#so yeah especially when men are using like ‘beautiful women’ tags on my posts

[clingylilhoneybee]

Some things I’ve experienced as far as shifting from she/they to fully they has been accepting people are going to say whatever they want despite what we have, buuuuut bt but are less likely to do so if it’s just a solid “they” if that makes sense ? i am not good at explaining and I don’t mean this to sound a way i just wanted to be like i love u I understand the cringe when someone calls you a woman and its super fun and super valid if at any point you just start using they all together c:

I appreciate the thoughts. As I’ve said, my take on my own gender is super nuanced and honestly not worth explaining in its entirety on here (except I think I may have an old post where I go off abt it in the tags lol) but with my feelings, I don’t anticipate only using they/them pronouns or no longer using she/her pronouns anytime soon

[kissitbttr]

TJANK FUCKING GOD YOURE TALKING ABOUT THE R@PE SHIT IN THIS FANDOM. I'm actually in disbelief of how often it's being written. And I get the whole 'dont like, then scroll' and whatever, but when I open up my dash/tags and the first FIVE FUCKING FICS are r@pe fics???? And there's more every day, by the same, but also newer writers??? Wanna know what that is? Normalization. There's one blog on here that's so so so bad for it. And honestly, I get darker content, and I get the interest in rape from a psychological and conditional aspect, but that is when it's being taken seriously. These writers on here? Yeah, they're not fucking taking it seriously. If I see one more '💕🌷🎀' on a r@pe fic, I'm going to fucking lose it.

I can't imagine showing a survivor of SA one of these fics and telling them there is more like it. Like... How embarrassing. But the excuse is that the writers were SA'd and that this is the way they can work through their trauma. Personally, that literally does not add up to me. But! I'm not a psychologist so I can't dictate how someone works through their trauma. But, I can have an opinion on what they put on a public domain. And that's where the whole COD fandom issue lies. There is literally no healthy discourse. If you ask someone why they write about r@pe, they either block you, publicly slander you like you're the idiot for asking about a r@pe fic (???), or tell you to fuck off or something. Like... Why can't we just have a healthy discussion about it?? ESPECIALLY in a fandom with a pretty large female following. We SHOULD be talking about this not being hostile to each other, writers and readers alike.

Idk, sorry for the word dump. I spent four hours talking to a friend about this (who doesn't have Tumblr) and the general consensus was the same. I wish people could just think a little more critically. Just because you have a kink, or think somethings hot, doesn't always mean it's okay. And when you're consistently writing about it as a way to work through it, and posting it online, that just might be a sign that you should talk to a professional, cause there's nothing wrong with getting a second opinion.

took the fucking words outta my mouth babe. you are so RIGHT

tbh i never seen someone actively open about their trauma and say that they write the r*** fics as a way for them to cope. that’s definitely new to me. i mean, i’m no expert too and i can’t exactly say and tell them how to feel but yea that’s a little… bizarre. whether or not they’re using that as an excuse so they can write it i have nothing to say abt that. but if it’s a lie then they can go fuck themselves.

it’s not only this fandom i believe, right? there’s gotta be more and that’s the most fucked up thing about it. like i do not need to know you’re some mentally fucked individual who enjoys writing and reading about r*** content, u keep that shit to yourself. do not bring that bullshit here.

it’s pretty saddening to know that telling ppl to fuck off is their only response. which makes me realized that they are only good for one thing. how could you not have any ounce of decency in you to actually be aware of those things and realize that r*** is not okay and will never be okay?? I don’t care what’s the excuse or whatever reasons u want to bring to the table. if u don’t wanna talk about how r*** takes the joy out of a SA victim and leave a permanent scar in which they have to live with everyday, then there is no point in writing them at all.

and also, you know what saddens me more? the blogs that normally write them comes from women. because, man… you should’ve known better… you should’ve known that no woman on earth could ever live in peace knowing that one exact fear is the reason why we are so terrified of going out alone. why we are so terrified of men. why would you ever go out your way and change these beautiful characters to be some sort of evil spawn ?? weird ass bitches.

don’t be sorry for the word dump!! because i’m glad that some of you came into my inbox and expressed your thoughts about this particular bullshit.

they do need to get some help. and i mean this in the most nicest and disrespectful way possible tbh.

[avatar-state-kate]

No that Barbie gendered criticsm post was in specific reference to a post where someone accused people—critical of the Barbie movie for being a commercial/just Not being indie arthaus groundbreaking cinema—of being misogynistic because “no one does this for transformers or marvel” (which seems misogynistic as well. Comic books aren’t “for boys” dolls aren’t “for girls” but the way these products are being marketed to us as freethinking adults is perhaps something we should question)

Oh, I got that, my tags were more in reference to the "consumerism seems girl-coded and military propaganda boy-coded" bit. That joke format implies that people are projecting gendered stereotypes onto something, except the idea of their being a gender link to these properties is by design - Barbie is being marketed to women and girls, and the cultural idea of what women and girls do/should like and Marvel is marketed to the cultural idea of what men and boys do/should like.

I'm not disagreeing with OP of that post, I'm disagreeing with the idea that there is no gendered level, especially with what is being marketed - consumerism is much more aggressively marketed to women ("women be shopping", the pink tax, women as responsible for household shopping etc.) and the military is marketed more to men. I think this level of analysis is being ignored in favour of calling anyone excited for the Barbie movie stupid for not knowing it's an ad. Which that's a case-by-base basis, definitely most people are going in uncritical but that's true of most media so I wouldn't call anyone out here for being especially stupid.

But yeah, people have always pointed out that toy brand shows are just ads, and we have been complaining about the military-industrial complex in film, but also with everything when its a "girl" (and like again this is marketing, I never liked barbie or girl toys as a child so like my girlhood isn't being represented here, and maybe the idea that brands get to decide what girlhood and boyhood is is a more interesting discussion) property the analysis gets weird - like you have good faith criticism and then people being much more aggressive then the conversation might need.

Like the movie hasn't come out yet and we have already gone from the over-praising the thing to backlash/hatred of the thing - again both phases have genuine and reasonable arguments to them - be excited for a movie with practical sets in a CGI cinema landscape, to see some of our biggest stars together, to see a movie that looks fun- be critical of a film that is a 2-hour long commercial for a doll brand, be critical of a film that supports rampant consumerism and the beauty industry - but the intensity is...a lot already, again for a movie we haven't actually seen yet

TLDR: I don't think it is sexist to critique this movie, or the existence of criticism or a backlash is wholly sexist, however, like with most things parsing out where the genuine feelings stop and sexism ramps them up is an impossible thing to parse. I can believe this while also feeling like anyone trying to say there is no gender element is wrong - like it's Barbie, a toy that even girls who don't play with Barbie are told is representative of their childhoods - like gender analysis is called for but just maybe not the one that is happening.

[canichangemyblogname]

Ever notice how a lot of times when a reactionary anti-feminist ("rad fem") who has been driven to transphobia and a pro-colonial worldview through a desire to defend the myth of the "wonderful woman" posts a picture of herself on places like TikTok or Tumblr, she is observing normative gender quite ideally? For people who go on about how evil gender is and how "gnc" they are or their movement is, they sure seem unwilling to put down gender norms. What do they think a gender norm is if not the adherence to a feminine ideal?

They're reblogging posts about how the beauty industry is exploitative, and the next post, an hour later, is a picture with a caption like "Rate my eyeliner look for today" or a picture of their Mary Janes and floral socks and perfectly smooth legs with a caption like "serving looks at the gyno. #pap smear." They post about how capitalism drives women to consumerism and to adhere to beauty standards, and then five posts later, they post a picture of their new balayage and beach waves with bangs as they drink a Starbucks mocha. They literally treat womanhood like an internet aesthetic and yet have the audacity to say that (their) gender is not a performance and that their expressions of womanliness are "natural," "holistic," and "authentic." It's one thing to recognize a social norm and how you conform to it, and it's another thing to exempt yourself from it, often by "natualizing" it. They literally shit on other women for doing or liking the same things as them! Trans women are a "caricature" of women in "clown make-up," but not a cis woman who wears the same things and does her makeup the same way. It's like they're unwilling to admit that they-- personally-- operate within a patriarchal framework.

They make posts about how everyone else's expression of gender and desire is "disgusting," "violent," or deviant when many of their blogs will also be a literal archive of how they conform to gender norms and their fetishes/desires. Because what's "disgusting" is the subversion of the sex caste. They don't actually care about desire and gender; they care about other people's desire and gender as a means to police normative gender. Because many of them commit their blogs to a certain (idealized) aesthetic, like cottage-core, Barbie-core, cute core, Lana Del Rey-core, fairy-core, Hello Kitty-core, etc. Everything, especially the women they feature on their blog, is an ode of sorts to normative gender. It's not uncommon for the blog to also feature literal fetish content, complete with images of the "ideal woman" (the "it-girl") in lingerie smoking cigarettes and lounging on a couch like right out of a Tarantino film. They assume they are immune from expressions of desire and gender performance and even immune from the patriarchy affecting their gender and desire, down to the things they think look "cool" and "nice."

And if it's not pictures of women in the "grunge-goth-mommy" aesthetic; it's stockings and heels and short skirts and crop tops and bralettes and white slip dresses and bows on a thin white woman with tags like "Real Women" or "Female gaze coded" or "What we could be if men didn't sexualize us." Then, ten posts later, they're reblogging a post about how heels were designed with the express purpose of oppressing women and destroying the tendons in their feet (historically untrue), lingerie is a multi-billion dollar industry designed to make women feel self-conscious about their body, and women who like these things are "sex traitors." Okay. Yeah. So you just hate other women...

Their hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance are always on full display. They hate gender norms so much that all they do is defend them. They defend them while tearing down the women who fit them, as well as the women who cannot conform to them. Women have to walk a thin line to be seen as a "real one," forced to observe a certain set of norms to avoid inspection for non-conformity while taking care not to be too womanly, too "it-girl," or else she is a sexist caricature of herself. They stick women between a rock and a hard place and ask them to become the impossible: just feminine enough that they can be effectively sorted into their caste, but not too feminine.

Ultimately, they want the aesthetics of feminism, not to actually put in the work, and certainly not to make themselves uncomfortable with the challenge of these things. Feminism is a convenient label that they can use as a shield to-- well-- shield themselves from accountability and accusations of bigotry or regressive anti-woman, anti-liberatory ideals. Feminism to them is not fighting for the dissolution of class and class differences, but for their defense and reinforcement. Their idea of a "woman" is patriarchal, but they argue it's not because they, personally, aren't an "it-girl."

[xpeachesncream]

bands | five

[ series masterlist ]

summary: jeon jungkook has it all: the looks, the fame, the money, the women. being considered the sexiest man in the industry, he finds no complaints about the way his life is going nor does he find any reason to apologize for the way he approaches it. he is a force to be reckoned with - until he meets you.

pairing: stripper!reader x idol!jjk

genre: (18+) strip club/nightlife au, post grad au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.2k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, implied nudity/nudity (at the nightclub), teasing, sprinkle of breast touching, alcohol consumption, pole dancing, straddling/lap dances, slight degradation/implied degradation, rough handling, flashback scene

note: took a stab at this jungkook one shot + wips are updated!

tags: @brightcolorsoffendme @min-nicoleee @eggbutnotyolk @ra-mun-e @miinoongi@ephemeralkookie @ppeachyttae @thebeebi @bluesharksandfish @kooafraid @liriaus​ @thisartemisnevermisses​ @ggukkieland​ @preciouschimine​ @sunniejinnie​ (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

'Do better' is exactly what Jungkook does, because he wants you, and he wants you bad. He thought he had you wrapped around his finger, when in fact, you had him wrapped around yours and he was crumbling by the minute. It's a little entertaining to you, seeing his name pop on your phone throughout the day with texts like:

[jungkook]: have a good day today, pretty lady.

[jungkook]: :)

[jungkook]: can't stop thinking about you and how good you looked last night.

[jungkook]: hope you aren't overworking yourself.

[jungkook]: can i call you tonight?

You would chuckle every single time, seeing him weak for you. You weren't gonna lie - you were fucking weak for him too, cause lord, who wouldn't be with Jungkook? The only difference is that you were just the stronger one between the both of you.

Ha, ain't shit but a hairflip. You for sure got this from your mama.

"To the club for Yoongi hyung's birthday!" Taehyung yells after they finish rehearsals for the next set of performances scheduled to happen in the next week and filming some content for Youtube.

"To the club-club!" Namjoon responds, throwing his hat back on.

"Excited to see some pretty girls shaking their ass and titties in my face." Yoongi lets out a cocky laugh.

"No private show?"

"No, hell no. I want 'em all." Yoongi smirks. "Jungkookie is the only one who loves his private shows."

"Yeah, yeah." Jungkook brushes it off with a chuckle.

"Are we finally gonna figure out who she is tonight?"

"Nope. She's not working tonight. Good try." He feels relieved saying that because to be honest, he's feeling completely and utterly selfish with you. He didn't wanna share, not with the guys. Hell no.

Except he's gonna have to tonight and he has yet to learn that.

» FLASHBACK

Jimin had just solidified the plans with Yoongi a couple of hours ago, learning that he wanted to head to the strip club for his birthday. And yeah, everyone has their own favorites. Everyone has their own agenda coming to the club. But, Yoongi says he wants to shut down the club for the evening so all 7 of them can enjoy the general floor together.

So, Jimin makes it a goal to grant Yoongi's wishes, but he also has another thing on his mind.

He had been picking up on Jungkook's little habits lately, even though he was notorious for always being on his phone and for barely paying attention to the environment around him. Jimin just knew he had it bad for you, miss new girl, simply by how his mood would change whenever he looked at his phone. How he was always at the club. How he always got shy and beat around the bush whenever you were brought up.

He just knew.

And to be honest, he was concerned. Moreso for Jungkook and his safety. Jungkook and his feelings. Things didn't sit right for him, and he worried that you were only out for his money. For his fame. For the attention. For all the wrong things. And he didn't like that shit one bit. He wasn't gonna let anyone take advantage of his little brother like that, he wouldn't give anybody the chance.

He wants to figure out who exactly you were. He wants to find out what you're all about. He wants to finally meet you face to face.

"Mr. Park Jimin!" Mr. Bigs says with a loud laugh. Jimin gives him a small smile as he tugs the brim of his hat down and approaches him. "How can I help you?"

"Yoongi's birthday is coming up at the end of the week, is it possible to shut the club down so the rest of the guys can enjoy the general stage together?" He pulls out an envelope and hands it to Mr.Bigs, his smile getting bigger the more he counts all the dollar bills inside.

"Whatever works for my boys." He laughs.

"Thanks." Jimin chuckles. "Uh, one more thing - if it's not too much of a bother, could I request a specific dancer to be out on the floor that night?"

"Yeah, of course you can. Who's the lady we're thinking of?"

"Whoever Jungkook's lady is." Mr. Bigs laughs so more and nods.

"Ah, I'm assuming he wants her there, huh? He really loves watching that young lady, but hey, whatever works and makes ya'll happy right?"

"Yeah, I suppose he does. I'd like to keep the request between us though." Jimin lies.

"Don't you worry about it. I'll make sure Phoenix is there that night. I'll have all of this covered so Mr. Min Yoongi has a fantastic birthday." He winks.

"Thanks, sir. We'll see you then." Jimin nods his head before heading out. Mr. Bigs waits until Jimin is out the door before pulling out his phone to give you a call.

"Hello?"

"You need to be here Friday, special request."

"From who? Can't I just take the—"

"Stop questioning me little girl, you hear me? Your ass better be here on Friday or else I'm taking a chunk out of your fucking tips and check." He abruptly ends the call.

» END FLASHBACK

And so the infamous Bangtan Sonyeondan boys are dressed, whipping out their cleanest, black attires from their closets. They take a couple of shots back to back before they're loading into their cars to be driven to the strip club. The club is empty, except for a few body guards, bar staff and the dancers.

"Oh shit, we get our own private show? Like actually?" Yoongi says, stepping into the empty club that was more than ready for the boys' arrival. There were topless dancers waiting alongside the stage with trays filled with different drinks and shots.

"Happy birthday, hyung." Jimin says, playfully massaging his shoulder.

"God, this is such a good way to end the day." Namjoon takes a shot from one of the beautiful ladies near the general stage. He smirks at her as he eyes her up and down, licking his lips when he realizes how fucking skimpy the bikini bottom she has on actually is. "Sheesh."

"Boys!" Mr. Bigs' deep voice comes from the other end of the club as he approaches them. "Please, enjoy and help yourself to whatever you like. Happy Birthday, Mr. Min Yoongi." He winks.

"Thank you, sir!" Yoongi yells as he grabs another shot from the tray. The rest of the boys follow suit, taking more drinks and eyeing the ladies around them, but Jungkook helps himself to a seat in the front of the general stage.

"Someone misses his private lady." Hobi jokes, causing him to shake his head.

"Whatever, as long as I don't have to share her with you guys." He spits out. "What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine." Jungkook finishes jokingly with his infamous line. It seems like a full house of dancers tonight, either on the sidelines or now entering the general stage. Jungkook rests his foot on his knee, ready to get the night started so he can enjoy, but also hurry on home afterwards to try and hear your voice.

But you were in the back room of the club.

No one really knew what was going on outside unless you had been outside already. Mr. Bigs gave you all a pep talk saying each and every single one of you needed to be on your best behavior, especially out on the floor. Bigs and his men refused to name the special guests just so none of you would psych yourselves out and mess up. You didn't know you were soon going to be catering to the BTS boys together, and Jungkook didn't know you were going to be one of the main dancers on stage either. His eyes were glazing over the rest of the girls on stage because they weren't you, to be honest. I mean, hell. It's always nice to be around topless, beautiful women. But he had gotten so used to seeing you. Your face. Your body. Touching you. Smelling your strawberry scent.

Jimin situates himself next to Jungkook, the rest of the group aligning themselves along the seats in front of the stage. He eyes Jungkook, taking note of how uninterested and bored he was - so bored that he even caught him trying to hide his yawn. Maybe he was just tired, as with everyone else, but that just meant his special lady friend wasn't out yet.

"You three, up. Now." Bigs says, coming into the backroom from the floor, pointing his finger towards the curtains. "Phoenix, remember. Don't throw no stupid ass attitude out there, playing hard to get like you're some kind of queen." He scoffs in disgust before dismissing the three of you. You roll your eyes, already highly irritated being there since it was originally your day off and no one wanted to give you answers as to why you needed to be there. Mr. Bigs had almost all the dancers out here to tonight, why the fuck would he need you?

The lights are off for a quick second before they dimly shine onto the stage, the music playing loudly in the background. You step onto the stage, your eyes instantly landing on the man front and center.

Jungkook.

You swallow the lump in your throat seeing the rest of the boy band around him, already smirking and licking their lips at the sight of you and the two other dancers on the stage. Jungkook adjusts himself in his seat, fixing his jacket as he sits upright to lean forward onto his knees. His eyes are glued onto you, almost like he's confused as to why you're here right now.

Why you're giving him and his boys a show.

Jimin catches Jungkook's slight uneasiness, his gaze following Jungkook's onto the stage. His eyes were set on you, the pretty lady swirling her body around the silver pole in the middle of the stage.

"She's fucking beautiful." Yoongi says, immediately getting up and reaching into the inner breast pocket of his jacket to pull out some bills. He stands in the front, almost blocking Jungkook's view of you. He catches Yoongi placing a couple of hundreds under the bottom portion of your fishnet bodysuit. The bodysuit that captured your curves so perfectly - thighs thick and full, ass cheeks popping out of the thong portion, your titties and pussy very visible through the fishnet material. God, you were a fucking beauty. Jungkook watches as you squat in front of Yoongi, bouncing up and down before you get up scandalously and shake your ass in front of his eyes. "Ohhhh shit." Yoongi bites onto his bottom lip as he laughs and tucks more bills near your thigh.

"It's his birthday!" Hobi yells, causing you to smirk at Yoongi and grab his hand to let him feel up on your breast. Jungkook shifts in his seat, a little envious of how Yoongi was able to touch you in that way before he was able to. Like fuck? Could it be my birthday too? Could it be my birthday everyday? He was never gonna let this one go. He continues to watch as you push Yoongi back onto his chair and give him a birthday lapdance.

"Happy birthday." You say softly in his ear before getting back up on the stage to do some tricks on the pole.

One, two: Turn upside down.

Three, four: Wrap them legs around.

Five, six: Treat the pole like a slip and slide.

Seven, eight: Flip back up and slide back down.

