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kaphyr · 2 years ago

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Making Shigaraki Make Sense

Is anyone else confused by the “character” Shigaraki not his disjointed philosophy or whatever? I literally don’t get what’s going on as a writer. He’s confusing and I have no idea how to write him into a fic - and honestly, there are barely any Shigaraki-centric fics I like out there.

(If you have any thoughts on Shigaraki’s character or recs for Shigaraki-centric fics (preferably ShigarakixIzuku) do leave them in the comments/DM me :D )

However! I found a solution - basically, I stopped being lazy and actually did the thing I normally do when writing a book: a Character Sheet!

Essentially, the way that I understand Shigaraki (by which I mean I don’t) didn’t gel with the story I was making or the relationships I was building, so, I figured I would build him from the ground up!

Which meant research. Ew.

First things first, I kept his physical description though I gave him scars where he got shot during the USJ arc. But since I don’t know what exactly he’s got going on with his skin, I thought I might explain it as a mixture of conditions: being extra dry (Catching UFOs by mrjengablock - which I just started reading - talks about how that might be helping him have direct contact with objects without oils/sweat getting in the way), stress-induced eczema, and a very mild dust allergy (lol). Also, I’m not leaving him like that just because! I’m doing that to show how little he cares for appearances (based on societal expectations) as well as not caring about the pain or even thinking that’s just how his life has to be for him.

Enter Izuku!

Izuku helps him take care of himself, buying him eczema cream, washing and styling his hair, and getting him petroleum jelly (which I assume would be the least painful and least likely to react badly with his cuts). This is how I can show that Shigaraki can compromise and does consider Izuku’s opinion and shit.

Second: Shigaraki’s personality.

I basically used what was on the BNHA wiki but added that he cares about Izuku and that he gets less irritable as time goes on. He also feels proud when Izuku says/does things that go against the hero status quo. He also changes from believing in chaos for the sake of chaos and being directionless under AFO (seeing as in my fic AFO is dead).

Third: Shigaraki’s relationships

I did a lot of changes here, the most notable one being his relationship with Izuku. As Izuku didn’t go to UA, they didn’t meet until Izuku was 20 and they had a couple of one-night-stands that devolved into the mess of a labelless thing they have rn. Think open relationship with someone you’re constantly arguing with but would die for.

Since LoV isn’t exactly a thing, rn, Shigaraki only has close contact with Dabi and Kurogiri. He still has a master/servant relationship with Kurogiri - actually, it is more pronounced here than in canon because AFO is dead so Shigaraki is his only boss. Dabi hangs around the bar and still works with him as muscle, tech guy, and a friend. He split up with Toga on good terms (this will become relevant later in my fic). He’ll meet Spinner online and they’ll bond over gaming. I think I’ll have him radicalize Spinner. We’ll see. As for AFO, he slowly realizes how AFO was just using him, moulding him.

Fourth: Shigaraki’s past.

It’s the same, lol. Except I’m pushing the USJ and training in the mountains arc to Katsuki’s last year in UA. Additionally, AFO and OFA die after his kidnapping.

Fifth: Shigaraki’s political ideology.

BNHA is inherently highly political and I don’t know why I’m surprised it’s such a letdown when it tries not to be. Honestly, some of my biggest gripes are right here. It’s trying to make Shigaraki an “anarchist” the way that the West colloquially understands them to be. (He wants to end society as it is and believes “the strong should live, the weak should die, and I am strong”.) Which. I can’t explain how much I find that annoying. In canon, he’s just an annoying manchild who can’t even take his thoughts to their logical conclusion. Dude, if you hate the fact that you were overlooked in a world where there are heroes and you suffered greatly, what do you think will happen to all the children in the world if you destroy it!?!!?!!

Anyways.

I’m not saying it’s unrealistic to make him this destructive while also making his grievances and actions clash - but it does make him stupid. Or willfully ignorant. And I don’t think he should be. He’s strong, he’s charismatic (in his own ways) and he already has a bunch of negative qualities (stubbornness, bad temper, etc.); he doesn’t need this.

So, instead, I’m making him start off with the same ideology except it’s going to get refined with AFO no longer controlling him and Izuku being in his life. I don’t wanna spoil too much but I’m thinking terrorism/stochastic terrorisim, using social media, (political) tailing (i.e. using other political movements to build your own), espionage, etc. All of it to expose how the hero system is corrupt, corrupted, and unnecessary and to find other ways for people to live the life they want to live no matter their quirk. Basically telling a story where you can imagine that he sees himself as the hero of his own story instead of an unthinking villain.

Would love to hear anyone’s thoughts on this. BTW, I found Lots of Thoughts about MHA by sarehptar (Tumblr post version) to be a great resource when I was just staring to think about my BNHA fic: The Long Defeat.

#been meaning to do this for a while #BTW this is for my fic #The Long Defeat #shigaraki #mha shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki headcanons #shigaraki hcs #ao3 #Read on AO3 #ao3fic #ao3 author

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nogreatillusion · 4 years ago

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Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before Giving Birth

