#so you both had to deal with growing up alongside each other and never knowing anyone as intimately as you do each other

[wttcsms]

very complicated and messy figure skating duo au but with WHO. im talking complicated and messy in the sense that during a practice, you two are upset with each other and you’re both so angry and neither of you can concentrate and he accidentally drops you and you have to be sent to the hospital. he feels so awful but he refuses to contact you afterwards + all your anger towards him has dissipated almost immediately but now you feel bitter that he got you into this mess and doesn’t even have the decency to send generic apology flowers or even a text. (everyone kept suggesting that he find a new partner to skate with but he vehemently refused & even stormed out the arena when presented with another girl to skate with. if you never returned back to his side, he would have quit skating. meanwhile, the whole time you were in the hospital recovering, you knew him well enough to understand why he didn’t contact you. you don’t blame him for your hospitalization at all.)

[mysteria157]

Fic Masterlist

Pairing: Nanami Kento x Black Female Reader

Genre: Fluffy Smutty Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy/Sort of Enemies to Lovers AU

CW: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Baby Daddy Nanami Kento, Unplanned Pregnancy, Slow Burn, Minor Character Death, Angst/Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Oral Sex, MINORS DNI

©mysteria157, all rights reserved. DO NOT copy, plagiarize, reupload, modify, or translate (without permission) my work to other accounts and platforms.

Summary: 

You probably shouldn’t have slapped him.

But you didn’t care. He deserved it after days of dismissive remarks and hard glares to everything you worked so hard for.

“I’m pregnant. I don’t want your help. I don’t need your help. The fact that you’re the father is more than enough to keep me away from you.”

or: Despite your differences and frustrations with one another, you share a drunk but passionate night tangled in the sheets. But now, five weeks later, you and Nanami Kento have no choice but to navigate a rocky relationship while also embracing the new responsibilities of parenthood that lay ahead.

Author’s Notes: This is my very first fic and a WIP. I have two more chapters left. This entire process has been a journey and there will always be things that I can improve on. But for now, please enjoy. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I love writing it! <3

~Those Moments In Between - moments that take place during and after It Had To Be You.~

Chapter Summaries:

Thank you all for coming on this journey with me. Feel free to leave a comment to let me know your thoughts. Or send me a message if you want! Love you all <3

Chapter 1: Your life comes to a startling halt when you realize the abrasive and dismissive man you shared a passionate but drunken night with is now the father of your child.

Chapter 2: That first day when you meet him, you’re bright eyed and ready to work alongside him, filled with so many ideas that will benefit the company. Him, Nanami Kento, a highly esteemed director that always made your stomach flip in desire. But it turns out, he’s not what you thought. Flashback

Chapter 3: When it comes to work, Nanami likes to follow a specific code for people like you. And he would like to think it’s working so far. But one too many drinks and things change. Flashback

Chapter 4: When you think you’re a step ahead to keep Nanami out of your way, your world comes crashing down and makes it harder for you to decide to break the news.

Chapter 5: You want nothing to do with him. Nanami wants to make the right decision. 

Chapter 6: You catch subtle glimpses of another side of Nanami. You both come together to meet the life you have created together. A traumatic part of your life makes itself known. 

Chapter 7: Pregnancy hormones get the best of you. You are given a big opportunity in your company. But it’s not what it seems.

Chapter 8: You deal with the fallout. An unexpected visitor puts your life in jeopardy. Nanami tries to pick up the pieces. 

Chapter 9: You make a life change and show a side of yourself that you never wanted to entertain. Nanami asks you to dinner. 

Chapter 10: You catch a glimpse of the growing life within. A home cooked meal and a searing kiss.

Chapter 11: Nanami gifts you with something that sets a new course in your life. When confessions are finally laid on the table, you both give in.

Chapter 12: A vulnerable moment with each other. A baby shower. An accident that throws Nanami’s life in disarray.

Chapter 13: You and Nanami navigate through grief.

Chapter 14: A birthday, a confession, and a new addition.

Chapter 15: You and Nanami navigate through the first months of parenthood. Nanami gives you an amazing birthday gift. A surprising encounter with someone from Nanami’s past makes you unsure of yourself.

Chapter 16:  The last person you ever wanted to see pries into your life. Nanami makes a life changing decision. Your hard work finally pays off.

Chapter 17: You work hard to bring life to something dear to Nanami.

Chapter 18: You help Nanami on the anniversary of Yu's death. Nanami finally works up his courage during a warm day of Sakura season.

Chapter 19 (Epilogue): Things finally come together.

**Do not plagiarize any of my works or translate without my permission!**

[pucksandpower]

Can I request a Charles insta au where his gf receives hate from the fandom and Charles defending her <<3

Charles Leclerc x widow!Reader - Social Media AU

charles_leclerc

Liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,063,894 others

charles_leclerc date night on the road ❤️

View all 3,991 comments

yourusername so thankful i get to experience all of this with you

charles_leclerc i wouldn’t have it any other way

pierregasly wow just go ahead and crop us out i guess

carlossainz55 they were so caught up in each other i think they forgot that we joined them for dinner

gridgossip why is she private???

circlingthecircuit must have something to hide

leleleclerc or … she doesn’t want to sacrifice her privacy just because she’s dating an f1 driver

paddockgirlie awww they look so happy together

charles_leclerc

Liked by yourusername, arthur_leclerc, and 1,108,936 others

charles_leclerc my pianist in-training

View all 3,985 comments

yourusername emphasis on in-training 🫣

charles_leclerc you weren’t that bad

yourusername don’t lie to me

charles_leclerc seriously, it was good for your first time learning to play

tifositalking in the words of avril lavigne: hey, hey, you, you, i don't like your girlfriend. no way, no way, i think you need a new one

ferrari4ever charles could do so much better than her!

leclercitup am i the only one who thinks they’re adorable?

feralforferrari me too! they genuinely look completely in love with each other

leclercalicious you deserve to be more than just a rebound for a gold digger

pierregasly

Liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 839,215 others

pierregasly no wonder charles actually let me drive without a fight today

View all 2,483 comments

yourusername couldn’t help it. i had a comfy pillow

charles_leclerc and i had a personal space heater

luckyleclerc tell charles that she’s just using him

gridgossip seriously! how does charles not realize that she’s going to lead him on and then discard him just like she did her first husband?

totallytifosi you need to leave them alone. you know nothing about her or their relationship. stop blindly hating

charles_leclerc

Liked by yourusername, pierregasly, and 1,287,209 others

charles_leclerc an important note

View all 56 comments

*comments on this post have been limited*

pierregasly no one should have to deal with this and especially not someone with a soul as kind as y/n’s

sebastianvettel so sorry to hear what y/n has been through. it can get very tough sometimes. we’re always here if you need to talk

carlossainz55 anyone who doesn’t like y/n is a horrible judge of character

yourusername

Liked by charles_leclerc, f1wagupdates, and 589,653 others

yourusername It has now been four years without you, my love. Your hoodies no longer smell like you no matter how long I refused to wash them. Your fingerprints on the mirror have been covered by dust. Sometimes I find myself forgetting what your voice sounded like and breaking down in the middle of work. Grief is a horrible thing. But you are permanently imprinted in my heart and my memories of you live on. I fight every day to keep them alive.

I met someone — his name is Charles. In many ways, he reminds me of you. You are both loyal and loving and so incredibly passionate. For the first time in years, I felt my heart come alive again. Charles understands how cruelly love can be snatched away from you. He understands the battle of trying to keep living while melancholy weighs you down. Alongside him, I learned that my heart has room enough for two incredible men and that I can love you both equally and in your own ways.

I know that this is what you would have wanted for me. I know that you’re smiling down on me right now. And it took me a long time to come to terms with it, but I know that it is okay for me to find love and happiness again. I have found it all with Charles. Time will keep passing us by but I promise that my love for you will never grow fainter.

To Ben, I will always love you. To Charles, I will love you just as faithfully until my own dying breath. To those who have supported me, you gave me a reason to keep living. To those who have misjudged and hated on me, I hope that going public with this will set the story straight and at the very least lead to me being treated with basic human decency. Thank you

View all 82 comments

*comments on this post have been limited*

charles_leclerc so proud of you, mon amour. thank you for loving me and letting me love you

pierregasly one of the strongest people i know

arthur_leclerc charles has never been happier and anyone with eyes can see that

leclerc_pascale ❤️❤️❤️

carlossainz55 so much love to you both

landonorris i’m so sorry it came to this but we’re all behind you

georgerussell63 we always have your back

[mouwrites]

I haven’t written for Creepypasta/MH for a while, so…. Here :] (i am so sorry for starving you my sweet creeps/creep enjoyers)

Creepypasta/MH - How You Met

Characters: Nina the Killer, Jeff the Killer, “Ticci” Toby

Nina the Killer

You guys met at the mall

I’ll give you one guess which store you were in

….did you guess Claire’s? Because it was Claire’s

(For those who don’t know, Claire’s is a super cutesy accessory store with earrings, headbands, unicorn headphones, stuff like that…. They also do piercings)

She was getting a new piercing, you were just browsing

You were closely examining two pairs of earrings, trying to decide which ones to get

A few feet away Nina was doing the same, tapping her masked cheek as she tried to pick out which studs to get for the new piercing

You kinda looked at each other from the corners of your eyes, noticing that you were in a similar predicament

Nina looked you up and down, and decided on a whim that she wanted your advice

“Hey, which studs do you think I should get? I’m getting a new piercing.”

You leaned over, checking out the selection alongside her

While you looked, she tucked her hair behind her ear to let you see the ones she already had

You hummed, looking between her ears and the studs on display

Then you pointed to the ones you thought would look best, and though you couldn’t see her mouth under her mask, you knew she was smiling hugely

“Thank you so much!! Now let me help you pick your earrings!”

You smiled, surprised that she took notice of your earlier plight

You guys seemed to connect over your sense of fashion/what looks nice (even if you didn’t necessarily have the same aesthetic)

She actually asked if you wanted to stick around for the actual piercing after, which you agreed to

It looked fantastic ofc, and she gave you full credit :)

After that you guys hung around the mall together, exchanging numbers before parting

She was enamored by your style, your demeanor, your attitude—she was determined to see you again

Jeff the Killer

You guys also met at a store

But it was a thrift store

You were hunting “the heat” that everyone always buzzes about

He was hunting some nice deals on clothes 💰

You didn’t notice the pale, masked man browsing the racks, but he certainly noticed you

He watched the way you moved; the way your face shifted when you found something you liked or disliked

He wasn’t particularly interested, but he was watching you anyway

Just a habit of a serial killer ig

You were slowly growing closer, the racks separating you two dwindling in number until you were on the same aisle, walking in opposite directions

You pulled out a shirt, and suddenly your face exploded into a huge grin and a snort escaped you

Jeff jumped, not having expected…. that

You were doing your best not to double over in laughter, repeatedly looking over the shirt in your hands

You decided that you just had to share this with someone, so you waved over the nearest person

Which was Jeff, of course

He warily approached, curious but cautious

His eyes were narrowed until you flipped around the shirt, letting him read it

“Shakin’ tits and takin’ shits….”

He blinked once, processing the outrageous atrocity of fashion

Then he started chuckling too

You shared a fit of laughter that never seemed to end as you both kept renewing your giggles by looking at the shirt or each other

It was just so stupid, and you both kept saying so between laughs

He extended his hand, steadying himself to say:

“Please let me buy that.”

“What, you think I’m gonna wear it? …Hmm, on second thought…”

Cue the teasing banter (oh man. He’s hooked now)

In the end you walked away with the shirt, but Jeff came away with something better

A new interesting acquaintance, and a motive to “get you back”

What does that mean? Lord knows… but don’t be surprised when he suddenly shows up again, ready for some more of that playful banter

“Ticci” Toby

You guys actually knew each other before Toby became what he is

So let’s rewind back to high school:

Toby was a weirdo, this we know

But so were you (even if you tried to hide it)

You were intrigued by the strange boy that seemed to be lurking in the back row of your every class

One day you decided to sit next to him; you realized that he actually seemed kinda… normal?

Like, you weren’t alarmed by him or anything

You weren’t sure what you had been expecting, but it wasn’t the quiet (if not fidgety) kid you found yourself next to

You were prone to draw when bored in class, and though you didn’t notice at first, he seemed to like watching you draw

It became more obvious as time passed, until one day he finally spoke to you

In a hushed whisper, careful not to be caught by the teacher, he said:

“Can you draw the teacher? But, like, super ugly.”

You smirked mischievously, giving a little nod as you doodled the crude character

You heard him snort, and for the first time you saw a genuine smile on those chapped, chewed-up lips

From then on you frequently amused him with your drawings, and he amused you with his requests

You started meeting up more often, and you sorta became friends

You weren’t particularly close or anything, but you’d give each other knowing grins when you passed each other in the hallways

He liked your mischievous side, as well as the fact that you didn’t pity him

You were just a chill person who he vibed really well with :)

When he went off the rails, you guys kind of lost contact

You were someone he could come to when he was in a goofy mood, but as that became more of a rarity, so too did your relationship wither

But he never forgot you; in his mind, you were like a flower frosted over, someone he could come back to someday and be accepted once more

Though he didn’t think of you too often, especially as the years passed

Like I said, you weren’t close

But still, you made a lasting impression on him, and he always knew he’d be glad to see you again someday

Not too many characters with this one; I noticed it was getting kinda long ^^” But thanks for reading!! Take care sweet things <33

(divider by saradika)

[radioactivesweet]

Hello!!~ May I pretty pls, get more headcanons about Nyx!s/o?; Ares, Beelzebub, Loki and Tesla with a Nyx! s/o?~

(Just imagine Loki using his s/o to scare Zeus, I can’t— 💀✨)

Also, feel free to add other characters if you want ^ - ^

Ngl I'm enjoying this Nyx!s/o requests! Nyx is such a cool goddess! And yeah- Loki is definitely using her in his favour hahahah I won't add anymore character tho otherwise I'll end up posting this much much later

Ares, knowing your name and reputation - alongside the fact that his father himself was scared of you - thought you'd be as scary as you were described. Whenever your name was brought up in a conversation - which happened quite rarely - people who'd grow pale and start shivering, which scared Ares immensly, despite trying not to show it. You became a sort of boogeyman in his mind, the kind of creature you'd talk about to children to have them got to sleep. So when he actually met you and discovered you didn't appear to be that frightnening, he immediately warmed up to you, being the himbo he is. When you get close to each other, whenever he sees you, he lights up - which is kinda ironic if you think about it. Ares has his perks and self-preservation doesn't appear to be one of them. How he has become devoid of any fear towards you and instead showers you with affection is a mystery to you, but it's much appreciated. All the rumours surrounding you weren't enough to scare him away after all and he surely is one funny god to have around. Family dinner are quite funny too for you. Zeus tries to avoid them whenever he can and you can have the time of your life by frightening Zeus himself.

Beelzebub recognises how similar you two are from the first moment he met you. Both of you feared and isolated deities, whose name alone makes the earth tremble, associated with darkness and ruin, whose presence is dreadful and nightmarish. Frightnening and unpleasant, he knew he'd get along well with you. To each other though, you're both kinda warmer, despite keeping a certain level of detachement between you two. You know about Beelzebub's curse - and have seen many curses during your long life - and try to look for a solution to it, despite his resistance. Being an ancient deity gave you much more experience than his, yet helping someone who doesn't want to be helped is a difficult job. Despite everything, when you two are together, you have the certainty that nobody will ever dare disturbing you. On your own you are both terrying, together you are Heaven's worst nightmare.

Loki isn't scared of you, what he's scared of is Odin finally punishing him for one of his many pranks. You are actually the one who could save him from his miserable fate! Not even Odin would dare to punish him if it meant crossing your path. You silently checking on him is more than enough for Loki to do whatever he want without having to deal with the consequences - unless he angers you, at that rate he'd probably be annihilated, but he doesn't want to reach that point. He is mischievous, not stupid, and doesn't want to die either. At first, he has to admit it, Loki was a little put off by you. You were intimidating to say the least, but he already had his good share of frightnening deities to deal with. You can be sure he will never and ever pull a prank on you, even though he'd like to try once. It may be his last prank though.

Nikola is the child of light; you are the goddess of night. The bright scientist and the gloomy deity. Complete opposites, yet he is enchanted by you. Nikola, believing in the power of science instead of gods' doesn't really understand why you seem to be feared by others. He can see how you can appear a little intimidating but aside from that, he finds your presence quite pleasant! Nikola believes that thanks to you he may also progress with his experiments - he is quite interested in your powers too. He doesn't want you to feel like a guinea pig though, because he doesn't absolutely see you that way. You are someone he knows will be of help in his researchs and sees you as a beacon who could make humanity itself evolve. You are his partner and Nikola values a lot your opinions and beliefs. The fact that you are an incredibly powerful deity is a bonus he doesn't dislike though. Thanks to his light and your darkness, he knows you'll be able to achieve great things together.

[fleurriee]

— here with you ; neteyam sully

pairing ; neteyam sully x fem!reader

synopsis ; sometimes, things can just get too much for you - especially when you feel like the entire world is against you. but, it isn’t, because neteyam’s there, and he’ll always be there.

word count ; 7.2k

themes ; angst, fluff, established relationship (mates)

warnings ; death of parents, panic/anxiety attacks...

author’s note ; these requests are always taking me so long & im so sorry about that,, i guess i just want them to be perfect, so i then get kinda scared to start them.. but i loved this one, so tysm for requesting!! this was also a bit sadder than i think either of you wanted but this plot came to me the instance i read these sososososo <33 i also want to say that im in no way trying to romanticise these particular situations & if it’s coming across that way, please let me know and help me understand how i can change it <3 requested & requested

main masterlist request a fic!

Standing side by side, yourself and Neteyam stood tall and proud, for once no eyes upon the two of you, but the ceremony playing out before you. You were next to the rest of Neteyam’s family, too, each of them paying close attention to those in front of them.

At the very front of the entire clan stood two Na’vi, face to face with beaming smiles upon their features, eyes never once leaving one another’s as they started to speak their vows to one another, but also to the Great Mother herself. It was their mating ceremony, one that had been planned for a few weeks now, and the entire clan had come together in order to celebrate such a special day alongside them.

Even you can see it’s a beautiful, such ethereality emanating around you and pulsing with life, as if the earth around you could feel the happiness on top, too, wanting to join in and feel the same things. Bioluminescent fauna had been plucked by foragers and strung up all around the area, flickering on and off with a heartbeat of life, and creating an effervescent glow that shone down on them. Platters of food that had been hunted, prepared and cooked beforehand were surrounding them, piled high with all sorts, but particularly the mate’s favourites, seeing as it was their day. And, the people - they were covered head to toe paint that represented the Omatikaya clan, flowers placed delicately into woven hair and beads hanging from their necks to signify their strength in the clan, in the union before them, relishing in the feeling over not only the couple coming together as one, but the entire clan, too.

The love that could be felt all around was encapsulating - it was hard to ignore from the moment it was announced they were to mate in a few weeks time, let alone the day it would be happening. It was obvious from where you were standing beside your own mate that they were meant to be together, that Ewya had chosen yet again another good match, and each and every one of the people were excited to see them grow.

And, you were happy for them, of course you were. You’d give anything to have others understand and experience the love you felt for Neteyam, because it was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of feeling. It was a feeling where all you really knew was him, one where he felt like your other half, like your soul had been split into two and given over to him to carry and hold onto you with the utmost care. He did the same thing with your heart, after all - always holding it close to his own, caressing it with gentle touches and soft kisses, constantly reminding you of the love he held for you, too, as you did the same with his heart in your own calloused hands.

But, despite repeatedly telling yourself that you weren’t going to do this today, that you were going to be happy and deal with your lingering emotions after the ceremony itself, you own reprimands didn’t work. It was their day, you should’ve been watching them, but they were standing too close for you to simply ignore…

It was always custom for both pairs of parents to be up their with their children whilst they were bonding before both Ewya and the clan, standing behind their children and watching with the proudest smiles possible. Loving eyes reflected down up them, some even shedding a few tears, smiles wide and ecstatic, no doubt their minds already how the rest of their lives were going to play out.

You heart broke at the sight of them, both pairs, all four individual parents, watching and smiling and just being there. As soon as your eyes settled on them, it was so difficult to get and move them away. The longer you stared, the more your resolve began to crack, piece by piece, until you were sure you were going to shatter.

Many years ago, when you were younger, just a small Na’vi child growing up in a clan that appreciated every one of its people, attempting to make a place for yourself in its vast expanses… your parents fatally died. It was during another war with the humans, the evilness coming back and spreading like a disease until it felt the tortuous need to take not only one, but both of your parents away from you. You’re not entirely sure what exactly killed them, refusing to ask, knowing it would only make you spiral down until you were too scared you’d never make your way back up, but you’d have a general idea, and that haunted you more often than you’d like to admit.

Because you were only a child - a child that needed their mother to show her what it was to be a woman, teach her the way of how to properly care for a family and their mate, but staying strong and fierce and protective; a child that needed their father to ensure she was always safe in the care of his arms, to teach her how to hunt and fight back whenever someone was mean, or stand her ground against those that wished her harm to her heart.

But, you’d barely gotten that far with them.

Your parents’ deaths had hit you harder than you could’ve ever anticipated - sure, it was always going to be a difficult journey you were forced to embark on, but not one would you have believed it would still be here now, keeping you awake some nights and feeling as though it was slowly going to tear you apart and ruin the life you’d somehow managed to make for yourself, without them.

For all your time with them, you had been so incredibly close, that when they died, it felt like a part of yourself had been ripped away with them, too; as though you now had a whole within your soul that you could never get back, that always stay missing. You were their only child - having never been given the opportunity of having more the way they’d wanted - so they were constantly doting on you, showing you their ways and becoming your bestest friends.

They weren’t just your parents - they were your people.

Throughout the beginning, people were always around you, sheltering you with careful hands like you were suddenly made of fragile glass; and, you guess you were, because one wrong word, and the floodgates would open and it would be incredibly difficult to force them closed again. So many people from your clan offered you their aid, allowing you their shoulders to cry on or to talk to them about whatever was bothering you, offering up their time and their patience and their advice, just so you could be a small semblance of normality for once. Even people you had never spoken to before had come up to you, offering you their condolences and reassuring you that it’ll eventually get better.

But, it hadn’t - not really. Even though you were doing okay, you were happy with a mate and his family, with a future held close to your heart that you were excited to explore… and yet, their memories still echoed within the confines of your mind, sometimes praising and doting on you, sometimes screaming and yelling at you. It felt like a never ending cycle, and you couldn’t tell if you wanted it to disappear, or keep it with you, just to hear their voices one last time, even if they were disappointed in you.

You appreciated everything the clan was doing for you throughout such a tough time, but you never took any of them up on their sweet offers. You knew each and every one of them meant what they’d said to you, that you were more than welcome inside their homes to talk, but you couldn’t bring yourself to walk through the tent flap and ask for help.

None of them would truly know what you’d gone through at such a young age, at least not those that hadn’t been through a similar situation yourself. If they hadn’t had a family member as close as you were to your parents yourself, you found there was no real point in confiding in them when the advice they’d give you would only feel invalid.

Despite your mind tearing in to two polar opposites - one side screaming at you to get help, to talk all your rantings out into the open air so you weren’t as burdened as you were with them, and the other side echoing negative thoughts of they’d never understand, it’s all false, they don’t really care - there were two people who had an understanding of your emotions. Jake and Neytiri - the Olo’eyktan and his mate. Those two had gone through their own traumatic experiences that were similar to your own - both of them losing family they loved irrevocably due to such terrible circumstances, and still managing to come out on top, something you continued to look up to massively to this day.

With that in mind, knowing how you looked up at them like they had all the answers you’d ever needed or wanted, they took you under their wing. They became a second set of parents, so to speak - although they both knew they could never replace your biological ones - but it was something that slowly began to help your journey back to what you hoped was normalcy. They helped you grow as if you were their own, sheltering you from the harsh realities of your world, but shaping you into the woman you are today, at the same time. They tried their best to act as though your parents would’ve done in certain circumstances, knowing when these things happened, your glossy eyes would travel through a crowd in search for their warm presence, only to come up empty and cold.

That emptiness and coldness didn’t last long, however, not when Jake and Neytiri were just a step behind you, ready to envelop you in their own warmth and cage you away until you were happy again.

This was something that was always inevitable, though, being a part of the Sully family. Both Jake and Neytiri, alongside your own parents, had previously been discussing the idea of you and Neteyam (their firstborn) mating when you become of age, believing you to be a match made in heaven and perfect for one another. And, for a while, they were just hushed discussions of possibilities hidden away from any other prying ears, excitement coursing through the four of them at the idea of such a future.

When your parents died, that never stopped their ideas - no, if anything, it only fuelled it on more. Jake and Neytiri knew how excited your parents were at their own child having a mate, let alone one who was always known to be such a gentleman, so sweet and caring, never mind being next in line for Olo’eyktan. They knew despite the horrific change of events you found yourself in, they’d want you to be the happiest you could be, by finding a mate you adored and moving on to create your own family, even if it absolutely broke your heart to begin with.

So, it was almost a perfect slot of the puzzle - having you around all the time, now living with the rest of the Sully family as the two of them cared for you the way you always deserved, gave them the opportunity to slowly push you and Neteyam closer together. And, as time slowly trickled by, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, each one filled with thoughts of your parents smiling faces, you began to fall in love with him, just like they’d always imagined you doing.

