#so who wins the battle?
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Soren: are you a spoon? Cause I’ll definitely lick you clean!
Corvus: We are on a fucking mission, Soren!
#sorvus#sorry not sorry#a little spicy but it’s Soren#he has no filter#neither does Rayla#so who wins the battle?#me#tdp incorrect quotes#the dragon prince
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wrestling to be the first to greet you (they broke into your house)
#null rot#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#they say it doesnt matter who gets greeted first but then go into a full out brawl to be the first.... they probably break things and then#fight again to be the second who gets greeted and then again for third.. an.d. again for fourth... then one more time for-#GYAHHHHHHHH#LIKE BRO THEY JUST LOOK LIKE THE TYPE TO FIGHT OVER YOU#THEY FIGHT NORMALLY LIKE SIBLINGS BUT THEY RAKE IT A STEP FURTHER CAUSE THEY'RE DEMONS BUT IT'S NORMAL TO THEM#AND WHY IS ZOHA THE STRONGEST???? YOUNGER = STRONGER????? PHYSICALLY?????? IM SEEING IT THAT WAY#IN THAT CASE ITD MAKE SENSE SINCE THE OLDEST IS HANTENGU HIMSELF..... AND HES...... HIM#i always see sekido losing wrestling battles and Aizetsu being the one to win if its pure strength alone#bUT if theyre playing dirty i can see the turning tables...... but maybe thats for another day....#GYAH FUCK THE POWER SCALING BETWEEN THE FOUR BRO I NEED TO KEEP GOING#THESE MFS ARE TESTING MY ABILITIES WITH HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TO KEEP DRAWING THEM...#FOR NOW LOOK HOW MUCH THEYRE DUMBASSES#and yes. the crotch shot to urogi was intentional on aizetsu's part. hes so subtle mean girl coded to me
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I think a lot about Leo’s tendency to push his way into the spotlight despite clearly being a natural in the shadows. Hell, you could argue that his worst moments are when he’s forcing himself onstage, and his best are when he does things no one notices until it’s already been done.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#His aptitude with subterfuge sleight of hand stealth and speed really push how being a ninja really comes naturally to him.#it’s arguable that his desperation for the spotlight and validation is an act of subterfuge against himself#note that when he’s offered a job as a mascot he’s fine being unknown#when he and splinter win the battle nexus Leo immediately says ‘they love YOU pops’#idk I think so much about how good a ninja Leo is#and how much his persona is more an actor#Leo as a tot is shown a natural skill at katana too so hear me out-#every Leo is a natural ninja but every Leo’s route in life is directly tied to their splinter so#since rise splinter is an actor Leo too aims for it#and he brings it into his whole life - masking always because a Leo makes what they do who they are#I think that Leo naturally falls more in line with that of a typical ninja#his eccentric performer self is his subterfuge skill just set to an 11 at all times#not that that’s NOT him - like I said it’s still undoubtedly a part of Leo#but? idk I think about little moments like Leo being the only one to choose stealth in bug busters#or Leo being the only one to almost get Gus’s dog tags in The Ninja Art of Hide and Seek (he was so close but luck was against him alas)#like- he’s clearly in his element there and he falls into those skills so easily#it’s like how everyone has skills in so many things but some exceed more in some than others do#like Raph? Raph’s the biggest Hero of the bunch of them let’s be perfectly real here. Raph is THE Hero#All the boys are smart in their own rights but Donnie is THE Genius.#and they all have mystic powers but Mikey is THE Mystic Warrior with immense untapped potential#likewise Leo I feel is THE Ninja#but yeah I love how much Leo goes for the spotlight anyway for better or for worse#he IS a performer again make no mistake! but again the way he does it still lines up with his natural ninja aptitude and I love it#Leo loving magic tricks and magicians so much works doubly well here because like#you’d think he’s focused solely on the performance flair - no it’s ALSO and ESPECIALLY the DECEPTION
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MORE SCARVIO DOODLES featuring me getting the hang of drawing Nemona
#kieran and nemona friendship means everything to me you dont understand#nemonas someone who loves battling even if she loses. the experience was still fun all the same#kieran was more obsessed with winning than having fun so having someone to encourage him to have fun with battling again is so good for him#<3#pokemon nemona#pokemon kieran#pokemon carmine#trainer juliana#pokemon violet#pokemon scarvi#pokemon scarlet#pokemom#my art#paldea
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Who will deal the most damage?
