#soiledplanties

[the-not-so-good-planter]

Intro Into Plant Life

As many of us are into indoor plants right now I thought I would share with you my stories and what not to-do’s. I’ve been caring for my plants for about 2 years now and I’m certain I am not progressing with those plants at all. So instead of reading yet another article on how to look after plants; I’m sharing with you my knowledge on what not to do.

My plant collection ranges from philodendrons to calathea’s and a bit of everything in between. If you’re new to the plant parent scene I highly suggest you avoid a calathea. Whilst these guys are absolutely stunning, that is the trick to lure you in. My parents (and I’m sure everyone else’s parents too) told me never to get into a strangers’ car; no matter if they know your name or have lollies to lure you in. Calathea’s are the stranger in the car. Just don’t do it; no matter how experienced you think you might be; no matter how committed you think you are, just don’t go there.

What’s wrong with a calathea? Let’s just say I don’t name my plants unless they’re dying. Why? Because I don’t want my neighbours to know I’m yelling at my plants when they’re dying. It sounds much better if it sounds like I’m yelling at someone. Sometimes I like to see their reactions when I have baby plants and I pretend to be a young mum struggling to keep her children alive. To an extent, it’s true. I’m a young mum struggling to keep her plant babies alive; they don’t need to know that though.

Ok they’re hard but what else? Unless you’re Harry Potter, you will never know what it wants from you. You will never keep them alive. Everyone will tell you they like humidity and they don’t like direct sunlight, therefore, I’ve placed them in multiple locations. The bathroom, the back patio (which is undercover), the bedroom, the dining room, the lounge room. Short of putting it in the kitchen and setting it on fire, the lil’ bitch does not like to live anywhere in my home.

Calathea’s will trick you into thinking you’re a great plant mum. The calathea’s I had were on death row. Then they all started to grow babies! Like a lot of babies! I thought I had finally figured the sorcery out. I was keeping them alive and they were actually growing. This is a lie. Do not make the novice mistake I did. Here I am thinking I’m the best plant mum out, I head off to my local Bunnings. I see a calathea zebrina on discount because its dying. Being the advanced caregiver I think I am, I make the stupid decision to purchase the dying plant thinking I can bring it back from the dead like I did with the ones I had at home. I thought I’d picked up a bargain. How wrong I was. I totally wasted my money! I could have bought myself a cold drink for the same amount of money I wasted on that arsehole!

From memory, the zebrina I named Zane died shortly after. I was so infuriated by him that I just decided it was his time. What do you do when you want a calathea to die? Put it outside of course. In the sun. I put him outside out of sight so that I never had to look at him again. I definitely did not want my plant mum instincts to kick in and water him. No, Zane had put me through too much already. It was either me or him and I didn’t want him to encourage his calathea friends to do the same so… Goodbye Zane.

It wasn’t long before the calthea’s I previously thought I’d revived also started to die. This was their revenge on me for putting their friend outside to die. I struggled and I tried so hard to keep them alive but that’s not what they were telling me they wanted. One long stressful day at work and one quick look at my calathea’s; they too, went outside to die. Orbi, Star and Lutsey pushed my buttons to much that day out they went! I don’t need that kind of stress in my life. Either your plants live or they don’t and in this case, the bastards decided they do not want to live up to the pretty pictures you see online. What a waste of money! The worst part? Since caring for these arseholes I’ve found grey hairs.

Moral of the story; do not buy a calathea. If someone gives you one you give that thing right back. You don’t want these Debbie downers to talk to your other plants and convince them to go to the dark side. Just don’t bother wasting your time or money or happiness on these plants when you can go and buy yourself a cold drink or maybe even lunch. Put yourself first for a change. Buy that top you’ve had your eye on for months. Go get that monstera you’ve been meaning to buy. Literally do anything else; just don’t buy or adopt a calathea!

If after reading this you think you can still keep one alive, don’t come crying back to me when I told you so. Or if you can keep it alive, I dare you to prove it. Nothing on this earth is going to make me want to buy another one of those plants from hell.

