#so why were these two (plus their boss) chosen to be the go-between with humans 💀

[propheticpidgeon]

The best ‘totally not vampires 100% human humans’ in all of France

[kill-your-authors]

I’ve thought a lot about The Guard and their immortality. They don’t know why they have immortality and they don’t know why they lose it, but there is the underlying implication that there ARE answers even if The Guard doesn’t know them. I’m going to attempt to offer a theory that would answer these questions.

We know because of the script reveal that there is nothing biologically different between them and the rest of humanity. There’s also this implication of destiny, that they are meant to find each other because of their dreams, and if we are to believe that destiny is such a thing within this world, then that means EVERYTHING that happens is destined. We know Lykon lost his immortality even though he became immortal after Andy, so what determines when they lose their immortality has nothing to do with being the oldest. We also know Andy lost her immortality after she learned that Quynh is still drowning. Obviously, I am choosing not to consider the script here, because the script would suggest she lost it when Nile became immortal, not after Nile’s dream. (And I’m choosing to take into consideration parts of the screenplay and not others for a reason even though it could make my theory less credible.)

That being said, my theory is this means that all of them are “chosen” by destiny to be immortal because of their capacity for goodness and faith in humanity. When they lose one of these two things, the capacity for goodness or more likely their faith in humanity, they lose their immortality. This is why Andy outlived Lykon, despite having been alive long before him, and why she loses her immortality now. Her faith in humanity was already on its way out, and then Nile has that dream, confirming that Quynh has not escaped, and has not died, and is still drowning over and over drowning, 500 years later. This drains her of any remaining faith, and she loses her immortality.

This brings me to why Joe and Nicky become immortal at the same time rather than centuries apart like all the others.

First, there’s Nicky, who was not good when he died. But if we believe destiny exists in this world, then it doesn’t matter that he wasn’t good when he died - all that matters is that he would BECOME good.

And the reason they come into immortality is not just because they died at the same time, but because individually neither of them fulfill the requirements for immortality, but together they both do. Nicky would not have become good if it weren’t for Joe and Joe would not have the faith in humanity that he does if not for witnessing Nicky change. They both together had the capacity to fulfill the requirements eventually, but apart wouldn’t have, so they became immortal together.

This is why I believe they will lose their immortality together. This fandom likes to headcanon about what will happen when one loses it before the other, when one dies before the other, and that can be interesting to theorize about, but I really believe that won’t happen. If one were to lose what makes them good, or what gives them faith in humanity, the other would immediately lose it too. They are both good people who have faith in humanity directly BECAUSE the other is also good and also has faith in humanity. They can’t fulfill both requirements without the other doing so too.

That brings me to Booker, Quynh and Nile.

With Booker, it’s obvious he doesn’t want to live, but I don’t think that means he’s lost his capacity to do good or that he has no faith in humanity. He betrayed the guard in the movie, but he believed he was doing good and he believed millions of people would benefit from it. Plus, he immediately acknowledges his mistake. When Andy tells him how long his exile is, he says, “Hoped for less, expected more” and when Andy tells him Nile wanted to let him off with an apology, he says, “Give her time,” as if to suggest she will one day understand, just as he does, why an apology isn’t enough. This means that his capacity for good is completely unbiased, even for himself. He is not even his own exception to doing the right thing. So, whether you like Booker or not, it is clear that, at heart, he is still good and still has faith in humanity.

Then there’s Quynh, who we don’t know a lot about yet, from the movie. In the comics, when she resurfaces she believes that The Guard exists to make humanity suffer. I think it’s safe to say that if the sequel, assuming there is one, goes in that direction, Quynh isn’t good and doesn’t have faith in humanity. If she immediately lost her immortality in the sequel, that would lend credence to my theory, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. So if she believes it’s her purpose to make humanity suffer, and she doesn’t lose her humanity, then my theory is arguably wrong. But I feel the need to bring up destiny again, and the fact that when Nicky became immortal he was also a bad person doing harm to humanity. Since that’s true, I think it stands to reason that if Quynh both intends to make humanity suffer AND keeps her immortality in the sequel, it is because that is destined to change, just like Nicky was destined to change. Also, the fact that when Nicky was doing harm to humanity, he honestly BELIEVED he was doing what he had to do, was meant to do, was right to do - and the same thing would be true for Quynh, I think it’s possible beliefs play a role in their ability to gain/maintain immortality too. Even misguided beliefs. They are allowed to make mistakes and lose their way as long as it’s destined they make up for those mistakes and find their way back.

That leaves Nile. When Nile dies, Andy says something along the lines of, “Why now? It’s been over 200 years.” (This has always stuck out to me. Why would she say it’s been “over 200 years” like that’s an exceptionally long time to go without a new immortal? There was 700 years between Joe and Nicky and Booker. It’s implied there were hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of years between Andy and Quynh, and then Quynh and Lykon. What she really should be saying is, “Why now? It’s ONLY been 200 years.” But either way, this line helps make my case, so…)

I bring this up because it makes it clear that when new immortals show up is completely random. There is no way to predict when a new one will arrive or why or IF there’s a why, though it’s overtly implied there is at this exact moment because Nicky answers Andy with, “Everything happens for a reason, Boss.”.

But if it really is determined by capacity for goodness and faith in humanity, then that’s obviously why it’s random. It will only happen when someone who is born destined to be good and believe in humanity dies. Even if when they become good and find faith in humanity is well after initially gaining their immortality, and whether it’s been 200 or 5000 years since the last. So the reason it’s Nile when it’s Nile is because Nile has that capacity for goodness and faith in humanity and she died when she was destined to die.

But why was she destined to die then? Like I said, if one thing in this universe is destined, then EVERYTHING in this universe is also destined because that’s how destiny works.

Andy tells Nile, “I think I lost my immortality when you showed up,” and then explains to Nile she thinks that was so she could be “reminded of what it’s like.” I believe Andy believes that, but I don’t agree. I think the real reason Nile died when Nile died, and not earlier or much later, is because Nile is the one who revived Andy’s faith in humanity. She tells Andy as she’s rescuing her, “I’ve seen it, Andy” in reference to Copley’s board, and she says to her later, “Maybe this is ‘the why’ Andy,” meaning, the reason they don’t die is because they are the only ones good enough to help humanity for millennia, even when it’s not obvious they’re helping for literal centuries, and even when it appears that humanity doesn’t deserve it, or isn’t getting better. They are the ones who have this great capacity for good and who have enough faith in humanity to DO good FOR humanity even when there’s no obvious proof they SHOULD have faith in humanity and they are the only ones who would not do nothing with their immortality, or worse, consciously harm humanity with their immortality.

Which brings me to one last thing: why does it matter if Nile revives Andy’s faith in humanity after she already lost her immortality?

Because…maybe…if she’s still good…and rediscovers faith in humanity…she can get her immortality back.

I hope there’s the tiniest possibility my theory is right for this reason alone.

[dimensionwriter]

Mechanical Heart

Part Seven

Male Android x F! Reader

Warning: None

Word Count: 1852

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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

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You gripped the handles on your office chair as Axel stood in front of you with his arms folded. You didn’t know if you were supposed to talk first or him, but whatever was supposed to happen hasn't yet, only leaving you in this insufferable silence.

“I’m sorry for earlier,” you whispered, staring down. Axel still stood there and didn’t move a muscle. “I know you were trying to help me and I was being over emotional again. I’ll try to improve myself.”

Axel finally moved. He uncross his arm and walked forward. Squatting down, he rested his arms on the desk while leaning towards you. Your head was still down, afraid of what he was going to type.

He leaned forward a little more until his upper half was on the desk. You shrunk into the seat as his screen was right there in front of your face. You flickered your eyes up to see words flooding his screen.

“You aren’t over emotional, you’re perfectly fine. Emotions are perfectly normal for humans. It’s just me who needs to adapt to it,” he wrote in the same normal font, but had some curve to it. You scooted up in your chair as you shook your head at him.

“No, you’re fine too. I need to understand your morals too,” you spoke with a reassuring smile. He dropped his screen onto his folded arms. “I guess we both got to just get used to working with someone of the other species.”

Axel's head dropped down slightly as his finger balled into a fist. He seemed to be battling to say something. Quietly shaking his head, he lifted his screen proudly up and began to type. “Yeah, it’s just that I think I’m starting to feel-”

The door slid open and you both jumped. Axel almost fell off the desk before standing straight up. You leaned back into the chair to seem normal.

Spinning the chair nonchalantly towards the door, you were met with Screw standing at the door. A neutral face emoticon came onto their screen as they rotated their head between Axel and you.

“I hate to ruin your moment, but we need to do a drug bust and you two were the ones chosen,” he wrote slowly while tilting his screen from Axel and you. You hoped he wasn't getting the wrong idea right now.

"Of course, give us the address we will be right there," you said in what you thought was a normal voice, but it was pitched up and spoken too fast. You jumped out of your chair and walked towards Screw.

"I sent it to Axel," he wrote in a big font while looking at Axel. Axel gave a swift nod in understanding. He turned around and walked over to a cabinet in the corner that held all your weapons and supplies.

Tapping your shoulder, you turned around to see Screw writing extremely fast on his screen. "I see you two loose screws finally talked it out. And about what you asked for earlier, I changed my mind. I think it would be a lot more fun if you didn't have it. I prefer for the tension to keep rising."

Tension? What tension was he talking about? You know what, this is Screw you're talking about.

"I actually didn't want it anymore, anyways. And I don't know what you mean by tension, but I'm sure it will go away," you whispered with your head held high. A laughing emoticon appeared on his face followed by a gif of a lady smirking.

"Oh trust me, this tension will grow even more. I shall enjoy watching every moment of it," he said with an exaggeration in his use of cursive. Lifting a hand, you boldly flicked his screen. He may be your boss, but he sure doesn't act like it.

A hand grabbed your shoulder and spun you around. Axel was standing there with a bunch of equipment in his hand. He placed a majority of it on the table before leaving only what looked to be a bulletproof tank top.

"Lift your arms," he wrote slowly raising up the vest. Was he about to dress you? You are not a little child, plus you don't need one of those.

"Axel, I'm not putting that on," you said nicely while gently pushing it away. An opposing force went against you causing the tank top to be pushed towards you.

"They might have guns and you can be damaged if struck with a bullet," he wrote slowly pushing it towards you. You shook your head and pushed it harder.

A bullet proof tank top is a lot better than the old vest they used to use. However, it was still uncomfortable to wear and restricted a lot of your upper movement. You wanted to be at the top of your game for Axel. You didn't need anything holding you back.

"Please, put on the protective gear," he wrote with that sharper font with a slight red gradient at the bottom of his word. It's the chair situation all over again. However, this time you won't be a brat about.

"Fine, I'll put on the vest. But there's no way in hell I'm putting on the pants," you growled out pointing to the familiar fabric on the table. It was the equivalent of cement formed like pants.

Axel glanced at the pants then back at the tank top. Numbers began flowing across his face as he stared down at the tank top in his hands. His head spun 90 degrees to the pants on the table.

"After calculating all the possibilities, it would be safest for you to put on this item due to most of your internal organs being there. Although, I will bring the pants along in case of an emergency." He scrolled down a little to allow you to see the words. You narrowed your eyes at him and crossed your arms.

"I'm not wearing the pants," you said firmly. Axel froze as he looked around the room. His eyes landed on something causing you to look over too. He seemed to be focusing on the bean bag in the corner.

"If you wear the pants, I will get the second chair," he proposed with the word 'chair' bolded. How lowly does Axel view your will power? You were not some weak minded human. It's not like he would even use the chair like you intended, so why would you cave in?

You stood in front of Screw with the bullet proof tank top and pants on. Your old black police jacket was thrown on top black.

"Hey, Screw. When are we getting our new department jackets?" You asked pointing with your thumb to the back of your jacket. It's kind of weird that you guys made a big deal about the combining, but the public still sees you in your old uniform.

"We're working on a design," they wrote in an italicized font that wasn't as dramatically cursive like their usual one. Their screen turned behind you before turning back to you. Why were they acting so weird?

A pair of arms wrapped around your waist before you were slightly tugged back into a firm chest. You stood there in shock as Axel leaned closer to you. His screen had a slight pink hue to it that was barely noticeable; his screen appeared to be black, but there was a light pink colour reflecting off his jacket.

"Um, Axel?" You asked tilting your head forward to look at his face. Axel seems hesitant to turn his screen towards you.

"I was putting on the utility belt for you. Or would you prefer only the gun holster?" His words were written in that same old grey times new roman font making his intention feel innocent, but the arms around your waist and feeling of his body around yours said otherwise.

Stop it. He's an android. He doesn't know any better. Don't even begin to think that this is supposed to be intimate. It's normal.

"Oh, yeah I think the holster would be fine," you wheezed out with a forced smile. His arms departed from you and you let out a small breath you didn't know you were holding.

"So… are you going to keep denying this tension?" As soon as you read the words, they made them disappear. "Yeah, this mission shouldn't be that bad. Lots of reports about this building that we believe could be a hideout of some drug dealers."

It felt like you got whiplash from how fast they changed that attitude. You did need that information because Axel didn't seem like the type to give you everything and just shorten it. However, how can they go from talking about this random tension to the mission?

Axel's arms slowly slithered around your waist and once again, you were slightly tucked into his chest. You pretended he wasn't there as Screw continued to give information.

We were to first scoop around the area and see if there's truly anything suspicious. There is already confirmation, but we just need to be sure.

Wow, Axel is taking a while to put this thing on.

With confirmation, we will try to break it up and arrest everyone. Scan their faces to put it into the program. If we need backup-

Axel's body was definitely closer and his screen was laying against your shoulder. He's an android. He's an android. He doesn't do emotions like that.

There are polices stationed around just in case things get out of hand. So we just have to tap the backup button on my holster or Axel just send it out. It should go smoothly, just in case.

Axel finally slid away and you felt like you just ran a marathon. Your heart felt like it was trying to fight your rib cage right now. Not to include sweat pouring out of every pore.

"Officer, are you okay?" Screw wrote in bold letter and that bright gold colour. The cursive was so exaggerated that you could tell it was written in a teasing tone. As to push their teasing, they released a slight whirring sound that sounded too similar to cackling. "The tension getting to you?"

A gentle hand was placed on your shoulder and now it was your turn to hesitantly turn towards it. Axel screen was completely black except for the words written: "What's wrong? Are you catching a human sickness?"

"No, nothing. We should be heading out," he said with a tight smile. His posture tensed up and he looked about ready to type something. Taking that window of opportunity, you grabbed his arm and headed towards the door.

Screw gave you a mocking two finger salute that you returned with a glare. You were quick to pass by them before they could type anything else.

You had a feeling on what they meant by that tension. Although, they were mistaken to think that it was between you two. It was more one sided and it was all from your end.

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Here's another one. I didn't realize I was already on part seven. It don't know if this series is getting too long. It might be getting around time.

Anyway, as usual, please leve a COMMENT and a LIKE. I'm working on setting up a commission post, so if you're interested you can message me with any questions.

Thank you so much for reading. Love you guys💜💜💜💜

[solavillain]

Pas de Deux Ch. 10, Epilogue: Here We Are In The Future

+pairing: Spinel x fem!Reader +genre: Drama, romance, angst, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers +warnings: none +word count: 7.8K +Chapter 10 / 10 previous || FIN

Read on AO3!

Authors Note: Well, here we are, guys. 61 thousand+ words later, the end of Pas de Deux. So, again, thank you. And enjoy this last chapter of Pas de Deux <3

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The weeks following your return hadn’t exactly been easy. Everyone needed a while to adjust... especially Spinel. Bismuth had been kind enough to offer Spinel an apartment in Little Homeworld, but... well, she wasn’t quite ready to be on her own yet, especially around so many strangers. Not that you could blame her, of course. You knew there would need to be a time in the future where she worked on these things, but for now you were happy to get her through the hardest parts. So for now she had been staying in your little summer rental just off the boardwalk. It was downright cozy, and god was it nice to sleep in a bed again. In fact, after everything had been settled after those first few days back, you and spinel had barely left the apartment. You spent a lot of time catching up on sleep and hygiene, and Spinel seemed to spend her time... relishing in the fact that she could be there, holding you.

After a week or so, you had decided you needed to pick up the café job once more in order to be a basic human adult and pay rent. Thankfully both your landlord and boss had been forgiving about the whole being kidnapped situation, and gratefully your boss took you back on board. It took a little bit to get back in the swing of things, but you adjusted pretty well. And surprisingly, Spinel had begun to adjust too. You had been concerned with what she would do while you were working shifts, especially longer ones. But she was perfectly content to accompany you, sitting at a table in the corner, perusing through a book from your apartment or learning how to use your phone that you would lend her if she didn’t feel like reading (a phone Greg had graciously paid for a week or so after your return, despite your protests- you had lost it sometime between the injector flooding the city and Spinel grabbing you).

There were times you could tell she felt awkward, especially if Steven or one of the other Crystal Gems came in. Though it was usually just Steven or Amethyst, as Garnet and Pearl still seemed hell-bent on avoiding the two of you. Whenever Steven or Amethyst came in, you could see Spinel visibly recoil, trying to hide herself even further into the corner of the room. You often wondered if Steven would ever try to talk to Spinel... or if anyone would, for that matter.

Fortunately, you hadn’t had to worry about that for too long. It probably shouldn’t have surprised you that Lapis, Bismuth and Peridot- AKA the “Attack Steven” team- had been fairly quick to forgive Spinel after all was said and done. Once Little Homeworld construction had finished, they had started visiting the café, and Peridot was quite quick to notice Spinel there every time they came in. Eventually they had all started sitting down with her for a few hours, a couple times a week. From what Spinel told you, it seemed like they mostly talked about Earth things; Peridot insisting on showing the pink Gem how the phone worked, even though you had already taught her a lot of the basics. But you could tell Spinel was perfectly happy to let them talk to her and show her things- you could imagine it was a huge relief that she wasn’t being shunned completely.

It was such a great feeling to see her there, while you were working, whether she was alone or with the New CG’s. Especially during busier times... you would glance up at her, and she would meet your eyes and give a smile, and your heart would start pounding so loudly you were sure the customers in line could hear it. You’d catch her staring at you sometimes too, when she thought you were busy. It was nice to know that even back here, around everyone, she still cared for you like she had on your island of paradise.

And honestly, that’s how you had come to think of your stay with Spinel. It hadn’t begun in the best of ways, and there were definitely hardships, but... you couldn’t help but be secretly grateful that she’d chosen to take you to that island. Despite everything, she had grown from the experience, and you had learned just how much you meant to each other. You could see why the others would be weirded out by it...but you didn’t care.  It was still new, especially being back in Beach City- but you were learning together, like you’d promised.

As the weeks went on, and Spinel followed you around to your shifts, you couldn’t help but start to grow worried that she might be becoming too attached. You didn’t mind having her around of course, but you knew you had to establish boundaries early on. There was always a concern in the back of your mind that she would start to view you like she viewed Pink Diamond, and not as an equal...

Luckily, Spinel solved the issue herself, before you even had to mention it. One day as she walked with you to work in the early morning, she stopped short outside the café, gazing up at the overhanging sign above the shop.

“Spins? Everything all right?” you had asked, turning back once you had noticed she stopped.

“Y-yeah, I just... I don’t know if I want to sit around all day today,” she replied, sounding slightly put off by the prospect.

“Oh! Hey, that’s totally fine! Spinel, you don’t have to wait around for me for all of my shifts... I thought you were doing it because you were too nervous to walk around on your own, honestly.”

“Well, at first that’s what it was... plus I wanted to be close to ya,” she said with a wink, snaking an arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer.

“But after a while I just... thought it made you feel better, having me around where you can see me? And make sure I’m not... doin’ anything I shouldn’t be doing, or somethin’,” she continued, mumbling the last part slightly.

“Hmm... well, I understand where you’re coming from,” you had replied tentatively, wanting to phrase everything correctly, “but I do trust you, just so you know. And I don’t want you to feel like you’re stuck in one place- or that I’m making you wait for me.”

You gave her a pointed look, and she gave a nervous smile in return, removing her arm from your shoulders to scratch the back of her head.

“Heh, you’re not making me wait, doll. It’s just my own conflicting feelings getting' the better of me I guess. But!” she interjected suddenly, causing you to startle slightly, “Now that I’ve told ya, think it would be ok for me to check out some other places around town? Bismuth has been wantin’ me to visit Little Homeworld so they can show me around properly, and take me to that apartment they reserved for me. I still want to stay with you if that’s ok... but it would be neat to see everything!”

She beamed down at you with gleaming eyes, an excited grin growing on her face the more she talked.  

“How can I say no to that face?” you had replied, reaching up to kiss her cheek. “That sounds fun, Spins. Really, you should feel free to do whatever you want with your time! And on my next day off we can explore together?”

“Of course! Peridot and the others want to show you around, too!”

You raised your eyebrows at this- it was the first you had heard of it. Before everything had happened, Amethyst had been the one to suggest giving you a tour... but aside from her slightly stilted visits to the café, you hadn’t heard about her wanting to continue that plan. So hearing that the New Crystal Gems wanted to show you around... well, if the others were going to snub you, maybe you could find a new friend group to hang out with.

“I’d love that,” you replied earnestly, taking her hand in yours to give it a quick squeeze. “But alas, for now I must go work. And you go have fun!”

Spinel grinned once more, and gave you a quick tight hug before racing off down the boardwalk. “Have a good day, doll! I love you!”

Your heart had leapt at her words- you would never get tired of hearing that sentence from her. Since that first time you had said it to each other, it had been used sparingly. You suspected Spinel didn’t want to diminish the meaning of the words by saying it so often, and you were fine taking things slow in that regard. Still... your heart swelled with more love for her with each passing day, more than you ever thought possible.

You shook your head and smiled, watching her figure retreat into the distance. Time for another long shift... hopefully the lack of Spinel wouldn’t have much of an effect on the day.

From then on, for the next few weeks, Spinel would walk you to work whenever you had a shift, send you off with a hug and a kiss, and then just... live her life. She often went to Little Homeworld, especially when you had a morning shift and got off in the afternoon. But the few times you had an evening shift, you would get off work and find a text from her waiting:

On the beach. Can’t wait to see you.

Every time you saw that text- and it was always the same- your heart soared. Months ago, you couldn’t have imagined that such a simple thing would send you into such a state, but... Spinel was special. God, was she special.

After you found her on the beach on those nights, the two of you would just sit and hold each other, watching the waves, or the lingering beach goers, or often times staying to watch the sun set. Spinel couldn’t seem to get enough of you during these moments- she would position you between her legs, letting you lean back on her. She would shudder and sigh when your back rested on her gem, and even though it was uncomfortable sometimes, you knew this level of contact meant so much to her, so you happily sat through the slight discomfort. If it meant making your girl happy... you’d do anything.

As you sat in silence, your mind would often wander to the future, though you had been trying to avoid stressing about it for the most part. But the end of summer was coming up- you had a little less than a month left before you’d have to go back to Empire City to finish off your senior year of college. Part of you wanted to just... skip it all, and live here with the Gems, and more importantly, with Spinel. But you knew you had to do this, and besides, you were pretty passionate about what you were majoring in.  

Tonight was one such night- you'd had an evening shift, and had met Spinel on the beach as usual, finding her near the surf looking for shells. The instant she saw you her eyes brightened, and the backdrop of the setting sun made her almost glow. Your heart felt so full as you settled into the sand for your routine, Spinel encircling her arms around you and letting you get comfortable.

But as the time passed, your mind drifted to thoughts of the future once more, stressing about all the change that was going to happen. You let out an unconscious sigh, sinking further into Spinel’s embrace. She leaned her head down onto your shoulder, planting a kiss on your cheek.

“You all right doll? You’re rather pensive tonight,” she remarks, whispering softly next to your ear.

“Ah, I’m fine, hon, don’t worry about me. Just a long day,” you fib. You could hold off talk about the future for a little while longer... you had time. Just not as much of it as you would like.  

“Mmm... ok. I love you,” she replies, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. You shiver at the closeness, and at her words. You let the calm wash over you and clear your thoughts, deciding to not stress about things you can’t control. It was just you and Spinel tonight, and you were perfectly content with that.

The next morning, Spinel walks you to work as normal, and you expect her to rush off to Little Homeworld as usual- her and the New CG’s had become quite close, which you loved. You still hadn’t had the opportunity to go see them between work and spending alone time with Spinel, but you were hoping to change that before the summer ended.

Today though, Spinel seemed to linger longer than normal, holding you tight to her chest.

“Spinel? You all right?” you ask, muffled by her body pressed to you.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry doll. Just uh... mind if I sit in the café again today? You’ve been working so much lately and I kinda miss ya...”