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#yu ziyuan#poll#Please note this is not a 'who would win in a battle if they fought each other'.#This is a 'who would be the scariest person to see on the other side of fighting ring.'#Yu Ziyuan knows how to do the bend and snap (a spine).#Lan Wangji has 20+ years of biting and scratching stored in his bones.#I missed the opportunity to give YZY sandals in pd-MDZS so I could properly say 'Yu Ziyuan con la chancla'.#However she's most likely wielding a heeled designer shoes. Steel tipped in the front and back.#As always there will be a follow up to the results of this poll. Who knows what that will be!#(I did make a 'bloodied up' version - but I didn't like it as much. Take this version as them *just before* they start the bloodshed.)#I'll post the alt on my twitter later on. For the fun!
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"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.
#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else#you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should#change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting#affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree#with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them#or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation.#the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this.#and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough.#you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you#an authoritarian.#i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont#set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU#FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police#n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be.#you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all.#what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you#throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh.#accelerationists should never be taken seriously.
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Maybe it's a 'study finds water is wet' type of thought, but
considering it's an action movie whose overall plot is "immortal warriors Fuck Shit Up™️", I think it's significant that in The Old Guard the thing that makes Copley pull red strings through his Murder Conspiracy Board and say "[Merrick] doesn't care what [Andy]'s done with [her immortality]" is the people they save, not the ones they kill
Most of the Conspiracy Board is him circling random newspaper headlines and faces on old photographs to (more or less realistically) follow the immortals' treck through the world and big historical events. Which is, in-canon, not much different than putting portraits from different centuries next to a picture of Keanu Reeves and saying "they look the same, clearly Reeves is an immortal!"
But then there are the connections. A little girl holding Joe's hand in WW1 becoming the youngest (and first) woman to be awarded a Nobel Prize for Medicine (suck it, Kozak). Or the grandchild of a family that Andy saved from [something] helping people escape from the Khmer Rouge genocide in Cambodia.
They are warriors. They have fought and been in the midst of countless wars, major or minor, throughout history. They must have killed as many people as they saved... and yet.
It's not them taking out a random warlord or dictator or rabidly hateful politician that has tangible repercussions in history. It's the children and families they get out of war zones, save from accidents, protect from natural disasters. People to whom they give a second chance at life, and grow to change the world (or even just their own world), like a mysterious stranger once changed theirs just by holding out a hand or patching a wound.
I don't know I just think it's particularly neat
#my ponderings#the old guard#I know we all love to play the 'if you could go back in time and kill One Person who would it be' game#but I think a movie that makes it EXTREMELY SATISFYING to see the Bad Guys die -#- having 'actually the best and greatest changes happen when people help each other' as its underlying message...#it means something#I also think it connects to Andy feeling like nothing she does changes anything at the start of the movie#for 80% of her life you could Solve A Problem by Taking Out The Guy Causing The Problem#especially in battle! you kill the general and you win. if you win the Problem Is Solved#but then everything becomes More Complex. the Problems™️ are globalized and/or systemic.#and Winning a Battle means just killing people. it doesn't Stop The Problem (nor really end a war)#so it feels useless#and even when they save people... they can’t stay in people's lives for long because immortality#which means they can never know what happens to the people they save#they don't (and can't) have the full picture
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Would kill to read animal POV fiction that has the animal POV’s interaction with humans be like, semi realistic to the level of caution most predators take with large prey and/or competitors (including humans).
Like instead of the usual - “the human is such a weak, pathetic creature... so slow, no claws, blunt teeth… completely helpless without its 'Fire Sticks'. how is it the master of the earth?” type crap it’s like, the bear protagonist or whatever approaches some dude who spreads their arms and yells and the bear is like “FUUUUUUUUCK THAT THING JUST GOT HUGE. IT'S LARGE AND MAKING NOISES. HOLY FUCK.”
