#some of the character bios and stuff i see on here are fucking incredible and so creative

[commander-netta]

so i like to encorporate a lot of the “canon” story of gw2 into my character backstories and bios, its just the way i like to play. that said, does anyone else have “canon characters” for each race?

so like, the character i consider the canon commander is netta, who is human, and in my mind she followed the human personal story, and also the dungeon story and eventually the entire story as we know it. BUT i also have a canon sylvari, who did all the sylvari personal story, joined the vigil etc and knew caithe, up until HoT where their story deviates (as i dont really consider them the comm). 

in my mind it means that no matter what, at least all of what happens in the game is considered to have, well, actually happened. but ofc that is just how i like to do things. let me know in the tags if youre the same

[viivenn]

making an important announcement about some things i’ve noticed in the gwendoline christie fandom that really bug me.

disclaimer: read this at your own convenience and discretion. i am not responsible for any sort of hurt feelings and frankly… i don’t care. if you’re mad about this, you are probably the problem. /lh

to start with id like to begin on a positive note so that i’m not diving into negativity, i don’t want to be completely negative about my experiences because i’ve actually met some of the kindest people in the world through this fan base.

the gwen fandom, the gwandom, the gwendoline christie fandom , the lesbian cesspool, has been an incredible experience that i’m grateful i’ve had the pleasure of being apart of.

i went through a rough patch during november, and if i hadn’t found out about gwen, or met such wonderful people during my time here , i honestly wouldn’t be here right now. i owe my life to these people, gwen included. i will forever adore miss christie and what she stands for alongside the friends i’ve made along the way.

and while i know someday this hyperfix will end, it’s really disheartening to me when a fandom is what makes me grow distant from things i enjoy. it happened before, i feel as though it is happening all over again.

and no, i’m not taking issue with anything like the catrissa stuff or the brienne and larissa ship going around or anything like that. i like that we can all be weird together and enjoy aus like catrissa and crackships like bririssa (not sure the official name that was decided lol). my issue is the amount of content i’ve seen that either focuses on gwen herself, or the strange relationship with minors, or the odd artwork of gwen, and the absolute disgusting behaviour towards giles.

gwen would be absolutely appalled seeing fanfictions of herself that involve nsfw or just her in general, anyone would, it’s disgusting to make works of real people in that setting. it’s like you’re treating them as an original character you can mould and manipulate as you see fit and using someone who is real with thought and feeling and consciousness for smut fics is not okay, or any fic in general. i totally get the hype around her characters, i literally have “brienne’s princess” in my bio and i’ve had “jane murdstone’s bloodbag” (in reference to my vamp au) as a name in a discord server.

but i think the fandom has begun to blur the lines between fictional characters and reality settings when it comes to gwen and the personalities she portrays on the television screen. it’s not fair to her. it’s disgusting. i’ve seen a minor do it, i’ve seen a grown adult do it. it’s something i don’t see shamed and frowned upon often enough and it’s really not okay.

on that note i’d like to quickly mention the photos, we alllll know what photos i’m talking about. the bunny one, the nudes, the ones gwen has expressed regret towards and wishes to not have them spread. was there not a “fan” who brought her a book of her nudes and wanted her to sign it? that person who was blocked on instagram by gwen because they reposted her nudes on their story and tagged her???? how can you refer to yourself as a fan after behaving so abhorrently? absolutely disgusting behaviour. as a collective fandom we need to stop touching those photos (metaphorically speaking) and leave them in the past.

i’ve been told of numerous circumstances in which adults have shown their nsfw works to minors in this fandom and it has to fucking stop. it’s disgusting!! how can you do that knowingly? i constantly ponder terminating my account after a minor got ahold of my nsfw work, and upon realising they WERE a minor it was as simple as blocking and moving on. it’s truly not that hard, folks. and the minors on tiktok who fight with others saying silly things like “that’s my wife” or worse. i’ve seen it all, i feel like, and the more i see it the more sick i become. i cannot stand it.

i have seen and heard of fans who have fat shamed gwen for that one pink dress she wore to the met gala. she looked so happy in that dress, and the audacity one must have to fatshame that poor woman on twitter then turn around and continue to proclaim your ‘love for her’ as if you’d done no wrong? are you fucking serious? are you mental?

and the sexualisation over the porcelain doll look, gods some of you are sick. those were not real breasts, people. considering the fact she wholeheartedly regrets her nude photoshoots , what possesses you to believe she would actually flaunt her chest in that outfit?

the blatant mistreatment of poor giles is not fucking okay either. just because you’re jealous of someone who makes her immensely happy does not give you the right to post something so vile and cruel about him. shame on you. why do you believe this is okay to post:

????????

are you serious? have any of you stopped to consider how HAPPY giles makes her? or is her happiness the last thing you ponder when you look at her? have you even noticed how unhappy she looks lately? have you truly paused to consider how she would feel about seeing this on your page, random twitter user, or the rest of you who think this is okay? bless your hearts.

and some of the absolutely horrific things i’ve seen about her online and the hurtful behaviour towards giles makes me question the difference between a fan and just the general paparazzi. because if you truly loved her and you truly loved giles then i would not be ranting into the fucking void about it for no reason.

i avoid interacting with pages i find problematic on here to keep from stirring the pot but tonight i chose violence and got reeeeeal pissy about how i felt about this place. it’s not okay what i see on here and it’s getting exhausting seeing the same cycle of content on a daily.

that’s everything i have to say, i think. i probably missed a lot that should be discussed in the comments but i’m done for now because i know if i go on i’ll probably cry.

before you post things about real people with real feelings , stop to consider how they will feel those real feelings towards the content you put out. chances are you’ll become less problematic and obnoxious that way. 💘

[ybcpatrick]

Hi!! If you don't mind me asking how did you get into wrestling/how do you keep up with it? Every time I see you post about it I'm reminded of my interest in it but severe lack of knowledge

hi!! i don't mind at all!! so, my answer here may not be too helpful, because i didn't decide to get into wrestling myself.

i've been watching since the day i was born (like no joke, i got here, forty minutes later smackdown came on and my parents had it on in the hospital room). for my entire life, i've been watching WWE with my parents. some of my earliest memories involve it, having it on in the background, asking questions, connecting with my mum and dad through their excitement at getting to give me answers.

the past few months have been the first time in my twenty-two years of existence that i've ever had to watch raw/sd without them, and that's only bc my parents' schedules have changed, and they aren't home in the evenings. (but even now, i'm still not watching alone, bc i accidentally got my best friend tiana @heartbreakfeelsogood into it, too, and we're having the time of our LIVES.)

but, even though i didn't get into it, the interest was just Given To Me, i do still have some advice for you if you wanna start watching (and i'm using WWE as my general example here, bc it's the biggest wrestling promotion in the world, and it's the one i watch most):

• wrestling isn't actually wrestling:

the match outcomes in pro wrestling are pre-determined, because it's not meant to be a legitimate competition; it's a vehicle for storytelling. it's a tv show about a wrestling show, closer to live theatre or a soap opera. it is still a sport, and the wrestlers are incredibly skilled athletes, and if something looks like it hurt really bad, It Fucking Did. but, they're fictional characters that exist halfway in their own universe and halfway in ours, who experience time at the same speed we do. you can watch them learn, grow, and change, in real time, for years, even decades.

wrestling is fake, and that causes people to brush it off as stupid. but wrestling being fake is exactly why it's good.

• there is no beginning, and there is no end:

wrestling never ends. ever. literally ever. monday night raw has aired every single week, without fail, since january of 1993. like it just never fucking stops.

because of that, there's no good place to start as a new fan. you just gotta dive in headfirst. WWE programming/commentary is very accommodating to new viewers, they take time to replay important segments you may have missed, and explain past events so you have context for what you're watching. anything else, google and youtube. if you wanna dig into wrestling history, there are some great video essayists on youtube who delve into it; my personal favourite is wrestling bios.

in the US, raw's on mondays @ 8pm EST on USA, and smackdown's on fridays @ 8pm EST on FOX. there's other wwe programming on thru the week, too, and all of it is also available on peacock. in canada, i have sportsnet for watching live, and the wwe network as well. if you're in another country, look it up and check. (i can give you my streaming site if you DM me, too, if you're respectably interested in 🏴‍☠️, but bear in mind that ripping WWE shit is Weirdly Fucking Tricky sometimes, bc capitalism is a prison.)

• pick one promotion, go from there:

there is so much fucking wrestling, it's super overwhelming, you genuinely cannot watch it all. WWE, AEW, NJPW, Impact, WOW, the list goes on and on and on and on. pick one company to start, branch out later if it piques your interest.

if you want sparknotes on shows you missed/shows from promotions you don't keep up with, there are a million review channels on youtube to recap them. i do that personally to know what's happening in AEW, bc i don't watch their stuff week-to-week. i like whatculture wrestling's ups and downs series, the host simon is incredibly positive and fun-loving, and it's great.

• remember it is not that serious, and a lot of the internet wrestling community doesn't know what fun is:

wrestling makes people mad sometimes. fans who are really deep into it/the backstage stuff, called marks/smarks, are the most fickle, bitchy group of people on the fucking planet. if you wanna interact with other wrestling fans, on any social media, just remember that you're allowed to have your opinions and they're allowed to have theirs, and just because they say a match/story/whatever is shitty doesn't mean it actually is. wrestling fans love complaining more than they love wrestling itself.

it's just like any other fandom; step in, look around, find your friends, hang out with them and don't bother with the bullshit. if wrestling's pissing you off more than it is entertaining you, you can take a break from it. it's just a show!

if you wanna watch, just start. you'll pick it all up as you go. i think it's the coolest form of storytelling there is, and i think you'll have fun. BE FREE!

[yellowocaballero]

HEY!! Your trigun swap au is so very good!! I've always loved roleswap aus as a concept, and yours is the perfect example of why. it's all about the balancing act of twisting the (swapped) character's background/mentalities for maximum domino effect while not actually *destroying* the character ya know? you still gotta recognize them, it's half of the fun. just some little nudges here... and there... with the delightful result of a changed plot/world that you can discover anew

Also I surprisingly vibe with Dr Knives. a lot. what can I say I guess it's the fucked up superiority-inferiority/guilt complex with a dash of imposter syndrome. also the transgenderism. he's just like me fr fr (minus the speciesism and bloodlust) 1/3

SPEAKING OF! I'm literally a week late for that but chapter 4 may be my favorite so far. it's got it all: Ww's bloodlust coming through and being given a GUN, M&M being #JustNormalGunsmokeKidsThings about it, Knives being incredibly tired and enthusiastically murderous in turns, TRANS PEOPLE!! Funky morally dubious trans men ! Intersex nonbinary Knives (in humans terms) !! small internal rants about ecosystems!

I particularly like that one bc I too found myself twitching whenever I see (in fics or fandom at large) Gunsmoke being shown as a ~hostile, barren~ planet when, like.... *waves agitedly at the Tomases* *waves frantically at the WORMS, in all their INCREDIBLY DIVERSIFIED sizes and shapes* tell me there isn't an entire ecosystem supporting and including these bad boys. And god do I wanna know about it. Terraforming this terraforming that. Enough. I want bio-worldbuilding fics that are just as weird and unhinged as the rest of trigun (2/3)

To go back to Nicholas : I loved his discussion with Knives about fate and predestination and stuff (esp since -I may be reading too much into it, but it’s interesting that Knives says he doesn’t believe in predestination anymore, and just a bit later goes about how his personality is Like That bc he’s Biologically Programmed for it), and his last words in it are especially ominous. WHAT were you gonna say about Vash. How does it concern Nicholas. This is gonna bite them in the ass later isn’t it.

Also ur last asks/answers REALLY doesn’t reassure me about woowoo’s fate. Is he gonna die. Is he gonna end up going thru the same things than his canon counterpart (concentrate of medical-and-general unethicality). Idk what those flags are for but boy They Are There.

Aallll that to say I absolutely love that fic and can't wait to see what you do next with it, thank you so much !! (3/3)

This is so nice thank you so much :D :D :D To comment in order:

Roleswaps are no fun if you can't recognize the character. You're absolutely right - the funnest part is to make the smallest changes possible, and see how they cause the biggest differences. That's true of every AU, honestly - you guys know those 600k shonen manga aus where something major is different but every story beat is identical to canon? Or they're identical to every other au? They're addictive but without substance. Also sounds boring to write.

It's so funny that you (and others) vibe with Dr. Knives! From my end, he has my own very wry deadpan and self-esteem problems. Characters who have both a ridiculously inflated ego for comedy purposes and some real self-esteem problems for drama purposes work great.

I was surprised that so many people enjoyed the trans thing so much! I didn't expect it to make people so happy. Of course it's a nice surprise. I don't remember why I made the BDN decision (funny, probably) or the 'Knives invented gender reassignment surgery' thing (funny definitely), but a very active decision and something that made Knives above every other character fun to write is that he is not a human being and does not think of himself as such. The way his body experiences emotion is different, his body itself is different in a way that probably includes genitalia, and there's no reason for him to experience gender the same way. As I'm about to talk about in the upcoming chapter, he casually refers to himself as a thing and with it/its and it doesn't affect his superiority complex whatsoever.

I...would not have said that this is trans by myself, if that makes sense, because I wouldn't have wanted to say "in order to really hammer in how this character is INHUMAN then I'm gonna make him not male or female and prefer neopronouns!". It's just the shape of the character, to me. BUT LIKE IF Y'ALL LIKE IT! NO PROBLEM! I was just worried I might be saying the wrong thing, so I didn't want to say it, if that makes sense. Y'all can say it though.

Trigun worldbuilding is nonsensical and hideously vague and as a writer if you stop and think too hard about silly questions like "where does the wood come from" or "why is Vash eating salmon sandwiches" then you go insane. But...yeah, Gunsmoke's like any other ecosystem, and its worms and thomases seem to be doing great! It's not Gunsmoke's fault it is almost completely uninhabitable to humans. It sucks for us, but...does Knives care about that??? Lmfao???

There is a shitton to say about Knives' relationship with predestination and inevitability, because it's why he made the worst decision of his life. I think of it as...reasonable, in a lot of ways. If all you knew about humanity was what you read in history textbooks, and human history ended with the destruction of Earth and themselves, how would you feel? Everything humans have done, they do again. And if they dissected your sister, in an act of cruelty that they had done to even themselves...of course you'd worry. Of course. If you're young and scared and you can hear the screams of the dead in your ears, of course you feel like it's going to be you or them. And if you're.........Millions Knives.......and reverse!Vash.....then eliminating the threat is just good business sense.

And you aren't reading too much into it - Trigun in so many ways is about choices, and the impact of your choices. Your decisions are you own, and you must take responsibility for them. Decisions have weight in Trigun. I think what ppl miss sometimes about Vash is that he also wants to fuckin' murder people sometimes. He wants to be violent, he wants to hurt. He just chooses not to. Sometimes choosing pacifism is a hard fucking choice, and I think wiping that away does a disservice to the character. So if Knives would say, "Well, it's just who I am, I had no choice, I had no control, I just go nuts and murder it's not on me..." - what does that mean, in Trigun? It's??? Like??? A pussy thing to say???

But, the way I thought about it - what Knives is fighting is his internal sense that he is predestined for cruelty. He knows "who he really is" and any attempt at goodness is futile, because he's secretly bad and will always be bad. And he fucks up sometimes and starts exploding worms. But Knives chooses goodness, and I don't think he's really cottoned on that his choice to do good is more important than his internal desires to do bad and his history of badness. Because he hates himself.

I think what Knives knows now as an adult is that our lives have paved a path for us to tread. Sometimes that path is innocent, and sometimes your life paves a very nasty path. But it's our choice if we walk it or not. Knives knows what his path is, and it gives him extreme shame - but he chose which one he walked, and that's what I judge him on. Still funny how much he loves murder though.

[tuiyla]

Ahh literally everything you're saying is just like parts of the bigger reason s3 sucks so bad. They start off the season with Will like "This year everyone's dreams will come true!" and then like Santana gets outed, Mercedes and Tina are constantly struggling to have their voices heard, Quinn is forced to confront her Beth trauma then gets in a car wreck, Kurt gets passed over for literally every big thing he wanted this season, also literally laughed out of an audition for being Too Gay, Blaine is butting heads with Sam and Finn cause they're both acting dumb lol, also Klaine relationship troubles. Swear to god I think Mike is the only one with a conflict that feels like it gets satisfyingly resolved this whole season rip

And then at the end of the season everyone is like "wow what a great year thank you mr schuester for doing everything for us <3" when he literally never cared about anyone but Finn aslfkjsklfsl and then the whole dick sucking ego stroking parade of everyone to Finn, and Kurt to all the guys and it's just like ??? hello? what? where? when? did i miss some episodes??? What is going on

I literally feel like Kathy Bates in Misery when I talk about season 3.

and all the kids cheered - but I didn't cheer, I stood right up and started shouting, "This isn't what happened last week - have you all got amnesia?! THEY JUST CHEATED US - THIS WASN'T FAIR!"

Omg you so hit the nail on the head with that quote, wow. I have to fess up and say that I liked season 3 when I first watched and looked back on the seasons because I trauma-blocked IKAG and many other awful parts and was blinded by the graduation glamour and the soundtrack. Upon rewatch, it's incredibly infuriating and embodies a lot of what was wrong with this show. And it's made worse by everyone always saying s3 was the good old days and then the show declined in quality, which is just not true.

All the things you listed, yes. And I'm gonna repeat some of them here but just cause it's worth stressing just how bad some of this is. Will, teacher of the year, didn't do shit for most students this year and actively made some of their lives worse. He yelled at Quinn and threw Santana to the wolves, scolded both Tina and Mercedes when they asked for an ounce of the respect they deserved. His treatment of Mercedes!! Oh. My god. He should go to jail for booty camp. All the while we had to endure the ups and downs of his sex life and while he, like the whole show, was so far up Finn's ass it was hard to see anything else. Quinn was put through a revolving trauma door and not one adult really cared. All three main women of colour were demonized for wanting a taste of the spotlight and the one canon lesbian given the most offensive "coming out" (i.e. outing) known to tv. Brittany was mute for most of the season and when they do give her something it's the fucking sex tape. Sam had such big flop moments and Blaine was only pulled out for songs and Klaine conflict. Kurt's dreams were shattered despite him doing his best and nailing the audition. Oh and yeah let's have him thank the boys for,,,, whatever reason? Insulting. No one cared about the newbies because the show didn't either. Yeah, Mike's storyline was more or less done well but it was so brief and the only standalone story arc he ever got. Finchel had to be prom king and queen for some godforsaken reason. I mean let's not get into how season 3 Finn is somehow even worse than he usually is because jfc it just never stops with him. I guess Puck's storyline was the most decent? But they also had him fuck the adoptive mother of his bio child also his teacher also his ex's mom so, like. Most of Rachel's stuff was also fine but the Finchel things were intolerable and elevating her by putting others down is not it.

And it's not just the shafted characters and bad storylines and the overall bad execution of even the ones that had potential. It's this tonal inconsistency, this insistence that the sun is shining out of Finn's ass, that Finchel are meant to be and are more important than anyone else on this show, the trainwreck of season 3A especially, the issue episodes. The fact that the show swears it cares about all these kids when it's so quick to discard them and do their stories a disservice. It's not a triumphant last lap of the OGs but a tragedy for most and a wank fest for a select few.

[black-rose-writings]

Every time I see someone making a badass Alina post/art/edit with the “It gets dark when I say it does” quote, I have to laugh.

Like, yeah, out of context, that quote sounds super fucking badass, but in reality...

