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gb-patch · 3 years ago

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Ask Answers: July 10th

I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!

Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.

For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?

There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.

Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0

The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.

Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.

I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.

Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!

Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!

idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately

Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.

Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference!

Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.

I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀

I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!

I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked.

Thank you for reporting ^^

I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~

There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!

hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :)

I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.

Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore

This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.

HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC

Thank you for getting it!

Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩

Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.

Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right?

Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.

Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty!

Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart

Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe?

Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.

Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?

No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.

Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in?

You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!

Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more!

I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.

is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch?

A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.

I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that.

If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.

Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :)

It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.

I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)

L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!

I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.

Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?

I understand if it's too complicated, just curious

Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.

playing our life > anything else

Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂).

Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.

Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha

Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!

Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu

No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.

Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3

They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.

I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4?

Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.

Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol

Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.

Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc.

It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.

In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before!

Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.

I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that?

It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.

I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever?

Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.

hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :>

I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!

Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game?

OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.

I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1.

I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.

As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?

They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!

Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.

Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?

You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.

Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you?

No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.

Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing?

Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.

Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc?

He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.

Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments?

Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.

hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.

sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.

Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.

I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<

Yes you can!

what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress?

That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.

#our life #ask #gb patch #gb patch games #all projects #Our Life Beginnings & Always #Our Life: Now & Forever

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eri-blogs-life · 3 years ago

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So, I finally beat Final Fantasy XII for the first time. And now I shall summarize my thoughts about it, in a nearly 2000 word post.

First off, my history with this game. I bought Dragon Quest 8 when I was a kid, and that game included a demo disk for FFXII which I played a ton. I eventually was able to purchase a copy of FFXII for myself, back on the PS2. It formed part of a trifecta of big JRPGs that kinda defined the middle school era of my life - Final Fantasy XII, Dragon Quest 8, and Tales of Symphonia.

But I never did beat it back in the day. The farthest I remember getting was some big tower in the sea, which I have now in retrospect found out is the penultimate dungeon. So I was damn close when I was a kid, but never quite did finish it up totally.

I came back to it from time to time, starting up new save files and trying to push my way through to see the whole game. But it was only now, on this attempt on the Switch version of the game (the Zodiac Age version of the game) that I have finally seen the ending cutscene. To be fair, there’s a bunch of optional content like most of the espers that I never quite did get around to doing, so it’s arguable if I’ve really fully completed the game, but it’s a long experience, so eventually I settled on just pushing through the final fight so I could consider it done for now. I might come back to my save just before the final dungeon to “complete” the game some day, but not today. (I was using the 2x speed mode for most of the game, and I still have about 55 hours of playtime)

I’m gonna break down my thoughts into a few big sections here. Lets talk story first, then characters, then aesthetics, then gameplay, and then we’ll wrap it up towards the end of this very long post.

FFXII’s story is... fine, I’d say. It feels kinda... erratic at times, throwing you into some situations without really feeling like there’s much justification for that to be a part of the greater story, even if each scenario does have some small way to play into the greater story.

But I can certainly appreciate what the story seems to be inspired by. I can’t really say for certain if FFXII is meant to be a metaphor for the war in the middle east, but damn if it doesn’t feel like that’s the intended goal. The Archadian Empire really does feel like America in a lot of ways, being a “democratic” political system led by a powerful lineage who just always happens to end up in the throne for some reason, having a group of senators who serve as council and support for the emporer, but during the war the emporer claiming full command over the military. It’s not necessarily a perfect comparison, but at least to me the comparisons overall felt strong enough to at least try and interpret the game through a lens of the american war in the middle east. The game features a struggle for power with immensely powerful weapons, there’s these huge oil fields that draw natural resources up out of the ground, there’s a huge nation on the other side of the territory being claimed that could start a war with the Archadian Empire at any point in time.

And to that end it... is decent, I guess. I mean, I’m playing it so far after the events that would theoretically have inspired a lot of the game’s design, so to a large degree I’m also just looking at the game as it stands on its own and not in the cultural context it may have once held. And it’s fine. The story isn’t necessarily anything special, but it’s fine

I could talk about the big theme of the game, which I read as “should humanity be guided by gods or by our own actions?” But... I don’t know, I don’t think there’s a ton to be said about that. The game seems to posit that sometimes even those who claim to be doing things of their own free will are still doing them under the orders of another? But ultimately making your own decisions is still the best course of action, even if it ... you know what, I don’t know. I’d have to replay the game a few times and really try to process everything the game’s narrative takes on to really have a discussion on this point, so we’re gonna leave it aside for now.

So FFXII’s characters, primarily the main cast of 6 playable characters. They’re a real mixed bag, honestly. I enjoyed them, for the most part. But Vaan and Penelo are.... not great. And Ashe and Fran felt kinda bland to me at times. But Basch and Balthier are amazing.

Vaan is kinda an interesting case. He’s just some kid, a street urchin from our central city of Rabanastre, a citizen of the oppressed Dalmasca but ultimately just a guy. He’s our everyman protagonist who the player is meant to have as something of a vessel to learn about the world from someone not very traveled or well-versed in how this world is shaped. And to that end he holds up okay. But even by the end of the game, Vaan doesn’t stand up to do anything particularly unique that would make the player surrogate really something special. He gains some level of strength and stability, and I guess that does put him on a similar level to many of the other characters in the main cast by the end, but he still just feels kinda out of place, even in the end.

Penelo is like Vaan but she’s also used as a damsel in distress early on in the game. Great!

Ashe, the princess of Dalmasca, is the real main character. The story really revolves around her struggle to reclaim her kingdom, her fight for Dalmasca’s freedom from the Empire, and her decision of whether to destroy the weapons that the Empire holds or get her own weapons to rival theirs. She’s a fine character, though at times I did feel she felt kinda bland. But in a sense that actually works out really well, since she ends up as a better player surrogate than Vaan.

Fran holds some important narrative weight, using her knowledge and her unique position as one of the viera to help drive the story along at a few points and that’s great! But I feel like she kinda takes a back seat a lot of the time, mostly playing a supporting role to Balthier

Basch, the knight of Dalmasca and Lady Ashe’s protector feels like such an interesting character. And part of that is not even his fault, but rather the fact that he has a twin brother who fights for the Empire. And that slaps. Seeing the two of them confront each other at times throughout the story, or seeing how their choices differ but how each could have easily become in the other’s position, feels really strong as a narrative drive.

And Balthier. Oh, Balthier. What’s there to say about Balthier? He plays the Leading Man.

