#socilaising

[marchessa]

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[trafficpan-ic]

Omg im doing so good

[emo-nova]

Do you ever think if Shen Yuan is so cultured as he is in the Internet is becuase he was in fact sickly and constantly in hospital and thats how he socilaised for years with other people. And the reason he couldn't go back to Bejing Uni was due to some medical issues forcing him to go back to the hospital, which then made him find PIDW.

Now, imagine SQQ is drunk, like full on drunk and just spouts something about disliking the smell of Cian Cao Peak due it smelling like a hospital and he had enough of that in just one life time.

Imagine, SQH finding about it and finding that maybe he was able to live a life that he was sure of his identity rather than a sickness that he had.

Imagine, SQQ shut up about that pity and tells him it's the past now, it's done and gone.

Both of them don't bring it up when their sober, but there is a strange amount of comfort in the use of Internet lingo used more.

[placeinthemiddleofnowhere]

i have been re-reading a rocky start for the 67583675th time, and i have noticed how stereotypically austrian könig is????

i read this blog post that says: "Austrians love a good walk, or hike, or mountain bike, or rock climbing or going for a 'Wandern' - which is a hike that can go for hours...Then in winter there's skiing, snow boarding, ice skating, or 'touring' which is hiking (again)."

and then we have könig mentioning that he hikes, rock climbs, AND skis.

Ahaha, I've definitley not swerved any stereotypes but I don't think I realised how stereotypical I went 😭😂

The hiking and sports made sense to me because I think as someone who's socially awkward and been in the forces, being active and wandering around mountains would be the perfect way for könig to spend his downtime. I don't picture him as someone that would be able to sit around the house by himself, and given he doesn't have many friends except for Horangi and maybe a couple of people he stays in touch with from old army units he wouldn't be out socilaising a ton either.

Drinking culture in the army speaks for itself as well, that boy was gonna love his beer one way or another 😂

[forbiddensoul562]

Fem near and Mello thoughts

Mello will use the fact that people underestimate her against them, like she will make a person underestimating her a consequence and a blasphemous sin (a fem light and L will have that in common) , female Mello hates being looked down upon, like Canon, if one does that to her, they are to be condemned and punished, she may have developed sadistic, narcissistic, and obsessive tendencies as a defence mechanism against her religious dogma treatment she received back at her home.

She really finds a lot of comfort in Marie, admires her even and might actually believe that she should be the real Jesus or God due to the fact that she may have not seen the qualities that Marie has in the men and boys around her despite Jesus or God himself having them, God and Jesus are a reflection of how men are supposed to be and what they are, Marie is a part that all women and girls should or are supposed to have (because to Mello, a woman being as kind as Marie is just not possible because she will be taken advantage of by bad people) .

She will also believe some really problematic shit about men due to her stay at the mafia and what she has seen, or what her mother had told her, so she will be extra and more cautious around them, not to say that she isn't cautious around women, as well. Mello also finds comfort in Matt (or Matte, Mattie? Ehhh...well), like she does in Marie(I will come back to this in Near's part.)

A female near will put on a mask of 'meekness and invisibility, as well as being spaced out' for her own safety, or for when she perceives the situation to be unsafe or not worth dealing with. What is different is that unlike mello, it is a significant part of her she might have a hard time letting go of. What is interesting is that with such a skill that she has developed, she will also know how to blend in more with the crowd, use people underestimating her at first impressions against them (maybe in an Au, she might be a spy---no, that's for Mello or Matt, but a nun, yes) , but the draw back will be that she will be much more underestimated and not listened to in Canon due to her faint presence that she puts on.

I believe that canonically, Near is autistic or on the asperger's spectrum, and it is a well-known fact that girls on such a spectrum or with autism tend to mask more and 'pretend' because autism and asperger's is mostly associated with men and boys, it also wasn't wildly studied in women and girls for it was thought that symptoms and traits of asperger's and autism that girls showed were just them being attention-seeking, or trying to be funny, and quirky, they also get a lot of backlash for being really blunt, like a lot because women and girls in society are expected to soften and flower their words up---- oftentimes women and girls get diagnosed with autism and asperger's quite and very late compared to their male counterparts, due to the different symptoms that may also present themselves.Female Near has started wearing her persona earlier, in contrast to Male Near. She lets people assume things about her, see her as dreamy and distracted and robot.

