#so… i feel pretty lousy about not even enjoying myself. but feeling bad about it doesnt exactly help either

[skenpiel]

ok so ummmm for christmas i got a handful of stuff most of them were star trek related and most of them were books (literally the entirety of goodwill greater washingtons collection of tos novels LMAO) and 3 bendyfigs of SPOCK and DATA and PICARD. then i got something else that i dont even know if i can talk about. because. ive never ever ever in my life been more awestruck at a gift before. i dont think ive even processed it yet. i never ever ever ever imagined i would be able to own something like that. im at a total loss for words is the thing

[alleycatchitchat]

Kung Fu Panda 4 Initial Reactions

Just got back from the theater! Here are my thoughts. I'll try to be vague about the plot, but be warned: spoilers below.

---

So I went into the theater with rock-bottom spirits. I had seen the cringeworthy previews, read the disheartening reviews, connected the unsatisfactory dots and concluded that the movie I was about to see would be a nasty dumpster fire of a train wreck. And yet kfp played such a big role in my childhood that I couldn't just stay away. Filled with dread and morbid curiosity, I braced myself for the worst.

And it wasn't that bad.

Don't get me wrong; this movie made some decisions that I HUGELY disagree with. And compared to the other kfp movies, it's undeniably lousy. But it didn't ruin the franchise for me and I actually enjoyed myself in the theater.

Listing off my thoughts in no particular order:

Zhen. She is, to my surprise, a lot less irritating that I expected. The trailers don't do her justice and Awkwafina's voice was a whole lot less jarring than I expected. In terms of actual personality and even backstory, I liked her! However. Let's be honest, her design is shit. She looks like someone's Zootopia self-insert. She feels totally out of place in this movie -- particularly, during the end credits when she's side-by-side with the five (who all have the most beautiful stylized designs). Also, plotwise, WHAT is she doing in this film? Spoiler alert: she becomes the new dragon warrior. Spoiler alert again: yes, this is every bit as random and undeserved as you can imagine.

Furious Five: Were not in the movie. First of all, fuck you dreamworks, how dare you withold my children? My darlings? The loves of my life? Their absence is keenly felt and the plot is emptier without them, and I mean that with complete sincerity. I’m also going to point out the obvious; if there has to be a new Dragon Warrior, and I’m not saying that’s a good plot idea, but if there has to be, it should be Tigress. It makes the most sense thematically and the possibilities are just so good – developing her relationship with Po as he provides guidance, facing her feelings of inadequacy, exploring her connections with Shifu and the rest of the five — I could go on and on. The wasted potential is breathtaking. To be honest, it kinda feels like Zhen was written to replace her(using a hug to de-escalate a fight with Po, anyone?). Fanfic writers, I need a rewrite of this movie with Tigress, stat.

TAI LUNG! He was obviously played for nostalgia and there was no concrete point to his lines or presence. He was also written, if you ask me, pretty out of character. I’m still fuming over the fact that they brought him back and we don’t get to see Shifu’s reaction at all. Again, the wasted potential is breathtaking. When compared with Kai and Shen, who have NO speaking lines, it’s obvious that dreamworks just didn’t want to pay for extra actors. I thought that his acceptance of Po as the Dragon Warrior at the end was super cool, but there was NO lead up, NO meaningful character development to make this feel sincere, and again, it would have hit much harder if Tigress or Shifu were also there or if Po was NOT giving up the title. That being said, I never thought he would appear in a movie again, and I’m happy to have any crumbs I can get. They did a bad job, yes, but they BROUGHT HIM BACK. 

Po’s dads! Their side story was goofy and unnecessary but fun, and I enjoyed it. Also maybe it’s just me but the romantic tension between them is AMPED UP – does Li, like, live at the restaurant now? And they spend the movie acting like the most married couple ever. And when Li bursts into the tavern to rescue Mr. Ping, who looks at him with those starstruck eyes – well. I’m just saying. I think there’s something going on there.

I liked the Chameleon! Yeah, her whole gimmick is a little bit ripped off from Kai, but she’s sinister and greedy and badass, so she’s the real deal. I actually thought she was scarier than previous villains – there was less comic relief, maybe? I can only think of one instance where she’s presented in a comedic light, and even then, the tension just picked right up from where it left off. Which is strange, because the rest of the movie is a lot more lighthearted than previous films.

The pacing was weird. Too fast.

Shifu was cute in this movie. More Shifu please!

The reaction to Tai Lung’s return was WEIRD. It’s obvious Dreamworks didn’t want to dedicate time or effort to what was, essentially, a red herring. But. Plot-wise, it’s SO WEIRD that Po would try to face him with no backup. And the fact that we didn’t get to see Shifu’s reaction AT ALL, ugh. Realistically speaking I think Shifu would try to go face Tai Lung, no matter how “inner peace”-y he is now. Like come on, Tai Lung was his son, for crying out loud! 

The goats at the start? Also weird designs. Feel out of place.

Mantis got married! What the heck? (neutral about this, but it was definitely unexpected.)

In general, the plot was weird. It didn’t feel meaningful and it didn’t quite fit in with the rest of the kfp universe. Storytelling decisions were just plain bad. But as a standalone movie, it was not… terrible. Not irredeemable. I think, if Tigress had taken Zhen’s place, this could have actually worked. But she didn’t, and it didn’t.

So I’m going to headcanon it as fake and just stick to loving the first 3 movies. I don’t regret watching it, but there were huge problems that prevented me from enjoying it to its full potential.

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME THE GOLDEN GIRLS / SEASON 01 EPISODES 03 + 04

you know i'm whacked out on medication.

i like being whacked out.

would you please be a friend and go out with him?

i'd really love to go, but as you can see i'm busy.

we're playing cards and she stinks at it.

tonight, the years of humiliation ends.

i'm so scared, my dentures are chattering.

are you up for a night on the town with two handsome, eligible bachelors?

i'm not that interested in dating anymore.

everyone seems so ordinary after [name].

i'm gonna regret this and i know i'm gonna have a miserable time, but i'll go.

why do you look so depressed?

i'm tired of going out and not enjoying myself.

nothing could be more fun than beating her at cards tonight.

you're too competitive.

next time, i'm gonna date both brothers before i give one away.

i haven't laughed so much or acted so silly since i was a teenager.

he is the most outrageous, unpredictable man i have ever met.

i think it's terrific that you had a good time tonight.

take a cold shower and go to bed.

it looks like you two are getting pretty serious.

if the situation is right, you'll know it.

if you take chance in life, sometimes good things happen, sometimes bad things happen, but if you don't take a chance, nothing happens.

if you like me, it's for who i am, not for who i remind you of.

we could finally consummate our long and burning passion.

i think you'd better take a sedative before you look.

you couldn't possibly look terrible to me.

you'd just make love and feel lousy?

for fun, i ate onion sandwiches.

whatever you want to do is fine with me.

you're the only one who gets any enjoyment out of it.

i don't want anybody asking embarrassing questions.

some women don't kiss and tell.

most of the boys i dated in college were just for the stories.

it's a nice feeling, that when one part of your life is over, another part can begin.

how can you hate your sister?

we cannot have a baby in this house.

when she was born, i ceased to exist.

he used to call me the bad seed.

i'm sure my heart stopped beating for a minute.

i just didn't think you'd recognize good taste.

i wonder what she wants, the conniving little witch.

we never held a real conversation our entire lives.

to the beginning of a new and wonderful relationship.

you just step on any kind of tender moment.

i can't believe that you're still crazy about that.

i looked just like a swamp frog.

i'm in a no-win situation here.

either way, no matter what i do, i'm gonna lose something.

i only hear from him at christmas when he sends me a cheddar cheese nativity scene.

it's a terrible choice i've given you.

i don't even know what i would do under the same circumstances.

whatever happens, i love you.

then he called me an idiot.

she's an awful, selfish, neurotic woman.

sometimes you have to almost lose somebody before you realize how much they really mean to you.

let's go out and celebrate life.

let's go out and do something crazy.

[imsailorpluto]

True Beauty: Kang Sujin character reconstruction

They did out bestie so dirty in this drama, it's time to clean up writer's mess. I don't think Sujin ever deserved such overkill. Turning her into a villain way after the opportunity window closed was so pathetic. Massacring this heroine in such a cliché way calls for serious damage repair, so let's goooo.

Disclaimer: I'm not a writer and this is my first fic ever. English is not my first language, sorry for eventual mistakes. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.♡ the story sounds better in my head but what can we do Thanks @youlookprettywithoutmakeup for sending in a request for Seojun x Sujin content. Also a big thank you to the gifmakers who blessed us all with this inspirational seojun x sujin perfection!

TW: angst, losing friends, mentions of bullying, verbal violence and family abuse

Seojun x Sujin angst

After Sujin moved to the States, the real truth behind that bullying video came out. It was never Sujin's doing, but she left all her friends believe what they wanted. Her life was pretty much crumbling down from the abuse back home and her parents' divorce lawsuit. It felt like the whole world turned its back on her. The final blow was when Seojun accused her of posting that bullying video of Jukyung. Then Jukyung facing her about it, too. Being the only one who's always had her friends' backs, she was hurting more than ever.

- Fine, Seojun, let it be me. Does it even matter? I'm the bad guy. Nobody trusts me. Not even you. I could bend over backwards defending myself for something I never did and it won't change a single thing.

- Something you never did? Get over yourself, Sujin. I know how you feel about Suho.

- Wait, do you seriously think I'd do something as disgusting as that because of a guy?

Seojun smirked hearing those words, shaking his head in disbelief.

- And since when do you think I have feelings for Suho??? Don't you know me?

- Obviously I don't.

They stood there, staring at each other in silence. Sujin's heart was breaking into a million pieces, but she wasn't showing any emotion. Seojun was cruel, even if he didn't mean to be this way. His constant hot and cold behavior towards Sujin confused her, but after he started showing interest in Jukyung, she gave up on him.

-Sujin, I went to Yongpa High, none of those girls knew a thing about the video.

- Wow, congrats! You must be proud of yourself. Trusting Jukyung's bullies... Seriously?! Like you don't know their queen bully is into you.

- Just like you're into Suho. I saw you two hugging.

- You saw that?!

- Yes! I did!

- Then you saw me crying like an idiot too. Great.

- Wait... What?

- I quit the music academy, okay?

- Are you crazy? Why would you do that?

Seojun stood there, his eyes wide in confusion. He couldn't believe his ears. How could she not tell him any of this sooner? After all they've been through. After all those moments she helped him get over their friend's death. Weren't they close enough now, why wouldn't she confide in him?

- You don't know everything, so don't act so smart. Besides, Suho isn't even my type, you pabo. He just saw me crying at the staircase.

- Then explain one thing.

All she could think about was how did she end up in this mess. Now all of a sudden he wants to talk to her? And he's acting all innocent about it.

- I have nothing to say to you, Seojun. Even your lousy accusations can't touch me. If anyone ever did anything bad then it's you chasing a taken girl.

- I wasn-

- Let me know when you stop projecting your problems on others.

- No, you got it all wrong, I don't have feelings for Ju-

- Stop it. I'm tired of this. I don't even care anymore.

He looked at her in silence, heart hurting as well. He couldn't admit his feelings to her like this, not now. He knew he did so many stupid things to catch her attention, but he didn't think it would backfire like this. He also knew something wrong was going on, but her stare was hurting him. He couldn't read her face at all. She looked cold. Serious. He felt like her eyes were literally piercing him.

- I did it. Okay, Seojun? I did all of it. Go spread the word. Oh wait, you did that already.

Frustrated and disappointed, she confirmed the rumors. She didn't want to fight back anymore. It was the first time in her life she considered giving up for a change. Like it mattered, she'd be moving to the States soon. She has already lost everything and everybody she hold dear. This was the last time two of them talked before she left Seoul.

She never told Seojun about her father beating her, she was ashamed of that. She also never told him her father was against her attending the music academy, she was scared that if she ever started talking about it she'd end up telling him everything. Suho was the only one who knew about her family situation, but only because he saw her bruises one time and asked her about it. He promised to keep her secret and she never confined in him again after that. All three of them have been friends since early childhood and she didn't want to do something that might push either of them away.

Sujin was always an artistic soul. She was great at pretty much everything once she set her mind to it. Her singing skills were always advanced, even before she started classes at the music academy. She outperformed almost all of her seniors. No matter the talent, she had to quit singing. Father's orders.

"Singing won't get you to medical school, you're only worth as much as your grades, don't show up home until you come to your senses and quit that idiotic nonsense of yours."

So she quit at the time only to save herself from unnecessary pain. She was done with covering her face full of makeup for school and popping painkillers like candy. It was much easier to quit, at least until her mom got them both out of that mess finally.

Her mom managed to get a divorce eventually. She swore she'd take care of her daughter properly this time, so winning the lawsuit against Sujin's father played a crucial role this time. And she won, which left her with their huge family mansion worth billions of dollars. Sujin's father got a restraining order from court, and after the lawsuit they never heard from him again. Her mom sold everything and they both moved to the States, where Sujin enrolled in music academy once more. Their life was pretty much comfortable, but they've always stayed humble.

Sujin knew she had to go back to visit her friends at Seoul at some point, especially since she was getting so many texts and calls from her two ex besties ever since she left. News on what actually happened and who was behind the video incident spread like fire and cleared all guilt off Sujin. Yet she couldn't get over the fact that all of her friends judged her so quickly. Sooah disappointed her a lot, she never backed her up, not even once. While Jukyung surprised her more than anyone. She was the only one who never believed Sujin did anything wrong, not even when Sujin directly told her it is her doing.

Even though she wanted to spend hours on the phone with Jukyung, and let her know about everything what happened, cutting everyone off seemed rational for the time being. Everything was still too painful for her and she needed more time to heal from the chaos. Falling into unhealthy patterns was no longer an option. Sujin's habits have changed drastically ever since she moved to the States. Volunteering as a math tutor and martial arts teacher was all she did when she wasn't studying. Her taekwondo classes took place in the early mornings, and math classes in the evenings. Slowly, it got her thoughts back in order.

It wasn't until Seojun texted her a whole month after moving that she felt that pit in her stomach again.

Seojun: I'm sorryx Sujong I shoudlvew known

- What's with this pabo? Ah, he's drunk again.

Sujin: Hey Seojun, I hope you're good. I know you've sent me that txt accidentally. Stay well and take care. Don't drink and ride that Ninja of yours, ok?

A few days passed until he finally responded back.

Seojun: Where r u, I need 2cu. Sujin: I'm out of the country, actually. Let's catch up over a video call one of these days, ok? Seojun: Naah, txt me whn u get back :P

She wanted nothing more than to talk to him, to hear his voice. She needed him to be there for her, just like she used to be there for him long ago. If going back there was ever an option, she needed to get better fist, on her own. Thoughts of being back in the city where it all went downhill made her extremely uncomfortable. Besides, her feelings for Seojun confused her, it was too much all at once. This time, she decided to let him go for good. Maybe next time their paths cross, things turn out different.

[themoreeviltwin]

A lil' introduction to the weirdo who owns this blog!

This post is a stub, and I'll work on it a bit more later – I'm not as experienced in making my posts look so pretty like y'all do, haha – so please bear with this lousy introduction before I get my shit together and write something proper. :D

Who's that?

Hey!!! I usually go by Par on the internet. I'm an 18yo girlie with an unhealthy obsession with fictional 2D men and an unlimited access to the internet... bad combo. Other than that, I listen to a big lot of music, and my biggest thing is studying languages. I've got three and a half language under my belt right now (that being Czech, English, German and French), and you bet I'm constantly working on more (Finnish and Japanese for now). I'm hopefully not new to Tumblr as a silent observer, but I definitely am new as an active contributor, so please, be patient with me. D: Totally down to chat if you feel like we could share some interests! Worst case scenario, we just don't click. :) Regarding what kind of content I consume here – whatever I feel like. I switch obsessions and fictional crushes as often as I change my socks, so the range is wiiiiide. I mostly do self-ships, but character x character is definitely not off the table!

