#so...ugh..TW! PENIS!!

[gimpy666]

You are attacked my a mob!

Actually I don't like this but I spent a lot of time on it so.. yeah

[just-antithings]

From a well known author who recently came out as a trans man

Good morning! I've spent most of the last week offline because I've had thousands of transphobes flooding all my social media to tell me I'm just a lesbian & will never be a man.

These are the same people who use to say I wasn't a lesbian because my partners are trans women FYI.

And of course there's transphobic comments on this post. A shitload of them actually (massive tw):

Can you explain why you were pretending to be a lesbian? Surely you think it's very wrong for men to appropriate lesbian culture? Which, if you were actually a man, you would have done. When will you apologise to the lesbian community? (a man wrote this btw)

If your partners have a penis and you have a penis.. then you weren't a lesbian.

Dressing like a lesbian doesn’t make you a man. (how tf do you 'dress like a lesbian')

I’m sorry you have internalized homophobia enough to where you transed yourself (from - surprise surprise - a gimmick account whose whole schtick is attacking people who say 'queer')

Make up your mind, first you are heterosexual, then a lesbian and now a man. Honestly no one can take you seriously

You aren’t even a lesbian. You are heterosexual woman with a Troon husband. That didn’t make you Gay. It made you an internet gender grifter who had to keep coming up with queer ways to keep your audience of Queers..

You’re a straight woman married to a crossdressing man, so I would never call you a lesbian, no. (the response to this was "ma'am this is wendy's"/"what if it identifies as pizza hut?" which damn it is much funnier than this crap deserves)

Fucken transphobes. Thank goodness there's some supportive comments mixed in there too (unfortunately pushed down to the bottom because all but one of the above were from someone who paid for a blue checkmark fucking shocker)

Ugh

[deepfriedhopesanddreams]

Another Transformers botbots Box au side story

TW: fire, violence and stuff

Night to know

At the Human allies home, Raven and Mina are preparing for prom. Raven wore a very dark dress and Mina wore a bit of pink. Penz-eye walked out of a room, wearing a simple yellow gown. She looks unenthusiastic about tonight.

The botbots asked and gazed at them, curious about the "Prom Night" that they're having tonight.

Dr Janet: alright everyone, these girls are going to have a prom night, so watch the dress, these cost money

Marcus: I remember my prom night, can't forget that awful fruit punch incident... Fruit punch all over my suit... But I'm sure you girls will have a wonderful prom... Hopefully...

Penz-eye: hmph, I've had prom at least seven times, well, this year is going to be my eighth

Raven: wait you have pro- oh wait yeah, you're older than us

Mina: but why are you coming to this year's prom night?

Penz-eye: because I promised Bryce, I'll be there for him

Hiraya: aren't you worried that... You know...

Penz-eye: Monica has been quiet lately, I'm sure it's fine

Everyone went silent. Suddenly, Bonz-eye came around, holding a corsage.

Penz-eye: a corsage? Bonnie, I already have one

Bonz-eye: I know, I just thought that my corsage would look nice on you

Penz-eye, felt touched by Bonz-eye. She took off her corsage and puts on Bonz-eye's corsage.

Penz-eye: it's perfect

Everyone wanted to help the girls out. Some of the bots styled the girls hairs. Penz-eye had Mother Strongroot trim her leaves.

Mother Strongroot: ugh, can't believe you're having prom in the school gym, sweetie, you had better prom nights at other venues

Penz-eye: mother, it's fine, it's not like there's going to be something bad to happen... Hey Mina, why do you have pink in your dress, it's not your colour

Mina: I just thought a little of Raven's inspiration is nice

Everyone awed. Raven grew serious.

Raven: alright! I got three cameras just in case Monica decides to do something! I'm not letting her ruin this night

Penz-eye: Raven...

Raven: I'm going to set this up around the area and you're not going to stop me

Penz-eye: fine...

They went outside. Rough Ride was waiting for them.

Rough Ride: damn, you look nice!

Raven: thank you!

Marcus: no time to chit chat, we have a prom night venue to reach!

After a short drive, they arrived at the school gym. The girls immediately entered. Raven swiftly moves around and sets the cameras up, out of the other people's view. Sabine was so happy to see them, immediately dragging Mina and Raven away from Penz-eye.

Penz-eye stood around until she saw Bryce. Bryce wore a nice suit. Excited to see her.

Bryce: hey! You actually came!

Penz-eye: yep

Bryce: you look lovely in that yellow gown

Penz-eye: thank you

They chatted for a while, taking a few prom photos, having a few cups of beverages. So far, everything was going so well. Until, the psycho herself, Monica, wearing a fancy red dress and holding unidentified objects in her hand.

Bryce and Penz-eye slowly danced together.

Bryce: hey Peni, I know I said this before but... You're the most wonderful person I've ever met...

Penz-eye: thanks, that means a lo-

Fire burned behind Penz-eye. She howled in agonising pain. Her screams were more than blood curdling, it was beyond human. Everyone froze and feared for the worst. They all saw her, Monica was holding a makeshift flamethrower, Penz-eye was barely holding on in Bryce's arms. He felt petrified, he can't scream, he can't focus. He just held onto Penz-eye.

Monica was about to get closer to Penz-eye, when suddenly, Raven tackled her, Mina followed too. They both had a fight with Monica. Everyone was freaking out. They aimed for the exit. Monica threw her makeshift flamethrower, a lighter attached to a hairspray can, at Raven. Raven dodges it, but the can leaked, causing fire to spread.

Fire grew, people screaming and Bryce was lost. He snapped out of it and checked on Penz-eye. He saw a gaping hole where her back is... Only, he saw this glowing thing, no human organs, and dirt inside... Her hair was also burnt, she smells like burning wood.... What is she...

There was no time, he rushed her out of the building.

The girls continued fighting. They reached the tables. Raven grabbed a fruit punch bowl, and threw it at Monica. Monica did get hit, but she isn't down. Mina sneaks up behind her, knocking her out. The two girls took a moment to breathe, realising that there was still fire.Everyone looks at them, shocked.

Raven: well, I knew this would happen *takes out memory wiper* Mina, get the cameras... And for everyone else... You wouldn't want to remember this... At all...

Raven covers her eyes and points at the disco light, the light from the memory wiper reflected to everyone. Wiping this horrible memory from them. Mina came back with the cameras and was wearing sunglasses, she wasn't affected by the memory wiper.

Raven and Mina immediately ordered everyone to evacuate out of the building. Raven also carries Monica out of the building. Outside, everyone watches as the school gym is in blazes... Raven quickly told them a convincing and less horrifying explanation to everyone, cancelling out the Penz-eye getting burned part. The teachers called the fire fighters and the police.

The fire fighters arrived and put out the fire, the police finally arrested Monica. Raven and Mina looked for Bryce and Penz-eye, they were last seen together earlier. They found them near the road.

Bryce was holding Penz-eye. Quietly. Confused. He heard both Raven and Mina calling out to him. Mina politely asked him, if she could hold her, he didn't say anything, Mina just took Penz-eye away.

Raven was about to wipe his memory, but the human allies arrived, dragging the three girls away.

Raven: wa-wait! I haven't -

Marcus: there's no time! We need to get you out of here, and Penz-eye is hurt!

They drove off. Leaving a confused Bryce standing. Holding onto a corsage. His mother came. She was worried. She called out to him. He looks at her, then at the van that took Penz-eye away, then back at her. And he ran off.

At the human allies home, Dr Janet was tending to Penz-eye in the living room. Everyone was feeling tense and anxious.

Gabby: will she be alright?

Dr Janet: hmm

Mother Strongroot: she definitely needs wires, lots of it

Gabby: I'm on it!

Gabby rushed to the storage room.

Raven: wait... How did you guys get here so fast?

Marcus: you know we can't simply believe this is going to be a normal night, we were around the area... Didn't expect the fire though....

Raven: you know what, I'm actually glad for your intuition

Suddenly a knock on the door was heard. Raven slowly walked towards it and looked through the peephole, seeing Bryce. He was sweaty, panting and desperate on something.

Raven slowly opens the door.

Raven: hey Bryce... Look it's not a good time right now-

He pushed open the door, hitting Raven in the head. He walked towards Penz-eye's unconscious body.

Dr Janet: young man, I can assure you, your friend is going to be fine

Bryce: how is she fine?! She has a gaping hole in her back! And... She's not human...

Dr Janet: indeed...

Bryce: that explains a lot of things... And what is this?...

He looks around, seeing a lot of eyes locked onto him. He doesn't know what to do, does he run? Does he scream... No. He just stares back at them.

Just as Dr Janet covers Penz-eye's back, Penz-eye woke up. Bryce immediately got closer to her.

Bryce: Peni!

Penz-eye: Bryce?! What- what are you doing here?!

Bryce: I... I... You left this...

He shows the corsage to Penz-eye.

Bonz-eye: hey! That's my corsage!

Bryce: gahh! You can talk?!

Penz-eye: Bryce, please stay calm... Everything is fine... But yeah that's not my corsage

Bryce: oh...

He fell silent...

Marcus: kid, are you feeling alright?

Bryce: no... No I'm not...

Penz-eye: I'm sorry that your prom experience had to go this way...

Bryce: I'm more worried about you, there's a... You know

Penz-eye: eh, I'll be fine, this isn't the worst thing to happen to me, which I won't tell you

Bryce sat down next to her. They both looked into each other. And began talking.

Bryce: you really aren't human, but like... What are you?

Penz-eye: I'm a robot/alien/bonsai tree

Bryce: oh...

Penz-eye: yep, you have feelings for a tree

Bryce: well, nature is my thing, but I didn't mean it like that....

Raven: yeah yeah *aims memory wiper at him*

Bryce: wait! I actually want to remember this... I want to know more! I want to know more of these little guys

Female botbots: and girls!

Raven: if you really want to keep this, you gotta keep this our little secret, got it! To protect these botbots!

Bryce: I promise!

Todd: whoo! We got a new member!

Everyone cheered. Gabby arrived with the wires. Confused and shocked to see Bryce.

Marcus: don't worry Gabby, he's alright! He's a new member!

Gabby: oh sweet! Anyways, here's the wires

Dr Janet and Mother Strongroot wrapped the wires around Penz-eye's body.

Dr Janet: this will do... Just don't exert too much

Penz-eye: thank you Dr Janet

Bryce: so, you're awfully calm tonight

Penz-eye: yeah, this is my eighth prom, what a night to know

Bryce: wait! Eighth?!

