#sob.... im scared for my test this friday.. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

akaakeis · 2 months ago

Note

sav the terriblest thing has happened......... i joined english coaching.............

okay its not that bad the guy was my ninth grade english teacher and hes kind of a w

i also found out my current english teacher is mentally ill and not one of her students got 90+ in english like..

#notmepls

ANYWAYS

this Means that i shall be offline when ur usually first online during the day on sundays tuesdays and thursdays throws up

ive alr been so busy and i was like omg #textingsav and then i realised we probably wont talk today and also the only time we'll talk is

wait omg no school tmr we WILL talk tmr which will be ur today

the way im just. rambling in ur inbox but its ok bc ur u and im me #neverdoingthisanywhereelse

next thing . wait i forgot im remembering

oKAY remembered 👍 ERM i got like a. 68 on my english test and apparently this mentally ill woman marked it wrong and i shouldve gotten an erm. wait calculating. at least an 88 LIKE GIRL WHAT THE FREAKKKKKKKKK

in other news erm why i cried in the last four days list .

i love my sister

i love my friends

english grade

teacher yelled at me

there was no garlic bread at home

i got disconnected from dti

i didnt want to get up and change

the electricity cut off five times and i couldnt play genshin properly

tumblr wasnt loading

86 eighty-six

hashtag periods i love periods

in other news i also love maths like i WAS a maths girl i AM a maths girlie i will always BE a maths girlie it is THE subject of all time and if anyone disagrees then they're wrong (unless it's u because what can i say. i always agree with cute girls🤷‍♀️)

also like i said id tell you about the smau but literally erm. i forgot.. what was supposed to happen.. i have two lines ill dm them to u or something 😭😭😭😭 WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING ELSE AND THEN I FORGOT IT IM GOING TO SOB.

OH YES spilling school tea

our chem teacher used to tutor this one girl and he flirted with her mom at 1am on wahtsapp and facebook and then his wife divorced him😭😭

this one girl's picture got taken. like a norm picture. and then her bf and some people fought over it. like physically. at coaching. LOL INSANE

english physics and chemistry departments of our school are failing everyone is underpaid and leaving

my english teacher is senile but we mentioned that already i think

ANYWAYSSSS UNINTENTIONAL YAP ASK I LITERALLY JUST CAME HERE TO SAY IM MORE BUSY THAN BEFORE LMFAO. look where we are. oh omg im so #scared #excited #terrified for us w/o u part 2 thats flipping SCARY IM SCARED anyways how are u? feel free to yap in the answers if u do answer it and uhhh take care stay safe love u mwa mwa dm me whenever

LINA MY LOVE!! this is gonna be long i fear. oh dear.... ok so english coaching is not fun good luck with that 😕

well at least the guy is cool ‼️

im sorry but lowkey... #wbk about that one i fear!! I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE WAS A LITTLE MENTALLY ILL? IS THAT JUST ME OR

anyway if u dont get 90+ in english send her my way I WILL FIGHT FOR YOUR GRADE SO HARD you deserve a good grade!!! i can tell you've been putting in the effort + im proud of u!!1!!1!1

NOOOOOO WE WONT BE ABLE TO TALK AS MUCH 🙁 lwt me think so today is thursday and youll be on on mondays wednesdays fridays + saturdays as normal presumably? THATS OKAY i usually wake up latw on thursdays because i sleep late and its a whole mess... i was nearly late this morning harhar ANYWAY POINT BEING WE WILL STILL BE ABLE TO TALK TO WE'LL BE GOOD

girl me too <//3 was so locked in on tuesday you should've seen me writing my article for the magazine + writing out the rest of my speech and finalizing ITS SO BUSY RN ICB IT

these timezones are confusinf me hello i am so lost as i read this! 12 hrs apart w you ahead is all ik regarding this

ANYWAY WE WILL FIND TIME AND WE WILL MAKE IT WORK ITLL JUST TAKE A MINUTE FOR ME TO FIGURE IT OUT

its okay i live laugh love for ur asks actually im sitting in my room smiling as i type out this reply to ur ask... inbox yap hour MY FAV

A 68 IS ACTUALLY INSANE GOODBYE how did she screw up the grade so bad 😭 she can catch these fists for that one LIKE HOW DO U GET IT 20% OFF THIS IS NOT A CLEARANCE SALE MISS!!

HELP all of these reasons are equally valid 😞 periods really get me fucked up fr i think im about to get mine too smh

that is SO valid lina math is honestly a good subject 🙂‍↕️ not my fav but i honestly enjoy the class cause it's 1) simple for me 2) my tablemates are so odd to the point of being hilarious and 3) my teacher is gay and we found his grindr profile so i always giggle when i think about that HAHDBDN so math class is just heaps of fun

NOOOO I WAS SO EXCITED TO HESR ABT THE SMAU U NEED TO SEND ME THE TWO LINES U HAVE SOON!!1!!1!1 STOP I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS BUT IT HAPPENS TO ME SO OFTEN ITS AWFUL

ok THE CHEM TEACHER??? wow okay so thats crazy! HIS WIFE DIVORCING HIM TOO PLEASE SO DESERVED everyone point and laugh!!! L man!!!!

HELP WHY WERE THEY EVEN FIGHTING IF IT WAS JUST A NORMAL PICTURE THATS SO WILD?? 😭 like guys its not that deep </3

WHAT. so like is this hyperbole or is literally everyone going to leave bc of being underpaid and whatnot CAUSE THATS SO BAD

senility✊😞 what a trooper/j

ITS OKAY I ENJOYED READING ALL OF THAT!!! PLEASE PRIORITIZE ALL YOUR STUDIES THEYRE THE MOST IMPORTANT <3 I HOPE YOU DONT BURN OUT FROM BEING MORE BUSY THAN BEFORE BC I KNOW I DEFINITELY DID WHEN I HAD VOLLEYBALL.. SO TAKE THINGS EASY AND DONT STRESS YOURSELF TOO MUCH PLEASE!!! ILY ILY ILY!! oh okay so us without me pt 2 is probably gonna be BAD BAD cause it will b talking about how he was actually in love w eden since BEFORE he had moved and all that so itll be extra angst talking about before he had moved 😸 basically timeskips briefly showing how he gives you less and less affection as the time he leaves draws near AHAHAH ITS GONNA BE BAD

+ im alright!!! no homework for once in a blue moon so im sitting here relaxing i feel so good rn <3 i have an iced matcha latte and a cake pop I AM LIVE LAUGH LOVING

so i dont have much to yap about at this moment but i just got back from school SOOOO ill yap about that!!

starting off strong i woke up an hour + 15 mins late and had 20 minutes to get ready and eat... i was almost late this morning BUT i have fitness first thing in the morning on my a-days (we work on an a/b schedule!!) and my teacher always comes late to that!! so i had time to dress down and i BOOKED IT to the weight room + made it!! in that class we basically just do weightlifting + my usual partner wasnt there bc she had a golf tournament... so i was with some of my other friends for lifting!! was kinda thriving bc my other partner usually does heavier weights + they did lighter ones SO I WAS REALLY REALLY FAST W MY SETS i was very proud!!

then i went into second period (i have bio) and we were doing a lab where we examined some cells in onions, tomatoes, + the inside of our cheeks (ew) but basically we had to group up and im not rly fond of one of the girls that r in my group cause she doesn't talk much she just squeezes in to look through the microscope so it annoys me 😞 ANYWAY THE LAB WAS LIGHT WORK GOT IT DONE IN 30 MINS and then i had like an hour of free time after that so i asked for a hall pass and i roamed the halls for a bit 😸 after that i have to go to advisory + i was just helping people w math hw and doing some of the nyt games to kill my boredom (oh and drivers ed stuff!!)

at lunch i was just sitting with some of my friends and playing imessage games with them 😭 then we went into the gym and played volleyball for a bit!!

after lunch i had geo and i was taking notes like a madman i fear... dk if ive said this before but like ohhh man everyone makes a point of telling me how small my hand writing is its so annoying 😭 i heard that three times during class today and i was literally done LIKE STOP LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE ‼️

theeeen i had my speech + debate CLASS not to be confused with my club!! i already finished my oratory so i just played games the entire period 😻 lots of fun would recommend!!! i just hate the teacher cause he's always telling me to go back to my seat WHEN IM HELPING HIS STUDENTS CATCH UP ON WORK like ok! sorry for trying to help you fix the mistakes you made when teaching them how to make their speeches! goodness! my bad! anyway hes my opp 😒

AND THATS MY DAY!! anyway take care stay safe i love you!!! MWAHH <3

#asks!!#alina ily alina #my platonic literally written in the stars honeypie loml sugarplum!!