#A lot of this realm of fiction tends to severely overestimate how physically weak humans are in the grand scheme of things..#A human body ft. no tools has a pretty average level competency at escaping predation. WITH tools it's significantly above average.#Like a lot of human physiology IS the way it is because of reliance on tool/fire use but interspecies competition/predation is really not#a literal battle won by physical strength + teeth + claws (at least until the actual process of killing)#Intimidation and shows of strength/threatening behavior can go a long way. Healthy predators (who aren't unnaturally#accommodated to humans) are generally going to be cautious and may avoid confrontations they absolutely COULD win because#the risk of injury is judged as too high#And most animals can't weigh risks in the most objective manner and won't understand that you aren't any 'bigger' just because you#wave your arms and yell. That is why puffing up/spreading out as a threat display is so ubiquitous in nature.#Massive tangent but this is why I fucking loved Prehistoric Planet so much like the commitment to having its dinosaurs behave like#actual animals is fantastic and tragically rare#Like having a scene where a T Rex gets bullied away from a carcass by two much smaller azhdarchids.. Yeah that is probably#how it would behave. It's not a mindless killing machine it's an animal so is going to avoid confrontations it deems too risky even if it#WOULD win in an all out brawl. thank you so fucking muych.
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I put them next to each other casually without much thought, but I've had to redraw them in this set up so many different times in the development of this project that I kinda ship them now??? like why are they always lookin at each other like that
#my art#vampire debutante#they dont even have names#but its funny in the very vague concept of these twos characters yellow is like the hunk that all their peers are kind of obsessed with#tiara and niamh even fight over him sometimes(for status reasons not cuz theyre into him)#but i was imagining red as like a bit dorky but sweet#girls arent into him really but they dont turn him down when he asks to dance or tries to make polite conversation#in an earlier draft i was gonna have a bit where Niamh and Tiara are both vying for red's attention and Niamh wins so they dance#Tiara's only other option then is red who isnt as hunky as yellow (L for her) as she needs a dancing partner to show up niamh with#but i didnt wanna animate the stupid little dance battle so i didnt do that#now the boys are just hanging#but the fact that i keep drawing yellow making eyes at red is so funny like thats just supposed to be his default expression but#do you think hes really into red and half of his showboating is just to try and get this dweebs attention but literally nothing works#meanwhile red's just sorta accepted his role as the dweeb that no one's into#oh my god
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Ride 784: The first day's mountain
Pag 1
3: We're passing through the riverside road
4: I see it
6: Kaka
7: Ah!!
8: Teh!
9: It's the first day's
Pag 2
1: “mountain”!!
Pag 3
2: As we “promised”!!
Pag 4
3: It's the “first day's mountain stage”!!
4: A year ago
6: Manami-kun said it after the finish line, on the third and last day of the Inter High, when both of us were all worn out and barely still on our bikes
Pag 5
1: But having our race at the end on the final stage is too much pressure
2: Next year, if we both have the chance to run in the Inter High....
3: …. yeah
4: Let's race for the mountain stage on the first day
Yeah
5: Like Toudou-san and Makishima-san last year
Onoda!!
Manami-san!!
Pag 6
1: Manami!!
Manami-san!!
2: Onoda!!
3: He collapsed!!
Manami!! Take off his helmet
It's okay, I caught him
Onodaa!!
Onoda-san
Do we have a towel?
Danchiku, water!!
4: Next year... the mountain stage on the first day.... yeah
5: Got it....!!
Pag 7
3: When you run along a river....
4: the water only flows if there's a difference in elevation, either uphill or downhill!!
5: Here it's definitely uphill!!
Even if it looks like a flat at first glance, it's gradually climbing!!
Pag 8
1: Toward that mountain!!
Reading the map, it says that it's 5km until the base of the mountain!!
2: 5km!!
3: Don't lose sight of it like last year!!
Yes!! Sorry!!
4: Hold on tight!!
5: 'Cause I'll carry you all the way to the foot of the mountain!!
Pag 9
1: Thank you!!
2: “Positioning”....!!
3: When going from a flat to a climb you need to “position” yourself
Each team accelerates from the flats in order to bring their climbers to a good position
4: It's the so called “mountain's launching pad”!!
