#so yeah. abused kids don't sass at their abuser like that

[little-meowyao]

Hi,

JIN LING IS NOT HOW AN ABUSED CHILD BEHAVES. He sasses at JC and he KNOWS he's all bark no bite. The instances of JC hitting JL in canon are EXCEPTIONAL. If JC hit JL regularly, he would NOT have said "Not even my uncle hits me!" at WWX. That shit STICKS. You are all stupid

[ihopesocomic]

Do you think bullying is considered a type of abuse? Does "bully redemption" trope can also be considered a abuser redemption? I can't like this kind of narrative at all. Not even "A Silent Voice " could convince me.

The thing is with bullying is that it is often committed by children and the overreaching fact is that hardly any adult is going to look back on their actions as a child/young adult and say yes, that totally was not cringe of me. This further compounded by the person's home life and/or if they're dealing with personal issues.

I was a pretty huge asshole as a kid and it's not like I mellowed out the moment I hit 18 either. I was dealing with a lot of stuff (i.e. such as undiagnosed autism/schizophrenia and psychologists refusing to take me seriously) and I dealt with it in a shitty manner by being this "edgy badass" online and just getting into online fights whenever I can because being deemed intimidating and scary online made up for the fact I was an insecure outcast offline.

I truly regret how I conducted myself back then. Regardless of what I was going through, nobody deserved to have to deal with me lashing out at them. It was also just embarrassing behaviour to boot.

But I do think bullying can certainly be counted as abuse and it certainly begets abusive tendencies (points to self, who was bullied throughout elementary and high school). But in that vain, I feel people respond to depictions of it in a manner that isn't exactly constructive and is borderline abusive itself, like the desire to outright commit assault or murder on said bully being depicted. lol

Because I also feel this question is also in reference to Rose and her behaviour and while I can't give much away on how we're going to handle her arc, I feel like people demanding she dies or whatever is just... Yeah, let's not. It's essentially 'I hope Vicious dies, particularly at the hands of her abuser' all over again.

It's clear Rose is growing up in a pretty unhealthy environment and is being groomed to take on a position of authority in said unhealthy environment.

I've seen the same kind of reception to irl children of cult leaders and the intent behind Rose's character is to deconstruct the fact that people - particularly children - are very much influenced by what surrounds them and will respond accordingly to it. We're social animals at the end of the day. Same goes for (anthropomorphic) lions. Not to mention what goes on in a cult that may seem alarming and disturbing to us is not necessarily the case for those within it... because they've been brainwashed into thinking it's OK. Rose is very much not exempt from this and her being groomed to become Queen by her father has only made things worse.

Anyway, my apologies, this thing got pretty long and also kinda personal and it probably also doesn't make a whole lot of sense but feeling that bullies cannot be redeemed? Totally get that. Responding to the depiction with unhealthy thoughts of child abuse or murder? I can't really get behind that. If there's room for growth and a chance for them to change rather than becoming outright established abusers as fully-fledged adults, I feel we should hope for that. - RJ

--

Like everything, it depends on how it's done. I don't know what A Silent Voice is, but some things are just too far past forgiveness or redemption. Cuz at that point its not "bullying", it's hazing. If it's teasing, or there's mutual sass happening, or heck even if one person thinks the other is bullying but it was a misunderstanding (Amity calling Luz a bully in The Owl House), and its not full on harassment, or stalking, I don't see the harm in allowing someone to better themselves and liking how they've changed, especially if they're young. And I don't see a problem with a friendship beginning at a place of conflict and grow into something strong and meaningful. I don't even think forgiveness of the bullying itself is a requirement to move on? Maybe I'm just old so I handle things differently than like a teenager would, but certain stuff just stops bothering you. People I'm still friends with to this day weren't exactly pleasant to me early on in our relationship or vice versa, but we never "forgave" the infraction and we've all just moved on because the infraction in question was never done again which is something I personally care more about. I've actually had someone from High school see me years later and apologize for how they treated me. It was just all water under the bridge at that point. But what I think about how things are handled in media is not the same thing as real people. What might not be a big deal to one person might be a big deal for someone else. Again bully redemption is something to be done with care and more often just excuses abuse which is gross. But I've seen it done right, but I wouldn't exactly call it commonplace. - Cat

[doevademe]

What are the Percy and Nico fandom headcanons you don’t like 👀

Okay. Let me just... prepare.

I'll be honest, I don't know if it's because people haven't read PJO in nearly a decade, or is it because of bad media literacy, but people tend to assign character traits that either aren't there, or the text outright suggests the opposite. I'll just list the big ones for each of my boys to prove my point.

Percy

People have this image of Percy as this social butterfly dude bro who will backtalk anyone and get away with it because he's Percy Jackson. Basically Persassy, but completely unironic about it. If you actually reread PJO, you'll notice that most of Percy's sass is given in narration, not dialogue. He's actually pretty quiet and even able to appear respectful. The weird headcanon that he's obsessed with being everybody's type also falls into this, he's not conceited.

There's also the headcanon that he'd be a party animal in college and... yeah, I don't know about that one. In my mind, Percy would be completely against the idea of getting drunk, what with his past with Gabe.

Finally, the idea that he only survives due to Annabeth. Percy's smart, he's inventive, yet people try to pass all of his successes as him being a cog in Annabeth's machine, and I feel like that reduces him to an idiot that just happens to have the power set Annabeth finds useful so they can be "equal" in the relationship or something like that.

Nico

The most prevalent is Nico the Fixer Upper. People headcanon Nico as this fragile boy that is very flawed and that Saint Love Interest is there so he can better himself and open up (And while Will is a prime offender, I've seen this same setup with Jason and even Percy). It turns the romance into a therapy, like only Nico needs to grow, that any problem that arises in the romance is his fault because he's oh so flawed, and the Love Interest is patient and worthy of Nico because he puts up with it (🤮)

A second that just grinds my gears is Nico the Victim. The headcanon that Nico has known nothing but loneliness and abuse his whole life. This is usually done to make the preferred ship partner seem better in comparison, but it feels out of place because... well, the text shows us Nico used to be a happy-go-lucky kid. He had a loving family, and he doesn't allow himself to become the victim. His biggest moment in OG PJO was sending someone trying to manipulate him to the Underworld, asserting his title as the Ghost King.

Those are the big ones, and the ones I see the most in fandom. There are a few others, but those are either very niche, or very explicitly AU stuff.

[thewalkingwillowtree]

Safe Haven

Series Part Listing Found Here

Neteyam x Original Na'vi Female Character

Summery: Seeking refuge, Xilä and her father venture to the lands of the Omatikaya clan, in the hopes that the Toruk Makto would be generous in allowing them to stay. This is her story about not only finding her strength, but finding love. 

Warning: This story contains smut, violence & abuse (please don't read if these topics will affect you)

Some characters have been aged up. Neteyam in particular is 23.

Xilä is my own creation.

~

Part 8 - Misunderstandings

Although Salveen and Jxo’s tent was relatively small, ever since Xilä had moved in, it had quickly become a social hub- much to the elder’s delight.

Salveen loved to entertain guests. So whenever the Sully siblings, Spider and any of their other friends came by to visit Xi, Salveen was always happy to whip up something tasty for them. 

The kids- as Salveen liked to call them, although all adults now, with the exception of Tuk, had started a weekly game night involving a combination of human and Na’vi games- resulting in a fun but boisterous atmosphere, especially when things turned competitive. 

Neteyam had learned early on that Xilä was quite competitive herself. He enjoyed sitting back and observing her taunting words towards her opponents, the excited glint in her eyes when she was about to win, her banter with his brother and Spider when things got heated, the little dance and handshake she and Kiri would do whenever they’d beaten the guys. 

She was a sight to behold and it was always difficult to look away. 

Tonight however, the first thing he noticed was that she seemed different. She was quiet. Reserved. Almost as if in a daze. 

Neteyam had arrived late and smack dab in the middle of a heated game between Lo’ak, Spider, Kiri and three other guys they usually hung out with. They were all seated around the rounded table in the centre of the tent, talking loudly and animatedly to each other. 

“You’re such a cheat monkey boy! I saw you hide something under your butt!”

“Oh yeah?” Spider taunted. “Come see for yourself then,” he said suggestively. 

“Don’t be gross man, that’s my sister,” Lo’ak grumbled over a mouthful of whatever treat Salveen had prepared that night. “Xi, are you sure you don’t want to get in on this rou- Tuk, would you let the girl breathe already?! She hasn’t even gotten a turn yet!”

Tuk, who was seated in Xilä’s lap, spat out her tongue at him. “We’re having girl talk Lo’ak!” 

Kiri snorted. “Tuk do you even know what girl talk is?” 

“Of course I do. It’s when girls talk. Duhhhh,” she sassed with an eyeroll before turning back to Xilä to continue to say whatever she was before. 

“See this is why I say we should leave her at home,” Lo’ak complained, “but noooo, because mom says if she wants to go, we have to bring her along.” 

“Neteyam, hey man,” W’aote said, being the first one to spot him arrive. “Sub in for me this round will you? I’ve got to piss,” he requested, standing and leaving before Neteyam could even respond. 

Neteyam sat in his spot, greeting everyone as he did. He looked over to where Xilä and Tuk were seated on the other side of the table with an expectant stare, waiting for her to acknowledge him..….but she didn’t. 

Clearing his throat he asked, “ Where’s Salveen and Jxo at?” 

“D’avi’s,” they all replied simultaneously with the exception of Xilä.

“Xi, do you want to play this round?” he called out with a grin, but it soon dropped and his ears fell backwards when all she gave him was a polite smile and a quiet, “no thank you.” 

Throughout the night it became abundantly clear Xilä was avoiding him and he fucking hated it. She still smiled and laughed and participated in a few of the games, but he knew her so well by now, he could tell something was wrong. 

She was not herself….she was not herself with him specifically. Her smile never met her eyes when they fell on him, it was almost as if she was forcing herself to be around him. 

Later into the night, when he finally got paired with her for a team game, she kept her head tilted so that her hair cut off his view of her face. His jaw clenched and he ground his teeth in irritation and his desperation to find out what caused this sudden change, intensified. 

They had no privacy being in a room full of his siblings and friends. A few times he asked her under his breath if she was okay, and each time she’d smile and say she was fine.

It was a fucking lie of course. He was fighting a powerful need to toss her over his shoulder, march them out of there and make her tell him the truth. 

Neteyam was so focused on Xilä, and trying to figure out what had happened in the few hours he had left her alone, he was oblivious to his brother’s concerned glances. 

Lo’ak seemed to be the only one to pick up that something was off between the two. He didn’t comment on it of course, but decided to keep the others distracted and unaware of the strained tension emitting from them. 

During their final game, Xi was the first to lose. Feigning a headache, she stood and bid everyone goodnight before making an escape to her room. 

Neteyam cursed under his breath when Kiri stopped him from trying to covertly sneak after her- announcing to everyone, it was his turn to play.  

By the time the night was truly well and over, he stayed behind when everyone had packed up and left. Making his way into her room, he stooped and flicked on her lamp, ensuring it stayed dim. She was snuggled under a thick pelt, fast asleep. 

Refusing to leave her just yet he laid on his side, propped up on his right arm as he stared down at her serene face. He frowned while he traced her features with the pad of a finger- noticing the slight puffiness under her eyes for the first time. 

Had she been crying?

His feather light touch smoothed over her baby soft skin, her little twitching nose and those fucking kissable lips. He needed her to wake up already so he could see her eyes. He felt like he hadn’t seen them properly all night. 

What was he missing? Why wouldn’t she look at him? Why wouldn't she talk to him?

Giving up trying to figure it out, he kissed her forehead and gently pulled her into his arms. She murmured incoherently when he moved her, then snuggled into him unknowingly as she settled against his chest and slept on. 

He only wanted to hold her for a little while. 

~

When Neteyam awoke in his own bed the following morning, he felt like the universe was out to get him. 

He had one goal and that was to get to Xi’s tent first thing, but no he could not....because his father woke him at the crack of dawn to inform him that he had to leave to attend to a situation.

This meant Neteyam needed to step in for him to conduct an evaluation on one of the warrior units- which was scheduled first thing. 

Neteyam was irritable and cranky. He was snapping at everyone as he tried to get himself ready for the day. It truly seemed like his family members were all purposely trying to piss him off. 

He felt horrible after because he had even made poor Tuk cry by yelling at her when he noticed she had painted flowers on the handle of his lucky dagger- thus ensuing an earful from his irate mother. 

“Get out!” Neytiri hissed through clenched teeth after her long angry berating. She had had enough of his bad attitude. “What is with you today? This is not like you Neteyam! Your mood has been like this all morning! Fix it or don’t come home.” 

“Bro. Bro!” Lo’ak called out, jogging to catch up to him when he stormed out. 

Neteyam made his way through Home Camp while adjusting the jewellery and comm device he had put on badly in haste. He blew out a breath, strapping a visor to his forehead. “Leave it Lo’ak. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fine,” he said with a condescending grin. “I just thought in case you hadn't realized, and to reiterate what mom said...but you’ve been a massive dick.” 

Silence greeted Lo’ak as he continued to keep pace with his seething brother who was now fiddling with the strap of his riding satchel.  

“Is this about you and Xilä?” Lo’ak asked, going the direct route.

That had Neteyam halting and turning to stare at his brother suspiciously. “Why would you ask that?”

“A hunch?” Neteyam didn’t look like he believed him, so he went for the truth instead. “Look, I don’t know if you guys see yourselves, but usually you’re all….touchy and flirty. You two can’t keep your hands to yourselves, at all,” he said with a grossed out face. “You’re both completely oblivious to the sexual tension you create.” 

Neteyam swallowed. He honestly didn’t care at this point who saw them together. “So?” he said.

“So, I noticed she was all weird around you last night, okay? When you came in, she didn’t even glance your way…if anything, she looked tense. Normally Xi can’t wait to plaster herself to your side, and then you get this stupid goofy look on your face.” 

Neteyam’s ears lowered and a lodge formed in his throat. “.....I thought I was being crazy. It was weird, she was different- distant. I tried talking to her but all she did was fucking smile and say everything was fine!” 

“Are you going to go find her now?”

“I fucking wish,” he sighed, “I’m due to conduct an evaluation right now. Dad asked me to step in for him since he’s off dealing with some situation or the other...I’m already late and she’s all the way on the other side of Camp. I’ll have to find her after.” 

“Do you know what you did?” 

Neteyam rubbed the space between his eyebrows as if in pain, without response. That was all he thought about all night. He had no clue what he could’ve possibly done. 

So why was his idiot brother so adamant that he did something? 

“Not that I know of okay? And this could be all just a one off. We don’t know that something happened for sure.”

“Did you fuck her?” Lo’ak asked crassly. 

“What the hell man!” Neteyam hissed venomously with a backslap to Lo’ak’s arm, glancing around to make sure no one had overheard.  

Lo’ak simply shrugged. “I’ll take that as a no then. Did she want you to fuck her and you said no?”

Bewildered, irked and utterly pissed off, Neteyam stormed off, muttering an, “I’m fucking done with this conversation,” as he went. 