Your heart swells and you squeeze the pink Gem tighter before pulling back to look up at her.

“Of course you can, hon. You can do whatever you feel like, you know that. Besides, I’ve been missing you too a bit. I always love when you hang out here.”

You grin at each other, and walk in together. You give Spinel’s hand a quick squeeze before heading to the back to get ready for the day. Luckily today was a shorter shift, even if it was an early one- only about five hours, so you’d be out by the afternoon. Plenty of time to spend the rest of the day with your favorite person.  

You busy yourself cleaning and getting the machines ready for the inevitable rush of customers that will show up soon. You watch Spinel take her usual place in the corner, pulling out a book stored in her Gem. You smile at the sight, face flushing when she glances up to meet your eyes and give you a radiant smile in return.

Not wanting to be reprimanded for being distracted, you turn back to what you had been doing, and sure enough, more and more customers start trickling in for the morning rush. The time thankfully passes quickly, and by the time the rush slows, you’re halfway through your shift. The bell dings as the last customer for the time being leaves, and you slump against the counter, hanging your head down for a moment. While the influx of customers may help time pass, it’s definitely hard work.

The bell dings once more, signaling someone else entering the shop. You groan quietly before lifting your head, prepared to give a cheery greeting.

“Y/n!”

Steven exclaims happily before you can say anything, and you grin at the teenager, before your eyes slip past him to the threshold where three more Gems enter.

“Oh...hi, guys!” you call out awkwardly, before your gaze flicks to Spinel, who has turned her head away from the front of the store, a slight blush on her face.  You can only hope she’s okay with seeing all of the Crystal Gem’s in the same place at once...

“Do you have a minute?” Steven asks, shooting you a hopeful smile.

You nod and take off your apron, and let your coworkers know that you’re taking your break now. You walk around to the other side of the counter and motion them over to the side of the store, waiting to hear what they have to say.

“Hello, Y/n. We just wanted to stop by to tell you about the party we’re having on the beach tonight,” Garnet says softly, “and to invite you to join us.”

“A-and Spinel too!” Amethyst interjects, glancing over to the pink Gem in the corner. Spinel jolts at the mention of her name, and stands up slowly, slinking her way to the front to stand next to you. You notice she avoids meeting anyone’s eyes, until she takes your hand and seems to gain some courage from your presence.

“Why now?” she asks, voice lower than normal. You raise your eyebrows and squeeze her hand as a warning- you don’t want to cause any more of a rift between you and the Gems.

“Everyone’s coming who can make it, and...well, I haven’t gotten to throw one of these parties for a while. Y/n, you’ve been to a few of them I think?” Steven replies, giving you a small smile.

You return it and nod, trying to be as relaxed as possible. “Yeah, and that was back before we had so many new people and Gems in town... this must be a pretty big party you’re planning!”

You glance up to Spinel and she meets your eyes, her gaze softening slightly.

“It sounds really fun, Steven. I know I want to go... what about you, Spins?” you ask her.

She meets the eyes of each Gem in turn, before looking to Steven last, who wears a hopeful look.

“Yeah...yeah, let’s go,” Spinel sighs, conceding finally. You catch a small smile on her face as everyone celebrates quickly before heading out.  

“She must have been relieved to be included,” you muse, watching her watch the Gems leave. You turn your gaze from Spinel to Pearl as you notice her linger in the doorway, back turned. She hadn’t said a word this whole time, mostly keeping to the back behind Garnet.  

But she turns back to face you before leaving, and simply says, “I’m...glad you’re coming. Both of you.”

Before you can reply, she darts out quickly, leaving the café empty once more except for the workers and Spinel.

You sigh and turn to your girlfriend, who is staring at the front door.  

“You all right?” you ask softly, circling your arms around her waist and gazing up at her.

“Y-yeah, just... hadn’t expected all of ‘em to show up for the invitation,” she replies, still gazing absentmindedly to the front of the store.

You tilt your head quizzically. “Did you know we were gonna be invited?” you ask.  

She finally tears her gaze back to you and raises her brows. “Oh! Well, yeah, Peri and the others mentioned it a few days ago...Sorry, I didn’t think to tell you. I guess I just figured Steven would just tell you while getting his coffee, or somethin’.”  

You smile and shake your head, taking a couple steps to stand next to her. “I’m not mad or anything.  I’m glad you weren’t surprised by it for the most part, and I’m glad you agreed to go!”

You turn to her and take her hands, being sure to look her right in the eyes. “I know this is a big step for you, love. For both of us. We haven’t... exactly been a couple around everyone yet, but I’m excited to show everyone how much I love you...”

Suddenly Spinel pulls you in tight, causing your face to almost smash against her gem. Luckily you react in time and move your head over. The hazards of dating a Gem...

“That means so much to me, Y/n. Thank you. I want... I want to be braver for you. You make me want to try.”

You press your face into her shoulder, trying to hold back the tears that her words threaten to bring. You’re at work, after all. No crying on the job.  

Once you’ve calmed yourself in her embrace, you pull back and beam up at the Gem you’ve come to love.

“You’re already the bravest person I know, Spinel.”

x * x * x * x * x

That night, after getting ready at your apartment in your nicest summer clothes (and after working through some of the butterflies with Spinel), the two of you head over to the other side of town. Steven always throws a great end of summer party, but you are not prepared for the sight you see as you round the corner.  

A giant dance floor lays on the sand, much like the one present for Garnet’s wedding way back when. Not that you had been there, since you had still been finishing up college finals at the time, but you had seen pictures and heard Steven talk about it enthusiastically.

But this...this was much bigger. In front of the dance floor was a stage set up with all the latest equipment, where Sour Cream was currently DJing- and by the looks of it, Sadie Killer would be coming on at some point later. A little ways from the music area, Greg, Lapis, and Peridot were helping set up the food station, which looked to be a giant buffet accompanied by some good old fashioned barbeque. Your mouth waters with the smells that waft over to you on the sea breeze.

“Whaddya say, doll? Wanna go mingle?” Spinel asks, taking your hand. ��

“She’s definitely different from the scared and angry Gem I first met...” you think happily. You nod in response and she leads you past the dance floor towards Lapis and Peridot, who turn and smile as they see the two of you approaching.

“Spinel! Y/n! You’re just in time for sustenance!” Peridot calls out in her raspy voice.  

“Oh yeah? What do you guys have for us today?” you ask, greeting them with a smile.

“Just the basics, stuff we normally like to grow. Corn, potatoes, the usual,” Lapis answers, “and I think Greg and Steven are working on the main courses on the grill!”

“Yeah, it smells delicious!” you reply with a grin, glancing past the buffet table to the multiple grills set up that the father and son are manning (with the help of a few other Gems).  

“Maybe I’ll finally try some food,” Spinel banters, half-joking. “Really though, it all looks so... fun! Nothing like the few Homeworld balls I got to go to...”

Lapis scoffs and rolls her eyes good naturedly. “Well, trust me. You’ll have much more fun here. But it can get pretty loud and busy. So don’t feel bad if you get overwhelmed- I know I did the first few times we did something like this.”

Spinel nods and looks gratefully at her new friend. “Thanks, Lapis. Still, I’m pretty excited to check everything out...”

She trails off and eyes the dance floor, making you chuckle.

“All right, dork, you wanna dance?” you ask fondly. She nods eagerly and starts to pull you away.  

“We’ll talk to you later, guys!” you call to Lapis and Peridot as Spinel drags you off. They share a knowing glance and wave, leaving you to follow Spinel.

“Kinda eager, aren’t we?” you ask, raising an eyebrow as Spinel leads you to the base of the stage.

“Well... last time we were at a concert together, I wasn’t exactly myself. And I didn’t get to dance with ya,” she replies, bending down to whisper close to your ear, “and you just look so damn good in that outfit... I wanna show everyone you’re mine, dollface.”

You flush immediately, and pull back to look up at Spinel.  

“H-hey now, no teasing...” you reply, ducking your face away from her gaze.

“Heh. Fine,” she smirks, clearly happy with your reaction. “But I still wanna dance with you, toots.”

She grabs your hands and spins you to face her once more, a grin on her face that is entirely too smug for your liking. You roll your eyes, but can’t help but smile. It’s nice to see her putting herself out there, after all. Even if it means suffering a little PDA.

The two of you dance to Sour Cream’s techno rave beats for a while, though you wouldn’t consider yourself much of a dancer. Spinel seems to think otherwise, though. She smiles happily every time you let yourself get lost in the music, and eventually you stop caring about what anyone thinks. Spinel does her own form of dance, being the limber Gem that she is. She tries to copy some of your moves, and actually succeeds with the majority of them, probably making it look better than you could.   Well. She is an entertainer, after all.

Around the twenty minute mark you’re starting to get a bit sweaty (and hungry), but luckily Sour Cream announces a break in the music- Steven has just informed him that the barbeque is ready. You and Spinel rush over with about half of the guests from the dance floor, mostly all human, and get in line for a plate.

“Damn, this looks amazing!”

You turn at the gravelly voice that sounds out behind you and grin.

“Hey Amethyst! Fancy seeing you here!”

The purple Gem nudges you and winks before saying, “And who’s your hot date, huh?”

Spinel flushes a deep magenta and shifts behind you, as if trying to hide. Not that she’s hidden at all- she's a good head taller than you.

You glance over your shoulder and give her what you hope to be a comforting smile. “She’s just teasing, Spins. She knows you’re mine.”

You turn back to Amethyst and cock an eyebrow. “Right?”

“Pff. Duh, nerd! Once you get past the whole trying to destroy the earth thing...and the kidnapping thing... you guys are pretty cute together.”

“Y-yeah?” Spinel asks tentatively, stepping back to your side once again and clasping your hand in hers.

“Yeah! I saw you on the dance floor. You were really tearing it up. Both of you,” Amethyst replies with a laugh. “Spinel, you gotta teach me your moves some time. Maybe later tonight?”

She smiles calmly up at Spinel, whose eyes widen as she grins hesitantly back at the purple Gem.

“I think you’ll have to loosen up a bit more,” she replies, wiggling her arms with a grin, “but... I could give it a try.”

The two continue talking, with Spinel sounding more and more confident as the conversation goes on. The chat continues as the line for food moves up inch by inch, and your heart swells watching them talk. You’re so glad at least one of the Crystal Gems is making an effort. A few years ago you would have expected Pearl or Steven to be the first to approach the two of you in this sort of situation, but... Amethyst has matured amazingly in these past few years.  

Speaking of Pearl...

Your mind drifts to thoughts of your once closest friend, and your eyes search the party, unsure if you’re hoping to find her or not. Your stomach jolts as you spot her on the other side of the beach, chatting with... a Pink Pearl? You hadn’t seen her around before; she must be a new arrival. You’re about to turn back to Spinel and Amethyst, when Pearl’s eyes find yours, and your stomach jolts once more. Her eyes widen and her face flushes a light blue, and she quickly turns back towards the Pink Pearl, but glances at you every few seconds.

“Shit. I guess I gotta talk to her now. Can't avoid it forever...”

You sigh and step between Spinel and Amethyst, who are still happily chatting away.  

“Guys, I gotta... go do something alone real quick. Spins, hold my place in line please? And if you reach the food before I get back, uh... just grab me some chicken or something.”

You reach up to give her a quick peck on the cheek, and stalk off towards Pearl before nerves can get the better of you. You have no idea what you’re going to say or how she’ll react- she could barely look at you this morning when they all showed up to invite you to the party. You don’t know if she’s still mad, or just upset, or shy... whatever it is, this needs to stop. You don’t want to leave for school in a few weeks without fixing things between you two.

“...And another time, Greg tried to fuse with Rose- uh, Pink. It was quite the sight, at the time we didn’t think fusions between Gems and humans were possible. Steven proved us wrong with that too, as he has with so many other-”

You walk up to the Pearls, trying to be as non-invasive as possible.. You catch the tail end of some story Pearl is telling, which halts the second she spots you. Once again her face flushes, and she places a hand on her hip, clearly trying to show an air of confidence.

“Volleyball, why don’t you go find Steven and the others? I’ll...catch up with you later.”

Pink Pearl- Volleyball?- nods quickly and brushes past you, giving a small smile and a nod before she leaves.  

“Volleyball, huh? That’s an... interesting nickname, even for a Gem.”

“Oh, Steven thought of it a few days ago...” Pearl replies with a roll of the eyes, “not his best, but I’ll come up with something better eventually. Can’t exactly call her ‘Pink’.  

“Guess not,” you say awkwardly, halting the conversation. You stand there a moment, just fidgeting, willing the right words to enter your head.

“Y/n-”

“Pearl-”

You both start at the same time, interrupting the other simultaneously. You both giggle awkwardly, and you feel the tension ease, somewhat.

You sigh and start speaking first. “Pearl, listen, I... I can somewhat understand why you were shocked when I came back with Spinel the way I did. I know it seemed like I was defending all her past actions and just writing off all the wrong she did but I promise that’s not the case. I really struggled with it for a while on the island, and I’m not saying she’s perfect, but... she wants to learn, and grow, and change. Just like all the other Homeworld Gems who have showed up since Steven dismantled the empire. And she’s making the effort, she’s made giant steps these past few weeks. Can’t you just-”

Pearl cuts you off with a tight hug, almost startling you enough to make you cry out in surprise. But you keep it together enough to finish your thought.

“Can’t you just give us a chance?”

Pearl stays still for a moment, arms still wrapped tightly around you. A few years ago this would have had you blushing like mad, but now you’re just confused.  

“Oh, Y/n... I was never mad at you. And I haven’t been upset with Spinel for a while now, either. Not after watching how happy she makes you. I was just...”

She pulls back finally, hands still on your shoulders. You’re surprised to see tears forming in her eyes, which she wipes away quickly before you can comment.

“I was just so worried about you, that first day you came back with her,” Pearl continues, “I had no idea if she’d manipulated you into caring for her, or if she had hurt you somehow... and then I gravely misunderstood what you were trying to tell me. I made her- and you- so upset.”

She sighs and takes a step back, dropping her arms. “The reason I haven’t been... around... I was just too ashamed, I suppose. I was brash with my assumptions when you got back, and knowing how Spinel probably still feels about me, I thought it was best I keep my distance. But mostly I was just embarrassed.”

She stops speaking, though she seems like she wants to say more but can’t find the words. Her eyes are downcast to the sand, her gaze searching the grains for what to say next.  

“I guess I should just say... I’m sorry, Y/n. I never meant to hurt you or Spinel. And I’m sorry I got angry with you when you first got back.”

Your heart lifts at her (admittedly long overdue) apology. Finally- this was all you had wanted to hear. You had stopped being upset with her a while ago, but you had wanted her to make the first apology, so you’d waited for her to come to you. It seemed that just wasn’t her way- habits were hard to break after thousands of years of keeping them. But still.

“Pearl... it’s okay. Really. I can appreciate the fact that you were worried for me... and trust me, I know how it looked when my... kidnapper and I rode back into town holding hands. I can't fully explain It, but even before she took me it felt like we were connected, somehow. Even when she was rejuvenated. I just... can you trust me that being with her is my choice?”

Pearl nods, tears once again forming in her eyes. She’s always been an easy crier.  

“Of c-course, Y/n. I just want you both to be happy. Spinel... after what Rose did to her, she deserves that much.”

“You’re damn right.”

Both you and Pearl jump slightly as a voice sounds out of nowhere, and you turn to see Spinel approaching with a plate of food.

“Sorry doll, just didn’t want your food to get cold or anythin’,” Spinel continues, moving to stand next to you. "Besides, I... wanted to come chat with ya.” She looks to Pearl, whose gaze flickers between the two of you.

“O-oh, well, that’s fine! It’s nice to see you again, Spinel,” Pearl replies nervously.

“Well, ya don’t have to lie, but thanks all the same.” Spinel’s accent grows heavier, something you’ve noticed that happens when she becomes emotional in some form.

Pearl sigh and crosses her arms, slightly agitated by the provocation. “I’m not lying... I was just talking to Y/n about everything that’s happened. And how... I’m glad you two are together. Really.”

Spinel hands you the plate which you take quickly, catching the determined look in her eyes. She takes a few steps to stand face to face with Pearl, and you briefly wonder if she’s going to start something again-

But Spinel holds out her hand, mimicking something you’d taught her a few weeks back for meeting new humans.  

“Thank you, Pearl. And I just wanna say... I’m sorry for what I did, too. Kinda probably worse than you bein’ upset with me and Y/n, here, but... I appreciate you trying. I just want you to know I’m trying too. I know you and Y/n were close in the past, and I don’t wanna stand between that or anything. So... friends?”

Pearl stares hopefully up at Spinel for a moment before taking her hand gently in her own.

“Friends.”

After a few awkward smiles, the three of you head back over to rejoin everyone, something you’re very grateful for. You’re not sure if you could have handled more of... that. Plus, now you can catch up with Steven and the others you haven’t gotten a chance to talk to yet!

Spinel stays by your side the whole time while you eat and chat. She doesn’t say much to the group at large, but when Steven, Garnet and Pearl slip off to mingle some more, Spinel seems to loosen up a little. She jokes with Amethyst, Peridot and Lapis, and is visibly pleased when Bismuth finally shows up.

“Hey, Biz!” Peridot calls out to the approaching Gem. “Where have you been? You missed our wonderful display of farmed goods.”

“Yeah, it’s... pretty much all eaten now,” you add on, “but damn was it good. All of it.”

“Heh, sorry guys. I was just finishing up something in the forge,” Bismuth explains with a smirk, “A little... welcome to Earth present, if you will.”

You cock your eyebrow in confusion as she turns to Spinel, now fully grinning at the pink Gem.

“F-for me? Aw, Bismuth, you didn’t-”

“C’mon now, it’s nothing! I wanted to.”

“Well, okay... what is it?” Spinel asks, trying to mask the eagerness in her voice.

“I know you weren’t exactly built for fighting- like most of us Crystal Gems,” Bismuth says with a chuckle, “and I remember you telling us once that you don’t have a weapon of your own, which is why you nicked that rejuvenator in the first place. And I know it’s not like we have much fighting left to do, but...”

Bismuth pulls an object from her smock’s pocket and holds it out for Spinel to inspect. She takes it tentatively, curiously inspecting it for a moment before her eyes light up.

“Oh my stars. You didn’t.”

Bismuth places her hands on her hips and laughs heartily. “Hey, you seemed like a natural with the thing, from what I’ve heard. Don’t fix what’s not broken, right?”

You purse your lips together, still not totally sure what it could be, before Spinel takes a few paces back from everyone and pushes the button on the side of the object.

On the side of her scythe.

“Ohhhh,” you breathe out, fighting the urge to smack your forehead. You watch Spinel inspect her new weapon with wonder, and you do the same from afar. It’s definitely not a rejuvenator, luckily, but other than that small detail, it’s almost exactly the same, down to the gem at the top. Though this one is distinctly more... pink.

Spinel makes sure she’s out of range of anyone, and she gives it a few test spins. Her grin grows almost wicked, her eyes wild, and your heart leaps in your chest. Now that she’s not threatening anyone with it, it’s almost... attractive to see her like this. You briefly wonder how fun it would be to train with her, fake fighting, ending up in a sweaty pile at the end-

“So, you like it, right?” Lapis interrupts your thoughts with a bemused smile as Spinel sheathes the weapon.

“Are you kidding? I love it!” Spinel exclaims happily, phasing it into her gem. “Best present ever. Well... second best,” she finishes with a coy look towards you, causing you to avert your eyes and flush, flashing back to the thoughts you were having moments ago.

“Good. I thought you might,” Bismuth says proudly, “took me all week to forge that thing. Wanted to get it just right.”

“Really... thank you,” Spinel says sincerely, stepping up to the group and meeting Bismuth’s eyes. “You guys have made me feel... accepted, since I’ve been here. I didn’t think I would find that anywhere else except with Y/n. I’m glad to have been wrong.”

“Oh stars, stop with the speech and c’mere,” Bismuth teases good-naturedly, pulling her into a hug. Peridot and Lapis follow suit, encircling your girlfriend who looks amazingly contented, eyes closed. For the umpteenth time this night, your heart swells with joy. This is all you could have wanted for her.

As you gaze at her, Spinel opens her eyes and stretches her arms through the cluster of friends and pulls you swiftly to her. You giggle nervously, hoping Bismuth and the others don’t mind the addition of a human. But they all join in with your giggling, until Bismuth is wrapping her arms around the group and lifting everyone at once, causing the four of you caught in her embrace to squeal with laughter.

“Damn, looks like a love fest over here!”

The hug splits apart, and you wipe at the happy tears that had begun to form in your eyes. “Oh, hey Amethyst! Spinel got a gift from Bismuth and then the group hug got carried away,” you explain, still giggling slightly.

“Hey, that’s great! You’ll have to show me whatever it is later,” Amethyst says, turning to Spinel. “But for now you guys have to come back to the stage! Sadie Killer is about to go on!”

Spinel gasps and rushes to grab your hand, excitement plain on her face.

“We have to go dance!” she exclaims, and without waiting for a reply she begins to drag you back to the dance floor, a spring in her step.

“I’m so glad she’s happy here,” you think, “I can’t ask her to come with me to Empire City now... can I? Not after she’s making so many new friends...

You shake your head and follow her to the front of the stage, where Sadie is taking the mic to introduce the band.

“I’m so excited!” Spinel cries out from her place beside you. You smile and wrap your arms around her small frame, giving her a quick hug before the music starts. You want her to know you’re excited to just be here with her.

The two of you get pretty into dancing once again, and even wind up in a big dance circle with a bunch of Gems and humans, everyone taking turns in the middle to show off. You sit that part out, but Spinel grows bold and rushes in at the tail end of a song, stretching and moving to the beat. You clap happily along with everyone once the song and her dance ends, and as she walks back towards you, you hold out your arms for another hug.

“Proud of you,” you mumble as she steps into your embrace, resting her chin on the top of your head.  

“Thanks doll... I’m just havin’ so much fun. I love it here,” she replies, and your heart pangs. You really can’t ask her to leave this behind.  

The band starts to play a slow song, and Spinel pulls back to look into your eyes.  

“Dance with me?” she asks, already swaying the two of you to the beat.  

You chuckle and reply, “Obviously.”

You show her the traditional positions for slow dancing, and you listen to the song while gazing into her deep pink eyes. There’s nothing you don’t love about her face- tear marks and all. You move your hand from her shoulder to her cheek, stroking the black lines you’ve come to love so much. She shudders at your touch, eyes fluttering closed, and leans into your hand. A smile finds its way to her face as you stay like that for a while, dancing all but forgotten.  

As the song ends, she opens her eyes and gazes at you with what could only be described as pure love. Before you can say anything, she encircles her arms around your waist tightly, and pulls you in for the sweetest kiss you’ve ever known. Your eyes close with bliss and you forget where you are, all sounds around you are blocked out.  

There’s only her.  

x * x * x * x * x  

You dance a while longer before the band announces the end of the party, and Steven goes up on stage to make his usual end-of-summer speech. You only half listen, fretting nervously about the talk you know you need to have with Spinel about what the end of summer means for you. You grip her hand tightly as she listens to the speech, not that she seems to mind.  

Once the party is all wrapped up and everyone begins making their way back to Beach City or Little Homeworld, you and Spinel make the rounds to say goodbye. Bismuth and the others make you promise that you’ll take some time to come visit them with Spinel, so they can finally show you around properly. You agree readily, which makes everyone pleased, especially your girlfriend. You know she’s been wanting you to visit for a while, and you really do want to go, even if it means taking time off work.

After you’ve said your goodbyes and goodnights, Spinel turns to you, her face slightly weary but still smiling.

“Well, should we head home too?”  

“Mm... do you want to watch the waves for a bit?” you ask, hoping your nerves don’t find their way into your voice.  

“Sure, doll. You know I love sittin’ out here with ya.”

You walk closer to the water and she plops down, pulling you with her gracefully. You get situated in your usual position, and stay silent for a few minutes as you gaze out into the dark waters.

Finally, though, you know you need to bring it up.

“Spinel... I need to ask you something. And tell you something.”

“W-what? Okay... what is it?” she asks nervously, arms tightening around you.  

You stay facing out towards the ocean as you reply, “I don’t... know if you remember, but... ah, there isn’t an easy way to say this. I have to go back to Empire City soon to finish my last year of college.”

“Oh. Yeah, I remember you mentioned you live there most of the year... why?”

“Um. Well, I guess I just.” You swallow, your throat running dry, “I just don’t know if- I mean, you’ve been making such good friends here with everyone and I don’t want to tear you away from all this when you’ve just gotten used to it, but I guess I’m a little selfish and-”

“Woah woah woah, babydoll. Calm down, take a breath, yeah?” she interjects, unwrapping you from her embrace. You turn in the sand to face her, crossing your legs underneath you as you sit pitifully in front of her.

