#so yo do what you can and embarass the living hell out of them

[sleepyone2three]

A piece of dialog I plan to use at some point in Little Knowledge, Lotsa Heart, but just had to share. Because it's honestly a mood with the stress those idiots put the poor reader through.

"Attraction has nothing to do with the matter; sexual or otherwise," you huffed, indignant at the very suggestion in and of itself. "I'd yell at and embarrass every single one of my numbskull crewmates if meant keeping them from getting needlessly killed."

[saphirafoxgirlspost1]

(Open Rp) Winter, Romance, Billionare love story au And Christmas time in"Christmas in Silver and Gold"

In 1962 at the Big apple City of New York, There was a best Buisness In this City is Modeling For Magazines and include a "Hot" magazine as well.. The Founder and The CEO of this Modeling Buisness For "Japan times" and "Hot Dragon" Magazine. Her Name is Saphira Lorraina Fox, and She Is Living in the Life of the Luxury as well..But not Only that, She Married To a "Right man" Or so..She thought... What She's Famous For Is Sweetness..and also She made a Real Good Money though.. but She Doesn't care about money, She cared about a good people who are in needs..Heres where All the Troubles began. On the First Day Of December in New york, New York. Saphira Tells Her Husband That She is going to Host a Nice Christmas party at the 20th of December.. But Her Husband who's name is "Rodger james Boar" Who was well.. A greedy, Gold-digging man, who secretly has been cheated on his wife for about 5 or 6 months from now with a Fine Woman who is also knew saphira as her Arch Bully from highschool name "Octavia Night"...She Plotted to Humiliated Saphira So much.. but Now She's pregnant with Rodgers baby big time without saphira knowing. When Saphira Came back From the Store Buying Groceries..and then began to Make Dinner and she said "Dear Does Beuford stew sounds good to you dear?" but then her Ungrateful husband said "Why Should I Eat that Crap!?" Then saphira Pulls out a Rollin pin and She said angerly

Saphira: BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T EAT ANY OF MY DINNER THAT I'D JUST MADE SO DEAL WITH IT OR SO HELP ME I'LL BEAT YOU TILL YOU EAT IT!! UNDERSTAND!?

Rodger: *whimpers* Yes ma'm...

Saphira: *Sternly* Thats Better.. We Have House rules Hun.. and you know the Rules..

Rodger: Yes dear...No Tyrant in the House..

Saphira: Thats Right! So throw that Tyranted Attitude Out to the Window.. And you Better be on Your Best Behavior On that party Coming in.. but One Slip of Embarassment From  my Home Can Cause My Reputation Being *Shudders* Shattered... And your Family Reputation will be Ruined as Well.. I swear to your Fathers Grave.. if any affairs that Makes Even More Embarassment! I Will Divorce you Straight up!

Rodger: Yes Dear...

Saphira; Good! Cause the Last thing I'll ever need Is you being cut off By your own father.. he and I Are good Buisness partner and It stays like that.. So Don't Screw it up..*pointed at him with her eyes Narrowing*

Then.. On the 20th of December, The Announcement Party and Christmas party was Great and  elegant,, all men and women wears a nice Glamorus dresses and Suits For a Special Holiday, Saphira made a Most greatest host in the party..She try to Find her Husband to make a Best  Announcement about the New Magazine that She made just for a family called a "Holiday Magazine".. But Little Does she knows that her arch bully was here though with Rodger..but rodger was So drunk.. he began to get On the Stage And He Said Right out in the Open with Octavia..right in front of saphira,

Rodger: *Drunk* alright Listen everyone..

*People saw him as a Big fat mess and covered in lipstick and the news and paparazzi began to take pictures and saphira gasp*

Saphira; *Whispers* What the hell are you doing!?

Rodger: *pointed at saphira* OOooooH Shut it Ya Fox eared Bitch.. You know.. the reason why I married yo Ugly ass because of Money..

*Saphira's eyes Widen with rage as her hand balled up into a Fist*

Rodger: And also I love your money so much that i wanted to spended on Octavia..and also.. I Stole from the idea's and gave it to "Her" company..so we can make more money so i can marry her too..and we are having a baby too..

*octavia Pointed at her pregnant belly while saphira was in rage and her blood began to boil*

Rodger: So Ha! I Said an- whoa! *he fell and Landed on the Christmas cake and people gasp*

Saphira was So Furious..Saphira storms at octavia who she is Smirking..but her Smirks fades when she punch her in the gut in anger and throws her out in the streets..and then...Next day..Saphira Stood there when Rodger Woke up..and he sees Saphira's rageful look on her face..and He Made a Fearful Smiles and Said,

Rodger: umm I..can...Explain..*Chuckles Sheepishly*

Saphira: *angerly* Explain..What...You deliberately made a Most Embarassment Fiasco! At my House!! and Not only that you've been Sleeping with my Enemy!?

Rodger: Look look.. I didn't mean to sa-

*Smack*

Saphira: You.. are Disgrace of your Families name AND THE COMPANIES!! *cross her arms*

Rodger: Look.. please.. don't te-

Saphira; Your Father and your Family Knew it because They are here! And your Father are SO Disgusted that he wanted me to tell you.. That YOU ARE CUT OFF!!

Rodger: WHAT!?

Saphira: You heard me..and Also.. Your Fired! and *Pulls out a Divorce papers* I Sign the Divorce papers..and I have Full Custody of your Home and everything else..

Rodger: please.. Saph... I'm Sorry for what I said last night.. I-

Saphira: Its too late.... You made me and Your family an embarassment moment of our lives and also.. I will not Allow to Have a “Gold Digger” In my House!.. so.. *Pulls his baggages and throws him out* Don't you ever come back..Or So help me I will put a restraining Orders on you!

*Slammed the Door*

5 years Later, Saphira Buisness is back in section..No man being with her at all..because of Betrayals and embarassment.. but her ex Father in law gave her the Company to expand after he passed away.. as For her Ex husband and That arch bully..they got bankrupt and Live in the Homeless place..Along with their child is now in Foster care...But hey.. they got what they deserve...Meanwhile..Saphira was Smoking a Cigarettes...she remembers her embarassment..She knew she would Punish her ex Even more.. Until..Mary, Saphira's Own Secretary called and she said "umm Mistress Saph, We have a New Company that wants to see you.." Then Saphira press the button and said "Send them in please" Then the secretary lets them in and saphira turns around and saw....

[faerielleart]

who is here for a really bad and random high school au that is completely self indulgent yo

in which levi loses a bet with erwin and mike and is forced to audition for their school’s production of les misérables, he tries to mess up the audition but somehow he still sucks less than everyone so he ends up getting the part of marius??? and he can’t quit because it will influence negatively on his grades??? idk imagine levi reading the script without knowing shit about the play and reading all the cheesy lines for the first time and him hating every single thing about this situation until the first day of rehearsal where he meets the person who will play cosette, his weird schoolmate hanji who shares some classes with him who is always spending time in the school laboratory to do experiments and shit and oh. Oh.

at first dude wants to Scream because he just can’t bear the thought of acting like a booby who is madly in love (quoting old les mis memes from years ago here) with this wEiRdO who somehow has a pretty fucking amazing voice and wow maybe this weirdo,,,,, isn’t a bad weirdo. how bizzarre

Maybe just maybe as the days go by they start spending time together because hey! Looks like they are polar opposites but at the same time they have SO! MANY! things in common!!! and they eventually use rehearsing as an excuse to spend even more time together! and they bond over the fact that they’re supposed to play characters who are SO distant and different from how they are irl and levi finds out that hanji tried to audition as a joke but got the part bc she can actually S I N G like an angel and has a really solid head voice and range despite being a mezzo and cosette needing a soprano bc her parents forced her to take lessons, while levi despite having a decent singing voice actually had to have the songs lowered a lil bc bby is a baritone in a tenor role and has never had lessons and can’t support all the notes but fear not! Hanji offers to teach him some tips and tricks and whoops now they’re spending even more time together

And maybe just maybe it becomes easier for levi to sing “in my life she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun, and my life seems to stop as if something is over and something has scarcely begun”, maybe it comes natural for levi to stutter his line in “a heart full of love, a heart full of song, i’m doing everything all wrong” because?? he is looking right at hanji’s really pretty brown eyes and he can’t concentrate?? and he hates feeling like this lmaooo like sweaty palms butterflies fast heartbeat,,,,, boi is in love and he doesn’t realize it he just thinks he’s constipated

anyway let’s spice shit up and add erwin to the mix! erwin knows hanji, they’re childhood friends and they actually met through their singing lessons, the dude who was going to play enjolras gets idk chicken pox and the director is frantically looking for a substitute, levi wants to get back at erwin for making him audition in the first place (it’s all in good faith tho it’s a joke and they’re best friends dw he just wants to have a lil revenge) and suggests erwin, not knowing that he and hanji know each other and that he actually has been trained in singing so yeah erwin gets called for a last-minute audition and dude SMASHES it the director’s crying tears of joy they found their authentic tall hot blonde enjolras who looks like he’d be a great commander and people would die for him (;DDDDD) and during rehearsal levi finds erwin and hanji chatting like old friends!! and dude’s like wtf do u know each other??? and hanji says hell yes we studied together since we were children :D and just because i am huge huge erumike trash lemme say that mike got a lil part bc they needed ensemble members and he got to play grantaire so yeah enjoy both e/R and erumike there we go erwin gets to act with his boyfriend!! and they both watch levi and hanji during rehearsal and see how they obviously pine for each other but are far too oblivious for their own good so they decide here and there that they must get those two together bc it’s exHAUSTING to watch them stare lovingly into each other’s eyes and hold hands and kiss and then brush it off saying “it’s just acting we literally have to play a couple”

anyway the day of the show is here ladies and gentlemen levi is nervous af but doesn’t show it, he has to act like a lovesick fool in front of the whole school, the students, the teachers, the parents, EVERYONE and oh my god i hate it here might become his gratuation quote but all he needs is hanji backstage who squeezes his hand and whispers “can’t wait for you to sweep me off my feet shorty” which is extremely cringy but hanji did it on purpose just to see levi get embarassed and he does lmao so yeah the show goes amazingly! levi went flat a few times on the higher parts but it’s totally normal bby’s not trained and he did great everyone praise the birthday boy he deserves it

it’s after the show that things get a lil sad for our boi bc now he doesn’t have to rehearse anymore and is afraid that hanji won’t spend time with him anymore bc the show’s over :(( but fear NOT hanji plans on glueing herself to his side for the rest of the schoolyear and until they graduate and even after that and years later they’ve graduated college they’ve been living together for a while and they go to see the actual show on bway done by professionals and hanji acts weird all evening and OH as they’re going home she stops in the middle of the streets and whips out two lil matching rings,,,,,,, and says the cringiest cheesiest fucking thing in the world that has levi groaning and facepalming,,,,,, hanji says “will u be the marius to my cosette” and yeah levi just sighs and puts the ring on his finger and they smooch under the moonlight aw isn’t that CUTE and they lived happily ever after victor hugo is smiling down at them from the afterlife and patting himself on the back for helping them get together

NOW THERE’S TOO MUCH FLUFF AND I NEED ANGST TO BALANCE IT OUT so imagine this is also a reincarnation au and whenever levi sings “empty chairs at empty tables” he gets a weird feeling in his stomach and he gets really emotional singing “oh my friends my friends forgive me that i live and you are gone, there’s a grief that can’t be spoken, there’s a pain goes on and on” and “oh my friends my friends don’t ask me what your sacrifice was for, empty chairs at empty tables where my friends will sing no more”?? He blames it on the character getting to him too much but then he sees the scene where the students sing drink with me and the lyrics “drink with me to days gone by, can it be you fear to die, will the world remember you when you fall, could it be your death means nothing at all, is your life just one more lie” sound really familiar and resonate with him somehow as if he heard similar words somewhere else already, he sees erwin playing enjolras and being a commander giving orders and singing “let others rise to take our place until the earth is free”, he sees the scene where all the students get shot at the barricade and die one by one and he feels his head pulse and he has the strongest feeling of deja-vu and suddenly everything goes black and he wakes up in the infirmary with a very worried hanji sitting on a chair beside him and he really can’t explain what happened except that he feels like he just woke up from a very long dream and he feels like he fought through a battle and hanji just waves it off as him taking the stanislavski technique a bit too seriously for a high school play but the feeling doesn’t really ever go away and sticks with him even years later whenever he hears les mis being mentioned

[itsalreadybroken]

The way it all began - ONE SHOT

Summary: You were about to prepare yourself for your 3rd year anniversary with Chris Evans as a couple and you remember the day you met him and how slowly you fell for him.