I. Love. Balthier. He’s a suave, charismatic son of a bitch and he plays such a good role in the party, providing transportation and guidance and so much more. As we find out late in the game, he’s actually from Archades, being the son of Doctor Cid, but he abandoned his name and his fame to take to the skies as a sky pirate. His constant insistence that he plays the leading man, that he’s the real center of attention in this story, just holds such a special place in my heart. He’s cocky and it’s so great. (Side note, there’s a lot about Balthier that reads to me as an unintentional trans allegory and I just loved head-canoning Balthier and Fran as this T4T trans man / trans woman couple who left their respective homes and found home in each other. It’s almost definitely not their intended purpose but boy howdy I’m gonna think it anyway cause I’m trans and desperate for something like representation)

Aesthetics. Sound and visuals, basically. FFXII is usually a pleasant game to look at and listen to, in my opinion. The soundtrack is gorgeous (and all up on Spotify~), and has been a part of my listening rotation since I first downloaded a copy of it onto my iPod Classic back in 2009.

The graphics are decent. I mean, it was a PS2 game so I guess they were good for the time? The enhanced Zodiac Age version you can pick up on modern consoles cleans up the models and makes things look overall pretty solid. No real complaints there on my part.

The visual design of the game I absolutely adore. You get these fantastic fantasy environments that, while not feeling visually consistent at all times, really tell of a beautiful world that’s something to behold. And every area you encounter - from each city, to the deserts, to the jungles, to the inside of a giant crystal - feels unique and is fascinating to look at.

And then we get to FFXII’s gameplay. FFXII is definitely an interesting one. The game uses an Active Time Battle system, much like most other Final Fantasy games, but the big unique thing in FFXII is Gambits.

Gambits work basically as programming - you can assign an If->Then statement that your character will follow as their default action if you don’t give them specific commands. So, for example, I could define for Vaan that if there is an enemy nearby with the lowest health among enemies nearby, attack that enemy. And for each character, you can assign 12 gambits that they will follow in priority order, and 3 different sets of 12 gambits each that can be swapped out. It gets wild. It’s an interesting choice of system, which allows for some weird gameplay paths. So, I relied heavily on gambits, setting up rules for how my characters should behave in combat, and mostly relied on them to follow those commands whenever possible, without giving any of my own input on-the-fly to how they should act. Which to me felt fun - I was programming out choices and seeing if they would play out successfully in combat. But the gambit system could easily be very boring for some people, since it does limit what you as the player need to actually provide input for on a moment-to-moment basis.

The other big gameplay thing I wanna touch on is the Hunts, which are one of my favorite aspects of FFXII. A huge, HUGE list of optional bosses to track down and kill? Some of which have unique little quests to take on? Sign me up! Ultimately they’re just a list of side quests you can do, but something about the structure of them as these hunts for unique monsters that lie out there somewhere in the world, that you may sometimes have to complete special objectives to even get them to appear in the first place, has always struck me as really fascinating.

( ^ nice)

So, altogether? Final Fantasy XII is... fine. It’s well put together, but it doesn’t necessarily feel like it has anything too special to stand it apart (except of course for Balthier, my beloved). It’s long, but that length doesn’t necessarily feel like it always translates to game segments that are really necessary. I enjoyed my time with it, but only up to a point. I’m not left craving any more. I enjoyed it for the first couple dozen hours in re-playing it, but eventually it got to a point where I was just so so ready to move on to something new.

#eri blogs games #final fantasy xii

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luucarii · 8 years ago

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Fire Emblem Echoes Ramblings

Okaysss so hopefully this won’t be as long as my Persona 5 Ramblings (I’m honestly going to start a “Rambling” series where I just give my opinions on games and anime and just other shit soo)

spoilers and bitching abroad my friends.

edit: most of my bitching is toward the story not the game itself. The gameplay is amazing, save for some few nitpicks I mention down below.

Fire Emblem Echoes. A game I’m extremely conflicted about. Now, this is coming from someone who has only played Awakening and Fates. Echoes was… okay. I don’t think I’ll go back to replay it for a while. Like a long, long while.

Echoes physically drained me after about Act 3. Maybe it was because I was a little high on Persona 5 at the time, maybe it was because I was finishing up school. I don’t know for sure.

Everything just grew so repetitive. The constant “rout the enemy” missions, the lack of memorable map layouts, the lack of memorable anything really. Nothing really stood out to me.

The story, was an extreme slow burn and the amount of exposition was incredible for how simple the overall layout was. The title screen cutscene that plays where Alm and Celica are talking about Duma and Mila perfectly explain what the whole game is going to have you accomplish. Duma’s the bad God and is going mad and with the help of Mila you (or Alm and Celica) are going to have to put him down. I get why they had to have all this fluff in the beginning with the prologue (to establish Alm and Celica’s relationship even though their relationship wasn’t exactly executed properly I feel but I’ll get into that later) but all the other shit involved like why Alm has a Brand and the Masked Man (two “plot twists” that literally anyone could have seen coming - YOU GET THE MEMORY OF CONRAD’S “DEATH” THE BATTLE BEFORE/AFTER YOU MEET HIM HOLY SHIT ITS SO OBVIOUS) was just a bore to me.

The battles were quickly forgotten as well as the named villains you fight. Besides Berkut (who is probably the best villain in the damn game even if he isn’t the main antagonist) and Jedah (who was obviously the main antagonist considering all the cutscenes he was in) I literally only remember Fernand because of his death near the end of the last dungeon. Everyone else who had names and who you were forced to fight are just footnotes because there’s nothing memorable about them. They’re just commanders for Rudolf’s army or are apart of the Duma faithful. Removing their names wouldn’t affect the plot at all.

I feel like the plot as a whole was an attempt to make a simple plot more complex and failed in process. It’s literally a Mila vs Duma fight but all this extra stuff made it drag on longer than my 33ish hours of playtime. And I’m very disappointed because after Fates and Awakening (two games that I genuinely enjoyed) I was looking forward to Echoes. From the trailers and screenshots I was interested in the whole concept of dueling gods but the execution was just subpar for me.

Now, I have one more gripe with the overall story. Alm and Celica. Specifically their relationship. In my personal opinion, Alm and Celica’s relationship seems so forced from the minute the prologue starts. I’ll admit there are a few sparing cute moments here and there but I feel they’re quickly overshadowed once you realize they had only been friends for maybe a good 3-5ish years as children before Mycen took Celica away. You honestly expect me to believe that they continued to want to see each other after 8+ years of being apart? You honestly expect Alm, Gray, Tobin, Faye, everyone to remember Celica from childhood when she was taken away from them at such a young age? I… I just can’t buy it. You can also argue that their fates were intertwined since they both have the Brand and they are the “Children of Fate” but I still can’t swallow that without any lingering thought of bullshit. I never shipped Alm and Celica because I can’t see any actual romantic development with them besides them obviously caring about each other. The fight at the beginning was just a plot device to drive them away from each other and having Celica get momentarily possessed at the end and have Alm kill her was just another cliche and having Mila save her (when to be honest, Celica was better off dead) just made me shrug and say “she’s one of the main protagonists, obviously she won’t die.”

