#so why should bad stats and low notes stop me now

[egelantier]

disco elysium

i fall into a proper gaming binge every half a year or so, and then forget that computers games exist altogether. my last bout of addiction was hades, a gorgeous roguelite about trying to get out of the underworld and dealing with family, bigger on the inside than it seemed outside. now i've spent a week headfirst into the beautiful madness of disco elysium, and i'm nowhere close to done. middle of the second playthrough, at least a couple more ahead, maybe three, maybe five - this kind of not closer to be done. finally, almost a decade later, there's a spiritual successor to planescape: torment, perfect, unique and compelling like nothing else. i'm head over heels in love.

(and a note: it's very much a game that can and should be played by non-gamers. it's a true click-and-pointer; the entirety of its action happens through dialogue. give it a try.)

in disco elysium, your character wakes up in an absolutely trashed hotel room, coming off a bender of epic proportions, fucked up beyond recognition, and fully amnesiac. it turns out you're visiting a (very much not) sunny town of revachol, a slowly decaying remnant of revolution and consequent war, and, well. you're a cop, and you're here to investigate a murder. namely, a murder of somebody whose dead body is still hanged in the backyard…

this is a horrendous mess, and you are a horrendous mess - bloated, amnesiac, confused, weird, pathetic, with a host of warring impulses and demands fighting for space in your head - but thankfully there's a pillar of stability and light in your dark world, waiting just downstairs: lieutenant kim katsuragi, your assigned partner from another station, a man with godlike sense of dignity and practically endless amount of quiet patience for your bullshit. together with him, you can investigate a crime, try to stop a small civil war, solve a couple of questions of the universe, and maybe, if you play your cards just once, dance a truly epic dance together in a shot-up church. there are also cryptids, karaoke, board games, collecting bottles for money, a mystery of a crashed police car, discovering your own feelings about the homo-sexual underground, and many, many other things.

(the gameplay: you have four sets of stats (intellect, sensitivity, physicality, interacting with objects) and, depending on how you distribute them, you play a wildly different character every time. there's no way to fail: your detective can be dumb as a bag of rocks but able to get by on intuition and muscle memory, or smart and horrible with people, or empathetic and weak, or - the combinations are endless. the game is conducted via a combination of red stat checks that you can do only once, and white checks that you can try, fail, up your stats and retry again. aside from a handful of cases, a lot of time it's easier - and funnier - to accept failures rather than try for a perfect go every time. you are a hot mess, after all. there are ten game days, a variety of sidequests and tasks, and almost endless variability in how you approach them. everything is connected, except for that one door.)

(there's also a political system, where you eventually pick up your political affiliation: a communist, a libertarian, a fascist, and a wishy-washy uncommitted liberal. the game has a lot of things to tell you about all your choices, most of them funny, some of them horrendous. there's no innocence here, and no way to weasel out of the consequences of your worldview; and you could also see that it was done by eastern europe people.)

and the thing is. the thing is, it's very much the kind of a game where you perform a field autopsy on a three days old corpse while a couple of preteen kids are watching avidly and offering their color commentary, and at some point you have to rummage in the corpse's mouth and feel its brain stem. a lot of very, very bad things happen or happened - to you, to the people around you, to the town around you, to the world around you. where in fallout you rolled into town with your stats jacked high and your blaster in hand, and solved ancient disputes and established peace, here the weight of the history is very, very heavy, and you're very, very small. you can't solve the decades of violence and war and trauma and colonization and poverty with the power of your save-scumming and pithy one liners, alas; but you can solve a murder. you can help a sweet and worried old woman. you can put your cheek to a kid's fuzzy plush toy, when offered. you can tell a person, gently, that their loved one is dead, and lie about how drunk they were when they did that. you can replace a taxidermied bird you broke. you can sit on the swing with your partner, waiting for the low tide, and whistle together - two birds on the wire…

it's the gentlest, kindest, sweetest, most hopeful game i've seen in the last decade. it's a goddamn manifesto to human spirit, and to how only - well, love - holds the world, always falling apart, together. a huge part of it is your relationship with kim, because believe me, whoever you are, most of your playthrough would be dedicated to chasing kim's approval and to winning his trust. but it also sneaks into all the cases, all the dialogues, all the little throwaway details. everybody is human; everybody is awful; everybody is holy, even you. oh, even you.

(there are storylines you can or can not discover. about why harry is such a mess - and it's awful and i loved how it was done, with empathy and grace and no judgement; about the state of the world, a bit of eldritch horror so throwaway and beautiful i would read entire volumes just about that; about the city of locusts; about a small girls' memory of playing in the reeds; about the scar of the revolution. suliram, ram, ram…)

(it's also brilliantly, awfully, absurdly, hysterically funny. Art Cop run alone makes me just about die. every failure is funnier than the other. you can be as weird as you want to - in fact, the game encourages you to be as weird as you want to be - and the world around will react accordingly, outperforming you in sheer absurdity. there's a war-and-peace sized amount of dialogue and description in the game, and it's written by some damn genius of pratchettian caliber.)

and, and and. honestly, the best way to get sucked into this game is not reviews, it's random quotes and screenshots, out -of-context spoilers - it's more or less impossible to resist. but please, oh please, give it a try.

>Someone's been walking around in your dreams lately, looking for something. Tidying up, rearranging. Storing away all the unrealized dreams, putting old pains in boxes. The worst nightmares have settled down for a while. A spot of light on the bedroom door after the dark. The fluttering of eyelids in the spring sun. A thought that arises, only to disappear again. And yet there's a pattern emerging…

>What if you didn’t lose your memory? What if something in Martinaise came and stored it all away. For you to slowly open one box at a time. So you can choose which parts to keep. Keep almost none of it. Only the flowers on the windowsill. Only the distant sound of a radio. Lose all the actors, the dark shadows, leave only the still lifes, the blissful distant wash of waves. If everybody knew -- you never did. She’ll be coming soon. That is all.

[captain-yeet]

A Beautiful Way To Die

Pairing: Heidi x Fem!Reader

Summary; When you thought of death or the possibility of you dying, you never seriously considered the possibility of dying at the hands of a gorgeous vampire.

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: swearing, Heidi accidentally being creepy give her a break she's new to interacting with mortals and NOT eating them

Author's note: I've been wanting to write about Heidi for a while now because her character, even though we got so very little of it is fascinating (again thanks smeyer for making your side characters more interesting than the main ones). Also, am a simple gay.

Arising from your jet-lagged slumber, you'd hoped the beautiful blue, sunny skies you enjoyed yesterday would still be there. Sadly, your luck was out the window along with the welcoming warm weather.

You'd travelled to Italy with the intention of finally getting out into the world and having the freedom to explore and go your own path. Looking online for travel destinations was both a struggle and exciting! "Where should I go?" you wondered while scrolling through all your proposed options. None caught your eye until you landed on one listing;

Enjoy an enriching, quaint experience in the city of Volterra!

Nestled in the country hillsides of Italy, Volterra has a host of activities for you to enjoy, from historical site tours and many shopping locales, bars and more. From the Palazzo di Priori to the Volterra Cathedral... Come, and lose yourself in a city who's architecture is frozen in time.

You wandered the town, taking in the sites of all the old buildings around you. Even with the clouded sky above your head, Volterra was still a breathtaking place.

After an hour of wandering you came to a stop in the Palazzo, plopping down to sit by the large fountain. Hands resting under your chin, you entered a blissful, happy daydream.

Sighing dreamily, you let your eyes close.

You didn't notice the woman watching you attentively.

Heidi had been tasked with finding more humans to feed the guards and the masters themselves, her own hunger growing more ravenous by the day. She'd managed to lure in a few stray helpless tourists, but she still needed just a few more.

Striding through the streets with confidence, she halted as a sudden alluring scent hit her like wave. Mouth pooling with venomous saliva, she held in an instinctive growl. Where is that scent coming from? More so... who?

Following the mouthwatering aroma, she let herself be guided through the cobblestone streets of Volterra, the beast within her growling with glee as she got closer and closer to the human. Heidi had had many victims, many catches that she's reeled in from her "fishing" that have satisfied her, but none that made her yearn for blood more so than whoever it was that smelt like this.

She found herself in the Palazzo, her eyes desperately scanning every face, every scent of anyone who was nearby. She needed to know which it was.

Taking in another deep breath through her nose, the scent hit her again, and she found the poor helpless human.

A woman, who smelt better than anything she'd ever had before. Heidi sunk into the shadows of a nearby alley and studied you. You were plain, simple clothes and your eyes were currently closed as you enjoyed some blissful daydream. Her throat burned with thirst by this point, and as she watched you... something else began to grow.

Curiosity, was it? Heidi couldn't put her finger on it. Letting out an unnecessary huff, she decided to approach. I'll make sure to let Felix and Demetri know that this snack is strictly mine alone. Heidi put on her best smile and sauntered over to the human.

 “Pardon me, Miss?” a smooth voice called your attention away from your daydreaming. 

You jump in surprise as you turn your attention to the source of the voice that startled you. The owner of the voice was equally startling; her beauty blinded you, as she stood directly in front of the faint rays of sunlight you swore she was literally shining. The red dress she wore clung nicely to her body, an off the shoulder piece that only highlighted her best assets. Violet eyes gazed at you curiously, flicking from the art book open in your lap to your face. 

If angels were real, you’d believe this woman was one.

Unbeknownst to you, but the shock went both ways. Now that she was face-to-face with you, Heidi’s painted red lips had parted, an inaudible gasp to your ears escaping them.

A pull she had never experienced before took hold of the vampire. She needed to be near you - not just in the hunger sense, but more of a “If I am separated from this woman for any reason I will rip someone’s arm off” kind of way. At least, that is how Heidi would describe it.

Trying to shake herself out of her jumbled train of thought, she flashed you a quick smile, savouring the way it made your heart stutter. “I couldn’t help but notice you sitting here, are you new to Volterra?”

You nodded, gently smiling at the pretty woman. “I am, just passing through on my way to Venice.”

Heidi giggled. "Venice? That's quite the destination. And what brings you to Volterra?"

"I'm going on a tour here before I leave for Venice," you explained, none the wiser to the sudden shift in Heidi's demeanor. "I needed a place to stay since it was such a long trip, and..."

"What tour, if you don't mind my asking?"

You blinked. The woman was now very serious, the playful almost-flirtatious air about her gone. "In there, actually," you reply, pointing to the castle-like cathedral just behind her.

"I see."

Shit. Shit, shit, fuck! A string of curse words swam in Heidi's head in multiple languages. She can't go in there! But she's booked already, they'll be expecting her and we don't often get cancellations and if we do -

"I'm sorry, is there a problem?" You ask, growing more confused by the pretty lady as the seconds went by.

"Ah, hello Heidi."

You both turn your head to the rather tall man who had appeared at Heidi's side. He was quite the looker - very tall, heavy build and looked like he could break you in half with one hand.

"Felix, what are you doing here?" The woman - Heidi - says to her companion with an airy smile.

You didn't fail to notice the sharp look she had in her eyes.

"Just roaming about the city is all," the man replied coolly, a grin on his face that faltered into a curious smile when his gaze shifted to you. “And who might this lovely lady be? Perhaps a tour guest of the castle?”

With a laugh, Heidi linked her arm into Felix’s bicep, her fingernails digging deep into his arm. Under his breath Felix hissed and looked at Heidi with wide, confused eyes but she kept her airy exterior up perfectly.

 “Our tour bookings are full, Felix,” she said pointedly.

You looked on at the exchange feeling lost. There seemed to be some animosity between the two but why? You didn’t know. Maybe they were exes.

 “I see.” A thin, curt smile replaced his cocky grin from just moments ago. “Well then, I’ll meet up with you later. We’ll talk more then.” 

As the man left, Heidi left out a small huff and then turned back toward you, her brilliant smile bewitching you again. "Forgive him, he's always prowling during the tours for pretty young women to bore to death with his rants about his hobbies."

You giggled, grinning back at her. "I'll be sure to try and stay off his radar when tomorrow's tour begins."

Tomorrow's tour, Heidi's thoughts echoed your words. So she's coming in on that tour. Keeping her composure cool, she tilted her head down and gazed at you from beneath her eyelashes. Seduction tactics, only this time she was trying to steer her prey away. "Please beautiful, I want you to listen to me very closely."

Frowning at her sudden serious nature, you began to stand up from where you were perched, listening intently.

"Volterra has a lot to offer tourists, many fascinating sites to see. Our cathedral however... don't come. Please," she pleaded, her voice low and silky, "find somewhere else to go sight seeing."

You froze mid-way through putting away your art book. Her serious tone and the look in her eyes... something about the look in her eyes sent a chill down your spine. "I - I'll consider it."

The corner of Heidi's mouth twitched. She then straightened herself up and the deadly serious disposition left as quickly as it had appeared, the friendly seductress returning once more. "Well, I suppose all I can do is steer you away," she chuckled, more to herself.

You smiled politely back, your eyes flickering to your surroundings briefly. As you took in how the sky had gone much darker than it was before, you gasped. "Oh damn, it looks like its going to rain!"

Sure enough, as soon as the word "rain" left your lips, Heidi felt a droplet from the sky land on her cheek.

"I had better get going, it was really nice meeting you!" You began saying your farewells to the beautiful lady, pulling your backpack hastily up onto your back. You didn't want to get potentially drenched in the downpour.

"Wait!"

Ice gripped your wrist abruptly, sending a shock up your arm and making a surprised gasp escape your lips. The fuck?

Oh.

Heidi had grabbed your wrist. She must have some bad circulation, you vaguely thought to yourself.

"I never got your name." The word were desperate, to Heidi pitiful even.

"It's Y/N," you breathed, taken back by Heidi's behavior.

She let go of your wrist, a half smile appearing. "Y/N," she repeated, your name leaving her mouth - in your mind anyway - almost reverently. "Beautiful name, cara mia... anyway, we should head our separate ways! The rain is sure to stat pouring any moment now."

You hummed in agreement, internally trying to shake yourself out of the stupor you now found yourself in. God damn, this woman... help. She's pretty. So pretty. I am very gay.

"It was nice meeting you, Heidi. Maybe I'll see you around?" You offered with a hopeful smile, trying to shut out your internal screaming.

As you quickly walked away, Heidi carefully breathed in after holding her breath. The air stung her throat, your scent, your blood, making her moan wantonly.

She only hoped for two things; one, that she would get the pleasure of seeing your exquisite face again, and secondly and most importantly, that you would heed her warning not to come to the Volterra Cathedral tour tomorrow.

[julia-highstorms]

Forgive (Bryce x Rei (F!MC))

Author’s note: This takes place in Book 3 Chapter 11, after that poke shop scene. I found Bryce's reaction to his mother too superficial, so here's my hope to add more depth to it.

Disclaimer: Characters and some dialogues belong to Pixelberry Studios, not me.

Rating: PG- 13

Pairing: Bryce x F!MC (Rei Sato) - Masterlist

Word count: +2.4K

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"Hey, bro."

They all stopped eating momentarily to look up at the girl who had just come into the poke shop. She gave him a little wave, a smirk playing on her lips, and Bryce promptly leapt from his seat next to Rei's, and practically sprinted to where his sister was.

"Keiki! You made it!" - he grinned from ear to ear, enveloping her in a bear hug, lifting her off the ground. She hugged him back tightly, before noticing her brother's friends at the table. 

"Rei! Good to see you again. Keeping my brother out of trouble?"

Much more calm and collected than the scalpel jockey, Rei stood up and walked towards the Lahela siblings, smiling back at the teenage girl.

"You know that's not possible. But forget him, don't I get a hug?"

Keiki rolled her eyes, good humouredly.

"I suppose I can manage one for you."

The friendly squeeze she gave Rei was genuine and she smiled as the medical resident took a step back.

"Let me get a look at you. You're taller than me now!"

"Not that it's something too difficult to achieve." 

"Hey!" - Rei pouted to Bryce's comment, and he and his sister laughed. Not that he was wrong; it wasn't difficult to be taller than Rei, who was 5 feet 2 tall. Everyone else was taller than her.

...Well, everyone but Sienna.

"Anyway, it feels like forever since you went off to boarding school! But what are you doing in Hawaii?"

"We're on school break. Lucky for me, it overlapped with y'all being here, so Bryce and I figured we should at least meet up."

"I'm really glad you made it, sis. Here, let me get you--"

Bryce's voice suddenly died as a well-dressed woman walked into the poke shop, just behind Keiki. Rei knew right away who she was, based on the family resemblance. And on how Bryce tensed up, his smile instantly replaced by a blank face, his hands balling into fists.

She looked back straight to him, her dark brown eyes lighting up and then saddening, as her son turned his back to her. He leaned forward to talk to Keiki on an undertone.

"Keiki, what is she doing here?"

"I invited her." - the girl answered, without even blinking.

"Okay. Next question… what do you think you're doing, inviting her here?" - he asked through gritted teeth, his voice controlled.

The girl frowned.

"Like it or not, Bryce, she's the only mother we've got. Whatever she and Dad did, we can't exactly trade them in for different models."

"So… what, we're inviting them to poke and making up like everything's okay?" - the young surgeon clearly didn't have the same opinion as his little sister. - "They defrauded our friends and neighbors, Keiki. They took advantage of people who trusted them, just for money."

"Everything isn't okay… not yet. But they're making an effort. I know you don’t approve of it, but I’ve been talking to them since I went to boarding school. We're trying to repair our relationship. I just thought that… maybe it was time for you to do the same."

The surgical resident glanced at his mother, who was still patiently waiting in the doorway, wringing her hands nervously, avoiding his gaze. Rei saw his jaw clenching and his whole body hesitating, conflict flashing in his eyes. She put her hands on his arm, Bryce relaxing a little under her touch, and she gently pulled him away. 

"Bryce, you don't have to play nice. Your parents hurt you and Keiki. You get to be mad about that, and you don't have to hide it or apologize for it." 

A small smile tugged on the corner of his lips. 

"Thank you, Rei. I appreciate you having my back. But… I think Keiki might be right. At least about hearing her out. She brought Keiki all the way here and is paying for her tuition, after all."

Rei's dark eyes searched his, unspoken words passing through them, and he squeezed her hand before letting it go off his arm, and walked over to his mother.

The older woman immediately straightened up. Based on her expression, she was fully aware that her son was unhappy to see her, but to her credit, she faced him calmly.

Keiki stepped closer to Rei, a few feet away, watching as they both talked in low and hushed tones in a more secluded corner of the shop. The girl frowned.

"Do you think I did wrong by inviting her here, Rei?"

"Do you think you're wrong?" - Keiki shook her head. - "Then you didn't do anything wrong. You just did what you thought was right and the best for everyone."

Bryce glanced back at them, after something that their mother said, and Keiki nodded pleadingly. He sighed and listened to what the woman had to say.

"...Bryce might not agree with me, but I know he'll try to rebuild his relationship with Mom and Dad, just because I asked." - the teenager resumed talking. - "But I want him to do it - or not - for himself, not because he believes this is the best for me."

Rei smiled and patted her on her back. The Lahela siblings were so similar, both of them were only looking out for each other in the end, although they might have divergent opinions.

"I'll tell him this."

Keiki faced her, an inaudible 'thank you' leaving her lips.

"C'mere, Mom." - they both heard Bryce say, before pulling the middle-aged woman onto a stiff and very awkward hug, but she pulled him close nevertheless, burying her face in her son's shoulder.

After she had finally composed herself, they both parted.

"Mom… this doesn't mean we're okay. We have a lot of trust to rebuild. But… I guess this means I'm willing to try to do that." - he smiled, although Rei noticed that it didn't reach his eyes. 

Mrs. Lahela's eyes didn't seem to notice his lack of enthusiasm, as her eyes widened, welling up in tears, on the verge of becoming emotional again. Bryce glanced back to where Rei and Keiki were, an awkward and desperate look on his face, his body tense again, having no idea of what to do.

They both approached them.

"Hey, Bryce, is this your mom? I can see the resemblance." - Rei wore that smile she always used while attending her patients. - "It's lovely to meet you, Mrs. Lahela!"

The three Lahelas started in surprise for a quick moment, before Bryce immediately relaxed, giving her an immensely grateful look, his arms circling around her shoulders to bring her closer. His mother quickly composed herself and smiled back.

"Lovely to meet one of Bryce's friends! You're… Rei, am I right? I heard about you from Keiki." 

"Only good things, I hope!"

The girl smirked.

"Mostly."

"Here, Mom, why don't you take a seat… I'll get you and Keiki something to eat and introduce you to my friends." - Bryce said, feeling a lot more relaxed now that Rei was there, right next to him.

"I'm so glad you said that, because I seriously need some poke, stat." - her wry tone defused the tension, and everyone broke in laughter. 

Before Rei returned with them to their table, she felt Bryce's hand on her wrist, tugging her gently. 

"Thank you, Rei." - he thanked her, a genuine look on his face, and he quickly leaned down to peck her on her forehead. - "I owe you one. Can we talk later?"

"Sure." - she smiled softly at him, before leaving him to order his mother's and Keiki's orders.

By the time she had returned to their table, Keiki was already introducing each of their friends to Mrs. Lahela. They all greeted her with sympathetic smiles and mouths full of poke.

Jackie snooped closer. 

"Is the scalpel jockey okay?" - they both turned to glance at him, who was at the queue, looking just fine.

"I guess so. It could have gone much worse." - Rei turned to face her best friend. - "I'll talk to him later."

"Yeah, it's a good idea. Wouldn't want his trip to end on a bad note for him."

"I'm impressed that you're worried about him, Jackie." - Rei arched a brow, smirking jokingly, to which her roommate rolled her eyes.

"You never heard this from me, but he's a good friend."

"Hear what? I heard nothing." - Jackie grinned and they resumed eating.

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The tension seemed to fade away throughout the meal, Keiki telling them all about boarding school, their friends adding their anecdotes about when they were in high school. At some point, Rei felt Bryce's strong arm circling around her waist, pulling her close, smiling softly at her, in which she comfortably leaned against his shoulder, both of them feeling peaceful by each other's presence. 

By the corner of her eye, Mrs. Lahela watched the sweet scene, a tinge of happiness and calmness spreading inside her as she finally saw her son's genuine smile for the first time in years. Based on what Keiki told her about Bryce's friends, Rei definitely was the closest one and, according to her daughter, she was his 'crush', although the woman wasn't sure what it meant. But looking at them now, she figured that the young doctor probably was her son's girlfriend.

"Man, after all this food I'll need to take a nap!" - Elijah said as Rafael pushed him out of the shop, all their friends following suit. 

"Me too." - Jackie stretched herself.

"Didn't you and Rei spend the whole morning taking a nap?"

"I'm on a vacation, Aurora, this is how I enjoy my time: sleeping."

"C'mon guys, we should all enjoy it to the very last before we're back to Boston tomorrow." - Raf chuckled.

"Ugh, why does the weekend have to end so fast?" - Sienna whined, making them all laugh.

Bryce turned to his sister.

"Great to see you again, sis. Tell me when it's your next school break and I'll take you to somewhere cool."

"Yeah, yeah, don't start going all sappy on me now." - she smiled back.

He visibly tensed as he turned to face his mother, who looked as nervous as him.

"So, huh. I'll call you to know when Keiki's back to school. You'll send her, right?"

"Yes. You can count on me, Bryce."

He gave her a stiff nod, not so sure if he could in fact count on her. But they would see.

"She's a good girl, you know." - Mrs. Lahela said, and his eyes followed hers, instantly settling on Rei a few feet away, with their friends, laughing at something that Jackie said. He couldn't help but smile, the tension in his heart easing a little just by the sight of her.

Bryce could have told his mother that Rei still was just a friend. But it just seemed so unnecessary, since a thought has been around his mind for a while now. 

He wanted to be more than just friends with her. And especially after today, he was more sure than ever about it.

The scalpel jockey had decided that he would finally tell her how he truly felt before they were back to Boston. It had to be tonight. 

"Yeah, she is." - he agreed in the end, smiling fondly.

After telling his goodbyes, the Lahelas parted their ways, Keiki with Mrs. Lahela. Bryce still looked a bit unsure of letting her go with their mother, but his sister seemed okay with it. He knew that, if something happened, she would tell him.

As he turned around to go back to the hotel with his friends, only Rei was still there waiting for him, the rest of the gang already feet away.

His hand fell comfortably on the small of her back and they started walking at a comfortable pace.

"How are you feeling?" 

He sighed. 

"I don't know. I definitely didn't expect that would happen."

"You mean seeing your mom or see her crying?"

"Both. But I guess what I was most impressed about is that she actually came and apologized to me and to Keiki, although she wasn't sure if I would forgive her. She told me that. But she did it anyway, because we deserved it, rather we forgave her or not."

"And have you forgiven her? Them?"

"Not yet. And to be honest, I don't know if I ever will. I've spent too many years away and doing fine without them, and I don't know if I'm ready to have them back to my life or ever wanting to. I said that I was willing to give it a try since Keiki asked me to consider it--"

"Your sister said that she wants you to rebuild your relationship with your parents for yourself, because you're willing to do it, not because she asked you to. She knows you, Bryce."

