#so why do i feel like i betrayed a friend???????
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mxtxfanatic · 2 days ago
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Every time I see mxtx fandom discourse about how villains and antagonists “had no choice” in doing evil and how we should feel sympathy for this cowardice because “it’s not like they (actual factual ruling class) had the real power to break the mold,” I think of:
Si Xiyan, imprisoned disgraced cultivator, being told that she can be accepted back as the most beloved disciple of one of the most powerful cultivation sects in the world if only she would kill her baby, and her choosing to ingest the poison on her own so that her child could be born safely at the cost of her life.
Gongyi Xiao going against his entire sect to rescue Shen Qingqiu from the Water Prison despite already having an increasingly tenuous relationship with the sect leader and his daughter.
Shen Qingqiu, certified scum villain, risking his life over and over again to do right by Luo Binghe even though he is certain that Luo Binghe will repay his kindness with death.
I think of:
Lan Wangji, a clan heir, fighting his own beloved family to protect one of the few people in the cultivation world willing to stand up for what’s right, and accepting being whipped for it.
Jiang Yanli, a clan heir’s widow, running onto a battlefield and giving her life for her little brother.
the Wen siblings, labor camp escapees and remnants of a reviled clan, sacrificing themselves so that their protector wouldn’t be killed for the crime of self-defense.
Mianmian, a servant only just elevated to becoming a disciple, publicly defecting from her sect in protest of them slandering a hero.
I think of:
Yin Yu, a banished god, choosing death over regaining his godhood by harming Quan Zizhen—the shidi he’s always been told to had “stolen his rightful status” in life.
the street performer, a poor man who could only make money performing humiliating entertainment for the well-off, choosing death over saving his own life by harming the man who for all intents and purposes stole his business.
Mu Qing, a staple god for about 800 years who had betrayed friendship for the approval of other gods, finally choosing to make an enemy out of the ruler of the heavens over betraying his former friend again, even if it meant that said former friend would never believe that he didn’t betray him again.
Of all of these characters, some of them were people of privilege, but many of them were the very bottom of their social hierarchies. Some are staring down the edge of the knife with their only hope of survival and living well being to make the immoral choice. Nevertheless, they chose to be moral people by putting themselves on the line rather than sacrificing others for personal gain, a choice that no antagonist—all of whom are people of power and means even if they didn't start out that way—makes in an mxtx novel. “But everyone would have hated them!” is not an excuse for participating in evil. “But they would have died otherwise!” is not an excuse for participating in evil. If other characters of less means could do it, if their peers could do it, then why didn’t your fav?
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elikajinnie · 15 hours ago
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Steal Your Way To My Heart - N.R (Part 2)
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P: Bankrobber! Ni-ki X Fem!Reader
Warnings: Teasing, Pursuing, Obsession, Jealousy, Mentioned Murder, Possessiveness, Flirting, A tiny bit of manipulation, Ni-ki just wanna spoil you.
Synopsis: Your life was boring—until a visit to the bank changes everything. Now you find yourself under the attention of one of the criminals. Now what do you do when the criminal's attention isn't just on the job but on you?
a/n: part 2 was HIGHLY requested... soooo here it is!! :D i wrote this instead of studying..
part 1 here
--
After meeting Ni-ki at the club, there had been nothing from him. No texts, no calls, no slyly delivered gifts. Just silence.
Radio silence from him for days.
At first, you told yourself it was a relief, finally some peace from his attention. But eventually that relief began to feel less like freedom and more like… emptiness.
Every time you grabbed your phone, your thumb hovered over the screen, the urge to text him stronger than you wanted to admit. But then you’d stop, heart sinking with a mixture of shame and stubbornness. What would it even say about you if you were the one to reach out first? Ni-ki had always been the one to text first, always the one pushing, teasing, pulling.
And now, without him doing that, everything just felt weird. Off.
You sighed, tossing your phone onto the couch beside you. The silence was eating you up in ways you hadn’t expected. It was ridiculous. Stupid. He was a criminal. You shouldn’t even be thinking about him, let alone missing him. But here you were, feeling that strange, hollow ache in your chest every time your phone didn’t buzz with a message.
And you hated how much it mattered to you.
The hours stretched on, the silence suffocating. No matter how much you tried to distract yourself, Ni-ki lingered in your thoughts. His smirk, his voice, the way he looked at you—it was all on an endless loop in your mind.
You’d find yourself overanalyzing every interaction you’d had with him. Did you say something wrong? Did your rejection at the club finally push him away? Was this… it?
You rolled over on the couch, staring blankly at the TV that played some mindless show you weren’t even paying attention to. Your phone sat on the coffee table, and you glared at it like it had personally betrayed you.
Why was this bothering you so much?
Before you could stop yourself, you grabbed the phone, your fingers hesitating over the screen. Maybe just a casual message? Something simple? But no matter how many times you typed something, it all sounded wrong.
Why haven’t you texted me? Is this some game to you? Are you okay?
You groaned, deleting every draft. Nothing felt right. Besides, if you texted him first, it would be admitting you cared. And wasn’t that the one thing you swore you wouldn’t do?
But as the days passed, the emptiness only grew. Even your friends noticed your distracted state, asking if you were okay. You lied, of course, brushing it off as stress or lack of sleep. How could you explain that you were hung up on a guy who was a literal criminal?
On the eleventh day of silence, you finally caved.
Just as you were about to type out a message, your phone buzzed in your hand. Your heart jumped, hope flaring so quickly it scared you. And when you saw his name, or rather the cryptic alias he used in your phone, pop up on the screen, you felt a wave of relief wash over you.
"Miss me yet?"
Your lips parted, a mix of annoyance and something dangerously close to joy bubbling up. Of course, he’d break the silence with something like that.
You stared at the message for a moment before typing back, fingers flying across the screen.
"What happened to you? Finally get bored?"
His response came almost immediately.
"Bored? Never. Just wanted to see how long it’d take for you to crack."
Your jaw dropped, a wave of irritation hitting you.
"You’re insufferable" you shot back.
"And you’re cute when you’re annoyed" he replied, followed by a winking emoji.
You couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips, no matter how hard you tried to fight it.
"Don’t disappear like that again" you typed before you could stop yourself, your heart pounding as you hit send.
The pause between his messages felt like forever, but when his reply came, it made your chest tighten.
"Don’t worry, doll. I’m not going anywhere."
You leaned back against the couch, phone clutched in your hand, staring at his last message before you typed out a reply.
"Good. Because it was getting kind of quiet without you annoying me."
The typing bubble popped up instantly, and somehow, that made you feel lighter.
"Admit it. You missed me."
You rolled your eyes, but a smile tugged at the corners of your lips.
"Don’t flatter yourself."
His reply came quick, like he was waiting on your response.
"Too late. Flattering myself is kind of my thing."
You huffed out a laugh, shaking your head as you typed back.
"That’s obvious. But seriously… what have you been doing?"
There was a slight pause this time, and when his message came through, you could almost hear his voice in your head.
"Wouldn’t you like to know?"
You sighed, fighting the urge to play into his games.
"Yes, actually. That’s why I’m asking."
"Touché."
A few seconds passed, and then another message came through.
"Let’s just say I had some… work to take care of. But I’m all yours now."
Your heart skipped at his words, and you hated the way your stomach flipped at such a simple line.
"All mine, huh? That’s bold for someone who disappeared for almost a week."
"Bold is my middle name, sweetheart."
You snorted at that, trying not to imagine his cocky grin.
"Sure it is. Anyway, why’d you text me tonight?"
His response was instant again.
"Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you."
Your breath hitched, and you blinked at the screen, unsure how to respond. Before you could type anything, another message came through.
"Don’t look so shocked. You’re pretty unforgettable."
"You can’t even see me right now."
"I don’t need to. I know exactly how you’re reacting."
You bit your lip, trying to suppress the blush spreading across your face.
"You’re impossible."
"And yet, here you are, still talking to me."
You didn’t have a comeback for that. The conversation kept flowing, his words teasing yet always laced with something that felt too genuine to be ignored. Every time you thought it would end, he sent another message.
"Still awake?"
"What are you doing tomorrow?"
"What’s your favorite place to get coffee?"
The questions weren’t just idle small talk. They felt intentional, like he wanted to learn every little thing about you.
And you let him.
You answered every question, sometimes throwing one back at him, and the hours ticked by faster than you realized. By the time you glanced at the clock, it was well past midnight.
"You’re keeping me up" you finally typed, even though you weren’t really upset.
"Not my fault I`m fun to talk to" he replied.
"You’re ridiculous."
"Ridiculously charming, I know."
You laughed softly, shaking your head as your fingers hovered over the screen.
"Goodnight, Ni-ki."
The reply came almost instantly.
"Goodnight, doll. Dream about me."
You set your phone down with a sigh, but with a smile on your face.
--
It had been a slow day at work, the kind where you counted down the hours and prayed for something to happen. But you weren’t exactly expecting him to walk through the doors.
Ni-ki strolled in casually, hands stuffed into his pockets, but it was impossible to miss the dark bruise across his cheekbone or the small cut at the corner of his lip. His usual cocky demeanor was still intact, though—shoulders back, head high, like he hadn’t been in some sort of fight.
Your eyes widened as you instinctively took a step toward him. “What the hell happened to you?”
He shrugged. “Nothing I couldn’t handle.”
You gave him an incredulous look, quickly closing the distance between you. Your hands moved on their own as you gently touched the side of his face, your fingers brushing against the bruised skin. He winced slightly but didn’t pull back, his gaze steady on yours.
“Ni-ki, this isn’t nothing. Who did this to you?”
He tilted his head, clearly enjoying your concern. “You worried about me, doll?”
You huffed, pulling your hands back. “Of course, I’m worried! You look like you got hit by a truck.”
His smirk widened. “Not a truck. Just some idiots who thought they could take us down. We had a little… disagreement.”
You crossed your arms, glaring at him. “A disagreement?”
“Yeah, you know, some guys in another town thought they could muscle in on our business.” He leaned closer, his voice lowering to a conspiratorial tone. “Let’s just say they won’t be trying that again.”
Your stomach twisted at the implication, but the relief that he was standing here in one piece outweighed everything else. “Are you okay?” you asked softly.
He blinked, clearly taken aback by the sincerity in your voice. Then, that smug grin of his returned. “You’re really worried about me, huh? I knew you liked me.”
You rolled your eyes, stepping back, but before you could retreat any further, his hands shot out and grabbed yours. His grip was firm but gentle as he pulled you close, so close you could see the faint stubble on his jaw and the glint of mischief in his eyes.
“Don’t pull away,” he murmured, his voice softer now. “I kinda like it when you fuss over me.”
Your heart skipped a beat, and you tried to look anywhere but at him. “I’m not fussing. I just—”
“You just care,” he finished for you, his lips turning into a softer smile. “It’s okay, you can admit it.”
You scoffed, trying to ignore the heat rising to your cheeks. “You’re impossible.”
“And you’re adorable.”
For a moment, the two of you just stood there, you wanted to pull back, to regain some semblance of control over the situation, but something about the way he was looking at you made it impossible to move.
“Thanks for worrying about me,” he said quietly, his usual teasing tone replaced by something almost… genuine.
You swallowed hard, nodding slightly. “Just… be careful, okay?”
He grinned again, the playful Ni-ki back in full force. “Careful’s not really my thing, doll. But for you, I’ll try.”
You sighed, trying to focus on getting your work done, but you could feel his eyes on you. Ni-ki hadn’t left, of course. He leaned casually against the counter, arms crossed, like he had all the time in the world to loiter around and watch you. Every now and then, you’d glance up, only to find him smiling at you with that infuriatingly smug expression.
You huffed, brushing past him with a stack of folded clothes, determined to ignore him. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” you asked, not bothering to look at him as you placed the clothes neatly on a display table.
“Not really,” he replied smoothly, his tone laced with amusement.
“Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, recovering or something? You’re walking around like you didn’t just get into a fight.”
Ni-ki chuckled, his voice low. “I’m tougher than I look, doll. Besides…” He trailed off, and when you turned to glare at him, you caught him staring again, his gaze lingering in a way that made your stomach flip. “You make a great distraction.”
You rolled your eyes, muttering under your breath as you moved to another rack. But even as you tried to focus on reorganizing the clothes, you couldn’t help but feel the heat of his presence. He was so close, always just within arm’s reach, and the empty store wasn’t doing you any favors.
“Do you just follow me everywhere now?” you asked, trying to keep your tone light.
“Not everywhere,” he replied, his voice dipping into something playful. “Just the places I know you’ll be.”
“Creepy much?”
He laughed at that, the sound rich and unbothered. “C’mon, admit it—you liked that I showed up.”
You turned to retort, but the look in his eyes stopped you. They were looking at you so fondly.
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy being with you,” he said quietly, his voice barely above a murmur.