5: There will be a difference of several hundred meters in the first stage between a climber who was launched near the front of the group and a climber who was made to run up from the back of the group
Pag 10
1: Bring Onoda to the best possible position, Naruko!!
Oh-
Sohoku is moving up!!
Pag 11
1: -ruaaaagh
Ugh!! Sohoku's Naruko is so fast!!
2: I get what you're tryin to say, Hotshot!!
I'll take him!! Definitely!!
3: That's why I left the first result to Kabu!!
4: On that winter day, with an apologetic face
5: Ah....
6: Ah- uhm, I have something to tell you, but
Onoda-kun, who told us like it was difficult to say....
Pag 12
1: Ah the stove? You can just turn it off, we're the last ones
Yeah, please. Woah, look outside, it's snowing
Seriously? It must be cold
2: That's not it!!
3: Th-th- this morning... I got a text
4: What was that, an acceptance letter?
The proficiency exam?
5: It's a reply to the text I sent....
6: Three months ago!!
7: Uhm... really, I was worried that back when we made that promise it was right after the race and we were tired, so I thought maybe he had forgotten
Three months?
It was a long wait
So I sent him a text to ask him if he remembers?
Pag 13
1: And I received it this morning
Must be the proficiency test
Shut up!!
What are you whispering idiot
“Back when”, when was it?
No idea
2:He said only one word, “of course”
4: So, uhm... this time
5: Is it okay if I run for the first day's mountain stage during this summer's Inter High?
7: Is that so? Kakaka
Onoda-kun's eyes, like he couldn't contain his excitement...
Pag 14
1: I haven't forgotten it!!
2: I can't forget it!!
3: Onoda!!
Onoda-kun!!
Pag 15
1: 2km left until the foot of the mountain!!
2: Do your beeest....!!
Aren't they climbing at an amazing speed!? Each team is getting in line!!
Yeah, you're right!!
3: Every team is trying to “position” themselves for their climbers!!
“Position”!?
4: Also, look closely
Right now, the cyclist in the second position in the ranks
Pag 16
1: is the one who will race in the mountain stage!!
Pag 18
1: Oi, are you kidding me? Hakogaku is sending Manami?
From the first day!?
Manami is in second place
2: He's the “final boss”....!!
3: My dream of getting the red bib has been destroyed even before reaching the foot of the mountain....!!
4: Oi, look over there, that's not all!!
For Sohoku....
5: Naruko is pulling the “King of the mountain”!!
Wa- we're done for!! Completely!! My mountain prize!!
Pag 19
3: Manami-kun!!
4: Sakamichi-kun!!
Pag 20
1: It's time for our promise!!
We're almost at the foot of the mountain!!
#yowamushi pedal#yowapeda#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 784#im sorry i meant to post yesterday but i completely forgot ;A;#ahhhhhh ive been looking forward to thiiiis#please gimme a low stakes battle between Onoda and Manami!!! They deserve it!! They promised each other!!#I dont care who would win (even tho i hope manami tbh) i just want them to have fun while racing eo ;A;#is that so much to ask watanabe!!! please let them have this#i hope nothing happens and they really can do this :')#i mean it seems like midosuji also plans on participating but its okay#and if kiji wants to have a go too that fine to#the important thing is that both manami and onoda are there#also lemme have my imanaru moment bc#why are they literally so boyfriends coded wtf agsfdsgdcaskdf#like literally whispering to each other when onoda says he needs to tell them something???#naruko literally reading imaizumi's mind??? please theyre boyfirends okay#this chapter is pushing me to write yet another imanaru#and also a sansaka why not im not gonna lie#i love this so muuuuuuch#i need more im so happy#1st day's mountain stage my beloved
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Valentino and Uccio hug at Welkom, 2004
#if you get it you get it#also welkom 2004 was the last time the race was held there! and it’s so narratively significant#(this was first gp after the switch to yamaha obv vale got pole and went on to win the race#also also guess who won welkom 2003 which was also a super important race narratively? SETE#kinda fitting#also kinda annoying that sete was 3rd here and vale had to fight biaggi for the win too convenient for vale’s narrative#he literaly just mentions this race as the most important win of his career and skips entire 2004 like the race itself was great but…..#nowhere near some other 2004 battles he had w sete !!!#motogp#vr46#valentino rossi
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Is it bad that I simp for an angler fish, ■■■, blue whale, great white shark, silver spinyfin, mantis shrimp, and sea snake hybrid??? :)
#sebastian solace#pressure#roblox#roblox games#pressure roblox#roblox pressure#sebastian pressure#pressure sebastian#urbanshade#poor guy#he’s been experimented with 7 things 😨#he’s so silly though#lol#jax vs skibidi toilet epic edging battle#i’m dogday and in just so sad why do bad things happen to good people like me it isn’t fair life isn’t fair#catnap vs skibidi toilet rap battle who will win comment your answer in 3 2 1#welcome to indigo park where the fun is just about to start
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inspired by @rogueddie 's post. Right Here.
