#so writing might need to be put on hold until i shut everything down and update bc wtf

[eskawrites]

wip weekend!

tagged by @lesbianlotties thank youuuu! i really wanted to get some substantial writing in tonight this is a great way to kick off <3

rules

Post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to post.

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in or just post.

wips:

nancy pov actual story

nancy and robin and touch*

sleepy nights backup patrol*

i am human (and i need to be loved)

May Chaos Take the World (elden ring au ii)

*these are technically both in the thriving in the apocalypse doc, but those are the names of the headers they're under

snippet from nancy and robin and touch

But there’s no way Robin and Steve would ever date—no doubt in either of their minds, no risk of a casual touch being misread because Robin was a girl and Steve was a guy—all because they both know Robin likes girls. And Nancy—Nancy is a girl. An analytical, detail-oriented, read-into-every-situation-just-in-case-there’s-something-hidden-beneath-it girl. So even if there’s nothing behind any of their touches—and she’s never thought that there is—she now has information that could lead her to question even the smallest gestures.

i never know who to tag so if you see this then consider yourself tagged! tell the people i tagged you! go work on your wips and yell about it on the internet 'cause we want to see it!

[supernaturalgirl20]

Letting Go

Pairings: Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, cursing, light smut, unprotected sex, talking about the past, hurt feelings, Joel being mean, fluff. Contains spoilers for episode 6.

Summary: you think Joel doesn’t care, the problem is, he cares too much.

A/N: wrote this in an hour so forgive any mistakes. Still can’t get episode 6 out of my head and I had to write this.

Comments and reblogs really appreciated 🥰

You knew his past. His losses. His guilt. How he shut himself off from the world once the outbreak happened and you were happy with your lot when a close partnership turned into something more.

Warmth on a cold night and a body to lose yourself in when shit got rough, which if you were honest with yourself, happened more times than not.

What you didn’t know was how he truly felt. About Tess dying, about Tommy leaving, about Ellie and the possibility of a cure, you didn’t even know if he felt anything for you beyond lust. Joel held everything in revealing nothing of the man he truly was.

You’d grown used to it. Used to him never showing an ounce of emotion other than anger. That all changed the night you made it to Jackson.

***

Ellie had stood, eyes flickering around the hall as she began to follow Tommy, abandoning the movie that was showing. Her curiosity getting the better of her as usual and unable to shake the anxious feeling that settled in your stomach, you followed her.

The cold air hit you like a frate train and your whole body shuddered as you emerged from the hall, pulling your jacket up over your mouth. Turning the corner onto the main street you stop in your tracks when you spot Ellie standing outside one of the small buildings, ears glued to the door.

Your gut told you that Tommy and Joel were inside and from the look on her face, they’d been talking about her. Suddenly she rushes off with tears in her eyes and you instinctively want to run after her, comfort her but you need to know what they were talking about.

Pressing your ear against the door, you can make out the muffled sound of Joel’s voice. He’s crying. A fact that completely tilts you off axis. Joel never cries. At least not that you’ve ever seen. Your heart begins to break.

“I just know that when I wake up. I’ve lost somethin’. I’m failin’ in my sleep, that’s all do. It’s all I’ve ever done is fail her, again and again.”

The strangled sob he lets out at the end obliterates whatever remains of your shattered heart and all you wanna do is hold him close until you’ve mended him. Put every broken piece of him back together until he can see his worth.

He asks Tommy to take Ellie to the fireflies and you are suddenly hit with a wave of anger. How can he so easily let her go? You know she means something to him even if he is unwilling to admit it to himself.

Unable to listen anymore, you turn and march back to the house Maria had set up for you all. Maybe Joel could leave her but you couldn’t.

***

As soon as you open the door you can hear her sniffling from upstairs. With a glance around the house, you decided to make some of the tea Maria had left you and bring a cup up to Ellie. Your mom always said that tea solves everything.

Maybe not this, but it couldn’t hurt.

“Can I come in?” You ask as you stand outside her door, two cups of tea in hand. You're met with silence and just as you're about to turn and leave, Ellie slowly opens the door.

Her eyes are red and puffy from crying and you smile softly down at her as you hand her a cup. “Thought you might like some tea. It warms the soul or so they say.”

She smiles at you as she wipes the tears from her eyes and takes the cup from your hand. “Thanks.”

She moves away from the door but leaves it open, an invitation to follow. With the door closed gently behind you, you make your way over to the bed, taking a seat as Ellie sits in the window seat.

The room is quiet. Neither one of you says anything as you sip your tea. You want her to be the first to talk.

“You followed me didn’t you?” Her voice is strained from crying as she turns her gaze to you.

“Yeah, M’sorry I just-I was worried about you…”

“It’s ok. You don't have to apologise.” She quiets again and her gaze drifts back to the cup in her hands. Standing you make your way over to her and take a seat beside her pulling her close.

“He’s going to leave me. Everyone leaves me..” she trails off as she cuddles into you. “I’m not leaving you. I promise.” You squeeze her arm as you pull her closer and you both just sit like that for a moment until the sound of footsteps can be heard ascending the stairs.

The door opens and Ellie’s gaze snaps towards Joel. The expression on his face is hard to read but you know he knows that Ellie heard what he said.

He tells her how old he is and how she would only be in danger if she went with him. That she was better off without him. The whole time you hold her close to your side until she pulls away and storms over to him.

“I’m sorry about your daughter Joel, but I’ve lost people too.” You can tell from the set of his shoulders that she’s hit a nerve.

“You have no idea what loss is.” His voice is an equal mixture of hurt and anger as he towers over her. The urge to step in gets more prominent as the conversation continues.

“Everybody I have cared for has either died or left me. Everybody, fucking except for you.” She shouts as she pushes against isn’t his chest. “So don’t tell me that I’d be safer with somebody else because the truth is I would just be more scared.”

The room is silent for a moment but then Joel turns his gaze back towards Ellie, his voice void of emotions as he stares her down. “You’re right. You’re not my daughter. And I sure as hell ain’t your dad.”

He turns and storms out, slamming the door behind him and Ellie stands motionless as her gaze remains on where he had just stood. You walk up behind her and hug her close. “It’s gonna be ok, I promise. And I know Joel didn’t mean what he said. He’s just emotional right now. I think everything is finally catching up to him. Just get some rest and we’ll take off in the morning, ok?”

Your voice is above a whisper as you give her one last squeeze, Ellie’s nod confirming that she’d heard you and then you leave to find Joel.

***

It doesn’t take long. He had made his way into the other bedroom and was sitting on the bed with his head between his hands when you opened the door.

He didn’t acknowledge you. Didn’t even lift his head as you slowly walked towards him, dropping to your knees and nestling yourself between his open legs.

Your hands rub along his arms as you pull them away from his face and when his gaze meets yours, you can see the unshed tears. Oh, Joel.

You reach up and wipe a rogue tear that has fallen down his cheek and his eyes close at the contact as he sinks his cheek into your embrace. “What’s going on Joel? Why are you just leaving her with Tommy?” You ask even though you already know the answer. You just don’t want him to know you heard his conversation with his brother.

“I’m old. I’m deaf. And I can’t shoot for shit anymore and you know that. She’s better off without me. So are you.” His tone has changed and you know that this is how he deals with his feelings. Buries them deep inside and pretends that he doesn’t care.

“And you think Tommy is gonna be able to take care of her? The brother who didn’t even care enough to tell you he was ok? Joel, you may be older but he ain’t gonna give a shit about Ellie, not like you. So when things get hard, and they will, he’s gonna cut loose and run home to Maria.”

His eyes darken and his jaw ticks as he stares down at you, the softness from a moment ago long gone.

“You don’t know Tommy. Hell, you don’t even know me. You don’t know what I’ve been through, what I’ve done. Not really.” His tone is angry now but you’re not giving in.

“And whose fault is that? We’ve been together for years and I’ve tried to get you to open up but every time you get close, you clam up. I know you blame yourself for Sarah.”

He stands at the mention of her name pushing you off him and moving to the other side of the room, trying to put as much distance as he can between you both.

“Don’t. Mention her name. You don’t know shit. And we ain’t together. You were just a warm body to bury myself in, Nothin’ else. Don’t go thinkin’ you mean anything to me, 'cause you don’t.” He snaps, his whole body tense as he breathes raggedly.

Your chest tightens at his harsh words but after hearing him with Tommy earlier, you know he doesn’t mean it. That he just wants to push you away.

“I know that you have done terrible things to survive because that’s what needed to be done. I know that Tess’ death hit you hard because she was like family. I know you care for Ellie like a daughter but are afraid to admit it because you think you’re replacing Sarah.”

You try to step closer but he pulls back. “Tess was family. Been with me since the beginning and she knew how it was. How I was. You thought, what, that you were different? That I’d care for you? That I’d love you? Well hate to break it to you darlin’, I don’t. Never have, never will.”

Your heart aches. Your chest hurts. And all you wanna do is cry. His words cut deep even though that small voice in the back of your head is telling you he means the exact opposite.

A strangled sob slips past your lips and your body begins to tremble. Something that seems to snap Joel from his trance. He moves fast. Wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close, his face buried into the crook of your neck as he breathes you in.

“M’sorry, baby. I didn’t mean it…I didn’t…” his voice breaks as fresh tears roll down his cheeks and you run your fingers through his hair as you shush him. “It’s ok. I know. I know. Let’s just lay down, and get some rest.”

He nods his head as you pull away and guide him toward the bed, helping him out of his shirt and trousers, leaving him in only his boxers. He doesn’t argue that it’s safer to stay dressed because he needs to be close to you.

You help him under the covers before stripping off, throwing on his shirt and slipping under into bed with him. He pulls you close. His breath is hot on your skin as he whispers into the shell of your ear. “I do you know, love you.”

Your breath catches. You had long thought you’d never hear him utter those words. Turning in his embrace you kiss his lips softly. “I know you do. And I love you too.”

It’s silent as you take in the feature of his face, illuminated by the faint light coming through the curtains. “I heard you earlier….talking to Tommy. I didn’t mean to, I just….I know you blame yourself for Sarah but Joel, that wasn’t your fault. None of it was. Not Sarah, not Tess, none of it.”

You run your fingers along the stubble on his cheek. “I know you care about Ellie, that she’s like a daughter to you and Joel, that’s ok. It’s ok to feel like that. To care. I know I didn’t know Sarah but I know she wouldn’t want you to be like this. She’d want you to be happy.”

“I just can’t fail her. I failed Sarah. I can’t do it again.” His grip on your waist tightens.

“You won’t because you have me this time. I’m gonna be with you every step of the way. No matter what.”

His lips crash into yours as he lays you back in the bed, nestling himself between your thighs. You can feel him hard beneath his boxers and you know what he needs. What he’s always needed.

“I love you darlin’. M’sorry it took so long to say it.” His lips leave a trail of hot kisses along your neck as he pulls at the buttons in your shirt. His shirt.

You slip your hand between you both and beneath the band of his boxers, feeling the weight of his cock in your hand as you pump him slowly. He groans into your chest as his breathing hitches. “Need you, darlin’.”

“Then take me. I’m yours.” You whimper and he shudders above you as he shucks off his boxers. “Need me to get you ready, baby?” He asks through ragged breaths.

You shake your head. “Are ya sure?”

“I’m sure. Please, Joel. Need to feel you.” Pulling your panties to the side he lines up the head of his cock to your entrance and sinks himself into you slowly, groaning at the feeling of your tight walls stretching to accommodate him.

He moves above you, rolling his hips into you slowly, savouring the feeling of you wrapped around him. Something you don’t normally have time for.

Through soft whimpers and low moans, he works you through orgasm as he seeks his release, grunting loudly into your neck as he comes apart above you. Both too lost in each other to realise he’s come inside you.

The weight of the day begins to take hold and you feel yourself slowly succumb to sleep. You whimper as he pulls out, feeling empty without him as he walks through to the en-suite and grabs a washcloth to clean you with.

Slipping under the covers once more he pulls you flush to his chest, draping his arm over your waist. “We should get some sleep. Gonna be a long trek to the fireflies,” he mutters as he drifts further into sleep.

You can’t help the smile that works its way onto your face. Turns out, Joel Miller does care.

Everything: @maievdenoir @amneris21 @hnt-escape @elegantduckturtle @harriedandharassed @jediknight122 @ayrusss @hayley-the-comet @sherala007 @alexxavicry @scorpio-marionette @donnaa @practicalghost @tanzthompson @beskarprincessjenny @littlemisspascal @icanbeyourjedi @thatpinkshirt @maryfanson @sunnshineeexoxo @misspearly1 @misspearlssideblog @athalien @its--fandom--darling @sara-alonso @doommommy @browneyes-issac @trickstersp8 @nembees @kaitieskidmore1 @mswarriorbabe80 @allthe-ships @tintinn16 @hungrhay @rosie-posie08 @manuymesut @all-the-way-down-here @iccedays @tusk89 @graciexmarvel @pedrostories @musings-of-a-rose @untitledarea @your-voice-is-mellifluous @majestyjade @avengersfan25

[20-th-centurygirl]

waves

jude bellingham x fem!reader

summary: a late night beach walk reunites you with your ex in the best way possible

a/n: i'm abit unsure on this bc it's been a while since i attempted to write a full fic but enjoy. i also might make a part two if that's something anyone wants to see <3

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

you'd taken a break from the flowing drinks and crowded club to walk to the beach. in hindsight a girls trip to madrid was an idea that should've stayed in your group chat.

the sun had almost set, the gentle sound of the waves crashing against rocks soothing all of your worries. uni had drained you massively and you needed a break.

you knew you couldn't stay much longer, the darkness that was beginning to blanket the sky making you feel a little uneasy. as you were walking back you saw a tall figure at another part of the beach. you couldn't help but feel drawn to him, something about his presence sucking you in. any other time you'd feel unsafe, but this stranger brought you an immense feeling of comfort and safety. you had nothing to be afraid of.

something in you told you to walk over to him. a decision that seemed impulsive and risky but the adrenaline that ran through you told you differently. his head cocked to your direction at the sound of your heels coming his way. you got closer and closer until a streetlight illuminated his face. it was jude.

you had no doubt that his bewildered expression matched yours. "y/n" his voice was confident but his eyes said otherwise. you could still read him like a book no matter how hard he tried to put up a front. "jude" you matched his tone.

a few seconds felt like decades, both of you unsure of what to say. jude broke the tension first "i'm sorry. i never meant to hurt you. you know that don't you?" his confidence had slipped and you sensed the vulnerability in his voice "but you did jude. you did hurt me" you whispered back. memories flooded back to you far too fast and the need to you had to leave was overwhelming. you'd forgotten all about jude bellingham and you weren't ready to remember him.

"i didn't think i had a choice. it was end it and give you the chance to follow your own dreams or force you to watch me follow mine. neither of those options were fair but i had to choose the one i thought was right. i know it was fucked and i'm still so sorry for hurting you but i had no choice"

"if you had to do it again what would you do?

"i'd do the same thing. i know it's horrible but i couldn't live with myself knowing i'd forced you to live in a foreign country with you resenting me for taking away the life you've spoken about since we were 13" his cheeks has a few stray tears falling down his face and the sight broke you in a completely different way.

"i forgive you jude. i know why you did it. i hated you at the time but i got into my first choice uni. and i wouldn't be able to do that without you. thank you"

"can i hug you?" he whispered, the fear in his voice unlike anything you'd never heard. you only nodded, allowing him to hold you for the first time in years.

his arms wrapped tightly around you waist, his chin resting against your head as he screwed his eyes shut. you could feel judes tears on your hair, your own soaking his shirt as you gripped him tightly. "i never wanted to lose you, i still love you so fucking much" he mumbled into your hair, kissing you lightly.

you eventually pulled back, still holding his waist loosely. "i love you too jude." his gentle smile giving you goosebumps. "where are you staying now?" he asked, taking your face into his hands and stroking your cheeks with his thumb. "in a hotel. it's only two minutes away. can you walk me back?" he shook his head "no, 'm not letting you stay in some hotel by yourself. come back with me" "jude i can't just-" he pressed a finger to your lips "i'm not bringing you back to try fuck you or anything. you can have my bed and i'll go on the sofa and we can talk everything through in the morning."

"are you sure? i don't wanna intrude"

"yes i'm sure. moms gonna be happy to see you aswell."

you grinned at jude as he took your hand in his. you both walked hand in hand back to his new flat, catching up and reflecting on past memories as you both prepared to make many more.

[photmath]

Blue Scribbles | Trent Alexander-Arnold

Pairing: Trent Alexander-Arnold x Female Reader

Summary: Trent and you have always bumped heads, but after seeing him kiss a girl, you begin to feel something you shouldn't.

Word Count: 8.0k

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, little angst reader is drunk briefly, jerkface Trent, vomitting, loose-editing

Note: Not my best work but might as well free up space in my wips. Just a whole lot of nothing but Dominik cameos, sorrry.

“Trent, are you bringing anyone to the party?” Harvey asks, flipping through his notepad to jot down the number of guests.

Trent nods his head mindlessly, head still tucked down as he scrolls through his phone, “Yeah, just put down two.”

“Girls?” Dominik blurts. “Gonna have them meet at the same time?”

Trent looks up at his friend, a smug expression unfolding on his lips as he looks at the rest of the group. All six pairs of eyes await his answer. His eyes circle back to you, his smirk growing wider, “Something like that.”

You dart your eyes away. You don’t care who Trent brings to the party, it just bothered you that after looking at the entire group of six at the table, he stopped and stared at you to confirm his number of guests. It shouldn’t have made you feel anything, but it left you feeling bitter.

Harvey nudges your elbow, “And what about you?”

“Just me,” you murmur. Trent snorts from across the table and you look up at him, he sends you back a wink. “Say what you have to say.”

He shrugs, placing his phone face down on the table, “Nothin.’”

“Don’t start,” Veronica rubs her temple.

“Are you going to tell those two girls, who by the way, are bestfriends, that you’re fucking the both of them?” you remark, ignoring Veronica’s plea. The rest of the group groans, Jude gasping.

“You’re doing what?” His eyebrows wide.

Trent clenches his jaw, the smug expression he wore moments ago disappearing, “I’m not fucking either.”

“Yeah right,” you huff, closing your laptop and slipping it into your bag.

“Where are you going,” Tara sits up, grabbing a hold of your wrist.

“I’m going home.”

“It’s dark out, you can’t walk alone.”

“It’s not that late,” you reply, throwing your backpack over your shoulder. The sun had already set and the apartment was not that far away, although sure, it would’ve been safer to walk with someone.

