#so yesterday we got a new car for me since mine broke down (again) and is not worth fixing in his opinion

[steviescrystals]

my dad confuses me on the daily

[strangerweirdo15]

The King will fall pt3 (King! Steve Harrington x Fem! Henderson reader)

Warnings- Bullying, angsttttt, one sided love, mutual pinning,eventual  smut (soft love), crying, bad home life(steve), best friends-enemies-friends-lovers <3. 

Summary: you remember the day you met him, the day you fell in love with him, and the day you fell out of love with him. Then the day that everything changed what happens when two strayed souls are pulled back together and forced to question what happened that day. The day Steve Harrington broke your heart. 

All conversations are in BOLD writing 

*Not spell checked*

Previous:  https://www.tumblr.com/strangerweirdo15/722996588813893632/the-king-will-fall-pt2-king-steve-harrington-x?source=share

Chapter 3: same old same old

WC:2.2k 

The thing is life moves on, no matter the feelings you have. A lot has happened since 7th grade. You went through your first heartbreak but life went on. There are times now and then where you miss what used to be but there was a more overpowering feeling of resentment and anger . I couldn't quite put my finger on it. 

I'm now a senior. Well technically I'll be one after this summer is over. I started High School. That's when King Steve already got crowned going into his sophomore year and already I didn't recognize the boy I Used to Know. I kept my head down. I never wanted to be singled out by him or any of his friends. I had a couple good friends. Robin was my best friend though she knew everything I went through with him. Our friendship grew stronger from 7th grade and now I'm here.

 Working a summer minimum wage job at Scoops Ahoy in the new Star Court Mall my brother is gone at camp and I thought there's no harm. Last year I had a few run-ins with he who shall not be named. Some crazy stuff happened that my brother didn't tell me but I'm glad I got to be there for him even though now I'll have nightmares about a demon creature that ate our cat. Do I know why the one person that was available to give him a ride for him had to be Steve Harrington no. I do know how I felt the minute I saw him though my brother was younger when everything happened he's still new I never wanted to be around him that's why I threw that whole night I did not speak one word or even look in his Direction and after it was over and he tried to talk to me I did not give in I would not let him hurt me like that again. 

When Robin brought up the idea for us both to get a job so we can spend our summer together and earn money I thought no harm no foul. I think she forgot to mention that Steve the hair Harrington was also starting a new job there this summer. There were certain scenarios I just couldn't avoid. And I had to look at him and talk to him and breathe the same air as him and every inch of my being wanted to scream in his face

I had just gotten back from the store with my mom picking up some new cleats. See if something happens to you that hurts a lot you tend to pick up certain things to distract you, mine was soccer and I loved it. I loved my teammates. I love the adrenaline. My brother got home yesterday from camp. I'm getting dressed in my stupid uniform to go work a shift with my best friend and my worst enemy. 

I walked out into the living room where my brother was Messing with his walkie-talkie

Hey dust mite if you want to catch a ride with me to the mall I'm leaving right now. I said. He  jumped in the passenger seat of my car as we drove to the mall. I missed you kid, how was camp meet any hot chicks. He looked over at me with that little goofy smile of his. No way did my little brother get a girlfriend?. I am shocked as I'm turning down the radio. Her name is Suzie. She's so smart and she's even hotter than Phoebe Cates. I shake my head laughing. I cannot believe my baby brother has a girlfriend. Where does the time go? 

So what's new with you sis have you..... um talked to Steve a lot? 

I look over at him and disbelieve he knows I hate when he talks about him. What do you think? I say I don't feel like I'm being irrational. My brother just got home and already he's asking about stupid Steve, the one person who he Couldn't stop talking about all year long. Okay...okay I mean It's been almost 4 years I understand he was an asshole but he's changed really you know he talks about yo-. I cut him off before he could continue. Dustin please stop. I honestly don't care what he has to say and I can deal with how I want to deal with what happened for how long I want to deal with it. Can we have one conversation where you don't bring him up okay I missed you and you're already talking about him i just-.. i..t ...it doesn't matter we're already here.  

(Flash Back) snowball dance end of 84' 

I'm volunteering for the Snowball Dance as a chaperone. I've gotten a lot closer with Nancy and Jonathan. Our Brothers had been friends for a long time so you know at some point we were going to have to become friends. Nancy asked me if I was available to volunteer and I just thought after everything that had gone on what's the harm.I like Nancy she was a good person protected my brother even though it did hurt when her and Steve got together everybody knew about them the golden couple I thought after all these years I would have been okay but seeing them it hurt. Don't get me wrong I know Steve was in his slut phase. There was gossip left and right about him. It just still kind of hurts. I think a part of me would always love him… 

I told Dustin I could take him to the dance. He told me he needed extra time to get ready and he had a ride. I didn't ask who it was but I assumed. I told him I would be waiting out front even though El saved the world again I still got a little scared something could happen to my brother. 

(Dustin and Steve in the car

All right all right kid stop worrying your hair looks good I'm sure Max will like it. Dustin looked over at Steve and sighed. Steve looked at the window and then he cleared his throat. So um.. how's yo- your sister. Steve had changed over the last couple months and after Nancy dumped him. The day you guys stopped being friends Steve didn't really know what to do with himself he missed you a lot actually missed your talks missed you whenever his dad would yell at him or when nobody remembered his birthday. He missed your laugh. When you started high school he thought it was best to keep his distance. He had just started becoming popular. Every girl wanted him and every guy wanted to be him. But he noticed you. He always noticed you. He even went and watched your championship soccer game he saw you make the winning goal even though he was hiding behind the bleachers he looked at you and wished he was out there cheering with you. you never tried to talk to him either and you had every right but back then all he wanted to do was keep his front on let nobody in really and have everybody love him. Even if it wasn't real. Now that he's older and he's grown he regrets what he did. He still remembers the day everything happened the way you looked at the sound of your muffled cry. How he saw you run out to your mom's minivan and he walked back into the dance and acted like nothing happened. He missed your friendship. She's okay. I think she hasn't really talked much since what happened but I think she's okay. Steve nodded his head. He had Home Alone after that night, times like this is when he missed you.)

Lo and behold pulls up Steve Harrington's BMW. I do have to say the hatred I felt for him had died down a little bit in the last week. Maybe it was because he helped save my brother and his friends and the world I don't really know. My brother stepped out of the car and so did Steve. I looked at his head and started laughing. What the hell did you do to my brother's hair Harrington?. I walked up to them. Do you like it? Dustin asks me to flashing his new pearls. I could see the real enjoyment in my brother's eyes so I smiled. You know what I think I just might. I went to try and ruffle his hair but he hit my hand away.Not the hair not the hair. He whined. Get on inside. I told him and giggled. He ran up the steps into the school. I looked over to see Steve staring at me with a look in his eyes I couldn't put my finger on. You alright Harrington? I turn around to fully look at him. He turned his head down slightly blushing that he had been caught. Um it's just I haven't heard your laugh in a long time is all. I look down for a minute trying to contemplate what he's saying and why he is saying it is this cruel joke there's no way it could be anything else. Steve started to think about what he just said in the look on your face he was mortified. i'm sorry all i meant- he starts to say. Steve we have barely talked in the past 5 years up until recently with everything that happened I have so much as looked at your direction I don't know what happened to you but I want you to stop trying to do whatever this is if you're guilty or something want to clear your conscience don't do it on my Accord it only makes you feel better. I turn on my heels and start walking back into the gym.

Y/N wait can we just talk for a second..  I can hear Steve running up behind me and as I was going to turn around and tell him to stop the gym door opens. Out walks Ally Parker, Head cheerleader at Hawkins High and part-time evil witch. She spots Steve and brushes past Me Knocking my shoulder. Watch out. She says in her snarky uptight tone she's just another one of those popular people who makes everybody feel little to boost their own confidence but I guess it's right where Steve belongs. I scoff and roll my eyes as she walks in front of me and bats her eyelashes at Steve. Hi Steve. She says Oh hey Ally I'm kind of busy right now. He says gazing up at me and trying to move past her. But she grabs his bicep with her perfectly manicured hand. She looks back at me and rolls her eyes. Why do you even need to talk to her? You should come out with us we're all going to the drive-in. Want to take me in your car? She lets out her evil witch giggle. I genuinely couldn't believe what was happening, same old same old. I scoffed loudly, turning the attention back to me. Yeah Steve, go have fun at the drive-in. Something about this Situation is bringing me back to the 7th grade snowball and that's why I don't know why I feel my cheeks going red and the tears forming behind my eyes. Steve must notice it too because he looks at me with those beautiful deep brown eyes full of pity. He reached out to grab my hand but I yanked it away Y/N please let me explain.

Thanks for making us relive history. I walked back into the gym down that same hallway where My heart was broken all those years ago. I can't believe he was doing it again, what I would do to not still be in love with Steve Harrington....( flash back over)

Dustin would never understand how I felt. He didn't know what happened at that Snowball Dance last year and I don't know why I feel like this. Maybe it's because I felt completely betrayed by somebody I called my best friend and yeah I know I was in seventh grade so why does it matter. I don't know I wish I could stop feeling what I feel. I wish I could just get over it and not feel resentment and anger but it's really hard when you're forced to be around the person that hurt you. And it sucks even more that he is always flirting. I don't want to feel what I feel but I can't help it so my heart hurts a little more each time. Because I see him in his little goofy sailor costume and I can't help but smile. Then I feel like that little girl, that little girl who just wanted Steve Harrington to like her, tell her, her dress was pretty to hold her hand to ask her to dance but I never got that and yeah I need to get over it but I can't..

End of pt 3 I'm not sure where to take this. but i hope you enjoy tho 

[urfriendlylocalidiot]

Last one for a while, fantasy based - was actual my final project for my creative writing class back in the day.

🛑⚠️TRIGGER WARNINGS🛑⚠️: Character Death, I think that’s it?

(To be perfectly honest, I haven’t read any of these since I wrote them)

Stargazers

School is finally out and summer has begun. Casper and Michael are both excited for a summer full of vacations, parties, and road trips. It’s their senior year after all, but unbeknownst to them, they would not survive it.

My name is Casper, named after Casper the Friendly Ghost. The sound of an ice cream truck woke me up, unlike the normal ringing of my alarm clock during the school year. Thank god school is out I thought to myself. I went to the bathroom and brushed my pearly white teeth, brushed my blonde hair back, and finally put contacts on my blue eyes. Then I threw on some swim trunks and an old t-shirt and ate some avocado toast. Then, I headed out to my car to pick up my girlfriend, Mercy Evans, to go to the lake house. It’s our senior year and we’re both committed to UCLA. I pulled up to her house and we loaded her stuff into my car, as mine was already at the lake house from spring break. After which we made the long 3-hour drive to the lake house. My parents owned it, but they were in Europe celebrating their anniversary.

But, as I pulled into the driveway, I saw a beat-up blue Ford truck.

“Why’s Michael here?” Mercy asked me.

“ I don’t know, you stay here while I go sort it out.” I got out of the car and walked up the steps and into the house. I didn’t see him immediately so I yelled.

“MICHAEL, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING IN MY PARENTS LAKEHOUSE!”

Then this man had the audacity to come down the stairs and say,“Dude, calm down. Your parents said I could stay here over the summer since my apartment got a new landlord. I thought your parents sent you a text about it?”

I have never wanted to punch his green eyed, brown haired self more than in that moment. You see Michael and I have quite the history. Michael was my BEST friend when I was younger, it was probably because we balanced each other. I had a power for fire and he had a power for water. When I was younger, I loved watching the stars with my best friend, Michael. We used to be best friends. Used to; past tense. Michael’s full name is Michael Anthony Renee Campbell so he goes by M.A.R.C. sometimes. We spent every summer together at my family’s lake house. The ironic part about the lake house is I can’t swim. Every summer I would try to learn, but I could never really get the hang of it. His parents were dead, so my parents took him in. Every night during those summers we would go to our special spot in the woods to look at stars. But eventually, we grew up. Middle school came and I wanted to be more popular. I threw a 4th of July party at the special spot. People set off fireworks without me knowing and some of the trees ended up catching on fire, falling. I looked down at the scars on my body as I remember it like yesterday. MARC then called the fire department and an ambulance, but our friendship was never the same again. My parents bought him his own apartment and helped him set up a bank account as well as all the legal things. But hey, people change, the friendship was bound to end sooner or later. Also, it’s time we get back to the present day. It’s summer again.

I checked my phone and saw a text from my mom, “MARC will be at the lake house because his rent was getting too expensive. Try not to burn the place down.” Well looks like there’s no getting out of this arrangement. It can’t be that bad, at the very least this lake house has to be big enough for the both of us, I thought to myself.

We spent 3 weeks living together peacefully. Then, inevitably, a fight broke out when he found out I was throwing a party.

“Don’t you remember what happened at the last one? I mean, just look at your scars,” Michael says.

“It’ll be safer this time, everyone’s more mature.”

“How do you actually know that? Connor said he was mature, and ate a slug on the last day of school for a dare!”

“That’s why he’s uninvited.”

“There’s also a cliff now, what if someone gets injured?”

“The water is deep enough and everyone knows how to swim.”

“You don’t!”

“That’s why I won’t be going near the cliff. Listen, my parents own this house and they signed off on this party in April.”

“Fine, but don’t expect me to help you decorate or anything,” MARC says as he storms off into the woods, presumably to the special place.

Later that night after Mercy helped me decorate the house with a lot of red, white, and blue. The party was in full swing and everyone was having a great time. But of course, something just had to go wrong. I had been decently monitoring who got near the cliff, most of them were strong swimmers. But, the moment I turned around, Connor dove over the edge of the cliff. I don’t even know how he got in because I made sure to uninvite him by telling him it was moved to next week. I guess his friends must’ve told him. Connor couldn’t swim and no one was close enough to save him. He hit the water face first as well, pretty much instantly knocking himself out. By the time he was dragged out, he wasn’t breathing and his pulse was gone. Some of the nursing students tried CPR on him, but to no avail. Authorities were called and let’s just say he went home in a body bag.

It was in the newspaper the next day, “High school graduate dies after falling off cliff.” As for me, I was an adult and was facing a reckless endangerment charge, however, they found an insane amount of alcohol and drugs in his system that I had no idea of. I also had an excellent lawyer. My parents had made sure to find the best to cover up my secret powers as a child. Thankfully, the jury ended up blaming Connor for his own death, saying “it was practically a suicide.” My parents were obviously furious, but at least it wasn’t the forest catching on fire. They said that they didn’t want any more trouble out of me for the rest of my life. I did feel really bad about Connor; I had known him since kindergarten. I cried for like a week straight and even burned my pillow. It was my fault in a lot of ways that Connor would never be able to go to college. I don’t even know how he got his hands on hard drugs. On the fifth night, I thought about getting my first pet goldfish, Goldie. I think about that a lot when I experience something that makes me feel an emotion strongly.

I got Goldie when I was around 3 years old, it was a pretty normal experience. My parents just bought him from Pet Smart and brought him home. However, the part that I remember the most is when I first saw him. I was so excited that I ended up burning him alive, I cried when that happened as well. It was the first time I had ever witnessed my own fire. I didn’t even know what I had done until my parents sat me down and told me that I had fire powers . They said these magic powers were blessings only given to a few every year. I was confused obviously, but they said not to worry about it and I would see special doctors about them soon. When I went to the doctors, they told me that my “ gift” was tied to my emotions. Whenever I felt something strongly, there was a good chance I would burn something but they would teach me how to control it. Every Saturday I would go to those doctors and they would help me control my emotions. That's how I met MARC. Apparently, after one of the meetings he drowned his parents in their car after a very heartbreaking video he was forced to watch. My parents heard about it, and that’s how he became my brother. When high school came around, I was no longer required to go to the doctors. I was told I had enough control now.

After Connor died, tensions were as high as ever at the lake house. MARC never spoke to me when he was there. He was leaving a lot, to where I have no clue. I was worried about him. He was right to be mad at me though. When I woke up one night and wanted to go stargazing, I went to our spot. I saw Michael there and started apologizing.

“Hey man, I know you’re mad at me but I just want to say that I’m sorry for not listening to you about the party.”

“It’s whatever man, what’s done is done.”

“Really? You’re not mad?”

“Oh, I’m still furious at you, don't get me wrong.”

“Is there anything I can do to make this right?”

“No.”

“Oh,” I said as I headed back.

“Where are you going? Didn’t you want to see the stars?” MARC said eerily. All of a sudden I felt a rough splash of water on my head.

“Dude, what! I thought you weren’t mad at me anymore!” I felt my anger boil inside of me. I tried to keep it down, using the breathing technique the doctors taught me. But I just couldn’t, I launched a fireball at Michael that he easily extinguished.

“As if I could ever forgive you lying scum. You showed everyone this spot and for what FAME?!? MIDDLE SCHOOL POPULARITY?!?!? Because of you, this place is charred and burned. This was our place man, I thought we were brothers.”

“You could never be my brother, you killed your own parents! What, are you mad about Connor because now you lost someone else to water?” Ok, maybe that hit a little close to home, but I was mad and wasn’t thinking right. Michael launched a wall of water at me, forcing me to retreat to the lake, which would be his advantage.

“Dude you don’t have to do this,” I begged him.

“You’re only saying that because you don’t want me to kill you,” MARC said as he walked on the water while simultaneously holding a column of it in the air.

He throws it on me, I dry myself off with fire and light a tree on fire to fall right on him. He dodges easily. I don’t know any good fire attacks since I’ve spent my entire life trying to hide them. But I think back to Goldie and remember that I also evaporated his fishbowl with excitement. So desperately I plunge my hands into the large, round lake and put as much fire as I can through my hands. And I guess some of it must have worked because all of sudden I hear. “AH, THAT BURNS! '' from Michael. Then as he sees my point of contact with the water, he gets the water to pull me in somehow, knowing that I can’t swim. The starless night, the vast green trees, it all felt so distant. He knew my weakness, but I knew his: he hated sad things. So, as long as I could get my head over water, I could get him down. But no matter how hard I tried, my vision started to blur and then it dawned on me, maybe the sadness from killing me will end him.

Up above water Michael yells, “Where are you, Casper! This isn’t over yet! The world needs to know M.A.R.C took down the magnificent Casper Campbell!” Casper didn’t surface.

Then Michael felt a sharp pain in his chest, sadness. He had just killed the last member of his family that loved him. There was no way Casper’s parents would take him in now. He collapsed in tears into the water. Then a flame shot out from underneath burning him instantly to death. Casper had held his breath;however, he still couldn’t swim so he died as well. They were together, among the stars they had spent their childhood looking at.

The next morning Mercy found the bodies of both Casper and Michael Campbell on the shore of the lake. Panicking, she called Casper’s parents who flew back from England to sort out the legal chaos. The official causes of death were immolation and drowning. Both supposedly suicides. Mercy was too late, yet again the world was unfair and a child must be brought without a father’s presence.

That’ll be it for me… for now 😛😛

[mayansmcsblog]

Her world or mine

I have no idea when i wrote this but i found it in my drafts half done so i finished it and- yh that's about it😅

This was meant to be based upon the song her world or mine but i got off track so its only loosely based upon it.

word count: 3640

Enjoy!

He hasn't used the truck for weeks, he had no reason to anymore, being in it only brought back memories of you. The long drives, the short drives too. The way you would hold his hand while he was driving or how you would remind him to pay attention to the road when he looked in your direction for too long. All the memories were fresh within his mind- almost as if it was yesterday. 

Even now, he was only sitting in it, he had to do the beer run and obviously that couldn't be done on a bike, he had to take the truck, but all he could think about was how you used to sit in the passenger seat beside him. He could see it in his mind so vividly, if he didn’t know you had moved on he would swear you were sitting with him. 

Looking at the dash his gaze caught the Polaroid photo that was still in its place next to the radio. Your face accompanied a smile whilst his had his usual ‘tough’ man expression, but if you looked close enough, you would be able to see a small smile placed upon his lips. You took it at one of the infamous Mayans parties, he remembered how it took you around 10 minutes to ‘convince’ him to take it, he wanted to take it from the moment you suggested it but he wondered how far you would go to get him to do it

-

“Please” you had been begging him for the last 5 minutes in attempt to get him to take a photo with you but to no avail

“No” you two were sitting on the bench outside the clubhouse, people surrounding the both of you, everyone was involved on their own conversations so neither of you paid any mind to them. Of course he was still aware of his surroundings but was more relaxed than usual

“But come on” you begged

“No y/n” he kept his face as straight as he could but you could slowly see a shadow of a smirk forming upon his lips

“Why?”

“No face no case” he shrugged with a slight smirk on his face, clearly that was a lie. Not even 20 minus prior you had taken a photo of all of the club members standing outside of the clubhouse per bishop’s request so he could frame it and hang it somewhere within the clubhouse to show off the members.

“Why are you so stubborn?”

“Why are you so adamant? “He questioned

“Because” 

“Because what?” standing up he motioned for you to do so as well,

“Just because”

“Come on follow me”

Standing up you took this hand as led you away from the party,

“Where are we going?”

“To take this god damn photo”

-

Recalling that night he felt a pain inevitably run across his chest, sure you two were only friends when it was taken but that night was the foundation for building the relationship you two once shared. 

Why had he been so stupid to let you go?

He knew he would have to drive past your place to get to the brewery, it was inevitable really. There was no other way unless he was going to drive an extra 30 minutes, which he didn't have time for.

when he reached the turn in to your street he slowed down a little, looking at your house from a distance he could see a car he didn’t recognize in the driveway. As he got closer he could see two people on the porch, he immediately recognized you accompanied by some guy. 

Of course you had someone else.

-----

Sitting on the couch you couldn't help but let your mind drift back to him, you missed his smile, you missed the way he would have a running commentary while watching anything on the TV, you missed how he would hold you after a long day, you missed everything about him.

“You’re thinking about him again, aren't you?” 

You did nothing but hum in response

Your brother had elected to stay with you for a few weeks while he was on a business trip for some type of expansion for the company he worked for. Originally it was a good idea, it kept you mind off Ez, but the more time your brother was here, the more he talked about his wife back home and how he couldn't wait to get back to her just made you think about how you don't have someone in your life to look forward to anymore, you no longer had someone you could tell everything to, someone who would stay by your side, someone you knew would be waiting for you when you were away from home. As much as you loved your brother, you were thankful he was leaving tomorrow

“Im gonna go get a drink” standing up you heard your brother mumble something in response but you elected ignored him and heading to the kitchen.

As you approached the fridge you spotted the picture of you and Ezekiel stuck on the door. You were pretty sure it was Coco who had taken when him, you, Ez and Angel went over the border for a day because none of you had anything to do and for some reason Mexico was the first thing that was suggested. You had been meaning to get rid of it but couldn't bring yourself to. Alot of memories were collected between the four of you, some of them you were just not ready to let go of yet.

By now he was probably already in another relationship so why were you still holding on?

Grabbing a bottle of water you headed outside and sat on the porch steps. You knew there was a party at the clubhouse tonight, Angel had invited you to come, but you knew Ez would be there. 

Did you really want to see a girl all over him while you're still here alone? Because that would definitely happen

Maybe he wouldn't be there? Or maybe he would be too busy doing stuff to even realize you were there 

You were too wrapped up in your own mind to even realize your brother had stepped outside till you heard a creak from the wood behind you 

“Y/n?”

“Yeah” 

“you okay?" He asked sitting beside you

 “yep"

You two sat in silence for a few moments before he started talking once again

“I love you ye? Don’t let that boy ruin you. He lost you by his own fault. You did nothing” he rambled on about how you should have been treated better and how Ez lost the best thing he could ever have. But you knew he was wrong.

Ezekiel always treated you like a queen, your brother met him one time and barely spoke to him for longer than five minutes. As far as you were concerned you brother didn't know anything about him

While he was rambling you were looking into the distance, mainly just looking at the sky but you could have sworn you saw his truck drive past, but maybe you were just seeing things right? His truck wasn't the only one, there were probably millions of them.

-

The party was in full swing, people were everywhere, the room full of patches from all over. mass amounts of people from charters were visiting in celebration of a new deal with the sons, leaving Ez to tend the bar along with some hang rounds.