She speaks before you can continue rambling. “Is this about me comin’ with you or not?”

You nod, still too scared to speak, worried your voice will give away your fears if you do.

“Oh, Y/n... don’t you know by now? There’s never a question when it comes to me an’ you.”

She puts a finger to your chin, lifting your head gently to make you meet her gaze.  

“I love you so much, doll. Yeah, I might be makin’ a few friends here, and I really like ‘em a lot. But the whole reason I’m able to do these things is because of you. Because of the strength you give me to go on tryin’ every day.”

You take a shaky breath and steel your nerves. “R-really? You’re not... mad that I’m making you choose?”

Spinel smiles gently down at you, moving her hand to cup your face. “Course not. I’ve already chosen a thousand times over. It’s always you.”

You can’t hold back the tears that spring to your eyes at her words, and you lean forward to bury your face in the crook of her neck, silently shaking. You never expected this. God, you never even hoped for this. But this Gem just keeps surprising you.  

“T-thank you,” you whisper, and she sighs happily, tightening her hold on you once more.

“Never thank me for lovin’ ya, Y/n. Never.”

You sit in silence once more, this time simply holding each other instead of watching the waves. Spinel is the first one to break the silence this time, petting the back of your head before standing the both of you up.

“Come on, Y/n. Let’s get you home to bed.”

You walk hand in hand with her back towards your apartment in Beach City, heart full to bursting. You can’t wait to see what the future will bring you and Spinel.  

You’ll be ready for it. Together.

[thecleverdame]

Control and Release - 23

Series Masterlist

TEDTalk!Sam x Reader

Summary: After the rest of the staff is caught in a snowstorm, you find yourself acting as a personal assistant to the notorious Sam Winchester. As the arrangement becomes more defined, you and Sam begin a sexual adventure with dangerous consequences.  

Warnings: Dom/Sub, humiliation, embarrassment, sexual objectification, mutual masturbation, spanking, cum play, fingering, anal play, orgasm control, nipple clamps, dub-con, breath play.

Beta: @ilikaicalie

Words: 2.8k

Parts  24, 25, 26 & 27 are currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories, including the ABO series Gods of Twilight and Patreon exclusive content.  >> CLICK HERE <<

-

Forbes: At 30 years old you ranked as one of the top 25 most successful men in business.  You are a huge success. You’ve done all this by the seat of your pants, with no particular training in management. How did you learn how to run a company?

SW: You know, throughout my years in business I’ve discovered something. Coming up, I would always ask “why do you do it that way?”. The answer I would invariably get is: “Oh, that’s just the way things are done around here.” Nobody knows why they do what they do. Nobody thinks very deeply about processes. That’s what I’ve found.

In business a lot of things are folklore. They are done because they were done that way yesterday. And the day before. You have to dig in, ask questions, and not be afraid to piss people off.  It’s not the hardest thing in the world. It’s not rocket science.

Forbes: What drives you?

SW: As a kid, I read an article in Scientific American. It measured the efficiency of locomotion of various species on the planet. Bears. Chimpanzees. Raccoons. Birds. Fish. How many kilo-calories per kilometer did they spend to move? Humans were measured too. And the condor won. It was the most efficient. Humankind came in with an unimpressive showing about a third of the way down the list. But somebody there had the brilliance to test a human riding a bicycle. We blew away the condor. Off the charts.

This really had an impact on me. Humans are tool builders and process creators. We build things that can dramatically amplify our innate human abilities.

If you set a vector off into space, and you change its direction just a little bit at the beginning, the difference is dramatic when it gets a few miles out in space. If we can nudge it in the right direction, it will be a much better thing. I think W & S has had a chance to do that a few times. That gives me tremendous satisfaction.

Forbes: What drives Winchester & Singer employees?

SW: Most people don’t get a chance to do that many significant things in their life. I’m offering people the chance to be on the forefront of change. Everyone person is handpicked to be here. They could be sitting in a monastery somewhere in Japan, or out sailing. Some of the executive team could be playing golf, they could be running other companies. Everyone at W & S chosen to work with this emerging corner of law and technology. Plus I pay people what they’re worth. A rock star deserves a salary to match. I’ve never shied away from rewarding those who deserve it.

Forbes: Let’s just get it out there, the elephant in the room. How has the shooting changed the way you run W & S? What would you do differently in hindsight?

SW: The most effective change I’ve made has been hiring outside managers to monitor each department’s cultural cohesion. I hire the best and brightest, with that comes egos, reputations, and unrealistic expectations. It’s a balance between heavy-handed micromanagement and understanding what’s truly going on. We’re placing a greater focus on not only the quality of work produced, but the quality of the work experience.

Forbes: You’re a notorious figure with a demanding reputation. How do you see yourself?

SW: My job is to not be easy on people. My job is to make them better. My job is to pull things together from different parts of the company and clear the way and get the resources for key projects. To take these great people, push them, and make them even better, coming up with more aggressive visions of stale concepts.

Forbes: What advice would you give to someone looking at you as their model for success?

SW: Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. You'll know when you find it. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. I learned that the hard way.

Forbes: You’re known for being stubbornly private regarding your personal life, but in one of your most famous quotes you said things such as hobbies and even family were a distraction. You’re older and wiser, do you still believe that?

SW: (long pause) Yes, but there’s someone in my life now who won’t be too pleased with my answer. The right partner makes you better. Distractions can turn into strengths, but I still believe it’s important to screen who and what you let into your life.

You sit back on the couch smiling at the photo of him on the opposite page. The photographer managed to make him look like some kind of billionaire playboy. He’s wearing a designer suit, something edgy and slim with no socks and leather shoes. His trademark glasses are nowhere to be seen and his hair is wild around his face. He looks like a different Sam, a doppelganger from another universe.

This is his second Forbes cover. The first showcased him as a new powerhouse executive but this article goes on and on about the way Sam is reshaping the way law will be written as it regards to intellectual property rights.

And that last question and then his answer. The right partner makes you better. You wish he was here in your tiny apartment so you could crawl into his lap and show him just how much better things can really get.

Monday

On Monday morning you follow Cole to the nearest conference room. You’ve worked hard to put together the right team for this maiden case. Everyone is feeling the pressure, pressure that’s only made worse by Sam’s attendance.

Sam makes you slightly nervous, but only because you want him to be proud of your work. Truth be told you’re more concerned about proving to Cole you can do this job and do it well.

Everyone else is terrified of incurring the wrath of the great Sam Winchester.

Despite working for W & S most employees never meet him face to face, so this is a big deal for the team and even more so for Cole. They have a lot to prove. This morning is the first in a battery of tests to come.

You set up the presentation while the team trails in. Each junior associate has been assigned an assistant and you’re happy to see the familiar faces of Millie and Lexie.

“Is he normally late?” Cole glances at his watch. “It’s 9:15.”

“No, not normally,” you reply as the door opens and a blonde woman you’ve never seen before scurries in ahead of Sam. The look on his face tells you everything you need to know, something didn’t go his way. He’s pissed.

He takes a seat, opening a legal pad full of notes. The woman sits beside him, offering a pen. He sighs and plucks it from her fingers.

“Let’s get started.” Sam begins. The room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

“Right,” Cole stands up, adjusting his suit jacket. “I’ve put together an overview, the key players and areas we believe there’s wiggle room to make our case.” He turns to you on cue. “Y/N.”

You start the presentation from your laptop, doing everything in your power not to look directly at Sam.

Cole presents, he’s well spoken and thinks on his feet. Sam interjects with questions designed to test Cole’s agility as much as hear an answer, but your new boss performs just as expected.

Next up are the associates and they don’t fare as well. Leon hasn’t done his homework, he doesn’t have the correct cases with the legal precedent. Jasper looks like he’s going to throw up as Sam goes down his list of suggestions and eviscerates each one, piece by piece.

While Sam speaks it occurs to you for the first time perhaps this is less his intolerance and more about the frustration of being the smartest person in the room. He already knows the answers, he doesn’t make a move without planning five steps ahead. He’s just trying to get everyone else caught up.

Halfway through his interrogation of Jenny Salter, a leggy redhead who started two weeks ago, the soft strains of a radio can be heard, growing closer. The guy who runs the coffee cart listens to classic rock on a little radio as he wheels around the office and at the moment Blinded By The Light is getting louder and louder.

“What the hell is that?” Sam cocks his head.

“I’ll go check,” Millie gets up.

As you watch her stand up your heart flutters. Little palpitations, once, twice, and then a tightness spreading out. Shit. This couldn't be a worse time.

Your palms go sticky-sweaty, a heat starting in your belly and fanning out like wildfire, until it seems the walls are closing in.

“Can someone help her,” Sam gestures toward the open door. “Is it that difficult to turn a radio off?”

“I need to get out of here,” you whisper, grabbing Cole by the wrist.

“What’s wrong?” he whispers back, turning to look at you. “Jesus, are you sick?”

“I just, um…” the words get caught as your breath goes choppy. “I can’t breathe.”

“Are you okay?” Jenny inquires from across the table. Under any other circumstances, you’d be horrified to have all the attention focused on you but right now you’re desperately trying not to pass out.

“Y/N?” Sam’s voice drifts in from somewhere far away.

“I’m gonna…” are your last words as everything fades to black.

-

You blink once, twice and a third time cobwebs begin to clear. There’s a pounding in the back of your skull, a heavy thump thump that hurts like a motherfucker.

It takes a moment to place the location but you’re lying on a couch in Sam’s office. When you turn your head both Sam and Cole are standing near his desk, both of them watching you.

“Welcome back,” Cole smiles, moving forward. You lock eyes with Sam for a moment, before focusing on the other man in front of your.

“I passed out huh?”

“Yeah. You hit your head on the table on the way down. You’re gonna have a goose egg.” Cole makes a pained face.

“Shit,” you feel at the tender lump on the side of your head. “This is so embarrassing. Sorry I ruined the meeting.”

“Nothin’ to be sorry for.” Cole nods. “You should probably go get checked out.”

“It’s just a panic attack. I get them from time to time. PTSD.”

“I’m familiar.”

Of course he is, the man fought in a war and you’re talking to him about PTSD.

“You should go home,” Sam suggests, studying the interaction between you and Cole.

“Really, I think I’ll be okay. I’ve got some work I need to finish-”

“Go home.” Sam raises his voice. It’s not a suggestion.

“Probably a good idea.” Cole agrees. He offers you a hand up from the couch. “You live close? I can-”

“We have people who can take her,” Sam interjects. “I’d like if you would go back down and pull everyone back together. Have the team regroup and we’ll reschedule for this afternoon.”

“I’d kinda like to stay with her.” Cole looks to you. “I feel responsible.”

“I’ll watch her until a driver comes to take her home.” Sam holds out his arm, ushering him toward the door. Cole looks hesitant, but nods in agreement.

“Check in later and let me know how you’re feeling okay?”

“Sure thing.” You’re thankful for his kindness. He’s proven himself to be an upstanding guy. You’re lucky to have him as a direct supervisor.

As soon as the door clicks shut Sam is kneeling on the carpet in front of you. One hand slides into your hair, finding the growing bump.

“Ouch,” you hiss.

“It’s big,” he cautions. “You should have a doctor look at it, make sure you don’t have a concussion.”

“I passed out before I hit my head. I think I’m fine.” You force a weak smile, looking over his face as he looks up to you.

Sam rarely looks up at anyone or anything, this position is vulnerable, submissive but he doesn’t seem to mind as he studies your face.

“It was a bad one,” Sam denotes. “It came on fast and you were on the ground in under a minute.”

“So embarrassing.” You watch him as he carefully pushes hair away from your forehead. “Do I have to go home?”

“Yes,” he maintains. “Go to my house.”

“Really, I’m okay. I can just go to my own place and lay down.”

“I’d like to check on you later. I’d prefer if you stayed with me.”

You forget sometimes that safety is Sam’s flag ship. He’s afraid of losing the only person in his life, in moments like this you get a glimpse of the acute anxiety. It looks exhausting.  

“Alright, your house. But I want dinner.”

“You can have whatever you want.”

Wednesday

“Y/N…” Cole starts, his voice trailing off.

“Yeah?” You don’t look up from the document you’re working on, scribbling a note in red ink. It’s been a long week of case review and making sure that everyone is on the same page. The real work begins in a few days so the team is trying to prep as they can. You’ve been spread out on the small couch in the corner of his office for hours, reviewing and taking notes. Trying to memorize the details.

“I’m gonna say something and I hope you take it the right way, because I’m coming to you from a place of good intentions.”

“That sounds ominous.” Sitting up, you close the folder and place it on the table giving him your full attention. “What’s up?”

“Is he always like that with you?”

“What are you talking about?”

There’s an immediate nervous feeling. A wispy flutter of panic.

“I’m talking about Sam Winchester. He brought you up to his office after you passed out, offered to personally watch over you until a driver was free. He can’t even remember the name of his new assistant but with you he was...attentive.”

“I worked on a project with him last year. We spent a significant amount of time together,” you counter.

Stay cool. All this time and Pepper had to walk in on you to see there was something going on. But Cole’s sharp, observant. He picked up on it right away.

Cole stares at you, pursing his lips and trying to decide whether or not to share what he’s really thinking.

“You should watch yourself.” His words are careful. “The way he looks at you, I’ve seen that look before.”

“You’re wrong.” Your entire face is hot. “He’s not like that.”

“I hope you’re right. Just keep my voice in the back of your head, kay? Don’t let yourself be in a situation where you’re alone with him.”

“Cole-”

“I’m serious. He’s interested in you. I’ve known men like him. I wouldn’t want you to be put in a position where something happened. A guy like that is used to getting what he wants. He might not wait for consent.”

That takes you back. The tone shifts and you swallow, thinking about how you want to respond to this curve ball.

“You’re jumping to a lot of conclusions,” you bristle, trying to subdue the urge to put Cole in his place. “Even if he was interested in me, that doesn’t mean he’s a freakin’ rapist.”

“I’m not saying he is.” Cole tries to explain himself. “There’s just something about him. You’re intuitive, you have to feel it too. You have to know the rumors about his brother? How they grew up? You can’t be sure some of that crazy isn’t lurking below the surface-”

“Sam has been nothing but kind to me,” you interrupt. “He’s hard to work for but he’s given me opportunities no one else ever has. You shouldn’t talk about him like that.”

“You don’t wonder why?”

“Why what?” You stand up, taking a step toward the desk. “You don’t think my work is good enough that he would see some talent in me?”

“I didn’t say that, either. You’re smart, articulate, you think on your feet. But that describes most of the employees here. I only meant there could be a reason he singles you out.”

Fuck.

In four short weeks Cole Trenton has managed to see what no one else could.

[roseprincesskristina]

Axl's First Exciting Mission

((Hey guys. Today, in going to create a new fan fic today that an idea has flown towards my face. It's about a teenage prototype named Axl, who's very thrilled about the new mission that awaits him, but doesn't really know yet due to the mysterious yet similar maverick hidden within the underground basement of Maverick Hunter HQ that X has warned him about. So again, this story contains yaoi and I understand that it made you uncomfortable. However, if you're a fan, then welcome aboard. Without further ado, please enjoy this fiction. 😊))

Abel City. One of the most clearest town state of all, home of the inhabitants of Earth filled with humans and reploids altogether with meek, sided along of peace. No matter the differences, negligence or other, everyone who is new to the city are freshly more than welcome to live alongside all individuals. Before the roaring stampede of Mavericks would attempt to ruin tranquility, commanded by the gruesome but merciless overlord formerly known as the commander of the Maverick Hunters created by Dr. Cain, Sigma. During the reconnaissance given by his creator to locate the dangerous red maverick, the unstoppable Wily Virus have taken control or finds its way within his core, reestablish the morality. Forcing him to surrender to its power succumbing everything belonging to him, erased right quickly. The growling aura shouts, unleashing the new and improved villain to all who have feared more than their own weaknesses. Gathered up several more irregulars to make an army, destroying the town, killing a few humans, painting the whole planet with his dreams bursting into reality of rearranging a new world for only the strong and powerful reploids to rule. However, it was interrupted by the dynamic duo, X and Zero, shutting down the false fantasy by defeating 8 bosses including the crazed menace. Time and time again. No matter how he would return with more of his invincible forms due to his manipulation of other reploids such Dr. Doppler, Repliforce, Gate, and the rest, the irregular busting crime stoppers will always put an end to his wretched schemes for a new life. After his defeat, tranquility has regain its colors once more, the meaningless conflict between robots and humanity have been silenced. All thanks to the hopeful hunters that every civilization will always look up to.

Not only if there were two that could battle against more threats other than the malicious maverick king, but another hero that arrives to the scene. One that possesses such a great ability like no other being. A compassionate soul so young, lacking maturity yet not the interest of helping those in need when it comes to danger. His name is Axl. Armor themed of the navy blue color striped of red lines, detailed with an X shaped scar across the face by an unknown accident, spiky upward hair and helmet design with a camera lens type inside the crystal. Left the group called Red Alert by his decision on his own to become a hunter due to the view of his friends and scythe wielding leader Red changing their desires of using the briefcase full of chips stolen from Sheeda and the boss for power. Chased by a large mechaniloid, met and teamed up with the crimson sword slasher by taking it down, mistakenly arrested, refused by the indigo pacifist of being or becoming a full pledged hunter, facing off his old colleagues and Red, dueling with the previous mastermind from the beginning and saved the earth again. Still refused, an emergency has been briefed by the blonde navigator, calling to the young gun shooter to race into action.

A new generation built by a blue print, enhanced with the special kind of item known as the Copy Chip. With it, it access the DNA of all reploids even to resist various types of pestilence from every corner. Sadly, the least have chosen to become corrupted as a maverick, including the flesh hating ex commander, at will. None of them have ever experienced such a miracle bestowed upon them. But it doesn't mean that they're immortal. The generation have the same mortality as a few reploids and human alike, making them quite special within their own way possible. Posing them, including the youngster, as hopes of the future as well as protectors. For the land will relax in meekfulness while the heroes do the rest.

Somewhere at Hunter Base, a secret government domain of skilled hunters, the autumn hair youngling rests around the table with legs crossed, seating into the chair slightly bored after the war has ended. Blowing a mist of a sigh. Sure there are no crimes of fire that would be happening right now, but nothing very exciting could ever seek for his attention. For he is lingering in his own boredom by daydreaming.

"Man... This is so boring... Couldn't there be anything fun around here for me do so I wouldn't die in my own sleep?" Groaned the teenage prototype, tilting the side of his head against the hand. Slowly collapsing into a tired state until the Class A expert would arrive at his direction, folding his arms.

"Listen, Axl. I know that you're furiously bored cause of no casualties or invading threats coming to screw up everyone's day, but you have to learn to be patient and let disaster come to us first when duty calls." He explained.

"I know... But it's just no fun sitting around the base to do ABSOLUTELY nothing. Sigh... This is lame..." He griped silently.

"We get it, kiddo. There isn't a speck of villainy around these parts, but It's not the end of the world that quickly, ya know."

"Well.... I guess you're right, Zero. Don't know why I was whining about since we took care of that maverick jerkface. I mean, the three of us, taking the toll on him."

"Heh. I know, and you even single handedly knocked out Sigma with your special copy ability to save our asses. "

"Darn right! Heh. He didn't know what hit him! Thanks to you guys, the legendary Maverick Hunters!"

"No, kid. Thank YOU. Without your help, we would've been dead right now. You're the real hero that the world needs."

"You think so?"

"I know so. But you still got a lot to learn when you're a hunter. Facing with tougher baddies, saving the innocents and all that."

"You got it, boss! Thanks again." Grinned Axl.

"Anytime."

Both of them stare into their peers for just a moment until the reploid teen would lean closer, accidentally deepens the long haired senior with a longing kiss. Laying his hands onto his cheek when he blush with surprised.

"Mmmph?!"

"Mmmm...  Mmmmm..." 

"Mmmmmph...!"

"Mmmm... Hmm?! Oh shoot! Sorry Zero!" He pulled himself away. 

"Axl! What the hell are you doing?! We're not supposed to be doing something inappropriate in public!" He angrily flustered.

"Oops... He he... My bad... Didn't know what got over me."

"Ugh... Look, just try to control yourself, OK? Cause it's getting too weird. And by the way, X told me about an unknown maverick yesterday."

"Really? There's a new bad guy?"

"Mhmm. He was incredibly dangerous. Not to mention as a vampiric version."

"A vampire?"

"Yes. The creature of the night that drinks the blood of mortals to survive, like in the movies. But this baddie is different. He possess as an incubus of some sort. Flirting with woman both reploid and human at once. Or perhaps secretly someone else... Acted very sultry as his personality, but enhanced with an elemental use. Like ice for starters."

"Whoa... Is he really dangerous?"

"Precisely. He had both vampire and incubus personas. But a calming expression. Also with sneaky eyes."

"Wow.... "

Furthermore, he continuously explains more of the mysterious figure's tricks and powerful elements aiding his claws, warning the rookie about what he could do anyone with the unavoidable "secret weapon" that he tells X and crew. Unlike the young gun slinger, everyone is quite aware of this deadly strategy.

"Is that so?" He asked.

"Yes. It's something that no other reploid would escape from. Once being controlled, there's no chance of resisting against it before the..." Unable to say the rest of the sentence it out loud, he finish it by speaking into the kid's earport. Then made him jump of shock.I

"NO WAY! He seduces them?!"

"Not so loud. But yes. He performs a sexual lip locking with females of all kinds. Endlessly."

"Holy crap.... And I thought that a succubus would do the same thing to a guy."

"Yeah. Plus, he would even get a taste of their bodies if necessary..."

"Ewww..."

"But anyway, there's nothing to worry about it now. We've already sealed him underneath the containment basement built with preventable locks." He assured to the wild child, patting his shoulder. "So all is well."

"Heh. Guess so. I was getting a little frantic there. Say, what if he would do the same to me?" He said curiously. But on the inside, quite scared.

"Come on, Axl. There's no way that he would get to you. Or is there?* Smirked the golden headed saber wielder, teasing him.

"Uh oh...."

"Oh, I'm just yanking your chains. So long as you stay put, far away from that containment cell. I'm counting you to remain on your post. Understood?"

"Yes sir! I'll try my best!" He saluted.

"Good. I'll be in the meeting room. Do your best, Axl." Ordered Zero as he nodded.

"You got it!"

"One more thing... If anything happens when you're in danger, be sure to contact me or X by the earport."

"Roger that!"

"Oh. And one last thing..." He went up to the energetic teen boy, grabs him by the head to return the sinking kiss aggressively. 

"Mmmph!!"

"Mmmmmmmmmwah. There. Now we're even."

"Ack! *Cough cough* Geez, Zero! Guess that'll teach me a lesson!"

"Just giving back the favor. Try to continue your duty, got that?" He chuckled teasingly, before leaving for a meeting.

"Yes sir...." Spat the young begginer. 

With the examination talk aside, he walked off to attend a meeting with other hunters and navigators. But, then stopped for a pondering solution just for the lad in dark blue due to the kiss. Stood there into the middle of the hall, he felt the affected warmth melting away the coldness by touching his lips. Even though he haven't experienced nor practice empathy towards anyone but to his friends that he deeply trusts before.

"Huh... What is this weird tingling that I'm getting? Sure it was an accident, but... it feels so soft... And tense..." He imagined. "Hmm... Maybe the kiss wasn't such a bad accident after all. Actually, it's kinda hot too... Mmmm... Axl... He really is a good kid, even though his immaturity annoys the hell outta me a little." Smiling slowly from the straight stern written on his face, the idea has driven to his mind for a moment. Granting him the opportunity to pose as dangerous yet sexy winged maverick for his young friend to "fight off" with. He quickly walks into the room while no one is looking, morphing his original armor into an Absolute transformation to act as the unknown maverick. 

"He he he... Perhaps I'll give the brave little hunter a special solo mission he'll never forget~ A chilling "battle", that is~" He plotted. Cycling his tongue around the pale lips, tasting the smooching marks led by the novice hunter from the former organization of assassins. For a surprise trick will never fail to get the jump on him. 

Meanwhile, outside into the garden fields behind HQ during midnight, the emerald eyed gun blaster is relaxing his butt off from all the boring worriness dancing across his head all cheered up from the conversation he had with the die hard blonde, arms at the back of his head and boots crossed. Watching above the glittering stars of the night skies, so beautiful and sparkly to his pupils.