A/N: I know this isn't Queen's but I also love the Avengers likeeeeee a lot (stupid 13 yo voice in  my head right now) and also with a huge crush on Captain America because... HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?!

Just a bit much of fluff right now, because I'm in no mood for drama. Hope you like it!!

Word counting: 2720

~~~

There you were, talking non-stop about Marvel's latest movie and your bestie couldn't hear you for another second. You were babbling something about being able to meet the Avengers and she was yet so bored. Julia cared about make-up, music, dancing. You soon realised you had no rythm or whatsoever so the only dance you could do was the one you do when you had a few more beers and didn't really cared about who saw you dance.

"But you see if I meet Captain America and he asks me to dance, I won't be able to accept unless I make a total fool of myself" your eyes layed on Julia and she laughed.

"I cannot believe you would be that bad... I have been trying to teach you a few steps... And why not Thor? Have you SEEN those biceps?" you nodded thinking it might be another good guy to date but Evan's and his ass were something.

You both went to a coffee shop and posters were everywheere about the movie, Julia grabbed her phone and called her boyfriend while you were left looking at the menu even though you knew wht you were going to order, the menu never changed, it had been the same since you were twelve.

A guy looked at you and you smiled back, but in a few seconds you looked at him again, and again and again and you tried to hold it instead you kicked Julia on hher ankle and she screamed.

"OUCH!!"

"Shhh!" you orderedd "Keep it down"

"I'll keep it down the moment you stop kicking me!"

"Calmly look at your left! It's Captain America!!!!!!" she could barely hear you so she kept looking everywhere making you feel so uncomfortable when Chris looked at you two again. He was wearing a hat and a jacket to not be so easily recognized but you discovered him anyway.

"No way, that cannot be..." but your friend knew. She knew it was him and she bit her lip."You have to go there!"

"No way!! I can't, I'll look stupid" you blushed and looked at the table.

The waiter came to take your orders and Julia quickly rushed on saying both of your orders so the waiter would go away.

"Y/N listen to me, you already look stupid by avoiding looking to a guy ho has nicely smiled at you at least twice. Soooo it's your guy! Go there... If it goes bad at least you'll have a selfie to prove everyone you met him"

You roolled your eyes and pressed your lips together, should you go there? Was it a good option? What would you say?

"Go! Ask for an autograph and then we can sell it and be totally rich!" she mocked you and you took a deep breath.

This was the opportunity of a lifetime. Even if you could have a picture with him tomorrow, it wouldn't be the same. Hundreds of fans, girls fangirling over the guys...

Okay, this was your shot.... This was your moment. You were going to meet your Captain, your hero. And when you got up and kept walking towards him you stumbled on something and regained balance almost hitting the floor and everyone saw it. He saw it and Julia was trying to not get ice tea out of her nostrils.

Chris got up really fast trying to help you and grabbed your shoulder "Are you alright?" he asked looking at you while having a smile forming in the corner of his mouth.

"I'm... I'm alright thanks.." you trembled on your own words and smiled "I was just going to ask you to take a selfie"

He chuckled "Of course!" he quickly replied "I'm Chris Evans by the way... But you already kow that" he hesitated and laughed.

"It's no biggie, I'm Y/N!" jeez why were you so nervous? Who the hell still used the words no biggie, you apparently.

"Nice to meet you!" he added while you ere both sitting on his booth "and nice shirt" he commented and you looked down. That's why he was looking at you, you were wearing a shirt with a drawing of Thor on it.

"Oh... Yeah, It's Thor. My friend gave it to me last Christmas" you shrugged and started looking for your phone "I just need to grab my phone I left it there" you pointed at your table where Julia was already eating her meal.

"No biggie, Mine's right here!" he picked it up and opened the camera.

So were you just having a dream or did you really just took a selfie with Chris Evans and his gorgeous smile?

He sent you the photos to your instagram. You and Julia were looking at them after he had left the diner "To a Thor's fan :)" he had wrote that on one of the messages and you were simply amazed by all that.

"So you didn't told him he was your favourite?" Julia rushed on saying and kept lookin to your phone like he would text something more.

"Of course not, 'm wearing a Thor's shirt and I'm also using "no biggie" as an expression... I mean..." Your best friend laughed and then looked at the window.

"You're being and idiot, the guy totally smiled at you and he was flirting"

3 months later

You worked at a catering service, you loved cooking and this was the closest you could get on getting people to know your dishes... You mostly were serving the entrees, but once in a while the main chef asked you to cook one of your specials... This one you got to make your special shrimp soup. This event was for some fancy couple you lived on the rich part of the town. You were about to get a new tray of food when you heard your name being called.

Looking up you recognized the smile "Chris?! I mean, Mr. Evans" you almost dropped the tray but he help you while laughing.

"Chris is fine" he said and you felt your cheeks going pink.

"I can't, must be totally professional" you gave him a shy smile.

"You never replied me" he said but then looking embarassed "I mean... You didn't thanked... For the photos".

"Oh" you kept looking at him for a full minute "Oh yeah you know... I mean... What would I say?" you asked biting your lip trying to look very calm

"I don't know, maybe a thank you or something" he gave you a concerned look.

"Yeah I know I should.... But this way I got to be the girl who never replied to Chris Evan" you winked at him and made a quick run to grab the tray of food you were already supposed to be serving.

3 months and a fewer hours later

You were leaving the Aniston's residence when you heard it again "Y/N!". You turned around to see Chris in a tux but with his shrit slighty unbottuned Delicious! You thought to yourself and smiled "So... Can I buy you a drink now?" he asked.

"Yeah sure, why not?" you instantly replied and shrugged your arms.

"Dammit, had a whole speech prepared in case you had said no" he laughed and mocked you "So let me be a gentleman, a smile crossed his lips and he opened the car door for you.

You went to a bar that wasn't that much crowded and the music was nice, some blues, a bit jazz, a bit 80's... Leaving you wondering what could be up next.

Chris and you sat on a booth and ordered a beer and a cosmopolitan.

"Usally the beer kind of girl, but since you're paying it and I am 'oh so exhausted', I need this!" you shyly smiled and he was looking directly at you.

"You have the nicest smile I have ever seen" he added coming out of nowhere to your conversation and you felt yourself blushing... A lot!

"Woah there Evans, daddy did not raise a fool! Men always say that kind of stuff when they want to pick up women"

"You know I could pick almost anyone I wanted" he winked and smirked at you.

"Nice way to get into someone panties" you laughed when your drinks arrived.

5 cosmopolitans and 7 beers later he did got into your panties.

7 months later

You woke up and Chris was still sleeping, one arm around your waist and one leg between yours. You turned around looking at him and started to kiss his jawline, followed by his neck and then his chest. When you looked at him, he had a smile, eyes still closed but suddenly "I love you Y/N" he spoke silently but you both felt a bit scared from the moment. He immediatly opened his eyes and kept an uncomfortable look, so did you, while sitting on this lap.

"You love me?" you babbled almost not sure if he understood you.

He ran a hand to his hair and pressed his lips "You know what? I do, I do love you and I was eager to say this to you at least for a month!"

"You have been loving me for a whole mont?" you asked still amazed and blinking so fast.

He grabbed your hands and kissed them both "I'm so sorry if that was too soon" he started to kiss your elbow when you got the courage to speak again.

"I think I love you too Chris..." your breath was wavy, you were feeling yourself getting turned on and the man was not stopping "For a few days, you have been the one I want to wake up next to"

He kissed your lips and after that was all bliss.

2 years and one month later

You were blindfolded, it was your birthday and you have been married to Chris for a year now. It had been the best year of your life so far. You got to meet Chris Hemsworth and took a bunch of pictures with him, while Evans got a bit cute jealous. Hemsworth was not going for much less while grabbing you and kissing your cheek.

"Where are we going?" you asked for the millionth time.

"Just wait and see." it was 3pm on the afternoon so you had no idea where he took you.

The car stopped and Chris helped you get out of the car.

You entered some place and a few minutes later he took you the blind fold off.

"Where are we?" you asked. It seemed a restaurant but it was closed... Well for the looks of it, it had been closed for a while.

"Your gift" he said while grabbing your hand "You always wanted your own place right? To be a chef and all that..." the tears reached your eyes.

"I did love, but.. IT's too much Chris, it's lovely, but it's too much.. I can't" a huge smile reached your lips.

"Think of it as a partnership, you couldn't invest in it, I could... So... we'll split the earnings"

You nodded in afirmation because you couldn't just talk... He was so perfect that you still didn't believe that guy could ever fell for you, but he did. He fucking did.

You laughed and kissed him, trying not to laugh, you were so happy, you were so in love.

"I fucking love you Captain America, you saved my world" he laughed and kissed your cheek.

"Watch your mouth young lady".

Present

You were sitting in the toilet, looking at the pregnacy test Positive you thought... You had agreed to try and have a baby, you just weren't expecting to happen so soon... Divided between getting ready for dinner and telling Chris, your mind wondered... Happywas how you felt, but either way you were pretty nervous, were you going to be a good mom? Will the baby like you?

Standing up and looking yourself in the mirror, your tummy still looked the same... You should hae known better when your period was late the first week.. Sometimes it happened but not three weeks, never three weeks.

An hour later Chris arrived home, he really had to get some shooting done today for a movie and you spent the whole morning together, it didn't matter really, you loved him, he loved you... Was a special day, but it was his work and you also had to check the restaurant to be sure the staff didn't need anything.

"You look... Astonishing!" you said looking at him in some new suit and drooling all over... How could you been married for three years and the man still made your hormones feel like you were a fifteen year old teen.

"You don't look that bad yourself Mrs. Evans" he laughed and grabbed your waist, pulling you closer to him and kissing you so very deeply. "I knew that red dress would be the death of me" you both laughed and he was looking into your eyes "What's happening, what's wrong? Look I'm sorry I had to..."

You pressed a finger to his lips "Shhh silly, it's not that. I'm so happy we're together. I can't believe I never get bored of you. Sometimes I need my little space and privacy but at the end of the day I love the feeling of you holding me" he kissed your forehead.

"Ready to let me rock your world?" he asked grabbing the car keys and pening the door.

"Couldn't think of it any other way" you said while grabbing your purse.

He had taken you to a pretty fancy reastaurant near the river and was a couples only restaurant, no kids, no families, just couples... In love.

After ordering you were looking toall the people standing there, you weren't even sure but on a table you thought you had seen George Clooney.

"So... You like it?" he gazed at you and you smiled.

"Our's is better buuuut this oone is fine" you grabbed his hand "I love it Chris, it's perfect" he caressed your hand with his tumb "But I do have one thing I gotta tell you and I have 0 idea how you might respond to it"

"What's happening?" he was concerned looking at you thinking what could have he done wrong. You quickly grabbed your purse, hands trembling a bit and you handed him your pregnancy test on a napkin "What's this...?" he asked while unfloding it "It's this..." words ran out of his mouth and you nodded.

"Yes, yes it is... Found out today because I was running a few days late... Okay weeks and I wasn't sure"

He quickly left himself up and kneeled next to you, touching your belly "Baby, it's too soon to feel the little bean we made" you laughed, some people were looking but he didn't care, he was just so happy "I know we have been trying, I never thought this would happen so fast" you added.