6 notes · View notes

blxetsi · 4 years ago

Note

I was curious if you’d be up for headcanon of adopting Gabi Braun, or what it’s like being her older sibling?

If not maybe just Pieck relationship headcanons

Please and thank you

im so sorry im getting to this so late 😭🤚 ty for requesting ‼️

‼️CONTENT WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 AND CHAPTER 139‼️

adopting gabi braun headcanons (canonverse)

characters: gf!sasha braus x gn!reader, platonic!gabi braun x gn!reader, fatherly!levi ackerman x gn!reader, platonic!falco grice x gn!reader

warnings: death, angst, hatred for kids (fuck them kids‼️), peepaw levi 😁👍

- uhhhhhh,, your relationship w gabi had a very rocky start. Lol !

- it all started when your friend eren jaeger decided to run away to infiltrate marley causing the survey corps to go get him just as a war was declared between your countries, and then two kids snuck onto the airship you were using to escape and shot your girlfriend. and she died. Lol !

- you had a lot of hatred for gabi in the beginning, and it was understandable

- you blamed her for shooting sasha, but you also blamed yourself for not being able to save her.

- you were a trained medic, you were supposed to save people, and yet you couldnt even save the woman you loved. it was like a slap in the face, like god was playing some cruel joke on you

- you remember sitting against the wall with sasha's blood staining your hands. you could barely process what happened at the time, and then levi came

- he sat next to you, taking a handkerchief out of nowhere seemingly, and just wordlessly wiped your hands down.

- your relationship with the older man was never defined, even today, but you both cared for each other

- the next time you saw gabi, was in that restaurant, niccolo had attacked gabi and falco, injuring them both, and said she killed sasha

- your blood went cold, you felt so many things, the grief you had pushed down in favour of your job, anger, fear, among other things

- niccolo had said there needed to be justice, he said that gabi should die for what she did, he tried to get sasha's father to kill her, and all you did was stand there.

- your body went on autopilot, barely listening to mr. braus' speech, you watched as kaya pointed a knife at gabi, and you listened to her wails of agony as you blindly led mikasa, armin, and gabi to a different room

- you were scared of yourself, for what you were thinking. did you really want a kid to die ? she did kill your girlfriend, the woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, the woman that shared her food with you, the woman that held you when you got scared at night, the woman that promised you that after the war you two would live on a farm together, and have a family of your own.

- but she was still a child. she didnt know any better. you were conflicted in your feelings, especially after hearing what niccolo had said, but it all just emphasized what was already known to you. she was a child

- your blood was pounding in your ears, and you could faintly hear gabi asking your comrades if they wanted to kill her. when armin reassured her they didnt, she looked to you and asked "what about them ?"

- you didnt answer her, and continued to lead them down where eren would be meeting you all. you were supposed to drop them off, but eren made you stay, and then a fight broke out

- you dont remember when you did it, but you held gabi in your arms, shielding her from the fight. you think you needed to be held more than she did

- things got more complicated after that, and slowly the hatred you had for sasha's killer went away, until all you had left was a hole in your chest from guilt and sadness.

- at fort salta, you thought you were going to die there, next to your friends. you thought you'd become a mindless titan, like connie's family

- but you didnt, well you did, but only for a short time, and when you turned back, you reunited with your friends

- looking around for gabi, you saw her tackle falco into a hug, which made you smile

- "y/n !" jean called, you remember looking behind you in confusion, he sounded distressed, but you understood why when you saw sasha saluting the three of you

- you felt your legs move on your own, and you ran closer to her, before stopping about a meter away. she was dead, you knew she was dead, but she was there, wearing that goofy smile on her face and looking at you as if you'd hung the stars in the sky

- she looked at you. "you did good." hearing her voice felt like a dream. your mouth felt dry, and your jaw opened and closed like a fish before you felt tears sting your eyes. "i love you."

- she nodded, before looking at the sky. "i know." she replied. sasha looked back at you before giving you a soft smile. "you know what to do now." before she disappeared in the debris

- you knew what to do, so you did it

- you found levi sitting against a rock, and when you leaned down next to him he muttered something. "i saw erwin again. and hange. all of them." you nodded. "i saw sasha." he looked at you, and gave you the closest thing to a smile. "i guess we're both at peace now."

*****

- three years later, you've become a school teacher in paradis, teaching young children how to read, to write, and basic math. you teach them about art and music, and nature. its nice being surrounded by children all day, kids are lovely.

- you live with gabi, falco and levi, in a small house inside wall sina. levi's legs have gotten weaker with time, causing him to use a wheelchair and crutches. he's given up on his dream of a tea shop, but is content with the life he has now.

- gabi and falco have gotten more rowdy with age, but they've both matured quite a bit. they make you proud

- you send letters to sasha's family. kaya is growing up, and has taken over archery just like her sister. niccolo is living with them now.

- you'll never be able to let go of sasha, or what happened to her, but the pain in your chest has dulled immensely. you think about her sometimes, when youre in bed alone, wanting to feel the warmth of her body in your arms, you know you should move on, you get teased about not having a new girlfriend, even levi has made comments about there being "plenty of fish in the sea"

it was a late night, on a friday. you were grading spelling tests at the dining room table, one lone candle being your source of light. your pen moves swiftly across the different pieces of paper, adding check marks or x marks when needed, adding a note at the bottom of each test, before adding a smiley face on all of your students' hard work. it was tedious, but it needed to be done, and you had to remember to bring them in on monday, you couldn't forget like last time.

you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. they were soft, and slow, and at first you thought it was levi but realized it couldn't be since you couldn't hear the soft tapping of his crutches on the stairs. they came down to the bottom and stood there, it was gabi, dressed in a light pink nightgown that came down to her knees, and her disheveled hair in the braid you did for her before bed.

you pushed your reading glasses to the top of your head. "what are you doing up ? it's late."

she shrugged, and walked over to sit across from you at the table. gabi grabbed the stack of papers that you already graded and shuffled through them, giggling when she found a misspelling.

you rolled her eyes. "don't laugh, they're six."

she shook her head. "i was spelling ten times better than this when i was their age."

"uh huh."

"are you calling my bluff ?"

you chuckled. "maybe. you should be in bed though."

"why ? it's not like we have school tomorrow."

you shrugged. "i was thinking we could go on a picnic outside the walls. it gets stuffy in here."

she nodded. "that would be fun."

the silence came back for a while, until you finished grading and set your papers aside.

"you know, i hear you sometimes." she whispered.

you looked at the brunette in confusion. "how do you mean ?"

