#some are still just sitting there and I meant to post them but completely forgot :(

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

my computer crashed while trying to send you the entire bee movie script sorry

tbh your computer was just doing what it had to do to survive

no device deserves that :(

[sailoryooons]

hiiii :3 i’m a VERY silent reader (i’m terrified of my irls finding me on this god forsaken app) but i just love your writings so much so i had to participate in the agust event!!!!

childhood bffs yoongi x reader smut where they’re definitely probably too close, way closer than bffs should be anyways. reader goes to yoongi one night complaining bc no matter what she does, she just can’t cum! good thing yoongi’s actions speak louder than words <3

pls pls pls get totally creative w this, i love ur brain sm and i love seeing what you come up with!!!

❀ Pairing: Yoongi x f. reader

❀ Summary: Yoongi has always been your closest friend, but it’s always been a little closer than everyone else. He takes it one step further, offering to address a silly little problem for you. 

❀ Word Count: 2,320

❀ Genre: Friends to something more, PWP 

❀ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately. 

❀ Warnings: Explicit language, some feelings of insecurity but like barely, talking about orgasm struggles, explicit sexual content including vaginal fingering, nipple stimulation, a hint of choking, a lot of sucking on neck/throat, nipple play, mostly reader getting finger blasted sdfnodsifgj, reader is completely naked and Yoongi is still clothed, mentions of oral (f. receiving), a little bit of cum eating

❀ Published: August 23, 2022

❀ A/N: Okay so this was supposed to be posted way earlier than 10:30 PM EST but I completely forgot I had this sitting and waiting to post (it was a long day) but HERE IT IS!!! I love the idea of Yoongi casually just being like yeah I’ll get you to come or whatever, let’s do it sdfjdfogijdfrgi thank you so much for being a reader and requesting something - silent or talkative reader, I'm just happy you're here and that you enjoy my writing! Thank you for being here.

❀ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.

| Masterlist | Ask | Hali’s Happy Agust |

“You what?” You ask Yoongi, breath shaky. “Don’t play around like that, it’s not very funny.”

It’s rare that you can’t tell if Yoongi is making a joke or not. Though his humor is quiet like the night sky outside and soft like the sweater he’s draped in, you know Yoongi. Know him well enough to detect the subtle notes of a joke in his hushed words, know to listen amid the loud voices of your friends for a quiet jest, spoken softly just for you. 

Now, though, you’re a little unsure. 

Everyone has said for years that your friendship with Yoongi is too friendly. You vehemently disagree: affection between friends should be encouraged and treasured. Being able to platonically hold hands, share beds, and offer physical affection isn’t something reserved for lovers. You adamantly believe in this - always have. 

But… it is different with Yoongi. You think about how you always hold Taehyung’s hand, how you let him curl into your side during movies, or how he nests in your bed when he grows too tired for parties. Taehyung is particularly affectionate, but it does feel different.

“Let me make you cum,” Yoongi repeats, as though he’s reflecting on the weather outside. He’s on his knees on the couch next to you, hands resting in his lap. “No one should have to go through their adult life without partners making them cum.”

You roll your eyes. “Plenty of people can’t cum for a number of reasons, Yoongi.”

“Okay, that’s fair. Let me try anyway.”

“Why do you care?”

He tilts his head. “Because you’re you. And I’m good at making people cum. It feels like an obvious answer.”

“We’re best friends.”

“My point exactly. Look, if I’ve made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry, I-”

You shake your head and wave him off. “No, I just. Didn’t expect the offer and it made me nervous.”

“Nervous how?”

Letting out a long exhale, you rest your head on the back of the couch and look up at the ceiling. Your warm mug of tea is abandoned and the drama on the TV plays on, silent in the background. You chew the inside of your cheek, wondering how to string your words together.��

With anyone else, you’d feel embarrassed or nervous. With Yoongi, your anxiety is significantly less. Even if you speak the words on your mind, you’re sure it won’t change things. You’ve been through your fair share of oversharing, never shamed, never turned away. 

It’s how you started this conversation about your sex life in the first place.

So you decide to be honest. 

“Nervous like, I’m into it and I want to try it out, but I don’t want it to make our dynamic weird.” 

“It’s not weird for me if it’s not weird for you. I’m sorry I offered so bluntly.” 

Your lips twitch and you reach out, taking his hand in yours. Yoongi has beautiful hands. Long fingers with knobby knuckles, blunt nails and gentle fingertips, calloused palms. You’ve mapped the structure of his palm hundreds of times, know the shapes of the lines on them, and watched a palm reader chart the stars on them. 

Yoongi’s hands are where you’re safest. 

“Don’t apologize, you didn’t violate a boundary.” His mouth is soft when he smiles, his eyes are dark when he watches you. He’s so pretty. A soft thing with round cheeks, kind eyes, and gentle smiles. Quiet. Confident. “You really wanna try?” 

Yoongi’s grin turns feral. “I do.” 

“Alright.”

It starts with him leading you to your room, hand holding yours gently. It starts with a shy smile and hungry eyes, Yoongi watching you as you sit on the edge of your bed, unsure and giving him a questioning gaze. His hands are confident when he makes you move backward, shuffling until you’re in the middle of your bed on your back. 

Yoongi joins you on the bed, kneeling next to you. He watches as he reaches out, brushing his fingertips over your thigh. His touch is featherlight, making you shiver. He doesn’t do anything but this at first, tracing the shape of your clothed hip, up the sides of your rips, under the curve of your breast. 

Your breath catches, fixated on Yoongi as he outlines your curves. His eyes flicker to your face, drinking in your expression when he draws his fingers over the swell of your tits and over your nipple. The stimulation is barely there but it spikes. You inhale sharply and he smirks as he keeps going, brushing over your throat, and under your jaw, feeling your pulse. 

“Pretty,” he murmurs. He takes you by the chin, thumb pulling at your bottom lip. “What do you like?” 

It’s hard to answer. Yoongi’s hand leaves your mouth and trails back down to your neck. He wraps his fingers around your throat but doesn’t squeeze. It’s a barely-there ghost of a grip and he raises his eyebrow. You nod, unable to string together an answer. He squeezes gently before continuing his exploration downward again.

Your tongue is heavy in your mouth. This Yoongi is one you’ve never experienced. He’s quiet as always, but the silence is heavier. Pointed. He bites his bottom lip a little as he passes your stomach and dips between your legs, pressing against your clothed cunt. 

“Yeah?” he asks when your hips twice. 

You feel heat lick through you, pooling between your legs. Your fingers twist in the sheets in anticipation. Heat pulses from your pussy, panties getting damp and Yoongi’s has barely touched you. It’s the way he looks at you, the way he presses his thumb against your swelling clit. 

“Yeah,” you breathe, voice watery. “I’m pretty into it.”

“I can tell,” he teases. He leans down, keeping one hand between your legs, gently applying pressure and circling his fingers as his lips search for yours. “You’re already wet, huh?”

Yoongi doesn’t let you answer. His lips capture yours and you sigh into his mouth, hands coming up automatically to wrap around his neck. It feels so natural. His hair is soft between your fingers and his mouth is warm, tasting faintly of the peppermint tea he drank earlier. 

Kissing Yoongi is heady. He controls the kiss, keeping the pace slow as if he’s savoring you. Your thighs close around his hand as he presses through your shorts harder. When he introduces his tongue to your mouth, it takes your breath away. 

Breaking the kiss, Yoongi mouths at your jaw. You arch into him, running your hands down his chest, feeling the warm skin beneath his sweater. One of your hands goes to his wrist pressed into the mattress by your head, holding onto him, the other goes to his hand between your legs, laying your fingers on his, pressing.

He hums, the buzz of his mouth against the underside of your jaw maddening. Together, you peel your shorts down your legs. Yoongi shuffles closer to you, your thigh pressed against his as he continues to kneel next to you, heat radiating from his body.

Yoongi traces the trim of your panties. You watch him, your mouth parted as you breathe unsteadily. He is solely focused on you. You can feel the slick sticking to the silk, watching as he drags a finger near your hip, his touch tantalizing. 

Maybe this is what you were missing. Yoongi takes his time, dragging out the feeling of his hands on you. Works you up as he removes your shirt and bra next. You feel drunk on him already, nipples pebbling in the cold room. His nails scratch lightly up your stomach to your chest. He smirks as he traces slow, lazy circles around your nipples, eyes glancing up to watch your expression. 

“Why?” you ask, hissing at the light stimulation. You want more. 

“No one is in a rush,” he mutters. His voice is low, raspy. “Are you?”

When you shake your head, he smiles, pinching a nipple between two fingers. A curse drips from your mouth and your hips buck. You close your eyes, letting Yoongi tweak one nipple then the other, letting him guide you through. The stimulation feels good - otherworldly, even, when he bends down and flicks the tip of his tongue over one playfully. 

“No,” you sigh. “Not in a rush.” 

His teeth scrape your sensitive bud and your head rolls back, pushing into the mattress. “Good. Relax, let me take care of you.”

Tension melts out of your body. You didn’t realize you were so tense until he pointed it out. You let yourself sink into the feeling of Yoongi sucking gently on the peak of your right nipple while his thumb brushes back and forth over the other. The stimulation feels good, your head lolling to the side as you breath shakily. 

Yoongi is slow. He takes his time running his tongue across your chest, air cooling is spit as he goes. You squeeze your thighs together, feeling your cunt throb for attention. He notices, nipping his way back up to your neck as he slides a hand down between your legs, pressing your panties into your sticky folds. 

“Fuck,” you sigh. He nuzzles your neck, tongue swipe over the sensitive spot of your throat. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this fucking wet.”

“Good.” His words are muffle as he sucks at your tender skin. You angle your head, giving him better access. It feels like the bed is spinning wildly, a compass lost in an electromagnetic field. “Tell me at any point if something doesn’t feel good or you want something else.”

“Okay.”

You open your eyes and smile. It’s so Yoongi to make sure he asks what you want. So Yoongi to remind you that he’s here for you. That as he slips his hand under the waistband of your underwear, he’s determined to provide for you. To get you off. 

A moan slips out of your mouth when it comes into contact with your dripping cunt. He avoids touching your clit directly, fingers spreading your folds as he teases your hole experimentally. It feels good - whether it’s because it’s Yoongi or because you’re already worked up, it doesn’t matter. 

Yoongi circles around your clit deftly a few times, making your hips wiggle. A tingle settles in your stomach, fingers twisting in the sheets.

When he retracts his hand, you open your eyes. He watches you steadily lifting his fingers to pop them between pink lips and oh. He hums around his fingers, making a show of rolling his tongue around them, tasting your juices. He slides them slowly out of his mouth, hypnotizing you. 

“Mmm.” He grins and reaches to slide your underwear off. “Can’t wait to eat you out. First, I’m gonna make you come.”

Never in your friendship would you have imagined Yoongi to be like this. It would be a lie to say you’d never thought what it might be like to have him like this, his hands peeling your underwear off. The scrap of the silk on your legs is heady, every part of your skin extra sensitive. 

Lips parts, eyes fixed, you watch him toss the underwear to the side. He shuffles so that one knee rests against his leg, the other spread flat on the mattress for him. There is a split second where you feel vulnerable, spread open for him to see how much of a mess you are at the barely stimulation. You start to close your leg but Yoongi shakes his head, hand brushing down your inner thigh.

Slowly, Yoongi drags a finger up your slit to your entrance, massaging lightly with his finger before sinking in slowly. You let out a long breath, your walls clenching around his finger. It doesn’t provide a lot of stretch, but it feels good, the pad of his pointer stroking your inner wall. 

At first, Yoongi is slow. Familiarizing himself with your warm, wet heat. He picks up the pace then, stroking deeply, ensuring to push up against that soft spot inside of you. It drives you crazy. Crazier, still, when he leans down and attaches his mouth to yours, tongues tangling as he fingers you leisurely. 

“Fuck,” Yoongi mutters against your mouth. “You’ve got a wet little cunt.”

“Not usually,” you admit. You card your fingers through his hair, pulling at the ends a little. Your entire body is radiating with heat, sweat slicking your skin. “Fuck, it feels good. Doesn’t usually.”

“No?” he sucks harshly at your jaw and your eyes flutter shut. 

“No. Usually they jack hammer their fingers into my pussy.”

His laugh is hot on your skin. “Nah, just gotta find the spot.” 

Yoongi has found the spot. Makes it ten times better when he adds another finger, giving you something more substantial to grip on. Your cunt grips his fingers like a vice, slick sounds filling the room. He adds his thumb to the mix, pressing down on your clit. You gasp his name, hips bucking against his hand, dripping into his palm.

“Fuck yeah,” he grunts. “Fuck yourself onto my hand the way you like.” 

Together, you work yourself up to the edge. Yoongi doesn’t pause for a moment, doesn’t complain that his wrist is tired, doesn’t stop tonguing your sensitive spot on your neck until you’re clinging to him, coming around his fingers in a wet, messy squelch. 

You shake as he thrusts his fingers a few more times, the slopping sound of his palms smacking your pussy intoxicating. You feel like liquid, blurry at the edges and warm. 

“Holy shit,” you sigh. Yoongi pulls his fingers from your hole and you immediately squirm, hating the empty feeling. “That was just from your fingers?”

“Uh huh.” You watch as he licks his fingers again, grinning around them. Your stomach flips, cunt still leaking, begging for more. “Now watch what happens when I eat this pussy.” 

[vhagarlovebot]

content warnings: hurt/comfort.

note: hello, hello ! here’s another one of the works i posted on my old blog—not my favorite but i thought about sharing it either way. i edited it the best i could, so you’re probably still going to see some very poor grammar and it’s because i’d just started writing in english and because of that it is completely normal for me to still have problems writing in a language that isn’t mine. i really hope you enjoy! reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated.

it’s past midnight when you decide to go to aemond’s chambers, he had agreed to come to yours a few hours before but apparently forgot. in other circumstances you won’t mind, but you’ve missed him all day. seeing him walk through the corridors without being able to touch his hand or simply smile at him, afraid someone would say something that will get you in trouble.

there’s no one in sight as you quickly cross the hallways, relaxing when you’re in front of his door. there’s light coming from under it, so you know he’s awake.

when you open the big doors, you find him sitting at the foot of the bed only with his pants on. “hi.” you whisper when a minute has passed and he hasn’t turn around or acknowledged your presence. “i was waiting for you.” you walk slowly towards him, suddenly worried.

“you didn’t think that maybe i didn’t want to go?” his voice is low and hoarse, still looking at the floor.

you immediately stop after hearing that, not really hurt by his words, you know he doesn’t mean them. there might be something else bothering him, and you know what it is the second he stretches and grunts, his head hanging down.

“oh, love.” you whine, almost running to him. you kneel in front of him, his eyes hidden behind his long, silver hair. you brush it out of his face, finally meeting that breathtaking violet eye. “hello, my prince.”

“‘m sorry.” aemond says with a small and tired smile. he caresses your cheek with his thumb, eye never leaving yours. “i didn’t meant to talk to you like that.”

“mmh, i know.” you see how tired he is just by looking at his face, he can barely keep his eye open. he is always doing too much, but apparently that’s never enough to his family. “you need to rest. would you like a massage? does that sounds good?” you stand up, moving your face closer to his so you can kiss his forehead.

you don’t wait for his answer, already climbing on the bed and sitting behind him, legs on either side of his body. you stare at his back for a few seconds, just seeing how delicate and smooth his skin looks like… how fragile aemond targaryen really is.

you gently massage his shoulders and back, spending a little more time in those places that make him shudder, loving the way he leans into your touch. since you’ve known him, aemond’s not one to ask for help, so this moment means a lot to you.

you know aemond hides a lot of things, some big ones, but at this point in life you don’t care what those things are; you’d do anything for him. anything if that means you can spend the rest of your life by his side.

“you’re an angel.” at first you think you heard him wrong, but he says it again and your heart skips a beat.

you blush, kissing his shoulder blades. “i think that’s you.”

“no, really, you’re always so kind to me and i’m… i’m a monster.” you stop what you’re doing, lifting his chin up and turning his head so he can look at you. “you’re not a monster,” you make sure to emphasize each word. “and you never will be, you hear me? no matter how many times you say that about yourself, i'm always going to be here to remind you of it.” aemond stares intensely at you, smile on his face that says everything you need to know without actually saying it.

"you’re all i care about." he leans in to kiss you and you swear the world stops the moment your lips meet. his lips are gentle and soft against yours, his touch on your cheek grounding you.

when you pull away, his violet eye flutters open. "hi." he whispers, a drunken smile stealing your heart.

"come here." you move to lie down against the pillows, and he follows lying down next to you, his back to your chest. aemond is so much larger than you, so you try to hug him against your chest, pressing kisses against his forehead. and he doesn't need to ask for you to start stroking his hair, he also doesn’t need to say how safe he feels in your arms.

[writingforstraykids]

You guys are my world

Pairing: Chanlix x femReader (mention of OT8)

Word Count: 751

Summary: Sometimes you just need a day off. What a better way than spending it with your boyfriends at the beach.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, lazy moments, bonfire,...

A/N: Sorry I'm late, I completely forgot to post yesterday. Hope you enjoy it babe @miuracha 💕

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

The sun was setting, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink as you, Chan, and Felix made your way to the beach. You had decided to escape the hustle of their daily lives for a quiet evening by the sea with the rest of the group. The air was filled with the salty scent of the ocean and the gentle sound of waves hitting the shore.

As the others set up a place for later, the three of you decided to go for a walk. You kicked off your shoes, feeling the still warm sand between your toes. Felix immediately ran towards the water, his laughter echoing in the air. Chan watched him with a fond smile you've seen so often before. 

"Come on, you two!" Felix called out, splashing water in your direction.

You laughed and grabbed Chan's hand, pulling him towards the water. "Let's not let him have all the fun!"

You spent a few moments having fun in the shallow waves, the setting sun casting a golden glow on your boyfriends' faces. Felix attempted to splash both Chan and you, leading to a playful water fight. The sound of your laughter mixed with the soothing rhythm of the ocean. 

As the sky slowly darkened, you decided to walk back along the beach, the sand now cool under your feet. Felix found a stick and started drawing in the sand. He sketched a simple heart, adding their initials inside, and smiled at you. 

Chan stood beside you, watching Felix with an affectionate gaze. "He never stops surprising us, does he?" Chan said, his voice soft.

You nodded, heart swelling with love for the two men who meant the world to you. "He's our little bundle of surprises."

"Shut up," Felix smirked.

You continued your walk, the stars beginning to sparkle in the night sky. Chan wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close. Not wanting to be left out, Felix wrapped his arm around Chan's waist.

As you reached your friends, they already set up a small bonfire. You loved spending time with all of them. Minho was preparing some dinner with the help of Jeongin, Seungmin and  Changbin were playfully arguing about a current song. Jisung was staring at the fire, peacefully leaning against Hyunjin, who also didn't pay much attention to them. 

As the night went on, the fire began to fade, and the group started to leave. Chan, Felix and you decided to make your way back to the car. 

The moon was shining bright, casting a silver glow over the water. Sitting on the cool sand, you gazed at the ocean. Felix rested his head on Chan's shoulder, his eyes reflecting the moonlight. You leaned against Felix, your hand finding Chan's, intertwining your fingers.

"Moments like these make everything worth it," Chan said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

Felix hummed in agreement, his eyes closing. "I wouldn't trade this for the world."

You looked at the two most important people in your life fondly. "You guys are my world," you said, voice thick with emotion.

"And you are ours," Chan answered lovingly. 

You sat there in silence for a while, each lost in your own thoughts. Eventually, Felix sat up. "I dare you both to race back to where we started," he challenged, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

Chan raised an eyebrow, a competitive spark lighting up in his eyes. "You're on, Lix."

You laughed, standing up with them. "Alright, but no cheating!"

With a countdown, you took off, running along the beach, your laughter echoing in the night. The race was less about winning and more about enjoying the moment. You all knew Chan would win easily. 