Wiping down the bar he couldn't help but think about you for the billionth time today. He knew you two broke things off but it didn't mean you had to leave everyone from the club behind as well as him.

"Bro what the hell is wrong with you?" Angel questioned

"Nothing" shrugging his shoulders he dropped the bar rag and turned to get angel a beer from the fridge behind him

"Stop lyin man, what's going on in that head?" Angel knew his own brother better then to believe 'nothing' was going on with him, something was always going on up in Ez's brain, even if he didn't admit it

"I dunno man, I just think it's weird how y/n left us you know?" Ez shrugged again, handing angel a beer

"She didn't leave us. She’s distancing herself. Got a lot of family shit going on right now" he explained, you kept Angel in the loop with everything, after all he was your best friend even before Ez and you got together, if Ez wouldn't tell you something- Angel would.

"Just think it’s weird" Ez repeated, messing with the bar rag once again

"Ya well she’s coming tonight”

Before Ez could respond coco stood next to Angel 

"Who’s comin?"

The brothers looked at each other for a moment before angel came up with an idea 

"Just some random bird for our boy scout to bed"

"My man," Coco chuckled "finally gonna get your dick wet huh?"

----

You knew this was a bad idea, you knew he would be here. 

Was he going to be with another girl? Actually stupid question, of course he would be

Opening your phone you sent angel a text

‘I'm like five minutes out but i swear to God if you abandon me tonight i will hit you so hard that you can't remember anything for a week’

At least he would walk in with you so you weren’t alone right?

---

Angel stood up abruptly in the middle of a conversation he was having

"Where the fuck you going?" Coco questioned, lighting a cigarette from the chair he was sitting in

"Meet a friend"

"A friend huh?"

"Yeah...maybe you'll like her" Angel replied before grabbing his beer and retreating towards the door.

---

Walking through the gate you saw the front of the club littered with patches. Some of them were from different charters. Weird, angel never mentioned other charters visiting, by the look of the outside, you could only imagine the clubhouse itself is packed with people.

Scanning the crowd you spotted the person in question walking towards you

“Hey stupid face”

“good evening stupid head”

“that's basically the same thing i just said” 

"oh shut up i couldn't think of insult fast enough”

Pulling you into a hug you couldn't help but feel a little more relaxed. Angel was always like an older brother to you, an annoying one at that but still a brother.

It had been weeks since you saw him, being back in his company made you feel safe again, almost like a sense of home

He placed a kiss on your temple “We missed you here”

“Yeah, I know” letting him go you looked around, mainly to see if any of the other guys were in sight but also to see if coco was around, expecting to be attacked as per usual. 

Angel took notice of you scanning the crowd “He's inside”

“Hmm? Sorry I got no idea what you're on about”

Pulling you into his side he wrapped an arm around your shoulders “sure ya don't”

Walking inside you scanned the crowd once again, thankfully coco was nowhere to be seen for the moment and most of the guys were spread out around the room. Bishop and Taza were playing pool, Gilly and Creeper were sitting at the table in a conversation whilst hank sat opposite them looking at something on his phone, Ez was tending the bar like usual but this time he was accompanied by some hang rounds.

At least there isn't girls hanging off him yet 

“C'mon let’s get a drink huh” angel lightly shoved you towards the bar playfully.

“No”

“No?” his eyebrows raised playfully

“No and if you try to make me go over there with you i promise i will embarrass you” you laughed 

“Fine”

After he got the drinks you both sat at a table in the corner for a while talking, the majority of the topics were about what had been happening while you were distanced from everyone.

Eventually Coco spotted you two and joined in the conversation. you sat talking to the two of them while everyone else was up to their own things, you didn't mind, the both of them combined made for some very interesting storys, the conversation could never die. After around 10 minutes, Angel had left you two alone saying he “wasn't bout to listen to this shit ''- which was super ironic considering the topic of conversation was about modifications for a new bike coco had brought a few days ago

“How does your bike handle anyway? I heard they are bottom heavy and hard to manoeuvre sometimes” you questioned. overtime Ez had taught you some things about bikes, mainly when he was just rambling about random things not thinking you were really paying attention to what he was saying

“It’s alright i guess, sometimes it slips when I lean too far on corners, other times it tends to not wanna go the way I need to but other than that it handles pretty well, arms hurt like a bitch after long ride though” he explained

Nodding your head you understood where he was coming from, having your arms at that angle for hours must have taken its toll

“Ay '' he nodded his head towards someone behind you, Turning your head you saw it was Ez walking through the door with Angel, seemingly engrossed in some type of conversation they were having.

Despite spotting him earlier you only scanned over his appearance but now you actually took a good look at him, he looked different, not much but still different from before. His hair was in the same style but it little more grown out then usual, his facial hair had grown out a little too. His eyes had bangs underneath them and his face looked drained.

All in all he looked like shit.

“You know he’s not the same without you right?” bringing your attention back to coco you couldn't help but feel like you were to blame, maybe if you fought harder of him you two would have never split.

“You two spoke since?” he questioned

“Nope...I got a few drunk calls saying he was sorry but other than that. No” you shook your head. 

After you two first broke up he called you around a week later rambling about something but since he was slurring his words- you could barely understand anything he was saying. You got about 2 voicemails of him saying he was sorry and how he fucked up but- you never spoke to him, never texted him back when he would ask you if you were coming to one of the parties.

“The amount of times we've had to stop him from drunk calling you is unreal”

Playing with the label on the beer bottle in front of you, you thought about what coco said- clearly Ez had attempted to talk to you at some point, but why? The whole breakup was because he needed “space” to deal with some things so why was he trying to talk to you?

“He wanted space, I gave it to him” you shrugged, slowly peeling off the label

“Didn’t mean you had to leave us too” looking up from the bottle you saw coco was now avoiding your gaze

“Yeah...I know” maybe it was wrong of you to drop everyone, but being around them would have only brought back memories of you and Ez. At the time it seemed like a good idea to distance yourself from all of the guys, but now, despite only being here for a hour, you could tell how much you really missed being around them.

“You know he’s walking over here right?” Dropping your head onto the table you let out a sigh causing coco to laugh “I’ll leave you two alone huh?” lifting your head up you looked at him with a facial expression as if to say ‘don’t leave me’ but he did anyway

“Y/n” his voice was low, almost as if he didn’t believe he was saying your name again

“Ezekiel”

“Can we talk?”

“We are talking” sitting up straight you turned in your seat to look at him. He looked even worse up close- the bags under his eyes were alot darker then they seemed from a distance, they made it appear like he hadn’t slept for days, you couldn’t help but notice he had a bruise slowly forming on top of his right eyebrow.

“What happened there?”

He looked confused for a moment till you pointed to his eyebrow

“Oh I erm…got into a fight.....with a wall” his eyes were trained onto the floor, almost like he was ashamed.

You hummed in response not sure how to respond without laughing 

“So how have you been?” he questions

“Good i guess..how about you?”

“Alright I suppose”

What followed was nothing but silence between the both of you, neither of you knowing what to say. The sounds of other people talking and rock music became almost deafening as the two of you stayed silent

“Well this got really awkward fast” you spoke up causing Ez to laugh a little

“Yeah..yeah it did” he nodded

After a few more moments you stood from your chair “I'm just gonna-”

“Yeah go, i get it go ahead” he finished your sentence for you.

Nodding you quickly made your way outside, the yard was almost empty by now, people had either left for the night or had moved inside.

You spotted Angel sitting on the front steps fiddling with one of the rings on his hand while looking at something in the distance. You sat beside him in silence, neither of you even attempting to make conversation but simply just being trapped within your own minds.

When you and Ez broke up you knew things would change, you knew the two of you probably wouldn't be able to have the same conversations you would before, but you never expected them being so awkward.

Maybe it was just because the wound was still pretty fresh, after all it had only been just over a month

After a few minutes you heard the door behind you open as someone stepped out, seconds later a figure sat next to you, looking over you saw it was coco

“What we doin? havin a lil moment to yourselves” he asked lighting up a cigarette and offering the both of you one

“Yep” Angel responded, taking one and lighting it before looking somewhere in the distance once again. All three of you sat for a few minutes just looking at seemingly nothing in particular.

Maybe it won't be like this forever? At some point there has got to be a time where you can come to the club without feeling awkward because ez’s here.

You heard the clubhouse door open once more behind you and once again, you didn't turn around, but coco did

"Ay man sit" you heard him say as he snapped his fingers at space left beside him to whoever stepped out from the door. It didn't take long for whoever it was to sit down.

Much like he did with you and Angel, Coco offered the person a cigarette which they must of silently declined from the lack of verbal exchange.

There has to be a point when you and the club can all hang out together like before....there has to be a stage where you and Ez can talk like normal people without it being awkward….right?

Seemingly out of no were Coco spoke up, nodding his head towards two stacked benches on the opposite side of the yard "You think i could clear those in one attempt?"

Angel was the first to respond "Absolutely fucking not" he paused for a moment- looking where the benches were stacked "but I'd love to see you try"

"I bet $50 you fail and fall face first" someone spoke up, looking to your left you finally realized who stepped out earlier ..Ezekiel

"Bet, ill prove you wrong" coco stood, taking off his kutte and placing it on the stair rail "you two wanna place any bets?" Coco looked at you and Angel

"Nope, I'm good" you shook your head

"I bet $50 that you don't clear it" Angel responded

"You have no faith pretty boy" coco responded, shaking his head  as he started to walk over to the benches

"This is going to end in a hospital trip" you stated making both Angel and Ez laugh

All three of you watched as coco seemed to examine the height of the two benches, planning the distance he would have to run to gain enough speed to propel himself over them and how he would land the jump

"You think he's gonna snap his nose again?" Ezekiel questioned

"Definitely" both you and Angel replied

All three of you watched as coco began to run towards the benches, from your angle it looked as if he could clear it....you were wrong. 

Seconds later coco was laying face first in the dirt, one leg was on the floor while the other was stuck in a piece of wood on the bench that had broke underneath his weight

"I think i broke my nose" you heard coco exclaimed causing all three of you to laugh. The few people who were still outside drew their attention to the scene and started laughing too when they realized what happened.

"Ill go get some paper towels" you said, still laughing.

Maybe this was a sign nothing had changed between the four of you, that you could all still hang out and do stupid stuff like before

Maybe nothing has to change

-------------

An| hope you enjoyed this fic. Honestly have no idea why or when i started writing this but 🤷🏼‍♀️ . *sorry for any spelling or grammar errors or any parts that don't make sense. only scanned it before posting it*

ALSO- i swear part two to the prank war is coming! Its just talking awhile for me to find a way to describe to things going on as well as being busy with other stuff.

[trueshellz]

Seeing your abusive ex: Bokuto Scenario

Based on something that happened to me today and ended with me having to call my auntie to calm me down while I cried hysterically in my car. This is based in my own symptoms but is not an extensive or absolute list. This cute boi is my comfort character from Haikyuu. If anyone ever needs to talk about stuff like this, I will happily listen. You are loved. You are amazing!

Warning: possible abuse triggers, some angst, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD type symptoms, harassment, past abuse hinted.

You were sure the car behind you was one you had seen before, as it popped up four times on your walk home you started feeling anxious. The first time has been when you left work, it was parked across the road with lights turned off as you left the building. The second and third time were when you went and left the supermarket to get dinner ingredients that you had forgotten yesterday. This time however, you were sure it was following you as you walked home. And if you were right it belonged to your abusive ex-boyfriend, one that you hadn’t seen in over two years since you threw him out after you gathered the strength to do so.

You knew not to walk too fast or too slow, you were holding a deodorant can in your pocket and had your safety alarm in your other hand with your keys. Your main issue was getting home safe. If you went home, he would follow you and know where you live. If you went to a friend’s house, she could be in danger and you didn’t want anyone to experience what you had. At the same time, it was getting a little dark and being out after sunset was just as bad. You could feel the memories of the abuse flash through your mind like a film reel, the familiar feeling of terror as you re-lived what happened. Your breath was catching in your throat as you walked, not from exertion but from sheer panic. You tried the breathing techniques your therapist had given you, tried thinking about you lovely boyfriend and the happy memories you had made together, but nothing stopped the darkness clouding your brain.

On impulse, you dialled Koutaro’s number, knowing he was at practice there was a small chance he would pick up and if he didn’t, your best friend was next. Glancing behind you again, you stayed on busy main roads as you walked, willed and prayed to God that he picked up his phone. Weaving through people hoping that he would lose sight of you and give up, at least long enough for you to get home safely.

“Hey gorgeous, I was just going to message you. I-“

“Kou... Kou... I...l...”

Your voice broke off in sobs as you spoke, the world around you seeming too small and the noises too loud as you walked. You had a small idea where you were, relying on muscle memory walking around the city but right now, all you cared about was the car that kept coming in and out your vision.

“Baby, whats’s wrong? Where are you?”

“I...”

Bokuto could hear your voice catch as you spoke, the sound hitting him right in the chest and making his heart hurt, he hated being on the other side of the city as he practiced for his upcoming match. It wasn’t often that he heard you like this, the nightmares had decreased and apart from the one time you opened up about a past relationship, you had never been this fearful.

“Baby, listen. It’s me, its Kou. Focus on my voice ok? Forget everything else. I love you. Tell me where you are.”

“I don’t know, Kou.” A pause as he heard you take a deep breath. “I’m scared.”

“I know, baby. Tell me what you see ok? You know this city way better than I do. Remember when I got lost on the way to your house? How late was I to our first date? I’m so lucky you agreed to a second one. You know this city like the back of your hand.”

You focused on the sound of his voice, the usual soothing melody as he spoke to you. The same voice that lulled you to sleep when you had a bad dream and screamed with happiness when you played games together. The one that groaned in your ear when he was too tired to moved or whispered how good it felt being inside you. Your bubbly, cute baby owl boyfriend. Remembering the instance he spoke about, he had gotten so lost that he was an hour late for your first date. You, thinking you had been stood up, had changed out your outfit and into a onesie. By the time he arrived, he had sweat through his shirt and looked like he’d walked about 50 miles. Being hesitant about the second date, he showed up with flowers an hour early and patiently waited outside while you got ready. His logic being the he could make the time up... somehow.

Telling him what you could see and reading out the name of the roads, you could hear his team in the background. Hinata being over-excited as usual, you could imagine him jumping up and down annoying everyone while Kageyama beat him up. While the other members were mumbling other background, Atsumu’s distinct accent was clear compared to everyone else. They were always so lively when you visited, jumping to talk to you or show you new moves, always thankful for the food and snacks you bought. Even if it made your boyfriend super jealous.

“Well done, baby. You’re doing so well. I’m so proud of you. Listen, you’re near Akaashi’s house ok? Remember him? He’s a year younger than me? We played in high school together. You met at our school reunion a while back. He’s a comic designer now.”

Casting your mind back, you nodded to yourself when you remembered the calm guy with dark hair that your boyfriend got along with so well despite being complete opposing personalities. The number of times you had heard ‘Akaashi’ shouted at various points, you had taken to copying Bokuto that night, much to Akaashi’s chagrin and your boyfriend’s delight.

“He’s expecting you ok? He’s a good friend of mine baby, I trust him with my life. He’ll keep you safe until I get there.”

Giving you his address, you started walking towards his apartment, it was near a main road and looking around you couldn’t see the vehicle anywhere. The panic from earlier still humming through your veins as you walked towards your destination.

“Kou, but-“

“Baby, don’t start saying anything. I know you’re thinking that you’re disrupting practice or ruining my game. That it’s a headache coming all the way over there when you haven’t even told me what’s wrong.”

His tone was calm and collected, but his words rang straight through your brain triggering your panic even further and the tears that had dried now coming back full force.

“Kou. I’m sorry.”

“Woah, hey. Don’t ever apologise. Ok? I never wanna hear you apologise for stuff like this. I’m leaving now. Go to Akaashi’s house and I’ll be there in as soon as I can, ok?”

“Ok, Kou. Thank you.”

“Welcome, baby. Love you.”

Waiting around for your boyfriend was making you edgy, you couldn’t sit still. What if your ex had seen Bokuto? What if he’d seen you come here? But you hadn’t seen him, a car was easy to spot right? What if he was tracking you? You had changed your number though? Akaashi had popped in twice to check on you, once to bring you a blanket and hot tea and the second time to ask if you wanted food. The tea was swirling in your stomach, the crying had made you fell nauseous and you were sure that your stomach would revolt against any food. Hearing voices from the hallway, your body tensed expecting the worst.

He found you.

He was going to hurt you again.

Instead, familiar grey-black hair popped up from behind the door and while your heart was still in your throat, the sight of him made the thread of fear loosen a little. Dropping his bag, Bokuto walked over to you before kneeling in front of you and holding your face in his hands as he leaned his forehead against yours. Thumbs wiping away any remnants of tears, he kissed you nose, cheeks and forehead before pulling you into his arms. The feel of his arms around you, the scent of his aftershave and faint smell of sweat from his sports wear eased the tension in your body a little but could do nothing against the sobs that broke free again.

“Shh, it’s ok baby. I got you. I’ll always have you. You’re safe now.”

“Kou... I saw him. He... he was behind me.”

Bokuto knew instantly who you meant, he wished he could personally do something about him but between his career and your fear, the idea of beating your ex to a pulp didn’t seem plausible. While he wasn’t super close with Daichi, he knew Kuroo was and was going to reach out and do something about it. Holding you at arms length, he brushed away your tears and kissed your forehead again, linking your wrists together so your couple bracelets latched on to each other. They were something you had seen on TikTok, two bracelets with magnets that would link when they were close. You thought he would reject the idea at first, but Bokuto thought they were the best way to show everyone you were his girl. Plus it gave him a great excuse to your hold hand when you went everywhere.

“See, baby? Look how these magnets find each other and attract one another. Just like you and me. Nothing could keep me away from you. I’ll always find you. Okay?”

You nodded, glancing down at the bracelets and then up at your boyfriend. His amber eyes full of worry but love and the way he held you like you were something so precious.

“Plus, if he tries anything I’ll beat him up, have you seen these muscles baby?”

You snorted as Bokuto flexed his arm, muscles straining against the sleeve of his tee and couldn’t help but fall into his chest giggling as he squished you. The tears from earlier forgotten as you embraced the loving nature of your gorgeous boyfriend.

[imjustwritingg]

everything has changed

remember a few weeks ago when I said I didn’t know if I’d ever write fic again… well that didn’t last because 8x03 happened and I couldn’t stop my brain from thinking about it for the life of me and this is what came of it. this is my take on 8x03 with speculation for 8x04 and lots of feels in between. also, everything has changed by Taylor Swift was written for Upstead. enjoy and let me know what you think!

also on AO3 and FF.net  




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[ and your eyes look like comin' home all I know is a simple name everything has changed all I know is you held the door and you'll be mine and I'll be yours all I know since yesterday is everything has changed ]

----

Gain something, you give something up…

Maybe, but not always…

It’s been a long time since I saw you as just my partner…

Three years of anticipation and curiosity and pushing down feelings she thought she shouldn’t have ever had has led her to this moment. This moment where she is kissing her partner and it wasn’t some concoction from her dreams or deepest thoughts or what could have been scenarios. It was real and it was happening and he had kissed her first.

Neither had anticipated their night turning into what it did. A stop at a local pub to do their thing that always works, to unwind after their long day, to talk about the offer she’d received from the Feds. Now here they were with their lips pressing against one another’s. Jay’s arms around Hailey’s back, her arms around his neck and one of her hands crawling down his chest in slow motion. Her head was fuzzy, a combination of both whiskey and Jay on her lips, and it was sending her into a tailspin. She kisses him back, matching his ferocity with her own after years of holding back how she feels for the man before her. A man who became her partner, then quickly her best friend. One of the few people she had in her life that she knew she could trust completely, and whom she did blindly and without question.

She felt his arms tighten around her in the slightest of ways, pulling her closer against him despite there being no space left between them. She was flush against him, his hard chest anchoring her in place and keeping her from losing her balance like she had moments ago when he took her by surprise and kissed her in the middle of a slightly crowded bar.

Hailey couldn’t be sure how long they stood there in front of the tabletop with their lips still exploring and hands gripping tightly. A combination of swallowed moans and slips of tongue that neither could seem to get enough of. A new, but familiar feeling of one another that felt like coming home after a long day on the job.

It wasn’t time or a need for breathing that broke them apart, rather a loud clearing of a throat and then the sound of a stranger’s voice from somewhere behind them.

“Hey bro. Why don’t you and your girl get a room or something man?”

The pair breaks apart then, turning and catching the smirks of a group of friends at the table behind them. Jay shakes his head and smiles at them, clearing his own throat before he says, “Yeah, sorry guys. Guess we forgot where we were for a bit.”

He gives them a quick nod before turning back to face his partner. She had her head tilted down slightly and her bottom lip was pulled between her teeth, but he could see the tint of pink in her cheeks and on the tips of her ears.

“Is Hailey Upton blushing right now?” He couldn’t help, but tease.

Hailey lifts her eyes to meet his and offers him a shy smile. “We just got scolded by strangers for making out in a bar, so yeah, a little bit.”

Jay grins back at her, stepping forward and closing the space between them again.

“I kinda wanna do it again,” he tells her.

Hailey raises a perfect eyebrow at him. “The making out or getting scolded?”

Jay can only roll his eyes at her like she doesn’t know the answer to her own question, but he looks at her with a wide smile and bright eyes.

“Not a bad idea though,” Hailey says a moment later.

“What’s that?” He asks.

He doesn’t miss the way she swallows almost nervously now or how her fingers have begun fiddling with the bottom hem of his shirt beneath his jacket, but she keeps her eyes on him, nonetheless.

“Us getting a room. My place is closer. I mean, if you want to continue- “

“Yes,” he cuts her off without a second thought and reaches for her free hand that hangs at her side.

He weaves his fingers through hers and gives her a quick squeeze before leading her to the door. The thought doesn’t escape him how right her small hand feels in his much larger one, how their fingers intertwine almost like perfectly placed puzzle pieces. He walks her to her Jeep parked a few spots down from the entrance to the bar and squeezes her hand once more before releasing her so she can open the driver side door.

“I’ll follow you,” he says and the memory of the first time he said those same words to her flashes through his head. He can’t help the smile that it brings to his face as he realizes how different things are between them now compared to back then.

Hailey offers him a smile of her own in return and a quick nod as she stands in between Jay and her open car door. She doesn’t miss the double meaning behind his words. She remembers them well. The time when it started going downhill for her. Before she made her mistakes. Before she crossed lines and Voight sent her away in hopes that it would help get her head straight.

“I’ll see you in a bit then,” she says.

He only nods, a small smirk peeking out at the corners of his mouth before he leans forward and kisses her slowly. A complete one-eighty to the urgency their lips held just minutes ago inside the bar.

When he pulls away he’s grinning fully and he just shrugs his shoulders at the look of her wondering eyes.

“One for the road,” he says with boyish charm to answer her unspoken thoughts.

Hailey lets out a laugh and shakes her head before she turns to get into her car and starts the engine.  She watches him through the window as he closes her door, then follows his movements through her rearview mirror as he makes his way towards his truck parked across the street. It’s then she gets distracted by the look of her reflection in the mirror and the wide grin that’s plastered on her face.

The whole night has felt surreal to her and a large part of her is still unsure about what it all means now. They’ve tipped the scale of their partnership, of their friendship, into uncharted territory. Neither really knowing where they’ll go from here, but she thinks back on his words from just moments ago.

I’ll follow you.

She knows he means them in ways not only in the realm of following her home to continue what they’ve started here tonight. He’d follow her anywhere. Just like she would do the same for him without any hesitation. She knows they’ll be okay even though everything has changed now. She knows this thing between them is real. That it isn’t one-sided, that it hasn’t all been a manifestation of overthinking or grasping at straws over the last few years. That he feels it too.

She clicks her seatbelt on and pulls her car out of its spot, catching Jay flipping a U-turn on the empty street out of her side mirror. A sudden burst of something fills inside of her as she drives home, Jay right behind her.