You don’t notice Trent trailing behind you until the door swings open, him scurrying behind you, “Did you really have to say that so loud?”

“It’s not like we all didn’t know.”

Jude not knowing was his own fault, he was too airheaded at times to remember gossip.

He grabs a hold of your wrist and you spin around to face him. He shoves his hands into his black hoodie, “I’m not having sex with either of them.”

You shut your eyes close, “I don't need to know that.”

“Yeah, well you talk like you know everything,” he exasperates.

Huffing, you pull your jacket tighter to your chest, “Okay, fine. You aren’t fucking either of them.”

Trent purses his lips, “I’ll walk with you.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, come on,” he walks past you, bumping into your shoulder.

Trent is not someone who you consider yourself close to. He was a part of the friend group, but he was also your academic rival. The two of you bumped heads constantly in class, always on opposite sides in debate, and fighting over the better grade in biology. No amount of “forced-bonding”—as Veronica described it—stopped the bickering. Since you met him four years ago, nothing has changed and that didn't seem to be changing soon either.

Trent suddenly shuffles around in his backpack, tsking to himself as he looks back at you, “Do you have a pen I could borrow? We have that paper due tomorrow and you know, we have to write it out.”

You roll your eyes, swinging your bag around to your chest. You’re careful to make sure you don’t slip off the sidewalk but Trent stays close to the side closest to the road, him bumping into your shoulder to move you further away.

“Sorry,” you mutter, unzipping the small pouch. The only available pen you have is a brand new blue Pilot G2 pen, one that you got from the library. You sigh, “Here.”

“Thanks,” he takes it and threads it into the space between the tip of his ear and head. His locs fall on top of it.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes, only helping him because he was walking you home—but he lived in the apartment next to yours. No surprise there.

“Have you already finished your paper?” He asks, turning back to you. A cloud of condensation blows in your direction.

“Yep.”

He nods, “You had what? Romanticism?”

“Uh-huh.”

He chuckles, “What’s got you so upset? I just saw you earlier and you were fine. And then the stunt you pulled in the library? What’s up?”

“Nothing, I’m good,” you stare ahead, the apartment finally coming into view.

He bumps into your shoulder again, this time with more force, “Why are you being such an ass?”

You stop abruptly, attempting to grab your pen back but he just weaves away. “Am I supposed to thank you for walking me home?”

Trent smiles but not genuine, his tongue licking across his lips, “I try to be nice even after you’ve said something about me twice.”

“You live there too!” you scoff, and then turn back to the apartment. Scanning the key fob, the staircase doors open and Trent follows closely behind you.

“I was trying to make small talk with you,” he says calmly, rephrasing his words as if it will prolong the conversation.

“Don’t. We don’t do small talk.”

“Your mood changed so fast, sorry for trying to make sure you were okay,” he relents.

You halt, turning around and looking down at him, “Don’t act like you care about me.”

He gapes, “You’re my friend, of course I care.”

“Friends? We aren’t friends, Trent.”

“Why not?” he looks taken aback, his hand clutching onto the rail. His knuckles turn whiter the longer you take to respond.

“Because you ruined my presentation!”

“That happened months ago.”

“That was an asshole move and you know it, don’t be dense. I worked on it for an entire month and you fucked it all up, for what? A five minute laugh? You cost me my grade,” you cross your arms, feeling yourself grow hot as rage seeps through you. “I would’ve never done that shit to you. Why do you think I’ve kept my distance from you? All I want to do is punch your stupid face.”

Trent huffs, “Then do it, if that’s going to stop making you feel upset.”

You blow out a breath, “You don’t get it.”

“Then tell me.”

“I was this close to getting an A,” you pinch your fingers together, displaying the small gap you needed to bump your B to an A. All you needed was a superb presentation and you would've gotten it, but here comes Trent, infiltrating your hard drive and changing your entire presentation to Latin. Luckily, you had memorized and practiced what you wrote and was able to present it that way, the PowerPoint just a mere background. But it wasn’t enough to change your grade to an A.

You exhale slowly again, “And then you changed my presentation and I got a bad grade on it. Long nights worth of researching, gone.”

Trent glances around the stairs, biting down onto his bottom lip, “I’m sorry.”

“Too late,” you purse your lips. “It doesn’t matter now.” You turn around and head up the stairs. Trent lagged behind but then eventually caught up to your pace. You held the door open for him begrudgingly, him walking past you without a glance. His hands stuffed into his pockets as he walked down the corridor to your and his apartments.

He shuffles around in his pocket for his keys and then opens his door, slamming it closed and you furrow your eyebrows at his attitude. You slam your door back, not caring that it rattles the apartment.

-

Trent is a couple of minutes late to class, your professor going on about your papers needing to be passed down to the ends of the rows so that she could pick them up.

And for whatever reason, your eyes latch onto Trent’s appearance once he strolls into class. A black beanie covers his head as he climbs up the stairs, his backpack on one shoulder, and the black leather jacket he has on makes your eyebrow rise. Was it new?

As he passes by your seat, the scent of his usual laundry detergent is replaced with an unfamiliar cologne. You let out a cough, him glancing in your direction but then turning away as he sits down. His eyes look a lot more hooded than usual, and the sudden emergence of eye bags.

Two seats separate the two of you but the space is so small that it’s almost an arm’s length of distance in reality. You had missed the first day of class, not realizing the seat you chose the second day of class was next to Trent, neither of you daring to move away.

He takes out his paper quickly, passing it in your direction and the ink—it’s black? You give him a dubious look as you pass it to the person sitting beside you.

“Where’s my pen?”

“I lost it,” he mumbles.

“Are you serious?”

He nods, never looking at you as he props up his iPad, “Very.”

“Dickhead,” you whisper. You’d have to grab another pen. You had multiple colored pens, but nothing compared to the slick roll of a Pilot G2 pen. It was a good pen.

Class goes by without another peep from Trent, until the professor tells you you’ll be assigned a partner and topic for the next research paper. You hold your breath as you search through the class’s website to find your partner, and the universe always works against your favor:

Trent Alexander-Arnold. Darwinism.

Trent slams his iPad case closed, seemingly just reading the same list you did and you groan. The paper was due in a week.

“We can meet up later this week,” you suggest.

“I have to get to class,” he says, swinging his backpack over his shoulder and walking away.

You sigh, gathering your things and then following Trent. He is already at the end of the row when you notice a blue tab sticking out of the small pouch of his backpack. Your pen!

You pick up your pace, grumbling at your peers as they stop you from catching up to him. They crowd the stairs and take their time going down them, you attempting to maneuver through them but it’s no use. Once you exit, you stand on your tippy toes and catch the tip of his black beanie. As you beeline towards him, he turns the corner and once you round it, you stop dead in your tracks.

He’s grinning as he wraps his arm over a girl’s shoulder, leaning down to press a kiss on her lips. It isn’t a quick kiss, it’s a deep one, his fingers coming up to her cheek to draw her in deeper. Something tumbles in your stomach, making you lean against the wall for support. You turn away, feeling like you’ve invaded his privacy and you really shouldn’t have seen that. You swallow the bile in your throat and head to the library.

Dominik is the first one you see in the study room, his head perking up as he spots you, “Hey.”

“Hey,” you exasperate.

His eyebrows pinch, “You okay?”

“Mm-hmm,” you say, avoiding his gaze. “Just motivating myself for Harvey’s party tonight.”

He chuckles, “He says it should be lowkey, just us.”

And whoever Trent is planning on inviting.

You gulp, “Mm-hmm.”

“You look like you’re going to puke,” he says, putting down his iPad and standing up. He grabs the bin and pushes it near you.

Before you can thank him or push it away, Trent walks in. And that’s it, you bend down and hurl into the bin.

“Oh my god,” Dominik yelps. “Maybe you shouldn’t go to the party tonight.”

Trent doesn’t say a word as he sits down, you take the napkin Dominik pulled out of his bag. You wipe your face, feeling flushed and dizzy.

“I’m going to go home.”

“Do you want me to walk you?” Dominik asks.

“Uh—”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Trent says, slouching down in his seat as he types on his phone. You glance at him and notice the tips of his fingers are stained blue. You don’t question it as you get up to leave.

You can’t keep a secret. It was your biggest weakness, always making you physically ill. Trent was kissing one of those girl’s, her bestfriend oblivious that they were both going for the same guy. You had to either tell her or somehow forget about it.

Dominik huffs, closing his iPad and grabbing your backpack. He swings it over his shoulder and ushers you out of the room. Once the door closes, you blurt, “Trent was kissing her.”

“What?” Dominik asks.

“He kissed her. Her bestfriend has no idea.”

“Her bestfriend?”

“They’re both going for Trent!” You turn towards him and he’s blatantly confused, his lips part open.

“Okay, so what?”

“One of them is bound to get hurt.”

“Maybe they know,” Dominik sighs. “It’s not our business.”

“But tonight, he’s bringing them both.”

He walks you into the lift, “And? Trent can handle his own business. If he’s going for a pair of bestfriends, let him.”

“I’m breaking girl code,” you murmur, letting your head fall dramatically against the lift’s walls.

Dominik rolls his eyes, “You don’t even know them.”

“But I know it’s happening.”

Dominik sighs, letting the conversation die out. He walks you back to your apartment, making sure you eat something before he goes next door to his own bedroom.

-

Tara has you out of the apartment before you can even protest. Dominik’s already too buzzed to tell you to go back home, instead he’s pouring you a shot glass. Even though you know alcohol wouldn’t calm your nerves down, you down it anyway. It burns your throat that you turn away from the island, accidentally bumping into someone.

Looking up, Trent wears a weary smile as he looks down at you. His beanie is long gone, but so are his locs. Instead his hair is cut short, super short that you blink repeatedly at it, just to make sure your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you.

Before you can say something, he looks away and walks past you. You don’t realize his arm is clutching onto someone else, the girl from earlier following closely behind him.

Dominik coughs and you face him, he shakes his head rapidly. His cheeks flush red as he starts choking.

“Jesus, Domi.”

“What?” he rasps, bending down to catch his breath. You rub his back as your gaze finds Trent. Trent brings a brown bottle of beer to his lips, his gaze flickering up at you. “You aren’t the only one who lost a boyfriend today.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend to lose—wait what?” you pick up Dominik by his shoulder. His eyes are brimmed red, his cheeks still beet red. “What happened with you and Ibou?”

He shrugs, “He said he wants a break.”

“What?”

He looks down at his shot glasses, pouring another round of whiskey into them, “And it makes sense why you threw up, you like Trent.”

“No I don’t,” you deny, your eyes finding Trent again, hoping he couldn’t hear Dominik. Trent is too submersed into conversation to notice.

He nods, handing you the glass, “Don’t deny it, it’s obvious the more I realize it. Always has been.”

He can’t be right. Whatever chance Trent had was ruined the day he messed up your presentation. He made you sob in the girls’ restroom, there was no way you could have a crush on him.

But your stomach tumbling earlier today. The burn of your neck and cheeks. And the way your chest caved in so deep that it felt like you were choking—no.

It didn’t help that Dominik had known you so well. He was the first friend you made on campus and he had always had a knack for reading you. He ended up meeting Trent through his football team, but you had already known of Trent.

“See,” Dominik murmurs, pointing out the horror etched across your face. “He’s cute, he’s just an asshole.”

“No, Dominik, you’re wrong.”

He purses his lips, face growing somber, “I wish I was, just so I didn’t have to see the disappointment on your face. Let’s just forget about it. Ibou is supposed to come and I don’t know…I might escape to your apartment to be honest.”

“Go for it,” you mumble, tearing your eyes away from Trent and tilting your head back as you gulp down the shot. Dominik is quick to pour another, and Jesus, how many were you and him going to have back to back?

Once the both of you drink the third shot, you take the bottle away from his tight grip. The party had barely got rowdy thirty minutes ago and you had maybe fifteen minutes before you couldn’t see straight. Drinking with Dominik was never a smart idea and you were going to regret it soon.

Tara drags you and Dominik away from the island to the beer pong table. Trent stands behind you, the girl—and her bestfriend—beside him. Dominik hums in your ear, before grabbing a cup and drinking the beer.

“Dominik!” Jude yells and Dominik apologizes, a sloppy grin forming.

“You two drink too much already?” Trent butts his head between the two of you, Dominik murmuring in Hungarian as he gets startled—or annoyed—with Trent’s voice.

You look away, crossing your arms as Tara and Veronica start the round of beer pong.

Trent’s presence behind you makes you feel hot, as if you can feel his breath on your exposed shoulder. And when you miss your first shot, he doesn’t let his presence go unnoticed, “You can’t be that drunk already.”

“Shut up,” you slur, jabbing him in his rib with your elbow. The white tee he wears hugs his biceps tight that you get distracted momentarily before Dominik pulls you back to your senses. He tosses the next ball and it lands in a cup.

As the game continues, Tara and Veronica don’t let up, making you and Dominik drink more cups of beer. Your head was already spinning, incoherent words flying past your lips as you tried to distract Tara and Veronica.

Once you two lose, Dominik sits down on the couch and you groan, finding yourself in the kitchen and searching through their fridge for a bottle of water.

“What are you looking for?” Trent asks behind you, his arms folded.

“Why do you have so many eggs?” your brows furrow as you stare at the drawer filled with eggs.

“Do you need water?”

“Yeah,” you stand up, feeling the weight of the world around your head, and then you bump your head against the top of the fridge. Before you can tumble, Trent wraps his arms around your waist.

“Okay, let’s sit you down, yeah?” He ushers you to a chair and you groan, your head pounding from the sudden hit. The wave of pain seemed to only exacerbate your nausea. Your cheeks feel hot as you close your eyes to make the room stop spinning.

Trent uncaps the water and taps your elbow. You hold your hand out, “Hold on.”

“Do you need to throw up?”

“Just shut up.”

He sighs, “C’mon.” He bends down to hoist you up from your waist, ushering you into their guest restroom that was a few steps away. He locks the door and leans you against the wall. He leans against the door, watching you carefully.

“Ibou and Dominik broke up,” you slur. Here go you spilling secrets that weren’t yours to tell. “Fuck you weren’t supposed to know that.”

He nods, “It’s okay, I already knew.”

Thank God.

“And I saw you kissing that girl—ugh—what was her name, Clare? Clarissa?”

He furrows his eyebrows, crossing his arms. Your eyes selfishly land on his bulging biceps. He coughs, “Anything else you want to spit out?”

“I know you have my blue pen. And I’m really fucking drunk right now.”

Trent fights off a chuckle, it was a sight to see you flushed from alcohol. You rarely get super drunk and this seems to be the night you are going to—or already were. Your eyes are more hooded than usual, hair a bit out of place, and your face is sticky.

“Yeah, you are really drunk,” he chuckles.

“Why are you laughing? It’s not funny,” you groan. “My head, it feels so heavy and then the fucking fridge—”

Trent bursts into another loud laugh, “I’m sorry, it’s just, I haven’t seen you like this since last year.”

“I didn’t plan on it, Dominik kept pouring shots and then we sucked at beer pong.”

Trent shakes his head, “No, you sucked. He was pretty good.”

“I sucked,” you throw your hands up in surrender but it only makes you feel more unbalanced that you wobble.

Trent reaches out for you, “Woah.”

He brings his head away from yours, his lips shiny with saliva as he peers down at you. Your hands are clutching onto his arms to regain your balance and god when did his arms feel so strong? And those eyelashes, were they always this long?

“You okay?” he whispers. His voice is so soft that it makes you close your eyes, you wanting to desperately lean forward against him to settle the spins.

You are too drunk for this. Instead, you fall back onto the wall and try to stand against it as straight as possible.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

He lets go of you and hands you the water bottle, “Drink up.”

Bile teases along your throat that it hurts swallowing but you continue on, feeling the bottle crush beneath your grip. Trent watching you gulp down the water doesn’t make the room any less stuffy or hot.

“You’re drunk,” he repeats, “so you won’t remember any of this in the morning?”

You let out a dry chuckle, “Probably not, to be honest. Being in a small restroom with you, god I hope not.”

Something flickers across Trent’s eyes but it’s gone within a heartbeat as he says coldly, “Yeah, I wouldn’t want to remember this either.”

“Why aren’t you with Clarissa and her bestfriend?”

“Because I’m here taking care of you being a sloppy drunk,” he spits.

“I can handle myself, I was doing just fine until you startled me and made me hit my head.”

Trent’s nostrils flare, his jaw clenching, “I don’t understand you.”

“Save your monologue, I won’t remember this and I really want to remember the way you look like you’re about to lose it,” you say monotonously, finishing the last bit of water.

Trent grits his teeth, “Can you stop being an ass for five minutes?”

“Timer starts now.”

“Why do Clarissa and Diane bother you so much?”

“Because they’re bestfriends, that’s cruel, Trent,” you say. “They have no idea you’re playing them both. I shouldn’t be surprised after you humiliated me in front of everyone in class, but that’s cruel. And you say you’re sorry but you’re doing the same thing.”

Trent’s eyebrows crease, “It’s none of your business.”

“It’s not, but you’re an awful person. And it just makes me look at you differently. If the presentation didn’t prove you to be the biggest jackass at this uni, that does.”

“What you think of me doesn’t matter to me.” Trent snarls, looking around the restroom but only faces the mirror, where he immediately darts his eyes away from his reflection. “You made it out to be that I was playing them both, I’m not.”

You gawk, “You were right, I am too drunk for this.” You step to leave the restroom but he stops you, your head bumping into his chest that you stumble back against the wall where you were. “So what, I’m wrong and you’re only going for Clarissa? You know what, you’re right again, it’s none of my business and I’m not about to sit here and try to get it right because I won’t remember this in the morning. I’ll still think of you the same.”

“I like you,” he blurts out.

“What?”

He looks…flushed? Shocked? His eyes wide and his lips part as if he can’t believe what he just said, “Nothing. I just wanted you to stop talking.”

Silence falls between the two of you as he scratches the nape of his neck. He chews on his bottom lip anxiously. You couldn’t have heard him right. Surely the alcohol was seeping deep into you that comprehending words was much more of a task than before.

“Why did you cut your hair?” you ask quietly. Your gaze shifts to his chest, it’s heaving rapidly.

He shrugs, “Just wanted a change.”

“Oh, okay. Cool.”

“Do you like it?” He glances at the mirror and pats the back of it down.

Instead of answering, your jumbled mind reads his expression. He’s looking away from you but he’s expecting an answer, looking shy. His hands are still patting misplaced curls back into place but nothing is out of place. He waits patiently for your answer, but didn’t he say that it didn’t matter what you thought of him?