The sincerity in his tone threw you off, and for a moment, you were at a loss for words.
Eunseo suddenly stepped out from the storage room, a bright smile plastered on her face as she noticed Ni-ki leaning casually against the counter. “Oh, hello there! Welcome to our store! Do you need any help?” she said, her voice taking on a tone that was just a bit too cheerful, her steps purposeful as she approached him.
Ni-ki, to his credit, barely acknowledged her, his dark eyes still lingering on you as if Eunseo didn’t exist. “I’m good, thanks,” he replied flatly.
But Eunseo didn’t seem to pick up on his disinterest—or maybe she just didn’t care. “Are you sure? We’ve got some great new items in stock. Maybe I can help you find something?” She gave a little laugh, leaning on the counter and tilting her head in a way that screamed flirting.
You stiffened, pretending to busy yourself with a rack of folded shirts, but your hands were a little too rough as you refolded them. The way she was looking at him, the way her voice dripped with sugary sweetness—it was irritating. And Ni-ki wasn’t exactly pushing her away, which only made it worse.
“Really, I’m fine,” Ni-ki said, his tone remaining neutral, though you noticed the slight smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
“Oh, come on,” Eunseo pressed, stepping even closer to him. “You’re just standing here all alone. Why not let me show you around? We’ve got some accessories that would look amazing on you.” Her hand brushed against his arm, and that was the final straw.
You slammed the shirts you were holding onto the rack a little louder than necessary, making both of them glance your way. “Eunseo,” you said, trying to keep your voice calm, though you could feel the heat of irritation bubbling beneath the surface, “don’t you have something to do in the back?”
She blinked, clearly caught off guard by your tone. “Oh, um… I just thought I’d help out here. He looks like he could use—”
“I said,” you interrupted, your eyes locking with hers, “don’t you have something to do in the back?”
Eunseo hesitated for a moment before giving you a slightly puzzled look. “Alright, alright, I’m going,” she said and glanced back at Ni-ki as she retreated. “If you change your mind, just let me know.”
When she was gone, you turned back to Ni-ki, who was now watching you with an amused expression.
“What?” you snapped, crossing your arms over your chest.
He raised his hands in mock defense, his smirk widening. “Nothing. Just didn’t expect you to get all territorial over me, doll.”
“I wasn’t being territorial,” you shot back, though the heat rising to your cheeks betrayed you.
“Sure you weren’t,” he teased, stepping closer to you, his voice dropping to that infuriatingly low tone. “But for the record, I’m not interested in anyone else. You’ve got my full attention, whether you like it or not.”
You huffed, trying to ignore the way your heart fluttered at his words.
“Now, will you finally admit you like having me here?” he said with a grin, leaning in just enough that you could feel the warmth of his breath.
You groaned, shoving him lightly toward the door. “Get out before I regret not letting her deal with you.”
Ni-ki laughed, his voice rich and unbothered, but he allowed you to guide him toward the exit. Before he left, though, he paused, glancing over his shoulder at you. “See you later, doll.”
And just like that, he was gone, leaving you to deal with the lingering embarrassment—and the undeniable fact that you did like having him around, no matter how much you tried to deny it.
--
The evening air was cold when you stepped out of the store, bag slung over your shoulder as you headed toward the bus stop.
You were halfway there when the low rumble of a car engine made you glance over your shoulder. A sleek black car slowing down to match your pace. The window rolled down, and you weren’t even surprised when you saw him—Ni-ki. His lazy smirk greeted you as he tilted his head.
“Need a ride?” he asked casually, his voice smooth and teasing.
You hesitated, clutching your bag tighter. “I’m fine. The bus is just up ahead.”
“Come on, doll,” he coaxed, resting one arm over the edge of the open window. “You really gonna make me watch you freeze out here? Just get in.”
You sighed, glancing around the empty street before finally relenting. “Fine,” you muttered, walking to the passenger side.
As you climbed in, the smell of leather and cologne hit you, mingled with the faint scent of mint. The interior was just as sleek as the exterior, glowing faintly from the purple neon underlighting. Ni-ki barely glanced at you as he started driving again, one hand on the wheel, the other resting casually on his thigh.
You couldn’t help but steal a glance at him, the sharp line of his jaw illuminated by the city lights. The way he gripped the wheel with one hand, the relaxed confidence —it was unfair how good he looked.
“See something you like?” he drawled, his tone playful.
You snapped your gaze forward, your cheeks heating. “No.”
“Liar,” he teased, and before you could respond, his hand slid from his thigh to yours, resting lightly. His thumb brushed against the fabric of your jeans, and the bubbling feeling in your stomach intensified.
“Ni-ki—” you started, your voice faltering.
He glanced at you briefly, his smirk deepening. “Relax, doll. Just making sure you’re comfortable.”
“Comfortable?” you echoed, your voice tinged with disbelief.
“Very,” he said, squeezing your thigh gently before returning his focus to the road.
You stared at him, speechless, as his fingers stayed on your leg, warm and steady. The fluttering in your chest wouldn’t stop, no matter how much you tried to will it away.
“So,” he said after a beat, his tone casual but still carrying that flirtatious edge, “how was your day? Other than me stealing all your attention at work, of course.”
You rolled your eyes, thankful for the change in subject. “It was fine. Slow, boring—until you showed up and made it worse.”
He chuckled, the sound low and rich. “You wound me, doll. But don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you.”
You gave him a side-eye but said nothing, unable to hide the small smile tugging at your lips.
The car eventually pulled into the parking lot of a cozy yet elegant Japanese restaurant, the warm glow of lanterns hanging outside casting a soft light across the entrance. You furrowed your brow as Ni-ki parked and turned off the engine.
“What are we doing here?” you asked, your tone skeptical.
He leaned back in his seat and gave you a charming grin. “Dinner.”
You blinked at him. “Dinner?”
“Yeah, you and me,” he said nonchalantly, already unbuckling his seatbelt.
Before you could protest, he was out of the car and walking around to your side. He opened the door, holding it like a perfect gentleman, one hand resting casually on the top of the car as he peered down at you.
You sighed, crossing your arms. “Ni-ki, I didn’t agree to this.”
His face didn’t falter. Instead, he cocked an eyebrow, leaning slightly closer. “You didn’t say no, either.”
You opened your mouth to argue, but the way he was looking at you—smug yet so effortlessly charming—made you groan. “Fine,” you muttered, grabbing your bag and stepping out of the car.
He stepped back to give you space, closing the door behind you. “There’s my girl,” he said teasingly, earning a sharp glare from you.
He only chuckled as he led the way into the restaurant, holding the door open for you.
The interior was warm and inviting, the scent of freshly cooked dishes wafting through the air. The restaurant wasn’t overly extravagant, but it wasn’t casual either. It struck a balance between elegant and cozy.
Ni-ki guided you to a table in the corner, away from the more crowded areas. The staff seemed to know him, greeting him with familiarity as he nodded in return. You followed reluctantly, sitting down across from him.
“Seriously, Ni-ki, what’s all this about?” you asked, frowning at him as you placed your bag on the seat beside you.
He shrugged, leaning back in his chair with that easygoing confidence of his. “Figured you deserved something nice.”
You gave him a look, not buying it. “Out of the goodness of your heart?”
“Exactly.” He smirked, leaning forward this time, resting his forearms on the table. “That, and I like spending time with you.”
His words caught you off guard, and for a moment, you didn’t know how to respond. You looked away, pretending to study the menu placed in front of you.
Ni-ki chuckled softly, clearly amused by your flustered state. “Relax, doll. It’s just dinner.”
You bit back a retort, choosing instead to focus on the menu and your heart sank at the prices. Everything looked so luxurious—and expensive. You frowned, setting the menu down.
“Ni-ki,” you began hesitantly, “this place is... a bit much. I don’t think—”
He raised a hand, cutting you off. “Don’t even start.” His tone was firm yet playful. “You’re here because I brought you here. So, the meal’s on me. Order whatever you want.”
You still hesitated, feeling a pang of guilt. “I don’t know. Maybe I should just go for something simple—”
Ni-ki’s expression shifted, his lips pressing into a thin line as he gave you a mockingly disappointed look. “Really? After I go through all this trouble, you’re going to pick the cheapest thing on the menu?”
As if on cue, your stomach grumbled, betraying you. You blushed deeply, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. Ni-ki’s eyes sparkled with amusement.
“See?” he said, his tone gentle but teasing. “Your stomach agrees with me.”
Reluctantly, you turned your attention back to the menu, deciding to pick something that looked good rather than the cheapest option. After a few moments, you made your choice, pointing to a dish that caught your eye.
“I’ll have this,” you said, hoping it wasn’t too extravagant.
Ni-ki leaned over to see what you had chosen, a satisfied smile spreading across his face. “Good choice. I approve.”
You rolled your eyes playfully. “Well, I’m glad it meets your standards.”
He chuckled, signaling the waiter to take your orders.
Once the waiter left, you looked at him. “You really didn’t have to do all this, you know.”
He tilted his head, his gaze softening just a fraction. “Yeah, I did.”
You looked away and quickly busied yourself with adjusting the utensils in front of you, unsure how to respond. Ni-ki didn’t press, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before he leaned back in his seat.
“Just sit back and enjoy, doll. You deserve it.”
You glanced up at him, meeting his gaze, but he was already leaning back in his chair, a relaxed, almost casual expression on his face.
After a few moments, the food arrived. The waiter placed the beautifully plated dishes in front of both of you. The smell was enough to make your stomach rumble again.
You hesitated for a moment before picking up your chopsticks, trying not to seem too eager. When you finally took a bite of the food, your eyes widened in surprise. It was incredible—perfectly seasoned.
Ni-ki watched you intently, a soft smile tugging at his lips as you took another bite. "Good?" he asked, leaning in slightly.
You nodded, your mouth full but your eyes sparkling. "It’s amazing," you said, before taking another bite.
He chuckled lightly, clearly pleased. "I told you. You deserve the best."
You couldn’t help but laugh, even as you continued eating. The meal went on like this, with easy conversation between you two. It felt... normal, in a way. He asked about your work, and you told him a little about how things had been going.
Ni-ki, on the other hand, kept his answers short, more focused on making you feel comfortable than discussing anything serious. Every time he glanced at you, there was something in his gaze, like you were the most important thing in the room.
It was strange. Sitting here with him, eating this expensive meal, having casual conversation—it didn’t feel like you were sitting across from a criminal who had held you hostage twice. For a moment, it almost felt like you were on a normal date, one where you could let your guard down.
You paused, lifting your glass of water to your lips, trying to gather your thoughts. Could this really be the same guy? The one who had dragged you around and threatened your life?
Ni-ki’s voice interrupted your thoughts. “You’re quiet. What’s on your mind?”
You smiled faintly, shaking your head. “Nothing. Just... this feels weird, that’s all.”
He raised an eyebrow, leaning forward. “Weird good or weird bad?”
You thought for a moment before responding. “Weird good,” you admitted, feeling a little embarrassed but also relieved to say it aloud. “It’s hard to reconcile... you know, everything that’s happened with... well, this.”
Ni-ki’s smile softened, his eyes glinting with something unreadable. “I get it. I get it more than you think.”
"You’ll get used to it," he added softly, before taking another bite of his meal.
After finishing the last bite of your meal, you leaned back in your chair, feeling pleasantly full and a little more at ease than you had all night. Ni-ki caught your eye as he signaled the waiter for the check. The moment the receipt was handed to him, your gaze instinctively fell to the amount, and your eyes nearly bulged out of your head.
The total was outrageous.
You tried to keep your reaction in check, but your lips parted in disbelief, the number far higher than anything you’d ever imagined spending on a meal. It wasn’t just expensive—it was excessive.
Ni-ki noticed your expression and let out a low chuckle, his voice teasing. “You’ve got a look on your face, sweetheart. You okay?”
You quickly straightened up, trying to play it cool, but you could feel your cheeks turning slightly pink. “That’s... that’s a lot,” you muttered, trying to make it sound light, though you were still trying to process the shock of it.
“Don’t worry about it,” he replied easily, waving a hand as if it was nothing. “It’s all taken care of.”
You couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty. “I didn’t mean to... I didn’t expect—”
“Relax,” he interrupted smoothly, smiling that smug little smile of his.
Before you could say anything else, he stood up, paying the bill and handing the waiter a generous tip. You watched him, still trying to wrap your mind around the amount he had just spent.
You weren’t used to this kind of attention, this kind of treatment.
As you got up from the table, Ni-ki took your hand, his fingers brushing against yours with an ease that almost felt possessive. You didn’t resist as he led you out of the restaurant, his other hand holding the door open for you.
The moment you reached the car, he opened the passenger door for you and gestured for you to get in. His hand lightly pressed against your back as you slid into the seat, and he closed the door after you, before going around and sliding in smoothly beside you.
