#social obligations

[fieriframes]

[He disliked the social obligations of the captaincy.]

[otherpeoplescreativity]

Very much this!

I need to add a "furthermore to it, though.

Furthermore: If you try it a few times and they don't reciprocate, ask a couple of your repeat guests/letter recipients if this is a thing they're enjoying enough to also do.

And if they enjoy it enough to go along, but not enough to actually reciprocate ... cross them off your list for this kind of activity, and seek out new participants.

For decades, I threw themed parties. No one ever took a turn, not even the other people living at the same physical address.

I remember the two sequential years when I planned, organized, and hosted birthday parties for every member of our social group, and I had no birthday party at all either year.

I spent fifteen years planning potluck themes for gaming night, making a list of sample suggestions that would fit it, adding a footnote of everyone's dietary restrictions, and finishing up with a repeat of the rule that anyone could opt not to contribute in which case he would not be eating with us. I did the pre-cleaning and the post-cleaning and the serving and the research for next theme. If I was the GM, someone would put the shared serving dishes out of my reach on the gaming table -- I literally only got to eat if I stopped the session so I could go dig up a meal for myself.

My mistake was that I expected the people who theoretically liked me to pick up on all of this by osmosis.

What I ought to have done was to simply ask, around themed party number three, "Do you like these themed parties? Are you enjoying them enough to take a turn at planning, arranging, and host duties? It's fine to say no! I don't want to be doing a lot of back end work that isn't worth it for the rest of y'all." Real friends would not be too afraid of me to say "this is not really my fandom".

one thing i need to start living by is “become the thing that you want” if i want friends who throw themed parties maybe i should start throwing those parties. if i want someone who writes me love letters maybe i should start writing letters for the people i love. if i want to hang out at museums and pretty cafes maybe i should invite my friends to these places. and maybe even then i won’t find the kind of people i want to be around. but then i would have become the exact person i want to be around. and maybe that’s good enough.

[benk625-blog]

Spouse: Do you want to go to [so-and-so]'s funeral?

Me: Not really

S: Why not?

M: I'm not a loved one.

S: You don't have to have loved someone to go to their funeral.

M: I wasn't really close to them.

S: It's not about affection,it's about paying respects.

M: I didn't respect them either.

[howifeltabouthim]

You always have something to keep you occupied. Parties, dances, and all that sort of thing.

L.P. Hartley, from The Harness Room

[tenth-sentence]

Some of the rules and obligations based on kinship affected everyday behaviours for particular groups, such as which way one should face in a small-group setting, if and when one must leave a group upon the arrival of another person, and the necessity to sometimes pass information to another through a third person.

"Design: Building on Country" - Alison Page and Paul Memmott

[demi-raven]

In 1984, the imagined hellish dystopian future appears very centered around hanging out at the community centre and participating in community hikes.

[rocketbirdie]

it's all subjective

[twopoppies]

This is so, so lovely 😔

And I have the feeling, this description fits all 5 of them… There is a reason why we (still) feel attached to them.

“He never once asked for anything. He did not want publicity, he did not want people to know, he just didn’t have that motivation – he saw a need and knew he could help.”

https://x.com/hs_news_/status/1849428317008461953?s=46&t=HJNgJeyaKbaPu8DTunwOUA

💔 I’m so sad. And so angry.

x

[buwheal]

Why does the orange Addison's mannequin kinda resemble you?

[andiv3r]

Not to be that guy, but... hey he/they trans guys, I just wanna ask. Do you use "they" because it feels right... because it clicks as part of your identity... or because it doesn't hurt as much as she/her, so it must be okay.

And don't just evaluate this for they/them. Evaluate it for he/him as well. "I'm a guy so I have to use he/him" no the fuck you do not. Plenty of guys use they/them. Plenty of guys use she/her. Plenty use it/its/ve/vir/ce/cir and are still men. If he/him doesn't fit, you don't fucking have to use he/him and it doesn't make you any less of a man. You know that... right?

Also before this post starts an argument I am not pissing on he/they pronoun users I am simply reminding all you transmascs that there is no obligation binding you to those specific pronouns... a post I needed to see myself.

