#social media in general is Not good for me rn so ive been staying off my dash and stuff

[moonlightretriever]

again just saying im sorry ive been gone and silent work + my mom is in the hospital rn so ive had p much 0 energy all week ! :) ill come back soon don't worry <3

[meruz]

once again i am answering asks in a big compilation post. included is... gotham, patrick stump, tips about drawing backgrounds, tips about drawing in general, links to my faq, and infinity train

like.... the tv series? No... I’ve drawn dc comics fanart before, though. But it’s been years since I’ve been really into it. I like jumped ship like 10 years ago when the New 52 happened LOL.

AFJHDSLKGH I’m sorry I (probably) won’t do it again??

Actually full disclosure I have a truly cringe amount of p stump drawings/photo studies in my sketchbook right now LOL. He’s just fun to draw... hats, glasses, guitar, a good shape... but I don’t think I’ll rly post those until I can hide them in another big sketchbook pdf.. probably Jan 2022. Stay tuned........ (ominous) 

(ominous preview)

These are all sort of related to backgrounds/painting so I grouped them together even though they’re pretty much entirely separate questions.... ANYWAYS

a) How is it working as a BG artist? Is it hard? What show are you drawing for?

I think you’re the first person to ever ask me about my job! Being a background artist is great. It’s definitely labor intensive but I think that could describe pretty much any art job (If something were rote or easy to automate, you wouldn’t hire an artist to do it) and I hesitate to say whether its harder or easier than any other role in the animation pipeline. Plus, so much of what truly makes a job difficult varies from one production to the next, schedule, working environment, co-workers etc. But I will say that I think while BGs are generally a lot of work on the upfront, I think they’re subject to less scrutiny/revisions than something like character/props/effects design and you don’t have to pitch them to a room like boards. So I guess it’s good if you don’t like to talk to people? LOL

A lot of my previous projects + the show I’ve worked on the longest aren’t public yet so I can’t talk about em (but I assure you if/when the news does break I won’t shut up about it). But I’m currently working on Archer Season 12 LOL. I’m like 90% sure I’m allowed to say that.

b) ~~~THANK YOU!! ~~~

c) What exactly do you like to draw most [in a background]?

@kaitomiury​ Lots of stuff! I really like to draw clutter! Because it’s a great opportunity for environmental storytelling and also you can be kind of messy with it because the sheer mass will supersede any details LOL. 

I like to draw clouds... I like to draw grass but not trees lol,,, I like to draw anything that sells perspective really easily like tiled floors and ceilings, shelves, lamp posts on a street etc.

d) Do you have any tips on how to paint (observational)?

god there’s so much to say. painting is really a whole ass discipline like someone can paint their whole life and still discover new things about it. I guess if you’re really just starting out my best advice is that habit is more important than product. especially with traditional plein air painting, I find that the procedure of going outside and setting up your paints is almost harder than the actual painting. There’s a lot of artists who say “I want to do plein air sometime!!” and then never actually get around to doing it. A lot of people just end up working from google streetview or photos on their computer.

But going outside to paint is a really good challenge because it forces you to make and commit to lighting and composition decisions really quickly. And to work through your mistakes instead of against them via undo button.

My last tip is to check out James Gurney’s youtube channel because hes probably the best and most consistent resource on observational painting out there rn. There’s lots other artists doing the same thing (off the top of my head I know a lot of the Warrior Painters group has people regularly posting plein air stuff and lightbox expo had a Jesse Schmidt lecture abt it last year) but Gurney’s probably the most prolific poster and one of the best at explaining the more technical stuff - his books are great too.

e) Do you have tips for drawing cleanly on heavypaint?

@marigoldfool​ UMM LOL I LIKE ONLY USE THE FILL TOOL so maybe use the fill tool? Fill and rectangle are good for edge control as opposed to the rest of the heavy paint tools which can get sort of muddles. And also I use a stylus so maybe if you’re using your finger, find a stylus that works with your device instead. That’s all I’ve got, frankly I don’t think my drawings are particularly clean lol.

f) Tips on improving backgrounds/scenes making them more dynamic practicing etc?

Ive given some tips about backgrounds/scenes before so I’m not gonna re-tread those but here’s another thing that might be helpful...