-- Zippers are preferable to snaps and both are certainly better than buttons, but don't let people make you feel bad if you want to buy a couple of impractical, beautiful baby things that they'll only wear once. -- A friend (a doctor!) DID tell me that most people hate their baby for the first two weeks, a thoroughly un-researched fact which shocked my grandmother but gave me an enormous sense of relief before my baby was born as I was finally able to unburden myself from the fear that I might fail to live up to the overwhelmingly prevalent idea that all mothers will immediately fall madly in love from the moment their child is born and stay that way. -- Don't waste your money on expensive diapers. They will all leak sometimes and that's life. Buy the cheap ones. Same goes for wipes. They're all the same. -- If you are planning to breastfeed, buy lots of very comfortable bras and then buy at least two more than you think you need. You will be unshowered, covered in milk, and behind on laundry for at least a couple of months. Clean, comfortable bras are a gift. -- If you get a clogged milk duct, it will feel like a little lump in your breast and you can massage it out using a vibrator. Do this ASAP to prevent mastitis. -- I think bottle warmers might be a scam. -- You can breastfeed lying down. It might work better, and it will certainly be easier on your back. -- Babies can just wear pajamas or onesies all the time for their first year of life. You don't need "outfits," or separates, unless you want them. No one will notice or care. -- Don't forget to brush your teeth and go to bed like a normal person sometimes. It took me 3 days to remember this. It feels insane to "go to bed" when you're getting up every two to three hours. Do it anyway. -- You're going to hallucinate due to lack of sleep and intense anxiety about falling asleep with the baby. You will imagine that the baby is lost in the sheets until your husband insists for the third time that the baby is in the bassinet. This will go on for months and it will always feel terrible. -- Pick a few good TV shows with a lot of seasons to watch the first month. You're going to be spending a lot of time on the couch. Like a lot. -- Formula smells incredibly bad and it is shockingly expensive. It can also be a lifesaver. -- You can keep track of feedings and diaper changes and baby sleep on a little handwritten spreadsheet to report to your pediatrician like a good parent, but this might also drive you slowly insane until your child's doctor has to remind you that you're raising a child, not running a hospital and really, you can stop. Please don't do this to yourself. -- Socks are for suckers. If it's cold out, buy footie everything for as long as you can possibly get away with it. -- None of the expensive eczema lotions or body washes will make any difference for your baby’s sensitive skin, but you can buy them anyway if it makes you feel better to do something. It will probably get better on its own when they get older and you've long since given up on the fancy creams. -- Buy the adult diapers for postpartum bleeding. -- You can use your baby's desitin on your own butt if things are beginning to chafe down there. -- Be prepared that breastfeeding might be a two person job for at least the first few weeks. It's complicated and difficult for many women, and having a partner there to help juggle and keep the baby (and you!) awake might be necessary! -- You don't really have to master swaddling. It's fine. I'm convinced that birthing classes devote time to this technique solely because it makes you feel like you're in control of something. You're not and you can buy sleep sacks that do the same thing, but better. -- Plain old spaghetti strap tank tops that you can slip an arm/boob out of work just as well as expensive, ugly nursing tops. — You don’t need the $900 stroller. I promise you. Spend your money on the nicest rocking chair you can find, if you have the space. You will be spending a lot of time there. -- Read the sleep books before the baby is born. Take notes. Make a plan. You will not have the energy for this later. -- Stop googling things about SIDS after 10 PM. Turn off your phone. Stop it!! -- If your partner has time off work for a while, a really good time to nap is when people come over to see the baby. You don't have to "host," you don't have to be "on," you can ask them to leave whenever you want. Let your partner handle it. The rules of politeness no longer apply. -- Don't expect to feel like you have it together for at least 2 months. The first 2 months are a blur. By 4 months, you'll finally be hitting your stride. Be patient with yourself. -- You do not have to let people visit you in the hospital before you've taken a shower and put on the cute pajamas you brought. You are going to feel like you were hit by a car and that no one seems to notice or care. You don't have to let people visit you in the hospital at all, actually. It's entirely up to you, as much as your parents may disagree. -- Crying is normal. For both of you. -- It can be really hard to get a newborn baby into a carseat for the first time. Make sure your partner helps handle this before going to get the car or you may find yourself in tears, squatting painfully in front of the car seat on the hospital floor, trying desperately to maneuver a tiny little person who is still curled up like a snail. -- Bring so many snacks to the hospital. Bring an entire duffle bag of snacks. No one else has to know what's in there. -- Buy the big burp cloths. Buy a lot of them. Keep them handy in every room of your house. — Do not buy that goddamn Snoo. -- It's ok and necessary to put your baby down. You will want places to set the baby down in each room of your home. Swings, snuggle pillows, playmats, bouncers, baskets, bassinets, whatever. It's up to you, but try to keep one spot to put them down in each room that you spend a lot of time in. It doesn’t need to be anything fancy. A blanket on the floor works in a pinch! -- When it comes to feeding, buy the bibs that can go in the dishwasher and a highchair that can be entirely wiped clean. -- You're going to clip the baby's finger with the tiny nail clippers. It will be awful. You will all survive. -- Get the breast shields with the silicone edges for pumping. Pumping sucks and anything you can do to make it slightly more comfortable is worth it. — A certain percentage of baby crying is unrelated to needing milk, sleep, or a diaper change. Sometimes babies just cry! They’re like people and they have moods! Remind yourself of this when you’re losing your mind trying to figure out what you’ve forgotten to try. You can just pretend they are a very small friend who needs to cry for a bit, and be a soothing presence while they work through it. -- Reusable nursing breast pads are more comfortable and absorbent than the disposable kind, and will keep you from feeling nervous about leaking every time you leave the house. -- It's ok to leave the baby in a safe place to go to the bathroom. The first time you have to do this, it will be terrifying. -- Don't expect the suction bowls to stay put. Your baby is strong and not an idiot. -- You might need more changing pad covers than you think you do. -- The baby milestone books exist to make you feel either superior or terrified. It's ok not to read them. Your baby will roll over when they roll over. Please stop worrying. -- The first few times you watch the youtube video of someone masterfully wrapping their baby in a fabric sling, you will decide it is impossible. It's not, and you'll get better at it with practice, though you may always feel like you're not *quite* doing it right. This is a metaphor for all of motherhood.

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five-rivers · 3 years ago

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Long Night in the Valley Chapter 13

The car didn’t seem more crowded, but it was. Spinner had the dubious honor and privilege of being in one of Mr. Compress’s marbles, along with the doctor. Midoriya Inko sat in his recently vacated seat.

She was, without a single doubt, the most dangerous person in the vehicle. Mostly because she was completely insane. She had spent the first few minutes of driving detailing how she could blow up the car with her quirk and making sure that they knew she’d do it if she thought she had to.

What would make her think she ‘had to’ was a mystery Tomura didn’t particularly want solved.

He could totally see what Sensei saw in her, and he didn’t like it. He wished he could go back to ignorance. This questline was insane. The whole game was going to wind up broken. Had he killed an essential NPC at some point?

Eyeballs were small objects. So were most organs.

Midoriya Inko was someone Tomura could respect.

Would Midoriya Izuku be like this, if Tomura had an actual conversation with him? Their conversation at the mall hadn’t exactly been… normal. Tomura could admit he’d been using his intimidation skill to move the conversation along. Of course, Midoriya had struck him as a two-dimensional All Might fanboy at that point. Limited dialogue options. Killed in the next encounter. A hidden miniboss, yes, but just a miniboss. Not terribly important to the main campaign. Forgotten by disc two.

Clearly, he’d been wrong.

Which he shouldn’t have had mixed feelings about, but definitely did.

“Dear,” said Midoriya Inko, making everyone in the car stiffen, “do you have eczema?”

“The what?” asked Tomura, his tone too subdued to be considered snapping, because he wasn’t about to snap at someone who had convincingly demonstrated her ability to crush his organs against the inside of his abdominal cavity.

“Oh!” said Toga. “I know this one, Mom! It’s a skin condition.”

Tomura pulled his hand away from where it had been scratching at his neck. “I don’t have a skin condition. It just itches sometimes.”

Midoriya Inko nodded. “Yes, that sounds like eczema, I—” She stopped, blinking. “Did you just call me ‘Mom?’”