"when your in bed, sometimes you cry."

you scoffed, and leaned back in your chair. "yeah well, i try to muffle it."

"i don't think ive ever apologized to you," she started. her eyes welled up with tears and her hands shook on the table. her cheeks and nose became pink as she held herself back from crying. "i know i feel bad, and i regret killing her but, i've never actually apologized to you for-"

"don't." you said. you kept your eyes on your lap, you felt your throat growing tight. "please gabi, don't say anything."

"i need to apologize-"

"you don't. you killed her. she's dead, the war is over. it's done. just let it go." you said, your voice wavering.

"have you let it go ?"

your head shot up to her. "i lost the woman i was going to spend the rest of my life with. she promised me a safe home, a farm, and a family. and she promised we'd grow old together. and that didn't happen. i grew up with her, i've known her since i was twelve, we started dating when i was sixteen. of course i haven't let it go, gabi."

gabi looked shocked by your outburst, but nodded. she understood how you felt, and she felt so guilty. "you don't forgive me do you ? i get it, i really do. i'm sorry."

you shook your head. "gabi no, i do. i do forgive you. i just, i can't forget it." you whimpered, tears started streaming down your face and you choked back a sob. "i loved her with all of my heart, i still do, but i don't hate you-"

gabi rolled her eyes, tears coming out uncontrollably now. "you should. i killed her, i ruined your chance of a happy life ! she was your family and i-"

"gabi no !" you exclaimed, cutting her off. at this point you both looked like a mess, and you were worried you woke up the boys. you grabbed her shaking hands in your own and held them to you. "you are my family. you are. so is falco, and so is levi. i forgive you, and i love you with all of my heart." you said, a sad smile on your face. her eyes widened at your words, before she started sobbing.

you got up from the table to come to her side, and held her in your arms as she cried. her arms wrapped around your shoulders while she dug her head into your neck, tickling you with her hair.

you rubbed her back and cradled her head while shushing her. she sobbed out a muffled "i love you so much y/n." that you chuckled at.

"i love you too so much." you whispered back.

it took a long time for gabi to calm down, but when she did you still held her, rocking her and yourself back and forth slightly. you two moved from the chairs down to the floor, funny enough.

you kissed the top of her head before talking, the only noise in the room being your whispers, her sniffles and the living room clock. "you know reiner's coming home soon. are you excited ?" she nodded against your skin and sniffled again, clearing her throat too.

"i hope he brings me a gift or something." she whispered back, her voice hoarse. it made you laugh, and you had to cover your mouth to keep quiet.

"they're going to shiganshina district for a couple of days, to visit mikasa and eren, and then mikasa will come with them to the capital."

"do you miss her ?" she asked.

"so much. i miss all of them, but mikasa is a close friend of mine, she holds a special place in my heart."

"do you think you and levi will go to the meetings between the marley ambassadors and the jaegerists ?" she asked.

"maybe, if they feel as though they really need us."

you sighed through your nose, which was a bit stuffy from crying. "after we turned back into humans, i saw sasha again."

gabi lifted her head up from where it was resting on your shoulder. "what ?"

"yeah, i saw her ghost i think." you looked down on her with a smile on your face. "she told me i knew what i needed to do, and then i went and got levi and you and falco." you paused for a moment, thinking about how you would word what you were thinking. "i did what i needed to do, i got my family together." gabi's eyes widened. "sasha promised me a family, and although this wasn't the family i had envisioned, it's still a family nonetheless. i believe her last gift to me was you, falco, and levi. and i am so grateful to have you all in my life."

gabi smiled before hugging you. she opened her mouth to say something-

"oi !" a deep voice came from the top of the stairs. "you two woke me up with all of your crying. go to bed." before your heard the creaking of the floorboards and the closing of a door.

you chuckled before standing up, pulling gabi with you. you walked her to her room, and even tucked her in, you both exchanged 'i love yous' and 'goodnights' before you retreated from her bedroom, closing the door behind you.

across the hall, levi stood leaned on his doorway with his arms crossed together. "that family speech, that was cute." he commented. you rolled your eyes at the older man. "were you listening in on a private conversation ?" you teased.

the ex-captain scoffed and looked away. "go to bed y/n. we have a picnic to go on tomorrow." before closing his door.

you chuckled to yourself, remembering how you brought up the idea to him that morning, and he only replied with a curt "we'll see" before sipping on his morning tea.

you went back to your own room, and got into your bed. you turned on your side, and looked at the space you always left open for sasha, and brushed your hand against the pillow.

"goodnight love."

uhhhhh doesnt feel like my best work but whatevs 😁👍 enjoy my comeback to tumblr 🤩🙏

requests open mfs ‼️

#attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan x reader #erwin smith #hange zoe #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x gn!reader #sasha braus #sasha blouse #sasha braus x reader #sasha blouse x reader #niccolo aot #falco grice #gabi braun #gabi x falco #chapter 139

189 notes · View notes

certainglitterhologram · 3 years ago

Text

I posted 472 times in 2021

167 posts created (35%)

305 posts reblogged (65%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.8 posts.

I added 258 tags in 2021

#percy jackson - 40 posts

#nico di angelo - 33 posts

#heroes of olympus - 30 posts

#will solace - 29 posts

#pjo - 28 posts

#solangelo - 27 posts

#hoo - 25 posts

#trials of apollo - 19 posts

#toa - 17 posts

#school - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 123 characters

#of course this isthe onetime i actually put effort into my tags and its the one time my keyboarddecdiedsto be a little shit

My Top Posts in 2021

can we all please remember that Will Solace, a fifteen year old boy, reattached someone's arms to their body.

79 notes • Posted 2021-05-10 08:14:45 GMT

friendly reminder that there was an Apollo shroud burned at the end of TLO. If Michael's body was never found, and Lee died in BoTL, that means that the Apollo cabin lost at least 3 people.

That means Will Solace lost at least three siblings.

don't mind me, just sobbing-

87 notes • Posted 2021-04-18 12:24:50 GMT

conversations in my eighth grade class room with little to no context:

“are rugs just tiny carpets?”

“if pennywise and i sat down and had a talk, maybe he would stop killing little children to boost his self esteem”

“if you dont ship drarry what are you doing?” “shipping scorbus”

“jason is my boyfriend.” “oh! is he new this year?” “no hes a tree you fucking idiot.”

“That’s a nice backpack..very colorful...” “I’m fucking GAY, dianna.”

“i read wattpad.” *rest of the class* “same.”

*me ranting about solangelo and how i just wnat someone to love me like that or ill DIE* my friend: “well, mAYbE, you just need to find your will to live!”

“new year old me, but i’m already perfect so ill just say new year, old me”

“GUYS IM GOING TO GET DRUG TESTED AND IM SCARED” “have you been doing drugs?’ “no” “then why are you nervous?” “what if i did them by accident or something?”

‘you know what tastes really good?” ‘what?” ‘staples.”

‘HOW THE FUCK DID I GET ELEVEN FOR THE ANSWER TO A QUeSTION IN FRENCH CLASS?”

‘so when i was younger i used to ask myself why artemis was my favorite god (godess but they said god so meulch). do you know why? its because im a raging lesbian now.”

“lola. lola. lola. lola. LOLA.” “wHAT” “play me at rock paper shoot’

‘look at this very nice pencil that i onehundred percent bought with my own money’ ‘thats mY FuCKinG pEncil you asshole GIVE IT BACK.’ *pencil box spills* ‘THATS WHERE ALL MY PENCILS HAVE BEEN GOING????”

*singing* ‘my favorite flavor sweets are raspberry amphetamines' teacher: “EXCUSE ME?”

