#so you can expect more confusion on my part for liking and sympathizing with someone I tend to find to be A Ridiculous Person

[hausofmamadas]

OKAYOKAYOKAY firstoff, we gotta get this out the way. So iiiiiii have a *coughs* complicated? relationship with Steve Murphy sksk I don't hate him, but he frustrates me and it's no secret that I love to roast him prob more than anyone else in the Narcos/Nmx universe. He's just sooooo... such a.... he's just so- god how do I get this out.... fuck I'll just come right out: this man is Beyond White. And it's not even just White, it's a specific brand of American White, I can't help but not take him seriouslyskdfjsls. Like, Steve Murphy is Wonderbread White. And I know that Steve isn't the focus of this fic, but I have to say this now bc it's one of my favorite aspects of fanfic, specifically reading multiple fics by the same writer.

There's this thing I've noticed as a reader where a writer has clearly given serious thought to, and put a lot of care into writing a character that's not my? fav? but one theyhold dear. And bc it's a fav of theirs I use fav loosely bc my fav is a fuckinskdffj assassin the character is so well-crafted that it actually manages to convert me into kinda? A Believer? When I say well-crafted, I don't mean likeable or idealistic to the point of being ooc but there are qualities that writers pick up on that are there but I don't notice bc I haven't reaaaally been paying attention, right. Imean idek this makes sense but what tf I'm trying to say is you know Steve Murphy. You know this man.Andthis fic is one such example of that exact thing. Bc that was my first immediate thought upon reading:

"Yeah well, things are- " Javier paused his sentence to think about what to say, how to describe what you were getting into.

"A shitshow." Steve interrupted him to finish the thought.

Mentally, you noted that Steve was the more honest one, not to get flustered by the presence of a woman ... you respected it.

Like a) it's true, and b) I also respect it ngl something I never thought I'd be caught dead saying about Steve tbh sksk he has always been the more honest of the two. Less likely to couch bad news in some political doublespeak, unlike Javi.

Ditto for, "Now we should give you a heads up ... Colonel Carrillo can be ... He can be a bit of a dick." But lest I get carried away enjoying Steve too much skfjlsk Reader corrects the record, ... you now realized that what Murphy meant in the car was, Carrillo was a dick to him. And I was back to my usual howwwlingslkdj at his expense so hard I tipped my own chair back. Also, Reader's multiple Thought-Roasts of Javi are too many to quote and as much as I would love to do a full reblog scream like I normally do, I don't have timeslkdjflk but I was grinning like a loon and nodding vigorously bc correct. Javi is an absurd little man SKSKJ

Okay, onto the subject of the actual fuckin fic sldfkjslkdjf;a another reason that first exchange jumped out is bc I was also celebrating the fact that these were details Reader paid attention to bc you know I"m a sucker for competence porn lbr bc something I realized about myself as a non-capital-R, reader, is I love when I get more invested in the Reader character than the characters I started reading teh fic for in the first place??????? And you did that so fucking just masterfully here. And you consistently do taht it's truly got me marveling at the skill just full *takes out tiny detective notepad and impossible microscopic reading glasses* scribbling notes furiously, laerning so much TECHNIQUE BABYYYYYYYYY

And I've just babbled on about all of that and havne't even gotten to, the expectedly but I still resent it, devastating the Carrillo Of It Allskskskskskskks particularly when you slapped me with this, You spoke his name with such pleading, not just because you knew it'd get him to answer but because you truly missed saying his name in that way. I MEAAAANNNNSDLKFJA;LSDKJF;ALSJKDF; YOU REAL TRYNA KILL ME WIT THIS??????? THE WAY READER JUST KNOWS HIM, KNOWS THAT'LL GET AN HONEST ANSWER BC THE MAN IS LEGIT A JELLY FILLED DONUT WHEN IT COMES TO ANY OBJECT OF AFFECTION/LOVE INTEREST, WEJUST KNOW HE IS, ugh and the "If I had to lose you to someone I'm glad it was her" to seal my fate as fresh, worm-chow for the earth bc you've driven me to an early grave even though I did exactlyfuckingnothing to desrve this but love too much whatever, I'm fine, I feel fine actually y'know can you be fine, if you've never..? been fine before? like in your mind? asking for a friend ofc

For Old Time's Sake

Horacio Carrillo x F!Reader Steve Murphy & Javier Peña & F!Reader For the @narcosfandomdiscord October Prompts. Day 1 - Day of Firsts: Create a fanwork about a canon character you’ve never written about/used before. Summary: Your first day in Colombia on the Escobar case and you end up running into an old flame. A little reimagined moment of Steve's first day in Colombia if you will! Word Count: 3.5k Warnings: All my fics are 18+, regardless of content. Angsty. Javi being kinda lowkey jerky. A/N: Okay so this is my first time writing Carrillo and I feel like its wildly out of character/his voice/etc but we're out here TRYING okay. So excited for these prompts and hope to write for a good chunk on this list!

Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @narcolini

Your plane landed in the early morning hours, it was still dark out as you exited. Luckily there was no waiting on baggage or making your way through the crowd. When the DEA sent you out, they pulled out all the stops. It helped that you were top of your game at work, putting in the extra hours, sacrificing your social life. It basically meant you were eating, sleeping, and dreaming of work 24/7 but it brought you up as the highest agent in your division and because of that, it earned you the Escobar case. That and well, you had pretty well knowledge of Colombia since you spent your college years abroad there. 

This was the last of the luxury you’d experience from the DEA office in the states, however, and you knew that so you soaked up every ounce of it before you were now exiting the private plane, making your way down to the Ford that was waiting to take you to your accommodations. 

“Hola, senorita.” Someone in a suit greeted you and held the backdoor open for you. 

You smiled and placed your bags in the back, you knew that wasn’t what they were holding the door for, but you weren’t going to continue the special treatment. Quickly after dropping your bags, you moved to the passenger seat and waited for the driver to join you. After a few beats of silence they mentioned they would be taking you to your apartment so you could get settled but you disagreed and made them take you to the embassy. 

There it was, the habit that got you in this position, all work, no play. 

As you rolled into the embassy, you flashed your badge and quickly made your way in, stepping out as the car was still moving. 

“Muchas gracias.” You nodded to your driver who was panicking to brake. 

Two men in tan suits waited for you as you approached with your bags. 

“Peña and Murphy?” You stood staring at the two of them as they sized you up. 

“Yep.” Javier extended his hand out to shake yours. “Javier–Javi.” 

That was followed by the same gesture from Steve. 

“They were supposed to bring you to drop your bags off first.” Javi started to complain as he began walking inside the building.

“I told them to bring me here, I can drop my bags off whenever I go home. Wanted to meet the team and get briefed as soon as possible.” You spoke up, quick to keep up with both of the men who were holding the door open for you. 

As you entered the building you took in everything, making mental notes of every detail you thought would be important. The sign that listed each floor, where the bathrooms were, where each emergency exit was located. It almost made you miss the look Steve and Javi gave each other after you explained your eagerness to work. 

“I got myself familiar with all the notes on the plane but, I figured first hand accounts would be better. I know better than to believe everything that’s in the paperwork.” You spoke as you entered the elevator. 

“Yea well, things are–” Javier paused his sentence to think about what to say, how to describe what you were getting into. 

“A shitshow.” Steve interrupted him to finish the thought. 

Mentally you noted that Steve was the more honest one, not one to get flustered by the presence of a woman. He was likely married, or in some serious commitment, and whether that was with a woman or his job you respected it. You nodded with a smile, answering him briefly with a some response about how it isn't always with the DEA or something of that nature before your eyes moved back over to Javier to get a read on him. 

Before you could nail down a thought, the elevator doors were opening and the group of you were moving fast. 

“Weaver and Wisnicki, meet our new DEA special agent.” Javier introduced you by name. 

You were quick to let go of your bags and reach over to shake hands and correct the title he gave you. “Supervising Special Agent.” 

Steve let out a chuckle before continuing the greeting. “Javi what is it you called these guys? R.I.P? Retired in place?” 

You let out a chuckle, you weren’t going to shit on what these two did, you weren’t here for that and with the amount of time you spent at work, you needed to make friends where possible. 

“Hey, we all earn it.” You lifted your hands up in an act of innocence. “It was nice meeting you two.” 

As the group of you moved through the different sections of the floor you got introduced to other agents, the Mil group, and the ambassador. Each group introduction went well. By the end of your journey, Javier was suggesting you leave your bags at his desk before they drove you in to meet the Search Bloc, seeing as you were about to go on an intel mission with them in the next 5 hours. 

“Now we should give you a heads up.” Steve spoke up as the car you were in pulled into Carlos Holguin School. “Colonel Carrillo can be–”

“Walking up right now.” Javier interrupted as he put the car in park and exited the vehicle. 

Steve was quick to look up and see that the Colonel wasn’t walking up, it was just his men approaching to escort the lot of you in. 

“No he’s not!” Murphy yelled before turning to you in the back seat. “He can be a bit of dick. Apparently a common trait around here.” His eyes went back to Peña before he was exiting the passenger door himself. 

You smiled to yourself at that. It was enjoyable to you to see the back and forth between the two men. 

The silence overcame the group of you as you were brought to an office door, the plaque on the outside reading Colonel Carrillo was a little outdated in style, meant he had a few years on his belt. 

As the door was opened by one of the search bloc soldiers, Javi began speaking. 

“Buenos días, Colonel.” 

The minute a voice responded, you felt your gut flinch, if that was even possible, before it sunk. Your head was whipping up to look at the major, taking in his green uniform, the badge on his chest, and finally, his face. 

Javier and him were mumbling to each other as they shook hands, leaving you to take in who it was in front of you right now. 

It wasn’t so much nerves you were feeling, you would have described it more as shock. Which, shock felt a lot similar to a panic attack. The noise in your ears got fuzzy, there was a slight buzzing in the background and your face went blank. 

“You alright?” Steve cut through the fuzziness in your ears, luckily and brought you back to reality. 

“Yea sorry, just fucked up from the time difference and the flight.” You shook your head and masked the shock you were feeling. 

“I want you to meet our new DEA supervising special agent.” Javi spoke up, calling the attention to you now. 

His eyes met yours, and the smile that slightly curved on his face tipped you off that he recognized you immediately. You saw his mouth move slightly open and before Javi or him could say your name you were quick to cut them both off by speaking it outloud and move towards them, extending your arm to greet the man. 

If that wasn’t enough to get the point across to the Colonel, your next words would have been. 

“Mucho gusto.” You smiled and prayed he didn’t say or do anything that would give away your connection. 

“Mucho gusto.” He spoke back to you with a frown. 

“We’re gonna move out and get intel in about an hour.” Steve spoke up from the back. 

“Murphy.” Carrillo spoke up, his face hardening as he stared at the man. 

With the context you had just gotten from Steve, you now realized that what Murphy meant in the car was, Carrillo was a dick to him. If you weren’t in the middle of this clusterfuck of a situation, you would have smiled, maybe even chuckled a bit but your mind was still trying to wrap itself around what was happening. 

“We’ll get out of your hair, just wanted to introduce you to the fresh meat.” Javi smiled at you. 

“Wait.” Carrillo spoke up and your gut did that flinching thing again. “I’d love to know more about what this means for your team, Peña.” 

You heard Javi start to make a noise, it was something adjacent to stuttering. His way of not wanting to devalue himself or shit on you while you were in the room. 

“My title doesn’t really pull weight, it’s just for the paperwork. I’m basically going to be working closely with Peña and Murphy on intel and raids. Only difference is my signature gets added to the documents.” You spoke up, looking back at the men behind you as you spoke. 

“Have you gotten a tour of Medellin yet, special agent?” 

He was teasing you. When you met him in Colombia all those years ago, that was exactly what he did. Give you a tour. He showed you the plaza, the museums, the best restaurants you never would have found otherwise. And again, in any other circumstance you would have been amused, but mortified was more the right word to describe your emotions at the moment. The comment was more obvious to you than anyone else in the room. It helped that Steve and Javi were oblivious to everything that wasn’t Escobar related so they weren’t exactly picking up on what was happening. 

“She flew in this morning, her bags are back at the embassy at my desk, she didn’t even get settled before jumping on the case.” Javi spoke up. 

“I’ll have it arranged that your bags are picked up and brought here.” Carrillo wasn’t even looking at any of you anymore. He was rummaging through paperwork at his desk. 

When no one responded he looked up to be met with confused looks. His eyes jumped from Steve to Javi to you. “Paperwork, after the intel trip. Going to need your signatures.” 

“Right.” You said it was obvious the entire time. 

“Alright, I’ll make the arrangements and meet you all at 1300.” He went back to looking at his paperwork, ignoring all 3 of you. 

It took you a couple seconds to make your feet move but eventually you were able to and out of his office. Steve was now leading the way to where you would meet a few more of the Search Bloc crew and gather up gear for the trip you were about to take. 

Luckily, the intel mission wasn’t awkward at all. Carrillo put his professional foot forward, as did you and as you all waited in the room for all the Narcos to show up there was no more tense or nervousness in the air. He clearly picked up on you not wanting to out any of your past personal life to Steve and Javier and quite honestly, he understood that. Having more time to think on it and not being thrown for a loop in the moment, he felt relieved about it too. These were not exactly the typical running into your ex conditions, this was work, this was catching a drug cartel and their leaders, this needed to be as far away from personal as possible. 

That was what both of you told yourselves. It was what you told yourself on the way back, while you sat next to each other in the car, when Javi leaned forward to tell you that the restaurant coming up had the best arepas de choclo. You knew that, because that was where you and Horacio would go when you were craving late night foods. And it was what you told yourself now, as you all pulled back up to the Carlos Holguin School and the awkwardness came back over you. 

“I had one of my men take your bags to where you’re staying.” Carrillo said as the group of you gathered together on the dirt lot. 

“We would have taken them back, her place is on the first level where me and Steve stay.” Javi spoke up, his hands resting on his hips. 

“One last thing we gotta lug back home from the embassy.” Steve shrugged as he leaned over to shake Carrillo’s hand in an effort to say goodbye.

“Wasn’t a big deal, I have a few men working at the embassy, keeps communication smooth.” Carrillo wasn’t in the mood to argue with Javi on this so he was quick to turn to you. “You ready to get started on this paperwork?”

“Yea, I’ll meet you in your office, let me just debrief with my guys.” You spoke confidently, anything to throw both of them off.

 All Carrillo did was nod and make his way back to his office. You turned to Steve and Javi, your face solid and serious. 

“We’ll take care of following up on the intel.” Javi spoke up now, like he was in charge. 

“I’ll give you a call on what the next move is.” Steve was cutting Javi off, staring at him with a frown before moving his eyes on to you. 

You nodded once, then turned to Javi. “Call me fresh meat one more time and I’ll be sure you’re riding desk for the rest of this case and you’ll be the one staying late to run through paperwork.” 

It was harsh, but true. You were new, but you weren’t stupid. Regardless of anything, you pulled rank over these two, whether it truly mattered or not. There was no room for disrespect. 

“See you two in the morning.” You offered them a goodbye and made your way over to the main entrance. Steve’s laugh could have been heard from even inside the building, it was obvious he was making fun of Javi, of what you just said. It was good, set the tone amongst them. 

The walk down the hallway was long, your head was filling with tons of thoughts, of memories, your heart was beating so fast it was a surprise it wasn’t coming out of your chest. As your hand rested on the doorknob of Carrillo’s office, you took a beat, a moment to take a deep breath and exhale it out as the door opened. 

Carrillo was sitting at his desk, his green button up shirt that houses his name patch and badge was hung on a coat rack in the corner, he was at his desk with just his tan t shirt on, the only light illuminating the room was the outdoor lights from the windows behind him and the desk lamp that was showing the frown on his face as he shuffled through things on his desk. 

“Thanks for going along with it.” You spoke up, alerting him of your presence. The immediate thought you had was why you were starting the conversation with that. There were a million other things you could have said. 

His head shot up, he clearly had not heard you open the door or your heart practically thumping out of your chest. 

“It’s no problem.” He answered you. “I hope you set Peña straight.” He was standing up now, moving his hand to the chair across his desk offering for you to sit. 

“Set straight?” You were confused, as you made your way to sit down. 

“Fresh meat.” He said as he sat back down himself. 

“Oh, yea. That won’t be happening again.” You let out a chuckle, still fidgeting around in the seat trying to get comfortable. 

“It’s probably good you thought quick, what happened with us… it’s just more fuel to the fire for him.” Carrillo was leaning on his desk, elbows resting on the stacks of documents. 

“What did happen with us?” The question came out so blunt it even shocked you. 

“You went back.” It was said like it was so obvious. Like those 3 words were the answer to it all. 