“Didn’t even recognize you.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug. He looks at you and his eyes urge for you to continue. “I guess good, but then I recognized you and it became bad.”

His eyes look down briefly, “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

“Yeah yeah,” you grumble, having heard those same words over and over again.

“I want to show you something in my bedroom.”

Your brows furrow, “I’m drunk, I’m not having sex with you.”

His mouth drops, “No! That’s not what I meant.”

“I would hope not,” you gag as the image of you two pops up in your head. “I don’t think I’d want to remember that anyway, good thing I wouldn’t.”

Trent’s flustered state doesn’t go away as he rambles, “I made you something.”

“If I go upstairs, you might have to carry me down.”

“Okay,” he shrugs, holding out his hand. “Come on.”

You hesitate, “Won’t your girls get mad?”

He rolls his eyes, “They aren’t my girls. Come on.”

You clasp your hand into his but the second he pulls you, you stumble into chest. He places his free hand on your waist and helps you out of the restroom.

Dominik stands with a drunken smile perched against the wall beside the restroom, “Oh, I’m glad you two worked out.” He sends you a wink before taking another swig of his drink.

You turn back to Trent, “Make sure he ends up in his bed tonight.”

“I know,” he nods, tapping your hip so that you can lead the way. Despite your few stumbles and the death stares from the pair of bestfriends, you make it to the staircase. Trent guides you upstairs with his hand pressed against your back.

Your head still felt like it was spinning but the bottle of water helped. You just needed some kind of bread, or crackers, something.

You turn back to Trent, he stops abruptly and bends down to your ear, “What?”

“Do you have food? Water and bread?”

“Bread?” He scrunches his eyebrows, his hand becoming more heavy on your back.

“It helps with alcohol.”

He blows a raspberry, “I’ll get it for you once we get to my room.”

“Okay, thank you.” You continue up the narrow stairs, cursing as you trip over a step. Trent hoists you up quickly, his hands never leaving your waist, even after your shirt lifted and he was now touching bare skin. His fingers stung, firm as they dug into you.

Once you reach his bedroom, you plop down on the floor and lean against his bed and bed frame. He leaves to get you bread and water and you peek around his room. Not much has changed since you had last been in it. There’s a couple of books piled on his nightstand, a hoodie loosely thrown over his desk chair, and a floor lamp lighting up the room.

You expect him to return with a bottle and maybe three slices of bread, but instead he returns with a six-pack of water bottles and an entire loaf of bread. You selfishly gawk at his biceps but then feel your eyes well up with tears.

“Are you crying?” he scowls, getting onto his knees and prying open the six-pack. He then unties the bread and faces it towards you.

“You brought me a whole loaf?” Your voice trembles as you tear a piece off and eat it. Your jaw wobbles as more tears spill out, a much harder cry than you expected.

“It’s just bread…” he mumbles, sitting next to you and hesitating to look at you. He rests his hands over his perched knees while you stuff your face with the bread. A small smile teeters against his lips.

“You’re so sweet.”

“You just said I was an awful person.”

“You do awful things,” you correct.

“Wouldn’t I still be awful then?”

You nod through tears, not wanting to debate the logistics of your drunk mind because you knew somehow you’d convince yourself to see him through rose-colored glasses. You’d circle back to him being a “sweet” guy because deep down you know he is, but sometimes he does things that you don’t understand—much less he.

He shuffles up to his feet, “Let me show you what I made.”

You shake his head, “Don’t. I won’t remember.”

Trent looks back at you, his piercing brown eyes growing more gentle as he looks back at you. “Maybe that’s a good thing.”

“I want to,” you confess.

He swallows, his hand on the edge of his dresser, “You’d hate it if you were sober.”

“No I wouldn’t,” you say muffled, still chewing on bread. Being thirsty and hungry, this bread tasted like the best entree.

He nods persistently, “You’d get upset that I wasted your pen. Say something about it being a good pen, probably your last because you only ever have one pen on your person. And then you’d probably throw it at me.”

You chuckle, “That does sound like me.”

He doesn’t laugh, only purses his lips as he opens his top drawer. He pulls out two things, turning his back to you before sitting back down beside you with haste.

Your head still felt a bit heavy, but with you sitting and getting hydrated, it felt a lot better. Maybe you wouldn’t wake up in the morning with a throbbing headache, and maybe you barely missed your limit before blacking out and remembering nothing.

“Here,” he says sheepishly. He pulls out a papered flower, the petals scribbled with blue ink. The flower is so elaborate with layers of petals—it was a dahlia. It must have taken Trent hours to cut the pieces into the right shape and then scribble them all blue. You knew he had to color them blue afterward because of the way the scribbles lined up, all pointing to the apex of the petal.

“Oh my god,” you gasp, twisting the dahlia from its makeshift stem.

He pulls out what he hides from his waist, “I had to buy more blue pens, thought you’d want the extras.”

The blue pens are tied together with a white ribbon, a little bow in the center. They’re in a makeshift bouquet, baby’s-breath tucked in the gaps.

“Okay now I’m really about to cry and not because I’m drunk,” you say, setting down the dahlia and wiping away the tears that cascade.

Trent’s jaw drops, “You aren’t drunk?”

“I’m getting sober,” you sob. Somehow knowing Trent wanted to show you what he made you while you were drunk and couldn’t remember doesn’t quiet the ache in your chest. Why didn’t he want to show you while you were sober? Why didn’t he want you to remember? It would’ve helped the way you see him, not as the cold-hearted persona he puts out.

Trent stays quiet as his hands twirl around the bouquet of pens. You were going to remember everything in the morning.

“It doesn’t make sense,” you whisper through your cries.

Trent looks at you, his eyes frantic, his throat bobbing as he swallows.

“You were kissing Clarissa after you made me this,” you pick up the dahlia. “Why would you do that to her? To me?”

He shakes his head, “It’s just a flower.”

“Trent, this is—elaborate. This is detailed. It’s beautiful, not something you can make within an hour. Is that why you were late to class? Why you looked so tired?”

He gulps down, “I had gotten a haircut, that took a couple of hours and then I still had to write the essay—”

“Why are you lying?” you look at him and he darts away. His jaw tenses as his hands tighten around his knees. “You didn’t write the paper yesterday. You already had it done before you asked me for the pen. You never wait until the last minute to do an assignment. You got a haircut and then you made this, tell me I’m wrong.”

A heavy exhale leaves his nose as he glances at you, “You’re right.”

As another sob escapes you, Trent’s breathing seems to become difficult. He shuffles his legs around until they’re outstretched in front of him.

You shake your head, “God I’m so fucking stupid. You are an awful person, and I should’ve never thought you were any different.”

Trent was going to bask you in gifts as if he wasn’t making out with an entire girl after giving you the cold shoulder the same day. He spent hours making and buying you something—and those pens weren’t cheap—just to screw around with someone else.

As you attempt to stand up, Trent grabs your wrist, “Wait, let me explain.”

“How do you explain that, Trent?” you ask, almost yelling. You snap your wrist out of his grip and gulp half a bottle of water.

“Just listen to me,” he stands up, pulling his shirt down. “I convinced myself it was stupid. You fucking hate me. Why would you forgive me after all that I’ve done to you? I wasted your pen and then bought you more to replace them when all you wanted was your pen. You didn’t want my flower or more pens, just like how you didn’t want my apologies after ruining your presentation. It was a joke gone too far and I get that, but I didn’t think it would hurt you. I didn’t know it would bring your grade down. I know you’re smart, I knew you’d know what to say, but fuck I didn’t know our professor was going to grade the PowerPoint so hard. I tried to tell him that I did it, but all he did was bring my grade down too, but I maintained my A. I care about you, I do, and I’m sorry for hurting you.”

You shake your head, even though you were getting sober his words were too much to digest especially when he spoke way too fast to keep you from leaving.

“Trent,” you rub your forehead. “Even if all that is true, that doesn’t explain Clarissa.”

He holds out his hand in front of you as if you are going to dash out his room. “I was distracting myself from hurting you. Yeah, I’m hurting her too. I’m not proud of it, but—I can’t hurt you more than what I already have.”

“Yeah,” you nod tiredly. “You fucked up really bad.”

You make your way to his door but he grabs a hold of your arm, physically pleading you to stay and listen to him. “Wait, okay, please—”

“You wanted to give me these when I wouldn’t remember. As if I wouldn’t realize it was from you?”

Trent nods, “I know you would’ve, but it would’ve been different with you confronting me. I could’ve lied and said it was from Dominik or something—”

“God, you and your lies,” you shake your head. “Just fucking stop. I’m not going to listen to you if you keep fucking lying, I’m done with this.”

“I said ‘could’ve,’” he says curtly. “I’m being honest. Fuck,” he rasps, pulling the ends of his curls as if he still has his locs. “I like you, stupidly and selfishly so. The only reason I went for Clarissa is because I know you don’t like me back and I’ve been trying to move on. But it’s hard when we’re in the same friend group, when I see you in class, and then get paired with you. It doesn’t help that Dominik is constantly in my ear talking about what a screw up I am because I’m not doing this right. But fuck, do you know how much it hurt for you to tell me we aren’t friends? That you don’t even see me as a friend? I made the dahlia as a gift to give to you as a friend but fuck—” He stops himself and runs his hands over his short curls.

He shakes his head, “I scrolled through your Insta and for the first time realized how I’m cropped out of your posts or barely there. Even before I ruined your presentation, you’ve always hated me. I thought we were bantering, I thought you knew I viewed you as my friend and me teasing you about grades was friendly fire. We’re both competitive, but I thought you knew I cared about you. I thought it was so obvious. After I scrolled through your Insta, I didn’t want to give you the dahlia or pens back. I thought it best to forget about it.”

You bite onto your tongue digesting his words. He has always been a rambler, especially when he was desperate and watching him nervously shift the weight of his body between his feet, the way he tugged his hair, or him constantly licking and biting his lip between pauses, it hurt seeing him like this. He wasn’t prepared to confess his feelings or his intentions, just spewing his thoughts without a blueprint. It was a mess.

He was a mess.

“Trent,” you sigh. “Do you want to talk it out or do you want us to just talk tomorrow morning? After we’ve both gotten rest.”

He scratches his face, “I don’t think I’m going to get any sleep after this.”

You sure wouldn’t either.

You nod, moving the hoodie from his desk chair to his desk before sitting in it. “Okay, then let’s talk. The only reason I cropped you out of my pictures is because you aren’t much of a social media person. You always seem reluctant to take photos, never really wanting to be in them, and posting you after you didn’t want to be in the photo in the first place seemed like I was throwing you under the bus.”

Trent looks down but the side of his lip curls up, “It’s okay to post me.”

“Okay,” your tired voice comes out as a whisper. “I know us competing in class was always friendly but you really messed up with ruining my presentation. I know you are sorry about it, I get it, it just made me view you differently. Not as my friend because friends don’t hurt each other, but obviously we aren’t strangers. I forgive you for my presentation and grade, there’s nothing we can do at this point and it makes me feel a little better that you tried to help me despite failing. So we’re friends, okay? Friends.”

You hold out your hand for Trent, he reluctantly grabs it and gives your hand a weak shake. His thumb strokes your knuckles before he lets go.

“I like you,” you admit. “I like you too, but you have a lot of redeeming to do because I’m not sure if I can ever get the image of you kissing Clarissa out of my head. And you have a lot to sort out with her.”

He nods, “Mm-hmm, I know. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, I know,” you sigh.

Trent seems distraught enough. He didn't need any more of his wrongdoings pointed out. He understood the message, even if he had gone all about this wrong.

“I think we both need to stop assuming stuff for each other. Like me hating you. Hate is strong, Trent, maybe a strong dislike but that was before this conversation,” you chuckle. “And I shouldn’t have assumed you were messing with both Clarissa and Diane.”

He nods, standing upright against his dresser, “Okay. We’re good.”

-

The next morning, Tara, Veronica, and you head over to the boy’s apartment to help them clean. Dominik’s wearing sunglasses, his curls tousled as you sit down next to him on the couch.

He barely moves his head in your direction, “Morning.”

“It’s noon,” you chuckle.

“I threw up in Trent’s bathroom when he walked you next door,” he says. “He came back pissed.”

“Did you forget where your room was?” you laugh. Trent enters the livingroom, the mop in his hand as he sees the two of you settled on the couch. His lips simper as he places the mop into the sink and then sits down in the space next to you.

Dominik coughs, “No. I just wanted to be with you and him, but I didn’t realize you both left. And then it just came out.”

“You missed the loo, you idiot,” Trent replies.

Dominik waves his hand, “How was I supposed to know the lid was closed?”

Trent rolls his eyes, bumping into your shoulder, “Hi.”

“Hey,” you smile. He seems more lively than before, his teeth breaking through his lips as he smiles bashfully. His eyes scan your face and it makes your cheeks warm. You turn away, looking towards Dominik, “Well, it seems like you have a long day ahead.”

You tap on Dominik’s knee and he groans. You get up and look back at Trent, “Need help with anything?”

“Still cleaning my bathroom,” he stands up. The loose gray zip up he has on flaps open revealing his white shirt underneath.

You scrunch your nose, “You slept with his vomit on the floor?”

“He threw up a lot,” he groans, walking you up to his room. “I cleaned most of it but not a deep clean. And then forced him into his shower, but I had to stay with him because he kept crying about Ibou.”

“You’re such a nice friend,” you chuckle.

His eyes flicker away from you, “I’m not awful.”

“No, you aren’t,” you smile.

A moment of silence engulfs you both as you enter his bedroom, his sheets jostled around and his bathroom emitting cleaning fumes. You let out a cough, going to his window and propping it open.

He chuckles, “Yeah, I don’t think I was supposed to mix some of these.” As he points at the various bottles of cleaning supplies he’s opened, you let out a laugh. Your cheeks ache from smiling at his uncertain facial expression, as if he couldn’t have passed out from cleaning.

You glance down, “Oof, you are not.”

The two of you work in tandem quietly but also talk about various things. Trent even brings up the project the two of you were paired together for and hashes out the dates to work on it.

It was soothing to converse with him without feeling on edge as if he would say something to get under your skin. He wasn’t making any snarky remarks, only a few teasing words, but they were jokes, a goofy grin always following afterward.

“What?” you gasp.

He nods, he tosses a wipe into the bin, “You forced me into the restroom downstairs.”

“Why would I do that?”

“You were drunk,” he shrugs, a teasing smile teetering onto his lips. Last night wasn’t much of a blur, you remembered Trent and talking to him in his bedroom, but you didn’t remember how you got up there. The pen bouquet and dahlia were placed on your nightstand but you remembered him giving them to you.

You swipe at his chest, his jacket gone, “That’s such a lie.”

Trent bursts into a laugh, “You seriously don’t remember the restroom?”

“No, what did we kiss or something?” you quip but then palm your face. “Tell me we didn’t.”

He chuckles, “I think you wanted to.”

You laugh, feeling hot but not embarrassed, just nervous. Trent’s taunting gaze is unrelenting, the smile he hides by forcing his lips into a thin line. You chuckle, pushing his shoulder, “I don’t think so. I think I would’ve remembered you and Clarissa.”

Trent’s face simmers down as looks away, “I talked to her by the way. I apologized and told her the truth. She slapped me but—” you burst into a laugh while he rolls his eyes. “Don’t laugh, but yeah, I’m not going to be seeing her again—or Diane for that matter.”

“Good,” you nod. Even if he was doing it because he wanted to now focus on you after knowing you felt the same, it was good that he wasn’t going to be leading someone on when he didn’t feel the same for them.

“So,” he exhales, his chest bowing down as he looks at you, “can we hang out alone sometime? Doesn’t have to be anything big, maybe a walk around campus or coffee? I know I have a lot of making up to do with you, but I want us to be on the same page this time.”

You resist the urge to smile. Him taking care of Dominik last night stuck out to you the most. More than him bringing you water and bread to sober up. Dominik was too much of a heartbroken and vulnerable mess to handle himself, and after seeing just how much his vomit plastered on Trent’s walls, that was a big ask of him to deal with at three in the morning.

Trent was trying, flawed, but trying. You could work with that.

“Okay, we can grab coffee,” you smile. “But slow.”

He nods, “Okay.”

He breaks out into a smile as he pokes the broom against your shoulder. You let out a kiddish laugh, turning away from him to finish scrubbing the cabinets. Trent jabs your bent knee with his foot and you don’t catch yourself before you fall forward, your head hitting the cabinet.

“Oh shit,” he says, dropping down beside you and inspecting your forehead. Your head hitting the cabinet made the contact seem much more dramatic than what it really was, but Trent’s careful and concerned eyes only make you pretend it hurts more.

“Ow,” you feign, clutching the spot. He removes your hand gingerly, getting you to sit down on the floor. “I’m sorry. I’m already fucking this up, am I?” He suddenly leans forward and kisses the spot on your forehead, swiping his kiss over the spot with his thumb.

Your chest shakes as you laugh silently, him looking at you confused. Your silent laugh can be mistaken with a cry but he groans.

“You’re fine, aren’t you?” He stands up and holds out his hand.

“You looked so scared,” you tease, taking his hand and standing up.

He rolls his eyes, “That was loud.”

“The door was open a little,” you laugh. Your hand reaches out to grab a hold of his, “Thank you for checking out my forehead with your lips.”

“Ugh,” he flusters.

You give his hand a squeeze, “Thank you, Trent. You can kiss my forehead again.”

“No,” he moans dramatically, his eyes stopping at the spot on your forehead and then he gasps, “Oh my god, it’s already swollen.”

You turn around to face the mirror so fast that it gives you whiplash. His shit-eating grin is the only thing you see, your forehead unmarked. You scowl when you turn back towards him, not realizing just how close he stood in front of you.

He chuckles, leaning forward and pressing his lips chastly on your forehead, “You craving coffee?”

