#so yea my unfiltered thoughts

[soulfarer23]

The truth about the Void-State is starting to sink in

so yea, I've been 'over'consuming loa/shifting/void-state Tumblr a bit, but I feel like, after reading very similar things in many different ways, It's starting to actually sink in.

By that I mean, I don't just know it, I genuinely understand it and its implications. ( I think lol )

I used to see the Void-State just as the 'instant manifestation' state, but It's so much more. It's me. Literally. I am LITERALLY the 'Void-State'. It's me in my purest, unfiltered form. It's my pure consciousness. And it exists unattached to any vessel or reality. It just is.

Now the affirmation 'I am' makes sense to me. I don't know if it's because I am not a native speaker, but I never fully got it. It always felt like there was something missing, like, I am what?

But that's literally it, I am. I exist. And that's what I am.

Not a body, not a human, not a person, not any DNA information. Not even someone from reality XYZ. I just am.

I am naturally omni-everything and eternal. My power is as infinite as infinite gets. The only thing to ever appear to diminish that power is the reality I choose to be aware of and the vessel I choose to experience that reality with. And that's always my choice, and my choice alone.

One question I often ask myself when I see posts like these from people who seem to 'know it all' is. Why. are. you. still. here.

And well, I am still here too. Have I woken up in the Void-State after 21 days of affirming? no, at least not in the 3d, but I won't go on one of these 'only the 4d matters' rants.

Well, why am I so convinced in the Void-State then? Well I was there once, years ago before I had a damn clue about anything. I just dreamed and suddenly my mind was sharply aware and awake, but there was nothing. No sound, no sensations and pure darkness. I wondered if I was dead, genuinely, yet I couldn't panic, I was content. I just existed. (thinking back, having these thoughts while being pure consciousness seems kinda dangerous)

So years later, I still clearly remembered this event vividly until I had a big 'OH' moment when I found out about the 'Void-State', and I finally understand what I felt back then. It was pure freedom and peace of mind.

Let it sink in. Mine and your most natural state is that of pure omnipotence, freedom and peace. Infinitely. Eternally. Literally.

All that keeps us away from that state is our assumption, some people (younger me for example) even still getting in without having a clue it exists. We can even guarantee it by assuming it, which ties back into loa. We are always in control, we really just have to realize and accept it. It's there, it's always been there, you just couldn't see it. Now you can. Take it and don't let anything in this reality stop you. NOW.

[rafedarling]

𝐯𝐡𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐞

pairing: rafe cameron x kook!reader

summary: you’re a strong, confident, and nobody’s fool—certainly not even rafe cameron’s. when you stumble upon a tape hidden in his room, containing something far more personal than he ever shared with you, it’s not about sofia or the past. it’s about the trust rafe shattered by not telling you. his refusal to be upfront about it breaks something between you, and when you confront him, it becomes clear he’ll do anything to keep you—even when you decide to walk away. but you aren’t going to crumble or let him control you. you move on and live your life, but rafe doesn’t know how to let go. in the end, the choice between holding onto your pride or the fire between you burns brighter than you imagined.

warning(s): toxic relationship dynamics, dark themes (possession, emotional manipulation), strong language, sexual content (18+), emotional intensity. MINOR DNI!

au: another angst again? really? i know but i’m a angsty bitch so yea. like, reblog, comment & feedback are much appreciated. discussion can be send through my ask box, please feel free to send in anything. taglist | tagging: @rubixgsworld @rafeyslamb @bisexualcvnt @tracymbcm @maybankslover @mileyraes @akobx @noobmazter69 @xoxohoneymoongirl @xoxosblogsblog @wearemadeofstardust0 @saviorcomplexrry @littlelamy @enjoymyloves

You sat at the kitchen island in the Cameron household, staring at the coffee in front of you while Rose, Rafe’s stepmom, hummed softly to herself, clearly pleased with her latest floral arrangement. The normalcy of the moment clashed sharply with the unease gnawing at you, but you kept your emotions in check.

“Rafe’s been a bit on edge lately, hasn’t he?” Rose asked, glancing at you from over the top of her cup.

You kept your tone even, despite the knot of unease tightening in your chest. “He’s always like that.”

She gave you a knowing look, the kind that said she’d been through more than she let on. “Sometimes, with people like Rafe, you have to draw a line. Push back when they push too hard.”

You nodded, your fingers curling around the cup in front of you, but you didn’t respond. What could you say? That you knew Rafe’s darker edges better than anyone? That you understood how his secrets ran deeper than he let on, but you thought you’d seen enough of them to know where his limits were?

You excused yourself, leaving Rose in the kitchen as you headed upstairs to his room. It was familiar, the place you’d spent so much time together, but today it felt different. There was something off in the air. Rafe had been distant lately, but you hadn’t pressed him, giving him space to brood, to work out whatever was on his mind.

But today, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

You found yourself in front of his dresser, drawn to it without even thinking. One of the drawers was partially open, and inside, you saw a stack of VHS tapes. Most of them were innocuous—old football games, random recordings of parties, but one caught your eye.

“Rafe & Sofia.” the label read, scrawled in Rafe’s unmistakable handwriting.

Your chest tightened at the sight of his ex’s name, but it wasn’t jealousy that gripped you. It was curiosity. What was he hiding? And why hadn’t he told you about it?

Your fingers moved almost of their own accord, slipping the tape into the player. The screen flickered to life, showing a younger Rafe and Sofia, laughing and carefree on the beach. You could feel the tension knotting in your stomach, but you told yourself it was just a piece of his past. Until the video shifted—suddenly, jarringly intimate.

The camera cut to a bedroom, his bedroom. The footage was raw, unfiltered, and it wasn’t just a casual memory anymore. It was a sextape.

You felt a sickening twist in your gut, your breath catching in your throat. Your heart pounded, not from the act itself, but from the betrayal—the fact that Rafe had kept this, hidden this, and never thought to tell you.

The front door slammed downstairs, and you barely had time to process what you’d seen before Rafe’s footsteps echoed up the stairs.

He walked in, stopping cold when he saw the VHS player running and the tape on the screen. His jaw clenched, and the air between you crackled with tension. “What the hell are you doing?”

You stood up, holding the remote tightly in your hand, your voice sharp but controlled. “I found your tape. Rafe and Sofia’s tape. Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

His face darkened, and he took a step toward you, his posture rigid. “Because it’s not something you needed to know about.”

“Not something I needed to know about?” You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. “Rafe, you kept this. You hid this. It’s not about Sofia. It’s about you lying to me.”

He ran a hand through his hair, pacing as frustration bled into his tone. “I didn’t lie. It’s old, Y/N. It’s from another time. It means nothing.”

“Then why keep it?” you fired back, your voice rising. “If it means nothing, why hide it? You didn’t trust me enough to tell me.”

Rafe’s eyes were hard, his jaw clenched as he spoke. “Because I knew you’d make it into something it’s not. I didn’t want this—didn’t want to deal with this.”

Your anger flared, hot and consuming, but you didn’t let it overpower you. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out? Did you think I wouldn’t care? Do you still watch it, Rafe? Do you still watch her?”

His face twisted, a mix of frustration and something darker. He didn’t answer, and that silence cut deeper than any confession could have.

“Did you...” you took a steadying breath, your voice colder now. “Did you jerk your fucking self off to it?”

For a moment, he didn’t respond. His eyes locked on yours, and the weight of the question hung heavy between you. Then, he took a step closer, his voice low and dangerous. “No. But it doesn’t matter what you believe. You’re already making up your mind.”

You stared at him, the gravity of his words settling in your chest like a stone. “You didn’t think to tell me. That’s the problem, Rafe. It’s not about jealousy. It’s about trust, and you broke that.”

Rafe’s jaw tightened, and his eyes flashed with a mix of anger and desperation. “I didn’t want to lose you. I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you’d walk away.”

You met his gaze, your voice firm. “You know what Rafe, maybe you should’ve thought about that before keeping secrets.”

His hands curled into fists at his sides, and he looked away, breathing heavily. For a long moment, the room was thick with tension, the silence between you louder than words. Then, finally, you spoke again, your voice steady but final. “We’re done, Rafe.”

He froze, his eyes snapping back to yours, dark and intense. “You’re not serious.”

“I am.” Your tone was resolute. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me enough to tell the truth.”

Rafe’s expression hardened, a dangerous edge creeping into his voice. “I’m not going to beg, Y/N. If you want to leave, then leave. But I’m not going to keep you.”

You felt the weight of his words, sharp and cutting, but you didn’t falter. “I’m not asking you to.”

Without another word, you turned and walked out of his room, your chest tight with the finality of it all. You passed Sarah in the hallway, her eyes wide with concern as you stormed past her, but you didn’t stop. You didn’t look back.

In the days that followed, you tried to push the pain away. You were strong, and you wouldn’t let Rafe Cameron be the reason you fell apart. You threw yourself into your own life, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing you broken. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the feeling of his eyes on you, the lingering weight of his presence even when he wasn’t around.

He didn’t call, didn’t text, but he was always there. Watching. Waiting.

One night, determined to prove to yourself—and to him—that you were moving on, you went out with a guy you’d been talking to. Ryan was charming, confident, and exactly the distraction you needed. He pulled you close on the dance floor, his hands resting on your hips, his breath warm against your ear as the music pulsed around you.

You knew Rafe was there before you saw him. You could feel his presence, the intensity of his gaze burning into you from across the room. When you finally met his eyes, you saw the fury there, the barely-contained rage simmering beneath the surface.

Ryan leaned down, whispering into your ear. “He’s watching us. Want to make him mad?”

You smirked, leaning into the challenge. “Let him.”

But Rafe wasn’t going to stand by and let it happen. He pushed through the crowd, his jaw clenched, his eyes locked on you with a dangerous intensity. When he reached you, he grabbed your arm, pulling you away from Ryan without a word.

“Let go of me,” you snapped, trying to pull free from his grip.

He didn’t listen. His voice was low and deadly as he growled, “You’re coming with me. Now.”

You jerked your arm out of his grasp, eyes blazing with defiance. “I told you we’re done, Rafe. You don’t get to control me anymore.”

