#so will reply to things soon >:3 thank you for well wishes♥︎

[capn-twitchery]

i am 26 now, or something, woaugh

[bluebeads-art]

your art is so amazing !!! i adored the 3d printed stuff (as someone who has had to design myself 3d printed merch before because i don't usually have much access to the merch in my fandom lol), it's so good?? and all your coloring is beautiful <3

all this to say it might not seem like i reblog much but rest assured all the stuff i liked (or didn't) went into my queue a few times over hehehe. i LOVE your art it's amazing <3

wishing you luck with the identity and health stuff, even if it doesn't get better i hope you find happiness within it 🫡

gah this got away from me sorry for the ramble

aaaaaaa I saw this message in a notification on my phone, said "I'll read that when I actually have time to reply," then the notification got dismissed somehow and if there's no notification prompt to remind me of something, it no longer exists to me. It's been a month I'm so sorry ^^;;

Thank you so much! I wish it was easier to convert more of my stuff to be 3D printable, but my usual modeling style is not watertight in the slightest and disregards gravity entirely. 😆 3D modeling has always been really cool to me because there's so many different workflows depending on what you're trying to make. Keeps things from getting stale!

Speaking of differences, I feel like people don't tend to mention my coloring. :0 I think my line art usually steals the show, heh. I used to be a lot more conscious about color theory and shading when I was younger, but these days there's no thoughts, only vibes 😂

Ok the line, "even if it doesn't get better i hope you find happiness within it" hit me unexpectedly hard (in a good way). Any nice messages I get always means a ton to me, but while I don't seem to be able to articulate why at the moment, I think that line will stick with me for much longer than usual. Thank you so much ♥

---

Speaking more generally (this message just gave me a good excuse to talk, heh)- spoilers; the artist in my brain refuses to die. So after, like, a literal year of not touching it, I've started working again on a 3D modeling project that I started in 2021 that has been haunting me ever since. Been trying to redesign a robot OC of mine Rayner, and I'm really particular about wanting his joints to work in a physical space instead of bending the rules artistically. I'm Really bad at designing complex hard surface objects in flat 2D though. However, there's a reason artists tell you not to character design in 3D, and that's because it's slow, it's easy to lose design cohesion, and most importantly it just sucks, awful workflow. But I am Doing it. And while I was super stuck for years and almost developed a friggin phobia of the project, I am now Doing It. And it's actually working out this time. The 3D model itself is MILES from being done, but the design almost is, and while that's a boring end result for other people, it represents a huge milestone and accomplishment for me in many ways.

I've been drawing a little bit lately too! But I feel my social media hiatus has given me a healthier relationship with posting? Like I have a few doodles that I could either post now or post soon, but I don't feel the same pressure to anymore? Where even if I never post them, I think I'm fine with that. I've always thought I made art for myself, but that's not exactly true because I was also making art for the sake of sharing. And while I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I think being able to separate the two and be content with simply just creating is healthy. Also I'm still not as active on social media in general anymore which is probably healthier as well LOL.

So I'll prrrobably start posting again soon-ish now that I've broken this blog's posting silence? Not sure how to wrap this monologue up. My physical health problems are going to keep on probleming, but in terms of artistic fulfillment I've been in a much better place this past month, and that's a huge yeehaw from me 👍

[amistytown]

Hello Noelle :'3

Thank you for your kind words T^T I currently don't have any energy to interact with anyone, but I want you to know that your replies meant a lot to me. Thank you so much...

I'll try to take things slow and finish things one by one. I'm hoping to take a break this weekend because I feel like my procrastination issue is signalling something else so I might need to take an early break to prevent any burnout phase in the future.

Again, thank you so much :'3 I hope you're doing okay and resting well. I'll be reading your new fic soon ><

HAN ♥♥♥

Please don't worry and take care of yourself!!! You're working hard and have a lot on your plate, so you need to relax when you can. I will always be here to cheer you on, and I'm glad they mean a lot to you ;; Just hearing that makes me happy!

And it's definitely good to take a break when you're able. You need to get plenty of rest and take care of yourself! Your studies are important, but your health is even more so!!! So don't feel guilty taking time for yourself, especially when you're not feeling your best.

Thank you so much! I'm glad to hear from you and wishing the best! Good luck with your day and remember you're awesome and loved!