Penz-eye: yep, I'm way older than you think

Bryce: okay now that I'm in this group... With botbots... You don't have to hide from me right? I can ask questions?

Penz-eye: I won't, and yeah you can

Bryce: so like what are botbots?

Raven: tiny robots that are born by objects or animals merging with a dose of energon

Bryce: are there other members?

Hiraya: yes, a few

Bryce: is Peni your real name?

Penz-eye: nah, it's Penz-eye, Peni is just an alias

Bryce: *chuckle* I think it's cute

Penz-eye: heh thanks

Everyone continued chatting the night away. A breeze of nicer air elevated everyone. Surely, it is a night to know between them.

The End

[in-sonderland]

Ugh once boards and this audition nonsense is over I think I need to get back on apps. I haven’t had actual great sex in so damn long. But also I’m scared I won’t attract anyone I think is attractive because I’m a little bigger than was I was last year around this time. Ugh. I hate my brain.

[laylanatorseventeen]

my body is so

[does a sicc cartwheel]

*~STUPID AND BROKEN~*

[sashi-ya]

hello sashi-ya!! may I pls request a modern nsfw scenario where law and fem reader are friends with benefits and medical students, they are studying together (just the two of them) and something happens😏

Hi darling!! Of course! I included some technical terms hahaha I hope you don't mind!. Enjoy this scenario with our grumpy doctor ♥. Thanks for requesting!! 💖 ~

NSFW ~ Trafalgar D. Water Law x F! Reader ~ Study Session

TW: Nsfw. Explicit. Oral sex. Fingering. Vaginal sex. Getting caught. Medical terms.

WC: 1.1K

“So, the superior mesenteric artery arises from the abdominal aorta, right?” you ask Law, while scanning Yokochi’s Color Atlas of Anatomy. “Yeah, under the origin of the celiac trunk…” he answers.

“Damn nerd, there is nothing you don’t know, right? you watch him, and take a sip of your iced coffee, making annoying sounds he hates. You are done with studying, you are bored. Your roomies have left the place and won’t get back until tomorrow -probably wasted from alcohol-. But Law (your friend with benefits) and you have stayed home because a big test is coming up in a week, so you have to study. But then again, you are bored as hell.

“Stop making those sounds, it gets on my nerves” he protests. “Ahh fine, fine… Why don’t you tell me something about the Dorsal Vein of the Penis, huh?” you tease him, arching your eyebrows acting all sexy -and cringey-. “What do you wanna know about it? Where it drains? The internal pudendal vein, you dummy” he says, like a smartass.

“You kidding me, right?”. Your annoyed face communicates Law you were asking jokingly. “Oh…” he says. Law might be all passionate and kinky when fucking, but he does not catch any hint when he is focus on studying. “No, I wasn’t asking where it drains Law. But, considering you know too much, why don’t you show me where it is located, huh?”. He immediately, acting like the nerd he is, stretches over the table to snatch your anatomy atlas, but you take it away. “Oh no, no. I want the true anatomy model…” Of course you know where that vein is located, you know it really well…

“Are you… I mean, you want me to?” he asks, all serious. “Uhum, show me” you say, repressing your laugh. “Fine, you know it drains the gland tissue. In my case it is not that notorious, because it’s located under subcutaneous tissue” he says while lowering the zipper of his jeans. A giggle escapes your mouth, how is he not realizing you don’t really give a shit about anatomy right now?...

He takes out his member, hard as hell. Law holds it with his hand and approaches you. “See… it should be right here…” he says. You open your mouth, you are dumbfounded. Sure you have fucked before, but why is he acting so natural?

“Why don’t you come closer and suck the hell out my dick so you can see the damn vein (Name)-ya?” he suddenly says, jerking up and down his shaft. “You son of a bitch…” you tell him, laughing out loud. He was playing along the whole time.

Right there, in the middle of the living room you kneel down and start choking with his delicious sex. The salty taste of the precum, how his tip sometimes hits your uvula making you gag, making him grunt. “Did you find the damn vein already?” he asks, smirking sexily. “Mhh... no…” you say, muffled by the dick on your mouth. “Keep sucking then, you might find it…” he laughs, and you carve your nails on his strong hips.

“Stand up, let me study some gyno with you” he says, and helps you stand up. Law turns you around, making you bend over the table -and the books-. Your -friend- quickly takes your jeans down, sliding your panties down too. Yet, the black lace remains at the height of your knees, making your legs be pressed together.

“So wet…” he says, while playing all over your labia with the juices of your arousal. Up and down, from your clit to your entrance. Your face pressed against the anatomy book Chopper lent you. Book that would probably end up at least a little bit scratched by the time he ends up with you.

“Let me make you a takt, ok?” he whispers in your ear. “Sure, doc” you say, biting your lip. His inked middle finger goes in, he twists his wrist making you moan. He does it so good… he knows exactly where to touch for sure, the advantages of fucking with a medicine nerd.

Another finger inside, and this time, with beckoning motion, he fingers you up and down, violently, hitting your G spot. Your belly pressed against the table makes everything better. Law’s hand and forearm getting wet by your squirting fluids. “Such a good patient you are” he says, while pulling your head back from your hair, as you come. Biting your lip, you look at him so satisfied, and he does it with a lascivious smile… fucking sex god.

“Oh, I think there is a way for you to find the said vein, (Name)-ya” he says, and you try to remember what vein he is talking about. “Oh… the dorsal one?” you ask, while your breathing gets back to normal. Law has you still pinned against the table -and the books- with his hand on your back. “Uhum, you may be lucky and feel it while I’m pumping inside you” he says, and soon you feel the tip of his dick slowly entering into you.

“Damn it, nerd” you say as he is now deep inside you, stretching your twitching walls. The way your knees are pressed together by your panties, makes your cave extra tight. The way his dick feels, trying to force its way into your walls. So good for you, so good for him.

“Ugh babe, so tight for me…” he moans as he fucks you so good. His hips doing magic in and out, around, deep so deep.

But let’s be honest, who would fuck in the middle of the living room of a house that is not only yours? Probably only you…

“Name!!”, “Law!!”. “I KNEW IT, Usopp you owe me a hundred…”, “Torao what are you doing?”. “Fucking grumpy emo, how are you fucking her??!”, “Where is the booze guys?”. “Ah, so you do this instead of studying! My books!!” “Hahaha”, “SUUUUUUUPER hentaaai”. “Yohohoho Torao-San!”

All of your friends are of course looking at you getting fucked, messed over Chopper’s books. Law’s grey eyes widen, you immerse into the book pages to hide your face. Law stops fucking you, but he doesn’t move. He is frozen, you are too.

“Come on guys, let the love birds finish what they’ve started, please” says Nami, pushing everyone out of the room. “We came here to make you some company instead of partying, Torao!!” says Luffy, trying to understand what the fuck was happening. “Come on, Luffy…”

“Well, at least, did you find the damn vein?” Law asks you.

“Not yet, let me continue looking for it in my room…” You tell him, while pulling from his shirt to follow you upstairs… ♥ ~

[stardustprompts]

be more chill soundtrack   sentence starters change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying tw :  language ,  nsfw ,  drugs ,  alcohol / underage drinking ,  mental health

‘if I'm not feeling weird or super strange my life would be in utter disarray 'cause freaking out is my okay.’

‘ ugh, god, I wish I had the skill to just be fine and cool and chill.’

‘I don't wanna be special, I just wanna survive.’

‘no time to wallow, no, instead, just clear your brain and move ahead.’

‘if I continue at this rate the only thing I'll ever date is my macbook pro hard drive.’

‘how was class? you look like ass. what's wrong?’

‘I saw on discovery that humanity has stopped evolving!’

‘evolution is survival of the fittest, right? but now, because of technology, you don't have to be strong to survive which means there's never been a better time in history to be a loser!’

‘I am not the one who the story's about.’

‘if this was an apocalypse I would not need any tips in how to stay alive.‘

‘I love play rehearsal and I get depressed as soon as it's done.’

‘I am passionate a lot! I have mad, gigantic feelings, red and frantic feelings about most everything!’

‘life is easy in rehearsal, you follow a script so you know what comes next.’

‘anywho, the point that I'm getting to is sometimes life can't work out in the way it works out in the play.’ 

‘most humans do one thing for all of their lives. the thought of that gives me hives.’

‘why am I telling this to you? guess there's a part of me that wants to.’

‘my brain is like "bzzz", my heart is like "wow"’

‘freshman year I didn't have a girlfriend or a clue. I was a loser just like you.’

‘my little penis was depressed, he was so lonely. poor guy.’ 

‘so ... it's like ... drugs?’

‘picture this: your weekend's just a full on slate of blowout benders, of teenage rockstar splendor.’ 

‘right now you're helpless, you are almost hopeless.’ 

‘dude, you are cooler than a vintage cassette, it's just that no one else but me thinks that yet.’

‘it's no big, 'cause you and I are a team.’

‘nobody here appreciates but soon we'll be together where they do ... 'cause guys like us are cool in college.’

‘high school is hell, but we navigate it well 'cause what we do, is we make it a two-player game.’

‘as losers, we have fought together for years, both nintendo zombies and our popular peers ... now we’re stuck on a level, and I wanna move on.’ 

‘high school is whack, but we have each other's back.’

‘you know that you are my favorite person.’

‘is it really true? i'm your favowite person?‘

‘if I assist you will be more chill.’

‘so, do you wanna ride?’

‘home in a snatch, only one catch: we gotta stop for frozen yogurt first.’

‘soon you'll see that if you listen to me, everything about you is going to be wonderful!’

‘I might be the one who the story's about, now that someone's helping me out.’ 

‘you're used to thinking about him in a certain way,  and then something changes. and he changes from a guy that you'd never be into, into a guy that you'd kinda be into.’

‘I don't always relate to other people my age.’

‘I guess a part of me likes to talk to you.’

‘yeah, that guy that I'd kinda be into is ...  (name).‘

‘your life was so pitiful before, now it's time to go all the way.’

‘don't worry about the guilt you feel, just take a breath and seal the deal.’

‘my parents won't be home so its alright. they laundered money, now they're on the run.’

‘never hung with a girl like you before. I don't know if you know it but I am sure that, for me, you are an upgrade.’ 

‘to upgrade you must be willing to make sacrifices.’

‘I don't wanna be special I just wanna be chill as life will allow.’ 

‘a halloween party's a rad excuse to put your body through mad abuse.’

