#so why can't i think I'M hot???? I'M a bigger bitch

[softgothbabe]

.

[itsthesinbin]

Laios Touden x Fat!Reader (SFW AND NSFT)

I'm gonna do individual posts just so i dont feel pressured to write a bunch at once

here's the first of the fat!reader stuff- my boy Laios!

for my fat bitches and bastards who get tired of ONLY seeing chubby!readers and how they're all cutesy and insecure about their bodies.

SFW

⦁ We already know Laios likes fat fucks. It's canon from the short orc segment tbh. ⦁ Golden retreiver boyfriend with the brain of an orange cat. He's very affectionate and very stupid (lovingly). ⦁ He's physically affectionate and kinda just. grabs part of you when cuddling. He doesn't mean anything by it but they're called love handles for a reason. ⦁ Emotional support stomach. Like how a woman just grabs her boob for no reason, Laios does the same to your stomach (or your boob if you have them and let him do that). ⦁ "Laios" "Yes?" "Stop jiggling my stomach." And he gives you the puppy eyes cause he's a big weenie. He catches you doing it to yourself later and just "WELL WHY CAN'T I DO IT THEN!!!!" Sometimes you just gotta slap your flab around don't lie to me and say you don't do it. ⦁ Putting the tall in Tall-Men, his clothes fit you so you're often stealing them. He actively gives you clothes to wear and wash so they'll smell like you/your soap when he goes into the dungeon. ⦁ If you go into the dungeon with him to find Falin, he gets worried about your caloric intake (and everyone else's but bigger ppl like you, himself, and Senshi need more calories) and double checks with Senshi that you got enough food. Senshi gets offended that he thinks you're not being fed, but Laios is just worried about you. ⦁ Personal hot water bottle. Extra body fat means you keep heat so if he's cold he's instantly in your sleeping bag- or he begs you to get in his.

NSFT

⦁ Please sit on his face please please please please please please for the love of god please. ⦁ Very much the type to get a GOOD hold on your hips and ass. If it's got meat he's grabbin it. ⦁ Has asked for a boob job at least once if you got them. He'll respect if you say no, of course, but he does pout a little. Not in a guilt trippy way his dumb ass does NOT know how to hide his emotions. ⦁ He's very sloppy and inexperienced, but he is VERY enthusiastic. ⦁ Praise kink to the max- loves telling you how good you look and feel, and absolutely melts if you do the same to him. ⦁ Sucks dick/eats pussy like it's his last meal you WILL be walking funny later.

[boizandgurlzinthehouse]

𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦.

kurt cobain x fem!reader

summary: after breaking up with courtney, kurt can breath beside his beloved y/n. his soul is free, but y/n's dreams aren't. trigger warning: knives, bad dreams, baddy written fluff (?), courtney is evil in that one word count: 1.169k

it could be a peaceful night, after days of fight –divorcing from courtney, y/n wanted to be beside kurt, supporting him by taking care of frances at home, or taking a confession on court, admitting to them that courtney in fact, were not okay. hanging out with them, it was y/n, who got a call from him when he locked up himself behind doors, when courtney called the police that he was trying to murder himself with a gun. getting there at the same time as the cops, she was the first witness the law called. after the sentence that kurt and courtney was no longer a couple, kurt and y/n went home. their romance started under his marriage, but it wasn't real cheating, y/n was too freaked out to do anything before their divorce. she didn't want to be a homewrecker, and plus, courtney frightened her until the end.

as courtney collected her leftover clothes, y/n turned to make some tea. she wished that the other woman could get away quickly, and the kettle boiled for too long.

"you know, i always wondered why kurt wanted you. i mean, you are truly beautiful, i can't take that away from you, it's just... you are so fucking dumb."

"...sorry, what?" y/n turned around. courtney leaned on the doorframe, smiling.

"you re so fucking dumb, really, really dumb if you think he's not gonna leave you. you are boring for him, yes, your... secrecy can be hot for awhile, but it's not enough to keep him."

"i'm sorry, but... why can't you accept the situation?" y/n barely whispered.

"why are you saying always sorry?" courtney's face was suddenly closer, her mouth grew bigger, and claws crawled on her fingers as she began to get closer to her. suddenly, grabbing y/n's shoulders, she grabbed her, tossing on the bed where usually she and kurt slept. something gleamed in the low light; a knife –courtney was holding a knife, pointing it to her. "sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry! you should apologize for being a whore and taking away my life!"

"i can't to anything, it was your fault!" y/n cried, trying to free herself, but courtney was too strong. way too strong, she draw blood from y/n's wrist.

"OF COURSE YOU CAN!" it wasn't her sound, it was like an animalistic scream, from the deep of her throat, her soul. "YOU CAN'T GET AWAY AFTER ALL OF THAT! YOU STOLE MY LIFE!"

"no!" y/n tried to scream. no, no, no, no!

"y/n, y/n..." courtney pointed the knife at her skin, slowly pulling it. she didn't felt pain, but it was terrifying.

"no, please, please no!" shaking, it was no help. no way out, she's gonna die here–

–in this stupid dream.

"y/n, please, wake up." it was kurt, but for a moment, and as he turned over her, she thought it was still her dream... or worse, that it was in fact, reality and that crazy psycho-bitch came to murder her. screaming, she looked at her wrists, almost hitting her lover in the head.

"courtney, kurt, what... what?" a single thought couldn't form in her mind as she fought her tears, catching her head from side to side to check that she wasn't in danger. "she's... where... she was, i don't, i'm sorry, just..."

"y/n, please, listen to me!" kurt pleaded, holding her face between his palms. "it was just a dream, just a dream, love."

"a dream? my wrists..." she murmured, looking at her hands. kurt held them, kissing it as they explored them together.

"see? nothing happened to you. your wrists are alright, just as your lovely body."

"yeah..." y/n nodded, inhaling and exhaling, kurt did it with her. tilting her forehead to his, seeking comfort from him. she still couldn't believe what she dreamt, it was so... real. but she didn't want to tell it to him, because it would just rile him up, and he deserved a good sleep after tiring days.

"or should i make some tea? it may help you to calm down." he asked, ready to stand up from the bed, making y/n whine like a baby cat and claw after him.

"please don't, just... stay here with me."

if you go away, maybe you never come back. she knew it wasn't true, but still, it was better to be safe than sorry.

"okay, then i'll just hug you until you're alright." he said, touching her chin, making her nod.

"yes, please." y/n ducked herself under his arms, not daring to close her eyes. the warmth of his body calmed her down, grabbing the back of his t-shirt, she didn't want to see him cry. stroking her back with his fingers, kurt kissed the crown of her hair.

"do you want to talk about it?" y/n shook her head. "no problem, babylove. you'll talk about it when you're ready."

"just some nasty things happened to my wrists." she murmured, making him look down to her.

"only in your dreams, darling. i'd never let anything happen to your precious wrists."

he helped her peeling off her sweated t-shirt, giving her a new one. offering her to bath, she declined. she was too scared to stay away from him even for a moment, so he just opened the window, the noises of the city always calmed her down since childhood.

"sorry for waking you up, baby." she whispered, facing him as he kept her lose by keeping his hand on her back and her hair, twirling her locks around his fingers. "i wanted you to sleep, to get rest."

"don't you dare to say sorry, love. i'm here to help you, just as you helped me these days, didn't you?" kurt asked, not even waiting for an answer, because he knew she did it. "we're here to help each other, and as long as i see that you're alright, it's worth everything."

y/n tried to say something, but kurt hushed her as he kissed her eyelids, her eyelashes.

"and what does matter a couple of hours? i missed you in my sleep either way. these days were tiring for all of us, but it's over now. tomorrow we gonna see bean, she's so happy for you every time she sees you."

"i'm glad." she smiled, brushing his short, blonde and angelic hair.

"i'm glad that you take part in my life. i know it's not a triumph, but..."

"it's the best thing that ever happened to me to be in your life." she whispered, giving him a longing, slow sweet kiss. resting her head on her pillow, inhaling his scent, she fell in love with him again.

"i love you, kurt." i love that you heal unconsciously the things you've never caused.

"i love you too, y/n. i'm never gonna let those ugly bad dreams get to you anymore."

and it was true. they never came again.

a/n: sorry if it wasn't that good, i'm just tryna get used to kurt's soft personality. but anyway, i like domestic fluff so maybe there's gonna be more like this.

if you want to see more of these, send me a req by comment or here

bye bye babiez

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

just a girl 2

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as possible cheating, low self-esteem, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: you move in with your sister when your luck turns for the worst.

Characters: Walter Marshall, possible Andy Barber

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

"How about something to eat? You hungry?" The man startles you as he closes the gap, looming at youe shoulder. 

You face him as your eyes round and you look past him. Everyone else is absorbed in the real party, meanwhile your sidelined with an unwanted shadow. Why cant you just be invisible like you always were? 

"No thanks," you lie. 

The smell of the barbeque is making you hungry but you don't want to give this guy any invitation to hang around. You only came for Rhiannon. You don't know why this guy is even sniffing around. 

"You vegetarian or something?" He prompts as he gestures with his beer bottle. 

You shake your head, "appreciate it but I'm not hungry." 