It’s not a badass line at all.

It’s Alina wanting to sulk alone in the dirt after she and her group have gone through some tough shit. She’s their leader, she has responsibilities to them and all she does it lay in the dirt and bemoan her terrible fate.

Like, same, but like... I’m not the hero of a fantasy adventure novel and the only person I’m responsible for is myself, most of the time.

I don’t want characters that are like me in that way to be the protagonists of the books I read because a) I’m fucking boring and b) I read books for escapism. I don’t need or want to read about a character with cripling imposter syndrome and self-esteem issues, I have plenty of that shit in my own head and if it’s not done and framed right, it’s just going to make me hate what I’m reading because it’s reminding me of that stuff.

It’s relatable in the worst way possible.

Like, same, girl, can we move on to the fantasy battles and sexy villain I’m here for, please?

And, honestly, Alina being a relatable bitch makes the whole series incredibly frustrating to people who were that angsty teenager and have gotten their shit at least partially together, because we recognize the same mistakes we made and we want Alina to do better. And it makes her ending even more tragic, because she’s basically barred from any healthy coping mechanisms and will inevitably perpetuate the damage, self-hatred and trauma to all the kids she’s raising.

Because that’s the other things: Alina shouldn’t be raising children, when she doesn’t have her shit together. Having kids isn’t a cure for trauma, dear boomers. Alina isn’t mature enough to raise any child, especially not kids who have already gone through the trauma of losing their bio parents.

And I hope none of the kids at Keramzin turn out to be Grisha, because that would just be a recipe for disaster. ( @kestrafagnor​ ‘s Little Anya fic, if you want an example of how it might go)

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

just thinking about how my weird obsession with sex in high school- like joking that i’d become a hooker and stripper in my 20s just so i could meet & fuck my fave emo band dudes while they toured australia (like honey. for the love of god. just buy a fucking meet & greet ticket to meet them. and also. now a whole ass decade later it’s coming out that a good bulk of these men were/are actually trash to their young teen female fans (and it’s also in their past interviews for some of them but you chose to ignore it) so i dodged many a bullet dick if you will)….. and then me pretending to be a hooker/stripper from vegas on omegle and like scarring some of the girls in my year 9 drama class at catholic school in 2010 all bc i decided to write some really graphic (for a 14/15yo) sexting stuff on omegle during one particular lesson…….

moreover, being obsessed with tv show characters like barney stinson from himym and samantha jones from sex and the city…. and all the other jokes (e.g. “we all know i’ll be a dominatrix when im older 😉!”- this was literally one of them) i’ve talked about before in an infinite amount of personal posts on here over the years….. has turned me into such an incredibly anxious mess around sex and relationships in my late 20s; that i need to get to therapy about it.

because i very obvs kinda drank up the hyper sexualisation of teen girls and women in media so much in my teens. like i thought i’d be a complete “slut” in my 20s. i thought i’d move to LA and be a super famous and hot actress who’d get to fuck/sleep with all of her fave emo band dudes so they’d write songs about her sleeping around (take a hint girl. they didn’t like those women!!!!!! 90% of the songs you were listening to at that time were bitter breakup songs!!!!) in hollywood and being the home wrecking whore and ruining their bands bc they’d all slept with me. which i thought was a great badge to wear; to tear down the self esteem and mental health of those men. like it honestly was so fucking bizarre.

but now in my late 20s….. i can barely sext at all. i run out of things to write in like the first 2 seconds in. when i try to sext… like say i’m crushing on someone whose a long distance from me (like did with one of my followers on here that lives in a city which is 3hrs north of me i’m australia last year)….. i get into it for like maybe an hour and then give up; while they keep going. i don’t want to flirt. i find it impossible to find smart quippy flirt lines and that’s why i can’t stand the idea of dating apps. also i’ve always hated dating apps in general anyway due to my past dealings with them (ie the fb adding me to zoosk dating when i signed up in 2009 at 13/14 incident) but i also fucking hate how you have to almost “sell” yourself again in quippy lines and like 150 words of a bio. to make yourself almost as digestible and marketable as a biteable tweet on twitter. i fucking hate it. i don’t have any energy for it. i used up all my sexting ideas in my teens, when i was far too young to be doing it… and then there’s also the tumblr sexting publicly with anons in 2013… who turned out to be two (possibly) 28yo men…… and i was 17.

i was so desperate to be a “slut”, a “vixen”, a “whore” in my formative years (which we all know never actually happened anyway) that i never seriously sat down to realise- not that a teenager would actually do it; let’s be real here- how damaging it’d really be in my 20s. like i don’t know how to function in the early stages of any relationships where you’re supposed to be almost endlessly lustful of your partner- all bc i had that bizarre intense fixation on sex and being labelled a whore so early on. and now i don’t even want to be called “whore” or a “slut” in sexting. but that’s the default thing that you see on tumblr and everywhere else.

there’s obvs the thing i’ve referenced in other posts too; where i was obsessed with the labels of “sexy” etc as well; and i longed in my teens to be called sexy and other labels like that, by boys my age. but since i never got it from them, i then wanted it from older guys. but once that girl in year 11 at public school kept trying to set me up with guys aged anywhere from 20 to 30…. and they were calling me “sexy”/ “hot” and everything else…. it just felt gross??? and most especially when considering the large age difference of the men who were 30 and me at 16/17. now when men call me sexy or hot or whatever, i just get weirdly uncomfortable and my default response is “awww stop”; when i actually feel weird about it.

i found it super unsettling and insulting when a follower on here (mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF) kept suggesting to me to become a camgirl bc he thought i’d make a lot of money bc “you’re so hot and sexy and you just don’t know it!” or whatever the fuck he told me back in like 2016, after he’d ignored me for like 3+ years. it was even more unsettling when he seemed to get more agitated by my disagreement and hesitation with his so called “great suggestion” every time he brought it up. bc no. i will not use onlyfans. i will not be a camgirl since i don’t want creeps like you, brayden, telling me what the fuck to shove up my coochie for your/their pleasure and not particularly mine. and i just personally know that i don’t have the mental space or confidence to be a sex worker. i always give props to the women who do.

and it also felt awful when it came out the mouth of my high school stalker/creeper from years 11/12, any time i showed ANY emotion other than “innocent doe eyed fuck doll of a girl that needs to be somehow saved from herself and her own naivety” by some dipshit who thinks the whole world is actually porn; bc that’s how he learnt how to talk to girls…. that i just learnt to shut down any type of sexual relationship really fast.

the word “hot”, felt odd too, when it came out of the mouth of one my other early tumblr followers who was from sydney, and he paired it with wanting to meet up and to “give you (me) a tour of bondi and you can make us cookies in the hotel room i’ll get for us”. like yes. we were 17/18. but for some random stranger that you barely know from the wilds of the internet offers to get you both a hotel room…. like thanks for the weird insinuation that i’ll sleep with you laiken, when we’ve literally talked about twice in the last year (2013). just because you follow me on tumblr and you inboxed me twice, it doesn’t that mean i want your dick anywhere near me. and then when i said i’d bring a friend, he got weird with “third wheeling” as if us following each other and possibly fucking when or if we met up in bondi, instantly made us into a couple. no. we are not a couple. and you’re blocked, laiken. end of story.

there was also a time when i confused “people pleaser” as a euphemism for group sex. so that when it came to some sexual fantasies i had with certain emo band guys- i wanted to have orgies basically. i wanted group sex. but honey. you’re literally a child. you do NOT want or need to pleasure 4 men at once, let alone an individual man. now in my late 20s, i can’t even picture myself fucking one man. let alone 3 to 4 at once. you’re NOT a people pleaser in the bedroom, when you don’t even have the energy to go seek someone out to have some meaningful sex with. not just empty “no strings attached” bullshit. but again, this side is also somewhere in other posts i’ve made on here about relationships- that i wanted far more advanced relationships and sex with older men (ie just even an 18/19 year old guy when i was 14/15…. or a couple of years later at 17 i wanted a 20 something year old man to find me sexy and fuck me etc)… that i won’t speak about it more here.

but yeah. there’s a lot here and i have no idea where this post was supposed to go. but yeah. my main point is that weird obsession with sex in my teens (when i actually had zero (0) sex at all in my teens) has turned me into an anxious mess because now i think of sex as a huge performance and elaborate thing….. like a big part of it, i guess, is that….. i have a fear of dudes rating my moans and being like “it’s not horny enough” or “you don’t sound right”- well tyler. how about you cut the fuck down on your porn consumption then???!!! bc i am NOT fake porn moaning “oooooh myyyy gooooodd it’s soooooo biiiiig” and “ooooh myyyy goood iiiimmm sooooo weeet!!! goooo deeper!!!”…. or whatever the fuck…. when both your dick game and your sex skills are piss weak at best…. and you refuse to take ANY constructive feedback about YOUR performance and moans….. so it’s almost like stage fright lmao. but for sex. and there’s also me still joking that although im no longer loud in public; “i’ll be loud in the bedroom 😉” when like. will i actually be??? who knows??? if i never bother to do anything with this.

and then there’s me being over critical of my body when i take nudes…. and also trying to light everything right to look- idek- appealing/appetising- since when it comes to my snootch, it’s meant to served up like a delicacy. lmao. on a platter. bc you’re meant to “eat it, lap it up/slurp that pussy like a slurpee” ok. you can tell i don’t flirt. but you get the point. it’s always referred to in food imagery. and then i take one look at a guys dick and i’m like “that’s going NOWHERE near my mouth. i can tell you that” and “your cum will NEVER be a meal, dude” unlike my 🐈 . so it’s tied up in so much bullshit; that it’s healthier for me to just not engage in sexting and relationships at all. the appetising thing is also tied up in sex positions- like who the fuck wants to see me with my legs in the air, at THAT angle in missionary???? or like who wants to see me in the weird sex positions that used to be in cosmo mag to “hit your g spot” and “spice up your sex life with these 10 amazing moves!”???? when i’ll probably look awful- esp if it’s in front of a mirror. and that’s also tied to facial expressions too. it’s just an awful tangle of what the actual fuck fuckery.

just yeah. my constant fixation on sex in my teens really fucked up my engagement with relationships in my 20s because i followed the hyper-sexualised version of a teen girl on tween/teen shows. then i got angry at myself during my teens bc i wasn’t “hot” i wasn’t “sexy”. i was just so blatantly and horribly average that how on earth would that ever be attractive to anyone???? man. why am i even writing this on here. i remember the inner anger and jealousy i harboured from my best friend bc she lost her virginity when we finished year 12 in 2013 (drunken teen mistake) and i hadn’t done anything yet…. when i was meant to be the samantha jones “wild sex bitch” of our little group. i was meant to do it first bc i’d read all the cosmo bullshit. i remember how bitterly jealous i was she she got her boyfriend that she’s been with since 2016. when was my time even for just a boyfriend??? just any fucking person who’d just somehow minorly “settle” for me. aside from all the “wild, kinky sex freak with an even wilder mouth” persona bullshit that i’d built up for myself.

but instead all i got was intensely controlling and incredibly rude so-called “men”; where i could detect their red flags in the first 20 minutes to an hour of meeting them. so it just ended up being so deflating and not worth bothering with. so i had to end up settling for vibrators. i guess that’s the only upside to this whole shebang. i had to learn how to detect creeps and very problematic negative traits in the first hour of either meeting someone in person, or through a message on fb or another social media platform… so that i could learn to leave at the first sign of anything where they think that they instantly have power over me bc i apparently know less about being a “real person” than they do.

bc no. you don’t have power over me solely bc you have a penis and have fucked a woman before- notice the sole use of “fuck”- never something kinder or more intimate- it’s quick, it’s soulless and devoid of all emotion. you don’t have power over me bc you think that sticking your useless shit dick in me will apparently make me into a “real woman who’ll finally know real dick”.

because, no. the real dick here is you, jeremy. ironically sans dick. because your cock (to go with his “everything is porn” vibe) was not needed to prove to me that i can be discerning and have good judgement without a shitty dude to tell me what to do. leave me the fuck alone. i will not be taking your fucked up offer of sex lessons in the back of your car to pay for driving lessons that you think will “fix” me. which is your blatantly god-awfully terrible excuse and disguise for probable sexual assault. get the fuck away from me, you literal walking, talking goddamned alarm bell. you deserved to be blocked for life.

anyway back to my original rant.

finally, don’t even get me started on me labelling other girls that i didn’t like at school as “sluts” and “whores”- so i was against them bc they were confident with boys- but somehow it was utterly fine for me to be a supposed rampantly sexual being instead bc i was being idek “real” about it???? when in reality when i did get shown any sliver of attention (usually not from the people i wanted) it was negative and i ran from it bc it made me feel unstable.

[cwarscars]

*taps mic* hi hello good night! I'm here to talk about Magnar Valerio Heidegger because of course that is his canon name and I don't care what SE has to say about it. :) No, but really - I know I've said this in the past but Heid is an emotional muse for me and I'll do this again.

I don't think I was prepared for how much you made me care for him - it's fair that the remake made him more than a lil pixel in a green coat and thick beard, but I had no feelings or thoughts for Heid until I met you. I remember being a weird choice of a muse - Reeve and Scarlet (even Hojo with the yucky factor) were such popular directors, why would someone pick Heidegger?

All I can say is that I'm glad you did it because HOLY FUCK. I remember reading through this incredibly long and detailed bio and just... Fully seeing Heidegger as a fully-fleshed character. The abuse at the hands of the father he failed to recognize as such; the intense pressure to succeed and to please him nonetheless; the marriage that ended in heartbreak with two daughters he didn't spend nearly enough time with; the worship of Shinra Sr.; his views on world politics and how he so clearly sees himself as a man with the guts to do what needs to be done to achieve results.

With your writing, I just went from someone who largely ignored him to someone who frankly adores the character. There is just so MUCH room for growth, complicated themes to work with and you just turned him into this layered, complex asshole I love? That Melissa would definitely marry no matter the verse? I just cannot get enough of how much history you've given him, how plausible it all sounds and the fact that you write a villain we can relate/understand his reasoning without ever woobifying him.

You are THE Heidegger writer to me and I'm forever amazed and wowed by your headcanons and super well detailed posts. It all tracks to the OG or the remake in some way and it's just so good I forget it's not canon. Or fuck that - you're better than canon. PLUS Heidegger gave me you and 3 years later (3 years??? omg) we're here and having fun and I will never not love the husbando for it.

You're amazing and your Heidegger is a work of art. *mic drop*

hey…how’s my portrayal? ♡

(( MARI. WHAT THE FUCK ----

i legit saw the start of this and thought 'ooohhhh, a nice tasty lil ask for heidegger & mel to have sexy times in' AND THEN I KEPT READING AND I WAS LIKE 'WAIT A SECOND'. you know something, i'm not much of an emotional bear - i think we both know this because i have n e r v e s of s t e e l but...this got my eyes damp? like, what the hell???

i feel emotional reading this, it's like how i mentioned to light; it feels good to have been given the platform and supported by you guys in writing heid. like, i feel as though these headcanons and storylines and stuff come out because of you guys. i sometimes feel so embarrassed by my love of this guy because he isn't cloud or sephiroth or even one of the lesser but still popular characters (ala rufus or tseng). like, who the hell would like heidegger? haha. well, me apparently :P

but it feels great because i get this support and this validation by people like yourself. you just DIVEBOMB into my inbox with this absolute love letter of goodness and it honestly has me feeling so warm and fuzzy. ive been so down these last few weeks just due to various bits and pieces and you know, when you reach a stage where you can't even cry* because you feel so shit? well, now i'm sat here with lil happy tears beading in the corners of my eyes - like, bruh- you did that, i love you for it.

of course - i can't just fawn on how much i love you and how sweet you are, mari. because our friendship is special and i'm so forever grateful to have started to write with you that one day and i'm so glad that everything from there has happened and we've always stayed in touch but like -

melissa. you KNOW i wouldn't have half the characterisation of heid if it wasn't for her. that initial meeting - the INITIAL plots we had with the blackmail and stuff before these two coconuts fell in love. their son and retirement to costa del sol. remember the bitchy neighbour that mel HATED? edlyn and dwayna befriending mel and mel restoring their relationship with their father? all of the smut and all of the wonderful things we've written together? mari, you're such a special writing partner to have. you're one in a million. your girl is the best and i (and my lil collection of men) will forever love her. i don't even need to tell you how much i adore your writing because you know i could read a novel of your works. please write mel into a book, i NEED

my final thing i wanna say is just -

suns out, guns out - i love them and i love you ♡♡♡♡

[clumsyclifford]

ok hello i absolutely love all ur fics, you’ve just got a certain quality in ur writing that is just… mmm. yeah so anyway, do you have any advice on how to improve or just how to write?? (especially fic cause personally i struggle with that more than original stuff??)

hello!! that is very kind of you to say thank you <3

advice on how to write. oh boy. oh man. well i can try. i will do my best. i will also try to be brief but we all know how that song goes

update from having finished answering this: alright. okay. this is not only long, but decidedly english teacher-y. i’m sorry that i am the way that i am. this is what you get for asking a leo for writing advice. am i joking? maybe. maybe not. anyway. this post got away from me in a big way so here’s a read more. warning: LONG post under the cut.

1. study your characters. for RPF like the band stuff i write, that literally means watching interviews, watching them perform, seeing how they interact with each other, picking up on their mannerisms (behavior) - what they do with their hands, if they repeat themselves or stutter when they talk, the quality of their voice when they're talking about different things, and so on. also keep track of things they mention a lot in interviews especially about each other - for example jack has mentioned before that alex has an annoying habit of twirling his hair when he zones out. that kind of thing. IMPORTANT NOTE!: you don’t have to use all of this information. just like studying for anything, you collect all the information you can and then you parse through it and use whatever you think will contribute or be relevant to your story.

2. remember that characters are people. or at least they’re representing people, which is an important distinction (see #3). still, considering that your characters are people can be a helpful way to get out of your head. see, characters are supposed to be archetypical, and fulfill a role, and say certain things in certain ways and never really deviate from that. but people are highly unpredictable and behave in random ways for random reasons and have thought processes that are unfathomable. people will just do fuckin’ whatever. if you’re worried that your characters aren’t behaving in a believable way, keep in mind that you’re trying to make your characters represent people, and people’s behavior is justifiable any number of ways. people just do shit.

3. remember that characters are not people. sike! no but seriously, this is just as important to remember. unfortunately, no matter how hard you try, characters are never going to be people. that’s a good thing for stories, though. characters can pick up on nuance in senses that people can’t - they can distinguish between different facial expressions, different smells, different sounds - BUT ONLY INSOFAR AS IT MOVES THE STORY ALONG. in other ways, characters are ridiculously oblivious. you can use this to your advantage. in fact, a lot of the time, you have to. if your character notices right away that someone is flirting with him, then you can’t write a 30k slow burn, for example. characters don’t do that thing humans do where they go “what?” but then halfway through the re-explanation they register what’s been said. pretty much everything characters say has meaning. (by this i don’t mean semantic meaning, i mean significance - characters don’t really just say “what?” because they didn’t hear what someone said, they say “what?” because they can’t believe it or they don’t understand it or they refuse to understand it. characters never seem to run into the didn’t-hear-them problem. must be nice.)

characters can do whatever you want or need them to do, because you’re in charge of them. (sometimes this doesn’t feel true - mine do all kinds of shit and i just have go “well alright then” - but it is true.) they are gears in a story. you decide when and how they turn.

