you don’t leave the trailer.

More specifically, you don’t leave Eddie. 

While he’s recovering from the attacks, you confine yourself to his room; Wayne had pulled in a comfy armchair for you when he realized you’d been sleeping on Eddie’s floor for three nights in a row, just to be closer to him than the guest bed down the hall. 

Now, with the chair, you’re actually getting some sleep at night- enough to tend to Eddie’s wounds every morning and evening without yawning comically loud. 

After the first few weeks of healing, while Eddie is still tender but learning to walk shakily with the use of a cane, you still stick to the boundaries of the trailer. Neither of you really want to go anywhere, anyways: Hop’s instructions to keep a low profile while the dust settles on the murder investigation have to be taken seriously. 

Plus, Eddie and you are very well taken care of by your friends-turned-family. Anything you could ever want for shows up on your doorstep and kitchen counters by a rotating crew of familiar faces; Mrs. Byers brings groceries and finds excuses to stay longer, busying herself by making tea, doing the dishes; Mrs. Wheeler brings casseroles and her son, who steals Eddie away for intense D&D discussions (Eddie made Mike interim DM, and the power’s really gone to his head). 

The trailer is almost always filled during the day, bikes in a heap on the front strip of grass, Beemer parked at an angle to avoid a popped tire. Steve picks up Eddie’s medication every Friday, brings it over along with a bunch of VHS’s and Robin. Sometimes Jonathan and Argyle join in on movie nights, too, and Nancy when she’s not busy with work.

It’s easy and peaceful, spending time with people who understand and share the same traumas. People who don’t stare at the bandages or Eddie’s cane or ask why you won’t leave the trailer any more. 

The government officials from the now-defunct Hawkin’s lab call every few days, wall-mounted landline ringing like a toll bell at 3pm sharp. You tell them the same thing, every time, curt and firm- if they want to interrogate you and Eddie, they’ll damn well have to come here. Or drag you, kicking and screaming.

Steve asks about it one afternoon, naive and confused with the force of your phone slamming- “Y’know, they probably just want you to sign one of those Don’t-Talk-About-This papers and give you a bunch of money. I heard they’re setting up college funds for all the kids-”

“Good for them.” Your dry remark cuts in smoothly from the couch, hand on Eddie’s knee as a lifeline. In a voice wobbly with anger, eyes glittering with unshed tears, your chin tilts up, defiant- “It’s the least they can do. I want them to look me in the eyes when they try to grovel for my silence. For Eddie’s. After all they fucking did to us, to the town-”

Eddie’s hand slips over yours, squeezes. Steve raises his hands in a placating gesture, surrendering with haste, then retreats to the kitchen for movie night snacks. 

“Never heard you so bossy before,” Eddie murmurs, at the shell of your ear. Goosebumps cascade across your neck when he rests his heavy palm there, cold rings warming to the temperature of your skin. “Goin’ to bat for me. It’s hot.”

You’re a couple of steps removed from the quiet, shy thing Eddie’s known for years. Seeing the love of your life almost bleed out in an alternate dimension will do that to a person.

Owens shows up at the trailer one morning, at the end of summer after all the phone calls provide no results. Him and two of his muscliest-looking lab guys are met by you in the threshold of the door, arms crossed and somehow looking fierce despite the fuzzy blue bathrobe you’re swathed in.

“The goons stay outside.” Your word is final. Even the doctor knows it.

The two men in coats settle on either side of the porch, while Owens is allowed to sit at the kitchen table indoors, accepting a mug of coffee Eddie generously supplies (you certainly aren’t in a hospitable mood, glaring daggers at him from the opposing chair).

Predictably, the doctor explains he’s here with some NDA’s for both you and Eddie to sign, the shiny promise of a government-allotted chunk of change waiting on the other side.

Hidden from view under the table, your fingertips skate over Eddie’s palm, lying open and pliant for you. Calmly, like you’re stating the weather, you tell Owens to double his offer.

By the time he’s done using your phone, Owens is wiping sweat from his forehead with a kerchief. Once the papers are signed, him and the lab goons load back into the shiny black car like silent sentries. 

They leave, and Eddie laughs, a full, rich noise that makes your heart ache. His fist slams the table in excess of humor, mugs jumping with a clink. “Goddamn. You just made the richest guy in Hawkins run off with his tail between his legs.” 

“Pretty sure Harrington Senior has him beat,” you mutter around the rim of your coffee, unable to repress the satisfied smirk that tugs at your lips. 

The payoff is a sickening amount, more money than you or Eddie have ever seen- enough to send you both to college, twice, with a hefty nest egg for the future leftover. You put the bulk of yours in a savings account, just so you don’t get dizzy looking at the numbers. 

Eddie does the same, with the exception of a down payment on the vacant trailer at the end of the park. Along with the new place, Wayne gets a fresh mattress, a couch that doesn���t have holes, and a proper, working stereo to play all his “old man country” tapes (in Eddie’s words). The quiet and deep thankfulness Wayne gives you both makes you feel like you’d do it all over again, like the fight was all worth it for the Laz-E-Boy in the corner and the new mug collection shelf. 

Eddie floats the idea of college again, now that you’ve got the funds to make it possible. You’ve certainly got the time, too- neither of you have any need to work long shifts at the diner or garage anymore. 

Unfortunately, this makes it all the more easy to form reclusive habits. By autumn, the solidness of your refusal to leave the trailer has less to do with helping Eddie than it does with your own fear of what lies beyond the comfort of your home. 

Most days, you work on healing. Eddie’s still your lifeline, gentle encouragement turning stern when you need it the most- he talks you into visiting Max by yourself, a veritable feat; the short walk between the two trailers feels like death, your knock shaky with nerves. It feels horrifying, to walk the thin line of being both braver and more scared than you’ve ever been.

You stay for an hour. The next day, for two- Max has a new kitten that passes the time easily, the girl giggling behind her new thick-rimmed glasses while pulling string across the floor for the tiny thing to pounce on. One night, you bring dinner for both the Mayfields and stay well past supper; it’s nearly 11 by the time you return to Eddie’s open arms, triumphant in your success with a tupperware of Mrs. Mayfield’s cookies to boot.

Your bravery builds in increments. Eddie cleans the rust from his van that’s been sitting untouched since spring, and takes you on drives that go a bit farther each time. The Byers’ place for lunch, Dustin’s to pick up an extra radio, then all the way to north Hawkins for more of Mrs. Wheeler’s plastic-wrapped dishes she asks you to relieve her of. 

When winter rolls around, Steve takes advantage of his now-permanently empty home to throw a holiday party. It’s loud with chatter and overwhelming with noise but it feels so good to be surrounded by it, by everyone, Eddie’s hand a steady comfort on your waist or lower back as you eat and drink and make merry with your friends. 

Hop pulls it off, a Christmas miracle- all the murders get pinned on Jason, buried six feet under with parents who skipped town ages ago. You’re out for groceries one cold morning and realize that not a single shopper has even given Eddie a second glance, conspicuous as he is in black leather and flashy silver jewelry. 

The strings loosen with a sigh, fluttering in release, allowing some space for you both to breathe.

Sex has been… different, lately. There’s been lots of readjusting, both physically and mentally- accounting for unforeseen muscle spasms, bone-deep bruises hidden beneath rippled skin, tissue and scarring pulled taut, testing the limits of new pains.    

The first time, just a few weeks after the attacks, Eddie had begged to go down on you. He wanted the comfort of your thighs, your taste and scent, all-consuming, to think about anything else other than his wounds. 

You’d been more than hesitant, terrified of hurting him, of letting your focus shift inwards. More in your head than ever, it took Eddie over an hour to coax an orgasm from the walls that’d been built back up around your pleasure; even with his lithe tongue and long, seeking fingers, it took forever and an age to get you anywhere close to the edge.

Eddie didn’t complain once- in fact, he kind of got off on the amount of time you let him spend between your legs. The muscles in his right arm were trembling by the time you clamped down on his fingers, jaw burning but keeping the suction at your clit even while your hips rolled strong as a tidal wave against his face.

And before you could open your mouth to apologize, or say something equally silly, panting and wrung-out and heartbreakingly beautiful against the pillows, Eddie’s teeth flashed at the inside of your thigh. 

You’d jolted, breathless and giggly, endorphins soaring as he’d tenderly crawled up the length of your body to slip his tongue between your lips, sharing the earthy tang of your release. 

“One more,” he’d said, uninjured arm taking the bulk of his weight while he dipped down to mouth at your breast. “And this time, put your hands in my hair. I’m getting jealous of the sheets.”

As Eddie’s physical limitations lessen with time, your mental barriers ease, as well. There’s still some stilted moments of relearning, of working together in bodies that don’t always respond the way you want them to. 

There are raw, stripped-open emotions that have you clawing at Eddie’s back, his nails leaving indents on the flesh of your hips. To keep pressure off the worst of his side wounds, you find new positions, usually some form of your thighs draped over his or the welcome weight of you in his lap. 

He’s endlessly patient. The kind of patient that makes you want to run, far and fast, and he knows it; when your pleasure recedes, frustration in the form of tears and hands pressed to your face, Eddie’s there to soothe. To try a new angle, to slow down or speed up, offering a break or an extra pillow to keep you comfortable and feeling good. 

If you were comforted by each other’s presence during the night before the Spring Break from hell, it’s tenfold now. Neither of you will sleep a wink if Eddie’s not wrapped around you like a koala, snoring gently, overheated and tacky with sweat by morning but neither willing to compromise the closeness. 

Nightmares are easier to handle, too- you’re there to soothe the sweat-coated bangs from Eddie’s forehead when he wakes up whimpering in fear, coaxing his panic and adrenaline back down. He’s so fine-tuned to the rhythms of your body that even though your own nightmares rarely end in noise, Eddie often wakes anyways from the disturbance in your breaths. 

Just as you do for him, sometimes all it takes to get you back to sleep is a tender voice, a stroke of the arm, a reassurance in the dark that he’s with you. 

A year after it all happened, Eddie hears you singing in the shower.

If he wasn’t craning to hear the gentle splashing noises as confirmation of your presence, he would’ve missed it. Eddie leans with his good shoulder on the wood frame, door partially cracked to let the melody of your voice float through.

Stevie Nicks is crooning sweetly from the handheld radio on the bathroom counter, and you, just as sweet and twice as pretty singing along. 

Eddie closes his eyes, puts a hand to his chest; through the fabric of his shirt he feels the raised, bumpy edges of scar tissue, but there’s something beyond it. Curling around his heart, making it ache- it feels like healing. Like getting better, at least well enough to sing.

He’s dumbstruck with it. 

That summer, he takes you to Lover’s Lake.

It’s just the two of you, which makes it easy for Eddie to go shirtless; currently, he’s enjoying the way you’re watching him from the back of the van, bare feet swinging and paired with a killer black bikini that he begged you into.

He’s not so sure the scars that criss cross his front and sides are as “metal” as you claim they are, but he’s trying. He’d drag himself over hot coals just to get half a smile; going shirtless is nothing. 

You reach for him, and he walks into the V of your legs willingly, your arms wrapping around his torso, head pressed to the middle of his sternum. Eddie plants his hands on either side of your hips, drops his chin to fit you under it.

“Come swim with me.”

In response, you sigh- a longsuffering, worried sort of noise that leaves your lungs and enters his. He’s been trying to talk you into it for weeks- it’s a miracle he’s gotten you both this far, dressed and ready to take the plunge. 

Eddie’s not really sure why this swim is so important to him. It might have something to do with the fissure at the bottom of the lake, all scabbed over and sewn back together; or maybe it’s the surface, skimmed by a light breeze  and rippling gently, nothing of monsters or alternate dimensions leftover to disturb the placidity. 

Eddie wants to prove that it’s safe, for you and for himself. That the nightmares and the sticky feelings and the tears, they all mean something, of course they do- but the only way to is through. 

So he takes you by both hands and you only drag your feet a little until he’s walking backwards on the shore, water lapping up to his ankles, and you freeze. Heels digging into the wet earth, tense under Eddie’s grasp, eyes wide and darting around like something might come crashing through the treeline.

“Hey. Look at me.” In a voice that’s reserved for you and you alone, Eddie speaks softly, calmly, letting out all the tension of his pull to just hold, instead. “You’re safe. There’s nothing out here that’s gonna hurt us, okay? Steve went all the way back down to the bottom to make sure. No more gate. No nothin’. It’s just a lake.”

“Just a lake,” you repeat, like a mantra as you take another step. The water rolls over your feet; Eddie murmurs his encouragement while leading.

“That’s right, sweetheart. It’s just a lake. Our lake.”