He nodded, before stopping walking and gazing at her. 

"Am I a terrible person for not wanting to forgive my parents?"

She took his bigger hands in hers, tracing circles on his skin with her thumbs. 

"Of course not. They hurt you and you have every right to feel this way."

"I just don't know how Keiki can forgive and thrust them so easily."

"You left your house almost ten years ago, Bryce. Even though she’d lived with you for the past year, she's spent most of her life with them. Maybe they had changed as time passed or maybe her experience with them had been different. And she isn't you, Bryce. She might see things differently. We don't know."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just worried that she might forgive them, only for things to get awful again back at home. Although she's in boarding school now."

"If that happens, she'll tell you, Bryce. Remember how she went all the way from here to Boston to stay with you and you weren't even close? You're her safe place, now more than ever." - Rei smiled softly. - "She knows she has you."

He nodded, before grinning.

"And I have you. What would I do without you?"

"You'd do just fine." - she smirked. - "But yes, you have me. I'll always be here for you, Bryce." 

Rei saw a genuine, radiant smile spreading on his face, reaching his dark brown eyes, Bryce acting more like his old, both relaxed and confident self. He brushed her hair away, and her eyes flushed closed as she felt his lips on hers, soft and sweet. 

"Thank you, Rei." - he murmured, stroking her cheek. He smirked. - "Dammit, there's no way I can take you to my room for a quickie before Ines's wedding, is there?"

The diagnostics team's medical resident blushed slightly before they both shared a laughter as the hotel came into view, their hands entwined together. 

___________________

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[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Characters in ANF Who Would’ve Made Better Love Interests Than Kate

There are a lot of mixed opinions on TWDG: A New Frontier. Some people like it, some don’t, and some people hate it so much that they refuse to accept as canon in the series. Extreme? Yeah, but hey, to each their own. 

One thing that always bothers me when I do my replay of the series and this game is how much Kate is forced on us and even kinda punishes us for not romancing her. Like, no offense, but I’m not really interested in dating my sister-in-law, especially when her husband is actually alive, and even if she wasn’t my brother’s wife, she’s still not a character I have chemistry with, y’know? 

And every time I play, I can’t help but think that almost anyone else in ANF would’ve been a better romantic interest for Javi over Kate, so I decided to make that the list for this week. 

I would’ve loved more choices and for the game to actually show Javi’s canon bisexuality outside of a flirty line with Jesus that most players didn’t even pick. Just sayin’.

I do want to note that if you enjoy the romance with Kate and the relationship between her and Javi, that’s totally cool. Just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean you can’t ship them, y’know? I’m not here to try to change your mind or tell you you’re bad for shipping something I don’t because I’m not a dingus. You do what makes you happy, friend. :)

Besides, going off the stats, a majority of players romanced her so if anything, I’m the weirdo. This list is just for fun! 

Before we start, just wanna say a big thank you to @pi-creates​ for helping out with this one! Really appreciate it! Now, here are my top 5 characters who, in my opinion, would’ve made better love interests for Javier than Kate.

5. Jane if the writers didn’t turn her into a dead potato

Oh man, you should see your face right now. 

Wait, wait, stop! Before you click outta here in a huff with your “Kenny good Jane bad” grunts and come yell at me, just hear me out-- this entry is mostly a joke and the other four on this list are serious, okay? 

I needed someone to put at #5 and after talking over some options and going back and forth.... Jane came up as a joke and then kind of made the list. Because really, I thought about it. I was like, “Would I really rather have dingdong “whatever happens stay out of it” potato face Jane as a love interest over Kate? Do I dislike Kate as an option that much?” and Pi and I talked about this for a while and yeah.... yeah I would actually. 

When I said anyone but Kate, I guess I really meant anyone. 

Trust me, I know, I’m just as surprised. I guess this really says a lot about my feelings for Kate. I didn’t know I disliked her this much either.

But for fun, let’s entertain this idea of the writers NOT pulling the ol’ character assassination on Jane and she made it to Richmond with Clementine and AJ because--

Jane: "One time I ate glass because I was drunk and thought it was sugar."

Javier: "I gambled on my own baseball matches and disgraced myself for money."

Jane: “Well, I dragged my little sister around with me after everything went to shit until I finally gave her what she wanted and left her to die.”

Javier: “I wasn’t there when my dad was fighting cancer and when I finally showed up, I was too late and he was already dead, then he turned and I bashed his skull in with a piece of wood.” 

Jane: “I shot a dude’s dick off once.”

Javier: “Oof. I insulted an old lady’s cake and then shot her eye out.”

Jane: “I screwed a guy when I was supposed to be securing a place for some lady to have her baby and it resulted in the death of a teenage girl.”

Javier: “I screwed my brother’s wife.” 

Jane: “...”

Javier: “In my defense, I thought he was dead.” 

Jane: “That’s fair.”

Clementine, exasperated and emo: “Oh my god.” 

....I mean... we might be onto something here, c’mon--

Okay, now onto the more legit entries. 

4. Conrad

Now listen... I know, okay? I know. I know this one can be seen as a bit problematic considering the fact that Conrad, in his grief and anger over Francine’s death, held a gun to Gabe’s head and threatened Javi and Clementine.... plus Javi can literally murder him.

...and if you don’t do anything, Conrad with murder both Gabe and Javi and you’ll get a “YOU ARE DEAD” screen...

But we don’t talk about that because it’s not canon.

I know, but listen... I’m allowed to have ships that are difficult, as are you, and this is my list so... there.

If Conrad was a love interest that’s the route I’d take because I love him and I think a relationship between him and Javi could’ve been so damn good if properly done.

I just find Conrad to be an interesting character with a great arc that you only get to see if you don’t shoot him... which is what most people did, so they missed out. And like, I get it, I get why y’all shot him but maybe next time you play, you could consider not doing that?

So here’s the thing, Javi and Conrad share something-- they both lost loved ones because of shithead Badger. Javi is heartbroken after Mariana’s death, Conrad is devastated after Francine’s death, and they both handle that in different ways. Conrad becomes so focused on revenge and getting into Richmond, that he’s willing to threaten two kids in order to get what he wants but the thing is... that’s not him.

He even says so himself when you keep him alive-- he genuinely apologizes for what happened and will end up coming back to save Javi’s life in ep4. The potential for this to work as a relationship? It’s there... the only problem is that my confidence in the writers handling something like this is low, but let’s pretend they used their time and brains wisely-- ya got yourself a classic slow-burn friends to enemies to friends again to lovers romance and I’m here for it. 

3. Paul “Jesus” Monroe

A lot of people really like the idea of Javi and Jesus and wanted him to be a romantic option, and I don’t blame them. They have chemistry in the scenes they share, and Javi can straight up flirt with him at the end of the season, and it’s super cute... of course, I wish we had more but Telltale was too scared to actually show Javi’s bisexuality outside of that one line, I guess.

But, anyway, this ship has a lot of sweet fanart that we love to see.

The only real reason he isn’t higher on the list is that Jesus is apparently already in a relationship at this point? I guess? From what I’ve been told? Listen, I don’t read the comics, I don’t watch the show, I just go off what y’all tell me. Plus, I believe Kent joked about Jesus having someone in each community during the commentaries so like... that’s a thing?

But let’s pretend that we throw that all out and Jesus is single and ready to be in a committed relationship with our boy Javier here. Like I mentioned above, these characters have a believable chemistry from the moment they meet and I think that has a lot to do with how charming they are by themselves. Those different charms work well together.

I also enjoy how much of a badass Jesus is when it comes to fighting off walkers. Javi has a lot of force that you feel with each hit, while Jesus almost has a lighter but just as impactful hit? I dunno if I’m explaining that well-- basically, Javi strong but Jesus can bounce off walls and do cool shit with weapons that feels effortless.

It’s a combo of fighting styles that I love, so these two fighting together? *chef kiss*

There’s also Jesus’ morality and how he wants to see Javier make “good” decisions, y’know? Sure, he gets pissy if you murder the shit outta Badger, which is mostly just Telltale showing you consequences, but I get it. He sees a lot of potential in Javi, more than Javi himself sees. And unlike certain characters, Jesus doesn’t completely hate you for doing something he doesn’t agree with to a frustrating degree.

If the game gave us the option to pursue Jesus as a love interest, he and Javier would’ve been such a badass couple with a sweet romance.

2. Eleanor

This one might come as a surprise to those of you who know my feelings about Eleanor... as in, I don’t like her. I never forgave her for the shit she pulled in ep4/ep5, and now every time I replay ANF and she shows up? Well, all I really hear is the hissing of a snake.

But, putting those feelings aside and looking at her from a different perspective, I do believe that she would’ve made for a better love interest than Kate assuming that if you romanced her, she wouldn’t rat everyone out to Joan, y’know?

Hell, most people believed that Eleanor was going to be the second option with Kate back when the episodes were coming out, and for good reason. The chemistry is there in the flirting, and their relationship could’ve been super cute.

Of course, Eleanor being a love interest also comes with things becoming awkward with Tripp, but c’mon-- as awkward as pursuing a relationship with your sister-in-law and never telling your brother after finding out he’s alive? Nah, I don’t think so.

Plus, for the first three episodes, Eleanor’s not a bad character. In fact, she’s pretty damn likable, she deeply cares for the group and wants to use her medical skills for good.

And you can tell through the dialogue that she and Javi are fond of one another... well, I guess until they shove the Kate thing in our faces and suddenly Eleanor’s like “oh, I thought you two were a thing??” like... Eleanor, we were flirting and I totally rejected all of Kate’s advances last episode I mean??

If she were a love interest, instead of turning on us, she would... y’know, not do that and instead help us out. We have a couple cute moments like back in ep1 where she’s patching Javi up but this time with a smooch? Super cute.

1. Tripp

Okay but seriously, why wasn’t Tripp a love interest? 

He’s the perfect option. I just-- uuuughhhhh. 

They already have a great believable bromance, so why not take it a step further and make it an official romance? Oh wait, that’s right, ya gotta kill off 95% of your determinant characters, I forgot. Sorry Tripp. 

Well, fuck that. Out of all the other adult characters, Javi has the most chemistry with this man. I believe them more than I believe him and Kate. Sure, they got off to a rocky start the progression of their relationship felt natural with every episode. 

That scene where Tripp is confiding in Javi about his feelings for Eleanor? And in turn, Javi can confide in him about Kate? One of my favorite scenes. I only wish there was an option to tell Tripp he can do much better and set the path for the romance. 

Seriously, I’d probably feel more okay about the romance with Kate if Tripp were the second option. That way, Kate wouldn’t be so forced onto the player, the writers confirming Javi’s bisexuality on Twitter or whatever wouldn’t feel like they were trying to earn points without actually showing representation, and we would’ve gotten the beauty that is Javier and Tripp. 

Also, then Tripp could make it to the end without dying that dumb death of his that no one likes. 

And if I haven’t convinced you yet, then look at these swaps Pi did--

--and tell me they aren’t fucking perfect?? You can’t, because look at them. 

Where’s my Tripp route, Telltale??

---

Honorable Mentions

-If I wasn’t sticking to just ANF characters, Luke probably would’ve made the list because that’s apparently a popular combo and I dig it.  -Pudding... because Javi fucking loves pudding.  -Honestly Max probably would’ve been a better love interest than Kate oof--

---

So, whattya think? Do you agree with this top 5 or nah? Do you have a favorite Javi ship? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you. :D

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Times Lee was the Absolute Best

[five-rivers]

Long Night in the Valley Chapter 2

“You shouldn’t be here.”

Everyone turned to see Midoriya standing on the stairs to the beach, looking down at them.  None of them, least of all Shouto, had ever seen that expression on his face before. That… flatness that almost rivaled his own.  

Uraraka took a step forward.  “Deku?” she asked, uncertainly.  Suzuki, the commission instructor, threw his arm in front of her, blocking her path.  

“Whatever that is,” he said, voice strained and low-pitched, “it isn’t Midoriya Izuku.  Saito’s quirk doesn’t allow for the subject to have an avatar in the dreamscape without a lot of practice.  There’s another quirk at work here.”

“You need to leave,” said Midoriya, descending a single step.  “Now.”

“It could be a result of his own quirk,” said Aizawa, who nonetheless had a hand on his capture weapon.  “He’s had odd reactions to mental quirks in the past.  Jumping to conclusions is illogical.”

“We have evidence Midoriya Izuku is working for the League of Villains,” said Suzuki, backing away from the stairs, slightly.  “By the rules laid out in the standard—”

Shouto tuned Suzuki out, by now quite convinced that the man had nothing particularly meaningful to say, in favor of examining Midoriya.  

It was Midoriya.  Just, a Midoriya that was annoyed, defensive, and maybe a little offended with just a touch of something else.  Which was a weird combination on Midoriya.  Especially as muted as it was. Midoriya’s expressions, no matter what they were, were always so big.  

“—I am recruiting you to aid this investigation and determine the League of Villain’s plans!”

“If you don’t leave, I’ll make you leave,” growled Midoriya.  

Wow, for someone who was the embodiment of sunshine, he could be really threatening.  Then again, sunburns were a thing, so maybe it wasn’t too surprising.  

“You’re here against my will, after coercing me into allowing a quirk to be used on me.  I want you out.”

“Eraserhead, I suggest you restrain this projection, whoever it belongs to.”

“I’m not going to warn you again,” continued Midoriya.

“I suggest,” said Aizawa, “that you listen to him.  We can ask Midoriya about this when we’re all awake and not in his head.  Like you should have done in the beginning.”

Midoriya tilted his head slightly to one side.  

“I agree!  This is very unethical,” said Iida, chopping at the air.  “This is basically an interrogation, and Midoriya is a minor! You need parental permission!”

“Which, before you start talking about him willingly participating in this course,” said Aizawa, “he has explicitly withdrawn. Not to mention his mother signed those opt-out forms, so her permission is withdrawn as well.”

“You can’t be serious—”

“I am,” said Aizawa.  “Take us out.  This whole thing is illogical.”

“I can’t,” said Suzuki.  “Saito is the only one who can shut down her quirk prematurely.”

“What?” said Uraraka.  “There’s no way for you to contact her in an emergency?  That’s really dangerous!”

“That’s not what Saito Yume said, either,” said Midoriya, flatly. “’The dream state persists until either I release it, the people involved break free, or eight hours pass.’ Implying that there’s another way to break free.  One that you, by necessity, must know.  So, leave. Or I’m going to start to defend myself.”

Suzuki took a deep breath.  “I am here,” he said, “to complete a mission given to me from the Hero Commission.  Your refusal to comply with the terms set out in your licensing agreements will be noted.”

Midoriya brought his head up straight again and squared his shoulders.  His hands clenched.  He was wearing gloves, Shouto noticed.  Not the gloves that went with his hero costume, but work gloves.  He’d seen the landscapers who worked at his family home wear something similar.  

Why?

“Fine,” said Izuku.  “Then I’m going to kick you out.”

“That’s impossible, you—”

“I know this beach very well.”

Abruptly, the pristine white sand was covered in towers of trash, separating Shouto from the others.  Suzuki’s insistence that Midoriya was a spy had already had him on edge.  This put him fully into battle-mode.  

He dropped into battle stance, and carefully froze one of the trash piles in front of him, making an icy stair to the top.  His first priority was to find Aizawa and his classmates and regroup.  To do that, he had to get a better vantage point.  

He jogged up the stairs, noting, absently, that he was now in his hero suit, not his school uniform.  What had he been wearing before this turned into a fight?  He hadn’t particularly noticed.  

He reached the top just in time to see Midoriya bludgeon Suzuki with a piece of rusty rebar.

Alright.  Maybe that wasn’t Midoriya.

.

Aizawa wasn’t fast enough getting around the piles of trash. He would have tried to scale them, but there was no safe place for him to grab on to.  The piles were simply too unstable, too untrustworthy, too poorly shaped.

He arrived just in time to see Midoriya, or what looked like Midoriya, impale Suzuki with a pole.  

Before his mind could fully process the problem child attempting what looked a whole lot like murder, he had him wrapped in his capture weapon.

Midoriya had the gall to look confused, if only slightly.

“Todoroki,” Aizawa barked, spotting his other student on top of one of the horribly dangerous trash mounds.  “First aid, stat.”

“Yes, sir,” said Todoroki, making an ice ramp to glide down.

“Midoriya,” he said.  “What was that?”  Perhaps it was illogical to ask, but he still couldn’t quite believe his eyes.  

“I was testing to see if he’d wake up and go away if he got knocked out,” said Midoriya.  He made a tiny, not-quite-shrugging motion.  “This is just a dream, after all.”

Alright.  That was true, but it was still incredibly disconcerting to see Midoriya act so callously towards the life of another human being.  Although he was unsure how many times Midoriya had hit Suzuki, and certain places of impact were less lethal than others, blunt force trauma, especially to the back of the head, could still be deadly.  

There was the sharp report of a gun, and Midoriya jerked forward, blood leaking from some invisible wound to drip down his face. Then he vanished.  

He turned towards that utter bastard Suzuki, eyes blazing, only to find him entirely encased in a glacier except for his head.

While Aizawa had been trying to train Todoroki out of reflexively encasing human beings in ice, due to frostbite, hypothermia, and other potential health issues, he was willing to let it slide.  Just this once.  

“I told you,” said Suzuki, teeth chattering.  “That isn’t your student.  And even if it was, he’s a traitor.”

“Sensei,” said Todoroki, “what are we going to do?”

“First,” said Aizawa.  He didn’t get beyond that, because Uraraka was abruptly launched from behind a wall of trash, trailing a makeshift tether of salvaged bungee cords.

“Found them!” exclaimed Uraraka.  “I don’t see Deku, though!”

“First,” said Aizawa, feeling exhausted despite technically being asleep, “we regroup.”

.

Toshinori was supposed to be teaching a third-year heroics course.

He wanted to be with Izuku at the Hero Commission training, even if he was retired, with only a retiree license to his name.  

He was in the nurse’s office, getting his brain checked by Recovery Girl, because sudden debilitating headaches weren’t on the long, long list of symptoms he’d come to expect from his injuries and medications.

Chiyo was worried he might be having a stroke, an aneurism, or some other sudden, lethal, brain condition.  She’d used her quirk on him at once, and the pain hadn’t stopped. She’d said that, at least, it should stop an aneurism from getting worse.  

Toshinori hoped it wasn’t brain cancer.  As far as personal abilities went, all he had going for him right now was brainpower and a stupidly high pain tolerance.

He closed his eyes against the bright lights of the room. Everything seemed too bright and blurry.  Sounds warped oddly in his ears.  The fabric of the bed underneath him felt gritty against his fingertips.  

It was like he wasn’t entirely here.  

Oh, the joys of hallucinations.

(Something like urgency pushed against the back of his mind. Whispered Eight, and help, and Nine.)

(Something was going more wrong than usual.)

He waited for Chiyo to step out of the room before he snuck out.

.

Izuku emerged from sleep with a choked gasp, heart racing, head spinning.  Where-?

It took him several fraught minutes to get his breathing under control and recognize where he was.  The room for the Hero Commission course.  His classmates and teacher were sleeping next to him, as well as the commission instructor.  What had his name been?  Something with an S?

Thinking was hard.  It was like his brain was occupied with something else and he kept having to nudge it back on track.  It was like—

He shook his head, which pounded with the movement, distracting him further.  He—He should—

What?

An odd sensation overtook him, and he found himself slowly, cautiously standing up.  It wasn’t like Shinsou’s quirk, where his body was out of his control, but more like he was almost sharing control, somehow.  Like he could, at any point, take control back.  And he did, just to test the theory, stopping for a moment, his hand halfway to his backpack.  

But that was hard, and he really wasn’t up for much in the way of decision-making, and the others were quite adamant that he had to get out now.  They’d know.  He trusted them.  

They picked up the backpack.  

Eight was coming.  They could trust Eight.  

The door slammed open.  Izuku froze.  Several heroes in costume and a man with a suit and a commission nametag stood in the doorway.  

“Get him!”

Four moved so differently from Izuku.  Precisely, like he knew exactly how his opponents were going to act, where they were going to be.  It reminded Izuku of how Sir Nighteye moved.  

In seconds, they were in the main hall, sprinting past crowds with the help of One for All.  Izuku felt bad about leaving Aizawa and his friends, but they knew, they weren’t targets. Izuku was.  

Izuku didn’t know how they knew that, how he knew that.  

Parking lot.  Streets. Alleyway.  Rooftops.  His UA uniform was too attention grabbing.  They dropped his blazer behind one of the rooftop ventilation shafts and tugged off his tie.  The button down by itself was less attention grabbing.  There was nothing they could to about his pants.  Alley again.  The people chasing him could track his phone.  They needed to get rid of it.  

Preferably in a way that wouldn’t immediately tip their pursuers off to the fact they had gotten rid of it.  Sending them the wrong way would be a good distraction, would buy them time.  

They slipped onto a bus and dropped Izuku’s phone into a woman’s purse.  Hopefully, she wouldn’t notice the change in weight for a while.  

Six and Two were very good at this kind of thing.  Not to mention One.  

It would probably sound weird to an outsider, but it was comforting.  The experience and care of the past users wrapped around him like a thick blanket, making it so that Izuku didn’t mind so much about his distraction, even though he wished he could help more.  

He got off the bus.  They needed to find Eight.

.

“Just so you know,” said Aizawa, several registers shy of conversationally.  “If you’ve harmed my student in any way, I will do everything in my power to make your life a living hell.”

“Nothing here actually affects the mind of the subject,” said Suzuki, rolling his eyes.  “Otherwise, we wouldn’t use Saito’s quirk.”

“Your information hasn’t exactly been accurate so far,” said Tenya, pushing his glasses up and frowning.  Suzuki had, in fact, been fundamentally unhelpful.  “In fact, I believe you have outright lied to us on several occasions.”  He glanced at his classmates for support and did a double take.  

Standing behind Uraraka, half-hidden behind a beaten-up old refrigerator, was Midoriya.  A smaller, slimmer, younger Midoriya, who was wearing an ‘ALL M’ t-shirt, thick gloves, and… and an awfully large amount of rope?

He was also crying, silently, and staring at Suzuki.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said.  He pulled on the rope.  The refrigerator came free, destabilizing the pile of trash it had been supporting.

It all came tumbling down.  

.

Ochako managed to avoid most of the debris coming for her, and slapped most of the remainder, making them float with her quirk.  Even so, by the time the dust settled, she was covered in scrapes, the pink fabric of her hero suit torn—

Wait.  Hero suit?

Whatever, she was asleep, and the more important thing was to find Iida, Todoroki, and Aizawa-sensei.  They had been in the direct line of the collapse.  She was pretty sure Deku had been able to get out of the way.

“Shouldn’t have done that.”

“Five-point touch activation.  Seems to affect buoyancy of objects.  Possible martial arts background based on movement.”

Ochako spun to face not one, but two small Dekus. The new one was, if possible, even smaller than the first and wearing a gakuran.  He had a notebook spread out across his left arm and was writing in it at lightning speed.  

“Hands are a possible weak spot, but a known one.  Be careful of kicks.”  Gakuran Deku’s words devolved into mumbling, but t-shirt Deku was still nodding, so he must understand.  

T-shirt Deku also had a length of pipe.  Ochako did not like where this was going.  

Then again, the whole point of this exercise was to learn how to defend one’s mind.  She couldn’t exactly fault Deku for doing just that.  She dropped into a fighting stance and grinned.  

.

It was nothing short of a miracle, Aizawa decided, that they hadn’t been killed yet. Then again, it was possible that Midoriya, despite his obviously altered and disturbed mental state, was still holding back against them.  

Which was annoying.  Because neither of the two small Midoriya-lookalikes was particularly strong.  Nor did they appear to be using Midoriya’s quirk, despite the fact that Aizawa, Iida, Uraraka, and Todoroki had no trouble using theirs.  The problem was that they were terrifyingly intelligent, just shy of ruthless, and had an incredible home-field advantage in that they seemed to know the location and nature of every bit of trash on the beach and in that they could evidently make it disappear and reappear at will.  They also avoided head-on combat whenever possible, letting the terrain do their work for them.  

Fighting them was, in fact, like fighting someone with a quirk completely unlike Midoriya’s.  With a fighting style completely unlike Midoriya’s.

And that made Aizawa wonder, because all too often, he caught Midoriya trying to replicate All Might’s style, and if he did that when he could be doing something more like this—

But this wasn’t the time for such speculation.  

He pulled Todoroki away from a trap again (he evidently hadn’t yet grasped that Midoriya was attacking them), and then jumped away from a chain reaction caused by whatever Uraraka just threw.  

Unless they wanted to spend the next hour being beaten up by the problem child… “We need to get somewhere he has less control over the environment.”

“Off the beach?” suggested Uraraka, panting.  “He said—He said he knew the beach well, so…”

Aizawa nodded.  That was good thinking.  Where were the stairs?

“You need to leave!”  

“We’re trying, problem child!” snapped Aizawa, and, miraculously, that made Midoriya hesitate.  Aizawa pulled Todoroki towards the stairs.   The others were able to follow on their own.  