‘well, I might pass out, but it's alright 'cause I'm halloween partying hard tonight!’

‘i've had sex in pretty much every room in this house.’

‘do you wanna hang for a bit? just you and me, intimately talking about all of our feelings and shit.’

‘I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall.’

‘I could stay right here or disappear and nobody'd even notice at all.’

‘everything felt fine when I was half of a pair.’

‘he's out there just ignoring all our history.’

‘it sucks he left me here alone, here in this teenage battlezone.’

‘my big mistake was showing up.’

‘and I can't help but yearn for a different time.’

‘it's to fucked to type this shit. it's ripe, call back, I'll yell you every word.’

‘it's just so terrible I don't want to relive it all.’ 

‘(name) set a fire and he burned down the house.’ 

‘it's just so awful, so I'll talk about it a lot.’

‘when you love somebody you put your pants on for them.’

‘if the road gets muddy focus on the goal 'till the rough stuff's gone.’

‘if the fight gets bloody just keep pushing through 'till the pain is gone.’

‘you are the person I want to be with every day.’

‘naw, man! you tell her that she excites you sexually.’

‘there are voices all around and you can never mute the sound.’ 

‘it's embarrassing-  to find out, deep down I just want things to be easy.’

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Heeyy!! For the event can i request

Inui Seishu(Tokyo Revengers)+ Zombie+ NSFW

Dismembered: Inui Seishu x Fem!Reader

wc: 635

tw: fluff (because getting a zombie penis stuck in your cooch ain't it lol)

2K Event Masterlist: Monster Mash

"How's everything going over there? I haven't heard from you in almost three months!" Your mom is on the other end of the phone, holding it up to her ear as she probably does the laundry or some domestic chore.

"Um..." You look over to the zombie sleeping on the couch, his eyes closed in the sunlight. "Remember that zombie virus that hit a while back?"

"Oh, yeah," your mother answers confidently.

"Well, Inupi ended up getting it."

"Isn't Inupi your ex?" Her question is valid, but you shrug.

"He came to my door looking for brains. I told him 'no' but that he could come inside and have one of the chickens in the backyard."

"What about the morgue?" she wonders innocently.

"You really think the morgue will allow me to have brains so he can eat?" you laugh. "He's fine with the chickens."

_____________________________________________________________

Inupi is not fine with the chickens.

While at the morgue, you're in the middle of pumping a body with formaldehyde when you hear a door slam and something glass rattle around. You check your watch - it's only 11:26 am - and note that your co-worker wouldn't be in until around 1 pm. So, who could be here?

You remove your gloves and trash them as you walk toward the door, opening it just as you see the scarred zombie ambling in it's direction.

"Inui!" you hiss, eyes widening. The zombie mutters an "mmmmm" before speeding his gait up, trying to get past you to the dead body on the table. "Inui, what the fuck are you doing here?" You shut the door behind you, much to his dismay, and he drops his shoulders, mouth slumping into a pout. His blonde hair hangs limply against his peeling forehead, but you still find it in your heart to see the man you'd known not too long ago. Even though his blue eyes are dull, and he can barely get out a few moans and grunts as communication, you can still see the Inui you once knew.

"Unnhhhh." Move.

"No. That body has formaldehyde in it," you retort.

"Unh." So?

"So; it'll hurt you." Inupi gives one more grunt, his brows furrowing. "Stop being childish. You can't have the bodies here."

The whine he emits is nothing short of bratty, but you sigh, looking around the empty hallway as if you'll find another dead body somewhere.

"We can wait for the hospital to transport a new body. But I have to make sure it's suitable for you to eat."

The next hours are spent with Inui hanging around the morgue, his eyes glazing over at the sight of so many dead bodies.

"Ahh?" What's this?

"Don't touch that," you murmur, looking at him for a moment then looking away. "Or that."

"Ugh." Seconds later, you hear a soft crunch and your head snaps over to see Inupi stooping down to pick up his hand.

"Oh, shit," you hiss, grabbing the dismembered limb. "I'll help you with this."

"Unnnnhh." Thanks.

_____________________________________________________________

"Hey," you whisper, pushing open Inupi's bedroom door. "You alright?"

"Mmm." Yeah.

After a long day at the morgue and two new bodies showing up to be cremated, you offered him the brains as an offering, and he took them gladly, shuffling off to some corner to eat them happily. You drove him home as he recovered from his food coma, chastising him about walking along the highway for so long in the hot sun, but he could barely hear you past the sound of his mind cranking to the thought of maybe getting more brains soon.

"I brought you some clothes." Inui flashes you a smile in the dark, his teeth still shiny and bright like they were when you met him. "I love you."

"Luhhh." Love you, too.

[your-nerd-is-showing]

AOT Hanji x Fem Reader: Experimenting with Dildos erm Weapons!

You’re Hanji's best friend and experiment partner who is completely in love with Hanji but you’re terrified that she doesn’t feel the same way. One day you end up making some rather questionable looking items…. You get the brilliant idea to make a joke about these phallic looking weapons and Hanji takes it to the next level.

Content: Smut

TW: Just my gayness coming out to say hello, use of toys, oral sex (giving and receiving), slight orgasm control/denial, Hanji and her smug ass xD

NSFW AFTER PHOTO

It was early morning and you were sitting in the office you shared with Hanji working on a new compact weaponry for the Scouts. You inspected your work of these shells you were creating for the boom sticks. “This is all wrong!” You yelled in frustration as you threw the shell on your desk. “Ugh!” You ran your hands through your long (H/C) hair.

“What’s wrong?” Asked a voice from behind making you jump.

“HANJI DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!” You shouted as you held your chest.

“I’m sorry (Y/N) I didn’t mean to scare you.” She laughed.

“Hey that’s not funny you could’ve given me a heart attack!” You said in a huff.

“Okay, okay I'm really, really sorry…. Now why are you all upset pretty girl?” She asked as she placed her arm around you leaning in close.

You turned red as Hanji leaned in closer, the sweet intoxicating smell of her lavender shampoo invaded your nostrils as stray pieces of her wet hair brushed against your cheek. “I-it’s these stupid weapons I feel like the design is all wrong.” You held up one of the shells and it was a rather questionable looking metal tube.

“Well it is rather interesting looking.” She chuckled.

“You mean it looks like a penis?” You laughed with Hanji.

“Exactly! But I wasn’t going to say that!”

You turned away from Hanji laughing because you had a funny idea. You sneakily grabbed one of the shells and unzipped your pants sticking the shell out of the hole. You turned around. “Hey baby you wanna give him a stroke he really likes you!” You said in a low tone trying to sound like a guy.

Hanji raised an eyebrow and started to laugh. “Mmmmmmm why yes I would love to!” She said winking at you as she stepped closer and grabbed your ‘penis' while wrapping her arm around you. She smiled as she ran her hand along the smooth metal shaft pushing it between your legs.

You looked at her your face becoming redder by the second as she got dangerously close to your crotch. You could feel your skin get warm as your palms became sweaty and your heart was beating faster and faster. “H-Hanji wh-what are you doing?” You squeaked out as she pushed the shaft in more turning you on. “Hanji?” You bit your lip as you stifled a moan trying to escape.

She looked at you seeing the immense pleasure on your face. “Hm?”

“Wh-what are you doing?” You wined out tilting your head back as she moved the metal tube making it graze against your clit, a small moan escaping your lips. You let out a gasp when you felt Hanji's hand replace the metal tube between your legs. “H-Ha-Hanji! W-wh-what a-are y-yo-you d-doingggggg! Ohhhhh!” You moaned louder as she gently massaged outside your panties making your knees shake. You held onto her shoulders as she pressed her palm against your clit giving you some friction as your hips bucked uncontrollably. “Hanji!” You looked at her, she was completely entranced by how you reacted when she touched you. You took her face in your hand making Hanji look at you. “E-earth to Hanji? Y-you in there?”

She looked at you with her beautiful brown eyes. “Sorry yes I am here!” She laughed nervously. “And I think you know what I am doing (Y/N).” Hanji leaned in to kiss you as she unbuttoned your pants and slid her hand in your panties earning a sweet moan from you as she rubbed your clit. She broke the kiss and laid you down onto your desk. “I see the way you look at me (Y/N).”

You looked at Hanji shocked.

“What? You didn’t think I noticed? My darling (Y/N) you’re so cute when you look surprised.” Hanji smirked at you. “Lucky for you pretty girl.” She pulled down your pants and panties. “I like women and I really like you.” She leaned in kissing you once more.

You entangled your hands in Hanji's auburn hair wildly attacking her lips as she continued to rub your clit, making you moan into her mouth. Instantly you invaded her mouth with your tongue exploring every corner. Suddenly you felt cold metal press against your wetness, you broke the kiss. “Um Hanji are you thinking about using that on me?”

“Yes I was, why you don’t want me to?” She asked.

“Well I mean you can but, I have better things to use.” You said shyly.

“Oh? Do you now?” She asked raising an eyebrow.

“Y-yes…..” You squeaked. “L-let’s go to m-my room.” You said nervously as you sat up.

“Love bug why are you so nervous?” She grabbed your waist pulling you into her arms.

“I n-never dreamed that t-this would ha-happen, so I’m a l-little shocked st-st-still.” You took a deep breath in composing yourself. “Okay to my room!” You pulled your pants up and took Hanji's hand leading her to your room. You locked the door and instantly Hanji was stripping your clothes off. “H-Hanji!” You moaned out as she pulled your pants off again and rubbed your clit.

She leaned into your neck gently nipping at it. “Mmmmmm yes love bug?”

You wrapped your arms around Hanji groping her butt, she looked at you.

“Now where are these toys you have?” She asked while playing with your nipple.

“They're over there in my closet in a wooden box.”

“Show me.” She grabbed your hips pushing you towards the closet, you leaned down to get the box and Hanji smacked your ass while she inserted two fingers making you whimper. “F-fuck you’re so tight (Y/N).” Hanji grunted as she thrusted her fingers in and out of you. “I love it….” She smacked your ass again.

“A-ahhhhh Hanjiiiiii!” You moaned out as she pushed you over to the bed and laid you down.

“Now lets see what you have in here my darling.” Hanji said smiling at you, she opened the box and her eyes widened in excitement. “My, my, my you certainty have a lot of spare time to have all of these.” She said smugly.

“I made all of those…..” You said shyly.

“Well I kind of guessed that.” Hanji started to go through the box. “What is this?” She picked up a metal tube with a black knob on the end.

“Turn the knob and find out.” You said smugly, she did so and it started to vibrate.