“Yeah, is that okay? Izu-kun and I are dating, after all!”

“No, she isn’t!” shouted Twice, the car swerving a little. “She is not! Only in her dreams!”

“Ah,” said Midoriya Inko. “I see. Well, I don’t mind you calling me that, but I think you really need to ask Izuku before you say that you’re dating. Make sure you’re on the same page, dear.”

Toga pouted.

“Now, where was I? Eczema. Izuku used to have eczema, but he grew out of it, mostly. I still carry some cream with me. Do you want some?”

Would refusing be dangerous?

Was the cream secretly poison?

Was this a complex scheme to get under his skin?

“Oh, Izuku mutters like that, too,” said Midoriya Inko, happily. “You remind me quite a bit of when he was going through his antisocial phase, actually. It would be funny if it turned out that you were related, wouldn’t it? Quite a coincidence, hm? One I’ll have to talk to my husband about.” The last sentence was as hard as diamonds and as poisonous as cyanide.

Tomura once again decided that he regretted everything.

“This is terrible,” whispered Tsuyu for the fifth or sixth time.

“Tres mal,” agreed Aoyama.

“Is it bad that I can completely believe All Might wrote this?” asked Satou.

“Why would it be bad?” asked Shouji.

“Because it’s so… bad.”

“And yet,” said Yaoyorozu, “oddly compelling.”

“Why does he use so much English?” grumbled Mineta.

“What a mad banquet of darkness,” said Fumikage, who was, nevertheless, also reading the fanfic on his phone.

“But, like, it makes it pretty obvious that All Might thinks the world of Midoriya,” said Kaminari. “Do you think he knew that other people could read this?”

“I mean,” said Jiro. “He had to, right? It wasn’t like he was born in the nineteen hundreds.”

“I don’t know, sometimes you’ve got to wonder. Like… sometimes it’s as if he was grown in a lab to be the perfect hero, you know?”

“Kaminari, stop trying to be Todoroki, please,” said Fumikage. “You do not need to dip yourself into the darkness.”

“I’m just saying,” said Kaminari. “And it isn’t as if we don’t know that there are a bunch of mad scientist types that would do just that, plus the Hero Commission is psychotic—”

“That’s unkind to psychotic people,” said Fumikage, glowering. “You know, most psychotic people never hurt anyone. The incidence of villainy among people who experience psychosis isn’t significantly higher than among the general population.”

“Sorry, man, just a figure of speech.”

The bus slowly came to a stop outside UA’s gates.

“My switch isn’t working,” said Green Light as he repeatedly pressed a button on his dash. “I guess they’re still on lockdown. We’ll have to wait for Nezu to come let us in.”

“Still?” asked Midnight. “Midoriya isn’t even in the city anymore, as far as we know.”

“Not that he was ever a threat to the school,” mumbled Present Mic, his quirk making him loud enough to be heard regardless.

Fumikage, having finished the fanfic some time ago, looked out the window and spotted two people in suits loitering near the gate. “Yamada-sensei, Kayama-sensei, who are those people?”

Everyone rushed over to Fumikage’s side of the bus to look out the window, rocking the vehicle.

“Ohh,” said Present Mic. “Yeah. That makes sense. Those guys are with the commission. Yep. Good ol’ Nezu, keeping them out.”

“Wait,” said Jiro, “does this mean we’re stuck out here, too?”

“No, no,” said Present Mic. “He’ll have to let us in… But then they’ll come in, too.”

“Midoriya’s room,” said Fumikage. “They’ll want to search it.”

“Can we do something?” asked Kouda, timidly.

“Should we do anything?” asked Tsuyu, bluntly. “We don’t want to incriminate Midoriya even more by making it look like he’s hiding things.”

Fumikage turned to Kaminari. “Anything new from Principal Nezu?”

“Why are you looking at me?”

“You’re the one he emailed last time.”

“Hey, Fumikage,” said Jiro, “do you think you can fly over the wall? Maybe you can get a head start on… well, whatever, I guess.”

“I don’t think we should do anything suspicious while they’re watching,” reiterated Tsuyu.

“Yeah, plus we really revamped campus security. And this is Nezu we’re talking about.”

“The Rat God,” someone whispered, reverently.

(Was that Shouji?)

“Exactly, exactly,” said Present Mic. “So, everyone, just, please, calm down. Just sit back down, and we’ll ride the bus to the dorms. Like normal.”

“Yamada-sensei, nothing about this is normal,” said Tsuyu, flatly.

“Well,” said Present Mic, “yeaaaah, okay, you got me there, listeners.”

“Nezu’s coming up,” said Green Light. “Aw, he has Eri with him. They’re so short together.”

“Green Light,” crackled the radio in Nezu’s voice. “Did you forget that I have cameras and microphones installed on all our buses?”

“That’s how he knew I was the one putting together the compilation!” said Kaminari.

Fumikage peered out the window and furtively opened it, so they could hear what was going on. Eri was definitely there. She was also sporting the deepest, most dismal, aura of darkness Fumikage had ever laid eyes on. Luckily, it seemed to be aimed at the commission lackeys in the form of a smile and dead, dead eyes.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen!” said Nezu, cheerily. “I apologize for the long wait! As Lunch Rush indubitably told you, we had a small emergency.”

“We’ve been out here for hours. What kind of emergency could have kept you for hours under these circumstances?”

Eri’s smile grew both broader and deader. “Me,” she said. “I’m the emergenny.”

“Emergency,” corrected Nezu, gently.

“Emergency,” repeated Eri.

“I’m sorry?” said the shorter of the two investigators.

“I’m the emergency. I hada—” she paused, and her face pinched slightly in concentration. “I had an emergency, because, because, you’re being mean to Deku.”

“We—”

“You’re mean,” insisted Eri. “You’re bad guys. Deku is the good guy, because he saved me. Only bad guys are mean to good guys.”

“Excuse me, is this Chisaki Eri?”

Eri hissed.

“Perhaps I could ask you to refrain from using that family name. We’ve been trying to get past what her form did to her, you understand. Teach her morality.”

“I’ll bite you,” said Eri, malevolently.

“Self-defense, as well,” continued Nezu. “It’s very important for children to be able to feel safe and confident in themselves, don’t you think? And the recent news dealt a serious blow to that. You understand, then why I felt that it was more important to take care of my ward and other students than to greet you here. Especially given that you wished to interview Eri-chan as well.”

“I’ll bite you,” repeated Eri. “A lot.”

“We’ll… need a look at Midoriya’s room, first.”

“Way to go, Eri,” whispered Shinsou.