Chan reached the destination first, throwing his arms up in victory. Felix and you arrived moments later, out of breath but beaming with happiness.

"Okay, you win," Felix laughed, ruffling Chan's hair.

Chan stuck his tongue out playfully. "I always do."

You put your shoes back on and began the walk back to your car. As Chan drove back home, you knew that these moments were the ones you would cherish forever: the laughter, the ocean, the race. 

Chan glanced at Felix, who was already dozing off in the backseat, and then at you, your eyes reflecting the streetlights as they passed. He felt an overwhelming sense of love and happiness, knowing that you had each other no matter what the future held.

And in the end, that was all that mattered.

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

@kai-lee08 @atinyniki @sona1800 @mal-lunar-28 @aaasia111 @galaxycatdrawz @kthstrawberryshortcake @soullostinspaceandtime @rebecca-johnson-28 @malfoygalaxies @channieaddict

[measuredingold]

to be in love and to be loved

chapter five: the liars club

authors note: helllooo ! i meant to post this last night but forgot... oops ! anyways, new chapter yay ! it was fun writing this and it's mainly in noah's pov. some parts hurt me to write so sorry for any pain caused ? feelings are just hard to figure out. anyways, as always enjoy and feedback is always appreciated :)

pairing: noah sebastian x ofc x nicholas ruffilo

masterlist / cross-posted on ao3

word count: 8.6k

cw: ~kissing~, angst, feelings not being understood, someone (noah) is stubborn and emotional, some yelling during an argument, sexual identity crisis has begun lol, 18+ (minors do not interact.)

Noah wakes up the next morning confused, with a raging fucking headache, and alone. It freaks him out at first, the feeling of the cold bed sheets against his fingertips when he reaches out causing his heart rate to spike, but then he sees his bedroom door ajar. His heart slows down, only briefly, and he groans as he wipes a hand down his face. 

If he's being completely honest, he feels like he got run over about 50 times last night by a goddamn bus, and he can't even remember it. How much did he drink last night? With another groan he rolls over in his bed, face burying into the pillow next to him. He tries to sort through his mind around what exactly happened yesterday, but the only things he can remember are the moments leading up to the bar and then… nothing.

He remembers being on edge all day, freaked out of his fucking mind because he needed everything to go exactly as he planned because if it didn't he'd probably lose it. This wasn't their first show, no, but this was their first album. First time people were coming out to a show to see them specifically, excited to listen to the album they'd been anticipating for months now. He almost made himself sick at one point yesterday.

He remembers that it went way better than he ever expected. The crowd's energy was something he'd never experienced before, and there was no better feeling than having people actually sing your words back to you. He's been working at this for so long and he finally feels like this is exactly where he's supposed to be. Making music for people like him, searching for something that makes them feel like they belong. 

Then he remembers all the congratulations, the pictures, the first few shots at the bar... and that's about it.

He's sure it was just a regular night out for them - throwing back shots and enjoying each other's company - but there's this nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach telling him he's missing something important. He doesn't dwell on it for too long, thought fleeting the very second Naomi steps back into his room. 

Wet curls wrapped up in a towel on top of her head, adorn in one of his old shirts that he's sure she had stolen years ago. All warm and clean and probably smelled amazing, like lavender. One of her favorite scents. He remembers her telling him that it was a smell that brought her comfort, easing her anxiety. She shuts the door behind her quietly and he assumes it's because she thinks he's still asleep, and his assumption was correct when she turned around and yelped.

"Shit!"

Noah can't help but laugh, pressing his face further into the pillow. 

"You suck." Naomi whines out, but he can hear the smile in her voice. "I thought you were asleep."

"I just woke up." He grumbles, followed by a yawn, and flops onto his back. "I thought you were gone."

Her gaze softens as she makes her way towards the bed, and Noah waits for her to sit before throwing an arm around her waist, face burying against her thigh. He practically purrs at the feeling of her fingers immediately tangling in his hair and his eyes flutter shut. He could fall back asleep just like this.

"Why'd you think I was gone?"

"Bed was empty and cold." His voice was muffled as he pressed his face further into her thigh, wanting to be as close as possible. "Thought you left me."

"I would never." He hears Mimi hum above him, and he smiles to himself at the giggle she lets out. She scratches at his scalp again and it takes everything in him to not moan out in pleasure, the feeling having his eyes flutter shut again. 

Seriously, if it weren't the consistent pounding behind his eyes, he would've fallen back asleep already.

"Head hurts." Noah grumbles, reluctantly pulling away from her to bury his face against the pillow beside her legs. "How much did I drink last night?"

"You don't remember?" There's something behind her voice, an edge that wasn't there before, and if he wasn't battling this headache right about now he'd question it, but doesn't. 

Instead he shakes his head, sighing out, "No. I don't really remember much."

The silence that follows doesn't make the ever growing pit in his stomach ease any at all, and there's a nagging voice in the back of his mind telling him something happened and he needs to remember it now, but he's so tired. He'll try to remember later. He feels Naomi shift next to him and clear her throat, and he peeks open an eye to watch her get up off the bed.

"I'll get you some water and Ibuprofen, okay? Fix that headache of yours." She's speaking so fast, that edge still there, and it has Noah opening both of his eyes, propping himself up on his elbows.

"Okay."

His stomach drops at the smile she gives him, one that doesn't quite meet her eyes and very much strained before she slips out the door. He falls back the second it shuts, eyes trained to the ceiling. What happened last night that has Mimi acting so... weird? He tries to search through his hazy memories of the night before but nothing comes up. It's as if whatever happened was completely wiped from his memory. 

He tries telling himself that it's nothing, that he just drank way too much and maybe said something a bit out there in front of too many people and that's why Naomi is acting weird. Maybe she doesn't want to embarrass him? He knows he can say some outlandish shit when he's drinking. He covers his face with his arm, groaning quietly to himself.

Everything’s fine. It was nothing... right? 

...

Something's off.

Noah would say these last few days have been fine, great even. The response to their album was amazing, people were loving it. In hindsight, everything was literally perfect. Except... it wasn't? He couldn't exactly put a finger on it, but the uneasiness from a few days ago still lingered, making a home in the pit of his stomach.

Naomi had been acting weird still, though he thinks she seemed more on edge than anything. He assumed it was because she was leaving tomorrow, and the edge was the sadness seeping out into the real world. He tried his best to mask his own sadness, hating that he has to see her leave again, but he's telling himself that they won't go as long without seeing the other again. That'll make it easier.

Jolly seems to be normal. Nothing off balance with the Swede. He’s always been kind of odd, anyways. Folio the same way. Now that he thinks about it, those two actually seem to really be the only people he's encountered the last few days. His brows furrow as his mind thinks back to the last few days, glimpses of the interactions slipping through his mind. 

The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes the only people who truly seemed off were... Naomi and Nicholas. His stomach turns, the unease creeping through his veins when he realizes he's barely seen Nicholas at all since their album release. 

He's barely left his room, door shut at all times, and Noah tries to think of the times he's even seen the male leave. His mind races, thinking of all the possibilities on why Nicholas was being weird, barely leaving his room and speaking to anyone - especially Noah - and for some reason his mind always wanders back to the damn bar that he still can't fucking remember. 

Why can't he remember?

Something settles in his bones, something like... fear? He's not sure what he's even scared of. Maybe it was the not knowing. If he could just fucking remember what happened that night, maybe it could give him some sort of insight on what happened and why everyone is being so fucking weird and -

"Noah?" 

His eyes moved from the television, stuck on some Netflix show he definitely had not been watching to Naomi, who was standing near the couch. She looked... anxious, for better words. Face flushed, brows furrowed, lips turned down into a frown. It's as if she was in pain, but he knew she wasn't. He knew her better than he knew himself sometimes, and he knew there was something on her mind. His stomach turns painfully.

"Yeah?" He clears his throat when his voice breaks at the end, lips pursing. "What's up?"

Naomi chews on her bottom lip, hands wringing in front of her. "...Can we talk?"

Those three words punch Noah in the chest. Can we talk? That could mean so many things. So many things that scare him, that make him think oh no, something's wrong and that the worst is about to come. He's heard it so many times before in the past, he just never expected it to be from her.

"Oh." He swallows, a lump now forming in his throat and he nods. "Yeah. Of course."

She doesn't seem to spot his panic right away and he realizes maybe he's getting better at his poker face, and comes to sit next to him. She's so close, so fucking close, but Noah feels like she's never been so far away. Their legs are brushing but she feels worlds away, not even braving a glance at him. 

He's going to be fucking sick. 

Something is wrong and he doesn't know what and he swears it has something to do with that god forsaken bar he can't remember anything about. Something happened there that made her far, out of reach, and it was obviously so bad that Nicholas won't even talk to him, and... God. 

She's going to break up with him before she leaves. 

He doesn't realize he's panting until he feels Naomi's fingers wrap around his wrists, breaking him from his thoughts.

"Hey, look at me." She sounds farther away, but she's right there, and Noah slowly manages to gaze at her. "There you are. Can you breathe with me? In, out. In, out. Just like that."

He tries to match her breathing, really does, and it isn't until he feels her nails lightly scratching against the inside of his wrists that he feels himself come back to himself. His breathing is still a bit ragged, and he thinks his eyes are burning just a bit but he blinks whatever it is away. They sit in silence for a little while longer and Noah really focuses on the way her nails feel against his skin and how soothing it actually is, and her steady breathing. 

"...I'm guessing you already know what I want to talk about?" Naomi finally speaks after a few moments of bated silence.

Noah can't exactly read her, the look in her eyes something he's never seen from her before. Was it fear? He doesn't know exactly why she would be scared, but the voice in the back of his head is yelling at him because he knows what this is about. The nagging feeling, the deep pit in his tummy... this was it. He swallows away the lump building in the base of his throat, head nodding slowly. 

"You want to break up."

He says it so definitely, his stomach dropping because this is it. This is what she's doing. This is why she's been so weird the last few days because she didn't know how to do it and let him down easy. He doesn't bother looking at Naomi, instead moves his gaze on his lap because he can't bear to see her right now. See the pitying gaze she's probably giving him, her eyes indicating that yes, this is over.

"What?" 

He finally moves his gaze up to hers and pauses at how bewildered she looks, eyes wide with confusion, full lips dipping further into a frown. This almost angers him, almost, because how dare she look confused. His head tilts to the side, eyes searching her face.

"That's what this is about, right?"

"No, baby, that's..." She sighs, brows furrowing again as her head tilts to the side. "That's not even remotely close to what I wanted to talk about." 

Noah pauses again, mind racing at her words. What did she want to talk about then, if not this? He feels her hand slip to his cheek, turning his head back to face her.

"Noah," She sighs out, frowning again, "Why would you even think that?”

He doesn't know how to respond so he shrugs instead, staring at her. Naomi scoots closer to him, their legs now pressing together, and he focuses on her bare skin against his rather than her pleading eyes.

"Baby..." Another sigh follows her words. "Talk to me. What's going on in that head of yours?"

"I don't know." He eventually says, but doesn't dare to look up at her. "You've just been acting weird. Felt like I did something wrong, I don't know."

He rushes his words out, feeling his cheeks heat up at the confession. He was never good at expressing how he felt, how things bothered him. Never wanted to be a burden, too scared of the things that he may say ruining whatever he had going for him. In his time of knowing Mimi, loving Mimi, he's had to come to terms with the fact he just can't do that with her. She insists that he talk about his feelings, always telling him communication is one of her top priorities in any relationship she has - platonic and romantic. That infamous therapy talk of hers.

It was hard for Noah at first, and it still really fucking is, but he tries. He tries his hardest because he doesn't want to let her down.

"You didn't do anything wrong, baby." She's quick to respond, reaching out to place her hand on his thigh. He watches the way her fingers flex around his thigh, trying to calm down his heart that still seems to be racing. "You did nothing wrong, okay?"

"Then what's this about?" Noah doesn't stop the words from leaving him and he doesn't think twice before flicking his gaze up to hers, brown eyes round and wide. "Because when someone says they need to talk, it's usually nothing good."

He knows it's just the anxiety talking, whatever she's wanting to talk about eating at him because what the fuck could it be? If not that, then what else is there to talk about that's made her so... weird? 

"Do you remember Davis' birthday that year I couldn't go? I had to work."

He nods. "Yeah. Barely."

"Right." Naomi rolls her lips before speaking again. "Do you remember almost kissing Nick that night?"

As soon as she said it, the memory came back to him almost instantly. It was pretty shaky, the memory of Nicholas in front of him blurry, but he remembers that exact moment like it was fucking yesterday. They both drank absolutely way too much and the way Nicholas' cheeks were tinted red from the alcohol was... nice. So nice in fact Noah couldn't stop looking at him or his lips, and remembers wondering what it would be like to kiss his best friend. 

His heart pounds against his chest and he swallows down whatever lump was stuck in his throat, gazing back at Mimi.

"...Not really."

Lie. 

"Noah-"

"Okay, yes. I do. Sort of." He pauses to catch his breath, already feeling himself get worked up. "What's that have to do with anything? That was two years ago."

He hates the way she's staring at him, eyes narrowed but still gentle, as if she can see right through him, because she can. She's always been able to read him since the day they met. 

"I never knew that until you mentioned it at the bar."

His eyes widened at that. He got so drunk that night that he confessed to his girlfriend that he almost kissed their best friend? 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

"I'm sorry. It was forever ago, before we were together, it didn't mean-"

"Noah." She drops her hand from his face and holds it up, and Noah stops in the middle of his sentence, lips pressing together as he watches her. "It's okay. I don't care." 

"Oh." He feels himself sink back against the couch, relief filling his body.

Okay. Cool. She didn't care. That was good, right?

"Yeah." Naomi's voice trails and she stares off to the side, as if trying to find her next words. "Well, um. After you... mentioned that, you... Um."

Noah's eyes narrow at her. In the three years he has known Mimi, she wasn't one to stumble over her words. Usually that was his and Nicholas' jobs, stumbling through their sentences and Naomi helping them along the way.

"I... what?" His arms cross over his chest.

"You..." There was another pause and she finally looked back at him, lips pressed in a line. "We kissed."

His brows furrow. "...Okay?"

"All three of us. Kissed."

Oh.

Fuck.

Oh fuckfuckfuck.

“What?” He didn’t intend for his voice to come off so loud but he couldn’t help it, because what the actual fuck did she just say?

"We kissed."

Right. That's what he heard the first time yet it still doesn't sound fucking real. 

What does she mean they kissed? Why the fuck would that ever happen? How did it happen? Noah's gaze tears from Naomi to stare off to the side, too caught up in his own mind to even register that Naomi's gripping his hand, begging him to look at her. His chest feels heavy again, like at least ten tons of weights were just dropped on it.

We kissed. There's no way he actually kissed... no. That couldn't have happened. Noah's stomach turns. He feels hot, almost like he's going to be sick, because this didn't happen. It couldn't have happened. He would've remembered kissing his best friend... or watching his best friend kiss his girlfriend.

His face heats up at the thought.

"...Noah?"

He sucks down a deep breath to try and come back to himself,  finally looking back at Mimi. The weight on his chest lifted only slightly as their eyes met once again. He blinks.

"What?"

"Did it..." Naomi pauses and swipes her tongue over her bottom lip, and Noah can't help but follow it. "Did it mean anything?"

Noah tilts his head. "What did?"

"The almost kiss. Between you and Nicky.” 

He feels his whole-body freeze, stiffening at the implication of her words. Did it mean anything? What does it matter if it meant anything? It was years ago, back before Naomi, back before Noah knew shit about anything... back when it was just him and Nicholas. Back when the only things that meant a goddamn thing to him was his music and his best friend.

And sure, maybe there had been a time where it may have meant something to him, back when he was still learning himself, all awkward and all limbs. Back when things didn't seem to make much sense besides the fact he loved being around Nicholas, he loved his best friend. He had never really had that type of safety growing up, never felt secure, but when he was bouncing around with Nicholas, sleeping on his family's couch, in his bed, shooting the shit into the wee hours of the night with him, he remembers thinking he could live like this forever as long as it was with Nick. 

So yeah, maybe at the time it meant something. Or maybe it was the alcohol in his system that night that made him think that. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to know. 

He swallows down the lump that was beginning to form in his throat and averts his gaze from Naomi, and he misses the look she gives him. He misses the way her face drops, lips pulling down into a frown, and instead wraps his arms around his middle, curling in on himself.

It didn't mean anything.  

It couldn't mean anything. 

"No." 

It sounded like a lie. His voice wavered and he looked anywhere but Naomi, couldn't dare look at her. He felt... guilty, in a way. That even though this almost kiss was years ago, his skin prickled at the thought of it happening now and how he didn't seem to be to put off by it. His heart pounded against his chest just at the mere thought of their lips brushing and he's frozen in his spot. It happened, just a few nights ago, and he's more upset at the fact he doesn't even fucking remember it.  

Why would he even want to kiss Nicholas, anyway? Naomi was his girlfriend, sitting right next to him. She should be the only person he wants to kiss, touch. 

"...Are you sure?" 

"Of course." He spits out, then flinches because he didn't mean to sound so harsh. He gives Naomi a quick glance before letting his eyes drop again. "Why would it? Nothing even happened, anyways." 

Noah knows why. He fucking knows and it makes his stomach turn, throat close up, and he could probably throw up at any fucking second, but he chooses to ignore it, because the truth is too much. It's not like he still doesn't feel the same for Naomi, that's not it at all. She's the first person he's ever loved this hard, ever considered to be serious with, to start a life with. He knows Naomi is his endgame and has always been. 

So has Nicholas, he briefly thinks, and has to physically shake his head to put the thoughts away. 

They sit in silence for a moment, not uncomfortable, but silence nonetheless and Noah's scared to look at Naomi. Scared to find that she sees through him and his stubbornness, sees through the lies that he spits out, because he doesn't want to think about what'll come after. He can't lose Naomi and the life that they've built together, will build together. He can't lose the stableness she's brought into his life, the love she gives him when sometimes he thinks he doesn't deserve it. He can't lose his best friend - both of them. 

So, he'll continue to lie, continue to tell himself and everyone around him that it meant nothing at the time and definitely doesn't mean a goddamn thing now. 

"Noah." Naomi's voice is so soft, so gentle, he has to squeeze his eyes shut to will away the burning that it brings. "Baby, look at me." 

Her hand is on his arm now and he feels her scoot closer to him, but she's timid, keeping her space. She knows how he gets when he starts to shut down, build the walls back up around himself when things get too complicated because he hates when it starts to feel like that. He's comfortable for the first time in his life and he can't let that slip through his fingers. 

He takes a deep breath, then two, then three, and finally opens his eyes to find Naomi staring at him, brows furrowed in concern. Her hand doesn't leave him, and he relaxes ever so slightly at the feel of her thumb rubbing into his skin, trying to calm him down. Usually, she'd do the thing where she rubs at his wrists, gently scratching at the skin to bring him back down to earth like she had done earlier, but she can't with the way he has his arms wrapped around him, hands tucked away at his sides. 

"Me and Nicholas had an almost kiss, too. I told you that night but I’m assuming you don’t remember." She starts slowly and her hand moves up his arm to rest against the back of his neck, fingers digging into his skin gently to rub out any tension there. It was helping. "We didn't, though, because of you." 

"Me?" He perks up at that, but for some reason his chest aches, heart pounding again.  

Why did they stop because of him? Why was he the reason for their kiss ending before it ever even started? The guilt comes back, settling in the pit of his stomach. 

Naomi nods. "It didn't feel right... with how I felt about you and...." 

She trails off and he can tell she's choosing her words carefully, like she was leaving out something, but he doesn't say anything. Noah swallowed thickly, eyes scanning her face. 

"I..." He watches her eyes flutter shut and watches her throat bob as she swallows down whatever fear may linger there. "I wanted to kiss him, but I didn't. Well - he didn't. He asked me what about Noah? and we stopped." 

"That doesn't make any sense." The words leave him before he can even think about it. "You shouldn't have stopped because of me." 

