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ravenstargames · 30 days ago

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✦ Lost in Limbo Masterpost (12/09/2024)

Lost in Limbo is a dark fantasy romance visual novel taking place in the mysterious realm of Limbo. Take the role of River Winchester, a human dealing with common-life problems, as you find yourself trapped in a foreign world.

✦ Lost in Limbo explores themes such as the duality of immortality, family bonds, healing from trauma, forgiveness, acceptance, letting go of guilt, and love.

✦ The full game will be rated +17 and will include flashing lights, disturbing imagery, mild horror, mild jumpscares, body horror, suggestive sexual scenes and discussions, sensitive topics such as toxic family relationships, anxiety, depression, mentions of suicide, depictions of alcohol / drug use, etc. Each route will have individual content warnings available for the player.

✦ LOST IN LIMBO FAQ + TUMBLR ASKS

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Face the nightmares of your childhood and uncover the mysteries behind your summoning to the realm of Limbo. Tie your fate to one of seven deities sworn to be your protectors and survive a world facing its demise.

Will love be the key to your freedom, or the first chapter of your downfall?

Our first demo features over 42k words (around three hours of gameplay), partial voice acting, seven CGs, over 25 different choices...and one bad ending?!

To obtain every CG, we reccommend playing the demo twice and testing different options!

✦ PLAY OUR DEMO NOW ON:

🔮 STEAM (MAC, LINUX, WINDOWS)

🔮 ITCH.IO (MAC, LINUX, WINDOWS)

🔮 GOOGLE PLAY

When you finally quit your dead-end job and move back to your mother's house in the ever-peaceful town of Faybourne, you think things could only get better. However, the moment you set foot in your childhood home, a harrowing nightmare long forgotten appears to haunt you once more.

A tower that crumbles in the vastness of a bleeding sky. A voice that mourns and yearns for something.

Torn away from your peaceful life and thrown into a world of danger and deceit, you are at the mercy of the Seven Sovereigns of Limbo. Navigate the Realm Between as it faces an impending cataclysm that threatens to swallow you and those you love whole.

Whether you fall in love or in disgrace... is up to you.

Lost in Limbo features seven love interests and a wide cast of secondary characters.

VA: Patrick 'Pat' Langner

God and creator of Limbo, Father Pride has witnessed eons of change in both his world and yours. Aware of the delicate barrier that keeps each world separate and whole, it is his duty to both protect his people and safeguard the endless knowledge his immortality has granted him.

The Father of All is beloved by his family and worshiped as an invincible leader by the inhabitants of Limbo, but he ultimately remains removed from others; a mysterious, unreachable idol. The life of a deity of unfathomable power is solitary, and you can't help but wonder if there's any trace of humanity in him.

Can you truly trust a being whose power is beyond human comprehension, or are you just another tool for him?

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VA: Brian Vaughn

His father's promises of glory, and legends of a destiny full of wonders awaiting him, drove Amon to build Dagalis, his city, as a mirror image of himself. Flamboyant, free, and absolutely magnificent—Amon lives his immortal life to the very fullest, often ignoring the consequences.

When you fall into his care, you become the Dragon’s newest toy; he is determined to dazzle you, and the temptation to surrender to him is overwhelming. However, Amon can only look away from the ticking bombs within Dagalis for so long, and you will inevitably be dragged down with him if the worst comes to pass.

Can you rely on each other to save yourselves, or is your love destined to burn you and Dagalis down?

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VA: Silvairre Devereaux

Raeya earned her title of Praefectus, leader of Limbo’s military forces and safekeeper of the realm, after centuries of hard work and devotion. Her oath to protect the people of Limbo is an extension of herself, one she wields in the battlefield against the voidbound and against anyone who dares to defile what she believes is just.

However, the truth behind the realm's darkest times will soon put Raeya's loyalty to the test, and with it, her ability to keep you out of harm's way.

When the inevitable cruelty of the Realm Between unfolds before you, what will you be willing to sacrifice to save what you love the most?

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VA: Abi Kumar

As ominous as his alias may sound, there has never been a kinder person in all of Limbo than Master Gael. However, rumors tainting the Master's image have begun to spread, and the streets murmur of a plot to overthrow him. Master Gael is facing a crisis in his mandate, and with your unexpected arrival, strategy is more important than ever.

You are met with an offer that's hard to refuse; if you play your part as Gael’s fiancée and help him secure his win in the upcoming Master elections once more, a ritual to return you to your world may be within reach.

But with powerful individuals keeping an eye on every movement of the Master and his lover, what are the chances of obtaining a victory for you both?

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VA: Aaron Moy

Stripped of their name and shunned after commiting treason, the Sovereign now known as Lord Envy resides alone in the Black Citadel, forgotten by those who fled the city and hated by the ones who refused to leave.

It doesn't take you too long to realize you two have nothing in common besides the fact that you hate each other to death. Envy is harsh, impertinent and unmoved by your plight. However, behind that mask of hatred lies a being that has been hurt almost beyond repair, and their call for help is too painful to ignore.

Can you break the walls they have built around themselves for centuries, or will you remain a prisoner in his castle for all eternity?

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VA: Zaria Weems

Ara seems ready to be your ally from the very beginning. Her desire to help you get back to your family seems genuine, and her fervent will to act as your protector impresses you. She believes you are the key to summoning her childhood hero, The Wanderer of Worlds, a mythical figure that is able to walk in every world to bring forth peace.

Ara's passionate personality is incredibly charming, but it hides an ambition that seems almost insatiable...and that may come with problems that are too big for you two.

What will you do when you find out how far she's willing to go?

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VA: Francfil Pontañeles

Seen as an ‘afterthought’ by the people of Limbo, no one has ever expected anything from Xal, not even himself. When you end up in his care, you fear you're going to spend the rest of your life watching him tinker with gadgets, but Xal swiftly proves you wrong when he discovers a ritual that could send you back home in no time.

However, a crucial mistake turns the tables, and you're not the only one to reappear in Faybourne. With no fearless gods with incredible powers around to aid you, you'll have to face the consequences your disappearance left behind...and somehow help Xal go back to his siblings.

But what if Xal doesn't want to leave—and you don't want him to go?

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Lázaro and Cécile's routes are Side Routes that will be produced after the Main Love Interests'. As they were not unlocked via Kickstarter, they'll take time to become available!

VA: Callum Sanders

After your encounter in Master Lysander's occult shop, you hoped you would never see those golden eyes again. Destiny, as always, is a capricious thing.

Your rocky return to Faybourne not only brings more questions to the table; it also gives you the opportunity to cross paths with the person who started it all. However, as you confront Lázaro—as they graciously introduce themself— they pretend they don't know anything about what happened in that suffocating room that summer morning.

You refuse to let them go that easily after what they did to you, and soon enough you're dragged into Lázaro's personal hell.

When your world quickly proves to be as dangerous as the realm of Limbo, will you trust the person who started it all?

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VA: TBA

When you first meet Cécile, Gael's bodyguard, you can't stop from shivering under the gaze of his bloodthirsty eyes. The Master's Dog, as everyone whispers behind his back, smells of death and despair; it is all he has known since he was born. Revenge on those who snatched his soul away from him is the only thing in his mind—only after serving his Master, who he so greatly worships.

He has no interest in you. In fact, he openly dislikes you. You can tell by the way he looks at you; if it were his choice, his hands would already be around your neck. And yet, you can't deny the attraction pulling you towards him, oblivious of how dangerous it would be if he were to worship you instead of his Master.

Can you survive the love of an obsessed killer, or will you meet your end at the raw passion of his hands?

✦ The MC is written as a young adult who is at least 21 years old. The player can headcanon their character as any age they desire, but every route is written so the MC is of an age similar to that of their chosen love interest, except for Father Pride who is older than the MC.

✦ The MC is a strong-willed individual who isn't afraid to jump into action. In the game, you'll be able to channel these characteristics in different ways. River is funny, kind and a bit too stubborn—but you choose how to manage those traits and whether to let them shine or not. The game will remember, so if you are not too athletic, maybe hitting that monster with a chair isn't a very good idea.

✦ The MC also has some default tastes, hobbies and memories. During the game, you'll be able to personalize how the Main Character feels about their interests, add new ones, or reflect about how the past affected them. The characters will remember this.

✦ The MC doesn't have an established appearance, therefore, you won't see them in game.

The beautifully deadly world of Limbo, The Realm Between. Woven in the eternal canvas that is the Great Void, it is a breathing world that lives in constant symbiosis with those who dwell therein. It rests in the custody of the Seven Sovereigns of Limbo, immortal guardians of unbelievable strength.

Few are those who venture past the Beyond; none have ever returned However, Limbo’s land is deteriorating fast. The balance that holds the threads of life are at the cusp of being consumed by the Midnight Tower, an entity beyond sense and reason that has grown dangerously close to the barrier between worlds. The voidbound, creatures made from the essence of nightmares, are stalking the cities closer to the Tower’s domain, leaving behind nothing but chaos and decay.

Explore the Seven Circles of Limbo and its seven capital cities, and get to know its people, their customs and their culture, inspired by Spanish provinces and cities such as the Valencian Community, Andalucía, Galicia and Aragón. Enjoy the unique animated backgrounds, whether you're lost in a harrowing swamp or just wandering through a boisterous main street.

✦ Seven love interests with independent routes and different kinds of romance. Live a passionate, mature and erotic experience with Amon, or a first love romance with Xal.

✦ Around 80+ hours of gameplay total. Each route will be around 15+ hours.

✦ Customizable Main Character (full name and pronouns changeable between he/him, she/her or they/them).

✦ Approximately 6 endings per character. Escape from the claws of despair with your loved one or succumb to the pressure of a world breaking to pieces...or perhaps something in the middle.

✦ A mature, sex-positive narrative point of view. Lost in Limbo treats consensual sex as a natural, integral and fun part of the game. The game therefore includes textually and slightly explicit love scenes, and the player has the option not to engage, stop or skip these scenes anytime.*

✦ Player choices can shape the Main Character's personality, traits, likes & dislikes, etc.

✦ A wide cast of side characters to make the world feel alive, each one of them with their opinion and relationship with the Main Character.

✦ A compendium to keep track of events, important information, etc.

*An exception of this is Amon's route, centered in the sexual tension between him and the MC. His sexual scenes with the Main Character are core to the story and therefore, happen no matter what. The player can still skip these scenes.

In Lost in Limbo, not everything is as it seems. Every route offers pieces of a much bigger puzzle ready to be solved, but small details mattter. Characters will remember how you treat them, what you tell them, and what you don't. Keeping your cards close to your chest may be wise, but in a world where you don't have the upper hand, choosing who to trust is key to survive.

✦ There will be four different choice systems that will give shape to your playthrough:

Trust Points centered around your love interest and the side characters; a low level of trust can translate into bad endings*.

Plot-driving choices that will shape the story and its possible endings, as well as the final fate of the characters.

Personality choices that will determine the nature of the Main Character's relationship with their love interest, as well as how the MC reacts to certain events, their abilities, hobbies, etc.

Flavor choices! These don't impact the game directly, but are there for the main objective of the game: having fun! Do you want ice cream, or perhaps a caramelized apple?

*In Lost in Limbo, there's not only one correct answer and one wrong answer. There's different ways of earning trust points without having to stick for the "one and only right answer", and mistakes can be redeemed...sometimes.

Please note that this may be subjected to changes in the future, but always keeping in mind player's opinions and always in favor of improving the game experience.

We'll first start working on an extended demo / prologue that will be offered for free. This will include an overhaul of sprites, several secondary characters mentioned in our first demo, etc. After that, we'll move to the character routes, and the first episode of each one of them will be offered for free to the public.

Two routes will always be worked on at the same time to make sure they complement each other well. The order in which we'll work on the routes is as follows.

✦ Amon / Gael > Ara / Xal > Envy / Raeya > Father Pride

We estimate that with our current team, development for the seven routes will take three years. Therefore, our first release plan aims for a full release in 2027.

Please remember there's only four of us; our writer is also our programmer, our artists are in charge of all the art departments, etc.

As stated above, outsourcing would speed up this process, but we want to be cautious with our release plan. If everything goes faster than expected, all the better!

✦ OUR SOCIALS ✦

For more info about our team etc., feel free to visit our official webpage, ravenstar.games!

🔮 TWITTER / X

🔮 OFFICIAL DISCORD SERVER

🔮 TIKTOK

YOU CAN CONTACT US AT [email protected] FOR ANY INQUIRIES!

#Lost in Limbo #Lost in Limbo VN #indie otome #indiedev #visual novel #dating sim #amare #oelvn #otome #interactive fiction

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luciferlightbringer · 11 months ago

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Love in a Hopeless Place

Chapter 4

Thanks again to all of my readers and new followers! I get more excited with every chapter. Here is Chapter 4! (Chapter 5 already basically done because the brainrot is so bad rn. Should I make the simps wait or should I post it tomorrow?) xoxo, Dany <3

Chapter 3|Chapter 4|Chapter 5|Updated through Chapter 12

Lucifer x prostitute fem!reader Word Count: 4.2k CW: Slowburn, Prostitution, Hurt/comfort, trauma, fluff, cuddles, depression, anxiety, family drama

Before long, you were back in the same black car again on the way to see Lucifer, a little more nervous and excited than you were last time. The last week felt both slow and quick at the same time. It was weird having something that you kinda looked forward to, instead of just living day to day in the torturous monotony that you had gotten used to in your short time in hell.

You wore your same jacket from the last time, but beneath you opted for a soft, baby blue, crop-top sweater and tightly fitting, black pants, with some more simple lingerie underneath. You dressed more simple and comfortable this time because you did not expect it to go in a sexual route, but your outfit was still alluring if that was the route he wanted to go down. It is the type of outfit that might get some confused looks from Larry and the other girls, but since it was all covered by a jacket, no one commented on it as you made your way out of the Lounge. You still did your makeup and hair the same though, even though it felt a little over the top for the type of setting you anticipated for the night.