‘sorry, i just choked on my own personality’

214 notes • Posted 2021-01-11 22:36:59 GMT

just a reminder that patroclus has actually, legitimately been called “Achilles’ bitch” before.

225 notes • Posted 2021-04-20 01:11:49 GMT

THINGS IVE OVERHEARD IN MY EIGHTH GRADE CLASS WITH LITTLE TO NO CONTEXT...PART LIKE, 4 OR SMTH

these r all from friday..

‘dude why are periods even a thing...its so fuckin pointless...im a literal INFANT why is my body trying to reproduce’

‘ramen is good but you know what would be better’ ‘wat?” “*sobs* having high self esteem’

‘BRO! NO WAY, NEIL! BROOOO!” “YES ELI, BRO. I LOVE YOU BRO/ HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.”

‘has anyone here actually seen a weed brownie b4′

“guys my parents are not letting have a batmizvah.’ “maddie, youre not even jewish” “BARMITZVAHS r FOR JEWS OH FUC”

“zeus is a dick and for what?”

“totally hypothetical how long can you survive in a coffin...like buried alive and shit” “five hours give or take” “excuse me”

“i wish i could fly”

“do you think i’ll die if i snort smarties?” “probably” “Good. Do you have any on you?”

“sometimes I like to make really subtly gay comments to my homophobic parents because they only way they can ask to explain is to ask ‘are you gay?’ and they’re wusses so they would never. It’s satisfying seeing their faces turn purple every time i see a hot guy on tiktok and comment about it.” “Aaron...aaron..”

“i literally just got a 67 on my math test..please tell me what you got so i can feel better about myself...” “100.” “*chucks hydroflask*”

“dude why does it snow. Seriously. Or why does water freeze. Why is it such an asshole, freezing like that?. Like, ‘ope its too cold for me outside, u know what that means’ and it turns into hard little blocks. One of us is the overreacter here, and it aint me..”

“I want a pride flag in my room but my parents are homophobic, so a jojo siwa poster works ig.” “AARON-”

990 notes • Posted 2021-02-14 14:35:23 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

12 notes · View notes

spideyspence · 5 years ago

Text

i swear you’re here; peter parker

peter parker x reader

summary: It’s nice having Peter with her when she wakes up in the morning. He’s been so much closer to her after he went to space, much clingier. He sleeps over a lot more, but she doesn’t go over to his and May’s place for dinner every Friday night like she once did. She’s unsure of why her mum hasn’t commented on Peter staying at theirs at much as he does.Y/N doesn’t have an issue with Peter being with her as much as he is, until she finds out why.

warnings: this is very sad im sorry, hallucinating, mentally ill!reader (but there’s no diagnosis)

A/N: this is is set after infinity war but before endgame so y’all can guess what’s happening right?

i have come to love this fic so much because it was a support through some of the tougher times with my mental health since the start of april, so this fic is my baby

tagged: @hey-its-grey (thanks for dealing with my rants about this fic), @poetrypeter, @hollandroos, @kiwispideys, @plushparker, @naturallytom

my masterlist

the playlist

Y/N walked into the train carriage with her best friend and boyfriend, Peter Parker. The train was packed as it usually was at 3:30 after school, so the two lovebirds stood and held onto one another, trusting each other to not fall.

Earphones were plugged into her phone and extended out with one earbud in Y/N’s ear and one in Peter’s. Some kind of alternative music was playing that could be heard due to the set volume, but they both still talked to one another, electric guitar playing in the background.

They maintained eye contact throughout the train ride back to Y/N’s apartment. When they first started dating, eye contact was hard for the both of them, but they both found out later on that while talking, the eye contact meant everything to them (they’d also be cheesy and would always say that they would ‘get lost in each other’s eyes’ and their friend MJ would gag every time). They denied it, but many of their friends labelled them as a cheesy couple.

After a thorough conversation about a new episode of a cartoon the two recently had become obsessed with and had binge watched over the weekend, the train came to their stop and they both hopped off.

The walk back to Y/N’s home included hand holding and more alternative music but at a lower volume this time. The streets of Queens weren’t as loud as the train was, especially on this sunnier afternoon.

Peter was always staying at Y/N’s place after school. He would come over and study with her and they’d go out for dinner some nights. One particularly warm night, they walked around the city as the sun was setting and buy some street food they would find. Any nights that Y/N would end up being a little bit clingier, Peter would be happy to stay the night.

It was like everything was going Y/N’s way, but she didn’t question it.

Her usual school routine was waking up in the morning, Peter would grab his own breakfast while Y/N got changed and then she would grab hers as her boyfriend got changed. They always brushed their teeth together as they looked at one another at the mirror and danced around listening to some of Peter’s playlists. They’d catch the train together and they’d go to their classes together.

Ned and MJ were different though. Y/N sat with them at lunch, but they didn’t really talk much. Y/N wanted to know why there was always silence between the four of them for nothing had changed. Ned and MJ still sat on the seats opposite Peter and Y/N in the cafeteria. It wasn’t like any of them had died in the snap.

Y/N knew about the real Stark internship. She was always worried about what would happen to Peter when he went out on patrol. She feared him coming to her room with some horrible wound or him not coming back at all. At the same time however, she knew that this is what Peter wanted. He loved helping others and even though he was putting his life at risk, he felt good about how he was helping the city he lived in. (Also, he had a great relationship with Tony Stark and Y/N loved hearing Peter talk about Tony and what they worked on with his suit).

She was scared when she turned around in the city, seeing people turning to dust around her. She called Ned and MJ to make sure that they were okay, but Peter wasn’t answering her calls. She feared that he may have turned to dust, and she couldn’t handle that thought. She couldn’t bear to think of a life without Peter by her side. So, when she returned home that afternoon to see Peter lying on her bed, doing his chemistry homework and his endearing smile appearing on his face when he noticed her come into her room, she knew everything was going to be alright.

Later that night however, when her Mum returned home with the news that her father was one of the victims of the snap, she held her face in her hands as she sobbed and ran back to her room. Peter had whispered to her that he had heard the news through the wall, as he hugged her as Y/N wept on her bed all night long.

There were quiet whispers shared among the two teens sitting in their chemistry class. They were writing some new equations that they had just learnt as the bell rang. It was their last class for the day and like usual, the two packed their school bags and caught the train back to Y/N’s home.

They opened up their chemistry textbooks and notebooks to do the rest of their work and Y/N was confused at one moment, so Peter helped her out.

‘Babe, you’ve forgotten to balance the equation here, that’s why you aren’t getting the right answer. See with phosphorus, you’ve got it written as seven when it should be 3.’ Peter explained.

‘Thanks Pete,’ she smiled as Peter went back to doing the rest of his work.

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too Y/N. I’ll love you for as long as I live.’ The brown-haired boy smiled.

She laughed as she leant in and gave her boyfriend a kiss on the cheek and they went back to their homework.

Y/N’s mother came home from work and said to Y/N that she needed to go see someone about her father’s death. Her mother wanted her to talk about how she was feeling because she wasn’t talking about his death all that much.

Y/N was confused because she did talk openly about it to her mother. She had grieved and she still missed her father, she always would but she didn’t understand. She grieved every night for a month but now she thinks of her father daily, and she hopes that he would continue to be proud of her.

She ate dinner with her mother as Peter went back to his and had his dinner with his Aunt. They weren’t going to hang out tonight because Y/N was tired, and she wanted to do some reading for English that night and wanted to read some of her own novels.

She wanted some downtime to herself, which she always valued a lot.

Before her appointment with the counsellor, she didn’t realise how much ‘downtime to herself’ she would have after the session.