What's up with this place?

Well, not a lot right now. I used to write a lot for myself in the past, but not anymore, since, you know... school stuff. I had somewhat of a break from watching anime this last year, but I recently got into it and I'm having more fun than ever. That's what led me to the decision to actually start using this blog! So... what you can currently see here will most likely just be reblogs of memes, fanart and fics that I enjoyed, and some occasional shitposting and thirsting from my humble self. Maybe someone will find it entertaining! HOWEVER! I'm hoping to start writing again and maybe even share my silly little imagines with you, lovely people!

So... what fandom?

Tons of them. I'm making the decision to not name them all yet, since there is a lot, but hopefully one day I'll list them here! If you try hard enough, you can maybe even find me on MAL. :) You can take a few guesses based on the stuff that I share, anyway. <3

Asks? Is that a thing here??

No, not yet, but it totally can be if you do have an ask to send my way! I'm open to all kinds of asks, from friendly greetings to thirsts and... *ominous music*... requests? If you caught me posting or reblogging about your favorite guy, chances are I'm down bad (too). I don't have a lot of motivation to write for myself, and I totally don't wanna make no empty promises here, but if you have an idea in your head and want to see how someone else would execute it... I'm all ears! That being said, there are currently no big "no's" regarding what you can ask for/about. If a line gets crossed or I don't wanna write something, I'll just tell you! So no worries. <3

[stormyoceans]

Huh, I watched episode 1 with great difficulty in several visits and, most likely, I will not return to this show. Starting from the first minutes of their "operation" and on I caught myself thinking about blooper, but I did not enjoy the show, and this is a bad sign. Usually, when I like the show, I don't notice the plot irregularities. This popular show is not mine, and that's okay tho. Apparently the same thing is happening to you, Monica. Just drop this show and move on. Fortunately, there are a lot of shows now (but the quality of most is lousy unfortunately)

OH THAT'S INTERESTING

my entire dash has been all-over the sign since the very first episode, so i think you're the first person that i know of who's not into it. im actually so very grateful for your message, anon, because when it comes to popular shows in the fandom i always feel some kind of pressure to like it no matter what, so it's pretty comforting to be reminded that it's okay even if i don't, that there are people out there who might feel the same as me

i personally didn't mind the not-so-polished look of the first 3 episodes, but i feel like the boot camp part was cut way too short, and maybe that's why i keep getting stuck right after it. i was enjoying both the camaraderie and the animosity forming between the characters due to the close quarters and the harsh training, so it was a bit frustrating to move on from it so soon, especially since i felt like there was still a lot to explore there

idk i don't want to give up on the show quite yet because i do believe it has something to give me, but rn i won't push myself. maybe i will go back to it in the future with a different mindset and i will like it, who knows. im always gonna stay open to possibilities!!!!!!

[sparklyslug]

15 questions!

Tagged by my blorbissimo @greenlikethesea! And @judasofsuburbia which reminded me I had this in my drafts lmaooooo! Stuff about me!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

I’m named after the biblical Hannah, mother of the prophet Samuel! I think mostly because my parents were tickled by the story of her crying at the temple because she wants a child so bad, and then bawling out the rabbi because he assumed she was drunk.

2. When was the last time you cried?

BIG FAT SOBS watching everything everywhere all at once over the weekend. Because of life stuff, I honestly do not know. I’m not a big crier, generally.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope! Being 32 means the window is narrowing for me I guess, and I am not. Sure. How I feel about that. This is more vulnerability than this format calls for tho whoops.

4. Do you lose sarcasm a lot?

Noooooo not really. I think I’m more of a hyperbole kind of gal.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Eyes

6. What’s your eye color?

She’s rocking that heterochromia BABYYY! My eyes are a ring of dark blue/grey and then inner rings/bubbles of blue and green. I love my eyes! They don’t work well but they’re pretty! Strictly ornamental!

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies WITH happy endings!

(I’m a HEA bitch for sure cmon)

8. Any special talents?

Small talk and chit chat. I’m not joking I legit prize myself on this. And I’m a good baker!

9. Where were you born?

New Yawk New Yawk

10. What are your hobbies?

Fandom, writing reading. Going to shows and concerts and things. Hanging with folks. Knitting sometimes? Running sometimes?

11. Do you have any pets?

Sweet baby girl Peaches the cat! Who is white and orange and about 5ish years old, big beautiful yellow eyes and very few teeth. I’ve had her just over a year and I LUB her

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I played softball through elementary and middle school (lol) and ran cross country and track in high school. If it counts I also did competitive(ish) ballroom dance in high school and a little bit of college.

13. How tall are you?

Around 5’4”. My drivers license LIES and says 5’6” I don’t even know why tbh. I like to think I project more height than I actually have.

14. Favorite subject in school?

English ahahaha duh that was my major too, and it was totally unplanned in the sense that I got to sophomore year of college and realized if I wanted to stay with my “intended” major of History I’d need an extra year or two in order to graduate, whereas if I just looked at the classes I had BEEN TAKING because they interested me and I enjoyed them, I’d have that English major sewn up in no time.

15. Dream job?

Man who even KNOWS anymore. I’m currently in what was once my dream job situation, and I still like it but can’t deny I’m underpaid and have been through some bumpy times that have taken the shine fully OFF. So I don’t know. I’d like to be a full time writer professionally but it’s the dream as in it is not SUPER realistic.

I’d love to work at the Globe Theater in but JEEZ LOUSIE THAT PAY IS SO LOW thought y’all subsidized the arts over there CRIPES.

[magnoliabloomfield]

Possession Finale

After a blissful but not nearly long enough nap, Gally was awakened by a knocking on the med hut door. He came to enough to realize how comfortable he was before it was rudely taken away from him. He’d had a hold of Nikola’s waist and his head was resting under her chin before she slipped out from under him. He was left behind in the cot that felt more uncomfortable than ever before as she crossed the room and opened the door.

“Hey, how is he?” Jeff asked as he came in.

“As good as he can be after what they put him through. I got him all patched up and let him rest a bit. I think he’ll be ok,” her voice drifted to Gally. He started to pull the memory of kissing her up through the fog in his head and couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the cracked corner of his mouth. He was way more than ok.

“Thanks for helping me,” she added. “It was nice to have privacy.”

Interesting, Gally thought. He helped her? Did he… know?

“Thank yourself for that,” Jeff chuckled. “It’s only because you took all those anti-peeping precautions in case you ever became a patient.”

“Still, you guys got Shawn out of here to make this all possible. What’s been going on out there?”

“Mostly taking care of Shawn, you really did a number on him. I think all the boys will keep out of your biting range from now on. Well, all except one, I’m assuming,” Jeff was saying and Gally imagined he meant him.

Nikola giggled and it was the sweetest thing in the whole shucking glade.

“I take it went well then?” Jeff asked and Gally wished he had fallen back asleep for real, it was wild enough what had just happened between him and Nikola, it was crazy awkward to hear another person discuss it.

“Very well,” Nikola answered and Gally blushed despite himself. “I’m really glad we had this opportunity, I don’t know what’s going to happen going forward.”

Gally almost frowned at that. What did she mean? He wasn’t going to be changing his mind about his feelings, and he definitely didn’t want to give up kissing her now that he’d had a taste. Damn, that reminded him of the shuck Shawn was saying.

“Well, I really hope it works out in your favor,” Jeff said and sounded pretty darn sincere. “Alby really wants to hear what happened from you and Gally. Is he up for it, do you think?”

“I’ll try and wake him up, if he needs more rest then I’ll come out and talk to Alby first,” she told him.

“Alright, I’ll let him know,” Jeff said and there was the sound of the door and lock again.

“Did you get all that?” Nikola asked as she gently sat down on the edge of the cot and delicately ran her hand over his hair. He was so bruised and battered she was afraid a normal touch could cause him pain. Her fingers lightly brushed over any bit of unbruised skin she could find.

“M-hm,” Gally hummed as he cracked his eyes open and saw her hovering over him like an angel. “Just what exactly did you do to Shawn?”

She laughed before a protective edge took over her. “He got what he deserved for messing with my best friend, that lousy shank.”

Gally chuckled at her use of glader slang. “A few months ago, if someone asked if I’d ever kiss my best friend the answer would have been a hard no.”

“Don’t tell Newt that, he’ll be devastated,” She said without missing a beat and Gally chuckled hard enough to hurt himself on that one. “I wish we could stay in here forever,” he said when the laughter and then the pain subsided.

“I know,” she sighed. “Me too. So… one more before we go back out there?”

“At least two,” he corrected, making a bashful grin spread on her face as she carefully laid next to him, careful not to bump or jostle him in his sore state.

Her fingers ran through his hair, giving an electric thrill down his spine as her nails grazed his scalp. He’d never felt a caring or gentle touch before, and definitely not anything sensual, so everything she did was a new sensation to him. She leaned down to him and he knew what was coming first, her nose brushing against his and he grinned wide when she did even though it hurt.

“You like that, huh?” he asked.

“What?” she asked, not knowing what he was referring to.

“The little nose nuzzle,” he clarified, tilting his head to graze hers with his.

“It’s because you have such a cute nose,” she smiled and nuzzled back, watching his face go pink. “You’re really cute, if you didn’t already know that.”

“Is ‘cute’ a good thing?” he lightly squinted at her, remembering how she called the dog and the baby animals cute.

“Uh, it’s a very good thing,” she said like he was completely clueless. “Cute means that I not only find you wildly attractive, but I also enjoy spending time with you, so I’d make out with you but also I’d talk about anything with you and do anything for you that a best friend would do, and then make out some more.”

“Is that what it means?” he chuckled, seeing her nod and bite her lip as she grinned too. “Well, that sounds pretty shucking good.”

He reached up with his bandaged hand and slipped it behind her neck, gently guiding her lips to his once again. It felt like they were expressing all the emotions they’d have to suppress once they walked out that door, like they were reassuring the other of their feelings even if they had to deny something when they got out there.

They knew they couldn’t linger too long with Alby waiting on them, so very begrudgingly they got up and left the privacy of the medhut. The world of the glade was fairly small, but after his time alone with Nikola it came crashing on him with a violent rush. The sheer number of boys and their noise was almost too much for him even though he’d been living with it for three years.

They walked together but at a proper distance even though they’d much rather have been holding hands. They already felt a separation depression. Finally they got to the gathering hall and found Newt and Alby there, leaning tiredly in their seats.

“Hey,” Alby greeted, surprisingly calm. “How are you guys doing?”

“Fine,” Gally shrugged, not used to being asked that.

“Really? ‘Cause you look terrible,” Alby lightly teased him as Gally took a seat. “And you Nikola? He didn’t hurt you too bad?”

“No, it’s not that bad,” she said even as she wrapped her hand around her pony tail and ran it down the length of it.

“I bet Shawn wishes he could say the same,” Alby’s joke fell flat.

“I won’t apologize for that,” She said firmly, and Gally had to fight to control the expression on his face and not look over at her like she was a goddess.

“Don’t worry, that’s not what I’m asking you to do,” Alby assured her. “I want to hear what happened from you two. Nikola why don’t you go first, I’m just way too curious.”

“I heard some noises and I found Shawn and two other boys ganging up on Gally and beating him, so I yelled at them to stop before I tried to scream and run for help. Shawn caught me, and he was covering my mouth. He grabbed my hair so I couldn’t get away,” she said and again she touched her hair. “So when I managed to get one of his fingers between my teeth I just bit down as hard as I could. He’d either have to let my hair go, or he wouldn’t have a free hand to do anything else so long as I could clamp down hard enough. Plus it made him scream which brought everyone running.”

“So, you bit him because you were afraid of him hurting you?” Alby asked.

“He certainly could have, but I did it to help Gally,” she answered. “I thought they were going to kill him.”

“Uh-huh,” Alby nodded, tongue in cheek as he let that information settle in. “And what about you, Gally?”

The builder sighed heavily. “I was collecting wood in the dead heads when the three of them showed up,” he started reciting. “Shawn started talking a lot of crap about me trying to rile me up, he wanted me to hit him.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because after he hit me, Johnny said ‘I thought he was just supposed to hit you?’ and Shawn said ‘Screw that.’”

“So, you knew he wanted you to hit him, and you did it?” Alby questioned, looking skeptical.

Gally let out another breath and fidgeted a little. “I held back for a long time,” he said, looking down as he picked at his thumb. “But then he started saying some stuff I couldn’t let slide. I gave him a warning, I just grabbed his collar and gave him a little push away from me since he was in my face. He didn’t take the hint so then he had to take the hit.”

“What did he say exactly?” Alby asked, Newt’s eyes darted to Nikola and back.

“It made me believe he would do something to hurt Nikola,” Gally answered.

“What did he say?”

“I’m not gonna say it in front of her,” Gally said resolutely as he held Alby’s authoritative gaze.

Alby gave a pause as he considered Gally. “That bad, huh?”

Gally just nodded and felt Nikola shift uncomfortably in her own seat.

“Something bad enough to get you to throw a punch you knew he wanted when you were outnumbered three to one,” Newt observed.

Nikola gave him a sideways glance, wondering now more than ever what it could have been, still feeling guilty that it had something to do with her at all. But she was also thinking about how Gally was such a good guy. Maybe a little dim for getting into fights when he was outnumbered and secluded, but his intentions seemed good.

“I can’t imagine doing that for someone that wasn’t special to me,” Alby said and he seemed to be digging at something.

“Oh come on,” Nikola scoffed, trying to throw him off. “I’m the one and only frail little girl here, so either they want to protect me or they’re what I need protected from.”

“And those scales could quickly tip out of your favor if you’re not careful,” Alby was trying to speak in some kind of passive yet meaningful coded language and Nikola was sick of it.

“You mean your rule about me not belonging to anyone?” She looked at him cold, hard, and flat. “Glad to know I’m not just another inanimate object that came up in the box, but I’m not a big fan of that rule all the same. I don’t want to harm anyone, I would never intentionally hurt someone, but that includes myself. I’m not going to put myself through pain just to cater to someone else’s warped idea of possession. If I want to be close to someone I should be able to, it doesn’t harm anyone, they have to be responsible for how they think and feel about things that don’t actually affect them.”

“In a perfect world that would work,” Alby said and she felt a big ‘but’ coming. “But this is not a perfect world-“

“So what!” Nikola burst. “Are you planning on staying here forever? When we get out of here there’s a whole big world out there that isn’t going to bend and cater to them and they should be learning now to handle that and be a part of that kind of society.”

Alby sighed and ran a hand over his face in frustration. “We’re getting off topic. Nikola, do you want to banish Shawn for what he did?”

“No,” She said easily, causing all three boys to look at her sharply, Gally getting a shooting pain in his neck from it.

“How can you say that?” he asked her.

“I don’t want boys banished because of me,” she shrugged easily. “What, you think they won’t start hating me for being the reason one of their friends is dead? That’s how they will see it. They’ll think I do things on purpose to get someone banished. No, no banishing boys because of me.”

Gally couldn’t believe it, he sat there staring at her dumbfounded.

“Alright then, you can go now,” Alby told her as he shook his head, looking a few years older since they first came in.

She was hesitant to get up and looked between him and Newt and then glanced over at Gally. Apparently they weren’t done with him.

“You’re excused,” Alby reiterated, earning a slight glare from her before she got up and left.