"I don't care love, I already love this baby more than anything"

You had just finished your dessert when the band made an annoucement "This one is for Mrs. Evans, your husband wants to tell the world you are the only thing that matters to him, and if he ever forgets to tell you that, you are more than allowed to make him sleep of the couch" the whole restaurant laughed and Can't Help Falling in Love of Elvis Presley started to play.

"You know...." his voice was no more than a whisper "Now there are two things that matter to me more than anything. You and that precious baby that hasn't even born yet and has to parents that love it more than theirs lifes" you kissed him and got up.

"We have to slow dance this" you murmured "I don't care how ridiculous we might look"

He got up and pull in in for a slow dance "You know, there's no way you could be more ridiculous than the day I met you. Believe me, I thank Julia everyday for that,was no biggie" he kissed you and deep in your soul you wish it had never ended.

[bifacialler]

So I went to see Frozen 2 with the fam

And let me put it into context, I thought the first one was... massively overrated. 

[Disclaimer: all of this is my personal opinion and you may not agree with it. There is a very high chance you will not agree with it. Also, I watched it with Russian dub, so maybe some finesse was lost on me.]  

Like okaaay, it’s a sister-tale and it was okay in terms of story and engagement, and yeah, we all laughed about Elsa’s ghost braid and the one-face syndrome of the female cast, but the animation quality was good, and Hans plot twist WAS unexpected. It just didn’t blow me way narratively. Maybe because Snow Queen was important to me as a child and the old soviet cartoon will forever be my go-to reference. 

So when I went to watch the Sequel, I a) had next to no idea what it was going to be about and b) seeing the trailer, I was sure the animation would have upgraded, and I hoped they would take on the misgivings of the first film and improve upon them. 

Frozen 2 (as it turned out to be) was not the film I expected to see. 

I’m going to make this (try to make this) a spoiler-free review. This is mostly for me to spill acid in the wake of Oscar Nominations that thought to include this sequel and fucking Live-Action Animation movie we are not going to name, and not KLAUS. 

Which is the best animation made this year. 

You can fight me outside if you don’t agree. 

[Missing Link was okay, though not as emotionally thoughtful as any other Laika work. Toy Story 4 was alright-ish, but still underwhelming in comparison to TS3. The only film I have no questions about is HTTYD 3 - it was very good, but this is not what this post is about.]

So anyway, Frozen 2 is a total mess. 

Visually it’s wonderful, and the sisters look different (slightly), and parents have some sort of personalities, which still makes their Else-related decision strange and shitty parenting. We all agreed it was after the first film, but I’m going to return to this pint later.  

There are two major themes going to through the plot, the first one just bashing you head-first from the very beginning, while the other follows... two minutes later. The thing with these two themes is: the first one is the most foreseeable plot twist of all time, especially if you consider this film as a product of our current social climate, while the second one, while kinda the continuation of Elsa’s “Let it go” character arc, takes this arc to some very very far-fetched OP level, that at some point you really have to sit back and force yourself to suspend the disbelief of “Elsa, the most Magical Girl of them all”. 

It’s honestly a shame. Because these core themes are not the worst. There are a lot of element to them that the film introduces that are good, and could work, EXCEPT the film either does nothing with them, or tries to underplay them as something mysterious and strange which... they kinda don’t feel like. 

All of these problems stream from one massive misgiving the film has, and it’s that the film doesn’t clearly know who it is for. It tries to play the card of “kids who watched the first movie will come to see this one, so this film is for them”, but what was supposed to be a step forward, somehow became two steps back. The theme A will not engage adults, because adults will see through it in 5 seconds and the final outcome of it will be the only thing acceptable as an outcome (within the current cultural climate, as I mentioned before), while at the same time it will not work for kids, because they will, quite frankly, not give single fuck about it. They will giggle at Olaf and his questionable shenanigans, that will pop up at random times during the film, kinda stalling the plot - no, let me correct myself. Kids will engage with Olaf’s slap-stick, and... nothing else. I wish I could not say that, but I sat in the movie theatre packed with kids, and this is what I saw and heard. When the kid on the seat before me (6-7 yo) during one of the most emotional parts of the film replied to Anna’s “what am I going to do now?” with “nothing”, it dawned upon me that the message did not connect. 

I personally had to pause myself several times during the showing, just to ask myself: What the actual hell am I watching?

And then we come to theme B. I heard in one of the reviews that this film would have been a much better, more engaging film if the creators made it Just Elsa’s Story. Both themes could have been included, but the emphasis wold have been solidly of theme B and Elsa, and how we, as audience, would experience this whole process with her, and I agree. Not that it would have been completely awesome for younger kids, because the concept of it flies a bit over their age group, but it would have been interesting for Elsa stans, and as a general themes of the movie. 

But this universe is not just about Elsa. It has Anna as well. And this movie does Anna a huge disservice. I’m not even going to talk about Kristoff. That was just... sad. So very sad, and pointless, and every time their interactions came on screen I had to stuff down my second-hand embarassment and marvel at how this relationship is not ready for what the film wants it to be and how can you mess up the intriguing chemistry that they started to in the first film. (Also, if you actually like the whole Kristoff in the Woods music video, but somehow ever said anything bad about Strange Magic, you are on my problematic list. I’m not fucking around.) But Anna - she was a decent character, and humanly believable, and now she is... in this movie. This is Elsa Movie and Anna is... also in it. (Unlike Kristoff.) Wow.

But the strangest thing about this movie is that with both themes A and B combined, we encounter a dilemma that overruns both of them, and in many ways, renders them null. It came to my attention when some young dad behind me muttered half-way “Can you believe these two run a kingdom?”, and I had a revelation. They DO run a kingdom. And the narrative “call to action” is kingdom-related, except it’s not, because it’s Elsa related. And Theme B is kingdom-related, except it’s not, it’s past related. It’s a question of responsibility, except somehow all of this responsibility is not about the Now. The characters feel the need to fix what was done before them, to discover what was before them, while literally abandoning the present for the past. The one time when the stakes are actually raised, ONE TIME in the whole movie when you have to actually worry, I was seriously more concerned about how the whole of the kingdom is.... I can’t explain it without spoilers, but when the ruler has to chose between the mistakes of the past and the preservation of the current, I’m honestly fucking worried about the kingdom and the people living in it, and maybe Anna and Elsa should not be fucking rulers. I’m just saying. 

But even that is, this one stake... is flushed down the drain. The resolution of the film feels rushed and jumbled, and most importantly, Nothing is Lost. I had to sit and watch in awe at how Zero Sacrifices were made. The characters make a right moral choice therefore there will be no bad consequences. What the actual fuck. For a film that makes us wonder about who we are and now we make major decisions, it offers no serious outcomes to these decisions. And this is why it’s two steps back. 

First movie made it clear that Letting it Go is not just about your personal freedom, but also about stepping out of comfort zone to embrace who you are and what is important. It made it clear that personal relationships are not straight forward, and take time and work and communication. 

And it feels like this sequel kinda spit in the face of all these ideas. The characters now do whatever they want, and in the way, especially in application to Anna and Elsa, repeat the very same mistakes their parents did, except it’s now somehow a good thing. Because everything works out in the end because magic. 

Oh, fuck off. 

[hogwartsmc]

Everyone hates the rat.

Friendship drabble.

(My mc's name is Lucie so i'll be using it here to simplify things. She's also a Hufflepuff.)

--------------------------------------------------

-You think he's dead? Penny asked

-I hope not. Replied Lucie.

-I hope it is.

-Bill! She exclaimed. That's your little brother's pet!

-So? I have a bad feeling about this rat.

-Wasn't it originally yours? Penny pointed out.

-Well yeah, but there's a reason i gave it to Charlie!

-Gave me what? Asked Charlie, sitting down next to his brother, his arms full of books.

-Scabbers.

Charlie scrunched up his face.

-I usually don't mind hand-me downs but that one...

-But why? Asked Lucie.

-He's just creepy.

-He does give off a weird vibe. Penny conceded.

They all looked down at the space between them where scabber's inanimate form was laying. Charlie suddenly realised what it was and yelped.

-You killed it? How?

-How? Penny exclaimed. What do you mean "How"?

-It's a rat, it's not supposed to live longer than 3-4 years. He's surprisingly tenacious. ... Well was.

-We found it like that. Said Bill. I don't like the rat but i'm not cruel.

Charlie shrugged, more concerned by his notes than the dead rat.

-Percy's going to be sad. He finally added.

-We can get him a rat from the dungeons. Lucie offered.

They all looked at her as if she was crazy. But none had the time to point out all the reasons why this was a bad idea, because Rowan, Ben and Andre had appeared. Joining the circle, Ben let out a terrified scream when he saw the rat.

-Is it dead? Or are you guys doing some sort of twisted ritual? Andre asked, an eyebrow cocked.

-It appears to be dead. Penny sighed. But we're not sure so we don't know what to do about it.

-Oh Andre! Ready to get your ass beaten saturday?! Grinned Charlie.

-Woah! Over the corpse of your brother's pet? Lucie said, chocked.

-He would want me to celebrate life. He said in feigned sadness.

-Doesn't matter, you're joining the rat soon Charlie. Andre teased.

-Did you guys even finish the essay due monday for history of magic? Rowan inquired as she was patting Ben on the back.

-Totally did. They answered in synch.

-Good. Now i only have to make sure Tulip and Tonks did too.

-Don't forget Barnaby! Lucie reminded her.

-Already helped him write it. Rowan grinned.

-You're a gem, Rowan. Bill complimented her, and making her blush.

-Yo losers! Tonks greeted as she threw a bag full of candy to her friends.

-No! They all screamed as she missed her shot and all the candy came spilling out on the dead rat.

Tulip who'd arrived at the same time, stared at the pile of candy with soulless eyes.

-That was my candy. She said dully.

-I'm so sorry! Tonks said.

She bent down to pick them up but stopped when she saw the rat.

-The hell is that?!

-Percy's rat. Ben moaned. It's dead.

-NO! She cried out. THE CANDY'S RUINED!

Lucie patted her arm in a comforting manner and Tonks just sighed as she plopped down next to her.

-Where's Barnaby? Asked Tulip. I need his help for something.

-Can you at least pretend you're not plotting to destroy the school when i'm there? I'm sort of supposed to not let you do that. Bill sighed.

-Sounds like your problem Weasley. She said with a cunning smile.

-If you could do whatever it is that you're gonna do in two days, that'd be cool. Charlie said.

Bill shot an aggravated look to his brother.

-You're not sneaking to the forest again, are you?

-Lucie's going to sneak into the library. He shrugged.

They all turned to her. Bill giving her a disapproving look.

-It's for Rowan, she needs something in the restricted section!

-Woah Rowan, i'm impressed. Tulip said appreciatively.

-I just want to get some advance on the cursus. Rowan said, embarassed. Lucie insisted on going!

-Way to bite the hand that feeds you!

-I'm the one feeding you! Retorted Rowan. You love to break the rules, you just don't want to admit it!

-I never said i didn't! And Charlie you're gonna pay for that.

-I don't have money but i can give you Scabbers. He said with a smirk.

-Ew, no way!

-I can take him.

They all stared at Tulip in disbelief. The hell was she going on about this time?

-There's some experiments i need to do for a prank and i'm not doing it on Dennis.

-Who's Dennis? Ben asked, alarmed.

-My frog. Tulip said, scandalised. How dare you call yourself my friend when you don't know her!

-Her?