Guys, Nintendo. If you’re going to establish a relationship in one of your games, for fuck’s sake make it at least somewhat likable. Shulk and Fiora (even though Fiora can get a bit bitchy sometimes), Reyn and Sharla both from Xenoblade Chronicles, Link and Zelda from Skyward Sword (specifically). These relationships had development. They grew. Yeah, they had a fight here and there but that wasn’t the only basis as to why they’re loved as a couple. Shulk and Fiora while yes they had their fair bit of problems (mostly the whole revenge relationship plot) you can still see them let their hair down and have fun and Fiora teases Shulk a lot throughout the game. Reyn and Sharla start as a sort of friends while Reyn has to work himself to show Sharla that he can be a man to take care of her after the stuff with Sharla’s fiancé (story shit I won’t get into because spoilers). Link and Zelda (while if only in the first few cutscenes) you can see Zelda poke fun at Link, you can see the care she has for him, HELL THEY EVEN HAVE A FAKEOUT KISS AT THE BEGINNING. During SS you see Zelda grow as she begins to realize her role and Link meanwhile is risking his life all for her, all so he can get back to her.

Alm and Celica, I feel, have none of this. Guys, having them fight at the beginning of the game just to drive a wedge in between them and have them come back together at the end doesn’t make them a good couple if the reason for the fight was overall shit and hypocritical on Celica’s part. Just… ugh. I’m sorry to any Alm/Celica shippers but I just don’t like them together.

Maybe it’s my bias because I really really don’t like Celica as a character but either way I don’t ship Alm/Celica and there’s nothing that can convince me that they’re good together.

Now, this is already long enough so I’ll sum up the rest of things about Echoes that disappointed me.

The Supports. Don’t get me wrong, the voice acting is absolutely amazing, one of the best I’ve seen this year. But just… the lack of them compared to Fates and Awakening is so disappointing. Now I get Echoes was based off one of the older games so it’s not completely fair to compare the supports to that of recent games but there’s literally a maximum of 3 supports per character and the supports do literally nothing to show off character. Fates and Awakening’s supports had 3 (4 if it was a marriage support) short bursts of dialogue away from the main game to establish character, likes, dislikes, compatibility with other characters the works. These supports, if anything, are lighthearted pieces of fluff to distract from the somewhat serious tone of the game.

Enemy Variety and Class Variety. Again more I can’t exactly complain about since Echoes was based off an older game and thus took aspects from said older game. But… the amount of Dread Fighters and Barons I saw in the last dungeon just made me hate the classes as a whole (despite two of my best boys Tobin and Kamui being Dread Fighters with Brave Swords who fucked EVERYONE up with crits). Fates and Awakening had such a fun cast of classes, my favorites being Nohr Noble and Assassin and dropping the number of classes just… ugh.

Also, one last quick note. The suddenly difficulty spike is one of the main reasons I considered dropping the game midway through. I played on Normal/Casual (I’m still a newbie leave me alone…) and although I died once, there was a bunch of times where I was sitting in frustration of not knowing what to do. Though as a strategy game, you’re kinda suppose to do that so…

OKAY ENOUGH BITCHING ABOUT THIS GAME, LETS GET INTO THE SHIT I LIKED…which is going to be a few short paragraphs…

The Voice Acting. Holy shit the voice acting. Not only is it featuring some of my favorites (Cherami Leigh, Max Mittelman and the like) but nearly every line is spoken beautifully. Special props to Alm’s voice actor Kyle McCarley who brought me to near tears with some of his lines. Absolutely incredible.

Bows!!! BOWS ARE ACTUALLY GETTING LOVE! I rarely used archers in Awakening but I did pick up using them in Fates (Takumi and Kiragi are incredible) and I fell in love with them here in Echoes. Finally they’re not just limited to 2 spaces and they can hit as far as 5 and just… Python and Leon were my main favorites.

Dungeons. It’s a nice break between battles and they’re interesting locals. But please, Celica, that weird squeak that you have while attacking… just… please stop.

The Design. The character design is something I can’t NOT praise. Everyone looks incredible. While the cutscenes I feel lag a little compared to Fates and Awakening you can’t deny they still look amazing for a 3Ds game.

The Soundtrack. I’m a sucker for good music (one of the reasons why I love XC, Okami, Botw and the like) and a good majority of the tracks on the ost I’m completely in love with. The credits theme especially “The Heritors of Arcadia.” Props to Bonnie Gordon (Silque’s VA) she did an amazing job.

Verdict. Overall, Echoes was okay for me. It was different compared to Fates and Awakening and I knew that going in. I knew there was no marriage system, I knew they were getting rid of the weapon triangle, I knew it was going to be similar to the older games to close divide between the fans before Awakening and after Awakening. And it was a good different in some ways but in most other ways just disappointed me. The fact that I had to force myself to marathon the last dungeon just so I could finish the damn game speaks miles. I was drained. I didn’t want to continue but I did just for the sake of saying I beat it. It didn’t feel like 30 hours of game play for me, it felt like months (which in actuality was nearly two). Like I mentioned, I doubt I’ll pick this game up again anytime soon (while Fates I replayed and beat nearly 6+ times, 2 for each path and Awakening I’ve replayed maybe 3 times I can’t remember). It could’ve been so much more, I feel, if they didn’t try to shove Alm/Celica down my throat and if we could have had some more character development. But eh, that’s just me.

ALSO IM REALLY HAPPY MAE AND BOEY ENDED UP TOGETHER.

#ari speaks?#fe echoes #welp not as long as my p5 ramblings but still pretty long #idk how to feell

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operationrainfall · 6 years ago

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Title SENRAN KAGURA Peach Ball Developer MARVELOUS!, Honey ∞ Parade Games Publisher XSEED Games Release Date July 9th, 2019 Genre Board Game, Pinball, Party Game Platform PC, Nintendo Switch Age Rating Mature 17+ – Language, Partial Nudity, Sexual Themes Official Website

In a way, I’m really happy I’m the one that got to review SENRAN KAGURA Peach Ball. I’ve been a fan of the series from the beginning, and it’s been nice to watch it grow over the years. On the other hand, I kind of feel like a displaced time traveler, since I played the first couple of games, took a long break, played Bon Appétit! and that’s it. In other words, while I am familiar with the series, there’s a lot I’ve missed out on for various reasons, mostly my ridiculous backlog of games. But that didn’t stop me from deciding I would review Peach Ball. The question then, was this a great SENRAN KAGURA side story? Or should I have stayed put in my time machine?