I think a good way to approach backgrounds is to think of the specific story or even mood you want to convey with the background first. Thinking “I just need to put something behind this character” is going to lead you to drawing like... a green screen tourist photo backdrop. But if you think “I need this bg to make the characters feel small” or “I need this bg to make the world feel colorful” then it gives you requirements and cues to work off of.

If I know a character needs to feel overwhelmed and small, then I know I need to create environment elements that will cage them in and corner them. If a character needs to feel triumphant/on top of the world then I know I need to let the environment open up around them. etc. If I know my focal point/ where I want to draw attention, I can build the background around that.

Also, backgrounds like figure compositions will have focal points of their own and you can draw attention to it/ the relationship the characters have with the bg element via scale or directionality or color, any number of cues. I think of it almost as a second/third character in a scene.

Not every composition is gonna have something so obvious like this but it helps me to think about these because then the characters feel connected and integrated with the environment.

Some more general art questions

a) Do you have any process/tips to start drawing character/bodies/heads?

I tried to kind of draw something to answer this but honestly this is difficult for me to answer because I don’t think I’m that great at drawing characters LOL. Ok, I think I have two tips.

1) flip your canvas often. A lot about what makes human bodies look correct and believable is symmetry and balance. Even if someone has asymmetrical features, the body will often pull and push in a way to counterbalance it. we often have inherent biases to one side or another like dominant hands dominant eyes etc. you know how right-handed artists will often favor drawing characters facing 45 degrees facing (the artist’s) left? that’s part of it. so viewing your drawing flipped even just to evaluate it helps compensate for that bias and makes you more aware of balance.

2) draw the whole figure often. I feel like a lot of beginner artists (myself included for a long time) defer to just drawing headshots or busts because it’s easier, you dont have to think about posing limbs etc. But drawing a full body allows you to better gauge proportion, perspective, body language, everything that makes a character look believable and grounded.

Like if you (me) have that issue where you draw the head too big and then have to resize it to fit the proportions of the rest of the body, it’s probably because you (I) drew the head first and are treating the body as an afterthought/attachment. Sketching out the whole figure first or even just quick drawing guides for it will help you think of it more holistically. I learned this figure drawing in charcoal at art school LOL.

oh. third mini tip - try to draw people from life often! its the best study. if you can get into a figure drawing/nude drawing class EVEN BETTER and if you have a local college/art space/museum that hosts those for free TREASURE IT AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT, that’s a huge boon that a lot of artists (me again) wish they had. though if youre not so lucky and youre sitting in a park trying to creeper draw people and they keep moving.. don’t let that stop you! that’s good practice because it’s forcing you to work fast to get the important stuff down LOL. its a challenge!

b) I’ve been pretty out of energy and have had no inspiration to draw but I have the desire to. Any advice?

Dude, take a walk or something.... Or a nap? Low energy is going to effect everything else so you gotta hit that problem at its source.

If you’re looking for inspiration though, I’d recommend stuff like watching a movie, reading a book, playing video games etc. Fill up your idea bank with content and then give yourself time/space to gestate it into new concepts. Sometimes looking at other art works but sometimes it can work against you because it’s too close. 

Also something that helps me is remembering that art doesn’t always have to be groundbreaking... like it’s okay to make something shitty and stupid that you don’t post online and only show to your friend. That’s all part of the process imo. If you want to hit a home run you gotta warm up first, right? Sports.

I should probably compile everytime i give tips on stuff like this but that’s getting dangerously close to being a social media artist who makes stupid boiled down art tutorials for clout which is the last thing i want to be... the thing I want to stress is that art is a whole visual language and there are widely agreed upon rules and customs but they exist in large part to be broken. Like there's an infinite number of ways to reach an infinite number of solutions and that’s actually what makes it really cool and personal for both the artist and the viewer. So when you make work you like or you find someone else’s work you like, take a step back and ask yourself what about it speaks for you, what about it works for you, what makes it effective, how to recreate that effect and how to break that effect completely, etc. And have a good time with it or else what’s the point.

for the first 2, I direct you to my FAQ

For the last one, I don’t actually believe I’ve ever addressed artwork as insp for stories/rp but I’ll say here and now yeah go ahead! As long as you’re not making profit or taking credit for my work then I’m normally ok with it. Especially anything thats private and purely recreational, that’s generally 100% green light go. I only ask that if you post it anywhere public that you please credit me.