They made their way up, and as soon as they hit the top step the previously clear sky opened up and it began to pour.  Aizawa was soaked through in seconds.  

Wonderful.  

However, the attacks—which had been relentless up until this point—stopped.

“We left Suzuki,” observed Iida.  

Aizawa held back a groan.  

“Who cares?” asked Todoroki.  

“We do,” said Aizawa.  “We can’t let him run around unsupervised in Midoriya’s head.”

“I think he might have gotten crushed,” said Uraraka.  “He was still in your ice, wasn’t he, Todoroki?”

“Yeah,” said Todoroki.  “Trash should stay with trash,” he mumbled under his breath.  

“We have no idea how any of our quirks will function long-term in a dream,” said Aizawa, not addressing the trash comment because he honestly sort of agreed.  “Nor do we know what his quirk is.”  He sighed. “We may also have to consider that he is correct and Midoriya is compromised.”

Predictably, there was quite a bit of protest.  

“He may also have other information regarding the situation at hand,” said Aizawa.  “Which we need.”

There was a rattle among the trash heaps, and Aizawa turned to watch Suzuki drag himself out from under a mound of trash.  

“You left me!” accused Suzuki, loudly.  “You almost let that gremlin kill me a dozen times!”

“Well,” said Midoriya from behind them, where he absolutely hadn’t been a minute ago, “then maybe you should have left when I asked."

[eternalglitch]

Like Father Like Son: Chapter 3

Prologue Arc 1: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Mikey let out a small sound in the back of his throat, bending down to pick up the odachi by its hilt, hands shaking slightly. His reflection stared back at him, eyes wide and face a paler shade of green than was normal, pale enough that he could actually see his yellow freckles that oh so rarely showed up. “Guys?” he whispered. “Has Leo ever gone out without his weapon?”

Read it HERE on ao3.

Chapter Specific Warnings: no specific ones (please see the general ones listed in the prologue)

Chapter Three: All Green and Blue

“He’s not picking up. Why isn’t he picking up?!” Mikey demanded, looking up from his phone. The youngest couldn’t help but shift from foot to foot, a sort of buzzing energy from his anxiety making him want to move. Why couldn’t his brothers walk faster?

“Yeah, it is odd he wouldn’t answer either of us…” Donnie agreed, squinting at his wrist tech. “I can’t locate his phone’s location, either. It’s either out of battery or broken.”

Finally, Mikey thought with relief, Raph’s pace noticeably quickened, his brothers right on his heels. “Okay… okay. First, we’re gonna backtrack the possible routes to the pizza place, and then we’re going to check any place he could have ended up. Donnie?” The leader of the group glanced at the purple turtle, gaze expectant.

“On it, I’ll hack any nearby cameras and run a scanner through social media looking for buzzwords,” the technological prodigy replied, typing quickly. “I’ll compile a list of people that might’ve gone after him as well.”

“People that went after him?” Mikey asked, now even more nervous, his voice rising a pitch or two until it cracked completely. “You think the foot clan or Big Mama is behind this? What if they’ve hurt him?” Mikey reached out and clung to Donnie’s elbow, staring over at Donnie’s screen as stats whizzed by. The other turtle tolerated it, but didn’t stop typing to pat his shell or head. That was a sign things really were serious. “What if he’s all alone and scared or… or I don’t know! I can’t even begin to picture him being scared!”

“Again, Michael, I’m sure it’s really nothing, we’re just being thorough—“ Donnie finally started to reassure him, but his eyes never moved from the screen until a loud clatter rang out. Donnie froze, Mikey almost stumbling as he was also pulled to a sudden stop. They looked down.

Leo’s sword was lying, innocently forgotten, all alone on the sewer floor.

Mikey let out a small sound in the back of his throat, bending down to pick up the Odachi by its hilt, hands shaking slightly. His reflection stared back at him, eyes wide and face a paler shade of green than was normal, pale enough that he could actually see his yellow freckles that oh so rarely showed up. “Guys?” he whispered. “Has Leo ever gone out without his weapon?”

“I’m sure there’s a reason… or… or an explanation,” Donnie grasped at, but after he glanced at Raph, who shot him a panicked look, Donnie bowed his head, his eyes flicking back and forth as he thought.  

It was Raph who spoke next, his voice low and urgent. “If something did go down– someone must’ve been inside of the sewers– I’m not sure Leo even made it outside for the pizzas in the first place.” The eldest scratched his head, his expression slowly darkening.

“So they came here purposefully looking for us and somehow we didn't even notice them brothernap Leo from right here?” Mikey looked around at the ground, eyes flicking up and down the sewer walls like the name of the culprit would be left behind with a clean, neat note. He needed someone to tell him flat out that it was going to be okay, he realized weakly, hugging the sword close. Someone to crack a bad joke about the situation, or know what to say. He needed… he needed his brother.

“I’ll call April,” Raph said, phone already out. He already had her number pulled up as well, finger hovering over the green button to call. “We’ll need eyes in every possible place, including checking to see if this was on Leo’s way to or from the pizza place.”

“I now have generated the list of most likely suspects,” Donnie added, pulling up a screen that had a numbered list of the names of their many yokai nemeses. At the top of the list were the various yokai that constantly fought with them on the regular, and the list continued down until it ended with a Warren Stone, although Donnie must have added him just to be safe; in reality, Mikey barely remembered the guy. “It looks like the first name my algorithm came up with is those mutant crabmen we came across recently- apparently they sometimes linger in this area.”

Raph nodded, pulling his phone away from his tympanum and giving them a thumbs up. “April’s in,” he confirmed. The way he said it was heavy; the air shifted, and the panic is forced down until Mikey only has to concentrate on being efficient and focused. “Now, Mad Dogs; let’s move.”

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The floor framed between Leo’s hands was swimming; sweat dripped down and splattered onto the negative space that the floor was made up of, and he was dimly aware that his arms shook under the pressure of holding himself up. Get up, he told himself. Get up, you have to do something. Anything. Just get up, Leonardo.

“Get up,” Draxum echoed his sentiment, voice expectant.

The repeat was like a slap to the face; Leo could only lift his chin to stare at him, a bitter laugh being swallowed before it escaped his lips. Sure, he knew he needed to do that, but it seemed a bit ridiculous for the guy with the metaphorical big red button to ask him to as well. He had a concussion and had just been fried; what did Draxum expect him to do-

The collar let out a shrill buzzer sound, and Leo only had a split second to think what? before the collar lit up for a third time. His arms gave out and he hit the ground hard, and even though he knew what would happen if he screamed, he couldn’t help but do so anyways. The result was exactly as expected. His mouth felt dry.

“Don’t you think the shock’s intensity is too high, Boss?” one of the gargoyles asked from above him. Leo couldn’t see which one; stars danced in front of his hazy vision. “He looks kinda dead after just four zaps.”

“Yeah. And it’s probably going to take a lot of these shocks for it to sink in,” the other agreed. “He keeps making it worse.”

Draxum scoffed, and Leo flinched slightly at the sound, hands weakly rising to shield his head from any more attacks. “Well. I just set it to what he should be strong enough to take. It’s his own fault for being weak. He’s lucky; I don’t have the advanced setting on yet.”

Leo felt Draxum’s nails dig into his bicep as the yokai reached down and hauled him up to his feet, Leo swaying as he tried to lean away from the yokai. “Stay still,” Draxum ordered, and Leo bit down hard enough on his inner cheek he tasted copper, barely accomplishing the feat.

Draxum circled him, hands clasped behind his back. Leo’s head felt foggy, and he didn’t even bother watching Draxum; his head kept drooping forwards, like when he was watching Donnie’s favorite Jupiter Jim movie without Raph around to liven things up. Everything hurt so badly. His hands wrapped around himself and Leo shrunk a bit under Draxum’s assessment.

“You’re slower to catch on than I would have thought,” Draxum said after a moment. “But let me spell it out now, just for the sake of ‘fairness,’” he added with his fingers punctuating the last word with air quotes. “The collar has three things that you will be shocked for. Any vocalizations, or any failure to follow my exact orders as well as… well. I could always just order it to go off.” Leo flinched, his fists tightening. Was Draxum enjoying this? April had taught them the meaning of the word sadistic at one point, after their first prank day on her where no one had told her it was coming. And that was the only word Leo could think of at the moment when he glanced up and into Draxum’s eyes.

This was sadistic.

“It was quite the impressive invention, really,” he continued. “Somehow a simple shock collar had a complicated A.I. that understood the situation at hand enough to correct situational humor. Not to mention it didn’t even need to feel the vocal chords vibrating; it could be programmed to listen for a certain individual’s voice and go off regardless of if it was being worn or not. A bit overkill, if you ask me, but who am I to judge?” A smug smile crossed his lips. “Your brother must have felt quite strongly about this to have put so much work into fixing your flaws.”

He didn’t know anything, Leo told himself. Donnie was just like that, he had made his dorky and kind of insensitive gifts for everyone, he hadn’t been trying to single Leo out or anything. Of course not. Even if Mikey and Raph’s inventions hadn’t caused them any harm at all when they used them, just tried to prematurely stop them from doing it. Even if Leo and Donnie were the main two that squabbled, he never would have… Leo shook his head, one hand slowly rising to press against his forehead.

He couldn’t think like this, he needed to bounce his ideas off of someone for it to be useful. Had Dad ever taught him what to do in a situation like this? A quick scan through memories of Splinter handing him his first pair of swords, of noodle fights and throwing stars, and the only thing Leo could come up with was the advice “stay with your brothers. You will protect all of them, and they in turn will all protect you. And if you get separated, stay in one spot until we can find you.”

Yeah, great, but that advice had been from when Leo was seven. When Splinter had first let them wander a bit farther into the sewers to explore with just the four of them. This wasn’t getting lost in the sewers, this was- this was something more. He was starting to have to face the knowledge that this was something serious, even.

“Pay attention when I am speaking!” Draxum suddenly snapped, and Leo went rigid when the collar let out a low, almost inaudible chirp, his eyes darting down to where he could see the blue rim of the machine before back up to Draxum. The collar didn’t otherwise react, though, but Leo kept still, wondering when the proverbial shoe would drop. “How will I teach you anything if you keep zoning out?”

“It miiiiiight be the concussion,” Muninn offered, one hand on his chin. “We’ve seen a few guys get hit before, Boss, and they also had that spacey look to them.”

Draxum threw up his hands. “Well, he should learn to deal with that. Injuries are something to be powered through.” The yokai took a deep breath, and the two gargoyles dipped as his shoulders slowly became less tense. “But. Very well. Before I forget, a few rules,” he said, voice suddenly back to the flavor of ‘calm with an undertone of smugness.’ AKA the most punchable tone of voice Leo had ever heard. “No trying to escape from me.” The collar let out a soft beep and Leo winced. “No trying to take the collar off.” Another wince. “And, other than attacking, absolutely no contact with any other turtles.” What? That wasn’t- he couldn’t just do that. Leo opened his mouth, keen to argue, but Draxum just raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms and waiting.

On second thought, Leo had nothing to say. His hands curled into tight fists.

“Excellent. And now that I have…” Draxum trailed off, pausing. He fixed Leonardo with a puzzled gaze. He leaned closer to Muninn, holding up one hand to loudly whisper to the gargoyle. “What was this one called, again?”

Muninn blinked, turning and glancing at Huginn, who shrugged back at him. “Uh… ha, wow, Boss, wait, you don’t know?” The gargoyle asked, chuckling nervously. “Didn’t you hand pick him, though?”

Draxum’s eyes widened, slightly flustered. “No! Well, yes. But…” All three villains turned and stared at Leo, who crossed his arms as he stared back at them, lifting his chin slightly in a challenge. This guy had been after them long enough to at least know their nicknames, he thought, somehow still finding it within him to be annoyed.

“Wasn’t it… Larry or… Lawrence?” Huginn weakly offered up, but Draxum rested his chin in one hand, thinking.

“No, it wasn’t that. What was it again…” Draxum trailed off, frowning.

Muninn suddenly perked up. “Hey, wait, why don't we ask him? Hey, turtle! What’s your name?” he yelled, and Leo felt one of his eyes twitch. He glanced down at his shock collar, and both gargoyles made little ‘oooooh’ sounds of understanding.

“That’s right, it was Green!” Draxum suddenly said, hitting his fist into the palm of his other hand. He smiled, brushing some of his hair over his shoulder. “I remember now, how silly of me to have forgotten.”

“What? But- but he’s the one wearing blue.” Huginn darted around Leo, pulling at the bandana tails behind his head. It was a light touch, but even just that made Leo sway, his arms having to slightly go forwards as he forced himself to stay standing. He didn’t know if he would be shocked again if he fell, but from the way black dots swam in Leo’s vision, he couldn’t afford to risk it. “I don’t know, Boss, I think his name would be Blue if he’s named after a color.”

“Nonsense, I’m sure of it,” Draxum declared as Leo weakly shooed the gargoyle away from him with one hand. “It was definitely Green. Besides, that’s but a small detail. I could call him whatever I wanted, really. More importantly, we need to decide how to go about making him my ideal warrior before any of the others show up.”

Leo flinched, one hand absently reaching up to rub at the collar. The skin underneath it already felt raw and uncomfortable; he wondered if it was going to leave scars.

He then wondered if he’d ever be able to even see if it had.

“Ooh, why don’t we inject him with some more ooze?” Muninn suggested, clasping both hands together excitedly, wings fluttering as he hopped slightly into the air. “That seems to make everything better! Think of the possibilities: spikes, a tail, and our personal favorite—”

“Fire-breathing!” The two gargoyles sung at the exact same moment.

“A tempting idea, but no,” Draxum said, shaking his head. “Physically speaking, his body is as good as I had hoped for, it’s the rest of it that’s the issue. Respect and obedience should come naturally with the aid of that collar, but as for training techniques…” Draxum circled Leo yet again; was he trying to make him dizzy enough to fall over? “With the level of sheer incompetence that I’ve witnessed, it would take far too long for me to train him myself from scratch. And I don't trust you two to be in charge of it, either…”

“Ouch, Boss,” Muninn said, one hand over his heart. “That really hurts.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Huginn flapped harder, shooting over to Draxum. “We actually know exactly how to do this! I mean, not to flex or anything, but Muninn and I did do our fair share of training in school.”

“Uh,” Muninn stammered, looking lost, but a quick elbow from Huginn and he blinked and also smiled at Draxum. “Yeah, absolutely. So…” he trailed off, shooting his friend a nervous glance.

“What faster way to train someone than to just give them a bunch of experience! You know, the good ole ‘learn as you do’ method!”  Huginn finished with a flourish.

“Hmm, you do have a point,” Draxum considered. He stopped walking. “Surprisingly.”

“Why thank you,” Huginn trilled, bowing.

Draxum’s gaze went back onto Leo, who couldn’t help but shrink away, hands nervously reaching up to hold onto the top of his plastron. “And that gives me the perfect idea…”

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“Draxum!” Raph bellowed, kicking open the door, Mikey and Donnie flanking him on either side. The turtle huffed, glancing around the lab as he searched for his target.

The third name on Donnie’s list had to be it, right? Surely. It had taken them far too long to hunt down the Sando Brothers and force them to tell them anything, and the next yokai they had tried had had similar results. April hadn’t found anything, either, but the pizzas had been paid for so… so…

Ugh! Raph couldn’t put these pieces together right now. He just needed to find his younger brother and save him from whatever mess he had found himself in this time.

There was the sound of slow clapping, and the sheep yokai appeared from around the column of ooze, one gargoyle perched on his right shoulder. “Well, well,” he greeted them, a smile on his face. “It’s quite rare for you turtles to come and seek me out. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Cut the cr—“ Donnie started to say, but Mikey beat him to it, bounding in front of his brothers. Raph almost reached out to pull him back, but he stopped himself; he understood Mikey’s point of view enough that he had also barged in, weapons ready to go.

“Where’s our brother, you creep?” Mikey demanded, his weapon already spinning in his hands.

“Ah,” the yokai replied, blinking at them. The gargoyle snickered softly, and Draxum glanced at it, some message passing between the two of them. “I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The way he said it- it was casual. Too casual. That was suspicious, right? Raph couldn’t possibly be the only one to think so. “You’re lying,” he snarled. “What did you do with Leo?”

The gargoyle perked up, about to say something, but Draxum covered it with one of his hands. “Really,” he said, sounding exasperated. “Whatever you silly children are accusing me of, I don’t have any involvement. Search my lab, if you must, but I’m in the middle of some very important experiments. I’d really rather not fight today; but I will, if you insist. That is,” and the yokai sneered at them, eyes flashing. “If you have that kind of time to waste. Whatever you’re up to, it sounds very... urgent.”

(Chapter Four –>) 

[viktorfm]

(MAXENCE DANET-FAUVEL, NONBINARY) - Have you seen VIKTOR SAMUELS? VIKTOR is in HIS/THEIR SENIOR year. The VISUAL ARTS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say HE/THEY are OBSERVANT, INGENIOUS, RETICENT and DEPENDENT. Rumors say they’re a member of KINCAID. I heard from the gossip blog that THEY'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THEIR THERAPIST. (JAMES. 21. EST. THEY/THEM.)

dont. look at me. i know. anyways if it wasnt obvs i abandoned cupid (n darrow) in order 2 bring the two ocs tht he ws inspired by n ws a combination of bt. theyre better as different ppl methinks.

DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS TW

aesthetic.

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts, graveyards and half-empty wine bottles, sitting there for hours and talking to nothing, about nothing, a god complex, gold rings adorning both hands, barbwire baseball bats, having never played baseball in your life, deep eyebags and broken mirrors, a permanent chip on one’s shoulder, yearning, longing, wishing.

basics.

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - january 2nd, 1996

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′1″

hometown: preaker, vermont

sexuality: pansexual uwu

pinterest

stats

favorite song: disorder, joy division / it’s getting faster, moving faster / now it’s getting out of hand / on the tenth floor, down the back stairs / it’s a no man’s land / lights are flashing, cars are crashing / getting frequent now / i’ve got the spirit, lose the feeling / let it out somehow

background.

born to mama and papa (preacher) samuels in preaker, vermont - fifteen minutes after his twin sister, tatiana samuels. years later, rosa samuels joined the gang.

was an awkward, quiet kid growing up, he didn’t interact well with others and preferred being left alone to dig up worms and draw on the walls of their childhood home. the only exception was his twin, really.

as he got older he grew out of this, but instead became like … sort of an asshole? maybe to compensate for years of childhood awkwardness. he’s the sort of person who will bite the hand that feeds him & developed into a full time nuisance by middle school, unlike tatiana who was much more subtle about her conniving manners.

always has been a fan of ‘darker’ materials. grim & creepy morbid shit. probably the biggest tim burton fan, ever since he was a kid … not a good look for a preacher’s son, but he never really felt ‘in’ with the rest of his family to begin with. classic black sheep syndrome.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid that probably prompted one or two or five phone calls home to assure everything was fine.

just really had a knack for art at a young age, from drawing to painting to playing with clay. it’s always been his thing and probably is the only thing he’s good at.

being twins with tatiana was hard. they were near opposite besides both being quite mean-spirited. tatiana handled being in public better, left a better image behind - but viktor had talent, more than she did. they loved each other deeply - y’know, those unbreakable twin bonds as cliche as it sounds - but found each other as competition for their parents’ attention. a rivalry for affection.

in high school is when viktor really started to act out. it started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service & almost had an exorcism performed on him.

his only redeemable trait was like … just his sheer talent in the arts. was in a 3d art ap course and specialized in sculptures. he could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because he was the problem child, the one who deserved to be disciplined for all his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with whatever she wanted much easier. on the bright-side, for her, i guess.

not a very motivated person - wasn’t planning on going to college, much less going to yates but his parents literally wrote & sent his college application for him because they weren’t going to house a deadbeat but had too much heart to kick him out onto the streets. cool!

he’s actually pretty smart but he just doesn’t apply himself. has a minor in english because he didn’t care for an extra course-load, but he’s good at writing & analyzing literature. is going to use it to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s. not for the kids, but because he likes to leave a trail of terror in whatever he does.

has been experimenting with himself since high school but college is where he really had started to crack down on himself. was out as pansexual & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college just … not to his parents, who don’t really need to know.

if you asked him if he believed in twins having a psychic connection with each other - he’d tell you he wouldn’t know. it felt believable at times, but sometimes he had no idea what was going on inside of tatiana’as head. on the other hand - viktor had always felt oddly transparent to her, like she knew all of his moves before he did. the only person who could predict him accurately.

( tw death, grief, overdose / hospitalization beyond this point )

when tatiana disappeared, viktor knew something was up. it was a twist in his gut, pure instinct that something wasn’t right. and it wasn’t right - and when she was proclaimed missing, they couldn’t find her.

and when tatiana died - viktor knew. it felt wrong, something cut so severely in him he could pinpoint her death to the second. he didn’t know how, or why, but he knew it. knew it before anybody else had.

afterwards he went on a sort of bender. he’d begun to struggle with a mild drug addiction late senior year of high school / early college, but he was managing it up until this point.

his mental health had also sunk to an all-time low, when it’d never been great to begin with. (manic & depressive episodes. once fixated on a sculpting project for six months and then knocked it off the table and destroyed it as soon as he finished it for no apparent reason.)

tatiana’s body wasn’t found immediately, and when it was … viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing & being hospitalized. spent six months in & out of psychiatric care after that.

came back to yates to finish his senior year because … for the reasons above, he hadn’t been able to complete it. just wants to get his credits and get out of here.

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief - causes him to spiral and be unpredictable in regards of his mental health. he stopped taking his medication, so. :/ some days are alright, other days are pretty bad.

personality & facts.

the human embodiment of a gremlin that was fed after midnight. a goblin, if you will. one of those cats with a narrow head and really big ears … that’s them!

a big horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies & probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than they should because they just … love those black & white vertical-striped pants.

can appreciate the ~urban legends~ at yates and likes to feed into the fear that surrounds them. is probably the cause of a few ‘anomalies’ and ‘paranormal sightings’ because they’re just … a jerk.

fashion alternates between e-boy (they would be tiktok famous if they were 17 & didn’t think that a majorly minor based app was weird.), millennial beetlejuice, and goth in a crop top & sweatpants. big fan of crop tops and a big fan of sweatpants.

they can be really fucking mean? petty, aggressive, a major instigator. will literally spit in your face for little to no reason, you could just look at them the wrong way. the kind of person who will stick their gum into someone else’s hair. other than that? they’re like … sort of okay. they’re not always mean, just a dick about 90% of the time lmao

like okay yeah they’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except they feel like it and believes it. it’s fine, they’re fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact that they’re probably getting into a fight whenever, considers themself to be a lover and not a fighter but that’a primarily because they fuck a lot. uses it as a coping mechanism, like they’re this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ and it’s … a lot. might have a problem with hypsersexuality but they’re not fully aware of it.

the preacher’s whore son, basically :)

pansexual & nonbinary, switches between he & they pronouns often and without a pattern, but they have such a fragile grip on their identity that you could call them ‘dog-faced bitch’ and they’d turn around like. sup.

vastly impulsive … like i said, they destroy their own creations for the fun of it. spends all their money on useless shit, will cheat on someone because they feel like it & likes the thrill, screams into the night sky frequently like a cat in heat.

will also spend months creating useless shit for no reason too. spent six of them sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of them & then took a sledgehammer to it.

they’re very super dramatic. would play the organ at church when nobody was looking after them and service was about to start. would just churn out these super haunting, creepy melodies like they were phantom of the opera. would do the same exact thing at home on their keyboard with the pipe organ setting whenever they got grounded until their parents took it away hbdsjfngkh

will absolutely not talk about their ‘time away’ because it’s not anyone’s business, not even their own younger sister. still refuses to talk about tatiana’s death, or their mental health, or their addiction (fallen back into it but it hasn’t gotten severe … yet :/), or anything involving their own emotions.

will just change the topic abruptly, no warning. asks about the jonas brothers instead and they fucking hate the jonas brothers.

that being said they’re absolutely not over tatiana’s death & it’s to the point of obsession over it. like there’s some kind of secret that needs to be uncovered, even though there just. isn’t. tatiana was their rock and they were pretty much dependent on her. kept them grounded. could control them when nobody else could, got into their head easier than others. it’s sort of like rosa lost two siblings that day because viktor hasn’t been the same since.

emotionally unavailable while also crying twice a day. cries during their brawls but still wins. is stony-faced when they tell you they cheated on you with your much hotter best friend.

will tell you straight up what they want from you, no bullshit & no beating around the bush. just blunt. if they want to fuck, nothing else, then that’s it. if they feel deviation or developing feelings then they’ll ghost in less than a second. is awful like that but feels no shame.

but also emotional as shit and it’s confusing. will cry on a whim and then flip you off if you try to console them or ask them what’s up. will bite you.

they go to therapy but they just fuck around and wastes their therapists’ time … also is fucking their therapist, but that’s neither here nor there. so they’re not really getting the help they need.

likes to be intimidating but not … with their body or anything because they’re a twig but uses their love & knowledge of horror and creepy shit to their advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before (also is a big fan of sfx makeup & has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids around with a chainsaw without the chain on halloween every year.

generally never doing good, both mental health wise & morally. would probably steal candy from a baby for funsies.

i don’t know if there’s a good to them somewhere deep down, but they don’t see any issues with themself either. nothing really breaks through to them anymore because the only person who ever made them stop and think about their actions was tatiana, and well, y’know. :/

an introverted reclusive type who doesn’t like most people or going out, but does so anyway if it means a quick high & a cheap thrill.

pretty observant and likes to analyze people even though they’re often like … partially wrong. judgmental because they like to make people feel bad, not because they’re a righteous mighty person. because they’re not. so like, a hypocrite!

wanted connections.

religious trauma? oh worm ;; three cheers fr <3 guilt <3 anyways uh. just people tht viktor hs known thru the church in some way even tho hes a fkn. freak now. maybe even family friends. 

the horror of our love :/ ;; hmm. any romance tht cld b toxic i think this cld fit. just rly a bad fit. viktor doesnt rly know hw to love so nothing rly lasts bt. maybe they try n try n nothing works bt they keep trying. cld also just be anything unrequited.

little fkn gremlins ;; theyre all evil n mean. bt theyre all friends. <3 

you are nothing ;; uuh. enemy plots. spicy enemies. rly bad enemies. rivals. they r brutal towards each other bcos nothing viktor does is ever soft.

fuck u dont pity me ;; uh. people who try to get close to viktor n he just. bites at them. he’s like no. bc he assumes ppl who r kind in response 2 his vileness r. theres smth wrong w them. n it might hv to do with pity. n he hates pity.

ugh. locals x ;; ppl who also grew up around preaker, vermont. the samuels r <3 well known folks n the uh. hm. the murder is an ongoing case. so they cld know abt it <3

dont tell anybody x ;; this is for soft plots. i dont know much about soft plots but. 

maybe i am part of the problem ;; the problem is chlamydiagate. this is a hook-ups connection. fwbs n one night stands. ppl viktor hs brutally ghosted. he doesnt acknowledge their existence outside of these events, perhaps. 

dont u just wna go apeshit ;; this is where viktor becomes a bad influence.

bt uh. anything. pelase

[etherealwaifgoddess]

Somewhere Only We Know

Main Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Since joining the Avengers you can’t seem to get any alone time with Bucky. You take matters into your own hands and find a creative solution to get the handsome super soldier back in your arms.