The water rises, up the back of Eddie’s calves, swishing around your shins; the pebble-rock floor shifts with each step. You and Eddie used to spend long summer days here, swimming and picnicking and fucking in the back of the van, syrupy-slow and stretched with time. 

“Our lake.” You’re shivering, teeth chattering, even though the air is hot and the water is just-cool.

Eddie rubs at your upper arms, allaying the goosebumps; waterline up to your waists, now. The rock you’re balanced on beneath the surface jolts, and you stumble forward into Eddie’s arms; in a smooth maneuver, he catches you while sinking into a crouch, pulling you both from the safety of the shallows.

Then, your kicking feet meet nothing but the vastness of the lake, nails biting into Eddie’s arms, fear rattling through your spine until Eddie- treading water while valiantly supporting you, too- tosses his black hair back and whoops. 

The sound is loud, joyful, ricochets across the lake and bounces back from the other shore. He crows at the sun, startles a laugh out of you as he clings harder, kicking to keep you both afloat- “Holy SHIT! We’re swimming in Lover’s Lake!”

“Holy shit,” you agree, giddy and breathless, nerves turning over into disbelief, excitement. “We’re swimming in our lake.”

Eddie kisses you. It’s sloppy and he misses the middle of your mouth as you both try to keep the other from slipping under, teeth clashing, giggles escaping around the sides. He puts a hand dripping with lake water to your cheek, holding you in place, thumb pressing gentle just under your eye. 

“I love you.”

“Love you.” Your reply is swift and just as eager, hand coming to rest at the puckered line of scarring at Eddie’s chest. 

Somewhere at the bottom of Lover’s Lake, a twin crack, a Something that was never supposed to be but now just Is. 

You feel extraordinarily grateful, awash with we made it, as you and Eddie swim out further, shores in the shape of a heart holding you both from all sides.

___

for more shy!Reader content: masterlist

[gotham--fc]

Désolée - A Marie-Philip Poulin and Laura Stacey Imagine

Part two of my previous Pou and Stacey fic which you can find here

Y/N comes to visit Pou and Stacey in Montreal and tempers flare

Y/N had never been so relieved for summer break.

She, like every teenager, counts the days until school is out, naturally, but this summer is different. From dealing with normal school stuff, to her hometown team who keep moving her up age groups and coaches not so subtly trying to poach her for their teams, to being in the national team rotation and suddenly being one of the most popular people in her town, she’s ready for a break.

Of course, hockey doesn’t stop, hockey never stops, but hockey takes a break. Or rather, she takes a break since she doesn’t have to attend tryouts and recruitment camps anymore. She feels bad, feels like she’s getting special treatment over some of the girls who have been on the team longer than her, but there’s nothing she can do about it. And she has plans, so there’s that.

She steps off the plane in the Montreal airport, carry on dragging behind her. She didn’t want to check a bag, so she shoved everything into her carry on and now it feels heavier than anything. She finds her way through the airport and out past security. She pauses for a moment, looking around at all the people gathered there, trying to find a familiar face. Her eyes land on a brightly coloured sign with “Mon Petite Lapinou” written on it. She shakes her head fondly, a blush rising on her cheeks and a warmth filling her chest.

“Salut!” Pou wraps her up in a big hug and rocks her side to side. “How are you? Was the flight okay? How did your exams go?”

“Marie, please, let the girl breathe,” Laura says. Pou lets go and Y/N hugs Laura. “She was a little too excited for your visit,” Laura whispers to Y/N.

“Have you ever been to Montreal?” Pou asks as they walk to the car. Pou took Y/N’s carry on from her as soon as they started walking and carries it easily.

“No, I mean, I’ve been to Quebec for tournaments and stuff but I never had any in Montreal. We were mostly in Gatineau and Sherbrooke.”

“You’ll love it, it’s a beautiful city,” Pou says, “Maybe you’ll love it so much you’ll want to come here after you graduate college.”

“Marie,” Laura scolds, “She’s not even done high school.”

“Okay okay,” Pou says, “But I’ll still make you like Montreal more than Boston. I don’t want you playing for my rival team in a few years.”

Y/N smiles at that. She has no doubt that Pou will convince her Montreal is a better city than Boston, but she has no idea what the future will hold. She doesn’t even know if she’ll do well in college, let alone get drafted and actually make a team in the PWHL.

“Are you hungry?” Laura places her hand on Y/N’s shoulder as Pou puts her bag in the trunk of the car. “We can stop somewhere for food on the way back if you want.”

“I’m alright,” Y/N says, subconsciously leaning into Laura’s touch. “I think I’m just tired.”

“Alright,” Laura says, “Let us know if you change your mind, okay?” Y/N nods.

They all pile in the car, Laura in the front seat while Pou drives and Y/N in the back. Pou talks the whole time, telling Y/N all the things they’ll do while she’s here, pointing out landmarks and buildings and telling stories. Y/N does her best to listen, but the flight and the rocking of the car pulls her to sleep.

“Marie,” Laura says quietly, “Look.”

Marie glances in the rearview mirror and sees Y/N asleep. She smiles fondly at her.

“It’s hard to believe she’ll be going to college in a year, she looks so young,” Marie says.

“Don’t say that when she’s awake,” Laura says, “She might kill you.”

***

Y/N really likes being with Pou and Laura. It’s fun, exploring Montreal, and getting to see the two of them outside of the camp environment. It’s not like they hide their relationship, since everyone knows about them, but they still keep things professional during camps. It’s fun seeing them without the pressure of camp and performing.

Pou wakes up every day at 5am to walk Arlo. They return at 6am and make the most noise possible and Y/N smiles as she hears Laura yell for them to keep it down and then the clamber of footsteps as Pou and Arlo run up the stairs and jump in bed with Laura. Y/N then usually pulls her pillow over her head and goes back to sleep until 8am.

Pou and Laura love going to farmers markets and Y/N tags along as Pou speaks in rapid fire French to all the vendors. Y/N tries to keep up, but her grade nine French isn’t enough.

“You’ll pick it up the longer you’re here,” Laura tells her, “If you even end up in Montreal. You won’t need much French in Boston, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Y/N says.

She doesn’t know how to explain the pit in her chest that opens every time one of them mentions Boston, or where she’s going to end up once she graduates. She knows she has to think about it, she’s going to Boston in a year, she can’t avoid it, but she just wishes everyone would let her spend the summer just being a regular teenager on summer vacation.

“I’ll have to send you a list of restaurants to try when you’re in Boston,” Pou says that night when they’re having dinner. “And me and Laura can come visit you and–”

“Can’t you spend one day not talking about Boston?” Y/N snaps, “I might not even go to Boston! And I might not get drafted to Montreal in five years if I even get drafted at all! I’m sorry that you only care about me because you think I’m your protégé or something but I’m not like you and I never will be!”

Y/N shoves her chair back and storms out of the room, frustrated tears in her eyes.

“Wh – Y/N! Come back here! Arrêt! Reviens à table!”

Y/N ignores her and slams the door of the guest bedroom.

***

Laura isn’t going to say she say this coming. She saw signs, the way Y/N got quiet and seemed to shrink whenever someone brought up college or the pros, the way Marie never seemed to notice. She won’t say she’s better at reading Y/N than Marie, or that Marie is unobservant, or anything like that. Laura only noticed because she’s been through this with Marie already.

Back when they first started dating, Laura wasn’t settled in her career. She still felt like an outsider, like a fringe player, and she spent years expecting the national team coaches to call her and tell her she didn’t make the team. Marie never understood that, because she never had to. Ever since her debut, she was a mainstay on the national team. She’s the captain, there was no question she would be on every team she was healthy enough to be on. She never dealt with the uncertainty.

Marie also never understood why Laura doubted herself. She never understood why Laura would plan for what happens when she gets cut. For Marie, Laura was a phenomenal player who made the team better, so why wouldn’t she be on every roster? For Laura, she was a good player in a sea of good players who all deserved a spot.

They had arguments, and times when they were both too stubborn and didn’t talk for days or weeks. There were times when Laura felt less than, and felt small standing next to the Marie-Philip Poulin. Of course, Marie never understood that either.

Things are better now, Laura is settled and confident in her skills. She doesn’t expect to get cut after every bad practice, and she doesn’t feel overshadowed by Marie. Yes, there’s still people who think she only got where she is because of Marie. People who think Montreal only signed her because they signed Marie first. But Laura knows what she brings to a team and she knows she deserves her spot. When Marie defends her, praises her, Laura doesn’t feel patronized. She knows Marie isn’t saying those things because she feels like she has to, or because she feels like she needs to appease Laura. Laura knows she says what she does because she loves Laura so much that she can’t stand to hear people criticizing her unfairly and she can’t stand people talking about her when they know nothing about her or her play.

Laura knows Marie sees a lot of herself in Y/N, but Laura thinks Y/N is a lot more like she is than Marie.

“Let her go,” Laura says, tugging Marie back down when Marie tries to storm after Y/N.

“But–”

“Give her space, you’re only going to yell at each other if you chase after her now.”

“She… She yelled at us! That’s… She’s… It was rude!”

“I know, love,” Laura gently rubs the space between Marie’s shoulder blades.

Laura knows it’s not the fact that Y/N yelled, it’s what she said that’s upsetting Marie.

“Let’s give her some time to calm down, and then I’ll go talk to her, see if I can figure out what’s going on.”

***

Y/N doesn’t emerge at all that night. Marie gets more and more sullen as the night goes on. Laura knows there’s nothing she can do when Marie is like this. They both can get in their heads and neither can let things go that easily, so Laura knows she just needs to let Marie sulk until she’s done sulking.

The next morning, Marie is still sulking. While Marie is out walking Arlo, Laura (even though she hates it normally) gets out of bed and prepares breakfast. She leaves two servings for herself and Marie and brings one serving up to Y/N’s room. She knocks lightly on the door.

“It’s just me, I’m leaving some breakfast here for you,” Laura says, “You can come down if you want, but you can stay in there for as long as you want.”

Y/N doesn’t come down, but Laura hears her open the door and take the plate. A little bit later, Marie comes home. Arlo gets halfway up the stairs before he realizes Laura is still downstairs. He leaps onto the couch and Laura laughs as he licks her face. Marie laughs too, but Laura can hear its strained.

“Is she still acting like a morveuse?” Marie says. Laura sighs.

“She is still upstairs, but she is not a brat,” Laura shushes Marie before she can start talking again, “She’s a 17-year-old girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders. All you ever talk to her about is hockey or Boston, it’s no surprise she thinks that’s all you care about.”

“That’s not true!” Marie says, “I’m trying to help–”

“Marie, I love you, but sometimes your help doesn’t help,” Laura puts her arm around Marie’s shoulder and pulls her closer. “I know you think you’re helping prepare her for the future, and I love that about you, you know that.” Laura pauses. “Can you see that Y/N is stressed about college and her future in hockey and sometimes having that be all you talk about doesn’t help her be less stressed.”

“All I wanted when I was her age was for someone to tell me what to do,” Marie says quietly, her voice thick.

“I know, baby, I know.”

***

Later in the afternoon, Marie takes Arlo on another walk. Laura has told her not to spoil him during the offseason so he doesn’t expect this treatment all the time, but Marie doesn’t listen, and Laura doesn’t push it today. While Marie is out, Laura goes up to Y/N’s room.

“It’s just me,” Laura says after she knocks, “Marie isn’t home, can I come in?”

After a moment, Y/N answers quietly: “Okay.”

Y/N is laying on the bed. Laura sits beside her.

“How are you doing?” Laura asks. Y/N shrugs.

“Is she really mad at me?” Y/N whispers.

“She was,” Laura answers, “She’s not mad at you anymore. She was only trying to help and she didn’t mean to upset you. Look,” Laura sighs, “When she was your age, she was so scared. She had no idea what to expect. All she wanted was for someone to tell her what she was supposed to do and she assumed you would be the same way. She just wants to make things easier for you. She really does feel bad that she upset you so much.”

“I don’t feel like I deserve it all,” Y/N says, “Like, it’s different for her, or you. I’m not that good and I just… I don’t think I’ll make it.” Y/N rolls over so her back is to Laura. “I don’t want to lose you both when you realize I’m not as good as you think.”

“When I first started seeing Marie, I felt the same way,” Laura says. Y/N’s head jerks towards Laura and she looks up at Laura with a confused expression. “I stopped talking to her, actually, because I didn’t feel good enough compared to her. I thought it would easier to break it off than wait for her to do it later on.”

“What happened?”

“Marie is more stubborn than anyone I’ve ever met,” Laura smiles as she thinks about her fiancée. Y/N huffs out a laugh at Laura’s statement. “She wouldn’t let me go without a reason, so I told her. And she told me I was being an idiot and she was right. Marie loves hockey, but hockey is the last thing on her mind when it comes to the people she loves.”

