#some are gifts though so it's okay
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casper’s big head lmao
#absolute unit making tom look like a little boy fjskdjsd#also anon about the behind the scenes stuff i got your asks!! i just haven't had time yet to answer#i went to a craft show today with my mom and spent ummmmm... a cool two hundred dollars#show me christmas decorations and i lose all my judgement#some are gifts though so it's okay#christmas is my favorite holiday so i save all year to afford new decorations and more importantly so i can spoil my friends and family :P#i got a compliment from a butch vendor wearing an actual tool belt and big ass key chain lmao a very good day indeed#anyway hope you all had good days too <3#bloopers
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"It was always stuck on the happy color," he gave a dry chuckle. "Even at the hospital. That's how we knew it was all bullshit."
okay but like,, what is he WAS happy,, what then huh xue yang,, what if he was able to find peace and happiness knowing that his family was there with him,,, what about that??
based on the fic the thread that binds us by @wifiwuxians
#song lan#xiao xingchen#a qing#xue yang#okay this took so fucking long#and tumblr has decided to eat the quality#but thats none of my business#im stopping this before i overwork it and over think it and look at it too long#but yeah idk i just like to think that maybe xxc was at least sometimes happy#when they were there with him and they were just sitting around as if they were still at home#and he felt so so loved and cared for and all that stuff#even though he knew he was dying they were still with him and for a few moments at least he was still able to be happy#idk i just want him to die peacefully for fucking once haha#anyway great fic 10/10 loved it so so much#it was legit so good#anyways some details that i wanna shoutout; xy is an itachi kinnie; a-qings crop top was originally xxc's; two headed calf plushie#gift from sl#dis meh#my art (??)
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i want it to be you // what could have been
hey @everliving-everblaze I have a present for you <3
kotlc art taglist:
@bronte-deserves-better@imaramennoodle@thisbluewind@theofficialkai517@delphicstrawberries@thesandsofdawn@crumpledwitchfeet@ascendant-queen@axels-corner@loverofallthingssmart@silveny-dreams@girlofmanyfandoms@enbies-and-felonies@impostertamsong@sofia-not-sophie @alabestrine @keefes-hairgel @fanartofthelostcities@three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat@a-lonely-tatertot @cosmogyral-cleo @meg-doodles @dragonwinnie-kotlc@anaccidentwaitingtohappen@maglorslostsilmaril@even-if-in-another-time@crazedfangirl14@callas-pancake-tree@katniss-elizabeth-chase@wolfstar-being-ridikkulus@thefoxysnake@florida-preposterously@fandomsareforlife@deulalune@just-a-honey-badger
#kotlc#kotlc fanart#sophitz#sophitz positivity#quil's quill#hey y'all remember that profile drawing I was losing my mind over a little bit ago? well here she is!#also I keep being SO finnicky after uploading the photo to post i've gone back at least 8 times (not exaggerating) to fiddle with something#it's good it's fine it's good I don't need to change anything it's FINE!#oaurggh#anyway#heron you told me when your birthday was and I completely and entirely forgot#so just pretend this is a birthday gift#even if it's like six months away/behind us doesn't matter#and even though I didn't draw this for birthday reasons I just felt like it#also yes maybe there's some symbolism here#which maybe I would be totally 100% open to explaining if someone asked#ough ough noticed something I maybe could go back and tweak... <- NO! it's GOOD#no one but you is going to notice that it's literally fine#OKAY FINE
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End of an era. I donated my instruments today.
#after years of trying to make myself enjoy bass and pick up playing guitar.#i have accepted i just don't enjoy them. and that is okay. i have tried so many times#since having lessons in middle school. and picking it up. and putting it down. and picking it up. and putting it down.#because my whole life i thought “i need a hobby” but it isn't like i ever really tried anything else. so i thought i could just pick and#make it happen.#had nothing to do with skill that was the other part that i think caused me grief. thinking i “should” enjoy this#i have an aptitude for it. i love music. i love the sound. i'm gifted with good rhythm sense. there is no reason i shouldn't enjoy it#but then i realized outside of personal things i have an aptitude for a lot of things like when it comes to work and my education#and i freely accept that i don't enjoy many of those things either even though i'm good at them#so yeah. good riddance. if i ever get the urge to play something again i will let myself get something small cheap and silly.#like a ukulele#or some shit. but i bet i don't. i have released myself from the chains of string instruments. plus i have actual hobbies now that#i do enjoy#and things i want to try as well not just out of “idk what to do i guess i should do this”#-pers
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love waking up from a dream having been gifted with THE MOST PROFOUND KNOWLEDGE THAT I MUST WRITE DOWN AND SHARE WITH THE WORLD IMMEDIATELY only to properly wake up like 2 minutes later and being like "this is nonsense".