With the masking-that-women-do-phenomen, sometimes it can get as bad as the mask sinking in, and if they try to remove it, their true selves may also tear off, fortunately for Near Her going to Wammys house may have prevented majority of it, but not all. (Masking is also said not to be very good for a person's mental health)

Now, back to fem near, she might have needed to mask from when she was a really young child and, mask or stim 'appropriately' and in an acceptable way.

Near might be seen as a shy girl who is withdrawn, that is 'feminine' according to her environment, her having a hard time or not wanting to socilaise with people will be considered her being shy (feminine) , or arrogant (a girl who is all that, a 'bad' girl) ; she will get picked on for both by both girls (but maybe mostly girls, 'cause 2000s mean girl internalised misogyny) and boys.

When she gets to Wammys, people will be confused because she will have both a robot and a doll (she will also look quite androgynous, but tilt a bit more on the feminine side) , her gender might be cleared when she is asked "are you a girl or a boy?" By Matt and Linda who thought that Near was a really cute, feminine boy, of course Near says she is a girl and asks why Matt and Linda wanted to know, they are kind of saddned and disappointed, but they don't show it, Near notices and is a bit confused as to why they seem desolate.

Their dynamics don't change overall that much, however.

Babe, wake up, new fem!Mello and Near headcanons just dropped~

[glorioustidalwavedefendor]

Humans

Using sex to socilaise and strengthen the groupdynamic since forever ...

new fic trope just dropped

[vroenis]

How Do We Begin To Answer Some Of These Questions

Straight off the bat, it’s a shitter to not put a question mark at the end of that title, I’ll acknowledge that. Like everything I do, that’s very intentional and sure, annoying as all fuck. I hope that’s not too great a deterrent, tho, because I feel like this is a worthwhile discussion even if it’s going to be perhaps one of the most frustrating. But first, an image and a clear content warning for suicide and mental health.

I’m sure if you’re here on tumblr, there’s a good chance you’ve had some contact with social media in some form. That means you’ve also had some contact with folks posting about there not being much difference between their experiences with isolation prior to the SARS-COV-19 pandemic or Covid, as we’re now abbreviating it to for convenience, and the social isolation most commonly state enforced or at least heavily suggested under medical guidance.

It won’t surprise you that I’ll echo those sentiments; life for me in social isolation certainly isn’t much different at all. I have three close friends I see in person who I communicate with on the wire intermittently now on limited subjects, almost none of which are those I’m passionate about save for one - R, who digs many of the films and music genres I’m into, plus we’re both into Lego and I used to be into Gundam/Gunpla so I love talking about his new kits, but otherwise there isn’t much difference now to how things were before. It won’t surprise you that while I’ve not gotten around to an official diagnosis of such, the timeline being disrupted by the topic at hand, on top of the bipolar 2/mixed/whatever that already constitutes the state of living and experience my life is, I’m likely non-neurotypical.

At my age, due to some of my experiences but also with significant support from J, I think I’ve been fortunate to get a handle on some of my behaviours fairly well, but I’m still intolerant of a lot of stimuli in many ways. I’m good about it insofar as I don’t always have bad reactions, but it does mean I can’t always subject myself to things so avoidance is often the best course of action. Whether this means exposure to/indulgence in art, media, and experience including certain people or just types of cultural events if I’m not in the right frame of mind, or simply priming myself to be mindful and say little, monitor my behaviour and do my best to be measured and slow in my thought when responding, interacting with others can at times be difficult. It’s not impossible. I’m happy to say most of the time I’m extroverted. I love being around people. It may be in part the bipolar or perhaps just my character, for some reason folks seem to want to keep making a distinction between the two - sure - but I’m usually understimulated so being around people is often fascinating and enjoyable, equally so frustrating when I eventually and inevitably find myself unfulfilled but I’m learning that’s mostly on me and it’s my responsibility to catch it and be cognisant of my thoughts on that.