4. dialogue is your friend. i am super super biased here, because i looove writing dialogue. if you talk to sam about this i’m sure she would say that description and narration are the ways to go. but you came to me, so i get to say that dialogue is god. i don’t want to say that dialogue is the only method of communication (i know nonverbal communication is real), but dialogue is the fastest and most effective method of communication, and by extension, the most effective way to advance relationships between characters. now. obviously there are exceptions. if characters are kissing, they’re probably not doing a lot of talking. if they’re trying to be undercover or discreet, they’re more likely to rely on gestures and facial expressions than speaking. if you’re writing a very peaceful scene, you might not want to undercut it by adding a lot of chit-chat. but i maintain that dialogue is the best way to move a story along, for a few reasons. 

first, at least for me, too much description is just tiring. depending on how skillful the writer is (sam), i can read a fair amount before i hit my limit, but unlike in mean girls, the limit DOES exist. you don’t want to over-describe the world (see #5). second, i find that dialogue is a really really good indicator of a person’s character. this is especially true and relevant in fanfiction, which is a lot more character-driven than original fiction in many ways. also, in a sec i’m gonna talk about showing [not/and] telling, which is every english teacher’s bitch, but dialogue is a really good way of showing who a person is and also a good way to establish facts about the universe. you could just narrate and be like “Jack hated waking up early,” and that works and in many cases it’s perfectly legit. but you could also do something like this:

“What the fuck,” Jack mumbled, still half asleep. “You better have a really fucking good reason to be waking me up this early. Like someone better have fucking died.”

and sometimes that’s just a more fun way to say it. (for the record you can also show AND tell here! there’s no reason why you can’t have this line of dialogue and then a line in the narration confirming how very much jack is not a morning person!)

the last reason why i am particularly fond of dialogue is because i am also particularly fond of communication, which is a preference thing. let’s face it, guys: characters aren’t gonna communicate if they’re not literally actually talking to each other. dialogue means talking to each other. talking to each other means solving problems, fixing (or creating) conflicts, understanding each other better. i love communication, ergo, i love dialogue. And You Should Too. 

5. describe the world, but don’t over-describe. i opened this fic earlier and it was like “jack was excited to wake up to go to his first class at the university of baltimore” and i just. i was like is this really relevant. do i really need to know this. and i never found out because i closed the fic but in my defense it was on wattpad and i had only opened it out of curiosity. look. there are three ways to use details in fic. (a) introduce them right away (b) introduce them when they become relevant or (c) don’t introduce them at all. let me give you some examples. 

(a) say your character A (i’m using jack because i’m used to him) wakes up. he’s in his room in his house off-campus. character B (rian) walks into the room. this might be a good time to explain that rian is his housemate. to that point: “show not tell” is a good rule, but sometimes “show and tell” is just as good. e.g.: 

Rian walks in, holding Jack’s Green Day shirt and looking irritated. That’s really nothing new; Rian looks irritated at Jack roughly once a day. Being housemates for a year will do that to a friendship.

boom, now you’ve let everyone know they live together without throwing it in their face, and you’ve also told everyone that these two guys are friends and have been friends for at least a year but probably longer. you showed it by having rian walking in holding jack’s shirt - usual housemate behavior - but you also told it in a subtle way that established the relationship and some kind of history between these two. well done.

(b) sometimes you want a certain detail to make an impact. this is the kind of thing you hold onto and don’t specify, and in certain cases you leave the reader wondering, “well what about x?” and then when you finally explain x they go ohhhhhhhhhh. yknow. the italicized oh. consider the following:

(A)

“Alex is in my bio class,” Rian says, referring to Jack’s ex-boyfriend of last year.

Jack frowns. “So? Why should I care?”

“He’s my lab partner,” Rian says. “I have to spend a lot of time with him.”

“I don’t care what you and Alex do,” Jack says. “But you should know he sucks at bio.”

Rian gives Jack a look. “First of all, that’s not true, he’s incredibly smart. And second, I’m telling you as a courtesy, because I thought you might not want your ex-boyfriend hanging around our house after he broke your fucking heart.”

(B)

“Alex is in my bio class,” Rian says.

Jack frowns. “So? Why should I care?”

“He’s my lab partner,” Rian says. “I have to spend a lot of time with him.”

“I don’t care what you and Alex do,” Jack says. “But you should know he sucks at bio.”

Rian gives Jack a look. “First of all, that’s not true, he’s incredibly smart. And second, I’m telling you as a courtesy, because I thought you might not want your ex-boyfriend hanging around our house after he broke your fucking heart.”

the only difference between these two excerpts (which i just wrote lol they’re not from anything real) is that the second one doesn’t explain who alex is right away. that makes it way more interesting when rian reveals who alex is a few lines later. magic.

(c) take this college au that we’ve established here. where does it take place, you ask? easy answer: it doesn’t matter. you don’t need to say what school they’re at. this will make your job easier, because then no one can fact check you, and it also means you don’t have to decide what school they’re at. but even if you do decide, it’s not usually necessary to say. believe me, you can go thousands of words without ever needing to specify what school they’re at. you know why? because it doesn’t matter. and no one cares. and as soon as you specify in canon that they’re at a particular school, you are bound to be accurate to everything that school does, and that makes your job way more difficult than it needs to be. as hazel once said, work smarter, not harder. 

6. adverbs are also your friend. (yknow, words that describe verbs, typically ending in -ly, like “loudly” or “angrily” or “smoothly”.) ESPECIALLY when it comes to dialogue tags. (dialogue tags are the things you add to dialogue to say who’s talking and how they’re talking - like “he said” or “he whispered” or “he earnestly explained” or whatever). a lot of the writing advice you’ll see nowadays will usually guide you away from overusing dialogue tags other than the classic “says/said” and i STRONGLY concur with that advice. things like yelled, cried, mumbled, snapped - these are very good in moderation, when you’re really trying to emphasize the way a person is speaking. the more you use them, the less impact they have. in most cases, a simple “he said [adverb]” will do. instead of “he snapped” consider “he said curtly/sharply/coldly.” instead of “he mumbled” consider “he said quietly/clumsily/softly.” I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THESE ARE NOT DIRECT SYNONYMS. every word has a nuanced and slightly different meaning and that is the BEAUTY of the english language!!!! all i’m saying is that in many cases, a verb can be replaced with an adverb to achieve roughly the same effect, without making the reader feel like they’re scanning a thesaurus.

and speaking of a thesaurus: it’s not cheating to use outside resources like thesaurus.com to help you come up with words. i fuckin love thesaurus.com. i use that shit all the time for everything. i use it when i’m writing emails. i used it just now to write that last paragraph. thesaurus.com is your BEST friend.

7. grammar. (and spelling but that’s really a given.) unfortunately if i tried to teach you all of the essential rules of grammar this post would exceed tumblr’s previously-nonexistent word count limit. so i’m not gonna teach you any of them. this is just a general point to suggest that if/when you’re writing, have someone you trust, with a good grasp of grammar, look over it. of course it doesn’t have to be perfect or AP style or anything like that. readers will overlook a certain amount of grammar mistakes and every reader has a different threshold. but in general, as a grammar geek and former journalism editor-in-chief, i have a duty to my grammurai code to preach the importance of grammar in writing. good grammar does not necessarily mean good writing and vice versa, bad grammar does not necessarily mean bad writing, but bad grammar makes good writing a lot harder to read, and in some cases will even obscure your actual meaning. so please, have someone read it. for the record this is me offering up my services. i am very good at fixing grammar. i have lots of weaknesses in writing but grammar is one of my strengths. please prioritize grammar. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

***

okay so now that i’ve said all of this shit and pretended to be an expert and embodied everyone’s tenth grade english teacher, let me add one very important disclaimer:

none of this is always relevant.* writing is an art, not a science. you are never going to be following all of the rules, all of the time. you shouldn’t. it’s good to know the basics of constructing a plot, establishing a character, showing and/not telling, moving the story along. but a lot of this advice is really subjective and heavily influenced by my writing experience and habits and tendencies and preferences, and those are simply not generalizable to the world. i am a sample size of one and science dictates that that means my results cannot be statistically significant. i am just some guy. earlier i said you don’t want to over-describe the world. but maybe you do! maybe you’re really into worldbuilding and you want people to know what they’re getting into. maybe you’re like sam, and you just don’t feel as confident in your dialogue skills but you love painting word pictures. i said that adverbs are your friend, but maybe you just prefer to use verbs. maybe you don’t want ANY dialogue tags and you want the reader to interpret the dialogue based on context and content. i said that characters aren’t people and they won’t behave like people, but maybe you’re trying to write hyper-realistic characters. maybe you’re just going for believability over narrative. WHATEVER. the point is, rules are made to be broken. no one is going to have The Answer for How To Write Good because there isn’t just one answer. every single writing rule has exceptions and you can be that exception as many times as you want.

*except grammar. grammar is fucking always relevant.

i hope any of this advice was helpful to you, even though i english teacher-ed the fuck out of it. and for what it’s worth, i approached this as if you were a relatively novice writer, but i know absolutely jack shit about your writing prowess and experience and habits. so maybe you already know all of this and none of what i’ve said is helpful at all. if you have a more specific problem, i would be happy to try and help. if you’re hoping for more specific feedback, i’d have to read something of yours first - but again, happy to try and help. i don’t know if you can tell but i loooove writing and english and grammar and all of this shit and it would be my honor. i have now spoken so long that james madison himself is begging me to shut up so i’ll stop here but thank you for coming by and giving me the opportunity to expatiate a shit ton. and GOOD LUCK i forgot the most important advice of writing which is HAVE FUN LOVE WHAT YOU WRITE AND WRITE WHAT YOU LOVE OKAY BYE

[hanijunk]

Alright boys, girls, and nonbinary folks of the world. It’s 5:36am (1/30 when I first started) as I decide to give up on my attempt to continue to focus on learning statistics, avoid studying for my two upcoming midterms, and put off my two actual essays for two different classes.

Instead we’re going into a dive about ✨ KazuFuuma ✨ . Is this me telling you you gotta ship it? No of course not, you’re entitled to your own ships! You don’t really gotta care about it as a ship. But I do want people to recognize it’s THERE canonically, and how disregarding it is extremely unfair to Kazuki as a character particularly. Also, I’m working on the assumption anyone clicking this at least knows the bare bones about what KazuFuuma (ex. You know they are a ship of Kazuki/Fuuma from Dolce, you know they are childhood friends, you know who Dolce is, you know about Honeyworks, etc.) I’ll be making references to specific things, but I won’t always go into heavy detail. Might just hope you know it or take my word for what it is, and go into analyzing it. Some I’ll put direct references to find, but some I’ll trust you can find it yourself. If you somehow read this MAMMOTH and want reference to a specific thing mentioned, hmu I can help you find it!!

Also I hate tumblr formatting sm if you legit wanna read this 7 page essay but hate tumblr format lmk I'll add it as a google doc link instead too. anYWHO

Before actually getting into the meat of things lemme preface some stuff.

Again it’s like almost 6am so this will be disorganized and very train of thought (and likely long due to the fact when I fly by the seat of my pants I’m known to get unnecessarily extensive). It’s definitely gonna be in large part why it’s important to recognize as a romantic relationship foundation and what about it shapes Kazuki’s character in particular. Maybe a bit of how it’s been built up and its general focus and implications. Dunno yet. We’ll see LMAOO

I say f*ck. Not a lot, just a handful of times. This ain’t something scholarly this is for my own enjoyment so if you don’t like that might not wanna read. And it’s not like spitefully I just curse a lot if you haven’t...read my tags before lol

Again this is through the lens of a Kazuki stan. Of COURSE I’m going to have some level of bias, but if anything that bias may help more than hurt because that means I become FIXATED and think a lot about Kazuki. Which plays into establishing just how important it is that Kazufuuma’s relationship is recognized, especially in a romantic light at this point. Lmfao. 

I’ll have a few more prefaces about the actual content below but to keep this from getting too long if you wanna read come below the cut owo

I have extremely limited knowledge of Japanese just taking a few classes in highschool (so like 3 yrs ago) and live in America. This means a lot of my knowledge is gathered through the english translations of the super duper incredible and lovely people in the Honeyworks fandom who provide translations (delaix and takanenene esp have provided so much for me being able to understand Dolce) and my own limited Japanese paired with Google Translate for things that remain untranslated.

This only will be drawing on information I have come in contact with and have access to and making assumptions based on that, most (if not all) of which is in the public domain. So things like the Dolce Manga Volumes released via Animate, exclusive 4komas, and Light Novels are out of my area for the most part (apart from again snippets of translations thanks to this fandom’s godlike and generous translators).

I will not be drawing on anything from the first Dolce album with the exception of Nade Nade. From a meta standpoint, I consider those songs as songs made as performance media as opposed to character explorations. Nade Nade is the exception because (1) it was released a whole year before the album and (2) you can tell it’s explicitly an exploration of Fuuma and Kazuki’s interpersonal relationship even if it’s in a slightly more performance based context than the songs that came out with the Dolce LNs. Easiest parallel I can make to show this is if you held Non-Fantasy, Yume Fanfare, and Samishigariya up against each other, you could tell the difference in intended audience and intended purpose the same way the Dolce 1st album, Nade Nade, and the songs of the LNs do respectively. Even if there is some basis to ground Kazufuuma, for the purposes of this essay I’ll be acting under the assumption the 1st album falls under the Non-Fantasy equivalent category.

THAT WAS A LOT OF PREFACING CONSIDERING LIKE 2 PPL WILL PROBABLY READ IT I just have a tendency to anytime I do anything analytical lay down ground acknowledgements for myself to work on just...cuz it makes me feel less guilty for any accidental misinformation even if I’m writing towards my future self to read lolll IM SORRY WITHOUT FURTHER TO DO HERE’S THE BRAIN DUMP

First let’s go ahead and establish why it needs to be recognized as an important relationship. Again, I’m a Kazuki stan. He’s my favorite character not only of Dolce but also of the entire Honeyworks series, and as much as I love him for reasons outside the ship, whether you like it or not Kazufuuma is an essential aspect of his character and narrative. Of course there’s the fact that him and Fuuma are childhood friends, so that’s going to in part define their characters and interactions with each other and those around them. They’re both going to be relevant to one another and important to one another’s stories to an even greater extent than the rest of the members of Dolce. But on Kazuki’s side at least, it’s an EXTREME amount. A running plotpoint in Dolce Diary is the sheer amount of dedication Kazuki has to Fuuma and how much his thoughts and decisions are influenced by Fuuma, whether it be how he feels happiest spending time with Fuuma, how he decided to get his piercing to represent he wanted to protect Fuuma, how he doesn’t want to dislike food so he can eat what Fuuma dislikes, etc. Not to mention running jokes about his borderline overprotectiveness and downright possessiveness of Fuuma, how proud he is when Fuuma gets praised, or that one 4koma that literally explicitly states he can read Fuuma’s mind when he thinks motherfucking ‘dirty thoughts’ about his childhood friend (Fuuma). I still don’t know what the fuck to make of that last bit. Genuinely. Or the fact it’s a fucking running joke. As in it’s not a one off. It’s been brought up multiple times. Kazuki what the fuck. 

That’s not to say that he doesn’t have character outside of Fuuma or he doesn’t interact with people other than Fuuma. He’s great friends with Sara, Girisha, and Kippei and is shown time and time again to have fun interactions with all of them, generally acting as the best support friend for every member of the group, not Fuuma alone. For instance how he helps Kippei with his self confidence issues or stays over at Sara’s to protect him from a cockroach (which he fails at lol). Nor is that to say all his interactions involving Fuuma focus solely on his devotion to Fuuma, especially in instances where the manga focuses on Dolce as a group dynamic (though even in that setting there are times where jokes about his devotion are thrown in). He’s kind, he’s stupid, he’s friendly, he’s an amazing character in his own right, and I love him for all those reasons. But that doesn’t change the fact a major part of his character and his character interactions are rooted in Fuuma, and arguably some of his most interesting, eccentric, and notable behaviors and traits revolve around Fuuma (again the mind reading for example).

Hell let’s take it one step further. If you look at the character bios of the Dolce members, you get everyone’s motives for being an idol and interests. Of them, Kazuki is the only one to have another character mentioned directly, not to mention that supporting Fuuma is explicitly stated to be his primary motive as to why he became an idol. Not even Fuuma’s sister is mentioned, though two arguments can be made for this. The first would be that Fuuma’s backstory about wanting to fulfill his dream for himself and his sister was decided later to explain Fuuma’s choice to crossdress though it can be argued it was intentionally done to leave it as a reveal at a later date, to which I would argue I don’t think this backstory was a choice in post. While Fuuma’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra exploring that backstory was released a little less than a year after Dolce was revealed, the preview to set up Fuuma’s backstory was actually the first thing released after the character bios on the Dolce Official Twitter page if you exclude a drawing of Dolce from Yamako. The second argument could be that information about his sister was intentionally withheld to set up the reveal when Fuuma’s extra released to explore it. However, going by that logic (which I do agree with), that would also mean that Fuuma’s inclusion and importance in Kazuki’s character bio also set up his dedicated extra, which I don’t think would be incorrect to assume considering what his actual extra turned out being.

Which brings me to the thing that makes it inexplicable to write off the romantic implications behind Kazufuuma: Kazuki’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra, Suki. I shipped Kazufuuma before even knowing of Suki, sure. But the fact that Suki even exists is a shock to me and drove into me the fact that Kazufuuma wasn’t just my own projection. Again, it’s not a surprise that Fuuma shapes Kazuki’s life. They’re childhood friends, of course they’re going to be important to each other. But this extra explicitly brought Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma under a direct spotlight. At first I was thinking oh, this extra was just to acknowledge the fact that Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship can have romantic implications, but the end of it the conclusion that we got was that it didn’t matter what type of “like” he felt for Fuuma. Originally, I thought it wasn’t anything more than saying there are all types of like, and it doesn’t always need to be explicitly defined, but I appreciated the fact they were aware that they were writing Kazuki in a way that conveyed romantic implications. 

Then I thought about it because, again, I love Kazuki of course I’m going to think about his character extra, and realized...that’s not how these character extras have worked. There are only three character extras out as far as I know and have read: Fuuma, Kippei, and Kazuki. If we look at Fuuma and Kippei’s, each extra had a conclusion, sure, but they didn’t have a resolution. Rather, they were simply setting up explicitly what each character’s primary character arc and conflict were. Fuuma’s extra brought attention to the fact that he’s particularly a crossdressing idol by exploring the motives behind it. His choice to be a crossdressing idol is constantly under fire both by himself and the world around him. He’s not immune to those who consider his crossdressing strange, and a part of his story is both finding people who accept his decision to crossdress and to succeed for himself as a crossdressing idol. It’s an essential part of how we understand and define him as a character and it’s a central part of how he interacts with the world around him. For Kippei, it lays the severity of his insecurity under the spotlight and his journey and motives for improving himself. Again, this isn’t something isolated and resolved in the extra; his extreme insecurity and negativity is constantly affecting how he interacts with practically everyone from his fellow Dolce members to his fans despite the fact in all honesty? He’s fucking insanely talented in his own right, his own brother mentioning how smart he is and how he has amazing reflexes. For Kippei, his negativity is an essential part of how we understand and define him and central to how he interacts with the world as much as Fuuma’s decision to crossdress is to him.

