#so when u read that tag u have to suffer the same fate as me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

neixins · 6 months ago

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[ID: tags reading: “#this this this #thank you for this post you explain it too well!! #everybody can have their opinion about what's happening! i trully believe that #pain does not make a life more or less valuable! #Kija jeaha and shinah are people (just like their ancestors). each of them is a person and their lives are intrinsically valuable #the problem is the pain they have had to go through in their lives #not the fact thay they're alive #i truly believe that it is not selfish for yona to choose for them to live #because... how can it be a generous act towards them to deny them their own existence? #it's true that it has been very unfair all that they have had to suffer for being the dragon warriors!! #but wouldn't it be even more unfair to take away their lives precisely because they are those 'dragon warriors'? #besides in the story we have seen how they have fought against their fate.... #jaeha for example!!! the story has been very clear about how valuable his freedom and escaping his fate as the green dragon is to him #it'd be very very cruel if the solution to this problem is to end up denying him that freedom completely #by taking away his very life without him even being able to say anything #i'm talking too much hehe but yes. all of them are people #i truly believe that it is not selfish to deny them their right to exist #aghh sorry for the english i'm smarter in spanish i swear;; #and yesss yona's choice makes sense with her character #and it's better for the story as a whole #i cannot wait for the next ch #!!! #yotd”. end ID.]

another great addition, thank u @verooquieremimir !!

i’m so glad u brought up jaeha bc i’d initially typed up the same thing and then ended up deleting it for the sake of brevity but i still think it’s so important. he’s a perfect example of why letting the dragon warriors live is the better choice (and by perfect i mean most clear; the same general idea can be applied to everyone else too)

putting the rest of my thoughts under the cut bc i’m a yapper and i don’t want to make my beloved non-akayonautuals have to scroll past all of that <3

like jaeha’s childhood was truly horrible, but he got away! he loves being alive despite the pain he had to go through, despite that trauma still being there (he may act flippantly about it but the fact that he brings it up at all is telling, and if u’ll permit me this brief comically-on-brand-for-me tangent, i think the ability to move on is part of what he’s referring to when he says that he considers gija to be stronger than him because as far as he—and we as readers—can tell, gija isn’t shackled by his trauma in the same way) and he respects yona immensely for valuing his and the other dragon warriors’ agency. how would denying him his existence and thus his ability to make his own choices be kinder?

(and like as a side note, it’s never directly stated whether the dragon warriors would cease to exist completely as people or not if yona had made a different choice but i have to assume so because like. without the dragon gods requiring vessels there would be no need for the villages to exist which then affects so many variables. (which is why this was narratively the only choice that made sense like if u introduce time travel this late into the story it has to come with a sense of inevitability like. this was always the only choice that could’ve been made. otherwise u just create too many problems.) also there’s still no guarantee that their lives would be better. and besides, again, regardless of how painful their lives were, making such a drastic change without their consent is still fucking horrifying!!!! like not to bring up a disability reading again but i can’t help but consider things through that lens…..just. they should be able to make their own choices)

like in that sense, i consider zeno’s actions to be not only selfish and poorly thought out but absolutely vile (in-universe; narratively i think it’s a delicious choice). like sure ultimately trapping the rest of the dragon warriors in the chalice is probably what’s kept them alive this long, but if that had been all he was doing then i wouldn’t keep bringing it up. he was going to kill them!!! without ever mentioning it or asking them what they want!!!!! and like ngl if i were jaeha i’d curb stomp him as soon as i got out of that stupid chalice.

and to add insult to injury, literally the last thing jaeha says (and luckily i’m a relentless optimist who believes that my special little guys will return because if those were his actual last words i’d simply have to catapult myself into the sun) is that he wants gija to live and protect yona and then zeno traps gija too….which isn’t even getting into the fact that gija likely didn’t fight back against zeno pulling him into the chalice because he trusted him only for zeno to turn around and be like “sike! murder-suicide attempt time!” (and sure gija says he doesn’t mind dying but he’s tenacious and stubborn and does anyone seriously think that he’d want to die when he still has the slightest opportunity to keep living like. the previous white dragons literally tell him that he’s done enough and can move on now and he’s like “sooo kind of u to say that but i’m not done”). and don’t even get me started on how sinha refused to lay a hand on zeno even when they had to pretend to be on opposite sides only for zeno to betray him like that….but yeah sure “zeno’s never done anything wrong ever” and whatever other bullshit fandom phrases i’ve seen thrown around. he betrayed them and denied them agency and i know they’ll end up forgiving him but i wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t. like does everything he’s gone through suddenly give him the right to act like nobody else has a say in the matter??? and i’m not a zeno hater by any means, i want him to be happy just like everyone else and i understand his anger, but i can’t get behind his actions the way so many other people apparently can. oh but the second a traumatized teenage girl makes a choice that has negative consequences (as opposed to the alternative which ALSO has negative consequences) and the plot doesn’t immediately stop in order to directly acknowledge that, suddenly there’s so many thinkpieces…… i simply have to roll my eyes

and someone could say “but this generation of dragon warriors is the exception. what about all the previous generations?” are we to believe that none of them ever got to experience even a moment of joy, of getting to express their agency, no matter in how small a way? they chose to keep living despite the pain and the unfairness of their situation, and how is taking that away from any of them just? (also the previous generation have all been varying degrees of abusive and yes, their behavior is a result of how they’ve been treated because they’re the dragon warriors but violently attacking a child is an active choice, not one that anyone in that situation would inherently make, and i think it’s weird that i’ve seen more people bring up how unfair yona’s choice is towards THEM than how unfair zeno’s choice is towards the actual main cast. it’s downright bizarre.)

hm. i apparently have an unpopular opinion about yona’s decision during her conversation with hiryuu…… like. obviously she’s motivated by the desire to save her friends—she loves them and cares about them deeply and is scared of losing them—and there’s some selfishness in that (on a more facetious note though, god forbid teenage girls do anything i guess…). but the interpretation of her decision as selfish to the point of cruelty and/or naïveté just doesn’t sit right with me. like there is no solution to the conundrum she was presented with that doesn’t involve tragedy. and i’m never, ever letting anyone forget that jaeha, gija, and sinha were never given a choice regarding zeno’s whole murder-suicide plan, and they don’t regret being alive, so wouldn’t changing the past and effectively erasing them from existence (when they already have no agency atm!!!!) be so much more cruel? wouldn’t discarding two millennia worth of lives, regardless of how painful they’d been, be so much more cruel? does a life lived not matter because there was suffering?

and yona values life, even when it hurts, so she was never gonna make a different choice, and i just don't think that that's extremely selfish or naïve of her; the dragon warriors are not just vessels for the gods, they're people, and they don't deserve to be erased because the gods don't care about the pain they cause, and she can't confront the gods in the dream realm, she has to do it in her present which can't exist if she changes it! (also on a purely narrative level, any other choice would've basically rendered 40+ volumes of the story pointless.) and besides, it's more interesting to focus on trying to make things better rather than rewriting the past, and she'll have to sacrifice something to save everyone (the part of her that's a reincarnation of hiryuu, obviously, and possibly something more) which will even things out anyway.

#sorry everyone i simply must YAP #i know zeno’s a lot of people’s fave but MY faves have been wronged and i won’t let anyone forget that #akayona #also thank u everyone who said i expressed myself well. looks like i’m beating the concussion allegations after all fhdsjdn

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earlgreydream · 4 years ago

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lover of mine.

| winter soldier!bucky barnes x reader | angst | fluff |

lover of mine.

/When I take a look at my life/And all of my crimes/You're the only thing that I think I got right//I watched the world fall from your eyes/All my regrets/And things you can't forget/Light them all up/Kiss them goodbye/

“You loved him once. You can love him again.”

“I never stopped loving him. That’s what you don’t understand.”

The fellow Avengers had watched the world fall from your eyes, the joy draining from you with every headline that involved Bucky. Not only had he changed, but you had too. You became completely enthralled with your missions, pouring every waking second into the Avengers. Because if you thought about anything else, you would break.

Steve begged you to take breaks, begged you to take time off. You insisted you were fine, never wanting to be left alone with your thoughts. You didn’t want to think about the newsreels of Bucky-- the winter soldier-- wielding machine guns.

You couldn’t bear to see the love of your life slaughtering people.

“I’m not picking up Parker from school... He’s in high school, he doesn’t need me to pick him up! He can take the subway! Or use his webs!” You snapped at Stark, who stared at you impatiently.

“You need to rest. This is how you’re filling your afternoon.” Stark was insistent, and you shook your head, grabbing the keys to a Tesla.

“Steve?”

“Go, Y/N.”

You sighed and went down to the garage, driving uptown to get the teenager from school. You parked outside of the high school, leaning against the hood of your car while you waited.

You never got used to the modernity. You were like Steve and Bucky. You’d been alive in the 40s, and frozen like they were. Luckily, you’d fallen to S.H.I.E.L.D. instead of Hydra. You’d managed to stay safe with Steve, and become an Avenger, not suffering Bucky’s fate.

Before the war, you and Bucky had been married. The memories in your mind of dancing in the kitchen, jazz bars, drive-ins, and reading the Hobbit when it came out, were all raw. Before he was deployed, there was a wedding.

You’d been surrounded by flowers and your friends, celebrating the love of your life. Steve was the best man. You’d left the ceremony with Bucky in his yellow vintage car, going to the coast for your honeymoon.

You remembered the beach house, and running in the sand with your young husband. It was perfect back then, before Hydra got their hands on him. He was loving and gentle, the kind of man who danced with you in the kitchen and brought you flowers.

You remembered when he’d gone off to war. You wore his dog tags, and hung a flag in your window. You’d kissed him goodbye, tears blinding you as you tried to focus on the silver eyes that were full of adoration and love. You remembered when Steve came back, and Bucky didn’t.

There were so many memories of crying in Steve’s arms, and falling asleep with him beside you. Even when you’d moved to Stark Tower with him, even after becoming an avenger decades later, you still slept beside him. He’d listened to you sob for Bucky a million times; Steve had witnessed a lifetime of your heartbreak.

You remembered waking up from being frozen, and finding out who James Buchanan Barnes had become.

“Y/N?!” Parker’s cheerful voice snapped you out of your thoughts as he came bounding down the stairs of the high school.

“Hey kiddo. Stark sent me to get you.” You stood up off the car and hugged him. He waved goodbye to his friends and got in the passenger seat. He immediately started chattering, and you welcomed it, appreciating the distraction from the deafening silence. That was why you were fond of Parker, he was easy to be around, and he was always happy to fill the silence.

“Let’s go to Starbucks!” He announced as the two of you drove back to the tower.

“Are you joking?”

“No! It’s on me.”

“It’s on Stark,” you smirked, and Parker broke out into a wide grin.

You and Peter walked into Stark Tower a half hour later, chattering and laughing. Parker was the only one of the Avengers who cheered you up, and he never made you feel bad for not wanting to talk about Bucky. He was bubbly and warm, and always made you laugh. You were giggling at a story from his school as you went upstairs to the penthouse, unaware of what you were walking1 into.

You nearly crashed into him, stopping dead in your tracks.

“Y/N!” The voice was so familiar, and yet, you thought you’d never hear it again.

You were suffocating. The air was ripped from your lungs, and you couldn’t breathe. It felt like the earth was swaying underneath you, everything shattered.

Steve ran to you as you passed out, and Parker caught you with a shout before you hit the floor. He knelt on the marble, your head in his lap, and Steve shouted for Banner, who came running to follow you to his medical lab.

“Stevie, what’s wrong with her?!” Bucky demanded, and everyone looked at him.

“It’s the shock of seeing you.” Steve admitted, and Bucky looked like he was going to break.

“I’m better now, I’m no longer the...” he couldn’t even say it, his eyes anxious and frightened.