But the annoying pest that was his brother seemed to be resilient. “I’m just trying to help you, asshole!”

“Well I didn’t ask for your help!” he seethed over his shoulder. “Lo’ak, will you stay out of it?! This is none of your business!”

“Maybe, but I’m making it my business! Xilä is upset over something you’ve done and you need to fix!”

Neteyam stopped and rounded on his brother again, braids flailing around dramatically as he poked a finger to Lo’ak’s chest. “You keep saying that! What the hell makes you think it was something I’ve done?! Huh? What do you know? And quite frankly, why do you even fucking care?!”

“So what if I care!” he roared. “And I don’t know anything, alright?! I’m not the one she’s being weird around. It’s you dumbass! So I suggest you figure out whatever the hell it is you did you did, grovel your ass off and fix this shit!” Lo’ak yelled, giving his brother a two handed shove for good measure before he stormed away. 

Spider, who had observed the entire ordeal from afar, jogged after Lo’ak. He shot a bewildered looking Neteyam a curious glance as he went. “Hey cuz, what was that about? You two looked pretty heated.” 

Lo’ak shook his head as he headed straight for the labs. “Trying to talk some sense into him is all…Hey did Xi say anything to you yesterday?” he asked. 

“Uh…like what?” 

“About Neteyam? She was all weird last night.”

“No she didn’t and shit, I didn’t notice,” he frowned. “She seemed fine though. I don’t get why you think something’s wrong.” 

“Yeah I’m sure you didn’t notice,” Lo’ak said sarcastically. “Probably because you were so busy flirting with my sister,” he grumbled, ignoring his best friend's splutter of denial. “She’s not fine, Spider. It’s Neteyam she’s all off with. Something’s changed.”

“Um, no offence cuz but ah, you know the bet’s off right? You won….Why are you so worried about this? I care too but it’s not like it’s our problem to fix. They’re adults, they can work it out themselves.” 

Reaching the outskirts of the labs, instead of heading inside, Lo’ak sat on the steps of one of the trailers with a heavy sigh.

“Do you remember what I told you I overheard my parents arguing about a while back? About what the council wants from Neteyam?”

“Mhm, yeah I remember. It’s shitty,” Spider said, climbing onto the railing to perch on top. 

Lo’ak snorted. “Shitty is putting it lightly, he’s the eldest, so it’s expected of him. And you know the idiot…he’s all about following rules and tradition…so he’ll just go along with whatever they want- be their fucking puppet.”

He became silent for a moment. “That could have easily been me... except it’s not. I get to do whatever the fuck I want and he doesn’t. His whole life is already planned out,” Lo’ak explained. “They didn’t get to control my mother, so they’re trying to control him instead.”

“It bothers you…you feel guilty, don’t you?” Spider said seriously, staring at his friend with a frown. 

“Yeah,” he admitted. “I know I can be an asshole sometimes but I do care about him and I at least want him to be happy about the person he has to spend the rest of his life with- she’d be part of the family after all and…I’d rather it be someone I could put up with,” he added quickly, trying to play off the deep emotions he was suddenly sharing with his best friend. 

Spider ignored his joke and considered his words. “And you think that person is Xilä?”

Lo’ak gave him an “are you for real” look.

“Have you seen him this happy with anybody else? If they don’t sort this out themselves soon I’ll have no choice but to meddle…….His time is running out.”

~

Xilä stood from afar, watching with weighted breath as a team of ikrans swooped in complete synchronisation. One rider in particular caught her eye, causing a flutter to tickle her stomach. 

The riders landed one by one, gracefully dismounting before either releasing their beasts to open air again, or leading them over to the ikran enclosures a couple feet away. 

Neteyam spotted her the moment he landed. A prickle of relief and happiness tinged with uncertainty at the sight of seeing her there- waiting for him, flooded his chest. 

Although it hadn’t even been a full day since he’d seen her, he missed the heck out of her. All morning he contemplated last night’s events. He just wanted to hold her already- he felt deprived. 

Hurrying to dismount, he released Buddy to the open air again.

“Hey kids,” he called out to a small crowd of children who were all excitedly watching the warrior’s arrive. “Careful alright? Not too close to the fence,” he advised as he passed them, reaching out to grab his satchel that was hooked on a fence spike.

“Yes Sir.”

“S-sorry Sir.”

“You guys that was Neteyam,” one of them whispered in awe. 

Not stopping for a second he quickly closed the distance between him and Xilä as he removed his riding visor and then unstrapped his bow and arrow carrier, tucking them all into his long riding satchel before swinging it across his back. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said when he was finally toe to toe with her. “Are you- have you been waiting for me?” he asked hopefully, focusing intently on her face, taking his fill of her.

She stepped back trying to create some space when he cupped her jaw. “Yeah,” she smiled softly, keeping her eyes averted. “Can we talk for a few minutes? I won't be long, promise.”

Neteyam nodded, feeling a little a swoop of dread. “Ye-ah,” he replied, his voice cracking. 

He was beginning to hate that polite smile of hers. All he wanted was to see her light up the way she always did whenever she saw him. He wanted to lean in and hug her or even kiss her, but he refrained. 

He was also going to take more than a few goddamn minutes thank you very much. This sudden awkward thing they had going on was going to drive him insane- it needed to end.

Before he could lead them somewhere more private however, a voice called out to him. 

“Nete!” Leati hurried over, having just landed. Slowing to a stop in front of them she touched his bicep. “Where are you going? There are still a few more routines to run through. My team is gearing up right now, I already called for the direhorses to be escorted ov-”

She abruptly stopped, just noticing who he was with. She side eyed Xilä, then continued to relay to Neteyam all the drills he would miss as she turned her back so that she stood between the two of them, blocking Xi from Neteyam’s view.  

Xilä stepped back and looked away uncomfortably, she didn’t want to see them together. She was on a mission to end things between her and Neteyam- she just wanted to get it done and over with but she refused to stick around and have them rubbed in her face. 

She had had a good cry fest yesterday- getting everything out of her system, as Salveen hugged and soothed her while desperately trying to figure out what was wrong- Xi didn’t tell her though.

Later on, after assuring Salveen she was fine, the reluctant elder and her husband eventually left to spend time with their pregnant daughter and son in law. 

Xilä retired to her room until late when her friends started to arrive for game night. She had concluded the entire situation between her and Neteyam must have been one big misunderstanding on her part. 

The more she thought about it, the more the signs were all there. No wonder he kept saying they shouldn’t have been doing what they were doing. No wonder he kept stopping them from going further. 

She felt as if she missed something from D’avi's explanation about mating and relationships, but then remembered Neteyam was the son of the Olo'eyktan. The rules must have been different for him. She’d forgotten there were many customs she must not have been familiar with and deduced this must have been one of them.

If anything, she simply felt stupid. Leati was right- she had stupid silly hope that somehow she and Neteyam would end up together……forever- mated and bonded as one for life. But that was all it was- silly hope. A daydream. 

Yet it was all very real to her... Xilä was in love with him. 

The realisation had sent her into another round of bitter tears and as much as she loathed Leati, she couldn’t bring herself to continue to sneak around with her betrothed. She refused to be like some of the women who would blatantly sleep around with her father- knowing well he had a wife.

And so, Xilä decided she definitely needed to officially end things between her and Neteyam, and fast- not only because she was not a cheater but also to protect her own heart. 

Not wanting to stay any longer she said, “Um, Neteyam we can talk later, I’ve got-,” but she was cut off when he quickly side stepped Leati and reached out to take hold of her hand- preventing her from leaving with a fleeting panicked and pleading expression across his face. 

“Yeah I know all that Leati,” he said, turning serious as he faced the female warrior again. “But something important has come up. Why don’t you guys break for lunch and I’ll page Gwuyle to finish the rest of the session for me.”

He should have done that in the first place and gone after Xilä first thing that morning. 

Xi frowned, staring up at him. She wasn’t sure if he was even aware of his actions because not only was he holding her hand, but when she tried to pull away, his tail wrapped around her thigh.  

Leati made a strangled noise and blinked disbelievingly. Her eyes darted from Neteyam who was suddenly paging Gwuyle right then and there through his comm device, to their linked hands, to his tail curled high around Xi’s upper thigh- its tip, completely hidden under her skirt. 

Xilä, who had somehow momentarily gone mute, yanked her hand from his grasp, wide eyes on a murderous looking Leati. ‘Oh shit,’ she thought, swallowing guiltily.

However- Neteyam, who seemed oblivious to the tension and reactions of the two women- only because he was still on the line with the clan’s second in command, simply tugged Xi closer with an arm around her waist, so that her front clashed flush against his side.

She stumbled and clung to his warrior belt for balance, cheeks purpling from his actions. 

She was stuck. Immovable by his hold. To anyone looking their way, they were the picturesque image of a romantic couple.

Accepting defeat, Xi slumped against him, smushing her face into the space between his pec and bicep. He seemed to have taken that action as her being affectionate, because as he wrapped up the call he pressed a casual kiss to the top of her head. 

Misreading Leati’s muted, shocked expression, Neteyam continued on as usual. “Relax Leati. Gwuyle is just as good a reviewer, you’ll be in good hands for your team’s evaluation. Have some lunch and have your team check in after.”

Leati sputtered pathetically. “I- what..but, but it’s not even lunch yet! Nete can’t you-” she stepped forward to caress his free arm but Neteyam cut her off with an exasperated sigh.

“Then have an early lunch, Leati, run a practice drill or something. Anyone else would gladly take advantage of extra time before an appraisal- Oh great, the direhorses are here.” He whistled to his own amongst the herd being guided over by a group of wranglers. 

“Nete, please stay,” Leati pleaded. “What is so important anyway?!” she snapped, glaring at the back of Xilä’s head unnoticed.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said distractedly as he watched Antoyle approach. 

Neteyam’s massive direhorse chuffed in greeting. A small squeal escaped Xi when she was suddenly hauled up onto the massive beast- Neteyam keeping a large palm on her thigh to keep her steady. 

“I’ve gotta go Leati, good luck, alright?” he said, giving her a parting smile before easily mounting the creature behind Xi and securing an arm around her once more.

Xilä caught one last withering glare from the female warrior before Neteyam was charging them off. 

~

Riding hard and fast, Neteyam led them deep into the forest. He knew it was petty and probably overly possessive of him, but he was purposely taking them somewhere far. Not only for privacy, but also so that she couldn’t escape without his help to get back. 

Passing through a thick wall of vines, they found themselves in what Xilä could only describe as a hidden cocoon of serenity. 

A small tricking waterfall flowed in the far corner, pooling in a somewhat shallow well of rocks. The flora was thick and abundant.

Glowing plants illuminated the sunless hideaway, creating a serene and romantic atmosphere. 

“What is this place,” Xi asked, momentarily distracted by its beauty.  

“It is niwan loreyu, one of the many beautiful secrets of the forest,” he said over her head as he pulled them to a stop. “Very few know of its existence,” he continued as he dismounted and disconnected his queue. 

“I feel…” she couldn’t quite explain the feeling but it felt good- as if she were being hugged lovingly.  

“It is Ewya you feel,” he explained, while removing his comm device to stuff into his bag- he didn’t want any interruptions. He then tossed his satchel to the soft flooring. “Her presence resides heavily in this place.” 

“Did we really need to come all the way out here?” she grumbled as she accepted his help to get down- legs aching slightly from the long trip. Antoyle trotted off to graze on a patch of rich grass. 

“Yes,” he grinned, tugging her hips closer, relishing in the feeling of her finally in his arms. 

“You didn’t need to leave your duti-”

“I wanted to,” he said earnestly. “God, I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks,” he groaned, nuzzling his face into her cheek, affectionately. He froze when she suddenly tensed up. 

She swallowed as a guilty flutter emitted within her. “You shouldn’t have done all of that,” she whispered, stepping out of his arms as she avoided his stare. 

“Done what?” he asked, allowing her to go but itching to pull her back. 

“Leaving with me…holding my hand- the tail thing, the touching- all of it! Especially in front of her.” 

He frowned at her with a tilt of his head but stayed silent. 

“It doesn’t matter,” she whispered more to herself than him. Squaring herself she faced him head on. “We need to stop, Neteyam.”

There was a small tightening in his chest at her words. He knew what she meant but asked anyway. “Stop what?”

She didn’t exactly know how to label it. “What we’ve been doing…you and I…everything we’ve been doing for the past-”

“No.”

Her jaw dropped. “What do you mean, no?!”

“I don’t want to,” he said simply.

“Neteyam, the sneaking around- it has to stop.”

“Then we will stop sneaking around. We will stop hiding. I know we never talked about it, but we can do that. We don’t have to remain a secret if that is what’s bothering you. Sweetheart, I’m sorry if you feel like I’ve been hiding you,” he said sincerely. 

She stared at him incredulously. “You want us to go public?! We can’t do that, what will-”

His ears fell back. “What’s so wrong about that?” he snapped.

“Neteyam,” she said, sounding so broken he felt a small part of him crack. “I don’t think you’re thinking clearly.” She rubbed the heel of her palms into her eyes. “Shit. Why is this so hard to do? I can’t stop thinking about you and all those stupid orgasms and now we have to sto-”

“You didn’t didn’t like the orgasms?!” he asked, alarmed- ears twitched high as his tail went limp. 

“No! Yes! Yes, okay! I liked it, I wanted it, I mean I practically begged for it didn’t I?” she shrieked somewhat hysterically. “But that’s not the point,” she said in frustration. “That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m telling you we need to end this!”

“Why?” 

“What?”

“Why? Tell me why? Why do you want to stop? Give me one good reason and then we’ll end things.”

Her face scrunched up in hurt. “Because I like you...much more than I should, but I know the truth now and I don’t want to come between the two of you…I-” She faltered and took a shuddering breath. 

Neteyam’s frown deepened- clearly not understanding. “Xilä what are you talking about?” 

“You don’t need to pretend anymore!” she snapped, folding her arms in vulnerability. “What I don’t get is why you didn’t tell me! I get that it’s supposed to be this big secret until you decide to announce it but- gosh Neteyam I feel like such a fool!” 

“Xilä,” he said seriously, staring at her in great concern. If anything he was looking at her like she’d gone and lost her mind. 

But she misunderstood his worry. “It’s okay,” she said quickly. “I’ll keep it a secret…‘Teyam, you’re my friend and I want us to stay that way even after- I don’t want to mess this up and I’m not blaming you…but I really don’t get why you didn’t say anything.”

When she noticed his clueless expression she mumbled out, “I know about you and Leati. She told me.”

He raised a questioning brow. “Me and Leati, what? Baby I don’t understand anything you’re saying right now. I honestly feel as if we’re speaking two completely different languages.” 

“Neteyam,” she said in a shaky voice, eyes pooling with liquid. “Why didn’t you tell me you were betrothed?” 

A beat of silence filled the air. 

“What?” he breathed out, incomprehensibly. 

Filling the sudden silence, she began to ramble as she fidgeted with her fingers. “Well I know it’s technically none of my business but well I thought maybe that’s something friends share with each other. Especially friends who did the amount of kissing and touching we did.” 

Shaking out of his reverie, Neteyam closed the distance between them, halting her movements by loosely linking his fingers with hers. 