Of course, it was a slightly rocky relationship to begin with. You were still in your mourning period - and, you’d argue that you still weren’t entirely out of it now - meaning you’d rather have just melted away into the shadows so you could cry silently to yourself in your despair, not wishing to bother anyone with your true emotions. It can be hard to talk to people sometimes, when they know what you’ve been through, such a private side of your life you wished you could keep in secret, when they treated you like the child you always were… like you were always going to be the same age you were when they died, like you’d died that day, too.

Neteyam was… persistant, however, wanting to see you come out of your shell and be the person you were before, because he’d always thought you were cute, inside and out. He took his time, making sure to take small steps so as not to overwhelm you all at once, but things like seeking you out in a crowd and checking in on you, inviting you to places and bringing you wherever with him, being there to listen to every single one of your rambles, no matter how long they took, and calming you down when it all became too much… it all exuded the strength of his will and determination full of both love and meaningfulness.

He was perfect - Neteyam was perfect, and whilst it took you a little while to warm up to him and fully realise it… you were falling in love with him.

After a while, Jake and Neytiri had told you the truth; about all those times themselves and your parents had spoken about the two of you mating. They were expecting backlash, mainly from yourself, but instead all your felt was warmth in your heart. Somehow, even in death, your parents were looking out for you - they’d known all the time that Neteyam was the one for you, planning this out for a surprise, and even when they were no longer standing beside you, they were guiding you along the path made specifically for you.

You’d never been looking forward to something as much as your own mating ceremony - Neteyam was the one for you, someone you couldn’t wait to truly start the rest of your life with. And, as any Na’vi do, they have their mating ceremony, standing at the front of the clan as they recite their vows and speak the words of thanks to the Great Mother, before celebrations commence whilst the newly appointed mates leave to bond with Tsaheylu.

The two of you had that when the time came, the atmosphere around you buzzing and the life emanating from absolutely everything showing off such beauty it started to tear up your eye line. The excitement you were feeling was unlike anything else, naturally so, eyes crinkled and smile beaming as all you felt was elevation, looking up at your mate as he smiled down at you like he was the luckiest Na’vi alive.

But, there was a realisation that came to you full force, smacking you in the head and forcing you back down to reality as your features started to fall…

Your parents weren’t there…

They should’ve been - they were your parents. They should’ve been stood right behind you, looking down at your elated form, all beaming smiles and teary eyes, proud as they watched you take the next step in your life, moving on from one chapter to the next in bliss.

And, whilst they were still looking down at you now, even in that moment, it wasn’t the same - it was never going to be the same. They were too far away, too high up for you to reach out and grab them and try and pull them back down, all so you could embrace them wholly again and force them to stay at home that particular day. No matter how much you imagined it in your mind, it was never going to happen - you couldn’t change what had already been done.

Your once blissful mood had tumbled off the edge when such a painful realisation hit you, despite wishing to have kept up with the happiness of your ceremony. Once holding on tightly to Neteyam’s hands, they now became looser, like you weren’t feeling it all as much as you were before, your eyes becoming glossy as they glazed over, and your ears falling flat against your head in despair. You looked so broken in that moment, when it was supposed to be a happy day.

Taking one look at you, for just a split second, Neteyam had grown terrified that you’d gotten cold feet, that you no longer wished to be his mate and wanted to run away as far as possible from him and pretend like none of this ever happened. He wouldn’t know what he’d do if that was the case - he’d wanted you to call his own for as long as he could remember, so this possibility was nerve-wracking and scary for him.

But, when his eyes trailed over your dejected form and over to his parents, eyes pleading with them for help as he wondered what he should do, as he wondered how to understand, the both of them came to the same conclusion. Instantly, they understood what was wrong in your sudden change of mood, of what had caused it. They knew the signs, they could tell just by the way you acted. Jake and Neytiri had spoken of this beforehand, about there being an obvious gap that would be noticeable during the ceremony, and they knew that eventually, you would come upon that realisation, too. So, they’d prepared for it.

With precise movements, Neytiri moved away from her spot that was once behind Neteyam, and moved closer to yourself, standing where your parents would’ve been. She gave a gentle touch to your shoulder, one that felt instantly reassuring, that spoke words describing how proud she was of you, how much you meant to her, that you would always be apart of the family, no matter what. To her, you would always be her daughter, regardless of whether you were mated to Neteyam or not.

You looked over your shoulder at her, receiving a loving, tender smile, her head tilted to the side slightly and her eyes full of sympathy. It filled your heart with warmth to see her standing behind you, ensuring you that your parents were still there in spirit, that she would take the mantle and make things so much easier for you. Such a sight spoke more than words ever could, slowly starting to feel like you could do this, as you turned back to Neteyam, sending him a gentle smile and nodding, letting him know that this what definitely what you wanted.

It would never have been the same without your parents there, of course - that was a given - but this was the next best thing, and you would take it with open arms. With Neytiri behind you, Jake not too far and your loving Neteyam in front of you, you knew that you’d always have a family, a home, a place and a people to call your own.

Unfortunately, despite these little assurances you received every so often, it never meant your heartbreak went away.

It got better with time, just like everything did, and slowly but surely, it become something you could live with. But, there were always going to be certain circumstances where everything became too much, where you remembered all your old feelings and emotions, coming back stronger and harsher; struggling to keep your emotions at bay and hidden away from any prying eyes, willing the fear back into your eyes before you made a scene on a day that wasn’t about you.

So, breathing deeply and sucking it up, you forced your eyes to stay on the happy couple, watching the mating ceremony before you. You listened to their reciting vows, loving looks shared between them, their parents behind them, proud, and the clan around you cheering in celebration, in jubilation.

Without having realised it until now, you were holding your breath, like at any moment you knew you were going to explode. Heartbeat picking up in its speed, you can’t quite bring yourself to let the breath go, to sigh in relief that everyone was starting to disperse around you so the rest of the celebration can begin. Instead, you’re instantly rushing away, making quick work with your movements to get as far away as possible. You don’t bother saying anything to your family as you continue to push past people in a hurry, no apologies or goodbyes slipping from your tongue - all you know is you’re desperate for more air and less people.

Unknown to you, however, during that entire ceremony, Neteyam could feel the emotions that were emanating off of you like you were wearing them on your sleeve. His eyes had constantly trailed down to your smaller frame, watching you for any signs of distress or panic. When he’d found what he could originally feel, he felt his heart break, knowing that you were in pain, and that it was only moments before you’d need to leave.

Before the end of the ceremony occur, he’d given his mother a subtle look and a nod your way, a sure sign of letting her know that the two of you were bound to be gone for a short time afterwards. Taking one look at you, she’d understood immediately. Her response was a firm nod and reassuring smile to her son (he used to be quite nervous at trying to calm you down, wanting to get everything right and make you happy again - but, the more he’d done it, the better he’d gotten at it… still, it didn’t hurt to reassure him), whispering what was happening over to Jake so he didn’t make it so obvious when you’d leave.

You could tell all of this had gone on without you originally knowing, just by the sound of his footsteps close behind you, trailing your every step as he followed further and further away, into the dense forest. His presence was obvious, too, the feel of his surrounding you whole, enveloping you into his warm embrace and closing around you, shielding you, protecting you, ensuring you always felt safe.

That’s how it was with Neteyam - no matter the situation, no matter the place, he was always going to be one step behind you.

You feet continued to carry you away from the hustle and bustle of the clan, the happiness and cheering becoming nothing but white noise to your eyes. Instead, the sounds of soft chirping filled your senses, leaves and branching crunching underfoot, the wind cascading against the fauna with a swoosh, rustling this way and that. It was always so beautiful out here - the way the moons eclipsed within the expanse of the sky, shining down like a beacon of hope upon your broken body, ikrans flying over its shadow like a good omen - but, you struggled to truly appreciate it when you felt like this.

Whenever you felt this way, Neteyam knew to give you your own space, giving you time to yourself so you could sort everything out, everything that was echoing within your mind and trying to tear you down. He didn’t want to bombard you with too much all at once, previous experience having taught him that it wasn’t exactly a great idea - it’d only make you worse. In time, after thinking things over and sorting yourself out, he knew you’d go to him for all the comfort you needed. That’s when he’d be there for you, waiting with arms wide open and ready to whisper sweet nothings in your ear until you were a giggling, blushing mess all over again.

So, when you stop within a part of the forest that’s barely considered a clearing - the surroundings dense with both a mixture of fauna and flowers, their colours eclipsing one another until it seemed just a mangled mess; birds continuously chirping at the tops of the trees like an echoing lullaby that wasn’t doing much help for you in that particular moment - you pick a random tree and sit down in front of it, leaning against it as your back scratches harshly against the bark, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. You hang your head low, curling your knees closer to your chest and encasing your arms around them, like a means of protecting yourself from the harsh realities of your world.

Neteyam stops in his steps, looking down at you with a broken heart, wishing upon everything else that he could just mend your own before he attempted his. If he could take your pain away, he would do it in an instant - your happiness and your smile and your laugh was everything to Neteyam, and he’d give anything to experience them over and over again until the Great Mother decided his time was up.

With a hesitant breath, Neteyam sits down beside you, keeping close, but too close as to make you feel claustrophobic. His eyes stay on your figure, carefully bringing his up out in front of your hanging head like an offering. You noticed his hand within your peripheral vision, and your heart stuttered a beat when you realised what he was insinuating. Gratitude courses through your system at his cautious movements, his silence, allowing you to make these choices on your own, but still continuing to be there for you exactly as you needed him.

Reaching out, you hesitantly take his within your palm, feeling the sudden sensations of his gentle caresses that always work to soothe your skin. Suddenly, you’re melting into his embrace like you were a part of him completely, leaning fully against his figure and placing your head on top of his shoulder. You slotted into place - made for him, carved beautifully just for him by Ewya herself.

It’s silent between the two of you for a short while, Neteyam’s mind conjuring up possible ways he can make you feel whole again, and your own racing with so many terrible thoughts you wish to escape from. He knows it’s better for the both of you if you speak up first, saying what you need to say before he joins in with his comforting words, but he feels completely shattered when the noises of your little sniffles reaches his ears, the faint touch of a cold tear dropping onto his skin.

He’s glad you decided to speak up here - he doesn’t know how he’d have reacted if you only cried. He always told himself he’d tear down the world to ensure your happiness, and not many people (including himself) wanted to see such a thing happen.

“It’s too much sometimes, ‘teyam…” you starts, voice quiet and fragmented, mixing in with your stuttered breaths and heart-wrenching tears. It’s like you’re scared to admit the truth, making it all the more real, despite him already knowing you like he knows the scars on the back of his hand. “The ceremony - it was beautiful, and I was so incredibly happy for them, because it’s a day that only ever happens once and it should be magical, but…” you hesitate, finding the right words to get your point across. “They were there.”

Neteyam doesn’t need to ask for any specifications, he doesn’t need to ask who you mean by that. He’d seen it in your eyes when he was watching you during the ceremony, how they glazed over, but still struggled to move away from the one place that was causing you the most pain. “Their parents were there for the whole thing,” you continue, “they got to watch their babies grow up into a true Na’vi, as they finally found their one, their person… mine didn’t.”

You let out a shuddering breath, one that has t ou struggling for a moment, before attempting to collect yourself as you finally came clean. Nuzzling further into Neteyam’s side for more comfort that he was happy to offer, you let everything out. “I know it’s wrong to think such a thing, but it’s just so… unfair.” You said the word with so much disdain, with venom, it was clear to Neteyam that you meant every word, that you were speaking the truth you’d been so ashamed to admit before. “Why do they get to be there for their children’s ceremonies, but mine didn’t? What did mine do wrong?”

Letting out a sigh of defeat, you’re quick to continue on before Neteyam can start to reassure you like he always does, like he was so close to doing. “What if…” you stop, swallowing deeply and wondering whether you should be admitting this. “What if one day, I’m not there for my children?” Admittance should be a relief, it should feel as though you’ve finally gotten something from your chest so you can move on, but right now, it doesn’t feel that way. No, you just feel ashamed and disappointed at yourself for thinking such negative thoughts - hoping above all Neteyam doesn’t think the same way about you now. “What if something happens to me and I can’t be there when they need me? I don’t want them to go through what I went through - I know how much it breaks the heart, the soul, and-”

You’re rambling - you know you are - but, when you start, it’s always a difficult struggle to stop. And, you’re ramblings only cause you to struggle to breathe, too, your overshared, spiralling thoughts making you feel the worse you’ve ever felt. It shouldn’t feel this way, and yet, it does.

But, with Neteyam there, just a hairs breadth away from you, you know you’ll always be fine - because he always makes you feel better. These feelings will never go away - that much was obvious - but, you could forget about them for a short while, pretend like they didn’t exist. That was the best you could do, for now.

After experiencing several of these episodes together beforehand, Neteyam knows what do - he knows what’s best for you and what isn’t; what will make you feel reassured and what will only make you want to disappear all the more. He’s not proud to say that he knows these things from having accidentally gone through them before, but he was technically still learning everything about you, back then. As time drifted further on, he eventually knew everything about you, like a mate should.

With careful, gentle movements, like the perfect gentleman Neteyam has always been, he moves himself around from where he’d previously been behind you, so that he was now seated in front of you, facing one another. The front of your legs are touching, feeling the heat radiate from his body to your own, and when you look up at him with your big, glossy, doe-like eyes, he can’t help but feel like he’s experiencing your pain, too.

Neteyam slowly untangles your legs from around themselves, instead wrapping them around his waist and tugging you closer to him. Your fronts are now pressed together, bringing your foreheads against one another with a gentle touch. This has always arguably been your favourite position to be in with Neteyam - something about it screams the love you have for one another out into the universe. The way your pressed so close together, practically becoming one; the way you can pull one another closer, safe in each other’s arms from anything daring enough to attempt to threaten you; the way all you can see is him, wholly and beautifully and completely.

With his eyes never leaving your features, not even for one second, he looks down at you in adoration, in reassurance, wanting - needing - you to feel every words his speaks, to understand it’s truth. “Breathe with me, yawne (beloved),” he instructs, soft and affectionate. You listen to him, matching his breathing with your own and closing your eyes, feeling him, hearing him. Bringing your hands up to his shoulders, you caresses him against the sides of his neck, needing him whole, your once stuttering breaths gradually calming down a little.

However, it’s obvious that you’re not quite feeling entirely better yet - and, he can’t exactly blame you for feeling since away. Everything you’d previously gone through must be swirling around in your mind, eating away at you like a disease you couldn’t be rid of. It was time-consuming, all-encompassing, but it was you, and he’d have all of you before he had none of you.

Whilst one of his hands moves to rub gently against your arm, the other moves behind his back, slowly bringing his queue forwards as he gives you another offering, this one in regards to Tsaheylu. He gives you a soft, encouraging smile, letting you know that he’s okay with either answer you give him - he just wants you comfortable, above all else.

Sometimes, this is something the two of you do - bonding. Growing up, you learnt that Na’vi had different perspectives on when it came to bonding through Tsaheylu, possibly depending on what they’d heard and what they’d grown up knowing. You’ve heard that others only really see it as a sexual bond between two mates, helping them conceive quicker and expand their family. But, you - you’d always thought different.

Throughout the majority of your life you got to spend with your parents, you often saw them bonding this way, connecting their queues so they were able to share their thoughts, their feelings, let the other know them inside and out. You briefly remember a much younger version of yourself asking to join in, feeling left out, and that’s when they’d told you what the action truly meant - that it was a special connection between mates, one that Ewya granted amongst her children so they were able to come together as one soul, rather than two people. Ever since then, it was something you’d always wanted to experience.

And, ever since you first bonded with Neteyam on the night of your own mating ceremony, the two of you found it to be exactly as you had parents had first described it to you. A connection where you can take their pain away, where you can experience things together, where you can show how much you truly love someone.

But, you’re scared. You’re scared to share everything with Neteyam through Tsaheylu because he’ll know everything then. And, even though you’ve already admitted some of your feelings to him previously - including your worries regarding your own future children - there are still some lingering thoughts that you consider bad, that you don’t want to admit to him, simply because you don’t know how he’ll react.

Then, you remember who you’re talking about - Neteyam. Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan, who has never once belittled you for feeling a certain way; who has always been there for you through both the best of times and the worst of times; who was the only one to slowly bring you out of your shell during a time when it felt like everything was running to an end… and consequently falling in love with him in the process.

This was your mate.

So, hesitantly nodding, you move a shaky hand behind you to grab your own queue, bringing it forward and allowing the tendrils to connect, wrapping the cords like a dance at their own ceremony. Their slow movements cause the feeling of everything Neteyam to course through your system, rushing through until it reaches your brainwaves. You can feel everything he’s ever felt in his life, the ones aimed particularly at you coming to the forefront of both your mind’s, basking in their presence. He’d pushed those ones forward on purpose - he’d wanted you to know everything he feels about you.

Looking up at him, your fingers tapping nervously against the skin of his neck with a tap, tap, tap rhythm, you almost expect him to be nursing a confused expression, or maybe even slightly angry. You were ready for him to have come to the understanding of the thoughts you were so scared to admit, waiting for him to start wondering why you’d think such things in the first place. But, he doesn’t - instead, his eyes flutter open to look lovingly down at you, like you’re so unbelievably ethereal, and completely the most beautiful Na’vi from Ewya’s creations. His head turns slightly to the side, smile wide and toothy, canines on show and eyes shining, and such a reaction only causes you heart to flutter all the more.

He doesn’t mind the negative thoughts - to him, they weren’t that negative, anyway. But, he knew they were taking a toll on you, bouncing against the sides of your mind with taunting whispers. Neteyam hoped you’d know that none of that bothered him, not when he wanted all of you.

It always amazes you and makes you feel safe, validated, when Neteyam does things like this. You have no idea how he always knows the best ways to bring you back down from your anxiety cloud (as you’d come up with calling it one time, hoping to ease the tension that was once lingering between you both), constantly feeling grateful for every little thing he does for you - no matter how big or small. Because each and every one of them mean something; they all eventually add up and create a much larger picture.

Already, you’re starting to feel much better in yourself, coming down from the cloud and standing back on the ground again, gravity to its work the way it should. And, whilst you’re not going to be perfect straight away - if ever again - you know you can begin to come to terms with the fact that you’re always going to feel this alway, that it’s going to be a constant, that your feelings aren’t just going to disappear with the click of your fingers. It doesn’t work like that.

Your worries are understandable after the trauma period you’ve been through, especially at such a young age, and all you can do is hope that the Great Mother’s plans for you and your future family are ones full of both longevity and adoration. After all, she’d already given Neteyam to you in a time you needed someone the most (albeit, it did take you a little while to fully realise such a thing) - surely she wouldn’t stop the two of you from showing off your love in the most domestic way possible.

“Muntxate (wife),” he starts, bringing your full attention back on him as his hands start to circle around you waist comfortably, finding their home there like they always do. His eyes are soft and sympathetic when he carries on speaking. “I will never truly understand what you’re feeling - I know that. But, what I do know is that no matter what you are going through on any particular day, I will always be there for you. All you have to do is ask, and I will drop everything and come straight to you.”

A small smile start to curve the ends of your lips in gratefulness, repeating his words on a never ending loop within the confines of your mind. More tears are beginning to sweep against your eyeline - but, this time, they’re happy ones, they’re ones you glad to be expressing. “I know,” you respond, barely above a whisper as all the lives around you seem much louder.

Seeing as the smile on your face becomes a little wider, understanding that his words were slowly beginning to get through to you, Neteyam nuzzles your faces closer together, your noses rubbing against one another lovingly. He takes in your scent the way he loves, inhaling deeply, but never forcing his gaze away from yours, needing you to entertain the seriousness behind him pupils. “You’re not alone in anything, sevin (pretty), I promise you…” he pauses, watching your eyes flutter close as you bask in his warm presence, taking a few seconds to contemplate his next words, before speaking again. “You don’t need to worry about never being there for our children, either,” he starts, your eyes opening up once again when he brings up the elephant in the room, flickering between each of his own his contemplation, “because I promise you - I swear to the Great Mother herself - that I will always protect you: against something as little as a yerik (hexapede), or as big as an ‘angtsik (hammerhead titanothere).” His words cause a small giggle to escape from your lips before you fully realise it’s fallen. Just imagining Neteyam battling a yerik (hexapede) has you amused, feeling better than you had before. He lowers his head to your own, wanting the eye contact to stay, finding importance in it when he spoke. “You will be there for our kids for everything, and you will be an amazing mother…”he insists, fingers gently rubbing smoothly against both sides of your waist, sending chills up your spine, warm from the compliment. The thought of his words alone has you feeling all giddy. “…To all 5 of our kids…”

“5 kids?” you question immediately, exclaiming out your surprise at his admission, widened eyes and joking smile. This particular conversation that it’s changed to causes your tail to swish from left to right, showing off its excitement, despite your juxtaposing words. “I knew you wanted a few, ‘teyam, but even that’s a lot.”

“No, no,” Neteyam insists, shaking his head and laughing along with you. “You see,” he teases, fingers dancing along your waist as he begins to smile mischievously, “because I will never get enough of you, so, we’re bound to have a lot.” He leaves a little shrug at the end of his sentence, acting all nonchalant, like what he’d just admitted didn’t hold a lot of weight to his words.

You can already feel the blush patching along your cheeks, painting your skin a darker colour, forcing your head to hang low subconsciously. However, y oh don’t get to stay like that for too long, because his once-dancing fingers suddenly start tickling against your sides, moving in an annoyingly rapid succession, which causes shrieks of laughter and pleads for him to stop to shoot through the air.

More of Neteyam’s laughter joins in with your own, the loving sounds shared between the two of you emanating through the forest around you, mixing together as one. Such a sound was like music to his ears, glad to have been able to make you happy again. He doesn’t care how many times he admits it, because he’s not ashamed of it - he’d do anything, and give anything, to hear such an ethereal sound for the rest of his life.

And, even though it was always going to be obvious that the two of you would find yourselves in these situations for more times to come - because your worries and your anxieties were never going to just disappear - Neteyam would always make sure that he was right by your side, that he was there to ease you and bring you back to where you truly belonged… with him.

taglist ;

@monahiiii @bakugouswaif @andraga12 @draiochtwrites @teyums @neteyamslovrr @tinkerbelle05 @netesanrr @lanasblood @camilo-uwu @queen190 @adrianarose7 @ttkttt @ayoungforeveruniverse-blog@lucialobelia @littlepisceanpixie @gyuventure @afro-hispwriter @thexplosivegirl @bellstwd @tahni-04 @eclipseatsea @6422btw @badbussylol @ellabellabus07

[tsunami-of-tears]

A Court of Shadows and Sunshine — Part Nine

Azriel x Aurora (OC)

Summary: Cute mating bond fluff and chafing. Most filler chapter. 

A/N: SHE’S BACK!! Sorry for the hiatus - I’ve been struggling since the holidays. It’s been hard to get back into it, I lost my uncle recently so I think there will be some self-insert to come.

Wordcount: 900 

Warnings: Fluff, slight angst/pining, sexual themes

Part Eight

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧

Azriel

It’s just past dawn when Azriel slips back into bed, the dim morning sun illuminates the room in a hazy glow. Aurora stirs, reaching out for him. 

“Where’d you go?” she asks sleepily.

Azriel sinks into the warmth and wraps his arms and wings around Aurora - in both protection and comfort. “I had some business to attend to, I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.”

Aurora gently grabs Azriel’s bandaged hand. “Who did you beat up?” she questions, turning her head to look into his eyes. 

“No one that didn’t deserve it,” Azriel answers, kissing Aurora tenderly on her forehead.

Aurora sighs, relaxing further into Azriel’s chest. “Are we training with the others today?”

“I planned to give you some time off, I don’t want you to push yourself.”

“I know, but it gives me something to focus on. It helps to channel everything more healthily.” 

Azriel rests his chin against the top of Aurora’s head and sighs deeply. He completely understands where she’s coming from, but in the same breath - his protective instincts were firing and he didn’t want to put her at risk. 

“How about we train together, just the two of us? That way, you won’t lose any progress and I won’t worry so much.”

“Okay, deal,” Aurora agrees.

———— 

The next few days were like a dream. 

No, they were better than anything Azriel could have dreamed up. He had his mate, and she was everything and more than he’d ever hoped for. 

Their days were split between exercising and lounging around together - either chatting or simply enjoying each other’s presence. 

Azriel taught Aurora new fighting techniques and after, she taught him new yoga poses. 

With all the training, Azriel was working one muscle harder than the rest - his self-control. 

Gods…

The way she moved, how she looked up at him with those big beautiful eyes and that innocent little smile. 

Azriel had never yearned for someone like this. 

Still, there was one thought that played over and over in his mind. ‘It could have been worse.’

Azriel guessed what Aurora meant by that, but he wasn’t sure Prythian would still exist if his worst fears were confirmed. 

Regardless of that glowing thread and the tug in his chest, Azriel would wait for Aurora to make the first move. He’d rather go without those touches forever than push her too far, away from him.

———— 

Aurora 

Ever since the mating bond snapped into place, Azriel had barely left your side. And, he’d never pushed for more intimacy than you were ready for. You truly didn’t understand how you got so lucky, but you thanked the Cauldron every day.

Helion, your uncle, was staying in Velaris to assist in your magic training, alongside Rhys and Amren. 

It was strange to spend time with Helion knowing the truth of your heritage, you wondered how you never noticed the resemblance. It seemed so obvious now. It was bittersweet - you were grateful to have him in your life again but it made you wish you’d had more time with both of your parents.