Which brings us back to Kazuki, of course. In his dedicated extra, in the chapter that’s supposed to explore and establish and bring attention to an essential part of his character, the aspect of himself under investigation is how he feels about Fuuma. It’s not just how he behaves around Fuuma, it’s explicitly an exploration of his feelings, on top of the fact it’s explicitly an exploration about whether or not he likes Fuuma r o m a n t i c a l l y. Literally the conflict is spurred on by someone outright asking “Do you like him?” and having to clarify “I mean romantically.” What they decided to focus on for Kazuki’s character and emphasize and establish is that Kazuki’s like towards Fuuma toes the line between friendship and romance. His ambiguous feelings towards Fuuma (if we leave them inconclusive as Suki did) are just like Fuuma’s crossdressing and Kippei’s insecurity in the sense the weight of whatever those feelings may be are seen in how he interacts with the world around him and influences his behaviors. It would be another story if they introduced the potential and shut it down all within the extra, because then his central conflict would to me be less directly open to romantic potential and more simply about how his arc was meant to explore the dynamic of the behavior of an extremely dedicated best friend. The fact that he may be romantically attracted to Fuuma or may be only platonically dedicated to Fuuma is instead something that looms over Kazuki in the same way Fuuma’s decision to crossdress constantly looms over him. It’s what Dolce wanted to point to and say this is Kazuki’s central character conflict and central arc: exploring what type of feelings he has towards Fuuma. 

Sure, it can be argued that there’s only three Dolce Diary character extras, there’s not enough to be sure about that being the purpose of the extras unless we get the other two’s extras. First, at this point I honestly don’t know if or when they’re going to release an extra revolving around Sara and Girisha just because not only has it been over a year and a half since the latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Kazuki’s) was released despite the gap between the first and latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Fuuma’s and Kazuki’s) were within a year of release but also because the Dolce 4komas and comics they’ve been posting to Twitter have decreased (last one being over half a year ago) potentially due to them deciding to focus on releasing Dolce manga content through the purchasable volumes instead. (This is not particularly related to the Kazufuuma argument, just wanted to put out there my two cents on what Sara and Girisha’s extra/focal arc would be. Based on a large part of the Dolce Diary in conjuncture with Can’t an Idol Fall in Love, I’d argue Sara’s would be his journey to regain his passion for performing, and if it’s not that I’d say it’d be coming out of his self-imposed isolation and opening up to people again. As for Girisha, I have less of a concrete idea but I’m assuming it’d be something pertaining to how people often misconceive him whether it be in tandem with his determination, his optimism and sociability, or his stupidity/ability to ignore those misconceptions and work past them. But Girisha is treated like the comedic relief 90% of the time so I’m not entirely sure, but his primary conflict is definitely rooted in misconceptions of him being his roadblock imo. #MoreGirishaContentPlz) That being said, I personally feel like the three are already enough evidence, especially considering it would be honestly even more cruel for Kazuki’s character-centric extra to be focusing on something that wasn’t essential to his character and character arc, anyway. And though it’s not explicitly stated that these chapters are extras exploring a central character, you can kind of tell based on how they are (to my knowledge) the only Dolce Diary updates with cover/title cards each which include their focal character front and center. So working off that fact, the Kazuki-centric chapter established that a pillar to his narrative was his feelings towards Fuuma and that those feelings are still open to romantic potential. 

But if you follow me, this is why up until Can’t an Idol Fall in Love With Another Idol’s release, I was terrified of them writing that off. I would have been ok if it was just an arc that was given attention then continued to actively work in the background, as all the character arcs have been over all of Dolce’s content. The fact that they might be giving Fuuma a love interest and giving Fuuma a love arc while Kazuki’s feelings were still up in the air and were still the primary highlighted narrative for him would have been fucking scuffed. To me, it would be like… why would they make him so Fuuma-centric to the point that even his dedicated chapter was not just focused on Fuuma but focused on the ambiguity and potential of him having romantic feelings for Fuuma, yet reduce him to being Fuuma's designated right-hand man. Don’t get me wrong, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. But again, rather than conclude Kazuki’s answer in Suki to be that his feelings were of friendship, they left it open ended and allow audience members to be actively aware that Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma still had potential to be romantically coded. It would just be so weird to quickly close off that narrative by giving Fuuma a love interest as opposed to letting Kazuki conclude it himself. It would be fucking beyond frustrating for me, at least Eventually, I kept trying to drive my hopes that they would explore Kazuki’s narrative at all down to the ground because it was a Fuuma-centric novel; maybe if anything they’d explore those feelings in his own novel after the fact. But then they kept having little drops here and there of Kazuki being even the slightest bit relevant and I’d go back to questioning “Are??? They??? Is this on purpose??? Do they know what they’re doing or are they just doing this because Kazuki’s just so important to Fuuma as his best friend that he’s there as his right-hand I genuinely can’t tell???” And um. Welp.

Safe to say Can’t An Idol Fall in Love sold me on the fact that they know what they’re doing LOL. And to anyone who thinks that Kazuki’s feelings can still be read as ambiguous in CAIFILWAI as opposed to explicitly romantic - whether it be due to a fear they may pull the “I like him as a friend” card or due to the disbelief that they have an explicit mlm main character in the Honeyworks series - I’d like to cover any bases that may make you think this way. If you think it’s just Kazuki acting like a protective friend, why do you think he calls Yui a rival? If you’ve only seen the MV and think it’s ambiguous or can be taken as the "likfe" for friend, then does that mean you think Yui’s feelings toward Fuuma are also ambiguous or as a friend? With the way Yui responds, she is trying to rival Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma. She and Kazuki recognize whatever feeling it is that they hold towards Fuuma, both of their feelings are the same type. I don’t think most people would argue that Yui’s confession about Fuuma was one of pure respect and friendship. Plus, if anything I’d argue of the three characters in the MV, Fuuma is the one whose feelings are left the most ambiguous despite him being the central character. It’s heavily implied that he may be forming feelings for Yui, but nowhere is it established either in the song or in the MV, especially if you compare it to Kazuki and Yui’s declarations or if you compare it to Sara’s feelings for Uru in Can’t An Idol Fall in Love. Fuuma’s romantic narrative here is trying to figure out how he feels for Yui, while for Kazuki and Yui they’ve established a rivalry because they both have mutually established they like Fuuma romantically.

If the MV isn’t enough for you and Suki isn’t enough for you for...some reason…??? You can check out the snippets of the light novel which the wonderful takanenene translated: one which revisits the conflict set up in Suki and one that covers the confession scene in the MV in more detail. If the fact that the conflict set up in Suki (aka the lurking feeling of not knowing if all he felt for Fuuma was only platonic or more than platonic) was specifically reestablished in the LN for anyone who didn’t keep up with Dolce Diary didn’t tip you off that it was something important, his behavior in the confession scene as depicted by the LN definitely should have. He’s possessive about his spot by Fuuma’s side. He doesn’t want that spot to be taken by anyone else. Even if he knows that they can help Fuuma, he wants it to be him. And this line: “Kazuki then trails off his words, quietly saying ‘That’s why…’ and then gave Yui a slightly painful smile, his cheeks turning red,” before he declares Yui a rival and states he likes Fuuma. If you can tell me you read that line and are still on the fence about Kazuki’s “like” towards Fuuma being romantic, please message me and I will see how I can get through to you. Like it wasn’t even just a romantically coded confession. It’s just a romantic confession. That “like” is romantic. And I’m so proud that he’s not only come to understand for himself how he feels, but that he’s confident enough to ask the person he sees as a romantic rival to speak in private and not only clarify her feelings for Fuuma but before she can even do that firmly establishes that he loves Fuuma with conviction. Kazuki my boy I’m so proud of you. *sniffs*

And that’s it for establishing Kazufuuma as at least canonically one-sidedly canon and why there’s not only no reason to deny it but also why denying it is a fucking disrespectful move towards Kazuki. He’s a character, sure, but that doesn’t change the fact you shouldn’t write off his struggle to come to be convicted enough to say it out loud. This has been something weighing on him at least a year, if not more (all I know is it started when both he and Fuuma were in some year in middle school). And as a character in a piece of media, I’ve been saying this the entire time, but brushing it off as non-romantic is literally chucking a fucking pillar of his character’s story into the gutter. And to those who may be saying Kazuki’s confession came out of nowhere and is pandering reread this entire fucking essay again I dare you to do it and tell me to my face it’s pandering. Again. Writing off the buildup as pandering is disrespectful to him, disrespectful to his character and narrative, and disrespectful to the wonderful people who have been creating Dolce so diligently and have crafted this narrative for us. Saying his “supposed feelings” and “ambiguous confession” is pandering is like saying Fuuma’s crossdressing is pandering which. If you say either of those I will find you and I will shank you in the fucking gut. Even if you’re not fully into Dolce, recognize these characters are actually very well developed and executed amazingly, as per every Honeyworks character that has come to exist. I don’t blame you if you weren’t aware of the weight of Kazufuuma, but now that you read this I hope you are. That’s mainly what I needed to get out there, but as follows will be me more exploring how Kazufuuma has been built up and generally waving my hand off at where it may be going. If you want you can dip, thanks for reading up to here because I know I repeated a lot because it’s just. So important to drill into your head and has been something I’ve been hung up about constantly. LOL

As for where exactly they’re taking it from this point on, I honestly don’t know. In all honesty, I didn’t even expect them to take it the direction they did. But honestly, I think the direction they went with it is really interesting and better than I could have imagined, in my opinion at least. Honeyworks never ceases to amaze me with their storytelling and narrative choices, and I don’t think there’s any that stand out to me as being severely questionable that they haven’t reapproached at some point down the line. And, again, I think they’re treating this with a lot of care and deserved respect. So I’m just gonna be gushing about how smart they set it up and how smart they’ve been executing it and maybe my own hopes on the direction it could go.

Whether they make Kazufuuma reciprocated I have no real clue or bearings, but to me my gut reaction is they will. Of course, I’m biased, but again if you trace things all the way back to 2018 and step through Dolce’s content and growth from there, I’d say even if they didn’t know if they could execute it like this and see it to fruition, I’d argue that Kazufuuma has been at least heavily implied since the beginning as a relationship they wanted to explore from both sides of the relationship. Obviously I brought up Kazuki’s character bio already, but if you look at the *goes to count* 5th Dolce Diary update already has a joke jabbing at the fact that Kazuki is technically Fuuma’s type (and the way Kippei and Kazuki excitedly react is so cute). The fifth update. And as stated before there are tons of Kazufuuma moments in Dolce Diary, whether it’s played for comedic effect or played straight (and this is post Suki but oh my god I’ve said it before I’ll say it again get yourself someone who looks at you the way Kazuki looks at Fuuma oh my jesus). But song-wise, I mentioned the one Dolce album song I would bring up is Nade Nade and this is where it comes! 

Not only is Nade Nade specifically focused on Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship as opposed to the whole of Dolce despite being the first song, it included the setup/preview of the Fuuma-centric extra prior to the full release of the Fuuma-centric extra itself and was released early as fuck. Literally between the 6th and 7th update to Dolce Diary. Sure, it could be to isolate them as a duo for marketing purposes (they’re very often the two promoted idols together if the whole of the group aren’t included), but the way it’s established as a perspective song as opposed to a general idol duet is what fascinates me. Anyone who didn’t know about Dolce prior and only followed Honeyworks for music would be first introduced to these characters through this song alone, and maybe this is where my Kazufuuma bias comes from but I was one of those people LOL. I thought it was just a cute one-off relationship that they had set up for the purpose of a song and that it was an implied friends-to-lovers story that would never get a conclusion. Also I mistakenly thought Fuuma was a girl oop-. In the full context of Dolce, this song in part helped establish Fuuma and Kazuki more solidly as a unique duo out of all of Dolce, but it also specifically explored through Fuuma’s eyes just how much Fuuma recognizes and appreciates the unwavering support Kazuki gives him to follow his dreams as he wishes. For Fuuma, he loves Kazuki too, though whether it holds any romantic potential in the same way Kazuki loves him has never been explored to nearly the same extent. But Fuuma appreciates how Kazuki’s remained by his side and does everything he can to support him, so Nade Nade explores how his way of expressing his love and thankfulness to Kazuki is by never saying that he needs Kazuki by his side. He’s glad Kazuki’s always been there for him, and his reciprocation takes on the form of being ready to unwaveringly support Kazuki and not ask for more than he already has, even if it meant Kazuki would be leaving his side, despite the fact that he really does wish they could remain together forever just as Kazuki does. The one point he lets himself say something vaguely close to always wanting to stay together, he gets a surprised expression out of Kazuki and says an ambiguous “suki dayo.” Of course, this it much less romantically coded than what we get from Kazuki in Suki and CAIFILWAI, but there is an interesting emphasis put on it nonetheless. Keep in mind, this is all established through the song, which released long before not only Fuuma’s character-centric extra released but also Kazuki’s character-centric extra released, so there is at least a substantial setup for Fuuma’s feelings towards Kazuki’s being strong as well and possibly grow to be reciprocated one day.

I think for me the most fascinating part about Nade Nade is how they tied it back around to Can’t An Idol Fall In Love with Another Idol. Again, without remembering Nade Nade, I still thought CAIFILWAI was brilliantly explored and executed, even if some people would have preferred no love triangle. But honestly, revisiting Nade Nade makes me trust even more the direction they’re taking with this. Whether or not they make Kazufuuma canon mutually (which. Even if they for some inexplicable reason didn’t I’m going down with this ship.), I’m sure they’re putting a lot of thought into the story, because the last bit of Nade Nade directly parallels the misunderstanding that arose from Fuuma mishearing the Kazuki and Yui. Fuuma is resolved to support Kazuki in any area he’s given the chance, and that explicitly includes if Kazuki had some girl he liked, which is what he assumes is going on. The fact that they tied this back around in the form of a misunderstanding was really really smart and Honeyworks is always so good at parallels and references back to their older songs, but for some reason I didn’t expect this. I don’t know how to say why, but the fact that the song that started it all, kicked off both Dolce and Kazufuuma, was directly referenced both visually in the MV with a cameo at the start and narratively despite the central dynamic being predominantly explored in this story in particular was that of Fuuma and another potential love interest and involves said potential love interest for some reason makes me think that (sorry Yui) this is all planned out for Kazufuuma in the grand scheme of things. That being said, I don’t know if me thinking it was planned all along is just me with shipper goggles, but the idea it’s come full circle nearly 3 years later is not shipper goggles and a very very well done parallel in my opinion, whether this trajectory was their plan for Kazufuuma from the beginning or not. Just wanted to gush about that some more. 

There’s more I could go into especially if I went into specific details about interactions or specific implications established in Honeyworks' Dolce content about different characters that would be fascinating to explore in relation to and under the lens of Kazufuuma, but I think this is uh...plenty long enough. Plus, I doubt you'll stop seeing Kazufuuma posts from me so those ideas will probably just be miniposts or somethin.

Back to the overarching point of this segment, idk what they’ll do with this story in the end, but do I think Kazufuuma will canon? I’m used to looking at ships that aren’t explicitly apparent with a sliver of skepticism, but all things considered (as I stated before) yeah. I don’t see reason why they wouldn’t now that they’ve explicitly identified there is a romantic dimension to it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like to me, the setup isn’t something that would be written off as unrequited? And this doesn’t have to play into why I don’t think it will canon, my personal opinion on the Fuuyui relationship (again albeit through the lens of a hard Kazufuuma shipper lmao) has it’s own merits and is really cute, I find it cute in the way I found Koyuhina cute. I personally never really shipped Koyuhina, and especially since they slipped Kotarou into Ima Suki Ni Naru I was more curious about who this kid was and how he played into things I didn’t really see Koyuhina as something that would come to fruition. Similarly, there’s more importance in the overall sense on Kazuki than there is Yui (considering he’s one of the 5 original and focal members of this generation of idols, this would be natural), as well as the fact there’s just way more foundation and exploration in Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship than there is Fuuma and Yui. As for how much of a balance there is inside the LN itself, the fact that they seem to have spent a substantial amount relaying the foundation of Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship and re-exploring it (at least in Kazuki’s perspective) at all on top of how much content there is covering their relationship prior to the LN ever since Dolce’s origin just feels like that relationship holds more weight. Pretty much Kazufuuma feels more established as a priority in general. The way I personally hope Fuuyui plays out is whether they wind up holding mutual feelings or not or whether Fuuma doesn’t feel that way towards Yui is they get a relationship akin to Kotarou and Arisa. Albeit, Kotarou and Arisa never viewed each other in a romantic light, but they had mutual respect and solidarity. That’s the type of friendship I hope comes out of Fuyui. And considering there hasn’t been a break-up in any Honeyworks’ canon relationships (nor do I expect there to be… they’re all perfect for each other LMAO) it would actually be interesting if Fuuyui get together but don’t endgame and Kazufuuma is established as the inseparable endgame after some realization or another, though I don’t expect them to go that route nor do I know if that’d be the best way to go about it anyway. Also final point, Honeyworks seems to have a thing for childhood friends trope anyway soooooo owo All in all, don’t know where they’re taking it, just excited to see where it goes. 

TL;DR of this *counts* 7 page essay, stan Kazufuuma. Not gonna proof this. Maybe I’ll edit and repost but yall are getting a confusing clusterfuck of ramblings over 2-3 hr periods of me writing across 3 different days at around 5am each day. Uh. If you got this far like and subscribe and-- jk plz reply to this mammoth anywhere you see fit or tell me if you have stuffs to add or counter or whatnot I like hearing people talk about Kazufuuma ;w; I am Kazuki and Kazufuuma brainrot can you tell after reading this? No? Lemme just remind you I’m K--

[oftenderweapons]

Love Talk - Taehyung

Pairing: Taehyung x reader (nicknamed Lace)

Wordcount: 11k words

Genre: smut, fluff, (Taehyung is moody but no angst I guess) dating au, idol au

Rating: 18+

Finally! I can post this! My inner praise-thirsty brat has been missing y’all’s attention so here I am!

Actually I’ve managed to write the end this afternoon after I finished writing a whole chapter of my dissertation (God, why do I need a degree...)

Anyway, here is Taehyung’s take at love talk. This is clearly smut, so minors please, do not read or interact.

Quick recap/everything you need to know before reading. Taehyung and Lace (in this fic called many many nicknames since “Lace” hasn’t sticked yet) have been dating for a couple months and Tae has been taking it slow, they have done some coupley stuff and have made out, but they haven’t been really physical yet. Until he visits her late at night after coming back from a trip in Paris with Jimin. And he has a gift which might spark up something interesting. 

Disclaimer: Personally, I don’t see Lace as the stereotypical slim girl, but there’s a very generic reference to this. Also, Lace has taken bondage and basic domination lessons in a dungeon. Taehyung knows this. Both of them treat this fact as something serious rather than a kinky fun fact, since it comes from one of Lace’s insecurities.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: woah. so. Foreplay, mostly masturbation (male and female receiving), making out and grinding, marking, biting, Oral (male receiving), duality king Kim Taehyung, mental health and depression, body image issues, the characters discuss public sex, food play, oral sex, sensation play and impact play, wax play, tantric massage, BDSM, domination, bondage and submission, sex toys, exhibitionism, dungeons. Both the characters have had same-sex experiences and relationships. There might be a few swearwords here and there.

Wordcount: 11k. This thing is big so I’ll come back and edit it a bit at a time. 

Here is my masterlist!

And remember to vote for next prompt :) (link in bio!)

Enjoy <3

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“Hey.”

“Hey.” He replied right back. He was standing in the empty corridor at three a.m., the light coming from your doorway illuminating his chocolate curls, his eyes gleaming darkly. “Can I come in?”

You nodded, opening the door and letting him in. 

The low lights of your hallway made him move slowly in the room, since he’d never ventured upstairs before. Reaching your living room, you switched on the small lamp beside the sofa, a gentle yellow warmth diffusing. 