Much like Bon Appétit! before it, Peach Ball is not a game that’s supposed to be taken as seriously as the main franchise. Which is saying something. So if you come here expecting a deep plot and agency for the various characters, you’ll be disappointed. While I kind of expected that, I still was hoping for just a bit more story here. Part of the fun of SENRAN KAGURA isn’t just the action and fanservice, but rooting for the girls as they overcome their fears and pursue their ideals to become stronger human beings. For better or worse, that’s not the theme of Peach Ball.

Peach Ball starts at Haruka’s new side job, working at an arcade. Several of her shinobi sisters are there to watch Yomi and Murasaki compete for the grand prize in a fighting game, when Ryōna sets chaos in motion. She’s just washing her hands in the bathroom and she finds a bottle hidden away that she thinks is soap. Instead it’s a dangerous chemical concoction, called Beastall, that Haruka made in her spare time (idle hands and all that), and it quickly goes into hilarious effect. Ryōna suddenly transforms into a dog version of herself, and runs about licking everyone in sight. Thus the contamination spreads to everybody she touches, and suddenly you have 5 rampaging ninja girls who think they’re animals on the loose. Now it’s up to Haruka and a random bystander from the arcade (played by you) to set things right.

Story mode is split into 5 separate, though largely similar, campaigns. In each, after you pick the shinobi whose campaign you want to try, they are quickly returned to sanity and work with you and Haruka to bring the other girls back to their senses. The one nice thing in this mode is there’s pretty solid writing for each campaign, and there’s some gut busting humor here if you don’t mind things getting a bit raunchy. Each campaign, except one, also culminates in a confrontation against the girl you start out with, as they are inexplicably reinfected by Haruka’s Beastall concoction. You’re probably wondering how you can cure your friends, and the answer is pinball.

Yes, I was confused too. Haruka gives some explanation about needing to use the titular Peach Balls to cure your friends. By accumulating enough vibrational energy, it will release a cleansing mist that returns the girl to her senses. It all is pretty much an excuse to get crazed shinobi girls to sit and jiggle atop pinball machines and bop them with balls until they are fixed. And because it’s a SENRAN KAGURA game, there’s plenty of fanservice. I wasn’t bothered by it, but it can get pretty risque, especially when you start participating in the various mini games required to save the girls. It’s definitely not the sort of game to play on a crowded bus or in polite company, since the moans and various sound effects can be very distracting. There’s also definite suggested elements of BDSM here. But rather than harp on all that, let’s move onto the meat of the game – the pinball itself.

I should note that the last time I played an actual pinball machine was probably a good decade ago. Having said that, the pinball mechanics in SENRAN KAGURA Peach Ball are pretty entertaining. You control the flippers with either of the shoulder buttons, and can shake the machine with the joysticks. Like any pinball game, your goal is to keep the ball in play as long as possible and bop things to get points. But because this is SENRAN KAGURA, there are some weird little twists. Your goal is to accumulate enough Peach Points, but you don’t just do it once. In story mode you need to fill up the meter 3 times to win, and you have a limited amount of Peach Balls. Each time you get enough energy, you can bop the girls to initiate a Sexy Challenge, where you play a mini game to increase your rank and it ends with something ridiculous happening to the girl. Examples are an ice cream truck spilling onto their cleavage or an explosive blowing up part of their already flimsy clothing.

Ryōna may enjoy pinball a bit too much…

None of the mini games are that challenging, but they throw some curveballs at you. One are when Faeries appear on the field of play. You get points for wiping them out before they disappear, but they are also really good at deflecting your pinball in awkward directions. This brings us to the Peach Missions. Basically, each machine has small goals you can accomplish for more points, such as bopping the girl a set amount of times or hitting the bumpers frequently. There’s a lot of variety, and that’s great, though it can be hard to keep them in mind as you’re frantically trying to keep the ball in play. Frankly, I was a bit overwhelmed by all the different things you have to keep track of while playing. Thankfully, I found that by just doing your best to keep the ball from falling off screen, you’ll usually be able to win. You might get less points overall, but that’s hardly game breaking.

There’s a lot to enjoy in these mechanics. I loved hitting the Luka Hole, where a demented dolphin would reward me with a random usable item, or bouncing the ball off spinning teacups, or even hitting a heart to temporarily put the girl in a state of ecstasy. However, as much as I enjoyed the amount of things to do, I do strongly wish there were more pinball machines. I only encountered 2 different ones in my entire story mode playtime. I was really hoping each girl would have her own machine with unique gimmicks but that wasn’t the case. Unfortunately, this phenomenon of wanting more content translated to several other aspects of the game. Much as I enjoyed all the girls in Peach Ball, there were so many more that could have been here. There’s only 2 Hebijo girls, 1 Hanzo, 1 Gessen and 1 Crimson Squad. My personal favorites Hibari and Hikage don’t show up at all. If you love characters like Mirai, you’re also gonna be disappointed, since there are no flat shinobi in the game. And while Haruka is front and center the entire time, you never get to cure her of Beastall infection. Though to be fair, you can pester her in the credits.

It wouldn’t be a SENRAN KAGURA game without tons of extras you can purchase, and that’s the case here. There’s tons of accessories you can buy to dress up the girls, as well as entirely new outfits. You’ll want to buy everything, including the music and story art. You can even buy different types of Peach Balls, though I’m still not really clear on the differences between the Yin and Yang balls, and whether it really matters strategically. My only complaint regarding all these extras are that altogether they cost a ton of money, and even after beating every story campaign, I’m nowhere near flush enough to buy them all. On the other hand, that does give me proper incentive to play the free play mode a lot more to get enough cash.

Visually, Peach Ball is a great game and it looks fantastic on Nintendo Switch. It’s very colorful and the designs for all the girls’ animal forms is distinct and attractive. The many cutscenes further add to the fabric of this humorous adventure, as well as reminding me why I love this series. The banter is especially hilarious, and Ryōna quickly cemented herself as my favorite girl in the game. Her lewd nature and twisted sense of pleasure made her by far one of the funniest shinobi in the entire story mode, with some amazing one liners. Musically, the game is okay, but the voice acting more than makes up for it. Each actor does a wonderful job of presenting a distinct personality, and none sounds identical to any other. The sound effects do their job, though you might want to turn down the volume when the shinobi start getting loud.

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Overall, I did rather enjoy SENRAN KAGURA Peach Ball, though I feel it will mostly appeal to longtime fans of the series. It’s fun and colorful with good replay value, but it also feels very repetitive and lacking in terms of content. I saw there’s a tab in the game shop for DLC, which makes me hopeful they will add additional character packs later on. But I still can’t help but feeling they should have loaded the base game with more content from the get go. Cause while I do feel you get your money’s worth for $39.99, I also feel there could be much more variety here. That said, I easily got some 10 hours playing through campaign, and it will take many, many more hours to unlock everything. If you’re a fan of SENRAN KAGURA, you’ll find a lot to love here. If not, you might want to wait for the next main game in the series.