"Yes, we should have." Her answer was quick, and Noah can only stare at her. "We should have because it wasn't fair to you." 

"Why?" He doesn't get it, or... maybe he does, but he refuses to believe what's so obviously in front of him.  

"Jesus." Naomi breathes out, a quiet laugh following. "This is a lot harder than I thought it would be." 

Her hand drops from his neck to rest back against his arm, and he watches the movements, eyes following her fingers drawing circles, tracing the artwork that was etched across his skin.  

"It wasn't fair to you because of how we felt about you." She starts off slowly, eyes dropping down to her hand. "We both cared about you so much then, and still do. At the time it was more confusing, but I think," She takes a deep breath before her eyes find him again. "I think it didn't feel right to do that with you not there. It didn't feel complete." 

Complete. They didn't feel complete without him there and that has his stomach turning, as if a thousand butterflies were let off inside of him but he can't seem to be happy about it. It can't mean what he's thinking. He refuses to even believe that because that would mean what he's feeling is true and that's impossible. 

How the hell can you love two people at once and it's fine? It sounds fucking selfish. 

"I don't..." His words trail off and he has to look away from her, her gaze becoming far too much.  

Both of her hands slide back up his neck this time, turning him back to her but he shuts his eyes before their gazes even meet. He's being stubborn, he fucking knows, but it's too much. He can't do this. Not now. 

"Noah..." 

"What?" He tries to make it sound harsh, but it instead comes out weak, voice cracking at the end. Noah opens his eyes, and the look Naomi is giving him is borderline painful, and he has to swallow down the lump in his throat once again. 

"I... liked it when we kissed the other night." She finally starts again, voice barely above a whisper. Noah averts his gaze, eyes dropping to his lap, but her hand doesn't leave his neck. "...And I think you liked it, too." 

His stomach is full of twists and turns, a voice in the back of his head telling him that she's right. Even if doesn't remember it he knows he liked it, more than he should have, and his eyes squeeze shut to try and wrack his brain around some type of memory to remind him of how it felt, but nothing comes. 

He wishes he could remember, but he can’t. So, he says the first thing that comes to his mind. 

"I... I don't know if I liked it." Lie, but he pushes through it.  

"...And that's okay. If you don't know." Naomi speaks so carefully, thumbs brushing against his skin as her eyes scan his face. "You don't need to know right now. I just needed you to know." 

"And what is it I need to know?" 

"That I liked kissing Nicholas. Far more than I probably should." She pauses, sucking in a deep breath. "And that I think you liked it too, but you don't know how to feel about it, and that's completely okay."  

They keep their eyes on each other for a moment or two, the silence slowly eating away at him. How could she know that? There's no way she could know that. Hell, Noah barely even knows that. He wishes he could fucking remember what it was like, his lips against Nicholas'. The way it felt when their lips finally met. The way it made him feel in that moment, after waiting for it for so long. He can feel goosebumps rise across his skin just at the mere thought of their lips brushing and his face flushes out of embarrassment.  

Naomi doesn't comment on it. 

"So," He clears his throat, eyes dropping again. "What does this mean?"  

"Nothing. If that's what you want."

Noah's silent, and he doesn't move his gaze from his lap. 

"I love you." Naomi presses, and she's leaning forward, lips ghosting over his cheek. "That hasn't changed and will never, ever change. I just... needed to be honest with you." There's another pause in her words and she pulls back, eyes scanning him again. "And I want you to be honest with yourself. It doesn't need to be right now, but whenever you're ready. Okay?" 

He swallows thickly again, and he thinks his eyes are burning but he refuses to even acknowledge that. His stomach twists and turns at the implication of her words and he so desperately wishes he could do that, for her, for himself, but he can't. Not yet at least. 

So instead, he nods, quietly saying, "I love you."

He hopes that's enough for her, for now, and he thinks it is when she leans in to press their lips together. It's different from the others they've shared, something else is behind it and he can't quite place it, but it only has him pressing harder against her, trying to deepen it. He loves her, with his entire being, and hopes one day he can be honest with her in the way she's wanting. 

Maybe. 

"Okay." She says once she pulls back, taking a deep breath to come back to herself. Her hands slide up and down his neck and she gives him a small smile, and this time it reaches her eyes. "Wanna help me finish packing?"

Noah nods, finally unwrapping his arms from around himself. "Yeah... I wanna help."

Her smile grows wider at that, and he actually returns it before letting her pull him up and off the couch, dragging him towards his room to finish packing for her flight tomorrow morning. He does his best to ignore the voice in his head screaming at him when they pass Nicholas' room, especially when he catches himself staring at the shut door longingly.

… 

He's pissed.

No - he's downright fucking livid.

He'd never seen such heartache in Naomi's face when he told her that Nicholas wouldn't be coming to the airport to drop her off, even though he so clearly was home, holed up in his room. She acted as if it didn't bother her, only for a second, before the tears fell. Noah swore he saw red, never once in his life being so... disappointed in his best friend. He hated anyone that made Naomi upset, and knowing it was Nicholas at the other end of this anger was something Noah's never experienced.

He kept it together for her, even when he kissed her goodbye. Especially when she asked Noah to let Nicholas know that she said goodbye, and that she'll text when she lands. The drive home was excruciating and he swears he broke several traffic laws because he couldn't stop thinking about it. What the fuck was Nicholas' problem? 

If he had been so bothered by what happened then he should say that. Noah can take the rejection - it hurts less because he doesn't exactly remember it. At least he thinks it does, but maybe this anger he's feeling is overshadowing the ache in his chest that's yearning to remember what it was like to have Nicholas' lips on his. He barely thinks about it, actually, so consumed by the anger and disappointment rising in him, he slams the front door shut. 

No one else is home. Just him, Nicholas, and an empty house. His feet move before he can even think about it, taking him up the stairs and down the hall, second door on the left. Noah swings open Nicholas' door, the latter looking up from his desk, sketch pad placed in front of him. His brows furrow at the sight of Noah, confusion written all over his face and that somewhat pisses off Noah even more. 

"What the hell is your problem?"

This surprises Nicholas, eyes widening. "What?" 

"Cut the fucking bullshit." This has Nicholas' pressing his lips together and Noah steps into his room, shutting the door behind him. He points over at Nicholas, eyes narrowing. "Mind telling me what's been up your ass this last week?"

Nicholas pauses. "Nothing."

"Sure." Noah scoffs, arms crossing over his chest. "You seriously suck at lying, dude. You always have." 

"It's nothing, Noah." Nicholas grumbles, low and annoyed, and he's swinging his chair back around to his desk, staring down at the flash sheet before him. "Just been busy."

"With what?" Noah knows he should keep it down, knowing the other guys are just in the living room, but he can't find it in himself to even care. "We fucking live together, man. I know when you're busy."

Silence.

"She was expecting you to be there, you know." Noah grits out, voice shaking. "Do you know how hard it was to watch her cry? Knowing it was over you? Really fucking hard, Nick. She wanted you there." 

Nicholas doesn't say anything to this, but Noah notices the moment his shoulders tense, his actions pausing, before picking his pen up again. 

"Oh, so you’re just not gonna say anything? How fucking mature.”

"I don't know what you want from me, Noah." Nicholas sounds defeated as he whips around in his chair, shoulders slumping forward as sad, gray eyes meet Noah's brown ones.

"I want you to tell me what the fuck is going on." He's angry, maybe irrationally so, but he doesn't care. He's pissed, hands shaking at his sides as his eyes narrowed down on his best friend.

"Nothing's going on."

"Stop lying to me!" Noah's voice booms throughout the bedroom and both boys pause, eyes widening.

Noah doesn't yell. In a song, sure, but never ever in conversation. And never at Nicholas. In the years he's known the boy, he can't really remember any argument that they've had that led to a raised voice. It was never like that with him, but maybe things have changed. A lot of things have changed.

He sucks in a deep breath, eyes fluttering shut as he tries to calm himself down. Naomi's voice fills his mind, softly chanting in and out, in and out, in and out. He feels like he's spiraling, the anger and confusion coming to a halt inside his body and not sure how to release. He hates feeling like this, he hates being angry at Nicholas, but he can't help it. He's lying. Noah knows he's lying and he doesn't have a damn clue on why he keeps it up.

"Stop lying." He says softer now, voice wavering. "You don't need to lie."

"Yes, I do."

"If..." In, out. In, out. In, out. "If this is about the stupid fucking kiss from the other night, it's not that big of a deal."

His stomach drops the second those words leave his mouth, and he's sure Nicholas has the same feeling with the way his eyes are widening, staring at him in disbelief. 

"I remember - well, Mimi told me. But I know." He pauses. "That's it, isn't it? The kiss? You're being fucking weird because of a stupid kiss?"

It wasn't stupid. Even if he doesn't remember it he knows it wasn't, but he can't seem to stop the words tumbling from his mouth.

"Yes." Nicholas finally grits out, eyes narrowing at him. "It is about the stupid kiss."

"I knew it." Noah laughs and it's such a sad fucking sound, because he doesn't feel any better hearing those words from Nicholas. Actually, he somehow feels worse. "I fucking knew it."

Nicholas laughs now, a crazy sound, and he runs a wild hand through his hair before his arms flail out around him.

"What the fuck do you want to say then, Noah? I mean, since you already know everything." It's Nicholas' turn to narrow his gaze, anger brewing behind his eyes. “I don’t know what you fucking want from me if you already know so much. What’s there to even talk about, huh?”

"I just want you to be honest with me," Noah tries to keep his voice level, but there is another waver towards the end, and he has to curl his hands into fists and squeeze. 

In and out, in and out, in and out. 

"Honest? You want honesty?" With another laugh that sounds anything but humorful, Nicholas rises from his chair and takes a step closer to Noah. "Do you know how fucking hard it is to watch the person you love be with someone else? And then have them kiss you?”

There it is. 

He thinks deep down he knew all along that Nicholas loved Naomi. The more he thought about it - and he's thought about it a lot these last 24 hours - the more it made sense. Noah remembers the longing glances shared between the two, remembers the tension whenever they first met. Maybe he tried convincing himself it was nothing just to justify his own feelings, but it was always clear as day.

Nicholas fucking loved her. His hands shake at the thought and he squeezes them into fists again, fingernails digging into the skin of his palm. It hurts to hear out loud even though he knew. He fucking knew.

But he thinks it hurts more knowing that it's just her, and not him.

"Naomi told me." He manages to get out, swallowing down the lump in his throat. "She told me about the first time you tattooed her. How you guys didn't..." He can't say it fully, taking a deep breath before continuing, "because of me. You spared my feelings because you'd rather, I don't fucking know, deprive yourself of happiness because you didn't want to hurt my feelings?"

Nicholas doesn't say anything again, just stares at him with his lips pressed together and for some reason that angers Noah even more.

"Did you think I couldn't handle it? Her rejection? I could have." He takes a step closer to Nicholas, the other boy watching him carefully. "I would have if it meant that you two were happy. That's all I ever fucking cared about."

They're toe to toe now, not touching just yet but almost there. Nicholas' eyes soften. 

"Noah, that's all I cared about, too. That's why I couldn't do it, because of you and-"

"Because of me! That's all I keep hearing. Me, me, me. You didn't know how I'd feel. You didn't know how I'd react. Not once did you even think of yourself, either of you, because for some reason you both are so worried about how I'd feel." The words fall from his lips without much thought and a humorless laugh slips from him, arms moving wildly at his sides. "And now look, you resent me! Probably Mimi, too, because of a choice you made."

Was it harsh? Maybe, but Noah was done letting this shit build up inside of him. If Nicholas wanted to ignore him then goddammit, he was going to get out everything he's been wanting to say for the last two days. 

Nicholas looks at Noah now as if he's just grown two heads and for some reason that just makes him angrier. Why is he confused? He doesn't get to act confused, he's the one that's been ignoring them, resenting them, for a choice he made. 

"I don't resent you."

"Could've fooled me.”

"I don't-" Nicholas pauses, taking a deep breath and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I don't fucking resent you. I don't resent Mimi, either. If anything I resent myself for being fucking stupid."

It's Noah's turn to be confused, eyes narrowing down at his best friend.

"What?"

Nicholas opens his mouth to speak but closes it almost instantly. He doesn't say anything, just stares at him with wide eyes and Noah's not sure what to do next. He doesn't understand any of this. If Nicholas didn't resent them, then why the hell was he acting like he did? 

"I..." Noah's stomach twists at the sight of tears welling in Nicholas' eyes and he forces himself to look away, anywhere and everywhere but his face. "How can you not fucking see, Noah?"

"See what?"

They're so close. So fucking close and Noah finally gains enough courage to look at Nicholas again, and immediately wishes he hadn't. He watches the first tear fall, stream down Nicholas' cheeks, and he feels like someone just stabbed him in the fucking chest repeatedly. Why was he crying? What was there to cry over? 

"How I feel about Naomi. How I feel about you." Nicholas sounds so small, voice barely above a whisper.

"...About me?" Noah asks dumbly, but his mind is working double time already, heart thudding loudly against his chest.

There's no way Nicholas is admitting to this. Admitting to something that Noah told himself years ago would never fucking happen - could never fucking happen. That's why he shoved it so far back into his mind, his heart, because he could never allow something like that to come between him and his best friend. 

"Noah, I..." The words are on the tip of his tongue and Noah knows what he's going to say. He can feel it in his fucking bones and he feels his hands shaking at his sides again, but this time with anticipation. "I..."

"Nicky." Noah all but whines out, voice soft and eyes pleading. 

Nicholas' mouth shuts and Noah sees the exact moment his gaze falls to his lips before moving back up. His ears ring and his skin heats up, standing there while Nicholas reaches for him, tattooed hands cupping his face. He watches the boy lean in and barely even registers the fact that Nicholas' lips are against his before the other is pulling back, eyes wide. 

"Shit, Noah - I'm sorry. Fuck. I'm so fucking sorry-"

Noah's not paying attention to his words, no, his ears are still ringing so fucking loud that Nicholas sounds muffled right now. He's too busy thinking about the way Nicholas' hands are still cradling his face and how gentle he was with him, their lips pressing together in what he thinks was the gentlest kiss of his life. Well, sort of a kiss. He didn't even kiss back, didn't think to kiss back because his brain short circuited. His lips were soft, not nearly as soft as Mimi's, but still softer than he imagined.

"- I wasn't thinking. I shouldn't have done that without asking, I'm fucking sorry-"

Noah reaches up to circle his fingers around Nicholas' wrists when he feels the other trying to slip away. He keeps his hands there, against his face, and stares at him for another beat before surging forward. Their lips crash together with such force that they both stumble and Noah's hands drop from Nicholas' wrists to rest against his hips, keeping him steady. He thinks he hears Nicholas make some kind of noise, feels the vibration against his lips, but that damn ringing in his ears won't stop.

This kiss isn't anything like the one they just shared. Far from it. It's messy, sloppy, and all teeth, but it has Noah's skin buzzing in what he can only assume is excitement and fucking relief because this is what he's always imagined it to be like. Years of pent up frustration, long years of fucking yearning has led to this and Noah can't help but whine against Nicholas' lips. It's like they fit perfectly together, like Nicholas was the missing puzzle piece in this story. It reminds him of kissing Naomi, and how much he loves it, and how perfect and right it always feels. 

Naomi.

It's like his brain was on autopilot and just finally turned back out, screeching to a halt as the realization finally dawned on him. 

He can already feel the panic settling into his bones, rising until it lodges in the base of his throat and he all but pushes Nicholas away from him as if he's been burned. He feels like he's going to throw up at any second and he wishes that his ears would stop fucking ringing so loud, because all he can see is Nicholas' mouth moving but no words are coming out. The other takes a step towards him, arms reaching out but Noah shakes his head quickly. He takes two large steps back.

"Noah?”

It's muffled and barely sounds like Nicholas. Noah shakes his head again and takes another step back, yelping when he comes in contact with the door. He has to get out of here.

"I'm sorry." He gets out shakily before he reaches for the door handle and throws the door open, rushing for the stairs.

FuckFuckFuck.

He needs to get out of there. He needs to leave and go somewhere so fucking far away because he cannot stay here. No, he can't. The last glimpse he had of Nicholas crosses his mind, the absolute heartbreak written all over his face, and his chest hurts. It hurts so fucking bad and he can't breathe and-

"Woah. Slow down there, man."

Jolly chuckles and rests his hands on Noah's shoulders, but the younger boy doesn't know what's funny. He looks at him, gets out that he's headed somewhere, anywhere but here, and sees the moment confusion and then concern crosses Jolly's features. He doesn't let him question it, already ripping himself from his friends grasp. He grabs his keys that are still sitting on the counter where he left them, pats his pockets to make sure he still has his phone, and bolts out the door without another thought.

...

Her apartment feels foreign to her. She's tried so hard to make it feel like home, and it did at one point, but now it just... feels like a space she lives in. Richmond feels the same. This was the place where she grew up, where she became who she is today, and yet she's never felt so disconnected from it. It isn't home. Not anymore.

Home is almost three thousand miles away.

Naomi's eyes glance over at her phone next to her on the floor and sighs when no new notifications show up. She's only been home for about an hour, texting both Noah and Nicholas the second she walked through the door. She wasn't too surprised that Nicholas didn't respond, seeing as he didn't even bother telling her goodbye this morning, but Noah's silence comes as a shock. Usually she's welcomed with a text right when she lands from the boy, asking if she's landed yet and that he misses her.

There was nothing.

She knew how angry he was when Nicholas didn't meet them at the car this morning, ignoring both their texts. She knew he tried his best to hide how he was feeling, especially when she didn't do a good job hiding how she did. She felt guilty, in a way, crying over someone else when Noah was right there. He was so understanding, though, and had been ever since she told him how she felt about the kiss and Nicholas.

Naomi knew deep down it was because he understood how she felt, but was too stubborn to figure it out for himself and admit to it. 

She sighs again as she tosses another shirt from her suitcase into the dirty clothes pile she's made in the middle of her room, trying to distract herself from her thoughts. She doesn't want to do laundry. She wishes she could snap her fingers and everything would be cleaned and put neatly in its place, it'd save her a lot of time. 

She really tries hard to not dwell on it, but her hand is moving for her phone before she can stop herself. She'll just text him again, make sure he's alright and didn't do something stupid like confront Nicholas. She never gets to ask, though, the incoming phone call screen popping up on her phone. Her breath hitches when she realizes it was Nicholas calling her.

She lets it ring three times before answering.

"Hello?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry for being a stubborn fucking asshole and not saying goodbye. I'm sorry for ignoring you like a child." Nicholas' voice comes out quickly, words rushing together that she barely even catches what he's saying.

"Nicky, slow down-"

"I'm sorry for running away and not being brave enough to even talk about what happened-"

"Nicholas."

"- and I'm sorry for not telling you I loved you sooner. I should've done that a long time ago, but I'm a coward." Nicholas pauses to suck in a deep breath, probably to try and center himself. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Naomi. I'd take it all back if I could."

"...What?" It's stupid to say but it's all she could manage out.

“… I love you."

Mimi is stunned into silence, mouth agape as her brain tries to process whatever the fuck Nicholas just told her. Their first conversation in almost a week and this is not what she was expecting. Well, maybe the apology, but not the confession. 

I'm sorry for not telling you I loved you sooner. 

It should feel good. It should feel really good to hear those words, to know that he loves her, because she loves him, but it doesn't. It feels far from it. Nicholas sounds so broken and defeated on the other end that she knows that this didn't come from a place of happy realization. 

Something happened. With Noah, no doubt. Something stirs in the pit of her stomach.

"Noah talked to you."

"He did." 

She stays silent, the confirmation swirling around her mind. Noah talked to him. 

"He left." Nicholas' voice shakes and she can already see his face, crumbling as the tears well in his eyes. She doesn't bother stopping her own, the pit in her stomach now feeling like impending fucking doom. His sniffle on the other end breaks her heart. "He barged into my room, yelled at me. Deserved. I was being an ass, I’m sorry. And then I kissed him. He asked me to be honest and I fucking kissed him because it was easier doing that than saying it."

