#so yes i missed christmas i missed new years i even missed valentines day BUT IM STILL ALIVE AND KICKING!!!

[unculturedswine69]

sooooo i finally got gaiden which means i have been getting back into yakuza again!!

here are some sketches that i coloured cuz i do not rlly have the motivation for much else currently <3

[literaryavenger]

New Year's Eve

Summary: A game of two truths and a lie reveals to the team a fact about the you that Bucky can’t seem to stop thinking about.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Female Reader

Warnings: Minimal use of Y/N. Language 'cause why not. A lot of fluff. My poor attempts at being funny. Mutual pining, idiots in love. Self-deprecating thoughts.

Word Count: 3.2K

A/N: Happy New Year's Eve! Thanks for all the messages when I was sick, I'm finally feeling better and I'm negative for Covid! I really wanted to post something for New Year's Eve and this came from a fever dream I had when I was sick, lol. I hope it's any good and someone enjoys it! A particular thank you to @ordelixx for helping me with this story!💘I've only started posting here about a month and a half but I'm really enjoying it and feeling more and more comfortable in my writing. I hope I'm also getting better at it. Anyway, I have big plans for the New Year that I hope you'll enjoy! This year hasn't been great for me, but I'm planning on working harder than ever to make sure the next one is a year I can be proud of. I hope you guys have a nice last day of 2023 and an amazing start of 2024! Love you all.💘

Masterlist

“Ok, your turn, Kill Bill. Two truths and a lie, go.” Tony says, referring to the fact that you fight with swords, making you roll your eyes before you join in on the laughter.

“Ok, uhm...” you try not to look at anyone so you don’t give away the answer “I have a teddy bear that I sleep with, I have bungee jumped from the top of the tower and I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss.”

You look back up to the room and wait for their guesses.

It’s a Friday night and the people that remained in the Tower for the holidays decided to have a little game night.

Every year the same people stay around, having nowhere in particular to go, and spend Christmas together. 

Clint and Scott usually spend this time with their families, this year Thor decided to go to New Asgard with Bruce and Loki to visit Val and Korg, and Peter decided to spend it with aunt May and Happy.

You usually alternate between going to visit your family and staying in the tower each year, and this one was your turn to go to your first home.

You came back the day after Christmas, never being one to miss Tony’s New Year’s Eve party that’s gonna happen in two days now.

“Well, we know she has a teddy bear.” Wanda says.

“Do we know that?” Tony turns to you, narrowing his eyes. “Do you have one?”

“Yes, she does, we’ve seen it” Natasha answers for you while you glance at Bucky, praying he doesn’t put together that they’re talking about the teddy bear he gifted you for Valentine’s Day this year along with flowers. 

Natasha and Wanda were more happy than you when you told them, sustaining that he did it because he liked you until you pointed out that he gave flowers to them too, because he’s sweet and a gentleman and that’s just who he is.

They wouldn’t let up on the fact that neither of them got a teddy bear though, and you would have agreed with them but Bucky never really did anything else about it so you decided to let it go and not read too much into it.

You're brought back to the present by Tony.

“Ok, so she has one. Then it’s gotta be the New Year’s kiss, everyone has had one at least once in their life,” he was looking at your reaction very closely while talking, but you did your best to keep an easy smile and not give anything away.

“Even Captain Virgin over there had one last year.” he adds vaguely waving towards Steve’s general direction. 

You crack at the nickname and at the undignified sound Steve made while blushing and glancing at Nat that shared that kiss with him.

“Tony, there’s no way that she bungee jumped from the roof without us knowing, that’s gotta be the lie.” Sam interjects, also watching you closely for any signs of a reaction that you manage not to give.

“Alright, just take your guesses, people.” You say to the group.

“New Year’s Kiss.” Tony all but yelled, Natasha and Wanda agreeing with him.

“Bungee jump.” Sam says and Steve and Bucky agree, then they all seem to hold their breath as they wait for your answer.

It’s not a surprise that even these stupid little games cause a lot of competition amongst the team.

“Neither.”-you finally said and let out a laugh when they all groan in annoyance while taking their shots for guessing wrong.

“WAIT- you bungee jumped off the ROOF? When?!” Steve seems more concerned than anything.

“Well, you know a few months ago when we happened to all be on different missions at the same time?” They nod, not knowing where you're going with this “Clint and I came back first from ours, we were bored and there was no one around to stop us from doing anything stupid so…” you trail off, shrugging while laughing. 

Steve looks shocked, Sam is laughing his ass off while Tony immediately goes to look for the security footage.

They all cheered while watching you throw yourself off the roof, Clint's yells and laughter could be heard, and then Steve shakes his head while joining you in the laughter when you see Clint take his turn and scream like a little girl while you fall to the ground laughing on the video. 

Once you all composed yourselves, Tony pokes Wanda’s arm “I thought you said she had a teddy bear.” he's looking at her like she brought him on a treasure hunt and then betrayed him and left him for dead on a deserted island.

“She does! She got it from-” you interrupt her before she can finish the sentence, blushing a little and avoiding Bucky’s eyes.

“I do have a teddy bear, I just don’t sleep with it.” you say, shrugging.

“Oh, come on, that’s cheating!” Natasha whines.

“It’s really not, just because I do have one it doesn’t mean I didn’t tell a lie about it” you laugh at her pout.

“Wait a minute, so you’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?” Tony looks at you like you suddenly grew two heads.

“It’s not a big deal. Funny thing is, I have had boyfriends during New Year’s Eve, I just never happen to spend the day with them.” you say absentmindedly while thinking back at all the parties you’ve been to over the years to celebrate the new year.

“Really?” it's so quiet you almost missed it, your eyes snapping up to meet Bucky’s that were already looking at you.

“Is that so hard to believe?” The room seems to go quiet as everybody looks at you two, but you're too focused on each other to notice.

“I didn’t- I mean…” his cheeks started to turn a little pink as he seemed to have trouble finishing his sentence “It’s just you’re very pretty, who wouldn’t want to kiss you?”

You didn’t know what to say to that, you start blushing too while opening and closing your mouth a couple of times, looking like a damn fish.

You settle for a quiet ‘thank you’ with a smile that he shyly returns, neither of you noticing the glances passed by everyone else.

The whole team is convinced that there’s something between you and Bucky, but both of you always deny it and don’t seem to read too much into each other’s actions, always dismissing the glances and lingering touches as friendly affection even though you’re not really that close.

But really what else could it be?

The team lets the moment end and the game goes on, everyone keeps drinking and having fun until it gets really late and you all decide to call it a night.

Bucky goes to his bedroom and gets ready for sleep but he can’t seem to focus on anything else but you.

He really doesn’t understand how can anybody see your pretty self when you’ve just woken up, no makeup and your eyes full of sleep and not want to kiss you, let alone when you are all dolled up in a pretty golden dresses like you do every New Year’s. 

Every year it gets harder for him not to just grab you and kiss you, hell every day is pretty much torture to see you around the Compound and not get to be with you the way he wants to.

But he has to keep his hands to himself because there’s no way you could actually like him like that. 

He’s even tried to drop hints here and there like giving you the teddy bear for Valentine’s Day but, except for the cute shade of pink that your face turned, you still didn’t seem all that interested.

Still, that didn’t stop him from thinking what it would be like if you did like him and fantasize about being your first New Year’s kiss and maybe even your last first kiss.

At the same time you were in your own room getting ready for bed while your own thoughts kept going back to the moment you shared with Bucky in the living room. 

You didn’t know if you were more embarrassed because you actually told the team you’ve never had a kiss on New Year’s Eve or happy because Bucky called you pretty.

If it was anyone else you wouldn’t even think twice about it, but coming from him it just felt like you were being complimented for the first time ever. 

Everytime you thought about it you felt all warm and fuzzy inside, and at this point the moment was pretty much on loop in your mind.

The more you think about it the more you feel your face heat up, sleep not coming easily as you slip into Bucky filled dreams.

The next day everybody’s hanging out in the living room, most of them nursing a hangover from last night. You get ready for a last minute shopping trip to try and find a new dress for New Year’s Eve.

When you get to the living room you see Steve grinning at a disgruntled Tony, Wanda, Sam and Natasha who are obviously very hangover and nowhere near as amused as the blonde supersoldier. 

Bucky’s attention is on you as soon as you're in his field of vision and no one fails to notice it, except you of course, your own attention on Wanda and Natasha sprawled on the couch.

“Well, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to come shopping with me,” you start watching from one to the other, as amused as Steve at everyone’s inability to contain themselves when drinking. “but I don’t think that’s happening.” 

“Bite me, YLN.” Is all Nat says.

Wanda, on the other hand, is a little gentler. “I can come with you, if you want.” she says sweetly.

“That’s okay, Wands.” you smile at her “just rest and drink lots of water.”

You turn around, saying bye to everyone and making your way out. As soon as the doors of the elevator close, everyone turns to Bucky that's not even pretending not to be staring anymore.

Not that anyone could ignore the longing look on Bucky’s face as he watches you walk away.

“Buck,” Steve starts talking, glancing at everyone before setting his gaze back on his best friend. “we need to talk.”

“Okay…” he slowly drags out, unsure if he even wants Steve to keep going.

“Well, we’ve been noticing some things lately…” He’s unsure of how to say this. “Between you and Y/N.”

Bucky’s cheeks start to turn a slight shade of pink, but he’s still not sure where Steve’s going with this so he says nothing.

“So we thought” he gestures around at everybody. “that maybe we should-”

“We know you like her, and we want to help you get with her.” Tony interrupts Steve, quickly getting to the point.

At Steve’s glare, Tony merely raises his hands in surrender saying, “Listen, Capsicle, I’m way too hungover to take the panoramic route. Let’s just get this over with.”

“Yeah, Stark’s right.” Sam says, turning Bucky whose face is fully red now. “You have a weak ass game, man. Let us help you.”

They all look at the brunette supersoldier while waiting for his answer. He chews on his lip while looking at the expectant faces of his friends, before letting out a deep sigh.

“How would you even help me?” He says quietly, neither accepting nor denying their help just yet.

“Well, we know Y/N,” Wanda says.

“Yeah, we can tell you what turns her on.” Natasha smirked, before Wanda flicks her ear making her let out an ‘ow’ with a slight pout.

“What she means is,” she glares at Natasha “we can tell you what she likes, you know. Maybe help you get closer to her.”

Bucky shakes his head lightly “This is not a good idea. And it doesn’t even matter if she doesn’t like me.”

Wanda and Natasha seem to have a silent conversation, ending with Natasha raising her eyebrow at Wanda and Wanda just sighing with a soft ‘fine’.

“She does like you.” Wanda turns back to Bucky.

“She’s just convinced that you don’t like her like that.” Natasha says with a roll of her eyes.

Bucky still wasn’t completely convinced, but he agreed nonetheless. Maybe it was the glimmer of hope the girls gave him, but if there was even the slightest chance you could actually like him, he owed it to himself to try. 

So he let the team make a plan to get you guys together, hoping to god he wouldn’t come to regret it.

You come home a few hours later, super excited to have found the perfect dress for the party the next night.

Bucky thought you were just so cute, all smiles and giggles.

Wanda and Nat talked you into having the last girls night of the year, although it didn’t really take much convincing.

And so the plan begins.

You’re relaxing on your bed, Wanda lying next to you, your head on her lap, and Nat sprawled on the love seat near the window close to your bed.

You’re wearing bathrobes, sheet masks on your faces as you watch a cheesy romcom that you’re so embarrassingly into you don’t even notice the girls exchange a look and nod at each other.

Wanda clears her throat and then begins talking, as casually as she can. “So, how come you never told us you never had a New Year’s kiss?”

They had to approach the subject somehow, right?

“I don’t know,” you say absentmindedly and then shrug, your attention still on the Tv. “didn’t think it was important.” 

“Sure it isn’t.” Nat said, and her tone took your attention away from the movie for the first time since it started.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Tasha?” she simply shrugs, an innocent look in the face.

“It doesn’t mean anything” she says, her attention seemingly on the movie “I mean, if it doesn’t bother you, it doesn’t bother me.”

“Why would it bother me?” you frown, you don't understand what's so weird about this.

“Well, some people might find it a little…” Wanda trails off.

“Sad?” Natasha ends for her.

“It’s not like I’ve never kissed anyone.” you're starting to get a little defensive.

“We know that, sweetie.” Wanda coos, stroking your hair while you look up at her.

“We really didn’t mean anything by it.” Natasha ends, giving you an apologetic look.

“Yeah, whatever.” is all you say, and you turn your eyes back to the tv, your attention nowhere near it.

Natasha and Wanda can basically hear the gears turn in your head and give each other one last glance. 

Part one of the plan is complete.

The next day goes through like usual, the team spending basically the whole morning together.

It’s a tradition, having the last breakfast of the year together, watching the last movie, having the last lunch and so on. Doing all the lasts together.

It’s silly, but it’s a tradition you've all come to be very fond of. 

The afternoon comes and you and the girls spend it getting ready for the party, last night’s conversation almost forgotten.

Almost.

As you got to the party the music was deafening before you even stepped out of the elevator and, once you did, you were immediately immersed in a sea of perfume and cologne and, like every other Stark party extravaganza, you didn’t know about 98% of the people there. 

You quickly find the team, as outgoing as most of them are, you usually spend most of the night together because it’s the last night of the year, last party and, again, it's your tradition.

You talk, you joke, you laugh but the more you drink the more you keep thinking about your conversation with the girls last night.

Was it really that sad that you’ve never started a new year with a kiss?

Midnight came sooner than you would’ve liked and your teammates decide to ask you a sobering question.

“So, who are you kissing?” Tony asks very casually.

You turn around confused, the team’s eyes all on you. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, nobody told you?” Sam says, looking around him “We’re all kissing someone tonight.”

“I- You- What?” you glance towards Bucky so quickly he almost thought he imagined it.

“Well, Romanoff is kissing Rogers, I’m obviously kissing Pepper and Wanda is kissing Wilson.” Tony said, before specifying while pointing at the last two “As friends, obviously.”

“So, you’re all kissing someone?” You look at everyone except the one person you actually want to look at.

Something inside of you just believes that he would nod too and a beautiful woman that you could never compare to would appear at his side.

“Well,” Steve starts. “not all of us…”

He trails off and, following his gaze, you land on the very pair of blue eyes you were trying to avoid.

Suddenly everyone else scatters and it was just you and Bucky. You don't know what to say, but you feel like you can't look away from him now.

What the hell is happening to you?

You’re talking before you can even stop yourself “You know, we could also kiss. As friends.” you add, realizing what you just said, your eyes wide with your own surprise.

He’s about to say something, but you don’t give him a chance to get a sound out before you’re backtracking so fast you might actually fall out the window.

“You don’t have to. Obviously. It’s not like I’d make you.” you chuckled awkwardly, but you can’t stop yourself from rambling “Unless you wanted to. But why would you want to? It’s not like you’re missing anything. I’m not anything special.”

You can hear the countdown starting, but it sounds distant to your ears as your heart pounds faster. “I mean, I’m sure you’re a good kisser. Why wouldn’t you be? Not that you’re like a lady’s man.”

Bucky glances around him, the team giving him encouraging looks as they near zero and you just keep going “But like you were, you know. Not that it’s a bad thi-”

You're thankfully interrupted abruptly by Bucky’s lips on yours just as everyone yells ‘Happy New Year’ and gold and black confetti starts falling down on you.

You can't even begin to comprehend what's happening but your body does, kissing him back almost immediately.

It feels like forever and also too soon when he pulls away, you can't even hearing the chaos around you anymore.

All that exists is you and Bucky and his eyes and his arms around your waist and yours around his neck and his lips that you wanted to kiss again and kiss forever and never stop.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that” he says after a few seconds. Or maybe days. Weeks? Hours? It doesn’t matter.

All that matters is the bright smile he gives you when you say “Me too.”

He kisses you again, but this time the spell is broken by the team’s whistles and cheers. 

When you pull away you’re both blushing a little, you glance around you and see all the smug faces of the idiots you love to death, Bucky’s attention never leaving you.

“And by the way,” Bucky says, gaining your attention once more. “you have more qualities than you think,” he then pointed at your chest “You have this.”

You looked down to where he was pointing before saying “I do have great tits, yes.”

When you looked back at him he was blushing even harder and looked like he was having a hard time maintaining eye contact, while you were more relaxed now that the kiss took away all the awkwardness, but trying hard not to laugh. 

“... I meant heart” he said after a few moments of silence.

“Either or.” you answered, shrugging and when you heard the snickers of the team around you, you couldn’t help but join them, followed by a still blushing Bucky.

Yep, this year is definitely gonna be an interesting one.

[bitterie-sweetie]

Fake it til you make it

Pairing: Jeonghan x reader Genre: fluff, fake dating WC: 6.5k Warnings: alcohol A/N: yes it's about vday buuut it's actually for @syuperseventeen's bdayyy!!! surprise surprise! happy birthday nat, i hope this year is even better and filled with many things to look forward to <3

Your Valentine’s date with Jeonghan is coming up and yet the only thing on your mind is how to break up with him. Of course breaking up with someone is difficult, but you’d argue that what’s more difficult is breaking up with someone you never even dated.

Jeonghan is a prankster. 

Growing up, you’d often be on the receiving end of his pranks at school. Third grade “initiation” had you drenched in water after he told you to pin a cup against the wall with a straw, and in ninth grade you had tears streaming down your face after eating an entire scoop of wasabi—not the matcha ice cream he said it was. Then there was the time he did something to make your first crush hate you, which, in hindsight, was a good thing because the guy turned out to be a total asshole. 

It wasn’t Jeonghan’s fault entirely when you were too willing to fall for his pranks because being the target of a prank meant having his attention, and that’s something that you wanted. Jeonghan had a way of making everyone feel special, and his attention was a limelight that you never wanted to step out of. 

Honestly, you might’ve kept up with it if he kept going. But then that fateful day came and it was like you were suddenly on his side, working with him instead of being the victim to his antics, and you’d say that that’s what has kept the two of you together after all these years. 

Well, at least until now.

“Hey,” you greet in a rush, looking around the table at everyone and seeing that you’re truly the last one to arrive. Usually, you’d give that place to Lee Chan; he’s the most popular of your friend group and almost always has a prior appointment to your meetups. “Sorry I’m late. My train was delayed and—oh, did you already order for me?” 

Jeonghan slides a sealed bubble tea across the table and sets it in front of your seat—the one empty chair right beside him, no less. When you glance at him questioningly he shrugs and tilts his head towards the crowd at the front. “The line was too long so I ordered yours with mine. Hope you’re feeling like your usual today.” 

Indeed, the sticker on the cup shows that it’s your go-to order. “Aw, that’s so sweet of you. Thanks, babe.” 

Today’s meet up with your friend group is the first of the year and it’s also the first time you’re seeing everyone since Chan’s wedding… including Jeonghan. You would’ve spent Christmas and New Year’s with him had he not cancelled on you, and now that bit of distance has manifested into a larger uncertainty for you over the past while. Even now, the ‘babe’ seemed to come out awkwardly, sticking to your throat.

“Wow, you guys are actually disgusting. I hope you know that.” Seungkwan makes a face at you, and beside him, Soonyoung nods a few times in agreement. 

You plaster on a smile. “It’s okay to just say you’re jealous.” 

The only response you get is an eye-roll from Soonyoung, and then everyone moves on, thankfully. Mingyu asks you what you’ve been up to so you talk about your recent promotion at work and some new habits you’ve started in the new year, and when you sense that the conversation is starting to approach the territory of your future with Jeonghan, you gently steer it towards Chan. After all, he’s the one that got married just a few months ago, and you know he would never miss the chance to talk about his amazing honeymoon and how great this new chapter of his life is going.

There is truly nothing like adult friendships and its quarterly updates. 

Once there’s a bit of a lull in the conversation, Jeonghan turns to you. “What are you doing this week?” 

“Oh, this week?” Your heart speeds up tenfold at the uncertainty of what might come next. “Hmm well, it’s Valentine’s Day.” 

“Yeah, exactly.” He nods and much to your relief, there’s a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. “So I’ll see you for our date then?” 

“Of course, babe.” 

“Can’t you guys do this somewhere else?” Soonyoung says as he stares daggers in your direction. You totally understand and sympathize with that though; today you’re turning up the sweetness more than usual to compensate for the distance you actually feel, unfortunately at the expense of your friends.

Jeonghan completely ignores Soonyoung’s complaint and doesn’t even look his way. “That’s good,” he says, leaning back in his seat and almost looking relieved at your answer. “I was afraid my darling might not have time for me anymore.”

“What? No way. Did you have anything in mind for our date?” 

“Hmm, yes but it’s a surprise. I’ll text you the details later.” 

“Well, uh, I have to run,” Chan says, slowly getting up from his seat. The rest of you hardly bat an eye, having gotten too used to his busy schedule. “It was nice seeing everyone. You guys should come over for my housewarming once everything is set up.” 

Mingyu stands up too. “Oh, I actually have to go too; got a dinner with Wonwoo later.” 

…On second thought, perhaps you overcompensated a bit too much with the cringe. Soonyoung and Seungkwan leave soon after getting a call from their roommate, Seokmin, and then it’s just you and Jeonghan at the table. Still seated side by side, your arm occasionally brushing against his. 

“How have you really been?” he asks in a low voice. 

“Decent, I guess, despite the winter blues and all. It’s pretty much what I said earlier.” You shrug when he remains silent. “Why do you ask? Do I look depressed or something?”   

“No,” he shakes his head with a laugh, “not depressed, exactly, but I wanted to see if you’re as sad as I am about not seeing each other in so long.” Then he leans in a bit closer, as if to whisper a secret. “I missed you, darling.”

It’s times like this when you feel like he’s toeing the line. There’s a small smile lingering on his lips and a softer look in his eyes, not at all like the overdone sweetness to the point of sarcasm from before, but you can never tell if he really means what he says or if this is just part of the act. 

Regardless, it makes your face feel hot and it makes you unable to look directly at him. 

“Oh… yeah,” you say, trying to make a quick recovery. “It’s too bad we missed out on the holidays but at least we get Valentine’s Day.” 