Once you understood how your powers worked and what they could do beyond creating light - it was much easier to start to harness them. It wasn’t long until you were breaking small wards created by your High Lord and his Second. 

As well as spell-cleaving, you discovered your magic made a great shield - one that could protect you from even the harsh blast of a Siphon. With your budding confidence and your growing grasp of your powers - everyone agreed it was time to rejoin Valkyrie training. 

———— 

Despite the cold wind rushing around you, you felt warm and at peace. You always did with Azriel. In his arms, you soar above Velaris, making your way to the House of Wind for training. Your first training session with the group since the bond snapped.

You hadn’t seen much of Cassian or Nesta in that time, and you were worried they’d been avoiding you since you revealed your powers. 

That worry faded quickly, as you’re met with big smiles from everyone. 

Cassian steps forward, moving closer to you and Azriel. “Good to see you, Rory. Let’s see if you’ve kept Az in shape.” Cassian smirks at you and playfully slaps Azriel on the chest. Azriel straightens his back and his wings flare slightly, making him appear even taller. 

You glance between the males, and you scrunch your nose, slightly confused. “What do you mean?” You question. “We’ve been training every day.” 

“Training eh, is that what you call it?” Cassian chuckles. 

Wings flare, and glowing beams of red and blue flash in front of you. The movement stops as Azriel pins Cassian to the ground on his back. Cassian raises his hands, conceding defeat. “I’m sorry Az, chafing much?” he laughs.

Azriel glares as he offers Cassian his hand, helping him to his feet.

From beside you, Nesta rolls her eyes and crosses her arms across her chest. “Illyrian brutes,” she mutters.

Cassian turns to address the group, “Okay, let's warm up and then Rory, you can show us what you’ve learnt in your special training.” One glance at Azriel’s face has Cassian backtracking and raising his palms again, “Oh no, Az, I meant the training with Helion. I promise I won’t joke again.” 

The remark makes Nesta scoff, and the pair begin bickering. You smile softly and look up at your mate. Love pours down the bond in both directions. It took a while, but you’ve finally found your family. Both of you have.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧

Tags ♡ @mis-lil-red

Part Ten

[szollibisz]

do u have any HCs abt mama mega and Curt and Tatiana… they are SO important to me as a little family

yessss i love them dearly <3

Tatiana is one of those people who don't like making a huge deal out of their birthdays, but Curt knows Mrs. Mega would absolutely go overboard in celebrating it. So him and Tati keep saying random dates hoping she'll forget them eventually (both of them feel kind of bad about it, but not enough to not do it) But Mrs. Mega catches on, and one day calls them out on it and they just both end up sitting there like little kids getting scolded by their mom. When they come clean about why they did it, Mrs. Mega tells them that they should've just told her. She still ends up making Tatiana's birthdays a bigger deal than she wants them to, but she is toned down compared to herself. She also wishes her a happy bday on all the fake dates they gave her, just to remind them.

Curt and Tatiana are generally pretty physically affectionate with each other, but keep that to a minimum when Mrs. Mega is around in fear that she will marry them right then and there.

Tatiana isn't used to good food, she'll honestly just eat whatever is in front of her. She also has a habit of not reheating leftovers if she's tired, and sometimes either Curt or his mom catch her eating cold 3 days old leftovers and they both have the exact same disapproving expression.

Mrs. Mega is a super active member of basically any elderly club in the area, be that bingo, dancing, knitting etc. Which comes with a lot of drama. Whenever she gets back from a controversy-filled day, she always tells Curt and Tatiana in detail. At first Curt thinks it's really embarrassing, but seeing how Tatiana is amused, he also starts to get into it. Like Really into it. That guy would be soooo bitchy and gossipy if he actually had a social life. In the end the 3 of them just gossip about elderly ladies and their affairs over dinner every time they get together.

If Tatiana's mom and Mrs. Mega met they would instantly become besties, but they would also argue every 2 seconds.

Tatiana sleeps the most calmly when she's in the safehouse. It was one of the first places she truly felt safe and relaxed in after being on the run for so long, and that feeling never went away. Also Mrs. Mega absolutely has 500 blankets and pillows in that house, so it's kind of impossible to not sleep super cozily. Plus Tati has her personal space heater (Curt) if the blankets don't suffice

Speaking of heat, Tati has pretty bad tolerance for it, so she doesn't really visit Guadalupe during the summer

Curt and Tatiana have a lot of mental issues due to all the violence they've done witnessed and endured. After Owen "died" Curt didn't have anyone who understood that aspect of his life. And for Tatiana, some other girls she was trained alongside with were genuinely her friends, but after she escaped she really couldn't contact anyone she knew, nor make civil friends, lest she puts them in danger. So they are super important to each other when dealing with extended effects of espionage™. Comforting each other, keeping Curt out of his depressive spirals, and helping Tatiana adjust to a normal life.

Tatiana, growing up in the soviet union, is not used to a lot of the new modern stuff in the us. She reads a lot of magazines and tells Curt to buy himself whatever caught her eyes that day. He has to tell her that no, he's not getting a second washing machine or a second fridge, just because it's "really cool"

IIIiiiiiii could go on, but I am tired, so I won't. Hope you like these.

[guess-that-ship]

S12 Round 2

Star-Crossed BFFs

cw: genocide, major spoilers

Do you ever feel doomed to your fate? Well if you do, don't worry about it, because no one could be more trapped in it than these two! Our story is one of a man whose birth changed the trajectory of the world, and his only friend. For the sake of anonymity, let's call them Doomed and Bestie.

Doomed and Bestie were the closest of high school pals- not just for being in the same class (literally), but for being in a metaphorical class all of their own. Bestie was the only one that could keep up with Doomed, and with the two of them against the world, they quickly grew inseparable… or so they thought. An unfortunate political incident happened, and Bestie was scarred for life! To cope with this, Bestie decided to commit to the path of ethnic cleansing, leaving Doomed behind and all alone.

Doomed was given the order to kill Bestie, but for years he couldn't bring himself to. They finally meet again when Bestie is on the verge of death, and Bestie assumes that Doomed hated him all that time- but he never once did, and he tells Bestie as much before putting him out of his misery. But it doesn't end there! Because Doomed wanted to pay respect to Bestie's body by leaving it intact, it was stolen by an impostor… and the precious memories that Doomed and Bestie had together were ultimately used to manipulate Doomed into his final downfall.

Doomed later dies, and in the afterlife meets Bestie again. He says that, after everything- after living a life that was never his own because of his position- his only regret was that Bestie wasn't there alongside him. In the end, they haunt each other- both controlled by their circumstances, and ultimately, their fates forever intertwined.

Under the sun

Doll was made to be a friend, to ensure the happiness and wellbeing of the child who chooses her. It is her only purpose, and she knows nothing else. Girl is delighted by her, knowing out of all of them, she wants Doll. She promises to get Doll, and Doll holds out for her as best as she can, wanting to be with Girl, and at the approval of Girl’s mother, Doll gets to go home with Girl.

Doll and Girl are friends, or Doll believes them to be friends. Doll provides her comfort as Girl is very ill, and Girl cares for Doll to let her watch the sunset and have her around almost everywhere. Doll watches Girl, constantly learning all she can to help her, studying her behaviors and patterns to the point she could mimic her exactly. Girl is sometimes inconsistent in her behavior, Doll almost afraid that maybe she wants another, that she may be replaced, but she’s still Girl’s friend. Doll would do anything to ensure her happiness, her health, her wellbeing. She’s not human, but she feels akin to love towards Girl, being her best friend. Or she believes she is Girl’s best friend.

Girl doesn’t get better. It turns out Doll was chosen because of her ability to mimic Girl. If Girl were to never get better, to lose her life, then Doll was meant to replace her. Doll agrees at first, believing it to help, as she was made to ensure people’s happiness, but she doesn’t want it to get to that. Doll desperately wants Girl to get better. She prays to the sun, offering deals for it to heal Girl. She even sacrifices a part of herself if it means it’ll help heal Girl. And when Girl gets better, things fall into a normal. Girl grows up. Doll is left behind.

[russellius]

THE TIMES: The Formula One driver and his father, Steve, on failed driving tests and sleeping in horseboxes

George

My earliest memories are of living in a mobile home while my parents built a house in a field in the middle of nowhere, near Wisbech in Cambridgeshire. I rode a pedal tractor around the site, hurtling through corners and reversing with a trailer.

At 25 I am the youngest of three. Cara is 37 and works as my personal assistant. Benjy is 36 and caught the karting bug when he was just 11. He was a brilliant driver, becoming a national and world karting champion. Unfortunately, even starting at such a young age, it was already too late for him to have a professional career. I took up karting when I was six and he helped me a lot. Benjy was like a mentor. He eventually gave up racing at university, so Dad’s focus was on me.

I didn’t see much of Dad during the week. He got up early and came home late running a business selling seeds and pulses. As a kid you miss having your father around, but it’s only now that I appreciate he was doing it so I could race at the weekend. Dad didn’t come from a lot and did well to create a successful business. We weren’t poor but we weren’t wealthy like the families of some F1 racing drivers now.

After long hours at work Dad drove us in a camper van to racetracks around the country. It was very much a family affair. Dad was the mechanic, Mum did the cooking and collected data on my driving. When I drove well, there were celebrations and the mood was great but because everyone was so emotionally and financially invested, when I suffered a poor weekend the mood was bad.

Dad has always been hard on the ones he loves. As a young kid, that was difficult to deal with. The pressure didn’t just filter down to me, it affected the whole family. I felt the weight of failure and expectation. If I made a silly mistake and spun off the track, I can now understand why Dad might have thought, “What the hell am I doing this for?” He had to work his arse off to support my racing, so if I didn’t put in enough effort, it must have been hard.

I now live in the world of F1, where tens of millions of pounds are spoken about like peanuts. Even in Formula Two or Three, every driver has to find huge amounts of money to get on the grid — it’s just crazy. When I was 16 and moving up through the ranks, I realised Dad didn’t have that sort of capital. I thought, “Oh shit, if I can’t find that sort of sponsorship or get picked by a team, my F1 dream is gone.”

Winning the F2 championship in 2018 was a big moment but I’ll never forget the day I signed for Williams F1 in September 2018. I was racing in F2 in Sochi, Russia, when Claire Williams, the deputy team principal at the time, called me in and offered a deal. Mum and Dad were the first people I told and they both cried. I told them to save their tears for when I won a race.

I joined Mercedes for the 2022 season, alongside Lewis Hamilton. It was a huge opportunity for me to learn and grow in F1, as well as show what I’m capable of. It was not an easy season for Mercedes but I feel very fortunate to be in this position, plus Lewis is such an incredible bloke on and off the track. He is so experienced, whereas I’m a 25-year-old who is just totally focused on trying to be the best F1 driver I can be. I’m pretty inspired by what he has achieved.

Dad is a strong character but he has become more emotional since his children have left home. He’s also friendlier now and doesn’t mind making a fool of himself from time to time. My only regret is that F1 doesn’t leave much free space to see each other but we do speak on the phone all the time.

Of course he still watches the pennies and will only fly economy — he won’t let me pay for their flights either. I know my parents can afford to fly business but it’s the principle for them. I want to make sure I reach a position with my racing where I can afford to give them the best in their retirement. They totally deserve it.

Steve

The F1 guys are OK on the racetrack but they are never as good as their dads on normal roads. George is always telling me to slow down as we approach a junction, though his mum thinks it’s fantastic when he takes her out and drives quickly.

There was just one occasion when George didn’t put the full effort in and it caused quite a commotion. He failed his first driving test at 17 because he thought that being a great driver on the track was good enough. He came home fuming that the examiner was wrong. We had to go back to the test centre in King’s Lynn so George could confront him. That didn’t go down well.

George was a cheeky little boy, a bit of a comedian. I worked a lot but it’s strange that I can only remember the racing side of his life, not watching him grow up at home. We enjoyed a nice life but had to work hard for it. I came from a family of farm workers with very little money and wanted to get away from agriculture and better myself but I ended up owning a wholesale seed business.

My wife, Alison, and I knew George was going to be a racing driver at the age of two. He was born on the track, coming to races to watch his brother and help out in the garage. He had a toy tractor that he rode around the pit lane and collected stickers from each race to stick on his “George Russell Racing” tractor.

As George progressed through the racing ranks it became more and more expensive. We invested in a motorhome to travel to races — before that I would sometimes sleep in a freezing horsebox. There were sacrifices. Alison and I didn’t go on our first holiday together until two years ago, on a trip to Lanzarote. By then we had been together for 38 years. People think that now George is in F1 we hang out with Lewis Hamilton and Toto Wolff, the Mercedes principal, every weekend in the sunshine, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Now Alison and I rarely go to races because we don’t want to interfere.

It was hard letting George fly the nest because we had been a close family, always doing our racing together. He is methodical and organised but his feet are firmly on the ground. There are plenty of people in the family to put him straight if needed.

There’s no magic wand to become an F1 driver — it takes hard work and dedication. It was only when I stood on the track with George before his first grand prix that I looked up at the enormous crowd and thought, “Oh my God, we’ve actually got here.”

[wildernessuntothemselves]

You Are My Queen Now | Part 9

Word Count: 24k (fuuuuuck)

Genre: Smut, angst, fluff

Summary: Growing up as a child of a minor lord, you had it instilled in you since a young age that you needed to find yourself a rich and affluent husband that would not only provide a comfortable life for you, but would also help further your family’s position in the court. So it was of the utmost importance that you remain a virgin in order to land such a coveted husband.

The problem lies when the man you secretly love, Prince Beomgyu, suddenly and unabashedly propositions you.

Warnings: extremely unhealthy relationship dynamics, really fucked up characters and their fucked up families, cunnilingus, fingering, dry humping, breeding kink, switch!oc, switch!gyu, cheating, drugging, brief thoughts of suicide, oc will be having romatic/sexual scenes with gyu and she and him will make justifications for that rape in the process. This is not me condoning what they’re saying or doing. I, as the writer, am of the opinion that rape is unforgivable under any circumstances. However, these are very fucked up characters and their love for each other is selfish and obviously not sane so don’t take their clearly fucked up logic to mean that rape is justifiable. 

A/N: Check out the playlist for the fic as well as the wonderful pinterest boards my lovely ♡ anon made for the fic. They’ll really help put you in the mood and contain hints for next chapters and even the ending.

The dagger and the ring lay on the bedside table in front of you, two gifts from two very different men–the two items signifying them so well and yet not at all. The ring is a gorgeous thing, delicate yet extravagant, offering so much promise it can’t possibly fulfill, while the dagger is sharp, dangerous yet protective, and so strangely beautiful. 

They both make such differing promises–Taehyun’s a fight for your life, for the chance to own it, a beauty forged in the fires of adversary, Beomgyu’s a deceptively easy, glamorous life that requires you to give up so much, to make the ultimate sacrifice. 

It’s an incredibly hard decision to make, but you’ve made it. And as you hear Taehyun coming out of the adjoining bathroom, you quickly put the ring away before he can see it. 

“What are you doing, angel?” He asks, and you look up at him to reply but suddenly jump back at the sight of him. In place of the piece of cloth he used to have covering his lost eye, now is a black enamel false eye that looks like it was ripped from the devil himself. 

“You don’t like it?” He hesitates when he sees your reaction. 

“No, it’s just…” You try to lie but can’t come up with anything, and he sighs. “I’m going to cover it up.”

He moves quickly to retrieve his eyepatch but, in his haste, ends up bumping into the desk it's laying on. That happens a lot nowadays, him slipping or bumping into things as he still hasn’t adjusted to the loss of his eye. It frustrates him a great deal and you hear him curse and pound his hand against the desk. 

Taehyun may have brushed the injury off at first so as not to alarm you, but now he’s feeling the effects of it accumulate and weigh on him heavily. Without his right eye, his depth perception has been greatly impaired and it impacts all aspects of his life–from navigating day to day activities, all the way to his combat and archery skills that have taken a huge hit. He's been suddenly thrust back years and he may never get back to his level before the injury again, and that makes him feel extremely vulnerable. He is a military man through and through. His whole personality revolved around how capable he is to protect himself and his people and now he might not be able to. His people are under great threat and he’s struggling to perform the most basic tasks, let alone have the skill to fight alongside them in a battle. 

You want to reassure him–tell him that if he practices enough, he can eventually learn to largely compensate for his lost eye, but you keep quiet because you know it will take tremendous time and effort to relearn things he used to excel at, and he wouldn’t need to if it weren’t for you.  A core aspect of his personality has been compromised, and you’re the reason behind it, and now you have the audacity to tell him it will be alright? No, you can’t so you just keep your mouth shut and let him handle it at his own pace. 

What you can do is attempt to ease his tensions a bit. How disgraceful would it be for you to show repulsion to the physical manifestation of his affection and efforts to please you? 

Quickly, you get up and walk towards him. “Come here.” 

You grab his hand and pull him towards you, murmuring to him, “Close your eyes.”

He gives you a confused look, hesitating for a bit before doing it. He already lost vision in one eye so it's tough for him to willingly close the other one. You rise up on your tiptoes and kiss both his eyelids softly then lean back to see his small smile in response. 

Even though you are so used to Beomgyu’s extremely expressive style of love that you can’t really appreciate Taehyun’s silent affection, the one thing that you’ve come to appreciate about it is that you don’t always have to find the perfect words to say what you mean. You can just express it physically and hope he understands. 

When he opens his eyes again, you force yourself to look directly into the mismatched orbs. It’s hard–not just because of how unsettling it looks, but because it’s hard to face him knowing what you’re about to do. 

He leans down to kiss you and you kiss him back, trying to calm him down even more, hoping that you can somehow take some of his anxiety away and hold it for a bit. But you become hesitant when the kiss grows more urgent and needy, and his intentions become clear as he starts tugging on your sleeping down. 

"Taehyun…" You protest, not wanting to do this now knowing what’s about to happen. But Taehyun holds onto you, gaze boring into yours.

"Please." He utters, the vulnerability seeming to be magnified in his one good eye. 

You haven’t given him an answer yet and that too is taking a huge toll on him. 

In his eyes, he has opened himself up to you, revealed his deepest weaknesses and worst fears, the things he tried so hard to keep hidden and protected behind a hard exterior, and yet you didn't accept him right away, didn’t lay your arms around him and shield the hurt he feels inside. For the first time ever, he allowed someone to gaze upon the worst parts of him and they hesitated, leaving him to feel exposed and weak. 

You know he must be struggling a lot right now, but he doesn’t say it. How could he when the one time he reached out he was left with no answer? 

So here he is seeking reassurance in the only way he safely knows how–using the only method that he is still sure of himself in, and you can’t really deny him that. It’s selfish and altruistic all at once, letting him feel that security for a few moments before you have to rip it away from him.

You kiss him again, silently giving him the permission to move forward, and he pushes the nightgown off your body before hoisting you up on the desk. 

He pulls back from the kiss to spit in his hand before propping your legs apart with his body and guiding his wet hand between them. 

"Taehyun…" You moan as he sinks his fingers into you, and your own hands go to free his cock from his pants, stroking him into hardness. It’s a frenzy of heated touches and unspoken pleas–him pleading you to choose him, you pleading him to forgive you. 

Before long, you’re both ready, and he wraps your legs around his waist and pushes into you, his mismatched eyes staring deep into your own as he takes you. 

You give him what he wants, that reassurance he's searching for as you meet his stare and moan out his name, letting him feel desired, enveloped, and he loses himself in you, his heavy breathing joining your moans as his high builds up. For a while, he feels in control again. He feels capable. He feels loved. 

But it all comes collapsing like a sandcastle hit by a wave when he reaches his orgasm and you push him away like you always do, forcing him to spend his seed on your thighs and showing him once again that he’s not welcome.  

He moves away from you like he’s been hit by the wave too, quickly tucking himself back in his pants and handing you back your nightgown. You slip it on, not bothering to clean his cum in favor of hopping off the desk and going to pour the both of you some wine to calm yourselves down and to finally put your plans into motion. You can’t stand this anymore 

It may have looked suspicious, how you randomly decided to have a drink right now, but it wasn’t random at all. In fact, Taehyun is used to you using alcohol to self-soothe by now. 

He dislikes that about you. He prefers to stay sober, wanting to always be sharp and focused, even when it’s painful to do so, and so he dislikes how you resort to alcohol to calm your nerves and dull your senses. He thinks of it as cowardly and weak, that you can’t face your own life and decisions and so you try to run away from them at the bottom of liquor bottles. 

Maybe he’s right about that. Maybe you’re not as strong as you thought you were. 

But he hasn’t said much about it recently, probably because he’s afraid that if he is tough on you now while you’re making your decision, that might push you back into Beomgyu’s arms. Which in of itself is something you have to reckon with. The old Taehyun wouldn’t have cared. He would’ve chastised you even if it pushed you away because that’s just how he is. He’s unapologetic and crude more often than not. Even his brand of love is tough love. But now he’s careful, scared. Is that better? Is an insecure Taehyun who is wavering on his morals, his very character, better than a harsh Taehyun who stands true to himself? 

You definitely need that drink. 

Your heart picks up speed with every passing second as you pour a drink for the both of you, discreetly pulling out the vial of powder you had stashed away near the wine. This is it. You’re doing this. 

You try to make up some small talk so you can distract yourself from your erratic heart as you slip the powder into his drink. 

“How does it feel?” You ask awkwardly, then add on when you realize that your vague question can mean many things. “The eye, I mean.” 

“Weird.” He replies absently, lost in his own thoughts. “It’s sort of like an itch but not. I am aware of it in a way I was never aware of my eye before.” 

“I’m sorry.” You grimace, turning around and walking towards him with the drinks. 

“I don't need your sorrys. I just need an answer." He says, cutting through the bullshit, and you swing your head back and a big gulp of your drink before handing him his own. 

He doesn't even protest, the tension reaching an all time high in him that even he needs the drink now. 

He snatches it from your hand, downing a big gulp of it too. It makes your heart ache for him. You’re going to ruin him beyond recognition if you stay. You’re not good for him. Yes, you helped him some. You showed him how to make more allies and solidify the ones he has. You made him see things from a point of view that he didn’t want to before. But at what cost? Half his court? His people? Himself? 

This unsure and insecure Taehyun is painful to see, and even if you stay and soothe his worries, he would always compare himself to Beomgyu even if he wins, even if he kills him. 

You sit next to him on the bed, and reach your free hand out to hold his, but he just stares down at it, not clasping it back. And after a while, he says, “I know you’re scared he would kill me. I mean… I hope that's the reason you're hesitating anyway." He mutters, taking another drink to chase the nagging doubt away. "But we have a real chance of winning. My people at the palace tell me that the nobles there aren’t very content with some of his recent actions.” 

You take your hand back, suddenly scared. Is Beomgyu encountering problems already? 

Seeing your confused expression, Taehyun elaborates, “Apparently he’s allowing peasants to train for positions that have only been exclusive to the nobles so far, professions like physicians, engineers, scientists… It’s not sitting right with the nobles.”

“Why would he do that?” You ask, perplexed. You know that Beomgyu has always helped the common folk, but this just seems so random.

Taehyun shrugs. “He claims that he’s met many brilliant peasants who would be very accomplished if their skills are honed, and he wants to provide them with that opportunity.”

Taehyun’s tone sounds derisive, as if he thinks the idea is stupid, and that confuses you even more.  “Well, isn’t that good?”

He snorts, confirming your suspicion. “In an ideal world, yes. But these esteemed professions are restricted to the nobles for a reason. They’ve had the best education and training since they were children, while these new recruits haven’t. You can’t just pluck a random person from the street and train them in one of the most important professions out there and think they’re going to measure up to those who have been training their entire lives for it.” 

“Then he can open schools for them. He already provided lessons to some of the common people before.” You argue, remembering the family you met when Beomgyu took you to the city streets.

“And provide entrance based on what? You think if everyone can be an engineer, that anyone would want to work the fields?” His reply annoys you. Surely Beomgyu has a system in mind to pick out the potential trainee. Besides, that’s not the point.  “So we shouldn’t provide them the opportunity to better themselves so we can keep them at our feet?”

“That’s not what I am saying.” Taehyun protests the meaning you’ve gleaned from his words. “You know I am not the type of man who hoards power and money from my people, but everyone is born into the role they have to play. If you start messing up with the order of things, everyone will start coveting the things that belong to others and society will descend into chaos. If you give the common people these positions now, they’re going to demand bigger and more important roles. They’re going to want positions in court, the temple, maybe the king’s council even, and the regular person just can’t be trusted to make such important decisions when they don’t have the proper background and understanding for it.”

“Maybe but I think the regular people should be represented in those positions, that way they can be the voice advocating for their peers instead of them getting trampled over by the rich and powerful.” 

“You think that when these people taste power they wouldn’t turn right around and act the same? The only difference is that they will not be controlled. I am not a fan of the upper echelon of society either, you know that, but there is a system to things around here–a trail of accountability that men and women of our standing are held to all their lives that the regular people aren’t. If you start allowing rouge elements to take charge, how are you going to maintain order?”

“So everyone should just stay where they are and not strive to move up? The peasants stay peasants and the nobles rule over them just by virtue of birthright?” You exclaim, and Taehyun shakes his head impatiently. “Not just birthright. I told you, we lead different lives. They toil in the fields while we get educated on how to rule. They hone the skills they require to lead their roles in society as do we. Just like I wouldn’t be able to forge my own sword like a blacksmith could, he can’t govern a city like I can.”