"Ahhh... What a beautiful nightfall... No wars, criminals or intruding crooks around at bay... Just some all out peace at last...." Sighed the dual wielding lad, succumbed by the wonders of the brighten dots as well as the graceful moon. The decent opposite of daytime for every or less generations to witness, secondly to lay back and watch. Everything that the red violet ex maverick have said about peace is very true, no worries, miscreants or anything too risky for that matter. It is a cesspool of non violent freedom to swim about all the time without ever getting out. 

"I really miss Red... He's like the true father I never had, before going bonkers from those stupid case loaded with corny chips that changed him... Sigh.... But, his DNA will always be carried within my mimic enhancement... And in my memories too..." Tears have descended from his eyes, remembering of his foster father that caused him to grieve. However, as the new recruited hunter, he wiped them off by fist to get his spirit together. 

"*Sniff...* What am I sobbing for...? Big boys don't cry. They would stay valiant and kick the crap outta fear! Heck, I'm a brave man now, in fact, I'm a Maverick Hunter! Yeah! Those creeps are gonna be very sorry if they first took a gander of me!" Cheering himself up with self encouragement, he would practice his kicks into the middle of the garden, fantasizing of him shooting multiple enemies who are robbing banks, abusing civilians and more. Hearing the applause washing all over him, women admire his fearlessness by delicate smooches. It will be his wonderful dream come true. 

"Yeah.... That's right, ladies... Plenty of me to go around... He he he..." He imagines of himself surrounded by women giving him kisses by gently stroking his body all over. Until suddenly, a ringing has disturbed his daydreaming sequence. Must be an emergency or some sort. Or worse, he might have done anything disrespectful by switching the report papers. He then respond by the ear port.

"This is Axl."

"He he he he.... Hello there, Maverick Hunter Axl...." Then, a sudden deep voice has reached to him with a comely yet seductive vibe. 

"Who is this?! Where's Zero?!" Replied Axl, demanding for a certain answer. 

"There's no need to be angry, boy... I'm sure that he's perfectly safe with me... For now... He he he..." He replied. 

"You bastard!"

"Mmm... Aren't we fueled with anger? I like that in a boy~ Truly that I would admire a woman, but never mind them... For I already found someone right in front of me~"

"Found who!?"

"You~" 

What the young pistol user didn't really know, despite of a mysterious call, is that a dangerous "maverick" was quietly behind him the entire time. He have felt his chilling presence speaking to his ears until he jumped back from the "enemy". 

"What the?! Who are you?!"

"He he he... Haven't your precious red friend ever warned you about me~?"

"So you're that scary looking maverick jerk that he told me about!"

"Precisely~ But enough of the meaningless introductions~ I've come here to have fun with you~" Approaching the incubus themed reploid, making his way to the youthful ward of the hunters. 

"W...What are you doing?! Step off from me!" He quivered slightly, reversing himself from his opponent while trying to gulp his pride whole. "Y..You're suppose to seduce women, not men!"

"You're correct, my young plaything~ But...." He teleported for moment. Seeing as kind of a magic trick, the former member of Red Alert was infuriated by that. But, giving him a chance to draw out his trusty Axl Bullets just in case the malicious "intruder" reveals himself again.

"All right. This is it. Time to take out some maverick tr-" Then, something very impossible has happened to him. He was interrupted by the disappearing individual, now visible, by placing his clawed hand upon his innocent cheeks. Rubbing them for a quick second until the touch has intrigued his interests.

"Ohh yes~ Your flawless face is so passionate, along with your delicious figure~ So hot~" He examined, circling his palms very slowly. 

"H...Huh...?!" He frozed. 

"Not only do I desire for females, but in secret, I love males as well~ That's why I found you, little boy~ Now, how about a little privacy to shield ourselves from this world~?

"Are you insane?! Why would I wanna date a-" Stopped once more with a hungry kiss had made the adolescent reploid dropped his weapons. Defeated by something very consensual that he had never seen before.

"Mmmmph! Mmmph!" 

"Mmmmmm~ Just try to relax~ And let go of your unwanted fury you've kept for so long~" Repelled the goth colored vampire, staring at his leaf colored eyes to hypnotize him. 

"Mmmmm...." At last, he was fully compelled to the deadly spell that Zero mentioned earlier. He tried to fight it off, but it too late.

"Good boy~ Now, let's retreat into a secret place to have our little mission together~ Forever~" 

"Yes, master..." 

Teleporting both him, along with his mind controlled captive to a darker basement cell underneath the base to continue their "battle" in peace, they can finally have a much more privacy zone to make some love. Setting the youngling onto the bed gently while pinning him down softly, he began to sip his longing kiss once again into a seductive way. 

"Mmm~ Mmmmm~ God, your lips are very tasty, but yet beautiful~ I love it when it shines brightly than a diamond~" He was fascinated by his pure and polished lips. 

"Mmmm..." The future hunter would conduct the same while hugging around his master's neck, giving into the lip mashing. Connecting both of their armored bodies with approach to began the intensive grinding. Gripped tightly of their embrace to never release each other or to be separated. Finally alone together, into the dark underground area filled with nothing but lights which will be activated automatically by clapping. But it's probably best to have them off for a special night just for two. 

Their anatomy would polish one another into a normal pace, meeting face to face. Or perhaps chest to chest. Jointed into a pleasurable condition as the demonic ice maverick tilted his head towards the thinly neck of the rambunctious prototype, running up and down of his snake like tongue to please him. 

"U...Unh~..." 

"He he he... You like that~? How about this~?" He downward his tongue a little further, all over his body, and mostly, his little private briefs. 

"Unh... Unh....!" The flustered expression has appeared in his face. 

"That's it, little man~ Let it all out~" 

"Unh.... Unh... Unh.... Oh man.... It's so good... Unh..."

He continued to taste more of the youthful newbie, onto the legs, even the chest and mouth. Then returns for a thirsty tongue on tongue action to juice up the peacefully mood. 

"Mmmph...." Moaned the pea shooting individual.

"Mmmmm~"

Their tongues were performing a tango during a kiss. Enjoying a perfectly evening at meek for a desirable dance. Dipping one of them after a dazzling twirl. Outside, the incubus would place his clawed hand upon the dual wielding lad's cute little buttocks for a casual spanking. 

"Ahh....!"

"Well, you have been a very naughty boy, Axl~" He said playfully, gripping it very hungrily.

"Ahh...! Yes, I'm a very bad boy, master..." He moaned again, but with an enjoyable act. 

"You know what happens to bad little boys~? They deserved a good spanking~" 

He then gives him a very good slap to the ass, not too hard but lightly. Patting it like a beloved pet.

"Mmm... More master..." Begged Axl. 

"That's more like it~ Yes, you may have another~" He rapidly punishes the tiny little rump. Just to give him more. 

This was his first special mission he had with the shadowed themed hunter unlike any kind. Thrilling and exciting for a boat load of duels awaiting for his call when it comes to danger. He asked for something dangerous, now it arrives to him and was purposely delivered. Endlessly lingering by his ice user's grasp, but an a lustful way. Flushing away his tired boredom along with the annoyed whining down the toilet for good. For the new memories of his new friends have replaced the previous one from his mind, straighteningly stored to inherit it forever. 

And finally, the true feud shall finally commenced. 

"Now then~ Are you ready~?" Questioned the winged hunter.

"Ready when you are, master." He replied, lending his neck closely to him with his dipped head. 

"Yeeeeeesssss~ I'm going to enjoy this more like I admire you~" He grinned, revealing his white diamond fangs for a scrumptious dinner. Axl was a little nervous, but not afraid to allow his mentor to seduce his sexy neck. Hissing very quietly with a purr, he gently bit it, inserting his fangs into the synthetic flesh. 

"A...Ahhh...."

"Mmmmm~" 

Like any other vampire whose patiently desperate for blood in order to survive, he is interest into necks. One of his favorite sexual parts of the body that will never cease to amaze him by the slightest. It really inspired his needs even more than talon his enemies with one strike. Plus, he even dreams in his slumber. And now, he finally had a chance to permanently suck on the thin yet strongly part of the new gen teenager. 

"Mmmmmmmm~ So sexy~" He moaned comely, wiggling the tongue to clean off the blood from the marks on his disciple's neck. 

"Ahhh..." He moaned yet again, puffing out a warm steam from his mouth. Enjoying his solo mission to the fullest than just lounging around at his post. 

"Mmm~ Your blood is so hyper and sweet~ I really appreciate it so much, Axl~" Licked the unknown maverick, who later showed his true identity by removing his helmet. The rookie gunner gasped, knowing it was...

"Zero!?"

"Hey, kiddo~ Liking your new mission~?" Said the pale blonde upperclassmen. The plot twist has shocked the scarred youth. 

"You're the unnamed maverick?!"

"That's right~ Just giving you a new lesson when this is all over~"

"No freaking way! I...I'm really sorry for kissing like that! It's not like me at all! I..." He was silenced by his friend's deep smooch as his forgiveness for the accident that occurred from the start. 

"Heh. Don't worry about it, you cute little runt~ Accidents happen sometimes when you're new~ So there's no need to get all apologetic about it~" 

"Well... You're right, Zero. Thanks for understanding." He cheered up.

"So~ Ready to continue our little private mission together, partner?"

"You know it, boss~"

And so, two hunters have resume their reconnaissance by kissing into the lips once more, making out in peace with the saber wielding senior's wings folded across them for a more comfortable terms. 

"Oh Zero~"

"Axl~"

"Zero~...." 

"Axl~....."

"Zero~...." He whispered.

"Axl~...." Same with the black crimson blond.

Tranquillity has comfort the town of Abel City during the return, free from the dreaded master and his army of mavericks pillaging amok by trying to scare humanity from the face of existence, all dealt with by the fearless Maverick Hunters. And not to mention Axl as well, the third hero that the world will look up to and will always count on. He may have lack immaturity unlike X and Zero, but has the potential will for caring about his trustworthy friends and saving everyone from certain devastation invading the earth. But for now, all is peace once again. And their thinks belong to the true hero for his bravery to protect mankind at all cost and his pure of heart. Thank you, Maverick Hunter Axl, for your limitless generosity and protection of all humans and reploids living in equality, as well as in harmony. 

The End

[pekorosu]

no.6 novels thinky thoughts

--------

so… i ended up finishing all 9 vols in about a week haha.

my overall impression? it was… alright, i guess.

not that i didn’t enjoy it, in fact, the first half was great! by the time i reached the end though, i had mixed feelings. sat on it for a week or so but a lot of it remains a vague hhhmmmmmblah blob that i’m not done figuring out. 

i still wanna make a post as a form of closure for myself though, so i’m just gonna dump whatever comes to mind here. don’t mind me.

so... the ending. i guess it was supposed to be open-ended in a hopeful way, but it just came across as unsettling to me. the ~chosen one~ thing rubbed me the wrong way, because shion was entrusted with an enormous responsibility that no 16 year old should even be shouldering in the first place. (i mean yea okay he did willingly accept it, but still. why only him? why aren’t they all collectively responsible?) 

meanwhile the actual perpetrators get to escape all the consequences by just… dying. just like that. and the rest of them, especially the adults… they’re pretty much useless? even the ones that wanted to do something by staging a revolt ended up being unreliable either bc 1. they were drunk on revenge or 2. all that power was getting to their head. ironically, rou was like “it’s all on us, the adults” but in the end even he decided to just spend the rest of his life chilling out underground -_-

on top of that, shion had to let go of nezumi. idk about y’all but that ending, that “promise to meet again” kiss was like… i couldn’t help but wonder if nezumi only did that because shion was all “a world without you is meaningless” and he had to give him something to cling onto. followed by shion’s devoted “i’ll keep waiting” which… idk, something about it felt utterly depressing. to be fair, nezumi always keeps his promises and the epilogue was vaguely hopeful i guess, but it still didn’t give me the sense of closure that i needed. 

to clarify, i’m not saying it’s a bad ending. it’s realistic and the implication that there’s still a lot of work to be done is very much in line with the story’s themes. just that something about it didn’t work for me personally, plus the lead up to it felt rushed, so it left me feeling :/ when i was done.

the plot… well, it started out exciting but turned out to be rather anticlimactic? the shift from science to supernatural had a proper build up, but still felt like a letdown for some reason… 

i think... maybe it’s bc dystopian stories tend to culminate in a huge battle and stuff like that, while this one just… didn’t. there was no final showdown with the Big Bad. there was chaos, but it hadn’t descended into total devastation yet, with the ultimate message that maintaining peace is always more preferable in order to prevent any more senseless deaths. and i guess that threw me off a little? not in a bad way, it was just unexpected bc i’m so used to the whole “final boss” format.

speaking of which, the antagonists were very one-dimensional, and for dictators they were surprisingly… weak. i mean, i get that hubris was precisely the reason for their carelessness and subsequent destruction, but it felt too convenient, too simple.

and i was sorta expecting something more gruesome when they got to the top floor of the correctional facility. idk, i guess brains floating in tubes just couldn’t compare with that scene of them climbing a mountain of corpses+half-alive people, which i had the misfortune of reading right before dinner. that was straight up horror.

and for all its depiction of the horrors of a police state, of poverty, famine, genocide… i felt like it stopped short of something. this isn’t meant to be a proper critique ofc, just that i remember feeling like the writing came across as wishy-washy or superficial at times, even though i knew the author’s intention wasn’t to hand out answers, but to get the readers to think. something about the way it was handled left me feeling unsatisfied i guess. 

that said, there were stuff that i did like! eg. i liked how the story dealt with the “we’re all human beings” statement from shion. it started out as a simple, idealistic “all lives matter” kind of thing, only to be turned on its head when he comes face-to-face with the kind of atrocities no.6 has committed. then it becomes less about that and more “our shared humanity means that we too have the capability to become cruel and apathetic.” or at least, that was my takeaway. 

hmm… in hindsight, i think it does what it set out to do well enough. that is, to convey a certain message to a certain group of people (teenagers i guess. this is YA after all). to inspire them to think for themselves, to realise that apathy is dangerous and to take responsibility for their own learning, but also to know that doing the “right” thing is not just about good intentions; it is constant hard work but still important work... among others. all of which are solid themes and messages. god knows when i was younger and learning about all this for the first time, even the simplest things would leave me mindblown for days. if i’d read this back then i imagine it would’ve left a bigger impression too.

the main highlight for me though, was probably the character scenes. i was surprised to find out how introspective the story was, with the majority of it dedicated to the characters’ internal thoughts and conflicts. 

sadly though, the side charas’ POVs (like inukashi’s and karan’s) ended up becoming tediously repetitive and draggy despite starting out strong. and safu… poor safu, she pretty much got the shortest end of the shit stick being the Plot Device Damsel In Distress Who Is Eventually Fridged. i had higher hopes for her ):

as for the rest… i don’t really care about rikiga… and who else… oh right! small nezumi team! hamlet, cravat and tsukiyo. 10/10 love them, would never get tired of their cute little squeaks.

and the protags… shion started out kinda bland but ended up being the easiest to relate to haha. eg. his constant struggle to reconcile his personal ideals with practical reality. and it was interesting to see how he confronted and came to terms with some harsh truths. he always tries so hard. sometimes it hurt to read, but it made me want to root for him and in a way, it gave me strength too. 

also his apparent “lack of interest” in sex/women/etc... i know it’s generally played for laughs or to highlight his ~naivete~ or ~immaturity~, but whatever lol it’s something i can relate to it v strongly.

nezumi took a while for me to warm up to even when i understood why he is the way he is. the callousness, hostility, volatility… they’re all defense mechanisms rooted in his trauma, but still, knowing that didn’t make him any less irritating lol. he could be deeply hypocritical at times and his tendency to randomly explode at shion was grating. on the plus side, it’s always very satisfying whenever we do get a glimpse of his more vulnerable side.

them as a pair though… i’m not a huge fan of the “fate brought us together” trope so i was skeptical at first. nezumi being so prickly and moody at first didn’t help either, but shion. oh shion, he tried so hard to worm himself into nezumi’s heart, to prove himself worthy, that i couldn’t help but be charmed. to me, they started out more like “snarky senpai and curious kouhai” as opposed to “friends” or even “potential enemies” as nezumi liked to insist they were, which made for an amusing dynamic. 

and while they did grow on me over time, they don’t make me feel that INTENSE CHEST STABBING feeling that i get with other ships. idk why, i mean, their sarcastic exchanges were amusing, their brutally honest arguments were compelling, and the pining (which is my #1 weakness) was through the fucking roof with shion. but still, something was missing.

sidenote on something the author mentioned in the guidebook interview (my own rough t/l):

I like writing about relationships between people of the same sex, not just boys. When it comes to the opposite sex, the end result of being attracted to each other is always romantic love, or getting married…… To a certain extent, the “template” for that is already fixed, isn’t it? But when it comes to the same sex, there can exist a connection that can’t be expressed in the usual cliched words like friendship, camaraderie, love, hatred… I think there’s meaning in writing about relationships that can’t be clearly defined. What’s between Shion and Nezumi is a “one-of-a-kind connection” that’s born out of a certain situation, out of certain experiences that only they have gone through. I wanted to find out what exactly that connection is, which was why I wanted to try writing it. Of course, that “one-of-a-kind connection” would probably exist between people of the opposite sex as well. After all, the feelings that emerge from a chance meeting of two human beings can never be something that’s mass-produced. But still, I think the one thing that I really enjoy writing about has got to be the unique emotions that develop between people of the same sex.

i know she doesn’t mean anything negative here, but idk… it kinda reminds me of the way yoshida akimi discussed ash and eiji’s relationship in banana fish, and the way she discussed what she found so special about same-sex relationships that is lacking in m/f relationships. and something about it bugs me so much. i don’t even know why or how to explain it… 

it sounds like to them, there’s something fundamentally “different” about same-sex relationships. "different” doesn’t necessarily mean “bad” and in fact, it even sounds positive in this context because the implication is that that “difference” allows for more freedom and variety in relationship dynamics. but i guess, the closest thing that i can come up with is that it sounds… othering? i don’t know….......

speaking of which, i suppose shion/safu is a subversion of that typical m/f relationship. shion can never love her the way she wants him to, which is heartbreaking, but also refreshing in a way.

and you know what… it just occurred to me that maybe, maybe… it’s the same with shion and nezumi. and maybe that’s why something about them feels off to me. i mean, obviously the strength of their feelings for each other is indisputable, but idk if the essence of it is the same. 

shrugs. anyway, yeah.

the honest truth is that, while i enjoyed their interactions immensely, they just don’t ignite the same fire in me as all my other otps. that said, i still do have a lot of thoughts on them! maybe that’s a post for another day.

some other stray thoughts:

- was it ever explained how nezumi built his robo rats? or where tf he managed to gather so many gold coins? was this something the story just handwaved or did i just forget?

- nezumi wanting to leave on a journey at the end baffled me. even though him eventually leaving was foreshadowed a couple times, he never really struck me as a wanderer to begin with. but now that i think about it… i wonder if he’s leaving bc he wants to, or rather, needs to look out for any other remaining forests and natural environments. that’s what his people did, didn’t they? protect the forests. i wonder if he’s going to go look for others like himself. after all, he’s the only surviving indigenous person left in the area surrounding no.6, isn’t he? hmmm.

language-wise... this is my first proper japanese (light) novel so i’m feeling kinda accomplished rn! lol. it was surprisingly not as tough as i had expected. i think the most difficult part was actually reading the quotes at the beginning of each chapter bc it’s in a font that’s so hard to make out.

oh, and again, some parts felt really redundant. i kept wondering if it was a language thing or an author thing. either way, i felt like there were quite a few unnecessary rehashes that could’ve been omitted to improve the pacing. 

sequels, other adaptations...

i’ve not read “beyond” yet, which apparently has sequel-ish bits? i’ve ordered it, it’s on its way, but i have a feeling my impression won’t change that much even after i’ve read it. heck, it might get worse judging by all these lukewarm reviews. i’m definitely gonna see this through to the end, but i’m feeling kinda scared now lol.

i might check out the anime? based on the summaries on wiki, it sounds like quite a lot has been altered, but i’m still curious about the visuals. dunno if i’d wanna check out the manga. if it’s exactly the same as the novels or the anime then maybe not…

oh yeah, their anime/manga versions look quite different to how i imagined them! mine’s closer to the novel covers i guess. especially nezumi. i imagined him with short hair. maybe not all super saiyan like the one below, but yea.

lastly, i just had a good look at all the vol covers and i actually think they look pretty cool! i’m really glad i chose to get this version instead of the bunkobon. i mean, i don’t know if i will ever reread this again, but at least the covers are nice to look at haha.

[suzyundertale]

Deltarune Theory - The Red SOUL

It’s pretty clear that, in Deltarune, the person we are “playing” as is not Kris directly, but the red SOUL that is controlling them. 

After all, when Kris tosses the SOUL out of their body, we can still control it.

So then, the question is... Who IS the red SOUL?

In this post, I’ll go over several theories, their main points, and evidence for them and against them.

It’s not Kris’ SOUL.

With the information we have, it’s nearly impossible for this SOUL to belong to Kris.

First of all, in the Dark World, Kris’ description describes them as follows:

“Body contains a human SOUL.” Not “THEIR” human SOUL, “A” human SOUL. That’s just about the most suspicious-sounding way you could possibly word that.

Second, the first time we go to save the game, a save file titled “Kris” is overwritten by one with the chosen name of the “creator”.

And, throughout the epilogue, everyone keeps pointing out how strange they’re acting, how they aren’t like themself...

They’re acting unlike themself because they aren’t themself - they’re being controlled by someone else.

... Someone who knows some things Kris doesn’t.

(Because of the above two, I’m going to assume that all of the dialogue choices come from the red SOUL.)

The SOUL also seems a little, um, opinionated:

And they apparently don’t know who Rudy is, when Kris definitely does.

So... who could they be?

Theory 1: The Player (“Player Theory”)

This is probably the most popular theory going around right now. In this theory, the red SOUL represents us, the “player”, as an actual in-game entity. 

This is an understandable interpretation, as Undertale is known to be very meta at times. It’s not totally unthinkable that ‘we’ exist as an actual force in-universe.

Evidence against Player Theory

There’s a significant amount of evidence that the red SOUL has their own personality and is their own person, such as:

They have their own opinions on Mew Mew 2.

They can’t play the piano. I’d imagine a lot of players can, so it’s strange to put this here if they’re meant to be the player. It would be odd to exclude a significant amount of the player base (including Toby himself) for, um, literally no reason.

Support for Player Theory

According to Deltarune’s official website, Deltarune is a game “intended for people who have completed UNDERTALE.” Therefore, the “player” is supposed to know everything that happens in Undertale.

Therefore, these interactions make sense:

... Because the player knows who Sans is, and they know that Alphys and Undyne were dating in Undertale.

...However, there is someone else who knows all the same things about the Undertale universe that the player does.

Theory 2: Frisk

From Undertale, we know that Frisk has a red SOUL. This theory says that the red SOUL present in Deltarune is also the very same Frisk from the Undertale universe.

Evidence against Frisk Theory

Toby has said this about Deltarune in relation to Undertale:

...so, that shoots a bit of a hole in this... but. Hear me out.

[EDIT]

On February 14th 2019, a FAQ section was added to the official Deltarune website. One of the questions is:

Basically confirming that there are “connections” between the Undertale and Deltarune universes.

So... I guess there isn’t any evidence against this theory, now.

[END EDIT]

Support for Frisk Theory

Like the “player”, Frisk knows everything that happened in Undertale. They’re friends with Sans, so they would be excited to see him. They know Alphys and Undyne are dating, so they would be eager to ask Undyne about her girlfriend. And they don’t know who Rudy is.

And, of course... there’s the intro sequence.

Gaster prompts us to create a “vessel” to hold our SOUL...

A vessel that just so happens to always have exactly two stripes on their shirt.

However, the person that interrupts the intro - Chara, if you remember my post about it - doesn’t seem very happy about this whole vessel thing.

... Which would make sense if the red SOUL is actually Frisk. Frisk is Chara’s friend, Chara wouldn’t let Gaster suddenly try to turn them into a whole different person. So... What if Chara was actually trying to say “Your name is Frisk”, but was cut off?

After all, in Undertale, there’s a scene that this is likely meant to be a parallel to...

... And, of course, after beating the game, we know the speaker of this line is Asriel, and he was saying, well, “My name is Asriel”.

Speaking of Chara... the voice of the narration in Deltarune is suspiciously similar to Undertale’s, and at some points, seems to almost intentionally call back to Undertale.

(In case you’re not convinced by the above one - it matches word-for-word in the official Japanese translations, as well.)

...Which would make sense if, not only are we playing as Frisk once again...

...But Chara is the narrator once again, as well.