“I chose BU because that’s where she went,” Y/N says quietly, “I just want her to be proud of me.”

“She is, she is so proud of you. We both are.”

***

Later, when Marie comes home, Y/N sits nervously on the couch. She and Laura practiced this whole speech that Y/N would say to explain how she was feeling and why she was feeling that way and Y/N was determined to say it. She was still running it over in her head when she hears Marie come in, when she hears Marie let Arlo off the leash, when she hears Marie greet Laura and walk towards the living room. Y/N takes a deep breath to center herself and stands. Marie pauses when she sees Y/N. Y/N opens her mouth to begin, but what comes out of her mouth is this:

“Mama.”

And then Y/N is crying and she throws herself into Marie’s arms. Marie freezes for a second, then she’s wrapping Y/N up in a tight hug.

“Oh, mon petite lapinou,” Marie says, “It’s alright, I got you, it’s alright.”

“I’m sorry,” Y/N cries, “I’m sorry.”

“Non, non,” Marie says firmly, “You have nothing to be sorry about, I am the one who needs to apologize. I’m sorry I pushed you and I’m sorry I upset you and I’m sorry you felt like I didn’t care.”

When Y/N finally stops crying, Marie pulls back and takes Y/N’s face in her hands.

“Are you okay now, mon petite lapinou?” Marie asks.

“Yeah,” Y/N wipes at her eyes, but Marie swats her hands away and wipes the tears away herself, much gentler than Y/N would’ve. Marie gives Y/N a kiss on the forehead.

“From now on, we won’t talk about hockey at all unless you bring it up first, okay?” Marie says.

“You don’t have to do that,” Y/N says, “It’s okay–”

“There are lots of things that we can talk about that aren’t hockey,” Marie says, “Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now that that’s over,” Laura says, “Can we go back to enjoying Y/N’s visit?”

Marie and Y/N look at each other, and Y/N can see the same idea pop up in Marie’s head. They grin at each other then both turn to Laura. Laura realizes a moment too late and Marie and Y/N grab her and pull her down on the couch. Laura shrieks as Marie and Y/N wrestle her down. Almost immediately Arlo jumps on them and Y/N laughs so hard her sides hurt as Arlo alternates between licking Laura and Marie’s faces.

As Y/N watches Laura and Marie and Arlo wrestle on the couch, she’s really happy she took this trip, and she’s really happy she chose to play hockey and that it’s brought her to this moment right here.

[some-triangles]

I've been on tumblr since 2011, and this is technically a sideblog. My creative focus shifted over here, to - I guess what could loosely be referred to as fandom space? It was Homestuck's fault - many years ago, and I more or less consciously decided to shift the original blog's purpose from writing little bits of poetry about weird birds to finding bird videos on other platforms that I thought could go viral and reposting (stealing) them. (Always credited, of course. I'm not a monster.) This worked pretty well, and now I have 6000+ followers over there. Since I never use it to promote anything or for any purpose beyond birdposting I feel OK about this as an experiment. I mostly use it to people-watch.

The latest video I have gaining traction over there is one my friend Rat sent me (one of many friends who either found me through birds or Homestuck and each is equally plausible) in which a pelican at a petting zoo is forced to cough up the gosling it was attempting to swallow by a handler who has clearly had to deal with this many times before. She then frogmarches (birdmarches?) it away by its beak. Good stuff, and very on brand, as I've been warning people about the horrors of pelican vore for ages. (I even got my very own pervert for a while, an anon who kept badgering various bird blogs to write about what it might be like to be swallowed.) When something I post starts doing numbers I like to watch the notes and tags, because it fascinates me how people like to make the same jokes, over and over and over. Not even their own jokes. I have never fully understood this but it's undeniably foundational to the way the internet works. Like, I get dropping References in conversation - social glue and all that, fun and funny - but in a public forum? Where you could literally check and see how many people have said the same thing before you got to it? Baffling. Universal.

Anyway. We started slow with this one, and we had some discerning folks doing Democracy Manifest bits - succulent avian meal, and all that. As references go it's a pretty good one, as it has its own wikipedia page and everything, and it's timely with Jack Karlson's recent passing. There were a few I am Forcibly Escorted From tags, which is nice, since you don't hear that one much these days. A bunch of quotidian "she's so done" or "like a toddler being dragged by his ear" observations, mostly uninspiring, although the specificity of one person's "my mom dragging me into the church bathroom to whoop my ass" was worth sharing. A little bit of the classic concern trolling you get with any animal video - why indeed is this bird being kept in the same place as all these edible little guys? But, inevitably, because it is the perfect time to use it, most people went with "put baby in pelican mouth."

And the thing about this is that I know the person who wrote the original "put baby in pelican mouth" post. We met through tumblr. She was absolutely inspired by my pelican posting to write that piece, and I know that because we ended up dating. It ended badly, and I still have regrets about it, and now, every time I make a pelican post, I am treated to a choir of strangers - literally hundreds of them - repeating a joke which was written by my ex-girlfriend. It's straight from the ironic punishment division, really. But birdpost I must, and tagwatch I must.

Anyway, Nikki, if you're out there, hope you're doing well.

[lesmurples]

Welp, finally finished a normal/pacifist run of Deltarune’s newest chapters, so I guess I’m posting Sans Undertale theories in this wretched year of our lord 2025.

I’m rusty on the wild fan theorizing of ye olden days, but I remember there being something about Sans being from either another timeline or another world. I think it was mostly connected to the stuff you can find in his basement, some dialogue from the pacifist and genocide endings (stuff about how he “can never go back” and “will never see them again” - which granted, could be connected to him remembering past resets), and dialogue from the Snowdin shopkeeper that said the skeleton bros “just showed up one day” and not clarifying from where. This Reddit post includes a lot of the speculation I remember from the time.

There was also a theory that Gaster was based on a cut character called “Grandpa Semi” from an earlier Undertale concept, who might’ve then been replaced by Alphys. The idea was that in Undertale’s metafiction, a cut character is kind of like writing a character out of reality, as it’s suggested might have happened to Gaster (depending on how you interpret Goner Kid’s dialogue). Undertale is written essentially as a game that knows it’s a game, with its gameplay functions existing outright in the fictional world, so I could see something like this being the inspiration for all the Gaster/mystery man secrets.

So if we entertain this as a possible inspiration for Gaster, we could apply a similar meta interpretation to Sans and Papyrus. Back in the before-times when Deltarune Chapter 1 was released out of nowhere, Toby said that he’d originally been working on concepts for Deltarune when he eventually switched over into creating what would become Undertale. So Deltarune (and specifically its ending) was an early concept in this project, as were the characters of Sans and Papyrus. I don’t know if they were originally made for Deltarune or if Toby came up with them after switching over to Undertale, but if they were made for Deltarune originally, how could that be translated in-fiction considering the paratextual and metatextual relationship between Deltarune and Undertale?

Well, maybe Sans and Papyrus were originally from Deltarune’s world. Maybe they somehow ended up in Undertale through reality-breaking (game-breaking?) means. Maybe this is somehow connected to Gaster, who it’s theorized is related to them (he has weird dialogue font stuff going on as well). Maybe it’s a form of time-travel, or they jumped into an alternate reality.

If this very speculative idea were true, I’m not sure what the order of events would be. Is the new Sans Deltarune the OG Sans before he isekai’s into Undertale? Or from Sans’s perspective, did he isekai from his original world into Undertale, and now has isekai’d into a similar-but-inevitably-different version of his original world? Is this pre-Undertale Sans or Post-Undertale Sans? (or is it just Deltarune Sans and I’m a fool)

Unless there are some scenes I haven’t unlocked (I haven’t done the weird route or finished the secret bosses yet), we don’t see that much of Sans in Deltarune, and infuriatingly nothing of Papyrus. Mostly Sans is a mischievous new guy in town who’s ““befriending””” your mom, and I’ve only seen him possibly teleport once (when he’s fucking around with his signs while simultaneously making “hotdogs” in the next room). His store is super suss since it seems to be the only building asset from Undertale in town - aside from, of course, his house. Did he bring his house and Grillby’s bar to this world somehow? (Or maybe Grillby just had the same bar here, sold it to Sans, and Sans did barely any renovating as is his way.)

Also, the song “It’s Raining Somewhere Else”? That plays when Sans takes you to dinner and is super spooky?? And an echoey, far-off version of it plays at the end of Chapter 4??? And I was sitting there thinking “oh shit it was raining is this the ‘somewhere else’” AND THEN I LOOK UP THE SONG AND IT’S CALLED “THE PLACE WHERE IT RAINED” TOBY I SWEAR TO GOD-

Anyway, the other main thing I’m questioning is Sans’s door being present in the Dark World - it was always a suss door. Was it always the way he took shortcuts in Undertale? Did he bring it there with him from Deltarune somehow? Who can say.

For all I know this has already been disproven by alternate content in the game, but I dunno. Playing has been taking me back to the less-on-fire days of yore, when I absorbed tons of Sans theories instead of worrying about impending US fascism. All I can say is I’m watching you bone-man, you can’t hide from me. 👈👀

I will add that Susie creating her own Dark World in Chapter 4 really sets my brain on fire in terms of relating Deltarune to Undertale. Her Dark World being just slightly different from the one that existed before has to relate to Deltarune’s relationship with Undertale thematically, if nothing else. I’m really excited to see where all this goes, and also terrified of what things will look like in 3+ years if/when we see the ending. Hopefully a worker’s revolution, or getting closer to it. I guess like Susie, you gotta hope, even if the odds seem against you. (i’m not projecting onto the themes of deltarune UR projecting-)

[velvetwyrme]

doozi's transformers fic rec list round one!!

📚 FIC REC MASTERLIST

Ehehehe Transformers time. First round is all reader inserts because I love reader inserts and ik a lot of people who follow me here enjoy them too :] Next round will probably be a mix of other ship stuff (aka. anything but reader inserts LMAO)

For those of you who are new here, this will be VERY long. I like to chatter a LOT. And for those that have seen any of my other rec lists... you know what's up.

The STATUS of each fic is labelled as such: Finished, Ongoing/Unfinished, Discontinued or Indefinite Hiatus. Oneshots are also marked accordingly.

Fics with Explicit content and/or Dark themes have also been labelled to the best of my memory. (I don’t mark fics with suggestive themes/moments and no explicit smut, since I cant guarantee I’ll catch all of them. Similarly, unless there is consistent graphic death, gore, or other upsetting topics are central to the plot, I [probably] won’t mark it as "dark".)

I've also done my best to label each of these with which continuity they (broadly) exist in, if it's relevant. If it's not labelled it's likely because it's because I couldn't decide on a tag and/or it's set in an AU divorced enough from any specific continuity that I figured that a tag would just be a disservice to any sort of filtering. Either that, or I just missed it LMAO.

Also, usually I try not to include TOO many fics with explicit content in these lists because my blog isn't specifically 18+ but uhhhh some of these are Pretty Damn Explicit, so use your best judgement while reading and all that 👍

Please tread carefully while reading, check tags, take breaks, drink water and HAVE FUN <3

=========================

MULTICHAPTERS

Words and Wishes - [ IDW ] - Swerve/Reader - Finished

One of the first few TF fics I read!! I'm a big fan of first contact AUs and linguistics so I fell in love with this fic immediately. I also fell in love with Swerve immediately. He's SO freakin cute in this. I read it before finishing IDW and so when I eventually got to Swerve in the comics I was like "OHHH!!! That's Swerve!? My beloved shooting star..."

The author's other work in the series (same premise, different character), Fox in Shining Armor is also HELLA cute.

Reciprocated - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader - Finished

The reader has a teeny tiny lil crush on Soundwave, which he discovers while monitoring Autobot communications. He continues listening in and begins to feel the same :]!

This one makes me cry every time I read it, it's just SO sweet and lovely and just. AUGH!!! There's no words for how freakin CUTE it is. I've read it soooo many times.

Flick of the Wrist - [ IDW ] - Whirl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

More first contact crashlandings!! Except it's WHIRL which is so so fun. He causes much property damage and you wouldn't trade him for the world.

The Angel of Highway 49 - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

One of my favourite authors!!! I was so heckin excited when I realised they were posting Transformers fic LMAO.

And rightfully so! The fic is fantastic so far- Optimus becomes a sort of ghost story, a stranger who helps people along the highways. He's confusing and comforting and he's seemingly taken it upon himself to protect you.

Social Media Etiquette - [ TFA ] - Prowl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

The start of this is a really funny concept (buncha coworkers discussing which Autobot they'd bang) and then it just continues on being super super adorable and sweet. I love TFA!Prowl and I love the way he's written in this!!!