So here’s the thing about being bipolar or to be honest, I don’t really care whether it’s due to bipolar or non-neurotypical or not because it doesn’t matter. Here’s the thing about being in mental states that others aren’t always in because it’s really just about not being able to connect with people;

An individual craves connection with other people. I don’t want to speak for everyone, let’s not do that, that is to say I’m not doing that. I want to say that I, and any one other person, may want to connect with other people. I crave connection. A theoretical person wants connection. My pathing on this might be a bit hackneyed, apologies, but I have to think it thru a particular way - roll your eyes and/or have a chuckle, hopefully the psychologists in the room will do both;

You try to share and communicate subjects you want to connect on.

Sometimes you fail to connect with the individual for various reasons.

Sometimes you fail to connect on the subjects for various reasons.

Over time it’s difficult to find any people at all who want to connect on those subjects for various reasons - I think this may be fairly normal for adults.

Sometimes there are people who are interested in the subjects, but those people are difficult to connect with for various reasons.

Sometimes you end up successfully connecting with people on different subjects which is good, and those connections are enduring, nevertheless you still are left without connections on subjects you feel you need and want.

I feel like the text in italics in point 4/D (weird tumblr formatting) is important - that this may be fairly normal for adults - for many of us, bonding past our twenties becomes a little more arduous. We know what we like, what we don’t. We know what we will tolerate, what we won’t. Some adults are more easy-going, many of us have had some more rigorous experiences than others and not all of us, but for many of us that means we’re a little less accepting of certain behaviours. There’s a sense of not wanting to waste time and time wasting constitutes different things to each one of us. Navigating that is a spiky business, I’m sure.

That rolls into 6/F tho - it’s becoming more and more important for me to find people, or perhaps I should correct myself... connection... on those subjects I deem important. Culturally, emotionally, politically, and here it comes - artistically (the most important one :P (TONGUE POKING OUT IN ASCII ( EXCEL NESTED PARENTHESES JOKE))). A lot of that is loaded into what contributes to how I define my long-term relationship with J, for example, and how I assess the health of our relationship. A great deal of how we assess its health relies on us constantly communicating with one-another what our values are and connecting over them. Intimate relationships naturally don’t cover the full scope of adult interactions and experience, so it’s appropriate that we have lives outside of our experiences with one-another.

What do we do if and when we aren’t satisfied with the cultural, emotional and artistic engagement we’re experiencing in our lives? What do we do when we seek it out and don’t find it? What do we do if we begin to feel frustration at not finding it? Fatigue? Exhaustion? Distress and the onset of hopelessness? Am I replacing the distant, collective We article with I in order to make these personal questions? I’m not going to dance around that, of-course I am. I ask myself these questions every day. These are the questions in-between the presupposition and one of the answers I’m going to suggest, because there is at least one answer.

I don’t know if these were questions some of these people were asking, how can I know. I realise I often don’t put question marks in my writing because I’m attempting to suggest verbal intonation rather than correct grammar and it’ll have to do - I feel like there should be some kind of accommodation for that, I’m sure someone’s written something clever and contemporary about the function of grammar but I’m too lazy to go hunting for it. One answer to these questions if they were being asked comes from artists - the artists who may have answered them with devastating finality, and if you’ve read my journal thus far over the last few months, you know I’m going to talk about Jóhann Jóhannsson.

Jóhann Jóhannsson completed suicide.

This is the feeling I get when I say; 

‘I feel like we all failed to create a better world for Jóhann Jóhannsson, one where somehow we understood his experience, one where he was understood. One where what he was feeling was OK, and where he had the time and space to be however he was being and not have to worry about whatever it was - I don’t know what it was - paying bills, buying groceries, turning up to work on time, saying “good morning” endlessly,’

Does this mean he should have been able to live a life where he had no accountability or responsibility? Not at all, you know that’s not what I mean. I’m not advocating for people with mental health challenges to not ever have to do their best to live life and just have people do everything for them. We are more intelligent than that. We can step way back from the precipice of society’s complete failings in dealing with significant mental health and see that we still don’t deal well with anything that falls remotely outside the parameters of this bizarre definition of normal we seem to have. Contemporary society still doesn’t even have mechanisms to educate their own children in sexual health and behaviour under the definition of “normal” and you want to tell me we can deal with mental health? We don’t even know how do deal with stress - we haven’t figured out how to treat people of colour right and pay women equally in the workplace and you think we’re ready to tackle mental health?