Butterflies. Anticipation. Curiosity of what’s to come. She realizes then as she’s driving that she’s still grinning like some love-struck teenager and the nerves overtake her. She knows where the rest of night will lead. She’s a grown woman and it’s not the first time she’s been in bed with someone, but the fact that, that someone is about to be Jay brings that fuzzy feeling back to the forefront of her head in a slightly different way. A tick of nervous energy now clouding her mind, but she shuts it down as soon as it appears because it is Jay.

Partner. Best friend. Confidant. The man who she knows she loves whole heartedly and unconditionally even though she hasn’t yet said the words out loud.

When they arrive at her place not even ten minutes later, she parks her car quickly in the driveway and waits at the back of it as Jay parks on the street in front of her door. She watches him as he gets out and approaches her, a grin appearing on his face as soon as his eyes meet hers. He doesn’t waste a second before he attaches his lips to hers and she’s kissing him back instantly, her hands going to the back of his head and his finding their way to rest on her waist.

When they break away, what feels like an eternity later, their foreheads lean against one another’s and Hailey opens her eyes to see him staring right back at her. She can’t help the smile that overtakes her as she takes in his bright green eyes and the freckles on his face and a smile that matches her own.

“Couldn’t wait ‘til we got inside huh, Halstead?” She teases.

He shakes his head at her and pulls back just slightly. “I’m gonna wanna do that all the time now.”

“I know the feeling,” she says in an almost whisper.

She releases her hold on the back of his head and reaches for one of his hands before leading him to her front door. Once they’re inside and the door has been locked behind them, it’s nothing, but roaming hands and dueling lips and quick steps to her bedroom. Clothes are pulled off in a hurry to feel more skin and explore freely, and they’re thrown haphazardly in places unknown while the two fall onto Hailey’s bed in a tangled heap.

When Hailey wakes in the middle of the night - or rather morning, she feels a heavy arm across her naked back. She realizes she’s on her stomach, hair splayed out over pillows, and a lingering buzz of satiation still vibrating through her limbs. She’s facing Jay and watches him as he continues to sleep soundly and she wonders for a moment just how long she can hold her bladder because she doesn’t want to leave her spot in bed next to him.

Hailey curses herself silently, the need to pee winning out, and she forces herself to slip from the bed as quickly and quietly as she can. She grabs her flannel off the floor and pulls it on before making her way to the bathroom. When she returns a minute later she’s not all that surprised to see her partner awake and sitting up in her bed against the headboard, the lamp from a nightstand table now Illuminating her bedroom in dim light.

She runs a hand through her messy bed head, bottom lip tucked between her teeth and another shy smile on her face. She climbs back into her bed, tucks her legs under the duvet and leans back against the headboard next to Jay.

“Hey you,” he says quietly, as if he’s afraid to break the silence between them, albeit however comfortable it somehow feels given what they did through the night.

“Hey you back,” Hailey nearly whispers, matching his tone.

She watches him as he watches her, a thousand thoughts running through both their heads, but neither knowing quite where to begin. He surprises her though when he gets right to it, seemingly not afraid to start the conversation they know they need to have.

“So, we kissed.”

Hailey almost rolls her eyes at his bluntness, but instead nods. “Yeah, we did.”

“We kissed a lot. Among other things,” he says with a smug look on his face.

Hailey blushes for the umpteenth time that night and it’s then that Jay realizes it’s a look he loves to see on her. Her flushed cheeks and the shyness on her face are something new and he can’t help smiling at her, almost cockily, because he knows he’s the one that has brought out this side of her. It’s a side of her he wants to see again and again.

The only thing she can offer him is another short nod. And then, “Mmhmm, we did that too.”

“Where’s your head at Upton?” He asks her a beat later.

The nervous tone his voice carries doesn’t go unnoticed and as much as the best friend-partner sides of her would love to tease him, she doesn’t and chooses instead to go for complete honesty.

“Cloud nine,” she replies.

He raises an eyebrow, that cocky grin still on his face.

“Still?”

“What can I say, you made a lasting impression,” she tells him with a smirk now as her shyness dissolves and her usual bold self returns.

He laughs then, eyes bright and a residual smile on his face, causing her to grin wider because his laugh has become one of her favorite sounds aside from the guttural moans she’d been privy to just a short while earlier.

He reaches an arm out to her, his hand quickly finding hers, and he holds it tight. Fingers twining together perfectly again as his eyes stare right into hers.

“You’re not the only one that it’s been a long time for ya know? I can’t tell you the exact moment because there have been a lot of them between us, but I’m in this. Completely. I want you to know that Hails.”

It isn’t lost on her that it’s the first time he uses the nickname. How quickly things have changed between them, but how normal it all still feels somehow. Like they’ve been doing this for forever.

As Hailey takes in his words she can feel the tears forming in her eyes. She can recall on one hand the number of times he’s really seen her cry and hearing those words come out of his mouth is just about euphoric to her. She knows they’ve both been here before with people they work with and she knows they’ve both been cracked open and left empty because of it. But she also knows how hard it is for him to show this side of himself. To be vocal about his feelings and what he wants.

She already knew he felt the same way as her. The events that night that led them to him being naked in her bed prove that on their own, but hearing him say those words out loud puts an ache in her chest. The best kind of ache. Because she’s shown again just how real all of this is between them. It's the kind of real that crushes you and splits you wide open all at the same time. The kind of real that you feast on, but it always leaves you starving. The kind of real that pulls the breath right out of you, but somehow still keeps you high all day long.

Hailey finds herself speechless, afraid her voice will break if she speaks, so she keeps her eyes on his, nods along and squeezes his hand to let him know she hears him. That she gets it. That she’s in it too.

When she finds her voice a moment later, Hailey takes a deep breath, still caught up in the moment and the confession Jay made and the way she can quite literally feel the electric current between them as his hand stays clasped together with hers.

“I meant it earlier when I said you make me better,” she tells him.

He keeps his eyes on her, but stays quiet. He knows her well enough by the look on her face she has more to say so all he does is squeeze her hand again, a silent nudge to continue.

“I know it won’t be easy, Jay,” she starts, taking another deep breath before she continues. “I’m not naïve enough to think it would be and I know we’ve both been down this road before and it hasn’t worked out well for either of us, but I also know the only regret I’d have about this is not giving it a real shot.”

Her tears have long since fallen and she uses the back of her free hand to wipe at her eyes trying to reel in her emotions. The weight of the situation and the implications are making everything that much heavier. More real. There’s a tiny part of her that wishes they could just bypass this slightly awkward, but quite necessary conversation and put it to bed for another time that’s not near five in the morning after the first time they’ve slept together.

And then, as if reading her mind, Jay lets go of her hand and brings his up to the side of her neck. His hold is gentle as his thumb traces over her skin and he leans forward to press his lips to hers. It’s the slowest, most tantalizing of kisses, as if he’s trying to convey every single thing he feels for her inside of him into this one moment. And she reciprocates with steady brushes of her lips and tongue against his as her arms reach for him almost on autopilot. One wraps around his neck and the other around his waist, and then she’s pulling him on top of her and holding him tight against her with her legs around his hips. He holds himself over her, keeping most of his weight off of her and on one arm, while his other hand is traveling down the side of her body. He drags his lips from her mouth to her cheek, down her jaw and to her neck, placing tortuously slow kisses across her skin.  

He’s just about to reach for the buttons of her flannel when there’s a loud vibration that sounds through the room. It’s followed by a succession of ringing and they both freeze, hoping it’s a one off, until another phone goes off in the same fashion and they know that duty is literally calling.

Jay groans out against her neck in obvious annoyance, but doesn’t protest when she moves a hand to his chest and presses it firmly against him. He knows they have a job to do, so he drops one final kiss below her ear before rolling off of her to the empty side of her bed and reaches for his boxers on the floor. He stands and pulls them on, then makes his way towards his jeans by the door to fish out his phone from the front pocket. He gives a quick look through it before looking over at Hailey.

“It’s Kev. We got a homicide,” he tells her as he begins typing out a response to the officer.

Hailey nods once and then she’s off the bed to get dressed while Jay pulls on his jeans and goes to find his shirt.

“Think anyone will notice I’m in the same clothes from yesterday?” She hears him call out to her while she’s in the bathroom. He can hear her laugh from the half open doorway and then she’s in front of him in a fresh pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.

“It’s early so maybe not. Just zip your jacket up all the way and we should be good,” she tells him as she steps out of the bathroom.

He nods in agreement and less than five minutes later the pair are ready to leave, but Jay stops her in front of the door with a teasing smile on his face.

“What is it?” She asks him.

“How is it, in the last few years of us working together and being as close as we are, I don’t have a change of clothes here at your place?”

His question catches her off guard, but makes her wonder the same thing. All the time they’ve spent together and the checking in, and them doing their thing that works after a long day or tough case or just because.

All she offers him is a shrug and a small smile before she says, “Guess we’ll have to change that.”

He takes a step towards her and reaches a hand inside her jacket to clutch her waist. His fingers sneak below the hem of her sweatshirt until he feels warm skin and he pulls her closer to him. He lifts his other hand up to her face and around the back of her neck before leaning down and kissing her. She kisses him back instantly, her own hands finding their way to his chest, gripping tight to his jacket. They get lost in the moment for several beats, enjoying the new, but familiar feel of their lips moving against each other.  

Hailey pulls back first despite her body screaming at her not to. She wants more than anything to pull him back against her and kiss him some more, but she’s always been more of the voice of reason despite her previous acts of crossing lines and she knows they have a job to do.

“We gotta go,” Hailey reminds him and he nods in reply before releasing her completely.

“We’ll finish this later,” she promises.

“Hell yes we will,” he tells her and she can’t help rolling her eyes this time, but she smiles at him, nonetheless.

They head out the door, Hailey locking up behind them, and the pair walk side by side out to his truck. They’re headed to Garfield Park which takes less than fifteen minutes with the truck’s flashing lights and the near empty streets given the early morning hour and a global pandemic. There’s a stupid grin stuck in place on her face again since the moment Jay put the truck in drive and then reached for her hand across the middle console. There’s another moment where she thinks this newfound intimacy and the way he holds her hand has become another of her favorite things. He weaves his fingers through hers and doesn’t let go until he pulls up to the crime scene.

“Ready partner?” He asks as he kills the engine and looks over at her in the passenger seat.

“Yeah, you?” She counters.

“Let’s get to work,” he says throwing a wink at her.

The pair hop out of the truck and make their way over to their Sergeant, sharing a quick glance between them as the rest of the team show up in near synchronicity. They’re filled in on what’s going on and as they all fan out after being given their marching orders, Hailey can’t deny the familiarity that once again comes over her as her and her partner work side by side like the last several hours didn’t even happen.

It’s another reassurance that they’ll be okay. That they’ll make it. That as much as everything has changed between them, their thing that has always worked hasn’t changed one bit.

[chickwiththepurpleguitar]

build a new silhouette in the skylines up ahead

@weneedglitter Parenting!

ok so i wasn’t gonna write a new thing and then @sunsetcurvecuddles and @oldsmobile-hotdogs convinced me to write a new thing, sooooo. Read on ao3 here!

Post-Orpheum. Ray/Rose plus Bobby, can be read as romantic or platonic, whatever you want (though my wip document for this was called Parenting so do with that what you will). Featuring a lot of Puerto Rican terms of endearment cause I could. 

--

Rose isn’t quite sure what wakes her. The alarm clock on the bedside table reads just after 2am. The night is dark and quiet outside her bedroom window. Next to her, Ray sleeps soundly on his stomach, snoring with his face buried in his pillow. But Rose is used to that, reaches over almost without thinking to bury a hand in his hair and gently tug his head sideways so he can breathe. It could be any night, calm and familiar, since they moved in together. It still doesn’t explain what dragged her from her dreamless sleep six hours before her alarm, or why she’s got this odd tingling feeling in the back of her mind—the kind of feeling her abuela would call her “maternal instincts” and set Rose off on a feminist rant about the oppressive expectations of motherhood on women under the age of 30–telling her that something’s wrong.

It takes her another few minutes of breathing into the silence, glancing around her room like she’s waiting for some monster to pop out of the shadows, and then something catches her ear from outside: a distant clanging sound, like metal against metal. 

Her eyes widen, and Rose scrambles out of bed with a muttered curse, hurrying to the window to make sure she’s come to the right conclusion. Luckily, her bedroom overlooks the driveway connected to their little townhouse, so she barely has to flick the curtains aside to glimpse Ray’s junk-bucket van and, just visible from this distance two floors up, the legs sticking out from underneath it. 

Rose sighs, one hand on the windowsill, and considers just throwing it open and shouting down for her insomniatic roommate to go the fuck to sleep. But she knows he won’t listen, and that it’ll only make him feel more guilty for inconveniencing her than he already does, so instead she turns back to the bed and crouches down to place a gentle hand on her boyfriend’s shoulder, leaning in close to murmur in his ear. “Ray? Can you wake up for me?” He groans, and a smile plays at Rose’s lips. “I know, papi chulo, but I need you to wake up, just for a minute.”

Ray grunts, but obediently rubs at his face and pushes himself up. “What’s wrong, is everything okay?” he murmurs, his voice a groggy rasp, still clearly half-asleep and yet alert with concern.

Rose’s heart tugs with so much gratitude for him. “He’s tinkering again,” is all she says.

Ray nods, rubs his hands down his face one more time, and then blinks owlishly, his gaze settling on Rose. “I’ll get the coffee, meet you out there?”

“You’re the best.” 

She darts forward to kiss him and then they both reluctantly get to their feet, moving in sync, Ray tousling his already-mussed-up hair as he heads straight for the kitchen while Rose throws on a bathrobe over her pajamas and slides her feet into slippers. She pauses only to grab her keys, a bottle of water, and the bottle of Imitrex from the kitchen cabinet, kisses Ray once more on the cheek where he stands scooping Café Bustelo into the cafetiera, and hurries out the door and down the stairs into the night.

Ray’s bright orange 70s van sits up on blocks in the driveway. It broke down yesterday for about the sixth time this month when Ray was coming home from work; he had to push it the last two and a half blocks. Really, they should’ve seen this coming.

As Rose gets closer, she gets a better glimpse of the legs sticking out from under the van, loose black sweatpants and grubby sneakers, feet tapping the concrete to the beat of music Rose can just barely hear, muffled but pounding like it’s blasting through headphones. She sits on the curb and gently nudges the tapping foot with one of her own. It freezes, the music abruptly stops, there’s the unmistakable clanging of tools being tossed back into their toolbox, and then Bobby rolls out from under the car on his makeshift dolly, tugging off the headphones connected to the Walkman hooked to his waistband. He’s shirtless and almost ghostly pale in the dim streetlights, the dark circles under his eyes standing out in stark contrast as he sits up and braces his hands on the ground behind him, blinking widely up at her. 

“I woke you up,” he says, voice hoarse and crackly like he’s been sick. Or crying. “I was trying to be quiet.”

This is something Rose has learned about Bobby in the last few weeks. He gives reasons, never excuses. And he never apologizes, not directly, not with words. She can’t help but wonder if this has always been true of him, or if it’s a tendency he’s only developed since that terrible night at the Orpheum. 

She shakes her head, forgiving him, and holds out the water and pills she brought. He makes a face but takes them and comes over to sit next to her. “I’m fine,” he says unconvincingly, even as he cracks the water bottle open and takes a sip with a pained wince.

Rose waits until he’s popped two of the pills and drunk half the water before she lets herself relax, scooting closer with a feigned shiver (even though it’s a warm August night and she’s wearing more clothes than he is) so that she can get away with pressing into his side, offering comfort he didn’t ask for under the guise of seeking some extra warmth. “Ray’s making coffee.”

“Shit,” Bobby whispers, rubbing at his forehead. “I woke him up, too.” He doesn’t apologize, but she can tell he means to in the tightness of his jaw, the shadows on his face. 

“Actually, I did.” Rose bumps her shoulder against his, making him blush and duck his head away from her gaze. “I thought you could use some company.”

Bobby shakes his head, drinks some more water, winces with every swallow. For a long time, he says nothing, and Rose doesn’t push him, just sits there next to him, ready and waiting to listen when he can find the right words to say. He frowns into the middle distance for another minute or so, then shakes his head again like he’s refusing some unwelcome thought and says, “I just couldn’t sleep. My head hurt.”

She slowly reaches a hand up, telegraphing every inch of movement, ready to stop if Bobby so much as flinches, and strokes his hair back out of his face. He tenses up at the touch and then sinks into it, a shudder running through him. He drops his head onto Rose’s shoulder and she abandons all pretense, carding her fingers through the silky strands of his hair, gently rubbing some of the tension lines out of his forehead. “Your head hurts because you don’t sleep, muñeco,” she murmurs.

Bobby raises his head just enough to shoot her an annoyed glare—he claims not to like the Spanish terms of endearment she and Ray throw around, claims he doesn’t know what they mean and therefore thinks they’re making fun of him—but there’s no real heat to it, and he returns his head to her shoulder a moment later, nuzzling in closer as she strokes his hair. “I can’t,” he says after another long silence, so quietly Rose almost doesn’t hear him. “Every time I close my eyes, I see them. I just can’t stop seeing them.”

Rose tugs him closer into her side, presses a kiss to the top of his head, smiles into his hair when he makes a disgruntled noise but doesn’t actively protest. 

This is something else she’s learned about him. Bobby wants so badly to be touched, so badly to be cared for, so badly to be loved. But it must be given freely to him. Because he’ll never ask.

Behind them, the front door creaks open, and Rose turns her head to give Ray a tired but grateful smile as he joins them in his ratty pajamas and socked feet, carrying two steaming mugs of coffee. He hands one to Rose and keeps the other for himself, then settles down on the curb on Bobby’s other side, pressing in close as he sips his coffee. Bobby sits up and frowns at him, mock-offended. “Hey, where’s mine?”

Ray shakes his head, doesn’t even look at him. “Mm-mm. You don’t get coffee until you sleep through the night. House rules, cariño.”

Bobby makes a face and turns to Rose for help. She just laughs into her own mug, shrugging unapologetically, and Bobby pouts. 

“How can there be house rules when you don’t even own a house?” he grumbles, but shuffles closer, leaving Rose’s gentle hold to press his face into Ray’s shoulder. “God, I’m exhausted.”

Rose drinks her coffee and rubs soothing circles into Bobby’s back, feeling the too-thin, too-cold planes of his shoulder blades. A shudder runs through him that might be from the cold, the touch, or something else entirely. Rose meets Ray’s gaze over the boy’s head, sad and sympathetic and more worried than either of them has any right to be at 21 and 23. They may be older than Bobby, but they’re practically still kids themselves, and yet somehow in the last month they’ve taken this frail, broken boy under their wing, and sometimes they don’t know how to help him, don’t know if they can, but other times, like this, just being there for him is enough.

“They would’ve liked you,” Bobby says into Ray’s shirt sleeve, tensing under Rose’s hand. He doesn’t specify whom he means, and he doesn’t have to. Rose will never forget their names, even if she only heard them once, couldn’t even bear to read the article about them after that damn reporter tried to track Bobby down for a comment. Luke. Reggie. Alex. Bobby’s band. Bobby’s boys.

“If they loved you, nene, then I’m sure we would’ve liked them, too,” Ray says softly. This is what Rose loves most about him, these moments when she doesn’t know what to say, how to soothe, but he does, always. She’s so grateful for him, her sweet Ray who never met Sunset Curve, never knew Bobby before he was broken, not even for the hour that Rose did, and welcomed him into their lives anyway, didn’t question or complain for a second when Rose said, Meet me at the hospital. He can’t go back there. Please, mi corazón, can’t we help him?

Bobby shudders again, and Rose thinks he might be crying, but he makes no sound as he slumps forward, arms around Ray’s waist, face buried in Ray’s chest. Ray startles just the slightest amount, lifting his coffee cup out of the way so that it won’t spill, and then slowly lowers his arms to cautiously wrap around the boy. Rose reaches over and takes his mug for him, places them both on the curb next to her, and leans in to join the hug, pressing her lips to Bobby’s bare shoulder and whispering senseless reassurances into his skin. 

Later, Ray carries a sleeping Bobby back into the house and lays him down in Ray and Rose’s bed, and they climb in on either side of him and hold him close as he gets his first full night’s sleep since the 22nd of July. 

In the morning, Bobby shuffles into the kitchen bleary-eyed and squinty, moving slowly like he always does when he’s coming down from a migraine and doesn’t want to risk making it flare up again. Rose nudges him until he agrees to eat some breakfast, and Ray places a mug of fresh Cuban coffee in front of him with a kiss to his forehead and a whispered, “You earned it, bonbón.” Bobby doesn’t thank them, but he doesn’t need to.

“I’ll finish fixing the van today, Ray,” he promises once he’s finished eating. “And Rose, I noticed some of your guitars need re-stringing, if you want me to take a look.”

Rose exchanges a sort of fondly exasperated look with Ray across the table and strokes Bobby’s hair out of his face. “We already told you, Bobby. You don’t need to earn your keep. You just focus on getting better, and let us take care of you, okay?”

He blushes, ducks his head, but nods and mutters, “Yeah, sure, okay.”

Ray reaches a hand out across the table, palm up, pointer finger extended. Rose grins and links her finger with his, then nudges Bobby’s shoulder. He looks up, confused, and then his face relaxes in understanding and he manages something almost approaching a smile as he reaches out and taps his index finger against theirs, not quite joining Ray’s little handshake but not refusing it either. It’s good enough.

As they sit there, the three of them, Ray and Rose forcing water and painkillers on Bobby and giving him judgmental looks when he pours a second cup of coffee, Rose wonders if this is what parenting will feel like, when someday (in the very distant future, Abuela) she and Ray are ready to have kids (because there is no doubt in her mind that she will marry this man). They’re not Bobby’s parents—not even close—but she thinks he might be good practice for them anyway. In late nights and little sleep. In how to work their lives around someone else’s wants and needs. In caring for someone with so much of your heart you hurt when they do. 

She thinks they’re doing a pretty damn good job at it, too. 

--

Taglist: @whenweremarried @sunsethimb0s @pink-flame @penguin0613 @fighttoshine @sunsetcurvecuddles @nickalicious @reggiescrookedteeth @brightattheorpheum @queenmolina @spidergirl0325 @jandthephantoms @lexilucacia @sapphossidechick @acnhaddict @cest-la-vie-de-la-lee @sunset-bobby @lenacarstairspotterstewart @moreflowersthanweeds @conversationaltreestump @burntchromas @shellydominique 

[youresog0lden]

House on the Hills || M.G.G

WC: 3.4k 

WARNINGS: MENTION OF BIRTH, AND CURSING

SUMMARY: based of this request 

AN: forever and never will be out tonight !! This isn’t apart of 25 days of Spencer !! 

MASTERLIST

25 DAYS OF SPENCER 

“Hey Grandma can you tell us the story of how you met Grandpa?” her tiny little voices asked. 

“Of course baby. Come here.” she walks to my lap and sits down looking up at me. 

“Let’s start shall we?” 

--- 

“Hey mom I’m going to the park down the street.” I heard a faint okay before walking down the stairs and to the park. It was a new town not that big and my parents and I had just moved too and I was 10. I didn’t think anything of it, I just wanted to check the place out. When I got there, there were a bunch of kids playing with their friends but one of them caught my eyes. He was all by himself on the swings so I walked over to him. He looked down at my shoes then up at me. I smiled at him. 

“Hi I’m Y/N.” I smiled. 

“I just moved here yesterday.” I held my hand out. He took it smiling back at me. 

“Hi! I’m Matthew. How are you liking it so far?” he asked. 

“It’s cool here. It’s weird because I don’t have any friends here but besides that it’s cool I guess.” 

“Well now you have one friend.” he smiled at me. I let out a small laugh feeling a blush crawl up my neck. 

-- 

Ever since that day we were inseparable.  We grew up together and ever since that time the park was our place where we’d meet each other, bring snacks we stole from our parents and hang out until it got dark. Then he’d walk me home and tell my parents ‘hi’ they obviously loved him. He was a sweet and caring boy. I met his parents and after that we went over to each other's houses everyday even when school started. 

“Hey Y/N/N” 

“Yes.” 

“Thank you for being my friend. I don’t have many and-” I stopped him before he said anything else. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug. 