Bucky had spent months trying to free himself of Hydra’s psychological bonds. He was free now, motivated by the thought of coming home to you. Bucky had waited years. Now, he was home, and the second he said your name and laid eyes on him, you’d panicked and blacked out.

Steve attempted to comfort him, and even Parker, the boy he didn’t know. They tried to explain to Bucky that you were just in shock, but his heart broke.

“I took care of her, Buck. She still loves you, she always has. Just give her some time. Seeing you like that...”

“I know,” Bucky breathed.

Everyone left Bucky alone with you, giving you privacy. He sat beside the bed where you were asleep, Banner assuring everyone that you were fine, you had only fainted.

He watched you. Bucky hadn’t watched you sleep like this since the 1940s.

He was suddenly back, leaning in the doorway, the soft light pouring behind him as he drank a cup of coffee, taking in the sight of his sweet wife sleeping before he went to work. You’d glow in the golden light of the morning, your face peaceful and serene. It was so intimate back then.

Bucky sat up as you stirred, familiar eyes slowly opening. You didn’t know where you were at first, your mind running through events. You’d picked Parker up from school, stopped for a snack, and came back to the tower. And seen your husband.

You sat up suddenly, and he put his arms out, one made of vibranium. His eyes were soft, full of love, not the empty steel you’d seen on the news. Your name fell from his lips, desperate and anxious.

You jerked away at first, startled by the reality of what was happening. You were frightened, alone in the room with your husband. You scrambled back against the headboard, trying to put distance between you and his outstretched hands.

You were about to scream when you realized he looked just as frightened as you. You slowly sank back against the headboard, slowing your breathing as you stared at him.

“James?”

“It’s me, doll. I’m home.”

You didn’t know how long the silence lasted, but it felt like hours. The two of you stared at each other, and when you finally decided he wasn’t going to hurt you, you gingerly moved toward him.

“I’m free from them. It’s just me, it’s not the winter soldier anymore,” Bucky’s voice was soft, and you blinked back tears.

“It can’t be you. You were gone.” Your voice trembled as you spoke.

“I’m back now. I came back for you. I’m never going to hurt you, or anyone else again.”

“James-”

“I’m not a killer anymore.”

The plea broke your heart, the shattered boy begging you to believe him, begging you to take him back. Tears slid down his cheeks, terrified of your reaction.

“James, I love you.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

Bucky felt like he’d waited a million years to say it, and the words spread through you, filling your empty soul.

You wanted to fall into his arms, to hold him close and feel him again. You wanted all of it to happen instantly, but that’s not how it was. You needed time, time to adjust, and time to trust him again before you returned to your husband fully.

You reached out to touch his arm, and he noticed the wedding ring wasn’t around your finger. His eyes flitted up to yours, and you pulled the chain from around your neck that hid beneath your shirt. It held his dog tags, and your wedding ring. Relief flooded Bucky, and you offered a the slightest hint of a smile.

“What happened?” You asked, cautiously running your fingers along the vibranium.

“I lost my arm when I fell from the train. Steve told you?”

“A bit... you fell, he didn’t know what happened after.”

“Can I touch you?” Bucky spoke gently, understanding your hesitation and being patient.

You nodded, and his hand slowly lifted to your face, fingers brushing over the curves of your skin. You laid your hand over his, kissing the inside of his wrist. He cried softly, a smile crossing his face as he felt you, promising it wasn’t a dream.

“Bucky, we need you for a meeting.” Stark leaned into the bedroom, hours later.

“Stark, now?”

“I’m sorry. Y/N will be here when you get back.”

“I’ll wait for you.” You promised, and he nodded, the words falling heavy between you.

Bucky followed Stark out, and you sat on the bed, processing the day. Bucky had quietly explained the Hydra brainwashing, about how he was held captive in his own mind. You believed him, but it would always be hard to shake those memories of him on the news.

“Hey, we didn’t mean to just drop this on you.” Steve came inside, sitting down on the mattress.

“You couldn’t have kept from me that my husband was suddenly free and home. Is he really, though? It is him? He won’t kill me in my sleep?” You asked, and Steve gave you a sad smile.

“It is. He’s traumatized, he won’t be the same as before the war. But it’s not the winter soldier, it’s Bucky.”

You knew it was true. You knew the man before you, his heart and his soul, and you were going to grow to know his mind again.

You were curled up in bed, Steve beside you on the other side of the large mattress.

“Stevie? Y/N?” you heard a soft voice from the doorway, and you sat up in the dark. You had trouble sleeping, and you were awake when he came in during the middle of the night.

“Bucky?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Come here,” you whispered, moving over in bed, closer to Steve, who was waking from the disturbance. You didn’t fear Bucky, especially not when he looked so frightened and upset.

You lifted the blanket, and Bucky got in on the other side of the bed. You pulled him to you, silently wrapping your arms around him. You felt Steve against your back, leaning over to place his hand on Bucky’s arm, smoothing over the skin slowly to comfort him.

“You’re okay now, it’s over, my love,” you whispered, settling between the warm bodies.

Your head rested on Bucky’s chest, and you realized how long you’d spent waiting for it. You felt his lips press a kiss to the top of your head, and Steve bury his face into the back of your neck, needing to be close.

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1kook · 4 years ago

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ZOOM CALL

⇢ meeting one

jeon jungkook x (f) reader

⇢ series masterlist

summary: In a sea of black screens and faceless names, there’s one smiley boy that beams back at you through the dimly lit screen of your laptop, a tiny Jeon Jungkook (he/him) tacked to the corner of his window. genre: fluff, slice of life, smut (tags tba) warnings: jk is a ditzy lil nerdy sweetheart, college crushes, social distancing -_-, use of the zoom app, 1kook Builds a Healthy Relationship (Version 2.0) ratings: M (18+) wc: 3.2k

notes: well. here we are. as always i have to thank common sense (coincidentally named rumu @kigurumu ) for reading this over and pointing out little details <3 after much deliberation, i have decided to post our beloved zoom jk (see origin story here) in the form of short ‘drabbles’ depicting diff zoom calls with this being The Beginning™️ so please... bare with me </3 ty to all the nice ppl who have been excited for this, luv u very much 🥺

There are times in human history where words captivate their audience; times when single words or phrases wrap around the listener, melt into their bones and radiate warmth from within. But rarely does one word manage such an impact, rarely is it as revered and as cherished as the word cancelled is to most college students.

Class is cancelled, group meetings are cancelled, the stupidly big semester final project was cancelled. You could cancel nearly anything, and in most cases, it would be beautiful. Cancelled meant more time to sleep in the morning, an afternoon free of pesky project partners, a pleasant reprieve from having to socialize with anyone. It was a glorious word with heavenly connotations that brought tears of joy to your eyes whenever you saw it appear in an email preview.

Except this one.

Spring Semester 2021: On-Campus Classes CANCELLED — Social Distance Measures as per State Regula…

Your last semester as a student in university… online? You couldn’t believe it. All these years of studying rigorously, cramming for exams, attaining a near perfect GPA— just to sit in your bedroom and stare at your computer screen for the last 15 weeks of classes? Had your friends not been there to mope with you, you’re certain a part of you would have gone on a rampage and cursed every bacteria known to mankind for doing this to you.

It was your last year, you whined in private (never in public; your friends had always considered you the mature one, the studious friend who kept everyone in order), yet here you were, setting up your desk for your last ever first day of classes with quite possibly the biggest pout on your face.

Zoom, your school had raved in an email a few weeks into the break, the desktop application that will keep us united in these trying times! As if, you huffed, giving the stupid application permission to connect to your computer’s camera and audio systems. What even was proper Zoom etiquette? Did you have to enter the meeting and greet every student cheerfully? You had always said hi to your classmates before, but something about saying it over a computer mic felt awkward.

The feeling doubled when you finally entered the meeting, only to be met with a sea of black screens save for your professor, who seemed to be clicking around his computer in a rather confused fashion. This was going to suck, you thought bitterly.

You had entered the room ten minutes earlier because, well, you always showed up to class a few minutes earlier than the scheduled meeting time. But was there any point to doing that here? Usually, the time before class was spent making small talk with said classmates, discussing the readings or the assignments, talking mindlessly about whatever came to mind. But something in your gut said it would be weird to do that now.

So you sit in silence for the next ten minutes, nervously tapping your pen against your desk as you wait for the professor to launch into whatever introductory monologue he had planned. You toy with your phone, scrolling through your twitter feed only to see a brigade of tweets from students all over the nation suffering the same fate as you. It was a trending topic.

Two minutes before the class starts, you hear the tell-tale ping of someone entering the meeting. You wave it off just like you have your other 41 classmates thus far, but then there’s the clearing of a throat, and a sweet, “good morning” filtering through your speakers. Lifting your head from the hunched over position you had assumed while glancing at your phone, you’re startled by the sudden handsome face that appears before you.

In a sea of black screens and faceless names, there’s one smiley boy that beams back at you through the dimly lit screen of your laptop, a tiny Jeon Jungkook (he/him) tacked to the corner of his window.

He’s nothing short of a dreamboat, soft and doughy cheeks that catch the hue of the screen light, highlighting his cheekbones in a faint blue color. Imploring doe eyes blinking widely at the screen as he clicks around, narrating his confusion in a low mumble (mic still on, how cute). Dark hair— was it brown? black? the pixelated screen made it hard to tell —messily pushed away from his face.

And his voice, oh his voice. It matches his gentle appearance perfectly. A soft snort. “Am I the only one here?” he says, thin lips pulled to the side in a bashful grin.

The professor laughs with him. “No, but you are the only one with your camera on,” he responds.

You’re not sure if it’s the professor’s teasing jab at literally everyone else or the need to support the cutie who smiles softly at screen, but suddenly, a handful of windows come to life. Your classmates fill up the screen, dressed in an array of styles with bedrooms (and, on the rare occasion, dorm rooms) to match. You nibble at your bottom lip, finger hovering over the button that will expose your appearance to the rest of your classmates

Eventually, the wordless peer pressure, the need to be a good student, and the supportive face of Jeon Jungkook (he/him) have you inhaling sharply before dutifully clicking the camera on. Your face appears on screen, nearly lost in the now overwhelming sea of faces. You’re one of the last ones to turn your camera on, both pages of your zoom meeting participant windows filled with the contrasting images of your classmates joining from their bedrooms. The professor claps in delight, and finally dives into the mandatory first day of classes spiel.

Syllabuses, group work, asynchronous lectures. You’ve heard these words all before, have practically memorized this class’s syllabus like the back of your hand. The pros of being an overachiever. The cons are, however, that you think every question your classmates ask is stupid. Read the syllabus, you want to scream. But it’s the first day of class. You don’t even know who your assigned study group partners (as mentioned in the syllabus) are and you certainly don’t want them to dislike you so soon. They can do that after the third meeting, but not today.

You’re not entirely surprised when your attention drifts away from the professor and the endless sea of stupid questions he’s left to answer. Even when you realize you’ve stopped paying attention, you don’t bother forcing yourself to tune back in. No, instead your focus drifts across the windows of faces.

Some of your classmates are as bored as you, glaring at the screen with disinterest, or glancing off to the side probably at their phones. So you start looking at their rooms, analyzing their decorations and posters as if you’re a professional critic on some house design show.

Jeon Jungkook (he/him) is in a rather plain dorm room. Plain light gray walls— or maybe it’s white —free of decoration. He’s sitting at the provided desk, just like you. The only reason you focus on that is because there’s a multitude of your classmates lazily sprawled across their beds, slumped over a couch. Hardly anyone is sitting at attention like you. Well, except for Jeon Jungkook (he/him). He’s practically exposing the entirety of his living accommodation with the way his camera is set up.