Warnings/ Content: Referenced sex. It’s all off screen and nothing is blatantly stated. 

Dialogue prompt: “Pleeeeaaase, can we just step away for a little bit? I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” 

Word Count: 1.5k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! This is my little entry for Lani’s 3rd Mysterious Writing Challenge for the oh-so-talented @propertyofpoeandbucky. She’s amazing ya’ll. If you haven’t read anything by her yet I *highly* recommend you go take a look at her stuff. I hope you enjoy this Lani!! Thank you for hosting such a fun challenge :) 

Somewhere Only We Know

(title from the song by Keane)

It wasn’t often you had time alone with Bucky. If it was up to the universe, you’d have none at all. Since joining the Avengers you found yourself constantly surrounded by various members of the eclectic group. Whether you were on missions or just lounging around the tower on your day off, there was always someone, most times multiple someones, around. It was like living in a college dorm all over again, and that was not an experience you were happy to repeat. Especially while you were trying to flirt with a certain centenarian ex-assassin. 

You’d had one blissful week together when Bucky came to recruit you. He’d found you in a crappy motel outside Philadelphia, hiding out after your powers had manifested on live TV in an almost horrific incident at a NFL game. A bomb had gone off during half time and you managed to get a protective force field around it in time for the bomb to implode inside the bubble without harming anyone. Of course, a girl with purple energy flowing around her who was able to save thousands of lives garnered a lot of attention from both the good guys and the bad ones. You had been on the run for two weeks when Bucky finally caught up with you. 

You were his first recruitment mission and he was determined to bring you in to join the team. You weren’t certain about being an Avenger but you were sure about getting him in bed. The super soldier’s thighs gave you a brand new appreciation of the word thicc. You’d spent the next six days enjoying each other’s company until Steve showed up, thinking he could help Bucky convince you to come back with them. You had never seen someone blush so hard their ears turned red. Steve was blessedly oblivious and you returned with them the next day.

After you returned to the tower with the guys your life had been a blur of training and practice. Bucky and you both agreed to keep what had happened to yourselves, not wanting it to potentially impact your ability to join the Avengers. You sparred with Nat, learned marksmanship from Clint, practiced controlling your powers with Wanda, jogged with Steve and Sam, and picked up a little basic first aid from Bruce. You knew it was important to be learning all that you could, to get yourself ready for the inevitable first mission, but you still missed Bucky. You’d barely get ten minutes alone with him at a time, never quite enough to make good use of it. 

It was a month into your training when you’d hit your limit. Bucky was too shy to slip off to your room at night, he was still sharing an apartment with Steve and his absence would be obvious. You started looking for out of the way places you might be able to slip off to unnoticed together. There were a few regular times that your day intersected with Bucky’s so you strategized when you would be able to make your move. You just hoped Bucky was still interested. Though the way he’d had to excuse himself last week when your shirt rode up while sparring with Nat seemed to indicate he was. 

You were cleaning up the kitchen after lunch, packing away the last of the leftovers, when Bucky walked into the room. He was still sweaty from his workout and the sight of his grey joggers riding low on his hips made your mouth go dry. It was now or never. “Hey Buck.” you greeted him with a welcoming smile. 

“Hey, Y/N. Are there any sandwiches left?” he asked while refilling his water bottle from the tap on the fridge.

“There are, or I could go show you the new wing of the bionics lab they’re building.” 

“What? I thought they’d stopped construction on that until Spring?”

“They did. But you see, it’s all the way up on the twenty second floor and no one ever goes up there.”

“Then why would we… oh.” Bucky’s eyes widened as he realized what you were implying. 

“Oh.” you echoed, nodding your head. “So what are you more hungry for, Barnes? The sandwich, or me?” 

Bucky blinked a moment at your blatant proposition before his brain got on board and you raced to the elevators. 

It became a habit, meeting up in the abandoned construction of what would eventually be an extension of Stark’s bionics lab. It was always frantic, heated, and absolutely amazing. You were dreading Spring’s arrival when you’d lose your hideaway. Hopefully by then your relationship would be able to be public. 

After an agonizingly long mission away, Bucky returned to the tower, tac gear covered in grime and still reeking of smoke. The second you locked eyes on him, you desperately wanted to get him alone. You wanted to help ease the tension in his shoulders and sadness in his eyes, take his mind off of whatever he had endured for a little while. 

Everyone was gathered in the common room while Tony gave a mission report to the rest of the team. It wasn’t ideal but you were undeterred. 

“Hey.” you whispered quietly to Bucky, knowing his super soldier hearing would pick up your words.

“Hiya, doll.” he answered, making sure his voice was just loud enough for you, and you alone, to hear.

“Wanna go up to our spot? They’ll never miss us.” 

“We should hang around ‘til Stark is done.” he whispered with a frown.

“Pleeeeaaase, can we just step away for a little bit? I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” you begged, “We’ll be quick, they won’t even notice we’re gone.” 

Bucky sighed and you could tell he was relenting. 

You were exiting the elevators, ready to slip back into the common room unnoticed barely twenty minutes later. Tony’s debrief meetings were usually an hour, so you should have still had plenty of time. Bucky went first, phantom silent as he slid back to his place along the back wall of the room. You waited a heart beat before making your way back to your spot next to him. It should have been perfect, you had practiced your stealth moves with Nat and were getting pretty damn good. Unfortunately your best laid plans were all taken down by a chip. 

Clint had helped himself to a bag of potato chips from the snack bowl and he crunched into one loudly right as you appeared in the doorway. Everyone’s eyes snapped over to the source of the sound and saw your attempted sneaking in the background. It might not have been too suspicious if it weren’t for the smudge of soot on your neck and your deer in the headlights expression. The fact that you’d buttoned two of your blouse buttons wrong in your hurry was just icing on the cake. Bucky’s eyes widened in silent panic as he realized you were busted and he stayed frozen in place as you laughed nervously, eyes scanning the shocked expressions of your team mates. 

Finally, Tony cleared his throat. “Wow. Robo Cop and our own little Glow Worm.” he shook his head in amused disbelief, “Good job, Glow Worm. Robo Cop, don’t make me give you the shovel talk, capiche? Now, let’s get back to work.” 

Everyone else was too stunned to comment so you just slunk back to your spot next to Bucky. “So much for discrete.” you whispered with an apologetic smile. 

“It was inevitable.” he shrugged.

“At least we won’t have to sneak upstairs to fool around now.” 

“I don’t know, doll. I kinda like having somewhere only we know.” 

“Love birds!” Tony shouted, startling you both. “Do you want to pay attention to the class, or do you want to go back upstairs and keep defiling my almost-lab?” 

The two of you cringed in unison. 

“So much for that.” you chuckle quietly, nudging Bucky in the ribs. “Sorry Tony!” you shout back.

“Wait? What!? Were you really? I was just taking a stab in the dark there. Oh god, my new lab! FRIDAY, get a hazmat crew up to the twenty second floor, stat! And you two. Ohhh you, two. Please, I beg of you. Go make use of one of the many beds we have here at Avengers Tower, preferably your own.” 

Bucky blushed fiercely, his ears adorably on fire.

“I don’t want to see either one of you until noon tomorrow at the earliest. Go on now, shoo.” Tony waved his hands at you dismissively. 

“The boss said so.” you shrugged at Bucky with a flirty smile. 

Bucky grinned wolfishly at you, “Orders are orders.” he said before scooping you up in his arms. 

You let out a little squeak as Bucky carried you off and you could hear Tony resuming his debriefing in the distance. It wasn’t the most ideal way for the team to find out, but somehow you couldn’t seem to mind at all. 

[phoenotopia]

2020 March Update

Happy New Year! Well, I guess it's a bit late for that...

Much of what transpired in the past few months will fall under polish and bug-fixing. Will and I have a mutual friend who got married, so I had the occasion to visit Will to attend the wedding as well as have Will playtest the game in its most complete form yet. He logged 24 hours of playtime and just reached the entrance of the final dungeon. Then we had to call in for the night since it was 5 AM, and I had a flight to catch in the morning.

His completion rate where we stopped was 42% of Heart Pieces, 33% of Energy Gems, and 44% of Moonstones. So... I think we have a pretty lengthy game!

This will take a while to playtest & polish... Will's daytime profession is QA Engineer so he's pretty great at catching bugs. From his playtest, we jotted down 200+ items to fix/adjust. Some as small as a simple misspelling, and some more significant (like Gail being unable to jump when standing at the edge of a steep slope). I'm about half-way through fixing that list...

(Will’s living room where much playtesting was done)

Here are some other things we've accomplished in the past few months. A lot of it falls under polish and bug-fixing, which won't sound outwardly impressive, so I'll dive in a bit under the hood.

-------------------------- Item Balancing --------------------------

There are over 200 items in the game. Of which, 90+ are healing items. While much of their flavor text was already written, their stats weren't yet finally decided. So a large effort was spent to balance them as well as possible. Initially, I balanced items by observation (ex: "The player is relying on this item a lot, so I will nerf it...") Now, I've moved to a more systematic way of doing things. I made an equation that takes in all of an item's parameters, and spits out a score. The higher an item heals, the higher the score. The longer an item takes to consume, the lower the score. And so forth.

As usual, I used google spreadsheets, since they support equations. I could tweak the values of a healing item, and immediately see how its final score was affected. I also made use of automatic color formatting, so a field becomes highlighted red, if it's particularly bad, or green, if it's particularly good. Of course, the sheet is just a guideline. The aim wasn't to make all items have the same final score, but that they made sense for what they were and when you could get them. Late-game items tend to have higher overall scores versus early-game items. Some items, like doggy biscuits, have notoriously low scores across the board - as a joke!

-------------------------- Cooking Systems --------------------------

Another thing that had to be done with the healing items was finally determine their cooking sequences. 38 healing items could be cooked and will transform into something else. The way I specified that an item could be cooked was to add a a little snippet to an item's "meta data". An example would look something like, "COOK,57,62,ABXY,10,1.5,1".

In order, this specified the item_ID that would result on success (57), the item_ID that would result on failure (62), the button sequence (ABXY), the time you had to complete the sequence (10 seconds), how quickly the cursor should move (1.5x speed), and if the item multiplied on success (1). The system appears simple enough - but it was actually extremely inefficient!

For one, this system didn't allow random button sequences - all "berry fruits", when cooked would have the same button prompts and in the same order every time (ABXY). Initially, I thought having set button sequences would be a feature, but in practice, it was less fun. 

Two, this system wasn't human-readable at all. I'd see a sequence of numbers, forget what they were, and have to look them up over and over.

But the biggest problem was that you couldn't evaluate an item's cooking difficulty from these numbers without manual testing. At 1.5 cursor speed, how many times does the cursor pass the center panel in 10 seconds? Maybe that's 15 times... for a 4 button sequence, the player has 11 opportunities to miss - that's too wide a berth for failure. The system also had variable penalties - if you misspressed a button prompt you loss time on the cooking meter. If you didn't press anything, you missed the opportunity, but not the time - but the clock was still ticking, so you did lose time, just not as much. In the end, the difficulty of cooking each item was all over the place. It was also possible to create "unwinnable" scenarios if I made the button sequence too long, the time too short, or the cursor speed too slow. Testing each item manually to ensure doability was too tedious and unreliable - it was a mess!

Which is why, the underlying cooking system was revamped. The new meta data looks like : "COOK,57,62,seq_length,5,spd,1.5,ease_add,2". This is a lot more readable. Beyond the first 3 entries, the arguments could be specified in any order. And their meanings were easy to understand.

"seq_length,5" means a random button sequence of 5 will be generated (no need for me to personally generate it)

"spd,1.5" means the cursor moves at 1.5x speed. I could also leave this field out to get a default value of 1x cursor speed.

"ease_add,2" - the biggest improvement to the system is how we now approach difficulty. We streamlined a miss-press and a missed opportunity as the same level of "mistake", and difficulty is framed as, "how many mistakes is the player allowed to make and still have a successful result?" By default, the player is afforded the ability to make 2 mistakes, and "ease_add,2" bumps the number of allowable mistakes to 4. We then automatically calculate how much "time" the player should have to cook something based on its cursor speed, how long the button sequence is, and how many mistakes the player is allowed to make. This was a more sensible and efficient system that let me knock out all 38 healing item cook sequences in one sitting!

-------------------------- Badges Nearly Done --------------------------

As you may recall from the last update, I was working on implementing the badges.

Thinking up the badge and having its graphic drawn is just the first half. Underneath, the code also needs to be made to track all the relevant player stats - how many times the player fished, ate, got money, used a certain move, etc. Some badges require extra guards, because they can be spoofed. For instance, the "Treasure Hunter" badge is obtained when the player has collected XXXX RIN through the course of your journey. However, there is something like a "gold exchange" in the game, where you could circularly trade gold and RIN to boost this number artificially. It's important to guard against cases like those.

So far, 30 of 33 badges are implemented. The last three have to do with late-game things that have inter-dependencies that we're still figuring out. The Speed running badge for instance is still dependent on two things. One, I need to speed run the game a few times to see how fast it's possible to beat the game and decide finally what's a reasonable time-limit. Two, there's actually a time-keeping bug which can inflate the game time if the system is left in sleep mode. I don't expect either things will be too hard to figure out - just gotta find the time for it.

-------------------------- Script Extra Polished --------------------------

We continued to polish the script, which I thought was basically done before. We added some extra NPCs here and there, and fleshed out the world with lore text where it seemed appropriate. In the end, the game's script ballooned to over 100,000 words! Hah... It's definitely DONE now however!

Some interesting things I noted as I was polishing old text - there were quite a few instances where Gail talks. I began the game's development with the idea that Gail should definitely talk since I wanted her to be a more active participant in what she chose to do. But I discovered later that if Gail talks, but only talked a little, she comes off as a very reticent person. There's no middle lane here - you're either all in or all out.

If Gail was a silent protagonist, she still talked symbolically. She is understood to be talking based on how people react to her - kinda like Link. So that's the direction I went with in the end (again). When Gail has occasion to talk, it comes in the form of a player dialogue choice. She also has an inner voice when she needs to remind the player to do something.

Another reason I went with this direction, is for brevity. Take this exchange for instance: QUEST GIVER : Can you help me find this super rare ingredient? GAIL : Maybe. I can't make any promises...

If Gail is silent, I can reduce those 2 lines to 1. QUEST GIVER : Can you help me find this super rare ingredient? GAIL : ...

-------------------------- Business Taxes --------------------------

Not too exciting, but new year means I gotta do taxes for the business. They're a lot more complicated than personal taxes, and more expensive! Since the game hasn't sold anything, you would think there'd be nothing to file. Hah! If only... The business is there so we can act as a legal entity and record expenses for when we do start selling. I really want to focus on making games, but there’s a small percentage of it that is sometimes boring and dreadful (-_-) ... still it needs to be done.

------------- Why no Public Beta Testing? -------------

As you may have noticed, I haven't put out any public calls for testing help despite being at that stage. Some have offered to help, which I appreciate! But sadly, I cannot accept. Here's the story for that.

Two and a half years ago, I got my hands on a console dev kit - that's very exciting, so I hurriedly took the steps to convert my dev station to be console-capable. After about two weeks, I had the console version working and integrated into my workflow, so all appeared good...

4 Months later, an artist needed an updated PC build to test some new art assets, so I went to build a new PC version. We use Unity, so generally you just need to click your desired build target, and hit "build". However, I now discovered that by attaching the console "hooks" into my work environment, I could no longer build to PC... It was possible, from my end, to test the game from the dev station in dev mode, which was why it went undiscovered for so long.

I did try to excise the hooks, but proved unsuccessful after a day of work. I decided to take this as an opportunity to focus exclusively on the console version first, which afforded me some niceties. Knowing that there's a standardized control scheme meant I could make full use of the control stick for the fishing mini-game. I also didn't need to create a rebindable keys menu - which is a MUST for PC versions... Most importantly, it lets me focus on making the one version as good as possible before moving onto the next. I have NO idea how those other guys release on all platforms at once...

Chalk it up to inexperience. In my defense, this will be my first commercial release, so bear with me. Don't worry, I still plan to make the PC version! It's a bit unconventional, but we're just going to go in the reverse direction of the usual. Console first, then PC, then other consoles. Wherever it makes financial sense, there we will be. (Sorry Ouya!)

Back to the original question - that's why I haven't sent out any public calls for playtesting. Current playable builds of the game are locked to my console dev kit. So actual playtesting unfolds in a very closed setting. Like what I did with Will, I literally sit behind the playtester, breathe down their neck, and watch them play, taking notes all the while.

But since I'm observing the player directly, even just one playthrough nets me a TON of bugs and adjustment tasks. So it evens out I think.

-------------------------- Trailers, Release Dates, etc. --------------------------

Alright, get your frowns ready...

We finished two trailers, and they're raring to go. BUT! We can't show them yet... We're sort of at an awkward spot where we're waiting on some conversational threads to conclude. Say we win a slot in a show - that'd be a HUGE plus for us - but that may also be contingent on us having NOT shown anything substantial yet. The game in its unrevealed state is a negotiating chip. So we're trying to leverage that... and you can only do the reveal once...

We also want to have some "actionable" items in the trailer - a launch date you could mark on your calendar, a wishlist, a website you can visit, etc. So since those things aren't entirely lined up yet, we can't let the trailers rip just yet...

Right now, I can only say we're *aiming* for a late Q2/early Q3 launch. But I can't commit to anything concrete yet. As soon as we know, we'll happily sing it from the rooftops. I hope I can update this blog sooner with good news, but if things move slowly again, I'll send out the next "we're alive" update 2 months from now (end of April).

I know it's frustrating to have nothing major after so long still, so I captured some gameplay footage... May it sate your hungers!

-------------------------- Footage 1 : Fishing --------------------------

You've seen pictures of the fishing, but never video of it in action. Well, here it is!

(And right after I uploaded the video, I noticed there actually was a video of fishing before. D’oh)

The idea is simple. First, get the lure in front of a fish, and assuming the fish isn't scared, it will soon bite. Then begins a fight sequence, where your energy meter is pitted against the fish's energy meter. Whoever's energy outlasts the other's wins.

The fish's resistance is represented by a red moving circular subsection. You fight the fish by pushing the control stick and keeping it on the subsection, which will dart around and try to escape you. Bigger and tougher variants of fish will do a "shake" which will reverse the wheel. When the wheel is reversed, so too are the controls, so it gets extra tricky!

While fishing, your energy meter doesn't recover, so one of the ways you level up your fishing ability is by finding energy gems to increase your max energy. There's another way - but we'll keep that a secret.

-------------- Footage 2 : Kobold Boss Fight --------------

You can actually skip the next section if you'd prefer to be surprised and you find your hunger for info sated. That's how I prefer to consume the games that I know I'm going to get. If you're still hungering for info, and you don't mind the slight spoilers, then feel free to proceed!

The next video shows the new Kobold Boss fight. Let's take a moment to reflect on the old game's visuals and how far it's come...

(we've come a long way since the time of the flash game)

You'll notice the Kobold boss has a name now - Katash! He's a significant enough character that he's earned it. The second thing you'll notice is that he looks better!

Some people have humorously pointed out that the old boss looks like Wolf O'Donnel from Star Fox. There's a funny story behind that. Basically I asked an artist to draw me a space wolf. And the artist, whom I'm assuming wasn't familiar with Wolf O'Donnel, drew that - all of it - all the animations and everything. The first time I laid eyes on it, it was already done, so it was too late to ask for edits. So I just ran with it.

That was seven years ago. Nowadays, I know to involve myself more in the process. I ask for just the design first, and we don't move forward with animations until we're happy with the design. Life lessons!

By the way, if you like Katash’s personal boss theme, give it a lesson on Will's Sound cloud (LINK)

-------------------------- Fan Arts -------------------------- Lots of fan art came in over the past 3 months!

This one is a pixel animation made by Pimez, and shows Gail singing a Christmas carol in various parts of the game. So cute! Years ago, I too was making little animated gifs for my favorite games, so it really brings me back!

This one was made by cARTographer (twitter link) after a request by Deli_mage, so thank you both. Gail rocking stylish boots with a pose that shows confidence in her batting skills. Very anime - Love it!

Another submission of laptekosz of the Last Song of Earth area. Whereas the last picture depicted the night sky, now the orange trees are lit by a rising sun. Artfully done! Kinda makes me want to eat eggs. I hope you'll like the new Last Song of Earth area just as much :D

A new artist to the scene, Not_Quin, submitted two pictures, one of Gail and one of the Sand Drake re-imagined as a centipede. I'm always a fan of these re-imaginings! I like how it's spiky all over and appears to be wearing a skull mask. The Sand Drake is often pointed out to be too similar to Zelda's Dodongos, so maybe a long slithery body would have indeed served better. Fun fact, long ago, when we were working on Phoenotopia 2 in earnest, we actually had a giant man-eating worm planned - WIP animation depicted below. One day... one day...

Negativus Core made two cool new arts! I'm really impressed by their use of unique perspective! Having characters run towards the screen or reaching close to the screen from afar is tricky since the proportions get all distorted - but not an issue for Negativus Core! Love the blur on Gail to show speed, with 66 in focus - really skillfully done! And the cube. Amazing!

--------------------------

I'm really honored by the huge fan art community. Thank you all! 

[brynwrites]

Let’s Talk about Querying!

(And why I stopped querying my novel.)

As some of you know, I was querying Iron From Fire on and off from March through May, and I recently decided to quit, despite it being overall a good story written in what one editor described as ‘on par’ for the genre.

And I think it’s important to talk about the process I went through, because my ill preparation hurt my mental health a lot, and you all deserve to know how to avoid the same fate.

First, this is the general process of querying, in case anyone is unfamiliar:

You finish the manuscript. And I mean finish it. Beta rounds, line edits, formatting, the whole nine yards.

You write the query letter. This includes a blurb meant to draw the agent in, a paragraph with stats and the names of a couple contemporary books that resemble yours, and a short bio about your previous book-related experience.

You send the query letter to a bunch of agents. A positive request rate right now is somewhere around 6 or 7%, which means if you have a stellar manuscript then 7% of the agents you query will want to read more of it to see if they’re willing to represent you.

You receive a mixture of rejections and requests, with a lot of silence in between. Most rejections are form rejections so you have no idea why they didn’t like your manuscript. Some requests turn into delayed form rejections. Everything hurts.

You either get an agent who signs you or you decide to quit. If you have a book you think will sell and are having positive responses from agents, the general rule of thumb is to keep querying until you’ve sent a letter to every agent you’d be interested in working with. This can mean anywhere from 30 to 130 agents.

Putting the rest under the cut.

Keep reading for:

Why I quit.

The things I learned from querying.

What I would have done differently if I’d known better.

[While this has some rather personal mental health things, please feel free to reblog it so other writers can learn from my experience!]

Why I quit querying.

This is going to get personal for a hot second so bare with me.