120 minutes
2 hours they have been standing in front of this stupid claw machine. All because Eddie saw something inside that he was desperate to get. Whatever it was he was refusing to tell Steve who was now pressed up against the wall between the claw machine and some arcade machine. He’s confident that the other has blown at least a hundred dollars trying to get whatever he wanted.
His tongue stuck out in concentration, refusing to let Steve talk to him as it would distract him. Steve doesn’t think much of what the other is doing. The other boy did wacky things all the time. This was one of those times as he waits patiently for the other to finish. Willing to stay all night if that meant he was able to spend time with Eddie.
Five minutes later, when the boy starts hopping up and down and throwing his hands excitedly in the air. Smiling brightly at Steve before he’s turning, bending down, and grabbing whatever he caught from the slot. Pulling it back and putting it behind his back quickly before Steve could see. Moving forward into his space, a smile tugged on the scar on his face. Not leaving any space between them. A look of confusion crossed over Steve’s face trying to figure out what the other was doing.
“So what did you win?” He asks curiously, wondering what the other had spent all that time on. Must’ve been worth it by the smile on his face.
“Oh nothing,” Eddie says tiling his head to the side dramatically. “Just, you know. A bat.” He takes the moment to pull the plushie up holding it by the wing as he dangles it in front of Steve who was starting to think confusion was his default setting.
“Oh?”
“Oh? A man spends two hours winning you a stuffed bat and all you have to say is oh?” Eddie’s teasing is continuous. Constantly wrapping itself around Steve with a soft flush as a result.
Steve begins to stutter over his words as he lifts his hand up, holding the stuffy carefully in both hands. His heart swells up as he realizes Eddie spent all that time for him. As the realization hits a dopey smile grows on Steve’s face, seemingly what Eddie had been searching for as his eyes flicker down to the other's lips. Moving a hand up and carefully setting it on the wall next to Steve’s head. Not caring how close they were. Both of their faces were pink and their hearts beating fast.
“So, watcha gonna name it?” Eddie asks with a smile, one that was reserved for Steve.
“Ozzy.”
“Holy shit, I am just a simple peasant to your royalty. Oh holy one, please grace me with your presence at mine tonight.” Eddie pulls back starting to bow down at the other as Steve laughs at his antics.
“Is that your way of asking me out?” He teases playfully.
“Yes, I guess it is,” Eddie responds, hand aimlessly moving to twirl the bat's wing with his finger as he smiles brightly at the other.