“Yup, that’s exactly why I have something special in mind for that day. I want to make it up to you, darling.” 

You give him a smile and then go to take a sip of your drink, and that’s pretty much the end of the conversation. Despite saying he misses you, it’s interesting how he doesn’t explain why he bailed on the holidays in the first place, and you don’t know whether you should ask about it at this point.

Or if you should even be curious about such a thing. 

Jeonghan pulls you out of your thoughts with a brush of his hand on yours. “It’s getting dark. Let’s head out?” 

You agree and then let him hold your hand, lace his fingers with yours, and then lead you out of the shop. He doesn’t let go until you cross the parking lot and get to his car. It’s strange, you think. You can’t seem to recall the last time the two of you held hands so naturally like this especially when there’s no one else around. 

In fact, when the two of you are alone, the sickening sweetness is always toned down but not completely dropped. Now, Jeonghan’s smiles are softer around the edges like they’re less exaggerated, less of a performance, and when he calls you darling, his voice is quieter and isn’t at all coated in the sticky honey you’re used to. When he hugs you goodbye at your door, it’s a loose hug and almost has a degree of uncertainty. 

Jeonghan steps back but lingers just for a second. “I’ll see you in a few days for our date, darling.”

“Of course,” you put on a smile, “I can’t wait, babe.” 

He waits until you get into your building before giving a little wave and then heading on his way. 

After you close the door behind you and collapse onto your bed, you heave a sigh and finally let the smile slip from your lips. So there would be a Valentine’s date this year after all; the anticipation makes your heart speed up the slightest but at the same time makes you all the more anxious. You thought that he really would end things today, and if not, that you should be the one to do so. But seeing him after so long, feeling the way the warmth of his touch lingers on your skin, basking in the brightness of his smiles, you simply couldn’t utter those words. 

Perhaps Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be the right time to do it either, or maybe your date won’t end up happening for whatever reason. You know that this is something you have to do, but the question is how exactly would you go about doing it? Because there is one major problem. 

You’re not dating Jeonghan at all. 

One moment in high school is what started this whole thing.

It was eleventh grade drama class—which Jeonghan thought would be fun to take as an elective—that resulted in the two of you being cast in the school play. Although neither of you landed a role that was remotely close to important, Jeonghan decided to have fun with it and improvise during your one minute of screen time and that somehow turned your insignificant cameos into a beautiful romance that had the audience rooting for you. 

And that very moment somehow managed to embed itself so deeply in your relationship with Jeonghan that it became a long running joke to this day. 

Today you’re sitting across from Soonyoung and Seungkwan again, with Mingyu beside you this time. Almost an exact replica of last week’s meetup, but Chan already has plans and Jeonghan is very obviously missing—something Soonyoung points out immediately.

“Wow, no Jeonghan today?” he says loudly even before the hostess is out of earshot. The people at the two tables nearby glance in your direction and you start to regret coming here at all. “We really won this one. Y/N, we should do this more often.” 

You definitely should not. “Um, yeah. Totally.” 

Last week’s meeting with your friends is what gave you the idea to consult with them about your situation. You first suggested the idea to Mingyu, and then used the prospect of free food to get Soonyoung and Seungkwan to come out, and naturally, Chan is busy so it ends up being the four of you at brunch. Which is better on your wallet, you think. You get the feeling that this quarterly meetup can totally happen more often if you were to make this offer every time. 

As for what you’re about to ask… well, truthfully, you still don’t know if you should even do it. You’ve gone so many years without saying a word that it’d simply be odd to ask now, plus you would run the risk of making everything weird. But if you don’t do it, you would only end up making it weird anyway because how much longer can you go on pretending?

Besides, it’s not only you and Jeonghan who are prolonging this inside joke for way longer than it should’ve lasted. All of your friends should be in on it if they treat the two of you like a couple too. 

The waiter comes by to take your orders, and you try not to wince at the entire list that comes out of Soonyoung and Seungkwan’s mouths. Mingyu gets the least, seemingly knowing that something is up if the worried glances he throws your way is anything to go by. 

Once the waiter leaves, that’s when the small talk stops and all eyes turn to you.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Soonyoung asks with a goofy grin. “Since Jeonghan’s not here, does that mean you need help with Valentine’s Day plans or something?” 

Beside him, Seungkwan has the complete opposite expression as he eyes you warily between sips of his americano.

You take a huge swig of water like it’s liquid courage, and then go for it. “This is going to sound weird…” you start, trying not to notice the way Seungkwan tenses up as if bracing for your words, “but I wanted to ask you guys what my relationship with Jeonghan is.” 

Silence. Complete, dead silence. 

Soonyoung freezes like he’s in a photograph while Seungkwan’s hand holding his americano hangs in mid air as a drop of the drink dribbles down the side of his lip. 

“Sorry, what?” It’s Soonyoung who recovers first. “I think I heard that wrong.” 

You shake your head. “Just tell me.” 

“You’re asking us what your relationship with your own boyfriend is?” 

“Boyfriend—exactly!” You have to hold back all the thoughts you have on the topic. “Yeah, that’s what I mean. So you think he’s my boyfriend? That we’re dating?” 

Soonyoung frowns but it’s Seungkwan who answers, exasperated. “Y/N, what are you trying to say here? Are you trying to say you guys broke up? Or do you think we don’t know you well enough and this is a test? Can you say whatever it is directly—” 

“Jeonghan and I aren’t together.”

There, you said it. Your biggest secret is out.

It should make you relieved to finally let out the secret you’ve been harbouring for years or it should at least alleviate some of the weight on your chest, but it doesn’t. The silence in the wake of your confession only closes in on you and makes it all the more suffocating.

“Any—anymore?”

“No. We were never together.”

The bit of silence from earlier repeats itself. Maybe you should become a speaker or presenter with your ability to draw such reactions from a crowd.

Seungkwan noisily sets down his drink and then leans forward with a frown. He’s still in denial, that much is obvious, and he narrows his eyes as he asks, “Is this a joke? A hidden camera? Are you trying to prank us like Jeonghan—”

“No, I’m completely serious. It’s really not what it seems, and this is why I’m asking you guys what you see us as because at this point I don’t even know the answer myself.” 

With a deep breath, you tell them the truth about this entire thing.

You tell them about the high school play and your impromptu acting, and how that led for the two of you to become the famous couple at school afterwards. Sure, it might’ve been a good thing because that meant your acting was believable. But to two people who were interested in just about anything except love at that age, it was annoying and gross. 

After the show when the shippers wouldn’t stop, the two of you decided to do what you do best—pull a prank. You spent that Valentine’s Day together as a joke and acted extra disgusting to mock couples while making fun of how stupid people were to believe whatever you showed them. In twelfth grade, the two of you did the same for Valentine’s Day and then even went to prom together as a joke. 

In recent years, however, the annual joke of a Valentine’s Day date has turned into his Christmas and your Lunar New Year, his cousin’s graduation, your coworker’s housewarming, and Lee Chan’s wedding. It’s made you on a texting basis with his sister and it’s made him familiar with all your favourite food spots and go-to orders. It’s turned him into someone who’s simultaneously as distant as an acquaintance yet closer than a best friend. 

And so, here you are, living an entire lie because you and Jeonghan had the whole world fooled.

“That’s insane,” Soonyoung says when you finally finish the story, unable to look your way and instead, stares into his drink with how mind blown he is.

Seungkwan, on the other hand, remains a bit skeptical. “Okay, but then what was with all that PDA?All the kissing? Is this some sort of situationship?” 

“Oh, um.” Immediately you can feel your cheeks heating up. You didn’t think this far at all but now it seems like the entire truth will have to come out. “All of it was fake. We’ve… never actually kissed.” 

That drama class has taught you more than you needed to know about manipulating angles and the audience’s perception, and Jeonghan is very good at it. Your fake kisses were often just a trick of the angle or occasionally using the thumb trick, and having seen the evidence captured in photos over the years, you know how convincing it can look.

Now, it’s embarrassing to admit for reasons you never would’ve imagined. Admitting to pulling a childish prank like this is one thing, but the realization that you and Jeonghan have faked it for so long without ever once making it real has you feeling almost dejected.

“I always knew Jeonghan was crazy but I didn’t know he’d be *this* crazy.” Soonyoung now has his head in his hands and is staring off into space. “This is the most insane story I’ve ever heard. I’m not sure if I should be happy for you or sad.” 

You give a wry smile. “Yeah, well, I get why you would think we were together though. You met us in college and wouldn’t have known about what happened in the past so I guess there would never be a reason to question it.” 

Beside you, Mingyu clears his throat and you turn to look at him. He’s been so quiet throughout your story that you were too busy focusing on the reactions of the other two, but looking at him now, his reaction is entirely different. Mingyu isn’t as surprised as he is concerned. “Actually, Y/N, a few years ago…” he says hesitantly, “there was a time when I asked him if you were actually dating.” 

“You did? What did he say?”

“He didn’t deny it.”

“Well, we all know how he loves to be ambiguous and leave things a mystery.”

Mingyu shakes his head. “No—see, that’s what I thought too, but it was different that time. At first he didn’t deny it, but when I pushed a bit more, he said that you’re dating. In actual words and with the most serious look I’ve ever seen on his face.” 

This is news to you. You always assumed that they were all in on the joke and would’ve never guessed that anyone actually asked Jeonghan, but the fact that he answered that way is all the more baffling. 

“I don’t get it. Why would he tell you that?” 

“Yeah, so,” Soonyoung says, “from then on we all thought that was fully confirmed, and he never said or implied otherwise.” 

“Right…”

Mingyu nudges you gently. “Y/N, are you telling us about this now because you’re planning on stopping the act? Has it been bothering you? Or did something happen?” 

“Is that why you wanted to tell us today?” Soonyoung lets out a dramatic gasp and leans all the back in his chair, hands over his mouth. “Don’t tell me—are you going to stop the act because you have a crush on someone?”

“What? No, definitely not. It’s not that, it’s—” 

Here’s the next part of your big secret being revealed, something you weren’t entirely ready for but you tell yourself that this needs to happen. 

It’s because of your feelings for Jeonghan. Your very real, very genuine feelings that have nothing to do with this prank.

Truthfully, you can’t pinpoint when you started feeling this way, much like you’re not sure how this joke was able to stick around for so long. It could be the most recent development—when your friend tried to convince you to hop on a dating app, all you could think about was how wrong it felt because you already had Jeonghan. Or maybe it was the Valentine’s Day just before college graduation when he leaned in so closely you thought he was going to kiss you, for real this time, and then only realizing much later that you were disappointed that it wasn’t real. 

Or perhaps it started way back, to the time he asked you to prom—he said he didn’t have a date only for you to later find out he’d already rejected two promposals from other people. All for your fake relationship, supposedly.

And now, for you, what has started as a harmless prank has turned into something much more than that over the years. 

Everyone looks like they're at a loss for words after that part, and even Soonyoung has lost his enthusiasm after hearing it. “Shit, that’s…” he starts. “Okay, yeah, I’m definitely sad for you.” 

Seungkwan and Mingyu have similar sentiments but you wave them off, eager to lighten the mood again after such heavy topics. The food on the table has been long finished and you’re beginning to feel like you’re overstaying your welcome when there’s a crowd waiting at the front of the restaurant. “It’s fine, it’s whatever. I just wanted to get this off my chest today so that I can figure things out before I see him in a few days.” 

A while later, you finish paying and then all head out together. 

The conversation continues to replay itself in your head, and you realize there is one thing you’re curious about. You turn to Mingyu. “By the way—Mingyu, why *did* you ask Jeonghan if we were actually dating?”

Mingyu stops mid-stride and freezes like a deer in headlights, clearly not expecting your question at all. “I—um, I was asking for a friend.” 

“A friend?”

“Yeah, Chan.” He nods a few times in a row. “I thought Chan had a crush on you and I was trying to help him out.”

Strange, seeing as you’ve probably interacted with Chan the least among your friend group. He’s simply too booked and busy to hang out with you, and has been all throughout your college years together. 

Oh, and he’s married.

“Like, before he met his wife?” you ask.

Soonyoung starts to cough furiously from where he is a few steps ahead while Mingyu’s cheeks redden the slightest bit. 

You vaguely remember the first time the two of you did this, and how it wasn’t anything like how it’s going now. 

Tonight is the night you’re supposed to go on your date with Jeonghan, and you’ve been buzzing with nerves since the night before. You have no idea what to expect for tonight since all he told you about it was to show up at his apartment, and that in itself was slightly concerning as you’ve never been to his home before nor has he been so secretive about any plans. Usually the two of you would be going to a casual place or would have the schedule shared ahead of time if it was a more formal event that needed preparation. 

Jeonghan buzzes you in when you arrive and before you can say you’ll wait for him in the lobby, he tells you to go up to his unit. Again, a bit strange. You do as he asks though, and then even go to knock on the door when there’s no sign of him coming out.

When he opens the door and steps aside, that’s when everything clicks—you’re not here so that he can get his car and take you to your date location. This *is* the date location.

Beyond the doorway, you can see that his apartment is completely decorated. Rose petals line the sides of the hall and lead to the dining table, covered in a deep red tablecloth and perfectly set for your meal. Beside it, a large bouquet of roses rests at the center of the sideboard surrounded by a row of flickering candles which light up the space.

Even without knowing what his home normally looks like, it’s obvious that all this would’ve taken a lot of effort to set up.

“Jeonghan, why did you prepare all this?”

He gives you a dazzling smile. “Because my darling deserves the best, of course. I told you I was going to make it up to you for cancelling Christmas.” 

“Babe, that’s too sweet of you. You really didn’t have to.” You try to return his smile but it doesn’t come easy when this whole situation is overwhelming. Then you let him take your coat and then guide you to the dining table where everything is set up. 

Only when you’re seated do you realize that his response doesn’t answer your question at all. 

The scent of the roses fill the room and looking at them gives you a pang in your heart. This is what the two of you used to make fun of—these big, romantic gestures, and the couples that willingly eat them up. Now it’s as if the tables have turned and you don’t know what to think. 

If this were in public, in front of your friends or other people, you would’ve said that it was another funny gesture that Jeonghan put up for the sake of making them cringe. Because the two of you were the perfect joking, prankster couple, right? 

Now that it’s just you and him here, it confuses you as to why he’s going to such lengths for a joke when it’s something that no one else would see, when there’s no audience to watch his performance. 

You watch as Jeonghan busies himself in the kitchen, serving the food that he’s prepared and pouring the wine into glasses while glancing your way every once in a while. He looks pleased, you note, and he should be if he got his space to look this beautiful. But you can sense that there’s something else too, almost like a nervousness that sits on his shoulder every time he breezes past you and makes eye contact for the briefest second.

After everything is ready, he finally takes a seat across from you and the dinner begins.

Making small talk is easy at first; you comment on your surprise at this type of date, talk about how cold it’s been lately and how it sucks that your company is forcing you to go back into the office. You ask him how his holiday went and how his family has been, and mention how cute his sister’s new puppy is after seeing a post about it on her social media. 

You know you’re just delaying the inevitable. Somehow you get the feeling he knows it too, judging by the way his answers are shorter than usual and how your conversation feels so superficial. So this time after there’s a lull in the conversation, you decide to go for it.

"Jeonghan, um…"

"Hmm?" He looks at you and waits for you to continue, but you don't. Or rather, you can't. "Ah, you're going to comment on how good this is, right?" he says instead, as if supplying you with a way out.

You're all too eager to grab onto it. "Wow, you read my mind." An enthusiastic nod, a slight look of surprise. "It's amazing. Did you make all this yourself?"

Jeonghan shakes his head and then follows up with a sheepish smile. "Partly. The rest is store bought."

Another nod, and then it just ends there again. Seated in this spot with the soft lighting of flickering candles cast against the wall and the heat of Jeonghan's gaze on you, the feeling of discomfort only grows. It's hard to remember what the two of you were like before, during the days when everything seemed so silly–when each move was a clearly defined act between two actors and the world was your stage. And most importantly, when each smile he showed you didn't send your stomach into somersaults or your mind into a loop of second guessing. 

The air is so heavy and stifling that you grab your glass and down a large gulp of the wine. At least when you're drinking, you wouldn’t have to speak, whether that might be responding to him in a way that gives away all of your thoughts, or completely spilling them out yourself. Maybe the alcohol will also drown out some of your anxieties and–

"Hey, slow down." Jeonghan glances at you with worry. "We have all night."

You set the glass down, albeit a bit reluctantly. "Right, sorry. This wine is just so good."

Yet another lie, but what's one more at this point? The wine is much too sour and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. You would've much preferred a soda or bubble tea, and drinking something fancy like this during such a fancy occasion makes you feel like you're pretending to be someone you're not.

Which is exactly what you're doing, isn't it? You've been living a lie this entire time.

You briefly wonder if Jeonghan feels the same way—the two of you have never properly spent time alone in complete privacy, and to have your first time be in such a formal atmosphere must feel strange. But if he's uncomfortable, he makes no sign of showing it. Or maybe he's always been the better actor of the two of you.

“You know, since you mentioned seasonal depression, I was thinking that for Christmas this year we should go somewhere. Somewhere warm and sunny to get away from the cold.”

“Oh, this year?” you repeat stupidly when you can’t quite believe what you’re hearing. Jeonghan wants to continue this thing? And here you were, thinking that he was about to end it at any moment for the past few months. “Um, yeah. That would be nice.” 

“Or it could be a fall trip. Your parents have been wanting to go see the leaves change colour, right?” 

There’s no hint of sarcasm on his face and no playful twinkle in his eye, and even though no one can read him very well, you know enough to tell that he’s being serious. You also know that what he’s saying makes no sense at all.

“Right, yeah. They’ve been wanting to do that.” 

“Y/N, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you reply automatically, and then reach for another long gulp of your drink. “Yup, all good.”

Jeonghan frowns, a tiny crease appearing between his brows. “Are you sure? If you want to talk about it, I’m here to listen.” 

It’s strange, the way he looks at you. Jeonghan, who dances around questions and deflects easily with humour and only shows people what he wants them to see, now has worry filling his eyes as he waits for you to continue. As if he *knows*.

You doubt Soonyoung and Seungkwan would have spilled your secret so easily, but there’s a great possibility that the two of them would be unable to act normal around him after what they learned, and unintentionally hint at the truth. Then there’s the other possibility that Jeonghan knew way before any of this. Because maybe he—

No, you don’t want to think about that.

“It’s just that,” you say, having to force yourself to pause and slow down your thoughts before something terrible comes spewing out. A slow inhale, a shaky exhale. “Why are we here, Jeonghan?”

His frown deepens, but now it’s turned into confusion. “What do you mean?”

“What are we doing? This date has been nice, but I’m just very confused over why you put so much effort into this when there’s no one else around to see it. Weren’t we doing all of this as a joke? As a prank? Pretending to be a couple so that we can fool the world since that’s exactly what they wanted to see, but joke’s on them because we’re not?” 

Jeonghan watches you silently with an unreadable look on his face. “Is that how you feel?”

“’Well, yes, because isn’t that the truth? And now, we’ve been doing so much together that it doesn’t feel like a joke anymore. How can it be when your mom is offering to give me homemade side dishes? Or—or when Chan’s wife was there, smiling at us on her wedding day like she wished we’d be just as happy as they are?” You pause to look at him and then proceed to look away. “How long are we going to continue lying to the world? Because I can’t stand the guilt.”

The last part of that may be true, but it’s not the full truth. 

“Yeah, you’re right. We don’t have to keep doing this.”

“W—what?” You stare at him, dumbfounded. 

Jeonghan sighs deeply and then meets your eyes, but then quickly looks away. “Yeah, we should’ve left this in high school. The joke has kind of gotten old, hasn’t it?” 

You have no idea what he means by any of that, but it feels like you’re better off not knowing. The tension in the air is thick, and even when you imagined your fake breakup hundreds of times in your head, this is not something you could have predicted. It’s as you’re on a precipice, and one wrong move will delete all those years, all that time you spent with him. 

And the worst part is that you don’t even want to break up.

“Jeonghan, look. I know all of this is supposed to be a joke, but why is it that it feels like you really do care?” One last deep breath before you make the jump. “And why is it that I *want* you to care?” 

That has him stunned for a second, so much that the expression is obvious on his face in a way that almost never happens. 

“Wait, what? I do care. No, I get that we started all this for fun back then, but that’s not how I feel about it now. Everything we’ve done is real—trust me, I wouldn’t have brought you to my family if that wasn’t the case. And I never thought I was lying to them. It’s exaggerated, yes, and much too dramatic, but I’m not a good enough actor where all that can be based on a complete lie.” 

You braced yourself for the final blow, only to be completely confused over his words. “What are you saying?” 

“Y/N, it’s always been real to me. All of it.” 

“But��but I thought you wanted to stop all this when you cancelled our plans for Christmas. Why did you do that?”

Jeonghan opens his mouth a little but then closes it again. “Do you remember last year at Chan’s wedding when you caught the bouquet?” 

You nod but don’t hide your confusion about where this is going.

“After you caught it, everyone was looking at you… and then at me. It was like they all expected us to be next, because well,” he shrugs, “everyone thought we were together. And that’s when I realized that this is more than simply feeling like it’s real. We were turning it into something real.”

“So you called off Christmas because you wanted to stop doing this? Because you hated how it was becoming real?” 

“No,” Jeonghan shakes his head. “The opposite. I was afraid of how much I liked that it felt real. That day at the wedding, I—I wanted to kiss you for real, Y/N. Not have to fake it.” 

“Oh…”

“If we did meet up for Christmas, I don’t know what might’ve happened. I thought it was safer to stay away for a bit and gather my thoughts.” He hesitates slightly and you can see the pained smile he has on. “But one day into the holidays and I was already regretting my decision.” 

You don’t know what to say to that. Your mind is hardly listening anymore when it keeps on repeating Jeonghan’s words like a broken record, screaming to you that it’s real, that all of it is real. That you’re not the only one who’s been feeling this way, and that you won’t need to stage a fake breakup for your fake relationship. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, breaking you out of your thoughts.

“I’m just—are you sure all this is real? Jeonghan, are you being serious?”