“Ooooooooh I like this one!” Hanji took the vibrator and held it to your clit making your eyes roll into the back of your head.

“F-fuck H-Hanji.” You groaned.

“Oooooh what’s this?” She asked holding up a rubber dildo with a fat round base and a pair of odd looking underwear with a hole cut out.

“Well you put that through the hole in the underwear strap it on and bam you have a penis!” You laughed.

“What in the world made you make these?”

“I-I was hoping we could use them on each other some day.” You said shyly.

“Wait have you ever used any of these?” She asked as she pulled out another dildo.

“The one you’re holding is the only one I’ve ever used.”

“Ohhhh this is going to be a lot of fun!” She said getting excited. “Now I have a question for you.” You looked up at her. “Are you a virgin?”

“No I am not….. I had a drunk hook up with Levi once….. I didn’t like it too much that’s what made me realize that I liked girls…. To be honest he was kind of scary even naked.” You laughed.

“Wait you hooked up with Levi!?” Hanji asked astounded. “I didn’t think shorty had it in him! I’m impressed.”

“You ready to be more impressed? I took the Captain’s virginity.”

“NO WAY!”

You smirked and nodded. “Indeed I did.... Honestly I think he used me for practice because he was soon dating Aurora after that but I'm not holding it against him…. She can have his crazy ass.” You laughed.

Hanji laughed too. “Yea he is pretty crazy, but enough about shorty. Let’s have some fun pretty girl.” She cooed as she went down on you.

“F-fuck H-Hanji!” You wined out as she nibbled on your clit making your hips buck. You grabbed her soft auburn hair tugging on it as she swirled her tongue around. “Ohhhhhh!” You moaned as Hanji took the vibrator thrusting it in and out of you. You felt the knot tighten in your stomach, your breathing became heavier squirming beneath Hanji as she pushed the vibrator in deeper. “H-Ha-Hanjiiiii I'm go-go-going to cummmmm!” You howled.

“No you’re not allowed to yet.” She said smugly as she pulled the vibrator out of you right before you hit your climax.

You laid there in a daze trying to comprehend what had just happened. “W-what the hell?” You grumbled.

“(Y/N) don’t worry you’ll have the best orgasm of your life. I just don’t want you cumming…. Yet.”

You looked at her with pleading eyes. “But Hanji I can cum more than once.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh can you now? Hmmmm well that does change things.” Hanji grabbed your dildo and slowly inserted it making you go crazy as she swirled her tongue around your clit.

You grinded against her face as she went deeper and deeper, instantly making you cum and gush into her mouth. “Ohhhhhh f-fu-fuckkkkkk Hanjiiiiii!” You screamed out in pleasure as you rode out your first orgasm.

Hanji came up and kissed you deeply as she ran her hands all over your soft supple skin pulling you in closer. “I love how sensitive you are love bug, I barely did anything to you and you’re already a puddle.” She said smugly.

You looked up at her giving her a shy smile as your hands traveled down unbuttoning her pants. Slowly you slid your hand into Hanji's panties gently massaging her clit making her tremble at your touch. “Oh? Do you like that Hanji?” You smirked as you watched Hanji's face.

“Y-yesss!” She wined out as you pushed a couple fingers inside her. “F-fuck (Y/N).” Hanji slowly moved her hips as she rode your fingers.

“Why don’t you lay down and let me have some fun Hanji?” You removed your fingers from between her legs.

She looked at you through half-lidded eyes and nodded.

You gently pushed Hanji onto the bed and unbuttoned her shirt. You unhooked her bra, gently playing with one nipple while your mouth sucked on the other one, Hanji squirmed beneath you. You ran steamy kisses down her torso, making her shiver. You looked up at Hanji smiling as you pulled down her pants. “Why hello there.” You cooed as you took off her panties and started rubbing her clit.

“Ohhhhhh (Y-Y/N-N)!” Hanji moaned out as you slipped a couple fingers inside her. “F-fuck.”

“Hanji you’re so wet.” You cooed as you continued to finger her. “Hanji can I use the strap-on, on you?”

She looked at you all excited. “Ohhhh yes you can!”

You got up to put the strap-on together putting the dildo through the hole and strapping it so it doesn’t fall out. You repositioned yourself between Hanji's legs, slowly inserting the dildo making Hanji moan out loudly.

“F-fuck (Y/N)!” She screamed out in pleasure as you went deeper. You adjusted her legs to get better leverage going even deeper pounding into Hanji harder and harder. “Oh fuck baby girl just like that!”

“Yea? You like that?” You cooed as you spread her lips and massaged her clit.

“Oh fuck yes (Y/N)! I'm-I'm gonna cuuuummmmm!” She moaned out.

“Aweee so soon?” You pouted.

“I’m sorry its been a while since I’ve been with anyone….”

“Well why don’t we change that?”

~End

[ace-thinks]

(tw sexual assault) hi I could use some advice. or maybe really just need to vent. both i guess. ever since I told my roommate I’m asexual she’s been asking me a ton of questions about my sexuality and how I experience sexual attraction and at first I thought it was cool that she was interested but it is way to much now. I mean I know for me it’s really a lack of a sex life, but it’s still my “sex life” and that’s private/personal! and part of my asexuality is that I hate talking/thinking about sex. Today she asked me if I’ve ever seen a penis before which is honestly so wildly inappropriate?? Like if I had never revealed that I’m ace, I don’t think she ever would have asked me that. Not to mention the answer to that question is ‘yes when I was sexually assaulted’ and I certainly don’t feel comfortable talking about that. I just feel so gross having all these questions directed at me. I’m proud of being ace, but it’s also nobody’s business. I regret telling her and idk how to take it back or set boundaries or tell her it’s inappropriate. do you have any advice on how to navigate this? thanks so much 💜🖤🤍

That sounds really hard, I’m sorry you’re going through that right now. 

It’s hard for me to offer really solid advice since I don’t know what kind of dynamic you have with your roommate, but I can try.

Passive Advice

As someone who generally dislikes/avoids conflict with friends, here are some methods I’ve used in the past to get a point across passively.

Talk about how invasive/annoying someone else is being. Something like, “Ugh ever since I told so-and-so I’m ace they keep asking me questions about it. It was cool at first but I actually really hate talking about sex and now I just wish they’d stop.”

As you tell your friend about it, make the details as similar as possible to the actual situation without being suspicious. Use that venting session as a way to say how you really feel. The goal is for your friend to get the hint or maybe even say something like “Oh, wait does it bother you when I do it too?” 

Talk about how awkward/uncomfortable someone else’s conversation was. Something like, “I just saw this video/tiktok/post etc. where they were talking all about sex and idk how they do it. I actually really hate when people ask me about sex. It makes me so uncomfortable, etc,”

Very similar to the first tactic. The hope is that your friend gets the hint.

Make a half-joke the next time she does it. The next time your friend hits you with an invasive question, half-jokingly say something like, “Okay, this is the last question. After this, we’re never talking about it again.” 

Try to find a balance between being lighthearted enough that it’s not aggressive, but serious enough that your friend realizes you’re done talking about it. This could also make an opportunity for your friend to be like “Oh, was I asking too many questions?” And then if you want, you can sincerely explain how you’ve been feeling, etc.

Direct Advice

Tell her the truth. It could be hard, but the next time she asks you a question about it you can say something like, “I actually don’t really want to talk about that anymore.” Explain your feelings and if you want, you can direct her to online resources where she can still get her questions answered. 

The tone of your voice will determine how confrontational this approach feels.

If you want to take the direct approach, it could be helpful to run through it in your head a few times before hand. Think about how you want to express yourself, etc. 

That way when the moment comes, you’ll at least have an idea of how you want it to go.

__________

That’s all I got for now. Hopefully some of this is useful or inspires you to come up with even better ideas.

Good luck!

[avengerscompound]

Is it weird that I’m just really creeped out by Sharon and Steve being together. Like it have never made sense to me, and her being Peggy’s niece just makes the whole thing really weird to me. And in the movies it feels so forced. Am I alone in this? Does any of this actually make sense? I don’t even know.

Okay, so the thing is, the reason you feel that way is actually really good.  When we think about Steve and Peggy, we think about his great lost love story.  The woman he fell for and wanted a life with and then lost.  In our heads they’re in the same place as Tony and Pepper who are getting married and naming children they may have in the future.

It’s normal to think, well if Sharon is Peggy’s niece she is also Steve’s niece.  And if we think about uncles and nieces we think about adult men being part of a community raising little girls.  Certainly, if my husband left me and married my niece that would be really horribly gross because we had her living with us when she was an infant.  He changed her diapers.  It would be incestual even though they aren’t related and that girl is now 20 years old.

Uncles and Nieces have three things that are usually big nos.  Massive age difference, their power dynamics are off and they’re related.

The thing is, Steve and Sharon aren’t uncle and niece.  They aren’t any of the things listed above.  Steve knew Peggy for around 4 years from memory.  In that time they went from being interested to possibly doing a version of dating they could do.  But they didn’t even actually date.  He died before they could even dance together.  Did they fall in love?  Yes.  Would they have had all the things Pepper and Tony are getting?   Most likely.  But after Steve went in the ice she moved on.  She dated.  She had a career.  Got married.  Had kids.  Sharon saw her Aunt Peggy with her actual uncle and her actual cousins.  Steve Rogers for a long time to Sharon was the celebrity crush she had thanks to Peggy showing her videos and pictures of a man she used to know.  Which was what she only ever said to her.

Steve didn’t raise Sharon.  He didn’t even know she existed.  When he knew Peggy, Sharon didn’t exist.  He didn’t even know that was Peggy’s niece until after Peggy had died and he already had gotten that little crush that had him ask her out in the first place.

They aren’t a massive age difference.  I mean, yeah technically.  But Steve had only lived roughly the same amount of years as Sharon had when he met her.  They worked in the same job.  And when there was a balance of power issue, despite having a huge fucking crush on Steve Rogers, Sharon turned him down because she was lying to him.  They didn’t start anything until they were on equal footing.

So it’s actually not at all creepy.  It would be the same as kinda dating a girl in high school and kissing one time.  Only to then end up marrying their cousin you met 5 years later not realizing they were related.

Being forced into the MCU, fuck yes you are correct.  It was actually planned for them to be more slow burn like Pepper and Tony.  However, they ended up scrapping Sharon’s original role that would have allowed that in TWS and replacing her with Nat. And then that kiss scene didn’t originally exist in CW.  They added it in later because the first viewing came out seeming very gay and Disney was unhappy.  They did reshoots after that were absolutely the under the bridge one.  And if you look at how Chris and Emily talk about the relationship in the press it went from ‘oh it’s going to be so slow, they want to do this right’ to ‘ugh right’.