- The Not So Good Planter

[blondnblue-22]

Hey bro! Bro! Bro! BRO! Yo Bro! YO! YO!!! #blondnblue22 #blondnblue #bro #brolove #brolove❤️ #unicorns🦄 #unicornswag #instacool #instafool #instabathroom #bathroomselfies #toiletselfies #nerdglasses #bewildered #whiteboystyle #sexywhiteboy #thedude #thedudeabides #soiledplanties #dungeonmaster #dungeonmasterlife #gaysanfrancisco #gayegypt #gaynigeria #gayswithbeards #gaynewzealand #gayaustralian #gayukboy #gaymontpellier #topofthepops (at Spokane, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/CT4Zb7aFbyD/?utm_medium=tumblr

[plantfoundry]

#Repost @plantroverty ・・・ plant shopping with my new friend @plantfoundry 😍 she has all the best tips and will gladly trade plant secrets for pets and tuna fish! . . . . . #plantlady #plantladyisthenewcatlady #houseplantsofinstagram #houseplants #plantroverty #plantrovert #houseplantcommunity #soiledplanties #plantcollection #plantmom #howyouplantin #plantsmakepeoplehappy #houseplantplantclub #urbanjunglebloggers #house_plant_community #plantsandcats #catsandplants #catlady #crazycatlady #theplantfoundrysacramento #theplantfoundry #plantshopping #momjeans #thriftedoutfit #vintagesweaters #vintagelevis #levis #plantsofinstagram #plantsmakepeoplehappy (at Plant Foundry Nursery & Store) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9BBkxdJCio/?igshid=1ejqwmyclp2ec

[plantanarchy]

there’s legit a decently popular instagram houseplant tag called “#soiledplanties” and that’s as good a reason to avoid plantsagram as any!!!

[nonewvintage]

Day dreaming of being @ home with my plants. But I’m not, I’m currently in a freezing studio✨✨�� . . . #nonewplants #urbanjunglebloggers #neonpothos #plantspam #dracaena #dracaenamarginata #pothos #hangingplants #iloveplants #crazyplantlady #plantlife #plantaholic #plantenabler #littlevineplants #soiledplanties #planthoarder #beniceorleaf #flauntyourleaves #houseplants #houseplantclub #houseplantjournal #houseplantplantclub #greenthumb #greenyourfeed #plantmom #plantsofinstagram #plantsarefriends #plantsmakepeoplehappy #realhouseplantsofinstagram #dailyplantdose (at Hot Topic HQ)

[soniafragadias]

Ser simples é o último grau de sofisticação,existe e está nas plantas,no olhar. ______________________________________________________________ @homedeco homedeco Tag someone who needs to see this, the perfect stairway 🌱 ↠ Follow us @homedeco for more plant decor ideas⁠ ↠⁠ ↠⁠Follow 👉@soniafragadias👈 . . . 📸: @soiledplanties #plantshelfie #mybohovibes #monsteramonday #boholiving #boholifestyle #cozycottage #apartmenttherapy #mybohoabode #bohoinspo #myhomevibe #plantasdentrodecasa #bohoinspired #urbanjungleblogger #bohohome #succulentlover #urbanjunglebloggers #myhyggehome #myeclectichome #plantasdecasa #pileapeperomioides #designsponge #calathea #bohodecor #farmhousebedroom #bohohomedecor #currentdesignsituation #apartmentdecor #livingroomstyle #houseplantsmakemehappy #soniafragadiasdesigner https://www.instagram.com/p/CK09wDAJg9j/?igshid=4xkdsyi1z4mh

[succulentsupplyco]

I don't know about you, but at the moment, all our conversations are about it... the corona virus.⁠ ⁠ We're here to provide some light relief for you in this super difficult time 🌷⁠ ⁠ I put my phone down for a few hours today, oh my gosh I felt so much better after a bit of a break. Not to discourage you from reaching out to friends and family, just maybe stop reading the news for 5 mins and see how you feel 🙏⁠ ⁠ So here's a beautiful flowering succulent, our favourite kind, courtesy of @elijahchoo 🌸⁠ ⁠ Let us know how you're getting on and if you have any succulent related questions, seen as you're probably hanging out with your house plants A LOT at the moment 🌵⁠ .⁠ .⁠ .⁠ #succulentsupplyco #dropthehatepropagate #plantsinmyspace #planterina #plantsmakepeoplehappy #leafybeauties #house_plant_community #indoorjungle #myplantaesthetic #girlswithplants #greenthumb #apartmentbotanist #plantmom #plantoftheday #plantparenthood #propagation #plantshelfie #plantaholics #heyplantlady #plantparentcommunity #lifewellleafed #upleaftingcommunity #flauntyourleaves #houseofplantlovers #soiledplanties #greenyourfeed #talkplantytome #succulentflower #lifeisbetterwithsucculents #stressrelief⁠ https://ift.tt/3alCJSj