Of course, Frisk themselves could just as easily be the narrator. It’s difficult to tell at this point. I’m personally leaning towards Chara, though.

Also, it’s probably just a bizarre joke, but this line would make a lot more sense if the person controlling Kris was actually a child: 

My favorite thing about this theory is that if it is true, Toby would have tricked us into thinking Frisk is actually an in-game representation of the player not once, but twice. 

Theory 3: Chara and Asriel’s Combined SOUL

This theory proposes that the SOUL is a combined human-monster soul - specifically, Chara and Asriel’s.

It’s said in Undertale that Asriel absorbed Chara’s SOUL, and then died. However, it’s never explicitly stated that the SOUL shattered. We know that a human SOUL can persist after death presumably indefinitely if preserved properly, and a boss monster SOUL can survive outside the body for a few seconds... But we don’t know how long a combined human-monster SOUL could last outside its body. 

Evidence against Combined SOUL Theory

There’s no evidence in the game that the SOUL belongs to two people. In Undertale, Asriel states that when he and Chara were sharing a SOUL, control was split between them, and they were both actively fighting for control over their body.

There isn’t any instance of any sort of “internal argument” within the SOUL. Unless you interpret the differing dialogue choices as such, but even so, you’d think there’d be more of a hint that there’s actually two people fighting for control. But who knows, maybe it’ll only become more obvious in later chapters...?

Support for Combined SOUL Theory

The red SOUL is... odd. And I don’t mean their personality, I mean the SOUL itself.

(screenshot and gif from this post, which is what inspired this theory!)

When Kris removes the SOUL from their body... It glows red and white. White, of course, is the color of a monster SOUL. 

While it could just be a visual effect... It’s at least one more thing to be suspicious about.

And, like I touched on before, we never know what exactly happened to Chara and Asriel’s combined SOUL. Some people think it could even be the red heart in this machine in Undertale’s True Lab:

... and, with this theory... perhaps that machine might be somehow connected to the Deltarune universe.

Theory 4: Suzy

No, not Susie, Suzy! The one from Undertale. If you don’t know who I’m talking about, read this post.

This is my personal favorite theory, even though it’s quite unlikely. The premise of this theory is that Suzy is actually a human, and the red SOUL belongs to her.

Of course, a lot of people think “Suzy” is simply the Undertale universe version of “Susie”. That’s fair, and that theory certainly fits in with “fast approaching”. But I’m going to assume they’re completely different people for the sake of this theory. (Plus, why would Susie be the only character with a different name from their Undertale counterpart..?)

Evidence against Suzy Theory

This theory doesn’t have an explanation as to why the red SOUL knows about Alphys and Undyne’s relationship. (If you can come up with one, please tell me.) I mean, even though she exists in the Undertale universe, they only get together at the very end, and Suzy almost certainly wasn’t there. But who knows. Maybe she’s been shipping them the whole time. /s

Also, as much as I love the concept, it is quite unlikely that Suzy is a human. I do have a couple of explanations for it as you’ll see below, but I will admit that it’s still kind of a stretch. Still, what’s theory-making without a little fun?

Support for Suzy Theory

No matter whether or not Suzy ends up being the red SOUL, or even a human, she has to be in the full version of Deltarune. And, considering what we know... It’s not a stretch at all to think she might be in the very first chapter.

“Don’t Forget.” The title of the main theme of Deltarune is a phrase that is specifically associated with Suzy. In Undertale, you can only see the “don’t forget” note in Sans’ lab after speaking with Clamgirl and, consequently, learning about the existence of “Suzy”. Therefore, the phrase “don’t forget” is intrinsically linked to her.

This note also gives us another hint about who Suzy is: She knows Sans.

... Hm.

And, of course, her knowing Sans in combination with the fact that you only learn about her when you have certain “fun” values... it’s likely she knows Gaster, or at least of him.

Okay, I think you see where I’m going with this...

Now, for the “Suzy is a human” part. I’ve actually had this theory since before Deltarune, but I never made a post about it or anything.

In Undertale’s No Mercy route, Sans says something quite... interesting.

This line of dialogue implies that Sans knows or knew someone with Determination. A lot of people theorize that this line is referring to Gaster, who may have injected himself with Determination, which is a valid theory... However, I think Sans knew a human. Specifically, a human girl named Suzy.

Sans also knows a lot about concepts such as “LOVE” and “EXP”, and has secret passwords for “time travelers”. This implies that not only did he know someone with Determination, but likely with someone with the ability to “saving”, “loading”, and “resetting”... and, combined with what he talks about in his fight about “knowing our type”... it’s likely this person did a “no mercy run” in the past, or at least killed a significant amount of people.

Wait. If Suzy is a human, and she’s still alive in Undertale... How does she manage to survive in a world of monsters who need just one more human SOUL to break the barrier?

Well.

I have a few theories...

Sub-theory 1: LOVE

I mentioned before that if Suzy is a human, it’s possible, even likely, she has high LOVE.

And, well..

Apparently, once you reach 20 LOVE, you become completely unrecognizable as a human being. Even to the king of all monsters, who would otherwise even compare Frisk to his own dead human child.

Sub-theory 2: “Goner” form

Clamgirl’s “fast approaching” line shows us that, apparently, some people can switch between their “normal” forms and their “goner” (grey) forms at will.

If a human had this ability... perhaps their SOUL would also turn grey? Then it would appear more like a monster SOUL than a human one. Sure, it would still be upside-down, but it’s an interesting thing to think about.

Speaking of “goner” forms...

In the files, Deltarune’s vessel creation sequence is called “GONERMAKER”.

Sub-theory 3: She’s not fully human

Remember earlier how I mentioned how the red SOUL glows red and white in the ending sequence, and how that could possibly be a hint towards the SOUL being not fully human? Well, that could apply here, as well. It’s possible Suzy could be half-monster, but we don’t even know if that’s a possible thing. I’m thinking that perhaps she could have had her SOUL infused with monster magic or dust or something of the like, since it’s likely Gaster experimented with SOULs at some point.

Sub-theory 4: Someone is hiding her/concealing her identity as human

Since Clamgirl talks about Suzy being her neighbor’s daughter, it’s possible her parent is protecting her or even hiding her. I’m not sure how exactly this would work, but it’s a possiblity.

There’s also a few other things I’d like to mention about this theory that I couldn’t fit in:

1. Clamgirl tells Frisk that “In life’s grand scheme, [Suzy] might be why [they] came here in the first place”. This could be implying that Frisk knows Suzy from the surface, which would support the theory that she’s a human. However, it could just as easily be Clamgirl going on about how Frisk and Suzy are fated to meet, especially considering Clamgirl’s phrasing makes it seem like Frisk and Suzy haven’t met before.

2. Clamgirl’s “Fast approaching” line only appears in the Switch version of Undertale, which was released less than two months before chapter one of Deltarune came out. There are 3 possibilities you could take from this:

a. Clamgirl was lying (unlikely)

b. Deltarune’s release was a distraction from some more content coming soon that will actually feature Suzy

c. Suzy is in chapter one of Deltarune.

Conclusion

Anyway, those are the four theories I could come up with on who the red SOUL could be. It could also be a completely new character. Who knows. 

Well, now that you’ve read this far... I’d actually like to gather some data. I’m curious what people think the most likely outcome is after reading this. If you could take a few seconds to vote on this poll, I’d really appreciate it!

[fanficimagery]

Imagine being new to the group and asking Daryl if you can go on a supply run with him.

Prompt courtesy of @obscure-imagines

Daryl X Reader

The comfort and safety of Alexandria is something you thought you'd never see again after months of hiding from the reanimated dead. A year passed, then two and you didn't think there was one decent human left alive.

But then Aaron and Daryl found you, and Rick asked you some questions pertaining to how many reanimated dead you've killed, how many alive human beings you've killed, and why. The questions were a bit odd, but they apparently liked your answers and offered you a place of relative safety soon after. You wept when you saw the normalcy of Alexandria and confined yourself for days inside your new house.

Eventually though, the silence and the mundane activities going on along the streets of Alexandria fill you with anxiety. You need to get out and.. do something. Go somewhere. Be productive. But the only way to do that is to speak with someone in charge of going out on runs.

Dressed in jeans, scuffed up boots, and a loose flannel thrown atop a tank top, you find Daryl Dixon fixing up something underneath the hood of a car and smoking a cigarette. He glances up at you, cigarette dangling from between his lips as he blows smoke out through his nose. "Can I bum one off of you?" You ask, shifting your weight from foot to foot.

Daryl's eyes narrow briefly before he nods. Wiping the grime off his hands, he then reaches into the pocket of his sleeveless shirt and pulls out a crumpled pack of cigarettes. "Didn't know 'ya smoked."

He tosses the pack to you and you catch them, but you only end up fiddling with the casing. "I, uh, I don't. I just needed an opener."

"For?"

"For my next question." You take a deep breath and then blow it out in a huff. "If you're going out on a run, can I tag along? I really need to stretch my legs."

Looking you up and down, Daryl pinches the cigarette between his lips to remove it and flick the ash off. "You quick on 'ya feet?" You nod. "Good with a gun or knife?" Another nod. "Willin' to follow instructions?"

"Yep. As long as you give me a bit of time to look for some things I need, then I have no problem followin' orders."

"Okay." Daryl nods and then takes another quick drag of his cigarette. As he talks, the smoke escapes from between his lips. "We leave a little after noon. Don't be late."

"I won't." You finally smile at him. "Thanks."

You meet up with Daryl, Tara, and Noah when it's time to head out. Rick's standing with the assembled group and he gives you a nod when you walk up in your same outfit as earlier, plus knives strapped to your thighs and a crowbar dangling from one hand.

"Remember to be in an' out," Rick tells you all. "Grab the necessities first an' if Daryl says it's okay to head back in, then grab stuff you think the others might find use of or whatever. If you have to weigh the risks, it's not worth it."

As the other three start to load up the car, Rick makes his way towards you. "Hey, Grimes."

"Y/N," he grins. "You good to be out there?"

"Yeah. For sure," you tell him. "Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for being allowed to live here, but I feel so cooped up and need to breathe. I need to keep myself sharp out there and not become lazy behind these walls."

Instead of trying to lecture you about not being too anxious to prove yourself out there, he merely chuckles. "Yeah. We felt like that too when we first got here. Stay sharp. Be careful."

"Don't worry about me, el jefe. I learned how to be light on my feet long ago."

After settling in the backseat of the car with Noah, Daryl gives Tara the okay to start driving. Noah had attempted to lift the lingering silence by putting in a CD, but Daryl was quick to eject it and toss it out the window. Noah's affronted expression had you in tears and it took a good ten minutes for you to calm down.

Then the severity of the situation settled in at the first stop, but unfortunately it was picked clean. The second stop only produced a few cans of vegetables, fruit, and a couple packages of men's socks and underwear that you ended up taking for those in Alexandria. The third store was surrounded by a small horde of walkers, but after talking it out they were easily dispatched with some teamwork. Fortunately and unfortunately, that store only produced a couple bottles of pain relievers and some much needed feminine hygiene products. No food.

"If we're really desperate for food and you're willing to attempt the drive, I might know of a few places that might have remained untouched."

"Yeah? Where?" Daryl asks.

"Sterling."

"Where I found 'ya?"

"One and the same," you grin. "It was my hometown. Kind of lived out in the middle of nowhere with a few neighbors- neighbors which turned out to be doomsday preppers."

"And that helps us how?" Tara wonders. "Those people are meant to survive years underground."

"I might have seen some of them get taken down by the dead." You shrug. "They made a mistake, but I couldn't capitalize on it because there were too many dead lingering near the entrance. And then when Daryl found me-"

"Uh, guys?"

"-I was kind of delirious from a fever."

"Guys!" Noah remarks. "We have a problem." You, Tara, and Daryl glance in the direction Noah is gesturing to and spot the incoming wall of dead. "And to make matters worse, our car is on the other side of them."

"Fuck our lives," you groan.

"Play it smart," Daryl says. "We can take 'em."

"We need to be elevated," you tell them while gripping the crowbar tight in hand. "If we're on the same level as them, we run the chance of being overwhelmed. But say we're in the bed of a truck or on the roof of a car, then all we'd have to do is stand our ground from their grabby hands and stab away to our heart's content."

"Well whatever we're gonna do, we better do it fast."

Noah and Tara take off in a sprint towards the nearest pickup truck and climb their way into the bed. You and Daryl take your time jogging, he letting loose a few bolts into those of the dead who were well ahead of the herd. Then as you're jogging around the corner of an 18-wheeler, a corpse surprises Daryl. And since his hands are full of his crossbow, he really is caught off guard and you throw yourself at them to shove the pointy end of the crowbar into the corpse's skull.

Daryl shoves the corpse off of him and he gives you a terse nod in return. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Now come on, Dixon, we got shit to do."

He smirks at you as you both start jogging again, he tossing his crossbow into the bed of another truck next to the other truck Noah and Tara had chosen. You think about tossing the crowbar to scramble up yourself, but Daryl offers you a hand up and you take it. Then once settled, he nods once again.

"Look, Noah. Mom and Dad are flirting."

You whirl around and almost lose your footing, but Daryl is quick to steady you. "Excuse me?!"

"Oh come on," Tara laughs. "You have to see it. You and D totally took control of today's mission and planned out the details like a boss. You saved his ass back there and the sexual tension sky rocketed out of nowhere." Your cheeks heat up and her eyes widen. "Are you- are you blushing?" She then laughs.

"Fuck off, Tara!" Noah barks out a laugh and even Daryl snorts from behind you. "When we finish here, I'm definitely not sharing the good stuff with you."

She shrugs and then she and Noah get to work as their truck is finally surrounded by the hungry dead. You start stabbing at corpse skulls with the end of your crowbar and then you tense when you feel a warm hand on your thigh. "Relax," Daryl muses. "Just need one of your knives. M'gonna run outta bolts soon."

"Next time warn me before you suddenly feel me up," you mutter. "It's the polite thing to do, Daryl."

"..next time?"

You glance over your shoulder and see his eyebrows are raised in surprise. You shrug. "Well yeah." You suddenly grin, but take out a few more of the dead surrounding the bed of the truck you're in. "Look in a mirror, Dixon. You're hot. I would not mind-"

"Stop," he gruffly drawls.

"I only speak the truth." Chuckling softly, you kill off the last corpse on your side before huffing and turning around to watch him work. You stare at the way his muscles flex as he stabs away, working to clear his side of the dead before you can finally hop back down and get the hell out of dodge. The last corpse goes down and he turns around to face you. Smiling brilliantly, you waggle your eyebrows at him. "Now that- that was spank bank material."

"You're an idiot. Let's go." Though the words are gruff, you catch his lips twitching in amusement before he turns his back on you.

Y/N - 1 Daryl - 0

One way or another, Dixon was totally going to wind up in your bed. Or you in his. Either way ended up in, hopefully, mind blowing sex and you couldn't wait.

[bangtanbabeloveyourself]

Whiskey and Fantasies

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female reader

Word count: 3.9k

Summary: Babysitting Bangtan is nothing to scoff at. Especially when it’s for work. And one of the members wants in your pants but you also kinda wanna keep your job.

Author’s Note: I made this for two reasons. I didn’t get enough drabble requests for Yoongi this year, so I made a short story. I was also inspired by one of my favorite blogs ( @bang-tan-bitches ) and decided to write it out for them. Hope you like it. 

You had been working at BigHit as an intern for a few months, starting during your summer break last year. You wanted to learn how to produce music and all the stars aligned and you were able to land a gig at the same company that represents your favorite boy group ever, BTS.

But, much to your dissatisfaction, you weren’t often around the boys. You could hear them-whether it be from running around the building, screaming, dancing, or singing- you could hear them. It was very rare when you actually got to see them. You had to keep telling yourself that you didn’t get the internship for the boys, you got it for your career. The boys just happened to be a special treat and should be treated as such. You needed to keep that attitude while there.

According to one of the ladies in charge of the program, most interns are fired within the first two weeks because of them pushing their professional boundaries. Some were caught in after hours to search for the boys. (Which explained why you got grilled so hard the one night you stayed over to finish a project). A few attempted to steal a shirt or jacket from one of the members as well. The scariest one was the girl who tried to follow Jungkook home from the company. Those kinds of fans disgusted you. These were human beings. They deserved decency and respect. Those fans gave all of ARMY a bad name.

With those stories in mind, you just gave up on the fantasy of spending time with BTS. It was unprofessional. You valued your job too much to risk it all for a fangirl day dream. You focused on the grunt work that they gave to you, probably taking on more than you should have, but you wanted to prove you were serious about this position. And it truly paid off.

There was a seminar about new production equipment and programs this weekend. You were chosen to join your manager and a few members of the group to attend. If all went well, you would be promoted. This was a huge honor for you. Going to a seminar like this would help to give you a better edge when you go back to class. The fact that some of the boys were going didn't even really hit you until you got a call from your manager a few hours before you were supposed to meet up with everyone. He wasn't going to be able to make it. There was a family emergency.

“But I'm not ready to do this. I don't have any experience. Plus, you have all the hotel information. What am I supposed to do?” You asked as you paced your living room.

“Listen Y/N. Calm down. I will give you the code to my office. Take my work laptop and the company credit card. You can do this. Just think of it as babysitting.” He said.

You forced a laugh. “Babysitting world famous pop stars in a city I've never been to with a company credit card. That doesn't worry you at all?”

You heard a chuckle. “You've proven yourself plenty of times. Besides, the guys have been there before. You just need to make sure they stay out of trouble.”

And with that, you had no choice. You stared at the clock as the time drew near. The knot in your stomach slowly growing. You needed to arrive early to go to your manager's office but you were nervous. Did the others know about him not going? You didn't even know which members were going with you.

Finally you sighed and grabbed your suitcase, double checking everything before making your way out of your apartment and on your way to the office. You managed to arrive without having to talk to anyone. You were able to get up to your manager's office without any disruptions. You opened your phone and typed in the code that he had given you and collected everything he told you to, putting it all in your bag.

When you made it back down to the lobby, you found a small group of about 5 people. The closer you got, you could make out two of the security team. The other three must have been the members.

You approached with caution before giving a soft bow. “Hello. I’m Y/N. I'm sorry, but Mr. Won won't be joining us. He had a family emergency.”

When you stood back up, you had to hold back a gasp. Kim Namjoon, Min Yoongi and Jeon mother fucking Jungkook were all staring at you. You had seen them before, here and there but to be this close, you could see how beautiful they really were.

Namjoon nodded and Jungkook gave you a cute little bunny grin. “Don't worry, he got a hold of me. He said you were the boss.” Namjoon said before ushering you to lead the way.

“She's the boss? But she's barely older than me. How's that fair?” Jungkook teased.

You smirked. “Because I have ‘proven myself multiple times.’” You said, quoting your

boss.

Jungkook snorted. “Are you saying that I haven't?”

Yoongi swatted at the back of Jungkook's head. “Will you quit it? Let the woman do her job.”

You shrugged before you started to walk out towards the car. “All I'm saying is that I'm the one with the company credit card.”

Jungkook's eyes lit up and he moved to walk in front of you, making you stop walking. “So that means you'll be buying the liquor for the hotel?” He asked excitedly.

You smirked at him before patting his head. “That means I have the power to move you out of the top floor suite, maknae, so watch out.”

Namjoon and Yoongi laughed before one of them jokingly shoved the now pouting Jungkook as you all made your way to the black SUV that was parked out front. Despite them being world famous pop stars, they were fairly down to earth. You never imagined you'd feel so at ease around them that you could manage to tease the maknae and get away with it. But you couldn’t take it too far. This was still your job and this was a business trip. You were only here to learn at the seminar and keep the boys out of trouble. Basically, you were just an overpaid babysitter.

The seminar was about two hours away and most of that time was spent quietly. Yoongi had put headphones on as soon as he got comfortable in the car. He was out within minutes. Namjoon also brought headphones but spent most of his time scribbling into a notebook. Jungkook had brought some sort of game with him and kept busy with that for the majority of the trip. When he finally got bored, he started to pester you by asking you a bunch of questions about yourself and your job.

Eventually Namjoon chimed in as well, asking a few questions here and there. You explained your internship and why you wanted to work at BigHit, skimming over the part about you being one of their fans, although it was probably already assumed. Yoongi had woken up at some point- you hadn’t even noticed- until he attempted to ask a question but was interrupted by the door to the SUV opening. You had arrived.

***

You had managed to get the boys checked in with no issues. Apparently Mr. Won had called ahead to let the front desk know the situation. For that, you were grateful. They had reserved the entire top floor of the hotel for BigHit, which meant you all got your own room and didn’t have to worry about other people. The seminar was being held downstairs in one of the large ballrooms, which meant no one had to leave the hotel until everyone left tomorrow. Perfect.

You didn't have much time in between getting everyone checked in and getting all of your things together before the seminar. You decided to take one of the rooms closest to the elevator so you could hear if anyone tried to leave. You looked down at your phone and realized the seminar started in only twenty minutes. You quickly got ready, grabbing all of the things your boss wanted you to bring. Then you rounded up all the guys and made your way down.

Luckily most of the people attending the seminar were very professional. BTS wasn't the only celebrities there, so you didn't have to worry too much. They were really good at formal situations. The seminar wasn't what you were worried about. It was the time after.

The seminar went by smoothly. You took diligent notes for not only your boss, but for yourself as well. Once everyone started to file out, you made sure to keep tabs on all three of them, making sure they all got back to their rooms before you did. By the time you had finally gotten into your room and gotten changed, you had someone pounding on your door. You groaned and got up, opening it. There was a bright eyed maknae smiling down at you.

“So, about that liquor…” he began, batting his long eyelashes at you.

You sighed. “Do you really think getting trashed is a good idea?”

“If you don’t go buy the liquor, he’ll go looking for it.” You heard Namjoon yell from his room.

Jungkook smirked at you and nodded. You groaned before turning around to grab your purse off of your bedside table. “Fine, but you’re staying here until I get back. Namjoon, please, can you watch him?”

Namjoon walked up to your door and gave you the ok with his finger before walking back to his room.

“Why does everyone assume I need baby sat?” Jungkook pouted.

“Because you’re a child.” Yoongi said as he appeared, finally coming out of his room, the one across from yours.

Jungkook rolled his eyes before looking Yoongi over. He was wearing a face mask and long black coat. “Where are you going?” He asked his hyung.

Yoongi yawned before shrugging. “We need liquor and I don’t know if I can trust Y/N’s taste.”

You raised your eyebrow before crossing your arms. “That’s a little rude, don’t you think?”

He shrugged again before making his way towards the elevator. “I have very specific tastes. It’s not your fault.”

You huffed but followed along after him. You didn’t want to have to, but he probably knows where the liquor store is, you don’t. The elevator ride was extremely awkward, for you anyway. Yoongi didn’t seem any different. He stayed quiet, looking through his phone until the doors dinged open. He then made his way out with you at his heels.

“How far away is the liquor store?” You asked as he put his mask fully over his face and walked out of the hotel.

You heard him chuckle. “You were planning on buying the alcohol but have no idea where it is? Jesus, where did they dig you up?”

You glared at him as you walked. If you had heat vision, his hair would be on fire already. “Look, I wasn’t supposed to be in charge. I just came here for the seminar. I just happened to get stuck babysitting you guys. I don’t enjoy it anymore than you do.”

He turned his head to the side to look at you. “Who said I didn’t enjoy it?”

Your eyes widened in surprise. “Wait, what?” Your blush was easily hidden due to the cold weather outside. Luckily. You couldn’t see his whole face but you were willing to bet he had a smirk on his lips.

He didn’t say anything else until you were down the street from the liquor store. He pointed towards it for you. Thankful to have one so close, you rushed past Yoongi and made your way inside to look at the selection.

You weren’t exactly sure what the guys all drank besides soju. You made sure to pick up some of that. You wandered down the vodka aisle, then the tequila aisle, stopping to pick up a bottle there. Finally you made it to the whiskey section. Whiskey was a personal favorite of yours so you were more inclined to buy that.

You looked at each bottle, trying to decide if you should get something new or something you already knew was good. As you debated between two bottles, Yoongi came up from behind you, pressing his chest against your back nonchalantly and grabbed the two whiskey bottles, looking them over.

“Not bad. Maybe I could have trusted your taste.” He said with a hushed voice against your ear. You had to fight back the shiver that wanted to go down your spine.

With that, he took both of the bottles and made his way up to the counter, waiting for you to join him. You brought the rest of the drinks and mixers up, paying for all of it with the company card. You were worried you were spending company money inappropriately. But Namjoon did give you a good reason. This way they can just stay in the hotel. It's safer.