His jaw clenched, the anger swirling in his eyes making him look almost dangerous. But beneath the fury, you could see something else—desperation. He wasn’t just angry; he was terrified of losing you. “I’m not letting you walk away from this,” he bit out, stepping closer, his towering presence casting a shadow over you.

You stood your ground, refusing to be intimidated. “You already did, Rafe. You chose to keep things from me. That’s on you.”

Rafe’s eyes darkened, his breath heavy as he stepped closer until there was barely any space left between you. “You’re really going to throw us away because of one mistakes?”

Your heart twisted painfully, but you didn’t let him see it. “It wasn’t just one mistake. It was a choice. You chose to keep that part of your life hidden from me. If you can’t be honest with me about something like that, then what else are you hiding?”

Rafe stared at you, his chest rising and falling with labored breaths as the tension between you crackled in the air. He ran a hand through his hair, his voice raw as he said, “I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d react like this. I knew it would hurt you, and I didn’t want that.”

You crossed your arms, your voice cold. “You hurt me more by keeping it from me. Don’t you get that?”

His eyes flickered with frustration, and he took another step toward you, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. “I fucked up, okay? I know that. But I don’t want to lose you.”

You clenched your fists, feeling your resolve wavering under the weight of his words. “Rafe, I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep pretending that everything’s fine when it’s not.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The sounds of the club seemed to fade away, leaving only the tense silence between you. Then, in a low, almost broken voice, Rafe whispered, “Do you really want to walk away from this? From us?”

You swallowed hard, your emotions a tangled mess. You wanted to stay strong, to walk away and never look back, but the connection between you was undeniable. You still cared about him, despite everything. But could you trust him again?

Rafe’s hand reached out, his fingers brushing against your cheek, and you felt a shiver run down your spine at the touch. “I’ll do anything to fix this, Y/N. Anything. Just tell me what you want.”

Your eyes met his, and for the first time, you saw the vulnerability in his gaze. He wasn’t just angry or desperate—he was scared. Scared of losing you. Scared of being alone.

“I want honesty,” you said quietly. “I want to know that I can trust you.”

Rafe nodded, his thumb brushing lightly over your skin. “You can. I’ll prove it to you. I swear.”

For a long moment, you just stood there, the weight of his promise hanging between you. Then, finally, you let out a shaky breath and pulled back, stepping away from his touch. “I need time, Rafe.”

His face softened, and he nodded slowly, though you could see the tension still coiled in his body. “I understand. I’ll give you time. But I’m not giving up on everything we had.”

You swallowed hard, not trusting yourself to say anything else. Without another word, you turned and walked out of the club, feeling his eyes on you the entire time.

Days passed, and despite everything, Rafe kept his word. He didn’t press you, didn’t bombard you with calls or texts. But you knew he was still there, watching, waiting for you to come to him.

The quiet between you felt strange, almost like a storm waiting to break. You found yourself thinking about him more than you wanted to, your mind drifting back to his words, his touch, the raw emotion in his eyes. You missed him, but you weren’t ready to admit that just yet.

Then, one night, as you sat alone in your room, your phone buzzed with a text from him.

Rafe: Can we talk? Please.

You stared at the message for a long moment, your heart pounding. Part of you wanted to ignore it, to stay strong and keep your distance. But another part of you—the part that still cared—wanted to see him, to hear him out.

Against your better judgment, you found yourself replying.

You: Come over.

Rafe showed up at your door within minutes, looking more disheveled than you’d ever seen him. His usual cocky confidence was gone, replaced by something raw and unguarded. He stood in front of you, his shoulders tense, his eyes searching yours.

“I didn’t think you’d let me come,” he admitted, his voice quiet.

You crossed your arms, keeping your face neutral. “You said you wanted to talk.”

Rafe nodded, running a hand through his hair, his eyes never leaving yours. “I messed up, Y/N. I know that. I should’ve told you about the tape. I should’ve trusted you.”

You watched him carefully, your heart beating a little faster at the sincerity in his voice. “Why didn’t you?”

He hesitated, his jaw clenching before he finally answered. “Because I was scared. Scared you’d think I wasn’t over her. Scared you’d leave.”

You frowned, your anger flaring up again. “I’m not Sofia, Rafe. You should’ve known I’m not like that.”

He shook his head, his expression pained. “I know you’re not. That’s why I didn’t want to lose you. But by not telling you, I did the exact thing I was so afraid of.”

You took a deep breath, your emotions swirling inside you. “I can’t promise things will go back to the way they were but you’ll have to earn my trust back.”

Rafe stepped closer, his eyes filled with determination. “I’ll earn your trust back. I don’t care how long it takes.”

You felt your resolve crumbling under the weight of his words, but you forced yourself to stay strong. “I can’t do this alone, Rafe. You need to be better. For both of us.”

He nodded, his voice low but firm. “I will. I swear.”

For a long moment, the silence between you stretched on, thick with tension. Then, without thinking, you reached up and touched his cheek, your thumb brushing lightly over his skin.

Rafe exhaled sharply, his eyes closing as he leaned into your touch. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly.

And in that moment, something inside you softened. Maybe it wasn’t forgiveness yet, but it was a step in the right direction.

Without saying another word, you leaned up and kissed him. The kiss was slow, tentative at first, but it quickly deepened, the fire between you rekindling in an instant. Rafe’s hands gripped your waist, pulling you closer as he kissed you back with a hunger that sent shivers down your spine.

You didn’t pull away this time. You let yourself get lost in him, in the way his body pressed against yours, in the way his hands moved over you like he was afraid to let go. It was desperate and raw, but it was also real.

Rafe’s hands slipped under your shirt, his touch warm against your skin as his fingers trailed up your sides, igniting a spark that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long. You gasped softly into his mouth, your hands gripping the front of his shirt as he pressed his body against yours, backing you up against the wall.

“Y/N…” he breathed against your lips, his voice low and rough, filled with desire.

You met his gaze, your heart pounding in your chest as you whispered back, “I’m still mad at you.”

Rafe’s eyes darkened, his lips ghosting over your neck as he whispered, “I know.”

But in that moment, the anger between you faded, replaced by something else—something neither of you could deny any longer. His lips found yours again, harder this time, more demanding, as he lifted you effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist. You felt the heat between you growing, the connection too strong to ignore.

Rafe carried you to the bed, his movements slow and deliberate as he laid you down, hovering over you with that same intense look in his eyes. “Let me show you how sorry I am,” he whispered, his voice thick with need.

Your breath caught in your throat as his lips trailed down your neck, his hands sliding lower, gripping your thighs as he tugged at your clothes. You arched into his touch, your body responding to every move, every kiss, as he worshiped you with an intensity that left you breathless.

It wasn’t just about the physical connection. It was about the emotions between you—the trust that had been broken, the anger that still lingered, but also the undeniable love and passion that couldn’t be ignored.

As Rafe’s body moved against yours, as his hands roamed over every inch of your skin, you felt the walls between you begin to crumble. The anger, the hurt—it was all still there, but so was the need. The desire. The love.

You gasped as he pressed deeper into you, his forehead resting against yours as he whispered your name, his voice raw and filled with emotion. “I’ll make it right, Y/N. I swear.”

You didn’t have the words to respond. Instead, you kissed him, pouring everything into that kiss—the frustration, the anger, the love, and the hope that maybe, just maybe, things could be different.

That day just you and Rafe moved together in a rhythm that felt both familiar and new, you realized that maybe—just maybe—maybe it was a new beginning.

[livelaughlovesubs]

Nini, I know Scar fucks but definitely not normally he's a frEAk in the sheets.

Idk if that makes sense to you but you're gonna look at Mr. Onigari Manko Man and try to convince me he wouldn't be into some kinky stuff???

I want to obliterate this twink so badly, Nini.

But on the flip side my doting Dom side feels like he wants to be loved and taken care of, listen what he does during work hours is his business not mine.

The voices won and I shall not apologize this time because the truth needs to be free.

-🐇

No. Wait. Who in their right mind thinks scar is vanilla??? /j

Nah but this man has some weird ass kinks. I’m gonna share my corrupted (dark content?) and unfiltered thoughts:

He used to have a thing for the dead, or killing, but got over it. There was just a sudden click where he was like: ‘nevermind, they look pretty while alive too’

👏BODY👏WORSHIP👏 - Man would kiss and lick every inch and worship you, from the toes to the top of your head (would melt if you do the same for him)

Probably has fantasies of noncon, or dubcon. Would encourage you to try out cnc with him

Vagina torture (I can’t get over cuntboy scar), getting stuffed and breeding kink, not that extreme

Bondage, spanking, biting… yea, pretty tame

Pet play or humiliation is also a must, or master slave, dacryphilia Ehehhehe

But chocking, like, until his face turns blue and he feels his life flashing before his eyes

Whipping until he can’t stand it anymore, til his back is covered in new, fresh scars

He would adore the scars you give him, so, knife play >>>

IF KNIFE PLAY IS IN THIS, THEN GUN MUST AS WELL

I kinda believe he’d have very out of pocket kinks too, like committing something he thinks is ‘wrong & sinful’ (pectattiphilia)

[tiny-planet-13]

no bc when I read aftg for the first time like at age thirteen or something like that I genuinely had no clue who Neil was supposed to be paired with in this series like literally going into it all I knew was gay mafia sports and it genuinely shocked me that it ended up being Andrew lmfaoo. idk who I thought it would be tbh, perhaps Kevin?, but yea like I didn't twig it was Andrew until this exact line and I remember being like oh my god this makes so much sense how have I been this dense lmaoo

also just reading this scene now makes me scream I love unfiltered Neil being his best snarky sarcastic self and I love seeing Andrew's loyalty

[mustfindcreativeusername]

Granada Holmes season 1 thoughts

I (finally) started watching this with my grandma and my roommate, who decided to join us. Unfortunately grandma wasn't impressed (pacing) so she dropped it after ep 4. But me and my roommate are enjoying it! So now we're watching it together, 1 ep/day.

Anyway here are my very unfiltered thoughts. Straight from the notes app

--

1- SCAN (30 iul)

Yessss. I liked it. A lot. Loved the disguises, i didn't even recognise him in the first disguise.