[sugdenlovesdingle]

Married affair -  part 3 (AO3) Part 2, Part 1

------------

“Yeah you like that don’t you?” Aaron asked a giggling Eve as he bounced her up and down his arms and pulled funny faces at her. “You’re always smiling you.” He blew a raspberry on her tummy. “Just like Seb as a baby. Always happy. You’re going to meet him soon. And your other big brother too. You’ll love them I’m sure. I know I do.”

He moved Eve in his arms to free up a hand to get his phone from his pocket.

“Do you want to take a selfie? We can send it to him and tell him you’re excited to meet your brother and cousin… Though Seb is technically your nephew isn’t he? We’ll just call him your cousin, that’s easier.” He unlocked his phone and activated the camera. “Smile.” He tickled Eve and snapped a few pictures to send to Robert.

- This little lady is really excited to be meeting her other big brother and her cousin soon.

Cousin? Who is her cousin?

- Seb. We just decided to call him her cousin. It’s easier.

Robert’s reply was a facepalming emoji combined with a laughing face and a heart.

Tell her we’re looking forward to meeting her too.

- Is Seb with you?

Not yet. I’m leaving in a bit. Wish you could come with…

- Me too. But I can’t just leave Eve on her own. And Paddy would have a meltdown if I took her any further than the picnic table outside.

I know. See you tonight?

- Of course. Miss you both. ♥

Miss you too.

I just officially told the landlord I’m leaving btw. Handing in the key at the end of the week.

- Seriously??? You’re coming home???

Yeah. Wendy is getting served in the next few days and Seb is with us where he belongs… so Emmerdale beware.

- Can’t wait to have you back home. Both of you. Though Seb’s going to have to share with Isaac and Kyle. Maybe we should get bunk beds… I’ll have a look at IKEA when I can.

We’ll figure something out.

“Hi love, thanks for watching Eve for a bit.” Chas said as she walked into the backroom followed by Paddy.

“Sure. No problem. She’s been as good as gold. We took some selfies didn’t we?” Aaron said and pulled a face at Eve to make her laugh.

Chas smiled.

“You’re so good with her. You’re going to be a great dad one day.”

Aaron bit the inside of his cheek but smiled at his mother.

“Yeah…”

“What are you doing this Sunday?” Chas asked, oblivious to Aaron’s state of mind.

“Uhm��� nothing I suppose…”

“Great! How about you ask your Jacob to come over for a family dinner? So Paddy and I can get to know him.”

“You what?”

“I’d like to meet the man that’s making my son so happy.”

“Right.”

“So… are you going to invite him then?”

“And have everyone stick their nose in? I don’t think so.”

“What? Oh come on Aaron, why not? It’ll be nice to get to know him! We don’t know anything about him. Tell him Paddy.”

“I uh.. Well.. it uh… I… your mum… I mean… we…. He uh… We don’t even know his last name! What’s his last name?”

“Really? That’s what you want to know?” Aaron asked, trying to hide the panic in his voice.

“Well uh… it’s a start?”

“Yes. Exactly.” Chas agreed. “And if I know his full name I can look him up on Facebook. So I can see what my son in law to be looks like.”

“He’s not on social media.” Aaron said quickly. “It’s not his thing.”

“Oh… right… well.. show us a picture then. Surely you have some on your phone?” Chas pushed.

“No. He’s uh… he’s shy. He doesn’t like me taking photos of him.”

“Oh… that’s a shame…” Chas said and then seemed to come to a decision. “You’ll just have to invite him round for Sunday dinner then.”

“I uh… he might be busy.”

“Tell him to clear his schedule then. I want to meet him.” Chas insisted.

“I’ll ask him…” Aaron said and rolled his eyes when his mother kept giving him an expectant look. “I’ll ask him right now…”

- Mum and Paddy want you to come over for Sunday dinner…

- I tried to talk her out of it but she wants to meet the man that’s making me so happy…

Seriously? She’ll kill me. What do we do?

- I don’t know… tell her you’ll come? And deal with the fall out?

… any other ideas?

- Do you???

No…

Maybe we can book a table at a restaurant? She can’t cause a scene in a public place, right?

Aaron snorted.

- You have met my mother, right? If she wants to she’ll cause a scene anywhere, any time.

Public place + Seb?

- That… might actually work…

Using our son as a buffer for a meal with your parents… top class parenting.

Aaron smiled at Robert referring to Seb as their son instead of just his.

- He’s only 3. He won’t remember. 😉

- So Sunday then?

Yeah alright. I’ll book us something.

- Alright. I’ll tell them.

- See you tonight x

“Well? Is he coming?”

