#sol system alterhuman writing challenge

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Origin Theory

Asking someone's origin feels like asking someone what's their assigned gender at birth. That's like, undermining who they are as a person, correct gender and all. Maybe there's value in knowing where one came from, but that's pretty personal.

At the least, the alterhuman community at large don't really hound on people for their origin from what I'd seen. It's a lot of people offering up their origin story. Is this a need to be validated due to all the past discourse surrounding spiritual vs psychological origin?

On the same vein, voluntariness. It's another form of origin theory that gets a little, I'm not sure redundant is the right word, but it takes away a lot of personal agency when dealing with something that's your own, one's identity.

With how vastly diverse and just generally limitlessness of alterhuman identities, having something so finite and restrained is so strange. Maybe for presentation towards the newcomer and orthohuman outside the community it's important to keep things simple--box labeled and everything organized like a file cabinet. But within the community? Conversation flows easier, as I observed, when people put not as much stock with the origin theory. Although it is still fun to talk about, speculating one's own "how I came about", it really shouldn't be the "oh no, I'm psychological/spiritual" then proceeds to panic. I donno, I fortunately haven't seen this. Though, I can't remember how it was when I first found the community roughly 5 or 6 years ago, I vaguely recall the emphasis on spirituality with implicitness of how much more important it is than psychological. I guess there is still that lingering around. Although I'd heard how in some circle, it's the reverse. This whole thing is just so dumb and really not cool. I don't have the right word here, but please hear my frustration.

A lot of things with alterhumanity by itself is fascinating. I like hearing about people contemplating whether they are spiritual, psychological, I love hearing the one alien that has a philosophical relationship with their alterhumanity, I know of a couple dragons who start their draconity as artistic expression of the self. These are really cool! And knowing for some the cause of their alterhumanity is from their neurodivergence made me think about myself. Knowing about people that have other lives, whether it's living in parallel with other universes, inside time loops, or having a identity because they will become that one day? That's all really neat.

We don't need to proof who we are within the community. Isn't that one of the point of having a community? We shouldn't need to validate ourselves to the folks who are suppose to be just like us, or at least understand what we are going through in some way.

I mentioned just now how some have identity that they become due to artistic expression, there is a implictness of the voluntariness in there. They are still who they are in the end. (do the end justified the mean? That's when on making decision to do something. not dealing with identity stuff) Personal journey such as alterhuman self discovery are, the whole thing would matter differently to people, some would care for the path they'd took, some only look at where they are, some care for every single moment, some just goes with the flow, and it is all perfectly okay! Because we are all unique individual experiencing our own thing.

I mean, if we are talking about explicitly intensionally created bond towards something, aka linking, that's something explicitly voluntary. Yet quoiluntary exists as a term for people's use, and there is a need for it! There's this focus on a linktype as something you can drop, but there's the concept Anteatype--a identify-as (kin/theriotype) that has been dropped, which makes the whole "something that can be pick up voluntarily and then drop as easily" as the definition people point to kind of null. It's the one post Poppy on tumblr had said

'Paratype' only tells you about the origin of the connection/identity, not its substance.

To me, “otherlinking” only tells me that it was from without, external, applied with a will, to actively create or strengthen a connection, preexisting or not. And then later on if someone feel the need to shift their terminology to better fit their experience, it's a option. Though it can be scary, the community is there to support.

I know at one point I myself also put emphasis on how much my origin is. I mean I did mention me finding that my hearttype is far more spiritual inclined than my kintype. I ascribe to the metaphoric in origin for my kintype these days though. It's not important a conversation, though I do like to ruminate on it myself for my own curiosity.

Course I wish we can completely move away from the need to define these boxes, but I suppose we can treat them like alterhuman identity training wheel. You can use them when you first found the whole concept, it might help to keep things simple and more concrete. Later on, when you are ready to fly, you can gently let them go, or pin them up on your pin board hoard, say "okay, I'd done that, now let's see what else there are". Be a little explorer, except the vast beyond is the little universe within your very self.

[kpopwerewolf]

I wanted to go in a slightly different direction today and write some short/flash fiction, so enjoy!

(To make it clear between out loud and internal speech, all internal speech is written in italics like thoughts would be.)

NO IT DOESN'T!

Keith flinched at the sudden shout. Sierra, his study partner glanced up at him.

"Everything good?" she asked.

"Yeah," Keith said, rubbing his temple. "Someone's just trying to give us a migraine."

She hmmed as she returned to her open textbook. "Sounds like a pretty intense argument."

Keith nodded, sighing. "I better go see what's going on."

"Don't take too long."

"I won't." Keith leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, letting himself tune in to System Radio. Hey guys. What's going on? Who's yelling?

Keith! Aerin exclaimed. Ronan's being a jerk and won't listen to reason!

What?! You're the one who--

"Guys, can we not argue please? We've got a lot of work to do and I can't concentrate with you guys screaming at each other."

Aerin and Ronan fell quiet, but continued to glare at each other.

Now what's going on? What happened?

Ronan won't listen to anything I say! I keep explaining it and showing him the logic and he refuses to see it!

The logic to what? Keith snapped, growing impatient.

Ronan sighed. Aerin's convinced that the Greek Hydra was a system, and I'm trying to explain that it wasn't because it had multiple heads, not multiple beings in one head.

Keith stared at them for several minutes. That's what this whole argument is about?

Yes! they both exclaimed, exasperated.

Keith groaned. He opened his eyes again and fixed them back on his homework, hearing the two of them bickering in the background still.

"What's going on?" Sierra asked.

"Aerin and Ronan are arguing about whether the Hydra was a system."

Sierra burst into laughter. "Is this a normal argument for you guys to have?"

"Unfortunately yes."