Her first class was English for the day. Writing notes on the themes of the novel, colour coordinating. Peter and Y/N didn’t have the same English class, but it was nice to have some distance while at school.

Class felt like it went on forever, but when it ended, she walked to her locker and had planned to go to library for her spare periods to study. Peter also had spares at the same time and on these particular days they would go out for lunch. Some days it was a pizza, some days it was going to Delmar’s Deli-Grocery where Peter and Y/N played with the cat that sat on the counter until their sandwiches were done.

Y/N wasn’t looking forward to her appointment with her councillor. She hadn’t seen her in a few months. She saw her after the snap when her father had passed and if it wasn’t for her councillor, she wouldn’t know what kind of mental state she would be in currently.

Peter and Y/N studied together, Y/N writing a few more notes for her English and Peter studying for his Spanish test the next period (classic Peter style).

They then walked through the streets of NYC, making their way to Delmar’s that day. Peter and Y/N were ordering separately that day. They petted Murph as they were waiting and sipped their soft drinks.

When they returned back to school, Peter went off to his Spanish class and Y/N wished him good luck with a kiss on his cheek and he walked off down the corridor, the sun coming in through the windows in front of him.

Peter had told Y/N earlier on that day that he was leaving straight after school to help May with something, so she didn’t need to wait up after class.

It worked well for Y/N because she needed to go to the appointment which was about an hour later after school finished.

Prior to their appointment, she browsed her favourite second hand book shop and managed to find a really nice edition of her favourite book, and also a cool looking comic that she knew Peter didn’t have. She’d give her boyfriend the comic next day at school.

Y/N then walked a couple more blocks until she was standing outside the councillor’s door and she was nervous. She would have liked to have Peter holding her hand in this moment to calm her nerves.

She didn’t understand why she had to talk to someone right now. Y/N was doing well in school and her mental health was fine. She didn’t need a check-up.

But her mum thought otherwise.

Y/N sat on the couch while her councillor asked her how she was. She told her that she didn’t understand why she had to be sitting there. Y/N was alright. She hadn’t had a panic attack in couple of months, so things weren’t adding up.

‘Well, your mum called, and she told me to discuss with you a few things that are concerning her.’

So, she asked some of the usual questions. How she felt about her Dad and his death. Of course, Y/N still missed her father and her heart still hurt but at least her heart rate didn’t increase at any mention of him anymore. She had become stronger and moved on, just like her dad would have wanted her to.

Then she asked Y/N about Peter.

‘What? Peter, my boyfriend? Yeah, he’s doing well. We’ve been studying together lately but since the whole ‘half the world dying’ thing, he has been a bit more clingy than usual, but nothing has really changed.’ She rambled.

‘What does Peter have to do with this anyway?’ She questioned, confused on why the person opposite her, who knew so much about her would be asking about her boyfriend.

What direction was this conversation taking?

‘See, your mum wanted me to talk to you about Peter.’ The councillor smiled softly.

‘Okay look, if she’s wanting to say that we need to spend more time apart, why she would ask you to talk to me about it?’ Y/N asked with a puzzled face, but a small laugh to cover up her nervousness.

Her councillor laughed but their face then turned into a frown.

‘Peter didn’t survive the snap.’

Y/N knew she didn’t hear that sentence right.

‘Sorry?’

‘Peter died in the snap. He was one of the victims. He isn’t with us anymore.’ Her councillor said softly, cautiously.

‘Okay you see, that isn’t true. He helped me out with my chemistry homework a couple of nights ago!’ She stood up, infuriated that someone was telling her that her own boyfriend was dead, even though she saw him walk into his Spanish class for his test only a couple of hours prior.

Y/N started to feel the familiar tightness in her chest that she hadn’t felt for months. Her heart rate increased. Her councillor’s voice sounded like a dull, echoey sound in the back of her mind but she couldn’t hear it over the thudding of her heart. Y/N could hear someone calling out her name, but she didn’t feel like she was in the moment.

She looked at her councillor dead in the eyes and said ‘no’ as she walked out of the room, blinded by tears.

Now it wasn’t her smartest idea to walk blindly through New York at one of its busiest times, but Y/N jumped on the train and headed home. She wiped her tears away as her councillor’s words swam through her mind. She hit shuffle on her music to hopefully take her mind off everything only for the song to play was one that Peter had recommended to her.

‘You have to listen to this artist they’re so good Y/N’ Peter smiled. He had her computer sitting on his lap as he went through her Spotify. He had created a playlist called ‘peter p’s recs’ because he thought it was cool and Y/N needed a ‘music education’. He had chosen a silly photo of him that was on her computer as the photo for the playlist.

She looked at that playlist now, realising that it hadn’t been touched in months. She didn’t want to believe it, but she needed to find out herself.

She felt her tears return as she hopped of the train and headed to the direction of Peter and May’s apartment.

She walked up the stairs, headphones no longer playing music, just listening to her unsteady breath as she looked at the door she hadn’t seen in so long.

Y/N was debating on walking away and not dealing with the situation that was arising, but before she could stop herself, she had knocked three times on the door.

Moments later the door opened, and a familiar face appeared.

‘Hi Y/N, how are you? I haven’t seen you in so long’ May said to her but her smile quickly disappeared when she saw the tears in Y/N’s eyes.

‘Is he here? Or have I just been imagining all this time that Peter is still next to me and that we’ve gone to grab lunch together only for the reality to be that I go to Delmar’s alone?’ She sobbed.

May opened her arms and Y/N fell forward into her embrace and the teenage girl cried.

‘I don’t want it to be real but now I can see that everything is pointed towards him not being here. I haven’t seen you in so long which is completely out of the ordinary, I don’t see Spider-Man on the news anymore, but Peter wouldn’t want to fight after everything, I know that, but MJ and Ned don’t even talk about Peter anymore. It’s just silence.’ She ranted.

‘He can’t be dead because he held me. He held me when I cried for my Dad to come back when he died. He was there. I could feel him.’ She said, tears falling from her eyes as May was at the bench, making the two of them cups of tea.

May had sent Y/N’s mother a text saying that her daughter was over at hers and that she was safe, she just needed to talk. It was a part of the female guardian code.

Y/N heard the door open and she heard the keys being placed on the small table by the door.

‘Hey babe, I didn’t realise you were gonna be over.’ Peter smiled at Y/N but just like his aunt, his smile faltered when he saw her red eyes.

‘What’s wrong honey?’ Peter asked, worried.

That’s when she turned to May.

‘Can’t you-? He’s right there.’ Y/N pointed to the chair opposite her at the table and she looked at May. She shook her head as she placed the two mugs down on the table.

‘May please, he’s right there. Can’t you see him? He’s there okay. He helped me with my chemistry homework okay. He’s alive.’

‘Y/N, he’s not here.’

She looked back to where Peter was standing, except he wasn’t there anymore. Her eyes widened as her boyfriend disappeared.

‘Pete? Peter? Where’d you go?’ She called. She could hear the panic set into her voice.

She felt arms wrap around her and she cried into Aunt May’s chest.

‘He was telling me jokes in class and- and-’ Y/N hiccupped.

Peter was now gone, and Y/N had finally come to terms with it, and she let out all the pain.

She fell onto the floor, wailing loudly. The pain, it was unbearable. It was scorching hot but ice cold at the same time. It was nothing but everything at once.

May helped her up and guided her towards Peter’s bedroom. May knew that Y/N needed to rest and was unsure whether sleeping on Peter’s bed would be good for her or not, but it was the best and easiest place for she to stay for tonight.