-Well yeah, Dennis is a girl! She rolled her eyes. So can i have the corpse?

-Sure. Said Bill.

-Yeah but we should let Percy say goodbye first.

-Charlie, he doesn't care that much.

-I think he does. Lucie intervened. The other day, he made me leave the couch i was sitting on because it was "scabber's place".

-I think that's because he doesn't like you more than it's about the rat. Ben said apologetically.

-And you weren't supposed to be there as it was our common room. Bill said with a smile.

-Fine. Just dissect the damn rat then!

-Yes!

Tulip reached for the rat and let out a pained scream when he suddenly rose and bit her finger.

They all stood there in silence, watching the rodent hurry away in the grass.

-You might want to go get that checked. Tonks finally said. These creatures carry nasty diseases.

Ben yelped at that and got up, running to the castle. Once again, they were left speechless.

-I'm just gonna go ahead and pretend this whole exchange never happened. Penny said.

They all nodded in agreement. The afternoon was beautiful and they had better things to do than to worry about the rat.

- Damn do i hate that rat! Andre suddenly let out

And they all had to agree.

The end.

(I wrote this on the train and it's kind of garbage but i had fun so it's all right 😚 Hope you enjoyed it at least)

[marvelsuperfangirl]

Double-Date ( Alex Summers x Reader)

It’s been a long time since I wrote something with Alex and I started to miss him. So here he is!

Words: 2746

Warnings: Gross make out session ( I don’t think it’s really a warning but...)

You really liked Jean and Scott but right at the moment you weren't so sure. They insisted that you joined them on one of their dates.They tried to convince you with sentences like:" You need to go out and see the world and meet new people, Y/N" or " Love is waiting for you out there”. At first you said no because the idea of third wheeling was extremely unappealing to you and you already knew that it was going to be embarrassing. Then they got out their secret weapon and told you that they found you a date which you answer to with " Absolutely not!"

But Jean insisted and harrassed you, presenting you all the perks of the guy they wanted you to meet. And you end up accepting at the condition that you could leave whenever ou wanted.

The night of your double date, you made the smallest effort by just putting on mascara and lipstick to add a bit to your usual outfit. You got a telepathic message from Jean, telling you that Scoot and her were waiting for you and that your maybe future husband was impatient to meet you.

You sigh but still left your roomto join your friends and the guy you'll have to tolerate during the whole evening.

When you arrived in the lobby of the mansion you were met by Jean, Scott and Alex.

" Hey guys!" you greeted them.

You then turned to Alex.

" Are you to give them one of the adults talk and their bedtime?" you joked

-" Not exactly" he said putting his hands in his pockets.

" So, where is my , as you said, future husband?" you asked Jean

She looked embarassed and she looked at her boyfriend for help but didn't receive any.

" Hum..." she said

" I'm right there wifey"

You turned around again and your gaze settled on Alex and looked back at Jean to give her a death glare.

" You set me up with Alex?!"

She knew that you found the older Summers super cute and that you wouldn't  say no to spending some time with him. Yo uwere already close to each other so it was going to be a good night.

To prevent the situation to become more embarrassing than it already was Scott decided to do something.

" Let's go guys, I'm starving"  he said as he linked Jean's arm with his own.

The four of you walked out of the mansion and to the car, Alex was walking next to you and you couldn't resist to watch him from the corner of your eyes.

" At least they didn't bring me some asshole" you said

He chuckled

" I wouldn't even think of acting like one in presence of my future wife" he said before winking at you.

" Shut up!" you hissed looking somewhere else to hide your blushing cheeks from him.

Alex chuckled and the four of you just got into the car and left off to the night's destination.

The boys had gone take the food while you girls, were sitting together at the table.

" So you aren't living ?" Jean asked, smirking at you.

" I can stay for a little while longer. This date is not that horrible." you said quickly glancing at Alex.

" Or you like him a lot"

-" Well, he's cute, kind, funny and I already know that we have things in common."

" AH-AH!" she exclaimed, earing herself stares from the clients around the two of you.

" You're in love with him."

You looked again at where the boys were. Alex was laughing along with his brother. A strand of his sandy hair fell in front if his face and he pushed it back with his hand. With that movement you had the occasion to see the muscle of his arm as he flexed it .

" Maybe a little."you admit.

" I am sure he likes you too. It's maybe fate that brought the two of you here tonight. Alex is your future husband, I'm sure of it!"

You rolled your eyes.

" This is not fate that brought me here but two annoying teenagers"

You tried to keep a straight face but soon erupted in laughter, soon followed by Jean.

" What got you cackling like that girls?" the voice of Alex interrupted you.

The Summers brothers were back; they put the trays of food they were carrying on the table and sat back at their designated places, Jean and Scott next to each other and Alex next to you.

From an outsider's point of view, it could have looked like a double date. But the behaviour of the two teenagers you were " chaperoning " were all over each other. Pressing quick kisses on each other's cheeks, laughing at the other's stupid joke or touching each others like the young lovers that they were.

Alex and you were watching the scene before you with embarrassed faces and an awkward atmosphere settled over the two of you as you tried not to glance at the youngsters.

" Is it because they're young or are all couples like that ?"

Alex glanced quickly at his brother and his girlfriend then back to you.

" Love is a weird thing" he said, shrugging his shoulder and continue to eat, still trying not to look at the couple who just started to mix their saliva in a passionate french kiss.

" I would have say gross but weird is good too" you answered, your eyes fixed on their mouthes which worked against each other's and the bit of tongue you caught glimpses of.

As Alex glanced up to what you were looking at he also looked at your scrunch up face and set down what he was eating and cleaned his hands with a paper towel.

" You know what, let's go and have our own date, without all that loved dovey disgusting stuff." he told you, getting up and offering his hand for you to take.

You took another quick glance to your friends whose mouthes ere still glued together and you wondered how they could still be alive after spendign all this time like this without breathing.

You took Alex's hand and followed him away from Jean and Scott.

You left the restaurant and turned to see that Jean and Scott were still sucking each other's faces and probably didn't notice the two of you leaving.

The two of you kept your hands linked as you walked through the streets of Westchester, spending some time with Alex was pleasant, especially with no couples to rub their happiness in your face.

" You know, sometimes I really wonder how Scott can be my brother, seeing him trying to devour the poor Jean was extremely awkward. "

You scoffed.

" Please don't tell me you never furiously made out with a girl in your younger years" you said with a raised eyebrow.

" Pfff, me? Never, I'm the best example of a gentleman. Delicate kisses ,I can give but licking my partner's throat, never in the my wildest dream."

You rolled your eyes and chuckled.

" Weren't you the one who were a rebel as a teenager, I'm sure there was a few snogging session with girls behind the bleachers "

Alex thought back about his life before he discovered his powers and hell yeah did he make out with many girls  in highschool. It wasn't taht hard for him, he'd always attract the eyes of girls and he used it to his advantage. But when his true nature kicked in, despite all his tries to get those girls back in his arms or even get new ones, nobody wanted to deal with a mutant.

Now his appearance wasn't enough even the most beautiful monster is still a monster.

" Yeah....You're right" he let out a little bit of sadness in his voice

He almost stopped there but he realized that i was probably the only occasion he would enough courage to make you change your mind about him and show you that he wasn’t the lady’s man he seemed to be.

“ But I didn’t have anything with these girls, you know. There were just flirts not girlfriends, like I’d like to have now…Because I changed from who I was before, since my mutation kicked in.”

His eyes fell to the ground as yours were fixed on him, guilt and sadness slowly filled you, you regretted to have spoken of his past.

“ I’m sorry, Alex, if I knew itw as a sensible topic, I wouldn’t have bring it up “ you apologized. You placed your hands on his cheeks and titled his head up to face you.

“ Listen, let’s not think about the past and live the present, okay ?”

Alex managed to give you a small smile and nodded positively at your question.

“Great ! I know the perfect place where we have zero chance to be bothered by couples showing off their disgusting love”  you said, grabbing and tugging on his hand to lead him away.

Alex’s grip on your hand tightened as the happiness completely washed his previous sadness away.

“ Mind telling me where we are going ? ”

“ You’ll see ”

The pair of you arrived at your destination a few minutes later.

“ Manor Park ? ”  Alex asked, his eyebrows raised

“ It’s the perfect spot, there’s a rock beach where we can sit and watch the sea. And since it’s night, i twill be just the two of us.”

You didn’t let him the time to answer and grabbed him by the arm to drag him in the park. The two of you walked through the gates and made your way to the precise part of the park where you wanted to go.

As you told him the park slowly transformed from the green landscape to a rocky one, ending in a pebble beach to the ocean.

You let go of Alex’s arm and walked on the rocky beach and got closer to the waves licking the pebbles and sat down at a reasonnable distance to be sure not to get wet.The rocks were cold but you surely could suffer from a frozen butt to spend some time with Alex.

The blond followed your moves and settled beside you and you looked over at him.

“ Do you think Scott and Jean noticed that we left ? ”

“ The question you should ask yourself is : did they part from each other at least once to regain their breath, since we left ? ”

Both of you laughed and after a few moments, you let the silence of the night settle back among the two of you.

“ You know, since we’re alone we could…you know…”  he shrugged as if his request wouldn’t be that important. “ make out ”.

You quickly turned to him after hearing the words leaving his mouth. You were grateful that it was dark so Alex wouldn’t notice your blushing cheeks.

“ Alex Summers ! Did you make me leave this awkward double date to go suck each other’s faces in the dark ? ” you asked with a playful but accusatory tone.

And even in the dark you saw his cheeks flame up.

“To be honest, I »m absolutely not against the idea but in the first place itw as mostly to escape my brother’s and his girlfriend’s public and without shame display of affection.”

Yo udidn’t find anything to answer and simply resumed to look at him silently.

He was sitting with his legs bent in front of him, arms resting on his knees as he looked in the distance. The sea was almsot impossible to see if it wasn’t for the little shiny dots the reflects of the moonlight was creating on its surface. Instead of watching the attractive scenery you thought the man beside you was more appealing to look at.

Under the moonlight, Alex’s hair that were usually golden, took a silver reflect. And this only source of light was creating shadows on his face that made him look unreal.

It was like a painted representation of a man that was so handsome he could never be real. But there he was, as real as you were and now his eyes were meeting yours, and ou knew you’ve been caught in the act.

“ What are you looking at ? ” he asked, mischief evident in his voice. He clearly knew you were mesmerized by his beauty. Well, he didn’t really knew it but, after all, you were checking him out.

“ I’m just thinking” you said, offering him a shy smile and turning back toward the sea.

“ About how perfect I am ? ” 

You rolled your eyes and didn’t look at him, you wouldn’t give him the pleasure of seeing your flustered because of him.

“ I think you’re quite stunning yourself, not as much as I am of course ”

You chuckled at his words.

“ You’re so full of yourself, Alex ! ” you retorqued, just giving him a quick glance.

After the both of you laughed, thesilence settled again, the noise of the waves slowly crashing against the pebbles were soothing you. The salty  smell of the water made you think about how great it would be to have a vacation just with Alex.