[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”4″]

Review Copy Provided by Publisher

REVIEW: SENRAN KAGURA Peach Ball Title SENRAN KAGURA Peach Ball

#fanservice #Honey Parade Games #Marvelous #oprainfall #PC #Peach Ball #pinball #Senran Kagura #Switch #XSEED Games

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apkrich-blog · 6 years ago

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Kingdom Rush MOD Apk Download + Unlimited Gems + Latest Version

New Post has been published on https://www.apkrich.com/kingdom-rush-mod-apk-download-unlimited-gems-latest-version/

Kingdom Rush MOD Apk Download + Unlimited Gems + Latest Version

Kingdom Rush Apk mod is a popular Strategy game. This special version has unlimited Gems and everything you want. It’s acclaimed action fantasy defense game is now available on Android devices. It’s time to get ready for an epic journey to defend your kingdom against hordes of orcs, trolls, evil wizards and other nasty fiends. Also, using a vast arsenal of towers and spells at your command!

Kingdom Rush Latest Version Features

1. Epic defense:

This game has Epic defense battles that will hook you for hours and Command your soldiers and see them engage in hand to hand cartoon battles!

2. Customize Upgrades:

Kingdom Rush has 8 specialized tower upgrades to customize your strategy! You’ll see Mighty Barbarians, Arcane Wizards, Forest Rangers to name a few.

3. HD Cartoon:

KR has High definition awesome illustrated cartoon art, which is Optimized for Android Phones and Tablets! Here are some user reviews:

Trenton Vaught: I loved the game, I beat it before a review and I can say for certain it is a great game. I only have a single complaint and that is the length. it’s far too short, a game this good needs more levels. sure you can replay them but I want new. if you are reading this dev make more levels!

Richard Godfrey: Honestly, this is a FANTASTIC game! Classic tower defense strategy, very easy to understand, fun graphics AND AND AND you can play offline 🙂 PLUS gameplay’s never interrupted with ads. Cheers to the Developers! I’ve been playing this for years- since PC lol! Thanks!

K: Great fun tower defense game with plenty of character. The sprites, towers, and voices are full of character and add to the sense of enjoyment. There is plenty to unlock as you progress and in-game purchases are limited to some hero icons and powers so playing for free feels fine and not gated. Recommended to anyone interested in fun tower defense games who don’t want to be tied by in-game purchases.

Christos: Very addictive tower defense gameplay. It gets quite difficult in later levels. Does not try and shove ads down your throat like other mobile games. Although watching ads for in-game gems is an option to quickly get extra lives for when one too many Dark Knights get by. Music may get repetitive to some. Graphics and gameplay are great. Tons of pop culture references too. The story is cute and works for the game. Overall, I highly recommend this game to anyone who likes RTS Tower Defense games.

Phantom Hood: Very, very good game. It requires 75% Skill and has a very unique touch to it. One of my favorite games. You can battle orcs, trolls, and many more with the towers you have built. Heroes, bombers, archers, and knights. I recommend this a lot.

Brandon Gowens: I really enjoy playing this game !!! it’s better than clash of clans in my opinion. I really like how In the game you can upgrade your defenses and troops FAST. In comparison to clash of clans it takes like 6 months to upgrade a troop etc… lol I’m being sarcastic but people who play clash of clans know what I mean. I will try the other Kingdom Rush different versions soon.

Raven Knight: my actual favorite app. used to play this game on a game site and they have updated heavily since then, its probably been 3 or so years since i played and the shop and tap elements are properly utilized because they transition well from the desktop version. highly recommend, you can pause gameplay and there are no ads. DLC isn’t needed, but they do enhance gameplay in many ways.

Jacksepticeye is my mom: I really enjoy this game and have been playing it for a long time. It’s one of, if not the best tower defense game out there. I’ve taken the time to beat every stage and mode on every difficulty multiple times, and it’s really very fun. The art style is very nice and I have a great appreciation for it. I definitely advise playing it if you are into strategic or tactical games. It has a great deal of simplicity and is easy to understand, but enough behind the scenes to make it challenging. 5 stars.

marcos fujimoto: The Best Tower Defence game I’ve ever played. I bought the Desktop version and the mobile version. In fact, I bought all the games from Irongames and I must say none have been less than fantastic so far. Keep up the good work and I’ll keep up on buying new games.

Arian Hernandez: This game, is so good, without a doubt. At first, the stages are pretty simple and you feel pretty bored. Then the game hits you with some intense battles and it provides so much stress but so much fun. Overall, this is a great game with only a few annoying aspects. For example, I wish it saved what wave you were on in a match so that you could exit out instead of having to pause and leave the game open.

ITS ME DIO: This game has been very fun the music is good the game is addicting and I beat it 100% without spending any of the actual money I would recommend this game to anyone. but doing all the levels over again to unlock stars and on different difficulty did get boring so I actually give it 4.5 stars. still very enjoyable game hope you enjoy it too:)

valentin neacsu: one of the best games I have played lately. the fact that you don’t have any ads and you don’t have to buy anything in order to advance is a definite plus. the difficulty level of the maps is also very good. one small thing that could be tweaked…the possibility to listen to your own music during playtime.

Stephanie Kirby: This game is the best tower defense game I have ever played. It has so many enemies, you have to have a strategy to win, and it’s just a fun game overall.

Download APK

Additional Information

App Download Version 3.1 Last Updated January 29, 2018 Apk Size 28 MB Offered By Ironhide Game Studio Category Strategy Content Rating Rated for 7+ Support Android Version Android 4.0 and up Installs 10,000,000+ Play Store Available

Kingdom Rush Game Permissions

This app has access to:

Photos/Media/Files

read the contents of your USB storage

modify or delete the contents of your USB storage

Wi-Fi connection information

view Wi-Fi connections

view network connections

full network access

control vibration

prevent device from sleeping

Google Play license check

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terryblount · 6 years ago

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Call of Cthulhu Review

“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn” (“In his house at R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.”). H. P. Lovecraft’

No, this is not a first person shooter starring the lord Cthulhu; trying to save the world in the name of duty. It is a very different game, a much slower game so some will love it and some will hate it. I did neither of those… I just fell asleep in my chair… twice.

Madness? More like sadness

It’s been almost two decades since I read the books by the world famous writer H.P. Lovecraft. Now, after 90 years, we have Call of Cthulhu the official game. To be honest I was pretty excited when I first heard the announcement. I was expecting something a bit different, something like an open-world-ish adventure game with a heavy focus on the protagonist’s mental state. Now while the devs said it will be a survival/horror rpg investigation game – and it is – in my eyes it looks like a glorified walking simulator. While this is just my opinion I do not necessarily say the game is bad. It isn’t great but I had fun playing it, even if some parts did put me to sleep.