He breaks into a tender smile. “Don’t you remember? I already answered you back then, Y/N.”

“What do you mean?” 

“You asked me if I’d be your darling, even if thousands of miles may separate us, even if—” 

“—if the paths we walk may crumble,” you finish off. “Or something like that. I actually have no idea what we said back then.”

Those were the lines in the play that you did back in high school, the very lines that the two of you conjured out of thin air one day and the very moment that started this whole thing. 

“Yeah, that,” he says softly.

“Hmm, so, babe,” you put on your usual mockingly sweet tone, repeating the line that you said on stage many years ago, “are you going to kiss me?” 

Jeonghan holds back a smile like he can’t contain his happiness, and follows with his line without missing a beat. “If that’s what my darling wants.”

The smile only widens when he gets up from his seat and you go to meet him halfway, and it’s the last thing you see when he leans in closer and closer. Jeonghan gently slides his thumb between his lips and yours as he closes the distance, like how it was done the very first time, but this time you can feel it as he slowly moves it away. 

Then you’re kissing him, actually kissing him for real for the first time. His lips are soft and warm, and the bit of hesitance between you seems to completely melt away as you wrap your arms around him and he pulls you closer. You let yourself drown in his scent, the warmth of his touch, and the loud pounding of your heart now that you no longer have to be paying attention to the reactions of the people around you. Nothing else matters anymore, all that matters is what you have now.

You spend the rest of the night catching up, whether that’d be stories over the years of shared memories, or creating new memories to make up for the lost time. He tells you he loves you and that the trip suggestions were very much real, and the two of you laugh over how you’ve become the exact couple you once mocked. It’s easy to understand them now though, you think as Jeonghan gives you a sleepy smile as you’re cuddled up on the couch.

“Oh yeah, I wanted to ask something,” you say, and he looks at you in alarm at your abruptness. “Why did you tell Mingyu that we were together?”

Jeonghan stays silent for a bit, narrowing his eyes as if having difficulty recalling what you’re talking about. Then he finally answers. “Oh that?” He chuckles. “That was because I didn’t want him to think he had a chance with you.”

[yoonguurt]

Summary: Christmas this, Christmas that. The “Most wonderful time of the year” is not how Y/N would describe it. Sure, it used to be a magical time full of happiness and love, but she let that belief go years ago. Christmas is all about how much money you spend on someone and making yourself look good to outsiders. Snow is wet and everything is cold during this time of year, makes everything gross. Her best friend is tired of having The Grinch as a roommate, especially when he remembers what it was like when she loved Christmas. This year, he finally decides that it’s time to bring the magic back into her life. Maybe that magic will bring a little love with it.

Pairing: Bang Chan x fem!reader

Word Count:9,603

Genre/themes/au: fluff, smut, a tiny bit of angst; friends to lovers, roommates to lovers; it's a Christmas fic, yall.

Warnings: parental abandonment, masturbation(f), unprotected sex(NO! BAD!), fingering, oral (f rec), daddy kink (it just kind of happened ok), allusion to a hand kink but I didn't really act on it. I think that's it, but let me know if i missed something. My work is 18+ minors are not tolerated here. Be gone, child.

Walking through the front door, the sound of Christmas music and the blinking of festive lights hits your senses immediately. ‘God dammit, Chris. It's literally the 1st.’ You love having your best friend as a roommate, you really do, but his holiday spirit is not something you enjoy at this moment. 

When he goes all out for New Year's? All good. Valentine's Day? Fuck yeah, let's it chocolate. Halloween? Yes bitch, let's get spooky. But Christmas? It's a no from you. That's where you draw the line. 

His voice floats through your ears as he sings along to whatever annoying song is on. ‘At least it's not All I Want For Christmas is You.’ The beautiful tone of his soft singing almost brings you out of your grumpy mood. Almost. You love his voice, it does things to you. It makes you happy and relaxed. It also turns you on, but he doesn't need to know that. If it weren't for the fact that he's so into this damn holiday, everything would be perfect. 

“You're letting the heat out. And stop looking so mad, you knew this was coming.” His words draw you from your thoughts and you squint your eyes at him in a glare. By the bright smile on his face, he obviously doesn't care about your death stare. You toss your backpack aside, kicking your shoes off with a sigh. It’s been a long day of classes and assignments and you really just want to sit on the couch and watch true crime.

Chris has a pep in his step as he walks to the couch, throwing himself down on the cushions and opening his arms wide. He knows what you want, of course he knows. He tilts his head toward the spot beside him, a soft smile replacing the beaming one he had when you walked in. Your feet shuffle across the carpet as you make your way to him, promptly plopping down next to him and letting him wrap his arms around you.

Chris is your person. He may not have been in your life from the start, but the 2 years he has been has solidified his place for years to come. He's your best friend, sometimes you think he may even be your soulmate, but you don't have the courage to tell him just how deep in you are for him.

You met Chris in freshman year of college, having shared the first class of the semester together. You had taken the seat next to you, immediately giving you the beautiful smile he seems to almost always have. Now, you are in no way a shy person, not even close, but being the focus of his wide smile never fails to bring a blush to your cheeks. It's been like that since day one, you're just better at hiding it now. 

One class turned into three that semester and the two of you clicked immediately. He's a bit more outgoing than you are, but not by a whole lot. He just has an aura of comfort and it reeled you in and you haven't been able to get rid of him sense, not that you want to, anyway. You're down bad. 

At the beginning of sophomore year, the two of you opted for getting an apartment together rather than staying in the dorms. It just made more sense that way. You got to live off campus with your best friend, and you had someone to split the rent with. 

The sound of a movie beginning to play on the tv jolted you from your thoughts. Eyes flicking up to the screen, a groan immediately left your throat without much thought. A hand rubbing up and down your back reminded you of the comforting presence beside you. “A Christmas movie? Really, Chris?” You can feel his mood shift and you’re filled with a small amount of guilt. You know he loves Christmas, he loves holidays in general, but Christmas always puts him in a particular cheery mood. But he also knows how much you detest the holiday. But then again, he has always been willing to do things he hates just because it’s something you want to do. 

The weight of his arm disappears from your body and your head snaps up to face him. ‘Great. I’ve finally pushed him into anger.’ You know that he isn’t angry with you, but the little voice in your head can’t help but override your rationality. The two of you sit in silence for a while, both of you focusing on the images flickering across the tv screen. You’re not as much focusing on the movie as just having a place for your eyes to land. You can tell that Chris is in thought, he’s unusually quiet. There is a tension in the air, thick with guilt and worry. 

By the time the movie is, what you assume, half way through, Chris reaches forward to press the pause button on the remote. The scene stops in the middle of a conversation and the looks on the characters’ faces brings a small snort from your nose. It’s always been a game between the two of you. Someone pauses a movie or show randomly, trying to find the best funny face someone on screen is making. You turn to the man beside you, ready to talk about the game, only to see how serious his face is. 

“I’m not going to ask why you hate Christmas so much, I already know that.” The mention of the reason for your Grinch-like attitude makes you wince, though you try to hide it. That obviously doesn’t work because a warm hand finds its way back around your shoulders, giving a squeeze of reassurance. “But I am going to ask that you do me a favor.” Your heart races at his words. You give him a nod, letting him know that you’re listening. “Give me until Christmas Eve to change your opinion.”

That is not what you were expecting. You thought he’d ask you to keep your holly jolly hating thoughts to yourself. You had no idea how he even thought he could change your mind. Hating Christmas had been a part of you since before you met Chris. It wasn’t your whole personality, that would be awful, but it was well known amongst your friends that you and Christmas didn’t get along. Chris was one of the only people in your friend group that knew the exact reason. You love your friends and as much as you trust them, you don’t want to deal with the looks. You had worried about that when you told Chris, but he hadn’t looked at you like other people would have. Of course he hadn’t. He was Chris. He was perfect.

“What do you mean?” You mentally rolled your eyes at yourself, it felt like a dumb question. Your best friend’s gaze held no anger, and didn't make you feel stupid for asking. He just gave you a soft smile, his hand coming to push your hair behind your ear. “Give me 23 days to make Christmas a happy time for you again. Three weeks. We’ll do two small things a week, and one big thing on the weekend. Today is Friday, so the first big activity can be tomorrow. There are two more weekends between now and Christmas Eve. The last big thing will be on Christmas Eve. If your thoughts on the holiday aren’t changed by midnight on Christmas Day, I’ll tone down the holiday cheer next year. Deal?”

“Alright.” You can see that he senses the hesitancy in your voice, but he doesn't say anything. Just reaches his hand out towards you, waiting for you to take it in a handshake. ‘This is certainly going to be interesting.’ You have no idea what he could possibly have planned, but you're curious.

You slept in the next morning, which felt amazing. You honestly expected Chris to wake you up early for his big adventure, but you were damn glad he didn't. Taking your time in getting up, you finally crawl out of bed to brush your teeth before emerging from your room. Your first stop would be the kitchen, you need coffee. As soon as you hit the end of the hallway, a mug sat on the counter, still steaming. You couldn't help the smile that graced your lips at the sight. 

Chris had made a habit of setting your coffee out for you before he went to the gym. It was a small thing, but it always made your heart skip. Now that he wasn't home, you could let yourself stew in your feelings. You aren't sure when your feelings for him had changed, you just knew that they had.

Maybe it was last month when he had stayed up all night taking care of you when you had the flu. Maybe it was last year when your boyfriend had broken up with you and he had made a blanket fort in the living room and watched Disney movies with you. Perhaps it was a month after starting school and you had to miss a week of class, only to come back to a set of notes he had taken for you. You couldn't be certain.

You bumble around the apartment, looking for things to do. You had to admit, even though you hate Christmas and anything to do with it, you were excited to see what Chris had planned. You doubted he could actually change your mind, but it was better to not tell him that.

Thinking back to your life before Chris, your thoughts landed on the reason you hate this goddamn holiday. Your father. Waking up on Christmas morning only to find him nowhere in sight and your mother in shambles. You were sixteen. He had left a note explaining that he had found a new life, one that didn't include you or your mother. Prick. That had solidified your hatred. You struggled to pick up the pieces of your mother’s broken heart, and after a while you had succeeded, but there was still a void.

She had eventually remarried once you had gone off to school, and while she was happy with the way her life turned out, you were still angry. Still hurt. Still hated Christmas. You love your stepfather dearly, but the memory of that shitty Christmas morning still reigns supreme. 

The jingling of keys brought you out of your angry thoughts. The door opened and there was your best friend, the object of your unknown affections. He was still sweaty from his intense workout. ‘Fuck. He really is going to give me a heart attack one of these days.’ Your stomach was doing flips. He looked so good. Biting your lip, you admire him for a moment longer before calling out to him.

“Thanks for the coffee.” He turns to you, eyes wide, obviously startled. You suppress a giggle, knowing it would only make him pout at your amusement. “No need for thanks, pretty girl.” There goes your stomach again, your heart joining its waltz of emotion. Pet names aren't a new thing for him, it's something he's done for months now, but it still affects like it had the very first time. 

“So, what's the big activity you have planned?” You watch as he kicks off his shoes, making sure to place them neatly on the shoe rack you keep next to the door. He tsks at you as he makes his way to stand in front of you. “Nope. Not a chance. It's a surprise.” An immediate pout comes across your face, causing a loud laugh from the man in front of you. Your pout only deepens. Before you realize what is happening, Chris reaches forward, squishing your cheeks in his hand and leaning closer. “No pouting. I'm gonna shower and we can go.” He lets go of your face and leans back, smirking a bit as he turns and walks down the hall. “Make sure to wear something warm!” His loud voice rings out through the apartment, and you sigh, getting up to go get dressed.

This is not what you expected. To be fair, you don't really know what you expected, but an ice skating rink wasn't it. Chris must be able to see the confusion on your face, because he laughs and reaches for your hand. “Ice skating is an important part of the holiday season.” This is news to you. 

His hand doesn't leave yours as he pulls you towards the small building that houses the skate rentals. After a moment of waiting in line, you step up to the counter, pulling your wallet out to pay. “The hell do you think you're doing?” Chris has a serious face as he looks at you with furrowed brows. “Paying?” You didn't mean for your words to come out as a question. He shakes his head adamantly, gently pushing your arm back. ‘Should have known. Always has to pay.’ Every time he does this, your mind briefly wonders if you're on a date, but you always shake that thought away. 

Stepping onto the ice is always a little scary. It's not like you've never gone ice skating, but you always feel a bit rusty after not going for a while. You watch as Chris glides around the rink once before making his way back to you. He's so graceful as he skates. It's like there's nothing he can't do. His arms reach out towards you as he comes closer, beckoning you to start moving in his direction. 

Both of his hands clasp yours, pulling you into his chest. Despite the temperature, he's warm. He's always so damn warm. You pull your head back to look up at him, his eyes already focused on you. Getting lost in his eyes is so easy. It's like second nature. Your gazes stay locked for what feels like forever before you break the contact first, both visually and physically. 

As you shuffle backwards on your skates, you notice Chris drop his arms to his side. You're looking at your feet so you don't notice the disappointment that crosses his face. You turn, slowly skating off, trying to get the hang of it again. 

Chris joins you only a second later, giving you a slight nudge. “Wanna race?” He's wearing his signature smile, an eyebrow cocked. This is a bad idea. You know this is a bad idea. That doesn't stop you at all. “You're on!” You're moving forward before you finish the sentence.

“Are you ok?” Uninjured, yes. Mortified, also yes. Chris helps you off of the ice as you nod. You got too confident. He had been closing in on you almost immediately. Then, a child moved into your path. Down on your ass you went. “Need to step off the ice for a minute?” You give him an affirmative, you just need a little bit of a breather. 

The two of you step off the ice, not even bothering to take your skates off, you don't plan to be off the ice long. Chris walks you to a bench, making sure you're sat and comfortable before he walks away. He doesn't speak before he leaves, leaving you confused. You watch his back as the distance between you greatens, watching him stop and a tiny stand at the edge of the area.

He comes back with two cups in his hands, handing one to you. “Hot chocolate?” He nods, giving you a big smile, and the butterflies fly away again. “Figured it'd help warm you up, since, y’know, you ate shit and now your ass is cold.” His tone is teasing and a smirk plays on his lips. You give him a playful shove, telling him to shut up and his laughter fills the air. “Gonna need a massage?” His eyebrows wiggle and you almost spit the drink out. Once you finish your drink, he grabs your hand again, leading you back to the ice. The next two hours are filled with laughter and teasing as you skate hand in hand. 

You dream of ice skating with Chris. The holiday spirit creeps at the edge of your soul.

It's four days later that you come home to notice things are different. The tree is gone. You have a brief moment of giddiness, immediately feeling bad. You told yourself that you're going to try. It isn't fair to Chris if he goes through all of this trouble for you to refuse to try.

“Chris? Are you home?” You hear shuffling coming from the back half of the apartment. The Adonis of a man comes from his room, gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips, pulling a black muscle shirt over his head. You can see the ridges that adore his chest and stomach. It makes your mouth dry and your panties wet.

“Great, you're home. It's time for the first small activity.” You look around, trying to figure out what he has planned. It takes a bit, but you finally notice the Christmas tree messing put on top, not in, it's box. Your eyes flicking to your best friend, raising an eyebrow in question. 

“Yepp. First up, we put the tree up and decorate it together.” You suppress a sigh. This used to be one of your favorite things to do for Christmas, second only to baking cookies. You give him a small smile and a nod and the way his face lights up makes every grievance you have about doing this fly out of the window. 

Chris sets the tree up while you sort the decorations and untangle the lights. He had tangled them back up so you could get the “full experience.” Admittedly, that made you the tiniest bit happy. Just that he had thought of everything, even something as small as untangling lights. After he has the tree in its place, he steps away and grabs his phone, turning it to the radio station for the college. You give him a side eye and he laughs. “I may be off today, but I still support my team.”  The radio station is Chris’ baby. He’s always loved music, he says it has helped him through his darkest times. 

Of course Jisung is playing Christmas music right now, you suspect Chris had something to do with that since it isn’t a normal occurrence this early in the month. Footsteps coming your way clue you in that he has decided to make his way over to where you are. His arms come around you from behind, giving you a soft squeeze. He breathes a soft laugh into your ear as he watches you fight the strand of lights. “Here, let me help.” He rests his chin on your shoulder, his nimble fingers making quick work of the knots. You can’t help but focus on the way his hands move, god you want them inside of you.

The next hour or so is spent making sure every ornament is in the perfect place, not too close together, but not too far apart. The music, which has since switched from Christmas tunes, plays softly in the background. Every now and then, Jisung’s voice cuts through the speaker, usually to make some sort of joke or answer a question that was sent in. You’re distracted with making sure the tree is perfect that you don’t notice the way your roommate stands off to the side, watching you intently, a smile on his face and his eyes twinkling.

The rest of your week drags on. Your thoughts are muddled and all over the place. You’ve been happier than you normally are this time of year, and you know Chris’ plan is working. You can’t tell if it’s because of doing the activities you haven’t done in years, or if it’s because you're doing them with him. You think it may be the latter, though. Friday finally rolls around and after classes and your shift at the campus bookstore, you’re absolutely beat. You trudge through your front door, set on getting a shower and going to bed. 

Chris should still be at the radio station, he tends to work later on Fridays. It occurs to you that some self care may be in order, you could definitely use a good orgasm to make you feel better. With your mind made up, you grab your pajamas and your waterproof vibrator, quickly making your way to the bathroom. 

The steam from the hot water fills the room and it instantly makes you relax just a little. Your shoulders are loosening up more every second you spend undressing. The stream of water hits your skin and an involuntary sigh escapes your lips. You stand under the falling water for a few moments, letting the warmth seep into your skin. Almost absent mindedly, you reach for your vibrator, clicking it to the lowest setting.You run your free hand down your body, stopping at your breast to fondle and pinch your nipple. You let a soft gasp and you bring the toy to your clit, just barely grazing it, teasing yourself. 

The more tension that escapes you, the more you indulge yourself. You replace your vibrator with the shower head, the pressure hitting just the right spot. You slide the toy through your folds, down to your entrance, sliding it into your pussy slowly. The sound you make is louder this time, and you aren’t worried about the noise. It’s just you in the apartment and you need this. You fuck yourself faster, making sure to keep the pressure on your clit as you change the angle of your hand so the tip of the vibrator hits your sweet spot. 

Your orgasm is approaching faster than you thought it would, but you’re absolutely fine with it. Clicking the vibration setting up one notch, you throw your head back against the tile of the shower wall. You release a drawn out moan, your hips bucking slightly into the toy, chasing your high. Right as the dam is about to break, you click the setting button to the highest setting. You crash head first into your orgasm. Whimpers and whines fall from your mouth as you ride out your high, biting your lip to keep yourself from moaning out your best friend’s name.

The next day comes earlier than you thought it would, mostly because you’re woken up to a loud voice. “Good morning, pretty girl! Rise and shine.” ‘Choke, you happy bastard.’ You feel bad for your immediate thought, but as you roll over and take a look at your clock, you feel slightly less bad. “Christopher. It is 8am. What the actual fuck?” The only response you get is a smile and the feeling of blankets being ripped off of you. You fix your gaze on him, giving him the harshest death glare you can manage at this time of day, which doesn’t appear to bother him a bit. “Up, woman. We have things to do. If I don’t hear the sink running in 5 minutes, I’m dragging you out of bed myself.” ‘This is going to be a long fucking day.’ 

Your hands are on the handle of the shopping cart while Chris holds on to the basket. He directs the cart himself, you’re essentially just there for appearances, you guess. He stopped to get you a coffee, a peace offering, which you had accepted. But that doesn’t mean your mood has drastically improved. He looks great, he always does, but today he’s glowing more than usual. ‘Stupid, beautiful, perfect man. How are you this chipper this early? You barely sleep.’ 

You watch as he grabs drinks and snacks, still having no idea what is going on. He had refused to tell you anything on the drive to the supermarket, didn’t want to”ruin the holiday spirit surprise”, whatever that means. Once he deems there are enough items in the cart, he directs the two of you to the checkout counter. You don’t even bother pulling out your wallet, knowing it wouldn’t do any good. Chris pays, oblivious to the way the cashier is making googly eyes at him. 

After loading everything into the car, he opens the door for you, giving you a peck on the forehead. That causes you to duck your head to hide the blush that forms across your cheeks. You watch as he jogs around to the trunk, opening it and digging around for a second before he closes it and makes his way to the driver’s door. He turns to you as he’s buckling his belt, his voice soft. “Take yourself a nap, pretty. We have a bit of a drive ahead of us.” You give him a look, one which he ignores. ‘Where the hell is this crazy man taking me?’ You doze off before you can even think of a possible answer.

“Y/n. Wake up. We’re here.” The gentle swaying of your body coaxes you awake, your eyes automatically squinting to avoid the sun. Chris is already out of the car, already holding your door open. He takes your hand and helps you out of the car, pausing to let you stretch. He silently takes your hand, tugging gently, urging you to follow him. Your nose meets his back as he stops suddenly. You let out a tiny huff, rubbing your nose while he apologizes. “I’m sorry! I just forgot something!” He takes your hands away from your face to inspect you, making sure your nose isn’t bleeding, and presses a soft kiss to the tip. “Can you close your eyes for me? Please?” You do as he says without hesitation. “Good girl.” You shiver.

When you finally come to a stop, you guess that you must be inside somewhere. You can’t feel the sun on your skin, and the temperature has dropped slightly. You hear him shuffling around and as much as you want to see what’s going on, you keep your eyes closed. When he finally comes back to you, he grabs both of your hands and pulls you a little further forward. He drops your hands, and you feel him behind you, wrapping you up in his warmth. “Open.” You slowly lift your eyelids, both confused and in awe by what you see.