Above eye level, reaching just below his chest, with the room all laid out before you. A neat twin bed, sheets meticulously made. It almost looks like the decorative set at a furniture store with the way the comforter and variety of pillows are placed. He doesn’t seem to be in the crappy dorms you remember, which leaves you wondering where exactly he’s been assigned. You know certain sports clubs get fancier dormitories. Anyway, there’s a door off the side of the bed, a black guitar standing in the corner just behind it. You wonder what’s behind the camera, if maybe his desk is as organized as the rest of his room. Maybe his closet is his weakness, you muse, imagining poor Jeon Jungkook (he/him) with a tornado of a closet. But the thought doesn’t make that much sense, so you discard it quickly.

Anyway, his dorm room. It’s neat and orderly, makes you tilt your head curiously as he swivels from side to side before you. As for himself, he’s dressed in a plain white sweater, hoodie strings perfectly even. His hair has long since fallen over his forehead, but he’s pushed it over this time in a fluffy side part. He was adorably soft.

He’s paying attention to the professor like he genuinely treasures every word that comes off his tongue, nodding along understandingly. He’s even got a pencil in hand, leaning forward every few seconds to scribble something down hurriedly. Not like this is all on the syllabus or anything, you think.

But as soon as the thought crosses your mind, it’s dispelled just as fast. He’s only trying to be a good student, you scold yourself, feeling oddly mean for wanting to make fun of this sweet boy. Especially when he raises his hand a second later and asks the first good question of the day. Something about the grading scale for group projects and how much is determined by the group members themselves. You’re not too sure, the words get a little fuzzy when he starts speaking and his pink lips pull down into an endearing pout.

A couple minutes later and your professor finally wraps up the questions, telling everyone to email him if any other questions arise throughout the semester. Just as you’re sighing in relief, he utters those dreaded words: “Ice-breakers!” he exclaims, and the whole class grimaces, much to his amusement. He says something about feeling the excitement through the screen, but then changes gears. “Since it’s a little hard to talk to your neighbor, I’m going to test out the Breakout Rooms and see how that works, okay guys?”

You frown. Breakout Rooms? What on earth was that? Like most of your classmates, this is pretty much your first rodeo with the Zoom application. He was sending you all into small groups, where? The answer presents itself a few seconds later, a message box appearing on your screen.

The host is inviting you to join a Breakout Room: Group 4

Your professor is still chattering in the background when you nervously accept the invitation, his voice suddenly cut off as your computer jumps to a new loading screen. It takes a while before you’re suddenly dumped into a new room. And then you’re staring at your own face, blown up on your own screen in a rather uncomfortable way. Jeez, did you really look like this?

As soon as you get to picking at your appearance, your mirrored reflection jumps to the side, once, then twice more to fit the three new guests in your room. Silence fills your bedroom as you and your classmates all stare at each other nervously for a couple seconds, unsure of what to say. This was, after all, your first meeting.

Just as you’ve gathered all your courage to click your microphone on, the screen jumps around once more and suddenly Jeon Jungkook (he/him) is in your Breakout Room. Immediately, his surprised face melts into the most reassuring grin you’ve ever seen, and he’s practically jumping forward to turn his mic on.

“Good morning, everyone,” he says, smooth and low. It’s like the awkward tension melts away under the pressure of his pretty smile, your classmates responding back with polite hellos and good mornings to him. You barely get yours in before Jeon Jungkook (he/him) starts talking again. “So… how are you guys?”

His words, sweet and caring as they are, send the five of you into a rather mindless conversation. Talking about nothing really, just whatever comes to mind about the class, about the semester, about the remote learning. Then Jungkook— “just Jungkook is fine!” he tells the other four of you with that same too pure look on his face after someone refers to him by his whole name —starts talking about some movie he had seen on Netflix the other day, something his friend recommended to him. Truthfully, you have zero interest in the type of plot he is describing, and you can tell some of the other people in your group don’t either. But he’s absorbed in his storytelling, features lit up as he details every last plot point of the film like his life depends on it. There’s a wordless agreement to let him ramble on.

By the time Jungkook has finished his novella recapture of whatever movie he was talking about, a green message bubble appears at the top of your screen. It’s a message from your professor, who is telling you the small group meeting will end in a few more minutes.

“Aw, that sucks,” Jungkook laughs, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly. And then, “oh! We haven’t answered our icebreaker question yet!”

Ah, yes. The reason for this small group was to get to know each other, not for Jungkook to recount an entire two hour movie for you all. “Oh, right,” you agree, probably the first words you’ve said in the past five minutes. You navigate to the chat box, where your professor had hastily dumped the question before sending you all off. “What’s one thing you miss most about being on campus?” you read aloud, glancing back at the screen.

Your group mates are all in various states of blissful comfort, the gaps of their nervousness smoothed over by Jungkook’s bubbly personality, and the hesitation they’d shown at the beginning is practically gone. Someone steps forward and says something about the campus dining hall. Jungkook laughs, loud and airy, claps his hands all cute too. Someone else says the library because it was a good place to study. There’s a lull and you jump in quickly. “I think I’ll miss the couches by the gym in the student center the most,” you confess, though you doubt anyone knows which ones you mean. They were a set of brightly colored couches tucked into a cranny behind the Starbucks just outside the campus gym, avidly avoided by the gym rats who were determined to ignore the sugary drinks and snacks.

Apparently, the hiding spot isn’t as secretive as you thought. “Oh, the ones by the Starbucks?” Jungkook exclaims, excitedly looking at his screen. You have this fluttery feeling that he’s looking at you for the first time. You nod, and he quite positively beams. “I love those!”

“Yeah, I spend a lot of time there,” you say, though it’s a little stilted because you’re not exactly sure how you’re supposed to react to Jungkook’s enthusiasm. Though his outgoing personality cloaks you in comfort, his pretty smile has your heartbeat acting a little funny.

Jungkook’s got these huge eyes, blinking owlishly at you. “Really? So do I!” And then you both seem to have the same realization. His head tilts to the side cutely, an amused smile on his face, “I’ve never seen you there.”

“I’ve never seen you there,” you shoot back, a little snarkier than necessary, but Jungkook doesn’t seem to notice. His smile turns goofy.

“Woah,” he says in a rather dreamy tone, “isn’t that so cool? We spent so much time in the same place, but never crossed paths before,” he babbles. He’s stopped looking at his computer, leaning back in a sort of dazed manner with this sparkly look to his eyes, much to everyone’s amusement. Except yours, because frankly, it sounds a little bit like he’s describing— “fate!” he says suddenly, like it’s truly an aha! moment. He pauses, taps his finger against his chin. “Or anti-fate? I’m not sure. But it’s like— we could’ve met so many times before and we didn’t.” Doe eyes return to the screen, flickering around until they presumably land on you again. “What do you think, __?”

And he’s just so cute, makes the rigid shield around your chest soften for the slightest moment as you nod meekly. “Uhh, yeah. Fate,” you agree, and then get to hear him laugh and giggle for about three seconds before you’re suddenly thrown back into the larger Zoom meeting.

Weirdly flustered, you hurriedly click your microphone back off, and nearly contemplate the camera too. But then the professor is asking you all to share what you talked about and you’re resigning yourself to a few more minutes of screen time while the class wraps up. By the looks of it, not everyone had as an enjoyable time as you did. Part of you is thankful you didn’t get stuck in an awkward small group. The other part recognizes wholeheartedly that it’s all thanks to one smiley boy at the bottom of your screen.

“And group 4?” the professor asks, and you blink yourself back into attention. Before you can unmute yourself and answer for your group, Jungkook is beating you to it.

“We talked about a lot of things,” Jungkook answers cheerfully. From your view, you get a front row seat to the sheer power of Jungkook’s magnetic personality, watching as all your listless classmates suddenly snap back from their daydreams to zero in on whatever Jungkook is saying. He fills in the professor about what you talked about, from the movies to the couches, and you feel weirdly mushy when his eyes flicker across the screen before settling with a soft smile.

He can’t possibly be looking at me, you tell yourself. Your hand jerks forward to turn the camera off, but in your haste, end up knocking down the water bottle on your desk. You scramble to straighten it, thanking the universe for the fact you actually remembered to screw on the cap. You glance back at the screen, and nearly die when you catch sight of a giggly Jungkook, smile hidden behind an adorable sweater paw as he laughs at something on screen. Oh no, was he looking at me? you panic.

“Alright, everyone,” your professor says in that “I’m about to wrap this class up” voice. Too close to the screen, voice a little too loud. “Good meeting today, I’ll see you all again on Wednesday. Stay safe.”

“Bye!” Jungkook sings sweetly, and everyone else follows as they all bid adieu to the professor. Still a little frazzled from the possibility that Jungkook may have watched you flail around like a total loser, you take a second longer to turn your mic on. Your classmates quickly leave the meeting, leaving only a few stragglers until the very end.

Surprisingly, Jungkook is here too, brown eyes focused on the screen. You unmute yourself. “Um,” you stammer, eyes unwillingly flickering over to Jungkook who smiles at the sound of your voice. “Goodbye. Thank you,” you rush out, and then quickly leave the meeting as well.

With the meeting over, you’re left staring at the home page of the Zoom app, heart beating a little too fast to be normal. Your face feels warm, and your fingers tremble from some unfamiliar, giddy feeling in your chest. You exhale slowly, hand coming up to rub at your chin as if that will somehow explain the weird excitement from your Zoom meeting. Maybe it was just adrenaline, or nervousness, you try to convince yourself. After all, the first day of classes is always nerve-wracking.

Except when you navigate to your class page and begin to mindlessly scroll through the class roster, there’s a weird stutter to your heartbeat when you catch sight of that Jeon Jungkook (he/him) that appears halfway down the list.

#bangtanhq #networkbangtan #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook fic #jjk smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jjk♡#jjk fic #bts smut #bts fic #mine

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years ago

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mtmte liveblog issue 9

back at it again, and its time for the shadowplay arc, HELL yeah

oh I'm so excited i love this arc lets DO this

oooh its nightbeat and quark!! way before they become relevant, which is so cool

‘one of those recepticon fanatics’ lmao imagine if they were...the recepticons. just doesn't have the same ring to it

god i fucking love all the politics of mtmte. i love how they’re talking about the senate here before we really get to See how bad they were (we heard a bit about it from whirl a few issues ago, and now here)

love how nightbeat is pretty much agreeing with the decepticon ideology here, even if its clear that he isn't Actually a decepticon - it just drives home the fact that, in this story, The Decepticons Were Right About A Lot Of That Stuff (or at least, they had a reason other than ‘destruction’ for rebelling).