You made a little more effort to strike up a conversation with the driver this time, both to give you something to focus on, and to be nice since he would most likely be making this route more regularly, and because you always tried to be nice to people in the types of jobs that were more likely to get ignored or yelled at. At least on Earth. You could tell the driver was not much of a talker, but he still reciprocated in light conversation.

Soon you arrived once again at the big, beautiful manor, and the driver escorted you up the stairs to the front door. This time, you were surprised to see Lucifer standing in the hallway, about 20 feet in from the doorway, waiting for you. As you entered, you saw a warm nervous smile form across his face, and he started to walk towards you as you handed your coat to the driver as you had done before.

"Welcome back," he said, now standing before you, a glimmer of joy in his eyes. "It's good to see you again."

You smiled back at him, "It's good to see you again too. I hope you have been doing well since our last encounter?" you ask with warm curiosity in your eyes.

"Yes, I have, thank you" Lucifer responded. Lucifer had started to look over you again, still the same person as last time, but something felt different about you. Your outfit and form was still as attractive as last time, but it was more simple, comforting, even the way your face looked was softer. Everything about the person you were now in front of him felt like a softer, less sharp version of yourself than the one that he had first laid eyes upon a week prior. Even the energy of your words felt different. Like the sharp bite of sensuality and dominance that had lingered on every word that had escaped your lips previous, now felt sanded down to something more soft and warm, like the way sharp rocks turned to sand after enduring the constant crashing of the waves.

He held out one of his black hands to you and you took it, and he pulled your hand up to his lips, and gave a soft kiss on your knuckles. His lips were soft against your skin, and your skin was soft against his lips. Both of you felt little butterflies in your stomachs from the contact, but you both just gave the other a smile.

Lucifer once again escorted you up to his room, talking a little bit more about each other's week. You let Lucifer do most of the talking since he was the customer and, besides, you did not really like to talk about work. Pretty much all you did besides work, was sleep and hang out with one or two of the girls that you had become close with at the Lounge.

You both arrived in Lucifer's room and he turned to close the door. He then sighed and allowed his posture to slouch. He turned back to look at you, his expression now full of sadness and... guilt? What just happened? He was chatting and laughing up a storm just a minute ago? He looked up at you, nervously fiddling with his cane.

"I... uhhh... I wanted to apologize for last time," he said before looking back at the floor. Apologize? For what?

"I just... I don't know what happened. Something set me off and... it was really scary... It had nothing to do with you. Its my stuff... I'm not used to that happening around other people. And I'm not used to crying that much... especially not in front of people...," he covered his face with his hands and took in a jagged breath.

'Was he really apologizing for having a panic attack and then crying at receiving comfort?' You heart ached to see this gentle angelic creature full of so much pain in front of you. It also made you angry, but now was not the time for that. Without another thought you closed the gap between the two of you, pulling him in and wrapping him a soft embrace.

Lucifer flinched at the sudden embrace, peaking out from behind his hands, looking up at you with eyes that were already on their way to forming more tears.

"Listen to me. I don't normally tell people what they can and can't do, but you will not apologize to me for crying, feeling bad, needing comfort, or anything of that sort in my presence... Do you understand me?" you say softly but sternly as you hold him.

Lucifer remained frozen in your arms, processing your words, as more tears started to well up in his eyes.

"I am not going to stand here and pretend that I know what you are going through, but I know what it's like to feel alone, unseen, and to want for once to have someone listen to me or just fucking hold me. So please..." You open your arms a little, move his hands away from his face, and tip Lucifer's face up to look at you. "If this helps, which, does it?"

Lucifer gives you a soft nod as you hold up his chin as he gives you a soft, sad 'mhmm', his eyes swimming with sorrow and joy.

"Then don't you ever fucking apologize to me. Got it?" you whisper to him.

He nodded, as the dam that was holding back this next round of tears broke. He buried his head against the soft skin of your neck and melted into you as he sobbed. Through some of the sobs he tried to talk and explain things that had happened before, but it was hard to understand through the hard breathing and hicks of air between the sobs. You softly shushed him and told him that you did not have to try to tell it all to you now.

After a few minutes, he calmed down enough for you to ask if he wanted to get more comfortable so that you did not have to put him to bed in his suit clothes again if he ended up falling asleep again. He said he wasn't going to fall asleep again, but he agreed that snuggling up to you in more comfortable clothes would be nice also you did not trust that he would not fall asleep again.

He changed into a baggy sweater and some sweatpants and walked back into the room to see you sitting on the edge of his bed. You smiled and giggled to yourself as he walked back in the room. You never expected to see the King of Hell looking so casual, he looked so sweet and innocent, especially in a sweater that looked a little too big for him. He crossed his arms and pouted as you laughed.

"What's so funny?" he said, raising an eyebrow. You suddenly realize how your laugh may have some off to someone who most likely harbors some level of self esteem issues beneath his normal vailed charismatic character.

"Oh! I'm sorry. You just look really cute," you say with a sheepish smile. "it's just... not a look that I ever imagined you in."

A blush ripped across Lucifer's cheeks. He loved compliments but still didn't expect them from you, especially with how blunt they were. But he figured it was probably something you did a lot. He walked over to a record player that was against one of the walls of his room, and put on a record to play in the background. Its sounded like... Swan Lake? Or something close to it. Did they actually know about Swan Lake in hell?

You both talked about where he wanted you to be, and you moved to sit over the spot where Lucifer normally slept, and sat criss-cross. You looked at Lucifer, opening you arms to him as an invitation. Lucifer crawled up onto the bed and curled up into your lap with his head against your chest. You arms enveloped him again as your warm body heat made him melt into you again.

Everything about you felt so gentle and plush, you had a soft scent about you, kinda like... what was it... Lavendar and Shea Butter? Something like that. Your sweater was soft too. He missed the dress you wore last week, but that would have just turned him on and that was not what he was wanting right now. He still enjoyed your simple beauty, and appreciated that it seemed you had understood his cryptic message he had told your boss.

"So, it seems my message to you got through ok?" he asked sleepily.

"It did," you replied softly smiling down at him.

"And you are ok this this? You won't get in trouble for doing this instead of sexual things, right?" he asked, looking up with sleepy concern.

You ran card your fingers through his hair, "No, mostly because it's no ones business what I do on house calls, as long as you are happy."

Right, because its what the customer wants. Something about that made his chest tighten, but he let it go. The 'why' of the situation didn't matter right now, he felt cared for and that's what he needed right now.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence, outside of the gentle music that played in the background, for some time. For how long, you had no idea, but every moment was bliss. You watched as Lucifer shed a few more tears in the comfort of your arms, his breathing started to slow and his eyelids started to grow heavy. Then you felt him shift and look up at you.

"Oh, I had a question..." Lucifer said, half asleep.

"What's up?" you said, god he was so cute when he was fighting back sleep.

"How much... is too much?" he asked with half open eyes.

You looked at him confused, "How much is too much, what?"

"Time," he said, "Time with you?"

You were starting to understand the question a little more, "Like tonight?"

He shook his head, "No like... nights, amount of nights."

"Oh! Like how often can you request for me to come over?" you say.

He nods as his head laid back down on you chest.

"As often as you would like," you say softly with a chuckle, running your fingers through his hair again.

Lucifer thought for a second and hummed at the sensation of your fingers in his hair, "Like... two or three times a week? I don't wanna be... weird and ask for too much." He was trying so hard to finish his thoughts and stay awake.

"It's cute that you would think I would find anything weird. But yes, two or three times a week is fine. You will just have to let Larry though so that I don't get scheduled with anyone else, ok?"

He nodded, and his eyelids fell heavy. A few minutes later, Lucifer was once again asleep in your arms. It seemed as if it was really important for him to ask that question before he fell asleep.

Once again, you took a few minutes to look at his sleeping face, so soft and peaceful. You were glad that tonight seemed to work out better than last time. You were so curious as to what pains it was that plagued his mind. I'm sure some of it had to do with the whole 'fallen angel' thing, but the way he reacted to intimacy felt like it held something deeper. He hoped he would tell you at some point as you are allowed to continue to be there for him, but that was for him to decide, and you needed to be careful. Lucifer held the power in the dynamic, one wrong move, and the relationship would be snuffed out. You wanted to make sure you did everything to make sure that did not happen too soon. You knew this dynamic could never last forever, but something about him made you want to be there, to help him feel better in this small way that it seems you had started to, for him, and, selfishly, a little bit for yourself.

It was time, and soon you slipped out from under him, and tucked him in as you had done the previous time. You wrote out another small note, letting him know that he can request for you 2 or 3 times a week, because you didn't trust that his sleepy memory would have held onto that conversation super well, and you left it on his bedside table again before leaving for the night. The driver was prepared this time to make sure you got paid for the night before you left the car.

Lucifer would wake up the next morning, feeling fluttery and rested again, to find your note again on the bedside table. He would immediately call to schedule his next few appointments. He didn't want to have to fight anyone for his time with you.

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Over the next several weeks, you and Lucifer would meet up your agreed upon 2 to 3 nights a week, it ended up normally being close to every other night, and you were perfectly fine with that. You enjoyed having half of your evenings being more chill, less sex oriented than your other nights of work, and after a while, it almost felt like it wasn't work at all. More like... hanging out with a friend who just happened to pay for your time. Sometimes that made you feel guilty, but that was your job, he never said anything about it, and it gave you some level of protection in case something ever did go wrong.

You gradually started do less and less with your hair and makeup when you would go over, or you would just clean it off in the car or at Lucifer's place. Lucifer liked getting to see your natural facial features, but he never told you that directly. Every time you would walk in the door, Lucifer felt like the worries of his life would almost cease to exist, things felt more tolerable, even the pains of his past.

It took a few more nights before Lucifer could get past the hug turning into tears and cuddles until he fell asleep, but eventually he did. He didn't realize just how starved for affection he was until you starting coming around, and over time he felt the desperation for it that would send him into tears start to wane and become more tolerable. He still always feel asleep, but then again, you always stayed up late with him. Plus, he mentioned that he normally struggled to fall asleep on his own, and the nights with you made the sleep come much more easily.

The sessions of crying turned into nights of hanging out, having dinner, being introduced to his study full of ducks, helping him try to organize the ducks so that he could actually use his office a little more, playing board games, watching tv, and telling stories, including stories about Lucifer's past.

The first one started after he off-handedly mentioned needing to text Charlie.

"Who is Charlie?" you asked one night while you guys ate dinner on the couch while watching a show.

Lucifer slumped a little in his seat, and started to fidget with his phone, "She... well... she's my daughter."

Charlie Morningstar. Ugh, duh. You definitely knew he had a daughter. It was just surprising that he had not spoken at all about her. Lilith she could understand him not wanting to talk about, but why not Charlie? She was still in hell, and very active in its community.

"Oh right! I heard something on the news a few months ago about her... running a hotel of some kind, right? I don't remember much about it" you said. You remembered people at the brothel making fun of her for a couple of days because of a really awkward pitch she had made about it on the news, but that was a while ago, and of course you wouldn't tell Lucifer that.

Lucifer continued to mess with his phone, not looking up at you, "Uhh, ya... something like that... I'm not really sure," he sighed, "We don't talk much..."

You think for a minute, wanting to choose your next words carefully, "Why not?"

Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed deeply.

"I'm sorry, we don't-" you start to say.

"No no, its fine, its just... hard. Umm... Our family... used to be the best thing in the world, Lilith, Charlie, and I. We were… so happy, I had the best girls in the nine circles by my side. But I was busy, being the King and what-not, so I did not get as much time with Charlie. Lilith mostly took care of her, raised her, and Charlie grew up kinda distanced from me. I... barely know that much about her, especially now, and the stuff she does tell me, doesn't seem to fucking stick in my brain half the time, and I just feel like I'm a deadbeat father who just calls her to ask her to do things for me sometimes and I-" he stopped and sucked in a long breath, then exhaled. He could tell he was starting to talk fast and get really upset, and he didn't want that. He never talked about this part of his life with anyone and he really wanted to tell you, because with you he actually felt safe enough to talk about it.

He finally turned to look at you, "When Lilith left me 7 years ago, I felt like I lost any basic connection I had with Charlie... because she is so much closer with her mother. I... I want to talk to her, I want to know her... I just... I don't know how... I thought I used to but now... I'm just broken and useless to her..." Lucifers eyes slid back down to his lap and covered his face with his hands.

You looked at Lucifer for a minute, before opening you arms to invite him into your lap, as you usually did when he started to get sad again. Lucifer looked up at you, and soon crawled into your lap.

"I think, the next time you get the chance, try to ask her what she has been up to, how she is doing, maybe see if she wants to hang out or something? I'm sure she misses you too, maybe wants to get to know you too but also does not know how to start that conversation either. That's how I would feel about it anyway." you say as you stroke his hair.

"Why, so I can embarrass her and prove to her in person that I am a loser, deadbeat father? A walking trash pile of a person?" he pouted with a sniffle.

"Lucifer Morningstar," you say sternly looking down at him. You felt him flinch as you use his full name. "You stop that right now, that is not true and you are only hurting yourself and getting in your own way. You aren't doing anything to fix the problem if you don't at least try."

Lucifer groaned and pouted as he laid against your chest, "But it's scary though."

"Yes, and you are the King of Hell. You are apparently to scariest being in all of creation, and you are going to pout and cry into my chest and tell me you are scared of... trying to talk to your daughter?" you say with some sass.