"Well, not hungry, I'm Walter." 

You crinkle your brow and blink at him. He nods and cringes. 

"You know I heard one of the other guys make that joke... wasn't funny the first time." 

You swallow and try to laugh, letting out a rocky croak, "um..." you give your name and tuck your thumbs into your front pockets. 

"Ah, finally, got something," he gives a slanted smirk. "So, how about a hamburger?" 

You purse your lips. You said no. You don't like repeating yourself. Just like most people, he isn't listening to you. 

"I should go find my sister," you step towards him and he moves with you. 

You stutter step, thinking for a moment he means to block you in. He backs off and extends an arm towards the rest of the yard, "maybe I'll see you around the block. Place gets boring between all these barbeques..." he finishes off his bottle of beer and eyes its emptiness through the brown glass, "I could use a distraction." 

You continue past him and take long steps across the grass. Very strange. You don't know what to make of that. Distraction? 

You hear Rhiannon before you see her. Shes giggling with one of her friends.... Staci Ann, you think. You can't keep track. She has a plate of salads and a half-eaten hot dog. She looks up as you approach. 

"Hey! Oh, didn't you grab some food?" She trills. 

"Um, no, I... it's okay." 

"No, you should eat! It's so good. They have chicken burgers." 

"I... okay." 

You turn and slink away, evading the eyes of Staci Ann and the other primped housewives. You approach the picnic table and grab a bun. You add some mayo and mustard, a slice of tomato, and a pickle, then scoop up some salad beside it. You wait your turn in the line for the barbecue and ask for one of the pale chicken burgers. 

You walk away with your fare, nearly colliding with another body. You lift your chin in fright, tearing your attention from your food. You gulp at Walter as he squints and eyes you up and done. His lips twitch and he points at you with the neck of the bottle in his hand. 

"Gotcha." 

You back up out if his way and look past him guiltily. He doesn't say anything else as he stalks by and you quickly turn to look for your safe haven. Rhiannon is lost amid an even bigger cluster. You sigh and drop your shoulders. 

You sneak over to the gate. No one seems to notice as you let yourself through the wooden door and tramp out to the front. You sit on the curb and balance your plate on your crossed legs. 

You feel bad. That guy might be a stranger but he wasn't rude. And what did he mean? Gotcha? Does he think you're a bitch? Maybe you are. Some would say standoffish or shy, but you're probably just ignorant. 

You put the top bun on the burger and hang your head. No matter where you go, you just dont fit. Hopefully you can get out of Rhiannon's hair sooner than later. You'd hate to give her a bad reputation by association. 

👟

The days are a gray smear across your consciousness. You wake up, trawl the internet for postings, and hide away from the world. You have to keep at it. Something has to give. Rhiannon seems so certain that a miracle is on its way, you just know you'll probably have to settle for less than you want. 

That morning, you wake up with a crick in your neck. You yawn and sit up as a pang shoots under your shoulder blade. You turn your legs over the edge of the bed and bend over your lap, reaching to the floor as you try to stretch your lanky arms. 

You stand straight and raise your hands toward the ceiling. Your tee shirt lifts and shows your tummy as your pajama shorts feel even more scant above your long legs. You roll your neck one way then the other and let out a whimper. Big mistake. 

You lumber to the door and listen through the wood. Your room opens into the kitchen. It can be awkward when you walk out and there's someone in there. You learned to be cautious when exiting. 

You inch open the door and look around the morning din. You cross the cool tile and take the tin of coffee grounds. You fill the filter for the machine and snap it into place. For a moment, you stop to envy your sister's perfect life as the overpriced brewer starts to whir. 

You lean against the counter and bow your head, rubbing your neck. You blow out between your lips and groan, turning to rest against the corner. You let out a babble as your surprised by a figure in the far doorway. 

Your sister's husband got back the night before. You were certain to make yourself sparse and kept your headphones on later than usual. You stand straight and keep your hand against the side of your neck. 

"Morning," you utter. 

He stares at you as he slowly crosses the kitchen, coming around the other side of the square island, "morning." 

You shy away as he takes out a mug and puts it heavily in front of the machine. He snaps shut the cupboard and you put spqce between you and him. You feel the tension roiling off him. Since you got there, he's been tense and you can't blame him. You're crashing in his spare room when he should be enjoying his newlywed status. 

"Wanna put some pants on," he says as he crosses his arms. 

You gulp and look down, "I have... shorts." 

"Coulda fooled me," he sneers, "my house." 

"Sorry, I... sorry." 

You retreat and hurry back towards your room. You didn't think they were that short. You feel the back hem. They end just at the top of your thighs but don't show anything more than leg. 

You glance back at his broad shoulders as you close the door. His teeth shirt strains across his back as he presses his hands flat to the countertop. You find a pair of sweats in your bag and pull them on. 

You don't go back out right away. You hope to wait him out and listen for the machine's grind to end before opening the door. He's still there, sipping his coffee as he stands at the island, his phone on the marble top as he scrolls with a finger. 

You take out a cup of your own and fill it. He clucks and you put the put back on the burner. He sighs and glances at you from the corner of his eyes. 

"There's instant in the cupboard. It's cheaper." 

You wince, "oh, sorry, I..." 

"You know, this isn't a charity--" 

"I... I offered Rhiannon money for groceries--" 

"She's too nice to take it. We both know that. It's my house, so talk to me. You wan a contribute, I'll gladly accept." 

You stare at him sheepishly then look at the coffee, "okay." 

He huffs again, "I don't get it. How are you related to her?" 

You shrug, "I'll get out of your way soon. Promise." 

You drag your feet around the counter and he tuts, "no food in your room. I don't need ants." 

You stop short and turn back to him. You don't get him  either. You don't get what Rhiannon sees in him. 

You near the island and sip the coffee before letting the mug rest on the marble. You peer down at the dark liquid, wallowing in his roiling silence. He bends to lean on his elbows, slurping and tapping at his phone.

"You ever keep a promise?" He speaks at last and his blue eyes flick up, "just wondering."

You frown. You have no right to argue or get mad. He has every reason to doubt you. You're certain he's heard all about your mess ups.

"Well, you know," he stands and lifts his mug and swipes up his phone, "maybe you should find a man. Maybe he could put your head on straight."

He turns and struts away, leaving you to rot in his judgement. You can't even do that. You're just a burden to everyone, even your own family.

[bleakbittersoul]

Bright out of context

Most of these are sent by me in rp some are sent by some awesome people in the server, and I think only one is from the wiki? Thanks for the help from @reddiamondgamer and @jack-of-amulets for their contributions to this list!

"The fear of spiders is kinda misogynistic."

"I think you'd be much more attractive if you ever got rabies"

"Could you in theory make yourself into jam for me?"

"How is it my fault you can't read minds?"

"Great now I'm thinking about dissections and formaldehyde and now I'm hungry"

"being meguca is suffering…"

"Where is your bathroom? I think I'd like to slam my head against a wall in private"

"This water is chunky"

"I only drink diet water"

"Have you ever gotten mad so you put a fork in someone's microwave and then irish goodbyed?"

"Water on toast"

"If you don't marry me I'm going to start collecting more of your DNA to do unethical science with."

"So if I wanted an audio clip of you meowing you'd do that for me?"

"I know what you're referring to. I don't enjoy fake animal ears. Skin an animal. Wear it's ears. Stop being afraid of commitment."

"I want to lick your eyelid."

"I like your eyes. When I first saw you I wanted to ask if I could keep them when you die but that would have been inappropriate and thankfully I don't have to worry about that. But they are lovely and I do want a bigger collection."

Screaming to wake Clef up and then trying to play it off as if he had a nightmare.

"Scientists don't get bullied enough anymore " after implying some people were baby talking an anomaly.

"I want to peel your face off and eat it it's so cute."

" I once possessed this really attractive girl and then got a job at a Walmart and started relentlessly flirting with you every time you went to Walmart to see if you would cheat on me but you never did"

"I wouldn't mind sucking on your wet hair."

"What if we kissed in the 1996 Teletubbies set "

"I want to scratch your head with my teeth."

"I like waltzes. I also like music that makes me feel like poisoning myself and or others as of right now."

"IT'S NOT A THROW PILLOW UNTIL SOMEONE GETS KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT WITH IT!"

"I'm going to lick your bones."

"I want your warm skin."

"I'll remove part of your intestine and eat it while you watch."

"I WANT TO CHEW ON YOUR FACE!"

"YURRR"

"Uhhuhuhuhuhuh" (like an angry shaken pug fly thing)

"Eyes, aren't right. They need to be improved."

"I don't have the energy to cry hysterically or resurrect you if you die. I'd still do it but it would be significantly less dramatic than it should be."

Heard their partner say "My chest is open for you to lay on" but only heard "My chest is open for you" and immediately assumed he meant for dissection. And when corrected Bright said "You're drawing a line on our love?"

"I like eyes. I have some."

"I don't mean that your eyes are pretty in a collectable kind of way they look good alive and on you…"

“…Don’t you just violently HATE having body parts?”

"My life fucking sucks because they… dont let me play with grenade launcher "

"GOD, FUCKING. BITCH! BECOME A WATERMELON." pause "[INSERT SEVERAL MORE EXPLETIVES]"

"I have two of your teeth. One bloody, one…normal"

“…We should kill MORE children!”