Ah yes, sleeping pills, how original. Why not painkillers? Max would approve!

Call of Cthulhu tells the story of Edward Pierce; an alcoholic WWI veteran working as a private investigator who is called to investigate (obviously) the death of a wealthy family at the remote island Darkwater near Boston.

This is the best vacation spot ever, said no one ever

The game is not very pretty, and some assets – like the 3D models – look awful. At least it runs fine with everything maxed. There were some places that dropped the frames below sixty but thankfully that was a rare occurrence. If you want a more detailed read regarding the game’s performance go ahead and check our analysis.

Seriously, with a face like that a shotgun is just overkill

I really have almost nothing to say about the music or sound effects. Nothing really stuck in mind and the soundtrack was absolutely forgettable. Sounds are basic at best, and the sound of walking in high heels must be the most unrealistic one yet I’ve heard in a video game.

The voice acting is a mixed bag. While the main characters are mostly OK, the rest are not and for some reason I find Pierce’s voice a bit boring and emotionless. Even when there is slight bits of emotion in one voiced line, the transition to the next line can be in a completely different emotion state. He can scream his lungs out one second and the next second sounds as cool and relaxed as possible (like having drinks at the beach). I did not like the voice acting in Vampyr and I don’t like it here, though this is a personal preference and if any of you enjoyed Vampyr you have nothing to be concerned about; the protagonist sounds absolutely the same.

Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you

Now while the world is dark and creepy, just as it should be, it is not scary. I usually do not play horror games and this is not a horror game. Dark Corners of the Earth scared me a whole lot more than this. Call of Cthulhu does have a few sequences which produce a bit of anxiety but never fear. And how it can create fear when the game uses checkpoints? Though I do have to say that I really appreciated them.

Seriously lady get a dog, a cat or something.

Speaking of checkpoints and difficulty, one part where you do the classic hide & seek from something sinister and extremely angry “thing” that wants to wear your face for Halloween was fun, hard and stupid at the same time. That is because you have a limited time and knowledge to choose the right tool for the job from many other tools that look alike, so every time you choose wrong you will probably have to replay the sequence which, once again, destroys the flow and immersion of the game. Thankfully these kind of sequences are few. But hey, at least the game does feature skippable cutscenes.

Who in their right mind hangs such an unbelievably disturbing butt ugly painting? Oh wait…

The investigation gameplay is basic. You find clues by collecting items and speaking with specific NPCs. In some scenes you can initiate an “ability” which lets you, in a way, to reconstruct the past scene. Honestly, this mechanic is completely silly and out of place since the game never explains why you are able to see what you see the way you see it. It reminds me the female detective from the Netflix TV series “Luke Cage”. Yeah sure it looks cool and cinematic but it makes no sense.

Psychic Detective: The Cthulhu Incident

There is also a skill-tree with several skills to choose from and each one of them increases specific attributes. To be honest though, I did not fully understand how you gain the ability points. I think it is predefined how many points you get and when you get them, but I might be mistaken. The most important skill, I believe, is the one which unlocks extra dialogue options but unfortunately the dialogues do not blend naturally in the conversation and feel weird. Actually, many dialogue options do not feel natural and do not match the flow of the conversation.

Cthulhu my lord grant me power to level up

You might know the devs from previous titles like Styx, Space Hulk or the recently announced Werewolf, which I really hope to be better than this or their previous released games. The whole game is around eight to ten hours depending on how much investigation you are willing to do and costs forty-five dollars.

Finding something like this in the creepiest place around makes it even more disturbing

This isn’t a bad game, though it feels a bit rushed. There are good things in it but the presentation is lacking and if there was a better balance between the investigation and action parts, the game could have been better by keeping you on your toes during the whole playthrough… or at least a bit more interested along the way. My recommendation is to wait for a price drop, even if you are a fan of the books and the Cthulhu mythos in general. After all, Christmas sales are coming really soon.

Story

World

Pace

Music

Visuals

Playtime: 8+ hours total

Computer Specs: Case: CoolerMaster Cosmos S CPU: i5 4440 GPU: MSI 960GTX 4GB Mobo: MSI B85-G41 RAM: G.Skill Ripjaws X 8GB HDD: Crucial 275GB MX300 PSU: Thermaltake Toughpower 1200W OS: Win7 Monitor: LG 23″ 1080p

Call of Cthulhu Review published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

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reesesxxpieces-blog · 7 years ago

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With just two days before vacation, Spencer was optimistic about the weekend before her. She and John had scored a night alone together only once or twice since Rhys was born in May of 2016 and it was high time she and John found who /they/ were once again, outside of the boys, just the two of them. She knew the trip was going to take its toll on the both of them as they were so heavily vested in their boys and the family dynamic, but at the end of the day, none of it worked if they weren’t connected to one another entirely on a different plane than what parenthood provided. Before Rhys was born, it was just the two of them and their dog, Scrappy. But within a few weeks of Rhys’ birth, they brought River to live with them and went from just the two of them to the four of them nearly overnight. The both of them adjusted to things quickly and found a seamless pattern to it all, juggling life with two kids under two quite well, considering. But now it was time to recharge.

Or so she thought.

Just after breakfast on Tuesday morning, Spencer was standing in the kitchen, washing the dishes while John changed diapers and got Rhys down for a nap. River would get his time with his dad while Spencer cleaned up the breakfast mess, then they’d be at it again for lunch when both boys would take a nap and she and John would have about two hours to recharge their own batteries before the evening rush. Evenings were her favorite. This was when they’d have dinner, play outside, go for a walk, watch television together, read books. It was almost like the end of the day held the most magic for Spencer and she couldn’t wait for it each and every day. But as she dried off the last dish from breakfast, her cell phone rang on the end of the counter. Not expecting it to be much of anything, figuring only that maybe Judas had finally gotten around to calling her about the plans for the weekend, she made her way to the phone to find a name displayed on the caller I.d. that she did not expect. ‘Sergeant Matthews.’ She drew a deep breath, prepared to hear on the other end that he needed her in for yet /another/ round of interrogation.

“Sergeant Matthews,” she stated in greeting, clearing her voice just after his name, looking over at John there in the living room with the boys on the sofa where diaper changing was taking place before Rhys would go upstairs for his nap, fully expecting to hear that interrogation was needed, again. That she’d be asked a sea of questions that she would repeat the same answers to over, and over, and over again. Already planning on telling him she couldn’t come in until after 1 p.m. for the interrogation and that she had to be out by 3 p.m.