"Nicky..."

"He just stood there and I knew I fucked up, I knew it, but then... fuck, then he kissed me." He sniffles again, followed by a pitiful whine. "Then he left. Pulled away from me like I was some sort of fucking plague and ran off. He's been gone for like two hours. I don't..." A shaky sigh follows his words and her heart feels like it's about to fall out of her chest. "He’s gone. I don't know where he is, Mimi."

Fuck.

[jamboreeofsurprises]

wow I totally forgot to post the fantastic dream i had this morning. I was having a really good Sparks dream and then got a phonecall from my aunt telling me extended family were coming over and being the only person home i needed to be the host, so it ended possibly before it ever even got to the meat and potatoes. but as it was...

I was with my family in our old family van, which is technically my car now, but back then it was the family van. anyway, here comes a recurring theme from many past Sparks dreams: the boys were set to play a venue close to my old hometown, so we needed to give them a lift for some reason, although I guess Russell already got to the venue so Ron was riding with us.

We got tremendously lost. I meant to tell my mom to circle around to a different parking lot to redirect us and instead we drove to like...a whale exhibit (?) and the whales were huge and splashing overhead with no glass or anything while we walked up a ramp to get to the next part of town. didn't make much sense but ron liked the whales. It was really surreal seeing him just sitting upright in a carseat i'd sat in many times, completely blasé to the whole situation as if he were just a random man we picked off the street. i always look at him then look away quickly in my dreams. he would sometimes reply to situations in a very drab and matter of fact way that we found amusing.

anyway, guess what our mystery venue was? my childhood church, although as is typically the case in dreams, it looked nothing like the real thing, yet by dream logic nothing seemed different. Russell plus the band's entourage were there setting up equipment, i think russell was kind of like "what took you so long?" as there were a lot of mishaps along the way (including us accidentally hitting a kid on his bike while parking but don't worry he was fine). I asked ron if he ever considered reversing their roles and doing the singing while russell played the keyboards. he said he could probably sing but russell only knows how to play one note on the keyboard. they both snickered at this. I do not know what this means.

in the church auditorium with my family + the audience, there was an opening act of a magic show that involved. eggs? it went on for too long and impressed nobody. And then there was like...a free-for-all act where we voted on Simpsons characters. I don't know either. this briefly fused into a family guy segment before we were like "its 11pm can we please get Sparks onstage" so we did. but i don't remember anything about the show and i'm not even sure there was a show, because for all the talk of playing and equipment, apparently tonight's event that we reserved tickets for was actually the premiere of a brand new sparks BIOPIC.

it opened with 70s-esque footage of a teenage girl talking into the camera from her bedroom reminiscing about the band from her perspective until "amateur hour" kicks in and pretty decent-looking actors portraying the boys are shown playing onstage during the 70s. i'm thinking, this is pretty cool, i always wondered if a movie like this would happen. and then...

through some sort of stylized shot transition, the band are being played by kittens, singing and prancing around onstage. russell doing all his usual movements but in feline form. Haha what a funny and oddly stylish bit, i'm thinking to myself. what a fun way of depicting their personalities. but it just...continues like that? punk russell in 1976 singing "i wanna be like everybody else" while twirling around with the microphone but as a kitten, thrashing about? everyone is laughing. it's so good.

the movie truly does continue on in this fashion yet for as confounding as its sudden shift in direction is, we become oddly immersed in its storytelling enough not to even notice the boys are still being played by kittens, in a stroke of auteuristic magic a la todd haynes' superstar: the karen carpenter story. a sequence depicting "girl chasing" in their younger years in the form of kittens climbing onto the legs of girls who are walking away from them up some stairs while they mew desperately has the audience both cackling and aww'ing. another scene that stands out is a roadie saying "you guys don't eat enough!" and putting both ron and russell kittens in a bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy.

I was under the impression ron and russ were really proud of the film and likely had direct involvement themselves, but had kept it so tightly under wraps that no one knew what was coming. I wish I could tell you more but then i got that phonecall.

[silverhallow]

Only Fools Rush In

pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x Sophie Beckett

summary: When Benedict gets locked in the library, he doesn't expect to meet a petite blonde who was going to change his life... they say only fools rush in... but these two... they can't help but be fools

warnings: Library sex, First Dates, semi-public sex, Fingering, Blow Jobs, minors DNI

word count: 10498 words

author's note: this was previous only on AO3 and i know it was a favourite of a few and I found a copy. this will be the only version going forward.

Benedict didn't mean to be locked in the library that night.

It was the night before a major essay was due to be handed in, and the only books available to provide the answers were the kind you couldn't check out of the building.

Fair enough, he shouldn't have left it so late, but he was fairly confident he could dash off the 1,000 words required within a few hours. So when he turned up at seven-ish, fresh from a post-rowing practice shower, he wasn't even rushed.

Benedict had to  admit he wasn't exactly a familiar face around the library, and not well informed about its opening hours.

The problem was, half his class was in there, sitting round that same wide table in the humanities section, and there were only so many copies of the key texts available. That meant he had to wait.

The minutes and the hours ticked away, and he did everything he could to persuade his classmates to allow him some time with the books he needed, he had look over people's shoulders, he had grab a few moments when they were in the bathroom, he even told one guy his car was about to be towed.

By the time he got hold of the information he needed, he had little more than an hour remaining before the library would close. Now he was rushed.

One thing that gave him a little comfort was that some of his fellow classmates seemed to be in more of a panic than he was and a few of them even turned up there later than he did.

By the time the fateful hour approached, when the lights would flash and the announcement came around that it was time to vacate the building, he was writing so fast his fingers were numb, but he was still nowhere close to being finished.

As most of the others packed up and headed home, incidentally, leaving all those invaluable books just lying around on their table -- he was left considering his options. Could he smuggle some of these books out with him? They were pretty huge books, pretty heavy.

Could he persuade Mr Hill to give him an extension without a valid reason? He doubted it. they didn't call him "Mentally" Hill for nothing and he really had absolutely no excuse for being late with his assignment.

However, at that stage, he honestly believed he could finish enough notes to complete his assignment within about 15 to 20 minutes. if he could survive being thrown out of the building for that long, he might just about escape with his academic record intact.

He assumed the library staff would check the building to ensure it was empty, and that if he headed up to the top floor, it would take them the longest time to discover him. So, he headed up there, to a fairly dark floor taken up mostly by Modern Languages, where he wove his way through the aisles to the furthest point he could from the central staircase.

There was a small desk there, poorly lit, where he could crash and wait for the inevitable angry librarian.

he was writing like a man possessed, his fingers scrabbling frantically over the pages to scribble down as many quotes and references as he could muster. he actually felt better and better with every passing minute, thinking that he was getting closer and closer to survival. he even relaxed a little, and forgot about the threat of the library hunter-gatherers.

And then the lights went out.

It was pretty spooky in there with the lights extinguished, it had to be said.

Partly, he had to blame Ghostbusters for putting the image of an undead librarian firmly in his head. It was mainly that which made him scrabble to stuff his precious notes into his pack and rush out of there -- he didn't really worry about what the librarians would say. What could they do? Give him detention? Not in University!

There was some illumination in the central stairway, coming from a set of lights that were clearly meant to guide the way in an emergency -- so he slowed to a leisurely pace on the way down the steps towards the ground level.

The thought that he might arrive at the front desk to find nobody there did not even cross his mind until he arrived.

"Hello?"

Silence.

"Uh... hello?"

Turning the lights off must have been the very last thing the library staff did before vacating the building. The doors at the front of the building were very firmly locked. He tried shaking them, in that pointless way that never works with locked doors.

He was trapped.

Even the main controls for the lights were out there in the lobby, sealed off just beyond reach. It was going to have to remain dark in here.

After a moment or two flexing his core muscles, he pulled out his mobile. Naturally, it being the modern digital age and all that, there was no reception. Typical.

With a moan and a sigh, he traipsed back up the steps, hoping that there might be some way that mobile signals might penetrate all these books to reach his little lump of plastic, maybe he had better chances if he climbed higher up in the building.

A couple of flights up, and he nearly had a heart attack, a pale figure was approaching him,

Benedict had never really believed in ghosts, but when you're on your own in a big empty building like that, such scepticism can fade.

After an initial shock, however, he saw that it wasn't a phantom. It was one of his classmates, a very pretty blonde by the name of Sophie.

She was wearing white sneakers, sweatpants and a jacket in the pale blue and white colours of the University gymnastics squad, her long, blonde hair tied back in a ponytail. She was hugging her books in front like some kind of shield, and looking back at him as though he might be some kind of ghost himself.

He didn't really know Sophie at all they both recognised each other from various classes, of course, but he couldn’t say they'd ever shared even a word during their classes. The place was big, their social circles just never crossed.

"Hey," she said a little breathlessly.

"Hey," he returned. "Looks like we're locked in."

"They just left?" she said, wrinkling her brow with a touch of outrage. "They didn't check if anyone was still here?"

"If they did, they didn't do it very well. I am just heading upstairs, there's no signal down there if you wanna come," he waggled his phone as an explanation.

She nodded, and stepped aside to let him through, before following closely behind as he continued the climb back up towards the top floor.

"Where were you?" he asked as they progressed up the seemingly endless steps. "When the lights went out, I mean."

"I was kind of hiding," she admitted.

"Trying to get the essay done before we got thrown out?"

"You too?" she flashed a heart-stopping smile, damn, she was really pretty.

he nodded, trying not to seem like he was staring at her. It was difficult not to, though, she was really beautiful. He was a little surprised he hadn't taken more notice of her in class.

She explained: "I had to come here straight after practice tonight, our coach kept us late. Only had an hour to work on the essay before the lights went out."

"Trying to squeeze in an extra few minutes, huh?"

"Yeah, you'd think they would've found me, though, maybe told me to leave before they went all dungeon-esque."

He was checking his phone all the way up, but by the time they got to the top floor, he still wasn't having any luck.

"Lets try over by the windows," he suggested, and she was happy enough to come along. By now, she'd dug her own mobile out of a pocket, but it appeared she was unable to get a signal either.

The windows ran round three sides of the floor, and at least allowed a little light in from the streetlamps outside. It splashed everything over there in a dull orange tint that made his new companion seem more like a ginger than a blonde.

There was to be no joy with either phone and Sophie pointed out a laminated print-out tacked to a column support that stated firmly: "No mobiles".

"Maybe they have some kind of blocking system so people can't use their phones," she suggested. "I heard they use those in cinemas and theatres."

he nodded dejectedly, but then suggested: "There must be a landline or two down at the front desk."

"What about the computers?" she said. "We could email for help."

"You need to get a password before they'll work," he said.

"Oh that's right."

And, as it turned out, it seemed like you needed some kind of password or code to use the phones down at the front desk. It wasn't as simple as dial nine to get an outside line, at any rate.

"Nine-nine-nine?" Sophie suggested.

"Let's see if there's another way out before we try that one," he said. To be honest, he felt a little too guilty to opt for the emergency number, they weren't in any immediate danger, after all, and to dial 999 might deprive someone else from a call out that might be a little more urgent.

"I was supposed to meet up with my friends later," she said. "Maybe they'll wonder where I am and send a search party."

For the next twenty minutes or so, they formed a search party and scoured the ground-level, searching from some kind of secret back door or a device to communicate with the outside.

There was nothing except a couple of fire doors, those kind that have bars on that you can push to open, but then sets off a fire alarm.

"Should we?" Sophie asked.

The issue was the notice plastered all over the door warning of £2,000 fines if the alarm was activated when it wasn't an emergency.

"It is a kind of emergency," he said.

"I'm not sure I really want to risk a £2,000 fine."

"Me neither."

They looked at each other for a moment. She had really pretty eyes, even in the dull glow of the fire door's emergency light. Just looking at her made him catch his breath a little. He was thinking it would be safer to spend the night in the library, that the threat of a £2,000 fine was too much, even with the possibility of them arguing their way out of it.

And he was also thinking it wouldn't be so bad to spend a few hours with this rather beautiful girl.

"My friends will call for help eventually," Sophie said as their pause got just that little bit too long. "I'm sure of it."

Benedict suggested; "Maybe a security guard or someone will poke their head in the door some time soon."

She smiled again, melting his insides. "Maybe. So, should we go find somewhere comfortable to sit?"

"Sure. I think the best place is probably the English Lit section there's beanbags and armchairs and so on."

"Great!"

They went up to the second floor, and sure enough found some relatively comfortable armchairs, where ordinarily the English majors could read their fiction and pretend it was work. There was even a carpeted floor, which made things seem a little warmer, although he was aware that the temperature was already beginning to drop, the heating was no longer on.

They found an area close to the windows, where at least there was a little light, although the orange glow was hardly enough to read anything by.

There was nothing but conversation to help them pass the time, and although it seemed to flow pretty freely between them, he was a little worried they'd run out of things to say at some point, and enter some kind of awkward zone.

"It's kind of funny how we've never actually spoken before," she said. "I mean it's not such a big course or anything."

"Yeah, I've been kind of immersed in the world of rowing. Those guys kind of keep to a certain crowd"

"I hear you guys are pretty good. I don't get to any of the competitions because we usually have some competition or other"

"Well, we're okay. We won't win any major championships this year, but we're winning more races than we're losing. I seem to spend most of my time competing by myself rather than with the main team anyway. How's your competition going?"

"Oh, not bad. I have a desk drawer full of various medals but I don't think any of us will make it to the Olympics, but there's a chance at the national finals for a few of us."

She sat quite close, there might have been some light from the windows, but the rest of the library was fairly intimidating, and it seemed safer to be closer together. He thought, if he leaned over, he could have touched her at that point.

At any rate, they were close enough for him to detect the faint air of her sweet perfume, and that seemed to lull him into a dreamy state as they talked.

They discussed their sports, a little about class and their classmates. they basically had no friends, even distant friends, in common.

And the theme they came back to was their complete shortage of time for things like dating. Both of them had strenuous training schedules for their sports, and there was little time to get out and meet new people.

Then at one point, Sophie said: "I'm glad I was locked in with you."

Something ignited inside him at that, but she corrected herself quickly: "I mean, I don't think I could have dealt with being on my own in here."

Benedict smiled, but underneath the surface, he thought he preferred to ignore her correction. Still, brushing over her mistake, if that's what it was, he said: "I think anyone would be pretty intimidated by this place in the dark if they were on their own."

"I think if I'd been on my own, Iwould have been straight out those fire doors,�� to hell with the consequences," she said.

"Maybe we should," he suggested. "I mean, we've got to be able to say this is an emergency, right?"

"I don't know. Maybe. But if they do hit us with a fine like that, that would probably be it for me, I'd have to move home, go to night school or something."

"That would be a shame," he said, then it was his turn to correct himself: "I mean, you'd have to quit the gymnastics squad and so on."

She smiled, and then tilted her head a little, like she was suddenly thinking about him in a new way.

There was a brief pause, perhaps a little too long, for while he was thinking about breaking the silence, she said: "It's simpler this way. Why risk it?"

"It won't be so bad waiting, I'm sure," he said, trying to be reassuring.

"It would be like going on a date," she said brightly, but then again seemed to feel she'd gone too far, amending herself: "I mean, you know, except it isn't."

he thought if there'd been enough light, he had probably have seen her blush right then.

"We can tell people we were on a date," he suggested, trying to defuse the tension that seemed to have crept in a little. "Less embarrassing than 'I got stuck in the library'."

"Yeah, a lot less embarrassing," she laughed. "So what happens at the end of the night? I mean, if we don't get rescued. I don't usually sleep with guys on the first date."

"We'll just have to try and stay awake," he said. "It's getting a little cold, do you want my jacket?"

She smiled, "I have a jacket. And that would leave you cold, so what good would that be?"

She had a point, but he did see her shiver a little. Maybe she'd get cold enough to move towards the decision to make a run for it through the fire door downstairs. Or, as he was beginning to hope, maybe she'd prefer to stay, and to snuggle up for warmth.

Then again Maybe one of her friends would raise the alarm before then.

"Why don't we go for another wander around?" she asked. "That'll keep us warm."

So they did another tour of the library, a little less rushed than before, when they were looking for a quick exit.

As they wandered, from aisle to aisle, section to section and floor to floor, he found out more about Sophie's relatively sheltered upbringing in rural Hampshire, while he told her a little about his early days in Kent.

They were heading back down towards the English Lit section, since there was really nowhere else as comfortable to settle down for long periods at a time, when they stumbled upon a janitor's closet in the central stairwell.

they had been checking out every door they came across by this point, every nook and cranny, so he was sure they would have found this closet eventually. It wasn't particularly exciting, you might say, except that there was a flashlight in there.

That got both of them quite excited.

"We'll be able to signal people on the outside!" he said.

"Oh, yeah, that's a great idea!" she said, as though she hadn't been thinking about the obvious use for the flashlight, as he had.

"What were you thinking we'd do with it?" he asked.

"I... uh... just thought it would be nice to have some light," she said, and as he turned the flashlight on to bathe her pretty face in light, her expression told him she agreed her idea was a little on the lame side.

"Maybe if I'm going to tell my friends I was on a date," she said instead, "I might need to tell them what you look like?"

She playfully grabbed the flashlight off him, and put the light right back into his face, dazzling him.

"Come on," she said, "let's go try out your signalling plan."

They went back to the windows in the English Lit section, figuring it was close enough to the ground to catch people's attention, but they were a little tired of walking around by then, so crashing there seemed like a good long-term strategy.

The windows ran all the way along the wall, but had a nice wide sill that could be, and usually was, used by students to sit on. It even had cushions lining it. So, naturally enough, they found themselves sitting there, Sophie leaning back against a column with her legs outstretched, and him kneeling by her feet, facing the glass itself, flickering the flashlight at the outside world.

He was pleased that the flashlight made a clear circle of light on the pavement below the building, if anyone walked by, they would have to see it.

The trouble was, nobody walked by.

"How long do you think the battery will last?" she asked after a while, disappointment in her voice.

"It's pretty bright," he replied. "Should last a fair while."

"Can you see anybody?"

"Nope. Sorry."

"It's not your fault nobody's around."

"I'm sorry our date sucks."

She giggled. "It's not the worst date I've ever been on," she said. "Not by a long shot."

"I guess it could be a lot worse than this," he conceded.

"A lot of my friends would be jealous, if they knew I was on a date with a hot rower," she said, seeming less afraid to make such a forward remark now.

"When I take someone out on a real date, I'd at least make sure there was some drink available, maybe even something to eat."

"There's a vending machine over there?"

"You want something?"

"No," she said, and in the streetlight he could see that broad smile of hers again, so beautiful it made his heart sing. "Maybe you'll just have to take me out on a proper date some time," she added with a sly smile.

"I'd love to," Benedict said, feeling like the last remaining ice between them was now well and truly thawing. "Would we call that the first date or the second?"

"I don't know."

"'Cause I've heard you don't sleep with a guy on the first date."

Sophie threw a book at him after that comment, and they both laughed, and he thought he caught her looking at him with something of a twinkle in her eye.

There was really nobody around, the library wasn't on the way anywhere, but that night it seemed like people were making a particular effort to stay away. Didn't campus security do any patrols?

After a while, there seemed no point in carrying on with the spotlight efforts and he switched the flashlight off.

Benedict suggested getting some drinks, but as they got to the vending machine over by the entrance to the stairwell, he didn't have much change on him and the machine didn't seem to be accepting notes.

"Here," Sophie said, retrieving some coins from a pocket.

their hands touched as she handed them to him, and it was hard not to notice how cold she felt.

"You're really cold," he said, concerned.

"I'm okay," she said, but he thought he even noticed her shivering a little.

he put out his hands in request for hers, which she offered somewhat meekly, her little fib revealed. Her skin was like ice, so cold she could have been a corpse especially if he considered her complexion was fairly pale aside and her lustrous blonde hair. As he held them in his, however, her hands did warm up a little.