..why did they change it to "Irena" tho?? At least that's how they pronounced it. Weird.

At least they didn't butcher her personality

2. DANC (31 iul)

I liked this but it seemed slower. And after they get the bad news i feel like it should've been a bit.. worse? At least make the wounds more horrible. And why is Elsie still in the house? They had time to get her to a hospital.

3. NAVA (1 aug)

I hadn't read this one so i didn't know what to expect. I liked it. We made a lot of fun of Percy. I thought at one point that he had hidden them and was playing it up but no, he really was that dramatic.

Poor Holmes hurt his hand :(

Also very funny, i actually hurt my hand like 10 minutes after the episode ended.

Like during the episode I was all "awww do you want one of my pink peppa pig bandaids :(" and guess what. Guess fucking what.

4. SOLI (2 aug)

Well well well

I enjoyed this

I especially enjoyed Holmes beating up that creep

I have not read this story either but i listened to the Sherlock and Co episode. So i kinda knew the basics but not too much, yk.

My roommate appreciated how polite Holmes was with miss Smith. And i was reminded of that one part in the books where Holmes said that he thought of one of his clients like his own daughter. (Don't know what story it's from tho, i only saw it in screenshots on here)

I think it had a good ratio of intense (the obvious) and funny (holmes being kinda mean to watson, the ending :) )

Also the whole wedding in the woods bit was insane. Who would really think that that's enforceable. Jeez.

5. CROO (4 aug)

I mean it was alright. The "david" thing was a bit weird? Especially because she muttered it in her sleep? Like i guess it's something like calling someone a karen but still. The fact that she still said "david" in her sleep was odd.

Also what... How could someone do that? Indirectly (try to) kill a person who trusts you bc you like their girlfriend. That's insane.

He had it coming. Too bad it took 30 years🤷

Also Holmes being mean to that guy in the beginning was hilarious.

Oh oh and Watson's deduction at the end? "Elementary, my dear Holmes" :)))) that was good. We cheered for him

6. SPEC (5 aug)

AAAHH YEAASSSS YESS FINALLY this is my favourite story from the books, it's one of the ones i read when i was around 10 and it was my favourite then and yeah. Love it.

But yeah loved to finally see it on screen. I imagined the snake bigger and spotty-er but yeah. Oh and i loved the interactions between Holmes and Watson. And between them and Miss Stoner. (I told my roommate if i see one more person describe him as cold and emotionless, I'm throwing hands)

I liked that Holmes kinda felt bad for bringing Watson along because it was so dangerous, only for Watson to immediately go anything for you Beyonce :))

And then in the room, his hand shaking? Quality content. Bc yeah. It's a wild animal, it's unpredictable. (Super stressed at the end when he picked it up?? In his hands?? Like yea the leash was there but bruh-)

Also poor Watson being woken up twice :)) (does Holmes know how to wake someone Watson up like a normal person? Unclear)

Also also- "my intimate friend"

Yes

7. BLUE (6 aug)

Right so i do know the original story but i read it a while ago. I still think it's nice that they let the guy go but i remembered him more sympathetic in the books. Idk. Also, did Holmes keep the stone? I thought it was a bit of an odd choice. And how were they able to free the plumber guy without the culprit or the stone? Ehh yeaah, odd.

Also is everyone forgetting that Holmes and Watson aren't the only ones who know that the carbuncle is with them??

Anyway

God he looked so different at the beginning of the episode, before he did his hair. Also my roommate made a comment about having cigarettes for breakfast and. Yeah, petition to have this guy eat a normal meal?? *Sigh*

Also why did we see Watson with a bunch of presents and then never saw any one of them opened? Chehov's Christmas presents. I wanted to see what he got for Holmes

(At least we have the Sherlock and co episode...)

[r4zzberry]

i have so many little doodles of pokemon trainers theyre sooo silly 2 me. anyways ermm, heres a few!. i have favourites…

lots of these r just random unfiltered autism doodles tbh

BTW ALSO ERM, hc stuff for my vers of these sillies,,,

Kris is a transfem enby who uses they/them pronouns with gender neutral or fem titles

Lyra is pansexual and a she/her demigirl

Silver is transmasc and his gender is all over the place tbh, silly guy, a boything

Ethan is bisexual and probably amab he/him but also i feel like he wouldnt really care if u used fem pronouns and stuff for him, idk

and all 4 of them are in a polycue!

Lyra has ADHD, Ethan, Silver and Kris all have autism all 3 of the protags have things that theyve only done, so like, Ethan battled Red on mt silver, Lyra did the time travel stuff with celebi, Kris did all the stuff in the ruins of Alph and all the stuff with the legendary dogs. also u might notice that in the lil drawing i did of them when theyre like, adventure age and stuff- Kris dosnt have one of the johto starters— thats cus like, in my ver at least- okay so like, Kris and Ethan where childhood besties, but like, Kris’ parents r team rocket scientists n kris moved away from new bark when team rocket disbanded n stuff, and their parents moved to hoenn, so kris’s starter is from the hoenn region. anyways they moved back to johto bc their parents heard abt the whole thing with team rocket trying to reform so, yeah- oh yeah and while kris was gone, lyra moved in, and when kris moved back they felt like ethan replaced them so they where more off on their ownish and stuff, but thoughtout their adventures kris warmed up to lyra and reconnected with ethan :D

i have so many more thoughts jeijedijdhhsifmtyyahbrkoaosm but yeah! thats it for now :3 erm,, if u read this maybe lmk in tags or comments or whatever, um, comments and people actually saying stuff really helps and is like my main source of motivation to post art- i really wanna get more into the tumblr community around the sillay trainers but idk how to talk 2 people so like,, yeah if any1 wants to talk or chat or whatever just say :D! but also u dont need 2 , yeah, um, yea >w<

[ilaiyayaya]

The Anti-Big Oof, Some May Even Say "The Small Foo"

Just played The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog today, a dumb, goofy little visual novel made for April Fool's Day a few months ago. It's really cute, it took me waaaay longer to get to it than I expected, I originally was going to read it the day it released, but uhhh i forgor💀 but now that I have actually finally read it, it's so good and was definitely worth reading. It's not very long, and there's not a ton to it, but it was created by a team of really dedicated Sonic fans including a few of the writers for the IDW comics and it is so incredibly obvious, it is absolutely filled with obscure little references to the series as a whole that only weird obsessive freaks like me would ever even notice. The number of times I went "WAOW✨" was immeasurable, the Knuckles OVA hat, "Big Oof" (classic), I think they even indirectly referenced the fucking Shadow pissing on Eggman's wife video, not 100% sure on that tho, may just be reading into it too much, but in my headcanon they're 100% referencing Shadow pissing on Eggman's wife frfr. It's crazy how the writing teams for every Sonic related thing now, the games, the comics, even the social media is just made up of a bunch people that are just as obsessed with Sonic as even the most insane fans, like the last 10 years of Sonic media has pretty much just been a collection of officially licensed fan passion projects and I'm all for it. Like obviously there's been the typical corporate made stuff that was obviously just rushed out for money and had no love behind it too, just like any franchise, but like, I'm not here to talk about that, I don't want to talk about that, I'm here to talk about PURE, RAW, UNFILTERED PASSION AND HOW FUCKING COOL IT IS!!!

The Sonic community in general is just insane in how passionate they are, like what other community has multiple entire expos dedicated to fangames, that have been recognized by major members of the official Sonic development team? (If you can't tell I am very excited for SAGE and SHC, the next 2 months are gonna be so pog >:)).

It's so exceptionally fun experiencing any kind of work in general that's so clearly made with a ton of passion put into it. Like art that you can just sense the passion oozing out of has got to be like, peak art, always, no matter the actual thing itself, if it's been made with a ton of love, it's peak, no question. It's why there's a lot of specific artists and communities that I just resonate with so hard, like when an artist or community just loves what they make, that's just like, so cool this is my excuse to mention Trigger/Gainax I love Trinax I love it when they have to make the final episode of an anime black and white and at 2fps not only for stylistic reasons but because they just HAD to put their entire budget into the 2 minute big robot scene like how could they resist and I mean this entirely unironically I fucking LOVE that they know exactly where their talents and passions lie and are willing to put everything into what they want to make at the expense of other parts that they don't want to make. Remember when in Promare Galo starts ranting about like ancient firefighters or some shit in the middle of a fight and it was basically just a stand-in for the writers wanting to rant about ancient firefighters or some shit? yea, that was cool. Remember when in Promare they kis-

Also I don't know where to put this but I want to say it because I thought of it, but references aren't just cool because you get the reference they're making, references are cool because they can show a clear love of the thing they're referencing, and that's why Sonic is cool ok bye :)

The fact that this game is the 2nd time they've referenced the Peter Griffin death pose in official Sonic media is honestly very concerning.

[lightningandfireinmybones]

Happy New Year's! 💜💕🖤The new chapter slayed ( to be expanded upon on future ask)

For the possible future one shots regarding our murder Spouces, here's a thought!

At one point when Aemond was thinking about their childhood together he recalled that one time when she almost got wasted by a stray arrow from a soldier practicing. Id love to see that. Those times Aemond mentioned when he first felt her rely on him and trust him. Maybe times when he felt the same towards her, when as a child he was vulnerable with her.

Shit, id love to know more of their friendship! Of theie childhood together before Driftmark when they didn't have the weight of of that whole mess on their shoulders and that gap between them. Just more recollections of Aemond or from Val. What were their unfiltered unadulterated thoughts of one another before it all went to shit.

Maybe it's a lame idea but im a sucker for flashbacks and the like.

HAPPY NEW YEAR bestie I’m so excited to hear your thoughts on the new chapter:’)

AND OH MY GOD yea I’ve been thinking of doing childhood flashbacks too!! The progression of their friendship, the foundation and the arrow thing for sure!! Not a lame idea at all I love it and i think a little mini prequel would actually probably be super beneficial to understanding aemond and Valaena at the start

Live laugh love this

[schitzygirl]

ALRIGHT INTRO TIME!