“Don’t thank me. Anyone would be more than willing to have you as a best friend.” 

--

The first time I realized I was in love with him was in 10th grade. He gave me his jacket at a football game, I dragged him too. He told me I looked cold and I needed it. So I took it, the look on his face was so pure. He was smiling so hard, his arm wrapped around my shoulder careful not to lose me. I smiled leaning in closer to him. We went to my house that night for a little bit. My parents didn’t care that he spent the night, they knew he was my best friend and nothing was going to happen. So we laid down and looked at the ceiling. 

“Matthew.” I said softly, rolling to my side to look at him. He did the same looking at me nodding his head. 

“I think I want to try out for the School’s play.” 

“You should. You’d do amazing.” 

“I was thinking…” 

“Mhm” 

“You should try out with me. You are an amazing actor. They would love you.” my hand moved up to push the hair out of his face. He grabs my hand holding it. 

“Really, you think so?” 

“Yes, I know so.” I look at our hands then back in his eyes. He said a quick ‘fine’ before closing his eyes. I turn around and feel his arm wrap around my waist pulling me closer to him. I smile and kiss our hands. I hear a laugh being let out as I close my eyes and go to sleep. 

--

A few days later we tried out for the play. It was Romeo and Juliet. A classic. Not much longer we found out we got the parts both of us were beyond thrilled. Then rehearsals started and that was basically the only time we got to hang out. We hung out sometimes on the weekends. But if he wasn’t rehearsing, he was spending time with different friends he met. He told me he met them at a skating park downtown, I could tell he loved hanging out with them so if he was happy hanging out with them I was happy for him. It didn’t take much to find out that he had a girlfriend. I can’t say it didn’t hurt but I couldn't let it bother me. He even dropped out of the school play. We never talked anymore. 

“Hey mom. I’m home.” I said setting down my bookbag and walking to the kitchen. 

“Dinner will be done in about an hour.” 

“Actually I was thinking about going out for dinner tonight.” I said. 

“Y/N you know I need more preparation on this.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” I sighed. She didn’t say anything, she just shook her head at me. I don’t say anything. I just head up to my room walking to my closet changing out of my school clothes and into a hoodie and sweats gabbing my keys. 

“I’ll be back soon mom.” I yell shutting the door. I get in my car and drive away. Not sure of where I’m going pretty soon I land at the park. I don’t see anyone there so I turn off my car and walk down to the swings. I look at the sunset in the view watching it go down. It’s not long before I hear talking in the distance. I don’t say anything, I just sit there. Before the voices get louder and I recognize the voice. Matthew. He was holding hands with the girl. It takes me a second to process what's going on, but the next thing I know is I’m getting up and walking to my car as fast as I can. 

“Hey Y/N.” I hear him call out. I don’t say anything I just get in my car and drive away. I finally get home, shutting the door and walking up to my room.

--

Everything after that was awkward. We still didn’t talk but now my parents are starting to notice that he's not coming over anymore. I don’t tell them anything I just say it’s nothing and move on. But they get nosy so they ask Matthew mom and when she says she doesn't know they put it in their discretion to figure it out. We’ve been friends for six years. This was unheard of to not be talking. It’s hard losing a friend so I went through some tough times. Everyone does but now it was different. I stopped caring about school, I dropped out the play, I stopped communicating with my family. Everything I did was in my room. I cried a lot more. Losing your best friend and someone you loved wasn’t easy. Pretty soon I am failing in school and my teachers start to take notice, the same for my parents they get me a tutor. His name was Luke; he helped me in all my classes and soon enough I was back to getting good grades. I also gained a friend and like clockwork Luke and I started hanging out. It was amazing how quick we became friends. 

--

College was coming up quickly and I was thinking of where to apply too. I had a few places in mind. But nothing really stuck. Senior year was a fun year for me. I went to Prom with Luke. He soon became my boyfriend and we were inseparable. We did everything together. We went to prom together, went on our senior trip together but we had to say goodbye soon enough. I decided where I wanted to go. NYU, for film making obviously. It’s always been a passion of mine. I love the idea of being able to capture what I want when I want. I later on found out I got accepted and when I did I was jumping for joy as they would say. I ran down stairs telling my parents and they couldn’t be happier with me. Luke on the other hand. He, he was quite mad. He thought I was going to stay in Vegas with him. I told him I wanted to do this though so we broke up and he was gone with the wind. 

--

Pretty soon I was moved into the building and classes started and life went on. Until one day I was late to class and I walked into the class, my eyes meeting someones I never thought I would see again. Matthew. I just stand there frozen, when the teacher clears their throat and I mumble a quick I’m sorry and walk to my seat. I quickly took out my notebook learning all about the different kinds of cameras you can use, and lens. I couldn’t help but feel someone's eyes on me while I was working, thinking nothing of it. I continue to work. I hear the teacher call the end of class so I pack my things up quickly before speed walking to my dorm. 

“Y/N.” when I heard the voice time stopped and it was like it was just the two of us. I turn around quickly to meet his eyes. I look at him for a second. 

“What.” I spat awful quickly. He looked around before sighing. 

‘“How have you-” I cut him off. 

“Listen I um- I don’t care for this little chit chat so can we go ahead and get this over with because I actually wanted to go back to my dorm and go to sleep.” I said looking up at him. 

“Oh yeah um sorry I just- I wanted to see how you were and maybe ask to catch up one day.” 

“Um yeah sure we can. I guess.” looking at the ground. 

“Ok. Maybe tonight we can go get some food. If you want.” he said looking down at me. 

“Yeah sure. Here.” I pulled out a pen and paper and wrote my number down. 

“Call me.” I said before walking away and towards my dorm. 

--

That night we spent catching up. He kept apologizing saying how sorry he was for just up and leaving. I could tell he meant it so I made him promise that he wouldn't do it again and just like that we feel back into routine like clockwork. Not much time after that he asked me out. 

“Y/N” 

“Yes bub.” I say looking up at him. He let out a quiet little giggle before looking down at me. 

“I um I was wondering if you maybe wanted to- wanted to get some food tomorrow night.” he said rather quickly. 

“Of course I would. You know I would.” I said softly looking at him. 

“No I mean would you go out with me. Like on a date.” he said quietly. I look at him in pure awe before smiling like an idiot. 

“Yes. I would love that.” I smile up at him. 

--

That night started the night of many dates. We went to the park, the fair, out to restaurants. Our parents eventually found out and were ecstatic even though he didn’t ask me to be his girlfriend yet. I was nervous for the day he would but at the same time I have wanted this since tenth grade. The night he did ask me out was the best night anyone could have asked for. It was cheesy and cute. He brought flowers and my favorite movie and we watched it cuddled up on the bed when he whispered in my ear “You know I have wanted to ask you this since ninth grade year.” and I let out a tiny giggle and look up at him saying “what” the next thing he does is pull me in for a kiss. This kiss sent out fireworks through my body. It ignited something I didn’t know was possible. It was slow and passionate. “Will you be my girlfriend.” he whispered against my mouth. I pull him into another kiss just the same as the first. “Yes.” 

--

The first time we told each other I love you was out of the blue. We had our own apartment when he ran in smiling like a goof ball. He runs up to me wrapping his arm around my waist my arms go to his neck almost immediately. 

“Hey bubba.” I kissed the side of his face softly. He pulled back his arms still resting on my waist. 

“Hi baby.” he smiled. 

“What has you in a good mood lovey?” I said. 

“I got the part.” I look at him in shock. 

“You got the part.” 

“I got the part.” he repeated. 

“Holy shit.” I smile with his pampering kisses all over his face. He let out an adorable giggle as I continued to do it.  

“I love you.” he said softly. I stop, looking up at him. My face broke out into the big smile.  

“Say it again.” I smile. 

“I” kiss “love” kiss “you” kiss. 

“I” kiss “love” kiss “you” kiss “to” kiss. 

“One more time.” he laughed looking at me smiling. 

“I’ve always tried to love someone the way I loved you but I couldn’t.” 

-- 

Not long after that was it that he started filming the hit show Criminal Minds and he was getting recognized everywhere we went. So obviously the fans started to have speculations of us. So it wasn’t long before Matthew posted one of his goofy pictures of us with the caption saying “My forever love.” Everyone was a mix of emotions but, I met his cast and soon became good friends with everyone.

-- 

Then one day out of the blue he asks me to go to this certain address. I was confused at first but when I started walking further and further into the place I saw flowers on the ground, cliché but the cutest thing. When I followed the pathway of flowers I saw Matthew standing there on one knee, and at that time no one could stop the smile on my face. 

“Y/N. I have loved you since the day in the park. I don’t think it was possible to love anyone as you. You have bettered me all the years we’ve been together. I love you so much. I consider myself one of the luckiest men to get to know such an incredible, smart, talented, beautiful person like you. Will you do the honors and be Mrs. Gulber.” tears. That’s what was streaming down my face. 

“Yes. Holy shit yes.” crying harder as he jumps up picking me up spinning around. It was a night of joy and celebration. 

--

Standing there in the mirror was nerve wracking. 

“What if he doesn’t like the dress.” I look at Paget standing behind me. 

“He’s going to love it.” she rubbed my shoulders. 

“You ready?” I hear my dad ask from behind me. I turn around looking at him. 

“Dad.” 

“Yes sweetheart?” 

“Thank you for everything.” I kiss the back of his hand. He smiles and kisses my forehead. 

“My girls all grown up.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you.” he said, holding my arm while walking down the aisle. I meet Matthews eyes, and almost like that I have tears in my eyes, same for him. My dad walks me to the end before kissing my forehead again and letting me walk up. I grab Matthews hands looking into his eyes. 

“You ready?” he whispers

“Yeah. You?” he nods before looking at the priest. 

“Everyone take your seat.” 

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, and in the presence of family and friends to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony, which is commended of St. Paul to be an honorable estate, instituted of God and therefore is not to be entered into unadvisedly or carelessly, but reverently, joyfully and in the love of God. Into this holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined.” he started. 

“Who gives this bride to this Groom in marriage?"

“I do.” my father says he takes my hand and places it on Matthew 

"I ask you each now, to repeat the marriage vows."

I Matthew Gray Gubler take you, Y/F/N for my wedded wife, To love and cherish, For better or worse, for richer or poorer, In sickness and in health. From this day forward.”

“I, Y/F/N take you, Matthew Gray Gubler, for my wedded husband, To love and cherish, For better or worse, for richer or poorer, In sickness and in health. From this day forward.”

“As you place this ring on your partner's finger I ask that you repeat these words.” the minister said

“This ring is my sacred gift to you, A symbol of my Love, A sign that from this day forward and always, My Love will surround you, With this ring I thee wed.” tears running down both of our faces as we repeat what he told us too. 

“If anyone wishes to object please do so now.” silence. 

“Okay you may say your vows.”

“I’ll start.” I said softly. 

“Matthew Gray Gubler. You have and always will be the love of my life. I couldn’t picture growing old with someone else. It’s crazy that we’ve known each other for 26 years. I fell in love with you in tenth grade. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a friday night football game and I told you I was cold and you took your jacket off and gave it to me because you didn’t want me to be cold. I looked into your eyes and it was like I could see the world and for a second I could see everything I wanted with you. Here we are with most of everything I wanted and I couldn’t be happier with seeing what the future has in plan for us. I love you.” 

“I don’t know if I could top that but I can certainly try. Y/F/N. Here we are. I’ve always pictured I’d be here with you. Seeing your smile, the tears in your eyes. I’ve dreamed about you being my wife since we were 11. I knew you’d be the perfect match. I mean look at you. You’re smart, caring, beautiful, kind hearted, adventurous, an amazing person to be around. And I don’t think  I could be more thankful for that. You have pushed me to do things I didn’t want to do but made me do it. You were my first supporter and you will be my last. You helped me write my book and you always kept me on time. If I didn’t have you I think I’d be lost right now. I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for everything.” he held my cheeks in his hands looking down while talking to me. I couldn’t help the tears running down my face.

“Sh bubs don’t cry.” he whispered. 

"May the Peace and the Unconditional Love of God surround you and remain with you now and forevermore. Amen."

"You may seal your vows with a kiss.” he placed his lips on mine and just like that it was like the first time we kissed. 

-- 

“So how does it feel being married?”

“Amazing.” I smile. I feel someone's arms wrap around my waist. 

“Hi babe.” I smile connecting my hands with his. 

“Hi Mrs. Gubler.” 

“Can we have Mr. and Mrs. Gubler up here for their first dance.” we smiled and walked into the middle of the floor. His arms wrapped around my waist, mine going to his neck. After a few minutes I gather enough courage to tell him. 

“Bubba.” 

“Mhm.” his head resting on top of mine. 

“I’m pregnant.” he pulls away quickly looking at me earning a few looks from people

“What.”

“I’m pregnant.” I smile. His face lights up. He picks me up spinning me around before getting on his knees and kissing my belly.

“What’s going on.” AJ walks over to us with confusion written all over her face. 

“She's pregnant.” he smiles. 

“Holy shit I’m going to be a dad.”

“Oh my god! Congrats.” she smiles hugging me. 

--

“Hun.” I called.

“Yes baby.” 

“I think my water just broke.” he rushes out of the room and towards me smiling. It wasn’t much longer that I was laying in bed crying trying to push her out. Matthew almost fainted multiple times during it. 

-- 

“So do you have any names in mind?” Matthew looks at me smiling. 

“Athena Gray Gubler.” I look down at her face kissing it softly. 

--

“So after that you had Diana and Ezra?” she looked up at me.

“Yes baby Grandpa and I had three kids.” 

“Hey baby I’m home.” Matthew called out. Jaz jumped out my lap and ran towards him.

“Hey bug.” “What were ya’ll doing?” he asked 

“Talking about how we met.”

“Oh that was a fun time wasn’t it Y/N.”

[whereforarthur]

Two Heads are Better than One

Requested by @amofbebbanburg: Hello! I know something to write 😝😝😝 if you haven’t written this already, how about a Spencer Reid x reader where they both are geniusses and both can get extremely involved in discussions and the team is always flabbergasted as they don’t understand a thing about them, except.. That Spencer and her have a crush on eachother and they make Spencer fonally act on it? Maybe some NSFW to it ❤

A/N: Takes place during season 5 and mentions Spencer being shot in the knee. Introduction takes place in season 5, episode 5 “Cradle to Grave” Sorry I went a little off of the request I had an idea and I ran with it, I still hope you enjoy!

Taglist: @amofbebbanburg  @thatsonezesty13​ @slutforthegubes​ @hazel-howell​ @rachelssafespace​ @lindaze​

Requests are Closed!

Category: FLUFF and SMUT! (NSFW)

Couple: Spencer Reid x BAU! reader

Warnings: Oral sex (male receiving), penetrative sex, chocking, Dom!Spencer, degradation 

Word Count: 2,889

******

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."

-Albert Einstein 

You were sat at the corner of Spencer's desk as he rambled on about a blog he had just found, you wouldn’t have stayed and listened cause the subject was boring to you, but you stayed because you loved to watch the first genius in the BAU ramble. Especially since he was shot you couldn’t spend a moment away from him, afraid that something like that would happen again.

You were happy to see Derek walk in to the office finally someone else that Reid could talk to besides you. But, before you could give Reid to Derek, he was questioning Reid.

“Reid, what did I miss?”

“Oh, man, you're not gonna believe this. Some moron just posted a blog called "what would Carl Sagan do?" Spencer completely oblivious to what Derek was asking him about.

“No, Reid, the case.” Derek asked him again annoyance clear in his voice. “What's the case?”

“What are you talking about? I don’t know about a case, do you know about a case y/n/n” Spencer now directed his attention to you. You shook your head no “Nope I didn’t hear about any new cases coming in.” You told the boys.

“These emails from Hotch.” "take a look at this, " "new case to review."

“Emails from Hotch? I didn't get any emails from Hotch,” Spencer replied back to Derek while he typed on his computer. “did i? Nothing.” Both you and Spencer were clueless about what Derek was taking about. 

The whole time he talked you and Spencer shared questioning gazes between the two of you as you played with his crutches, him stealing them away from you before you hurt yourself or broke them. 

Derek had walked to Hotch’s office before you could ask him what was going on you and Spencer just went back to talking about the blog, you both assumed that Hotch had asked Derek to consul on a case before it was brought up in front of the entire team. 

*****

“Kristie Taylor, runaway, drug addict, Reported missing from Farmington, New Mexico 3 years ago. Yesterday, she turned up off a freeway Outside of Rio Rancho.” JJ had begin debriefing the team about their new case.

“Sexual assault combined with ligature marks on her wrists and ankles.” Spencer stated reading off of the case file. 

“She was asphyxiated.” You shuddered as you stated that as you hand was brought up to your neck, you hated whenever victims died from this, thinking that one day it could be you. In the bedroom you were know as the kinky submissive type, completely different from the dominant personality you used at work. And one of the things that could always get you off was a little bit of breath play, choking, you just loved it when a man took complete control of you, when your life was in his hands.

Those hands, god you had to get over this crush on Spencer ever since he was shot you realized your feelings were more of the “I want you to absolutely destroy me”, then the overprotective family type that they other members of the team had for him.

Spencer shook you out of your thoughts as he mouthed to you “are you okay” you simply nodded your head “yes” and went back to listening to JJ talk about the case.

When you had tuned back in Rossi was talking about how “There are a lot of guys out there who like chains.” You giggled to yourself and girls too, you thought to yourself. Spencer was confused as to way the mention of chains made you giggle, but figured out the answer when he saw the way your pupils were dilated, the rising blush on your checks, and the way you bit you lip with desire. 

He blushed to himself, trying to get the imagine of you tied up in chains for him and only him out of his head. He cleared his throat and tried to get rid of the growing bulge in his tight pants.

Rossi asked JJ  “ Are we sure this is the same unsub?”

“Kristie Taylor's autopsy report also indicates a second connection between these victims.” JJ replied back to him

Spencer informing the team of the connection, “she was pregnant.” Flipping the case file closed as JJ said that she had just given birth, she was killed within minutes of giving birth.

You had a theory, “This unsub isn't your typical sexual sadist. Captivity and assault we've seen before. What we haven't seen is this signature-- The role he forces these women to fulfill before he kills them. Motherhood.” you told the team all of them looking shocked and terrified.

“Journalist William D. Tammeus wrote, "you don't really understand human nature "unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round "will wave at his parents every time around And why his parents will always wave back."

“So why would a sexual sadist make women carry his children?” Emily asked the team with absolute confusion as to the unsubs motive.

“Gary Heidnik kept a harem in a dungeon. His goal was to create a large family As a replacement for his own broken home.” Spencer answered then turned to look at you, you continued his explanation.

“Josef Fritzl kept his daughter in a cell in his own house, And they had several kids together.” 

You and Spencer were always like this, you guys were known to finish each others thoughts almost as if you too shared the same brain. It was absolutely sickening how adorable you two were with each other when you would get into your genius debates, rattling factoids about anything to prove which one was smarter. They were always wondering when you two would finally get together.

And to be honest you had finally had enough of the back and forth of the will they won’t they and you had decided (much to Penelope's constant nagging) that after this case you would finally tell Spencer how you felt, and fingers crossed, jump his bones.

***** The case had finally rapped up after what had felt like forever and you were glad to step foot back into the bullpen, determination coursing through your veins as you eyes landed on Spencer.

“Hey Spencie want to get takeout and do a movie night?, I’ll even let you pick out the first movie” You asked him hoping that he said yes, but he usually always did Spencer could never say no to the puppy dog eyes you were know to give him.

“That sounds amazing,” He replied as he laced your arms together walking you towards the elevator “your place or mine?”

“Yours” If this plan was going to end in the way you hoped it did you wanted it to be done at his place. You wanted him to take you on every surface of his apartment. You felt yourself getting wetter at the idea and before you even realized it Spencer was opening the car door for you to get in, you blushed as you thanked him for being such a gentlemen and got in the car.

*****

You had made your way to Spencer’s apartment without exciting yourself to much, in case he didn’t return the same feeling of attraction.

You sat on the couch as Spencer placed your usual order at your favorite Chinese restaurant. “It’ll be here in 20 minutes” he told you as he joined you on the couch and he set his crutches down on the ground you gathered up some courage to place your hand on his knee. 

“Does it still hurt Spencer?” You began to bring your hand up and down his leg in a teasing manner making sure not to put too much pressure on it. 

“Umm no-o not that much only when I-i try to put too much pressure on it.” Spencer didn’t know what you were trying to do but, he was hoping that you were finally going to tell him how you felt. 

“OK that’s good just tell me if this hurts” 

“If what hur...” Before he could finish his sentence you straddled yourself on his lap combing some hair that had falling in his face behind his ears. You smiled deviously as you felt his growing bulge resting at your core, you moaned at the sensation. 

And in that moment, Spencer had lost all control, the years of him holding in his feelings were finally able to be set free. He grabbed your chin bringing your face inches away from him. You felt his hot breath fan over your face, another moan escaping your mouth.

His pupils were extremely dilated, they were filled with lust and desire. “Is this why you wanted to do a movie night y/n, huhh?” He left one hand on your check as the other wandered down to your throat giving just enough pressure to make you a whimpering mess in his lap.

“Yes, Doctor” That’s all you needed to say to him before he captured your lips in a breathtaking kiss both of you moaning at the sensation of finally being together.

“That’s what I fucking thought.” Spencer manged to get out in between kisses.

Both of you exploring each others bodies like you both had dreamed about. 

His hands now harshly gripping your hips and grinding you against him. You ran your fingers through his lengthy curls, tugging at the ends eliciting several moans from him. He begin to work his kisses from your lips down to your neck leaving love bites in his wake, marking you as his.

With every kiss and bite you were a whimpering mess for him, grinding your hips against his, your core was pulsating and you needed him so badly at this point it hurt.

You finally began to undress each other, the want of him being inside of you taking over your body. You stood up to help remove his clothes making sure that you didn’t hurt his leg.

“Are you able to hold yourself up against a wall” You asked him with a smirk.

“Yes” 

You grabbed his hand and shoved him against the wall before getting down on your knees, you stripped yourself down to your bra and underwear. Spencer had to stop himself from practically cumming at the sight.

“You are so fucking gorgeous” He manged to get out in between moans as you began to palm his erection through his underwear. 

Finally having enough of teasing him you grabbed his underwear and dragged it down to his ankles, him kicking them off. You were shocked at the sight of him.

His tip was pulsating red with pre-cum as it rest against his stomach, you had never felt more aroused then you were in that exact moment you couldn’t wait any longer, you had to feel him.

You wrapped your hand around his erection, staring to stroke him gently. You stuck your tongue out as you drug it up and down his shaft, bringing it up from the base to the tip. You looked at Spencer, having a feeling that eye contact was a turn on for him, he moaned at the sight of you, which only egged you on even more. 

You finally wrapped your lips around the tip, giving it a kiss before you began to to take him in your mouth. You wanted Spencer to fuck your mouth and that is exactly what he did. You felt his grip on the back of your head tighten as he began to thrust rapidly into your mouth, you made sure to relax your jaw to allow him more room inside of you.

He guided your mouth up and down his length, him loving the control that you gave him. 

“You fucking love letting me you use that pretty mouth of yours. Fuck, it feels so good baby, you are taking it so well, like the good, slut that you are.” Between the praising and the degradation you were soaking wet and just dying to feel Spencer inside of you.

You loved that you were the only one to see him like this, the complete opposite of how he acted in work. He never cursed, he barely had the courage to take control. But, in this moment he was in full control and both of you were high off the feeling.

Spencer was so close to the edge as much as the idea of cumming down your throat excited him he needed to know hat it felt like to be inside of you first.

You pouted as Spencer yanked you off of him, dragging you up by the hair. You know stood practically dripping from how wet you were on shaky legs as he had to hold you up as he wiped the spit from your chin and the tears that fell from your eyes.

“As much as I wanted to cum into the pretty mouth of yours I think we would both enjoy it much more if I come in your fucking cunt.” Each word made you wetter by the second, he pushed your ruined panties to the side.