"Damn, it's my birthday over here too." Jin says tapping his lap and tossing a roll of bills near you before looking over at Taehyung. He's also throwing bills onto the stage, but he's focused on the other main lady off to the side. Still doesn't mean he isn't throwing bills your way either, cause he is every chance he gets to look over at you.

"Like what you see?" Jimin jokes with Jungkook.

"Yeah." Is all he says as he's approaching you. He gives you this look, which you don't understand what it means, but you didn't have the time to decipher it right at this moment. You watch Jungkook closely, his mouth pressed tightly together as his eyes are still scanning your entire body before he brings them back up to meet your eyes. You crawl towards him seductively, your fingers lightly brushing down his neck before you gently tug on his jacket. He doesn't say anything as he tucks bills near your titties, giving you one last look before sitting back down in his seat.

The main show comes to an end pretty quickly afterwards, other dancers making their way to the poles if they wanted or kept serving the boys whatever they needed. You hop off the stage, collecting your bills and folding them tightly together, tucking it deep on the side of your breast to keep it hidden. You head outside to get some air because what the fuck just even happened? You weren't expecting that whatsoever, even though you knew better than that. You should have always thought there would be a chance you'd have to do what you just did. You should have always been prepared.

"Lil mama, you looked good dancing up there in that tiny ass suit you got on." One of the men in Bigs' crew said as they lingered outside the backroom door, smoking cigarettes. "What do you say? Wanna come home with me so I can help get that off?" He smirks, approaching you.

"I'm only out here to get some air, please don't come up to me with all that bullshit." You spit out, causing the guy to furrow his brows at you.

"This one's got a little fire in her." He laughs, coming closer to you. "Whatchu gonna do if I don't take no for an answer, miss thang?" He grips your wrist tightly. You try to break free, but after tonight, you were too fucking tired to even deal with his stupid shit. "Oh, she's weak now?" He grips tighter, making you wince as you try to pry him off. He brings you closer, his face inches away from yours - so close you can smell the smoke and alcohol mixed together, coming off of his breath. Suddenly, you hear someone clear their throat behind them, their attention going from you to the individual. "Oh shit, it's Jeon Jungkook." You watch as the man lets you go, Jungkook standing there with his hands in his pockets and jaw clenched. He doesn't say anything besides nod to acknowledge them. "Big fan, dude."

"The fuck? I had my private show scheduled with Phoenix almost 10 minutes ago. You guys have been holding her up?" Jungkook is obviously throwing on an angry act because you didn't have any private shows booked tonight.

"Shit, my bad. I didn't know—"

"You didn't know cause you were too busy being a jackass?"

"Mr. Jeon, no disrespect here. I'm sorry I took time away from your show. Please, take whatever time you need with her - on me." He says, his friends silently standing by as they throw their cigarettes and go back inside.

"Yeah, it should be on you for fucking wasting my time." Jungkook doesn't say anything else, but he does glare at him until he's almost tripping over himself making his way back inside the club. "You okay?" Jungkook asks, coming closer.

"Yeah. Thanks." You rub your hand up and down your arm, the cold air nipping at your skin.

"I thought you said you weren't working tonight."

"I wasn't supposed to. Bigs just told me I was requested to be here tonight." You raise your eyebrow. "Wait, how did you not know? I thought it was—"

"You thought it was me that requested for you?" He chuckles. "Funny that you think I'd share you with the guys."

"Sooo?"

"I don't know." He shrugs. "Maybe he just wanted his best dancers to be here."

"Hm." You slightly smirk at the compliment. "Best dancers, huh?" He rolls his eyes and playfully sighs.

"Yeah, don't milk it." A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

"You gonna be here all night?"

"Possibly since it's Yoongi's birthday." You nod. He stays silent as he looks at you for a bit, his head slightly cocked to the side.

"So does he get a pass for tonight?" Jungkook chuckles and shakes his head.

"Only cause it's his birthday."

"Mm, not even because he's your senior or anything of the sort?"

"Nah." He smiles a bit. "Not at all. I hope you know I'll never forget it."

"Please, I didn't know Jeon Jungkook was a drama actor, too. What can't he do?" You sarcastically say.

"Okay, say whatever you want." He kicks the dust below his shoes as he lightly chuckles with you. It's silent again, but it's a calming silence. There's no awkward vibes or anything of that matter. You begin to rub your arms again, the cold nipping at your skin harshly. "You should get back inside, it's freezing." He watches you shiver in front of him. He isn't sure if he should hand you his jacket, even if he does want to help you out in the slightest bit, but he figures he shouldn't since you still needed to finish your shift.

"Okay." Your expression softens. "See you in there?" He silently nods, watching your hips sway back and forth until you're deeper in the club. The night doesn't end for everyone until a little bit past 2, close to 3am. You're hauling your tired ass back home, Kai struggling and barely making it alive as soon as you walk through your front door.

"Jesus fuck, thank god." He shuts the TV off and covers his entire body with the blankets.

"Kai, I told you that you didn't have to wait."

"Well until you're out of the club, this is my life now." Why was everyone so dramatic tonight? You chuckle to yourself.

"Okay, if you say so. Night bubba."

"Night." He yawns. In about 2 seconds, he's back to snoring loudly, causing you to laugh to yourself as you get ready for bed.

[jungkook] 3:14am: home?

[y/n] 3:17am: yes. you?

Maybe Kai didn't have to stay up for you after all.

[jungkook] 3:23am: yeah.

[jungkook] 3:24am: i'm assuming you had a really long day today so sleep well, Y/N. can i call you tomorow?

[y/n] 3:20am: you can, i don't know if i'll answer though. :) goodnight jungkook.

And so Jungkook smiles to himself before grabbing a water and heading back to his dorm room. He was slowly getting used to your sarcasm and attitude, being that he has never had to deal with someone being this way towards him. It was fun, and new.

"So was your lady actually there tonight?" Taehyung asks with Jimin sitting next to him.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Jungkook scrunches his nose before turning on his heel to walk away.

"Wow, Jungkookie is being selfish. Namjoon hyung go scold him." Namjoon laughs.

"Jungkookie don't be selfish." Joon says nonchalantly just to keep Taehyung happy.

"Yeah, yeah." He shuts himself in his room to get ready for bed. Jimin silently sits next to Taehyung as they relive the night's events before going to bed. He had seen you and Jungkook talking outside, which only solidifies his assumption.

And he was onto you.

i'm good on that pussy shit; i don't want what i can get, i want someone with secrets that nobody, nobody, nobody knows

track six: gangsta - kehlani

[weenfanaccount]

(((( re: tags on last post)))) ((long as fuck))

Was in aneurism-inducing position of observing these terf circles from the sidelines, reading every post thoroughly to try and grasp how someone I'd had so much love for, whose politics were previously sound enough & who had identified as trans in the past could arrive at that point ideologically. something i noticed straight away was the internal language & how it seemed transposed straight from 4chan far right groups - surprise surprise terfs r conservatives posing as radicals 🤪🤪who knew

also whilst this was going on I asked my 52 year old conservative voting girlboss adjacent mother if she knew what a 'terf' was & when she (understandably) said no & i had to explain, her response was "yeah that's really hatetul and odd". one of the main terf assertions is that "women in the real world agree with us", "only a tiny collection of terminally online 'woke' people are in support of trans rights" etc. when the case is more like: women that aren't exposed to media-engineered bathroom moral panics don't even think about these supposed "issues" because realistically they never encounter them. it's weird and delusional to reduce a sex organ to the common denominator of all evil and to define "men" as sinister penis-having monolith, versus innately angelic women. definitely doesn't line up neatly w my experiences, lol.

if anything this line of thinking absolves rapists of responsibility by telling them they're hardwired to behave like that, whether you're the brand of terf that believes this hardwiring is biological or sociological. i'm anti makeup but i still compulsively carry out beauty rituals because i live in a society. i want to abolish the social conditions that make me rely upon makeup. i don't exercise the same forgiveness for men that exhibit sexist behaviours because they are moral agents and their actions have consequences that are both material and devastating. obviously. these 'radfem' women claim to be anticapitalist and tout 'sisterhood' yet so much of their scorn is directed at women that are victims of "choice feminism" as a side effect of capitalism. so much of it, especially with the "detrans" arguments i saw, it's largely a case of positioning individual experience as universal truth. self absorbed, solipsistic, and dehumanising.

pointing out the inconsistencies in terf thinking feels like a wild goose chase anyway bc there is so much to cover - it's simultaneously devoid of logic AND scarily faceless and mathematical, ignoring human complexity etc

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

I’m just gonna start tagging all my salt posts “marauders salt” because I have yet more to say, and I want to give people the option of skipping past my incessant whining.  (What’s that?  Stop whining?  No, friend, this is my place to vent.  But I really don’t want to drag other people down, so scroll by if you want something more positive.) 

But anyway, I was just thinking about the discussion that sebastianshaw, esteicy-blog, and others were having about Duggan’s use of “feminism” in Marauders, and how it is a very shallow, surface level feminism that seems to be “men bad, women good, especially beautiful, wealthy white women.”  And especially how Duggan prioritizes the female characters’ emotions, and tends to push aside and ignore the male characters’ emotions, especially anything other than anger.  That was most evident in the latest story, where Duggan invented abuse as part of the backstory of two female characters (Lourdes and Wilhelmina) where abuse hadn’t existed before, and completely ignored two male characters (Christian Frost and Shinobi Shaw) who actually had abuse as part of their canon backstories.  Even though Shinobi Shaw was canonically abused by the same man that abused Lourdes (in Duggan’s retcon), and whom Emma has been repeatedly beating down, Shinobi doesn’t get to be part of Emma’s revenge or Sebastian’s comeuppance in any meaningful way.  Because the real theme of the story is not “dealing with abuse,” it’s “women helping women against male abuse,” (done specifically in a way to prop Emma up as a character.)  

This also got me thinking again about Pyro and the Yellowjacket story, a story that I was okay with back when it happened, but keep getting angry about whenever I revisit it.

So, Pyro gets invaded by Yellowjacket for an unknown period of time (probably at least a few days).  Given how Duggan has been writing the characters, I’m willing to bet that this story would have been taken a lot more seriously if Yellowjacket had been inside Emma or Kate or Storm or Callisto, or one of the characters that Duggan actually cares about.  Then we might have actually looked at Yellowjacket’s actions as a violation of bodily autonomy and privacy, and pointed out how creepy it was that Pyro had one adult and 4 voyeuristic children watching a live-feed through his eyes while he was presumably doing things like showering, changing clothes, going to the bathroom, etc.  (I just KNOW that if it was Emma being spied on during her private moments, there would be a lot of focus on pervs wanting to look at her body, and the violation she feels because of it.)  Not to mention the sheer helplessness of having something inside his body that could kill him at any moment (and Yellowjacket proves that he is, indeed, willing to immediately kill Pyro if he is found out.)

But the situation isn’t taken seriously at all, instead we get jokes about Emma’s wardrobe, and Pyro watching Rick and Morty, and that ridiculous fantasy sequence.  Not only that, but Pyro’s very justifiable anger is treated as a joke.  He asks twice to kill Yellowjacket, and is brushed off by Magneto both times.  Obviously he can’t violate the laws of Krakoa, but Pyro doesn’t get to do anything at all to Yellowjacket, just has to let him go.  Pyro gets to psychically burn Verendi for a few seconds, then Emma drops the link, and again, quickly brushes him off. If anything, she seems somewhat disdainful towards him.  It seems like we are supposed to view Pyro’s desire to hurt Verendi as comically over the top.  There’s only one line that shows any real vulnerability from Pyro, the “You lot have humiliated me in front of my friends....I don’t really have a lot of friends....” and after that we go immediately into him laughing maniacally as he burns Verendi.

And there’s no follow-up after that, at no point does anyone on the crew check in with Pyro to see if he’s okay after that arguably traumatic experience.  Not even a pat on the shoulder and a “Hey man, that was messed up,” from Iceman or Bishop, who seem to be friendly with Pyro.  Or anyone telling Pyro, “Don’t feel bad about it, it wasn’t your fault, could have happened to any of us,” etc.  The only emotion Pyro is allowed to express is anger, and his desire for revenge is treated as a joke.

Compare this to Emma and Kate’s revenge on Shaw.  Emma and Kate also have very justifiable anger over what Sebastian did, and their vengeance is well-deserved.  But while Pyro’s anger is mostly dismissed and treated as “funny,” Emma and Kate’s anger is treated as something to be admired.  They are girlboss queens stepping all over a pathetic foe, and we are expected to cheer for them while they spend an entire issue beating Shaw, torturing him, poisoning him and ripping his eye out.  That’s not seen as “too much,” while Pyro’s desire for revenge apparently is.  Pyro is expected to just step back and accept the single bone that Emma has thrown him, while Emma gets to spend the next several issues continuing to twist the knife into Sebastian, and we’re apparently supposed to be on her side.    

And you could potentially argue that Emma has much great justification for revenge, since Sebastian has done horrible things to her in the past.  Yeah, that’s true, but Emma has already had significant revenge on Sebastian in the past, even killing him at one point.  You could also argue that Pyro needs to learn a lesson about violence and restraint, given his past, and indeed that seems to be the direction Duggan is going with him.  But if that’s the case, someone like Emma or Bishop could have turned the Yellowjacket incident into a teachable moment for Pyro, and actually talked with him about how it will serve their plans better to leave Yellowjacket/Verendi alive.  If nothing else, I would have liked to see a page or two of Emma bringing Pyro out of the dream and actually talking with him about what’s going on.  Maybe then we could have gotten some kind of serious discussion or reaction from Pyro.  But no, he just gets dismissed or ignored by pretty much everyone on the beach, aside from his one moment that Emma allows him.

So basically, Pyro has something bad happen to him, it’s treated like a joke, and his desire to hurt the people responsible is portrayed as over the top and disproportionate.  Kate has something bad happen to her (admittedly something much worse, since there was a chance she’d be perma-dead), and it’s a several issue tragedy, and she and Emma get to act as avenging Furies beating down the evil man responsible.  Their long, drawn-out revenge is righteous and good, Pyro gets a few seconds of psychic pain, and that is treated as too much as Emma quickly cuts him off. 

TL,DR - Duggan really tends to completely dismiss the feelings of male characters in this book, especially Iceman, Bishop, Pyro, Christian and Shinobi, in some kind poorly executed attempt at “Girl power” that isn’t actually very feminist at all.

Deliberately not tagging this as “Marauders,” I don’t want to interfere with the enjoyment of other people who are liking the book.

[fatiguing-thoughts]

“Natural” - Chapter 7 - Embry Call x Reader

Graduation Party

I roll over in bed, waking up once again to an empty pillow to the side of me. 

I was getting used to Embry falling asleep with me, though I don’t think I would ever get used to him not being there when I woke up, the lonely feeling it left behind was quite intense. 

 I sit up, rubbing my eyes. I walk over to my desk to find the usual good morning note from Embry. 

I take the note and put it in a little box, with the others I’ve saved from him. 

I look over at the time, seeing it to be only a little before 8:00. I decided that I should probably join my dad downstairs for some cereal and chatting before he heads off to work on this fine Friday morning. 

“Hey dad.” I walk down the stairs and greet him in the kitchen. 

“Hey kid. Leah was here last night?” He asks, taking a bite of his frosted flakes. 

“Yeah, we watched some movies and talked, caught up a bit.” I grab a bowl to pour my own. 

I sit down at the table across from him, taking a bite of my cereal. 

“So what’s going on tonight, any big plans for the weekend?” He asks me. 

“Yeah, I’m actually going to Bella’s graduation party tonight.” I smile at him. 

“That sounds like fun, Billy mentioned that to me. The guys are going, too, right?” He asks me with a slight face of concern.

“Yes, dad. They’ll be there. What’re you worried about?” I laugh. 

“I worry about everything, I’m a dad.” He chuckles. 

“Alright there, dad. There’s nothing to worry about. Jacob, Quil, and Embry are going. I’m the tag along. Nothing usually gets past them.” I laugh. 

“No, not usually. They all really shot up since we left.” His eyes widen, soft laughter escaping his lips. 

“I know, it’s crazy. I can’t believe it.” 

“How tall is Jacob now? Him and Embry are really up there.” 

“Jake is 6’7 and Embry is 6’4.” I take another bite. 

“Wow. When’re you gonna grow?” He laughs. 

“Hey, relax there. Not all of us hit insane growth spurts.” I defend. 

“I know. Just messing with you.” 

“Yeah, I get it. Bully your daughter. Ha ha.” I smirk.

“Oh stop. You know I love you more than anything.” He gets up to put his bowl in the sink, nudging my shoulder on his way over. 

“I know, I love you, too.” 

“So how’s the Embry thing going on?” He asks. 

“Pretty good.” I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks. 

“I’m really glad it was Embry, honestly. He’s a good kid.” He puts a hand on my shoulder. 

“He is.” My cheeks still held that red tint. 

“Well, I should get going now. I’ll see you later, if not-- enjoy the party and keep in touch.” He kisses the top of my head before leaving. 

I finish my cereal and clean it up. 

Heading up the stairs I feel a little tired still from the night before. I lay back in bed to relax, maybe play on my phone for a bit. 

I unlock my phone and see some messages from the guys. 

“We’re gonna pick you up at 7. Be ready.” - Jake

“Good morning, bean. I love you and I can’t wait to see you today. Can I come over before the party?” - Embry

“(Y/N) important question. Do you think that snails are animals? Are slugs just homeless snails? I saw one on my porch last night and it’s keeping me up. Lmk what you think.” - Quil 

I shake my head, wondering why I even have a phone in the first place. I decide to text them all back. 

“You got it, chief.” 

“Good morning, Em. I love you, too. Come over whenever you can :)” 

“According to google, snails are basically octopuses. I don’t know about the slugs, though, bud. Do some research and keep me posted.” 

I laugh as I put my phone on my nightstand, walking over to my mirror. 

I look myself up and down, in my pajama shorts and a band t-shirt from a concert Embry and I went to three years ago in Port Angeles. I remember it like it was just yesterday. 

Embry and I walked around the venue after the show, passing by the merch table to take a peak. 

“Oh wow, that shirt’s pretty cool, look.” I point to him. 

“It is, why don’t you get it?” He asks. 

“I don’t know, I really shouldn’t buy it. My dad would get annoyed at me for buying another band tee.” I shrug my shoulders in disappointment, as I usually get a shirt at every show we went to. 

“Ah, that’s fair. Sorry, bean.” He pats me on the back. 

“It’s alright, I’m gonna head to the bathroom.” I let him know and he walks me over to the bathroom before entering the men’s room himself. 

I walk out a few moments later to see a smiling Embry, holding onto his backpack straps. 

“You ready to catch the train back?” I ask.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He smiles.

We make our way back to the train station and sit down, beginning our hour and a half journey. 

“Hey, (Y/N)? Can I tell you something?” 

“Yeah, what’s up?” I look up into his sweet brown eyes, filled with excitement. 

“So I got that shirt. I really liked it and I kinda wanted to add it to my collection. I just don’t want you to be upset with me.” He looks at me, pursing his lips. 

“No I’m not mad, Em. Why would I be mad at you? You’ll look great in it. You always get a shirt, we have our concert shirt collection going on.” I smile up at him, kinda kicking myself for not buying one to keep the tradition-- though not wanting to be lectured by my dad for it being a “waste of money.” 

“Great, I didn’t think you’d be mad. Especially because I got you one, too.” He smiles, reaching into his bag. 

“Embry! Why would you do that? Don’t spend your money on me.” I scold, trying to hide the blushing and insane smiling from appearing on my face. 

“Oh, shut up. You wanted the shirt, I wanted to get you the shirt. We both got what we wanted.” He smiles. 

“But, Emb-” 

“No, shh. Just say thank you and wear it.” He smiles, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. 

“Thank you, Em.” I look up into his eyes, not even attempting to hide my severe blushing. 

“Anything for you, bean.” He smiles. 

I hold the shirt in my hands, clutching it excitedly. A yawn escapes my lips but I try to fight it back.

“You can lay on my shoulder, take a nap. I’ll wake you up when we get there.” He smiles. 

I nod, placing my head on his shoulder and falling asleep.

I observe how long it is for me, as he bought it in his size because “it’s just cuter that way” as he would say. 

Sitting down on my bed, I unlock my phone to see the responses from Embry and Quil, Jake only gave my message a thumbs up. 

“I’m on my way, should be there in a few minutes :)” - Embry 

“I’m on it.” - Quil 

I smirk before I make my bed and try to tidy up my room, just what I teased Embry about yesterday. 

A few minutes into me cleaning, I hear my phone going off. It was Embry texting me that he was here and to let him in. 

I jog down the stairs and open the door to see an excited Embry. 