#i dreamt my friend from okinawa was teaching in the classroom underneath mine (apparently there was a classroom underneath mine)#and the kids from his classroom kept escaping and coming into mine via stairs i didn't even know existed#and he described them as 'indigo children' looking for 'the road of dreams'#and then he came to me afterwards - having turned into patrick stewart but retaining his hair - and he said:#'do you know the way to the road of dreams? first you must go up'#and i had a little tricycle/truck hybrid thing with an inflatable hamburger some wooden blocks and a beach ball stuck to the back#and i was like. this is it. this is the key. if i have these things then i can find the road of dreams#and i woke up like okay i must write this down i must remember this#and it took me between getting off my bed and turning on the air con to go 'wait no this is dream nonsense'#i did find out indigo children were actually like a pseudoscience thing in the 1970s/80s though so there you go#and the characteristics that describe indigo children are pretty much me haha#and then i kept reading and it was like 'a lot of so-described indigo children actually have adhd'#but parents prefered to believe their kid was gifted and destined to lead a religious revolution than to accept they had 'a disorder'#so that makes sense lmao
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There's something charming about being on tumblr and seeing people abroad be fans of our local balkan Eurovision artists from this year (Luke Black, Joker Out, Let 3, etc.)
I'm glad y'all like their songs! It really makes me happy when others like our popsynth and altrock bands as well. I'll recommend some artists/bands in the tags if y'all want some other balkan pop/rock/synth bands to listen to.
#Aight so off the top of my head from the newer pop n synth pop bands there is#Fantom. Bojana Vunturišević. Nipplepeople. Palma Pocket. Nina Turković.#For Synth Rock/Alternative there is - Svemirko. Sijenke. Fantom as well oops they also blend in that genre.#now for the OLDER synthwave n pop bands there is Denis i Denis. Videosex. Zana. Novi Fosili. Bebidol. Dino Dvornik.#as for rock bands the older ones I mainly recommend going for any Ex-Yu playlist you can find but from the older ones my favs are#Plavi Orkestar. Bijelo Dugme. Zabranjeno Pušenje. Idoli. Kerber.#Now for the Newer rock bands there's Artan Lili. Gift. Dubioza Kolektiv (technically new since they're began the band in 2003).#Kultur Shock I also recommend if you want some alternative folk rock (though I haven't checked the band in a while myself)#OH ALSO recommend Who-See as well! They're Techno Rap but are really fun to listen to! They were in ESC back in 2013#okay thats all I can remember for now#I REALLY need to make a Spotify playlist for this genre someday lmaooo#dia talks#luke black#joker out#let 3
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A late happy birthday gift to @brighteststar707!!!╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
I hope I'm not too late with this but alas!! I managed to finish in time (at least in my timezone hehe) Happy birthday Faye, I hope you spent your day enjoying some delicious food and wonderful company that made you smile! And, it seems that there is a certain someone from the outer space sending you a very important message... filled with stardust and love! Let's check it out, shall we? ⋆。°✩
I hope you like my little treat! I am very grateful to have met you, and I wish for this next year of your life to be filled with many new and exciting experiences for you to look back on. And a ton of delicious bread, of course! ⋆⭒˚。⋆ :)
Ref. by @DAHAN_illust on Twitter!