(and I reserve the right to ask you to take it down if I see it and don’t approve of it’s use but I think that case is pretty rare.)

a) @lemuelzero101 Thank you!!! I haven’t played Life is Strange but actually  that series’ vis dev artist Edouard Caplain is one of my bigger art inspirations lately so that’s a really high compliment lol. And yeah I hope we get 5-8 too...!

b) Thank you for sticking around! I’ve been thinking about Digimon and Infinity Train in tandem lately, actually. They’re a little similar? Enter a dangerous alternate world and have wacky adventures with monsters/inanimate objects that have weird powers... there’s like weird engineers and mechanisms behind the scenes... also frontier literally starts with them getting on a train. Anyways if anyone else followed me for digimon... maybe you’d like Infinity Train? LOL

c) @king-wens-king I’M GLAD MY ART JUST HAS PINOY VIBES LOL I hope you are having a good day too :^)

a, b, c, d) yessss my Watch Infinity Train agenda is working....

e) aw thank you!! i think you should watch infinity train :)

[osdd-1bitch]

// partly a vent? but also if you have any type of advice as to what i can do pls say,, gotta be honest im still INSANELY fucked on if im a system or not :( for a while i was dead set on it but i ended up just not saying anything to my therapist and fell back into that "ok no thats not me, im just a really vivid daydreamer" mindset.

then your blog auto-popped up as i was typing and i clicked it and im back to that "maybe" thing. im just so conflicted rn ughhh goddamnit :( ive been having an extremely stressful past few weeks (no specifics but alot of my trauma resurfaced, alot of shit triggered me, similar traumatic situations etc) and i missed both of my therapy sessions the past 2 weeks, so ive kinda reverted back to being dependant on alters who im not even sure are alters or not. and even THEN im not sure how to bring up to my therapist that i think i may have OSDD or DID?? like idk how im gonna come back after 2 weeks and say "hey btw all this traumatic shit came back up and i think i might be a system bc i talk to people in my head who arent me lol but anyways can i use ur fidget cube?" ??? SO much has happened and im really debating on just pushing down that it might be osdd/did and pretending nothing is wrong for the sake of keeping myself mentally stable yk ?? gotta say i just dont know what to do at all. lets also not forget im 13 and shouldnt even have to deal w this much stress EVER but dfghgtf. im just really struggling to tell if this is my maladaptive daydreaming or DID man :(

MaDD and plurality are weird to work w, especially since MaDD can and often is be caused by trauma and there are some expressions of MaDD that one could put on the plural spectrum. Its mucky either way and can suck to deal with

before i continue, id like to say our experience on therapy has...not been great so ill refrain from giving therapy specific advice for fear of our past experiences clouding our judgement, but you can share the trauma bits and get some help without talking about plurality. the rings system did some videos that might help about talking to a therapist,red flags ect, lovely folks, you should give em a watch if you havent. either way id say you prolly shouldnt bring this up yet, but info is also good in general

and also, some personal advice, be very very careful on the internet, especially social medias at your age. we were in your shoes once and it did fck us up quite a bit

either way, i seriously doubt youll be taken seriously, not in a bad way, full grown adults struggle to get help. and stressing about specifics can just lead to, you guessed it! more stress. its totally fine to drop all lables and just exist for a while and try and do whatever, talking w sysmates or daydreaming whatever, you dont have to name these experiences for now, just live them. doubt is weird, and youll almost def be wout dxing for a few years either way.

just live your life, try not to bring up trauma wout professionals, and be very safe on the internet, and preferably get off tumblr and move somewhere safer, its really not a place for people your age. i know you probably wont listen to that bit much, but at least be extra super safe.

self dxing can take years btw. its not really a matter of weeks, lived experience and analyzing yourself and just questioning takes a lot of time. take it slow

and its totally fine if its not did. or madd. or either. dont stress, dont try and conform yourself to dxes and stuff rn, especially since you are both v young and just started questioning. im not saying your age means you shouldnt, if you have did you have it rn, but things can take time to come to light. just b honest w yourself and open to the options, mkay? self dxing is a lot of research on top of the work. if you started questiong round now tbh many systems if they questions at your age would get a dx or self dx at like 15,16,17 ect ect, and thats if they question. do what helps you and talk to your therapist, you dont have to mention did but talk about questioning disorders and junk.