The walk back to the hotel was silent. Yoongi didn't bother to say anything and after that awkward incident with him, you were fine with not talking. Once inside, you dropped off all of the alcohol in Namjoon's room and turned to head back out.

“You're not staying to drink?” Jungkook whined.

You shook your head before pointing at yourself. “Babysitter, remember? Someone needs to stay sober.”

Jungkook groaned and Namjoon smiled, giving you his big dimpled grin. “It won't be that bad. Come on.”

You tried to protest again but a glass of whiskey was pushed into your hand by a wandering Yoongi. He didn't look at you, but took a sip of his own glass as he walked over to an open chair.

You looked down at your glass and then back over to the guys. Jungkook's doe eyes looking hopefully up at you. You sighed and downed the glass, causing Jungkook and Namjoon to cheer. You rolled your eyes and refilled your glass. It was going to be a long night.

***

After a few hours of drinking and playing games, Namjoon had gone to bed. Jungkook passed out on the floor next to the bed. That left you and Yoongi as the only two awake. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and motioned for you to follow him. You did after taking a few moments to stabilize yourself.

He lead you both to his room, opening the door and letting you in. You hesitated for a moment and you heard Yoongi scoff before he gently pushed you into the room. You looked around and saw all of the equipment he had set up. He was only gone for one day and he still managed to bring all of this with him. You couldn't help the spark you felt when you saw it all. You immediately set your drink down on a table and went over to look over all the equipment. You didn't dare touch, but you cautiously hovered over it.

You continued to look over it, making comments here and there. You didn't usually have access to this kinds of equipment unless you were in class. You had completely forgotten where you were and who you were with until he cleared his throat.

“You know, most girls would kill to be in a room alone with a drunken idol. Yet here you are, ogling over my production equipment instead of me.” He tutted before finishing the whiskey in his glass and walking over to you.

You blushed at his comment but shrugged it off. “I made up my mind a long time ago. You guys are a fantasy. My job is a reality. I won't jeopardize that.”

“A fantasy? But darling, I'm right here.” Yoongi spoke softly as he moved against your back just like he had at the liquor store. He ran a finger down your arm, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

You bit your lip and closed your eyes. He was right. This wasn't a fantasy anymore. Min Yoongi was touching you. You two were alone in his room. No one else would know what happened between you.

Yoongi's finger moved from your arm to glide across your waist, right along the waistband of your jeans, sending another shiver down your spine. This time you grabbed his hand, pulling it away from you.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here.” You said before turning to walk out.

But Yoongi held onto your hand, stopping you. You didn't turn around. You just let him hold your hand and you sighed.

“You're getting the chance of a lifetime here, and you're going to turn it down because of an internship?” He asked, sounding almost wounded.

You nodded your head, unable to come up with something else to say. He was right. This could be an amazing opportunity. Sex with Suga of BTS. You'd practically be a legend. But then you would never be taken seriously as a music producer.

“Look at me.” He demanded.

You sighed and turned around, his hand still holding yours. There was something in his eyes, but you couldn't make it out. He started to step towards you and you stepped back until you were against the wall.

He smirked and continued to move closer to you. He held your hand above your head against the wall and leaned in to whisper in your ear. “I won't tell if you won't.”

Your face began to heat up immediately and you felt a tingle between your thighs. You looked away from his face, shaking your head. “It's not a good idea, Yoongi. The company is strictly against this sort of thing.”

“Fuck the company.” He whispered into your ear before he tugged your earlobe between his teeth. It caused you to gasp and you clenched your thighs together.

You could feel the grin on his lips as he moved down to your neck, kissing it softly before leaving little nibbles. He used his free hand to hold onto your waist, pulling you closer to his hardening groin.

You wanted to give in so bad. You wanted to let him do whatever he wanted to you. But you couldn't. If anyone walked in right now, if anyone found out, you'd lose everything you've worked for.

But it felt so good. One of the most beautiful men in the world wanted you. How could you say no? You'd be crazy to say no. But the reality of the situation was too much. He wasn't going to love you. You just happened to be a nice piece of ass that worked for the same company he did. And you were definitely more than just a piece of ass.

As you had your internal struggle, Yoongi had dropped your other hand, now keeping both on your waist. He finally lifted his lips from your neck and looked back at you, confusion washing over his face.

“You're really not into this, are you?” He said with disappointment in his voice.

You met his gaze for a moment, crossing your arms over your chest and looking back at the floor. “It's not that I'm not into it. You are my bias.” You gasped and covered your mouth with your hand.

Yoongi smirked. “Oh really? Good to know.”

You shook your head. “Forget I said that.”

“Unlikely, but continue.” He said as he took a few steps away from you.

You took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Look, you're great and I have so much I would love to learn from you and from working at this company. But like I told you earlier.  I'm not risking my career to be your side piece or your hook up or whatever. I will not jeopardize this job.”

He stayed silent, nodding his head as you spoke. “Interesting take on the situation. But alright, I hear you. No more trying to get in you in my bed. Got it.” He walked over to the door and held it open for you, not saying another word.

You felt a knot grow in your stomach again. You just made your favorite member of BTS hate you. Great way to end the trip. You took a deep breath before bowing towards him and walking out of his room and going straight into yours. So much had gone on in such a short amount of time. Your mind didn’t know how to process everything.

You plopped down onto your bed, not even bothering to get under the sheets. You buried your face in the pillow and groaned. Why did you get your wish after you got serious about the job? Was this punishment for not forwarding those chain emails in middle school? Probably. Luckily for you, with all the alcohol in your system, your mind didn’t wander for long and you managed to fall asleep.

***

The ride back to BigHit was rather uneventful. You all had to get up early to leave because BTS had an appearance for something or other that afternoon. You were still hungover but all of the guys looked perfectly fine. Of course they did. They’re BTS. Before anyone could start a conversation with you, you put your own earbuds in and closed your eyes. You knew you weren’t going to catch up on any sleep, but anything was better than trying to make conversation at this point.

When you finally arrived back at BigHit, you waited until they all got out of the car before you left. You bowed to them and thanked them for the opportunity to work with them and left before they could say another word. You dashed over to the elevator quickly, heading straight up to your boss’ office and returned his laptop and company card. You sat down at his desk, emailing the remaining notes to yourself before closing it and letting out a sigh.  What a weekend.

You waited upstairs for another half hour before you finally felt safe enough to head home. You didn’t want to risk running into them again. You couldn’t face Yoongi again after everything. This was just easier. When you felt the coast was clear, you finally left and made the trek to your apartment.

You were greeted with a giant bouquet of red roses. You reached down to grab the little card that was attached.

You’re more than a nice piece of ass. You’ve got pretty good taste in whiskey too.  See you Monday- Your Bias

You smiled down at the note in your hand, biting your lip and swaying like a lovestruck middle school girl. You knew two things were true: Min Yoongi works quickly, and for the first time in your life, you were excited for a Monday.

[neverwatchedonepiece]

579-580: "Arriving! a Burning Island – Punk Hazard!" and "A Battle in the Heat! Luffy vs. the Giant Dragon!"

Sorry, I couldn’t wait. xD

Delayed gratification? 

Self-control?

Nah. Afraid not. The New World was calling and its siren song was far too strong. Plus, this arc has a killer name: Punk Hazard. I’ve itching to get to it ever since I saw the arc list on CR. And everything is on fire! (Except the part that’s not.)

But I’ve already said too much.

Luffy’s Nose: Meat-Detector and Trouble-Sniffer

Could it be the smell of burning island?

Now I get why you guys were mad at the filler interrupting the canon entry into the New World. The Strawhats were sailing back from wherever their filler adventures had taken them (I will go back and watch Film Z. Honest). Next thing, Zoro spots something interesting from the crow’s nest.

“What’s that? A red sea?” 

It quickly emerged that Zoro did not mean an inlet of the Indian Ocean between the continents of Africa and Asia. No. The sea was red because it was literally on fire. Volcanoes erupted. Lightning shrieked from the sky. Lots of dead, skeletonized fish bobbed in the water.

Awesome. I thought. That is totally metal. This will be fun.

Though fire is a rubber person’s natural enemy, Luffy thought the same. “LET’S GO TO THAT ISLAND!” he yelled.

Yes, Luffy! Please do. :D

Then something sketchy happened. Sunny’s DDM rang. It made a strange, wailing sound Luffy had never heard before. He asked the DDM if it had a stomachache (that was hilarious and oddly thoughtful of him). 

Sanji put him straight. “Luffy, you walnut, that’s an emergency signal.” 

Robin also added, “Most of them are fake. It’s a tactic the Marines use a lot.” (That was a cool, little detail. A hint that maybe the Marines tried to pull this on Robin in the past?)

Luffy processed this information then ignored it immediately. He picked up with his customary greeting: “HELLO, MY NAME IS MONKEY D. LUFFY AND I WILL BECOME THE PIRATE KING.” I should not find this funny now, but I still do. Every damned time. Luffy does not give a crap who knows he’s in the vicinity. I also love that DDM trope and hope Oda never stops using it.

The distress call was from some poor sap on Punk Hazard. “It’s cold, is this the boss? It’s cold. Our guys were cut one after the other. Samurai are gonna kill us! Please help. I’m on Punk Hazard--”

The message cut off abruptly due to premature death (by cutting, I assume).

Robin was convinced the messenger was attempting to lure them into a trap (she wasn’t that far off). Zoro, of course, zoomed in on the samurai.

Brook explained that the samurai was the name for the people of Wano Kingdom (remember the zombie samurai who possessed Brook’s shadow in Thriller Bark and passed on Shusui to Zoro? He came from there). Apparently, the Wano Kingdom is completely closed off to the outside world. It is unaffiliated with the World Government to the point that even Marine ships cannot approach (I’m getting North Sentinelese vibes here, minus the technology aspect).

But Brook was puzzled as to why samurai had been brought up. Distress signal guy said Punk Hazard, not Wano Kingdom. Why were samurai being mentioned? Plus, he said it was cold. Punk Hazard was literally burning. Also, the signal of a baby DDM carried by crews on exploration missions would only stretch as far as Punk Hazard to the Sunny. Why samurai and Wano?

Okay, I thought. This is going well so far. An island is burning. The sea is on fire.  A shady distress signal. A proper mystery is cooking here.

Then things got really interesting.

The action cut to Smoker’s G-5 ship. Robin was right! The Marines *do* listen in to emergency calls. Now Smoker knows the Strawhats are on Punk Hazard. But this was a pain in the ass for them. Punk Hazard had been sealed and made a restricted area after what happened four years ago. How could any living thing exist there? Plus, None of Nami’s new Log Pose needles pointed in the direction of this island, which was in itself suspicious. I wonder if the WG deliberately messed with Punk Hazard’s magnetic field so no one would come across the island by accident?

I felt like a ray of light pierced the heavens.

Disused government facilities is one of my favourite tropes. Resident Evil 2 was one of my favourite games as a kid. Ever since, I’ve loved the, “Oh, crap. Something went kaboom. Abandon ship! And now the protagonist must fight their way out” action plot trop.

Smoker ain’t the type of guy to let that phase him. “We’re going,” he said. So the Marines will show up at one point too. I’m glad. I missed Smoker. He’s been chasing Luffy for years. Gotta give the guy some panel time.

Mythical Creature BBQ

The Strawhats debating over who would escort Luffy to ensure he didn’t do anything dumb was hilarious. Nami was right, though. Luffy has no sense of self-preservation. They drew straws and Zoro, Robin and Usopp were chosen. (Poor Usopp. His disorder flared up again. xD)

Nami used another trick up her sleeve to make a cloud road (a la Skypiea) that soared over the flames, allowing mini Merry to sail over, unscathed. Downside? The road will eventually dissipate, potentially leaving the others stranded. Not so good.

When the reconnaissance team landed, they found Punk Hazard enclosed by an ominous, metal wall. Huge, “DANGER: KEEP OUT!” signs, stamped with the World Government and Marine sigils boosted the peril factor (nice). Of course, massive metal walls are no barrier to Zoro. He sliced open the gate and in they strolled!

Usopp was the only Strawhat who was really dressed for Punk Hazard, with his bare chest and overalls. The place was boiling. Volcanically hot to the point magma leaked from the stones beneath Usopp’s feet. Everything was burning. (By accident or on purpose?) Once Robin surveyed the dwellings, she concluded they were probably not people’s homes. (Evidence for a secret government training facility is growing by the minute here.)

Luffy called out to the Distress Signal Guy. (Was he stupid? This place is boiling! xD) 

Then, randomly, they encountered a supposed mythical creature. Not *the* dragon, as in Monkey D., but a fanged, fire-breathing monster that talked! 

I should learn not to get too attached to monsters in One Piece because they end up on the BBQ half the time. xD  It was cool that Luffy, Zoro, Usopp and Robin encountered a little difficulty in taking it down. Again, that ups the peril factor, which is great. 

Still not quite sure how the guy who was stuck on the dragon’s back managed to make it talk, but I guess I’ll learn how next episode. The only thing I can say is that I don’t think he’s the biggest fan of the Shichibukai. “Are you allies of the Shichibukai too?”

Arc Villain: Gru and his Minions?

Back on Sunny, where it was supposedly safer, kidnappings were afoot! (Excellent. Now everyone’s involved.)

Poor Chopper was wilting in the heat, eating his ice cream. Even Brook and Franky were feeling the burn. Sanji was in the kitchen, preparing some cool snacks, because only a chef who endures the fire of a kitchen every day would be able to endure said heat. I mean, the guy never even took his suit off. He must be flame-retardant.

While Sanji did his thing, outside on the deck, a sinister, Darth-Vader-breathing presence drew near. They placed a canister of sleeping gas on board. One by one, the Strawhats succumbed. (Including Brook, which was kind of weird, but Oda’s Universe, Oda’s Rules.)

For one minute, I thought Sanji might dodge the gas and there would be a grand return to the Sneaky Sanji running gag. But no. He opened the door, got a faceful of the gas, and almost, *almost* reached the DDM to call Luffy before passing out. Argh. Sanji was carted out with the rest by the strange, cycloptic yellow minions.

But Brook was left alone. I knew it! Ever since he was almost overlooked by Hordy’s goons on FMI, I figured Brook would be useful as a stealth agent. No one ever suspects the skeleton! I guess Sanji is in the limelight now. Now more sneaking around for him. Brook has taken over the mantle. Go, Brook!

The Strawhats are being taken to “The Master.” 

I am excited.

I love that these minions think that the “two humans, a cyborg and their pet” will not be missed by anyone. No one except the G-5 ship and an angry Vice-Admiral Smoker heading your way. >:D

Love how these two are tucking into lunch when the sea is literally on fire below them.

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 39

Spoilers, obv.

And we collapse forward on the keyboard and twitch a while. This has been nightmarishly hard. I suspect the last arc will be hard (as nothing in WicDiv is easy) but the things we were juggling here were something else.

Before we dive in, some top-level thinking. The advantage of the way WicDiv is constructed is that we know what we're doing. A friend was just rereading the first arc, and noted how certain elements and approaches simply changed as the tone of the book solidified – while also noting that every direction we did take was there from the off. We knew the What We Were Doing but not always the specific How.

(Not least, as I was a hot mess in 2014. I'm amazed the WicDiv scripts weren't just bahsjasjfaglagsfk.)

But the problem with knowing the direction of the book is you're tied to ideas you may wish you hadn't put in play. Because a five year book is enough time to change significantly in what you consider a good idea or not – and even if you still think it's a good idea in the abstract, it doesn't mean it's an idea you would necessarily want to do any more.

At this point, there's various things flying around. Firstly, Laura has rejected her godhood. That's great. That's clearly the arc of the book. Secondly, Ananke is running her own eternal scheme with its eternal rules. I don't think it's a spoiler to say that Ananke (and I'm using “Ananke” for “Ananke and Minerva” here) is significantly deceiving people on some key matters, and using the holes in their knowledge to her advantage. At this point in the story the same thing happens to her. We see that her own perception is also incomplete.

So – what's the thing she's missing?

I fell upon Maiden/Mother/Crone as a structure to create a relationship between Ananke/Persephone/Minerva. What action would Ananke buy?

It has to be archetypal and mythic. Cheaty postmodernism doesn't work. Myth is brutal and basic and ugly and wrong.

So – if the Mother archetype has a child, Ananke's doomed forever. It breaks the little eternal circle and Ananke thinks herself trapped in that sensory void forever.

There's nothing in the above specifically and individually which worries me too much. It's how they intersect with the rest of the plot, and how we can chart a line between them all without saying anything we don't want to say, or without causing undue emotional distress in a way we're uncomfortable with.

We end up with our solution, which is merely our best solution, which means it's far from perfect. We do as much as we can, and try and touch on stuff as gently as we can to avoid any fair misreading of the story. Even so, there's resonances in there I dislike.

There's a sentence that is said all the time in writing room situations: “This is the bad version.” It's said when people are brainstorming, and asking the audience to know this isn't good, but they are good enough writers to make it better – it's just a structure of the sort of things that the narrative could delineate.

It's easy to imagine The Bad Version of this plot. Laura finding out she has to have a kid to save the world! Baal and Baphomet fighting over who's the father! An issue cliffhanger where you think Laura's own choice has doomed the world! I shudder. Like, someone with a different aesthetic to me would have done all of the above.

Instead, what we try to do is what we have to do to make the story work, and do it in the safest way possible. It's the guiding aesthetic of most of this issue, in terms of separating the two key threads – namely not confusing Laura's choice to have an abortion and Laura's choice to reject godhood.

But still – I spent four years trying to think of something that Ananke would buy, based on our implicit story, which wasn't this, and failed. I'd rather not have gone this way. I'm happy with the issue, but it was a heartbreaking amount of work as I take all of this intensely seriously.

So, to return to the opening, the problem with being as structured as WicDiv is means that you are tied to decisions you made years ago, without which the story simply breaks.

DIE (aka Project Spangly New Thing) rejects this kind of plotting. It's just as messy emotionally as WicDiv (hell, even more so) but leaves the characters a lot more narrative freedom. I'd have done it anyway (because I hate to repeat myself) but the experience on arcs like this certainly feeds into it.

Anyway – I'll be talking some specifics in this as we go through, as I suspect it may be useful for people thinking about the impact of choices.

Jamie's Cover: Ananke in her cavewoman chic. That means 2 “persephone”, 2 “minerva” and 2 “Ananke” covers for this arc. The symmetry seems fun.

Phil Jimenez's Cover: I first saw Phil's work in his pop-thrill issues of The Invisibles, an obviously influential work on yours truly. We worked together on Angela: Asgard's Assassin together, which was a thrill, and this glam-metal take on her. He's also very lovely. As such, Minerva in full-on catwalk mode is a great take. I love these kind of maximalist high-thrill ones. And LIZ's ‘When I rule the world’ has just come on my WicDiv shuffle at this point, which seems appropriate for Minerva stomping down a lightning-catwalk. Also, Dee Cunniffe (who has flatted nearly all of WicDiv) provides colours. Nice work, Dee.

Page 1-2

Black spaces. Like the opening of the arc – C's idea, I believe. Also, ensuring we get our page turns right. We dropped the recap for once. Normally we'd drop it in the mid-point of the issue instead of the first interstitial, but it would have broken the space.

Obviously mirroring the start of this arc.

The first obvious bit of delineation: this is ten days after the end of last issue. Laura stopped being Persephone 10 days ago. As such, anything that happens now is not connected to that.

The biggest reading we wanted to avoid: “Laura's abortion is the ritual by which she rejects and escapes the Persephone-Mother archetype”. Especially if people, either pro or anti choice, could make an argument we're saying we're saying the act is human sacrifice – a reading which seems especially possible in a story that already has human sacrifice in it.

Page 3-4-5-6

Reestablishing what folks have been up to in the gap – in short, bits and pieces, bits of information the characters should exchange, etc.

The Cass/Woden dialogue is stuff I'd have liked to get into issue 33, but was cut due to space and focus. It was Mimir's scene, and as he's been silent for the whole book, he gets to speak. The “He stole my life/I stole his” was all that was required. This is detail. Interesting detail, but detail. And, yes, loaded.

There's a lot of “starting other stuff” in this sequence – clearly the “ritual” is going to be important next arc.

I love what Jamie is doing quietly with Mimir and the boxes at the back of the room on page 4. Like, I wonder what's in each of those boxes, right? There's some horrible pure objectification here. Like, Pokémon. Got to catch them all.

You can tell that Woden is more chill with Minerva, right?

It was originally written with Minerva noting that mind-controlled-sex-is-rape at the end of page 4. That felt frankly aggressive, as if we were using it as a punchline. Instead, we soften it, and move it mid-panel, which changes the feeling around it, hopefully.

On page 6, I really like the “Hmm. You're learning.” It still makes me laugh.

Making the gun's controls REALLY VISUALLY OBVIOUS is not exactly subtle, but 100% needed to make sure the scene make sense.

Page 7-8-9

With a month gap between issues, it's possible that the reader may not have noticed that we've changed the issue structure from the rest of this arc. It's not “past stuff then present stuff” like the others. It's at least one reason why we didn't give a preview – that and that the first pages of the issue are entirely non-characteristic in terms of where the issue goes.

Anyway – first page is a pure repeat from issue 34, so a free page. This issue is a little longer than normal, due to normal cheats. It's actually 20 new pages long... plus one new panel.

Page 8 is very peak Jamie, plus Matt, for a certain mode. I never get bored of seeing what they do with blood together. Ananke's expression in panel 4 is just particularly well chosen. This isn't how Minerva feels last issue – that's after thousands of years of dwelling on it. This is first exposure. You don't go straight to AGRGRHRHRHRHH.

And back to the still angle on the third panel. Like, the static nature of these seems important in terms of mood.

I really hope Ananke isn't licking that knife.

Page 10

I spent the best part of a day trying to work out what to name this interstitial, after naming it a few things previously. That we end up with a very limited Bowie nod says everything. Anything else seemed to create resonances we were trying to avoid. Once more, the aim is to separate the two decisions from Laura as much as possible.

Page 11

I know drawing London kills Jamie, but I'll miss seeing stuff like this monthly when it's gone.

We don't know Laura's walked out of a clinic for a few pages, but it was important to just give her space here.

Researching locations in London, in terms of placing the events, the timing, what would be available, and Laura's condition after an abortion and trying to find a way to be sensitive to all of that as a writer. Ideally, I was looking for an option around Highbury & Islington, as I always prefer to reuse settings. In practise, this was best.

Page 12

I basically described Beth's crew as Valkyrie-plusses. As in, the mini-bosses in a videogame. Elite models for a basic troop type.

Toni pushes to the front, as he's always been the most talkative of the Other Two. Writing this I realised who he is here – he's basically “Imagine Marvel Boy, if Marvel Boy was a total idiotic dipshit.”

(Instead of the “mostly idiotic dipshit” he was in YA. Love you, Noh-Varr! KISSY FACE.)

I believe Jamie laughed at this a fair bit.

Page 13-14

I considered various captions for Laura here, but no matter what they did, they blurred the line between her abortion and her abandoned godhood. As such, the relative silence was considered more effective.

13-14-15-16

A lot is packed into this space. In an ideal world, I'd like another page for it, to extend Beth's choice to shoot or not, but it's all there.

Key delineations here: obvious restatement of the 10 days since she's been a god, to ensure it's clear. “Panel 3”; Beth never knowing (nor caring) where Laura has just been; Robin actually being human; Laura's privacy being respected; the “I've got more imminent problems” to separate her being shot from this; most importantly, Laura never knowing that this decision was important to Minerva, and never letting Minerva's mistaken beliefs impact her decision. Laura' abortion is her choice and doesn't need a bunch of mythic stuff attached to it for her.

The “shame” line resonates with another, more optimistic, line on the first page of Young Avengers. This speaks to the books, and the choices and the attached psychology.

Page 17

Oddly, the “no cameras in the bathroom” information we've set up allows this scene. Minerva isn't someone who would vocalise much if someone could have hear. You can imagine her looking in each booth to see if someone's around. I did consider moving to captions for a page, but Minerva getting captions for this one event seemed aesthetically off.

Page 18

Self-evident interstitial, and so long a bit of text I can hear designers wincing.

Page 19-20

Earliest scene so far in WicDiv. I did consider having it set after the murder, with the grandson coming back to hear her last words, but the “alive-dead-alive-dead-alive-dead” was getting a bit silly. A quietly magical breakfast conversation seemed the way to go.

I think the bleakest and darkly funniest thing in the issue is the “Eventually, we'll learn. It may take a thousand years, but someone will figure it out.” Oh, you total optimist, you.

I do like the mood of the colouring for this.