“Relax, doll,” he said softly, as he started the car, the engine purring to life. “Let’s get you home.”
As the car sped down the quiet streets, you tried to focus but your thoughts kept spiraling. The money. It was stolen. Ni-ki was a criminal. Everything that had happened—the meal, the expensive gifts, the constant attention—came with a price. And that price was his life, his world. His actions were all tainted by theft, violence, and chaos.
You tried to remind yourself of that, to convince yourself that you should be repulsed. You should feel anger or disgust. But none of it bubbled inside of you.
It didn’t make sense. The pieces didn’t fit. You told yourself over and over again that you should hate Ni-ki, that you should despise the life he led, but each time you tried to convince yourself, you found your resolve crumbling.
Why didn’t that feel like a bigger deal?
His actions were a blatant disregard for everything you stood for, for the world you’d grown up in. He was a criminal. A dangerous one. And yet, as you glanced over at him in the driver's seat, you couldn’t bring yourself to feel disgusted or scared.
Why didn’t I feel any different?
He was using stolen money. He’d manipulated you into situations. And yet, somehow, here you were. And you were no longer asking why it felt wrong—you were too busy asking why it felt right.
When the car came to a stop in front of your building, Ni-ki didn’t waste a second. He stepped out, walking around to open the door for you, his expression unreadable as he gave you a soft nod. You hesitated for a moment, still trying to collect your scattered thoughts, but then you got out of the car, following him up to your place in silence.
When you reached your apartment door, Ni-ki made a soft sound—almost like a chuckle. You turned to look at him, expecting some joke or comment, but he was holding something in his hand.
A ring.
You blinked, confused, your eyes darting between his face and the small, shimmering band he was holding. It looked so familiar. A glint of gold, with a small diamond set in the center.
"What is this?" you asked, your voice quieter than you meant it to be.
He eyes darkened slightly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "It's the same ring you were eyeing before the robbery. Thought you’d like it."
You stared at him, a mix of emotions bubbling inside you. The same ring? You weren’t sure whether to be shocked or frustrated. But before you could voice any of those feelings, he nudged the ring toward you.
You didn’t move immediately, still processing what was happening. But Ni-ki wasn’t waiting for you to decide. His fingers gently closed around your hand, and before you could protest or pull away, he slipped the ring onto your finger.
You didn’t pull your hand back, though every part of you screamed to. For some reason, it felt... right.
"There," Ni-ki said softly, his voice low and purposeful. "It’s yours now."
You didn’t know what to say. How to respond. All you could do was stare at the ring on your finger. You opened your mouth, but no words came out.
Ni-ki watched you, his eyes dark and intent, as you stood frozen, staring at the ring on your finger. He could see your inner turmoil, the hesitation in your eyes. "You know," he began, leaning in just a fraction closer, his breath warm against your ear, "you're really quiet all of a sudden. That’s not like you, doll."
Before you could respond, he tilted your head up by your jaw, his fingers gently but firmly pressing against your skin, forcing your gaze to meet his. You felt your heart race in your chest as he held you there, steady and unyielding, making sure you couldn’t look away.
His other hand slid down, intertwining your fingers with his, his hold tight. You could feel the warmth of his palm against yours, the pressure of his fingers against yours. There was no room to pull away.
He leaned in so close, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered softly, "You’re not going to run, are you? Not after all this. Not after everything we've been through."
You felt his other hand slide from your jaw to the back of your neck, pulling you even closer, if that was possible.
Ni-ki's voice softened, his words nearly a purr as they slipped from his lips. "You wouldn’t leave me, would you?" he asked, his fingers trailing down the back of your neck, sending jolts of warmth through your body. His eyes, intense and piercing, never left yours. "After everything we've been through... after all the time I've spent making sure you’re safe, looking after you..."
You couldn’t speak, your chest tight, your mind a blur of confusion and emotions. You were caught—stuck between wanting to run, wanting to get away, and something else... something that made it hard to think, to move.
Ni-ki seemed to sense your hesitation, and he pressed in closer, his lips hovering near yours. "I’ve been patient with you," he murmured, each word carefully measured. "I’ve waited for you to see it, to see that I’m good for you." His voice purred as if coaxing you. "I want to be good to you. You deserve it. I want to give you everything you’ve ever wanted."
His other hand gently cupped your cheek, forcing you to look at him, and only him. "You’re the biggest treasure in the world, doll," he continued, his voice barely more than a whisper. "And I want you."
Your heart hammered in your chest, and for a moment, you could only stare at him, the shock evident in your eyes. His words felt heavy—almost too heavy to bear.
Could you even run now? Could you really?
You couldn't resist and your gaze landed on his lips.
He caught your gaze, and a smile tugged at his lips, slow and knowing. "Do you want it?" he asked, his voice rough.
You blinked, confusion flickering in your eyes. "What?" you whispered, unsure of what he meant.
Ni-ki didn't answer right away. Instead, he hummed softly, a sound that vibrated deep in his chest, before his hand cupped your face. In one smooth motion, he leaned in, capturing your lips with his in a kiss so sudden, it stole your breath. His lips were warm, demanding, as he pushed you backward into your apartment, closing the door behind him with a soft thud.
You gasped into the kiss, the suddenness of it sending a wave of heat through you, but you didn't pull away. Instead, you melted into him, your hands reaching up to grip the front of his shirt, pulling him closer. His hands slid to your waist, holding you firmly, as if he was anchoring you to him.
You didn’t pull away, not because you didn’t want to, but because you couldn’t. You were drawn to him in a way that felt too strong to fight.
Ni-ki’s hands slid to your back, holding you close. You could feel the way his body moved with yours, the way he wanted you, the way he craved your every touch. It was impossible to resist, even though a small part of you tried to.
The kiss seemed to go on forever, his hands roaming over you, pulling you closer as he murmured into the kiss, his voice low.
“You’re the only one for me,” he whispered between kisses, his breath hot against your skin. “Only you. Always you.” His hands slid from your back to your hips, gently guiding you toward the couch. You didn’t resist; instead, you let him pull you down, your body sinking into the soft cushions as he hovered over you.
His lips never left yours, his hands tracing the curves of your body. “I’ll give you anything you want,” he murmured, his words coming in short bursts as his lips moved to your neck, his breath hot against your skin. “Anything, baby. Just say it.”
You could barely focus on anything but the way his body pressed against yours, his lips were everywhere—your neck, your jawline, your ear. He whispered more sweet words, each one making your heart flutter despite the uncertainty you still felt in the back of your mind.
“I wanted you from the moment I saw you,” Ni-ki confessed, his voice rough, as if he couldn’t control the emotions spilling out of him. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I need.” His lips found yours again, hot and demanding, as if he couldn’t get enough of you.
You didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to process everything that was happening. His words, his touch—they were consuming you, and it felt so good. It felt like nothing mattered but this moment, and it was so easy to get lost in him.
You pulled him back gently, your hands cupping his cheeks, holding him still as you locked eyes with him. His gaze was intense, searching yours.
With a small, teasing smile, you leaned in closer, your voice soft. “Show me how much you want me.”
A slow, pleased grin spread across his face as he closed the space between you. “I’ll show you that, and more,” he whispered, his voice husky with promise.
He slid close, his body pressed against yours as his lips found yours again.
As he kissed you, his words were a low murmur, barely audible against your skin. “I’m yours, doll. And I’ll make sure you see that.”
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nattikay · 13 hours ago
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alright, I’m aware that I’m making a serious response to a joke post here (at least, I hope it’s a joke post), but I’ve seen this idea thrown around enough times that I feel the need to address it.
No, Jake did not “betray his species for the sake of blue monkey cat girl p****”. He betrayed a greedy megacorporation because he had a genuine change of heart and came to believe that what said corporation was doing was morally wrong. The corporation which was, y'know, literally bombing villages for money.
And yes, the RDA does what it does for profit, not to “save humanity” or whatever else. Selfridge makes that abundantly clear when he tells Grace:
See this? This is why we’re here. Unobtainium. Because this little gray rock sells for 20 million a kilo. That’s the only reason.
Later, Quaritch, Selfridge, and Jake are discussing the unobtainium deposit beneath the Na'vi village, saying that they’re planning to take the unobtainium regardless, but that it would be better for the press if Jake can find a way to negotiate for it rather than to take it by force. When Jake expresses some skepticism about convincing the Omatikaya to leave their home, Selfridge responds:
Look, killing the indigenous looks bad, but there’s one thing that shareholders hate more than bad press, and that’s a bad quarterly statement. So find me a carrot that’s gonna get them to move, otherwise it’s gonna have to be all stick.
The RDA is in this for the money and the money only. They don’t give two craps about saving anyone, nor about who they destroy, as long as they get paid at the end of the day. THAT’S the organization Jake is betraying, not “humanity” as a whole. And given some of the truly horrific things the RDA does, he was completely in the right to turn against them.
As for Jake’s motivation being hurr ba durr imma clap some alien cheeks: no.
When Jake reveals the RDA’s plan to destroy Hometree to the Na'vi and Neytiri feels hurt, he tells her:
Look, at first, it was just orders. But then everything changed. I fell in love. I fell in love with the forest…with the Omatikaya people…and with you.
James Cameron has stated that the wording of this line was very intentional because it represents the progression of Jake’s arc. He becomes awed and fascinated by the forest first. Then he grows to love and respect the Omatikaya people and their culture. And then, last of all, he falls for Neytiri herself. Loving Neytiri was not the root of his motivation, it was merely the icing on the cake.
And once he’s grown to genuinely care for and value Pandora and its inhabitants, of course he’s gonna be horrified and angry about a greedy corporation destroying it for profit. He no longer sees the Na'vi as “fly-bitten savages that live in a tree” like Selfridge does, or “the hostiles” like Quaritch does, he sees them as his friends, as PEOPLE whom he knows and cares for and respects and admires. And the RDA is murdering them, destroying their home and their sacred sites. For money. No flippin’ crap Jake wants to turn against this company. Who in that situation wouldn’t?
In the extended edition of the opening scene, Jake states that “all I’ve ever wanted in my sorry-a** life was a single thing worth fighting for”. Well, he found that thing on Pandora. He found something worth fighting for, something worth defending, something beautiful and special. And by golly he’s gonna fight for it.
Boiling the whole thing down to “haha this freak betrayed his whole species just to bang some hot aliens” is such a massive disservice to his character arc and anyone who genuinely makes that argument was either not paying attention to the movie, or is just seeking to be an edgy contrarian arguing that the protagonists are the “real villains” and the antagonists the “real heroes” (spoiler alert: they very most definitely are not). thank u and good night
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thisischaostragic · 2 days ago
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i have been holding space for the Agatha finale (i’m in queer media) and am pleased to report that my feelings about it have shifted quite significantly. follow me, my friends, to a more or less coherent, very long text post at the end
primary thing: this show is very much about motherhood. idk why that didn’t totally register for me in the first half given how often they mentioned Nicky, but realizing this changed my analysis a ton. Billy doesn’t just remind Agatha of Nicky — Agatha loves Billy like a son. (i know “like a son” is an oversimplification, but I’m sticking with it for this post.)
with that, my thoughts on Agatha’s arc almost completely flipped. when Rio shows up in E8 and says she has to take Billy, Agatha is revisiting her deepest wound all over again. her reaction is harsh, but it’s not some long-simmering revenge plan or a calculated effort to hurt Rio. Agatha is literally just reacting to the fact that, after all of the almost-reconciliation, the love of her life is taking her son again. i think she was trying to get Rio to fight for her or to say the trade was too high a price and bend the rules. Agatha was trying to get Death to act only as her lover, and looks devastated when Rio actually walks away instead.
and so, when Agatha goes to the morgue trial and says that “sometimes, boys die,” she’s continuing that realization that Rio isn’t personally chasing her down and causing her grief. sometimes, death just… happens. and “out of Death, life” is largely about Agatha realizing that Rio did bend the rules for Nicky, but also doubles down on the Nicky and Billy parallels. both of Agatha’s sons were literally borne of Death and living on stolen time. loss is inevitable.
i think Agatha genuinely believed that Rio could have kept Nicky alive and chose not to. we know that Agatha blamed herself for Nicky dying (“the truth is too awful”). so Agatha, who was taught by her own mother that nobody would ever actually love her for who she is, probably thought that the love of her life just… didn’t love her as much as she thought she did. going back to E1, i think “you don’t have a heart” is equal parts about Nicky as it is about Agatha herself. her main takeaway is that everyone will betray her, even when they claim to love her, and so she hides behind power and a god awful reputation so that she can keep everyone at arm’s length and never get hurt again.
ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY: when Billy is about to die, Agatha almost retreats back into the version of herself she became after Nicky died, but she doesn’t. she turns around and faces the pain head-on.
and I want to take a second to appreciate how immensely hard that would be. Agatha spent centuries killing people so she could be powerful enough to stay numb. Agatha spent all of that time pushing away the love of her life, who still loves her, who still sees her fully, and who Agatha is clearly still desperate to return to. Agatha realizes, probably to absurd amounts of despair, that she was wrong about all of it. and she still turns around.
it’s not about Agatha randomly sacrificing herself for a last minute villain kind-of-redemption. it’s about Agatha breaking the cycle she’s trapped herself in for an unfathomably long time, admitting that she knows Rio couldn’t change the outcome, and acknowledging that, yeah, she actually does love this kid.
and honestly?? i don’t think Agatha becoming a ghost counts as killing her. she’s literally still around, doing stuff, picking up brooches (👀 Rio wya), and getting a second chance at… not motherhood, exactly, but caring for a child. (and a queer child! and the idea of Agatha, who has been queer since the *1600s*, getting to tell this gay kid over and over again that there’s nothing innately wrong with him makes me actually sob.)
HOWEVER! i maintain some criticisms. i think Jen deserved to have an actual fight with the doctor who bound her. (the oops! it was Agatha All Along twist was… complicated. i have mixed feelings. essay for another day, but i wanted Jen to have rage time that everyone was just cheering for.)
i needed Death lore. how is she physically with Agatha so often if, as Agatha states, 120 people die every minute? is she Death the cosmic entity, or are green witches sort of responsible for decay on earth?
some of the plot elements were severely under-developed, and frustratingly, the vast majority of the underdeveloped plotlines had to do with Agatha/Rio’s romantic relationship, Agatha’s mother, and Agatha’s reasons for killing people. (the fact that they said she’s a siphon in interviews and not once on the show will never stop baffling me lmao.) i find it very frustrating that a LARGE chunk of the underdeveloped stuff relates back to Agatha’s queerness in some way.
however… i am willing to be generous about some of that, because i find it difficult to believe that this *extremely queer* creative team actually just disregarded major queer plot elements. i am far more inclined to believe that they were operating under a hostile corporation and pushing as far as they could, and in that case, they did a fucking phenomenal job.
i genuinely think that the way they landed the show opens the door for them to… dare I say it? … give Agatha/Rio a happy ending?? ghost Agatha literally need only show up to Rio’s house or cave or dimension or whatever and be like “heyyyyy, yeah that kiss was forgiveness and also i’m solid enough to use my hands now” and it would be believable. the fact that it would take them only 15 seconds to give us two fucked up lesbians having their version of happily ever after is actually pretty cool
anyway, this is an abridged summary of how my feelings abt the Agatha All Along finale went from like a 4/10 rating to an 8/10.
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yongility · 2 days ago
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NEO TV # I LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I'M WITH YOU. (jaehyun x reader) 7/?
genre: angst, suggestive, gang au, rich kid au, enemies to lovers (kinda), a lil of fluffy stuff. slowburn, series.
warnings: drug use mentions, gangs, fights, use of weapons, adult language, illegal activities, cheating (not on the main couple), toxic family environment, addictions, manipulation, insecurities, illegal street racing, death mentions. jeno is jaehyun's younger brother, angst, smut and if I slip something my bad haha.
word count: +10k?
Warnings for this chapter: might be kinda long af cuz I don’t want to make this series long, so maybe we’ll have this chapter and two more for the finale. In this chapter we’re gonna get some description about Winwin’s trauma and accident, so it might be deep. Also NSFW, unprotected sex (don’t do it plssss), drug use, loooots of angst, police involvement (if that’s a warning lol)
To be dead while alive.
To live without feeling.
Or to watch your life pass before your eyes… unable to do anything. Winwin wasn’t sure which of those options was worse. Feeling his body trapped in a hospital bed, his mind awake but powerless, was a fate worse than death itself. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t find any comfort within his own mind to give him even the slightest peace… It was like being trapped in a glass bubble, unable to touch anything, not even the people who still kept him company to this day.
He wasn’t even aware of how much time had passed since the accident, since the last reaction he managed to have, and since the last time his body had been connected to his mind… it might have felt like an eternity. In his mind, his memories of life before the accident grew blurry, as if they belonged to someone else. All that remained was emptiness. The present was a thick fog that never cleared.
He wanted to be able to do something, for himself, for his friends… especially for the memory of his parents.
He felt trapped in his own body, it was impossible not to think that. With every new visitor, except Jaehyun, Mark, or Lucas, he hoped that it would be the day he could finally do something to change his current state, but he seemed to betray himself. It was as if his mind was disconnected from his body, as if his soul were somewhere else, because no matter how much he wished to overcome it and regain some control over his life, he seemed broken enough not to be able to. He was a spectator of his own life.
Sometimes, when his friends came to visit him, Winwin focused on their voices, on every word and request, but it was inevitable to think that he wasn’t able to give them anything in return. It was like being dead while alive.
The worst part of all was not only the inactivity of his body but the inability to let go of the guilt. The guilt of not being strong enough to avoid the accident, the guilt of not being able to save his parents, the guilt of not being able to recover and be what everyone expected of him. There was no comfort, because all he could feel was that he was failing.
The clock on the wall seemed to mock (Y/N), marking each second with a coldness that unsettled her. It was the first time she found herself alone in that room… and she didn’t even know why she had mustered the courage to do it. Winwin wasn’t her friend. She didn’t even know about the situation he was in months ago… there was no specific reason that led her to that place.
Why am I here? she asked herself, looking at the white walls of the room. What do I expect to find? Visiting someone with whom I’d never had a close relationship? The truth was, she wasn’t sure… she could just blame it on curiosity if she wanted to.
The mere thought of seeing Winwin in that place, sunk into an almost eternal stillness, churned her stomach. Yet, a part of her knew this visit was more about understanding Jaehyun than about offering anything to Winwin. She wanted to make sense of what had happened—the tragedy that had left everyone around Winwin shattered, including Jaehyun. Perhaps, by understanding it, she could grasp why everything had fallen apart.
Maybe that understanding was what made her cling to the idea that Jaehyun was still capable of changing himself.
Winwin was there. Motionless. As if life itself had stopped flowing through him. She could barely make out the faint movements that indicated he was still alive, breathing, but somehow, it felt like he was no longer present. His face, so serene, stood in stark contrast to the turmoil she felt inside. How could anyone move forward after losing so much?
Unintentionally, her mind began to wander through memories of Jaehyun, the moments when he had spoken about Winwin—always with affection, with a loyalty that had begun to make her feel like an outsider. Jaehyun had made it clear how important Winwin was, how what had happened to him hadn’t just affected him but everyone who cared about him.
“They really miss you,” (Y/N) managed to say. “I don’t know if I should even be here, but… I guess now I’m also hoping you’ll go back to being who you once were.”
She waited for a reaction, but she knew there wouldn’t be one.
“I’m sorry for assuming you’d just moved back to China... I know we were never close, just classmates, but I shouldn’t have been so wrapped up in my own little world that I didn’t know what had really happened to you,” she said, her voice heavy with regret. The thought that Winwin was her age, yet the stark difference between them lay in how her life had kept moving forward while his had come to a halt, gnawed at her.
“The dance team really lost their brightest star. I wish I could have told you this under different circumstances, not after finding out what you’ve been through… but you really were the heart of that team,” she added with a soft, bittersweet laugh.
What am I doing here?
There was something profoundly unsettling about the situation, something that left her without answers. Yet, in that moment, she realized it didn’t matter how deeply she reflected on it or how sincere her words were—nothing could change reality.
In the end, all that remained was silence.
Silence.
That was all there was between them. Just the muffled echo of a room where even the machines seemed to breathe louder than Winwin. The tension in the air was palpable, an invisible hum that seemed to vibrate against the stark white walls of the room. (Y/N) sat quietly beside the bed, her eyes fixed on Winwin, who lay motionless, trapped in a body that refused to respond.
The words swirled in her throat, but at the same time, they felt utterly useless. Speaking to him felt like tossing stones into a bottomless well. Still, the faint movement she’d noticed earlier lingered in her mind. It was like a hidden heartbeat beneath centuries of stillness. She couldn’t ignore it.
Gently, she reached for his hand, as if afraid her touch might break him. It was cold, pale, with faint scars that told the story of his silent battle.
“I know you’re still there,” she murmured, her voice cracking on the last word. She wasn’t sure if she was saying it to convince him or herself. “I know you can hear me, Winwin.”
Her words hung in the air, unanswered. Closing her eyes, (Y/N) felt the weight of emotional exhaustion settle in her chest. She took a deep breath, searching for the strength she felt slipping away, and spoke again.
“I don’t know if anyone’s told you this before, but... it’s okay to feel tired. It’s okay to not know how to keep going.” Tears began to stream down her face, unstoppable. “But please… don’t give up. Not yet.”
Trapped in the prison of his own mind, Winwin felt something. A spark. Small, but real. Her words seeped through the thick fog surrounding him. He had been in the void for so long that he’d forgotten what it felt like to feel. Now, emotions were beginning to stir, like a river slowly breaking free of its icy shell.
Inside, he screamed. He tried to move his hand, open his eyes, anything to show her he was there. It was a desperate effort, as if he were trying to break invisible chains that bound him in place.
And then, it happened.
A small spasm ran through his hand—barely a flicker—but enough for (Y/N) to feel it. She gasped, almost letting go in surprise. Her eyes widened as she stared at him, searching for another sign.
“Winwin?” she whispered, her voice trembling.
Inside, Winwin couldn’t respond the way he wanted, but he clung to her words. They weren’t empty promises. They were a lifeline from someone who wasn’t ready to give up on him.
And for the first time in what felt like forever, the darkness inside him seemed to recede just a little.
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When Lucas received the call from the clinic notifying him that, once again, Winwin had shown a small reaction, he felt a spark of hope illuminate the darkest corner of his heart. It had been so long since anything remotely positive had happened that just hearing the word reaction seemed almost miraculous. However, when he arrived at the hospital and found the unexpected company of Hwang (Y/N), he couldn’t help but feel a mix of surprise and relief. He didn’t know her well, but at that moment, her presence felt like an anchor in the middle of a sea of uncertainty.
Lucas had tried to contact Jaehyun, leaving multiple messages in his voicemail. He knew how much Winwin meant to him and how much it hurt to be caught between the weight of guilt and helplessness. But while waiting for Jaehyun to arrive, Lucas listened to the doctor with all the attention he could gather, striving to process the words full of medical terms and uncertain possibilities.
The doctor cautiously explained that those small reactions, although minimal, could indicate that something was happening neurologically. That maybe, after so much time of apparent inertia, Winwin’s mind was beginning to respond. It wasn’t a guarantee, much less an immediate solution, but it was a spark of hope, something that gave them a reason to keep believing.
When the doctor left the room, leaving Lucas and (Y/N) alone with Winwin, Lucas took a moment to breathe deeply. His eyes rested on his friend, as motionless as ever, but this time with a different aura, as if something invisible was awakening inside him. He closed his eyes for a moment, thanking the universe, any higher power that might exist, for this small victory. As tiny as it was, it meant the world to him.
“Thank you for being here,” he said, turning to (Y/N). There was something in his tone that was sincere, almost vulnerable. “I’m glad that Winwin had a stimulation at the right moment to push him to react.”
(Y/N) looked at him, barely smiling. She wasn’t sure what to say. Words seemed insufficient to express everything she was feeling. Finally, she chose the truth.
“To be honest, I really don’t clearly know why I’m here. I don’t know why I came to see him in the first place.”
Lucas nodded, understanding more than she imagined. There was something in that uncertainty that resonated with him. Sometimes, reasons didn’t matter as much as actions themselves.
“You don’t need to know,” he assured her, his voice firm but kind. “What’s important is that you’re here now.”
A comfortable silence settled between them. Both looked at Winwin, each with their own thoughts but sharing a common emotion: hope.
Lucas finally let himself sink into the chair next to the bed, his eyes fixed on his friend. He had spent so much time talking to a motionless body, trying to fill the void with his own words, that he had grown used to the absence of a response. But now, every small movement, every tiny reaction, was a reminder that Winwin was still there, fighting in some way.
Unfortunately, and to their bad luck, visiting hours that day had already ended, so after giving Winwin one last look, they were forced to leave.
The exit from the clinic was marked by a heavy silence. The cold night air wrapped around Lucas and (Y/N) as they walked through the empty parking lot, their steps echoing against the concrete. Both carried in their minds the image of Winwin, motionless but full of a hope that was just beginning to sprout. However, that faint light didn’t seem enough to dissipate the cloud hanging over them.
When Lucas finally broke the silence, his tone was almost conspiratorial, as if speaking aloud could invoke undesirable consequences.
“I shouldn’t tell you this,” he admitted, stopping next to a light post. The shadows danced on his face, making his expression seem even more serious. “But I think you deserve to know.”