You’re in a barn, a blanket thrown across the ground. Pillows lay on the blanket, surrounded by the snacks and drinks you had gotten at the store. Everything is facing a wall, where a large projector screen hangs, the title screen for A Christmas Story paused on the screen. You hate cheesy Christmas movies, even when you liked Christmas. A Christmas Story is different, you could watch it all year round. Tears prick the corner of your eyes. No one has ever gone through such great lengths for you. “Chris…” Your voice breaks off and your best friend pulls you back into his chest and sets his chin on your shoulder. “Come on, let’s lay down. I brought an extra blanket to cover up with. I know how easily you get cold. There’s also more pillows in case the ground gets too hard.” You quickly spin around in his arms, latching your hands around his shoulders in a tight hug. “Thank you.” You feel him place a soft kiss on your hair. 

Feeling happy and content, you press play.

“What has you in such a good mood?” You direct your attention to Hyunjin. He’s looking at you like you’re some sort of impostor. “What do you mean? I’m just in a good mood.” He scrunches his face like he’s just smelled something awful. “Y/n, it’s December. Today marks exactly two weeks until Christmas. In the two years I have known you, you have never just been in a good mood for no reason this close to Christmas.” 

He’s right. You know that he’s right. You aren’t usually in an outright bad mood, but you certainly aren’t in a good mood for no reason. “Maybe I’m just having a good day.’ Your words come out in a mumble, you know they don’t sound convincing. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain Aussie, would it?” You knew you shouldn’t have told Hyunjin about your feelings for Chris. In your defense, you didn’t tell him. He just seemed to read your mind and then you couldn’t deny it.

“Shut up.” You’re grumbling now, not liking that you’ve been so easily read. You can see the smug grin on Hyunjin’s face. He knows he’s hit the nail on the head and you just want to smack him. “We made a deal. He’s trying to get me over the Christmas hate. I’m not saying it’s working,” It is. “I’ve just been having alot of fun. You watch your friend’s eyes widen before the cocky smile is back on his face. “You guys are so gonna fuck.” That one finally earns him the smack.

 It’s Thursday by the time you realize you haven’t had your small adventure this week, and you're surprised how sad you are about it. You’ve been pouting for two days because there has been no holiday fun. That thought alone makes you want to vomit. You definitely did not expect this. You? Wanting to do Christmasy stuff? Yuck. 

The bookstore is quiet, which isn’t unusual, but it gives your thoughts too much power. Is it time to let go? You assume it is, but you aren’t sure if you’re fully ready. It sounds dumb, but if you stay angry, you focus on that instead of the hurt. It’s starting to fade, though. Finally. You’ve thought for years that if you just pretended that Christmas didn’t exist, you’d move on. But, you guess you were going about it the wrong way. Maybe you do need to embrace the season. 

The bell above the door rings, signaling that someone has entered the store. You face the door, seeing your best friend walking in, stomping the snow off of his shoes. You give him a wave, a bright smile on your face, getting larger the closer he gets to you. “You don’t have much longer, right?” You shake your head, tilting it slightly to the side. He reads you like a book. “It’s time for our second mini adventure.” Your heart feels lighter.

There’s flour everywhere. It’s in your hair, it’s in his hair, it’s on the ceiling. The kitchen is a mess.

As soon as you had gotten home, Chris led you to the kitchen, where an array of cookie cutters were laid out on the counter. You didn’t even try to hide your smile. “Welcome to Bang’s Bakery.” You let out a snort at his customer service voice, his giggle filling the air around you. “We got snowmen, gingerbread men, Santa. You name it, we got it.” You immediately drift toward the metal shaped like a snowman, while Chris grabs the Santa cutter. 

The first batch of cookies turned out…not the greatest. You had gotten lost in a dance party, letting them stay in the oven for too long. The second batch was better, but had almost zero flavor. The third batch is where things took a turn. 

You had spilled the flour while trying to pour it into a measuring cup, a cloud coming from the plop it made on the counter. Chris let out a howl of laughter as he noticed your face covered in the remnants of the cloud. This just wouldn’t stand. No way. You hadn’t even taken a millisecond to think before reaching into the bag. A puff of flour hit Chris directly in the face. That shut him up. Briefly. He recovered quickly, a sly smile coming to his face. ‘Oh god, what have I done?’ 

He was on you before you knew it, fighting you for the bag of flour. There was no way you were going down without a full fight. You had snatched your arms back, turning to make a run for it. The flour stuck again. There was a white patch on the floor, which had somehow gotten mixed with some form of liquid. Your feet slid out from under you, causing you to hit the floor. The bag flew into the air, turned upside down and covered both you and Chris. 

He slid to the floor beside you, both of you in hysterics. Your sides were hurting from laughing so hard. “Y’ok?” His question came out in between him trying to catch his breath. You couldn’t even answer, too lost in the joy you’re feeling. He goes silent all of a sudden, his hands coming to cup your face to get your attention. You stare at each other, neither of you speaking. His eyes dart between yours and your lips. Just as you both lean in, his phone rings, You jump apart as he gets up to answer. “Bin needs me at the station. I’m gonna shower and head out.” You give him a stiff nod and he turns to walk down the hallway.

The weekend brings rain. Rain brings this weekend’s activity inside. Chris won’t tell you what he had originally planned, all he told you was that he had to make due with what he had. That explained absolutely nothing. 

A Christmas movie marathon. That was the backup plan. There was a slight disagreement on whether or not Die Hard is a Christmas movie, ‘it is’, but Chris disagrees. ‘He’s wrong.’ After that minor setback, the marathon is in full swing. The two of you are cuddled up under a blanket and you each have a mug of hot chocolate while Home Alone plays on the screen. Neither of you have brought up what happened after the flour fight, you aren’t even sure how you approach the subject. 

You somehow move from cuddling side by side to you laying on his chest. You aren’t complaining, it feels right. It feels like this is where you are supposed to be. Your eyes start to get heavy when Chris starts to play with your hair. Your nose is filled with his cologne and your heart is full of love.

Time seems to both speed up and slow down the closer you get to Christmas. Four days. That’s all you have left. It feels good to not be dreading the day. You feel more light and carefree than you have in years. Chris had texted you earlier today, giving you strict instructions.

Cutie with a booty: lay a sheet down on the living room floor and make sure to wear comfy clothes that aren’t super important to you. No, I won’t tell you what we’re doing. Don't even ask.

So here you were, sitting on the floor in an old shirt from highschool and some ripped sweats you’ve been meaning to throw away, waiting for Chris to get home. Just as you’re about to call and ask where he is, you hear a key enter the lock. Chris comes in with shopping bags full of stuff, though you can’t tell what it is. “I hope you have your crafty cap on!” You look at him like he just spoke gibberish.”My fucking what?” The man snorts so hard that he almost drops the bags. 

He sets all of the bags down on the sheet, plopping himself down afterwards. He reaches over, grabbing the bags and dumping the contents onto the sheet. Glue stick, cotton balls, glitter. All kinds of arts and crafts supplies, along with two plain red stockings. “We’re decorating stockings for each other. And no, you can not draw a penis on my stocking.” ‘Damn, He got me.’ You’re immediately hit with what you want to put on his stocking, confident that he’ll love it. 

The two of you work in silence, both concentrated on your art. Chris is using a lot of glitter and  a lot of black marker and you honestly have no idea what he could be doing. Looking down at your creation, you cringe slightly. You are in no way an artist, but you’re hoping he’ll at least be able to tell what your vision is. You grab your phone, needing a reference picture. Chris looks at you briefly, a disapproving look on his face.  “Calm down, I just need a reference picture.” His look changes to confused, but you just wave him off.

An hour later, both stockings are ready and hiding behind your backs. “I'll go first. This is about you enjoying Christmas, after all.” He reaches behind him, the stocking in his hands when they come back to the front of his body. He hands you the fabric and you observe it. Your name is written across the top in purple glitter, a heart on each side. In the center sits two penguins. They're facing each other, holding each other’s flippers. In between them is a pebble. You want to cry. You do cry.

“Chris. It's perfect.” He scoots toward you, his thumb coming to wipe away your tears. “Aww don't cry.” You let him know that it's a cry of happiness as you pull yourself together. It's your turn now and you turn slightly grabbing your gift. You extend your arms, watching him take in what you've made.

LIke him, you’ve written something across the top, but it isn’t his name. ‘RooBoo’ is written in blue glitter, with pink layering over the top. You’ve used the gold glitter to attempt to draw a kangaroo, though it doesn’t really look like one. Same goes for the koala. In between the two animals, the shape of Australia is drawn and shimmering in green and gold. You bite your lip anxiously, waiting for his reaction. Nothing happens. He just stares. You start to worry that he doesn’t understand what it’s supposed to be, or worse, doesn’t like it. 

All at once, he surges forward. He buries his face in your neck and wraps his arms around your waist. He just stays like that, not moving, not saying anything. You bring your arms around him, rubbing his back. You can feel moisture on your neck and it’s only then that you notice his soft shudders. “Chris?” You try to pull back to get a look at him, but he tightens his grip so you can’t go anywhere. “You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you so fucking much.” His voice is barely above a whisper, but you hear him anyway. You place a kiss on his forehead and you two stay that way for a while longer.

Christmas Eve. The last day of your little deal, you’re beyond ready to admit to Chris that he had won during week two, but you want to see what his final surprise is. Knowing him, he’s going all out for this one. He’s out all day, and you’re pacing around waiting for his return. Around 6:30pm, you get a call. It’s short and to the point. “Be ready in an hour, dress cute but warm. I won’t be home until it’s time to pick you up. See you then, pretty girl.” He doesn’t even give you a chance to answer, he just hangs up. How dare he only give you an hour, you have to shower, do your hair, pick an outfit, there’s no way you can do all of that in an hour. 

You manage to do it in 50 minutes, which you are very proud of by the way. Your hair is down, nothing fancy, but you know that Chris likes it like this. Your outfit is simple, a red and striped sweater, jeans and a coat. It may not look like the warmest choice, but you know you’ll be warm enough. There’s a knock on the door, which you find odd. Opening the door slowly, a mess of brown curly hair comes into view. Chris stands at your shared door, a bouquet in his hand. His hair is in its natural state, your absolute favorite look on him. He’s absolutely breathtaking. All you can do is stare. “Are you ready to go, sweetheart?” ‘Oh. Oh, that’s a new one.” Your heart beats in triple time, your stomach is a roller coaster. A nod is literally all you can manage. Your brain is telling your feet to move, your feet are not listening. 

You finally will yourself to move, with much help from Chris since he took you by your hand after putting the flowers in a vase with water. The elevator ride is tense, but not in a bad way. You want to latch yourself to his side and never leave. And like he tends to do, he somehow reads your mind, pulling you into him and placing a kiss on your forehead, this one lingering a little longer than usual. When the doors open, he doesn’t remove his arm from your shoulder as he takes a step. Through the glass door of the lobby, you can see snow lightly falling. It’s beautiful.

A slight breeze hits your face as you step outside. You swivel your head, looking for Chris’ car. “We’re not driving anywhere, pretty.” You look at him, confusion written on your face, causing him to giggle and tip his head toward the park not far from your apartment building. ‘Oh! A walk in the park!’ You smile at the thought of just walking hand in hand around the park in the snow. Though, you’re just happy to spend Christmas Eve with your best friend. A small pang of hurt rushes through you at the thought that he is still only your best friend. Maybe you’ll finally confess at midnight.

Just outside the entrance to the park, there is a horse drawn sleigh. There are people circling around it, and as much as you want to pet the horse, you don’t want to fight your way through a crowd. Chris seems to have a different idea, though. He pulls you directly to the sleigh, letting go of your hand long enough to tell the driver his name and show the man his ID. He takes your hand again, leading you to the side of the sleigh. “After you.” You stand there gawking at him for a moment, his smile never faltering. He helps you into the sleigh, lifting the blanket that’s placed on the seat so the two of you can slide under it. 

The view of the park tonight is unlike anything you have ever seen. There are Christmas lights strung up through the trees. Soft instrumental versions of Christmas songs play through the speakers placed around. There are families playing in the snow, lovers dancing around the lake. The whole park is a magical place. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” His voice draws your attention to him, making eye contact. “Chris, this is amazing. Everything is so beautiful. How did you do this?” His smile widens at your words. “I cheated a little. There was an ad at the radio station. We were supposed to be the first to announce it. I called and booked the first ride before I read the ad.” Your laughter is the loudest sound in the park, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. Of course he used the station. 

He slings his arm around you when your head lands on his shoulder and brings you closer to him. You’re close to sitting in his lap at this point. “Chris.” “Y/n.” You speak at the same time and you both giggle. You playfully argue over who should go first, and Chris finally takes the spotlight. 

“I said that I was spending this month trying to get you to like Christmas again, and I meant that. But that was a minor part of everything I’ve done. I wanted you to know what it’s like to be loved, genuinely loved, on Christmas. I know this time of year is hard for you, and understandably so, but I want you to know that you have someone who is here for you. You have someone who will never leave. You have someone that loves you more than words could ever explain. I love you, Y/n. I just wanted you to feel that love.”

You have no words. You have tears, but no words. You have tears, no words, and your lips on his.

You feel like you're floating. Are your feet on the ground? You don’t know. You can feel your hand in his, but you can’t feel your feet. And you aren’t bothered by it. Because you can feel his lips on yours. You walk through the doorway of your shared apartment, giving each other sweet kisses. It’s only when you’re fully inside with the door closed that the kisses deepen. Chris cups your face with both of his hands, one sliding up to run through your hair. You’re already in bliss. He pulls back slightly, his breath fanning across your lips. “Tell me how you want this to go, baby. We can stop here and have dinner, or we can go to my room.” You have never uttered a sentence out faster. “Your room, please. I think we’ve waited long enough, yeah?”

Before you realize what’s happening, he swoops you up into his arms, carrying you bridal style to his room, pressing his lips to yours the entire way. He doesn’t even bother closing the bedroom door behind himself, immediately moving to place you gently on his bed. You scoot yourself further up, beckoning him closer. He slowly crawls onto the bed to hover over you, his right handing coming back to your face as he leans down to kiss you again. His left hand makes a home on your hip, rubbing slow, soft circles with his thumb. There is no urgency in your shared kisses, only the need to be close and show each other the love that you feel.

You kiss until both of your lips are swollen and red and Chris finally pulls back, just to admire you. “You are beyond beautiful. I love you so much.” His words are quiet, like he’ll break the magic moment if he speaks any louder.

 “I realize I haven’t told you how I feel yet.” You take a deep breath, preparing yourself to spill your feelings. “You are the kindest, most genuine person I have ever met. You go out of your way to make sure that everyone you care about is taken care of, even if that means not taking care of yourself.” You pause briefly, giving him a look. “We’ll talk about taking better care of you later.” He giggles as he presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “When we met, I had no idea how important you would become to me, and now that I know, I never want to not have you here. And I’m not worried that I’ll have to deal with that. You have given me more hope and love than I ever thought possible and I am so fucking in love with you.”

The kiss you receive in response is softer than the others and you aren’t sure how that is possible. You can feel every ounce of care this man holds for you in the barely there kiss. It makes your head spin. Slowly, his lips travel from yours down to your neck, sucking softly at the skin. You arch into him, gasping at how good it feels just to have his lips on you. His kisses travel lower, stopping at the edge of your sweater. “Can I take this off of you, babygirl?” You clench around nothing at the pet name, and of course Chris notices. He notices everything about you. 

You give him a nod and his hands slowly pull the sweater over your head, his eyes locked on yours as he removes it completely. Out of instinct, your hands move to cover yourself, but he grabs them before they make contact with your breasts. “Please don’t hide from me, my love. I want to see all of you. You’re so pretty.” Something churns inside of you at his compliments and you will yourself to keep your arms down. He trails his eyes down your chest, zeroing in on the fabric of your bra. He lifts his eyes back to yours, a silent question swirling in his brown irises. You give him a firm nod, not wanting him to sense any hesitation. You have no hesitation.

You reach around and unclasp your bra, bringing the straps down your shoulder until the garment falls onto your lap. “Fuck.” His voice is strained and you can hear the lust in his tone. But you can also hear the love. His hands rise to your chest, thumbs flicking over your nipples slowly. You let out a soft moan, biting your lip. His touch doesn’t linger for long, moving down to the top of your jeans. “Do you still want to keep going, baby? We don’t have to.” You love how he checks in with you before doing anything, it makes you feel so comfortable, like your comfort is more important than his desire. And you know that that is exactly how he feels.

“Chris, please.” The whine in your voice seems to do something to him because he groans as he begins to unbutton your jeans. While his hands are occupied removing you from the confines of your clothes, his lips press against your stomach. He takes his time with you and even though you’re soaked at this point, you don’t dare try to rush him. You can tell that he wants to worship you, and you intend to let him. His lips touch every new piece of skin that is revealed, not wanting to leave any part of you untouched. He leans back to take in the view of you. Your hair is slightly messy from his hands running through it. Your cheeks are flushed as you lay there in only your panties. You buck your hips up at him once and his hands immediately move to take the ruined fabric off. 

Once you’re bare beneath him, you gain a little confidence, spreading your legs so he can see your core. He outright moans at the sight. You can see his cock straining against his jeans, it’s big, that much you can tell. Your hole clenches at the thought of taking him, and again he takes notice. “What dirty thoughts are you thinking to have you clenching like that, babygirl?” The name makes you clench again and he smirks. “Oh? Y’like that do you? Like when I call you babygirl?” You spread your legs further apart as give him a nod, another groan coming from the gorgeous man in front of you.

“Yes, Daddy.” You stiffen. You have no idea where that came from. Never have you called a man daddy in bed, but for some reason, it felt so right that it just slipped out. Chris growls at that and you know you’ve found a weak spot for him. “Look at my pretty baby, all wet for me. Daddy’s gonna take good care of you, babygirl.” He lowers himself to the floor, grabbing at your ankles and slowly pulling your core toward his face. “Still good, baby?” Another nod from you and he presses a kiss to your clit. The contact has you arching into him, your obvious pleasure making his tongue dart out of his mouth to taste you. 

You try to keep your moans down as he devours you. You have a hand in his hair, not pulling, simply running your fingers through it. He alternates between circling your clit with his tongue and slipping the muscle inside of you, ending the pattern with a suck to your clit. The pleasure is overwhelming. It’s too much and it’s not enough. Your moans increase slightly in volume, until Chris stops his lovely attack on your pussy.

“Let me hear you, baby. I know you can do better than that. I heard you in the shower, you sounded so fucking beautiful. The best song I’ve ever heard.” You know you should be embarrassed, but you aren’t. His words only cause a new wave of arousal and a loud moan to escape you. “That’s it. There’s my good girl.” Another clench. Chris chooses this moment to slide a finger into you, curving it instantly, looking for the soft spot inside of you. He knows he’s found it when you buck your hips up and groan and he moves his face back down to lick at you more.

The combination of his tongue and fingers turn out to be deadly. You’re rapidly approaching your high. “Chris, please. I’m so close.” He picks up the pace of his fingers, pressing into your sweet spot on every thrust. Your moans flow out of you now, even if you wanted to stop them, you wouldn’t be able to. “There we go. Come on, babygirl. You can do it. Cum for me, cum for Daddy.” Your vision blurs, stars explode from your peripherals. Chris helps you ride out your orgasm before slowly pulling his fingers from you. “Can you open up for me, sweetheart?” Your mouth opens without you having to tell it to, and his fingers find their way onto your tongue. “Suck. See how good you taste.” You obey him without pause, moaning at the taste of yourself on his fingers.

He pulls his fingers from your mouth, moving them down to the button of his jeans, while the other hand reaches towards the nightstand for a condom. You reach out and grab his wrist, shaking your head. “Wanna feel you. All of you.” You can see his eyes glaze over with lust, but he still asks if you’re sure. You nod, you don’t think you’ve ever been so sure of something in your life. He moves with a little more haste as he kicks his pants off. “Holy shit.” You didn’t mean to say the words out loud, but one look at his cock has your mouth watering, but it also has you wondering if it’s going to fit. He has one hand slowly stroking himself, moving closer to your cunt, sliding himself through your folds. “Relax for me, love. All you have to do is relax and let me in.”

He pushes into you slowly, a deep, drawn out groan coming from his throat. A high pitched whine leaves you at the same time, a harmony of pleasure. Once he’s fully sheathed inside of you, he pauses, not moving. “Fuck, baby. You’re so tight. Fit me perfectly. Cunt was made for daddy’s cock, huh?” All you can do is nod and whine, and bring your legs to wrap around his waist. You manage to buck your hips slightly, trying to get him to move. He pulls his hips back slowly, pulling out until only the tip of his cock is resting inside of you. He shoves his cock back into you all at once, not too roughly, but making sure to hit deep. 

Your body moves into a deep arch at his thrusts, all hitting the spongy part inside of you perfectly. You’re already working your way to another orgasm. “Feel so good, baby. So glad I get to have you like this. Love you so much.” His thrusts start to speed up and you can tell that he’s holding himself back, wanting you to finish one more time before he lets himself go. “I’m close, sweet girl. Think you can come for me one more time? Come with me this time?” Tears are pricking the edges of your eyes and you quickly nod. “So close. So close, Love you. So close.” Your words come out jumbled, but you think Chris understands. He speeds up a little more, the both of you moaning in time with each other. Chris leans down so his mouth is right next to your ear. “Now, baby. Come now. I love you. You can do it.” You cum with a cry of his name, your pussy clamping down on his cock sends him into his own orgasm, groaning as he fills you.

You’re both panting by the time you come down. Chris slowly pulls out slowly, watching his seed dribble out of your spent hole. His hand twitches like he wants to push it back inside of you, but he doesn’t. He turns and leaves, you can hear the faucet running in the bathroom. He comes back with a warm cloth, carefully cleaning you up and adding a kiss to your forehead. He helps you up, walking with you to the bathroom so you can pee. When you emerge from the bathroom, he’s standing by the door with a bottle of water. He really is perfect.

Once you get back to his room, he gives you a shirt of his to wear to bed. “Need me to go get underwear from your room?” His thoughtfulness makes you smile. “Nah. Don’t need ‘em.” He smirks at that, knowing that you mean that this will lead to morning sex and he’s all for it. He joins you on his bed again, pulling you into his arms. “So, it’s midnight. How are you feeling about Christmas?” You’re silent for a moment, thinking of what you want to say. Pulling back to look at him, you smile.