"I WANT THE GRAVESTONE! DO YOU WANT MY TOE TAG?"

[Dr. Bright shows signs of agitation, swearing in several different languages, and throwing equipment about the room.]

"If you ever leave me I'm robbing your fucking grave. And I don't mean that in a normal way. I would be after your organs."

"Oh skin"

"Okay to be fair I've seen screaming trees"

"WHY DO YOU HATE MY HAMSTER!?? WHY DO YOU HATE IT'S EYES??? IT HAS NORMAL EYES!!!"

“Can someone get me a shovel? I just murdered the gender binary and I need it to hide the body.”

"Human life or not I'd eat it."

"You'd make a cute poison victim"

"If I made you hot chocolate, I would make it with love and I wouldn't poison it at all"

"I fucking love carcasses. That's why I love meat, it's like edible taxidermy"

"Would you still love me if whenever someone got hurt in a breach or someone got hurt or people get into a fight I would say and that's how it feels to chew five gum and then look away as if I'm looking at a Camara like a character in the office."

"One heart? ONE HEART?! WHAT AM I YOUR GRANDMOTHER? SOME EASILY APPEASED SIDE PIECE???"

"I want to touch you with my bones."

"Okay, well when you feel better I'll go lick a bathroom doorknob so you can repay the favor."

"Would you still love me if I didn't believe in toothbrushes?"

"You've never had your house set on fire before and it shows…"

"Are you often covered in blood. I've been covered in blood a few times. Interesting feeling isn't it? Almost primal."

"Cute color pattern. Was the theme bio hazard?"

"I'm being haunted by myself right now"

“sorry for going through the entire spectrum of human emotions in the past 10 minutes…. do you still like me? ”

"It's yellow and I wanted to think of something other than piss when I look at it. So egg. Piss egg for the piss baby."

in his most demonic voice "I'M FROM…. NEBRASKA…."

Bright: You know I once made a table set disappear.

Clef:… Did you steal it.

Bright through evil manic laughter: Yes

[ohdragonflyohdragonburnthemdown]

Blooms Base transformation in ODF

I made some small changes to Blooms base transformation, because while I love the original design, for ODF I needed something a bit different so here it is:

Ok so notes, I'm gonna talk about it and translate annotations you might not see.

This is Blooms base form at the beginning of Oh Dragon Fly. While Pyros did happen, it wasn't enough for her to earn her Enchantix. So Bloom has been fighting Valtor for three years in her first form (😅poor girl).

Since Bloom has been fighting Valtor for several years and also lived through Darkar, she changed parts of her form. Mostly to make it more combative. But there are other changes, some she made and some that just happened naturally.

One of the main points that always irked me (I know it would be a bitch to animate) was that there isn't more fire hair Bloom. So easy fix! If Bloom transforms, she has permanent fire hair. It also shows outside of transformation, if she is really pissed. It also has to do with her Dominian Heritage, but I'm gonna explain that one later on.

As for her crown…I genuinely forgot about that😂. But thinking about it I realized, if she had fire hair, you can't really grab it, because it's magical fire. Why add a crown, that possibly could be grabbed? Also why have a crown if your hair is epic as hell? So no crown.

Another biological feature are glowing freckles. I know this is fanon for many, but I have to mention it. She has them all over her body and they are actually a representation of her scales. (Im gonna explain that one later!) but because Daphne put a seal on her to blend her into Earth, Bloom only has freckles. By now the seal is broken a bit, so several features have broken through, such as the glow of her freckles and her pointy ears.

Something that she didn't do, but that happened as a result of Dakar, was that her wings darkened. It's mostly seen in the tip of the upper wing, but the main body is also slightly darker. It's a result of her trauma and the way Darkar's possession/ Dark Bloom changed her.

I also added darker shorts under her skirt, because I genuinely like the short skirt, but DAMN IT she is flying around hovering over people! She get's shorts! I made them darker mostly because I wanted some contrast.

Now for the bigger changes! I changed her arm warmers to some metal bracers. For one because Bloom is a nerd, canonically, so she took inspiration from Wonder Woman. They actually can reflect a lot of spell, making it possible for Bloom to shield herself and others in a pinch, without using magic. She can also use them to hit people harder.

Another point to them and that's is also why she has the bracelets on her upper arms is that she can heat them up. Bloom as a fire fairy isn't bothered by heat of any kind heat, so she isn't hurt, but anyone that wants to grab her touches metal that basically is still in the forge. Simple but good looking defense.

The chain on the skirt can have the same effect, but I just wanted to add more dragon elements.

Now for the big changes. I swapped out the heels for flat shoes, but changed the sole for steel toes and heels. So if Bloom kicks it really hurts and since it's metal it can also burn. The band around the ankle is just support, because you can and will twist your ankle on flat ground in good shoes, so having that is just a precaution. Also, someone tries to grab her ankle? Metal band…it burns!

The shin guards. My main objective was to add more dragon elements. So we have dragon scale shin guards. Then I realized, why not make it more practical? So I added a pointed end, that is just long enough, that if Bloom were to use her knee to hit someone she would also stab them. She has used that feature in the past, and she will absolutely use it again.

The bands are once again, both decorative and functional, because metal hurts if hot!

So yeah. There you have my explanation of Bloom's base transformation in Oh Dragon Fly!

[cottondo]

Hey babes! First of all, let me just say that I ADORE your writing <3333 I can tell you have a lot of passion for what you do!

If it’s alright with you, I’d like to request a Blitzø x fem! reader story. Preferably how he navigates a shy, sweet imp. I was thinking that they could have been childhood friends or something like that. Whatever you decide to do I’ll read (and love) it <3333

Thank you so much!!

aahww thank you sm lovebug🥹💞 I appreciate the kindness !

also,, really hope I got your request right?? I lowkey wasn’t exactly sure on what you wanted LMAO but I hope you like it regardless <3

Blitzo x fem! imp reader | navigate

The sound of your breath in a humid environment was all you could really focus on. Or, more so, trying to control it.

Blitzo insisted taking you on some stupid 'adventure', —if thats what he called it— and of course, it turned into a mission.

Why the hell wouldn't it! You didn't expect much less from him.

You particularly didn't care much for his mission work. Sure, okay, it seemed kinda cool sometimes- - but the,, almost double-dying part, was intimidating as fuck.

Keeping all your limbs attached to your body was really your biggest goal living down in Hell. It was easy enough to end up getting stabbed, maybe break a horn or two, or even end up in a shitty situation with some demon lords that rule rings trying to chase you down. Especially as an imp!

Maybe it was because you actually valued your death-life, and Blitz,, .. just didnt? But, regardless, you didn't wanna be here, doing this today.

A heavy hand rests on your shoulder abruptly, causing a small flinch to react from your figure.

Blitz leans in close, a crazy little smirky smile on his face. If the space between you got any smaller, you thought your oxygen levels would've been completely cut.

He managed to drag you into some hide out, a gun in his hand, army crawl position beside you in a long vent you two crawled inside of together. Shoulders harshly bumping against each other's to prover just how little space there actually was inside.

It was hot in here, and he was hotter, which only added to the uneasiness you felt in your chest.

"Don't tell me you're bitchin' out on me, y/n." He whispers to you, eyes focusing on your nerves. Blitz knew you better than just about anyone. And to be fair, he should. You two have been friends since childhood, so nothing goes unseen around him.

Your frown lightens, vision trailing to look back at him. "Nooo? I'm totally fine," you flash a cheesy smile back.

Blitzo's eyes roll, "Yea- ok, I'm teaching you combat, whether you like it or not, bitch. If youre gonna be working with us, you can't just sit around at the desk looking all cute and shit, everyday." He reminds you, "I need you to learn how to be more assertive!"

He thought you were cute? Ayee, score for you.

Your lips curl into a smirk over at him.

"As cute as I am, I can still be assertive." Now it was your turn to remind him.

It didnt look like he believed that statement. Actually, you knew he didnt.

"What happens when some dick fucker tries being an asshole to you? Pulls out a gun? One day I'm not gonna be able to get there quick enough to save your sorry ass." He frowns, some annoyance clear in his tone.

Your eyes widen, and your lips sound a gasp as you face him. "Oh my god- - is that the sound of you caring about someone other than yourself~?" You tease sarcastically, eyelids lowering casually again. Blitz turns away with a scoff.

"I didn't know that was even possible," you add onto the teasing, obviously getting some sort of rise out of him.

"Listen!" He narrows his vision. "Oka- you know damn well that I—"

His words get cut off. The sound of a door opening, and footsteps entering the room catch both of your attentions. You flinch when the door slams shut behind the figure. It was a short demon. Big horns, and an even bigger snout. He sort of looked like a dead pig. You cringe.

"Oh, fuck." Blitz smirks, raising up his gun. "This is too easy. You comin' or what?" His shoulder nudges yours. You give a dull look in reply. "Do I have a choice?"

"No, you don't." He smirks over his shoulder at you.

You follow close behind his army crawl towards the end of the vent. It wasn't far away at all, just totally felt uncomfortable being on your hands and knees in such a small space for so long.

