#so you can imagine the kind of shameless bragging that comes out of this guys mouth unprompted

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

True besties in love moment is when someone you both don't like arrives at a party and you share a side-eye look

[sinner-as-saint]

Can’t Get Enough

F-boy!Steve x Reader AU

Run-through: Despite all the warnings and words of caution, you still get involved with the most arrogant and popular fuckboy on campus…

Themes: fuckboy!steve, smut, fluff?

“He’s bad news.”

“He’s like, the most arrogant person ever. Walks around like he owns the place.”

“Screw Rogers honestly, he just wants to fuck everyone and everything.”

“Him and his friends are exactly the kind of people you should stay away from at all times.”

Words of cautions, warning you against Steve Rogers – the notorious, popular, drop dead gorgeous guy on campus – came flooding in from everywhere. But did you listen? No.

How could you when all he did was walk around with that god damn smirk on, and his irresistible deep blue eyes which reminded you of the bluest of seas on a sunny day, and those tight shirts which; showing off his perfect, muscular body.

And that god damn baseball cap worn backwards – that made you weak almost each time you ran into him at the coffee shop, at a party or rarely in the library. Although he look equally as delicious without it, the hat definitely added on to his bad boy charm.

And secretly, we all love a bad boy, don’t why? So despite all the warnings, you fell for his charm and his boyish manner – falling head first – the minute he approached you at a party one night. It was a uni after party, so it was packed with horny young adults – including yourself.

Steve walked over to you with a seductive smirk on his pretty face. His smooth pick-up lines, and cheesy jokes and his impeccable body won you over in less than a few minutes. “Wanna get out of here?” he asked.

You raised an eyebrow, deciding to play just a little hard to get. Because truth is, you were ready to get low, down and gritty right there and then. “Yeah no, I’m not fucking you tonight Rogers.” You smirked and walked away. Needless to say, he followed you like a lost puppy.

“Come on, Y/N.” he faked pouted and everything when he cornered you playfully near the stairs. “I’ll be so good to you.” he whispered the last part in your ear. And you would be lying if you said your whole body didn’t feel all hot and bothered.

You shook your head and tried walking away again. He grabbed your arm and pulled you closer. “Let’s go for a drive then, away from all this.”

Your common sense left and you agreed.

He did take you for a drive, in his expensive car – daddy’s money you figured. And he also fucked you in the backseat of his car.

Legs spread apart, hands holding each side of your waist as you lowered yourself down on his thick, hard cock. The moment you had him inside you, he threw his head back and let out a loud, shameless moan, “Fuck…” his voice deep and raspy with lust; which only made you want to fuck him even more.

A lot of things gave away that he had done this before. The way he knew how to maneuver around, how to position your body, where to kiss you to make you lose your mind, where to hold you to get you going… but you didn’t care. The need to have him was pressing and all your mind could focus on is making both of you cum.

“Come on doll, don’t be shy. Ride me,” he grabbed your chin and pulled your face closer, biting down on your lower lip gently. “Ride me big cock like you know you want to. Show me how bad you want it…” he trailed off in another loud moan as you lifted your body up and sank down on him again. This cock stretching you out and filling you up each time. You could feel him deep inside you, you could see the bulge which formed at your lower abdomen as he filled you up.

You threw your head back and moaned as well, placing your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as you quickened your pace. Steve lifted his hips occasionally, fucking into you and reaching deeper inside you but he mostly let you do all the work.

“Fuck… you feel so fucking good…” he moaned, biting down on your neck, and shoulder. “So wet, and warm and tight for me.” He whispered against your skin.

At some point, realizing that you were purposely slowing down to tease him each time, he growled and grabbed you by the hips and just pounded into you; lifting his hips up and fucking you hard and fast. You felt him stretch you out like no one ever did before. He felt so snug and so big inside you; you were losing your mind

Okay but fuckboy!steve would make you cum like no one else. Just absolutely railing you in the backseat of his car; not bothering about how loud you got, or how warm and steamy it got inside his car; he’d just be at it until you’re a whimpering mess, filled with his cum. One orgasm overlapping with another, toes curling, voice hoarse, Steve would own all of you in that moment, and you’d happily let him.

Yet, after that steamy night you expected him to pretend like he never saw met you. Ghost you like he did other girls, but no. He found you in the library, and walked over to you, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your cheek. You were just as surprised as the rest of your friends when they saw that interaction.

You two never called it a relationship. But everyone else knew that you two were spending every day and night together.

Okay but fuckboy!steve would be so awkward about dates; it would be borderline funny.

“Do you wanna like, do something after class today?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, movie or something? We can grab dinner afterwards. Or go to the beach. You pick.”

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

He’d blush and try to hide his face. “What, no! I just wanna hang out.”

Hanging out with fuckboy!steve meant going places and fucking as much as you could without getting caught.

Sex in the library, after he snuck the two of you in after closing time.

Sex in his car, like every weekend.

Sex in bathrooms at parties; in the pool after everyone’s passed out drunk, on balconies, and in whichever bed you could find.

He never called himself your boyfriend, but he was ready to fight whoever the fuck even dared to flirt with you, or even look at you the wrong way. Even his friends found it unusual. Sam and Bucky often passed flirty comments at you, and they both always received a smack on the head for it.

“What’s wrong with you?” Sam always complained about his friend’s protective behavior. “It’s not like she’s your girlfriend or anything.”

Steve would roll his eyes, “Shut up Sam. She’s mine.”

Being Steve’s girl would include;

Receiving dirty texts when you’re in class. The kind which made you lose focus and send your mind straight to the gutter.

Going on long drives to nowhere in particular and making out in his car.

Stealing and wearing his jackets and hoodies, and have every girl stare at you in envy. Or wearing his baseball caps when you’re out sometimes.

Keeping up with his moodiness.

Teasing him about how you’d tell his friends that he secretly loves watching Disney movies with you.

Him bragging to his friends about how good you are in bed, and once you caught him and didn’t speak to him for a whole week and he was miserable. Incessant calls and messages, and begging for forgiveness.

Arguments leading to hardcore, hot sex where you’re both just fucking the frustration out of each other. Steve secretly liked you a little feisty. And you liked it when he was all rough and mean in bed.

Sitting on his lap, keeping his cock warm while he plays video games. And all the grunts and sighs of victory leaving his lips would only make you want to fuck him even more.

“Hey, sit still.” He’d whisper once he catches you trying to grind your hips against him.

You’d whine at how you were right on the edge; his cock stretching you out, snug inside you, throbbing in need against your walls. All you needed him to do is make you cum already. “Steve please.”  

He’d chuckle and smirk. “No. You’ve been a brat all day. Bitching about how I don’t give you enough attention and I don’t care about you. And brats don’t get to cum so easily. Now sit still, I’ll be done in like half an hour or so.”

Okay but imagine fuckboy!steve being secretly a softie who loves cuddles and loves it when you baby him, shower him with cuddles and kisses. But then around his friends he’s that guy who pretends he’s all tough and manly.

But when he’s with you it’s all like; “What are you doing over there? Come here and give me cuddles, I’m cold.” He’d pout.

And you knew he was nothing but trouble, but you couldn’t get enough of him.

[rintarhue]

MASTERLIST

𝗟𝗘𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗗: angst - ✧ | fluff - ✿ | smut - ♡ | done - ✓

𝗪𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗡 𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗦

(SERIES!)

→ MERRY FICMAS [ON HIATUS]

→ tales of love | sakusa, kenma, akaashi, kageyama, kunimi, suna x reader [✧✿♡]

The year 2022 started great for Y/N L/N; an author with over six bestselling books all over the world. Her series, “Tales of Love,” has received an overwhelmingly huge amount of praise from fans and even critics. Despite all of her current achievements, she can’t help but feel like she’s lying to everyone—as she never really experienced the concept of love firsthand. Life circles back at her when she suddenly wakes up in all of her written books; learning what love truly is one by one.

(FICS!)

→ beautiful painting | mikey x reader [♡]

Mikey’s all time favorites are your eyes filled with tears and desperate moans calling for his name—a picture-perfect painting for him.

→ good girl | rindou x reader [♡]

Rindou is a simple man with simple wants, and you behaving like his good girl is one of them.

→ rises the moon | mitsuya x reader [✧✿]

A story of how the Sun loved the Moon so much she died every night to let him breathe. 

→ mementos of moments, of memories [✧✿]

A letter filled with Izana’s mementos of moments, of memories. The unspoken truths are ones that are the hardest to let go of. 

𝗦𝗢𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗔 𝗔𝗨𝗦

→ love maze | msby x reader [✧✿✓]

One mistake leads to another and you find yourself trapped in a messy love maze between four different idiots.

→ instant boyfriend | suna x reader [✧✿✓]

Y/N has always been known for being shameless, single, and eccentric. When her friend, Oikawa, discovers an app for finding a boyfriend, it seemed as if all her problems vanished—but here’s the gist; her boyfriend is a robot? Yet human at the same time? Kinda?

SPIN-OFF: Network Love

→ nvrlnd's quest | pretty setter squad x reader [✧✿ - ON HIATUS]

Worldwide famous idol group, NVRLND, launches their very own variety show! Though, their competitiveness to win pretty much makes them desperate to get Y/N's attention, while the whole world watches.

→ network love | kenma x reader [✧✿✓]

For Y/N, working for Bouncing Ball Corp. has been amazing. the salary is high, her co-workers are all genuinely kind and fun to hangout with, and lastly, her boss is hot as fuck. Everything’s been good until she accidentally sends the wrong file—a file filled with her impromptu lingerie shoot.

RELATED TO: Instant Boyfriend

→ fanwars | osamu x reader [short imagine]

prompt: miya osamu is a globally known rapper; famous for his hit songs such as supermarket runs, tequila, and do re fuck me. unknown to everyone, he owns a stan account—well, for himself. after releasing a new song, he lurks through twitter only to find himself in his very first fanwar.

→ love letter | oikawa x reader [✧✿ - INDEFINITE HIATUS] — may be rewritten as a long fic in the near future!

Little Toki has almost everything in his life; the best father, the sweetest uncles, and a big lego set that he can brag to his friends about. Though, he longs for a mother figure in his life—and that's where his Teacher Y/N enters the picture.

→ between bedsheets | kageyama x reader [✧✿ - INDEFINITE HIATUS]

Kageyama Tobio has always been a closed-off person; keeping his feelings in a cage—wary of setting it free. When he meets a carefree and outgoing person that was just out of his bounds, he lets himself loose into the feeling between them and the bedsheets.