----

Note: I'll write a proper academic rivals to lovers eventually. I just got lost within the plot, too delirious to make it make sense LOL. 🫠🫠

[toruro]

hihi ok so i have a request

hear me out lol

so like svt caring for u /taking you home when u go out w friends to a gathering or something and accidentally eat an edible which has u on mars and u don’t know what to do

kinda funny, kinda soft, kinda idk srry

svt + when you're high

a/n: hi anon! i didn't write individual scenarios because i couldn't think of such different and long scenarios for all thirteen of them but i wrote a few and assigned members to them, so i hope that works! anyways i LOVED this prompt LFMAO? this lwk reminds me of the first time i had an edible and i was like.., ok this isn't working and then i ate more and then it felt like i elevated to the subspace so ngl all of these might just be self inserts.

tags/warnings: recreational marijuana use

w/c: 1.1k

seungcheol, wonwoo, jihoon

he notices you cuddle closer to his side as you and your guys' friends gather by the fireplace, but doesn't think anything of it until he hears you giggling a little too much at a joke he thinks you normally wouldn't find very funny. he’d look down at you and when you look up at him with those dopey eyes he knows something’s up. looking down at the plate on your lap his eyes would widen as he realizes that you ate the edibles. he’d curse himself for not letting you know earlier that they were edibles but realizes that there’s no point in sulking over that now. he would definitely excuse the both of you and take you home but as he tries to get you into the car you’d be incredibly stubborn. “baby get into the car.” you’d literally stomp your feet and shake your head. “no!” he would get slightly irritated, but the look on your face is just so cute that he’s finding it difficult to stay strict. “baby please.” you’d go back and forth for ages, and at some point he thinks he might pull out his hair. safe to say that the next time you’re out with friend, he keeps a close eye on you.

jeonghan, minghao, vernon, chan

he notices you're high right away because you're making zero fucking sense when you speak. like you'll be talking, acting like everything's normal, but then he'd actually listen to what you're saying and you would just be...saying words, not sentences. he would kind of go blank for a second wondering when the hell this happened because you didn't mention anything about wanting to get high tonight, but when he notices the empty plate with a few brownie crumbs left in your hand, he'd put two and two together and figure that you hadn't done this intentionally. he would be slightly upset that no one (himself included) let you know that they were edibles, frowning to himself as he dragged you to the car. you'd get in obediently, still running off your mouth with what nonsense you were going on about earlier, and at some point while driving home, he just really needs you to shut up so he can focus on the gps. he'd pull over so he can reach over to hold your hand, pleading, "babe, please, i love you but i really need you to be quiet. i can't focus on the road." your eyes would well up with tears and he winces as he realizes that he might have just set off a ticking bomb. "you don't wanna hear me talk?" you'd ask quietly voice wavering as he sighs. he'd spend another 15 minutes just trying to convince you that he loves talking to you, he just doesn't want to two of you to die from a car crash.

joshua, jun, mingyu

he's be slightly confused when you go up to him, wide-eyed asking him if he thinks you look pretty tonight because while he knows you love words of affirmation, you usually don't ask for it in social settings. when he'd answer, "of course i think you look pretty," you'd pout and huff and then repeat the question. he'd look at you confused, asking you if you're okay because you're usually not like this. his eyes would flicker around you and your surroundings and that's when he sees the little candy bag that definitely wasn't filled with normal gummies in them. literally will snatch the bag away from you, groaning when he sees it empty. assuming the worst, he would excuse the two of you and take you to the bathroom to talk to you. "how many d'you eat?" you'd give him a funny look. "how many of what?" you'd look so innocent he wants to melt, but he holds up his firm exterior. "the gummies, baby, how many?" you tap your chin funnily before saying, "maybe...one—no wait, like five—honestly i don't know! they were kinda yummy." he sighs, "baby they were edibles." you look at him kind of dumbly. "and? they tasted good." he'd just look at you for a few moments trying to decide what to do with you before piling you into his car to take you home as you run off his ears about how much you love cookies. he wouldn't have the heart to tell you to shut up, because he honestly finds it super cute, but he'd also try his best to keep an eye on you constantly.

soonyoung, dokyeom, seungkwan

he's the life of the party and he honestly thrives in crowds, so when you feel yourself swaying side to side a little, you aren't sure if you should go up to him and interrupt whatever he's got going on, or just sit tight and hope for the best. of course, right now, you aren't in your right mind and the thought of him being annoyed with you for interrupting him sends you spiraling, although you know it's a very unlikely situation. you kind of just sit in the corner and talk with one of your friends until she has to leave and you start feeling unbearably lonely and finally end up marching up to your boyfriend who's having a conversation with a group. when he notices you by his side, he greets you with a smile, "hey baby." wrapping an arm around you, you try to not get lost in the racing thoughts of your mind, saying, "can we go?" he turns to look at you, a little confused. "is everything alright?" your breath would hitch and you'd feel tears well up in your eyes for no reason. you can't really control it, but him wouldn't understand what's going on and be concerned. "are you mad at me?" you blurt out, not being able to stop yourself. "no—babe, what's going on?" he'd ask, pulling you away from the group to talk to you in a hallway. "baby," you'd whine, "i think i ate an edible and now i don't know what to do." his gaze would soften and he'd laugh a little at your tears—he's not laughing at your sorrow, he just knows that you get emotional when you're high and that this wasn't what he was expecting. "okay baby," he says, taking your hand, "let's go." you turn to look at the other people, "but what about your frie—" he cuts you off, "they don't matter. all i care about right now is you."

[chaethewriter]

Voices Of The Nights

(OPLA!) RORONOA ZORO X READER

A/N: I wrote this for a writing assignment— but I imagined it was Zoro while writing this. Might not be accurate to lore but enjoy!!

Word count: 1,8K

she/her pronouns, fluff, enemies to lovers?

This was the worst idea ever. Taking on a job with this asshole was one thing, but also sharing a room with him after spending an entire day of misfortune was another. Everything about him annoyed her. An entire day of his mocking and insults was enough– getting on her nerves until a vein on her forehead was close to bursting. She was looking forward to an entire night on her own, in her own space, without seeing that menace of a swordsman for even five hours.

Was that too much to ask for?

Just peace and quiet?

Whatever.

12:00 am. Her gaze moved to the way his body stumbled through the hallway. It made her blood boil. He had blocked an attack to save her, resulting in a large cut from his left shoulder to his abdomen. His clothes were all torn apart from the sharp of the weapon cutting through his skin. It smelled like iron. The hallways were starting to reek of it. Not surprising with the way the blood gushed out of his wounds like a waterfall. He was far worse off than her, after all.

But why did he do it?

Why did he save her?

Did he think of her as weak?

The way his hand shook as he pushed the key into its lock annoyed her. Everything about him annoyed her. She locked the door after she entered after him, her eyes following his movements, his blood basically leaking everywhere and covering the hotel's furniture.

"Stay on the floor. You're gushing blood everywhere." She threw her satchel from her shoulder as she pulled at his arm to stop him from falling into the comfort of the bed. The pull was so hard, resulting in him falling on his back on the cold hard floor. He hissed out a cuss her way, but she ignored it as she basically gripped onto his top and ripped it in half. Revealing his torso, she had to fight the blush that was tempted to show itself.

"Like what you see? Take a picture it lasts longer... argh fuck.." his face was husky as he spoke, soon growing horse and not soon after coughing fit leaving his throat.

"That's what you get for being annoying, now hold still," her hand made way to his chest, touching around the area as her other hand dug into her satchel. Her fingers danced around his pecs. Only to see where it hurt, of course. No other reason. Her fingers lingered a little too long against his skin, and he seemed to notice the gesture. His lips parted as to say something, but she shut him up by pushing a cloth into his mouth.

"This is going to hurt, big boy.." That wasn't a lie. It's going to hurt like shit. And that much was clear from the way he groaned and moved when the alcohol hit his wounds. He had a hard time staying still, moving on top of his lap to keep him down, "Aren't you used to alcohol in your system? Stay still, you're annoying. I'm trying to be gentle." And that also wasn't a lie, as she carefully tended to his wounds– her touches soft on his skin.

2:30am. He was passed out on the bed, the blood that pooled under him seeping into the wooden floor and drying into his skin. Bandages securely wrapped around his torso with the blanket keeping his warm. It's drying up. They will notice. The water is no use.

How to clean this mess?

At least he will be fine.. her eyes looked from the now red cloth she tried to rub the blood with to the unconcious man on the bed. She huffed out in annoyance.

Why did he need to be such a drag?

Always causing problems for her. Yet she would always be ready to care for him.

Why did she even bother?

She didn't understand how she felt. She walked from the bathroom to the bedroom a few more times with old cloths in hand, wetting them and putting them down on the floor– making her way to his bedside. She took a seat on the bed, more like leaning since she barely had any space to properly sit down.

"Why did you block that attack, stupid? Now I need to take care of you. It's all just a pain in the ass!" Her lip shivered as her hand made its way to his torso, pressing around on the bandages to feel if they're still secure, "wake up, you're not weak, are you? You're delaying our mission..!"

That's just it, right? It's all about the mission. It always was. But her eyes said something else, as they softened everytime she glanced his way. Even if she didn't notice it herself.

4:00 am. She was sat on the floor, her back leaned against the side of the bed– that if she looked to the right, he would be in her sight. Not that she would want to. Only glancing his way to see if he was still breathing. At least four times every ten minutes. Just the right amount of times to check.

That wasn't weird at all.

She just had to make sure he wouldn't leave her here all alone on this mission. Occasionally checking on his wounds to see how the wounds were healing, still telling herself she doesn't care and that she will never care. And so she sat, sitting and waiting wide awake– secretly praying to the gods that he would wake up.

In the meantime she couldn't fall asleep.

She wouldn't.

Not with him unable to defend himself. She didn't want them to judge her for being weak, which is stupid since it's his own fault for bleeding out enough liquid to drown the lands. He would flinch from time to time, the bed creaking underneath him as she felt it dip against her back. She would turn around in an instance, her eyes widening as she slightly shook his arm– but to no avail.

8:00 am. Her eyes were stone cold, staring at the wall in front of her. The same wall she had been staring at for the past hours. If you would cover her eyes and ask her what her surroundings looked like, she could tell you in an instance. Sitting cross-legged with his precious sword in her hands, keeping it safe until he woke up. Her grip was tight, fists balled up into the material, ready to pull the blade out of its sheath. Her head would slowly roll back, finding comfort for her neck as her eyes would flutter shut– this wouldn't last long as she would jolt awake.

She had no idea how much time went by, not until the sun shone bright in her eyes and a voice whispered in her ear, hot breath tickling her skin, "been waiting for me, pretty girl?"

The hairs stood straight as her eyes widened, turning around and basically knocking the handle of his own sword into his face.

He groaned loudly, immediately falling back onto the bed with a loud cough, "what the hell was that for!?" She watched him with a shocked face, dropping the sword (not without him scolding her how she had to be careful with that) to grab at his shoulders, "you can't just- just up and go ahead and whisper like that in my ear?!?!?" She was basically burning up, face growing red.

The heat was radiating off her. Incredibly flustered and speechless, she went and smacked him on his torso, right on his healing injury. "Why did you block that attack for me, you asshole?!" She basically screamed into his face, eyes teary (from exhaustion, of course) as she remained eye contact with him.

He just looked up at her while covering his chest with his hand, an attempt to relieve the stinging caused by her slap. But he didn't answer. He kept his mouth shut and stared into her eyes. This made her blood boil even more, but she didn't know the exact reason. "Answer me!! Don't just shut up like a coward! You blocked me from an axe attack, so act like the man you think you are!"

Was she even making sense?

Calling him names to convince herself that she could care less about him.

Calling him names to make it sound like she doesn't care about him.

Calling him names all along to try and create enough distance to not come to terms with her feelings.

Her true feelings.

"You're so fucking stupid! Mindlessly jumping in front of weapons like you're made of steel?!? Is that head of yours empty?!" She bumped her fist into his head, punching his temple to see if it sounded as hollow as she thought.

"Cut that out." He grabbed her wrist to stop him from knocking at his face, also using it as leverage to pull her on top of him. She quickly put her hands on the bed, on either side of his face, careful not to wound him any further than he already is.

"You're such a nuisance, running that pretty little mouth." If it was possible, her cheeks grew even redder at that statement, "w-well! You're at fault here! Always commenting on anything I do! Then throwing yourself in front of me?! Do you think I'm weak?! Is that it! That's what you think, right?!" She leaned in closer to him, their noses touching as her voice grew louder by the second.

The thought of him thinking she's weak upset her.

Didn't she show how capable she was?

What more could she do?

"That's not it, it's-" but she cut him off, like she did too often. "Then tell me! Why do you mock me? Make fun of me everyday? Think I can't protect myself? Why are you pulling at my heartstrings! It hurts, you know?!"

He was right.

She ran her mouth too often. And he had to shut her up by putting his hand on the back of her head– at least he tried to with the pain shooting through his entire body and pushing his mouth into hers. Sharing a kiss as the sun illuminated their faces.

Let me know what you thought with a comment! <3 thank you sm for reading!

[freeuselandonorris]

i wish you would write a fic featuring lando saying 'thank you' just like in the clip you just posted 😵‍💫

hi anon! excellent prompt. (as a reminder, anon is referring to this video of lando in subspace during neck training).

i watched loads of max and lando's streams from when they lived together while i was in bed with flu last week and i'm so fascinated by how fucking rude lando is at times and how patiently max puts up with it.

lando norris/max fewtrell, explicit. contains light impact play (spanking).

They’d never talked about it. It wasn’t like Lando had ever asked for it, never come right out and said hey Max, do you think you could spank me until your hand’s hurting and my arse cheeks are bright red? But then, he’d never asked Max to fuck him either, and they’d done plenty of that over the last few months.

It wasn’t a regular occurrence, the fucking. 

Other stuff, sure. Max had given and received more handjobs over since he’d moved in with Lando than he’d had hot dinners. They’d watched porn together, Max ignoring the on-screen action in favour of watching the way Lando’s face scrunched up before he came, like he was about to burst into tears. He’d sucked Lando off a few times, clumsy and inexperienced, and sunk his own cock into the wet heat of Lando’s throat a few times too. But Lando was a bit funny about fucking. Squeamish. Afraid of anything that might embarrass him. So it was on his terms, which was fair enough because Max was fairly certain he wasn’t into the idea of having anything stuck up his hole any time soon either, so who was he to judge? 

But God, the feeling of it. Tight and hot and sucking, like Lando’s body was trying to drag him further inside. It made Max want to spin it out, make it last longer – he was in no hurry to come, not when it felt so good to hold Lando loosely by the hips and watch the muscles shifting in his back as he squirmed, pulling him back against his hips in slow, shallow thrusts. He could’ve done it all day.

Except Lando was fucking the world’s biggest spoiled brat, and couldn’t just let Max do it his way. Even though Max would treat him right, make it good, make it last. Had to try and play backseat driver, even when he was on his hands and knees. 

“Fucking hurry up,” he whined, trying to shove his hips back, impale himself faster and harder. “Why are you being so slow?” 

Because I might not get to feel this again any time soon, Max thought but didn’t say, and ground his teeth. 

“Shut up,” he said instead, although he did speed up the pace of his thrusts, just a bit. “Not everything’s a fucking race.”

Lando laughed, breathless and shuddery, in a way that went right through his body and into Max’s dick. “That’s your problem, mate, you think that’s true.”

Which was a low fucking blow by anyone’s standards, given the circumstances, never mind whether he was balls deep in Lando or not. Max knew when he was being baited. Instead of rising to it and fucking Lando harder, faster, like he wanted, he stilled his hips entirely. 

“Bob,” he said, and raised his right hand, lining it up. “You need to learn some fucking manners.”

He brought his hand down onto the meat of Lando’s right cheek with a resounding crack, and Lando shrieked and jolted and clenched around Max’s dick so hard he thought he might come on the spot.

The skin reddened into a handprint immediately, a blurry outline. Max’s palm stung. He held his breath, waiting for Lando to throw a proper fit, call Max fit to burn, banish him to a sad wank in the bathroom to finish himself off. 

“Fuck,” Lando hissed, and craned his head over his shoulder to stare at Max. His eyes were wide, cheeks blotchy like he got when he’d been crying. “Oh, shit. Do that again.”

Max blinked. A peculiar feeling rushed through his veins, hot and cold all at once. His cock twitched in Lando’s hole, a muted little jerk. 

“I will if you say please,” he said. He rolled his hips, a slow drag, tipping his head back at the feeling of Lando’s tight body around him. His palm was still tingling. Fuck. 

Lando laughed, a low gargle. “You prick.” He dropped to his elbows, so his arse was sticking up more, taut and lightly tanned. He knew how to make himself as appealing as possible, you had to hand it to him. Even his tanlines were hot, the bastard. 

“Told you,” Max panted out, and passed his hand over the red print, squeezing. The skin he’d hit was hotter. Max looked at his cock disappearing in and out of Lando’s arse, shining with lube. “Manners.”

Lando made a frustrated sound and smacked the flat of his palm against the bed. “Please,” he said, like the word was being dragged out of him against his will. 

Max blinked at the ceiling, feeling the smile stretch across his face. “There you go,” he said, delirious. “Wasn’t that hard, was it?”

He brought his hand down again, and Lando bit out a groan, body jerking at the impact. 

“Fuck,” he repeated. He sounded unsure of himself, like he couldn’t decide if he liked it or not. “Again.”

“Manners,” Max reminded him, and Lando whined, high-pitched and frustrated. Fuck, this was brilliant. Max rocked into him shallowly, smacked him again when Lando finally said please.

Lando shuddered and moaned every time Max’s cock slid into him up to the hilt, like he couldn’t get enough of it. The sounds he made were soft and langurous compared to the sharp cries every time Max spanked him again. 

“God,” he spat after one particularly hard blow, dropping to his forearms and shaking his head like a dog, like Max had hit him across the face and made his ears ring rather than across the arse. “Thank you.”

The way he said it, it was like he really meant it. The words sliding out of him on an exhale, a breathy little half-sob, like he was giving into something he’d been fighting against for a long time. 

“That’s it,” Max said. Usually he’d have been embarrassed of the way his voice came out, a tight groan that made it clear just how turned on he was, but right now he couldn’t give a fuck. “That’s it, say that again.”

“Thank you,” Lando said obediently, almost before Max’s hand had even made contact with his skin. He sounded like he was enjoying saying it, like the shape of the words in his mouth gave him some extra pleasure. Max couldn’t see his face, but he could tell from the tone of Lando’s voice that he was smiling, a loose wet expression like he got when he’d been drinking.

His arse was so red. The handprints were blurring into each other, one pink mass with the vague outlines of Max’s fingers still visible in places. Max took him by the hips and lifted until Lando’s knees were barely brushing the bed, making him yelp. 

“Say ‘thank you for fucking me’,” Max said, because he never knew when to stop and be grateful for a good thing. 

Lando spluttered, laughing in a way that was clearly an attempt to be derisive, but it tipped into a moan when Max thrust into him, so deep his pubic bone ached where it ground against Lando’s coccyx. 

He swore under his breath, and Lando shuddered an inhale. 

“Thank you for fucking me,” he said, the words falling out of his mouth in a slurred tumble. “Thank you for – fuck –” Max spanked him again, one quick sharp slap. “Thank you, thank you.” 