You got pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of stirring, you looked at Alex that was currently laying himself down, his back resting on the pebbles and looking up at the night sky.

He felt your eyes on him and slightly moved his head to meet your eyes.

“ Wanna join ? ” he asked

You shrugged your shoulders and leaned back, ready to feel the coldness of the rocks against your back but an arm snaked around you and pulled you against a body.

“ I don’t want you to be cold ” Alex said tucking you against his chest, his arm still securely wrapped around you.

You blushed again at this words and tried not to put so much into them and decided to just enjoy the feeling of the fresh ocean air and the warmth provided by Alex.

As you laid your head on his chest, you could feel something, a feeling of being observed. Furrowing your eyebrows, you looked up at the blonde and found him already staring at you.

“ Stalker much ” you chuckled.

And went down to laying on him.

“ You know, my proposition is still up if you… you want to ”

Without a warning of any kind, he’s planting a kiss on your forehead, letting hi slips lingered there for a moment. This caused an umpteenth blush to erupt on your face and you’d had the feeling that it wasn’t going to be the last time Alex would be the reason behind your blushing.

You looked up again, both of your eyes were connected to each other’s and the next thing  you know, you’re kissing  Alex Summers. After a simple, chaste kiss, lips started moving frantically against each other and his free hand moved to cup your cheeks to tilt your head up and make your mouth more accessible due to your position. One of your hand was gripping the material of his shirt while the other moved to his neck, appreciating the feeling of his skin against your palm, then moved to his hair.

It wasn’t like you wanted to part away but you both had to, if you didn’t wanted to suffocate. Breathless and with your head spinning from too muche motions at once, you collapsed back on his chest and tried to regain your breathing. His chest was heaving quickly under your head and you knew he was in a similar state than yours.

“ Oh god ! We’ve been contaminated by Jean and Scott ” you said with a fake horrified tone which was contradicted by the huge smile on your face.

Alex shrugged and he leaned his head on yours.

“ I like that kind of disease ” he said before reconnecting his lips to yours, pulling you on top of him.

You really needed to thank Jean for this amazing double-date, the next time you would see her.

[tumblunni]

MORE UPDATES ON THINGS WHAT HAPPEN

The half week milestone of the hospital house thingie time! I think the term they use for it is "a residential stay"? Cos like its not a hospital its a shared housing block thats just full of doctors. I get to sleep in a real bed and there's a nice community room and board game nights and stuff. But its still really scary how intense the supervision can be! Like they have a window to look into your room once per hour every hour constantly. And they have to go through your undies and catalog them as part of the possessions check. I was not warned about that and it was mega embarassing trying to explain a binder to a bunch of old lady doctors! Oh and i had yo do a urine test today which was possibly the most fuckin embarassing thing in the actual universe. And you're not even allowed to take your own pills! They keep them locked in a big ominous wall of lockers and you have to come into the office and swallow the pill while theyre watching. I guess maybe because some people might be faking their illness and selling their pills on the black market or whatever? But that literally doesnt happen with antidepressants, they have no 'high' or even any effect at all on non-sick people. So it just makes no sense to me and its real embarassing cos like i said i suck at taking pills with plain water and without a straw. The ones i take are real damn chunky things the size of my thumbnail! I think i'l get better at not (literally) choking under pressure over time, tho. Hopefully.

Anyway that's all the bad out of the way! Now the good and the neutral and the just miscellaneous!

Its still nervewracking having to shower in a shared house but they have a cool walk-in shower and ive never tried one of those so it was vaguely interesting. And im allowed to take my showers early at 6am to minimize the chance of anyone else trying to use the door, lol. My biggest fear is having some staff member walk in on me when im naked like back in that homeless hostel. Oh or that time in the homeless hostel where the teenage boys filled the entire bathroom with inflated condoms wall to wall. Like wow so much damn effort to prank the stupid nervous bunni who probably would have been embarassed by literally anything else. Man this place is bringing so many memories of that homeless hostel but at least this time its a place specifically for sick people and they know i'm anxious doing shared cooking and board games and whatever so they dont make fun of me for it. But in a lot of ways that hostel had more freedoms too.. *shrug*

Anyway! A good! I get to have cooking lesson!! I know literally nothing about cooking and now i get to know several thing!! This nice doctor called Josie taught me how to make an omelette and i tasted ham for the first time! That is just how limited my life experiences are, lol. Oh and they want me to say that she's a 'mental health worker' not a doctor, but its all real confusing?? Like they have the staff that look after you and then the only ones we're supposed to call doctors are the ones who actually have the authority to prescribe pills and diagnosies. But like if youre in a hospital you'd call them all doctors, not just the actual surgeon? Or i guess theyre kinda like nursing home staff?? But they cant be support workers cos support workers are specific government assigned inspector type guys like Richard who only meet with you once a week.and i have to remember to not call him a social worker either cos social workers only work with family and custody related stuff. I dunno?? Basically the medical industry has a lot of names that dont really describe what the actual thing is, lol. Anyway the ham omelette was great and now im gonna try and remember so i can try and make it myself next time! HAM ACCOMPLISHED

Also i played bingo with a few other patients and it was fun but funny that i lost 6 times in a row when there were only 3 of us. I got a consolation prize of a pack of neon highlighter pens so hell yeah!!

I'm getting booked in to try some additional classes starting next week on monday and tuesday morning. The computer programming one was sadly unavailable, but i managed tp snag a place in "confidence building group therapy" and "basic how to use power tools". I wasnt really all that interested in that one but i thought it would be a useful skill even if its less fun. And maybe you get to actyally make something to take home at the end? A lil shelf to help organize this awkward lil room better, maybe?

And an unexpected bonus of being semi-hospitalized is that i get a free bus pass! And cos im here cos of my social anxiety theyre gonna help me get outside more and actually use this thing to the fullest! The first thing we did was the trip to actually get the bus pass itself. It was like "bus, take my money to take me to the place where i can never give you money again!" XD Ive been really stupidly nervous about going on tne bus in my old neighbourhood cos MAN it was really isolated there and everything just amplified my mental illness. An almost two hour bus ride to get to ANY SHOPS AT ALL, with only one bus for the whole town so it was always crowded and full of screaming kids and gossipy everyones. Social anxiety: maximum level proud mode!

So yeah i feel BIG ACCONPLISHED! I was able to take this bus for the first time with a doctor coming with me. Power Grandpa The Strong. His actual name is Paul and he has awesome sleeve tattoos of like anchors and dragons and sports teams and stuff! And he likes thrift stores and wearing silly hats too! Its like he's powerful enough to wrestle away everyone's anxieties! I was able to be a bit reckless too and i went out wearing my fave shirt thats like trans pride coloured plaid. A POWERFUL SHIRT IS REQUIRED FOR THIS QUEST! so we went to the office to register this bus pass and i panicked a bit cos apparantky we brought the wrong form and i wrote my name in the wrong box and then my passport photo looked terrible and aaa! But it all worked out and i was kinda freaking out for nothing. And he took me for a lil tour of the place and showed me this cool shop that does spray paint tye dye t shirts with spiderman on them?? Why does this incredibly specific shop exist and how have i never heard of it before?? There was also a new harry potter shop next to the disney shop, and the old used book store i used to visit as a kid was still there, complete with rickety spiral staircase and ominous basement trap door. I'm still not brave enough to go down there, but apparantly its just the history books section so meh. Then we actually went to a fancy coffee shop and i had this brain freeze mango ice frappucchino thing! Im trying all the new foods!!

And i was TOO HIGH ON DECADENCE and made a RECKLESS CHOICE! i blame power gramp's amazing tattoos, they were totally whispering to me that i shoukd screw the rules and ride off into the sunset on a metaphorical harley davidsen of mental health

So i was like Hey Paul I Am Totally Fine Getting Home On My Own, and it was like i was floating off in the distance somewhere begging my body to not speaketh these words. But it ended up working out okay! The excitement of it all and the sense of accomplishmebt from getting there all okay allowed me to mostly not freak out as i spent the day in town and looked at some shops and stuff. Basic Living Skills: Completed! I chilled out in the library (tho i dont have a card yet, alas!) and visited like five comic and anime stores, and got lost but found a Pizza Hut and that was SO NOSTALGIC FOR MY CHILDHOOD and it didnt taste quite as good as i remembered but the waiter guy was super nice and had a similar shirt and it was All Good! Oh and i gave all my money to a homeless person and that's why i'm broke now. And i bought a plastic slug! I just saw it from across the room and was like OH NO I AM BEING MAGNETISED TOWARDS IT OH NO IT HAS ALREADY BEEN BOUGHT. I need to think of a name for this new friend!!

So yeh i got home okay and i felt really acconplished and that was the furthest trip away that i've taken in ages! Man my mental illness makes me feel pathetic, but it also brings ridiculously big joys from the smallest of silly acconplishys!

Oh and thank you so much to the people who sent me emails! It really helped so much to keep me from giving up during the first few days before i made a bit of progress and felt like i could really do this, yknow? Especially big thanks tp the friend who sent me that mysterious super happy song that they found on a mystery disc in a german market?? Im still not sure whether its in greek or hasidic jewish but it sounds AMAZING and i hope someday i can figure out the band so i can hear their other singles!

Ok this is bunni out! BIG HUGS FOR THE EVERYONE AAAA

[sunrisedriven]

3-16

Times like this, I probably would have cried to my wit’s end.

Today, it’s just a few tears, and a Korean drama is playing in the background.

Maybe it’s because my roommate is on the other side of the room, in bed, cruising through, and it’s just plain embarassing.

Maybe it’s because I have gotten used to it. Things don’t always work out or go your way. That’s a given. That’s life. It doesn’t mean you should give up and it sure as hell does not mean God hates your guts. The enemy can seriously be a fucking asshole, like- stfu, I’m trying to love you as much as I can, you lucky hoe. And I am this close to hating people, but a part of me knows I shouldn’t. That’s not what God intends for me. Maybe that’s why it doesn’t get to me like it used to. Power to God. It’s the kind of love I wish you will know someday.

The pain drilled it into my bones. I’m being disciplined right now, I should know. The only glaring difference is the fact that I swear like a sailor now and I read the Bible everyday. No worries, it sure is better than doing or thinking of the stupid shit I did last year. Damn was I such a sore loser. Not today, moddafucker. Already prayed for forgiveness, may I never waddle in those stank waters ever again.

Today, I’m flying by. Life will be okay. I’m a smartass, and the world will know. I will make it, I’m also badass and sweet, but the world doesn’t deserve all of it. I love you, but fuck you.

Now, let’s carry on. Some people are real pieces of shit. Some people actually work hard and damn do I work hard. I know what I want, I know who I am, and I know what I don’t want to be. I muddaeffin tried, that’s a step forward. Yeah, I wasted my time on idolizing stupid people. Yeah, I wasted my time trying to idolize myself and fit in. Some things went south, some things went north, and some memories lost value. I made memories hoping you would remember, only to see you forget everything and now I’m left alone remembering and boy do they haunt the fuck out of me. Nowadays, I’m too tired for that shit. That whole “I wanna be remembered” shit. Tf, I should be remembered regardless of what I do. If my purpose is to be forgotten, well then damn, I hope it’s a good one and a good lesson for everyone else while it’s at it. So, do I wanna waste my time today? No sir, no ma’am.