→ pretty blond guy | kenma, armin, mikey, kurapika x reader [prompt]

Y/N finds a pretty blond camboy on Twitter. Since his face is blurred in his videos, she makes it her own mission to search for him. With the help of the people on Twitter, she comes down to four people - Armin Arlert, Kenma Kozume, Mikey Sano, and Kurapika Kurta.

𝗗𝗥𝗔𝗕𝗕𝗟𝗘𝗦 (or headcanons)

troy bolton! ushijima

aone plushie collector <3

haikyuu characters using weverse (part 1)

happy birthday hinata!!! (special)

© RINTARHUE — do not copy, translate, or repost.

[yanderedbh-moved]

The Yanderes + Smut Scenarios

Fun with the DBH character + fun tropes! Requests are open, though, if you want me to expand on, or write more from any of these ideas. Obviously NSFW below the cut so read at your own digression.

Connor

Surprisingly gentle when he is In the Mood. No more aggressive, just a bit more physically close is all. Rubbing his body up against yours, loving touches, a kiss on the cheek. The sort of things most people would brush off, but from Connor, you know he must want something here.

The more an more headed he becomes, the more possessive, like more than either of you would’ve expected. It’s hard for him not to get extra handsy here and feel an exquisite sense of power holding you in his bed.

But when he isn’t buried in the mood, Connor can’t help but feel a little nervous here. Sex isn’t exactly part of his programmed directions, so he worries he might mess up here. Just urge him forward and say he’s doing so well, and this is an issue easily forgotten.

Markus

Sensory deprivation, all the way. He wants to leave you as overstimulated and under his control as possible. Usually, he’ll just use a blindfold on you, and it’ll work just fine for him.

Even though he loves to punish you for being naughty, or for distracting him from his work, physical pain isn’t really a line he crosses all that often. Usually, his preferred method to get you to feel sorry is orgasm denial, or as mentioned before, pain overstimulation. He doesn’t necessarily want to see you in pain, you’re begging is more than enough for him. 

Oh no, someone saw/heard the two of you fucking? What a shame... Seriously though, he’s absolutely the one to get extra loud if he thinks others are close by.

Kara

Not really something she likes to admit to, but Kara loves to push you down during sex. Like not really as far as stepping on you, but forcing you into the mattress or the pillows is probably about the furthest amount of pain she’s willing to give during sex.

Kara seems like the kind of girl who would really surprise her partner with how much stamina she had during sex. You already knew how strong she was outside the bedroom, but here, you never imagined Kara had such vigor.

Another place Kara likes to get lewd would definitely be the tub. Usually, here she would take an innocent activity like washing your hair or cleaning you up and turn it into something much more intimate and risque.

Hank

Lowkey might have one of the dirtiest minds out of everyone. It’s probably because he’s been around the longest, and is easily the most experienced, but seriously don’t think he won’t get incredibly graphic just because he’s older.

While personally, Hank would only ever want to get really dirty if it were just the two of you, that just makes the moments of intimacy all the raunchier. If he knows he can trust you, Hank will growl the most shameless, depraved things you’ve ever heard as he slips a leg between your thighs.

Hank may like to be the controlled dom in the bedroom, he’s also the type of partner to get extra sloppy the closer he gets to his orgasm. He really loves to curl his first in your hair as he finds himself overwhelmed by his own pleasure.

Luther

Even though he’s pretty quiet during sex, all things considered, he’s definitely the kind of guy who would get extra loud the closer he gets to come. Usually in the form of low grunts and growls.

Literally, Luther is such a teddybear! He is very understanding of anything you would feel outright uncomfortable with, and if there was anything you wanted to try with him, but didn’t understand, Luther would very carefully and without judgment guide you through the motions.

When he is really in the mood to be the more dominant partner, Luther actually likes to keep the atmosphere between the two of you somewhat playful. He’s far more into teasing than he is into pain.

North

If you keep trying to tease her and play with her in public, she will absolutely respond by shoving you up against the wall and making out with you in that very spot. If anyone sees this and thinks she’s acting desperate? That sounds like their problem...

Needs a lot of reassurance that you love her, that she’s doing well, and all that jazz. But make no mistake, she will absolutely return the favor and deliver you the same kindness.

Once she does find her stride though, she might actually warm-up and be pretty team Harsh Dom TM. (Ma’am? Please raw me?)

Simon

Unpredictable to a fault. You may think you know him well, but it’s not exactly his style to just deliver what’s expected of him. More likely, he likes to leave you as flustered and confused as possible until you’re basically weeping for him to give you release.

He would absolutely wreck you if you allowed him to. As in, Simon would love to just tease you and wind you up for hours without giving you a break, and until your unable to do anything but follow his command.

While you might expect someone like him to lean more on the side of subbing or something like that, you might actually be surprised at how naturally he takes to the role of a dom. Something about the stress of the leaders of Jericho breathing down his neck all the time leaves the man with a need to feel in control every now and then.

Josh

Josh always does his best to be gentle around you, and to keep your safety and comfort of utmost importance, the longer this guy goes without a good lay, he harder it gets for him to hold back. And he can’t help but get a little feral if he’s really been missing out on his “quality time” with you.

As a pretty quiet guy during sex, he has a major soft spot for partners who make him ask for what he wants during sex. He’s certainly not above begging every now and then.

Might lowkey brag to the other members of Jericho about this when he’s done. It’s not because he wants you to be embarrassed here or anything, it’s just that he really enjoyed himself, and he wants others to know how great you are!

Kamski

He’s been known to leave bruises on your hips from grabbing them too harshly as he forces you to grind up against his leg.

An absolute bastard. One of Elijah's biggest turn-ons includes controlled orgasms and denial. It’s hard to say whether he enjoys the control or the begging more, but the bottom line is, if you aren’t begging him shamelessly by the end of the night, you won’t be getting any kind of gratification from him.

He’s always been very talented with his hands/his fingers, and this absolutely extends to sex as well. It’s something both you and him are well aware of, so much so that just the mere sight of you in a dress or a skirt is enough to get him feeling more than a little tempted.

Chloe

To your surprise, Chloe is actually rather shy during sex for someone so usually extraverted and social. And to be honest, during your first couple of times, she might come off as a bit of a pillow princess...

Chloe is far from loud when it comes to sex, however, if you’re on top, Chloe loves to praise, and if you can really get her going, it’s hard for her to keep calm or lower her volume.

Likely the type of partner who’s like, “This is so dirty, what would others think if they saw us like this... Keep going!”

Gavin

If he has dirty dreams about you in his sleep, Gavin will likely unconsciously start grinding up against you in the middle of the night, muttering suggestive nothings to himself in his own little dreamland.

 Loves to give you some additional suggestive dirty talk when the two of you are in public, or even better, out with other people. He won’t be loud enough for other people to hear, but just enough to get you a little tensed up.

What really gets him excited, though is whenever you let him break out the gun during sex. He’s pretty into power play and holding the gun to your chin, or naked chest gives everything an effective dose of thrill and excitement.

Zlatko

The man loves to spend so much time covering your neck and shoulders in love bites. It might hurt, but it’s kind of a compliment from him, it’s his way of providing you with a more fitting, more permanent collar.

His personal favorite way to torment you when he can tell you’re really close to reaching your end is with painfully slow thrusts. There’s very little in life which he finds more pleasurable than the way he feels your body writhing below his own.

The other biggest turn on for him would likely be fear. The reasons here being a mix of both the feelings of adrenaline and control it gives him. Whether you’re just a little afraid or completely fucking terrified, it’s all the same to him, really.

Ralph

Mr. No experience. He’s also far from an intuitive lover, and unfortunately, it’s not unheard of for him to accidentally hurt you during sex. Because of this, it’s vital for both of you to very clearly guide him through things.

Just hearing the way your own pleasure causes your voice to tremble and crack is enough to seriously turn him on. But to listen to this between his legs is undoubtedly a very lovely plus...

Being as physically close to you as possible during sex is a must for him. Ralph wants to hold you if he can, and if he can’t, then he will struggle to do so. Usually, it’s better to just lean into his touch here, so he’s not too distracted and doesn’t get too desperate.

(Additionally, this guy probably makes the weirdest noises during sex. Like boy might straight up start hissing or some shit, and you just gotta roll with it.)

Daniel

Genuinely thinks it’s a compliment to show you how hard he is, or how much you’re turning him on, even during the most indecent of times.

Daniel is far more comfortable as a sub than any other position. Even during sex Daniel is gravely worried over the idea of disappointing you, and in this position, it’s the easiest for him not to worry about that.

Somehow the best at dirty talk? Like he will growl the nastiest shit you’ve ever heard during sex, and it’s the best.

Nines

Love to catch you off guard. Not necessarily with anything too startling, but with some gentle caresses and contact which leaves you flustered and taken by the advance. Furthermore, Nines isn’t the type to just jump right into sex without any kind of foreplay. He’s really more of a “slow burn” kind of guy.

One of the quietest during sex. You really won’t hear much out of his mouth, especially if it’s occupied.

Essential to know Nines possesses an excellent memory. He’s the one to remember all the positions which leave you the most desperate and needy, and he absolutely will use that against you.

[aqvarius]

[HAPPY ENDING WALKTHROUGH + REVIEW] HLITF: Toru Kurosawa MS1: Meeting Him + MS2: Falling in Love

Oh, Kurosawa. Sweet Kurosawa. How I loved you. Honestly I was kind of fine with just his My Sweet Bodyguard route back in 2014. See this review for more and also for noob Tea writing back when 18 old me thought that constituted critical analysis (now I am self-aware enough to just call this a standard review/thoughts haha, what analysis…). So anyway I was kind of fine not playing Kurosawa’s routes until I started writing batch headcanons and then got a couple of asks about Toru and felt like I needed to get a better understanding of his actual character.

Expectations:

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I’d heard from a few people that his MS1 was not that good and/or straight up infuriating so naturally I was intrigued. I was writing a review at the time (Takado from Romance MD) and looked back my old reviews to see how I did the structuring and I stumbled across that Kurosawa MSB review (and my scathing Goto MSB review lol) and I liked him well enough! I just had some issues with the pacing of the story and general lack of MC involvement. So I kinda thought it’ll probably be a similar sort of route where Toru has to sort out his issues and I guess his MC will help him get through them.

I already knew from MSB that Kurosawa has a dark side so I already didn’t go into it expecting the genki type (e.g. Sora from MSB/Hiro from Love Letter from Thief X/Nagito from Scandal in the Spotlight). Well even though I thought I knew what I was getting into, this sweet and naïve girl was not expecting that rollercoaster ride of a route.

Click below to read my thoughts (spoiler warning!!) and scroll all the way to the bottom for the happy ending walkthrough

Reactions:

I wrote at the end of my notes that I’m surprised actually how similar his route is to his MSB route. I definitely want to address this in more detail but I’ll start with Toru’s character.