He kept repeating it like that, fast and frenetic, like he was keeping time with the movement of Max’s hips fucking into him. He was propping himself on one arm, the muscles in his shoulder and the back of his arm flexing as he jerked himself off. He looked like every one of Max’s wet dreams since the age of about fourteen.

He thanked Max as he came, voice rising to a high and reedy whine as he came into the tight clutch of his fist. Max fucked him through it, reflecting on the downside of doing it doggy style: he couldn’t see Lando’s face, the blank bliss of it, the whites of his eyes. Shame. 

Still, it wasn’t like there wasn’t enough to get him off in the heave of Lando’s chest, the twitch of his hole around Max’s dick, the warm red patches still glowing against the paler skin of his arse. Lando had barely even started with the whimpering oversensitive noises before Max was grabbing him by the hips to hold him in place, trying and failing to keep his eyes open as he came. 

He gave himself up to a count of five in his mind before gritting his teeth and pulling out, still half-hard and sensitive to the touch. No sense waiting; Lando would only get more and more angsty, hated the feeling of being wet and stretched out after he’d come. 

Picking up his discarded boxers, Max watched Lando collapse onto his stomach. He reached for his t-shirt, feeling the chill in the air against his sweaty chest, but Lando shot a hand out and snatched it out of his grasp, reaching down between his legs to wipe himself off.

“Wow,” Max said. That shirt had cost him sixty quid, for fuck’s sake. “Can you not? I’ll go and get you a flannel or something, Christ.”

Lando just grunted, wiped his sticky hand before he let Max’s t-shirt drop to the floor. Max lifted his hands in despair. 

“Get me a can of Rubicon, would you?” Lando said, rolling onto his back and squinting up at Max. “I’m gasping.”

Max sighed heavily, putting it on a bit for show, but actually he was fucking thirsty himself, now he thought about it. He padded off to the kitchen, leaving Lando fumbling his phone out from under the pillows, grabbed two freezing cans out of the fridge and a roll of kitchen towel in the hope of salvaging the rest of his clothes from Lando’s idea of a clean-up attempt.

“Here y’go,” he said to Lando, back in the bedroom, snapping one of the cans open and holding it out. 

Lando took it from him and guzzled noisily, eyes still fixed on his phone. 

“‘Thanks, Max, appreciate it’,” Max parrotted, flopping onto the bed next to him. Lando looked up at him with narrowed eyes, pushed the cold corner of his can into the soft flesh of Max’s belly, making him flinch.

Well, alright, Max thought as he grabbed for Lando’s wrist, trying to wrench him away without getting covered in sticky fruit juice. Looks like he’s going to need a lot more training. 

[elliotsgrl]

pregnancy scare | min ho x reader

synopsis: you think you might be pregnant. you decide to tell min ho the news so you can find out together, but min ho doesn't take it so well....

pairing: min ho x reader

a/n: thank you to @a-mexican-waffle for this idea! also yall ntm on me pls i'm still very entry level when it comes to writing fics- i'm just tryna get the min ho x reader tag saturated yk.

warning: some spicy material, mentions of unprotected seggs. don't be silly, wrap ur willy!

i took a deep breath, looking at the pregnancy test box in my hands. this cannot be happening. i had been about two weeks late on my period, which is completely out of the ordinary. i am never late on my period. ever.

min ho and i had not used protection the last time we were together. we were both way too turned on and i was too impatient for him to grab the condom, so i let him go in raw.

now that my judgement is no longer clouded by lust or desire, i've realized that it may not have been the smartest decision to make.

who am i kidding? it was not. i palm my forehead and sigh, recalling how we got in this position.

we were in my dorm bed, both nude, and engrossed in a passionate lip lock. min ho was on top of me with my legs wrapped around his waist, and his hands trailing up my thigh. he pulled away to kiss and suck on my neck, which made me moan loudly and grip his soft hair.

"fuck, min, you're gonna leave a mark," i breathed out. i didn't want to deal with the fuss of having to cover up multiple hickeys. he left my neck alone and we were now face to face again. "you're no fun." min ho said playfully.

"shut up," i grabbed his face, closing the gap once more. we were kissing like we hadn't seen each other in months. i could feel how hard he was since it was pressing up against me. it only made me wetter than i already was. i needed him now.

min ho was trying to reach for the box of condoms on the dresser next to my bed while our lips were still entangled. i broke the kiss, not being able to wait any longer. "baby, i need you right now. i can't wait." i whispered. min ho raised his eyebrows in shock, trying to process what i just said.

"are you sure about this, y/n?" min ho rarely ever uses my full name, so i knew he was serious. but all i could think of in this moment was feeling him inside me. i nodded.

i put my hand on his cheek, letting him know that i meant what i said. "i'm sure. now put it in, please..." i was so desperate, i couldn't think straight until he gave me what i wanted.

he did, in fact, give me what i wanted, and more.

i felt a chill go down my spine from the flashbacks of what went down that night. it was an interesting night for sure. i knew this was the reality of what could happen when you don't use protection, but i was too horny to care.

time to tell min ho.

i grabbed my phone from the table to send him a text to come over. his dorm wasn't too far from me, so i knew it wouldn't take long for him to get here.

ten minutes later, i heard a soft knock on my door. he's here.

i went to the door to open it, revealing min ho. he had on loungewear and was looking sexy as ever. focus.

we hugged and kissed each other, and i led him inside to the living room. i let out a deep breath i didn't even realize i was holding.

minho went to sit on the couch, while i remained standing.

"your text sounded kinda urgent. is everything okay babe?" min ho said, looking at me.

"i have to tell you something, but you have to promise not to freak out." i said. knowing min ho, i know he was not going to take this lightly.

min ho stood up from the couch to come closer to me. his expression changed from being calm and collected to slightly worried.

"okay.... i promise i won't freak out."

he says that now. but he doesn't know about this bomb i'm going to drop on him.

"alright."

"i think i'm pregnant."

min ho laughed. "you're joking, right? is this a prank or something?"

i shook my head. when he realized i wasn't joking, it started to sink in for him.

min ho's eyes got as big as saucers.

"you think you're WHAT?"

"shit, y/n!"

"oh my god, i don't think i'm ready to be a father-"

"but i literally pulled out!"

"babe, do you know what this means???"

min ho was talking so fast that i could barely understand him. he was now pacing back and forth, rambling about the whole thing. he was losing it. i had to bring him back to earth.

"my love-"

"we're too young to be parents!"

"babe-"

"i wonder if the baby is gonna look more like me or you..."

"MIN HO!!!" i screamed, trying to get him to stop rambling. he immediately snapped out of whatever trance he was in.

"first of all, i need you to be calm, okay? second of all, the pull out method doesn't always work. and yes, i do know what this means. but, i'm not even a hundred percent sure if i am pregnant. it's just a possibility. my period is two weeks late, so i think i might be."

min ho pursed his lips, finally stopping the pacing.

"do you have a pregnancy test?"

i went to grab the two pregnancy test boxes i was holding earlier.

"yes, i do. i haven't taken them yet because i wanted us to find out together."

i went back to him and grabbed his hand.

"whatever the results are, we'll get through this, alright?" i spoke softly.

min ho nodded, squeezing my hand.

"you're right, we will."

we walked to the bathroom together, hand in hand.

i peed on both of the sticks, setting them face down on the sink. i put a timer on my phone for 3 minutes, and washed my hands.

minho sat on the flat edge of the tub while i sat on the covered toilet seat.

"this could really upend both our lives." min ho said, looking down.

"yeah, i know. i should've just let you grab that condom," i laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

min ho chuckled, looking back up at me. he shook his head. "you're such a nymph. you couldn't wait just a few more minutes so i could get the condom on?"

i smiled while rolling my eyes in a playful manner.

"hush!"

the alarm on my phone went off, signifying that three minutes has passed.

the smiles on our faces disappeared as quickly as they had came. this was it.

we both stood up.

we each grabbed a pregnancy test, so we could look at the same time.

"okay, on the count of three."

"one,"

"two,"

"three."

as we flipped them over, my heart was beating out of my chest. i don't think i'm ready to be a mother either.

i had never been more relieved to see the words "not pregnant" in my entire life. the weight that was on my shoulders being released felt so damn good.

"oh, thank heavens!" min ho exclaimed, seeing the negative result on the pregnancy test he was holding. he let out a relieved sigh.

"i think i was about to grow a grey hair just now. that was so stressful." min ho said. i laughed so hard.

"you're such a drama queen. i would've been the one carrying the baby!" i took the test from him so i could chuck them both in the trash.

"am not. how else was i supposed to react when my girlfriend tells me we might be expecting?"

we both washed our hands and left the bathroom.

we went back to the living room to cuddle on the couch. i grabbed the remote to surf through netflix.

"i'm really glad i'm not pregnant. that was fucking scary."

"i agree, let's never do that again."

min ho and i looked at each other.

"never ever..." i gave him a quick peck and smiled.

[ask-sister-solaris]

i have another idea !!

could you possibly do an egon x reader where egon is trying to fix a radio (reader's radio) and they later find out it's possessed, which is how they figure out there's some radio demon possessing all the radios in the city

(this might be inspired by a fic i'm writing with my oc so 👀 i just need the muse)

Oooooo hehehehehe

“Radio static”

Warnings: slight angst, mentions of possession etc

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Egon let out a huff of annoyance at the static coming from your radio. He’d offered to fix it but you just said it was the bad connection in the old Firehouse. As the radio cut out all together you let out a whine and pouted. “Spengieeeee”

He rolled us eyes at the pet name and went over “yes my dove? What seems to be the problem?” You pouted and huffed pointing to your radio “it just completely cut out!” He chuckled and sat beside you with his tools as he took the radio apart. Everything was perfect though, the wiring the boards everything was in order. Egon frowned and hummed gently, putting it back together.

“So what’s wrong with it? Do you think it’s just tired? Or maybe the wiring inside the wax coat is faulty?” You asked tilting your head. He shook his head and an idea popped into his head. He grabbed the P.K.E meter and held it up to the radio. It beeped like crazy the two antennae lifted almost all the way “I think we found our problem…but…this could be serious.”

You tilted your head confused as Egon left the room and went to consult Ray, after he’d been gone for thirty minutes or so you looked back at the radio as it began crackling again, a strained voice spoke out, “free…me” You backed away from it as the radio began moving…actually moving across the work desk. You called out for Egon, softly at first before the moving grew aggressive and the yelling more and more high pitched.

Egon and Ray ran in covering their ears, they dragged you out and Egon rubbed his ears in pain “whatever this is, it’s not just your radio. It’s..most the radios in New York..and if it’s what me and Ray think it is well we need to find the source and quickly.”

You hummed and and tilted your head in thought. Maybe this would be a good time as any to use your connections. You left the room and headed to the Reception Area, asking Janine if you could use the phone. She shrugged and you called up an old friend of yours that worked in the radio station.

“Have all radio stations checked and shut down for a few hours..the Ghostbusters need to run an investigation” your friend was surprised but agreed. Shortly after you hung up there was announcement on the radio telling listeners that radio would be offline while maintenance was carried out. You pressed the button to alarm the boys to come down and briefed them on what you’d done.

“if Egon and Ray are concerned we need to act fast. And don’t try stop me, I’m coming along” You looked at Venkman in particular as you suited up. Luckily Egon was at ease sharing his jumpsuit with you, plus he found out it helped keep you calm. Once you all arrived at the major radio station you headed in and did a full sweep. The P.K.E meter went crazy the moment you stopped outside the biggest radio studio door. You looked at Egon as he nodded and you slowly pushed the door open.

Inside was a tall, thin and pale entity, his breathing was raspy and sounded like static. You both readied your neutron wands and Egon radioed the other three to get upstairs immediately. Once they were all there, you opened the door fully, shooting your blast, holding the entity in place. It struggled against you until Egon shot his blast, securing it while Ray rolled the trap in. As he counted down, you prepared yourself for the opening of the trap, he gave the signal and the trap opened as you and Egon pulled the beams off and the spirit was sucked into the trap. You looked at the closed trap and a grin spread across your face.

“Well..that was…wow” you’d never actually done any of the catching. You’d been the one rolling the trap out or holding the P.K.E meter. This was the first time of many. You grabbed the trap and headed out along with the others where a hoard of news reporters and journalist were waiting. Peter gave an over dramatic speech of sorts and you rolled your eyes “What Dr Venkman means is, radio is coming back soon and we have a very important job to do” you shoved Venkman into the car and got in after him.

The way home was sleepy but peaceful. Once the trap was emptied and everyone all cleaned up and such, you flopped on Egons double bed still in his jumpsuit, minus the boots gloves and other accessories. You were so…worn out but Egon helped you change into one of his tshirts and some jogging bottoms. He kissed your forehead and you dragged him down into bed with you clinging like a koala “Radio static is annoying…” you mumbled sleepily and Egon rubbed your back “agreed” he mumbled and smiled as your soft snores filled the room. “Goodnight my dove”

[salty-croissants]

Rayman/Ramon x anxious fem reader

Thank you @cutegamertv for the request ! I couldn’t seem to find it in my inbox , so I had to use the screenshot I took … sorry for the inconvenience , I don’t know why this happens :,I

Anyway I’ve actually been feeling a bit down these days , so writing this type of comfort scenario really helped a lot :,)👍

Hope it turned out okay ! 

Details : use of female reader ;

established relationships ; 

no warnings needed 

Rayman 🧡

Let’s make one thing clear : Rayman would do anything to make sure that you’re comfortable and happy at all times , and if you ever get the feeling that you’re bothering him by being anxious ? 

Well , he definitely won’t just stand by and watch his beloved even think about such things . 

< y/n , my love , look at me … 

You are , without exaggeration , the most important person in my life : you could never , ever be a burden to me . > 

< But … I know you’re busy , you have so many things to keep track of and I’m … I’m making you waste time over something so … dumb … > 

< Darling , you are much more important to me than anything else .

You’re what helps me keep going every day … the least I could do is be there for you when you need it . > 

If you’re one who gets especially anxious in public spaces , you can bet that Rayman will be coming with you , holding your hand if it helps you feel more at ease or simply staying by your side until you both get back home . 

And if someone says something mean spirited about you , they will quickly be confronted by your very protective boyfriend . 

< How about you leave my y/n alone , pal ? 

Back off ! > 

If you ever were to tell him that you don’t feel worthy of being with someone like him , Rayman is going to be shocked …

He is the lucky one to have someone as amazing as you ! 

Still , you can count on him to have just the right words to comfort you . 

< You are more than enough for me , I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else .

If only I could show you just how beautiful in every way you are to me … > 

Then Rayman always makes sure to shower you with sweet , loving kisses all over your face , as a way to showcase just how much you mean to him : 

you really are his everything ❤️

Ramon 🖤

While he definitely became way more bitter after the events he had to go through , Ramon is still definitely very soft with you , and much like he did in the past he is always looking out for you , making sure you’re okay … 

Also he immediately shuts down any worries you might have about bothering him .

< y/n . There’s literally no way you could ever bother me . 

Don’t even think about that , not for a second . >

< But - > 

< No “buts” . >

Given your fragility , Ramon is going to become even more protective than before over you now , and he won’t hesitate to straight up murder anyone who makes you even a little uncomfortable : 

he won’t accept any compromises , not when your safety is on the line . 

< Everything alright , honey ? I saw that guy approaching you and … > 

< I’m okay Ram , thank you … he was just a bit insistent about getting a drink together , but I’m not hurt or anything , it just … scared me a little . > 

< Tch … well , you can be sure that he won’t think about trying shit like that ever again . > 

< Heh , well you kinda put a bullet through his skull , sweetie … 

That makes it pretty hard for anyone to think . > 

If you bring up the fact that you don’t feel like you’re good enough for him , Ramon will barely even know what to say … 

He feels awful for everything that he allowed Eden to do back when he worked for them , he feels like he doesn’t deserve anything good at all , and certainly not someone like you . The fact that you think that makes him both confused and determined to prove you wrong . 

< y/n , do you have any idea where I would be if I didn’t have you ? 

You literally saved my life : you stuck with me when you knew what I did , you’ve shown me kindness even though I didn’t deserve it … 

If anything , I’m the one who isn’t good enough for you . > 

< Ram don’t say that … you’re amazing and I love you so much … > 

< I love you too sweetheart , I really do … so please , don’t be so hard on yourself , okay ? 

You’re my reason to be alive , I couldn’t go on without you … > 

After all that , you can be sure that Ramon will be cuddling you for hours , demonstrating his seriousness on the matter :

there is no way he will just stand there and watch his beautiful y/n feel like she doesn’t deserve him . 

[mysumeow]

WANDERER ALPHABET PT. 2/2🥛. . ♡ 💭

warnings: afab genitalia, mentioned use of skirt for reader, gn pronouns.

a/n: me to myself: ok write something short and nice. keep it simple. *proceeds to write three paragraphs for a single letter*. remember this all is just my take on wanderer ;7; i hope everyone enjoys it n_n

PART ONE

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Edging, overstimulation, ruined orgasms (giving more often than receiving), hair pulling (giving and receiving, when you're fed up with his edging) (that's why he riles you up), cockwarming and, lowkey, humiliation.

Generally, he enjoys exploring how far you can go before you get desperate and to what lengths you would go to reach that sweet orgasm. Where's your limit? He must know everything about you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Private’s not bad, but he sometimes entertains the idea of making you cockwarm him in the Akademiya library, in the most secluded corner there is, and preferably with you wearing a skirt, since it would be easier to hide what’s going on.

The thrill for him is watching you struggle to keep yourself composed while he finishes his essays. You might be doing a decent job at keeping a neutral face, but he wants to see you sweat and struggle, so he grips your hips harder, and gives a shallow thrust.

You have to grip the pencil in your hand to force yourself to shut up.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

The short answer is that your mere presence makes him happy. In all sorts of senses.

He won’t confess that since he keeps those candid emotions to himself. He often finds himself drawn to you, and to be able to experience unconditional love from someone else only fuels the need to mark you somehow and let everyone know that he won't be letting go of you anytime soon.

It's common for you to leave with at least one mark on your neck. He can’t go more than ten minutes without craving your attention. Expect him to stand by you when you’re talking to someone else. He doesn’t interrupt the conversation, though. Just letting the other person know he’s there is enough for him. God forbid someone flirts with you within his vicinity; he’s doubling up the number of marks on you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Can't fathom the idea of hurting you. Sure, he can spank you if that's what gets you going. Sure, he can pull on your hair too. Be rougher when handling your body on the bed; bite you, etc. He puts a full stop to anything that can fatally injure you. You're too precious for him; he can't allow himself to put you at any type of risk.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving. If it makes your legs tremble and leaves you gasping, he’s in for it, and oral is one way to do it. He enjoys going at it at his own pace, making sure to work you through it until you’re left trembling and gasping, increasing the intensity. His favorite part is stopping when you’re about to cum, and how whiny you may get or your pleading expressions. He lives for it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He gets caught up in his emotions, which are intense during these intimate moments. And that ardor in his heart channels right through his actions. In other words, he gets rough.