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”

[tetrakys]

A few thoughts on the Halloween event

The first event of New Gen was released today, and as usual there are some positives and negatives. I'll start with the negative and put everything under spoiler.

Negatives

The system in my opinion isn't well calibrated. I personally hate gatcha, years ago I swore to myself I would never play another gatcha game in my life. But alas most games have some form of gatcha embedded mechanic, and I know generally people are not as negative toward them as I am. However, even if I want to set my personal feelings aside and try to be completely objective, there are some issues.

I think it all boils down to: games should either have a luck component or a timing/difficulty component. At the moment the event relies both on luck (the gatcha and the minigame) and timing (it's too short). This means that while it's impossible for f2p players to complete the event in full, it's also extremely expensive for them (and everyone else) to catch up.

Side note: I don't think it's outrageous that f2p can't complete the event in full. If we look at other games it's basically the case everywhere (I'm thinking of Ikemen games especially, but also MLQC and other similar mobile games). Companies have to make money somehow so it makes sense that they incentivise people to invest in the game with additional rewards. The issue here is that by adding too many obstacles what is achieved isn't a desire to invest some money to keep playing, but only a feeling of frustration that puts people off completely.

I did the math, f2p players by entering the event every day will only be able to obtain around 10-12 items when the total is 25 (including clothes, room elements and moments with the crushes), which makes for only 40% of the event. The gap is too large. If it had been 70-80% instead, maybe some players would've felt encouraged to spend something on the event to complete it, but when you're missing more than half and would need around 650-750 gems the feeling is instead anger mixed to a resigned 'what's the point?'.

Of course there is the possibility of someone being extremely lucky and obtaining perfect scores at the minigame and also unlocking all the dates and items they really care about in those free rolls they are able to obtain. It is true that not everyone wants to maximise the event and unlock all clothes and scenes. In which case yes, the event would be very convenient to them. But 40% odds of obtaining exactly what you want are still too low in my opinion.

Hence why I think this would be solved by either making the minigame easier, or extending the event for a few extra days.

Positives

There are indeed some very positive aspects. The outfits and items are all really pretty in my opinion, plus I already mentioned being a fan of how the crushes look like in their Halloween attire.

But what I think is the main improvement of this event is the scenes spent with the crushes, they seem to be much longer than what we used to have in the old game. Plus personally I really liked these scenes, they were both funny, cute and a bit romantic/hot. I can tell it's an early days event because there's nothing overtly romantic going on, but it feels right for the pace of the game. Also, I think all illustrations are 10/10 chef's kiss (I wiiiish Jason's illu had been a bit darker, with a dangerous/spicy undertone, but alas that's just my personal taste).

Also, what really sold me on these scenes is that they are all saved in our library, and we can replay them in full whenever we want and even pick different choices. This gives my completionist soul so much relief, I've always hated that I couldn't test different choices in past events without spending most of the event currency.

So, in conclusion, there are both things that work and don't work in this event, I hope for Christmas and Valentine the high quality of art and scenes will be kept and the system will be reworked to make it less frustrating for everyone.

[indigo-flightly-falls]

The four soldiers of Dogwarts perfectly fit with the four seasons: an unhinged rant of a neurodivergent minor who has had too much sugar

anyways the title explains the idea of this post ^_^

Let's start with fall bc I miss Halloween.

BigB is fall. Fall is a beautiful time of the year, with warm colors and leaves falling and Halloween and time to be with friends. And yet, fall is harsh. It starts out with the warm of summer, and ends a dreary, cold and wet time. Plants do not grow in the later weeks of fall. In the same sense, BigB does not appear threatening. He appears kind and docile, not ready to join the fight (and not one to betray anyone). And yet, just as the fall fades to bitter chill, BigB is capable of much more danger then expected. With or without remorse, betrayal is a option on the table.

Etho is winter. Winter is harsh, bitter, and a constant struggle. Plants are almost unable to grow, snow storms and blizzards can take out many people, and wolves and foxes prowl the forest. And even with it's dangers, winter is a beloved time of year. It's the season of togetherness, with Christmas (and other holidays of this time) and Valentines day both falling during the harshest time of winter. In the same way, Etho is beloved and regarded as a danger. Weither or not they're actually dangerous is up for debate. Winter can pardon those it cares for, and in the same way, Etho is much more loyal then they'll ever let on

Martyn is spring. Yes I know there's the whole 'never made it to spring' deal but bear with me. Spring starts out bitter and wet, with frosts coming to kill off plants that sprout too early. But spring also is full of warmth and sunlight and the promise of a new beginning. And, storms are a common thing to happen during the spring, which can be quiet dangerous if you're not careful. Martyn rarely shows his more loyal side, hiding it behind an uncaring front. And this uncaringness isn't always a lie, but there is small amounts of loyalty still buried like a seed waiting out the frost.

And finally, Skizz is the summer. Spring is the most loved season, promising freedom and warm days with cool nights, skies filled with stars and days spent playing with friends. And yet, summer is storm season in many places, and god forbid that your soil grows dry only to have a heavy downpour. That's a quick way for a flood. And on top of everything else, summer is fleeting. It seems to pass before you even started to enjoy it. In the same way, Skizz promises nothing but loyalty and protection and fun, but a quick switch, that when flipped, shows another side. A side of bloodlust and a hunger for battle. A side that still (despite it all) holds an instinct driven urge to protect.

@thenopequeen here because I fully relate to the need for more of them

@dingdinghq i know you also miss them so here ya go :D

[maytheleiabewyou]

Analysis of the German gay film #freierfall / #freefall PART 4

For the 10th anniversary (omg! 10 years already!) (11 now because its 2024!) of one of my favorite movies I decided to make an analysis of the film and especially of the scenes between these two great actors.Max Riemelt and Hanno Koffler. Kay and Marc. Marc and Kay. I hope you like it and that above all it serves to encourage the creators to give us that long awaited second part.

HERE IT IS PART 4:

I'm baaaack! Sorry for the delay <3 I would have liked to upload this fourth part as a christmas present but well now you could say it's a late valentine's day present hehe

Remember where we left it? :)

I promised myself I was going to only talk about these two ignoring all the plot with Marc's wife pregnancy but I think its necessary to mention it. This wonderful kiss in the woods happened MEANWHILE! (although here Kay did not know it yet!) After this scene there are a couple more that do not involve these two = boring. haha Scenes that Marc tries to convince himself how good is his life and how lucky he is. #whoareyoutryingtofool

After training at the police academy comes the action! And of couuuuurse Kay had to go to the same unit as Marc. Fact that Marc did not seem to like it at all.

+What are you doing here? (Marc) -I'm glad to see you too (Kay)

The first time I saw the movie I thought Marc was going to kiss Kay furiously. The next few times I watched this scene I felt sorry for Marc and how he deals with his frustrations with violence and is not able to face these new feelings in a normal way. But now, I see this scene and I really feel sorry for Kay. He doesn't deserve to be treated like that and even less for saying what we all think (that Marc is quite happy to see him again). It is true that for Marc this meeting is the last thing he needed. But just because he is afraid.

Time for Kay to find out he will be an uncle? hahah

oKAY its true that Kay's expression is everything in this scene but look at Marc! He is saying so much without talking! He is between shy, serious (not smiling at all even though Bettina is happy talking about baby) and kind of afraid that Kay found out? Look how for a moment he looks away and immediately looks at the ground as if avoiding Kay.

The dialogues here are key to understand everything. First of all neither Kay or Marc greets each other (where are your manners guysss)

-scary huh? (Says Bettina due to Kay's facial expression)

And then nobody talks about it anymore. Kay and Marc can't say anything else. They just glance at each other but inside a whole of emotions are going on.

Blessed the existence of men's bathroom that allows the two of them to be alone for a moment!

Kay is spechless. He speechless? I know. So Marc looks at him and says:

+yes, that's how things are (as Kay cared about that HAHAH)

Fun fact: after this scene they go home and Bettina asks Marc about Kay. And while Marc can only say bad things about Kay, Bettina is like "he seemed nice to me" hahaha

Now comes the moment we all were waiting for! Pure authenticity

After Marc again being violent with Kay in an exercise, Kay approaches him gently and just is honest with Marc:

AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY GO JOGGING, RIGHT?

I know you will hate me right now but Im ending this part here haha! So the wait for the next part will be more than worthy!!!

ps: Thanks for all the feedback from the previous publications and to the owners of the gifs I used. Also, here you have the previous parts in case you missed them <3

[ohtobeleah]

No pressure but it feels like a missed opportunity to ask what Easter is like at Fe and Roosters house!

Terms of Endearment Masterlist

Let’s not pretend that Odette Dolan (Soon to be Bradshaw) isn’t the most spoiled little girl in the entire world, because she damn well is. Now that’s not in the way of, she gets what she wants when she wants spoiled. She’s spoiled in the sense that her parents absolutely go ape shit for holiday seasons. More important—Rooster goes ape shit. 

Easter is no exception—and although the Bradshaw household isn’t exactly religious or in tune with the significance of Easter to a large percentage of the world’s population, they do however—enjoy seeing their little girl full of wonder and awe at Christmas, on her birthday, at Easter Time and even Valentine’s Day—because let’s be real here for a minute people…..Bradley Bradshaw crushes the game at keeping the magic of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny alive until his children aren’t children any more. 

“I can’t wait to have to vacuum this flour up tomorrow after it’s been trampled all through the house.” You sighed as you organised Dot's Easter basket. Watching as Bradley stamped small bunny like footprints into flour he’d sprinkled from the front door to the dining table. 

“She’s gonna love it, look!” Bradley stood as he pulled a carrot he’d stolen from the fruit and veg crisper out of his pocket. Taking a rather over exaggerated bite. “The Easter Bunny is even gonna leave this strategically half eaten carrot behind on the floor because it might get Dot to eat her carrots.” You couldn’t help but to laugh at your husband's sly ways. “If carrots are good enough for the Easter Bunny they should be good enough for her.” 

“She doesn’t like orange fruit and veg Roosters, it's just a phase.” Dot had gone off carrots and oranges a few months ago. Apparently the orange in the food made her tummy hurt. The trend then extended to include cantaloupe and orange bell peppers, although Amilia had her trying to say rockmelon and capsicum because that’s what they call them in the land down under. 

“You. Enable. It.” Bradley leaned in over you as you folded the new set of pyjamas Dot was getting in her Easter basket this year. Along with some colouring books, some new texters, and some pink sunflower glasses to replace the ones Jake accidentally broke with his giant ass head. Smirking because you knew you did. “She’s gonna be eating carrot sticks by the end of the day.” 

“She’s gonna be running around with a stomach full of chocolate eggs, carrot sticks are going to be the last thing on her little mind.” You counted, putting the finishing touches into your daughter's Easter basket as you sat back, exhaling slowly as you rubbed your stomach. “Last Easter just the three of us.” 

Bradley stood before he rounded the corner of the table, placing gentle hands on your shoulders as he kneaded your aching shoulders. Knowing that you’d never say no to an impression massage. 

“She’s growing up so fast.” It was a fact that the pair of you weren’t comfortable with. “Where did that little two year old go?” You hummed in response as you felt your child kick at the sound of Bradley’s voice. Their daddy. Your husband and best friend. Your forever soulmate and love of your life. 

“She’s our big four year old now—“ In the comfortable silence of the night before Easter, you and Bradley both agreed that time was moving far too quickly. “Here, help me up, I’m done and still need to shower.” 

“I’ve got a few more things to set up.” Bradley replied as he helped you stand, watching as you waddled yourself toward the stairs that almost seemed like an impossible feat this far along in your pregnancy. You were ready to blow any day now. “I’ll meet you in bed?” 

“Okay, don’t go overboard, Bradshaw—Jake and Amilia are coming over for lunch tomorrow and I’ll want all that flour cleaned up before breakfast.” 

“Yes ma’am.” Bradley was just in awe of you, how much your body has changed to bring new life into the world. He was  in awe of the fact that even though you’d be through hell? You still manage to be this gentle and kind soul—the matriarch of the family he’d found. “Love you! I promise I won’t be far behind.” Bradley beamed as you turned to look at your husband over your shoulder from the first of many impossible steps. Why you two decided on purchasing a two story house while you were eight months pregnant you'd never understand. “Not too much mess, I just gotta hide the eggs.” 

The problem with most relationships was that people spent all their time looking for someone to grow old with. And although Rooster knew he’d have you till his dying days, he thought that the real thing people should be looking for was someone to stay a child with. 

So that’s why when Bradley knew you had waddled all the way up the stairs, he got to work hiding his four year olds Easter eggs in easy eye level nooks and crannies that she could easily spot. Only to then turn his attention to the few Easter eggs and gifts he’d gotten you. Hiding them around the house. 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Woah!” The first thing Odette saw at a crispy 6am the next morning, was a single Easter Egg placed perfectly on her little night stand beside her bed. It had been dusted with icing sugar because Rooster knew she’d dip her finger into the scattering of white powder he used to make a tiny paw print in. “Mamma! Tooster!” She shot out of her bed in seconds, her bedroom door had been left ajar and the minute she saw the powered footprints in the hall along the hardwood floor? She screamed with so much joy it had you jolting awake. “Ahh! Mamma! The Easwer Bunny came!” 

“Dots awake.” You mumbled into your pillow. “Scissor paper rock me?” All Bradley did was hold up his hand in a fist, no words were needed. You both know the rules, best of one, no ifs or buts. You chuckle softly and count through. “Scissor, paper, rock—“ You paper loses to Roosters scissors and you groan. “Fuck, are you really gonna let your heavily pregnant wife get up and tend to your child at 6am?” 

“Your child Fe—“ Bradley mumbled as he rolled over to look at you with a smug look smeared across his face. “She’s all you—“ 

“I’m so sick of that fucking joke—“ You countered, smacking Bradley on the head with one of your pillows. “Fine, I’m going, but I’m spitting in your eggs.”

“Now I know your secret to making them so fluffy, the essence of Felix.” You couldn’t help but to laugh as you got up with a huff, waddling out and around the bed you shared with Bradley to see what all the commotion in the hallway was about. 

To your shock and horror the entire hallway was covered in a light dusting of flour, small but noticeable ’bunny’ prints led from Odette's room, down the hall, all the way down the stairs and over to the dining table where Rooster had left his half eaten carrot stick and out to the front patio. 

Not too much mess your ass. 

“Mama!! The bunny! Came!” Dot beamed as she grabbed your hand and squished her face into your swollen belly. “We gotta go look down staiws!” Under your breath as you waddled down the almost impossible steps with your daughter guiding you, you knew that the ‘Easter Bunny’ would never cum again if he didn’t clean this mess up before lunch time. 

“Oh my god Dotty look at this place!” You held a hand over your mouth as you got to the bottom of the stairs, there were floured paw prints all over the place and eggs galore. “Holy hell baby you better go get Rooster before he misses out on this.” 

Dot was off in seconds as you padded over to the empty basket next to your daughters. A note was the only thing inside. You couldn’t help but to smile as you read the note your husband had left you as you ran a protective hand across your baby bump. 

“Happy hunting ~ Your Easter Rooster.”

“Oh woah! Look at this place Dotty girl, what's in your basket?” Bradley beamed as he held his four year old daughter on his hip. Dodging the dusted bunny paw prints as he made his way over to where you stood by the baskets on the dining table. “Look Dotty, woah! New pyjamas and colouring books and texters too!” 

“I needed dose!” Dot giggled as she squirmed in Roosters grip before he put her down to rummage through her basket. “Thanks Mr Bunny!” 

“Funny—“ You turned to Bradley as he went to kiss your cheek but managed to catch the corner of your mouth. “I don’t ever remember the Easter Bunny being this messy.” 

“He may have gotten a little carried away.” Bradley grinned ear to ear. “But looks like he brought you some gifts this year too mama, but you gotta go on a hunt for them first.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**

Tags: @a-serene-place-to-be @lilyevanswhore@thescarletknight2014@blindedbythelightt@averyhotchner@emma8895eb@blairfox04@caitsymichelle13 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @teacupsandtopgun @aemondssiut @feltonswifesworld87@akalei349@notjustsomeblonde@americaarse@avaleineandafryingpan@phoenix1388@xoxabs88xox@je-suis-prest-rachel@pono-pura-vida@rosiahills22@starset21@anarchyrising @caidi-paris @starkleila@criticalroleobssedperson@enchantingdreamergothprune@flrboyd@emma8895eb@endofdays56

[issdisgrace]

NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF

WARNINGS: Fluff, age regression, rudy is a cute kid

It had been a long day of meetings after meetings. With the last meeting over, I head back to the barracks, hoping Rudy was in our shared room. Walking down the long corridor, I eventually come to a stop at our door. Just before I open it, I hear giggling, well that’s stranger. Deciding to continue on, I open the door and I’m met with the sight of Rudy in his boxers and an oversized shirt sitting on the floor playing with 3 stuffed animals. I recognize the stuffed animals immediately as the ones I bought and given to him as gifts. The first one was a bear that I got him for valentines last year. The second one was a penguin I got him for our first Christmas together. Then the third one was a jaguar I bought him not even a couple of weeks ago because I saw it and the eyes reminded me of him. Now thoroughly intrigued by the sight in front of me, I make my presence known as I shut the door behind me. Before I can get a word out, Rudy jumps up from his spot on the floor and runs towards me. I’m able to brace myself before he jumps into my arms. I manage my grip on him so he doesn’t fall. He doesn’t seem to care as he smiles and says,

“Hi daddy.” His voice is so sweet and small. It warms my heart. 

“Hey bud. How are you?”

“I’m good. Just missed you lots.”

“Aww, I missed you too.”

“Really?”

“Yep, I missed you a lot.” 

“Do you want to see the picture I drew?”

“Sure bud.” I carefully set him down, to which he grabs my hand and leads me to his setup. I watch as he rummages through some papers before pulling out a drawing. He hands it to me with a smile and I can’t help but smile back as I take it. Looking over the picture, I read the messy writing that says “me and daddy” with an arrow pointing to 2 figures holding hands. 

“This is so good, baby. Did you do this all by yourself?” He nods vigorously as his smiles widens.

“You’re very talented, I must say.”

“I am?”

“Yep, you could be a professional.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I think this should be hung in museums.”

“I don’t want it in museums because then you can’t see it.”

“You’re right bud, I’ll have to put it up somewhere. I can see it every day. But I’ll do that tomorrow. I’m too tired to do it tonight.”

“Oh, ok.”

“Now what do you say I change out of these clothes and then we get some sleep?”

“Ok.”

“Alright, I’ll be back in a minute.” Walking into the bathroom, I shut the lock on the door behind me. I take a moment to collect my thoughts. Ok so I have a boyfriend regressed to the age of 6 or 7 and no answers on why or when did the regression started. I, of course, knew what age regression was. I just never thought Rudy would be the type to regress, not that I’m complaining he’s a pretty cute kid. This also fills in a lot of blanks and explains some of his quirks. But I’ll have to talk to him when he’s big again. Deciding I have thought enough about how this going to change the dynamic of the relationship. I strip down to my boxers and throw the rest of my clothes in the hamper. Exiting the bathroom, I see Rudy already snuggled up in bed with a stuffed animal in his arms. Slipping in the net to him, I pull him close into my chest and give him a kiss on the forehead.

“Goodnight Rudy.”

“Goodnight daddy.”

TIMESKIP NET DAY

The blaring of the alarm quickly woke me up. Rolling over, I turn it off. Sighing, I roll back over to face Rudy, his eyes fluttering open. 

“Good morning, Y/n.”

“Good morning Rudy. Do remember what happened last night.”

“No, not really. The new recruits were giving me a hard, and I came back here and that was really all I remember.”

“So you remember nothing while you were regressing?”

“Oh god, you weren’t supposed to know.” Rud says as he hides his face in his pillow. 

“It’s ok Rudy. I have no problem with you regressing it just a little shocking, as you hadn’t mentioned anything to me. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I-I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Rudy, I’m not mad that you didn’t tell me. I get its hard to be so open and I love you too much for this to change anything about us or our relationship.”

“I love you too.”

“I love you more Rudy.”

[parmahamlarrie]

Happy March friends! This was a lovely month of reading, found some new favorites for sure. Hope you all enjoy! x

Play Pretend, Find a Friend? || @angelichl || 40.2k College AU, Fake Relationship, Coming Out, Mild Homophobia I don't normally lean towards fake relationships, but this one is clearly beloved for a reason! Such a great way to start my month!

Haven || orphan_account || 35.7k Teacher AU, Age Difference, BDSM Club, Kink Discovery, Kink Negotiation This fic has been sitting on my TBR for so long and I regret waiting as long as I did to get to it.

never been a fan of change, but we're still the same || @onlythebravest || 27.1k A/B/O, Friends to Lovers, College AU, Hurt/Comfort, Drops, Nesting

Checking Them Out?: How to Use Your Library Science Degree to Get an Alpha || @insightfulinsomniac || 19.9k A/B/O, Librarian Harry, Architect Louis, Courting, Humor, Mild Crack This is the best A/B/O fic of 2023 and I am so serious, go read it right now.

Fiction Romance || orphan_account || 17.5k University AU, Punk Louis, Blind Date, Oblivious Harry TW: Mental Illness (side character)

The Edge of the Stars || @casuallyhl || 16.9k Dating TV Show, Fashion Exec Louis, Writer Harry, First Date This was so incredibly lovely! I am such a sucker for dating shows on TV and loved this fic as well. I am without a doubt that these two would find real love on such a shit program.

Butterflies and Delight || @sunshineandthemoonlight || 13k Teacher Harry, Single Parent Louis, Dating Apps, Humor

Even As Young As You Are || @olo-gist || 12.3k Kidfic, Uncle Harry, Famous/Non Famous, Famous Harry, Nurse Louis This fic does a wonderful job of encompassing so many years in such a short time.

Eyes on the Horizon || @uhoh-but-yeah-alright || 12.2k Older Harry, Strangers to Lovers, Sky Diver Louis, Sexual Tension This was an unexpectedly wonderful one. Obviously, this author always does amazing work, but it was the tension that knocked it out of the park for me.