Hello i am schitzy girl, you may call me Ash.

I'm a schizotypal teen posting (mostly) unfiltered thoughts and such

I use any pronouns

If you dont like me or the language i use to describe MY experience block me. If you think any x disorder makes someone a bad person BLOCK ME! If you dont like me joking about something serious go cry before you BLOCK ME!

THERE MAY BE UNTAGGED UNREALITY OR OTHER TRIGGERS!! I will do my best, but im not always in a super lucid headspace to be tagging

and the normal dni ya know racists TERFS and other people who are missing a chunk of their brain, i hate interacting with idiots, block me. If you interact i block you.

If you wanna fake claim go somewhere else, you might think im too "wierd" or"cringe" to have schizotypal but you arent my psychiatrist and you arent me, so you have no right to bring your fake claiming round here.

FUCK MORAL PURITY!! 🎀‼️

well yea even this intro is a rant so yea

[twntyfiveotwo]

No Regrets

I ended my first serious, long-term relationship. Not because we fell out of love, not because we crossed any boundaries we shouldn’t, but because I finally realised this relationship can’t work out. I mean, it’s all so ideal to say “If 2 people love each other, what is there to not work out?” Well to make it work out there needs communication, what if we both suck at communicating our needs and feelings? Doesn’t help that we are long distance. And also what if he just doesn’t love me enough to work hard for me? See, I don’t want to settle for the bare minimum anymore. I am sick of hearing excuses after excuses of why something can’t be done for me because I know well enough, if he really wants to do it for me, he would try and try and try a hundred times before he gives up. But no, he would always expect me to give up on what I want in exchange for him to have an easier time. Technically it’s not wrong. I don’t fault him for that. But if he doesn’t want me bad enough why should I stay? If he doesn’t want to fight for me then why should I settle? I spend my whole life fighting for myself because I grew up in a house w adults that didn’t know how to protect me. Then why, should I settle with a relationship that would only make me relive through my childhood? I don’t need to do that, and neither do I want to do that

Sure, I miss him. It feels a little empty not having that person you always go to after a long day. The person that you would share everything with, unfiltered. The person that you would always share about a new show or a new game with, and watch the shows or play the games together. The person that you spend almost 3/4 of your day with, and almost everything that you do or talk about is with him. It’s to the point that now whenever I have something I wanna share or I wanna do, my brain automatically jumps onto the idea of doing it w him and I need to consciously remind myself that he is not here anymore. Or maybe it’s just the comfort of always having someone around. I tried to make it work. I gave him chances after chances to prove his love to me. I communicated my needs, I stayed open minded. But despite me lowering my expectations to as low as I can put them, he can still manage to disappoint me with his lack of sensitivity towards my needs. I’m not saying everything that he does in his life needs to revolve around me. That’s just not realistic, I fully grasp the concept that we are two separate entities even if we are in a relationship together. But he doesn’t make me feel loved. I feel disposable in his life. Like if he needs me yea he will come over and find me but if there’s another group of people he rather be with then I would always feel like I’m his last option. And it makes me feel pathetic. Does your love mean so little, or do I just not deserve a great amount of love?

It’s so hard to not fall into that loop of thought about how I’m undeserving of love when my entire fking love life is just a series of tragedy. At this point I’m already fully convinced that no one will ever love love me. Romance movies and books alongside romantic relationships on social media will always be a fantasy for me. A vision that’s too far out of a reach for me. For once I’m not frantically looking for the next person to fill the void in my heart because I think at this point I’ve fully lost faith that it would work out for me. I’m sick of putting in my 101% for people who won’t even give me 50%. It’s a little dirty of me to tarnish the name of love this way but I’m so so fking tired. I don’t want to meet new people anymore. I don’t want to make other people happy anymore. I just want my life to be about me. Am I lonely? Yea sure I am but it can stay that way. I’d rather be alone than be hurt by people I pour my heart out for. At least I don’t have to spend my time, energy or money on other people anymore. I can spend it all on myself, and fall in love with myself a little more. Maybe that’ll make me happier. Hopefully that’ll make me happier

That being said, I just want to make it clear that this breakup didn’t make my chronic depression worse lol. I can never fully get away from it. It’s chronic for a reason. It will always be there. It’s just a matter of how well I can manage the symptoms. And as of right now, I think I’m coping pretty ok. Maybe you would think that I sounded extreme with my loss in faith in relationships entirely. But maybe see this from another light, the only reason why I even dare to lose faith in relationships is because I’m finally starting to love myself a little more. Actually no, the fact that I even had the courage to end the relationship despite knowing that it means I would become lonely again is precisely because of self-love - I finally understand that I deserve more. I know I deserve more, I just don’t think anyone else will give me more. Then if that’s the case then I’ll just do it for myself. Fk all the people who failed me, it’s not their fault but it’s also not wrong of me to be upset because after all I’m the one getting hurt. Fk them all, I don’t need any of them, not at all. Because now I hold the power to make myself happy

Guess we are welcoming a new era of me this time

[fncreature]

Squid Game MC Event thoughts (I was watching Cubs POV and I wrote these on my notes app while watching, at the end I switched to PhoenixSC then Wallibear for a raid sorry for cuss words)

Squid game thoughts

Before games

-Why isn’t Grian streaming -Why aren’t most people streaming -How did PhoenixSC make something actually not that cursed -Grian saying calamari games lol

Red light green light (game 1)

-Grains freaking me out -MOVE -MOVE FRICKING MOVE -oh god be careful cub -JUST SAW ANTVENOM AT THE FINISH LINE THANK GOD -who’s the brown Wallibear -IS THAT TIMEDEO

In between

-Wait im_a_squid_kid is streaming this holy crap

Game 2    (Game 1 redo)

-So frickin scared -Be careful grian -MY FRIXKING HEART BE CAREFUL -the gunshot sounds -Cubs safe -Be careful g I swear to fuckin god -Beef made it -G MADE IT -Ely made it I rhink -Wallibear made it

Inbetween

-107?? Out of 200??

Game 3 (tug of war)

-Please stay on the same team cub and g -Joe and cub are together -WHO HAS A POPBOB SKIN -Deo survived to here -MY EARS -OH NO MY EARS THEYRE BROKEN -PLEASE WIN!!! -*brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* -I see joe -Winning let’s go blue -They won pog

Inbetween

-Omg they lost only 11 ppl lol -Is that ijevin -Captainsparklez is alive i think -WHO DIED THO -are they just gonna move on -Can’t believe the servers holding up -Poor ppl tho

Game 4 (hide and seek)

-Good luck g -Please win g sorry cub -Even if I’m watching cub I want g to win -Wait what if they watched the stream Only 1 left -G won yay!!!

Game five (glass parkour)

-Fuck be careful -Go g go -Wait why did Phoenix say no not yet -THE GLASS BREAKS??? -Duck be careful -Stop punch -Cub were trusting you -Oh god my heart -Thank god -Go g go I swear -My heart -MY FUCKING HEART -That sound lol -Like ohhoh -Oh ten mins thank god take your time -Kay go Grian go -Go already -Be careful you have time -Be brave I swear -BE CAREFUL NO SWEATY HANDS G -time??? -Grian you got this -Five mins now -JOES ALIVE??? -That one dude bouncing lol -Three mins -GET AWAY FROM THE EDGE -MOVE -joes good at this -Two mins -No sweaty hands g I swear be careful -It’s not just a game -No don’t listen -WHOOO HE WON

Feast

-Wait they only know G??? Oh god -WAIT TIMEDEO SURVIVED -If Timedeo wins I’ll be shook -Wait Wallibear is alive holy cow -Gong is pog -So scared rn -WAIT STRAGHT UP PVP -oh god no be careful

Game 6

-Oh god no -*eliza voice* stay aliveeeee -WHO HAS A SWORD -KILL THEM ALL G -Someone has a bow??? -Oh be careful -Legends always hide -*billie Elish voice* I’m scaaaAaared -RUN -FUCKING RUN -DONT TEAM ON MY BOY -WALLIBEAR WHY -who’s left one and a half??? -Protec him -Don’t kill him I swear to god protec grian -Frocking hide please survive -GRIAN DOESNT KNOW WHAT LUNAR IS -GRIAN ITS A PVP CLIENT -Be careful ok g -Five ppl left -Fight but save my boy -Don’t risk it man -Stay safe man -Dude behind the tree is smart -Who’s ur friend g -I think his name is chilbee -Phoenix help him I swear -They’re gonna shrink the map!!!! -I’m so scared g -Give him a weapon -Give him food!! Notch apple to Grian -GOOD JOB AT MURDER MY MAN -MAN IS COMIN BE CAREFUL -YESSSS GO -chill there -Be careful I swear -Dreamslayer let’s go man -Someone’s checking -NOOOOOOOO -RIP THO -GG tho -Rip 😭 -Top five? -xNestorios alive pog -Wallibear is alive pog -Go Wallibear -Wait no -GG NESTORIO -BRO CANNOT BELIEVE THAt -Nestorio gg -Nice job everyone

Aftermath

-Wait what now -But gg Nestorio -Wait was it practice -Gj everyone -Congrats Nestorio -Fun to watch, hope they make another, 10/10 -Bye -Fun -Love that thanks Phoenix -WAIT XNESTORIO WON MCC RISING TOO?????? -MANS POG DUDE HOLY HECK HES GOOD -Oh man -Wait how did loverfella do -Ok so what now -BADBOYHALOS IN PHOENIXSCS CHAT HOLY FRICK -IS THAT QUIFF -ANTVENOM -Man -Wait pigical -Wait I see this bedwars youtuber I used to watch but I forgot -GG NESTER -WALLIBEAR RAID TIME -I can’t download much sad -Don’t care lol -Oh bedwars -WALLIBEAR GOT SECOND???????? -WALLIBEAR POG -Man I should post this- Wallis camera went out -Aaaand it’s back -I’m done bro -Ive never actually watched the Netflix series

[heleneplays]

so relics req anon my beloved,,,

i'm so sorry it's been 10 days since u came but i can only offer this small preview as of now of the. what will probably be actually fully lined & colored piece instead of the first (but actually second in draft) i showed,,,

BUT ANYWAYS. them:

it's about the feeling love and affection for one (1) off-key dork

[saradika]

ok so. i am a monsterfucker at heart and i know u r too. so consider this:

din is a mandalorian, and always keeps his helmet on. u think it’s about his creed and yea, it kind of is but mainly it’s for your protection.

like just consider din being like a vampire and ur scent is just so good to him that he can barley control himself with the helmet on, god forbid he ever take it off. he feels downright feral every time u brush past him, and the fact that he knows u like him, he can smell your arousal every time he comes back with a bounty hopped up on adrenaline and just oozing confidence and dominance, drives him insane

but if you ever do catch him with it off in some crazy situation, your scent would just overwhelm him and drive him nuts

yeah hed have u on all fours with his cock in ur cunt while u beg for more in no time. i just know it.

does this even make sense

Lee. Babe. You could not have sent me a better thot. ❤️ I am so in love with this - if you say “vampire”, I come sprinting. You got me real good with this one.