[ruthdfw]

What an interesting looking plant! I wonder can it withstand my brown thumb? #choosejoy 347/365 #houseplants #containergardening #Repost @soiledplanties ・・・ Prim and proper Fittonia and wild and wacky Fittonia. I love them both. 😊😊

[the-not-so-good-planter]

ELEPHANT EARS (ALOCASIA & COLOCASIA)

Alocasia’s or more commonly known as “elephant ears” are an extremely popular indoor plant due to their supersized leaves. Before you make the commitment to these guys please read on. I was sucked into the beautiful leaves these guys produce not knowing what exactly I was getting myself into. While I still very much love these plants the constant fight with spidermites is draining and so I’ve made the difficult decision to stop purchasing any more elephant ears. I currently have 2 different species of alocasia, one of which I’m not totally sure of what kind it is but I do know it’s my favourite; mostly due to the leaf size and the fact it was my first ever alocasia purchase. The other type I have is the green shield and the green taro which is a similar species called “colocasia”.

Aside from being biased because she was my first alocasia, I have new found respect for “Elly”. As you all would know from my first post, I do not name my plants unless it’s their turn to die. So just as guessed I tried to kill Elly. Almost from the first week I bought her I have been fighting with spidermites. I didn’t want to give up on her because she was the love of my life (don’t tell my husband), but the months went on and I was getting extremely drained from the losing battle. I got up one morning thinking all was well in world of Elly; that I had finally defeated the spidermites; I was so wrong. She was covered in them and I simply decided to stop fighting. I put her outside in the corner where the plants go to die.

I went to see what was the aftermath after a few weeks of solitude and no water later, only to find the spidermites had completely gone and she had popped out new leaves! How is this even possible you might ask? Let me tell you insider tip! Alocasia’s are more of an outdoor plant anyway. Not for sun all day every day but they do prefer the outdoors. What I didn’t know, however, was that spidermites do not like the wind; or outdoor weather for that matter. I did not spray her at all; I had completely given up on her only for her to not only rid herself of the spidermites, but to show me she was worthy of life. Now, I’m not saying that this will keep the spidermites away but it certainly decreases the frequency that they happen. I have since put my other affected elephant ears outside; I have sprayed them to give them a bit of a boost and it too has worked!

Now I mentioned I didn’t water Elly for weeks, simply because I was trying to kill her. Alocasia’s do need to be watered frequently; I water roughly twice a week in summer and once a week in winter. I’ve recently placed my green taro into our pond (hydro) and it is going crazy! So, they do need to be watered more often than every couple of weeks. You will find in winter, depending on where you live, that elephant ears will go dormant. This means that they stop growing as much or even at all. This doesn’t mean that you should stop watering them, even if they look dead. You may have no leaves at all, but that doesn’t mean you should stop watering. Unless of course you get through winter and it doesn’t grow any leaves. Then it’s actually dead and you can throw it in the bin. Until then though, pretend it’s alive even if it doesn’t look like it is!

Elly is now about a year old and only a month ago popped out a flower! Something totally new and different for me as this was my first flower of any indoor plant. I actually thought it was a new leaf, until the flower popped out! Not long after this I had a brainwave thinking this is how I can grow more plants but from seed instead of from a cutting. Instantly I started googling “can you pollenate an alocasia”.  Now, if you have never watched how to pollenate from a flower Bourke’s backyard style, I highly recommend; if not for the wisdom but for the humour. It did, however, seriously freak my friend out to the point where she can never see a plant flower the same so tread carefully.

Testing out my new-found knowledge of how to pollenate an elephant ear, I gave it a go. Now I would like to make aware I didn’t do it Bourke’s backyard style, I found a separate video that wasn’t so graphic. I started to see another flower popping up so I have 2 in total. I gave the pollenating a go and it not long failed. It shrivelled up and looked like a crusted, saggy dick. Not long after seeing the aftermath I decided it would be nicer to simply look and enjoy the second flower that was due to open soon.

Overall an elephants ear is a great plant for beginners, just be prepared to fight with bugs on them and have your bug spray ready. If anyone has successfully pollenated an alocasia please send me pics and any more wisdom you might have. I’m very interested in how to get some seeds out of the sausage!