“Very well! You’ll have to come around to the front office to fill out some paperwork. We’ll need a physical copy of your badges, as well as a copy of your warrant, for our records…”

The gate opened, distracting Fumikage from whatever else Nezu had said. Green Light quickly drove through, making straight to the dorms. Fumikage snapped the window shut.

“So, uh,” said Kaminari. “What’re we going to do about Midoriya’s All Might shrine of a room?”

“Should we even do anything?” asked Jiro. “If stuff is disturbed, that’s going to be suspicious. I don’t want to get him into more trouble.”

“It’s a teenage boy’s bedroom,” said Mineta. “The stuff in there is already disturbed.”

“Mineta, I don’t know how to tell you this,” said Kaminari, “but your experiences are not universal.”

“None of you are disturbing Midoriya’s room at all,” said Midnight, standing. “You didn’t forget that we were here, did you? If you say yes, we’ll have to take some time to work on your situational awareness~”

Nemuri hadn’t quite known what to expect from the words ‘All Might shrine.’ In her experiences, the word ‘shrine’ could, especially when applied to a person’s hobby or area of interest, could cover a vast array of displays of varying intensity.

But Midoriya really went Plus Ultra on everything, didn’t he?

“Okay, kiddos,” said Midnight, “what would you say was the most incriminating thing in this room?”

She and Present Mic were the only ones actually in the room, but the students were gathered right outside the door.

“Notebooks.”

Midnight nodded. They’d get those first, then search for other places Midoriya may have put evidence of less-than-entirely-morally-upright behavior. Not that Midnight really expected to find any.

“Where does he keep them?” she asked.

“He has a shelf above his desk he usually keeps them on, kero.”

Midnight looked at the shelf above Midoriya’s desk.

It looked back at her.

This was because it was a void. As in, void of any notebooks. An abyss of sorts. Empty.

There were no notebooks in evidence.

“This will be a problem.”

“G-Gigantomachia?” asked Izuku, turning up the sweetness in his tone despite his nerves. And pain. Yep, there was a whole lot of pain, everywhere. Now that he was no longer actively running for his life, it felt like he’d pulled every muscle in his body.

“Yes, Little Lord?” asked Gigantomachia, happily.

He was like a giant dog. Izuku almost felt bad tricking him like this, but he reminded himself that Gigantomachia was a giant, evil dog. So.

“Will you do something for me?”

“Of course, Little Lord!”

“Well,” said Izuku, “you remember how I said that Shigaraki Tomura and I don’t get along?”

“Yes, Little Lord! My memory is very good!”

Izuku blinked. “Is that a—” He cut himself off with a shake of his head. Not the time. “Well, I think that it might be a good idea if, ah, we established that he can’t attack me anymore.”

Gigantomachia stood up, shaking the earth and almost sending Izuku tumbling down. “HE ATTACKED YOU?”

Maybe this would be easier than he thought. “Yeah. A couple times. I’m okay, though!” He waved his hands. “I just think that it might be a good idea if we established a, uh, a pecking order. Sort of.”

“I’M GOING TO PECK HIM TO DEATH.”

“Please do not actually kill him.”

“I’M GOING TO PECK HIM MOSTLY TO DEATH.”

“That’s the spirit,” said Izuku.

“I’LL SHOW HIM YOU’RE IN CHARGE. YOU’RE MUCH BETTER THAN HE IS. MUCH MORE LIKE LORD.”

Wow. That was… certainly a statement. That Izuku was going to try his best to forget forever.

“Right. So. If you see him, do that,” said Izuku, nodding.

“OF COURSE, LITTLE LORD.”

“And, this is just a reminder, but don’t go into towns.”

“I WILL REMEMBER!”

“Great,” said Izuku. “I’m going to go back in and, uh…” He couldn’t say ‘plot my escape with Toshinori.’ “Rest,” he settled on.

“Oh!” Gigantomachia crouched down, his voice suddenly whisper-soft. Assuming rocks could be described as whispering. “Sleep well, Little Lord!”

“Thanks,” said Izuku, beating a hasty retreat.

“Stop the car!”

“But you said-!”

“Just stop the car, Twice.”

There was a not-at-all hidden ‘or else’ in those words. Twice, once again, stopped the car.

“Oh, my,” said Midoriya Inko, leaning forward. “That man up there looks remarkably like the sitter Hisashi hired for Izuku.”

“Oh, god,” said Tomura, dragging his hands down the sides of his face in lieu of looking out the window. “We aren’t prepared for this level.”

Midoriya Inko suddenly disappeared. Tomura made a noise in the back of his throat that wasn’t at all a scream.

Mr. Compress raised his hands defensively. “I thought it best to marble her while she was distracted. We wouldn’t want her to get injured in ”

“Wow! Way to go, Mr. Compress!” said Toga, giving the other villain a hug. “Good thinking!”

“Yeah!” agreed Twice. “Now she can’t hurt us—But she sure can when you let her out!”

“Which is why I propose we bring her to Giran at the first feasible opportunity. Between him and the doctor, I’m sure they can make arrangements for her that we need not be involved in. And I will make sure we are all far, far away when I let her out.”

There was a series of sighs of relief.

“Good idea,” croaked Tomura. “But what are we going to do about—” He swore vehemently. “He’s seen us, he’s seen us we’ve got aggro! Reverse!”

“Is that Vlad-sensei’s car?”

“Unfortunately,” said Toshinori, “I think it is. Oh, dear, the man’s one to hold a grudge. I think I’ll have a new nemesis by the end of this.”

Today had been a very annoying day in general for Vlad King, but for some reason, his sense of annoyance suddenly doubled. This made his hands clench and thereby tear the piece of paper he was holding.

Scratch that. His sense of annoyance had tripled.

“Yagi,” he muttered, “I am going to sue you so much.”

“What was that?” asked Hound Dog, looking away from the video feed displaying Eri-chan scarring Hero Commission agents for life in her undeniably cute way.

“Nothing,” muttered Vlad.

All for One paused in his assault of the vault door. He couldn’t help but feel like someone somewhere had said something unusually aggravating.

Ah, well. He had other things to worry about.

“Ah,” said Toshinori as one of Gigantomachia’s fists tore off the bumper of the rapidly reversing car. “Hm,” he continued as Shigaraki climbed out on the hood, grinning. “I think we should go, now.”

Izuku nodded. They could only hope to get far away enough away for Gigantomachia to be unable to hunt them down.

If they ran into any other problems…

Dabi paused as he heard quite a lot of noise from up ahead and rolled his eyes, ignoring how the movement pulled at his staples. The idiots had already started fighting Gigantomachia. Well. He didn’t want any part of that.