“Good morning.” He picks me up in his arms and spins me around. 

“Hey there, Embry.” I giggle into his neck.

He places me back on the floor and I lead him upstairs. 

We get into my room and I notice his staring. 

“Is something wrong?” I ask him, eyes widening in nervousness. 

“No, no. God no. I just-- you look cute like that. I just, I like your outfit.” He stumbles upon his words. 

“Thank you, Em.” I blush. 

“I’m glad I got you it in my size. Maybe you should just switch over to my clothes completely. I think that would work.” He flirts, smiling like the goof that he is. 

“Hmm, maybe. I’ll steal some more of your hoodies soon.” I smirk.

“I can’t even complain.” He leans down kissing me softly. 

The kiss once again, as all the rest, felt like electricity shot through my entire body. I felt my knees going weak.

Emby’s hand on my hips felt like absolute heaven, making out with him was a rush, it felt like heaven on earth. 

He pulls away, placing his forehead on my own.

“Hi.” He breathes. 

“Hey.” I smile. 

“Wanna watch some Rick & Morty?” He asks.

“Sure.” I laugh. 

We always talked about Rick & Morty while I was gone, trying to watch it together. 

We situated ourselves in my bed, my head on his chest and my legs sprawled amongst his. 

The next few hours consisted of laughter as both he and I took turns falling in and out of sleep. 

At 5:30 I decided it was time I got up to begin getting ready to go. I put some mascara on, a little lip tint, style my hair and head over to my closet. 

“Whatcha doing, bean?” Embry asks, a yawn escaping his soft lips. 

“I’m trying to figure out what to wear to this party. Are you guys dressing up?” I turn around, and eye him up.

“T-shirt and jeans, all of us. Except maybe you. I’m sure the others will be dressed up but don’t feel pressured.” He smirks. 

“I see. I should have known.” I smirk. 

I search through my closet, feeling Embry’s hands find my waist behind me, pressing a kiss to the back of my head.

“You’ll look great in anything you wear.” He whispers.

“Thank you.” Thankfully he couldn’t see my blushing from behind my head. 

“Ya know, I’d say wear that. But I’d have a hard time controlling myself… And keeping you to myself.” He chuckles.

“Embry!” I laugh.

“I’m just saying, you look really cute.” He says, walking back over to my bed. 

It took me a while, but I decided on a black dressy-ish sweater, a pair of blue jeans, and a pair of black chelsea boots. 

I turn around to begin changing and I notice Embry covering his eyes, 

I giggle to myself as I change, thankful of his eye shielding-- I wasn’t ready for that just yet. 

“Thank you, Em.” I say as I finish pulling the jeans up my leg. 

“Of course.” He says, blush appearing across his cheeks. 

“You can open your eyes now.” I say when I finish, walking over to sit on his lap. 

“Hey, welcome.” He kisses my cheek.

“Look at you, the king of respecting women.” I laugh. 

“You know it, baby. Forever and always.” He laughs. 

It was true, though. Embry has always been one of the most respectful people I had ever met, especially with women-- including myself. 

“How long until Jake and Quil get here?” I ask, leaning my head into his chest. 

“Any minute now, time moves fast when I’m with you.” He presses a kiss onto my shoulder. 

“That it does, you’re my favorite way to spend my time.” I giggle. 

“You look beautiful, by the way.” He smiles into my neck, leaving a soft kiss at the nape. 

“How do you do that?” I ask. 

“Do what?” 

“Always have that effect on me? Everything you do… it just feels intense.” I admit. 

“I think that’s just because we’ve waited so long for this. You’re also my imprint, now.” He laughs softly. 

His phone begins vibrating, causing him to pull away and answer. 

“It’s Jake, they’re here.” He says hanging up the phone.

I nod and we get up, going downstairs. 

“Have fun! Be safe.” My dad smiles from the couch. 

“Thank you!” We call out in unison. 

“I’ll text you, dad. I love you.” I smile before we walk out the door and get into Jacob’s rabbit. 

“Let’s have some fun tonight.” I smile. 

“Too many leeches, but there might be pretty girls. So this could be good.” Quil chuckles from the front seat. 

“Ooh, Jacob. Pretty girls.” I say in a sing-song manner. 

“(Y/N), you know it doesn’t matter to me.” He laughs. 

“I know, but just try to have a good time. It’s my first party with you guys in like forever!” I grab the back of Quil and Jacob’s seats, bringing myself forward. 

“You’re right.” Quil agrees.

“Oh Quil, what’s the news?” I ask, referring to our conversation from this morning. 

“Oh. They’re cousins, not brothers.” He turns around to me, nodding.

“Oh damn, no way.” I smirk.

“Who?” Embry asks. 

“Snails and slugs. Ya know, the octopus things.” He shrugs. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Embry asks. 

“We’re here, please stop… whatever this is.” Jacob smirks getting out of the car. 

“I can explain later.” I grab onto Embry’s hand, following Jacob into the giant house that belonged to the Cullens. 

“Holy shit.” I mutter, walking through the enormous front door. 

“Right?” Quil agrees.

We walk up the stairs, finding the main area of the party. 

Embry stayed behind me, his hand on my lower back, guiding me up the stairs. 

“I’m not made out of glass, you know. I’ve done stairs before.” I turn around giggling. 

“Can’t risk an accident with you, bean. Especially in a house of leeches.” He reminds me. 

“Embry, stop it. I’m not that accident prone.” I defend. 

“Says the girl with five bruises just on her left leg.” He chuckles.

“Hey, don’t do this.” I laugh. 

Jacob soon finds Bella, greeting her.

“Hey, why are you here?” She asks. 

I felt strange, were we not invited?

“You invited me, remember?” Jacob responds. 

“I thought our argument and me calling you a dick was me uninviting you.” “Bella, I’m sorry. Look, I brought you a gift. I made you it.” He holds up the wolf charm bracelet that he spent hours carving. 

“You made this? It’s beautiful.” Her demeanor softened. 

“Of course.” He smiles, pulling her into a small hug. 

“Hey Bella. Congratulations.” I smile at her. 

“Oh, hey (Y/N). Thank you. I’m glad you came. Hopefully you can keep them under control.” She jokes. 

“Eh, maybe. Usually only Embry will listen to me, though. Fair warning.” I laugh. 

We sit around, listening to music for a little bit. Eating some snacks before we found our way to Bella again. As I was chatting with her and Jacob, Bella’s eyes frantically peered over to a very tiny woman on the stairs. 

“Alice. What did you see?” She asks, walking over.

“The decision has been made.” She answers, wide eyed. 

“What decision?” Jacob asks. 

We are all led into Carlisle’s office, me basically velcroed to Embry’s side, especially in such close proximity to the Cullens. 

“So they’re coming here?” Bella asks. 

“Yeah, in four days.” Alice responds. 

“We don’t have much time.” Carlisle says in a worried tone. 

“Who’s coming?” Jacob asks. 

“Newborn army. They’re coming for Bella.” Jasper says. 

We then got the whole rundown of what that actually entails, how scary of a situation this truly was.

“Wait, they’re after Bella?” Jacob asks. 

I look over at Embry, worried eyes. 

“Well, then the pack will fight.” Jacob agrees. 

Embry and Quil nod, my eyes wide with fear. 

“You think Sam would be willing to come to an understanding?” 

“Yeah.” 

“We’re going to have to train, this is a very dangerous fight. Lives could be lost. Jasper has the experience and knowledge we will need.” Carlisle explains. 

“We get to kick some ass.” The large one, Emmett, grins. 

“When do we start training?” Jacob asks. 

“Tomorrow.” Carlisle answers. 

“Okay, I’ll tell Sam tonight.” 

“Jacob, please.” Bella begs. 

“This is what you wanted, remember? We’re working together.” He really rubbed her face in it. 

“Newborns won’t even know they exist, they’ll be a great help to us. Plus we need the numbers, Bella.” Jasper reasons. 

I looked up at Embry with a worried face, feeling my heart begin to beat faster. I needed him to be okay, I needed all my friends to be okay. 

“Don’t worry, bean. Nothing is gonna happen, okay?” He whispers in my ear, leaning down to press a kiss to my temple. 

Quil looks at me, nodding in confirmation. 

“This is what we were made to do. At least we get to kill some vampires.” Jacob grins. 

Going back to the party wasn’t the same after that. I felt like I was in a constant state of nausea, like my heart was about to fly out of my chest. 

When it was time to leave, we went out and drove back to my house in complete silence. I bid Jacob and Quil a goodnight and Embry walked me to my door. 

“Did you have fun?” He asked. 

“Well I was, earlier in the night.” I admit. 

“I know, bean. But please don’t worry. Everything will be okay, this is our job. It’s in our blood, this is what we do.” He smiles, trying to comfort me as he pushes my hair behind my ear. 

“I know, I’m just scared.” I admit. 

“Don’t be, bean. I would never let anything happen to you.” His eyes stare deep into mine, seriousness completely taking over his face.

“No, I’m scared for you.” 

“Oh, don’t be. I never got hurt before, and now I have just another thing to fight for.” He softly smiles. 

“I want to come to practice.” I tell him. 

“Uh, I don’t know.” His voice trails off. 

“Embry, please. I need to know.” I plead.

“Okay, but you have to stay where it’s safe. Stay by me.” 

I nod and he pulls me into a tight hug. 

“Thank you.” I whisper. 

“I’d do anything for you.” He smiles. 

His arms find my waist before he gives me a sweet kiss goodnight. 

I manage to find the strength to go inside my house and separate from the warmth that Embry was.

Sleeping was something that seemed to be out of the question as I stared at my ceiling in complete silence for hours, mind racing with anxious thoughts. I don’t even know when I even fell asleep. 

__________________________________

Word Count: 3087

 I  II  III  IV  V  VI  VII  VIII  VIIII  X  XIR XIE  XII  XIII  XIV  XV XVI  XVII  XVIII  XIIII

[elizabeth-mitchells]

supercut of us - The Old Guard (2020) - TOGFemslashFortnight

@tog-femslashfortnight - Saturday's Prompt: Free Choice

This is especially for everyone at the TOG Femslash Discord <3

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Andy | Andromache the Scythian/Quynh | Noriko, Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Nile Freeman & Quynh | Noriko Characters: Andy | Andromache of Scythia, Quynh | Noriko, Nile Freeman Additional Tags: TOGFemSlashFortnight, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, ish, Headcanon, Friendship, Team Bonding, World Travel, Fluff and Humor, Tooth-Rotting Fluff Words: 3517

Inspired by 57 headcanons shared on the TOG Femslash Discord... (which you can find along with their creators here)

After Andy and Quynh are reunited they decide to travel the world with Nile. Andy deals with her uncertain mortality, Quynh deals with the twenty-first century, and Nile... deals with both of them. It's fun, exciting, sweet and never boring.

There was just something about the way Quynh was holding Andy’s hand, which was perfectly complemented by the exact pressure of Andy’s hold, but defied by the purposeful pattern that Quynh’s thumb was drawing on the back of Andy’s hand. Then, of course, there was also something else to be said about the particular arch of Andy’s eyebrow, or just a flash of a frown in Quynh’s face, followed by Andy biting her lip, and answered with a brief pout from Quynh. Which lead to-

“What are you guys doing?” Nile blurted out, finally exasperated by the way the two women had been silently staring at each other for four minutes doing nothing but exchanging microexpressions and holding hands. “Did you guys changed your mind?” she tilted her head.

“No,” Quynh replied slowly, “I was just asking Andromache if she’d like me to stab her just once more to check if she is still immortal.”

Andy rolled her eyes, not very happy to be reminded about the fact that she still couldn’t figure out if her immortality was back or not. She had scars now, but still healed much faster than she should. It was complicated. “We’re ready to go, Nile,” Andy grumbled, as they finally followed the younger woman to the plane. With just one look Quynh had let her know she wasn’t feeling particularly great about being locked in that small plane for a long period of time. Andy was comforting, and reassuring, let her know that she disliked it just as much. “It’s safe though, trust me, I’ve only crashed one without meaning to once, or twice. And it was back when they were considerably less safe,” she added.

“Without meaning to,” Quynh shook her head fondly, “And that wouldn’t even be you at your worst now would it, my heart? You love falling from high places.”

Before Andy could protest, Nile was exclaiming, “Oh you have to tell me about that Quynh.”

“Not again,” Andy groaned, falling into her seat in the plane.

Once inside, it was obvious that Quynh’s anxiety of the reduced and unfamiliar place was kicking in again. With a smile as kind and bright as ever, Nile offered her her phone and headphones and said, “You know what I think could help? Music. And I have just the right-”

“Just the right kind of meaningless, over simplified, repetitive-”

“Oh, excuse me, I forgot classic rock was the only valid form of music. Andy, you’re a cliche grandma.”

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

“Quynh agrees with me!”

Their always-loving, never-ending bickering stopped for a moment, so they could both look at the third member of their group looking for her evaluation of the argument. Quynh, who had been so completely engrossed in Nile’s favorite playlist of pop music that she had missed the take-off of the plane entirely, only looked up when she took notice of the silence around her. “Hm, what?” she took off one earbud, looking from one face to another and nodded, “Yes, my heart, you are too old to understand. And this is actually really good.” She went back to her music and, by the end of the flight, she may or may not have accidentally started listening to a jazz music playlist, and ended up absolutely loving that too.

--

During the first hour of their hike, Nile tried to remember that she was exploring the world with the two oldest women on Earth, women who could teach her absolutely everything, women with knowledge so invaluable it was difficult to comprehend. Women who, also, sometimes acted like annoying children. 

“You slipped on a little bit of mud and broke your skull when you fell down, that’s worse,” Andy argued.

“Not as bad as dying because you failed to balance your own axe on your head! Even after I told you not to do that, Andy,” Quynh insisted.

Teasing each other like that was as natural as breathing, but that little detail of Quynh calling her just Andy, it had the oldest woman narrowing her eyes and suspecting it was better to give up the fight. “Anyway, it was Nile who shot herself in the foot for no reason at all,” she mumbled, attempting to change the subject.

Except, “Yeah, but it didn’t kill me,” Nile raised her hands in faked innocence while the three of them started laughing. As annoying as it could be to travel with the oldest couple on Earth, it was also a lot of fun.

--

Quynh had opted to stay behind to rest and look over their camp, so it was just Andy and Nile slowly riding their horses around. 

“You’re doing great, kid,” Andy sent a smile her way, “Just a little more practice and you can join me on the Mongol Derby next year.” The younger woman replied with a genuinely frightened expression. She was just learning how to do that, she didn’t need to think about the absurd things that Andy, who apparently had loved and befriended horses before anyone had even thought about domesticating them, would do. Still, she knew she’d probably end up joining her and being dragged into whatever chaos that experience would entail. “I hope Quynh will join too, she’d be amazing. Though, I didn’t tell you this but, she used to be terrified of horses,” Andy finished with a soft chuckle.

Nile laughed along with her and as a reflex she looked back in the general direction of where they’d last seen Quynh. When she looked back at Andy she was surprised to find a not entirely unfamiliar look of melancholy on her friend’s face. Before Quynh came back, that was Andy’s usual look, but it had been a while since Nile had seen her like that. She took the risk to say, “I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for you, when you lost her.”

For a second, Andy looked surprised to hear those words. “Good,” was the first thing she replied, wholeheartedly hoping the young woman would never even have to imagine that sort of pain, that absolutely devastating loss of having your universe ripped to shreds, decades of looking over your shoulder to find out your better half is no longer there.

But, on second thought, she remembered how closed off she had been when they all first met Nile, and in a matter of months Quynh was back and everything had changed too quickly. Perhaps she owed her some part of the story.

“I never really stopped looking for her, you know?” Andy took a deep breath, her heart warmed by the genuine interest in Nile’s gentle eyes. “Just weeks before we found you I was still trying… It was hell though, back then, when it first happened. I got my revenge and a little too late I found out there was no one alive who could tell me where she was. Then I had to accept she was impossible to find, and accept I’d never be the same again. I shave this whole thing off,” Andy ran a hand through her hair, making the most of that brief moment to try to soothe her raging emotions, and remind herself she was just remembering, and this time Quynh really was back, waiting for her nearby. “I got into piracy for a couple of years, still bent on revenge and staying closer to, you know, the ocean. And a lot of regrets.”

“It brought all of us here though, right? She’s back,” Nile added with a smile that she hoped could cheer up her friend at least slightly. It worked though. Andy, not for the first time, found herself not only endeared by the young woman’s optimism, but surprisingly agreeing with her.

--

This time it was Andy and Nile waiting for Quynh by the beach. The island was just big enough for the three of them to hide without worrying that someone would figure out if was Quynh it was who had just killed one of the wealthiest men in the world. When she arrived at their spot on the beach and took a seat by the fire, she was still impeccably dressed, barely a hair out of place.

“Well, that felt good,” she sighed, getting comfortable in the sand, “Also, you’re welcome. Unless you had stock in his company. Actually, I don’t know how that works. It doesn’t matter to me, and I bet it doesn’t matter to any part of him left.”

Despite Nile’s shocked, slightly disturbed, and somewhat confused expression, Andy smiled, completely smitten by the woman beside her. “Take a look,” she told her lover, nodding her head toward the sky, not taking her eyes of Quynh, “Beautiful, isn’t it.”

“Mesmerizing as always,” Quynh replied in a whisper, leaning back on her hands to look up at the stars above them as the two of them always loved to do. “Always changing…”

“Wait, what?”

Smiling at the younger woman’s confusion, Quynh added, “Hey, Nile, bonfires are perfect for some good stories. What do you think, are you interested?”

Nile agreed immediately and Quynh expertly launched herself into dozens of epic tales that, with the power of only her words, took the three of them all over the world and all over history. She reminded Andy that this wasn’t the first time they took care of greedy dictators. She talked them through the discovery of lands for the very first time. She brought legends back from the dead and left Nile speechless. She even indulged herself in sharing one or two of her favorite stories of Andy and her, including her time spent as a sculptor with her obvious muse being Andy, and also all the myths she personally started with one of the many special swords Andy singlehandedly created for her.

A very important part of the stories was the interaction between Andy and Quynh. It didn’t take long for Nile to understand how whenever Quynh hesitated on some part of her magnificent stories, Andy was always there ready to provide the missing piece of the puzzle. It might have to do with some part of Quynh’s mind perpetually lost to the unforgiving ocean. But, judging by the way it looked like Quynh expected Andy to fill in the blanks for her, it suggested that this habit of sharing their memories as one wasn’t new at all. 

Quynh was an expert in the art of storytelling. She knew exactly how to tease the knowledge only she had about Andy’s life before immortality, including their birthdays, and yet keep it all still a mystery. She knew just how to bring Nile close to tears with the tale of the Scythian warriors’ welcoming arms giving Andy her first family, and her longest-lasting name, and yet keep to herself the memory of it being just the last name Lykon got to call her.

When Nile can’t help herself anymore and falls asleep, Andy half expected Quynh to be just as tired, but she wasn’t all that surprised when instead the love of her life stood up and offered her a hand. “Are you joining me?” Quynh asked, nodding her head toward the sea, the gentle waves crashing on the shore.

“Are you sure?” Andy asked, but immediately took the hand offered and followed the other woman’s lead in taking off their clothes and walking to the shore.

“It’s terrifying, I admit that. I wouldn’t dare do it without you,” Quynh looked unusually bashful and vulnerable for a moment, the moonlight catching the precious light in her eyes just right, “But there’s just something about it… I need to prove I’m stronger, you know?”

“I am completely certain of that fact, my love,” Andy replied with a smile, taking Quynh’s hand and going into the water with her. And she meant her words. Five hundred years of torture beyond human comprehension, and Quynh was still here, still alive, still herself. There was nothing in this world stronger than her, Andy knew that as a fact.

--

Taking some time to finally stand still and relax in a safe house was a great idea for several reasons. Firstly, Nile would be lying if she said she didn’t miss a stable internet connection, which she made quick use of to sign up for an online Art History course. Plus, the isolated charming little cabin near the woods was the only place where Andy could possibly get away with adopting an actual wild bear cub.

“You stole a baby bear?!” Nile exclaimed, lowering the sword and giving up her training for a moment, because the sight of Andy arriving at the house carrying a bear in her arms was a little too much to easily comprehend.

“She lost her mother,” Andy shrugged, as if it was the most common thing to go around the woods picking up orphan bears to raise like pets.

“She does this often,” Quynh mentioned to Nile, lowering her own sword and instead picking up her recurve bow, “Personally, I prefer big cats. But it’s cute, isn’t it?”