Tilting her chin up he said very seriously, “Xilä…I am not betrothed.”

“But- yes you are.”

“Sweetheart, I’m pretty sure I’d know if I was intended to be bonded for life with someone,” he said intently. “Who the hell did you hear that shit from?” he demanded. 

“Well from Leati. She- I…” Xi spluttered, not meeting his gaze. “She said you two were…since months ago! Before you and I. You don’t just make that stuff up! You don’t lie about things like that! Why would she-”

Neteyam muttered a, “goddammit Leati,” under his breath as he tugged her closer so there was no space left between them. “Eyes, Xilä.”  

She knew the drill and looked up immediately. Her chest pressed against his upper abs so she had to arch her spine slightly to see his face properly. 

“So let's just go over this, shall we? Clear the air so that we’re on the same page.” 

She nodded, trying hard to focus on his stern voice and contain the flutters swooping around in her tummy from their proximity. Neteyam however looked like he was fighting to reign in his annoyance. 

“Xilä, I am not betrothed to Leati. I am not betrothed to anyone. Alright?” 

“But-”

“When did she tell you that?” 

“Yesterday.”

“Mm. That why you avoided me all of last night?” he asked, irritated.

A guilty expression appeared on her face. “Yes.”

All of the pieces were finally coming together now. Neteyam released a heavy sigh, nodding in understanding. He cupped her face and pressed a quick peck on her forehead.

“Come’re.” He hoisted her up the way he always did and her arms and thighs automatically wrapped around him. He couldn't deal with the distance between them anymore.

In short strides, he stepped into the rippling pool and took a seat, slumping against the rocky wall as he adjusted them into a comfortable position. The water was warm in comparison to the cool air but felt good, relaxing her slightly sore legs.  

Straddling his lap, the water covered her from her waist down. Her skirt fluttered around her hips, before sinking as it became soaked. His knees jutted out of the clear water when he propped them up, causing her to slide forward which made her core land flush against the skin just above his loincloth.

A large palm slid up her back, arching her towards him while his other soothed along her thigh. “Can I have a kiss? Please?” he pleaded- one small taste was all he needed. 

Xilä felt a bit emotional but held it in. Shaking her head up and down eagerly, she cupped his jaw, and with a soft, “yes,” she kissed him. 

The kiss was fleeting but it was very much needed in the current situation. Neteyam broke them apart with a final one, two, three sweet pecks before he was pulling back to see her face. 

“So we need to talk. There are some things you need to know, Xi,” he said seriously. 

“Alright,” she nodded, bringing her hands together to fiddle with his battleband. 

“First of all, Leati-” He tsked. “I think she probably misinterpreted a particular situation- which I will tell you about now. I’ll be sure to speak with her and clear the air of course but this is all honestly one huge misunderstanding.” 

“Well I’m quite curious to know what it’s all about. She was very territorial over you.”

“I’m sorry sweetheart. I know how she can be sometimes.” He took a breath and rubbed her thighs under the water. “Xi, when I turned eighteen the council told me I was required to find a wife by twenty-one. They thought I’d take a woman already by then…but when I hadn’t, they decided to give me a deadline.” 

Xi’s brows rose high and her jaw loosened. “They can do that?! Why would they even do that to you?”

He shrugged. “Because they can. Apparently it’s a mandatory tradition to ensure and secure the line of leadership. I’m not even going to go on about the heir they also require,” he said with an eye roll. 

“Wait wait wait. They’re giving you a deadline for finding a mate AND they are telling you when to have a baby by?! That’s ridiculous!”

Neteyam held his laughter. Her upset reaction was too cute for him to handle. “Yeah…but I put my foot down about that one. Don’t worry, no babies to worry about right now.”

“Okay…uh, continue,” she said with a blush. 

“So I’ll be honest I didn’t really try all that hard to find someone. I was too focused on my position. My training and skills were my priority- the whole mate thing, as much as I agreed, it was a lot of pressure. So I ignored it for a long while.

By the time I was a couple months away from the deadline, the council decided to take matters into their own hands. The fucking rumour mill ran wild when it became public knowledge I was looking for a mate. Every eligible female was practically being shoved down my throat.”

Neteyam shook his head. “Anyway let’s just say I learned the hard way that not all women wanted me for me. Quite a few only cared about the fucking title and the perks that came with it.”

Xilä bit down an angry retort about said women, but stayed quiet instead, soothing her palms along his chest, comfortingly. 

“The council was pissed when still I had no one chosen by my twenty-first birthday. They were all so disappointed... but I knew this was my duty. I knew I had to follow through and do it anyway. So I begged my father to plead my case and get me three more years. It was granted but it came at a cost. If I didn’t find someone by then, they’d choose for me.”

Xi's angry protest was interrupted when Antoyle chuffed, annoyed by an insect flying around his snout.

“A couple months ago, Leati’s mother- Fe’ska suggested I take her daughter as my mate. That was all it was…a suggestion. Leati and I, we don’t run in the same circle but our mothers are friends, so we’ve known each other since childhood. But I could never and have never seen her in any romantic light,” he assured, staring directly into her eyes. 

“You remember the meeting I attended a while back? The one you said I was all prickly afterwards?” 

She nodded. 

“Not only did I get another warning that my time was running out, but they decided on Leati as their final choice if I don’t succeed....If I don’t find anyone by my birthday next month, I’ll end up with Leati. She and I never spoke about it…but her mother must have said something. So that’s the only reason I could think of her making such an assumption, which is ridiculous anyway you take it.”

“Wow,” Xi whispered, slightly overwhelmed by the information thrown her way. 

“Yeah, that’s it- all of it. That’s everything.”

He seemed worried as he tried to read her emotions. “I um, I just want you to know, I wasn’t hiding all of this from you, purposely. I’ve actually been trying to get some more time but- they’re not budging.”

“It’s okay I get it. I don’t get the entire situation though. Can’t your father do something? He is Olo'eyktan!” 

Neteyam shrugged. “He can, he’s offered to step in, but I already agreed when I was eighteen. There’s a binding contract and everthing, so I have to keep my word.” 

“What are you going to do, then?” she rasped, uneasiness sinking in her stomach. She hated the whole Leati as his mate, deal.  

He pursed his lips and stared at her in silence, thumb tapping on her skin. “It depends.”

Her brows furrowed. “On what?”

“You, baby.”  

Her ears flickered. “Me?” she squeaked.

“Earlier, you said you like me too much…is that still in effect after everything I just shared?” he asked hopefully. 

“Umm, well. Honestly, I may have downplayed it a bit,” she said sheepishly. “It is more…love, than like.”

Xilä held her breath as she watched his expression morph from apprehension to understanding, to pure giddiness. 

“You love me?” he said with the widest grin on his face she had ever seen as he leaned in while simultaneously tugging her forward. “As in, love love? In love with me?”

Xilä giggled at his teasing and sailed her hands up his body to grip his neck, thumbs stroking his skin. She bore a matching grin while he nuzzled her cheek, trailing along her face to rub their noses together. 

“That’s quite funny,” he said, “because guess what, sweetheart?”

“What?” she hushed against his lips, crinkling eyes boring into his. 

“I’m in love with you too.”

She knew it was coming, his teasing tone had said it all but yet she still felt that bubble of emotion surface. 

Neteyam’s face softened into a concerned frown. “Sweetheart. Xi what’s with the face?”

She choked on a laugh, shaking her head. “I’m okay. Sorry,” she smiled through teary eyes. “It’s stupid.”

“Tell me anyway,” he said, kissing her scrunched up nose.

“I’ve never had anyone say those words to me before,” she admitted shyly. “It felt good, that's all.” 

“Fuck….” he whispered, in upset. He seriously loathed her parents more than anything at that moment. 

“Then I will make sure you hear those words every day for the rest of our lives, okay? Baby, I will try my hardest to make sure of it,” he promised sincerely. “I love you Xilä.” 

“I love you too Neteyam.”

~

“Can we stay here forever?” Xi sighed, in complete contentment. 

“If you want,” Neteyam agreed easily. 

He’d give her the damn universe if she wanted it. 

Xilä sucked the last of the sweet juice that coated her fingers, humming happily as she did. “Well that was delicious,” she said, tail sailing like it usually did whenever she ate something yummy.

They were still in their little hideaway. Seated side by side, they munched on some picked, ripe fruit as they dried off on the soft, sweet smelling grass. 

Neteyam’s legs were splayed and propped up, but he’d dragged and draped her both thighs over one of his. Xilä leaned her temple against his bicep and took his hand to play with his fingers on her lap.

“Will they have a problem with it? Well, with me?” she suddenly asked, feeling a bit insecure. 

“Who? The council?” he asked over a mouthful of fruit. 

“Sure, but more importantly your parents. I’m probably not who they were hoping you’d end up with,” she admitted.

He looked down at her with a crooked little smile. “My parents will probably understand more than anyone else. My father is from the stars, remember? Against all odds they fell in love and chose to be together. And as for the council….” he shrugged. “I don’t fucking care. You know why?” 

She shook her head. 

“Because I. Choose. You.” 

Beaming, she stretched up and used a hand to tug on his neck, begging to be kissed. He obliged eagerly, sweeping a tongue along her bottom lip so she’d open up for him. 

With a simple move, she was scooped into his lap. Her palms danced down his chest, fingernails grazing his nipples as she trailed her way to his bare midriff. He had taken off his belt and left it out to dry. 

“I always liked these,” she mumbled against his lips as she stroked his abs appreciatively. 

“Mmm, I know. I’d see you staring at them all the time whenever you thought I was distracted,” he smirked, chuckling when he heard her shocked gasp. 

Xi sat back. “You did?!” she shrieked, feeling thoroughly embarrassed. 

Neteyam licked his lips and plopped the last of his fruit into his mouth.

“Oh yeah,” he murmured, leaning back on one arm comfortably while the other reached up to pinch a pebbled nipple through her top. “These would get all showy, and your tail would flicker all eager like,” he teased. 

“Oof, I can’t believe I was so obvious!” she wailed, slapping a palm across her face in horror while he laughed out loud. She lightly smacked his chest in retaliation. 

“It was cute, baby,” he said, licking away a drop of juice that escaped him. Xilä stared as he tried and failed to catch it, so she leaned forward and licked the bead from the corner of his lip for him, sucking on the skin a bit. 

When she pulled away Neteyam smirked again. “You're quite a spicy little minx you know that?” 

She shifted in his lap and wiggled her little butt into him. Her eyes glinted, knowingly- a stark difference to her blushing disposition a few moments ago. 

He knew that look all too well by now. Sitting up, he pulled on the tie behind her back and instantly removed the strip of cloth from her chest. Eyes locked on hers, he tackled the tie on her hip next, pulling the slightly damp skirt off of her, flinging it to the side as well. 

“What do you want Xi?” he asked, reaching down to free her of the under cloth she usually wore. 

She knew the drill by now. Tongue or fingers. 

“Wait.” Gripping his wrist, she stopped him from tearing the poor flimsy cloth off of her. “You can’t keep doing that,” she said sternly with a hint of amusement. 

In quick succession, her nimble fingers undid the tiny knot and then she was finally bare to him. 

“I can always get you new ones made, you know?”

“Yeah? And how’s that going to look if you’re constantly requesting them from the seamstresses? What are they going to think?” 

Neteyam shrugged. “Probably that I am keeping my mate thoroughly satisfied?” 

“Your mate?” Xi asked, lighting up by the thrill of his words.

They had spoken about it not too long ago.

When he officially asked her to be his, she hadn't been able to contain her excitement. Xi had practically tackled him with slew of yeses and kisses. She was actually going to be his wife and would be forever grateful to the Great Mother for blessing her so abundantly.

Realizing what he said, Neteyam’s ears flickered backwrds and his cheeks tinged purple. Xi thought he was freaking cute whenever embarrassed.

“Sorry, I just- well you know what I meant…” he stuttered, rubbing at his temple bashfully. 

 Xilä’s smile was relentless. She loved the sound of those words coming from his lips. 

Having enough of the roles reversed and Xi’s giddiness at his embarrassment, he tossed a sudden curve ball at her. 

“I want you to ride my face.” 

Her smile slipped right off when she understood his meaning. “Uhhh, um. How will that work? Won’t I stifle you? How will you breathe?” she asked innocently. 

“I just won’t,” he teased, playing with her breasts as if they were his favourite toy. 

“You could die, Neteyam!” 

“And I will die a happy death,” he countered, lifting her to her knees so he could suck on the rounded flesh of her chest. 

All the while, poor Xilä was contemplating the logistics of his request. There was apparently a lot she still didn't know. D'avi had obviously not been able to educate her on everything, so she knew she’d have to learn and figure out the rest herself.

“Relax baby,” he said, seeing her concerned expression. “I’m teasing. I won’t die because I’ll have plenty of air. It's only my mouth you’ll be riding anyway. If you don’t like it we can stop. You don’t even have to do-”

“No, I want to do it!” she protested. “I want to try. Oh and um, I choose both by the way,” she said, realizing she’d never responded to what she wanted from him. “Tongue and fingers.”

Neteyam shook his head with a laugh. “Yes, Ms. Little Greedy Butt, as you wish. Now come here. You’ll get your tongue first,” he said, lifting her entirely as he laid back. 

Xi was in for another sore legged journey.

~

What a rollercoaster this one was! It was touch and go for a minute but so happy it was all cleared up.

Do you guys hear the wedding bells?!!!

I think Lo’ak was my favorite part though lol

Okay, so hadn’t planned on it, but please let me know if you want the rest of the spicy scene from the end or if it’s fine that way. I’ll add it to the next part if you do.

As always lemme know that you guys think :)

@jakesullyfatjuicypeen @granddearduck @riatesullironalite @strawberri-blonde @earthling55 @innercreationflower @duckworthbean @gyuventure

If you'd like to be tagged or I forgot you by accident, please let me know.

[rogersideup]

Nice to be Kneaded

Chapter 7

Beautifully Natured

Series Masterlist

Previous part: Sunflower Next Part: The Brewing Storm

Word Count: 5,999

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Descriptions of injuries, mentions of anxiety, and sexual and domestic abuse. Topics discussed in this chapter could be hard for some people, please be advised.

"So..." You shouted from the inside of your walk in closet to make sure Steve could hear you from his spot, comfortably sprawled out in your bed wearing nothing but your blankets. "I just have to input work hours into payroll and decorate a few cakes for pickup tomorrow. It should only take a few hours, do you want to do something after?"

"Ummmmm yeah" He shouted back, sass laced in his tone. "What am I supposed to do? Say no?"

"Well then sorry I asked!?" You rolled your eyes, happy he couldn't see the stupid smile on your face as you buttoned your jean shorts.

"Are you sure you have to go to work at all?" He asked.

"Oh, I'm sure." You looked through all your tops to try and find one good enough to wear to work.

"But isn't the beauty of being your own boss being able to make your own work hours?"

"Yes, but the downside is needing to make sure all your employees are taken care of. If I don't input payroll today, nobody will get paid next week." You explained, pulling a shirt off a hanger.

A pair of unsuspecting arms wrapped around your bare stomach from behind, and a few kisses were placed at the crown of your head. "I'm sure they have savings?"