Lucifer laid silently in you chest for a minute, starting to fidget with the soft fabric of your sweater, "Well... when you put it that way..."

"I make sense? I know, I'm a genius," you say with a sarcastic tone, "Look, if you try and she brushes you away, that's one thing. But you don't know if you don't try, ok?"

Lucifer continued to pout in you lap before giving you a begrudging "ok..."

"Good, I'm sure a good opportunity will arise at some point for you to try. I'm here for you when or if you need support around that," you reward him by nuzzling the top of his head and playing with his hair as you went back to watching your show. You felt Lucifer soften and purr as he enjoyed the sensory of you playing with his hair until, you guessed it, he fell asleep on your lap.

______________________________________________________________

Well, it did not take long for your little conversation to move into action. A couple weeks later, while at work, Larry came running in to find you in the mid-afternoon after one of your in-house sessions, a bit of urgency in his walk and face as he approached you.

"Babydoll! Change of plans to your schedule today, 'Lance' requested your start time be moved earlier and he said money was no object, so I'm cuttin' you loose to be with him for the rest of the day. Sounded like he was desperate for you today," said Larry in a hurry, but adding a little wiggle of his brows to the end of his statement.

That didn't sound good. Did something happen to him? "Uh, ok, no problem. How long until the car comes?"

Larry looked at his watch, "Five minutes."

Five minutes?! What the fuck Lucifer?!

You ran up to your room, got changed into more casual clothes, threw on your jacket, and ran out the down. Cynthhhhia tried to snark something at you on your way out the door, something about where you were going off in such a hurry with a bare face, but you didn't pay her any mind as you ran outside.

You saw the car and jumped into it, only to be surprised to see Lucifer sitting in the back of the car greeting you with a nervous smile.

"Lucifer!" you say after you close the door to that car, "Are you ok?! What's going on, you have never requested me early before. What is happening?!" You looked over him, nothing seemed to be physically wrong, he looked ok, just really nervous and... sweating a little?

Lucifer fidgeted nervously with his cane as he smiled at you, "Well, uhhh... Funny story! So, uh... Charlie called me, and... said she needed my help with something involving her hotel, and she invited me over, and I said yes!"

"Great!" you beamed, but you were still confused, you waited for the next part of the statement, but he just remained sitting with the big nervous smile on his face. "So... what does that have to do with me?"

Lucifer messed with his collar, "Well... uhhh... I said yes, and then I got off the phone, and I mayyyyy have started freaking out a little, and I did not want to go over there by myself, so I wanted to bring someone with me, and all I could think of who I could trust was you. So I called your boss, bought out your time for the rest of the day at double your usual price and now you are coming with me to see my daughter... right now." Lucifer sped through before ending with a big, very nervous smile.

Lucifer Morningstar, the King of Hell, had hired you, his regular prostitute, to go with him to see his estranged daughter that he had not really talked to in years, in public, at her hotel?!

Oh my fucking god.

_____________________________________________________________

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#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #lucifer smut #lucifer x reader #lucifer fanfiction #lucifer x y/n #lucifer #lucifer magne #lucifer hazbin #fanfic writing #fanfiction #fanfic #hurt/comfort #slow burn

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norrisjpg · 5 months ago

Text

scott street - ᴍᴠ¹

in which, the pressure of the 2024 formula 1 season becomes too much for the dutch driver, so instead of leaning on his best friend for support, he pushes her away.

contains: angst, swearing, crying, unresolved conflict, unhappy ending, shouting, mentions of childhood trauma, depression, jos verstappen mentioned (ew), a gilmore girls reference, not proof-read.

max verstappen x unnamed female character

...

she thought something was off, something wasn't right - and she was correct.

it was right after the belgian grand prix, after max had lost another win through no fault of his own, after mclaren had gained a few more points on his beloved oracle red bull racing.

she was there, she always had been, waiting for him after the race like she always did. although she had prepared herself, nothing could have prepared her for this.

he knew he needed her, but he was just so wound up, so tired of the shitty car, so done with the team that he couldn't even bring himself to look at her when he walked into his driver's room.

"hey, are you okay?" she asked softly, standing up with the dutchman entered the room, his usual sadness replaced with something else - he was fuming. "max?"

"i'm fine." he mumbled, discarding his helmet carelessly to the floor.

"do you want to talk about it?" her voice was somewhat comforting, but nowhere near enough to calm the pure rage bubbling in his chest.

"no." max sighed, refusing to turn around and look at his best friend.

she nodded, not that he could see her, but it was more of a nod to herself. okay, he doesn't want to talk, that's okay. but she also wondered if he knew it wasn't his fault, because he couldn't help a ten-place grid penalty brought on by his team, and he certainly couldn't help that the mercedes were exceptionally quick today and being held up by cars he was lapping wasn't helping him either - it just wasn't his fault.

of course, she knew he'd be annoyed about his race - but that wasn't the route of his emotions, his father was. max had obviously told her about the traumatic events of his childhood, long after they'd happened, although she was around when most of them took place.

however, she didn't bring it up.

"max?" she spoke quietly, her voice a little airy. "it's not your fault, you know that, yeah?"

"i know it's not my fucking fault." he spat back quickly.

"come on, max, please talk to me." she pried a little more. "it hurts to see you like this."

"oh, it hurts you?" he scoffed, finally turning around to look at her, anger ever-so-present in his pretty eyes. "how the fuck do you think it makes me feel? you always manage to make everything about you, don't you? just can't stand the attention being away from you for just one fucking second, can you?"

it took everything in her to not physically recoil at his words - he'd never ever been like this, and she wasn't going to lie, her heart shattered at his cold attitude toward her. she was only trying to help him and he was acting like this.

"nothing to say, huh?" he almost laughed, but there was nothing resembling a smile on his face. "you know what? just get out."

"sorry?" was all she could muster, an expression of hurt confusion on her face.

"you heard me, leave." he repeated it, squashing her hopes that he was just angry and didn't mean it, that he'd apologise and lay in her arms and just tell her how he really felt.

she got up, putting her phone back in her pocket, glancing over at him to see that he'd turned back to desk, fiddling with something on there.

hearing the door shut behind her was confirmation of what he'd just done - why the fuck did he do that?

head in his hands, he slumped down on the couch, already missing her presence. clearly, max hadn't meant any of that, but it was like word vomit. he felt as if he was floating outside of his body, watching him shove his best friend away, and he couldn't do anything about it.

outside, she stood there, motionless. what the fuck had just happened? gritting her teeth, delicate tears fell down her cheeks as she started to walk out of the red bull garage in aimless despair.

maybe if she hadn't said anything he wouldn't have lashed out of her? did she pry too much? why wouldn't he just talk to her?

"ah, good afternoon." a familiar voice came from behind her as she stood in the paddock, unsure of what to do with herself.

daniel ricciardo.

"oh, hi daniel." she thumbed away the salty tears and sniffled before she turned around - but it was no use, daniel caught on straight away.

"what's wrong?" he furrowed his eyebrows, putting a hand on her shoulder.

she knew there was no point in lying, daniel would get it out of her eventually. "max kinda... blew up at me? told me that i make everything about me and then told me to leave- don't say anything to him though."

"you know i can't promise that, but are you okay?" he shook his head, mentally noting to bring that up with max in the near future.

"i'm not sure."

...

a pretty afternoon in monaco had brought about a lunch between max verstappen and daniel ricciardo. a whole week had passed since the incident, and neither had spoken to each other - both absolutely terrified of what the other would say.

max was scared that she'd push him away, the same way he did. she was scared that max didn't want her back.

the reality was, max needed help - he needed her back. since his outburst, things had gone downhill. the car wasn't looking as good as he'd hoped in the factory, one of his cats was ill, and someone had rear-ended his car somehow - it was as if the universe was screaming at him to just apologise to her, get in his car and go to her apartment, tell her he didn't mean any of it and then finally tell her how he really felt - but max verstappen had fallen deaf, clearly.

luckily, daniel ricciardo hadn't.

"max, what is going on with you?" he asked as the two sat on the bench, slightly hot from the round of padel they'd just played.

"what?" he scrunched his nose at the australian, glancing at him briefly.

"you." daniel repeated. "you're drinking way more than usual, i'm the only person you've seen other than for work purposes, and then you pushed your best friend away - god, why did you push her away?"

"how the fuck do you know about that?" max snapped, quickly apologising with a look afterward. "sorry, how do you know about that, though?"

"she was crying in the paddock after the race." he nodded, pursing his lips. "told me what you said."

"i didn't mean to, okay? i miss her. i know i shouldn't have said what i said, but i can't undo it. i just... i'm scared- what if this is it? what if she won't take me back this time?"

"max." daniel said firmly. "i promise you, that girl will always take you back - you could kill someone and she'd still stand by your side."

"what have i done, daniel?"

...

she was more okay than she thought she was going to be. monday evenings were always reserved for max - dinners, movie nights, whatever they decided to do, it was together.

this monday night was different though.

there wasn't the familiar dutch laughter bouncing around her apartment. there wasn't the delicious smell of home-cooked food lingering in the corridor. there wasn't the colour of freshly bought tulips adding to her plain white kitchen (max always gave her pretty flowers when he came over.) and there certainly wasn't the comforting smell of max's aftershave stuck on her cushions anymore.

it had been three weeks and no word from him.

maybe it was time to move on. maybe he wasn't coming back this time.

she decided early on that it was his decision to return - he was the one who pushed her away so why should she make an effort? in no way was she saying it was for the better, but she was... relatively okay. yes, of course there were things she missed about him - no one wanted to do anything on a monday evening apparently.

so, she spent her monday evenings alone, drowning herself in blankets and fast food, watching some movie that she would never even the end of of - because she fell asleep every time, without fail.

so she did move on.

max on the other hand? he was moving backwards - rapidly.

he thought he was borderline depressed. rotting in his apartment with his cats, occasionally venturing out of the house to buy food or see daniel and lando - but that was it. it was as if all the life had been sucked out of his existence - all the colour, all the light.

so, when he turned up to her apartment on a rainy monday evening, it was a knife to the heart, to the head, to the gut.

he walked into the lobby, planning on going straight up to her and confessing every single feeling he'd had since that dreadful day in belgium.

but, he was met with an unexpected sight. there she was, smiling, with a man.

she was laughing, with him. they were walking towards her apartment, about to head into the elevator. if they were on normal terms, max would have waltzed right up to her and asked who he was - but he didn't have that privilege anymore, remember?

so, he turned around, shocked and almost reduced to tears, and he left.

if only he knew, she would have run to him in a heartbeat.

but, maybe it was for the better.

...

coming next... novacane, ʟɴ⁴ motion sickness, ᴍᴠ¹ (part two)

#formula one #fanfiction #f1 fanfic #formula 1 #max verstappen #max verstappen angst #max verstappen x reader #scott street #norrisjpg

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owliellder · 1 year ago

Text

The Finer Details

Post DI! Leon Kennedy x f! Painter Reader

MDNI 18+

(Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, Session 4, Session 5, The Reveal)

Description: Leon realizes that retirement is in his best interest now that he's getting older. All of his accomplishments as an agent mean he's truly earned a painting to commemorate..

Warnings: Not Proofread, Age gap! (reader is anywhere between mid-late 20's and Leon is 40), Porn w/ Plot, Use of she/her pronouns, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcoholism, mentions of trauma/PTSD/depression, P in V smut (wrap it NEOW), Leon cries during sex 💔

Tags: Older Leon Kennedy, Younger afab!Reader, Leon is SAD but he is your muse, Crying, mentions of Leon masturbating, starts off with Dom! Leon and Sub! Reader, falls into switch territory because that man needs some serious TLC, Praise kink, Hickeys, Handjob, Nipple play, Oral sex (m! and f! receiving), and a heavy dose of Aftercare

Final Word Count: 22.6k

Author's Note: Ta-da! I put a lot of work into this last chapter, like actually becoming the president for a couple hours, but I really wanted to make it worth everyone's time for sticking around and reading all the way through.

Thank you so much for following along! All the sweet comments from you guys never fails to make my day!

^//v//^

Cross posted on AO3

The Reveal

Almost three months.

It took almost three months for Leon's portrait to fully dry after it had been varnished. You'd checked it almost daily after the two month mark due to Leon's constant pestering. He was understandably antsy, and admittedly, you were too.

There was a lot of convincing involved, but you managed to keep the man at home while you transported the painting to the White House. He worried it would be damaged en-route. Such a little worry wart.

Setting up the painting's respective spot a column away from Chris and Claire's seemed very appropriate; tall, fake bushes sitting on either side of where it would be placed, a warm yellow bulb lighting up the inside of the decorative archway, and the patterned golden frame where the canvas would forever be now hung empty in that portrait hallway, waiting to be pieced together and completed.

The shiny gold placard had already been screwed onto the frame, words zapped on it via laser:

Leon S. Kennedy

USSTRATCOM Agent from 1998 - 2011

D.S.O. Agent from 2011 - 2017

You knew how long he'd been working as an agent, but it was still baffling nonetheless. Nearly 20 years of non-stop intense and usually very traumatizing work, what a feat.

Moving on, you'd worked out the plans for Leon's farewell party with the President and a few coordinators over the span of a few days, making sure to store the painting in a secure room for the time being. It was to stay covered with a violet piece of velvet cloth up until the reveal at the party, no one was allowed to see it besides you, the President, and the various security guards working the grounds.

After another two extra months of waiting, the farewell party was drawing near. There had to be enough time given for invitations to be sent out to people, wait for said people to RSVP, and allow travel time. And at this point, Leon was busting at the seams; extremely nervous, excited, and even a little scared at the prospect of it all.

Your words from that second painting session all those months ago never left his mind: "Seeing the portrait once it's finished is going to be an incredibly emotional ordeal. It's a reminder that this is truly the end of an era for you, Mr. Kennedy..."