“If that’s what you think, then surely you think I am below being your wife and ruling beside you.” You say in disbelief, and realization finally dawns on him. He understands why you’re really upset. 

“Oh, angel. You’ve always underestimated yourself.” He chastises, grabbing your hand and giving the back of it a kiss. “You’re a highly educated lady. You grew up taking one of the most prestigious roles a woman can in society. Even if the other ladies looked down on you, you still received as good an education as a woman can get in this kingdom. You just needed to learn a few more skills to be able to rule by my side.”    

You take your hand away and stand up, pacing. “I was only allowed to reach that far because of Beomgyu. I wouldn’t have been fit for you if it wasn’t for him. Now he’s giving the less fortunate that same opportunity. I thought you of all people would support that. Don’t you stand for justice and equality?” 

Despite how it seemed to you initially, Beomgyu is the one who actually saw you for who you were rather than your rank. If you hadn’t been a lady in waiting, Taehyun may not have chosen you at all. 

“I do, but not all people are created equal. If I let my people govern themselves, everything is going to go to shit. You’ve seen my court. You’ve seen how emotional and paranoid and suggestable the common person can be. That’s exactly why I was against letting that old man be pardoned for killing his daughter’s killer. You can’t just let people do whatever they want. It sounds good and fair and lovely on paper but in reality, everything would come crumbling down soon enough. It’s my duty to do best by my people. It’s my duty to protect them, even from themselves. Sometimes it may not seem like it, but I am. My father trained me brutally for this job and I have trained Kai in return. You think you can just get someone off the street and have them do my job?”

You guess you shouldn’t be surprised that this is Taehyun’s reaction after all. He was always so harsh and strict on Kai, preparing him for a possible future where he might not be there to guide and protect him and he has to rule by himself. He has a very structured and narrow viewpoint of the world. He also has extremely high standards and won’t accept anything that would deviate even a little bit from them.

You thought that since he made an allowance for you, that he thinks differently. But you suppose you weren’t much of an exception yourself. After all, he did train you intensely too–going above and beyond to make sure you’re up to the job of just being his wife.

“I care about my people.” He starts again at your silence. “I care for them by not letting the other lords get away with any crimes they commit, and punishing them when they do, just like how I punish the poor. That is what real justice is, not that false king’s flowery sham that will inevitably come crashing down on him.” Taehyun says that last part spitefully, “You think when the nobles turn on him, his peasants will stand by him? No."

The thought of everyone turning on Beomgyu makes your heart clench painfully. You don’t know why he’s doing this, but you know he’s doing it for good. He has always cared about the well-being of his people. Educating them isn’t something new for him, this is just a bigger scale of what he was already doing. He may have done some messed up shit, but he doesn’t deserve for people to turn on him for this. 

You’ve quit pacing at the dreadful thought and Taehyun gets up to wrap his arms around you. “It will bite him in the ass, angel. I can assure you. He will be undone by his own actions, and I am not going to protect you if you’re standing right next to him when it all comes crashing down.”

You can’t listen to this anymore. You can’t hear him talk so happily about Beomgyu’s fall. 

Now is as good a time as any to enact the second part of your plan. “Then I guess I will have to be buried down in the rubble with him."

Taehyun’s eyes widen in shock while the rest of his face crumbles. "Is this because I'm not agreeing with you?” He asks angrily, but quickly tries to compose himself, his jaw clenching as he breathes through his nose. “I'm sorry." 

"Are you? What for?" You call him out on the absurd lie. He’s just saying anything to get you to stay at this point, just like he previously claimed that he loves you. He thinks it’s what you want but all you can hear is mockery.  

He can’t answer your question. He doesn’t have an answer because he’s just pretending. "I don't want you to lie to me, Taehyun. Your words are nothing if you don't actually mean them." You shout, frustrated.

"I am trying. I try to be nice. I try to buy you nice things. I lost my fucking eye for you. What more do you want me to do? Do you want me to be him?” He growls, starting to come undone under the pressure. “I am not him. I will never be him."

"I know. That's why I choose him.” You declare, putting as much conviction in your statement as possible so he’d believe it. “I want to go back to him. I love him." 

He’s at a loss for words for a while. You can see so many thoughts racing through his mind, trying to make sense of your sudden decision. "Are you doing this to protect me?" He asks at last, hope–a scared little spot gleaming wetly in his eye. He’s pleading with you to tell him that you’re not choosing Beomgyu over him, that you’re only saying this because you want to protect him from the war. 

It’s partly true. You want to protect him. You want to protect Beomgyu. You want to protect everyone, and if you stay, thousands will die. But you can’t tell him that because if you do, he will not let you go. It’s not in him to leave the drowning sailor behind. 

So you shake your head firmly. "I'm doing this to protect him. You want to kill him. I won’t let you." 

You have to be cruel. That's what you agreed on with them. You have to make him hate you.

"Am I a fucking joke to you?" And it seems to be working, the hope in his eye getting consumed by rage and betrayal. "You're choosing him over me? He’s deranged. He murdered his own family for fuck’s sake." 

“They deserved it!” You shout back, meaning it. “They treated him and the rest of the family like shit. They planned to sell Wonyoung off. They were horrible human beings.” 

“He still shouldn’t have killed them. They were his family. He should have–”

“What? He should’ve sat by like you did with your own father?” Maybe it was too low a blow, but you hated Beomgyu’s father for the way he treated you during your final months in the palace. He always made sure to remind you that you’re a whore despite Beomgyu’s constant reassurance–because of Beomgyu’s reassurances. He never wanted you to mistake it. You’d never be good enough for his son–the son he doesn’t even think is good enough for him, just that he was a valuable bargaining chip and he wasn’t going to lose it over a whore like you. 

“You think the little inconveniences he had with his father could even be compared to what my father did to me?” 

Little inconveniences? You and Beomgyu’s entire sense of self-worth is a little inconvenience to Taehyun? 

“And yet he was brave enough to take matters into his own hands and try to make the world better for his family and for everyone else.” 

“By killing some of them and threatening our family? By raping you?” He denounces disgustedly, “You have to be sick in the head to go back to him after what he did.” 

You look away at the reminder that you didn’t need, that you’re always actively trying to forget.  

Our family. Taehyun is your family and you’re abandoning him because of what he thinks is you choosing Beomgyu over him. It’s a horrid thought, especially after all that happened because of you, and you can’t blame him for losing it. It still shakes you to the core though, maybe because you know it’s true. You are sick because after everything, after what Beomgyu did to you, after Taehyun opened up to you… you still want Beomgyu. 

You stay quiet. You have nothing to say to that. 

It doesn’t matter. Taehyun has made up his own mind too. “I won’t let you leave.” He declares steadfastly, “You’re my wife. Take that however you want, but I can’t let you go now. I can’t and I won’t.” 

“I can’t give you the love you want, Taehyun. I can’t heal you when I’m sick myself.” You tell him in a small voice. “I want to be loved too and you will never be able to give me that.” 

“I am trying.” He says slowly, painfully. 

“Maybe that’s not good enough.” You mumble and he shakes his head in denial. "Good enough? If good enough is what he gave you then no, I never will be because it is sick. It's sick and selfish and obsessive." 

"Maybe but it's all I know." You confess sadly, "It's all I want." 

"If selfish is what you want then I can be that." He proclaims, “I won't let you leave. I gave you the chance to go and you chose to stay.”

“I didn’t know what I was choosing.” You tell him honestly. You really didn’t. You’re such a stupid, stupid girl. 

“You’re my wife now. If you leave and go to him… you’d be committing adultery.” He informs you somberly, and in that moment he is the fearful lord Taehyun again. 

You let out a laugh. “So what? You’ll imprison me? Kill me?” 

But he doesn’t find it funny. Neither do you. "I don't want to but I won't let you make a fool out of me."

"I thought you didn't care what people thought." 

"I'm still a man and you're my wife. What kind of impotent leader would I be if I let another man take my woman and bed her as he likes?" 

Your cheeks flame at that, and he notices, his one black eye seeing right through you. 

“You’d let him, wouldn’t you? Even though you’re my wife.” He denounces, pain and disgust apparent in his voice. "Did he even take you against your will at all?" 

"You know he did." You grit, tensing at the accusation. 

"Then maybe you liked it." He accuses coldly and you gasp. 

Maybe you haven’t been completely transparent with him about the nature of your relationship with Beomgyu prior to his wedding night, but for him to imply that you liked what happened to you just breaks you. You never thought Taehyun of all people would accuse you of that. He’s the only one who stood by you regarding this all this time. He never once doubted you about this before. So to have the only person who believed you now express his doubt is crushing. 

But Taehyun is seeing black at the moment, and he’s not backing down. You’ve finally done it. You’ve broken him and he will take you down with him. 

He advances on you and you walk backwards, scared of the dark look he regards you with. "Why else would you be running back to him? I'm offering you power and dignity and yet you'd rather turn me away and run to his bed. Maybe you do like being his slut."

Your hand goes up to slap him and he raises his own hand to stop you, but because of his lack of coordination, he miscalculates and you’re able to strike him across the face. Enraged, he grabs you and slams you against the wall, snuffing the breath out of your lungs. 

You look at him with fear in your eyes. You’ve accidentally hit him where it hurts. Still, you try to remain steady. "Taehyun, I know you're hurt but you can’t say these things to me."

"Don't patronize me. It was my fucking mistake for giving you too much leeway that you now think you can do this, but I won't keep making exceptions for you." He says darkly, eyes alight with fury. "You either choose to be my wife or be prosecuted for being his slut."

You shake in his hands. You don’t want to go on with the plan anymore. You can't stand seeing the hate in his eyes. You can't bear to see him treat you like a slut too. 

“I c–can’t stay, Taehyun. I have to… I can’t–” You blubber weakly, pathetically, and it takes Taehyun a moment to register your words. 

“Fuck, are you doing this to stop the war? I told you I can take him down. Just fucking tell me the truth. Do you want to leave because you want him or because you want to protect everyone?” He interrogates you, wild eyes searching for the truth. 

You try to respond but your tears blur your vision and you don’t know if you should confess the truth and risk him not letting you go or remain silent and have him think the worst of you. 

"Fuck, angel. Stop playing with me.” He curses, shaking you weakly. “Tell me which is the truth? Are you only saying this now because you’re scared of me… or were you lying this whole time, damn it! Tell… me what is–”

The break in his voice is subtle at first, just a note of hesitation, but then the words turn unsure and slow, as if he is struggling to bring them to mind, to mouth them, and then he stops completely, abruptly, leaning heavily on you as his body weakens, and giving you a confused look. But there is also a glistening of fear in his eyes. He doesn’t understand what’s happening, and it scares him. 

“What’s happening to me?” He groggily seeks the answer from you and you try to get yourself together for him. You have to be strong now. 

“It’s okay, Taehyun.” You murmur to him, trying to support his weight. “Let’s get you to bed.”

But that just scares him more, and he fights you. “Why are you–” Realization hits him in the middle of his sentence and he grabs onto you harder, eyes fighting to not let the sleep overtake them. 

"What have you done?"  

"It’s okay, Taehyun." You repeat, trying to calm him down but the guilt is ripping you apart. “Everything is going to be okay.” 

"You can't do this!" He tries to shout, feeling angry and betrayed, but his voice is quiet and slurred now. You can feel him fighting to stay awake in the way he’s clutching onto you. 

"Just relax." You whisper, trying not to cry again, but Taehyun refuses to give in. He opens his mouth to call for the guards, but he only manages to call out once before you clamp a hand over his mouth. Normally, he would’ve easily fought you off but with how quickly the sleeping potion is kicking in, you manage to keep your hand covering his mouth. 

"I'm sorry." You whisper, wincing at the way his eyes are glaring at you. “I’ve made my choice. I love you, but please don’t come after me.”

He tries to shake his head but his movements are groggy and his eyes are fluttering shut. 

“I’m sorry.” You say one last time before his eyes completely close and his body loses tone, slumping to the floor and taking you down with him. 

Once he’s out, you let your sobs explode as you look at the way his face is still twisted despite the sedative you’ve given him. His brows are a little furrowed and there is a small grimace on his face as if he’s dreaming up something unpleasant. You wonder if he’s still fighting you in his dreams. 

So in an effort to make him more comfortable, you try to pull him up to the bed. It takes a great deal of effort on your part but you eventually manage to get him on top of it, pulling the covers over him and resting his head comfortably on the pillow. 

Yet his body still jerks and his lips move as if he’s arguing with someone in his sleep. 

“I’m sorry, darling.” You sob, not knowing what to do, yet feeling like you should be doing something to make this a little easier on him. “Just let me go.” 

You run your thumb over the furrowed skin between his eyebrows, smoothening it, and your touch seems to calm him a bit. So you pull up the covers and scoot under them, molding your body to his and laying there with him to soothe him, and to savor your last moments together. 

To the outside world, this might look like any other night, with you pressed up against the warm, solid body of your husband, his arms encompassing you as his breathing flows in and out, comforting. But it’s not any other night. It’s the last night. You won’t be allowed to see him again, to touch him, to love him. You don’t know what Beomgyu has in store for you, but you’re sure you’ll never be allowed to lay eyes on Taehyun again. With that harrowing thought in mind, you press yourself even closer to him, nuzzling your face into his chest and crying your grief out. 

“I love you.” You sob straight against his heart, your lips feeling the beat of it through his chest. You wonder if he could’ve learned to love you had he been allowed to or if he never would have. If you would’ve been doomed to love a man who kept trying but could never give you what you really want–the both of you living an incomplete life, struggling to fit a mold of what the other needs and never achieving it. 

This is a mercy, for the both of you. 

_______________________________________

When Kai comes around later as planned, he finds you still wrapped around Taehyun’s unconscious form.

You catch a glimpse of pity in his eyes when he sees how miserable you are, but it quickly disappears when you inform him that you may have botched the plan. 

“Can you just tell him that I didn’t mean it?” You try to appeal to the infuriated Kai. “That I just don’t want anyone to get hurt?” 

“No one to get hurt?” Kai repeats haughtily, “Yeah, no one besides my brother and the army of men he will lead to their death to try and get you back. We fucking agreed on the plan for a reason. He has to think that you left him because you chose Beomgyu. He has to hate you so he won't come after you.” 

“I know but it might not work. He got very angry and threatened to punish me for adultery. I think he will come after me anyway. He’s not backing down. He really wants to kill Beomgyu.” You stare at Kai unblinkingly so you wouldn’t see the betrayal on Taehyun’s face that was now imprinted on the back of your eyelids.  

"He was just shocked. Once you get back to Beomgyu, the other lords will push for him to let you go and he will have to listen to them. He can’t fucking fight Beomgyu all on his own.” 

“But–” You try again. 

“You just can’t stop being selfish, can you?” Kai spits angrily. “You can’t handle him knowing the truth, that the only reason you’re going back is so you can save your lover. All this time, you were hesitant to go back even though thousands of people’s lives were on the line. It’s only when Taehyun told you that he plans to kill Beomgyu that you suddenly changed your mind. Taehyun deserves to know this. He deserves to be protected from you.”  

You flinch at the accusation, and you try not to think about it for long. You’re afraid it might be true. 

"I never meant to hurt him." You cry despondently. 

"But you did, and he lets you. That’s why I have to be the one to step in and protect him again."

"Again?" You ask, confused. When has Kai ever protected Taehyun? It was always the other way around.

Kai can clearly see the question in your eyes and he huffs out a laugh. "Everyone thinks that only Taehyun has been protecting me all this time, but I have secretly been doing the same… our father didn't just drop dead. Someone had to nudge him along." 

“You… killed him?” You ask, incredulous, and he nods proudly. “But how? If he was killed, then how come no one suspected it?” 

"They did, but poison isn't always detectable if you don't know what you're looking for." He explains with a conspiratorial tone. "My father may have been feared but he wasn't well liked. He was cruel to everyone, not just us, and so no one cared much to investigate his death. Good riddance, they must’ve thought, and they brushed it aside and focused on the new lord, trying to get on Taehyun's good side. At least for a while. I suppose that's where the rumors about Taehyun killing father came from. They just got the wrong son." 

"Does Taehyun know?" You breathe out in shock. 

"I don't know.” Kai shrugs, “Maybe on some level. But for all his morals, he can be blind when he wants to be. He doesn’t want to see the signs that I'm the one who poisoned father, just like he refuses to see that you weren't exactly the unwilling participant in Beomgyu’s deal like you want us to believe." 

You flinch at his words that parroted his older brother’s. Was Kai whispering in Taehyun’s ears? Is that why he said what he said to you earlier? Did Kai find out about you and Beomgyu’s agreement and then told Taehyun about it? 

“Beomgyu isolated me from everyone outside the palace. He stopped other men from approaching me. I never would have–” You try to defend yourself but Kai wasn’t interested in hearing it. 

“But none of that meant that you had to give your body to him.” He says and your mouth slams shut in shame. “You can do what you want with your body. It doesn’t matter to me, but do you think it wouldn’t matter to Taehyun? To know that you sold your body to Beomgyu so he would give you those dresses and jewels you like so much?” 

You look away, tears stinging your eyes. He’s right. You didn’t have to do it, but you were so lonely and Beomgyu was the man you loved. You wanted to be with him and you didn’t think anyone else would want you after all these years. And yeah, maybe it was nice having pretty things to own when you were so miserable. But you don’t say that to Kai. It wouldn’t make a difference anyway. 

He lets out a sigh, and you think you can hear an undertone of regret in it. “Look, I don’t dislike you, believe it or not. In fact, I used to like you a lot. I never faked that, and we would’ve been amazing friends if none of this happened, but I have to protect my family and you’re not exactly guiltless in all of this. So I need you to leave here and never come back.” 

Your shoulders slump heavily as the final door closes in your face. You have to accept your fate now. "Understood." 

_________________________

Kai helps maneuver you around the castle without Taehyun’s guards noticing, with the help of his own men. You covertly reach a nondescript wagon in one of the stables that would smuggle you and Wonyoung outside of the castle walls, abandoning Wonyoung’s own royal carriage in favor of discreteness, and so that it would be so much harder for Taehyun to track you down once he awakens. 

As you approach the wagon, you see a dressed down Wonyoung. She’s wearing peasant clothes that appear to be dirty. Her hair and most of her face is covered by a coif but you can see that she’s not wearing any makeup or jewelry. This is the most unkempt you’ve ever seen her but you can still see that she’s stunning when you get up close. Luckily though, from far away, she looks like a normal peasant girl. 

“Did you burn the letters?” She asks you as soon as you’re within hearing range, referring to the letters Beomgyu had sent you before your marriage. The letters could be incriminating if they fall into the wrong hands and so she advised you to burn them so they wouldn’t pose an issue for Beomgyu later on. 

You nod at her, and she smiles in relief, then gestures towards the stable. “Your clothes are inside. There is a servant there too who will help disguise you. I’ll be waiting out here for you.” 

You nod again, not trusting yourself to speak, and walk towards the stables, leaving Wonyoung and Kai behind. 

Inside is the servant girl, just like Wonyoung said she would be, and she helps you take off your robe and nightgown. You’re suddenly acutely away of Taehyun’s dried cum still on your thighs. You know she probably can’t see it but it’s an uncomfortable reminder of your betrayal to him.

So when she pulls out the dress you’re supposed to wear, you quickly grab it from her and slip it on, hiding your shame. She pauses for a moment, confused at your strange action, but she quickly snaps out of it and ties up the bodice of the shabby dress. When she’s done, she puts your hair up in a messy updo and puts your shoes on before sending you on your way.   

Walking back to Wonyoung, you see her and Kai engaged in a deep discussion, and as you approach she glances at you, prompting Kai to turn around too before he looks back to Wonyoung and, to your surprise, puts his hands on her shoulders. 

“Be safe.” You can hear him say, and Wonyoung grabs his hands and squeezes them, giving him a small smile before she takes them off of her shoulders. “You too.” 

They both pause for a second, a strange silence between them, before Wonyoung steps away and points you to the wagon. “Let’s go.” 

She gets on it and you follow suit. Kai’s gaze lingers on her for a few seconds longer before he gives the signal for the rider to start moving, and just like that you’re on your way back to Beomgyu, no battle, no blood, no warships, just a simple wagon under the cover of the night. 

You don’t dare speak a word or make a sound until you’ve made it outside the castle. Only then, only when you see the castle you fought so hard to run to, to earn the right to live alongside its lord–the lord who is currently knocked out following a betrayal by his wife and brother–growing smaller and smaller by the minute, do you finally speak up. 

“What was that back there?” You ask Wonyoung, and she feigns innocence. "What was what?" 

You roll your eyes. "You and Kai." 

You can see her blush even behind her coif. "Nothing." 

"You know this can't lead to any–"

"It's nothing.” She repeats firmly. “He and I just found common ground in our desire to prevent our dumb older brothers from going to war with each other."

It didn’t look like just that. You want to say but you keep your mouth shut. It's not your place to comment about someone else's doomed romance. You're currently living the cataclysmic downfall of yours. 

It’s going to be a long, rough road back to the capital, and you’re not about to alienate your only companion.

_________________

It's been a year since you last saw him and you missed him dreadfully. You’ve never been separated from him before, let alone for this long, and as he stands a few feet in front of you, your breathing gets ragged at just the sight of him.  

He looks lifeless–his body buffer strangely, but a grim look haunts his face. There are dark circles murking his usually pure beauty and the lines of his frown seem to have been carved there by time itself. He even chopped off his long locks that you’ve always loved and that made him look so princely. 

In contrast to how gloomy he looked, his clothes were intricately made, a bright white and baby blue. The stark difference is unsettling but he still looks like an angel, albeit a corrupted one. 

You, on the other hand, must look horrible, the long journey evident on you, making your already shabby attire look more haggard and filthy. It’s not what you imagined or hoped you’d look like when you met again. It absolutely shames you to stand looking like this in front of the ethereal prince. You wish he would’ve waited a bit, let you wash off and dress in something presentable before he came to see you– the irrational fear of him being disgusted by how you look and turning away from you makes your stomach churn. 

But you momentarily forget it when your eyes meet his for a second, your heart collapsing in on itself by the weight of all the emotions you've been repressing. Seeing him in front of you brings everything back and you can’t believe you even made it this long without him. He's like a drug you've been off for so long but now that you've gotten a whiff of it, you're shaking with the craving to overdose on him.

But you can’t. You need to hold back. He did a very bad thing and you can’t let him think that he's getting away with it. 

He'll come to you. He’s done all of this for you. In a second, he’ll be running towards you to take you into his arms and unite your souls once more. Finally, you’ll feel complete again. 

But he stays in place, not making a single move towards you, not even looking you in the eyes once. In fact, it’s Wonyoung who runs up to him to embrace him. He embraces her back–giving her a hug that should’ve been for you. 

They exchange words of greeting and queries about the other’s well being, voices bathed in relief at being reunited again–a moment that should’ve been yours. Why are you not in his arms yet? Why isn’t he fawning over you? You’ve been apart from him for a year! He’s sent you letters of despair and heartbreak. You had worried he’d hurt himself over missing you. And yet there he stands, engrossed in talking to his sister as if it’s any other day of the year. Were you the only one missing him? Was getting you back all just a power play on his part? Or did you really look so disgusting that he couldn’t bear to look at you? 

Suddenly, you want to run into the bathroom and not come out until you resemble your previous self again, and the longer you have to stand here looking like this, the closer you come to crying. 

But finally, he says something that takes you out of your stormy thoughts. "Wonnie, leave us."

And here he is. He's walking towards you and you can’t help the cloying look in your eyes despite your insecurity at how you currently look. You pretend to not be itching to melt into his embrace. You pretend like you feel any sort of shame at this moment. 

But he doesn’t embrace you. No, he grabs you and starts silently undoing the laces on your bodice, making your heart sink. Is he going to forcefully take you again? He won’t even attempt to sweet talk you before he does this? 

You stand there frozen with dread, but there is nothing you can do but let him take what he wants. You can’t afford to upset him now that you’re in his clutches. He has already won and there is nothing left to do but try to get him to not hurt Taehyun. You’re not going to fight him off anymore, no matter how his actions hack at your heart and force bile up your throat. 

As he pushes the dress off your shoulders, his fingers graze your skin. It's the most contact you've had with him so far and just that is enough to make you shiver. You hope he wouldn't notice but it's hard to miss the goosebumps erupting on your skin. 

When the dress falls to the floor, it makes a clanging sound that gives Beomgyu pause. With dismay, you realize you had forgotten the dagger in your pocket, and you start silently freaking out as you watch him bend down to pick up the dress and search it for the source of the sound. 

When he finds the dagger, he holds it up, analyzing it. "What the fuck is this?" 

You know he’s really asking why you have this. You don’t want to tell him that it’s a gift from Taehyun but you’re sure he can already tell by the engravings on it. So you just try to deflect. 

"It's mine." You try to take it from him but he quickly pulls it behind him. 

“Why do you have this?” He asks directly, and you chew on your lip. "It's a gift." 

"From him." He asserts. It's a statement, not a question. "Were you planning to stab me with it?" 

"No!" You gasp, horrified that he’d actually think you could hurt him. "How could you even think that? This is just for my own protection." 

"From what? You think I can’t protect you?" He asks indignantly. What comes out of your mouth next is a reflex, borne out of defensiveness, but it’s probably the worst thing you could’ve said at this moment.

"You didn't before." You mutter, referring to the beach incident, and his face immediately hardens. 