You giggled at his attempt. If it were up to him, the two of you would be naked in bed all day. Watching movies, eating food, and getting your daily cardio in through endless romps between the sheets. As lovely as that sounded, you had a whole business that heavily relied on you to keep operating.

"People have kids to feed and rent to pay, baby." You slipped the T-shirt over your head, and he stepped back to give you space to do so.

Once your arms were pulled through the short sleeves, and you tucked just the front into your pants. He reached his hand out to grab your injured one, it was only then you noticed he managed to put some pants on.

"How's your money maker?" He questioned, inspecting the healing gash in your palm.

"Getting better every day." You reassured him. "It's almost gone."

"Feeling better?"

"Doesn't even hurt" You nodded.

"Tough as nails, beautiful." He raised the back of your hand to his lips before kissing it. "And you'll have a really cool scar to show for it."

No matter how much time you've spent with him, or how intimate the two of you have become, you still couldn't help the blush in your cheeks whenever he complemented you.

You just simply weren't used to a guy treating you like this, it was as if Steve worshiped the ground you walked on. He complemented you every chance he got, held open every door, never let your glass vase empty of flowers, and deeply cared about your well-being. You'd never eaten and consumed water on such a consistent basis in your entire life.

The track record of lousy men in your life had you used to busting your ass to make sure their stomachs were full, you fought tooth and nail just for a moment of their attention. You'd spend hours squeezing yourself into uncomfortable shape-ware then into even more uncomfortable outfits after hours of doing your hair and makeup just for a glimmer of hope that they'd tell you they thought you were pretty.

You were used to 24 hour labor just to maintain a career and keep your last ex happy, busting your ass in hopes of validation from him just for your cheek to be met with the back of his hand and his back turned away from yours as you slept at night. You'd sleep with him even if you hated every second just for the chance to feel his arms around you, you'd hoped that maybe you'd get to look into his pretty brown eyes and see a tiny sparkle of lust for you. But you always ended up feeling worse than where you started. Like a toy, a vessel for his white picket fence fantasy.

But Steve? You're pretty sure he'd get on his hands and knees just to kiss your feet if you'd let him. Sometimes you felt guilty. You knew you should enjoy every moment of feeling wanted and worshipped, the altitude in which Steve cared about you is something you thought you could only dream of from a man.

But a lot of the times you had to stop and take a deep breath. Like when he'd rest his hand on your cheek and you'd have to physically restrain yourself from flinching, or when he told you how beautiful he thought you were but all you could get yourself to believe was that he was lying to keep you close and use your body. When he reached for your hands to hold them or give you a hug, your brain always wanted to yank them away before he could have the chance to pull you first.

Of course you knew that's not what was happening here, and you never had any of thought thoughts before sleeping with him. Why they had become so loud and invasive recently was beside you, and completely aggravating.

You wished in moments like these you still had Georgia to talk to. She was the only one who truly knew what you had gone through, and the only one who ever seemed to give you advice you could wholeheartedly trust. Of course you had other friends, but they wouldn't understand like Georgia would. Shit, Georgia wouldn't even understand anymore considering she hated Steve with every bone in her body.

So now it was up to you, and your sort-of clueless fugitive to sort out this jumbled mess of emotions in your head. Quite honestly, you didn't want to subject him to carrying the weight of the hurt in your heart. So.... you were down to just you.

"...did I lose you?" He asked as he gently let go of your hands when he saw a glossy lost look in your eyes.

"No..." You shook your head and forced a smile. "Sorry. What do you want to do later? Do you have anything in mind?"

He nodded shyly. "I have some plans in mind if you're feeling up to it."

"What kind've plans?" You asked, eyebrow raising in suspicion.

"Surprise plans" He shrugged.

"Should I be scared?" You thought out-loud.

"No" he giggled. "It's definitely nothing too crazy."

"Should I change when I get home from work?"

"Nope, what you're wearing is perfect, and I'll come pick you up."

You checked your outfit in the mirror hanging on the closet door just to make sure you looked okay before leaving the house. "A t-shirt and shorts is perfect?"

"You look great" he grinned proudly before kissing your shoulder, looking at you through the mirror.

"Are you sure you want to pick me up? I don't mind meeting you at your place." You questioned.

"Yeah of course!" He said enthusiastically. "Why would I not pick you up?"

"Just seems a little inconvenient for you, that's all." You grinned at his confusion.

"It's not inconvenient" He shook his head. "It would be inconvenient for you to come all the way back here just to meet me at my house then leave again. Plus, even if it was inconvenient for me I wouldn't mind because I'd do pretty much anything just to spent 5 minutes with you."

"You're a puppy dog, Steve." You smiled on the outside but screamed on the inside, just trying to convince yourself you deserved this.

Behind that smile, he could see there was something wrong. Your hesitancy to accept anything he was saying to you at the moment was making him slowly panic and shrink into himself. He was scared he had done something wrong, or maybe you were just starting to remember the gravity of the situation the two of you were in.

No matter what, he couldn't think of a situation in which the pain in your eyes wasn't his fault. It made him swallow hard and think of a low pressure way to ask what he did to make you feel hurt enough to hide it.

He watched your walk to your shoes and slip on a pair of white sneakers, and tie them up in a perfect knot. Leaning against the door frame to wait for you, you popped back up with a little spring in your step.

You approached and put your hands on his waist just to feel his warm bare skin underneath your hands one last time before you had to go, then rocked up on your tippy toes for a kiss. His hands met the small of your back, before one of them traveled upwards to caress the side of your cheek.

Once again, you had to suppress the fight or flight response a hand on your face caused.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked you, slowly moving his hand back down to your spine.

Turns out, you weren't as good at hiding your internal war as you thought you were.

You nodded, "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" He asked again, his tone was gentle but you could tell he was genuinely concerned.

"Yeah" You tried to convince him, but you really couldn't even convince yourself. "Yes, I'm okay."

That did nothing but raise the anxiety levels in his own mind, and cause his heart to sink into his stomach. But he knew now wasn't the right time to open up a whole can of worms right before you had to go to work, so just for you, he was going to live in the sinking feeling for a little while before he could see you again and talk about it at a better time.

"Okay" He pressed his lips together in a straight line and he looked down to see your face, his long hair forever flopping into his eyes. "I hope you have a good day at work"

You could tell he was worried, but you could tell even more that he thought he was the source of whatever was going on. And although that was partly the truth, it wasn't his fault and it killed you to see him look so down about it.

"How could could it possibly be good if you aren't there?" You questioned rhetorically, earning a genuine smile from him.

"Well I'll be here waiting for you the whole time, that's gotta count for something, right?" He smiled.

"Just like I said, you're a puppy dog." You smiled genuinely this time, and gave him one more kiss. "You can stay here as long as you want by the way, no pressure to leave."

"Okay, I'll see you later, Baby." He gave you another kiss for the road.

"Looking forward to it."

For the entirety of your time in the bakery, you just couldn't stop thinking about it, about him. You really did care about him so much, and you knew how much you meant to him as well. The more your mind spiraled the more guilty you felt.

Then you started thinking about Georgia again. If she really cared about you, why was she so keen on your ex but won't touch Steve with a 10 foot pole? Steve was the one who treated you like a god while the last one was taking advantage of you and playing cat and mouse behind closed doors.

Was it lack of judgment, or perhaps too much judgement? Maybe she was like your mother and would rather you be miserable in a situation that was bad for you just so everyone around you could think you had a loving husband and kids, rather than be happy with Steve who was a little too rough around the edges for Greenwood. Or maybe she was just like you, flinching and cowering at the remembrance of your last love.

You held it together until closing, then when it was just you alone in your cozy (not so) little bakery, a few tears fell and blurred your vision as you piped out the intricate details on the pink princess style cake on the turntable. A good time to take a breather didn't really happen until you finished the third and last cake, and all of them were tagged with the customer invoice and safely stored in the fridge.

You went to the bathroom with the intention of trying to fix yourself up considering Steve would be there at any moment to come get you, and you really didn't want him to see you like this. After managing to get yourself mostly presentable, you made a discovery that accounted for some of the dramatic emotions today, and that was a visit from Aunt Flow herself.

Your period made her monthly debut, and somehow, that made you feel a little bit better but also significantly worse. There was now something to blame for the tears, but also a whole new source of anxiety. For the first time, you'd have to deny Steve sex if that was in his list of plans for the night.

The thought made your hands shake and an uncomfortable stinging reside in your lungs. You really didn't want to find out that he was anything like your ex. If you said no but he still said yes, and insisted his emotions were more important than yours, you weren't sure you could handle that.

You couldn't handle a whole night of hugging yourself to sleep with his back facing you, holding back tears as to not wake him up. You couldn't handle disappointing him, or upsetting him just because of a two letter word slipping off your tongue.

Before you could even get your phone out to text him to reschedule, you could hear footsteps in the store. One last look in the mirror had you taking in one last deep breath before walking out and facing the cold hard truth that maybe you'd be led to uncomfortable disappointment tonight.

"Sunflower!" He smiled when he saw you, quietly walking over.

"Hi Stevie" You greeted, once again putting on your bravest face.

"I saw your cakes in the fridge, they're so pretty!" He complemented.

"Thank you, thank you" You accepted, feeling a little calmer around him. With no more room to let your mind wander, there was no time for imaginary scenarios. "You look very handsome"

You were also comforted by his choice in outfit. Much like you he was wearing shorts, a causal shirt, and some sneakers. There was a hat on his head and his car keys remained in his palm.

"You always say that." He smiled and shook his head.

"Cause I always think that" You rebutdtaled, turning off the lights, getting ready to leave with him. "Soooo what are we doing?"

"Oh! Right!" He lit up. "I thought we could have a picnic and watch the sunset over at the Lakeview Cliffs. Is that okay?"

Another wave of relief washed over you, you could definitely use some fresh air and a sunset to help clear your mind. "That sounds perfect."

After a big hug and a long kiss, he held all the doors open for you, conversation flowed easily, he set up the whole picnic insisting you didn't lift a single finger, and the two of you ate until your bellies were happily full.

With nothing around but grass and trees, and a gorgeous lake below the cliff, the world suddenly felt less suffocating. You loved moments like this were Steven from Greenwood could just be Steve Rogers, and you didn't have to be the neighbor anymore.

You could be you, he could be him, and the two of you could be lovers with nothing to hide from.

As the sun started it's decent, he took his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair a few times before laying down and inviting you to lay down with him.

Settling down side to side on the blanket, his arm was your pillow and his hand was grazing the top of your arm until you reached up to lace your fingers with his.

You could physically feel your heartbeat settling with the sun, and your chest warmed with the hot summer air. The season was coming to an end, every once in a while there would be a cool breeze that reminded you that fall was rapidly approaching so you enjoyed the heat until it was gone.

Not many more words were shared after that. Deep down you both knew that you each had your own thoughts to sort through in your own jumbled up minds. The only difference was that you knew the battle Steve was fighting, but cluing him in on yours felt impossible.

So instead of thinking about it, you thought about nothing but the beauty of the world you lived in. You watched the sun reflect off the calm ripples of the water off in the distance, how softly cushioning the grass was beneath your blanket, the rustles of the tree leaves with every passing breeze, all the chirps of the birds soaring over the water, and the calming breaths and radiating warmth of your favorite boy next to you.

You could've cried right then and there just because of how calm you felt, how beautiful life could be regardless of personal experiences and circumstances.

You couldn't possibly imagine how Mother Nature designed such beautiful colors to paint the sky every night as the sun made its way to light up different parts of the world, or how she came up with the idea of a quick green flash to signify the end of daylight, and most importantly how the light of golden hour made Steve even more beautiful than before.

His calmness made you calm, and his stillness made you still.

Even after the sunset you two continued to lay and watch the stars twinkle. But you rolled to your side and rested your head on his chest, just to hear his heart beat faster when you held him closer.

After about an hour of comfortable silent stargazing, you propped yourself up just to be able to give him a kiss. He happily accepted, but also could tell you were tired, and he knew you were still at an emotional distance away from him, so he knew it was time to get you home.

There were some uncontainable smiles you missed on the car ride home. Steve would take his eyes off the road for just a split second to see you struggling to fight off sleep with your head resting against the passenger window, you also missed more smiles when you took his hand off the gear shift to hold it in both of yours.

It seemed as though the whole neighborhood was asleep by the time he pulled into his driveway, so he felt more than comfortable walking around to get you from the passenger seat. Besides, all of Georgia's lights were off.

"Come on sleepyhead" Steve held out his hand for you to help you out of the car, and you dragged yourself out.

When you were back on your two feet, your calmness was replaced with anxiety again. It had been a rollercoaster of emotions all day, and you were ready to just skip to the part where you could hideaway in bed to deal with the disappointment in Steve's reaction to you denying him what he probably wanted.

"There you go" He closed the car door, and once again promised to take you to get your car from the bakery tomorrow.

“Thanks for everything tonight, I think I really needed that." You admitted.

You could see the concern on his face once more as he pulled you in for a hug. "Anytime. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry." You nodded, pulling away quickly just in case someone was watching. "Just not really feeling the best today."

You wrapped your arms around yourself in attempts to self sooth, he could tell how uncomfortable you really were.

"What's going on, sweetheart?" He questioned, leaning back against his car.

“I don't really know" You shrugged and sighed. "Just have a lot on my mind."

"Did I do something wrong?" He flat out asked, seeking his own peace of mind.

"No" You immediately shook your head? "God no- it's not your fault. I'm sorry if i made you feel like you did"

"It's okay, I just- I could tell you've been a little weary around me recently and I just really want to make sure it's not something I'm doing to you." He admitted hesitantly.

"No, baby." You stepped closer to him. "It's really not your fault. I'm so sorry."

He wanted to comfort you, his arms ached to hold you close, his lips wanted to kiss you and tell you that whatever was happening would be okay. But he couldn't here in the driveway, not for potential neighbors to see. Not for his sake or yours.

"Do you want to go inside?" He offered, your heart immediately started racing, you felt nauseous like you could throw up at any moment.

"I can't" You shook your head again, holding back tears. Your eyes immediately met the floor, but not before you could see his eyebrows furrow.

"You can't?" He questioned, dripping with worry.

All you could get yourself to do was shake your head.

"What's going on?" He continued to ask.

"Um," you swallowed. "I just started my period."

His posture deflated and his expression softened, "is that why you don't feel good?" Steve asked, causing you genuine confusion.

"What?" You finally looked up at him, blinking back tears.

"You don't feel good and you're about to cry" he stated the obvious. "Is it because of your period?"

"No- it's just that I can't-" A tear finally broke and fell down your cheek, you quickly wiped it away. You felt pathetic, you couldn't even finish your sentence.

"Baby" He pouted. "Are you sure you don't want to come in?"

"No" In a moment of courage, you stood your ground. If you didn't do it now, you never would be able to. "I can't have sex with you tonight, I'm sorry."

The second those words flew out of your mouth, Steve was taken back. Not because of what you had denied, but because he understood now what this was all about. He became overwhelmingly sad for you, but also overwhelmingly angry over the men that trained your brain into such a viscerally traumatic response at the situation at hand.