#my art#will not be tagging with main tags bc it's a gift!! a neat little treat in a small box! at least that's how i picture it#gahhh i didn’t have time to do a cozy detailed bacround like i wanted so i dropped you two into the bunker instead 😔#it's okay though! there are some fairylights for the occasion!#fun fact i figured out a technique to finally color hair in a way i like looking at while working on this#except for clothes - i still can't get the hang of shading clothes#i based your look on the many picrews you did so i don't know how accurate it is but!!!#i associate you with purple so there is a lot of purple#ditto#tumblr ate the quality but not much i can do about that sob
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.,,.,.okay but. what if. i DID cast on a cardigan instead of the zillion other gift projects on deck first
#text#personal#knitting#ez dni#i am Pining i think#and when i say Pining i mean#trying very hard to offload the post writing project crash i suspect is coming lmao#i have to finish some glovvies though and i do have a backlog of gifts to knit so....#cries#the wool gathering is this weekend is why this is on my brain#and now i'm procrastiknitting on finishing my proofreading#okay here i go
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this is a formal apology for every time i've read ur fnaf theories, gone "ah... of course! yes!" and then forgotten to respond
This is a formal apology for every time I've read one of your asks, not immediately had a TQ&/E, and forgotten to respond
#The box can wait my questions that need to be answered are why there is already a body in a Fredbear suit before the Bite#and what can 'I will put you back together' mean solely within those four games#like yeah it's robot kids but it wasn't then#that isn't 'four games; one story' that's using the next game in the series to elaborate on the previous one#(and the then new addition of books)#also what the hell was Fnaf World on about but I think I'm the only person that's thought about Fnaf World in years#yeah yeah Happiest day it's about CC I got that WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE PLAYER WAS ONLY CREATED FOR THIS PURPOSE!!!#Okay yeah that's probably just an explanation for why the game exists but what the fuck is glitchy Fredbear#and why do *we* need to be told to rest#It's fucking important that they're clocks goddamnit#As of the Halloween update the story of Fnaf 4 still remained 'completely hidden'#So (I think) what Sister Location (AND THE SILVER EYES) tells us about it is the version of Fnaf 4 that the version of it that the communit#''''would accept''''#But the pieces didn't vanish into thin air after the custom night update for sister location dropped#And I think their being put together is reliant on the constant separation put between the GF kid and the rest of the MCI#And the body in the parts and service room#Could not tell you what CC saw though since I should hope that that kid's body hasn't been there for weeks#When I was talking about 'what if this isn't the first time CC had died' I mean basically dream theory with extra steps#I don't think I'm right but in literally every part of this franchise what is hammered in over an over is going into memories#and setting past events right to rest their soul#Happiest Day + Into the Pit being the biggest examples#And tangentially spirits not being fully anchored or aware after death#and reminding them of what happened to them involving crayon drawings and/or being shown their body#(The Fourth closet + Coming Home + the movie)#(and maybe Give Gifts Give Life....? it'd be stretchy)#Regardless of whether the Fnaf 4 gameplay and minigames are CC reliving the events leading to his death over and over as a wandering spirit#or pre-mortem nightmares or the effects of sound illusion disc gas on Micheal(/CC?) or any combination of the three or whatever else#I don't think the Crying Child's spirit was settled and aware until Happiest Day#(that being the first and only time a spirit is shown wearing a Fredbear mask and the kid has to put it on while the other four are already#And if for some godforsaken reason I am right about nightmare spirit journey Fnaf 4 then post Silver Eyes/Fourth Closet
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The last time I cried over missing my boyfriend was when I was drunk and 3 time zones away. Now Im sitting in my own bedroom, sober as can be, and I cant get him out of my damn head
#screaming.to.the.gods#i haven’t seen him in over a week - but Im supposed to tomorrow night#we’ve been texting all weekend too. He wanted to see me Friday. but I had a friend visiting from out of town#but Im also thinking about a conversation I need to have with him before our trip in 2 weeks#and Im only gonna get a few chances to have it in person which woulf be much better#basically explaining some boundaries *I* need because of some past trauma#and I know he wont have a problem with any of it. god he is so compassionate I am so fucking thankful for him#but knowing its a conversation I need to have is the stressful part#and I think that stress combines with being on my period and just. missing him. is what is making me an emotional wreck#but he said he has a gift for me tomorrow#and Im excited for it#i went out and bought him a pokemon hoodie#partially so I can have one to steal since he is so picky about his hoodies#but yeah. i really miss him and really want a hug. which is so wild to me#i hate when people touch me. i hate hugs. but he’s different#hes like a security blanket. warm and safe.#and I just want to be wrapped in that safety#uhg okay Ill stop ranting about my first world problems#love you guys though