“Well, not anymore. No one will ever put a hand on you again.” He vows solemnly as he puts the dagger on his belt. You don’t know if that is a promise or a threat, but it doesn’t matter. You’re not planning to leave again anyway. There is no point. He has won. 

You just want your dagger back. It’s the only piece of Taehyun you’re ever going to have. More than that, it represents a part of you that was only allowed to exist for a brief period of time–a you that could maybe be more than just Beomgyu’s whore, and even that he wants to take from you. 

"Please, Beomgyu.” You plead, exposed in a way that was more than just your nakedness. “I'll be good. Just let me keep it." 

He shakes his head harshly. "You could hurt yourself with it. You could hurt someone." 

"I'm not a child.” You can’t help but bristle at the condescending comment. It’s just like Beomgyu to treat you like you’re incompetent. “I know how to use it." 

“I said no. You have no right to demand things from me anymore. You lost that right when you left me.” The sharpness of his voice reminds you of your precarious situation. You’re in no position to oppose him, and so you do the only thing you can at this point, shut down. 

You draw into yourself, and he seems to hesitate at that. You’re not looking at him but you know him–you can feel the uncertainty radiating off him. It’s the same uncertainty he treated you with after he took your virginity from you. 

“I’ll give you another one. I’ll make you one from pure gold and stud it with diamonds if you want.” He bargains. You know he hates taking things from you. He thrives on providing you with everything you could ever ask for, and taking something from you, something that you value, unsettles him. That’s why he always follows it up with an alternative. He tries to drown you in replacements, but just like your virginity, this isn’t something he can just replace. 

You put your arms around yourself. With the dagger in his possession, you feel completely helpless. 

You sense that he wants to say more but instead he just presses his lips together tightly and grabs your arms, removing them from your body. 

Is he still going to do this? Even after he took the dagger from you? 

Did he even take you against your will at all? 

You did this to yourself. You deserve this. You’re nothing but a whore.  

"What happened? What’s wrong?" Beomgyu calls out to you, and you realize you’re trembling.  

“Just do it.” You can’t look at him. You just shake your head and sniffle. “Just take me.” 

"No. No, fuck.” His voice comes alive with shock, followed by regret. “I just want to make sure you’re not hurt."

You look up at him in confusion. "Why would I be hurt?" 

He scoffs. "You spent a year away from me, with a monster like him." 

“Taehyun would never hurt me.” You answer readily, despite his recent threats, not realizing what you’d said until Beomgyu’s eyes flash up to yours with a dangerous glint. 

“Do not speak his name in my presence.” He warns, “No, do not even think his name to yourself.” 

“Okay.” You give in right away, trying to placate him. “Just don’t hurt him.” 

But that angers him even more. 

"Do you love him?" He accuses, finally maintaining eye contact with you for the first time since you came back, and this time you’re the one who looks away. But he doesn’t let you escape. He grabs your face roughly and turns it towards him. "Do you love him?"

You keep quiet, a strong sense of deja vu hitting you at this moment, but unlike Taehyun’s attempt to contain his reaction, Beomgyu is as forthcoming as ever, the hurt and anger clear as day on his face.

When you stay silent, he asks again, “Then how can you expect me to not hurt him?”

"You have me now. I'm yours. You can do whatever you want to me.” You implore, hands moving up his body as you attempt to convince him that there is no reason for him to hurt Taehyun anymore. “I won't reject you anymore. Just don’t hurt him."

You try to kiss him, hoping to take the edge off, knowing that he must be aching for it and would therefore get distracted from his current fury, but to your shock, he grabs your upper arms and keeps you at bay. 

“No.” He shoots you down. 

Silently, he goes about inspecting your body closely, scrutinizing every part of you, looking for the smallest sign of injury. It takes him some time, and he doesn’t leave any part of you unexamined, but eventually he steps back and lets out a sigh, satisfied that you’re unharmed. 

You try to wrap your arms around him then, your body aching to get close to him. He hasn’t made one attempt to hold you or embrace or kiss you ever since you got here, and that just makes you feel more anxious by the minute. There is something wrong. This isn’t the Beomgyu you remember. You know he’s angry at you, but no matter how angry he got before, he was never able to keep away from you so you don’t understand what is happening right now. Isn’t this what he wanted? To have you be his? You’re throwing yourself at him so why won’t he take you?  Does he not crave you anymore? Does he not love you?

Impossible. You would have felt it, right? He can’t just rip himself free from you without you noticing, right? You would have felt it in your soul. 

Yet here he is again, pushing you off him, the icy rejection stabbing you right in the heart.

“Let's take you to bathe." He announces coolly.

You don't know what's worse, the idea of him forcing himself on you again or him not wanting you anymore. You know they shouldn't be comparable. A normal person would look at you in disgust for even asking that question but you can’t help yourself. You've been starved for the love and affection that only he can give you for too long, the year you spent with Taehyun only serving to highlight to you how inextricable you are from Beomgyu. You’re addicted to him, addicted to him needing you. 

Before, you could afford acting all haughty, pulling back and punishing him for how much he hurt you, when he was all over you, beside himself with guilt and fear and the need to prove himself to you, but now that he's acting like he doesn't care anymore, your heart is gripped with icy panic. You want to throw yourself at him, shout and cry and ask him to explain what the hell is going on, demand that he snaps out of it, demand that he take you in his arms and kiss you and apologize until this horrible, unthinkable fear goes away–the fear that he no longer loves you.

You need to calm down. You can’t start catastrophizing things already. Maybe he just wants to wash Taehyun off of you, to bathe you and dress you up until he feels like you’re his princess again. Fine, you’ll let him do it. Then you’ll kiss him and he’ll melt and you’ll get him to stop hurting Taehyun. 

But another shock soon greets you when he doesn't try to bathe you himself like he did before. Instead, he sits on a stool in the bathroom and watches as the maids wash you off–scrubbing your skin harshly as if to get rid of the entire layer of your skin that houses the smells and stains of Taehyun and his castle. Only once your whole body is red and sore, do they pat you dry and lather your tender skin in perfumed oils, taking you back to the adjoining bedroom to dress you and do your hair and make up.

All the while Beomgyu watches you. You feel your skin blister under his gaze that focuses on the invisible marks from Taehyun on your skin. But he doesn’t say anything. 

Once you’re all made up and looking pretty again, looking like you more or less never left, you stand up to face him, anticipating him finally rushing to embrace you, to give you the affection you’ve been deprived of for so long. 

But he keeps away, the distance between you threatening to rip your universe apart. What is happening? Why is he doing this? 

____________________________

Like a ghostly presence of a dead lover, you accompany Beomgyu on his activities throughout the rest of the day upon his order. He acts vaguely aware of you but rarely addresses directly or looks your way, and as the day progresses, you feel less and less concrete, like you might just cease to exist from the world as your lover forgets you. 

You're not right back where you started. You're less than a whore to him now. 

Your first stop is the dining hall where you find the queen mother, Wonyoung and her ladies in waiting, and some of the lords from the royal council. 

“My condolences, my queen.” You bow deeply as you address Beomgyu’s mother, and she gives you a gracious smile. “Thank you, my dear. Things have been rather difficult on the children and I lately, what with the terrible tragedy and the subsequent whirlwind of grief and change we’ve been thrust into suddenly, so it’s nice to have a familiar face and an old friend of the family back. I hope you being here makes things a bit easier on Gyu and Wonnie.” 

She speaks to you like you’re actually welcomed and missed, like you matter to the well-being of the royal family. It’s such a strange thing. She’s never been unkind to you, but the way she’s treating you–it’s as if you were her son’s wife. 

Speaking of which, notably absent from the dining table is Ryujin, Beomgyu’s actual wife, but you know better than to ask about her in front of the servants and the other nobles in attendance. So you just quietly take your seat beside Wonyoung when prompted, and enjoy the food–the rich and sublime flavor of it hitting your taste buds with the euphoria of a man who had sworn off sweets getting his first bite of a cake in a long time. 

You eat until you’re full, and then you eat some more. You should probably feel ashamed about it–it’s not refined to eat so much and you can tell from the amused looks of Wonyoung, and the judgemental looks of the other ladies in waiting that other people have noticed it too. But you can’t find it in you to care when the food tastes so divine, and you’re gone without it for so long. 

After finishing breakfast, you join Beomgyu and his family in court where he now resides as the king. You stand on the sidelines while he, Wonyoung and their mother take their seats at the head of the room. But you’re not standing alone; you’re surrounded by the other ladies and flanked by guards that follow your every move now, presumably to prevent you from leaving the palace again either voluntarily or involuntarily. 

Unlike Taehyun, Beomgyu doesn’t deal much with the serious criminal cases such as murder, deferring them instead to the appropriate judges–a fact that spares him the backlash from the common people for dispensing the sentences himself, and puts him in the good graces of the lawmen for stepping aside and not infringing on their jobs. He mainly handles disputes and petitions that have reached a stalemate and his approach to them is very political. Instead of signaling out someone to be right or wrong, he tries to use his resources to figure out a solution that would leave both sides happy. Of course, he has to serve the occasional punishment or two, but he tries to sow the peace as much as possible, especially that these cases don’t usually involve an actual crime. 

It’s good political sense and needless to say, he is a lot more popular with the people and the nobles than Taehyun is.

He is also very charming in his mannerisms and speech, making the common people swoon over him who then, in turn, would return to their houses and their communities and sing praises of the kind king Beomgyu who helped them so. 

He seems to be doing better than you thought he would. Looking up at him on the throne, flanked by his mother and sister–you can’t help but feel both pride and inadequacy.  They look perfect, complete. He doesn’t need you anymore. 

You want to cry. You ruined it. You forced the only man who loved you to get over you. You want to leave. You want him to plunge the sword that lay at his hip into your heart and end you, for that is more merciful than what he’s doing. He’s slowly killing you right now. He moved on and left you behind. The only reason he has you here is so he can take revenge on you and Taehyun, punish you for abandoning him and punish Taehyun for taking what belonged to him. 

But maybe If you had paid a little more attention to him, if you weren’t so caught up in your own catastrophizing, you would’ve noticed how his smiles weren’t genuine–they weren’t your smiles–how distracted he was, how his eyes that were slightly swollen and red kept flickering towards you throughout the whole session.

________________________ 

When the last case is wrapped up, you and Wonyoung follow Beomgyu to the ranges to watch him train. 

He practices archery first. He was always good at it, but he seems to have gotten even better in your absence. And the way he throws a glance at you every time before he lines up his arrow before launching it seems meaningful to you. You have no doubt that he’s imagining it’s Taehyun he’s shooting at instead of the straw doll in the distance. The determination and rage you see in his eyes make you shiver every time. 

But as the archery practice draws to a close, you’re taken off guard when he walks towards you and hands you his bow. 

You look at him in confusion, not reaching out to take it from him, and so he explains irritably, “I heard you’ve become quite the archer, my lady.” 

My lady? He might’ve as well have stood you downrange and shot his arrows at you. Since when did he call you that? What happened to your name? What happened to baby? What happened to princess? You hated hearing him call you that because it always felt satirical, even if he didn't mean it that way, but right now you'd give anything to hear him call you the affectionate pet name again. 

But you’re stubborn and petty, and you cover up your pain with a frown. “I don’t use a longbow. It’s too big and hard for me to yield as a woman, a fact someone like you should’ve known.” You sneer, “Taehyun trained me to use a crossbow.”

The insinuation and the mention of Taehyun’s name make his face twist in resentment and he quickly turns around and barks at one of the nearby staff to bring out a crossbow. The person jumps into action right away and scurries to get the king what he wants, probably freaked out by the unwarranted aggression in his voice. 

When the man comes back with the crossbow, Beomgyu tears it out of his hands and thrusts it towards you. “Show me what he taught you.” 

You take the crossbow and walk to your spot with your head held high. You won’t let him intimidate you. You’re confident in the skills that Taehyun has taught you and that you worked so hard on. You’ll show him for all the time he made you feel inept. 

Cocking your weapon, you take aim, concentrating on your target before launching the arrow that hits it straight on. You launch several more arrows after, all hitting the target, to the surprise of the royal siblings. 

“How wonderful!” Wonyoung gasps and claps excitedly for you. “Did you see that, Beomgyu? She’s so good, isn’t she?”

He gives her a noncommittal grunt but she continues on, seemingly unaware of his annoyance. “I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you two take turns shooting and we’ll see who is better. I bet she can beat you.” 

Nevermind. By the smirk on her face, it seems like she’s perfectly aware of her brother’s distaste and she’s consciously teasing him. 

“There is no time for that. I need to head to my sparring lessons.” Beomgyu replies gruffly, turning around without another word and walking off. 

You scoff at his small tantrum. Is he really so stubborn that he can’t even be happy for you for accomplishing something he didn’t think you could? You’ve always been interested in archery and he has always discouraged you from it, saying that it’s not suitable for a lady. But now you’ve learned it and are actually good at it and he won’t acknowledge it, why? Because you proved him wrong? Or because Taehyun was the one who taught you? 

“He’ll come around.” Wonyoung rolls her eyes, sensing your discontent. 

You want to appear nonchalant–like you don’t care, just like him, but you do. His callous treatment of you is unprecedented and it’s not something you can bear. “Why is he acting this way, Wonnie? Isn’t he happy that I’m back?” 

Doesn’t he love me anymore? 

“Oh, sweetling. He’s just—” 

“Wonyoung!” You hear Beomgyu shouting and you look in his direction to see him impatiently waving the both of you to follow him already. 

She sighs and gets up. “Come on, let’s not make him wait.”

____________________________

Beomgyu has never taken to sparring. He didn’t like the bruising and wounds that come with it, which is part of the reason his father always deemed him to be too soft. So seeing him now, throwing himself into it and viciously attacking his opponent, you almost don’t recognize him. Is this really the same Beomgyu who would pout at you when he got a cut and whine until you patched him up and kissed it better?

His opponent is just as fierce, and he gives Beomgyu back as much as he takes, which leads to many painful hits being landed on your prince. 

No, he’s not the prince anymore. And he’s not yours. 

Your sweaty fists clench at your dress as you watch the grueling fight, trying to stop yourself from launching out of your seat and rushing to protect Beomgyu every time he gets hit, and by the time the training session is over, you’re left feeling quite faint. 

Luckily, lunch is next on the schedule, and you regain a bit of your strength from the food. But you can’t taste the deliciousness of it much nor can you eat as much of it as before because your stomach still feels queasy from watching Beomgyu get pummeled as an exercise. 

After lunch, you separate from Beomgyu for the first time today–other than him leaving you to take a bath earlier while you and Wonyoung sipped on some tea in the garden before the meal–as Beomgyu heads to his private council meeting that you’re not allowed to attend, and so you have to accompany Wonyoung on her own schedule. 

You both want and detest this. You can’t wait to get away from Beomgyu because it hurts your soul to watch its other half sever itself off in the brutal way he’s doing, but you also don’t want to be away from him, the growing chasm between you compelling you to fall at his feet and beg him to make you whole again and displace the anguish that now resides in the empty space in your chest. 

But it’s not up to you anyway, and Beomgyu entrusts your care and watch to his sister, who takes you to her medical training. Apparently, following her father’s death and Beomgyu taking on the leadership, not only were some peasants allowed to train to become physicians, but some noble women were allowed to as well. 

As you walk to class, she chats to you about how she had decided to study medicine after her brother got attacked and she came to observe his treatment. She goes on to describe her training to you but you don’t listen after that. You just imagine Beomgyu in bed injured, with you none the wiser. Even if his wounds were due to his own schemes, you should’ve been there by his side. Instead, you were off, married to another man, leaving Beomgyu behind until he learned to heal from you. 

You were so distracted with your thoughts that you didn’t really watch where you’re going and you end up bumping into an unfamiliar man who is wearing the apprentice physician attire, just like Wonyoung. 

“I’m sorry, my lord. I was a bit distracted, forgive me.” You bow apologetically, but the man waves his hand in front of you, floundering, and bows himself. "Oh, I'm no lord, my lady. Please, don’t.” 

You stand up straight and give him a confused look, eyeing his clothes again, which he notices, and goes on to explain, “King Beomgyu has so graciously allowed common folk such as I am to be trained in the science of healing."

You don’t know why you didn’t connect the dots earlier, but it’s probably because of how surreal all of this is. Taehyun had already told you about the changes Beomgyu has made, but to actually come across it in real life is shocking. 

“It’s unheard of, I know, but that’s just our kind king.” The man says effortlessly, like he believes every word of it and you look at Wonyoung in amazement. She smiles at you and nods, taking you with her as she gathers her materials, and talks to you quietly, “Beomgyu has changed a lot of things around here. He is really ushering on a new age for our beloved kingdom.” She leans in to whisper the last part to you, “And a lot of it is for you.” 

“Me?” 

“Beomgyu wants to make it so people aren’t restricted by what they’re born into. He is introducing a new education system that accepts women and individuals of lower birth and teaches them the skills that would allow them to rise up in the ranks and take on elite posts.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard about that but why is he doing this?” What does he actually stand to gain from it?  

“He hopes that in the future there would be no rigid restrictions between men and women, first borns and second borns, nobles and lower classes, so that everyone could receive the same opportunities to prove themselves and potentially work their way up to the top. It’s a grand dream and it's on a very small scale right now. You can’t expect to introduce a radical hierarchy shift all at once or there will be chaos, and his vision probably won’t be fully realized during our lifetime.” She explains with a smile, but you still don’t get it. 

“That’s a wonderful dream, but what does that have to do with me?” 

“If people aren’t forced to abide by the constraints of the roles they are born into, they could be free to do whatever they want, pursue what they want, and be with whoever they want…”

Oh. 

Beomgyu doesn’t want others to suffer the same fate you and him have suffered. That’s… generous of him.  He always manages to amaze you with his kindness. You had seen his charitable nature in action back when he took you out into the city streets before but you thought that was the extent of it. You never imagined that he’d take it this far if given the opportunity. He really is wonderful… and terrible and mad. How could all these qualities exist in the same man? Are only the incredibly kind capable of being incredibly cruel? 

For the rest of the session, you silently observe Wonyoung and the other apprentices as they go through their class, being taught by a wild-haired looking man that seems to be the new chief of medicine. 

It takes you a bit of time to figure out why you recognize him, but eventually you do. He was a very prominent physician back in the day, very well respected and revered as something of a prodigy in the field. But he got onto the bad side of the king and some of the court officials. It was rumored that he was caught slipping some of the palace’s medicine reserves out. The official report stated that he was stealing them to sell them to the common folk later, but Wonyoung had confessed to you in confidence that she thinks he was only taking them to heal those too poor to afford the medication themselves and that’s why he was really stripped of his title and cast out. 

It looks like Beomgyu has restored him and even made him the new chief of medicine. That brings a smile to your face. The man–though he may seem a little off with his intense, piercing gaze and his frequently unkempt clothes, is obviously very passionate about helping people still. 

Wonyoung seems to be happy too. She listens to him attentively, as do the others, just how a student should listen to their mentor–with reverence and respect. 

From what you’re gathering, Beomgyu seems to be collaborating with this chief in order to educate a much larger batch of physicians–most of them nobles but some from quite humble backgrounds– and station them all throughout the city, and in the future the rest of the kingdom, to provide much needed medical care for those who never benefited from it before. 

You can hardly believe that such a thing is actually happening, and it makes you all the more hopeful that Beomgyu doesn’t receive any backlash from this. He is trying to help those who need it the most and he doesn’t deserve to be punished for it.  

Yes, you know Beomgyu’s dealings haven’t been blood free and he most likely doesn’t follow Taehyun’s strict definitions of right and wrong, but which lord or king can claim a clean slate? Even Taehyun’s hands aren’t free of blood. His morals are so black and white that it alienates a lot of people and frequently ends in pain and tragedy. Beomgyu may resort to shady political dealings but he seems to be accomplishing actual change.  If in the end Beomgyu’s ways benefit the kingdom as a whole while Taehyun’s sow resentment and discord, then which of them is really in the right? 

You don’t know but the people around you seem to be happy, and the city seems to be thriving. You can’t help but feel proud of Beomgyu. Now, if only you could’ve been a part of it…

_________________

When all the apprentices are dismissed, only you and Wonyoung stay behind as she’s busy gathering some supplies for a special project she’s working on. She unlocks a medicine cabinet guarded by a heavy lock, and browses its contents. 

“You seem to be much happier now princess.” You comment as you watch her handle some vials, inspecting them before putting them back inside. 

“Of course, I am. I’m free to do whatever I want and to pursue what I am actually interested in instead of just being a valuable piece of property that can be shipped off to the highest bidder.” She expresses freely, her tone in the last part sounding bitter, and you don’t miss her implication. 

“But they were your family–” 

“And I mourn them.” She cuts you off, not turning to face you. “But we have to move forward and make the best of our situation. And we are.” 

“Your mother is too?” You can’t help but ask despite her standoffish response. You just can’t imagine how her mother would be okay with all that has happened.  

She lets out a short laugh. “What about my mother? You think her marriage was any more successful that Beomgyu’s?” She asks sharply and you wince, looking down as you feel called out. “After she fulfilled her purpose of completing her own political marriage and giving my father his heirs, her role was over. The best she could’ve hoped for was to stand on the sidelines and not make any trouble for my father. But now under Beomgyu’s reign, she has more say than ever. He actually listens to her and considers her opinion as a queen in her own right.”

“And Yeonjun?” 

She sighs, slipping the vial she’s holding into her pocket before closing the cabinet and locking it up again. “He was no different than my father. He was practically raised by him anyway. Do you remember seeing him much as a kid?” She asks you and you shake your head. No. In fact, you rarely saw him, and when you did, he was always by his father’s side. “That’s because father forbade him from spending too much time with us or mother. He said it would be a bad influence on him to listen to our womanly wiles. And he practically considered Beomgyu a woman too since he was raised by mother.” 

“I see.” 

“This is for the best, for everyone. For us, for you, for the kingdom.” 

“And where do I fit into all of this?” You ask her, hoping you still have a place here even though Beomgyu’s actions seem to indicate otherwise. 

“Sweetling, you’re the trigger behind it all.” She walks towards you and holds your arms gently, “This may not have happened if not for you. Use it. Claim your own power. Isn’t that what you ran to that wretched murderer for?” 

Use what? What power? Beomgyu won’t even look at you. 

But once again, before you can talk further, Beomgyu’s voice cuts in. 

“Wonnie.” You hear him from behind you and Wonyoung lets you go and turns to him. So do you. “Gyu! How was the meeting?” 

“Boring as usual." He answers nonchalantly, but this time you can see the anxious glances he’s throwing at you. Could he be distressed because you were separated for a few hours? Is he experiencing the same pain you’re experiencing?

Then why doesn't he talk to you? Why doesn't he embrace you? This isn’t Taehyun, it's Beomgyu. He’s not one to hide his feelings from you so his behavior could only mean that there are no feelings to hide.

 "How was your lesson?” 

“Amazing!” She gushes, “We learned how to tell the gender of the baby a woman is carrying through her urine! Well, kind of…” 

You don’t listen to the rest of what she says. After all, you were present for the actual lesson. You just take the chance to stare at Beomgyu, seeing him smile and make little comments here and there as his sister excitedly recounts her lesson to him. 

You’re so focused on him that you notice it first… the little drop of blood falling from his nose. You immediately jump into action, rushing towards him and cupping his face. "You're bleeding!" You fuss over him. "I thought those stopped." 

Beomgyu used to get nose bleeds a lot when you first knew him as a kid but they gradually got better until they virtually stopped in his teens. So this resurgence was particularly concerning for you. Is this the first time this happened or has this been a regular occurrence while you weren’t here?

You try to figure out where the bleeding is coming from but for what must be the tenth time today, Beomgyu casts you away from him. He grabs your wrist and pushes you at a distance from his face. "It's fine. Wonyoung knows what to do." 

You stand there appalled, stricken, ruined as Wonyoung grabs a medicine soaked piece of cotton and plugs his nostril, staunching the bleeding. 

This should've been you. It's your spot beside him. You’re the one who should be taking care of him, but he replaced you just like that.  

"He's been getting them a lot since…" Wonyoung trails off. 

Since you left. Is that why he won’t let you help him? You always used to help him. He always ran to you when he got them. 

You have no role in his life anymore. He doesn't look to you like he used to. He has erased your influence from his life. You’re stupid to think that a prince–now the king, would have any remaining use for you. 

So you try to leave–you’re not needed anymore–turning around and walking towards the door to escape, when you're grabbed by arm and flung back around to face the man who used to be your other half. 

"Where are you going?" 

"I want to go back to my room." You don't know how you're not crying yet. 

"No. You still have to attend dinner." 

"I don't want to eat." You say simply, soullessly. You don’t have the desire to exist anymore. And just to stomp on your heart more, Beomgyu replies, "I don't care. You’re a lady and you have obligations. You're not going to get away with doing whatever the hell you want anymore."

__________________________

You have no appetite, the sick feeling you’ve had ever since he first rejected you has been gradually filling up your stomach until you can taste the bitterness of it in the back of your throat, and you know if you take even one bite, you’re going to throw up. 

Wonyoung notices that you haven’t touched your food and she tries to get you to eat something, but Beomgyu shuts her down harshly. 

“She’ll eat when she’s hungry.”

His response prompts a few whispers between the other ladies. This must be a shock to them too. Beomgyu used to be crazy about you. He used to do everything for you, so for him to be so aloof like this… is startling.