AND THEN THERES RUNG!!!!!!! WITH HIS MODEL OF THE LOST LIGHT....god i fuckgin LOVE the continuity in this story bc the first time reading this ur like oh ok rung is old yea makes sense...but then later all the time travel stuff happens and then its like OHHHHH

damn poor rung nightbeat can rlly tell he's lonely just by looking at him vbhjdkdfhbjsjkdf geez. also nightbeat that's ur mystery stick bf from the future js!!

quarks extreme POV on all of the stuff is so interesting, and makes so much sense bc of Course he would think that as a non-combatant scientist who, due to his functional value in current society, wouldn't really benefit much from a revolution - in fact, he’d probably lose a lot. and that’s the sort of thing where you’re like, ok well think about everyone else dude, have some perspective - but at the same time, quark did suffer a pretty terrible fate, so his fears weren't entirely unfounded...augh, its so fascinating...im sorry I'm not gonna shut up about space robot politics this Entire time

HOW did nobody notice that dead body before now

ratchet spray-painting the hands he stole from pharma to match his own paintjob is like...kinda gruesome if you think about it hvbhsjkdfbkjdf

i love rewind sooo much oh my god

he rlly stashed rung’s comatose body in a wheelchair behind the bar hbkjdhfbshjkdf rewind

rewind and chromedome’s tag-team explanation....ough hhhhh THEM

wait a sec, rewind, you have medical records in your database? that is, at least according to regular medical laws, very illegal lmao. my favorite long-running theme in mtmte: the fact that hipaa and osha laws on cybertron are either basically nonexistent, or just universally disregarded

what the actual fuck is up w/cybertronian time units. that shit is wack as hell

ooh i love how chromedome looks different in the flashback - no shoulder tires! - that's a cool detail

how come prowl just said ‘minute,’ rewind was busting it up w/all the wack ass fantasy time units just a second ago. geez

also goddd i love the scenery of pre-war cybertron, its SUCH a cool setting like, visually and aesthetically and politically

like, i adore details like the sign in the bg that says ‘everyone’s shape serves a purpose.’ really adds to the ‘society on the precipice of civil war currently controlled by an increasingly-desperate faction who are doling out propaganda like crazy in an attempt to maintain their image and control over the populace’ vibe

good ole murder mystery setup. love it!

pre-war prowl is such an interesting character. actually prowl in general is such an interesting character...I kinda wrote him off during my first read of mtmte (and even a little during my second readthru) as just this dude who’s an asshole (espec bc my prev tf experience involved watching tfa as a kid, and this prowl is very different from tfa prowl lol)...but prowl is SUCH a multi-faceted and interesting character, even in the relatively little we see of him in mtmte

plus it was interesting to learn later that prowl was one of the characters that jro wanted for mtmte and didn't get, and MAN i wish he got prowl bc I would've loved to see what jro would've done w/prowl on the lost light, that would've been amazing. like, just imagine the arc he would have...I have no idea what that arc would BE, but I know it would be awesome. plus I’d be really interested to see how prowl would factor in, relationships-wise, amongst the crew of the lost light. so much potential!

anyways. I'm in a very talky mood tonight it seems. its currently 4 am so that kinda explains it. ok, moving on!

chromedome and prowl bantering....in their own morbid forensic-cop way...

skids bvhjdbsfjasf. speaking what we’re all thinking: is prowl gonna keep showing up in mtmte despite not technically being part of the cast??

swerves drawing of prowl lmaoooo

AND THEN REWIND IN SOME OF MY FAVORITE MTMTE PANELS....fuckgin cracks me up every time god. rewind was rlly about to flip their entire ass table just to demonstrate that prowl is a serial table-flipper...and then he cant even make the table budge and he just stares at his hands like ‘how could you betray me like this’ hvbajkhhsfdhksdf PEAK hilarity

drift hvbshfdjbasdfj his forcibly cheery expression even tho he’s being harassed by rodimus, who is a big whiny toddler w/drift lmao

rodimus is the type of guy who, upon drift not replying to one of his texts, would post a whole twitter thread being all like ‘these days u cant trust any1 to hav ur back...u think u kno someone and then they just ghost you...(1/14)’

again, rewind, HOW and WHY do you just Have medical reports, oh my god, somebody please call a hipaa agent I’m scared,

ratchet interrupting the story to give a quick medical PSA....that's Such an on-brand thing for Me to do that I feel like jro is assigning me ratchet kin as I read this

also, hey, its sonic and boom, those two decepticons from delphi! nice little continuity there

AND HERES ORION PAX SUPER COP

can’t believe idw made my dad optimus prime into a cop. smh. shouldn't be that shocked tho, I feel like half the idw characters are cops

orion rlly hit them w/the omae wa mo shinderu arrest strat

orion: I cant believe you're beating this guy up. anyways, now I'm gonna beat YOU up,

when ratchet puts his hand over drifts mouth and then gets spray paint on drifts face bhjdfsvsdjhfgbjdskf

pre-war ratchet and drift ;_; ratchet’s little inspirational speech...the fact that he tells drift that he’s special...the fact that drift remembered all of this even after 4 million+ yrs...it gets me bro it GETS me

ALSO the layers in the fact that drift then goes on to become a well-known murderous decepticon...so this little scene of him and ratchet in the past gives a lot of context to ratchet’s general attitude towards drift - ratchet clearly feels at least somewhat responsible for all the blood on drift’s hands, since he saved drift’s life way back in the day

the whole relinquishment clinic thing is such cool worldbuilding, bc of course that's the kind of thing that would develop in a society of robot aliens who are only allowed to work within the rigid confines of their alt mode

I love the whole matrix thing bc its kinda like being the pope or st but also you have a ton of political sway, so its a super important position, so of Course the corrupt senate would want full control over that power, and would assassinate the current prime to try to get their own guy in

god vhbhjsdkbgshjdf rodimus is such a dick lmao poor drift

HHHHH I love that the cybertronian version of an autopsy is taking the dudes body apart into the smallest components and laying them all out. that's so fucking cool

hmmmm chromedome maybe you should Not be interested in mnemology, how about that,

oh god. time to start being sad about op and senator shockwave. oh god

senator shockwave more like senator sexy

also the first time I read this I thought I had just missed his name and like halfway thru the story I went back and scoured the pages looking for it hbvhsjdfbshgfdsbj then I was like oh ok so we’re maybe supposed to just know who this guy is from another comic? but NOPE it was very deliberate and I only realized very close to the end that they were setting up some sort of reveal

its funny bc normally I'm not a huge fan of stories where politics play a huge role but I fuckgin love it here, the politics and worldbuilding is all so interesting and also balanced out with a healthy dose of cool sci-fi hijinks, so

lmao there's chromedome being obsessed w/people making the ‘pfft’ sound

also wow yet more hindsight, maybe you Shouldn’t be so interested in the Institute, chromedome,

OHHHH shit I forgot abt the red alert stuff happening at the same time as this :( :( :(

AUGHHH what a fucked up situation. god

oooof i gotta continue now!! what a solid issue, I love the shadowplay arc

#lj rereads mtmte

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deathvsthemaiden · 5 years ago

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10 Favorite Characters Meme, tagged by @lissar (ty!) to list 10 of my favorite fictional characters and tag 10 ppl.

1. Jane “not your English Celine Varens�� “Provoking puppet” “little bungler” “mocking changeling” “mustard seed” “Janet” Eyre of Jane Eyre I cant put it in words I just love her 🐦 <3

2. Moira Rose from Schitt’s Creek. I wanna be HER when I grow up 🤩 (I’m kidding) I love her hyperbolic speech (it reminds me of how I text) and her tendency to wordlessly scREAM her feelings no shame no consequences. Her confidence is one of the best parts of the show ansbdjsnns 🌹

3. “Yes indeed, a mythological murder case...Obviously I’d appear!” (FGO)

Sherlock Holmes! 🔍💙🔎 gonna cheat and sandwich 3 separate versions of the same dude into one bullet point because they’re all endearing jokers whom I love for basically all the same reasons. The Fate Grand Order, original (Arthur Conan Doyle) and Granada editions of Sherlock Holmes are my all time favorites I’ve seen so far. Grand Order took him by the collar from 221B and quietly placed him in a universe where All Myth Is Real and was like “what if the mystery this time is to find out who ended all of humanity?” LOVE that for him. ACD canon is just cozy and fun and the fact that Doyle grew sick of Holmes just makes the books even better to me 🤭 And Brett’s passion for Holmes and accuracy are obvious while watching Granada. And it definitely doesn’t hurt that FGO seems to have taken inspiration from the show for their own Holmes.

4. “Did I hate him then? Indeed, I believe so. A love like that can grow to be nine-tenths hatred and still call itself love.”

Orual from Till We Have Faces. priorities! She has them. Star of one of my all time favorite Greek myth retellings ever. I’ll admit I don’t remember the book perfectly well but I understood her anger so well back when I was reading the book and I remember rooting for her the whole time.

5. Albert Honig the mc of Telling the Bees by Peggy Hesketh. I have a fondness for kindly old men narrators and bees. And murder mysteries. Guess what this book has? 🐝🍯🔪

6. Inho Baek of Cheese In The Trap. Long suffering piano-prodigy-delinquent-man I knowwww your story is done being translated I’m just Afraid To Look. Soon! I will revisit you soon...in the meantime stay safe and protect your hands sweet prince 😬🎹🧀

7. Adamant “this is a kind child” “crying is a defect” “I love you all” Sensei of Houseki no Kuni (he’s the strongest bc he’s LOVE INCARNATE!!) 💎🥺♟💖 Despite all common sense I maintain the hope that he will never bite the dust (unintentional and morbid pun if u know anything abt Hnk)

8. Evi Kholin from The Stormlight Archive. miss I cant think too hard about you without tearing up I have so many spoilerific teary thoughts to share but for the sake of brevity I’ll just say: everything that happened to her hit too close to home and was also just. Massively unfair. I wouldn’t change it though bc it hurts so good and had appropriate levels of nuance and complexity and whatnot. The mysteries surrounding her were worth waiting till Oathbringer (Bk #3) for. I do seriously wish jokes weren’t the thing that made up 90% of her tag though :/ maybe I’ll take pains to fix that myself one day. Perhaps. 🤕

9. Ellie Miller from Broadchurch! Another one of many altruistic fictional detectives I love.

10. Eton the Mad Prince 👑 and would be canonical older brother of Raoden had Brandon Sanderson not scrapped him from Elantris altogether. I get why he did but the deleted scenes on his website....hysterical. He would have easily made it into my top 5 favorite cosmere characters of all time if he’d made it into a published work. I love (fictional) monarchs of dubious (in)sanity and the best part is how in the deleted scenes I linked there’s no one we see him messing with more than Hrathen who, being canon, really /is/ in my top 5 favorite cosmere characters of all time. Those deleted scenes are probably safe to read if you’ve never read Elantris and intend to btw, proceed with caution.

Tagging: @pinkafropuffs @kashilascorner @kandraswithhats @makruh @iwaizuml @fruit6at @sjouno @ayuumaku @elfenana @xviicprc @howaboutswords and anyone else who wants to do this should! Tag me if you do 📚

#tagged in #yes ik thats 11 ppl but :P

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spectraspecs-writes · 5 years ago

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Kashyyyk - Chapter 68

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 67. Chapter 69.

@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma thank u for reading u get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank u for support u get a tag.

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The Wookiee leads us through the village, past a number of other Wookiees. All of whom look at Zaalbar with shame. I can tell Zaalbar hates it, hates being looked at like this. He takes us through to a very large structure with a gong in front of it, and ushers us into the building. A Wookiee with half of a sword stands at the back wall, flanked by Czerka. And some other stuff like fruit, but it’s the Czerka people who stand out. “Step forward and address the mighty and wise Chuundar, outsider,” the Wookiee says, “I don't often allow visitors of your kind.”

Zaalbar takes point. “You are flanked by Czerka slavers!” he says, outraged, “Are they not outsiders? Or have you sold all of Kashyyyk to them?!”

Chuundar smirks, exuding an infuriating superiority. “Ah, brother Zaalbar,” he says, “You've been exiled a long time. You shouldn't speak in that tone. Things are different now. You are a mad-claw without honor. You have no voice among your own people. I, on the other hand, am Chieftain.”

“If you’ve made deals with the slavers,” I chime in, “the truth will get out eventually.”

Chuundar just gives a little laugh, which I hate. “You may talk,” he says, “but no one will believe you. I've had a long time to guide what my people think. They trust me, the mighty Chuundar. Even with my brother insane and father enslaved, I rose to protect my people despite it all.”

Zaalbar balks a bit. “Father was enslaved? ‘Mighty Chuundar?’ What are you talking about?” he protests in disbelief, “You were the runt!”

Now Chuundar balks. “I am no runt!” he objects. But then he gathers back his composure and clears his throat. “Like I said, Zaalbar, a lot has changed in your years away. We will discuss this soon enough.”

“What do you want?” I ask, “Why drag us here?”