Blitz quickly kicks out the vent door, and jumps down to the floor with his gun tightly in hand. Your eyes watch his figure as he lands perfectly in the room, alerting the demon who was on Blitz' kill list.

Damn.

It was kind of crazy how good his combat is. You know he has a lot of practice- - which does make you slightly worry from time to time about just how much trouble this job really gets him into. (And how much more it'll get you into if he continues to drag you along for the ride.)

With a small push, you slip yourself out of the vent, and land on two feet with a practiced swiftness. You've gotten enough rehearsal time to do small, crafty things, but you weren't perfect- - nothing like how Blitz was, anyway.

But at least you still looked good doing it.

The listed demon looks quickly between the both of you, Blitz ready with a crazed grin on his face while holding the gun, and you, with your knife strapped to your side, looking nothing as intimidating.

"Y/N! Grab him!" Blitz commands from you.

You hesitate for a second, "Blitz, do we really hav—"

"Cmon!" Blitz tosses his head back and groans, quickly rebounding and aiming the gun to the guys head before he got any bright ideas. "Lets dance, bitch!"

The demon, though all three of you were trapped in a very small room, does his absolute best to dodge each and every bullet. For a porky lookin dude, he was quick on his hooves. He managed to miss most if not all, bullets aimed his way.

You lunge forward, and tackle him to the ground like a tiger pouncing its prey. Blitz cheers you on, fist pumped up in the air as he watches with excitement down at you. "Thats what im talkin about, y/n! Now tie his ass up, we gotta use him as bait for the rest of them."

"The rest of them?" You glare in question.

His hand tosses you down a rope, which you had no idea where he kept it hidden all this time, but look up to Blitz anyway, as you struggled a little, straddling to keep the demon down beneath you.

Your hands desperately grab the rope, and you begin tying. Blitz insisted no helping, as this was his way of teaching you proper ways to hustle- - but you'd gladly accept it if he offered any.

First, you wrap up the struggling mans hands, then, you move down to his kicking feet. He managed to give your shoulder a good hit with his foot, but that only resulted in Blitz raising his own foot, and forcefully bringing the tip of his boot into the guys side. The demon lets out a groan.

"Damn, what the hell, asshole." You glare down at the demon who only glares back up at you through his groans. Your hands take the bandana from around his neck, and retie it around his mouth to prevent any sounds coming out of him.

"Great, now lets get the fuck out of here!" Blitz grins, picking up the hostage and throwing him over his shoulder with a small struggle. You follow along close behind, eyes checking both sides of you with some slight paranoia. It already came to the point in the day where you were very much over this job. Why the fuck couldn't you guys have just stayed in the circus business?

"Y/N! Take out those assholes up on the catwalks!" Blitz points to a few more demons that were going to be next on your list for the day.

While the two of you ran for the far exit, your eyes follow up to where Blitz was looking.

You spot them. "Got it!" Your voice beams, and pulling out your gun, you aim for the straps that kept the walk attached to the ceiling. One shot, you took the one side of the catwalks down, which results in the demons falling and tumbling down to the floor of the warehouse.

"Fuck yeah!" Blitz laughs as he uses the tied hostage as a punching bag for other demons that try to stop the two of you. He swings the hostage demon around, using him as his own personal weapon, causing some slight laughter out of you, to which both you and blitz were surprised about.

The demons you caused to fall, start charging your way. With a quick thought, you take out the knife strapped to your side, and get ready to use it. Blitz grins over at you. "Remember to aim for the neck!" He calls out from ahead of you.

Your smile brightens at the teamwork you both have. "Thanks!"

A hand reaches for you, but with a stealthy slide to the side, you duck under the arms and push the torso of a demon down to the ground.

This was getting . . oddly easy.

You hop over the demon on the floor, and smile brightly over at Blitz.

With you catching up to his side, your lips stretch into a grin as you open the door to the warehouse for him. “Did you see?” Your question was almost eager sounding. Breaking out of the shyness of the situation, you’ve actually gained a bit more combat knowledge.

Blitz grins over at you, throwing the hostage to the ground as the both of you make it out, and find a safer area to catch your breaths.

“Hell yeah bitch!” Blitz looked so happy, giddy, even. It was so freaking cute.

“I knew teaching you my way would pay off.” He crosses his arms, a soft smirk on his face.

Your face flushed lightly, the shyness beginning to take over just a bit. Your shoulders shrug upward, and the smile on your face was light. “Thanks,”

“I’m proud of you.” Blitz’s voice is quieter than his usual loud and obnoxious form, but you still catch it. Your eyes widen a bit, and staring at him in a small shock is all you could do for a second. “Really?”

Blitz looks flustered, so you decide to let any teasing go. It wasn’t often he would give real compliments. Even if he did know you long enough, to.

“Of course, fuck face.” He replies, rolling his eyes with a smile still stuck to his face.

You bump his shoulder, grinning just a little harder than before. “Learned from the best.”

______________________

really sorry its not my best work,, just allot goin on in life rn but I still hope you liked it anyway ! <3

[markantonys]

episode 5 thoughts!

heartbroken by no mat, but i was expecting it since min wasn't credited for this episode on imdb, and there was so much other amazing stuff going on, so i can cope. i do think they must be gearing up for a mat-heavy episode soon because his content has been so sparse thus far! we also didn't have lan this episode, which i'm good with since he got so much last week.

(minor imdb casting spoiler: ayoola isn't listed for ep6, so i'm guessing we may have no perrin next week. they definitely do have a lot of different groups to juggle! but IF mat & lan soon join the cairhien crew, we could condense things)

also sad at not much elayne, but again, the remaining episodes will probably be pretty big for her! same with egwene, that storyline didn't progress as fast as i'd thought it would in this episode, but OOF the preview for next week looks like A Lot!!

back to the beginning! falme looks SO COOL!!! and the opening scene with the seanchan was fantastic, it showed off so many different aspects of their culture in just a few minutes (namely their various Ceremonial Things and ideas of who's allowed to speak to whom)

lanfear just whispering "bitch" the second she revives killed me djkfjg what an icon. and we get confirmation that it is indeed the True Power that she used to revive herself.

Lanfear Unleashed is SO much fun oh my god, i love seeing her in full forsaken mode

moiraine telling rand that he can't sleep because lanfear will get him, girl don't tell him that he's going to internalize it and not sleep for the next 6 seasons. this season is really Wheel Of Time Origins: Rand's Various Emotional, Mental, and Physical Health Problems

elyas saying the ef5 aren't perrin's pack HOW DARE!!! i feel like they're making elyas even more standoffish/human-averse than he was in the books, which makes for an interesting dynamic and contributes to perrin's sense that his human & wolf sides can't coexist.

but hopper follows perrin!!!! the goodest boy!!!!!

AVIENDHA IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE'S EVERYTHING!!!!! although ngl her fake accent does sound a bit Fake to me lmao but i'm sure i'll get used to it after a few more scenes

hot dain bornhald is also here! he kinda compels me and i'm furious about it. if whitecloak why hot? in all seriousness, i can see already from his intro episode + the basics of his book story that he has the potential to be quite an interesting character if fleshed out more and given more screentime compared to what he had in the books, sort of a liandrin-and-alanna-like Main Secondary Whitecloak for us to follow

also he totally wants to fuck perrin you can't change my mind. buying him drinks and giving him a Cute Nickname, boy you ain't subtle! and then aviendha briefly hits on perrin later and also perrin stops her from killing dain. wake up babe, insane new WOT polycule just dropped djkfjfg

OB!!!! FREAKING!!!! SESSED!!!!!!!! with verin's detective subplot!!!! it is SO much fun, it delivers a ton of great exposition (namely about the black ajah), and it gives us a bigger peek into the brown ajah than the books ever did. i love this squad!! also katie leung was probably my first Girl Crush (not that i was aware of it) when i was like 8 so i was thrilled to see her show up here, god bless

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, IT GAVE US CONFIRMATION THAT GAWYN EXISTS IN SHOWVERSE!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH when i tell you i came extremely close both to screaming and to falling off my bed!!!! i'd been hoping for a gawyn namedrop all season but having it here was SO unexpected! my current theory is that he'll be introduced in caemlyn next season along with elaida and galad, and all 3 of them will head to tar valon to look for elayne because they're worried after not hearing from her for a long time.

also now i want a fic where the wondergirls actually do get special permission from mommy morgase to leave the tower just so that they can attend gawyn's birthday party

anyway, someday gawyn and egwene are going to kiss with tongue onscreen and haters can die mad about it <3 oooh now i have a brand-new meetcute for them to look forward to since they didn't meet at the tower!

liandrin & nynaeve's convo in the ways was so good! they continue to do amazing work with that relationship and liandrin's character. AND WHEN SHE SUBTLY FREED THE GIRLS RIGHT BEFORE LEAVING HOLY SHIT i gasped!!!!! the LAYERS they have given this character!!! because yes she serves the dark BUT she still feels loyalty to her sisters (as seen in s1 too when she appeared genuinely upset over kerene's death) and can't stomach the thought of any of them, even the light-serving ones, being collared!