When shit hits the fan, you do know that it hits you too, right? Even if it’s just a droplet of poo, it will hit you- it’s science...if flu goes around because of respiratory droplets, this wind induced by an electric fan will hurl aaaaaall the way there, over there, and all over us. Imagine losing a colleague who could have cured cancer twenty years from now...

Damn. That shit hurts, bro. Think about losing someone special to a disease because you cancelled someone like me, who could’ve treated them with the cure. You know what happened to some sore losers? They unpacked their shit and became your boss because they are soldiers. Fight, fight, fight.

Some of y’all really just had to be pompous-ass bitches. And not gonna lie, some of you losers never left the pity party. I just got out. Seriously, quit that shit. You are muddafuckin precious. The hell do they teach in school nowadays?! You will make it. If the party-goers make it, you will, too. If the lazy asses with connections make it, hustle and squash those roaches.

ANYWAY. Don’t worry, this is just a release. I still know my grammar and I know what bad cursing is.

Phew. I still love y’all. But damn, learn to love people too, fam. I am way too nice, and I can’t believe I let some of your bullshit pass me. I have my own, but you don’t see it flying all over your plate.

Also, to all you stank-ass people out there, there will be a day when you will know of a love from our God and it will make you cry like no other because you wish you knew better.

In this world, best revenge is your paper. Imma get my paper and live a happy life. My dreams are both big and simple. They don’t drown me, you drown me. So I get it, imma love you, but there will be times when you need to get out of the way, so give me a break and moooooooove. Or get your act straight, we can be in this together, you know?

In my world, best cure is my Father, let me introduce Him to you for one real sec. Oh wait. He sent His son, who swooped in and carried the cross for our sorry sinful asses. That shit crazy? That’s God, yo.

That’s God, your father. The one who is often, tragically, forgotten, so many times, by us all. Ain’t about that life today, tho. I am no loser, I am my Father’s daughter. Peace be with you, loser. Know God, I pray you do.

[photosynthesizingparkhyungsik]

Tagged by my fellow drama lover @ki-hyunie, thanks! ^^

Top 10 girl group songs: 

Omg this is so embarassing but I barely listen to girl groups so I really can’t make a list I’m sorry. I’m always ready to try new things though so if there are some groups or songs you want to recommend, please do!!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5’7’’ or taller (I had to convert this to centimetres lol)

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined (lol I’m a potato what do you expect)

I have or had braces

There is something I would change about the way I look (clear skin is all i ask for)

PERSONALITY:

My Hogwarts House is: Gryffindor / Hufflepuff / Ravenclaw / Slytherin 

I am an introvert (sometimes, depends on my mood tbh)

I like meeting new people

People tell me I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges (everything that involves physical activity is hell)

I enjoy mental challenges (I used to, now I’m lazy af)

I’m playfully rude to people that I’m close to (depends on the person)

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it (omg yes, a friend and I started greeting each other with “yo” as a joke and now I can’t stop using “yo” as a greeting)

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well (if making whale noises counts as singing)

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (I am a potato for god’s sake)

I’m a fast runner (have you ever seen a potato with good legs)

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least two people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook three meals from scratch (if it involves pasta, yes)

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m (was) on a sports team at my school or somewhere else (ballet does count right)

I’m (was) in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

Fandoms are my number one priority

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss (but if a kiss in the sandbox at the age of 5 counts then yes)

I have had alcohol (but I don’t like it)

I have scored the winning goal in a game

I have watched an entire season of a tv show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts (*cries*)

RELATIONSHIP:

I’m in a relationship (I do have two wifes but nothing really serious)

I have a celebrity crush (if my url doesn’t give it away IT’S PARK HYUNGSIK THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN THAT HAS EVER LIVED)

I have a crush on someone I know (sort of, a friend has been acting more intimate recently and I can’t say I dislike it lol, there’s nothing more though)

I have been in at least three relationships

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings for them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year (when I was younger my crushes were pretty intense haha)

I have been in a relationship for over a year

I have had feelings for a friend (like I said, nothing serious but just appreciating their excistence)

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a best friend

I live close to my school (I do but I don’t, it’s hard to explain)

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the united states

There is snow right now where i live

I have hung out with a friend from school in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with someone

RANDOM:

I have break danced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that is hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair (BUT I’M GOING TO AFGSKL I’M SO EXCITED)

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages fluently (not completely fluent but as good as)

I have made a friend in the past year (I’m really grateful for all the awesome people I met and hope to meet more)

I tag:

Ah who should I tag, I don’t know xD I’m tagging @stan-the-best-stan-monsta-x anyhow haha and as I’m having a few mutuals I don’t talk to but they seem really nice and I might get to know them a bit better through this game, I’m tagging @reihyung and @letmeknow-tomorrow (you don’t have to participate if you don’t feel comfortable of course :D)

[turntechheartthrob-blog]

` Oversharing Asks ;

`{ I’m putting these under a read more for several reasons. One, there’s fifty eight of these questions and two some of them are triggering. TW/CW for suicide, self harm, cheating, and mentions of death. Read at your own risk. }

1.       Who hurt you the most?

sigh look i feel like plenty of peeps already know the answer to this but for those of you in the back who aint quite got the memo yet my bro dude wasnt exactly the epitome of perfection or anythin not like anyone is but eh i aint goin into detail dont feel like it

2.       Who have you hurt the most?

this is really hard for me ta answer cause i aint really sure kinda hopin i aint hurt anyone i cared bout but shit happens i make mistakes i aint perfect gods aint perfect either

3.       Who do you miss the most?

yo now this one is pretty fucked up but  really miss the shit out of my bro even though the thoughta bumpin into him really freaks me the hell out im a complicated guy maybe im just hopin we can clear the air

4.       Who do you want out of your life the most?

people who keep trynna hold me an my pals back from settin this new world up like we been fightin for years we lost some an got some gods deserve breaks too ya know an it aint like i always been one just leave us the hell alone  go fuck with another world this ones ours

5.       Who had the biggest positive impact on you?

rose  shes always there ta listen an she aint ever dished out any judgement my way (not anythin that really hurt me anyway shes harsh but shes speakin the truth yknow)

6.       Who had the biggest negative impact on you?

7.       Who do you wish you could be honest with?

my bro but fuck if i aint real frazzled when it comes ta shit with him maybe in the future i can work my shit out an say what needs ta be said 

8.       Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings towards?

wow would ya look at that hopped my ass back in time again zippity zap aint no response to this question here

9.       Who would the world be better off without?

puppets fuckin puppets man fuck puppets an no not literally fuck outta here with that shit

10.   Who do you wish you’d treated differently?

bro

11.   What was the worst day of your life?

that one birthday reckon it was my eleventh bro an i went up on the roof for a fuckin strife an thats where i got that real bad scar its bout six inches long an it runs down my right shoulder blade shit was so not fuckin cash hurt real bad an i thought i was gonna fuckin bleed ta death

12.   What’s your greatest fear?

losin all my friends an fuckin our chances up in this new world too 

13.   What’s your biggest insecurity?

not bein the hero i really wanna be i reckon like not bein able to save my friends cause i aint strong enough 

14.   What’s your biggest regret?

lemme get back to ya on that one i aint really sure dont wanna dig round an try an find it either might really eat me up if i do hope ya understand 

15.   Describe your ideal world.

aight im kinda livin in it but itd be a shitton more ideal if all my pals were here kinda worried bout most of em aint seen the ones from my timeline an its got me real paranoid did they make it is there somethin im missin did i die an is this a dream yknow shit like that.... 

16.   Describe your personal hell.

17.   What’s a hopeless dream you’re still holding on to?

i unno if its really hopeless since im pretty much already here but all those years ago i was fuckin terrified an convinced wed be fightin until we couldnt fight anymore yknow stuck in a constant loop of battle after battle hopin wed make it to the next mornin or night alive shit was fuckin terrifyin an i was so convinced that i was gonna be stuck livin that life forever along with everyone else an i didnt want that for em i woulda took all the pain for em yknow lived it all alone if it meant they got out an got ta live again 

18.   What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been?

iunno honestly i pretty much embarass myself on the daily an yer askin for specifics i aint got a specific moment im particularly embarrassed about

19.   What’s the angriest you’ve ever been?

twelfth birthday when i walked right into the fuckin ultimate smuppet trap was just goin ta the bathroom ta shower an brush my teeth an fuckin bam biggest fuckin trap ever thought my arm was broken for a fuckin week 

20.   What’s the saddest you’ve ever been?

thinkin about all this real depression fuckin shit i gotta answer i dunno dont really like gettin lost in my thoughts cause then i start rememberin an diggin up all kindas extra fuckin depression shit that kills me a lil inside 

21.   What’s the most scared you’ve ever been?

when i was eleven an i got the scar i was so fuckin terrified i was gonna die i mean i fuckin passed out an i had some terrifyin dreams too it was just not a good time an i wouldnt do it over again 

22.   What’s the most hopeless you’ve ever felt?

23.   What’s the most frantic you’ve ever felt?

i dont fuckin know sheesh any questions on this thing that aint gonna make me relive terrible shit  my heads killin me

24.   What’s the bravest you’ve ever felt?

when i was able ta save the world i was scared as shit ima be real with you but damn it felt great an i felt great too

25.   What’s the best case scenario for your future?

gettin ta meet up with all my pals from my timeline findin out they were here all along jus waitin for the right time maybe searchin for the best place ta set their cribs up i dunno 

26.   What’s the worst case scenario for you future?

realizin the game aint over 

27.   What’s the most physical pain you’ve ever felt?

lemme take ya back to my eleventh birthday for the third time hurt a lot more than dyin ta get my god powers i can tell ya that much

28.   What’s the most emotional pain you’ve ever felt?

when i found my bros body  i dunno how ta describe it cause it was just a real fucked up time an  it hurt it hurt a whole fuckin lot cause i wanted ta make up with him an hash out my feelins an i thought id never get a chance

29.   Describe a time you felt like a hypocrite.

nothin is really comin ta mind if i dig round enough somethin might but yeah aint really that important anyway

30.   Describe a time you felt like a traitor.

one particular time john an i was fightin this one massive fuckin imp i had to bolt for half a sec cause my sword fuckin bit the dust came back an john was pretty fuckin beat up felt like shit but we made it out 

31.   Describe a time you felt like a hero.

when we got the new place set up i mean not set up but when we fuckin got here an realized yo this is our world an we did it we got this place together an we can live an exist together all normal like without fightin everyday 

32.   Describe a time you felt inhuman.