The man clung to that, doing his best to internalize it and mentally prepare himself for what was to come. He was hoping you were exaggerating, but from what Chris, Claire, and even Jill have told him about their experience after the fact, he knew deep down that you'd seen it all too well before.

What Leon failed to realize was that he wasn't alone anymore. Sure he had his friends to help, but he'd never had someone to come home to everyday.

During the last few sessions, he had asked to stay with you at your apartment, citing the potential aftermath of the party as reasoning. However, you really didn't need him to explain his reasoning, you would've let him. Even if he just felt like it, you would've welcomed him with opened arms.

Besides, he'd already been staying at your place for longer periods of time over the months. You'd visited his house a few times, but he made sure to whine and complain about how bare and boring it was. If you remember correctly, Leon had said, word for word, that your apartment "felt like a warm hug". With that, he shelled up with you in only a couple weeks before the painting had dried. He made special effort to learn your routine, wanting to give you the space that you needed while also maximizing his time spent with you.

Leon was an actual angel, you were wholeheartedly convinced. Some days you would come home after working on another painting to the man cooking dinner, having bought an expensive wine to share with you. When your hands would start to ache and your back and shoulders were sore from the long hours spent holding a paintbrush in an awkward hunched position, he would set aside anything he had going on just to give you all the massages, kisses, and love that you could ever want.

Nothing was ignored when it came to you and your wants and needs. Leon admitted awhile back that he felt guilty for intruding on your space, though you were very quick to shut that down. He was far from a burden, actually lining up more with a dream come true.

And just like he did with you, you spared nothing while getting to know the in's and out's of the man that occupied your mind, heart, and home. You learned his favorite meals, watched his favorite shows and movies with him, returning the massages when he would return from the gym, and paid extra attention to how he liked to be held at night. Who would've guessed that the Leon Kennedy loved to be the little spoon?

What you spent the most time on was making sure to listen when he suddenly went on tangents about his past. They really did haunt him. You would wake up in the middle of the night to him huddled at the top of the bed, arms wrapped around his legs and head between his knees as he did his best to cry quietly. All you could do for him in those moments was pull him against your chest, gently rocking him back and forth while whispering sweet nothings, just until he felt either ready to talk or ready to fall back asleep. If he just wanted more comfort, then that's what he got, obviously.

He was only recently put on a couple medications to help him better manage his PTSD and anxiety since he really had to cut back on the alcohol in order to take them the way he needed. Definitely worth it to both you and him seeing as his nightmares lessened in intensity and frequency.

Now here you were, straightening out Leon's tie for him since his hands were failing him, nerves getting the better of him. He had taken his meds a few minutes ago, wanting to have the full effect during the party to combat any destructive behaviors during it, so it was no wonder his hands were still trembling.

"You're going to do so well, Leon." You smiled, giving him a gentle pat between his pecs after tucking his tie into his suit jacket. He was staring straight ahead, eyebrows furrowed with worry as he stared at himself in the mirror. "You've made so much progress and I couldn't be any prouder."

He licked his dry lips before slowly looking down at you, giving you the best smile he could, which was really just him pulling his lips back tight. If it weren't for you constantly being around to encourage him and push him to get better, he would not be able to attend his own farewell party.

How had he managed to get so far without this level of love and care? Where would he even be without you? Hopefully later when his mind isn't racing a million miles per minute, Leon will be able to tell you just how lucky he is to have you in his life.

Leon watched you in the mirror as you walked around to stand behind him, straightening out his suit jacket in random spots until deciding to just wrap your arms around his midriff, pressing the side of your face against his back with a content sigh. He brought his still-trembling hands up to hold onto your arms, rubbing his thumbs up and down across your soft skin.

His eyes settled back on his own face after staring at your arms linked around him, letting out a shaky sigh of his own as he attempted to just focus on this moment. You were perfect, ethereal, a true work of art. He wouldn't trade any of this for the world.

It took some time, about an hour, before Leon's medication was starting to kick in. You were definitely a big help, he couldn't give all the credit to his meds.

His relaxed demeanor wasn't easy to spot, the man was just naturally rigid, but you waited until he let you know that he was ready; ready to go to his farewell party, ready to see the portrait you painted for him, ready to put in the effort into accepting the next chapter in his life.

The drive to the White House was seamless, having been picked up in a blacked out SUV that held four personal guards, courtesy of the President. Leon wasn't going to complain, he actually kind of liked the pampering effect that came with being driven around by a dedicated entourage.

Almost all good feelings were drained from Leon when the car finally pulled up to the front of the White House where more guards stood waiting to escort the two of you inside. It was still early in the night, but the sun had set long ago, making for quite the beautiful atmosphere.

He could see numerous party attendees walking up the stairs, dressed up in their fanciest outfits for him. He held your hand the entire way up the stairs and into the entrance hall with a grip that was sure to leave your hand hurting. No matter, you could tell he needed you. That vice grip he had was well worth it for his comfort.

There were quite a few more people than either you or Leon expected. It seems as if all available agents, young, old, and retired, had been sent an invitation for tonight, along with quite a few high-ranking government workers. Luckily, this was a private event; no reporters, no news, only those who had been fortunate enough to be invited.

The first to spot you two was Chris who quickly made his way over to pull Leon into a bone-crushing hug, giving him a few solid pats on the back before letting go. Leon only reciprocated the hug with one hand, the other refusing to let go of yours, though his grip had loosened by now.

"Where's Claire?" Leon muttered, leaning to the side to scan over the sizeable crowd. "She's.." Chris turned around to also scan the crowd, squinting a bit as he looked. "She's somewhere. My wife is with her, her family, and Jill."

Leon pursed his lips with a curt nod, humming quietly in acknowledgement before standing straight again. He glanced down at where his hand held yours, squeezing it again for just a second as if to remind himself that you haven't gone anywhere.

Chris had turned back around to see the small gesture Leon gave to you, a coy smirk on his face. "What uhh... what's all this, huh?" He subtly pointed between you and the other man, voice lowered.

Leon cleared his throat and looked around to make sure no one was close enough to hear despite the volume in the hall. "... M'gonna save that for the-.. the speech." Chris just nodded, crossing his arms before slowly turning to look through the crowd again. "Alright, well, let me go find the family and bring them over before you're swarmed." And with that, Chris made his way back into the crowd.

Unfortunately, Leon had been spotted by the rest of the partygoers before Chris could return with everyone. Many pleasantries were repeated while also returning small talk with the people he recognized, which was a lot. You managed to avoid most of it, only being questioned a few times due to the rather obvious hold the man had on you. Despite having attended the last few parties like this, most people unable to recognize you as the artist. A blessing and a curse.

The next couple hours were spent eating finger foods, conversing with whoever, and enjoying the way Leon started to flow with the event. He soon found his way to Chris, Claire, their partners and kids, and Jill which really helped him loosen up. He needed the more familiar faces, having now let go of your hand fully to talk more animatedly with them. You made sure to stick by his side as long as you could, letting out a soft laugh every time you noticed his quick glances over to you to check if you're still there.

The time eventually did come for you to part with Leon, signaling a couple guards to follow you down a few hallways until reaching the room where the portrait sat, still covered with the violet cloth. The decision to keep it back here for so long was made by the President, wanting less of a sudden reveal and more of a build up.

Normally it would already be hanging in the entrance hall, covered and ready to be revealed, but not wanting to risk any potential damage, you were asked to hold off bringing it in until the President was ready to give the speech leading up to Leon's.

It'd been set in the golden frame rather quickly with the help from one of the guards that walked down with you. You had the guard to hold it up for you so you could give it one final good look before he was instructed to lead you back. After recovering, you took the portrait in both hands, holding it close as you were escorted back through the halls and into the main entrance hall.

By now everyone had directed their focus closer to the center of the back wall. Next to where the President stood, your own art easel was now set up. That was mostly as homage to you and it wasn't like anyone besides you would understand that it's yours, though Leon did pick up on that little feature. He'd been staring at the back of that thing for months, counted the various old streaks of paint on the pale wood over and over.

It made his farewell all the more personal, struggling to mask the feeling of the ever-growing pit in his stomach from the friends he was still standing next to.

The sound of a mic being tapped drew everyone's attention in to the President, the volume in the hall quieting to a whisper, soon completely silent as he began to speak into the mic;

"Ladies and gentlemen, I stand before you to honor and pay tribute to a true hero, a dedicated public servant, and a loyal friend who has served our nation with unwavering dedication for the past 19 years. It is with great respect and admiration that I address you on this occasion, as we bid farewell to a remarkable agent who has exemplified the very best qualities of service and sacrifice." As the President spoke, Leon held his breath, hands gripping onto his suit jacket to keep from trembling again.

At this point, you'd silently walked along the side with the guards from before, bringing the covered portrait up to the front before carefully placing it on your easel. "Throughout this nation's history, these agents have played an essential role in ensuring the safety and security of our nation's people and have consistently placed their lives on the line to protect the sanctity of our democracy. And today, we acknowledge one agent who has done so with unparalleled devotion."

"This retiring agent has been a silent sentinel, ensuring the continuity of our democratic ideals. Through countless hours of training, vigilance, and selflessness, they have demonstrated a level of commitment that is nothing short of extraordinary. But beyond their exceptional professional duties, this agent has been a friend and a confidant to those of us privileged to work alongside them. They have been a source of strength, a steady hand in turbulent times, and a symbol of the unbreakable bond that can form within the ranks of those who dedicate their lives to service."

You positioned yourself opposite of the President, placing your hands behind your back to keep your posture tall as you now smiled at the crowd, subtly scanning for Leon. His eyes were already on you when you found him, and your smile only widened further.

It prompted his own nervous smile, toying with the buttons on his jacket while turning his attention back to the President, wanting to remain respectful to his, honestly, very flattering speech so far. You followed Leon's eyes, seemingly having the same idea to just watch and listen.

"The sacrifices made by our agents often go unnoticed by the public, and that is by design. Their commitment to duty is matched only by their humility. But today, we pause to recognize and celebrate this retiring agent's dedication, valor, and sacrifice." The President continued to address the attendees in the room, giving you a quick nod before returning his focus to everyone in the entrance hall.

The President outstretched his hand towards Leon standing in the crowd, now staring at him with a prideful yet relaxed look. "To Mr. Leon S. Kennedy, our retiring agent and loyal friend, thank you for your 19 years of dedicated service to our nation. May your retirement be filled with the peace and contentment that you so richly deserve. You leave behind a legacy of honor and courage that will never be forgotten." The crowd of attendees clapped and cheered briefly, causing Leon to reach his hand up to wipe across his face. A poor way to hide his red face. He's done that before, hasn't he?

Once the crowd quieted back down, the President finished his speech with a classic, "May God bless you, your family, and may God continue to bless the United States of America. Thank you" before the crowd picked back up cheering and clapping. You clapped along with them, laughing at Leon's flustered expression. He could barely hold back his smile, not really have expecting to be so well recognized for his service.

Leon's queue to make his way to the front was when the President walked over to stand next to you, making sure not to block the covered portrait from anyone's view. He'd recited this speech to you countless times, even more to himself when he was alone, but all those eyes staring at him were causing him to fumble. He messed around with the mic once he was standing in front of it, and that was your queue to walk over and stand next to him, placing a loving hand on his forearm.

That's all he needed, just a little extra encouragement from the person he relied on the most. His speech was short and straight to the point, never having been a man of professional word, yet he still managed to slip in some words of praise for you and all the help you provided him during his rough patch earlier in the year.

Neither you or Leon had outright said it to each other, let alone to anyone else, but hearing him announce to the entire hall of people that you were his girlfriend made your heart soar. Speaking about you calmed his nerves, and he wanted everyone to know just how lucky he felt, like he'd hoped for earlier.

He bent over slightly to whisper in your ear, covering the mic with his hand to make sure it didn't pick up his voice. "Now, why don't you go ahead and show us all that masterpiece you spent months working on?" Oh, now you were the flustered one, giggling nervously as you gave his arm a gentle squeeze before walking over to where the painting sat on the easel.

"Ladies and gentleman," Leon's eyes followed you as he straightened his posture out, speaking into the mic once more with a wide smile gracing his features, "I'm honored to have the wonderful artist herself present my very own portrait to you." As he spoke, you carefully lifted the cloth from where it was draped over the painting, finally revealing the ever-awaited portrait to everyone.

Just like with Chris and Claire's, Leon was sat in that soft maroon chair, slightly off center, but his position was different with his right ankle rested atop his left knee, elbows on the arms of the chair while his hands rested in his lap, fingers interlaced. His smile was soft and partially crooked while he looked forward with relaxed eyes, a few strands of hair painted to sit in front of his brow. And to tie it all together, it had a lovely green background, a dark forest green as the base while a sage green was used to add texture. The vintage look had always been your favorite, and Leon fit it so perfectly. He was nearly timeless.

Many "ooo's" and "ahh's" were heard amongst the clapping from the crowd, along with a handshake from the President. Before you could turn to face Leon, you felt his arms slowly slink around you from underneath your arms, the weight of his head now pressing down on your shoulder. You could feel his grin when he tilted his head to kiss your jawline, beginning to gently rock you side to side. Getting to show off your work was always so rewarding, but just knowing Leon was handling everything so well was a feeling you'll truly never forget.

He was happy. That's all you ever wanted for him. The man has truly earned his portrait in that agent hall of fame.

The portrait was soon brought down to the aforementioned hall to be hung up and displayed for good, a few small groups trailing down to get a better look at it. Chris was the noisiest about it, telling Leon it looked like it belonged above a grand fireplace, to which said man agreed with.