“Your house is very pretty.” He said, looking around. 

“It’s basic. I’m still trying to buy some pieces as I go.” You commented, your mind still slowed down by sleep. 

“I’m sorry. I know it’s late.” He said. He was being extremely scarce with his words. “We arrived in town ten minutes ago.”

“How was our trip?” You asked out of habit. You were still trying to understand what to expect from this. 

“Very tiring.” He murmured. “I think I’ll be jetlagged all the way to next week.”

He had been in Paris with Jimin after being in London for group schedule. Of course he’d been conflicted between coming back to you and spending some time with his best friend, but at the same time, he thought you'd been dating for a short time and after all, he should give Jimin the priority. 

You smiled. “Eight hours?”

“Seven.” He corrected. “May I?” He gestured to the sofa, a two-seats dark red velvet number dominating the room entirely. 

You nodded. 

“You look incredible.” His low voice made your insides shake. “Have you just woken up?” He shook his head in disappointment. “I’ve woken you up, haven’t I?” He shook his head, reprimanding himself. 

“It’s okay.” You said, sitting beside him at a respectful distance. “What brings you here at three a.m. on a workday?” You asked, mischief tinting your voice. 

“I wanted to see you.” He replies dryly. 

What’s with the atmosphere?

Something felt off. It wasn’t just your sleep-addled mind. There was tension. 

“Okay.” You argued back in his same attitude. 

He shook his head, throwing his spine against the pillows, inflating his lungs. As he turned towards you, something lustful and obscure possessed his eyes. “Say yes.”

You furrowed your brow. “To what?”

“Fuck, just say yes, ____.” He begged with a growl. 

You bit your lip and nodded.

He was on you in a millisecond, kissing you with an intensity that you didn’t think his lithe figure could muster. Yes, of course he was solid under your touch but his body was sinewy rather than bulky. It was a matter of kinetic force rather than actual strength. 

He smothered you under his torso, your lungs constricting with the impact. The kiss wasn’t even an attempt at gentleness. It was a matter of teeth and tongues and sucking straight away. Your hand gripped the hair at his nape, trying to control him, slow him down. If he kept this up, he was going to bruise your lips. Soon he grew breathless and parted from your lips. His body was thrown over the sofa, over your lap, into your arms. 

“I’ve been thinking of this single spot for days.” He murmured, diving for the crook of your neck, immediately nibbling on it. One hand already on your hair, he tried to move the other one around you, between your back and the soft burgundy velvet. “And I find you all fuzzy and warm from sleep, skin tender, freshly woken up, wearing this sorry excuse of a nightgown.” He snarled.

“Taehyung.” You murmured. 

“Lace looks incredible on you, dove.” He lowered his head and started sucking on the upper curve of your left breast, clearly intending to leave a bruise. 

You combed his hair back, looking at him while his eyes stared into yours. 

“Tae, baby. Why don’t we get more comfortable? I have a queen size bed in the other room, are you sure you want to stay on the sofa?” You offered gently. 

He shook his head, still latched onto you, no intention of letting go whatsoever. 

"Taetae, you're gonna get a cramp, darling." You caressed his face with affection, his wide-eyed look making you weak. 

He finally parted from you and inspected the bruise. Happy with the result, he kissed the mark, drying it with his cheek, slightly scratching you with his stubble. "I think we should stay on the sofa." He argued with a rumble. 

He wouldn't answer for himself if he had you in bed. And it was too early to go all the way anyway. Of course his aim was getting his hands under your clothes — and possibly your hands under his, — but he also knew he wanted to take his time. His will was still strong enough to wait, but he knew, were he to be tempted, he would not hesitate. And he knew he wanted to play it slow, go one base at a time before diving all the way in. 

"Were you listening, Tae?" You asked, noticing the absent look on his face. 

He shook his head with an innocent look, his curls tickling your bosom. 

You giggled, fondness warming your gaze. "You want to stay here?" 

He nodded, his hair grazing your skin once more, his expression sparkling with a playful smile. 

"Then we'll stay here." You declared. "Do you want something to drink? Something to eat? To you it should be dinner time, right?" You fussed. 

"No, I'm okay, I'm trying to adjust." He explained. His expression went blank for a moment before lighting up in an Eureka! moment. "I have a gift for you!" He chimed happily. 

"Really?" You replied, incredulous. 

"It's a bit artsy and sexy, but it's from Paris, so…" He shrugged. 

"Oh, now I'm curious." You combed his hair back, exposing his forehead. 

"Let me—" He sat upright, disentangling himself from you. He sat cross-legged on the sofa and dove for his canvas bag. "Here." He said, handing you a paper bag. 

"Is it…" It was heavy. Very. You opened the bag and you were met with the heavy scent of printed paper. "A book." You realised, taking the volume in your hand, gently removing it from the bag. It was still covered in a thin layer of plastic. "Oh, God! It's that book! How did you find it?" 

He grinned. "A friendly bookseller. A connoisseur." He winked. "I didn't open it. I didn't want to ruin it. And I wanted to open it with you. Do you like it?" He dove into the crook of your neck once more, shaking his shaggy locks against your tender skin. 

"Thank you, baby." You kissed his cheek. You were still getting used to his mood swings from dark, charming gentleman to his bubbly tiger cub persona. “Do you mind if I go grab a glass of water and then we leaf through it together?” You asked. 

“Yeah. Grab one for me too.” If he had to have you half naked beside him for an hour or so, he’d better have something to keep him cool.

As you did your thing in the kitchen he looked around, wide eyed. The relaxing golden light coming from the lamp illuminated a shelf of fashion books and a series of black and white pictures on the walls. He recognised one as a feather. It looked very classy, still he knew you had bought it in a cheap shop downtown, a vintage parlour the two of you had visited during your fourth date. 

“Here, Tae.” You said, entering the room, putting the glasses on the small tables at each side of the sofa, one of which hosted the lamp. 

“Thank you.” He was sitting comfortably, legs slightly parted, his back laying on the sofa, elbows propped on the pillows. You stood in front of him, admiring him a little. 

He was used to being watched, but your scrutiny was so fierce and detached that he felt crystallised, as if any movement would send him shattering on the floor like a frozen leaf.

He looked up at you, mesmerised, but also so terribly afraid of your next move. Like you could incinerate him with your eyes. Slowly, he raised his back from his slouching, hands naturally meeting your hips. It was intimate and cold at the same time. You felt afraid of the intensity he could evoke with a simple touch and a glance. 

He called your name and it felt like an awakening, like you had never had a name before. His long lashes covered the upper part of his irises, giving you the sultriest, darkest look.

“Taehyung.” You whispered back, in hope you would sound just like he did. 

His hands moved from your hips to your waist, bringing you closer, right in front of him. He scooted closer to the edge of the cushion, his nose skimming the soft silk of your nightgown from your sternum to the dip of your navel. “I missed you, darling.” He kissed your belly, propping his chin on your stomach. 

Again, you combed his hair back. “I did send you a small gift, though.” You reminded him coolly. 

Once again he remembered the picture, the voice text, your breathy moans and needy whines as you whispered how much you were missing him, how dumb you had been to tell him that you could wait one more week before seeing him again. Your relationship wasn't sexual yet, but during his short stay in Paris you realised how quickly it had escalated, feeling the need to simply tell him how he made you feel, how hot it was to listen to his deep, warm voice as he talked about his day. He could have been reading his shopping list and you would get wet anyway. 

"You did send it." He replied. "And it was wholeheartedly appreciated." He said with a growl. 

You licked your lips as you noticed his legs spreading farther, parting to accommodate your standing figure. 

"Are you gonna make me beg for it?" He murmured, a pinch of worry in his voice. 

You raised an eyebrow, playing confused. 

Shaking his head, he tutted and grabbed your waist, his strong fingers digging into your skin as he turned you with his back to him, making you sit heavily between his thighs. "I won't beg for you tonight, Lace." He huffed minaciously in your ear, one arm coiling around your waist while his other palm dragged possessively from your hip bone to your knee, fingers digging into the soft skin of your inner thighs. 

“Let’s look at your kinky, niche art book.” He growled at your ear.

Nodding silently, you bent to the coffee table, lunging for the book, your hair tumbling forward and exposing the naked expanse of your shoulders. 

Of course he profited from the moment, lunging forward, drawing the line of your spine with the tip of his nose, from the upper hem of your nightgown to your nape, inhaling the flowery scent of your shampoo. 

You almost lost your grip on the heavy book, your body responding to his touch with a deep shiver and a slight loss of balance. He gripped your waist tighter, helping you up. “Did you like that?” He asked. 

You let your short breath and stumbling heartbeat speak for you. 

“Did you like that, sweetheart?” He asked again.

“Yeah.” You huffed. 

He chuckled gruffly. “Open the book.”

You used your nail to open the thin plastic foil, ripping it until you managed to open the cover. The first page was an unmade bed, the title printed in a dark, heavy font. 

“Passion portrayed”

The theme was very… French. Your ex-flatmate had recommended you the book, printed by one of her former university classmates. 

It didn’t even feign being ordinary or appropriate. From the very title of it, it was unmistakeably an erotic book, meant to expose intimate parts of the subjects’ life, exhibitionism in its most artistic vest.

“How does it work?” Asked Taehyung, his chin settling on your shoulder. 

“It’s a book.” You said, matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, but the theme.” He said, taking the book from your hands and turning it around, searching for an abstract.

You shrugged. “From what I’ve been told, some couples asked the photographer for a series of intimate pictures. They loved the results so much that they asked if the author ever thought of publishing them as a collection. The pictures were selected and rearranged to create this book.” You explained, using your forearm to sustain the back of the book, your hand turning the first page. 

“I like this.” Taehyung said, the page printed fully offering a wide, light green clearing in the middle of a wood. The straw field was bathed in orange twilight, the light cutting perfectly into the lens, creating small, interference halos in the picture. 

You smiled, nodding, your hair brushing against his cheek. 

He exhaled, his body relaxing. You felt so soft. Like his personal teddy bear. The skin of your thigh was warm against his palm, if slightly clammy. You were holding the book so to allow his hands to wander and he felt somehow confused and grateful for it, not knowing whether he could take advantage or whether you were just testing him. 

“Tell me when you want me to turn.” You said quietly. 

“Turn.” He said. The following two pages were only partly printed, hosting a smaller photograph on the center of each page. Both offered the same setting as before with a change of perspective, one lowered to the ground, in a picnic, the traditional chequered blanket laying on the ground, a wicker basket, small glass cups for wine, grapes, cheese and picturesque, cliché sandwiches; the other filtered through the backseat of a pickup. The definition of an American Sixties teenage rendezvous. “I can kind of figure where this is headed.” He murmured. 

You snickered. “I can only imagine.”

You turned the page again. Black and flashes of neon pink. Probably a club, empty. 

“Wow.” You said. The atmosphere had changed dramatically, contrasting with the previous page. The juxtaposition was somehow interesting. 

“Turn?” He asked.

You obeyed. Same disposition of pictures: two, smaller, at the center of the page, same setting — the club —  but through a different cut. A gothic black velvet armchair, the seat surrounded by elaborate swirls of sculpted ebony. The glimmering of metal in the darkness, reflecting the neon hot pink. 

“It looks like an adult club.” He murmured, his finger exploring the vague shape of chains hanging from the wall in the picture on the right. 

“I think so, too.” You agreed. “Have you ever visited one?” You asked, turning slightly to examine his reaction. 

He denied with a tut. “I’d like to visit one, though. It would be curious.” He shrugged.  “Have you?” 

You cocked your head to the side. “Kind of.”

He waited for you to elaborate. 

“Call it an occupational hazard of sort for a lingerie retailer. You just get used to a lot of crazy stuff, meet a lot of crazy people, get into a lot of crazy hobbies.” You approximately justified yourself.

“Was it for your… extracurricular?” He asked, a lazy smirk on his face. 

“Yeah.” You confirmed, licking your lips.

He nodded delicately, trying not to punch his chin into your collarbone. “Next?” He called and you turned the page. 

A bluish bathroom. Maybe a spa room, it had a massage bed. But everything was blue. Entirely blue. Blue tiles, blue floor, blue carpet, blue supplies. Blue. everywhere. Soothing, calm. “So much blue.” He commented. 

“I think she’s going through primary colours. Yellow, reddish pink, blue. We’ll see what’s next.” You explained. 

Tae stared at the picture. “Do you like it?”

“I’m not sure.” You turned the page. Again, two smaller pictures at the center of each page. The first one was a closeup of the massage bed, with its plush blue cover and a small shelf of products and candles. The other picture contained another detail, a white, thick candle and its burning wick against the dark blue tiles. 

You nodded with a knowing huff. 

“Want me to turn?” You asked. 

Taehyung hummed in approval. 

Black. And white. And grey. This is the same setting as the title page: bedroom, silken, glimmering sheets. But now you could figure out the rest of the room. A plain bedroom, the headboard made by a sophisticated tangle of iron swirls and bars, the rest of the scene empty except for a big wardrobe and a drawer. The setting in time is completely anonymous, the black and white chromatism killing any light that could suggest day or night or twilight. 

“Turn.”

First detail: the silken sheets appearing through the iron bars at the foot of the bed. 

Second detail: some absolutely ordinary, if not cheap and old clothes abandoned on the wooden floor of the room. 

This is where it starts. 

Taehyung was growing impatient, his hand getting restless on your leg. He started drawing small circles with his short nails on your inner thigh. "So…" 

You stopped turning the page, leaving it perfectly standing, pinched between your fingers. 

He suddenly shut his mouth, as if he had decided not to speak, however his glance gave him off, his eyes stuck on the page you had just uncovered. 

He moved his hand from your belly, catching your wrist and making you turn the page fully. 

On the page on the left a dainty, lithe female body occupied most of the picture, picturing the torso and lower body, covered only slightly in a cute, gingham lingerie set with small embroidered cherries. It looked like coquettish demureness, the combination extremely girly and juvenile on the model’s barely-there curves. 

You turned to Taehyung as you felt his adam’s apple bob against your neck. He was staring at the picture on the other page, where a wooden honey dipper hovered over the girl’s lower abdomen, dripping the sticky, sweet liquid on her skin, her bent thigh hiding her crotch from the camera. “I like the angle. And the colours.” You commented.

He nodded simply. 

You observed the picture for one more second before letting your fingers reach for the corner of the page to turn. 

“Would you let me do that to you?” He growled, leaving a soft kiss on your neck. 

Let him cover you in honey? “Would you lick it away?” You asked, curious, trying as hard as possible to play it cool. Secretly you were self-combusting. 

“Duh. Of course.” He kissed you again. 

“Yes.” You replied, without even thinking about it for half a second.

The following page moved back to the club, all black and magenta. This time everything you could see was the silhouette of someone laying on their front, naked, on a flat surface. It was impossible to recognise a male or female anatomy. It made everything more interesting. On the page beside, the picture focused on the dip of their spine, showing a vague outline of the shoulder blades and the frilly tip of a feather barely grazing the skin, as if the person in the room with them was running the… tool? down his or her spine. 

“And you, would you let me do this to you?” You asked, curious, looking at him. 

His fingers clawed at your lower thigh, making you hiss at his vicious grip. “You want to torture me, sweetie?” He teased, parting your thighs. The cool air licked at your sweaty skin, raising goosebumps in its wake. “Want to make me furious? Get me mad?” His lazy, soft kisses turned into an aggressive nipping, his main intent that of making bruises bloom on your tender skin. 

“I want to see you wild.” You replied, still hoping to sound detached, even though at this point it was your own arousal rather than your sweat making your thighs clammy. “I’ve seen your stages. You roar.” You used your free hand to grab and knead his knee, but unfortunately he stopped you. 

“Hands on the book.” He reprimanded. “What about my stages?”

Flashbacks of his Singularity performances ran through your mind. “You’re sultry. Seductive. Predatory. And so aggressive.” You explained. “So sinful...”  You admitted.

“I know it drives you crazy.” He whispered, nuzzling into the underside of your ear. 

“Fucking insane.” You huffed out, leaning into him. 

He chuckled. “You’re so weak for me.” He mocked you. 

You wiggled a little in his hold, your backside brushing against his lap, a deep, vibratoed moan exiting his mouth. “You’re so weak for me.” You teased back. 

And then you squealed. He had just bitten your shoulder. “Turn the page, you menace.”

You did as you were told. This time it was a woman for sure laying on the massage bed, her body covered from chest to knee by a pale fluffy towel. Again, everything felt a bit too blue. You liked that she looked overall fuller, curvier than the previous models, the towel draping around her curved belly, her fleshy thighs. It wasn’t that strategically planned plumpness. It was genuine, showing both the traditionally attractive and the socially unaccepted parts of body fat. It wasn’t all tits and ass. It was arms, calves, belly. And it looked beautiful. Still, you couldn’t see her face.

“You like her?” Taehyung asked. 

You shrugged. “Her body's non-canonically beautiful. You can tell that she loves her body. I like that she didn’t let society kill her vibe, that she likes her body so much that she wanted to have this kind of pictures taken. I think she trusts the photographer a lot.” You shook your head. “I’m so dumb. All of them must have trusted the photographer a lot. I don’t know why a curvier person would be more insecure about her body than a slimmer person.”

“I think society kind of taught us that people who don’t adhere to a certain beauty standard should or actually do feel ashamed for it.” Taehyung mumbled. “I don’t see why a curvier girl should be ashamed. And curvy is not just the sexy curve. Curvy is fleshy, handfuls everywhere. I don’t really care. I just want flesh and fullness to grip while I’m fucking.” He continued mumbling with a slightly careless but also complaining tone. 

Suddenly the meaning of the hand coming around your middle, gripping the skin on your side and occasionally your love handles changed meaning. “So that’s what you were doing when you gripped me?” You asked. The first time he did it during one of your previous dates, you had felt wary, almost called-out by his action. 

“When?”

“The first time we kissed. And then some.” You blushed. “I thought you were pointing out that I’m fat.”

“You’re not fat. You’re beautiful and sexy and yeah, you’re soft, so what? You feel so good. And we all have body fat. You like eating. You eat regularly and healthily. You care for yourself and love yourself. You’re one of the most confident women I’ve ever seen.”

You dipped your head, trying to avoid spilling the tear almost rolling down your cheek. “Thank you.”

“And you make lingerie look like sin.” He added, turning your head and holding you tighter. “I grip you and grab you because you’re sexy and because I need to stop myself from doing dumb, ridiculous stuff. And you’re squishy. It calms down my nerves. It soothes me.” He kissed your cheek. “If you ever decided to lose weight I would support you, of course, but if it were for me, I wouldn’t want you any other way.” He kissed you again. “And look!” he pointed to the following photography. “She seems to like curvy girls too.” He pointed to the other female figure appearing in the picture, standing beside the bed, untucking the towel and revealing the top of the laying woman’s breasts. “I like that they have a same-sex couple. Do you think they’ll have two boys too?” He asked. 

“Are you interested?” You asked, no judgement or excitement in your voice, trying to silently communicate that he was safe whatever his reply would be. 

“I mean, you have two girls, why not two boys?” He said, raising one shoulder. “Plus, I’m not opposed to it.”

“Have you ever had a boy?” You asked, quite blatantly.

He tutted. “It was a quick thing. I prefer girls, I think. The female body is more attractive.” He confessed. “It has way more secrets. It’s more interesting to explore.” He pushed his hips against your backside. “I think that the moment I feel attraction and curiosity, I let myself experience it. I don’t limit myself to something as dumb as gender.”