“I haven't killed Zaalbar because he is my brother and I hoped he and I could come to an agreement,” Chuundar says, “You are irrelevant. I may be able to put you to use on a menial task. Zaalbar will have to stay here, of course.”

Great. Once again, the voice of Czerka gives me a task against the natives. Granted this time it’s one of the natives acting as the voice of Czerka, but he’s acting against the natives anyway by working with Czerka. It’s Tatooine all over again. This better not happen on Korriban or Manaan. I sigh. “So what’s the task?” I ask.

“A simple thing,” Chuundar says, “Another Wookiee has suffered the same fate as Zaalbar, gone mad and been exiled.” Well, that seems to be a matter of opinion, madness. “He now lurks the Shadowlands. More importantly, he's pestering my Czerka allies during their Shadowland expeditions. It is not good for business.” Good. “I'd leave the troublemaker down there but he has proven too good at surviving. He has managed to linger a number of years, cowering in his madness and shame. You are expendable. You will remove him.”

“This is crazy!” Mission objects, “You two are brothers! And you’re working with slavers! You’ve sold your own people into slavery! What happened between you and Big Z?”

Chuundar gives a little laugh. “Zaalbar didn't tell you? He took offense to my trading a few of our people for favors and weapons.” Chuundar shrugs. “I didn't understand his objection. Imagine the destruction if Czerka Corporation had come in with blasters firing. I saved many lives. Of course, I also gained weapons, and arranged for certain rivals to be taken. I protected my allies, and my power grew.”

“So that’s why these Wookiees haven’t turned on you,” Carth says.

“Each has come to understand the benefit of working with the enemy. Unlike your exiled companion.” Chuundar shakes his head. “Young Zaalbar had no foresight. He couldn't control his outrage. He attacked me with his claws and damned himself doing it.” Chuundar smirks. “A few careful stories and everyone called him mad-claw. Even father Freyyr. I easily had him exiled.”

“Okay, Chuundar,” I say, “I’ll do this task of yours, but I need Zaalbar with me as a guide.”

Chuundar shakes his head. “No, you won't need him to find your way. Over the years I have had my people trained to understand galactic Basic.” He laughs a little. “I tell them it's to better understand the enemy. They think it will make the Czerka easier to fight. Actually it makes them easier to obey. Remember, you can't beat me here. No one would dare oppose me to join an outsider or an exile.”

“You are wrong, brother,” Zaalbar says, “Someone would.”

“Right, Zaalbar!” Mission says, “All of us!”

“No, outsider,” Chuundar, says, “Zaalbar is referring to Freyyr, our father.” He looks at Zaalbar. “Why, Zaalbar? He ordered you exiled when you attacked me. He went as mad as you when he finally discovered the slavers. He dared challenge them alone and has not been seen since. That was years ago. Let him go, Zaalbar. I rule now. I'll take the Wookiees forward, but there are prices to pay.”

“I’ll be back, Zaalbar,” I say, “We’ll get you out of here.”

“No more words, outsider,” Chuundar says, “I've given my orders. I can't hold you here, but Zaalbar will stay until you kill the mad-claw in the Shadowlands.” He gestures to one of the other Wookiees, who leaves. “The guards will let you pass now. Leave the village through the northwest and follow the platform to the south and then east. You'll eventually see where Gorwooken waits for you. He'll lower you to the forest floor. Go.”

When we’re outside, Carth shakes his head and sighs. “I don’t like leaving someone behind, but I guess we don’t have a choice.”

I have to think for a minute. We start walking back to the Great Walkway. The Shadowlands sound like a pretty dangerous place. And if this Wookiee is dangerous, I’m going to need help subduing him. Maybe not killing if I don’t have to, but I need someone who can help me fight a Wookiee. And I love them both, but Mission and Carth are not the people to do that. Mission’s got spunk and she’s a spitfire, but she’s just fifteen and if she gets hurt I’d never forgive myself. And Carth is an amazing shot and he’s quick on his feet, but he’s my Bunny Man and he is too soft to face a Wookiee who may or may not be as crazy as Chuundar says. Sometimes you need brute strength. I need a Mandalorian. I need Canderous. As for a melee, the practical side of me wants to bring Juhani. But the romantic in me says Bastila is the way to go. After all, Canderous thinks she’s attractive, Bastila thinks he’s attractive. Life goes on, and I really think those two would be good for each other. Canderous needs to be softened a bit, and Bastila needs to see that love isn’t the path to hell.

By the time I’ve thought all this out, we’re back on the Great Walkway halfway between the basket to the Shadowlands and the Czerka dock. I stop, letting my train of thought finish itself.

“Rena?” Carth asks, “Something up?”

I pause. “Yeah, I think we should head back to the ship really quick. Before heading down to the Shadowlands, I think I want to bring Canderous and Bastila.”

“Are you trying to get them to admit their love for each other?” Mission asks. I guess she wants to get her mind off Zaalbar.

“Well, yes, but!” I say, “I have no idea what I’ll run into down there other than a supposedly crazed Wookiee. Do either of you think you could match the strength of a Wookiee?”

“I know I can’t,” Mission says with certainty.

“Neither can I,” Carth admits, “But the Mandalorian could certainly give him a run for his money.”

“My thoughts exactly,” I say, “And yes, Bastila because I’m a hopeless romantic.”

“You seem very sure of your ability to overcome Bastila’s Jedi inhibitions,” Carth says, smiling.

“She already told me she thinks he’s attractive, so at this point it’s just --”

“SHE WHAT!” Mission shrieks, “When did she do that?”

Oh damn. “On Tatooine,” I say, “She told me in confidence, though, keep it to yourself.” Really hope I haven’t betrayed Bastila’s trust too much.

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franeridart · 7 years ago

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are you going to draw more of that lovely erasermic? :o

Unless I find reasons to stop shipping them in the near future, then sure~ as I said, I really like that ship

Anon said:i love it when you draw chris and josh, you should do it more!! Your oc's are great!!

THANK YOU! I’m really really happy to hear you like them! I draw them just as much as I wish to, tho haha

Anon said:THANK YOU FOR BLESSING US WITH MORE CHRIS!!

Anon said:Honestly I love your ocs so much! I like seeing your fanart because you really flesh out characters we don't get enough development of, but I really love seeing your ocs. I can tell you love them and enjoy drawing them just by looking at it, and that makes me love them even more! You're a wonderful artist!

SOB thank you!!!!! holy heck!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;O; I can’t believe how much love my kids get hahaha I’m so so grateful aaahhhh!!!!

Anon said:Okay, so I was just going to tell you how great your comic is (and it is), but I just read your last ask to that anon, and I'm sorry, but deku didn't do nothing to gain his quirk? Like, what? He risked his life and almost killed himself trying to say his exfriend/then bully? That isn't just "being nice"? He didn't know all Might would save him? He risked his life even though he was powerless just to help another person? He earned the quirk, all Might said so in the second episode, like, what?

Since you don’t seem to want a polite and civil exchange of opinions on this, and are actually being incredibly rude here (whether you meant for it or not, I don’t know) I hope you won’t mind me keeping this as short as I can. All Might worked in the beginning of the bnha manga as a textbook definition of a deus ex machina, came around, solved an otherwise unsolvable plot point out of the blue bending the laws that had just been established for that universe, and Deku literally (literally) didn’t have to go through any conscious trial, soul-search or any other self-aware journey with the intention of fixing his own problem. All he did was to be heroic and to be quirkless, which for him are circumstances since those are innate traits of his character. And the only singular thing he has is that he’s quirkless, his heroic personality is shared by all of UA (Mina acted in the exact same way in Kirishima’s backstory as he did to save Bakugou, didn’t get any cool op powers out of it)

All Might was supposed to give OfA to Mirio, the literal most heroic character in bnha, a boy who had been working his ass off to become a proper hero since he was a child, but instead he found a quirkless kid and decided that he deserved a chance to become a hero too. I’m not saying that’s not true, or that Deku didn’t deserve it. I’m saying that he didn’t actively or consciously do anything to gain that power. He simply acted in a way true to his self, and that was it.

I’m gonna have to make present to you that the next time I get an ask with that tone in my inbox I’m blocking you without answering. I’m not here to be called an idiot by the first random stranger I find online, if you want a conversation with me all I’m asking is for you to be polite, that’s not too much at all in my opinion.

Anon said:Your last BakuShima comic was so cute!!! AAAAA!! 💖

Thank you!!! I’m super happy you liked it!!!!!! :O

Anon said:I love you. So much right now. Can I give you a virtual hug because I swear

I dunno what I did to deserve this but SURE *holds u back*

Anon said:do you think you'd ever sell any minajirou merch? (maybe like the one with the flower background) because if you do i would buy 20 (not literally but,, i think you get the point) Sorry if this sounds annoying or anything! im just curious

Not annoying at all!!! If I remember right the one I posted was a bit small tho, I’ll have to see if I can work with the size in a way that would fit the default redbubble dimensions... if I can’t I’ll be sure to make the next one big enough to fit, tho!!!! And thank you for wanting to buy my stuff!!!!! :O

Anon said:I'M NOT THAT ANON BUT I CAN HELP W MOMOJIROUS & yes we totally agree they're fuckin gay and canon there's no doubts here. SO anyway I at least see them liking in each other exactly what you said- they have what the other lacks (or thinks they do), and still find the other to understand them and be interested in them in every sense of the word, also tol and beauty and smol and cute are def the first thoughts about each other, damn maybe I should have thought about word limit I need more space

Awwww anon I thank you for trying to explain to me why they work!!! But that’s not the problem I have with it at all haha I understand the ship on a superficial level perfectly, that’s why I ship it! I just can’t seem to find myself in the relationship anywhere, so empathizing with it comes harder than it does when it’s MinaJirou haha

Anon said:you draw kirishima's eyes so pretty I can't look away from them

THANK YOU Kirishima’s eyes are super pretty in canon, I’m so so happy I can portray that in my style well enough!!!!! :O

Anon said:Ok, sorry for going through ur hq!! tag sjeow, oh gosh I love ur art and ur art style and I love the way I draw the boys !!!! Aaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! Thank u for blessing my night!!!! I hope something makes ur day the way going through ur art *cough* again *cough* made my day!!! (Also a question: what's ur second fave ship from hq!! after bokuroo?? )

MATSUHANA :O and thank you so so so so much for liking my stuff!!!!!!! I hope you’re having a great day today too, anon!!!

Anon said:I love you Fran, but I completely disagree with what you told the last anon about the idea behind bnha. You had me with the positivity concept, and I would also love it if eri could fix mirio and nighteye, but the rest of that was just so far off to me; and probably for many other fans in this community. Like, first, a story does not have to be the level of snk or dgray man to have bad things happen. That is how all story telling has been since the beginning of time.

A good narrative story is never straight sunshine and happiness throughout, even if it doesn't involve death. People don't just enjoy the bad things that happen in a story because it's realistic or because it's sad, they enjoy it because that is how a story and it's characters grow. They make mistakes and learn from them; these moments help the characters change and pushes them forward through every new obstacle.

It helps drive them and gives their stories/actions/ideals meaning and gives the audience a reason to care. And that is where I wonder if we are even reading the same story, because this concept is shown throughout the entirety of bnha. It is no where near the "positive-to-a-naive-point" you seem to believe it is. The story starts off with a weak, defenseless deku being beaten by his once best friend?