Okay – the key structural bit for safety-proofing this plot? The absolute minimisation of the gap between discovering the fourth rule, discovering Laura has had an abortion and then discovering that the fourth rule is just a lie. The longer it hangs, the more it is letting people live with an idea we find reprehensible. The thing I knew when starting this arc is all of this had to happen inside the same issue – the problem there being, that it also had to be foreshadowed enough to not come out of nowhere. And if you foreshadow too heavily, it's as same as saying “this is where it's going”.

Anyway – that wrapped up, we move towards the end...

Page 21-22-23-24-25

The continuation of last issue's end. Laura and her captions.

Some perfect McKelvie expressions, and some key beats. Like, this also adds shade to last issue – I forget if I mentioned that one of the key beats of the series (Laura rejecting her godhood) being dramatised by her swapping a SIM card seems absolutely key to where we are.

Two key expressions – the glance to camera with “I'm not a god” and “So what? So do you.” I could marry Jamie for these.

Matt working the blacks and the ochres here is fascinating.

Thought experiment: originally the layout on page 21 had two captions in panel 3 and two in panel 4. I moved the first from panel 4 to panel 3. Why? A single caption always has more weight in a given space. Having two in each was effectively giving no extra weight to any individual caption. Instead, three in one makes that the conversational beat and the one over the spiral-staircase means the latter just hangs there.

(In short: less dialogue/caption in any space makes the line more important. SPACE=MEANING is what I've been saying all along, usually with panel size. As in, “bigger panels read as more important.” But the same sort of thinking applies to lettering in terms of the space it is allowed to “control.”)

End of page 21 – a final restating of the two events being separate. Laura choosing to have an abortion is something she decided when starting to put her life back together. It's not a cause of her stopping being a god – if anything, it's something that's resulted from her new state of mind.

Lots in terms of mode in 22, but I love how Jamie has handled the nudity in the second panel. As in, she's a girl changing for bed, but she's never presented as something to be objectified, to looked at. Laura is always someone we're meant to be. We are meant to inhabit her, and her us.

The panel at the start of 23 is the extra panel we squeezed in. One panel for this amount of extra material, leading to the better reveal seemed a good choice.

Did I mention I lost a line I really liked last issue? The “At long last, I know what I'm not” was originally “I know what I am/and I know what I'm not.” Which is pretty and elegant, but also confusing with this ending – the “what I am” is “not a god” and what I'm not” is “a god”. Prettiness only goes so far, especially as it's not as if Laura's going to stop and explain that.

Lots of key bits of dialogue in these pages, obviously. “I distrust anyone who tells me who I am. Especially if I agree” and all that.

Obviously in storytelling choices, this is reprising, in an inverted way, the end of The Faust Act. Instead of a flash of light, fading into darkness, darkness emerging from light. Also, really strong choice of expression in that final panel.

26

Referencing ‘Dancing In the Dark’. Springsteen's is obviously great, but I'm thinking of the Downtown Boys' cover which is much closer to where WicDiv is coming from.

I choke up at all this scene. Been a long way to get here, Laura. Onwards.

The trade collection for Mothering Invention is out in October. We have two Specials before next arc, WicDiv: 1373 (out at the end of September) and WicDiv: The Funnies (out in November.)

We're then back in December, where we begin our final arc.

It's called – “Okay”. Including the quotation marks. Yes, we're going out on another Bowie reference.

Thanks for reading.

[12miraenie]

To You

🎃Paring: Minseok x Reader

🎃Genre: Fluff, Angel AU

🎃Word Count: 2.5k 

🎃Summary: The good-looking regular at the cafe you worked at is not who he seems on the outside. 

A/N: Haloween night with an Angel Minseok. This is for anon 🎃

🎃 Link to Masterlist  

Minseok is a smart man. He makes good judgments, organizes his work well, and helps his department rank first in almost everything. He’s kind to his fellow peers, even kinder to newbies, plus absolutely respectful to his boss and the boss of his boss. In Minseok’s 235-year history record of being on this job, he has never made one single mistake. Maybe that’s why Junmyeon sent him to do something only a selected few are qualified to do, to be a guardian angel of a chosen human.

After as short as a week of observation, Minseok decided to go down from heaven with a stomach full of confidence for “field observations.” He found the human world far more interesting, and his curiosity on you urged him to hang around for a while. The twist in the story though, came within as little as a month. He was right about the human world is far more interesting, but somehow Minseok failed to see the reverse side of it. He got scammed twice on the same day and lost the new phone he got twenty minutes after he bought it. Now, why didn’t he just use his powers and make every problem go away?

But Minseok wouldn't do that. He didn’t allow his confidence and pride to be contradicted by himself. Naive, gullible, stupid. Those are not the words in his dictionary.

You didn’t take much notice when the good-looking guy with the fluffiest light brown hair and cutest eyes came to the cafe you worked at first, but after two weeks, when you had memorized the punctuality of his 3:30 pm arrival and the same old order of a pour over with a chocolate almond croissant, somehow he became something you looked forward to in your long shifts. His looks are definitely a plus, and the casual fashion he manages to pull off every day is a sight to sore eyes, but what strikes you most is the smile he gives you every day after order and the small “thank you“ in the warmest tone ever followed by a cute blink of his eyes when you have his order.

Sure, everything remained the same for the first few weeks. You were glad to see him every day, but you knew the little crush on him you had been growing was useless, and you had bigger things to worry about than gaining his attention. Minseok knew it as well, he saw through the tiredness and frustration behind your smiles and kind words the first day. Why would you be assigned to a guardian angel at the first place anyway?

You were troubled.

Indeed, you had to balance between going to uni, working, and taking care of your grandparents in the hospital. You parents send checks every month, but they were already too burdened with your tuition and medical bills. You weren’t born into an extremely well-off family. Naturally, you started to do part-time works since high school to help your parents. It’s not like you blame your parents for this, how could you when they have to work their ass off every day? But as a teenager, sometimes you just wished your life is a bit easier. You should have more time for school work, maybe even sometimes to go out with your friends or be able to buy things you want once in a while.

It was after a month and a half that Minseok started a conversation with you. He had seen too much. Minseok simply couldn’t understand why you had to stick up with your moody boss and stay for extra time after your shift to clean up for her without getting paid. You already don’t get paid enough for your work.   He knew his boundaries well, as a guardian angel, he cannot directly interfere with your life. But there’s no harm in having a few conversations. Plus you have no idea who he is.  Of course, Minseok missed the only thing that makes humans human. They are a complex kind of creature.

Minseok approached you with an attitude of a kind regular customer who noticed your intense workload and the apparent look of tiredness in between breaks. He deliberately chose a seat close to the back, knowing that you had to pass him to get to the break room. He called you out as you passed him with an empty tray in your hand.

“Hey, Y/N.“

You turned around to face him, confusion evident on your face. Did someone just call your name? Or was it the lack of sleep giving you auditory hallucinations?

Your furrowed eyebrows soon straightened out as your eyes focused on the new regular who still had a light brown color for his hair giving you a small wave. You pointed a finger at yourself and mouthed a silent question, "Me?"

You made way to him and stopped just close enough to notice the smallest details on his denim jacket and the brand logo on the t-shirt underneath.

“Is it ok if I talk to you? I just have been visiting this cafe every day recently, I’m sure you know, and I just wanna get to know you?” Minseok closed the book in his hand and smiled to you warmly.

A smile naturally formed at your lips as an agreement came out of your mouth, “Sure, it’s always nice to get to know a familiar face.”

You had planned to spend your 25-minute break napping. Last night was a heck full of researching and writing about some Italian painter who you really don’t care about and for a class that’s not even helpful to your major. But the man in front of you was just too hard to resist. Maybe the looks and the smile helped, but you have actually been curious about him for a long time, and the crush you have for him that only grew bigger by each day also prompted you to put down the tray and sat down in the opposite chair.

“Do you want to order anything? Coffee, food? The pastries here are amazing, but I’m sure you know all of that. I’ll treat you, you know, as a new friend."

Oh god, you might actually fall in love.

                                       “Bye, Minseok!” After a final twist of the key, you heard a click and pushed the key out. Turning around, you saw Minseok stuffing his hands into his jacket. Frosted breath came out of his mouth with every movement of his lungs, his slightly reddened cheek added a sense of cuteness to his normally calm appearance. You can’t help but giggle, “Don’t like the winter?”

“I just prefer to be indoors and drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows and have a cheesy Christmas movie on TV right now.“ Minseok scratched the back of his head with a small hint of embarrassment behind his eyes.

“Wow,” You gave him a teasing smile, “I never took you as a cheesy man.“

Minseok laughed the kind of laugh that would melt the largest iceberg on earth in 10 seconds. It was hearty, it made his eyes glimmer with something shinier and it sounded absolutely angelic. The Christmas streetlights and neon signs behind him suddenly dimmed, pushing Minseok to the very center of your attention. No matter when and where, Minseok always managed to pull off as the brightest presence in the room to you. It’s like an unknown pull, an unknown indication that directs you to him everytime he’s near.

You’ve never become close with a person this fast, but Minseok managed to creep to the top of your list and heard about your secret recipe for making fluffy red velvet cakes and the time you embarrassed yourself in front of the whole class with a ripped dress in middle school. Him waiting for you to end your shift and walk you home has become a wordless habit between you two, and sometimes you just wondered how lucky you must be to have someone like him as a friend. So even though you secretly hoped that you could be more, you never tried to do anything, because you were afraid of being turned down and losing a good friend.

“Come on, I’ll walk you home.” This is the 136th time he’s said the same words to you, but you still manage to get all flushed and jumpy with his remark. You knew you were in it deep when the occasional flicker of his eyes to you and brushes of his hand against yours would spike your heartbeat and cause your hands to tremble involuntarily every single time. Sometimes you wished Minseok could see the hints, the light blush on your face or the slight difference of your voice whenever you talk to him.

The little conversation between you two had a nice flow as always. Minseok stopped at the street in front of your apartment complex and motioned to the building. “Go, I’ll wait until your light is on.”

“You are too sweet. People would think I’m taking advantages of you.” You pulled out your phone from the back pocket of your jeans and put in it your bag instead.

“Nah, I’m just your angel.” Minseok turned sideways and pushed the crossroad button for you.

He definitely loves saying that to you, even obsessed. Every time you thank him for doing something, Minseok always says something like he’s your angel and only yours to help. You never understood why he would choose such an overused-not to say cheesy line.

The light turned green. You gave him a small wave accompanied by a smile, “Bye, Minseok.”

Just when you had walked through half of the section, your phone rang. Fumbling with the zipper of your bag, you took it out and pressed down the answer button. It was one of your friends from university. You were in the middle of asking what’s up when someone called out

“Watch out!”

Your head snapped back to the sound of someone warning you before your eyes got blinded by strong lights. In that millisecond, you realized that you were in the middle of the crossroad about to get hit by an oncoming car. Your eyes widened as your reflex started to kick in, but the time was too short for you to make a decision.

You squeezed your eyes shut and thought you were going to die, but instead of feeling a car being rammed into your body, you felt a hand then two strong arms around your upper torso. Everything was quiet, you couldn’t hear the car honk or the sliding of the gravel as you awaited the final moment. Opening your eyes in disbelief and puzzlement, you barely caught a glimpse of a camel colored sweater being twirled around and pulled aside. What was more astonishing and caught your eyes the instant was feathers of the most pristine whiteness you’ve ever seen. They were covered on what you would call wings which extend into the far end of your sight.

At that very moment, you thought you were in heaven.

The world came back again. Suddenly descended was the screeching and honking of the car, the heavy breathing of yourself and the sound of your own gasp. You blinked twice just to make sure you were not hallucinating, but instead of the crossroad, you were standing at the sidewalk, safe, and in someone’s arms. Instinctively you looked up, and a familiar pair of brown eyes came into view.

“Min…Minseok?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, and it was hard to even push the syllables out of your mouth. You tried to talk again, but the only thing your body did was opening and closing your mouth repeatedly.

“Shhh, don’t talk. Just…let me help you.” His voice was light as a whisper as he effortlessly lifted you up bridal style.  Your arms went around his neck automatically, even though they were still weak and clammy with cold sweat. Ignoring the looks of passerbys, Minseok carried you into your building and up the stairs.

You fished for the keycard and unlocked the door, Minseok kicked to open it wider. Although you were shocked and exhausted after the incident, you were still nervous when he stepped in. After all, it was the first time you ever let any guy other than your father in there. You let out a sigh of relief remembering that you cleaned up yesterday.

Sitting down on a chair by the kitchen counter, you watched Minseok rolled up his sleeves and started filling the pot with water. No word was exchanged when Minseok prepared two cups of tea.

Maybe he felt your gaze on his back, when he sat down Minseok pushed one mug in front of you and crossed his fingers on the table.  

“You are telling the truth, aren’t you?“ Your voice came out surprisingly steady, and confusion clouded his face.  

“You always say that you are my angel. It is true, right? You are actually an angel. I saw your wings.”

A sigh left his mouth as Minseok pushed back the hair that fell in front of his forehead.  

“Yes.”

You nodded and took the mug with numb fingers. Holding it with both hands, you didn’t drink and only used it to feel the warmth. You were more than surprised yourself that there was any freaking out, screaming or crying going on, you took everything in like it was a news article.

You took a deep breath and looked directly into his eyes, “Why? Why did you save me?”

Minseok unlinked his hands from each other and leaned back in his chair. He fidgeted before finally looking at you with something unreadable swirling in his eyes, “I’m not supposed to, but Y/N…I think I’m in love with you.”

[dat-town]

starboy

Characters: Inseong & you

Setting: star au, astronaut au

Genre: sci-fi I guess and soft angst (if that’s a thing?)

Words: 4.6k

Summary:  He was made of stardust, soft lines and shy smiles. He held the warmth of the sun, the knowledge of the moon, the sparkle of the stars and he was ready to give it all to you.

Warnings: mentions of minor character death and ptsd

This story is a part of the Sensuous collab for SF9′s anniversary hosted by @restlessmaknae​. I’m so excited to share this with you all. It’s pretty different from what I usually write but I really liked this concept! And please give love to the other collab parts, too ♥

He used to be a collapsing star; shining beautifully in the vast darkness longer than human recollection. But the thing about everything that burns bright is that eventually they all burn out. He spent millions of years, maybe eons (he’d long lost counting) alone being the guiding light, the light that was slowly dying, inevitably fading. Just as the night is the darkest before dawn, he was the brightest before the explosion scattered the glitter pearls all over the canvas of the constellation-filled sky.

Kim Inseong brought a piece with him to Earth.

“What’s your name?” you ask of him, eyes trained on his relaxed form sitting on the edge of the clean, white hospital bed.

“I don’t know,” he tells you in a quiet, soothing voice. There’s awe between the vowels and a hint of the disappointment after a fruitless pursuit. He furrows his brows, pouty lips turning down like he doesn’t even know what he’s searching for. A name? What an intriguing phenomena.

You hum lightly and then jot down something in your notebook. He stares at the way you move your hand, his gaze follows the quick twists and turns of your wrist.

“How old are you?” you ask again, voice even and eyes gentle. You glance at the name tag by the bed, Kim Inseong, and it reminds you of the night when he was brought in, bruised, badly injured, barely breathing and the rank Mission Specialist on his uniform clearly visible.

“Time, therefore age too, is a manmade concept,” he replies in the same fashion, calm and unbothered. His eyes are now fixed on something afar just above your shoulder and you’re ready to ask the next question on the list when out of the blue you catch his stare directly on you. He looks just as curious as you are. “How old is the universe?”

The question throws you off a bit and you can’t provide more than a diplomatic answer.

“We don’t know for sure.”

Your patient nods slightly, licks his chapped lips and looks away again.

“Then I don’t know for sure either.”

Amnesia, you write down and tell him that it’s okay.

You ask him bits of questions everyday hoping that his memories would resurface from under the fog of haziness but in the end you tell him because he has every right to know about NASA, the mission, the accident…

“You almost didn’t make it back.” The others didn’t.

Maybe it’s for the better to not remember.

It has been two weeks since the sole survivor of the Venus Team woke up from coma and yet, he didn’t have any other visitor than higher-ups from his workplace. At first, you think it’s because the spaceship crashed into land halfway across the Earth where it was supposed to but even later nobody came, nobody called searching for him.

“Do you remember anyone we should call? Relatives? Friends? A girlfriend?”

“I miss the moon,” he replies and your heart aches for him, so you ask around. It turns out he’s a single child, his parents have passed away when he was young and even his emergency contact is his boss.

Only sensation-hungry reporters come all the way to the hospital asking for an exclusive interview about the failure of NASA's Venus Program. Inseong kindly declines them all. The world demands an explanation, grieving families need somebody to blame but there’s nothing more to tell: accidents happen, both humans and stars keep on falling and dying.

According to Inseong’s file in the medical database, he was born in South Korea, then moved abroad for his NASA training. You are talking with him in English even though you saw him reading a local newspaper like it’s nothing and you overheard him talking with another patient in French. He fascinates you with all his being, there’s just something ethereal about him. He seems out of place like he doesn’t entirely belong here at all and yet, he’s flesh and bones, human just like you. There’s nothing to prove otherwise. You can’t quite place it but there’s just something about him that draws you in.

He’s strangely calm for someone who has been through as much as him. He still has bruises because of the huge impact of the landing but he appears to be physically fine at first glance. You can only see the purple spots on his ribs when you accidentally catch a glimpse of him changing from one hospital wear to another. He doesn’t seem bashful about it at all but you guess it must be because he lived in a relatively small place with four other people for a long time. Or there’s that scar on his cheek barely noticeable but it didn’t heal perfectly, so it will always be a reminder of what had happened to him. But other than that, the doctors can be relieved.

However, the psychologist who was assigned to him gets worried. He says it’s not normal to be so accepting of one’s fate. That people always rebel, always question why this happened to them or suffer from the survivors’ guilt but Inseong is okay. And it should be great news but it’s still weird and Doctor Lee is concerned that the astronaut keeps it all pent up, keeps it all to himself, just like his buried memories of his past lives. What if someday something will trigger this barrier in his mind and everything will come back with full force bringing him to a mental breakdown? It breaks your heart a little.

“Aren’t you curious how you were… you know before?” you ask tentatively while sharing a dessert from your favourite place over his hospital bed. You know you shouldn’t stay but you could use a five minutes break and who are you  to say no when he pleads so nicely to help him with the cake. You know hospital food isn’t the greatest, so from time to time you bring him something from outside. He devours each one like he has never eaten anything like that before.

“That wasn’t me,” Inseong shakes his head dismissingly and he’s partly right. He is him but he’s also not, because how could he be the Kim Inseong everybody talks about if he doesn’t remember any of it? It renders you speechless, not knowing what to say but then, the young man lift his gaze to your face and there’s curiosity dripping from his gentle voice. “But you can tell me about it. You can tell me about Kim Inseong who wished to see the stars up-close and die like one.”

Your throat closes up at the implication of a part of him dying out there but maybe he’s right. It’s a miracle, everyone keeps saying, that he survived.

“I didn’t know you… him before,” you correct yourself respecting his decision of being considered his own being and clearing your throat, you sit down on the edge of his bed. “But I can tell you what I know.”

It clinks as he puts down his fork on the plate and focuses all his attention on you.

“He was born in Korea and he loved the sea. He has always been interested in astrology and after he saw the movie Apollo-13, he decided he wanted to go up into space. The NASA representative told me he even wrote it into his CV.” A small smile tugs on your lips as you remember the tall, stern man telling you this while you were waiting to see whether Inseong will be able to make it after his first surgery. He needed two more but he made it and later, he woke up from coma, too. He’s a fighter. “He was fresh out of high school when he moved to the United States to learn engineering specified in spacecrafts. He was one of the bests in his NASA training, so he was chosen to join the Venus Mission as a flight engineer. He was twenty-one, the youngest of the crew when they left three years ago.”

You have never been really interested in the NASA’s work but it was a worldwide phenomenon to send men to Venus. Everybody knew about it, everybody watched the launching of the rocket.

“What happened then?”

“It was a test to see if life is possible on Venus. It was supposed to be a year long mission plus the journey there and back and according to the NASA, it went fine. However, when they were supposed to come back, something went wrong. Rumours are about miscalculated supplies, others say asteroids, but what matters is that they couldn’t leave, so a rescue team was formed and everything seemed fine once they reunited. Then about half a year ago, we lost all communication with the team. There are some speculations that there was a supernova relatively close by and the waves of it caused the turbulence that damaged the spacecraft and sent it flying, at least towards Earth luckily. The others, they either died during that collision or the crash when you arrived.”

Even NASA couldn’t believe it when they saw the approaching nose-diving spaceship in the atmosphere of Earth. They evacuated the area of the landing place just in time and tried to make sure of the safe landing by alerting the closeby authorities like your hospital of the event. But nothing could prepare anyone seeing the burning metal monster rip through your sky.

“They died because of me,” Inseong whispers astonished just like a researcher when he finds the evidence of a hypothesis he has been looking all his career. It’s terrifying to see him jump into such conclusions based on his memories’ broken fragments.

“No, they didn’t,” you rush to protest but he doesn’t believe you. You can see it in his dark eyes, the pitchless holes leading to another sad galaxy. There’s grief and regret there beside his usual calmness. Yet, he turns towards you with a forgiving smile.

“You don’t know that.”

He’s right. You really don’t, you weren’t out there, you can’t be sure what happened. Nobody can. Still, from what you’ve learnt about Inseong, you know he wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt others.

“It wasn’t your fault,” you say and that you can be sure of. How could something so huge like this be anyone’s fault?

Inseong doesn’t say anything.

It’s been weeks and it’s certainly not the first time that when you walk past his room at night, on your way out of the hospital, you see Inseong standing by his window, staring out to the sky. You knock on the wood of the doorframe lightly to avoid startling him with your presence.

“Why are you still awake?”

The patient turns toward you slowly.

“I cannot sleep. Not at night,” he says in a quiet voice and you know he keeps his curtains shut even during daytime but his eyes are not accustomed to artificial lights either. He’s too used to dark with only the stars glimmering.

Insomnia. You’ve added it to his files.

“What are you still doing here, Miss?” he asks softly, curious even with a crooked brow.

“Extra hours,” you shrug because it’s nothing new, the bags under your eyes are only hidden by a good brand of a concealer. Normally, you’d flash him a smile and continue your walk down the hallway to get home, shower and sleep as soon as possible but there’s something keeping you there. Maybe it’s the slump in his shoulders or the look on his face that makes you ask: “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” he nods curtly and smiles a bit before looking back at the stars. It’s obvious he’s drawn to them like a moth to flames.

“Do you miss it?” you inquire because you cannot even fathom how could it feel to be back to Earth, to get used to its gravity again, to see and feel things he doesn’t even remember. All he can remember is the spaceship and the universe and he has absolutely no recollection of his life before here on Earth. It might be the trauma or the fact that the Venus Mission went on for three years. A lot of time for a failed project.

So all he knows is what it's like out there. You can only compare it to the homesickness engraved deep into your bones when you moved out from your parents’ place for university years ago. It’s not an easy process. And Inseong, sometimes you catch yourself thinking that maybe he really belongs out there.

“Every day,” he sighs and the moon reflects his sadness in a magical glory.

“How is it out there?” you inquire, not able to hold back your curiosity. How can a man be so enamoured by whatever it is like out there to disassociate the here and the present so often?

“Cold. Lonely,” he tells you simply and honest as always. You don't correct him about his team members who were there with him. By now you know it's not what he means. “But beautiful.”

It must have been truly gorgeous if he’s still yearning to go back.

“Do you maybe want to get out of here?” you ask already giddy and ready to go. You know you shouldn’t. It’s breaking the protocol but Inseong has been stable for quite some time and he hasn’t been out of the hospital. Perhaps, he should. But Inseong looks at you with an unreadable expression like he doesn’t know what to make of your suggestion. Then slowly, so slowly you’re ready to take it all back, he nods.

“Let’s go,” he stands up in his wrinkled hospital clothes.

“Uhm, I will get you some change of clothes,” you offer a bit baffled because you didn’t expect him to actually agree right away.

You take a pile of warm, casual clothes from the dressing room for nurses and go back to Inseong’s room to give them to him. He doesn’t question the lack of colours, white all over. He decides on sweatpants and a t-shirt with the hospital’s logo.

It’s a short ride, a quiet one. Inseong mostly stares out of the window, watching the scenery ride by beside us. It’s not uncomfortable or awkward though, just nice. When you arrive, the receptionist welcomes you and ‘your friend’ zealously but not as much as Inseong is based on the brightness of his eyes when he realizes where you brought him. The observatory just outside of the town is one of your favourite places to go if you need a peace of mind. So you lead him to your usual place in the projection room where the whole ceiling is covered by the endless beauty of the universe.