(Y/N) frowned, her confusion evident. She crossed her arms, watching him expectantly. “What is it?” she asked, trying to stay calm, though something in Lucas’s tone gave her a bad feeling.
Lucas lowered his gaze for a moment, as if deciding whether he should really continue. But when he raised his eyes to her, they were full of determination.
“Sooman asked Jaehyun to make an exchange with him.”
The weight of those words fell on (Y/N) like a bucket of cold water. At first, the words didn’t fully make sense. Exchange? What did that mean in this context? But it only took an instant for the gravity of the situation to begin taking shape in her mind.
“I don’t understand,” she finally said, her voice trembling slightly. But deep down, she already sensed it wasn’t anything good.
Lucas sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Sooman wants Jaehyun to accompany him to a weapons exchange... which means Sooman expects him to take a more active role in the gang. To become someone willing to get his hands completely dirty. And to achieve that, he’s asking him to go along. An exchange... for his absolute loyalty.”
The words echoed in (Y/N)’s head. She felt how anger and helplessness began to form in her chest, fighting to surface. Jaehyun, always so stubborn, so convinced that he could protect everyone from that dark world, was now being dragged even further.
“Why are you telling me this?” she finally murmured, her voice barely a whisper.
Lucas looked at her with a mix of compassion and seriousness. “Because I think you two deserve a chance together. And because, if that’s going to happen, Jaehyun needs to stay far away from this mess, far from everything the gang means.”
(Y/N) shook her head, pressing her lips together while trying to control the emotions swirling inside her. She felt like she was about to break, but she forced herself to stay composed.
“Jaehyun isn’t going to leave the gang,” she said, almost as if reminding herself as much as Lucas. “He’s made that clear more than once. He’s stubborn. I won’t be able to change his mind.”
Lucas shrugged but didn’t stop looking at her with firmness. “Maybe you can’t change his mind. But that doesn’t mean you should give up on him. Jaehyun isn’t bad, (Y/N). He’s trapped in this because of a twisted sense of responsibility. But if anyone can make him see things differently, I think it’s you.”
(Y/N) let out a bitter laugh, lowering her gaze to the ground. “And what if he doesn’t want to listen to me? What if he’s so convinced he’s doing the right thing that he doesn’t care what I say?” she asked, a hint of despair in her voice.
Lucas stepped closer, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Then at least you’ll have tried. Because if you do nothing, Sooman will take him further than any of us can reach. And trust me, that’s not a place that’s easy to come back from.”
Lucas’s words struck deeply in (Y/N). She glanced back at the clinic one last time, as if seeking strength from the place that had witnessed the small spark of hope for Winwin. Now, she understood that it wasn’t just Winwin who was trapped. Jaehyun was too, though in a different way. The question was whether she had the strength to try and save them both.
(Y/N) remained silent, her thoughts echoing endlessly in her mind. Lucas’s words weighed heavier than she wanted to admit. She knew he made sense, but she also knew that confronting Jaehyun would be like talking to a wall: hard, impenetrable, and determined to stay standing no matter what.
Lucas broke the silence, his voice softer this time, almost as if he feared breaking something in her. “You don’t have to decide now,” he said, his hands buried in the pockets of his jacket. “But, (Y/N), Jaehyun is playing with fire. And the problem with fire isn’t just that it burns you… it also consumes everything close to you. If you don’t do something now, I don’t know how much longer he’ll stay safe.”
She looked up at him, meeting his eyes that, despite their apparent strength, reflected the weight of worry. She wanted to respond, to say something comforting, but she couldn’t. She was caught between the desire to help and the fear of failing.
“Why me?” she finally asked, her voice barely a whisper. There was no challenge in her tone, only genuine uncertainty. “What makes you think I can do anything?”
Lucas gave her a faint smile, almost tinged with resignation. “Because Jaehyun listens when you speak. He might not show it, but he listens. And because you’re not trapped in this—not the way we are. You have something to offer him, something that can remind him there’s more beyond this world. Something worth fighting for.”
His words struck (Y/N) deeply. She had always known that Jaehyun was special to her, but hearing someone else put it into words made the feeling more real, more tangible.
She took a deep breath of the cold air, trying to clear her mind. Something inside her stirred—a spark that was beginning to ignite, though she wasn’t sure if it would be enough for what lay ahead.
“Where is he?” she finally asked, her tone more resolute.
Lucas looked at her for a moment before nodding, as if he had been expecting that question all along.
“At home. That’s where he usually goes when he needs to clear his head. But also…” He hesitated, carefully choosing his words. “It’s where he goes when he’s planning something. I don’t know how open he’ll be to listening, but if anyone can get him to stop and hear, it’s you.”
(Y/N) nodded slowly, her fingers fidgeting with the strap of her bag as she processed the information. There was no time for doubt or second-guessing. If Jaehyun was at risk of sinking even further, she couldn’t stand by and do nothing.
“Thank you, Lucas,” she said finally, before turning toward the parking lot. Her voice was low, but there was a hint of determination in it.
“(Y/N),” he called, just before she could walk away. She turned, and for a moment, Lucas seemed more vulnerable than she had ever seen him. “Be careful. He might be stubborn, but he doesn’t deserve to lose you too. Nobody does.”
She didn’t respond, but she gave him a small smile, just enough to show that she understood.
With every step she took toward her car, the weight on her chest felt both lighter and heavier at the same time. The thought of facing Jaehyun scared her, but the thought of doing nothing… that was far worse.
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The last time she had stepped into Jaehyun’s house, the memories had etched themselves onto her like marks on her skin. It hadn’t been just a moment; it had been a clash of emotions, a revelation that left her caught between the warmth of sharing something intimate with him and the chill of understanding just how trapped he was in Neo Zone, that dark, tangled world that seemed to consume him. She remembered the feel of his lips, how Jaehyun had allowed a small part of himself to open up to her, offering a glimpse of something he guarded so closely. But she also remembered the weight of realizing how much of him was anchored to that life holding him back.
That was why, standing in front of his door once more, her emotions were a whirlwind. Every step that had brought her here had been a mix of conviction and doubt. Was she ready to face him? To confront what it meant to stand beside someone like him? Even so, she raised her hand and knocked softly, as if afraid the door itself might crumble under the weight of her intentions.
When Jaehyun opened the door, his expression was a mix of confusion and something almost vulnerable, as if he hadn’t been prepared to see her there. His eyes searched hers, as though trying to decipher what her presence in that moment could mean. Then, the words left his mouth with a sharpness he hadn’t intended.
“What are you doing here?”
His tone was harsher than he meant, but (Y/N) didn’t flinch. She had expected this reaction. She took a deep breath, trying to keep her voice steady as she looked him straight in the eye.
“I need you.”
Jaehyun blinked, thrown off balance. Those two words hit him harder than he cared to admit. There were many things he was used to hearing: orders, reprimands, warnings. But I need you... those words carried a weight he didn’t know how to handle. He stayed silent, staring at (Y/N) as if waiting for her to elaborate, to explain what those words meant.
“I thought we already talked about this, angel,” he said, his body leaning toward her instinctively, as if an invisible magnet always drew them together.
“I know, and I told you then that there’s always something pulling me to you.”
Jaehyun exhaled slowly, trying to keep his composure, but (Y/N)’s words disarmed him, as they always did. That raw honesty, that way she had of saying exactly what she felt, left him defenseless.
“(Y/N)...” he began, but his voice trailed off. He couldn’t find the words. He didn’t know how to respond without revealing just how much those simple phrases affected him.
She looked at him with an intensity that almost made him step back, but he didn’t. Instead, he took a step closer, closing the distance between them.
“I need you,” she repeated, her whisper brushing against his lips.
Jaehyun didn’t wait another second before crashing his lips against hers in a hungry, desperate kiss.
His hands roamed wherever they could—her hips, her waist, her lower back—as if needing to confirm she was really there. He tugged her closer, pulling her into the house and pressing her against the wall. His lips left hers to trail kisses along her neck.
Lost in the moment and the intoxicating rush, she brought her hands to the back of his neck, pulling him even closer, if that was possible. She could feel the heat, the desire, the overwhelming hunger that wrapped around them both in that moment. Her legs, with a small jump, wrapped around Jaehyun’s waist, and his hands moved to her thighs to hold her securely as she clung to him.
The intensity between them was undeniable, a whirlwind of passion and longing that neither could resist.
“You make me loose myself in you” Jaehyun confessed in a sigh and returning to her lips. “You're a danger to me” she attacked his mouth again, causing a moan to come from deep inside her, achieving a thrill inside the boy and making his dick twitch in his pants. The kissing session simply became more cadenced as the seconds passed and in the blink of an eye, without understanding how, they ended up entering Jaehyun's room. Where, once, being inside, she (Y/N) was gently thrown onto the bed of the boy, who positioned himself on top of her and continued his caresses down her body.
“You're the most beautiful thing I have... and I can't become selfish enough to let you stay” he murmured.
“Jaehyun” she moaned. “I want you.”
The boy looked into her eyes as he brought his hands to the girl's shirt and untucked it with breathtaking fluidity.
“Where do you want me, my love?” he asked lustfully.
“Inside me... wherever... but I need you, I want you.”
(Y/N) had a way with words, because right there, releasing that sentence, being under Jaehyun's body, so willing to him... the boy wanted to give her everything he had at that moment. The kisses became hotter, the caresses more needy and rougher, and the clothes were quickly disappearing. Every touch and every glance was charged with so much lust and passion that it caused Jaehyun to be unable to think of anything else. Nothing of her life, nothing of the gang, nothing of the exchange.
Just (Y/N).
(Y/N)... (Y/N)... (Y/N).
“Jae” the girl let out a sigh when Jaehyun's hand was on her intimate part, caressing her over the fabric of her panties, feeling the wetness that the situation was generating in her, but her ecstasy was on the rise when Jaehyun decided to get rid of her panties and bring his mouth to her sex.
She could feel a little air crashing into her mules. “You're always a cutie” Jaehyun murmured and without further ado he plunged his mouth into her womanhood running his warm tongue between her lips, I feel gentle.
(Y/N)'s mouth could only let out moans here and there. Feeling her breath hitch as Jaehyun decided to lightly suck on her clit, Jaehyun placed his hands on her thighs to continue his work, pressing his mouth against her core and moving his tongue inside with the tip, generating more stimulation.
Jaehyun surely isn’t shy about using his tongue on her; because he’s just good about it. (Y/N)’s hands go straight to Jaheyun’s hair trying to get a hold on anything that can make her not to lose her shit, but the grip has Jaehyun going feral; as he just apples more pressure in her thighs and bring his head closer, if that’s even possible, to her pussy. Must be pretty obvious she was close enough to cum, because Jaehyun took the chance to introduce his middle finger into her entrance, sliding just perfectly.
“Shit… Jae- keep going” she murmured biting her lip and gripping tighter onto his hair.
“Just keep moaning like that, my pretty baby angel” he says taking a breath to once again lap at her pussy, working his tongue so beautifully that got (Y/N) seeing stars.
“You want me to fuck you, baby?” Jaehyun asks when he left her pussy to be able to stare at her.
She nodded and tug his hair so he could get closer to her face, she looked at him straight in the eyes and she could swear, his eyes were twinkling. She gave him a fucked out look and she brought him closer.
“Yes, baby; I want you to fuck me. Make a mess on me” she stated as she kissed passionately on his lips.
This kiss was eager, so full of warmth and love, that they got too lost in the moment. Jaehyun’s fingers kept sliding in her pussy simultaneously, making her shake under him.
It was just too good.
Then Jaehyun took his fingers out and his hand went straight to take a hold on his cock so he could just rub it on her pussy. Making her whimper and feeling her legs shaking; because the moment Jaehyun had decided to make his cock enter her pussy, was just her endgame. She could feel him so deep inside and oh so thick that she could swear she wouldn’t last long.
Too cockdrunk, she couldn’t even former a sentence out, she was just moaning and growling every time Jaehyun’s tip stroke so deliciously on her walls. Then, Jaheyun was leaning in and wrapping his lips on (Y/N) nipples.
“You’re perfect” Jaehyun said. “Not enough for you”
“Yes Jae. You’re enough for me” she replied. “You make me feel so good, so full” she moaned bucking her hips towards him.
That was enough to make him go wilder, thrusting so hard and fast that she was starting to feel reaching her climax. Her tits bouncing every time Jaehyun just pushed all the way out to her g spot.
“Fuck Yoonoh” she gasps. “You’re so deep.”
“You’re close, right angel?” he asks. “Just cum for me. You’re squeezing me so good, might just cum inside you.”
“Yes, Jae. Make a mess on me. Fill me up” He groaned and started to fuck her harder. “Don’t stop.” She asked again.
“That’s it baby, cum all over my cock.”
Just a little more of thrusts were enough to make her go all over the edge, squeezing Jaehyun so hard she only cummed once his tip reached once again her g spot. And a couple of more thrusts make him cum inside her as well.