when i died an came back with my god tier powers reckon it makes sense died a human an came back a god there ya go

33.   Describe a time you felt like a failure.

durin all the fights an shit with bro did my best but physically knockin me down was never enough for him always had ta mentally knock me down too 

34.   What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

i dunno man i just dont fuckin know anymore probably fillin this shit out dishin out all this real personal shit feels kinda like a therapy sesh though kinda like im lettin all this shit off my chest so maybe it aint that bad

35.   What are you proudest of?

bein able to finish the game an set this place up with my pals it it was a fuckin dream come true i didnt think itd ever be possible figured wed be stuck fightin shit for the rest of forever wed be together but i just wanted ta not be fightin i wanted ta breathe an live an feel normal again 

36.   What’s your relationship with your family like?

@earthcvantas @schrodingersweabooeffect were pretty tight got each others backs family that chills together its legit dirk promised ta have dinner with me soon

37.   What’s your relationship with religion like?

i aint got one wouldnt really make sense in my opinion im a god do gods worship gods too i unno i dont really feel like thinkin bout it

38.   Talk about someone you’ve lost.

jade i reckon i aint seen her in fuckin centuries she was one of my besties i really miss the fuck outta here i hope shes aight 

39.   Talk about someone who abandoned you.

 40.   Talk about a desire you have that scares you.

makin peace or whatever with my bro really scares the shit outta me if ima be honest 

41.   What’s something you wish you were capable of?

teachin all my pals to fly cause honestly its rad as hell but i mean cant exactly teach em ta be gods

42.   What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?

lettin my family down anyone is capable of this i aint an exception god or not

43.   Describe the kind of life you wish you’d been born into.

mom an a dad i reckon spoiled with video games an legit tech maybe my own lil lab where i could collect an properly organize all my dead shit birthday parties an maybe a pool out back few pets a dog an a cat maybe a snake love repitles theyre pretty legit if ya ask me

44.   Describe your worst heartbreak.

nah id rather not lol thanks for askin check back again never erased all that shit like it aint ever happened here fixin this shit for a reason bruh

45.   Describe your worst disappointment.

fifteenth birthday hah  instead of spendin chill time with my peeps we were still out fightin didnt get a cake or nothin got to risk my life though shit wasnt cash

46.   Have you ever taken a fall for someone?

all the time its my style i reckon im down to take a fall if its for someone i care about when i really care for ya reckon you could say im self sacrificing id take a bullet for someone if they meant enough ta me like @earthcvantas or @schrodingersweabooeffect dont fuck with my family

47.   Have you ever forced or let someone take a fall for you?

i aint the kinda dude that lets people take falls for me but dirk would prob forcefully take a fall for me if ima be honest with yall hes a real protective dude 

48.   Have you ever done serious physical harm to someone?

few peeps that got in my way durin the game  plenty of imps pretty sure ya get the idea

49.   Have you ever done serious emotional harm to someone?

no i aint an i dont plan on it 

50.   Have you ever self-harmed?

.... look i dont get why people wanna get this kinda drop on me but i have yeah aint done it recently or even in the past three years didnt have the time or the strength ta really muster up for somethin like that dont plan on doin it again

51.   Have you ever attempted suicide?

look i really aint comfortable answerin this one i aint tried it considered it once aint puttin the deets out there cause it aint yer business 

52.   Have you ever stolen something?

bag of doritos when i was fifteen bro snagged ramen from my stash an so i retaliated  

53.   Have you ever cheated on someone?

aint been in a relationship so nah an even if i had been in one i wouldnt have so yeah aint my style 

54.   Have you ever been cheated on?

aint been in a relationship before so nah 

55.   Have you ever taken revenge on someone?

smuppets fuckin smuppets got sick of em always bein everywhere so hah one day i fuckin snuck one an flung it out the fuckin window sayofuckinara bitch 

56.   Have you ever seriously considered killing someone?

plenty of people  but only cause they were in the way of me an my friends gettin what we wanted

57.   Have you ever betrayed someone who trusted you?

i fuckin hope not but yknow what i aint allknowing  so i aint got a fuckin clue

58.   Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable?

aight so buckle the fuck up for this one cause its a wild fuckin ride i unno where the fuck bro was but here i was home alone an misplaced my shades ran into cal an like world jus kinda froze up an it was like i blacked out bro came in all a sudden an handed me my shades an didnt really explain nothin just told me not ta lose em again no fuckin clue what the hell happened there but i never lost my shades again after that

[jlivingston]

Flirting is hard, yo

Upon finding myself single for the first time since my early 20s, I had a ton of “wow...I can do this now” moments.

I can starfish in the middle of the bed, with enough pillows to make Bed, Bath and Beyond positively green with envy.  

I can walk around the house in whatever state of undress that I like.  

I can play video games for endless hours.

I can watch horror movies on *my* tv.

I can eat cookies in bed.

I can *flirt*.  

All of the above items in the list, I did happily and with much success….except….that last one.

Flirting is hard, yo.

I didn't have a normal childhood.  And my teenage years were occupied with my full time job of making my parents as miserable as I possibly could.  So I never really learned how to flirt in the way that other folks learn.  Having had my daughter at the age of 20, my early 20s were also occupied with things learning how to change a diaper, and that kept me from learning as well.  

But when I was facing the possibility of being single again, what I remembered was all the men that would crowd around me all the time.  It was so easy.  All I had to do was show up.  They would smiling and flirt, and ask me for my number….

...what I neglected to remember with those flashbacks is that I was a bartender and they were probably all drunk.

When I left my ex husband to strike out on my own, my daughter came with me.  She made it pretty clear that her intent was to take care of me.  Before long, she decided that I needed a man in my life and she was determined to orchestrate that happening.  At the ripe old age of 16, she had many ideas on how to make mom more successful at flirting.

There was a ridiculously hot (though significantly younger) butcher that worked at the grocery store in the small town that we lived in.  I needed a bib every single time I bought chicken breast.  My daughter decided that I should practice flirting with the hot butcher.  One day, while he was stocking a refrigerator unit with meat - she rambled off a laundry list of “conversation starters”, fluffed my hair, turned me to face him and shoved. 

Now, there are a couple of problems with this particular tactic:  

1. There is no way in hell that I was going to remember that hastily given list on a good day, let alone on a day when I'm nervous.

2. Don't shove a clumsy woman.

3. Especially don't shove a nervous clumsy woman.

When I managed to noisily catch my balance, the hot butcher turned and glanced at me over his shoulder while I simultaneously turned to flash a glare at my daughter that was now ducked behind an end cap.  She waved me forward, and was grinning like a mad woman.  Meanwhile, my own face was on fire.  So I took a deep breath, walked up to him and started looking in the fridge that he was stocking.  I glanced over and met his eye and he flashed a panty-dropping smile.  I shot a panicked look at my daughter who gave me a look of encouragement and another “go-on” wave.  So I turned back to the hot butcher, took another deep breath and said the first thing that came to my mind…

“So...is this meat good?”

Yea, that’s right folks.  I couldn’t believe he didn’t immediately drop trough either.

His smile faltered and he said “Um, I think that depends on how it's cooked.”

Realizing that I was not, actually, as cool as I thought - I replied with a witty “Really?  Thanks!”

I grabbed a package of meat.  And then with all the dignity I could muster, I ran like hell.

This would mark the beginning of a series of stories that, looking back now, I can smile about.  But back then, it would pretty frequently leave me feeling like there was something terribly wrong with me.

The hands down most epic moment of my flirting career was in the same grocery store and was with my roommate in tow.  My new roommate had not yet had an opportunity to witness me in all my awkward flirting glory.  

There was a man in the produce section.  If there is a Julie-manual somewhere, flip to the chapter marked “Julie’s type".  Look at the picture there.  *That* man in the picture was standing between me and the sliced mushrooms that I needed for dinner.  He was a military man in desert camo that did very little to hide the body underneath.  My roommate informed me later that, based on his patches, he was some sort of higher up.  Standing nearly a foot taller than me, he was gorgeous.  Piercing deep blue eyes and dimples for days, I nearly swallowed my tongue when his eyes flicked towards me and those dimples deepened.

You know that dance that everyone does in the aisle of the grocery store?  When you are trying to get around the person that is facing you?  You dodge left, they dodge left.  You dodge right, they dodge right.  Everyone does the slight smile and “excuse me” murmur and then goes on about their way?

Yea, that normal thing?  I didn’t do that.

What *I* did was hold both of my hands up in a stop motion and say “I am not stalking you, I just need these mushrooms" as I reached past him to pick them up.  Internally, my dialogue looked something like this “Stalking you?  Really?”

Impossibly, the dimples deepened even further as casually replied “Well, that's a damn shame.”

I opened my mouth to reply and…

“Squeak”

Instant. Panic.

I’d meant to throw the mushrooms down, but inadvertently wound up tossing them at him, which just made my embarassment that much worse.  So I gave him a helpless look and I ran.

My roommate was standing behind me with a dazed look on her face, kind of vaguely pointing between the two of us.  I zoomed past her and as she caught up she was saying “He was flirting with you, you know that, right?”

“Yep.  Keep moving.”

She sputtered “But...but he is GORGEOUS.”

“Keep. Moving.”  I seethed at her from between gritted teeth.

Since I did, in fact, need groceries - I didn’t leave the store.  Much to my chagrin, a few aisles later, I ran across him again.  He flashed me a smile again, however this time it looked a little manic.  Also, I could tell that the smile that he gave me, very nearly accompanied a sympathetic albeit confused pat on the head.  

This story was gleefully retold to our entire social circle.  The retelling resulted in conversations about tossing mushrooms instead of rice at my wedding, when against all odds...I managed (without the aid of successful flirting) to marry my husband.

What all of this taught me about flirting after divorce is this:

When confronted by a hot guy in the supermarket...if you are nervous, empty your hands before you reply.  In the event that there are witnesses, I can promise, you will never live it down.

Don't try to force yourself into something you're not comfortable doing.

Go out with the guy that, against all odds, makes you feel at ease - rather than the guy that makes you want to swallow your tongue.

And lastly, relax.  Take your time.  You have nothing to lose, and EVERYTHING to gain.

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Man I can never get over how much Dawn and Lucas do not look like different characters. Like.. it just... really bugs me?? I know that kalos also had a kinda useless wasted potential thing of the other protagonist being a ‘rival’ that really had no personality and never did anything rivally, but sinnoh bugs me more cos of their designs. THEY LOOK LIKE... TWINS... HOW DO THEY NOT... BE TWINS why on earth did you make all this effort making it canon that they have different families and never met before despite living two towns away and just... THEY ARE... TWINS!!! LOOK AT THEM HOW Only hilda and hilbert look more like actual gendered options to the same character! like EVERY OTHER game has the two options look different and have wildly different outfits and hair colours and stuff. even sun and moon went back to similar hair and eyes but their costumes are still more different and like.. more colourful distracting from the sameness. i dunno why sun and moon had to do it tho, cos its a customizeable game! kalos had the default designs have wildly different appearances and if you wanted to make dark haired serena or blonde calem then thats what the customization is for. And I mean, they didnt have the same exact face! >_>