Swaps seamlessly between cute romantic trysts and the absolute chaos of other people watching these two wander into love.

winter of our youth - [ TFP ] - Ultra Magnus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Ultra Magnus accidentally ends up with a human companion who mostly wants to get back to their own life, only for both to become steadily more entangled. I absolutely adore the vibes in this fic- it feels slow, soft, and bright like a world muffled by snow.

west texas wind - [ G1 ] - Protectobots/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

By the same author as above! Protectobots my BELOVED. It's so soft and sweet and auuauauhghhh I need more. It updated while I was in the middle of writing this list and just ahh! I LOVE IT. So cute. So sweet. I love seeing the different characters reactions to each other and their actions- it's so fun.

You should also go check out their other fics, because the way they write character dynamics is sooo lovely, and their fics have been Nourishing me because I'm in love with a lot of characters that rarely get reader inserts :'> !!!

In particular I'm a fan of: haunt, invisible string, their prowl fics (<- two links!!!), AND also this set of oneshots; glory !

empurata - [ TFP ] - Shockwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

As a neutral party in all this war stuff, you just want to help fix up bots. This ends up endearing you to both factions, which results in you befriending one explosive Wrecker, and sometimes hosting a bunch of Decepticons in your garage.

TFP setting with a dash of IDW lore <3 I love the way the relationships develop in this fic- Shcokwaves emotions (or lack of) is always fun to explore, especially in the context of love and having Romantic Feelings. It gets even more complicated when the thing preventing him from feeling things begins to malfunction...

Small Hands - [ TFP ] - Optimus/Reader, Ratchet/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Soulmate AU!! Oohoho I love soulmate AUs... having THIS one be handprints is an especially fun, considering the size difference !!! Also, I love the way Cybertronian soulmates work :0

OP and the reader interacting and slooooowly figuring things out is very sweet.

knock us down and we'll keep on going - [ TFP ] - Knock Out/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Who knew deleting your ex off of social media would lead to you getting kidnapped by a car then falling for said car? KO and the reader get to be an iconic bi4bi couple, and you also get a cat! Who's totally normal and not a decepticon. Very very cute, funny, and also angsty in parts in a really good way (Breakdown... he only shows up in mentions but my HEART ;w;)

Series is ongoing, but the fics are finished :]

Breaking Bread - [ TFP ] - Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Some sorta warning for the SHEER AMOUNT OF HORNY that the characters experience in this (/appreciative)]

There is no way I can make a TF fic rec list and NOT include the fic that made me SO unwell about TFP Soundwave before I got into Transformers. Phenomenal writing, snappy dialogue and absolute CHAOS and CHEMISTRY (both of the romantic and literal kind).

The various animal-related descriptors of all the bots are cemented in my brain as well as several playlists worth of music. My Spotify will never recover.

I was already attached to Soundwave from the start, but my absolute favorite animals are jellyfish, so when that parallel was drawn, I swooned even harder... ALAS. *gives a sad, sidelong glance at the main ship tag*

Also, I'm in love with the Anime-Waifu-Madness-slash-Marriage-Counselling-Arc that's going on at the moment because HOW did we get here and WHY does it work so well????

Fortuna Primigenia - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Same author as the previous fic! I originally read this immediately after catching up with Breaking Bread and it absolutely destroyed me (and my sleep schedule)!! I cried!! So much!!!!! AHHHHHH!!! Fascinating concepts, and wonderful execution. Makes me want to eat drywall.

ALSO while I'm here, you should also read Blackbird [E] because the reader realising their "metal Adonis" is a "liar and a pussy" made me laugh so hard I cried for a different reason and it's also really good my god.

50% Plant Based - [ TFP ] - Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

HYSTERICAL fic. Really funny. The reader is a menace and I'm living for it. You haunt the Nemesis and somehow seduce Megatron with your Silly Guy wiles, and also by bullying Starscream. The reader is incapable of expressing any genuine emotion without like 10 layers of Humor on top of it, which is hilarious when combined with an overly poetic warlord who feels every emotion with the dramatics of a Shakespearean play.

And I met you in the rain - [ G1-ish ] - Prowl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Prowl is down bad for a human that he's been seeing in his dreams and gets the chance to save her when he happens upon her in the rain. This fic reminds me of a romance movie in the best ways.

Romantic Mixtape Side A - [ G1-ish ] - Con Cassettes/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

You kiss a buncha cassettes after one of them crashes through your wall! Domestic and cute for the large part- you get them to all be nicer to each other sjkdfhskjdf

Slice of life, but with big alien bots <3

Revelboo's Fic Collection - Misc./Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Go read Revelboo's fics now!!! She updates So Fast it scares me. But I'm eating them up like candy because each installment is bite sized and delicious.

My favourites so far are the fics for Jazz, Sunstreaker+Sideswipe, Bluestreak, Thundercracker, ES!Megatron, Rumble and Prowl but oh my god every single one of them is amazing. OH AND THE ONE WITH THE SCAVENGERS. If you think that's a long list of characters, that's because the actual list of ongoing fics is EVEN LONGER.

They're also up on Ao3 if you prefer to read stuff there :]!!

D-16 (Megatron) x Reader – The Creature From Another World - [ TFOne ] - D16 | Megatron/Reader - Finished

Have I mentioned I love language barriers? It's so fun. Everyone thinks you're a fun little creature... until you get your translator fixed of course :]

The ending of this is so perfectly tragic and it fits so well with D-16's transition into becoming Megatron!!

Canary in a Coal Mine - [ TFP ] - Shockwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains dark themes]

The Decepticons won and have taken over Earth, enslaving humanity and leaving razed ground in their wake. Your voice is the only thing you truly have to yourself any more,

This fic leaves a bitter and gritty taste in your mouth. I love it.

Crosscheck on Angels 10 - [ TFP ] - Starscream/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

After Starscream strikes it out on his own, you end up becoming an unexpected light in the darkness for him, much to the concern of Ratchet.

I really like how Arcee's anger is portrayed in this- it feels so visceral.

They Just Wanted to Relax - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

You work with automobiles and one day you begin getting a buncha weeeeeeird customers. I love the reader slowly putting the pieces together. It's so fun.

Metal Lung - [ TFP ] - Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

This one is just starting out and I'm HOOKED already. The premise is fantastic, and it's paired with some extremely evocative writing.

The reader is an agent of MECH who ends up infiltrating the Decepticons after signing their death sentence and stepping inside the MECHA they've been working on...

Adrift in the Lagoon - [ IDW ] - Mer!Drift/Reader - Finished

Mermechs...... Drift as a mermech... *swoons* be still my beating heart!! He's really freaking cute in this, I wanna kiss him and smoosh his cheeks.

TwinTails - [ G1-(f)ish ] - Mer!Sideswipe/Reader, Mer!Sunstreaker/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Captive mer fic >:]c !!! You're a scientist who works with Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, helping them and growing closer. You eventually help them escape of course, but that comes with it's own slew of problems.

I!! Love!! Language barriers!!! And this does not disappoint! I'm fascinated and delighted by the eventual work around for the language barrier as well, because it's nit perfect but it works and it's so cool to see both Sideswipe and Sunstreaker finding their own ways to communicate and connect with the reader in this.

Smut is skippable in this, but why would you want to do that? It's amazing :3c

Marine Centre -Merformers AU - Misc./Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Even MORE mer fic. This one has a wider cast of mer which is DELIGHTFUL because you get to see all the different personalities interacting. Also I saw that there's more content with the ladies planned later so I'm DOUBLY excited 💖

Full Throttle - [ G1-ish ] - Starscream/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

You're a janitor tasked with cleaning up after the unethical experiments the military are performing on Starscream, and end up growing close to him as you treat him kindly :]

Gravity - [ G1-ish ] - Starscream/Reader - Finished

Same author as previous! This time you're one of the scientists tasked with studying Starscream and he gets to be a tremendous menace the entire time. I love that in many ways, he's studying you too.

Displeasures of the Flesh - [ IDW ] Human!Kaon/Reader, Human!Vos/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Gore and horror themes] [Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

This is humanformers but it's humanformers if they were FORMERLY bots and that in itself is enough to sell me on the concept because DUDE hell yeah ??

Anyway I love these fucked up little guys. They've got to reckon with suddenly becoming human, and you've got to deal with THEM.

Best Job Ever - [ Bayverse/ROTB ] Mirage/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

CARWASHING EHEHEHE. You get a certain customer who keeps requesting you wash his car... and well, the second chapter is explicit :]

Hit Me Hard (Hit Me Fast) - [ TFP ] Knock Out/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Sometimes the cute guy you've been talking to turns out to be a talking walking car alien, and you have Feelings about that!!

Decadence - Starscream/Reader, Shockwave/Reader, Soundwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Gore and horror themes]

I absolutely love the descriptions in this fic. Deliciously disgusting, it's not for the light of heart. Everything in this fic feels Squishy and visceral and I love it.

You're a paramedic, called to the sight of a grisly and unusual accident. Even more unusual is the giant metal angel who appears to terrorize you.

sugar (daddy), oh, honey honey - [ TFA ] - Swindle/Reader - Oneshot

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

The DYNAMIC between Swindle and the reader in this one. My god. MY GOD. He's your sugar baby essentially kjhfksjfh,, it's a mutually beneficial agreement!! I would let my bank account get drained by him.

"Improving alien relations" sounds better than "a really nice hook-up" - [ IDW ] - Swerve/Reader - Oneshot

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

The title is self explanatory sdjfhskdfh <3 You're a human in a mech suit and Swerve's got his holoform going... I'd make a joke but the author already did that in the summary LOL. He's such a sweetheart...

To live, and to serve - [ TFOne ] - Sentinel Prime/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

TFOne!Sentinel Prime is his own warning- the relationship is Not Good At All but it is so fun to read. He's so awful and I wanna kiss him. Grahhh I love this nasty man!!!

To Endure - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Timeloops my BELOVED. The reader gets stuck in a timeloop along with Soundwave. Both of them are working towards opposite outcomes and the reader decides they're going to make it Soundwave's problem. Humans are squishy after all...

I love the push and pull between Soundwave and the reader in this <3

Our thoughts are all mechanical - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

You're suffering from energon poisoning, and the only cure? Cuddles!! No, like, legit. You get many many medically incurred cuddles.

Very very sweet fic! So much mutual pining... 💖!!

Enough - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Finished

Things end happily but ehehehe I am eating up the sweet sweet misunderstandings and angst in this fic. Makes me want to vibrate out of my seat.

To Fake a Funeral - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader, Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Another newer fic! It's just started out but it's so good already... the reader is Jack's sister and gets into a bunch of shenanigans when she returns to Jasper on a temporary break from college. Like getting captured so you csn fix up the comatose leader of the Decepticons and meeting the Autobots who your little brother has been hanging out with.

Klik away - [ IDW2/G1 ] - Prowl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Prowl gets saddled with a very unfortunate human until they can be returned to earth. Despite their differences, both end up growing fond of each other :]

ALSO. GREEN IS HERE. 🥺✨ Baby baby baby I love her!!

~* Gladiators of Kaon *~ - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader, Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content...?]

Rhhghdgh I'm not all the way caught up on this one yet (thus the question mark in the warning. I Know it's coming) but I'm adding it anyway because what I HAVE read I'm in love with. It's set before the war, so we get gladiators Megatron and Soundwave >:33c!! Also I'd put my life on the line for Swindle. He's such a little GUY.

The author's other series Butterfly Effect [E] (ft. a human reader) is also really good!!

The Darkest Hour (Optimus x You) - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

I'm really enjoying where this is going so far >:3c! The reader is a reporter who is dedicated to uncovering the truth, but is also prone to lying in order to get where the information they need ;] I'm so unwell over their dynamic in this fic.

Burn a hole in the old grip of the familiar - [ TFP ] - Ultra Magnus/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Auuauuiahgh Ultra Magnus..... after getting into a fight with Knock Out within sight of a human, he ends up with you as a companion. Groundbridge is broken, so cue a very long, unplanned roadtrip. It's sooo good.

Spilling Sugar - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader, Shockwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Poly!!! Triad!!!!!!! Soundwave/Reader/Shockwave!!! They are sooooo cute. I love polyamory negotiations and figuring things out and AHHH I JUST LOVE THEM BOTH DEARLY. The reader teaching Shockwave texting shorthand and emotes is so cute... AUUIGGHD MY HEART auuuauuhgh.

More reader inserts need to let me kiss multiple characters and for them to kiss each other. Love is love is love. Where are all the TF poly reader inserts I need more!!!