He changed directions. Hanging out in the woods it was, then.

Eh. It was good for him. Fresh (cold) air. Sunshine (sort of). Readily available reminders of why he hated his father.

Nature was great. If only he could burn it all down without blowing cover.

“Oh, no,” said a hapless technician.

“What?” asked the commission supervisor who’d brough the sample to the lab. “What is it? Is he related to the Scourge of Kamino?”

“Well,” squeaked the woman, her mousy ears twitching. “Yes. But I ran him through a few other databases as well, and…” she trailed off. “Well… The number of cross references in the hero database is staggering, but, of course, if he’s related to them, and to the other, well…”

The commission supervisor grabbed the edge of her monitor and twisted it around to face him. She watched the blood drain from his face and refrained from calling him out on his rudeness.

“Why,” he asked, “didn’t they run the Scourge of Kamino’s DNA through these databases?”

“I guess they didn’t think it was necessary?”

“Excuse me,” he said, “I have to make a few calls.”

“You want us to attack the League of Villains now?” asked Hawks, frowning. “You’ve had me following them around for weeks, and you want us to go in now, with next to no preparation? We don’t even know if the rest of the League is with Dabi.”

What had they found out from Midoriya’s blood sample? Had it turned out the way Dabi had expected.

Was Midoriya Izuku the son of All for One?

“Alright, alright,” he said in response to his handler. He sighed deeply, leaning back to better look at the sky. “But even I’m going to need a couple hours to get everything together and start coordinating with other heroes. I’m—Sir, I really don’t think I’m going to be able to take them all on just with myself and my sidekicks. Midoriya probably isn’t with them to begin with—I’m not questioning you, sir. I just don’t understand our objective in attacking them now. Why are we rushing? It seems counterpro—Yes, sir.” The line beeped loudly as it disconnected.

Well. All this had been a monumental waste of time.

It also boded ill for Midoriya. It sounded as if he’d become an even greater target than before, and considering that the commission had been labeling him a villain even before testing his DNA… Something bigger than being related to All for One must have come out. Something that had scared the commission. Something they would scrap their stealth- and intelligence-based plan for dealing with the League for. Something they wanted gone. Locked away with Midoriya.

Hawks couldn’t imagine what that could be. Maybe he was related to All Might? Or Endeavor? All Might wouldn’t be bad, he was never publicly in a relationship, but then he’d always been private about his personal life. But Endeavor… that’d be a scandal and a half.

But, if either of those were the case, why were they so sure he’d be with the League of Villains? It didn’t make sense. Unless… Unless Midoriya wasn’t the only one related to All for One.

At least they weren’t asking him to kill the kid. The mission was capture.

Which meant that Hawks had to come up with some way of letting an injured and probably exhausted teenager and a severely disabled old man escape without looking like he was letting them escape. Or looking like an incompetent idiot. Again. Because he wasn’t about to bring Midoriya in under circumstances this shady. Maybe before, when he thought it was just trumped-up kidnapping charges, but with this uncertainty…

Commission lackey or not, Hawks was still a hero. Sometimes that meant he put aside personal feelings for the good of society, and sometimes it meant that he ignored orders so a minor wouldn’t be indefinitely imprisoned at a commission black site.

Fun times.

He sighed and gathered in his feathers, angling down into a dive. Time to get to work.

Ochako kept seeing things out of the corners of her eye. Shadow in the shape of people, in the shape of children. Stains on the walls.

The hallways were scrupulously clean. Spotless. Empty. Brightly lit.

Todoroki had mentioned smelling smoke a few times and had started gagging for no reason once or twice. Iida kept twitching as if he had heard something. Aizawa appeared unaffected, but Ochako could see the way he gripped his capture weapon and the rigidness of his spine.

Izuku looked resigned.

“Did they really—” started Iida.

“Yes,” said Izuku. “Almost certainly.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Todoroki.

“You’re only getting fragments of Three’s memories, since she’s suppressing this,” said Izuku. “But…” He twitched, slightly. “It’s going to get worse the farther we go. The places she was in…” His voice was soft, sing-song, not quite entirely there.

“Izuku?”

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m focusing on something else outside.”

“Please tell me you aren’t fighting pro heroes again,” said Aizawa.

“No, I’m escaping from the League of Villains right now.”

“How?”

“Mm. Great question. I’ll tell you how it goes later, if it works.”

“That’s not what I—”

An ear-splitting, bone-chilling scream filled the air, making everyone flinch and clench. Something crackled overhead.

“Incident response team to hallway C. Code Blue.”

More screaming. This time, Ochako had a better idea of where it was coming from, and it seemed like everyone else, did, too.

They ran past classrooms that were alternately empty and full of shadow people, past soulless dormitory rooms stuffed with bunk beds, past cells and rooms Ochako didn’t even want to think about.

A pair of dark-skinned girls stood in the hallway, one holding a bloody hand to her throat, the other baring her teeth. The lights flickered. Dimmed.

The girls were gone by the time the lights came back on.

The hallway they were in was full of operating theaters, complete with lights over the door. Ochako felt sick.

But she was used to dealing with nausea. She took a deep breath and swallowed.

“What now?” she asked. The quaver in her voice was barely audible.

“Now…” Aizawa turned slowly in place. “We’re trying to find where they met Ryuji.”

“Two,” said Izuku, nodding.

“So, the most likely place for that…” He trailed off. “The most likely place for that is in the… residential areas.” He sounded disgusted with himself for referring to a prison with such bland terms.

“We passed something like that,” said Todoroki, quietly.

“Right,” said Aizawa. “Let’s go.”

The way back was much more… crowded. The memories were more tangible. Ochako quickly taught herself not to look in any of the rooms. Not that it helped much with what they saw in the halls themselves.

Izuku’s distraction only grew worse as they went further. He kept trying to follow, or sometimes fight, the memory ghosts.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “Focusing on something else.”

“Just don’t die on us, problem child.”

“We’re doing okay,” said Izuku.

This was, of course, when the facility’s alarm went off.

“Intruder alert. Intruder alert. Intruder alert.”

Izuku couldn’t hear the sound of the fight between the League and Machia anymore. This meant that either the fighting had stopped, or they had moved out of earshot.

Despite the League having a car (Vlad-sensei’s car) Izuku doubted that the fight had gotten all that far away.

Next to him, Toshinori winced. Izuku looked at him with concern, but Toshinori waved it off.

Izuku took a shaky breath.

They just had to keep going.

Twice had, perhaps predictably, backed the car up into a ditch, where, despite the amount of pressure he put on the accelerator, it stayed. Stuck. Perhaps forever.