I was querying the first novel in an adult fantasy trilogy I had worked on for over seven years. All the work from the first five years had been trashed three years before, and the rough draft I built the final manuscript on was rewritten three times after, so the actual story itself was only a couple years old, but I had the emotional attachment of seven years of love and heartache.

This being a trilogy, I had already written the second book and poured a lot of energy into the third book’s brainstorming by the time I fully finished the first manuscript. So not only was there over seven years of emotional attachment, but nearly 300k words of fairly decent story written in the series.

I hit a bunch of road blocks right when I first began querying: 

My story, while it had all the things a query needs like stakes and conflict, was very hard to break down to a 200 word blurb.

The blurb I did end up with, no matter how I wrote it, sounded like a rather traditional fantasy plot, despite the story itself going places I’ve yet to read about in any other book.

I could not find contemporaries (books published recently which have elements similar to mine) to save my life, to the point where I was scrambling to read new books in hopes something would appear.

Most agents ask for the first five or ten pages, and I have fifteen pages of status quo before I got to the real plot, so that meant most agents would never even see the story I had outlined in my blurb.

On top of all that, I had a book which went a little over the word count most agents seek for a debut novel in its genre and it wasn’t even a standalone.

Those things compiled were a mess, and they should have clued me in that this wasn’t a book that would be worth the effort of selling as a debut. But this wasn’t what did me in. These things alone I might have been overcome by sheer determination. So why did I quit, then?

I stopped querying my manuscript because I realized I wasn’t just querying a manuscript, I was querying my baby.

I had put all seven years and many rewrites and an entire sequel I loved more than life on the line for this sale, and it fucked me over like a moon-sized meteor fucks over a planet.

My mental health, which I’d finally gotten under control after almost a decade of chronic depression and anxiety, plummeted back to levels it hadn’t reached in years. I hated everything I wrote. I cried over my writing. I cried over things that had nothing to do with writing. I became very negative and angry with my friends. Everyone else’s success felt like my personal failure. I began tipping into the realm of suicidal idealization.

That was what finally broke me; the knowledge that I’d been happy with my life, exactly as it was before I started querying, and now I suddenly didn’t find it worth living despite the query process being the only thing I’d added.

I adored and despised my manuscript in equal parts. I’d thought the mounds of critique I’d gotten for it in the past would make it easier for me to handle the rejections because I’d handled them all before from beta readers, and that the time between writing it and querying it would provide distance. It didn’t. 

It turned this manuscript into the single part of my life I’d poured the most love and attention and frustration into, more then college degrees and individual relationships and work; even more than the book I’d already indie published. And setting that out for agents to reject at their whims was not healthy for me.

Once I looked that in the face, I realized something else as well: I didn’t want this book to be my debut.

The story was publishable, yes, but it had a funky structure I had reworked countless times just to make bearable, and the second book was the real gem of the series.

The writing was adequate, but it was also kind of bland compared to the style it’d developed since I’d written it. I preferred the style I was currently writing in and I wanted to sell that instead.

I really, really didn’t want to edit this book again for an agent or an editor. I’d poured so much energy into it already and I was sick: sick with love, sick with hate. Every edit I had made through the querying process had been wrapped in a mixture of forced disinterest and panicky dependence, and that was not the way I wanted to feel when I edited my debut for traditional publishing.

And this is not to say that Iron From Fire and its trilogy will never sell, or that no one would want to read it if it did. I’m shelving it, not throwing it out. But sometimes we have to admit to ourselves that it’s not the right time, and let a project go for a while, especially when its the one project we don’t want to let go.

Things I’ve Learned.

I’m prefacing this with the note that there are exceptions to every rule. None of these things will stop you from getting an agent or selling a manuscript, it’ll just make it harder to do so. And querying is hard enough without stacking the cards against yourself.

These are a mixture of experience and things I’ve seen agents talk about at length.

1. Word count is important. 

It’s common knowledge that there are word count guidelines, but when most of the books on your shelf vary (sometimes drastically) from those guidelines, do they really matter? The fucking do. Agents will see too high word count and assume straight off that you don’t know how to create a streamline story and have wandering plot threads or useless scenes, and they’ll see a too low word count and assume you didn’t explore your world building and character development properly.

It you want to increase your chances of selling a manuscript, write it within the suggested word count guidelines.

2. Make your manuscript a solid, wonderful standalone.

You’ll hear ‘standalone with series potential’ thrown around a lot. This means you should have a first book which ends in a place that readers can feel satisfied permanently walking away from, but which doesn’t tie up so many threads that another story can’t come after it.

Less brought up but equally important is this: if you do have series potential, the rest of your series can’t be the better part of it. You aren’t selling a series, you’re selling a first book, so that first book must be able to stand for itself and say that it’s fantastic and more than worth reading on its own. It’s can’t be a gateway to a better book. It must already be the best book you can write.

3. If you have potential sequels, don’t write them yet.

From a writer’s perspective this is bad because it puts more of your soul into the series, and when it comes time to offer that part of your soul up to agents and editors, you want it to be as small as possible. Having six months of work rejected hurts. Having six years of work rejected kills. Be kind to yourself.

This is also bad from an agent’s perspective! Agents are looking for career oriented writers (even if that career is part time), who will write other books, with other plots and other characters, so if they sell your first book and its sales are mediocre they know they’ll have another chance with you on a different project. If you seem to be stuck in one world or series, that hinders their ability to market you as a writer.

3. Your first five pages are everything.

Five to ten pages is all most agents will ever see of your book. This is a lot less than many readers will read before putting a book down. Even if you’ve structured your opening to attract readers, it may not be fit enough to attract agents.

The first 2500 words of your manuscript should:

Display a clear narrative voice.

Introduce the world building and setting you described in your query with little to no exposition.

Introduce the main character’s personality and goals as described in your query with no exposition.

Show the main character doing the things you said they do in your query.

Show the inciting event you described in your query.

Show or at least hint at how the conflicts you described in your query will come to pass.

This is not always something you can edit into your manuscript at the last minute, so structuring your project this way up front is very helpful. If you can’t hit all these points with your story no matter how you rework it, you might want to consider querying a different project instead.

4. Young Adult is a harder sell.

The market is drenched in YA manuscripts. This doesn’t mean no one should write them, but if you don’t have a good reason why the story works best a YA (ie, it has themes targeted toward teenagers) then it might be worthwhile to adjust it to be MG and or adult (but not New Adult! NA is also a hard sell, because there are few editors actually buying it.)

5. The market matters.

On that note, it’s incredibly important to know what’s going on in the publishing market before you query. 

What types of books are selling? 

Is your manuscript a good twist on ideas, themes, or tones present in popular books from the last few years?

Does your manuscript align with what agents are asking for in their manuscript wishlists?

Is your writing style on par with the books what made decent sales in the last few years in your genre and target audience?

When you condense your story down to a few sentences, do you have a pitch that’s both unique and references popular contemporary stories?

In order to sell a book through traditional publishing, you have to first find an agent who falls in love with the book and has an immediate idea of how to sell it, and then have them find an editor who also falls in love with it and knows they and their marketing team can market it well.

Good writing makes a good book, but it’s the marketing which sells the book. If you don’t have a way to market your book in the current market, it’s not likely anyone else will.

What I would have done differently.

The top three things I would have changed if I had known what I know now.

1. Wrote the query letter earlier.

Writing the query letter as I wrote the manuscript would’ve helped me reformat the structure of the story up front. It would also have eliminated the desperate rewrites I did to both the query and the manuscript in an attempt to produce something concise enough to actually sell.

2. Followed agents well in advance.

There are tons of agents on twitter who routinely post tips, talk about what they want to see in future books, and boost resent publishing deals. Keeping tabs on them is incredibly helpful when it comes to figuring out where your manuscript fits in the current market and whether/how you should be querying it. 

3. Let my baby go in favor of a new, shorter standalone.

A standalone within the word count guidelines might have persuaded undecided agents to take a chance on reading more, but the important thing here is that I should not have tried to query the work I’d put my soul into. 

My mental health is more important than making my baby a best seller, firstly because there’s more to my life than just writing, and secondly because there are other great books left in my soul, and without stable mental health, I won’t be able to write and query them.

So, what am I doing now?

I’m writing a book with a strong contemporary I know agents are interested in, but with enough of a spin that it’ll feel fresh.

I’ve structured the story so that the opening engulfs the reader with the conflicts and world building that’ll be important throughout the whole story and the inciting event happens immediately. 

I wrote the blurb after only having written 20k words on the rough draft, and the blurb both contains all the necessary plot threads I need to describe the compelling heart of the story and reads as a unique and engaging manuscript.

I’m writing a standalone novel with series potential that fits perfectly within the genre’s word count guidelines.

I’m writing something that’s fresh for me and I’m madly in love with, but not dependent on. It’s a puppy I want to lather with attention, not a disappointing spouse I’ve been married to for eight years and now half loath but also can’t live without.

Annnd that is all the things I have to say! If you learned something here maybe support me by buying my fun, cheap indie book? It has sirens and a soft freckly pirate and lots of diversity, and comes in both ebook and paperback. Click here for links and things.

[genderless-consul]

My favorite Glee songs, according to Spotify

Ok so the Spotify Wrapped playlist is an algorithmic black box that refuses to acknowledge that Glee should have been like 75% of my top 100 if they weren’t throttling the stats for “listenability” or whatever, but as is they probably saved me no small measure of embarrassment (Ben was ABSOLUTELY going to make it otherwise) and I actually think the 28 Glee covers to make the cut are a pretty accurate reflection of my revealed preferences. So, for your mild curiosity/amusement:

1. For Good (yes, really) 

2. Don’t Stop Believin’ (Regionals) 

3. Don’t Stop Believin’ (Pilot)

4. Defying Gravity (S1 duet version) 

5. Paradise By The Dashboard Light 

(this was my overall Top 5, and after this they artificially spaced out the Glee covers by intervals of 4 all the way down, from 9 to 97, hence 28 total)

6. I Feel Pretty/Unpretty (Unforgivably low, I know)

7. Somebody to Love (Queen, not Bieber) 

8. Don’t Stop Believin’ (Season 4 Rachel, and yes that’s 3 DSBs in the top 10) 

9. Faithfully

10. Smooth Criminal (see no. 6) 

11. Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy

12. I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

13. Don’t Rain On My Parade 

14. How Will I Know

15. Start Me Up/Livin’ On A Prayer

16. Valerie 

17. I Lived

18. Anyway You Want It/Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’

19. Listen To Your Heart (it grew on me, okay) 

20. Not The Boy Next Door

21. Popular (”Why, Miss Elphaba! Look at you!” is cursed in the best way) 

22. It’s My Life/Confessions Part II 

23. It’s All Coming Back To Me Now

24. Can’t Fight This Feeling

25. Some Nights (still mad they didn’t perform this at Sectionals)  

26. Run Joey Run (remember chapter 18? that was fun) 

27. Bad (if only one Warblers song made it, I’m glad it was this one) 

28. 4 Minutes (at least I get to go out on a high note)

Divine from all of that what you will. 

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 3

 Thanks, I Hate It!

This week, we move forward by first jumping backwards. Last episode, the Bad Kids found that Riz and Fig were missing. Now, we get to see what happened in the meantime. Riz was in his office, trying to put together anything new on the Nightmare King. We’re reminded that his sword--the Sword of Shadows which he got from the arcade and lets him misty step (also, which he used to kill Kalvaxus)--was made by Tabaxi ninjas (seemingly relevant considering the whole Shadowcat thing). He notices that, in his photo, Kalina’s image doesn’t look as time-worn as the rest of it, as if only the part where she appears was protected. He hears a noise and goes to investigate. What he finds, is a creepy-ass nightmare skeleton person in the mirror claiming to be Baron, from the Baronees (the person he on the fly lied--poorly--that he was dating in ep 1). Respecting the fact that Murph never clarified whether Baron was a guy or a girl, Brennan has Baron exclusively refer to themselves as Riz’s R̵̪̹̄o̸̱͝m̸͔͔̂̽a̴͕̾̈́n̵͙̬͒c̸̣̏͠ḙ̸̃̓ ̶̞̇̕P̸̞͚̈́a̸͉͒͝r̴̛͈͈t̷͓͇̋͒n̸̬͛̈́e̴̮̒r̴̝̃̓ in this mega-cursed, fake Swedish(?) accent.

Thanks, I hate it. 

Riz, faced with his lie brought to life, is pretty freaked and tries to shoot it but he’s quickly subdued and dragged into the mirror. Luckily, he’s able to leave the photo for his friends to find. 

Meanwhile, Fig spent the night in a weird fugue state--almost like an enjoyable nightmare. Most of her focus is on this feeling of isolation, fame, and power--but in a good way. In the background, she’s doing some unimportant stuff. You know, packing her stuff, stealing a gem, trapping Gorthalax in it, and going to Bastion City. No big deal. Anyway, that brings us back to the present with the rest of our party.

They make it to Bastion City and, more importantly, the hotel where Fig is supposed to be. On the way, Adaine tries to detect magic on Sandra-Lynn to try and figure out why she can see the photograph but nothing comes up. At the hotel, they unsuccessfully try to get the concierge to tell them where Fig’s room is. Adaine detects that the receptionist has some kind of transmutation on them and her first thought is, “Magic plastic surgery.” She dispels it. Not magic plastic surgery. The concierge is a demon--which is different and worse than devils who are at least lawful and, like, part of the bureaucracy of punishing people who deserve it.

Anyway, fight time! A lot happens during this fight so I’m going to try and highlight the most important parts:

All the employees in the immediate area turn into various demons to fight the party.

Adaine and Kristen catch sight of Fig’s room number (downstairs penthouse) right before the fight starts and, at the top of the initiative, Adaine goes invisible and runs for the elevator. 

Fabian vaults of Gilear’s face--unnecessarily--and rolls a nat 20.

Gilear (who has FIVE hit points) ducks and covers because of course he does. That doesn’t stop him from being completely obliterated by one punch from one of the huge gorilla demons. He freaking DIES. Thanks, I hate it.

Downstairs, Adaine finds a bunch more demons who are with Fig who is clearly being mind controlled. They have Riz strapped to a table and Fig’s about to stab him with a ritualistic knife. Adaine goes for a dispel magic and gets advantage because of Boggy which leads to her rolling *two nat 20s* and snapping her out of it immediately. 

In a very boss move, Fig immediately grabs Riz and dimension doors him out of his restraints and them both to the coat check where she left the ruby with Gorthalax. Before they poof out, Riz sees yellow eyes in the shadows. Familiar tabaxi eyes. Seemed like she was calling shots. 

Riz gets in a very cool kill with the line, “Tell Daybreak I said hi.”

Fig finds out Gilear is dead and grabs his soul. Kristen heals him up.

Fabian vaults off of Gilear a second time and rolls a nat 1, sending him back into death saves. 

Kristen tosses a spare the dying at Gilear and then kisses full wolfed out Tracker because time isn’t of the essence or anything.

Fig grabs the ruby Gorthalax is in and sees that it’s cloudy--cursed somehow to keep them from breaking him out. Not good. She also finds a bunch of other gems which she also grabs.

We meet Kristen’s new spirit guardians which are now hipster Post-Grad philosophy students in a full spectral coffee shop. She finds them insufferable but is also kind of into it. 

They clean up the rest of the demons and then Fabian does donuts on the Hangman. And we are out of combat.

Fig is a little distraught about having almost killed Riz and brought them all into this dangerous situation which literally killed Gilear--even though no one else blames her even a little. Gilear has a bit of a breakdown which is fair. The man died. They try to send him home--Fig wants to give him 10k gold and send him on vacation--but he is determined to stay and experience things and be useful. Also, Fabian has it in his (and Gorgug’s) head that Gilear must be some kind of chosen one since one of the demons in the fight chose to attack Gilear over him. 

Fig looks through the other gems she got and only one--a Celestial Sapphire--is similar to size to Gorthalax’s. When they bring it out, a slot in Gorgug’s van pops open. They slot the Sapphire in and, through the radio, an Angelic voice speaks to them. He sounds like Owen Wilson and he doesn’t remember his name. The Hangman hates him immediately. Fig pretends to be a cop to get info from the cops that arrive on the scene, doesn’t find out anything useful, but does roll a nat 20 on her deception (come on) and briefly turns the game into the sister, cop-drama show set in the same universe as the Grey’s Anatomy sham-life she’s living, kissing another full adult man. Incredible. 

They regroup at a posh restaurant/cafe called The Swan’s Little Parade. Sklonda calls and, after she and Sandra-Lynn do the mom-catch up thing, she has a quick talk with Riz where we find out a few things about Kalina:

She only worked with Pok on missions between Falinel and Solace.

She was great at going invisible and other infiltration things.

(Note: We actually learned this earlier but I wanted to keep this info together)She looks more like a traditional housecat than a big cat like some other tabaxi.

It’s extremely hard to scry on her. 

She didn’t attend Pok’s funeral.

The last time Sklonda heard from her was 12ish years ago.

Riz only encountered her a few times as a kid. 

Last Sklonda remembers, she reached out to Pok it was something to do with the ship the Oracle sank on. 

They pass around the picture to see who can see it and not only does it appear that Ragh can see her (oh, kinda implied this before but Riz can too) he also seemed really bugged out. Tracker says she can use her cleric mojo to put up some wards to (1) keep them from getting mind whammied like Fig did overnight and (2) maybe make Ragh feel safe enough to talk. She also suggests they all sleep in a huge dog pile for safety which I think is great and someone should draw that.

Gorgug gets a text. It’s Zelda. She can’t believe he left without saying goodbye.

Thanks, I hate it. 

Detention

Fabian for Using Gilear as a Launch Pad Two (2) Times

This was a top contender for this spot, even before Fabian did this a second time and screwed up so bad (nat 1!) that Gilear dropped to zero again and had to make death saving throws.    

Honor Roll

Adaine for Freeing Fig 

Listen, I will freely admit that I have a clear bias towards Adaine. You got me. She’s my favorite. HOWEVER, you cannot tell me that going invisible, rushing straight to the elevator, then rolling double nat 20s (a 1/400 chance) to release Fig from domination right before she plunged a knife into Riz’s heart wasn’t the sickest series of events that happened during this ep. What could possibly compete? 

Random Thoughts

I’ve been trying to figure out the rhyme or reason to who can see the full photo but I haven’t figured out a pattern yet. It’s not that only people who have seen her before can see her because Sandra-Lynn can see it and she said she’s never met her--although I guess it’s possible that she has and she didn’t recognize her since she’s a super spy. And it’s not a blanket thing on the Bad Kids specifically because Riz can see her. I was hoping they’d show it to more people so we could get a better idea of the rules. Maybe it’s based entirely on if she wants to be seen by that specific person? But then why wouldn’t it default to the blank image. It seems (from our limited POV) that most people can see her. Maybe for most people a blank space would be more suspicious than a random tabaxi? Idk.  

Riz forcibly installing himself as Fabian’s best friend and it working is low key the funniest relationship development in FH. I’m so glad Murph and Lou ran with that. Also, the fact that he’s basically accepted that Riz is his best friend but the Hangman hasn’t at all is so good. 

Brennan really just shot Zac in the head at point blank range at the end of the episode, huh? He really just did that to our boy. What’s also funny is that, unlike--say--CR where there’s usually at least a good minute of decompression and goodbyes, Brennan just goes for the kill shot and then peaces out immediately. What a power move. 

Also, poor Zelda! She’s already so insecure, this isn’t gonna be good for her self esteem. Arguably, there were extenuating circumstances Gorgug can claim but you know that’s only gonna help so much since he def could have at least called/texted her to let her know he had to leave in a hurry because Fig/Riz were missing. I wonder if there’s a section of the binder on this. 

For reference, the demons they fight in the hotel lobby are a Cambion, and then several barlgura and skeksis.

“He’s just a guy!” He certainly is. Check out his stats. Hilarious but also, I can’t act like my stats would look that much different. 

I truly, truly cannot believe that Emily pulled the exact same hospital stunt again and it resolved in exactly the same way. This is like when I played blackjack with my brother when I was a teenager to teach him that the house always wins and he hit 21 twice in a row. 

Also on the topic of Fig, her coming down from her mind control was my favorite part of this episode, for a couple of reasons. I love how sincerely Emily played the immediate shock and horror at what she almost did (closed book my ass). I love how every other person was so happy to get her back. I love that none of them even entertained the thought that she might be dangerous or untrustworthy now. Relationships at the intersection of constant bullying and ride or die are my favorite. 

While we’re on the topic of emotional scenes, Gilear full breaking down in the van post-fight was very funny but you also genuinely felt for the guy. It’s been a really long day for the guy and he died like one and a half times. His, “I haven’t experienced anything before this moment,” line really hit me hard. And I think it’s very wild that Brennan set the DC for convincing him to go home at 25 (which Fig did not pass with a 21). It’s very interesting that Gilear’s reaction to this series of events was to double down and be like, I *need* to be here. Seems like this could be a set up for some interesting Gilear development. 

The amount of times I have almost typed Balnor is unreal. My brain stores all the middle aged men hanging out with people too young for him to be hanging out with in the same folder.  

I can’t believe Adaine just went for that dispel except that I can because she did the exact thing with Iris’ wig at the NY live show and I couldn’t believe that either! I really did not think (1) that was a good move or (2) gonna lead to combat (except for the kind that gets you banned from a hotel). I completely misread that situation. Like, it’s a world full of magic. It’s not that weird that a random person would have a spell on them. Anyway, this is why she’s the oracle and I’m not. 

The Barlgura needed a 3 or higher to hit Gilear. He got a 19. Yikes.

“I had to ask.”/ “No you didn’t.” (The crew explodes into laughter.)

Riz tells the whole gang about the Baron thing and tells everyone that they need to stop lying in case all their lies are gonna pop out and attack them. Gorgug admits that he’s kissed the Hangman. Kristen confesses to a group of her closest friends and girlfriend that she is gay. Tracker is like, “Babe, what?” Tracker (and the Bad Kids but in a different way) must really love Kristen because she is just so much all the time. 

Fabian: Who are you seeing then?/Riz:...................No one. 

Ally Middle Name Beardsly wtf is a paranoia check? 

The comedic rhythm of Fabian vaulting off of Gilear’s face with a nat 20, him dying, being resurrected, and the Fabian trying to do it again with a nat 1 and knocking him near death is so perfect that it’s wild that it was totally random. This is the kind of thing that makes you get superstitious about dice. 

We’re introduced to Boggy’s second mood this ep which is Boggy’s mood which is a slightly squinted, “Hmm...I don’t know about this.” Thanks, I love it. 

In addition to considering Gilear might be the chosen one (by who? Of what? They don’t know and neither do I) the half of the group entertaining this theory also considers Gilear might be the Nightmare King (”If you are you have to tell me. I’m your daughter.”). I don’t know if the NK does possession but please have the NK possess Gilear at some point. If the theme of this season is carefully filing away random off the cuff gags and making them plot relevant, please let this be one of them. Also, lol at Murph trying to roll high enough so that Riz has the knowledge to stop the shenanigans before it derails the whole campaign.  

The group bestows upon Gilear the positions of Tour Manager, Social Media Manager, and Honorary Bad Kid (listed last of course).

Fig grabbed a lanyard of out Adaine’s jacket and I remembered, oh yeah, she has a very magical jacket that is only ever used for shenanigans, if at all. Imagine being so magic that you have a magic jacket that you’re always wearing that can summon anything (w/i reason) and you just kinda...forget about it most of the time. 

Curious about why Fig specifically was called in to do the sacrifice and why Riz was the one who had to be sacrificed. 

I hope Adaine just continues to loan out Boggy to anyone having a bad day. I love that.

“Maybe this is one of those massages that hurt.”

Really wanted Hilariel to Skype in and ask about Gilear. Her take on everything is always so funny. She is as crazy as everyone else in her family but in such a low key way.  

Lol at the party being like, “Yeah, Tracker healed me just fine without any 69-ing,” which is truly an incomprehensible sentence without context and still mostly incomprehensible with context. 

Don’t wanna overlook the coolness of Fig rolling double 17s (disadvantaged) to command the barlguras. Not magically, just convincing them she was still in charge of them. Very clutch.

Fabian is so much chiller about letting people on his motorbike these days. He let Gilear ride it. He let Riz ride it. He gave a blanket invitation for anyone in the area to hop on before he did donuts. I love Sophomore Fabian. 

Gilear gets a nat 20 for his first roll! Riz and Kristen got two nat 20s. Fig got one, Gorgug got one (he rolled a second one that was lost with disadvantage), and Adaine rolled two but they really only count as one since it was with advantage. Fabian rolled one of each. That’s a lot of 20s for one ep!

[mllemaenad]

Cruelty vs Compassion: Cullen and Niall in Broken Circle

Cullen: Uldred tortured these mages, hoping to break their wills and turn them into abominations. We don’t know how many of them have turned.

Irving: What? Don’t be ridiculous!

Cullen: Of course he’ll say that! He might be a blood mage! Don’t you know what they did? 

Greagoir: I am the knight-commander here, not you.