=========================

ONESHOTS

Universal Constant - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series

Series of soulmate oneshots!! I love these. I especially enjoyed the ones for Fulcrum, TFP Ratchet, Dratchet (!!! YES!! POLY!!!!) and TFA Prowl <3

One to One - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series

More!! Soulmate oneshots!! I love all of them :']]!!!! They're all just really really good I can't pick any favorites skdjfjkhfh

Locks To Fit the Keys - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series

This one has it so that Cybertronians can only transform once they find their soulmate- as such, locks, keys... there are so many oneshots in this collection and I adore all of them. This was another one I read before I got into TF LMAO so it was fun going back and rereading them now I know who everyone is XD

Also, not all of these have happy endings >:3c!!! Many do, but not all, and I love that!!

Passing thoughts; obscurest bots - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series

A series dedicated to lovin on obscure bots and side characters!! I've linked it to the SFW edition, which includes Defensor and Pipes, both of whom I love dearly.

Poly-Combaticons X Reader – Hostage - [ G1 ] - Combaticons/Reader - Oneshot

Wanna smooooch a gestalt? I wanna smooch a gestalt. You're taken hostage and this bunch ends up growing fond of you, and decide to break you out because you're theirs now.

Code: LOVE - [ G1 ] - Prowl/Reader - Oneshot

KJRAHRJKHFJF I love this one so much. The reader dresses up in a sexy police outfit for Prowl, except he's kinda oblivious, something that the rest of the base is more than happy to clear up for him, much to his and your detriment. It's extremely funny and cute.

Can't Keep Up - [ TFA ] - Blurr/Reader - Oneshot

You find out your best friend and racing partner IS the car he drives when you're unexpectedly ambushed by Decepticons.

softest spot to sleep in - [ G1 ] - Ratchet/Reader - Oneshot

Titties........... medically prescribed titties... !! Very cute, very soft. I want this to be real... Like Ratchet's boobs

Making Space - [ TFP ] - Optimus/Reader - Oneshot

You spend some time sitting in a very intimate position as Optimus does desk work. He places you between his legs and I'm. hrhghjkjfjkks,, thighs.

RELIC I JUST REALISED YOU WROTE THIS ONE. I'VE BEEN UNWELL OVER IT FOR SO LONG. THIGHS. MY GOD.

Copy - [ IDW ] - Rodimus/Reader - Oneshot

The reader has a very fun power in this >:3c I won't spoil it because I think it's better experienced, but oh my god the bit at the end where the reader's reveal fails at first had me in stitches. Really fun and very cute.

kindness - [ IDW ] - Sunstreaker/Reader - Oneshot

Sunstreaker is freakin ADORABLE in this <3!! It's set on the Lost Light as well, which is a rarity that I love.

Our Shirt - [ IDW ] - Spinister/Reader - Oneshot

I'm a sucker for Spinister!!! My beautiful dumbass heli!! Short and sweet akjhsdkjf

Booty Shorts - [ IDW ] - Whirl/Reader - Oneshot

WHIRL IN BOOTY SHORTS, WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?

Based off of this fantastic piece of artwork! I think this was the one of the first times I read anything relating to Whirl and it was such a delightful introduction.

The Concept of Cohabitation - [ G1 ] - Combaticons/Reader - Oneshot

Reader is dating Swindle, but due to Combiner Feels, the others end up feeling the same way, and well... you're not complaining ;]! Focus is on Onslaught in this, but the other ships are very much implied.

The Last Time This Happened Megatron X Reader - Megatron/Reader - Oneshot

The reader is a dimension hopper, and gets stuck in a cave with Earthspark!Megatron. You've seen him die again and again throughout dimensions, and now... it might be your turn. Very sweet and sad... the reader carrying the weight of half a dozen histories is so good.

This Is Not A Negotiation - [ IDW(SG) ] - Shattered Glass!Rodimus/Reader - Oneshot

Shattered Glass Rodimus... I love him despite his shitty little moustache. The reader runs around in a mech suit and he doesn't realise that they're human until both of them catch Feelings >:)))!!! Really really fun premise, and deliciously written.

Scout and Medic - [ TFP ] - Arcee/Reader - Oneshot

You're Arcee's partner and the two of you get the chance to reunite on Earth! Short and sweet :D

Fated Nonsense - [ TFP ] - Knock Out/Reader/Breakdown - Oneshot

Unrequited pining? Kinda? Essentially the reader keeps running into two handsome cars and they pine for the funny little human they keep seeing around. Very very cute, even though you don't know they aren't just cars. WAIT I JUST REALISED THAT THIS IS THE SAME AUTHOR AS RECIPROCATED HANG ON-

Woke Up In A Safe House, Singing - [ TFP ] - Airachnid/Reader - Oneshot

Because of that realisation, I also now have more fics to add to the list!! AIRACHNID MY BELOVED. I absolutely adore how intimidating but gentle she is in this fic. Very very sweet. Get you a big spider lady to treat you right!!!!

Alien Parenting 101 - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader - Oneshot

You are babysitting your roommates kid and are summoned to the Nemesis, where nobody is immune to Cute Baby. I'm gonna cry it's so cute...!!!

Of All The Mechs... - [ TFA ] - Starscream/Reader - Oneshot

Your gaze ends up lingering a little too long on the enemy. Little baby me is cheering and whooping at the back of my brain because TFA Starscream was my fav when I was a kid.

Butterscotch - [ TFA ] - Prowl/Reader - Oneshot

Cuteeeeee. Movie night with a very smitten Prowl who doesn't know what to do with himself. Cuddles ensue <33 Soooo so cute!!!

Pen And Paper - [ TFA ] - Prowl/Reader - Oneshot

Seems like Megatron has an admirer... he takes it upon himself to find out whoever has been leaving him such detailed and beautiful artworks. SO CUTE.

Hypothetically speaking - [ IDW ] - Rodimus/Reader - Oneshot

So... hypothetically speaking, if there was a fic that was super cute and funny about the reader hypothetically liking Rodimus in which they decide to confess to him in hypotheticals...well, hypothetically, would you read it? (The fic is filled with hypotheticals and silly cuteness!!)

Take a Break - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Oneshot

Very cute!! You force Ratchet to take a break for once, and the two of you spend some time watching the sunset :]!

Swoop - [ G1 ] - Thundercracker/Reader - Oneshot

He's so smooth in this!!! My little heart can't take it!! Smooth moves TC, smooth moves. So cute!

Runway 19 - [ G1/IDW-ish ] - Jazz/Reader - Oneshot

A soft, slow fic which details the growing tension between a government agent and their car. The quiet intimacy of this fic kills me, it's sooo good...

=========================

PLATONIC & AMBIGUOUS

Platonic reader inserts!! Because I love them and I think they should get more attention <3 (Also includes fics which are tagged with both / and &, or otherwise ambiguously romantic/platonic fics)

In Media Bellum - [ TFP ] - Ongoing/Unfinished

This fic has me in a vice grip. I love love love the mysteries and the dynamics between the reader and the other characters. It's so fascinating to see the dynamics unfold. This fic makes me feel so many things!!!

Sparkless - [ TFP ] - Ongoing/Unfinished

You get a Vehicon friend and a lot of scares along the way :]!! I love! Fics like this!!!

Critter - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader || Soundwave&Reader - Oneshot

Giant metal creatures can be scary, no matter how well meaning or kind they might be. Soundwave finds the reader after an Incident with the Autobots, and he is very attentive and gentle with them. Makes me feel soft!!

Too Close For Comfort - [ IDW ] - Rodimus&Reader - Finished

Language barriers >:3c!!!!! Mmmm Rodimus thinking of himself as heroic when he's unintentionally the opposite is one of my favourite flavours of Rodimus, and this series tackles that in a really fun way. The opposing perspectives are SO good and I love that the same scene is seen in such different ways by characters. The tension that grows throughout the series is So good.

I especially enjoyed Sparkbeat, A Game of Mech and Mouse AND ALSO Darkness is Honest, Are You to Yourself? because I love hopeful endings <3

Playing With His Food - [ TFP ] - Starscream/Reader - Oneshot

You get into a dogfight with an unusual sort of plane and Starscream finds himself a new toy of sorts :3c I really enjoy that there's a language barrier but we as the audience still get to know what Starscream is saying. AUGH I love the dialogue. So good.

Snow Angel - [ G1 ] - Skyfire&Reader - Oneshot

You get lost in the snowy wilderness, but luckily you are found by some sort of angel... I looooove this so much. I love the delayed reaction the reader has because of the cold... and Skyfire is so gentle, it makes my heart skip a beat every time I read this.

Ignition - Ratchet&Reader - Finished

More first contact stuff!!! Ratchet stumbles across an injured human after crash landing on Earth. He tries to help, with mixed results. Again, I'm a big fan of language barriers, and I enjoyed Ratchet figuring out how to help the human to the best of his ability without being abke to properly communicate at the beginning. The moment when commutation IS established is also very funny to me sbfjdbdk

I love Transformers. I love Stardew Valley. This fic mashes them both together in a really fun way!! You, as per Stardew Valley fashion, inherit your grandfather's farm, except you end up finding a dog and a strange... doll? One becomes many and soon you have the entire (tiny!) Lost Light crew living with you.

The Season of the Smallest Stars - [ IDW/Stardew Valley Crossover ] - Ongoing/Unfinished

Supremely cute. I love all the little adventures everyone gets to go on.

The Tyrant's Consideration - [ Earthspark ] - Megatron/Terran!Reader || Megatron&Terran!Reader - Oneshot

Crashout Relations - [ G1-ish ] - Thundercracker/Reader || Thundercracker&Reader, Seeker Trine&Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

I came across this one while putting the list together and I'm so glad for it- it's brilliant and tense so far. A big blue seeker crashes into your backyard and flees (drags himself) into your barn. Your plan of moving to a farm so you'd be left alone doesn't seem to be working out too well...

Very very sweet!! The reader is a Terran who is selectively mute, and they have a run in with Megatron, who turns out to be much less scary than you imagined.

I've included this here because the fic contents isn't Specifically Romantic, and also from what I understand of ES, the Terrans are usually portrayed to have a familial relationship to the Cybertronians, but please correct me if I'm wrong!!

Neon-Green Spandex Missile - [ TFP ] - Ongoing/Unfinished

You're a Cybertronian(?) who transforms into a BIKE and your name is... the title. No, seriously that's how you introduce yourself and it's great. Very fun fic!

I.O.U - [ IDW ] - Tarn&Reader - Finished

Weird fae rules and worlds??? Strange size-swapping magics?? Sign me UP. Tiny Tarn is So angy but cute. I adore characters getting tied to one another via unintentional magical pact, it's so fun...

These Caves We Venture Through - [ G1/Earthspark ] - Megatron&Reader, Sideswipe&Reader - Finished

=========================

Series ongoing, fics are finished! You're a kid who stumbles across Megatron while off exploring. Years later, you encounter him again. Very sweet and melancholic at times.

OKAY that's all I've got for reader inserts that aren't just... purely explicit content LMAO.

If I included those I'd be here forever, but yknow, if you are interested in seeing that list... let me know and I'll smash one together in the future (on my. other blog of a sqwyrme-ier sort.) Either way, I'll be putting together the list of other ship fics next :]

Also!! If you have any recs for me, please feel free to drop by my inbox!! I'd love to read them <3

[darklink82]

Netflix Devil May Cry review

I've taken a break from the overall discourse and replayed Devil May Cry 3 to get the bad taste out of my mouth and I've come to a realization, there are aspects of this show that could have been used to make a great Devil May Cry story...for Nero.

(Breathes in)

The Terrible Shit.

God there is so much stuff in this show that was flatly terrible to include from the outset and I'm gonna need to clear that out from discussion to move forward so...here goes.

The deliberate and blatant allegories for the Iraq War and immigration were terrible ideas and it's pretty clear that they were written by someone who was trying to be "neutral" on immigration and superficially against the Iraq War...let me explain

Immigration

The show presents the idea that many of the demons in the demon world are weak humanoids who can barely breathe the air there due to "pollution" of some kind. It also posits that all demons are descended from humans who were trapped in the demon world thousands of years ago so they are practically just cute monster people being oppressed by Mundus and the ugly and monstrous demons who are also seemingly also descended from humans too...I guess. Anyway, to get into the allegory issues, this presents an explicit scenario where some pitiable "demons" try to escape into earth for a better life and some monstrous "demons" try to sneak into earth, seemingly just to kill and maim people...I can't be the only one here who sees how fucked this is as an allegory right. To top it all off there is a scene where the barrier between the human world and the demon world is taken down and it results in a near apocalyptic massacre, which would be fine in a story that just about fighting demons but this is also a story where demons are mutants trying to escape to a better life so the allegory also becomes "open borders will result in white genocide". It's a bad allegory done badly and I couldn't stop thinking about how bad it is. ONTO THE NEXT TERRIBLE ALLEGORY

Operation Iraqi Demonic Makaian Freedom

So beyond the terrible immigration allegory they also threw in some War on Terror comparisons too....yippee. It is never subtle about this, the first episode has the president of the United States get briefed on Terrorist Demons while he complains that the last guy only had to complain about Saddam, There is a scene where the US military engages in mass murder of innocent demonic men, women, and children with machine guns and portable crematoriums, and it ends with the US military invading the demon world, killing everyone indiscriminately, and establishing private resource mining operations to the tune of American Idiot by Green Day.... and I have to be honest, it feels like all of that was justify having a scene where the US military does atrocities to the tune of American Idiot rather than to make any kind of coherent statement about anything. U.S. Military Bad may be a correct statement but what does any of this have to do with Devil May Cry?