“He uh… suggested we’d have dinner at a restaurant instead of here. So we’d all meet on neutral territory.”

Chas considered the suggestion for a minute.

“Alright. Fine. We can do a restaurant, can’t we Paddy?”

“Yes, yes we uh can do that. Bear can look after Evie.”

“Yeah alright. So what restaurant are we going?”

“He uh, he said he’d book something and let me know. So I can let you two know.”

“He’s not one of those vegan pal.. pale… pali… palea? One of those people with a complicated diet! And a man bun.” Paddy giggled. “And wears shoes with no socks. And more make up than your mum.” He added and Chas glared at him.

“He’s just a normal guy. No weird diet, no man bun… just a normal guy.”

“Well just tell him we’re looking forward to meeting him.” Chas settled on.

“Yeah. Sure.” Aaron got up from the sofa and passed Eve to Chas. “I have to go. Stuff to do.” He said and turned to leave but Paddy stopped him.

“You never told us his surname.”

“Really? You’re still on that?”

“Oh just tell him Aaron or he’ll spend the rest of the day speculating on the name.” Chas sighed.

“Fine… it’s uh… It’s… Jackson.” Aaron said, priding himself on the quick thinking.

“Jacob Jackson?” Paddy giggled. “JJ! I’ll call him JJ then.”

“Please don’t.”

- Your name is Jacob Jackson now. Paddy wants to call you JJ. Don’t ask.

Jackson???

- Yeah. As in… Jack’s son.

Your mum is going to kill you.

A few days later, they’d packed up what little belongings Robert had in his flat, as well as Seb’s stuff and loaded it into the Porsche.

“Ready to go home?” Aaron asked after strapping Seb in his car seat.

“More than ready.” Robert replied and kissed him. “I just hope I live to see it after this dinner with your mum.”

“It’ll be fine.” Aaron said and hoped he was right.

When the three of them got to the restaurant and a waiter led them to their table, Aaron was happy to see his mum and Paddy weren’t there yet. He’d told them they’d booked the table half an hour later than they actually had, but he wouldn’t have put it past his mum to arrive early to set up an ambush to meet “Jacob.”

They ordered drinks and the waiter brought Seb a little colouring book and crayons as part of the kids menu.

Aaron could tell Robert was nervous and reached over the table to squeeze his hand.

“It will be fine.”

Robert huffed but didn’t reply.

“I don’t care what they’ll say or do. You and Seb are my family and if they don’t like it, then that’s their problem.”

“You say that now…”

“And I’ll keep saying it. Because it’s true.”

“I just… I  don’t want to cause trouble for you with your parents.”

Aaron shrugged.

“There’s always some kind of drama in this family, you know that. What’s one more?”

“Hmm…”

“If it gets really bad, we’ll just leave and go home. I’m not sitting here listening to them insulting you or our family.”

“Or if all else fails, we could head back to the flat.”

“No. We’re not hiding in some dodgy flat. And we already handed in the key anyways.”

They chatted for a bit while they waited for Chas and Paddy to arrive.

“Daddy.” Seb half whispered, wriggling in his seat, pulling on the sleeve of Aaron’s shirt. “Daddy.”

“What is it mate?”

“I have to pee.”

Aaron smiled and put his drink down.

“Alright, let’s go sort that then.”

“No, you stay here. I’ll go.” Robert insisted, getting up from the table.

“Are you afraid my mum and Paddy will get here before I’d get back with him?” Aaron asked, amused.

“Absolutely.” Robert said and took Seb’s hand to go find the toilets.

Aaron chuckled to himself and took another sip of his wine when he saw Chas and Paddy coming in. He waved them over and greeted them both with a hug.

“You look nice.” He told his mother.

“She bought this dress especially.” Paddy told him. “The tag is still on and everything.” He pulled the carefully hidden tag out of Chas’ dress.

“Paddy. Put. It. Back.” Chas hissed and Paddy decided to do as she demanded. “So is Jacob not here yet?” she asked, looking at the empty table.

“Oh no, no he is. He’s just… in the toilets. His son had to pee…”

“He brought his son too?” Chas looked around the restaurant. “This is no place for a three year old is it? It’s not McDonald’s.”

“We just thought it would be nice to include him… he’s part of the family too.”

Chas raised her eyebrows at Aaron’s use of the word family but didn’t say anything.

“So what’s the son’s name?” Paddy asked as they sat down. “Junior? So he’ll be Jacob Jackson Junior. JJJ.” He laughed at his own comment.

Aaron looked over Chas’s head and noticed Robert and Seb making their way back to their table.