“I sent you letters.” The vibe had definitely changed from just mere minutes ago. 

Carrillo didn’t say anything, he sat there silent, his face neutral like that would be enough of an answer for you. 

“It’s crazy how you can know someone for just short of a year, spend pretty much everyday with them, learn the most intimate things about them, and truly know absolutely nothing about them.” 

“What are you talking about?” He was annoyed, and because of the time you spent with him, you knew it was deflection, a way to get out of the conversation, but you weren’t going to let it go that easily. 

“You never told me you were an aspiring police officer.” You pointed to the badged shirt on the rack. “In fact, I’m pretty sure you told me you wanted to come to the states, study, learn about architecture, the details of the buildings that people are so quick to dismiss.” It was a pretty direct quote from a young Horacio’s mouth.

“I joined 4 months after you left. Things got bad here. After that incident where– where you got hurt. I couldn’t shake it.” He explained thinking back to one of the last memories of you here with him. It wasn’t one either of you liked to remember, you had a permanent scar on you to remind you of it more frequently, but in Carrillo’s case it looked like he had a career profession to keep the memory alive. 

“Why did you ignore my letters?” Your voice softened now as you came to the realization that maybe you could actually come to some closure tonight. 

“We should probably start on this paperwork, make everything ready for your team to move forward tomorrow.” He was taking a stack of blank documents and handing it over to you. 

“Why did you ignore my letters, Horacio.” You spoke his name with such pleading, not just because you knew it’d get him to answer but because you truly missed saying his name in that way. 

“It was too much.” He couldn’t bear to look at you as he spoke. “Loving you and giving my all to training, to the big picture, to Colombia.” 

There it was. The most truthful thing he might have ever said to you. You knew he loved you but deep down, you always knew he loved his country. The two of you fell in love as he showed you the sights, it was written in your story for it to come down to this.

“If I had to lose you to someone I’m glad it was to her.” You managed to make a joke, just being happy that he had been honest with you. 

He smiled at that too. Now that things were a little more settled, a little less awkward, you began rummaging through the papers, filling out reports and findings, signing pre-typed notes for approvals and compliance. About 20 minutes went by when Carrillo was clearing his throat to get your attention. 

“I’m glad you’re here to fight this fight with me.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The firmness in your voice came back over you, your eyes glaring at him.

He got flustered a bit, neither of you having been in a situation where flirting, romance and charm weren’t the leading tones of your conversations. 

“I just came here for the best arepas de choclo in Colombia.” A smile grew on your face and his was soon to follow. 

He was quick to stand up and grab his jacket, which was hanging next to his badged work shirt and place it on. 

“Well I guess I better not disappoint.” He was nodding towards the door. “For old times sake? I believe that’s what they say back where you’re from.” 

You stood up and grabbed your own jacket from the back of the chair and made your way to stand in front of him, dangerously close to him, you could feel the slight breeze of his breath on you as he waited for some verbal response from you. For old time’s sake, if that was the excuse he needed to justify going to get food with you, you’d take it. To be honest if that was the excuse he needed to do anything with you, you’d allow it. Little to your knowledge, but those 4 words would end up being all the invitation either of you needed to revisit old times in the next five months, whether it was your favorite restaurant, your apartment, his house, even a couple times in his office. 

So you stared up at him, at the eyes of the man you had fallen in love with all those years ago, and despite them looking a little more dark and unruly now, you smiled and opened your mouth to speak. 

“For old time’s sake.” 

[rayman-chibi]

Introducing a side-story to my Rayman Chibi AU: Dolphins with Laser Eyes!

"Dolphins with Laser Eyes" is a parody series based on "Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix". This story changes things to retell the original in a much more humorous way while also changing the characters a bit to be more in-line with their game counterparts and follows the story of the S.P.I.R.I.T. Farts comprising of Dolph "Dolphin" Laserhawk, his adopted sister Jade, their uncle and caretaker Pey'j, the not-so-secret agent Alex Taylor (alias "Agent Hot Wheels"), and his longest-running pupil Agent Bullfrog. They're out to stop Eden, the evil organization that stripped America of its freedom, but not before getting into some of the weird shenanigans without them, what with an apocalypse happening simultaneously and whatnot. They're also joined by Ramon "Rayman" le Grand, Eden's poster-boy and a former TV star and cafe owner who got bored of his lifestyle and wanted to get out more often.

Characters:

Dolph "Dolphin" Laserhawk: The main character of the story. Like his original iteration, he was used by Eden as a weapon instead of being treated more humanly, so he quit. Some traumatizing stuff happens to him, like the time he thought he found someone who cared about him, but it turned out that he was betrayed by him and he nearly got caught... and then he ended up running into a forest and going into hiding there. Now he's the adopted brother and nephew of Jade and Pey'j respectively, but ever since he rediscovered his powers and some forces sent by Eden attacked their home, they all agreed to go back to the city to fight Eden and to protect everything they loved, even going so far as to meet a speed-controlling agent and his "pet" frog, who asked if they could take on the evil forces head-on. Though Dolph was a bit more hesitant on accepting Agent Hot Wheels's offer, seeing as he reminded him of a familiar yet horrifying figure, he agreed alongside Jade and Pey'j, and the three became part of the S.P.I.R.I.T. Farts program. The only main difference from his first counterpart? Well, he expected the whole thing to be his story, but uhh... well, with so much else going on, he's much more confused than scared of what is even happening around him.

Ramon "Rayman" le Grand: He's the star of the show, the reason you tune into Eden's channel, the wacky thingy who makes everyone smile... at least, that's what Eden wanted him to be. Not one person can outmatch his uniqueness due to his strange body and his most charming charisma. The ladies love him, people at his bar love him, seemingly everyone loves him... everyone except those who are against Eden as a whole. Rayman, who notices this, wants to achieve the impossible: to make everyone, even his greatest enemies, happy, so he escapes, leaving his luxurious life behind... only to be jumped by a random angry mob. And then he accidentally jumps onto the S.P.I.R.I.T. Farts' car. And then they jump on him- wow, poor guy, am I right? Despite this, they decide to keep him around as their "hostage", but you know what? To him, it felt like it was the greatest honor he's ever had; in a pretty twisted way, he doesn't feel so... alone anymore...

Alex "Hot Wheels" Taylor: A middle-aged man and yet a fit special agent who works for S.P.I.R.I.T., who, with his trusty remote, has the ability to manipulate one's perception of speed and time with the push of a button, and who mentors and supervises the Farts. He even used to be a Fart himself; apparently, he got accused of a crime he didn't do, but the former director of S.P.I.R.I.T. rescued him and offered him a chance of redemption. Since then, he's sympathized for the group and especially despises Sarah Fisher for... some reason. Also he's... not dating Dolph? Like, at all? I dunno, I was looking through the characters' debut games and apparently he's from this game called "The Crew" where he speeds through roads with cars and worked for some lady to take down a corrupted FBI guy and Taylor's brother's murderer to clear his name, so I figured I might let him be more of a good guy but keep some of his negative traits both in the game and in the show. You can't really stop me because he wasn't always the bad guy. Just like how Rayman wasn't always a bad guy himself.

Balak "Bullfrog": An aspiring Fart with great reflexes and a utility of weapons on his belt. He claims to be the last of his creed, a group of rebelling assassins who used to work for Eden and guarded them with whatever chances they've got (though it was joked by the higher-ups of S.P.I.R.I.T. that he used to be more or less of just a fanboy). He was eventually taken in by Alex after accidentally getting himself trapped in a pet shop, though not before Alex paid to "adopt" him (he sensed that Bullfrog wasn't an ordinary frog, especially since he was literally clothed in front of the guy). Afterwards, he initially decided to play friendly towards the guy and reluctantly help him on his missions, but after realizing the truth, that being that Eden was the one to cause the apocalypse in the first place, he fully trusted Alex and the two became a crime-fighting duo ever since.

Jade "Shauni" Laserhawk: Dolph's adopted younger sister who took him in after finding him lying down unconscious by a brook she goes to to do yoga (because originally I wanted to put in "meditate", but apparently I looked up "is yoga a form of meditation?" and the internet said "no". The internet doesn't lie to me like that. Unless it's AI). Optimistic, headstrong, and an admittedly talented artist, she made sure she gave him the best their home had to offer, and the two siblings had fun hanging out with each other, whether it be practicing yoga or finding beautiful things in nature to look at and appreciate. She really cares about Dolph and is concerned about him fighting battles by himself without her help, so much so that when he reawakened his powers and deemed himself too dangerous to her and Pey'j, or when the evil forces attacked their home and he wanted to encounter Eden all alone, she was the first to convince him that he doesn't need to fight his battles without her because of how close of a family they were. After running into Agent Hot Wheels and Agent Bullfrog while on their way to Eden, Jade was eagerly the first one to agree upon the offer. Unfortunately, she was the only one who didn't have superhuman strength nor a powerful weapon, so S.P.I.R.I.T. gave her a mechanical staff to aid her in her fights. Why she's this ecstatic to take opportunities that involved taking down Eden and other evil forces is unknown to others, but it had been hinted that she used to work for them when she was just a teenager, only to soon catch onto Eden's evil ways and flee back to her home to tell Pey'j and the others about her realization.

Pey'j "Wild Boar" Laserhawk: The proud uncle and caretaker of the Laserhawk siblings. Despite having great amounts of strength, Pey'j is both brawn and brain, having built the house they lived in, several vehicles they could use to drive around the forest, and even repairing and reviving Dolph from his unconsciousness. He too cares about his adopted nephew being too stubborn to let him and Jade fight his battles with him, but he especially cared about Jade and her own safety more, not only because she's the only one in the family who can't fight unarmed, but also because he's raised her much longer than her brother, having done so ever since she was a little girl. As such, he considers her "his favorite child" and is a lot more hesitant on how she cares for Dolph, even when she was willing to help take Eden down with him, since he knows that she's putting herself in grave danger. Really though, the main reason why he even came with his niece and nephew to stop Eden in the first place was because he wanted to protect the former and felt like the latter would protect himself, what with the cyborg parts on him and all. Additionally, he's a bit more reclusive towards others, mostly towards those who seem like they're gonna hurt his kids. For example, when they first met Agent Hot Wheels and Agent Bullfrog, he thought that the two were gonna take them away to some prison run by Eden. Even after being explained to him that the agents were working for a rebel force against the government, he was still hesitant to trust them until Jade agreed to help, causing him to have a brief argument with her about the idea. He soon agreed, albeit reluctantly since now he has to look after her more constantly, and was soon a member of the rookie tier of S.P.I.R.I.T., the Farts.

Conclusion

And so ends the premise and character introductions for "Dolphins with Laser Eyes"! Really hope to draw more of this side-story, maybe play around with the art-style to get that half-serious, half-parody look I'm going for, but for now, I'll be seeing y'all soon. Take care!

[buffster]

Real Me (BTVS 5.02)

This is part of my ongoing Buffyverse Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the shows. You can find the BTVS list here and the ATS list here. Gifs are not mine.

In hindsight, it's funny how they attempted to make Dawn seem mysterious and malevolent only to later reveal she's just a dramatic teenager.

This episode is largely about introducing Dawn as a character and her place in Buffy's life. Real Me is interesting from a meta perspective, because we're watching everyone acclimate to Dawn in real time even though they believe they've known her for years.

In typical little sister fashion, Dawn remains totally unimpressed by Buffy's slaying. If no one else is going to take Buffy down a notch, Dawn will have to. Her relationship with her sister is the most strained.

The addition of Dawn is also revealing of Joyce, who moves from having an understandably complicated relationship with her complicated daughter to just seeming like a negligent parent. She pawns Dawn off on Buffy a lot and doesn't seem much more involved with her normal daughter than her slaying one. Dawn also isn't getting the pseudo-father figure thing from Giles, who is characteristically only concerned with his slayer.

Dawn does enjoy Willow and Tara, who seem to adore her and treat her like a beloved little sister (and less like an annoying one). It doesn't seem like she knows they're a couple yet. Tara especially is very protective of her and worries about how much of an outsider Dawn feels like. Some of this is projection, but it's also true. Dawn is expected to hang on the sidelines and not be a bother, so she gains attention by being a nuisance. I think Buffy's friends also find Dawn easy to sympathize with, because she's the non-special weirdo rather than the popular chosen one. They get that.

When Buffy is forced to drag Dawn along to The Magic Shop, it's little surprise she finds trouble. What does Joyce expect at this point, exactly? The owner of the shop is dead. Harmony is now running a Sunnydale gang. Outside, Dawn has her first encounter with someone mentally ill that can sense something off about her.

Joyce still isn't ready to take Dawn that evening (she's working) so Buffy calls in Xander to babysit so she can patrol. Dawn has a crush on Xander. Her perception of events is child-like, likely reflecting how much they shelter her (she thinks he went "undercover" to stop Dracula). I love seeing Xander interact with people. He just has a friendly nature, so he's able to easily listen to Dawn's rant about Buffy and be supportive just as he listens to Buffy rant about Dawn.

It's fun watching Riley's confusion over Buffy's struggle to deal with her sister. Yes, Dawn is clueless about slaying. Yes, Dawn gets coddled. Yes, Dawn often gets more attention. What's new? Well, all of it. Buffy is struggling to adjust.

Buffy: I guess. It's just - I know it's always been this way… She's the baby. But, for some reason, it's really been getting to me lately. She's always around.

Tensions come to a head when Dawn accidentally invites Harmony inside. Buffy is furious. I'm assuming Dawn was slipped into everyone's memories as seamlessly as possible, meaning she had little involvement/impact on previous events. You get the sense this season that Dawn being in danger/involved in supernatural events is new and not something they remember.

Buffy: No, Dawn has to be coddled and protected from the big bad world. Well, you know what? We're turning Dawn into a little idiot whose going to get us all killed!

I enjoyed watching Buffy's frustration over everyone's easy forgiveness of Dawn. It's true that "put your big girl panties on" was pretty much the message a young Buffy got at every turn. She wasn't given a pass for being youthful and naive, and it makes her angry that Dawn gets one. Especially since there are rarely dire consequences for her mistakes. Buffy was punished pretty badly every time she messed up. Seeing Dawn living the life she should have had and be ungrateful must be hard. Likewise, being the kid sister to the Chosen One must be hard.

Buffy: Harmony, when you tried being head cheerleader, you were bad. When you tried to chair the Homecoming committee, you were really bad. But when you try to be bad… You suck.

Unsurprisingly, Harmony isn't difficult to defeat. Buffy beats up on Spike to get the info for her hide out. He seems to be growing resentful.

Buffy: Well, apart from the fact that magic shop owners in Sunnydale have the life expectancy of a Spinal-Tap drummer, have you ever run a store before?

Giles: I was a librarian for years. This is exactly the same, except that people pay for the things they never return. This will give me focus, help me increase my resources - and keep you lot from tramping about my flat at all hours. There may even be space for you to train in the back.

Buffy: Boy, you've really thought this through. How bored were you last year?

Giles: I watched 'Passions' with Spike. Let us never speak of it.

New location: Magic Shop.

Character Notes:

Buffy Summers: Buffy does not understand Dawn's reference to Hogwarts.

Dawn Summers: She has a Third Eye Blind Poster.

Harmony Kendall: She was stood up by minion Brad Bellamy (who she turned) in the tenth grade. She likes unicorns.

Riley Finn: Riley gets boyfriend points here. He sincerely doesn't mind her canceling plans (and totally forgetting him) here and is just sweetly supportive.

Rupert Giles: He bought a sports car as a sort of post-slayer crisis. It's not working out too well.

[waitmyturtles]

I think (I THINK) I have caught up on most of the commentary on The Promise, episode 6, which I was behind on yesterday because WEDNESDAYS ARE HARD RIGHT NOW, THANKS THE EIGHTH SENSE (I have decided to skip the Our Skyy 2 episodes of the series that I didn’t watch, and binge ‘em later). I’m especially following @respectthepetty‘s tag and @heretherebedork‘s tag (I didn’t realize @dribs-and-drabbles was watching this, and I’ll peep your tag when you catch up next week!)

I’m especially influenced this week by @bengiyo’s excellent critical commentary -- very necessary commentary for a cishet gal like me to read -- about what Phu represents from a queer culture perspective, and how Our Dating Sim did this same paradigm far more successfully and succinctly. The running away, the disappearing, the coming back, and what it all means.

I think one ground rule I’m operating on for The Promise now is that Khom Kongkiat/Uncle Tong really needs to sell this skincare shit, so it’s a long-ass series, and we just didn’t need to deal with that as much in KinnPorsche because there was SO MUCH GOING ON in K/P/Vegas/Pete/Kim/Khun/general mafia world. And I wonder if Uncle Tong is struggling a tad to sell these products while needing to fill static air.