I hope you don’t mind, I typed up some bulleted thoughts on how this could go, based on your ask! I just honestly loved it so much. I couldn’t stop thinking about it last night.

Vampire!Din Djarin x F!Reader

Rated E | 1.3k words

-------

You always thought his creed was the reason he hid his face from you. That had made sense, that was something you understood and expected.

Thinking you could change a person’s belief or religion just for your own preferences was cruel, and the thought had never entered your mind.

But then again, neither had this.

The door swished open, and before you could move, before you could make even a sound he was gliding in, his shiny Beskar smeared with rusty-looking grime, ripping the helmet from his head.

His head turns, and that’s when you’re trapped, utterly locked in by his gaze.

It’s his Eyes.

You’re drawn to them, helplessly - the iris a biting, crimson red, the sclera surrounding a deep, inky shade that feel bottomless.

Your gut twists as you stare into them, and it’s only with effort you’re able to tear yourself away.

You miss his snarl as you snap your eyes shut, the way his lips stretch over teeth, flashing a pair of canines as sharp as razors.

But it’s too late - there’s no going back, not now.

The both of you know it, his breath coming in heavy huffs from where he stands a few feet from you.

“Look at me.” His voice is low and rough, the unfiltered sound making your pulse spike

So, you do. And he’s beautiful.

Something in the back of your mind is whispering, telling you to leave, to run, but you push that voice out of your thoughts. This is the man you care so much for, how could he hurt you?

Din’s hands curl around the doorframe, his posture looking like he’s trapped between wanting to bolt, and - well. You’re not sure.

You breathe out, eyes still roving over his face, tracing the facial hair dusting his upper lip and chin. If you could, you’d stare at him for hours.

In a world of so many species and creatures so different than yourself, what does it matter to you if his eyes are red, instead of the brown, green -or even blue - you had imagined?

But he’s still gazing at you like he’s half-hoping you’ll run.

And now that you’ve seen him, all of him, it just makes you want him more. You want those lips on yours, on your breasts, between your legs-

He growls and it’s frightening, the sound a deep rumble in his chest that you can hear from your perch on the bunk.

“I can smell you, mesh’la,” His voice is smoky, low and rough in his throat. “How much you crave it, can smell how wet your hot cunt is for me. Can practically taste you on my tongue.”

It’s almost as if he’s speaking out loud to himself, his eyes slightly glazed over, like he sees you but doesn’t see you.

The embers in your lower belly heat, and your thighs clench together. He sniffs the air again, his knuckles white with the strength of his grip.

Din’s unusual eyes find yours again, and he looks hungry. His voice, amplified without the helmet, shoots straight to your core.

“Gods, what I’d do to take you right now.”

Your brain is about five seconds behind, scrambling to catch up. Other parts of your body choose the words for you instead, more primitive, delicate parts of you.

“S-so take me.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking.” His clipped voice grits, sharp like flint on rock.

You don’t, not really - but you do.

“Take me. Don’t make me beg.”

He looks like he could eat you alive, and you think he just might. Din hesitates, and then he lunges.

You’re stripping down and he’s helping you, hands fisted in the fabric of your shirt as he tugs it over your head. Your thin pants are nearly ripped off your legs, and you realize with a start that he’s been holding back.

Since the beginning, most likely. Either to keep from hurting you, or keep from scaring you. But he’s too worked up now to keep it in check.

Before you can blink, you’re on the bunk, knees folded and bent up near your ears, on full display for him.

His moan is wanton at the sight, and then he’s leaning down to lick you, his tongue pressing against the tight ring of muscle, making you squeak, before moving upwards to your wet, slick-soaked folds.

Din eats you like he’s starving, his lips and tongue working sloppily against you, tasting every inch, going back to cover all of you.

His tongue then dips deep into you, deeper than you’ve felt before, licking and tasting your inner walls and groaning against your skin

You curse him for keeping this from you. Mourning the before - you’d never be able to forget the way this man is ruining you with his perfect, talented tongue.

He growls against your skin, and you see them this time, the set of perfectly pointed teeth, made for piercing.

When his tongue moves up to your clit, two of his fingers sinking into you and pressing, you’re gone, hips rocking against his face and wailing as you cum hard around him.

You see stars as he licks you through it, his tongue dipping deep into you again to taste your slick, savoring the way you gush around him.

Then, he’s flipping you around, pushing you onto knees and elbows while your pussy finishes convulsing. He lines up this thick length, the tip already pressing and pushing between your folds.

With a grunt he bottoms out into you, a loud moan ripped from your lungs as he fills you. He feels thicker than usual, seeming to swell within you as his hips rest flush with yours.

He gives you a brief moment to adjust, but the second you grind back against him, he’s off, hands around you as he builds up to rough pace, skin slapping loudly on skin.

His chest presses against your back as he leans over you, the weight grounding you as his cock rubs your inner walls, sending sparks down your spine.

Din’s tongue drags over your neck, tasting your skin, feeling the hot pulse of veins under skin. He moans at the sound of your pounding heart under his lips, pressing open-mouthed kisses against your flesh.

His teeth scrape against your sensitive skin and you shudder beneath him, but he pulls himself back, not allowing himself to bite down, though he aches to do so.

No words can come out as he fucks you, pinning your chest and shoulders to the bed as he ruts roughly into you, your breath coming as heavy pants in time with his thrusts.

“Could always smell you,” he grunts, hand fisting in your hair, tugging on it until your head rolls to the side. “You smell incredible, so, so sweet… never imagined you’d taste this good, though. Could eat you all day.”

The fingers circling on your clit leave for a moment while he sucks your release from them, his fingers disappearing between perfect lips. They’re slick with his spit as his lips part, and he returns them to where he’s been working you.

“Been driving me fucking crazy, your scent is everywhere on this ship. Takes all my self-control not to just take you whenever I see you look at me like that.”

His hips slow to a grind, his cock rocking in and out until he’s rubbing against the spongy spot on your walls that has you tightening up beneath him.

“L-Like what?” You manage to concentrate long enough to ask.

“Like you want me”.

You knew what he meant. Not a carnal ‘want’ though, Maker, you did want that too. An aching want, a bone-deep desire, something completely overwhelming and devouring.

“I-I do,” your eyes squeeze shut, the pleasure blinding and cresting, you’re suddenly coming undone again, “F-Fuck Din. I do, I want you, I want-”

Your muscles bearing down, your pussy clamping around on his cock as you flutter around him, voice choking on a moan as you cum again.

Din’s hips stutter against yours, feeling your heat around him, pressing himself as deeply into you as he can.

“Feels so good, cyar’ika. How do you always feel so fucking perfect-“

He’s only a few thrusts behind you, spilling into you with a deep groan, his forehead buried between your shoulder blades.

His cock pulses and swells in you as he unloads, ropes of cum painting your walls with each shaky pump of his hips.

Din leaves you spent and exhausted, his body pressing you into the thin mattress, nose buried against the smooth column of your neck.

“Mine.” His voice is tired, softer now, and you’re still not sure if he’s talking to you or himself. But you answer anyway, pressing your face to the warm hand cradling your head.

“Yours.”

———

(Tagging a couple mutuals 💕: @rexsjaigeyes, @justwastelandbabyy, @zinzinina, @pala-din-djarin, @latenightsthoughtsnstuff, @mandaloriandin, @deathwatchnightowl, @clanoffetts, @jangofettswife, @thiccumz, @themaydecemberist, @delusionsxfgrandeur)

[kakusu-shipping]

Oh my god this took me 2 hours fuck Freddy Fastbear furry artists are gods how the hell anyway shitty self insert fanfiction below and then unfinished draft of the same situation under the cut because I liked the dialogue but couldn’t write good tonight, apparently.

It was late past midnight.

Emile, a Freddy Fazbear entertainment trained Mechanic, sat outside the Funtime Auditorium in a heap, sobbing and trembling. Blood rushed from a large gash in his right arm, his fingers were swollen and purple, his pants legs were torn and frayed, as a last ditch effort to escape.

It was just for fun, to see if he could fit inside his friend’s stomach hatch. Funfetti, as he’d affectionately called Funtime Freddy, thought it’d be fun and promised to let him out in just a minute.

A minute was too long.

The inside of the hatch was completely exposed joints and gears which rotated with every step and motion Freddy made.

The Animiatronic was excitable, having his dear friend so close was too much to stand still with. Despite Emile’s protests he’d danced around the empty auditorium, cheering and laughing.

He was the only one laughing.

Emile had no safe place to grab onto inside the bear, every part moved and twisted, he was thrown violently into exposed wiring, latches, and gears. Freddy’s unfiltered static laughs echoing the small chamber with roaring volume.

When he’d finally gotten freed, the experience all sent him into a state of self defense, instinctively he moved away from the source of his panic, scooting backwards across the floor with his injured arms.

Freddy had a short temper, and took great offense to being feared.

He’d grabbed the mechanic, too angry to be stopped by even Bonbon, lifting the small man off the ground. His face plate opened, exposing his endoskeleton, threatening to swallow the man up again and this time leave him inside until he was nothing to mush between gears.