Chris, Claire, Jill, and their respective families stared at it for quite some time alongside Leon and you. They all chatted while Leon stared quietly, taking in every little fine detail you'd added. You changed his position some, and did he really smile at you like that? He really did look lovestruck. Of course only he could tell that. Hopefully.

He surprised himself with how okay he felt after seeing the painting. You warned him multiple times that it would most likely be overwhelming and emotional, and while it was, it wasn't in a bad way. The most compelling thought he had right now was to just sweep you off your feet and smother you with love.

Leon asked one of the guards to take a picture of him with everyone, including you, in front of his portrait. Then, just a picture of you and him standing in front of it, easily becoming the background on his phone.

The party went on for only an hour or so more before people started to trickle out. You and Leon were some of the first to leave, saying all your thanks and goodbye's with hugs and handshakes.

The moment the two of you walked into your apartment he practically pounced on you before the door had shut, large hands gripping tight on your hips as he sloppily made out with you. He just had to show his gratitude for all your hard work.

Your lips tasted so sweet and your soft little moans were driving him wild, he couldn't help the groan that rumbled from his chest. Full blown sex had been held off by you, not wanting to rush him into anything while you helped him manage his problems. Honestly, he was glad you'd held off on him, because now that he was feeling like his own person again, it made waiting all the more fulfilling.

Leon hoisted you up into his arms after you'd kicked your heels off, holding onto the back of your thighs as he carried you to the bedroom. You wrapped your arms around his neck, giggling against his lips as he carefully navigated around the short hallway and into the bedroom.

You looked so good splayed out on the bed for him, that beautiful dress you chose was insanely flattering on you. It had to go though, so after yanking off his jacket he made quick work of your dress, fumbling with the zipper for a moment before pulling it up and over your head. Your bra and panties didn't last either. He'd only gotten to see you naked a couple times before, but god, he'll never get tired of seeing you this way, acting all shy like you weren't his favorite view.

Leon was so eager to get his hands on you that he neglected to take off his suit, opting instead to hover over you and bury his face into your neck. He wasn't a good artist, but he loved to cover your neck in shades of red and purple like you were his own little painting, akin to leaving his signature all over you.

He only pulled away once you tugged on his hair, listening to your begs and pleas for him to get his clothes off. As much as he wanted to prolong this night and tease you, he couldn't hold himself back. He needed to feel your soft skin against his.

"So perfect." Leon mumbled against your skin, licking and kissing his way up your stomach and to your breasts after practically ripping off his clothes. His hands found their way back to your hips, pressing them firm against the bed to keep you from squirming away as he nipped at one of your nipples, pulling it into his mouth.

He moaned as he sucked and circled his tongue around your nipple, his eyes falling closed. The other couldn't stay neglected, so he brought one hand up to pinch and tug at your other nipple, sighing when he felt your body press against his as you arched at the sensation. He loved when your moans would pitch, so cute.

His cock was pressed against the inside of your thigh, rutting against it when you would tug at his hair. Once he decided your nipples had enough attention, he sat up and grabbed the backs of your knees to place around his waist. The new position offered Leon the perfect opportunity to drag his leaking cock through your folds, pressing it down with his thumb so the tip would nudge your clit with every slow thrust forward.

You were so wet, so delicate. He could've fucked you right then, slid right into that juicy little pussy, but he needed to take care of you first. He would never forgive himself if he hurt you.

Reluctantly, the man pulled his dick away from you, letting out a poorly concealed whine at the loss. He ran his hands up your thighs before moving one hand so he could circle your clit with his thumb, the other hand back on your hip to keep you steady.

"L-eon~!" You brokenly moaned out, pleading to him with your watery eyes. You needed more; his fingers, his cock, anything. He couldn't say no to that, stopping his assault on your clit to drag his middle and ring finger through your drenched folds to wet them properly. He brought your right leg to sit over his shoulder, hand gripping the top of your thigh as he leaned forward, studying your face closely as he gently teased the outside of your slit with his middle finger.

He moaned with you as he slid his finger in, keeping his eyes trained on you as he started to tentatively thrust his finger in and out. "Yeah?" Leon whispered, licking his lips as you barely managed to nod. "Yeeeaah, there's my girl..." The rumble in his voice was music to your ears.

His ring finger was soon slid in next to his middle finger, switching between scissoring you and making a partial 'come here' motion with them. After only a couple minutes you were leaking all over his hand and the bed, the wet sounds of your pussy mixed with your moans making his cock jerk and drip with precum. Leon clenched his teeth as he slowly pulled his fingers from you, immediately bringing them to his mouth to suck off your juices. He let out an audible sigh after swallowing, repositioning his dick to slide through your folds a couple more times before nudging your hole with the tip.

"Look at me, baby..." Leon's hushed demand brought you to open your eyes, if only half way. He made eye contact with you before leaning forward further to kiss you, all the while finally pushing into you. He soaked in your gasp, his eyebrows furrowing as you tensed up. "Relax.. let me in~..."

"It's only me.." He panted, tilting his head to kiss the corner of your mouth as your eyes shut again. "It's only me, baby..." he repeated this a few more times as he eased his cock inside of you, the stretch only stinging for a moment before it turned to pleasure. He filled you perfectly, you could feel every bit of him, especially with his right hand adding a bit of pressure to your stomach.

Leon sat still for a minute to give you time to adjust, taking the way you moved your hips as a sign to move. He pulled out, all the way to the tip, before slowly thrusting back in. He managed to choke out a quiet "Fuck-.." when you clenched around him. "Taking me so well.. such a big girl~.."

He always knew just how to talk to you, making sure to take his time buttering you up. You were putty in his hands, and between his words and the feeling of him reaching so deep inside of you, you could barely think.

It didn't take long for him to start to lose his composure, the sound of wet skin slapping together filling the room as his thrusts intensified. "All mine. All for me." The grip he had on your thigh was sure to leave a bruise, but that was the last thing on your mind.

The hand he had pressing on your stomach moved further down so he could circle your clit with his thumb again, jaw tight as he looked from your blissed out expression to where his hand was playing with you. "Oh fuck! That's it!" Leon growled, eyes glued to your cunt as he plunged in and out of it. "Cream this dick, mamas~... Cum on my cock so I can fill this pretty pussy up.."

The way you gasped and moaned when you came was enough to warrant a noise complaint, but screw your neighbors. You needed this just as much Leon did.

"Oohhh fuck yeah.. Milk me, baby~... shit-" Leon's thrusts stuttered to a stop while pressed flush against you, abs flexing as he pumped ropes of cum into you. Once you managed to open your eyes, all you could do was stare at the man, flushed pink and sweaty, sitting between your legs. Both of you moaned in tandem as he pulled out, Leon groaning to himself as he watched his cum drip from your pussy. Truly a work of art meant for his eyes only.

He leaned over you again to plant a quick kiss on your lips, chuckling when he felt you smile. "Let me go grab something to clean you up, okay?" You could only nod in response, reaching your hand up to caress the side of his face before he stood up from the bed. He walked across the hall into the bathroom, wetting a soft rag with warm water before making his way back over to you.

Leon made sure to be gentle when cleaning you, the warmth from the rag soothing your tender skin. You were able to sit up on your elbows and watch him, using his gentle touches as a way to calm your still racing heart.

After wiping himself off with the rag, he tossed it over in the general direction of your laundry basket. It was a problem for later. Right now, he wanted lay back on the bed and pull you up so you could lay on top of him. Along with just how nice it felt to hold you, he loved the weight of you on him. So that's what he did, pulling you onto him after laying on the bed, running his fingers though your hair on the back of your head.

"Leon." You muttered against his collarbone. His eyebrows raised, yet his eyes were closed. "Mm?" His right eye peaked open when he felt you giggle. "What?"

"I love you." His fingers paused their ministrations at your words. You lifted your head up to look at him, growing worried with his shocked expression. "Sorry, is that too-" you choked on your words, stopped mid-sentence by Leon's arms suddenly squeezing the breath out of you with a very tight hug. He pulled you up just a little further so he could smush his lips against yours.

"I love you too!" He breathed out excitedly. "You don't know how long I've been waiting to tell you!" You tapped his arm and he immediately relaxed his grip, mumbling a small, "Sorry, my bad.." when you took in a deep breath.

"You're adorable, Leon." You shook your head with a smile, brushing the hair from his face to give him a much gentler kiss before settling you head back against his chest with a quiet sigh.

Leon was still a tough man, but you made him soft. Only ever soft for you.

Side note: I totally forgot to add in the pussy eating i am so sorry. i thought i did but it was literally just a thought that never manifested 😭

tags!: @greywardensaywhat @xkittiecatx @httpsuguru @httpsuguru @k-fallingstar @lysa1201 @bobastayhigh @pocketstoriesstore @agent-dessis-posts @klee-iii @missjoenowhere @mi-zer-y @bigtiddiesimp @finsternisle @sweets3rial @sodacolablast (there's a few of you that tumblr wouldn't let me tag for some reason)

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spop-romanticizes-abuse · 8 months ago

Text

Midsommar vs SPOP: Cults and Religious Trauma

i watched Midsommar recently and was struck by how subtle and nuanced the Hårga were, in comparison to the Intergalactic Horde. of course, i don’t expect SPOP to show the kind of brutal gore that Midsommar did, but what i’m talking about is the way these cults indoctrinated members.

Horde Prime just mind controlled everyone to follow his orders and praise him, and it just felt so immature, especially compared to the way SPOP handled some of the other deeper topics. you’re telling me they wrote an actually good manipulator in the form of Shadow Weaver, but couldn’t do the same for Horde Prime? cult leaders are supposed to be manipulative. they don’t just force you to join their cults because it’s so much easier to break out of it. no, what they do is they convince you that this is for your own good. they promise you support, community, happiness, peace. they especially target emotionally vulnerable individuals, because they are a lot likely to accept help from a large community who is seemingly just looking out for them and trying to help them out.

and this is what happens in Midsommar. Dani recently lost her entire family to a murder-suicide, and her boyfriend had fallen out of love with her at this point and he often manipulates and guilt-trips her whenever she points out his mistakes. she was overall extremely lonely and depressed, trying hard to repress her emotions for everyone else’s sake. this is the kind of person the Hårga were looking for. a lot of the audience didn’t even realize that Dani was being indoctrinated into a cult or that joining said cult was going to be very unhealthy for her. that’s how convincing the Hårga were.

Pelle especially seems like the warm, comforting figure that Dani needed, letting her open up about her feelings and listening to her, in contrast to Christian, Dani’s boyfriend, who was often preoccupied with other things, and didn’t even bother to remember Dani’s birthday. you almost root for Pelle and Dani to end up together, until you realize that he is also part of the cult and all of his empathy and compassion is just a clever way to manipulate Dani into trusting the Hårga.

the scariest thing about the Hårga is that they weren’t large, imposing figures with a god complex. they didn’t have a leader who ruled them with an iron fist. they were just a seemingly normal community with seemingly normal people who had fun rituals and celebrations, and seemingly supported and cared for one another. even after seeing two people die brutally, Dani was still manipulated into joining the Hårga because they took advantage of her trauma and her loneliness. she desperately needed actual support and a shoulder to lean on, something her boyfriend didn’t provide. so when the Hårga offered her that support, it was easy for her to believe that this community was exactly what she needed.

and i think SPOP could have pulled something like this off, especially with Catra. if they really wanted us to believe that Catra felt guilty about her actions, they could have gone a more interesting route. i mentioned this in a previous post but instead of Horde Prime chipping Catra, they could have shown him manipulate her and promise her that she can be absolved of all her sins if she joined him. instead of being all like “teehee i know you have a crush on adora, you gay kitty”, they could have shown him feed on her insecurities and loneliness, and promise her a happier future of she joined him, playing on her need for validation and affection.

and in a moment of desperation, Catra believes him. she has lost everyone at this point, so she accepts what little comfort is offered to her. and then it’s the writers’ choice whether to redeem Catra by having her come to the realization that worshipping a genocidal tyrant with a god complex is actually not going to help her become a better person, and that she was just repressing her guilt and convincing herself that this is the best option; or to have her stay and face a tragic ending of sorts. either way, i think it would have been better than what we got.

i know that Nate apparently struggled with religious trauma and guilt (according to a few posts i saw, at least) and i’m not trying to say that i know his experience better than he does. i just think the execution with Horde Prime was really off, and he was almost like a funny caricature of a cult leader, rather than a representation of an actual cult leader.

#tw cult #tw religious guilt #tw religious trauma #tw manipulation #spop critical #spop salt #spop #spop discourse #spop criticism #she ra #anti spop #horde prime #catra #spop analysis #midsommar

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neverpathia · 28 days ago

Note

*drop these and runs away*

2. (Explore) If you have a least favorite Chapter, then how would you go about changing it?

12. (Explore) What's your favorite Voices dynamic?

25. (Explore) What’s a moment in the game that emotionally destroyed you?

nevvey has a PhD in yappanese so this came out too long, oops

2. least favourite chapter

huh. well I know everyone's been answering the greys for this, and I don't wanna be another member of that echo chamber, but honestly I'm kinda struggling to think of my least favourite right about now. the ones that are great are great, and the ones that aren't as great. uh. they're more or less on the same tier if I'm gonna be frank

fine. I'll cave. it's drowned grey. haven't seen her route yet but in all fairness I don't feel like it, not too interested, already know what happens, and am scared of being scared. with burned grey, at least I can respect the themes at play. the extremes of blind devotion playing into callousness. the crossing of boundaries that one has claimed to demolish. violence to fix violence met with violence. hurt intended to cure hurt.

there's at least more of an emotional reaction there, but with prisoner? you're less obligated to feel something for her, I guess. I'm not saying you're not a fucking traitorous scumbag if you slay pris, but I'm just saying that she provokes less pity and sadness than slaying the damsel. drowned grey to me comes off as pure spook factor imo. it's a tale of vengeance, that's it. there isn't as much to explore there.

drowned grey works as a route but it's not as complex as I would like it to be. and that's fine for the game. it works. but it's just kind of there. I wouldn't know how to fix it because the course of events still makes sense, but it's just. underwhelming. I wouldn't do anything about it but only because I have no idea how.