He didn't know what do or or to say, he didn't know how to reassure you that it wasn't his intention in the first place, or how to calm you down in a way that felt safe for you. He needed a few seconds to formulate an appropriate response with every factor at play.

Unfortunately you took those few seconds as rejection, and it didn't take much for your silent tears to turn into sobs as your legs quickly carried you away from him and toward your own house. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Wait, wait, wait!" He called out, but he didn't want to chase you, and he certainly didn't want to hold you back. "That's not what I was expecting from you when I asked if you wanted to come in. I just wanted to talk about what's going on, that's all."

His heart broke for you, there was nothing that could make it better. He knew that, but he also wished he had known about this about 10 minutes sooner so he could've found better words to invite you in. He could've been a bit more sensitive on how he chose to handle the night better, he could've avoided making you feel so uncomfortable in your own mind. He just felt bad.

You stopped in place for a few moments to hear him out, but everything in you mind and body was telling you to run- far and fast to your front door, locking your door and the deadbolt behind you.

As your ears listened for his footsteps walking on the concrete to come catch you and pull you back towards his house, you couldn't comprehend that he was staying put. Leaning against the sleek black car, you weren't a mouse and he certainly wasn't a cat.

He was relieved when you stopped, but terrified the next words out of his mouth would be the wrong ones. "You don't have to spend the night if you don't want to, you never have to do anything you don't want to. I just wanted to make sure you're alright." He reiterated once more. "You can even go home right now if that's what you need to do, but I hope you know I really care about you. And I'm really sorry if I made you feel pressured into that, ever"

Immediate guilt washed over you. Again. Just like it had all day long. You had imposed so many of you passed experiences with shitty men on your Sweet Stevie, and you couldn't believe you let them continue to spoil every attempt at love you've made since you escaped their hands.

Now you were sobbing between driveway 304 and 306 while he kept as much physical distance between the two of you as he could, hugging a car instead of your body.

You so desperately wished you never had to feel like this, all while he was plotting ways to ensure you never had to feel that way again.

It was too overwhelming, the flooding emotions made you dizzy and the floor felt like it wanted to swallow you whole. All you could do was sink down onto your knees, then fall onto your butt when you felt how invasive the concrete was on your skin.

Steve wanted to cry with you, part of him could never understand how you felt, but another part of him knew exactly how you felt. So many people had hurt you in ways you couldn't have ever imagined, and trying to rebuild yourself after being torn down was painful and complicated. He's been there, he was there. Right here, right now, and the only thing that ever made him feel better was you. His warm sunflower, his guiding light in the dark.

Maybe you needed him too, so he approached slowly. When he made it to you, he sat down with enough space to make sure you knew he wasn't making advances towards you.

He rested his hand palm up towards you with his forearm in his lap. You always played with his fingers when you were anxious, so he wanted a low pressure way to offer that to you.

"I'm really sorry, Sunflower." He apologized once more, his voice calm and compassionate. "I had no idea. I never meant to hurt you like this."

You slowly reached out for his hand, all while still being unable to even look at him. It was warm and heavy in your grip, his fingers were silky soft and nimble for you to fidget with.

"You mean so much to me, no matter what we do together all ever I want to do is spend time with you. You aren't just a body to me, you never have been but maybe I got a little to carried away. I just really, really like you." He continued.

You mind slowly calmed as he spoke, and all the times you two have made love came rushing back to you. Not so much the deed itself, but how you felt before and after.

All the times he asked before laying a finger on you, all the times he checked in to make sure you were still feeling okay and on board with the endeavors, when he told you how beautiful you were, how happy you made him, how good you made him feel, the eye contact, how good he made you feel, how he made sure you knew that you were wanted and appreciated, all the times he got you cleaned up, how he always made sure you were warm and comfortable, and how he continued to give you his love and attention when all was said and done. He'd hold you close, make sure you were tucked in just the way you liked, peppered your face, shoulders and arms in kisses.

Even afterwards he still made sure you felt beautiful, wanted and seen. His attention towards you was never transactional or conditional. He wasn't the problem, he was never the problem.

When you felt calm enough, and your brain could finally recognize that there wasn't a threat, you pushed yourself up and onto him. Your arms wrapped around his body nice and snug, and you cried into his shoulder. "It was never you, this isn't your fault. I'm sorry you have to deal with it."

He very hesitantly wrapped his arms around you too. "You don't have to apologize."

"Neither do you. You've always made me feel so good, I don't know why I get like this sometimes. My brain tells me I need to run away, but my heart knows you'd never hurt me. It's just a battle of who's voice is louder."

“I understand what PTSD is like, I know what it's like to have been hurt and betrayed by people you love, but I can't relate to what you've been through. So when you feel like something is wrong, or you need me to change whatever I'm doing, just tell me, okay?" He cradled the back of your head. "I'll never be mad at that."

"Okay" You tearfully agreed. "I'm really sorry"

"It's okay, Baby, you're okay." He comforted you.

"You're so important to me, and I love spending time with you" you reiterated. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"You didn't hurt my feelings" He pet your hair, "I'm just really angry at whoever made you feel like there should be a consequence to saying no. You never deserved that."

"Thank you for being so understanding." You shoved your face deeper into the crook of his neck.

"Honey, I'm going to say exactly what I mean this time, okay? In the most delicate way possible, I really want to make sure that you're okay, and you're sobbing in the middle of the sidewalk after running away from me for the whole neighborhood to hear and see. Can we please go inside so I can make this better without someone calling the cops? I don't think that would be good for either of us." He reworded his invite into his house.

The way he phrased it actually made you let out a genuine laugh, you had never really thought about how bad it looked or why he actually wanted to get you inside.

"Can we go to my house?" You asked, craving the comfort of your own bed.

"Of course." He agreed. "Hold on tight."

Understanding what he was about to do, you moved your arms to wrap around his neck instead, and he picked you up as you clung to the front of him like a koala. He got you inside safe and sound, and brought you to the couch where he sat down and you remained latched to his front.

He wrapped a blanket around the both of you to make you feel more secure, and rubbed your back and let you cry for as long as you needed. Every once in a while, he'd remind you that you were safe and in good hands.

When your crying came to an end and you were half asleep on Steve, you realized that moments like these were far more intimate than sex ever was for you, and here you were feeling more than content letting him provide his shoulder to cry on.

You reached up to caress the side of his head that was resting on yours, then kissed his temple. He grinned and kissed your forehead before wiping the last of your tears off your face and kissing your lips.

"I think you need a good night of sleep, Darling." He told you, still smoothly running his hands up and down your back. "Can I tuck you in?"

"Actually, will you stay?" You asked.

You couldn't help blushing at his reaction, a goofy lopsided smile. "Really?"

"Yeah" You nodded. "I've found out recently that I get my best sleep when you're next to me, and like you said, I think I need some good sleep."

"I would love to."

You guys dragged your feet up the stairs and he patiently waited for you to shower and get into bed. When you made it to the blanket and pillow wonderland, Steve was propped up on the headboard shirtless and in a pair of sweatpants he always left at your place.

Your arms found each other quickly, and his bare skin comforted you just as much as the heavy comforter he was pulling over your shoulders. Your found his hand under the blankets, and lifted it up to placed in on your cheek.

He immediately used his thumb to rub the gentlest little hearts under your eye as you left your hand cupping the back of his.

All of the parts of you that were once hurt in the hands of a man who claimed he loved you, were now on the journey of being healed by the kindness of a man who didn't even need to say he loved you to prove how much he cared.

You were comfortable, being held snugly and listening to the beat of the kindest heart you've ever met. And for once, your cheek was warm with something other than a residual sting.

Tonight wasn't perfect, and that's okay, because tomorrow the two of you will wake up to the sun returning from the journey it sought after just a few hours ago, and it'll be a whole new start. A whole new chance to get it right. It'll wake you up with a warm glow to bask in, and you'll also bask in the warm glow of somebody who really cares about you for all the right reasons.

That was all you could've ever hoped for, a man who was beautifully natured.

When you did wake the next morning, you were alone in bed but noticed your phone had been plugged in, your water bottle had been refilled, and a little note was on the unoccupied pillows next to your head.

At first your heart sank thinking maybe he got that phone call in the middle of the night, thoughts of never seeing him again filled your mind with dread. But you picked it up and his adorable little handwriting with a heart next to your name in the middle of a folded up piece of paper made you smile regardless of what was inside.

Your fingers quickly unfolded the paper, and out came a $20 bill, with more words jotted down on the light blue lines.

My precious sunflower,

Bucky called and I couldn't find it within my heart to wake you up. I'll be back soon with coffee, breakfast, and more cuddles as soon as he lets me go. (He can talk for hours if I let him, it's currently 6:35...) If you're actually reading this it means he's probably still talking and I'm probably still letting him. Also, while writing this I realized I still had this $20 and if you give it back to me one more time I'm going to be mad!!! >:(

Okay see you soon, Beautiful :) -Steve

You put the note in your bedside drawer to read again on a rainy day before shoving your face in the pillows and covering your head with the blankets with blushing cheeks and a smile on your face. You deserve this.

Next part: The Brewing Storm

Tag list: @patzammit @bemysugarbean @buckymydarlingangel @happinessinthebeing @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @differenttyphoonwerewolf @themotherof10 @lokislady82 @talesofadragon @spikeluv84 @xxxalicerogersxx @avid-fic-reader-05 @royalwriteroftheuniverse @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @bitchy-bi-trash @crazyunsexycool @openup-yourmind

[latteandjacks]

Now, watching Mammon's magnificent blah blah to lazy i'm sorry

This is going to be a looooooong post

(Containing laughter everytime the name Mammon appears on screen because in Mexico and without one m it's a word to say call someone an egocentric ot an asshole or both)

"Women aren't funny" WOW MAN I KNOW IS HELL BUT HOW ARE YOU NOT CANCELLED¿

"He can eat my ass, in a bad way"

Blitz your fucking disgusting

HE SAID IT, OZZIE CALLED BLITZ BLITZ AND NOT BLITZO, YES, YEEESSSSSS

I know and I know and I know Ozzie is right and Mammon is definilty abusing Fizz and he's an asshole and Ozzie is trying to help but I really really don't like how he words things because out of context it sounds really bad but again I know Mammon is a bitch

Me: "Oh wow Ozzie hired Blitz and other guard, the guard looks like him, probably someone strong because Blitz is mainly there to convince Fizz, right?" "Wait THAT'S OZZIE?? HOW IS HE- HOW IS HE SO THIN-"

Ozzie Ily but srsly you need to learn to communicate with your partner

I really hate how it looks like the upper arms are coming out of Mammon's chest I really hate that

STOP GRABBING HIM LIKE HE'S A TOY NOOOO

BLITZ ILY YOU TOO BUT RULE #1 OF SEEING YOUR FRIEND CLEARLY BEING MENTALLY ABUSED BY SOMEONE WHO HAS POWER OVER THEM: GAIN THAT PERSON TRUST FIRST HAND SO YOU CAN WORK BETTER INTO GETTING YOUR FRIEND AWAY FROM THEM WITHOUT RISKING YOUR FRIENDS SAFETY

"He thinks he's funny" "Offended"

FIZZ NO

Ooooh who are these two, oooooh no I don't like their designs

I'm dying, Blitz insulting the blue twins and Fizz possing like trying to replicate Blitz sass but not really

Blitz NO you're making it worse help you're giving him more pressure

Ooooooh I like this "song" I like it a lot

NO THE GIRL WITH $ TITS FELL NOOOOHOO 😭

Istg if the creep from the beginning comes back i'm going to chew my shoes

WAIT ARE THE HORNS LIKE THEIR EARS?? THEY HEAR TROUGH THAT?? OMG THE KID IS SO CUTE THIS SCENE IS GOING TO MAKE ME CRY???

FIZZ KNOWS SIGN LANGUAGE I'M CRYING AND I'M NOT KIDDING THERE'S TEARS ON MY FACE

(Takes a break to chill the fuck out)

Aight

FUCK HE DID CAME BACK, BLITZ, SHOT 'EM Okay help he's a discord mod isn't he Pixar villain complex

I'm sad because I know Fizz really greatly appreciates what Blitz did but will probably not be able to say anything

Yeah, called it, fuck you Mamon I'm going to call him Mamon now idc he deserves it

HE SAID IT! "Good enough for WHAT?"

Oh you're cool I like you a lot

GOOD SONG BUT I STILL HATE YOU TWO

Oh God no the makeup it's going to be really bad right? This is going to be really bad

HE CAN'T FIT NOHOOOOO

Okay I can't even like HE THINKS OZZIE IS WITH HIM BECAUSE HE BECAME FAMOUS FOR MAMMON AND I'M FUCKING CRYING

HE TOOK OFF HIS HAT HE THINKS OZZIE ONLY LIKES HIM AT HIS BEST I CANNOT BE FUCKING KINING THIS JESTER THIS MUCH THIS IS UNFAIR

Okay Ozzie again ILY BUT THE WAY HE MOVES LMAO SDGHABNM, NO NVM, I LOVE HIM EVEN MORE

ANOTHER ONE?? IT REALLY IS A MUSICAL HUH Should've seen it coming

Whatever is Ozzie and Fizz is going to be my favorite song of the episode

"You're messy but i'm messy too" MDHFDDGSH

They kiss, i'm losing it

B L I T Z

Hey who the fuck put me into Helluva Boss

ANOTHER SONG, AND IF IT'S ABOUT WHAT I THINK IT'S GONNA BE I WILL BE SOOOO HAPPY

I would comment on what Mammon said but I need to make the image or else it won't work

"It's about you" "w h a t"

HE CALLED MAMON A CUCK, YOU GO FIZZ DO WHAT MANY OF US COULDN'T DO

Mamon clapping at the performance even tho he knows it's about him is like the same AND opposite vibe of Bruno vibing to his family talking shit about him and Idk how to describe it

Okay but everyone thought it was like a random song he thought it was catchy and when he said Mamon's name everyone just started to process the lyrics He called him out of his abuse and everyone will realize how much he sucks now, at least a lot of them will

THE KIDDDDDDDD

God I was so worried that they were going to do THAT gag, i'm glad it was just Mamon becoming a weird spider

Damn Ozzie that's hot (Pun intended)

THEY ADDMITTED IT, THEY'RE FREE, THEY'RE GDSHADBHAKJLCNDVJAKL I'm those fans screaming in the background that's me, that's us all

"You're going to regret revealing that Ozz" Oh shit these three WILL come back won't they?

[daandyli0n]

About He Came Back au... could you tell us a bit about the "missing" children once they grow up? We know about Gabe, Cassidy, and Charlie, but I'm a bit curious about the other kids! Love u and this au <3

aw, thanks man! yeah i have. Many Thoughts on these lil guys <3

so! they all kinda had to recover after y'know. almost getting murdered. but depending on what happened to them, they either took less or more time to recover (Cassidy took the shortest, Charlie took the longest, out of the main group). this only strengthened everyone's bonds.

now! onto the kids!

Susie:

- she becomes a dog mom :] she gets another golden retriever that she names Lucky II, after her first dog :] she has three dogs at any given time.