But then... Clint got a whole wife and kids out of the blue so I’m not sure the MCU is that great with Het Romantic relationship building, to be honest.  They expect us to go penis + vagina = love when we say so.  So I am kinda over people pointing at Steve and Sharon and going boo... when there’s a tonne of examples that’s true for.

Also, it’s kinda shitty how much Sharon specifically gets hate for the kiss when it was Steve that initiated it.

[x-soapbox-x]

TW for transphobia, gender essentialism etc but I took a screen shot of this post instead of reblogging it bc I don't want to interact with this person...but this post popped up in a lot of people's "based on your likes!"

Of course, I was like "wtf??" bc as my mutuals know like. We respect trans identities here, sir?? And as far as I know I've never liked or reblogged anything nasty. And while I've heard a lot about the kind of rhetoric terfs use and the way they link biological sex and behavior as being tied to one another, I've never actually gone into terf spaces and read what they write. I've heard and seen sound bites, but this in all honesty shocked and disgusted me. I was thankful to see in the notes people being equally appalled. But it also got me thinking about gender essentialism. You hardly can avoid it with phrases like "male criminality" and "male sexual aggression". Like even without being a terf, this kind of standpoint about men being inherently "worse" then women is common within progressive circles and it's an insidious thing that worms it's way into your worldview. Men are gross and violent and stupid. Ew, men.

Like, this kind of viewpoint effected me personally. Im a gender nonconforming bisexual woman and im dating a cis man. And I'll admit that I struggled with seeing him as a fully complete person underneath his assigned gender when we first got together. But the thing is, is that all men and all women are human first. And I feel like you can't really grasp that unless you let go of the idea that gender is essential and dictates ANY traits absolutely. Humans are sometimes criminals, when they are desperate. All humans like to feel loved and praised, enjoy certain sensations, feel heartbroken and jealous and wrathful, sorrow and joy. We all shit. To put any of these things or the behaviors caused by them as being like. A property?? Of any one gender is just. It's just incorrect?? And restrains your world view and most importantly your empathy and ability to understand another person. (This is why I think gender exploration is important on any kind of journey of self discovery, even one where you find out you're cis).

I think it's more useful and realistic to view gender as more of a social class. Like, "men" as a social class *are* more violent then the other social groups because of the conditioning that is given to the people within that social class and the expectations of that social class that pressure the people within it to conform to the expected violent and gross/dumb behavior. But just like every woman is not elegance embodied, individual men are not inherently more likely to be good or bad or smart or kind then anyone else is inherently more likely to be.

And I just think this is important to keep in mind because while it is often very funny, and it is technically punching up, it is also dehumanizing. Like do men need to unlearn the systems of behavior that have been impressed upon them since birth bc those behaviors are harmful and oppressive? Yes! But so does everyone. We are all conditioned to be racist, sexist, phobic scared people that see our neighbors as the other and less human then we are. Men are half of the population.

By linking gender and biological sex and expected behavior so strongly, it makes a world view where trans people exist impossible. It makes a world where trans woman are benign and normal even more impossible because it is impossible for anyone with a penis to be innocent. Except that's stupid because having a penis doesn't mean anything about you as a person, not your personality or your desires, not even your gender!!! And like I KNOW that everyone here knows this, I know I'm just explaining something that's obvious unless you've been brainwashed or never thought about it but. I just!!! I feel like. Ugh I don't know I guess this whole thing doesn't really even have a point other then me breaking down why gender essentialism is fucking stupid if you want any kind of real change or to be able to exist in the world with the real population of all kinds of people who can be your friends!! And your community!! If you just get over the fact that a person's genitals doesn't dictate who they are, girl dick or boy dick it doesn't determine shit!!!!!

[rainbowglittr]

Love and Marriage - Chapter 5 (Mature - Minors DNI)

Description:

After a loss in the family uncovers a family secret, Jaleia and her husband Jesse are forced to balance one family crisis after another along with their budding careers and their plans to expand their family. Will the pressure to keep everyone else together ruin their own relationship? Can ruined relationships be fixed before it’s too late?

TW: Smut (Implied)

Chapter 5:

The past two weeks since Jesse's dad's passing had been crazy. Turns out the guy who killed Jesse's father was some young dumb rich 23 year old white kid. He was bailed out almost immediately, and didn't appear to have any remorse for what he did. Which pissed Jesse off a lot. The same idiot got arrested for a DUI and driving without a license shortly after being bailed out. And still claimed that he wasn't high the night of the accident. The trial was a few months away.

Aiesha decided that she was going to sell their home and downsize since it would only be her and Diana. So once her and Jesse and his siblings figured out what to do with all of her husband's stuff, she started to prepare for selling it. Diana, maybe because she was the youngest, was having the hardest time dealing with the loss. She was currently staying with me and Jesse because she couldn't sleep at home, and everything reminded her of her dad. At any mention of her father she would shut down and refuse to talk. Jesse was doing much better and spent of lot of time helping his mom with the move and all the stuff she had to do. His siblings stayed for as long as they could, but they had jobs to get back to.

I, on the other hand stayed far away from Aiesha, her hatred of me did not dissipate during this time, and quite frankly might've intensified. I don't know why but the first time I tried to help out with Jesse, she screamed at me about a box of her husband's things I moved-after she told me to move it. After that I tried to cook her dinner, she took one bites and threw the rest in the garbage in my face. So to avoid obvious conflicts or my temper, me and Jesse decided that I would not go back to the house until his mother was in a better place. I honestly didn't mind, and not being there meant I could spend time with Diana.

Jesse on the other hand was getting better. He had his good days, and he had his rough days, where he was moody and cranky. But overall he was doing well. He usually worked at the studio in New York, writing and producing songs. But because he didn't have to physically be there, for the last two weeks he worked at home, if he worked at all. Best part about his job is that he didn't have to work everyday to collect his royalties. The studio pays him to create songs for their artists or they sell them to other labels, but either way he gets paid upfront and royalties. And he gets to work with celebrities every now and then.

It was 6:30am and my alarm had just went off after I hit snooze. I was about to hit it again when Jesse said "If you hit that snooze button again, you're going to be late."

"So?"

"Jaleia."

"Jesse."

"Fine be late."

I sighed, and cut the alarm off.

"Hey Jess, we never talked about it but, are we still trying for a baby? I know that it's been crazy and everything and I understand if you don't want to."

"Jaleia, nothing is going to stop me from getting you pregnant."

"Are you sure it's not too much for you? What if things don't work out? Can you handle that?"

"Jay, I want this. I really do. Stop worrying. You gotta get to work."

I turned and faced Jesse. "Can I at least get a kiss?"

"Morning breath."

"So?"

"If you don't care, I don't care." He moved closer and kissed me. I pulled him closer and kissed him again our lips moving slowly against each other.

"JAY ARE YOU IN THE BATHROOM YET?" Diana yelled, banging on our bedroom door, the noise was so sudden it scared the hell out of us and we both jumped and our heads smacked together.

"Fuck!" Jesse said, jumping out of bed, holding his lip. "You bit me!"

I grabbed my forehead where Jesse's head hit mine. "Sorry, she scared me. I didn't even know. Is it bleeding? I'm sorry. Let me see."

I walked over to him. I took his hand off his face. It was bleeding a little and already starting to swell.

"How da hell do ya bite someone while kisshing?" He said.

"I don't know I jumped, I didn't bite you on purpose. Wash it and let me see." I leaned to kiss him again and he moved back.

"What? You want a bite of my cheek too?"

I rolled my eyes. "Just rinse your lip!"

He walked past me and flashed me a grin and I walked to the door of our room. I looked out and heard the shower going. We only had one shower in the house. We didn't have a master bathroom, so we only had one shower. We had two bathrooms yet only one shower. It was one of our only complaints about the house. I turned around and laughed, Jesse's lip was even more swollen since I saw it thiry seconds ago.

"Don't lawf, ya did dis."

"I'm sorry, let me see. It's not bleeding anymore, and its not deep. Just ice it and it should go down." I said, checking the hallway again.

"Danks." His lisp was kept making me laugh.

"Staab, lawfing at me, I gotta dake Diana da gool."

"I'm sorry, it's too funny. But, I'll make it to you later. I promise." I winked at him before I walked out the room.

>>>>>>>>>>

"Jess, what happened to your lip?" Diana asked at breakfast. Me and Jesse looked at each other as he put down the bag of frozen peas he was holding to his lip. I looked at the eggs on my plate while Jesse stared me down.

"Um it's your faul actually. Who scheams at six thity in da mornin?"

"I didn't know if you were up yet!"

"Doe yell?"

"Sorry!" Diana said shrugging. I laughed at them.

"Come on it's time for school, I'll see you later. Love you both." I said. I went to kiss Jesse and he backed up and said "no teef dis dime?"

"Keep fucking playing with me Jess." I said, sticking up my middle finger before we kissed.

"Ooooooohhhhhh." Diana and Jesse said.

"Sorry, I forgot! But I'm you hear worse in school!" I put the dishes in the sink. Jesse grabbed his keys, "she probably uses worse language at school. "

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"Did you lock the door?" I asked Jesse while he carried me to the bed.

"Yeah." He said while kissing my neck. My legs were wrapped around his waist and my arms were around his neck.

"Are you sure you want to-" I started. Jesse dropped me on the bed and climbed on top of me.

"Trust me I'm sure." He said looking into my eyes. Next thing I know our clothes are off, I'm on top of Jesse, I'm about one minute away from an orgasm when...

"Jesse have you OH MY GOD! AHHHHH! Oh my God!" Diana yelled.

The next two minutes were wild. Jesse practically threw me off of him, I lost my balance and fell off the bed. Jesse somehow hurt his...penis and was screaming 'Fuck'. And Diana was trying to blindly get herself out the room.

"Keep your eyes closed Di!" I yelled as I wrapped a blanket around me.

"I'm never opening my eyes AGAIN!" She yelled.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I yelled at Jesse.

"Could you just give me a minute." He squeezed out, his face squeezed tight in pain.

"No, you threw me on the floor! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry, freaked out!"

"I'm going to kill you!" I ran to our closet and grabbed my robe.

"I thought you locked the door!"

"I thought I did too!"

"Well you didn't." Diana yelled.