’Detective Reese—James,’ he offered, correcting himself as almost two years later, half the department still struggled with her name change. ‘I have some news for you in the case of your husband’s attempted murder. You have been cleared of all charges and are expected to report back to work this evening.’ His voice was sharp and professional, just as it always was. Unfeeling without congratulations or apology for the hell he had put her through over the last eight months. Spencer swallowed hard, not sure she’d heard him right, and yet it was right there.

“This evening? But that’s not my normal shift,” she offered, surprise there in her voice as she tried to understand what was going on while not entirely sure how she felt about it at all. If she was to be reinstated, she’d expected that it would be on her shift with her partner, not running beat in the middle of the night. Unless this was some way to make her pay for being out when it wasn’t her doing in the slightest, she wasn’t sure, but she was no grunt cop and she wasn’t about to start now. If she was losing her shift and her partner, then she’d be damn near willing to lose the badge as well.

‘I realize. Turns out we’re short tonight and we’ll need you to pull the overnight and a partial tomorrow. You’ll be with Wilcox tonight and Ryan in the morning and then return to your regular shifts Thursday with Detective Ryan.’ Hearing him explain things to her, he seemed less than impressed that the woman would throw her weight in the manner that she did, yet he’d answer her just as professionally as he had a moment before, laying out for her how it would be and what would happen here without any fear that the woman would fire back. It was take it or leave it and he didn’t much care what the wife of a criminal chose to do here as his trust in her was weak at best and he still didn’t consider her completely innocent in the case that had taken up too much of the department’s resources for that time period.

“Sergeant, with all due respect, Thursday is out of the question for me. I have plans to go out of town this weekend and they’re nonrefundable.”

��Then I suggest you buy vacation time from one of your coworkers. I didn’t see a request on my desk, therefore you are not granted time off. Your shift starts at five, Detective. Don’t be late.’

A moment later, the line went dead before Spencer could say a word. She drew the phone down from her ear, placing it on the counter as she stood frozen for a moment, needing to think over what just happened. She drew a slow breath, replaying parts of the conversation in her head as she worked it through. The case had broke. All charges that were previously split between herself and her father were now pinned solely on him. She hadn’t been too worried that they’d get her for anything as she knew she had no involvement in what had happened to John almost a year prior, but she didn’t realize she’d be reinstated and put back to work so promptly either.

Meeting John’s eyes from behind the kitchen counter, looking out towards him there in the living room as Rhys’ diaper change was completed, she wasn’t sure how much of that conversation John had heard and how much of it he was unable to hear over River and his Paw Patrol, but either way, the words had to come from her. She came around the counter, making her way to the sofa where she sat down, feeling slightly weak from the blow of it all. She knew she could buy the time off for the weekend as most detectives would be willing to trade double pay for the extra shifts and she imagined that John could take care of it for them if she didn’t have enough in her own savings, but that wasn’t the part that was sticking her. It was the rest.

Sitting down beside him, her eyes said it all as it wasn’t another call asking her to come in for more interrogation that usually sent the woman into an angry rant. This was something else entirely. This wasn’t altering the plans for the afternoon. This was altering the plans indefinitely. On one hand, she knew they needed the money. She knew this was who she was and she knew there were benefits to having her on the inside to keep John on the outside, but even then, it didn’t seem real to her. Slipping her hand over to John’s thigh, she leaned back against the sofa as River spotted her there in the living room. ‘Ma!’ he cried out, not adding the typical ‘Ma Spen’ that had been coming forth from the boy for the last couple of months. Tears welled in her eyes as the boy called her just ‘Ma’ for the first time as she drew him up into her lap. Running her fingertips through the back of his hair that needed a trim, she looked over at John, hit with the emotion of River’s expression as she pressed her lips to the top of his head.

For several minutes, she sat in silence, breathing in the boy that sat on her lap with her lips pressed to the top of his head, feeling entirely connected to the child as she always had, yet it was somehow amplified with the smallest alteration in his speech. Nearly twenty minutes passed between the time she had sat down and now before she’d finally meet John’s eyes again. Knowing he knew there was something there, but not knowing yet what it was, she couldn’t find the words to tell him that she’d be returning to work that night. She couldn’t figure out how she was going to tell him or River that she wouldn’t be home for dinner or a walk or outside playtime. She wouldn’t be able to read the boys bedtime stories or tuck them in or even crawl into bed with John. She wouldn’t be able to do pancakes in the morning and dance with River to Paw Patrol. She wouldn’t be able to get up with the boys in the middle of the night for Rhys’ midnight snack or River’s 3 a.m. need for his show in her computer. She didn’t know how to say any of it after having all of it for the last eight months or so.

With her hand to John’s thigh, she tightened her grip slightly, meeting his eyes with tears in her own. Rhys had since fallen asleep on John’s shoulder and River was leaning into Spencer’s chest like he knew something was wrong there. She drew another slow breath, in through her nose as she attempted to find the words that just weren’t coming to her. Swallowing hard, there was no other way to say it than to just say it.

“I’m reinstated. I report tonight at 5 and I’ll be pulling one and a half. Home by lunchtime tomorrow.”

Not only did this mean she missed everything, but it meant that she was put into the line of fire for the first time since their son was born, for the first time since they got custody of River. It meant she couldn’t promise she’d be home by lunch tomorrow. It meant she couldn’t make a single promise ever again for anything. It meant that tomorrow might never come. Biting at her lower lip, she’d never felt fear in her job, not ever. She’d never felt that feeling of ‘what if’ in regards to something happening. She’d never felt sorry that she had to go to work before. But now, she was feeling it all. Sadness, fear, and most of all, guilt.

John James John James Admittedly, there wasn’t a whole lot he was hearing over the soundtrack of their living room. Between the babbling sing along of his eldest and the actual backing track on the TV. The best he could pick up was the tension in her voice. The woman had a stare like hooks digging into his skin and he swore he could feel that glance through walls. Getting his onesie secured, the little boy was all legs as his father set him back upright and watch him take off like a wound up toy too long restrained. Running towards the television where he was for a moment entranced as he watched his wife take a seat beside him. Feeling her to his thigh as his own calloused digits would skim the back of her fingers. Parting his lips to speak before River beat him to it and called her by name. Eyes back to the boy as the realization of it all didn’t quite him. He knew River viewed her as mother. The only one he had really known as Nat wasn’t exactly the maternal type. Maybe once. Back in the day before she had went and fucked it all up. After that though, John could imagine River only reminded her of her fuck up. Staring back at her with his father’s eyes. There wasn’t a whole lot of good John could sing of when it came to his ex but the woman was at least realistic and intelligent enough to give him a fighting chance with someone else. To give the little boy who was all smiles and sunshine what he deserved; the opportunity to be loved. He had no doubt that he was very much loved with Spence as anyone could see that and it reflected in the way he had taken to her.