I know much is made of the torture Cullen suffered in the Fereldan Circle. In Dragon Age 2 it is used to set him up as an extremist, and an ally of Meredith. In Dragon Age Inquisition it is used to excuse and moderate his actions in the previous game, and to justify his ongoing persecution of mage characters.

However, I think it’s worth looking at that scene in the original context, in Broken Circle. Here, it isn’t really about Cullen’s pain at all. Rather, it is about establishing him, as well as his fellow templars, as the bad guys of the quest.

Bioware and its grey morality is ... a thing. When it works, it offers layers and complexity to the world and its story. When it doesn’t, it can leave the player frustrated and angry with a story that’s asking them to sympathise with vicious slavers, nobles and religious extremists.

Origins’s take on grey morality is to ... more or less literally let the player get away with murder, if they want. One way or another, you’re going to end the Blight, and then your Warden will either be a dead hero, or the living Hero of Ferelden, who can damn near do no wrong. While in Inquisition, and even DA2, it can be difficult to remain friends with a companion if you take a hard line stance on something they hate, in Origins they rarely have strong reactions to quest-based decisions. And hell, I have the Feast Day pack, so Seanna could disagree with her companions all day and then feed them cake until they loved her again, if she wanted. Origins is big on options; low on consequences.

It does, however, tend to give you a broad sense of which would be the ‘good’ or ‘evil’ options in a given quest. Murdering slaves to increase your stats is evil. Saving children from demons is good. Some quests have multiple options, and I don’t necessarily agree with the framing (the morality of The Urn of Sacred Ashes is pretty fucked up, if you ask me), but you can generally get a sense of whether your Warden’s behaviour counts as moral.

Cullen’s torture in Broken Circle, and his reaction to it, exists in counterpoint to someone else’s torture, and his reaction to it. Cullen is a foil to a much more important character: the man with the plan, and possibly the true saviour of the Fereldan Circle – the mage Niall.

Niall: Who are you? Where did you come from? Are you a demon?

Cullen: This trick again? I know what you are. It won’t work. I will stay strong.

Niall: This place drains you of everything ... hope, feeling, life ...

Cullen: Enough visions. If anything in you is human ... kill me now and stop this game.

Unless you actively choose to go back downstairs after completing the Fade sequence (who hasn’t forgotten they still need to fight Shah Wyrd and made a last minute dash to the ground floor at least once?) you’ll likely have these encounters one after the other. Collecting the Litany of Adralla is the last step before you’re ready to take on Uldred.

It’s impossible to miss the parallels in these encounters: both men have been captured and tormented by demons; both are exhausted, despairing and at the end of their endurance; both have been confused enough by demons and Fade dreams to initially mistake the Warden for another spirit.

Niall: I gathered some of my fellows and we obtained the Litany from the stockroom. I thought if we disabled the others, we could throw everything we had at Uldred.

Niall: But I saw my friends fall, one by one, and now it’s my turn.

Cullen: You broke the others, but I will stay strong, for my sake ... for theirs ...

Both have lost the friends they came with, and have found themselves the last man standing against an enemy they have no hope of defeating. Both have, in short, had a really shit couple of days. They’re not equally bad, of course: Niall is being quite literally eaten alive by a sloth demon, and will not survive the day; while no doubt exhausted and distressed, Cullen is more-or-less fine. But let’s not quibble: they’re both in a bad way.

Niall: It is time for us both to be on our way. Remember the Litany of Adralla. The Circle is all that matters now.

Cullen: To ensure this horror is ended ... to guarantee that no abominations or blood mages live, you must kill everyone up there.

And, significantly, both characters advise you on how to complete the quest: Niall wants you to save anybody who’s still breathing; Cullen wants you to murder everyone. Niall’s plea, while impassioned, is also reasoned and well thought out – he came in with a plan, a good plan, and he only needs your help to complete it. He is profoundly dignified, even at the point of death, after days of wandering through the same hellscape you just golem-and-fiery-skeleton-ed your way though. He judges himself for failing to win a battle he should never have had to fight. Meanwhile, Cullen is aggressive and demanding. He rejects any offer of compassion – especially from Circle mage Wynne, despite the fact that she has come to save him – and he doesn’t really have a good argument as to why you need to kill everyone. It boils down to ‘kill them just in case’.

You don’t need to put a halo and a pair of horns on these two to guess who is sitting on which shoulder.

It’s worth noting, at this point, that the choice between Niall’s way and Cullen’s sits against the background of information you’ve gathered as you ascend the tower. Mage wardens will obviously have a little more context for the places and characters you meet, but you don’t need that. The story establishes it on its own: templars are full of shit; mages are pretty awesome.

Greagoir: We saw only demons, hunting templars and mages alike. I realised we could not defeat them and told my men to flee.

Greagoir: They took us by surprise. We were prepared for one or two abominations – not the horde that fell upon us.

Greagoir: No one could have survived those monstrous creatures. It is too painful to hope for survivors and find ... nothing.

When you first enter the Circle you encounter Knight-Commander Greagoir, who makes it abundantly clear that, though the templars are technically trained in dealing specifically with demons and blood magic, they were in no way prepared for any situation involving demons, plural. They cut and run immediately, leaving behind both the entire mage population and their own templar brethren. Greagoir is firmly of the opinion that the situation in the Fereldan Circle is not survivable. Everyone in there who is not a demon is dead.

Wynne: It’s you! No ... come no further. Grey Warden or no, I will strike you down where you stand!

As soon as you step through the doors, you find that he is thoroughly and disastrously wrong. You encounter an entire section that has been successfully cleared and secured. You watch a mage defeat a demon – entirely without your aid. You see that, not only are there survivors, some of the survivors are children.

Greagoir: This situation is dire. There is no alternative – everything in the tower must be destroyed so it can be made safe again.

Wynne: Yes. Even if we cannot eliminate all the demons and abominations, together, we could lead the survivors out.

Greagoir’s plan is simply to murder everyone: to charge in and stick a sword in anything that moves (children included) without any thought of strategy or reason. Wynne would like to be methodical: she would like to go from room to room, killing any hostiles she encounters, and send survivors down to safety.

We already have evidence that Greagoir's assessment of the situation is wildly inaccurate – the mages in front of us. Likewise, we have evidence that Wynne and her people can follow through on the plan: they’ve already cleared this area, and protected the children.

Wynne pairs with Greagoir and Niall pairs with Cullen. The debate you hear at the bottom of the tower is repeated at the top. In both instances, the mages present solid plans to save as many people as possible; in both instances, the templars advocate wanton destruction for no clear reason.

The templars’ argument is further undermined by evidence you find as you climb the tower:

Pile of Rubble in first area after ascending to this level: I have the utmost sympathy for what happened to your charge, but it is beyond the Cicle's ability to anticipate every obscure demise that an apprentice might face, especially involving methods outside the already extensive realm of magical study. We simply don't have the room for additional training facilities, and there are concerns about becoming too inclusive that I will not elaborate on. Your request is denied.

--First Enchanter Sinclair

Pile of Books in next room after escaping from the Fade: If space is your excuse, I will surrender my quarters. If it is about money, I will hire the appropriate people. I will not graduate another student ignorant of weapons that any ditch-digger can shove into his ribs. We teach them to append ridiculous glamours on parade arms, but they don't know simple steel. That is criminal.

--Enchanter Bergin

Pile of Books in room with Blood Mage and Charmed Templars: Notice herewith that the exercise area on the fourth floor shall serve as permanent berthing for the templar garrison stationed at the tower. Since facilities that accommodate their particular training requirements are already on hand, they will be assuming an even closer watch over Circle affairs. Enchanter Bergin's optional weapons training is canceled until further notice. Enchanter Bergin has additionally stepped down from teaching duties.

--First Enchanter Sinclair

– Extracurricular Studies

It’s established that the mages have been actively prevented from learning how to defend themselves. There used to be combat classes, taught by someone named Enchanter Bergin, but he was forced to stop and templars moved in to his space to “assum(e) an even closer watch over Circle affairs”.

Owain: Please refrain from going into the stockroom. It is a mess and I have not been able to get it into a state fit to be seen.

Tranquil: Thank you. That was an uncomfortable experience.

Nevertheless, there are several encounters with mages and tranquil in this quest who are fighting, hiding, resisting torture – still trying to find a way through this nightmare. There are survivors. Despite what the templars tell you, there are people you can save.

Desire demon: We are partners. I give him what no one else can, and through him, I experience what it is to be mortal.

Meanwhile, Cullen outright admits that the rest of his comrades broke (we have only his word that he didn’t, which strangely enough he expects us to accept, while not regarding Irving’s word as good enough), and there are no free templars in the entire quest. They are all possessed or charmed by demons.

Broken Circle is asking you a simple question. Which do you want? Warriors trained in dealing with the arcane and the monstrous who will absolutely scream and run away if the fight gets a little bit difficult? Or civilians with no combat training who have proved to be surprisingly resilient in a crisis?

Strategically, that might be a bit tough: what you actually want is competent professionals, and those are in short supply right now. Morally, it’s an easy call: the mages are heroes, survivors and innocents; the templars are murderous cowards.

Alistair: His hatred of mages is so intense ... the memory of his friends’ deaths is still fresh in his mind.

Wynne: He’s suffered pain and anguish like few have had to endure. That and his lust for revenge have confused the issue –

Cullen: Do not presume to judge me, mage! I am thinking clearly – for perhaps the first time in my life.

Cullen: As you can see, I am in no position to directly influence your actions, though I would love to deal with the mages myself.

To return to Cullen’s motivation – while no one is disputing that he’s had a really bad day (We’re not! We’re all being very understanding about his demands for mass murder!), the story doesn’t actually emphasise his distress very much. That is raised and dismissed. What is raised and accepted is that Cullen is angry. Cullen is vengeful. The mages (some of them, anyway) have risen up, and templar blood has been spilled. Now mage blood must be spilled in return. It doesn’t matter very much if the mages were involved in the uprising or not. He just wants to kill them in an act of revenge.

While we can understand Cullen’s grief over his friends at a personal level, it’s worth considering whether it’s reasonable. We have just established that the mages are imprisoned in the Circle tower, that they have been prevented from learning how to protect themselves, and that the templars have not only abandoned their charges to die, they are actively in favour of murdering them.

Do ... we care that much about their deaths? This looks like the only part of the uprising that went right.

This is like Nathaniel Howe’s distress over his father’s death. Of course you can sympathise: this was his dad. But at the same time, you expect him to look at the evidence, and come to understand that his father was not an innocent. Nathaniel does, because he is a fundamentally decent person. Cullen doesn’t.

Put another way: if you’ve played Fallout 4, you’ll note that the NPC raiders sometimes cry out in grief and distress when their comrades fall in battle. That’s a nice touch on the AI: the raiders are human beings, with human emotions, and the people you’re killing are their friends, their family. But when the battle is done and you walk into their camps ... and you observe the bloody remains of their victims scattered about for decoration ... maybe you don’t feel too bad about making them sad?

Same deal.

The original epilogue for this quest has this:

Templars

Once the tower was rebuilt, Knight-Commander Greagoir stepped down from his post and retired to a life of private contemplation as a brother in the Chantry. His health failed over time, and after refusing treatment, he perished in his sleep. Knight-Commander Cullen was said to be more strict and less trusting of the mages even than Greagoir was. He ruled the Circle with fear.

Mages

The young templar Cullen never quite recovered from his ordeal. After months of attempting to convince his superiors that the tower was still a danger, he finally snapped and killed three apprentices before being stopped by his fellow templars. Eventually, Cullen escaped from prison, a madman and a threat to any mage he encountered.

– Epilogue

Now, I realise the details of this have been pretty thoroughly retconned. There is absolutely no point in bringing this stuff up in relation to later games. However, it is worth looking at the epilogue in relation to the original quest. Regardless of the ending you choose, these epilogues tell you that the real threat was never the mages, or even the demons. The threat was the templars – the individual murderer, or the institution with a cruel man in charge.

The mages are not possessed (at least not in a harmful sense – Hi, Wynne!). They are not evil. But the templars always have power over them, and they can hurt them simply because they hate them. Cullen hates them, and was thwarted in his vengeance. So he hurts them.

Also, if you mash those two endings together and change the location you’ve pretty much got the plot of Dragon Age 2. So the details have changed, but the theme remains the same.

To end: Broken Circle fundamentally lets you choose. You can show compassion to the tortured mages, who asked for none of this, and who were never prepared for this violence. You can accept the aid of their heroes, enact a plan, and save the survivors. Or, you can murder them to satisfy the vengeance of their gaolers who resent having to take any risks on behalf of their charges.

Niall represents that compassion. Cullen represents that cruelty. It isn’t really about Cullen’s tragedy at all. If anything, it’s about Niall’s. And yet, two games on, he is effectively forgotten.

Niall: Dark times, greater acts of heroism, eh? You may be right.

A salute to Niall – who fought for compassion and saved the Circle (at least from my save game) when the templars would have destroyed it.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Yuumi the Magical Cat build (and a test of Tumblr formatting)

So I have no idea how this website works but I mostly made this account to post DnD 5e character builds based on characters I like. Ever since the latest UA came out I’ve been ecstatic over the fact that we finally got another Support-based Warlock that isn’t Celestial. The fact that it’s a genie Warlock is awesome and there’s tons of roleplay that can be done with a pocket wish-granting elemental walking around with you... good thing we’re ignoring all that for the sake of B O O K!

Yuumi! To be honest I haven’t played League of Legends in ages but Yuumi was a character who drew my attention immediately because she’s an UwU Kitty-Cat... who had like a 36% win rate on release. She’s better now though! ...Probably. Regardless Yuumi was my immediate thought when I saw the tether mechanic from the latest Warlock UA. Constructing a build for The Magical 7th Item Slot Cat was something on my mind for the longest time, probably because the only other character I could replicate is... what? Io from DOTA?

I got the OK from Tulok the Barbrarian-senpai to make some DnD builds which is why I’m using his format. All these builds will keep away from Homebrew and can all be made on D&D Beyond... as long as your DM allows Unearthed Arcana which this build heavily relies on.

GOALS

Shield, heal, cuddle! - Yuumi is a support, through-and-through. Probably one of the most support-focused supports in the game. While this build will still have good damage output the main focus is on keeping your teammates alive and well.

Book, do something! - Yuumi is a dynamic duo between the cat and the book. Hopefully your DM is okay with you not really having a “patron” and instead having a sentient book fly around instead. I mean, it’s basically just a Hexblade right?

Lost Chapter - Yuumi honestly has a pretty basic kit. Replicating 4 spells is easy as cake in 5e so a lot of this build will be focused on replicating Yuumi’s typical item build as well.

RACE

Well as you can tell Yuumi is clearly a Bugbe-Ah who am I kidding she’s a Tabaxi. You’re welcome to pick whatever race you want but Tabaxi is honestly a good pick for this build. You get an increase to both DEX and CHA, some useful skills (be sure to ward bush!), and probably the most important skill: Feline Agility. Much like Yuumi you don’t want to be caught off-guard so a quick self-use of Zoomies can help you get away from the enemy and back to your team. For your language of choice... is Yordle an option? Halfling is probably the closest you’ll get to Yordles in 5e so just opt for that instead.

ABILITY SCORES

Much like Tulok I’ll be using Standard Array for ease-of-use. Roll for stats if you want but this is a general guideline for where to put your highs and lows.

15; CHARISMA - You’re cute, cuddly, and oh-so snuggly. Yuumi in-lore is an innate spellcaster and that translates into Charisma; helps that this also impacts Persuasion for head scritches.

14; DEXTERITY - Yuumi isn’t the fastest champion in-game (it’s on Book to do the “walking”) but she’s still a cat, and cats are fast. Dexterity affects AC as well as several other useful things.

13; INTELLIGENCE - Your best friend is literally a floating book it’s bound to know something.

12; WISDOM - You’re a smart kitty and you know a thing or two about Yordles... doesn’t stop you from dissing everyone else though.

10; CONSTITUTION - It’s technically in-character to dump Constitution but I don’t recommend it. Intelligence and Wisdom are higher on this list but you don’t really need them - feel free to get some Ruby Crystals.

8; STRENGTH - Here’s something that’s in-character to dump and I do recommend dumping. Strength is almost completely redundant in this build so don’t be afraid to ditch it.

This would be the point array I’d use if I was RPing Yuumi but if I wanted a more functional character I’d go CHA / DEX / CON / (INT / WIS) / STR for my stat spread. But much like in League you’re more than welcome to buy some health boosting items (notably an Amulet of Health) to compensate for bad stats.

BACKGROUND

Yuumi spent most of her time in Nora her master’s hut which would technically make her a Cloistered Scholar? But Sage works better if you’re teaming up with Book. You gain Arcana and History proficiencies which are honestly the two I’d pick for a magic cat that has a sentient Book as a best friend. You also get the Researcher feature which lets you know where to find any information: Book knows everything and can bring you anywhere - ask them to tell you where to go! You also get two languages and... uhhh who synergizes well with Yuumi? ...Yasuo? Is there a monkey language in 5e? Jokes aside just pick whatever language you think will be useful.

(Art by EmeraldParrot on DeviantArt)

THE BUILD

This may come as a surprise but despite the fact that this build was made almost entirely for the sake of using the new UA Warlock patron we’re actually not starting with Warlock! While half of Yuumi’s power comes from Book (who I’d consider the “patron” in this relationship) the other half of her power is innate. Now I could make her a Sorcerer to reflect the magic within her or I could perhaps make her a Wizard to get more value out of Book but I had to ask myself a question: which class in D&D would be the best for a character who regularly insults and sasses other characters and thinks too highly of themselves?

LEVEL 1 - BARD 1

Yes this build is a Bardlock build, and the only reason we’re going Bard first is for the extra music instruments as well as the choice of any skill we want.

Your choice of instrument doesn’t matter much (it’s mildly important for Instruments of the Bard or if you have an Artificer, but other than that don’t worry) but I’m contractually obligated to take a Lyre every time I make a Bard. Other than that you synergize with Yasuo so steal his Flute, and I’ve always been a fan of Pentakill so I’ll take the closest to a guitar. (Lute)

For skills take Acrobatics, Persuasion, and Survival. You’re a cat which means you need to be quick on your feet and are adorable as hecc, and you need some survival instinct when you’re constantly hopping between dimensions. (Truthfully though as a Bard you should be picking skills that your party lacks, though I’d argue that Acrobatics and Persuasion should always be taken to remain “in character.”)

For cantrips take Message to coordinate with your party in team chat and Vicious Mockery; Yuumi is a cat of sass so feel free to diss your local god by calling him a dog. Or alternatively this could be you flaming the enemy team in /all - I won’t judge.

Cure Wounds and Healing Word are absolute musts for any support - in particular Cure Wounds is good for you since you can cast it from wherever your You and Me (tether) target is located. This means that whoever you’re tethered to can get the full value of Cure Wounds instead of you being forced to pop Healing Word instead. Other than that Longstrider lets you replicate Zoomies’ movement speed boost, and you can never go wrong with Featherfall. (The only spells that are really “mandatory” here is Cure Wounds. Maybe Longstrider too. Healing Word is always useful but both it and Featherfall are just suggestions.)

LEVEL 2 - WARLOCK 1

And from Bard we immediately jump to the meat of this build: The Noble Genie Warlock! You get your Collector’s Vessel which hopefully your DM will let be a book with cat-sized portals inside of it?

You also get some cantrips and guess what? Eldrich Blast! Yeah it’s a Warlock build you’re going to take Eldrich Blast. Other than that take Minor Illusion to pull something scary out of Book at the right time.

For main spells Hex is great to deal extra damage and also lets you debuff some of the target’s ability checks. Sleep is more of a Zoe thing but it’s still an insane pact-specific spell so there’s no reason not to take it.

LEVEL 3 - WARLOCK 2

We’re going to keep going in Warlock firstly for Eldrich Invocations. The main one you want here is Lance of Lethargy so you can replicate Prowling Projectile’s movement speed slow and help set up some kills for your team. The other invocation slot will be left open for now as we wait for level 4, as will our spell choice.

LEVEL 4 - WARLOCK 3

Hello Book! Of course we’re taking Pact of the Tome for the Book of Thresholds Shadows, or just Book for short. Again be sure to ask your DM if the book can be sentient for RP purposes. Or alternatively have it not act be sentient and make your party think your crazy when you talk to it! As for cantrips take Guidance to buff your ADC with some Adaptive Force (note: Guidance will not increase damage), Mending to fix any tears Book may receive (don’t want any more lost chapters!), and even though you’re not really a melee fighter being able to magically scratch nearby champions enemies with Shocking Grasp will give you a fighting chance if you get stuck in the middle of combat.

Note: While it would be more in flavor to use Primal Savagery the reason I opted for Shocking Grasp is because you can cast it through your ally to cause an enemy to be unable to take Reactions. It’s more in flavor to scratch at your enemies but Shocking Grasp is far more useful for this build. Truthfully you can take any cantrip you want though these are just recommendations; I know having 3 damaging cantrips is a little excessive but I like having an attack roll cantrip, saving throw cantrip, and backup melee cantrip.

Now for the Invocation we skipped. I think most 5e veterans have identified what we’re looking for: Book of Ancient Secrets. Book is a resourceful... book and the value of Ritual spells can’t go unmentioned. Take Comprehend Languages and Identify: flip through Book’s pages until you can find the info that you want! And don’t be afraid about picking bad rituals because you can just inscribe more rituals later on!

Now for Spells! Once we get to 2nd level spells we get a lot more stuff to choose from but let’s just choose the main spells we need:

Misty Step - You’re a noob if you’re not packing Flash. Also since this is a multiclass build the problem of Misty Step taking Pact Magic slots can be negated, as you can use your Bard slots to cast Misty Step.

Hold Person - Hit a snare with Final Chapter so your friends can clean up!

Truthfully though all your 2nd level spells open up a huge array of possibilities and I’d recommend picking up any one of them. The Noble Genie gets Enlarge / Reduce which is one of my favorite spells thematically: feel free to pop an Elixir of Iron on your tank!

LEVEL 5 - BARD 2

Feel free to take Warlock 4 for the ASI but I’d like to get the Bard features up-and-running. At level 2 you get Jack of All Trades which means that Book can always help you out of a jam. You also get Song of Rest which further solidifies your role as a support.

For your spell of choice Charm Person lets you use that cute kitty face of yours to get a bunch of fan art on DeviantArt.

LEVEL 6 - BARD 3

Let’s start by picking out our Expertise because that’s the easy bit: Arcana and History - straight from your background. You’re a magic cat with a sentient book you should know these skills well.

Now for your Bard College. There are several good choices: Lore gives you more Magical Secrets to let you “itemize” better, College of Valor lets you buff your allies’ attacks with some Adaptive Force, but at the end of the day the question is this: what subclass lets you shield while also increasing your allies’ movement?

College of Glamour yes really! The main reason for this is Mantle of Inspiration which was the most Yuumi-esque ability of the bunch. You can expect a Bardic Inspiration die to give all your allies temporary HP as well as allow them to move as a reaction without provoking opportunity attacks. You also get Enthralling Performance which is certainly a nice bonus: distract a crowd with your feline charm while the rest of your team does their work.

You also get another spell and... I’ll be honest throwing all the spells on this guide is making this post far longer than it needs to be. I can give some general advice but I’m only here for the class features - not the spells. Pick spells that will help your team, the same way you’d itemize to help your team in League.

LEVEL 7 - BARD 4

Mostly taking Level 4 Bard now for the ASI. Bump Charisma for better spellcasting.

You also get another cantrip: get Dancing Lights to summon some moon moths to chase!

Note: One more level in Bard will get you Font of Inspiration, which allows your Bardic Inspiration to come back on a Short rest. It will also buff Mantle of Inspiration. If you think you’ll need to use Mantle of Inspiration more feel free to take another level in Bard earlier than suggested in this build.

LEVEL 8 - WARLOCK 4

And another ASI! Bump Charisma again for a maxed out spellcasting modifier!

LEVEL 9 - WARLOCK 5

At this level you get another Invocation as well as 3rd level spells. There are quite a few good invocations to pick from but as a squishy support you’re going to want Zhonya's - or in this case Tomb of Levistus. While not quite Zhonya's this invocation will give you a phat health buff in exchange for making you completely stationary until the end of your next turn. Pop it if the enemy Assassin ults you and pray that your team saves you.

Now that you got 3rd level spells there are some obvious choices. Counterspell? Fly? Maybe Dispell Magic or Gaseous Form? Honestly if your DM is allowing UA spells Psionic Blast from the psychic UA works great with the Genie patron. Those are my picks for some good level 3 spells - unfortunately the spells from the Genie Patron aren’t that good besides maybe Create Food and Water, which is only really useful for specific adventures.

Oh and you get another cantrip! I’d recommend Prestidigitation to pull more things out of Book.

LEVEL 10 - WARLOCK 6

This is the point that this build really starts to shine through. Is it bad that this build needs to get to level 10 before it really starts working? ...Eh...?

Anyways you get Elemental Resistance at this level which lets you give your You and Me (tether) target resistance to one of four elements. You can only choose one resistance per long rest so try to pick the damage type you think you’ll run into a lot. Pro tip: Fire damage is really common. Ignite is a powerful Summoner Spell.