12. favourite voice dynamic

OH COME ON. YOU FUCKING EXPECT ME TO CHOOSE?????

so it keeps teetering between parahero and smittunist but in the end I've just been writing those things out in my head and the majority of how i perceive it is all fanon. it doesn't matter. nix. nada. nothing.

if we're going to talk about in the actual canon...probably still smittunist. it's hilarious how they interact in thorn. oppy being the same bootlicker as always, and smitten just mindlessly swinging behind GASP HOW DARE YOU and OH YOU ARE SO RIGHT FOR REAL, is just kind of golden. but at the same time it's sweet how smitten makes up for oppy's faults here. and at the same time as much as they contrast and you can still tell that oppy hasn't really changed too much but there's still something there and it's still so unresolved but they still manage to put aside their differences and stuff- plus. funny dialogue. it's gold. it's just gold

but at the same time I recently did den, and I think hunted and skeptic's a bit of an underrated dynamic. there's an inherent trust that's obviously there between most of the voices already, but it's especially highlighted with skeptic's plan and stuff. i can kinda hear them as a grizzled old man and the scruffy little creature he picked up on the side of the road and decided to adopt. he taught him that plans matter, yay. he saw him make his first friend (den in rescue), yay. it's adorable.

but then we also have hero and paranoid giving broken a reality check in apotheosis and like. paranoid losing his mind. broken having lost his mind in the other direction. a confused hero being the only sane man. them powering through together as a team anyway. the two gay uncles and the depressed nephew they got stuck with babysitting. I can't-

[rams my fist straight into the wall and splinters all of my phalanges and releases an uncouth yelp worthy of a soprano] I CANNOT. DON'T ASK ME TO CHOOSE.

25. worst trauma

look. all the pristine cut stuff so far was absolutely devastating, and I am specifically laser-focusing on Happily Ever After with that comment.

but the moment that fucking punched me in the gut and had me doubling over was probably, thorn. yeah because she's my wife and we're married and I can't bear to see her hurt and she's reading this over my shoulder right now and she's beautiful and she's resplendent and

specifically, when you descend down the charred remains of the cabin. you hear just how resigned she is. just how tired everything has made her. and you just look, and see how badly she's been wounded. how she's been hurt. all these raw bleeding cuts and scrapes and scratches and scabs. it's so clear how vulnerable she is, and she's truly ashamed. this is what she's done. this is who she is now. this is what she believes she deserves.

and then all the dialogue options that show how much you don't want to forgive her. just as she wasn't able to forgive herself, as much as she's punished herself instead. like. like MY POOR FUCKING GIRL.

and another one for when her grip on the blade tightens... the lingering spite. the remnants of fear. the urge to distrust. she's leaving behind everything she thought she was and it's utterly ASSRRRGGGHH love you thorn.

#slay the princess #stp #stp ask

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greml1nb0i · 2 months ago

Text

Hazbin Hotel Rewrite [WIP- this is copy and pasted from my docs; this is old but i wanted to share it anyway]

Rewrite the Characters:

Original +opinions (ooo~ Spicy) :

Charlie - Princess of Hell, Daughter of Lucifer. Sheltered and Cheery.

I hate that she’s just Disney Princess coded. They could have used the whole sheltered route well but TBF we don't see that either. We see a weird rendition of that where everyone forgives her for her terrible actions but yet other characters like Husk and Angel Dust are somehow held to a higher sense of accountability for their actions?!

I also don’t believe whoever raised Charlie could keep her away from the ever growing and changing landscape of Hell. Like if you're going to be a Princess of anything its really important for the next heir to be well acquainted with their kingdom's landscape and history. At the very least talk to the locals and commonwealth.

Her design is...ok. It didn't change much from the pilot but tbh i liked her Pilot design, I feel like it makes sense for her to wear hints of red and white, but i wish they added more than just red, i feel like black or gold would have been better or even purple for Biblical accuracy of Pride.

Vaggie - Girlfriend to Charlie and protector of the Hotel, ex-Exorcist.

Why did they change the lore? Also why does it feel like the VA hated being there or was just given 0 directions. She sounds dull and plain except for when she’s sounding like she’s angry, which is 99.98% Of Vaggie’s emotions.

That, an amnesia apparently?! How does vaggie not remember the very weapon that cut out her FUCKING EYE that still makes no sense, like how tf her and Lucifer and even Husk have wings, if wings are going to be used for ANY character why make them seem important to Vaggie when Husk literally has wings, and Lucifer the supposed “fallen Angel” STILL HAS HIS?! Like why? How does this make sense?

Angel - FemBoy, Sex worker. Deals in Self destruction, self loathing and deep depression while also being flirty and promiscuous. Was in a Mafia family. 1940s timeline.

Trauma porn character and just a bunch of gay men stereotypes. As a survivor, his story doesn't hit the way its meant to. There's a good and bad way to show SA and Abuse and while they did it “eh” (im saying this loosely) at first, they were completely unrealistic and downright infantilizing at the end.

There's no way someone who just went through a beating, an having to almost get drugged and dragged out of bar, is going to forgive the same person who started the stupor in the first place- ESPECIALLY ON THE SAME NIGHT!!!!!

I FUCKING CANT WITH THESE WRITERS THINKING MENTAL HEALTH CAN BE SOLVED IN A 20 MIN EPSIODE, IS THIS A KIDS SHOW ABOUT FRIENDSHIP OR AN ADULT SHOW ABOUT CARTOON DEMONS IN HELL.

And don’t get me started on that terrible musical number, it’s just soft core rape in a cheery pop tune i fucking hate it!! It doesn't help that Raph, an SA fetishist STORYBOARDED THE DAMN SCENE

WHAT THE FUCK MEDRANO!?

Husk - Angry grump, bar keeper. Contracted to Alastor. Gambler. From the 1970 or 60.

The design is a character designer's worst nightmares come to life on the screen. Every furry from the early 2000s clutching their pearls in cringe. It screams “omg rawr xD uwu” era and i think we as a society are way past that, i figured a 30 something year old woman would be too.

[apparently it was her sisters OC that was put into the show, viv why?!]

Alastor - radio show host from the 30s. Cannibal. Half Creole. “Wendigo design”. Cocky and always smile but is "quite dangerous when provoked." [yea ok pal]

An OC from middle school that should have stayed in middle school. There is a reason so many OCs from artists' early childhood don't make it into their new and growing art style. Most of the time if you keep obsessing over the same OCs you stunt yourself on growing in your art. Tumblr Sexy Man is that exact thing. I like him in concept but, if he was drawn better and actually looked like a man from the 1900s and in his 40s,(or even a half creole man; that's supposedly a Wendigo) I'd have less to complain about. His concept is good and interesting, but its not the first or the last and Alastor def isn't the first. Also give that man a haircut please!

Nifty - Japanese-American. From the 50s Obsessive and a neat freak. Camera shy but psychotic.

I feel like this is just a racist stereotype waiting to be exposed. The “young psychotic Japanese girl” trope is so fucking old and repetitive that i cant vibe with a character like Nifty when i know her only purpose is to be used as comedy bait. It doesn't help that Viv didn't give Nifty almost any merch! Like WOW really showing favoritism over the merch sales and that is disgusting.

Sir Pentious - British inventor. Kinda an idiot but is a brilliant machinist.

We were robbed of a decent villain. I hate that he became part of the cast and became the first redeemed as if Angel wasn't there longer and started showing signs of Redemption sooner, like we got more Redemption scenes of Angel but like NONE of Pentious and we are supposed to believe this weird snake dude is redeemed just cuz he kissed a girl and got himself killed for nothing???? VIVZIE YOUR ASS WRITING IS ASS!!

Also he's a stolen Character...seems to be a trend for Viv..

Lucifer - King of Hell, Father of Charlie, Sin of Pride. Depressed and non-serious, deep self loathing. Complex of some sort. Short King.

He’s fine..i guess, i mean its freaking Jeremy Jordan VA-ing him…he kind fixes whatever is wrong with Lucifer character wise. [this is for very obvious reasons a joke, while re-reading this i realized some people might not know i'm being sarcastic,oopsies] He’s a terrible character for numerous reasons. He is kinda homophobic if you really think about that “i like girls too” line and then proceeds to call her “MAGGIE”; Lucifer feels like he is just there to satisfy Viv’s disney esque “daddy issues” type kink she has for “tragic characters and shitty dads” type characters.

Designs wise he trash. He looks like jeff the killer but blonde and drawn by your aunt who refused to go to art school

Cherri Bomb - Angels Friend. Arsonist. From the 60s(?). Punk rock.

Her design is literally traced and just the Addict design…the fans are just stupid. Also i dont like the fact that Viv EXPECTED viewers of her show, to have done homework on who the fuck Cherri is, cuz if you're a new watcher, and didn't read the fucking Vivziepop Bible, you wont know who tf she if or why you should even care about her.

Why is Angel hanging out with someone like this in the first place, You’d think because Angel is older and from a different time period he wouldn't vibe with Cherri?? But apparently Viv thinks a fem gay man from the 30s would be the best homie to a 20 yr old punk rock Aussie from the 60s, a whole 3 decades of time difference!! Tell us why and how they know each other!! How can these fundamentally very different people even vibe together!! Is it just cus "wow shared trauma of abusive lovers" cuz wow Viv.

(her entire design is also stolen soooooo~)

Mimzy - who?

This one also feels really fucking racist. Idk what it is with Viv but the jewish stereotypes of Mimzie are absolutely atrocious.

Fix:

Charlie - [TBD]

Vaggie - [TBD]

Angel - [TBD]

Husk - [TBD]

Alastor - [TBD]

Nifty - [TBD]

Sir Pentious - [TDB]

Lucifer -

Was an Angel with dreams, and took part in the Creation of All Things.

However Lucifer was too ambitious and went off course with the designs of Earth’s creatures, causing the other Angels to feel uncomfortable by him and his new creations.

While the Angels were tolerating him, he was allowed to visit the First Human, but in doing so felt that their lack of knowledge was unfair and so in hopes of helping the other Angels see things his way, he gave the Apple of Knowledge to Adam and Lilith.

This didn't go as planned though, Where Lilith became kinder and more empathetic, Adam however became more uptight, and acted as if he was better than Lilith.

Lucifer defended Lilith against Adam thus causing the Angels attention to be drawn. Seeing what Lucifer had done; Ultimately bringing evil (free will) into the world, They (strangely) cast Lucifer AND Lilith, as well as the creatures Lucifer had created to the dark void;

The Angels now would call it, Hell. Lucifer, home.

Lucifer would first land in Hell confused and depressed, Along with Lilith they both begin to freak out as they look into the dark, empty landscape in front of them. Feelings of bitterness begin to reside within Lucifer, that settled into a resilient sense of ignorant Pride.

Lucifer’s Creations -

The demons and most of the Hellborns. Lucifer is treated as the Divine Judge of Hell, His punishment is having to witness all the evil that had been created due to him and He in turn must turn what could never be, into another one of his creations. Though he is given it a process. He has given up on making anymore Hellborns due to them fixing that themselves. Demons that are specifically Dead Humans (The Sinners).

Sins -

All of the Sins were once creatures created by Lucifer that began to Form into The 7 Deadly Sins. However the rest of these creatures evolved into lower ranks and a hierarchy was formed. With the Sins and Lucifer being at the top.

The 7 are special creatures that Lucifer held a special fondness to in particular. More so than some of the other Creations. Each of these Sins were given a mission after the fall and were subsequently turned into the Sins by the Angels, who felt they deserved the same punishment, if not worse, as Lucifer. Forcing each of the Sins to work as their prince/princess of their specific ring unless they want their entire existence to cease. They rather that not happen.

The angels cursed all the sins, and Lucifer himself. that if they ever stop their torment they will cease to exist. Angels thought this was humane but didn't realize or rather didn't care that much at the time how barbaric it actually is.

Dubbed the Curse of the Angels or Angels Kiss

(play on Kiss of Death where whomever Death kissed is marked for death,

here the Sins were “kissed” by the Angels and a “kiss” was once used to symbolize a curse or bad omen onto another)

their "death" however is more than they evaporate into nothing

its their very minds and bodies slowly begin to deteriorate painfully to the point of being empty husks. No expression, No emotions, No sense of self. Nothing. Their consciousness and personality essentially gets erased entirely.

Premise IDEAS for Rewrite:

Sinners go through character arc delving into their issues that lead to each one's Redemption

Heaven gets upset over the rise of redemption in Sinner

Earthly Denizens of Heaven/ “winners” attack the Hotel

The Sinners and the Staff defend the Hotel

Heaven’s attackers are turned fallen.

{END}

so i started this almost a year ago, it was right when i really started to dislike Viv and Helluva Flop Boss. If you wanna give a suggestion on what you think could make this better go for it. It's a WIP- so any advice is welcome and appreciated!!

#this is an old draft #hazbin critical #anti hazbin hotel #vivziepop critical #anti vivziepop #im still working on it

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bpdbeehive · 5 months ago

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I recently watched the game because I had to see if it was as bad as everyone says and it actually isn't? Yes, these two are fucking weird and uncomfortable to watch be touchy feely and I don't support that and if you ship incest block me.