Gally felt the beating was only starting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was dark and the glade was quiet for once. Despite what he’d been through, Gally was awake. Maybe it was thanks to the nap he had taken earlier. He sat on the swing in the midnight air that was just right when nothing else was. He’d spent time in the gathering room with Alby and Newt, hearing it from both of them that he needed to keep his distance from Nikola and not get attached.

As if he could do that. He never told them just how attached he was, he never tried to tell them the rule sucked, nothing. He just sat there. Sat there hating the glade, hating Wicked more than anything, and missing her. He hadn’t seen her the rest of the evening since he’d been in no shape to work and went to his room to rest and get away from everyone else.

“Hey you,” a soft voice came from behind him, startling him slightly from his thoughts, but he calmed down as soon as delicate arms wrapped around his shoulders. “How are you doing?”

He placed a hand on Nikola’s arm and let a heavy breath out through his nose, glad it was her and not anyone else. “That’s a difficult question to answer,” he admitted, feeling her warmth against his back.

“Anything I can do to help?” she asked before kissing his cheek.

“I don’t know, I don’t think so,” he said glumly, leaning his head back against her shoulder.

“Are you sure?” She kissed just below his ear and he nearly fell off the swing.

“Nikola, Alby and Newt reamed me about being too close to you, we’ll only get in more trouble if we’re seen together like this,” he said even though it was the saddest thing in the world to tell her.

“Don’t worry about it,” she whispered in his ear. “Tonight no one will recognize me.”

Gally furrowed his brows at that and turned to see what she meant.

“Holy shuck, your hair,” he kept his exclamation quiet as he saw her pixie like hair cut. “Why did you do that?”

She came around and stood in front of him, her hands resting on his shoulders, her whole body exuding stress. “Because it really freaked me out!” she started explaining. “He had me and I couldn’t get away, I couldn’t get away to get help for you when you needed it, and I hated how that felt. I never want to feel that again.”

Gally reached up and touched her hair and her face.

“Am I ugly now?” she asked when he stayed quiet.

“Never,” he burst immediately and she grinned in the moonlight.

“Would you be terribly upset if someone thought they saw you kissing another boy on a dark night?” she asked as she leaned closer.

“I could live with it,” he admitted as he looked up at her.

She leaned down and just before her lips touched his he pulled back. “But first, can you tell me why you don’t want Shawn banished for what happened?”

She nuzzled his nose with a slightly exasperated sigh. “Because it would set a precedent, you mess with the girl you get banished. And if we’re ever caught like this, I can’t have you getting banished. Literally, they would have to banish me with you.”

“Really?” he asked in surprise.

“You tried to beat up three boys for something one of them said about me,” she pointed out. “So, yes… I love you too.”

He wasn’t prepared for those words. He’d never heard the word ‘love’ directed at anything but ‘I’d love an air conditioner’ and similar phrases. She was willing to live with Shawn so she wouldn’t have to live without him, if that wasn’t love Gally didn’t know what it could be.

He got up from the swing and hugged Nikola, hugged her close and tight and she hugged him too, though she tried to be gentle. He finally pulled back, brushed his nose against hers and then whispered, “I do love you,” before he kissed her and kissed her.

“You must be tired,” she said when they were standing with their foreheads pressed together.

“I’ll stay up all night,” he said, more serious than joking.

“You need rest to get better,” she lightly scolded him before tiptoeing to whisper in his ear. “Come on, let’s go to the med hut. We’ll say something hurt and you couldn’t get to sleep and I was helping you.”