(I'm aware that different systems define "system" differently. Please don't respond to this post to argue or debate; this is just a fun silly story)

tags: @pluralprompts, @who-is-page

[who-is-page]

The Sol System's Alterhuman Writing Challenge

In November 2021, we challenged ourselves to write an alterhuman-oriented piece every day until the end of November, ideally building up to 50,000 words written overall. We wanted to take this challenge up for several reasons—to help strengthen our writing habits, to set up routines during a time we normally struggle to do anything due to our seasonal depression, to finally learn to put our first drafts out there fearlessly instead of being ornery perfectionists, and to just generally get better at handling mixed reviews with our rejection sensitive dysphoria.

All in all, it was a huge success and a ton of fun-- we wrote about topics we might not have otherwise touched on, made a TTRPG, and just had a grand time overall with all the responses we got from the community. And because of that, we want to offer it to any of y'all folks who might be interested in tackling the challenge yourselves (even if it's a few days late, but who's counting?)

Here are the rules we bound ourselves by:

You must finish and publish at least one piece of writing a day, on your platform of choice—DreamWidth, Tumblr, Mastodon, PillowFort, DeviantArt, Twitter, Discord, Neocities, anywhere. It has to be publicly accessible and (if possible) tagged appropriately.

That piece of writing must either be about or in connection to alterhumanity (in general or your own), the alterhuman community, a community typically classified underneath the alterhuman umbrella, an experience related to or connected to alterhumanity, or otherwise be something inspired by alterhumanity/alterhumans/alterhuman experiences/etc. This category is meant to be as broad as possible, while still sticking to theme. Use prompts or go off the cuff, whichever works best.

Other than that, go nuts! Fiction, nonfiction, games, NSFW, do whatever you want. There is literally no limit on what type of thing you write, just that you write. You can also start a piece at any given time—for a couple of our pieces, we started them one day, after we’d already published something, and then finished them and posted them a day later. I also personally recommend dedicating one unique tag to it on your blog to help keep track, but it's your writing and your rules all the way down other than what I've listed out here.

And if you do decide to take up the challenge, consider tagging us in it! We'd love to see whatever you write!

[mountain--bones]

4/11: They Lament, But We Rejoice

(Some personal ramblings which also can function as day 1 of the Sol System's Alterhuman Writing Challenge!)

While I was showering yesterday I, as I often do, got lost in thought. I was thinking about myself and the path my life has taken, and how I've learned to relate to myself in a holistic way – flaws and all.

As I was thinking, I remembered some lyrics to a song I'd heard, but I couldn't remember the rest of the song or what it was called.

"'Cause when I saw my demons I knew them well and welcomed them"

This idea resonates with me a lot. Partially, it resonates in terms of my personality; I try my very best to accept the flaws in myself, and find the value in what they represent and connect to in my holistic self.

But, even more so, it's very easy to see my nonhuman self in this. I've come to understand that I am, at my core, something monstrous. I've related that inner, spiritual self to many different things before – a deity, an eldritch beast, an ancient spirit – but one of the first things I found myself thinking of it as was a demon.

I didn't think of it as demonic in a religious sense; it was more that it struck me as deeply, almost intrinsically adversarial to many of the things which are valued in the mainstream spirituality of western culture. It was chaos, animality, instinct, decomposition, death. And so: a demon.

When I found my demon, I knew it well, and welcomed it.

Given the melody of the song, it was pretty clear that the intended message was not one of radical reclamation of a self that would conventionally be considered abhorrent. So then I was curious – what's it really about?

And that's what made this so impactful and fascinating to me.

The song is The Lament of Eustace Scrubb, by the Oh Hellos.

Eustace Scrubb. If there's any character that stands out as an impactful early influence on my nonhumanity, it's Eustace Scrubb. But what's funny is how for me (and I'm sure a lot of other nonhuman folks), Eustace Scrubb is a character who represented an enigma – a contradiction to something which I so fervently craved.

For those who aren't familiar, Eustace Scrubb is a character from the Chronicles of Narnia whose selfishness led him to be turned into a dragon. And he hates it. He's so miserable about being a dragon instead of the boy he's meant to be. I couldn't understand it as a kid. Why would he hate being a dragon? Why would he want to be human?

The Lament of Eustace Scrubb is a song which was symbolically inspired by the struggle of this character – a lament about the loss of some valuable, sacred aspect of humanity, beneath layers of flaws and faults.

Here's the full lyrics.

Brother, forgive me We both know I'm the one to blame 'Cause when I saw my demons I knew them well and welcomed them I knew them well and welcomed them

But I'll come around I'll come around

Father, have mercy I know that I have gone astray 'Cause when I saw my reflection It was a stranger beneath my face It was a stranger beneath my face

But I'll come around I'll come around Someday

When I touch the water They tell me I could be set free

It's very easy, given context, to see the Christian themes here – especially given than the Chronicles of Narnia are also a deeply, explicitly Christian work.

But that just makes it more interesting how, reading these lyrics in the way I naturally want to in spite of the context, I find a meaning in them that's entirely opposite to what's intended – one that's positive and healing.

When I saw my demons, I knew them well and welcomed them.

When I saw the parts of myself that were unacceptable in society's eyes, instead of shunning them, I reached out. I offered them a welcoming hand. To embrace myself in a genuine way has always been more important than following along with what I'm told is "right".

Brother, forgive me – humanity, forgive me – because when I saw the monster inside me, I turned from humanity without a second thought, and without a single regret. The "demon" in me opened my eyes, set me free from rules and structures and beliefs which I never belonged or fit within.

I chose the monster over my humanity. I don't need humanity to forgive me for that, but there's something striking about the idea of regret. Not the regret of my path, or who I am; just a quiet regretfulness to betray something which utterly needed to be betrayed.

'Cause when I saw my reflection It was a stranger beneath my face

My reflection shows a human face. The stranger underneath – the self that I had never been allowed to be. It was a stranger to me, at first. I didn't know myself, because I had never been taught how to. I'd been taught how to speak and how to act, and all that ever amounted to was layers and layers of masks, obscuring the heart of me underneath them.