this sorta age is when figuring yourself out rlly starts to happen yknow? that doesnt mean you should be cornered off n stuff, n kept away from dxes, but it also means you should be very careful n research a ton. if you find smth you resonate w it, keeping it in the maybe pile for a year or two can seem like its a long time, but will help a ton in the end, if its true or not. if its stressing you out a ton, its okay to not think about it for a bit, you have time.

and again, please please please try and get off social medias they can mess w your head a lot, and try not to share your age online again. im torn abt publishing this n may delete this ask n repost the response, but im not sure

tldr:

i dont wanna tell you to not question or identify symptoms, but things change a lot n you are just dipping your toes into life. take things slow and sit on them, thats the best advice given to us at your age. you could be absolutely right, you could be confused, you could be dead wrong, and all of these are okay. just keep yourself open, research and rlly think abt it (like months of thinking abt it) before it can age properly in the maybe bin. and also be safe online, dont share your age and stuff n keep off toxic n inapropriate sites like this best you can. options are open and symptoms can change over time. just exist and take note of things. dont stress over lables, n self dx should stay in the possibly-maybe bin for now, itll be worth the wait

[jewpacabruhs]

bruv im still jus. wow. theres so much to say but. do u kno how good it feels... to be jewish, to accidentally fixate on one eric cartman & love him more than any other fictional character for almost seven years now, and then to see him in a little yarmulke, standing at kyle's side while he recites from the torah? do you know how validating that is?

i gotta get personal for a second here. idk how, but in the last few yrs my relationship with my own jewishness has been deeply influenced and intertwined with south park, as ironic and ridiculous as that sounds. i grew up secular, completely nonpracticing; as a child, i was only ethnically jewish, and saw jews as strictly an ethnicity, and a popularly hated one to boot. and it scared me. ive talked about it before, but as a child hearing about the shoah and about antisemitism, i couldn't understand. i thought it was looks for a while, which confused me, because ive got blonde hair and blue eyes and all my family that got caught up in nazi europe did/do too. i remember thinking as a second grader that i would've been spared for that reason; why didn't a good chunk of my family? but i grew up in a mormon neighborhood, with plenty of other blonde kids, and they stayed away from me like i had a disease. this was before puberty, before my hair got a little frizzier and my nose got a little bigger, when i looked just like any of them. but already, at age 8, i was an outsider. i wasn't one of them and i never would be, and they wanted me to know that.

and then i started to get it. it clicked even more once i got to high school and got called a kike every other day - but prior to high school, you know what i found, and you know what really pushed me towards understanding what being a secular jew in america meant? south park. and as a dumb little sixth grader with no critical thinking skills, you know what shaped my opinions on my own people? south park.

and that's good and bad. good because i do sincerely think kyle broflovski is excellent fictional representation for jewish people, maybe one of the top few ever shown on television. he gets on my nerves at times, but he's good through and through, he's well written and multi-dimensional, he's not a walking stereotype but he still has prominent jewish features that jewish viewers can look at and see in themselves, his morals and viewpoints and beliefs are obviously deeply influenced by judaism, hes deeply proud of his heritage and culture... and that all means a lot to me. and by the amount of jewish sp fans that adore kyle, it means a lot to them too.

the bad thing is, yeah, i can't deny it, during older seasons, cartman's treatment of kyle probably taught a lot of young and dumb viewers how to view jews in real life. have i, as a kyman shipper and cartman stan, justified that within a fictional and narrative context? yes. but it doesn't change the real-world effect; south park, but specifically cartman, since he's the mouthpiece, likely did cause some easily-influenced people to pick up antisemitic beliefs. did this contribute to the rise of the alt-right? debatable, but to some extent, possibly. was that m&t's intention and should south park be canceled and denounced? fuck no, i'll always love it lol, and fuck censorship. but it is something that should be taken into account.

matt and trey clearly regret that, and understand that it's no longer acceptable or fitting or needed in today's sociopolitical climate - or, okay, maybe they don't even regret it; they just understand that when fiction becomes reality, the fictional jackass isn't necessary when there's one right there in real life, sitting in the oval office, yeah? old cartman doesn't deserve or need a voice, not when real, awful people actually have one right now. and m&t are actively trying to change cartman for the better and really, really backpedal on his bigotry, while still doing it in a way that makes sense from a story-telling perspective. it's not a complete uncharacteristic change of character; it's shifting with the times and writing it into the character's arc so that it's a logical and plausible development in cartman's story.