Nile narrowed her eyes and looked at Andy. “I mean… look, that’s not normal. I love penguins, they’re my favorites and I’d love to have one, but they’re not pets. Dogs are my favorite pets, that’s normal!” Before she could get to her arguments about bears not being fit for keeping as pets, she was interrupted by Andy’s newest friend running toward her and instinctively hugging her leg. “Oh… okay, fine, it’s cute but…” But this was her life now, and she wasn’t exactly complaining.

--

Life in the various safe houses they stayed was fun, pleasant, and a very particular kind of peaceful that was only possible when living with actual immortal warriors. It was, at least, never boring. And sometimes it was also surprisingly sweet.

Nile had the brilliant idea of introducing Quynh to many, many things about modern culture. This included a quick review of the twentieth century, and Quynh reacted horrified by world wars, fascinated by 1920’s style, and skeptical about the moon landing. This, somewhat accidentally, involved introducing her to hitmen, leverage, other shows and movies that she passionately loved or disliked, and it was hilarious to watch Andy and Quynh bicker about how attractive or definitely-not-attractive the actors and actresses were. And there was also the occasional video game. Though Quynh definitely developed a love-hate relationship with Candy Crush, often saying to Nile “I’m your friend, your family, I teach you archery tricks that no other person alive knows, and this is how you repay me? You give me this devilishly addictive little game?!” 

Later, Nile was pleased to find out that both women were skilled in doing hairstyles for her, and, even better, since they had learned with Lykon thousands of years ago, they knew ancient styles that thoroughly impressed the young woman. Cooking was, more often than not, a struggle for the three of them. Baking, on the other hand, was a wonderful experience. Maybe Andy didn’t do much beyond distracting Quynh and eating the majority of everything they made, even before it hit the oven. But it was still a good time and, judging by the way Andy nearly burst into tears whenever Quynh offered her any sweet pastry, it was easy to guess there was some sort of meaningful history behind it.

Nile was also lucky enough to witness the moment Quynh found out that same-sex marriage was a perfectly legal thing in some places. Maybe she couldn’t marry the love of her immortal life as soon as she would have liked, maybe they would need to fake a few documents or even try to take advantage of some odd American laws, but she couldn’t wait for the moment it’d finally be official. Andy perfectly understood how she felt. Maybe they had absolutely no need for anyone or anything to certify their love for each other, but it would surely be fun to get to do something that for centuries was denied to them. That was partly the reason why Andy had attended college a handful of times, as soon as it was legal for women to do so, just to proudly get kicked out.

As perfect as the dynamic between the three of them was, they all needed their moments to themselves, and Nile had learned when to give the couple the space they needed. Plus, she also got time to herself. This entire life was a, literally, never-ending adventure, but it was necessary to take the time to breathe, take a step back, and think about things. One of Nile’s favorite things to do to achieve some peace of mind was journaling. Truthfully, it started as a desperate attempt to write letters to her family that she would never send. But it soon became a helpful habit that kept her grounded. And also busy, on those times when Andy and Quynh disappeared for a handful of hours at a time.

--

It was starting to happen less and less, but it was still a common occurrence for Quynh to wake up feeling the weight of the entire ocean on her chest. She’d wake up startled, a desperate scream already halfway through her throat, and already halfway prepared to die again. Some nights were harder than others, some nights it took several minutes for Andy to convince Quynh she was safe and alive and far from the sea, and get her to calm down. But then, of course, there were some easier nights, when the warmth of Andy’s body beside her would quickly bring Quynh back to her reality. She’d be shaking, frightened, afraid. But she’d turn to Andy, even with tears and in her eyes and smile in relief.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m here, you’re safe Quynh,” Andy immediately whispered in the softest tone she could manage, wrapping her arms around her lover, bring her closer, letting her find comfort in her touch and the sound of her heartbeat.

After a few moments, with her face pressed against Andy’s chest, Quynh wondered, “I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” Andy promised, kissing the top of her head, “And no, as a matter of fact, you didn’t. You fell asleep and I was just reading.” That got Quynh’s attention, getting her to finally meet Andy’s eyes. “It’s been a long time but… The Odyssey, remember that one?”

“Your favorite,” Quynh said softly, granting the other woman a genuine even if small smile, before cuddling closer to her. “Read it to me?” she asked, knowing nothing would make her feel safer, feel better than that. This moment, this connection brought by holding each other tightly, reminded both of them of a time in their past. Shortly after losing Lykon, they would embrace each other just like this, usually after a battle, and it was the only way to soothe their fears, it was a silent promise. The painful memory was gently replaced by Andy’s words recounting her favorite story, a different reassurance, a sweet gesture, and everything Quynh needed at the moment.

--

“You,” Andy said, and kissed her, “are wearing my shirt,” she added, kissing her again.

“Well,” Quynh returned the kiss, “It’s obviously not mine, Andromache,” she teased her, and bit her lip. Pleased with Andy’s eager reaction, Quynh continued kissing her, and let her hands start roaming her lover’s body. She was sitting on Andy’s lap, always more comfortable there than anywhere else. She kept one hand on the other woman’s short hair, since both equally loved it when she played with her hair, and with the fingers of her other hand she caressed Andy’s jaw, her neck, shoulders, and finally arrived at her upper arm. Then she pulled back from the kiss just enough to say, “You have a new scar.”

“Do I?” Andy replied and when she tried to go back to another kiss she was gently rejected.

“I notice, you know?” Quynh added. She had a somewhat complicated relationship with Andy’s scars. They represented a new and interesting part of her lover for her to cherish, so she enjoyed checking up on these small changes every now and then. But it was impossible to ignore that they stood for the love of her life getting hurt, and being, more or less, mortal. She still healed, slowly but surely, and certainly faster than regular people, but… Before her thoughts spiraled out of control, Andy’s gentle hand on her cheek brought her back to their conversation. She had been mindlessly tracing one of Andy’s scars with her fingertips, a new habit that turned out to be comforting for both of them.

“I know,” Andy said with a small smile that was quickly returned. There was more she wanted to say, both of them, but in their case, it could perfectly well be said silently. Starting with resting their foreheads together, taking a deep breath, and holding each other just a little tighter. It was enough, because their love was loud enough to fill the silence for thousands, and thousands of years.

[itsadamcole]

under the mistletoe

fem!reader x nick jackson

reader and Nick have had feelings for each other for years, and neither have admitted it. Until the two find themselves under the mistletoe ... “did you just kiss me?”

word count: 3k+

warnings: fluffy, nick being cute. a little bit of drinking

— day 5. let’s gooo —

masterlist || request an imagine here

***

You're on the phone with your best friend as you get dressed to go to his house for the annual Jackson Christmas party.

It's a party that Matt and Nick Jackson throw every year, and you've gone every year since they started throwing the party. Their family is invited. Both their families, their blood family and their wrestling family.

You've known Matt and Nick Jackson since June 2016, when the three of you were in Ring of Honor together. You signed with ROH and the first people you met were Matt, Nick, Kenny Omega, Adam Cole, Adam Page, and Cody Rhodes while they were backstage waiting for their segment to start. Kenny wasn't in Bullet Club yet but he was good friends with everyone in the group. Nick was the first person in the group to talk to you.

"Hey, I've never seen you around here," Nick said to you. "You new?"

You smiled and teased him saying, "Maybe. Who's asking? I'm not talking to someone important, am I?"

"You're only talking to a member of the greatest faction in ROH history," Nick said, teasing you back. "Nick Jackson, former ROH World Tag Team Champion." He held out his hand and you shook it.

Smiling, you said, "Y/N L/N, former NWA World Women's Champion."

And that was the beginning of a friendship that's lasted almost five years. You've become close to Nick, Matt, Kenny, Cole, Page, and Cody. You were thinking about forming a new faction with them before Cole left ROH in 2017 to go to NXT. Then the Young Bucks, Kenny, Adam Page, and Cody all signed to AEW. You joined them in AEW, where you're the number one contender for Hikaru Shida's AEW Women's World Championship.

Nick, who's on the phone with you now, asks, "What color are you wearing tonight? It's for science class."

Laughing, you say, "You haven't had a science class in years. Silver, by the way." You're tying the halter top of your dress behind your neck.

The dress you're wearing is silver, obviously. From the waist up is tight, hugging your muscular figure. There's a sparkly design on the top and the neck dips down, revealing the smallest amount of cleavage. The ties to tie the halter top are made of sheer silver fabric. The skirt flares out and ends right above your knees. The whole dress is satin.

"Gotcha," Nick says. "So I'll wear a black suit with a silver tie."

Since you've been invited to the annual Jackson Christmas party, you and Nick have always found some way to match each other while matching that year's theme. This year is formal attire, meaning the women wear dresses and the men wear suits or at least a tie. Last year was ugly sweaters, so you and Nick wore matching ugly Christmas sweaters.

You do your makeup at your desk. Your phone sits on speaker as you do a silver smokey eye look with a dark red lip.

A door opens on the other line and Matt, Nick's older brother, says, "Let me guess. Y/N is wearing something silver."

Nick laughs and says, "Maybe. She's on the phone."

Matt says, "Hi, Y/N. You on your way yet?"

"I'm finishing up my makeup then I am leaving," you giggle. "You two won't have to go much longer without seeing me."

Nick says, "Hurry up, Y/N.

"Makeup is art, Mr. Jackson. It takes more than a few minutes to do," you say, smiling. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

Your best friend laughs and says, "Well, you're only like five minutes away so I expect to see you in about ten."

Finally finishing your makeup, you say, "Make that seven. I'm leaving in two minutes. See you soon."

"Bye, Y/N," Nick says, hanging up the phone.

Just the thought of seeing Nick in a suit makes the butterflies flutter in your stomach. Nick has always looked handsome in a suit and it's honestly making you very excited that you get to see him in a suit tonight, especially in a suit with a tie that matches your dress.

After putting on a pair of three-inch heels, you take your phone and clutch before leaving your penthouse apartment just outside of Jacksonville. The Young Bucks don't live that far away. They don't live together because they have their own families but they live close together too. Within a block or two of each other. You live about three miles away. It's a five-minute drive so you get in your 2-year-old Toyota Corolla and drive to Nick's house.

The drive is extremely short as you try and calm your nerves. You're excited to see Nick but you're nervous about what he'll think of the dress.

You've had feelings for Nick for years. You've never told him. You know he doesn't feel the same way about you. He's had girlfriends, quite a few over the past four years, so if he had any feelings for you then he'd have told you by now.

After you get out of the car, after parking it in the driveway of Nick's house, you walk up to his front door. You knock and wait for someone to open the door.

Matt answers the door. He wears a crazy Christmas suit. You laugh. "Look at you," you say. "Does Dana mind the crazy outfit?"

"She offered to take care of the kids this year at our place," he says. "So she has no idea until someone posts a picture on Instagram or any other social media."

Laughing again, you walk inside.

Matt closes the door behind you and yells, "Nick! Your girlfriend is here!"

Nick calls, "Mel's here?"

You raise your eyebrows at Nick's brother and ask, "Who's Mel?"

"This girl that Nick's talking to," Matt says. "Don't tell Dana but she's kinda hot."

You feel your heart sink into your stomach and all you can say is, "Oh."

Nick walks into the living room and Matt's eyes widen. You blink at Matt as Nick says, "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long, Y/N. Cole and his boys are on their way. Kenny, Page, and Cody are already drinking all my alcohol in the kitchen. Everyone else will be here shortly."

You look over at Nick and smile. He looks really hot in that suit. He smiles at you. "You look good in the silver tie," you say, trying not to let what Matt said affect you. "Matches me."

Nick laughs and says, "That is kind of the point. We always match."

He hugs you and presses a kiss to the top of your head. Matt looks between the two of you before he says, "I'm gonna make sure that Kenny, Page, and Cody are doing okay." He leaves.

You watch Matt walk away and Nick asks, "What's up with him? He always stays and talks.

"Don't know," you say. "Anyway, I was told that you were talking to someone. Who is she? Tell me!"

Nick laughs and says, "Her name is Mel. She's nice, and hot. I just don't know how I feel about her."

"I should meet her," you say. "The best friend always meets the new girlfriend first."

Nick laughs again and says, "Yeah, that's true."

Matt calls from the kitchen, "Y/N! Come here!"

"I'll be right back," you say to Nick before walking off to the kitchen.

In the kitchen are Matt, Kenny, Adam Page, Cody, and Brandi Rhodes. You approach the group and ask, "Yes?"

The older Jackson says, "So, tell me something, Y/N. How long have you had some kind of feelings for my brother?"

You blink at Matt and say, "I don't."

"That's such bull," Kenny says. "I see it. The rest of us see it."

Matt says, "When I told you about Mel, all you said was 'oh' and your face just completely fell, Y/N."

You cross your arms over your chest and say, "That doesn't mean that I have feelings for him, Matt."

Cody asks, "You haven't told him, have you?"

You shake your head, defeated. Everyone already knows so you say, "Any time I try or I get the chance to, he tells me he's talking to someone new. He has no idea."

Matt says, "Tonight's the night. I know it is."

You start to walk away, wanting to be done with this conversation, and say, "Yeah, right."

You approach Nick in the living room talking to Adam Cole and his Undisputed Era boys. Nick looks over at you and smiles. "Hey," he says. "What did Matt want?"

"He wanted my opinion on the gift he got you for tonight," you lie.

Cole says, "I hope you gave a good opinion on what Matt got his brother." The group kind of laughs.

You smile and say, "I definitely did." There's a knock on the door. "I'll go get that. You guys keep this conversation going."

Nick goes back to talking to the boys and you go answer the door.

When you answer the door, you're greeted by a beautiful girl with long brown hair and hazel eyes. She's wearing a red satin strapless dress. It's short. The skirt ends about halfway down her thighs.

"Hi," she says cheerfully. "I'm Mel. Is Nick Jackson here?"

You give her a kind smile and say, "Yeah. He's in the living room. Silver tie."

She thanks you and walks inside. You shut the door and watch as she embraces Nick, hugging him and kissing him.

After watching that, you walk into the kitchen, rejoining Matt, Kenny, Page, Cody, and Brandi. "I need a drink," you announce. "Like pronto."

Page says, "I can help with that."

More and more people make their way into the house. The lights all come on and Christmas music is being played from a stereo in the living room.

Wrestlers from AEW, WWE, ROH, and other promotions all attend the party. Members of Nick and Matt's family attend as well.

It's about nine, and the party has been going for about two hours now. You're standing in the doorway of the kitchen from the dining room. People are scattered all throughout the house but these two rooms are the least crowded.

You watch Nick and his new girlfriend as they laugh and talk in the kitchen. You sip your drink and can't help but be a little jealous.

While you've been distancing yourself from Nick, he's also made no efforts to talk to you.

Matt walks up and stands beside you as you take a sip of your class of whiskey. "I hope you realize that you're standing under the mistletoe," he says. You glance up and take another sip.

"Well, look at that," you say. "I'm under the mistletoe with no one to kiss."

Both of you laugh and Matt says, "Well, there's one person we both know you'd rather be standing under the mistletoe with. I think he name starts with N and ends with a K."

You sigh at the mention of Nick and say, "He hasn't even tried to talk to me. Like, I might be keeping my distance a bit but he hasn't even checked in on me like he usually does. And we're matching." You pout.

An idea pops into Matt's mind and he says, "I'll be right back." He walks into the kitchen. You watch as he says something to Nick and Mel then leads Mel away. Nick approaches you.

"Hey," he says, leaning against the doorframe opposite you. "You doing okay? I know we haven't been talking as much as we normally do at these thing."

You force a smile and say, "I'm doing fine. I've just been kind of hanging around with Brandi, Britt, and Marina."

Nick smiles and says, "Well, Mel's been wanting for formally meet you. I've been telling her stories about our promos and the they wanted us to be in rival factions in ROH. Plus, I've been kind of introducing her to a lot of people here since she doesn't really know a lot of people. I hope you understand that since you know a lot of people."

That's true and a very valid excuse. You can't complain about that. That thought never even crossed your mind. Mel isn't a wrestler like the other girls that Nick has dated. She may know names but has never met anyone here.

"Yeah," you say. "Of course I understand. I know a lot of people and I'm friends with a lot of people here."

Your best friend says, "I knew you'd understand. Now, how about we go meet Mel. How does that sound?"

You nod, glancing above you at the mistletoe.

Nick starts to walk away. The alcohol you've been drinking gives you enough courage to say, "Hey, Nick? Wait a second."

He turns and looks back at you. You grab his hand and pull him back under the mistletoe. "What's up?" he asks.

Before you can talk yourself out of it, you get on your toes and kiss Nick. Your lips brush against his, unsure of the kiss. You gain some courage and kiss him harder.

The kiss lasts for about two seconds before Nick pulls back. Your eyes search his for any emotion as he asks, "Did you just kiss me?"

"Mistletoe," is all you say. "Look up."

Your best friend looks up and spots the mistletoe. He smiles and says, "Oh."

Anxiety starts to rise within you as you meet Nick's eyes. He leans down and his lips meet yours. You're confused but you kiss him back.

Nick's hands move so they're on your cheeks, cupping your face. You grab a fistful of Nick's suit jacket and he presses you against the doorframe.

Your lips move slowly against Nick's, enjoying the moment. Your heart races in your chest as you realize that this is actually happening. This is a real thing now. Everything you've felt for Nick coming out into the open.

There's a whistle and you look into the kitchen, seeing Kenny, Adam Page, Cody, Brandi, and Britt looking at you and Nick.

"I, um," you stammer. "I need to go get some fresh air." You leave the house from the back door. You step out onto the back deck, which is lit up by a few string of lights above the deck.

You lean against the railing and look out over the backyard. There's a pool and a wrestling ring. A forrest sits beyond the backyard.

You kissed Nick and he kissed you. He kissed back. He's talking to someone and he kissed you while Mel was in the other room.

The door opens behind you and you look back to see Nick. You sigh and say, "I overstepped my boundaries. I know that. I'm sorry."

It's quiet until Nick says, "She left. Mel, I mean. I told her that it was nice to know her and that she's a nice girl, but I also told her that I think I have feelings for someone else."

You raise your eyebrows and you turn around. Nick's about five feet away from you. "So you gave her the speech," you say, teasing Nick.

He laughs and says, "I gave her the speech, yeah." You smile. "Now, here I am. Finally telling you how I feel about you. I like you, Y/N. I have for years. All those girls, I was with them to maybe distract myself from you because you're too damn good for me and I know you don't have feelings for me."

You smile and get flustered as you say, "I never said that I don't have feelings for you, Nick. Actually, it's the opposite. I've liked you since pretty much the day we met. I was almost jealous of all those girls you were talking to or dated. Scratch that, I was jealous of all those girls you talked to or dated because I wish I was them."

A wide smile forms on Nick's lips and he says, "All this time, I could have asked you out and been with you but instead I dated around."

You giggle, "You should have talked to me."

Nick walks up to you and says, "I really should have."

His hands cup your face and he pulls you into a passionate kiss. You smile into the kiss and put your hands on Nick's chest. He smiles against your lips as he slowly pulls back from the kiss.

Your eyes meet Nick's and he asks, "What does this mean for us? We'll never be the same after tonight."

"I want you," you say, staring up at Nick. "Do you want me?"

Nick smiles and nods. "Yeah, I do," he says. "I really want you."

Smiling, you say, "Then I'm yours. All yours. I've always been yours, Nick."

He leans down and kisses you again. His arms wrap around your waist and he lifts you up, spinning you around with your lips on his. You giggle into the kiss.

"Holy shit," you hear from the sliding back door. "It looks like it finally happened."

Nick pulls back and looks behind you. You turn around, standing beside Nick. His left arm is around your shoulder.

Matt, Kenny, Adam Page, Cody, Brandi, Adam Cole, and Britt all stand at the door. Matt has a huge smile on his face. "It did finally happen, didn't it?" the older Jackson asks.

You look up at Nick and he nods. "It finally happened," he says, looking down at you.

"Thank God," Kenny says. "It's about time. We all knew this would happen eventually and it finally freaking happened."

Nick's cheeks get red and you smile. "Guys, stop," you giggle. "Nick's getting all flustered."

Matt smiles and says, "Aw. Nicky's blushing."

You look up at Nick and you say, "It's kind of cute."

His cheeks get even more red and he tries to hide. You reach up and wrap your arms around his neck, and he hides his face in yours. The group laughs and you walk inside, rejoining the party.

[btsqualityy]

Scripted: Part 12

Namjoon x Reader; Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, President!Namjoon, Head of Security!Jimin

Warnings: (Reluctant) open relationship, mentions of cheating

Author’s Note: People that are in my tag list have been saying that they have not been getting the notifications that I’ve tagged them whenever I post a new part. I know it may sound harsh, but there’s really nothing that I can do about it. I’m not sure why Tumblr doesn’t allow some people to be tagged, but I have no idea on how to fix it. Anyways, I know this chapter is a little bare bones but that’s because the next two chapters are gonna be a ride loves lol I hope you guys enjoy it!