The grief here, for me, isn't that the stranger is inhuman. The grief is that the deepest part of me, that lay beneath the facade, was a stranger. That I didn't recognise my true self underneath, because it was hidden by the body showed in my reflection, and all the different ways I'd been taught to act as I "should" in a body like this.

When I touch the water They tell me I could be set free

A reflection in a pool. The surface shows a human face, but there's something stranger underneath it.

Touch the water. Break the reflection. Free the you which you've never let yourself be.

See what I'm saying here?

It's striking because this is so completely not what is intended by the lyrics of this song, and yet it forms such a meaningful picture of what nonhumanity is to me. It's striking because, like the story of Eustace Scrubb, there's joy and freedom and actualisation found in a concept that is presented as, and intended to be, something horrible.

The inhumanity is supposed to be a curse.

But for me, embracing my nonhuman self – welcoming my demons, the stranger in my reflection – was a release from a curse that I didn't know I was burdened with.

There's something deeply poignant in here for me. Something which felt worth writing about.

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Media Representation and (a rant on) Draconity

I think it's natural to want to find something within the media that represent and reflects yourself. As a dragon, the option might seem like quite a few within various sources of media, but the realities are that I and my various alterhuman identities are not the typical or commonly seen dragons.

As myself, I'm orange, furred, white feathered wings, yellow horns, and the vibrant red belly. Those are not things you find common in animals, even amongst birds, that's some colors that don't exactly flow together. People drawn inspiration from around their world to create, people are also creature of comfort and habit--with the idea of dragon being "fire breathing, bat winged, scaly lizard" or "scale with mane, elemental control and sometimes deity, serpentine wyrm", and then variations based off of that, perhaps scaled beast with feathery wings, or great furred wyrm with webbed wings and fire breathing. Seriously what is with the fire breathing? Have I mention that I'm a shapeshifting sort of dragon? While that is often tied to the eastern sort of draconic beings, my exact combination of dragons are far and few in between. Even the dutch angel dragon within the furry community has certain limitation and character traits that don't align with me. If I hadn't got turned off by the idea of looking anywhere or being misidentify as a horse, I might have find myself drawn to the dutch angel dragon as a sort of maybe paratype, or just friendly dragons that I share similar traits with. But alas.

Every single piece of media or fictional source that has a representation I can find brings me joy. Games centered on collecting dragons like Flight Rising or Dragon Cave does a great job of acknowledging that diversity. I get especially grumpy when dragon maker only has webbed wings and scaly body. At one point I really did not want to put the 3D dragon maker by Dragonita on my Alterhuman Shifts and Self Discovery Tools guide (ohh, guess I finally got a name). You can call me petty however you want, but I was not very happy of something that denies my existence. I'm a strong advocate for draconic diversity, because I am not alone in being "unusual" sort of dragons. Nobody should feel like this, unseen. Dealing with the constant "he or she" as someone nonbinary is more than enough, thank you very much. I feel like as alterhuman, hell, even just within the confine of draconic community or even smaller the dragonkind community, there should be a sort of basic understanding that "dragon" is a abstract term. Like "what is human", "what is dragon" should be a default and nobody gets to decide who is or isn't dragon. To touch back onto what I wrote on Day 1 of this challenge, alterhumanity is a experience, it is a feeling, it is vague and abstract, it is something you know within your essence, or one day you will awaken to it. A dragon is all of that. I did end up finally putting the 3d builder on my guide. I will still prefer Lukas Sotrmskull's Dragon builder though.

Before I let my thought get away from me, lets talk about my other alterhuman identities.

The other side of the spectrum, when you have a almost exact match in sources that are well known, you end up keep getting mistaken as it. My kardiatype looks very alike to Haku from Spirited Away. It gets frustrating when I bring up my kardiatype, and people immediately go "oh, Haku!" It's the same problem with people seeing my self protrait and call that a horse or a goat. Seriously, is like people don't recognize a basic dragon head shape if it isn't scaled and spiked. Horses are neat, goat is fine, and Haku is a very cool dragon. But my kardiatype was not Haku. I'd argue that he was just your generic Japanese storm dragon that may or may not be local deity. Wild thought huh. I like that I get to see glimpse of that dragon through Haku, but I would really rather not deal with yet another case of misidentification in the form of "close enough". My human english name got enough of that treatment.

Amongst my other draconic identities, I have a vague-flicker of Flammie from the mana series. The vaguetype feeling has components of paratype within, precisely due to myself being the sort of dragon I am. Belly plate aside, Flammie looks very close to me. And with my discovery of how suggestive my wing count may be (currently in shifts of at least 4), Flammie is definitely a big contender for media representation of myself.

When it comes to intensionally created identity, me and Akumu, my headmate/mirror self, collectively linked a vaguetype of Aurelion Sol. Now, Aurelion Sol has nothing alike to me, maybe the color is more align with Akumu's, but generally, the eastern noodle form is my least favorite to partake in. It feels like a responsibility, and things are just heavier in a way when I'm in that form. It doesn't have to make much sense. Perhaps I will delve into this one day. One can argue we formed the link due to our kardiatype. But really, it happened because that's the one dragon we were really drawn to (and attempted to main) while playing League, and well, there were two others who were shyvana and smolder respectively, and we wanted to complete the draconic of LoL set for shits and giggles. There not much need to find a representation, because we are the exact representation from the source. But wait, we identify with the concept stage where people dub "unbound form" of Sol. Whelp, guess we gotta look elsewhere again.

It feels like I'm trying to start a topic and well, rant on draconity got me all over the place.

Sometimes it really is a exercise in patience. The more unique you are, the harder it is to find representation. Wouldn't change myself for the world though, I love my uniqueness, and I appreciate how crazily varied dragons can be. Or any other sort of creatures or identities or experiences. Life is wonderful like that.