Despite his better judgment, Gally did what he wanted to do. He walked hand in hand with her to the medhut, fumbled through the darkness until the found the cot and picked up where they’d left off. Her chest was his pillow and her fingers brushed through his hair until he fell into a deep, sweet sleep like he’d never gotten before.

~~~~~~

It was chaos in the morning. Despite telling them their pretty accurate and hardly dishonest reason for being in the med hut together all night, Alby was fuming and some other keepers were too.

Gally stood with Nikola as she seemed to square up against them. As much as she wanted to, she didn’t interrupt Alby’s old sermon about the not belonging rule and other complaints going around.

It was Gally that snapped this time.

“She doesn’t belong to me,” He said, loud enough for almost everyone to hear. “She belongs to herself unless she wants to choose otherwise. It’s a stupid rule to tell people who they can and can’t belong to, only they get to decide that. So all I can say is… that I belong to her.”

Nikola looked up at him with surprise. She’d never expected the independent, headstrong and proud Gally to show any kind of submission. But she remembered how he’d said ‘you’re my friend and I’m yours’. He was hers. He was hers.

That effectively shut everyone else up for a long minute. Naturally the first thing they did was call a gathering and that time they walked hand in hand to the hall, Nikola taking adoring peeks up at his grim and determined face.

They had to admit that they were more than friends in no uncertain terms and deal with the keepers reactions to that. But in the end, no one could make a sound argument against what Gally had said. The new rule was that they could be together, but if they could just not rub it in anyone’s face that’d be nice.

He climbed the ladder to her tower that night, a prince coming to his princess.

“Has it lost the thrill now that we don’t have to sneak around and keep it secret?” He asked as she laid on his chest this time.

“Absolutely, I’m so over it now,” she said sarcastically, poking him in the ribs as she giggled. “Of course not, silly.”

Gally had never been called silly before.

“I’m really glad it worked out,” she sighed as she traced a circle on his chest. “But most boy’s aren’t exactly thrilled.”

“I’ll beat them all up,” he said and she giggled again.

“All at once?” she asked skeptically.

“If I have to,” he said. “I’d do anything for you.”

He kissed the top of her head, his fingers threading through her short hair, liking how soft it was.

“Because you’re mine?” she asked, propping herself up to look at him, her gaze happy and hungry.

“Because I’m yours,” he confirmed, nuzzling her nose and feeling the response of her lips on his.

She was also his.

Possession Masterlist

@frequentlychangingfandoms @quackquackbi @poulterjonas @crazysheeplyca @pre-google @gladerscake @neilox @thesuitkovian @carp3d1em @cottoncandy-dreamxd @emilyhadenbaker

The next one I want to start is Gally's love story after he gets taken in by the right arm. We don't go outside the glade enough in TMR fics, we always sending extra girls in lol. I don;t mind, obviously I've done multiple ones just like that. But I thought would be fun to try something different

[wenellyb]

hey! every now and then i've seen random posts about sebastian's comment/s on colin kap kneeling among other things, but i've never seen any source material or hard facts. do you have any posts about this or deconstruction of your own? i'd be very interested, ty!

Hey yourself😉!

So I've found the screenshot of the post (at the bottom) and just so you know he also posted an apolology but that one I couldn't find a screenshot of.

There are plenty of posts talking about this but I think most of them are old so it would take some time for me to find them.

If you want my opinion. The whole thing was f*cked up and I remember being extremely surprised and unfollowing him after that post.

And he did apologize, which is good and I do think he understands that that post was not great, but it wasn't my main issue.

When the whole story with Kaepernick happened it was a real eye opener and exposed a lot of racists even among celebrities. I'm looking at you Christopher Meloni. But not only him.

So Colin Kaepernick was to kneeling to protest against police violence and racism.

And a lot of people reacted like a lot of White people react when the topic of racism arise: deny everything and get defensive "How dare he protest blablabala" "He's so rich and he's saying White people are priviledged..." "How dare he say there is racism in this country". You know the usual.

But the thing is to me, the way he protested was the most respectful, and most peaceful way to protest and also so impactful. And some people had still a problem with it...I don't understand how ANYBODY could have a problem with it ... unless they were racist in one way or the other. That was the bar for me... I could not have respect ANYBODY who had a problem with him kneeling, because their message was clear “just sh*t up and play football”.

To me, anybody who had a problem with Colin Kaepernick taking a knee... was automatically problematic and the worst.

For other forms of protests there can always be arguments against it, lousy arguments, but arguements nevertheless: "They're blocking the streets" "There was violence during the protest",... etc... But what is your argument with having a man kneel during the National Anthem, to call out something as serious as police brutality.

To me it was clear that they just wanted Black Americans to shut up, and stay in their lane. "Sports have nothing to do with politics blablabla"

And unfortunately history proved Colin Kaepernick right, and I don't think anybody could voice bad opinions about him today, but at the time, a lot of people were criticizing him, calling him names, insulting him, and even some celebrities were talking about how disrespectful he was.

They cared more about the way he was voicing his protest, than the fact that racism was a real issue.

And because of the protests last year, I think a lot of people tend to forget about that time, but Kaepernick faced A LOT of backlash, A LOT and for what....??? Absolutely no justification. With the way some people reacted you would have thought he burned the American flag on a daily basis, or used it as toilet paper.

So having that in mind, it was really disheartening to see an actor you respect take part in that...

And just to be clear, this is my personal opinion, but I don't think Sebastian had any bad intention with that post (not like other celebrities who were outright criticizing Kaepernick, for some reason I only remember Chris Meloni lol). But the timing, and the content, even as a joke, even as a promotion tool for his movie was extremely bad. You also have to understand the context, and how there were a lot of people rooting against Kap.

Worst case scenerio Seb’s post was racist and best case scenario it was tone deaf.

I can only assume Sebastian watches the news in the US, so he must have known what the caption "take a knee" meant and still decided to post it... So maybe he wasn't ill-intentioned, but to him the topic was light enough that he could post it on his social media...

My main problem isn't even with Seb's post, it was a weird way to promote his movie, or a joke I don’t know. Artists do problematic stuff all the time, and it's up to the fans who support them to decide if they keep doing supporting him or not.

My main problem was and still is the reaction of the fandom, where White Seb stans think they know and understand racism better than anyone else. And honestly this is not me saying that Seb is racist, this is me saying that we should be allowed to voiced our opinions without being silenced or accused of trying to villainize him or cancel him blablabla .

But the Seb stans don't understand that and prefer to turn a blind eye.

I make difference between stans and fans. The Seb fans are the ones who are willing to listen, understand why some people might be offended and admit that their fav f*cked up. The stans are the annoying ones who yould rather keep their head in the sand.

And nobody is even asking to stop supporting Seb... If I cancel an actor, I will stop consuming his content, supporting him, paying to see his movies etc... But I'm not forcing anybody else to do it... But I would like to be free to voice my dislikes especially if that actor was being problematic... without the stans complaining about how "I don't know their fave"

I haven't cancelled Seb btw, I just don't feel like finding him excuses and glossing over the words and if I think that something he did was racist, I will say that it was racist, not "problematic" or "tactless" or "clumsy"...

I think that a lot of people are confused about what racism is, and think it is only White Supremacists who want to harm all non White people.

But it's not only that and in my opinion, there are many layers to racism. If you have "nothing against Blacl people" but there is a part of you that believes you or White people are better than Black people, well you are racist... If not hiw would you describe it? I have already told this story, but I have a friend who swore she wasn't racist and we even had a big debate about racism, and a few weeks later, her boyfriend told me that during a family dinner, she had talked about a common Black friend of theirs saying "She is pretty for a Black girl"... But if you ask my friend, she will say she isn't racist.

If you try to silence people calling out racism, you are contributing to it instead of fighting it.

Another example, I received a lot of "problematic" comments at work from coworkers on my hair, my origins etc, but when I talked about it to my friends and said those comments were racists.. they said that I was "overeacting" that those comments were harmless or just my colleagues being "ignorant". But one time, I was done with it and I wrote to HR about it losting all the comments I had received and the HR director called me and told me that those comments were racist full stop, he didn't try to minimize it or act like I was exagerrating.

And that's how I see the reactions of Seb stans whenever something from him re-sufaces, like my friends who just act like it is nothing.

Just so you know you are not helping when you do that.

They act as if we're suppoosed to accept that because "it's not that big of a deal". Who told you that? How do you determine what is a big deal or not? Especially when you have never dealt with racism?

Fandom behaves as if people who were hurt or offended by that post were overracting. "It was a joke" "It was a long time ago" "He would never do somthing racist"

How hard is it to say " I can see that my fave did something problematic, or that what he did was racist, and I would still like to support him but I understand that people were hirt"??? How hard is it to continue to stan your fave WITHOUT trying to silence people who call out the behavior.

And also the way they refuse to use the words is annoying... it's always "I'm sorry if anybody was offended", never "What I did/wrote was racist and I know better now". If no one wants to admit it when they do racist stuff... nobody will never get anywhere... Like my friend who is convinced that she isn't racist but goes around thinking that White Women are more beautiful than Black Women, and even says it when surrounded by her family. 

And people act like the people who were hurt have no reason to be hurt because he apologized, but I hope those people realize that it doesn’t work that way. An apology is great of course, but it doesn’t take out the hurt, or the feeling that if he was comfortable enough sharing this on social media, what is he comfortable doing in the safety of his close circle?, or remove the idea that maybe an actor you adored, and respected doesn’t view Black people struggles as a serious matter.

I personally don't hate Seb, far from it. And the reason why I have so many posts about him, calling him out or not, is that he is one of the very few White actors I'm interested in. I don't know him personally, but I enjoy his interviews with Anthony and enjoy his movies. But I'm not about to act like he is perfect like some of his stan do and also I have absolutely no issue with people who have "cancelled" him because of his past behavior, because I understand them and it's their choice, it's what works best for them... I don't want to force them to root for someone who maybe wouldn't root for us.

Last point, that I won't elaborate because I have already written way to much. There's a difference between people actively trying to be racist, and people who are racist and maybe don't realize it, or people who have prejudice but are working on it...

I hate it when White people act like the worst thing in the world is being accused of racism when the actual worst thing in the world is being racist. Because it shifts the conversation from... "Oh how can I improve myself and stop this racist thing I'm doing, or how can I work on this prejudice I have?" to "How dare you call me racist!!! I would never" all the while they continue doing the racist thing they do.

TL:DR: His Instagram post was f*cked up, and he apologized. And it's up to each person to decide if they still want to support him or not, but it would be great if thise who still support him stopped pretending that those whose don't are overreacting or had no reason of being offended.

[nyctophilin]

Stay Winning

@txtmoalove​⤀ Hey! As for my first request here , can I request a Felix smut? Something that'll include voice kink for his deep voice? 🥺 Maybe even an enemies to lover's au! I hope it's not too much !! 💕

Description⤀  He was always making remarks about her and making fun of her work. He was speculating about how her work was always chosen as the best and was creating rumors. She despised him. Or did she?

All rights reserved © nyctophilin 2020. Re-posting, copying and translating any of my works is prohibited.

Pairing⤀ Felix x fem!Reader

Word count⤀ 3k

Genre⤀ Office!AU, Enemies to lovers, Smut, Angst(?)

Warnings⤀ dom!felix, grinding, fingering, spanking, unprotected penetration, spelling/grammar mistakes 

Pearl Note⤀ This was so fun to write. I really hope you like it! Please don’t hesitate to tell me what you think!

      “This concludes our meeting today. I’ll see everyone again on Wednesday at the same hour. Mrs L/N and Mr Lee I want you both to present your ideas and we will see which we can choose or if we have to combine them. Have a good day everyone!” Mr Bang spoke as he got up from his chair and left the room to go to his next meeting. Everyone else started gathering their things right after the CEO left and a general bustle settled in the room. Disturbing screeching sounds were made by the pushed chairs of the people who hurriedly wanted to reach either the cafeteria or their cubicles to get some more work done.

      Y/N wasn’t in a hurry like everyone else. She gathered her things calmly and was the last to leave the meeting room carelessly making her way towards her cubicle to leave the unnecessary things there before going for lunch. The clicking of her hills could be heard every time she stepped on the marble floors. Upon reaching her destination she left everything on the desk and took her purse with her.

      She walked up to another cubicle and used her knuckles to knock on the plastic walls. The raven-haired man lifted his eyes from the manuscript he was currently trying to check and a smile coated his facial features at the sight of her. “Can I steal you from your work for half an hour so we can eat? I’m paying.” She brought her purse to the same level as her face as further reassurance to the man that she meant what she said.

      “I thought you’ll never ask. I was starving there!” The man got up from his chair abandoning his files on the desk and put one arm around her shoulders. “Lead the way, Ma’am!” Y/N chuckled at his childish gesture and they both started walking towards the cafeteria. “How did the meeting go?” The man asked when they sat down at a table in the busy room.

      “It went well. Mr Kang is really excited to work with us and he thinks that everything will turn out great.” She hummed satisfied after taking a bite from her food. She will always be grateful to Mr Bang for choosing to actually give a shit about his employee’s health. Immediately after a bittersweet taste let itself in her mouth. “I have to work against Felix for marketing though. Mr Bang said he’ll choose whichever he likes best so I have to work hard to beat that loser.” She was squeezing the chopsticks in her hand at the thought of him.

      “Why does it matter that much? It’s not like there are infinite ways to market a book and Mr Bang seems to be fond of your work. If he wins once what is so bad about that?” Y/N sighed at her friend’s naive statement.

      “Jeongin, let’s say you are in a really good soccer team and you always win. Would you let the other team win once just because you did so many times before? If I purposely don’t do a good job right now, Mr Bang might think that my skills are not as good anymore which might result in me getting fewer opportunities to work on books that I really like. Plus that little shit is always trying to pick a fight with me.” She rolled her eyes when she remembered the kind of treatment she gets from her superior.

      “You always say that. What does he even say that get you so worked up all the time?” Jeongin’s question was a genuine one. He has worked at the publishing company for over two years now and ever since Y/N has started working there a year and a half ago he can’t remember one time when the two weren’t at each other’s throats. At first, he thought the rivalry between the two was because they both had the same job and it was normal for them to want they work to get chosen but then he realised that it was more than that.

      “He always looks down on me and thinks that just because he is older and has been working there longer his ideas should be chosen more often. ‘Even a kindergarten student could think of that.’, ‘He chose you just as an encouragement.’, ‘Maybe if I also had a short skirt Mr Bang would choose me as well.’...”

      “Don’t forget about the cleavage.” A deep voice suddenly ringed in her ear making her jump in surprise. She immediately turned her head in that direction and her nose was only one centimetre away from Felix’s nose.

      “What?” This is all she could say since she was still shaken by his deep voice in her ear.

      Felix got up from his bent position and a smirk tugged at his lips when he realised the effect his sudden appearance had on her. “I also say about the cleavage. I’m pretty sure that if I had boobs I’ll get just as many deals as you.” His eyes travelled from her face down to where her shirt had the first two buttons undone. He visibly licked his lips at the sight before looking back at her eyes and winking.

      His eyes made her uncomfortable but she stood her ground and rolled her eyes back at his gesture. “Oh sweety, it’s so funny that this is what you tell yourself to feel better about your failure. We both know that Mr Bang doesn’t do this kind of thing. And unlike you, he does not need to get on my good side. I’d fuck him even if he was choosing your work.” A fake smile was painting her lips as she finished talking. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish eating so I can go back to making a better marketing strategy than yours.” She turned back towards Jeongin and continued eating her food.

      As she heard his steps getting farther away from her she let out a breath she was holding in for a long time. She hated the way his voice affected her. He might be an asshole but damn he had a nice voice. She ignored the moist feeling that started forming between her legs and continued talking with Jeongin about different topics the rest of their lunch break.

      Y/N let out a sigh and rubbed the back of her neck trying to ease the pain she was feeling. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to calm the burning sensation from looking at the computer screen for too long. It was currently 11:36 PM on a Tuesday and she was still in the office. For the last couple of days, she didn’t have enough inspiration to work on a marketing strategy for Mr Kang’s book that would satisfy her so she just did something lousy in order not to show up with nothing. An hour prior, however, she got a really good idea and she had to stay over program to do it.

      She was pretty sure there wasn’t anyone else in the office with her at that hour and if there was they were far away from her and awfully quiet. She stretched her tired arms moaning at the pleasurable sensation of tension leaving her body after a long time. She leaned back on her leather chair deciding to take a short break from work for a few minutes. She kicked her stiletto’s off her feet letting another moan leave her lips at the free sensation. She really hated hills for always making her uncomfortable and hurting her feet.

      She closed her eyes and started humming a calming melody while trying to relax both her brain and her body. “I see that you are enjoying yourself.” The same deep voice that annoyed and turned her on so much was heard in the room and she opened her eyes with an exasperated sigh.

      “What are you doing here?” She questioned him as she turned her chair towards the door of her cubicle.

      “I heard you moaning and I told myself that it is impossible for sweet perfect Y/N to be masturbating on the job. The second time I had to come check it myself.” Y/N rolled her eyes and looked to the side sucking her cheeks in. She absolutely despised the way his voice could soak her and his words could make her want to stab him with a pencil.

      “Are you serious right now? That’s low even for you.” She was so done with his bullshit.

      “You are right. It would have been more logic to think that you were in here with Mr Bang. I doubt he would take you to his house.” She rolled her eyes at his words before getting up abruptly.

      “You know that you are really pathetic? Just because someone else took something YOU think you deserve that doesn’t mean they did something unethical to obtain it. I don’t care what you think about me as a person but. Don’t. Insult. My. Work!” She was now right in front of him and she pushed her index finger against his chest when she said the last few words. “You are 23 years old and you behave like a pre-teen. Making comments about my work and the way I talk and my clothes. Do my clothes bother you in any way?”

      Y/N lets out a yelp as Felix picks her up and carries her to her desk and harshly puts her down, definitely making some of the papers on it to wrinkle. He leaves a trail of kisses from her jaw to her ear before speaking. “Do your clothes bother me? They sure as hell do, darling! How do you think I feel every time I see your thigh ass in one of your pencil skirts or when you have your boobs out for everyone to see?” His deep voice was vibrating in her ear making an involuntary moan leave her mouth. Her private parts already started becoming wet and that was just from a few words from him.

      She tried freeing herself from his grip wanting to escape from that embarrassing situation. Her pathetic attempts only stirred Felix more and a sound resembling a growl left his throat. The sound went right through her cunt and she pushed her thighs together while throwing her head back and letting a groan out. Felix raised an eyebrow as he looked at her ecstatic form. He let another groan out and when he noticed the way her body jolted a smirk appeared on his face.

      “Do you like my voice darling? Does it turn you on? Is this why you always get flustered every time we fight?” His voice went an octave lower if that was possible and Y/N smashed their lips together taking the male by surprise. She desperately pushed her tongue into his mouth wanting nothing more than to shut him up so she can regain her composure.

      Y/N backed away leaving his lips for only a second before he forced her back into the kiss. With one hand he grabbed her thigh and yanked her towards him pressing their hips together and tilted her back more. The contact of her drenched pussy with his already erect shaft had her bucking her hips against him. A delicious groan left his lips and Y/N whimpered into the kiss repeating her action.

      Fed up with her actions Felix pushed her to lay on the desk, the sudden contact with the wooden surface making the oxygen leave her lungs for a few seconds. His hand made its way up her inner thigh until it reached her dripping core. Upon feeling her wetness through her panties a smirk appeared on his face. “Fuck, you are already so wet, darling. And all from my voice, just like a slut.” She whimpered at his words and bucked her hips into his hands desperately needing to feel any sort of relieve.

      A loud noise echoed through the empty office as his hand smacked her thigh in an attempt to make her stop moving. “Now darling, stay put or I won’t touch you!”

      “Fuck you!” She spit taking one of her hands and placing it over her clothed heat. If he won’t help her then she will do it herself.

      “Oh darling, trust me. I will!” Felix harshly yanked her hand from her sensitive parts and in a swift motion, he stripped her of her panties. His touches were feather-like as he explored her cunt for the first time. He felt his dick jolt at how wet she was and without warning pushed two digits inside her. Y/N let out a surprised yelp both her hands instantly grabbing his and her back arching dramatically. “Fuck, I wish you could see the way your pussy swallows my fingers so eagerly. Can’t wait to get my dick in there.” His voice was raspy and a pleasurable shiver crossed her body.

      “Maybe if you stopped fucking talking we would actually get there.” She was moving her hips on her own making his fingers go in and out of her dripping pussy. A dark aura enveloped him at her words and he started pumping his fingers at an impossibly fast pace. Breathy moans and occasional groans were leaving her mouth as she struggled not to squirm around too much.

      Y/N could feel a knot forming in her stomach and she started moving her hips in time with Felix’s hand. Feeling her cunt squeeze his fingers desperately he caught on the fact that she was close and he removed his fingers from inside her at once.

      “You asshole! Why did you…” She couldn’t finish her sentence cause Felix flipped her over pushing her face into the desk.

      “Did you really think I would let you cum on my fingers after you cried for my dick like a slut? You better stop complaining and take what I give you.” She heard how he unbuckled his belt and the faint sound of a zipper before feeling his head slide over her moist lips. Felix bent down over her and inserted his shaft in slowly giving her time to get used to his girth. He let out delicious groans as he felt her tight cunt squeeze around him and her sense went in overdrive from him groaning in her ear.

      His dick stretched her perfectly and she bit her bottom lip suppressing a moan. When he bottomed inside her, he stilled for a few moments under the pretext of giving her time to adjust to him but in reality, he was afraid that if he moved he’ll come instantly just like a teenage boy having sex for the first time. Soon after Y/N tapped his hand urging him to start moving. He started moving slowly, savouring every moment he was inside of her.

      Moving his hands in front of her, he ripped open her shirt somehow managing not to bust any buttons. He pulled her bra down and pinched her erect nipples adding on to her pleasure. His trusts became more urgent and he smacked her right boob ripping a moan out of her. He moved her hips in sync with his, meeting him halfway. She could feel the knot forming again in her stomach and she grabbed the edge of the desk for support.

      “Felix, I’m cuming!” Y/N managed to breathe out between moans.

      Felix moved his hand to her clit and started circling it frantically bringing her closer to her release. “Cum darling!” The ringing of his voice in her ear tipped her over the edge and she released with a loud moan that she was sure could be heard from a few blocks away.

      Felix quickened his pace chasing his own high and overstimulating her at the same time. Y/N’s cunt was squeezing him so heavenly that he thrusted a few more times before pulling out and releasing on her ass. The office was filled with their heavy breaths as they both tried coming down from their highs.

      “Y/N, what are you doing here?” Jeongin gave her a concerned look, confusion present on his face.

      “What am I doing in my own cubicle?” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm as she turned around in her chair to look at him.

      “No, I mean what are you doing here now? Didn’t the meeting for the marketing strategy started 48 minutes ago?” His eyebrows were furrowed and he checked his watch a few times in a row to make sure that he was correct.

      “I told Mr Bang that I came up with no idea and I would rather not take part in the meeting. Plus they have Felix there, it’s not like they actually need me if I got nothing.” She said that nonchalantly turning back on her chair to resume her previous activity.

      “Why would y…”

      Before the man could finish his sentence Felix stormed inside and went to hug Y/N tightly. “Thank you so much, darling! Mr Bang loved the idea. I promise I will make it up to you. Now I have to go. We have a meeting with Mr Kang to present the strategy to him. Love you!” The man cupped her face and placed a tender kiss on her lips before hurriedly getting out and completely ignoring Jeongin.

      Y/N turned her head towards the entrance of the cubicle and noticed how Jeongin was leaning against the plastic wall, hands crossed and a smirk on his lips. She bit her bottom lip before gulping visibly.

      “So tell me Y/N, what was that thing with the soccer team?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

      “Oh, please! Like I actually know anything about soccer!”

[trashiewrites]

The Clueless Bachelor and Bachelorette

(Bruno Bucciarati x Reader)

An: hey everyone, I know this is very different content then CoD but I do want to extend my reaches to other fandoms! I'll still be writing CoD but I'll also reach to maybe other games and anime. I hope yal all enjoy my first published Jojo Fic.

There a lot of responsibility when being a Capo for Passione. Taking orders from the boss, controlling a specific area. The last thing Bruno expected when to deal with constant female attention.

Ahh yes, at the prime age of 20. Perfect age for once to start looking for a partner. Undoubtedly, upon the bachelor's list was his truly, Bucciarati. He really couldn't deny that he's attractive but to say he comes with perks was an understatement. If one was to look at the list it would be quite easy to see that.

Walking down the busy streets of Naples with Girno was even a chore. Next thing a group of young women will be walking down the street "Bucciarati!" To look over at a groupie and see the one that (in his opinion) wasn't very attractive waving at him. He wishes he could ignore all of it, but he has a reputation to keep.

"Girls really have been after you huh Bucciarati?" Bruno look back to the newbie, his brow frowned in the slightest hint of annoyance.

"Tell me about it Giorno... I don't know what happened but I've been getting called at by women all the time now." In the distance again, hearing his name be called. This time he wasn't even bothered to look, he just waved. "I mean at first the attention was nice but I can barely go outside without a woman trying to seduce me."

"I feel that, the curse of being pretty I guess..." Giorno shrugged, Bruno could only sigh. "Let's head back to the others, at least give you a break from outside."

"That sounds like a splendid idea."

As the two walked in the the cafe the gang usually hangs, they enter to see the three huddled. Huddled against a magazine. "Wow, they really have a lot to say about Bucciarati!" Narancia moved his head closer to the book.

"Hey watch it! I'm trying to read too!" Mista pushed Narancia's head away.

"What are you all reading?"

"Oh hey, boss?" Mista closes the magazine and pulls it behind him.

"Mista! What the hell! I was reading it!" Narancia pulled on Mista's arm, getting up and personal.

"Like hell you are! You probably can barely read dumbass!" Abbacchio sighed as the two were two seconds away to pulling out the stands.

"To answer you Bucciarati, they're reading that new Local Bachelors and Bachelorette magazine."

"And I'm in it?" Bruno whispered to himself, "hand it over you two!" Mista seemed hesitant, it couldn't be that bad right? "Now, Mista" sticky fingers began to appear from over Bucciarati's shoulder. He shoved it into Bruno's hands and stormed off elsewhere. Bruno felt bad but was too intrigued by this magazine mystery to pursue it.

He gently flipped to the pages to reach the number 1 bachelor and "This is worse then I thought..." Giorno peered in, looking from the side. He noticed how much was written exactly. And well the pics were certainly something.

"Bucciarati, do you remember taking those photos? How did they get ahold of them?" The be frank, Bruno was busy reading the almost a thirst essay about himself to even notice the picture.

Giving the pictures a glance he was surprised he recognized them.

"I remember these..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunlight shined softly down the busy Italian streets. Tourist and locals alike enjoying the beauty of the day. Bucciarati took a sip from his glass, "nothing better then a cold glass of wine on a day like this. " he would get the occasional hello from locals he knew as well as glances by curious tourists.

One person, in particular, came up to him. A young women, maybe around her late 20's with a camera around her neck. "Signore, if I may ask. May I take a few photos of you? I'm an artist and I often take pictures of things that inspire me!" To any human being the request would be rather offputting. Indeed it was, at least to Bruno. But a normal person would also decline the offer. Bucciarati didn't see the harm of a few photos, if anything he'd call himself quite photogenic despite his semi-cold demeanor. Plus to deprive an artist of inspiration didn't sit right with him; so he agreed.

~~~~~~~~~

"That artist lied... or she sold my pictures. Either or isn't good, but damn..." Bruno skimmed through the pages. Person after person, some of them he even knew. He stopped on one page and well maybe call it fate but it was the page of the number 1 Bachelorette. Giorno auditable gasped as the sight.

"She's very beautiful... I see why they placed so highly..." Mista and Narancia came from the other side taking peaks.

"Yo, you're right Giorno! She is really beautiful. Father owns a successful flower shop too!" Narancia's cheeks turned slightly red. Mista closed his eyes, humming to himself as if he was fantasizing about something.