Everyone has those moments in their life where they have to admit that maybe, they’ve bitten off a little bit more than they can chew. Jimin has had many of these moments throughout his 25 years of life.

Being Chief of Naval Operations and being in charge of hundreds of men and being responsible for their lives on a daily basis provided Jimin with that feeling often. Hell, that feeling is part of what spurred him to take the job as Head of Security for you and Namjoon; in his way of thinking, it would be easier to be responsible for the lives of two people rather than hundreds. However, he never had to worry about falling in love and that potentially making it hard for him to do his job before, until he met you. 

Jimin couldn’t tell if he was in love with you or not. He loved being around you, because you ended up being so much different than what he had thought you’d be. You were funny, and sweet, and one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen in his life (besides his mother and Hana). You also were the strongest person he knew, replacing even himself because he still hasn’t been able to wrap his mind around how you deal with the whole “arrangement” thing. Also, he had never fallen for someone as quickly as he had for you; not even his ex-fiancee, so it kind of scared him.  

Despite how much Jimin liked you though, the obvious situation between you and Namjoon gave him pause, and rightfully so. While Jimin genuinely cared for you and found himself falling more for you everyday, he didn’t know if he’d be willing to wait another four and a half years until Namjoon’s term as President was up. If he did, that would mean four and a half years of sneaking around, not being able to show you off, and of having to tip toe around your husband. Jimin had always known that though; Hell, he knew it when he kissed you for the first time at the marketplace. It didn’t really hit him though, until Namjoon threatened him.

Threats didn’t bother Jimin. He was a fucking Naval Chief, for crying out loud. If it ever came to it, he knew he could kick Namjoon’s ass with no issues. The issue was that Jimin didn’t want to have to deal with that for four and a half more years. He didn’t want there to be this sense of competition between the two of them because in Jimin’s eyes, there was no competition. He was obviously the better choice, but how do you compete with someone’s husband, even if they are trash?

And these thoughts are what caused Jimin to kind of back off you a little bit. You guys were still talking and seeing each other almost every day, but there weren’t as many hugs, not as many kisses. Despite how much Jimin cared for you, he had already been hurt once and he was going to do his best not to let it happen again, his feelings be damned. 

“Park,” Namjoon called out and Jimin shook his head as he broke out of his thoughts and looked over at the President. Today, Namjoon was dedicating a new park that was built in memory of a fallen soldier in the Army. The whole occasion was very visible in terms of press, and there were many notable figures in Korea that were present. 

“Yes Sir?” Jimin replied.

“Make sure that you’re paying attention,” Namjoon told him firmly, and Jimin nodded in affirmation. “As soon as the speech is over, we’ll be saying hello to a few people and then leaving straight after.”

“Yes Sir,” Jimin repeated and Namjoon turned around, letting another one of the security guards lead him behind the stage. You then turned to Jimin once Namjoon was out of earshot, giving him a small, apologetic smile. 

“Sorry about him,” you said. “He’s been an even bigger dick than usual lately. I think it’s the farmer's crisis.”

“Don’t worry, it’s fine,” Jimin shrugged, looking down at his watch and you frowned lightly at his dismissive tone.

“Hey, you ok?” You asked softly, moving closer to him and letting your hand brush against his. “You’ve been acting weird lately.”

“I’m fine,” he told you, looking up at you and setting his hand on your lower back. “The speech is about to start so we need to get you to your seat.” You let him lead you down the steps and down into the seating area where all the guests were, plastering a fake smile onto your face as you waved to several of Namjoon’s colleagues. 

.................................................

If someone had asked you what Namjoon discussed in his dedication speech, you’d have no idea how to respond to them and that’s because your mind was preoccupied. Something was wrong, and you knew it. Jimin wasn’t necessarily acting different towards you, but he was indifferent and that rubbed you the wrong way. 

Once the speech was over and all of the guests present began to mingle, you were talking to the wife of the National Assembly leader when Namjoon stepped over to you.

“Hey, I ran into some old friends so we’re all going to go to lunch and catch up,” Namjoon informed you. “Did you want to come?”

“Um, I think I’ll go back to the House actually,” you smiled. “The benefit is in three days and I need to make sure everything’s in place.”

“Of course,” Namjoon nodded, leaning over and kissing your cheek. “Jimin’s gonna see you home and I’ll see you tonight.”

“Ok, be safe,” you told him and he smiled and nodded before turning and walking away.

“The two of you are such a beautiful couple,” Jisoo, the National Assembly leader’s wife gushed and you just chuckled. 

“Thank you Jisoo-ssi. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll be heading out now,” you said. “I do hope that I’ll see you Saturday at the benefit.”

“Absolutely,” Jisoo nodded. “I’ll be bringing my husband and his wallet.”

“Perfect,” you laughed, leaning over and kissing her cheek before waving and walking away from her to find Jimin, who was standing near the stage that had been set up for Namjoon to give his speech.

“Ready to go?” Jimin guessed before you could even say anything and you nodded your head.

“Beyond,” you murmured, expecting Jimin to at least chuckle at that but he just spoke some words into his earpiece before gesturing for you to walk in front of him. You just did as he wanted, making your way through the large crowd of guests and saying your goodbyes before you and Jimin made it to the front of the park, where your large limousine was waiting.

“After you,” Jimin said as he opened the door and held it for you, waiting for you to slide inside before he did the same and shut the door behind him.

“Just back to the Blue House,” Jimin told your driver, who nodded and rolled up the partition for you.

“I’m exhausted,” you whined, reaching down and pulling your high heels off of your feet. 

“You didn’t sleep last night, did you?” Jimin questioned and you shook your head.

“I did, but not much,” you admitted. “I’ve just been so anxious about the benefit, especially since it’s the first event that I’m spearheading as First Lady.”

“It’ll be fine Y/N-ah,” he assured you, reaching over and patting your knee lightly. “You’ve gone over every detail with painstaking accuracy.”

“I hope so,” you huffed with a smile but the smile promptly went away when Jimin dropped his hand away from your knee. “Jimin, are we ok?”

“Yeah, we’re good,” Jimin nodded but he didn’t look at you when he said it, and that kind of set you off.

“Jimin, don’t do this,” you snapped and Jimin looked up at you in surprise. 

“Don’t do what?” He questioned.

“I’m already married to a man who doesn’t talk to me about things, I don’t want that with you too,” you muttered softly and Jimin’s eyes widened.

“No no no,” he tutted, moving closer to you and wrapping his arm around your shoulders and you leaned into him, reveling in his touch. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.”

“Then why haven't you been talking to me?” You demanded gently. 

“I wanted to give you time to think,” he replied and your brows furrowed in confusion. “And give myself time to think too.”

“Think about what?”

“About us,” he said. “I know that you don’t want to be with Namjoon anymore but you also said that you aren’t sure how to get out of it, and I don’t know if I’d be willing to wait for four and a half more years.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me that?” You wondered.

“Because I didn’t want you thinking that I’m having second thoughts about what we’ve been developing,” he said, reaching over with his free hand and grabbing yours, intertwining your fingers with his. “My feelings for you are serious baby bird, and I just wanted to make sure that I was comfortable with it.”

“Because of my situation and your ex?” You asked/guessed and Jimin nodded.

“Developing feelings for a new person after you break up with someone that you thought you were gonna spend the rest of your life with is hard,” Jimin admitted. “I know that it’s taken a lot for you to be able to feel like you can trust me after everything that’s happened between you and Namjoon, but it’s taken a lot for me to be able to trust you too.”

“And I recognize that,” you nodded, taking your hand away from his and gently grabbing his chin. “I hope you realize that I don’t take your trust in me lightly.”

“I know you don’t,” Jimin smiled softly. 

“And my feelings for you are just as serious,” you confessed, a shy smile on your lips. “You’ve made me fall for you, Park Jimin.”

“Yeah?” He whispered and as soon as he registered the nodding of your head, he smashed his lips onto yours. Moaning in surprise, you moved your hand from his chin and set it on his neck as you kissed him back.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” You asked against his lips and he pulled away from you.

“Nothing much, since I’m off duty,” he told you. “Why?”

“How about if I come to your place tomorrow night and show you just how serious about you I really am?” You suggested and Jimin’s breathing visibly became uneven. “I guess that’s a yes?”

“That’s a fuck yes,” he replied breathlessly, making you laugh. “As much as I’d love it that though, don’t you have another event with Namjoon tomorrow night?”

“I can make up an excuse,” you replied immediately. “Say that I’m sick or something. I could say anything really and Namjoon probably wouldn’t even question it.”

“If you’re sure,” he relented and you grinned, leaning over and kissing him again. And that’s how the two of you stayed for the rest of the ride back to the Blue House, pressed up against each other in the backseat with passionate kisses and wandering hands. 

“Jimin, we’re here,” you giggled, the feeling of Jimin leaving kisses on your neck tickling your skin. 

“You sure about tomorrow night?” He double checked as he pulled away from your neck to look at you, and you nodded.

“More than sure,” you promised, pressing a quick peck to his lips before you bent down and quickly slipped your heels back on. He then turned around and opened the door, getting out of the limousine and holding the door open for you as you slid out. Once he shut the door, the two of you walked up the steps of the Blue House together.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” You said and Jimin smiled.

“Absolutely. I l-,” he almost told you but he caught himself, trying to ignore the suspicious look you gave him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye Jimin,” you giggled, giving him a quick wink before you turned around and opened the front door, stepping inside and shutting the door behind you. Jimin let out a breath that he hadn’t even know he was holding, his shoulders sagging when the reality of what he had almost let slip out of his mouth began to set in.

“God, I’m loosing my fucking mind over her,” Jimin chuckled, running both of his hands over his face as he turned and walked back down the steps, his mind wrapping around the fact that he now had the answer to whether he loved you or not. 

......................................................

Tag List:  @toddsgirl27 @leftieaquarius @joyfulkmusicfan @jennyjq @xcharlottemikaelsonx @pop228 @belatona @babebri144 @dragonqueen01 @paolaa9700 @yiarsan @sunshinein17 @daydreambrliever @lyralefayc @weirdestpersoninearth @peachesandcreamsthings @missseoulite @ramengrace @minyoongi-infiresme @0minabean0 @korkanswers @dchimminie @mysr3 @emily2404xx @leilalago @vonvi-blog @btsxdoll @heartfeltscribblings @nooooooooona @eternalmoonji @lyralefay @jikooksgirl19 @cloudbuffalo​ @moonsjoons @kjooniesbabygirl​

[the-lady-writes-what]

PSA About this very toxic and problematic Tumblr, PART 2

This is the comment they made on a post that depicts gay men marrying in different countries. While the post itself is wholesome and beautiful, this person decided to make it homophobic. Well, other people did it before with the typical “God’s going to send you to hell” rhetoric and vomit emojis. But gay men marrying each other is not “why we need feminism.” 

Why include the tags for black people and BLM? What do they have to do with this weird post? It’s one thing to inform your partners that you have an STD, at least then you’re trying to keep your partner safe. While I agree that we should de-stigmatize sexually transmitted diseases and stop slut shaming, I don’t know how I feel about someone looking for a pat on the back for contracting all three? This is why sex ed is important to PREVENT the spread of these diseases but also to treat patients with sympathy and to help people get common sense about their practices to prevent all three from happening.

First of all, I'm pretty sure ‘prostitute’ is on its way out. I believe the modern politically correct term is sex worker. Not everyone is obligated to date someone who is a sex worker or enjoy their profession. Some people are disgusted and they probably weren’t worth the date anyway. Some people might be a little uncomfortable with the idea. Sex work shouldn’t be romanticized and pushed as an ideal job. It’s hard, it’s emotionally taxing, and for full contact sex workers (i.e. sex workers who go all the way) it runs the risk of contracting STDs, physical harm and abuse, violence or death, and it can make it harder to find a traditional job if they choose to leave sex work. It’s a stereotype to label trans women as sex workers, especially when so many are killed every day due to that profession. Being a “slut” or enjoying a lot of sex doesn’t make one a sex worker. Sex is not a human right nor is it even the “biggest one we deserve” as access to shelter, food, and clean water trumps sex, but maybe that’s just my asexuality speaking for me.

Again, why drag BLM and black people into a post that doesn’t regard them except in the tags to get more views? That part is disgusting. What’s also gross is the assumption that all women or femme presenting people enjoy being called sluts. Some people do and find it empowering, and that’s good for them. However, not everyone feels that way. This post also disregards sex-repulsed asexuals and people who don’t have as much interest in sex or having multiple partners without being asexual (yes, those people exist).

I don’t know, chief. It sounds like you’re implying something you believe and are just covering your ass. As if saying the bare minimum makes up for the fact that this is the same blogger who uses the BLM tag in posts that don’t concern the movement or black rights?

Yeah, let’s not force people to come out, especially if they’re surrounded by family or a community that helped internalize that homophobia. This is an extreme view but torturing people isn’t going to make them come out of the closet. It certainly doesn’t help push them back in the closet, does it?

Again, why are you using the blm movement hashtag in a post like this? If you’re so pro-LGBT+, why is this so blatantly homophobic? You can’t support gay rights while discriminating against gay men and gay men marrying each other. Toxic masculinity is a thing, but fuck you if you’re going to swing so far left you start sounding like the anti-LGBT+ groups you hate so much.

You do not get to decide whether or not bisexuality is valid. You do not get to decide whether or not bisexual people exist. Its definition has changed slightly to mean at least two genders of attraction, but it certainly doesn’t me you can throw a pity party and claim that bisexuality is an “outdated term” and we should “scrap it” because you don’t think it’s valid. If anyone here is the bigot, it’s you.

Lady also means a woman of money and power. Freyja means “lady.” Do you think that Frejya, the Norse goddess of love, sex, war, and beauty and who decided which fallen warrior got to go to Valhalla was a “helpless little creature” for the gods to “domineer over and control and r-word...etc”? Should we never more refer to Isis (goddess) as Lady of the Green Crops or Great Lady of Magic? The fact that you will use slut to reclaim the word, but ‘lady’ can’t be reclaimed for others is hypocritical.

I’d hate to say it, but not everyone is gay and saying ‘I love you’ doesn’t have to mean romantic feelings for people. Asexual and aromantic people exist too. Hell, some people are just genuinely nice, loving, and really care about their friends and say stuff like that in a platonic way. Not everything is driven by desire for romance or being attracted to someone.

And that concludes this very long post. To cut it short, just block this user on sight. Don’t interact with them. Don’t say a word. Just BLOCK. @/revere-c-reyschism-blog

[blodreina-noumou]

What's your favorite underrated Murphy moment?

I can only pick one? Impossible! I’ll give you my top 3. In no particular order, because this man is underrated in countless ways!

1 - “Your plan was better, let’s go.”

In 4x01, Emori is scavenging and preparing to flee Polis in the aftermath of the City of Light fiasco. Murphy manages to convince her that they’ll be safe with Skaikru, which is a sweet scene on its own. But my favorite moment of his comes when we see him next. 

Polis is tense, on the verge of breaking out into battle, and Skaikru is planning how they’ll keep the peace long enough for Roan to wake up and retake control. Murphy walks up to Bellamy, who’s standing with Indra and Kane. Murphy only needs to hear about thirty seconds of their plan - which includes Bellamy risking his life and offering Azgeda guns, to keep Echo occupied long enough for Abby to save Roan - before he realizes that his assumptions of safety among his people were wrong. Still he plays along for a few moments more, quietly accepts Bellamy’s gun, and goes to pretend to stand post. But in reality, he finds Emori again, and says: 

“Remember what I said about being safe with my people? Yeah, your plan was better, let’s go.”

It’s a small moment, but it shows so much about what makes Murphy amazing. He’s a survivor, not because he’s “a cockroach,” but because he’s adaptable, charming, and resourceful. This scene shows that subtly but very clearly. He hears new information, gets his hands on a weapon, and changes his plans in the span of a single scene, without doing much more than staying quiet and assessing the situation - something most other characters in this show really struggle to do.

2 - “Do I get a gun now?”

In 2x03, Bellamy and Finn are leading a team in the woods to find Clarke - a team which includes Murphy, who is pretty fresh off his Total Douchebag phase of s1. Bellamy and Finn are including him in the search party out of a lack of options more than anything else, and Murphy himself is tagging along to avoid the scrutiny of Team Adult, who have recently touched down on Earth. Nobody trusts each other, and Bellamy is still treating Murphy as expendable.

Bellamy barks out orders to his squad, leaving Murphy without an assignment until the very end. Monroe asks what Murphy will do, causing him to quip: “Yeah, do I get a gun now?” 

Bellamy snarks, “Something like that.”

The next we see of Murphy, he’s crouched at the base of a tree, tapping two stones together, looking anxious but determined. He manages to lead the Grounder they’ve targeted to a secluded spot, where Bellamy can knock him out.

At this point, although we’ve had the humanizing moment of Murphy telling Raven his story, as they both lay dying on the floor of the dropship, Murphy is still a not-yet-reformed antagonist. He hasn’t taken part in trying to save the girl on the cliff, yet, and we haven’t seen him in contrast to Finn’s later unhinged violence. He’s got a long way to go from “guy who peed on someone who asked for water” to “dashing hero who got the girl and also became a godking.” 

Because of that, there are so many wonderful little moments that help transform him in s2, but this scene is one of my favorites. It’s one of the first times we get to see Murphy used as straight-up comic relief, which is something the show will go on to fully embrace about him in the later seasons.

But it’s also one of the first times the characters get to see that Murphy actually can be a team player, and that he will put himself on the line, given the proper circumstances. Murphy has the most reason out of any of them to be afraid of the Grounders, to want nothing to do with them, to protect himself above all else - he was tortured by them, brutally, then used as a biological weapon against his people by them, and then tortured again. 

It would’ve been 100% his right to say, “No, go float yourself, I’m not facing these monsters without a gun.” But he’s brave, and far more heroic than he ever gets credit for, especially early on. This aspect of his personality only continues to develop and blossom over the next five seasons, and it’s beautiful to watch.

3 - “Tell me about Harper.”

4x13 is actually one of my all-time favorite episodes. I think it’s one of the few times this show has managed to expertly blend meaningful character moments with a compelling, exciting plot. We get to see so many sides of everyone, and the exchanges between Murphy and Monty are some of the best.

Monty (somewhat rightfully) distrusts and dislikes Murphy at this point, as the only real experience he’s had with him was when Murphy threatened to kill Jasper in early s1. Monty is freshly grieving Jasper, and it’s clear he resents Murphy’s presence. But Monty and Murphy must work together, if any of them stand a chance of surviving - including the two women they each love above anyone else, Harper and Emori, respectively.

The men are struggling to carry back a machine vital to their survival on The Ring. Monty has injured himself by removing his gloves in an effort to recover the machine, causing serious radiation burns on his hands, and he’s in a lot of pain. Despite Monty’s less-than-warm attitude towards him, Murphy does everything he can to support Monty and to distract him from his pain. 

The entire exchange is worth rereading, if it’s been a moment for y’all (it had been, for me):

(After forcing his gloves back over his radiation-burned hands, Monty reaches to lift the machine.)

Murphy: Hey, no no no no no, not with your hands, okay? I’ll do it.

Monty: It’s too heavy to carry all the way by yourself. On three. One, two, three!

(They lift the machine together, and Monty screams in agony.)

Murphy: Who knew you were a secret badass?

(Murphy and Monty start carrying the machine together, over the uneven terrain, through the pouring black rain.

Monty screams in pain again. It’s clear each step is excruciating.)

Murphy: Hey hey hey, watch your step. It’s probably a bad idea to drop the thing that’s gonna save our lives, huh?

(Monty is starting to flag, his exhaustion apparent in his face. He keeps grunting and crying out in pain.)

Murphy: Okay, okay - focus on me. Tell me about Harper.

(Monty stares up at Murphy incredulously, swaying on the spot.)

Murphy: You guys seem pretty serious, you uh, tell her you love her yet? If not, I mean, today might be the day.

Monty: I’ve told her.

Murphy (smiles): It’s crazy how it changes you, isn’t it?

Monty then proceeds to pass out. Murphy begs him to stay conscious, but after a few moments, it’s clear that he’s on his own, and that Monty is in serious danger. Murphy has to make a choice, and he makes the right one - he lifts the incredibly heavy, lifesaving machine all on his own, and staggers back to the lab, leaving Monty behind. Fortunately, they’re able to save Monty later, and he says one of my favorite Monty lines: 

“You chose the machine!? I may not hate you anymore.”