Not out of pure, unadulterated lust; this is one of the few occasions in which he allows himself to be vulnerable. You’re lost in the pleasure of how he holds you, the unforgiving pace he sets, chest heaving, and trying to ground yourself; surely you won’t notice the way he beholds the sight in front of him with utmost devotion.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He convinces himself that his restraint on carnal desire is excellent. Until you start teasing him. And begin sliding your hand up and down his thigh, the sultry little look you give him.

Next thing you know, you’re trying to push his mouth from your clit; someone’s approaching, and you’re unable to hold your voice any longer if he keeps going.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’ll try anything that makes you happy. For some things, you might have to beg him. Only because he likes seeing you do so.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Resilient.

His body withstands a stellar amount of physical work. It’s a big possibility that you’ll be the one to tire out before him.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He prefers using them on you, but if you want to use them on him, he’s willing.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

If you’ve reached this far into the alphabet, you must’ve noticed a constant theme of him relishing in leaving your legs trembling and begging for more, or less if he’s overstimulating you. The funny thing is that, if you’re the one on the giving end, he’s a brat. Which, if you enjoy that, makes the experience entertaining.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not loud enough for everyone in the vicinity to realize what’s going on behind closed doors. It's similar to his normal speaking voice. Slightly lower.

His ears burn red whenever, after the session, he remembers how his voice slipped out more than he would like it to. Lots of hums from him attempting to hold his voice, lots of ‘ah’s when he can no longer push himself to hide it, and the occasional whine.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

More than once, he has fantasized about using your tits or thighs to get off. The mere idea of sliding his dick between either of those soft and pleasant places makes his cock hard.

He imagines his hands grabbing at your breasts while yours are free to roam around his thighs, your mouth open to suck and lick his tip whenever he cants his hips forward—or, your thighs, sliding between them and teasing you by rubbing occasionally on your pussy lips, but not giving in quite yet. He wants to make you beg for it.

Since he's quite new to this, he still feels a bit embarrassed about having those thoughts and, even worse, admitting them.

He'll drop a hint here and there about it, expecting you to be the one to offer it yourself.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Proportionate in terms of length and girth; none far outweighs the other in any aspect. A bit over average, but nothing overwhelming. What’s not average is his sensitivity. He gets hard at the minimal direct touch from you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He seeks you when frustration piles up and is about to spill. He’s receptive whenever you’re in the mood.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He pretends to sleep and waits for you to doze off first. He caresses your hair lovingly, admiring each detail on your face. The sight of you sleeping relaxes him and makes it easier for him to fall asleep, even if he doesn’t need it that much. He appreciates the bonding aspect of it.

[catalinas-cure]

We Gotta Have It Out

Description: Ethan gets wasted and confesses his feelings to Bestfriend!Reader. I copied a lot of things from the Little Women movie (2018)

Author’s note: this is my first time writing a fic and I didn’t check for mistakes before posting so bear with me 🙏. I might write a part two if anyone wants it

Frat parties are bad enough as it is, how could they get any worse? That’s what you thought before your best friend (who had begged, practically cried for you to come with him) ditched you for the cheap alcohol everyone seemed to be offering him. You were so embarrassed that he had talked you into coming to this party, you had even gotten all dressed up. You decided you wouldn’t let all your effort go to waste and walked over to the table of drinks in hopes of finding someone to distract you. You found the perfect target, he was tall, towering over you even in your six inch heels. He was cute enough,“Want a drink?”he asked, two cups in hand. “Yeah, what is it?” you asked taking the cup from him. You were about to chug the entire thing, not caring what it was until you felt someone’s hand on your shoulder “Y/n, you have to help me, he keeps asking for you” said Chad. You already knew what he was talking about, you put your drink down and ran up stairs, looking for Ethan. You stopped in front of the bathroom door, listening to see if you could hear Ethan, and then knocking cause you’re growing impatient. “Y/n…” you push the door open, Ethan is sprawled out in the tub, still wearing his ghostface costume. “What is it, Ethan?” you say, crouching next to the tub to meet his eye level “I need to tell you something” he says, giggling and hiccuping. “I don’t want to talk to you when you’re like this..” you say, holding his hand. “Now sit down” you help him out of the tub, he sits down on the bathroom floor with you. Leaning his head against your shoulder “Can I tell you now…..please?” you scoot away from him “You’re burning up” bringing the back of your hand to his forehead “I’m gonna get you some water, stay here..” You get up and open the door to leave “No….I still need to tell you” he says, putting his hand on your leg to keep you with him. “If I listen, will you let me leave?” already annoyed, you sit on the sink “Maybe…” he says, looking up at you with a stupid look on his face “Okay, don’t fight me on this..” you raise your eyebrow at him “Listen, I know I get on your nerves and everything but I’m your best friend. This is really gonna piss you off….but you have to hear me out” “…Get to the point already, so we can leave” you say, not really paying attention to what Ethan is saying. “I’m getting there, so….we’ve been friends for so long, and you know everything about me, except one thing..” you cut him off “That you’re a pain in the ass?” you say , jokingly. “…Don’t be like that, please, I’m serious.” his all of a sudden urgent tone and yearning gaze make you realize what he wants you to know “No, no. Stop it, Ethan” you get off the sink, not wanting to hear anything he has to say “It’s no use y/n, we gotta have it out. I’ve loved you ever since I’ve known you, I couldn’t help it” he’s tearing up and his voice is cracking at this point “You’re drunk, I don’t believe you.” tears welling in your eye “You have to believe me, I need you to.” he says, begging you to hear him “We can’t, it wouldn’t work. I love you, I can’t let you do this to yourself” he shuts his eyes and tries to catch his breathe “Just say yes, we can figure it out. We love eachother, isn’t that enough?” you get down to your knees and hold his hands “It would be a disaster, you know it” “Why does everyone expect it then, you’re wrong. We would be so happy together” he puts his hand on your tear streaked face “What am I supposed to do with myself? I need you.” it’s your turn to beg now “I’m looking out for you, you meet someone that you actually love and you’ll thank me” he brings both of your heads together, holding you “I can’t love anyone else y/n, I only love you” you bury your head into his neck and bring his shuddering body as close to you as you can “I love you, I love you” Ethan says, kissing your neck, still struggling to breathe after crying so hard. You still hadn’t stopped crying, but somehow you felt the happiest you’ve been in a long time.

Maybe Ethan was right, maybe this could work.

(Writing requests are currently open 🌟)

[jellijellybean]

nsfw takes on some [JJK] characters mdni

don't laugh at me alright. im soft and mushy most days so there's no hardcore kinks in this one gang. ngl sometimes i get really nervous about posting my writing but then i remember i used to write on quotev when i was fourteen and feel arguably worse. as always put your ages in bios please and thank you. [word count: 2.1k]

warnings: nsfw. slight choking (gojo), overstimulation (receiving w/geto), alcohol mention (shoko), uhh none for (nanami) i believe, nails/scratching (utahime), oral (tojo)

a/n: this was written to be gender neutral. i might do the curses next because i am but a humble sukuna enjoyer (its such a shame he's always on my mind and never on me.)

Gojo:

I feel like he's the type to set the pace real gentle and slow. He doesn't get the opportunity to shower you with his affection as much as he'd like, but when he does it leaves you breathless.

He drags his palm up towards your neck so he can cup your face in one of those big hands of his. His lips don't stop ghosting over your neck as he trails kiss after kiss until he's brushing against your lips while the hand cupping your face suddenly trails down to carefully wrap his long fingers around your throat.

The squeeze is almost too faint to feel, but your head spins regardless and the chuckle that rumbles through his chest at your reaction makes your stomach explode with butterflies.

His favorite thing though?

Loves it so much when you wrap your legs around his waist, he loves the feeling of your arms wounding tight around his shoulders, how he's practically engulfed by you.

Seriously. He just loves the way you feel when you're here clinging to him down to the right amount of pressure, always leaving him dizzy from the rush he gets. When you whisper his name over and over again he feels invincible.

All the responsibilities, the pain, and sorrow can wait, everything, all his worries, all his hurt can fade into the background when your fingers brush through his hair, repeating soft, "I love you's,” into his mouth until your voice fades and his breath hitches.

Geto:

A tease through and through.

The type to whisper that he wants to hear what you want, all the filthy things that enter your mind, he wants to hear it all. Purposely, leaves you begging for more just so he can repeat the words of, "..say it for me one more time," before he thinks of continuing.  He's a bit more calculated with how well he sets the pace too.

Geto’s the type to observe your reactions, see how well you react to the way he slides in, how much pressure he'll need to use to have your legs shaking, and how sensitive you are to his touch. He takes his time to explore and learn just how to make your body sing.

You'd almost be startled by how often he focuses entirely on the way you feel when you're with him. The way you squeeze your eyes shut or when you try to pull him closer has his heart about to burst with the adoration he feels for you at that moment.

Be warned though, because of the pause he takes to admire you, to spend a few moments worshipping your very being — he'll absolutely overstimulate you afterwards, badly.

He might whisper that he's sorry, but he's almost there.. you can take a bit more, can't you? He got so distracted by you, he can't help it! The twitchy feeling below your stomach soon boils into burning pleasure when he continues the pace of his thrusts. He's kissing you, smothering your lips with kiss after kiss until your hands shake and your back arches once again.

Geto chuckles at the way your body tightens just right around him and he can't stop himself from cupping your face and holding it steady enough to keep your lips locked tight together.

Sigh. Isn't he so romantic?

Shoko:

You'd have to be the one to suggest anything, she's a busy woman with a packed schedule that leaves her exhausted.

Maybe, you decide to surprise her with a home-cooked dinner when she walks through the door and you finally get to see her tired smile as she tells you, you didn't have to.

You say it's the least you can do with the same bright grin you always wear and as you pull out the wine bottle kept safe for nights like this she caves and takes her seat right across from your own. Shoko's very thankful for your presence when you begin to talk about your day while she sits there and listens. A few drinks later and a quick movie leaves you guys on the couch, Shoko hovering above you as your hands rest against her hips.

The movie is long forgotten when you leave little nips and soft kisses against the sorceress' neck. Her shirt, slowly being pushed up and over her head just so you can continue to worship her delicate skin and watch the bites, scratches, and hickeys on her body slowly gain color.

Shoko’s more relaxed if anything, not really in a rush to get to where she needs to go. She is the type to really savor the moment as she tends to get lost in the way it feels the closer she gets to being pushed over that edge.

Something tells me she's also big on using her hands — mainly to touch your skin. Cup your face and trace the scars that you received from the time before you knew her. She even enjoys/savors the heat from your body as it slowly warms up her icy hands, and to Shoko, it's a constant reminder that you're here.

With her.

It keeps her grounded, especially after a long day of seeing sorcerers in different states of agony. You're her rock and she couldn't feel happier with anyone else, after all, you're all she needs in this world.

Nanami:

Nanami is a bit harder for me to calculate, but he gives very solid and strong vibes, give me a second to explain. Feels like his pace would be as steady as can be.. in the sense that he doesn't necessarily change it much. You might feel him get a bit rougher the closer he gets, really wanting to press deep, but he mostly keeps himself stable and has pretty good stamina overall.

Not the type to really get lost in the moment, but he tends to bask in the way his muscles tense and then how his body relaxes after he climaxes. He's a bit more on the quiet side too, not into talking too much but more into soft sighs and heavy breathing.

Don't expect his pace to be erratic unless you purposely tease him throughout the day — you'll know what's about to happen when he suddenly clasps a hand on your shoulder, pinky close enough to your neck he'd be able to caress the skin if he wanted to. He's ruthless, but still.. restrained in a sense until you goad him a bit more — keep babbling about whatever, tease him until you see the cracks in his self-control.

Man's will be talking then, whispering how exactly you affect him. How you invade his mind on days he needs to focus, how you're always there regardless of what he's doing.

When he's at work he wonders if you're awake. In the car he questions whether you've eaten or not and even when he's dealing with curses he thinks back to you.. at home waiting for him and he finds himself being a bit more careful.

Calculated and calm.

He needs to get home to you after all. Nanami tends to be a little more looser, letting out moans and groans more freely, his deep voice leaves you shivering. He normally falls asleep after nights like these though, arm wrapped taut around your body, making sure to keep you close to his chest. Just hold him tight and whisper that everything will be okay — he'll fully believe you.

Utahime:

Alright, something about this lady just gives me.. brat vibes (if you can say that.)

She won’t be downright mean to you but will do anything to get a reaction out of you so to speak. I’m talking when you guys are training and she manages to knock you down to the ground with a bright grin on her face all while exclaiming that she beat you!

Utahime can laugh and giggle all she wants about her victory and she might even say that you let your guard down, that you didn’t give it your all, and that you lost — to her.

It might make your blood boil a bit when she says those words to you, a slight tremble in your fingers as you reach for her arm to tug her down.

Now it’s your turn to laugh at the shock on her face, the way she whispers that your tactics are dirty, and the fact her face flushed at the realization of just how close you two were. You’re practically on top of her! She says it with a slight glare but your hands slip under her shirt before she even has a second to open her mouth again. It's funny watching, almost entranced, as her eyes widen before she tries to squirm away.

She stares, jaw slack, as the grin grows on your face when you throw a teasing remark back to her that gets her blood boiling all while teasing her chest. Utahime begins to take this as a challenge — to see who’s the real loser and before you realize it, girl has you flipped over with her hands underneath your shirt. Her strength surprises you as she slowly clambers on top of your body, feeling the way her nails ghost across your skin before digging into your shoulders.

Oof yeah, the nails are something she uses — often. Talking deep scratches along your back and shoulders that burn with an almost addicting pain, might even leave imprints when she cums with how hard she digs them into your skin. Sometimes it has you worried she’s drawing blood lol.

I also get talkative vibes from her, like she whispers soft curses and small threats like, “If you stop.. I’m going to kill you.” (LMAO) but the majority of the time, when you guys aren’t at each other’s throats, she’s a real softy with her words.

Very open about how good you make her feel and will gladly tell you so, but be warned because she expects the same energy back.

Honestly, just tell her how much you love her, how badly she affects you, and just how often she’s on your mind and I promise she’ll be eating out of your palm in no time because.. really.

All she wants is someone to love and appreciate the way she is without the need to hide any part of herself and look who's perfect for that.

Toji:

You guys probably met at some bar that served cheap booze and different types of filling foods. The screens on the tv’s playing random sports or the news or even some random cartoon — it’s overstimulating and you don’t even realize it until the sound of someone shuffling beside you is enough to drag your attention away.

The man doesn’t seem to acknowledge you but yawns very openly, you swear you’d be able to hear it if the people chatting weren’t so loud. Toji on the other hand, noticed you from across the room. His first thoughts were that you were cute looking, not really meant to be on this side of town without a reason, so he decided to sit next to you and see if you'd be interested in conversation.

(I can’t describe it but Toji to me doesn’t really give romantic vibes, but he’d still be at least somewhat considerate of your comfort and pleasure.)

Don't expect kisses to the lips and soft pillow talk, expect a bite to your ear and him forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist. Just ti keep himself hunched over your body until he's practically engulfing you and everything you are. Has a mix of having such a ruthless pace that leaves you gasping for air each time he bullies his way inside and then having the slow and lazy one with how gentle he rocks his hips into you when he feels like switching it up.

He won't admit it but he loves the fact you can never seem to hide the noises he drags out of you — it's a song only he's able to hear and that leaves him on cloud nine.

Might catch him lying on his back afterwards, staring at the ceiling with a somewhat blank look on his face. You might think that's it. That he's got what he wanted and is about to leave and never speak to you again, but the truth is, he's not sure how to ask if you'd be interested in meeting up like this again and again and again.

It's been a while since he's actually slept with someone he feels like he has good compatibility with and that's hard to find in this day and age. Won't say anything about it but you'll find it kind of weird when you slowly begin to see him around a bit more. Maybe he's walking down the street or standing in line at the grocery store and you see him again.

Call it fate or whatever but he draws you closer, like a moth to a flame. You'll learn about his thing with oral as time goes on. Loves the way you sound with his fingers in your mouth or when it's been such a rough day all he needs is you, on your back, trying to shove his head away while you beg and plead for some mercy.

It's honestly his favorite pastime. Let's just hope you two don't get into anything too frisky because my man is shameless and all I can say is godspeed soldier.

[justwhisperingfantasies]

I Can't Let You Go Prt 2

Characters: Sam Winchester x Female Reader, Dean Winchester, Castiel. Bobby Singer. Crowley. Death. Lucifer. Adam. Michael. Mention of other SPN characters.

Warnings: Language, Fluff, Angst, Hurt Dean, Sam, Reader, Bobby, and Cas. Guns, Cannon violence. Cannon with a twist. Let me know if I forgot any.

Summary: You have known Sam Winchester most of your life. He was your best friend and you were completely in love with him. The day after he decides to take on Lucifer and put him back in the cage is the day he finally makes himself tell you how he truly feels about you.

Word count: 6,364 words

A/N: I know it's been a while, I had a hard time writing this because I knew where it was headed. Sorry for the wait. Hope ya'll enjoy it. 💗

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You woke in the familiar room alone. You looked around and saw your duffle in the corner. Sam must have brought it up for you. You walked over and opened it. You found a clean pair of jeans and a gray V-neck shirt. Eh, that will work you thought. 

“Rise and shine,” Sam said as he walked in the door holding a cup of coffee. 

“Mmmm Thank you,” you said then sipped. “Oh, Dean coffee.”

He chuckled as he sat down on the bed. “Actually I made Dean show me how to make the “world’s best coffee”. He playfully mocked you. 

You squinted your eyes at him” Watch it, Winchester.”

You closed the door and started changing. Sam let out a whistle and you rolled your eyes. He waited until you got dressed then grabbed you pulling you down to straddle him. You twisted your fingers in his hair as you kissed his lips. His arms wrapped tightly around you as he laid his head on your shoulder. Your arms hugged around his neck. 

“So what's on the agenda for today?” 

“Well, Dean and Crowley are going to confront death and the rest of us will stop this pharm company.” He explained the virus outbreak and the vaccines. 

“And we trust Crowley now?!”