Come In and Change My Life || @lightwoodsmagic || 12.1k A/B/O, Famous/Non-Famous, Mpreg, Strangers to Friends to Lovers The kind of fic where you would dive in and read their entire life stories.

Be Mine? || @softfonds || 11.1k Valentine's Day, Famous/Non Famous, Fluff and Smut, Singer Louis

Enter the Rose Garden || @angelichl || 10.3k A/B/O, Friends to Lovers, Soft Heat, Pining

I'll drive and you just lay back || @alwaysxlarrie || 10k Girl Direction, Established Relationship, Watching Porn Together I hope you guys know every time a Girl direction fic gets posted I scream in my texts with my friend. This one did not disappoint.

my heart's against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck (I'm in love now) || @bottomhaztoplou || 8.8k A/B/O, College AU, Courting, Friends to Lovers, Roommates A bit bias, as this was a gift in an exchange, but this was such a lovely piece of A/B/O fluff.

Everything I need, I get from you || @lunarheslwt || 6.4k A/B/O, Anxious Harry, Established Relationship, Valentine's Day

Missing You || @canonlarry || 6k Canon, Future Fic, Kidfic, Christmas, Humor

I wanna give it to you || @non-binharry || 5.3k A/B/O, Non Traditional A/B/O Dynamics, Sub Harry, Kidfic, Established Relationship This was so! I don't have words, just love!

Perfect, For Now || @parmahamlarrie || 4.9k A/B/O, Neighbor AU, New Towns, Touch Starvation, Misunderstandings Yes this is my fic, yes you should read it.

True North || @canonlarry || >1k Established Relationship, Kidfic, New Dads, Fluff

Looking for more fics? Message me for a more specific rec list!

Find pervious lists here!

[random-mailbox]

Random-Mailbox's Favorite Sailor Moon Fics - Week 42 - Birthdays

It is Usagi / Chibi-Usa Birthday Week (on June 30th), so it seemed like a good time to do stories on this topic. Although after I finished looking through it, majority are for Mamoru’s birthday BUT it seemed fitting to include them as well.  Keep in mind that a lot of Usagi birthday fics are also tied to the birth of Chibi-Usa, which would be it’s own post down the road. 

Also, don't forget to check out the prompts for @usamamoweek2023!

As always, my apologies in advance for spoiling some of these for you (Fic Titles are linked to either FFN or AO3 entries).

Happy Birthday Mamoru! - @areptiledysfunction1107

While away at Harvard, Mamoru keeps waiting for a call that does not seem to be coming from Usagi on his birthday. His first one in a couple of years that he hasn't been either brainwashed or dead for. But maybe, just maybe she has a surprise for him.

Trouble Trying to Sleep - @sailormoonrewrite

In a post Galaxia world, Usagi is having trouble falling asleep - made that much worse by the fact that it is night before her birthday.

"Girl's" Night In - @uglygreenjacket

To do something extra special for Usagi’s birthday, Mamoru (with some help and guidance from the girls), plans a surprise slumber party for her at his place. Doing all the traditional “girly” things you would expect, much to her delight.

a space in the clouds - @idesofnovember

Written for Mamoru’s 40th birthday, this slice of life fic is based in an alternate timeline where Crystal Tokyo did not come to pass. We get a glimpse of what future would look like and how grateful he is for it.

A Week with Mamoru Chiba: Chapter 6: Birthday - @she-dreams-in-pink

In this pre-relationship fic, Mamoru is dreading his birthday that no one should know is even that day. Except Usagi decided that she would do something to change that. 

Tokens of Affection: Chapter 9: 1st U_M anniversary: Celebration - Lina_Natsudori (Jennifer Ellison)

A short ficlet about Mamoru appreciating everything his life has become with Usagi and the girls around him

---

That's it for June! Yes, we have made through another month and FOURTY-TWO weeks of posts (cue jokes about Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).

Next week we start our July post schedule:

July 3 - Fluff

July 10 - First Kiss

July 17 - Reviving Shitennou

July 24 - @usamamoweek2023 - no fic rec post because you should be focusing on everything that creative people in this fandom are doing for that event!

July 31 - Tutoring

Here are the links to the previous Tumblr posts in these series to explore more amazing works based on different themes - make sure to check them out if you haven't had a chance! (Click on title name to go to the post) - I will keep updating the list every week as new posts come up:

Week 1 - Groundhog Day

Week 2 - Established Relationships

Week 3 - Sex Positivity

Week 4 - Unfinished Stories

Week 5 - Darker Stories

Week 6 - Potions 🧪

Week 7 - Reveals

Week 8 - 👻Halloween🎃

Week 9 - Wrong Perceptions

Week 10 - Non-Senshi AU

Week 11 - In-Progress Fics

Week 12 - Mutual Pining

Week 13 - Enemies to Lovers

Week 14 - Slow Burn

Week 15 - Christmas Part 1 - Ugly Christmas Sweaters and Santa!

Week 16 - Christmas Part 2

Week 17 - New Years

Week 18 - High School AU

Week 19 - Slice of Life

Week 20 - Coffee shop AU

Week 21 - Huddle for Warmth

Week 22 - Friends to Lovers

Week 23 - ❤️Valentines Day❤️

Week 24 - Do a Grouch a Favour Day (or Cheer Up Fics)

Week 25 - Soulmate AU

Week 26 - Amnesia Fics (and resources)

Week 27 - 🍀St Patrick's Day🍀

Week 28 - Fix it Fics

Week 29 - Prompt: Mug

Week 30 - Flowers

Week 31 - Traditions

Week 32 - Dreams

Week 33 - Friends

Week 34 - Body-Swap

Week 35 - Medical Assistance

Week 36 - Sex Pollen

Week 37 - Psychometry

Week 38 - What If

Week 39 - Missing Scenes Part I

Week 40 - Green Jacket

Week 41 - Dr Chiba

[b-afterhours]

Avenue of Sins: Neon

A sequel to Avenue of Sins

SUMMARY: ‘90s. It’s the aftermath. Jaded, Bill and Alma navigate their new lives as they try to drag themselves out of the dark debacherous trenches they had once ensnared themselves in. It’s easy to forget their evils when a silver lining introduces itself into their lives but can they create a less hedonistic life that would be just as satisfying?

WARNINGS: adult content, mature readers only.

The completed first series can be read and found here.

Author's Note: It's a long one. Happy New Year!

Chapter Nine

Valentine’s Day 1993

Bill was just about to leave his penthouse when the phone rang upstairs. Quickly, he took two steps at a time up the wrought iron spiral staircase and hastily grabbed the phone. It was Alma on the other end of the line thanking him for the dozen red rose vase bouquets that he had delivered to her apartment. 

“Is it overkill?” He asked. 

“Yes,” Alma laughed. “But they are all very pretty.” She said touching the soft velvety petals of a rose before her.

“I’ll miss you tonight.” 

“Me too. But we’ll see each other in a couple of days…” 

Bill smiled at the thought. “Uh, I was just heading out but-” 

“No. I’ll let you go. I have to do the same. We have a show tonight at the shop.” 

“Right,” he sighed. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” click.

…

Bill arrived at Trigger Finger XXX early that day since he wasn’t staying as late as he usually would that night. He had just finished eating a good sizable steak with a side of fries and sauteed asparagus that Bianca had gifted him. She had the kitchen staff prepare it for him making no fuss of it so that he could eat and enjoy it alone in the office. She knew he’d prefer it that way. He had almost forgotten to give her a gift but when leaving the gym he had stopped by a small chocolatier shop close by to grab her a box of intricate chocolates on a whim. One year she had even given him a bouquet of white roses which he found a little weird but deep down it did feel a little nice to receive. He wasn’t a great gift giver himself, it was just easier to hand money off than make decisions about what someone would like. Of course, with Alma, he made a little more effort but she never complained about the money either. 

Eventually, he found himself down below in the designated VIP booth he sat at every night. Everyone seemed to be in a loving mood. Quite a few times flower delivery men had come to his club to drop off bouquets to a few girls and he could see all the girls checking them out silently competing over who had the biggest prettiest one. Had they known Alma would have been the winner. Tommy had stopped by his booth, he had just personally delivered pink roses and a large teddy bear that had shiny pink foil heart-shaped balloons attached to it to Bambi. They shook hands and Bill offered him a drink while he was already waving a bartender over before he could happily accept as he slid into the booth. They spoke a bit about Tommy’s cubicle job and house hunting over drinks until the conversation fell back on the celebrations of the day. 

“Bambi seemed to really love the gift you brought,” Bill said.

“Ah, thanks she really likes that kind of stuff. I mean girls you know,” he lightly shrugged. “Uh did you get your wife something? Sorry, I can’t recall her name?”

“My girlfriend, Alma. Yeah, I got her roses.” He nodded.

“Oh, sorry I wasn’t sure whether-”

“Don’t sweat it,” he said, picking up his drink for a sip. In the back of his mind, he knew he probably should and would marry her. However, the thought of asking her the question made him so dreadfully anxious. Worried that she would say no even if most likely she wouldn’t. But what if she did? She could be very stubborn.

“I remember you two mentioning at Bianca’s Christmas party that you’ve been together since high school like me and Sar-Bambi I mean.” 

“Yeah, long time,” he said, picking a piece of lint off his tailored charcoal trousers. It was easier to give a short answer. They had only known each other since high school. That was a fact but in regards to being together just as Tommy and Bambi were wasn’t. However, he wasn’t about to get into the debacle that was their actual relationship with Tommy two-bit next to him. They never really officially asked each other to be boyfriend and girlfriend, one day they just were after everything else they were to each other.

“Mhmm. Do you ever… get bored?” 

Bill turned to look at him with furrowed brows. “Mm. No, she keeps me on my toes,” he smirked. 

Tommy just nodded sheepishly to himself. “My wife and I have kind of discussed maybe… inviting a third into our bedroom you know trying to spice it up. But uh we haven’t found anyone we can both agree on.” 

Bill quickly side-eyed him. Why the hell was he telling him this? “Um,” Bill sighed. “Sure but I hope you two aren’t fishing for my dancers. I don’t think that that would be app-” 

“Not the girls,” Tommy said, cutting him off and giving him a pointed look. 

Bill looked away from him for a second, noticing Venus dancing to What’s Love Got to Do with It by Tina Turner on stage, and then turned back to him with a skeptical expression on his face. “Eh, Tommy?” 

“You seem fine enough to me. She likes you,” he lightly shrugged. 

“Yeah… most people do but they don’t often ask me to fuck their wife.” 

“Hey, I was just putting feelers out,” Tommy said, putting his hands up defensively. “But I take it that you’re not interested. I just figured as a man who works in this type of environment that maybe…” 

“Sure,” Bill rolled his eyes. “But I learned long ago that I frankly don't like an audience.” He declared. 

It was years ago he agreed to let a pathetic husband watch him fuck their wife. It was fine when it started but when he could hear the other man's moans filling the room while he jerked off his less-than-average penis in a corner it began to throw him off. He was being demanded of things from both the husband and the wife. The woman wanted it a certain way while the man wanted to watch something else. Then the man got jealous and asked him to leave before he could finish much to his wife's protests against it. He didn’t like the idea of fighting a naked man while he was vulnerable as well. Instead, he collected his clothes, gave the man some scathing choice words, and went on his way. Though even afterward the woman called his phone but he rebuffed her politely as he could because he surprisingly felt bad about what she had to deal with. By the third time he rudely told her to lose his number and threatened to kick her husband's ass for real if she didn’t. 

“Just forget it, man. I read you wrong.” Tommy said, pushing his drink glass away.

“Look, it’s just not for me. But uh I hope you find someone at the very least.” 

“Mhmm,” Tommy said, putting on an act of checking his cheap wristwatch. “I gotta pick up our son from his grandma.” He offered his hand and gave him a curt handshake before he left. 

Bill just sat there alone slightly amused and stunned as he rubbed the thin white gold chain he wore around his neck between his fingers. To him, Bambi and Tommy seemed subjectively normal and though he’s seen and heard and done a lot in his life people could still surprise him. He shook his head to himself hurrying out of the booth and lit a cigarette on his way to the girl's dressing rooms. It was filled with all sorts of bouquets and heart shaped gifts today. There were a few girls in there when he stopped at the threshold flicking ash from his cigarette to the floor. The scent of Aquanet and strawberry body mist hit him. A few girls were adjusting straps of clothing and others touching up make-up in the mirror of the wall-to-wall-lit vanity. When they registered a male presence they all turned their head and smiled noticing it was him. Though security did a fine job of keeping men out there were times a creep would sneak past and they never liked to miss an opportunity to tell them off.

“Hi boss,” they all said together melodically. 

“Hi ladies,” he politely smiled at them. “Happy Valentine’s,” he said, slightly bowing his head.

He walked in further glancing at Bambi who seemed more occupied with touching up her red lipstick than paying attention to him. He wondered if she put Tommy up to the proposal or whether she knew at all. He looked around for Marcy when he realized Payday wasn’t in the dressing room meaning if he didn’t see her on the floor she was most likely in the private rooms working. Marcy was in the back area with Chastity holding onto a wax strip that had been applied to her lower belly as she braced. 

“Just do it!” Chastity whined and with that, Marcy pulled it away from her body which made her recoil from the abrupt pain. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Marcy said looking at the pink strip that had short dark hairs attached to it now.

“Fucking hardcore,” Bill said when Chastity walked away rubbing the ruddy sore spot below her navel as he took a drag of his cigarette. 

“Not so easy being a woman,” Marcy said, turning to him with a wink. “What’s up?” 

“I was looking for Payday. When she circles back around from the private rooms could you tell her I’ll be waiting in the loft?” He said pointing behind himself. 

Just before he walked out, Onyx came in walking a bit strangely announcing that she needed a tampon. When he got to the loft he plopped down on the couch because Bianca was sitting at the desk looking over paperwork and tapping her long red nails on the desk. He sighed to himself loudly as he lifted his long leg to place on top of the coffee table in front of him and the other crossed his knee at the ankle. 

“What’s up with you lover boy?” Bianca finally said. 

“Just waiting,” he shrugged. “Thanks for my gift by the way.”

“Of course! Thanks for mine.” She said tapping on the box of chocolates on the desk. He had just left it there for her to discover and placed a sticky note on it that read: To B from B. “And what is this that you’re waiting on? The desk?” 

Bill lightly chuckled. “Waiting on Payday. She asked if I’d take her to Simion’s fight tonight last week. I figured why not.” 

“Hmm,” Bianca expressed looking a little perturbed. “So she’s with him for real then?” 

“Seems like it. Why?” 

Bianca shook her head. “You know when I was the house mother I didn’t like the girls to form real relationships with clients. Personally, I know what can go wrong. I met my sons' asshole father here.” She rolled her eyes. “He gave me hell forever when we separated, tried to get my sons taken away claiming I was an unfit mother. Anyway,” she waved a hand trying to dismiss those memories and the risk of repeating a story Bill already knew. “Marcy is with that bogus-looking guy she met here and suddenly she’s gone lax on that rule.” 

“Sounds like you might have to talk to her?” 

“And you too. It doesn’t bother you,” she asked, lifting a brow at him. 

“To a degree but as long as our money keeps coming…” he shrugged but Bianca didn’t seem pleased with that answer. “Sure, I agree with you we can’t start having our high-dollar girls marrying off. If Marcy has a problem just call in the big guns,” he said playfully flexing his biceps. 

“Oh look at you! Fuckin’ dork.” Bianca said, making him laugh. “You are looking nice today though, even wearing color for once.” She said pointing out his ruby-colored button-up. “And the red bottoms.” She noticed his new designer Chelsea boots.

“Ah yeah, Alma bought these for me when she went shopping last time she was here. Nice huh?” He said, rubbing a smudge from the sleek black leather with his thumb.

There was a knock at the door and Theo walked in with Payday just behind him holding a clutch purse. She had put on a short satin red dress with a cowl neck that hung low with nude strappy stilettos. Her long dark hair was curled and styled half up and half down with flirty locks framing her face. The shade of pink lipstick she wore on her full lips complimented her tan skin. As he got up to grab his long black coat he thought about how they would match and if he should change his shirt while Payday asked Bianca if she looked cute. He decided that changing it would make it a bigger deal when there were a lot of people who would be wearing red today. In some ways, Payday’s looks reminded him of Alma so he enjoyed looking at her but not much else beyond that did he find interesting. He asked Payday if she’d like to borrow a jacket since there was still a chill in the February air and was only wearing thin fabric and little of it but she politely declined.

They were mostly silent in Bill’s car on the way to the discrete location of the underground boxing match. Payday was sitting with her legs crossed, her smooth thick thigh facing him on display, and was anxiously fiddling with her long French tip acrylic nails. 

“Are you cold,” Bill asked. 

“No,” she said softly. “Just nervous. I’ve never been to anything like this. And my boyfriend is gonna be up there you know?” She said clasping her hands and settling them into her lap. 

Bill nodded in understanding. “Well as a fair warning, it’s not like anything you’ve seen on pay-per-view. It’s a bare-knuckle fight,” when he glanced at her he noticed her wearily frown. “But I’ve seen Simion fight, he’s good. He hardly gets touched.” He tried to reassure her. “Um, did he get you anything nice today?” He said steering the subject to something else to ease her anxious worrying for a bit. 

“Oh you know, flowers, chocolates, money,” she sighed. “After the fight, we’re staying at a really nice hotel which I’m excited about.”

When Bill asked her where they were staying he just nodded at the mention of the place. It wasn’t what he would call really nice by his standards but fine enough. Then he thought that maybe he was being a bit of a snob about it. He didn’t come from luxury but now he had preferences for things he never imagined there were preferences for. 

“Don’t you have a girl? Did you get her something nice?” 

“Hmm. I try.” He said scratching his mustache. 

“Oh c’mon!” 

“We’re not big gift givers. We mostly like to just be together but she’s living in another state right now. I’m seeing her in a few days.” 

“That should be nice. I briefly saw her when she was at the club a few months ago. She’s very pretty, soft, but kinda tough. It’s sexy.” She said which made Bill smile. “But I can imagine you kinda have to be a bit tough to be with you. You know because of your job and you come off as very mysterious sometimes. Like a bit hard to crack,” Payday lightly laughed. 

Bill chewed on his cheek in thought for a moment. “By ‘a bit hard to crack’ do you mean like standoffish? Dickish?” 

“Hey boss, I said no such thing, you did.” She smirked. 

“It’s a fair observation, I guess.”

“I mean even for me it’s hard to date, not a lot of guys have liked that I dance you know. Takes a specific kind of person who’d be cool with it.” She said finishing a previous thought she had to fill the dead space fearing she may have offended him. 

They fell silent again. Bill had to admit he was private, more so in recent years ever since the situation with Craig. He didn’t need to make any unnecessary waves. Besides that, he had a family to protect as well whom he didn’t need to make targets of his misdeeds. It had happened once and he’d be damned if it ever happened again.

Payday sat in her seat still nervous but now it was because she felt she may have said something wrong. She peered over towards Bill who was taping his steering wheel with his thumb to the beat of a down-tempo alternative rock song softly playing on the radio unbothered as he drove them. That’s when she peeked at a small photo tucked into the car dash control panel of a sleeping baby. Of course, all the dancers talked about him. She’s heard bits of pieces of things that mostly sounded like bullshit to her. She never liked to make assumptions about people because she didn’t like when people did it to her when they learned of her profession. However, the photo did confirm the baby rumor amongst the bullshit ones she’s heard.

“If you weren’t going to this fight and you didn’t have to work tonight, what would you be doing?” Bill asked her as he turned a street corner. He could sense her nervousness after he had quit speaking and was trying not to seem so cold. It hit him then that it sort of felt like a first date with how painful it felt to carry on a conversation. 

“Oh. Um well, I used to rave and go hang with club kids. That’s how I picked up all those little funny games I play with the clients,” she lightly giggled. “But yeah, probably something like that. I bet there are a few on tonight too. Have you ever raved?” 

“I’ve been to a couple when I was a bit younger. My girlfriend liked to go to those mostly. She likes to dance but I’m not so good at it.” He lightly shrugged. “We’re here.” He announced as he swooped into a parking spot. 

Payday looked around. It was just a random city block with a few sketchy warehouses. She saw some people walking down the street but a few she could pluck out by their more tailored threads. They were most likely headed to where they were. 

“It’s still a bit of a walk from here. Will you be okay?” He said with a pointed look at her stiletto heels while he picked up a loose cigarette that lay on top of his dashboard and put it between his lips. 

“It’ll be okay,” she hoped. She could do a lot on the platform heels she wore at work but these were flat to the ground, better for sitting down and looking cute on her French pedicured feet.

Without a warning, Bill reached behind his back and grabbed the handle of his gun. Payday watched him check the slide and pull a lever and then he met her shocked expression, apologetically he laid his gun gently on his lap. It was a lapse in judgment on his part, he navigated alone and the only other girl that had ever been in his Thunderbird was Alma who wouldn’t have been startled by it one bit. Surely, the girls at the club knew he carried a gun but he was in a car in a sketchy area alone with a girl being too casual about a deadly weapon. If this was an actual first date this would have been the moment Payday would have decided that there wouldn’t be a second. That thought amused Bill. 

“Sorry. They don’t allow outside firearms. They check,” he explained with the unlit cigarette still between his lips until he plucked it away. “Do you mind if I reach over to put it in the glovebox in front of you?” 

“It’s cool. I just didn’t expect it.” 

“You don’t mind?” He asked again because she didn’t answer his question. 

“No,” she shook her head. 

She was beginning to wonder what in the world her boyfriend Simion’s fight night got her into tonight. It all seemed so hush-hush and serious now. It seemed like he told her enough but not the details of what underground fighting really was because she imagined it was just some macho guy get-together. Bill reached over and placed his Glock in the glove box. Before he shut and locked it with his key she could have sworn she saw not only a large bottle of Chanel cologne and a pocket knife but also a pair of white sheer panties. That observation quickly left when she noticed the lock of hair that fell out of his slicked hair, his clear skin, and the expensive cologne he wore while he was so close. He was handsome, she loved his big beautiful green eyes that set him apart but she preferred Simion’s muscular brawny build more. Plus, Bill could be a bit stoic whereas Simion was playful. However, she had seen Bill cut up on occasion and how Bianca and him would joke. He just wasn’t someone who’d let people in easily. Almost as if you’d have to prove yourself to be in his inner circle. 