Monty and Murphy bonded here, over their love for the incredible women in their lives, and over the unfortunate and harsh reality that some things are worth dying for, worth being in pain for, worth sacrificing other people for. This scene shows so much - Murphy’s pragmatism, but also his romantic nature, his reliance on humor as a defense mechanism, and his willingness to do difficult things to survive. It’s peak John Murphy, way back in s4. 

My love for him, which had been growing strong since s2, was fully sealed with this scene.

He has many more memorable moments, but this is long enough. Thanks so much for the question! It really helps me write meta when people ask specific things. And I’ve never had the chance to really talk about Murphy!

[justahopelessssromantic]

Finding Hope: Part 3

A/N: Hey guys here’s another update for you ❤️ I’ve honestly had this like 99% done for a while now so I thought I’d finish it up and get it posted. I hope you all enjoy and as always thank you so very much for reading, it means the world to me 🥰💖

If anyone would like to be added to the tag list or removed please let me know

Finding Hope Masterlist

Thank you so much @carlaangel86 for making me another wonderful and beautiful collage 😘

*credit to the original owners of the pictures*

Warnings: Angst; violence and mentions of drug use

Word Count: 4933

Daniella had spent the first few weeks of living in Santo Padre while working at Romero Brother’s Scrapyard just getting acclimated to her new life outside of prison and this crazy new role as guardian to Hope. She took to her job quickly, picking everything up with ease. The work wasn’t exciting but it was a job and most importantly a chance to get to know Bishop better. Plus she had a great view of the guys while they worked. If she was going to be around men so much she might as well get to enjoy it a little bit. She had spent the past three years surrounded by women. She deserved a little bit of eye candy. And boy were they easy on the eyes. Especially Ezekiel Reyes with his incredibly buff biceps. 

For her EZ was the safest option. He was attractive, had a body built like a god and she had no feelings or urges to pursue him in any way. He was simply just a pleasant view. Nothing more. 

Daniella rested her head against her arm as her other hand fidgeted with the pen between her fingers. Her focus was currently on EZ as he did the scut work around the yard. Just behind him was Angel, his sponsor, watching him as he worked and he had a cigarette break. Angel looked up catching Daniella’s eyes as they flicked from EZ to him. 

She bit her lip, quickly looking away and back down to the schedule which she was supposed to be filling out for the next month. She prayed he would not come her way but of course with Angel that never worked. 

“Working hard?” Angel asked as he stepped into the small office smelling strongly of cigarette smoke. Fuck Daniella could really use a smoke right now. 

Daniella ignored him as she tried to focus on the schedule. “Is there something you need? If you want time off you have to run it by Bishop fist.” It was best to keep things curt with Angel. If she gave him an inch he’d take a whole fucking mile. 

Angel also ignored her comment continuing with what he wanted to say. “I see you’ve been checking out my baby bro.” He wasn’t stupid, he saw it. How could he not when he was always watching her? He’d watch her watch EZ and feel that familiar resentment towards his younger brother. Of course Daniella wouldn't give him the time of day but would ogle over Ezekiel, the golden boy. 

“Don’t you have work to do?” Daniella asked, finally looking up at him. 

“Don’t you?” 

“What the hell does it look like I’m doing?” Daniella set her pen down giving up on getting anything done here. 

“Looks like you were too busy drooling over EZ." Angel leaned back against the wall. "I don’t think that’s in the job description.”

“And you drooling over me is?” 

"Well you're much better looking than all those assholes I've seen everyday for years." Angel stated matter of factly. 

Daniella rolled her eyes. She was about to ask Angel to leave when Chucky came in behind Angel. 

“There’s a man here for you.” Chucky said, ignoring Angel as he addressed Dani.

“A man?” Angel asked, looking between Chucky and Dani. Who the hell was this man looking for her?

Daniella’s mind began running around who all could possibly be here for her. She didn’t know enough people in Santo Padre for it to be anyone here which meant only one thing. Whoever it was was from her past. “Did he say who he was, Chucky?” She asked him, also ignoring Angel. 

“No, just said he was looking for you.”

“Well what did he look like?” Daniella was trying to figure out if whoever it was was someone she should face or if she should bail out the back. 

“Tall, muscular, blond hair, very handsome.” Chucky smiled describing the man. 

Angel did not like the description of this guy at all. He hadn’t even seen the guy but the mother fucker sounded like a real douche. And handsome? Fuck that. 

“Fuck,” Daniella muttered standing up from her chair. It was Reilly, her ex, had to be. Sooner or later someone was bound to find her. She was not surprised at all that it was him.

“Everything okay?” Angel asked as he watched her head for the door. She was already in a mood as she always was when Angel was around but she seemed even more upset, almost caught off guard by the surprise visitor.

“Yeah, just fucking peachy.” She mumbled before stepping out past Chucky. 

Angel and Chucky watched her walk away from the office towards the front gate. “Who the fuck is this guy Chucky?” Angel asked, not taking his eyes away from Dani.

“I think he’s Hope’s father,” Chucky informed Angel watching Dani as well. Based off of her reaction and the picture the man had showed him he was almost certain that’s who he was. “He showed me a picture of him and Daniella. They looked good together, happy.”

Angel didn’t like this one bit. 

Daniella made her way to the gate where she found Reilly waiting. Her blood was boiling as she stared him down. He just grinned at her smugly, his dimples showing. She wanted to smack them and that smile right off his stupd face. 

“You look good.” He said looking her up and down. It was true, she looked better than he had ever seen her. Prison was hell he knew that but it also got her out of her toxic life. If she wasn’t going to let him help her at least she got out somehow. 

“What are you doing here?” Daniella asked, crossing her arms. She wanted to make it very known to him that he was not wanted nor welcome here. 

“I’ve been looking for you.”

“Yeah? Well you’ve found me.” 

“Your mom sent me to find you. She’s in rehab. They found her in her home after she OD’d.” Reilly watched Danilla’s expressions carefully looking for anything that may give her away. “They also found Billy at the bottom of the stairs in rough shape. He’s in a coma, for now.”

“And?” Daniella raised her eyebrow. “Is there a reason you’re telling me all this?” She already knew all this although the part about her mother and Billy being alive was new. 

She was there afterall. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you?” Rowena asked looking at Daniella as she stared at the home she grew up in, the place that held so much pain for her. 

“I’m sure. Thanks Ro, but I have to do this alone.” Daniella looked back giving Rowena a smile before exiting her vehicle and making her way up the cracked sidewalk to the front door. 

Without knocking she opened the door entering the house the stench almost knocking her out. She stopped in the doorway, her body filling with dread. She hoped to never step foot in this place again but here she was. 

Just get in, get your money, and get the fuck out she reminded herself. 

She pushed through making her way down the hallway. She tried to push the memories to the back of her mind. She didn’t want to remember the time her mother first shoved the needle in her or the time when Billy broke her arm or when Reilly told her he loved her. She didn’t want to remember any of it. The house held pieces of her she wished were dead, things she longed to forget. 

The TV played faintly from the living room, she could hear the Price Is Right’s theme song. Cigar smoke billowed out from the room. She assumed Billy was in there. He was a creature of habit. Every day he’d watch his show getting high. If she was lucky she could make her way past him without him even knowing. 

Unfortunately she wasn’t lucky. 

“Daniella, is that you?” She heard his gruff voice call out. 

She should have ignored him. All she had to do was keep walking but no she stopped to entertain him. “Who else would it be?” 

Billy smirked spreading his legs open as he leaned back into his recliner. “Come sit on Daddy’s lap.” He said, patting his leg. “If you’re a good girl and do as I say I might just give you a treat.”

His smile was sickening. 

She gulped, swallowing the bile that creeped up her throat. How many times had she heard that before? No she wouldn’t think about that right now, couldn’t. She wouldn’t go there. “Where’s my mother?” 

“How the fuck should I know?” He snarled, putting out his cigar. “Doesn’t matter. She never minded sharing before.”

Daniella squeezed her trembling hands into fists. Just breathe, she reminded herself. She should have never come here. She wasn’t going to do this. She made her way further down the hall and to the kitchen. 

The smell was much worse there. 

The small room was filled with used dishes, trash, and needles. How anyone could live like this was beyond her. She couldn’t believe she used to live in these very same conditions. 

Never again, this wasn’t her life anymore. This wasn’t who she was. 

She opened the drawer beside the sink that was filled with dirty disgusting water. She scrunched her nose up at the sight before pulling all the junk out of the drawer. 

“It’s not in there.” Billy was now standing in the doorway watching her, his eyes on her ass. She really had grown into quite the woman. 

Daniella tried to ignore the chill that ran through her body as the hair on the back of her neck rose up. Of course she should have known that they would have found her hiding space eventually. Taking a deep breath she turned around to look at him. “I want my money Billy. I earned that shit.” 

“After everything your mother and I did for you, you come in here expecting more?” Billy took a step towards her. If she wasn't already backed into the counter she would have taken one herself. ”You always were an ungrateful little bitch.”

“Just give me my money and I’ll be out of your hair.” Daniella said through clenched teeth. 

“You should have been out of my hair already if only the stupid bitches had done their job,” Billy smiled as he approached Daniella loving how she instinctively tried to make herself smaller as if she could disappear. “You know what they say. You want a job done well, you gotta do it yourself.”

Billy lunged for Daniella. Daniella barely dodged him before he caught her slamming her against the counter before shoving her head into the sink full of water holding her under. Daniella gasped and sputtered as the water filled her lungs. She grasped onto the side of the sink desperately feeling around for anything. Her hand finally felt something. She grabbed a hold of the handle swinging the object back colliding it with Billy just enough to get him off of her. 

Daniella gasped and coughed as she clutched onto the sink. She had never been so thankful for fresh air in her life. She didn’t nearly have enough time to gather herself. Before Billy could have the mind to try again she quickly fled past him where he had been clutching his head. 

“Get back here bitch!” Billy called out coming after her. 

Daniella frantically made her way through the house stealing a glance back every now and then. Billy wasn’t far behind. She quickly rounded the corner and rushed up the stairs taking them two at a time. She was just at the top when she felt Billy’s large hand grab her shoulder yanking her back. Daniella grabbed onto the railing to keep herself from going down. Her back slammed against it as she heard the loud thud from Billy going down, tumbling down the stairs. 

Looking back she stared at his still body for a moment in shock. The adrenaline was pumping through her body as she tried to determine if he had been breathing or not. She really hoped he fucking wasn't. 

She stared a little longer in disgust before heading back up the rest of the stairs. She was here for her money and she'd be damned if she left empty handed. 

She made her way down the hall before she reached the second to last door and stopped. She looked at the beat up door. The paint was chipping and the handle was still busted from Reilly. 

Just more shit she didn't want to remember. 

There was no time for taking a trip down memory lane. 

Daniella finally made it to her mother’s room. It was quiet and no one came out after Billy so she assumed she was either not home or just so out of it she didn’t hear or care about the noise the two created. Slowly Daniella opened the door peeking in. She cursed as she saw her mother’s figure across the floor by the foot bed with a needle still in her arm. 

She nudged her with her foot once and got nothing. Next she leaned over looking for any signs of life but didn’t find any. “I told you that shit would kill you one day.” She spat glaring down at her mother’s lifeless body. 

Stepping over her mother she opened the closet in search of Billy’s money. What she wasn’t expecting to find was the soft brown eyes of a small girl who couldn’t be any older than three.  

“Jesus Christ,” Daniella muttered, squatting down to be level with her. Hope just stared back at her, thumb securely in her mouth with her bear wrapped in her arms. Her eyes were puffy and full of tears. “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.” She told her, reaching out towards her. It took a moment but eventually Hope removed her hand from her mouth and took Daniella’s hand. 

Daniella couldn’t just leave her there, so she did the only thing any decent human being would do. She got herself and Hope the hell out of there.   

Reilly sighed running his hand through his hair. “I’m telling you this as a friend.”

Daniella scoffed. Reilly had some nerve coming here and claiming to be her friend. He didn't care about her and never would. He proved that a long time ago. 

“Don’t be like that Dani. You don’t exactly have a lot of friends right now. If I were you I wouldn't drive away the few you do.” He warned her. She may not be able to see it but he loved her. Everything he did was for her, to protect her. 

“I don’t need anyone and I certainly don’t need you Reilly. I’m just fine on my own.”

 “And you’re on your own?” 

“Are you asking if I’m seeing anyone? Because our ship sailed the fuck away a long time ago and it’s never coming back.” She wasn’t stupid. She knew Reilly was still hung up on her. In his mind he was just the hero, rescuing her, but at the end of the day he fucking used her and Daniella does not forgive easily. 

“No, fuck no.” Reilly chuckled. He knew there was no one. Daniella wouldn’t let anyone in enough to enter her life like that and certainly any poor sucker she did wouldn’t last long. “I’m asking about Hope.” 

“Hope?” 

“Don’t play dumb Dani. I’m not stupid.” Reilly stuck his thumbs in his belt loops switching his weight on his feet. “Look Joselyn doesn’t know she’s gone yet but when she does she’s going to come looking for you first and Billy, well you better just pray he never wakes up and finds out about the missing money.” 

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” 

Reilly nodded seeing right through her. Daniella was stubborn, he knew that better than anyone. “Just so you know I’ll be around for a while. I like Santo Padre. It’s a good change of scenery.” 

“Do whatever it is your cold dead heart desires. I don’t care.” But she did care. The last thing she needed was Reilly around watching her. 

“I’ll see you around Dani.”

“Hopefully not.” 

“Who the fuck is that?” Bishop asked nodding towards Dani and the man who was talking to her. He squinted his eyes trying to see him better in the bright sunlight. 

“No idea,” Creeper said leaning forward onto the picnic table. All the guys were outside watching, trying to get a read on the guy and the situation.

Angel came over to the guys with Chucky just behind him. Pulling out his pack of cigarettes he looked back at Daniella and the man before addressing his brothers. “Chucky says he’s the father. Dani didn’t seem too happy to have him here.” Although Angel was sure he was more upset by the surprise visitor than her. 

“The piece of shit?” Bishop asked, staring down Reilly. “Did he tell you anything Chucky?”

“Nope. Just that he was looking for Daniella.” Chucky watched the tense expression on Bishop’s face and then looked over to the two as well. There was something there Chucky just wasn’t quite sure what yet. 

“What are they saying?” Angel asked leaning down next to Coco who was watching intently as well.

“Does it look like I can fucking read lips to you?’” 

“I don’t know. You’re the fucking sniper.” Angel shot back. “You’re supposed to have good eyesight and shit.”  

“Maybe if you two idiots would shut up we could hear.” Hank told the two taking a smoke from Angel. 

Taza patted Bishop on the shoulder leaning down to his ear. “You okay brother?” 

“Just fucking peachy.” Bishop muttered, not taking his eyes off Reilly who he could see just past Daniella whose back was to the men. If looks could kill he’d be a dead man. 

Daniella watched Reilly leave until he was completely out of sight. She finally relaxed a little having him gone but she couldn’t shake the gnawing anxiety in the pit of her stomach. Her mother and Billy were supposed to be dead. Everything would be so much easier if they were dead. Now she was really fucked. 

Why couldn’t they just fucking stay dead?

Daniella shot a quick text to Letty telling her to stay in today and keep Hope home. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was going to do now with Reilly here. She couldn't hide Hope forever but she couldn’t trust him to not betray her again. 

Shoving her phone back in her pocket she turned around to find all the guys looking her way. Just as soon as she caught them they all turned away pretending to be preoccupied by anything at all, well all except Bishop, Taza, and Angel. They didn’t care if they got caught watching. 

Daniella’s eyes met Bishop’s for a second. There was something there, something that made her uneasy. She wasn’t threatened or put off by him. He just looked caring, loving, protective even. He made her feel all the things a father should and that made her nervous. 

Fuck she was making things up in her mind. It was a terrible idea to work for Bishop. She should have gone somewhere else, anywhere but here.

She didn't feel like talking to any of the guys right now. She knew what they would have a million questions and she needed some time to clear her head before she talked to any of them. She headed back towards the office and sure enough before long Angel was beside her. 

"You okay?" He asked her. He watched her face as she kept her eyes dead ahead refusing to look his way. "Who was that guy? Was he bothering you?" 

“Not now Reyes.” She snapped, slamming the door to the office behind her. Leaning back against the door she ran her hands over her face. She wanted to scream but was afraid that would draw even more unwanted attention to her. Instead she just muttered another fuck plopping down in her chair before burying her face in her arms on the desk. 

Of course when she finally felt like she was settling down, like her and Hope could make a home here, that’s when everything had to go to shit. 

Daniella looked up as she heard the door to the office open. She was sure she would see Chucky or Angel but to her surprise it was Bishop. 

“That guy giving you trouble?” He asked her, walking up to the desk. 

“No he’s harmless.” It wasn’t Reilly she was most concerned about right now but her mother and Billy. They were the real threat. Reilly was just a pawn to them. “Do you mind if I go home early? I got everything done for the day.” 

“Go ahead, take the rest of the day.” He gave her a smile. Even though she said Reilly wasn’t a threat he could see she was rattled by him or whatever it was he said. “Chucky can handle the rest. I’ll have Angel escort you home. Just to make sure there are no problems.” Angel had already approached Bishop about taking her home. 

Daniella couldn’t believe he was sending a babysitter with her, especially Angel. “That’s really not necessary. I’ll be fine.” She insisted. 

“He’ll just make sure you get there alright then head back here.” Quite frankly he didn’t care if Dani wanted this or not. He didn’t like that asshole out here today. Maybe he couldn’t protect her all those years ago but he sure as hell was going to do all he could to protect her now.  

“Why? I can handle Reilly.” 

“Because that’s what we do around here Dani. We look after each other.” Yes there was a little more to it because of their connections but he wasn’t doing anything he wouldn’t do for anyone else who worked with them or were a part of their family. “Just do this for me. It’ll give me one less thing to worry about.”

Dani didn’t have the energy to argue right now. She weighed her options a moment thinking of any other possible person who could escort her home but she assumed that if Bishop suggested Angel that he already went through the options himself. “Okay, fine.”

“You know you really don’t have to walk me all the way to my door.” Dani told Angel as they climbed the steps to her apartment. She was annoyed enough that he had to follow her all the way home. She figured he would keep going as soon as she parked in front of the building but nope he pulled in behind her and here they were now.

“Yeah, well Bishop will have my ass if I don’t make sure you are inside safe and sound.” He said smugly. It was more for him than Bishop but it was a good enough excuse. Really he wanted to make sure that asshole from earlier wasn’t waiting there and he wanted to know exactly where she lived. “How’s Hope?” 

“She’s good.” Dani smiled a little thinking of Hope. Hope still hadn’t completely warmed up to Dani but they were getting used to having each other. Dani had learned a lot about the young girl. She learned the things that Hope liked and disliked, she learned how to understand her more even though she still wouldn’t really talk, and she learned how to comfort her on those heartbreaking nights when Hope had nightmares. 

She was getting used to having the little girl around. She was all in with her. Dani had never loved as deeply for another as she had Hope. That’s what made Reilly being around, having Hope’s parents alive so much scarier. If it was just her that would be one thing but now she had Hope. She couldn’t let anything happen to Hope. 

“Are you okay?” Angel asked her again, noticing how her smile turned to a frown. 

“I’m fine. It’s just been a day.” 

Angel didn’t really care if he was prying. He had to confirm what Chucky had told him. “That guy today, is he Hope’s father?” 

Dani was taken back a moment. She wanted to laugh at that but it wasn’t a bad assumption. Reilly was going to be around anyways. “Yeah, he’s the one.” 

"What's he doing here? Is he giving you trouble about Hope?" Angel stopped behind Dani as they reached her apartment. 

She turned around looking up at him. "A little, but he's harmless. Trust me I can handle him." It wasn't a complete lie. He was asking about Hope. "Now is this good enough or are you going to have to do a whole sweep of my apartment?" 

"I mean it wouldn't hurt anything." Angel shrugged. 

"I was being sarcastic.” Dani crossed her arms. Angel smirked, he loved when she did that. “I’ll see you tomorrow Reyes.” 

“I’m not going anywhere until I see you get inside safely. Orders are orders.” Angel smirked. She was stubborn but so was he. 

Daniella gave him a cheesy smile before turning back around and opening her door. Once inside she looked back at him and held her arms out. “See? I’m inside safely now so goodbye.” 

Angel glanced back past Dani to Hope and a young girl on their couch watching a show. The girl looked over at them furrowing her eyebrows at him. She looked like she could be related to Dani. The two had matching attitudes and all. “Call if you need anything.” He said seriously. As much as he enjoyed flirting he was more concerned for Dani and Hope’s well being right now. “Someone will always be around if you need them.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind, goodbye Angel.” Dani watched as he turned around and headed back down the stairs. She stepped out the door so she could see him leave completely. 