cartman's behavior in the last few seasons is consistent character development. m&t themselves are pushing it, and clearly it's sincere; cartman's not faking. unless they're building up a surprise twist over the last, what, three to four seasons, that he was faking the whole time! woah! if so it better be a damn good pay off, because that's a lot of time invested. though that seems more forward-thinking than sp tends to be. they're intentionally stuck in the short-term, aren't they? plot-wise. but their character development is pretty long-term, and right now, cartman is consistently decent, and if it comes across as faking, it's because cartman's over-dramatic in how he speaks, and trey does that intentionally.

that's a tonal thing, and it's hard to say in a fictional character, but as someone who struggles with empathy myself, empathy and sincerity don't go hand in hand. you can lack empathy while still caring enough to sincerely and wholeheartedly apologize for something and mean that apology. not feeling remorse doesn't mean you can't apologize genuinely; the two don't go hand in hand. you can be mentally ill in any capacity, even a psychopath, and still deeply care about things or people, just not in the way someone else might. so you can headcanon that cartman's still a psycho/sociopath, though right now that's actually kinda going against canon, but don't rain on other's parades if they're happy he's exhibiting healthy growth. besides, and i repeat: what could cartman exploit out of faking sincerity for several seasons? nothing, so why bother? he wouldn't, unless it's literal in-show subconscious growth.

does that mean he's magically developed empathy? no. is it becoming less probable he's a legitimate sociopath/psychopath (while still possibly having better-disguised antisocial tendencies)? yes. does he seem to have better coping or anger management skills? somehow, yes! he seems to be legitimately healthier. does this mean he's no longer accountable for his past misdeeds, and even his present, less-severe ones? of course not! and you can still hate him all you want, but modern cartman is not the same as older cartman, and shouldn't be treated as such. because is this growth? absolutely.

he's clearly healthier, even happier. he's less angry, he's still a little shit but he no longer relies on bigotry or cruelty or anger to get the negative attention he thrives off, rather he gravitates towards being simply annoying. you know why he called ice? pettiness, immaturity, a little bit of spite, and a need for silly revenge. he's being intentionally petty, but going about it in a sly but no longer psychopathic way. less hannibal lector and more, idk, regina george, lol. extremely different on the antagonist scale. and cartman's been both.

and maybe it's personal bias on what type of human is worse within fiction, someone unstable and bizarre with violent tendencies (which is how he's come to be viewed in pop culture & some of the fandom, as a result of eps like scott tenorman must die), versus someone inclined towards pettiness and more silent and, i dunno, social-status-and-pride-driven types of revenge (cartman in general when he's not being particularly awful, tbh)... but i think it'd be pretty universally agreed that the latter is at the very least more tolerable, manageable, and even likeable - and certainly more redeemable. let's put it this way; if cartman continued on the path he was on, he'd be one of those tiki holding fucks, wearing a confederate flag hat, and he'd treat kyle soooo much worse. instead, m&t have turned him into a hypocritical false-woke ignorant dumbass - but that's strongly less problematique than it's counterpart, and it works.

because cartman simply serves a different narrative purpose now. and that's not sloppy writing; it's well-timed evolution of a character that stepped into a pre-9/11, pre-trump, pre-social media world! so much has changed, and south park is reflecting that in its characters, most notably in a character who was stuck in the, what, 1960s with his beliefs? that was fine way back when, but matt&trey are smart dudes - they understand that sometimes things have to change. besides, they love cartman, too. he's their favorite. but they understand that when real people act like him, it's not so comedic or satirical or funny, & they don't want to look at cartman, at their creation who they've invested twenty-two years in, and see the all-too-real hate of modern radical white america.

i think we know enough about matt&trey's social stances these days, and the empathy they've seemed to develop after having kids, to understand that they're no longer in their "apathy is best, everyone is stupid" phase. current south park is left-leaning and admittedly preachy at times, but i wouldn't want it any other way. g-d knows it's better this way than if they'd embraced and decided to appeal to their right-libertarian following instead. cartman's evolved in a progressive and positive way, and it's fucking dope, especially to us cartman stans who so badly want him to be good. and he is good right! he's doing so good!

and i know im up my own ass rn but yall know how much i myself have campaigned for jewish kyman/cartman and how much i just deeply and truly adore it, and to see it actualized in a canon episode to some extent? that meant the world to me. i couldn't believe my eyes. i was tellin lai - that's the most genuine, pure, almost violent happiness ive felt in my soul in years. that was like a straight shot of serotonin to the heart. that simple little scene made me so fucken happy yall dont even know. & theres a lot to be said about the political commentary and plenty of other people are analyzing that, but im a simple jewish kyman & cartman stan and boy ive been fed good fjskfkdkdkfk!!!