So Toru starts off very genki and chipper and like how he usually comes across as when you see him in anyone else’s route. He’s friendly and supportive and encouraging and he helps you out. Actually parts of his MS1 are quite similar to Soma – the way they treat and use informants in particular. I made a joke that Kurosawa is like Soma but darker and then he more or less confirmed it in MS2 so… I’m just bragging about how well I know my Boys lmao ignore me. The main difference here is that his MC isn’t the most competent, unlike Soma’s MC who is “the best suited for Public Safety” (sorry I’m like flexing here cause I love Soma’s MC so much) and actually good. That’s when Toru steps in to give you handy advice and a cheery smile since Ishigami is really good at cutting you to the ground. There’s always something jarring about going back to reading MS1 routes for any character because you always forget how noob MC is at the beginning haha. Except Soma’s MC who is a boss and a half. That being said, she does get better when she puts her mind to it.

Anyway, it takes seeing him deal with informants that makes you realise that there might be something a little more insidious about his character (but this is the same tactic as Soma so it’s not quite unique yet). But you only really get a sense of how dark he really is right at the very end of his MS1, like literally only right at the end of his Happy Ending. That also brings me to something I don’t like which is you have a whole chunk of story missing if you only get his Good End. The only thing you get is a warning from Soma that being involved with Kurosawa will make you cry and then you have to figure out from context clues in MS2 that Toru pulled a good old fuck n chuck on you. And that officially makes him the biggest asshole in HLITF. Going back and reading the MS1 special stories is tragic cause MC really believes Kurosawa is her destiny like a total fool when he’s just played her like a freaking triangle – that’s how easy she is to get played. I hope you’ve already played when reading this or weren’t planning on reading it or don’t mind spoilers because it was seriously a shock when it happened. Like I knew something was gonna go wrong because no way would it be that easy but I was not expecting that from a game like HLITF. Even when reading through his MS2, I really thought he wasn’t just playing her for sex and that there was affection there somewhere that he was just trying to tamp down. I think this is where my preconceived ideas of him from MSB were playing up because that’s maybe what would have gone down had it happened with MSB MC.

I wrote in my old MSB review that Kurosawa’s character is made of contradictions and that even at the end of his route, I still don’t quite understand him and that I found him realistically human that I felt like he could exist outside of the gamespace. Interestingly, I feel the exact same way about him in HLITF. Even after finishing his MS2 and epilogue, I don’t quite get him. Granted, I may be feeling this way because with the other Lis that I’ve read, I’ve been able to read enough to get a better sense of their characters the more I play. But I feel like Toru is someone that even after you’re together, he still keeps himself quite hidden; actually, this is far more so the case than in MSB. I joked that he wears a condom over his feelings at all times and it’s TRUE. That’s what he has on: an emotional condom.

However, this feeling of not quite getting him may be due to the dynamics between Toru and his MC and the confusing nature of their relationship and its development. The thing feels weird about Kurosawa’s MS1 and 2 is that it’s different from the other routes (except Namba’s maybe? I haven’t played him yet) in that you’re not his aide. Toru is your ‘same age friend’ rather than an instructor (although he’s 25 and Shinonome is 26 so it’s kind of interesting that there’s such a HUGE gap between you and Shinonome even though there’s only one (or maybe two) years between you). So first off it’s absolutely tragic how little Ishigami cares about you in this route lol. But I think one of the things I enjoy the most about HLITF is that instructor-aide dynamic (sorry Ayumu but dw I still love you even though we’re peers now) and that’s definitely missing in this route. You do get some guidance and stuff but it sort of comes across more as friendly advice from a neighbour rather than instruction from your mentor. I think Kurosawa had more of an instructor vibe in Soma’s Adversaries route than in his own routes.

I guess it’s that MC idolises Kurosawa as a senpai who she thinks is better in every way and she’s always fawning over how sweet and helpful and funny he is, which is why she becomes so disillusioned when he has no problems completely fucking her over. It’s quite entertaining how much this MC hates Kurosawa after he plays her. Like, she’s SO pissed. Even Ayumu’s MC never hated him even when he messed her about and somehow she kept loving him with the persistence of a parasite. No, our dear friend MC despises him.

Her anger is actually quite comical. I think personally I relate more to the type of MC that Kaga/Soma/Ishigami have, so playing Kurosawa’s routes definitely felt like more of a ‘third person perspective’ thing for me. If you have a shorter fuse than I do and like to act on your emotions then you’ll likely feel satisfied reading this route. That this MC’s personality is so different from MSB MC is probably what makes their dynamic so different. Kurosawa would never treat MSB MC like he did HLITF MC. Speaking of their dynamic though, I’m a little confused by the idolisation vs rival thing. At one point towards the end of MS2, Ishigami basically tells you to stop putting Kurosawa on a pedestal and treat him as a rival because you’re the same age – but has MC really been idolising him in MS2? Hasn’t she kind of been hating him?  

Kurosawa’s MC is also fairly different from the other HLITF MCs that I’ve played. They all generally have good instincts and a strong conviction and sense of justice and so much empathy for their men and their issues. However, there are some notable differences: for example, Shinonome’s MC is optimistic, almost to a fault. Even when she feels like she’s been betrayed, she still loves Shinonome unconditionally. Shinonome’s MC is very genki and a bit more shameless haha. MCs like Soma’s and Kaga’s (and I imagine Ishigami’s) are a little more hesitant(?) and sweeter, possibly because they’re more easily led around by the demanding Kaga and the manipulative Soma. While still having the base HLITF MC traits, somehow Kurosawa’s MC seems a little more pessimistic and more cynical than the others and overall not as cute/sweet. But also she seems to have higher 女子力 (not sure how I can translate this… like feminine aesthetic ability? Google it or google joshiryoku) since she describes wearing makeup three whole times in the route!! Which is three more times than I’ve ever in my life heard HLITF MC talk about wearing makeup. I bet Ayumu is wishing his MC is more like this lolol. Essentially I think all the other HLITF MCs trust their instructors and their relationship with their whole being (except Ayumu’s but she’s optimistic enough to get through it) whereas Toru’s MC really does not lol.

One of the issues I had with Kurosawa’s MSB route is how abruptly or inexplicably they fall in love. I have the exact same problem with this route. I’m thinking maybe they tried to do the ‘betrayed by a guy you thought was your friend and started developing feelings for and then falling in love even after seeing his true self’ thing but the problem is you don’t see them falling in love! Especially in MS2 which is literally called “Falling in love”. In fact, you just see MC getting more and more angry and annoyed at him. Okay I can sort of excuse that, maybe since I think her anger stems from the fact that he just played her like that even while she liked him so much. If she didn’t like him then she’s probably think “wow he’s an ass and I’m a terrible judge of character” but overall wouldn’t give a fuck. Even then, the MS2 Good Ending chapter seems to indicate that you’re not fully aware of your feelings for him. But when does Kurosawa start falling for you? You literally don’t know. He just plays you and plays you and treats you the same as always and then BAM episode 10 and he’s suddenly confessing his love and saying he’ll keep loving you even if you hate him (but only in the HE). I’m trying to figure out when exactly he falls for you because I don’t know that he’d do the good old ‘lie to a girl to have a one night stand’ manoeuvre if he already liked you; in fact, he even admits that he couldn’t stand you at first. Maybe he starts liking you when you start treating him coldly haha. But it also seems like he likes your soft-heartedness? I guess we won’t know for sure until his PoV is released. Voltage is getting good with making money lol.

I think I actually kind of enjoyed the MS2 GE more than the HE because I think getting Ishigami’s acknowledgement and approval (and his schedule!!!! Finally!!!!) somehow meant more to me than getting Kurosawa’s love. But this is also because Ishigami is at least respectful to you in other people’s routes usually but he’s so scornful in Kurosawa’s routes it makes me so sad haha please love me Hideki-san.

But yeah anyway I got serious déjà vu over two things: the first being the sudden random confession. The second is Kurosawa just going AWOL. I basically SCREAMED when he went AWOL cause that was an issue I had in his MSB route (you spend like 2 whole chapters just looking for him and texting him and calling him to no avail l m a o). And then the exact fucking same thing happened in his MS2!!!!! Granted, it didn’t take 2 chapters to resolve but o m g, it’s like the writer consulted with his MSB route before writing this lol. At least HLITF MC actually gets to contribute to Toru’s development this time. Similar to how Goto’s MSB and HLITF routes have some minor differences in the details of his back story, Kurosawa also has some small changes in his history with regards to what happened between his father and his uncle which is kinda nice because the story will still feel fresh and new even if you’ve played his MSB route.

ETA: another thing I forgot to mention is that Kurosawa’s low self esteem really comes through in a very similar way as in MSB. See here a quote from MSB:

and then in HLITF:

(Toru is actually Very Precious when he takes off that emotional condom) 

One thing that every single HLITF route gets right is the plot. I don’t know what else to say, the plots are always just really good. Detailed, intriguing, suspenseful, the perfect amount of action. The reason I love this whole title so much is because you have the romantic aspect but you also really feel involved in uncovering these grand schemes through investigation and it always thrills me towards the last third of the route when the action and drama really pick up. So good. The one thing that always clues you in on the possible perpetrators though is that they have sprites. Every time there’s a sprite you just KNOW they’re somehow involved in the plot lol.  The quality of the writing too has improved so much compared to other titles that were written and/or translated a few years ago. There’s a lot of contemporary slang and references that makes me feel like it’s definitely a native English speaker who’s doing the translation, and someone who’s really clued into contemporary English-speaking media and online culture.

The epilogue was kind of cute but I didn’t feel super immersed because I was upset at my boy Shinonome for going to goukon when he has me waiting around to hang out with him. Kurosawa’s MC is definitely a lot more forward than other HLITF MC (bar Shinonome’s, but Shinonome’s MC is cuter about it) which is great and she seems to be a good and mature communicator. You get a really sexy CG (which by the way can we just thank the HLITF artist because she never fails to deliver incredible art) and Kurosawa is surprisingly human in bed. You can definitely sense that their relationship is more balanced than that of instructor-aide overall; MC is more proactive rather than in some other routes where it’s always your instructors who are doing all the work lol. Maybe this is because you’re peers/same age friends.