Emile panicked. He kicked up, hard as he could manage, into Freddy’s jaw. The shock was enough to make the animatronic drop him, and he sprinted for the exit.

He’d called him employer. He quit on the spot. He’d go home when the lifts were reactivated at 6am and never return. Niughtmares of the incident would haunt him for years afterwards, he’d be sure. But so long as he never saw Freddy Fazbear again, he was sure he’d recover.

Funtime Freddy, however, wasn’t willing to let him go just yet.

“You have a stomach hatch?” Emile questioned, looking over the blueprints of his latest repair project and recent friend, Funtime Freddy. He was a simple mechanic, smart in robotics at least, and currently the only one able to get close to the robotic bear.

“Yea-ah!” Feddy excitedly turned, eye twitching, repairs still in progress as a few glitches still shown through. He patted his stomach with his left hand, the right occupied by his best friend, Bon Bon.

“What’s it for?” Emile leaned back on a table, currently stripped of party decorations for cleaning.

Freddy opened his mouth to speak, only for Bonbon to pat it closed, “Oh you know, storage. Makes him lighter to have that much empty space.”

Emile hummed, flipping through his list of duties tonight, before placing them down in favor of this new finding, “Show me?”

Freddy and Bonbon exchanged a glance. The bear gave rather pleading eyes to his rabbit attachment, who gave a sigh and nodded. Freddy wiggled joyfully, a rusted metal creaking echoing through the empty funtime auditorium as the pink patch on his otherwise white body swung open like a door. 

Emile pushed off the table and strolled closer, examining inside the large bear, “Wow, it’s pretty spacious. A small kid could pretty easily sit down in here.” He shined a light through the bears body, examine the many exposed wiring and joints.

“Wa-anna try-y?” Freddy asked

“I said a small child,” Emile leaned back out of the hatch. Freddy’s free hand landed on his head, measuring back to around the top of his stomach hatch.

“I-I’m not se-eeing much of a dif-fferance.” The bear teased.

Emile made an offended noise and pushed on the bear’s hand, “I’m not that short! You’re almost 8 feet tall!” His argument fell on deaf ears and Freddy roared in laughter, landing his hand back on the mechanic’s head to ruffle his white hair.

Emile once again shoved Freddy’s hand off his head, gave another fake annoyed huff, and turned to get his tools, “I don’t have time to mess around in your empty gut anyway. We’re fixing that voice box of yours today.” He declaired, going through his tools.

“Aa-aaw, but you sa-aid you liii-iiked my stutter, tha-at it was cha-armi-in-ing.” Freddy followed, stomach still opened.

“Yeah, it’s cute, but apparently some kids are having trouble understanding you.” Emile looked up to see the bear standing over him, back against the open hatch. He reached up and poked his nose with a wrench, “Trust me, Funfetti, I’d keep it if I could. But I can’t get payed if you’re still busted.”

“Boooooo.” Bonbon added.

“Agreed.” The mechanic sighed and turned to face the two, lifting himself to sit on the table behind him, “Now come here, get comfy, I lemme open your face.”

Freddy formed a pout, the best he could with a plastic face, and looked away.

“Oh, come on now. Don’t be like that.” Emile reached out, patting the bear’s arm, “Funfetti...” He tried, and the bear didn’t budge, scowling a little harder.

The mechanic sighed, his eyes landed on the still open stomach hatch. He could probably reach the throat module from there.

“Alright, fine, repairs can wait.” He faked giving in, hopping from the table, “Lemme in your gut.”

Freddy turned, eyes wide and excited, “Really??” Bonbon didn’t look as ecstatic.

“Just this once, and only for a minute, alright? I’m not claustrophobic or anything, but I do have other things to do tonight.”

Freddy nodded, “Right! Ju-ust-t a minute! O-one minut-ute.”

Emile’s eyes landed on the open hatch again. He saw several exposed joints and cogs, a few wires, probably delicate machinery, but mostly moving parts that kept up with Freddy’s large energetic frame.

He placed a hand inside, there was no flat surface, just more joints and wires and cogs, thick pieces of metal that rolled and shifted when Freddy would take a step. Emile bit his lip.

“You’re not gonna like. Lock me in here, are ya, Funfetti?” He glanced up at the bear, who smiled as bright as ever. It wasn’t an answer, but it was enough, he supposed.

Emile climbed inside the animatronic, folding his knees into his chest, he sat with his back to the door, holding his arms as tightly around himself as he could. His neck bent at an odd angle to avoid tangling his hair in Freddy’s chest cavity. It was tight, but he fit.

“Oh. It’s a LOT smaller once your actually inside.” Emile spoke his thoughts out loud as Freddy closed the door on him, sealing him in darkness and metal.

The mechanic flinched as the motors under his feet turned, shifting him to the right, he felt his shoulder scrape another moving cog, cutting him slightly.

“W-Woh woh! Funfetti, do NOT move! There’s nothing separating me from your endoskeleton!” Emile shifted a bit to curled his legs even closer to himself, “If I get all mushed into a pretzel in here they might void my life insurance.”

Freddy’s laugh sounded just as clear inside him as it would outside, though his voice was more raw, unfiltered static as he spoke, “Tha-at’s what you’re-re worried about-t? L-Life insurance? Who-o would that even go-o to?”

“I dunno, funeral costs I guess.” Emile pressed his foot against what stood for Freddy’s spine and pushed himself to sit up a bit more, catching his hair in the upper mechanics, “Just hold still, alright? I don’t want to loose a finger in here.”

Freddy gave a whine and took another very weighted step, slumping a bit, causing the space inside his stomach to become even smaller, “But wha-at’s the po-oint of you bein-ing in there if we’re ju-ust going to sta-and-d here?? L-let’s take a wal-alk.”

“Funfetti, no, I’m serious don’t-” Emile didn’t finish getting his words out as Freddy took another step, then another, much quicker. Was he jogging? Running?? Skipping??? Whatever it was it made it impossible for Emile to stay still, and without something safe to hold onto, he was at the mercy of the machinery.

He called out, but he couldn’t be heard. Freddy was laughing, having a blast running around with his best friends. Bonbon on his hand, Emile in his stomach. Friends should always be this close. Together and inseparable.

The two were making a lot of noise, probably laughing, just like him. Having just as much fun as they trompted around the Funtime Auditorium, weaving between sparse tables and abandoned party favors.

“FREDDY LET ME OUT-”

A harsh noise rang between the fun, making him snap back into focus. In his stomach he heard screaming, pleas for release. The bear blinked, and opened his hatch.

Emile tumbled out backwards, yanking his leg out with a loud tearing noise. Up his arm was a long, deep cut bleeding out on the floor, his pants were ripped, he hand minor scratches along his face and neck, one of his hands was purple, his finger bent the wrong way. 

Freddy reached out to him, confused. They were having fun, weren’t they?

Emile looked up at Freddy, tears in his eyes, and terrified. He moved quickly backwards, scooting back on his hands, flinching in pain as he did.

Freddy blinked, tilting his head a bit.

“What... A-are you... sc-cared of us now?”

The question hung, Freddy clenched his free hand.

“Y-You’re... Scared of us? Fo-or a harmless l-little PRANK?” He stepped forward, Bonbon told him to calm down, and he did not.

Emile flinched at his approach, Freddy grabbed the mechanic by the latch of his overalls before he could flee any further and lifted him off the ground to eye level.

“Sca-ared of Fred Bear now?! L-Like tho-ose stupi-id little kids?! Is tha-at it?”

“Freddy stop-” Bonbon tried, and Freddy ignored him.

[jaedreaminn]

On The Bridge

Summary

The water under the bridge was luring but no as much as the boy on the bridge.

Or maybe you were just convincing yourself you liked the water because you hadn't met the boy yet...

Pairings: Renjun x fem!reader

Characters: Renjun, Doyoung «mentioned» Chenle, Taeyong.

About: Angst, recovery, comfort, semicolon, light humour, sad, Bitter-Sweet, open ending.

Word Count: 4.6k

WARNINGS

Mentions of suicide! Attempt at suicide! (Nothing graphic) Read with caution it gets heavy.

Toxic family relations.

Mentioned bullying.

Reader suffers from depression.

You sat on the thick railing of the bridge, legs dangling high above the moon lit waters. It was truly a beautiful and calming site, so peaceful and pure, the complete opposite of your thoughts.

Up on this bridge you were lost in a trance, trapped in a void of your own thoughts that were empty but at the same time raging.

You failed to notice a presence besides you so you were quite startled when a voice spoke asking you, "Why are you here?"

You blinked once at the pretty who sat next to you before calmly answering him, "To watch the water."

"You're not here to....umm..."

"Join the water?" You asked a small teasing smile creeping on you face and the boy seemed to curl into himself.

"Y-yea that" he stuttered.

"Yea I'm here to join the water." You said and he frowned, "But not today. I'll do that the moment my birthday ends" you said with a smile and he looked at you in awe.

"Leave this world a day after I arrived, won't that be cool?" You asked and he hesitated before nodding.

"It would be cool..." He said slowly sitting up straight.

"So you're here to jump too?" You asked, your words too bold and unfiltered for him.

"Oh- umm I, Y-yea" he stuttered, panicking and you smiled softly again.

"I don't think you will. You seem too cowardly to actually jump...I mean you couldn't even properly ask me if I was going to jump" you said with a shrug while the boy with blond hair (you just noticed) slowly calmed down.

"I am." He said with a small nod, "But I wasn't always scared it's just...." He trailed, biting his lip not sure whether to tell you or not.

"Just what?" you asked eyes innocently curiously, he held his breath for a minute contemplating whether to tell you or not and then sighed, "I used to sneak out and come here every night but every time my younger brother would know I was gone and would always follow me here" he said eyes glistening and you felt entrapped in his sullen gaze.

"And we'd sit here on this bridge every night talking about anything and everything. He was bubbly and carefree but always held onto my hand tightly as if he knew I would jump if he let go. But I could never tell if he knew or not because the only thing that was bluntly visible on his face was his million dollar smile." the boy said with a small twinkle in his eye.

"Where is he now?" You asked and a sad smile made its way to the boy’s soft features.