You loved his eclectic, versatile tastes. He is experimental and seductive, a natural hedonist. 

“That sounds good for you.” You admitted. 

“Have you had girls?” He asked, curious. 

You smiled. “Yeah. I was in a relationship with a girl, in uni. A small thing.” You told him. “And yeah, they’re more interesting.”

“Right, you mentioned.” Taehyung remembered.

“I don’t wanna sound rude or pervy but… how was the sex? I mean, is it different, other than anatomically speaking?” He asked. 

You exhaled, thinking about it more accurately, trying to remember. “Every person is different. I never really had male lovers, but the few subs I had all  had something special and different — not that I had that many, that is.” You blushed. 

He nosed his way through your hair and against your nape. 

“It was more… conversational?” You tried finding the right word. “We gave each other a lot of constructive feedback.” You reminisced. “And fuck, I loved how responsive she was.” You scrunched your face. “I do miss fucking a girl every now and then. Wrecking a pretty girl gives me quite a boost of adrenaline and self esteem.” You admitted with a wild, embarrassed laugh. 

“I agree to that.” He laughed too, his diaphragm moving with a belly laugh that ricocheted from his stomach into your back. “I can’t wait to wreck you.” He spoke with a dirty, hot, gruff voice. 

You arched your neck, offering him the curve of your shoulder as you licked your lower lip. “Why aren’t you inside me already?”

The hand on your thigh, which had lost some pressure, climbed half an inch higher. “Because you couldn’t wait to see this book.” 

You shook your head in disagreement. 

“And because I’ll put my fingers inside you first.” He said aggressively. “And because I’m waiting. When I’m so desperate that I’ll wake up sweaty and horny in the middle of the night because I was dreaming of your dripping, sweet cunt on my face, then I’ll come fuck you until your entire body is nothing but a pretty toy trained for my pleasure.” His hand shifted from the harsh grip on your side to the devious, light, teasing fingertip tracing your puffy areola and erect nipple which were pushing against the satin of your nightgown. "I need to wake up so fucked out that I can conjure your taste in my mouth, that I can almost feel the wetness of you around my fingers. Your pretty, red lips around my cock.” 

You hummed at that, wanting nothing but the stretching feel of his blunt, long erection inside your mouth, warm and salty down your throat. “Fuck my mouth, Tae. Please.”

He snarled and snickered. “Not a chance, darling. Now, turn the page.” He felt dumb for turning you down, but he had plans. He needed to resist. Good boys go to heaven. 

Turn the page. The black and white felt soothing after all the coloured shots. “Oh.” 

Taehyung breathed out loudly. “Fuck.”

You were too fascinated by the picture to look at him. 

“Yes?” He asked. 

“Yeah.” You replied. 

“You’d let me?” He asked again. 

You nodded. “Would you? Let me, I mean...”

“You wanna tie me up?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. 

You momentarily put the book on your legs joining your pointer fingers together at the fingertip. “I have taken lessons, so...” You bit your lip, blushing.

He kissed your shoulder. “I can’t wait to try that. With you.” He gave you small bites this time, playful and caring. “And I’d be very happy if you taught me too.” His hand caressed your belly gently, the other one digging in the valley between your joined tights. 

“Thank you, baby.” You pressed your shoulders into his chest enjoying the solid feeling of his body supporting yours. 

“Anything for you.” He replied politely. “Now, can we move on?” He asked, trying to ignore the picture that had sparked the conversation, where a man wearing only boxers laid in bed, his wrists tied to the bedpost with a sturdy, rough rope. 

You nodded, picking up the book and turning the page. Back to the babygirl in the field. This time her lover had his mouth on her; the shot a closeup of his stubbly cheek and chin and his open mouth sucking at her inner thigh. In the matching picture his mouth was on her small breast, sucking her nipple over the fabric of her bra. You clenched your legs slightly, wiggling a little in your seat. 

It went maybe unnoticed. Maybe. Taehyung stopped breathing for a second, until you settled and he managed to gain his cool again. 

You managed to keep it cool with the second set, the dungeon, where the only thing really happening was for the feather to caress the submissive’s ass, in the picture on the left, only to be substituted by a furred glove on the following photograph. 

The third set had Taehyung gasping and moaning. You simply breathed out a small laugh. “Will you do this to me too?” You asked. 

“I’m gonna worship you head to toe, dove.” He grinned, observing the pictures. Both involved the standing woman massaging the laying one, with strong, oiled hands kneading the round globes of her ass and thighs, the soft and pale plants of her feet. 

“I love your hands.” You murmured, placing yours atop the one on your navel. 

He smirked. “Don’t you?” He twisted his wrist to intertwine your fingers. 

Nodding, you added: “They look so strong. And big.” You took a deep breath, daydreaming about the feel of them grabbing your breasts, your ass, your neck, pinning your wrists, moving inside you. Your brain had a special gallery dedicated exclusively to his hands. 

“I bet you can’t wait to have them inside you.” He teased, the hand on your thigh climbing a little closer to your heat. You were wondering how long it would take for him to find out about your little surprise for him. 

Let him live in innocence for now. 

“That, yes.” You admitted, not even playing coy. “And also I can’t wait to see them on yourself.” You provoked him, hoping that he would understand. 

“You want to see me touch myself?” He asked, his face absolutely impassive. 

“Yes.” You replied plainly. 

He laughed with a series of quiet exhales. “We’ll see.”

You turned a few pages, observing all the small details of the four different foreplay scenes. 

“Would you do it outdoors?” He asked at a certain point, his stare fixed on the coquettish blonde angel sucking off her partner at the picnic. 

You raised an eyebrow. “If the setting was right, yes. Though here in Seoul it's quite difficult.”

“We could visit my hometown. There are a lot of empty, remote fields over there.” He said, his arm holding you tight as he made both your bodies scoot back, away from the edge of the sofa.

“I would rather avoid you risking your career for a fuck out in the open air.” You commented pragmatically. 

“We’re only risking that if we get caught. And I’m sure we’re smart enough.” He tried to convince you. 

“What about insects? Bugs? Safety?” You asked, concerned. 

“We’ll think about it in detail if we ever decide to walk down this path, yeah?” He suggested respectfully. 

You pouted, nodding in agreement. 

“Holy shit, look at this.” You commented, quite shocked. In the dungeon, the dom was sprinkling glitters on the backside of his submissive, which you had discovered being — much to Taehyung’s chagrin — also a man.

“I want that. Oh my God, they're gonna get all over the place.” He replied, frowning at the thought. “You can go through major catastrophes and those bitches would still colonize every nook and cranny of your body.” His brow creased. “But fuck it looks amazing.” Especially since in the second picture the dom was using a leather glove to spank his sub, making all the glitter disperse into the air at the impact, creating a purplish halo around the silhouette of the spankee.

“I’m gonna spank you.” He said, out of the blue. “I hope you’re okay with that.”

Yes, sir, Your slutty brain replied. “We’ll see,” you said out loud. 

Ha laughed dryly. "You'll want me to. It's only a matter of time."

You turned around, smirking at him. You tipped his chin back with a finger, kissing him with a cruel tenderness. His eyes closed, initially surprised, but then he became more than eager to deepen the kiss. Still you drew back, while his mouth tried to chase after yours. 

"No." You whispered. 

"Are you telling me no?" He asked gruffly. "Mh?" The hand between your thighs had kept rising and by now his palm laid on the junction between your hip and thigh, his index tracing your mound. "Is it a no?" 

You moaned lasciviously. Was he going to discover your surprise for him? 

He finally reached your sex, expecting to meet a wet patch on your underwear. "____. Where are your panties?" He murmured in your ear. 

You bit your lip. "Not wearing any." You murmured gently. 

"Say it again." He growled. 

"I'm not wearing panties, Tae." You mewled tauntingly. 

He moved his hand from your navel to your breast, the other one cupping your crotch. 

"Naughty girl." He snarled. "Bad, bad girl." His mouth latched at your neck while his hands pushed you further into him, his erection pressing against the small of your back. 

"I want you." You whined. "So bad, Tae. Please." 

"You're wet for me?" He said, his mouth parting from your skin long enough to interrogate you, only to continue to lick you as soon as he was done talking. 

"I'm drenched. I want you. Make me cum, Tae, please."

His chest shook with an evil laugh. "You told me no earlier." He replied. 

"I made a mistake. I only wanted to tease you." You cried out, your free hand trying to reach for his between your legs. 

"Hands on the book, bad kitty." He said, nibbling your earlobe.

You obeyed with some quiet complaining. 

"Why would you tease me?" He asked

"I wanted you to want me." You confessed. "I wanted you to stop resisting me."

"I'm not gonna fuck you." He repeated. "But nothing is stopping me from making you cum with my fingers." He kissed your temple. "Are you okay with that?" 

You nodded. "Just make me cum, Tae." 

He snickered. "Then keep your hands on the book. Keep watching your kinky pictures. Let's see what makes you even wetter."

You whimpered as his long fingers moved against your folds, and you parted your legs further to grant him better access. 

On the following page, the women had moved from a tantric massage to a steamy, slow session of waxplay. The receiving partner was now laying on her back, her breasts exposed for her lover, her skin glistening with oil as the other woman let a droplet fall on her unmarred skin, however you could tell it wasn't the first drop from a stain barely visible in the corner of the picture, out of focus. 

Taehyung interrupted your musings with a twitch of his fingers, while he spoke directly in your ear. "What about waxplay, darling? Would you like to try that?" 

You exhaled at the movement, your head falling forward as the muscles on your neck went slack. 

"Your body would be a work of art, covered in coconut oil, sweat, droplets of wax and my cum."

You felt your soul leave your body. From your seated position your inner organs were positioned so that his fingers perfectly reached your g-spot. "Fuck, Tae, you're fucking perfect."

He kissed the corner of your mouth, the hand on your chest toying with the hem of your nightie until he slipped the strap off your shoulder and uncovered your naked breast. "Oh, you like it." He bent some more trying to reach for your mouth. He thought about using one hand to turn your face but he was content with where they were at the moment. 

The black and white bondage scene turned into a submission exercise, the woman standing on her knees over the face of the laying man, using a vibrator to pleasure herself. 

And he simply laid there, mouth open, waiting. You almost turned when Taehyung stopped you. "I'd love to try that." His voice was slightly strained, probably from the strange angle he was in. Both his arms were busy and working from a difficult position. Not that you noticed. 

Ever since he had started touching you, you had been in a haze, your head feeling extremely light and floaty. 

"Anything you want." You replied before your voice broke in a mewl. "I'm close." You were, already, and incredibly so. All you needed was for him to keep talking. "I wanna hear your voice."

"What do you want to hear, Lace? How soft your cunt feels on my fingers? It feels like fucking velvet, darling. Do you want to know how much I wanna eat you?" He moved closer to your ear. “I wanna hear you scream for me, Lace. I want you to be so loud that everyone will know you’re having the best orgasm of your life.” He bit your earlobe. “I’m gonna make you cum so many times you lose count. I’m gonna make you regret teasing me. I’m gonna make you cry in every best way possible.” His fingers moved faster between your legs, his thumb meeting your clit. “I’m gonna fuck you so much you’re gonna hate yourself for complaining I haven’t fucked you yet.”

His dirty words got to your head like liquor, your hips undulating to find the final stimulus you needed to come apart. You felt your backbone roll dangerously and in a few seconds you snapped forward, his forearm on your chest keeping you upright through your climax. “That’s it, Lace. Ride my fingers.” He commanded and you complied, like the needy, desperate animal you are for him. Only for him. 

Never in your life had you experienced the need to bend over backwards for anyone, least of all a man; yet, here you were, pliant like putty in his hands, feeling submissive for the first time of your life. “Taehyung.” You whispered, too lost to realise it was barely hearable. Still, he noticed, slowing down his movements. 

“Are you okay, dove?” He checked on you, his voice warm and caring. 

You shook your head yes. “I need a second.” You said through heavy breath.

He moved away the hand on your breast, bringing it to your cheek, making you ease back against him and cradling your body gently. “It was beautiful, Lace. Beautiful. I can’t wait to see you do that again.” He murmured, comforting you and praising you. 

You giggled cutely in reply, turning toward his face and puckering your lips. 

He read your cue and pressed his lips to yours chastely. “Need some water, dove?” He asked. 

You nodded and for a second he thought how he could possibly grab the closest glass with both his hands busy. Noticing that, you caught his dirty hand and brought it to your face.

“Lace.” He groaned as you observed the slick coating his fingers. 

“Tae.” You groaned right back at him, turning to give him a nice view before you put his fingers in your mouth, sucking lewdly. 

His hips rolled below you, his eyes fighting to stay open while his forehead met your temple, jaw hanging low in a silent invitation to slide your tongue in his mouth. What you did, your devious will overpowering you, was to free his digits and part them in a V against your lips and chin, lashing your tongue out in the valley between his middle and ring finger to make out with him. 

The sound he emitted was something so dirty and lewd that you found yourself turned on again, ready to slip his hand between your thighs once more.

“I cannot fuck you tonight.” He reminded himself once he parted from your tongue — and his hand. 

“I still don’t see why.” You teased, always the temptress in a wild attempt to lure him into your bed. 

“I need to take my time.” He gave himself the whole talk. “I need to learn you, your language, your tells and cues. Let’s run the bases and then I’ll take it home. Let’s enjoy every little step that takes us there.” He explained, giving you his whole vision. 

You nodded. This is what he wanted. To make every single milestone meaningful, important, unique. “You should have said.” You caressed his face. “I wouldn’t have been so bratty, had I know of that.” You kissed his cheekbone. 

“It’s cool.” He breathed out, eyes shut, teeth gritted. 

“Are you okay?” You asked, fondling him some more.

“I’m just… dealing with something.” He replied, stressed, pressing his hips against your. 

And you felt him. He must have been pretty big. 

“Would you let me take care of you?” You questioned tentatively.

He shook his head. Then waited a few second. “Would it be okay if I grind against you?”

You raised your eyebrows, only to grin madly after it. “Yeah. Whatever works for you, love. Touch yourself, grind, I don’t care, just… let me be there for you.” You comforted him. 

“Water first.” He said, using his clean hand to reach for the glass, mourning the departure from your chest for a quick second. As soon as he brought the glass to your lips, you took it from his grasp and placed his palm back to your chest, taking a small sip and and offering him some. He stretched over your shoulder and you helped him drink, tipping the glass carefully to avoid him choking or spilling. As soon as he was done you moved the glass back to the small table, grabbing the book in the process. 

“Okay, back to where we left.” His hand covered in a dried up mixture of your and his spit laid on your navel, hiking up your nightie. The other was cementified to your naked breast, toying with your nipple. 

On the pages there was an escalation of foreplay, the American sweethearts moving on to her offering him a blowjob.

“You okay with that?” You asked Taehyung, refusing to assume that all men love blowjobs. 

“I think so, yeah. I hope in the near future I’ll be able to feed you my cock multiples time a day, sweetie.” He indulged in your kink, still shocked by your earlier request to suck him off. 

You had to stop yourself from asking him to feed you now. He had asked for one step at a time. You owed him that. “All you need to do is ask, Tae.” You simply reminded him. 

“Can’t wait to see you on your knees for me.” He mumbled, his hips thrusting up against you.

“What about spanking tools?” He asked as you turned the page, amazed by the riding crop that the dom was sporting. 

“I’ve used them in the past, but I’ve never had them used on me.” You confessed. “I tested them on myself first before using them on someone, obviously, but I was never… I’ve never been truly dominated by someone else, so—”

He moaned and caressed your neck with the tip of his nose. “That’s okay. We don’t have to...”

You shook your head. “I want to, though. Just— easy. As you said, one step at a time.”

He ohed at that, nipping at your jutting collarbone. 

You went through some more pages, discussing details, objects, feelings. 

Of course your fascination with the dungeon scene grew when Taehyung cupped your pubis once more as a flogger appeared in the picture. “I’m close, I just wanna feel your wetness.” He explained. “I’d love to use that—” He indicated the flogger with a gesture of his chin “—to tease you. Drag its soft tips from your toes to your breasts, flick it innocently over your sensitive nipples. Draw lazy circles on your belly. Watch you lick, suck and hump the handle.”

You awed at that. Most importantly you awed at how he was pressing his hard on against your asscheeks through his trousers and your nightie. 

“I’m close.” After ten minutes of being on the very edge of it, he gave up and brought his hand to his crotch, just adding more pressure. You felt somehow disappointed that you wouldn’t feel him on you anymore. 

The next page was his undoing. In the bedroom scene, the man was still bound, propped up against the pillows, wide eyed, imploring. On the right page you discovered why: the woman was showing him her backside, on her knees, chest to the mattress, fucking herself with a huge dildo. “Fuck” he growled. “Lace, would you?” He asked, needing you to talk, to give him a scenario. 

“Yes, I would. I would do it like that but I would also do it with your cock in my mouth, the dildo making me so relaxed that I could easily deepthroat the monster you’re hiding in your pants, mister.” You teased. 

He smiled like the devil, barely holding in a snicker. “Fuck that, Lace, you just want my cock in your mouth, don’t you?” He mocked. 

“I’ve never been so hungry for a cock, Taehyung. I just want to see you fucked out.” You had never felt so dirty and sexy in your life. You were fighting with your teeth and claws for him. There were so many people out there willing to do anything to get him. Might as well set the bar up high and offer him more than anyone else would ever dare to. 

He whimpered, his forehead pressed to your nape. 

You turned, grabbing his chin, making him look at you. “Let me see that bliss, Tae. Show me your pretty face when you cum for me.” You spurred him on gently. “Give me your best look. Come on, I wanna save that for the next time I fuck myself with my toy. Please.”

And he crumbled, holding your gaze, precipitating into oblivion. His mouth hung open, releasing a deep cry while his chest fell into your shoulders, pressing into you. He couldn’t care less about cumming in his pants, or messing up his trousers, in that moment he was only looking for a way to let his soul slither under your skin and tangle with yours. He wanted closeness and warmth and to leave his body and feel light. 

When you saw his eyelids tremble, you tutted repeatedly, calling for his attention. “Keep looking at me, baby bear.”

He whined at the nickname, fighting the postorgasmic haze threatening to drag him under. 

You fumbled with your hold of the book, freeing a hand to caress his wavy hair. “That’s it, baby.” You murmured, finally allowing him to let go of the snippet of control he had left over his body. “Are you okay, Tae?”

He nodded and inhaled against your neck, his mouth opening and laving your skin with heavy, wide and wet licks. He still had his hand between your legs and it looked like he was very happy with it.

"Are you happy, baby?" You asked him, combing his hair back. 

He simply offered you an elated smile, nodding and nuzzling into you. 

"You look so pretty when you cum, Tae. And so damn sexy." You praised him, being absolutely straightforward about your thoughts. 

"I feel so good, ____." He said, his expression completely blissful. 

"Do you want to keep leafing through the book?" You asked, still completely focused on him. 

He scratched his cheek and nodded, even though he barely hid a yawn. 

After making sure that he really wanted to keep going, you took hold of the book again. The couples in the pictures moved on from foreplay to actual intercourse, simply showing the closeness of body parts, but never including genitals in the photographs. It was only possible to identify which belonged to whom because of the light and setting. You appreciated the so-to-say gender neutrality of the shots.

"It's interesting how all the couples feel the same. The positions are slightly different but still there's always the same closeness, intensity, passion and intimacy." He noticed. 

You agreed. 

"It feels like they're together not just as in doing stuff together but actually exist together. They're one." He said, running his finger along the same possessive pose of the arm — snaking around the lovers back and keeping them close — which was featured on four different pictures put together, side by side, from each of the couples. 