Angel smirked, feeling her gaze on his back. He turned around the smirk still all over his face. “See ya tomorrow little mama.”

Fuck did he irritate her. 

“Who was that?” Letty asked from behind Daniella startling her. “He’s hot.” 

Dani turned around giving her a look. “He’s too old for you so don’t even think about it.” 

“Does he have a brother?” Letty passed Hope to Daniella following her into the house, closing the door behind them. 

“Also too old for you.” Dani rolled her eyes. “Look we’ll find you a boy. A boy your own age.” She stressed. Letty didn't need to be messing around with any older men.

“Do you like him?” Letty pried following Daniella into the kitchen. Her mind was stuck on the hottie with Dani. There was definitely something there and Letty wanted to know everything. Dani set Hope on the counter before going into the fridge pulling out the leftover take out they had from the night before. “Is there something going on there?” Letty smirked hopping onto the counter with Hope handing her the blue sippy cup full of orange juice.

“What? With Angel?” Daniella placed the food on the counter and pulled out a couple of forks. “No, absolutely not. There is nothing there. You’re crazy.” 

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” Letty teased. “He obviously likes you and you’d be crazy to not find him attractive. You can at least fuck him. I bet he’d be really good in bed.” Letty opened one of the containers grabbing a fork to dig in. 

Daniella glared back at Letty. “Would you please just shut the fuck up and eat your damn food?” Daniella picked Hope off the counter, settling her on her hip. 

“Come on after so many years locked up with no dick you deserve a little something... or a big something.” Letty smirked thinking about Angel. “He’s definitely packing.” 

“Oh my god Letty. Shut the fuck up.” Daniella laughed pushing Letty playfully. 

“I’m just saying.” Letty hopped off the counter grabbing the food before walking after Dani towards the living room. “Would it really be so bad?”

“With Angel? Yes.” Daniella set Hope on a pillow in front of the coffee table. She then settled next to her dishing some of the food onto a plate for Hope. “That's exactly what a man like him wants. I can't give in." 

"So you do want to fuck him?" 

Dani glared at Letty. "I never said that."

"You haven't said you didn't want to either." Letty pointed out with a smirk. She leaned forward grabbing the remote as she ignored Dani's stare. She figured she'd drop it for now. "What do you want to watch?"

"Anything." Dani shrugged as she turned her attention to her food. It’s not like her mind would be all there to enjoy a show anyways. She smiled down at Hope as she watched her pick the carrots out of her food to eat.

"Okay." Turning on the TV Letty decided on Friends. She sat back enjoying the light show as she dug in herself. Anything was better than being at home. As long as Dani didn't mind her hanging around she would often stay a little longer after Dani got home. At least here she felt welcome and safe. With Dani she felt accepted. It was something Letty wanted to enjoy but also not get too comfortable in. For now though she wasn't going to worry about it. 

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[hopelikethemoon]

Coffee (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Coffee Rating: PG-13 Length: 2700 Warnings: A brief discussion about abortions.  Notes: You can find the Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline here. And release order here. Set early February 1998. My personal headcanon for Reader/Annie is Phoebe Tonkin and Elena is Camilla Mendes. They are supposed to look strikingly similar. And if you don’t know my backstory for Reader it’s alluded to in this chapter.  Summary: Reader meets up with an old acquaintance. 

Taglist:  @grapemama  @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes @thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow @hiscyarika @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale  @roxypeanut @just-add-butter @snivellusim @amarvelousmandalorian @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper @awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano @beskar-droids @space-floozy @cable-kenobi @longitud-de-onda @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @seeking-a-great--perhaps @frietiemeloen @arrowswithwifi @random066 @uncomicalhumour @heather-lynn @domino-oh-damn @cyarikaaa @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl  @yabby-girl @xqueenofthecraziesx @punkass-potato @coredrive @pascalesque @theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar @sabinemorans @buckstaposition​ (if I forget to tag you, I’m sorry)

Elena greeted you with a warm hug, “It’s so good to see you again. It has been such a long time.”

“I know.” You squeezed her back, before you released her and sat down at the table. “You look good.”

“So do you.” Elena assured you as she sat down across from you. “I did not know you and Javier were here in Miami. What a small world.”

You laughed, “When Connie mentioned someone from Colombia who bore a resemblance to me…” You gestured between the two of you, “I was shocked.”

She nodded, “As was I. When Connie found me on Monday and told me about the connection, I was floored.” Elena rested her chin on her palm, propping her elbow on the table. “Of all the people I knew in Colombia.”

“I tried to get Javier to come, but…” You shrugged, chewing on your bottom lip. Javier couldn’t understand why you were so determined to meet with one of his informants — especially since that part of his life was well and truly in the past. But it wasn’t that. You had actually liked Elena. There were no hard feelings towards her. 

She deserved better than the situation she was in in Colombia. 

“The last time I saw him, you had just told him you were pregnant.” Elena mused with a slight smirk. “I had never seen Javier scared before. After everything he’d endured, it was the promise of fatherhood that brought him to his knees.”

You smiled wistfully. “It wasn’t the best situation.”

“No,” Elena shook her head slowly. “I told him years before he should’ve acted on his feelings. But he ignored me.”

“What?” Your brows furrowed. 

Elena gestured between the two of you, “The first time I met him, I could’ve sworn he’d seen a ghost.”

A knot coiled in the pit of your belly. You weren’t a fool — you had known that your similarities with Elena were no coincidence. He hadn’t just sought her out for her the information. “I remember walking into that motel room and…” You frowned. 

Years later, you still didn’t know how to explain your feelings on that situation. It wasn’t like you and Elena were identical, but it was close enough that if you squinted the similarities were all there. It had left you with a strange fire in your veins. 

“He adored you.” Elena stated firmly. “I was almost jealous that there was a good man like him left to pine after someone who didn’t want him.”

You shook your head, “I wanted him, I just… You know how Javier was.”

“I do.” She agreed. “I’m glad things worked out for the two of you. Javier was one of the few good men who came through the doors of the brothel. He deserved a happy ending.”

“He’s the best father. Those girls are his everything.” You told her. 

“Girls?”

You laughed and nodded, “We have two daughters now.”

“Connie didn’t mention that.” She laughed. “Javier is a father two times over?”

“Sofía will be one in June.”

“Congratulations.” Elena smiled at you. “What do you do now? I assume you are not with the DEA.”

“Javier teaches,” You explained. “And I’m contracted with the Miami PD to handle narcotics training.”

“Still kicking ass.” Elena brought her coffee cup to her lips and took a sip. “I’m impressed.”

You grabbed your purse off the back of the chair, pulling out your wallet. “This was our family photo for Christmas.” You said as you slid the picture across the table.

“Look at the four of you!” She grinned at you, “You have a beautiful family.”

You beamed, “They're pretty cool, I guess.” Elena passed the picture back to you and you stared down at it. “I can’t believe how big Josie is getting.” 

The photographer had been so frustrated with you. He was determined to get the classic Christmas card picture with the tree in the background and one of the kids holding a present. But that wasn’t your style. You both wanted a picture that represented your family. 

 Javier had worn a pair of dark blue slacks with a white shirt.  He’d rolled up his sleeves to his elbow and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt beneath a tie Josie had picked out. Neither of you were the Christmas sweater type. You had, however, gotten the girls matching dresses, navy blue with silver snowflakes. And your own silver maxi dress was meant to tie the four of you together. 

 You loved all the pictures from the shoot, but the one you carried around was your favorite. Josie was sitting in her father’s lap, cheesing for the camera, while you sat beside him with your cheek against his shoulder as you helped Sofía balance on her feet in front of you. It wasn’t a picture-perfect Christmas card family — but it was all yours. 

 “Are you living with your cousin?” You questioned, lifting your gaze back to her as you tucked the photo back into your wallet. 

“You remembered! Santiago lives in Tampa. I lived with him while I went to school, but I’m on my own now.” Elena explained with a polite smile. “He visits when he can.”

“That’s great. I’m glad you have family nearby.”

“He helped a lot when I first arrived.” She shook her head slowly, “I just knew I couldn’t stay in Colombia.”

“I’m glad you got out when you did.” You assured her, “Things were heating up near the end.” 

“I’m sure it was.” She nodded, “What prompted the two of you to leave?”

You tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, leaning your elbow against the table as you looked out the window to your right. “The DEA wasn’t exactly thrilled that I was pregnant,” You explained. “They did everything in their power to make me miserable and it worked. After Josie was born, Javier and I came clean about who the father was and I was let go.” You shrugged. “He quit and we left the country.”

Elena rolled her eyes, “I’m not surprised the rest of the DEA are swine.”

“They certainly were.” You laughed, “And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I’m actually working on exposing them.” 

“Really?”

You nodded. “Javier requested all of the files my name was in. It’s a stack of them.” You sank back in your seat, glancing out the window again. “We’ve got a reporter covering it. The first article is supposed to drop in the Washington Post next month.” 

“Holy shit.” She leaned against the table. “You’re really trying to take them down, aren’t you?”

You rubbed at the back of your neck as you looked back at her, “They omitted me entirely from the reports about Escobar. It’s just Steve and Javi.” 

She frowned, “But you were right there.” 

“Yeah.” Your brows furrowed and you shook your head. “They essentially redacted me from the history books, simply because I had Josie.” 

“That’s bullshit.” She took another sip of her coffee, staring at you. “You were so dedicated to your job. Not only was that plain to see when we worked together, but Javier…” She pressed her lips together. “He was proud of you.” 

“Did he really talk about me that much?”

Elena shrugged, “I did not expect to see him again after the first time you and I worked together. I don’t know if he realizes how much he said without really saying anything. But it was clear he cared about you more than as just a partner.”

You sat up a little straighter then. “We’ve had a lot of discussions about that period in our lives. It’s just nice to hear from an outside source that I wasn’t alone in my… feelings.”

Elena pushed her hair behind her shoulders, smiling a little at you. “I really thought he was an idiot for not saying something to you. I did try to get him to.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Luckily we are better about talking things through. It’s an uphill battle sometimes, but we try.” You leaned against the table. “So, how’d you get into social work?”

“It felt natural. I wanted to do something to give back. Ideally, I would like to work with women who are in difficult situations, but the hospital is a stepping stone to that.” Elena took another sip of coffee. “I’ve been volunteering at a women’s shelter downtown, which has been really fulfilling.” 

You smiled, “I wish I had more time to help the community. Javi’s got a full class schedule this semester and Monica is juggling a lot on her plate.”

“Monica?” Elena questioned with an arched brow. 

“Oh.” You laughed softly as you grabbed your wallet again, shuffling through the pictures before you produced a picture that had been taken at Thanksgiving. “Monica is one of Javier’s students. We’ve essentially adopted her into our family.” 

She gave you a look. 

“Her parents are not… understanding. To put it lightly.” You explained, “She’s been helping us with the girls, but she just started dating a really sweet girl and I don’t want her missing out on that.” 

Her eyes widened, “Ah.” 

“Exactly,” You shrugged with a short laugh. “We tried to get her to join us for the family photo at Christmas, but the lure of Nadia was too strong. They have this arcade they go to all the time.” You rolled your eyes. “I don’t get the appeal.” 

An incredulous sound escaped Elena as she stared at you, “You really did it, didn’t you?” 

“Did what?” 

“Domesticated Javier Peña.” 

You laughed loudly, much to the annoyance of the older couple sitting at the table behind you. “Sorry.” You offered, before looking back at Elena. “He’s extremely domesticated.” You grinned. “The man has a favorite coffee mug.”

Elena chuckled, “That’s the sort of life both of you deserve.” 

“I appreciate that.” You smiled at her. “Honestly, I thought I’d end up married to my work. Javier and Josie changed my life and I couldn’t be happier.” 

“You’re a stronger woman than I am,” Elena said with a warm smile. “If I had been in your situation, I don’t know if I would’ve chosen the motherhood route.” 

You took a sip of coffee, nodding your head slowly. “I didn’t even consider the alternative.” You admitted quietly, “I was ready and willing to do this alone if Javier didn’t want to be involved. It would’ve broken my heart, I think, but… she was the best accident.” You bit down on your bottom lip, thinking for a minute. “My own childhood wasn’t great.” 

“Really?”

You rubbed your lips together, giving a slight nod. “I overcame it, I came out on top, but… I don’t want my girls to have to work that hard to be loved. No one should have to feel like love is conditional. Monica, Josie, Sofía deserve better than that.” You raked your fingers through your hair. “I think that’s why, with Josie… I didn’t even consider having an abortion. I wanted to prove to myself that I could be the mother I never had.” 

Elena reached across the table and squeezed your hand, “And look at the life you’ve built from that decision.” 

“We should have coffee again sometime,” You suggested. “There’s no reason to be strangers in a city that is clearly small.”

“I would like that,” She patted your hand, before reaching for her coffee cup once more. “And please send Javier my best. He was a good man and he finally has the life he deserves.” 

“He’ll appreciate that.” You finished off the last of your coffee. Your eyes flickered to your wristwatch, “Shit. I need to pick up the kids.” You said as you got up, pulling your purse across your chest. “Thank you again, Elena.” 

“I’m glad we reconnected,” Elena said as she stood up, “I’m sure we’ll see each other again.” 

You exchanged a brief hug with her, before you ducked out of the coffee shop and headed for your car. You were relieved that the meeting had gone well — though you had expected it to. You’d worked alongside Elena a handful of times back in Colombia, where it was necessary that you play a part to get intel and she’d always been gracious to you. 

Outside of the first time you met her at the motel room, there was no lingering awkwardness there. Though you had a sneaking suspicion that more of his informants had known about you than just Elena. Considering how bad Javier was at keeping your second pregnancy secret, you figured he’d had a case of loose lips when it came to you. 

This was definitely going to come up with Nancy. If not straight from you, from Javier’s sessions. You were certain, with each passing session, Nancy was finding the two of you more and more unusual. Especially given the fact that Nancy had devoted an entire session to try to work out whether you held resentment towards Javier for sleeping with informants — as if you hadn’t as well. 

It was just never something that concerned you. It didn’t affect your relationship with Javier whatsoever. Sure, Elena bore a striking resemblance to you, but Steve had made you aware of the fact that you’d gone after men that even reminded him of Javier. 

Gotta love a good proxy. 

As you settled into your car your phone started ringing. 

“Hey,” You said after you pulled it free from your purse. “I was just thinking about you.” 

“Oh yeah?” Javier countered with a short chuckle. “I was thinking about you too, baby. You done with coffee?”

“Just got in the car to head over and pick up Josie.” You told him, shouldering the phone so you could buckle your seatbelt. “What’s up?” 

“I just wanted to see how it went.” He cleared his throat and you could practically feel his nerves through the phone. “How… How’d it go?”

“We spent the entire time gossiping about you.” You teased, trying to allay his worries. “We just caught up, Javi. It was nothing deeply profound.” 

Javier grumbled, “But you did talk about me?”

You rolled your eyes, putting your keys into the ignition and starting the car off. The radio came on, blasting Los Del Rio’s hit, and you quickly turned the knob to turn it down. “Of course we talked about you, Javi. Did you think you wouldn’t be brought up?”

“I just…” Javier trailed off and for a second you thought the call had dropped. “I used to tell her a lot more than I should’ve.”

“I gathered this.” You laughed softly. “But I also recall you told another informant that I was pregnant.” 

“Yes.” 

“You were a terrible agent Javier.” You said lightly. “Loose lips sink ships.” 

“I just couldn’t tell the right person.” He remarked, sighing heavily. “At least I’ve made up for it.” 

“Have you?” You countered, chewing on your bottom lip. “Do you have any plans this weekend?”

“Working on next week’s slides. Why, baby?”

“We should go out.” You suggested. “We haven’t really had a date since Sof was born. We could give Le Mystere a try.” 

Javier hummed, “The new Mediterranean place off Washington?”

“I know you’ve been dying to try it.” You smiled, “Come on, Javi. We deserve a kid-free night.” 

“I’ll give Steve a call after we get off the phone.” Javier drawled out, “See if I can get us a reservation tomorrow.” 

“I thought you’d jump on this opportunity.” It had been a long time since the two of you had actually had a real date. It was hard to balance two careers, two kids, and still manage to get a decent night of sleep. 

“How could I say ‘no’, baby?” He chuckled. “What’s the occasion?” 

“I love you. Do I need an occasion, Javi?” 

“No, you don’t. But you’ve got me looking forward to the weekend now.” He chuckled, “Alright, lemme get off the phone and get us a reservation.” 

“Perfect. I’m gonna go get the kids.” 

“See you at home, baby.” 

“See you soon.” You smiled as you hung up the phone, tossing it into the passenger seat beside you. 

Sure, you both had been more than willing to try new things, but the old thing — just the two of you — was pretty good too. Dinner out, the house to yourselves… Hopefully this time you won’t accidentally fall asleep after dinner, because you were breaking in the newest lingerie set you’d bought. 

[damn-stark]

Crossed Stars Ch.5

A/N— I was thinking about how if you guys want to do some aesthetic boards based on reader and her boys, like a Poe x reader and a Steve x reader aesthetic boards! I would post them on the Masterlist and obviously reblog or post on my page!

Warning- swearing, violence, angst, slow burn, loong chapter! Rollercoster of emotions!!

Pairing- Poe Dameron x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader

Takes place- after Infinity war & after TROS

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

———

Poe quietly watched as Steve and you talked in the distance, a smile on your face much like Steve’s, accompanied by a soft look, one Poe knew well, a look that hurt him. He never knew why you hated him, you were once best friends and then one day out of nowhere you just couldn’t stand the sight of him. He could’ve asked, it was that easy but he was stubborn and a proud man, and well you were as stubborn as him so he never did and let it pass. A choice he always regretted.

He let out a deep sigh and turned to Natasha who was walking his way. She glanced over to what he was previously looking at, and that said everything to her, she shared a slow nod and a half smile, actions Poe didn’t understand, but soon was.

“How long have you been in love with her?”

Poe’s snickered as he shook his head in denial, soon stammering with his answer, “I’m not...in love with her.”

Natasha scoffed, she wasn’t one to be fooled, she knew how to read people and Poe was one of them, he wasn’t hard to read at all. “Don’t lie to me. I know.”

Poe turned back to look at you, his frown replacing the straight line he tried to carry. He wanted to lie again, but it was stupid to do so, he needed to tell someone.

He inhaled deeply as he kept his gaze fixated on you, “since the day I met her.”

—

You quietly admired the fighters that flew off the hanger from the halls of the place you were going to call home now (A huge step up from Tatooine that was for sure) Thinking to yourself that one day that was going to be you. You were manifesting that into the universe. Soon you were going to be one of those pilots. Soon.

“First day here?” A voice asked, causing your shoulders to jump, not expecting anyone to talk to you. You spun to face the voice, instantly seeing an amusing and at the same time an apologetic smile on the mans face. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” His eyes showed the same smile he showed on his lips; only his eyes also showed a warmness to them, something that went with the brown of his eyes.

You showed a nervous smile, not knowing how to respond to the charming man in front of you, “it’s okay. Really.” You quickly shared before answering his previous question, “and yes it’s my first day here, is it yours?”

The man kept his gaze locked on yours, seeming as if he was reading into you, just really studying every inch of your face, something that you couldn’t help but feel shy about. He took a moment to answer, but did it nonetheless, this time talking with a bit more of a hidden cockiness in his tone. “Yeah same here.”

“Is it that obvious? Do I really look that lost?” You said, unsure and unaware with the boost of confidence and comfort you felt with this man.

He chuckled, a gesture that made you smile before he answered, “no not lost. Just...how can I explain this, uhh, wide eyed, you look amazed, just really taken by this place.”

“Well I am from Tatooine, there is nothing to see there but sand...and more sand. This place is a complete change of scenery.” You explained.

He nodded in comprehension before asking something else, “what made you join the republic defense fleet out of all things?”

You shook your head while briefly glancing back to the busy hanger in the distance, “you’re going to think it’s a cliche so I won’t respond that.”

“I won’t judge, so please answer.”

“Anakin Skywalker. He inspired me.” You begin with a grin, “I just mean, being from Tatooine I grew up with stories about him and Luke Skywalker, both born and raised there. The more I heard and heard the same stories, the more I realized that we both shared similar childhoods, albeit not compeletly the same but there’s similarities. And after realizing that, they both really became my hero’s, both great pilots that came from nothing, they became famous war hero’s from Tatooine. They got out of there and I wanted to do the same, of being the same.”