He started with two of those perfect and long fingers, that slipped with such ease inside of me, he roughly finger fucked me. He had to hold me up with one hand as we made out like horny teenagers.

As he pumped his fingers inside of me he began to rub my clit with his thumb, he could feel how close your were, the way you were clenching around his fingers, you had stopped kissing him to preoccupied with the feeling of his fingers deep inside of you. 

“Are you going to come for me, as I finger that tight pussy up against my apartment wall, for all my neighbors to hear. I want you to fucking scream my name as you moan. I want everyone to know who you belong to.” 

As soon as the words left his mouth, you came hard and quick a sting of curses and the doctors name falling from your lips. He never stopped his assault on your pussy, he kept pumping his fingers in and out of you as you came down from your high.

“Good girl, so fucking responsive to me and the real fun hasn’t even begun.”

He lead you to his bedroom him climbing up on the bed first carefully as to not hurt his leg, as soon as he was situated he told you to take off your bra and underwear as he patted his lap.

As soon as you straddled him he gripped your throat making your eyes roll to the back of your head, as his other hand guided his length into you. 

Your moans were echoing through the bedroom as he entered you, filling you to the brim completely stretching you out. “Fuck, you take my cock so good baby, so fucking tight.” He stated as he began to pound into you from below you ground your hips against him trying to keep up with his pace.

His hand still tighten wrapped around your throat he pulled you towards him capturing your lips in a kiss that seemed a lot softer compared to the situation that the two of you were in now.

“Fuck, Spencer you fill me up so good.” He moaned at your words only pulling you closer to him and thrusting deeper inside of you. You felt yourself coming closer to release as he groaned against your ear.

The hand from your throat was removed only to move to your bundle of nerves circling it, “I want you to come all over my cock baby, before I fill you up with my load. Understood?”

“Yes, Doctor.” 

“Come for me baby,” he pleads as he feels his release is close. A hot panting mess, you still managed to scream his name as you came.

Spencer wasn’t far behind you still thrusting into with such force, your pussy tightening around him added to his orgasm as he came deep inside of you.

“Oh, god, fuck that feels so good baby.” 

You two just sat there for awhile in pure bliss, both of you hot sweaty messes but neither of you cared. After a couple of minutes he pulled out of you you whimpered at the soreness that you felt, but knew that Spencer would take care of it for you. 

He gave you a quick kiss on the forehead before he hobbled (since he left his crutches in the living room) his way to the bathroom to grab a washcloth to clean you up, you flopped over onto your stomach feeling completely drained.

You couldn’t stop the giddy feeling that coursed throughout your entire body you had never thought this moment was going to happen, especially with a co-worker that you fantasized about on a daily basis. You had finally realized you were also madly in love with this man.

Unbeknownst to you Spencer had felt the same giddy feeling as he stood just there in the bathroom staring at his reflection in the mirror with a smile that spread across his entire face. He had to realized the love he had for you and couldn’t be happy then to tell you.

*****

“Some love stories aren't epic novels. Some are short stories. But that doesn't make them any less filled with love.”

- Carrie Bradshaw 

[isolemnlyswearpevensie]

God Damn Smile | Edmund Pevensie x Reader

Warnings: Fluff :)

Time/Era: Modern AU

Word count: 3.7k 

Summary: Edmund reconnects with his childhood best friend, and it makes old, forgotten feelings resurface. 

Request: Hey! Can you write an Edmund x reader based on “A Typical Teenage Love Song” by Tate McRae? It’s fine if you can’t. Tsym in advance!

A/N: This song is so cute :D Ahhh, I love this imagine!!! I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! Thanks for the request :)

masterlist | read on ao3

“No! Don’t step on him!” Five year old Y/N L/N yelled at her friend, Edmund Pevensie. He had his foot raised above a small garden snail, right in the middle of a game of Godzilla. The pair were currently in Y/N’s back garden, playing amongst all the plants. Both children were dressed in brightly colored rain boots and their play clothes to enjoy the rainy weather. 

“It’s just a snail,” Edmund responded, lowering his leg to the ground. Instead of squishing the garden creature, he kneeled down to the ground for a better look. It wasn’t anything special, just a normal garden snail, but it seemed to be rather important to his playmate. 

“He is not just a snail! He is my friend.”

“If he’s your friend, what’s his name then?” Edmund let the small snail crawl up onto his finger before standing upright. 

“Snaily,” Y/N responded, putting her hand out and throwing the teddy bear in her arms to the ground. Edmund placed Snaily on her palm and smiled a toothy smile. This made Y/N grin, putting her hand at eye level. “Thank you for not squashing him.”

“He’s my friend now, too. You don’t squash friends.” 

Y/N nodded in agreement, “You don’t squash friends.” 

~

“Do you remember being a baby?” Edmund asked Y/N. They were now eight and sitting on the Pevensie family swing set, avoiding the youngest Pevensie child, Lucy. Y/N adored Lucy, she thought the girl was adorable, but Edmund insisted the two have “big kid things” to attend to. 

The swing set was old and rickety, as it had been in their family since Edmund’s older brother, Peter was a toddler. The colors were faded, the slide had a large crack in it and Edmund had written his and Y/N’s initials on one of the support beams. “No, am I supposed to?” Y/N answered. She had been last to reach the swings, so she was stuck with the squeaky one. Her face cringed each time the chains made a noise, despite her attempts to stay as still as possible. Y/N brought her hands to the teddy bear on her lap, covering its ears. Having been in the sun all afternoon, the swing was hot on her legs and it stuck uncomfortably to the skin on her thighs. 

“I don’t think so. My parents were looking at our baby books this morning so I was wondering,” 

“My mom has a picture of us when we were three hanging in our living room,” Y/N’s nose wrinkled and she kicked up a small patch of dirt. “We’ve been friends since we were babies. I don’t remember meeting you, though. You were just, there.” 

Edmund laughed, standing so he could lean his stomach against the seat of the swing. He swung on his stomach once before situating back onto his feet. “Our fathers are friends which means we’re friends. That’s just the way the world works.”

“Friends forever, even if one of us moves far far far far away?”

“Friends forever, Y/N.” 

~

“Do you have to go?” Ten-year-old Edmund stood outside of Y/N’s house, holding a box of barbies. Mr. L/N took the box from Ed’s hand and put it in the trunk of his car. 

“It should only be for a few years at most, Ed. I’m getting relocated for work,” Mr. L/N responded, messing the young boy’s hair up with one hand. “We’ll be back. I gave your Dad our new address and you can write to Y/N to your heart’s content.”

When Y/N joined them at the car, backpack slung across her shoulder and her favorite teddybear hugged between her arms, tears were rolling down her face. 

“I don’t want to go, please don’t make me!” She cried, holding to her teddy to her chest. Her face was scarlet and her mouth was etched into a frown. 

“You can stay with us!” Edmund offered, his own tears starting to roll down his face. Y/N was more than just his playmate, she was his best friend. They had spent the last seven years of their life seeing eachother almost daily, and now all of that was going to come to a sudden halt. 

“That’s sweet of you, buddy, but I think her mother and I would miss her too much,” Mr. L/N smiled down at the two before walking to the front of the car where his wife was talking to Helen Pevensie. 

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” Edmund sniffled. “I’m going to miss you. I have no one to play on the swings with!”

“You can play with Lucy.” Edmund made a face at this suggestion, making Y/N sadly giggle. “Or Peter.”

“No, Lucy cries too much and Peter always kicks sand in my eyes.” 

A thoughtful look came over Y/N’s face and she looked down at the plush in her arms. After a small moment of what looked like intense thought, she held her teddy out towards Edmund. 

“Here, Ed, now you can have a friend!” Edmund hesitantly took the bear from Y/N’s hands and looked down at it. It was obvious Y/N really loved that thing because it was a bit raggedy and one of the brown button eyes was replaced with a bright green one. “Teddy likes it better here, anyway. You can take care of him.” 

Y/N awkwardly gripped her upper arm with her hand, swaying on her heels. Edmund hugged it to him and nodded stiffly. “He’s in good hands. I will protect him with my life.”

Both kids laughed and embraced before Y/N was whisked into the car. 

~

Dear Y/N, 

Happy 12th birthday! I’m sad I couldn’t be there for it, but I hope your cake was yummy. The picture my mum showed me looked absolutely delicious. She also said you took up archery at your new school! My school doesn’t offer that, so I thought that was cool. Did you shoot anything? I know you are too nice to shoot any animals but I never know with you. ;) I hung out with this girl in my English class the other day, she reminded me of you. She had long brown hair and blue eyes and a laugh that sounds like yours. She wasn’t as fun as you, though. I think she wants me to be her boyfriend. I’m not sure if I want to be her boyfriend. She kept trying to hold my hand. Her hand was sweaty. And she kept saying I have a cute smile. I don’t know how a smile can be cute? Teeth are weird. Peter said that was her way of trying to flirt with me. Do you flirt with boys at your school? What do you say?

Maybe we can play Minecraft together again soon. Last time we played I had a great time. Have your mom text mine and we can try to schedule something. I want a phone, it would be easier to talk to you.

I attached a picture of me and Teddy at the park. He misses you almost as much as I do.

I’ll be waiting for your response, 

Ed

.

Ed, 

Thank you for the birthday wishes. :D The cake was delicious, I wish you could have tried it!!! And to answer your question, yes, but I’ve only ever shot targets. It’s against school rules to shoot anything other than them. Sort of a bummer, though. 

Your not-girlfriend sounds nice. I agree with her, your smile is very nice. You always look so happy when you smile, especially when your eyes light up. 

I don’t really flirt with boys, boys are kinda gross. Not you of course, but the guys at my school. There is this one guy named Ethan who is kinda cute. He wouldn’t want to be my boyfriend though. My friend always talks about kissing him. I want to kiss someone...have you ever kissed a girl? 

My mum said I can get a phone when I turn 14. Then, we can text and call whenever we want! I miss you. How’s teddy? He looks so happy in that picture. I hung it on my bulletin board. 

Respond quicker this time, will ya?

Y/N

~

EDMUND!!!

I’M HAVING A CRISIS AT THE RIPE OLD AGE OF 13! Remember that boy, Ethan? Well, apparently he has a big crush on me. That’s fine, he’s cute and everything, but my friend has a big crush on him. I guess it’s like friendship code to not date him? I feel bad rejecting him. I kinda have a crush on someone already. I know he doesn’t like me though. 

Are you still dating that one girl? In your last letter, you said you were gonna break up with her. How’d that go? Did she cry? Did you cry? I hope you didn’t. I don’t like it when you cry. It makes me sad. 

Can you believe we’re teenagers now? It seems like just yesterday I was handing you Teddy and crying in the car for an hour. I hope we come back soon. But hey! I’m almost 14, which means I’ll be getting a cell phone. Maybe if I have a phone my mum can convince yours to get you one. 

I miss you, Ed. I hope to be back soon. 

Y/N. 

.

Y/N!!!!

I’m not sure if that really counts as a crisis, but okay. If you don’t like him, don’t date him. That’s why I broke up with mine. I discovered I kind of like someone else, so I broke up with her. And no, I didn’t cry. If felt like a relief more than anything. Let me know how the “crisis” turns out. 

I can’t wait until I get a phone. My entire grade has one, and so do Susan and Peter. I feel kind of left out, having to write letters when I want to talk to someone. It’s always fun when I get them, though. 

If I have to hear Stitches by Shawn Mendes one more time, my head is going to explode!!!! Susan keeps playing it on repeat. I tried to turn it off earlier and she almost broke my arm. Why are siblings so mean? Or are mine just weird? You’re lucky you’re an only child. I miss you too, Y/N. If you were here life would be so much easier. 

Edmund

~

“Edmund, you got a letter,” Lucy says, dropping the envelope on his desk. He was working on college applications, typing away on his laptop, and looking grumpy. Music blasted through his speakers as he worked. 

“I didn’t order anything?” He grunted in response, not taking his eyes off of the screen. 

“It’s from the girl you’re basically in love with, I think. It has her name on it.” Edmund looked at the envelope with scrunched eyebrows. Sure enough, it had her name and address written on the front in her familiar handwriting. His heart rate sped up while he gently (and shakily) broke the paper seal. Why didn’t she just text him? 

Hey, Edmund,

I know we haven’t talked since we were like 15 and I could have just texted you, but this seemed more nostalgic and romantic in a way. You know how I tend to romanticize everything. 

Anyway, I wanted to let you know we’re moving back for Senior year, crazily enough. A few years my ass, huh? We’ll be back on the 14th, so get ready for chaos. 

Seriously, I’m looking forward to seeing you outside of Instagram again. You don’t have to come see me if you don’t want to, I know it might be a bit awkward, but I’d really like it if you did. My address is 1014 Swanwhite Lane. Come stop by if you feel like it. 

I do miss you. Judging by your social media, you’re doing well. I’m happy to hear that. 

Hopefully, I’ll see you soon.

Y/N

“Oh my god, she’s coming back,” Edmund says, gripping the thin paper in between his thumb and middle finger. “What’s the date?” 

Lucy pulled her phone out of her pocket and unlocked it, “The 28th. Why?”

“She got back the 14th! She’s been back for ages and I had no idea, oh my god!” 

“Well, are you going to go see her? You lost your chance to sweep her off her feet by waiting for her to arrive.”

“Sweep her off her feet?” Lucy rolled her eyes and hit him with the rest of the family’s mail. 

“Don’t play stupid. I’ve heard you and Peter talking.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His eyes skimmed the letter again. Lucy snatched it from his fingers and hit him with it. 

“Don’t know what I’m talking about? Really, Ed? The whole ‘I’ve been in love with her since I was 8 years old’ thing you told Pete? You don’t recall? Or the fact you have her post notifications on?” Lucy read the letter herself. “She wants to see you! Come on, this is your chance. You haven’t even looked at a girl since you were like 13.” 

“I’ve been focusing on school. What’s wrong with that?”

“It’s a Friday night in the middle of August and you’re getting a head start on college applications. Ed, go see the girl.” 

“Mum will never let me,” Lucy held up one finger and left the room. After about 5 minutes, she returned and held his coat out to him. 

“She said to go have fun. Here, it might be chilly.” Edmund sighed and took his jacket. The corduroy felt soft under his fingers as he slid it on. 

“You don’t have to be so pushy, Lu.” 

Lucy smiled, “It’s only because I love you. Besides, if I didn’t push you, you wouldn’t go.”

~

Edmund sat on the curb across the street and looked up at Y/N’s house. It was well past 11 at this point and only one light in the house was on. Hopefully, it was Y/N’s. 

He awkwardly thumbed through his contacts before pulling up Y/N’s. The last text was on his birthday, a simple two message conversation consisting of “Happy Birthday!” and “Thanks!”

Look outside 

He watched nervously as his message went from delivered to read, but no typing bubble popped up. Edmund sighed and stood, shoving his phone into his jacket pocket and walking towards the house. Sure enough, the front door opened and a grown-up Y/N stepped out. She was still dressed, but her shoes were off and her hair was tied back. Edmund smiled at her mismatched socks, old habits die hard apparently. 

“I thought you were never going to come and see me,” Her voice was like honey. 

“I just got the letter today, so blame the postal service. Not me.” The two walked to the curb and sat down. 

“Well, I’m glad you still came. I was expecting you to wimp out.”

“Wimp out?! Why would I do that?” 

Y/N let out a forced chuckle and looked at the pavement. “Because you stopped answering my texts and calls.” She crossed her arms across her body and shivered. She was only wearing a short-sleeve shirt and a pair of pajama shorts. “But I get it, life gets in the way sometimes.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Are you cold?” Without waiting for an answer, he shrugs off his jacket and drapes it across Y/N’s shoulders. It smelled like spearmint gum and pine. 

Y/N let out a real chuckle this time. “Smooth, Ed. Very cheesy.” 

“I will happily take it back.” 

“Please don’t, this is the closest I’ve been to you in years.” Her fingers gripped the material and closed it around her torso. She scooted closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. Edmund didn’t quite know what to do. “I missed you, Edmund. It’s so nice to see you again.” 

“I missed you too. Your return is a few years late.” His chest vibrated with a snicker. 

“I know, but I’m back now.” A moment of silence filled the air as the two tried to grow more comfortable in the familiar company. 

“I used to dream about sitting with you like this, you know,” Edmund said before he could stop himself. 

“You did?”

“Yeah, I used to picture us in all sorts of situations, but most of them were small things like this.” 

“But not anymore?”

Edmund sighed, laying his head on top of hers. His hair tickled Y/N’s forehead. “I figured you moved on from me.”

“Moved on? What do you mean?”

“I mean, you have so many friends and a new life… and we stopped texting as often. I don’t know, I thought you, maybe, outgrew me.” 

Y/N played with the zipper on Edmund’s jacket, making a small clicking noise fill the air. “I never outgrew you, Ed. In fact, a day didn’t go by that I didn’t wish I was here with you.” 

“I don’t see why. You had so many friends and such an exciting life. I’m rather dull in comparison.”

“You’re definitely not dull. And it doesn’t matter how many friends it seems like I have, you’re the only one I consider a best friend. I should have reached out more, maybe I could have had a better year.” 

Edmund shifted so he could wrap an arm around her waist. “Did you have a bad year?”

“Yeah, that’s sort of why we came back. But, I mean, I’m here with you, so everything has a bright side.” 

Edmund grinned and tightened his grip. “That’s one of the things I love most about you. You can always see the positives in everything.” Y/N pulled back and looked at his face. 

“I love it when you smile,” Y/N commented. “I could spend hours staring at that god damn smile.” Edmund’s cheeks reddened and his smile grew bigger. 

“Why don’t you, then? Stay with me for hours, I mean.” 

“I will if you let me, Pevensie.” 

Edmund sniffed once. 

“Did you ever end up dating that guy from your Chemistry class?” Edmund asks, studying the side of her face. His eyes scanned over her skin, admiring how soft it looked. 

“No, I’ve been in love with someone else for quite some time.” 

“What a lucky guy, then.” Edmund’s voice was only a bit louder than a mumble as he turned his head away from her. 

“Yeah, I guess he is. I’ve known him since I was really young.” 

“How’d you meet him?” Every word felt like a dagger into his stomach. 

“I don’t remember, he was always just there. Our dads were friends so we were friends. That’s just how the world works.” Edmund took his hand off of Y/N and placed it in his lap. 

“Oh, I see.” 

“Yeah, he’s super cute. He’s really smart, too, but kinda oblivious.”  

“Wow, he sounds great, Y/N. I’m so happy for you.” Each word sounded like he was choking them out. He stopped listening a few responses ago, but he still wanted to support her. No matter how hurt he felt, he was still her friend. 

“He’s the best person I’ve ever met, if I’m being quite honest. He can be a bit of an ass though.”

“What’s his name?” 

“You might know him,” Y/N tucked her hands into her sleeves before continuing. “His name is Edmund Pevensie.” 

“Wow, what a cool- wait what?” Y/N giggled at the look on his face. His eyebrows were lifted and his mouth was open slightly. 

“Yeah, I don’t know, maybe you’ve met him.” 

“You’ve been in love with me?” 

“Been and am, darling. God, when I got your text tonight my heart almost stopped.” Edmund was speechless, he couldn’t believe the girl he had been in love with for so long felt the same way. “Of course it’s okay if you don’t feel the same-”

“-No! I’m just shocked. I can’t believe this. I have loved you since we were little, I feel like I’m dreaming.” He couldn’t help but let the smile engulf his face, making his freckles stand out against his red cheeks. This was not what he was expecting when he had walked to her house. 

“There’s that handsome smile I love to see.” 

“So, you were waiting for me?” 

“Just like you were waiting for me. Lucy texted me about six months ago about how you never show any interest when she tries to set you up with girls. Now is just our time, unless you aren’t going to show interest in me.” 

“When did you get so sassy?” Edmund turned so he was facing her straight on. 

“When did you get so flust-” She was cut off mid-word by his warm lips being pressed against hers. He tasted like licorice and mint, and Y/N instantly got intoxicated off of his lips. Both parties had dreamed about this moment for years, so now that it was happening, it left them both feeling light-headed. Edmund pulled back and smirked. 

“Who’s the flustered one now?” He asks, hand cupping her cheek. 

“Does this mean you’re finally mine?”

“Y/N, I’ve always been yours. Hell, I’ll always be yours.” 

Edmund made a face as if he remembered something and reached into his backpack, “By the way, I’m not the only one who missed you.” He placed a very old teddy bear in his lover’s lap. 

He had raggedy fur and one green eye. 

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 32

💖 first time reader click here 💖

Summary: Stephen Strange being a grown-up. Reader being a grown-up. Kind of. Revenge plot starts now - don't be like the mercenary, don't threaten reader's family. Avengers being good.. bros? Good found family idk. More smut + plot coming soon.

The silence hung awkwardly over us. Stephen wasn't the one to wax poetics, usually, and I wasn't in the mood to do anything but curl up somewhere warm, chug a bottle of liquor and fall asleep. Sleep is like death without the committment and after my little outburst, I inwardly prayed and begged for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Instead, I was directed to sit and drink my tea by the sorcerer, who, by the way, was beginning to look like a kicked puppy.

It was starting to become unbearable. "I'm listening," I finally croaked out, shocked at how raspy my voice sounded. As if someone had forced me to choke on some nails - and I felt like it, too. My hands were shaking, all but spilling the hot tea onto them.

"Princess..." His mouth did the thing when he was worried, lips pursed, their corners upturned. "What we did was not... Right, you were drugged without your consent. I am sure Tony feels the same way."

My eyebrows rose, words bubbling up to the surface as I fought the urge to simply start calling Stephen some strong names. Had he been blind the whole time I flirted with him, had he not seen both me and Tony ogling him when we thought nobody could see? Every time I joked about the sexual tension between them - you know what they say, every joke has a little bit of truth in it.

Or maybe the sorcerer had used the incident as a convenient excuse for our little fuck-fest to be a one-time thing? I expected more, I won't lie, but I wouldn't put it above him. I knew all too well that some men tended to simply... Avoid.

I was angry, probably rightfully so, but it was not the time for me to comfort an adult man. My own life was going to shit, I had no mental energy to unburden his baseless guilt. It was selfish and it made me feel even more like shit, but it was as if someone had flipped a switch inside of me. I just didn't care about someone's heartbreak. I needed to solve another problem, a much bigger than a man that couldn't make up his mind.

I had to find that damn mercenary. It was the only real threat hanging over our heads; unlike any mission that I've seen the team go on before, they had thrown all the forces into catching the man that had gotten into their safe space, their home. That threatened to take what they thought as theirs. Long gone were the days of comfortable domesticity.

"Okay," I replied, nodding curtly. "I wanted it, if it helps any. I thought you were attractive the first day I saw you." I spoke bluntly, beginning to feel like myself more and more with each word that I spoke. "And again, no strings have to be attached. I'm sure Tony will understand it too, it's not his first rodeo."

Stephen's head shot up from where he was examining his clasped hands, to study me with furrowed brows. Cloaky moved where it was wrapped around me, attracting the sorcerer's attention - I, unfortunately, did not understand the Cloak's sign language and what it told Stephen remained a mystery to me. I was just delighted to be out of the cold and and wet clothes.

"I think you misunderstood me," Stephen eyed me with surprise. "I want more, but..." He trailed off, unsure. "I don't know. I'm surprised Banner hasn't gone green on me yet. I'm a doctor, I should have known..."

So, he was pulling a me and wallowing in pity. Is this really how pathetic I looked when I used to mope around the house earlier? No wonder my mother thinks I'm a baby. "Stephen, I'm really not in the mood to listen to bullshit. I wanted it, you wanted it, great, we can move on. Because with everything that has happened to me, I really have no energy to convince you I like you even while sober when you're sabotaging yourself." Sure, I might have ripped off the motivational speech from a self-help book my mother used to have laying around. My patience was wearing thinner with each second. "There, I said it. I like you, my boyfriends like you, you're welcome to the club if you decide to believe the fact that I am telling the truth." And if he wouldn't, well, I could get over it. I was planning to never act upon my feelings for both Tony and Bruce, it hadn't been as hard as I thought it would be. Especially with me being busy enough to just ignore the feelings.