"Don't you knock? What is the first thing I told you about coming into my room?" Jesse yelled.

"So now it's my room?" I said.

Jesse rolled his eyes, grabbing his boxers from the floor. "Our room. I told you knock first or be scarred for life."

"I thought that was a joke!"

"Did that scar you?" Jesse asked.

"Yes!" Diana said.

"Guess it wasn't a joke then. You have to knock!"

"Di, you can open your eyes now." I said. I was now sitting on the bed. She opened them but turned so wasn't facing us.

"I'm telling mom!"

"Don't tell mom!"

"Dont tell your mom!" Me and Jesse shouted at the same time.

"Why?"

"She'll flip a shit! At me, at Jaleia, and you know she already hates her. You can't say shit."

"Wow, thanks Jess." I said.

"Fine. Ewww." She shivered.

"We need to talk about boundaries, so I will see you in five minutes, so deuces!" Jesse said.

"Ugh!" Diana said again and again as she walked out the door, closing it behind her. Jesse turned to face me. "So Jay."

"Don't come over here. This side of the room is for people who lock the door, and don't throw their wife off their dick and on the floor!"

"You can't still be mad, it was an accident!"

"Try me."

"Jay!" I threw a pillow at him. Which he dodged because my aim is trash.

"I'm sorry!"

"I am never riding you again! Ever!"

"Oh come on, man! It was an accident!" He said, moving closer to the bed. I reached down and picked up one of his sneakers.

"Try me."

"Okay, Okay, chill, I'm going to talk to Di. But me and you gon talk about this riding thing Jay."

"Whatever!" I said as he walked out the room. Once he left I locked the door, cut off the lights and laid down. Ten minutes later I heard Jesse rattling the door handle.

"Jay!" He said.

"Jess!"

"Open the door."

"Oh, is it LOCKED?" I said sounding fake surprised.

"JALEIA! Stop playin!"

"That's how you lock a door, Jess! I'm going to bed now. "

"Jaleia, I'm not sleeping on the couch again!"

"Then I don't know where you're going to sleep, goodnight. I love you."

"Love you too."

[drippingsadism]

be more chill the musical rp meme part 1

Feel free to change the lyrics / pronouns to fit your muse ! Trigger warnings: suicidal thoughts tw.

"I could stay right here or disappear, and nobody’d even notice at all.”

“I’m a creeper in a bathroom ‘cause my buddy kinda left me alone.”

“Everything felt fine when I was half of a pair.”

“I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall.”

“No, you can’t come in!”

“I’m waiting it out till it’s time to leave.”

“I’m just [Name], who you don’t know.”

“I’m hiding, but he’s out there, just ignoring all of our history.”

“I have regret the beers.”

“I’ll wait as long as I need ‘till my face is dry. Or I’ll just blame it on the weed. Or something in my eye.”

“I’ll get replaced by a newer, cooler version of me.”

“They’re gonna start to shout soon.”

“It sucks that he left me here alone.”

“My big mistake was showing up.”

“Is there a sadder sight?”

“I wish I’d stay at home at bed, watching cable porn.”

“I wish I’d off myself instead, wish I was never born!”

“God, I’m such a loser!”

[Sarcasm] “Awesome party, I’m so glad I came.”

“I’m waiting for my porno to load.”

“Freaking out is my ‘okay’.”

“When I get nervous, my whole face goes red.”

“If I walk, when I arrive, I’m gonna straight up reek.”

“If I’m not feeling super weird or strange, my life would be an utter disarray.”

“God, I wish I had the skill. To just be fine, or cool, or chill.”

“I'll never be a Rob DeNiro, For me, Joe Pesci is fine.”

“I don’t wanna be special. I just wanna survive!”

“Dude, weigh the options calmly and be still.“

“So, Rowlan said Madeline told Jake: I'll only have sex with you if you beat me at pool and then she lost at pool deliberately!”

“It's a sign up for the after school play... it's a sign up sheet for getting called "gay".”

“No time to wallow, no instead, just clear your brain and move ahead.”

“You're one of those guys who'll be a virgin 'till he dies!”

“You're listening to Bob Marley again, aren't you?”

“How was class? You look like ass, what's wrong?”

“Hey, I saw on discovery that humanity has stopped evolving!“

“Look who's signing up for the play!”

“I'm never gonna be the cool guy, I'm more the one who's left out.”

“I get depressed, but not depressed as in like kill yourself depressed. No, I’m not into self-harm. Dude, I swear, here check my arm!”

“I am passionate a lot.”

“I have mad, gigantic feelings, red and frantic feelings, about most everything. Like gun control, like spring. Like if I’m living up to all I'm meant to be.”

“Life is easy in rehearsal, You follow a script so you know what comes next.”

“The only time I get to be the centre of attention is when I'm Juliet or Blanche DuBois and can I mention that was really one of my best roles. Did you see that?”

“Most humans do one thing for all of their lives, the thought of that gives me hives!”

“And why am I telling this to you? Guess there's a part of me that wants to.”

“My little penis was depressed.”

“That's the point. This is some top-secret-can't-even-look-it-up-on-the-internet shit.”

“So... It's like drugs?”

“Picture this: nobody cares if you are late 'cause even teachers think you're great.”

“Find the bad guy, push 'em aside. Then move on forward with your friend at your side.”

“If you leave your brother behind, it's lame.”

“Dude you are cooler than a vintage cassette. It's just that no one else but me thinks that yet.”

“Nobody here appreciates, but soon we'll be together where they do.”

“Guys like us are cool in college.”

“You're just a nothing in this high school scheme, but it's no big cause you and I are a team.”

“But we're not in college.”

“High school is whack, but we have each others' back.”

“You know that you are my favourite person, that doesn't mean that I can't still dream.”

“Is it really true that I’m your favourite person?”

“Take your hands out of your pockets, arch your back, puff out your chest.”

“All your nerdiness is ugly.”

“Your charm is non-existent.”

“Everything about you is so terrible. Everything about you makes me wanna die.”

“So don't freak out and don't resist.”

“What?! What's wrong with my shirt—”

“How are you with math homework?”

“Don't smile. Stare intensely. Speak like you don't care about your own death.”

“I saw it in the window and I couldn't dismiss, I was dating a girl and she had a shirt just like this.”

“Ugh! She is NOT French! She just pretends to be for attention!”

“Hey, Hamlet. Be more chill.”

[syekick-powers]

i feel the need to write a long post about my experiences as an nb trans guy. i honestly feel like not enough people understand what that means. tw for mentions of miscarriages, deep discussion of transmasc dysphoria, and occasional mentions of sexual assault near the bottom.

my dysphoria didn’t really start until puberty. when i was a prepubescent child, i mostly felt okay about my body and who i was. did i have discomfort with how people perceived me? yes, but it was so heavily sublimated that i didn’t recognize it for what it was until years later. one of my earliest memories when i was a child was sitting in front of the TV in my grandma’s house watching arthur while my grandma cooked in the kitchen up the stairs. i was thinking to myself about gender, and i concluded that i must’ve been a boy, because that’s how i felt. i didn’t know anything about gender as genitals. i didn’t know anything about gender roles. i was a very young child with barely any conception of the differences between genders, and i still concluded i was a boy.

i didn’t think about that again for a long time. my mother, bless her, was obsessed with the idea of having a daughter. she told me over and over growing up how happy she was that i was born, how much she tried and tried to have me, how she had three miscarriages before finally giving birth to me. over and over and over, she insisted that she loved me specifically because i was “female”, because i was her “daughter”. this was a constant throughout my childhood, and when i was younger i didn’t fight it. because i didn’t really know anything about gender, and i let the adults decide for me because i didn’t have the vocabulary to describe what i was actually feeling.

would i have identified as nonbinary from childhood if i’d known what that meant? absolutely, i would have. once i knew the difference between penis and vagina, i always wanted to have both. i always wondered if that was weird, but i was too afraid of coming across as a freak to ask any of my peers if they felt the same way or if i was just a weirdo. i don’t necessarily buy into the “born in the wrong body” narrative, because my body is my body. i don’t always feel comfortable in it, but it’s still mine. i want to change it to make it fit myself better, because that is my right as a human being.

but i did have dysphoria. once i hit puberty, the changes my body was doing was enough to fill me with so much self-hatred. when my mom was telling me about puberty, she told me “now you’re going to grow breasts” and the very first words out of my mouth were “but i don’t WANT them!” my mother told me that the feeling of my breasts itching or hurting meant they were getting bigger, and to this day even the slightest unusual sensation around my chest gives me dysphoria. my greatest dysphoria was always around my chest. i never felt this pain when i was prepubescent because i didn’t have breasts. but when they started growing, i hated them so much. i just wanted to rip them off my body. they felt like alien parasites clinging to my skin, like fleshbags that had been stapled to my chest. every single time i felt them move or bounce i wanted to claw my own skin off.

but you know what? i had no idea what i was experiencing was dysphoria. my hatred of my body manifested as body dysmorphia. i felt ugly, ugly, ugly--but i had no idea it had anything to do with my gender, because ninety percent of the self-hatred i felt was because i was fat. that was the largest part of it--my family is descended from northern europeans, which means that our body types naturally favored carrying a lot of fat. when i was a young child, i was aromantic due to gender dissonance, but as a teenager i gradually realized i did want a relationship. but i was convinced i was just such an ugly “girl” that no one would ever love or even fuck me. i hated my body because it was fat, or so i thought. that was what i was convinced of, because it made enough sense.

the first clue that i had that i was maybe not just an ugly girl was when i started using the chatrooms on dA, aka dAmn. i entered a chatroom with a bunch of people in it and introduced myself, and gradually i became one of the regulars and even an admin in the chat. and since this was like a decade ago, the assumption on the internet was that most of the people who used the internet were men. people who came into the chat assumed i was a guy, just because that was how the internet was at that point. and when people came into that chatroom and assumed i was a guy... i never corrected them. i never proudly proclaimed “actually, i’m a girl.” i never acted offended or weirded out (though i was surprised that people didn’t think my alias sye didn’t sound feminine, because at the time i conceptualized it as a “feminine” name), and when people used he pronouns to refer to me, i always got a thrill from it.