All that said. I’m an old biddy whose family hails from a similar kampung/village situation as Nan and Phu. I really still like this show.

I happen to like the slow and quiet pace! I’m always a defender of a slow trudge towards change. Because...

These guys are what, in their early 30s?

Every decade of getting older makes making behavioral change happen a little bit easier. (I certainly entered my early middle-age season with a lot less fucks to give, for damn sure -- but I had to live my previous decades to get there.) 

Phu disappeared for 10 YEARS, after college, so all of his twenties and a little of his thirties. Then he comes back to Bangkok, to Nan. One would hope: Phu’s come back older and wiser. Sure, maybe. Kinda not. Kinda sorta. 

Even after 10 years, I’m not going to expect someone who RAN THE HELL AWAY to know what to do, to know what to say, to Nan, and to manage his (Phu’s) own feelings of fear. Phu’s solution in his 20s was to run away. In his early 30s, he’s inched back, but doesn’t know how to cross that finish line -- YET. I don’t see how Phu lived a life during that time that would have given him an answer of how to deal with his situation with Nan. He still doesn’t know! He’s still paralyzed by fear. Your 20s are a really confusing time! You’re working through all the shit of your childhood and teenage years. 

Imagine smoking your entire life, and trying to quit. Trying all sorts of shit. Changing that behavior is REALLY HARD. It can feel IMPOSSIBLE. Same with dieting, same with exercise. It is REALLY HARD TO CHANGE BEHAVIORS AND PARADIGMS.

Phu, in his 20s, on the eve of graduation, really gave into his desires that night in the dorm room. That was a hell of a kiss -- that was the longest version of the kiss that we’ve seen. And Nan fell backwards, drunk, only with the words, “You promised never to leave me,” and passed out. Phu didn’t know what to do or what to say -- how to tie that knot again, outside of the specter of getting drunk and releasing inhibitions. That wasn’t a part of his paradigm back then.

So as an old biddy, a social worker, a sympathizing mom: I unfortunately still feel for Phu. Because at least in my real life, I’m surrounded by people who haven’t been able to surmount big emotional obstacles for their entire long-ass lives, and I see that as real-real reality. People who can’t work because of their fear of failure. People with agorophobia who can’t leave their rooms or houses. 

I sure hope this fictional skincare commercial resolves differently. I think it will. Granny’s picked up on what’s going on. She’ll put together why Phu asked her to lie to Nan all those years, if she hadn’t already way back when. She’ll flirt it up with Nan to get on Nan’s good side. Nan’s STILL poking about Melbourne. He’s not going to drop it. He’s got support from Party and Gigi. Party’s ready to catch Nan if Nan finally decides to cut ties. 

But: Nan sees Phu in pain. I know the majority read on that nightmare scene is -- why should we sympathize with Phu? I totally get it.

From Nan’s perspective, I think it’s more complicated. It’s not black or white. Nan grew up with Phu.... so Nan might have a better sense than all of us that Phu might just really suck at solving problems, and is paralyzed by fear. Even Granny confirmed it, and asked Nan to be there for Phu.

Right? Phu does suck at solving problems. It was Nan who needed to close the deal on the coffee shop joint. It’s Nan that had to help Phu get over his fear of crowds to shoot a successful campaign.

I think these dudes are balancing each other out. I see it right now as VERY imbalanced in Phu’s favor, holding Nan hostage, and my heart is with Nan. Nan has needs, too.

But Nan... can’t help but continue to be there for Phu, to hold Phu, to let Phu hold Nan. Nan can’t help his shit, either. I’m not going to judge or blame him, because he has his needs, too. We’ve all been in his shoes.

Two dudes who can’t help their shit, who keep coming back to each other. The old gal in me -- maybe like Granny! -- says, let them figure their shit out. This unnecessary crap pain they’re feeling: they need to make their mistakes in order to get to their happiness. I’m not ever going to push anyone to behave perfectly, either in real life or in dramas, except when the scripts utterly suck (cough cough UMG cough). 

Sell the stem cell shit, Uncle Tong, keep doing your thing for your funding. The series is a little too long for us to hold out THIS LONG for Phu, but I think, for all the obstacles this series is facing, that Khom is treating these two with as much compassion as the script can handle at this moment. It CAN’T LAST FOR THAT MUCH LONGER. Phu has GOT to start barking. If it lasts past the next episode, then I think we lose patience and timing altogether.

But maybe, maybe, I trust in Khom to get us past Phu’s confession, because we’ll only have three episodes after that to witness what Nan decides. And Nan CERTAINLY deserves ALL THE FUCKING TIME HE NEEDS to decide how he’ll deal with Phu to the end of the series.

FINGERS. CROSSED. It’s on you, Uncle Tong! Get the timing right, otherwise, yes, we will have to peace tf out.

****

SIDE NOTE: I LOVE PARTY AND GIGI. I LOVE WHAT THEY’RE WEARING, I LOVE THAT THEY LOVE NAN. I LOVE THEM! I want Party’s pants and Gigi’s jewelry. They’re great. I think they get squeezed out by the skincare promotions. I want more of them.

[lleldey]

Hello!

Sorry if I make some mistakes, english isn’t my first language.

I just wanted to say the broken vow is the best story I’ve ever read in a while. Thank you for producing this masterpiece.

I genuinely had no idea that if your spouse is in long term coma, you can’t get divorced easily, like you have to wait 2-5 years depending on the state you’re in and have medical documents. (Did some research on the topic because I was so curious XD) I thought it would be so much easier, it definitely made me question whether or not coma state falls into the “sickness” part of the vow.

At first, I was sympathizing with the oc only and I perceived jungkook as purely evil. But re-reading it, I realized it’s actually very grey, and from his point of view, he actually went through a horrible betrayal.

I was wondering, if you had in mind to make some drabbles about their life after these events ? Because even though he legally tied her to him and she’s now his wife and can’t leave, there is not much he can do about her actual affections. I really wonder how their everyday life will be. Will she love him like before and forget what happened ? Or will she hold a grudge (understandably) ? How about him, how would he feel is oc is not the lovable wife he once knew ?

Also, can we just talk about how nice you are? Like I see how you reply to readers and you take your time to answer them in the best way possible. <3

Hi!! If there’s someone to whom you don’t need to apologise for any grammar mistakes - that’s me. English isn’t my first language as well, I’ve got you! 🫡

Right? I was also shocked how hard divorce is, if one party is in coma! Apparently the whole ‘in sickness and health’ goes deeper than thought, not to mention if any religious factors are involved - that makes everything 1000 times harder. Great absorvation, anon! (Would it be wrong to say, my writers ego has been boosted tremendously by you searching the information up 🥲)

It is morally a very grey storyline, the complexity of it also shows when MC continues to blame herself for the divorce; her fear of going to the hospital, her inability to defend herself, etc. Sad, considering the only time she sticked up for someone was Tae, and not herself

I’m still playing around with ideas for drabbles, I know that I’d like to make one of how they met/their first year together, but I’m a bit reluctant to write about how their relationship would unfold after the events in the story. To me, their story is more or less complete.

I answered an ask where I explained how their life would be afterward, if you want to, you can read it here; it’s a longer one, but it gives a clear description and some scenarios of what their relationship is like!

I don’t think people expect this, but their relationshiafterwardds isn’t that bad, their biggest problem is that they both suffered trauma, and don’t know how to deal with it/refuse help. At the end of the story I tried to highlight MC’s inner turmoil, where she blames herself for not being able to hate JK; realistically, they didn’t divorce because they were on bad terms, they divorced because MC lost all hope that he’d wake up. And when he woke up she was very confused, she realised she loves both JK and Tae, but ultimately chose Tae because he was her husband, and also - loyalty.

She would not forget what happened, but the fact that her ‘husband’ is still unwell, would make her go into worry mode for a while, and she wouldn’t ignore him when he is so visibly ill. Even more so, JK has the upper hand in all fights, he can easily use his weak body to shut down any conversation he doesn’t want to take part in.

MC has turned from being the lovable wife to the distraught wife; she does care - she cares a lot, but her utmost priority is to make sure JK is well, and not to drown him in affection; this on the other hand infuriates JK like nothing else. I also discussed this in greater detail in the previous ask. All in all, their relationship could work. Still, they both need to see a therapist, and I imagine that going along the lines - they make some progress, the therapist says that MC should have a say in the divorce/marriage, JK absolutely refuses and they're back at square 1. So, a lot of work and not so much patience.

Thank you for the kind words, anon! I do my best - both in writing and answering all the asks/comments. It's important that all of you feel comfortable communicating with me ☺️

Thank you for the ask, best wishes! 🌻

[astarlightmonbebe]

9 Books I Read in 2024

Tagged by @tryingtimi

rules: list 9 books you read this year that stood out to you the most/that you liked the best

i've only read 27 so far, so that's roughly 1/3rd, but we'll see. (in no particular order)

the fragile threads of power (v.e. schwab)

new adult / fantasy / adventure

i love, love, love shades of magic, so this coming out was a very pleasant surprise!!! it served and exceeded my expectations, and i'm eagerly waiting on the sequels. i loved the weaving of the past storyline and characters, but also the introduction of a new generation (also some side characters i hope will have a bigger part in the future :) ).

the death of vivek oji (akwaeke emezi)

litfic / lgbt+ themes

akwaeke emezi is an author i've always meant to read more of, and this book was sooo good. i didn't know what exactly to expect going in, because the cover flap is pretty vague, but reading it was definitely a gut punch. emezi always creates such a deeply critical and meaningful story in a short time. loved the friendships (even if they were also deeply painful). if you're sensitive, i do recommend checking out potential trigger warnings before reading.

age of vice (deepti kapor)

adult fiction / crime / thriller

picked this one up on a whim and i don't regret it at all - the story is very compelling, and i can definitely see it being dramatized. really wish there could be a sequel (apparently it's the start of a trilogy so fingers crossed!). class themes and conflicts are a huge part of the story, and it doesn't pull punches; you'll hate some characters, sympathize and pity others... and nothing is black and white.

the atlas complex (olivie blake)

new adult fiction / dark academia vibes / fantasy elements

wellll this was the conclusion to one of my recent favorite trilogies and. well. haha. let's just say. it was amazing but also damn. if you know, you know! the plot is really convoluted, in the way i honestly kind of like. got something i wanted and lost something big in return so it's the kind of book that just ahhhh. yeah.

the leavers (lisa ko)

litfic / coming-of-age

another good work. main character is not a hero, and navigating a lot of issues and current relationship problems. did it blow my mind? no, but it was still a solid read and i would recommend it.

my 500 years of being fifteen (kim hyejung)

young adult / urban fantasy

this book is special to me because i bought it in taiwan and it was the first (still the only) book i've read in trad characters/total chinese, but it was also so sweet! and fun! very kdrama esque.

the city we became (nk jemisin)

adult fiction / urban fantasy

my first nk jemisin work, and i really enjoyed it. i love sentient cities, and the angle this took was new and fun. i thought it might be confusing, but it actually made a lot of sense. love all the character dynamics. the sequel was really good as well.

i am the messenger (markus zusak)

coming-of-age / young adult fiction / mystery

like bridge of clay, this book took me by surprise. i think i binged it in a day or two? very easy to read, perfect example of what a good book is, where all the loose ends tie up and everything that was introduced has meetings later on.

strange beasts of china (yan ge)

adult fiction / low fantasy / magical realism

this one is quite possibly my favorite book of the year. i knew it was going to be good because it sounded so good, but oh man was it good. the relationships within it are the type i really like, where someone who doesn't seem important is gradually revealed to be so. ending was a gut punch. also i love magical realism.

[koraesrambles]

The Watchmen

The Great Reading Adventure Part 3!

It's time for the Watchmen, guys and hooooooooboy did I have a lot of expectations going into this one. Buckle up!

The Writing

I took notes the entire time I was reading this. It's only 12 issues long, so I decided to read it in its entirety.

I didn't like the first little bit. Don't get me wrong, I could see the crumbs in there, and I could see why people were drawn to it, but as far as gripping premise that pulls you in, it was a little lackluster to me. There were interesting moments in the beginning, but I didn't really become invested until Issue 9, which is 3/4 of the way through the story.

That said, once these guys gripped me, they GRIPPED ME. Issue 9 was beautiful, by far my favorite issue of the whole thing.

Part of the reasons things were confusing to me was because all of the "good guys" kept being compared to far right wing extremists and Nazis. Like, Rorschach is definitely supposed to become cooler and cooler throughout the books, and be kind of the moral backbone in a lot of ways. But like . . . I dunno. Hard to sympathize with someone who repeatedly got called a Nazi and blamed the dedregation of society on jews and communists. Like, I get it was the 80s, but the people in universe who defended him also defended the KKK. I just . . .I'm not down with that. I can't make myself think he's the good guy.

However, I had no idea that the famous quote "None of you understand. I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me." Came from the Watchmen. That moment . . . man. It gave me absolute chills. It was excellently built up to and brilliantly executed. I loved it. If I EVER have a moment in my writing career where I hit people as hard as that, I'll have more than achieved my dreams.

I also think that they pretty much nailed the ending. At least the atmosphere and feeling that I think they were going for. That horrible, sick feeling that the day is saved but actually everything is ruined and all it'll take is another day for everything to have been for nothing. It was a powerful ending, I liked it a lot.

That said, I did not like Adrian's solution. Maybe it's because I've lived through Covid, maybe because it's been 40 years since this was written and some tropes have been done more than others, but pretending an alien threat is coming in order to unite the world just . . . I dunno. It didn't hit for me. I didn't feel compelled by it. I get the reasons he did it, I understand what the writer was going for, I even can acknowledge that it does the job. But it felt incredibly lackluster to me, and not worthy of the really fun villain they had made to execute it.

The Art

The art is better than anything I am currently capable of, and I want to acknowledge that first, but also admit I didn't love it. It's ugly, which of course was by design. This is not a pretty story, it's not meant to give you warm and fuzzies. It also very much is in the style of many other comics I've seen from the 80s, which is just one I'm not as fond of. It did the job, but isn't something I'll be combing over looking for ways to emulate it.

The way the panels were laid out was also interesting to me. It was very repetative, just multiple square panels in a row. I imagine that this is also a result of being from the 80s, and as comics evolved so did the many different layouts, but it was kind of comforting to me as well. If it serves the story best to just have four panels in a row exactly the same size and shape to tell your story, by all means do it. I didn't even notice anymore once the story picked up for me.

As far as things I can learn from the art? Perspectives and the use sof perspectives were MASTERFULLY done here. Both with zooming in on specific details or zooming out. How it was used for emphasis. How it made you feel sick when something horrible was being said and something as mundane as the side of a coffee pot was being shown. It was truely masterful. It also helped make long conversations more interesting.

The Characters

This is probably where I have the most thoughts. The characters in this story are INTERESTING, full caps definitely needed. I mentioned in the writing section that it was kind of hard to root for the main characters when they were being compared to Nazis all the time. But over time they did grow to, at the very least, compel me, even if I still didn't "like" them.

My favorite character probably ended up being Laurie, who out of all of them seems to be the least crappy person. Not that she wasn't crappy, but she was at least trying, you know? I also liked her as Jon's tether to humanity. I feel like she was the audience surrogate in a lot of ways.

Jon was extremely fun, but it creeps me out that humans are like ants to him and he was having sex with them? I dunno, maybe it's the ace in me, but I don't understand when things like that happen. I love that he killed Rorschach at the end, I think that was absolutely the right call. I like how they showed us who he was and how he thought, all compelling and interesting.

Rorschach himself could be very cool one minute and a scum bag the next. He's an excellent character, but I'm glad he died. I think I'm supposed to be glad though. I also think he's the most clever of any of the characters. Not the smartest, but the most clever. He dies, but he's the only one who really wins in the end.

Dan was . . . he was fine. He felt like a knock-off batman and was by far the least interesting of all the characters to me personally. He was a good foil for Rorschach AND Laurie. He didn't compel me much though. That said, there was absolutely a lingering hand holding thing between him and Rorschach where i was like . . . "Are they implying something? what's happening here?"

This was after they revealed that two of the old superheroes were gay and a bunch of weird examples of homosexual couples and I just . . . I'm not imagining things here, am I? I thought things were going to go in a very different direction for a second.

Adrian as a character was utterly uninteresting until he was hypercompetant and defeated all of the "good guys" saving the world by essentially doing a really big trolley problem (greater good, and all that.) That said, nothing is sexier than a competant villain. I was on his side by the end, honestly.

The other background characters were all fairly well fleshed out and interesting. A lot of the women ended up being a little 2 dimensional, but every once in a while they'd surprise me. Almost everyone felt like a horrible person, or like they were just waiting to become a horrible person. They were all good characters even if they weren't good people.