May again, let Y/N’s mum know that she was staying over because she was in no position to go home but to let the school know that she wasn’t going to be at school the next day and to pick her up late morning.

Peter’s scent filled her nose when she entered her dead boyfriend’s room. Everything was left the exact same, nothing had changed.

She fell onto Peter’s bed in the corner of his room and cocooned herself in his cold blankets. She was wrapped in his scent and she knew that this was the last time she would feel whole in a long time. So, she fell asleep to try and numb the pain.

She hadn’t just lost her boyfriend, she was feeling the pain of losing her best friend and her mind.

'Cause I'm bringing you back to life And I know that you're gone, but I swear that you're here It's a feeling that won't disappear

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #post infinity war #pre endgame #marvel imagine #peter parker #spider-man #spider-man x reader #peter parker fanfic #peter parker fanfiction #spider-man fanfic #spider-man fanfiction #peter parker x you #spider-man x you #spider-man imagine #peter parker imagine

170 notes · View notes

joetasker · 6 years ago

Text

For you p.2

I knock excitedly. "Y/N! You're finally here!" My mom kisses my cheek. She looks over at Dan and stares unsurely. "Hello Daniel! Come one in!" She hugs him awkwardly and laughs nervously as she wipes her hands on her dress. I take Dan's hand and squeeze it.

Long story short, the pre-teens liked him (definitely the girls) except my parents and my brother.

Dan and I were back at his house. Dan was doing his University work online whilst I talked to my brother.

"He just seems like the type who'd date a girl to just-you know-have intercourse with." My 20 year old brother whispers into his headphones.

"Well we've been dating for seven months so..." I look over at Dan who's doing his work with a frustrated look on his face. "Besides, he's the best. I honestly do not care if you dislike him or not. You don't even know him, or at least the way I know him." I whisper-yell.

"Whatever Y/N, but if he breaks your heart I will honestly give zero shits. I'll talk to you later." He hangs up the FaceTime call. I close my laptop and sit up on the bed.

"What percentage are you on in your English class?" I tilt my head as he continues to do work not answering my question. "Daniel!" I wave a hand. "Dan, It's late." I say as I stand up and walk to the drawer filled with my clothing. I quickly take off the clothing I wore and sat in my lingerie. "Hey Dan! C'mon babe, let's go to bed." I whine. I walk over to him and shut the lid of his laptop.

"Hey what the fuck Y/N! I was taking a Unit Test!" He quickly opened it back up to the page he was on. Luckily everything was saved. "For fucks sake Y/N! I could've lost all my work you idiot! What if I did that to you?" He yells at me and rolls his eyes. I stand still. He's never yelled at me like that.

"I'm sorry Dan. I didn't want you to lose your work. I just think since you're way ahead of the class might as well go to sleep-" I put my right hand on my shoulder.

"Just fuck off will you?" He gives me a dirty look and goes back to the test. I walk towards the bed and feel my anxiety build up quicker than expected. I lie in bed with my eyes wide open. There is no doubt that I will cry myself to sleep, thankfully he had his noise cancelling headphones.

—

I woke up and walked lazily into the bathroom. My eyes were bloodshot, definitely not super intense. Just a lot of crying. I wash my face and go back into Dan's room to find him awake. We both don't say anything so I just grab my outfit for today and walk to his bathroom taking a quick shower.

"How'd you do on your unit test?" I smile, putting on my shirt.

"Fine." He mumbles. "Where are you going?" He looks me up and down. I don't know if it was out of rudeness or something else.

"Oh um, with Erin and Heather. We're just going to a coffee shop and talking." I nod my head as I grab my small black backpack.

"About what?" He knows exactly what was going on.

"Just about life." I shrug and begin to walk downstairs. He follows me downstairs. "I'll see you later Daniel." I wave without turning back. I close the door before I could hear his response.

—

"Aw Darling!" Heather hugs me. We were at her large home that herself and her boyfriend owned.

"You didn't do anything wrong! He's probably just stressed or mad at the fact your parents didn't like him." Erin hugs me as well.

"I'm just scared he hates me now! What if he cheats on me or breaks up with me by telling me why he hates me. I'll have an anxiety attack." I sob in both of their arms. My phone begins to ring which I quickly pick up without looking at the caller id. "Hello?" I sound like I was just crying, which was true.

"Y/N! Where are you? The coffee shop closed like ten minutes ago! Why aren't you home?" He yells.

"Sorry, I'll be there in five." I say And quickly hang up. "I have to go. Are we still up for next Saturday?" I look towards both of them who nod their heads.

"Good luck babe!" Erin waves. I wave back with a smile.

—

"Dan Im home!" I yell as I skip up the stairs and into Dan's room.

"You had me so worried Y/N! I called you twenty-three fucking times and you didn't once pick up your phone. What's the point in having one!" He yells.

"Dan calm down Im fine!" I pull him down on the bed.

"Yeah but what if something would've happened to you. I'd go insane." He holds my waist tightly.

"Baby I'm okay." I kiss his forehead. "Do you want to go to bed?" I ask in an almost childish tone. He nods his head and takes off his jeans and shirt. I take off my tight shirt and jeans.

"Fuck I'm so tired." He groans. I massage his head. Running my fingers through his hair. He moans at the feeling of my fingers. He shrugs his shoulders up to his ears and relaxes them as I stop.

"I hate my parents. They don't like you! How is that even possible!" I groan. "Honestly if they keep it up, there's no point in having parents. They aren't here to support me so they should just-die!" I didn't actually mean that at all. Ever since I was little, they just gave me money instead of love.

"We should go to your house and have sex. What would they do if they heard me thrusting inside you, making you moan. Making you cum." He whispered.

"Dan maybe they just think you're bad news." I say, ignoring what he said.

"I mean, we did have secret sex every Fridays for three months straight. In your room. Maybe your parents heard us one night." Dan chuckles.

"Oh my god no! That would be so embarrassing!" I cover the blush on my cheeks. He smiled at me and closed his eyes, clearly tired. "Goodnight Bear." I hug him.

"Goodnight." He whispers.

No Dan was lying next to me. It was just myself now. I had absolutely no idea where he could be since it was just a regular Tuesday. I change into jeans and a tucked in white shirt and grab my backpack. My phone began to ring so I quickly picked it up.

"Hey Y/N! Im picking you up right now. I have to show you something." He says.

"Oh okay! I'll see you here then." I hang up and sit on the couch tapping my foot. Around ten minutes go by and I finally hear the honk of his car. "Hi Daddy!" I yell in a high pitched tone, obviously joking. He stares at me up and down and unlocks the door. Once I'm fully in, he starts to drive quickly. "What's going on Daniel?" I ask as he continues to drive quickly. It was only a three minute drive to our destination, which was my house. He got out and opened the door for me. We walked to the door but he opened it himself.

It was so quick I didn't even know how to respond. I stare in horror, not knowing how to react. A sob leaves my mouth. "What did you do?" I yell. Pale skin, purple lips. Crimson colour stained the white carpet.

"I did it. for you."

#amazingphil #danisnotonfire #dan howell #phil lester #danisnotinteresting #phan #dan and phil #phandom #danhowell #philisnotonfire #dan howell x reader #dan howell smut #dan howell imagine #dan howell imagines #daniel howell x reader #daniel howell smut #daniel howell imagine

14 notes · View notes

leaughrilke · 8 years ago

Text

super-sensate-seestras replied to your post

“Who do u think the superbabies will date?? :D (also since stella looks...”