At some point, I had grown attached to Stephen. Perhaps, if I and Tony hadn't decided to mess around with the sorcerer at the party, my feelings wouldn't have bloomed into anything more than physical attraction. Murphy's law had a particularly strong affinity on me, I noticed, because over and over I found myself falling head over heels for emotionally unavailable men. It worked out with Tony, which wasn't as surprising as one might expect, considering we're two halves of a whole idiot, but then Bruce also decided to pucker up - Stephen was bound to be the rock that I trip on.

Or not? Soft lips pressed against my forehead, beard hair softly tickling the tip of my nose. I was pressed against a solid chest, surrounded by warmth and comfort. "I'm sorry, I'm an idiot," Steph whispered, voice quivering.

"Well, it's not like this... Relationship... I've got going on is something commonplace," My arms wrapped around him, a deep sigh relaxing my body into his. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. It wasn't right."

Stephen chuckled, all but pulling me bodily into his lap. "Don't worry, Princess. I deserved it." As he spoke, the Cloak carefully unwrapped itself from me, drifting away with a parting pat on my back. "Now what happened with your parents?" Large palms pushed the hair out of my face, stormy blue eyes looking at me with worry.

"I should probably assemble all my significant others for this conversation," There was little enthusiasm in discussing the incident. I was an adult and had enough money to get by for a few months, at least until I could patent one of my inventions. I had plenty of knick-knacks that should be able to interest buyers, that much I knew, and while the legal side of the process was a blank slate to me, I knew I could be charismatic enough to have someone work it out for me.

"I don't think I'll be able to take Steve seriously when he says 'assemble', now," My third boyfriend chuckled, which - wow, I didn't have boyfriends and now I had three? Should I be considering opening a factory or something? Stephen adjusted his hold on me. "Let's go, I'll portal us in."

"My car's out there with all my stuff. I'll have to drive," I protested but made no move to get out of his lap.

"Tony is a billionaire, he can pay someone to retrieve it," Shrugging carelessly, he produced a golden circle of magic, the common room couch in plain sight at the other side of it. I heard voices and then Clint's head peaked through, a curiously tilted eyebrow morphing into full fledged face of confusion upon seeing the two of us.

Yikes. I had forgotten about the state of my dress and the bruise on my cheek. "Hey, bird. I need a drink," I said the first thing that popped into my mind, causing both Clint and Steph to laugh as the sorcerer carried me into the tower through the portal.

"I'm starting to think you go out there and look for trouble on purpose," The archer sighed, pulling out his phone and texting rapidly. Mine vibrated, too, once he was done, which meant he'd called for a family meeting. Blergh.

In no time, Tony appeared, dark circles under his eyes and yesterday's shirt on, towing a worried Bruce behind him. One after the other, the Avengers tickled in, looking restless and exhausted. Loki's frown was well on its way to becoming a full sneer.

"Talk, please," He requested, eyeing me with concern.

"Good news is I got our rogue wizard back," I poked Stephen in the chest. He was blushing. "Bad news is my mother threw me out and my father didn't pick up the phone, so technically I'm homeless and parent-less," I decided that spitting out straight facts was the easiest way to go about it. I mean, there was no good way to tell what I just told them.

The storm that I anticipated didn't appear. Just a lot of disappointed sighs all around, especially from Tony, who looked twenty years older after I'd confessed to the current state of my affairs. "You're not homeless, you live here," He pointed out, rubbing his face and muttering some very strong words under his nose. Particularly, the expressions involved my mother and various methods of fornication.

"We got your back, doll," Bucky nodded, coming over to wrap me in a gentle hug. He was like a brother from another mother to me at this point, kind and goofy and sensible. "I would propose to teaching that harpy a lesson but I think she's beyond it."

"Perhaps it's for the best," Loki mused suddenly. "If I recall correctly, your mother was against your career of choice, which is idiotic. Science is a noble and prospective path." The Asgardian, too, gave me a hug.

I wasn't crying! There were ninjas, in the vents, cutting onions! "Stop it guys, I'm gonna cry. I already look like shit!" The protest was silenced by Bruce's lips on mine, his tiny smile briefly covering my mouth with tenderness. After that, everybody somehow decided it was their job to try and make me cry; like a bad bitch, I resisted, but eventually broke and started sniffling when Tony began rambling about building me my own lab and Wanda offered to help me decorate my new apartment.

No matter how much my mind screamed at me to refuse, I forced that noise down. Fighting against myself, accepting help despite feeling unworthy of it - it was probably the hardest thing I've done in my whole life.

Bruce volunteered to carry my prone body to Tony's bedroom which was quickly becoming the master bedroom for the three of us - ever since the incident, both of my scientists stuck close to me whenever possible, aggressively cuddling me whenever they decided it was time to get some sleep. Which wasn't much these days, if I was being honest. Persuading Bruce to stay with me was a novelty - usually he didn't resist, but that time, I had to repeat myself multiple times that the team could handle business even without him being present.

I had my ulterior motives, of course. Tony and Stephen needed to talk. I only hoped their egos wouldn't clash without me to mediate - having two boyfriends start a fight wasn't something I wanted to experience. I had zero experience in those matters and had no idea how to manage all that. Are there handbooks for polyamorous relationships? I stuck a mental post-it note inside my brain to check it out.

I fell asleep with Bruce wrapped around me and woke up in the same position, having been too exhausted to move even in my sleep. Voices, rough and quiet, were the first thing I heard upon syncing my brain into a resemblance of a working order, instantly recognizing Stephen's deep baritone and Tony's teasing drawl.

"Expect either Reindeer Games or Kim Possible to come and terrify you," My engineer didn't sound particularly ecstatic. His voice came from somewhere around my feet; the hand wrapped around my ankle, thumb gently stroking the skin, must've been his.

"Duly noted," Stephen's reply was equally sarcastic, sounding a little closer. The warmth coming from my side was him. I could smell the faint spices that surrounded him, smell that I'd come to associate with the Sanctum.

Bruce snored away, not a care in the world.

My body, on the other hand, felt rested for what felt the first time in years. A pleasant ache in my muscles had me begrudgingly squirm out of Banner'd grasp, shamelessly pushing up into Stephen as I stretched with a juicy yawn. "What's poppin'?" I rubbed my eyes, finding the men awake looking at me with fond amusement.

"Just watching," Tony smiled, causing me to giggle at his accidental meme-ing. Was it even accidental? I refused to believe that a man well versed in IT was oblivious to meme culture.

Stephen, on the other hand... "We've discussed some things, wanted to talk to you too." His hand stroked my hair, face expression soft unlike anything I'd ever seen him have. "But you were sleeping. So cute."

Me, cute? There was a puddle of drool the size of a dollar bill on my pillow, I was pretty sure some of it had even gotten in Bruce's hair. Banner's sleep was quiet except for every five minutes when he'd let out a snore with a force somewhere between a Mack truck and a whale in mating season.

Cute, sure.

Bruce groaned, a tell-tale sign of him waking up. I met his eyes, brown, shiny, a narrow edge of green around his irises. Huh. Do I have three boyfriends or four?

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​@sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95 @gladiosamicitias

[rosyk]

Clichè

pairing: lee minho x reader

genre: heavy or light angst, fluff, marriage, misunderstandings

warnings: light curses, situations that involves deep anger or sadness, mentions of disease, death(?)

word count: 5.2k

a/n: Hi it’s your gal, rosyk. I’m back with writing fanfictions and it’s like 4 in the morning. I haven’t slept yet so there are many grammatically incorrect sentences or spelling errors. Hope you enjoy this one though! (Inspired by Dear John- Taylor Swift)

I sat by the car, the same old one he and I used to drive in. This was a simple car but we swore to use this for our wedding since memories are still stuck. It made me wonder what could’ve happened if everything went right? What would’ve happened to us if there were no obstacles in life? It then made me realize that indeed there were no obstacles, none other than you.

I drove the car to meet your sister who desperately needed to talk to me. She said there were secrets I needed to know but I get the gist of what she’s trying to do. Set me up? Trap me? Convince me? So I could be tempted to get back into your cage? I don’t want that to happen, never again. I’m sick and tired of this one-sided relationship I never noticed because I was blinded. Aced all my tests, I am smart. But when it comes to you, I look like a whole fool trying to fall in love with a guy who gave up. This is why I wanted to show her that I’ve moved on, at least based on my view. Wearing both of my earphones and played our song, I sighed deeply and continued to drive along Cornelia street. My days only revolved around you but what exactly went wrong in between us? Scratch that, what happened to you?

Back then, all I could do was love you. Not less but everything more. I could never stand loving you lesser each day. It’s not on obsessing but to the point that I recognize your feelings though still, I try to force myself. You know how I do grow tired from time to time, but that’s all because I care for you. There’s not much positivity from that though. The downfall happens when I love you much more than you feel for me. It was never equal no matter how I try to persuade myself, desperately needing your affection.

My mother used to tell me how crazy I was to fall for a guy like you. How was I supposed to tell her you were fine since then? Yesterday, you rained me with care. On Friday, you sucked it all up and acted as if nothing happened. All I could do was pray that the guy I used to know, is the one I’ll meet today and greet me in front of the door with wide gentle hugs.

You give me hope, then take it back all at once. I remembered a sunny sky in blue that suddenly turned grey after you decided to shrug me off several times. I was in your tiny piece of chess game. Though you change the rules every day, hoping I would give up until the end. What’s funny is that typically families opposing would be the ones who would give tests to both of the couples to prove their love. And yet, you were the one who was trying to give me a hard time and when I was lost in the thought of giving you up, you decided to save me at the end of the day.

You were a puzzle I couldn’t solve. Little did I know, there was a missing piece I could never find until then. Just like a whole puzzle, you were complicated but due to my drive and need, I had to hang on to my aim. I had to do it because I was convinced by all your “sorry“. Or maybe it’s just me trying to change my mindset to find a reason to stay because I knew there was no difference between all your other sorrys before.

“Which Minho would I be able to talk to on the phone?” It runs through my mind each Sunday of my life and gives me anxiety. But every time I hear the phone ring? I never hesitated to pick it up. No matter what kind of guy I am faced with, I wanted to know deeper why you were acting so confusing. But on that single day, I didn’t pick up the phone. I cried and had sleepless nights. My worst nightmare just came and here’s why:

“Don’t you think this is a good improvement? We’ll sit by the couch and place a big screen tv.” You placed your arm above my shoulder and I continued your lovely story.

“Then we’ll watch your performances?” I looked at you in the eye, grinning as you smirked at my idea. You hummed in question and tilted your head. “Lee Minho, the most famous kpop idol who reached internationally and was supported by his lovely fans” I placed both of my hands above, imaging a billboard banner with your name and face on it. Thousands of people watching and idolizing you.

“Really?” You shifted your position into a more comfortable one as I leaned on your chest. Nodding at my suggestion, you pressed your lips together and listened to me, getting all happy after trying to predict and set goals in our lives.

“Of course! Why not?” I turned my head to face you and gave you a slight hit. “I could feel the energy of the universe as if it's trying to tell me that was our fate” You playfully laughed at the girl in front of you who is telling such an exaggerating fairytale. “Besides, ” I went back to my position and grabbed your arms around my waist. “Your number one fan is just a surgeon anyway” You responded with an oh? as you began to get amused with my statements. “A surgeon who never failed to help people even in a situation full of pressure. The best surgeon in the district” I smiled in a bragging manner, lifting my hand to flip my hair.

“I like that” you nodded in approval. “But don’t you think it’s much better with the title, the best surgeon found around the world?” My eyes lit up with stars because indeed that was a better match. I grinned and raised my eyebrow.

“That’s better” an idea popped up and so I turned back once again. You looked at me in confusion and waited until I would continue what I wanted to say. “But how about the dating ban? Does that mean we have to keep it low?” You looked at me concerningly and so I did. Panic arose in my mind. “Or maybe we-“

You placed your hand up my lip and shushed me. Everything is going to be fine, you tried to assure me. Lifting up your hand and caressed my face, you continued and stared at my pouty lips. “Of course not. It’s you,” with a silent pause, you pointed directly at me with a lovingly stare “and I” you did the same back at yourself and held my hand, enclosing it together. “against the whole world”. You chuckled whilst you tipped your forehead on mines.

“Too cliché” I laughed at you but no doubt that made my heart flutter. Oh, how I wish he knew how much I love him.

[MONTHS LATER]

“Do you have everything packed?” I sighed deeply the minute I rummaged through the closet. I stopped as soon as I saw the yellow hoodie hung inside. “You forgot the hoodie!” I chuckled though scared, deeply hoping this isn’t what I think it is.

“That’s your favorite. Keep it” he smiled but those words pierced straight through me. I felt what he meant. My last token for our relationship, isn’t it? What happened to all those you and I against the world? Were all those just things to make me feel relieved?

“Oh” I responded dryly and gulped, pressing my lips together to stop these drops from falling. “Mhm, ’kay” I closed the closet and faced the guy who’ll soon be leaving. “Go” You looked at me with pity and everything I didn’t want to see in your eyes. I’m okay, at least that’s what I like to believe. As I was busy trying to act tough because I don’t want you to see me being vulnerable once again, you gave me the warmth I needed. A necessity in my dark days.

“I’m sorry. I won’t leave you alone, maybe quite busy but I’d never wanted to split up with you” I finally cried after everything. It was a big wash down of emotions and you felt sorry again. It was a painful sight for you, I know.

“But those hoodies..” sniffs went in between those sobs. As usual, you tried to assure me by caressing my face. It was an act to show that we’ll still stay the same.

“I want you to return this to me after I become an idol. I want you to promise you’ll hold on to us. Wait for me okay?” That was the first and last time I’ve ever seen you cry. It hurts deep bad, but I didn’t want to be an obstacle to your goal as well. I’ll wait no matter how many years it may take.

[DECEMBER OF 2018]

Hey, I’m not sure if you still received my letters. It’s been long, don’t you think? I feel like you don’t remember me anymore but I was your first love haha. Would you still be able to know me after I come back there? I’ve heard you all over the news. Minho, the guy who brought K-pop internationally and broke the Billboard charts. I told you that you’d make it. Me? I’m now a surgeon. Not internationally, but definitely in the district. I’ll get there soon, right? One more question, can I return the hoodie? I did wait for you, hoping you did as well.

I sighed for only God knows how many times for this day. The more I’ve been sending letters, the less I’ve been receiving.

I held on to the letter and got up from my bed after hearing a call once again. The last time I was able to sleep was decades ago and so I had to go back to work. Luckily, it wasn’t a heavy operation but I just had to check-in by the hospital to get the patient’s results.

“Good afternoon, Mrs!.” My patient joked and I could clearly see my best friend smirking.

“Maddie! Stay safe when you get home alright?” I smiled greeting the patient who joked before getting ready to leave

“Hey, hey it’s not too safe to go outside yet. Call someone to assist you. Take care!” Another response of mine was said after a boy who was operated on and took rest for three weeks passed by me.

Beaming from ear to ear, I squealed and hugged my best friend tight. “ALICEEE!” It’s been years since I’ve seen her. She accompanied Min on his way to Korea. And before any of the readers misunderstand, they are siblings. Quite awkward at first if I must say but it’s great to know lots of information about him.

“Hush, we’re in your workplace. You told me that, right? Alice, don’t scream or get hyper whenever you’d come back here.” She mimicked the way I talked in an insulting manner, not that I’m offended by it. We just like to mimic one’s tone as a sign of sarcasm. “Well, look who’s talking?” She furrowed both of her eyebrows as I laughed and took my hands off her.

“So how was Korea, Lisa? Did you find someone? Maybe that guy who you friend-zoned at?” I started chuckling after seeing her blank face. It was honestly funnier to see her reaction. Her stop-it-kind-of-face made my laugh gradually get lower but never failed to make a remark soon after. I thought of someone and so I tried to casually ask her about it. “How are you and Min? Was Korea that good? Just wanted to ask because I’m scared to get into their hospital” I shrugged it off but saw her eyebrow raise. Of course, she always knows what’s up.

“So is this why you’re called Mrs.? Mrs. Lee?” Now it was her turn to laugh. I playfully pouted and narrowed my eyes. “Excuse me?” I acted all offended, placing my hand to my chest as if I took it to heart “It’s miss for you, Mrs. friend-zoned” Rolling my eyes and entered my room, her never-ending saga of teasing me continued.

An hour came by after packing all my things left in the hospital room and we talked about our lives. She still never told me a single thing about Min because of her chattiness. We got in the car and went to the airport. My flight has been called and so I had to leave.

“Wish we could’ve spent more time. I’ll come back soon anyways after visiting the hospital” she hugged me so tight causing me to be so confused.

“Min.. I tried to talk to him” I looked at her in the eye asking for some problems that happened years before. Though no words that came out of her were expected.

“But he didn’t want to hear anything about you”

Hours came by like a flash but my thoughts filling out my mind went by for years. I arrived at my destination but is this truly where I am destined to be in? I knew there was something much more than her words because her voice was shaky.

I didn’t leave a single minute to go by my hospital though. Work always comes by my mind. But usually, I would hang by the café in your building hoping to see you pass by. There were no people because I was busy studying late at night after the closing time. It was scary, but I was too busy to notice.

“I miss you! I’ll come by soon, okay? You better wait for me, sweetie. Love you, take care!” I smiled after hearing my patient’s voice. She was a lovely kid and it seems like I wasn’t the only one missing her as well. It had just been a day yet Yeina has been panicking through the whole call.

“Got a boyfriend now?” The one who talked suddenly came up near my seat and giggled. It was cute but I was busy closing all my documents. Besides, it was not that important. I responded unknowingly but was cut after hearing the voice.

“No, it was my patient. She’s a cute kid” I looked up and God-, was that the biggest thing I regretted but enjoyed at the same time. The guy I waited for years was the same guy who didn’t want to hear anything that involves me. The guy who didn’t want to talk, approached me first with the same smile as if nothing happened. I don’t know what to feel nor what to say. It took whole 5 minutes of me trying to smile awkwardly.

“So, no hugs, internationally known surgeon who cured people around the world for the guy who is loved by his lovely fans?” You looked at me shocked but smiled as soon as I got back to my senses. Everything still remained vivid in your head when I thought it wouldn’t be.

I went up to you and cried in your embrace. The same warmth, it never changed even after all those years. “I thought you had forgotten” I tried to explain though it came out as short phrases because of my sobs. You held my head to nuzzle near your neck and caressed my hair, patting in between.

“Thank you for waiting even in tough times. You did good, doctor”

[WEEKS LATER]

Yes, it just had been weeks. Everything was good but turned downhill soon after. I don’t know what’s hitting on you because you just turned.. off.

“ARE YOU CRAZY?” I yelled after you constantly trying to ignore me. “Wow, so now you’re deaf?” I exclaimed as I held on to your arm and making you turn around and face me.

“You wouldn’t understand anyway!” Loud shoutings were just everything that was heard in the room. I am patient but was frustrated that moment you took on that dumb decision.

“So now I was wrong here? YOU QUITTED THAT FKING JOB OF YOURS BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T FEEL LIKE IT? YOU FELT BORED? The world doesn’t adjust for you! It’s not like you are the reason why the Earth revolves! It’s not easy to find a new goal and get it as soon as possible!” I expressed all my thoughts because things weren’t matching up. Who the hell leaves something just because he or she was bored? I felt like there was something more to it but why do you seem so nonchalant about it? It was that easy of a decision to make?

“SHIT!” You grabbed the vase and smashed it on the floor. That shocked me. I was clearly shaking yet I tried to stand by my point.

“Why did you come back here anyway?” I felt the world stopped. No, because he was actually true. Why did I come back here? Expecting that the love of my life would be the same even when it had been years he didn’t bother to call? Even after all these years, the guy I waited for would remain the same? After all the dating issues, he would stay irrelevant and think of me every day? I was just a surgeon not even known worldwide. Who am I to him?

“You’re right. I’m nothing to you anyway.” I packed up quickly placing all of my clothes unorganized. It was easy to get into someone but how is leaving not the same?

You tried calling me out but I left due to my blind optimism over the week. I came back to Korea but you soon got me with all those sorry. That was just a single moment that left a scar on me deeply. But now that I think of it, I was used to it because you were an on and off switch

The first day of a week you asked me out on a date then suddenly you claimed to have forgotten about it. You’d tell me how much you loved me, yet add me to the list of traitors who wouldn’t understand a single thing. It was basically just a love or leave me game of yours. It went on for months that I was tired of it. Sick of everything else but you suddenly turned nice again. I waited for the moment you would hate me as usual but it never came by. Was it because you finally realized how much you had hurt me or were you trying to be nice because you were planning a sudden break-up. Maybe a Dear Jane letter? I was scared because I feel like it was more of the latter.

But after all the overthinking, another unexpected thing came by. You spoke the words:

“I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through after everything I’ve done. It hurts so bad and I don’t want to see you taking all that pain anymore. I never had forgotten about you not even a single bit of my life. I made decisions that could lessen your pride and was also close-minded with all your opinions. But my love for you stays true which is why I wanted to stop seeing you cry. The only tears I’ll ever allow you to shed is the one I needed all my life. The words I wanted to wait for you on. This might be the most clichè thing you’ll ever see, but will you marry me?”

I could never get over that preparation of yours. Because who’d knew you were actually into those surprises? I looked at the ring and smiled at it. How precious this is to me. But time surely passes by fast.

Looking at myself in a white gown, we passed by on lots of obstacles but it felt like yesterday even though it took even years to convince my mother and bless the marriage. She allowed but was forced to.

I still remembered how my mom used to hit me several times every day just to understand if there was something wrong with my head, but apologized soon after because she believed my father was watching from heaven. Mom had many beliefs and one of them was to ask my father whether to accept me. She used to tell me with not a missing day left aside, “run as fast as you can”. Up until now, I find it too hilarious.

“Aren’t you rushing too much? You’re still nineteen” the one who placed my natural makeup on, whispered in my ear.

That was what I was scared of. I was anxious about getting hurt at 19 what more if I was getting married then it went downhill when I was 19? But you were a risk I was willing to take every day, so why not? I know you’ll stay true to your words, I just know so.

“No” I responded short and smiled at myself for acting so brave with my thoughts. I went out of the hall and looked up to my mother who was dressed up so nicely. Sure, the girl who took time dressing me up, definitely did not say she wouldn’t attend if I marry Minho. I sarcastically remarked at her logic.

“So where’s that guy? It’s been 15 minutes since the guests have arrived!” She placed her hand on her hip and tapped her feet on the floor impatiently.

“Ma, he will arrive” I assured my mother and hugged her after I saw a glimpse of tears on her face. Of course, she raised me, and to finally see me with a guy who will take care of me then, she would be brought into tears. She told me once, before the wedding starts, all her thoughts including how she was sad about me leaving but happy about me finding and receiving the love I am willing to fight for. She doesn’t show it as much but she knows how much of a good guy Min is.

“You’ll be Mrs. Lee minutes later!” I found Lisa near the entrance and hugged her. “I told you we would have the same last name years ago!” she continued

Minutes came by and indeed you look handsome in a tux. Everything was worth the wait. You were worth waiting for. We’ve said our vows that express our love would remain until forever runs out, and it was truly you and I together against the world.

[PRESENT]

At least that is what was supposed to happen.

Your dumb-ass mind left me hanging and crying on the white dress. Everything was prepared and you suddenly decided not to show up? You were claiming you had forgotten? What kind of excuse is that? You were no doubt an expert on saying sorry. Just because, you were an exception when it comes to me not being forgiving. Just because, you’d know how to get me back. With a single smile, sorry, that’s it! My mind would start to revolve once around you, playing hide and seek or chase. I was always the one chasing and I’m tired of having to run a hundred miles just to get that love I wanted, which you never wanted to give anyway. It’s all you and your sick need of giving love and taking it away.

Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in a white dress who was supposedly having fun on her grand day, went away and started crying? I should’ve followed what my mom said. You should’ve known and I should’ve seen. I was played, you were the one who controlled the game.

“Where will you take me, Alice?” Truly, it’s hard to have feelings for a guy who is the brother of your best friend. If things go wrong, then clearly your friendship is over.

“To him” you responded shortly, tightening your grip on my wrist.