Yet, upon watching he reaction, it became more evident as to what she was feeling. The boy seated comfortably on her lap as if he had always been there. “He loves you.” He reminded Spence before letting the two had their moment, gently tapping a fingertip to River’s nose prompting a smile. Quick to flash that new enamel. Letting the two have their moment which happened to last for many which left him merely watching Paw Patrol. Again. Before she’d finally speak and he was all too quick to bring his attention back to her entirely. Having found it all too easy to soothe Rhys off as he recognized his father’s chest as his own personal rest area.

Inhaling evenly as this news as both of them knew it was to happen eventually. Hardly needing to ask how she felt about it and it wasn’t out of rudeness that he didn’t ask. It was the fact that he could see it all over her. Standing up slowly with Rhys in tow, he was walking over towards his swing where he lowered the little guy into it. Strapping him in before turning it on. Getting his free hand as he returned to the couch having freed up his hands.

“and you’re not happy.” He predicted, part of him having wondered whether the woman would rejoice to this news or was she too taken with this side of life.

Spencer James When she was put on administrative leave the same week she was due to return from maternity leave, she had mixed emotions about it. On the one hand, it gave her more time at home with John and the boys which was much needed given their circumstances at the time and for that, she was grateful. On the other hand, she was on administrative leave pending charges for potentially conspiring with a man standing trial for the attempted murder of her own husband. It was a large pill to swallow and her throat couldn’t withstand the mass. Although she knew John believed that she had nothing to do with the incident that took place outside of the hospital one cool May morning, she also knew that there were those that believed it was possible. She couldn’t quite shake the feeling that there were those that would stare her down, looking to her as she passed with John and the boys, somehow knowing what had her off work for the last eight months. It wasn’t a secret that she was being looked into though she was sure there were many that already had a conviction hanging over her head when she hadn’t even been charged yet.

Regardless, her emotions on the matter were mixed. Financial obligations were piling up. Things were about to get bad if something didn’t happen there as the ‘account’ she’d kept her own money in, dirty money that she had tucked away, was about to run out. A box deemed as ‘high school memories’ housed the financial wealth that had been extracted from criminals all over Dallas and Philadelphia, paying her to look the other way. Paying her to get charges reduced. Paying her to shut her mouth. She was good at it and though the need for the extra income had passed nearly two years before, her addiction to the take had not. She needed it. She felt as though she had power in it. That she had a say so in what was alright and what was not. That she was probably doing more good in what she was actually doing than ninety percent of the cops who were doing what they were doing in locking them up for the two days something would stick and then turning them back out. At least in the manner she was doing it, they were more likely to think twice about parting with their cash as parting with their time wasn’t nearly as valuable to them.

But as she sat there, telling John that it was time for her to return to it, that she’d been cleared, she knew she should have been elated. She should have been ready to jump back into the life that had been her entire life. The life that she’d given up a relationship for. The life that she’d held so much value in. The life that she swore to give her own to. But things were different now. It wasn’t just her anymore. It wasn’t even just her and John. As Rhys laid asleep in his swing and River danced in front of the television, there were two tiny people that would not understand if she didn’t come home from work the next day. Two tiny people that had never known the woman to be anywhere but with them and anything but their mom. There were two tiny people who would never know life the same if she were to be gone from it. And yet that was exactly what had to happen here. As John asked her if she was not happy about it, he already knew the answer to this. Maybe he knew it better than she did. She wasn’t sure if she’d describe herself as unhappy as it meant that the threat of charges were gone, but more importantly it meant the department would not find anything that would lead them to her involvement in the death of a druggie nearly two years prior, nor a blonde that had gone missing a year before. Twice she had blood on her hands, once more prevalently than the other, and if the investigation was closed, it meant she could breathe more easily on the things they could have found.

“I don’t know,” she confessed softly turning her eyes towards his. “I want to be,” she added a moment later as that was true. She wanted to be thrilled as if she’d gotten her job back, something she connected with, somewhere she knew she belonged, her purpose in life. But her purpose had changed. A moment before with River on her lap had proven just how far it had all come. ‘Ma Spen’ was gone and now she was just ‘Ma’. With his adoption hearing only days away until that fact would be true on paper as well as in reality, things were different now. A little boy fast asleep in his swing relied on the fact that when he opened his eyes, his mother and father would be there. How was she supposed to kiss them and go to work? How was she supposed to slip off out the door and just know that everything would be okay? Parents worked every day. Some in offices and others under the badge. They kissed their children and spouse and told them that they would be back at a certain time. But every now and then, two officers would show up at a door with words of apology on their tongues that could never quite begin to cover the sounds of their shattering hearts. It was a fate she couldn’t imagine happening to John, to the boys. Knowing John’s reaction would be violence. Knowing the boys wouldn’t understand, nor could they be explained to. It was a heavy cross to bear and she wasn’t sure any of their shoulders were strong enough for it.

“I haven’t fired a gun in a year,” she began, finding her way to express her fears at just the job itself as she attempted to take take her own emotions out of the mix, though it was her emotions driving all of it. “I haven’t run in sixteen months. I haven’t built up to the cold and the heat or adjusted as the temperature did. I haven’t had authority in my voice in I don’t even know how long. I haven’t spent a moment without you or the boys in eight months,” she concluded, her emotions slipping through there in that last sentence as it was the place it all got foggy for her. Not only did she know she was not in shape for what the job required of her, but she couldn’t walk out the door with her heart as she once had. Her heart was there, in that living room, beside her, in a swing, dancing to the television. Somewhere along the line, she had become a stay at home mom without a single other care in the world and now she’d have to go out into that world she’d lost touch with and hope it didn’t chew her up and spit her out on the stone streets of a city known for its brotherly love. She’d be boots on the ground in the depths of the night, in places that John would never want his wife to be. She’d be in dark shadows, running into situations where everyone else was running out. She’d be in the line of fire, not because she had to be, not because someone forced her hand, but because that was the life she chose to lead. “I’m scared,” she ultimately confessed, the weight of the two words breaking beneath her voice as she lowered her eyes to her own lap, feeling that fear radiating through her on a level she’d only known one other time in her life, when John was in the hospital. Now, she felt as though she was surely committing him to long days and long nights, the fear of the phone ringing or a knock at the door. She was telling him, without saying the words, that he may just be raising two boys on his own and they were both too little to even remember who she was or what she felt like, smelled like, and the sound of her voice. Her thoughts swirled around in her head, prompting an ache in the pit of her stomach as she doubled over on the sofa, her face finding her knees as she linked her hands beneath her thighs. Giving in to that fear and the confession of it as she faced the fact that she had eight hours to be ready for what would be a nineteen hour shift.

-February 21, 2017

#tildeath #2017 #statplay

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