- she also adopts a child later on, and becomes a single mother (she's aroace). she names her daughter Clover, another reference to Lucky :]

- she gets into baking. she has shown up on her friends' doorsteps multiple times with either cookies or cupcakes. depends on the day. she works at a bakery.

- just a really bubbly and happy lady, despite everything. she's still got some sass, though.

Fritz (Jr.):

- his and Jeremy's bio parents get back together and he and Jere get a baby sister (Tabi)!! woo!!

- he gets sent to therapy for. a multitude of things: anger issues, the abuse he and Jeremy suffered from their stepfather, and The Incident.

- he mellows out after a few years, but he's still the brave, outgoing kid he was back then.

- they think his scars make him look more badass.

- Cassidy Introduces Them To Being Nonbinary, And He Could Not Be Happier.

- You Bet Your Ass That He Started Wearing A Pirate Eyepatch After Losing Their Eye.

- he is the guy that got Tabi into being a Foxy fan :]

- funnily enough, he grows up to be a child psychiatrist. he wants to help kids like him and Jere, y'know?

- they end up marrying a genderqueer person. good for him :]

- he's still very much into pirates (they're a special interest for them), and he makes that pretty clear. his therapy office has pirate related decor, sometimes he'll talk in a silly pirate voice to cheer kids up, and they still go to see Foxy shows at the Pizzeria. he doesn't care if the kids look at him weird, it makes him happy. :]

Jeremy:

- yeah, uh...he kinda lost his voice after Being Repeatedly Stabbed In The Throat. the doctors honestly thought he wouldn't make it.

- he learned ASL :]

- you thought losing his voice would stop his clownery at school? you fool.

- he got into playing guitar later on, and he owns a music store :].

- he teaches kids ASL when he goes over to the pizzeria to check on Gabe :).

- he confesses to Gabe in '94 by signing out 'I love you.' Gabe got real flustered.

- you don't wanna know how Overjoyed he got when he learned gay marriage got legalized. like, Gabe and Jere were just known as being unofficial husbands, sorta like how Cassidy and Charlie were known as being unofficial partners. but now!! they can Make It official!!

- he still has nightmares pretty often :(

Gabriel:

- he gets more confident over the years :)

- he gives the vibes of an awkward kid who felt embarrassed for being awkward and a lil goofy, but upon growing up just acts as silly and goofy as he wants. let him be a little silly and awkward!! the guy deserves it!!

- when he finally inherits the pizzeria after turning eighteen (long story: i have a hc about there being a Third business partner along with Afton and Emily, and this is Gabe's dad), he does really well, and gets along well with his customers. he is also the only person in Fazbear Entertainment, other than his father and Henry, who seems to have morals, because Jesus Christ.

- he doesn't follow the rule of Fazbear Entertainment where "We Are Not Liable For Anything Bad Happening-" because no!! tell him if something bad happened!! he wants to help fix it!!

- just a really sweet, goofy, and anxious man.

- he's also literally the only person besides Phone Guy (Daniel) who warns people about Afton (O'Hare/Springbonnie). because That's Kinda Some Important Info To Know.

- when Cassidy finally sealed Afton behind a wall, in a slightly illegal way, Gabriel promised not to say anything and also cover for them should word get out (he'd just claim that he asked them to do it).

- Freddy's is still open to this day, it's just moved locations around every few years or so.

- Gabe my beloved <3

the kids, when the og restaurant was still open, always felt uneasy about O'Hare after everything with Afton. is...is he really looking at them, or are they just being paranoid?

yeah, those are the kids i've spoken less about. Cassidy is on a quest to get rid of Afton once and for all, no matter the cost. Charlie is concerned for her partner, but willing to help where she can.

also, bonus!! The Afton Kids!!

they all have. Really Mixed Feelings on their father:

- Elizabeth feels kinda guilty about this whole thing, and really doesn't like thinking about it. she typically tries to change the subject if people talk about her father too much. she doesn't want to think about how her father tried to kill a bunch of kids, effectively because of her. as she's told Michael before, "If hadn't been so fucking stupid and actually listened to him for once, maybe none of this would've happened.." so yeah, she ain't doing well!

- Michael both hates his father for what he did, but can't help but miss him. regardless of the universe, Michael's got some Daddy Issues™️

- Adrian also doesn't wanna think about it too much, mostly because he can't wrap his head around why. it's also because of some weird, kinda traumatic nightmares where his father tries to reach out to him, but that's an entirely different post.

as far as Adrian's concerned, it's out of sight, out of mind. thinking about it brings up Bad Thoughts, and he'd like to Not have those, thanks.

but yeah. It's The Kids! minus Cassidy and Charlie, cause those two are practically their own post.

[beevean]

Top 5 of your most shameful ships from your fav pieces of media

oof. The one question that I am still ashamed to answer on main... :P

Well, whatever, I'm a freak. Under the cut to pretend I still have some dignity:

5) Baroryuu (Great Ace Attorney): it got far more popular recently which I'm very grateful for, but I did not forget the sheer vitriol against it and against Barok when the game came out. Sorry if I think their character development is sublime and I got teareyed when Barok started being so nice to Ryuu, saying stuff like "You are a lawyer of boundless talent" and "I believe that you saved my life" :') also I never believed that the 9 year age gap was a big deal? 24 and 33 are both consenting adults, especially in the context of the year 1900 in which the game takes place in. Please don't infantilize Ryuu, I love him just as much as Barok.

4) Jaspis (Steven Universe): says something about me that I despise Lapidot but like this one a lot. Also I can exploit a quirk in the Stevenverse and look for fics tagged Malachite if I want more of their sweet sweet toxic relationship, to avoid all the fluffy stuff I have no interested in :D but yeah, their dynamic was tragically cut short by the story. I loved the reveal that all that time, it was Lapis abusing Jasper, the cute waifish Gem taking all of her anger and resentment against the last person who dared to treat her like an object... and it just so happens that Jasper has such a warped sense of self worth that she liked being abused, and begged Lapis to come back, because she was so enamored with her power (and Malachite's - "we can fly!" aww). This was a kids show!

3) Sagamaji (Yakuza 0): yes, I really looked at that sleazy 50 something old man lording his power over the poor 24 yo who would do anything to protect his kyoudai, and immediately jumped to the most obvious conclusion. I am trash. I also might have felt something other than fear at the scene where Sagawa chokes Majima in the public toilet. But considering that I found dozens upon dozens of fics with the same premise of "Sagawa forces Majima to Do Stuff because he can", I'm glad I'm not alone, at least. I also like Kazumaji quite a lot, one of my favorite Gay Rival ships even, but that one's super duper popular 😂

2) Isaavor (Castlevania): damn you Stabbing scene, you really rearranged my whole braincells. Not that I also don't like Isaactor in its beautiful tragedy, but in this case, I am stuck between the Western fandom who deadass ignores it, except for one (1) fic I stumbled upon in a kink meme page, and the Japanese fandom who adores it but simply because they find both Trevor and Isaac hot. And I get it, I truly do. But... my parallels... my bonding... my sass... there is Something here, I feel it... like yes it's a crack ship and I love joking about Isaac having Thoughts 👀 about that whip (and those tiddies on trevor's chest), but I don't know, I think they have more chemistry than it looks.

Sonegg (Sonic): DeviantART did a number on me when I was 13. Age gap? Who cares! They want to kill each other really badly? Yeah, isn't that very sexy of them <3 there's only so much attitude Sonic can give Eggman before it looks like he wants to get dem eggs for himself. Plus, all the planning that went into analyzing Sonic to create Metal, hmm, Eggy? 👀 much like Isaavor, I'm stuck in this weird place where I recognize it's a crack ship and I mostly joke about it, but also, they're both foils of each other, they're interwoven as archnemesis, they're more similar than they let on... they have chemistry. Not a cute loving chemistry, but who needs it? :P

[pansexualhousecat]

maybe this is an unpopular opinion but I really don't think Steve is scared of his parents nor that he listens to them like a good little kid etc like I see people portray him, and also I don't believe his parents are super abusive physically

I might sound dumb but this is because of the weed scene. Steve is high yeah but he thinks he's talking to his dad and telling him with sass that "No daaad 🙄 I don't do drugs, just marijuana!" and he obviously said that multiple times to him

people have different kinds of responses and relationships with their abusive parents and I know that. but being from a abusive household I just know that I would never say that to my father because I'm scared of him shitless. I do sass him with other stuff because I learned to defend myself in many ways (this enters on the part that I don't think Steve follows his parents' every command like a scared little kid that he's portrayed as a lot in fics) but I would never even mention that I do weed because if I say that I can already imagine my father's wild eyes while he's coming at me to beat the shit out of me lol

Steve doesn't seem like he's scared of his parents, but that doesn't mean that he suffers less because of how much neglect they caused him. his parents can be abusive pieces of shit and I believe that, but I don't think they're the actively abusive parents who beat up their kid and psychologically terrorise him

I think they're the kind of parents that just... don't like their kid. They had him, liked him for a few years because that's what they're supposed to do and then were like "Well, I really don't like our child so let's ditch so that he leaves us alone" and then neglected him basically all his life. Their abuse comes from lack of love and care; Steve has been beat up to the point of going to the hospital but when they receive the news they're just like "Oh that's sad. Welp bye!" and don't care about his wellbeing and just stay where they are, far away from the child they hate

When they come home and are like "Steve don't do this shit that we don't approve of" he's just like "Yeah yeah whatever" and they just shrug it off because they don't care about him at all

Steve knows that and that's how it messes him up mentally, that's how their neglective abuse affects him and all his life

I don't know if I made any sense, I was just thinking about this like two days ago and I'm not the best at explaining but yeah that's how I view his relationship with his parents

[lowtaxsa]

Simulation Awful Presents: Airships! Just When You Thought They Were Out of Hot Air

Greetings, my lovely and totally unprepared readers! Lowtax here, with another steaming, stinking pile of stupid. Seriously, the things I read for your amusement should be considered a form of self-abuse, but here we are. Today, I've dragged the ever-so-hilarious Tanya von Degurechaff, our resident technical genius (and sass queen), into the fray to help me dissect and ridicule the latest idiocy: cargo airships. Yes, you read that right, somebody out there thinks airships are a legitimate solution to modern logistics. Buckle up, kids, this is going to be a bumpy ride!

According to the fever dream of a blog post written by Eli Dourado, titled "Bring Back the Cargo Airship!", there's apparently a need for these lumbering, flying monstrosities. I mean, who needs supersonic jets or hyperloops when we can just float our cargo through the sky like a wayward Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon? Tanya, my dear, would you like to weigh in?

Tanya: Oh, Lowtax, where do I begin? It's as if this Dourado character's time machine got stuck in the 1930s. It's like they saw the Hindenburg disaster and thought, "Yeah, that's the future right there." I'm sorry, but I can't take anyone seriously who thinks massive, slow-moving airships are the pinnacle of modern technology.

Lowtax: Right? But wait, it gets worse. Dourado claims that cargo airships will be the savior of rural areas, you know, because roads and airplanes apparently can't do that. I guess he thinks the Amish are just itching for an airship fleet. And for some reason, he envisions a future where cargo airships will be used for "high-priority, time-sensitive cargo." Tanya, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't airships slower than a sloth on tranquilizers?

Tanya: You're not wrong, Lowtax. A cargo ship would laugh at the idea of these airships even remotely keeping up with it. And let's not even talk about the energy efficiency of these glorified parade floats. The power-to-weight ratio is utterly abysmal.

Lowtax: I'd say it's about as energy-efficient as a Bigfoot convention at a solar-powered stadium. And let's not forget the minor detail that airships are, I don't know, kind of a massive target? It's like putting a "Shoot me!" sign on a pile of money and expecting it to be safe.

Tanya: Exactly. It's like painting a bullseye on the side of a blimp and then being shocked when it gets taken out by a rogue bird. Not to mention the issues with turbulence and maneuverability. I don't know about you, but I don't want my Amazon Prime packages coming via a method that has the aerodynamic grace of a brick in a wind tunnel.

Lowtax: Dourado goes on to claim that cargo airships will be more environmentally friendly, due to their "lighter-than-air" nature. I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure that just because something is full of helium doesn't mean it's not a gigantic, fuel-guzzling abomination.

Tanya: It's a laughable assertion, Lowtax. The sheer amount of energy required to keep these bloated monstrosities airborne would be astronomical. And, as you mentioned, the helium situation isn't exactly a bottomless well. I wouldn't be surprised if this plan single-handedly depleted our helium reserves, leaving the world's children without balloons for their birthday parties. Way to ruin childhood, Dourado!

Lowtax: But of course, Dourado wouldn't be the first to introduce terrible ideas and not think of the consequences. He's practically a poster child for bad decision-making. And speaking of terrible decisions, he also seems to think these airships would be useful for humanitarian aid. Because nothing screams "emergency response" like a sluggish, cumbersome airship, right?

Tanya: I can just imagine it now, Lowtax. A cargo airship slowly floating towards a disaster-stricken area while people on the ground are desperately yelling, "Hurry up, we need help!" and the airship is just like, "I'm going as fast as I can!" It's the perfect solution for people who want to feel like they're doing something without actually accomplishing anything.

Lowtax: It's like the superhero of uselessness. "Look! Up in the sky! It's...a bird? A plane? No, it's Cargo Airship, here to save the day...next week, maybe!" And you know what? I'd almost forgive all this if there was some kind of silver lining, like, say, these airships being cheap to produce. But nope! Dourado estimates that it would cost around $40 million to build one. That's like funding a small country's space program to develop a colossal, floating disaster.

Tanya: For that kind of money, you could buy a fleet of helicopters, cargo planes, or even invest in developing better, faster transportation solutions. But no, let's spend it on giant, inflatable blimps because that's clearly the smartest option.

Lowtax: If by "smartest," you mean "most comically absurd," then yes, I totally agree. You know what, Tanya? I think we've given this article more than enough of our precious time. I can only handle so much idiocy in one day.

Tanya: I couldn't agree more, Lowtax. It's been an absolute delight tearing apart this ridiculously misguided proposal with you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some actual work to do, like designing technology that doesn't belong in a slapstick comedy routine.

And there you have it, folks, another fantastically ludicrous idea torn to shreds by yours truly, Lowtax, and the ever-witty Tanya von Degurechaff. Be sure to tune in next time when we tackle another harebrained scheme that's so dumb, it makes cargo airships look like a stroke of genius. Until then, stay sarcastic, my friends!

[im-in-love-with-pizza-bites]

Ranch Hand: Chapter 1

Farmer!Veteran!Bucky Barnes X Teen!Reader (Small town and Farmer AU)

Series MasterList

Series summary: You ran away from your nightmare of a family, you found a small town, population 200. In this town you meet a retired army veteran turned farmer who hires you as farm hand. Only mystery will you two be able overcome your pasts together.

Chapter Summary: One awkward car ride later.

Series Warnings: Mentions nightmares, Child abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, war, swearing, mentions death by cancer, please tell me if you see anymore!!! But do so politely please.

Chapter Warnings:

Divider: @skylightlantern

You sat awkwardly in his truck. It's been about 5 minutes and still no sign of human life except for you two. Seriously why was that sign so far from this town.