"He's shining as the brightest star in the sky" he replied, pointing up at no particular star.

"He was sick. Born a sick child, I always knew he was going to go early." the boy said and you felt sorry for him, the way he smiled sadly to himself holding the weight of losing a loved on his lean shoulders.

"I'm so"

"No don't say sorry, he lived a good life" he cut you off and for a few minutes the two of you just sat on the bridge silently, two broken souls.

"What's your name?" You finally asked and he looked hesitant before he spoke, "Huang Renjun"

"Hi Renjun I'm Kim y/n" you said offering him a smile with an enthusiastic wave.

"Hi y/n" he said with a small laugh at your gesture, which he found cute.

"So why do you still come here Renjun?" You asked and Renjun stilled, breathing slowly he spoke "I want to jump. I can't handle life anymore but every time it feels like someone's holding onto my arm..." He trailed off and you felt your heart sink, he lived only because of the memory of his brother.

"Why are you here y/n?" He asked, changing the topic.

"Me? Well...I recently shifted here with my parents. My brother stayed back but it's not like he lived with us. I hated my old school and my entire experience there. It scared me to the point I have an anxiety attack at the thought of going to any school so I'm being home schooled now. Home school isn't better though considering I'm stuck at home with the constant yelling. I'm invisible now almost as if I was never supposed to exist so that's what I'm here to do. To not exist." you said in one go biting your lip nervously at the thought of over sharing but Renjun smiled at you and you felt your nervous heartbeat calm down. You also noticed that he really was a beautiful boy because one small smile on his face looked so captivating to you.

"That's sad... I wish you didn't feel that way" he said earnestly and you felt something close to genuine happiness at that statement for a brief second.

"And I wish I was never born...it's not fair to me" you said with a sigh eyes fixed on the water again. Jumping into it and being lost in its current seemed like the most peaceful and joyful thing in the world to you. The coldness of the water and the darkness of the night wrapped around you like a blanket as you finally let go. It sounded perfect.

"What if you find a reason to live?" Renjun asked interrupting your thoughts and you frowned. There wasn't a reason, there never was going to be and even if there was one reason to live there were thousand other reasons to leave.

"What was your brother's name?" You asked changing the topic. Renjun smiled and simply answered, "Zhong Chenle" without prying any further.

And so you two bonded talking about anything and everything or nothing at all. And every night, like routine you went to the bridge and he was there. And that's how you made your first and probably your last friend.

It was on one of the more cheerful nights when Renjun was animatedly telling you about his baby brothers dolphin laugh and about how contagious it was that it had delayed his cake cutting by fifteen minutes because he couldn't stop laughing that you told Renjun when your birthday was.

"In two weeks!" Renjun exclaimed shocked, a frown plastered on his face.

"Yes in two weeks" you repeated with a small giggle at how cute his flustered self looked.

"But that's so soon" he subconsciously pouted rather cutely.

"Want to join me?" You asked even though you knew his answer.

"I would if I wasn't a coward" Renjun said with a frown and held your hand. "I'll miss you"

"At least someone will" you said with a dead laugh and Renjun frowned, for some reason he was convinced people knew you existed. And maybe they knew but if you didn't want to live it was your choice not theirs.

"My brother's in town and we used to be so close now it's only awkward small talk as if he hates talking to me" you said with a sarcastic laugh but it only sounded like a strangled cry and Renjun put a comforting hand on your shoulder not saying anything.

"And my parents...well they don't talk they yell" you scoffed, "They probably haven't even noticed I live with them by how occupied they are trying to hurt each other"

"And I never had any friends and I wouldn't call the people at my old school my friends...ever. They broke me and said that's just how they are or that I'm being dramatic. It was always just me. I'm always stuck outside as if I was never meant to be and maybe I'm not..." You said a sob escaping your lips after your outed your demons and Renjuns heart broke as he pulled you towards him and hugged you as you silently sniffed.

"Don’t worry you won't go alone, I'll come and say goodbye to you" he whispered in your ear and a small smile made its way to your face, glad that he understood you.

"I'd try to stop you but I know it's stupid to try to stop you when I myself want to jump so bad" he said as he tightened his hold around you and you lay your head on his chest. Renjun wasn't cold like the waters were but being in his embrace still brought you peace.

"How come you're waiting till after your birthday?" He asked you and a small smile made its way to your face, finally a question you wanted to answer. "Because that's the one day the yelling stops and everyone pretends like everything is fine and the one day they notice me. It's the one day I'm everyone's favourite and I want their last memory of me to be a happy one" you said, recollecting those rare happy memories as you listened to Renjuns heartbeat.

"I'll send you away happy too so you'd have one last happy memory too" he said resting his head on yours.

He was so warm but you didn't hate it as much as you did and suddenly the water looked too cold.

And so two weeks started to go by and your nights with Renjun got weirder and weirder, he would either be really talkative or extremely quiet. And not the comfortable quite you were used to, not when everything about his quite presence screamed THINKING LOUDLY. But it didn't bother you for too long.

The day of your birthday went as you predicted. Everyone was smiling and suddenly you were the center of everyone's attention. With fake smiles and happiness and peace that wouldn't last. At least their last memory of you was you smiling right? Maybe they won't feel guilty for too long because you were never supposed to exist. But at the same time you wanted them to hurt the way you did, to regret not being able to save you.

The day went by cheerful and night came, you kissed your parents good night and hugged your brother properly for the first time after he returned. You were pretty sure you shocked him a bit but it was your last good bye. You needed it. He was the one you cared for the most in your family.

Once night fell and you were sure everyone was too tired to care you creeped out towards the bridge walking there quickly in anticipation of Renjuns good bye so you frowned when you realised he wasn't there.

You looked at your phone, 11:45.

He still had fifteen minutes to arrive maybe he'd say goodbye to you then.

But it was soon 11:59 and no one had come onto the bridge other than a stray cat.

You frowned looking at the screen on your phone as tears made its way to your eyes, you were always meant to be die unnoticed and alone.

The numbers on the clock changed from 11:59 to 12:00 and you placed it down on the railing next to you as you leaned over to look at the water.

Stupid Renjun, his warmth made the cold water which you loved before seem too cold. But at least it was dark.

You placed your arms on both sides of the railings and gave yourself a slight push ready to slip and fall off but just then a hand clasped onto your arm and you turned around to look at a red faced Renjun.

"M-my brother used to...” he panted, out of breath and you looked at his pleading eyes worried. “He used to hold onto me and now I'm going to hold onto you" he said, breathing heavily from his run here.

"B-but you said you understood" you yelled anger bubbling inside of you, a frown making its way to your face, how could he stop you just because he was scared.

"I didn't understand two shits." He said sternly, standing up straight. "At first you inspired me and I thought that I'd finally have to courage to jump if I do it with you but then I didn't want to see you go....I already saw Chenle go without being able to do anything for my baby brother who wanted to live and here I was letting you go and thinking of taking my life, a life which Chenle could have never had. What an insult it would have been to his death if his brother who wasn't forced to die took his own life after his baby brother fought so much to live? And you! How could I just sit by and watch you take your life" he yelled as tears threatened to fall.

"So I decided not to come today but I care too much to not show up. So the only thing I can do right now is hold onto your arm to make sure you won't jump while talking about anything and everything until you forget about wanting to jump. Just like Chenle did for me." Renjun said hurriedly and desperately, face turning red and fresh tears falling out of his shining, determined eyes and you felt your heart sink as realisation of how real this situation was. His goal was to talk to you until you forgot why you were here but you just couldn't.

"B-but" you started to reason and Renjun shook his head. "No I'm holding onto you" he said, red eyes shining with a passion to keep you alive and you almost felt touched. Almost. This was supposed to be your escape but now one small boy with the voice of an angle has got you questioning everything? His eyes pleaded with you and he rambled about something that fell deaf to your ears as you glanced at the waters. It looked too cold and suddenly death seemed a bit scarier than before.

You closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath and you let yourself die away in the darkness. As you pressed each emotion you felt way under an invisible weight of the darkness that comforted you, that excited you, that promised you eternal peace. Maybe the water was too cold but the darkness was pulling you in and all it would take was one little push to let it consume you.

But the darkness was snatched away from you as a sudden bright light blinded your vision, it was someone's torch from their phone but you couldn't see who was holding it and neither could Renjun as he squinted trying to not look directly into the light.

"Y/n?" A voice called out and your eyes widened, in recognition.

"D-Doyoung?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" he yelled pocketing his phone and running to you, yanking you off the railing and onto the pavement of the bridge.

"Are you mad? Why would you do that! What would I do if I lost you? How could you just think of leaving like that!" He yelled at you, tears shamelessly falling out of his eyes. You noticed he looked defeated but you didn't understand why.

"I-I’m sorry" you mumbled feeling obligated to apologise, looking away biting onto you lip hard, more embarrassed than scared that he caught you.

What you didn't know Doyoung’s mind was a whirlwind of regrets and flashbacks. Of hatred for himself for not noticing sooner for not coming to your aid sooner.

For how noisy his mind was to you it was silent. Too silent. He didn't say anything and now you were scared. Scared of what would happen, scared because no matter how much you tried to predict the outcome your mind remained blank.

"Ohhh what would I do if I lost you" he finally said breaking the silence and holding onto you so tight you were surprised none of your bones broke.

"I'm sorry." He broke into a sob, "I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner. I'm sorry I didn't take you away from there with me, I'm sorry I didn’t protect you at school. I'm so sorry I couldn't do more. But please don't do this y/n" he pleaded with a broken hopeless voice holding onto you tighter, "You're my baby sister and I won't be able to live with myself if I lost you" he sobbed into your hair holding you close to him and for the first time you felt fear, fear of what would happen if you left Doyoung behind.

"I should have protected you and should have just taken you with me not waited until I could prove to our parents I had money oh god" he continued to cry and it hurt your heart, how could you forget your brother's promise to take you away and protect you and how could you forget your promise to love with him. Live with him. You couldn't hold back either, clinging onto him for life as you cried. All the pain inside you finally breaking lose as you sobbed and sobbed in your brother's arms. And suddenly all the emotions that the darkness hid were out in the open and you felt every emotion all at once and it wasn't a burden like you expected but instead freeing.