In general, I think Toru’s a great character, really interesting, there’s lots of nuance and detail to his characterisation and I think the writers did a good job. I just prefer a different type of guy when I play otome games. I bought the ending set just to write this review for some reason thinking that it was the PoV stories but I made a mistake and it’s just the .5 stories rather than his PoV (I’m thinking it’s the sequel maybe? Where the PoV is in the Special Stories) so you’re welcome. There’s this whole water bottle/flower plot running through the special stories which is actually quite sweet and it makes me a little annoyed because it’s way cuter than the actual MS. You’ll definitely like it if you’re a fan of Kurosawa though. It’s also kinda funny cause it just goes and undoes the whole soulmate-debunking thing because I guess it turns out that you were destined to meet, just way before you two ever even knew of each other’s existence. Both the action plot and the romantic plot of Kurosawa’s Season 1 are really set up for continuing on in Season 2 and getting closer both to him and the truth behind the mysterious hospital death/cult investigation so it would be nice to see how the relationship and the story develop in the years to come. Voltage you’d better not cancel HLITF or I’m gonna beg outside your headquarters every day for 5 years and/or until I get arrested for trespassing.

If you want to get Happy Ending for Toru Kurosawa’s MS1: Meeting Him and MS2: Falling in Love, read on below for the walkthrough.

Toru Kurosawa MS1: Meeting Him Happy Ending Walkthrough

Ep 1

B. “Definitely.” A. “Definitely.”

Ep 2

C. “He’s a funny guy.” A. Nod

Ep 3 (no change)

A. “Toru with an S.” B. Try to figure it out.

Ep 4

A. “No!” B. “No way!”

Ep 5

C. “I’m doing this for myself.” B. “You’re awful.”

Ep 6

C. “Kurosawa.” A. “No, that’s it.”

Ep 7

A. “Namika, the nurse.” C. “I want to be your number one.”

Ep 8

C. Kiss him. B. “I’m not interested.”

Ep 9

B. “I’ll shake things up.” A. “He’s kind.”

Happy Ending

———————————–

Toru Kurosawa MS2: Falling in Love Happy Ending Walkthrough

Ep 1

“Congrats again.” “Basically.”

Ep 2 (I wanted to call him a lying bastard)

“We’re only coworkers.” “Ask yourself that.”

Ep 3

“Didn’t need it.” “My liaison.”

Ep 4 (You can tell him to shut the hell up lol)

“What’s this mean?” “Fine.”

Ep 5 (no change)

“No thanks.” Ignore him.

Ep 6 (“He’s a liar, but hey”)

“A few things.” ‘Everybody likes him"

Ep 7

“Yeah.” “Don’t lie.”

Ep 8

“I respected you.” Avoid his eyes.

Ep 9

“I’m fine with that.” “You think?”

Happy Ending

[theshamelessmanatee]

Rewatching Criminal Minds 12x03: Garvez edition

Here we go again with another round of shameless ramblings about my nerd children! That nobody asked for!

Also this episode has plenty of garvez moments so follow me as i slowly become garvez trash! And sorry in advance, this is gonna be long!

But i took some hilarious screenshots, they all make the best faces!!!!

There is too much to talk about in this episode! But firstly take a closer look at Luke’s life and his beautiful calves ( I couldn’t take a proper screenshot of them but i know you noticed, you thirsty animals lol)

My precious baby....and his owner lmao

This is their january shot for their calendar lmao...fanservice much?

That wasn’t even necessary. Like, at all.

Not complaining, just saying.

WHY YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS????

Are you asking your best wingman for advices because there’s someone you want to impress at work, nerdy boy? Maybe a blond genius???? omg please stop being like this, it is SO not fair.

Also imagine this exact same scene before his first date with Garcia...guys, GUYS, i am not even 5 minutes in, i can’t be such a mess.

Take a look at this piece of beauty (and the super cute bowl)

But Luke c’mon, i am italian so i am very anal by default about food but even i don’t take this much effort for my fucking lunch, let alone my dog’s (and don’t get me wrong i love my dog she is my wolfy good girl...but still) ((also remind me to post some cute pictures of my dog because she is amazing))

HOW MUCH MORE EXTRA CAN YOU BE????

Why is he always so pleased with himself? What are you damn so happy about? 

We must protect Luke’s smirk guys, it is a national treasure. A gift to the world.

Ouch right in the feels. I am a sucker for big boys being cute with dogs...it is not fair, why do you love to play with my emotions like this Criminal minds???why? WHY?

EMILYYYYYYYYY! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS BAAAAAACK!

Look how beautiful she is! And happy!!!!!!

Also please note that the first thing that Emily says about Luke starts with “Garcia said…”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? THIS SHIP SAILS ITSELF! (and everybody in the team is secretly shipping garvez)

It means that Penelope can’t shut up about Luke, not even with Emily who wasn’t even working anymore with them at the time.

Imagine their weekly phone calls with Penelope bragging about how much she finds Luke annoying and Emily trying to calm her down but juding her so much and rolling her eyes cause “girl you are living in denial, you got it baaaaad”?!

Garcia, love, you are not subtle at all lol

Also the scene where Emily and Luke meet each other for the first time is fucking gold, let me show you:

omg their faces when they spot Luke behind Emily’s back! They are already loving it! You guys are the worst!

Now please notice Emily’s reaction as soon as she realises her mistake lmao my awkward girl

And this is Luke’s fucking reaction to her embarassment.

lmaoooo

This is going to be my reaction image for everything. EVERYTHING.

She is so excited to see Emily again!

How precious!!!!!

Me too baby girl, me too. I feel you.

And this is Luke’s reaction as he sees how much happy Penolope is!

STOP IT DUDE YOU ARE NOT BEING SUBTLE AT ALL

You are both so gone, can you please date already?

And again this is the face he did when Garcia was joking about her need to say something funny and witty before exposing the case…god, you are so gooone, it is not even funny anymore. Also her joke wasn’t THAT funny lmao

You see what i meant before? He is always so fond and happy, he is such a cute boy.

I love their relationship....my babies! Guys i am a mess i am so fond of them.

Anyway, let’s go on

“... and you are a cat person” 

Look how AFFRONTED she is lmao

she is the epitome of “How dare you Luke Alvez???? calling me out like that??? who do you think you are? I was here wanting to piss in the woods and hating every minute of it and complaining about stake outs and i feel so attacked right now”

LMAO

Also A+ Luke for profiling your future boss (you were spot on...but still dude control yourself)

And guys there was a big revelation about Luke’s past service in Iraq. 

I know this is gonna bite us in the ass. We are gonna suffer for this amazing boy.

ANYWAY This is the face he did after realizing the 2 teenagers they just busted were going to have sex in the truck...until you cockblocked them.

lmao dude why are you always so fond and happy???? you just enjoy life to the fullest, you precious baby

“Oh newbie, already sent.”

Ok, let’s talk about this.

Why did she have to pick on him? She had been the epitome of professionalism till that moment...why????why???WHY?!

It’s like you can’t control yourself, baby girl

Someone has a cruuuuushhhhhh

I would love to be arrested by these two every day...just saying

Anybody feels me?

Luke makes always the best kind of faces.

This one comes from watching Garcia ramblings about her alcohol intake lol

Control yourself girl, he wasn’t even saying anything. Can you at least try to not be a mess around him?

You are not subtle at all, dudette.

Also he is loving every second of it lmao 

(i couldn’t take a clear shot because it was so fast but Emily and JJ’s faces were totally exasperated by her antics lmao)

“I don’t want to feel your Judgy Mc Judgerson look on me as i sip my mai tai”

Yes baby girl, pick on him some more, i am enjoying this too much.

Also i am sure you totally hate feeling his look on you lmao *wink wink*

And this is Garcia bitching about Luke not coming with them because “there’s a certain Roxy involved”

lmao she was sooooo jealous of her before knowing she is actually his dog!

Your crush is showing Penelope!!!!!

JJ is like “wtf Garcia stop being such a baby and ask him out, ffs”

Also please note that the episode ends with this quote: “Three things can’t be hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth” just after Luke asks Emily to keep the details about his service in Iraq a secret from everybody else.

....I have a bad feeling about this guys. His past is gonna bite us all in the ass in the current season. We are gonna suffer, i can feel it already

[qiaoyifan-fan]

imagine being a reporter and trying to interview Team Happy like ???? how are you supposed to get a good interview like- you've heard the horror stories from your veteran reporters about how terrible it is to interview Team Happy but the boss lady brags so much about her team- they can't be that bad??? you're fresh and new and believe you can do something,,,, and you end up being so wrong straight off the bat one of the team members is trying to avoid you, when you have your eye off of him for a second he's gone like some sort of ninja, and when you somehow manage to approach him he just gives you a blank stare and walks away you decide to interview the three gods- one of them a former god, anyways, but immediately regret it- one of them uses language so dirty you are NOT going to put this into an interview, one of them with sparkling eyes- not the good kind, but the kind that makes you paranoid thinking what the heck this person did- Who looks like they're expecting you to do something (you're a bit to scared to find out what) and FINALLY- the person you were the most curious about, but instead of the good interview you expected, you find the most shameless person alive. immediately running away to- YESSSS the two beauties of Glory, they would definitely allow a nice interview- never mind one is actually very terrifying (absolutely beautiful but terrifying) and the other obviously very skilled and experienced at changing the subject to something you could care less about. you don't mind talking about that new drama that came out the other week but you came here for an interview- this would get you nowhere one member actually approaches you- he appears calm and refined- he's got the glasses and neat hair and good posture (and he's handsome), so you believe that you can finally get a proper interview but instead this guy takes literally every chance he has to roast you- what is his problem??? you just want to finally get an interview goddammit a glass of water is handed to you- you look up and see a literal angel??? like??? there are actual sunbeams coming out of this guys smile??? you want to cry??? but when you finally sit down to get to the interview some ridiculously tall blonde dude comes barging in singing about zodiac signs- and is that some poor kid being dragged by him like a sack of potatoes??? you just couldn't deal with Team Happy- Team Happy is crazy

[aleatoryalarmalligator]

Life Story - Part 34

The Christmas of 2003. My Uncle Bob and Aunt Marty came from Florida to visit the family. Because of the guests, everyone is in a good mood. And I can't necessarily be out getting bad grades or talking to boys so my father has no animosity towards me for those two weeks. Everyone is more or less in positive Christmas cheer. I really don't remember much of what I got that Christmas, other than I was very happy with it. Perhaps I was living in the endorphin high of thinking back on all the positive exchanges between Zack and I. I was being eaten alive by this good kind of stress that is associated with being in love. It hurts. It's all consuming. You can do painful physical tasks without pain or complaint. Temporarily, everything you do seems to have purpose, but at the same time nothing makes any sense at all. There is nothing you can do with it. It's simply there. And it can actually get in the way of actually living if you let it. I could not wait to go back to school to see him.