"Girl has looks, money, and property. She's a guy's dream girl honestly!" Bruno slammed the magazine closed, proceeding to roll it up. Then uses Sticky Fingers to smack him to the ground. "HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?"

"How dare you think like that Mista. Loving someone for their 'perks'..." Bucciarati stared down upon Mista, disappointment, and guilt filling Mista's soul.

Bruno just took the magazine and left. He needed time to make sense of all of it... "geeze Mista... nice to know who you really are!" Giorno snickered as he took a seat at a near by table.

"Guys, I wasn't talking of myself!!! Come on, I would never!"

~~~~~

Bruno wondered the town, just processing it all. All this attention wasn't out of the kindness of people's hearts. It was some lousy list that said he had perks... To now have to wonder if he was being used was a terrifying thought.

"Please, let me go... I don't want this at all!" Bruno was returning to reality. Overhearing 2 people talking in the alleyways.

"Oh come on beautiful, I've got a lot to offer!"

"I'm sure you do, but I am not wanting a relationship! Please for away! I don't even know you!" Her hands try to wiggle free but she was what Bruno could assume was pinned.

"Look missy, think about your answer real carefully. If you don't date me ill-"

"You'll what?" Bruno stood firmly at the alley entrance. The man turned to see him, catching a glimpse of the girl as well. (H/c) hair laced with small flowers, (s/t) skin, as well of (e/c) eyes.

"Its none of your business buddy! So how about you leave me and my girlfriend alone!" Bruno continued to walk closer, his expression as blank as he could manage. "H-Hey! I said stay back!"

"You know I find it amusing when scum like you exist in this world. The least you can do is accept the girl has no feelings for you."

"Like you know shit pal!"

"I heard it all, the entire conversation. As well, the fear upon her face right now speaks wonders." Bruno's steps were heavy, each one making a distinct clack.

"I said stay back you bastard!!" He dragged the poor girl by the hair restraining her arms. Sliding a knife from his own pocket, placing it above her throat.

"Sticky Fingers!" The girl closed her eyes as the blue figure hit the man square in the face. Knocking him down the alley. The guy cowards back, confused beyond belief "next time don't try to force yourself upon a harmless girl. Or do I need to beat the lesson into you?"

"No! No no no! I'm sorry I'm sorry! Please spare me!!"

"Then run." The man ran off in a rush, terror riddled his face as the bruises started to solidify. The screams echoed as he ran into the darkness. Bruno turned back the the girl, she stood against the wall paralyzed from fear. "Hey, are you okay? Did he hurt you?" She shook her head. Taking a good look the most harm was some scratches and maybe a few bruises, nothing life-threatening. Bruno tilted his head, she looked familiar.

"Uh.. mister, thank you for your help. I was really scared that guy was gonna hurt me." She clutched to her basket filled with different flowers. She picked out a small white lily from the batch, extending it to him. "Men back and forth have been cat-calling me all day. It's quite overwhelming." Her smile showed a sparkle of pure innocence. Bruno clutched his first, glancing at the magazine he held. It struck him, it was her, the flower shop's daughter.

"I believe I can show you why this is happening. Come with me and we can tend your wounds as well." The girl looked up in admiration. A shy smile as well as heated cheeks. She took his hand as a quiet acceptance. "Pardon my manners, I'm Bruno Bucciarati. It's my pleasure miss?"

"(L/n), (y/n) (l/n). I owe you my life, Signore."

AN: I might make a part 2... not sure

[acciofanfics]

You Owe Me An Essay (Sirius Black x Reader)

Request: Can you do a Sirius x reader where they pay Sirius to go out with the reader and she finds out and it’s angst but Sirius catches feelings for her so it ends with fluff (or smut you can choose)

Pairing: Young Sirius Black x FemReader

Warnings: Bribery, a bit of angst

Word Count: 1235

A/N: It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything kinda angsty so it’s probably not top shelf, but hopefully it’s all okay and not too OOC. Requests are open! - S

——————————————————————

Sure (Y/N) was attractive, but she just wasn’t Sirius’ type. She was a bit of a goody... too concerned about studying. He’d only really had a few conversations with her in passing, but Sirius wondered in those times how she ended up a Gryffindor instead of a Ravenclaw. “No, ask Moony to do it.”

“No! It has to be you, Lily said (Y/N) has a crush on Sirius not Remus. I need you to do it!” James begged. Lily had agreed to go to Hogsmeade this coming weekend if he could produce a date for her friend, (Y/N). She also let it slip that her friend fancied Sirius for some reason. He wasn’t sure why Sirius had to be so difficult. (Y/N) was pretty enough and it was just one date.... he’d been on plenty before. “Come on! I’ll write an essay of your choosing and I’ll actually try on it!”

“Fine...” Sirius gave in, “You’ll also be buying a round of butter beer.”

The weekend came quickly; James was quite a bit more excited than Sirius. Actually, Sirius was having second thoughts... this seemed wrong, “Can’t you just tell them I’m sick or something?”

“It’s one date, Sirius.... two essays?” James pleased and raised his pay. He just needed one double date and he’d score major brownie points with Lily.

Sirius would’ve continued arguing with his friend; he was certain that he could probably get out of it or at least get James up to a week of homework. However, Sirius didn’t have time to keep it up before their dates descended down the stairs. Sirius supposed there would be no way to get out of it now. Maybe it wouldn’t be as terrible as he thought.

It wasn’t... in fact, it wasn’t 30 minutes before James and Lily felt like they were intruding. It was quite surprising to Sirius, he’d been under the impression that they would probably have a few brief awkward conversations and they would end the day knowing approximately no more about each other than when the day first started. Fortunately Sirius had been quite wrong. He mentioned that he and James were working on a hair dyeing prank and (Y/N) asked if they’d considered adding hair-raising potion to their concoction. Sirius might’ve fallen in love... it seemed unlikely, but perhaps he was wrong about (Y/N).

It’d been exactly one week and three days since their trip to Hogsmeade and Sirius was happy to report that he had seen a lot more of (Y/N). He was actively working with her on theories of how to make a potion that would would turn someone’s hair hot pink and stand up straight on top of their head. Actually, Sirius was planning on asking her out again, there was only one problem... charms homework, “You said essay of my choosing and I’m choosing charms.”

James scowled, “I just didn’t think you’d cash in so quickly.”

“Oh stop whining. I did my part and went out with (Y/N), now pay up and have that essay done by Monday, okay?”

(Y/N) froze... she had definitely not desired to eavesdrop on them. She would’ve been completely okay not turning down that corridor and never hearing that conversation. She bit back her tears and turned on her heels. She just needed to find Lily and ask her to cover for her in a few classes.

It had been hard, but (Y/N) was able to keep her tears at bay until she was sitting on the docks of the Black Lake. She was thankful no one really visited the body of water, the silence was soothing and she was more than thrilled to have a space where she wouldn’t need to explain away her tears. No, it was much nicer to get all of the sobbing done and out of the way... now she just sat looking at the glittering water.

Did she harbor a crush on Sirius Black? Absolutely, but she was skeptical about going with him to Hogsmeade too. (Y/N) let Lily talk her into it, saying it would be fun, and it had been, but maybe that’s what made it so much worse. It made her nauseous to think someone she thought so much of could fake a blossoming relationship that felt so genuine to her.

“Hey.” Sirius took a spot beside her on the docks.

(Y/N) didn’t need to look up from the water to know who the voice belonged to. She also didn’t want him to have the satisfaction of seeing her puffy eyes, “If you get an essay for a date, what do you get for whatever this is supposed to be?”

Lily had been furious with James and Sirius when she’d found out. Rightfully so, Sirius had even felt a little scummy about himself before anyone knew. Now that he could see (Y/N) he felt like the algae at the bottom of the lake they were staring at, “Its meant to be an apology... I’m hoping you might let me explain myself.”

“Seems pretty cut and dry to me, but go ahead if it’ll make you feel better.”

“James did offer to do my homework to go out with you, but I really did enjoy it. You’re smart, funny... hopefully nice enough to forgive me.... I wouldn’t have kept hanging around you for a lousy essay.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, “WOW. Thanks, I’m honored really. It makes me feel loads better that you had to be paid to want to get to know me, but now I’m not that bad... must not be that great though. You still wanted the payment you earned.”

She didn’t have to forgive him at all, especially not quickly, and Sirius was well aware that he deserved all of this. He still hated it though... he couldn’t imagine how she felt. “I only wanted him to do it so I could ask you out for real this weekend AND I know there’s no reason for you to believe me so I stole some veritaserum from Slughorn. I’ll take it and you can ask whatever you want.”

She grabbed his hand before Sirius could retrieve the vial from his cloak and sighed, “Could you just try and be honest without the veritaserum?”

“Yes...”

“Why was going out with me such a burden to start with?” She wasn’t sure if she really wanted his answer, or if she’d be able to believe him when she got it.

“According to Lily it’s because I’m a right foul git.” Sirius tried to lighten the mood just a bit, “I mean I’ve always thought you were pretty, I just kinda thought that was it. I mean I just assumed you’d be kind of a stick in the mud and we wouldn’t really have a lot in common.”

(Y/N) supposed she bought his story. Who would lie and still make themselves out to be such a jerk. “And now you think what?”

“That Lily was right and I’m a git.” Sirius offered up a sincere apologetic smile. “I really am sorry and I would like to take you out on a proper date whenever you find that I deserve your forgiveness.”

“I’ll go out with you on one condition... I’ll be taking that essay James owes you.” (Y/N) chuckled a bit and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek; he’d have to work a bit harder on the weekend for anything else.

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Four)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Three ※※※※※ Chapter Five

I absorbed and enjoyed the silence that was hovering around my house. I grabbed a glass of juice and sat down on the couch on the balcony. My mom left early for work, and Leah even tried to take me along for a photo shoot she was going to do in Venice. But, honestly, I'm not in the mood for dragging plaster casts around under the sun.

Not to mention that it is good to have moments alone to get my head straight. I know that in a little while it will be even harder to escape from these outings, I mean, I know I have to get back to my routine, but as long as I can avoid it, I will.

I put the juice on the table and pick up my diary. Unlike yesterday, I open it to the first page, like a book, and start reading. I go through a few pages about my feelings, about what I planned about my future, about my parents' divorce.

"I know it was inevitable. Anyone could tell how distant they were, I just didn't want it to be like that, that she suffered the same way I did. And I didn't want to feel that anger from him. But deep down, I know it's for the best.".

A few more pages telling about the scout who had seen me at the mall, the first photo shoot, the first runway show for a small clothing brand. Then arriving at the day I met Ashton.

"That one nobody expected/imagined/sought for. Ashton Irwin is my yoga partner!!! Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Oh my gosh, I never would have imagined that. I was dying of nervousness about being the new student, then he comes and offers to be my duo and oh gosh, he's amazing. Super fun and nice. AND HE CALLED ME UP FOR COFFEE ON SUNDAY.

" Ashton and I sat at a table on the sidewalk. Under the table, I snapped my fingers in nervousness as I read the menu.

- Do you already know what you are going to order? - he asks. I pout and nod my head in denial.

- All I know is that I don't want espresso. - I comment.

- Can I recommend one? I think you'll like it, it's whipped with cream and chocolate, very sweet. - He points to the menu after I accept his suggestion.

- It amazes me how good you are at coffee. - I joke, making him laugh.

- I like coffee. I once took a tour of a coffee farm in the countryside right here in California.

Coffee becomes our first topic. Because he knows and understands coffee, Ashton convinces me to do a tasting at a promising coffee shop in Brentwood the next morning. It was not the kind of program I am used to doing, but everything is different now, my life has changed and so have my types of programs.

- You are lost being my friend, I will call you all morning for breakfast together. - Ashton comments as we drive along the sidewalks of Los Angeles.

My body shakes when it hears the word "friend". I still wasn't sure if I could consider Ash a friend, but now, I'm happy to know that I can and that he considers me too. "

The memory warms and cheers me up, giving me more desire to read and remember.

I don't realize how much I was smiling until my cheeks start to hurt. After that day, his name becomes very frequent, until it joins Leah's.

"I don't know how to explain this girl. She came in so confident and nose to nose, I was sure she would be insufferable, then she opened her mouth and all I could think was 'where has she been all my life? ' And I don't want to get my hopes up or be a pain in the ass, but she's also a model and she talked about me going to her father's agency and if that works out? it's one of the biggest agencies in the world, I'm going to take off. God, if this is your will...".

I laugh at the following narrations that already involve Ashton, Noah and Leah. I can't remember what is written, but my imagination gives me a warm, happy feeling in my body. And if the reality has been as fun and nice as what I imagined, then it was very good.

I feel my body shiver and a chill take over my stomach when I see Luke's name for the first time. I cut the pace of my reading, preparing myself for what was to come. I reach for another glass of juice, buying time and even courage to read the rest.

"I had already noticed him looking at me, I just didn't want to believe he was looking at me, and it was perfect like that, until Ashton brought him in. It's one thing to know who Luke is, it's another to talk to him. In the end it wasn't so bad. I guess. I just stared for the first hour at anything but him, but I guess he must have missed it. Now I'm in the dilemma of if he liked me, I mean, we spent four hours talking and nothing, no kiss, no phone exchange. NOTHING."

I laugh at myself. I can perfectly see myself being embarrassed by him and not being able to look him in the eye.. If I could go back in time, I would tell this Marnie that Luke really liked her, even though I only had a basis in videos and pictures.

I pick up my cell phone and open insta, going to the date that marked my diary. 07/06/18. It was Ashton's birthday party. I flip to the side and see a picture taken in Hawaii, with the caption "The one where we got lost". I turn the page and find that trip.

"I know I am committing one of the biggest follies of my life and deep down, I don't even know why. That's a lie, I do, but that's not the point. In fact, it is, but that's not what I'm going to talk about. Again, it is. The point is: I can't believe that at the last minute I agreed to go on a trip to Hawaii with a bunch of people I barely know. Except Ash, Noah and Leah. And P.S. Monday is his birthday. It only gets better.”

Apparently things between Luke and me went pretty quickly. I read a few more pages seeing that on his birthday, we had our first kiss and from then on everything happened too fast and messy.

I write about many fights and reconciliations. Both he and I, didn't want anything serious, but both he and I, couldn't stay away from each other and there was my reason.

"There is a good big part of all this blocking that I believe is because of what happened and because of me trying to pretend it didn't happen. Dr. Prescott says that if I don't put it out there and don't talk about it, it will consume me. 'Talking about our fears, worries and problems makes them smaller and easier to defeat.'

Besides my parents, no one else knows about that day."

I run my eyes quickly down the page, seeing that that one was about Stephen's cheating.

I close the journal in fear. I don't know what is coming, and I don't know if I have the courage to read it. It is one thing to hear about it from others, from their view and opinion, even if it is not on purpose. It's another to hear about it from my view, from what I've been through.

I have no doubt that there are things in these next pages that maybe even my parents don't know. Things and feelings that I have kept solely and exclusively to myself and I don't know if I am ready to face this, again.

I put down the diary and go in search of something else. Luckily for me, my guardian angel, aka Leah, calls me.

“Are you busy? I thought we could have lunch together. What do you think?” she bombards me, not letting me say hello.

“Hi to you too. No, I'm not busy, just reading my diary.” I run my hand over the cover, keeping in the back of my mind what awaits me. “ I'll take lunch.”

Before Leah can answer, I hear a muffled argument on the phone and wait for the fight to end.

“Sorry, but Noah is asking if he can come along.” she asks, without patience.

“Of course he can.” I hold my laughter, imagining the two of them fighting on the other end of the line.

“Okay, in a few minutes we'll be there. Kisses.”