Final Thoughts

I could write pages upon pages of analysis on this comic run. Which would probably be me just repeating what people much cooler and smarter than me have already said. I didn't get into the ways it's aged poorly or the homophobia littered throughout it. But, even with flaws, it was absolutely worth the read, if only to understand how it influenced the rest of the comic world. I understand other comics better now because I've read this one.

Concrete things I learned to apply to my own work:

Take advantage of differing perspectives, both to emphasize important background details and as a way to keep the audience engaged during long dialgoue.

If you need to put a few square panels in a row to get your point across, do it. Why fix what ain't broke?

Your characters don't necessarily have to be likeable to be compelling. You can make terrible people still worth reading about.

[dernarrleid]

' kenzou... ' she says his name in an ardent murmur, guiding to lay down on his back on the couch surface while she is atop him, their silhouettes describing their characteristic danse macabre, ' being with you like this makes me want to remember how to be gentle for a moment. ' the redhead presses her index finger against his lips so as to indicate she is not done speaking. ' i know i represent everything you loathe, but i mean it when i tell you i wish to love you, eat you, absorb you in me so that you never leave me. you know every single trace of me better than anyone else. will you let me get acquainted with the shape of you? will you let me eat you with my kiss? '

Kenzou doesn't believe her at first. While memory doesn't serve him in times of duress, he itches with the need to remind her he's more acquainted with the side that is disgusted by him and not this relatively new adoration. The long walk home nearly sent the neurons he'd studied for long firing off, like gunshots, purely set on crumbling his sanity for as long as it took the last one to fizzle. For the barrel to smoke. At night it seems everything around him gathers into tiny knives and prickle his temples repeatedly. Cutting through to the center of him, carving out pieces he's not sure belonged together in the first place—not sure how he should go about patching things up there. Her weight is comforting however, understanding it might just be how he has to accept her happenings at face value. He supposes after the dust settles, and someone so murderous, near psychopathy mellows to a husk because they no longer have to fear anyone finding out how emotional they can be. Kenzou definitely pegged Anna to be run of the mill—homicidal with no other fizzles in her brain. Never to be sympathized, never to be expected to do the same and yet here he is, crowded in her warmth after hours of the world spinning on his head. He's never been so grateful to be so wrong.

Kenzou lifts his head a bit from the singular "decorative" pillow on the armrest, arms draped by his sides as one does when trying to mold into furniture. Even her finger feels smooth against his lips. He opens his mouth to lick at it before kissing the pad, nuzzling into her hand. "Can't you be normal for once?" Kenzou says, peering down to see her, her eyes the first thing, even under the bed of messy red hair. Her body slots well over him that it's easy to confuse the start of one of them once deep in their rather complicated cuddling. "You're asking for a tall order here, how do you know you'll be satisfied with the way I taste?" The lifelessness in his arms nearly spreads to his being, but the thought of touching Anna is sure to soothe him more, he thinks. That's the excuse he gives himself anyway.

"I want to... do more than kiss you," he slots his arms around her, sliding her against him until their lips meet in a firm kiss. The kind of experience he shares with Anna eclipses those spent with any woman. None could make him feel so needed in a way that tickles the part of him designed to help. The puzzle piece he'd gladly give to her, be it lovingly or with a frantic anger that comes between them every so often. "Everything you say is interesting. I, too, unfortunately resorted to cannibalism to describe how I feel about you."

[heyclickadee]

Okay, that is a good point. And I’ll admit that that’s something I tend to not consider when it comes to fake-out deaths. (This got long, so more under the cut):

I’m not really into comic books, at least not superhero comics, in part because there are so many universe reboots, divergences, and character resurrections that I wouldn’t know where to start if how to keep track of anything (1). So, yeah, coming at it as someone who loves Star Wars but is only marginally aware of superhero comics and casually aware of the MCU, my reaction to fake-outs and character resurrections tends to be on a case by case basis because I’m not coming at it already being tired of seeing it happen. But now that you bring it up…yeah, someone who was a comic fan and also a Star Wars fan probably would be jaded as hell about character deaths and resurrections, and could absolutely see one more death not sticking as the final straw. And I can definitely sympathize with that.

But I also think that there’s a case to be made for looking at different kinds of fiction as somewhat (maybe not entirely, because cross-influence happens and nothing is made in a vacuum) separate things with their own particular sets of rules and tropes, sometimes depending on the genre, the medium, or even on what that specific piece of fiction is trying to do. An X-Men comic is not necessarily going to operate the same as a Darkwing Duck cartoon is not going to operate the same as The Boys is not going to operate the same as The Clone Wars, for example. They’re all action-adventure, broadly speaking, but they’re not really doing the same things in the same way. And I sometimes feel like we come at everything nowadays expecting it to all be the same.

(And to be fair, I think that expectation comes from a good almost twenty-years of MCU movies feeling homogenous, with a few exceptions, but that’s a whole other post).

But, again, your point is a really good point.

And Tech’s “death” being a fakeout is the thing that makes the most story sense for me, to the point that I really would be confused if it turned out he didn’t survive. The unresolved goodbye with Phee is definitely one of the many, many reasons why.

1. This kind of also applies to really long running shonen anime. I think they’re probably generally pretty good, but I’m terrified to even try to get into something like One Piece because there’s just. So much of it.

Edit, because there was a whole paragraph I forgot to write: I would also argue that fandoms can be kind of selective when it comes to which characters need to come back and which need to die. I saw a ton of arguments for the Fifth Sister coming back despite the fact that she also fell from high, high up, and had a lot less story justification to come back in Jedi: Survivor. The justifications given by people arguing for her survival were generally just that she was a cool villain. And I’ve seen tons of theories and arguments for Maul surviving again (and, okay, I’d actually be down for Weird Sand Ghost Maul haunting the Dune Sea, but still). But with Tech it’s often the same people arguing that he, specifically, has to be dead, otherwise death loses all meaning, and I sometimes think that the kind of heavy handed fake-out setup is part of why.

I do still think you have a really good point, though.

Fandom salt under the cut. Not really fandom salt. Maybe fandom paprika or fandom ground cloves:

I sometimes feel like the idea that death has no meaning in Star Wars has more to do with backlash to Zombie Palpatine in TRoS and fandom endlessly repeating the idea that no one dies than death actually being uncommon in Star Wars.

Because, yes, there have been some badly handled fake-out deaths and untimely resurrections in Star Wars. But there have been some very well handled fake-out deaths and resurrections, too, and the majority of characters who die do actually stay dead. The ones who don’t tend to fall into one of two categories: either they were originally supposed to die, but then later on someone realized that was a mistake because they just showed up and there’s more story to tell with them, no point wasting a sick ass character design (eg. Maul, Boba, potentially Fennec Shand); or we never actually saw them die on screen to begin with (eg. Ahsoka two times over).

(And then there’s the Palpatine thing which is its own category of one; I enjoy Zombie Palps, to tell you the truth, but that doesn’t mean I think it was a good choice.)

Does that mean they were all well done? Oh, goodness no. But it’s really something that has to be considered on a case-by-case basis. Do I think it was the right choice to bring Echo back? Absolutely. Would I argue the same thing for Fives if he were to come back? No, I probably wouldn’t.

And yes, main characters die a lot less often than side characters, true, but that’s because they’re main characters. They’re the vehicles through which the story is being told so, yes, they’re going to have a bit more plot armor than background characters. Unless it’s Game of Thrones, or something like it where you spend hundreds of pages getting to know a character only to have them die horribly to make a point about the world they live in, when you kill a main character, you really have to kill them. Not everything is or should be Game of Thrones. Otherwise a big chunk of the audience will always be wondering when that character is coming back.

Fake-out deaths can be misused and poorly done. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad trope by itself. A well executed fake-out can be a powerful tool. Theres a lot a writer or a team can do with it. And it doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences; it just means the consequences are different.

[sugarbooger513]

JJK Men x Insecure chubby Fem!reader

Today has been hard to think of myself positively, and I have friends who struggle with the same thing, so I thought I could indulge some people with some very loved characters reminding us that, no matter our size, we're perfect.

Characters: Satoru Gojo, Toji Fushiguro, Choso Kamo, Kento Nanami

Warnings: Insecurities, body dysphoria, Toji's gets spicy (sue me), suggestive at the end of Nanami's, tooth rotting fluff.

Satoru Gojo

- Let's be completely honest here, this man rarely feels insecure, if he ever does.

- He wouldn't be able to sympathize, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care. In fact, it makes him care a lot more.

- His comfort methods aren't for everyone either, so be prepared. He's trying, give him that.

- Humor. That's what this man knows. Iykyk, this man deflects any form of trauma with his humor.

- If he notices it isn't working, then he'll come up with something else because he loves you. That love tells him that he has to try.

"Oh sweetie pie, I'm home!" Satoru's voice carries easily through the house, but you can't seem to care at the moment. Your cheeks still feel somewhat sticky from the tears that have fallen the past thirty minutes.

"Honey bun? I said I-" His voice cuts off, and you know you're caught. The bed shifts where your boyfriend lowers himself beside you. "Y/N, why are you crying?"

"I-I don't want to talk about it, Satoru." He removes his blindfold with a small chuckle. "Did your favorite anime character die?" "No." "You sure? You tend to sob when-" "I said I don't want to talk about it."

He freezes at the way you lash out at him. Yeah, something is actually wrong.

"Love," his voice softens in a way that shows how worried he is, "is there anything I can do to help? Anything at all?" You're quiet for a minute, but you eventually scoot closer to him.

"You want me to hold you?" All you manage is a nod before more tears slide down your cheeks. His long arms encase you securely against him. "I can do that as long as you need. I'm here for you, Y/N."

The two of you stay like that, you crying softly into his uniform while he runs his hand up and down your back.

Eventually, your sobs turn into small sniffles, and you finally speak. "I.. I'm sorry for snapping at your earlier, Sato." He smiles at the loving nickname. "No, baby, I'm sorry for joking around. You wanna talk about it now?"

"I just... I was thinking about.. how many girls looks so much better than I do." He scoffs. "You're kidding, right?" "Sato.." "No, I mean that. It isn't a joke. Baby, we've been through this since day one. I. Want. You."

You hide your now blushing face against his chest. "But.. I just don't understand.." "Look at me, baby." When you do, his bright blue eyes seem to shimmer. "You're the love of my life. You're gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, and every other synonym to those that I'll have to get Nanami to teach me because I will remind you everyday until it gets through your thick ass skull."

His hand comes up to rest on your chubby cheek, where he starts to wipe away the drying tears. "I. Love. You. So. Freaking. Much. Y/N." Each word is punctuated with a kiss on a different part of your face, until he eventually meets your lips.

The small giggles you let out makes him smile. "There's that beautiful laugh! Come on, why don't I pop some popcorn and we go watch whatever you want on the TV?" Your shit eating grin makes him snort a bit of laughter. "Even if it ends in a favorite character dying?"

"I don't mind having to hold you a bit longer."

Toji Fushiguro

- This is also someone I don't think can really empathize with you and your insecurities.

- However, when this man falls he falls HARD

- He will do anything in his power to make you feel better.

- Well

- Anything he can do while still seeming nonchalant about it

- Lets talk about how this man would take matters into his own hands, with his own hands, to make sure you know how loved you are. (You couldn't have expected just fluff with him, give me a break y'all.)

"Y/N," Toji kicks his shoes off carelessly at the door, "I'm home." He raises a confused eyebrow when he looks around the house. Plates from your movie night yesterday lay strewn about the coffee table, still.

'She never leaves dishes out. That's weird.'

He starts to walk around the house, worry filling his chest. It just isn't like you to leave a mess, or to not greet him at the door. There's no way someone came and did something to you, right? No one is THAT dumb, surely.

When he hears the small sniffles coming from your shared bedroom, he breathes a small sigh of relief. "Y/N? I'm coming in." He pushes the bedroom door open to see you cuddling his pillow while laying on your side.

His eyes widen at the sight of your body trembling from the small sobs. "Y/N?" He walks around the bed to kneel in front of you. "What happened?"

"N-Nothing Toji. Sorry, I-I know the house is a w-wreck." "Shut up about the damn house. I don't care. Why are you crying?"

You finally sit up, which lets him sit beside you on the bed. "I just.. Bad day." "Who do I need to stab?" "T-Toji?! You can't solve everything by stabbing!" He shrugs a bit. "You can try."

He smiles sweetly when you slap his arm. "That isn't funny." "Hmmm, but it made your cheeks flush." "Toji Fushiguro!" "Alright, alright. You wanna tell me what's wrong now?"

"I just.. looked in a mirror for too long, babe. Don't worry about-" "I'm lost. What do you mean you looked in one for too long?" You sigh, knowing he hates vague answers.

"My body is disgusting me today, Toji." He scrunches his eyebrows and leans in a bit closer to you. Your face heats up from the slight glare in his eyes.

"Looks the same to me." "Toji, I-" "Correct yourself." His already deep voice seems to drop even lower. Your entire body trembles. "S-Sir."

"Good girl. Now, let me get this straight. You don't think you're attractive." You shake your head, suddenly feeling the tears come back to your eyes. "Why not?" "J-Just.. my body.. it isn't.." "Skinny?" The word hurts your heart, but you nod, knowing he expects some sort of answer.

"So? You're exactly what I need, Y/N." You glance up to meet his loving gaze. "N-need?" "Don't play dumb. You know I need you. Now, we have to fix those insecurities."

He stands, offering his hand out to you. When you take it, he pulls you to your feet.

"Now," he groans as he lays back down on the bed, "I've had a tiring day at work. I want you to strip and come take a seat." "A-a seat?" His smirk tells you what you need to know before he elaborates. "I AM rather starved. Come on, I'm pretty impatient."

"To-Sir, I'm too.." "Heavy? Try again. You aren't getting out of this." He snaps his fingers, and the sound runs deep into your core. His eyes watch you hungrily as you start to get out of your pants.

"Now, for every one of your orgasms, I want to hear 'I'm Toji's pretty princess.' Understand?" "Y-yes sir."

You have no idea what posses you, but you finally let out you own witty comment. "You could at least take me to dinner first."

"You cheeky brat, don't worry. I have plans for your meal."

Hope you don't mind being hoarse for a while. You had to repeat just how pretty you were a number of times.

Choso Kamo

- SWEETEST MOTHER FUCKER I SWEAR

- He doesn't see a single flaw in you, honestly.

- Plus, he doesn't really understand beauty standards. All he knows is he loves every inch of you.

- Nothing goes unloved by this big ass baby.

- You crying would probably bring him to tears because he feeds off your emotion.

- But there is no doubt this man will do anything and everything to see your smile again.

- A true king who just wants his queen as happy as she makes him.

He left you for maybe an hour. Maybe. Choso just had to run and pick up a movie from Yuji.

"Angel, Yuji said that we have to-" He drops the movie the instant he sees tears in your eyes. "L-love? What happened?"

He rushes to your side and wastes no time wrapping you in his strong embrace. Your hands grip his shirt in a feeble attempt to pull him closer.

"What happened? Do you need something? A doctor?" His eyes are scanning your body for any signs of pain. His hands running gently over your back, arm, sides, but everything seems normal.

"I-I'm okay, Cho." "No, you aren't. Please, angel, don't lie to me." His own eyes start to fill with tears, but he tries to will them away. He knows he shouldn't be crying, but seeing you in any pain hurts him just as much.

"Cho, I just.. It's stupid." His large hands cup your face so you're forced to meet his eyes. "Nothing that makes you cry is stupid. Absolutely nothing, my love."

"I.. I tried to put on a hoodie of yours because I was cold." He blinks in confusion. "Was.. was it dirty?" "No I.. I stretched it out.." he tilts his head.

"Is that all?" You nod, but even more tears come to your eyes. "I just hate how big I am.. I thought you would find it cute to come home and see me in your clothes but.. I just messed them up.." He stands, suddenly walking into the kitchen. "C-Cho?"

"I bought some of your favorite ice cream. You know, the kind you always crave on your period. I figure we can cuddle and you can enjoy it while we watch a movie."

"I- I don't really want anything to eat." He smiles, still grabbing it and a spoon. "I know, but just in case. Listen," he places the carton on the table next to you, "you're gorgeous. Every part of you just screams beauty. Nothing could ever change that. Not your size, not you stretching out a stupid hoodie, not you crying, nothing."

He opens the carton, only to get a spoonful out and kneel in front of you. "Open up, angel." You do as he says and allow him to feed you the ice cream. You can't help but smile as you eat it.

His index finger wipes a few old tears from your cheeks. "There's that smile I love. Now, I think we need a movie and some cuddles. How does that sound?" You can only nod, absolutely floored by how much Choso truly loves you.