After he opened her door and helped her out after a quick reapplication of gloss. They walked half a block and through a tiny residential alley until they finally reached the back area of a nondescript almost dilapidated-looking warehouse. Bill had his coat collar slightly popped up with a hand inside the pocket as he was smoking his cigarette with the other. A few times he had to pause while Payday caught up to his strides. She wouldn’t even answer a callback from him if this was a first date for doing that, that’s for sure, he thought. 

They stood behind a few other spectators being patted down. Once it was their turn Bill flicked his cigarette away and asked for her purse before he went first. He passed the small clutch to the security guard and he took a glance over at the ID, coin purse, powder case, lipstick, gloss, and the two light blue condoms inside. Bill passed it back behind himself to her and then put his hands up to be patted down. Payday could tell he was thoroughly annoyed by it and saw him muttering something to the security. 

“She’s a lady.” She heard him say in a low tone. “Look at what she’s wearing, what would she have on her.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” the stocky bald security guard said back. 

Bill flashed him a dark steely gaze. “I do.” 

It was then she glanced down and caught Bill palming the security a few one hundred dollar bills and he waved them through without her needing to be subjected to an invasive pat down. 

“Ready,” he asked her with a softer demeanor about him again and then offered his arm for her to grab as a polite gesture.

It was strange to her how he could change his emotions in that way. Almost like a Jekyll and Hyde effect. All she knew was that she never wanted him to look at her in the way he looked at the security guard because she might just piss herself. 

Inside there was commotion coming from everywhere. There were two lean muscular boxers on the makeshift but well-built rings in the center of the warehouse but it seemed not many people were interested in watching. There were people still looking for seats and waiters with drink trays weaving between them. A woman at a coat check offered to take Bill’s coat but he waved off the offer. As they continued through she realized it was a full operation which was here in the night but gone in the day. 

“I need to stop by the bets real quick,” he said leaning down so she could hear him. Even in stilettos, she was short. “Then we can look for seats.” 

She watched him speaking to a bookie placing bets of exorbitant amounts of money. He turned back to look at her over his shoulder and saw her taking everything in. 

“Would you like to bet on a round?” He asked her, trying to make her feel included. “On me,” he said before she could say she had no money to bet with.

“Sure,” she said, deciding to participate especially since it wasn’t her money to waste away. 

“Okay, boxing usually goes ten rounds right? Tonight’s main event only goes to seven,” he explained. “So from one to seven, you can bet on which round there will be a knockout that ends the fight.”

“It’s just a guess?” She asked and Bill nodded. “Hmm. Round six.” 

“Round six,” Bill nodded in approval. It wasn't a bad or good round to choose as long as she didn’t say round one. He would have chosen the fifth round knowing how Simion fought. He turned back to the bookie who asked him if he wanted to do the lower hundred bets and then it jumped to twenty-five hundred or five thousand dollar pots. “What do you think?” He turned to her again.

“Uh,” Payday grinned a bit overwhelmed. “Twenty-five hundred?” That amount of money was a fraction of a fraction of the numbers she had heard him throw out before getting her to play.

“Eh. Maybe a little higher right,” Bill said pointing up. “Something worthwhile.” 

“It’s your money, boss,” she said nervously. He only looked at her, waiting for her to agree. “Hm, five thousand then,” and even that was still a modest number from the ones she’d heard before. “Sixth round,” she said more definitively in her tone.  

Bill grinned. “Now we’re playing.” 

They were held up a bit by the entrance to the boxing ring because Bill had recognized a few men there and was speaking to them. She looked around and quickly grabbed a champagne glass from a passing waiter and downed its contents which earned a glance from Bill but he turned away again with a smirk she mistook for a sneer. She thought maybe that was a bit trashy of her because of the look he gave. But she didn’t know him enough to know he found it funny. As he tried to veer away from the conversation before him he was saved when one of Simion's training crew called his name. He was a young guy named Aaron and Bill had even worked out with him. 

“C’mon, follow me!” He hollered above the crowd and waved them over. 

Bill offered his arm again to Payday as he kept his eyes on the back of Aaron’s blonde head and navigated them through the crowd. The crowd started to become thinner and eventually, they turned a corner. Payday let go of him and walked ahead down the corridor as Bill and Aaron shook hands a few paces behind. She could faintly hear her boyfriend Simion’s voice and followed it.

“Payday,” Bill said, pointing to a makeshift room as she walked ahead. “In here.” 

She turned her head and hastily scurried back and Bill stood behind to let her in first. Simion turned his head in the middle of a pep talk from his trainer and brightly grinned when he spotted her. 

“Simi!” She shouted happily.

“Marina my angel!” He exclaimed with his arms out awaiting her embrace. She leaped up and slammed her body against his before they tongue-kissed. Everyone could see her asscheeks because her skirt rode up and she didn’t even bother to adjust it. 

“Careful! He’s still got the main event coming up,” Mauricio his trainer chided. 

Simion placed her back on her stilettos as she bashfully pulled her skirt hem down. “She is my main event, Mauricio!” He said, kissing her cheek proudly. 

Bill was leaning against a heavy punching bag with his arms crossed when Aaron leaned in towards him. 

“It’s like some kind of fucked up Rocky movie,” he said to him which made him chuckle. 

“Hey, did you get it in,” Bill asked him hushed. 

“Right, right,” Aaron said, grabbing a small gym bag sitting on the dusty floor next to him.

Bill used his broad back and large body to shield his gym friend as he dug in the bag and produced a small Sig Sauer he had snuck into the facilities for him. It was easier for him because as a part of the crew, they weren’t subjected to pat downs the way patrons were. Even if he was a bit weary of leaving one of his guns from him to hold on to, Bill also knew Aaron was young and stupid enough to bring it in as a way to impress him. Bill quickly grabbed it, checking the slide and the safety before tucking it into a custom inner pocket he had tailored into his coat. He thanked Aaron with a pat on his shoulder since he had already paid him for the favor prior. He didn’t trust anyone at these events, everyone was into shady seedy shit and Bill had laid down a lot of money tonight he wasn’t risking not having a piece on him. He was sure he wasn’t the only one who did either.

Aaron backed away when Simion approached them in his blue, yellow, and red designed boxing shorts that were meant as an homage to the Romanian flag. Bill straightened up and they hooked hands before Simion pulled him into an embrace. He pulled him like he weighed nothing which took him aback a bit but he held his ground. His biceps were two – close to three sizes – bigger than his. 

“Thanks for bringing her brother,” he said to him. “She’s my good luck charm!” 

“No problem. I told you I would bring her in one piece tonight,” he said, scratching his neck.

“I managed to get you and her some front-row seats. You know for the trouble.” 

“No trouble at all. And I appreciate it but uh I just like to sit in the back you know.” 

“Low profile I understand. Well, it’s there if you want it, no worries, brother.” He said, patting his arm.

“Thanks. I can take Payday to her seat though.” 

“Such a gentleman. I’d like that.” 

“We need to buckle down Simion,” Maurcio bellowed sternly. “The fight right now is almost over, then we got one more and you’re up.” 

Bill waited outside the room for Payday as she said her goodbyes to Simion but when they emerged at the threshold he caught Simion pulling her dress down to kiss her bare breasts. He looked away. He had seen them countless times, he could even picture them perfectly but it just felt weird to look at them outside the club. 

“I asked you to keep it a surprise,” Payday said to him as she approached. 

Bill began to lead her out the corridor before answering her. “I know.”

“Well?” 

He looked down at her and took a deep breath. “It’s just a stupid guy thing. You’re his girlfriend. I have to respect that and make sure he was cool about me giving you a ride.” He caught her slightly rolling her eyes and he had to keep himself from smirking.

He led her to the seats, really damn good seats. With an open hand, he pointed to her seat like a good usher would and just as he began to walk off she caught the tail of his long coat.

“Are you really just going to leave me all alone?” She said looking up at him a bit upset. 

Bill groaned under his breath and leaned down. “It’s a bit too overexposed for me.” 

“I don’t know anyone here but you and Simion?” She pulled on his coat collar to speak into his ear. “Honestly, I’m a little uncomfortable.” She looked around then and while there were a few women amongst the male majority she was there front and center. She felt overexposed as well. 

Bill side-eyed her and then closed his eyes in thought. If it was Alma he would sit down if she was uncomfortable. However, she wasn’t but as a friend of Simion’s, he decided he would bear it. 

“Fine,” he said begrudgingly. 

He shrugged his coat off and again a waiter in passing asked if he’d like to check his coat and again he declined. As far as he knew his Louis Vuitton coat would just walk out without him and the thief would also now have a new gun. He held it by the collar and then draped it across his lap as he finally sat down. 

“Thank you,” she said, nudging him. 

“Yup,” he sighed indignantly. “Can I ask you something? Is it alright if I call you Marina here?” 

“You can call me whatever you like boss,” she smiled politely and batted her silver shadowed eyes at him. It was maybe even a little flirtatious if he wanted to look at it that way. Suddenly this faux date had turned into an escort service by that response. And by how she was dressed it probably did look like that outwardly.

“No like seriously. You don’t have to call me Boss either we're not at work.” He didn’t mind the girls calling him boss but he always wondered when that even started. They used either his name or boss interchangeably but one day it was just boss only. 

“So you want me to call you, Bill?” She asked cautiously. 

“You could have always called me Bill,” he said, slightly irritated. “So can I call you Marina? Of course, at work, I wouldn’t obviously.”

“Marina is fine... But I usually go by Mari’.” 

Bill bit his lip and looked away to keep the frustrated laugh from escaping past his lips. “Okay, Mari’ then.” If he had this exact conversation with Alma he would have sworn she was fucking with him just to start an argument. Unfortunately, it seemed like this was just how Mari was. 

And now he just missed Alma all over again. Keeping busy always helped but it being Valentine's just exasperated all his feelings for her because she just wasn’t there. Did he agree to this because it was the closest thing to Alma? Though they were similar in looks he couldn’t keep himself from finding all the things she lacked. What started as a polite favor he now began to wonder if he was just so damn lonely his subconscious planned all of this. 

A waiter stopped by them and he quickly ordered a glass of top-shelf bourbon, for Mari Dom Perignon after discovering that’s what she stole off the tray when he asked the waiter what champagne was being served.

“You’re expensive,” he smugly joked. 

Their drinks arrived as soon as the second-to-last fight started. He told the waiter to keep the drinks coming until he said when. Bill had bet on this fight and Simion’s so he was interested to see how it would go. He bet that the Irish fighter would win since he hadn’t had a single loss on his record and expected the streak to continue. The first round had the crowd in the warehouse roaring as the Irish fighter put in some work on the other off the bat. Bill finished the rest of his Bourbon and an attentive waiter swooped by to grab his empty glass. Resting his elbows on his knees and wringing his hands together he watched the second round start and it began the way the first went. Until after the last-minute mark when the Irish fighter ducked a punch the other boxer clipped him with a left hook stunning him and leaving his guard down enough that another punch hit him square in the face. His knees buckled from under him and like a dead weight, he fell forward straight on the boxing mat. The crowd's roars were deafening, some patrons shot out of their seats in disbelief. The referee counted down and it was over. 

“FUCK!” Bill yelled and his face fell into his hand. “Fuck me,” he whined. 

Bill sat back in his seat, shaking his head with furrowed brows. Marina glanced at him remorsefully; she knew he bet on the Irish fighter to win and he went down unexpectedly quick. Money gone, just like that. The waiter came with drinks and she watched him shoot it down like a shot and put it back on the drink tray. She was worried about saying anything because of how upset he looked, twisting around his blue gem pinky ring. The winning team finally got out of the ring after congratulating the underdog and Bill sighed loudly in resignation. 

“Well shit,” he said, turning to Marina now. “I wasn’t expecting that.” 

“That was… crazy. I heard you bet on Simion too,” she said cautiously. 

“I did,” he nodded. “Hopefully he wins it all back for me.” He had more at stake in Simion’s fight and he was silently praying to whatever powers that be. 

The ring was being swept off and prepared as Simion was the main event. It was quiet between the two while they waited until Marina spoke up. 

“Bo-Bill,” she said to gain his attention. “If you weren’t here tonight what would you be doing on Valentine's Day instead?” She was reframing the question he had made up to ease her earlier in the evening. 

Bill smiled and turned his body so that it was more open to her now. “Hm. Not sure.” 

“Would your girlfriend like to come to something like this?” She asked after taking a sip of the champagne she’d been nursing.

“Probably. But I wouldn’t bring her here for Valentine’s,” he lightly chuckled. “We’d go out to eat, and stay in a nice hotel suite,” he paused, deciding how much he wanted to tell her. “Uh, I like to buy her dresses so she’d be out with me wearing what I bought her.” 

“Aw, that’s so cute! And you say you’re not a good gift giver?” She said playfully tapping his arm.

“I mean I told you I try,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. “But the dresses are more for my indulgence.” 

“Can I ask a question,” she said softly to which Bill nodded as a reply. “I saw that picture on the dash, whose pretty baby is that?” 

Bill looked away a second and looked back at her with a tight smile rubbing the stubble on his chin with his knuckles. He barely gave her an inch and she just went the whole mile. He was worried about this. 

“You’re only asking that because I think you already know,” he said to her, seeing through her disingenuous questioning. “I know you girls talk about me in the dressing rooms. Was it Bambi?” He knew when he saw Bambi at Bianca’s Christmas party that she’d be the one to leak that information around whether intentionally or not. He was surprised to even see her there at all as Bianca liked to keep a tight group as well but it was her home he had no say on her guests. 

Marina hated feeling caught, she knew better. She responded to him remorsefully nodding her head. “I’m sorry, Bill. That was ugly of me.” 

“It’s not your fault for being curious, Mari. I know I’m a cryptic fuck it doesn’t help when it comes to speculation,” he set his drink on the floor and crossed his arms sitting back in his seat. “To answer your question, yeah that’s my pretty little baby,” he smiled and that eased her enough to smile also. “It’s not like some huge secret exactly. I just… want to keep her separate from business, you know? I’m also guilty of being possessive. So when it comes to my daughter-” 

“Out of bounds,” Marina said understandingly.

“Exactly,” Bill nodded. “Out of bounds, that works,” he said because he was going to originally say that it was nobody's fucking business. This was less crass.

“So I’m guessing you wouldn’t even tell me her name then.”

That made Bill lightly chortled because she was still trying to pry. “Yeah, no I won’t be. I won’t even entertain a guess.” 

“Fair. I can respect that.”

“Thank you.” He said with an appreciative nod.  

“Picturing you with a little daughter looks so sweet. You probably wouldn’t like to hear it but it takes a little edge off you knowing that now.” 

“Sorry for breaking that facade tonight,” Bill joked. 

“The way you’ve behaved tonight towards me, well except for walking ahead of me earlier,” she pointed out to which he quickly threw in a sorry. “Maybe you’re possessive I guess but you’re protective. I can tell you’re a good dad because you light up talking about her. I wish my dad did when he talks about me.” 

Bill bashfully looked at his lap twisting the pinky ring that honored his daughter and smiled to himself. “Ah, that’s sweet of you to say, Mari.” He couldn’t ever say that he was a good dad or not exactly; he didn't feel like he had spent enough time with Echo to gauge that. Even with the reassurance from Alma that his daughter loved him and that he was a good dad, he felt like she had to say that as his partner. Hearing it from a near stranger felt nice though it made him feel good about himself. 

“So back to my question before since I know what I know now. If you weren’t here tonight. Good food and hotel still?” 

“She’d tag along with us. She’s still little,” he said, putting his hand out a few feet from the floor indicating her height. “Alma, my girlfriend, always likes to call her a fancy girl when we’re doing something particularly gaudy,” he laughed. “But yeah she’s fancy, she's got a lot more at her disposal than we ever had. That’s for sure.” 

The announcer finally introduced the main event of the night. While Bill tried his best to keep his conversations with Marina dreadfully shallow he now kind of appreciated where their night’s conversation went. It was nice to think and talk about the girls he loved so much with someone else besides Bianca. He was sure he bored her with it sometimes. Now he had to focus, he had money to win. 

After the announcer introduced the referee and the other main event boxer, Simion walked to the center of the ring lightly jogging in place and jutting out punches which made the crowd cheer. 

“And in the blue, yellow, and red shorts, SIMION ‘THE DRAGON’ DALCA!!! Let the Bloody Valentine’s Fight begin!” 

Marina jumped from her seat and cheered her boyfriend while Bill only stood up and clapped next to her. Simion spotted her and she began to blow kisses at him. They sat down as the first fight round went on with only a few jabs from both fighters sizing each other up. From the corner of Bill’s eye, he saw some latecomers to the fight shuffling to their front-row seats just on the other side of the ring. There was a classically beautiful woman who caught his eye first, her honey-blonde hair was in a perfect French roll and she was wearing a brown mink fur coat and white gloves. She looked suitably dressed for a symphony, not some dusty underground boxing fight. 

That was until someone stepped aside revealing Joey Russo right beside her. He was dressed in a nicely tailored three piece suit with a rose boutonniere attached to the lapel. He briefly watched as Joey helped the woman take her mink off and handed it off to who looked like personal security. He looked away and took a deep breath through his nose holding the air in his puffed-up chest and let it back out slowly. He and Joey Russo had bumped into each other here and there and were fine with each other but it didn’t mean he liked it when it happened. He’d much prefer if he never saw him ever again but such is life. In the days when everything could seem so trivial suddenly he is hit with too much in a day all at once. 

He put all his focus on the fight only pausing a moment to roll up the sleeves of his button up. Though the way the day kept throwing curveballs he was deeply worried. Simion had been putting up a good fight throwing blows that would buckle five men but his opponent was just taking it. Their bare knuckles were bloodied and raw. Simion’s nose was busted open in the fourth round and began to run crimson down his chin and trickled to his sweaty chest just as he did to his opponent in the third. Marina screamed when that happened and involuntarily clutched Bill’s arm. He patted her hand lightly not to remove it but so that she could let off a little as her long nails were digging into his skin. Near the end of the fifth round, Bill’s heart began to thump hard in his chest, adrenaline coursing through him. He reached down for his bourbon and finished it. The alcohol wasn’t going to save him though he was too pent up with anxious energy. 

As the boxers fought on the ropes of the ring where Joey Russo sat, he locked eyes with him. They gave each other a nod of acknowledgment and turned their focus back on the fight. Just before the end of the fifth round, Simion threw a medley of body jabs and he cheered appreciatively. 

“Yeah!” He caught himself shouting. 

He looked toward Marina and could see that she was tearing up. He would hold her hand but he wasn’t going to she wasn’t his but he’d allow her to grip onto his forearm like she had been doing even forgetting about her nails digging in. Once the sixth round started Simion took a bad blow that split his eyebrow which made him curse under his breath but then he felt Marina bury her face in the crook of his arm openly sobbing on him. He moved his arm as he tried to pay attention and awkwardly patted her back. Alma hardly sobbed like this. Usually, a few tears would run and she’d fiercely wipe them away and then she’d become annoyed by them rather than sad. In fact, he could only count the few times she did sob in front of him on his hand. She preferred to cry alone and didn’t want him around until she was finished. Didn’t seem so healthy thinking of it now. 

“C’mon,” he nudged her to right herself. “It’ll be ok-”

Just as he spoke then it was as if a fire erupted out of Simion who was once lagging from his tough contender's jabs. They were sparing off blow for blow. Until like a fury Simion hit him one after the other. From their front-row seats, Bill could hear the hard blows and the sweat spraying off their bodies as the punches connected one after the other. With one final uppercut Simion knocked out his opponent. Lights out. 

The crowd went absolutely crazy. Bill even jumped from his seat cheering and pumping a fist in the air, he won too. He won big tonight. 

“Holy fuck!” Bill said, running his hand through his hair as his main stressor lifted from his shoulders. “God damn it,” he shook his head in disbelief. “Simion fucking did it.” He said, turning to Marina who was now crying happily. 

With his coat in his hand, he quickly put it on and grabbed Marina's wrist. He needed to leave before the crowd rushed and blocked him in. The training crew lifted Simion on their shoulders celebrating his win as they left the ringside. Aaron was watching from the entrance of the corridor, he was in charge of watching the locker room that held the crew's items. He was glad for that because at least it was someone he could leave Marina with while everyone else was still celebrating in the ring. 

“I’ll leave you with Aaron over there if that’s okay. But we need to see the bookie first.” 

He was right up after a few other guys who’d collected smaller wins. Luckily a lot of the crowd were still cheering or arguing with each other over the results of the fight. First, he collected the five thousand dollars for the sixth-round knockout. The bookie wrapped the bundle of cash in butcher's paper and slid it over. Bill put it under his arm while he arranged the dealings of his earnings of the night. The five thousand was only his part of the pot, he had won much more from it. With Simion’s win and the pot earnings, he couldn’t take that amount of cash home tonight so he and the bookie arranged for it to be delivered to Trigger Finger. The bookie even offered collateral on his part to ensure he’d get the money. Bill knew this bookie to be respected and good on his word so he accepted. By tomorrow at 9 am he’d be waiting with security for the delivery at the club. 

He turned on his heel and while he was happy as hell he kept a cool poker face. He took the 5k out from under his arm and handed it to Marina and she looked at him shocked. 

“No, Bill. That’s your money I can’t,” she said, pushing his hand back. 

“You picked the round, you were right. Fuck, you really are his good luck charm,” he laughed.

“No…” she said, looking up at him shaking her head. “No.” 

“I won’t accept that,” he said, pushing his hand forward and placing the money on her chest forcing her to take hold of it.

She grabbed it and looked shocked. “This is crazy shit Boss,” she laughed. “Thank you.” She hugged him tightly. 

“After tonight uh I hope we’ve come to an understanding about what has been said?” He said, giving her a pointed look. 

 “You got it.” Marina nodded. “You didn’t say shit to me on the car ride and you sat in a corner all night by yourself,” she winked. 