I say goodbye to her and decide not to read the diary again. The doctor himself told me not to force myself into anything. I set the table and wait for the two of them to arrive.

After forty minutes, the doorbell rings. I make way for my friend and analyze the tall, muscular man behind her. Unlike my memory, the Noah of today has his hair well shaved and brunette, like his sister's. His green eyes fill with tears when he sees me crack a smile, and like his twin, he doesn't wait for permission and hugs me.

“Don't ever do that again, young lady. What a shitty world this would be without you!” he squeezes me before showering me with kisses, all over my face.

Leah turns and pulls him away from me, making me laugh. I follow them both into the kitchen and look at the bags they brought, excited.

“We made sure to stop by The Palm and pick up your favorite dish.” I didn't even know that I had a favorite dish at The Palm. But when Leah opens a box and I feel my mouth water when I see that noodle with shrimp, I realize how little I know myself.

“Have I ever told you that I love you?” I ask softly, with a smile.

We start lunch and today my attention was on Noah, after all he was the new thing. I listen to him tell about the day we met, when he began to advise my career with his sister, and how things have been going since the accident.

“You don't have to give any interviews if you don't want to.” he assures me once again.

I still don't know how to deal with this "public figure" business, but deep down I feel a need to give a "satisfaction" to everyone who knows me. Noah has already sent some notes about my condition, but I know that I will have to appear on some channel in the future.

We changed the subject and started talking about my amnesia. Noah was not very happy that my first memory was his hair fiasco. I commented that I was reading my diary and asked about some events.

“Are we really lost in Hawaii?” they both started to laugh and agree.

“That day I wanted to hit Mark. I was getting very angry that he could not accept that he was reading the wrong map. Not to mention the car dying and us pushing," Noah comments.

“Mark was never good with maps. He says himself that he was a lousy Boy Scout.” Leah says before drying her third glass of water.

“Who is Mark?” I question.

“Mark is an ex-lover of mine. At the time we were chatting and he had the house in Hawaii. One thing led to another and in the end he went along.” Leah ends with a frown.

“And why did we let him drive then?” I ask, full of curiosity. They look at me as if I know the answer. Or, as if I should, but I just raise my eyebrows, saying nothing.

“Because it's Mark.” Noah shrugs. “He likes to be in control of everything.”

“The one who was definitely happy with us there was that guy who owns the coconut stand.” Leah says.

So there it is, the little wooden stand, with a pile of coconuts in front of it. A short man, probably about 50 years old, laughing at our misfortune while selling the fruit to us. Images begin to form in my mind.

" “- Look there.” Kyleen and I focus on the little man laughing as he takes the money from Michael's hand. “He sure is very happy with us standing here.” Leah says.

“Of course he is. We already bought twelve coconuts from him. Bad little man.” I make a face.

“We're not lost. It's just a shortcut.” we cut off eye contact with the stand and focus on Mark arguing with Noah and Ashton.

Leah looked at her lover in total disbelief at what she had gotten herself into. If regret could kill. The next moment Mark stomps his foot on the floor, like a child with a temper tantrum. At that moment, Calum looks at me with wide eyes.

I look away so that he doesn't see me laughing. Kiki, who was behind me, slaps me to stop, but this only makes me want to laugh more. I hide my face in her arm and in the end, my laughter gets out of hand. Both she and Calum start laughing with me, causing the boys to look at us curiously.

It takes no more than five minutes for Mike to join in the laughter with us and soon everyone else was laughing except Mark. Even the little bad man was laughing. It was the worst thing about us being lost, but that's what was happening and it couldn't be anything but comical, even though it was sad too. ”

“Of course he was happy. He sold about fifteen coconuts for us.” I don't even try to control my smile. Once again I remembered, and this is more than great.

The twin couple in front of me crack a big smile too, and soon they are clapping their hands and stamping their feet on the floor, making noise. I clap my hands with them in celebration.

“She is coming back.” Noah comes around the table, hugging me from behind and again showering me with kisses.

I was never one to have many friends. Usually it was just Bethany and Stephen, and a girl in my music class, but I don't know if I can consider her that, after all, we only talked during class and it was all very unrelated.

The point is that I have always envied those people who managed to have a large number of friends, and friends really, not just colleagues. Friends who call you for everything, who are always by your side, who enjoy your company, and who consider you family.

In this moment, with just Noah and Leah, I can see that I finally have these friends that I have wanted so much and without having to pretend to be something that I am not, without having to buy their attention, as I felt I needed it with Bethany. And if I'm happy like this with just the two of them, I can't wait to see the others.

“So, you said you were reading your diary, did you remember anything else?” Leah asks excitedly.

All the happiness and euphoria that had surrounded my body disappears. The bloody page with the bloody day comes back into my mind. They both notice my mood drop.

“I remembered a day when I went to have coffee with Ash, but…” I play with the edge of my cup, trying not to get too much into that energy. “I found a day where I tell about what happened.” I look at them, who are serious and attentive.

“Do you want us to read it with you?” Leah holds my hand across the table, gently patting it.

I shake my head positively and point to the notebook on the coffee table in the living room. I watch her return with the notebook and hand it to me. I open it to the marked page and stare at my handwriting again.

"I haven't had the courage to tell either Ashton, Leah, or much less Luke. I can't tell if I'm ashamed of it or just afraid of it happening again. The problem is that it's really starting to get to me, to the point where I get irritated when I see Luke and Leah talking and it shouldn't be like that. So I need to get it all out so that I can start over.

It was our anniversary. I snuck out of my work to see Stephen at his house. I wanted to deliver his gift soon. Two streets before his house I ran into Noelle, his mother, and told her I wanted to surprise him, so she told me to get the key under the third vase and go in.

Maybe it would have been better just to ring the doorbell and not have to see it. I was very quiet so as not to be discovered, and in the end, I was the one who discovered something."

My racing heart hurts from beating so hard. I can't keep my breathing normal, holding it at various times. I feel like it's a suspense book where no one wants to find out what's behind the door of the abandoned house, but needs to, in order to continue the story.

I notice in some letters and words the ink smudged and I know it was from my tears and it only hurts me more.

"There is no word to describe the disgust, pain, and anger of seeing him and her in bed naked. My until then boyfriend, and my until then best friend.

And what only made it worse was that she didn't even try to explain herself, didn't show an ounce of regret, even if it was a pretense. Nothing. While he tried to say it was nothing like that, Bethany still says it had been going on for a long time."

I close the journal angrily and throw it away, stopping on the other side of the long table. The lump in my throat gets bigger, but I don't want to cry, not for this and not again.

Deep down, I have always had a flea behind my ear with the two of them. The countless rides Stephen insisted on giving her. The way she always motivated me to fight with him, for reasons I thought were small and insignificant. But it was my first serious relationship, what did I know about dating, right? Bethany, on the other hand, had dated seriously twice.

It had always been there, I just didn't want to see it.

“I always suspected it and never, never wanted to believe it. After all, he was my boyfriend and she was my best friend. They wouldn't be able to.” I let out a humorless laugh.

The twins look at me fearfully, as if I were a mother scolding them.

“But you know what the worst part is? I believed him. He looked me in the face and said that nothing happened. That Luke was to blame for our breakup! How stupid of me!” I shout, picking up the diary and throwing it further away, as if it would hurt Stephen.

“Wait, what?” Leah speaks loudly.

I look at her startled and realize what I said. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I didn't want anyone to know about the meeting.

“You met with Stephen? When?” she turns the table around, coming closer. I swallow dryly.

“Yesterday morning," I begin softly, but it was enough for Leah to cover her eyes with her hands and snort. Noah laid his head on his arms, sighing as well. “I was confused and needed to hear and see him.” I start to defend myself.

“After everything your mother told you about him?” Leah asks.

“And you think I would believe her? Would you? With amnesia on account?” I retort. Leah takes a deep breath and denies it with her head, giving me reason.

“But you could have told, or asked, I don't know.” Noah ponders.

“Nobody would have let me, I know nobody likes him and rightly so.” I give in.

“That explains a lot.” Leah comments softly, but loud enough for me to hear.

“Explains what?” I ask confused.

She looks at Noah, who nods, giving her the green light. Like me, she swallows dryly before she begins.

“Explain why Luke is so grouchy and weird. Not wanting to come see you.” he answers, poking at the seam of the chair.

NO! No! No! No! No! Please, no. He can't have seen.

“You have to take me to his house.” I ask, heading for the hall.

“What?” the two shout following me.

“I need to talk to him. Now!” I shout the last part, putting on a jacket with some difficulty.

“But why?” Noah helps me.

“Because I think he saw something that wasn't supposed to happen and got it wrong.” I open the door, going to call the elevator.

“Oh, no!” they understand and soon follow me.

Things between Luke and me may be messed up, but the last thing I want him to think is that I cheated on him.

[emilycollins00]

tsuzuru with a fem s/o who is shy but is a great actor please! uwu i love you and your works!

Love you more sweetheart! 💕 I’m sorry this took this long, thank you so very much for your beautiful patience!! This boy and you deserve the best of the best I swear, sending you a big hug.

Hope you enjoy! 💕

Tsuzuru x Shy! Actor! Reader

Tsuzuru keeps malfunctioning because you literally exist, this could very well end here.

Born in a chaotic household and now living in such a lousy dorm, while he wouldn’t change it… having someone as caring and giving as you makes him feel too blessed, is it really okay? are you even real??

This boy doesn’t like to outwardly complain, but will go to you when he needs to cool off or feels stressed and even if you two don’t say much, just laying next to you makes him sigh with content. 

He insists you don’t have to go to his performances, but if you do show up as a surprise, one shy wave from your seat will make his adrenaline go up. no citron, he’s okay it’s just sudenly hot.

You are both on the quiet side, so dates usually consist on calming walks through the park or some visits to bookshops.

I see Tsuzuru as the type of person who tries to respects boundaries, even more if you are shy, but at the same time is unconscious of his own PDA? Like before he knows he’s already leaning on you or grabbing your hand to lead you somewhere and then forgetting to let go.

Whenever he takes iniciative to kiss you though he becomes a flustered mess, so you both usually look like a pair of red headlights hiding your faces. 

Absolutely loves reading scripts together and exchanging advice. It helps you both and he honestly can’t get enough of your insights.

Pretty much like Muku, you tried acting to become more confident. The way you direct your voice, how you pour your soul in your performance…   Tsuzuru is definitely in awe of your acting skills and you usually have to stop his unaware compliments because you get too embarrassed. 

Won’t say it outloud because he thinks it might be weird, but finds your shy downcast eyes rather endearing.

Understanding of your shyness and also kind of overprotective. 

Tries to help you slowly step out of your comfort zone and be more vocal about what you want, though that part is something he’s also still learning himself.

All in all, Tsuzuru adores you and will work hard for you to be as happy and at ease as he is with you. He thinks of you as his escape from all the expectations people have of him, and hopes he can become a similar pilar to you, because you deserve it.  

-

“Tsuzuru!”

You didn’t wait for your theatre’s main door to close, hurrying towards the tall boy. Recognizing your voice, he looked up and smiled, raising his hand for you to not worry and slow down the pace.

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting”

“It’s fine. I guess rehearsal went better today?”

You nodded, still embarrassed how fast he could catch on every little detail. You both started walking away.

“I managed to talk to our director about adding a small scene before the finale and the transition went much better” you shivered a bit inside your jacket. It really was colder outside “Everyone agreed you must be a genius”

The scripwright laughed at the choice of words, shaking his head “I just gave my thoughts from what you told me. I’m sure your troupe would have thought of a similar solution sooner or later”

“Maybe, but your ideas are-”

A sudden phone call stopped the conversation, with Tsuzuru excusing himself “Omi-san?” after a few seconds in silence, he nodded “Sure, we are close to the shopping district anyway so…” he glanced at you for a second before concentrating again on the exchange “No, it’s okay, we’ll go now. Sure. See you”

“Everything okay?” you pondered, watching him place the phone back is his pocket “Isn’t Omi-san, um, a member of your theatre?”

“Yeah, he asked me if we could buy a few ingredients for tonight’s dinner before heading back to the dorm, is it okay?”

Your heart practically jumped at your boyfriend’s words. Right. That was the reason Tsuzuru had been waiting for you outside; Today was the day you were going to Mankai for the first time.

The nerves that caused your stomach to drop must have clearly shown on your face. You wanted to reply with a cool ‘yes, of course!’ but even when you felt his turquoise eyes glancing your way, nothing came out.

You pursed your lips ashamed as you both reached the shopping mall. While you also thought it was time to meet them, and probably could recognize everyone thank to your conversations with Tsuzuru... it still felt overwhelming.

Could you really introduce yourself in front of so many new people? Would they even like you? You, who had to repeat yourself because others didn’t often hear and even had to breath in and out before answering a phone call?

“Y/N”

Turning to him, you remembered how you had stumbled over your own words when you greeted him the first time. He showered you with an affectionate smile that made your chest leap.

“We can wait if you don’t feel comfortable yet. I’m sure no one will mind”

Feeling something warm, you looked down. His hand was already holding yours unconsciously to calm you. Your cheeks heated up at your childish behaviour and you shook your head to try to come out of your stupor “...I’m fine, sorry. I really want to meet everyone, it’s just- I wish it didn’t feel so nerve-wracking to prepare myself”

“You really don’t have to prepare yourself for anything” 

“Still, I... want to make a good impression” you smiled with downcast eyes. Why was it this difficult to voice your thoughts? You played with the strip of the bag with your free hand “They are your precious second family, right? I don’t want it to be uncomfortable so I was thinking, um... ” your fidgeted, feeling the nerves oozing off you “Maybe I should bring a gift, like curry or something?”

You stared at him waiting for his opinion, people passing by your sides. Soon enough though, the spring troupe member had to turn away. You frowned confused when you noticed his trembling shoulders, making you gasp indignant and quickly punching his arm embarrassed.

“I-I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense, okay! You are always talking about curry so I couldn’t help it, don’t laugh!” much to your dismay, he didn’t stop, making you even more flustered “Tsuzuru!”

It took a while for him to completely calm down. That really was the last thing he had expected you to say, seeing how overwhelmed you looked. On the other hand, he should have expected it, you might be timid but caring about those things was in your nature. He shook his head. 

“I can’t promise you everyone’s exact reaction, but you really don’t need to bring anything. They are more excited to meet you than you imagine. I should know, after all hell I’ve been put through these days”

“Hell...?”

He shrugged it off “What I mean is there’s no way you’ll make a bad impression. Rather than that, you- ” a series of scenarios suddenly flashed through his mind, to which he frowned “...Yeah, I’m definitely more worried about what you’ll think of everyone once you meet them. Please keep your expectative very” he paused, holding his pointing finger up seriously “very low”

That finally made you chuckle “Wait, what? Why?”

Tsuzuru’s eyes softened at the sound. If you two hadn’t been outside, he would have kissed you right there, so he opted to take again your hand and squeez it.

No matter what you said, it was you who had left a mark the first time he saw you act, and it was you who caught his dense attention with your subtle kindness, tender eyes and strong will. You, who so adorably told him to breath and relax, setting aside his usual daily pressure, reminding him there was still time and space to grow.

“Everyone will definitely like you, Y/N”