All members of the League of Villains that were not crazy enough to crawl onto the outside of a moving car to fight a homicidal giant climbed out. All members, meaning a single member. A single member, ironically, being Twice.

At least he hadn’t been going very fast when he ran into the ditch.

“Everyone okay? –Of course, they’re not! You were in a car crash, idiots!”

“Come help us fight!” ordered Shigaraki. “We were in the middle of something, you know, stupid level boss! Keep having to save scum I hate you aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

Well, that wasn’t a good sign.

“Where’s Himiko?” he shouted.

“Over here, silly!” said the second Shigaraki, because, yeah. Twice had forgotten he hadn’t duplicated Shigaraki.

Man, he was dumb sometimes. It was great he had friends to help him with that!

He dove into the fight which, ever so slightly, ever so slowly, began to move away from the car.

Izuku’s head throbbed sharply, and he stumbled, Toshinori just managing to catch him before he faceplanted. Four and the other past users hissed at him from the back of his mind.

Someone’s coming. Hide.

They were in no condition for another fight.

Toshinori nodded sharply, and pulled Izuku aside, into some bushes. Izuku tried to breathe quietly but was painfully aware that both he and Toshinori were out of breath and raspy. Ragged. They’d been aiming for speed, not stealth, counting on the sounds of combat to cover them.

But if someone was out here—

Izuku smelled smoke. A branch snapped. He held his breath, despite the way his lungs longed for more oxygen. Had Dabi been in the car? Izuku hadn’t seen him. He hadn’t seen any blue fire. It wasn’t like Dabi to hold back.

A pair of black booted feet came into view.

“Well, well, what do we have here?”

They found Two standing in a hallway, surrounded by the bodies of soldiers. A small horde of shadow children clung to his legs.

When he laid eyes on Izuku, he sighed.

“Does the world ever give you a break?” he asked.

“Not that I’ve noticed,” said Izuku.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #fic #fanfic #long night in the valley

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skrebles · 4 years ago

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I read on the internet that you can help

My name is Anastasia P (I do not specify the last name, because in my city only my family with this last name. I don't want people to know what kind of family I grew up in and am in, because for me it's a shame) I live in Russia, Vladivostok. I appeal to you for help. My story is described in this letter. Sorry it's too long, I hope it doesn't take up too much of your time. Please read it. Please let me know if you can help me.

I am 33 years old, single, no children. I grew up in a family where my father is an alcoholic. He beat my mother when he was drunk, didn't touch me or my brother, and treated us well, but during a binge he spends all his money on alcohol. When he was 40, he committed suicide. Half a month later, another brother appeared. I have 2 more brothers from the same father and a free brother. The composition of the family is as follows: mother 53 years, I 33 years, brother 30 years, brother 21 years, half-brother 13 years (age specified at the moment). We live in a 2-room apartment (1 bedroom and 1 living room) privatized apartment (own, for 5 owners, i.e. 1/5 parts for each owner). My mother was always cold to us, especially to me. Raised her hand (beat) for any offense and without a reason, when she was in a bad mood. Humiliated. Sometimes my mother treated me and my brothers normally (she treats her younger half-brother much better), but it was not clear what could make her angry. When my brother appeared (now he is 21 years old) I was 11.5 years old, and I understood that I needed to help my mother, I liked to mess with him. This allowed her mother to work part-time, and her grandmother also helped her financially. In 2005, there was one case that finally there was a split with my mother (I'm not ready to write about it). In 2006, my mother started drinking. I met a man from Uzbekistan through my drinking friend. He quickly came to live with us. My brother (21 years old) was almost abandoned, he was then 7 years old. I was working on my little brother. The mother and her roommate were constantly fighting. In 2007, the mother gave birth to a half-brother. I began to drink even more, but at the same time I worked. All lasted until 2013, when my body broke down and I was diagnosed with eczema, put me in the hospital (hospitalized), but I agreed that I would not be in the hospital and will come to the procedure, and I'll be home to do the procedures because I didn't want to bring the work and its Director, because it was new year period and had a lot of work. I told my mother that her roommate would no longer live with us. I was tired of enduring scandals, standing between them when he came at her with a knife, I was ashamed in front of the neighbors. After that, my mother drank for several days. I asked my uncle (my mother's brother) and my brother (30 years old) to talk to her, but I didn't get home in time to start the conversation. When I came home, there was a terrible scandal, I had to call the police. My mother and We were taken to the police, and I filed a report against her. The mother on the next day, December 17, 2013, packed up her half-brother and went to live with her roommate. I left my brother (21 years old), who at that time was almost 15 years old for me. I didn't leave him any money, but a week later I transferred him 1,000 rubles ($33) . My brother received an allowance for the loss of the breadwinner (father), but for several months she did not give him the allowance, but only bought cheap food and when she saw that my brother on his own initiative began to write down how much she bought him food (pasta, rice, etc.), she freaked out and began to give him the allowance. She didn't give any money from herself. I pulled (provided) she took care of her brother's school, his admission to the university, and treated him when he was ill. I agreed with my brother (30 years old) that he would help, if anything, with buying clothes for my brother and paying for an apartment, because my mother did not pay. At that time, my brother (30 years old) he rented an apartment and lived separately. For all the time (almost 4 years), the mother gave her brother (21 years) 1000 rubles ($33) and 10,000 rubles ($142) and then after I told her everything that she does not participate in the life of her son, and at the same time tried to take his documents from school after the 9th grade (middle school), when he wanted to enter the 10th grade (high school), then to enter the military specialty. I did not apply to the guardianship authorities (social service for the protection of children), because I was afraid that my brother would be taken away from me. My mother and her roommate terrorized us several times, her roommate came and broke into the apartment, and I called the police and wrote a statement, but I didn't know where they lived, so the police couldn't do anything.In September 2017, her roommate was deported to her homeland and she returned home. She drinks and makes debauchery periodically, while working.