#ok but Ozzy coming over for play dates with strawberry#both of them getting each other stuffed animals that are similar to their personalities is close to my heart#like Steve is a huge teddy bear who is soft and if he was a color it would be pink or yellow#Eddie is like a bat scary when he first comes at you out of nowhere but when you pay close attention you realize hes a softy#Eddie will hyperfixate on making a battle vest for Steves stuffed bat#Meanwhile Steve works on crotcheing a sweater for Eddies bear#they are so in love it makes me sick#also bats are adorable i said it#steddie#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington#steve x eddie#bxb#steveharrington#steveddie#eddie stranger things#steve and eddie#them winning stuff animals for each other#yes
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*this is not about who your inquisitior dislikes the most, it's about who is the most Co Worker Core
#dai#dragon age#we talk about dragon age being a battle of the co workers#time to see whos the most#once again i have specific opinions#mainly#its varric because thats all varric wants to be#yes even above solas#solas is way too involved with all that shit#but varric is literally purposefully trying not to get bsck into a situation like he was in in da2#because hes so hurt#hes NOT IN THE TAVERN HE DOESNT PUT HIMSELF IN THE TAVERN#anyway i reckon solas or cullen will win but reminder this isnt who you DISLIKE it's who is the most co worker core
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Hottest JoJo Character Bracket - Semifinal Match 1
#i will NEVER forgive Kars for killing abbacchio and even if i did#JOLYNE FOR THE WIN GO MY GIRL I LOVE YOUUUU#i just rewatched the beginning of stone ocean with my friend and i love her so so much#jokyne has never done anything wrong ever in her life and i love her deeply#and what does kars have going for him? hes a rock in space#who even cares abt him#kars#jjba kars#jolyne cujoh#jolyne kujo#kujo jolyne#battle tendency#stone ocean#jojo's bizarre adventure#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jjba#who's hotter jjba#hottest jjba character bracket
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oooh please someday tell us what you think of GOT
oh, no, it's my fatal weakness! it's [checks notes] literally just the bare modicum of temptation! okay you got me.
SO. in order to tell what's wrong with game of thrones you kind of have to have read the books, because the books are the reason the show goes off the rails. i actually blame the showrunners relatively little in proportion to GRRM for how bad the show was (which I'm not gonna rehash here because if you're interested in GOT in any capacity you've already seen that horse flogged to death). people debate when GOT "got bad" in terms of writing, but regardless of when you think it dropped off, everyone agrees the quality declined sharply in season 8, and to a certain extent, season 7. these are the seasons that are more or less entirely spun from whole cloth, because season 7 marks the beginning of what will, if we ever see it, be the Winds of Winter storyline. it's the first part that isn't based on a book by George R.R. Martin. it's said that he gave the showrunners plot outlines, but we don't know how detailed they were, or how much the writers diverged from the blueprint — and honestly, considering the cumulative changes made to the story by that point, some stark divergence would have been required. (there's a reason for this. i'll get there in a sec.)
so far, i'm not saying anything all that original. a lot of people recognized how bad the show got as soon as they ran out of Book to adapt. (I think it's kind of weird that they agreed to make a show about an unfinished series in the first place — did GRRM figure that this was his one shot at a really good HBO adaptation, and forego misgivings about his ability to write two full books in however many years it took to adapt? did he think they would wait for him? did he not care that the series would eventually spoil his magnum opus, which he's spent the last three decades of his life writing? perplexing.) but the more interesting question is why the show got bad once it ran out of Book, because in my mind, that's not a given. a lot of great shows depart from the books they were based on. fanfiction does exactly that, all the time! if you have good writers who understand the characters they're working with, departure means a different story, not a worse one. now, the natural reply would be to say that the writers of GOT just aren't good, or at least aren't good at the things that make for great television, and that's why they needed the books as a structure, but I don't think that's true or fair, either. books and television are very different things. the pacing of a book is totally different from the pacing of a television show, and even an episodic book like ASOIAF is going to need a lot of work before it's remotely watchable as a series. bad writers cannot make great series of television, regardless of how good their source material is. sure, they didn't invent the characters of tyrion lannister and daenerys targaryen, but they sure as hell understood story structure well enough to write a damn compelling season of TV about them!
so but then: what gives? i actually do think it's a problem with the books! the show starts out as very faithful to the early books (namely, A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings) to the point that most plotlines are copied beat-for-beat. the story is constructed a little differently, and it's definitely condensed, but the meat is still there. and not surprisingly, the early books in ASOIAF are very tightly written. for how long they are, you wouldn't expect it, but on every page of those books, the plot is racing. you can practically watch george trying to beat the fucking clock. and he does! useful context here is that he originally thought GOT was going to be a trilogy, and so the scope of most threads in the first book or two would have been much smaller. it also helps that the first three books are in some respects self-contained stories. the first book is a mystery, the second and third are espionage and war dramas — and they're kept tight in order to serve those respective plots.