But I really want to dive into their psyche, Ashley is so fucking BPD coded (I have BPD) and Andrew is UNFORTUNATELY her FP, she's so jealous of anyone who tries to get close because he's always been all she's had, she says she should kill herself when upset with him, she is terrifed of him not liking her and accuses him of it irrationally multiple times and her mood swings are drastic to the point anger goes to tears to happy in minutes.

And Andrew could have possible DID (I have DID) that Ashley finally noticed at the end of one route where she's hoping for the one that's more anxious yet loving, the other is unfeeling and cold and doesn't put up with her shit. On the other hand, it could just be symbolic of how his innocence died the second he was partly responsible for taking a life and he has to completely shut off to deal with the trauma that happens later on. He's definitely depressed too with his uncaring nature with some PTSD as shown with his repressed memories.

The reason for their codependency and unhealthy relationship blurring the lines between family love and romantic love is their parent's fault, Ashley was excluded by everyone but Andy, and Andy was expected to raise her himself as a child, they shared a room their entire lives, and they were abandoned, they've always been all each other have and Ashley belittles him into thinking she's the only one who really loves him as a coping mechanism for her fear of abandonment. These parents saw a child with physiological issues that make empathy hard and gave her up to a kid to fix, they feel like no one cares but each other.

Incest is disgusting though, I'm just saying they're fascinating to me and every single time I mention them I'm going to clarify there's more to this game and I don't associate with that side of the fandom

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yanderepuck · 2 years ago

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Ikevamp au where everything is the same except the suitor falls in love with you, but you hate them.

Imagine. An otome game, but you constantly turn down the guy.

Napoleons route: what makes you think I want to be your body guard?

You: what makes you think I want to be near a panty sniffer?

Napoleons route later: wait... I think I'm in love with her

You: why won't he leave me alone.

Wait why is this actually hilarious

Mozart's route: no one likes you and no one wants you here.

You: what makes you think I want to spend my time with a man who meowed at people?

Mozart's route later: so I actually really like your company

You: I've never enjoyed being around you for a moment after you called me a nuisance.

How would you expect me to fall in love with either of these two after they both tell me they want nothing to do with me. Please explain

Leonardo's route: I'm going to drag you around the city and have you help me with things

You: please just let me be depressed in the mansion

Leonardo's route later: I've really been enjoying our time together

You: please just let me be depressed in the mansion.

Just let her do her thing. She wants to go back home with no strings attached. Make sure she doesn't try to kill herself but please don't drag her along against her will.

Arthur's route: you're a pretty little thing

You: touch me and I will scream and bite you myself. Never speak to me. Don't even perceive me.

Arthur's route later: so it all started when I was a wee lad

You: didn't I tell you to stop acknowledging me? I'm not interested in your trauma. I didn't even know who wrote Sherlock until I got here

Let be real. Most of us didn't actually know. We knew Sherlock didn't write Sherlock but we didn't know it was some crazy fairy man.

Vincent's route: you're really sweet and I think we should be friends

You: yes. Friends is nice. You seem very nice

Vincent's route later: so..I..um...I want to be more than friends.

You: learn how to have a negative emotion and stop acting like being sad is a bad thing.

The boy is honestly toxic. He's going to invalidate your negative emotions I feel it.

Theo's route: hondje! You saw my scar and so now you're going to work for me!

You: shouldn't I be the one trying to blackmail you??

Theo's route later: you're actually a really good worker and have a good eye for art. I like you hondje

You: so you like capitalism? Am I even getting paid? I didn't travel through a door just to run around the city and sell art work

I'll never understand how it makes sense that Theo thinks he can make her do things bc he assumes she noticed some random ass scar. WHAT'S WRONG WITH EVERYTHING LEARNING YOU GOT SHOT. YOU DIDN'T COME FROM THE FUTURE. THEY CAN TECHNICALLY LOOK UP HOW YOU DIED.

Why did I have a hard time coming up with one for Isaac. Ik that boy is problematic but why am I having issues

Isaac's route: HOW DONT YOU KNOW ABOUT *insert very complicated scientific theory*

You: I went to public school my dude. Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

Isaac's route later: she's very kind and patient. Is this what love feels like??

You: IF HE COULD SHUT UP ABOUT HIS WORK FOR 5 SECONDS THAT WOULD BE GREAT

I know once I post this I'll think of a better one for Isaac. But oh well. Boy needs to let you talk about your day.

Dazai's route: you're so cute. I'm going to adopt you as my little sister

You: you're a little weird... But I guess this is okay

Dazai's route later: so I really like you, but I need to push you away and act like I don't care because it's what's best

You: I have been here for two weeks and you've tried to kill yourself 4 times. How did you think I could mentally handle that let alone want to date you, PLUS YOU KEEP CALLING ME YOUR LITTLE SISTER

He sibling zones you up until the very end. What kind of Alabama kink do you got going on, Dazai

Jean's route: I'm not sorry that I bit you. Don't talk to me, I don't want friends. No one understands me anyway.

You: if Comte doesn't beat your ass for biting me then I'll do it myself.

Jean's route later: I think I'm learning what love is. She's helped me with so much and I want to repay her

You: he bit me and never apologized or got in trouble. Why the hell would I ever be interested in him. He's treating life like a SURVIVAL GAME

I have many complaints about Jean. But my main one is the biting and him never getting in trouble for it bc he's the favorite child.

Will's route: you found and read my note book and now I have to keep an eye on you so you don't tell anyone that I'm using this information against them to possibly get them killed!

You: sooo...you aren't writing all of this because you have bad social skills and are just trying to better understand everyone because they are all from a vastly different time period than you? Thanks for telling me your plan.

Will's route later: so I've realized the error of my ways and I'm not going to do the deed any more and I hope you can forgive me

You: LET ME OUT OF THIS DAMN VILLA

Will became a little too obsessed. Oops

Comte's route: it is my fault that you are here, so I will protect you and take care of all your needs while you are here. You'll be the daughter I never had

You: thanks! I'll work around the mansion to pass the time and get to know everyone better

Comte's route later: I know I have pushed you away multiple times but I really love you and I want to spend centuries with you

You: I have seen how bad of a parent you are and I've picked up your dirty clothes off the floor I don't think this is going to work

Comte just keeps daughter zoning you and then is like "so I love you" IS THIS WHERE DAZAI GETS IT FROM.

Sebastian's route: every time you do something wrong I'm going to flick your forehead

You: do that one more time and I swear to God I'm slapping that grin off your face

Sebastian's route later: being with you is making me miss home and consider going back to our time. I would love to go back with you and spend our lives together back in Japan

You: there's so many reasons why this wouldn't work out and staying at the top: YOU TOOK SOME RANDOM PILLS SOME PRIEST GAVE YOU. Not to mention you didn't tell ANYONE you were dying

If you're gonna fall in love with me at least tell me you're going to die in a few months.

Also not going to do the trio in this moment. Oops sorry

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp theo #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp Isaac #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp jean #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp comte #ikevamp sebastian

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humornaut · 6 months ago

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hi!! i’m a relatively new omori fan (a brainrotted fan, however, with 140 hours in the game so far… and 98% completion bc i lost to the recyclepath.. -_-) anyway, i love your analysis posts, you’ve clearly studied the details of this game very well!!

i was hoping to ask about the timeline of white space and headspace creation, if you have the time and would like to! my roommate and i played together and have tried to piece it together a few times over the four playthroughs we’ve done (two of each route), but there are still some details that seem contradictory to me. i’m sorry if this is obvious though!

so the transcript of the truth album says “you sink into a crevice in your mind… an empty white room” so i initially assumed white space was created on the day of the incident, in that dissociative state while mari was in the bed. you also see this in the sequence after three days left before going back into headspace where it’s sunny and basil in front of the door, then sunny in white space, then the manifestation of omori. of course, we’ve also been told “you’ve been living here for as long as you can remember”, but we can assume the “you” is omori instead of sunny, which makes sense if he was created in white space

however. in the lost library we see that sunny used to explore headspace during school, presumably before the incident, and daddy longlegs says “in the beginning, there only existed two... the dreamer and his room” and then “the dreamer grew weary of his room and created a door that led to many different worlds”, referring to white space and headspace, so white space existed first. so white space existed before the incident.

so then the white space reference from the truth album is maybe about the manifestation of omori, instead of the creation of white space. i think the outfit sunny’s wearing in the omori cut scene is also the same as from the day of the incident (the black tshirt & shorts). so presumably (before the incident), sunny used to explore headspace as sunny instead of as omori.

daddy longlegs then goes on to talk about black space, and how omori was created to let sunny “ascend to a blissful state of ignorance” and “forget himself” (this also prompts an interesting question of how sentient omori is — because he’s the protector (& knows enough to be willing to kill basil) but he’s also “ignorant of his own fabrication”, according to daddy longlegs, but i guess that’s another matter entirely!) black space was created in response to trauma, so that again supports the idea that omori was manifested after the incident.

so then white space. a place to survive but not to live. the black lightbulb is the repression of an idea, ie, the lightbulb was created after the incident. but sure, white space can exist without the lightbulb. my question then is, why did sunny need a place to survive before then? we could say that dissociation has always been his go-to reaction in stressful situations, and that’s why. but he was also in white space long enough to get bored of it, enough to conjure headspace.

we have a few vague clues that sunny & mari’s home life could have been bad, but nothing concrete. and personally, i’m of the opinion that his life being more or less ideal to begin with enhances the tragedy of the story (as well as him and basil having opposite tragedies, as i saw someone else point out — sunny’s being that he was already very much loved & cared for, so it’s worse when it’s taken away, basil’s that he never had that in the first place), but i guess that’s up to interpretation. other than home life issues then, just the stress of the violin? general developmental issues? depression? something else?

i’d be super curious to hear what you think (again, if you have the time)… thank you! :)

Hi there! Sorry about how long this took me, I've had a lot going on + I actually wrote a whole long response that took me like a week of on and off working, and then I accidentally shut off my computer and lost the whole thing :(

I want to start this off with a couple disclaimers: Omori intentionally keeps its timeline close to its chest (presumably to add to the game's feelings of unease and the mystery of it all) AND we see evidence throughout the game that during Omori's long development cycle, it saw multiple changes to its story that ultimately makes the game's timeline a little inconsistent in a way that doesn't really matter.

I think I don't really have to explain the first point to you, but it will be relevant when talking about Headspace, because the game doesn't even commit to Headspace being purely a dream, as there are plenty of indications throughout it that it could be something a bit more supernatural.

However, I do want to elaborate on my second point there, mostly because this is something that I've wanted to talk about for awhile, and what better time to bring it up than when we are talking about the timeline! So:

How Old is Hero Omori?

I swear this is an actually interesting question

It might seem silly to ask this, considering the game actually tells us how old he is in Headspace, but stick with me.

Based on this line, Hero (and presumably Mari) are 15 pre-canon, while the rest of the group turns 12 during the year of the album (except Kel, who would've turned 12 prior to Basil getting the album).

So let's take the time skip into account. When we first meet real world Aubrey, she says this:

After this point, the game tends to stick to the time skip being four years whenever it comes up. But this isn't technically true! Even accounting for the months after the incident that Sunny continued going outside for, the incident happened in October, while Sunny comes out again during the summer. Most likely, we're actually looking at around 3 and a half years, with Sunny coming back outside the summer that he would turn 16. Since we are presumably at the beginning of the summer, with Hero just now coming home from college, Sunny would actually be 15, at least during the main portion of the game, though once he's in the hospital, it appears some time has passed so that school has now started back up.

Why does this matter? Well, based on this timeline with Hero being 15 in the photo album, he should have turned 19 the January prior to the game's main events, and this is what most people see as canon. However, within the United States, most people, unless they graduate early or late, will leave High School the year they turn 18, meaning most people turn 19 during their first year at college (if they attend).

At first glance, this doesn't seem to be an issue, but we know for a fact that Hero has actually been away at college for two years, due to this interaction:

This is the second summer that Hero has returned from college! He should be 20! Now Hero is a bit of an overachiever, so it is possible that what is actually happening here is that he graduated early, but I doubt that due to what we know about how Hero reacted to Mari's death.

For that first year, even if Hero was technically going to school, he certainly wasn't excelling at it. By the time he gets to the state we see him in-game, he has maybe a year to a year and a half left of schooling. I'm really not sure that I can buy Hero graduating early, regardless of how well he does from that point on.

I also want to acknowledge that the game could simply take place ~4 1/2 years, rather than 3 1/2. There's no reason not to go with this, other than it would mean that the younger four are actually 17 during the game. You are free to believe this instead, but I am going to go into what I actually think is going here next.

We know that the characters got younger during development. We actually have an older version of the photo album, in which instead of saying that Sunny was turning 12, it says 13. Why did this happen?

Let's take a look at Aubrey's recollection of what happened following Mari's death:

For reference, this is part of what she says at the tree stump during One Day Left.

Her words here imply that she wasn't actually aware about how bad it was for Hero, and most of the fandom typically just leaves it at that.

But that's weird, right? Look at what she says. It seems like she did HAVE a reason for why Hero wasn't available, it was just incorrect. And what's more, this is definitely how Hero would've been after his year of very much not studying. There's no reason that Aubrey would believe that Hero reacted to Mari's death in this way unless it was true, especially since it is something that would later be true.

I also want to point out that Kel's talk in the cemetery in which he tells us how Hero reacted to Mari's death is entirely optional and disconnected from the actual main story cutscenes in the real world.

To bring this full circle, I also want to point out a mechanic that was added to the game VERY late in development:

You might see where I'm going with this.

Here's my theory. Originally, Hero would not have reacted to Mari's death with staying in bed for a year in a depressed state. Instead, he would've immediately become lost in his studies as a coping mechanism. However, when the team had the idea for the emotions chart, they likely realized that while happy and angry fit Kel and Aubrey's coping methods respectively quite well, Hero did not seem to fit sadness all that well at all.