“I don’t think we have a choice. Plus he seems to want Lucifer back in the cage as much as we do.”

. “I guess. So when are we leaving?”

“Tonight.”

“Alright. We should get everything ready.” 

“Yeah probably.” he agreed but neither of you let go. 

“Sam.” 

“Yeah, Yeah,” he sighed as he squeezed you and then loosened his arms. You stood up and bent back down giving him a quick kiss making him smile. 

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As you tossed the last bag in your truck Dean shut the Impala trunk. “Alright, well good luck stopping the zombie apocalypse,” he said 

“Yeah, Good luck killing death,” Sam replied. You could see the worry in their eyes. Sam chuckled. “Do you remember when we used to just hunt Wendigos? Back when everything was simple?”

“Ha. Not really.” Dean smiled. 

“Yeah, well you might need this,” Sam said holding out the demon blade to Dean. 

“Actually, Dean is covered,” Crowley said popping out of thin air. Holding out a scythe to Dean. “Deaths own, known to kill demons, angels, reapers, and rumored to kill the very thing itself. 

“Where did you get that?” Cas asked 

“I'm the king of the crossroads. Remember?” Crowley smiled.  “Bobby you just going to sit there?”

“No, I’m gonna river dance?!” Bobby sneered. 

“Oh, Bobby. You really wasted that deal. ” everyone looked at Crowley confused. “You get more if you phrase it properly,” he explained how he added a tiny sub-a clause for Bobby. “So, just gonna sit there?”

Bobby moved his feet. Everyone looked at him in disbelief. Then he stands up. “ Son of a bitch!” he remarks. Everyone smiled at him. 

“Yes, completely worth your soul. I know I’m a hell of a guy.” Crowley smiled.

“Thanks,” Bobby said truly meaning it. 

“Yes, can we go?” Crowley asked walking to the passenger side of the Impala.

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As Bobby drove, Sam sat next to you explaining his plan to Cas.

“That's an interesting plan,” Castiel said after thinking about it for a second. 

“That's a word for it.” Bobby scoffed. 

“Not the one I would use.” You said. Sam put his hand on your thigh for comfort.

“Go ahead Cas. Tell me it's the worst plan you've ever heard,” he said playfully squeezing your leg. 

“Well I could, but that’s not what I think,” Cas said. 

“Really?!” you and Sam said at the same time. 

“ You and Dean have exceeded my expectations time and time again, he resisted Michael maybe you could beat Lucifer,” Cas explained. “However since Adam said yes, if you say yes, then fail. The fight will happen, and the collateral will be immense.”

You felt Sam’s body stiffen beside you. You grabbed Sam’s hand and placed it in your lap lacing your fingers together. 

“And then there’s the demon blood,” Cas said.

“Wait what are you talking about?!” You asked

“ To take on Lucifer, Sam would have to consume more than he ever has. It strengthens the vessel. Keeps it from exploding.” Cas explained. 

“But the guy he's in now…” Sam started. 

“Is drinking gallons.” Castiel cut him off.

“No fucking way!” you said. 

“Yeah. How is this not the worst plan you've ever heard?” Bobby looked at Castiel. 

Sam’s jaw tightened and you could see in his face how difficult this was for him. Taking his hand out of yours he placed his face in his palms.  “Sam..”

“Let's just get this done and we can all argue when we get back to Bobby’s. Okay?” Sam cut you off in a harsh tone, you turned and looked out your window blinking back tears. 

The rest of the ride was complete silence. 

You guys finally reached Niveus Pharmaceuticals and staked out the place for a bit. 4 yellow semi trucks were being loaded on a truck dock. While observing  Bobby went over the plan. “ they are loading the hot shots now. The first truck doesn't leave for an hour. We get in plant the c-4 then pull the fire alarm.”

“Um, that truck is leaving.” Castiel points. 

“Balls! Ok, new plan.”

Cas runs to the escaping truck. As the driver tries to slide his key card to unlock the gate Castiel knocks him out causing his head to land on the horn. The demons on the dock all look up. 

“It’s the Winchesters.” one of them said as he started pulling down and locking the doors.

“Well then let’s cook up something for them,” the other demon said ripping into a box of vaccines.   You, Sam, and Bobby run to the dock doors, but you are too late.

“Side door!” Bobby yells. As you approach the side door you can hear people inside banging on the door and yelling for help. 

“Get Back” you yell and you shoot the lock on the door. The people ran out frightened. The 3 of you walk in guns drawn.  You hear grunting and some thumping. You and Sam look to Bobby. He slides the backpack of explosives off his shoulders and Sam does the same. Bobby signals you guys to follow him. You round a corner of shelves to find 6 humans infected with the Croatoan virus ripping a guy to shreds. 6 pairs of red eyes turn to you. You cock your cocks at the same time. You guys manage to take them all out before they reach you.

“HELP ME!!” a woman nearby screams. 

“There's still people in here,” Sam says as he starts to walk in the direction of the screams. 

“Sam wait,” you said 

“Take this and stay here.” He says handing you the demon blade. 

“Damnit,” you said as you took the blade.  Sam continues into the warehouse aiming his shotgun. 

Bobby turns to face you. “(y/n) behind you.”

You turn around and there’s a demon. You stab him in his side with the blade killing him. 

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“Hey, do you think we can stop for pizza?” Crowley asked Dean as they walked up to an abandoned building. 

“Are you kidding?!” 

“Just heard it was good.” He pointed at the barn ahead. “He’s in there.”

“How do you know?”

“Have you met me? I know. Plus the block is squirming with reapers.” Crowley said as he looked around. “I’ll be right back.” and Crowley disappeared.  

Two seconds later he reappeared. “Boy, is my face red. He's not in there.”

“You wana cut the bullshit and tell me where he is?” Dean snapped

“Sorry, I'm not sure. We can catch him in the next doomed city.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Bobby sold his soul for this?”

“Don't worry there’s a return policy.” Crowley ensured him. 

“Millions crowley! Millions of people are going to die any minute now.” Dean yelled.

“Yeah, so I suggest we get out of here!” Crowley said as he walked away. 

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Back at the pharm warehouse, you started to get anxious. You began to walk in the direction Sam went. 

“(y/n) He will be fine. “

“Bobby,” you were cut off by the sounds of gunshots. You took off  in his direction, but stopped when you saw Sam bringing  victims around the corner, 

“Help them,” Sam said to you. You drew your gun and escorted them to the door. 

“All clear” Sam concluded. 

You looked to the left and saw an infected worker charging for Sam.  “Sam watch out!” but you were too late. You started running toward them. The worker jumped on Sam causing him to fall on his back. The worker was on top of Sam choking him full force. Bobby raised his gun, but it was empty. You slid and put the end of your sawed-off shotgun barrel on the worker's forehead and pulled the trigger. Blood went everywhere. Sam started gasping for air.  You laid your arms and head down with a sigh.

“You good?” you asked Sam. 

“Yeah, “ He got out once he caught his breath.

“Good, Can we  commit our act of domestic terrorism now?” Bobby asked starting to walk toward the backpacks you laid down earlier. 

Sam got up and put his hand out offering to help you up. You took it, and you were on your feet so fast it made your head spin a little.  “Let's go,” he said. 

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Dean made his way back to the Impala. Crowley was already sitting in the passenger seat. Dean got in the driver's seat. “So what?” he said with a groan. “ Bomb threats? How the hell do I get 3 million people out of Chicago in the next 10 minutes?” He looked over to Crowley for advice, but he was gone.  Dean looked around. “Fuck!” Dean snapped then looked across the street.  Crowley was pointing in a pizzeria mouthing “I found him” 

“What? I can't hear you.” Dean said aloud and threw up his hands. 

“I said I found him,” Crowley said as he popped back into the passenger seat making Dean jump. “ He is in there.” Crowley pointed again.

Dean got out. “You coming..” he said as he turned around, Crowley was gone again, “ I guess not.”  He made his way over to the pizzeria. Cautiously and Quietly Dean walked through the front door.  There was a waitress behind the bar sitting on the floor, dead. Two men sitting at a table both of their faces in a half-eaten pizza, dead.  A younger waitress lying on the floor in the middle of the room, dead. Dean shook his head but kept going. He entered the next room. More Dead bodies sprawled out on the floor. He looked up to a man sitting at a table looking out the window. Sythe in hand Dean crept toward the man. The sythe got hotter the closer he got. As he dropped it on the floor he could feel the blister from the burn forming. There was a loud clanking sound as it hit the ground. 

“Thanks for returning that,” the man said.  Dean looked up at him. The man just stared out the window, Dean looked back down to find the Sythe had disappeared, “Join me, Dean.” Dean looked back up at the man. It was now sitting on the table beside the man’s plate. “The pizza is delicious!” Dean still cautious walked over. 

The man was cutting up a piece of pizza. Not looking up from his plate “ Sit down. I think we need to have a chat.”

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Somehow you got Bobby to let you drive back to his house. It was nice having to focus on the road rather than all the apocalypse shit that was going on. It was still too quiet though. You turned the radio on and popped in a mixed CD. Johnny Cash started playing. You turned the volume up a little. You peeked in the backseat to see if you woke Bobby or Cas.

“I fell into a burning ring of fire. I went down. Down. Down. And the flames went higher.

You looked over at Sam. He was looking at you with wide eyes. “ Oh my god. I’m sorry, I didn't even think about it when it started playing. “ your cheeks got hot. 

“ I was wondering how long it was gonna take.” he chuckled.  

As you hit the next button on the CD player you hit a bump causing your finger to hit the button a couple of times. Highway to hell by AC/DC started playing. “Shit!” you quickly turned the radio off. “We don't need music.”

Sam chuckled and it made you smile.  “But you hate driving without music.” He turned the radio back on and skipped the song. Changes By Tupac started playing and your head started bobbing. He hit the skip button again. 

“Hey,” you said 

Misunderstanding by Genesis started to play.  “ You know your music taste is baffling,” he said smiling. 

“Not baffling. It’s diverse.”

He chuckled. “ Whatever you say, princess.” you smiled. 

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“He just gave it to you?!”  you yelled from under your truck as you put the oil drain plug back in its hole. You slid out from under the truck and stood up, wiping the oil off your hands with a rag.  You walked over to the table Dean was sitting at. All 4 rings were lying in front of him. 

Dean held a beer out for you. “ With one condition,” he said. You took the beer and opened it. He took a drink of his. 

“ Well spit it out.” you took a drink.

“ Sam says yes and puts Lucifer back in the cage.”

“Oh. Of course.” 

You guys turned as you heard something slide across the floor by the garage door.

“Bobby,” Dean said. “How’d it go at the Rockette’s audition?”

Bobby laughed. “Kicks were too low. Maybe next year.” You and Dean smiled. “I've been just walking up and down the stairs for no damn reason. I’m kinda sore.” he laughed and sat across the table from Dean. 

“Watch this,” Dean said as he put the rings in a particular order. 1 in the middle the other 3 circled it. He slid the one closest to him up toward the 1 in the middle and the other 2 rings moved automatically toward the center. 

“So, Death told you how to operate them? The whole deal?” Bobby asked. 

“Yeah. It’s freaking crazy.” Dean took a drink “ I have a bigger problem now though.”

“Like?” Bobby asked. You walked back over to your truck and started pouring oil into it. 

“What do you think would happen if someone lied To Death's face?”

“Probably nothing good. What did you tell him?”

“That I wouldn't stand in the way of Sam jumping in the pit.”

“So Death thinks Sam should say yes?”

“He said Sam was the only human that stood a chance against Lucifer.”

“Well you didn't tell me that part,” you said as you threw the empty oil jug in the trash can and walked back over to the table. 

“Of course, he would say that. He works for Lucifer.”

“Against his Will.” You shot back

“Well, we should probably take his word with a big fat grain of fucking salt. I mean he is Death.”

“Exactly he is death.” You said 

“Think of the bird's eye view” Bobby chimed in and you nodded. 

“Seriously?” Dean was getting irritated, 

“I'm just sayin,” Bobby said holding up his hand. 

“Well don’t!” 

“Look.  I know Sam has some flaws, but…” Bobby paused, 

“But?” Dean asked. 

“Back at Niveus. I watched that kid pull one civilian out after another, He must have saved over 10 people. With the help of (y/n),” Bobby nodded at you. “ He never stopped, never slowed down. We’re hard on him, Dean. We always have been. Meanwhile,  He’s been saving people since he was what 12?”

“Pretty much yea,” Dean confirmed.

“Sam has a darkness in him, yes. But he’s got a hell of a lot of good too.” 

“I know that!”

“Then you know Sam will beat the devil or die trying.” Bobby looked at you and then back at Dean. “ And that's the best we can ask for. So I gotta ask you two. What exactly are you guys afraid of? Losing? Or losing Sam?”

You walked out of the garage and looked up to find Sam sitting on the hood of the Impala. You started walking toward him. You knew everything Bobby said was true. You knew there was no going back or trying to talk Sam out of this. It was going to happen. All you could do was enjoy the time you had left. 

“Heeeeyy, You come here often big boy?” you said in a cheesy voice.

He smiled. “Only when you're here hot stuff.” you smiled “Want a beer?” you shook your head.

You took a deep breath. “Look I know I've been a pain in the ass about the whole Lucifer, Cage thing and I’m sorry. I know how hard this has been on you. My attitude and fighting haven't made it any better.”

“I get it. Trust me” He sighed “I let him out (y/n). All the shit that's happened, it’s on me. I have to make this right and put him back in the cage before more people die.”

“Ok.”

“OK?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah. I understand and I’m not gonna fight it anymore. Even though I fucking hate it with every ounce of my soul.”

“I know. I really am sorry I probably shouldn’t have called and let this all happen. I feel like I led you on in a way.”

“Well, you didn’t and I’m glad you called. I would of rather it have gone like this than never knowing how you felt,” you confessed.

He grabbed you and pulled you over to him. He wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your lips. Your arms wrapped around his neck. He rested his forehead against yours.

“(y/n) can you promise me something?” he whispered. 

“Maybe.”

“If I do this. If I win and jump into the cage..” He paused “You and Dean can't try to bring me back.”

“Excuse me?”

“Seriously Babe. What if you start rattling the cage and you let him out again?”

“Sam, I can't just let you rot in a cage with the devil for eternity.”

“You can’t risk it.” your jaw tightened. Damn it, He was right. 

“Please?”

“Fine.”

You heard Dean clear his throat behind you” Get a room.”

Sam laughed. 

“Heya (y/n) can I get a minute with Sam?” 

“Yep.” you gave Sam a peck on the cheek then bent down grabbed a beer and walked away. 

“Hey!” both Winchesters said at the same time. You looked back and stuck your tongue out at them. 

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You pulled up to the abandoned warehouse and saw Bobby standing at the back of his van looking at newspapers. You parked your truck and walked over to him. 

“Hey kiddo, How you holdin' up?”

“Bout the same. Anything good?” 

“Couple things that stood out.” you both turned as you heard the warehouse doors open. Your stomach went queasy when you saw Sam and Castiel holding gallon jugs of blood. Sam’s eyes met yours and he hesitated at the steps. Dean walked up behind him. Sam lowered his head and continued to the Impala. You looked back at the papers Bobby was holding. Dean walked over to you and Bobby. 

“Bobby I just can’t get used to you at eye level.” Bobby gave him a smirk. “(y/n) how ya doin' sweetheart?”

“Just peachy,” you said in a sarcastic tone. 

Dean sighed, “Yeah. You don’t have…” 

“Save it, Dean. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.”

He nodded and then looked at Bobby. “Well, Yoda you were right. 2 stunt demons in there just like you said.”

“Did you get it?” Bobby asked. 

“Yeah. All the go juice Sammy can drink. “Dean replied. Your stomach turned again. 

“You ok?” you asked Dean. 

“Not really. Did you guys find anything?”

“Do these look like omens to you?” Bobby handed Dean the papers as he read the headlines out loud. “Cyclone in Florida, Temperature drop in Detriot, Wildfires in L.A…”

“Wait, Detriot?” you asked as Dean and you looked at each other and then back at Bobby. 

Bobby’s eyebrows furrowed. “ the temps dropped about 20 degrees, but only in a 5-block radius of downtown Motown.”

“That's the one.” Dean tossed the newspapers in the back of Bobby’s van. “He’s in Detriot.”

“You sure?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah. He’s sure.” you chimed in. You looked over at Sam. The sadness on his face made your stomach twist. You looked back at Bobby. “Van or truck?”

“You think your truck will be okay here?” 

“Should be. If not I know a guy that has a scrap yard. I’ll just fix another one up.” They both smiled. “ I just gotta grab my stuff.” and turned to walk back to your truck. 

You opened the back seat and leaned in to grab your duffle. You felt Sam behind you. “ you know you shouldn’t sneak up on a hunter.” he stayed silent. “Sammy, you ok?” you asked as you turned around and your heart broke. He stood there with his hands in his jacket pockets. Lips drawn in a tight line. His eyebrows pulled up and together. His eyes were so full tears were almost spilling out. You wrapped your arms around him as tight as you could. His arms wrapped around your shoulders.

“ you sure about this?” you asked.

“Yes. I have to.”

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The ride with Bobby was silent. Neither of you wanted to talk about what happened next. 

Both cars parked in an alley across the street from a building in the middle of the temperature-dropped zone. You and Bobby found Lucifer’s hiding place. A dingy dirt dirt-covered white two-story house. 

“We found it. At least 2 dozen demons on guard.” he pointed in the direction. “ Our guess is he’s in there. 

“Alright then, (y/n) Give me a hand would ya?” Dean said as he nodded to the back of the Impala. You followed Dean. He popped the trunk. Your stomach twisted again at the sight of the jugs.

“So on the way here, Sam made me promise something. “ Dean confessed so low you could barely hear him.

“I know he made me promise too.” 

“So you’re getting out?” He asked surprised. 

“ Uh no. I never agreed to that. I just promised I wouldn’t rattle the cage.” 

“Hmm, He told me to go find Lisa and settle down. Live an apple-pie life.” 

Dean was looking over the lifted drunk. He looked down blinking back tears. You peeked around Bobby and Sam were hugging. You felt a sting in your chest. You were not ready for this. 

“Dean, you deserve to be happy. If  Lisa and Ben are that for you then you should go. No one is going to judge you for getting out. And if they do fuck ‘em!” 

He smiled. “Thank you. And what about you?”

Sam walked over to Castiel with his hand out. 

“I don’t know,” you said blinking back tears. Happiness for you was out of the question and you knew it. Dean rubbed your shoulder. 

Sam looked over at you and started walking towards you. Dean patted your shoulder and then walked away. 