He kissed her again. All over her face. All over her neck. He just wanted to feel her one more time. He just wanted to know that she was right there with him, she could just feel how Jaehyun was babbling some praises for her as he slides out of her entrances and dropped to her side, just to hold her closer to his body and be able to give her proper cuddles.
The room was bathed in shadows, with the streetlight casting faint lines through the curtains. Everything seemed frozen in time, except for the sound of their uneven breathing filling the space. Jaehyun held (Y/N)’s naked body from behind, while she gently massaged his arm wrapped around her waist. Unable to think any further, unable to face the boy… unable to forget.
“Do you know what’s the worst part of all this?” she suddenly spoke, breaking the silence. Her voice was soft, but heavy with a weight Jaehyun couldn’t ignore.
He slowly lifted his gaze, his dark eyes reflecting something between exhaustion and regret.
“What?”
(Y/N) turned towards him, and though she tried to stay strong, her eyes betrayed the pain she felt.
“That I always hope you’ll choose something different. That you’ll choose to stay. But every time I think you will, you show me the opposite… I know about the exchange.”
Jaehyun swallowed hard, diverting his gaze to the floor. His heart pounded, but his lips remained sealed.
She shifted in his arms, stopping in front of him. Her voice trembled, but she didn’t stop speaking.
“It was Lucas who told you about that, wasn’t it?”
“I can’t keep pretending this doesn’t affect me, Jaehyun. Watching you walk towards something I know could destroy you… it’s killing me. And I know it probably doesn’t matter to you, but I had to tell you.”
He raised his head, their eyes meeting for a moment. There was something broken in his gaze, something he rarely allowed to show.
“It’s not that I don’t care,” he murmured. “It’s just that there are things already out of my hands.”
(Y/N) stepped back, as if his words had pushed her away.
“That’s not true. You always have a choice, Jaehyun. Always. But it seems like I’m never part of it.”
The silence that followed was suffocating. She had hoped he would say something, anything, but he just stood there, motionless.
“If you decide to go through with this,” she said finally, her voice cracking, “you won’t see me again.”
Jaehyun looked at her, and for a moment, it seemed like he was going to say something, but he didn’t. His eyes begged her in a way his words couldn’t, but she had already made up her mind.
With a broken heart, (Y/N) took a step back toward the door. Each step was harder than the last, but she knew she couldn’t stay.
“Goodbye, Jaehyun,” she said before leaving, gently closing the door behind her.
The click of the lock echoed like a shadow in the empty room. Jaehyun remained seated, staring into the void, as if time had stopped. He didn’t know how much time had passed before he felt his chest tightening, and the feeling of loss hit him like an unstoppable wave.
Slowly, he brought his hands to his face, letting the tears he had held back for so long fall. It was a strange sight for someone like him, someone who always kept his composure, but that night, in the solitude of his room, Jaehyun allowed himself to break down.
Every word from (Y/N) echoed in his mind, over and over again, like a reminder of what he had just lost. He knew it was probably too late to fix it, but still, the thought of never seeing her again destroyed him more than he could have ever imagined.
As the streetlights continued to flicker on the other side of the window, Jaehyun remained there, facing the emptiness of his decision and the weight of his emotions.
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Jaehyun needed clarity, and when confusion overwhelmed him, there was only one place that seemed to bring him some balance: that lookout on the outskirts of the city. From there, the city lights barely flickered like tiny artificial stars, while the sun slowly sank into the horizon, painting the sky with shades of fire and melancholy.
He collapsed onto the grass, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. The cold wind tousled his hair, but it couldn’t extinguish the burning heat of the thoughts tormenting him.
One problem after another, hasty decisions, and now, a countdown that seemed to suffocate him. There were only a few days left before the meeting, but with each passing hour, his resolve weakened.
He lifted his gaze to the sunset, searching for answers in the play of colors in the sky. There was always something in that place that reminded him of how insignificant he was, a speck of dust in an immense universe. And yet, in that moment, he felt that his decision could trigger an avalanche that would not only drag him down but also those he cared about.
One part of his mind tried to justify it: A quick exchange. No one would get hurt if everything went well. But the other part, the harder one to silence, whispered an uncomfortable truth: "Nothing is that simple. Once you cross that line, the responsibilities will only rise."
His phone vibrated in his pocket, pulling him out of his reverie. He didn’t need to look at the screen to know who the message was from; the intermediary never stopped reminding him of the details. Jaehyun squeezed the device in his hand, as if the simple act of holding it could give him an answer.
Was he doing it for money? Yes, in part. But above all, he was doing it because he felt he had no other choice. And that was the most painful part: the lack of control over his own life, the weight of a society pushing him to extremes. "If only it were different…" he thought, but didn’t finish the sentence. The words were lost in the air, just like his hope.
He sat on the grass, feeling the dampness of the ground seep through the fabric of his pants. With slow movements, he pulled out a crumpled cigarette from his pocket and lit it. The first drag was slow, almost ceremonial, as the smoke filled his lungs. When he exhaled, the nicotine-laden air formed a cloud that faded with the breeze. He closed his eyes, allowing the silence to envelop him, the kind of stillness only found away from the chaos of the city. For a moment, the world stopped being a complicated place.
Then, a voice broke the calm:
“Jung Jaehyun.”
The sound of his name was unexpected enough to make him open his eyes abruptly. He looked toward the source of the call, and as he recognized the familiar figure, he couldn’t help but let out a sigh, followed by a crooked smile. It almost felt like a joke from fate.
“I don’t have anything on me,” he said, raising his hands with feigned innocence, leaving the cigarette dangling carelessly from his lips. “This is tobacco, Officer Baekhyun.”
The man in front of him raised an eyebrow, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips. His uniform was disheveled, as if he’d had a long day, and the way he scratched the back of his neck suggested he wasn’t there on official business. Without replying, Baekhyun sat down next to Jaehyun, letting out a sigh as he turned his attention to the horizon, painted in warm tones.
“I’m not here to take you to the station,” he assured with a calm voice, laden with sincerity that contrasted with his position as authority.
Their relationship couldn’t be described as simple. On more than one occasion, Jaehyun had faced Baekhyun under less friendly circumstances. Being part of Neo Zone had placed him on the officer’s radar, and though most interactions ended with Jaehyun sitting in a cold interrogation room, there was something about Baekhyun that set him apart from other cops. It wasn’t his tolerance, but the way he seemed to see beyond the criminal record.
“Got an extra one?” asked the officer, gesturing casually at the cigarette.
Jaehyun looked at him with a mix of disbelief and amusement. The irony was almost delicious. Without saying a word, he pulled another cigarette from his pocket and handed it over. Baekhyun took it, lighting it with a silver lighter he pulled from his jacket. The first drag was brief, but enough for the officer to release a sigh accompanied by a cloud of smoke.
Jaehyun glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, trying to decipher the intentions behind this unexpected visit. There was something in Baekhyun’s relaxed posture that unsettled him. It was strange to share a moment of calm with someone who, technically, should be his enemy. And yet, there they were, sitting side by side, as if the weight of their respective worlds could be suspended for a few minutes.
The wind carried the scent of tobacco into the cool afternoon air, and for a moment, neither of them spoke. They just watched the sunset, as if in that fleeting spectacle they could find the answers they both seemed to be searching for in silence.
Jaehyun glanced sideways at Officer Baekhyun as he exhaled the smoke calmly, as if they weren’t two men on opposite sides of the law sharing a casual moment. The contrast between them had always struck him as odd; Baekhyun had this mix of relaxed authority and curiosity that made him difficult to read. He wasn’t an ordinary cop, and maybe that’s why Jaehyun had never been able to decide if he should respect him, distrust him, or both.
“And what brings you here, officer?” Jaehyun asked, feigning disinterest while toying with the cigarette between his fingers. The usual tension in his tone was absent, replaced by a kind of calm resignation. After all, if Baekhyun had come to arrest him, he’d already be handcuffed.
Baekhyun didn’t answer right away. Instead, he looked at the horizon, where the last traces of light were fading into shades of purple and gray. Finally, after another drag, he spoke.
“You know, this place has something, don’t you think? It’s like time stops here, even if just for a moment.”
Jaehyun frowned. Baekhyun wasn’t one for beating around the bush. “Are you here to philosophize with me, or do you have something to tell me?”
The officer let out a soft laugh, shaking his head as though trying to ease the tension in the conversation. But his gaze remained sharp.
“Straight to the point, as always. Alright, Jaehyun.” He turned his head to face him, and his expression grew more serious, as if each word he was about to say carried more weight than he cared to admit. “I want to negotiate with you.”
Jaehyun’s body tensed almost immediately, an instinctive reaction. In his world, negotiations didn’t usually end well for anyone. But, as always, his face remained expressionless. He took another drag of the cigarette, holding the smoke in his lungs a few seconds longer than necessary before exhaling slowly. “I don’t think it’s very ethical of you, officer,” he replied with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
The response didn’t seem to surprise Baekhyun. “I know about the exchange.”
Jaehyun’s face immediately changed. The small smile on his lips vanished in an instant. He swallowed but tried to maintain his composure. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said firmly, though the slight tremor in his hands betrayed his attempt to appear indifferent.
Baekhyun brought the cigarette to his lips and took a drag before continuing, his tone calm, almost casual, as if he were talking about the weather. “When I took the position of chief of police, I promised myself one thing: to end Neo Zone. I’ve been following your steps, Jaehyun. You’re an important thread in this case.”
Jaehyun scoffed, a weak attempt to appear unconcerned. “And what do I do with this information?” he asked, turning to look at the officer with an arched eyebrow. “I don’t think it’s very wise of you to come all the way out here and tell someone from Neo Zone that you’re planning something against them.”
The officer let out a long sigh, a sound full of exhaustion and frustration. For a moment, he seemed to hesitate, as if the words he needed to say were too difficult to pronounce. Finally, he spoke, his voice lower, almost vulnerable. “Because I don’t want to see you sink further, Jaehyun. I’m serious.”
Jaehyun turned toward him with a look of disbelief. That answer wasn’t what he expected. “What the hell are you saying? Why do you care what I do or don’t do?”
Baekhyun shrugged, looking back at the horizon where the sun was beginning to set. “Because I know you’re not like the others. There’s something in you, Jaehyun. Something you haven’t destroyed yet. And believe me, I’ve seen enough people cross that line to know that once you do, there’s no turning back.”
Jaehyun clenched his jaw, a mix of frustration and something else he couldn’t identify burning in his chest. He was tired of hearing that same story. “You have potential, Jaehyun.” “You can be better than this.” Baekhyun’s words weren’t new, but they came with a different weight, a sincerity that unsettled him.
“And what’s the deal supposed to be?” he asked finally, his tone heavy with disdain.
Baekhyun nodded, as though he’d been expecting that question. “We found out about the exchange almost by accident. But when we knew enough, everything pointed to you. We know you’re part of the team that’s going to carry it out. I can offer you entry into the witness protection program if you decide to cooperate with us.”
Jaehyun let the words settle in his mind for a moment. Then, he slowly shook his head. “You want me to be a rat in my own gang?” he asked with a dry, bitter laugh.
Baekhyun held his gaze and nodded. “With all due respect, officer,” Jaehyun continued, leaning forward with a sarcastic expression, “But you’re crazy. What do you think would happen if they found out I was the one who ratted them out? It wouldn’t just be my head, it would be my life, my family. A bullet to the head would be the kindest thing they could do to me for being a snitch.”
“That’s why I can offer you protection,” Baekhyun insisted, his tone firmer now. “I’ve worked on this case for years, doing everything I can to make this program exist. The state can guarantee your safety and your family's if you cooperate.”
“My safety?” Jaehyun let out a hollow laugh, shaking his head. “I don’t need protection for myself. I need it for my family. I’m doing this for them, you understand? Not for me.”
Baekhyun looked at him with an intensity that Jaehyun couldn’t quite interpret. “Your family would be protected too. While you’re in the program, they will be a priority. And yes, you’ve made legal mistakes. But if you cooperate fully and give us the information we need to close this case, the judge may consider granting you clemency. You could start fresh. You wouldn’t face legal consequences.”
The words hung heavily in the air. Jaehyun lowered his gaze, his thoughts a chaotic mess. It was an enticing offer, but he couldn’t ignore the fear, the certainty that taking that path would mean losing everything he knew.
Jaehyun’s cigarette was burning slowly between his fingers, completely forgotten as Baekhyun’s words echoed in his head. The idea of betraying Neo Zone, of becoming a “protected informant,” seemed not only insane but suicidal.
“Are you kidding me?” Jaehyun murmured, more to himself than to the officer. He raised his eyes to Baekhyun, hoping to find some sign that this was some sort of trick, but the officer’s gaze was serious, almost… sincere.