Holding her, touching her, there was an amazing energy between them. He caressed her hands a little, ostensibly to help warm them up, but it was a little more than that.

"We could try making a run for it," he offered. "We could tell them we were freezing..."

"No, I'll be okay," she said, looking at him with those big green eyes, "I... I like being here with you."

That made him feel all warm inside. He didn't know what to say.

"Maybe I just need to run up and down the stairs a little," she said. "That'll warm me up."

She broke away from him, and suddenly leaned over backwards, making him jump a little, he didn’t know, he thought she'd fainted or something, he supposed but instead of collapsing, she just learned gracefully into a casual flip, her hands confidently placed on the floor, her feet flicking daintily over the rest of her body before touching back down on the floor so that she could right herself.

"I'll be alright," she said, with a little grin at his obvious look of wonderment.

He knew gymnasts were supposed to be flexible, but her display caught him a little off-guard.

"I wish I could do that," he said.

"I could teach you," she smirked.

"I don't think so!"

They decided to split a Coke to keep a lid on their limited supply of coins, and headed back towards the windows, since the extra light made it the least intimidating place to settle. However, this time they grabbed some bean bags from the reading area, in order to make that still a little more comfortable.

On the way back, Sophie performed a few more little cartwheels, showing off her little frame and somehow still managing to keep a grip on her bean bag.

She really was stunningly beautiful. It made Benedict want to watch her actually compete, and not only because he had got to see her without her training gear on, although he imagined that would be a delicious sight.

"See?" She said, "I've warmed up a little already."

"Great. Now if only I could do a little gymnastics..."

they settled in again, with Sophie again sitting up against that column support, and him sitting at her feet.

This time, they kicked off their shoes, and ended up much closer than the last time they were there, close enough for him to be able to breathe in her subtle but sweet scent. he savoured her alluring perfume, breathing deeply but trying not to make it too obvious the effect she was having on him.

"It's getting pretty late," she said, checking the time on her redundant phone. "I guess his friends have forgotten all about me."

"Mine probably assume I'm drunk in some gutter somewhere."

"I've never been on a first date this long before," she said.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" he asked, grappling with that age-old male inability to decipher the female code, while also slightly concerned that his comment about being drunk in a gutter somewhere might have suddenly put her off. 

"Oh, definitely a good thing," she smiled, and he felt a strange sense of relief sweep over him. Then she said: "No, I just thought that it's kind of like having two dates in one."

"Well, I suppose if we end up drifting off to sleep, that'll mean your first-date rule is safe," he suggested.

"I guess so," she said. "And we'd skip that awkward 'will he or won't he call' thing after a first date."

They both chuckled at that.

Then he stuck his proverbial neck out, and said: "So if our next date is our third date, does that mean you'll sleep with me then as well?"

There was a slight pause, which seemed to him to take an age to end. Had he taken things too far? Was she going to bolt out of here and rush for that fire door, to Hell with the consequences? Maybe he had disappointed her, maybe he was being crude.

But her mouth curled into a seductive smile, and she said: "Well, that just depends."

"Depends on what?" he said, innocently enough.

Then she was up on all fours, her pretty face moving towards his. She said, "On how good a kisser you are."

Sophie leaned forward, and he could not believe his luck. his world was filled with her pretty face, her sweet fragrance, her soft yet burning lips.

After his initial shock at their sudden dash to first base, he tentatively kissed her back, echoing her delicate exploration of his own lips, gazing into those sultry eyes as he breathed nothing but her glorious scent, a heady mix of sweet vanilla perfume and the subtle mustiness of her natural aroma.

he was quite breathless when at last they parted.

"Wow," she said, apparently as breathless as him.

"So did I pass?"

"Hmm..." she said, shuffling forward. "Well, I think you passed the first part of the test."

"How many parts are there?"

"Oh, lots."

Then she leaned forwards again, and once again they were sharing the sweetest of kisses. He was burning up inside, he had never kissed anyone like this before, her effect on him was like some kind of drug.

As they tangled, he touched her soft cheek, marvelling at her beauty. He gently cradled her head as their tongues danced together, and it wasn't long before her hands swept up to press him towards her, and they were locked in the most incredible heat.

"You know the perfect way to warm a girl up," she said as they parted again, both a little short on oxygen.

"Happy to be of service," he said.

"We might have to cool down a bit."

"Too much for a second date?"

"Too much for being this close to the windows!" she giggled.

"There's absolutely nobody around!"

"But there might be!"

"You want to stop?" he asked, wondering what they'd do instead, since there was now a whole different kind of energy between them.

"No," she smiled slyly, then picked up her bean bag and dropped it onto the floor beside them. "Just relocate slightly."

he dropped his own bean bag next to hers, and they did as she suggested, and were soon happily entangled once again.

Being on the floor gave them a lot more room, a lot more freedom. Benedict drew out the band from her ponytail, and as he kissed her mouth, he was able to run his fingers through her silky hair.

he caressed her face, her chin, her slender neck, luxuriating in the velvet-soft texture of her skin, teasing out a quiet moan from this exquisite creature.

The bean bags were surprisingly accommodating as they writhed together, Sophie now clamping her coltish legs around his body, pressing herself close. He could tell that all her gymnastics training made her extremely strong, as well as flexible.

he kissed his way slowly down from underneath her left ear, down her neck, and her moans grew a little in intensity.

"Oh that's nice," she moaned when he approached the base of her neck.

But then when he moved his fingers to her throat to unzip her training top, he met with resistance.

"Wait," she whispered, "I didn't get time to shower after gymnastics."

"It doesn't matter," he said, with a soothing tone he hoped to encourage her to open up, without feeling in any way forced. "I want you. just the way you are."

He tasted her lips once again, and felt her resistance melt away, and she was actively unfastening her training jacket by herself, drawing the zip slowly down her chest to reveal the sleek, dark material of her leotard beneath.

he felt her petite frame rise to his touch as his hands roamed over her tight leotard, exploring her tantalising curves. She had a fairly typical gymnast's figure, he guessed, slim and agile, with a flat stomach and small waist, while her breasts were fairly large, they appeared very sensitive to his soft caresses.

She was so hot to the touch, even through her leotard, the material seemed to be a perfect conductor of her heat.

he brushed his palms gently over her chest, finding her nipples hard now, poking up against the thin material. Through her leotard, he teased the little buttons, forcing out some louder moans from Sophie though their lips were still locked firmly together, while her pretty eyes flashed at him with unbridled lust.

As he continued to caress the soft curves of her breasts, grazing her nipples with the tips of his fingers, he slowly kissed his way down her neck once again, taking it further this time without the hindrance of her jacket, to the edge of her gymnastics costume.

That daintily musty aroma from her earlier workout was a touch stronger lower down, but only seemed to spur him on, stirring his blood and making his heart pound in his chest.

He wanted so much more.

He was careful to watch for any signs that she might be uncomfortable with how far they were taking this, they had, after all, only really known each other for a brief time. But she seemed in no mood to stop, quietly groaning as he took one of her little buds in his mouth, teasing it with his tongue through the thin leotard while his hands continued to coax her breasts and sweep down to explore the elegant curves of her waist and back.

"You're so beautiful," he said in barely more than a whisper, and she just beamed at him in reply before moaning once again as he slipped his fingers under the edge of her relatively low-cut leotard, to glide over her bare skin and down to those stiff little nipples.

he felt her tremble as he touched her bare breasts, her body writhing at the sensations flowing through her.

Stroking her nipples with his fingers, he caressed her belly with his lips, breathing in that alluring scent while planting kisses over her graceful contours. Her aroma grew stronger as he approached the waistband of her sweatpants and he thought he detected the first traces of her arousal.

he couldn't get enough of it. Call him greedy if you will, but he just wanted more and more.

Fearing that she'd feel they were going too far, that she'd call a halt to everything any moment, he very gradually nudged against the top of her sweatpants, gently easing the material downwards to edge closer and closer towards her promised land.

Each time he got a little closer, he kissed his way back up her stomach to her breasts, taking her stiff little nipples back inside his hot mouth, albeit through her leotard.

Her breathing was more like a series of sighs now, she was lying back with her head turned to the side, just letting the sensations wash over her. She didn't look as though she wanted to stop any time soon.

The adrenalin was buzzing around his system, his heart beating like a drum in a rock band. He paused, wondering if he should play it safe, take it slow, and keep to the area they had already explored.

It has to be said, it was already quite far for a first date, whatever they were calling it now. he would have been perfectly happy if she wanted to slow it down, of course, but there and then he decided he wasn't going to take the safe option just then. he had stop if she wanted, but the possibilities were so tantalising, he had to at least try.

Subtly, attempting to avoid any chance that she'd suddenly become afraid or nervous, he shifted slightly, downwards, still lying beside her where she had the option to flee if she needed to, but coming to rest in a position where he could pursue a more thrilling course.

He was kissing delicately along the thin material of her leotard, just above her waistline but again nudging her sweatpants down a little, when she reached down to unfasten the cord tied around her waist. If this wasn't an invitation to continue, he doesn't know what it was.

It set his pulse racing again, the thought buzzing around his head that this exquisite creature was opening herself up to him, that he might get to sample her sweet nectar , even after just a few hours of knowing her.

He felt like the luckiest guy in the world, and once she had the knot unfastened, he gently slid her sweatpants down over her slender hips, revealing the rest of her leotard, her sweet mound, her smooth thighs. She actively helped him to pull the garment off her, boosting his own confidence and reassuring him a little that she was warm enough to part with it just then.

"You think we're moving beyond the realms of the second date?" she said, looking down at him with those big doe eyes.

"You want to stop?" he asked, with a sly smile that implied that he was fairly sure she didn't.

"We could just call this the start of our third date," she said, one of her hands running through his hair.

"That sounds good to me," he said, kissing her upper thigh, just below the high-cut arch of her leotard, tasting that slight saltiness on her skin.

Then she touched his chin, tilted his head up to look into her eyes, and she said: "You don't have to. I mean, I know I had gymnastics earlier and"

"I can't get enough of you," he said interrupting her, kissing her lower abdomen just an inch or two above that exhilarating rise of her mound.

"Mmm... then take whatever you want..." she replied with a moan that made him quiver inside.

He kissed the bare skin over her hips, then down to her inner thighs, indulging himself in her beauty, her velvet skin, and that fizzing sense of anticipation as he edged closer to the very centre of her arousal.

Her skin was already warm to the touch, but as he moved closer to the edge of her leotard, the heat grew noticeably, along with the unmistakable aroma of her juices.

Then he was brushing over her mound, her leotard moist to the touch, his nose and mouth pressing gently into her raw heat. He had repositioned himself between her slender thighs, and it was like every one of his senses was saturated with her.

Sophie was lying back again, her eyes closed, her arms by her sides, her hands clutching at the beanbag beneath her as he ran his tongue slowly along the thin material covering her pussy.

Tasting her, such a glorious spicy cocktail, now it was his turn to moan softly, letting out his own feelings while letting her know just how much he loved to be there, just how much he adored such intimate contact. She seemed to relax a little at this reassurance, to know he wasn't just doing this to impress her, to make her feel good.

he spread his hot mouth over her lycra-covered pussy, pressing against her and feeling that slight give in the centre, her pussy lips opening up to him.

Her gentle moans gave way to a gasp as he peeled her leotard aside to reveal her pussy to the cool air and, despite the relatively poor lighting conditions, his gaze. So beautiful, so smooth under its tidy patch of dark hair, her fragrant flower drew him in.

She trembled as she felt first his hot breath on her sensitive folds, then the soft touch of his lips. Oh-so briefly, he tasted her from the source, and her moans seemed to turn almost to pleading, but rather than pile in, he moved back for a moment, kissing her inner thighs again, taking in that wonderful sight before he got too close.

Then his burning mouth returned to her soft pussy lips, and he was kissing her there, licking her, playing with her, dipping his tongue inside her to sample her sweet nectar.

He was moaning again as he tasted her spice, revelling in his being so close to her, so connected. He gently parted her legs a little more to offer him maximum access as his tongue traced the length of her slick valley, lapping up her juices.

And then he was kissing around her little clitoris, warming up the sensitive little bud before getting too close, using his fingers to caress her pussy lips before sliding gently inside her.

Her moans soon turned to blissful cries, his mouth engulfing her clit even as her pussy engulfed his middle finger, her labia tight around it in a manner that made his cock rock hard down below.

Moving from lapping up her now freely flowing juices to taking her clit into his mouth, he felt she was beginning to move towards some kind of resolution. he started to suck her clit a little more forcefully, and with his finger sought out that sensitive spot on the front wall of her pussy. 

She was writhing about under him by now, his tongue flicking over her clit, his finger being squeezed by her gymnast's muscles.

And she was coming, trembling and crying out as she did so, his tongue now swirling around her soaking labia, his nose pressed against her burning clit, her hands clamping his head to her pulsating pussy, her thighs pressing against his ears.

When her grip relaxed, he knew enough to break away from her sensitive zone, loving that the taste of her remained on his lips.

"Oh God..." was all she said for a while, over and over, breathless, lolling back as though drained of all energy. Then, "That's never happened before."

Moving up beside her, he couldn't help the curiosity: "Really?"

"I didn't think boys like to -- you know."

they edged closer to him, turning to face away from him so that He could spoon up against her.

"Some do," He said. "With the right person."

She let out a little satisfied sigh, almost a mew. "I've never felt anything like it. It was the most amazing feeling."

"It was pretty amazing for me, too," He smiled, and glanced at his watch, hoisting his eyebrows a little at the apparent fact that he had been between her thighs for about half an hour.

"I take it You like it?"

"With you, I adore it."

"How come?"

"Are you kidding? Getting that close to someone as stunning as you? How could I not? You know your pheromones can drive a guy crazy? And I was mainlining..."

"You are crazy," she said, "that's true enough."

Wedged up against her, he couldn't help but sweep his hands over her, taking in her tight curves, her wonderfully smooth skin. He moved her hair out of the way and kissed the back of her neck, the warm smell of her hair and her perfume seeming so comforting to him.

"Mmm... if you're not careful, you'll get me going again in a minute," she said, his hands brushing over her tender breasts, down her stomach.

"That's fine by me," he said softly, kissing her ear.

She smiled, "But it's my turn."

"Your turn?"

"Don't you know the rules? I show you mine, you have to show me yours."

"Ah. Well, if those are the rules..."

"They are," she insisted, and suddenly picked herself up. "I am going to get another drink, and then I'm going to take what's mine.

She did a little twirl and without putting on the rest of her clothes, she padded off towards the vending machine, performing a few little cartwheels along the way.

He watched her as she was consumed by the shadows, and then emerged in the light of the stairwell and the vending machine itself. He still had her flavour on his lips, and he savoured it, his loins now stirring at the anticipation of her return.

A loud clang from the vending machine, and she was on her way back, sipping as she went.

"You want some?" she asked as she came to a halt in front of him.

"Sure," he said, pulling himself up to his feet.

She gave him the bottle, and as he took a swig, she nearly choked him in surprise as her hands scoped out the hardness between his thighs.

"Mmm..." she grinned. "What have we got here?"

Dropping down to kneel in front of him, she quite suddenly slid his pants down over his hips, exposing him to the cold air.

"You really mean business!" he laughed.

Sophie seemed to catch her breath, then purred, "Oh, it's beautiful. Can I touch it?"

"Could I ever say 'no' to you?"

"I hope not!"

he felt her cool hands tentatively touch his stiff cock, taking in its shape, its hardness, stroking his shaft a little.

Then she leaned forward to kiss it, and he felt her hot breath on his sensitive organ. She traced his shaft with her tongue, starting towards the base, then slowly moving towards the end, planting the occasional kiss as she went along. She was trying it out, exploring.

"So smooth," she said.

"I might need to sit down," he said.

With a smile, she put a foot down on his pants so that he would have to remove them to relocate, which he did without much protest. he perched on the window seat once more, his back to the window to shield them from the prying eyes that Sophie thought might be there, though really were not.

She placed a bean bag between his feet and knelt down in front of him once again.

"Ready?" she asked, flashing a broad smile with those beautiful eyes somehow lit up.

he replied: "more than."

"Okay," she said, then gave him a serious look for a moment, "and don't you stop until you're ready , if you get my meaning."

"Whatever you say."

Then he felt his cock engulfed in her warmth, her tongue swirling around his sensitive tip while she seemed to roll the head of his cock around her mouth, letting it fill her, then withdraw, then refill that wonderful hotness, those pretty lips stretched around him.

he could do little but gasp at the sensations rippling through his body, he was having a hard time remembering to support himself as he leaned back towards the window.

As she tended to him with her mouth, she also used her hands to explore him, taking in his thighs and calves as well as up to his hard cock. She cradled his balls softly and flashed him a cheeky smile.

Then she was focussing all efforts on his erection, teasing out a deep moan from him as she upped the tempo, her head beginning to bob up and down on his shaft.

It was wonderful, and the adoration in her eyes when she looked up at him just took it to a whole new level, and he knew he wouldn't last long. The vibrations from her own breathing and little moans helped build up this energy inside him that could not be held back.

he could feel his orgasm surging up, and for a moment, hoped he hadn't misinterpreted her earlier request for him to keep going. The energy bubbled up inside him, and suddenly it was too late to hold back, his cock throbbing as his hot seed emerged.

Sophie seemed happy enough to take his come in her mouth, and as he came down from the great high she'd taken him to, she was lapping at his softening cock and making little contented noises.

"God you have a beautiful cock," she said, pulling away from him as he became just that little bit too sensitive to continue.

"I just can't get enough."

he returned her smile, "You can have as much as you like," he said.

"I'll hold you to that, mister."

He felt the cold pretty quickly afterwards, and reached for his pants as Sophie took to performing a few cartwheels in front of him.

"Are you not a little cold?" he asked, since she seemed in no hurry to put on her training jacket or sweatpants.

"Not even a little bit!" she said mid-spin, "feels like I'm burning up inside!"

She came to a halt and stepped between his legs, where he could hold onto her, his hands pressed to her little waist. True enough, he could feel her heat through that thin leotard -- she wasn't even a little bit cold.

"I'm buzzing all over," she said, her elfin face so beautiful as she looked down at him like that, smouldering with desire.

he couldn't help but slip his hands round to her shapely little butt, and ducked forward to plant a kiss just above her mound.

He knew what she meant -- it felt like a thousand Christmases happening at once, he was still shaking a little from the raw adrenaline flowing through his system as a result of merely being with this hot little gymnast. But underneath that, he could tell well enough how cold it was.

"I think I might need some chocolate to get my energy back," he said.

Thankfully, the vending machine was relatively well stocked with calorific candy bars, no doubt to keep those little grey cells going when students were up against their deadlines. They had enough change for a Mars Bar each, which they both devoured like ravenous beasts, perched on the nearest step in the stairwell.

"So I've lost track of which date we're on now," he said between mouthfuls of chocolate.

"I think we must be on number five or six by now," she said. "The things you did to me, we must be."

"So does that mean it's all right for us to sleep together?"

"I think it's now required," she grinned.

"So what's next?"

Sophie jumped to her feet, then reached out for his hands, which he presented to her only to be pulled up himself. "Next," she said, "we should head up to the top floor."

"What's up there?"

"Oh, nothing much..." there was a glint in her eye.

So, curious as to what was on her mind, he followed her up to the top of the building, where it turned out her target was the female restroom.

"See you in a minute," she said, stopping him outside the door.

She went inside, and the door closed behind her, leaving him waiting there, standing in the glow from the stairwell and facing the dark shelves. He was beginning to wonder what she was planning, but then she came back out, too quick for a bathroom break, he thought.

"That was quick," he said.

"Got what I came for," she said, with that mischievous glint in her eyes again.

She held up her hand, and inside it was a box of condoms.

"Are you shocked?" she asked meekly.

He was Rock hard between his thighs, he thought his cock was making some kind of a statement, but his brain was a little unsure what to say.