Like, I really don't want to sound condescending, but I don't understand how you could come to this conclusion. Bakugou has an inferiority complex from hell and suffers constantly from his own inner turmoil, todoroki has an an abusive father with a horrid childhood, iida's brother/idol was paralyzed and almost killed, shigaraki unknowingly killed his parents as a child, toshinori may still be alive, but all might (the hero) is gone to the world forever,

eri was used and experimented on HER ENTIRE LIFE, believing she was a disease to the world and could only cause suffering. I could go on for pages about the suffering these characters have ALREADY gone through- but that is okay, because the story is better for it. Because we as an audience wouldn't have cared nearly as much for deku's gain of one-for-all, if it wasn't for the trials and turmoil he faced his whole life living as a quirkless child;

Bnha is a positive story, but it does not rely solely on positivity to get by. It is a story about determination; to push back against adversity, to go on even in the face of the unknown or impossible; even if fate itself is against you. It's about climbing your mountains and beyond that, dare I say, beyond plus ultra. It's is not trying to adhere to its genre, it's is trying to be everything the genre could be and more, and as succeeded thus far.

Which is why I can understand the disappointment from the last anon, because solving everything through friendship and "hand holding" has become a norm in this genre specifically- and bnha is anything but quick and easy ways out.

Sorry if this is long, and I really hope you don't take this as an attack against you or your opinion. If that is all bnha is to you, and if that is how you perceive the show, who am I to say you are wrong. But I hope you understand what I have said at least, because you still are a huge inspiration to me as an artist and in this community. Hope the rest of your day goes alright.

Alright, first off, if you don’t want to come off as condescending try and maybe don’t be condescending. I’m nearly sure you didn’t do this consciously, considering how you ended the rant, but going “are we even reading the same story” when you supposedly want a civil exchange of opinions is the worst thing you could do ever. You pretty much said “I don’t wanna disregard your opinion but here is a list of reason why you’re wrong and I’m right”, please next time you mean to keep it civil try and avoid that, because that sounds just as bad as you’d assume.

Second, I thank you for the recap of all the tragic backstories bnha gave us, but my answer was about conclusions to arcs, not beginnings. I literally never once said that bnha is a happy-go-lucky story from start to end, I only said it made an habit of reaching for the best possible conclusion it could ever go for by the end of every arc up until now.

“The story starts off with a weak, defenseless deku being beaten by his once best friend”, sure (aside from the “once best friend”, Deku and Bakugou were never friends to begin with, please do reread the second Kacchan vs Deku for Bakugou’s view on their relationship) that’s how the story starts, and it ends with Deku with the strongest quirk on the planet, mentored by his childhood hero, with a civil and friendly rivalry with his childhood bully, on his way to become the number one hero, happy and loved and respected. “”Bakugou has an inferiority complex from hell and suffers constantly from his own inner turmoil” again, sure, and he could have given in to it and become a villain or let his terrible personality just become worse and worse, every single bad thing happened to him could have made him closer to a bad guy or given him good reasons to go against the heroes, and instead he’s working to become better, is loved and cherished, has friends that will build him up and care for him and risk their lives for him, and is actually in a way healthier place than he was in the beginning. “Todoroki has an an abusive father with a horrid childhood” SURE and now he’s got his mother back, he’s learnt to be the bigger person and put distance between himself and his father to instead use him to reach his own goals, is happy and has friends and, again, he’s supported and loved and is in a way happier place than he was in the beginning. “Toshinori may still be alive, but all might (the hero) is gone to the world forever” yes, and in any other manga the reveal would have brought a whole damn lot of drama and people calling him a fraud and turning against him, but instead that scene is the most heartwarming one in the whole manga, the whole world supporting and loving him and yelling his name to cheer him on

I could go on, but I think I made it pretty clear? Every single arc, be it a character arc or a story arc, starts tragic to end up with the most positive outcome you can have for it. There isn’t one arc that has had a tragic conclusion yet. So is it really that weird for me to think it’s believable and not surprising at all that Eri’s story, for however tragic it might have started as, could also have a happy ending? That this manga never tried to present itself as one in which things can and will turn out for the worse?

I’m not even sure exactly what your incredibly long ask was about, man. What were you trying to prove to me? Which part of the answer I gave were you trying to disprove? You just went on about how sad everyone was at the beginning of the manga as if that proved somehow that Horikoshi isn’t actively working to give everyone the happiest future they could have.

A recap of my answer is: “I personally don’t mind Eri having a fix-it quirk because it fits well in Nighteye’s plot and falls perfectly in line with how every other arc has turned out for the best up until now”

And you came at me with an eight asks long rant that can be summed up in “you’re wrong because people in the beginning of the story were sad”

Listen. I’m always open to conversations about different opinions and takes on a story. But, again, I’m gonna need you to be polite about it and open to an equal exchange. Simply going at the end “I hope you won’t feel attacked” and “have a nice day” isn’t enough if for the rest of the rant you talked to me as if you were assuming I’m an idiot. And I’m actually gonna need you to properly read my answers before trying to follow up with them, next time. Please. I don’t have the time to rephrase my answers sixty times just because people keep answering without actually reading them.

#fran answers #i'm sorry about the tone of a couple of the answers i gave in this #being talked down on is one of the things that make it harder for me to remember im trying to be as polite as i can get #but well #that's the last time anyway #this is an art blog after all #i didn't make it to have this sort of arguments #we'll just stick to the doodles from now on shall we (=u=)#anonymous

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marshmallowgoop · 8 years ago

Note

I'm surprised you feel that way, although it made me sad (especially that senketsu was gone), I really loved the way they dealt with the themes of moving on, and of the impact the past should have on us.

I’m surprised that this is surprising! Apparently I haven’t salted enough about the ending recently, huh?

That said, I don’t know if you read this post that I linked in my last response, but I would recommend reading it if you haven’t (and if you want to understand more of my POV). The argument there is just one of the most eloquent I’ve written about why the ending plain doesn’t work, but I can also point to a whole slew of other essays/thoughts on the subject that I’ve done (the ☂ are warnings for Extreme Salt and the numbers in parentheses note that the essay was included on that page in my compiled meta book):

Senketsu’s Death: For the Best? (186) ☂

Senketsu’s Final Fate? (143) ☂

Senketsu “Outgrew” Being a Uniform? (139) ☂

OVA Thoughts ☂

Senketsu’s Death: Is Senketsu Really Dead? (145) ☂ , Part II ☂ , Part III ☂

The OVA is Awful if You Like Senketsu ☂

OVA Salt ☂

“Outgrowing Sailor Uniforms” ☂

And then the one I linked above: Gurren Lagann, Re: Cutie Honey: Kill la Kill Ending Salt ☂

Buuuut that’s a whole heck of a lot of TLDR, so let me pick out the relevant bits:

From Senketsu’s Final Fate? (143) ☂:

I appreciate how the OVA expanded on Senketsu’s dying linesome more with the idea of “graduating” from the past and learning to move on,but, opinions, it wasn’t really the closure I was hoping for. A peek in myanalysis tag shows that I don’t ever seem to stop yapping about how Senketsuis more than a uniform, and I’ll always argue that point,since that’s so much of what the show means to me. And while I’m compelled bythe OVA’s take on “outgrowing” being less about growing up but more aboutletting go of the past and moving on, it still rather adds to this idea of“outgrowing Senketsu”… which leaves a really sour taste in my mouth. Yeah, itseems to be more about what sailor uniforms represent (and particularly, what aKamui represents) than anything about Senketsu personally, but the point stillstands. He’s Ryuko’s friend and partner. You don’t outgrow that.

Worst of all, though, is that the closure at the end heregives off the impression that Ryuko doesn’t need Senketsuanymore, which doesn’t sit right with me. Cause, like, when you lose a friendand you learn to live without them, saying you don’t need them anymore feelsall sorts of wrong. People certainly need people, but with friends, itshouldn’t be about being so reliant on them that you literally need them tolive—it’s about wanting them in your life because they enhanceit by being who they are. So in this sense, yes, Ryuko doesn’t need him, butthat’s not something I want to hear in this show’s final moments. I want tohear that they were friends, that they had good times together, that she’llmiss him but she won’t kill herself in missing him, and she’ll never forgethim. This “I’ve outgrown you and I don’t need you anymore” vibe I get justfeels like a slap in the face after everything those two went through together.

From OVA Thoughts ☂:

I can’t enjoy the OVA as much as I would like because it mucks up one of the show’s most crucial elements. To spend a whole series touting two characters as equals and one and the same and then try to pass one off as just some grand mentor figure that needs to be “outgrown” and moved away from plain doesn’t work. And it works even less to treat him as though he’s been some object all along. All of that seems to be going on with the OVA, and all of it leaves me shaking my head.

From Senketsu’s Death: For the Best? (186) ☂:

You might outgrow sailor uniforms (though I’ll point outthat this sentiment is pretty broken, considering Ryuko still has a year ofhigh school left and no, she’s not done wearing sailor uniforms just yet), butyou don’t outgrow friends.

From Senketsu “Outgrew” Being a Uniform? (139) ☂:

Now, moving on from the battle and letting the past rest? Ican totally see that as a good way to conclude the show. With the idea ofchoosing your own destiny and breaking the strings of fate that bound you, theOVA does indeed work on a lot of levels and asks a lot of touching questions,too. What do you do with yourself once you are freed from fate? How do you moveon? All great. I dig it.

And I’d dig it a lot more if Senketsu was handled as nicely.Ryuko needs to move on from his death and not drown herself in sorrow for hisloss? Awesome! Perfect way to end the series. But it gets so… muddled.

First off, there are a million different ways to interpretwhat even happened with Senketsu. Is he dead and watching over Ryuko in theafterlife? Is he an imaginary space ghost? Is he a god? Is he in Ryuko’s heartand together they get to live out Ryuko’s greatest happiness for reals? Is heboth literally in her heart and Life Fiber Clothing Jesus atthe same time? Is he sharing Ryuko’s body a la Birdy and Tsutomu and they justhave to build him a new one? Is it like Wan and Raava where they’re fused but(I presume) they can still speak to each other and maintain their own personalities?All of these could work in canon, and for something that’s supposed to giveclosure, it’s rather frustrating and confusing. What is even meant to beconveyed with such an ambiguous conclusion to Senketsu’s story? If he’s deadand the theme is moving on from fate, make it clear that he is indeeddead—don’t complicate it.

From The OVA is Awful if You Like Senketsu ☂:

Meanwhile Senketsu’s character is totally shat on [in the OVA], he’streated as little more than an object when his entire arc was about realizinghe’s human and so much more than that, this forced, last-minutemetaphor of “outgrowing your sailor uniform!!!” that never made sense inthe first place and was totally contradictory to the entire rest of the show isfurthered in the most demeaning way possible (“lol senketsu ur just a sailoruniform and guess i’ve moved on from them even though i actually still have ayear of high school left and also weren’t u supposed to be, like, my friend andequal? not anymore!”), and there’s such ambiguity about his final fate thatnobody can seem to agree if he’s even freaking dead or not… which just mucks upthese forced metaphors even more.

I was fucked up for days after I first saw the OVA because Iwas so disappointed by it. I could not believe the treatment of Senketsu, andeven now I still cringe a bit whenever I edit with it or write about it.

From OVA Salt ☂:

The OVA’s supposed to have this big message about moving on(and, in Ryuko’s case, moving on from Senketsu’s loss… I mean, at least, I think that’swhat they’re going for, but it gets so muddled), but it’s hard for it to meanmuch when you don’t really see her suffering. How much didthis loss mean to her? Who knows, because the show doesn’t get into it verymuch.

Which is awful, because it’s a loss that should mean somuch to Ryuko. It was literally one of her greatest fears that she’dlose Senketsu. She had a recurring nightmare about it, and she was so fiercelyprotective over him that she would have died for him without even a moment’shesitation. The two of them are described as “soulmates,” a perfect team,“two-in-one.” She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. This isthe kind of death that deserves some time. And you just don’tget much in the OVA, and what you do pretty much reducesSenketsu to an object.

It’s just… disappointing, especially because I don’t thinkany other (heroic) character would have been treated like this if they had diedinstead–and the OVA certainly wouldn’t be so widely accepted if they were.