[hawkland]

Rules: Supposedly to tag 25 people but I’m just gonna say, do it if you want to. I “stole” this from @thedoctorishereguys

LAST:

LAST THING I BOUGHT:. Ice at the deli up by my mom’s. LAST STORE I VISITED: That deli. LAST TEXT MESSAGE: “Made it” to Mr. Hawkland, to let him know I got to my mom’s safe & sound. LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO: “Summer’s Coming” by Gizmodrome. LAST THING I ATE: Sushi from the place I always stop at on the way to my mother’s house.

HAVE YOU EVER: DATED SOMEONE TWICE: As in dated, broke up, dated again? Mmm...sort of. Once. And it was a bad idea. BEEN CHEATED ON:  Yes. By the person who I dated twice. Part of that bad idea thing. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: Yes. When it was a situation where I felt pressured to do so (literally, trapped in a corner in a restaurant) and this person ended up stalking/harassing me for a while afterward. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Yes. Let’s leave it at that. BEEN DEPRESSED: Clinically? No. Probably otherwise. Though I tend more towards high anxiety than depression. BEEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: I’ve been so drunk I WISHED I’d thrown up, but it didn’t happen.

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU: MADE A NEW FRIEND: Yes. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE:  No. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: Yes. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: I’m...not sure on that one. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR TRUE FRIENDS WERE: Hmm. Sort of? I stopped using Facebook for the most part back in February, which overall has been great for my mental health but it has cut me off from a lot of people I’d considered “friends”, so few of them have made an effort to reach out or stay in touch through other methods. I get that it’s so convenient, blah blah blah, but...it can be isolating and sort of disappointing how few have private messaged or been/stayed in touch through the social media accounts I AM still using. Then again, maybe I haven’t taken so much initiative myself. Which could also speak about that whole level of friendship thing. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: Hahahahaha yep but we’ll leave it at that. Oh, Tumblr.

GENERAL: HOW MANY PEOPLE ON TUMBLR DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?: Hmm...apologies if I forget anyone but @coldlikedeath, @kimannebb, @kronette, @flamingoslim, @debwalsh, @nicholasrowan, @apexonhigh, @theorajones, @thewayfindsyou, @trickunicorn ...? A lot of people I’ve met through fandom/conventions through the years, or otherwise. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: Yes, 7 cats. Shut up. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME?: No. I’m quite happy with it, thanks. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?: 7-ish. WHAT WERE YOU DOING LAST NIGHT?: Writing fic, exercising and punting around online. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: Going back to Venice next year for the Tintoretto 500 year celebration. HAVE YOU EVER MET SOMEONE NAMED TOM?: Yes, quite a few people that I can think of easily. WHAT’S GETTING ON YOUR NERVES RN?: The shitty wifi at my mother’s house. BLOOD TYPE: I’m afraid I don’t even know. And I’m 45. How sad is that? NICKNAME: A lot of people in fandom know me as “sockii”, which is a long story. I don’t really have any other nicknames besides my writing pseud. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Partnered/living with someone for 7 years now (we’ve actually been together for more like 12 years). ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus/Rat, depending on which zodiac you mean. PRONOUNS: She/Her FAVORITE TV SHOW: I’d probably have to say Homicide: Life on the Street. Because it was just...so amazing. The writing, the cast, the acting, the fucking relevance of so much of it still today. I don’t think I’ve ever been more intensely wrapped up in a show (and sometimes shocked so much I literally screamed at the tv) than with HLOTS. It has pretty much everything I could want — an interesting and diverse cast, strong female characters who are each different and unique, humor and drama that can make you cry...I could just go on about this show for ages. And it makes me crazy that it’s not on any streaming service today, because it’s so hard to convince other people to give it a try when the dvd set is so pricey. :( COLLEGE: Yes, I did. Graduated from M.I.T. in 1994. HAIR COLOR: I call it pumpkin spice color, at least when the dye-job is fresh. LONG OR SHORT: Mid-length. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEBODY: Always!