“Just… keep an open mind when you meet him, ok? Them. Both of them. Please. He is the love of my life and he makes me happier than I’ve ever been.”

“Of course love.” Chas patted his hand and followed Aaron’s line of sight.

He could pin point the exact moment she noticed and recognised Robert.

“Hi Chas… Paddy…” Robert said when he reached the table and helped Seb get back in his seat. “Been a while.” He gave her a nervous smile that made Aaron want to reach out and wrap him in a hug.

“What’s going on here? Where is Jacob? Your boyfriend?” Paddy asked, confused.

“You’re looking at him. Only he’s my husband, not just my boyfriend.” Aaron explained as Robert sat down.

“You lied to us. I thought you had met a nice man and you just let me believe it.” Chas said after a few minutes. “That’s his influence.” She pointed at Robert. “He’s back and my sweet boy is gone.”

“Weren’t you in prison?” Paddy asked Robert.

“I was. But it turned out I didn’t do anything. So they let me out.” Robert replied, giving him the short version of events.

“And now you’ve wormed your way back in his life and you’re putting him against his family. Making him lie to us. Make up stories just to cover your tracks.” Chas spat.

“Ok. Stop. I don’t want you talking to my husband like that. Especially not in front of our son.” Aaron said, stroking Seb’s head, both for emphasis and to put the boy at ease.

“I never told him to lie to you.” Robert tried but Aaron could tell Chas was gearing up for a fight.

“And I never lied to you.” Aaron cut in. “Everything I’ve told you is true.”

Chas frowned.

“Oh really? Your new boyfriend Jacob who just moved to Hotten? That’s him?” She nodded at Robert.

“Yeah. Yes it is.”

“I… I’m confused. Has he changed his name to Jacob? Have you changed your name to Jacob?”  Paddy asked.

“I don’t have to. It already is my name. Robert Jacob Sugden.”

“And he is Jack’s son. Jackson.” Aaron added. “And he has a three year old son. And he moved to Hotten a few months ago from down south. The Isle of Wight.”

“I don’t believe this.”

“I told you I hadn’t met someone new but you wouldn’t listen.”

“But you were perfectly happy to let me believe it, weren’t you?”

“You believed what you wanted to believe.” Aaron sighed. “But you said yourself that you haven’t seen me this happy in a long time… the reason is sitting right there.” He reached across the table to take Robert’s hand. “He’s the love of my life mum. We’re no good without each other.”

“But… why did you move to Hotten? Why not come back to Emmerdale?” Paddy asked Robert.

“I… we… had to sort some things out first. Legal stuff.”

“Legal stuff? What have you dragged him into now?!” Chas demanded.

“Legal stuff like me officially becoming Seb’s parent, and Seb officially living with us full time.” Aaron told her. “And a restraining order on Wendy Posner for our whole family.”

“That woman has done nothing wrong. You can’t blame her for the things her son did.”

“She did nothing wrong? She harassed Vic and the rest of our family for months. The fact that she’s even living in the village and everyone treats her like the friendly lady from down the street is a slap in the face.”

“Vic doesn’t mind. She lets her be Harry’s nana.”

“Neither of us can decided for Vic who she does and doesn’t want in her son’s life.” Robert started. “But all I know is that I don’t want her in that of our son. She has probably received the papers by now. She has to stay 10 meters away from us at all times from now on. The same goes for Luke.”

“And you’re just going along with that?” Chas asked Aaron. “Luke is my employee. How is that supposed to work?”

“Not our problem.” Aaron said simply. “We just want to protect our family.”

“Your family? What about your actual family? Me, your sister, Paddy, Liv.”

“Liv knows. She figured it out herself.”

“She’s smart that one.” Paddy commented, earning him a glare from Chas.

“I can’t believe you fell for his tricks again. He’s got you wrapped around his little finger again. Having you turn your back on your family.”

“I’m not turning my back on anyone.” Aaron told her. “But if you make me choose… I can promise you, you’re not going to like my choice.”

“Are you ready to order?” A waiter asked, walking up to their table.

“Ah no not yet. Sorry.” Robert said quickly, trying to get him to leave.

“Actually.” Aaron got up from the table. “I think we’ll just go.” He shrugged his jacket on and helped Seb put on his and chucked some money on the table for the drinks. “I think I fancy pizza. The frozen ones we have at home.” He grabbed Seb’s hand and held his free hand out for Robert. “Ready to go home, mister Sugden-Dingle?”