The only thing I do remember getting that Christmas, is my father for some strange reason decided to buy me this Guns n' Roses music video DVD. Why he bought me this I don't really know. I told him I didn't like Guns n' Roses. He himself never cared too much for Guns n' Roses either. I think he bought me this completely random unneeded gift because he had spent the last year associating me with my eldest sister Maria, who actually was out doing the drugs and having all the sex at my age. Her young wild years had been during the time of Guns n' Roses. She had the big hair, this sort of snotty almost L.A. Cheesy 80's teenage attitude. When my father bought me the DVD, I was thankful, and I even watched all the silly music videos, mostly I remember watching Axl walking down a dark hot looking sidewalk with his bandanna. Later, my father apologized for having gotten me that DVD. He said he had no idea what had gone through his mind when he was picking out gifts in the store.

I got this 50$ Hastings gift card (RIP), and I was so stoked. Sarah had also received some money and we made plans to go into Lewiston (bigger town 45 miles west) together and go shopping. Lewiston doesn't snow much, but it was dry and cold. There was snow on the surrounding valley hills. I remember walking in to the store and seeing all these possibilities that I hadn't really noticed before. It was probably the first time I ever took a real interest in what Hastings had to offer, at least the book or music sections. Previous to this, the only thing I ever had truly enjoyed about going to Hastings was that back in the 90's, I used to get over dubbed obscure foreign fantasy movies from the 80's and B movies for kids. A lot of movies from Moonbeam entertainment. After searching around for some time, I found the new White Stripes album, Elephant. I also found and purchased the biography of Kurt Cobain's, 'Heavier Than Heaven'. I read it over the course of that winter break, and I felt rather cool about it. Now I for sure knew more than anyone else did about Kurt Cobain.

After that, we went to the Lewiston mall, not a very big or good mall, but we were with Sarah's grandma Tutu, and we had to go to a bunch of old lady oriented stores that sold get well cards and soap and old lady jewelry. As we were walking down the mall absently, when suddenly I saw someone sitting at a bench back turned. It was unmistakable who it was, an all too familiar hunch and an all too familiar flannel, but I couldn't believe it. Zack was sitting there on the bench. I walked passed him, and we stopped and said hi. I didn't want to act as pleased as I was, so I swallowed it up. He was with his sister and some visiting cousins. He looked shocked and happy to see me as well. At some point we sat at the A&W, and he, his sister and his cousins were sitting behind us. He and I began throwing things back and forth. His sister and cousins seemed slightly alarmed. I was magical and fun, and I of course could not help but see this as a huge sign. It really did seem to me like the universe wanted us to meet. I could never explain it, but there were just so many coincidences.

I ended up listening to The White Stripes 'Elephant' over and over again. Up to that point, I had to say, it was my favorite album of all time. My father hated it. He would come into my room and accused Jack White of being a talentless guitarist. He made it out to be some aggressive juvinile noise album with no melody. He made out The White Stripes like they were a hardcore punk group, or like Black Flag or something. Later on, after he read reviews, he suddenly became highly interested in Jack White, particularly after the documentary, It Might Get Loud. It was kind of unfair, but it happens from time to time. Particular with front men and guitarists. They become icons for older middle class white dudes who want to start being musicians and think of themselves as 'bluesy'. They always end up spending a bunch of money on P.A equipment and specialty guitars and such.

Most of the time they don't really progress too much as guitarists. For them, it's more about what they can buy than it is what they can do. They always latch on to either Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix, a number of various blues musicians, and most importantly, The Who. You can find these men in almost every guitar shop across the USA. They are generally dentists or real estate agents. Some of them are retired. They are bored. Their wives pretend to get into it as well, but actually they only like a few of the love songs and otherwise don't care. This sounds as though I am demonizing this, and it's really not the worst thing someone can do. There is nothing really wrong with it, only older middle class white people (if someone tries to tell me I am being racist against whites I am going to laugh) are the most universally typical group of people. If you don't believe me, you have never worked in the service industry. I really don't want to come off like I am discouraging artistic endeavors either. But it's funny to me because it's so universally the same. All these men are identical in my perspective.

Anyway, I mention these sorts of fellows because I feel like this crowd of people kind of took Jack White and claimed him as their own. And yeah, I know these sorts of people are not terrible, deep deep down they as individuals they are intricate human beings with their own unique qualities, our economy depends on their bored mindless spending habits. But they ruin everything. They just do. When they get into music, they take on music like it's an Olympic event. They think the fastest musicians are the best, or the oldest. They are looking for some kind of authenticity that they lost five years into their practicing medicine or whatever. They try to be seen at the right concerts. They are shameless posers. They brag about what they own. They have to essentially be told what to like. When The White Stripes were wholly a thing unto themselves and appealed to minimalism, childhood nostalgia, and abstract perspective they really just took the Jack White is an acclaimed guitarist with blues influence. Meg was a minimalist drummer, and these guys are all vaguely sexist and skeptical if they should like female musicians so she gets ignored.

My father later in time kind of became one of these older people who want to be cool in time, and he took Jack White and made it seem really uncool. He went from complaining about The White Stripes like they were an example of what's wrong with young folk these days to using it as a prop to seem edgy himself. And of course, he never really listened to it. But he would brag to other people like he did.

I have digressed, and should get back to what I was saying. As I go along in my life story, I am probably going to here and there explain my take on slightly off subjects simply because as I got older I formed more personal opinions about the world. It shapes the story to a degree.

There was a slumber party at Ava's that winter break. We invited Teal, whom I still didn't really trust. She was Ava's friend, not mine. And as I have stated before, she shoved me hard in 6th grade, and there was something really revealing about that shove. I didn't think she was a nice person. Basically, all of us sat around (I mostly just listened), and Teal and Samantha talked about their sex lives. Teal had slept with her babysitter, which I thought was kind of disturbing and weird. Her mom had trusted this high school guy to watch Teal as a junior high school student, and this insignificant dopy foolish creep had covered Teal's naked body with whipped cream and licked it off. I remember this story very vividly. This guy was super dull. I felt like Teal liked him on the grounds that he was older than her. And I just could not imagine letting his greasy boring face near me. Of course, that is just me.

At some point in the night, my friends all put on this Andrew WK song and started dancing. I liked Andrew WK, but dancing seemed weird to me. I was starting to notice group psychology a little more. Sarah and Samantha didn't want to do it, but they felt they had to. Teal and Ava were genuinely into it, and everyone was trying to impress Teal. I decided I didn't want to dance. They ended up putting on some boy band music on and I told them with honesty that I didn't want to dance. I told them I didn't like the songs. I wasn't like rude about it, and I wasn't trying to judge them. I just felt like it was 50% phony. Sarah later admitted that it was, and she was confused as to why she danced. And maybe to a certain extent, Zack labeling me as the 'anticonformist' was beginning to get to my head just a little. I was beginning to live up to the hype.

My Uncle Bob had bought us kids the movie 'Spirited Away' for Christmas. It was really good and I ended up watching it frequently. But then Ava came over, and she became this whole other level of obsessed with that movie. She ended up coming to my house off and on from winter break to Februrary just to watch Spirited Away. She talked about how she was the main character Chio, and how Tyeson was the character Haku – none of which makes any sense at all – particularly Tyeson who was mostly stoned at all times and had little ambition or personality to speak of. And I didn't want to address it, but Ava reminded me of Noface when he was manically creating gold more than anyone in the movie. When she went to sleep I had to tip toe over her and turn the television off, and eventually I got tired of watching this movie over and over again with her, but would do it anyway to be nice.

Eventually Christmas break ended, and we were back in school. My uncle and aunt went home. Ava was acting spongtaneous and crazy. She seemed desperate and moody. She had hoped that Tyeson would come back for the second semester, but he never really did. She was in despair. Sarah had just bought herself a lot of Him and CKY merchandise, but other than that, we were all back in the frying pan.

I mentioned Billy Arnett a while ago. He was the guy that I often saw in detention, whom all the girls thought was super hot. By age 18, he had slept with well over 50 girls, not just in our town, but in neighboring ones as well. I really didn't like him because he was starting to take advantage of girls who were way too young for him, and the only thing that stopped me from being outwardly against him as a person was the sad fact that Zack and him were buddies. But a few of the more popular girls in my class were obsessed with him. I guess these two girls who were already enemies both wanted to fuck him, and try to be the girl that could tame the bad boy, as if that were something anyone could ever do. Billy of course didn't care, so long as he was getting laid. He thought these fights were hilarious and he didn't take any of these young girls seriously. There was some kind of cold-war style mutually assured destruction realization between these two girls, Erica and Amanda. One little move would make the whole thing blow up.

Ava, having watched this whole fight go down from afar, decided to see what would happen if she wrote in black sharpie “Erica is a fucking slut who fucked Billy Arnett” in the bathroom stalls. This ended up causing Erica to think that Amanda wrote it. Amanda of course was innocent, but Erica decided to confront her on it, and this all escalated into a fist fight of scratching and punching and physically attacking one another in the girl's locker rooms. All for the love of stupid Billy who didn't even bother to brush his teeth. Meanwhile, Ava and I sat on the bench out in the gym – though we didn't actually see the fight, we watched them both have to be physically separated. It was 100%. I know that sounds bad – it really isn't in keeping with my feminist values, but both of these girls were stuck up, and pretentiously full of themselves and after being in their class for the last eight and a half years, it felt fun to watch this happen. And I hadn't done it personally. It was all Ava. Besides, the two of them ended up becoming friends because of the incident, so I don't feel too badly.

I ended up doing something similarly a few months later. I wrote YOU WILL DIE SOON 666!!! on a sheet of paper, opened up someone's locker – I didn't know who's, and put it in. It ended up going to this ultra sweet girl named Britney. She was one of the few people who was both popular, and truly a wonderful kind human being. She was always nice to everyone equally and didn't judge other people at all. When she opened her locker and saw what was written, she became frightened that someone was after her. And everyone was baffled. Who would ever want to come after Britney? I felt really guilty. I would say sorry today, but that wasn't how I responded then. I just shut my mouth and looked down at my desk as everyone spoke about it for the rest of the year.

I ended up getting kicked out of math class. My math teacher was named Mrs. Rush. She lost it. As is to be expected, it was the first year of alebra, and I was so confused by this part of the years as to what was being taught. I felt like the things you learned one day were contradicted by the lesson of the next, and I could not follow it. I have always needed more time with math. I can't digest a lesson that quickly. There was this rush, and for whatever reason, I simply could not follow even if I had the right attitude. They might has well have been speaking Latin for the entire hour of math. I didn't do my homework ever anymore. I used to stress about it, but now I didn't see the need to stress if the outcome would be the same regardless if I stressed out or if I didn't. Which teachers hate this attitude. I tried in the beginning, and then I simply stopped. I would instead look out the window and brush my hair with my fingers and think about Zack, and song lyrics and daydream about the future. It was on such a day that Mrs. Rush asked me a question abruptly in class. I didn't even know what she had said, let alone the answer. I had been very deep in thought, a strand of my long curly brown hair was in my hands. She flew into a rage. She called me a lazy worthless human being and she demanded I follow her to the office, she was screaming at me the whole time, I don't remember what. She told me I was never allowed in her classroom again.