The Bad Shit.

Dante feels like a MacGuffin in this story. He does get some of the better fight scenes but he is also constantly getting knocked out and tied up somewhere 4 times in this 8 episode season. This leaves him separated from the rest of the plot and he mostly just has cool action scenes, but little character development or connections to the themes that the story is (poorly) exploring. I also hate to sound like one of the usual suspects but he shows Quicksilver level speed early on in the story but Lady keeps being able to get the drop on him over and over and over to the point that it's just stupid.

The White Rabbit is a fun and well acted villain who is genuinely unique as far as Devil May Cry antagonists go...until he is revealed to be a human with the most bog standard "I am an ally/member of [DISCRIMINATED GROUP] but I was victimized and driven insane by the actions of [DISCRIMINATING GROUP] so now I will kill them all no matter how many [DISCRIMINATED GROUP] I have to kill along the way" type villains. He even gets a massive power boost and becomes a generic hulk monster. There was so much potential with him but he just ends up boring and standard.

They turned Lady into an IDF Soldier...I don't want her to get a redemption arc, I want Dante to knock her out and leave her in a crematorium truck for the rest of the next season.

Changing all the magic into "quantum physics" is boring as all hell. And it isn't even humans trying to use science to explain demonic magic, the demons explicitly say it's quantum physics as well. The games always had some magitek around but it was never explained and mostly just added to the mystique of the locations, making it explicit science ruins that. It's also just boring on its own, makes everything feel less special.

The CGI demons were distracting, they contrasted way too much from the admittedly excellent 2D animation for me to stop noticing it.

I personally found the decision to make all the "innocent" demons into humans with weird bits and all the "evil" demons into monstrous creatures offensive and cowardly for what should be obvious reasons. The only "monstrous" demon that has redeeming qualities is the one that can shape shift into a human.

They overstuff the ending of the season in such a way that I can't see a good and coherent season 2 that can juggle ALL of the plot threads that they create at the last minute. We have:

The US military invading Hell and doing war crimes

Arius and the Oroborous company strip mining hell, likely connecting to Lucia's (whitewashed) cameo in episode one

Vergil either working for Mundus willingly or being brainwashed and creating demonic ISIS

Dante needing to escape DARKCOM's custody and acquire Ebony and Ivory

Lady's redemption arc

Dante and Vergil's rivalry

It's just gonna be a mess.

Nitpicks and fan rage

The demons get offended when their homeworld is called hell or the demon world. Instead they call it Makai....which is Japanese for Demon World. That's just lazy.

Agni & Rudra are objectively worse than they are in the games, being just generic dumb monsters wielding swords rather than being cordial sentient swords wielding bodies.

I don't mind cursing but holy shit does Lady curse too much in this show, to a very distracting degree.

If Dante ever gets serious in this show then I only hear Nero. Sorry, Johnny Yong Bosch is just too iconic for me not to hear it.

Vergil says that he is the storm and then he approaches all over them.....we get that Bury the Light is a fucking magnificent theme but that was fucking ridiculous.

The licensed soundtrack was honestly distracting at times but that's gonna be hot or miss for people.

The Good Shit

The IDEA of there being a larger number of good or benign demons in the demon world is actually an interesting one, and the idea that many would want to go to earth so that they could escape the oppression that they experience in the demon world is something worthy of exploring in Devil May Cry. I can even see an argument that Sparda sealing off the realms did effectively prevent many demons from "waking up to justice" the same way he did. There is even plenty of support for benign and friendly demons in the games and 2007 anime. Cerberus, Agni & Rudri, and arguably Nevan from Devil May Cry 3 are fairly cordial and honorable, they just oppose Dante because it's their duty and willingly join up with him after they are defeated. Brad from the 2007 Anime was summoned to bring his monstrous master into the world but changed his ways after experiencing both love for another as well as the joy and freedom of life on earth. Modeus was a student of Sparda who chose to become a pacifist, seemingly having been on earth long enough to gain preferences about strawberry sundaes. And then there are Trish and Lucia, one only needing a single act of kindness from Dante to completely turn on Mundus and the other being a full demon raised by humans. My main issue with the way the show handled is that it reeks of cowardice and "shitty magneto writing"

The 2D animation is genuinely great giving us fun visuals and great action scenes.

The first few episodes had a lot of fun and energy to them but the severe vibe changes in Episode 5 are gonna make or break the series for a lot of people.

Episode 6 was honestly pretty good even though it felt somewhat out of place in the story, serving primarily to compare and contrast Lady and the White Rabbit's back stories until they finally collide in tragedy. Its biggest drawbacks are that it doesn't feel like a proper part of the show while also being the primary source that confirms that Lady is indeed party to war crimes. They started gunning down civilians before the portal even opened.

Theoretical alternative show that would have fucking rocked

If you already have Johnny Yong Bosch you should at least look into having him play the character he already plays and Nero would have actually been a really good character for some of this plot...as long as they got rid of the overt Americanization of the story.

Nero is a part demon orphan who was raised by a loving, human, foster family who lost his foster parents to a demon attack. This and other demon related tragedies eventually result in him embracing his demonic side so that he can use that power to protect his family and others. During the events of Devil May Cry 4 he learns that the local Sparda worshiping cult has been transforming humans into demonic hybrids and that he is related to Sparda by blood somehow. After taking down the corrupt church and accepting his demonic power he settles down as a demon hunter and eventually becomes a foster father to a group of children who were orphaned during the events of Devil May Cry 4.

The White Rabbit is a human orphan who was rejected by his human foster family before finding his way into the demon world before being adopted a kind family of weaker demons. The loss of his adopted sister to the cruelty and harshness of the demon realm inspires him to find a way to bring his foster family and other weaker demons to the human realm where they can be safe. However, an organized group of human demon hunters slaughter everyone he was trying to save, leading him to inject himself with demon blood and make an alliance with demon lords for revenge against them, regardless of how many of those he once tried to save will die in the process.

The parallels are RIGHT FUCKING THERE Come On.

By primarily replacing Lady and Dante with Nero you could focus the story on a single person's journey and reactions to everything going on, especially if you are going to stick to an 8 episode format. Instead of retreading DMC 3 they could create a more original story and show how Nero resolves problems without Dante or Vergil around. (you can also have him stop the mass murder in episode 5 cause that was gratuitous and just...not something I wanted to see in a Devil May cry show)

Anyway, way too long rant over. Have fun.

[wenclexa4ever]

I’ve been so unbelievably busy and beaten up by life, I haven’t been able to work on my fanfics hardly at all and I’m super annoyed.

My mother decided to have emergency surgery during Christmas (she’s fine now, mostly) and my family and I have been so busy with that, that I have had no time to write. Even though I’ve wanted to.

Ok, that’s not entirely true, I have written some stuff, but I’ve not been able to finish anything I’ve been working on. I was meaning to post this update for a while (like 3 months ago), but I just haven’t done it yet, so here it is!

Anyway, even though my father has decided to also have surgery (planned) soon, I wanted to say: I am still working on “What A Tangled Web We Weave.” And I’m hoping to post chapter two soon. But, I have a stupid schedule and horrible time management skills, so I don’t know when it will come. But, soon… hopefully… maybe.

[abyssalzones]

art summary for 2024 ^_^ just used a template I pulled off deviantart this time, maybe next year I'll feel up to making something a little fancier. (more talking below)

overall I'm very happy with all I've managed to accomplish this year (ignoring the college-shaped gap in the middle) but I'm really looking forward to getting more done in terms of my large-scale projects in 2025... for a while I thought I was going to leave art as a side hobby while becoming invested in a different career but realizing that was going to make me miserable for the rest of my life has really re-ignited my passion for art. I could potentially be someone other than an artist and a storyteller, but I don't want to be.

with that in mind I plan on expanding things irt my online presence because I've never been very good at.. "marketing" myself... and I don't know how much that will change since I enjoy having a little authentic place here on tumblr to post art and blog at the same time, but I do have plans to open a patreon soon and maybe start selling prints. patreon would mostly be a place where I put short "bonus" comics, I still want my comics to be largely accessible to the public but sometimes I draw stuff and think "nah I don't think the public should get this one for free." it'd also be a good way to give people glimpses of WIPs as I work on projects that take a lot of time.

speaking of WIPs, I really really really want to finish this big d&d&md comic some time in the next few months since I started it all the way back last summer and it's been waylaid by... my starting irl college. ironically.

it's one of my favorite comics I've made so far and I think it'd be a huge loss if I just let it languish or didn't bother to fully finish it the way I'd been intending to. it also has a cool wizard battle in it. so, that's neat I think.

finally I really want to work on escape velocity, particularly making it more accessible to people. I always find myself in this awkward position where I'm never really sure how to talk about something I've been working on for seven (eight??) years without giving away too much, or without sacrificing the time I'm spending on writing and eventually Drawing it to make promotional stuff that gets people interested. I'm still working on a solution for that but in the meantime I plan on finishing up the basic plot outlines for the first act, then once that's done and I've written up dialogue for the first chapter I can get to work on DRAWING. yay!!!!!

anyway, thank you to anyone who has supported me and enjoyed my art this year :] expect more to come... soon...

[trashisstillhere]

Hey uh….remember that swap au for the NN AU that I did for April fools?

Well….i may or may have not have been writing a few stuff for it and all and well…

Quickly made some doodles for it in the process..

Tho these doodles are more rushed and such which is why they might seem a bit off compared to my other doodles… that’s cuz I’m a little tired today egh,,

But I still really wanted to at least make a few doodles for it so yeah….

Quick explanation: this NN Swap AU thing is just where only Nobu and Hajime is swapped. Their roles have been swapped so Hajime’s the new ninja while Nobu is now ‘Akarui’ the chaos demon…thing… both their personalities are still the same and their stories goes a bit different from the original NN AU as well!

Also in this swap au, Hajime is a teen. (Og Hajime is a young adult, 20 years old.) Nobu on the other hand, still is 14 years old… which is why they don’t seem THAT different…expect for Akarui.

And now…here is the stuff I’ve written about these two-

…….

Swap! Kurai Hajime Igarashi

——

- a 14-15 year old guy and the new 9th grader that thought that being in Norrisville high would only make his life more tiring, only to be proven wrong later on.

- is pretty much the same height as Randy, yet Martin still is a bit taller then him.

- his whole family, the Igarashi family, is still strict like the original but without the dark and harsh stuff and most of them are doctors/nurses, workaholics (like Nobus parents in the original). They wanted their own son to be one as well in order to be ‘successful’ in the future but he still till this day, refuses.

- similar to og! Hajime, Swap! Hajime is very interested in supernatural and ‘spooky’ stuff such as yokais, amazed by nature, but now also interested in more things than that! Hell, just like og! Nobu, he even likes to draw now!

- This Hajime in his life, ever since childhood, often struggled with getting to do things for him self, things he ACTUALLY wanna do, barely having any free will all because of his families strictness. He has snuck off a few times, kept so many secrets from his family and yet…he still feels like a prisoner. He has been homeschooled as well before finally getting the chance for an actual school, Norrisville high. Yet he didn’t have his hopes that high up for that.

- he HAS heard about what has been going on in Norrisville ever since ancient times, From the monster attacks that had happened to the ninja himself who stopped it all, for 800 years. Yet he didn’t believe any of it at first, it sounded like a myth/legend more than anything… though it DID sound kinda cool to him… still didn’t believe it though.