No more negative thoughts came to your mind while you laid against his chest. He even took a few times to feed you more ice cream throughout the movie.

Oh yeah, he totally bought new hoodies in a bigger size so you could wear them around the house without fear of stretching them.

Kento Nanami

- KING ENERGY

- You can't tell me this man doesn't want someone who acts as his pillow. Come on.

- That being said, Nanami knows how it is to be insecure.

- Whether it's over body insecurity or not, that can be argued either way. Still, insecurities aren't something he's ignorant about.

- On days where you can't seem to like your body, he'll do whatever you need.

- Need to be alone? No problem. Need someone to talk to you? Covered. Just need to be told you're loved? He'll tell you as many times as it takes.

- However, he can't help but be blunt. That's just who he is.

- He does it out of love for you, though. He never wants you to believe something that isn't true.

It's really hard for you and Nanami to get the same day off of work, and today was no different. Since you were the one working today, Nanami decided to take up cleaning the house and preparing dinner. He would also insist on doing the dishes, but he knew better. You never allow him to do all of the work.

He watched the clock hit five thirty and smiled. No doubt, that was your car he heard pull into the driveway. Now that you were home, he could surprise you by telling you that he managed to get the next five days off, which matched your schedule.

The front door opens, and he's quick to call out a "Welcome home, dear. Dinner will be done soon." He turns his body, preparing to catch you in his embrace as usual. However, all that happens is you call back, "Thanks, Ken."

His eyebrows furrow, and he quickly takes dinner off the stove so he can go check on you. He's not one to forget anniversaries or anything like that, so his mind is going through any possible reason you just called him Ken.

"Bad day at work, dear?" He wipes his hand on his apron as he comes around the corner. You were already sitting on the couch, eyes on your phone. "Yeah, I guess." "Okay," he sighs and sits beside you, "would you like to talk about it?" When you finally look at him, his eyes widen. Your eyes are puffy, as if you had been crying.

"Y/N.." "It's just coworker drama, Ken, don't worry too much about it." He scrunches his face. Those women you work with always pissed him off. He's noticed them staring at him whenever he brings you lunch. "Well, humor me a bit. What happened today?"

He just knows you can't resist gossiping with him after a work day. "I-I don't want to repeat it, Ken." The worried look in his eyes makes you whimper. "What?"

"I'm not used to you calling me 'Ken' at home." "Sorry, honey. It's nothing you did." He smiles softly and reaches to cup one of your cheeks in his hand. "Are you sure you don't want to tell me?" You do. God, you do because you know you'll cry again and he'll be here to hold you through it.

"They started talking about you." "Me?" "Yeah," you look at your hands, already feeling your chest tighten, "and started laughing at how you're.. settling for someone who is as big as I am.."

Nanami's soft looks suddenly turns harsh. How dare they say stuff like that? What's worse is he's sure they knew you could hear them!

"Really?" When you nod, a tear falls onto your lap. "It just.. really hurt knowing that I'm not the only one who thinks that." "Y/N.." He pulls you into a hug with a soft sigh.

"Don't think like that. Dear, if I wanted anything different than what I have now, you would know it." You sigh and cuddle into his warm embrace. "I know, but-" "But nothing, my love. I love you, only you, forever you. Do you understand?" You glance up and he places a soft kiss on your forehead.

"Yeah.. I love you too, Kento." "I have an idea." "Uh huh?" His smirk has you worried. "Well, we both have the next five days off.." "We do?!"

The excitement in your voice has him chuckling. "There's my pretty laugh. Yes, we do. I'm thinking on your first day back.. you go in with a ring on your finger."

You blink in confusion. "K-Kento, you don't-" "Oh I do. Am I the person to joke about wanting to marry you?" Your eyes start to fill, yet again, with tears. However, these tears make Nanami also tear up a bit.

"Are you... asking..?" "I have a ring just for you in my suit jacket, Y/N. Just say you'll marry me." He isn't really expecting you to jump on him, so when you do, he falls from the couch to the floor. "You know I'll marry you, Ken!"

The two of you share a long kiss, complete with tears and laughter. "Well, now that that's decided. I think we should get a head start on something." "What would that be?"

He stands before securing you in his arms bridal style. "The Prehoneymoon." "That isn't a thing, honey." He smirks before playfully smacking your ass. "For you, Mrs. Nanami, anything is possible."

@katgalle @savonline

[valwentinefics]

can you please write zemo x reader when he gets jealous bc she gives someone else her attention (fluff)

A/N: I’m not sure if I like this or not but I tried to write it a few times and this was the one I liked the most. I hope you enjoy it anon! Ty for requesting!

I cannot think of one reason why I wouldn’t love you - Zemo X F!Reader

Warnings: Description of cleaning a wound (not too detailed)

Y/n never thought Zemo considered her as more than an ally, but as she re-bandaged Sam’s bullet wound she began to rethink that. Y/n pressed the wipe against the wounded area, carefully cleaning up the blood as the Baron huffed in the background, sipping his whiskey indignantly. Y/n chose to ignore his childish act, grabbing hydrogen peroxide and putting it on a cotton ball, dabbing at the wound and receiving a wince from Sam.

“Shit that hurts.” He groaned, looking at Y/n as she worked.

“If it hurts that means it’s working.” Y/n laughed, putting the cotton ball aside and grabbing the gauze and bandage, wrapping it tightly around his arm and giving it a small kiss. “All better.”

The sound of a cup being slammed down and swift footsteps followed shortly after, causing Sam and Y/n to look at eachother with confusion. It was odd for Zemo to be acting like this. Normally he was very cool and collected, Y/n didn’t know what was going on with him. Frankly,she was worried about the man. Spending so much time with her hospitable unlikely ally made her warm up to him in an odd way, and in that same odd way she didn’t like to see him upset.

“I’m gonna see what's up with him, is there anything else you need?” Y/n asked Sam, standing up and tossing out the cotton ball and wipes she had used.

“I’ll be fine. Call for me if you need backup.” Sam smiled at Y/n, going from laying down to sitting up with a soft groan. Y/n returned his smile and headed to Zemo’s room.

Nervously Y/n approached the room at the end of the hall, hesitating as she stood in front of it. What if he wanted to be alone right now? Y/n didn’t want to intrude but she was curious as to why he had been acting so strange. With a deep breath Y/n knocked her knuckles against the dark wood door. Shuffling could be heard behind it before it swung open and she came face to face with Zemo.

“Helmut, can I come in?” Y/n asked. Despite not being too close with him, Y/n preferred to call him Helmut, it was the least she could do when he was being so hospitable to her and her friends. She didn’t hate him as much as Sam and Bucky. Although she still held a grudge against him for what he had done to her friends, she understood his motivations and sympathized with him.

“Of course Y/n.” He said, opening the door wider and stepping aside to let her in. The room was beautiful and spacious, everything someone would expect from the room of a Baron. 

She stepped into his room carefully, worried she could somehow dirty the impeccably clean area. “I was worried about you after you stormed off. What happened?” Y/n asked carefully, not wanting to upset him by asking.

Zemo inhaled sharply, looking down at the ground. It took him a few moments to respond as if he was working up the courage to say something. “I intended to say this in another way but after what happened I feel as if I should say it now. I have deep feelings for you Y/n, and seeing you tending to someone else makes me…”

“Jealous?” Y/n finished for him, receiving a scowl from Zemo.

“Y/n, I am a Baron, I do not get jealous.” He said looking away. “But about my feelings” He sighed. “Do you feel the same way? If not just say so and I will leave you alone.”

Y/n wasn’t sure what to say, but standing in front of the unusually vulnerable man in front of her made her realize something. She loved the way his voice sounded, smooth yet with a slight rough edge, his accent peaking through more when he was passionate about something. She loved the way he looked in that jacket, strong and intimidating, yet his face looked soft and kind. She loved his intelligence, his prowess in battle, his kindness to his unlikely allies and devotion to those he loved. She loved everything that made up Helmut Zemo, and so she realized she loved him.

“I think I feel the same way. But why would you have feelings for me? I go against your code by supporting Bucky!” Y/n asked, not understanding the situation. Part of her was worried this was just a manipulation tactic, his confession came out of nowhere, but there was another stronger part of her that truly believed he was genuine.

Without a pause Zemo began to speak. “You’re intelligent, strong. You stick up for what you believe in with no care if others may think badly of you but you also treat those who go against you with a respect they don’t deserve. You treated me with kindness despite what I did to your friends, and by god are you beautiful. I cannot think of one reason why I wouldn’t love you.” 

He looked at her, his brown eyes meeting her own e/c ones as his hand’s held Y/n’s gently as if she would disappear out of his grasp. Y/n realized it must have been hard for him to love again after losing so much and so she vowed silently to herself that she would never intentionally leave or harm the unusually vulnerable Baron in front of her. With the hesitation of a teenager’s first kiss Y/n leaned into him and met his lips with her own, feeling sparks throughout her body as their lips moved in sync, his arm wrapping around her waist and her hand cupping his cheek gently.

“Hey Y/n I think I fucked up my bandage-” The two split apart at Sam’s voice, seeing him standing in the hallway behind the door they forgot to close. “What the hell!”

Y/n let out a giggle at Sam’s confused face, knowing she wouldn’t let go of her newfound love despite what he or Bucky had to say.

[cloverfics]

sweethearts ; bakugou katsuki

warnings shy!reader, shy!katsuki, mutual pining, and not edited

genre fluff, f2ls

word count 2.5k

inspiration n/a

synopsis in which you and the rest of the bakusquad are apart of the candygram committee and you take the opportunity to make a move on one stubborn katsuki

"This is so stupid." Katsuki sighed, feet hiked up onto his desk. It was around the umpteenth time that he had mentioned how useless or well— stupid this whole thing is.

You frowned, tying another ribbon around a baggie. "Aw, c'mon, Kat. It's the day of love, be more cheerful." You said, tossing him a chocolate.

He scoffed. "No. And stop calling me Kat." The following demand was mumbled as Katsuki turned his attention to opening the candy.

"Sure thing, Kat." You whipped around, imagining the irritated expression he was channeling because of your antics.

"C'mon Mina! How many do I have!" Denki whined, trying his best to juke the clipboard of names from Mina's hands. Something he's been doing all morning.

From the left of you, Kirishima let out a breath of laughter. "Dude, just wait and see." He assured Denki.

"Exactly. The surprise is the most fun part about this thing." Mina added on while she gently shoved Denki away from her.

"Not if dunceface doesn't get any." Katsuki sneered, sending Denki into a further sulk.

You sucked you teeth, preparing to reprimand Katsuki but Sero interjected first. "I wonder if you're getting anything today, Bakugou."

Almost on cue, the smug smirk on Katsuki's face simmers down into a scowl. He scoffed, "I could care less if I got one of those pathetic bags today! I can buy my own damn candy!" As he was getting chewed out, Sero could only chuckle.

Sending a sneaky glance towards you. You sighed, tuning out Katsuki's continous speech about how candygrams were pointless and how he didn't even want any.

In the corner of your eye you could see a sympathic smile on Kirishima's lips. He nudged your arm, "Nonetheless, you should still give it to him," He whispered into your ear.

Tossing another baggie into the box next to Jirou, you nodded.

"It'll make his day, I promise."

ฺ｡*:･

"Woah... seventeen for Yaomomo," Jirou blinked a couple times as your class erupted in a wave of teasing while Momo shuffled her way up to the front.

"Just take the whole damn box." Denki bitterly jutted it out her. He doubled over suddenly when Mina took said box and hit him in the stomach.

"Sorry, he's being very negative today." She handed Yaomomo her designated number of bags, making Denki help her to her desk.

You giggled softly. Your class was the last one for today, thankfully. Somehow, you had already grown sick to the smell of chalky sweets, even if your name hasn't been called yet.

"Twelve for Todoroki," Shoto came up to the front as dazed as ever while Denki muttered a very distasteful shocker under his breath.

Katsuki scoffed from his spot next you, leaning his back against the classroom chalk board. "Can't I go back to my desk?" He groaned.

Sero sucked his teeth, forming a conversation while Jirou's monotonous call continued. "Seeing as you didn't lift a finger all day I think you should be able to."

He prepared a smug smirk for Katsuki's explosive comeback but before he could speak through his gritted teeth, Aizawa had already shushed them.

"Two for Denki," A giggle that she covered up immediately with her hand fell from Jirou's lips and the classroom followed suit with a fit of snickers.

You could've sworn you say Denki's eye twitch before being handed two baggies by a grinning Mina. "Hey! That's two more than last year, right buddy?" Kirishima smacked Denki on the back in attempt to comfort.

"I don't think he wants words from someone who got seven more than him, Kiri." You whispered, noticing the way Denki borderline shook under Kirishima's hand.

"Four for ___." Your laughing fit with Kirishima was interrupted by your own name being called and Mina handing you your treats.

"Tch. What four imbeciles went out of their way to buy one of those for you?" Katsuki mused before you could speak yourself.

"You smell that," you sniffed around, Katsuki's eyes narrowed at you. "I smell pure jealousy." Your bags were waved in Katsuki's face for a moment before he was swatting your hands away.

"And last but certainly not least, one for Katsuki." Your heart skipped a beat. Not just at the mention of his name like it usually did but because you knew that one bag was purchased by you for him.

You were eager to look over and see the confused look on Katsuki's face you knew he was wearing but your heart was already beating in your ears so loud that you were in a stand still.

The thoughts you've had that always followed since you even got the idea to give him one started to roam freely.

Would he be grossed out? Would he be curious? What if he already suspects you because you're being obvious? And what if, miraculously, Kirishima's right and it makes his day?

But instead of laying any of those raging questions to rest, Katsuki accepts his bag from Mina silently. No snarky comment, no anger, just a soft tint of pink layering his cheeks as he looked at the packaging he had seen a hundred times already.

"Alright, thanks for finally wrapping that up, Jirou. Don't get those candy wrappers on my floor, I'm taking a nap." Mister Aizawa waved you all off like he always did and found home in that yellow sleeping bag.

While your committee cleaned up the boxes, the classroom fluttered with chatter. The spectrum of conversation being who they think would get them one and who they think bought something for the other person.

The cleanup was quick, so you all headed to the front where all the seats were open and gathered.

"Two. I only got two." Denki finally awoke from his daze to the realization.

You laughed, taking one from your bunch and leaning over to Denki. "I can share one of mine. Not really a fan of sweethearts."

But Denki still proved to be bitter, slapping your bag away. "I don't need your pity candy, ___."

You snorted. "Okay, suit yourself."

"So, it turns out Kat actually got one. You owe me twenty bucks Jirou." Sero made grabby hands at the girl who scoffed and immediately went into her bag.

You expected the usual antics to come from Katsuki who sat in his usual desk, one ahead of you. But again, there was no yelling, or anger, just a scoff and a glare.

"You idiots bet on me?" He asked.

"Hey, I thought it was easy money since I know exactly who would've got you one. Thankfully, they pulled through." Sero collected his cash with glee while you broke out into a cold sweat. Your eyes darted to Sero, a threatening message within them that you're sure he understood.

"Who?" Katsuki tried to make it seem like he didn't really care with the tone he used. But he was genuinely curious, you could tell. Which made you sweat more.

Katsuki sucked his teeth. "It was probably you, so you could get the money." The breath of relief you took was like no other, you visibly relaxed.

Sero chuckled. "No sir, I spent no money on candygrams. So, keep on guessing."

Fortunately, the bell rang, signaling that class and school as a whole was over. Your class flooded out, all walking to your dorm together in the usual group. Kirishima found his way to you in the crowd, bumping your hip.

"See, I told you." He pointed to a couple feet away where Katsuki walked ahead, bag still in hand as he stared down at it.

You felt your face start to heat up, nudging him with your elbow. "Maybe he's weirded out."

Kirishima scoffed. "If you told him it was from you, I assure you then you'll know it made his day."

A sigh had your body slumping. "I don't know, Kiri. I've managed to keep a good friendship with Kat. It's risky enough that I bought him one but confessing is another thing."

Even though you've managed to get through Katsuki's tough exterior ( kind of ), you still couldn't read him that well. How were you supposed to know when the right time to tell him was? Or if a right time even existed.

"Do it, trust me." Kirishima placed a hand on your shoulder, you gulped and darted your attention again to Katsuki's back.

ฺ｡*:･

You spent the rest of the day wallowing in your room with your inner conflict. Even ignoring the invites from your friends to spend the day watching d—list romance movies to sulk. It wasn't until later on in the evening that you came out of your room.

The dorms were less lively, almost everyone going away to their rooms to do whatever. You were convinced you were the only one in the main area until you saw Katsuki in the kitchen, unfortunately.