suroth saying with her whole chest "oh sure you're a forsaken but you're not even of the blood soooooo" god grant me her confidence. also another great illustration of the insane heights to which seanchan high blood take their superiority complexes. good god, what's tuon gonna be like?!

avi's fight scene was just as amazing as i'd been hoping and expecting!! 10/10 no notes. can't wait to see what she can do when she has weapons at her disposal!

and later avi tells us that she is out in the wetlands Looking For Her Man (that she doesn't yet know is Her Man) <33

moiraine saying "get rand some nice new clothes" and barthanes immediately offering to dress him, Sugar Baby Rand lives on! also, anvaere and barthanes definitely thought rand was moiraine's sugar baby after they cleared the warder possibility, you can't change my mind

also also, barthanes is so surprisingly sweet! i wonder if he'll still be a darkfriend, or if anvaere will be instead

lanfear making ishy dream about caressing rand's face in bed is something i will go insane thinking about every day until i die. like oh my god i don't even know where to START with unpacking that, so i won't even try djfkjg

like for real, they ALL BUT made it explicitly canon that ishy had/has a crush on LTT/rand LMAO it's what we deserve

and we get forsaken namedrops! moghedien, graendal, and "the boys." it could be that semirhage did still make it and lanfear just chose not to go on and on listing every single one (slash the writers wanted to give themselves some leeway in specifically naming forsaken in case they don't get enough seasons to deal with all of them), or it could be that one of the statues from last season was actually a man and/or stepin's statues aren't accurate, and we've got 5 men instead of 4 (in which case i'd imagine ishy, asmodean, sammael, demandred, and rahvin)

i'm gonna have to watch this ishy & lanfear scene again to pick up more because i was FAR too distracted by the initial homoeroticism to keep focusing lmao

aww i'm kinda sad not to get elayne & nynaeve hiding out in falme completely on their own, but for their sakes it's nice they've found (been found by) some Real Adults to help!

LANFEAR'S OUTFIT IN THE END SCENE LMAO this season really just went off the WALLS with horniness and kinkiness, and i am here for it. it's what rj would've wanted

now that moiraine and rand are indeed staying in cairhien after all, i really think we might get a cauthor reunion next episode!!!! fingers crossed!!!!

[inspector-montoya-fox]

You know sometimes i like using my tumblr as like a brain rot bank? Like a time capsule for thoughts and opinion that cater to no one but everyone is welcome to enjoy and partake. And today i'll be doing just that because i have finally finished The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles. If you've been following me for a while you know that this is lowkey monumental because (a) it means that i have officially played all Ace Attorney games, and (b) i have been struggling to finish these two games since their bundled release three years ago. So, i just wanted to share some general thoughts, some tier lists, and feel free to let me know what you think if you read what i have to say!

Ok so, my main takeaway from playing the two games is that... Dr Courtney Sithe is a bad bitch deserving of the same praise as Franziska, Lana Skye, Justine Courtney, Dee Vasquez and Calisto Yew. I genuinely love her so much. Miss Buttplug Hair got her PhD in being a girlboss and i'm so upset she was only in one case. For such a cool character with an amazing design, she was criminally underdeveloped. Same goes for my other fav, Rei Membani. Soon as it was mentioned that Professor Mikotoba and Judge Jigoku were on their way to the UK, i was one hundred percent sure she'd accompany them, and i was ultimately disappointed. To have her right next to Susato on the game's cover art and give her such an amazing takedown of Raiten Menimemo... and then just not have her be anywhere else was such a shame. I need more Dr Sithe and Rei !

The rest of the games' characters were a bit of a mixed bag with some obvious (and some unexpected) stand-outs. Here's my tier list:

Notes:

The biggest surprise that came when i was making this is how high i placed Herlock. I started off hating him so much and then he just suddenly grew on me so quickly, i hadn't even noticed. One of my favourites for sure.

I think we can all collectively agree that we have, at some point in our lives, embodied Pop Windibank... poor guy...

I don't know what Kazuma's deal is. He starts off as Ryunosuke's Mia Fey before um... just becoming a jerk? Why does he have beef with his best friend who was literally mourning him for almost a year? Can't lie though, the bitch looks hot in his white uniform.

Some of the jurors made a bigger impression than actual characters/ witnesses, just by having cool designs. Mainly the green lady, who rightfully earned her spot in the third tier after i found out she's supposed to be a reincarnation of the teacher from PLvsPW !

Eggert Benedict or whatever the fuck that rich breakdancing asshole is called, cannot be a final villain i'm sorry. Seriously, what were they thinking?

The two redheads are such a shameless rip-off of the Skulkins. Two ruffians taking the witness stand for the game's climax AGAIN !? And during the credits, they pose in their prison cell with "Gossip" in the middle the exact same way Eggert and the Skulkins did in the credits of Adventures, like no thank you.

I love how my overall bottom 3 are an annoying str*ight couple and a child.

If Stronghart wasn't in the second (very coveted) tier, he'd be in the bottom of 'like !' because he was ok. It's blatantly obvious he's the big bad from the second he's introduced but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Also, i need him and Damon Gant to have a fat titty bounce-off.

Moving on to criticisms, i can't help but feel like the fact that Shu Takumi decided to split his original script into two games only served to hurt the entire project. Because, for starters, each game has a different feel and the two don't match. Adventures is reminiscent of PLvsPW, Takumi's whimsical and eccentric love letter to the UK that hinges heavily on exposition. Resolve, on the other hand, is a bit of a mix between its predecessor and traditional Ace Attorney, its cases focusing more on driving the narrative to its conclusion rather than experimenting on the classic formula (as with the first game). It also echoes aspects of the first Investigations, bringing in diplomatic immunity, international relations, "tracking down and going against the head of the evil organisation" (the Reaper storyline is very similar to the Yatagarasu one). Personally the two vibes don't mesh, even when Resolve tries to latch onto Adventures with Memoirs of the Clouded Kokoro, for example.

Then, the pacing in both games is all over the place. Adventures is just so unreasonably and unashamedly long-winded and slow, it's the reason it took me literally three years to get into it. The game repeats the same lines of dialogue again and again until they're made painfully clear, subsequently making the player (or at least me) feel like an idiot who needs to read the same thing 13 times in order to get it. This, coupled with the fact that actual gameplay was almost nowhere to be seen and that progression in the courtroom almost always relied on not pointing out inconsistencies but pressing the witnesses adjacent to the one testifying, made the game such a slog to get through. And once the game started to pick up, it was over before i even knew it and in a very unceremonious fashion no less. In comparison, Resolve is very streamlined, albeit a bit too fast-paced. With the exception of Memoirs, which felt like shameless filler, it's clear that they wanted to waste zero time and crammed so much stuff into the episodes, to the point where it became difficult to keep track of everything going on. Because, keep in mind, the second game was tasked with tying up all the loose threads from the first one.

This leads to my final criticism regarding the split: inconsistencies and unresolved mysteries. I think it reads as careless writing when questions keep sprouting everywhere and their answers are reserved for the final two episodes of the second game. Even Unspeakable, a final case, introduces mysteries tied to the overarching narrative just for them to be shelved until Twisted Karma, leaving the player with a sense of dissatisfaction when the game ends. Not only is it frustrating to keep track of all the unsolved mysteries, a chore which good writing would not expect from the player, but it also has you questioning whether or not some of them will get answered at all. Why was the selection of jurors obviously rigged? Why did Van Zieks stop appearing in court five years prior? Where did he lose his gun in Twisted Karma? Why didn't Stronghart assassinate Madame Tusspells as well? Why is Kazuma fully exonerated after admitting to his involvement in the assassin exchange? I grouped the unresolved mysteries with inconsistencies as one problem because the latter is a result of the former. The majority of mysteries spills over from the first game to the second, giving way to different phrasing, details getting glossed over and the plot's consequences getting ignored. There's a very apparent shift in Gregson's character, for example, going from uncooperative and rigid in Adventures to more forgiving and helpful in Resolve, all the while his misconduct from Unspeakable is seemingly forgotten and met with zero ramifications. There's also the government's secret message about the assassin exchange Herlock deciphered at the end of the first game, which sets up the second game nicely but then doesn't get mentioned until the very last day in court. Like, come on now. It feels like Resolve continues Adventures' story without wanting to acknowledge it because, in the grand scheme of things, McGilded and Eggert Benedict seem to not matter at all. And then there's Memoirs, which... Inconsistency City, honestly. This episode's lack of impact on the overall story allowed it to be literally anything else. It's such a bizarre choice to have it be something which only achieves in taking away from the first Clouded Kokoro case! Like ok, i can get behind it being a case no one wanted to talk about so it didn't make the first game. I can turn a blind eye to the inconsistent character development and timeline, whatever. But it absolutely drives me nuts that, for an Ace Attorney game where the murders are explained in full detail, they couldn't stay consistent with the direction Olive Green was walking in. Hate. Loathe. Get it away from me.