FIRSTS: FIRST SURGERY:  First and only so far: getting my right ovary removed in 2008. FIRST PIERCING:  Ears, back in freshman year of college. Still only piercing (though I’ve needed to get one side redone recently). FIRST BEST FRIEND: There was a brother and sister who lived across the street from me when I was like 5-6 and I used to go over and play Star Wars and other games/roleplay with them every day after school. Until they moved and I never heard from them again. FIRST SPORT YOU JOINED: None. I was never a sports kind of person. FIRST VACATION: That was more than just a weekend trip somewhere? Going to St. Kitts with my mom in 1983. FIRST PAIR OF SNEAKERS: Who the fuck knows. EATING: Seriously? Who remembers that. DRINKING: Uh...what?  I’M ABOUT TO: Work on this exchange fic I’ve been procrastinating over for like a month. LISTENING TO: Just the street noise outside while I write. WANT KIDS: Heh. Complicated. It ain’t fucking happening so let’s leave it at that. GET MARRIED: Probably, someday, though I don’t really have any need for a big fancy wedding and all of that shit. If Mr. Hawkland and I ever do make it official it will probably just be for legal reasons. As it is we’re too nervous to mess up a good thing.

WHICH IS BETTER: LIPS OR EYES: Eyes definitely attract me first, and more. HUGS OR KISSES: Hugs are great, because they can be with friends, family, lovers...all equally cool. SHORTER OR TALLER: Neither is better, either is fine. OLDER OR YOUNGER:  Personally I always like older. In case that wasn’t fucking obvious. ROMANTIC OR SPONTANEOUS?: Romantic. I’m not really one for surprises. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: Sensitive.

HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: Relationship

TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: Troublemaker, because I’m always the hesitant one.

HAVE YOU EVER: KISSED A STRANGER: No DRANK HARD LIQUOR: Yes LOST GLASSES/CONTACTS: No SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: Let’s...just say the one time I did it was basically date rape so no fucking thank you ever again to that. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: Probably? BEEN ARRESTED: No. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: Yes. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE: IN YOURSELF: I try to but it’s not always easy. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Nah. Infatuation? Sure. But love is a lot more complicated than that. HEAVEN: Hmmm. I’d say I believe in something beyond this world and life. And Ive actually had a few experiences with loved ones who died which have made my belief in that “something” stronger. But what form it takes? I really can’t say. Like my (current) favorite song lyric goes, “I know too much to be sure about anything.” SANTA CLAUS: Not since I was 7 or 8.

[lega18]

I'm just gonna ramble my thoughts here bc idk where else to rn (twitter becomes a thread and i feel like thats annoying) who knows i might even delete this but. for now I'm feeling?? a lot/? rn like doubt in myself idk. Ironic bc this past month has been the most creative/most ive drawn in awhile thanks to good ol todorok. mp100 gave me a lot of inspiration too but its even better when i obsess over one character and draw them so much i get to know them..anyways thats not the point. i guess its life in general and where I'm going and if art is a part of it, which i always thought it would be. but lately i feel otherwise, like my time passed or smth. its stupid bc I'm a big believer in its never too late but also?? is drawing a hobby?? is it what i love most?(id say yes but then i keep going back to the constant questioning it brings me but i guess thats normal ) BASICALLY Im feeling a lot of insecurity (and deep down i know itll pass like usual) (because as soon as i get that good feeling when i start drawing smth i love, ill wonder why the fuc i ever questioned if drawing was Important to me) but. i really gotta stop thinking so deep into it. somehow. And theres many other things I've been thinking abt, like peoples perception of me online and the negativity and that i want to start avoiding it but its hard when your on social media, so theres the fine balance between that. But then i meet/have met so many amazing people to weigh it out, so. i cant leave just yet. i also make a lot of empty promises in regards to art and I'm glad some ppl have stuck around. 

and then theres the comparing myself with others and my desperate need TO STOP THAT. funny how u always want more, right lol. its never enough, guys, u gotta draw for yourself bc at the end of the day thats all u got. I'm thankful to all the people I've met and ‘inspired’ (SOMEHOW???SOMEWAY??) i appreciate every single comment i get on my art and every ask even if i don't always reply etc..