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Noemata and Exomemories

I don’t really get much exomemories. Not from other lives at least. Depends on when and how you or I count lucid dream world, it’d be a toss up for me to call all of them exomemories, but I also wouldn’t say some of them aren’t. It gets fuzzy at time whether it truly is just made up chaos from mind, or if it has been a view into a different world. Sometimes they felt like that.

The dream I talked about last day has a bit of element of exomemories in there. How much? I do not know.

Other moments where I have exomemories are from vision. This was me doing a group guided mediation, and I sort of fell asleep, but then.

Thunder booming, flashing, the storm raging. The sky is dark, and the ocean is wailing. Peeking through the clouds, a sliver of form, a white dragon darting in and out of the storm clouds.

I don’t actually know if it was indeed my kardiatype, but there is a inkling of it being true, so I’d like to think so. And based on that, I do think they have a storm based power. Just like your typical generic east asian dragon. (You can see I have a lot of gripe of my kardiatype being seen as Haku)

You can say the rest of the thing I figured or theorized are based off of the exomemories, I would call some of them noemata, even if a bit wobbly. Because how am I sure my kardiatype was a prince of the ocean? To be honest, I’m not certain either. Sometimes there are just things we don’t or can’t know about our identitype, and that’s okay, their significance and for the identification ones, our self identifications, do not diminish just because we end up having created element within. After all, the phrase “to make memories” is not just a metaphor. You are “living, doing, creating, experiencing.”[1]

Talk about created memories vs exomemories. I also had a flash of vision with my hearttype that confused me to no end, because while it is a possible headcanon of mine, my mind was no where near thinking of a headcanon to even get there.

Laughter. A kid with bright blond hair running towards a village, a house. A pair of eldery couple came out to greet the young child.

I know that’s not Konoha. And I know that kid is me/not-me/Naruto.

It’s really interesting how I can remember it so clearly, compare to my dream memories that are faded at the edge, blurry. I think that’s why I see that as a exomemories. There’s too much other sensation, the sight clear, the sound loud, and maybe scent? You also see I had momentary confusion between the self pronoun there. That was the spark for me to ponder if it may be a kardiatype that was later disregarded, as while important to me, my Naruto hearttype wasn’t a foundational building block of who I am. I also don’t know if Kurama was with that Naruto. But here is where noemata comes in.

I have a lot, and a lot of noemata. Things I just know in my gut. Maybe for my fictomere they are influenced by the source material as well as fandom interpretation. But still. Headcanon and imagined story in my head had this ethereal feeling, like they are not all there, much more pliable, but also more distant from me.

My Naruto hearttype has a Kurama with him. And has a far strong tie to Uzushio. I don’t know if Uzushio was around, maybe that’s why that little bit of exomemory, that Naruto wasn’t in any place recognizable. It look like a random village, all wood hut. Maybe those are Uzushio people.

I think that is true.

A lot of the times, noemata just pops out of nowhere. Or sometimes, I ask questions, and something within me will answer. And I will know. It is why when I assist others in self discovery, I will ask questions, and the “no”’s and “maybe”’s are just as valuable as “yes”’s.

Sometimes you don’t even have to ask questions, something external will trigger and you had that lightbulb turning on moment. Like how I realized that three-tailed kitsune is specific is my Naruto hearttype’s paratype, and how my Aurelion Sol is the 5th concept version that people dub the “unbounded” form. Or that my kardiatype’s guarded village was one that was in ancient Japan, not one of the well known period people likes to talk about.

My own style of self discovery is very lax, “follow the flow” style, however. I got a lot of noemata jumpscare this way.

Like how out of the thousands of pokemon, it was Mew that resonated with me and become a archetrope, instead of say, dragonite or ditto.

Like I somehow figured out I’m not neccessary flying so much that I’m floating. Like how Mew does. Or that I don’t breath any elemental attack. Or the various detail discovery with each and every one of my forms, how the aquatic form have far more different physics than many of my other forms (shark head, sonar receptive ears, quill feather on back though that’s more from phantom shift than pure noemata, turtle flipper though that’s more a empathy moment from playing Ark Survive Evolved and seeing how the magmasaur’s hind leg moves), how I’m just certain that the dream dragon kintype is a present thing, current life thing.

It gets harder and harder to tell if some noemata are purely random, or maybe born from the churning of internal contemplation that always accompanied the discussion on alterhumanity within the community. Like when I figure that I do not eat physical substance, or how I know I as a dragon is a spirit, sort of like youkai and kami, sort of a energy being, sort of a pokemon like creature, a rpg monster.

Regardless of exomemories, noemata that are from random chances or from deliberately triggered knowledge, or created memories or personal “canon”, these are all the breadcrumbs of one’s alterhumanity, all important, all precious.

[1] You’re Here to Make Moments, Not Memories

https://medium.com/mind-cafe/youre-here-to-make-moments-not-memories-249970eed41f

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Vocalization

Vocalization is a interesting thing. Is it communication, or voice stim, or making voice just because?

I make a lot of noise. And I know that's a form of stimming for me. But also it provides a sense of euphoria in the ways that I'm free to express myself via making creature noise. I'm not sure how my nonhuman type that doesn't do speech would sound like. I make a lot of chirp, coos, screech, rwers. Partner call them birb noise, especially my chirps. We are pretty much in agreement that I'm a bird sort of dragon.

But I want to indulge in fox sound too, I suppose. The kitsune paratype has me perking up when there's fox video. Fox screaming at each other or that laughing fox. Parnter say my fox is like the Finnegan Fox, or just my general demeaner. I get like a excited puppy, or fox kit, I suppose.

Dragon noise is a funky one. I know the sound that Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon makes this low, purry cooing sound, and I find that one in specific to be something I should be able to do. Almost like a cat's purr. I vehemanly denies any sort of feline within my draconity though. Probably just a case of disliking the "meta" where dragons and cats are put in equivalent a lot. Beyond that, I don't think I make much sort of roar sound. Maybe growl or snarl.