Your feet were ready to take you back upstairs to hide from him. But he must've heard the creaking that happened under your feet and caught you. His maroon eyes piercing right through you.

Damn it.

"Hey, Kat." You greeted awkwardly, hesitantly shuffling into the kitchen.

He nodded at you in acknowledgement, continuing to watch whatever he had in the microwave go round. The kitchen fell silent while the cogs in your head worked together to find yourself an excuse as to why you were even in here.

You shuffled through cabinets, pretending you were looking for something in particular.

"Hey," Katsuki beckoned your attention. His eyes were still trained on the microwave but obviously he was listening and waiting for your response. You hummed in answer, halting your pretend scavenging and leaning on the counter next to the fridge.

"You have any clue who bought me that baggie thing?" As he continued, his head turned to you. Your eyes enlarged at the sudden question that was accompanied by Katsuki staring you down. You felt like you were under an intense spotlight and there was no way out other than to a) lie or b) spill the beans.

Your brain was telling you to just get it over with and do the former, admit it to him confidently like Kiri had been urging you to do. Face the consequences as they came and stop hiding. So, you inhaled deeply and exhaled.

"I— uh— well, I— uh..." If you had the willpower to face palm you would, but apparently none of the signals your brain was sending were making it through to your body. Because your mouth kept opening and closing, no confession or accountability flowing out like you had hoped.

The only you could do was heat up and start sweating. The spotlight was getting hotter and more blinding.

The urge to face plant into the island ahead of you increased when Katsuki narrowed his eyes at you. The intimidating look sending chills up your spine.

You coughed. Putting an end to your stuttering and stammering. Your eyes fell to the tiles of the kitchen, hoping they'd loosen up one by one and swallow you whole.

"If there's something you want to tell me, idiot, spit it out," The microwave went off but now Katsuki could care less. He was edging towards you, arms crossed and curious to why it seemed like you were being interrogated for murder when he asked what he thought was a simple question.

Just do it.

The phrase chanted repeatedly in your head. And with the last of your dignity, you finally fulfilled your brain's request.

"I did it. I'm the one who bought the candygram..., Kat." You started off strong, but moving onto the second sentence your voice began to mellow.

You wanted to look anywhere except Katsuki but the shocked look on his face, accompanied by the tint of red covering his cheeks kept you drawn in. This time around he was staring down at the tiles, probably wishing the same thing that you were just seconds ago.

"If you did it as a joke, id—" Katsuki was about to threaten you, ready to build his walls back up but your adrenaline from fessing up was obviously still surging through you.

"No! It wasn't to prank you or anything, I did it because I like you, Kat. A lot." You paused, inhaling.

"A—and I've been meaning to tell you but I didn't know how you'd react because you're not really open. But then Kirishima told me it was a good idea, so I—" Your real self snapped back to reality in the middle of your confession, and it was apparent as you began to ramble and scratch the nape of your neck.

"Alright, enough. You sound like damn Deku." Katsuki, thankfully, put an end to your tangent that you silently agreed did sound like Izuku.

You laughed awkwardly, hoping it'd ease the tension not only in the air but in you. It felt nice to get that weight off your shoulders but oh boy did you have a lot to face. Like for example, how did Katsuki feel? Did he even reciprocate feelings? What would your friendship look like after this?

You had to know. You were dying to know. "So?" You mumbled, now fiddling with your fingers.

Katsuki's hand was at his nape like yours was moments ago. He huffed, obviously looking for the words. "You know, if you're going to confess to someone you should be more up front about it." Katsuki took short steps towards you.

You just hoped he couldn't hear your heart banging against your ribcage, because that's basically all you could focus on.

"I know." You answered.

"Tch. And I guess in saying that I should be taking my own advice." He grumbled, moving his gaze to the tile again. Your body basically perked up at the sound of that.

"Katsuki, did you send me a candygram?" Your assumption aloud make Katsuki scoff, his face heating up more and his gaze wandering even further. Now that the tables seemed to be turned, you suppressed your laughter. You had been psyching yourself out this whole time but Katsuki was basically in the same boat as you.

"So, what do we do now, Kat?" You asked, you crossed your arms. A hopeful thought that since he reciprocated your feelings a relationship would come of it.

Katsuki scoffed, dropping his arm into having them crossed again. "What did I tell you about that stupid nickname, dumbass?"

You laughed at his scowl. Thankful that even after the sudden confession between you to didn't actually tint your dynamic like you theorized it would.

Katsuki huffed, not seeking to bicker with you anymore. "Are you free this Saturday?"

"Uh, yea—"

"Alright, then. Be ready by three." That's what you were left with as Katsuki turned on his heel and left the kitchen with whatever he had in the microwave.

Your mind was still registering what had just happened, but all you could do was thank your luck and Kirishima.

[pirate-au]

A Pirate's Life for a Prince (Part 4)

Summary: Roman was a dashing Captain, content with his exciting life out at sea, diving head first into adventure both on and off land. He wouldn't give up his life for anything, and yet he found himself...lacking something. He was never sure what.

When he meets Virgil, a seemingly common traveler in an old tavern, that lacking feeling in his chest goes away for the first time in a long while. So surely there's no harm in offering the stranger and his friend a ride, right?

Notes: I owe @cheshirevalentine my life at this point <3

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 5 part 6

Roman had woken up early, the few hours of sleep he’d gotten thankfully peaceful after last night’s events- and after Logan had finally let him onto the bed and rubbed his back until he fell asleep.

He’d been up and around the ship since first light, slipping out of the cabin just as Logan had gotten up, bidding his first mate a quiet goodbye.

The Calypso was home, safe and familiar, and her decks calmed his head, his morning tasks a welcome distraction from the storm of thoughts racing through his mind.

He made his way to the bridge, trailing his fingers along the map on his desk, the battered old paper held down by various rocks and paperweights his crew had found and brought to him- like the bunch of crows they were. Roman loved them all the more for it.

He settled at the wheel, eyes on the endless sparkling ocean, singing a gentle song to himself as he watched the sunrise, content to let the hours flow peacefully by as the day began.

“Roman?”

The voice behind him was quiet, a little frantic, and the song died in Roman’s throat as he turned to find the Prince in the doorway, wide eyed and disheveled.

“Good morning, Prince Charming,” he said, forcing his tone light and turning back around. “Sleep well?”

Virgil was silent a moment, and Roman wondered if the nickname had been in poor taste before he finally spoke. “I… I’m sorry.”

“Whatever for?” he asked, keeping his tone gentle when he heard the discomfort in Virgil’s voice. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“I lied,” Virgil said. “And I freaked out on you last night and- and I had a stupid panic attack. You shouldn’t have had to see that.”

Roman frowned, turning his head to look at Virgil. “I’m upset that you weren’t upfront with me about who you were. That’s all. Your panic attack wasn’t your fault, and it’s nothing to be angry about anyway.”

“It’s still annoying so I’m… I’m really sorry. And I’m sorry for lying about- about who I am. It wasn’t fair, I shouldn't have done this to you. I don’t… know what I was thinking.”

“I’m not annoyed or upset because you had a panic attack,” Roman reiterated, turning to face the Prince. “I know how it feels, and I pretty much caused it. I'd be a hypocrite to be mad."

“Oh. It’s… fine.”

“Besides,” Roman continued, letting himself smile softly. “I understand that you had to get out. Trust me, I get it more than you know. You did what you thought you had to.”

“Yeah,” Virgil agreed, quiet and resigned. “I just… I know you have a crew to protect but you were so welcoming and I just thought… I don’t even know. I- I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Have we already turned around?”

“We aren’t turning around,” Roman said simply, and turned back to the wheel. “I told you that. You’re not going back there.”

“What?” The confusion and disbelief in Virgil’s voice made Roman’s heart twist painfully. “Yeah, you… you told me that when I was being a baby and you needed me to stop freaking out but you—”

“We're on the way to Deigh. The trip takes a while, so it will be several weeks before we get there, weather permitting. We stop in two weeks in Gladena for supplies. I wasn't telling you that to calm you down, I refuse to put you back in that situation. You don't deserve that.”

The bridge was silent, the air tense and heavy before Virgil found his voice again. “I don’t…what?”

Roman sighed, turning back around to face Virgil, dropping his arms to his sides. “You don’t deserve to go back to the people who hurt you, Virgil. You don’t deserve to be hurt. Ever again.”

“But you- you shouldn’t put yourself in danger for me,” Virgil argued, despite how clearly terrified he was to go back. “You have your ship to think about and it… it was awful of me to even ask. I… I shouldn’t have put you in this position.”

“I’m alright with a little danger, Virgil,” Roman soothed. “I’m a pirate. It’s nothing new. Thank you for your apology, but I’m not upset. I truly understand.”

Virgil stared, taking in the Captain’s words like he was trying to decipher if this was some sort of trick. He was horribly tense, eyes wary as they flickered over Roman and eyed the exit behind him.

“But, I…” he hesitated, shoulders hunching as he wrapped his arms protectively around himself. “Why aren’t you… aren’t you gonna like… do something?”

He gestured vaguely and Roman blinked, completely at a loss. “I don’t understand. What would I… do?”

Surely he didn’t mean the captain would call this a favor to repay in any way. He would never. Especially not since—

“I don’t know,” Virgil muttered. “I just thought… I figured you’d be more angry, I guess.”

“I mean, yes a little anger is justified,” Roman said, crossing his arms. “But I’m not going to hurt you. I said that, didn’t I?”

“I know.” Virgil hesitated, his bangs falling into his face when he ducked his head. “I just… couldn’t do much about it if you did. And I’d get it. I kinda deserve it, I’m putting you through a lot of stress.”

Roman’s heart damn near broke when he realized the boy in front of him, hurt and scared, wouldn’t even try to stop it if someone tried to hurt him. He thought he deserved it. He thought there was nothing he could do to protect himself, still expecting the worst.

“I—” He reached out and took a step forward, faltering when Virgil flinched, eyes wide. Roman’s face fell, slowly dropping his hand. “I won’t ever hurt you, Virgil. And should we come across anyone who would, I’d sooner shoot them between the eyes than see you hurt.”

Virgil’s voice was small when he spoke, dangerously unsteady. “Why? I mean, I- thank you but… we just met. And I lied to you! How do you know that I don’t… deserve it?”

Roman clasped his hands in front of him, guilt seizing his chest as his eyes dropped to the ground, lips pursed. He could remember feeling like this. It wasn't that long ago- how could he ever forget? Breaking down in front of Logan had been cathartic, of course he'd be able to sympathize with Virgil.

“No one deserves to be abused,” he said quietly. “Especially not you.”

Virgil scoffed, too small and quiet to be filled with any malice. “Patton is the only other person to ever think that, and he likes everyone. So don’t feel too bad if you change your mind.”

“I won’t change my mind,” Roman assured without hesitation. He frowned, fiddling with his still unloaded gun in his belt. “You don’t deserve to be hurt. I don’t want you to be hurt.”

He could see the tears gathering in Virgil’s eyes, the Prince desperately trying to hold them back. “I don’t know why you’re being so nice but… thank you. Thank you so much. I… I have no idea how to repay you.”

Roman was close to tearing up himself, swallowing hard around the lump forming in his throat.

“I- this is perhaps out of hand,” he said, and for once his voice was small. Confined to just the two of them. “Can I hug you? Is that alright?”

Virgil nodded quickly, then winced like he would be punished for his enthusiasm despite Roman being the one to offer in the first place. But he dropped his arms and took a cautious step forward, eyes still glued to the ground.

The Captain made his way towards the Prince, hesitant at first, careful not to spook Virgil. After that first, terrifying step towards each other Roman swiftly made it to Virgil’s side, no hesitation in wrapping his arms around the smaller man and holding him tight.

“I’m so sorry I scared you,” he whispered. “You don’t deserve to be hurt, I promise. You’re safe here.”

He felt Virgil’s breath hitch, listening with a crumbling heart as the Prince quietly cried into his chest, reaching up to return the hug and clutch at Roman’s jacket. “Thank you. I… I really really don’t want to go back.”

“You’re not going back.” Roman held him, hoping that he could at least provide the young man some comfort. It was all he could do for him, other than go back and kill every bastard that had ever dared to touch him. "Never again. You're not alone.”

“But what if… what if they come after me? What if- what if they—”

“Then they’ll be the first ones I run through with my sword,” Roman declared. “They won’t lay a finger on you ever again. You’re safe.”

Roman would say it a million times over if it meant Virgil would believe him. He meant every word. Virgil was safe here, and he always would be. He didn’t dare pull back, not with how desperately the Prince was holding him.

“It’s okay,” he said, dropping his forehead to rest on Virgil’s head when the young man only continued to sob. “I promise it’s okay. We’ll get you to Deigh, you’ll be safe there.”

“I’m sorry.” Virgil was right back to apologizing, barely audible from where his face was buried in Roman’s chest. “I’m so sorry for all of this. I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me.”

“Don’t apologize,” Roman said, hand stroking Virgil’s hair. “I’m here. I’ll be okay, and so will you. You’re safe.”

Roman was careful to keep an eye on Virgil as his breathing evened out and the tears seemed to slow. He’d let go at the first sign of discomfort, of course, but holding Virgil in his arms felt… right somehow. It had been a long time since someone had seemed to need him like this. Pulling Virgil close, his silent oath to protect the young prince made the Captain’s chest feel impossibly light. Like he really could do anything to keep this young man safe.

Roman didn’t want to let go. He never wanted to let go. With Virgil here in his arms, he knew for sure that the young prince was safe. Nothing could touch him here, tucked away against Roman’s chest.

When Virgil eventually loosened his hold Roman was disappointed, but he made no move to restrain him, letting Virgil lift his head from the Captain’s chest.

“Why, hello there beautiful.” Roman took his hand back to cup Virgil’s cheek, brushing away some of the lingering tears with his thumb. “Nice to see you again.”

Virgil’s face ran red immediately, but he smiled. “Yeah. Nice to see you too.”

Roman knew his cheeks were painted with a similar flush, though Virgil’s blush did something to Roman’s stomach that he couldn’t quite explain without a lot of pained pining and sappy words.

“I really am sorry for scaring you,” he said instead, moving a piece of hair out of Virgil’s eyes and tucking it behind his ear. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Virgil assured, and Roman’s heart nearly soared when he leaned into the touch. “You were doing what you thought was right. I’m… sorry for scaring you, too.”

“It’s alright,” Roman soothed, voice hushed. “We’re okay now.”

“Thank you for doing this for me.”

Roman had felt romantic love before, of course. His poor, bleeding heart fell easily and hard but this… this didn’t feel like all those other quick, passionate bursts of love.

This felt like a powerful burn, deep in his chest. It wasn’t love, he knew. He’d met this man just days ago, and though Roman was impulsive and quick to act, even he didn’t fall in love that quickly.

But there was something deep in his chest that pulled desperately at his hands, begging him to hold the Prince before him. He pulled back slowly, eyes opening to watch Virgil for a moment.

“Can I—” He stopped, then started again before he lost his nerve. “I’m sorry, you can say no, but may I—?”

“Heavens! Are we interrupting something?”

Roman practically vaulted away from Virgil, the Prince scrambling back at the same time. The Captain ended up latched to the wheel, his face bright red, Virgil ending up a few paces away looking more confused and startled than embarrassed.

“Oh, goodness!” Patton gasped from the doorway, and he looked a bit like he would be giggling if he wasn’t doing his best to look guilty. “I’m sorry, boys! I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Not startled in the least, good morning, Patton!” Roman managed to squawk out, face only growing hotter when he noticed Logan standing at Patton’s shoulder, eyebrow raised.

Oh, God. Fuck. He almost kissed Virgil. He almost kissed Virgil. Oh, God.

“It’s ok, Pat,” Virgil said, and he sounded much more calm than the Captain did. He wondered if Virgil even realized what Roman had been about to ask. “We’re fine.”

Roman wanted nothing more than to go back to Virgil, to hold him close again, but he stubbornly glued his eyes to the sea. A childish part of him wanted to turn and glare at Patton, but he knew better.

“Alright kiddo,” Patton relented. “My bad. I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just wanted to check on you two kids. Isn’t that right, Logan?”

Logan let out a long suffering sigh, visibly uncomfortable with the situation and probably a bit confused, but he nodded and turned his attention to Roman. “I’ve already explained last night’s situation to Patton. I was just helping him look for Virgil.”

“Isn’t he sweet?” Patton winked at Virgil, patting Logan’s arm. “Anyways, how about you boys come with us to the galley? I’m starving.”

“A splendid idea,” Roman said, pushing down how badly he wished to do anything else, namely go back to holding Virgil. “Better get to breakfast before the crew takes more than their share.”