the trouble begins with A Feast for Crows, and arguably A Storm of Swords, because GRRM starts multiplying plotlines and treating the series as a story, rather than each individual book. he also massively underestimated the number of pages it would take him to get through certain plot beats — an assumption whose foundation is unclear, because from a reader's standpoint, there is a fucke tonne of shit in Feast and Dance that's spurious. I'm not talking about Brienne's Riverlands storyline (which I adore thematically but speaking honestly should have been its own novella, not a part of Feast proper). I'm talking about whole chapters where Tyrion is sitting on his ass in the river, just talking to people. (will I eat crow about this if these pay off in hugely satisfying ways in Winds or Dream? oh, totally. my brothers, i will gorge myself on sweet sweet corvid. i will wear a dunce cap in the square, and gleefully, if these turn out to not have been wastes of time. the fact that i am writing this means i am willing to stake a non-negligible amount of pride on the prediction that that will not happen). I'm talking about scenes where the characters stare at each other and talk idly about things that have already happened while the author describes things we already have seen in excruciating detail. i'm talking about threads that, while forgivable in a different novel, are unforgivable in this one, because you are neglecting your main characters and their story. and don't tell me you think that a day-by-day account tyrion's river cruise is necessary to telling his story, because in the count of monte cristo, the main guy disappears for nine years and comes hurtling back into the story as a vengeful aristocrat! and while time jumps like that don't work for everything, they certainly do work if what you're talking about isn't a major story thread!
now put aside whether or not all these meandering, unconcluded threads are enjoyable to read (as, in fairness, they often are!). think about them as if you're a tv showrunner. these bad boys are your worst nightmare. because while you know the author put them in for a reason, you haven't read the conclusion to the arc, so you don't know what that reason is. and even if the author tells you in broad strokes how things are going to end for any particular character (and this is a big "if," because GRRM's whole style is that he lets plots "develop as he goes," so I'm not actually convinced that he does have endings written out for most major characters), that still doesn't help you get them from point A (meandering storyline) to point B (actual conclusion). oh, and by the way, you have under a year to write this full season of television, while GRRM has been thinking about how to end the books for at least 10. all of this means you have to basically call an audible on whether or not certain arcs are going to pay off, and, if they are, whether they make for good television, and hence are worth writing. and you have to do that for every. single. unfinished. story. in the books.
here's an example: in the books, Quentin Martell goes on a quest to marry Daenerys and gain a dragon. many chapters are spent detailing this quest. spoiler alert: he fails, and he gets charbroiled by dragons. GRRM includes this plot to set up the actions of House Martell in Winds, but the problem is that we don't know what House Martell does in Winds, because (see above) the book DNE. So, although we can reliably bet that the showrunners understand (1) Daenerys is coming to Westeros with her 3 fantasy nukes, and (2) at some point they're gonna have to deal with the invasion of frozombies from Canada, that DOESN'T mean they necessarily know exactly what's going to happen to Dorne, or House Martell. i mean, fuck! we don't even know if Martin knows what's going to happen to Dorne or House Martell, because he's said he's the kind of writer who doesn't set shit out beforehand! so for every "Cersei defaults on millions of dragons in loans from the notorious Bank of Nobody Fucks With Us, assumes this will have no repercussions for her reign or Westerosi politics in general" plotline — which might as well have a big glaring THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT stamp on top of the chapter heading — you have Arianne Martell trying to do a coup/parent trap switcheroo with Myrcella, or Euron the Goffick Antichrist, or Faegon Targaryen and JonCon preparing a Blackfyre restoration, or anything else that might pan out — but might not! And while that uncertainty about what's important to the "overall story" might be a realistic way of depicting human beings in a world ruled by chance and not Destiny, it makes for much better reading than viewing, because Game of Thrones as a fantasy television series was based on the first three books, which are much more traditional "there is a plot and main characters and you can generally tell who they are" kind of book. I see Feast and Dance as a kind of soft reboot for the series in this respect, because they recenter the story around a much larger cast and cast a much broader net in terms of which characters "deserve" narrative attention.