And finally it was the open mouths, the hard grips, the arched backs of an orgasm. 

"It's so… Natural. The way we feel pleasure." He murmured, his heavy breathing and the movement of his lips teasing the sensitive spot behind your ear. "I mean, I know that there are some people who don't like sex. Or who don't perceive it as a necessity. And that's natural too." He thought about it some more. "But this feels like a universal language. Like music. You can read it in its little signs." 

You were growing impatient again. The book was almost over, only a few pages left. What happens now? Does he want to leave? Is he going to stay? 

You hesitated before turning the page, but he spurred you on. 

This was aftercare. While the other photographs looked like they were made for the observers' aesthetic pleasure, this looked like invading the models' privacy. 

"I feel uncomfortable." You spoke gently. 

Taehyung worried. "Is it… Do you need space?" He asked, realising that you've been sitting for almost an hour in a very uncomfortable position. He started unraveling his hold on you but you stopped him, blocking his hand between your legs with the muscles of your thighs and blocking his other arm by catching his wrist. "I was talking about the pictures. It feels like I'm seeing something that I'm not supposed to see."

"Yup." He agreed. "But I like the one in the field. The one with the sweethearts." The sun had almost completely set behind the trees and the boy and girl were sitting exhausted in the backseat, her body perched on top of him, his head resting on her breast. "I would stay inside too." Taehyung said. "It's so warm. Intimate. And when you're tired and vulnerable it's so good to feel that emotionally together with someone. To stay sheathed inside." He mused. 

You felt his fingers twitch almost imperceptibly on your folds. A wave of wetness oozed out. 

"Oh, you're ready for another, doll?" He grinned, brushing against you more pressingly. 

"Tae." You cried out. 

"Yes, Lace?" 

"Let me suck you." You said with a more imposing voice than before. 

He made you turn your head and look him in the eye. 

"You want that so bad?" He asked mischievously. "I guess you won't have any problem saying it again as you look me in eyes if you're truly so desperate for my dick."

You shook your head briefly. "Please Tae, let me suck your dick. If you don't give that to me I swear I'll go down the street and suck it to the first attractive man I see." You said, growing impatient both to his denying and his teasing. 

"How can I say no to that?" He grinned sardonically. "Plus it would be dumb of me to put you at risk, wandering through the streets at this hour of the night wearing that skimpy mess of a nightgown." He parted your hair and moved it to the side, removing the locks that had stuck to your neck because of your sweat and his saliva. "And no panties.” His hand squished your breast aggressively. “You're driving me crazy with all this lace, baby.” He took a small pause, like he was thinking. “Come on, you want my cock in your mouth? Get in position and be ready to take it." He directed you harshly. 

You put away the book, only the acknowledgements page left unread, and jumped to your feet, much to his chagrin, kneeling on the floor with the speed of a lightning. 

“God, you sure are hungry for my dick, uh?” He kept getting cockier and cockier. 

You probably should have played it cool, but you were too into it to fake aloofness. “Undo your trousers, Tae, please.”

He smirked, his eyelids lowered to look at you on the floor. He looked like a sex god, the kind of god that teaches unspeakable, sinful things. 

His hands moved slowly and deliberately, so that you had the time to spot a wet patch of fabric where his tip was located. As soon as he undid his belt, you threw your hands at his button, but he stopped you. 

“You don’t want me to block your hands, do you?” He warned you. 

You raised an eyebrow as if doubting his words. 

“I know basic knots, doll. Don’t test me.” He growled. 

You pouted and looked at the floor. 

He tutted. “Have I offended you, doll?” He questioned. 

You rocked your head in a way that meant “so and so”. 

He shook his head. “I’m so strict with you. I’m sorry, Lace.” He took a moment, thinking about how to make it up to you. “Would you be happy again if I asked you to pick a toy to play with while I use your mouth, doll?”

Your mouth opened slightly in surprise as you processed his request. You looked up at him. His zipper was undone, his cock partly out, his hand slowly, heavily petting it. 

“Is this what you wanted to see, doll?” He threw his head back, licking his lips and giving you quite the show. “Go pick your toy, nymph.”

You sucked your lips in, indecisive between staying and not losing one second of this view or going to get something to relieve yourself.

“Go quick, doll.” He ordered. 

Staying with your eyes fixed on him, you stood up and walked backwards to your room, running as soon as he got out of your sight. You quickly fished your favourite dildo from your bedside table, rushing back to the sofa. 

“Here already? You chose quickly, doll. Are you sure you chose wisely?” He questioned, his voice caving when his hand reached the tip and circled it slowly but energetically.

“Yes, Taehyung.” You said, showing him your candidate, turning it so he could analyse it. 

“It’s a very nice toy.” He commented, “It looks squishy.”

“It’s a special silicone.” You explained. “It was expensive but it feels amazing. And it’s safe, most importantly. No silly, cheap rubber.”

“Excellent, sweetie. Come kneel, doll.” He invited you and you complied obediently. “Such a good girl.” He praised you. “Look at you, all pretty, diligent, cute and wide-eyed. Who would guess that you’re the filthiest nymph ever?” He sat on the edge of the pillow, spreading his legs as far as his trousers allowed.

“May I roll them down?” You asked, leaving the toy stranding on its base on the floor while he nodded, your hands tried to push his linen trousers to his calves and ankles. 

“I want you to put the toy inside, doll.” He growled. 

You looked at him with an endearing expression. “Will you make it wet for me?”

“Want me to spit on it, doll?” He asked and you nodded neutrally. 

He started collecting some saliva in his mouth before ducking to collect the accessory and rolling his tongue out, letting the liquid spread over the thick head. 

“The base is important.” You tipped him, “it’s were I need it to be more slippery, since it’s thicker.”

“Okay, dove.” He said, his lips puckering dragging a thick coat of wetness all around the base. 

It looked very erotic. Especially with his other hand stroking his shaft

What looked even more erotic was to see him stare at you before sliding his face up, all the way to the tip, his mouth opening and swallowing two thirds of the impressive length. His hand became faster on his hard-on.

“Holy shit, Tae, I— ” Words lost sound and meaning when you saw him bob his head on the toy, closing his eyes and moaning. He played with it for a minute or so before slipping it out of his lips, offering it to your chin. 

There is a saying. No sub is truly trained unless they kiss whatever their dom puts before their lips. 

And you kissed it. 

He grinned with lust-fevered eyes. “Put it in, Lace.”

You took a second, staring at him. Your hands naturally reached the hem of your nightie and dragged it up and away.

“Fuck, doll. Look at those tits, you’re delicious, babe.” He praised you, and you beamed up at him, retrieving your toy and bringing it between your thighs, the tip already at your entrance.

“In, Lace.”

Once more you obeyed.

A moan escaped your throat and echoed from his own lips. He had moaned himself. 

“Shit, all the way in nymph. All the way.” He said, replicating your pace on his cock. 

When you bottomed out, he gripped his base, slipping his hand down to his balls and squeezing them delicately. With his eyes closed, head thrown back, he rumbled: “leave it there. Don’t move. If you can make me cum before you do, I’ll stay the night. But remember I won’t be fucking you.” He regained his controlled demeanour, staring at you, voice empathetic. “It’s up to you. I’ll still go if you want me to. Just know that there’s a way, if you want to make me stay.”

Distracting yourself from the filling sensation, you dragged yourself back to reality, making the best of the moment. As his hand gripped his base, you leaned in and licked the head with the tip of your tongue. 

His rumble sounded like an earthquake. “Do what you want to, doll. Remember our game.”

Grinning, you opened your mouth and took him in as far as he would go. 

You took maybe one third of him. 

God, he was so big, his skin glistening, his veins pulsating so fascinatingly just under the surface. 

He caressed your face and hummed. "Beautiful." 

You took two more inches, eyes watering, lungs burning, but oh so determined to take all of him. 

Backing up a little, you released some of his length to focus on the tip, twirling your tongue around it as you regained your breathing. 

When you felt ready, you sinked again, adding one inch to your previous goal. 

"Fuck, so tight, doll, you're a crime." His hips jutted forward and you opened your eyes wide, a little surprised by the motion. A single teardrop spilled, not due to discomfort but only to his shaft hitting the back of your throat. 

"You okay, doll?" He checked in on you as soon as he felt the droplet hit his thumb. His hand gently tangled in your hair and pushed you back delicately, trying to free your mouth. You whined as his tip slipped out of you with a pop, even though you had tried to suck on him to keep your hold.

"Listen carefully, _____. I need to fuck your mouth, nymph." He said, panting, trying to control himself. "Can I put my hands in your hair? Is it okay if I stroke in?" He asked, worried.

You just nodded. "I want that, Tae. Just use me." You pleaded, caressing his erection, placing small kisses on the thick underside. 

"Good. I just thought it was good to warn you. And make sure that you like that, doll." He combed your hair. "Now let's get it, sweetheart."

He showed no mercy. The moment you sucked his tip past your lips, he started pushing in with short, quick jabs. However, when he saw you getting more and more of him inside, he lost all semblance of control. 

In the meanwhile you had lost any sensation apart from those coming from your mouth, almost forgetting the toy inside you, of which you were reminded the moment he started thrusting so hard that your whole body began to roll back and forth. 

He groaned before murmuring deeply, "I'm gonna cum." At that he zoned out, going completely silent, his thrusts getting sloppy before he spilled into you with a long, raspy hum.

You welcomed his taste in your mouth, as he fussed, whimpering ‘don't swallow’. His first spurt was already down your throat but you focused on the second, the third, the last one a weak series of drops. He stayed still a few second and you admired his form: lush ringlets of hair sticking to his forehead, head tipped back as he filled his lungs hungrily before huffing out, his breathing pattern quick and heavy. His lashes fluttered and his brows knitted together every few second as he tried to get a grip on himself. He licked his lips, which had grown too dry with all the panting, his eyes finally opening and focusing on you. 

You slowly pulled him out of your mouth. 

"Lemme see." He growled. 

You knew what he meant. 

"Such a little nymph." He praised you, and you felt your inner walls flutter at that, moving the toy inside you. 

"Do you want to swallow it? Drink me?" He asked with a condescending tone. 

You nodded, trying not to spill his release from your tongue. 

"Do it." 

Eagerly, you did, the gulping sound almost too loud in the quiet room. 

"Show me." He said, just as you parted your lips to do just that, assuring him that not a drop had gone to waste. 

"Come here, doll. Keep the toy inside.” He grumbled, lowering himself to put on his boxers, coming close to you and kissing the top of your hair in the process.

Biting your lip, you stood up, quickly propping one knee on the sofa and straddling him, one hand gripping the base of the dildo. 

“Tae.” You whispered. 

He kissed your lips delicately, simply pressing his lips to yours. “Want me to do it?” He asked. 

You nodded. 

He caught your hand on your crotch and substituted it with his, the other one grabbing your ass. “Can I move?”

You nodded, “I just need hard and fast, please.”

Taehyung grinned, kissing your forehead as you lowered your head, looking at his veiny forearm starting to pump the toy inside. “Is it good like this—”

“Faster!” You exclaimed, your hand tugging at the hair of his nape. 

In response he placed his lips on your cheek, nibbling at your soft skin. He hammered the toy inside you, teasing you on how nasty, kinky and absolutely divine you were, how incredible you looked, how much he wanted you to cum, how he was going to destroy you the moment he’d get to be inside you. 

You felt on the very edge of pleasure, the sensation so disturbing since you felt like something was missing. 

“Tae?” You asked with a whiny voice. 

He slowed down, trying to let you focus on talking“What is it, doll?” He huffed gently.

“I need to touch myself.” You said with a pout. 

He nodded and bent to your mouth. “It’s okay, sweetie. I’ve got you.”

He kept his pattern slow, trying to adapt it to your fingers on your clit. He synced up so nicely that you managed to rub yourself for maybe a minute before the tip of the toy reached the perfect depth, making you come apart in Taehyung’s hold. 

“That’s lovely, doll. Lovely.” He whispered in your ear, speaking sweet nothings that you couldn’t quite register from your fucked out state. 

After a couple minutes you managed to go back to reality. “Are you okay, Tae?” You asked. 

“I should be asking that. You moaned your lungs out, doll.” He kissed your lips, bringing your wrist up from your mound to his mouth, smearing his lower lip with your wetness before licking it sinfully. 

“Kim Taehyung.” You said in warning and exasperation. 

He looked at you wide eyed, playing innocent. “I believe you earned me as your sleeping buddy tonight.” He joked. 

“Indeed.” You said, wincing a little as he extracted the dildo. 

“Are you sure it’s okay, you’re okay?” He asked. 

You simply nodded. “Let’s just head to bed. It’s four thirty. I’ve got work tomorrow morning.” You explained. 

“Can we have have breakfast or will you have to rush out?” He asked, already in tiger cub mode. 

Your body deflated in desperation over your lost sleep but you smiled gladly when you looked up at him. “I’ll be happy to wake up early and have breakfast.”

Cleaning up was a bit messy, especially finding sleeping clothes for Taehyung, still you managed to hit the bed at five am, Taehyung managing to stay in his lane for maybe five minutes before cuddling up against you and falling asleep like a toddler. 

Of course your head tried to process how you felt about the whole event, but your exhausted body and his gentle embrace cradled you to sleep. 

[haleyjames]

Sierra has opened another town rp called phoenixrpg.

She has posted on the main, admitting that it’s her. Since then, she’s posted other asks about her time as admin/owner of wilmingtonroleplay. I’m making this post to talk about what she’s answered, and to warn people away from her manipulation tactics. I’m throwing this under a read more because there’s screenshots/it’s a little long lmao.

This was the first ask she answered about her “handling” of the group:

I’ve underlined what I first want to address. Allowing fc switches and poor diversity were the LEAST of what she did in Wilmington. What about all the  people she bullied? Her outright racism? Excluding others? Manipulating and gaslighting people? Getting all her minions to do her dirty work and send ppl anon hate? Facilitating and protecting catfishers? Admitting to the two things she does in this post is tactical. It’s admitting to SOME wrongdoing, but only things that barely even skim the surface of her behaviour. She’s taking ownership ONLY for the bare minimum to make it seem like she IS taking accountability for her overall actions and IS open to actually talking and addressing things. By this piss-poor answer, that’s not the case. She has A LOT more to answer for than this--as an admin AND as a person. 

The answer to the next ask is somehow even worse.

I had to highlight a huge chunk of it lmao. The anonymous person uses the word ABUSE in their message, and Sierra is still going on about other bullshit? The lesser stuff. Is racism “failed diversity?” Is that what we’re calling it? It wasn’t about how Sierra “handled situations”--it was about her bullying people, her gaslighting and manipulating people. Yeah, sure, that tied into her work as an admin, but?? What is this small list of her lesser crimes? “...as far as Wilmington was concerned, those were my downfalls with modding.” Yeah. That’s not the question the person posed to you. And maybe those were your failures as an admin on the technical side of things, but wow... this is NOTHING in comparison to everything she really did and how she really treated people.

“I... will always be very upfront and honest about what’s going down.” If the answer to this ask and the one before it are any indication, SHE WON’T. This is so very much DOWNPLAYED, it’s disgusting. Taking the slightest accountability for the smallest of things she did... and I mean, is it really? Is there any apology here? No. There’s some admittance, and then “no one’s word is gospel and time will tell”. Time has already told us what we need to know. Wilmington was open for how long? How long have I been doing this? How many pages do I have on my page that are filled with people’s experience with her and Emma and Kelly and Wilmington and what they’ve done?

It really astounds me that this is how she answered an ask that point-blank calls her behaviour abusive and unsafe. I don’t know why I’m surprised by now. But, anyway. If she wants to address these small things, let’s do it.

“Face switches that didn’t match up.” When literally four months ago you joined a group called charmingrp with an Inbar Lavi FC and then changed it to a Michelle Veintimilla FC without any sort of bio/name changes. 

“Failed avenues of diversity.” Also recently, when you continually showed how fucking racist you are.

“I have and always will be very upfront and honest about what’s going down.” Oh, like when you deleted Wilmington and hid for a few months until my blog got flagged and then suddenly reappeared in the rpc? Without addressing the racist or abusive behaviour at all that made you finally delete your group? Sure. 

Literally nothing has changed, if you ask me. Next message further proves this:

I didn’t highlight anything because it’s all BULLSHIT. Given your history with uh, what did you call it? “Failed avenues of diversity”--or the fact that Wilmington FINALLY closed after so long because you and Emma were finally called out on your racism--you’d think you would actually put in some EFFORT and try and show the world that you’re not. But you are. This stance is so incredibly lazy and irresponsible, and then with the added context of everything else that’s happened in the past? It only makes it even worse! Like!!!!!!! You talk about your failures as an admin in previous posts and then this is your answer?? This is so cheap and YUCK. What are you even doing as an admin then, huh??

This diversity rule she pulled out of her ass in the answer to the message isn’t even in the rules on the main??? There’s nothing about it AT ALL. See here:

Beth said it best, if I do say so:

Sierra is playing a Christina Milian OC and a Casey Deidrick OC. (NOTE: This is who Beth is referring to when she says ‘cooler hands’. The original ‘cooler hands’ is in reference to Sierra’s Chris Wood OC in Wilmington.) Christina is Cuban. The character’s name is DANIELLE TYLER, which is probably the whitest name I’ve ever seen before. I asked Beth about this (who is Cuban) and this is what she had to say:

Which, given everything, is the most reasonable and most unsurprising explanation. Again: it’s lazy and is just more proof of her being racist. 

I mean, GOD ashfjdlfl. This was after only THREE MESSAGES posted. Like. I don’t know what else to tell you. Things aren’t ever going to change. Already you can tell they haven’t. I really really caution people on staying away from this group, and this group of people. I’m sure there’ll be more to say as more gets posted and the group gets more exposure from the tags, but for now, this is all I’ve got. Sigh. Please stay safe out there everybody!!!! 

[gigilefache]

So this au. I said I was gonna post some of the updated story stuff for it so I'll just do that.

So this au is based around the concept of Kirby's species being of a powerful, other worldly, angelic origin.

This au is also mostly a backstory au, so there is no big change to the canon settings, rather a backstory setting. This setting being the realm of "The Aether." The puff home dimension. 

The dimension is a paradise area. It is inhabited by only puffs. The main central area of the Aether is a towering star shaped plateau, encompassing forests with a wide variety of nature, bodies of starry/galactic water, snowy mountains, and artificial towers made of unknown materials. Outside of the main plateau are floating isles and other large pillars reaching up to the high heavens, but they're just there to look cool. At the center of the plateau is an even taller tower, reaching so high it barley pierces the barrier of the dimension, and all other dimensions can be seen from there. The tower is known as the Skyview Tower, and it's peak is called "the Peak of Yonder Otherworlds." This peak is also rests a mirror. Using the purest forms of the four elements on this mirror can summon the Mother Orb. But she's mean, so like, don't.

There are four levels to The Aether, and each one is mainly inhabited by a different type of puff.

The bottom level is the Silent Outskirts. It's incredibly dark, due to the sky being blocked by storm clouds. Despite it's darkness however, it is home to a lot of bio-luminescent plants and crystals. There is a lot of interdimensional trash here too, stuff that accidentally pours in from other dimensions like candy wrappers, shattered mirrors, rammen packs, stuffed animals, and the occasional corpse.

The level above that is the Titanous Terrain. This level is located on the part of the plateau just above the storm clouds. It is inhabited by soul puffs, and makes up a majority of the realm’s natural beauty.