So how do we think queer women of colour are coping on the mental health front, then? My life is no picnic but you know what? As much as I’m a first-gen migrant kid, I’m white-presenting, so as far as society goes, life is so much easier for me and that is a massive position of privilege that I did nothing to achieve, so before I’ve opened my mouth or anything about my sexuality, gender or mental health is known, I’m already perceived in society fairly well. Queer women and trans people of colour have it most difficult and yes, it’s not a contest, I’m not making it one but we all have these questions. Oppression is one question and connection is another.

For many reasons, we can’t have a discussion about suicide here. They’re not edgelord reasons either, put that away. Suicide is a complex and important topic we don’t talk about when it’s one-sided meaning text only with me writing and without the opportunity for you to speak, me to listen and for us to have actual dialogue. You and I don’t know one-another and if we do, then you have my cell number, my email address or some direct channel to contact me on and that’s how we should discuss it in a way that affords us time and space to do so. So while I won’t say anything further about suicide, I will say that while suicide is one answer it cannot and must not be the only one. It definitely isn’t, and people definitely find connection. I’ve found connection with people, but I’m still not satisfied. I still want better, deeper, more intense, more meaningful, more enduring, ever growing connections. How do we do that as adults with the increasing rigours and concerns we have to bear?

How do we begin to answer some of these questions?

[asexualbookbird]

GONNA SEE ERIN MORGENSTERN AND PET SOME KITTENS TO NIGHT YALL

[tadpoledyke]

i really liked ur post about utena being queer regardless of being specifically bi or lesbian canonically! i do wanna say that the term/concept of “socialized female” is a terf talking point and idk if u are aligned with terf politics..but if not, i wanted to let u know so u could reflect on that and maybe rethink the whole “socialized female/male” idea

Hi! I’m glad you liked my post and thank you so much for bringing this to my attention! I am absolutely not a TERF this blog supports trans women and nonbianry people so much! I’m enby myself! I didn’t realise this was Terfy language but I can see how it is.

When I said women and female socilaised folks, I include trans women under the category of women, and under female socilaised folks I put nonbinary people, trans men, intersex people, afab people in general, etc. Idk if there’s a better, more concise way of encompassing all gender identities who experience misogyny but if anyone knows please tell me!

[aleksandermorozovaa]

What does one do when they want to meet new people and find someone, yet their violently afraid of socilaisation, putting themselves out there and most importantly dating apps? 

[laws-hat-headcanons]

Hello hcbrainblorps! Would you like to write one of the sentence prompts, "Let me hug you" with Sanji? Your last Sanji fic was pretty special.

Hi Maria-chwan, thanks for the ask! I hope you like it!!

Sanji x Reader

"Let me hug you."

You sit on the side of the Thousand Sunny, watching as the sun starts to sink below the horizon, casting golden light over the waves.

You can hear the sounds of the crew in the galley, laughing and shouting over dinner. You should go join them but you're really not in the mood to socilaise today and have been avoiding your friends all afternoon.

With a sigh you drop your head in to your hands and debate just going to bed, to get the say over and done with.

You don't hear the sound of the galley door opening or the sound of footsteps on the stairs, approaching you. You're too busy deciding if it's worth grabbing a bottle of sake before you head off to bed. To drown your sorrows.

"Name-chan," Sanji says from beside you, making you jump. You glance up and see him standing at your side, plate held in one hand, the other tucked in to his pocket. "You missed dinner."

"Sorry Sanji-kun, I'm not feeling hungry," you tell him, glancing at the dish in his hand. "Luffy can have my share."

"Its not good for you to miss meals, Name-chan," Sanji tells you, setting the plate down on the side between you.

"I know Sanji-kun, I just don't fancy it right now." You say, giving him a half smile.