Because you were so much more than you gave yourself credit for. And while it might sound cringey, you really were his peace, his pride, and he couldn’t wait for everyone to finally learn about you.

_________________________________________________________

No shame in saying this was great content for me included, thanks again love!

Hope you all have a wonderful day! 💕

[specterchasing-a]

I Won’t Bite || Kyle & Eddie

TIMING: Current

LOCATION: The Bloody Stake

PARTIES: @darkh0wl​ & @specterchasing​

SUMMARY: A chance meeting followed by... a lot. It’s just a lot.

CONTENT: Suicidal ideations & head trauma.

It was a slow night at the Bloody Stake; just a couple regulars nursing their drinks quietly. Kyle stood behind the bar, drying glasses. He could fall asleep standing up, right there. He wouldn’t do that, of course. He was in the middle of a probationary period at work. Apparently, employers don’t like it very much when you leave without a word in the middle of a shift. They like it even less when they hear screams coming from the alleyway and find the alley covered in blood. Kyle not contacting his boss for two days after, and the boss’ car being dented by a large animal--that didn’t help his case either. Kyle was in deep shit for that. Thin fucking ice. So he dried the glasses and willed himself to find something to focus on that wasn’t how tired he was. 

Spotting someone at the bar who wasn’t a regular, Kyle’s brow furrowed. The guy looked familiar to say the least. “Hey, you’re that YouTuber, right? Didn’t we go to high school together?”

For Eddie, a night out usually meant visiting one of the many White Crest cemeteries, or perhaps the woods. When he felt particularly daring, he ventured all the way to The Bend. Tonight, however, he found himself at a bar, one with a reputation he could appreciate. Filming within The Bloody Stake would be like asking the patrons to usher him into an early grave, so he opted out of his usual role of documentarian. Instead, he seated himself at the bar and allowed the atmosphere to wash over him.

While Eddie observed the crowd in muted reverence, a voice pulled him out of his trance. “Huh?” he responded abruptly, his head snapping in the direction of the voice’s source. It took him a moment to register what had been said. “Yeah, nail on the head, that’s me,” he said fondly before his brow furrowed slightly. The employee mentioned knowing him from high school and Eddie could feel his name on the tip of his tongue. Keiran? No. Kirk? Also no. “Kyle,” he finally recalled with recognition shining in his eyes, but they quickly dimmed. 

Eddie remembered Bex screaming; the way she begged for mercy. The wolf—she called him Kyle, didn’t she? It could’ve been a coincidence, ‘Kyle’ wasn’t an unusual name, but he still felt uneasy. If this man hurt Bex, Eddie needed to do something about that, right? He forced his smile back into place. “So, how the hell are you, man? Gotten up to much since I last saw you?”

If Kyle noticed anything awry, he said nothing. His eyes drifted over Eddie, then flicked back down to the glass in hand. He’d forgotten how cute Eddie was and now his stomach fluttered with unexpected nervousness. Why was he nervous? They were just two dudes at the bar being dudes at the bar. No need to worry there. “I’m--” (Good? No, that was a lie. He definitely wasn’t good. His grip on shifting was slim at best and felt like it was getting worse every day. Fine? No, that wasn’t right either. He’d nearly killed at least one person in the past month, and had ample opportunity to do it again. That didn’t exactly constitute for good or fine.) “--hanging in there,” he said, with a smile that didn’t quite touch his eyes. “Still hanging out in this weird ass town, but I’m sure you know all about that.” Kyle wasn’t exactly a fan. He definitely wasn’t subscribed to Eddie’s channel. But he’d seen a handful of videos; enough to know that Eddie was unearthing all the mysteries of White Crest one at a time. Kyle thought it reckless to do so. The more he found out about White Crest, the more danger he was in. Setting the glass aside and picking up another, Kyle leaned against the bar. “How’s the internet fame treating you?”

Eddie’s eyes remained trained on Kyle’s face almost as if he expected to find the answers to his unspoken questions about Bex etched into his features. He noticed the smile and, more importantly, the way his eyes looked comparatively dim. Kyle didn’t seem like a vicious monster. Mostly, he just seemed kind of sad. Adulthood suited him though; he looked good despite the invisible baggage  he carried.

When Kyle mentioned Eddie’s familiarity with the weirdness of White Crest, he shrugged slightly as his smile transformed into a smirk. “Sure do, and I love every minute of it.” He adored the danger shrouding his hometown, it kept him from getting bored. The conversation shifted when Kyle put the spotlight on Eddie. “Pretty damn great, actually. I don’t… I mean, I probably wouldn’t call myself famous, but yeah. I’m really proud of what I’m doing.” His head tilted slightly as he momentarily assessed Kyle. “What about you, Kyle? Doin’ anything you’re proud of these days?” His expression harbored no ill-will, but his intentions weren’t entirely pure.

Eddie talking about himself put Kyle at ease, even for just a moment. He didn’t want to talk about himself. He didn’t want to think about himself. “You’ve had at least a couple viral videos or something, right?” he asked. “I don’t know much in the way of YouTube fame, but I’d say that’s pretty good.” He set aside another glass and picked up a third from the sink. “I’m glad you’ve found something you enjoy.” He wasn’t being disingenuous, he was happy for Eddie. It wasn’t every day you found a passion you could toss yourself into as wholeheartedly as Eddie seemed to be. 

If Eddie’s responses had put Kyle at ease before, this question had the opposite effect on him. He tensed immediately, glancing up at Eddie. He half expected a taunting look or a smug smirk. Something that would indicate the question was as loaded as it felt. “Uh--” The wet glass slipped from his fingers and shattered on the floor. “Shit,” he hissed as he hurriedly started scooping up the bigger pieces with his towel. “Um, I--” What did he have to be proud of? Nothing, really. There was specifically more to be deeply ashamed of lately. “Gimme a second,” he mumbled, grabbing a nearby broom brush and dustpan, and sweeping the glass up. Once that was done, he stood back up and looked at Eddie. He couldn’t know, could he? Bex wouldn’t tell anyone. Right? “Wh-what was the question?”

The glass in Kyle’s hand fell to the floor and shattered. Eddie winced at the sound and tried not to feel guilty. A few curious patrons turned their heads to gawk at the source of the commotion. Whatever doubts Eddie had about Kyle being the Kyle dissipated. It was plain to see how guilty his conscience was. He needed to make a choice. Either, he could treat Kyle like the wolf who nearly ripped Bex to shreds, or he could treat him like the man with sad eyes and kind words.

“Oh, man, I’m so sorry—forget I even asked. I should’ve known it was a kinda heavy question,” Eddie responded with an awkward laugh. “I’ve always been lousy at small talk, it’s my fatal flaw.” An unfortunate thought occurred to him, causing his lips to purse. “They’re not gonna make you pay for that, right? I’ll cover the cost, if they do. It’s the least I can do after hurling you into an existential crisis.” Eddie liked the man better than the wolf, anyway. Maybe, he could even figure out how to help bring some light back into his eyes.

Kyle’s eyes searched Eddie’s face for any sign that he knew, but then he was talking and he definitely knew. Had Bex told him? Had he asked? Was this part of being a medium, or whatever, that he didn’t understand? His stomach twisted up and his heart jumped up to his throat. “How did you…?” 

He sighed shakily. It was okay, he and Bex had never agreed to a code of silence or anything. She was free to talk about it if she wanted to. It was healthy for her, rather than keep it all bottled up. Kyle just had to breathe for a minute. Being at work, thinking about it at work—it felt wrong. It felt bad. Breathe. He just had to steady himself for a minute. It was fine. “I, uh, guess my new reputation precedes me.” His voice was even; a practiced calm. “I’m gonna go outside for a smoke. If you want to talk, you can come along. If you want. I won’t bite.”

Eddie’s heart sank when Kyle immediately saw through his attempt to conceal the truth. Before tonight, Eddie suspected he would have some choice words for Kyle should they ever meet, potentially more than words. But, now that he sat mere inches away from him, he felt sorry for him. The urge to comfort Kyle came as a surprise; he seemed so distant and alone.

“She didn’t mean to…” Eddie trailed off, he knew the bar wasn’t the right location for this discussion. Apparently, Kyle felt the same way. “Yeah, man, you got it,” he replied more enthusiastically than he intended to. He raised to his feet, smiling politely, and kept his eyes on Kyle. “Lead the way.” He tried to stop focusing on the ‘bite’ comment. Kyle may not use his teeth, but Eddie knew he had experience with causing harm in different ways.

Kyle’s hands shook as he tossed the dish towel aside. He patted his pockets, checking for his phone, lighter, and cigarettes, then headed for the front door. On his way, he brushed past the bartender, cigarette already between his lips, and mumbled “fifteen minutes.” He didn’t acknowledge Eddie, didn’t look at him, just kept walking. He needed some fresh air and he knew the other man would follow. 

Once outside, Kyle leaned up against the brick exterior of the bar. It was just breezy enough that it took him a few tries to light his cigarette. Once he got it, he took a slow drag and steadily exhaled. The deep breathing, associated with smoking, calmed his frayed nerves; at least a little. He let his head drop back against the wall and closed his eyes. Bex didn’t mean to? Eddie had said she didn’t mean to. Was it another situation like the one they had had on campus, when Morgan had needed to intervene? What had triggered it? Now Kyle had to deal with someone else knowing he was not only a werewolf, but one with a tentative grasp on control. He tried not to think about how he had mauled Bex right here; right outside this bar, just a few dozen feet away. He tried not to think about how he would have killed her if not for the mindlink that got them in this damn situation in the first place. 

After a long moment, he opened his eyes and looked at Eddie. “What do you want to know? I’m pretty sure you have questions. Shoot.” His voice did not betray his feigned calm. Maybe it wasn’t feigned tonight. Nell had given Kyle wolfsbane capsules for the full moon. He had taken a half of one a few hours before work, just to make sure nothing would go wrong. Just to make sure he’d stay calm enough to keep his job. “Did she have a panic attack?” He tried not to wince when he asked it, but his jaw tightened noticeably. 

Like most alleyways in White Crest, Eddie knew the one he now stood in well. He’d been here more than once and nothing bad ever came from his visits. In fact, most of them were complete busts as far as creating content for his channel went. He possessed no personal experiences that would turn this alley into anything other than a small stretch of cracked concrete, two towering brick walls, and a dumpster. The same couldn’t be said for Bex, who shared her injurious memory with him in vivid detail. And now, here he was, near the site of the attack with the wolf who nearly killed her.

Eddie’s hand nervously rubbed his chest as if making sure Bex didn’t share her wounds with him too. He’d been doing that a lot lately. The stench of cigarette smoke infiltrated his airways and inspired a fleeting grimace to appear on his face. Kyle asked a question; he sounded farther away than he should have. Eddie took a breath and silently reprimanded himself for not staying grounded.

“Yeah, she did,” Eddie replied to Kyle’s second question; he still needed to grapple with the first. He figured out a way to buy himself some time. “We were in an alley kind of like this one and then everything went sideways. I tried to help, but… I didn’t do a great job.” He cut the story off there. Bex said she and Kyle were friends, but that didn’t mean he knew about her magical abilities. “Question number one,” he said, backtracking to his offer. “You’re a werewolf. I’m sorry about whatever struggles that come with that, but you have a responsibility to keep people safe from you. Why didn’t you take precautionary measures to make sure you wouldn’t hurt anyone?”

The confirmation that Bex had had yet another panic attack because of Kyle’s actions was hard to hear. His shoulders sank, but his expression didn’t change. No doubt, Eddie had seen Bex’s waking nightmares, just like all those students in the campus café. Kyle couldn’t help but wonder how many people he’d scarred after one bad night. They say the beating of butterfly wings can create a hurricane; Kyle had surely set a dozen or more in motion. Like some twisted King Midas, he left pain in his wake. Everyone he touched was worse off. He pinched the bridge of his nose, already feeling tears pricking at his eyes. He didn’t want to cry here in front of someone he’d just started talking to. It didn’t help that Eddie had made him the good kind of nervous. Kyle opened his mouth to say something, anything in response. He was at a loss for words and only managed a pained, “I’m sorry.” 

If the realization that he was still Bex’s nightmare had hurt him, that first unexpected question was a punch to the gut. Kyle’s hand dropped from his face and he looked up at Eddie now. The tears he had been holding back made his lashes stick together as they slid down his face. His eyes held a primal rage that he was struggling to quench. “How dare—,” he barked, voice louder than expected. He sucked in a breath, clenching his fists. He had all but forgotten the cigarette he had been holding until the heat from it registered. He dropped the crushed cigarette with a hiss. Good, the pain was good. It grounded him for just a moment. 

When he spoke next, his voice was quieter, but dripped with malice. “Who the fuck do you think you are? You don’t know anything about me or how hard it’s been going this alone.” Kyle knew his anger wasn’t justified. He knew Eddie was right; he’d been a danger this whole time. It was a wonder he hadn’t cracked sooner. But to hear it from someone completely outside of the situation, to hear his own guilt weaponized against him—Kyle couldn’t bear it. Focus on the pain. Focus on your breathing. 

The good thing about wolfsbane was that it kept Kyle drowsy and feeling inebriated at best. The bad thing, and there were many bad things to choose from, was that it didn’t prevent a shift, and he wasn’t working with a full dose. He had maybe a few minutes, at most, to slow this train of thought before it detailed him completely. That would be easier said than done as Kyle’s heart rate picked up and his breathing became increasingly shallow.

The realization that his question struck a nerve hit Eddie immediately upon seeing the look in Kyle’s eyes. The tone of his voice hammered the point in even further. Every muscle in his body tensed as he wondered whether or not he and Kyle would be reenacting the night with Bex. The only difference between now and then being that there was no one around to save Eddie. People didn’t respond to cries for help in White Crest, the residents were either desensitized to them or preferred to pretend they didn’t hear them. If Kyle attacked Eddie, he would die. That probably should’ve scared him more than it did.

“Actually, I know a lot about being alone.” His brain didn’t care what happened next, but Eddie’s body was eager to stay alive. Adrenaline coursed through him, his hands shook, and  nervous sweat broke out near his hairline. No matter how badly his instincts told him to run, he kept his feet firmly planted where he stood. Stupid or brave, he didn’t really care either way. “And I know a lot about feeling like I can’t handle that feeling of being alone.” It somehow felt like a timer was counting down-to-zero in Kyle’s head. How long did he have left?

“But, you are right about one thing. I don’t know you, not well, anyway. If you don’t kill me, I think I might like to, but that’s feeling like a very big ‘if’ right now.” Eddie swallowed hard past the lump in his throat. “I crossed a line I didn’t know was there and I’m sorry for that. For the sake of you not having to explain to Bex what you did to my body after the wolf is gone and you turn back into a pretty decent guy who got dealt a shitty hand, I hope I’m with you when you walk back into the bar.” Eddie watched Kyle closely, his chest rising and falling dramatically with each breath. 

Kyle’s heart was about to beat right out his goddamn chest. He clutched at it, his whole body shaking now. Breathe. Eddie was talking, but he sounded far away. Like he was at the other end of a long hallway. His words reverberated through Kyle’s head. What he was saying hit a little too close to home. Particularly, the bit about feeling like he couldn’t handle being alone. Kyle knew that feeling well. If he was in a more sensible state of mind, he might’ve actually hugged the man. 

If you don’t kill me. Kyle didn’t want to kill Eddie. He didn’t want to kill anyone, but Eddie was so tantalizingly accessible right now, and Kyle was falling apart. He buried his face in his palms. The streetlights were too bright. They buzzed too loud. Eddie’s voice was too loud, too. Breathe. Feeling overstimulated, Kyle turned his back to the medium. He tried to walk away, he tried to put ground between himself and Eddie. It was a losing battle before he’d begun, and he fell to his knees. His palms scraped along the concrete beneath them. Breathe. Focus on the sting. He screwed his eyes tightly shut. 

It was too late. Kyle’s body was already ripping itself apart to build it back up. He grit his teeth to hold back any noises of pain as he shifted. When he opened his eyes again, they had to readjust to the streetlights. Kyle was panting now, his tongue lolling to the side. He stretched and shook out his fur. The shift had taken it out of him. Whatever energy he had left after taking wolfsbane earlier in the night, it was all but gone now. Unsteadily, Kyle got to all fours and     rounded on Eddie. His dagger-sharp teeth were bared and a low growl escaped his parted lips. He wobbled as he took a step towards the man before him. Kyle was dizzy now. The wolf blinked rapidly, trying to regain himself. He swayed in place, clearly struggling to maintain balance.