Brother (30 years old) I also started drinking alcohol somewhere in 2014 +/-, and since 2017 I started drinking alcohol heavily. This year, he goes on a binge for a month and has already terrorized all of us. He was kicked out of the last 2 apartments, periodically comes home and does not give rest. In June of this year, he wanted to bring his ex-wife to live with us, we said no. We have 2 rooms (1 bedroom and 1 living room), in one room my mother and stepbrother, and in the other room I am with my brothers. His ex-wife has a 3-room apartment (2 bedrooms and 1 living room) and she lives with her parents (she is an only child). He brought her to annoy us, he was drunk. I had to call the police, because he threatened violence, and I was afraid that my brother (21 years old) would not stand it and break down and beat his brother and this would put an end to his future career in the military. Then a week later in (throughout the week terrorized me and my mother) alcoholic brother came terrorized us for a couple of hours, left the keys, although asked not to leave and left. After 2 days in the evening, he came with his ex-wife, then his ex-mother-in-law (the mother of his ex-wife) drove up and they began to break into the apartment. His ex-wife and mother-in-law are very greedy for money and they pump them out of their brother, this is already said by 2 familiar brothers. His mother-in-law threatened me that she had connections in the FSB, that there were connections somewhere else, that I would have trouble at work, that my director would have trouble, etc. We called the police again, before that I talked to the district police officer and he sent a police officer on duty to us, but he said that everything was fine. After my alcoholic brother came to my mother at work, made a scandal, threatened to come to me, constantly terrorized, threatened, blackmailed and did not let me sleep, I could not turn off the phone, because then I would not know if he would come home or not, what to expect from him.. I once again asked the district police officer to talk to him, he reluctantly, but called him to himself and talked. He said that he does not provide a threat. The fact is that the alcoholic brother is disabled from birth, he has a skin disease, in 2014 he did not extend the disability and it was removed from him. He works for himself, he has connections, as he says, true or not I do not know what he does I do not know. I don't want to check if his threats are true. A few days after the conversation with the district police officer, he began to come out of the binge. A week later, he went to the doctor, who gave him an injection so that he would not drink alcohol. But my brother started drinking alcohol again a month later. After that, the doctor again gave him an injection and the brother did not last 2 weeks.

My brother, who is 21 years old, is worried about me, and I am afraid for him, because if his mother and brother get him, I am even afraid to think what will happen. I'm afraid he'll beat them if he can't stand it. We already went to lawyers and a realtor in the summer, learned how to sell the apartment in which we live, but everyone says that you need to negotiate with everyone (mother and brother alcoholics) and sell the whole apartment, and if you sell in parts, we will lose in price or not sell at all. My brother and I want to protect ourselves from our mother( who can also be considered an alcoholic) and our brother-an alcoholic, we do not want to become the same and will not do something, because it is impossible to live like this, and we have nowhere to go, this is the only place we have. We are even ready to go to live in a guest house (a small apartment), and so that nothing connects us with our alcoholic relatives, we want to break all ties with them. I have a small income ($250 per month), and my brother is studying at the university, he can not work, because a very tight study schedule and he will stop paying benefits. With such income, we can't buy an apartment or rent it. And we can not pay for a lawyer, so it is also difficult to find a good one who took up our business honestly. Please help us! I can't take it anymore, I can't take it anymore. I can't build a family, because I'm afraid to bring a person into such a family. I'm afraid for myself and my brother, who is the only person close to me, I put a lot of effort into him. I don't want him to become like a mother and an alcoholic brother. We are still normal among these alcoholics. That's just the psyche and nerves are not to hell already. If you can help financially with the purchase of an apartment, I will be very grateful. An apartment in our city costs $67916,5. I don't know who to turn to anymore. I'm ashamed to ask for help. I am ashamed if people I know find out that my relatives are alcoholics and in general about my problem. If you have received my letter, please write a reply. Even if your answer is no.We can no longer live in threats, psychological pressure and drunken scandals

fundly.com/help-me-buy-an-apartment-to-get-away-from-alcoholic-relative

#mydreambig #helpme

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volturialice · 5 years ago

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I have eczema too do you have any tips on dealing with it?

ooooof. ok content warning for discussion of Gross Things and injuries and lowkey self-harm below the cut

so. I grew up with like, SEVERE severe eczema. as in, huge open sores all over my arms, legs, hands, feet, and sometimes neck/face/ears. ones that never went away. my quality of life was…not great, lol. I frequently got staph and other infections, I had to wear long pants and long sleeves at all times, it hurt to shower or bathe or swim and salt water was RIGHT out, people avoided me because my appearance grossed them out, and still other people (frequently adults and teachers) saw the injuries and assumed I was self-harming, which. I mean, the scabs were itchy as fuck, and I frequently scratched them open (gross gross GROSS and yet I still did it!) so in that sense it sometimes…was? but was also a very involuntary and physiological medical condition, so when people who didn’t know me told me it was self-harm that felt horribly dismissive of my feelings and agency. (like…to this day I still couldn’t tell you if it was self-harm. maybe it was part self-harm and part medical condition, I have no idea.) basically it was a lot of discomfort, a lot of pain (to this day I have a freakishly high pain tolerance) and a lot of gargantuan struggles with self-esteem, body image, and social stuff.

people (including many doctors) also told me I would “grow out of it.”

I did not. some people do, but like. come on asshole that’s not a fucking solution, you expect me to sit here covered in scabs until puberty maybe fixes everything? shut the fuck up steven

what happened to me was that my mom is a fucking terminator who did tons of research and eventually, through sheer persistence, got me in to see one of the best dermatologists in the area. this guy took one look at me and went, “yeah, you need UV treatments.” so that is what I got, for about 2.5 years during middle school—basically went twice a week to get zapped by an upright tanning booth. sometimes had sunburn in the dead of winter. it was weird (and it isn’t for everyone because there is of course the risk of skin cancer), but it eventually worked on all but two areas: my right hand and left foot. took another year of trying to treat those two places with medicated bandages and shit before they finally gave up and injected steroids directly into my hand and foot, which hurt like a biiiiiiitch but worked within weeks.

so that was pretty much my Eczema Journey. by high school, I had gone from walking around bleeding all over the place (seriously, jasper would’ve killed my delicious ass SO FAST, what the fuck is a papercut lol bella get on my level) to having a pretty good quality of life, my eczema reduced to “irritating dry skin.”

today, 1/9/20, to take stock, I have:

gross dry hands because it’s flu season and I’ve been washing them a lot

perpetually chapped lips

one (1) cut on the corner of my lip that has been there since december and refuses to heal ugh

which is like absolutely nothing to me, I spend every day so grateful that my skin has been basically fixed and now does its one (1) job of holding my blood and guts in

before I was Cured, there were a couple of things dermatologists had me do that might help you

…they didn’t always help me but here they are

1. mineral oil baths. they are gross but they will leave you feeling like a snail (effervescent) or a greased pig, or a p*rn star because you’re covered in slippry slime lmao. it’s supposed to help form a barrier to protect your skin? idk man sometimes these made me itchier but I’m just one person

2. chlorine bleach baths—please note that this means A TINY AMOUNT OF BLEACH diluted in water, not a bath in 100% bleach lol fucking ow. these are good for killing bacteria and preventing staph infections, etc.

3. going to the pool. same deal as the bleach bath, the chlorine kills bacteria.