Sanji let's out a little hmm as he leans against the Sunny, pulling a cigarette from the pack and lighting it. He takes a deep drag and blows out the smoke before speaking again.

"You've been quiet all day Name-chan, is everything okay?" The cook questions, watching you quietly.

You keep your eyes fixed on the water and give a little shrug.

"To be honest Sanji-kun, today isn't a good day to be me," You tell him, rubbing the back of your neck. "I-id rather not talk about it, if that's okay."

"Of course, I didn't mean to pry." Sanji says, watching the smoke swirl into the growing darkness.

You swing your legs back to the deck, being careful not to knock the dinner Sanji brought out for you.

"It's not that, I just... I don't really want to start crying in front of you, Sanji-kun." You admit, embarrassed.

You know as soon as you start explaining why today is such a bad day for you the floodgates will open and you won't be able to stop the tears.

"Name-chan, you know you can talk to me - to any of us - about anything," he tells you. Sanji steps towards you, placing his hands on your shoulders. He holds your gaze, all traces of the flirty love cook gone, replaced by genuine concern for you.

"I... Thank you, Sanji-kun," you say, giving him the first real smile of the day. "Ne, Sanji-kun could I... would you.. would you let me hug you?"

Sanji blinks at you in surprise before moving back a pace and opening his arms. You push yourself up and step forward into his embrace, wrapping your arms around him while burying your face in his chest.

You don't see Sanjis expression soften or the sad smile he gives you, all you know is that as his arms close around you and you inhale his scent, you feel safe.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

there has been an enquiry after our big baby boy, foster pupper Harvey

they have the right fences and have had big dogs before, are willing to take the time to train him (when we got him he couldn’t sit still for more than half a second and just jumped and bounced because he was s stirred; he is so much further along, but not ready for socilaisation yet), had a little elderly great dane until they passed of old age 

they have a nice spot and pyjamas waiting for him, if the meeting goes well

but I would be very sad. he may be a little shit sometimes, but having him curl up as a little spoon on my bed is lovely, even if he sometimes sits on your head and licks you relentlessly because he worked out how to jam his face under any pillow you put up as a shield

he can sit, have quiet time, come, play ball, and almost interact with cats (never unsupervised, but if you bring one in in your arms and tell him to Wait, and introduce them nicely, he’ll sniff and lick them for a bit)

like, he came so very, very far from when we got him, even stopped being bone-guarding (to an extent) when we firt got him he legit bit my sibling (a little) in panic that someone would take his bone... the other day, like a year later, he sat at my feet and ate it. I could pat him, I actually told him I was going to take it and then did, and he was chill about it.

My son. My puppy boy, who can put his paws on your shoulders and lick your forehead and has since we got him at 9months...

-------

There had been a few enquiie before, but they had little kids in the house and he has no real concept of his size or strength yet. Some also had small fences, and didn’t want to change, so like... no. This dog could be called houdini, he can get out of normal dog fencing (he squishes down like a fucking octopus and slid right through a Square. itshould not have worked. but it did) and we changed the house fence to smaller dog wire to prevent that happening a fourth time

he escapes because he’s impulsive as hell. ‘oh, wallabies out there? gotta chase!!!’ and the next thing you know. he’s out there, chasing them and not coming no matter how many treats or squeaky toys you try to lure him in with. He might come now, because there’s a lot of work gone into it, but im not spending 6 hours chasing him just to test it lmao

----

He is our fifth foster puppy, and the longer you have them, the harder goodbye is. But, sometimes you get a really good family who sends you updates, or even a One year later update with photos, like Willow’s new furever family did.

And knowing that if they decide the pupper doesn’t fit in or they find them too hard to handle/too much for them... they’ll come back to their original foster family, is reassuring. 

----

You should have seen my face when I initially went to get what was supposed to be two tiny puppies, and was provided with Harvey a supposedly nine month old. Allegedly. He was like, bigger than a shetland pony, and his first instinct was to lick my forehead by, you guessed it, putting his paws on my shoulders and just COVERIGN me with spit.