-The Not So Good Planter

[the-not-so-good-planter]

Bugs

As your collection grows you will come across many different bugs. I typically refer to all bugs as plant termites because if you catch them early, the plant can be saved; just like termites if you don’t catch them until last minute, it’s highly likely that plant will die. There are 3 different types of bugs that are common with indoor plants. These include the mealy bug (white fluffy dots), the spider mite (tiny black dots that form webs) and gnats (tiny fly’s commonly mistaken for fruit fly’s). Do yourself a favour and invest in some spray early into your plant carer life as you will need it!

The mealy bug can be found on pretty much any plant. I’ve had them on my bird of paradise as well as palms and everything in between. If you don’t get rid of them your plant will die. I have found these guys pretty easy to exterminate as long as you haven’t got yourself an infestation. Spray them with bug spray all over, even the base of the plant. If you’re not sure what to get, simply go to your local nursey and tell them what bug you’ve got and they can offer you the right solution.

Sometimes these sprays will cover the most common bugs you’ll find indoors. I like to spray the plants at night when it’s cooler to stop the spray from potentially burning the plant during the heat of the day. Quite often you will find it says to spray every couple of days, however, if you’re like me you want those little life-sucking bastards dead ASAP, so spray your plants all over every day until you find them gone. It could very well be a complete waste of the bug spray but it gives me comfort taking the lives of those bugs that fancy my plants. Keep in mind you paid for these plants so I refuse to lose money on them because of some bugs that decide my plant is its new meal.

The name “spider mite” is very literal, so if you’re not sure what they are think of what mites look like and think of what spiders do. The spidermites are super hard to see; more often than not they are attracted to your alocasia’s but that’s not to say they don’t get to your other plant species. The only way I’ve managed to spot them is from the tiny webs they weave. You can see the damage by looking at the leaves but if you’ve caught the problem early, hopefully, you won’t have any leaf damage. From my encounters, I personally find these are the worst kind of bug.

They are extremely hard to eradicate and spread like wildfire to your other plants. Coronavirus’ contagiousness can be compared to how these suckers spread to your plants. As soon as you find them on your plants, put those affected plants into a separate room and check if any other plants have spider mites. They can literally be spread from getting on your clothing or in my case, from the carpet. I had successfully exterminated the spider mites I had, only to put the plants back to their original spots, only to find they were still on the carpet and so they came straight back on the plants. If there’s a bug I wouldn’t mind wasting bug spray on, it’s the spidermite, however, I do have a great tip to kill off these guys, particularly if they happen to be on your alocasia’s (stay tuned for my next post).

Finally, the gnats. These guys are super common and can be found on literally any plant you have as long as you frequently water it. Gnats are attracted to moisture and you will find these guys more often in the summer as you will be watering your plants more often in summer than in winter. They’re not particularly known as killers unless you fail to stop the problem. What they actually do is fly around the base of your plant where the plant meets the soil; then they lay their eggs in the soil. This is when the plot thickens. Once they’ve gotten to the stage of laying their eggs there’s not too much you can do as you won’t know what’s going on underneath without pulling out the plant and removing all the soil. The eggs hatch and the gnat babies actually eat the plant roots; you won’t know there’s anything wrong with your plant until it’s too late.

You will read multiple ways of how people try to get rid of gnats. You’ll see things like putting ant sand on top of the soil, putting cups of water/diluted honey around the plant, getting the yellow sticky fly traps from Bunnings and putting them in the soil etc. Honestly, the one true way I’ve found of getting rid of gnats is to simply stop watering your plants as much. Sounds weird right? Some plants like to be watered frequently? While this is true it’s not often you will find a plant has to have the soil wet or damp all the time. If you simply wait for the top layer of soil to dry out you will find the gnats will start to stop flying around your plants. It actually works out to be more beneficial for your plants to do this anyway rather than water frequently and keeping that soil damp. If you’re new and you’re still not sure, grab yourself a moisture meter from Bunnings! These are great while you’re learning but as you start to pick up tricks and tips you’ll find you won’t need one as much, if at all.