- That is until one day, he apparently gets chosen to be the new Norrisville Ninja! At first he thought it was a prank done by his siblings.. but once he opened the Nomicon, life flashed before his very eyes. (This is kinda similar to og! Nobu as well,,)

- ever since he became the new ninja, he felt like he finally got the chance to taste freedom for the very first time! With the ninja suit now on, he could do almost anything he could not do before. Things he never knew was possible until now. As the ninja, he could truly be himself, his true self! free from his ‘prison’, from his family that tried taking it all way…

(Okay Adrien Agreste-)

- unlike Original! Nobu, Swap! Hajime was actually kinda excited for his first day as the ninja. He thought it would be a blast….until he would soon realise how difficult it truly is….kinda like Randy back in 9th grade in the show! ^^ and like original! Nobu, he too would struggle with this duty as well later on…but mostly due to personal family stuff and the fact that he just desperately wants to free himself from the harsh reality sooo bad. Like, let my boy just have all the fun he wants in peaceeeee,,

- Swap! Hajime would at first not quite be into making friends at school, he is pretty quiet and distant, the type of guy to just want to be alone. Not the shy type of guy like original! Nobu but just…more of the cold type. Basically, he has trust issues. He would mostly be interested on focusing on his studies and his ninja duty, especially that one, maybe even becoming…a bit too obsessed with it since it gives him so much freedom to do anything..

- you might think that this is gonna end up being another Mac Antfee situation since it kinda sounds that way…but nope! Thankfully, like og Nobu, this Hajime gets character development ofc! But instead of getting over shyness and fear, this guy has to be better at not being such an cold asshole lol.

- like og Nobu, he becomes friends with Martin but the way their friendship starts is a little more different…it still ends up good too, no worries. It’s just….at the part where the wimpy jock finds out about Hajime’s secret identity, the ninja guy immediately gets so wary around him and the possibility of him spilling it out to the public, that he literally almost stalks him through the school before they actually become friends. Like, good god, bro really doesn’t let it go when it comes to keeping his identity safe.

- S! Hajime’s relationship with his mentor, Randy, on the other hand…might be very rocky at the start. Since he had to deal with such a strict family, he hates it when he’s being ‘ordered around’. So Hajime would just take Randy trying to help as him ‘forcing him to do things’.. the complete opposite of Og Nobu who just immediately accepted the former ninjas help.

But soon later on, as his character development starts, he starts slowly opening up more to Randy and so a brotherish relationship finally starts just like with the original!

- basically, this Hajime is basically almost the complete opposite of Og Nobu. While the short kids shy and anxious (at least at the start of their story), this tall kid’s more brave and confident.. yet there are times he has moments of weakness as well. He refuses to admit them at first but later on, he finally feels brave enough to fully admit it. Aaand he doesn’t have any ‘being short’ problems at all since he ain’t short lol.

Swap! Nobu / Akarui

——

- oh Swap! Nobu….you poor thing….

- still just a child. Like the og, Only 14 years old.

- this guy is a miserable mess. A crybaby mess who is secretly touch starved and EXTREMELY attached to ‘the goddess’ similar to Kurai. But instead of a ‘master and servant’ situation like with Kurai, it’s more of a ‘mother and child’.

- that’s right. Swap! Nobu sees the Goddess as their own ‘mother’, even though they REALLY aren’t. Well…their real family is currently dead now, soooo…

- Swap! Nobu back then, like og Hajime, lived in a poor not well known village… but somehow had a bit better life. Their own family were so sweet and supportive, they got to play outside, it was fun!

- of course, fun doesn’t last forever….as there started being times the kid started getting picked on by other kids they thought were ‘friends’…..then one day, like og Hajime, this Nobu started seeing the ‘unknown person’ (aka the goddess in a different ‘human’ form) in their dreams. At first they were freaked out, especially by those many eyes.. but after seeing how this person wasn’t causing any harm and only wanted to be their friend, the young guy was pretty cool with it!

- They soon did become close friends, doing pretty much a lot in the dreams. The kids parents didn’t know anything about this but there was no need. Their ‘friendship’ was wholesome!….hehe…yeah, totally wholesome….

- That is until one day, a gruesome incident happened at the village…. Which ended up with little Nobu’s family all dead. This greatly destroyed them, forever breaking the kids happy going spirit apart. Having no home now as everything in the village was now in shambles and filled with monsters killing any other human left, Nobu ran far away.

- now og Hajime got to know that the one behind this sudden chaotic incident was the ‘unknown person’/the goddess but S! Nobu? They didn’t. They had no idea that the mysterious and powerful being herself was the one behind the destruction caused at their home. So when they got to meet her in person for the very first time, they didn’t suspect a thing. The kid was just so terrified for their life and cried so much, they did nothing but just go to hug the goddess in disguise and refused to let go as they didn’t want to lose another trusted and loved one.

- the poor kid had nothing left thanks to the chaos that started happening…. This gave the ‘goddess’ a chance to use this moment to their advantage.. and so with Nobu now at their lowest, they took a look into those many eyes…

And that’s when ‘Akarui’ was born.

- now like I just said, Akarui here sees the goddess as their mother now since they have been taking care of them like a true mother would ever since that incident… (in reality, the poor kid was being manipulated) before the goddess was cursed to eternal slumber. So instead of calling them ‘Master’ like Kurai does, Akarui calls her ‘mother’ or, to make it even more gut wrenching, ‘mommy’.

- Akarui is always crying from their one eye, no matter what happens, even if they do feel happy. That’s actually because during the ‘birth/creation’ of their form, their old human self felt so much pain and just couldn’t handle it, crying out in agony. A part of Akarui still feels the pain yet the rest of them just…doesn’t care anymore…

Oh and they miss their ‘mommy’.

- Akarui does most things like Kurai does now with the sorceress, keeping the information about all the Norrisville’s ninjas true identities away from her, not telling her ALL the information about themselves, etc. however, unlike Kurai, Akarui is more of this ‘poor, pathetic guy who looks so depressed and lonely that you can’t help but feel bad’ type of person and ‘ally’ for the sorceress.

- Basically, if the sorceress would ever talk about how much she misses the sorcerer, Akarui would actually genuinely feel bad for her!…in a way.

- while Kurai hates his old human self Hajime in the original, Akarui actually doesn’t hate Nobu at all! In fact, there’s a part of them that may or may not miss those old times…

—

A few fun facts:

- S! Hajime’s ninja design has the two scarves as part of his headband/headscarf instead of just normal like og! Nobu’s. I actually did that for a reason! Well, two actually.

1. to make it more different.

2. To make him match with First Ninja :3

Yeah you heard me. I thought it would be kinda cool. Like Nobu has just have scarves like Randy, S! Hajime has the long additional elongated headband/scarf like Finja. Ya get what I mean?

- Akarui’s name meaning is pretty much the opposite of Kurai’s!

Kurai’s name is a Japanese word that translates to ‘dark’ and ‘Gloomy’.

Akarui’s name is a word meaning like ‘light’, ‘bright’… I’m sure you’re getting the idea rn.

I also thought that would be a bit cool that they’re names are almost like opposites to each other too-

——

And that’s pretty much it.

Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna go relax a bit myself oof-

[zoeykallus]

Hello! 👋

I LOVE your work and the way you capture the personalities of the characters. You're incredibly talented.

I'd like to request an 18+ one shot with Crosshair (fem reader) that's a little different than normal...

Cross is always very cold, rough, and distant, so I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if he started being gentle with the reader. But still in a Crosshair kinda way.

Here's what I was thinking (TW, i briefly mention the reader having past sexual/relationship traumas): The reader and Crosshair have worked together on and off for years. They never really talk about personal things or get emotional because they're both kinda similar. But they have feelings for each other that are on a deeper level than they've experienced before with others. Something happens where they end up being alone and emotionally vulnerable in front of one another (perhaps Cross saves the reader from something and gets all protective and has to calm the reader down from panicking and it gets steamy 😳🤤) and it basically ends in getting laid. But perhaps the reader is afraid of romance and intimacy from past experiences that Crosshair knows a bit about, and he truly loves her so instead of being quick and rough with her, he starts really slow, gentle, and sensual and it gradually gets more intense 🤭.

Take your time and prioritize your mental health!!

And I know that this could potentially encompass some heavy topics, so don't feel obligated to write this! 🫶❤️

Aloha!

🤔 Okay, I needed a while to read through all this and I did it repeatedly because for some reason nothing of it stuck in my head. That's what sleep deprivation does with you, no focus at all.

Now, I don't think Crosshair is always very cold, rough and distant. First of all, he's mostly playing it. I think it's mostly part of a self-defence act. 'Stay professional and don't let anyone get too close.' That stoic pure soldier behavior is kinda like a shield I think. Well, at least in my HC. Anyway, I know what you meant, so never mind 😅

Let's see if I can do this...

Crosshair x Fem!Reader One-Shot - The Unexpected Gentleness

Warnings: Angst/Tension/Protective Crosshair/ Soft Grumpman Crosshair/Suggestive/Described Sexual Intercourse/Spicy Handsy Stuff/ Implied Past Trauma Of Reader/Soft Smut(?)/18+

AC: A hundred years late, I'm finally done with this request. This may, or may not be, the longest One-Shot I've written so far... I don't know anymore by now, it certanly feels like it. I definitely wrote too much stuff to remember 😅 Didn't proofread this yet, because I'm close to keeling over any minute, sorry.

You never thought you would end up in this situation. Crosshair and you have been separated from the rest of the group by a storm. Since you were supposed to explore a cave system anyway, and you are protected from the storm inside, you continue to explore and scan the tunnel system. However, you are not the only ones seeking refuge from the storm in the caves. The group of black market smugglers you are looking for are also there. It all happens very quickly, from one moment to the next you are attacked. Blaster shots fly through the tunnel system and echo off the cave walls. Your flashlights only partially illuminate the cave, many dark corners where the enemy could be, remain lightless, and so two of the men are able to sneak up behind you. Someone jumps into your back and rams you hard to the ground, at first you can't breathe, you feel a knee in your back, your attacker holds you on the ground while he takes off everything you could have used as a weapon.

The impact was hard and painful, you gasp for air in panic as it almost feels as if the oxygen will never return to your lungs. The helpless position you find yourself in stirs up panic in your mind. There it is again, air, frantically you breathe in and out far too quickly. Your eyes are burning, fine stone dust and tears. You can't move, you can't defend yourself, you can't breathe properly, you can't even find your voice to scream. Then you hear a thudding sound, a startled gasp and in the same second the weight is gone from your back. You roll around, crawl to the cave wall and crouch down. You nervously scan the surroundings with your flashlight. Crosshair. He is standing over a man, presumably the one who was kneeling on your back earlier. The man on the ground is no longer moving, Crosshair is standing over him with his blaster. The Sniper looks in your direction, shielding his eyes with his hand against the beam of your flashlight. "Stop blinding me," he growls. "Sorry," you stammer, lowering the flashlight beam. You tremble as Crosshair crouches down in front of you and takes a closer look at you. "Breathe evenly, slowly, in and out. You're hyperventilating."

You blink several times, then force yourself to breathe in and out slowly, feeling your pulse finally calm down. "That's it," Crosshair grumbles, "Keep breathing," and helps you to your feet. He shakes his head and growls to himself, "That's what you get for having to take untrained staff with you"

For a second you want to say something defiant, but you see the look on his face and swollow it down. Usually you can handle his sass and grumble, but you are still shaken from what happened.

You bow your head in shame and silently follow him further along the tunnel system to a junction that looks like a small room. Slightly elevated from the rest of the tunnel, a slightly larger alcove. "We'll camp here for now," says Crosshair, and takes off some of his equipment, including his backpack and its contents. You do the same, and you pile up your blankets so that you can sit and lie reasonably softly. He also sets up a camping light, so you can see each other. Crosshair steps to the edge of the alcove, away from the blankets, and silently, impatiently beckons you towards him. You hastily follow his invitation, still with your head bowed. You hear him sigh, then you feel his hand under your chin. He forces you to look at him and scrutinizes your eyes. "You need to rinse your out your eyes, or they'll get infected. They're already red. You have stone dust in your eyes" He hands you his water bottle, which you take with a shaky hand. But when he sees the trembling in your fingers, he takes the bottle from you again.

"Head to the side and open your eyes," he demands curtly. You comply with this request too. You squint as he begins to clean your eyes. "Pull yourself together," he says quietly, almost gently. After a while, he hands you a clean handkerchief with which you dry your face, then he asks, "How are things looking, do you still feel foreign particles in your eyes?" You blink to test, then shake your head. "No, it's all gone." Crosshair nods and hums, "Good" He sits down on the blankets he spread on the floor earlier and beckons you over. "Sit down" You comply and sit down next to him. When he takes off your jacket, you flinch and stiffen. Crosshair pauses and looks at you questioningly, then says calmly, "I want to see if you've been hurt, bruised or anything, things you might not have noticed under adrenaline" You take off your jacket yourself and say, "My chest hurts a bit, but I don't think anything is broken" He carefully touches you over your T-shirt and applies pressure to your ribs. "Does that hurt?" You shake your head. "No, it's more of a constant, slight pain. It'll just be a few bruises" "Can I have a look?"