Had to ick him up from the local RSPCA (where the transporter was able to drop him off, to wait to be picked up, so they could cntinue with the other animals in their care to the next town), and the little bugger already leapt the five foot playpen holding enclosure thing... so three people helped wrestle him into the only-just-big-enough harness I brought

getting him into the car was... fun. driving home with him was... even more fun. Especially loved the part where this dog, with his harness and doggo seatbelt on, was able to stand up, lean forwards vaguelyuely and lick the back of my head, shoulders, neck and hair the ENTIRE way home...

and then I was like, “Dude, you will not believe the size of our new foster brother” (the fmily joke being that parental unit s the foster parental unit, and we’re the human siblings.

sibling was like, “?” and then “!!!”

I remember calling the parental unit at work like, “Hey, so could you maybe come home at lunch and Meet the New Puppy”

Parental Unit always says that was when they got suspicious... and then they met this huge boy. “Ah, I see what you meant”.

He had to have a crate, because there was no way to calm him down except (wait for it) putting him in the crate and covering it with a sheet and talking softly.

Oh, and Harvey makes these sad high pitched noises you’d never expect of a bg dog, and he sounds like a bird. Just the SADDEST bird boy in the WORLD when he wants affection and doesn’t get it (which would be 24/7 in his perfect world). 

He also has learned to pee in the manner of all his sisters (the animal ones) by squatting. He was very confused at the praise he got the one and only time we caught him peeing with his leg up, like a big boy, but otherwise hs never done it again. Lmao. As long as he’s happy.

----------

He might just... find his furever family, very shortly. And that will be hard, but the people who asked after him seemed... perfect.

Maybe. 

My boy... 

[omprakashpjs]

Day Care Center in Behala, Kolkata

After School Day Care provides crèche with air conditioned rooms, cctv, toys, music system, books library, trained maids, montessori certified teachers and hygiene environment where children feel at home. Amongst other facilities the day care unit is also equipped with an oven and refrigerator to take of the fooding requirements of the child. We proudly claim our day care as a second home. All our children look forward to come back and have fun every day. Children love to spend time in day care as they mostly enjoy the company of peers and enjoying socilaisation. Children discover different playing themes, enjoy the activites conducted in day care center like dancing, handwriting, storytelling, music, drawing, art and craft. The day care also provides tuition and study help to the children. Children are kept engaged and learn many skills as per the activities performed in the centre. Parents call us family day care. The added advantage of After School day care center is that children get also exposed to pre school environment as After School is associated with Euro Kids international pre school. Small children love their surrounding with kids around and never feel lonely and isolated.

The trained Montessori teachers provide parental care with focus of cognitive development of each child. Children have a differential experience with nurturing in table manners, toilet manners, language under caring environment. Our professional management assures parents on personal care of the child under trained staff and safe environment. Parents love our initiatives on health camp, festival celebration, summer camp, festival celebrations and other theme based events.

[cay-adler-blog]

Another day, another load of shit. Cay pulled her bag onto one shoulder and walked away from her dorm. Last year she had the comfort of her own room and could use it to hide in when she wasn’t in classes or the mess hall but this year the school had decided all by themselves that she needed to socilaise more. All it really did was take away her safe space and forced her to say hi to someone when she woke up, but other than that they hadn’t spoken much. 

Her hand was reaching for the building’s exit door when someone behind her said something and she figured they must have been talking to her. Hestitantly, Cay turned and looked at the person standing there. They seemed familiar but she couldn’t remember what their name was. “What?” 

[sstudiosarchitecture]

#1 The objective of this proposal was to identify spaces around urban settlements which has changed its course of convention interms of socilaisation. We picked up the pattern of Durga Puja in Kolkata that changed throughout the settlements of North and South Kolkata. There was a stark difference in the utilisation of space and the effect of the ephermeral nature of these temporary structures or "pandals". . . . . . #archdaily #architecturephotography #illustrarch #pandeldesign #durgapuja #kolkata #kolkatapujo #graphicdesign (at Salt Lake Kolkatta) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1Le6pIAHA1/?igshid=1pjpmnecf02vp

[omegadj1-blog]

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