The human voice box has its limitation to immitate the nonhuman sound. I do got my cooing purr down pat though. If you'd get to be in vc with me, I tend to speak in noises more than I do words. It's just easier. Probably a combination of ndness and nonhumanness.

The way I do it is

mouth in the shape as if I'm about to blow bubble

tongue close to the roof, but enough so air can pass through

push the air out. Not just breathing, but do it as if you are doing a vocal practice, and push the air out

adjust the tongue to roof distance as needed until you find the sweet spot that makes the air in your mouth vibrate

then add sound

I sort of learned that when I was a high school freshman. Someone amongst the classmate taught it to us, but only I picke it up fast and master it quicker. Could be my choir experience, could be the creature in me. I'd like to think that it's a combination.

The chirps and screech are just your regular throat really close, mouth open, tongue press up to close the throat, and do the same pushing air motion. Is it a motion if you aren't moving?

There are some cool vocalization that I'd heard folks do. My favorite one is probably Rani (@a-dragons-journal)'s. Still no idea how dre does it, that wobble wobble in the back of the throat sound. I couldn't immitate it.

Perhaps we as a community can collect everyone's voice technique and put together a tutorial. Even better yet, a video to present at a con panel.

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Resonance

I've often use the word "resonance" when assisting others in their alterhuman self discovery journey.

Resonance happens when objects and subjects match in natural frequency. In a alterhuman context, that could mean maybe a trigger for shifts, maybe a sense of something once missed, maybe simply a sense of deja vu that is like a reflection.

Sometimes it is the specific setting in a world giving you a sense of familiarity, it makes you wonder if you'd been there, lived there.

Sometimes it is the gentle sound of ocean wave, something nostalgic. A home that is, yet never was here and now.

Sometimes it is the crickets symphony, you feel the need to join. Because you belonged.

Sometimes it is seeing the vibrant shade of car paint, and maybe that is a coat of something dear to you. Like a lost family.

Sometimes it is the feel of satin, a reminder of what your own actual skin feels like.

It's like the stargazer that looks up into the starry night sky, attempting to map out the constellations. We look, we hear, we smell and taste, we touch, and we just feel the world around us, finding pieces of ourselves echoing back in the forms of a book, a film, a song, a game, a species, a random object, a scape, or maybe we will be like the astronomer, naming things in the sky that reflects us.

We draw meanings and symbols from the outside, seeking memories and finding knowledge within ourselves, maybe something else can be the key to unlock them just as well.

The phrase goes that if you look into the abyss, the abyss looks back. But what if that's just a mirror?

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Perspective

What is “normal”?

As a alterhuman in an active community, talking about the various ways identity works in interesting ways, seeing the world in so many layers, having such a understanding that realities are vast and there’s always more than meets the eye. That’s my normal.

Me with my friends, many alterhuman themselves, and simultaneously queer or neurodivergent. That’s normal to me.

I see mysticism, spirituality, these abstract concept as real and true. That’s my norm even amongst the non-alterhuman part of my relation.

It make things blurry. What is not considered alterhuman then? This is my norm. What is this the orthohuman of this earth, this society’s norm?

Past lives aren’t a alterhuman concept, yet it’s not the average thing this world’s society all talks about. I'd seen it once where some alterhuman folks talks as if it's a alterhuman concept, or originate from within the community. I know there are other concept that got mistaken as of or from within alterhuman community.

How changed are our world view. What is "normal"?

In a more literal sense, let's talk about theme. In story theme where human were changed into another species, often consider monstrous (hmm, intriguing, didn't I talk about that word couple days ago?), they call it a curse, and want to go back as soon as possible. For those of us who identify as nonhuman? That's considered a blessing. Often, we went "but why wouldn't you want that?"

I had just finished Ready Player One today, and there's one scene where they talk about how it is not real, not the real name, not the real self. I told my partner, I said it's interesting, because in my perspective, and I believe in other alterhuman's, we'd be our real selves, with our real names. I think now, that in a case of a sandbox be whatever you want, do whatever you do, create whatever world you can think of sort of virtual reality, we'd be enjoying our hearthomes, visiting our canonmates, chatting with our systemmate face to face, and just, be ourselves freely.

The online, virtual world gets a little blurry for us, I think. Because we are our best, or our truest, or our freest selves when amongst others who also share this experience of alterhumanity.

On a teensy bit more personal stuff that sort of spawned the first half of this.

When I was looking up lore about Aurelion Sol for last day's writing, I saw that he has the title, The Star Forger. It's got that similar vibe to my own self-given title, The Dream Weaver, and I like that. So it got me thinking, "how can I mesh them together, now that both is true?"

I tried looking up synonymous words and common shared concept that combine or contains elements of both. Forger and weaver are both creator, which is easy enough. There is also crafter, but I'm not usually that sort of artist. Between dream and star, there's wonder, mystery, imagination. Ethereal is a dear word to me as a dream dragon that is like a spiritual creature. Astral got too much going on within the alterhuman community already. Same with celestial. They are all good words that I shall set aside to ponder about. But a word that's really resonate with me, as a artist, as a alterhuman with various identitype that has symbolism and general ties to concept related to this, and finally, as the common theme between dream and star--aspiration.

It works for me as the Bond Thread Weaver too.

The Aspiration Creator?

Or, go back to my "root" and identity

Artist of Aspiration

Aspiration Artist

Would I call them archetrope? Or just replacing Bond Thread Weaver?

Or, tying back to the beginning of today's writing, does it have to be alterhuman at all?

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Animality. Monstrosity

In observance of Therianthropy Day, I moved my originally intended idea to the next day. Think of this as a bit of filler episode.