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the most devastating shit on earth is that i had a friend in middle school who was like my ride or die. but her only "social media" was Google Fucking Plus. so naturally i have lost her in the wastelands of that shitstorm. but i cannot find her ever again bc she has like The most common name on god's green earth so one facebook search for people with her name in the bronx yields like a million fucking results. so imagine if she's not even in the bronx anymore. 10 million results
#and if by some will from god she's out there wondering about me occasionally too She'd also be shit out of luck#bc my first name is different now. not even close to my birthname. and my last name is a nightmare#i didn't learn how to spell that shit until i was 6 and only so soon bc my mother set aside time to teach me specifically how to spell it#like it was its own school lesson. How to spell my own last name. so i'm not going to imagine someone could ever just Remember That#a decade down the fucking line#but i miss her often. she showed me inuyasha for the first time before rodan even did#we had the most awkward innocent scared quivering animal type lesbianism happening.#i would walk her home even though it meant making my 10 minute walk home into like 45 minutes#she lived in one of the projects and she snuck me in her apartment a few times when her dad wasn't home. that's when we watched inuyasha#one of my ''gifts'' i remember so specifically when we had decided we were dating is. i gave her. a tiny bag of chips.#blinks for a long time at you. i got her A Bag Of Chips.#💀😭 She should've killed me where i stood........#we once kissed because someone said they'd give us 20 dollars for it. We did not get the 20 dollars.#i was mad bc i wanted to split it with her and get snackies at the deli after school together or something. kills my elf#WAAAH i miss her. i miss da bronx too. one day i'm gonna drag rodan downstate to see it all#i want to take him to the bronx zoo and the botanical gardens. but also i just checked and nearly scumpt at the prices#37 DOLLARS..... 💀⁉️ i remember. (said oldly) i remember when it was. SEVEN DOLLARS!!!#whstever fucking happened to wednesdays you get in free. huh#i'm too scared to even look at the gardens now bc Nearly 40 tickets a person. oh My God. vomitworthy#wait oh my god what do thebuses and subway cost now. oh no oh no oh no#okay it's okay. it's a 40 cent difference. idr what a metrocard used to cost so it means nothing that it's a dollar now#but also Why the fuck do the express buses cost SEVEN DOLLARS.... 😭 brother bring that shit back down to five NEOW!!!#it's not even double the standard fare anymore. even if i round up the standard fare That's More Than Double. what#i hate inflation i hate inflation i hate#i'm rambling. walks away fast And my ass
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i don't even understand why psychic specters made the scene where nathaniel/kenny shows up for the first time a cinematic cutscene. i mean it is very funny to see him knock whisper out in higher quality but i don't see the point it's a like five second long cutscene and it doesn't add anything to the game-
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#yw2#psychic specters made some weird decisions ngl#10/10 i love it but what#gotta love the cutscene psychic specters added that's just like#''hey we should ask pallysol what your grandpa likes so we can get him a gift''#*nate/katie summons pallysol*#''don't do that actually'' ''oh okay''#and that's it. it is three whole cutscenes actually it's even worse. i don't see the point honestly-#i think it's just to show the model zero's summoning sequence??? idk it's just weird-#it does amuse me though. whisper just suggests that with no prior prompting and it is never followed up on#why pallysol specifically also sdfkldfsjlfdsljkfsdkj-#psychic specters is a mess-
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the heels of my pants are wet !!
#just me hi#are they called heels ?#doesn't matter- now they are >:)#anyway i have found a love for big pants#i am short so feedback says i look silly. but i wanna be silly anyway so!! i'm winning :D#but anyway that Does mean that some pants that fit me also Don't fit me lol#they're too long. so the cuffs are on the ground + under my heels#and it's raining outside and i had to grab a christmas gift and i forgot to tug them up and now i have to roll them up-#and beCAUSE i can't just. sit on the floor i'm sitting criss-cross and the wet. is on. the inside bend of my knees#this is like. the worst thing on the planet fvhsdhc#but it's okay .....#i like water water is cool!! but also come On dude hfvsh#//also i got earbuds for the first time in... years actually lol#so i'm trying to remember how to use them comfortable hfsfvh#i miss my noise-canceling headphones.. auhhhhhhh.........#they were super cool and the only reason i stopped using them was because the cushion fell off of one (still used it though (painful (i put#a sock over it Lmao))) and then the wire eventually severed itself :/#like i had those since i was 13 and i had to get them replaced i think 2 years ago#the replacements since have been. okay hfshcdh#idk maybe i just blasted my ears out or maybe i'm just putting a rosy film over some memories or maybe i'm RIGHT but i'm pretty sure the#sound quality on every one after that has been kind of worse lol#/tho you know what these earbuds aren't too bad from the perspective of the headphones i've been using#like i have the volume on 4 and it's a nice mid-volume and Clear#with those chunky headphones (and i mean Chunkyyyyyy headphones) i had to put them on 20 to get any good sound + you could Hear It from lik#2-3 feet away fvshdc#these are silent...... hecka nice..............#//anyway it's not spooky season but it feels like it lol#merry christmas happy holidays!! hope these following days treat you kindly :)