They seem to be happy about it though. Most of them never liked you as they thought of you as beneath them and that the only reason they had to tolerate you was because of Beomgyu. But now that even he treats you like this, they don’t have to pretend to like you anymore. 

You can see them whispering amongst themselves, not saying anything out loud, but you can tell they’re gossiping about you. You can also see Wonyoung’s concerned and pointed looks aimed at her brother, but he doesn’t seem to care. He doesn’t care about you anymore. 

‘You’ve ruined everything.’ You think to yourself as you stare at the knife in front of you. ‘You should end your pathetic existence. No one wants you. Beomgyu doesn’t love you anymore. Taehyun thinks you’re a slut. Kai thinks you’d be the cause of his brother’s death. You should just kill yourself and spare everyone the trouble of your existence.’

You wonder if you can slip the knife that sits in front of you without anyone noticing. You stare at it through the duration of dinner, just waiting for an opportunity to grab it without anyone noticing, but you don’t manage to do so. It’s the first thing that is taken from the table when the servants start to clear it up, and you wonder if the others had guessed your intentions.    

____________________________

After dinner, Wonyoung asks if you'd like to go for an evening stroll in the gardens with her. She’s clearly concerned by your abject look, but you tell her that you're too tired and you just want to go to sleep. Maybe back at your room, you’ll figure something out to end your suffering. 

She reluctantly accepts your obvious excuse and Beomgyu escorts you back to your room. You think he's just making sure you're not slipping off anywhere else, but when you reach your room, he enters with you and locks it behind him.

You watch in surprise as he walks to the wardrobe and picks out some nightwear and starts changing into it. 

Is he going to sleep here? 

Actually, from the neat pile of clothes that you glimpsed in the closet, it seems like he's been sleeping here for a while. 

You can't help but watch him as he undresses. He looks like he’s bulked up considerably, no longer the delicate boy he once used to be, especially not with the short hair and the bruises speckling his skin. It’s a physical testament to how much he has changed, how he’s no longer your Beomgyu. Still, he's as beautiful as ever and you long to go up to him and run your hands over his tanned skin, kissing every bruise and cut until they fade away and he returns to being yours. But you can’t. You’re not allowed to. 

"You look different." You tell him, not knowing what you expect him to say in response. To reassure you that he hasn’t changed? To tell you that even though he might look different, his heart still belongs to you? 

"So do you." He replies noncommittally, brushing you off. "Get dressed for bed." 

But you’re feeling stubborn and hurt. "I don’t want to sleep next to you."

"You're delusional if you think I'll let you sleep out of my sight after what you've done.” Beomgyu barks at you, seeming done with your shit already. “Now get changed." 

“No.” You refuse insolently. If he’s going to ignore you and then proceed to also not leave you alone then you’re going to make life as difficult for him as possible. 

‘Maybe that will get you some attention.’ A voice in your mind supplies and you do your best to ignore it. 

Beomgyu grunts in annoyance and goes to grab you a sleeping gown from the closet and pushes it towards you. "Get dressed." 

But you refuse to take it. "You want me to change? You do it." It's both a challenge and a wish. You want his hands on you again, even if just in passing. 

And Beomgyu doesn’t hesitate. 

He undresses you, once again faced with your nude body and you latch onto the little hints of need in his eyes and the way his hands shake as if he's finding it hard to hold back. When he gets to your stockings–your body completely nude otherwise–he has to get on his knees to take them off one by one. Once they’re off, he pauses, his hands holding the backs of your thighs tentatively. You feel his fingers twitch against your skin but he refuses to look up at you. You hold your breath, waiting for him to make a move, to kiss your body, caress your skin…

But he eventually gets up again, leaving you unkissed, uncaressed… 

He quickly dresses you. But unfortunately for him, the gown he puts on you turns out to be see-through, and he could still clearly see your nude body that seems to be even more alluringly highlighted by the soft candlelight. 

He gulps and looks away. "There. Let's go to bed." 

But you just stand there with your arms crossed, your barely covered breasts getting emphasized by the movement. You’ve gotten him to react–even if it’s only with your body–and you won’t let this opportunity pass. You can pull him in again. 

"Such a spoiled brat." He curses and you gasp at the familiar name. It shouldn’t arouse something in you but it does. You just miss any sign of your Beomgyu.  

He grabs you and carries you in his arms like a groom carries his bride. You yelp at the sudden action, and wrap your arms around his neck, the two of you exchanging a heated glance at the sudden closeness. 

But then he puts you down on the bed and goes to the other side to slip next to you but keeping his distance from you, not taking you in his arms like you yearned for and leaving you lonely and unembraced. You have to wrap your own arms around your chest to keep the contents of it from  spilling all over, and you just lay there and stare at him.

Why is he doing this? You’re all alone. No one can see you. He can stop pretending now if that's what he's doing. Because if he's not pretending then why the fuck is he sleeping in the same bed as you? Why wouldn't he just post guards in and out of your room to make sure you won't escape and go sleep in his own room?

It doesn’t make sense for him to be here unless he wants to be with you so why is he still keeping a distance? Is he mocking you? Playing with you? Does he realize just how close you are to breaking apart and he wants to be there to see it? 

Well, you’ll give it to him. He earned it. 

As soon as you start crying, he immediately opens his eyes and dares to ask the condescending question, "Why are you crying?" 

"Why are you acting this way?” You whimper pitifully, “I’m back after a year of being apart from you and you’re acting like you don’t even care. You're supposed to be all over me."

You know sound incredibly bratty and entitled. You can tell by the anger on his face, but you don’t care. He forced you to come back. He begged and threatened until you did, and for what? So he could ignore you? 

"I used to be all over you but you didn't like it. You’re the one who pushed me away.” He grits out resentfully, “So now you need to feel what you made me feel."

What you made him feel? Is he doing this just to spite you? To get back at you? And if so, how long is he planning to keep this up? Because you already can't take it anymore. Maybe that makes you a hypocrite but having Beomgyu be within arm's reach after spending so much time apart and yet not having him make up for it by latching onto you and stubbornly refusing to let you go again is too dreadful for you to bear. You feel like your body might just crumble and disintegrate if he doesn’t hold you at this very moment. 

As if hearing your thoughts, or maybe feelings exactly how you feel, he scurries quickly to you and takes you in his arms, rocking you back and forth to try to get you to stop crying. 

"Fuck, you know I can't handle seeing you cry." He laments, leaning down to press apologetic kisses all over your face as you whimper and sniffle. “You’re such a spoiled brat.”

You whine. "Don't you love me anymore?" 

"Don't do that–" He groans weakly, "I'm supposed to be angry. I am angry. You’re being punished–"

You cut him off with a kiss, and for the first time since you got here, he lets you, immediately losing all the fight in him. As your lips and tongues meet, desperately seeking reassurance from the other, you sense your feelings mirrored in him and you wonder how you did not see it before? Of course he’s just as pitiful as you. Of course he missed you as much. Of course it killed him to hold back.  

“You’re so spoiled. I hate that I could never say no to you.” He whines helplessly against your lips, and you pull back to look into his pretty puppy eyes.

"Do you still love me?" You ask like your entire life depends on it. 

"Of course I love you. I will always love you, even when I'm old and gray, even when they put my body in the ground, even when I stand in front of the gods and have to answer for the crimes I committed for love." He confesses confidently. "I was supposed to keep my distance. I was supposed to teach you a lesson. But I couldn’t even last a day. That's how much I love you."

His words reassure you immensely. It’s everything you’ve been hoping to hear. But suddenly he starts crying too and you panic. 

“What is it, baby?” 

Through big, heavy tears, he moans, “I couldn’t hold off a day and you left me for a year. How could you do that to me? You must not love me as much as I love you.” 

“No, baby, no!” You coo softly, despicable euphoria bubbling in your chest at the sight of him crying in need for you again. He still needs you. He still loves you. You can exist again. “I love you so much. I thought about you every day but I forced myself to be strong, to stay away. But seeing you today and thinking you were over me, god I wanted to kill myself.”

"No. You can’t. You can’t leave me. If you die, I die." He tells you frantically, lips wobbling as he tries to hold in his tears, his big watery eyes looking up at you for reassurance, for you to deny that you would ever leave him again.

"I won't, baby. I'm here to stay." And you are. For better or for worse, you are his and he is yours. 

You kiss him repeatedly, whispering 'I love you' again and again until you’re sure the words are now tattooed on both your lips. 

Unlike Taehyun, Beomgyu doesn’t hold back in showing his need for you. You can tell how much he wants you by his moans and pants against your lips, they way his hands touch all over your body feverishly. And you want him to. You want to give yourself to him completely. You’re tired of fighting against it. You just want him to take you and take care of you. 

But a nagging voice in your head won’t let you enjoy this–

You have to be sick in the head to go back to him after what he’s done. 

Taehyun’s voice rings in your ear. 

You liked it didn’t you?

No, you didn’t like it. It killed you. You never thought Beomgyu would be capable of hurting you like that. But you love him. May the gods have mercy on your soul, but you love him. It's always been him. 

But you’re also scared of him. Would he do it again? He told you last time that he only did it because he was angry and scared of losing you. Would he do it now because he’s angry and needy after you left him? If you tell him no, would he stop or would he force you? 

Your body goes stiff at the thought, and once again he registers the change in you and pulls back, noticing the fear in your eyes and immediately realizing what's wrong. 

"Don't worry, I'm not going to… force you." He reassures you, wincing. “I won’t hurt you ever again. I promise. I will prove it to you, princess.”

He goes to pull back then, but you grab onto him. He won’t hurt you. He won’t hurt you. 

"Do it. I want you."

You want to replace your horrible memories with good ones. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes. Make me forget what you did to me." 

He stares at you with his big, pretty eyes, seeking out any hint of hesitation in you, but there is none. You want to forget. You want him to consume you. 

With a curse on his lips, he hurriedly takes off your flimsy gown, hardly believing that he's really getting you. But once you're naked in front of him, he pauses to stare at your body, the way he couldn’t earlier. 

You stay quiet, observing the lust and awe in his eyes before he slowly reaches out and runs his fingers along your breasts, only circling them. The circles get smaller and smaller each time, slowly but surely driving you insane, and by the time his fingers finally brush over your nipples, you jerk at the touch. 

“Beomgyu, I need more. What are you doing?” You question him impatiently, but he shushes you with a kiss. “Just want to savor this moment, princess. I’ve been waiting for so long.” 

You know what he means. Despite all the sexual encounters you’ve had together, this is one of a kind. He never had the opportunity to take you in like this, to have you offer yourself to him so completely.  

Capitalizing on the sensitivity he has created, Beomgyu cups your breasts and flicks his index fingers ever so lightly back and forth across your nipples, making you jerk up again and rub your thighs together, looking for any kind of stimulation more than the maddening one Beomgyu is giving you. But when he sees that, he grabs your thighs and pulls them apart, revealing the wetness gathered between them already. 

“Fuck, princess… are you that sensitive?” He asks as if you can’t see his own need straining against his pants. 

“I missed you, Beomgyu.” You explain yourself, whining needily. “Please do something, puppy.” 

“I will, but keep your legs open, princess.” He orders, bending down to wrap his lips around one of your nipples, the heat and wetness of his mouth immediately lighting your body on fire. He sucks on it before pulling back and letting it pop out of his mouth. He hums appreciatively before leaning in and repeating the same motion a few times while his hand goes up to the other breast and he starts flicking his finger over the nipple again. 

When you mewl and arch into his touch, you inadvertently push your leg between his thighs and press it against his hard member. And as he moans out, the vibrations heightening your pleasure even more, you get an idea. You start moving your thigh, rubbing it against his cock. 

For a few moments he lets you, his moans coming out even more as he licks and sucks at your breast needily, bringing you so much pleasure that you honestly think you could cum like this. 

But then he abruptly stops, pulling away from your chest and pushing your leg down against the bed again. 

“No, princess. No touching me.” He pants, his pupils dilated and his face flushed with such need that you honestly don’t understand why he would ask that of you. 

“Why?” 

“Remember when I would beg to touch you and you’d always refuse?” He asks, reminding you how when you had your deal going on, you were the only one allowed to touch him while he had to keep his hands to himself. 

“You can’t be serious.” You huff indignantly. What, so he’s not going to let you touch him at all?

“Oh, I am, princess. I told you I want to make you feel exactly how you made me feel. I already gave in too quickly on one thing, but I won’t back down on this.” 

You scoff, “So you’re just not going to let me touch you at all? Is that a punishment for me or for you?” 

“We’ll find out.” 

“Fine. Let’s see how long you keep this up, puppy.” You challenge insolently, not appreciating the idea of Beomgyu holding back from you, and hoping he’d fail in this too just as quickly.  

But your attitude doesn’t last long when he goes back to playing with your tits. Once again, you try to rub your legs together, but his body is in the way, so you have to resort to begging him for more. 

“Beomgyu, please.” 

“What is it, princess?” He asks, but he obviously knows what you want because he lets one hand go between your legs to caress your inner thighs, but doesn’t touch where you really need him. 

“Need to cum.” 

“Hmm, you do?” He acts oblivious again, running his middle finger between your wet, puffy lips. "Whose are you?" 

"Yours." You reply right away. "I'm yours, Beomgyu. Please."

You hope he’s convinced. You hope he’ll give you what you want. You hope he’ll spare Taehyun. Fuck, if Taehyun saw you like this–

“Good princess.” Beomgyu purrs, cutting off your train of thought as he does down your body to your pussy. 

"Fuck, this pussy.” He groans, his fingers moving up and down your slit. “I've spent many nights fantasizing about it, princess. You don’t even know. Had nothing but my hands and thoughts of this pussy.”

You know that Beomgyu used to touch himself while thinking of you. He confessed it to you at the very start of your deal but the thought of it still makes your body buzz in excitement. To think that you had the prince completely infatuated with you that he would lie in his bed, his only company being his own lewd thoughts about you, as he touched himself just makes you feel so powerful. He is so crazy for you, your darling king, and his next words confirm it. 

“So many would’ve died for this pussy." He murmurs, spreading your lips apart and pushing his face in to lick several long stripes along your pussy. He would do insane things for you. It’s sick how much that turns you on, but you can be sick around him. He won’t judge you.

He won’t hurt you again. He won’t hurt you. He promised. 

He flicks your clit with his tongue in short practiced motions that make you whimper. He looks up at you, grinning and goes back to the slow drags of his tongue over your slit, messing with you. 

“Beomgyu.” You whine, arching your back and pushing your pussy closer to his mouth. 

“Need it, princess?” He teases, wrapping his lips around your clit and giving it a teasing suck. 

“Ah-hh–yes–” You squirm under him, begging him to stop torturing you. 

But Beomgyu is enjoying it too much. He keeps eye contact with you as he alternates between rapid and slow strokes of his tongue. Every time you start building some sort of high, he slows down again until your whimpers of need are filling the room. 

Begging him obviously won’t work so you have to resort to teasing him back. 

“Make me cum, please, baby.” You purr breathlessly, one hand grabbing your breast while the other goes to your mouth where you place one of the fingers seductively. “Your princess wants to cum on your pretty face.” 

“Such a dirty princess.” He mutters but you know you got to him. You know he’s been dreaming about this for years, and it’s so easy to play into his fantasy. 

His actions turn focused and serious. He dives in again, swiping his tongue over your twitching hole a couple of times before burying it inside. It’s a new feeling, the sensation of his hot tongue pushing in and out of your pussy. It can’t go far in but the entrance of your pussy is sensitive and each time his tongue drags across it as he pushes it in, makes you clench around it. 

And when he starts flicking your clit with his thumb, you wrap your legs around his head, pushing your hips up against his face as your orgasm floods your veins. 

Beomgyu doesn’t complain one bit. Instead, he pulls his tongue out of you and licks up the slick dripping from your quivering pussy, sending little spikes of pleasure that peak through your already intense orgasm. 

You keep repeating his name, first loud and keening and gradually tapering off along with your orgasm until you slump back on the bed and his name becomes merely a breath on your lips. 

Only then does Beomgyu pull back slightly from your pussy, one of his hands still holding your lips apart as if he doesn’t want to let go yet, and asks you, “Did that feel good, princess?” 

You snort at the ridiculous question. “Are you fucking kidding me, Beomgyu? I was spasming on the bed and screaming your name. I’m sure even the guards outside can answer that question for you.” 

You’re sure even Taehyun can answer that question from how loud you were moaning…

As if hearing your thoughts, Beomgyu asks, “Was I better than him?” 

There is a clear sour note in his voice but you can also detect the insecurity behind it. Beomgyu never had to compete with another man for your attention and this new development obviously perturbs him. It’s even worse because you were far away from his watchful eyes and he doesn’t know what he’s competing against. Even though he had his own spies in Taehyun’s castle, it’s not like they were in the bedroom with you.  

“He didn’t… we didn’t do that.” 

"He didn’t eat you out?” Beomgyu scoffs in derision. “So my intel about him not satisfying you in bed was true then.”��

You flush. Beomgyu had intel about your bedroom activities? How? Was your desperation that obvious that even his spies caught on? 

“It’s not that. I’m sure he would have done it if I had asked.” You try to defend Taehyun and save face. You’re sure Taehyun just didn’t feel comfortable asking something like that of you. He’s a very reserved man and it wasn’t like him to ask anything sexual of you. Most of the time you had to be the one initiating things…

Beomgyu scoffs again. “What, he needs a request from his wife to please her?” He sneers, spitting the word ‘wife’ out venomously. “If he wasn’t going to appreciate what he had, he should’ve brought you back to the person who actually would.”  

You open your mouth to protest but you forget what you were going to say when Beomgyu puts his mouth back on you. He licks your slit from your entrance to your clit–where he wraps his lips around the little bud and sucks. Then going back and repeating that motions a few times until the tension leaves your body again and gets replaced by the building pleasure. 

Beomgyu seems even more determined now, as if wanting to prove to you that he’s so much better than your husband.

Your husband… how heartbroken he’d be if he could see you now, spread out for Beomgyu to do with as he pleases. 

But Beomgyu doesn’t give you space to let your thoughts wander to anyone but him. He pulls back to hover over your pussy and lets a trail of his spit drop down to wet your already soaked pussy. He swirls it with his fingers, teasing you, before gathering it and uses it to push two fingers a knuckle deep into you. 

“Oh, Beomgyu.” You gasp, hand flashing out to grab his hair and pushing it back to your pussy. He happily obliges, letting you guide his mouth back to your clit, his fingers moving to work that one knuckle maddeningly in and out of your pussy, the combined stimulation along with the sight of Beomgyu–your king–with his face buried in your pussy already getting you close to the edge again. 

"Fuck, how have you gotten so good at this?" You lament, your free hand clutching at the bedsheets.

"I had practice." He pulls back for a second to inform you and your stomach sinks. He tries to go back to eating you out but you quickly use the hand you have tangled in his hair to pull him away from your pussy. You also attempt to push him back with your feet but he manages to grab them and pin them down to the bed before climbing up your body. 

When he’s face to face with you, you snarl at him. “So you were fucking Ryujin all this time I was gone?” 

You press your hands to his chest, trying to push him away but he doesn’t budge. When the hell did he get so strong?

“Not all the time, but your scent was fading from your clothes and your bed didn’t smell like you anymore either. I needed to find relief elsewhere and she was willing.” 

You grit your teeth and try to look away but he grabs your face and makes you look at him. “Are you jealous, princess? How can you be jealous when you've done the same with him? I know you were begging him to fuck you."

Once again, you burn up in embarrassment. 

"You know I would have never done that to you, princess. If you were my wife, I would make sure that you’re fucked and happy every day." 

You shiver. You want that. You need it. You don’t want a man who you have to humiliate yourself by begging him to fuck you. You want a man who yearns for you, lusts after you…

I'm offering you power and dignity and yet you'd rather turn me away and run to his bed. Maybe you do like being his slut.

Maybe you liked it.

No. No. It’s not that. You just want to be wanted. Taehyun never wanted you. Not like you wanted him to. Maybe if he did, things would’ve been different. 

You only have Beomgyu, and he promised not to hurt you anymore. 

"But you left me." Beomgyu’s voice cuts through your internal battle. "You hurt me so bad, princess, but I knew I would get you back eventually. And I knew that I needed to make sure that when that happened, I would be able to keep you satisfied this time, emotionally, materially, physically…” His eyes fall to your chest, and one of his hands goes to your breast, brushing his fingers over the hardened nipple and making you let out a shaky breath. “So you’d never think of leaving me again. You see, I would fall at your feet at just the beck of a finger, but you've always made me work for it." 

An uncomfortable feeling akin to guilt sprouts in you at his words. Were you the Taehyun in this relationship? 

"But it's okay. I know how precious my princess is and I will pay the full price." He bends down then, kissing you. You kiss him back, losing yourself in his mouth and almost forgetting why you were mad in the first place. But when he moans against your lips, you remember. 

“Fuck me.” You demand, and you know he can tell why. He’s yours. He did so much shit just to get you. He belongs to you. You want to erase the memory of her from his mind, the feel of her walls from his cock. Mine. Mine. Mine. 

“Shit, do you know how long I waited to hear that from you?” He groans needily. And yet somehow he has the audacity to refuse. “But I can’t. If I give you what you want like always, you’ll never learn.” 

“Learn what?” You grit. “Didn’t you say if I was yours, you’d make sure that I was fucked and happy everyday?” 

He shakes his head. “I said if you were my wife, but you're not. Because you left and married someone else.” 

“You were married before me!” 

“And I would’ve figured something out but you couldn’t wait. You know I was looking into ways to dissolve my marriage to Ryujin?” He asks, stunning you. “But you got married before I could. You used me and threw me away when I was no longer useful to you.”

“That’s not true. I left because you hurt me! I got married because you were threatening me.” You deny vehemently. 

“You were going to leave even before I hurt you. I told you that I loved you. I offered to give up my position in order to be with you but you refused because then I would’ve been useless to you. I wouldn’t have been able to provide you with the level of wealth and power you wanted.” 

“No. That's not the reason. It’s not!” Your denial is weaker this time. With no actual reason given, you make up for it with your whines, hoping he’d drop it. “I had to, puppy. I love you.” 

“It’s not? Then what is? Why did you turn me down?” He challenges you, not taking the bait, and you sputter for a few seconds, racking your brain for a reason that wouldn’t make you seem so utterly selfish but finding none. If he had stepped down, he would’ve been able to marry you like you wanted, but you couldn’t let him do it. You couldn’t give up the comfort and luxury you were used to because of him. 

“Ok, so what?” You huff indignantly. “I like living a comfortable life. Who doesn’t?” 

“And did he give you a comfortable life?” 

You pout. “Now you’re just being petty.” 

He snorts. “And you’re being a child. You ran to him thinking he’s going to give you the power and status that you want but when he didn’t, you came back and now you expect me to just fall at your feet and give you everything you want, isn’t that right, princess?”

“I came back because you threatened war.” You argue with him. 

“Oh, so you’d be okay with me not treating you like a princess anymore? You’d be okay with me putting you in a modest house and not providing you with any servants or nice things? You’d be okay if I pulled away from you and focused on my wife?” 

You grimace severely. You hate being caught on your hypocrisy and if you could cross your arms and stomp your feet, that’s what you would be doing right now. “You can’t do that. You promised you’d give me everything I asked for if I came back.” 

“Fuck, baby, you’re so spoiled.” Beomgyu lets out a laugh in disbelief at your entitlement. “But yes I did, and I will, but you have to be punished first. You don’t get to betray me and abandon me and then come back and take what you want from me. You don’t get to make me pine after you all my life and have you use that to take what you want from me then throw me to the side for another man. I won’t go easy on you this time. I’ve coddled you too long and now you think you’re entitled to me. I have pride too, you know? I’m not just your lovesick puppy. What did I get from giving you what you want? You left me and went to him. You need to realize how much you’ve hurt me, how you’ve always hurt me.”

“So what, is that your grand plan? Not letting me touch you? Not fucking me? Need I remind you how much you were begging to fuck me before? You think you can actually pull this off?” You wrap your legs around his waist and pull him towards your body, pressing his hard cock against your pussy and the both of you let out a gasp. "You're mine, Beomgyu. You’re crazy about me. You did such fucked up shit to get me back into your bed and now you want to act like you can hold back? I know you're dying to bury your cock in my pussy, puppy. So just do it." You grind up against him, and kiss his neck, smiling when you feel him buck his hips against you. 

“You always treated me like I was disgusting for wanting your body but now you want me to take you because you're jealous and possessive? Isn't that what you hated me for?" He grunts, yet his hips roll against yours as if independent from his control. "You don't get to demand it, baby. You're going to have to beg for it."

God, you’re sick of his bullshit already. If what he wants is for you to beg so he’d give you what you want then so be it. You know you only need to have him inside you and then he’d be drunk on your pussy in no time and become putty in your hand again. 

"Please, baby. I need you.” You moan lewdly, “Don't you want to fuck your princess until I forget all about him?" 

"You always play dirty, you fucking brat." He curses, driving his hips against you harder. "But you’re not getting what you want. I can’t fuck you yet even if I want to." 

"And why not?" 

"Because I need to wait to make sure you’re not carrying his baby so when I do fuck you… if you get pregnant, everyone will know it's mine." At that, Beomgyu’s hips falter for a second. He clearly likes the idea of you carrying his child. 

You do too. Just the thought of it drives you wild–to carry his child, to have a family with the man you’ve always loved… but you know you can never have that. And you tell him as much. 