“Stop. I don’t want to go.” I forced her hand off me and whined in a frustrated manner because clearly, you screwed up Alice.

“Could you please stop?! I’m sick of this! He doesn’t have to hide it forever!” You looked away and continued dragging me as soon as I stopped. Hiding what now?

I don’t know what to say when I meet you. Scratch that, I didn’t even want to meet you anymore. Because what if this habit of mine comes up and actually accepts you? I’m tired of it but there’s just something that makes me want to hold onto the love or something that isn’t in you anymore.

You took me in a place so questionable as you stopped and cried. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and yet you say it was the right place. That can’t be, right? How did this happen? Shaky hands, dry throat, words don’t come out my lips. “I’m sorry” I didn’t know why that was the only thing that escaped from my tongue. I did not accept it yet because I belived that wasn’t reality.

Lisa took me to a hospital in which I saw you laying down, unconscious.

I could do nothing but curl down. I was hurt but I never did ask for this. “Alicia, since when?”

“The doctor told me he had cancer way before you went back to Korea. This is why he didn’t want me to talk about you because he gets hurt and couldn’t even imagine what you would do in lengths just to cure him. He used to joke about how you loved him the same way he did. Side effects? Memory loss, sudden mood swings. You know, he was the same guy you knew in the past. Except, he had gotten braver of leaving you behind just so you wouldn’t get into more pain as to seeing his condition. He was very open but he thought of decisions way better when it comes to you than of himself. He loved you every single day of his life and I do know how he misses your touch, crying himself to sleep. He faced a much harder life, missy. As to the wedding, he said he had forgotten about it but it was more due to the reason of having a husband that wasn’t able to take care of until the end of the world, when he promised you to. It was because of a guy not being able to see you getting known worldwide nor exposing you in all medias, when he wanted you to. It was because of a man who simply wanted you to be happy, because he needed that too.”

This is the point where my world started to crash. It wasn’t you who should’ve known. It was me. I should’ve been there at times you need someone to rely on. I based on my selfishness and need for love, not knowing that what I need was the thing that kept me from hurting. I’m sorry for misunderstanding. I’m sorry for making things harder for you. I’m sorry for not opening up all my thoughts about you. I’m sorry because I left you fighting against the world, and I stood by just watching. I felt as if I was the person who was miserable and yet it was you who was trying to act tough.

Lisa continued to tell all those hidden words of yours “I even remembered the time he continued blaming himself for hurting you but concluded that it was everything that he could do. His situation isn’t something that can be fixed and he knows about that even if he wasn’t told about the months he have left. He told me that once you come back and see how bad of a person he is for leaving you all alone and asking you to wait, I am allowed to tell you everything once you’ve moved on.” The girl I’m talking with continued crying filling out the silence I make.

It was a shock and seeing you were the only thing that made me cry deeply. I couldn’t breathe as my chest weighed heavily. I grasped my shirt as I was desperately needing to calm down. But none of this sight made me calm down. I understood the situation I did, but it was too far, in reality, to keep it in check. You were unconscious and Lisa wanted to let me see you before your last breath. Standing up, I cried up to you.

“Idiot” I sniffed, Trying to act strong and let it all out but that’s everything I could only say. “You said our story was cliché. What happened to the true love’s kiss that wakes one up?” I kneeled down and held your hand with the ring that was encircling your fingers. I felt the cold air as tears continued flowing. I kissed your hand and gulped, crying helplessly. Is there really nothing I could do?

“The last time he saw you were way back you were able to smile again. He said it was a blissful sight to see and he would be happy even if that were to be the last time.” Lisa explained and cried her heart out as well after seeing such a painful sight.

“You do know you can see me every day right? Wouldn’t that be nice?” I tried to persuade an unconscious body who can’t hear my words. “Hey, wake up” I clasped our hands together and entwined both. “I’m here, so wake up. I’ll be with you until the end okay?” The volume of my talks gradually decreases but I still believe you can open your eyes up. I know so. I know that at this very time you could still see me and hug me, letting me feel the same warmth I needed once again. “I’ll be with you and it’s still going to be you and I against the world. Cliché right? I know you’ll never miss a chance to tease me when I take that cheesy statement. So please do. Please wake up and talk to me once again. I am here for you.. always and forevermore”

I closed my eyes and heard the beeping of the machine. I looked at you and the monitor that showed a single, straight line. I sighed deeply and my heartbeat is everything I could hear. Repeating your name, demanding you to wake up but all I could do at the end of the day is being so helpless. Even my optimism couldn’t change my mindset yet I was hopelessly begging to see your loving eyes as Lisa and the other staff held me out of the ward for the doctors to take care and clean up everything.

I wished to see those eyes I never noticed years ago. I didn’t know whether it was my selfish act or optimism that kept me not noticing all those details but if only I could see those once again, I could’ve lessened your pain before you disappeared. I was wrong but even up to this end, I hope you know that I love you and forever will do, Min.

I see it all now that you’re gone, don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

[ssa-daddyhotchner]

The Struggle of Loving You - Chapter 36

Chapter Selection 

I walked through the hallway and went down to her office. I entered the passcode and walked inside, Garcia was talking with Morgan. 

"Hey", she looked up at me and so did Derek. I stepped closer to the two of them.

"I'm sorry... about yesterday. It really wasn't a good day for me."

Morgan leaned back in the chair, "You yelled... y/n you don't raise your voice. You wanna talk about it." I sighed and sat down. I didn't want to be the person that was completely closed off from everyone else. 

I was talking to Morgan more than Garcia because she already knew about Chloe's death. "I was called down to the morgue yesterday because a friend of mine was murdered." 

"Agent Prescott", Garcia answered. 

"Yeah, she was my roommate in college and was also in Hotch's class with me." I shouldn't have said that but honestly I didn't really care at this point. 

"Wait, you two knew each other before you were hired." 

"Yeah, we were friends." They just smiled and glanced at each other like they knew some secret. 

"You and Hotch?" 

I nodded.

"You sure you're just friends? A little bird told me that she saw you somewhere yesterday." Of course Garcia told him. 

That woman is everything but silent. I should've asked her to keep it quiet at least with that information, she would've respected it. I wasn't mad at her though I knew that she probably would've anyways. 

"Ahh, well since I'm assuming the bird was curious enough to track my phone", I turned from Morgan to Garcia and she smirked. "And that she saw I was at Hotches, there I said it... I was at his house." 

"And may we ask why?", Derek asked with his eyebrows raised.

"No you may not but obviously your profiler brain doesn't turn off and you'll figure it out eventually, but I'm not going to be the one to tell you. Now if that's all I— actually we have work to do." 

I tugged on Morgan's arm and pulled him up, he started chuckling as we said bye to Garcia while walking out of her office.

The door shut behind him, "You're not gonna tell me what you were doing there? Cause while you were there he was here. You were there by yourself.... in his house." I rolled my eyes and he kept his focus on me. 

"What do you think I was doing?", he gave me a smug grin. I started laughing and I nudged his shoulder. 

He raised his eyebrows, "I'm right aren't I?" He saw the blush creeping onto my face. "Yup, I am." 

"Yeah okay", when we walked into the bullpen we went our separate ways. 

Yesterday being in a slightly dark place I was grieving painfully myself and honestly even if they didn't know it completely, the team was helping me. 

The little jokes they told brought a smile to my face. 

It pushed that grief to the side, but I had ways to go before I was actually fine and I made peace with that fact. These things took the time they needed to pass through. 

The rest of the day we were all working, there was so much that needed to be done. There was no time for a subtle conversation anywhere in the day. 

When everything was over I felt someone standing over me, I looked up. 

"Oh hey", Reid had his bag over his shoulder as he was getting ready to leave. "You're still coming tomorrow right." 

I forgot about the convention with the events that occurred in the last week. I was still excited to go even though I know for a fact I wasn't going to understand anything they were going to be talking about. 

"Yeah, can you pick me up tomorrow? I don't really feel like driving." 

"It's not a problem, see you." He stepped away from my desk. 

"Bye", I waved and Spencer walked into the elevator, leaving the building. I still had one last thing to complete while I was still at work and all of my energy went to staying awake and alert.

Fatigue pulled at me to just lay my head down and rest but I forced my gaze on the paper in front of me. Keeping my eyelids open was more work than completing the file. 

My focus started shifting to the dim light peaking through Aarons office door. 

My mind also started thinking about Chloe... I really should've been there with her, regardless if we were still friends or not. 

Someone took the time to burn her, set the place on fire. She was barely recognizable. 

Her face was charred and all you could see was the tissue and muscle under her skin. 

I don't need to be thinking about that right now

I finished the file and took it in my hand while I stepped towards his door, pushing it open slightly. 

"Hey, how are you doing?", Aaron asked, setting down his pen. His eyes softened at the sight of me coming towards him. The door shut behind me and the blinds were closed. 

I placed the folder on his desk and went over to his chair, he pushed back giving me room. I straddled his lap and he brushed the hair off my shoulder, still looking me in the eyes. 

"Baby what is it?", I disregarded the question and pressed my lips with his. 

The hand moving my hair was now on my hip as I started shifting back and forth on him. I was gently grinding down when he receded, my eyes rested on his face. "What are you doing?"

"Getting distracted", I breathed out, going to kiss him again. Aarons bottom lip was caught between mine and I bit down. He didn't mind as I pushed my tongue over his and we groaned into the kiss. 

I was holding my breath, I didn't want the feeling I had at the moment go away. 

My hand rose and tugged at the hair on the back of his head. I pulled his head back and started littering his neck with kisses. My hand traveled down his chest and palmed his growing bulge. 

He pushed me back. 

"I don't feel comfortable with this right now, it's only been a day since you got the news." Tears started to well in my eyes. 

Aaron paused using his thumb to try and dry my eyes. "I feel like I'll be taking advantage." 

"You're not, I'm letting you." I protested, really needing my mind to be busy with something else other than death. 

"You're not in a clear state of mind y/n..." He took my hands off of him and put them on his thighs. 

"Not right now... okay." 

I nodded and leaned my head forwards into his neck, he ran his finger tips up and down my back, comforting me... I broke down for the first time today. My tears soaked through his suit jacket and I gripped his waist, holding onto him.

"Shhh baby, I know." He whispered into my ear. 

"Come on", he tried to get me up. "You're not done yet." 

"I know but I can do it early tomorrow, let's go." I stood up with Aaron and we grabbed our stuff. He waited for me at my desk and held out his hand. 

My face was drying with the tears that stained my cheeks. It was a slow way home, he went out of the way and bought us some ice cream. 

It was a sweet gesture to try and cheer me up, even if it didn't work but that didn't matter. 

He pulled up to his house and there was a car in the driveway. Both of us exited the car and Aaron unlocked the front door. Jack and Jessica sat on the couch, waiting for us. 

"Hey, he already ate, he's just a little sleepy." 

"Thank you." Jessica gave Aaron a hug and she went to the door. 

"Bye", he said before she shut it behind her. I locked the door and Jack rose off the couch and walked over to me. 

"Can you bring me to bed?" I smiled and bent down to pick him up and take him to the room. 

Setting him down I heard Aaron shuffling around the house, picking up our things. I brushed the hair that flopped on Jack's forehead and I pressed a small kiss. "Goodnight sweetheart." 

Jack pulled the blankets over his shoulder and yawned before sleeping instantly. 

Turning off the nightlight I left his bedroom and walked into Aarons room. 

He was already in bed leaning against the headboard. I let out a sigh and began getting ready to lay down. Taking off the pants and blouse, Aaron watched as I undressed. 

Brushing my teeth I turned off the lights and I crawled under the covers. 

"Are you okay?"

"I'm going to be." He scooted down and my chest was on his. I drifted pretty quickly from the heat that radiated off his body.

......................

Permanent taglist: @qtip-blog @hotch-meeeeeuppppp  

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

From Eden: One

Warnings: noncon sexual acts, mentions of mental illness; tags to be added throughout series

This is dark!Bucky. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: The mc suffers from agoraphobia. After a new neighbour moves in across the street, her home becomes even more of a prison.

Note: So I've decided to try something new. I'm hoping that you don't mind the new format. This story is written in first person in the form of diary entries. Transcripts will be included at the end of chapters to accomodate any who have issues reading the images.

I am still working on Omerta but chapter 12 is taking me a little bit longer to complete so hopefully this can tide you over until tomorrow. Thank you so much for your patience! And support!!

As always, if you are so inclined, please like, reblog, and comment. <3

Transcript:

Sunday

It rained today. I hoped it would break the humidity but the air is still balmy and thick. The garden is starting to droop without the usual June sunlight. The shrubs look healthy but I don’t know if the mums will bloom. It is late for them.

The windows are clouded now the rain is gone. Once they dry, it will be suffocating again. I should have pulled out the old patio set last weekend but Lorena was here for the groceries. My meds are running low, I’ll have to remind her.

Oh, I found the old afghan grandma used to use. The one with the knitted flowers. Not a single hole. I’ll wash it and hang it over the loveseat in the lounge. It still smells of her. It’ll be two years next week. I miss her.

The kettle is whistling. Lorena bought a new flavour of tea; a spiced rooibos. It smells more suited to the winter but I’m anxious to try. It’ll boil over if I keep writing. 

I found a documentary on a country house in the British Midlands. I might watch that with my tea. Or maybe fall asleep on the couch. Again.

Monday

I have a new neighbour.

Today, I went out to check the bulbs I planted two weeks ago. I don’t think they’ll bud. It was humid and I had sweat in my eyes as the large truck pulled up across the street. The orange moniker on its side was faded and its white paint was almost yellow. I peeked out the gate as they backed it up. 

The beeping was horrible, almost deafening.

A car was just behind it. I shouldn’t be so curious but grandma always said I was a watcher. Watching is easy; doing is… difficult. 

My new neighbour is a man. He has dark hair and a thick beard. I thought I was hallucinating when I saw the rest of him. His arm shone in the sunlight. It’s metal! I’ve never seen anything like it. I never saw a prosthetic that ended in anything but a hook or a blunt stump. I guess, I never really thought much about it.

I think he saw me too. It is hard to see behind the ivy that covers the front gate but I swore he could see me. I hid before I could make sure of it. It’s rude to stare. That’s what grandma would say. So went back to the flower bed and dug up the bulbs. They were dead.Lorena is coming tomorrow. I’ll ask her to grab more.

Tuesday

Lorena came buy today. She commented about my new neighbour. I acted surprised.

I gave her my list and reminded her of my pills. She was gone for a while before she returned. When she returned, I helped her bring in the bags. We unpacked them and she told me about her new niece; Cora. I think that’s a pretty name but Lorena thinks it’s too old fashioned. She said I would like it given my usual tastes. 

She asked if I was wearing grandma’s shirt. I lied and said I wasn’t.

I showed her the garden and she had some tea after helping me set up the heavy iron patio set with the mosaic tabletop. 

She showed me pictures of Cora. She said when she marries Shelby, she wants to adopt but her sister offered to be her surrogate. I thought that was nice.She left shortly after. I’m in the garden, staring at the old shed as I write. The frame around the window is starting to fall apart. I should fix it soon. And maybe clean the--

Later

The man was at the gate. The one with the metal arm. He scared me.

I hid behind the ivy as I looked out at him. His eyes are very blue. Piercing. Despite the heat, they made me want to shiver. His metal fingers wrapped around one of the curlicues of the gate. He said hello and that his name was Bucky.

I nearly swallowed my tongue as I ran away. I didn’t dare grab my diary until the sunset. He was gone, thank god. I hope he doesn’t come back.

Wednesday

Doctor Tisha called today. She wants me to come in at the end of the month to have my prescriptions reviewed. I told her they were helping much better than the old ones. No more vertigo or manic fits, but my dreams are really vivid. She also reminded me that I should make more of an effort to go beyond the garden. The pills can’t do all the work. Well, I think there are parts of me that just can’t be fixed.

I cleaned out the birdbath but the shed window is still drooping. There’s a spider web above the door and I’m working up the courage to open it. My grandma was always the brave one; she called her slippers ‘the exterminators’. She always made me laugh.

Then the man returned. His knuckles make an odd clinking on the gate when he knocks. I didn’t move at first. I’d rather have faced the spider and her web. But he kept on and it was getting rather annoying.

He pulled some of the ivy aside as I got close. I kept to the edge and peeked out at him. He held a box of freesias. 

“Hey again.” 

 He speaks as if he knows me. I don’t like that. He didn’t even care that I didn’t answer. 

“I see you like to garden so I thought I’d bring you some flowers. To introduce myself…. Better. I’m sorry if I scared you yesterday.”

I didn’t know what to say. The freesias were all shades of red, orange, and yellow. Young with a bit of growing still to do. I shook my head.

“You don’t want them?” He asked.

I frowned so hard it hurt my cheeks. I haven’t talked to anyone by Lorena or Doctor Tisha since grandma died. I was never good at that.

“No, I don’t know you.” I felt as if it was someone else talking.

He blinked and I suddenly felt very dizzy. I ran back to the shed and ripped the door open without thinking. The web caught in my hair as I slammed it shut behind me. I sat in the shadows as I tried to wipe away the web. The old rubbermaid lid warped beneath me, if not cracked. 

 I didn’t come out until the musty air made me sick. As I ran into the house, I noticed he had left the flowers on the other side of the gate. I locked the door behind me and shuddered. I swore I felt eight legs crawling down my arm.

Thursday

Sure enough, the flowers are still there. They haven’t wilted at all despite the intense heat of the sun. June is in full effect and the days get brighter and longer. 

 I found the old weather vane grandma said was swept away in a storm. It was hidden behind the row hedges along the stone wall around the yard. It’s bent but fixable.

 I went inside to eat at noon. I looked out the window as I ate; the strawberries were sour. I saw a shadow through the gate. I watched for a while, sure it was the shifting of the sun. Then I saw the metal fingers and the man’s square jaw as he tried to see past the ivy. He knelt and touched the dainty petals of the freesia. He lifted one of the small pots to sniff and placed it back in the box.

He left shortly after. I won’t go back out. I need to work on the house anyway. All this dust is making me sneeze.

Friday

The flowers are still there.

I refuse to look at them. Instead I focus on my own. I brought the old sony tape deck out to listen to the radio. Grandma always said it was older than me. I believe her. The speakers crackle and the antenna kept falling off.

The robins and sparrows were at the birdbath and a pair of cardinals have taken up in the old painted birdhouse around the back. The squirrels broke the window frame on the shed. Well, I’ll deal with that next week.

The flowers are starting to bloom nicely. I thought they might not, given the late showers and the sudden drought. 

There was a monarch butterfly by the carnations. It flew away before I got too close. My mother liked monarchs. I remember she had one framed in her room. Like the picture of her in grandma’s.

I try not to think of her. Or grandma, too much. 

It makes me sad. Doctor Tisha says this isn’t grandma’s house anymore, it’s mine. My life is mine, she tells me. It’s never really felt like it but I’m trying.

Saturday

The lock on the gate is broken and the flowers are gone. They didn’t go far. I found them planted by the lilies. I had tears in my eyes and my hands shook terribly as I wound an old bike lock around the gate. I picked up the pieces of the old latch. It’s totally ruined.

I haven’t been out since. I’m scared. Was it him? 

It seems like a kind gesture but the memory of the busted lock makes me think otherwise.I’m confused. What does he want?

He should’ve let the flowers wilt and die. Or maybe I should just learn to tell people to leave me alone. Out loud.

[spidernerdsblog]

Seven

A/N : Inspired by Taylor Swift’s song Seven from the album folklore. This can be read as a standalone as well as a continuation of the Homecoming fic.

Pairing : Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Summary : The first time you and Peter met each other but destiny pulled you apart.

Warnings : none just soft feel good vibes.

"Oh Peter! You're a lifesaver." You exclaimed.

"Thank you so much for letting me copy your chemistry assignment." You breezed into his room dropping your backpack on his bed.

"You should not keep things for last minute Y/N." Peter advises.

"Now you also don't start." You huff as Peter arched his brows shaking his head.

"I know, I know I shouldn't but with this whole hydra base infiltration mission it completely slipped out of my mind."

"Plus organic chemistry is not my cup of tea." You shrugged.

"Says the literal beauty with brains Y/N Stark that's quite hard to swallow." He looked at you skeptically.

"Oh now you think I'm beautiful huh?" You raised a sly brow smirking.

"Umm no - I mean yeah - not like the way you're thinking." He stuttered.

"Relax I was just messing with you." You chuckled.

"But believe me I hate that subject. What will I do if benzene has a constant problem with its electrons?" You complained dramatically.

"It's not that hard as you think, you just need to practice the structures daily." Peter began his lecture on organic chemistry.

"And once you understand the reaction mechanism it will be a piece of cake. Like for example during oxidation reaction.." You cut him off, unable to bear anymore of Prof Parker's lecture on organic chemistry.

"It's boring! Boring! Peter I'm giving you a boring alert!" You exclaimed.

"And If I had to learn about organic chemistry why would I come to you for help I would have straight away gone to uncle Bruce only."

"Okay sorry I just got carried away you know…"

"Yeah I know it’s your favourite subject which helped you make your web fluid blah,blah, blah but I don't have time for that right now so tell me where is your file?" You scrambled on his desk.

"I need to copy it fast!" Peter arched his brow questioningly at you. You gave your signature Stark eye roll that you obviously inherited from your dad.

"I mean take notes and write it down on my own." You clarified.

"In the right drawer of my desk."

"Okay I'll take it. You can now go for your patrolling or whatever spidermaning stuff you do." You waved your hand shooing him away.

You went near his desk and opened the drawer and rummaged around the things in it. You finally found the file and took it out when something caught your eye beneath it. You brushed away the junk stuff on it to find a cute little pink bow most probably it belonged to some little girl because it was quite old and dirty. You took your time to admire it and then turned to Peter who was about to change into his suit.

"Peter, why do you have this pink bow in your drawer?" His eyes went wide darting towards you.

"Give that to me!" He snatched it away from your hand.

"Hey!" You protested. Peter turned around clutching on to the bow.

"Whose is it Peter?" You nudged him.

"No-no one’s." He fumbled

"C'mon tell me about this special girl whose bow you have kept all these years, and we are best friends right? Best friends don't keep secrets. " You made a pouty face.

"It's actually a long time ago nothing interesting to tell Y/N." You went and sat on his bed resting your elbows on your knees and placing your chin on your knuckles. You blinked your eyes giving him your undivided attention. He understood that you wouldn't budge and shook his head in defeat smiling sitting beside you.

"I met this girl once at this park, Aunt May used to take me every afternoon to play. I was around seven that time so was she. She was like a ray of sunshine but the only thing was that her life was covered by dark gloomy clouds." Peter narrated you the story of this mysterious girl from his childhood.

Peter was a socially awkward kid since childhood so he never had that many friends. It was a lovely day Peter was strolling in the park on his own.He heard some noise it seemed as if someone was crying and it came from behind the tree. He walked around to find a girl sitting under the tree crying and went near her.

"Why are you crying?"

She didn't say a word and just looked at him teary eyed. Peter kneeled in front of her.

"Are you lost? I can call my aunt, she can help you.'' Peter asked her sweetly.

"No." she replied weakly.

"Then why are you crying?" fresh tears rolled down her cheeks again.

"Please don't cry." He wiped her tears with his small hands.

"I'm Peter. What is your name?"

"I can't say. Daddy will not like it."

"Okay." he tried to keep the conversation going.

"You come here everyday?"

"Yes. This is my playtime but I don't have anyone to play with."

"I can play with you." She smiled in return.

"What do you wanna play?"

"I don't know, you say." he was about to suggest something when a middle aged lady appeared from behind, most probably her nanny.

"It's time to go home, miss." she informed. And the little girl silently got up and held her hand as the lady took her back to the car parked in front of the park.

"Peter!" May called out as Peter looked back.

"There you are, I was looking for you everywhere." May said as she followed Peter’s gaze.

"Who's she?"

"My new friend, she was very sad as she doesn't have anyone to play with."

"Aww poor girl."

"I said I'll play with her."

"That's so nice of you Peter, you are such a good boy." May ruffled his hair.