When discussion of using therian vs otherkind for self identifier, my picking otherkind is due to a number of things. It was the entry point for me, and various sub communities I joined afterwards also are otherkinity first, the community and language surrounding otherkinity is also generally more aligned to my experience. One of the bigger reason, however, is due to my lack of identifying with the core definition of therianthropy -- to identify as a animal. Or, in more detail, it is about feeling the animality. What that mean largely has to do with one being instinct driven, aka being thiriant (definition: dominant and driven by instinct or sensory based thinking, the opposite of sapience, coined by @paracosmic-gt). Some would use the word feral as a descriptor. But you know, it's "being a animal".

This seems something easy to grasp, but hard to describe. Because we as a community largely understand animality.

While I am occasionally instinct driven, and behaves like a cryptid creature, I'm not wholly a animal. I'm barely a animal at best.

I am a monster.

I'd written about this not too long ago, but the gist of it is that I'm using it in a "this is the category of this creature" sense. Like those of youkai, kami, spirit creature, rpg monster, pokemon, etc.

I don't function like an animal. The direct equivalent I would say is Mew, as it is the primary reason why I call Mew a paratrope. Even if I can behave like a animal, but at the end of the day, I don't feel like a animal enough to call myself therian. I will still casually partake in therian topic and answer question that is directed at therian, because I do see it the same as asking question to nonhuman otherkin or fictionkin. I really don't think my answer will skew much of a result. There are a dime a dozen of dragon therian after all.

What is funny is that Beast, who is my rage personified daemon, has the apt name, because it is beastly, and would definitely identify as a therian should it be the one hosting this human vessel. The only other identity that I could put under a animal category, is my three-tailed, kitsune paratype element, mythical creature, linked hearttype enfield.

Side note: beyond monster, the other words I'd use for myself would be celestial, mythic/mystic, a bit of divine, a bit of deific. More specific would be dreamlings (those with identity that is or has association with the concept and element of dreams). Do we need to mention draconic? :p

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Adjacentness

As someone with a singular kintype, there are many sub community spaces I do not have automatic membership to.

And that’s fine. Smaller sub community have their own thing, and wider community is the hub where we all hang out at. Sometimes you want to have places that focuses on talking about your canon instead of confused or blank smiles that, are welcoming and accepting, but missing that bridge of understanding.

But on the other paw. Sometimes you look like something, and do generally fit one specific category, but there are aspect of you that you can benefit from these sub spaces, but are not allowed.

Exhibit A: me as a dragon that have more birdness than pure reptile or mammal.

On the large, I am a dragon, and definitely not a bird. But there are things that I simply cannot get out of a purely draconic space, things that I align more with purely bird folks.

Nowadays, I’m even able to go into other places, likes ones that focus on all fictional identities instead of just fictionkind. Or due to linking, I were able to participate in places like fox folk community. Though I feel bad that the kitsune or even enfield is so far more edge of my sense of identity that I wasn’t able to contribute much.

Not to say to link identity just to get entry, that’s messed up. Do it for yourself, and find places that accepts and matches your need.

I’m just really grateful for generic all species and alterhumanity spaces, I love those. I’m grateful for the ‘type specific spaces, like a shapeshifter focused or a draconic focused community, but I’m also really grateful for those grey area spaces that has a defined boundaries that do welcome fringe cases like me.

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Shapeshifter

You know what's interesting about asian mythos? Quite a number of them have shapeshifter power. Kitsune, tanuki, dragons of various culture. There's probably more, but off of the top of my head, that's the typical few. I feel like shapeshifting is more often coming up than storm based power. Wouldn't that be funny? Where the western type of dragons gets overshadowed by fire breath or any sort of breath weapon, on the east side it's all weaving weathers and metamorphosing the physical form. I'm generalizing.

I'd argue that dragons would fall closer to the alterhuman defined polymorph than strictly shapeshifter. But I digress.

Out of all my identitype, only I myself as the dream dragon(kin) feel the capability to shapeshift. At least from the phantom sensation, I think they are all tied to me myself. Like I mentioned on day 4, the kitsune is more a static one that's tied to Naruto, who, yes, can shapeshift in the form of a ninja technique (the henge no jutsu変化の術/transformation technique). Not sure if my hearttype's ability is solid or not, I don't really know, it's tied to the whole thing where there seem to be a number of my identitype capable of shapeshifting, but only I do. Even amongst the head buddies, Akumu, who is my mirror/other self, does not. Nor do Beast, who is my wrath/rage daemon, also incapable of shapeshifting. It's as if I sucked out all the potential power of shapeshifting and hoard it within myself. That's a interesting thought. I feel like Morikai, my kardiatype, was definitely capable of shapeshifting, as per asian folklore on dragon spirits goes. He probably shapeshift into human to go and mingle with the town that he guards. But well, similar to the whole kitsune thing, he is a static image, because he is a past tense. Was? Wow, I cannot do tenses if you haven't been able to tell. My Mew archetrope is also a shapeshifter, but that identitype is also a static one in a way. I'm embodying the role where Mew would be, I am the shapeshifter, and Mew is not a identity of the creature itself, but the role which Mew plays.

It's a strange thing, or not so strange. I am the one living and growing, I'm the one changing. The two vaguetype (one linked one a flicker) aren't shapeshifter within their source material, so I can't compare the experience there. I think I'm most baffled by Akumu's state of being. Maybe because he is mirroring my core essence, which in the more literal sense, mirroring my Core Form.

Maybe I can try linking (kintype style) an actual shapeshifter for a change, to see how it feels. So I can contribute to the whole polymorph AND polykin experience conversation. Eh, not sure if I will ever get there.

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Apperance

There seem to be a common obsession with how one looks. It seem regardless what society or civil function, apperance denotes many things.

And for us alterhuman, it's a key thing to figure out about ourselves.

Beyond figuring out how a 'type works socially, diet, behavior, we would go and find out how they look like as a priority.

Appearance can be a direct expression of the self, so it makes sense. Some would go and make a sona to represent themselves wholesale, like a kinsona, or a system/singletsona.

Even when we do meditation or just general practice to get shifts, we were first told to try visualization.