In a little haze of lust and surprise, he said: "Well, if we are on date five or six..."

"Exactly," she grinned, and walked past him. "Come on, I can't wait."

She walked into the bookshelves, no longer concerned about the darkness in fact, actively seeking it out, walking along a crack in the floor tiles like it was a balancing beam. As she went, he couldn't help but stare at her sexy butt squeezed inside that leotard.

A moment later, he managed to break out of his daze, scampering after his horny little gymnast.

"Must be a table around here, somewhere," she was saying as he caught up. There was, and she didn't waste a moment perching on its edge, holding out her arms to pull him towards her.

They kissed again, the sparks flying as her tongue slipped inside his mouth. As they tangled, her hands were pulling his clothes off, and his hands were in her hair, then slipping down to the neckline of her leotard and under the thin material.

"Wait," she said, stopping him from peeling it off her. "I want you to fuck me in my gymnastics costume."

"Okay..."

She grinned, "Maybe it'll be my lucky suit from now on."

Then off came his boxers, and Sophie was tearing open a condom packet, peeling the thing down his erect cock.

He stopped briefly, nudging aside her damp leotard to reveal the pretty petals of her open pussy. He kissed around it a little, savouring her juices and running his tongue up to envelope her clit in his hot mouth.

She was already so wet he just craved that tangy, saltiness of her pussy one last time before he filled it.

Then she was coaxing him upwards and forwards, pulling him close so his hardness pressed against her heat.

"Fuck me," she said, gazing into his eyes.

Careful to keep their protection in place, he touched the head of his cock at the entrance to her pussy, feeling that irresistible heat radiating from her as he nudged forwards.

Looking in her beautiful almond eyes, he eased inside her, sliding his shaft into her tightness, feeling her enclose him, her feet coming up behind him to pull him in. Her arousal was obvious as he glided inside her, her juices coating his cock.

"Oh God, that's amazing," she breathed. He thought he murmured something in reply, but it was all a little overwhelming to say anything intelligible.

he withdrew, and the expression on her pretty face was almost one of pleading, desperate for more. Slick with her juices already, he thrust his cock back inside her, his entire shaft tingling with the ecstatic sensations of her hot pussy enveloping him and the exquisite feeling of being inside such a beautiful girl as Sophie.

Gazing back into his eyes, his pretty little gymnast let out a quiet gasp, her lips spreading in a blissful smile.

they moved together, slowly at first, though building up pace in no time. Kissing her, caressing her, holding her, it was the most blissful sensation he had ever experienced. Her pussy was so firm, so hot as it squeezed his shaft.

She lay back against the tabletop, and his hands found their way around her smooth curves to the gentle rise of her chest, and her hard little nipples straining against her leotard.

The air was thick with the scent of her arousal, blended with her perfume, which seemed to drive him on like some kind of magic.

Then, quite suddenly, all the lights in the library were switched on.

For a long moment, they froze mid-thrust, looking at each other with the kind of dazed surprise that a rabbit might have when facing a pair of oncoming headlamps.

they were still apart from the rise and fall of their chests as they drew in oxygen to recover from their exertions.

There was a curious mixture of emotions, both of them so swamped with adrenaline, their bodies wracked with lust for each other. His cock was still so hard, buried inside her, and even though he was more than a little nervous that they were about to be discovered, it was still such a thrill to be inside her, and she was now bathed in light, revealing her full beauty to him.

That moment seemed to go on for ages. they did nothing but listen, and eventually heard the low sound of voices. They were somewhere on the bottom floor, and to him the obvious source was a couple of security guards doing a routine patrol.

Whoever it was down there, they didn't seem to be rushing their patrol. The library was fairly large, so after that momentary freeze, he thought both of them started to relax at once.

"We should get out of here," he whispered.

Sophie flashed him a look of pure lust.

"I'm so close," she said, "Just a little longer?"

He raised his eyebrows at the riskiness of the suggestion, but slowly began to move inside her, squeezing his hips to withdraw, then thrust again.

"You'd better be quiet," he whispered, as she started moaning quietly again.

"I'll try," she said. "Now fuck me! I'm right on the edge!"

With her prompting, he penetrated her hot pussy, building up his power until they were both shaking the table as they writhed together.

He wondered if the prospect of being caught added to the thrill of the situation, for it really took no time at all before Sophie was trembling again with another orgasm, and he could see her desperately trying to stifle her cries as the forceful climax swept through her petite frame.

Caressing her slender curves as he continued to thrust inside her, he held himself a little in check until he was absolutely certain she was over the edge and there was no heading back.

At last, he released and felt that glorious sensation of his hot seed flowing out inside the condom.

Spent, he collapsed on top of her for a brief lull, and they were kissing again, feeling so at one with each other.

Then the overriding imperative of their lust began to fade, and the sense of panic started to return. Where were the security guards?

He lifted himself up and reached down for his clothes, the condom discarded in a thankfully full bin. Sophie sat up to pull the crotch of her leotard over to re-cover up her sweet little pussy.

"Where are they?" she asked in another whisper.

he paused, listening. "I think they're coming up the stairs," he said. "But they're not on this floor yet."

"What if they're coming to get us?"

"Because of my flashlight antics?" he asked.

"I don't know," she smiled, "maybe flashing is against uni rules."

"Can't be. Half the Union groups would be shut down."

She giggled, "Come on!" and grabbed his hand, and they were off again, this time skulking through the shelves like a couple of cat burglars.

"We could just tell them we got locked in," he suggested in a hushed voice.

"If we were both fully dressed and didn't smell like sex, that might have worked," Sophie grinned. "If they find me like this, I think we'd be in trouble."

"D'you think we can get past them?" she asked. "Maybe get out of here?"

Part of him was a little sad at this possibility, craving more time with this hot little gymnast. they'd only had a few hours together, and although they were joking about being on their fifth or sixth date by now, the reality was that they had only just met. There was still the possibility that this would turn out to be nothing more than a crazy one-night stand.

And though he had not really taken much time out from rowing to really think about maintaining a full-on relationship, something had changed in him tonight. He wanted as much of Sophie as he could possibly get.

Still, being a man, his pride kicked in and he stifled his concerns, saying casually, "You think left the library doors unlocked?"

"There's a good chance. The trick is going to be getting past them."

They crept to the stairwell, and edged over the bannister to see if they could spot any movement, both listening out for any noise that might offer a clue as to the security guards' whereabouts.

"We could just hide," he whispered, "then continue as though they'd never come."

"We could. But wouldn't you rather have a warm bed than a whole night in this cold place?"

She had a fair point.

"I guess so," he said, perhaps a hint of regret in his voice despite the powerful sense of physical satisfaction currently flowing through his veins.

He was about to suggest that they could go back to his place, or hers, if she preferred, when she held a finger up to her lips, silencing him. they could see hands gripping the handrail a few flights below them the security guards were coming up the stairs towards them.

they poised to flee.

From the sound of them, there appeared to be two campus security guards, and they appeared in no hurry to clamber up the steps. Their voices were as relaxed as their climbing pace, and actually made them relax a little, clear as it was that they were here on a routine patrol, not targeting two horny students loose in the library.

Still, as they arrived on the floor below them, they were on a hair trigger ready to explode into a mad dash for the safety of the bookshelves behind them.

Somehow, they held their nerves. he thought if the guards had taken one more step up towards them, they would have sprang into action, but after a long pause in which it became apparent that their conversation was tending towards the following weekend's rowing competition, their patrol route veered off into the floor below them.

they waited a little longer, counting time using the pounding beats of their nervous hearts.

Then he looked at Sophie and she nodded. Silently, they pulled themselves up and took to the steps, tip-toeing their way down to the floor below.

The guards' voices were getting steadily quieter and quieter, they were heading down towards the outer perimeter of the floor, by the windows. Sophie peered around the edge of the doorway, and looked back to give him the signal to proceed. Then both of them scampered down the next flight of stairs, alert for the slightest hint that they had been discovered.

Feeling a little safer, they headed back down to the second floor where they had left their stuff.

"Do we risk it?" he whispered.

"I'm not going outside like this." he could accept that -- she had to be cold enough already dressed in nothing but her leotard. She added: "You stay here and keep a look out, I'll get your stuff too."

he nodded, and she scurried off towards their beanbags. If anything, he was feeling a little gloomy at the end of their library adventure, but if did something to thwart their chances of escape now, she might never forgive him. He had to go along with it.

A little while later, he heard the voices of the security guards again. He was almost willing them to come downstairs, to head th off at the pass and seal off their route of escape so that he might be locked up once again with Sophie.

They didn't, however, they were heading up to the top floor, and momentarily, Sophie returned dressed in her jacket and sweatpants again, clutching their papers.

"Can't forget these," she smiled.

he returned her smile, "Absolutely."

Then she grabbed his hand again, and pulled him downstairs and out towards the main entrance.

His last chance was that the security-conscious guards had re-locked the main doors behind them after they entered the building. they would then have to hide somewhere on the bottom floor and hope that they had already satisfied themselves that that floor was secure. his heart in his throat, he reached out to push the door.

It opened.

Silently, he groaned his disappointment. Was that it? Now that they were free to go wherever they wanted, would Sophie want to see him again?

Outside, it was drizzling, only adding to his sudden misery. They continued to hold hands, but paced it away from the building and possible detection by campus security. Round the next corner, they stopped to catch their breaths.

"Well I guess this is good-bye, then," he said, more than a little gloomy.

"Are you crazy?" she said in a somewhat sharp tone.

"Well..." he wasn't really sure what to say.

"You know you're required to actually sleep with me?" Her statement filled his entire being with the warmth of pure unadulterated joy.

"I am?" was all he could utter, his brain suffering something of a power overload.

"Do You do want to?" she asked, and there was now a hint of worry in her voice and heartbreak evident on her face.

"Of course! I'd give anything to..."

"Good," she grinned, and grabbed a hold of his hand again. "Only, we're not going to sleep very much."

"No? I like the sound of that."

"No," said Sophie. "We're going to go back to my place so I can have that long-overdue shower..."

"And then?"

"And then I'm going to tear off your clothes and fuck the living daylights out of you."

She looked at him with those big, beautiful eyes, and he knew that for them, this night was only just beginning in and that it was going to turn out to be the best night of his life so far and the start of something very special. 

[cassieuncaged]

Wrapped in Plastic

A Laura Palmer Character Study

TW: drug use, prostitution, murder, death, tobacco language, etc.

WC: 1.3 K

A/N: Another I forgot to cross post from AO3. Also, Laura is 18 in this fic.

Taglist: @roofgeese, @spacestephh, @voidika, @huepazu, @quantum-lover, @chadillacboseman

AO3 Link

She was a bad influence, everyone thought so. The homecoming queen was the opposite of what that pristine picture had suggested. She’d been doped up when the photographer snapped that picture, doing a bump with Bobby in the woods before the dance.

Laying sprawled across the green sofa, Laura was entranced by the plaster ceiling. Off white, a rosy pink. Like a pinprick of blood tainting crisp water: just enough to make it dirty and undrinkable. If she were a lake, the waters would run dark burgundy. How toxic could one person be?

Sucking on a cigarette, Donna sat cross legged on the carpet. Every little puff was accentuated with a wheezing cough. Accusing eyes rolled in the periphery, sharp blue addressing her innocent friend.

“You don’t have to smoke, y’ know?” Annoyance seep into a lazy voice. Everything Laura did, Donna tried. The girl was a damn mynah bird. Then again, Laura had always been the popular trailblazer. The other was a bookworm, with those mousy curls and oversized sweaters. Donna wasn’t a risk taker; her best friend’s mere presence felt like a high in comparison.

“I know,” stifling another cough, she attempted to swallow the smoke which only worsened the situation. “My fingers smell like tobacco.”

“That’ll happen,” sinking into the sofa, she tried not to think about her mother complaining about the lingering smell. Pure hypocrisy since Sarah smoked like a chimney herself. Eyes sought the ceiling again, following a hairline crack. The façade was beginning to break and chip.

It was bound to collapse and crush her in the debris.

......

Tears rolled down ruddy cheeks. A blonde reflection shuddered in the floor length mirror, all but completely exposed in a black and red corset. The garment was stitched with ribbons emblazoned with maroon spades.

Other clients were waiting and Blackie had a temper with her girls. Leave a man waiting too long normally meant the paddle or hands wrapped your throat. Instead, she silently suffered the embarrassment and shame long after Ben Horne had sauntered out of the room.

She’d see Audrey in homeroom tomorrow, innocent doe eyes warm and blissfully unaware. This was Laura’s cross to bear after all. Maybe she’d meet Bobby in the afternoon, score some coke and neck long enough to keep the boy satisfied. Anything to dull the nightmares that came at dusk, when BOB slithered his way into her room.

Wise beyond her eighteen years, everything the young woman did was meticulously calculated. Even though that still cost her more than it all was worth. Mascara bled down peachy cheeks, tainting the dewy faced façade it had taken hours to achieve.

There was a knock on the door before it was wrenched open.

“Next john is ready and-” charcoal eyes widened as the madam saw the mess sitting in front of the vanity, “Honey, you’re a mess.”

“I’m alright,” Laura sniffled, adjusting her bustier. This was all so humiliating. Blackie took a rag to a welting face, pressing the cool cloth to her skin. One tooth snuck onto a cherry red lip, biting nervously. Watery blue eyes fell on the woman’s corkscrew curls, trying to count each ringlet to ease her mind. “I’m alright. I’m alright. I’m alright.”

“The swelling’s going down, sweetie.” The edge of a slender index finger slid beneath one eye. Laura feared she looked like a raccoon. “Let’s reapply the mascara and rouge. You’ll look good as new.”

It had only taken several minutes to restore seraphim that old perverts looked for. A pretty blonde angel that brought them heaven on earth for a couple hours. Realistically, it was a rather ordinary few minutes before she was disposed of like a used tissue.

But that didn’t much matter.

“I’ll send in your next.” Blackie announced before sauntering out the door. Blinking at her blue eyed husk, Laura took a Carnivale masque from the vanity. The garment was polish porcelain with burgundy lips. Black and red diamonds were hand painted across one eye as a matching silk ribbon bloomed from either side.

A bothersome thought kept sneaking to the forefront of her brain, the thought that she should put it on, to hide. Trance like, the object was tied into barrel curled blonde hair. The door squeaked open, announcing the arrival of the next john.

“I’ll be right there, please get comfortable.” Grateful for the silken room divider, a shadow ambled to the four-post bed.

“Take your time.” That voice sent a cold chill down her spine, gut churning at that familiar voice.

“Daddy?” whispering to her reflection, Laura quickly shoved her fist into her mouth. Biting down on one knuckle, she plotted a way to escape. Maybe it wasn’t Leland. Afterall, waspy middle-aged men all bled together: pointedly cordial and awkwardly paternal.

If it were, she’d still have to pass him to run away, embarrassing the two of them in the process. Plastering the mask to her face, Laura quickly pulled her robe on before slinking past the divider.

“I think there’s been a-” horror flashed over her eyes. Leland Palmer hadn’t been there to begin with. It was BOB. Sporting stained denim, malevolent eyes beamed at her hungrily, fist clenching and unclenching at his side.

She screamed, tears flooding down her face once more. But no one would save her, not at One Eyed Jack’s. BOB screamed with her before breaking out on a fit of maniacal laughter. Then a hand was hot on her face, knocking the mask to the ground.

“I think you’re too pretty to hide.” He growled, kissing her roughly as fingers clamped around her throat.

......

“You ever think about dying?” Laura asked blankly, sitting stiffly on the picnic blanket. James lay with his head in her lap while Donna hugged her knees.

“Why do you always say dark shit like that?” James’s was soft, not judgmental yet genuinely curious.

“We’re all gonna die someday, suppose it doesn’t hurt to bring up.” Donna shrugged beneath her mop of curls. She wished to sport a wave of golden tresses like her best friend but feared she was doomed to boast unruly hair with innumerable freckles.

Laura would always be the homecoming queen, and she the homecoming queen’s best friend.

“You’re both morose. What’s wrong with just living?” James chuckled, looking up into suede blue eyes. There was trouble lurking in those waters, something he didn’t recognize.

What if I told you I don’t have much time left on this planet? That BOB’s going to destroy me and trap me in the unknown? What about that, James?

“Guess I’m just thinking about the future.” Was all she offered instead, bopping him on the nose. “Do we have any more pie left?”

“Half of an apple from The Double R. Norma said it was on the house.” Donna moved to unwrap the dessert.

“Do you think there’s pie in heaven?” Laura looked over the bluff, thinking of what her afterlife would feel like. Probably lighter, softer than the serrated edge of the inevitable end. Maybe there would rest after bone broke like balsa wood, rancid ichor staining pink silk.

Donna unceremoniously plopped a generous serving of pie onto a paper plate, sliding it across rough gingham. Shrugging James off her plaid skirt, Laura lunged forward to enjoy the delicacy as if it were her last. For all she knew, it was.

“Sure,” Donna stroked aimlessly at blonde hair, “There’ll be pie in heaven.”

......

It was lonely in The Black Lodge. Other than the real Dale Cooper, she had no allies. Only waiting with rigidity for the unknown. A part of her hated the agent, the fact that he was alive and could communicate normally.

Her own words were warped, coming out of her lips with a stilted staccato.

But one hand spread over a black velvet shoulder, golden curls cascading down her back.

Before she could even ask “rof gnitiaw ew era tahW?”, Cooper pointed to the apex of thick red curtains. Blue light exploded into the room as an angel slowly dropped from the high vaulted ceiling. A smile was plastered across cherubic features before tears flooded down her face.

Smiling for the last time, Laura Palmer had won her redemption.

[deepest-dope]

i know i said that i was done horse posting but what i meant was actually that i was done posting about great khan horses. im gonna talk about horses with jobs now, the fine horses employed under the mojave express. i think they have horse insurance as one of the benefits they offer among other things, like making shooting you technically a crime. you can either sign up for one of the companies already tamed and insured horses after a certain length of time working for them and getting it approved by your immediate superior and the mojave express will handle everything from choosing the horse for you getting it a full set of gear complete with a feedbag and waterskin just for the horse to training you if you dont already know how to ride and then at any outpost they will have a stable set up complete with enough water and feed to care for the horse there and restock for the road. they also have horse veterinarians to care for your horse. this is getting kind of long so under the cut for the rest

OR if you already own a horse or have the skills to catch and tame one you can bypass the application process and just get your horse insured under the company policy and access all of the above amenities. the main benefit to this is not having to deal with whatever horse the company assigns you but if for any reason your horse dies on the job the company will replace your horse the same way they would one of their own with some paperwork of course. or you can always go through the process of finding your own and registering it with the company again. i think this is what cave did for his horse, the great khans let him sit in on micro's horse lessons when he could so he knows how to catch, break, and train a horse with a decent amount of skill, though he only really knows how to ride bareback. the khans didnt have a kit to spare for him. jessup still cares for the horse cave was trained on, it wont let anyone else ride it and barely tolerates jessup caring for it. caves great khan horse is a huuuge bitch, one of those mares if you know what i mean. a chestnut mare. she has ane extra eye in the middle of her forehead to enhance her judging stare. she doesnt really have a name, cave didnt want to get TOO attached to her, so shes mostly referred to either as chestnut or insults because of her less then stellar temperament.

the horse cave has registered under the mojave express is one he caught after his relationship with jessup took a turn for the worse. a spotted gelding named polkadots only because cave had to put a name for the horse on the mojave express insurance paperwork. polkadots was not a gelding before cave caught him, cave did the gelding himself actually. the great khans didnt even really teach him how he just watched one of them geld a horse, learned why, and copied what that khan did from memory. polkadots is a total lovebug for some reason, like weirdly affectionate for a wild caught horse, cave thinks it might just be an escaped horse or something hes that sweet on people. all of caves coworkers at the mojave express loved polkadots, especially johnson nash and his wife. they all spoiled the fuck out of polkadots with mutfruit and carrot treats. polkadots is super duper closely bonded with cave though, primarily because they had to get trained by the mojave express to work with a saddle and other such gear together. cave tries not to spoil polkadots as much as everyone else at the express outpost does, he doesnt really succeed. he takes better care of polkadots then he does himself really, the only reason he doesnt skip meals to feed it is the free horse food alloted to couriers like him. jessup steals polkadots after looting cave's not-quite-dead body of everything of sentimental value. polkadots doesnt really hold this against him and for some reason that makes jessup feel waaay guiltier. oh shit forgot polkadots has a 5th leg on his side, he doesnt really use it, he actually tucks its up under himself when running but he can use it to brake himself akira slide style.