I was taken into the office, and she yelled at the office woman, and the counselor telling them I was absolutely under no circumstances allowed to be in her classroom ever again. I was a little besides myself, but a little proud in a way. Zack had also been kicked out of math class after all, and now was taking a really dumbed down math class called practical math. I was hoping they would put me in there instead with him. The office women didn't know what to do with me. They had me sit in a chair. The next day I came to the office at that time and asked them what I should do instead of math, and they told me that I had no choice but to go to math class anyway. So I sheepishly went back to Mrs. Rush's class. She glared at me, but said nothing. Perhaps the principal had shot down her ambitions to have me sent somewhere else.

And to be fair to her, I was a miserable student. I really was. I think she was a small minded judgmental woman, but she was passionate about mathematics. More than anyone else I have ever met. I really don't understand that passion fully, but I have to respect it for what it is. She knew a great deal more about things I have never had the discipline to sit down and learn. I do imagine it was hard to have someone like me in her class, essentially disrespecting everything she was passionate about and undermining her determination to teach. And it had to seem dumb, me twirling my hair with hearts for eyes looking out the window all lobotomized by petty teenage fantasies of romance and rebellion against 'the system'. The again, she was getting paid. And she never did anything when she saw I had been beaten by my dad. Cognitive dissonance kicked in and she decided that I deserved it, whatever it was that had happened.

And she got her revenge. Three months later, nearing the end of the school year she had worn this very boring tan pant suit type outfit, and one of the girls in my class complimented her attire. She gushed and started talking about how it looked good on her because she had a certain body type. I wasn't really paying attention to this conversation because it was boring to me, but she then had started to talk about how some women don't look good in pantsuits and should never ever wear them. She then told me to stand up. I didn't really register that this was connected in any way to her conversation, and thought it had to be something more straight forward. I stood up confused. She then started pointing out what was wrong with my body piece by piece, and why I could never wear a whole bunch of different kinds of outfits that she could wear. I realized eventually that she was standing me up in front of the class to essentially point out that I was chunky. She didn't say I was fat, but that was essentially what she was getting at. I sat down, more baffled than anything. It was extremely unprofessional and inappropriate. Good student or no.

Mrs. Rush ended up dying of lung cancer three years later. She smoked like a chimney and it eventually got to her. The town had a huge fund raising thing, and they raised the 120,000$ needed for this operation that had a chance of saving her life, but then she died a week later, and the money went to another person. I was sad about it. She wasn't a bad woman, and despite our problems she didn't deserve death. My father laughed and called it karma – having heard eventually some of the things she said and did. It is one of the many things I don't really like about him, that kind of dumb reactionary bullshit. I knew she also had a very good side. Her husband was a very friendly and warm person, and you could tell they were very much in love. And at one point the next year she had been teaching a class that Sarah was in, and she had a very strange younger girl in her class that was easy to bully, that she kind of assisted the other students at picking on in the class room. Sarah actually went up to her desk after class and told her that she was tired of the bullying and felt that Mrs. Rush herself was provoking it. Mrs. Rush actually listened to what Sarah had to say, and seemed genuinely concerned, having not even realized her own behavior. It isn't actually an excuse, but there is something to be said for a person who is willing to take criticism and learn from their mistakes.

One day in mid January – I actually think it was January 17th, the day was the day to end all days and that date is forever carved into the aged tree trunk of my memory chamber. Zack had taken me aside after FFA, the sky overcast and grey, the outside air brisk, and other than the river the world was very silent, and he had told me that he thought I was a very special person. He looked me in the eyes and said 'You are a very special person Renee'. He took me aside and told me he really really did love me. I was dear to him. And I didn't react, I don't think I could. I was shaking and in shock. And I had to get to my next class.

I honestly would react so differently now, that it hard for me to put myself in the shoes of someone who simply wouldn't react to this. This would not be a situation that would come up now, but if something like this happened to the person I am now, I would have suggested we skip the rest of class and talk by the river. And I would have figured it out that day. Either he loves me and we should date, or he doesn't love me like that and we don't. I now have this internal person who would know how to naturally be in those shoes. But then, I feel like a part of me that should have been there was a blank slate. Maybe I really had no self esteem, or it had been wiped away by my upbringing, a sort of confience that most everyone has that I don't. Or maybe I am naturally someone with a lot of voids in my personality. I think all three are the case.

I was an empty glass. I hadn't been told I was loved in years. I hadn't felt loved for years. I had become so accustomed to being the bottomfeeder that it didn't even hurt anymore. It was hard for me to accept that someone could love me. Each time he stated it, a part of me felt like it was internally being made whole again by an act of magic. Like I was being put back together better than I had been before. I was getting very close to being emotionally able to react, the glass was close to being full, but it was taking me some time still.

I also had no experience with boys really to speak of, outside of throwing things at them and saying flirtation comebacks. If he tried to kiss me and I totally messed up, which would be likely, then what then? And maybe I lacked the courage to reach out. It's hard to be vulnerable, and I had a lot to lose. A lot of my self esteem rode entirely on his daily encouragement. He really was the only thing in the world I cared about. If I did reach back, what if he realized it had been a mistake all along, and I might lose the one thing in life I cared about. I could not afford to lose him for good.

I tried to tell my friends about it. But they didn't really get it. They took it as a typical reporting, even though the situation was a little different than the others. Like, it was practically a confession. After lunch, we were indoors in the gym watching various sport games being played on the gym floor by oblivious students a million light years away from my emotional state. Zack came up to me, and he sat right next to me. He was acting very strangely, and I didn't know what he was doing. He scooted up so close to me he was practically sitting on me, and he grabbed my head. And he began singing 'Creep' by Radiohead in my ear. It was really kind of sporadic and crazy, and hard to explain. It was awkward and atypical, but that had never been anything to stop Zack. I just sort of melted. My friends all looked baffled. I tried to resist him at first, but then just gave in and let go of my ego entirely. He really was kind of off key a bit in his singing, but it didn't matter either. Eventually I just closed my eyes.

Probably for the first time since some doctor had pulled me of my mom's stomach, I felt at peace. I have ASMR so it had a strong affect on me. It's the kind of peace I fully expect at death. I leaned on him and just stopped even worrying about anything. I could have died right then, and the peace I felt would have made it worth it. He finished singing and I was dazed. I couldn't even tell where I was anymore. The whole world around me looked like a new place. The colors had changed and everything. Everything was new again. I was a new person. I was just about to tell him I loved him back. This was it, and I was mustering the right way to say it. I heard him distantly in the outside world of my thoughts saying to Ava that he could tell that I really did love him – as I am sure I was at this point concealing absolutely nothing. And I was about to tell him how I felt and everything at that moment, but then the bell rang and he walked away. I felt like putty and I was unable to reach him. I decided I would tell him how I felt the next day.

But the next day he didn't come to school. Or the next day, or the next. He was gone. My stomach felt sick. Where was he? Why was he gone? Did this have something to do with me? During this time, Ava acted very annoyed with me. Everyone was slightly annoyed with me, I was pining pathetically, barely able to make it through my day without him. Nothing else in the world was real to me. Was it over before it even began? He was gone for two and a half weeks, and there was never a clear definition other than his father came into the office stating that Zack was sick on day three of his absence. How could this happen?

It was around this time that everyone in my class was signing up for driver's ed. It was something I needed to go to, but the idea of driving seemed daunting and unrealistic to me at the time. I didn't really care if I went or not. Nobody really asked me about it either. I ignored all the papers that got passed around, or the office lady talking over the intercom that it was our last day to sign up. It just didn't seem real to me at all. It was all part of that fake world out there that demanded I know things and do things. All that was real was Zack's blue eyes. And he was somehow gone. Because of my drunken haze, and my unclear judgment, I never ended up signing up for driver ed. And I didn't end up learning to drive that year. Or the next, or the next, or the next. And to this day, this is why I don't have a license and can't really drive. Sure, I can turn on a car. I have even driven rural roads of Idaho, which is fairly easy. But other than that, I don't really know. All because Zack sang Creep by Radiohead to me in my ear and I lost my mind.

PART 33 - http://tinyurl.com/y87449dz

PART 32 - http://tinyurl.com/ycetanep

PART 31 - http://tinyurl.com/yae3o4rd

PART 30 - http://tinyurl.com/ybht9aul

PART 29 - http://tinyurl.com/ybfcr9j2

PART 28 - http://tinyurl.com/yagdlo47

PART 27 - http://tinyurl.com/ydcj5fgf

PART 26 - http://tinyurl.com/y73nvl73

PART 25 -  http://tinyurl.com/y6v6pgoj

PART 24 - http://tinyurl.com/ycak5d8r

PART 23 - http://tinyurl.com/yac6sk3g

PART 22 -  http://tinyurl.com/yat6cfnw

PART 21 -  http://tinyurl.com/y783egno

PART 20 - http://tinyurl.com/y8jskymt

PART 19 - http://tinyurl.com/rfhbms8

PART 18 - http://tinyurl.com/ycrznrwk

PART 17 - http://tinyurl.com/y77unlng

PART 16 - http://tinyurl.com/yadpsv8c

PART 15 - http://tinyurl.com/yb3lt6k5

PART 14 - http://tinyurl.com/yb4cfedq

PART 13 - http://tinyurl.com/yalanq9s

PART 12 - http://tinyurl.com/yc79mw94

PART 11 - http://tinyurl.com/yc9qhj84

PART 10 - http://tinyurl.com/yb734w24

PART 9 - http://tinyurl.com/yc2t6vfw  

PART 8 - http://tinyurl.com/ybl37utq

PART 7 - http://tinyurl.com/ybvo283g

PART 6 - http://tinyurl.com/kbc9dwu

PART 5 - http://tinyurl.com/msnz4am

PART 4 - http://tinyurl.com/k9x8esg

PART 3 - http://tinyurl.com/mwp9atx

PART 2 - http://tinyurl.com/lbt6xq2

PART 1 - http://tinyurl.com/l8xbvg8

[sonicmega]

Reflecting on Breath of the Wild’s VO Process

**WARNING: VERY LONG POST AHEAD**

Breath of the Wild is a very special project to me - and Revali in particular an incredibly special character - but it actually has nothing at all to do with the fame of the game or the worldwide recognition of the brand. It's special because nearly every single milestone, from the audition to the final recording session, either taught me something about myself or implemented one of the many many lessons we've been taught time and time again at panels and workshops but probably don't see in action very often.