(THIS REALLY IS ALL SO FUNNY TO ME BC just this past month or 2 i REALLY REALLY was feeling like ‘this is it, this is my style, I'm really sinking into it and not wanting to be my art idols’ but maybe this is just the verge of another break thru in ‘style’ lol )

ANYWAYS I'm not gonna go back and reread this so lets hope theres nothing too embarrassing.. I really have to just start doing what I want. IM HERE FOR ME, RIGHT?????

i really REALLY want to get to know ppl in the bnha fandom and i want to stay here for a minute so. hopefully my todorok dumps (as well as a few other things) over the next week bring in some new ppl. Not that I'm leaving mob for good. (S2 WHEN??) BUT YEAH idk guys. ok I'm feeling a lot better now getting that all out. IM OFF TO DRAW MORE!! gonna try livestreaming again at some point?? i finally was able to get it working ;;0;; (BUT IM OVERWHELMED THINKING MORE THAN ONE PERSON WILL SHOW, THE PRESSURE???) lol ok this is literally too long, I LOVE TODOROKI AND BAKUGOU AND TODOBAKU AND I'm ending this. but ill be back 

[chasingchills]

You know what’s just fucking AWESOME?!

So i had this dude message me way back when out of nowhere on fb. We had a few mutual friends but we didn’t know each other. When I say way back I’m talking December 29. So like 4 months ago now? He messaged me consistently. Asked me to hangout many of times. I made plans with him but tbh I bailed cause I wasn’t totally sure. He tried to call me multiple times. And at the time I was like wtf cause we’d never even met? Persistent much liek shit. Should’ve been a red flag when he called me a stupid bitch when an argument ensued about me ditching him. But alas I gave him a second chance. Thought just maybe it was an accident and it would be a cute story later on. I mean why else was this guy pursuing me this hard unless he wanted something more ya know? Most guys don’t try this hard just to get laid... ANYWAYS fast forward and we’ve been hanging out for yeah the last like 4 months almost. I’ve met his whole fam. His parents his brothers and their gfs. Everytime I’ve gone over ive stayed over. I’ve met his bestfriends. I’ve been around for his birthday where I made him a card and a gift. He’d buy skip the dishes and I’d bring weed. We’d toke and eat and have sex and hangout. I thought we were progressing. About half way into this so a couple months ago he told me he was unsure about what he wanted, jitters kind of thing I figured. Most guys are worried a girls more invested or just worried in general. He’d told me that his ex had did a number on him and I wanted to be compassionate. But here we are, months later and he’s still saying the same thing. So LOGICALLY since I want more than he does and clearly I AM more invested I’ve done the intelligent thing to separate myself and move on. This pandemic came at a good time cause we haven’t been able to hangout. I deleted his number so I don’t text him. I deleted him off social media. And I’ve been pursuing other guys.

SO I’ve gotten one couple text convo out of him in the last 2 weeks. I figured things were trickling off. So this mf calls me rn and I’m being dry as hell talking to him and he’s all “I’m boreddd I wish you would come over” and I got pissed. Was like haha yeahhh you’re bored that sounds about right. And he’s like I didn’t mean it like that. So I Read it to him about how I haven’t been talking to him because I’m trying to move on and not be convenient. I’m like yeah you’re bored? So you want the part time gf you used to have? You want my company and to fuck and to basically have your cake and eat it too at the expense of my feelings? Nah that’s ok. And he just keeps telling me I’m overreacting and I’m making a big deal out of this and idk why we just can’t go back to normal. And I’m like BECAUSE NORMAL BENEFITS YOU DUDE WHAT DONT YOU FUCKING GET I want a relationship and you don’t but you want me to what? Be your buddy?? Yeah somewhere between the first and 10th sleepover and sexcapade we stopped being just buddies. You’re not ready for more? That’s fine. I’m not gunna sit here and be whatever you need me to be. I’m done. And he’s like fine I’m done being bitched at. So I sent him a final text saying how I wasn’t going to bother explaining my feelings anymore but that he should stop talking to me for both our sakes so he stops wasting both our time. And then I said he wouldn’t hear from me or be able to contact me any longer and I said goodbye.

His fucking response? “I think you’re over reacting” like tell me WHY THE FUCK I wasted months of my time on somebody who genuinely wants me to just BE there for his entertainment at the expense of my feelings. What a selfish selfish little man honestly. I’m so happy to be moving on. Anyways the whole point of this is I really want to know like am I overreacting? Cause I feel like he led me on for so fuckkng long like MONTHS HERE and he’s still trying to say because he always said he was unsure that it’s my fault I let myself think more about everything. Like what the FUCK guys