That pretty much covers it in terms of complaints, because otherwise i enjoyed my playthrough quite a bit actually. I know i've just spent like 3 mega-sized paragraphs complaining but the games have great elements as well. The Deduction dances are easily the best thing about the gameplay, especially when you didn't see them coming. They were so much fun to play, very animated and cartoony with amazing banter, and effortlessly accelerated the investigation segments. Equally, i loved Judicial Findings. Undoubtedly my favourite part of the courtroom sections and a welcome change of pace. I tended to stall a lot because the jury's music fucks so hard. While on the topic of what i liked, Ryunosuke and Susato's chemistry rivals what Phoenix and Maya have going on. Susato leaving at the end of Adventures was a genuinely effective point in the plot, even though i knew she'd be back.

Now, let's take a closer look at the episodes. Here's my overall tier list of all Ace Attorney cases, the Great Ace Attorney ones being highlighted in yellow:

Notes:

Blossoming Attorney gobbled the rest of the girls right up (a court-only episode, no less). They gave us Susato gameplay, what more can you ask for? An amazing case. Gay Women in STEM !!

Return kinda strikes a nice balance between the different feels of the two games i mentioned before. You've got exposition and world-building with the whole Great Exhibition, turn of the century mad science thing, but also classic Ace Attorney with tracking down Drebber (very Matt Engarde's apartment) and Madame Tusspells as just some witness (very Lisa Basil). A very fun case right before the clusterfuck of mysteries ensues. Also, Dr Courtney Sithe !!!!! Girl you're such a star and you don't even know it spit in my mouth

Was tempted to put Unspeakable in the second tier but i think it's earned its high placement on its own merit and not because of personal bias. It's a great case. Maybe not for a final one, but it's still great. It tries its hardest to tie up some loose ends before the game ends and that's worth something.

Resolve of Ryunosuke is objectively better than Twisted because i could not give less of a fuck about the purple guy's headache and Espella Cantabella selling firecrackers, but they're both very much one single package. Extra points to Resolve of Ryunosuke though for having its villain sit at the judge's seat. That was neat.

The two Clouded Kokoros are giving stinky Bri ish culture with the whole apartment building background, like Ribena, bad teeth, rusty Union Jack, horseshit breath at the pub, you awrite luv? Slander, i'm sorry.

Slightly unrelated but when i was making this tier list it became so obvious that Investigations 2 is the crown jewel of the franchise. Like it has two cases in the top 5, how can you even argue against that?

Arriving to a conclusion, i'd say both games belong on the same level as Apollo Justice: a blend of good and bad. My experience playing the Ace Attorney franchise has followed this trend of attaching each game to a pivotal moment in my life. I finished the first game while i was still a soldier, Justice for All during my first year at university, Dual Destinies during Covid lockdown, Investigations while helping my parents set up their shop one summer. So i know i'll look back at playing The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles right after handing my dissertation very fondly. In other words, despite not quite sticking the landing, it's left a very pleasant aftertaste. Thank you for reading!

[noyoucannotpushthevoid]

Raven Cycle characters as Things People I know have Said (basically Henry/K Edition)

“What’s up chuckle fucks?” - Ronan “Bigger is bigger” - Ronan “I summon thee, [Chainsaw]” - Henry “Taking lethal levels of psychic damage at age 7 isn’t good for development” - about Ronan “Bitch” (about a crying child) - Ronan “When a fish and a woman love each other very much…” - Henry, no explanation “He’s deceptively smart for his appearance” - Henry about Ronan “Hi, I’d like to buy one mayoral office please?” - Henry joking about Gansey’s parents “I’ve been told I make a good distraction” - Henry “We’re all fucking lemmings here” - Blue pointing out they’d all do anything Gansey asked them to “The magic sex wizard put them in the same body” - Henry “‘[D]o a superhero landing’ (Ronan) ‘I was just going to ask if I [could] do a superhero landing[!]’ (Noah)” “I have no context for lemmings” - Ronan “That’s alright Captain, we can buff out those scratches” - Ronan after absolutely wrecking the pig beyond repair “[Gansey] and [Ronan] couple moment” - Henry “Raisinify your bucket hat” - Matthew scrunching up his bucket hat when nervous “How can [Gansey] be depressed with that much cake?” - Henry “There’s pee on your key?” - Declan after finding bird poop on the Barns’ spare key and confronting Ronan about it “God’s eepiest soldier” - about Adam "'...his hair's not doing to well' (Gansey describing their new latin teacher) 'I was going to ask if he was a dilf, but that answers my question' (Henry)"  "The man [in the BMW] said the password was 'go fuck yourself'" - Adam to Declan after Declan asked what the new passcode at the Barns was "Oh, I died...oopsie" - Gansey dying for the eleven millionth time "They're uncivilized, they don't know what vodka is" - Kavinsky "May I history?" - Gansey asking to lore dump on any of his friends "If I can't clean my wounds with it, then I don't want to drink it!" - Kavinsky "Need a fire starter? Just buy Everclear" - Also Kavinsky “Your rat friend … he’s not your friend” - Gansey about Kavinsky “Oh damn he livin” - Everyone about Noah before they found his body “The fucking hot tub? Why not the regular one?” - Henry, like my DM, thinks he’s funny (he is) “Does anyone have a blanket? Just swaddle me like a fucking baby” - Ronan while sick “Can I roll insight on something? … does he think I'm a child?” - Blue anytime she meets another Raven boy “[she]’s normally small, not cursed to be small” - Ronan explaining the difference in small vibes between Opal and Blue “Who would win: some dumbass flying lizard or 50 action express?” - Ronan to Adam at 2am “‘I forget what color phosphorus burns so I'm going to say purple’ (Gansey)  ‘The answer is hot’ (Adam)”

[lemyondre]

Arcane Act 3 Spoilers

I would like to kill myself at this present moment.

LORIS NOOOOOOOO

Maddie yes that bitch can die oh finally.

THE SCENE. YIPPPEEEEE

We all won. CaitVi sex scene, TimeBomb canon, JayVik canon (its Canon because because because of they made the butterfly while embracing each other. Quite homosexual of them)

Also in ep7 when Vik and Jay were fighting, he should've smooched him on the forehead even though that shit would've hurt

Isha dying does make me sad... but I think Isha's death is there to remind Jinx that not everything is her fault and that sometimes you do things for the people you love.

STROMAE COMING OUT TO DROP.

The music this act hurt me what.

The way I knew that hooded man was Viktor.

So Sky isn't Viktor's guilt, she's his humanity and when she left, his humanity left too.

MEL MEDARDA THE WOMAN YOU ARE.

I'm sorry can we talk about Mel.

NOW WE KNOW LIKE WHY EVERYONE CAN BE INFLUENCED BY HER. It's the black girl magic- I mean the magic. The Solari magic.

Her new fit🔥😏😏

Ambessa's love for Mel is something that I can relate to but I also can't relate.

The way Heimerdinger died bro🫠 now the lorax is gone

Ekko in the alternate timeline is my man gng.

SILCO AND VANDER RRAAHHHHH the zaun dads

Silco gets hotter? I did state that I have the hots for silco..

BENZOO RRAAHHHHH. Zaun uncle

Poor Ekko, I can imagine how he felt literally seeing his dead father figure and uncle.

Now I don't think anyone can watch Arcane from the beginning without thinking about season 2.

JAYCE SUPPORTERS FOR THE WINN RAHHHHHH.

COUNCELOR SEVIKA AAAAAAA

Caitlyn and Violet had a scene in a Jail cell. In contrast to how they met. That is very Picasso, very Slay

I think Viktor and Jayce's relationship is beautiful and it evolved like a butterfly.

WHY DID VI DIE IN OTHER TIMELINE MY HEART.

Jinx is not dead guys😃

Everything hurts. My eyes hurt. The last time I cried this hard for a piece of media was probably Rise of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie.. OH and Good Omens s2e6

Okay, but Arcane is a piece of media that is the prime example what executives should be doing and that's giving artists time, paying them right and NOT TAKING THEIR FUCKING JOBS!!

Further.. I think I might combust. A03 fics anyone? Like any recommendations because I am off to listen to the music now which is a bad idea because when I'm done, I'm probably gonna come back here crying to tell you about how To Ashes and Blood has a bigger meaning and that the full version of Enemy is about Jinx and Ekko.

YES IT IS BECAUSE the Violins represent Jinx and her aggressive nature (they play soft then aggressive) and JID's part had ticking. LIKE A CLOCK?? HELLOOOO???

I'm gonna go be like spongebob and tweak in my room. Peace yall.

Thank you for the soul

Thanks for the tears

Thank you for the reunion

Thanks for the playfulness

Thank you [can't explain.]

Thanks for listening to us

Thank you for understanding

Sigh. Thank you.

Thank you for the memories

Thanks for searching

Thank you Alexander Seaver of Mako and Alexander Temple for everything.

[levmemes2]

why women kill sentence starters (pt one)

starters from the first three episodes of why women kill, season one. feel free to edit pronouns, wording, and similar.

"there's nothing sexier than a girl who likes to take care of you."

"that is one hot feminist."

"you know me, i'm never late. for a party."

"for the purpose of this and all future conversations, my dick is bigger than yours."

"how come you didn't tell me you had a new hookup?"

"it's not a party until someone breaks something."

"you think you're gonna get out of this by dying? fuck you!"

"so she's into some serious housewife shit."

"i would now like to say the two most beautiful words in the english language: three-way."

"i'm trying to get you laid, bitch."

"you can tell me about your life, i'll tell you about mine, and then we'll be friends."