but if you're making a season of television, you can't do that, because you've already set up the basic premise and pacing of your story, and you can't suddenly pivot into a long-form tone poem about the horrors of war. so you have to cut something. but what are you gonna cut? bear in mind that you can't just Forget About Dorne, or the Iron Islands, or the Vale, or the North, or pretty much any region of the story, because it's all interconnected, but to fit in everything from the books would require pacing of the sort that no reasonable audience would ever tolerate. and bear in mind that the later books sprout a lot more of these baby-plots that could go somewhere, but also might end up being secondary or tertiary to the "main story," which, at the end of the day, is about dragons and ice zombies and the rot at the heart of the feudal power system glorified in classical fantasy. that's the story that you as the showrunner absolutely must give them an end to, and that's the story that should be your priority 1.
so you do a hack and slash job, and you mortar over whatever you cut out with storylines that you cook up yourself, but you can't go too far afield, because you still need all the characters more or less in place for the final showdown. so you pinch here and push credulity there, and you do your best to put the characters in more or less the same place they would have been if you kept the original, but on a shorter timeframe. and is it as good as the first seasons? of course not! because the material that you have is not suited to TV like the first seasons are. and not only that, but you are now working with source material that is actively fighting your attempt to constrain a linear and well-paced narrative on it. the text that you're working with changed structure when you weren't looking, and now you have to find some way to shanghai this new sprawling behemoth of a Thing into a television show. oh, and by the way, don't think that the (living) author of the source material will be any help with this, because even though he's got years of experience working in television writing, he doesn't actually know how all of these threads will tie together, which is possibly the reason that the next book has taken over 8 years (now 13 and counting) to write. oh and also, your showrunners are sick of this (in fairness, very difficult) job and they want to go write for star wars instead, so they've refused the extra time the studio offered them for pre-production and pushed through a bunch of first-draft scripts, creating a crunch culture of the type that spawns entirely avoidable mistakes, like, say, some poor set designer leaving a starbucks cup in frame.
anyway, that's what I think went wrong with game of thrones.
#using the tags as a footnote system here but in order:#1. quentin MAY not be dead according to some theories but in the text he is a charred corpse#2. arianne is great and i love her but to be honest. my girl is kinda dumb. just 2 b real.#3. faegon is totally a blackfyre i think it's so obvious it may well be text at this point#it's almost r+l = j level man like it's kind of just reading comprehension at this point#4. relatedly there are some characters i think GRRM has endings picked out for and some i think he specifically does NOT#i think stannis melisandre jon and daenerys all will end up the same. jon and dany war crimes => murder/banishment arc is just classic GRRM#but i think jon's reasoning will be different and it'll be better-written.#im sorry but babygirl shireen IS getting flambeed. in response stannis will commit epic battle suicide killing all boltons i hope#brienne will live but in some tragic 'stay awhile horatio' capacity. likely she will try to die defending her liege and fail#faegon will die there's zero chance blackfyres win ever#now jaime/cersei I do NOT think he knows. my brothers in christ i don't think this motherfucker knows who the valonqar is!!#same with tyrion i think that the author in GRRM wants to do a nasty corruption arc + kill him off but the person in him loves him too much#sansa i have no goddamn idea what's going to happen. we just don't know enough about the northern conspiracy to tell#w/ arya i think he has... ideas. i don't think she's going to sail off to Explore i am almost certain that the show doing that was a cover#because the actual idea he gave them was unsavory or nonviable for some reason. bc like.#why would arya leave bran and jon and sansa? the family she's just spent her whole life fighting to come back to and avenge?#this is suspicious this does not feel like arya this does not feel right#bran will not be king or if he is it'll be in a VERY different way not the dumbfuck 'let's vote' bullshit#i personally think bran is going to go full corruption arc and become possessed by the 3 eyed raven. but that could be a pipe dream#the thing is he's way too OP in the show so the books have to nerf him and i think GRRM is still trying to work out#a way to actually do that.#i don't think he told them what happened with littlefinger or sansa. i think sansa's story is vaguely similar#(stark restoration through the female line etc)#but the queen in the north shit is way too contrived frankly. and selfishly i hope she gets something different#being a monarch in ASOIAF is not a happy ending. we know this from the moment we meet robert baratheon in AGOT#and we learn exactly what GRRM thinks of the people who 'win' these endless wars of succession#and they are not heroes#they are not celebrated#and they are neither safe nor happy
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