“Hey there hot stuff, you come here often?” He said as he approached you. 

You smiled “Only when you’re here, Big boy.” You said with tears sliding down your cheeks. 

He grabbed you and pulled you into his arms. Your arm wrapped around him as you laid your head against his head. You could feel his heart pounding. You inhaled his vanilla and cedar scent for the last time. He lifted your chin with his fingers and wiped away your tears. He brought his lips to your ear. “I love you, always have, always will.” He whispered. And then his lips were on yours, the kiss was quick and sweet, but you could feel through his soft lips meant every word. 

“I love you too Sam.”

He squeezed you one last time. “Do you mind not watching this, (y/n)?” He said as he loosened his hold and put his hands on your cheeks. You nodded as a few tears ran down your cheeks. Sam wiped them away and kissed your forehead. You turned and started walking over to where everyone else was. You wiped your eyes trying to stop crying. 

“You okay?” Dean Asked. 

“No. you?”

“No.” 

No one could say or do anything to make you feel better, the four of you just stood there in silence. Sam slammed the trunk when he finished. He was all jacked up.  “Let’s go!” The blood smeared on his lips brought your nausea back. You started to walk with Sam and Dean, all four men yelled “NO!” and Castiel grabbed your arm.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Please?” Sam pleaded. 

You nod and watch him walk away. Castiel wrapped his arm around you and you leaned your head on his shoulder. 

“Alright we’re here, you sons of bitches, come get it.” you heard Sam yell when they got to the sidewalk.  Two demons walked out the door and grabbed the boys shoving them through the door. You started to take a step.

“(y/n)” Castiel said. Tightening his arm. You didn’t fight him. 

After the longest 3 minutes of your life, you see a flash of bright light explode out of the second-story windows. Then all of a sudden the wind kicked up and you knew Dean had opened the cage. 

The wind stopped within 10 seconds. Was he gone? Like really gone? There was no breakdown into tears, no giant hole feeling in your chest like you thought there would be. Sure you were sad and you knew something had changed, but he didn't feel gone. 

A couple of minutes later Dean came walking out of the house. He kept his head down until he made it to your side of the street. When he looked you in the eyes you saw the extra wetness in his. 

“Well?” Bobby asked when Dean reached you guys.

Dean explained everything that happened. How Lucifer had already known about the rings, How Sam and Lucifer had a battle in Sam’s head, How Lucifer had taken over his body, took the rings, and disappeared. “ I tried to talk him out of it in the last few seconds.”

“Dean.” you tried to tell him it wasn't his fault. 

“I know” He cut you off.  Just then you heard a big commotion coming from down the street you four all looked at each other and headed in that direction.  There was an electronic store with T.V.s in the front window. The banner across the bottom of them said breaking news. 

Reporter: Reports are flooding in a 7.6 earthquake in Portland, 8.1 in Boston, and more in Hong Kong, Berlin, And Tehran. The U.S.G.S. has no explanation but says to expect a six-figure death toll. 

“It’s starting,” Castiel said. 

“You think Genuis?” Dean said sarcastically 

“Dean, you don't have to be an ass.” You chimed in. 

“Sorry,” he said to Cas. “So what do we do now?”

“I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol and wait for the inevitable blast wave.” 

“Well, thank you, Bukowski..” 

“Dean stop.” You were over his attitude. “How do we stop it Cas?”

“We can’t…” Castiel said with a grim look on his face. “Lucifer will meet Michael on the chosen field. And the battle of Armageddon will begin.” 

“Ok, Where’s this chosen field?” Dean asked in a nicer tone. 

“I don’t know” 

“There’s gotta be something we can do,” Dean argued. 

“I’m sorry, Dean, It's over,” Castiel said with glossy eyes. 

“Castiel, We are not giving up!” Bobby walked up beside Dean.”Right, Bobby?” Bobby stood there in a daze. “Bobby?” Dean raised his voice a little. 

“There wasn’t much hope to begin with,” Bobby said shaking his head. “ I don’t know what else to do.”

“Fucking ridiculous” Dean growled and started walking back to the car. The rest of you followed him.

“Hey Cas, Do you mind riding back with Bobby? I need to talk to Dean,” you asked when you got back to the alley.

“Sure,” he said and walked over to Bobby’s van.” 

“ So what do you need to talk about?” Dean asked when after you guys got in. 

“Do you still have Chuck’s number?” 

Dean’s face lit up as he smiled. “ I knew you wouldn’t give up.” He pulled out his phone and searched in his contacts. He hit the green button and put the phone up to his ear. 

“Um, no, Chuck?”  “Who’s Mistress Magda?”  “Yeah, I’ll bet real close. What happened to Becky?” “Boy, you got a whole virgin/hooker thing going on don’t you?” Oh come on Dean you thought. “Sam said yes.” “Did you see where the fight is going down?” Dean rolled his eyes and sighed, “Fuck.”  “Stull Cemtary, wait I know that, It's right outside of Lawrence. Why Lawrence?” “Alright, Do you know of any way to short-circuit this thing?” “Did you see what going to happen next?” “Alright, thanks, Chuck.” He hit the red button. 

“Tomorrow. Noon. You feel like a road trip to Kanas?”

“I'm in. Let me grab my guns.” you went to Bobby’s van to grab your things. You made it back over to the Impala before Bobby and Cas stopped you and Dean.

“You two going someplace?” Bobby yelled as he walked over. “ ya’ll are gonna do somethin’ stupid huh?”

“We are going to talk to Sam.”

“You just don’t give up.” Bobby looked at Dean then you. 

“Bobby, It’s Sam.” You said. 

“ If you couldn’t reach him here,” Castiel chimed in “you're certainly not gonna be able to on the battlefield.”

“Maybe not, But she might be able to. She and I together might do it. And if we have already lost, we don’t  have anything to lose right?”

“I just want both of you to understand. All you are going to see out there is Michael killing Sam.”

“Well then, we aren’t going to let him die alone,” Dean said as he looked at you. You nodded in agreement. You both got in the car and drove off. 

><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><

Dean stopped the car right outside the entrance to the old run-down graveyard. You could see Sam and Adam talking ahead in the distance. 

“You ready?” Dean said pushing a tape in the cassette player. 

“As I’ll ever be.” 

He revved the engine a few times, hit play on the radio, and turned the volume up.

Gunter, Gliben, Glaunchen, Globen come through the speakers as he drives down to his brothers. You and Dean get out of the car. 

“Howdy boys, are we interrupting something?” He says as he closes the door. He motions for you to stay back and he walks closer to Sam. “We need to talk.”

“Dean, even for you this is a whole new level of stupid,” Lucifer said

“I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to Sam.”   “You’re no longer the vessel Dean, you got no right to be here.” Adam cut in

“Adam. If you're in there somewhere I am so sorry.” 

“Adam isn’t here right now.” 

“Well, then you’re next on my list buttercup. Right now I want 5 minutes with him.”

“You little maggot, you are no longer part of this story,” Adam said approaching Dean. You started walking in their direction. 

“Hey ass-but.” you heard Castiel. You looked up to see him and Bobby stand there. Just then Castiel threw a bottle at Adam. Adam caught on fire letting out an eye-piercing scream then vanished. 

“Ass-butt?” Dean asked Cas. 

“He’ll be back and angry, but you got your 5 minutes.”

“Castiel,” Sam said. “Did you just molotov my brother with holy fire?”

Cas raised his hands backing away “Uh no.” 

“No one dicks with Michael, but me!” He snapped his fingers and Castiel exploded spraying pink mist all over Bobby. 

“NO!” you yelled. And Lucifer spun in your direction. 

“Sammy, can you hear me?” Dean asked. 

Lucifer turned to him. “You know, I've tried to be nice.”He walked up to Dean. “For Sammy’s sake, but you are such a pain.” he grabbed Dean by the opening of his jacket. “In my ass.” Lucifer threw Dean into the windshield of the Impala and started back at him. You and Bobby both pulled your guns out and shot at the same time. Lucifer looked at you then turned halfway to Bobby. He looked back at you. He raised both hands and twisted them.  Breaking yours and Bobby’s neck at the same time. Dean looked back and forth between you two as your lifeless bodies dropped to the ground. 

“NOOO!!” Dean yelled. 

“Yes,” Lucifer said grabbing Dean’s ankle and pulling him off the Impala. Punching Dean so hard he busted his lip open. Dean fell onto the Impala. He stood back up, spitting the blood out of his mouth. 

“Sammy, are you in there?”

“Oh, he’s in here alright,” Lucifer said taking another swing at Dean’s face. He fell back down onto the Impala.” and he’s gonna feel me snap all of your bones.” Lucifer landed another punch. This time knocking Dean to the ground. “Every single one.” Lucifer picked Dean up and propped him up against the Impala. Punch, punch, punch punch. After about 12 blows Lucifer stopped. Dean’s face was swollen and bloody.

“Sammy. It’s ok. I'm here.” Dean managed to say. “I'm not going to leave you.” Lucifer punched again. And again. And again. “I'm not gonna leave you.” Dean's voice was muffled from all the swelling and a couple of busted teeth. 

As Lucifer drew his fist back the glare of the window caught his eye. Sam was fighting hard. And then looked down at the army man stuck in the back ashtray. This is what Sammy needed to fuel his fight. He thought of all the good memories he and his brother shared in this car. Shoving the army man in the ashtray while Dean shoved legos in the front vent, carving their initials by the speaker in the rear dash. He thought about all the pranks and road trip sing a longs they had. The time he scared the grab out of Dean who was sleeping in the passenger seat. Dean making him dinner when they were kids. Dean sacrificing his life for Sam’s. He lowered his fist and let go of Dean. Dean fell to the ground. One eye was swollen shut and a broken swollen jaw, and his face was covered in blood. He was almost unrecognizable.

“It’s ok, Dean.” Sam had taken over his body. “It's gonna be ok. I've got him.” he reached into his pocket, grabbed the rings, and tossed them on the ground. “ Bvtmon, Tabges, Babalon.” The ground rumbled and a sinkhole opened. The wind started whipping and the thunder roared loud. 

“Sam, It can’t end this way. I have to fight my brother. You need to step back.” Adam was back. 

“You're gonna have to make me,” Sam yelled He took one last look at Dean, put his arms out, and started to fall. Adam rushed over and grabbed him. But it was too late. They both fell into the pit. With a big flash, the pit closed. The rings lay on the ground where Sam had tossed them. Dean crawled over and just held them. As he started weeping he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and there stood Castiel. 

“Cas, you’re alive?” 

“I'm better than that.” He touched Dean’s forehead and healed him. 

“Cas, Are you god?” Deam asked getting to his feet. 

“That's a nice compliment.” Castiel smiled. “But no. although I believe he did bring me back, New and improved.” He walked over to Bobby and touched his temple. Bobby came back to life. Bobby sat up and Cas nodded at him. He looked back at Dean, who was pointing at you. “I know.” Dean got up and followed Cas over to your body. Castiel bent down and put his fingers on your temple. 

You woke. You sat up and looked around. Sam was gone, really gone. Your heartbeat started to race, your hands began to shake, and You started panting for air as your chest tightened. Dean plopped down beside you pulling you into a bear hug.

“Shhh. Deep Breath (y/n).” Dean said in a calming voice. But the tears were coming and you couldn't stop them. You started bawling into Dean’s Chest. 

><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><

You were sort of relieved when you got back to your truck. The whole ride here with Dean had been silent. You grabbed your stuff out of his backseat and threw it in yours. Dean and Bobby were standing by the tailgate. 

“Well..” Dean said. 

“That’s a deep subject,” Bobby remarked. You shook your head and smiled.  “What’s next for you (y/n)?” Dean asked you.

“Not sure,” 

“What about you?” Bobby asked Dean.

“I made a promise,” Dean said walking over to hug you. “If you need anything, and I mean anything.”

“I know Dean,” you said as you hugged him back.

He walked over to Bobby. “You have my number too,” Dean said as he hugged Bobby. “ Keep her outta trouble, will ya?” 

“I do.” Bobby smiled. “I can try, but I'm only one man.” Dean chuckled. Bobby looked at you. “You coming back to the house?”

“Eventually.” you needed some space right now. 

“Just be careful,” Bobby said as he hugged you. 

“Always.” you squeezed back. 

Everyone walked to the driver doors of their vehicles. You waved at them then hopped in your truck. 

The three of you drove off in different directions.

[mxqdii]

omg ofc i noticed you’re so smart for putting that in!! and the blurb is so cute too!

i was wondering if you could write something that’s “False God” themed also 🥺💞

absolutely sobbing and throwing up at this request.

(my favorite song on lover is false god)

false god - m.s

pairings: matt reader x singer reader

summary: y/n needs to find a way to express her feelings, so she does what she does best, sings about it. (based off the t.s song 'false god')

warning(s): jealousy issues, attachment issues.

not proofread

"we were crazy to think that this would work, remember how i said i'd die for you?!?" i yell and matt scoffs

he doesn't say anything, instead he just sits there staring out the window.

"i can't talk to you when you're like this" i say, walking away.

i drive back to my house, sitting in my room and grabbing my notebook and a pen

'they all warned us about times like this, they say the road get's hard when you get led by blind faith' i write

sighing, i put down my notebook and call matt to try and make things right, getting no answer.

picking the notebook back up, i continue writing.

'we might just get away with it, the alters in my hips. even if it's a false god, we'd still worship this love'

it's been a week since i've last talked to matt, and since then i haven't been able to stop writing.

i've actually finished the song i was working on and plan on releasing it tonight and perform it on 'saturday night live' tomorrow

matt will be there, and the song is clearly about him so i'm very nervous to see how it'll go.

i've had a lot of time to think this past week and i've realized how grateful i am for being able to love matt, it's something i should worship

he's made me feel real, he's made me feel like heaven's a thing, because being with him just makes me feel that way.

and even though hell is when i fight with him, people have warned us about times like this, and what's love without fights anyways?

it's officially time, i go on stage in 5 minutes.

backstage feels empty and sad without matt there with me to calm my nerves, even though i know he's in the crowd.

chris and nick told me he hadn't listened to the song yet, meaning thsi will be his first time hearing it.

i also know he's seated in the front since i got him VIP a few weeks back.

"introducing, y/n playing her new single, 'false god'!

i hear the speakers say and i rush out waving to the crowd before getting situated at the mic.

i start the performance and avoid all eye contact with matt, until..

we'd still worship this love we'd still worship this love we'd still worship this love

we make direct eye contact and i feel my cheeks flush.

the song goes on and certain parts make me break eye contact with him, scared to see his reaction.

the song eventually ends and i run off stage feeling overwhelmed on if i was too distracted, if the song was good, what others thought.

it gets a little hazy, but suddenly matt shows up backstage and without saying anything, he kisses me.

all of my thoughts fade away as the only thing i'm focused on now is his lips.

"religions in my lips you said?" he says teasingly and i scoff

"shut up" i say with a laugh

"i love you matt, i'm sorry, for everything." i say and he smiles

"still worship this love" he says and i roll my eyes

"matt stop quoting the song!" i protest and start laughing

a/n: this took 2 HOURS because of my lack of idea, but overall i think i'm happy with it, i love this song and it holds a very special place in my heart.

[raviolirash]

Do you insert any of yourself into your OCs? Maybe some more than others? Or are all they completely different people than you?

(I'm struggling to make an OC that's not very self-insert like)

This might get rambly lol

I don't care if a character is a self-insert most of the time. As long as it's not shit like YIIK where it's Rantsona: The Game but we don't have time for that rant.

I think putting your own biases and lived experiences into OCs is ultimately unavoidable, and each of my OCs definitely carries a piece of me. They deal with themes of not having an identity after years of abuse, toxic parents, struggling to not become bitter and jaded and cynical, being an outsider and a foreigner, a lot of anger. But they're barely anything like me as a person irl if that makes sense.

I'd wager that a lot of popular hero fictional characters are self inserts at heart. When writing heroes people tend to write characters they want to be. And ain't nothing wrong with that. I also think it's great to base your characters on traits you admire in other people. A hack I guess is to spread it out. Take one trait of yours, make it a flaw, and have the narrative deal with it. But ultimately: fuck all the rules just have fun with it.

Here's my children in brief and how I shaped them in case it helps. Under a ReadMore because jesus christ this got incredibly LONG. I have terminal brainworms. Thanks Larian.

Dalia is a fool. A wood-elf druid who grew up outside of society and was never subjected to any cruelty of the world until the tadpoles happened. She completely unironically believes that she can fill the Hells with flowers. It's a character flaw in the beginning, but turns to an admirable strength as somehow she isn't completely jaded after the harsh journey. She is changed and stronger, but she never became bitter.

On the opposite end, Raga is a tiefling thrown out of the city who is just bitter at the world and wants to become a Creature. Astarion seems normal compared to them. People already stare at them in disgust and fear so why stop. Fuck it! Eat worms! Oh no, I don't want to become a full mind flayer and lose more than I already have. I want to live. Oh shit, oh fuck. Make it stop!

Vėlė is my problem child. I don't need to get into the harsh and dogmatic drow society and make this post longer. Prior to the story she had never been given a painless space to explore her own ideas, or question them, or be taught that they are wrong. As a result she struggles with everything. She is always conflicted about what the right choice is. In the end, she no longer fights to survive for only her own survival as she had been taught. She now fights to survive so that she can fight for her friends and people who can't hold a sword.

Then you go from there when shaping their personalities and speaking patterns and habits they have and mannerisms etc. They might be based on me in their own ways, but none of these chucklefucks speak the way I do. And it's a fun thing to sit down and figure out what kind of person their respective societies would spit out.

Vėlė is a master of survival, and that includes a sharp silver tongue that I wish I had instead of being stunlocked. She will make very bad choices with good intentions because she's struggling to fight a worldview that has done more harm than good. She would be eloquent, as choosing the wrong word meant death back home. When in a relaxed environment like talking to her companions at the end of the night, that stiffness gradually fades away as she can shut off Survival Mode. You might actually hear a joke.

Dalia would be terrible at Common, in turn focusing more on giving gifts and practicality instead of trying to form a sentence when it comes to bonding with her new companions. She struggles as a leader, not being the best speaker. She will always choose to make her point with actions instead. Dalia is not dumb by any means. Ah yes. The struggle of having to do 5D math in order to express yourself in another language. That's nice.

Raga is just angry but a lot of that anger does come from an identity crisis as they have no idea who they are. So it translates to the more they speak the less time to eat worms and modify their body. You can't lose yourself and replace yourself if there was nothing there to begin with. But plot twist: there was something there to begin with.

I better stop this post here thanks for reading lol.