“Actually,” Patton chirped, pausing in the doorway to send Roman a cold, deceptively sweet smile. “I think I need to talk to our Captain for a moment. How about you go with Logan, Virgil? We’ll meet you two down there in a bit.”

Roman froze, turning to Logan with wide, pleading eyes. Dear God, let his impossibly dense first mate get the hint and stay.

“That’s a good idea,” Logan said, turning to Roman with a look that told the Captain he definitely did get the hint, and was choosing to ignore it. Goddamnit. “You’ve had a long morning, Virgil. I’ll escort you down and make you a plate.”

Roman cleared his throat, trying and failing to get Logan’s attention again. “Well, I—”

“Well, thank you Logan!” Patton interrupted, and Virgil made his way over, clearly oblivious to the rising tension. “Roman and I will be down in just a minute, okay Virgil?”

“Yeah,” Virgil muttered, sending roman a timid smile over his shoulder. “See you there.”

Roman was going to kill Logan.

Logan was careful not to crowd Virgil, stepping aside to let him through the doorway before following with one last glance at his Captain. Patton waited until the two were gone before turning back to Roman, all traces of his cheerful smile gone.

Roman cleared his throat again, forcing himself to meet the man’s eyes. “Hello, Patton.”

“Captain.”

“I, uhm…” he trailed off to rub at the back of his neck, frozen under Patton’s stare. The protective ferocity in his glare easily reminded Roman of a mother bear. “I- I do apologize for overstepping. My intentions were never to—”

Patton cut him off with a sharp sigh, and Roman quickly shut his mouth. “I don’t need you to explain, Captain. It’s not like I’m here to ban you from speaking to Virgil ever again.”

“Ah,” Roman said. “You’re not?”

“No, kiddo,” Patton assured, and for a moment he was back to the friendly traveler Roman had met in that tavern. “I wouldn’t do that to him.”

“Oh.”

“He was enjoying it,” Patton continued. “When you were holding him, I could see it in his eyes that he felt safe. But I know him. If he didn’t want to kiss you he’d have a hard time saying no, especially after the night he had.”

Roman’s cheeks burned, heat rising ruthlessly to his face, and he nodded sheepishly. “I know. I know it was- it was stupid of me.”

“It was,” Patton agreed. “You seem like a very nice young man, but I raised that boy, Roman. I’ve seen… I’ve seen a lot of not nice people do a lot of cruel things to him. I couldn’t protect him then, but I can now.”

Roman swallowed, Virgil’s fear and desperation replaying like a loop in his head, guilt rising in his chest. “I understand.”

“I don’t think you do.” Patton’s face hardened, and he took a staggeringly threatening step forward. “If you so much as lay a finger on Virgil without his very clear and enthusiastic consent, not one single person on this ship will ever find your body. Am I understood, Captain?”

Roman blinked, throat suddenly dry, feeling a bit like Patton had just dumped a bucket of ice water over his head. “I… uh. Okay. Yes, sir.”

“Oh, you can just call me Patton, kiddo!” Patton chirped. His smile was back, just as cheerful and genuine as before, and he quickly stepped out of the Captain’s space. “Come on, let’s not keep the others waiting.”

And with that Patton turned and made his way off the bridge to the dining hall without waiting for the Captain. Roman followed, slightly shell shocked, refusing to look at Logan for the rest of the morning.

Taglist:

@i-really-like-dragons @stitches-system @poettheythem @remy-the-lemon-berry @shrubs-and-bushes @i-sexually-identify-as-a-mistake @wordsmithandworm @the-dead-and-the-decaying @hope340 @winterwynd @thomas-sanders-tothe-standers @angstysunshine @sunshineandteddybears @pixelated-pineapple @fire-and-ash67

[chaoticpuff17]

When the Chips are Down

part 5

masterlist

hello my darlings! It’s a little short of a chapter, but I was just to excited for this confrontation. enjoy!--- chaotic puff

Namjoon would have been stupid not to notice the icy demenor that Y/N regarded him with as they sat down to lunch in the garden. She’d been reserved before, cold even, but she was positively frigid now. 

“Is everything alright, Jagi.” he set down his utensils and reached across the table to take her hand, but she moved it away glaring at him. 

“I’m fine.” she flashed him a smile that never failed to make him nervous. It was thick with false sweetness that warned him of the storm brewing beneath the saccharine expression. “It’s only that I learned some very interesting things today, and it’s left me wondering why you bothered to look for me at all.” 

Namjoon stiffened in his seat, his gaze sharp and guarded as he regarded her. He knew that whatever she had up her sleeve was going to be deeply unpleasant for him. “What do you mean, jagi.” he asked carefully. 

“You apparently kept very busy while I was away.” she scoffed pushing around her food. The sight of fish made her stomach turn, but both Namjoon and Miss In had insisted that omega three was good for the baby. 

“You kept me on my toes looking for you.” he kept his tone neutral, waiting to see what she would say, but he had a sinking feeling he knew exactly what she was talking about. 

“You and I both know that’s not what I meant.” she scoffed, setting down her own utensils. “So much for being the only woman for you.” 

If it was possible, Namjoon became even more tense. The fact that Y/N looked like the cat that ate the canary wasn’t helping anything either. They both knew that she had all the leverage in this argument. It was his own fault anyway, and he shouldn’t have been surprised that Sen had told her. The woman had no love for him, and more than one reason to sympathize with his wife. 

“Y/N.” he sighed, taking a deep breath in preparation for what was to come. “I don’t know what you were told…”

“I think you know exactly what I was told.” 

“Y/N, jagi.” 

“Clearly you have women waiting in the wings for you. Why ruin my life?” she asked, leaning back in her chair, a hand resting against her belly as she glared at him, jaw set stubbornly in a look that made her look more imperious than normal. Namjoon would have been lying if he said he didn’t find it to be a very attractive look. 

“I love you.” 

“Do you?” she asked, quirking a brow. “I don’t think married men typically sleep with other women, prostitutes in fact, when they’re in love, but I could be wrong.” 

“Jagi.” 

“You could have easily found another woman. Why ruin my life?” she asked again, her gaze intent. 

“Jagiya,” he sighed hoping to defuse this before it got any worse and already planning the chat he was going to have with Yoongi about what was appropriate information for Sen and Y/N to pass back and forth. “How could I live without you, without our child?” She was unmoved. “You were gone, jagiya.” he huffed, giving up on sweet pleas. They wouldn’t work on her anyway. “You betrayed me. I was frustrated, hurt, alone. What did you expect me to do?” 

“I expect you to leave me alone.” she huffed, rolling her eyes. “Maybe even let me go. You can always have a bastard with someone else.” 

“Don’t.” he growled, tone low and angry. “Don’t you dare talk about our child like that.” 

“My child.” she growled back. “Who says you have anything to do with it?” 

He barked out a laugh at that. “Do you expect me to believe that that child isn’t mine?” he asked, gesturing towards her belly. “We both know that you’re too far along for that to be anyone else’s child, and we both know I would kill anyone who dared to touch you like that.” 

“But you can touch someone else like that?” she mused, keeping her tone purposefully neutral. “That’s very hypocritical of you, but what else should I expect from someone like you, a kidnapper, a rapist.” 

She watched with a deep sense of satisfaction as Namjoon reeled back from her words as though she had physically struck him. The truth hurts. 

“Jagiya..” 

“What else could you possibly call it?” 

“Jagi…”

“Go back to your whores, Namjoon. I have no use for you.” 

She stood up from her seat, throwing her napkin down on the table as she went. Her belly made her dramatic exit slower than she would have liked, but that was the least of her problems when she felt Namjoon’s arms circle around her, trapping her in his embrace. 

“No.” He growled into her hair, his arms tightening even more as she tried to wiggle away from him. “You don’t get to walk away from me, not again.” 

“Let go.” she hissed trying to land a decent kick to his shin, but Namjoon was having none of it. 

“You don’t get to criticize me after you left me, after you took my child from me.” he hissed, voice becoming deeper and more venomous as he went. She’d certainly managed to strike a nerve. 

She turned in his arms so she could face him, though his grip tightened around her again as soon as she was staring up into his eyes. “You don’t get to criticize me for protecting myself. I loathe you with every fiber of my being.”

“You can loathe me all you want, my love, but you are never leaving me again for as long as we both shall live. Even in death, you will still be mine.” 

“I’m glad you’re willing to accept my loathing. It’s the only thing you’ll ever get from me.” she spat. 

“One day, you’ll be begging for me, jagi.” he promised, eyes glimmering with dark intent. 

“Keep dreaming.” 

“I have all the time in the world, jagi.” 

“I’m not one of your lackeys, Kim Namjoon. You don’t own me.” 

“My name on your shoulder would say otherwise.” It was a low blow on his part, but she had her own tricks up her sleeve.

She grinned up at him,  her eyes glimmering with their own sort of dark mirth. “Didn’t you know? It’s not there anymore.” She took particular glee in watching the confusion brush over Namjoon’s features. “It was one of the first things I did when I was free of you.” 

“You’ll never be free of me.” 

“I did a pretty good job for the past eight months, and you got along without me quite well.” 

“Jagi…”

She cut him off before he could continue. “I don’t care what you do. You can have anyone else, as many someone elses as you want, just leave me out of it.” 

“I don’t want anyone else.” 

“Your actions would say otherwise.” she scoffed. “I don’t particularly care, but I think we can both agree that there’s no need for me to remain in your bed.” 

A slow smirk spread across his features as a new deeply delicious thought crossed his mind. “Jealous, jagiya?” 

Her eyes widened in disbelieving shock and fury. “As if.” 

“I think you are.” he laughed, loosening his grip around her so that he could gently brush his thumb across her lips. “Don’t worry, jagi. You’re the only woman in my life.” 

“You can have as many women as you want as long as you leave me alone.” she hissed, batting his hand away. 

“Why would I want anyone else when I have you?” he cooed, that stupid smile still on his face. 

“Please, take anyone else. I’d throw them a damn parade.” she growled pushing herself out of his arms. 

“I’ll have no one else.” 

“It’s a little late for that.” she spat, glaring at him.

“Sit down, jagi. You need to eat.” He laughed, all traces of bad humor gone from his features. “If you’re a good girl for me, I might just have a surprise for you tomorrow.” 

“I don’t want you surprises. They’re never any good for me.” she scoffed, but Namjoon was undeterred, steering her back to the table. 

“You’ll like this one.” He promised. 

“I doubt that.” 

“Eat.” 

She could grouse all she wanted, but Namjoon was on cloud nine knowing she was jealous. It wasn’t much in actuality, but it felt like the world to him. He’d have her love, even if it killed him. 

part 6

[sirthisisa-wendys]

The Enforcers Part 2: Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader

synopsis: there's no forgiveness for the sinful.

wc: 1.3k

tw: none

masterlist

Your eyes are glued to the man in front of you as he taps his pen on the table, waiting for the assignment from the Grand Council.

“Can you stop that?” you quip, and he pauses his tapping, glancing at you before setting his pen down.

You sit back in your chair, sighing, wishing your parents could have done anything to fix the issue in front of you. But when you called, they sympathized with you before admitting there was nothing they could do.

“Think of it this way,” your father murmured. “Now you have even more of an opportunity to show how strong and capable you are. This is a gift to you, y/n. You can make the best out of this situation.” The inspirational chatter didn’t cut through the fact that this Leviathan could very well get you killed, and there was nothing to be done about it.

“Sorry about the wait,” Gojo grumbles, entering the room and taking his sunglasses off. “I had to bring Yuji and Choso down from their overexcitement. Okay,” Satoru closes the door to your shared living space, tossing a file onto the table. “First task. There’s an exclusive club downtown named ‘Sinful’. I need you, y/n, to go in and infiltrate the club for one week. Doesn’t matter what you pose as, but I need some information about the club owner.” You flip open the manilla folder and look at the pale face of your target, who only goes by ‘Mahito’. Get in, dig up some dirt, get out. Geto, I need you to pose as a bouncer and bring his second-in-command to the warehouse uptown.” Geto takes the picture of his second in command, Uraume, and nods. “And make sure you watch y/n’s back. If she gets into a sticky situation--”

“Get her out,” Geto affirms, and Gojo stands.

“Good. Gather intel today, y/n, and go in tomorrow. I expect to see a report on my desk next week at seven o’clock.” You get up and leave the room without Geto, making your way back to your barrack and going straight to the computer in your room.

“Y/n, can I talk to you?” you hear behind you, and you turn to face the man in the doorway.

“Sure,” you chirp, pretending to be civil for a moment.

“You have an issue with me,” Suguru states, walking into your space. “I want to know what it is.”

“You literally got your Kitsune killed last year, and they won’t reassign me. I don’t have any respect for you.” You turn back to your computer and roll your eyes, typing in names and pulling data.

“You don’t know the whole story, do you?”

“Should I?” you ask, not looking back at the man.

“You should.” You hear the creak of your bed dipping, and you turn away from the computer, mouth open to yell at him for sitting on your bed. But when you see him bite his lip and look at his hands, you stop, waiting to hear him out. “Let me start off by saying that it wasn’t on purpose. I would have never…” Suguru gulps hard. “I would have never sent Yu into that mission if I knew he would have died.”

“But he did.”

“It wasn’t my fault. It was a trap from the start, and Yu didn’t know… we were set up. And I couldn’t get to him fast enough, which is why he died. He was long gone when I arrived.”

“So, why didn’t they say that you were set up?” you question, but he shakes his head, looking at his trembling fingers.

“Because why would they give a Leviathan an excuse when they need someone to blame? And now, I’m supposed to be guarding a child of a Kitsune legacy, and--”

“You’re terrified of a tragedy happening again,” you finish for him, and Geto nods slowly.

“I know I won’t make it out alive if you die on my watch. The Grand Council will exile me… or worse. And the price I paid for letting Yu’s life slip through my fingers was enough to scar me for life.” You eye him carefully, assessing whether he’s telling you a sob story or the truth.

“I don’t believe you,” you quip, and Suguru’s eyes lift up to meet yours in surprise. “Listen, once we finish this mission and get back, I’m not going on another with you even if they kick me out of the CSB. I’ll tell them you redeemed yourself and can go back to being someone else’s Leviathan.”

“Y/n, I--”

“I’m done talking about it.” You turn back to your computer and continue your data search, letting a sigh out when the door to your room closes behind him.

_____________________________________________________________

The exclusive club’s bass pulses loud enough to potentially blow your eardrums out. You’re standing at the bar, mixing a drink while patrons mill about, conversing and watching the show on stage. Geto is standing inside the door, arms crossed over his chest as if he were a big-shot bouncer, but you both know he could handle whatever comes through that door with ease. Your eyes meet briefly, and he nods, but you look away, focusing on your target.

As you turn away, you notice the owner of the club - Mahito - sitting in the VIP section, fiddling with his cash in the open. Showoff, you think, disgusted with his demeanor. Uraume sits next to him, eyes glazed over as he watches the dancers on the pole.

You’d been at this for six nights and gathered enough intel to pack a file full of pictures, fingerprints, and even a dollar bill he gave you as a measly tip for serving him drinks all last night. You grumble internally about the show of disrespect, still heated from the exchange, but you remember the CSB pays you - and your partner for that matter - handsomely for each mission completed, so it’s really not about the cash at all.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Mahito calls out over the music. “Bring me and my friend some vodka.”

“I don’t want to drink,” Uraume replies, but you bring two glasses of the house’s best vodka anyway, setting it in front of them.

“Thank you.” As you lift up, Mahito grabs your wrist, pulling you down to meet his eyes. “You know, my friend here is a bit of a prude. How about you loosen him up with a little show, hmm?” You want to recoil at the way Mahito licks his lips, but you plaster on a sickly sweet smile as he lets you go.

“What would you like?” you wonder, placing your hands on your legs as you show off your cleavage that spills over your bra. Uraume grimaces, leaning away from you, only muttering,

“I want you to go away.” You place a pout on your lips and throw a glance at Mahito, who shoos you away. Thankful for the dismissal, you go back to the bar when Kyoko, the head bartender, joins you.

“Hey, y/n, we’re going to need three bottles of prosecco.” She tosses you the keys to the storage room and you catch them, confused.

“But you’re the only person that has permission to go back the--”

“I’m occupied with Mr. Friday,” she thumbs back to the roped-off area where two men in suits chug alcohol. “Just don’t get lost in there.” You nod your understanding and walk to the storage room, where all of the alcohol is kept. As you look around for a prosecco, your mind wanders off, trying to memorize the years stored inside. But as you lift a bottle off the shelf and step back, your ankle twists, and you fall backward, hitting the wooden floor with the prosecco.

“Fuck!”

The shattered glass goes everywhere, and you’re left nursing your bloody hand as you attempt to get off your back.

And that’s when you notice it.