From Gurren Lagann, Re: Cutie Honey: Kill la Kill Ending Salt ☂:

Again, I think there’s merit in tragedies and the sad factthat things aren’t always going to work out. I think Senketsu’s death couldhave been really poignant and powerful even if it broke my heart. But themessage they went with [Senketsu living “wouldn’t do anything” for Ryuko’s growth] leaves me empty and not feeling anything but disappointment,and, even worse, it’s not even a tasteful portrayal of such a message as “TheSense of Wonder” is. Senketsu’s entire person is discarded, and a loss that should bemonumental is brushed aside as something righteous and “for the best.”

Okay, that’s a heck of a lot of TLDR, too. So, basically, I guess it comes down to this:

The idea of moving on from the past is fine. It’s fine to do that in relation to a character’s death—even great! However, Senketsu—literally the second or third-most important character—has a death scene that lasts, in its entirety, hardly over one minute. One. Minute. For the protagonist’s canonically-described soulmate. It’s just not good.

And not only that, Senketsu also dies less than five minutes before the end of the series. The show only focuses on Ryuko’s grief for a brief moment and then Senketsu is promptly ignored until, right at the last minute, the show decides, oh, right, yeah, Senketsu, moving on from sailor uniforms, yeah, sure. It seems to me that Senketsu was originally far less of a character than he ended up being, and that’s fine… but then you can’t just shove in your originally-intended ending and act like it’s cool. It’s not.

In fact, I’m sure Senketsu didn’t used to be such a character, because Ryuko thinking about Senketsu in the last moment of episode 24 wasn’t even in the almost-final script. The “outgrowing sailor uniforms” thing ended up being so tacked on in the final version of the story that even the nearly-final draft just kinda threw it out there and completely abandoned it.

So that big, overarching idea of “moving on from the past” that the OVA tries to build on? It was literally thrown together last minute. And it shows. It shows so hard.

Because think of it this way: say Mako died, in the last five minutes of the last episode, in hardly a minute. Say that, as she perished, she told Ryuko that she’d only be holding her back in life (even though the entire rest of the series says otherwise), and that it’s good for her to go. Say Ryuko cried for all of thirty seconds and then there’s a flash forward and she’s shopping with her sister with cheerful music. Say that the whole show ends when Ryuko sees a girl who looks like Mako, feels sad for a second, and then is hunky-dory because she knows Mako helped her get her to where she is.

Would that seem well done or like a sad, but beautiful display of moving on? No! There would be an uproar if this happened! Mako’s death would have felt ridiculously tacked on and pointlessly cruel!

But that’s exactly what happened with Senketsu. His death isn’t given proper time, the “moving on” message is so forced that you don’t even really see it in an almost-final version of the script, and the only reason it gets accepted is because Senketsu doesn’t look like a cute human girl or guy.

And that is why I can’t stand the ending of Kill la Kill.

#Anonymous #oh lord the salt is strong with this one!#tldr tldr tldr #fine -ideas-#but they are not executed well #and i am forever butthurt #i will never get over the ova #i hope this properly explains myself #replies #long post #really long post...#kill la kill #salt.txt #salt la salt #klk ending salt #ramblings #meta #maybe #mostly just a looot of salt

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diosleighrp · 8 years ago

Text

So I wrote a drabble of sorts. A long af drabble but meh. It is untitled since I didn’t really plan on writing it, it just came out after I read a fanfic too many this morning.

Fandom: Gangsta Characters: Worick Archangelo, Original Female Character Words: 1622 Warnings: Self harm, blood, attempted suicide

Please do read and review. This is a style of writing I haven’t touched since high school and I got sent to the Councillor’s office because I wrote a story about teenage bullying :<

Tag

Filthy Tag

Rotten Tag

Useless Tag

It would be better if Tags never existed

They should just die

Tags should kill themselves

You should go kill yourself

k i l l y o u r s e l f

Charlotte’s whole body trembled; her whole family was slaughtered in front of her.

Broken.

Humiliated.

Terrified.

A-3 and yet she could do nothing to save them from their agony.

Despair.

Lost.

Empty.

They were so close to safety, and yet.

The killer had left her to suffer; certain that such an emotionally weak creature would not follow him to enact their revenge.

A wicked laugh carried through the walls of the alleyway, he had left her a parting gift; a knife to aid her in the easement of her suffering.

The rain soon came, replacing the crimson blood of numerous corpses with a washed out red, seeping ever so closer to Charlotte, eventually seeping up her cream coloured dress and staining her clothes a dull pink.

There was nothing left, nothing but her shallow breathing to be heard over the droplets of water hitting the pavement below and the faint ting of the water hitting the knife by her side.

The water washed away the tears that formed moments earlier, her pale blue eyes showing nothing but emptiness. Her short raven hair stuck to her face, soaked and unmoving in the downpour. She eyed the knife beside her, the steel shined menacingly with each droplet of water hitting its perfectly sharp blade.

Nothing.

N o t h i n g.

She felt nothing as she leaned down to pick up the blade and brought it up to her face, looking at her own reflection, the glint in her eyes long gone from a life of torment and abuse from the normals. She only earnt her A-3 status after somehow killing a lecherous A-0 who preyed on her younger sister.

None of that mattered now anyway.

Her sister lied dead before her, her face permanently contorted to one of fear when that normal sliced her stomach open and let her entrails fall to the hard ground below. Her parents shared the same fate, passing in each other’s arms as they tried frantically to put themselves back together. But he left Charlotte alive, but why?

Did he know?

Did he know that she no longer cared? That she lost all hope a long time ago? Was it the dull, listless look in her eyes that gave him pity?

Maybe he just didn’t want to kill someone so pathetic, as her.

An A-3, who couldn’t even protect her family.

One.

Last.

Time.

She moved the knife down to her throat; her breaths calloused as she pressed the tip in enough to cause her to hiss in pain. A few more breaths and she would drive it in, ending her ability to gasp for air. She would no longer have to waste such a precious resource on herself. Tags were scum.

It was easy enough to do, right?

And yet.

What was she feeling?

Why was she feeling?

Fear.

She felt a hand touch hers, it was warm, inviting, something she didn’t deserve.

No.

She had to end it.

She wasn’t worth it.

Slamming her eyes closed, she began to force the knife in. But the hand gripping hers would not allow that. It pulled backwards, forcing her to open her eyes. The owner of the hand was behind her, their hot breath travelling over the top of her head. It was a large hand, now gripping hers tightly in their battle for supremacy. Whoever it was standing behind her didn’t want her to die, or maybe it was the killer back to ensure that she would suffer enough before succumbing to her inner demons.

She turned her head to see someone different.

An eyepatch, shoulder length blonde hair, stubble and a singular blue eye, staring intently at the conundrum before him. She had never seen him before.

But yet.

He wanted to save her.

No.

I’m not worth it.

Not anymore.

She turned her head back to their hands, failing to notice that his other hand had slinked its way over the blade gripping it hard, drawing his own blood. Her breathing stuttered.

Don’t.

Not because of me.

She couldn’t speak. It was-

Hard.

Pointless.

Why?

Somehow, he managed to pull the blade away from her hands, tossing it aside before spinning her around and embracing her deeply, her arms planted at her sides.

He didn’t say a word, he just embraced her. He had-

Saved.

Her.

Saved.

Me.

She breathed in; the scent of stale cigarettes engulfed her senses, there was also a hint of mint about, but the rain had washed most of that pleasantness away.

No familiarity.

No feelings.

He let go, looking into her blue eyes with concern, in search of something, anything to tell him she was there, but she just looked straight through him.

“I should have done something sooner.”

Did her know her? She doesn’t remember him from anywhere she had been in Ergastulum.

It doesn’t matter.

She just pulled away, looking in the direction where he threw the knife, her salvation. Before she could take a step towards it-

“No.” His injured hand grabbed her arm, pulling her into him once again. This time he lifted her arms up, forcing her to wrap her arms around him.

She was a lost cause. What was the point?

“You won’t be hurt any more. I promise.”

Words with no meaning.

She has nothing left.

Nothing left to hurt.

“There’s somewhere you can go, the Guild.”

No.

“There are heaps of people like you there.”

No.

“They will look after you.”

No.

“You will be clothed.”

No.

“Fed.”

No.

“Protected.”

…stop.

“I’ll even come and visit you. Your knight in shining armour.” Now he was trying to be funny?

What a joke.

I am a joke.

But there was sincerity in his words.

Charlotte’s hands twitched. Maybe he was getting to her. But why?

“And you can’t die without meeting this friend of mine; she has the biggest and perkiest rack I have ever seen in my life!” He was definitely trying to be funny.

Why?

Was she really worth his time?

“And the guy who did what he did to your family. He’s been taken care of, I assure you.”

What does that mean?

Is he?

Dead?

“Tell me, what is your name?” He paused for a moment, “No. That’s not right, I already know your name, I remember everyone’s name. Charlotte, right?”

My name?

How?

How does he know me?

The way her muscles tightened spurred him onward.

“You see, I have this terrific memory where I remember every single miniscule detail of what I see or hear. But you, you were important enough for me to actually pay attention to.”

Why?

“Charlotte is a pretty name. Suited to a pretty woman. Like you.”

Why are you being so nice to me?

She trembled, gripping his shirt in response and that was exactly what he was after. She was waking up to him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to your family in time, but you’re still here, you know? Live for them. Be strong, fight for your life.”

My whole life…

I’ve been running.

Hiding.

Suffering.

But-

I’m just a Tag.

Filthy.

Expendable.

“I have a Tag living with me, you know? Can’t hear for shit, but he’s good company.”

Why was he telling her this?

Could she live like that?

Is that what he’s saying?

“There are people who care, Charlotte. I care.”

What?!

Her breath hitched in her throat.

She felt like-

She felt like she was going to-

Cry…

She held onto the mystery man in heaped sobs, overwhelming anguish and sorrow enveloping her very being.

This is what he wanted from her, her wanted her to feel.

Running his uninjured hand up and down her back, he soothed her.

“That’s right,” He spoke, “Just like that. Let it all out.”

She cried for him, screamed for him and let him wash away all of her pain. He patently held her while her every breath sounded like a sorrowful hiccup coming to surface.

After what felt like an eternity, the rain had finally stopped and Charlotte felt an insane weight lift off of her chest.

Maybe all she needed was someone to care.

But that realisation had cost her her family.

Could she really be happy with something like that?

“Live for your family Charlotte.” He spoke again, as if he could read her mind.

When the tears had finally stopped, she no longer felt the strong need to end her life, instead, she felt so tired, and all of her energy was expended from the ordeal. She felt light headed and queasy, the shock finally wearing off and she closed her eyes, going limp in the man’s arms. He was able to catch her before she fell, scooping her up to hold her bridal style as she slipped into unconsciousness.

“This is going to be an interesting one to explain to Nic.” He mused, leaving the scene behind them. “If you’re still awake Charlotte, my name is Worick, by the way.” Her face was finally peaceful, her chest calmly rising and falling against his. He was worried for a moment that he would not get there in time. The family was on their way to Pussy, a Twilight safehouse guised as a nightclub. But he was too late, and was almost too late to save Charlotte from ending her own life.

That is something he would never let anyone do if he had anything to do with it, no matter their circumstances.

No one should ever, ever take their own life.