LEVEL 11 - WARLOCK 7

At this level you get access to Level 7 invocations which are all... ehhhh? There are some cool ones here but none of them are really great for Yuumi so instead we’re going to go back a bit and pick up Exhaustion. ...The Summoner Spell, not the D&D debuff. Mire the Mind lets you cast Slow once per long rest: slow is a really powerful spell that you can pop on the ADC so your team can wail on them. Just make sure you don’t lose concentration.

You also get access to 4th level spells and while this is technically a spell Lulu has: Polymorph! Turn your allies into T-Rexes, turn your enemies into Fish (don’t try to eat the fish or they’ll turn back), and most importantly you can now become an actual cat! Truthfully though there are several great 4th level spells too and I recommend you look at all of them.

LEVEL 12 - WARLOCK 8

Ability Score Improvement but you should have max spellcasting by now which is the only thing that matters so... how about some Feats? I’m not going to choose any one particular Feat and instead focus on some of the better ones for you to take.

Alert - Along with Jack of All Trades this will almost always guarantee that you’re the first to go in initiative, meaning that you can tether to someone and start applying buffs.

Inspiring Leader - Lets you use Bop and Block early and give all your allies a nice health buffer to start the day.

Observant - With your Charisma and your proficiency buffing your Perception score this should guarantee that you don’t miss anything with those feline eyes of yours. Be sure to ping incoming ganks!

Resilient (CON) - You don’t really need the other effects of War Caster in this build and Resilient is just more useful overall.

Spell Sniper - Read this spell over and ask “does this sound useful?” If yes then take it, because you’re in a game with a DM who actually likes using cover mechanics.

Tough - Yuumi isn’t tough; that doesn’t mean you can’t be.

Lucky - When in doubt break out the OP bullshit perk.

You also get another spell: Dimension Door lets you recall back to base or somewhere similar.

LEVEL 13 - WARLOCK 9

At Warlock 9 you get access to another invocation, including your 9th level invocations and... oh oh there it is boys! Ascendant Step! Now you can be a proper hovering kitty cat! (Note if you took Fly at earlier levels it might be a good idea to drop it. Or not: you can still buff your allies!)

You also gain access to 5th level spells and here’s where it gets fun: Bigby’s Hand! Honestly this is just a fun spell but you can also justify most of the effects as being part of Yuumi (and Book)’s magic.

Clenched Fist - A full damage Prowling Projectile against a target.

Forceful Hand - More of a Janna thing but still very useful.

Grasping Hand - Hit your snare with Final Chapter. "I am TOTALLY doing this!"

Interposing Hand - Again more of a Taliyah thing (or perhaps Jarvan) but still very useful!

This would be my immediate pick but other than that for 5th level?

Creation is your other patron-specific spell and it is awesome. A little situational maybe but that’s the nature of Book! Pull out something useful: unfortunately it can’t be fish but still!

Hold Monster is like Hold Person but better. It’s a big spell slot though so be wary.

Synaptic Static is like a combination of Leona and Alistar, which is to say it’s a big nuke from the sky that makes all your enemies do less damage.

Contact Other Plane is not my first pick for a number of reasons but if you don’t know what to pick being able to ask Book for directions can be helpful. And it comes back on a short rest too! :) Just make sure Book doesn’t break your mind. (Maybe invest in the Resilient feat for Intelligence if you plan to use this spell.)

(Artwork by sakkiye on DeviantArt)

LEVEL 14 - WARLOCK 10

And now we’ve reached the capstone of our Warlock levels and we get two very powerful abilities. Firstly there’s Protective Wish which lets you use your reaction to swap places between you and your tethered target if either of you get hit. Tank hits for your allies... or alternatively don’t do that and have them shield you from baddies trying to spray you! Just make sure that you aren’t teleporting into a more dangerous location and as a word of advice: don’t throw your allies into danger without their consent.

The other ability you get is Genie’s Entertainment which is far more useful. As an action you can make Book pull a target within 90 feet to a harmless dimension where they’ll be stuck for up to a minute. They can make a Charisma saving throw every turn until they either succeed or a minute passes before they’re ejected where they just were or in the closest available space. This is effectively a one-time use of the Banishment spell (which you can take as a Warlock) but it doesn’t require Concentration which means you can put your focus on other useful buffs for your team.

You also get another cantrip so invest in Mage Hand so Book can pick up things you can’t reach with those paws of yours.

LEVEL 15 - BARD 5

And now we’re bouncing back to Bard and finally getting Font of Inspiration. Honestly if you need more use out of Mantle of Inspiration then feel free to get this level earlier, but you already have plenty of short rest value with your Warlock spell slots.

And speaking of spells: 3rd level Bard spells, anyone? I’d argue that Sending would be quite in-flavor, and Hypnotic Pattern would make for a strong utility, even if you don’t have an AoE stun. Honestly I’m going to skip the spell talk and only cover the last few levels of Bard for completion’s sake.

LEVEL 16 - BARD 6

You now get Countercharm which is poo poo garbage and will make you want to die. But to be fair popping cleanse would help your ADC. (But why are you bringing Cleanse and not Exhaust?)

You also get Mantle of Majesty which will let you play the backseat gamer role you’ve always dreamed of being. As a bonus action you can start to command (the spell) anyone you please to do as you say. Approach, Drop, Flee, Halt... awn there’s not Pet command!

LEVEL 17 - BARD 7

At 7th level you get... nothing! :D Okay you get 4th level spells to be fair but I’m far too lazy to talk about spells anymore.

LEVEL 18 - BARD 8

ASI. Check my suggestions for Feats to take from Warlock 8.

LEVEL 19 - BARD 9

Your Song of Rest increases to a d8 now which honestly probably doesn’t help you much at this point. You do get 5th level spells now though, which you can cast through your Warlock slots.

LEVEL 20 - BARD 10

And for our capstone we finally get Magical Secrets! There’s one specific spell we want: Haste. It’s super zoomies! Other than that you can buy Redemption with Aura of Vitality (which kinda works more like Fiora’s ult but w/e) or maybe an Ardent Censor of sorts with Spirit Guardians? You can grab Mikael's Crucible with Warding Bond, or perhaps contract some help from Zillian and grab Death Ward! There are literally dozens of spells to choose from and I recommend searching online if you don’t know what to take.

Your Bardic Inspiration also increases which means more Mantle of Inspiration health, and you get 2 more skills to give Expertise! Honestly at level 20 it’s a little too late to really choose between Expertise but know that any skill you have Expertise in will have a +12 modifier! You’re essentially guaranteed to succeed at any check with a skill you have Expertise on at this level unless your DM is Twisted Fate and is using Loaded Dice on you.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Cover to Cover - You’ve got a comedic amount of utility between ten cantrips and the ability to cast any ritual spell you can get your paws on. Along with Jack of All Trades and Expertise covering any skills you may need you’ll never be without a cat trick.

You and me, we got this! - Between Bardic Inspiration, Song of Rest, Elemental Resistance, Protective Wish, and a decent array of buff spells (tbh I kinda wish I took more :P) you can be an incredibly useful asset to your teammates.

You look like unscratched furniture! - One place this build particularly excels is in the crowd control department. Between Enthralling Performance, Mantle of Majesty, Genie’s Entertainment, and a huge array of debuffs you’ll never be lacking in a way to keep your allies safe and the enemies away from you.

CONS

Oh! Sunbeam ahead! - While I tried my best to avoid taking too many Concentration spells I have to admit that a lot of the nicer stuff will demand your attention: Hold Person, Haste, Polymorph, Bigby’s Hand, and Mire the Mind (Slow) all require concentration, so you can only have one up at a time. While you still have options the concentration requirement is heavy.

We’ve got 6 left... or was it 5? - If you’re roleplaying the build properly you’ll have absolutely horrendous health. No additional Constitution modifier combined with a d8 hit die means that you’ll have about a hundred health at level 20, and a Power Word Kill is all it’ll take to end you. Additionally your ability modifiers (with the exception of Charisma) are rather low which means low saving throws and a low AC with only Light armor. Know that you can sometimes sacrifice roleplay for the sake of a more viable build - having good skill checks is great and all but it doesn’t matter if you’re dead.

Full AP? - This build is pure support and I skipped on a lot of the strong damage options that you could’ve taken. In particular this is a max Charisma Eldritch Blast Warlock which doesn’t take Agonizing Blast, a concept most would consider an act of treason. A lot of the invocations I picked more for flavor than actual utility and you’re more than welcome to change Mire the Mind or Tomb of Levistus for something more useful.

But you’re not here to steal all the fame: tag along, help your team, and they’ll help you find your master! Just don’t ask the Triton what they taste like or else they’ll give you the spray bottle.

(Artwork by Chelserella on DeviantArt.)

ALTERNATE BUILD OPTIONS

More Warlock Levels?

The only thing we really get out of level 10 Bard is Magical Secrets, but if you’re not interested in getting Haste all you really need for this build is 3 levels in Bard for Mantle of Inspiration (though 5 levels is ideal for Font of Inspiration.)

You can take more levels in Warlock to get Mystic Arcanum, more Warlock slots, and more Eldritch Invocations. You also get Collector’s Call which is a very strong ability that’s sadly held back by its casting requirement. If you’re planning on going heavier on Warlock instead of splitting this build 50 / 50 than get expertise in Persuasion! You’re absolutely going to need it to cast Collector’s Call reliably.

The other important thing to note is that Warlock honestly doesn’t have that many supportive spells in its kit, especially when you’re not playing Divine Soul. Dropping Bard levels means you’ll lose spells like Mass Cure Wounds. You’ll also have far fewer spell slots to cast your lower level Warlock spells, which does mean more 5th level spells but it also means less fun with spells like Misty Step, Dimension Door, and Polymorph.

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Word Count: 5180 Author’s Note: This replaces that Five Minute Ficlet that got so long and out of hand. Now it’s longer and more out of hand but at least it can have a read more thing, right?

XXX

You flipped through the patient chart and furrowed your brow. You had to have missed something. So you flipped through the file again, slowing down to check each page thoroughly. You hadn’t missed anything, the digital transfer wasn’t corrupted and you only had a transfer order for the patient coming in from the Enterprise. You didn’t even know what was wrong with him. Just his name and and order to transfer care to Yorktown Surgical Clinic 3.

You sat down at the console and hailed the Enterprise MedBay.

“Hi, it’s Y/N from YSC3. I’m just going through the file you sent on Ensign Crawford. I don’t appear to have Doctor’s Order or a med reconciliation,” you addressed the nurse when he answered.

“Med rec and orders are sitting on Doctor McCoy’s desk, awaiting signatures. He’ll send them when he has a chance.” The nurse was dismissive. “We’re still dealing with the aftermath of an away mission, so we’re really busy and I need to free up these beds. The Transport should be arriving in twenty.”

“I can’t actually accept transfer of this patient without orders,” you pointed out.

“I’m sure you can handle it,” he countered. “McCoy is a little busy to be fussing over orders.”

You cocked an eyebrow in surprise and nodded. You were about to say something more when a medical transport came through the bay doors of the clinic with the patient in question. Your jaw dropped.

“I hope there’s more information with him than you’d already sent me,” you huffed angrily.

“His chart is on the PADD I sent with him.”

“Tell Doctor McCoy I need those orders stat,” you barked and closed the channel. You bit back your displeasure and smiled at the transfer team, taking their report quickly and reassuring the patient that you had him well in hand.

“I’m just going to do a quick assessment on you, Ensign, and then see if I can’t track down some info on you. Before we start, can you tell me how your pain is?” As soon as you saw him, you knew his admitting diagnosis, at least. Above the elbow traumatic amputation of the arm. From the look of the tissue, it was fresh and likely still painful.

“I missed my morning dose of hydrocortilene because of the chaos of the transfer. I’m solidly a nine of ten,” he offered. You grimaced and quickly worked through your intake assessment.

Once you had the Ensign settled with a snack and drink, you excused yourself to the nurses station to hail the Enterprise, but this time you went right over the nurse’s heads and attempted hailing the Chief Medical Officer. When he didn’t respond, you hailed the Captain.

“Captain Kirk, I’m sorry to need to contact you, but I have been trying, unsuccessfully to contact Doctor McCoy for quite some time,” you began.

“He’s been quite busy, Lieutenant, but you’re in luck, he just walked in the bridge,” Captain Kirk smiled and gestured to the man standing beside him. You were stopped in your tracks for a moment, the man was so handsome. When you just stared dumbly at him he raised an eyebrow and tilted his head.

“Lieutenant?” You hadn’t offered your name in your hail, choosing instead to identify only your location.

“Sorry,” you snapped out of your reverie. “I have Ensign Crawford here with no orders. He’s complaining of pain. I need a med reconciliation and new orders on him, stat, and I was flipping through his PADD and have an incompletely history on him.”

A scowl settled across Doctor McCoy’s face, and he turned to face Captain Kirk.

“This is why I told you I want that jackass out of my MedBay,” he snapped. He glanced over his shoulder to look at you. “I’m sorry, Lieutenant, he wasn’t supposed to be transferred without my go ahead. I’ll be right on that. For now, give hydrocortilene, thirty milligrams by hypospray.”

“Thank you sir,” you nodded and ended the communication to take care of Ensign Crawford.

Ensign Crawford responded well to the pain meds and you watched from across the clinic as he drowsed and finally fell asleep. Content that he was settled, you began to work on his chart. Orders had arrived while you’d been administering the pain medication and you were impressed by Doctor McCoy’s quick response. When Ensign Crawford wakened with a strangled scream, you dropped the PADD and rushed to him. He was sweaty and his pupils were blown wide with fear.

“Ensign?” You asked from a distance. You’d learned your lesson as a young nurse never to get too close to someone coming out of a nightmare or delirium. It was a quick way to get badly hurt. His eyes took a moment to find you but then he was able to focus and you saw him relax a little.

“I had a nightmare. The pain is back,” he moaned. “It’s worse than when the damn Gorn tore it off.”

You sighed and nodded. You’d seen this so many times with amputations, as the nerve endings tried to make sense of the injury to them, pain got worse, or phantom pains started. It was just your luck that right as the young man had been discharged properly into your care that the clinic was short the doctor for the day. You were going to have to contact Doctor McCoy again. You hailed the Enterprise again and were pleased to see the handsome physician’s face up on the screen nearly immediately.

“What now, nurse?” He asked, a little gruff. “I’ve sent you comprehensive orders and discharged him to the clinic doctor.”

“My apologies, Doctor McCoy, we are down a Doctor today and since you’re familiar with the patient, I felt you were my best course of contact. The ensign is having nerve pain -“

“This is new,” he interrupted, a question in his voice.

“According to the charting from nursing, this has been ongoing for three days. The most recent charting indicates a query about substance seeking. There’s not notation as to whether you were made aware,” you replied. “As he has nearly nothing for PRN meds, I felt that you would have better insight.”

“I’m just pulling up his chart,” Doctor McCoy replied. “The boy is an uncomplicated case, and it was a stand-out to me that he wasn’t having nerve pain. I’m quite upset to see this was ongoing with no communication to me. I’d like to try low dose gabapentin. It’s old fashioned, but you should be able to synthesize it on-site with no issues. I’ll transfer orders to your PADD.”

“Thank you, sir. Sorry to be a bother. I haven’t processed the orders completely, but I’ll let you know if I need any further clarifications,” you smiled.

“I look forward to it,” he winked before closing the frequency, and your heart gave a silly little jump that told you you were interested.

“Too bad he’s on that damn ship,” you grumbled and went back to the ensign’s chart.

XXX

You unfortunately had no further reason to contact the handsome doctor. His orders were clear and Ensign Crawford stabilized easily once his pain was controlled. The Clinic doctor returned the following shift and soon the young ensign was healthy enough to ship to Promixa to be fitted for a prosthesis. Doctor McCoy became a happy memory as the days rolled on and new patients became your priority.

You were gazing out the clinic window, staring at the stars as the gleamed through the dome surrounding Yorktown. Yorktown was amazing, and while it was in space, it wasn’t exactly what you’d been thinking when you’d joined Starfleet. You had wanted to see space, deal with frontline injuries and triage, use your trauma skills. There wasn’t a lot of excitement on Yorktown.

“You’re unhappy, aren’t you?” Dr. Alanna was the most perceptive of the doctors in the clinic. You turned to face her.

“Not unhappy,” you denied. “Bored though?”

She smiled in response. “Take a few days leave and blow off some steam. Have fun, get wild.”

“Well, if you insist,” you laughed. She nodded.

“Take a hypo with some electrolytes in it, and do something shameful,” she winked.

“Might be hard here,” you retorted with a snort.

“I have faith in you,” she laughed.

XXX

You were lost your first day of leave. Leaving behind Earth had meant leaving behind some of your favourite activities, like hiking. You weren’t sure if you missed the climb or the inevitable leap into a cool mountain lake to cool off more, but you missed everything about your outdoor adventures. Yorktown had a climbing gym, and a number of swimming pools, but it wasn’t the same as seeing the world spread out beyond a mountain peak.

As a result, you floundered on that first day, so uncertain of what to do with your free time that you just puttered in your quarters. The place was spotless by mid-morning, and you found yourself completely at odds with the idea of another three days without working.

You flopped on the couch and picked up your PADD, accessing the services and amenities section of the Yorktown welcome guide. There was a Federation run shuttle tour of the nearby planets that looked interesting, and before you were even sure it was what you wanted, you were booked on the afternoon shuttle.

The shuttle ride was bumpier than you’d expected, and you felt a little nauseated by the time you landed, but as soon as you stepped out into the fresh air and warm sunlight of the planet, your complaints were forgotten. The tour guide gave you a basic rundown - the planet was uninhabited, but did have a small Federation outpost and mine on the surface.

You logged your intended plan with the guide and headed out into the wilderness. Using the map provided when you’d registered, you knew it was a short walk to the base of the nearby mountains, and the guide had promised amazing views from the summit.

The day was humid, and warmer than you were used to, but the sun felt so good on your skin that you pressed forward. Once at the summit, you took in the beauty of nature and relaxed. It was quiet and peaceful on the mountain.

When you stood to head back to the shuttle, a wave of dizziness crashed over you and you stumbled, and fell, hitting your head on the rocky ground. Your eyelids grew heavy and you could have sworn you saw a group of people approaching as you drifted out of consciousness.

Consciousness was slow in returning, first with a persistent ringing in your ears, then glaring red behind your eyelids. When you finally came awake, it was to the sound of guttural speech that you didn’t understand.

So much for the planet being uninhabited except by the Federation outpost. You lifted your eyelids just enough to see and hopefully not let the aliens who had you know you were awake yet. You carefully moderated your breathing to replicate the slow pattern of sleeping and took in as much as you could through without moving.

You were in a makeshift camp, from what you could see. A craft that was unmistakably a shuttle, although of unfamiliar construction, was a few metres away, an awning of torn fabric staked out as what could only be a temporary protection from the sun. You were laying in the dirt at the edge of a forest clearing, a blanket thrown across you. Your head wasn’t uncomfortable, so you guessed they were trying to see to your well-being.

You opened your eyes cautiously, and slowly pushed yourself to sitting. The two aliens sitting nearby looked up. They were vaguely humanoid in appearance.

“You wake, good,” one of them spoke, their words short and heavily accented. “Federation?”

“Yes. On leave. I wanted to hike,” you offered. The first one to speak looked as though he was struggling with the translation of your words.

“Recreation,” his companion offered. You nodded. You gestured to the camp.

“Did you crash?”

“The atmospheric pressure disrupted the shuttle. Safe landing but engines failed,” the second replied. “Need supplies.”

“We can’t be far from the base,” you offered. “Help me back and I’m sure -“

“No,” the first interrupted.

“But -“

“We are not Federation,” the second offered by means of explanation. You furrowed your brow and looked harder at the two, trying to identify them from any xenoanatomy texts you’d used in school. Prominent ridged brows, sharp teeth, dark bronze skin.

“Are you Klingons?” Neither responded, and for the first time you had the sense to be scared. “I had to file a plan with the tour operator, they will be looking for me.”

The first made a face. “We exchange you for parts.”

“Or we could just head to the base and -“

“Enough! You are a prisoner, and we will use you as leverage to get what we need,” the second snapped. “The Federation will not just give us the parts to repair our shuttle. But in exchange for your life -“

“I think you overestimate my value,” you laughed, fear making you bold. “I’m just a nurse. I work on a starbase. I’m no one special.”

“They will negotiate,” he replied confidently. “Even now, a Federation ship has come into orbit. You will see.”

XXX

The frustration you felt building inside you clashed with a niggling drop of anxiety. Together, the emotions made it impossible for you to sit still, and you fidgeted and fussed until you finally couldn’t handle it anymore, and rose. Both men jumped up, one pointing a weapon at you.

“I need to move,” you offered. “And I need to pee.” They both looked confused and you sighed. “Eliminate waste?”

Recognition crossed the second Klingon’s face and he nodded, gesturing his head toward the shuttle. “There’s a latrine around the back.”

You stretched your arms above your head and bent from side to side, working some of the stiffness out of your joints before making your way around the back of the shuttle. As promised, a very rudimentary pit toilet was there and you were careful in relieving yourself. You took the opportunity to assess the layout of the land and realized the Klingons hadn’t been thinking about securing a prisoner when they set up their camp. They’d only been thinking about securing themselves.

While there were good sight lines from the front of the shuttle, the back, where you were, was butted against a low hill and completely obscured a natural break in the trees. It would be easy for you to sneak away under cover of darkness. You’d just had to convince them you were trustworthy enough to continue not guarding.

You returned to the campsite and noticed the firewood was getting low.

“Would you like me to go collect deadfall? It will surely get cold tonight,” you offered. It took a moment to translate your question and then the second Klingon nodded.

“We will go together,” he agreed, gesturing in the opposite direction of the shuttle. You followed him into the woods, and started collecting fallen branches. “You have some survival training.”

“All Starfleet members have,” you nodded. “But I also grew up in a very outdoor oriented family. We used to camp and hike a lot.”

“For fun?” He asked.

“Of course. For fun, and family time, and fitness,” you nodded as you piled your arms with wood. He tucked his weapon away and started loading his own arms. You continued on in silence until you were nearly back to the camp.

“I had understood that humans did not care for rough living,” he offered. You laughed.

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to live out in the woods, but I enjoy being in nature on my terms. I love the fresh air, and the beauty. Relying on my own skills makes me feel stronger,” you offered.

“And yet humans pursue only peace,” he commented. You laughed again.

“Maybe now. But human history is filled with war and bloodshed,” you corrected. He looked more angry than usual, but you thought it might be that he was attempting to understand the strange dichotomy you’d offered.

“I hope you eat meat, or you will be hungry.” The subject change was abrupt and you nodded, dropping the firewood near the fire. At least they were going to feed you. The entire experience didn’t stand up to what you had learned about Klingons in xenoanthropology. These Klingons are more gentle and kind than you were expecting. Then again, they were vulnerable sitting ducks on a Federation occupied planet, so keeping their hostage safe and healthy was probably important to their escape plans.

They offered you a bitter meat that made you swallow back gags of disgust. It wasn’t rancid or rotting, but tart and somewhat acidic. The drink they offered you wasn’t much better, but you knew if you were to escape, you’d need to be nourished.

Darkness fell and the Klingons took watch shifts, with the less friendly Klingon disappearing into the shuttle to rest. You huddled near the fire, stoking it with small twigs to keep it alive but keep the light down. You got up to use the latrine and your companion sat up, alert.

“Latrine,” you offered, disappearing behind the shuttle. You returned quickly, hoping it would cause him to let his guard down. A short while later, you rose again, and he picked up his head again and watched as you disappeared behind the shuttle wordlessly, returning quickly.

The third time you rose, he didn’t move. His eyes followed you, but as soon as he saw you were walking toward the shuttle again, he looked back to the fire and added wood to the embers, stoking it better than you had. You could hear the wood snapping as it caught. Good. He would be temporarily blinded by the increase in light.

You crept up the hillside, obscured by the shuttle and disappeared into the blackness of the forest. As soon as the light from the camp dimmed, you sped up, less cautious about the sound you were making. And once your eyes fully adjusted to the dark forest, you began to run as quickly as you could. By the time the Klingon shouted in alarm at your absence, you could barely hear him.

XXX

You ran until your lungs burned and then ran a little further, finally stopping when you reached a clearing you knew would be dangerous to be caught in the middle of. You tried to get your bearings as you skirted the perimeter of the trees, but the night sky was unfamiliar, and you had no real idea what direction you’d been running. When the Klingons had carried you back to their encampment, they hadn’t brought your rucksack. You had no comm, no tricorder, no weapon, nothing.

You forced your breathing to steady, concentrating on any sound that was coming from behind you. There was nothing. Klingons were not known for their stealthy ground attacks, but you still knew your own silence remained important. These Klingons hadn’t seemed like the Klingons you’d read about in textbooks. So maybe they were able to silently track you.

As you came to the far side of the clearing, you continued into the woods again, and found yourself climbing up. It wasn’t an arduous climb, but your feet slipped a few times on the loose scree of the slope. You finally reached the top of the hill, and reached up to pull yourself over the ledge. To your surprise and amazement, it was the summit of the mountain you’d climbed. And your bag was still there, where it had been discarded.