You look back to the curly headed man and immediately apologize for rambling on and boring him, “I’m sorry I rambled. I didn’t mean to bore you.”

He remained quiet for a couple seconds, a soft look on his features and a small smile on his lips, he had to blink a couple times to break from his stupor and quickly come up with an answer, “no, no I’m not bored. It was a great. Better than my own reason.” You quirked your eyebrow and before you could ask for his reason he introduced himself with a charming grin, “I’m Poe. Poe Dameron.”

“Y/N. Y/N L/N.” You smiled.

—

“We’re here. This is Tatooine.” You beamed as you practically hopped off your seat to rush to the opening ramp. Not missing Rockets remark to the dry planet.

“This? It’s just a piece of hot rock and sand!”

You roll your eyes and ignore his remark, exiting the the hanger quietly while Steve fell to your side. You looked to him with a smile, grabbing his hand to take him to finally see the ever so anticipated binary suns. “Its not a sunset, but we’ll see that soon. For now though this is Tatooine.” Steve had the same amazed reaction he showed when he saw the flying colors of hyperspace, wide-eyed and amazed by the beauty of space. A world he never knew existed.

“You better hurry before we miss your friend,” Dameron interrupted as he walked past Steve and you.

You scoffed and let go of Steve’s hand, walking ahead to lead the way to the only place where you knew he might be, the tavern. A place where their were all types of people, a lot of them looking for a job to take or a bounty to hunt. Their was the occasional traveler, tourist that just came and went with no trouble. Jaro was, well he was in between.

When you entered the well known tavern like in many of the other places it was quiet, albeit this place had more people than the last. You looked around, but didn’t spot the familiar red headed man you knew, you didn’t give up though, you walked to the bar and ordered drinks before asking the bartender what it was you were looking for. Ignoring the looks and comments sentients shot all of you, especially to Nebula who stood silently at the end of the group, shooting glares to the men that tried to approach her.

“Has Jaro Kestis been around recently?”

The bartender looked at you up and down, leaning on the counter while extending his hand, gesturing what he needed to talk. You scoffed but took out credits nonetheless, handing it to him to finally make him talk.

“The kid has been around, today in fact, he should be back if he knows what’s good for him.” And with that, the sentient turned to attend someone else.

“Let’s wait.” You don’t wait for an answer and instead take a seat in a nearby booth, not being able to stop your leg from anxiously bouncing up and down. Only distracting yourself with the drinks that came to your table. You grabbed the blue moof milk and pushed it towards Steve, “try it.”

He looked at the drink and questioned it, “is it supposed to be blue?”

“Yes.” You interject.

He lifts the drink and takes a small sip, his nose instantly scrunching at the taste on his tongue. When he puts the drink down he feigns a smile and fakes a response, “it’s...good.”

You chuckle softly and take the drink from him. “It’s okay, it’s not for everyone.” You push it towards Natasha and just before you could tell her to taste it, theirs loud commotion from one of the booths behind you, before anyone could ask, Rocket is running to your booth, a new bag hanging around his shoulder and carrying a metal hand...that wasn’t his.

“Rocket?! What did you do?!” Nebula exclaimed.

“We better go.” He urged.

You began to protest his comment, knowing that whatever he was doing was ruining your plans, “we have to wait for Jaro. We can’t leave.”

Before anyone could respond, the same sentients Rocket was arguing with stomped towards you with blasters in hand, “this triangle face monkey stole from us—”

“It was a fair game! I won it fair and square.” Rocket shot back, refusing to let go of the metal arm.

“Rocket.” Nebula hissed.

“We want no trouble. Our friend will return your...arm and we’ll get going.” Steve tried to defend, but the sentients didn’t want to listen, forcing you all to pull out your weapons too.

One of them glared at you, aiming his weapon on your forehead, “we can take all three women. And consider it forgotten.” He smirked.

You show a smug smile and slowly lower your blaster to his crotch, shooting him burning glare, and just before Dameron or Steve could do anything, or before the ugly sentient could say anything else, someone new spoke up.

“Wow, wow hey. No need for violence, let’s break it up.” You look over to the voice noticing who it was. Jaro. He walks up to you and takes the blaster from your hand, pushing the sentient threatening you back. “It’s okay these are,” he looks to the group you’re with and notices the new faces traveling with you, “my...friends.”

The sentients say something to him in their native tongue, something he responds to before they hesitantly leave the area you were in. Jaro turns back to you, his eyes searching for someone missing in the crowd, “where’s your brunette friend?”

You frown knowing exactly who he was referring to, “Rey is gone. We’re actually here to talk about that, you’re the only person I know with the connection to the force, we need you.”

“Hmm,” his little droid climbs to his shoulder as he runs his fingers through his red hair, “why me?”

As quick as you could, you explain why you needed him, that and the only reason being that he could contact force ghosts, the only people you knew would have answers. You knew little of how he could do something like that, Rey had explained a lot about it...but it was all confusing that you only grasped a small part of it.

“Of course, why didn’t I think of that sooner.” He exclaims with a grin, “not here though, let’s go to my ship.”

—

You bite your bottom lip before as you pace back and forth impatiently, waiting for the anticipated answer that Jaro was going to provide on how to bring everyone back. The silence and the tension that was built inside was eating you up inside, no one spoke, they all nervously waited, some showing more hidden emotions than others.

The feeling of not knowing if he had found something was just tearing you apart, you just couldn’t take it. You were going to go crazy.

So instead you quickly exit the ship, inhaling and exhaling deeply as if being inside had been cutting off your oxygen. Being in there in fact had kept you distracted from what you wanted to see. The sunset. Now that you saw it though, the excitement from before was gone.

“It is beautiful, you were right,” you suddenly heard Steve muse, his eyes glued to the soft pink, orange and purple colors painted in the sky.

You sigh, briefly looking at the sunset before looking at Steve, noticing the soft colors basking his face in a gentle way, the colors reflecting in his eyes in a beautiful way.

“I would work all day under the burning suns, it was tiring especially when I was younger. The older I got the more I got used to the work I was forced to do,” You explained, his eyes turning to focus on you, “and everyday it was the same, no matter how old I got. The only thing the got me through the days were thinking of seeing this view. Everyday I would look forward to seeing this because it meant that I was done with the day and I got to enjoy the few hours of freedom.”

Telling your story that few people knew, was a way to distract yourself from the answer that was soon going to be known, it distracted you from the anxiety you felt inside.

“Your parents were hard on you.”

You shake your head in disagreement, “I never got to meet my parents. They died when I was very young.”

“I’m sorry.” Steve mumbled.

“It’s okay,” You assure him, “I tell myself that if I didn’t go through what I went through I wouldn’t be who I am, or be where I am today. A slave turned General.”

Steve frowned slightly at what you said, not really knowing how to respond at first. Not until he finally had the right words to say. “Many people with your background would have gone down a different path, making excuses that it was because what they went through, but not you.” He showed a reassuring smile, walking closer towards you, “I know I barely know you, but I see that you’re strong and don’t take anything from anyone. You’re determined and independent, I admire that.”

You smile sweetly at his comment, feeling your cheeks heat up—But that could totally be because of the heat from the lowering suns, or how close he suddenly was; “thank you.” You say in an unwanted whisper.

He looks down at you and you both stay quiet, nothing else spoken and hearing each other’s light breathing, something that slowly picked up. His eyes only left yours to travel further down to your lips, a movement you soon copied, neither of you making the first move to close that small gap left between you two. You were kind of waiting for him to do it, but he wasn’t doing anything, so instead you captured his lips in a sweet kiss.

The action caught him by surprise, but he soon got over it to kiss you back. You followed by bringing your hand up to cup his cheek, deepening the kiss slightly before you both pulled away. The both of you smiled after and before either of you could express anything about what had just happened—which you didn’t even know exactly, it was different, it felt different compared to other moments you’ve shared with...different people. It was sweet though, that you couldn’t deny, he was sweet.

Dameron appeared on the ramp, “Jaro is back.” He announced dryly, not waiting for an answer to disappear back into the ship.

Steve and you didn’t hesitate to head back inside, your nerves presenting themselves again, and only worsening when you came face to face with Jaro.

The ginger looked to the floor with a frown, making your heart race and tears pool your eyes.

“I talked with the past Jedi Master’s and...” he looked back to all of you, noticing the anticipation and hope in all of your faces, his frown deepening at the sight.

“What did they say.” Natasha interjected what you all were thinking.

Jaro hesitated, swallowing thickly before he answered, “theirs nothing we can do,” he paused briefly, “but accept fate.”

You had failed. You had fucking failed.

A single tear slipped down your cheek, but you didn’t let anymore roll down, and instead tried to hold in every emotion, even if all you could hear repeating in your head were the words Jaro said. They didn’t let you hear anything else said around you, everything just tuned out and time passed slowly and you moved without knowing that you were. Nothing registered in your head but the thought of you failing.

It wasn’t until you were outside once again that you returned back to the failed reality you lived in, hearing the commotion coming from your group.

“What the hell did you do Rocket?” Nebula stressed.

Rocket shrugged innocently, but as he did, Artoo pulled out multiple items from his bag. All high value items, weapons and gadgets used by scoundrels, and lastly a small locked box.

“Thank you a lot tin-can.” Rocket seethed.

“Just give it back.” You urged.

“It doesn’t look like they want to avoid trouble. We better hurry back to the ship.” Natasha exclaimed.

Just like she said, you all hastily made your way back to the Falcon, now avoiding incoming blasts.

“Shit.” You cursed whilst pulling out your blaster and shooting back; “we’re not getting anywhere on foot we need—”

“Speeders!” Dameron pointed, leading the way and stealing the speeders to attempt your escape.

Steve, Rocket, Artoo and you got on one, while Dameron, Natasha, Nebula and BB8 got on a separate one. The owners protested against your actions, but you ignored them, Steve though...well he apologized.

“You!” You directed to Rocket, “drive the speeder, I’m going to get rid of these shits.” Rocket didn’t hesitate to take the wheel before you rushed towards the end of the speeder, pulling out your blaster and throwing one to Steve, “I don’t think your shields or your fists are going to work for this one,” you joked before pulling out a hidden one for yourself.

Blasts kept firing at you and at the group a couple feet behind you, blasts that you avoided and returned with equal fury. A smile made it on your lips as you successfully shot one of the thugs shooting at you, but you’re celebration was cut off as another set of thugs appeared from out of nowhere and joined the fight, slamming into your speeder and shooting your blaster out of your hand.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Your eyes frantically searched the speeder for anything you could use as a weapon, but their was nothing on here but crates.

“Take this one.” Steve suggested, trying to hand you back your blaster, but you declined it.

“No you need it, I’ll find—” Artoo ended your search when he handed you gadgets from Rockets stolen bag. You smiled at your little companion, shouting a compliment for his fast thinking, “what would I do without you?” Quickly you activated the gadgets and threw it under one of thugs shooting at you.

At first you weren’t sure it was going to do anything but soon the thug disintegrated in front of your eyes. “Uh. Okay. That happened.” The thugs at your side shot at you again, this time with more anger. Artoo handed you another one and again you threw it to the thugs speeder. One of them tried to climb on your speeder, but before he could, you kicked him back with your boot, and seconds later instead of disintegrating like his companion the speeder blew up in tiny pieces.

A proud smile made it on your slips and while you spun back to face the remaining thugs, a blast hit your shoulder at the same time, the impact causing you to fall off the speeder. You groaned in pain as you rolled on the ground, feeling the sand burn your exposed skin until you finally came to a stop. You lifted the upper half of your body to search for any weapon or just anything you could use, but only disappointed yourself when you saw nothing but...sand.

At the sound of the thugs approaching you at a quick speed, you strained to get to your feet, standing your ground even without weapons in your hands. Wiping blood off your bottom lip with your hand, and shooting them a burning glare that showed them you weren’t scared. A stupid idea really, but you’ve faced worse and they didn’t make the list of people that scared you.

Before they could attempt to hit you, you were tackled to the ground. Once again burning your skin and hitting your wound as you rolled on the sand, coming to a stop with a groan and noticing that Dameron was the one that had pushed you out of the way, hovering above you, one hand on the ground at the side of your head looking down at you with a narrowed gaze.

“I’ve seen you do stupid things throughout the years I’ve known you, and this is one of them.”

“I can say the same thing for you.” You groaned, registering the sharp burning pain on your wound now.

Dameron stayed quiet for a moment, his eyes examining your body for other wounds beside the obvious one on your shoulder. “You know,” he began smugly, not being able to finish what he was going to say as you fully realized—more like finally decided to acknowledge that he was still on top of you.

“Get. Off. Me.” You hissed, shooting him a glare.

He did, but not without adding a stupid remark. “Oh, you’re very welcome for saving you sweetheart.” He tried to offer his hand to help you up but you ignored it and pushed yourself off your feet instead. You looked back up to see that all the thugs were all gone now, only seeing as Steve and the rest of the group came back for Dameron and you.

From the corner of your eye you looked to Dameron and whispered your response, “thank you.”

He smiled, but that smile soon disappeared as Steve came to your side, expressing the worry Poe also felt, but didn’t express because Steve interrupted him.

“Are you okay?”

You managed a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes before you assured Steve, “I’ve been through worse, I’ll be okay. Let’s head back to the Falcon.”

—

After returning to the Falcon you kept to yourself, assuring everyone that you were really fine, because you were...for the most part. It was all just hard, dealing with what you heard was hard, you didn’t even want to think about it because when you did all you wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. You couldn’t just simply accept the fact that you had lost, so for a moment while you patched your wounds you solely focused on that and nothing else.

“Stupid shit.” You curse under your breath while trying to put bacta on your blaster wound, which was incredibly hard doing so alone. “Shit,” You groan, before dropping the bacta on the ground when you heard the loud knock on the door. “I’m okay Steve. Really!” You shout over your shoulder as you drop to the ground to pick the bacta.

The door slides open and just as you were going to assure Steve you noticed that it was someone else completely, “Dameron.”

His eyes fall to your wound and then dropped to see what you were doing, following your every movement until you stood back up and kept trying to patch yourself up. Again.

“You need help?” He asked, walking up to you regardless of your answer.

“No.” You strained and lied, “You can leave.”

Dameron rolled his eyes at your stubborn response and turned to walk away, without a response or another attempt to help. Because after all you had your....“boyfriend” Steve to help you instead. You didn’t need him when you had Steve—well Poe didn’t know if you and Steve were dating, he had seen the kiss but he never asked, only guessed.

However the case was though, it didn’t matter, you preferred Steve, you liked Steve. As much as that thought hurt Poe, he needed to accept that you and him...well it was never going to happen. He just needed to let you go.

But he couldn’t. He just fucking couldn’t. So he swallowed his pride and marched back into that room, snatching the bacta from your hand even against your protests and annoyed scoff.

Neither of you said anything for a moment, sitting in silence and letting Dameron patch you up. You didn’t groan, whine or squirm around every time he touched your wound. After all you were used to the pain, years of fighting a war how could you not?

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dameron asked as he walked around you to grab the gauze from the counter.

You knew exactly what he was referring to and the answer was a blunt, “no.”

He sighed, debating if he should discuss what the both of you had heard, knowing that it was a conversation you both needed and something he wanted to let you talk about, but he also knew that you wouldn’t say anything on the regard if you weren’t ready. So instead he choose to leave that as it was and continued to wrap your wound.

When he moved to stand in front of you, you tried to ignore how close he actually was. Tried your best to avoid looking up at him, tried to ignore the feeling of his warm breaths that came out of his nose hit your own. Unknowingly swearing that if you really focused you would hear his heart beat in his chest, you tried to avoid focusing on the exposed tan skin that his slightly unbuttoned shirt showed, the way his sliver chain seemed to shine around his neck.

But nonetheless as much as you did try, your eyes ended up on his face, noticing that the clean face he once had was now covered in dark stubble. “You’re growing your beard?”

Dameron smirked, his eyes meeting your own, “You like it?”

You swallowed thickly and avoided eye contact, “I—I”

He chuckled lightly, pulling up your tanks strap, his hand lingering on your exposed shoulder for a moment before he shoved his hands in his pockets, staying still in front of you even after he was finished, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Take it however you like,” you remarked, “just know it makes you seem old.”

“We are old sweetheart.”

“You maybe,” you teased, “not me.”

He let out an amused huff of air, your gaze once again locking with his for brief moment before you pulled yours away; in that moment Poe wanted to talk about Steve and you, to just really clear the air, but as he parted his lips to do so, he couldn’t. Instead he decided that it was best to accept fate. Or whatever the fuck Jaro said. Even if Poe didn’t want to.

“Do you need help?” You asked in almost a whisper, “I just mean you must’ve gotten your skin burnt when we fell.”

“No,” he assured you with a smile, “it was just a couple scratches, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Sure, you weren’t.”

Finally after a long moment of neither of you moving from where you were, you came to your full senses and pushed him out of the way to walk out of the room, and before you could walk out he spoke up.

“What happened?”

You stopped by the door and looked over your shoulder, quirking your eyebrow at his question, a gesture that made him continue.

“With us? I just mean we were once best friends...maybe something more, and you just out of nowhere started hating me. Why?”

Way to ruin the mood.

You sighed and fully turned around to face him. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

He scoffed and shook his head, slowly making his way to you. “You always say that. Why don’t you just give me a clear answer? What did I do?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You try to walk away but he’s quick and grabs your arm, turning you to face him to see that he was serious.

“Just tell me. I...just tell me.”

Your eyes began to water and you did want to explain why. Why it was that you began to hate him, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to explain, not when you still hadn’t talked about the other thing. Not when you knew that you would break down in front of him.

“Leave me alone.” You pulled your arm out of his grasp and sped away, letting him just watch your quick retreating figure. He would’ve followed, he really would’ve, but he didn’t feel like arguing with you.

Even if he really should have pressed further. He should have talked to you.

—

“A symbol to the nation. A hero to the world. The story of Captain America is one of honor, bravery and sacrifice.”

You quietly walked down the path of the museum, watching in admiration every story, photo, and paintings that decorated the walls of the museum. Some place you had wondered to in your attempt to clear your mind. You just walked and walked, getting onto a train and then walking some more. Avoiding the loud protest in the streets, all of them about the hero’s you were staying with.

All you needed and wanted to do was just clear your mind on what had recently happened, your kiss with Steve, the talk that Dameron wanted to have and the knowledge that you had failed. It all just flooded your mind. You just needed to be alone for a moment. Even if you knew that everything was just waiting to overflow. It was all just going to break eventually. Sooner or later you were going to have to face the problems.

In moments like these though is when you missed General Organa and Rey, they always helped you, always seemed to have an answer for everything. Especially General Organa.

“Denied enlistment due to poor health, Steven Rogers was chosen for a program unique in the annals of American Warfare. One that would transform him into the worlds first super solider.”

You stood grounded for a minute, watching the transformation that Steve went through. Coming to realization that apparently in earth years he was one hundred years old, but he didn’t age because of ice and a serum?

Weird...and yet something that didn’t bug you or make you see him any different. He was just a man. No serum changed that.

He was a great man, he was a gentlemen and nicer than other men you knew and others that you’ve dated.

Perhaps. Maybe something more can happen between the both of you. The kiss proved that and well you wouldn’t be against it....would you?

Their was also that other person that you couldn’t stop thinking about. And he. Well he...was different.

Fucking stars. Why couldn’t this all be easy?

You ran your hand through your hair and let out a exhausted sigh, making your way out of the museum and slowly starting your path back to the compound, knowing that they should be wondering where you were. You had left without saying anything, mostly because you didn’t want to talk.

While trying to make your way back though you noticed someone was following you. Their face was hidden behind a creepy green mask and they had a black hood on. Something that matched the protesters from before.

Ignoring the strange figure you proceeded to walk faster, heading back to the train station from before. In the moment the station came to view, two more had randomly appeared, one sporting a red mask and the other one with a mask of a man with golden hair.

You reached for your blaster, but came out empty handed, realizing that you had left back it in your room. “Fuck.” Quickening your pace you slightly look over your shoulder seeing them still on your heels. When you looked forward again their was someone now in front of you with a mask of...Captain America. Without stopping to talk, you tried to walk past the stranger, but you were suddenly grabbed by the men behind you.

You kicked your feet and struggled, tried to scream out, but suddenly one of them behind you slapped their hand on your mouth, slapping a wet cloth on your nose. It carried a weird smell, and the more you tried to fight their hold, the weaker you began to feel, the once clear view was blurred and everything began to spin. Your fight became nothing and your eyes were slowly dropping until...

....Nothing.

.

.

.

A/N- Team Rogers? Or Team Dameron?

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