“I know it sounds crazy,” Baekhyun replied, stamping his cigarette out on the ground with a measured motion. “But think of it as an opportunity. Not just for you, but for the people you love.”
That sentence hit a nerve. Jaehyun’s jaw tightened, and he turned his gaze toward the horizon, where the sun had already disappeared, leaving a gray-tinged sky. His family… (Y/N)… Years had passed, and excuses had become easier, but the truth was simple: he had entered this world to protect them, even if the price was carrying the weight of his own decisions. “It’s easy for you to say,” he finally replied, his voice low but full of bitterness. “You have a job, a uniform, a life that doesn’t depend on looking over your shoulder. But me… I don’t have that option. I haven’t had it for years.”
Baekhyun listened in silence, with a patience that irritated Jaehyun. Why did he care so much? What did he see in him that others didn’t? “And what if I told you that you could have it now?” the officer pressed. “You and your family. A life away from this. Away from Neo Zone.”
Jaehyun let out a dry, bitter laugh, shaking his head. “And then what? Do I hide for the rest of my life? Living in fear that someone will find out where I am? Because believe me, officer, those people don’t forget. You can lock up one, two, or ten of them, but there’s always more. And when they find out I’m the one who spoke…” He paused, bringing his fingers to his temples as if trying to calm the chaos in his mind. “I don’t even want to imagine what they’d do.”
Baekhyun slightly tilted his head, his eyes fixed on Jaehyun. There was something in his expression, a type of understanding that didn’t quite fit his role as a police officer.
“Jaehyun,” he said quietly, as if the name carried a special weight. “I know you’re scared. And I understand. But I also know you’re not like them. You have something to fight for. Something that’s worth more than any false loyalty you think you have to Neo Zone.”
“False?” Jaehyun let out an incredulous laugh. “What makes you think I can trust you, when you’re just another cop playing hero?” The sincerity in Baekhyun’s eyes didn’t waver. “Because I’m not a hero. And I don’t want you to end up as just another statistic.”
Jaehyun didn’t answer immediately. The wind was blowing strongly now, taking the warmth from the night that loomed over them. In his mind, the officer’s words mixed with memories of everything he had done to survive, to keep his family safe, even when it meant getting his hands dirty.
“If I accept this…” he began, his voice trembling for the first time. “If I trust you, how do I know it won’t go wrong? How do I know I won’t lose everything anyway?”
“Because you’ll be in control for the first time in a long time,” Baekhyun replied firmly. “You can stay where you are and let Neo Zone dictate every decision you make, or you can start building something different. Something that’s yours.”
Silence settled between them again. Jaehyun looked at the cigarette in his hand, now reduced to a filter that barely served any purpose. He stamped it out on the ground, wondering if Baekhyun was right, if he really could change his fate.
“This isn’t an easy decision,” he murmured finally. “I can’t promise anything.”
“I don’t expect you to do it today,” Baekhyun replied. “But time is running out, Jaehyun. And when the time comes, I want you to remember that there’s another way out.”
The officer stood up, brushing off his pants before turning toward him. Jaehyun didn’t stop him, and Baekhyun didn’t look back as he walked away. But the words remained, lodged like a weight in Jaehyun’s chest, still sitting under the cold night breeze, trying to decipher the right line to cross.
“If you decide to accept, you know where to find me… and if you decide not to, this conversation will stay between us.”
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a/n:NOT PROOFEAD! So yes, it was way easier to write now that my laptop is working again TT, also this week was my bday yayyy! I hope you liked this chapter, i would really love if you could gave sum feedback! (specially since english is not my first language, so it makes it a little harder to write) I was just want to clarify that the informant protection program does exist and yup, people with illegal backgrounds can be part of it and almost get a plea if they colaborate enough.
taglist is open! if you want to be added just lemme know;)
taglist: @spicyryujin @daegalismybiasinnct @peachfulnight @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss @dear-97 @girlwholovespreppyattire @hana-off-icial @cigarettesafterjae @beomgyusonlywife @bts-iris @dojaejung @methneo @kriizztin @mrsuhnshine @pieddpiperr @completelyjae (idk why some of the tags just don’t work out!)
Feel free to send any asks here if you want!
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ynnova · 1 day ago
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blindsided
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' GLIMPSES OF THE PAST ' ask game // blindsided 📼
blindsided – for a scene from my muse's past in which they were betrayed or shocked by what someone did.
time period . 2020 | wc . 1.1k | tw . language, cheating (not on y/n), making out, ooc seonghwa, context for seonghwa's pov is missing so... miscommunication (sort of)
"oppa, are you okay?" you ask the eldest member of the group. you notice he's been distracted the past week, but none of you are completely sure as to why.
thankfully, it was just the two of you currently in the practice room, so you could have a moment alone with seonghwa. to maybe figure out whatever it is that's bothering him. you walk over to where he's sitting on the floor and sit down next to him.
"oppa?" you say again, putting a hand on his knee which seemingly earns his attention.
"huh? oh, sorry, y/nnie, i was just... thinking is all."
"do you... want to take about it? can i help in any way?" you offer and seonghwa looks to meet your eyes for a moment before he's looking away.
"me and haneul are having some... issues. she's jealous of you and the others, so we're... taking a break," he confesses and you look at him shocked. the news took you completely off guard, no way was seonghwa and haneul taking a break. the two have been dating since before seonghwa joined the company.
you always thought that nothing could go wrong between them. you were honestly a little jealous at how perfect their relationship was. guess not everything was as perfect as it seemed.
but then something hits you, "jealous? of me and the others? what are you talking about?"
"she thought the nine of us asked a little more... than just bandmates and friends," he explains.
"but..."
"y/n," seonghwa says softly, looking towards you, "she means we were acting more than just friends. which i understand what she's saying when she sees you and the others, but of course she doesn't know you all are dating."
"i'm sorry, oppa, i didn't mean to cause any issues with haneul," you tell him and seonghwa gives you a smile that makes your heart do backflips. you know you shouldn't have a crush on seonghwa, you know it was wrong especially since he was already taken, but... damn did he make it hard not to like him.
"its okay, maybe haneul and i just wasn't meant to work out," he says and you can tell by his tone that he sounds... not upset, almost at peace with the idea of not being with haneul.
the two of you sat in silence, neither of you saying anything more for several minutes until seonghwa finally speaks up again.
"the truth is... i don't like haneul anymore," he says suddenly, looking away from you. "i've been... i have feelings for someone else recently and she's starting to pick up on it."
seonghwa's words come crashing over you. what is he saying? doesn't like haneul anymore, likes someone else?
"who is it?" you ask before you can even realize the words left your mouth.
seonghwa lets out a small chuckle, "is it not obvious?" he says, a teasing tone dripping off his words. you feel like the answer is obvious, but you still want to hear him, himself say it. not just you assuming you know the answer.
"say it," you say looking at him, and he turns to look at you. a little surprised that you would that.
"can i kiss you?" he asks, you feel your heart pounding in your chest, thumping loudly in your ears before you're nodding your head and suddenly his lips are on yours.
seonghwa's lips are just as soft as you imagined them to be. they slot against yours almost too perfectly as his hand comes to cup your face. your own hand coming up to run through his hair and it's equally as soft as his lips. you can feel your breath slowly begin to leave you the longer the two of you kissed.
pulling away a little bit to take a breath, you didn't waste a moment in kissing him again and seonghwa eagerly welcomed your lips. you let out a small gasp when you feel his teeth nibble a little at your bottom lip. you do your best to hold back a smile as you open your mouth to let seonghwa in. his tongue slipping past your lips as his arms wrap around you to hold you more securely to his body. your chest flush against his as his tongue plays with yours.
you find yourself basically drunk on seonghwa's lips, not knowing how long you had been kissing until the male finally pulls away. a trail of saliva connecting your lips, your tongues, together before it thins out and breaks. you're both breathless as seonghwa still holds you close, so close you're sharing heavy breathes between each other. seonghwa's cheeks are flushed and you're sure you look equally as flushed thanks to the heat that had built up on your face.
seonghwa opens his mouth to say something, but the opening of the practice door tears you too apart. you quickly slide a good distance away from your member and pull your phone out to seem occupied. your eyes flicker up and you feel the color drain from your face, haneul had just walked in. a smile on her face as she walks over to seonghwa.
"hwa~" she says and you feel your heart start to sink into the deepest pit of your stomach. you're such an awful person, how could you have kissed seonghwa while he was still dating haneul. how could you give in to your selfish desire and make-out with your taken bandmate?
your eyes flicker over to seonghwa, haneul has now easily taken your spot next to him and you feel something tear at your insides. maybe... he didn't actually mean what he said. maybe he was just... confused and he still loves haneul.
you feel like a fool. like you were just blindsided with the cold, hard truth.
couldn't stand being in the same room as them, quickly getting up and gathering your things, you make a mad dash out of the practice room and towards the one place that felt safe.
hongjoong's studio.
your eldest boyfriend opens the door to his studio with a confused look, letting you in as you set your stuff down and collapse onto the small couch.
"what's wrong, muse?" he says, coming to sit next to you, rubbing your back as you hide your face in your hands.
it takes you a moment to gather yourself, trying hard not to cry, after all did you really have a reason to cry over seonghwa? over letting him take your heart and crush it? finally, you took a deep breath, lifting your head up to look at hongjoong who was still waiting for you to talk to him.
"me and seonghwa kissed."
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trixy812 · 3 days ago
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007
Part 1. - Part 2.
Imagine you're walking through the university hallways with one of your closest friends, Satoru Gojo. The son of Japan’s ambassador to Germany, he’s effortlessly charismatic, always dressed to impress, and carries an aura of confidence that borders on arrogance—but somehow, you find it charming. Both of you are studying International Relations, though it seems like Gojo’s real focus is always on you.
Imagine that between you two, there’s always a spark. A constant back-and-forth of playful flirting, stolen glances, and teasing words. It never crosses the line, but it’s always there, simmering beneath the surface. Today, like many other days, he’s complaining. “Girls our age are so immature and shallow,” he says dramatically, as if the universe itself has cursed him. “That’s why I’ll never find a girlfriend.”
“(...) And that’s why I think Mimi deserved more development in Digimon," you say “I mean, I get why she was so protective of Palmon, but they could’ve dug deeper into that. It would’ve made her character so much better.”
Imagine Gojo stops in his tracks for a moment, looking at you like you’ve just said the most profound thing he’s ever heard. “Exactly!” he exclaims, his enthusiasm bubbling over. “I’ve been saying that forever! Mimi had so much potential. Palmon’s bond with her could’ve been explored way more—it would’ve been iconic!”
Then, as his excitement fades into a softer smile, the thought sneaks up on him: I need a girl like her.
“If only there were more women like you,” he says suddenly, his tone quieter now, almost wistful. His words catch you off guard for a moment, but you recover quickly, like you always do. “There are plenty of women like me, Gojo,” you reply with a smirk. “You just need to look at anime conventions.”
Imagine he doesn’t laugh. Instead, he falls silent, his playful mask slipping as he looks away with a slight pout. What you don’t hear is the thought running through his mind: But they’re not you.
Imagine how his heart aches every time you say “See you tomorrow” before running off to Kento Nanami, your boyfriend, who waits for you in his sleek BMW. Gojo watches, his usual smirk firmly in place, but inside, it stings more than he’d ever admit.
And yet… imagine how part of you feels the pull too. How his teasing words, his lingering looks, and the chemistry you try so hard to ignore make your resolve waver, just for a second. You’d never betray Nanami, of course not—but under the right conditions, in another world, maybe you would.
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jinns-arcane-feverdream · 20 hours ago
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I might get backlash for this but I just want to express MY opinion that I am not forcing on anyone else. Also, as a queer person, I am all for queer ships, but I will explain why I do not like these ones
Shipping Vander and Silco, and Mylo and Claggor, is disgusting from my personal perspective. And I will explain why. I will also not stand to be told my opinion and views are invalid, so if you don’t agree, simply scroll along or if you feel the need, leave a nice comment
As someone who has quite a few social sibling relationships (friends that are practically siblings) and someone who has adopted relatives, these ships are very much disgusting for me to imagine. Yes, they are not biologically related, but they are still brothers (in both pairs)
Mylo and Claggor were adopted by Vander and raised as brothers. They are brothers in every sense except by blood and biology. It’s like suggesting that my cousin, who I’ve known all my life and grown up around but is adopted, and I should be together. It’s vile and disgusting to me
For Silco and Vander, we see/hear them refer to each other as brothers SO MANY TIMES that they’ve practically deemed themselves to be adoptive brothers. People have said their fight feels like a lovers quarrel or a lovers to enemies, but all I see is two people who saw each other as brothers get betrayed/attacked by each other. When I see them, I see myself fighting with former friends who were like siblings to me, and one of us messed up and we had a big fight and haven’t spoken since. I also see myself and current friends who I’ve had major fights with and made up from. Nothing romantic. Noting sexual. Just brothers and betrayal
And while yes, it can be fun to spot and see “subtle hints” that lead one to believe queerness, but you also have to consider family relations especially when it is explicitly stated and known that they are/view each other as siblings. This goes for any show or movie or set of characters
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rekino2114 · 2 days ago
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Cancel confessing to you
A/n:drf won the poll, even if i think it was just by a vote or two, but anyway, here's the first post to celebrate
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"For the last time I do not have a crush on y/n"
"If you want to lie, then at least try to be convincing"
Cancel scoffed at enigma and opened her eyes
"What even makes you think that?"