Above that is Angelic Area where the heart puffs reside. And it's all in the clouds. The only solid ground being floating platforms and high reaching pillars. It's very peaceful. Many aspects of this area are actually mechanical though, specifically the floating isles.

The level above that is the River of Heavens. A twilight sky area inhabited by dream puffs. There are many constellations here, as well as edible star fragments. The river has a fountain of dreams vibe to it, complete with bio-luminescent artifacts like in Silent Outskirts.

The last setting is within Skyview Tower. It appears very tall and monstrous, but it's actually pretty cozy, and each floor is different. The first few floors have gardens, pantries, bedrooms, and even an observatory. Once you climb the floors though it gets more eerie. There are stained glass windows in empty rooms, galleries with moving paintings, prophetic tapestries, mechanical floors that make lots of noises, and a big bedroom/playroom that is really dusty with a creepy music box vibe going on. There's also a couple rest areas.

There are four categories of puffs, each being based on the elements of dark, dream, heart, and soul. However, the characters Kirby, Void Termina, Meta knight, Galacta Knight, Morpho Knight, and the Mother Orb (character specific to this au) are in none of these aforementioned categories because they are culmination of all four elements.

There different types of puff and their defining traits are as follows:

Dark: dark/shadow colors. Have glowing eyes and cheek blushes. Can have glowing horns or antennae. They have mouth eyes that glow in the dark.

Dream: colors you would see in a twilight sky or sunset. Have glowing features like horns or antennae, but they can also have glittery wings or fins. They have star shaped cheek patterns. sometimes they're even cats.

Heart: very small. These puffs don't have glowing features, but they can fly. They are pastel in appearance, and have heart shaped cheek patterns. They are also cuddly.

Soul: see copy abilities. Yeah that's them. Except they are just a bit goopy, like fresh paint.

All encompassing (chaos): Kirby and Void are both all encompassing, as well as the Mother Orb, which created all of the puffs. Defining features are hunger and bastard tendencies.

There are also light puffs and glass/mirror puffs. Both are found inside of Skyview Tower. The mirror puffs act like guards, while light puffs are mostly servants/messengers.  

The Mother Orb, also named Twinkle Popo ,is the creator of all puffs except for Meta Knight, Galacta Knight, and Morpho Knight. She appears as a big bright Kirby with a tiny face, rainbow markings that extend from her cheeks and throughout her body like veins, wings like the SA sparkler or the dragoon, and a halo. However she is actually the entire dimension, in that every part of the realm is connected to the Mother orb. The mother orb created all puffs, but Void was created using her direct essence. So void is essentially her son.

Because Void was stolen by the ancients, the Mother Orb got really pissy, so whenever they tried to come back for more stuff she "confronted" them. After Void was sealed, she cried for ten thousand years. Eventually her tears turned into Kirby, another direct descendent.

The Mother Orb was a lot more controlling of Kirby, and kept them locked up in the tower for a little bit. After a while Kirby just kind of decided "fuck this" and left the dimension entirely.

The Mother Orb also doesn't speak. She's just bass boosted Kirby. She loud.

Meta Knight, and by extension the other orbular star warriors, were genetically made to be the strongest warriors. Meta knight the only one made with all encompassing matter, while the others like Sir Arthur, Percival, Galahad, and Lancelot are each made of a specific type of matter.

Galacta Knight was made to essentially be an avatar of all matters, so they are also lab grown. They were made to specifically take care of void. And by take care I mean kill. But after they did that Galacta got put in the timeout crystal.

Morpho Knight was created by Necrodeus with all encompassing matter, and is actually more powerful than him. But because he's a little bitch baby he turned Morpho into a butterfly. They have an agreement that if Morpho takes enough souls to the underworld then they will get their real form back. They won't keep this promise. Sometimes they visit the Aether and they tell Galacta about it.

There are guardians throughout the Aether that watch over the purest forms of the four elements. They also act as guardian figures to the puffs of that area. But this is all they do.

That's it though. Hope this Au is to your liking. Tell me if there's anything I can do to improve on it, or just tell me your thoughts on it. Thank you for reading.

[dolcetters]

get to know the mun ~!

repost, don’t reblog.

———  basics! ♡

(PEN)NAME: hannah / red / raven

PRONOUNS: she / her

ZODIAC SIGNS: virgo sun, scorpio moon

TAKEN OR SINGLE: hella single

———  three  facts! ♡

i horde art-of books like a dragon. current count around my art desk is 42 but i have maybe 4 or 5 over in my bookshelves that won’t fit in my desk drawers. if i hear an artist i love/follow is kickstarting a book, i’m on it. and i’m currently trying to slowly collect the Spectrum: Fantastic Art series as well as the annual Illustration series published by Shoeisha. in addition to art-of books, i also love collecting enamel pins and old fashion keys. i really love keys.

my favorite pokemon types are ghost types, and i tend to prefer sticking to the first 2 generations (though i have a handful of later generation pokemon i like, the designs just don’t tickle my quite as much). my FAVORITE would probably be haunter, if i had to choose. also i’ve had pokemon: moon for... cripes, 3 or 4 years? and i’ve barely gotten past getting my rowlet because i kept starting the game over because i really wanted a female, goddamnit. she’s mine, now. ...i just gotta actually give myself permission to play the actual game l m a o.

my webcomic is totally gonna give it away but i have a fascination with forests, trees, and especially old/ancient trees. i can’t quite put it into words, but the concept of a living thing being so MASSIVE and looming, winding, tall and beautiful whilst being thousands of years old... like... what stories can you tell? what have you seen? what have you lived through, felt, sheltered--just... a really love trees and what they can symbolize and/or bring to a story. and the idea of an old forest... auhaufhdskgd.

———  experience ! ♡

been RPing since ye ol’ neopets days (i wanna say i was 11-13?). went from there to RPing in various chat spaces on deviantart, then mostly did one-on-ones  with my bestie, JM, over skype and nowadays discord. think i joined the tumblr RPC early my freshman year of college? with this blog, actually (the original blog is now archived but same handle, same muse). aaaand a decade later i am stillll hereeeee.

———  muse preference !  ♡

can’t say i have one, really? i’ve written a super wide range of personalities over the years and tons of canon AND OCs alike. most of my tumblr muses have been canon, but this is mostly because OC blogs tend to take more leg work (icons, detailed bios, etc; seriously you guys are badasses) and since i started RPing around here in college going forward i generally just... don’t have the free time anymore to dedicate to the stuff OC blogs need. my free time goes toward my comic and other art because i really would like to make THAT my career, and i can’t justify to myself spending time i could be putting into that into an RP blog. --and i really hope that doesn’t come off as “dissing” OC blogs because seriously you guys are fucking incredible and in a lot of ways i do envy you because i wish i had the time and headspace to write my OCs around here--i love dol, but christ, sometimes it comes to the end of the day and you realize he’s not your own actual character and it all just feels super hollow lmfao. i continue to be in awe of the OCs i encounter around here. one of these days i’m gonna write a strongly worded letter of love.

———  FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡    

FLUFF: fluff is my shit. let me write disgustingly wholesome sweetness all day. i’ll give all you bitches cavities. you’ll hate me for it. my blog doesn’t come with dental, i’m so sorry, i’ll make it up to you somehow. GOD, i’m fluff deprived right now.

ANGST: i’m chill with angst so long as i get breaks. >xD it’s great for development and character exploration and all that jazz but as soon as we get grimdark for grimdark’s sake, i start checking out. i just. i can’t. i’m too tired, the world’s on fire, how ‘bout yours, that’s the way i like it and i never get bored.

SMUT: my willingness to write smut is 100% dependent on my relationship with the other mun, tbh. i was a bit looser with this when i started RPing and i kind of regret that in the sense that i think i let myself get pressured into it because tumblr RPing was newww and my partner and i were excited about our shiiiip and suddenly things were happeniiiiing, and now i’m like. ...idk, i just need to feel completely safe and in transparent communication with the mun before we can do that. it doesn’t help that i’m sex-repulsed and, while there’re some aspects of smut that i don’t bat an eye at there are others that’ll squick me out real fast. i got nothin’ against how often or unoften anyone else partakes, but ya gurl just needs that solid ground on a mun-to-mun level, y’feel.

PLOT / MEMES: i’m totally grand with either, my guy--i love plotted stuff with a basic “outline” of events that we just let our characters find their way through like they were on a roadtrip OR just ... throwing them to the wind and seeing what happens organically. sometimes meme-starters can take real interesting character turns, sometimes plots just up and die... LONG AS WE’RE HAVIN’ FUN.

tagged by: stolen from @aemiliiu​ because eeehhhhHHHHH??? it mundai.

tagging: i stole it, you steal it

[ashenpages]

WIP tag game!

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Tagged by @elderbwrry. You! I saw this notification and was all, “yeah, okay, I’ll answer some weird questions about my WIPs, should be fun...”

AND THEN IT WAS ABOUT TITLES!!!

You have no idea the disaster you’ve wrought for me, tagging me in this. I tag all of my fandom WIPs with [Character A] x [Character B, C, etc], a hyphen, and then a stupid title name that strikes me. Sometimes it stays, sometimes it changes, but regardless, NOW I GOTTA OUT ALL MY SHIPS

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME???

So you’re not gonna get titles. You’re gonna get my weird crazy sum-ups of what they are and how I remember them in my head. And it’s gonna be both fandom stuff and original stuff that was inspired by fandom stuff and got too big.

Here they are:

- Teen Titans, but it’s all kinds of gender bent and all about queer history and figuring out who you wanna be both as a person and as a hero.

- Invader Zim meets the Little Mermaid, monosex alien race member with sharp teeth and too many bio-tech enhancements to count and whom like’s she/her when she discovers earth pronouns and an aromantic but hyper-sexual cyrptid-obsessed NASA college student fall in love like garbage and save the universe. Alternate history where the US has its shit together, set near the Allan Telescope Array in California, because I miss going to visit my grandparents down there.

- Vampire hunter with Von Willibrands bleeding disorder and Alucard dhampire offspring of Dracula hunt down bad vampires together and question what makes a monster together while being scary and incredibly sapphic. Heavy Hellsing and Castlevania vibes (love both of those Alucards).

- Short story for an anthology that seems like a scary stalking story of a well-dressed Indian woman in Britain being chased through the streets at night by a bunch of dudes, until she turns out to be a vampire and eats them all. Then she meets up with her girlfriend for a late night dinner and declines to order anything because “she’s already eaten.” (this one’s due at the end of the month, so I better get typing)

- Other short story for an erotica anthology that has to include a sex scene, horror vibes, and a musical instrument (big ask for only 3-5K, but I’ll make it work!). Gonna have a hot museum curator seducing a book-ish scholar while telling her the myth of how Athena turned one of Medusa’s bones into a precious flute. I loved that myth growing up, and I’m looking forward to giving it some Hannibal vibes--while also getting to fulfill my life long dream of giving “fingering” a double entendre.

- Persona 5 Phantom Thieves in a polycule, Ryuji figures out what to do with his fucking life while getting seduced by Akira and Makoto figures out the police are bad while dating Ann. Yusuke and Futaba are the platonic life partners we all need to see in the world, and Haru is a very romantic asexual bean who loves how excited everyone gets. Akira is an ethical slut, and we love him.

- Lupin gang phantom thieves in a polycule (Fujiko offscreen) x 5. I have like five of these and they’re all different, and my spouse loves these goons, so I have a lot of them to write. We love this series from its 1970s origins all the way up through Season 5 and Lupin III: The First.

- Sonadow coffee shop vampire novelist AU. (ask me questions, it’s all too ridiculous to include here, it needs its own post/posts)

- Sonic Girls Blazamy thing where I get to sideline all the boys and just hang out with Amy, Blaze, Rouge, and Cream. Omega can come too. I haven’t played Riders and know nothing about Wave. It also wouldn’t be comics or Boom set because I’d get to distracted by how adorable Tangle and Whisper are together, I don’t wanna deal with the war they introduced in Forces, and in the Boom universe I kinda ship Amy with Sticks. But seeing Rouge play nice with other girls, seeing Cream be competant with all the skills she’s learned from Uncle Sonic, Uncle Shadow, and Aunt Rouge? Having Amy’s power inhibitors come off use the Chaos Emeralds alongside Blaze and her Sol Emeralds, and then kiss?! YES PLEASE!

- I’m sure I’ll get around to a ThanZagMeg threesome fic eventually, because Hades Game just gave me all the good poly feels for these three and ambushed me with the in-game threesome on Valentine’s Day of all days.

Thank you for tagging me in this. I know I completely changed it, but it was still fun. =D

I’ll tag @palenoface and @realperson022 because I wanna hear about your Sonic fics. <3

[excorcismic]

you ever have that one muse that’s just like . . . no matter how many characters you play , not matter how much time goes by , you will never get sick of writing that muse & they’re such a huge comfort character and mean the world to you ?? YES , that’s me with miss zelda here . i . . . love zelda ( the character and the series ) with every fiber of my being and after a lot of debate i finally decided i’d bring her here !! i’m doing leon’s intro next and will try to get to replies ( want to get down zel’s intro soon but i’d like to plot things first ) afterwards but pls pls pls here’s a detailed plotting call for my princess !! pls like / react if you’re interested - or let me know if we’re already plotting !!

IN A CANON NUTSHELL : so this zelda is the princess from the masterpiece known as breath of the wild - one hundred years before the events of the game , she was kind of the ‘leader’ of the champions , a group of people who were tasked to aid in protecting hyrule once calamity ganon rose again . link , who was also a champion , was assigned as her personal knight - in the beginning . . . she did not like him for the fact that he seemed to have everything under control and she didn’t . why ?? well , zelda , from birth , was told she had to unlock a power in herself that would potentially save hyrule from the calamity , and for some reason , no matter how hard she tried , she couldn’t do it . and she was mad at herself for feeling like a failure when she was put under an intense amount of pressure from her father & the prophecy - even called the heir to a throne of nothing because of how no results came from her ceaseless prayers . EVENTUALLY , her powers would reveal themselves . . . but only after the calamity arrived , all of the champions had been downed ( save for link , on the verge of death ) , and all seemed lost . but she would use her power to protect hyrule & keep the calamity contained inside hyrule castle until link would awaken and finish him off .

IN AN ALUCARD NUTSHELL : so zelda . daughter of a preacher ( father ) & a lawyer ( mother , now deceased ) , always expected to be the picture perfect child hence why she never got much of a chance to have a break from endless studying & extra things . she’s always been a straight-a student , has done fencing since she was a child , trilingual in english spanish & mandarin chinese , now a star college student majoring in biology ( her own choice , because she loves science ) and minoring in law ( because her father wants her to be a lawyer like her mother & she uhh hates it ! ) she’s seen as ‘little miss perfect’ because she can do so much and never seems to do any wrong but zelda is uhhh sick of that and is actually now trying to rebel against her father and throw herself into trouble . since lowkey all of this shit is killing her and she wants to breathe freely . she’s trying to do what she wants to do hence why she’s majoring in bio instead of law , working at the local florist instead of taking a law internship , actually trying to pursue a social life outside of the people her dad approves of . that stuff . she’s basically a genius who wants to say ‘fuck u’ to the people telling her what to do and go on her own path and i think that’s sexy .

BUT OHHHHHHHHHH YOU WANNA PLOT WITH ZELDA SO BAD OHHHHHHH

so zelda . given her situation ?? there is so much to work with . lemme spout off these ideas bc i’m so fucking excited .

firstly - people who know about her little miss perfect reputation and either dislike her or are intimidated by her for it . zelda isn’t a snob in the slightest but with someone who does as much as she does it’s only natural to assume she is . but she isn’t , i promise ; she hates that being her epithet .

kind of building off the idea of people knowing abt her whole ‘lmp’ thing - i’d love some folks who actually entertain zelda’s desires to break away from that and take her out to do rebellious shit or something like that !! because zelda wants to get the fuck out she hates it here .

some who encourage her and some who do the opposite - ‘you can do it, don’t be scared’ vs. ‘you really don’t belong here so go back to your books and pencils’

maybe ppl who hold zelda to some sort of pedestal bc of her reputation ?? which is equally as bad to her - she’s lowkey crumbling under all these expectations and she’s amazing but to be seen as someone . . . above other people , she doesn’t like that at all .

also those folks who in any grade of school rly have tried to exploit her need to get good grades & genius to their advantage aka if i pair up with the smart kid we’ll get an a guaranteed . can be anywhere - could’ve been in the past or could be now . 

CLASSMATES in general . from elementary , middle school , high school for the past , and now college classmates .

study buddies !! study buddies that zelda either vibes with immensely in terms of how she works or butts heads with them . her way of thinking is both incredibly organized but also all over the place . she can be either very easy or difficult to work with .

gimme some school rivals or equals aka ppl that zelda’s on par with in terms of intellect/grades and either they fucking hate each other or make a pretty good team . maybe both ! put the smart ppl in a room together and see what happens .

also want to clarify this can be on both the bio or law side for any of these college-based connections bc zelda is taking both she’s just . way more passionate about biology than she is law .

OLD FENCING TEAMMATES OR RIVALS PLEASE yes she is still fencing to this day and she’s awesome at it . she’s got a shitton of medals and she actually likes it but it’s another thing that was forced upon her since she was young .

her dad is a local preacher so by nature she’s always expected to be at church so ppl who know her as the preacher’s daughter/from church bc imma keep it real zelda ain’t that enthused abt that religion either but again . once again have to fill father’s expectations . one day tho she’s just gonna stop showing up .

i’d like maybe a social circle who zelda’s father approves of ?? like , friends who zelda has but they’re more so just bc that’s what mr. king wanted . i’d also like a partner/ex-partner to fit this description aka zelda’s not rly that into it or was into it bc it was again . kinda just ‘i’m just dating you bc my dad approves of you’ kinda deal and maybe she tried but overall . didn’t/doesn’t work .

i also , though , like the idea of a social circle who zelda’s father would never approve of and she hangs w/ them bc maybe she likes them or maybe she also just wants to prove a point . maybe she dated someone for this reason too - just the whole spectrum of ‘what dad wants vs. what dad wasn’t’ bc pissing off her dad is kind of a major goal at this point .

so maybe regular customers of the flower shop she works at - she just . zelda rly loves flowers & nature ( and again science as a whole , especially life science hence biology ) and she can go off on so many tangent about flowers please talk to her about flowers . maybe even bring her some flowers too jk unless

i’d rly find it awesome if zelda had some ppl who maybe liked her enough to follow her when she goes out just studying things and listen to her bc she loves to talk about her passions - she likes taking hikes and trips out into nature or the botanical gardens and stuff like that to do studies / experiments of her own . she likes museums , gardens , the outdoors - zelda loves knowledge and learning about things and if someone just kept her company while she did so that’d be awesome .

i’m a sucker for canon parallels with non-canon characters so . maybe a relationship that doesn’t rly have any specificity in what portion of zelda’s life ( school , father approved social circle , father disapproved social circle , night life etc etc ) but mirrors her relationship with link in breath of the wild - for whatever reason , zelda and this other character are around each other very frequently and the beginning for some reason she is very put off by it but then comes around and eventually this muse , they become extremely closer with her and important to her . in any way !! idk if it’s platonic or romantic but , in rps like this that’s lowkey my jam but it works the best with miss zelda

AS ALWAYS - friends ! enemies !  former crushes ! exes ! gimme anything and all !! the princess of hyrule is AT YOUR SERVICE and i’m so excited to write her . i love her .

and now . . . onto leon’s intro i hopefully go .