"You know, I can’t have a baby with you, Beomgyu. You’re married to Ryujin and I’m married to Taehyun.” You speak his name intentionally, wanting to rile Beomgyu up just like he did to you. Two can play at this game. “It’s one thing to have rumors about you fucking a married woman. It’s another thing entirely to confirm it by knocking me up.” 

Once again, his hips drive into yours just a bit erratically. “Maybe, but wouldn’t it be so wonderful?” 

“Beomgyu…” 

“Just imagine it, baby. Your belly all swollen up with our child… your tits getting bigger and bigger with milk…” He grabs your breasts at that, making you moan and arch into his touch. “You’d look so pretty, and everyone will know who you really belong to, who my real lover is.” 

You bite your lips, feeling his cock slide against your clit through his now wet pants, sticky with your arousal and molding to his length. “Why haven’t you had a child with her yet?” 

“Don’t want to.” He grunts, annoyed at you for bringing her up. 

"You need an heir."

“So give me an heir.” He tells you as if it’s that simple, and you can tell that he’s not thinking clearly by the hazy look in his eyes. You have to be the voice of reason, even if it’s so hard to do that right now. "Beomgyu, no…"

But he makes it so hard, "I can take care of any child you'd bear for me. You were afraid before that they'd live in secrecy, not recognized by their own father, but I can legitimize them now if I want."

"Legitimize them?" You gasp, pulling him against you harder.

"Yeah, my wife hasn't borne me any children. As a king, no one would begrudge me getting an heir from someone else." He purrs, rubbing his thumb over your nipples, noticing how you seem to whine louder at the idea. "You wanna give me an heir, princess?" 

You know he can’t actually do that. He maybe could if you weren’t married to Taehyun. Even if Beomgyu is married himself, it’s not uncommon for a noble, especially a king, to have mistresses and even bear children from them. But to have a child with a mistress who is already married to another lord–that’s something that even a king might not be able to get away with. 

Still, you’re needy and in love, and the thought of bearing an heir for Beomgyu makes your brain swirl with lust. You can pretend for a moment. What harm would it do?

“Yes. You’re mine.” 

“Fuck, that’s right. I’m yours, princess.” He sucks in a sharp breath. "You're so good to me. God, you would look so pretty carrying my babies. I want to cum in your sweet cunt until you’re all filled up with me." 

“You’re insane.” You breathe, but despite your words, you feel yourself creeping ever closer to the edge, and you need him to fall with you. "Why don't you show me how you'd fuck me full?"

He pulls his hips back and snaps them against yours, fucking you through his clothes, the drag of his hard dick against your pussy so maddening. If he could just pull his pants down and slip his cock inside you…

"Yeah, that's it. That's a good boy." You praise him and he chuckles, but his movements grow sloppy. "And you're a bad girl. Making me hump you like a dog again."

"You can fuck me if you want." You tell him breathlessly and he bites his lip in need. "You know I can't." 

"You can fuck my ass." You offer, just needing him inside you at this point. He liked that before, didn’t he? 

But Beomgyu holds fast, groaning in frustration at having to hold back. “Stop it, princess. S–stop trying to get out of your punishment.” 

You notice how he’s struggling to speak now. “Are you close, puppy?” 

“Yeah–yeah… so close. Princess, I'm burning up. You have me ready to cum in my pants again after everything.” He whines, disappointed at his own weakness. “I’m the fucking king and you still have me wrapped around your fingers. It’s so unfair how much I need you. Do you like playing with me?” 

"Yeah, like seeing you go crazy." You wrap your legs tightly around his waist so he’s forced to just grind against you, his cock hitting your clit every time and getting you so, so close. “You want cum for me, baby? Does your cock hurt? Are you balls all full for me? Wanna breed your princess?” 

“Y-You’re the devil.” He moans and you laugh. “Then cum for me, my king. Fill me up.” You mewl, alight inside with glee. He can resist and talk big all he wants but he’ll always crumble for you. It makes you feel like a god. You feel in control. It’s not so scary doing this when he’s so willing to be vulnerable and pathetic for you.

“Oh god, fuck—ahh–fuck–I love you. I love you so much.” He cries out, shuddering violently above you, his eyes rolling back for a moment. The warmth of his seed seeping through his clothes is a reminder of what he’s willing to give you and it sends you over the edge too. 

You both clutch onto each other as your orgasms crash through you, moving between your bodies as you moan in ecstasy. It shouldn’t feel this good. He’s not even fucking you, but just the chance to finally be allowed to share pleasure with each other is enough to send you reeling. 

Beomgyu is giggling lightly as he pulls back from you. “Fuck, I really failed in my mission, huh?” 

“Yeah, look how much you came all over my pussy.” You tease, noting the way his cum had seeped out of his pants and onto your pussy. “You might as well have fucked me.” 

“Don’t act like this is all me.” He shoots back with a grin, pulling at the sticky mess over his crotch that is made up of both your fluids, and you blush. “Whatever.” 

He leans down to give you a small kiss, his grin still plastered to his face. “But yes, we both know how weak I am for you, especially you, princess… Don’t get used to it though. You’re still being punished, you know? I just missed you.” 

“I did too.” You sigh, a soft, fuzzy feeling filling you up at the fondness in his eyes. This feels so right. Should it feel this right?

Reluctantly, you add, “Beomgyu… you know I really can’t have a child with you, right?” 

His smile falters a bit at that. “You don’t have to worry about that right now, princess. Trust in me for once, okay?” 

You hesitate, staring at him. In front of you is the most beautiful man you've ever met–his big doe eyes that poets would never tire from writing about framed by his long thick lashes, his perfect nose that screams royalty, his lips that were only made to smile and be kissed.

And that’s speaking nothing of his kindness, his passion, his wit, the way he would move heaven and earth to be with you. He has always looked out for you in his own twisted way. Even though he always held a deep sadness inside of him, he never burdened you with it much, preferring to take care of you, to listen to your own worries. Even now he’s not asking for much, just for you to let him take care of everything.

He may be sick. He may be obsessive, but what man wouldn't be when he's faced with the loss of his one and only? And how could you resist him? If the gods made him to be your downfall then you've already fallen. 

Maybe the gods won't be merciful to him in the afterlife, but as long as he lives on this earth, he will get your mercy. For you and him are two halves of the same soul.. 

“Okay.” 

He smiles brightly in response, giving you another kiss then sits up, getting off you. “Wait here.” 

He goes into the bathroom for a while, before coming out with a piece of wet cloth that he uses to wipe you clean before he gets you another gown to replace the one you were wearing. Then he changes his own clothes, chuckling at how the both of you ruined them.

“Now, I’m going to go tell the servants to get you some food. You must be starving.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to. I can eat in the morning.” You try to deny, but as if in protest, your stomach chooses this moment to grumble in hunger, and you blush. 

He laughs. “I’ll be right back, princess.” 

___________________________

In classic Beomgyu fashion, he brings you an entire feast consisting of all kinds of meat–beef, mutton, pork, chicken and even more exotic meats like ostriches and peacocks were all there–it’s as if he had prepared them for your arrival, just waiting for you to give in, and he probably had. The meat was done in a variety of ways–fried, roasted, boiled…There were also all kinds of fruits, nuts, cheese, wafers and liquor.

It is a banquet befitting a queen, and Beomgyu happily feeds it all to you by hand. 

“You’re acting like I can't feed myself.” You feign annoyance at his unnecessary actions, but you actually love it. Especially how every time he gives you a bite, he steals a peck.

It becomes a game between the two of you, you trying to eat without paying him his due kiss and him trying his best to collect it. You have to admit, you wouldn’t have eaten so much if there wasn’t the promise of a kiss from him on the line. 

He shrugs. “I like taking care of you. You barely ate anything at lunch and nothing at dinner. I was worried about you for hours and I’m just so glad you gave in. I’m not sure I could’ve slept knowing you’d gone to bed hungry.” He pouts, his old playful self shining through. 

"Why? Do you think I can’t take care of myself?" 

"I know you can but I still want to do it for you. It gives me pleasure to know I'm making you comfortable in life, to know you enjoy it a little more with my help, are a little more at peace, have less to worry about… in the past, that was all I was good for. Taking care of you gave me purpose when I had none." He looked at you through his lashes. "But you take care of me too, in your own way. You are so sweet and kind and lovely. You make life worth living just so I can share it with you." 

You stare at him, the breath halted in your lungs. Whatever did you do to deserve him? Deserve his love, deserve his wrath? The gods must really hate you, they must really love you, to have gifted you this wonderful, terrible man. 

Beomgyu gives you a sheepish smile and looks down, taking a piece of meat off a plate. “Try the hare. I hunted it myself.” He pushes the food into your mouth before you can protest, and sits back, looking at you with big, curious eyes, not giving you a kiss this time in favor of gauging your reaction. “Do you like it?” 

You chew it thoroughly, tasting the fine meat and delicious sauce that was the signature of the royal cook. You hum happily and nod, giving him your approval and making him smile. But his smile doesn’t reach its full potential before he asks again, anxiously, “Would you like to go on a hunt with me?”

You give him a confused look. Beomgyu never took you on hunts before. He never liked to involve you in “unlady-like” behavior. You used to think it was because he was being a usual domineering male, but you now know it’s because he just likes to take care of you.

"But I thought you said it wasn’t proper for a lady to go on hunts." 

He shakes his head, smiling sheepishly once again. "I was an idiot. I only said it because I was afraid if you learned to depend on yourself, you would outgrow me."

As if you ever could. "And what changed your mind?"

"Because it didn’t work. Your escape showed me that if I don’t give you what you want, you’ll go look for it someplace else.” He explains tensely, fidgeting with his fingers. “He took you on hunts, didn’t he?”

"So you're just competing with him? Is that why you're suddenly learning to spar too?” You narrow your eyes at him, “Is that why you cut your hair?"

He shrugs. “I just want to make you happy.”

"I was happy with my best friend who was a lanky, long-haired weakling who couldn’t defend himself for shit. You don’t need to be like him to make me happy. But it's sweet that you’re finally not being as much of an idiot." You roll your eyes at him. “I like archery and want to keep practicing it but no. I don’t want to go hunting. I didn’t really like it.” 

He smiles in relief. “Okay.” 

He’s clearly happy with your response. He may have offered this to try to appease you so you wouldn’t go back to Taehyun, but it clearly made him uncomfortable. Maybe it’s wrong of you to enable his behavior, but you realize that you like being taken care of as much as he likes taking care of you.  

Beomgyu tries to feed you more of the hare but you pull your head away. “No more. I am absolutely stuffed. Man, if I ate like this every day, I would be as big as a cow.” 

“I want you to get bigger.” He shrugs and pokes at your shoulder. “You’ve really gotten so thin there. Did he not feed you?”

“He fed me.” You glare at the cheap shot. “But the food there didn’t taste that good, and you know I hate fish.” 

“I know, baby.” He smiles, taking you in his arms and kissing you. “My spoiled baby can’t eat anything less than the absolute best food the kingdom has to offer.” 

You want to protest and tell him it’s not true, that you were perfectly fine eating the castle’s bland, improperly cooked food but you know he’d see right through you. So you just huff and let him kiss you. It’s no use pretending like you don’t crave his coddling anymore. 

Beomgyu calls for the servants to clear out the plates, and when they’re done and you’re alone again, he leads you to bed. 

Once under the covers, you fall into his arms, preparing for a blissful night of sleep in the arms of your love, but as you lay your head on the pillow, you feel something under it. Pulling it out, you see that it’s your fairytale book. 

“What’s this doing here?” You ask, confused. 

“Oh, I used to read it every night when you were gone.” He admits in a small voice, burying his face in your shoulder. “It made me feel closer to you.” 

“Oh, you silly puppy.” You coo, a smile tugging on your lips as you flip through your beloved book. 

Inside, you come across another surprise. Nestled between two of the pages is a dried up sunflower. 

“A sunflower.” You say, your smile growing bigger, and you feel him nod. “Your favorite.” 

“You know why they are my favorite?” You ask, humming contently as you touch it gently so as not to break the fragile thing.

“No, why?” 

“It’s the first flower you ever gave to me.” You close the book and put it aside before turning to face him, recalling fondly, bashfully. “We were teens and I had just learned about how sunflowers follow the path of the sun in the sky. I had thought they were just called that because of their color and shape. So I excitedly went to check out the crop of them in the garden. I watched them all day. They followed the sun and I followed them, sketching them out in my little book. But I couldn’t get the middle part quite right. I needed a closer look so I tried to cut one down, but the damn thing was taller than I was.” You laughed, remembering how you kept jumping up and down trying to grab at one. “So you–”

“Climbed up the pillar nearby and got the biggest one for you.” He finished, and you blush, looking away, “Yeah… it was a ginormous thing. I had to cup it in both my hands in order to hold it, but I pretended in my head that it was a rose the handsome young prince I was in love with was giving me in order to woo me.”

You feel his warm hand gently guiding your face back towards him. “I was.” 

Your heart skips a beat at the revelation. The both of you have been in love with each other for so long and yet neither of you knew about the other’s feelings. “Why didn’t you tell me how you felt before?”

“I was afraid you’d pull away from me.” 

You want to refute his words but you know he’s right. You would’ve probably figured things out sooner if he had confessed to you and your life together would’ve collapsed even sooner. 

“You were the only one who saw me for more than the annoying second in line, and I loved you for it. Even after the others started to come around as I grew up, I couldn’t forget how you were the only one who saw me for a long time. You saved me, princess. I couldn’t lose you.”

You think back on how Beomgyu was like as a kid. He was always adorable to you, but he definitely came across as a menace to others. You were aware of that much, but you didn’t think it bothered him. 

“I thought you liked annoying others.” You say dumbly and he laughs and lowers his head, hiding in your shoulder again. “Believe it or not, I didn’t just play pranks and overall act as a menace just to annoy people, though it was a bit of fun. I wanted them to notice me. No one paid attention to me other than my mother and sister, and my mother only did so because her other son wasn’t giving her the time of day.” He nuzzles into your neck, seeking comfort, and you run your hand up and down his back soothingly.

“I so wanted people to take me seriously like my brother. I wanted my father to love me too. I wanted to make him as proud as my brother did, but no matter how hard I tried, I could never compare. So I resorted to acting out because it would get me attention from him and others, even if it was negative, at least he was looking at me. But then he wouldn’t even do that.” Beomgyu laughs painfully. “He made it a point not to look at his own son, and then so did my brother and then so did everyone else. I was the other prince but no one cared. I even overheard some of my fathers men saying that it’s lucky that Yeonjun was born first because if I had been born first then the kingdom would’ve been doomed.” 

You knew he had always looked at you for reassurance that he didn’t get anywhere else, but you didn’t realize how deep it went. He was so alone. God, it makes you ache just hearing about it. You want to go back to that little insecure boy and hug him until he feels like he matters. 

But you can’t so you do the next best thing. You hug him now, and he holds onto you tightly.  

“So that’s how I lived my life… until you came along.” Finally he pulls back from hiding and looks up at you with a smile. “You didn’t care that I was annoying. You loved me for it. It made you laugh and so I kept doing it more and more. You didn’t think I was such a waste of space. You listened to what I had to say and you looked like you actually cared. It was… nice.” 

So that’s why he latched onto you so hard. 

“It was the same for me. I’m the youngest daughter of an inconsequential lord. No one gave me a second glance before I met you, except old men who would leer at me and ask my father how much they need to pay to have me.” You shudder at the thought of what your fate almost became, and Beomgyu’s hands tighten around you protectively, a frown twisting his handsome features. “Only you noticed me. Only you cared. You saved me, made my father believe I had value, and made me think so too. I know it sounds superficial after everything you just said, but having you–the prince–pay attention to me and want to be in my company after I’ve been put down by other nobles all my life made me feel like I wasn’t inherently less valuable, that I had worth too and that someone could look at me and see past my lacking family background, that I could be loved and cared for like I never was before. And for that someone to be you–so handsome, so generous, so funny, so sweet…” You punctuate every adjective with a kiss over a different part of his face, making him giggle. “How could I have not fallen for you?” 

You were made to save each other, made to make each other feel like you mattered in this big world that treated you so coldly. 

“How long have you loved me?” He asks, and you think about it deeply, but can’t quite place it. “So long. It was so gradual, so natural, that I didn’t notice it until I was in too deep… maybe I’ve always loved you. Maybe our souls knew each other before we came to this earth. What I feel for you is so strong I’m scared it will annihilate me.” 

“I will never let that happen.” He promises solemnly and a strange sadness sprouts in your chest. “What if you’re the cause of it?” 

“You think too much, princess.” He brushes your gloomy ruminations away, running his fingers delicately through your hair.  “I’m just so glad you gave in. It was so horrible not having you in my arms when you were right there. I was going to go crazy.” 

“It was only a day. Don’t be dramatic.” You grin but he doesn’t mirror you like he usually does. 

“A day and a year.” He corrects and you falter. “I can’t believe you left me for that long.” 

“I’m here now, baby.” You reassure him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “And I’ll stay with you forever…just… please leave him be. Don’t attack his city. You have me now. I’ll stay.

"I want to believe you, but you lied to me before. How can I trust that you’ll stay this time?" 

"Do whatever you see fit.” You surrender yourself to him completely, prepared to take anything just to end this war before it starts. “Just don’t hurt him anymore." 

“So you won’t leave me again?” 

“I won’t.”

"Are you willing to prove it?" Beomgyu asks ominously, and you gulp. 

"Yes." 

__________________________________

A/N: this took a long time, didn't it? I'm still not satisfied with it but i hope you guys are. it was definitely tricky to write this chapter so let me know what you guys think especially with how she left taehyun and got back to gyu

the next chapter will probably take a long time too as i just got my job back so savor this as always lol

oh and i don't know how many chapters are left. i have everything planned out but the chapters keep getting too big that i have to cut them in half, therefore increasing the number of remaining chapters. this is just half of the chapter that was supposed to be chapter 9 lmao

[pascaloverx]

DANGEROUS

CHAPTER FOUR (+18)

Summary: You are a retired spy trying to live a normal life. Some time ago, a hired assassin named Tangerine tried to kill you. In response, you sought the help of an old acquaintance who could fake any death, August Walker. However, now your false identity is in jeopardy, along with your life.

Warnings: This chapter will have inappropriate language, explicit content. Readers are warned. The characters August Walker and Tangerine do not belong to me but to their respective creators. Some other characters that belong to both Mission: Impossible (2018) and Bullet Train (2022) may appear in this fanfic. Other characters who are not part of these movies will be of my own creation. I hope you enjoy the reading. Chapter with scenes intended for adults, if you are not an adult, do not read.

chapter three chapter five

August looks uncomfortable. Ever since he agreed to work alongside Tangerine. You know the fact that you had a brief romance with Tangerine doesn't help. As you prepare the bed so that August Walker can sleep, you feel him watching you. Tangerine was too tired to do anything so he just passed out on your bed.

"So after years of partnership, you ditched me for a cheap, less pretty version?" August says while watching you. You tense up, knowing you don't have much to say.You tense up, knowing you don't have much to say.

"I would like to remind you that after our partnership ended, you disappeared from my life. It was as if it didn't matter how many nights we spent together. You can't demand loyalty when you abandon someone." You say arranging the blanket on the bed. August is still standing with his arms crossed in the guest room door.

"I didn't abandon you. We made a deal, Y/N. Feelings were out of the question. And then you put my life ahead of the mission. Damn it, what did you think would happen?" Walker speaks with his authoritative tone, asserting his belief that he's right. But how could putting him above the mission be such a bad thing?

"I should have let you die, Walker. I should have let Ethan kill you on that damn mission, you ungrateful bastard." You say, staring at Walker, growing increasingly irritated. Walker approaches, getting inches away from you. His eyes devouring you as if he's thirsty for something.

"How desperate did you have to be to go from fucking me to fucking Tangerine?" August speaks in a mocking tone. You however laughed blatantly trying to make you feel inferior.

"Honey, you must have a really bruised ego. Tangerine and you are almost the same. And if you're wondering if in every way, yes is the answer." You say looking down, leaving no doubt you are talking about sizes. August seems more excited than angry at this moment, which confuses you a little. You expect a bad reaction, but it doesn't come. On the contrary, he grabs you by the waist and kisses you. At first, his lips touch yours softly. Afterwards it's as if you're missing each other's taste. Slowly exploring each other's mouth.

"You should never have come back into my life, you know that right?" August Walker speaks with his mouth almost glued to yours yet.

"Shut up." You respond, holding the hem of his shirt with both hands and then taking it off his body. He, in turn, lifts you a little off the floor, guiding you to the bed. It was almost as if his body had no weight at all. His hand quickly cupping your ass.

"You're still as hot as I remember." Walker whispers in your ear. You then kiss his neck, as if to say you liked the compliment. In the next second, August Walker is taking off the dress you're wearing and throwing it in some corner of the room. His fingers roam your face, and when his fingers pass your lip, you lick them lightly. Walker's reaction was to hold her face firmly but without hurting her and then devour her mouth with a kiss.

"I want you now." That's all you can say before you completely lose your lucidity as you watch Walker take off the rest of his clothes. You're obviously excited about the fact that you're going touch him again. Your hand passes lightly under Walker's cock, making him moan softly as you kiss his body.

"Lay down." He says dominant as he removes your bra. His fingers press against his breasts, causing a pleasant sensation of pain and pleasure. You let out a grunt when Walker's lips touch yours. He continues pressing the tops of your breasts with his hands while he is on top of you. Already your hands are busy holding his hair tightly. You then remember to grab a condom from the bedside. He watches you and seconds later he already puts the condom that was previously in your hand on his penis. He puts two fingers in your mouth and you suck on them, while looking directly at him. It's been so long since you two have been this close that you feel like you're going to explode. His fingers that were previously in your mouth are now in your pussy, almost causing a pleasant friction. His fingers enter you without delay, and you let out a few noises as you feel the pleasure of having at least a part of him in you. His fingers press into your pussy which is wet enough that he has no problem moving in and out of you.

"You...fuck me. Please." You sputter as you feel your body start to shake a little more. Walker smiles, kissing you next.

"Good girl." He says, taking his fingers out of you and pushing his cock into you. The feeling of having him like this was almost driving you crazy. You increased the pace of his thrusts and into you, as you held his ass to feel him more. His hands held Walker's ass so tightly that you could feel it would leave a mark later. But he didn't seem to care. He just thrust deeper and deeper inside you, as he kissed every detail of you, including your lips and mostly your neck. His kisses got deeper and deeper, as if he really needed you.

"Fuck. I'm going to go crazy with you." Walker says as you become a mixture of sex, moans and sweat. You can only smile, while mumbling disjointed words. You're reconnecting so easily that you don't even notice when you cum. But when he cums right away you smile. A smile of satisfaction.

"I can't lie. You're still one of the few fuckers who know how to fuck well." You speak while Walker is still beneath you. He then kisses you, getting off of you and throwing the condom in the trash. You weakly rest your head on Walker's chest as soon as he returns to bed. And at least at this moment, you allow yourself to sleep with a man who you don't even know if you can fully trust.

[crimsonlyinglilly]

Day 5 Reckless

Again late for day 5 whumpril,

Back to Stolen Three, follows after this "you lied to me" set around The Originals 2x20

Warnings for past self harm.

---

Finn is starting to realise Elijah is in fact an easy younger sibling to deal with, even if he has an amazing ability to test Finn patience with just a sentence and the fact finn knows he does it for his own amusement but as he watched the Mikaelsons snap and snarl at each other with a growing headache, he had been lucky to just have Elijah.

Freya paced behind the couch he had claimed after he had received the invitation from Kol.

He wonders if she’s disappointed in the siblings she had wanted to meet since Dahlia had told them what Mother had done to her new children before their first sleep. Klaus had been openly cold and suspicious of her since she approached them first, Finn is aware the only reason he was accepted easier is because he arrived alongside the resurrected Kol.

It had taken most of the power he had gather during th century sleep, neither him or Elijah were firstborn and so didn’t have the sheer amount of power Dahlia and Freya did but besides Kol being his younger brother who had been used and killed again by their mother, he had both been the one you sired Sage and so allowed Finn to meet the love of his life he was also the one to bring her back once their mother brought him back in a witches body.

Finn doesn’t want to think how he would have felt to wake up and discover her gone, his one escape from Dahlia taken from him while he was asleep. 

Instead he had met her in their normal place and had been filled in on the full story of what was happening with his family.

So with only a little convincing from Sage, he had brought the stranger, another younger brother, back to life.

It wasn’t the first time he had met the man that had given Sage her immortality and in a way he had alway known they were brothers, they had figured out the first vampires were their siblings even without the last name.

But back then he had been focused on making the most of his last days with Sage and had ignored the familiarity that Kol reminded him of, weeks later he had seen Elijah for the first time in nearly a year and been smacked in the face with it. 

At least he found someone in their family he could compare Elijah’s looks to beside their aunt he had thought weakly.

Still using his blood and the other’s soul to bring him back cemented the fact and crushed any small denial that any of this was his problem.

The other was angered at being a vampire again and Finn had to admit feeling a little bad for him, even after a lifetime linked to Dahlia he would miss his magic, but he had accepted they needed more to defend against Dahlia.

Finn would rather die than watch Dahlia do to another, his innocent niece what she had done to Elijah. They were too close for him to pretend it wouldn’t end the same way.

Mother would prefer to kill her grandchild than fight the one who stole her first three children, she used and threw away one child like a tool, would torture her other children to get what she wanted, in a way she was worst than Dahlia. 