This is going to read more like an essay than a stream of consciousness, but I feel this will really help me get across the individual facets of the Breath of the Wild 'experience' that went far and beyond anything I have ever gone through before for a voiceover booking. I hope you'll understand that this is meant to be a way for me to reflect on an incredible journey, and not anything intended to try and 'upsell' how special said journey was for bragging rights.

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1) The audition for BotW initially came not from the casting director himself, but from a CLIENT FRIEND the director had from a studio I had done previous work for. The owner of said studio contacted various talent saying that "a fellow client is looking for interested talent for an audition, please email _____ for more information", but otherwise had NO involvement in the actual project at all.

That was it. The door of opportunity for this began not with an intense workshop, or a circle of inside friends making referrals, but with a simple email from a partner studio saying "email this person and send samples if you would like to be considered to receive sides". Not a single detail about the project was included in that email, but I still had to make the choice to dive into that deep end and find out what waited ahead.

This means that the door of opportunity I had for this project came about strictly as a result of my connection network - a recording company I've worked with for YEARS was the source of the initial email connecting me to this brand new person/studio branch, even though they were never involved with the actual game. This is why it's so integral to maintain connections with all your peers and clients - you have no idea where that next opportunity is going to start.

*

2) Auditioning for the characters was a little more difficult because, as many of you would imagine, pretty much everything was codenamed or altered so as not to make it obvious what the project was for. Granted, it was still easy to find those 1 or 2 sides that I KNEW were right up my alley in terms of pitch and cadence, but even after knocking them out I still had one more to choose for my audition and wanted to maximize the # of shots I got to take.

Believe it or not, I was the one who went to my mentor and said "I really want to read for (Deku Tree)", even though he initially wasn't interested and/or wasn't fully convinced that I could pull off a realistic approach to the character (and for good reason; low-pitch performances have been a weak point of mine for a long time). But I wanted to draw from the many times I've played 'old and whimsical grandfathers/wizards' and finally showcase it to someone in the industry.

So with enough prodding we worked together to refine it by adding elements of my STRENGTHS to what I already had developed; instead of being straight up baritone, I was now slightly younger, but breathy and relaxed in my pacing. Wide-open mouth movements and deep breaths naturally deepened the voice without me having to force my range lower into my throat. I was developing a character from the ground up and making it into something I could present, and the results were obvious; the casting director *could not believe* that "that voice" was coming out of MY face, to the extent that he had the visiting company president listen in as a witness confirmation.

This is why you have to look at key terms in audition sides, and why "making it your own" is a LEGITIMATE approach to surprising studios and directors with options they didn't know were possible. With a few exceptions, don't look at a character and just determine "I can't do this" - try to at least dissect them into elements you're familiar with, and figure out how you can take what you know and apply it to what they're looking for.

*

3) When I got the callback for BotW, I was smack-dab in the middle of a 3-week vacation to visit Ajai, back while she still lived in Michigan. They had a specific date planned for these callbacks that couldn't be adjusted, and it was in approximately 3 days from the call - a whole half-week before I would have been flying home anyway. Changing my flight meant not only ending a visit that my fiancee had been waiting for SINCE SEPTEMBER, but also a brand new flight ticket (at full-price), and not even a guarantee of the role since this was strictly a callback audition.

I still went. Even without having absolute certainty of the real project name (I had a fairly good hunch at this point), I still went. I ate the cost and chased the chance, because I was not willing to risk it on the alternative option of a remote audition from my old laptop vs. a live in-studio option with feedback and professional-level quality.

I don't know if I still would have booked it via the remote audition, but I know I never would have wanted to risk it anyway. This was one of the moments where ALL those times Tony Oliver said "If you'd rather be doing anything else, go do that instead" actually became a defining factor in my decision; I *wanted* this, wanted it so bad I was willing to throw down several hundred dollars just to better my chances at leaving a great impression. To be honest, I think that decision also said to the director that I was just as committed as he was to trying to create a great production, and that if cast he could trust we would be in it together beyond a basic Talent-Role obligation.

This is why being a voiceover artist sometimes means making sacrifices without a promise of a reward; it's our version of "dressing for the job you want", just a lot more expensive.

*

4) If Deku Tree was the example of the character I thought would be difficult but actually turned out to be quite easy to do consistently....Revali was the reverse. Revali was the character I expected would soar (lol) with flying colors, who I had developed an entire personality and quirks for before I even stepped foot into his first studio session...but instead gave me immense amounts of trouble and self-doubt.

The problem was that even though I DID have an extremely bold/solid character choice for him going into the studio, the people in charge (and I mean The Big Guys) already had very specific ideas in mind for what they wanted - ideas that did not mesh with my own creation. I went from having a complete character already penned out, to having to scrap nearly every detail of my creation and hang on the word of the director for guidelines on what to do. I was at Square 1 and trying so, so hard to meet what was requested of me because I love Revali as a character more than any other role I have ever played, and I didn't want to lose him.

I actually cried to my mentor over the phone during the middle of that first session while on a break period from the recording; I was so distraught at the differences between what I had in mind and what I was being asked to do that I wasn't sure if I could even accommodate the director's wishes... if I was going to give the character the kind of performance I knew he deserved and WANTED him to have. I wanted Revali to be the best he could possibly be, and I wasn't even sure if I could trust myself to accomplish that even though I felt like no one else could be more passionate about him.

But I learned from this. I learned firsthand that even the best-laid plans can go to waste, and I had to go back into this session ready to be an "actor" in the truest sense - someone who creates magic out of bits and pieces, regardless of whether they have 5 days to prepare or 5 minutes. I learned that to give Revali the kind of performance he deserved, I had to put aside all those negative thoughts and emotions hindering me from being able to focus and PLAY, stop worrying about all the ways I could fail, and work with my director as a teammate while trusting that he - more than anyone else - genuinely wants to see me succeed. I needed this kind of reality check to prepare me for my future in the industry, and no matter how frustrating Ravioli Bird was to tackle I am so grateful that I could experience that frustration over a character I refused to ever give up on.

This is why it's important to have a sense of self-drive and a real desire to improve; no one can help you succeed if even you give up on yourself.

*

5) The funniest part about Revali was that it wasn't just my audition that helped land the role (it was still the biggest portion by far, don't get me wrong), but also my ability to be a massive shameless fanboy. According to the director, I literally could not contain myself from widening my eyes and giving out small squees of excitement every time he showed up on a sample clip, not unlike a young child getting their first real look at Disney World's Magic Kingdom Castle. Somehow, my overjoyed noises had been shared directly with individuals over at a different studio who plated a part in determining the final cast. It turned out that similar to XSEED, the board members were very interested in having cast members who were as passionate about their product as they themselves needed to be. For them, my passion was the 'oomph' and extra tang that took an audition from Good to Great.

This is why it's important to remember that it's OKAY to be excited and/or proud about the work you do as a voice actor; this profession is supposed to be fun. It's incredible, it's unique, and we get to have some of the coolest adventures ever while being paid for the privilege to do so. Sometimes letting our inner geeks show can be a great thing, as long as it's contained within a professional context.

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Regardless of how much work went into this entire experience for me, I do not expect it to be undeniable evidence that my end-result was perfect, or even subjectively 'good'. I do not expect everyone to be a fan of it, and if you thought the character fell short THAT'S STILL OKAY; so many different elements went into the delivery of each line, the atmosphere of each scene, that my performances were as much a result of the client's wishes and specific demands as they were my own spices added to the recording soup.

But there is absolutely no doubt - not a single shred of evidence otherwise - that I worked incredibly hard on this. Every single step of this project was a new challenge for me to meet or a brand new obstacle I hadn't really faced before but now needed to address and move beyond in order to do what I needed to do. I can be super critical of myself sometimes (all the time), but there is not a moment in my mind where I question whether or not I put my heart and soul into this (Current # of Times I Cried Over Revali currently sits at 3).

Because I put that effort in, and because I did the ABSOLUTE BEST I COULD in every moment of my involvement with this project, I can be proud. I AM proud. I am proud of what I accomplished even if someone comes along and says "TBH this makes the CDi games sound better". I am proud that I threw risk to the wind and put myself out there without fear of rejection just out of sheer desire to be a part of this, and now I'm a permanent part of the Zelda legacy for it.

This entire process was nothing short of an adventure in every sense you can think of. But even as this project finally closes up, my voiceover adventure continues, perhaps now even grander and with more opportunities than ever before.

Thank You for becoming a part of it, however big or small your role, and I hope that no matter what your passion is you find the chance to have an adventure like this for yourself.

[mixtapekings]

Listen Review of Future’s ‘High Off Life’ by djbooth.net

Future’s ‘High Off Life’ is a familiar journey through a terrain of toxic lust, sleepless paranoia, wealthy boasts, and deep-seated trauma.

Hip-hop recognizes Future, born Nayvadius Wilburn, as a multi-Platinum, GRAMMY-winning trendsetter who doesn’t follow anyone’s rules but his own. Instead of working inside the industry, Future works around it, doing as he pleases from a mountain top built upon his tireless work ethic. Consistency, as much as talent, made him into a superstar.

So it should come as no surprise that Future decided to release his eighth studio album, High Off Life, during a pandemic. While some of his peers are waiting until the storm passes, Future moves forward, releasing new music as if unphased by the world’s tragic predicament. With features from Young Thug, Lil Uzi Vert, Drake, DaBaby, and more, High Off Life is the biggest release of the week, but will it be the best?

In usual 1-Listen album review fashion, the rules are the same: no skipping, no fast-forwarding, no rewinding, and no stopping. Each song will receive my gut reaction from start to finish.

1. “Trapped In The Sun”

The atmosphere feels like the beginning of an epic tale of a man turned monster. “That yellow Lambo outside.” Boss talk. Future makes trap music sound like Greek mythology. The bounce is infectious. The production could score a remake of Scarface. Brags on top of brags. Future is a super-villain, and he does not hide it. Future is in his mixtape bag. He has mastered “Former drug dealer who made it out of that life” lyricism, but I heard this story before. Strong start. Will revisit.

2. “HiTek Tek”

Let’s see where he goes. Banger! ATL Jacob tag! The bass would devour a weaker rapper. Future is like a toxic Energizer Bunny who loves any beat that makes him sound like he’s in the center of chaos. “I started off po, but not no mo.” He’s flexing like the rich rapper that he is. A lot of tricks. Future still finds the fun in rap. ATL Jacob is a beast. This song is full of sound effects. I laughed at him bragging about having the Glock on him while sitting courtside. Why sir? Why do you have that on you? The production reminds me of What A Time To Be Alive. This one is good.