The pain from the constant bullying, the neglect, having to deal with your parents fighting and then your brother moving out. You were alone and scared and all the emotions you bottled up came pouring out all at once. You felt faint and light headed but you couldn't stop crying your soul out.

You weren't brave but a coward just leaving without really putting up a fight. You felt yourself shift as Doyoung who had stopped crying slowly sat down with you still held tightly in his arms.

You sat on the cold road, head rested on your brother's chest as you listened to his heartbeat and he caressed you head as your sobs slowly died down. You were tired and might have fallen asleep there if it wasn't for your brother's cold voice startling you back into consciousness.

"Who are you?" your brother's asked tone so cold you would have been scared to be on the receiving end of it and that's when you realised- Renjun!

"Oh I'm her.... Friend?" Renjun questioned more than answered and you smiled at the flustered boy as your brother's eyes critically scanned him.

"He's Renjun" you said pulling away from your brother's embrace deciding to end the trembling boys suffering, "He was brave enough to not join me and even braver to stop me" you said smiling at the said brave boy (who was currently trembling under Doyoungs gaze). Doyoung gave Renjun a curt nod and got up to thank him.

You tried your best to hold in your laughter as you watched them awkwardly shake hands. It was definitely a start of a very awkward relationship.

...

You blinked your eyes open, your head was killing you and you felt like you woke up from a drug induced dream. Last night was all messed up for you and you weren't sure if it was real.

You lay there on your bed feeling drained to the core and empty inside. You felt awful. Like you shouldn't have woken up today morning, yet some part of you was secretly glad.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Doyoung who barged into you room and opened your curtains filling the room with bright light, you squinted, your eyes hurting at the sudden surplus of light but for the first time you were glad it was bright rather than dark as you saw your brother standing against the light, smiling at you.

"Get dressed Renjun should be here soon" he said and marched out of your room before you could react. You forced yourself to sit up, brain still not processing a word he had said.

It was a challenge getting ready, especially since all you wanted to do today was lay in bed but you got ready and walked to the kitchen where Doyoung placed a fresh plate of pancakes in front of you.

You smiled at him, sitting yourself down and digging into your breakfast when you stopped and realised how quite it was

"Ummm Doyoung where are..." You started to ask but Doyoung cut you off, "It's like you forgot last night." He scoffed but there was a very obvious smile on his face as if he was happy. You couldn't understand why he was so happy when all you felt was empty and awful after last night.

"They have gone for couples counselling but honestly I think it'll end in a divorce" Doyoung said it so casually that you sat there with your fork hovering in front of your mouth shocked. "Don’t be so surprised. I know it sucks but I'm old enough to take care of you and I'm taking you away with me this time. Let them sort out their own problems and don’t you dare blame yourself for their failed marriage okay." He said sternly walking towards you and feeding you the pancake himself since you just sat there frozen. "And I know they're kind of messed up but they do love us and they have taken care of us, maybe not emotionally but in...other ways" he said placing a hand on your head and you nodded, dumbfounded. You wanted to say something but didn't know what to say or ask so you just sat there watching him, confused. He smiled at that. Everything was happening so quickly it was still taking you time to process it especially after last nights... whirlwind of emotions.

"You can be mad at them y/n. You can be mad at me. You can be mad at whoever okay. Feel things again." He said placing a soft kiss on your forehead as he walked to answer the door.

When did the doorbell ring?

"Oh Renjun you're here!" You heard him happily exclaim and walk back into the kitchen, followed by a shy Renjun. You looked at Renjun confused but he only gave you a shy smile.

"What's going on?" You asked after you swallowed the food that was in your mouth.

"I'm taking you two for therapy" he said so casually as if he didn't forget to mention that to you and by the looks of it he forgot to tell Renjun too.

"But my parents..."

"Renjun I spoke to them and they agreed to it" Doyoung said interrupting Renjun who seemed to have trouble believing Doyoung as he looked at him accusingly.

"Okay I fought with them and they agreed. Plus they can't stop me all the way from China if you consent to this can they?" Doyoung asked with a smug grin and Renjun looked at him in disbelief.

"What why?" You asked still confused "when did all this happen?"

"I got it all arranged last night." Doyoung casually said again as if he didn't forget to tell the two of you all of this and turned to Renjun, "Would you like some pancakes too?"

Renjun flushed in embarrassment at Doyoungs gaze and you frowned.

"But why are you suddenly so invested in all this" you asked, your tone sounding colder than you intended it to be. You regretted your words when you saw hurt flash through Doyoung’s eyes for a second.

Doyoung’s gave you a wary smile before he spoke, "When I left three years ago I wasn't in a good place. But I met good people and I got help. The three years I avoided coming home was because I took that time to heal. And I feel selfish for leaving you but I hope you'll one day understand that I needed to be stronger to take care of you. So that's what I'm doing now."

"Why are you taking me too then?" Renjun asked, eyes downcast, looking disappointed. What you didn't know was that he was disappointed. Someone else was going to take the burden of taking care of him and he didn't like that. He didn't like being a burden. He burdened his parents so much that they left him and now the same thing was going to happen with the only nice people he knew. He was beyond disappointed.

"Because you need help. I have a friend in uni, his name is Lee Taeyong." A small smile made its way to Doyoung’s face, "He helped me out in ways no one else would. He took care of me and he made sure I was okay, he genuinely cared for me even though I wasn't very nice to him. At first I found him annoying but now he's one of the most important people in my life and I don't think I would ever be able to live without him, don't tell him that though. But the thing is he came to me and helped me I didn't go to him, so now I'm going to help you no matter how much you feel like you don't deserve it Renjun. No matter how annoying you think I am." Doyoung said, stubbornness shining in his eyes and Renjun stood there shocked and taken back.

"I also knew your brother" Doyoung said shocking Renjun for the second time in the past five minutes, "He was a child prodigy at SM University, musical talents unlike any other, he was so young and so week but so jovial. His parents loomed over him taking praises given to the kid as their own but that young boy couldn't care less about them. The only thing he would talk about was his brother waiting at home for him, his brother that took care of him, who played with him, who protected him from the monsters in the closet. He spoke about his brother that held his hand when his heart hurt. He spoke about how when he was sick the medicines could never put him to sleep the way his brothers voice would." Tears made their way to Renjuns eyes as memories of everything Doyoung had mentioned came flooding into his mind but he held them back, too stubborn to let them fall.

"Every time he came he would tell us about how handsome his brother was and how talented his brother was. He would brag about how he wanted to spend his whole life being this faceless boys little brother." Renjun sniffed, roughly wiping away his tears before they could leave his eyes as he looked at Doyoung who continued to speak. "I owe it to him, a small kid that really gave me a different view and perspective on life to take care of this amazing brother" Doyoung finished speaking and Renjun broke into a sob, turning away and hiding his face. You got up from where you were seated and walked to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder from behind, hugging him. Your heart broke every time he shook because of a sob. And that's when you knew, you knew you didn't want to continue like this. This beautiful boy deserved a happy life and so did you. You may feel like shit right now but you were going to change that and you were going to help the blond headed boy who stopped you from taking your life genuinely smile too.

"It's going to be a long journey and I know the two of you feel like it would never get better but it will. And I'll be there for the both of you during that time" Doyoung said sincerely and you looked at Renjun who looked at you through teary but hopeful eyes. You brought your hand up to Renjuns face, wiping a tear away as you felt his fingers interlock with your free hand and smiled. He smiled back at you, eyes still shining with fresh tears and you looked at Doyoung who stood at the side with an unreadable expression (but you could make out the hint of pride on his face) and you gave him a single, sharp nod. "We're going to get better." You looked at Renjun, "We're going to move forward"

"We'll take baby steps"

This is the first time I've written something so heavy so feedback would really be appreciated.

Let me know about your thoughts on this story.

It took a long while to come to a final story line/plot and even longer for me to want to post this.

[sonicunleash]

waithold on Kris deltarune

OOOOOO YEAS MY NAMESAKE

Kris (Deltarune)

Sexuality Headcanon: they have major bi swag to me like off the CHARTS like its insane like you know how when its really hot you can see the waves in the air. thats what the raw unfiltered bi swag coming off them looks like

Gender Headcanon: Well there's not really much to headcanon they are they/them nonbinary for real. I don't have any particular image of whether theyre more feminine or masculine or whatever but I imagine they play around a bit with both. but also I don't think they think that hard about how they present at all theyre just at that part in their life where they just wear whatever fits and looks alright enough

A ship I have with said character: krismasusie is soooooo good and so real all of their different dynamics i could say so fucking much about with kris and susie being the outcasts that both parallel and oppose each other but then find catharsis in their similarities and kris and noelle being old friends who used to be so close but have since drifted apart and nonetheless they still know each other so well-- enough for noelle to still notice that when the player is controlling them they are different. honestly I haven't thought as much about krismas as krisusie but well if you ever want to talk to me about them im listening

A BROTP I have with said character: I don't think i have a particular brotp for them yet but god am I curious about their dynamic with asriel. For dynamics we DO already know about i think lancer is a little like a little brother to them.little beast who is so cool and silly and they will make sure he knows he is so cool and then they are searching for him with susie because well they lost him in the dollar store because he found the birthday cards isle and found the ones that play sounds.

A NOTP I have with said character: eehhhh kris/berdly is boring as hell. kris would never ever Ever return feelings for that bird but i will admit berdly's unrequited crush is really funny. key word unrequited i think if berdly asked them out kris would go into the lake

A random headcanon: tbh I haven't thought about them enough recently to have anything on the top of my head but utsup fan kris is so fucking real. I think asriel was a vocaloid fan and passed it on (forced it on) kris through sibling osmosis and now thats all they listen to. the utsup is completely just kris though i think asriel is just a little scared by metal music. also they are so incredibly disabled.

General Opinion over said character: Admittedly I'm not as ill as i could be but i have a feeling this is just gonna be one of those cases where they just gotta marinate a little longer. like i think when the next chapters come out I might start from the beginning just so i can get the whole experience of the characters again and then it'll hit.