“Thanks,” he said appreciatively. “See you at work, Mari.” Though he couldn’t be certain she would keep mum about their time tonight he hoped the money would be a good enough incentive to. 

After paying his drink tab he reached in his coat pocket for his pack of smokes as he headed out into the night. Walking with a few other guests as he reached the street. As he went on to get into his car on the other end of the block he saw a limousine parked at the corner. That’s when his path intersected with Joey Russo’s. He was trying to avoid him and for a moment he felt that he had gotten away. He was helping the well-put-together woman into the limo and saw her flash a cold glance with her ice blue eyes at Joey just as he turned to him.

“Ay, Bill!” Joey said delighted to have gotten to run into him.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath and then stomped his cigarette out. He looked at him with a tense smile then. “Joey,” he said with a curt nod. 

“What a fight right?” He said just as the woman inside the limo irritatedly asked him to shut the door complaining that she was cold and telling him to hurry up. “Hm. My wife Carmen,” he wryly smiled. “She’s not so happy that I kinda lied about our plans tonight,” he said lightly chuckling and taking a glance at Bill’s left hand to see if he had a gold band like his own but it was in his pocket while his other was around the handle of his gun. He was trying to find details he may not know about him already. “Do you happen to have another smoke, she can wait.” He said dismissively waving at the limo. 

“I do but I’m kinda in a rush?” He said scratching his neck revealing his bare ring finger to Joey. 

“I won’t hold you up too long.” He said grabbing the cigarette Bill held out for him he even offered his lighter but Joey had his own. “So it’s been a while. How have you been, huh?” 

“Business is still good,” he replied curtly. While he wasn’t asked that, that was all he was offering him feeling no need to speak about himself. 

“Same here. You know after Batter passed finally the old guards backed the fuck off. Buncha old school fucks you know?” He said, giving Bill a knowing look. 

“Mhmm,” he said, straightening his back.

“But that’s long done,” he said, taking a puff of his cig. “It’s the people like us that keep it fresh. There’s no time for old stubborn fools like that. Shit is changing so fast these days you gotta be on top of it or you get left behind.” He looked over at Bill who looked completely disinterested and just wanted to leave. “You rushing back to your girlfriend tonight? Alma?” 

Bill lightly cleared his throat, he didn’t particularly like that he even mentioned her. “Sure,” he said with a shrug as he looked down at him. It seemed to him that he had no idea she lived out of state which pleased him. Had Joey known he would have mentioned it, he liked revealing things he knew to get under people's skin. 

“I saw you sitting with that girl… almost thought it was her at first glance. One of your dancers, maybe?”

“The Dragon’s girlfriend.” He was slightly getting irritated the longer this conversation went on. Joey just wanted to hear himself talk because, during their other run-ins with each other, their banter went the same as tonight. Where Bill said little and Joey just spoke a whole lot of nothing hoping that by saying more he’d get more but it never happened with Bill.

“Ah, nice. Not bad,” he said, nodding his head. He was becoming bored too. There was nothing new with Bill. He liked to keep tabs on most people he’s dealt with but Bill was low on his roster. Just some punk kid who did his family a favor once. He wasn’t an enemy. “Anyway, it was good to see you. I know you’re not very keen on me but like I said that was old-guard shit. Though I have to say there’s no room for people like… well, you know.” He said, stomping out his cigarette. 

“Mm. I don’t think so,” Bill said, scratching his brow. 

“Right.” Joey chuckled. “See you around, Bill.” 

Bill walked slowly to his car after the limousine pulled away. He kept a hold of his gun and soon he was finally alone again. He walked around his car looking through the windows before getting in. He locked the doors, sat his gun on his lap with the safety off, and waited a bit cautiously looking through his rear and side view mirrors. When he felt safe enough he pulled away from the curb onto the New York City streets where he drove at cruising speed as he headed home. 

“Just three more days,” he thought to himself, glancing at the photo of his daughter on his dash panel.

[pinksirensong]

CHRISTMAS LOVE

LOVE OF THE ENDLESS COLLECTION

dedicated to @ellooo0ooo ❤️

7 days until Christmas

Christmas was by far the favorite holiday from the waking world of Love of the Endless. Valentine's day was about love, but she always thought it was more of Desire's thing than hers, lust almost always winning from love, but Christmas was the time for joy, family and love, all things the oldest Endless cared about. The movies on this season were also her favorite, even if it was rare to be able to see it, but when it happened it did inspire her.

This year she was more than inspired to help love, not only because of the things at the waking world, but also because for the first time in forever she was truly happy. This year Y/N had Morpheus by her side and not in the sister way or the warm your bed for the night way too, he was hers as much as she was his and that was a reason to celebrate love.

Her target, in the most lovely way, were two young people. The girl was shy and very introvert, had a few friends and a lovely family, but it was hard for her to connect with other people beside them. The boy wasn't exactly like that, he was reserved but not because he had any issues in talking with people, he could socialize with anyone, but only his friends could get him. The hardest thing for Y/N was to find how to make them meet...it all started and ended with a red book in a library. Dash & Lily's Book of Dares.

5 days until Christmas

It was fun to see and help young love, at least the beginning of it. She gave the push, the rest was up to them. Maybe she would change his mind about Christmas, a date she loved and he despised and maybe he would help her get out of her shell. Something would happen, if not now then later, the thread was there and it was one of the strong one.

"My twin, I stand in my gallery holding your sigil. I ask your permission to visit your realm."

"You are always welcome at my garden, twin." Destiny's voice echoed through her gallery. A moment later Y/N was no longer in Akai Ito but at his Garden.

"Hello, Des. How delightful it's to see you and smell this beautiful roses!"

"Is that why you are here?" rarely the Endless family would visit Destiny, only for their family reunion.

"You are my beloved twin and it's almost Christmas. I always get too sentimental when it's close, you know that."

"Yes, if I am not mistaken last year you cried when that child saw that Santa Claus man for the first time."

“It was a very cute scene, but you know why exactly I am here. It’s already in your book, I’m sure, but we’re twins and you are my favorite brother.” as twins, even if being an Endless, they had a strong bond and they shared everything about their lives with each other…mostly Love did since Destiny had no life outside his realm.

“Indeed, I do.”

“It’s a little bit boring that you know everything. Can’t you pretend not to know?”

“I could certainly try. For you, of course.”

“Keep that thought for next time, alright?”

“Is there going to be a next time?”

“Oh, you know how tricky fare can be, dear twin.” another wouldn’t notice the little smile on his face, but Y/N knew him too well to miss it. The rest of their day was spent just talking about the news in Love’s life and some insight in Dream's life too.

3 days until Christmas

"Akai Ito is looking more festive than the Dreaming and it's only me and my doves there. What a shame, Dream of the Endless." she was sitting on his throne waiting for him to finish whatever problem he had to deal with.

"There is no reason for it. They are allowed to dream of this holiday if it is their wish." the place was in fact without any decoration, it was like any other day. "Surely you know it is impolite to sit on another's monarch throne."

"Well, it's not comfortable like mine so I guess you should make up to me for all this time I've spent here waiting for you." Y/N pouted at her lover and he couldn't hold back his smile at the sight.

"Perhaps you are right, my love. I should not have neglected you for such a long time." Love stood up and walked towards him and put her arms around him. "How could I ever repay such a mistake?"

"Oh, I would very much enjoy going to your chambers so you could…repay me for your lack of attention." their lips were almost touching when she said that. "Unfortunately I must go back to my realm soon, there is much to do and so little my doves can help with."

"Or you could not entertain this idea of Christmas and stay here with me." Morpheus pulled Y/N closer so he could kiss her, but she stopped him using her hand.

"It's tradition. For a few hours my beautiful doves can go back to their mortal form and enjoy their holiday. It's my power that allows that, as I have already told you many times, my dream."

"And yet I still find it not necessary."

"You take care of your realm's affairs and I will do the same with mine. I don't wish to spend our little time together fighting over our duties. Wouldn't you rather be kissing me?" Dream didn't answer her with words, but with action. While they were kissing, lord of the Dreaming couldn't help but think that he wanted for it to be their affairs from both realms, he wished to make her his queen and also be her king. The Dreaming and Akai Ito would work together perfectly, dreams and love were often tied to one another.

Every time he thought it was the perfect time something would just happen and stop him, it was getting frustrating, but before their next reunion with the rest of the Endless he would've already proposed to Love. They lost too much time, mostly because of him and his stubbornness, but after everything they were still together and in love. Nothing could break them apart now.

Christmas Eve

.

Their celebration never happened inside, not even when Love had only one dove. No, it was always outside her castle where the flowers always bloom beautifully and there was also a big fountain. It was all decorated and there was even a Christmas tree with some ornaments chosen by the other residents of Akai Ito.

"Did you do it?" Flávia's form came closer to where she was. Y/N was watching as Kyra and Paloma were dancing around the fountain. The ceremony had already started, until the sum came up they would be at their mortal's form. It always amazed the Endless to see them like this, they were all beautiful and even more when happy like today.

"Kind of. Left a gift before coming back."

"A gift?"

"Well, where would be the fun in telling him?" Y/N knew her lover and if she was correct he would soon call her through her sigil. Morpheus couldn't be mad at her, it's not he was the last to know about it. Sure, Destiny knew about it and so did all of her doves and perhaps she told Lucienne as well, but that was all. He was one of the last to know.

As always Love was right, when the clock struck midnight at the waking world Dream of the Endless went to his chambers, trying to avoid all the Christmas' dreams that made him miss his love so much. When he arrived there was the gift left by Y/N on the top of his bed, it wasn't hard to know it was hers since he knew her as well as she knew him.

A minute after midnight Morpheus was running towards his gallery, holding close to his heart a onesie saying "little princess on her way".

.

.

tag list: @the-ruler-of-death @mrs-captainsteverogers @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @igotanidea @intothesoul @hedwigprewett12 @queenshelby @mattmurdockmylove @boofy1998 @andieperrie18 @formenis @violet-19999 @pancake2603 @aurorarevenclaw1927 @dothrckis @libra207 @mypsychoticlove

[alvisthefox]

Alvis fact: type of person

Al is pragmatic to things.

So sonic is working undercover for eggman for a reason. He would not instantly thing "Sonic is bad now" he would think of the situation.

He in a race undercover where the reward for winning could be bad if the wrong people win? Then both sides (Sonic and Eggman) grudgingly work togther if means for a better outcome.

Al would then sneak up and in secluded place and ask questions like "soooo, reasons?" And would take time to understand his point of view. And previously worked for Eggman. He could make a good guess his reasons also.

Almost making a plan to save sonics reputation if found out (yes new idw comic and stuff. Haven't read yet. More taking guess on what's going on in it)

Al is also playful even to people who hate him. G.U.N do not like. Or should say. Trust him after his 2 years as 113 (2 years publicly known, he was around in the metal virus and stuff but that's a kept inside trauma for him)

Al gets tailed alot by undercover G.U.N agents. Due to his heightened sensors he finds them easily and without looking he can point them out and then teloport them to him. He dosnt threaten them, he just makes it very clear he knows they are there

(LORE) when 18 he works for gun for 3 years being under controle to make up for being 113. This ends up being good as he puts his own machines and programs into production earning money. Aircrafts, land vehicle, boats, land walkers, robots/drones and weapons

Al is very not romantically and very little sexually interested so these types of moves towards him are returned with "cool anyway look at this new gun I made!" Or stright up "Yeah no don't try later or again. K?" (Gay, Gray-AroAce)((aromantic, demisexual)) he would have to very very very clease to someone to even think about any type of relationship. He's very platonic tho. Would happily shear a bed and cuddle

Al flinches easily to any hand raised to him, and if he's not doing well you can see the fear of God in his eyes for a split second. Funny for someone who can't die from any injuries or thing. (Maybe for a minit for hour if it's bad) he is big scerd baby

Al isn't the type for things about him. He dose have some self hate. In the AU when he gets a home with Tails and Sonic he kept his birthday secrate. Tried but Sonic puppy eyed Al and he buckled (07 November) and in this it was 4 days after it making Al 13 at this point and he was like "WE MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY?!" and Al was not botherd at all, after all his past was very him being neglected and abused.

Same gose for Christmas, Easter, Valentines (past fact of being Gray-AroAce. Obsuly it isn't his jam)

Al has a deep hate for his mother. For first 5 years used him just to get pitty. All she did to make him shut up was get him Tails the fox Merch as Al as a child was a huge fan. Al even ran up and stuff but that day was also his worst as he was later traded to Eggmans.

[studywgabi]

18th Birthday

I've been thinking that maybe I should just do it. All of it. Cheat on cappucinos, have a torrid affair with herbal tea. Exercise. Even 45-step skincare routines. Journal. "Practice gratitude." (Good God). Even if just to cross it off my list.

But I've never been that kind of person. Health is performative and foreign to me. It's almost frightening. I've always been too busy drowning to bother with trying to swim. I wouldn't even know how to go about being alive in a way that makes sense. But I am moving out soon (but not soon enough), so if there's a time to do it, it's now.

I mock health because I'm envious. I want to be a real person, but it's easier to romanticize pain by calling it being adorably messy or a work-in-progress. It's all I've ever known. I hate who I am.

Makeup isn't fun for me. Skincare isn't fun. Everything showers aren't my idea of a good time, or something I do to relax, or "me time." Trying to transform what has always been horrifically ugly into something passably presentable is work, yet another exhausting task to add to my never-ending to-do list. But besides all the expensive products and pressure, I need to start actually cooking real adult meals. I need to be less pathetic. I need to be kinder. I need to be honest. I need to read more. I need to watch more movies. I need to pet my dog more and spend more time with my parents and write more. I need to learn how to take care of myself.

But at this point, I'm not worth the effort. I just can't justify the work. I'm 18 and all of the stupid things old people tell me won't matter in a few years are my current lived, endured reality. Knowing I'll have different (probably worse) issues that even older people will belittle in a few years doesn't help me right now.

Yes, I care about silly high school milestones. I'm not going to be valedictorian. I failed and dropped several classes. I wasn't student body president. I've spent my whole life here and I'm so terrified I'll die here. I went to a regular public high school in Bumfuck, WA and I'm going to a public, in-state (of course) university (in an even smaller town) with a 98% acceptance rate, to major in something I don't believe in, I'm not interested in, and that will get me 28,000 a year. I'm not exceptional, or interesting, or good in any way. I have no talents; I've spent the past four years rotting in my bedroom with foil over the windows. And I'm not happy. School is my whole life; I don't have anything else going on. My main thrill in life is doing laundry. I'm not going to homecoming. I'm not going to prom. I'm still a virgin. I never drank. I never went to a party. I didn't use my time in high school wisely, nor did I have any fun. Sure, things could get better from now on. But my experiences up until this point are set in stone. I've aged out of so much. I've missed summer@brown. I've missed Washington Week. I've missed the national merit scholarship. I've missed friends. Boyfriends. I have nothing to show for my childhood. I don't know how to move on. I don't know how to get over what I lost. God, I hate how fucking whiny I sound complaining about nothing.

I guess I wish my parents wanted more for me, pushed me harder. I love them, but I can't condone their complete complacency. They're not disappointed in what I've become at all. They're so completely okay with my failure. I love them, but they don't hate me enough and that kills me.

I thought it fitting this post should be so fucking late. My birthday is January 30. I wish it was in August, so I could always be the youngest in my class (disgusting). It's just it all piles on together. Thanksgiving (freshman fifteen), fall quarter finals, Christmas, New Year's (and it's dreaded resolutions), birthday (an old biddy with cataracts and arthritis), and then, the cherry on top, fucking Valentine's Day.

God, I hate this girl. She's so annoying and stupid and pathetic. She talks about herself in the third person. It's because I want to distance myself as much as possible. Be not here and not this.

I want to be a teenage girl, just like everybody else. But I'm more of a middle-aged alcoholic man. I don't think being a mentally stable adult is in the cards for me, but I think it can get better than this. I hope it can.

Mmm. I'm getting notes of dirt and gasoline from this tea. Yummy. Cheers, darlings! Here's to being less shitty.

[lovemesomesurveys]

What Happened In the Past Year??? How many relationships were you in? Zero. I haven’t been talking to someone, nor am I even interested in someone. It feels like so long since I’ve had any of that. I mean, it has actually been like 6 years. What may seem like not that long ago feels like another life to me.  What did you do for Valentine's day? Absolutely nothing.  Did you recieve your driver's license? No.  Did you graduate high school? I graduated ages ago back in 2008, ha. I feel so olddd.

Did you graduate college? Not this year, no. I got my degree back 2015. 

Did you move out on your own? No. Did you get arrested? No. Never have been. Did you get a speeding ticket? No. I don’t even drive.  What was the best thing you got for Christmas? Christmas is still a couple weeks away. Did you fall in love? No. Did you become an aunt or an uncle? No.  Did you have a baby? Nooo. Did you get engaged? No. Did you get married? No. Remember how I said there’s not even someone I’m talking to or interested in? Did someone close to you die? No, but there’s been several celebrities who have passed away this year that kind of hit me.  How many funerals did you go to? Zero.  How many weddings? Zero.  Did you turn 18? Ha, no. I turned 18 alllll the way back in 2007.  Did you turn 21? Nope, that happened in 2010.  Did you turn 30? No. I turned 33 this year.  Did you have a car accident? No. Were you old enough to vote this year? Yes. I’ve been able to vote for quite some time.  How many jobs did you have throughout the year? Zero.  Did you get a new pet? No. Did you get cheated on? No. Did you cheat on someone? No. I’ve been singleeeee.  Did you start at a new school? No. Did you make any new friends? No. Did you get a new car? No. I don’t even drive, remember? Did you drastically change your hairstyle? No, I did that last year.  Did you go out of the country? No. Did you keep your last New Year's resolution? I stopped making those a long time ago.  What was the best movie you saw in theaters? The last movie I saw in theaters, which was Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.  What was the best book you read? I’ve been reading a few series the past few years and I really enjoy them all.  What was your greatest accomplishment? Surviving... What was the best cd released this year? I haven’t bought a CD in several years. I think the last time was like mid 2000s.  Did you get a new tattoo? No. I don’t have any tattoos.  A new piercing? No. Are you still dating the same person you dated at the start of the year? Sigh. The Lasts of the Past How old were you on your last birthday? I turned 33.  Who was your last kiss? Joseph, back in like 2013.  Who was the last person to tell you "I love you"? My mom. Who was the last person you spoke to in person? My mom. Who was your last missed call? A potential spam call.  Who was your last phone call to? My pharmacy.  What was the last movie you watched? The Santa Clause 3.  The last song you heard? I don’t remember at the moment. I have had Goo Goo Muck by The Cramps stuck in my head for days, though.  The last book you read? I’m currently reading, The Girl and the Twisted End by AJ Rivers.  The last place you went? My doctor appointment last week.  The last time you cut your hair? June of last year.  The color of the last shirt your wore? Black. The last person you hugged? My mom. The last thing you bought? Christmas presents.  The last time you went to the doctor? Last week. The last time you went swimming? Back in 2013.  The last game you played? Some trivia game.  The last person's house you went to? My aunt’s.  The last un-related guy you hung out with? That would have been Ty, back in 2016.  The last un-related girl you hung out with? A former friend that same year.  The last family member you hung out with? My mom. The last movie you saw in theaters? I answered this already.  The last time you went to Walmart? Sometime at the beginning of the year.  The last time you went to Burger King? I don’t remember. It’s been at least over a year.  The last time you went on vacation? Back in March.  The last restaurant you went to? One of the restaurants in the town we were vacationing at.  The last thing you ate? A Reese’s.  The last thing you drank? Coffee. The Firsts of the New Year Who was the first person you kissed? I didn’t kiss anyone.  Who was the first person you told "I love you" to? My mom.  Who was the first person you spoke to? My mom.  Who was your first phone call to/from? *shrug* Probably my mom.  Where was the first place you went? Probably a doctor appointment.  What was the first thing you bought? Food, most likely.  Who was the first person to wish you "Happy New Year!"? My mom.  What was the first thing you ate? I don’t recall. The first thing you drank? Coffee.  What color was the first shirt you wore? I don’t recall.  What were the first shoes you wore? My Adidas.  What was the first electronic (not computer or cell) device you used? The TV.  What was the first movie you watched? I don’t recall.  What was the first song you heard? It would have been something preformed on one of the NYE shows.  Who was the first girl you hung out with? My mom. Who was the first guy? My brother.  The first relative? Well, my mom. What was the first thing you did when it became the new year? Said, “Happy New Year” and then went about my night.  What the Future Year Has In Store What are you most looking forward to in the New Year? I really pray for continued and significant healing and having some sense of my normalcy back. I’d like to not have to be basically totally dependent on others and not stuck in bed majority of the time. I want to be able to just go the store again if I feel like it and go to the movies. I’d love to be able to travel again. This year has robbed so much from me. Almost my life.  Are you getting married this year? Noooo. Are you expecting a child? Noooo. Will you be getting a new job? No. I don’t have a job to begin with.  Will you be starting a new school? No, I’m done with school.  Will you be moving to a new place? I doubt it, but my family and I would really like to be able to.  Will you get your driver's license this year? No. Will you turn 18? I’m not answering these anymore, I’m 33 okay.  Will you turn 21? Will you turn 25? Will you turn 30? Will you turn 40? Are you going on a vacation this year? This year is almost over, but no I’m definitely not going anywhere. :( What movie are you most looking forward to coming out this year? I don’t think there’s one I’m looking forward to at the end of the year, but there’s several coming out next year I’m excited about.  What book? More books in the different series I’ve been reading.  What music albumn? None. Do you expect to find love this year? I didn’t this year and I don’t see that happening in 2023 either.  Did you make a New Year's resolution? I don’t make those anymore.  Have you kept it so far? -- Will you be going to a wedding this year? No. Will you get a new car? .... Will you buy a house this year? Ha, no. I freakin’ wish.  Do you expect to be with the same person at the end of the year? -- Are you starting the year off single? Yes.  What do you most want to happen this year? I already talked about my hopes for the new year. As this year comes to a close, I hope I head into the new year on a good start.  What are you most excited about this year? I’m looking forward to give my family their Christmas presents.