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ummmm
#oh mika there is beauty in life~ look at your future! everything will be worth it in the end~#my favorite image on this device btw ^#cw negative#cw vent#you know where this is going. apologies my mind is a mess and i really just need to get it out because i find its better than-#-writing a semi formal email to that One (1) emotional support organization and i’m afraid to make a call so#but i just genuinely believe things would be better off if i weren’t alive. a bit of a silly thing to jump to i know but#my tuition fees aren't cheap and i'm not even that great of a student or a daughter or a sister and i-#-have no talents or remarkable feats. i’m not impressive in any way. and i hate hearing shit about how ^_^ its okay! we all have something-#-special about ourselves! for example maybe you have really good hand writing and thats good enough ~ but that doesn't work for me because-#-i have nothing. my handwriting isn't good my singing isn't good i'm not artistically gifted i don't have some random affinity for puzzles-#-i'm not charming or somehow really good at calculation or super creative or a really comforting friend i really have nothing at all#i don’t want to die. i have no plans on doing that sort of thing anytime soon— don’t misunderstand me#i just wholeheartedly believe i don’t deserve to be here anymore not because i’m not loved. i just can’t stand myself and my teenage years-#-feel so long and i'm so fragile how much longer do i have to tolerate. i'm contributing nothing. why should my family have to feed and-#-clothe a burden like me who provides nothing. why should my friends care for someone like me. i’m not really that funny or sweet or great-#-with advice giving or pretty or helpful in any way. why is it that life is genuinely easier for others. what did i do? what can i do?#how much longer must i tolerate this? would you believe me if i said i really did try to change my mindset this time?#i have no one in real life to talk to. therapists are pricey and i don’t think mine was helping me in any way anyways. she was nice though#so every night i sleep hoping i wake up somewhere else. somewhere where i'm happier and i can live all my silly fantasies where i'm a fun-#-and lovely person who has everything she wants and nothing goes wrong ever!!#how much longer must i hang onto the little things. i’m in such an exruciating amount of pain that i want to kill myself without dying? lol#everyone repeats the same stuff. get bit#i can't rely on the joy of having coffee every morning or persevere for the sake of seeing cute cats on insta. nothing will ease the burden
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I forgot getting into this bed at my parents' house is basically an Olympic sport for someone of my height.
My parents got an alarm so I'm now locked in and can't even open a window. It's hot in here and nice outside and I just want to open a window 😭
#sorry for complaining I'm grumpy and just need sleep and real food#I'm actually very happy to be here but also I just want to cry#shopping tomorrow with mom for last minute christmas gifts and cold brew#and maybe some tea because they don't have tea in this house#I brought some but I want a decaf option because I really wanted tea tonight before bed#yes I want tea even though I complain about being too warm#just like I hate cold weather but drink iced coffee all winter#I like what I like#this is getting away from me#but honestly would I even be me without a novel of rambly tags?#I want to drink more cold water but then I'll have to pee and that means getting back out of and into this bed again#i don't know how it's so tall#I basically have to throw myself onto it 😂#it's not fun when I'm so tired!#okay I'm going to try to catch up on what I missed today#I surprised myself by not being on tumblr constantly in the car#how are you all doing?#if you made it this far please tell me about your day! ❤️
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tumblr really has it out for me huh?
#i went on a whole gush about m.axi's outfits but nooooo just dont save it why dont you >:(#ash rambles 💚#ive been making some old school friendship bracelets with some of m.axi's color schemes throughout the games to destress from finals week#just finished one for his outfit in 5#he looked soooo good in that game and for what#arguably my favorite look on him#though 6 did not disappoint in the slightest#you know that pink scarf he has??? yeah thats a gift from his gf :) thats why hes always wearing it#his boots in 5 though??? chefs kiss#the red accents are so nice#hes so fashionable (okay i know there was s.c4 but he was going through it in that game so it's okay-)#his outfits always look so good#but if you ask me id say he always looks good-
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