Next day Peter was excited to go to the park to meet his new friend. She was sitting under the exact same tree like yesterday he went and sat beside her talking with her for hours. She finally started to open up to him. Both of them now always eager for afternoons a slight escape from their lonely lives. As they enjoyed each other's company laughing and running around the playground.

"Hi"

Her eyes sparkled seeing Peter as if she was waiting for him.

"Hi Petey!'' she exclaimed with joy.

"Can I know your name now?"

"I told you I can't Petey."

"Then what do I call you?"

"Whatever you want." She shrugged.

"Okay let me think." Peter frowned thinking hard when suddenly his eyes twinkled.

"How about Betty?" He asked, all excited.

"I like Betty." She smiled softly. He sat beside you as you talked about your day.

"Today aunt May took me to the cemetery to offer flowers to my mom and dad. I really miss them you know. You're so lucky that you have both your parents"

"My daddy doesn't love me." She sniffles.

"Why is that so?"

"He is always mad at me. He doesn’t like me."

"Hey don't be sad I will always love you to the moon and to saturn."

"When I collect enough pocket money we will move to India okay? I read in a book that it's a beautiful place."

"You pack your dolls and sweaters and I'll pack my Legos. Just you and me. You will never be sad again"

"Okay Petey." she gave a wide smile.

…….

"Hi Betty"

"Hi Peter!"

"I brought you something Betty."

"What Peter?" He handed her a yellow rose.

"May says yellow rose means friendship. And this will always remind you of our everlasting friendship, of me. "

"But I didn't bring anything for you Petey." she pouted sadly.

"It's okay Betty." Something went through her mind.

"Wait!" she pulled one of her pink bows from her braids and handed it to Peter.

"Here take this. This will always remind you of me."

A black Mercedes pulled over near the gate of the park. Betty's eyes went to the car and Peter noticed her body stiffen as soon as she saw a black suited man in black sunglasses step out of the car. He was most probably her bodyguard.

"Hey what's wrong?"

"I need to go. Bye Peter!" She hastily got up from the ground and ran away towards the car. The man opened the door for her. She glanced at Peter as she got inside the car. Peter stood there at his place as he raised his hand to wave her goodbye she waved back too. The black glass windows rolled up blocking them from each other's sight.

"And then she left and never came back. I never got to see her again." Peter exhaled.

"Everyday I went to the park in the hope that I’ll get to see her again but she was gone." Peter took a deep breath sighing fiddling with the bow in his hand.

"I don't know where she is now but I hope she is happy in her life. And all her issues with her dad have been resolved."

"Yup indeed they have got resolved and they are in better terms now." You chuckled lowly as your heart felt heavy.

"Yeah hope so."

"I'm sorry." You murmured.

"Why are you sorry?"

"I'm sorry I didn't come to say goodbye to you."

"What? What do you mean?" Peter asked, confused.

"That bow is mine Peter." You said softly gazing at the bow in Peter’s hand. Peter went silent as a sudden realization dawned upon him his eyes went wide. How could he forget the most important thing about that day, the man who had come to pick up Betty was none other than Happy. That means you're Betty, his Betty.

"You know after all the feud between Stane and my dad. Dad didn't want me to stay in such a dangerous environment and decided to send me to a boarding school."

"The day I was being sent away I cried, begged him to let me to go and see you for one last time but he didn't let me. And I'm sorry Peter that I left like that."

You turned to grab your backpack and took out your diary from it. You opened a significant page of your diary and delicately took out a dried yellow rose.

"I kept this too in your memory." You hold it out in front of him. You both were trying to fight back your tears but finally broke down as tears trickled down your cheeks. Those weren't sad tears, those were tears of joy. Of finally meeting your long lost friend.

Peter couldn't believe that the always sad and scared girl he knew has grown up to be such a fearless, intelligent girl who speaks her mind without giving a damn what others think of her.

When you saw the bow in his drawer you instantly remembered everything that is why you nagged him on telling you the whole story. You wondered how can you both be so oblivious about the fact that you have known each other for years. How couldn't you recognize each other even when you promised each other to remember for lifetime. Maybe you were destined to cross paths and then forget each other to be reunited again for some reason which none of you understand.

"I missed you Betty." Peter sniffled, smiling.

"I missed you too Petey." You held his hand brushing your thumb on the top of his hand resting your head on his shoulder. You remained like that for a while cherishing the moment. Peter silently listened to your slow and steady heartbeat smiling with content.

"You still wanna go to India?" You looked up at him smiling.

"I have got a private jet now." You gave a half shrug, the corner of Peter’s eyes crinkled as he laughed softly.

[murderousginger]

We Move Easy

Peaky Blinders fic

Cops & Robbers part 8 -- FINALE

Warnings: Fluff. Little Angst. They’re criminals guys, they do bad things.

Word count:4,385

Note: This is the end, guys! I hope you like it. 

You woke up alone. Loud voices echoed downstairs and came in through the door that was ajar. You heard John's and Arthur's roaring laughter and Ada yelling at them to quiet. Your mouth was dry and a light headache haloed your head. The night before was a blur, but you were still in the collared flower dress Ada gave to you to wear. 

You stood up and did your best to smooth the creases and fix the collar. Your feet were dirty, proving the events of the night weren't dreamt. You really had tried to barge into Sabini's -- now Tommy's -- club and stab the man. Instead, you were dragged back to Ada's and fell asleep cuddled against the man you were hurt by the most. 

You sighed, smoothed the skirt of the dress and made your way downstairs, following the laughter to the dining room. The table was filled with breakfast foods; everyone filled their plates greedily. Ada sat beside James, her hands massaging her temples as John and Arthur sat across from her horsing around. Neither looked like they slept yet but were still hyper from the night. Tommy, of course, took the head of the table. He was the first to notice you watching the happenings, and gave you a small nod as he exhaled his morning cigarette. 

"Good morning, everyone," you said, walking to the table and sitting beside John, "did you boys have an eventful night?"

"Did we ever," John said and elbowed Arthur, "we had a right celebration after our victory. Tom must have had some fun himself since he left for a smoke and never came back."

"Boss man must'ov got him a girl, eh?" Arthur joked before pointedly eyeing you. "Or did he come back early?"

Tommy hummed noncommittally and Ada looked between you both nervously. 

"Ada and I had a girl's night," You said, watching Ada shift in her seat and Tommy give you a warning look, "Like old times."

You filled your plate with a random assortment of foods and picked at it.

"We had such fun drinking wine and catching up that it went a little to my head this morning," Ada said, still rubbing her temples. "How are you fairing, (Y/N)?"

"I'm fine," you said stiffly. 

"Ey," John said as he looked over at you concerned "what's that bruise from?"

John smacked Arthur away from him as he turned and ran a finger over the faint bruise along your cheek. You flinched and caught his hand. 

"It's nothing," you said with a forced laugh while you glared at Tommy, "probably just a late comer from the business the other day. Did you ever sleep?"

Arthur chuckled. John shook you free, watching you closely before returning back to his antics. 

"No," Arthur said as he bit into some eggs, "had too much snow to come down."

"Likely to mean a quiet ride home once you lot pass out," Ada said as she dropped her hands from her head and reached for some fruit. 

You grunted and started eating. Arthur and John continued horsing around while eating and making the majority of the noise. James stayed quiet, watching the dynamics of the group. You gave him a small smile that he returned before he looked over at Tommy and turned sallow. Your brows knitted together as you looked over. Tommy's jaw was clenched as he stared at James. 

"And what about you, Tommy?" You called with a raised brow over the rough housing. "Still starving? You should probably eat something other than that cigarette."

Tommy assessed you cooly, detached almost. 

"I suppose I should eat before we're all back home," he said. 

"We?" You said, your eyes fluttered even though you had already locked your jaw. "Do you have room for everyone? I could always stay with Ada and worry about returning later. You boys were allowed your fun, I should be allowed mine."

"I have plenty of room," Tommy countered, "If you want a night out on the town, I can do that later. Harry should be expecting you for your shift, tonight, eh?"

"Harry didn't seem to be bothered about last night," you pushed as you locked eyes with Tommy. "He might not even need me with your growing enterprise, yeah? I could easily move into my old job and get you boys set up in the club here."

"Trying to leave us again, (Y/N)?" John asked, jumping into the conversation once he stopped his own with Arthur. "You'd only just got into the fold."

You let Tommy win as your eyes dipped before meeting John's worried glance.

"It's only a thought," you said softly. 

"We can talk on that later, (Y/N)," Tommy said loudly. "Today, you're coming home with us. We'll take you to your flat for some of your things and you'll stay at my house until we can clean yours up." 

Your eyes widened at the statement and the table immediately quieted. 

"I'm not staying in your house, Thomas," you said with a scoff. 

"It's not a request," he said as he rolled his eyes. "You can stay in Ada's old room. Just until your flat is cleaned and we know all the danger is passed."

"You beat Sabini," you argued. "Polly shot Campbell. What other danger is there for me but you?"

Tommy's eyes rippled with hurt before his face became cool and placid like still waters.

"It's not negotiable," he said. 

"Well then," Ada said with a tight smile as her eyes darted to everyone's faces, "does anyone want to start drinking again? I do."

Not long after everyone had their fill, Tommy drove the car around and had everyone say their goodbyes to Ada. Tommy all but pushed you into the passenger seat and Arthur and John crawled into the back. Not ten minutes passed before they both were sleeping on each other while Tommy drove the winding roads home. 

Tommy kept his eyes on the road until you heard a small snore from Arthur. He looked back at his brothers before he glanced over at you and cleared his throat. 

"I'm sorry," Tommy said softly. "I should have known someone would catch on about you."

"What about me, Thomas?" You pressed. "What are they catching on to, because I don't think I know myself."

"The others don't know of your taking," he said. "I think it's best if we try to forget it. The past is past."

He bit his lip as he watched you. The air was thick with words not spoken, but you let the silence hang between you like a man waiting for the noose.

"If you want a night out, let me take you," Tommy said, his hands and eyes steady on the task of driving. "I want to impress you."

"I don't want a fancy night out where you try to stuff my eyes with lights and blind me in decadence as payment for my silence," you laughed. 

"Let me take you to the pictures then," he retorted. "It's not for your silence."

"I have no use for fake stories on a screen," you said as you crossed your arms. 

"What do you want, then?" He said, looking over at you finally. "What's the way to your heart then, eh? Violence? Business?"

"Freedom," you sighed as you looked out of the car. The ride was silent the rest of the way back.

----

After Tommy dropped John back at his home, the rest of you went to your flat. You packed a bag of clothes and things quickly and climbed back into the car with a scowl. It was absolutely wrecked in there. The mattress and chairs were cut open, everything was tossed. Anything glass was shattered. Replacing everything would be impossible in one go if you wanted to keep eating and pay rent.

Arthur had woken up once John was dropped off and now watched you both silently from the back. No one talked. 

When you got to the house, you were the first to leave the car and bound into the house. You raced up the stairs. You caught yourself as you slowed to peek at Tommy's room, the place that was your haven just the other night, but you forced yourself to go down to Ada's old room, just one over. Arthur's room was across from yours with Finn's room and the bathroom at the end of the hall. You dropped your bag onto the floor and tried to settle in as you sat down on the bed. 

The room was about the same size as Tommy's and you realized quickly you did not want to stay in it for long. Your chest bubbled with anxiety and your lungs constricted as you looked at the empty walls. You felt trapped. 

You jumped from the bed as you heard the boys come in downstairs. You closed the door and grabbed a new dress from the bag and changed, hauling yourself to the small bathroom to freshen up. 

Before the men could come upstairs to find you, you bounded down the steps and nearly knocked Arthur over. He grabbed your forearms to steady himself as you spun around him and kissed his cheek before running toward the door. 

"Off to see if Harry needs help early, bye!" You called over your shoulder. 

You were out there door and into the early afternoon air before anyone could argue. You hadn't even looked Tommy's way. If he wanted to be silent, you would show him how silent you could be.

You made it to The Garrison in record time, only stopping by the bakery on the way to grab Harry's favorite sweet and a snack for you for dinner later. You opened the heavy doors, putting on a big smile as you searched for Harry. 

"I got you a treat," you sang as you dropped it in front of him and rounded the counter to put your apron on. "For not being here yesterday. I'll start early today."

Harry eyed you but took the treat. He bit into it and purred before he gave you a half-hearted glare. 

"Don't make it a habit," he said. "Not coming in, that is. I won't turn down a sweet, little bird."

Your fake smile broke into a real one and you nodded to him before you started getting the shelves ready for the night. 

The night was long and uneventful. Most Shelby's stayed away, probably resting from the previous night's antics. Finn and Isaiah and their group of younger boys came in, happily ordering beers all night, but otherwise the pub was pretty quiet with regulars doing the normal.

Harry sent you home before midnight. He said he could handle the rest, and your feet hurt from all of the standing so you were ready to go to sleep. You left for Tommy's house after you cleaned the tables and told Harry goodnight. 

The walk in the dark never bothered you much before, maybe it was arrogance or maybe it was familiarity. The walk that night had you on edge, though. Too much had happened recently and being alone made your head fill with fears and you jumped at any noise. You got to the house without a problem, but your heart was pounding anyway. None of the lights were on, so you slipped through the door and slinked up the stairs. You tiptoed past Tommy's room, his door open and the candle by the bed illuminating his bare chest. He was laying there, his hands behind his head on his pillow, his pants loosened but not off. His eyes to the ceiling.

"You're home," he said as he laid still.

"I'm here," you whispered back.

You pulled your eyes from his form and walked back to your room, shutting the door behind you. You leaned against the door and shut your eyes.

You ached to join him, to be comforted in his arms, but you fought yourself. You didn't want to fall prey to 'Tommy being Tommy,' and if he wanted to be two ways -- one in the day and another in the night -- then you wouldn't make it easy on him. He would have to come to you.

You sighed and stepped away from the door, dressing into a nightgown and slid under the covers and shut your eyes. 

"Get some sleep, yeah?" 

Tommy's voice was muffled through the wall but still startled you. It was almost like he was in the room with you. You didn't reply.

----

A few nights later, you had woken up with a jolt as a warm hand covered your mouth. You grabbed the wrist and started to fight before you even opened your eyes. Tommy was at the edge of your bed, hushing you. His face was covered in shadow.

"You were thrashing with nightmares again," Tommy said. "Your guilt and fear of those men is eating at you. I've heard it through the walls every night."

You bit his hand. He jerked away from you and you sat up to meet him eye to eye.

"What are you doing here?" You hissed. "Leave me to my own nightmares."

You had spent the past few days ignoring or avoiding him, only speaking when you had to. You tried to hide it, still treating the rest of the Shelby's the same. No one had mentioned it if they had noticed, but Tommy had grown more irritated and harder to avoid as the days went on. You spent most of your days out of the house and had spent extra hours at the pub.

"I can't take the digging in my head and you thrashing about," he said angrily. "Don't feel guilt over defending yourself."

You rolled your eyes and tried pushing him off your bed.

"Would you like to know what he felt?" Tommy whispered viscously, grabbing your hand and placing it on his throat. "Will that rid you of the demons in your head?"

You squeezed his throat for a moment and barred your teeth. It felt good to feel him swallow beneath your hand. You squeezed harder for a moment and glowed at the rush. The feeling terrified you. You faltered and dropped your hand.

"Why are you here?" You asked tiredly.

"Get dressed," he said as he stood up and walked toward the door. "I have something to show you."

You scoffed.

"Stop fighting me, woman, and get dressed," he hissed at you.

"Are you worried about my modesty?" You whispered incredulously as you stood from the bed and stared at his back. "Did the opium haze your memory?"

"Would you rather I watch?" He bit back and turned to you and crossed his arms. "Well, dress then." 

He gestured at you and you shifted, unsure of yourself under his gaze. It was dark and you could not see his expression, but you doubted it was desire.

"Can you please get dressed, (Y/N)?" He sighed. "I'd like to take you somewhere."

You bit your lip and nodded into the dark before you pulled out a dress and changed quickly. You watched his figure in front of you as you changed. Surely he couldn't see more than your outline in the dark.

"Alright," you said as you reached for his arm. "Let's go then."

Tommy took your hand and led you into the hall and down the stairs. You stifled a giggle as you reached the door. You were both grown but sneaking out like children. You reached the cool outdoor air and as soon as Tommy shut the door behind you, you let yourself giggle.

"Why are we sneaking around like teenagers, Tommy?" You asked as you twirled in the night air. "Isn't this what Finn's s'pose to do?"

He pulled you to him and caught one of your hands in his and started to slow dance to the quiet night. 

"Because it makes you young," he rumbled as you swayed. "And I like when you make me young."

You could almost see his eyes twinkle in the moonlight as he leaned down and kissed you softly. When he finally pulled away, you smiled.

"It's going to take a lot more than a kiss in the moonlight to win me over, Tommy Shelby."

"I've no doubt, love," he chuckled.

He pulled you with him toward the stables. He stopped you near the door and walked into the dark stalls without you. You could hear him as he rustled around and started soothing a horse in Romani in the dark. It sounded so similar to the times he soothed you when you were angry. Tommy's footsteps echoed closer as you watched him reappear with a black stallion in the doorway. You immediately cooed to the horse and ran your hands along his side and face. Even in the moonlight you could tell he was beautiful and sleek.

"He's beautiful, Tommy," you whispered.

"He's fast," he whispered back. 

He rounded the horse and wrapped himself around you tightly before his lips touched your ear. You leaned back into his chest for a moment. 

"I want to take you somewhere," he whispered as his hands found your hips. "Hike your skirts and I'll lift you."

Goosebumps tickled your neck as you did what he asked and he lifted you to sit on the horse. You squeezed your legs to stay on as you leaned forward and praised the horse for standing still. Tommy hadn't put a saddle or reigns on the stallion and you hadn't ridden bareback since you were children, so you clung to the horse for fear of sliding off. Tommy steadied himself and hopped on behind you. He leaned forward and patted the horse, whispering Romani words to it again. He leaned back to sit up straight and wrapped his arms around you to take hold of the horse's mane.

"Why do you treat me like a horse in need of soothing?" Your whisper had an edge to it and you felt him stiffen behind you. "The same voice you use for horses you've used on me."

"Because you're both wild," he rasped. 

You tried to turn to him but he wrapped you tighter into his arms as he gripped the mane. Your back was pressed to his chest and couldn't turn your head to verify what you already heard in his cracking voice. 

"Women and horses are always wild," he said. "And us men are just dogs nipping at your heels. Let's go."

He rode the horse through the open pastures and along the river until you could see a fire along the horizon and wagons littered near the shore. Hooting and hollering echoed along the bank and you could see dancing around the fire. 

"Are you ready?" Tommy whispered into your hair before he kicked at the horse and you went at a full run toward the party. 

You felt Tommy lean back and yip as you barrelled toward the wagons, finally slowing as you reached the edge. Tommy hopped off the stallion and opened his arms wide for you to slip off the horse. His hair was wild in the light of the flames and his cheeks had a flush from the chill of the night. You laughed as you slid into his arms and he spun you around, landing you on your feet beside him. He patted the horse and you stayed in his arms as you watched it wander off into the nearby field to eat. 

"Is that Tommy?" A man called as he appeared between the wagons. "Why, I haven't seen you at one of these since John's wedding. And who is your lovely lady?"

"Johnny!" Tommy called as he let you go and hugged the man.

Johnny's eyes flitted to you and back to Tommy as he said something in Romani in what sounded like a joking manner. Tommy chuckled and made a tsk sound before turning back to you. 

"Behave now, Johnny," he joked as he reached for your hand and pulled you next to him. "This is (Y/N)."

Johnny took your other hand and bowed his head before he kissed it and twirled you around. 

"Pleasure to meet you," he said as you giggled. "You've been hiding this one, Tommy boy, for good reason. Have a dance with an old man, lass, tonight's a night for fun."

You shot a glance to Tommy who smiled at the two of you and you nodded back to Johnny. He was already pulling you toward the fire, where dozens of people were dancing and playing instruments. 

"Careful, Dogs," Tommy called out as he appeared through the wagons and sat next to a few others on a log to watch you, "Keep those hands high or she'll cut you."

You watched Tommy light a cigarette before Johnny twirled you and pulled you into his arms. 

"I would expect no less from a woman who can keep Tommy in check," he laughed and danced you around the fire, weaving you in and out of other couples. 

Johnny grabbed a bottle from a passing man and took a long drink before handing it to you. You drank it without care and danced with abandon. Johnny howled as he twirled you faster. 

"Atta girl!" He called as you were traded to another and danced around the group, trading partners with dizzying speed as the music picked up faster and faster. 

You passed other women as you circled and twirled on and on. The world spun and faces flashed by you as the music went faster and faster and you all danced and passed, danced and passed until the music was at its peak and immediately stopped. You were flung into familiar arms as your laughter rang through the air and you met Tommy's twinkly blue eyes. He smiled down at you and lifted your arms to wrap around his neck as a slower song started to play. 

"Does Tommy Shelby dance?" You asked playfully. "I've never seen it."

"Can't have Johnny have all the fun," he chuckled as she moved your hips to the music. "He'd steal you away if I let him." 

"He's interested, is he?" You taunted as you twisted in Tommy's arms to dramatically look for Johnny, who was watching across the fire and shot you a wink. "Maybe I'll have a suitor after all."

Tommy chuckled as he pulled you back to him and growled lightly into your ear. 

"You're a hard woman to woo," he rumbled, giving you goosebumps as you swayed. 

"Is that what you're doing?" You breathed. "There's one problem with that, Shelby."

You looked up into his blue eyes as his brows knitted together in confusion. 

"You only want me in the dark," you pouted playfully but held an edge to your voice. "In the day you go about business and ignore me but in the shadows you soften. It's maddening."

"I live in the shadows, sweetheart," he said as he raised a hand from your hip and ran his thumb across your bottom lip. "I work in the dark and when I do join the light I wear a mask."

Tommy pulled your chin up to make you look down your nose at him.

"If that's something you don't want, I'll let you leave now," he said softly before he let your face go. "You can return to your flat and be a Blinder or a barmaid and I'll let you be. But I want you."

"I've never wanted a life in the light," you said and cocked your brow. "The shadows are much more comfortable. Felt safer with devils than I ever did saints."

Tommy smiled and leaned down to kiss you. His lips were soft at first but quickly his kiss engulfed you and his fingers dug into your skin. You stepped back a pace breathless before your mind clouded too much and you lost the words you had yet to say. The slow song had changed into a more up tempo one at some point that you couldn't quite place. 

"Oy, Tommy boy," you heard Johnny yell with a laugh over the fire. "Stop hogging my dance partner. (Y/N), pretty bird, come spin with me my love and leave that wild gypsy boy for a man."

Johnny called out to Tommy in Romani and yipped again before laughing.

"She's mine, Johnny," Tommy yelled back, eyes locked with yours. "You had your fun."

"So I'm claimed now, am I?" You teased. "Am I only claimed for the night or when your brothers can't see? Or maybe only when it's convenient?"

Tommy's hands pulled your hips to his until your lips grazed his own. 

"If you'll have me," he said as he ran his tongue along your bottom lip. "I'll claim you in the shadows and the light. In front of God and the devil himself."

"You'd make me a trophy." You whispered. "I don't want to be a pretty thing on your arm, Tommy. I'm not looking to be caged for my own protection. I'm a part of your business and I intend to stay that way."

"You've called me King Tommy for ages," he said as he kissed you on the lips. 

He kissed your jaw and made a trail of kisses down your neck. You felt butterflies and chills as you tilted your head back and closed your eyes. You noticed the redirection but decided to allow it for the moment. It felt too good not to.

"That's because you rule Birmingham," you said breathlessly. "And now London. You're like bloody Alexander the Great."

You pushed down a moan that began in your chest as his lips parted into a smile and he chuckled against your neck. 

"Well then," he said as he kissed back up your neck and held your face in his hands. He looked at you with soft eyes as he inhaled a shaky breath. 

"How would you like to be my queen, eh?" 

His voice was strong but his eyes danced over you in the light of the fire. Shadows crossed his face as he waited for your answer. You placed your hands on his and squeezed. You had never seen him look this young before.

"I'd want nothing more, Tommy Shelby."