You blink uncertainly. You actually trust him, but you're still hesitant. "What's wrong?" he asks with a raised eyebrow. You swallow and say quietly, "I had more than my fair share of unpleasant experiences in the past with letting my guard down with people, physically" He growls softly then says, "You can be sure that won't happen to you with me. I don't cross boundaries I'm not supposed to, you're in control. A simple word is enough." Crosshair sounds unusually gentle, and at first you can only look at him in surprise. But he doesn't push you any further, waiting patiently. Finally, you nod and take a deep breath. You take your shirt off over your head and sit next to him in your bra. He wants to stare, to take a close look at you, but he concentrates decently on your rib area. His fingertips glide carefully over one spot. The touch gives you goose bumps. "Here," he says calmly, "A slightly larger bruise, not too bad" You breathe a sigh of relief and smile nervously. "Turn around," he says gently, "Show me your back."

You do as you're told and feel his fingertips on your skin again. "It looks the same here, a bruise, nothing to worry about" His hand moves to the back of your neck, and you feel a gentle shiver run down your spine. He says a little growling, "That asshole got you pretty good, saw him sweep you off your feet. I was attacked by his buddy at the same moment, otherwise I would have reacted faster" "Thanks for saving me, I would have been lost without you" Crosshair snorts softly, and you can hear the smile in his voice as he says, "Indeed" You slowly turn to face him, still half naked, your shirt lying next to you on the blanket. He's not staring at your breasts though, but at your face as you say, "I'm sorry if I'm a liability on this mission" Crosshair rolls his eyes, but his voice sounds soft as he says, "You do your part, I'll take care of the rough stuff, we complement each other well enough" He studies your face in silence for quite a while, and you find it hard to look at him, you're always so nervous around him even though he doesn't really give you a reason to be.

Braver than you feel, you ask him, "What are you thinking about right now?" Crosshair blinks, looks back into your eyes and says, "About how much I'd like to touch you right now. But that's probably not appropriate. Apart from the fact that you probably don't want me to." Your heart starts to race. A mixture of joy, nervousness and a little fear flood your system. Your heart is beating so hard in your chest, you can feel it all the way up into your throat. You fight with yourself while he looks at you calmly, patiently, waiting. You're fascinated by him, you've liked him for a while, maybe you even have a crush on him. But you didn't expect him to say it so directly here and now. "You want to touch me?" you ask, as if you're not quite sure what these words mean. He tilts his head slightly to the side, then nods and says, "I'm thinking about it, yes. But having just seen how nervous my closeness makes you, I'm holding back." You say honestly in a low voice, "I just don't know how to read you. Sometimes you seem so considerate and thoughtful, other times rather harsh and rude" Crosshair raises his eyebrows, then says, "I'm a soldier, I can't always be gentle" You sigh softly and say, "I know that, I meant explicitly when dealing with me"

He frowns critically and asks, "I was rude to you? When?" "Not rude," you say hurriedly, "Just... grumpy" Crosshair rolls his eyes, but a smirk twitches at the corner of his mouth. "I'm a bit impatient sometimes, that may be. I'm not used to working with civilian agents, even though we've known each other for a while now and have worked together from time to time. I'm usually surrounded by other soldiers. There's not much room for subtlety, especially in the field" You nod, you can understand that. Nevertheless, he is very different from his brothers, Wrecker or Tech, for example, are much more relaxed, even Hunter, but you keep this observation to yourself. "Quite understandable," you finally concede. His features relax a little, and he asks you, "Are you afraid of me?" You shake your head and answer without hesitation, "No, not at all" He smirks and says, "I think so too. If you were, you'd probably have put your shirt back on by now. Physical nakedness is also a certain form of showing vulnerability. If you didn't trust me, you would have covered up again long ago"

You blink and realize with surprise that he is right, your shirt is still next to you, you had almost forgotten about it. He slowly reaches out to your face and gently places his hand on your cheek. You hold still and look at him, fascinated, feeling the warmth of his hand on your skin. His face comes closer, closer and closer. You automatically close your eyes a second before his lips touch yours. It starts with a gentle touch, almost chaste. A few breaths pass before you feel gentle pressure on your lips and return it. You let yourself be pushed backwards, slowly, gently, until you are lying on your back and Crosshair is halfway over you. His lips part from yours, and he lifts his head to look at you. "I had to try it now," he says with a smirk, "How do you feel?" For lack of better words, you say simply, "Warm" He chuckles softly. "Warm is good" You smile too, even though your heart is racing, you're not afraid of him or his touch, you know you're in good hands, you know you can trust him. He would never hurt you, never push you. You know that a simple word will be enough to put him at a distance again, that he will always respect your boundaries. You feel safe, and your hands wander over his arms, on his chest, over the cool material of his armor.

"Maybe I should at least take off the hard parts of my gear?" You nod and say, "That would be better" Crosshair straightens up again, and you prop yourself up on your elbows to watch him remove one piece of armor at a time until he's wearing only the Blacks on his body. He lies half over you again, resting his weight on his arms and knees. Crosshair looks you straight in the eye and says, "You're not forced to do anything and I won't be upset if you'd rather have me at a distance, you can always say something and I'll back off" You smile at him and nod. "I know, I really appreciate that" He shakes his head and says, "That should go without saying, for everyone, you don't have to be grateful for that. But I noticed earlier how insecure you are and when you mentioned that you've had bad experiences, I thought I should mention it. I don't want you to feel forced into anything" You nod again. You automatically want to say thank you again, but you swallow it. "I don't feel any pressure at the moment" He kisses you again, this time more urgently, more sensually. Close to your lips, he whispers, "Tell me if that changes" You want to answer him, but then you feel his tongue gliding over your lower lip, testing, questioning, searching for access. Your lips open automatically and let him in. Your tongues meet in a velvety collision that sends a shiver through your whole body and makes the heat move under your skin, between your thighs. A soft, sweet sigh comes from your throat, a sound that triggers an intense feeling of success, satisfaction in Crosshair. His long arms wrap around you, one of his long legs slips between yours. Immediately you feel the pulse between your thighs, in the intimate heat of your womanhood. His tongue flicks playfully against yours again and again, chasing it with velvety strokes. Every touch of his tongue in your mouth makes your clit pulsate as if he were kissing you in a completely different place.

His long, elegant fingers undo your belt and pants, pull your belt out of the loops and put it to one side. Just the idea and anticipation of every touch makes your pulse race, your nerve endings vibrate and your panties get wet. You imagined it differently, you expected more fear, but you feel completely safe, Crosshair is gentle, considerate, something unfamiliar, unexpected, but very welcome. As his lips part from yours, he lets out a somewhat shaky breath. His muscles are tense, he holds back. You both know he wants more, but he's taking it a lot slower than his body wants right now. "Is everything all right?" you ask softly, your mind still foggy from his kisses. "Of course," Crosshair grumbles and kisses your neck. The touch makes your nipples harden and causes you to wriggle out of your pants automatically, almost of your own accord, and slip them off your body. Another shaky gasp from Crosshair. His fingertips glide over your shoulder, your stomach, your thigh and back up again. They barely touch your skin, just very gently, then they grab, your thigh, then past your thigh to your right bun. His grip is firm, but not hard.

"I've been waiting for what feels like an eternity for us to get closer," he says, lost in thought, you're not even sure if the words are really meant for you.

His hand leaves your bun and moves forward, over the fabric of your panties, gliding gently over them, drawing teasing circles. Your thighs open for him, your mouth slightly open, another sigh comes from your throat. His lips brush gently over your chin and when he looks at you again, he grins. "You seem pretty comfortable around me by now" Your cheeks are warm as you answer him with a grin, "You could say that" You feel his hard length against your thigh through the fabric of his blacks. He presses himself closer to you, kissing his way from your chin to your ear. Once there, he whispers to you, "Feeling good so far?" A shiver runs through your body, only a small hoarse sound comes out of your mouth. Then his face is over yours again, he smiles smugly, he knows exactly what his words have just triggered in you. The moment he kisses you again, his nimble fingers slip under the fabric of your panties, slowly moving further down towards your heated, wet center. He is gentle, teasing, gliding and caressing over your soft folds. You feel a pulse very clearly, Crosshair's gentle touch awakens in you the desire for more. You buck up your hips, the motion causing his fingers to slide further down, to your expectant wet opening, and a fingertip slides in ever so slightly.

"I can see," he says contentedly, in a smoky voice, "I've whetted your appetite for more" And he's right, you want more, so much more, more contact, to feel more of him. You tug on his blacks, try to take them off. He is only too happy to help. At last you are both completely undressed. Your bodies press against each other, naked skin against naked skin. You're both giving off so much heat, you've long since stopped feeling the coolness of the cave. Crosshair's fingers are all over your skin, gliding, caressing, groping, one pleasant shiver after another coursing through your body. Everything blurs in your perception, all you feel is the heat of your bodies, the pulse between your thighs, Crosshair's touch. As soon as he's on top of you, you cling to him, pulling him closer to you, not giving him a chance to wander. You are so unexpectedly hungry for him that even the Sniper is surprised when you reach down between you, grab his cock and guide it to your wet entrance. He pauses, however, the tip barely an inch sunk into your pussy. "Are you sure you want this?" You blink, your face heated, looking up into his face. Your legs hook around his thighs and press him closer to you, making him slowly sink into you.

Crosshair is well-hung, you can clearly feel him stretching you, sliding deeper into your pussy. But he's careful, even bracing himself a little against your leg clamps that push him deeper inside you. "Slow down, kitten, I don't want to hurt you" You realize he's right, it doesn't hurt yet, but his massive cock is clearly making itself felt in your wet heat. You loosen your grip and let out a soft, deep sigh. He looks at you scrutinizingly, then smiles and says, "You're doing very well, kitten" Slowly he sinks deeper, as far as he can go, then he pauses, leans his forehead against yours and has to collect himself. The tightness that surrounds him feels incredibly intense. You see him bite his lip before he slowly begins to move inside you. Your legs cling to him again, your hands move to his shoulder blades, your fingers cling to his shoulders. It feels like his whole body is the perfect fit for you. The stimulation is everywhere you need it as your bodies melt together. You feel every taut muscle in his body, hear his soft, raspy gasps. Your bodies move together in perfect unison, your head sinks back, a smile spreads across your face as Crosshair looks at you mesmerized, you close your eyes and take in the feeling of him filling you completely.

It's not invasive like you feared, not at all. It feels tender, just right, the way his body nestles against and into you. The pulse intensifies, your fingernails press into his shoulders automatically. Spurred on by this, Crosshair moves a little faster. A hoarse moan escapes your lips, louder than expected, followed by a quiet, surprised, "Oh fuck..." You weren't expecting this intensity, this feeling. Your hands automatically move to his ass and claw into it as you feel yourself slithering towards a climax. Crosshair lets out a small, surprised grunt as your nails dig into his buns, but then he lets out a satisfied growl and a grin twitches at the corners of his mouth as he intensifies his thrusts. You don't hold back at all, your moans and gasps, hoarse, expectant, about to explode. It's music to his ears, adding more fire to his own arousal. As your thighs twitch around his body, your pussy around his cock and you drop beneath him with a long, husky sigh, the knot in his abdomen loosens, the tension dissolving into a long, intense, slowly ebbing pulse as he cums inside you.

You laugh, quietly, grinning. You feel so good, so relieved, liberated, safe. He looks at you, one eyebrow raised. "Feeling good, I guess?" You giggle. "Good? No, great." Crosshair smirks, kisses your chin, your nose, your lips, and leans his forehead against yours with a sigh. "Mission accomplished," he murmurs softly.

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[godnectar]

HIATUS ANNOUNCEMENT

should've probably written and posted this sooner ngl,, but as much as it saddens me announcing this because I always miss being here often, I think it's obvious this was going to happen at some point.

it has been some weeks since I updated anything here, even longer months since my last yan work, and it's mostly because life has been getting a bit too busy and emotionally consuming tbh 🫠

between classes, courses, fam and relationships stuff, I kinda went back to the point where I'm just going on as much as I can while being drained asf– which has noticeably affected my activity here, and also the reason why I think it's best to put things on hiatus rn, at least on the writing side.

I'll probably come back at any moment to talk or answer inbox messages and maybe even post yan things I've kept working on,,,, but still wanted to make this one note because it didn't sit right with me to keep anyone waiting for updates :(

thank you sm for everything we've done the last two years (especially grateful for my lovely moots, the silly anons and pretty reqs), and hope things go back to usual as soon as possible <33

(where to find me at just in case ★ @godnectar @yonderly-alamort @goldienectar @tojisdove )