#fanfic #drabble #gangsta #gangsta anime #gangsta manga #tw: blood #tw: self harm #tw: suicide

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kashuan · 8 years ago

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In which I finally write a long ass post about all my grievances with the never ending shenanigans I see in the Iliad tag because I can’t take it anymore and needed to get it out tbh

Things y’all really need to stop doing, in no particular order: • Treating Clytemnestra like a Bad Bitch Feminist Icon #goals because she killed a character you don’t like. Know what she also was? Pretty hypocritical. Half her motive for killing Agamemnon is the mistreatment of their daughter, but guess what, Clytemnestra then goes on to treat 2/3 of her remaining children pretty much like shit. I suppose you could consider Electra to be an unreliable narrator in terms of her relating how coldly she was treated at home, but the facts don’t lie in that Cly let her new hubby Aegisthus pass Electra off to be married to some peasant so that she and her children would die without any power and wouldn’t be able to take revenge. It’s pretty indisputable though that her treatment of her son Orestes was flat out terrible. As a child, Orestes has to go into exile, as it’s implied Aegisthus would have had him killed otherwise. Cly just Lets This Happen. When Orestes returns to murder both her and Aegisthus as instructed by Apollo, Clytemnestra entreats him with a set of pretty flimsy excuses. Here’s a part from The Libation Bearers:

CLYTAEMESTRA Have you no regard for a parent's curse, my son?

ORESTES You brought me to birth and yet you cast me out to misery.

CLYTAEMESTRA No, surely I did not cast you out in sending you to the house of an ally.

ORESTES I was sold in disgrace, though I was born of a free father. CLYTAEMESTRA Then where is the price I got for you? ORESTES I am ashamed to reproach you with that outright.

Furthermore, she attempts to manipulate Orestes by entreating him to spare her because she is his mother, the one who nursed him, yet we know that this wasn’t actually done by her, and since a young age she has been completely absent in his life otherwise. When Orestes finally does kill her, this girl cannot even let it go at that but essentially makes sure he’s haunted by demons for the rest of his life. Talk about #petty, not even Agamemnon took it that far. So this character who's set up as like Badass Mama Bear is actually….not. Post Iphigenia at Aulis Clytemnestra is actually pretty self-serving, but not in the sort of way that should be admired. I think Clytemnestra is a great flawed character. Please no more ‘my perfect queen deserved better’ posts. I’m beggin’ ya. Read more than a summary of like 1/4th of her history and then let’s talk. • So I’m gonna follow this up with my long stewing Agamemnon Apologist rant (you: yikes me: Buckle Up). I’d like to begin this by saying we can all definitely agree that this man is a garbageboy stinkman. No arguing that. I love a good ‘Agamemnon is an asshole’ joke as much as the next guy. HOWEVER, when, when will I be free from posts that act like this character is honestly so completely one dimensional, that jokes about it comprise literally 98% of the tag. Where are the actually interesting meta posts that consider things about him beyond JUST being a dumpster of a man. For example, we know he was at least a half-decent bro. In book 4 of the Iliad, Menelaus basically scrapes his knee and Agamemnon essentially calls a T.O. on the entire war because HIS BROTHER, OK!!! Like yeah, he also includes a hilariously selfish line in that part that Menelaus can’t bite it because then he will be disgraced when he goes home, but the point stands. Further evidence of these having a tight relationship can be found in the Iphigenia at Aulis play. After the two of them have had a savage as hell argument about whether or not to sacrifice Iphigenia, taking some serious pot shots at each other, they have this exchange

MENELAUS I’ve changed, and I’ve changed because I love you, brother. I’ve changed because of my love for my mother’s son. It’s a natural thing for men with decent hearts to do the decent thing. AGAMEMNON I praise you, Menelaus for these unexpected words, proper words, words truly worthy of you. Brothers fight because of lust and because of greed in their inheritance. I hate such relationships; they bring bitter pain to all.

I think Agamemnon’s relationship with Menelaus is actually one of the more interesting ones among the cast because he is both in a way protective yet also very controlling of his brother. Here and Here are a couple of fantastic essays on their dynamic and the way it differs from source to source. While on the subject of the play Iphigenia at Aulis and my favorite problematic fav getting the short end of the stick from fandom, can I just say that the majority of retellings, posts, and so on about this particular event ARE TERRIBLE? I’m so tired of seeing it depicted as though Agamemnon just killed his daughter like some afterthought, possibly while twirling his mustache like a cartoon villain. There is so, SO much more nuance to that scene and it kills the man when I see how no one ever discusses it in favor of just saying lol Agamemnon’s a dick, so anyway. Iphigenia herself is actually one of the best sources we have for the fact Agamemnon probably had more than a grand total of zero good traits. The relationship between the two is obviously a very close one and on the whole we get the sense that, aside from the whole killing his daughter thing (ya) he was actually a good dad. Like an inverse Clytemnestra :,). The scene where Iphigenia first speaks with Agamemnon is particularly telling of what was probably their normal relationship. IPHIGENIA What’s wrong, daddy? You say you’re happy to see me but your face looks worried! AGAMEMNON A king, darling, a General is always worried. IPHIGENIA Make your worries go away, daddy. From now on, think only of me. AGAMEMNON Yes, my darling. I shall think of nothing else but you from now on IPHIGENIA Well then, get rid of this ugly frown from the face that I love so much! AGAMEMNON There! Oh, what a joy it is to see you, Iphigeneia! IPHIGENIA But… but look at you, father! Full of joy and yet tears flow from your eyes…AGAMEMNON Yes, dear… because our separation will be a long one.

Is he still a completly awful man for having sacrificed her? Yes. Completely. But here’s a few factors that play into this decision that I never see anyone, ever, mention: -It is Agamemnon’s intention to send Iphigenia away, to save herself, at the last minute, but Menelaus intercepts the letter meant to warn her of her fate. -Charismatic Odysseus has a good deal of control over the soldiers at this point and was probably looking to further increase his popularity among them (a consistent theme-- see: when he’s ready to shank his bff Diomedes just to be the only one to bring home a trophy from Troy instead of both of them). One can imply that if Agamemnon didn’t go through it, he would have done it himself -- and Agamemnon knew that (he mentions as much). -Gods are terrifying, my dudes. Treating it as though he could have just said ‘naw’ to Artemis’ order for Iphigenia’s death and gone home expresses a pretty fundamental lack of understanding how the Greeks feared the gods and just what the stakes likely already were by that point. Artemis was already pissed that he killed one of her sacred deer so it wasn’t as though she was just like ‘you can either sacrifice your daughter or go home unscathed’. I’ve only seen one other retelling accurately capture what very likely would have happened if Agamemnon didn’t go through with it: Artemis likely would have retaliated at the disrespect against the men and probably his family. Furthermore, the soldiers had already been stranded at Aulis for months on end-- a mutiny was exceedingly likely if they found out what was going on, one in which where they probably would have harmed not only him but also Clytemnestra and baby Orestes who came with Iphigenia. These two facts are more conjecture, but it’s a pretty plausible estimate and I’ve seen several scholarly essays arrive at the same conclusion. If you’d actually like to see a depiction of Agamemnon that is both incredibly sympathetic yet does not shy away either from showing how terrible what he did was, please watch the 1977 Iphigenia movie. One of my favorite movies in general. Honestly I feel I could make a giant essay out of My Feelings on this particular subject alone so I’ll wrap it now because I have a lot of other stuff I want to get to, though I’ll include one final pet peeve: the amount of people who call Agamemnon trash because he was Sexist. You know who else was a Meninist? Every single goddamn man in ancient Greece. Okay, I’ll give a pass to characters like Patroclus and Hector when it comes to the women front because all we see is them being pretty decent. But like. Otherwise??? Sure, just because everyone is that way doesn’t make it any less shitty-- I’m not arguing that. But it’s also like reading a novel focused on an entire group of mobsters, but calling out only one of them as Problematic for being a criminal. Like, my dudes... TL;DR: Agamemnon is a dick jokes are funny and completely deserved but throw in a few posts here and there that actually suggest you might have read more than just Book 1 of the Iliad and nothing else. Character depth is your friend. • That said, for the love of god, stop writing Menelaus like he’s just Agamemnon 2.0. A lot of adaptions do this because they don’t seem to know what to do with his character (I’m lookin’ @ u most of all Troy though he suffers some form of this in almost all film adaptions...) Which is a shame because Menelaus as a character is a lot more (and better) than that. From what we do know, Menelaus was actually (relatively speaking) a pretty chill guy and one of the least problematic out of these assholes (y’know, minus that scene I mentioned above with Iphigenia, but hey...at least he admits he fucked up?). We know that Helen voluntarily chose him to be her husband. We know that Helen wanted to return home to him by the time the Iliad takes place. We know they got back together after the war and more or less lived happily ever after. So why do I keep seein’ all these posts about Helen hating him or about him being another warmonger like Agamemnon. Menelaus was a Decent Dude. Leave him alone :,| • Speaking of Helen, how many times am I going to read “feminist” retellings where she either is totally indifferent to or even wanted the war to happen, where she enjoys watching men die, where she ~reclaims~ her demigoddess power and is A Figure To Be Feared. What Helen is this??? Because in the Iliad, Helen is remorseful af about all the people she’s indirectly responsible for the deaths of. There are more ways to build up and strengthen female characters than to make them just like the men they despise. Just. Saying. I get that people want to free her from the damsel in distress role she’s essentially relegated to, me too, but that is NOT the way to do it. Girl can be strong willed but still have a great amount of empathy. As with essentially every other bullet point above, please just give these characters more than one dimension. • Also, how many times am I gonna have to read about The One Fellow Female (Helen or Clytemnestra usually) who believes Cassandra’s prophecies in order to emphasize like, girl power, or that the author feels sorry for Cass and want to project that onto some other character or something. Dude, she was cursed not to be believed. PERIOD. BY ANYONE. There was no clause in the curse for like “except someone who really thinks you’re swell”. It’s tragic because there are no exceptions. No one believes her. NO ONE. THE END. • Achilles was bi. Bi af (by modern standards, of course). See: Iphigenia, Deidamia, Briseis, Polyxena, Penthesilea… I totally get this movement of wanting to call Achilles gay because for so long he and Patroclus have gotten the ‘just guys bein’ dudes’ treatment from scholars. I think it’s absolutely fantastic that potential element of his character is more widely recognized and accepted now. However, I can’t help but get these really uncomfy biphobia feels when I read all the posts about how gay he is, as if liking women makes his relationship with Patroclus less legitimate. That was one thing about TSOA which also really disappointed me-- it had to pull that yaoi fanfic trope of ‘girls are so icky and gross’ in order to further sell how convinced you should be of the same sex relationship. It’s just, Bad And Not Good. Finally, I feel like y’all are so busy hating Agamemnon and shoving off every single bad character trait into existence onto him, that Achilles is always ultimately depicted as this #relatable teen who did nothing wrong except get a little too upset when his bf died. May I remind you of just a few things Achilles also did: -Indirectly got a lot of men killed by refusing to fight during his quarrel with Agamemnon -Had 12 innocent children killed when Patroclus died -Basically everything involving Troilus. From wikipedia: [Achilles] is struck by the beauty of both [Polyxena and Troilus] and is filled with lust. It is the fleeing Troilus whom swift-footed Achilles catches, dragging him by the hair from his horse. The young prince refuses to yield to Achilles' sexual attentions and somehow escapes, taking refuge in the nearby temple. But the warrior follows him in, and beheads him at the altar before help can arrive. The murderer then mutilates the boy's body. Some pottery shows Achilles, already having killed Troilus, using his victim's severed head as a weapon as Hector and his companions arrive too late to save him. The mourning of the Trojans at Troilus' death is great. -Just straight up fucking murders a guy for making fun of him after he just murdered someone else. "Achilles, who fell in love with the Amazon [Penthesilea] after her death, slew Thersites for jeering at him" I’m sure there’s more receipts like this. So like. Can we throw in a couple posts now and then among the Agamemnon ones about Achilles, who was Problematic for far more reasons than just sulking in his tent :,) ...Okay. I think that’s it. FOR NOW. I guess I’ll end this by saying half of this is just my own opinion and I recognize that people can interpret and retell these stories and characters however they want to. It’s when it becomes so consistent however that people treat it like it is The One True Canon when it’s actually not that my jimmies get a bit rustled. [/END RANT]

#the iliad

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