[thechaoticfanartist]

Live Today and Live Tomorrow

Summary: Grim and Obi-Wan in the first few days after Order 66.

Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Grim Kennet (OC)

Additional Tags: Obi-Wan is called Ben, Grim is called Rue, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post Order 66

Note: I wrote this fic over a month ago after @bluejay-in-write sent a fake title for a story and completely forgot to post it.

After everything that happened, it was time for Grim and Obi-Wan to find a new home. Where they could watch over Luke, and begin new lives.

At last the two Jedi stopped. “Here we are,” said Obi-Wan as he got off the eopie they were riding.

“A cave?” Grim asked, curiously. “But in the next movie you live in a hut.”

“And when does the next movie take place?” Obi-Wan asked her.

“Nineteen years from now,” she replied.

“In that case, perhaps I will get a hut in the future, but for now it’s been a very long day and we both need rest.”

Grim yawned. “But it’s only dawn?”

“And when was the last time either of us slept?”

“I’m pretty sure I was sleeping when getting my new arm,” she joked, gesturing to her new metal replacement.

“Very well, but I haven’t had any sleep recently, and I know you haven’t gotten much sleep at all in the past days. So for now let's get some sleep and discuss what the future will hold for us in the morning.”

“Okay,” said Grim. “But if you don’t get a hut this year-”

“Grim, let’s not start this.”

“Fine,” she agreed. She slid off the eopie and entered the cave after Obi-Wan. “It’s not big,” she noted needlessly.

“It doesn’t need to be big, it just needs to shelter us and keep us hidden.”

“True.”

Neither Jedi had much, so they didn’t bother to unpack. There were only two rooms in the cave, the main room in which they entered, that also had another opening - Grim thought that would be a great place for meditation - and a room with a giant rock on the floor. She supposed that would be the bed.

Grim and Obi-Wan used their cloaks for blankets. The day’s events had tired the Jedi Master so he slept first, but Grim could not sleep.

She found her lightsaber and went outside, sitting down in the sand, staring at the lightsaber in her hand. She held it out in front of her, her metal fingers wrapped around the hilt. She recalled when she first created it, the joy she had felt, and how she considered it her first step on the path of becoming a Jedi.

Grim smiled at the memory. So bittersweet now that she knew she couldn’t ignite the blade. That would endanger too many people.

She set the weapon beside her. And drew in a breath, exhaled, and then sunk into the Force.

It was empty now. Grim was used to the light, to the countless stars in the night sky. Now those stars were gone. She felt sad as she was unable to reach the stars, the ones who had died today. A grief filled her and she tried to focus closer. She felt Obi-Wan, always so bright, and she smiled.

At some point Grim must have managed to get some sleep, because she was gently woken up by Obi-Wan. She also realized she fell asleep outside. “I made breakfast,” Obi-Wan told her.

“Breakfast?” Grim asked.

"Yes," said Obi-Wan. "And I doubt sleeping on sand was any good for your new arm," he added.

“Ah, kriff, I didn’t think of that,” said Grim.

Neither Obi-Wan or her had changed out of the outfits they left Polis Massa in yet. For Obi-Wan that meant he was still wearing his same robes from Utapau and Mustafar, but Grim had gotten a new outfit before she was knighted. Though her robes lacked sleeves, and therefore left her entire metal arm exposed.

“I don’t think any sand got in it if you’re worried about that,” Obi-Wan told her. “But you might want to have something covering it from now on,” he suggested.

“Yeah, good idea, Master.”

“You’re not a Padawan anymore, and we can’t even use our names now,” Obi-Wan replied.

“We’ll discuss this over breakfast?”

“That was the idea.”

They went back inside the cave, and Obi-Wan set up breakfast for the two of them. They sat down and began to eat. “I know what name you choose,” said Grim. “You’ll be Ben Kenobi.”

“Well that was easy, although why do I still have the same last name?”

“Ask yourself, Kenobi,” joked Grim. “That was something established long before I ever interfered with things.”

“Well, with my name taken care of, what about yours?”

Grim took another bite as she considered the question. “Rue,” she decided after a long moment.

“Rue?” Ben asked. “That sounds like a good name for you, what about your last name?”

“I’m not sure,” admitted Grim. “Actually, I may have an idea?”

“What is it?” Ben asked.

“Well, people used to think we’re related. And…well I do kind of look like I could be your daughter? And…er, this is embarrassing, but what if we embraced that? Like, I could be Rue Kenobi? And I’d be your daughter?” She looked at her breakfast to avoid seeing Obi-Wan’s reaction.

“Rue…” Ben started. “I know you looked to me as a father, and I have seen you like my own daughter. I think that would be a wonderful idea.”

She looked up at him, her vision blurred by tears of joy. “Really?”

“Yes, young one,” he confirmed, smiling.

Rue hugged Ben, crying into his shoulder. “That means so much to me. Thank you.” Ben held Rue until she let go of him. Rue wiped away her tears. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Ben told her. “But I am.”

“For what, dad?"

“What I’m suggesting. Our lightsabers mark us as Jedi. We must stay hidden.”

“We’re already living in a cave on a backwater world,” Rue pointed out.

“Yes, one run by the Hutts, and there will no doubt be a higher demand of bounties on Jedi.”

Rue sighed, Ben made a valid point. “Do you think the Empire would also try to gain a stronger presence here than the Republic did?” she asked.

“You tell me, Rue. But I would not be surprised if the Empire tried to get a stronger grip on these worlds,” Ben replied. “Which is why I believe we should bury our lightsabers somewhere out in the desert. Anakin’s as well.”

“But you taught me that our lightsabers are our lives. Can we not just keep them hidden in this cave somewhere?”

“And our time as Jedi is over. It’s too big of a risk to keep them on us, even hidden in this cave. We have to stay hidden, and that means we cannot keep our lightsabers."

“I’m knighted only to not be allowed to be a Jedi,” sighed Grim. She knew that was the case anyways, but the reality of it sunk in with Obi-Wan’s suggestion.

“I’m very sorry, little one,” Obi-Wan told her. “This should have never been the case.”

“No, it shouldn’t have,” agreed Grim. “I should have told you.”

“It has already happened,” said Ben. “We need to focus on what we will do for the future now.”

“That’s too hard to think about. I’ve thought about nothing but the future for three years, dad. And look where that led us.”

“Now that is the past, so let us focus on the moment. One day at a time,” Ben suggested.

“One day at a time. So what do we do today?”

“We should unpack what little we have and try to make this cave into our home,” said Ben. “And bury our lightsabers. But we can wait one more day, all right?”

Rue nodded. “Okay.”

After they finished their breakfast, Rue and Ben began to unpack the little things of their past they still had.

There really wasn’t much at all. As Jedi they did not hold onto much, and even if they had most of it had been destroyed in the Purge. So most of the day was spent trying to make their cave into a place they could call home.

Once again, it didn’t take much. The cave had very little, and the Jedi only needed themselves. It may not have been the grand Jedi Temple on Coruscant, but they made do. They had finished before noon.

Ben and Rue sat down outside, looking at the view of the desert. Nothing but sand for miles. They had been able to fool themselves that the tragedy of yesterday had never happened, but it had only been temporary relief from all of that grief. One that now crashed down upon the two Jedi.

They held each other, and mourned their family together.

The following day it was Rue waking Ben. He looked at her with wide eyes, recovering from whatever nightmare had been occuring. She already knew.

“Rue,” Ben sighed relieved. “I’m sorry if I woke you."

“I was already up,” Rue replied. “Was it about Anakin?”

Ben nodded. “He was my brother, and I killed him, Rue. I killed Anakin.”

Rue sat down beside him and wrapped Ben into a hug. “I know, I’m sorry,” she said. She was lying to him. She knew Anakin lived, but she couldn’t tell him, even despite him claiming he killed Anakin.

Ben cried, and Rue held him. When Ben stopped crying, Rue let go. “I’ll make us some breakfast today,” she told him.

She did just that and returned with their breakfast. They ate in silence. Ben was the one who broke it once he had finished eating. “We have to bury our lightsabers today,” he said.

Rue nodded. She remembered their conversation the day prior. “Yes, I know.”

“If you don’t want to come with me that’s fine, I can bury your lightsaber on my own,” said Ben, knowing how she was opposed to it.

“No, dad. I want to go with you. I can bury my lightsaber,” Rue told him.

“All right, Rue.”

The two set off on their eopie. “Do you have a certain place in mind where we’ll be burying our lightsabers?”

“We’re not burying our lightsabers in any particular place. It has to be in the middle of nowhere, so they won’t be found.”

“Who is going to be digging through the sand of Tatooine to find the lightsabers of Jedi?” Grim asked. She thought Ben was being overly paranoid about being discovered.

“No one, which is exactly why we’re burying them.”

“Then why can’t we bury them outside our home?”

“Because in the case they were discovered it would mark us as Jedi.”

“But if they aren’t near us, we can’t be considered suspects.”

“Exactly,” said Ben. The two of them stopped. “This would be a good place.”

Rue frowned as she got off the eopie. Ben had managed to get a shovel for the two of them, and so they took turns digging a hole. Once it was completed they got the box they had brought with them to bury their lightsabers in.

One lightsaber was already in it, Anakin’s lightsaber. Rue and Ben looked at it for a long moment. Both thinking of the brother they had shared - and to Ben, the brother he had killed. “I’m sorry,” said Obi-Wan.

“Me too,” said Grim.

The two Jedi held out their lightsabers. They looked at each other before putting their weapons in the box.

They put the box in the hole. Grim looked at Obi-Wan, “can I use the Force?” she asked him quietly. “Just one more time?” She almost broke at the question.

“One more time,” he said. “The both of us.”

They connected to the Force, ignoring all of the darkness and emptiness and focusing on the light that still lived. They grabbed the sand with it, and together they buried their lightsabers.They opened their eyes and looked at each other.

No longer Jedi. No longer Obi-Wan Kenobi and Grim Kennet.

Rue trembled. Tears filling her eyes. “We never should have had to do that,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

Ben wrapped an arm around her. “It isn’t your fault,” he told her. “No matter how you feel about it.”

“And it isn’t yours.”

Tears filled Ben’s eyes as well. The two stood there for a moment. Looking down at the spot where they had buried themselves.

“Let’s go home, Ben. We lived, let’s keep living.”

“Yes, let’s keep living.”

Rue and Ben Kenobi left the grave of Grim Kennet and Obi-Wan Kenobi, and headed home. They had both survived and died on Mustafar, victims of Order 66, but the two would live as well.

Their story wasn’t over, not yet.

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added or removed) : @padme--amygdala @soclonely @mrfandomwars @jgvfhl @starlonkedd @milfspectre1 @togrutanduin @jedi-valjean @one-real-imonkey @traygaming @roseofalderaan @keoxus  @dykerebel @veiled-in-stars @sentineljedi @spicysucculentz @amelia-song-pond @kohtoyah @saturnsokas @thejediprincessqueenofnaboo @veradragonjedi @arrthurpendragon @bluejay-in-write

[claudiajcregg]

S5 Pregnancy AU - I’d love to hear about!

Welp, this is embarrassing – mostly because this has been sitting in my inbox for almost two weeks, and I kept saying “I need to write something up!” and then… I didn't. (Or rather, I did, then I forgot to post it.) Sorry for the wait, Lil! Thank you for asking <3 (I'll divide this up because I keep writing about the process and how it came to be, instead of any actual, interesting facts.)

I have talked about this one in the past though I don't have a tag for it. The gist is what it says… (Early) S5 but CJ is pregnant. I had this idea over a year ago when I hit mid/late S4 in my rewatch. I thought it'd be interesting to explore some of her disappointment at that time if you added an unexpected pregnancy to it, even if I had the idea before even getting there, lol. Think, the ending-ish of Han, or parts of Disaster Relief. (Both of which do feature! I surprisingly focus a lot on Disaster Relief.)

The thing with S5 is that the timeline is so weird, and I feel I've also created one that isn't entirely realistic but I think it works within the story. (IIRC, the season starts in “May” but also July, then the Shutdown is in November, lmao. A few of the episodes are sneaky two-parters that flow into each other… See 5-6, 7-8.) I've finally gotten out of the no-man's-land I wrote myself into and the next chapter or two, knowing myself, will deal with 7-8! There are a couple of scenes that should be fun to write! (There are so many details I want to mention that are technically spoilers for early twists…)

Every time I had the urge to write it, I'd edit whatever outline I was working in, and though I kept some details… my muse decided to make a big change early on that completely changed the fic's direction. That, and my inability to write anything succinctly. No reason why this story will cross the 100k barrier in a couple of chapters, tops. (It's sitting at 85k across 12 chapters. I think it'll be less than 20 chapters total. Hopefully.)

This might be too long to share snippets, but I've shared some either on the server or here, a couple of months ago.

For more irrelevant details on the “process”…

As I hinted at, I wrote an outline or two around this time last year, because I couldn't stop thinking about it. When I say outlines, it's a general path for the story to follow – ideas, suggestions of dialogue and/or scenes I write to myself; all focused around some sort of chapter structure. I find it much easier to write if I write down where a chapter might go, even if it's just a few lines saying “This happens → then this → finally this;” otherwise, it takes me months. Some would say that I should post it and get encouragement that way but… I hate being dependent on something I can control even less than my muse? That's not for me, thank you. Mad respect for those who work like that.

It was meant to be short – 1-2 “long” chapters per trimester, more if needed, but then interludes in between trimesters. It's not that. Most chapters currently cover 1-2 weeks, but there is not really a pattern. I was afraid of having a fic that would take over my life like the WOWO did three years ago… And it has, but I've also taken breaks and not felt too guilty about them. I definitely don't want this one to sit in my drive and have me wondering what to do with it.

(The novel, aka WOWO, aka IM AU (2021): 150k written in a little over five months, even with extended breaks over the summer. Still hits, even with all its crazy decisions, maybe because of them, but it's also been too long, and it will always remind me of someone who kinda hurt me. Attempts to replace those memories by sharing the story with others, trying to gather whether it's worth posting, have failed, lmao. One day! Maybe!)

But yeah. Uuuuuhhhh. As I've said… Twelve chapters in ten months, 85k words… It's still not done. In fact, I've repeatedly said I am unsure of how to end it (beyond the obvious), but I'd estimate it to be under 20 chapters. I'm not posting it anywhere yet because I want to be able to edit it as a whole and try to make it more consistent; to add little details as I come up with them. There's also the fact that I am not skilled enough to write a compelling story that mixes politics and emotion into something remotely engaging. As a result, the story's politics are very surface-level, and probably repetitive at points, but it's also true I've always been more interested and focused on the emotional journey and the relationship(s) at its center. (Which should surprise exactly no one who's ever read one of my stories.)

But, as critical as I might sound of myself here, I am having fun writing this and I'm committed to seeing it through. I just keep having ideas for stories down the line, putting actual show events through a 'but she also has a kid' perspective.

[zelda7999]

Small lil comfort Drabble written from my phone

Title; Sick Day | 906 Words | Not Canon to New Horizons

I also want to state this is more a comfort drabble for me, but if others suffer from chronic pain/medical conditions too, maybe this will also comfort you? So I’m posting it. This will be VERY self indulgent and have mentions of pain (mostly unexplained)

Read the Drabble below the read more vvv

You had been dreading this day. It was bound to happen, but you wish it didn’t. Most days you could take your pain meds and be on your way out. Today, was not one of those days. You had already taken your medications earlier and the pain was only getting worse. You barely had enough energy to get out of bed, so forget walking around the lab all day. However, you would have to make the dreaded call to management and let them know.

Calls like this always ate away at you. You felt like you should be able to work, to simply drink some coffee and power through. You couldn’t though. Even doing the basics today was going to take more energy than you had. So once the call to management is made and finished, you lay back down in bed with a sigh. Even sleep wasn’t going to work today. The pain wasn’t going to let you ignore it.

Bzzzt bzzzt! Your phone goes off. At least this was something simple… or maybe not. Did they already tell Eclipse you weren’t going to make it today? Because you could have sworn that the text read “I’m coming over.” After a couple more reads, and a lot of staring, you finally process that he meant it. Based on the time as well, he would be here any minute. Did you really just lose all that time staring at a message?

Before you can mentally scold yourself, you hear your front door click open and the jingling of keys. Damn it, you should have moved those spare keys.

“Just me, Y/N! Where are you?”

His voice is a welcome sound, but you wish it was in better circumstances.

“in my room!”

You call back, but almost regret it. You were still in your sleep wear, and if you looked as bad as you felt… then it wouldn’t be a pretty sight. Maybe he was actually here because he forgot something, and not here for you. That’s the hope at least, but he comes into your room anyways. A small grocery bag in one of his hands. What did he have there?

“Good morning, did you rest well? How are you feeling?”

“Good morning… I um… I rested okay, could have been better… And I’m uh, not the best right now.”

Eclipse walks closer and sits down on your bedside. Two arms gently run up and down your side in comforting motions. What exactly did management tell him when you called out?

“I have the day off as well. So please, let me help out a little.”

He smiles a little wider at the end of that sentence, though it doesn’t completely mask the concern racking his body. It was sweet he wanted to help you out too, and even sweeter that he took the day off for you. All in a moments notice.

“Sure, Eclipse. I could use a little help today, but don’t get too excited. I don’t think I have the energy for that.”

You chuckle and attempt to slowly sit up. Pain jolts through your hips and lower back, travelling all the way down to your knees. You instantly you rag doll back down to the bed. There wasn’t going to be an easy way for you to sit up. At least that’s what you thought before Eclipse was ever so gently guiding you to a sitting position. You didn’t have to move a muscle, and the relief you felt from sitting completely overcame any other feeling.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, it’s my pleasure.”

His hands don’t leave your sides, three of them staying with you while one still held the grocery bag. You help yourself to one hand and start gently playing with his fingers. Folding them in and out while you bask in the fact you were now sitting up and didn’t have to fight for it. You only had to fall down once before you were sitting, and it was thanks to his help.

“so what’s in the bag?”

“Oh!”

He hands it over to you, and you peek inside. There’s a store bought sandwich and a couple other snacks inside. All of which were your favourites. He must have seen you snacking on them during your lunch breaks.

“You got these for me?”

“I can’t cook. I thought you might be hungry.”

“Thank you, thank you so so much. I… I don’t think I would have had the energy to eat today. If I’m completely honest… Getting out of bed would have been a couple hour struggle without you here.”

Eclipse moves to stand up but you grasp his hand tighter. He stops moving and tilts his head at you in confusion.

“Will you stay? Just… just sit with me for a little? I really don’t want to move.”

“Of course, let me go to the other side of the bed, I’ll sit down with you.”

You nod and let him go. He goes around to the other side of the bed and sits down beside you. His arms gently wrap themselves around you and hold you close. Most of the day is spent like that, sitting in your room and cuddling close. Eclipse helps you around the house, helps you move and stand, while also assisting in other household chores you wouldn’t have gotten done otherwise. Thankfully he was there for you. You couldn’t imagine today without him.

Writers note: While not all chronic pain is the same, mine is mostly in my lower back, hips, knees, and really just my entire lower half entirely. So that’s what ended up being written in here. 