"You always blush when you see them, rarely insult or act like you're better than them-"
"Are you insinuate I normally do that to people who aren't y/n?"
"............"
"Tch"
"And you also read their fortune multiple times,for free, with an emphasis on their love life, seems to me like you want to make sure you're-"
"Fine, fine, will you shut up!?"
"So you admit it?"
"I may have a tiny crush on them but why do you care?"
"Cause you're not doing anything about it"
"Hm?"
"Despite what you might think, we're friends, and I don't wanna see you looking melancholically at them like you don't have a chance when you haven't even tried anything"
"What should I do then?"
"Just confess to them"
She glared at him and rolled her eyes
"Wow, thank you, Enigma. I never thought about that"
"It was just an idea"
"Yeah, the most idiotic idea ever. What do you think will happen if they reject me? I'll look like an idiot and never be able to look at them in the eyes again"
"I think they like you too"
"And pray tell how do you know that?"
"I'm their friend too you know?"
"So?"
"..............."
"WAIT, YOU KNEW THEY HAD A CRUSH ON ME THIS WHOLE TIME AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ANYTHING?"
"They were scared you would start laughing if they found out"
"I would never"
"............"
"At them. Anyway I still feel betrayed, I thought we were supposed to be "friends"
"So we are friends"
"Just shut up I'm going to search for y/n now"
"Good luck"
"Thank you, I suppose"
The diviner got up from the table and went to look for you. She didn't have to wait long as you went up to her with a smile that made her blush
"Hey cancel, I was just looking for you"
"Oh me too, why?"
"I wanted to get my fortune read"
"Hm? Again?"
"Yes, it was so fun last time, and I want to know more I hope you don't mind"
"No, absolutely not, it's my ultimate and....i-i like being with you"
"What was that last part?"
"Nothing now follow me"
She led you to her dorm where she told you to sit on her bed. She turned off the lights and lit a purple candle to set up the mood
"I'll read your palm. Is that alright?"
"Of course"
Cancel sat in front of you and started examining your hand
"So what would you like to know?"
"What my future girlfriend will be like"
"E-eh?"
"Is something wrong? I thought that was a pretty common request"
"I-it is, just......nothing, I'll work on it"
"Great, thank you so much, and sorry if I'm bothering you"
"No don't worry, you could never"
She looked more at your hand and switched her gaze on you after a while
"OK so from what I can see......"
She cleared her throat and shook off a blush before speaking again
"She has.....back hair, pink eyes and....really likes reading and wearing jewelry-"
"Uhm cancel-"
"A-and she would really like to go on a date with you..........m-maybe tomorrow if possible......?"
Cancel blushed even brighter and looked to the side, slightly scared for your answer. You simply started giggling which made her blush even more and look at you with an angry expression
"A-are you mocking me?"
"No, no definitely not, I just thought it was a funny coincidence"
"Hm?"
"Because I'd love to go on a date with that mysterious girl, tomorrow would be great"
"R-really?"
"Definitely, perhaps the library would be good?"
"I- I mean, she would love it. She'll let you know when she's ready"
"Great"
You got up from the bed and kissed cancel on the cheek, causing her to blush again
"I can't wait"
As you left, she touched the cheek you kissed and smiled slightly before gaining her composure
"OK, now I need to see how the date will go....I wonder what kind of tea they like....oh where are my tarots?"
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noblehcart · 1 year ago
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GUESS WHO GOT A KINDLE OASIS
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painfully-unoriginal · 8 days ago
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So I drew these under the assumption that diane used to be part of kitty's crew and realized after that i don't actually know if that's tru or not so uuuuuhhhh probably should've just waited for the movie to come out to start drawing shit but 👍
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ahli-stuff · 16 days ago
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Seeing Viktor’s heaving vulnerable face as he looks up to Jayce through his lashes on his final death throes with radiohead playing the the bg show up on my feed every 4 videos is kind of like getting viciously punched in the nuts while winding down from previously getting viscously punched in the nuts
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outlying-hyppocrate · 1 month ago
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i have officially returned. ask me anything.
#random thoughts#i'll probably answer it tomorrow because i'm tired. i don't know why.#ciel if you see this i've been nicer to myself these past few days following your birthday. taking care of myself in general aspects.#which i sort of hate myself for but it's okay because. uh. i won't be like this forever. i'll be better at what i'm trying to do i promise.#new year's resolution is not fucking with me.........#oh also!! i've been sort of feeling like a dead person at times. and also like a cockroach. i have had to repeatedly tell myself that#i'm not dead i'm not dead!!!!#because i'm not. obviously. and i know i'm not. my brain is just silly. it likes to tell me i am things i am not like book characters.#and recently my mother got me my own rosary and we've been practicing praying together with my brother.#can you imagine how bad it must be for me to turn to christianity as a coping mechanism? not even when i was terrorized with death thoughts#not even in august for fuck's sake.#but it's actually not that bad. though i think i like the idea of organized religion more than i like being a part of it.#also i feel like my being catholic (mostly non-practicing) is betraying the queer community somehow. like. queer people have suffered#so much because of the christian church in general. so it's like. being christian is weird when i'm also queer.#but also then i feel weird when i try to do things in relation to christianity. like. put saint in my artist name.#that feels blasphemous i don't know. is it?????? it's not that serious either way but. augh.#i am going to write a song about this. also fellow christians is it okay to use the lyric 'uselessly clutching her rosary' or is that bad?#because i mean. technically. the she i'm referring to sort of is. because god isn't solving any of our problems.#he's just fucking. watching. if he's even real.#(and no my disappearance isn't related to the catholicism thing it's something else. as in the one thing i haven't told anyone else but cie#and an irl friend. if you are ciel then i am completely open to talking about said thing.#otherwise i will continue to drop cryptic little notes on my blog because I AM SILLY. {: )#going to play roblox now and maybe say hello to you fuckers on discord for a bit of fun. goodbye.
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mairon-goth-minion · 2 months ago
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Alright. Jegulus, but they meet thanks to Peter. Peter who sometimes went out at night because of insomnia, who at some point came across Regulus sitting all alone in an archway, and instantly activated the Must Keep Friends Happy Mode™, sneaking food to him from the kitchen and becoming somehow one of the only people that Regulus trusted. And at some point he’s with the Marauders and casually mentions this friend of his who he sees every other night, and they get curious but Peter won’t betray Regulus’ identity to them, so James decides to follow him one night and it somehow (although he keeps denying it) becomes his favorite part of the day, to watch Regulus smile and laugh, because he finds him truly beautiful when he’s himself. And Peter notices him because of course he knows his friends’ footsteps and postures and tics, and of course he decides to introduce the two.
And they fall in love. And there’s confetti and rainbows in everywhere. And a unicorn singing Sky Full of Stars in the distance. And they live happily ever after. And it’s a fairytale. And that part never happens because IT IS TRAGIC AND THEY DIE YOUNG.
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backpackingspace · 9 months ago
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Okay but yin yu needs a raise this yin yu is overworked that. Where is the Ling wen needs a raise content
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sullina · 4 months ago
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i think part of what makes so many people just flock to dungeon meshi as well is that it's also a story involving an autistic main character, who actually IS the main character
Because many stories will have an autistic character in them and then the story is more about how all the neurotypical people AROUND the autistic character deal with the characters autism, and the autistic character ends up as a side-character in a story that's supposed to be ABOUT them.
But in dungeon meshi, Laios especially is so much the main character! And i know he's not the only one, and not the only autistic character obv, and i know the story isn't about just him alone OR his autism...
But we get Laios' perspective. On just about everything. The story is, in the roughest terms, about the party venturing into the dungeon in order to save Falin, who got eaten by the red dragon. They're on a time constraint and have no money or equipment except what they literally have on their backs. That's the story.
Another author, a worse author, probably wouldn't have made Laios the party leader. A worse author would've relegated Laios to the "weird, awkward newbie who's excited about monsters but doesn't have the slightest clue or experience with them" who's job would've been to cite fun facts about whatever monster they encounter from some book he carries around, and the main interactions between him and the party would've been them yelling at him or calling him weird, to the point where you're wondering what this characters purpose even is in the story beyond comic relief.
And I'm so glad we didn't get this.
Instead of a story that emphasizes how "weird and unlikable" this weird character is, we get Laios being the partys leader, who, yes, is weird, but also competent and knowledgable and skilled and also is still a full character, with thoughts and feelings of his own, who actually speaks his mind and interacts with others on equal footing, who defends himself when he KNOWS he isn't in the wrong.
Laios and Shuros confrontation is both shocking, and also a huge breath of fresh air.
(Also, i know that "Shuro" isn't his real name but i can't remember his real name and I can't be bothered to look it up rn)
Shuro tells Laios to learn to read the room. A worse author would've had Laios apologize to Shuro for his own incompetence, but instead of meekly accepting that accusation, Laios throws it back in Shuros own face. That Shuro should've just been direct and honest with Laios when he KNEW that Laios wasn't getting it, instead of just playing along and letting that resentment fester.
And Laios is not only shouting it out, speaking his mind, and refusing to be treated as lesser than anyone else just because he can't "read the room", but he's also portrayed as RIGHT! Shuro would've have had to put up with Laios, whom he didn't like, but whom he let believe that they were friends, if he had just TOLD Laios he didn't like him DIRECTLY.
and look, i know that there's some hints or pages or whatever you wanna call them, that Shuro is also autistic, but comes with a different background, which basically just makes him and Laios incompatible in a certain sense.
But even with all that, Shuro still had no right to fault Laios for his shortcomings, when his own shortcomings played just as much of a role in their eventual confrontation. And the difference? Shuro KNEW how he himself AND Laios felt, but Laios only knew how he himself felt. Shuro was at an advantage in their situation, and he still faulted Laios and made him out to be this villain, who was purposely trying to make Shuro miserable, when Shuro himself NEVER opened his mouth to correct Laios!
And the thing is, Shuro isn't in the wrong for not liking Laios. Shuro is in the wrong for blowing up at Laios without EVER even giving him the chance to correct his behaviour!
And Laios KNOWS this, and he REFUSES to just apologize for something that wasn't even his fault! How could he possibly have known Shuro didn't like him, when Shuro never gave him any kind of indication of that fact?
And that's just it, isn't it?
Because I know I've experienced this kind of situation, even if exact memories don't come to mind, and I know other autistic or otherwise neurodivergent people have experienced this kind of thing. Of someone whom they were just having a normal conversation with or whom they considered a friend, just randomly blowing up at them for no conceivable reason. From our perspective, the other person just randomly decided they didn't like us anymore, didn't care about us anymore and wanted to be rid of us, or decided we were suddenly just evil, and they got mad at us, yelled at us, called us names, and then just left. And we're left confused and sad and, having no other information to go off of, because none was given to us, are bound to come to the conclusion that there's something wrong with us. We're just not likeable and any kindness from other people coming our way is just them being too polite to say anything until they've decided they had enough of us and abandon us. Because they never liked us. They were just too polite to say anything until they couldn't take us anymore.
#i won't lie that specific situation feel pretty personal#not to me specifically but to the author#because I'm not sure if any “normal” (neurotypical) person ever thinks about things like this#they just think we're dumb or malicious or something and don't even consider that maybe we just don't have all the pieces#and instead of just telling us we get treated like we've either evil or like we're children with the end result being that we get yelled at#and abandoned#oh hey while writing this a memory DID come to mind#in elementary school i wanted to play with these two classmates#and the thing is that they've apparently decided to play tag with me on the playground#except they didn't tell ME#so i was left looking for them all over while they kept running away from me for reasons i had no idea of#and the only reason i figured it out is bc i actually did get to see them once and was making a beeline for them only for them to point at#me and run away the moment they saw me#and i saw them doing that since i was beelining for them#can you imagine how hurt and betrayed i felt after that?#i had no idea why they were running from me#it's been 15 years and i still don't know#so the only reason i have left for why they could've done that is as a mean prank on me#because what other reason could there have been?#i've never been mean to them as far as i knew. from my perspective there was no reason for them to dislike me#and i know that others have had similar experiences and is it really any wonder that neurodivergent people have so much trouble making frie#*friends?#dungeon meshi#laios touden#laios dungeon meshi
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