Envisage is about seeing the appearance of your alterhuman 'type on you.

Developing headspace is a lot of visualization. Which once again deals with apperance.

There's not much of a conclusion to be drawn here as it is just a observation.

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Intentional Connection - the Linking Process

Sometimes I like to refer to my linktype shorthanded. Sometimes as either just heartlink, vaguelink, or if I really want, para-linked hearttype, and collectively linked vaguetype.

I like the extra denotation, because near everyone else is talking about linking as if only identify-as. The community does generally put more focus on identify-as identities.

Both our linktypes are important for different reasons. One is to bridge the different paratype feelings, and the other is for bonds with friends (and for general shenanigan).

How we go about linking the two are slightly different because of that.

For the three-tailed enfield, there's already something there, the paratype element from both myself and my hearttype makes for a good foundation, I didn't have much work but to build on top of whatever was already there, all I needed to do was to link them together.

The way we did it was taking more interest in fox related stuff, or more in particular multi-tailed kitsune. We plan to watch some kitsune focused anime eventually, and make a art for our heartlink. At the moment, we have a number of fox and spirit foxes pins around.

Honestly, we aren't sure if the linking started the process or if it was already a thing, and linking just strengthens the connection, which is probably due to the paratypes.

But I think a large part of it was just simply engaging it with a "I have this feeling of a spark, I want to retain that feeling, and fan it to make it large". It's sort of how it happens with a number of my shapeshifter forms. I go around, holding this thing close to my heart, and whenever something pops up that reminds me of the enfield, I will perk up. That sort of feedback loop is what makes the linking stick. I make it happen more via me actively engaging or seeking these reminder. I feel like it trains the brain to hold onto it that much longer, and eventually you just let it be, and it will be fine on its own.

Now I'm not actively looking for stuff, but I don't need to, I can probably take away the link suffix and the three-tailed enfield is there to stay as a parahearttype. But I like it, I like the reminder of where it came from, and I like being in that community, and exist as a reminder to other questioning alterhuman that yes, my way of linking exist.

With a linktype that came from a preexisting fictional source, you'd think all I had to do was to engage with said fiction. I mean, I could, but this whole thing happened after I long left the source environment. Or perhaps not quite.

I still retain the knowledge of the source. And because of this, when others within the alterhuman community engages with it, I took special interest towards the happening. What pretty much started the linking process, was the want to connect to others who are from that same source. Perhaps we previously held fondness towards the source, or the character in specific. We know we have things going on with what the character's "element" is--stars and cosmos. So that had helped our desire to link.

It's definitely not enough to help maintain the link. The failed dragonite hearttype link was also made happen due to the desire to form stronger bonds with other pokemon alterhuman.

I suppose when put side-by-side like this, my successful linktype are due to either paratype element, or other factors to reinforce the overall linktype structure.

Furthermore, the Aurelion Sol vaguelink was a collective decision, something both Akumu and I(Ryuu) are interested in linking. The linking could have fade without both of us there at the same time, and Akumu tends to disappear to places half the time. It made linking this specific identity a little trickier.

What made it start to grow and "stick" properly was perhaps when I put it on as a proxy, for a bit of a joke. It felt wrong without Akumu there during that time, but trying to be Aurelion Sol for a day has done wonders for the linktype. It felt right, it felt like it could really work.

We kept the proxy.

After that, it's like a little tug at the back of our mind, telling us that it's still there, all we need to do is pick it back up. We also aren't really active with this linktype. We never are all that active with our alterhumanity. But at the same time, it's like a tab opened on the browser, whenever draconity or prompt topic came that we can talk about our relationship with Aurelion Sol in, it's like another boost to the linking process--active discussion with the alterhuman community while keeping in mind of this connection. It makes sense, we wanted to link this 'type because of connections to others, so to make it stronger, we need to connect more with others.

Maybe that's how our method works, going in full circles. Start the desire to link, try around for other stuff, and then go back to what first prompted the linking desire.

The fact that we are gaining noemata for this vaguetype tells me that, like the enfield, this one is here to stay. Because when thinking and talking about it, and the rare noemata, the link became self-sustaining.

I feel a bit uncertain to call this linktype done, but it seem to be doing alright. Perhaps more writing and pondering will help more.

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Archetropy

In some way, I see archetropy as embodying one's own symbolism. Or is it perhaps becoming a symbol yourself? To take on a role, to be in the framework, to embody or identify in some way with a archetype, trope. Compare to being something monstrous, or mythical, or celestial, to have a archetrope feels like to wholly embrace and live being something, and a bit more. It gets a bit fuzzy and there has been discussion of how having archetropal identity can share similarity to having conceptual identity. Yet, the distinction is there, for one is a solid identity, being it, or existing alongside it (conceptual alterhumanity), and the other is something more like symbolic or metaphorical relationship (archetropal alterhumanity).

If I were to say I have a solid relationship with orange or dream, I'd call those conceptual alterhumanity. For me, Mew, ninja, and Affinity Weaver (name pending) are the roles, archetype that I have, took on, or is already. They are not solid identity, but almost like a lifestyle, something that has a shape, a hole which I myself fill in.

In the case of Mew, it's the mythical, whimsical, cryptid nature of Mew. But it's also a sort of special side character in a game that isn't all powerful like the big L Legendary pokemon, yet it fills its own niche. The little mischievousness are also tied in, and a flavor of chaos. I am not a Mew, or identify with mew, but because of all these attribute that I have, my impression of what Mew is, the role Mew filled, which I myself have, Mew is a paratype-archetrope (or, paratrope) to me.

I feel like ninja is self-explanatory. This is definitely one of those chicken-or-egg situation. Is it because of my Naruto hearttype being a potential past life that I have this something with the archetype of being a ninja? Or is it something more generic, a past life outside of Naruto, which I'd suspect to be some sort of Japanese warrior, potentially a shinobi. And it's not just ninja, I have a penchant for stealth genre game, sometimes you are some sort of assassin, sometimes you are some thief. I guess ninja wrap those two up neatly into a single package.