- The Not So Good Planter

[plantfoundry]

#Repost @tribotanicalworks ・・・ Angles #houseplants #plant #plants #urbanjunglebloggers #green #nature #boho #urbanjungle #garden #midtown #midtownsacramento #midtownsac #sacramento #houseplant #iplanteven #soiledplanties #plantsmakepeoplehappy #plantparenthood #plantlove  #houseplantcommunity #plantaddict #exploremidtown #exploremidtownsacramento #exploremidtownsac #botanical #islandgirls #helloplantlover #bohemian #idrinkandigrowthings #indoorjungle #plantfoundry https://www.instagram.com/p/BzMHrkXJNE9/?igshid=spsmff26i2z8

[nonewvintage]

Moved my entire #propagationstation to my kitchen shelf. So naturally, I had to take a #shelfie amirite? 🤷🏼‍♀️🌱📸 . . . #nonewplants #realhouseplantsofinstagram #realplantsofinstagram #propagation #greenthumb #greenyourfeed #houseplants #houseplantclub #houseplantjournal #beniceorleaf #soiledplanties #talkplantytome #crazyplantlady #iloveplants #idrinkandigrowthings #ihavethisthingwithplants #plantlife #plantaholic #plantenabler #planthoarder #lifearoundplants #urbanjunglebloggers #urbanjungle #urbangarden #plantparenthood #littlevineplants #dailyplantdose #imaplanthoarder (at Hermosa Beach, California)

[succulentsupplyco]

Did you know that succulents will grow healthy and happy in our water plant pots? There’s a metal grid that keeps them in place so you can watch as the roots grow in the water 😍 ⁠⠀ ⁠⠀ Just change out the water every week or so, even the best succulent killer could manage that 💚 ⁠⠀ ⁠⠀ Tap the tag to shop yours now 🌵⁠⠀ ⁠⠀ ⁠⠀ ⁠⠀ #succulentsupplyco #dropthehatepropagate #plantsinmyspace #planterina #plantsmakepeoplehappy #leafybeauties #house_plant_community #indoorjungle #myplantaesthetic #girlswithplants #greenthumb #apartmentbotanist #plantmom #plantoftheday #plantparenthood #propagation #plantshelfie #plantaholics #heyplantlady #plantparentcommunity #lifewellleafed #upleaftingcommunity #flauntyourleaves #houseofplantlovers #soiledplanties #greenyourfeed #talkplantytome #succulentpots #propafeels #waterplantpot https://ift.tt/2M2eMFc

[succulentsupplyco]

The cyber Monday sale is live 🎉 Sign up for your exclusive discount code at the link in our bio 🤗 . . . #succulentsupplyco #plantsinmyspace #planterina #plantsmakepeoplehappy #leafybeauties #house_plant_community #indoorjungle #myplantaesthetic #girlswithplants #greenthumb #apartmentbotanist #plantmom #plantoftheday #plantparenthood #propagation #plantshelfie #plantaholics #heyplantlady #upleaftingcommunity #flauntyourleaves #houseofplantlovers #soiledplanties #greenyourfeed #talkplantytome #aplantment⁠ #propafeels #propagationstation #dropthehatepropagate #waterpropagationstation #waterpropagation⁠ https://ift.tt/2P4N8bt

[succulentsupplyco]

Cyber Monday Sale 🎉 for our subscribers only! Head to the link in our bio and sign up to make sure you don't miss out! ⁠ .⁠ .⁠ .⁠ #succulentsupplyco #dropthehatepropagate #plantsinmyspace #planterina #plantsmakepeoplehappy #leafybeauties #house_plant_community #indoorjungle #myplantaesthetic #girlswithplants #greenthumb #apartmentbotanist #plantmom #plantoftheday #plantparenthood #propagation #plantshelfie #plantaholics #heyplantlady #plantparentcommunity #lifewellleafed #upleaftingcommunity #flauntyourleaves #houseofplantlovers #soiledplanties #greenyourfeed #talkplantytome #succulentpots #cybermonday #sale https://ift.tt/2ss5JGR

[succulentsupplyco]

Our water vases are such an easy way to grow succulents. If you've ever struggled with keeping a succa alive, or you have one that's looking a bit sad at the moment, pop them in our potion bottle vase and watch the roots grow like magic! ⁠ The potion bottle vase will also make quite the statement in your home or on your desk at work 🧪⁠ .⁠ .⁠ .⁠ #succulentsupplyco #plantsinmyspace #planterina #plantsmakepeoplehappy #leafybeauties #house_plant_community #indoorjungle #myplantaesthetic #girlswithplants #greenthumb #apartmentbotanist #plantmom #plantoftheday #plantparenthood #propagation #plantshelfie #plantaholics #heyplantlady #upleaftingcommunity #flauntyourleaves #houseofplantlovers #soiledplanties #greenyourfeed #talkplantytome #aplantment⁠ #propafeels #propagationstation #dropthehatepropagate #waterpropagationstation #waterpropagation⁠ https://ift.tt/2KSeb8y