In order to make Hero fit sadness, they change his story so that he stayed in a depressed state for a year, but they don't remove his original story of getting lost in his schoolwork. After all, they already had the writing and art assets finished and the game had already been in development for a long time. So instead of doing any major rewrites of the actual script, they simply add a single cutscene in the graveyard that doesn't seem to contradict anything that lets us know that this is how Hero reacted!

Then they had another problem. If Hero spent a year not caring about school, how would he have graduated on time? It would've been difficult even for an overachiever to do two years of schooling in one year. This is an easy fix as well! All you have to do is go through the very few instances of characters' ages being mentioned, and make everyone a year younger! It would've been a lot easier for Hero to catch up and excel if he had an additional year to do so after the incident with Kel! It also gives us another instance of a character getting overwhelmed and angry and pushing someone they care about, which we see multiple times! It works really well, and I like it a lot, but I haven't been able to unsee this change being made ever since the first time I thought of it. The minor line of dialogue about the hero sandwich that reveals Hero has been in college for two years would have been overlooked, since it doesn't mention his age, and likely would've been forgotten due to its unimportance. Aubrey's line, while wrong, can also still be explained away by her simply not being in the know about how Hero really reacted to Mari's death.

I'm not saying this is definitely what happened, but this theory does explain that one tiny little inconsistency that we see in the game. Could also be nothing though idk I'm not perfect

The timeline of the creation of Headspace, White Space, and Black Space! The thing you actually asked about and care about!

It's a little difficult to actually place a lot of things here. Headspace is already so vague. We can use Daddy Longlegs' explanation as a general guide, but it's still difficult to figure out how it lines up with the between night cutscenes, as well as some of the other things.

What I can say is that Omocat has explained Sunny's dream worlds as a very real reaction to trauma that some people have. From this perspective, it would've always existed in some form.

In regards to the truth album line about sinking into the empty room, it's important to keep in mind that nothing there (unless I am super mistaken) implies that this is the first time that Sunny has been there, only that it is happening in that moment. In fact, I find the use of the term "sink" to be very interesting in this context, because very recently prior to the end of the photo album and the incident itself, Sunny had another very traumatic experience when he nearly drowned at the lake. This incident is also very important because many of the traumas that we see from Sunny in game come from this incident. He is still extremely scared of heights, spiders, and drowning by the time the game happens. I don't think it is out of the realm of possibility that White Space was initially created as a response to that, assuming that it didn't already exist for Sunny's entire life.

Next! Headspace, as I understand it, refers specifically to the dream world that Sunny created by merging a bunch of different dream worlds together in order to hide away Black Space, as told by Daddy Longlegs. What we see in the school day memory isn't Sunny exploring Headspace, rather it is just establishing that Sunny has always had a creative and wandering mind, which is why he was able to create Headspace as a coping method in the first place.

The "you've been living here for as long as you can remember" line can also mean many things! It can refer to Omori, as you said, or it could refer to Sunny always having White Space to some extent, OR (and I find this to be the most likely answer) that regardless of how long Sunny has actually had White Space, his repression of ALL his memories both the good and the bad mean that this is literally all he can remember!

All of this is to say: I don't really know. I'm really sorry about that, I've typed this up multiple times trying to come up with a satisfying timeline that I can actually point at evidence for. I believe that Sunny probably had access to White Space before the incident itself, but Headspace probably only became necessary to form out of his different dreamworlds and fantasies after the incident. He was always creative, so he always had creative dreams, but Headspace itself was almost assuredly a post-incident creation.

I apologize that this probably wasn't the answer you were looking for. There might be an answer in there somewhere, but I hope I've shown here how trying to come up with a definitive timeline for Omori can create issues.

#hope you enjoyed the nearly irrelevant theory about how old hero is though #thank you rae zipsunz for helping me come up with this hero theory in a conversation a WHILE ago #omori #omori sunny #omori analysis #omori theory #omori hero #omori aubrey #omori development #omori timeline #its been a while since ive made a long post like this lol #stay tuned for my analysis of omoris prologue and how it foreshadows the rest of the game

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arcriotwrites · 7 months ago

Text

~𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓣𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓱~

Bucky Barnes x Reader

WARNINGS: Angst and discussion of Bucky's/Reader's trauma, descriptions of death, themes of depression, swearing

Tags:

#buckybarnes #thewintersoldier #death #trauma #fanfic #xreader #tangst #revival #first post #love #mypoorbaby:( #Ijustwannahughim

Author’s Note:

This is my first post to this account! I haven’t written this type of stuff in a while so I apologize if I am a bit rusty. I love Bucky so much and wanna hug him so bad so I wrote about doing that to ease my delusions. I hope you enjoy! (Please ignore the grammar errors, it is 11:30pm when I am posting this)

Word Count: 2.1K

Your eyes can't seem to tear away from the security monitor, your gaze specifically on the silver glint you can see from the dim desk light he sits at. You lean back in your chair, letting out a deep sigh, your hand running over your face.

He shouldn't be allowed to do this. To just forget.

Your thoughts seem to drift as you feel frustration rake your body, your mind starting to cloud in anger. He was a criminal, an assassin, a killer and yet Shield just lets him run around like a commoner. Your anger seems to drift into logical thinking as it often did, your memory flipping back to all of the files you read on The Winter Soldier. After the corruption of Shield and the publication of Hydra's files due to The Black Widow during the destruction of Project Insight, you found yourself spending many late nights pouring yourself over the files on The Winter Soldier. Your colleagues didn't like to talk about him whenever you brought him up, almost treating him as if he's Bloody Mary, like saying his name would summon him. Though despite what he has done and the destruction he has caused, he always intrigued you. So much so you became his personal watcher. Security cameras and microphones were put up in his apartment before he relocated himself their permanently, making it so that his every move was watched without his knowledge.

You feel yourself drift back to reality, not knowing when you decided to get up from your desk. You find yourself walking out of the newly built Shield headquarters, turning to look at the building as you exit the doors. After the corruption, they immediately started rebuilding.

Time doesn't stop for them I guess.

The thought passes through your mind as you slide into your car, dropping your computer bag into the bag seat with a soft thud. You let out a deep sigh as you sit there, debating whether you were really going to do this or not. As you turn the key, the car engine roaring to life, you route your GPS to a certain Brooklyn apartment.

Pulling up to the building felt so strange. Sure you had driven by before and watched it nearly 24/7 but parking your car outside seemed like a bad idea. A shiver runs down your spine as anxiety settles in your stomach, feeling as though your heart jumped to your throat. You release a deep breath as you step out of your car, wrapping the jacket you had on around you tighter. As you approach the main entrance, your hands shake when reaching for the brass door handle.

When you enter the building, it was exactly as you expected. Single apartments on either side of you dictated by A and B, a staircase in the middle of the hallway that went up 5 floors, even the mirror hanging above the small table in the main hall seemed to be exactly where you expected it. The familiarity of the building brings a small sense of comfort to you it fully sinks in what you are about to do. Your footsteps seem to echo as you climb the stairs to the 4th floor, knowing he resided in apartment 4B. When you reach the 4th floor, you can feel the anxiety creeping up again, feeling as though you were going to be sick. You quickly take note of your exit routes before walking to the door with the brass plaque on it that read '4B'.

You take a deep breath before knocking against the wooden door, swallowing hard as you try to find what to say.

"Mr.Barnes? I um- I know you don't like visitors especially if it is unannounced but I just- I feel like we need to talk."

You speak, your voice coming out softer than you had wanted it, making you wonder whether he even heard you. You can hear his heavy footsteps approaching the door and stop just as he reaches it. After a few seconds of silence, you clear your throat.

"I'm going to be honest with you. I came here to try and figure out what happened. I have been angry for so long and I'm positive my anger is based in confusion and so I came looking for answers. I have been trying to figure it out on my own but it's never a good enough answer, you are my last resort."

Your voice slowly becomes a whisper as you ramble, not noticing just how much you were saying until it was already said. You hear a deep sigh on the other side of the door. When he speaks his voice comes out gruff and raspy, as though he hadn't spoken in years.

"You with Shield?"

His question has you sighing in defeat, expecting this to be the end of the conversation as you respond.

"I am but they aren’t aware that I am here right now. I came here strictly on my own business and accord."

Your response is hopeful as if trying to prove to him that he isn't your assignment. That he isn't your mission. You hear his footsteps and then the door of the lock squeaking open. The sound of the doorknob turning causes you to swallow hard, understanding that you were about to walk into his domain.

As he opens the door, your eyes fall to him, your lips parting slightly in shock. You had expected to see a man full fo hatred, covered in wounds and bruises. You had expected to see a killer open that door. Yet standing in front of you was a man. His hair was brown and to his shoulders, dark circles rested beneath his crystal blue eyes, a black hat was placed on his head, shadowing his face partially. He looked tired, maybe even burnt out. His appearance made you almost feel bad for him. You notice a glove covering his left hand, that same hand motions for you to come inside and for some reason, you do.

As you step inside, you look around the apartment. Newspaper covers the windows, the floor was worn, a small kitchen to your right and a mattress on the floor to your right, no sheets on it. You would’ve thought Hydra would set up their best soldier better before they got taken down. He stands next to the kitchen counter, examining you. As your gaze falls back to him, a shiver runs down your spine at the look in his eyes. It wasn’t predatory or dangerous, his eyes were full of curiosity and nervousness.

“You wanted to talk?” He asks, clearing his throat as if trying to remind you why you were here. Your attention snaps back to the task at hand.

“Yes. I um- I…” You trail off, feeling words die in your throat. How could you explain this to him without sounding weird?

“I have looked over your files, I know your history.” You notice him tense up as you speak, his jaw clenching and his posture straightening slightly. You continue;

“I’m not here to hurt you or pry too much but there are so many questions I have that I can’t get answers to except from you. I um- I had a brother. His name was Cody. He was the funniest guy you’d ever meet, he would tell stupid dad jokes and make sure everyone had a good time everywhere he went.” A dry laugh escapes your throat as you feel your chest tighten, the words coming to you easier now as you speak about someone so close to you. “He went to towns outside of what was Sokovia to help build hospitals after the Avengers destroyed the country. I went to visit him for the summer, taking time off work to go help him do this amazing service. When I got there, his project advisor said he hadn’t seen him so I went looking for him in the hospital he was working on at the time. I found him in the basement, shot in the chest and once in the back of the head. He was slouched against the wall opposite the door, sitting in his own blood. His eyes were still open…” As you describe the scene you had walked into, the memory floods back like a dam breaking. Tears well up in your eyes as your gaze drops to the floor, not wanting him to see you this emotionally vulnerable. You notice his stance has relaxed, his face dropping as you speak. He knows what’s coming, waiting for you to say it.

“He was assassinated by The Winter Soldier. The shots were so precise, I knew that’s who it had to be. No one would make it two clean shots. I knew how Hydra trained their soldiers. I contacted Shield to find out if my brother was in Hydra’s files and if I could bypass the encryption to see them. I was able to. He was listed as a false suspect.” The words choke out, your voice cracking as a son takes your body, placing a hand on the counter in front of you to hold yourself up.

“He wasn’t even a threat, Hydra misidentified him as their next target. He was killed for no fucking reason. He didn’t deserve that. He was doing such good work, hell he was doing better work than I could ever do at Shield.” You scoff out the last sentence, sniffle and wiping your face with your sleeve. Your gaze rises to the ceiling, as if trying to get the tears to stop. Your lips quiver as you try to calm down, seemingly unable to stop the cries that make your whole body quiver. You don't want to look at him, knowing you would fully breakdown, your knees threatening to give out. You hear him clear his throat, the sound coming out like choking. You blink quickly, bringing your hand up and wiping your eyes with your jacket sleeve. You sniffle, trying desperately to gather yourself before continuing.

"I'm not here to try and condemn you, I simply just want answers..." You hesitate as you speak, your voice coming out broken and soft, your tone shifting to be almost pleading with him. You slowly lift your gaze from the floor, your eyes landing on him. He stands on the opposite side of the counter from you, his hands resting on the wooden top. His head is bowed, his hair falling like a curtain in front of his face. You take a few deep breaths as you try to compose yourself. When you speak, your voice comes out more even;

"I just want to know if you remember him."

You watch as he slowly lifts his head. His voice comes out soft, barely above a whisper.

"I remember them all. It was like I was screaming to get out but I couldn't. It's like I was a witness to my own crimes that I couldn't stop." His voice breaks as he speaks. You notice the tears that fall down his cheeks, his eyes seeming to glaze over in pure grief. In those few sentences, your entire perspective shatters. The man before you wasn't a killer, Hydra made him that way. They scrambled his brain and controlled him like robot. He was nothing but a tool for them. You watch as he breaks down, beginning to pace circles in the small kitchen, trying to control his breathing. Your breathing begins to pick up and without thinking, you walk around to the other side of the counter, now invading his space even further.

"I'm so sorry..." He chokes out, his voice hoarse as he looks at you, his cheeks wet with tears. Almost like an instinct you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in to a tight embrace. Sobs rake his body as he practically collapses into you. You had been so stuck in your own grief and anger that you hadn't stopped to think about all that he has dealt with. Sure, his trauma doesn't diminish the loss he caused you as The Winter Soldier, but it gave you a new perspective as to how broken he is about it too. You find yourself running your fingers through his hair trying to soothe him. Tears run down your cheeks as you stand there, holding the shattered man in your arms. You feel his metal arm wrap around the small of your back, his other one wrapping around your shoulders, trying to pull you closer to him. His face is buried into your shoulder as you speak, your voice just above a whisper;

"I forgive you."

#sebastian stan #bucky barnes #marvel #the winter soldier #fanfic #fanfiction #x reader #angst

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