"How far is town?" You spoke up. He looked at you before back at the road

"About 30 minutes up the road." He told you. "I'm surprised your parents let you ride your bike there. It would take forever."

"I don't know." You said looking at your hands.

"So kid where'd you move from?" He asked you.

"Pennsylvania." You answered truthfully.

"Oh what brings your family to NY?"

"My dad's job." You lied. Your dad passed away when you were 7.

"Okay." He said. He didn't know how to talk to teenagers. Sure he talked to some of the kids in town but he knew them since they were babies. Seeing as he grew up in this town and came back after his time serving in the army. Which he doesn't talk about to anyone except Steve.

Soon you finally started to see houses until finally you were in the main area of town. It was like something you'd seen in a hallmark movie. It was such a cute town.

"You can just drop me here." You said when he stopped at a stop sign.

"No I'm not dropping you on the side of the road. I'll drop you off at the diner. You hungry?"

"No-" You began but then your stomach growled. "A little but I have chips in my backpack." You lied.

"They're crushed then." He laughed.

"I'm fine. Why do you care so much anyway? We just met." You sassed. He looked at you causing you to sink into your seat.

"You remind me of my baby sister Rebecca. Plus it's the least I can do after almost running you over." He said, keeping the indifferent look on his face.

"Okay."

The rest of the ride was quiet until you made it to a small diner. The sign said, Maximoff Cafe. This town might be the place you end up staying, small, inconspicuous, plus no one knows the name. It's perfect. Sure it's not as far as you would've wanted but you weren't in Pennsylvania anymore so even if they do come looking for you they'd probably stick with looking in that state.

"Come on." He said opening your door. You hadn't even noticed he got out of the truck. He helped you out before the two of you walked into the diner. The bell dinged a few people looked up before going back to their conversations except one man. He had blonde short hair, was sitting at the breakfast bar thing. "Steve sorry I was late." Bucky said sitting next to the man.

"It's fine Buck. Who's the girl? Is she one of Rebecca's kids?" He asked smiling.

"No. He almost hit me with his truck so he's buying me lunch to say sorry." You answered.

"Bucky?! You almost hit her?" Steve's attention went back to his friend.

"She was at the end of my driveway on her bike, I didn't hit her."

"My name is y/n what's yours?" You asked the man extending your hand for him to shake.

"Steve Rogers." He said with a smile. "How old are you kid?"

"15 sir." You said sitting down.

"Okay." He nodded along taking a sip of his coffee. You looked at your hands.

"Hey Bucky do you want the usual?" You heard a woman say, you look up a redheaded woman was standing there with a kind smile.

"Yeah, uh the kid is with me." He nodded his head to you. You looked down again fiddling with your hands.

"Okay what do you want hun?" She looked at you.

"A water and can I see a menu?" You asked nervously.

"Oh right! Of course here you go!" She passed you a menu. You read through it while she helped other customers.

"So kid are your parents at home?" Steve asked.

"Yeah." You nodded before setting the menu down.

"You guys just move here then?" Steve asked.

"Yep." You said nervously, why is this guy interrogating you.

He hummed before going back to his coffee. Something seemed fishy about you. He's gonna keep an eye on you.

Lunch went on without a hitch. You order just a small meal, despite being really hungry you don't want to be a burden on this man's bank account. Steve continued asking questions some you answered truthfully some you lied. They are both clearly Ex-military, you can see the chain of a dog tag peaking through the top of Steve's shirt, Bucky on the other hand wasn't wearing anything to remotely represent the US military, but in his car he had his dog tags hanging from the rearview mirror. You know what the chain for a military dog tag looks like because your dad used to wear your great grandfather's dog tags 24/7. Now you have them stuffed in your bag.

"Thank you for lunch." You said to Bucky.

"Your welcome. So what was your business in town anyway? Shouldn't you be helping your parents unpack?" Bucky asked you as he dug through his wallet.

"Oh, I'm gonna try to get a job for some spending cash." You lied about why you wanted a job.

"Oh nice." Bucky said.

"Bucky weren't you looking for a ranch hand you could hire her." Steve whispered to Bucky but you couldn't hear him.

"I don't need a random teenager running around on my farm." Bucky muttered back. Steve sighed whispering the real reason he thinks he should hire you. "She probably hasn't even work on a farm before." Bucky told his best friend quietly.

"Thank you for lunch but I'm gonna go." You said standing up.

"Do you want a job on my farm?"

Taglist: @rachaelswrites @killerqueenfan @lukajim @lrosenblut26 @depressed-barnes @worldssidechick @hanainneverland @littleolive24 @babbsissuperblij @cute2043 @skycaliforniaart @idk-whats-happend @whore-4-thor @chloe-skywalker @retiredfromglad

[fleet-admiral-hiba]

I had this thought for so long after having read "28 years" from @kiame-sama. It's just that good, I tell you.

Anyway, having read Zeno x reader and Silva x kidnapped readee, I had this idea for a very heavy fanfic where, it's not Silva's wife, but Zeno's husband.

Confort/vent fic needed. I will ignore their animation age, cause it does not fit well with the idea.

I'm gonna do it in more parts, I don't want to overwhelm you people. It's a heavy topic

ZENO ZOLDYCK X M! READER

TW: kidnapping, abuse, heavy abuse of science knowledge, murder, torture, mental health issue, physical issue

You were a simple man. You had your mundane job at a bookshop, and you lived in a rather small house. Well it was all that simple. If only you knew, what lurked in the shadows.

That's what you thought when he, the infamous Zeno Zoldyck told you, that now you were his husband and you were going to live with him and his family at Kukuroo Mountain.

But that wasn't the bad part, you had it good. You only had to look at your dear friend, Milla, she had been stuck in that room since she had been taken. And it now was three years. You, on the other hand, given your rather calm and pacific nature, adapted quickly at your new environment. After all, you knew that you escaping was impossible. They were a family of trained assassins, the best in the world. How could a normal guy like you pull off a real escape?

You went for the simple and more realistic route. You did what you were told. And it landed you on a good spot. Three years ago, you would not have roamed around the estate like you do now. You would have been chained to the part of the mansion you call home. Now you walk around free, and you can actually interact with someone. That be the butlers, the kids, Kykyo and Silva, and of course, Millia.

You two bonded easily. Often time you talked on the phone the first few times. But after your chain had been unlocked, you often went to see her, to keep her company and talk about anything. Your favourite activity was watching documentaries. They were such a relaxing activity. Aslo she was the one to introduce you to knitting. After heavy negotiations with his husband, of course. He was, let's say, over protective, but she managed to get her way.

Anyway your life could be better, but for now you had it good. Zeno was rather chill, he isn't exactly over bearing, but he isn't also excessively restricting. You can go out, that being said, you can explore all of Kukuroo Mountain. And that's something. You could have been stuck in a room, 24/7.

It was a day like the other, and you had been reading a book that Zeno gifted you recently. And it was really good. Just thrilling enough to keep you hooked on the reading, but also mysterious enough to let your mind conjure up various possibilities. And you wanted to discuss it with Millia, you bothered her with that news for over a month now, she deserved to know.

The door was, to simply put it, enormous and extremely tightly locked. You had Zeno with you for that reason. No matter how much you tried, you would only injure yourself. "Thank you, see you later for lunch?" you asked, you knew that later that day he had to go out, so you wanted to at least say goodbye before he went out. "I don't know, I think we will head out earlier." With that, and a kiss, he opened the door and then let you go.

"Hey Milli, I finished the book." - "it was time you finished it, pebble" - "yeah yeah, keep the sass up, snowflake". You two went on your chatting for a long long time. Suddenly you both heard a strange noise. Something trying to open something. Footsteps hurriedly moving silently around the door. The May have confused that door for a safe. Cause, nobody is allowed there, apart from members of the family and the dogs knew better.

You told her to hide, but it was to late. You both screamed. You tried to fend off the aggressors, but they were too many to do it alone. The only thing you remembered was the face of terror of Millia.

Meanwhile, the screams echoed around the walls of the mansion. Everyone froze on their spot. One looking at the other. Unfortunately, apart from Kykyo, no other member was home.

You were alone now. Until they came back home, you were alone with Millia, and you had a choice. Meanwhile, a butler finally had a the gut to call the head of the family. "Master Zeno?" - "What is it?" - "w-we... Have... A problem"

[cool-island-songs]

Time to be predictable and say BUTTERS for the bingo

Thank you for the ask and sorry this took 1,000 years!!! Putting this under a cut because it ended up being so long.

I have such weird mixed feeling about Butters, but first and foremost, I don't actively dislike him or feel he gets too much screen time now. There was a period during the airing of the mid-late teen seasons where I stopped finding the show as funny, and I definitely thought they were using him for too many hack jokes. So I associated him with my losing interest in the series, but he's just a lil feller and it wasn't his fault.

Some of the best, most cathartic moments in the series revolve around Butters - his speech that saves Bradley's life in "Cartman Sucks", his speech to Stan in "Raisins" (though where does he get off calling Stan a pussy and then starting an incel movement when his Canadian gf of a few months dumps him???), "Yeah!" in response to "Love doesn't follow a plan!" in TxC, his whole,,, everything in "Super Fun Time", the way he stands up to Cartman in "The Magic Bush", this moment:

Calling everyone a skank, ball chin boy, sassing Trent in the moments before disaster strikes. He's bold, he's ignorant, he's Butters.

I don't think everyone is wrong about him but me by any means, but I struggle with the way he tends to be portrayed in fanworks. He gets uwu-fied even harder than Tweek, and it's more perplexing to me in his case because this kid gets angry.

He represses a lot of rage because he internalizes the things his father teaches him, but his father's punishments are arbitrary, harsh, and contradictory, so of course he's all mixed-up. He's sweet and naive, but he's also angry, misogynistic, and tends to latch onto other more violent, dominant boys like Craig (in the early seasons) and Cartman.

I project most onto Tweek, and will sometimes joke about Butters that I made my choice re: abused fictional blond SP boys onto whom to project and I'm sticking with it. Butters honestly does trigger me because he's the abused kid who is unable to consistently grasp that he's being abused. That's very real. It's played for comedy obviously, but I just think this kid would have serious problems accepting love and dealing with his anger as an adult. You know how people ship Cartman with good mental health ironically? That's me with Butters unironically.

Anyway, because I feel insane having this many mixed feelings about a fake guy, I have a fic idea that will hopefully help me exorcise these demons and become slightly less insane. It's just a gen fic examining the home lives of Butters, Kenny, and Tweek.

Some fave Butterses from fics just because:

the Three Sides series by cocoacremeandgays (v heavy themes)

your princess is in another castle by delmareve

I find sycophantic little shit Butters in Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space by gremlinteeth extremely compelling

There's A Room Where The Light Won't Find You by PBJellie

More Effeminate Than You (orphaned)

pimp Butters in tweek doesn't wanna make some real motherfucking money by Tweekpuncher

(also for "why does he look like that", honestly, just,,,, wtf is up with the hair. i hate drawing it. every time i try to draw butters he looks like ellen degeneres. someone help plz)

[eolewyn1010]

Talking about Encanto - Pepa and Félix

Pepa, the expert dancer, the weather queen, the love of the fandom. Let's go!

Well, Pepa is a damn thunderstorm, and sunshine personified. She lives her emotions in the fullest and lets her environment share in it - that's not supposed to be a weather pun; I just mean she's expressive, emotionally open. The thing that Mirabel, Isabela and to a certain degree also Dolores do, keeping their feelings on the inside lest they be criticized for them? Yeah, Pepa doesn't do that. I mean, she tries, with her "clear skies, clear skies" mantra. Those are basically the only moments when I find her mood swings unsettling because that's when she seems like she's been hardcore conditioned to suppress her negative feelings. And then I'm wondering, did Alma put that pressure on her from the age of five onward? Again, not happy about her child rearing. I can already hear the Alma defenders ready to tell me again how wrong I am to judge her, and honestly, I don't care, because Pepa going "I'm not allowed to have negative emotions, that'll lead to a catastrophe" on every other cloud is exactly what leads to her anxiety and weather outbursts in the first place. I can't even tell to which degree she actually has emotional problems, or maybe is just a bit high-strung and her mood swings and anxiety boil down to her mother's nagging.

And no, Pepa is not abusive for shocking Camilo in that one scene - she didn't do that on purpose, for fuck's sake, and we don't actually have hints that it happens more regularly than in this exceptionally stressing situation. I've seen a take that tried to deduce from Camilo's behavior the patterns children of mentally ill parents learn to avoid confrontations, and that is literally not what is happening there. That's not to say Pepa isn't intense; she certainly is that. But she seems to be better in the moments when she tells her mother, "shut up, mom, this is how I feel right now!" Also, it seems to me that the rest of the family is handling this way better than Alma? Mirabel goes, "oh, this upsets you? Okay, I'm not gonna say the name anymore", Camilo says, "it's okay" when his mom is stressed, Félix... is there ever a moment where he's not instantly ready to validate his wife's emotions? I mean, the biggest thing he ever does is tell Pepa not to rain on Antonio just before his ceremony, and that's not so much denying her feelings as it is "maybe take a step back there, love". Dude thinks the hurricane marriage was "a joyous day", he happily dances with Pepa in the hail. He knew exactly what he was getting into with this marriage, and he decided to embrace it.

I'm actually mildly surprised that Alma liked him from the get-go, because Félix is never going to tell Pepa to get it together for appearances or whatever. Although perhaps it was not his brightest idea to spread the gossip to her during the dinner scene - I mean, he was only complicit in a row of telephone game, but I suppose he could have known that it would agitate her. But that's also part of him never having internalized that toxic mindset of having to keep up sunshine. I can't even imagine that's wanted all the time. Like, don't the Encanto townsfolk have crops or something? Just let Pepa go out to the fields when she's raining, she'll have a blast.

Félix would probably keep her company, too; he always likes being close to her. There's all that physical affection between them - he's kissing her hand, holding her hands, pulling her close during dancing, doing that playful "fingers wandering up her arm" thing in We Don't Talk About Bruno. For all that Disney is keeping it kid-friendly, it's kinda obvious that this is a couple who's not only still very much in love with each other but also, for lack of another expression, still has the hots for each other. They're make-out kids. And just like Agustín and Julieta, their interactions have a bit of good-natured sass between them because they know each other so damn well. No wonder everyone deems them couple goals; I want a marriage that harmonical after well over twenty years. Midlife crisis divorce whomst? Not among the Madrigals! Also funny that Pepa can not only lift Bruno off his feet (well, he's a scrawny little twig of a man), but the first time we see her and Félix on-screen together, she just yanks him up from the floor, too. That woman may be skinny, but she's freakishly strong!

The two of them are similarly affectionate with the kids (not only their own, but all of the Madrigal kids; it's a miracle anyone in this house knows who's parents and who's uncle and aunt, with all of the adults treating all of them as if they were their own). Pepa, getting soft over her baby boy going through the ceremony and getting a gift and a room. Félix, twirling Mirabel in a playful dance move. Pepa, dancing with Isabela as they're setting the table. Félix, bantering with Camilo. They're just such softies.