[tinystepsforward]

[aotearoa] if you're over 30 and haven't gotten the xbb1.5 booster try to do it THIS MONTH

our piece of shit fascist moneylover government is likely cutting funding to covid vaccines for the great majority of people on july 1.

someone who has access to te whatu ora emails posted this on twitter — it hasn't hit the news yet, but others working in healthcare appear to be confirming it's quite likely, so keep that in mind. we knew a month ago that they were revisiting changes to funding as of the new budget. they're also fucking changing the way sick leave works so that part-time workers will get a hell of a lot less. this winter.

if you're under 30 like me, go ask your pharmacist anyway! mine gave it to me and my wife, and i know there are others around the country who will. ask around until you find someone who will give it to you.

we're entering the biggest covid wave since dec 2022, this government is generally destroying the ministry of health and disability funding, you deserve to do what you can to secure any modicum of protection now. it's worth a shot, pun not intended.

[achaveles]

Here's my gift to @handstotheskye for the @mcytblrholidayexchange for 2023! Hope you like it!

(Original sketch under cut)

[bamsara]

Also why did July become of the most busiest, hottest and most expensive month of my life

I need August to become boring as shit. No more shit happening to me, no more emergencies, no weddings, no birthdays, no health scares, no more heatwave, no more social obligations, no nothing I just want to stay home, make stickers for my life blood aka patreons and write fanfiction in an air-conditioned space PLEASE

[txttletale]

what does it mean when people say stuff like individual morality or action is incompatible with class analysis or class struggle?

alright so like one of the key ideas about class analysis is the idea that classes (as a whole) have economic interests that affect all their members but don't extrapolate out to an individual analysis.

for example, let's say that you can't find a job, and somebody offers to pay you below the table for below minimum wage. it's in your individual interest to do this--it beats having no job! but as a member of the working class, once this practice becomes normalized, suddenly the standards of pay for everyone are lower because people know that they can just pay less than minimum wage under the table. competition between workers for jobs drives wages down for everyone, leaving them all in a worse situation overall even if each individual choice to scab, to accept lower pay, to resist unionization, etc, leaves the person who makes it better off. cf. karl marx on what happens when wages and working conditions deteriorate:

The labourer seeks to maintain the total of his wages for a given time by performing more labour, either by working a great number of hours, or by accomplishing more in the same number of hours. Thus, urged on by want, he himself multiplies the disastrous effects of division of labour. The result is: the more he works, the less wages he receives. And for this simple reason: the more he works, the more he competes against his fellow workmen, the more he compels them to compete against him, and to offer themselves on the same wretched conditions as he does; so that, in the last analysis, he competes against himself as a member of the working class.

— Karl Marx, Wage Labour & Capital

similarly, any individual member of the working class is completely dispensable and replaceable by capital. if one person refuses to work unless they're paid a higher wage, they'll be fired and replaced with somebody who doesn't. the individual worker has no economic leverage whatsoever. but the working class has incredible economic leverage! and so does the intermediate stage between the working class and the individual--organized segments of the working class (e.g. trade unions) have economic leverage. if one person strikes, the capitalist can fire them. if 40,000 people strike, your industry is going to shut down.

so the reason why class analysis is compatible with individual action is that your incentives measurably change when you start organizing--it's in the interests of the individual to compete, but in the interests of the class to cooperate. and obviously you cannot just expect everyone to spontaneously coordinate! you, the individual, are disposable to capital! if you, personally, refuse to take the under-the-table offer, either on moral grounds or because you recognize your class interest, your neighbour's going to take it--unless you and her get together and agree that neither of you will take it. that's the only way that the guy making the offer is going to have to give in and offer the job for a living wage.

and this is what organization is--trade unions (although they have severe limitations!), communist parties, and other worker's organizations allow the working class to pursue their collective interest--which can only be pursued by collective action, because engaging in the strategies of collective action as an individual, without the cooperation of your peers, is high risk for no reward.

[piosplayhouse]

It's kind of crazy how many accounts there are that are constantly like "you just think I support Israel because I'm Jewish and you're anti semitic!" and yes unfortunately sometimes that's the case. But also if your entire thing is pitching yourself as a radical anti-imperialist leftist and you reblog informational and donation links for every other world event happening but conspicuously only ever mention Palestine when you're making posts talking about anti-semitism you can see how that might look suspicious right.

[chamerionwrites]

People are going to call me ungrateful for this but on my personal list of petty pet peeves I absolutely despise being gifted tchotchkes. I’ve lived most of my adulthood in apartments with limited storage space and I hate waste. Please please please PLEASE just get me a gift card or a food item or nothing at all idc how impersonal or unoriginal it feels to you