eventually, however, i migrated off of dA and onto reddit. i was a fairly frequent reddit user in my later high school years, but i mostly interacted on the ragecomics subreddit, the vocaloid subreddit, and the queer subreddit r/ainbow. i picked out r/ainbow because during middle school i had been questioning my sexuality (at first i called myself pan, but then gradually i drifted to the bi label for a few reasons) and i’d heard that r/ainbow was a much friendlier subreddit, because a lot of redditors claimed that the r/lgbt subreddit had been taken over by tumblr SJWs, and since i was still overcoming a pretty serious case of 4chan poisoning at that point, i decided to pick the “friendlier”, less “SJW” queer subreddit. r/ainbow had pride flag flair (little icons you could put next to your username) and my first ever foray into identifying as nonbinary was changing my flair on r/ainbow to be a combination of the bi flag and the genderqueer flag.

now, i knew for a fact that my sibling also used reddit, and that he’d see my choice of flair sooner or later. eventually, we had a conversation about that, and he told me that he’d accept me and asked me about my pronouns and did all the accepting things he could, letting me know that he really cared about me.

my parents, on the other hand.... i didn’t come out to them for the longest time. i hate saying that i was “in the closet” because so many people use it to mean that the person doesn’t really know themself and that they’re just holding back showing everyone who they really are. i hated this idea that “being in the closet” meant you were being dishonest. so i never really considered myself “closeted”. but i didn’t tell people face to face that i was nonbinary. i was loud and out about it on the internet, but i never ever told anyone directly to their face that i was not cis. at the time, i was still not sure of what i wanted to do with myself. i’d just been introduced to the idea of not actually being a girl, and i was grappling with what that meant for me, what it meant for my self-perception. i’d had the identity of “girl” beaten into my head so much during my childhood thanks to my mother’s obsession with having a daughter that i didn’t know how to self-conceptualize any other way. i didn’t want to transition yet. i didn’t even want to socially transition. i was scared. terrified of what being trans meant. i went through a phase where i said i was “nonbinary but not trans” just because the idea of changing myself so drastically was terrifying, even if i hated my chest and hated presenting as female. (to a certain extent, i never really consciously presented as feminine. i had long hair, which meant that everyone assumed my presentation was “feminine”, even if i wore cargo pants and a leather jacket.)

but gradually, over time, my self-perception changed. i realized that part of the reason why i hated my appearance so much was because i was gendering my own features. my face wasn’t my face, it was a “female” face. my body wasn’t my body, it was “a girl’s body”. a lot of my ambient dysphoria came from just perceiving myself and my body in an inherently gendered way. over time, i trained myself not to see my own body as inherently anything. i didn’t have “a girl’s body”, i had my own body. i didn’t have a “girl’s” face, it was just my face. i still do experience dysphoria, mostly around my chest, but not nearly to the level i experienced as a teenager.

and, of course, with gender questioning, my sexuality questioning was also pretty intense too. one of the things i see a lot of queer cis people not understand is that the experience of being queer and trans is so much weirder than being queer and cis. you have no fucking idea how weird it is to grow up being attracted to men your whole life, loving how they look and their aesthetics and their voices and their bodies and everything--but just feeling so, so alienated at the idea of trying to be in a relationship with them. because of how they’d perceive you. because to them you’re just a girl, and boys are supposed to be the man of the house and women are supposed to be nurturing housekeeping mothers and how weird are you for being attracted to men and not wanting to be seen as a woman. because as a queer trans person, people assume you’re just a weirdo cis straight person with a fetishizing fixation on m/m (or f/f if you’re queer+transfem) couples. i remember when i first started using tumblr i saw a post from someone who said something like “i have read so much fanfiction now that i’m no longer attracted to men as a woman, but as a gay male” and the comments were just full of people screaming UGH STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE SO UGLY YOU GROSS FETISHIZING FREAKS HOW NASTY ARE YOU DISGUSTING SHAME SHAME SHAME and i, who had been reading m/m fanfiction and felt seen for the first time in my life, internalized such a huge amount of shame and self-disgust just from that post alone. any time i was attracted to a queer male character in a piece of media i hated myself so much for being a “fetishizer” because i wanted to be in a relationship with them, but couldn’t because i was just “a sad straight girl who turned gay men into a fetish”. never mind the fact that seeing m/m romance for the first time in my life made me feel seen and understood in a way that no m/f romance in mainstream media had ever made me feel. never mind the fact that i wasn’t even a girl in the first place. it’s nothing like being queer and cis at all.

i still remember the first time i came across gay male subcultures, and how different men with different body types would be categorized with various nicknames. i encountered the bear subculture, the group of men who were fat and hairy, and i felt something click. this, i thought. this is what i want to be. because i had spent so long thinking of myself as just an ugly girl, it never even occurred to me that there may be someone out there who would look at my body type and find it hot and sexy and desirable. my brain had been so drenched in a potent combination of self-hating misogyny, fatphobia, and transphobia that i couldn’t even consider myself sexually attractive at all. and then i found bears, and i realized that maybe someone could find me sexy and attractive, that i wasn’t just a failed girl, that someone could find me beautiful even with the body i had.

and it wasn’t just the whole “fat and still sexy” thing  that struck me about the bear subculture, either, it was specifically “fat and hairy and sexy”. because one of the ways i struggled with gendered expectations as a teenager was the feminine expectation to shave. i hated shaving my legs and my armpits. i have moles in my armpits that make shaving without hurting myself impossible, and my leg skin is so bumpy that i couldn’t shave there without hurting myself either. no matter how much i tried, i would always, ALWAYS nick myself in the shower with the razor, and in the case of my armpits, sometimes the moles would get actually stuck in the razors and it would fucking hurt. and my mother constantly, constantly harangued me to shave, told me that women who didn’t shave were seen as dirty and unhygienic and gross. to this fucking day i cannot wear shorts in public because my legs are SO hairy and i am so terrified of someone handing me shit for not shaving my legs. i literally cannot bring myself to wear anything but full-length pants out in public no matter how hot it is because of how scared i am of someone insulting me for my leg hair because they assume i’m a woman. but the bear subculture? you could be fat and hairy and still be stunningly attractive. you could be chubby and totally covered in hair and still be a total sex bomb.

eventually, i found myself wanting to take testosterone. i thought of myself as trans, not just nonbinary. i started to become more loud and direct about my gender. i was still not out to people in my face-to-face life, but on the internet i became pushier and pushier about my identity. i felt more and more like i wanted to alter myself so i could stop living in this perpetual pit of frustration that was dealing with dysphoria. i wanted to transition, more and more, even if the social consequences of transitioning were severe, because the longer and longer i went allowing people to assume i was female, the angrier and angrier it made me to be misgendered. when i was a child, someone calling me “lady” was nothing. but as i got older, hearing someone call me “lady” made me want to fucking snap their neck. i wanted to correct them so, so badly every single time, even if outing myself put me in danger.

my mother forcibly outed me as trans to the PCP doctor i was visiting, which was extremely stressful and painful for me at the time--but it turned out that the doctor’s brother was actually a trans man, and as a result he was much more friendly to me about my identity than most other doctors would be where i was living in rural nebraska. i had been struggling up to this point trying to find a place to get testosterone. the first place i went to was super gatekeep-y, where they had a policy of not calling you back to schedule an appointment if you didn’t call them repeatedly and insistently, because apparently only calling to ask for an appointment once meant that you didn’t “want it enough” to be “really trans” (never mind the fact that i have terrible phone anxiety). the second endocrinologist i tried didn’t actually prescribe HRT. it just wasn’t his thing. i drove 100 miles in bad weather to see him and he didn’t even do what i needed from him. but then i talked to the PCP my mother outed me to. i asked him to help me find a clinic where i could get testosterone. he did a quick google search and dug up a gender clinic in denver, printed out all their information for me, and told me to give them a try. now, denver was a few hours drive away from where i was living, but i had friends in colorado who would let me stay with them, so i had no problem with finding time to go to denver. in september 2019 i scheduled an appointment to go to this clinic, and they gave me a date and time and i made sure to schedule a trip to see my friends around it.

the moment i went into the clinic, i could tell that i was somewhere that would help me. the staff was mostly made up of black and latina women who were very kind to me. the patients were largely obviously GNC, transfem and transmasc alike. one of the patients in the waiting room when i went in was a person who had the brightest, most HOT PINK mohawk i’d ever seen and was wearing a tricked out leather jacket. most of the patients were also not white. i filled out their paperwork, and eventually they called me back to see the doctor.

the doctor was a nice man. he was wearing a rainbow lanyard. when he walked in, he asked me a few questions about my gender (mostly clarifying questions about my pronouns, since i said i liked both he and they pronouns and he wanted to know which of the two to use for me), listened to me discuss my gender dysphoria, and told me they were going to do a few blood tests to check my hormone levels to make sure that i didn’t have any medical problems that would get in the way of HRT. he sent me to their in-house lab, and the phlebotomist was a beautiful black woman who had a lovely laugh. i waited for a while longer in the waiting room while they ran their tests. then the doctor spoke to me again and told me that everything looked normal enough and i was cleared to start hormones. he said they had their own built-in pharmacy in the clinic where they’d send in a prescription for T and fill it the moment the insurance approval came back. this involved more waiting, but i was so excited about getting my hormones that i didn’t care. my best friend/qpp was with me at the time (they came with me for moral support since driving in denver is so fucking stressful), and i was happy enough that i was going to get my hormones that i didn’t care even if i had to wait all day.

and then, the nurses told me that i was going to do my first shot that day. they took me back into a back room with a vial of T and a needle and taught me how to do the injection. it was subcutaneous injections, so i didn’t have to worry about doing the long, scary intramuscular needle, but i still warned the nurse that i was a needlephobe and that i’d probably need to hype myself up for it quite significantly. but i was in a fuzzy state of mind at the time, too sleep-deprived to really feel any kind of fear. so the nurse told me “just pinch a bit of skin up and inject the needle halfway at an angle” and i was just like “okay!” and stuck myself immediately. the nurse was genuinely surprised.

i walked out of that clinic feeling giddy and unbelievably relieved. for the longest time i’d experienced nothing but obstacles when trying to get myself hormones. and all it took was one appointment at this gender clinic to get the prescription i needed. i was overjoyed beyond measure.

and i noticed, after i started testosterone, that my gender changed too. before i started T, i considered myself mostly non-gendered. i wanted only neutral pronouns.  even if i didn’t mind certain masculine terms, i still only wanted they pronouns. but the longer i was on T, the more masculine i felt. the more male i felt. and that, truth be told, did not bother me in the least. i feel comfortable in my skin now on testosterone, more than i had ever felt before. and i’m still changing. i’ve only been on T for about a year and 2/3rds or so, and bodily changes from hormonal transition take like 5 years to complete. i have a much deeper voice now, and i’m growing facial hair, but since i still have boobs and wide hips, people still assume i’m a woman. and even then, i’m happy as who i am. i’ll probably be happier once i get top surgery, but i’m still much happier with how i look now than i ever was as a teenager.