What is Affinity Weaver?

It is something I already embody and live by. I have a self-made title, 糸編むの夢化竜, Thread-weaving Dream Dragon. The thread in question, currently English translation is much lacking and doesn't translate well at all, possibly due to not having such a cultural concept. I'm talking about yuanfen, Wikipedia translate it as "fateful coincidence", a concept in Chinese (and other Asian culture that has Chinese root, potentially Buddhist root) that talks of one's potential connection in life that was due to past lives, like a seed that's planted, a web that had been woven over centuries. I like to talk about it a lot in my earlier alterhuman community life, and I really wish to introduce the concept more in a more official setting, it is such a wonderful concept. Some may thought of only "fate" or "destiny", or even "soulmate", and they are all kinda touching a bit on the concept that is yuanfen. It's like trying to translate certain Chinese word into English, the complexity within a single or two characters is so difficult to express, even with a dozen English word used, it still can't really encompass the whole thing. Yuanfen is like that. I had wrote a bit on my view of how it is very prominant within alterhumanity, and just in general what it could be. I will transcribe it over to tumblr and dreamwidth at a later date, or write up a new one.

What I do on the regular, is that I connect others. If someone express a need for specific sub-communities, and I happen to know or are in them, I try to get them a invite into those spaces. Or if some folks share similarity, if not identical experience, I try to connect them to each other. Sometimes it is me learning niche word and to toss them at people should they need it, but that's something the community already do. Sometimes it's simply me sitting down with someone, and help them figure out their alterhumanity, in their appearance, or any possible way they connect to something. These all seem like something any community member does, but I'd like to think that I especially embody the role of being someone that Connects others. In a punny sort of way, perhaps that's why I enjoy and like Othercon and Otherconnect so much. Maybe I can jokingly call it a Otherconnect archetrope.

Really though, if English weren't the community's primary language, or if it were to be more accessible, I'd probably call myself a Yuan Connector archetroper. Or just have my title directly used, ("Fate") Thread-Weaver archetroper.

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Transience and Mutability of Identity

So I read two really powerful and beautiful posts today. One about the transience of identity. The other one about You Can Just Be.

Like I’d mentioned on day 14, my personal color is orange. Looking back my journal, I had talked about my orangeness as well as how I just, had this idea of myself.

I mentioned the earlier two posts together due to their relevance. At least in my eyes. As a shapeshifter, it is all about change. Identities aren’t always so set in stone. I like the words inherent and intrinsic, stuff from within. As we experience the world around us, time and space, we experience change both outward and inward. It can also mean that it is okay to not have all the pieces, or just make up stuff as you go.

It is your identity, do whatever you want with it forever.

I mentioned something to the other polymorph and shapeshifter of otherconnect discord, that I wondered if I may have been a polymorph, then the draconity took over, and nowadays I’m just a draconic shapeshifter.

My origin stories and theories are always messy, confusing, chicken-or-egg situation. Memories are also fickle thing, every time you try to recall it will twist it a little. What can we be sure of the stuff we remember is true or not? And does it really matter?

If you didn’t click in to any of the links, that’s okay. Let me tell you about my own experience a bit.

Before draconity, I started without a “true” form. I started like your typical alterhuman stories, obsessed about the creature I later learned are called dragons. I’m not sure of the exact timeline of things, but let’s say while in the process of understanding my own nonhumanity (before draconity), I was also in the process of finding my color.

It goes like this. I say red was my color. Then yellow. And then, when a orange coded side character finally shows up, I say “that, that’s my color.”

I think by the time I found the word dragon, orange was already cemented. And while I was discovering who I am as a dragon, I suspected the orange is a intentionally added on aspect, because of how much obsessed I am with the color orange. It’s hard to tell if my special interest is the orange color or dragons (or even birds or art), perhaps all of the above.

In the dreamwidth journal entry linked after my day 14 post, I talk about how I had a dragon that I tentatively dubbed “me” prior to the orange fuzzball dream dragon.

A bipedal dragon with spiraling curled horns, frilly fin for cheeks, belly platted, webbed wings, sharp spine on elbows and ankles. Sounds like a pretty typical western dragon no? But like Daski (@indornaga)’s writing, you can also see foreshadowing, breadcrumbs of my true self.

I really have no idea what happened, but a year was all it took, and the barely there on my mind dragon was cast out. My orange self slam-dunked into my mind, perhaps not quite out of nowhere.

The mutability, how casually I just changed everything. From scale to fur, webbed to feathered wings, spiky spines replaces by soft mane and round features. Somehow still bipedal, in a manner of speaking. My main mode of travel was either flight, or roll.

The previous dragon never got colored though. And I think that’s where the created element comes in. I just went and slap that orange on there. Oh and you can see the red and yellow remained. Why white wings? Probably just because it make sense. At this point my eyes are so cartoonish there’s no obvious color, but later on my eyes are rainbowy pearlescent with rosey pink tint, and black sclera.

I have a thing against mainstream meta concepts.

It is merely speculation, but I suspected that may be why I am the dragon I am. I just want to break tradition, separate from the average mindset, I don’t want to be anywhere near “typical western or eastern dragon”. But that’s mostly a theory that is tied into the potential of just how much of my true self is created. Like the whole involuntary vs voluntary discourse, it is ultimately a pointless thing to ponder. I am already who I am today.

You know the whole thing how some with otherlink identity will get to a point where you can no longer tell where the voluntariness is anymore? Maybe I was originally voluntarily a orange furred dragon, maybe I truly is just a orange furred dragon, involuntarity and all. It all seem so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. The whole contemplation don’t add much value to my self discovery besides anxiety and distress.

You can just pick a color. And maybe along the way, you found other pieces to fit into your personal canon, or you end up finding new parts of yourself. Alterhuman experience is after all, a wonder.