A small part of Eddie had hoped that talking to Kyle would prevent this from happening. As the transformation happened before his very eyes, he realized how much of a fucking idiot he was. Eddie had the gift of gab, but he couldn’t recall ever hearing a story about someone talking an animal out of mauling them. As far as self-preservation went, he was lacking. Despite the fear gripping his heart and the incontestable urge to run, morbid curiosity made him wonder what would happen if he just… stood there. On the bright side, it would probably be a quick death.

But then Eddie thought about Kyle; the smile that didn’t reach his eyes, the glass shattering on the floor, his guilt and anger. If the wolf killed him, how much deeper into self-loathing would Kyle sink. And, fuck, what about Bex? He told her he would be more careful. At the thought of her, he instinctively took a step back. Much to his surprise, life without people who might mourn him was a lot simpler.

Eddie quickly went over his options. Running into the bar would be baiting a werewolf into a public space and he wasn’t fast enough to run past him. What else could he do? His eyes snapped to the dumpster in his peripheral vision. He’d never moved anything that big with his mind before and the chances of succeeding now seemed slim, but at least he could say he tried to survive. 

He focused hard on the dumpster, slowly backing further away from the wolf. It felt like every muscle in his body was being pushed to its limit, but the dumpster began to slide against the concrete. He inhaled deeply, extended his hand, and whipped the dumpster at Kyle as hard as he could, slamming him against the alley’s wall. 

The wolf stalked forward, wobbly as he may be, slowly trying to close the gap between himself and his prey. If there was any part of Kyle that remained consciously human, he didn’t show it. He watched as his prey panicked. He could smell the fear as Eddie tried to find a way out. Kyle paused when he felt close enough. He eyed Eddie’s throat, mouth flooding with saliva. His body tensed, ready to strike. He was so in the zone, that he didn’t register the sound of the dumpster beginning to scoot across the alleyway towards him. He only realized what was happening a moment too late. Kyle’s head whipped to the side and he braced himself mere seconds before the dumpster had collided with him. He slammed against the wall with a sickening crunch and let out a pained yelp. Pinned between the wall and the dumpster, Kyle’s claws scrambled across the pavement in front of him, as he tried to drag himself out to no avail. He wheezed and whimpered, trying to push back against the heft of the dumpster. 

Eddie didn’t feel proud of what he did to Kyle. The yelp and obvious desperation he felt trying to  free himself  Unfortunately, he didn’t have much of a choice. “Really sorry about this, Kyle,” he said, voice strained from the amount of effort it took to keep the dumpster in place. He moved closer to the pinned wolf. With each step, Eddie felt like his legs might buckle under the sheer amount of exertion needed to propel him forward. 

He knew he couldn’t leave, not if Kyle sustained any significant injuries from the impact, but lasting much longer seemed impossible. Eddie’s vision began to blur as he stood in front of Kyle. “Turn back, turn back, please just fucking turn back,” he pleaded though clenched teeth.

Kyle’s panic and desperation grew the longer he was stuck. He shoved back against the dumpster as hard as he could, but he was exhausted already. He couldn’t keep up the fight and he slumped down, motionless. As soon as it had come, just like that, the storm had passed. What was left in its wake was a less than fully conscious Kyle, his clothes ribboned around him. A thin trail of blood trickled along the curve of his jaw. He’d smacked his head fairly hard, and gained a sizable, but not serious, gash. The sound of a dumpster slamming into the wall would surely be enough of a commotion to alert bar staff and patrons, who would be there soon, if they weren’t already on their way.

At the sight of Kyle’s human form, limp and possibly broken, Eddie used the last of his strength to drag the dumpster far enough away from him to allow him access behind it. He stumbled to Kyle’s side, weak and disoriented, and tucked himself underneath one of his arms. Eddie avoided looking at his recently exposed skin as best he could while he hoisted him onto his feet. He wobbled dangerously under Kyle’s weight before miraculously finding his footing again. “We can’t stay here,” Eddie grunted. Trouble was, he couldn’t exactly drag an essentially naked man through a packed bar either, especially not one who looked barely alive.

“Walk with me, please,” he quietly begged as he led Kyle through the alleyway as quickly as he could. At the mouth of the alleyway, Eddie could see his car. At the same time, he heard a door swing open behind him. “Oh, fuck me,” he mumbled as he hobbled as quickly as he could to the passenger’s side door. He quickly ushered Kyle into the seat and slammed the door. Not wanting to waste any time, he booked it to the other side and took his place in the driver’s seat, peeling onto the road as quickly as he could. 

Eddie glanced over at Kyle, unsure whether or not he was at all conscious. “I don’t—is the hospital even an option for you?” He imagined it would be tough to conceal his accelerated healing. 

Kyle blinked in minute long intervals. His feet shuffled along with Eddie as best as he could manage, which wasn’t great. He curled in on himself with a groan as soon as he was seated in the car. That was the first time he became vaguely aware of his surroundings. The sudden movement of the car was disorienting and Kyle had to close his eyes to keep his bearings. He pressed his cheek against the cold glass of the window. The glass felt nice against his fevered skin as he still sweat with the exertion he’d just put in. The blood that flowed down the side of his face was now smeared across the window. That was something he would want to take care of when he was a little more awake. He wouldn’t want to make a mess of Eddie’s car. 

“Where—,” he mumbled, brow creased together. He couldn’t go to the hospital, that was for sure. If they called his emergency contacts, he’d be pretty well fucked. His parents and stepdad didn’t need to get involved in this. On top of that, there was a lot of explanation required at the hospital, and that was something neither he nor Eddie could provide. Kyle was having trouble forming the words to say any of this, though. He mumbled, “N-no. No hospital,” before he was out for at least another few moments. 

Every inch of Eddie’s body ached, his head felt like it might split open, and his nerves were shot. The road before him went in and out of focus as he drove—if he couldn’t pull himself together, his shitshow of a night would end in a collision. Kyle was clearly struggling to answer him coherently, leaving him unsure about how he should proceed until, finally, he managed to utter what Eddie needed to hear. 

“Okay,” Eddie breathed, nodding his head as he realized what he needed to do. “I’m gonna take you home with me, Kyle. I’m gonna take care of this, I promise. Please, just… please, be okay.” His eyes snapped to his passenger for a sign that he was listening, but he was out cold. Fresh tears stung Eddie’s eyes as they returned to the road. “I am so sorry,” he whispered.

[evening-starlight]

Chances {Chapter Eleven}

I lied, this is the longest chapter. They just keep getting longer ya’ll

Master List

Comfortable, Not Easy

Word Count: 2010

    I spent the next two weeks avoiding everyone and everything thing, especially after I slipped and invited Jared over. Not my proudest moment. Robbie dropped by a couple of times to coax me out of bed, but it didn't work. I felt dirty, used, and stupid. I called Jared after he assaulted me in front of my house like a whore and let him stay over for nine days.

    It wasn't necessarily comfortable being with Jared for nine days, but it was familiar. I knew what to expect from waking up to going to bed. Tom was texting to check in as well, and I ignored every sweet text he sent me. I couldn't face the fact that he was there, waiting for me to recoup while I was living with my ex again.

    Robbie finally kicked Jared out on day ten for me. I told him about the kisses and how horrible I felt letting Jared stay on day nine. Jared was gone before I woke up, and Robbie was trying to pull me out of bed. Literally.

    Robbie pulls on my ankle repeatedly, trying to loosen my hold on the headboard. "Come," pull. "On." He pulls again. "You can't stay locked in your room because you've made a mistake, Stella." He scolds, sitting next to my feet. I grunt in response. "I swear to all things LA, I will make Stevie do a house call." I moan louder, pulling a pillow over my head. The space next to me dips down, and Robbie throws an arm over me.

    Whenever I'm in a lousy mood, Robbie's first response is forceful eviction of my room followed by snuggles. If either won't work, he calls Stevie. In our ten years of friendship, he's gotten to know me inside and out. He's my closest friend and my most relied-on confidant. He knows more about me than anyone else in the world. He knows the darkest places in my head and knows how to help me navigate them better than myself. He was the only one who was there during my entire marriage and divorce. Hell, he was my bro of honor.

    I turn to lay on his chest, curling in to feel his warmth and wrapping my arms around him so tight I thought he'd turn purple. I never, ever, want to lose him. "I hate seeing you like this, Stell." He mumbles. "You're so hard on yourself. I know it's easy with Jared; you guys have a routine. He's easy, and Tom is hard. I understand why you did what you did." The sobs rip out of me in violent bursts. I hate how well he knows me some days, especially when he says things I know I need to hear.

    He remains quiet as I sob, rubbing my head and holding me tight. He's the rock in my twisted life, and I'd be lost without him. Robbie makes me feel seen, heard, and appreciated even after my undesirable days.

    When the sobs turn into small whimpers, Robbie continues, "I think you need to talk to Tom; he's genuinely worried for you. He's dropped by the studio to ask about you. God, you should have seen him, Stella. He's a fucking god. Don't even get me started on those eyes dude, they're so blue." I can't help but laugh at Robbie's fanboying. "They hold so many emotions I didn't know they could do that. He looked so worried and concerned. He really cares about you."

    "I know he does." I manage. "I just don't want to bring him into this fucked up life I've created for myself. He deserves so much better." Robbie sits up quickly, grabbing my face to look at him. His eyebrows are pulled together, and his face is set in a stern look. His father look.

    "You deserve better, Stella Thompson. You deserve a man like Tom. You deserve Jesus himself for all I care. You need someone who will treat you ten times better than Jared ever could. Someone who loves and cherishes you as you are, broken, sharp pieces and all." Robbie runs a thumb over the new tears leaking. "You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, Stella. You care so deeply about people that you let them continue to be in your life even after they've fucked you over a dozen times. Stella, you deserve to start over with someone like Tom."

    I swear to God, the universe was listening to us because, as if divine intervention stepped in, my phone begins to buzz on the nightstand. Robbie reaches to hang up before going over the name again. "Here. Talk to him. I'll make you some food." With that, Robbie leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

    With a grounding breath, I answer the phone with a meek hello. "Oh, thank heavens you're okay." Tom breaths out a sigh of relief on the other side of the phone. "I was beginning to worry. More. Worry more than I already was."

    "I'm sorry I scared you," I mumble. "And I'm sorry I've been MIA for so long. It's been a really rough two weeks after everything happened, and I tend to shut down when things get hard." I admit, brushing my mangled hair out of my face.

    "I understand, Love. We all have bad habits. I was worried I had pushed too hard, and you were ghosting me. I was actually going to call and tell you I would give you some space if you hadn't picked up. I can still give you space if that's what you'd like?"

    "No," I answer quickly. "No, please. I really like having you in my life, and I love the way you make me feel. But I have to tell you that Jared spent the week with me. It doesn't mean anything. He's just..." I pause, trying to find the right words to make my asshole move sound less assholey.

    "Easy. You're used to him. I understand that, Love." I take in a shaky breath. "I appreciate you telling me. Is there anything I can do to help with your rut?"

    "Can you come over sometime today? I could kinda use a hug from you." Fucking crying making my defenses turn to mush. It always makes me a ball of emotions and fussy needs.

    "I'd be delighted to. Would you like me to bring some lunch?"

    "No, Robbie is here making me some. You called at the perfect time, actually. We were talking about you. Everything good, though. Nothing bad." I reiterate quickly. Tom chuckles on the other end.

    "Well, I was just thinking about you and hoping you were at least alive."

    "The heart's still ticking, so the body is alive," I joke. "Brain could use a jumpstart, though."

    "I'll be over in about ten if that's alright with you?" I confirm with him and hang up. Pulling myself out of bed for the first time in fourteen days, I make my way to the kitchen.

    Robbie stands over the stove, cursing and shaking his left hand. "Burned yourself again?" I ask. If you'd lose a year off your life every time you got burnt, Robbie would have died at age five.

    "Fuck off." He mumbles, going back to the grilled cheese he's making. "How'd the call go? It seemed pretty short." I nod as I sit on a barstool.

    "Fine, he's coming over in a few minutes." It hits me. Tom Hiddleston is coming over to my depression pit of a house after I've had two weeks of nonstop crying and zero hygiene. "Fuck, I need to shower." I curse, rushing to the bathroom. A quick shower will help everything. Hopefully.

    Robbie pokes his head into the bathroom as I wrap my towel around me. "Tom's here. I'm going to keep him company while you  get changed." He states before winking and shutting the door again. I don't feel like I have the energy to put on any form of makeup to cover up how deathly ill I look, nor the power to care what I look like besides the clean part. The shower did seem to wash away the residual guilt and shame I felt about everything. Though it didn't clean off everything.

    After changing into some comfortable clothes, I make my way into the living room, where Robbie is watching Tom talk with nothing less than homosexual love in his face. "Robbie, out," I demand, catching both boys' attention. He leaves after a quick goodbye and non-discrete wink.

    Tom walks over to meet me behind the couch, wrapping his arms around my shoulders in a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're doing better," He mumbles into my hair. "I've been worried." We stand like that for a few minutes before my stomach growls loud enough for him to hear. "Here, Robbie left your food on the table." Tom leads me to the couch and sits next to me, our legs touching.

    "Thank you for being so understanding, Tom. I know I'm pretty fucked, and I really appreciate you being understanding of it all." He smiles as I take a bite of the grilled cheese. Robbie should be made grilled cheese God the way it melts in my mouth.

    "Of course, Love. We are all pretty fucked when we think about it. I haven't felt this way in quite some time. I know I can be a bit pushy, but I really enjoy your company," Tom says, sending those all-too-familiar shivers down my spine. "We can take things as slowly as you'd like. We can stay friends if that's what you need to heal as well." I shake my head while finishing a bite.

    "I don't want just friends, Tom. You make me feel like a better version of me. Less dark and gloomy." The anxiety of actually communicating and talking about feelings causes my knee to bounce. Jared never let me talk so candidly, and I'm afraid I might overstep. "Can I be honest?" Tom nods quickly. "I have absolutely no idea how to communicate in a not toxic way.

    "My whole life, it's been demonstrated that yelling and cursing is the only way to get across what I'm feeling. What I do know is that I like who I am when I'm around you, and I don't want that feeling to ever stop." Tom presses a kiss on my forehead.

    "Then let us work it out together. I like who I am when I'm with you as well." The absolute zoo that took residence in my stomach could wipe out the entire human population. Tom motherfucking Hiddleston likes being with me. "Bloody hell, I fancy you, Stella."

    Tom chuckles as I start to choke on my own breath. He reaches for the Caprisun set out and hands it to me. Tom likes me. He like likes me. Tom Hiddleston. Who would have guessed my damaged ass would land someone like him.

    For years after my breakup with Jared, I thought all I deserved was heartbreak and pieces of shit men. Maybe I could really turn my life around here. Turn it into something wonderful and perfect. Something made just for me.

    "I, uh, I fancy you too, Tom," I admit after controlling my breathing. His smile in this exact moment will stay with me forever. No ill-meaning behind it, wide and bright, and absolutely dazzling. Tom was as close to perfect as one man could get.

    The kiss. The kiss that followed behind our confessions was just as magical, if not more magical, than the first. Only this time, there was no Jared to ruin it. It was just Tom, me, and the ugly off-white sofa I stole from Jared when I moved out.

    How do you even end a chapter after that? Like, I impressed myself with that shit. We still own that couch too. It's where our little love story started, truly. I mean, no, we didn't go exclusive at that moment, but it's where it began.