A pair of eyes looks at you from under the shelves, their green pupils winking out, then coming back into view as they open again.

“Help me…”

[amazingmaeve]

Cardigan ↠ Sirius Black

━ “i’ve missed you darling.”

summary ━ sirius and y/n were in love at hogwarts. then he cheated on her with her best friend marlene. a couple years later the two run into each other again.

warnings ━ angst, fluff, swearing, kissing

a/n ━ somewhat based on cardigan by taylor Swift, also no voldy au so lily and james are alive. Also one huge time jump.

word count ━ 3.6k

“Sirius stop,” Y/N giggles as she thrashes on the bed. Currently Sirius was ticking her as moments before they were studying. She was supposed to be helping him in one of his classes but he got distracted.

Sirius looked down at his girlfriend with a smile appearing on his face. He truly did love Y/N with all of his heart. He began to press kisses all over her face, stopping his tickling.

“You know I hate that,” Y/N says with a smile referring to the tickling. He knew all the spots that would make her break out in a laugh.

Y/N sometimes wondered how she got together with Sirius. Before they met he usually slept around a lot while she wanted to save her virginity for someone important.

They had gotten paired for a charms assignment. Y/N would never admit it she was quite nervous about being with Sirius. She’s had a crush on him since their first year but he never really noticed her as Y/N didn’t like to be noticed. She usually kept to herself.

Except for her best friend Marlene. She helped Y/N and was always nice to her. She gave her the best advice that a friend could even ask for.

When the two started talking they realized that they had much more in common than Y/N thought. She thought Sirius Black was a narcissist fuck boy.

Y/N found out that he was witty, charming, and surprisingly nice to her.

Sirius always thought that Y/N was just some stuck up girl that thought she was too good for anyone. She came from a pureblood family so when she never talked to anyone he thought she was a pureblood supremacist. He found out that Y/N was smart, shy and didn’t like to have friends.

Sirius and Y/N started to enjoy the time they spent together. But the assignment would make them stop having interaction with each other.

Even after the homework they had done Sirius and Y/N decided to hang out more and soon more feelings developed. Y/N, who already had an attraction towards him, started to emotionally connect to him. Sirius, who thought Y/N was already hot, started to sympathize with her and her family problems since he had the same.

Soon Y/N met Remus, James, Peter, and Lily and soon started to connect with one another.

Sirius asked her out after James and Remus encouraged him to do so when the two figured out that his friend had feelings for the girl.

Y/N was on cloud nine when Sirius asked her out for the first time. At first she thought he was just planking her but soon realized he was very serious. With butterflies in her stomach she said yes to his question while a smile graced her lips.

Their first date was at Hogsmeade and it was magical to Y/N. Sirius kept making flirty comments all night making her feel more and more nervous.

The two talked and got to know each other more and at the end of the night Sirius kissed her before parting to their own rooms.

That night Y/N laid down with a dopey smile on her face. She felt the butterflies erupting in her stomach but she didn’t care. She felt like she was falling in love every second.

“I love you darling,” Sirius says softly as he lays on top of Y/N. She can feel the heat rise to her chest and cheeks.

“I love you more,” Y/N laughs her arms coming up to wrap around his neck. She gives him a cheeky smile playing with his hair on the back of his neck.

“Not possible,” Sirius says in disbelief. She was the light to his darkness in his life and he would never trade that.

“Uh how do you know,” Y/N asks as she sits up pulling him to a seating position. Her eyebrows furrowed in stubbornness.

“I just do,” Sirius says cockily and pulls her into a kiss straight after.

After the kiss she lays her head on his chest. Sirius pulls her hand to his intertwining their fingers.

They just lay there with Y/N on Sirius’s chest in a comfortable silence. His heartbeat calmed her down as she fell asleep on the boy's chest. Once realizing she’s asleep, Sirius kisses her forehead before attempting to leave her bed.

Only he couldn’t. Y/N had such a grip on him which made him stay. Sirius wrapped his arms around her and eventually fell asleep himself.

A few weeks later Y/N was alone in her bed wrapped in the blankets since it was especially cold. She let out a sigh as she rested her head on the pillow.

The night before the Gryffindors had thrown a party where everyone was drinking from the victory of the quidditch match. It wasn’t that much fun to Y/N.

Her and Sirius were supposed to have a date that night and she understood going to the party. But she’d expect him to at least talk to her that night.

Sirius spent most of the night talking and laughing to his friends. Y/N also saw him flirting with her best friend Marlene and she yelled at them before storming to her bed room.

She laid down and cried herself to sleep.

Now as she lays on her bed she might have blown things out of proportion. Maybe they were just talking and Y/N was just extremely jealous. Making something out of nothing she thought to herself.

She got up and got ready for her classes. It was early but Y/N wanted to go and see Sirius and apologize to him before classes began. She didn’t want her relationship with Sirius to be over because of one little spat.

Y/N treads across the floor to the boys room hoping that the other marauders were awake and somewhere else. Luckily she saw them walk to the main hall avoiding eye contact. That made her confused but she shook it off.

She sighed as she touched the door handle. She didn’t know what to say to him. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be a jealous girlfriend’ would that work? Hopefully she thought.

Y/N turned the door knob with a smile to greet Sirius with. The smile quickly faded as she noticed someone else in the bed with him.

“Sirius,” Y/N snapped loudly as the boy was still sleeping. He groaned cuddling into the girl even more making Y/N more and more angry. Once she got a look at the girl Y/N scoffed as she saw Marlene.

“Go away prongs I’m tired,” Sirius groaned thinking it was James.

Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Sirius,” Y/N yelled louder, her voice full of anger seeing the boy she was in love with and one of her best friends in bed. She had mixed emotions, sadness and anger were the main ones.

Y/N could see Sirius' eyes widen in shock as he realizes he’s not cuddling with the girl he’s in love with. And the girl who has his heart is standing at the foot of the bed with anger written on her face.

Marlene and Sirius move apart noticing the girl.

“Love this isn’t-,” Sirius began to defend himself and got his boxers on but was soon interrupted. Meanwhile Marlene got her clothes on and left knowing the two need to talk.

“Stop,” Y/N snaps. Her voice is harsh which makes Sirius flinch at the tone. “I just want to know one thing,” She asks, her voice dripping in sadness.

Sirius’s eyes stay on his lap not wanting to meet her gaze. He most importantly didn’t want to see the tears that were gonna form.

“Did you ever even love me,” She asks, feeling drained. That question makes Sirius’s head snap up and pull himself to his feet.

“Of course I do love, I do still love you,” Sirius admits, walking over to put his hands on her cheek. She moves her face away from his hands which makes his face sadden even more.

“I can’t believe that I was gonna apologize for being a jealous girlfriend. Turns out my instincts were right,” Y/N bites her lip to keep her tears in. She doesn’t want to cry in front of him.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything,” Sirius tries to reassure getting his school clothes on.

“We’re done,” Y/N snaps as she walks out of the room slamming the door making Sirius flinch again.

Sirius sighs and sits on his bed putting his hand in his face as tears gather. He didn’t mean for it to happen. It was just one drunken mistake.

When Y/N yelled at him he thought a good idea was to sleep with Marlene. That was his drunken reasoning. He can’t believe he did this. He hurt the person he most cares about and he can’t even do anything about it.

Sirius ran his fingers through his hair out of frustration. He ruined everything.

The rest of the day went by slow since Y/N had all of her classes with Sirius. It was hard seeing him and not talking to him. Marlene tried apologizing multiple times but Y/N shut it down not wanting to hear anymore excuses.

After a long day of school and avoiding people she realized that it was close to the end of her last year which was good. But the thought of not seeing Sirius still made her sad but quickly shut those thoughts.

She couldn’t keep thinking of Sirius. It hurt to think but Y/N was still in love with him which made some tears start to fall.

Luckily she was in the common room and most people were at Hogsmeade celebrating the end of the year. Y/N was happy since she took her N.E.W.T.s, which was hard since she took 8 of them, but she got significantly good grades. Even the good news of that didn’t make her feel any better.

She sat on the sofa putting her head in her hands letting the tears finally fall. She hated Sirius so much but Y/N couldn’t just stop loving him. He was in her life for a year and she can’t just erase that as much as she’d like to.

As Y/N quietly sobs into her hands Remus enters the room wanting to turn in for the night. But he stopped in his tracks as he saw her crying.

Remus knew the reason Y/N was crying. He cursed his best friend for breaking her heart and doing this to her.

He sighed and walked around to the couch to sit next to her. Remus opened his arms out for her. She accepts and lunges into his open arms crying into his chest.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Remus reassures using his fingers to put some of her hair behind her ear. She continues to cry through the heartbreak, her arms right around his waist.

“It hurts so much,” Y/N sniffles leaning up from his chest. Her eyes puffy and wet from the sobbing. “I thought he loved me.”

“He does, I know it,” Remus reassures her sternly. He knows Sirius screwed everything but Remus also knows that Sirius loves her and it was a mistake.

“He cheated on me. He broke my heart, my trust. How can you defend him,” Y/N looks at him in disbelief. When her and Sirius got together, he knew that she was a virgin and wanted to wait for someone who was special. And Y/N thought Sirius was that guy and she was going to let him.

Luckily she didn’t.

“He’s my best friend of course I’m going to defend him, but I’m not going to let him get a free ride for screwing up,” Remus explains softly and Y/N gets up as she scoffs.

“I can’t forgive him I just can’t,” Y/N whispers before walking away from Remus leaving him to think all alone.

Soon the ending of the year came and just like that four years passed.

For the last four years Y/N got a job as curse breaker and enjoyed the job. Other than that she didn’t do much, she didn’t have any friends except from work. She never got a boyfriend not trusting any guy that could potentially break her heart.

For a little while she kept in touch with James, Lily, and Remus. But soon enough they stopped calling so Y/N focused on her work.

Oftentimes she wondered what Sirius was doing, she also wondered what it would be like if he didn’t cheat on her. Would things be different? Would they be together? This is what Y/N usually thought about at night.

She shook those thoughts out thinking Sirius probably found a girlfriend and moved on. Y/N always thought she could move on but the wound Sirius left was big and no one could heal it so far.

So Y/N gave up on love at the moment.

After a long day at work she enters her flat. She stretches her arms and yawns, it was a hard day at work and very tiring. She sits on her bed and notices a note on the table besides her bed.

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She reached her arm out to grab it and opened it. As Y/N read the letter she sighed as the words flowed in her mind.

A fucking reunion.

A reunion for all the people at Hogwarts and it was at Lily and James potters house. Y/N sat there for a few minutes contemplating on what to do. This could let her reunite with her teachers who were always proud of her. But on the other hand Sirius was probably going to be there and she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that.

She puts the letter down and runs her fingers through her fingers getting some of the tiny knots out. Fuck it she thinks. She’ll go. It’s a risk but hopefully it’ll be fun.

A few weeks later Y/N stands in front of James and Lily’s house straightening her dress out. The last weeks were stressful but luckily work kept her busy most of the time. At night she thinks, what will I do if I see Sirius. Run the opposite direction suggests to herself but rolls her eyes thinking she’s crazy for talking to herself.

She tried making herself look presentable and hopefully succeeded. She sighed as she raised her hand to knock on the door. It took a few minutes before someone answered and that someone was the one and only Sirius Black.

His smile soon faded as he saw who was at the door. In her head this was the worst luck that could have ever happened to her.

“Can I come in,” Y/N asks as politely as she can. Sirius nods opening the door wider to let the girl inside. As soon as she’s in she gets as far away from him as possible.

“Y/N you made it,” Lily says surprised as Y/N runs into her.

“Yep thought I might show up,” Y/N says awkwardly rocking on her heels. She shouldn’t have come think to herself. “Well I’ve got to use the toilet,” She says before running off to the bathroom.

She locks the door with a sigh. Y/N looks at herself in the mirror. She’s already ran into two people she didn’t want to see. This night couldn’t get any worse.

She takes a seat on the toilet rubbing her fingers through her hair feeling stressed out. God it’s going to be a long night. Before she leaves the bathroom she redos her makeup so it looks better after messing it up.

Once she opens the door she paints a smile on her face to pretend she wasn’t having a freak out moment.

For the rest of the night she avoids the marauders by talking to some teachers who wanted to know what she was doing now. And Y/N thought that was it nothing interesting was going to happen that night.

How wrong was she.

Y/N thought she should apologize to Lily for being so flighty so she looks through the rooms to see if the redhead is anywhere. What she finds is worse.

She opens a door to this room and sees Sirius making out with Marlene.

“Oh god I’m so sorry,” Y/N gasps running out of the room. Of course they got together. They would be a much better couple than they ever did.

Y/N knows she shouldn’t be upset. Her and Sirius were broken up; she can’t feel like this. Hopefully they’ll work out better than her and Sirius ever did.

After that Y/N couldn’t be there anymore. She didn’t want to talk to Sirius and it to be awkward so she left and apparated to her flat, she got her heels off. They were killing her feet all night and she sighs in relief as they come off.

She gets her sweat pants and t-shirt on and gets settled into bed processing everything that went on that night. Sirius and Marlene come to mind. Instead of being spiteful she hopes they have a good life and that she can finally move on from Sirius and be happy herself.

In the next week Lily calls surprising Y/N. She didn’t think Lily would like to talk to her after her and Sirius were over.

They scheduled a lunch at her house to talk and catch up since they couldn’t at the party. Y/N couldn’t say no, Lily was being so nice to her and she didn’t want to be a bitch.

“I can’t believe you have a kid,” Y/N happily laughs as she sees Lily with her son Harry. He was only a few months old.

“I can’t either, life goes on so fast,” Lily smiles, kissing the top of Harry’s head as he sits in her lap. “Now that you know what I’ve been up to, what have you been doing these past four years,” She asks curiosity gleaming in her eyes.

“Well I became a curse breaker,” Y/N fiddles with her fingers in her lap.

“Anyone special in your life,” Lily asks, taking a sip of her tea. Y/N sighs not wanting to say what a colossal failure her love life has been.

“Nothing much haven’t caught a guy's heart,” Y/N half jokes with a laugh. “But I just want to focus on my job,” She says in a more serious tone, looking Lily in her green orbs.

“Sirius asks about you,” Lily brings up the boy.

“I don’t understand why I saw him making out with Marlene at the party,” Y/N asks confused, why would Sirius ask about her when he’s dating someone else.

“They aren’t dating, it's just a friends with benefits thing,” Lily corrects. After Sirius broke Y/N’s heart she was mad at him for some time but soon realized that he knew what mistake he made. Lily knows he still loves Y/N, he just made a mistake.

Before Y/N could say anything, the door to the house opened as booming laughter came through the halls.

“Lily sweetheart-,” James calls out, entering the room and stops talking after seeing Y/N sitting there. Sirius and Remus follow soon after and Sirius can feel his heart stop as he sees Y/N sitting there.

An awkward silence flows across the room as Y/N keeps her eyes on the ground not wanting to meet Sirius’s eyes.

“We’ll give you some space,” Lily says comfortingly, taking baby Harry with her. When Remus or James don’t follow Lily comes back and hits them on the back of their heads. “Now,” Lily says sternly.

“I thought you loved me,” James says sarcastically following his love with Remus following him chuckling at his friend.

As soon as the three leaves Sirius makes his way towards the couch sitting next to Y/N whose eyes are still watching the ground. Sirius put his hand on hers the one on the couch.

“What do you want Sirius,” Y/N asks, tears gathering in her eyes. Sirius gives her hand a squeeze making her look up. He removes his hand from hers to put it on her cheek wiping the one tear that fell away.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius apologizes.

“Sirius it’s been years you don’t need to apologize all over again,” Y/N scoffs.

“Please just let me get this out and then you don’t have to see me ever again okay,” Sirius asks softly and Y/N hesitantly nods. “For the past years I regret not trying harder to get you back. And I know that you probably wouldn’t have taken me back but I should've tried. You were the love of my life, still the love of my life. I shouldn’t have let you down like this,” Sirius goes on and Y/N feels the same butterflies in her stomach from the first day she spoke to him.

“What about Marlene,” Y/N asks, remembering the party. Lily explained it to her; she just wanted to make sure she wasn’t covering for Sirius.

“Just a fling,” Sirius nervously chuckles. “You think we can try again,” He asks nervousness crawling in his stomach.

“Yes,” Y/N says a few seconds after he spoke. His eyes light up but Y/N puts her finger up. “But we take it slowly, we shouldn’t rush into this,” She explains. Sirius nods agreeing with her.

Sirius brings her into a hug. Y/N didn’t hug back at first but finally sank into his arms, resting her head on his chest. She can feel his heartbeat which calms the butterflies in her stomach.

“I’ve missed you darling.”