You tore into it, first grabbing your canteen and drinking deeply of the cold, clean water. Your rummaged a little further and pulled out a protein bar and had to force yourself to chew slowly as you dug your comm out. You should have had great signal to the tour base, but nothing was coming in. You pulled your bag over your shoulder and started to descend the mountain, using the marked trail you’d first climbed, searching the channels of your comm as you went. You finally managed to secure a connection, and thought absently of the Federation ship the Klingons had referenced.

“This is Lieutenant Y/L/N hailing orbiting Federation starship, please respond,” you addressed, crossing your fingers. There was a few moments of silence and then a response.

“This is Captain James T. Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise, what is the purpose of your hail?” The familiar captain’s voice made your body relax.

“It’s a little embarrassing Captain, but I had an accident while on leave, and then was taken hostage by -” your voice cut off with a scream as phaser fire blew past you. You dove to one side of the trail and began to run. “I’m under fire from Klingon aggressors, please beam up!”

“Did you say Klingons, Lieutenant?” Kirk’s voice crackled over the comm.

“Sir, you’re breaking up, please beam up!” You replied, dodging branches and stumbling down the hill at breakneck speed.

“This is Lieutenant Commander Scott of the Enterprise. I’m having some trouble triangulating your location, can you get out the trees, hen?” A thick Scottish accent came across your comm, crackly and broken. You gave it a look of disbelief.

“I’m under fire! You want me to dodge out of the trees into the direct line of fire so I can be shot at and maybe beamed up?” You screamed into the comm.

“Well when you put it that way, it sounds a bit daft, but yes,” he replied.

“Well, that dishy doctor better be on duty to patch me up!” you screamed and ran back onto the path, immediately needing to dodge another phaser blast. You shrieked and started to lose your balance. The edge of the path, you knew from the daytime, led to a steep fall to the bottom of the mountain should you topple that way.

“Much better, just getting a lock on you now,” came the Scot’s brogue.

“I hope you’re good at catching moving objects Mr. Scott!” You dove off the edge of the cliff and flipped onto your back midair, pulling your phaser and shooting up into the black of night. You felt a little like an action hero instead of a space station nurse, and thought if you had to die, at least it was going to make a good story. Right as you resigned yourself to the splat on the ground below, the golden beams of the transporter wrapped around you and you thudded down onto the solid flooring of the transporter bay. “Ow.”

“You’re a bit of the cowboy, aren’t you? That was quite the exciting transport, hen.” With those words you were able to identify Mr. Scott. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, getting your bearings. Everything hurt. As you breathed in though, you noticed a particularly painful area on your shoulder. “Oh, shit, you’ve been hit.”

“It figures,” you groaned and closed your eyes, letting the black welcome you.

XXX

You wakened to the steady rhythm of your own heart beeping above you. You craned your neck and checked your vital signs and sighed with relief. Everything was normal. Which meant you’d received prompt and adequate care. You tried to sit up and an alarm sounded. With a roll of your eyes, you silenced the alarm and dangled your legs at the bedside, tentatively checking the range of motion in your arm. A nurse approached in haste.

“You shouldn’t be up,” she scolded, a warm smile on her face. “Although I understand. It sucks to be the patient.”

“Thanks. I think I need to pee,” you mumbled, somewhat groggy still. She nodded and helped you to your feet and then over to the toilet.

“I’m sure this set-up is no different than the starbase. Ring the bell when you’re ready and I’ll help you back to bed.” She pointed at the button on the wall and left you alone. You took in your appearance in the mirror and were a little horrified. Your hair was a greasy mess, you had a number of bruises on your face and the bandage on your shoulder was showing signs of your wound still draining. Phaser wounds were a bitch to treat, so you weren’t surprised that it wasn’t completely healed yet.

You grated against needing help back to bed, and slowly made your way back on your own, only to be stopped by the familiar handsome features of Doctor McCoy.

“What exactly do you think you’re doing, sweetheart?” he chastised, his tone lazy and oozing charm. You looked him in the eye and shrugged.

“I needed to pee?”

“I’ve had the pleasure of Christine Chapel in my medbay for long enough to know she wouldn’t have left you to your own devices. Why didn’t you ring the call bell?” He countered, slipping his arm under your good one to help you back to the bed.

“Because I’m perfectly capable of ambulating to and from the toilet,” you groused. He smirked as he pulled his tricorder out and scanned you.

“I’m going to peel back that bandage on your shoulder and take a look at the wound. While you were out, we did two passes with the dermal regen, but it’ll need some more. The muscles will be sore for quite some time, and I’ll give you some physiotherapy exercises for range of motion. No overdoing it. I’ve been in touch with your superior, and she’s extended your leave. Captain Kirk wants to keep an eye on you until the Klingons that did this are caught. He found their camp, but they’d abandoned it and torched the shuttle,” he offered. It was so much information that your brain swam.

“Wouldn’t it be safer to drop me back at Yorktown?” You asked.

“Well, darlin’, where I come from questioning your captain’s orders is called insubordination,” he retorted. You heard Christine scoff from the nurse’s station and tilted your head.

“In my experience, most nurses know when their docs are lying,” you countered. He smiled and said nothing, finishing the assessment without a word. When he stepped back from you, you gave him an expectant look.

“Well, I might have told him I need to keep an eye on the healing,” he finally admitted.

“Any doctor could -”

“Your file said you applied for exploration missions before your placement at Yorktown,” he interrupted.

“I didn’t exactly join Starfleet to work in a clinic,” you nodded.

“I just happen to have an opening in my crew right now,” he explained. “I thought it would be nice to keep you around, see how you get on with the staff. I already like you.”

“Oh, you do?” You asked, wincing as he palpated the skin around the phaser wound. He mumbled an apology and administered a pain med by hypo.

“I like the way you handled Crawford. I liked the way you handled hailing the captain to get me. Your C.O. seems to think the sun rises and sets on you. She said yours is the only clinic she is comfortable leaving without a doctor of the day,” he explained.

“How long have you been looking at my records? I can’t have been out for that long,” you demanded.

“Since that first day,” he admitted, a light flush rising over his cheeks. You looked away, secretly delighted that he’d noticed you, even if he was going to be your CMO, which meant nothing could ever happen. You had a healthy respect for watching a nice looking man work. And the Enterprise was the flagship.

“I’ve heard Jim Kirk plays fast and loose with the rules,” you commented. McCoy smirked and gave you a non-committal little shrug.

“Depends on what the rule is,” he replied. You could feel the heat searing your cheeks but decided to say what was on your mind. Trusting your gut had got you saved, after all.

“Fraternization?”

McCoy’s smirk spread into a grin and his eyes twinkled with mischief. “A five year mission is not the time to be worried about who’s bunking with who, sweetheart. He’s only really strict about officers and ensigns. You’re a lieutenant. Don’t go messing around with the ensigns or yeomen and -”

“I have my eye on a lieutenant commander, actually. He’s a bit gruff and can be cranky when he thinks his time is being wasted, but he’s always been pretty sweet to me. I mean, I’m a little broken right now so I can’t chase after him. But do you think playing the helpless invalid might help me?” You interrupted.

“I have it on good authority that he likes a woman who’s a challenge,” he replied, his voice going husky. He stepped a little closer and pushed the hair off your face. “Strong enough to hold her spine straight when a doc tries to tear her down. Clever enough to escape from Klingons. Tough enough to jump off a cliff to try to get away. That’s the kind of woman that interests me. Not some wilting flower.”

“Stupid enough to try to kiss you, even though you might be her CO soon?” you asked, tilting your head up to his. He answered by dropping his mouth against yours.

“Smart enough to see an invite,” he murmured between gentle kisses.

“I hope you like stubborn too because I’m going to be pushing hard for a discharge,” you laughed.

“I would call that motivated and goal-oriented.” He pulled back and a soft smile was on his face. It made him look younger. “As eager as we both seem, I would like to recommend we take it slow. We’re only two years into the five. We’ve got lots of time.”

“And we’re only just responding to chemicals right now,” you agreed. He pressed another kiss to your mouth and stepped back, as Captain Kirk entered, making a face that made you realize he’d seen the kisses.

“Chemicals and Kissing? That’s never a good thing,” Kirk commented. “Did you come into contact with any strange plants? Weird pollen?”

You laughed and shook your head. “Doctor McCoy was referring to plain old sexual chemistry, Captain. No sex pollen.”

Kirk shook his head. “Bones never has -”

“That’ll be enough, Jim. This is different, and it’s not sex pollen,” McCoy interrupted, scowling. “Back to the bridge with you, or I’ll catch you up on your vaccinations.”

Kirk arched an eyebrow and let out a soft huff of amusement before throwing up his hands in surrender and backing out of MedBay. McCoy looked back at you, and his features softened. “Time for you to rest. We’ll run the regen again this afternoon.”

You settled back against the firm mattress of the BioBed and nodded, closing your eyes. The interaction had left you tired, but ultimately hopeful that you’d met your match in the handsome doctor.

[rainoverthemountains]

More Twist Story-chapter 3

As usual, Twist and all of Twistfell belongs to @itsladykit

Summary: There’s a cure for LV (probably). It’s completely safe (probably). It’s a highly unpleasant experience (definitely). Twist only cares about that first statement. He probably should have paid a little more attention to the other two. But what does it matter? He’s getting what he wants, and he has the best friends and family in any universe to help along the way.

Things get rather bad for Twist in this chapter.

As a side note, I'm assuming that even though they usually refer to each other by their nicknames, when under major stress or not thinking clearly the monsters tend to slip and refer to monsters they’ve known their whole lives by the names they grew up calling them. On that note, when Twist refers to Sans, he’s talking about Blackberry, not Undertale Sans, in case that’s not clear.

chapter 1, chapter 2

Chapter 3

Twist obligingly climbs back into bed, forcing down every aggressive, or even defensive, thought that enters his mind. This is not the time to freak out.

“So what ‘xactly are ya gonna do, sweetheart? Maybe try a little warnin’ this time.”

Iggy takes his soul back over to the desk with the rather terrifying clamp, more carefully this time. “I told you, I need to break off some of this calcification so I can get the monitor wires in, and the needle for the injection.”

“And ya need that,” he grimaces as he points to the clamp, “ta do that? Don’ really seem necessary. Could prob’ly break some off myself by hand if you don’ wanna do it, darlin’.”

“No, no, this is much better for distributing the force and avoiding bruising, and we’d need some serious force to break through all of that. This way the blades slice in and take off most of it with very little pressure. Don’t worry, I’ve already optimized the procedure on other high-LV subjects-”

“And what’d they have ta say ‘bout it?”

“-and this way is by far the best for avoiding complications from excessive calcification,” she finishes with a glare for the interruption.

“Fine, fine, jus’… jus’ get it over with, then.” He lays down on his side, facing her so he can see, then clenches his sockets shut, then realizes that’s worse than watching, so he opens them again. 

He jolts when she sets his soul in the clamp. Sensations are dull through the calcification, but he can still feel little razor sharp teeth digging into the surface. He rolls onto his back to grip the bars on both sides of the bed. No need to freak out. He’s had worse before. This is nothing compared to what will happen if he keeps going the way he is. It’s worth it. A cure is worth anything. Absolutely anything. There’s nothing she could do that wouldn’t be worth-

“Fuck!” he shouts as the clamp closes and twists, tiny razor blades digging in and slicing, hooking in somehow and tearing the hardened outer layer off of his soul. It’s over in a second that feels like an eternity, and then there are hands on it, pulling it off the fucking spikes, and he convulses as they shift and pinch, pulling off little chips and pieces that were left behind. It’s excruciating, and violating, and as soon as he gets control of his limbs he lunges, not stopping for an instant when he falls to the floor, crawling when he can’t gather the coordination to walk, furious, desperate to get it back, take it away from her, how is this happening? That part of his life is done, he doesn’t have to lie here and take this, he won’t take this, he’ll fucking kill her, doesn’t have to take this again, he’ll show her he’ll pay her back for everything she ever did, he’ll-

“Stop right there!” a voice that isn’t hers commands, and the surprise of it is enough to jolt him partway out of his rage. “Move one more inch towards me, and I’ll rip your soul right in half!” She, Iggy, not Muffet, not any of the Muffets, there are no Muffets here, holds his soul out as if to demonstrate. He freezes, and remembers why he’s here. She had… she’d needed to get the calcification off, so she could get a needle in, so he could get the LV treatment he clearly needed, but…

“Why… what? Why did…?” With the adrenaline fading, shock sets in. He stares up at his exposed soul, its surface raw and bare looking, and can’t imagine what possible purpose there could be for that. He hates how it normally looks, but this is just wrong. She shouldn’t be touching it like this, she shouldn’t be touching it at all! She shouldn’t, he’ll make her stop, he’ll – No! Listen, she’s talking, maybe she’ll say why…

“I know it seems a little extreme, but it’ll be so much easier this way. It looks like a lot of damage, but it’s actually all on the surface, with no deep bruising at the core, which is what we really need to worry about because that’s where the medicine will work. I could have just taken off a little piece, but it’s just as easy to get it all off this way, and now it’ll take a lot longer to re-calcify so we’ll have more surface area to work with for longer, so we won’t have to do this again while the medicine is working, which would be a lot harder to do.”

That makes sense, except, “couldn’ta asked what I wanted? Or at leas’ warned me?”

“Would you have cooperated? You barely cooperated as it is. Now, are you done trying to kill me? If so, we should get you back in bed so we can get on with the treatment.” She holds his soul in one hand as she reaches the other down to help him up.

“Be careful with that!” he snarls, patience gone. “Ya keep threatenin’ me with it, but at this rate, yer gonna drop it an’ dust me by accident.” Steadying himself on the lab bench, he pulls himself up and staggers back to the bed.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous. I’ve worked with a lot of souls over the past few years and I’ve never dropped one.”

Twist snorts. “Whatever. Got any more plans ta make me try‘n kill ya, or are we ‘bout ready ta get on with it? Not sure how many more times that ‘I’ll break yer soul’ shit’s gonna work if ya keep breakin’ it anyway.”

“It’s not broken, just a little more exposed than you’re used to. But you’re right, we should get on with this. Just let me get the monitor wires in and then I’ll give you the injection.”

After the removal of the calcification, the wires are surprisingly painless. Just a small twinge, and then he’s treated to the disturbing sight of his soul with wires sticking out of it. Looking at it too long makes him slightly nauseous, but he isn’t looking away after all that.

“What’d’ya need ta monitor, anyway?” Do monsters have vital signs to keep track of? He realizes he doesn’t actually know.

“HP, mostly, and I’ll be tracking some stats that won’t mean anything yet, but will help me map the course of the treatment once I correlate them with my other data. That part’s not anything you need to worry about, just know that I’ll be tracking your HP and I have plenty of doses for direct magic infusions when it gets low. Of course, it’s best to keep it high enough with food that you won’t need any infusions, but it’s important to have them there as a backup.”

“Can’t ya just check me like normal?”

“I could, but this way provides more up-to-the-minute information, and since I’ll already be taking data on the treatment progression I might as well monitor HP at the same time. Like I said, I’ve already optimized this procedure, and this is what works best. Now, unless you have any more questions, let’s get started.”

“Fine, great, what’d’ya want me ta do?”

“Nothing, just lie there, and stay in bed this time, while I inject the medicine. Once it’s in your soul, it’ll run its course on its own, so your soul will be able to stay in your ribcage unless you need a magic infusion or you mess with the monitor wires.”

“Jus’ get on with it, then,” Twist sighs. This is going to suck. Definitely not the worst thing he’s ever been through, there’s a lot of competition for that, but it’s going to suck.

“Fine then. You might want to brace yourself. If you attack me while I’ve got a needle in your soul, you’ll probably end up with a whole syringe in your soul instead.”

“Yeah, yeah, not gonna attack ya. This’s the part I signed up for, ain’t it?” Nevertheless, he tightens his grip on the bars. He turns his head away as she picks up the syringe, but finds once again that he can’t stand not knowing when the needle is coming. He turns back to look just in time to cringe as the needle reaches the surface of his soul. He tenses in dread as the needle breaks the surface, only to feel… almost nothing. Like the wires, the needle feels wrong but is too small to be painful. Twist sighs in relief. Maybe this won’t be so bad. He can take this. This is nothing. He’s had so much worse… And then the world dissolves into agony. 

Heat floods his soul, like someone lit it on fire. Bubbling, boiling fire, like boiling in acid, is it acid? Did she put acid in his soul?! Distantly, he hears himself screaming. He knows it’s him because he feels the screams ripping from his throat, but that’s all he knows as the world condenses around that single point of pain. Vision goes black, hearing goes silent, he no longer feels the bed under his back, just the frantic thrashing of his own limbs and the wrongwrongWRONG feeling of foreign hands around his melting soul. Something brushes his ribs, Don’t touch me! and then blessed relief from the wrongness as his soul settles back into place. Relief from the wrongness, but not from the pain. The pain won’t end. The pain will never end, not until he melts away, melt away the broken, corrupted, ugly soul burnitburnitBURNIT it burns please it burns it hurts please stop please someone help make it stop. 

This is eternity. It lasts an eternity and it will continue for many more eternities until he melts away, and slowly he’s fading. Fading away and the pain isn’t leaving but he is, drifting away like dust on the wind like drowning in the river, fighting at first but slowly losing strength and giving up the fight. Drown, he could drown, just sink beneath the surface and the burning will stop. No more pain, no more him. No more him, no that’s not… Don’t want that. That’s not… but the thought won’t hold together, too much pain and too little strength to hold anything together. Then suddenly more wrongness. Wrongwrongwrong what’s wrong… why… what’s happening? Hands on his soul, taking it! No, give it back give it back give… it… too hard to fight. Too hard, too tired… need… can’t… His soul fills with crackling energy and suddenly he’s awake, wide awake, no please no more don’t want to be awake but don’t want to… die. All his shattered thoughts crystalize around that one idea, he almost died, he doesn’t want to die. This could kill him. Is this killing him? Nonono don’t let it kill him he wants to live. Live with the pain and the wrongness and the melting and the dark? It’s so dark and he’s alone and it hurts. No that’s not the world it’s not he’s been here before not quite here but like this before. It’s been like this and he got out! He got out and he won and he got Sans back and… Sans! Where’s Sans? Sans needs him. Sans would want him back even if he’s melting even if he’s already melted, even if he’s melted away to nothing and there’s nothing left. But it hurts and it’s WRONG something wrong on his soul someone’s holding his soul where is his soul? Right there! It’s right there above him, someone’s standing over him holding it. It’s her she wants it she took it she can’t have it she can’t take anything else from him give it back!

“Gif ba’. G’ba’k.” He tries to shout, but his voice is too hoarse for more than a whisper and he can’t form the shape of the words.

She might say something as she approaches but he can’t hear it. All he sees is a hand reaching out to grab him, the same hand that’s hurting him and touching his soul, let go please let go. He grabs the hand that’s reaching for him and digs his claws in with all his strength. She yelps, oh fuck he’s in for it now, and withdraws her hand, but not before giving back his soul. The relief of its return momentarily blocks out the pain, enough that he can realize the pain has receded enough that there are things in the world that aren’t pain. He waits for the melting to return, but no, if anything his soul is cooling, now more like metal in the hot sun than battery acid at the sun’s core. The same can’t be said of the rest of him. His ribs are radiating enough heat that his arm hurts where it’s resting against his lower ribs. He tries to move it away but it won’t obey him. The bed under his back may as well be an oven. He tries to roll to a cooler spot but can’t move any part of his body. His throat is the worst, like someone has scraped it with sandpaper. The more the pain fades, the more he realizes how thirsty he is. Water, he needs water, but he can’t even whisper to ask for it and now he’s alone.

***

Iggy finishes wrapping her arm in her office and then goes back to check on her research subject. He’s stopped twitching, so he might have passed out. He seems harmless, but he’d seemed pretty harmless before he clawed her arm down to the bone, so she stays well out of reach as she checks his stats on the monitor. He’s back up to half his full HP with the compound fully integrated into his soul. The start is bad for every subject, but she hasn’t come so close to losing one since before she perfected the formula. The difference between an LV of 9 and 17 might have more of an effect than she’d thought. Or maybe this is a subject-specific problem. No way to know for sure without more data.

She’s downloading the data from the monitor to a flash drive for transfer and further analysis when she notices Twist staring at her. He’s not doing anything, just staring. His jawbone moves as if to say something, but no sound comes out and he just keeps staring. It’s disturbing.

“Hello, do you need something?” She tentatively asks. His browbone furrows in… some sort of expression. She can’t really tell what it is.

“Are you ready to answer some questions about your experience?” This gets no response, so she steps closer.

“Some of this data looks a little patchy. I’m going to take a look at the wires to make sure they’re all in there correctly. I’m not sure how well I reconnected them when you pulled them loose earlier. I was more concerned with getting some magic into you when your HP dropped. I had to pull your soul out to inject it directly, and then when I tried to put it back you attacked me,” she babbles as she reaches into his ribcage to pull out his soul again. Twist snarls and tries to grab her. Iggy leaps backwards. Well, she was right about being careful.

“Is that really necessary?” she snaps. “I’m trying to help you! Do you want to dust because no one knows your HP is dropping? I’m not checking you 24 hours a day, so you need that monitor to be working.” Twist cringes at her anger and plasters his arms flat against the bed. “That’s better. Keep them there. Now let’s see what’s going on here.” She reaches for his soul as he watches with widened sockets. When she touches it he gasps and his whole body jerks. 

“Hmmm. Overly sensitive now, it seems. I’ll have to keep that in mind. All of the wires are in place, so what’s causing… oh, there! One of the tips is sticking out the other side. That explains it. I’ll just pull it back in… what’s it stuck on? Oh, that’s fascinating. The outer layers are already re-calcifying around it! I should have expected it, but if it’s this fast then why didn’t it happen sooner? I had no trouble moving the wires a few minutes ago… Something about the treatment must temporarily reduce calcification. I wonder if it’s just the heat? No, it can’t be that hot. I must not have noticed with the other subjects because their natural re-calcification wasn’t this fast. It’s not happening anywhere else, so the wires must provide a surface for the molecules to organize around, like some kind of seed crystal. This could be helpful. If we can keep the wires in place long enough for calcification to form around them, it should keep them from coming out again. Here, I’ll just break up the part that’s holding the wire in the wrong place and pull it back in. It’s thin enough that I should be able to do it manually.” She glances at Twist’s face for confirmation and sees his teeth gritted and head turned away, face half-buried in the pillow. His body is shaking and hands are clenched, but still obediently held at his sides.

“Oh, sorry, does it still hurt for me to touch it? Here, I’ll finish up quickly and put it back.” He moans when she breaks off the calcification near the misplaced wire, but otherwise does not react. He relaxes slightly when she sets his soul back inside his ribcage, but still doesn’t move.

“There, now we can leave it alone for a while. Once the wires are locked in place I shouldn’t have to do anything else with it unless your HP drops to critical levels again. I don’t really expect that to happen; this first part is the most damaging, HP-wise. If it becomes a regular thing I might need to put in some kind of a port for easy access, but we won’t resort to that unless we have to. You seem more responsive now, so do you think you could answer some of my questions? We can just stick to yes or no for now if you don’t feel up to talking.”

Twist’s shoulders twitch, which Iggy decides to interpret as agreement, so she pulls out her list of questions. Twist answers some of them with nods or head shakes, although it isn’t really clear if he understands all of what she’s saying or if he’s actually even intentionally answering. After several questions in a row go unanswered she gives up.

“That’s alright, we’ll try again later. Just get some sleep for now,” she suggests as she gathers her materials. As she stands to leave, she hears a small sound.

***

“Mmmmm. W…” Twist breaks into coughing, but tries again. “Wah…” He winces as the sound strains his throat.

“What is it? Do you need something?” Iggy asks impatiently. Twist flinches at her tone but tries again.

“Wah… da. Wa er. C’n… pls?” It’s too much to say at once, too many sounds, too little breath. But he’s so thirsty.

“Wa da? Oh, water, of course! Sure, you can have some water. I probably have a water bottle around here somewhere. That shouldn’t be too hard to drink from.” Iggy goes off in search of a water bottle while Twist struggles to stay conscious. He’s so, so tired, the room around him fading in and out of focus and spinning. He’s so grateful when Iggy returns and puts the tip of a water bottle in his mouth, even when it comes out too fast and most of it runs down his jawbone. Even that is wonderful as the water cools his overheated bones. He wants to ask for more on his ribs but can’t find the words. After far too short a time Iggy pulls the bottle away and wipes off the water dripping down his chin. He tries to protest but his protest goes unheard.

“There, is that better?” she asks without giving him time to answer. “We should probably try a straw next time. I have a lot of work to do now, so you just get some sleep. The monitor will tell me if anything changes.” Then she picks up her materials and leaves. Twist drifts for a while, trying to remind himself why he’s doing this, and what this even is, and avoid other memories that it’s bringing to mind. Eventually he drifts into a restless sleep.

chapter 4