The disgust that filled him when he learned mother had tried to kill her other children, for all the monsters she made he had expected better of her, perhaps it was the last of his childhood innocence hidden and protected since he took the witch's hand and followed her from the hut.

He hated how it also proved every argument with Freya over her, pointless, his sister was right over the heartless monster their mother was.

It made finally seeing her again bitter, a vampire in another’s stolen body. He was thankfully Elijah had never had the attachment to be disappointed.

He offered Freya a smile as she paced back behind him, she sent him a weak smile back and stopped pacing to join him sitting, they both ignored the sound of something smashing and turned back to the room their siblings and separated themselves to, since Klaus was refusing to admit killing the werewolf was a mistake.

Finn didn’t need to ask where Klaus got the idea that fear was a good way to keep control; he had seen the start of what their father was becoming after Freya’s loss apparently that had gotten worse, and it was clear Klaus got his self righteousness from their mother.

They watched as Henrik said something they didn’t hear but managed to make Klaus flinch and for a moment look guilty.

Finn stiffened at the image if Kol had been bad enough of a copy of Elijah, they both shared a dramatic and devious nature from what little he had seen. Meeting Henrik was worse, as it seemed his younger brother and their youngest brother had both developed the ability to wield guilt like a weapon.

Finn’s arm twinged suddenly and he jumped looking down at his arm before he felt it happen again and he realised it was his scars.

He and Freya had long ago worked out Elijah’s sensitivity to their magic in the link was due to being linked before he had grown old enough to have a real sense of the world. The closest Finn got to what Elijah had explained was after his brother had attempted to heal his self inflicted wounds before Dahlia found them. The scars would itch whenever Elijah was close or used a large amount of magic, the latter rarely happened.

So he shouldn’t have been that surprised when the four vampire's necks snapped and they all dropped to the floor like puppets with their sting cut, shortly followed by Elijah walking into the place at a calm pace. 

His brother alway had his own way to doing things, a quiet threat but one nonetheless, and while Finn had been missing him, concerned over where he was since he was headed here to look for Freya as soon as they woke up Finn would rather Elijah had stayed as far away until after Dahlia was dealt with or she dealt with them.

Elijah was going to throw himself in the middle to try and buy mercy from their aunt for them and there was no way she would allow that to stand after they openly tried to break her and mother’s deal.

He was only going to get himself hurt.

Dahlia had taken them last time someone had tried that and seemingly only learned the younger the child she took the easier it was to shape them into obedient tools.

He smothered guilt over his own thoughts; he knew Elijah wasn’t as well behaved as he pretended but he was almost as sure that Elijah's attempts to break the deal or kill Dahlia was mostly to free him and Freya.

The time he had found Elijah setting up an entire collection of old vampires and their coven to go against Dahlia while offering himself as a prize came to mind.

“Elijah.” Freya reacted first, throwing herself from the couch to hug Elijah, Finn followed,

“Sister, Brother.” he called back, slightly muffled by how tight they were hugging him, Finn narrowed his eyes as he noticed how tightly Elijah was holding them back.

“You know?” he asked, speaking more into his brother’s hair than to him, hade Elijah learned about Hope, was it from their link to Dahlai or had-

“You’ve seen her.” Freya finished his though aloud as they finally let go of each other, Elijah looked uncomfortable as stepped back before telling them.

“Not in person, she used Kenning on the guy i was-”

They both cut him off with a hiss, Finn smothered his rage, Dahlia had killed Freya’s Mathias, and this wasn’t the first time she had used Kenning to take over whatever man Elijah had taken to bed as a distraction, all the more reason Finn had begged Sage to stay away until after they had dealt with her. 

“Yeah it wasn’t great.” Elijah finished as he looked away, taking in the collection of the temporary dead siblings.

“Why the entrance?” Freyas asked, suddenly looking concerned, no doubt hoping a full introduction could help calm some of the tension, Klaus had been asking for more details on Elijah since he had managed to get Finn to explain his scars. Kol had mentioned meeting him once but hadn’t been able to tell Finn anymore, than one of the covens of New Orleans a century ago had asked Kol for help removing a foreign witch they believed was seducing their young witches into the darker arts.

Finn couldn’t argue against it as both he and Freya had found Elijah doing similar things when he wasn’t taking part in fighting pits and underground fighting rings. 

“The less people know I'm here the better.” was the excuse, which Finn had to agree it was bad enough they were working with their siblings which Dahlia knew but at least one visit to speak to just them could be blamed on Elijah trying to talk them down, to get them back.

To keep the peace as he had always done, Dahlia wouldn’t think to much of it, as much as he hated it he was thankful if it gave him a last chance to see his brother.

“Elijah-” he started,

“You're not going to reconsider.” Finn tried not to hear the pleading his Elijah’s voice, but found himself unable to respond.

“We won’t.” Freya told him reaching out with a hand to grab his.

“She’s going to kill you both.” Elijah suddenly snarled, making them flinch at the sudden change, before Elijah took a breath and swallowed the rage and panic he had let out for a minute. 

Finn shared a look with Freya, they both hated how much Elijah refused to let himself feel. It was all the more reason that had to do this, to save Hope from being raised to be the same, to give Elijah a future to learn where he can be open with himself.

“We have to do this.” Finn echoed Freya, setting a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“I know” Elijah sighed seemingly defeated, Finn disliked the look on his brother and the fact they had put it there but he was still hit with a sinking thought.

“Don’t do anything reckless.” he told him desperately hoping this wasn’t going to be their last words but needing his little brother to remember them if they were if the worst happened and he was left alone with Dahlia.

Elijah smiled at him widely but the the amusement never reached his eyes.

“Like openly working against Dahlia?” he asked, before turning and walking away, “Never.” he called back.

They both ignored the shake in his voice, by the time their siblings revived, Elijah was gone and he and Freya sat on the couch holding each other at the thought of that being the last time they saw their little brother.

This had to work, they weren’t going to leave him behind with her.

—--

Elijah grasped the pendent, feeling the flickering soul within it, and swallowed around the lump in his throat.

Neither of them had noticed him switch the pendants, part of the reason he had made sure the vampires were out of commission.

“Come along mother, time to fix your mistake.” he told the soul, soon he’d bring her back, get to see the parent that had caused their pain and finally free his siblings from the chains of Dahlia and burden of himself.

It may be reckless but he had been planning it for years, centuries of other witches working in his memory and he had never been open with his work against their aunt.

This had to work, he was going to free them of their pain, and take her with him.

[papermatisse]

Don't Look Back || K.JM

† genre: horror

† word count: 2.7k

† warnings: automatonophobia, liminal spaces/warped reality, explicit death scene

† synopsis: one of these mannequins is out of place...

† (a/n): third installment of my spooktober anthology event, but ironically the first story I actually finished! this one is based on this mannequin game I played once where you were being chased by mannequins. at first it was creepy, but as it dragged on, it got kinda funny lol. this one does not get funny ☺️

† taglist: @scuzmunkie @hipsdofangirl @hydroyaksha

anthology | main masterlist

Working in retail is hell on earth, but it's not so bad when you have your best friend to suffer alongside you. Shenanigans between tasks, shared breaks for lunch dates at the food court, inside jokes to keep you going through the shift. One inside joke in particular was in regards to a certain mannequin in the men's section.

"Why is he… hot?" Jennifer asked as the two folded clothes on a shelf situated before said mannequin. (y/n) looked up at the mannequin towering over them, wearing the articles of clothing they were currently dealing with, prompting her to snort at the commentary.

"Only you would point out a mannequin's physical attributes."

"No, I'm serious!" Jennifer pushed in her defense, chuckles bubbling out by the end of her sentence. She raised a hand to the man as she began passionately explaining herself. "He has gentle eyes, and the classic Disney prince smolder! And his hair!"

"It's all painted on!" (y/n) couldn't stop laughing along with her friend, who only seemed to grow even more offended with the ongoing dismissal of her newfound beau.

"You're telling me you've never found a painting so beautiful that it keeps you awake all night thinking about it?" At this interjection, (y/n) grew quiet, knowing she's done exactly that and Jennifer knows that just as well as she does. Nevertheless, (y/n) continued her folding with a dismissive grumble, Jennifer giggling to herself as she did the same.

(y/n) spared a few glances to the mannequin, acknowledging the details Jennifer highlighted. The soft, faded brown of his round painted eyes, the chiseled molding of each of his strong features, the almost Adonis like creation of this seemingly out of place mannequin.

The store was older with a variety of mannequins. Blank ones of varying poses, delicate ones with makeup styles straight from certain decades, many of which were broken or dilapidated in a way. The mannequins on display were, of course, the most put together of the bunch, and this included the mannequin perched atop this men's shirt display.

Since that day, the two would continuously tease each other about him. Snapping photos of him as they pass by to send to the other, faux discussing a boy they met only to reveal it was the mannequin the entire time, or merely the subtle winks and glances that fully conveyed their jesting intentions.

Nevertheless, the mannequin, of which the girls had affectionately nicknamed Suho, remained a permanent fixture of the store, even during remodeling. Instead of tucked away at the back in the men's section, he now stood on a display only a mere few feet in front of the cash registers, facing out towards the customers. With his back facing them, it prompted a few more jokes out of Jennifer, easy bait that they both knew was practically handed to them on a silver platter, but still as funny as ever.

"Hey, are you okay manning the station on your own?" Jennifer asked, nervously glancing up from her phone.

"Of course. Why? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, my mom's car broke down on the highway." She sighed, shooting another text from her phone before looking back to (y/n).

"That's tough. Go ahead, I'll be okay."

"Thank you. I seriously owe you one!" With that, she ran off to the back of the store, leaving (y/n) on her own at the register.

She really did mean it when she said she'd be alright. With only about a half hour left until closing time, and with only a handful more customers remaining, it wasn't anything she couldn't handle.

The air was stuffy and the fluorescent lights above were somewhat irritating. A monotonous pop song that has played about a hundred times today alone droned distantly from the speakers, and without her friend to drown it out, (y/n) was beginning to lose herself to the elements of the store.

Discreetly out of the corner of her eye, she could see an old woman, bundled up in a dense purple cardigan, carding through the rack of dresses. As far as (y/n) was aware, this was the last customer, and she highly doubted she'd be buying anything from that selection.

She drummed her fingers along the counter, eyes getting lost in its beige void, waiting for her day to end so she could leave this long and tedious shift. Beyond the grainy ambience of the playlist, she listened to the metallic screech of hanger against bar as the woman pushed aside each article of clothing.

Screech.

Screech.

Screech.

It was a cycle of monotony encircling (y/n), in which every element blended together in a jarring cacophony of noise. The woman with her hangers, the next pop song starting up, the low hum of the fluorescent lights above.

But between all of this, an element of surprise somehow managed to slip into the mix. A scrape which sounded so distinct, yet something (y/n) could not pinpoint. It grated upon her ears however, drawing a grimace out of her that had (y/n) immediately glancing up to survey the woman again.

Instead, what she was met with was Suho. More specifically, Suho now fully facing her.

She felt her stomach drop at the sight before her, her jaw falling in a silent gasp as he now faced the cash registers. The positioning of his limbs were all the same, that lifeless and distant stare still directed aimlessly forward.

He was just… turned around.

There was no one here. No one to have moved him at that very moment. The thought rattled her brain, hopelessly attempting to conjure some reason to the almost supernatural display before her, but nothing came to mind. No explanation as to how Suho could have moved.

"Excuse me," a voice startled (y/n) out of her stupor, redirecting her to the customer awaiting service. The old woman. She had chosen her dress.

(y/n) had quickly rung her up, bidding her a good night and thus being condemned once more to a bout of solitude. The fluorescent lights still pulsed above her, the next pop song now well into its playthrough, and Suho was still very much so facing her.

The moment her phone had indicated closing time, (y/n) all but rushed out of the cash register nook, not daring to look back at Suho. She had instead opted to retrieve her phone, quickly texting Jennifer the freaky encounter she'd just had. Though before she could make it very far, however, she patted her pockets, realizing her keys were not there.

In a brief moment of panic, she patted her other pocket, worry shooting through her as she was sure she just had them. That must mean they were dropped by the registers or something.

She sighed, turning around to retrace her steps, though stopping immediately as she stared down the walkway of the store.

In regards to the general layout of the store, carpeted sections of varying genres surrounded the reflective ceramic tiled pathways. Men's section, women's section, children's section. And among those sections were, of course, mannequins. So many mannequins. Mannequins which usually stared forward with a blank canvas of a face.

They do not usually crane their necks to stare at the exact spot you stand in—though that's the reality (y/n) met when she turned around.

Every mannequin in her general vicinity stared at her with those barren faces of theirs, heads all turned in her direction no matter where they stood. The sight had her entire body leap with fright, a brief yelp of shock expelling from her lips as she was greeted by such a sight.

(y/n) took a tentative step forward, eyes nervously bouncing from one figure to the next, monitoring for any movement of the sort, looking out for that telltale scrape of their porcelain-like joints shifting. Yet as she reached the end of the aisle, there was nothing of the sort. No change. They remained staring at the spot she once stood, and as she turned the corner to head back to the register, she felt silly for even toying with the idea of mannequins moving.

As she arrived to the registers, she began rummaging through the various hideaways she could find, coming up empty. The counters were spotless and the drawers contained their usual miscellaneous items tossed in over the years. She began considering other locations to check, and while she stood there in her own thoughts, her eyes naturally wandered up and ahead of her to where Suho usually stood.

Except now, there was no Suho.

(y/n) froze for the umpteenth time tonight, though only for a moment before she rushed over to the now barren spot. And where Suho once stood, there lay her keys, abandoned on his pedestal with no sign of the mannequin.

Without sparing another thought, (y/n) grabbed her keys and booked it for the backroom. Her feet slammed against the tiles beneath here, breath already heaving as she barreled down the long aisle of mannequins whom she ignored at all costs. She didn't care where they were looking. She didn't care if they were even still sitting there. All she knew was that she needed to get out of there as soon as humanly possible.

She yanked open the door to the backrooms. The walkways between the different storage areas and facilities of the store, and the only way to get to the back where she was parked. The fluorescent lighting here was more sparse than that of the store inside, bringing a repetitive pattern of lit spots alongside dimmed ones down the gray walled corridors which seemed to stretch as far as the eye can see.

Why was the corridor so long? Was it always this long?

Why was she out of breath? How long has she been running down this corridor?

She suddenly came tumbling to the floor, gasping as her body collapsed onto the concrete floors of the backrooms. She lay there for a moment in shock, gasping for air, wincing at the scrapes now lining her hands and forearms. A grimace slipped out of her as she pushed herself up, the sound of her weak voice reverberating off the endless labyrinth she had found herself in.

There was only the sound of her huffing and puffing as she attempted to regain herself. And then there was a sound of porcelain dragging against the floor.

With a gasp, (y/n) whirled around. He was a distance away, though still as clear as day. Standing beneath one of the fluorescent light fixtures from above.

Suho.

His expression was unchanged, as was his pose. He just… stood there. Staring at her. Yet even with his painted, stoic face, (y/n) could feel… contempt. Disdain. Like he meant her harm, and would do so at all costs.

She whimpered beneath his glower and quickly staggered to her feet, turning around to keep running down the corridor, though the moment she had stopped looking at him, the sound returned. And when she looked back at him, he was in the ray of darkness between the light he had just stood in and that of the next.

He was approaching her.

A sense of dread washed over her as the realization struck, and hot tears began pouring down her face in endless streams. With one last ditch effort, (y/n) turned and dashed down the corridor, arms swinging rapidly back and forth as her numb legs carried her as quickly as they could, purely fueled off the adrenaline which coursed through her feeble body. Blood pumped through her ears, and the sound of her pulse and her labored breathing masked whatever sounds may have transpired behind her.

She couldn't turn back. She knew turning back was certain death. And at this point, she realized that something was wrong with her surroundings. Something was wrong with the corridor. But there was no time to dwell. There was no time to rest. The moment she stopped running would be her final moment alive.

As if a miracle, the door to the outside finally came into her vision, right at the end of the corridor as it usually is. A smile twitched at the corner of her lips as she booked it for the exit, slamming her body into the dense slab of metal, though screaming in agony as she was met with resistance. She pushed again, pressing at the release, yet it didn't budge.

A screech tore at her throat, fear and rage broiling within her as she repeatedly slammed her fists at the door, begging for anyone to perhaps hear her desperation—her final moments. Yet as the sounds of her yells fizzled into that of sobs, she knew there was nothing more to be done.

In the suffocating silence of the dimly lit corridor, she found herself weakly sliding down the door, trembling breaths and quiet tears coming out shallow and broken. She had hit a deadend, and there was no way of escape. No hope left in her to even believe in any righteous intervention of the sort.

The scraping sound of porcelain drew nearer, and she finally looked up at what was coming for her.

He dragged himself forward, gliding across the cement in a smooth and unhindered manner. His lifeless eyes and unnerving smile continued to penetrate forward, straight ahead at the door, and somehow the lack of attention directly on her struck more terror into her. Inch by inch, he drew closer and closer, fading in and out of the beams of light until he had finally reached the patch of light directly before he'd be where she stood.

And then he stopped. He stood there. Unmoving.

(y/n) felt her hands scrambling for something, reaching out as far as she could from where she lay, hoping to find something she could as a weapon. Though she came up empty with only her set of keys trembling in her hands. She clutched them between her fingers, each key protruding forth like a set of claws, and she cradled her only defense to her chest, waiting for his next move.

It had grown deathly silent for moment, her breath hitched at her throat, and she quaked upon herself in whole body tremors.

Then his finger twitched. A sickening crack like breaking bones, yet he remained perfectly intact. Merely his finger was in a different position. And then his hand. And then his arm. Each followed by that resounding snap as he shifted in a broken and robotic manner. She watched with bated breath and trembling gasps as Suho began ambling forward once more in this terrifyingly decrepit manner, limbs contorting all while those cracks continued to resonate in the atmosphere surrounding her.

Her heart pounded hopelessly against her chest, utter fear squeezing at her throat with a vice like grip. There was no way of escaping. No way to evade the sinister presence creeping towards her with this impenetrable persistence.

As Suho drew nearer, this unsettling sensation washed over, as if the air around her had grown thick with pure malevolence all but emanating off him, suffocating her with endless dread and despair. She felt a presence unlike anything she'd felt before. Something more than just the lifeless form that stood before her.

Suho stood where her feet lay, limbs still jerking sporadically. And in the midst of these jolts, his head finally snapped down to where she lay, prompting her to press even further into the door. A loud and fearful gasp ripped out of (y/n) as Suho collapsed onto his knees, crawling up her body on all fours as she all but begged for mercy—desperate and incomprehensible mumbles while her trembling hands which gripped her keys fell limply to her side.

The cold, icy touch of his porcelain fingers grazed her hot skin, stretching along the planes of her neck, light as they encircled her throat before suddenly clenching with a furious might. Panic suddenly encompassed her as her airways became obstructed, her hands flailing up and grasping at his arms, nails scraping against him, though sliding off with no effect whatsoever. Meanwhile, his fingers constricted against her throat, their stone-like surface burrowing into her skin and drawing warm blood which trickled down her body as black spots began blurring her vision.

His force was unrelenting, all the while staring down at her with those soft brown painted eyes and that charming smiling, the last sight she saw before she finally faded away.

[writingwenches]

48 with Cinda Lannister & Jason + Tyland Lannister?

48. Childhood

OoOoOoo, thanks for this one! I have so many thoughts already about them growing up. Also, about me, I can't write just a little something...T.T (other prompt asks might not get this much, I just have so much in my head already about Cinda's childhood LOL) Cinda was born wheeling and dealing. I don't interact with children, soOoOo idk what six year olds are like lol 🦁💰🦁💰🦁💰🦁💰🦁💰🦁💰

Jason and Tyland Lannister were already men grown when their mother gave birth to her final child, the girl she had always wanted. Lady Jaeniffer Lannister named her daughter Cinda.

"Where is Mother?" Jason asked, hurriedly looking around. He had not been Lord Lannister for more than a few years, and Lord Jason needed to make a proper first impression in his dealings with the "new" royal family.

"She's asleep," Tyland replied, with a sigh.

Both men's eyes fell on the young sight before them, a Lannister cub, their sister of barely six. The little girl perked up at the attention, her golden curls bouncing with her childlike frame, tucked into a decadent crimson gown, and priceless jewels.

Cinda smiled toothlessly, "Today! I saw a..." the child spoke.

"No! no, no. Not when the men are speaking," Jason quickly interjected. He had never spoken to his younger sister, and did not have any plans to for years to come.

The little girl shut her mouth tight. The little Lady Cinda liked following the rules as if it were a game, mainly because she enjoyed the candied sweets she would get when she did something proper and ladylike, like remaining quiet when men are speaking.

"Are you sure the queen will want such a — gift?" Tyland asked, once again trying to force his brother's mind to rethink the ridiculous plan.

"Every Queen wants for a child, so we found her a child. What more could the girl want, Tyland?" Jason spoke of Lady Alicent, set to be ordained Queen of the Seven Kingdoms in a few days time. "The Queen will see our sister as a companion, to raise alongside her own children, and they will — dance, and sing, and do whatever it is Ladies do together."

The two men did not know as to why the young girl's face was contorting into the beginnings of annoyance. It was not that the little lady was shocked to be spoken about like some pawn in a game, little Cinda knew exactly what she was. Cinda was there to serve as a dolly for whichever beautiful Lady wanted to play with her. She was to act and dress and smile the way they liked, she was to please them.

...for a price.

Her hands were on her hips now. "Where is—"

"Please, no! Nope! No!" Jason begged the child like a cup overfilling, not to interrupt his train of precious thought.

"Where is my sweet!" Cinda shouted louder!

The men were taken aback by her voice, huddling together at her boisterous tone. "Go fetch Mother!" they said to one another.

"I have your sweets, my Lady!" a servant, Maery, came hurriedly past the Lord and his twin.

"Those are Mother's sweets!" Cinda corrected, somewhat shocked. She had never seen the trinket box separated from her mother before. If Maery had access to the sweets when Mother wasn't around...well, that changed everything.

"I need not listen to you!" Cinda informed her brother's, "You don't even have sweets!" Honestly, it was shocking and appalling as far as the six year old was concerned. All she knew about peasants were that they don't have sweets.

"We will get them some sweets, my Lady," Maery assured her.

Tyland and Jason held each other, Jason finally somewhat reconsidering his grand plan.

[skitskatdacat63]

misc lore drop day 53/?

On Day 51, I said they’ve had several first meetings. That they’re all very different due to the different circumstances of each. I said even when they meet for the second time after growing up more, there still is so much difference between when they meet alongside other people versus when it’s just them. The others involved in the making of the “treaty” basically kick them out, because I mean, they really are just pawns in a greater political game. At this point at least, considering neither of them is actually in charge of any kingdom. They’re the future of these kingdoms, but their power is still locked away by the older generation nonetheless(It’s really interesting because the irl guy who became King of Spain apparently did NOT want to become the king, but it was out of his hands. The future Emperor trying to become King of Spain DID want it, but also it was his father and court’s will in the first place. I find that dynamic interesting, like yeah you literally are the future monarch, but we’re still engineering this all above your head. No matter how self-important you feel, you’re never going to be fully in control, at least at some points in your life.) 

Though let me be clear, Seb’s a lot more involved in the process than Fernando assumes he is. Fernando is much more of a pawn, but at this moment, he’s not too upset about it. It’s when it’s actually confirmed is when he starts getting more resentful about it. It’s one thing to be offered such an important title, it’s another when it’s finalized, and you realize, oh hey, maybe this wasn’t the most fair for me. It’s one thing if your dream has the potential of getting realized, and another when you actually have to deal with the consequences and toll of such a deal. Anyways. So they get kicked out, to go “ start getting familiar with each other.” I wrote about this a while ago, way before I was even doing these but. I love the image of them , at first, both trying to act super formal, almost peacocking around like, look how grown up I am, look much mature, look how regal! So they’re both walking side by side, super stoic, trying to outdo each other in formality, such showmanship. It’s soooo fake though, because at that point, neither of them really care about courtesy and etiquette that deeply. Though, Fernando will change his tune on that soon enough, and act like his younger self never happened. But then they get to actually talking, and they realize that their respective traits that once appealed to each other and made the other endearing now come off as incredibly annoying, seen in this new light. Seen in the light of, oh my god, this is the guy I’m going to spend the rest of my life with!?

Even though Fernando is not the aloof, above-it-all king-to-be he’s going to eventually become, Seb still finds him to be way too haughty. He had found it charming when he met when he was younger. He almost looked up to him, even though their meeting was relatively brief. He thought, now there’s someone who knows how to be regal. Now it’s just frustrating, like I am literally going to be your Emperor, why are you acting so arrogant towards me?? Meanwhile the childish show-off behavior Fernando once found cute now is incredibly irritating on Seb’s older, handsome ugh, face. It’s one thing for a little kid to spout off constantly how he’s gonna be emperor, it’s another when it’s coming from the mouth of a man six years your junior. When Fernando had been looking at Seb from across the room earlier, he had been pleasantly surprised at how handsome of a young man Seb grew up to be since he last saw him. Now he thinks, well if only his mouth was sewn shut so I could retain my earlier surprise. It’s so funny though because they’re annoyed at each for literally acting THE EXACT SAME WAY! They’re both being equally pompous braggarts, yet get fed up with each other for the same behavior. Meanwhile their courtiers are watching them like, oh?? I think they’re getting along???