I would love to hear more about Stella and Beth's relationship drama cause I absolutely love all of these breakdowns about the superbabies

WELL FRIEND there’s other drama too but this is the Major drama that hinders their relationship for a long time

so stella know she has a crush on beth, has been like aggressively ignoring said crush and tryin to Live Her Life and its been a year since stella came out, came to terms and she’s just started her nighttime shenanigans as a vigilante, just started trying to help the way kara does, the way maia does and its going ok??? until she. you know. gets stabbed (LIGHTLY STABBED) and is like hmmm i feel as though i should reassess maybe

and then beth’s back in national city after graduating early with like three bachelors (xenobiology, nanotechnology, and engineering) and at least one masters and a corresponding doctorate (in something sciencey, listen im barely an english major), working at l-corp bc she’s a Documented Genius and stella wants to step up her vigilante game, especially since she recently was lightly stabbed and doesnt rlly want that to happen again, and beth’s always been rlly calm and steady, very logical and she keeps all of maia’s secrets, so stella approaches her a little reluctantly to see if she’s willing to help and beth gives her this long, searching look and finally agrees, designs and builds her a new suit with a shitton of gadgets, is the main reason stella starts getting called mechagirl by the press but only helps with stella’s promise that beth can then help with actual missions bc like?? beth cares about her a lot too, doesnt want to see her die ya know??

and it’s weird?? bc now she’s friends with beth in her own right??? works alongside her a lot and beth serves as her tech person, finds her jobs she can do that supergirl or birdy (maia’s superhero alter ego) haven’t gotten to yet and national city gains a new superhero pretty much bc of beth. and then its a late night of saving ppl and stella comes back to her apartment/headquarters and beth’s still there, wrapping up some end of night reports (she insists on keeping detailed logs in order to avoid any issues with the cops later on) and she’s ordered stella’s favorite takeout, put it in the oven to warm for her and stella’s so grateful and also pretty tired?? rlly tired and beth basically lives with her and sometimes the proximity blurs lines in stella’s mind and so she just leans down to kiss beth, murmurs thank you sleepily and goes into her room to change. and beth’s just sitting there?? like oh my god, the girl i’ve been in love with for months just kissed me and she doesn’t even realize it but then stella REALIZES IT and runs back out like shit im so sorry beth, that was so inappropriate of me but beths like?? wait do you not like me and stella’s like WAIT DO YOU LIKE ME????

surprise!! this is how stella finds out beth’s an alien and also how beth finds out stella’s an alien lmao. like. beth’s species has mental shields, similar to martians?? so stella’s never been able to read her or see in her mind but she never rlly tried to or even questioned it?? or even noticed bc she’s rlly empathetic anyway, reads body language rlly well, so she’s never known that beth likes her the way stella likes beth

like, later in their relationship, stella suddenly can read beth?? like rlly well and she’s like um what the hell and beth’s like oh, yeah, i stopped putting up the block and stella’s just like starry eyed like holy shit you trust me that much???

beth’s like uh yeah but dont let it go to your head you nerd

but are they smart abt this and admit their v deep feelings for one another then?? no. they just hookup and then keep hooking up, pretending like nothings changed, pretending like theyre not basically living together or doing all the shit Couples do but just refusing to tell anyone or acknowledge it at all. and it’s ok for a while?? its solid

but then stella’s suit malfunctions, gives her a nasty burn down her side and she begs beth to not tell anyone that she’s in the hospital, that she’s been hurt and beth’s like shit, stella, i can’t keep doing this bc they’re working with a budget of about eleven dollars, a starburst, and stella’s bus pass, building with shit from the scrap yard and old electronics from secondhand stores and beth wants stella to just tell her family she’s the new vigilante bc then they’d have access to better resources, then beth wouldn’t be so scared every time stella runs out to go save a family from a burning car or stop a bank robbery, but stella refuses, knows that it would be a battle to be accepted like this.

its a fight they’ve had for months before and then stella’s armor fucks up and beth just calls it. tells her that she comes clean or beth won’t help her keep almost dying, so stella tells her that she doesn’t need her and beth moves all her shit out of stella’s apartment and its all rlly quiet, subdued and its so fucking sad

she takes the job offer she has at wayne security in charm city (wink wink) and doesnt tell stella, stella finds out when she goes over to her moms and finds beth there, with maia and her moms and finn, all laughing and grinning and maia tells her that beth is getting her own department at wayne security, that she’s moving on friday and stella fakes a smile, congratulates beth before she leaves and that’s the end of it, she never sees beth again

but then stella wrecks her motorcycle. i think i mentioned once that stella is a little bit of an adrenaline junkie?? well she’s a huge adrenaline junkie and she was testing the limits of her newly redesigned bike, pushing it past 90, 120, 150 and then she just?? loses control of the motorcycle. it just spins out and stella tries to stop it, turns into the spin and pumps the brakes which slows it down enough that she doesnt just fucking die, but not so much that she’s not close to dying

beth is still her emergency contact. so beth gets the call, middle of the night, that stella danvers was in a wreck, is on the way to the hospital and that she should get here as soon as possible. but beth is a ten hour drive away and can’t possibly know that she’d get there soon enough, be there if....if it came down to stella not being alone. and. well. its not her place, never was. so she calls lena, tells her the emts called the last number stella called bc its so much easier that way, kinder to everyone she thinks

she still drives through the night to national city. gets there just a little after maia does, her eyes red and puffy from sobbing on the freeway, hands shaking a little. thank god no one asks why she’s there or why she’s this panicked, bc she’d probably tell them and she knows that’s the last thing stella would want (or, well. she thinks that at least). maia just sobs out that beth is the best friend for coming, holds onto her in this desperate, damp sort of hug and beth just stays quiet

beth doesnt stay after she finds out stella woke up, is going to be okay. she can’t right?? she shouldnt be here in the first place right??

so maia stays in national city to help stella in her recovery bc stella’s being stubborn and refuses to move back in with their moms, and maia figures most of her moping is to do with the fact she’s not allowed anywhere near her motorcycle anymore, but then she finds this one shirt that she knows is beth’s, knows beth has had since high school and its tucked under stella’s pillow and she puts it together pretty quickly. the way they were friends and then all of a sudden they werent, the way beth came running back to nc the second stella got hurt, that weird pulse of anger, hurt she felt when stella found out beth was moving to charm city. and like??? she doesnt know what to do with that information, she’s not sure what to feel or how to think about this so she just files it away for a later time, tucks the shirt back under stella’s pillow without saying anything

so eventually stella gets convinced to move back home, bc maia’s like hey. i dont mind living with you and i dont mind helping you, but the neighbors are starting to think its weird that i carry you up the three flights of stairs to your apartment every day so finally stella moves home and maia comes with her bc they’re finally in a good place again?? they finally worked things out between them from when they were kids and maia’s not about to leave stella, not when stella’s like finally started seeing her as another Certified Safe Place. so they’re back in their childhood bedrooms and then lena finds out about stella’s vigilantism. mostly by accident?? stella’s still p much out of commission until her body’s at a 100 percent again but lena finds the mask and its a whole Thing between them, the first time stella’s ever really fought with lena and then by natural extension, kara finds out and then maia clues in and then the whole family has an opinion on it and stella’s just like MCFUCK OFF

and maia?? is like desperately scared for her sister, and she’s angry and she’s hurt that she didn’t tell her, didnt think that she would do anything to help her, but she also knows how isolated stella feels, how helpless she must be feeling, how stuck she is, so she calls beth

and when beth is beating around the bush with it, playing dumb like idk why you’d call me?? stella and i really aren’t that close, maia just calls her out on it like. elizabeth, i know for a fact you were sleeping with my sister

yeah, oh. i have some words to share with you at a later date, but right now stella needs someone in her corner and that can’t be me