HOW ARE THEY NOT TWINS

yes hello it is me Actual Palette Swap of You With One Less Scarf Tail And Long Pants it sure is nice to meet you oh person i have never met before in my life why have i been bothered by this for a goddamn decade...

and rival mode dawn/lucas just does nothing and has no personality and i love every single sinnoh character except these guys that i forget exist :P and I mean okay THE TWINS HEADCANON would have been a great excuse to give them some actual personality and a unique dynamic with protagonist maybe they’re siblings in a family that was divorced? protagonist is with contest mom and rival is with science dad, or the other way around, or whatever. but it’d be a reason for them to maybe start off as more of a gary oak rival? like, you barely ever see that side of the family and now OH NO because of this adventure you’re forced to interact with UGH your embarassing sister/brother from that dad/mom who hurt your mom/dad, and its all rivalry a go-go! but it could even be a bit unique cos of the role as a science assistant, maybe they’re more sassy and manipulative instead of an evil jock. And cos of their position they’re able to sabotage your journey more and maybe spread bad rumours with the professor and stuff. And they could be someone you really wanna show up, but also not as completely hateable because they actually have a reason for being such a troll. its all just a big misunderstanding because of your mom’s ex-husband being a bad breakup and stuff, and the kids projecting that onto the other parent’s other kid who wasnt remotely responsible for what happened. And then they could end up getting loads of character development and growing closer and realizing ‘oh shit maybe i really AM similar to my sibling, and maybe i’m slightly happy i finally got to meet them’ and then in the ending it could be really sweet to have the rival sibling be a less antagonistic role in the postgame. just get to see some sweet family interactions of them actually being family now. Simple stuff like ‘hey protagonist im gonna help you find the next plot flag’ could be heartwarming after 60 hours of them being an obstacle in yoru path. Oh, and maybe cos Barry is more of a friendly rival, he could also have a bit more plot and development from defending you against gary oak sibling? it could really establish that he is indeed the friend character, and be a chance to show him being anything but cheerful. I mean, did he ever get angry at anyone ever except team galactic? hell, even then he just started hating himself for being too weak to save anyone, and then didnt really get a satisfactory conclusion to that plotline. (sadly something he shares with Hau yo...) Like, imagine a version of hau that’s more of a passionate hasty fighter bro who would actually GET GODDAMN PISSED at gladion instead of blocking out his haterness. (Not that Hau is bad for being more forgiving and all, i mean he ignored this guy’s jerk behaviour so bad that he turned him into a friend XD if anything its even sassier to respond to someone’s attempted insults with ‘daww what a nice compliment’)

but yeah just... LOOK if there is one badly developed character in the amazingness of sinnoh, then you’d better bet im gonna get salty as hell dawn/lucas rival mode, you weren’t an un-rescueable concept! >_<

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How do I write an autistic villain without demonizing autism by accident? ;-;

I’m not really sure why you’re messaging this to me. I’m really sorry but I’m not an expert on like.. political stuff about autism stereotyping, just because I’m autistic. And it depends on which country you live in, I know that america has a far more visible sort of cultural presence for stereotypes, due to the whole Autism $peaks controversies. I dont live in america and I’m not super smart or anything, so yeah this is a disclaimer that this is just my opinion and you should probably research answers given by other people too. And maybe ask people about the specific circumstances of what you’re writing, like the context of the setting of the story and what the villain is like, etc. I’d be happy to chat to you about that if you need help! (but again, im no expert, lol)

ANYWAY!

My opinion on the subject is that having an autistic villain is perfectly fine, as long as you’re not villainizing autism. Like...* Don’t make the autism the reason theyre a villain.* Don’t make people scared of them because of the autism, rather than because they’re a villain.* Don’t treat their autistic traits as scary or inherantly villainous.* Don’t make anyone insult them for their autism and act like its justified because they’re evil.

And similarly its bad form to do any of that stuff in regard to any sort of minority really. An example that always bugged me is how Excellus from Fire Emblem Awakening is scary and evil because he’s a murderous monster, yet everyone in the game constantly insults him for the fact he acts ambiguously gay/transgender/effeminate. Like, there’s way too many jokes about people finding him ‘disgusting’ because of some random thing he can’t change, like a sexuality, race or mental illness which plenty of non-evil people have too! It also lessens his impact as a villain because the characters barely even address the actual villainous things he does, and he doesnt seem to have any motive at all. They just ride on the whole ‘the audience will find him gross’ thing as a crutch and forgot to bother writing a good villain.

Oh, and your concerns are indeed valid, yo! Sometimes it is important to think about the context you created a character in, even if you didnt intentionally create any negative messages within your writing.It’s just that the case where a character will be seen as villainizing [minority trait] for being a villain... that’s kind of only in a very specific circumstance? its just that this specific circumstance is very very common in mass media nowadays.It’s ‘The Smurfette Principle’.If you only have one character of a minority in your cast, its easy for an uninformed audience to pick up messages that you’re saying ALL members of that minority are the same as them.If you only have one autistic character and he’s the villain, then you might accidentally be villainizing him. In a world where autistic characters being villainized for their autism is already very common, people could just assume you made them autistic for the same reason all those other writers did- because they think it’s ‘scary’. It feeds the stereotype even if you didn’t conciously intend it that way.

So a very very easy way to fix this problem is just to add multiple characters of a minority into your story, filling various roles from villain to hero to helpful npc. or anything you can think of!

Another good quick fix is to have your villain be autistic, but portray their autistic traits as sympathetic/relateable/a humanizing aspect of them. Not just portraying it as something neutral that doesnt make them scary, but going out of your way to add some scenes showing how they’re just like anybody else. Or even making it one of their redeeming traits!It doesn’t have to outright be something like ‘yo being autistic makes me inherantly good and childlike’, which is a stereotype all to itself, lol. But you could show them experiencing predjudice from another character, in a way that makes the audience sympathise. Honestly having a character attack them for being autistic instead of being a villain would be a good way to do this, as long as that character is actually shown as being wrong for what they’re doing. Or simply showing the villain having common autistic traits, facing common problems, doing common everyday things... that can be enough to portray autism positively. Have them shown doing this stuff outside of the situation of them being villainous. It makes them feel more human and less of an abstract symbol of evil. And because these small glimpses of normality are lightening the mood, they become seen as a positive aspect!

KIND OF AN OFFTOPIC TANGEANT SORRYJust my personal experience as an autistic kid experiencing this story... I personally headcanoned Cyrus from pokemon as autistic. Not because he’s ‘scary and emotionless’, but because his backstory was relateable to me as an autistic person. It’s said that his parents were emotionally abusive, and that he had nobody to turn to because everyone thought he was ‘a creepy kid’. And he was able to find solace by obsessing over repairing machines in his bedroom, and apparantly has trouble understanding people because they can’t be fixed as easily. Stuff like maths and science are kind of a stereotypical Special Interest for autistic children to be given in fiction, I guess because it makes you seem more intelligent when you obsess about that instead of video games, norse mythology, or collecting tiny novelty spoons from around the world XD (Yeah i was a weird kid.)So yeah sorry I went a little offtopic there, but the point is that it might have been by accident instead of intention but that villain has a lot of traits that read as autistic. And when i first played Diamond and Pearl I actually disliked him a lot because of that, I felt like they were villainizing someone who seemed relateable and potentially redeemable. I mean, he seemed pretty depressed too! Give that man some therapy! But when I played Platinum and got to learn his backstory I started to feel like the writers actually did want us to feel sympathetic to him, because of how all those ‘scary’ traits were presented so sympathetically. Like.. the backstory isn’t that he became evil because he was an autistic kid who did creepy things like obsess about machinery and suck at social contact. No, he became a villain because he was abused by his parents, him being ‘weird’ is just intended to make it clear here that he didnt deserve it. It makes him pitiable, it makes him relateable, it makes you feel so much more frustrated that nobody listened to him and saved him from that hell, and nobody even seems to remember him fondly, just because he was ‘weird’. And hell, even his ‘emotion is evil’ philosophy seems very relateable to me as an autistic child. It seems like he learned to seclude himself to avoid angering his parents. That’s the impression I got from his final scene in Platinum, where he finally acts angry at you for beating him, then gets angry at himself for expressing emotion and forces himself to go back to how he usually talks. I get a bit pissed off whenever I see fans of the series claim he actually IS emotionless, lol! This scene made it clear to me that this is just a guy who WISHES he was emotionless, somehow seeing it as the only way to be free of pain. Someone who struggles to deal with his own emotions, or feels like he’s disgusting when he expresses them. And this is VERY relateable specifically to an autistic kid who suffered from an abusive parent! “Quiet Hands” is a kind of common concept that autistic kids might experience, that’s the name for a popular ‘parenting technique’ that really fucks people up. Focusing on making your kid never ‘act autistic’, rather than actually helping them understand things. ‘Quiet Hands’ is specifically about slapping or smacking your kid whenever they show stimming behaviour. (Hand flapping being a common way this symptom can manifest.) We’re taught never to be too loud, and to always always have to restrain ourselves to avoid embarassing our parents. We have to try and learn how to act like ‘normal people’ and become scared of harmless parts of our own brain just because theyre ‘embarassing’, leading to even worse emotional problems as an adult. i mean seriously how is it logical to tell a kid who has troubles with social interaction that they shouldnt even practise it?? Plus its a huge mess to teach these kids to do way more emotional labour than neurotypical kids are expected to do, and then treat them like they’re below average intelligence for not being able to do twice as much as everyone else...

ANYWAY! That’s a thinG! Sorry I went rambling off there about how a particular fictional character touched my heart, lol!I just kinda wish he could be canonically autistic, or if I had similar canonically autistic characters to relate to, instead. So i think having more autistic villains can’t be bad, we’re so badly in need of more autistic characters in general! And villains have a unique perspective of being able to hit our emotions the hardest. I think its easier to cry over someone who has a sad backstory of how they became evil, compared to anything else!So yeah what I was trying to say before I went offtopic is that if the backstory is ‘became evil because autism’, then people will complain. But if the backstory is ‘became evil because someone mistreated them because autism’ then that’s a good way to make people sympathise with autism. Aaaaand I’m bad at explaining this, because autism XD Well, i mean, my personal symptoms and lack of diagnosis til I was an adult means that I’m still working on learning how to communicate correctly, I don’t mean every autistic person writes terrible tl;dr advice posts that degrade into pokemon XDOh man i feel embarassed now, you asked me such a polite question and I didnt know how to answer it very well...I just hope maybe I inspired you to go out and do more research, rather than putting you off with my nonsense!