and you know what? i’m fine being a nonbinary guy. i consider myself both nonbinary, and s a trans man, because my gender isn’t wholly male, but i still feel comfortable being seen as “a man”. for the longest time i called myself “none gender with left boy”, but now it’s more like “guy gender with left eldritch.” i like thinking of my masculinity as inherently weird, like i’m some kind of odd colorful nonhuman creature that is man-shaped and has a deep voice and a flat chest but is still unmistakably nonhuman. i have a deep love and respect for the nonbinary community all those years that i identified solely as NB, but now i realize that thanks to the testosterone, i fit in somewhere else.

and let me tell you, it fucking hurts to be on tumblr, now realizing that i am, at least partially, a guy, and seeing how trans men are treated in queer spaces, both by t/er/fs and by other queer people, even other fucking trans people. it honestly feels to me like any time a trans man tries to speak about the specific experiences he has as a trans man, you have people either being like “you’re not oppressed because you’re a man so this didn’t happen”, or you have people being like “stop trying to dominate the conversation and take the focus away from transfems!”, or you’ll have t/er/fs either calling you a gender traitor or trying to indoctrinate you so they can brainwash you into detransitioning. and god fucking help you if you’re a trans man of color. MOC are already demonized enough for their identities; trans MOC get the worst of both worlds where they’re perceived as a threat due to being not white, AND due to being a man, AND due to being trans. it’s like everyone universally hates you for what you are, and refuses to let you speak about your problems because theyre 1) not “real” problems, or 2) you’re “stealing resources” from “the people who really need it” (i.e. transfems).

and this pisses me off so fucking much. i have no interest in playing oppression olympics with anyone, let alone my fellow trans people. i don’t want to claim that i’m “more oppressed” than transfems because by and large, i have led a fairly privileged life, and i recognize that. i know that i was lucky to be born to middle class parents who didn’t abuse/neglect me, who don’t hate me for being trans, who didn’t throw me out on the street when i came out to them. i know i am not more oppressed than others, even as a fat, queer, neurodivergent nb trans man--because i am white. because i was born to middle class parents. because i was not abused or neglected. i know this. i know it very well because my mother fucking raised me on a steady flow of “you’re so lucky to have us, you’re so lucky you’re not abused, so many other people have it so much worse than you do, you should be grateful we’re not abusing you.” and she did this so fucking much, in fact, that now i have a goddam complex of “everyone else has it worse than me so i should just shut up forever and never complain about anything because i have it so easy.” so when you have other people in the trans community itself playing the oppression olympics card, acting like focusing on anyone else aside from a very narrow group of people is “taking away resources” when it’s literally just trans men talking about what they experienced throughout their lives, i really don’t understand it. i don’t hate my trans sisters. i don’t want to pick fights with them over who’s had it harder. i want to stand in solidarity with them so we are united against the people who want to hurt and kill us. so when i see people acting like trans men are somehow “decentering the important people” when they literally do nothing else aside from just tell people shit that’s happened to them, i really have to wonder why they consider trans men to be less important to the conversation. over and over i’ve been fed messages that trans men are just secretly misogynists, that they just hate trans women and that’s why trans men get fooled into becoming T/ER/F/s. like, have you considered for a moment that maybe the reason why trans men and transmasc nbs get pulled into T/ER/Fi/sm is because so, so many trans spaces are SO FUCKING HOSTILE TOWARDS US??? AND THAT T/ER/FS MIGHT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS???? 

idk bro. the internet’s version of feminism is just hatred of men, of any and all kinds. it is just pain turned outward against people perceived to be the problem, who are not. so many people are like “trans men are just misogynists” but being fucking real with you, most of the people in my life who have mistreated me and been cruel to me over my gender are cis fucking women. ive heard so, so many stories from other trans men about how badly the cis women in their lives mistreated them because of their gender, their transition, their appearance. i hear stories about trans men being fooled into dating t/er/fs who then mentally, physically, and sexually abused them into detransitioning. even my own fucking mother, who raised me with this feminine expectation because she so badly wanted me to be her perfect “daughter”, reacted badly to me coming out as trans, because she confessed to me at one point that it felt like i was “rejecting how [she’d] raised [me].”

i want to be happy in my body. i want to be happy in who i am. but when casual hatred of men is so fucking condoned in queer (and even trans) spaces, it makes it really fucking hard to feel happy or comfortable in any of these places. at all. hatred of men doesn’t help anyone. it hurts trans men, who don’t need to be shit on so much just for being themselves and presenting in a way that makes them happy. it hurts nb people, especially those who are masculine-presenting or masc-of-center, AFAB and AMAB alike (since so many people see AMAB nbs as just “man lite”). it hurts trans women, both in and out of the closet, because it assumes that they’re male too and that they don’t know anything about female experiences despite being women themselves. it hurts cis men because it teaches them that people are going to assume they’re inherently threatening and violent and evil, even if they’re trying their best not to be any of those things, so why bother trying to be otherwise when people already expect you to be a violent, predatory asshole? and fuck, this whole bullshit of “men bad women good” doesn’t even help cis women either, because it fools them into believing all women are inherently safe, making it easier for female abusers to take advantage of them because “i’m a soft pretty girl uwu i could never hurt you like those bad evil dirty violent men could. how could i possibly hurt you. im just a sweet innocent girl uwu.”

like you can say “men aren’t oppressed for being men” all you want, but that doesn’t stop people from hurting and abusing and even killing trans men, queer men, men of color, neurodivergent men, disabled men, etc. and if you don’t believe that these intersections can intensify their oppression just because they’re men, then i really don’t know what to fucking tell you. trans men both queer and straight are shit on for being men because cis people see us as sad, broken failed women and other trans people see us as threatening and dangerous stealers of resources. cis queer men are shit on for not being “real” men and will be called things like “sissy” and “f*g” for not conforming to traditional cishet masculinity. men of color are seen as inherently threatening and dangerous just for existing as men and POC simultaneously. and disabled and neurodivergent men are also seen as “not real men” because they can’t perform to some arbitrary standard of able-bodied masculinity imposed on them by neurotypicals, for being “weird”, for not being “tough enough”, for their behavior being seen as threatening just because neurotypical people can’t understand what they’re doing, for having accommodation needs that people don’t want to meet because it’s inconvenient for them. sure, a white, cishet, neurotypical, able-bodied man is not going to be “oppressed” for being a man. this particular type of man will live a “privileged” life. but just acting like all men have no problems period and that their problems aren’t “real” problems just because they’re not women is NOT going to make men stop and go “wow maybe i’m being an asshole” when confronted about misogyny or whatever, it’s going to make them get defensive and double down. you don’t start a conversation with someone by telling them that their life was so easy and they don’t know what real problems are.  if you REALLY want to open people’s eyes to misogyny (and transmisogyny), the way of doing that is NOT by shitting all over all men and acting like they’re all evil bastards who’ve never known what it’s like to be oppressed. and i hate how the phrase “not all men” has turned into an invite to be dogpiled and abused, especially when you’re talking about trans men or queer men or MOC, because clearly you’re just a dumb evil man trying to mansplain misogyny to the righteous, pure cis women who are clearly the only group of people on the planet who’ve ever experienced any kind of gender-based oppression at all.

i am an nb trans man. i am trans and nb and a man. and i am sick and tired of seeing trans men be mistreated. me talking about my issues is NOT “stealing resources” from transfems. me talking about my experiences with misogyny and toxic beauty standards is not “taking” anything away from anyone. i am not “dominating the conversation” just for talking about my life. i am not a threat to other trans people just for fucking existing as a man. i want my voice to be heard--not at the expense of others, but i’m tired of other voices being elevated at the expense of my voice. iim not demanding that all the resources be funneled to trans men. i’m not asking for trans women and transfems to be listened to and respected and validated less. i just want trans men to have an equal seat at the table. i just want us to be told that we are welcome specifically because we are trans and men, because our community should welcome all trans people. i’m not going to ever play oppression olympics with anyone because i will always, always lose that fight, but i don’t have to be the most oppressed person in a discussion for my voice to deserve to be heard. i have struggled my entire life with my identity, both gender and sexuality wise, and i am just sick and fucking tired of people telling me that i’m wrong for whatever reason for doing this or that or the next thing when i’m just existing as myself. i’m not fucking hurting anyone. i live a pretty blessed life compared to others, considering my parents and some of my other family have no problem financially supporting me while i grapple with my ADHD and depression. i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: i’m not asking to take away resources from anyone. i just want trans men to be listened to and elevated too. our voices are also important. we contribute to the trans experience too. we go through systemic oppression too. and it’s not unfair or threatening for me to say “hey, i’m not trying to take away from your problems, but i also want to talk about what i’m going through and be validated for it too.” it’s not like by validating transfems, we cannot validate anyone else in the entire community. it’s not “mom says it’s my turn on the valid” here. we can uplift each other without taking from each other. and the amount of casually condoned hatred of men i’ve seen is fucking exhausting. it hurts every single time i see it. it’s fucking r/a/d/fe/m rhetoric too, this idea that all men are inherently bad. and seeing people espouse it uncritically hurts pretty much everyone.

i guess what i’m saying is, that i’ve had a long life journey to get to this point of being happy with who i am. and i refuse to let people tear me down for it just because they’ve swallowed too much t/er/f rhetoric to understand that this casual, pervasive hatred of men hurts everyone. it hurts trans and cis men. it hurts trans and cis women. it hurts nb people of all kinds, masc-aligned, fem-aligned, and unaligned, transfem and transmasc alike. it doesn’t do anything but wank the oppression boner of angry cis women who think that trans women/transfems are the root of all evil and that trans men/transmascs are just gender traitors that need to be raped and psychologically abused until they accept that they’re “really women”. i don’t want to steal anything from anyone. i just want to be listened to and told that my experiences matter. and our community is really not doing that right now, and it’s bullshit.

trans men, transmasc nbs, i love you. i love all of us. we are not “dangerous”, we are not “threatening”, we’re not “stealing resources” just for fucking existing and asking to be heard. we are amazing people, choosing to fight for our identities in a world that would strip us of all our agency. we deserve to be happy. we deserve to be loved. and if no one else is going to do it, i’ll love us anyway.