and beth doesnt like. doesnt even hesitate. she drives her shitty beat up jetta the ten hours it takes to get from charm city to national city and gets a shitty hotel and is so, so nervous?? bc what if stella doesnt want her here?? what if she never wants to see beth again??? but then maia’s texting, saying that the house is empty if she wants to talk to stella and she does, she really does, like? she didnt realize how big of a part of her life stella was until she was gone, until she had moved to a new city and met new people like she’s completely in love with stella, so she goes

stella opens the door and just stares for a second before she says that maia’s out for a while but beth just keeps looking at her and finally says it outright, says i’m here to see you, stella like its the most obvious thing in the world and stella’s so tired, she’s starting to close the door and she’s saying i dont need another lecture, i’ve had enough of those for a lifetime and beth lets her close it, knows her well enough to know she wont walk away from the door before beth does, so she calls through and says im not here to lecture you, stell. i just. i wanted to see you

the door opens

and its incredibly uncomfortable for a while, incredibly tense and when beth tries to ask her what’s going on, stella just hisses what, like you care? and beth like?? normally would fire back with something, normally would let this blow up into a fight but she’s thought about it, she really has, and she knows that any time she can have with stella is better than no time at all. that she’d rather take stella as she is, thrill seeking and too good for words and hard headed in the extreme, take the risks that come with her than have anything else. so beth nods. yeah. i care. i care a lot about you stella, and i shouldnt have forced you to make a decision like i did. but its scary when the girl you love doesnt see the same value in her life that you do and it was terrifying watching you leave every night and not being sure if i would wake up to your face on the news

and stella’s like?? shit. shIT, didn’t account for this at all. but beth is very steady, is giving her this even-keeled look, keeping her eyes on stella but not forcing eye contact and she finally stands, gets ready to leave

and she tells stella i love you. and believe me when i say that transcends boundaries like platonic and romantic. i love you, stella danvers, and i will always be here for you, in whatever way you want me to be and then she’s leaving

and stella has a choice to make, two paths she can take and she stands a little unsteadily and grabs beth’s hand and pulls her back

and she’s like im still pretty stupid, you’re aware of that, right? and beth laughs, refutes the statement as she rests her forehead against stella’s. you’re not stupid, stella, never stupid. a little dense sometimes... and stella laughs too before she admits, finally, i love you too, genius. and i dont think i can keep doing this without you? and she tries to backpedal, bc she’s worried she’s being manipulative or something but beth just shakes her head, says im going to kiss you now, ok? and stella’s nodding fast, tears finally starting to fall when it all hits her and then they’re kissing for the first time in six months and theyre maybe still kissing when everyone comes home and maia groans bc like i texted you specifically so i could avoid seeing this ugh you guuuyyysssss

#super-sensate-seestras #reply #supergirl #superbabies #stella danvers

19 notes · View notes

quietghosties · 8 years ago

Text

September 26th 2016

I’m emotional right now so I want to explain the day I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and how shitty it was.

On Friday September 23rd 2016 I went to the nurses office in school because my cold just wouldn’t go away and I felt incredibly ill. The nurse asked what was wrong and I just broke down crying. It was really embarrassing. I went home at 12pm. On Saturday September 24th I went apple picking with my good friends. Through out the day I kept asking if we could stop and go to the bathroom, or if we could catch a drink. I was always so thirsty and since I was constantly drinking, I was constantly peeing. On Sunday September 25th I kept waking up every hour at night going to the bathroom. I thought to myself that I was growing a bladder problem. I asked my mom if I could see a doctor since my cold wouldn’t go away and because I was rapidly losing weight. I weighed 98 pounds. Was the scale broken? On Monday September 26th I ran the pacer. I could barely run 20 laps… I thought I was dying. I ask my teacher four times if I could get a drink. I was so thirsty. School ends and I get home, feeling nervous. It’s about 7pm and I realize, oh man I should start my homework. Im in pj’s. When I get downstairs to start my homework, I get thirsty. I grab a water bottle and fill it with ice and water. I had to use my cheap water bottle because all the other ones where piling on my desk upstairs. My dad then gets a phone call. It’s my mom. My dad starts yelling. My mom wants my dad to take me to the ER. She said when she called my doctor and told them my symptoms, they told her to take me immediately. Couldn’t we do this tomorrow? Why now on a Monday night? My dad was angry. But you see, when my dad is scared he hides it with anger. After a few phone calls to the doctor back and forth, my dad takes me to cvs and buys a Meter. He wanted to know for sure to see if it was worth taking me to the ER. He didn’t get the strips so saying fuck it, he takes me to the hospital. I’m afraid. He’s driving fast. Aggressively. Recklessly. We’re here. We walk in and approach the front desk. My dad speaks to the man at the desk as I’m trying not to cry. We immediately are brought to the back and the kind lady takes my vitals. She pulls out a giant meter. Tests my blood. Looks at the Meter and makes a face. Looks at my dad. Says “it looks like it”. I knew what she meant. I cover my face, bend over and sob. She brings me to the ER area with the beds. My mom is in philly right now coming to the hospital as fast as she can. I’m texting Zach, Staci, Maggie. I wish they were here. The debate is on. To distract myself, my mom and I watch Trump and Hillary. How iconic. It’s 3am. Still awake waiting to be transferred to the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. I’m still so thirsty. I’m not allowed to drink water, but a nurse brings me ice chips with a smile. I ride an ambulance to CHOP. My moms there. My dad had to go home to go to work the next morning. I’m strapped in. The EMTS are nice. Everyone’s talking. I’m in shock. I laid there looking out the back window as we rode the highway. I wanted to cry but I didn’t. I felt empty. We arrive at CHOP. I’m brought to the hospital room. They weigh me and test my blood sugar. 96 pounds. 936. Critically high. I want to sleep. 5am. I’m hungry. We go to the cafeteria. I wanted to eat but I had to count carbs already and take insulin. I couldn’t just eat. You see, I couldn’t just eat. I was so used to eating right away. I had to wait. I was angry. I was really angry. Once I ate I slept and throughout the remaining hours of dark, I felt the nurse test my blood and manage my Ketones. On Tuesday September 27th I met the diabetes team. I was overwhelmed and wanted to go home. This can’t be happening I thought to myself. This can’t be real. I’m laying in the bed napping when I hear my mom say my name. I get up and there’s a golden retriever. A therapy dog came to see me. Just what I needed. His name was Echo and he was so soft. On Wednesday September 28th they tell me I can go home tomorrow. In the hospital, you can’t feel time. You don’t know when it’s morning or night. I heard footsteps in the hallway running. My friends are here. I was so happy they came to see me. It helped me forget. They stayed till around 9pm. Even gave me a minion balloon. Haha (I hate minions and they know it) On Thursday September 29th I go home. I missed my dogs. The first thing I do is take a shower. I’m staring at myself in the mirror. This is real. I sit in the shower and cry. I felt dramatic lmao. It’s Saturday February 25th 2017 and I’ve been a diabetic for at least five months. I was on syringes till November when I started pens. In December, few days before Christmas, I got my t:slim insulin pump. Man it’s the best thing I’ve gotten since September 26th. If you’re a diabetic looking into getting a pump, I recommend the t:slim. It’s touchscreen and so easy to use. Never in a million years did I expect to get Type 1 diabetes. It doesn’t run in my family and as of now, I’m the only one in my entire family to have it. I’m 17 years old and I’m happy to be alive. Thank you to everyone who’s listened to me complain about my diabetes and who have been there for me at my worst. Thank you for reading. Love y'all.

#type 1 diabetes #diabetes #actually diabetic #personal

2 notes · View notes