"i think you're incredible. get used to it. you're really, really special."

"i wanted to look pretty. for you."

"you're becoming a good…friend. let's not let a silly impulse ruin that, okay?"

"i mean, i knew sex was cool, because I'm not a virgin."

"i can't remember the last time you looked at me like that."

"she's more than just another hookup."

"he's taking you out? in public?"

"i can't remember the last time we went dancing together."

"i think you've forgotten how much fun we have together. and i am determined to remind you."

"if love is there, then there's a path to redemption."

"you're drunk and ridiculous, and that's a nice change of pace."

"usually you're the one taking care of me when I'm doing something stupid."

"i'm gonna be somebody someday. you just watch."

"he's dead. don't you think it's time you stopped listening to him?"

"he tells me i'm beautiful when i need to hear it the most."

"he makes me laugh in a way that no one else can."

"i'm getting attached, which always leads to me getting hurt."

[autistic-crypt1d]

Stargate (1994) live blogging:

Ok so I'm a huge fan of the SG-1 and Atlantis shows and have watched them in double digit amounts each, but I haven't seen the original movie since I was like 7. I'm about to rewatch SG-1 again and I've decided to finally watch it again, here's my thoughts!

Updates:

- I'm nervous because all I remember is that I hated it which is why I never watched it again

- good lord this is a long ass intro

- ahhhh the did a shorter version for the show, I see

- did little Catherine just steal that necklace, girl wtf

- I miss my Daniel :(

- I miss my O'Neill :(

- yeesh, didn't realize how soon after his son's death this took place

- wow that was the worst sneeze I've ever heard in my life

- he's so tiny oh my god

- LUCIUS??? NO, GET OUTTA HERE, SHOO

- bro the sound mixing is killing me, Daniel is so fucking soft spoken compared to not only everyone else but the damn chalk he's drawing with

- he sounds horrifyingly identical to show Daniel

- "I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill", NUH UH

- pfffft, just yoinks his paper

- I can't look at Daniel in this outfit without immediately thinking of Anakin

- Daniel why would you draw on the screen

- I wonder why Catherine had an accent in the movie but not the show

- I'm currently unable to remember how this fits with the reveal of Earnest in that one episode

- ooooo the stargate is so much more water like here, it's even reflective

- Kaliam galaxy? That makes no sense, until the Ancient database episode, we're told it's impossible to dial outside of our galaxy without a serious amount of power like a ZPM aren't we? That's the whole reason Jack had to build that device in the ancient database episode and why they couldn't dial Atlantis again.

- she gave him the stolen necklace, how touching (sarcasm)

- does the stargate look bigger here or am I remembering wrong

- I'm so glad we got the Jack O'Neill we did, oof

- wtf is up with that stargate depiction

- why are they frosty and damp

- "that's a nice tent. Oh, we each get a rent, nice." Ah Daniel

- Ferretti, you such, and so do the rest of your buddies. The way he made fun of Jackson and threw the case at him only to then look back at his buddies for approval like the spineless jackass he is

- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

- NO SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THAT THING

- WHY HAVE WE NOT EVER SEEN THAT IN THE SHOW, WHERE WAS OUR WEIRD ALIEN FAUNA STUFF HUH???

- the captions spelled Jack's last name wrong *tsk tsk*

- of course Daniel gets dragged away by the weird alien thing

- oh shit it's the same Skaara!

- everyone being in neat lines is weirding me out

- oh boy, hate everyone kneeling for him, that's uncomfy

- ok wtf is that scanner thing cuz we sure as hell never see that again

- these creatures are clearly very prevalent in their society, it sucks so much we never see them in the show!!!

- and the same guy who plays Sha'uri's father!

- and we never see this much of their architecture again either! We only see tents as far as I can remember but they had this whole impressive city!!!

- I don't really understand why they would set up basecamp out in the open instead of inside the pyramid

- OOF that is a big ass storm

- another creature we never see again!!!!

- pffft there goes Daniel being taken again

- bro is being HANDLED

- oh dear

- oh man she looks like she's gonna cry, poor girl being offered up like that

- uh oh

- I have to say, the ship looks fucking AMAZING, respect given how old this movie is

- WOAH, THAT MASK IS SICK

- bitch the jack o'neill I know and love would NEVER, EVER give a child a cigarette and he would never teach him to smoke it either!!!

- OOOF, the gun reaction, ouch

- aw man them learning to communicate in the cave is so cute help

- hot damn this sarcophagus is like a blion times cooler wtf

- hang on a sec, wtf was the alien depicted in the walls, it looks like a freaky Asgard

- PFFFFT, not the band of kids following them back XD

- DUDE WHY ARE THE MAAKS SO MUCH COOLER

- the staff blasts and effects are ROUGH

- has Daniel literally ever fired a gun in his life at this point?

- also, why're there Horus and Jackall guards here?

- uhhhh, do the ships ever open again? I don't remember that happening

- the throne room is much more throne roomy in the movie than the show

- uhhhhh why are all his servants children

- oh wow that mask removal cgi is rough

- aaaaand Ra also looks like a child for some reason

- WHY ARE ALL THE SERVANTS NOT ONLY CHILDREN, BUT PRETTY MUCH NAKED

- does Daniel die here and get revied in the sarcophagus? He does that a lot so I'm not sure

- ah yeah, sarcophagus

- I'm so uncomfortable rn

- LET'S GO SHA'URI AND SKAARA

- the Jaffa don't seem to have symbiote pouches

- Daniel that wasn't really an explicit invitation

- "cover me!" "cover you?!?!?!"

- Sha'uri dies and comes back too?? Man what a couple

- PFFFFT that ring transporter effect

- it really sucks that he saves her only for her to become possessed by a Goa'uld for the rest of her life

- doesn't make much sense for them to be wearing the big ass helmets while in the death gliders

- what the hell is up with his face glowing and the alien face being beneath his???? Huh???? Did they just like, change their mind about what the Goa'uld were once they started making the show?? But why would the one Jaffa that was left at the SGC have a symbiote pouch??? I'm so confused

- ok well at least she seems to like him back but still

Pretty good movie overall, but I don't think I ever wanna watch it again cuz the kids thing is hella fucking weird, but I understand the show a lot more now! Except for the parts that make no sense because they made hella lore changes between this and the show.

[lucycore]

[Kiss] Peter bf one shot + Ace

Requested by: @ursatanicbunny ♡

⚠️ Smut ⚠️

—

Peter came back home pretty angry today. He had a fight again with Paul and Gene about band matters. He slammed the door, making you jump up a bit. You were sitting in your bedroom and usually Peter would come to you and hug you or give you a kiss but today that wasn't the case. You already thought that he was upset but to make sure you walked over to him and back hugged him.

"What's wrong, Peter? Did something upset you at work?" You asked in a calm way, letting your hand run over his chest to which he pushed it away with his shoulder and walked away to sit down on the couch. You sighed and sat down next to him. It surprised you to see him like this.

"Peter pls..Tell me..What bothers you?" You looked at him but didn't touch him this time to give him some personal space.

He sighed clearly annoyed. "Just leave it..You won't understand it anyway."

"Is it bc of Paul and Gene again?" You asked.

"Yeah whatever." He rolled his eyes.

"So tell me..What did they do again?"

"Like I said. You won't understand it." He looked down.

"No I will..I can help y-" He cut you off.

"FUCK YOU CAN'T OKAY?! YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING SO JUST....JUST SHUT UP!" He yelled facing you.

You froze being shocked but after a few minutes you jumped up from the couch and yelled as well.

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME? I JUST WANTED TO HELP!"

"BUT YOU CAN'T! DON'T YOU GET THAT YOU STUPID SLUT?!"

That was enough for you. You came closer to him and slapped his cheek a bit harder than you expected.

The both of you stood there quiet. After realizing what happened to him, he grabbed you by your wrist and pulled you with him to your bedroom. You started getting a little scared.

"W-What are you going to do?" You stuttered.

"Something that you'll never forget." He smirked to himself and literally threw you on the bed.

"It's over for you little slut" he started opening his belt and when it was open the pulled your pants and panties down, positioning you with your butt out. He took his belt out and started giving you hard spanks with it, making you moan and bite your lip in pain but in a good kind of pain. You could feel your pussy getting wetter which Peter noticed.

"Naughty little whore..Getting wet just from the pain." He put his belt to the side and started taking his pants off.

Meanwhile Ace who had a key to yours and Peters house walked inside. He wanted to talk to Peter since he noticed the heat between him and Paul and Gene. Without thinking much he just casually walked upstairs to your bedroom (literal Ace move) seeing Peter with his pants half down and your red ass in the air.

You and Peter just turned your heads shocked. You could see Ace smirking to which Peter smirked back. Apparently they had the same thoughts.

"So..Now that Ace is here..Why don't we just punish you together, hm?" You gulped and looked down.

"I'm in." Ace didn't stop smirking and started taking off his pants. Peter already took his off and you knew how big he was, making you scream the whole night but when Ace walked closer to you, you gulped at his size and your eyes widened. He has huge..Bigger than you would expect.