Now, for one single thing I just don't get: How on earth did the wedding misunderstanding stand between Pepa and Bruno for over twenty years? That must mean that even before Bruno disappeared, they would absolutely not have talked about it for over a decade, which, how did that even happen? Bruno has zero brain-to-mouth filter, Pepa bursts out with her anger, and she was very angry about that; how did they not have the necessary confrontation immediately, or shortly after the wedding? I mean, Pepa is obviously happy to have her brother back and, when he explains stuff to her, she just kinda rolls her eyes at his dramatics as if it wasn't a big deal to begin with, but in We Don't Talk About Bruno, it apparently was a big deal. Or maybe she likes to put on dramatics about it, too; Camilo must have gotten his theater kid vibes from somewhere.

Seems to me the triplets are actually very well in tune with one another, what with having spent forty years together and knowing the others' quirks from birth and gifts from the moment of getting them onward. Have I mentioned I love the triplet childhood fanart? Bruno and Julieta being king and queen of emotional support and Pepa being that fierce, protective sister - great. Them falling back into their sibling relationship after Bruno comes back - even better.

[dearcat1]

https://youtu.be/1QClDX2sexc

Let me give you part of my running commentary in return:

"Save the warnings for somebody who is not broke." Hahaha mood.

Poor dude, though. His mom is a menace.

I already forgot the names of all the characters but that's normal for me. I am strongly disliking the reporter dude.

Reporter wannabe just got left behind by his professor enabler. I'm down for this karma.

Is it weird that I saw the bees and thought: there's probably honey there? I want some. I'm going to go grab my chocolate.

This guy's mom... Dude, that's emotional incest. Getting very uncomfortable. Hello, trauma.

"Annie, no!" But everybody proceeds to watch her do it anyway without trying to stop her. Lol.

I guess they're trapped.

Annie is a badass. We love Annie in this house.

I feel for the psychologist (?) guy (glasses and shirt with squares) but he's an ass and needs to be slapped. On an unrelated note, the actress lady is gorgeous and I'm simping.

Steven Spielberg as pizza guy. Classic. I love it.

Cowboy guy... The fucking audacity. Poor kids.

Haven't you learned your lesson? Don't tell Annie what to do, you filthy muggel.

Jump scare. Not cool.

It took me a second to realize that the house was tricking them. I'm obviously a genius.

Yikes. Mom is really going to go crazy. Also, I think i got the psychologist confused or there's two. Who is the relaxed, diplomatic dude?

So boyfriend dude is actually powerful and Joyce might be willing to sacrifice people for her proof. Catch me not being surprised.

Emotional incest guy is even more of an asshole. I have no idea who is dead or who is alive. I like it. The not knowing, not the assholery.

Joyce needs a slap to the face. The woman has a tunnel vision. I might dislike her more than emotional incest guy, for now. Also, poor dude at least has a better excuse.

I have been offered a donut. My frustrations are a thing of the past.

Did you know there are Oreo muffins? I love it.

Joyce, eff you. Woman better has amazing character development. Leave Annie the fuck alone. I shall smite you.

Joyce got put in their place. Go mind reader guy, I've got a crush. Also, talk about spite: "(name I don't know how to write) designed it to break hearts as hers was broken. To hurt as she was hurt."

"He asked you to be quiet." Yeah, Joyce. Shut the fuck up.

Poor, Stevie.

New crush has a talent for understatement. We love him for the sass, regardless.

Emotional Incest Guy needs to knocked out. I am willing to do the honours.

"I beg your pardon, would you awfully mind letting her go?" Epic.

Why would they leave somebody alone? Also, I get the feeling that crush isn't really there. I sense some fuckery. Emotional Incest Lady tried to warn Katy.

Apparently crush is called Nick. Noted.

So Ellen murdered her abusive, cheating husband. That's why divorce saves lives people.

But the body was of a grown woman. How can that be April? I thought she disappeared as a child.

RIP emotional incest lady.

Fuck you, Joyce

Emotional incest guy got bitch slapped and I got a full oreo muffin for myself. Everything is amazing in my corner.

Shut it, Joyce. You forfeited the right to make decisions.

Joyce, you idiot. But this is also karma.

Now we got into domestic violence. Fuck you, Joyce. I hope the house makes you suffer for the rest of your days.

Emotional Incest Guy actually progressed. Good for him. Love that.

"Steve?" You abusive shit, he left you behind, Joyce. Suffer.

"Bad place." No kidding, Annie.

Well, good. Less money on the demolition crew, I believe.

How did I not even notice that my crush died? Lol. I fail at this crush thing.

Stevie and Annie, BFFs forever.

You got what you deserved, Joyce.

I don't know why you sent this to me but I enjoyed it. You can take some credit for my very nice, chill day.

[tuiccim]

Brassy (Part 2)

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 2038

Warnings: Language, PTSD, Memories of abuse, panic attack

Summary: You’re in a friends with benefits situation with Loki and some of the other Avengers aren’t happy with the arrangement.This part delves a little more into the readers backstory. 

Part 1

———————–

The following week everyone was at the tower. No missions were currently in priority and everyone was anticipating Tony's party on Friday night. Thursday morning you Wanda and Vision cooked a huge breakfast for everyone. Steve, Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Vision, Thor, Natasha, Clint, Tony, and you were gathered around the table. 

"Wanda, these biscuits are delicious." Bucky compliments her.

"Oh, that was all (Y/N). She's the one who makes the biscuits and gravy." Wanda says in her cute accent. 

"Oh, uh... they're good, (Y/N)." Bucky stammers at you.

"Thanks." You say not quite meeting his eye. You could feel across the table how uncomfortable he was giving you a compliment. 

"Where'd you grow up, (Y/N)?" Clint pipes in. You didn't know each other well since he was semi-retired. 

"Kinda all over." You say.

"Military brat?" He asks.

"Runaway." You quirk an eyebrow at him. 

"Really?" He leans forward.

"Long story. You really are as much of a gossip as Nat says, huh?" You decide sass would be the best way out of this conversation.

"Gossip?!?" He looks at Nat, sitting beside you, putting his hand on his chest as if wounded. "Simply because I care about people's history?"

Nat rolls her eyes and shoots you a look. Deciding to hit back Nat says to you, "You're bestie joining us tomorrow?"

You smile with aplomb, "I don't know. Say, Thor, will Loki be joining us for the party?"

"Yes!" Thor replies enthusiastically, "He said he was looking forward to it. He enjoyed the last one so much."

"Aww...I'm so glad. He's a good time." You smirk at Nat.

"Your friendship has done him good, (Y/N)." Thor spouts.

"Done me good, too." You say under your breath to Nat. 

"How did that happen?" Tony asks. 

You look at him innocently, "We met at your last party. And hit it off quite well." You glance at Steve who is giving you a look. 

"My last party, when the ice statue fell over and nearly killed a guest?" Tony narrows his eyes.

"Is that when that happened?" You ask with wide eyes.

Steve clears his throat and directs a look at you.

"What was that about, Cap?" Tony looks between you two.

"Nothing." Steve says but now that Tony has the bone he's not gonna let it go. 

"Do you know what happened there, Cap?" Tony pushes.

"Nope." Steve sits back crossing his arms, never taking his eyes off of you. You are, unfortunately, losing an internal battle to hold in your giggles. 

"(Y/N)." Tony draws out the name. "Did you try to kill one of my guests?"

"Of course not, Tony." You say but then a suspicious cough comes out of your mouth sounding far more like the laugh you were trying to cover.

"That was Pepper's cousin." Tony eyes you.

"I didn't try to kill him. Just maim him a little." You finally confess. "Hopefully he learned that you don't play grab ass without a lady's permission."

Bucky suddenly gets up from the table and leaves. "What's up his ass?" You ask.

"Language." Tony mocks. 

"Oh, fuck, sorry." You say. 

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose clearly frustrated with you. Clint looks at Natasha questioningly and receives a shrug. 

"Yeah. Paul's gotten a little handsy in the past. Probably was a good lesson for him." Tony winks at you dispelling the cloud that had momentarily settled. Breakfast calmed down after that and everyone enjoyed the remainder of the meal. Afterwards, you found Steve and pulled him off to the side. "What the fuck did I do wrong to Bucky?" You ask.

"(Y/N)." Steve says, again pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Sorry. What the hell did I do?" You ask again.

"I don't know." Steve says exasperated.

"Is it just me?" You keep going.

"I really don't know, (Y/N). He hasn't said anything to me." 

"I've wracked my brain trying to figure out what I did or said and I got nothing." 

"You'd have to ask him." Steve persists. 

"That would require him staying in the same room with me for more than 10 seconds. Nevermind." You say and head towards the elevator. Wanda is going that direction, too. "Hey Wanda. Do you think you could help me with my hair for tomorrow night?"

"Of course!" Wanda says and you two head off to her room to talk. 

Later that afternoon you had finished training and decided to head to the kitchen for a snack. You met up with Clint heading the same direction. You pulled out some fruit and cheese to slice and water from the fridge and were happily munching when Steve and Bucky came in looking for an afternoon snack as well. You and Clint were chattering and somehow you got on the stupid games you played as a kid. 

"Do you remember Around the World in 80 days? You know the song that you rubbed in someone's back to make them get a chill?" He asked.

"Never heard of it." You say.

"Really?" Clint says. He turns to the other guys. "Steve? Bucky?"

"Can't say that I have, Clint." Steve says and Bucky shrugs.

"Do it to me!" You say. "Give a girl the chills, Clint." 

You're laughing a little as Clint starts.

"Around the world in 80 days." He draws circles in your back. "X marks the spot. Comma, comma, comma, question mark." He continues drawing on your back. "Stab a lady in the back, watch the blood run down."

"Really?" You hear Steve say.

Clint continues, "Cool breeze." You feel Clint blow on the back of your neck and the world turned sideways on you. In the next moment, Clint says something murky and that's when you felt the hand squeezing the back of your neck. Your eyes dilate and breath leaves. Before anyone realizes what's happening you react, grabbing the knife you had used on the cheese, you have Clint in an arm lock and the knife is pressed to his throat. Somewhere beyond you there are voices but you can't make anything out. Breathing shakily you stare into Clint with body tensed. A droplet of blood is sliding down his throat where the point of the knife has nicked him. 

Carefully Clint says your name. He says it again and calmly asks you to let up. Out of the corner of your eye you make out Steve and things begin to come back into focus. Steve is looking at you with concern. His mouth is moving and he is holding his hands up in an attempt to appear non threatening. Clint says your name again and the world starts to come back into focus. When you realize what you've done you slowly take the knife away from Clint's neck and drop it on the counter. 

"I'm so sorry." You whisper.

"It's okay." Clint says. "I don't know what I did but I did something to trigger you." He puts a hand to his neck and Steve goes to him to check it.

You start shaking uncontrollably and begin to back away. "I'm so sorry." You whisper again. You continue to back up until you feel someone touch your arm. Looking over you see Bucky. 

"Lemme take you to your room, Doll. You need to rest." He says.

"I'm fine. I'll go." You say. 

"Let Bucky help you, (Y/N). Clint will be fine. Just needs a bandaid."

"No, I'm fine. I'm fine." But when you take a step your knees buckle. Bucky was right there to grab you. Holding you up he takes you to your room and sits you on your bed. Kneeling down in front of you he tries to get you to focus on him. "Hey Doll. Come back. You're okay." 

You're still having trouble focusing. Everything is in a jumble. "Doll, Doll, listen to me. Focus on me. What are five things you can see?"

"What? You say.

"Tell me five things you can see."

You're confused by the question but you start to answer, "You."

"Good. Four more things." Bucky says. 

"The door, my bookshelf."

"Good. Two more, Doll."

"The painting, the floor."

"Okay. What are four things you can touch?"

"The bedspread?" You ask, rubbing the comforter under you. Things were coming more into focus.

"What else?"

"My leggings. My shirt."

"Good. One more."

You reach your hands out to his face, "Your stubble." 

You feel a slight rumble from him as if he's chuckling. "Good, Doll. What are three things you can hear?"

"Your voice, my voice, Wanda's playing music in her room." 

"Two things you can smell."

You take in a deep breath. "My lotion. Your cologne."

"Last question, what's one thing you can taste?"

"Fear." You whisper.

"Yeah." Bucky looks in your eyes. "You back with me?"

"Yeah." You put your head in your hands. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Doll. We all got shit in our past that makes us a little crazy. Want to talk about what happened? Can you remember?"

"Clint and I were talking. He was doing that around the world thing on my back and...and...he grabbed the back of my neck, didn't he?"

"Yeah."

"Shit." You rub your face. "I'm so sorry." You say again. "I just...I didn't think...I didn't know...I, I…"

"Come back, Doll. Look at me."

You focused on Bucky's face. Looking into his blue eyes. You don't think you'd really noticed how blue they were before. "So, touching the back of your neck is a trigger for you?"

"Yeah."

"Care to tell me why?"

"My stepdad used to hold me down by the back of my neck when...when he…nevermind. I just don't like the back of my neck touched." 

Bucky's face took on such a sad look that you couldn't stand it. "Don't look at me like that." You said. "I'm fine. I'm fine." You repeated.

"What can I do for you, Doll? Do you need a drink?"

You just shake your head not looking at him.

"What can I do?" Bucky repeated. Finally, you looked up at him. The caring in his eyes broke down your restraint and you reached for him. Wrapping your arms around his neck. He seemed shocked for a moment but then his arms went around you. He sat back and crossed his legs, pulling you into his lap. You curled into him. He could feel you shaking still. He held you. Your face nestled in his neck, he stroked your hair and occasionally rocked you back and forth. You weren't sure how long you stayed like that. It was the first time in a very long time you felt safe. Sheltered. 

Finally, you lifted your head and suddenly felt embarrassed for the vulnerability you had shown. Extricating yourself from Bucky, you scrambled to your feet. "Sorry. I, I'm, I don't know why I did that. I'm sorry. I..I'm sorry." You stutter.

Bucky gets to his feet and chuckles. "It's okay, Doll. You feel okay? You need anything else?"

"No, I'm okay. I'm good. Uh, thanks. I'm gonna go."

"It's your room, Doll. I'll go."

"Right. Okay." You watch as he walks to the door. He pauses before leaving.

"We've all been there. It happens. Clint's a good guy. He won't hold it against you."

"Thanks, Bucky." You say as he heads out the door. 

You feel absolutely drained but feel the need to find Clint and apologize. "F.R.I.D.A.Y., Where's Clint?" 

"Agent Barton is in the common room."

You find Clint sitting in the room flipping through tv channels with Steve and Sam. He looks up at you and smiles. "You okay, (Y/N)?"

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry." You ask.

"Yeah! I actually got the remote away from Sam!" He chirps.

You laugh lightly.

"We've all been there. No harm, no foul." Clint says kindly.

You lick your lips and nod. "Thanks."

"Wanna watch something?" Clint offers.

"I'm good. Thanks. Think I'm gonna turn in early."

"Night, (Y/N)." Clint says.

"Night, guys." You say as Sam waves and Steve echoes your good night.

Sleep claimed you quickly that night. A blessed release from your normal torment. 

Part 3