[ellies-cycling-notes]

Day 2: Long Island to NYC

Distance Covered: 80.23 miles

Total Time (including rests): 9:47 (7:45am-5:32pm)

Time spent riding: 7:22

Average Speed: 10.9 mph

Apples Eaten: 3 (fuji - 7.5/10, fuji - 8/10, granny smith - 6/10)

Overview of Ride:

Today's ride was just a single long trek. The very beginning of the ride was on some of the best side roads I've ever been on (they were of similar quality to a bike trail), but after that, most of the rest of the ride was spent on state roads with cars zooming past.

Once I got into NYC, though, it got better. My route took me on multiple bike trails through parks, and even when I was on city streets, New York's bike infrastructure felt better than I'm used to (this was probably influenced by the fact I was coming from various state roads that had practically 0 bike infrastructure).

The worst part of the ride was the flat tires. I ended up getting 2 flats today, both on my back wheel. I think the second flat was actually influenced by the first, because I only have a hand pump and cannot fully pump up a tire unless I go to a bike shop, and so I believe the extra weight on the back wheel combined with a not-completely pumped up tire is what caused the second tube to pop.

I finished off the ride with 2 back-to-back bridges: the Kosciuszko bridge, and then the Williamsburg bridge. The Kosciuszko bridge wasn't that bad, but the ride uphill for the Williamsburg bridge was absolute hell. At least it meant that once I got to the top of the bridge, the last 1.5 miles I had to ride were smooth sailing.

I took 4 breaks on today's ride: breaks #1 and #3 were short breaks where I had to fix a tire, and thus also had a little snack. Break #2 was in a park, where I had an early lunch (PB&J, as expected). My last break was a water break in Queens right before I got to ride on the Brooklyn-Queens Greenway, a rather nice bike path.

Small Notes/Experiences on the Ride

Sunscreen - I almost forgot to put on sunscreen this morning! My campsite was in the shade and the sun was still low when I started the ride, so I just forgot. Luckily, I noticed another bicyclist who had stopped on the side of the road and was doing various prep, and somehow that subconsciously reminded me to apply sunscreen

Waking up - I woke up just before dawn this morning (around 5:30am). I tried to fall back asleep, but couldn't, for 3 main reasons: (1) my sleeping bag was really hot, and I was overheating (2) there were train tracks near the campground and a train passed by just as I was trying to fall back asleep (3) roosters! I don't know where they were, but starting around 6am, you could hear a rooster's call every minute or two

Speed Limit - As a bicyclist, I always find it funny when I'm able to go faster than the speed limit. This is easily attainable on roads with a Limit of 15 mph, but my law-breaking was more impressive than that today. The road had a speed limit of 20 mph, and was on a short downhill, so I was able to pick up speed such that I was the fastest vehicle on the road (I capped out at around 24 mph on that road)

Railroad Avenues - I don't know why, but my maps kept having me take routes that ended up with me going right parallel to train tracks. More than once, said parallel road was called a Railroad Avenue.

Dogs - I usually don't care much for animals, but there were a few dogs of interest I noticed today. One of them was in a yard behind a fence and kept zooming back and forth from one end to another. I thought it was following cars, but then it just turned around and raced to the other end when it was already chasing a car, so that theory might be wrong. I also saw a wooden or plastic dog statue, maybe 1 meter tall, hyper-realistic, just sitting on the curb of a city street. There was a third dog I was thinking about mentioning, but I forgot why it was interesting before I had a chance to write it down.

Post Ride Notes

I'm now resting in a friend's apartment in NYC. I'm late to posting tonight because when I got here, I ended up just lying down for an hour or two because of how sore I was. I did not do Yoga today, but as tomorrow is my rest day, I'll likely do Yoga then.

Design Notes

Today's design notes refer to specific games I'm working on/want to work on, mainly focusing in from a mechanics perspective.

Game 1: Doubles Rowing

The idea for this is a micro card game, maybe 20 cards at most, where two players play cooperatively as the two rowers in a Double (a two-person boat where each person has 2 oars). The stroke seat would have to play cards to set the pace and keep the energy up, while the bow seat would have to follow the stroke and make directional calls (and maybe some other calls too). This idea hasn't really been fleshed out at all yet, so that's what I have so far.

Game 2: Bicycle Repair Minigames

A video game, probably using either a mouse-and-keyboard or a game controller, where the player has to perform various tasks that require precise actions in order to repair a bike. For example, when performing the mini-game to replace a bike chain, you would have to carefully line your new and old chains up, side-by-side, and then use a chain tool to shorten the new chain if it's too long. However, you still have to be very precise with this part, as you don't want to accidentally break a chain link. After that, you put the chain carefully on the bike cassettes, and have to line up the ends of the chain so that you can connect it, either using a master link, or by using the chain tool again. And that's just one example of a mini-game

Game 3: Cooperative UNO: Curses!

This game is based around a cooperative game-loss condition I've been wanting to work into a game for a while. I thought I'd test the mechanic/loss condition out with an UNO deck. I have a whole rules system for it, so here's how it works:

This game is for 2+** players.

Separate out the numbered cards (0-9) from the others.

Shuffle the numbered cards and deal each player 5 cards. Set the rest of the numbered cards to the side face-down (this is the deck).

Put the top card of the deck in the discard pile.

Set the other cards (reserve, +2 cards, etc.) to the side in a pile (doesn't need to be shuffled). This is the Curse pile. Any cards that are not number cards will be counted as Curse cards in this game.

Now, here's how you play the game. Players are working together, taking turns. Tabletalk rules are up to you, but I would suggest no talking.

On your turn, you start by drawing until you have 5 cards in hand (on your first turn, you draw 0 cards). If you attempt to draw from an empty deck, keep the top card of the discard pile, and shuffle the rest of the discard pile as the new deck.

Next, you play a number card to the discard pile that follows the rules of UNO (is either the same color or number value). If you cannot, you discard any number card from your hand to the bottom of the discard pile. Also, add a card from the Curse pile to the bottom of the discard pile.

At the end of your turn, discard any Curse cards you have in your hand to the bottom of the discard pile.

Winning/Losing the Game:

This is not currently a game that can be won. However, there are 2 ways to lose:

If every player must discard Curse cards at the end of their turn in a turn cycle, you lose.

If one player is neither able to play a number card nor able to discard a number card on their turn because their entire hand is Curses, you lose.

Game 4: Cave Explorer

This is the game I probably have the most to write about, but I'm getting tired, so I'm going shorten it to a summary today. Luckily, this is the game I'm most interested in working on/thinking about, so I'll probably have many chances to expand on this in future blog posts.

This game is a single-player video game I made in a class my Freshman year. It's a rogue-like game, where you have a large grid of colored squares. You have an avatar on one of those squares you can move around by using the arrow keys, and need to get them to the exit. However, there are 3 snags in this plan.

First, when you input a movement for your character, they don't actually move. Instead, your input is recorded in a log on the side of the screen and you can add more inputs. When you think you've made all the movements to get your guy to the exit, you can click "Enter", and they'll go through the movements you inputted one-by-one until they either reach the exit, or fail to do so.

The second trick is that each colored square has a differently ability. In the original version of the game, you start with four types of tiles:

Floor - light grey tiles that you can walk on

Walls - dark green tiles that you can't move through - they can be used strategically, though, if you think you'll forget one of your inputs.

Pits - Black tiles that if your avatar walks on them, it's a game over.

Falling Floors - Dark grey tiles that can only be stepped on once. After that, they turn into Pits.

Furthermore, as you get further in the game, more unique tiles will appear so you have to be able to carefully maneuver around, making use of the different tiles the best you can.

The last snag in your game plan is the timer. The game cannot actually be beaten, levels can generate infinitely. Your progress is instead calculated by how many randomly-generated levels you can get through before you run out of time, with each level more complicated/difficult than the last.

That's an overview of the original version of Cave Explorer. I have a rest day tomorrow, so I'll try to see if I can find the files for it and whether I'd be able to share it.

I have several ideas for ways to expand/re-work Cave Explorer. However, as mentioned earlier, I don't really want to get into all that right now. Instead, I'm going to give a list of terms, which will serve as both a notes board for myself, and a small bite of what I'm thinking about.

Gamemodes: Classic, Basic, Randomized, Region-based, Endless, "Deck-builder", Custom

Tile Types: Ice, Mud, Jump, Quicksand, Linked Teleport, Key, Hidden Room, Upstairs, Corruption, various "Points" tiles

Code Changes: Updated map-building, weight of tiles, tile definitions, ui formatting

"Out There" Ideas: new characters, enemies, race/fight mode

That's everything from me tonight! I'll be resting up tomorrow, and will still make a post, but it'll probably be shorter and more formal than normal.

Previous -- Today's Pics -- Next

[thenarator]

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

so i'm not sure if you meant for me to talk about five different scenes but i can't think of five scenes i wanna talk about on the same post, so here's one scene i've really wanted to talk about for a while and i'm just going to talk for extra long.

this is my director's commentary on the vigilante group training scene from savior of the desperate and forgotten chapter 18, "whenever you're ready."

in this scene izuku goes to meet up with stain and his gang of vigilante students at their hideout in the abandoned shopping mall for additional training and to give them an update. stain takes the opportunity to use izuku as a teaching assistant and the entire group train hard for a few hours. izuku then reveals that he has made the group a homemade picnic lunch of onigiri, and they all sit around eating and relaxing together after their hard work. izuku gets to bond with several members of the group individually, and receives validation for his decision to ditch his internship with nighteye. at the end of the scene he secures a promise to attend the school festival from dabi and hoshi, as part of a plan to cheer up shouto and natsuo.

what i really enjoyed about writing this scene is that it's not just a single conversation, it's a dozen different small interactions to build the relationships between characters. it's kind of a shame, because this scene took forever to write and i was super happy with all the little details i put into it, but a lot of people just commented that they "liked the vigilantes section" without focusing on any of the specific interactions. not that i expected people to notice how much time i spent figuring out what was the most in-character type of onigiri for everyone to like, but it still would have be nice for someone to comment on what a sweetheart izuku was for making everyone lunch.

for this series i will take any opportunity to get that sweet sweet sibling dynamic between izuku and tomura, so izuku bothering tomura about liking things and tomura bothering izuku about his 'hunger strike' were important details to me. i came up with the idea of izuku teasing tomura about the vault last minute, but i really liked it because it acknowledges that their relationship wasn't always great but they have come a long way. i want them to be close to each other and have a lot of their motivation be wanting to protect and take care of each other, but i also have to show their growth as individual characters. tomura learning to enjoy things when he was previously only encouraged to hate and destroy shows that he's starting to heal. izuku learning to joke about afo's particular brand of crazy shows that this legacy has lost some of its dread for him.

it was difficult remembering to give all the characters a chance to talk during the chapter, so that it really felt like everyone was present and participating, because there are a lot of them at this point. i had to go back and add in lines for twice in a few places, because i almost completely forgot he was there. i tried to give each dialogue exchange some weight from a character perspective, using the responses to things like izuku telling them about nighteye's creepy behavior to show that these aren't the same league of villains that we know from canon. i think magne only speaks like two or three times in this scene, but in only a few lines she establishes camaraderie with hoshi by saying that talking to her is a good enough reason to learn sign, and establishes protectiveness over izuku by offering to beat up nighteye for being a creep. izuku also just gets a nice interaction with almost everyone in this scene: analyzing compress's sleight of hand tricks, toga bragging to him about learning sign, spinner looking to him for his opinion, and of course everyone getting protective because of nighteye.

i also took the chance to do a lot of housekeeping this scene. i brought mustard back and even though he only spoke like once i still show that he hasn't been written out and that he's still part of the group even if he's not actively doing the vigilante thing. toga shows that she's starting to learn sign, and stain suggests that everyone else learn, so later down the line i can just say that they all know sign when i need them to communicate secretly. izuku puts cream on tomura's neck again, so that in the next big scene of this group it can be fully healed. spinner brings up the gentle criminal video, so i can foreshadow gentle and la brava eventually joining the group a few chapters later, and also remind everyone of that video recording izuku has yet to do anything with.

i really love writing scenes of the vigilante gang, almost all the scenes i've gotten to write, and i'm super pleased with how this one turned out. i hope everyone else enjoyed the fine details of the scene as much as i enjoyed coming up with them, even if they didn't know how much work went into it all.

anyway, thanks for the ask!

[keefwho]

July 24 - 2023 Monday

10:43 PM

Today I felt very bleh, like my head was empty. Might be due to the missed sleep the past couple days so I’ll be sure to get to bed on time tonight for real. 

For breakfast I had half a totino’s pizza, a pear cup, and a couple oreos. I spent my brief free time playing Neopets games. 

The stream went okay. My warmup kinda sucked because I’m trying to figure out a way to do sketches on my sketch sheet then finish those on a new canvas while still retaining the feeling that everything is real loose. For a little bit I was just finishing them as low res thumbnails on the sketch sheet itself but the point of the sheet is to be a collection of incomplete and experimental things. Having completed drawing in it does not sit right with me but taking a sketch and moving it to a new canvas makes it feel more important than it is. The point is to make a little doodle that turned out good enough to post, not a pre-planned successful kind of drawing. Im sure I’ll figure something out. I feel there is a lot I need to improve on with my process and how exactly I color including the actual brush settings. There will be lots of experimenting in my future. Also on stream we finally got to watch more episodes of Rugrats because we watched the movie that ties seasons together this weekend in Discord. We also watching Courage and I’m thinking we will watch 1 episode of each show a day. I only did half commission time today and spent a little more time finishing an emote commission I had. 

After stream I did my workout in it’s entirety despite how physically tired I felt. I really had to push through this one but that’s kind of the point isn’t it. I meant to clean up first but I forgot so I cleaned up after my shower. In the shower I was about to ask my friend straight up if I had permission to think about them while I took care of myself but I decided to do it to something else intentionally. I’ve briefly brought this up to them before. I think it’s given that sometimes we jerk off to each other without the other knowing. However I know how she feels about being sexualized and sometimes I can’t help but wonder if she would actually appreciate me thinking about her like that on my own time sometimes. It bothers me enough that I do think it would good to ask permission beforehand or have a brief discussion about it. This might be weird of me but I’m just listening to how I feel. I respect her tremendously and want to exercise expressing that. 

For lunch I was excited to make a hearty helping of Rice a Roni with lentils, meatballs, broccoli, green beans, and onions. It turned out okay as usual but I was hoping it came out better. It was still a solid meal. I invested more time into Neopets while it cooked. I’m enjoying some of the minigames. 

I feel I did a poor job on today’s request. The whole time I was thinking about how I want to make something I can be proud of but it just wasn’t coming together. It came out okayish but I wanted to do better. Next I spent an hour working on a TOTK pic of my otter and my friend’s sona. I mostly tidied up the sketch and then completely lined it, taking extra care to do a good job so thats why it took so long. After that work was officially over but I wanted to do more so I briefly setup the new horse avatar I got so I can start turning it into my most recent horse sona. 

I spent time in my friend’s server where there was a lot of negative talk about one of my other friends about his overly sexual behavior. I felt sort of bad because it was more or less shit talking them behind their back and I was just going along with it. Usually if I talk about him with others, its coming from a place of at least mild affection. Some of this was just mean though. 

Tonight I watched my friend give me a sort of rundown of the Neopets website and some of it’s history, I liked listening to her about it. I love hearing her be passionate about anything. After that we hopped on Pony Town for a tiny bit and looked at characters people made before checking out my little house and giving each other horse kisses. I started dinner while she headed up to bed and we chatted a bit. 

Today I wasn’t proud of much. Just the usual amount of proud for doing things to the best of my ability. I did well on my workout especially, and doing that little bit of extra avatar work. 

For some reason my self perspective was very lacking today. I kinda just wasn’t there, at least not in a great capacity. Looking back there were moments that would have benefitted me being more involved in the present. Spending time with anyone is a good example because it only becomes truly meaningful if I am offering my full attention and appreciation. Tomorrow will be another day to exercise my awareness and put it to good use. 

[slasherstories123]

Them with an s/o that takes pictures of them like

*takes shirt off because it's hot"

SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP

Slashers reaction to their s/o taking a picture of them

Paring: Vincent Sinclair, Pennywise, and Thomas Hewitt x GN! Reader

A/N: Sorry for not posting I’ve been trying to find motivation for my writing, and it’s back! Thanks for the request!

Tagslist: @dootys @callmemeelah @fluffy-little-demon @mehidktbh @slash3rl0v3r @the-anxious-youth @beanbagbitch @mrs-heelshire @smenny @oneofvincentscandles @thatoneweirdgirlspage @alexxavicry @vexeliers-breakroom @l0sercat @kumikowrites @kissmachetebois @saturn-barnes @naxxsstuff @beel-mcburger @pink-apollo @sadskies @charliedawn

Vincent Sinclair 🕯

The only thing that you kept since you’ve been in Ambrose was your camera you got as a Christmas gift

You’d take pictures around Ambrose here and there but your favorite thing to take pictures of is Vincent… having his hair in a ponytail. It’s rare for Vincent to have his hair up and out of his face.

He had it up in a bun this time, only some big chunks of his hair in front of his face, working on a wax figure on his desk. He looked good with it up! You HAD to take a picture!

All he heard was a click and a quick flash. Looking over towards you to see the camera in your hands. You knew he noticed, “Sorry Vin! I had to, you look good with your hair up.” It was complete silence, besides the radio music playing in the background

You saw him clean his hands before walking towards you. When he was close to you, he took the camera. “I mean I can get rid of the-” click..

He took a picture, “Hey! I wasn’t-” click And another one. You covered your face. “I’m not-” click You’re covering yourself at this point, trying to hide your body from the camera.

“Vinny! Stop it!” If you listens closely you could hear a faint laugh come from him. He’s keeping the camera for now, he knows that you’d try to delete the pictures of yourself anyway.

Pennywise🤡

It was always hard to get a picture from the clown. He’d always move around at a fast pace or would just disappear when you took your camera out.

Luckily, tonight was the night you could, it was a movie night and Pennywise would always come by to watch movie with you. It was a comedy movie.

He had a bowl of popcorn in his hands. Sitting on the floor beside you, you didn’t know what the look on his face meant, but it looked kinda serious. “I don’t understand how humans find these movies funny.” You had your phone out, he looked adorable, it was like a little child watching their favorite tv show

“Because Penny, your sense of humor is different from us humans, you laugh when someone is scared, we don’t do that.” You took a picture… but you forgot to turn the flash off. Pennywise turned his head

But he turned it at a slow place, almost how a cat would do if they were on crack. “What did you do?” The head turn creeped you out but it also made you laugh. “I took a picture of you. You looked adorable Penny.” He tilted his head at the word “adorable” he’s not supposed to be adorable.

“Adorable..We’ll that’s a first,thank you Y/N!”

Thomas Hewitt🐻

Thomas finally got a break from working his butt off everyday, you two just had a picnic under the tree in the shade. Even letting some of the animals take some of the fruit you both had.

He had a flower crown on his head and he looked so peaceful with it on, happy even. They’re were mainly pink white and yellow flowers. You had one on too so you could match.

You had your camera, waiting for the right moment to take a picture. A squirrel then crawled towards him, Thomas had a grape in his hand, giving it to the squirrel. That was the moment, you took a picture which made the squirrel flinch, but it still stayed there.

“Gotcha.” You said, waiting for the picture to come into view. Thomas looked at the camera, then at you, “I had to, it was an adorable moment.!” He couldn’t complain, he knows he’s good with animals.

The picture finally came into view, you showed it to him with a smile, you could tell he liked it, the squirrel holding the grape while Thomas still had his hand out. Adorable

What could be cuter than that? You began to laugh but stopped when a bird landed on your head. “Huh? Oh-” It sat on your head, thinking it was a nest. “Would it be bad if I told this bird that it’s not it’s nest?”

Thomas didn’t say much, taking the camera and getting ready to take picture of you, “Hey wai-” click.. He was smiling at the thought of the bird thinking your head is your nest

It was cute, he had to take a picture himself. It would only be fair since you took a picture of him with a squirrel.