He picked you up and laid on his back making you kneel above him so Peter could still reach your butt. Peter and Ace nodded at each other and without a warning they both thrusted into your two holes at the same time. You could feel Ace's huge member almost in your uterus and Peter's big friend in your butt. They went all the way in making you moan out in pleasure. The both of them were thrusting roughly into you having Peter spanking your ass. Ace was holding onto your waist while fucking you, arching his back and throwing his head back making him look hot asf. Peter on the other hand grabbed you by the hair, pulling your head back and spanking you from time to time.

"You like that, don't you, you little bitch?" His voice got deeper what made it even hotter for you.

"Y-Yes Peter..Don't stop go faster." The pleasure was coming out of your mouth making your voice shiver.

Peters eyes got darker and he grabbed tighter onto your hair. "You don't fucking tell me what to do you whore."

He didn't go faster but harder, pushing your back down on his dick, making you scream out in pain. Ace just smirked at your face full of pain and thrusted faster into you, hitting your g spot. You got pleasure and pain at the same time which made you go crazy. Even tho Ace loved seeing you enjoying his cock he knew it was a punishment so he pulled out his cock, leaving you sighed in despair and frustration.

He kneeled in front of you with his dick pointing at your lips. Peter let go of your hair so your lips fell on his tip, making him breath out in pleasure. You opened your mouth and he grabbed you by your hair, slamming his dick all the way down your throat, making you choke on it. While Peter was fucking your ass and getting closer to cum, Ace face fucked you as rough as he could, making your whole face turn red and the veins almost jumping out of your neck.

After Peter finished in your butt his big load filled you up so good that your eyes rolled back almost to your brain. He then slammed his cock all the way into your pussy to finish what Ace started. (I'm listening shandi btw while writing. Their most understand song..Ok sry) Ace was close and gave Peter a sign to which Peter nodded and together they exploded in your mouth and pussy. A few seconds after you cummed as well. Out of breath you fell on Ace and he leaned back breathing heavily with his dick touching your belly but then falling back on his. Peter had his hands leaned on his waist and was also breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath.

"That was amazing." You smiled satisfied.

"Yeah it was..Maybe I should come over more often without telling any of you." Ace giggled and Peter smirked.

"Yeah..Or you just call us before coming now get off my bed!" He said with a strict but still jokingly. Ace rolled his eyes playfully and smiled at you before getting off the bed and putting his pants back on.

"Omg Ace..Why don't you clean yourself first?" You asked disappointed. (Another Ace move)

"Who cares? I'm going home anyway. He smiled brightly and left after telling the both of you goodnight.

Peter looked at you and smirked. "Round two in the shower?"

"Yes." You replied with a smirk and what happened next is left to your imagination.

[sherlokiness]

I think your Sansa chicken metaphor as foreshadowing for jonsa marriage is stronger than the blue flower sweetness meaning jonerys marriage. /s

Hi, anon! Why do I feel like you're making fun of me? I am serious about Sansa being a chicken!!! I'm sure you're familar about the trope in stories where the hero gets a reward after saving the day.

The hero will slay the dragon and get a princess' hand in marriage as a reward. Is it crazy to expect this? I don't think so. The series is ultimately a song. All the stories can't be lies. There are true knights and heroes.

The bitch growled low in her throat and moved closer. Ghost looked up, silent, and fixed the dog with those hot red eyes. The bitch snapped an angry challenge. She was three times the size of the direwolf pup. Ghost did not move. He stood over his prize and opened his mouth, baring his fangs. The bitch tensed, barked again, then thought better of this fight. She turned and slunk away, with one last defiant snap to save her pride. Ghost went back to his meal.

In the first book of the series, Ghost faces off against a mongrel bitch bigger than him and will successfully defend his prize. What's the prize? Sansa/Winterfell.

"Hungry again?" he asked. There was still half a honeyed chicken in the center of the table. Jon reached out to tear off a leg, then had a better idea. He knifed the bird whole and let the carcass slide to the floor between his legs

The chicken is a honeyed chicken. It's sweet. *insert quotes of Sansa involving honey and being honey sweet* I'll make smth longer than this later. I think.

Arya was always quick and clever, but in the end she's just a little girl, and Roose Bolton is not the sort who would be careless with a prize of such great worth.

"Do you blame me, my lord? Such a prize is not easily won. A nubile girl, I hear, and not hard to look upon. Good hips, good breasts, well made for whelping children."

"She is old enough to be Lady of Winterfell once her brother is dead. Claim her maidenhood and you will be one step closer to claiming the north. Get her with child, and the prize is all but won. Do I need to remind you that a marriage that has not been consummated can be set aside?"

Who will win the prize that is Sansa Stark? Is this sexist? Even Jon says Arya is a prize.

He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. It was a hunger inside him, sharp as a dragonglass blade. A hunger . . . he could feel it.

Jon's hunger for Winterfell gets mingled with Ghost's hunger. Since Ghost gets to successfully eat the honeyed chicken, I'm gonna assume Jon's hunger will be satisfied.

Red eyes, Jon realized, but not like Melisandre's. He had a weirwood's eyes. Red eyes, red mouth, white fur. Blood and bone, like a heart tree. He belongs to the old gods, this one. And he alone of all the direwolves was white. Six pups they'd found in the late summer snows, him and Robb; five that were grey and black and brown, for the five Starks, and one white, as white as Snow.

He had his answer then.

Indeed, Jon forgot about the WF hunger because of the appearance of Ghost and how he's different.

Jon said, "Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa."

Winterfell belongs to Sansa.

Then Ghost emerged from between two trees, with Val beside him.

They look as though they belong together.

And Sansa belongs with Ghost.

[danielfeketewrites]

The Marvels (2023)

Not usually reviewing films but here we are. A friend of mine invited me to the cinema to see The Marvels. And so we did, two days ago.

Neither of us expected much. I haven't seen Ms. Marvel. I thought Captain Marvel was 'meh' and a bit bland. Not offensive in any way (if you discount the blatant milatary propaganda) but ultimately Just A Marvel ProductTM. And not even a fun one. At least not fun for me.

And no offence to Teyonah Parris, but her character was definitely the least interesting thing about WandaVision. That's not saying much, seeing as that miniseries was great and one of the best things Marvel did since Infinity War... But it just goes to say that this didn't seem that promising.

The trailer for it looked quite cool though.

My friend Marek, who was bitching to me about how bad Captain Marvel is for years now, invited me to see The Marvels with him in the cinema. Mostly as a joke. Although he did enjoy Ms. Marvel. But still, neither of us expected much.

To our surprise - The Marvels is really good and we both enjoyed ourselves a lot.

It's really, really good.

While I don't think it can stand shoulder to shoulder with stuff like The Suicide Squad, Across the Spider-verse or GotG Vol. 3, I still feel comfortable calling it one of the best superhero movies of this decade so far. It's easily the 2nd best MCU movie since Spider-man: Far From Home, imo. (admittedly, I haven't seen all of them, so take this hot take with a grain of salt... I just really enjoyed The Marvels)

So now I'm gonna do a wee bit of gushing about some of the reasons why it's so good. (spoilers bellow)

Carol, Kamala, and Monica are just really fun to watch? Their interaction is amazing.

Kamala can be a bit cringey but in an authentically teenage way and I really enjoyed that! Her being a huge fan of Captain Marvel never stopped feeling real. Yeah, of course she's into RPF.

Consequences! I love when things in stories have consequences. And this is all built around consequences to the stuff Captain Marvel did. She did them with good intentions... But that didn't necessarily matter. And I love that. It adds a bit of complexity and nuance that's less and less common in superhero movies these days.

Which ties into... Carol not being perfect. She's amazing and powerful but she can't save everyone.

Carol is also... really fun? With a slight nudge she just became a really well-written, interesting protagonist? I love this version of Captain Marvel and I want more!!! Brie Larson finally gets to show off a bit as an actress!

She just really gave me Xena vibes, in the best possible way.

While the villain isn't an all-time great, the actress went for dignity and it payed off. She feels iconic and you understand where she's coming from.

Monica's sacrifice was quite powerful and kinda hit me.

The "training sequence" where Carol, Monica, and Kamala are practicing the switching is perfect. I love it. No notes.

I love that while it's only an indirect continuation of Captain Marvel, it takes the best bits from that film and builds on them. For me, Goose is the best bit of that film - a cat, but make it eldritch and alien, as well as bigger on the inside? Nice, love it. So what do we do with that idea the second time around? MORE CATS!!! I got a bit excited when I saw the kittens in the trailer and they did not disappoint. (Can the next movie be set on their planet? Please?)

But it's not just "there are kittens now" though. THE KITTENS ARE INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT. It's not just there to be there, but it's an important plot point. And it's so fun!

Nick Fury is also fun.

But it's not just taking what worked and expanding on it. This movie got really creative!

For example - the worlds! Especially the Bollywood planet. Great stuff.

That's just some of the reasons to like this film. I'm probably gonna watch it again when it's on Disney+

If you haven't seen it yet, go do that it if it's still playing in a cinema near you. It's definitely worth a watch if you are in the mood for a fun, well-made superhero film.

I'm really looking forward to what Nia DaCosta does next. This film really didn't deserve to underperform and I hope she gets another stab at a big blockbuster like this in the future.