3. “Touch The Sky”

Southside production. This is good. “Off the top rope, Andre the Giant.” Future is full of wealthy stunts. Is he one of the best braggers in rap? [Editor’s Note: Yes.] I’m loving this. “I can tell she got a man by the way she text me, nigga.” This man is a monster. “I perform with my drum” is a robust double entendre. Yeah, we have a keeper. I’m a sucker for Future and Southside collabs. These two are mad scientists wreaking havoc. Doctor Robotnik meets Shadow the Hedgehog. Future is the Shadow of hip-hop, and Drake is his Sonic.

4. “Solitaries” feat. Travis Scott

How many collabs does Future have with Travis? Wheezy tag! Shouts to Lil Wayne, lol. Future sounds lively. This man just said, “Coronavirus diamonds you can catch the flu.” Future is his name, outlandish is his language. Travis is getting to it. Not mad, but not in love either. I would have loved it on Travis’ Birds in the Trap Sing McKnight. Skip.

5. “Ridin Strikes”

Every Future album is a reminder that he’s richer than you. “Ridin Strikes” sounds like you should play it in a tank. He’s getting some bars off. My only issue with Future is, the subject matter starts to get stale. He overstuffs his album to the point where I crave a change. Can he hear my thoughts? The beat just switched. A news clip. Oh, this is something. I would watch Future in a bank robber movie. Give him a role like T.I in Takers. Alright, I’ll keep this one.

6. “One of My”

A simple build-up. He’s taking his time with this one. Yep! His vocal texture is the perfect tone for a ghost story. “One of my niggas ain’t got no soul.” YEP! We have the one. Future hangs out with some terrible guys. I wish we had a way of seeing a person’s karma. If Future lives his raps, I know his karma is in dangerous reds. I wish this were the intro. Imagine a Future styled GKMC; that was probably Monster. “One of my niggas ain’t got no soul” is the spookiest lyric of 2020.

7. “Posted With My Demons”

This beat sounds like a bottomless pit of despair. This is not what Tory Lanez meant by Demon Time. Future jumps on haunted beats and tells you about the monsters underneath your bed. High Off Life has been mostly about his past trails and his present riches. “All this dope I sold.” There’s a lot of darkness in this man’s heart. He looks like such a wholesome man. “If the streets don’t kill you first, it will make you strong.” Future makes trap music; real trap music; music that represents the inescapable cycle of darkness that will corrupt saints and cause angels to fall from heaven. Keeper.

8. “Hard To Choose One”

If you like trap Future, this album is for you. Future’s delivery sounds slower than usual. I wonder if that’s because Lil Baby raps so fast. The two have similar perspectives, except Lil Baby has a good heart. He’s practically the Little Mermaid compared to Future’s Ursula. Don’t mind me; I have animation on the brain. Love his flow here. “Load up my rifle; I don’t go to bed.” Future is haunted by something, and no one can convince me otherwise. The last three songs have all been killer.

 9. “Trillionaire” feat. YoungBoy Never Broke Again

Jeff Bezos is going to make this song his ringtone. Youngboy is taking advantage of all the attention he’s garnished over the last year or so. Future aligns himself with young rappers who compliment him. Future is singing his heart out. I kind of missed him singing. Youngboy is singing, too. This is a started from the bottom rap ballad. “Trillionaire” might be the breakout record. YouTube views are going to be crazy.

10. “Harlem Shake” feat. Young Thug

I have a good feeling about this one. “Choppa make them do the Harlem Shake.” Future loves to rap over beats that sound like they would play in a strip club with a low health score. Just filthy. Thugger! I wish the tempo were a few BPM faster. Thug was cool. He didn’t explode as I expected him. That was mild. A cherry bomb, not an atomic one. Eh, not in love. Feels lazy. Skip.

11. “Up The River”

Maybe it’s because I’ve been in the house, but High Off Life sounds like an outside album, not a quarantine album. Future didn’t make this album for a world socially distancing. Okay! We got some heartfelt reflection. The super-villain dropped the act. Nevermind. “Got no room for mistakes.” Can someone please put Future in the studio with Mir Fontane. Those two would make something crazy.  I hope the second half leans into this direction.

12. “Pray For A Key”

Out of all the things Future could pray for, he prays for a “key.” Super-villain. There’s some premium trauma on this album, word to my boy Michael Penn II. “I been dying to go berserk.” Not a bad record. I like the production. The synth in the background is a nice touch. “Used to pray for a key.” This is… Cool.

13.  “Too Comfortable”

“Bitch, don’t get too comfortable.” Sheesh, that’s how you feel, man? I wish we could get a For The Love of Future reality show. That would be premium television. We got something here. I like the production; I also like the tone, flow, and energy. Future is such a subtle talker. No matter what he says, it never sounds as malicious as the words are. Who made this beat? It’s gorgeous. [Editor’s Note: Southside.] Oh, he just mentioned his son. He’s opening up. Dang, that was short-lived. What is Future’s real-life like? He’s a mystery. It’s part of the allure. “Better not get too comfortable.” I’ll keep this one—the most personal song on the album. Well, besides the one about his friends with no souls.

14. “All Bad” feat. Lil Uzi Vert

I love how shameless Future is. He doesn’t care if you judge him; his life is his life. Uzi brought a change in sound. All his beats sound like they belong in video games. Gotta love the colorfulness. “I’m from a whole different world.” I believe it, sir. “My nickname is Yung Spendit.” That’s a solid nickname haha. This one is a trampoline. I love that Uzi is back to releasing music. He’s a walking cartoon. “I am way smarter than you.” Baby Pluto and Pluto Sr. are a good combo. “If I hang up, don’t call back at all.” Future is a rap star who doesn’t dim his light for no one. I wonder when was the last time he apologized to someone. Probably never. You don’t become a superstar apologizing.

15. “Outer Space Bih”

The keys are gorgeous. Future has a solid beat selection. They’re distinctive, but only a handful stand out. This one does. “I’m a driving drug store.” I see “Outer Space Bih” being a favorite. “I got two G Wagons in my ears.” Future stunts are becoming more impressive. I see why he and Drake get along. They like to make us all feel poor. Keeper.

16. “Accepting My Flaws”

This title sounds like an outro. Who is that? Dang, someone is ranting. I wonder how Future would acknowledge his flaws? 808 Mafia tag. Yes! Man, this sounds like driving a hellcat in hell. Feels like a Future classic. HE’S GETTING TO IT. “Drink my blood, baby, we going digital.” I hope we never find out what Future does in his private life. I know it’s nothing good. Two minutes in and I’m ready to run it back. He’s on a roller-coaster. “Fuck them all, we don’t show them sympathy.” So far, not one mention of his flaws. I love it. “Lord forgive me I been on a rampage.” He has been fighting his demons; he’s been fighting the cup. Oh man, this is good. Easily the best record on the album.

17. “Life Is Good” feat. Drake

I like this record. It’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in rap form. “Baby got an ego twice the size of the crib.” Can’t imagine a woman with an ego bigger than Drake’s mansion. I can’t believe these two dropped this song in January, and life immediately got bad. How Future catches the beat switch is something serious. Lyrically, he sounds so alive. “Life Is Good” is one of his best rap performances on the album. He gets into a completely different zone when Drake is featured. Rap would sound completely different without Future. “Life Is Good” is a keeper, but this album doesn’t need to continue.

18. “Last Name” feat. Lil Durk

“I take care of families.” Oh, wait, we have something. This is sweet. Melodic Future bleeding it out. “I can’t go to sleep, I’m too paranoid.” I guess that’s why he wants a Draco in London. Being that famous can’t be fun. Lil Durk sounds great. Pray that all rappers get the healing they deserve. So many great songs inspired by deep sorrow. “Laughing to the bank got me running wild.” Future and Durk tag-teaming the last verse was sweet.

19. “Tycoon”

One day, Future will realize that we don’t need 21 songs. “Took that Draco on a PJ, I ain’t playing.” Man, this album is a paranoia parade. As much as I like confessional Future, I feel like he told us everything we needed to know about his life in the streets on “Sorry.” “Tycoon” is a good song, but this deep into the album, it’s not hitting as hard as it should. Bloated albums do a disservice to the deeper cuts. Admittedly, bloated albums are terrible for 1 Listens. It’s like being held hostage in a studio. [Editor’s Note: I apologize.] Okay, that was a little dramatic. Good record, though.

20. “100 Shooters” feat. Meek Mill & Doe Boy

Tay Keith tag! Okay! These hi-hats just woke me up. A nice Nas/Belly reference. Meek! I haven’t played any Meek lately. Hearing his voice is refreshing. I could use a new Meek project. [Editor’s Note: He’s working on one.] Man, Future does not care about these ladies’ broken hearts. I’m sure he breaks up with women just to rap about it. This is a good record. I would’ve liked this song earlier in the album. Doe Boy! This is a solid performance. I would like on a gym playlist. Nothing says leg day like having 100 shooters outside.

21. “Life Is Good [Remix]” feat. Drake, DaBaby & Lil Baby

This album is longer than the wait at Red Lobster on Mother’s Day. “Help me fight my demons.” At what age should you be expected to deal with your demons alone? I didn’t mean that. We all deserve a shoulder to lean on, no matter your age. I can’t wait until Future drops a gospel redemption album. It’s going to be glorious. “Halloween gang in this bitch.” Why is Drake credited on this? My man did not come back as a guest star. The beat switch is meaner than a classroom of toddlers on silent lunch. DaBaby! Such a great rap voice. He found a good pocket. He delivered a strong guest verse. “You a throwaway, baby, it’s okay.” Man, rappers can be so savage. Lil Baby! The pure-hearted gangster. His flow is something else—a rapping roadrunner. I hope Lil Baby will always rap like the cops are about to raid the studio, and he has to finish the verse before they kick the door in.

Final (First Listen) Thoughts on Future’s High Off Life

Future’s High Off Life is a journey through a terrain of toxic lust, sleepless paranoia, wealthy boasts, and deep-seated trauma. Mostly, it’s another chapter from the book of Nayvadius. We have a familiar gospel on our hands.

High Off Life features Future giving the people what they expect. We have a hopeless romantic who relishes the ghosts of his past and refuses to look away from the prosperity of his present. The 36-year-old rap innovator delivers another long-winded recollection of guns, glory, girls, drugs, and demons with suave flows and hypnotic cadences over hard-hitting production from the usual suspects.

To his credit, Future understands that he is a roller-coaster. The kind of artist who follows a designated path of loops, twists, and turns without losing the rush that makes each ride thrilling. High Off Life adds 21 new attractions to his dark, twisted theme park. It’s just that, we’ve all been here before.

Listen to Future on Audiomack.

from Listen Review of Future’s ‘High Off Life’ by djbooth.net