“Do you like it?” you turn to him who was trapped in a body of a boy who had to grow up too fast.

“It’s– it’s like home. Thank you,” he mumbles, marvelling at the close to realistic sky above. Words can’t express the look of gratitude in his eyes and it truly makes you the happiest person on Earth, to be able to make him smile. It’s the greatest wonder to have a positive impact on others’ lives.

You sit down there on wooden chairs just staring up enjoying the light breeze and the faint, calm music from the speakers. It’s the first time you’re sharing this experience with somebody, so it feels strangely intimate even though you don’t do anything more than sitting next to each other. At least for a while.

“Humans call that the Apus, the Bird of Paradise,” Inseong says out of the sudden, pointing to a bright constellation on the west. Humans, he says and you wonder what does he feel like then. An eternal soul stuck in a mortal body?

“How do you know so much?” you blurt out suddenly amazed by his knowledge he never shows off but is always there. It seems impossibly how well educated and all-knowing he is despite barely remembering anything including his own name.

“I learned it all. With time, I believe.” he answers carefully, not sure if he should but he does it anyway while watching your reaction closely.

“That takes a lot of time,” you hum searching for the stars reflecting in his eyes.

“Yeah,” he nods and you think maybe his soul has lived more than you can imagine. If that kind of thing is possible. You start to think a lot more is possible than you’d previously believed.

Inseong doesn’t act like he has any plans to leave the hospital. He seems quite at ease in his room. The hospital, however, might have been understanding until one point because of the consideration towards an international tragedy but they need the space and they kindly ask the man to leave. You witness it all, how he lets out the small oh sound when the realization flashes in his eyes. He nods politely and says he’ll be out by tomorrow.

You’re worried how he will integrate back into society but you try not to show it to him while you help him pack. He barely has anything with him. His boss sent him a pack of personal belongings from the States like ID card, passport, keys and clothes and NASA also arranged a flight for him back to the American continent. He hasn’t said anything but you could tell that Inseong was hesitant about it first, going back, and once he mentioned that he might go to Korea instead to find his roots and to figure out some stuff. It seems, however, that by now he has made up his mind and decided beside NASA to be closer to the stars in both metaphorical and literal sense.

You offer to take him to the airport because that’s your free day anyway and Inseong is sensible enough not to turn down your attempt to stay by him as long as possible. You have only known each other for a bit over a month and yet, you don’t feel ready to let go. Despite that you’d never stop him from doing something his heart desires. You wish him nothing but happiness.

“So that’s it, I guess,” you shrug with a forced smile when you reach the gates to the terminal, the very last point until you could walk with him.

“You, people, tend to stress too much over distances. It’s not like we won’t see each other anymore,” Inseong smiles down at you, the way he always does, moderate and soft but you can see sorry and slight panic in his eyes as he looks around in the crowd. “I’ll be only a flight away.”

A ten-hour-flight, yeah, but you have to admit that after his three-month-journey to and back from Venus, that’s probably nothing. Still, you can’t help but worry.

“Just take care, okay?”

Inseong’s fingers grazes against your cheek as he carefully brushes a lock of your dishevelled hair behind your ear.

“Don’t worry about me,” he says, voice so so soft like the best pillows you’ve ever had. It doesn’t put your heart at ease though. “I’m okay… it’s just that sometimes I realize how small I am. From there I could see everything and now it’s like something is ripped away from me.”

It reminds you of the night you asked him how it was out there. Maybe nothing could compare to that. Maybe you’ll never understand but still, you would like to be there for him. Not as a nurse but as a friend or whatever he needs.

“If you ever feel alone, call me,” you give him your professional card but you previously scribbled down your personal phone number on it.

“Thank you. For everything,” he takes it and you swear you see stars in his eyes even in the daylight.

Then it’s a bit awkward, the boarding announcement is made but while people are flooding around you, the two of you still stand there engraving each other’s features in your minds. Inseong has always been physically there but distant, never touch-starved even though he has spent so much time alone in his own opinion. You, on the other hand, crave to just touch him, to believe he’s real and there.

“Can I… hug you?” Uncertainty seeps into your voice as you fumble with your own clothes not sure what to do.

Inseong looks at you for the longest time but his eyes sparkle when he nods, stepping closer. You’re pretty sure he hasn’t been hugged since he’s come back on Earth. All the human touch he got was for medical check-ups, so you’re extra careful with your touches to not be too evasive. You nuzzle close to his chest, clasp your arms around his waist as you breath in the scent of his coconut shower gel.

When the last warning call resonates through the speakers, he steps backwards and you fold your arms in front of you. He doesn’t remind you that you both see the same stars at night, you don’t mention you’ll think of him everytime you catch a glimpse of the Apus constellation. You just don’t speak, that fond look you share says it all.

And then he’s gone. Just like that. He came unexpected like lighting and now he has left nothing but a burning spot behind. (In your heart.)

Time passes weirdly when you miss someone.

It slows done in the most mundane ways, when you’re shopping, walking home from the hospital after a night shift or when you’re waiting for his call. But it rushes by so fast when you finally hear his voice, when you read his letters because that’s what he writes, the old-fashioned letters instead of texts and you find it endearing. You like to go back to the observatory and read his letters there, under the fake stars, imagining his voice as he tells you about everything.

NASA made me go through mental and physical check-up. They looked at me sadly. I guess I’ve already known then what it meant. They won’t take me back as an astronaut because they think I have post traumatic stress and don’t want to risk a breakdown. They said they could get me an office job but… that’s not my field. I need to think on what direction my life should go from now. What am I good for if I can’t go back there?

I wish I was th I hope you’re happy. You deserve it. Don’t forget that the stars are looking out for all of us.

P.S. They are pretty from here, too.

That’s his last letter about two weeks ago. You haven’t heard from  him since then except one rushed phone call. After he quitted his job, he’s busy with moving out of the place NASA provided him. He seemed excited about it, to start anew while you still feel static, frozen in one place. It feels like how you imagined lost-distance relationships would be except it’s not a relationship and friends shouldn't feel the way you do and you know that. You would never burden him with your feelings until you’re sure he’s ready. Especially since he hasn’t made many other friends or acquaintances at all since he came back. It might not be the best conversation starter to drop the bomb of him being amnestic and being the sole survivor of a failed NASA project. You just hope he’ll find someone who understands him.

“Hey, you’re coming here more often than ever before,” the receptionist of the observatory greets you with a wide smile, pointing out the obvious. You’re lucky that the stargazing hall is for free or else, you’d be broken because of all the times you’ve spent here during the last months.

“Oh well, I guess I fell in love with the stars,” you shrug, hiding a shy smile, clenching Inseong’s brand new letter close to your chest.

“Well, then lucky for you, boss just hired someone who seems to know everything about the universe. I’m certain he’d be delighted to tell you all about it,” the guy winks at you and you let out a low chuckle.

“That sounds nice but I’ll be fine on my own for now, thank you,” you excuse yourself because you need time and space to read the letter in peace. You walk to your usual place, the seats you took back then together with Inseong. You take a deep breath, soaking in the soothing effect of the place before folding out the paper in your hand. On contrary to any of his earlier letters, this one is rather short. Only one sentence written in neat handwriting in the middle of it and you might be hallucinating but if you close your eyes, you almost here him reciting it from right beside you:

“Did you know that stars always find their way home?”

You hum, wondering what it could mean while slowly blinking your eyes open. Then maybe it’s just a sixth sense or a special feeling tugging at your heart but you look on your right and you can’t believe your eyes.

“Inseong,” you literally squeal standing up abruptly and look around to make sure there are no other surprises on the way. It seems like just another miracle on the row. “You knew I would come here?”

“The receptionist might have said something,” he shrugs and even the wrinkles around his eyes are smiling. There’s so much warmth in him, in the pastel sweater he wears, the silver bracelet with a crescent moon on it and his crooked smile you love so much. It seems too good to be true. You might be dreaming and it gets even more surreal when Inseong is closing the space between you.

“I missed you,” he whisper-tells and your breath is caught in your throat. Both of you are covered by the reflection of the galaxy’s canvas about you and you literally feel like floating. There’s only Inseong’s soft hand touching your cheek keeping your grounded. “You’re the best part of being on Earth.”

You feel like you might cry, even your voice sounds wet with unshed tears.

“You… you came back? For good?”

“I don’t have anywhere else to be,” he answers but you can tell that’s not everything. But you’re too happy to ask him to go into details. After months of missing him, seeing him in flesh is too good already. You lean into his touch easily, fingers curling into the front of his shirt. “Did you know that stars are basically balls of burning gas held together by their own gravity?”

You shake your head no. You never thought much about stars before him. Before you saw them shining right in his dark orbs.

“You’re my gravity,” he says so simply as if he just stated a fact but it’s the most beautiful thing anybody has ever told you.

Without thinking, you stand on your tiptoes and kiss him. Gentle and chaste but with all the love you have. You can feel him smile into the touch of your lips and pulls you into his arms, keeping you there like you were something precious just like the night sky embraces Mother Earth. It feels like a galaxy spilling inside of you and filling you up with everything fond and soft and good.

How is it when a star falls in love?

It burns. Warm and bright. For a longer time than human recollection.

[yoi-fanficrecs]

Fanfic Writer’s Appreciation Day 2018!!!

I’m so thankful for all the fanfic writers in out there and especially the writer in the Yuri! on Ice Fandom. Here’s a list of some of the fics I’ve read this week & some of my favs all mixed together! (THIS IS BY NO MEANS A COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF ALL THE FICS I THINK ROCK) 

Don’t forget if you’re a fic reader to go and leave an extra comment on your fav stories or drop an ask in the author’s tumblr about how much you appreciate the work that they do! Some of the authors in the fandom are FANTASTIC and I can’t believe that they aren’t paid, professional writers!

Much Ado About Something by @eternalsunshine13 &  Skowronek 

AO3 Summary: By day, Victor Nikiforov is the head of European operations for LearX, a company on the forefront of private space travel. By night, he is makka-baby on Tumblr, a prominent figure in the small but passionate poodle fandom.

By day, Yuuri Katsuki runs F.O.O.L., a subsidiary of Katsuki Enterprises, whose stated goal is to bring LearX down one lawsuit after another. By night, he’s oodlesofpoodles, an active member of the poodle fandom and possibly makka-baby’s biggest fan.

By day, they duke it out in court. By night, they become friends—and maybe something more—as they fall for each other one Tumblr message at a time.

Or: a romantic comedy starring two idiots in love, the Katsuki family, the mothers Nikiforov, the husbands Chulanont-Giacometti, two doggos, six hamsters, one Yurio, and many, many schemes to get our favorite lovebirds together.

I devoured this in one sitting. They were so frustratingly adorable!!!! This fic is a great enemies to lovers filled with poodles, matchmaking Chris & Phichit, and a futuristic Tumblr app that is still the worst. :P 

In Regards to Dynamics by ICanSeeClearlyNow, Oxytreza 

AO3 Summary: In a world where betas ruled, alphas and omegas were treated as less than human. After centuries of prejudice, they rebelled, commandeered a colony ship and left Earth for the Proxima Centauri system, vowing to create a new world where all people, regardless of gender, would be treated equally.

200 years later, a reformed Earth approaches Proxima asking to reestablish contact and to reconcile their worlds. Victor Nikiforov, a popular and successful politician on Proxima, is chosen to lead the mission to Earth and accompany a team from Earth back to Proxima for a scientific exchange.

The team from Earth consists of ordinary people descended from omegas and alphas who chose to remain on Earth. Yuuri Katsuki, a researcher into transporter technology and completely ordinary and unremarkable Earthling (a PhD and excellent service record don't count - shush Phichit!) is both thrilled and terrified at the prospect of meeting the handsome ambassador who has taken the Earth by storm.

I’m a sucker for ABO fics. The history and world-building in this fic fascinated me and gave our boys some interesting backstories. 

Cherry Blossom Winter by Ars_Matron

AO3 Summary: The war was over, and they had lost. The invading army covered Japan in a show of complete dominance. All bowed before them in hopes of being spared. And Hasetsu was no exception.They couldn't fight, there were no more battles to win, yet they were bound and determined to keep their omegas safe. All Yuuri and the others had to do was keep low until the soldiers were gone. Blend in. Never be caught alone.Yuuri hadn't meant to catch the attention of the blue eyed alpha.Viktor wasn't going to let him slip away.

ABO FICS FOR THE WIN!!!! This fic is an ABO version of another one of Ars_Matron’s stories Snow in Spring - so if you like the summary but not the A/B/O aspect hit that story up! I think the A/B/O aspect really raises the stakes for this story. Just from reading the summary you think it’s going to be a Dark Viktor, but Ars writes his POV as well so we get his thought process too! This is a great conquering Alpha! Viktor and dancer Omega! Yuuri that you’ve got to stop and read it! 

Hide and Seek by senshoo

AO3 Summary: Thankfully, the walk only took a few moments and soon, Yuuri was juggling both the child and the key while he shouldered his way into the apartment, set the kid down on his secondhand couch, and then sighed, sinking to the floor.

One deep breath.

Maybe two.

And then, it hit him.Holy shit.Did he just kidnap a child?--

Or: The one where Yuuri accidentally becomes a father at twenty three. Oh, and there's still skating.

EKKKKKK!!!!! I love baby Yurio and this fic warms my cold dead heart! Not to mention this fic is HILARIOUS! I’ve literally laughed out loud reading multiple chapters from this fic much to my embarrassment during professional development workshops. It’s just a cute pinning fic with a cute little Yurio and a dash of angst but mostly humor. <3 <3 <3 

Plus: the writer is a consistent updater! 

Can I have some of that, Please? by TheLittleSeven  

AO3 Summary: If there's anything he learned during his mate's pregnancy, it was to never, EVER question a craving of a pregnant person. Ever. Unless he wanted to deal with a crying fit that resulted from him asking the omega why he wanted mango ice cream with siracha and peas topped on it. Pregnant people usually have weird cravings during their pregnancy. Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov is no exception.

I stumbled upon this little one shot over the summer and absolutely love it! The writer says this is their first fic and it’s so cute! You’ve probably read the story somewhere on the internet and it fits our sweet boys so much! 

Dearly beloved by Sophia96

AO3 Summary:  This is the story about unconditional love between true mates. When they are destined to be together, there will be nothing standing in their way. Not even language barriers or great distances. As long as they have each other, they will never need anything else.

I couldn’t make a fanfic writer’s appreciation post without including my main writing KWEEN @sophialala1 !!! All of their fics are amazing! Long, fluffy, plot twists, little angsty Viktuuir goodness! Also, they are a dedicated writer and right now going on over a week of daily updates! I’m so thankful they are writing for this fandom and cannot express my gratitude enough! 

Between Sixes  by D_Toska

AO3 Summary:  When Yuri Katsuki is hired as a caretaker for an elite competitive stable owned by Viktor Nikiforov, he knows he's in for trouble with his stunningly handsome new boss. When he makes a major mistake on his first day, he learns just how far Viktor is willing to go to ease his guilty conscience.

HOT HOT HOT!!!! This story is spicy, flaming, sexy, and OMG! I’m pretty sure I have a perpetual nosebleed the ENTIRE chapter. There’s also a lot about horses, which is very lengthy and detailed so I’m sure the writer knows what they’re talking about, lol (bc I know nothing about horses). But I love the chemistry between the dom Vitkor & sub Yuuri and i am on this rollercoaster for good. 

Learning Life & Love (Work) by BellaBear13

AO3 Summary: Yuuri Katsuki gets admitted to the hospital for his anxiety and Viktor Nikiforov becomes his therapist. They fall for each other and develop a prohibited relationship, while dealing with problems and situations along the way. Yuuri befriends another patient, Yuri Plisetsky, where they find friendship in one another and open up about difficulties they have with their mental health and relationships.Together they all learn the meaning of life and love.

I was hesitant to start this fic only because I thought the power balance between Viktor & Yuuri would be skewed bc of the therapist/patient bit. I WAS SO WRONG!!! This fic is beautiful and heart-wrenchingly angsty and you know, a little pinning. The writer takes so good pace with their budding relationship && how they approach Yuuris (&&Viktors) mental illness. I really love this story and it updates consistently on Wednesday. Take a chance, and read this fic! 

Seven Years and Twenty-Four Hours (Work) by Glaucus_Atlanticus

AO3 Summary: A time-traveling shower transports 18 year old Yuuri into the body of his future self—and into the arms of his idol, Victor Nikiforov. Now Yuuri must pretend to be his older self until he can return to his own era. Which would be a lot easier if Victor weren't so attentive. Or so affectionate.But as time goes on, Yuuri finds himself torn between his old life, and a new one that would hand him everything he ever wanted...but at the cost of his real identity.

COMPLETED! So beautiful. The younger time-traveling Yuuri is so heartbreakingly anxious and Victor is just a sad sac without his time-appropriate Yuuri. This is an angsty fic, but such a great read.

P.S Sorry this turned into an A/B/O fic appreciation post, lol. (but not sorry)

[study-lit]

how to edexcel a level lit: prose comparative essay

wow, back with another semi useful post! :) I’ll use my mock essay as an example of what I mean -- warning: this will be really wordy.

question: compare the ways in which the authors of your two chosen texts criticise human behaviour. you must relate your discussion to relevant contextual factors. (40 marks)

INTRODUCTION: In my view, the introduction is difficult to get right, but it pays off when done well. This is the first bit of your paper that the examiner will read; setting out your thesis well in your introduction lets them know what you’re about.

Human nature, according to Richard Dawkins, is dictated by an ‘unrivaled selfishness’, the internalised want which focuses humanity on its goal of personal success seeps into the functions of us, as humans.

In my opening sentence, I focus on the topic of the question. In this mock, I misinterpreted ‘human behaviour’ and replaced it with ‘human nature’, but really this didn’t impact my mark too badly. It’s good to show some sense of critical theory, but in terms of the assessment objectives, this isn’t imperative like it is in the drama exam.

This ‘selfishness’ is utilised in both Mary Shelley’s ‘Frankenstein’ and Margaret Atwood’s ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ to, perhaps, demonstrate the innate failure of human nature in that its natural state, individualism, even when well meant, creates a catastrophic outcome for both the protagonist, and wider society.

Then, I relate the critical theory to the texts. How do the authors present human behaviour? As the topic title is ‘Science and Society’, I make sure to get in ‘wider society’ in order to demonstrate I am aware of what I was taught.

For an A/low A*, that’s all you need to do. I am going on my teacher’s marking, but for this essay I got 36/40, a low A* if an A* is 90%.

BODY:

I’m going to use one point from my essay, as I wrote two rather long points. I’d try for three or four points (a side and a half for each text per point), but three is probably the happy medium.

Thesis/Comparison:

I try to write a paragraph of direct comparison before I go into the individual texts and their relationship to my thesis. In this case, I break it into two parts:

Humanity’s selfishness directly contributes to the so-called ‘amity-enmity complex’, the social state which dictates individual societal positions.

My point is about the demonstration of the amity-enmity complex in both books, so I make this clear, and define what it means.

Both Shelley and Atwood commentate on the effect the utilisation of ‘insiders’ and ‘outsiders’ has on the individual, perhaps products of their respective contexts: the Religious Right of 1980s America dictated collaboration of White Christians in order to rule over homosexuals or people of colour, whilst Victorian Britain’s main entertainment was the ever-popular ‘freak show’, where those predisposed were taunted for their bosses to make money quickly.

Here, I compare the texts and relate it to the books’ contexts in order to get those AO3 and AO4 marks. Plus, it shows the examiner that I’m clearly considering the methods used in both texts, not just one or the other.

Text One - Frankenstein:

This is long, so I’ll try and break it up...

In ‘Frankenstein’, Shelley utilises Victor’s monster in order to demonstrate the roots of the eventual downfall Victor’s family succumbs to, creating a societal outsider whom Victor shuns. “His hair was a lustrous black [...] teeth of a pearly white [...] these luxuriances only formed a more horrid contrast with his watery eyes” -- Shelley juxtaposes the traits deemed attractive by society with the ‘watery eyes’, a trait common found when crying. The appearance of the Monster -- by which everyone treats him (’wretched daemon’) -- invokes Victor’s amity-enmity complex, which itself, in shunning his newly born Creature, begins the events -- as mirrored in The Handmaid’s Tale -- of the oppressed rising against the oppressor.

So, here, I make my main point: the amity-enmity complex pushes the Creature to revolt against his ruling class (Victor), and in turn sets in motion the events of the rest of the text. Pretty standard stuff (or at least I think so)!

For instance, later in Shelley’s work, the Monster laments that “even Satan has accomplices; fellow demons [...] I am abhorred by all,” a personal outlook imposed by Victor’s human nature to shun those who are different. In his own self interest -- hiding his ‘damned’ creation -- Victor contributes to the creation of the ‘beast’ who leaves Elizabeth, William and Clerval ‘lifeless’, just like the Creature began his lifetime.

Here, I’ve linked my main point to an example further on the text, and rounded it off. Shelley criticises Victor’s human behaviour of abandoning his ‘son’, and punishes him through the tragedy his family (and Clerval, who is totally his gay lover and you can’t tell me otherwise) succumb to.

Text Two - The Handmaid’s Tale:

This point is like 2 and 1/2 sides... your points don’t need to be this long, I just got a bit carried away.

As aforementioned, the amity-enmity complex makes an appearance in ‘The Handmaid’s Take’ where it, too, leads to an outsider rising against the ruling class. Whilst Offred is not an as explicitly an ‘outsider’ like the Creature, her use as a Handmaid creates the divide between those who rule and conform (the Commanders and their Wives) and those who serve (the Handmaids and Marthas). The room Offred resides in, and its contents, demonstrates a ‘return to traditonal (New Right Christian) values’: works of ‘folk art, archaic made by women’ out of things ‘that have no further use [...] waste not, want not.’ The proverb ‘waste not, want not’ and design of things from materials no longer used under the Gileadian regime reflects the commodity of the women used as Handmaids: they’re all ‘sisters dripped in blood’, pairs that ‘mirror’ one another, a group of people who are, by the amity-enmity complex, pulled from the fringes of society (Janine was raped, Offred married a divorcee) and forced into a collective for abuse by their superiors, who joined Gilead when it was little more than a segment of the Moral Majority of Reagan’s day.

If I’m honest, I still don’t quite understand why I got marks for this point, as my language analysis is not quite as developed as I feel it should be. In some ways, this could cover the ao1: I talk about my point - the amity enmity complex’s means of splitting society into groups, and back it up with some loosely relating quotes. I don’t get to the meat of my point until this bit:

Offred, by name, is a possession. Thus, the blatant societal divisions present in Atwood’s text helps assist in creating ‘Mayday’, a rebellion against Gilead’s bourgeoisie. It is Offred, like Shelley’s Creature, whose ostracisation is a catalyst for the events which culminate in the Historial Notes: ‘the past is a great darkness’ which no longer exists. As such, the means of reproduction, and creating a social hierarchy through the view that Handmaids are a commodity, due to human nature’s amity-emnity complex, leads to the felling of a successful society.

This makes more sense: jumping to conclusions and treating people as ‘lesser’ will result in a communist-esque revolution. In referencing the whole text, I can gain provide the examiner with proof that I’m considering all of the text.

Thus, both authors’ texts reflect on the existence of humanity’s prejudices as a direct cause of societal failure and familial tragedy, criticising the human nature of having powerful ‘insiders’, and ostracised ‘outsiders’.

I always culminate my points in explaining the explicit point I’m making.

CONCLUSION:

Here, you’re not just summing up your essay. If your teacher has told you that’s the case, then by all means listen to them, but maybe try this format once. My conclusions come as ‘why should you care, then?’

Human behaviour is, ultimately, criticised in both Shelley and Atwood’s texts as detrimental to the surivival of the individual, but also creates change in the world around them. Both Victor and Offred succumb to the demise often ascribed to Machiavellian villains who practise self-preservation at all costs. Their fates do, arguably, come as a direct result of the actions they take due to their human nature.

I don’t actually mention Machiavelli elsewhere in the essay; I saw this opportunity to leave the examiner (in this case my teacher) with a potential reading. Are Victor and Offred Machiavellian due to their determination to survive over everyone else? Possibly.

I like to make the fact that the authors are telling us, the reader, why we should/shouldn’t be like their characters the final sentence of my conclusion.

As such, through a demonstration of key human attributes such as desrire and the amity-enmity complex, Shelley and Atwood criticise the actions of their own creations whilst giving their readers their own warning: we, too, are prediposed with these traits, and thus have the ability to destroy as well as create.

well, there you go! a breakdown of my essay with “helpful” tips. I hope this assists you guys in your a level or even gives you some new ideas!