4. get some sun. UV rays in the right amount are good for eczema, as my particular case proves. but like, don’t get skin cancer. it’s a balancing act.

things I still do now that I’m Cured

…and have a normal, manageable level of eczema (some of these are no-brainers but idk your life so bear with me)

1. moisturize constantly. I never leave the house without a travel-size tube of moisturizer. I moisturize every morning, every night, and as needed throughout the day. this requires keeping a giant thing of moisturizer by my bed like some kind of gross h*ntai-addicted teen boy, but whatever that’s a sacrifice I have to make

2. ALWAYS moisturize after getting wet in a pool/shower/etc. like, within minutes. PAT your skin dry, don’t rub, and then moisturize immediately.

3. but also? don’t get affected areas wet that often if you can help it. take sponge baths rather than showers sometimes, or shower in cooler water. when it comes to avoiding washing your hands without spreading Spanish Influenza et al, hand sanitizer is your friend.

5. use a generic, non-cosmetic moisturizer. I can’t stress this enough. I am currently not on any prescriptions, which means I get my stuff over the counter. but my skin will absolutely not tolerate ANYTHING with any kind of cosmetic-y chemicals that make it Smell Nice or whatever. no aveeno, no neutrogena*, no…see I don’t even know what other brands are because I don’t use any of them. brands I use: cetaphil and cerave, and that’s IT. this goes for shower gel and other skin products, too! basically, the less Fancy and nice-smelling something is, the better it probably is for your skin.

*the one exception is neutrogena’s “sensitive skin” sunblock. that is the only sunblock I’ve found that doesn’t irritate my skin. is good.

6. same deal as #5 when it comes to laundry detergent. most brands will irritate your skin, so look for something labeled “sensitive skin” or “free and clear,” etc.

7. fabric softener bad. do not use

8. for lips, I’ve heard aquaphor is good. hasn’t really worked for me, I just use regular chapstick and apply it like every 5 minutes. dermatologists have also recommended I use vaseline, but I don’t like to feel slimy (see #1a)

9. not to sound like a Live Laugh Love insta influencer, but stay hydrated! it’s extra important if you suffer from eczema. people aren’t kidding when they say it’s good for your skin.

10. kind of an obvious one, but if you have allergies, avoid the stuff you’re allergic to. ‘twill cause flare-ups.

11. try not to sweat. which isn’t to say, like, “don’t exercise ever,” but be ready to rinse off with fresh water and then moisturize immediately after you sweat.

so yeah, that’s my whole spiel. think I covered everything! but of course, different things work for different people. if anyone else has tips, feel free to comment with them!

#asks #anonymous #not twilight #life of g #injury mention //#self-harm mention //#eczema stuff

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iamjjmmma · 5 years ago

Text

tldr: I have bpd. (Loong text ahead)

Note: All names have been changed for privacy.

I never like to open up about mental health. Not only is it messy- it's also degrading. But this is an exception.

So I'm going to lay it out for you. Right here, right now.

I have borderline personality disorder.

I'm telling you because, unlike with so many other things about me, you deserve to know this. And the way I got my diagnosis was long, narrow, and harrowing. So get comfy.

Of all things, it all started with a death. About a month ago, a family friend who wasn't any older than three or four died. My entire family was devastated, but for seemingly no reason, I seemed to be the one who cried the most, who felt the most heartbroken. Not even my cousins, who were closer to her, cried this much. Of course, my sister noticed and encouraged me to get myself into grief counseling. I love my sister more than anyone else in the whole wide world, so it didn't take long before I was booking my first appointment with a Catholic counselor 45 minutes away who knew me ever since I was little.

"Hey there, Sk3ltal. Something seem to be a problem?

" I get angry. I'm in your office, I think. How the hell would there NOT be a problem? I think. But over five years of this kind of anger gives you a kind of knack for brushing it off as hormonal and pretending your fine.

"Well, Manuela...something does seem to be a problem. Somebody...close to me died. And she was young..."

At this point, I'm bursting into tears. I wonder why. I get the "oh, honey, it's okay" treatment. She gives me a hug, offers me all the tissues I need, even lets me hold her dog if I can get past the fact that he's just about as still as a blast of wind. Thirty seconds later, I'm fine again.

"Manuela, I want to make sure that I'm fine. That it's not grief and just sadness. I want to know how not to lose it in public. Because I feel crazy."

Manuela bites her lip. "Grief does make the most ordinary people act like insane asylum patients, no?"

A week later, I'm back in her office. By now, it's almost the end of September. And something"s eating at me. For the first time in my sixteen years, a movie not only humanized the villian, but made me relate to her. Relate to her enough to do this. BPD. Only heard about it once or twice before. Asked my mom if I had it, then she laughed and said it was just me being a teenager and that yes, crying four times a day and slamming the door EVERY TIME YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO was completely normal.

So was the scratches on my skin I convinced my parents was "wicked eczema", and so was me pulling out my hair and banging my head against solid objects. And now, people were talking about how a movie character had it, and how many symptoms she exhibited. Suddenly, hunger for knowledge reached out its hands. I wanted to know.

Could it be I had this? And what was it?

Manuela was a little concerned, but considering I was getting bored as usual in her office, she let me take the questionnaire. Five minutes pass by, half of which I spent taking the quiz. And I think the moment I saw her face turn pale was the minute things started to fall apart and go back into place, all at the same time. "Honey, I...you're positive." ...

Of course, I wasn't diagnosed right then and there. I had to make sure I could point it back to a specific event when it started- in this case, what happened when I was ten between my childhood best friend and i; she ghosted me, and i haven’t heard a word from her since- so they couldn't blame it on my "womanly teenage hormones" (yes, I was telling the truth; the event just helped to rule out those hormones). My family and close friends, whatever the hell the last one was, were interviewed. When my dad was interviewed, I could feel his face turn pale this time as he whispered, "Oh, my God. You just described my kid. Something's wrong with my kid."

Next was a rudimentary physical with my family practitioner. to make sure nothing physical, other than me being a teenager, could be causing the symptoms. When the doctor said "nothing's wrong other than what you keep on seeing me for so far", my heart didn't sink. I didn't feel anything. The diagnosis was made official a short time later, but I didn't feel anything then either. And that's, ironically, a huge part of borderline personality disorder.

Borderline personality disorder, to flaunt it in a more colorful way, is your mind constantly being fucked by a tornado of emotion while the borderline, which is what the disorder is named after, obtains a corporeal form and joins in the fuckery to create a massive threesome. Four if you count Lonely, my friend in the back.

Getting my diagnosis may havw been one of the most quietly difficult things I've ever done.

There's the fact that some mental health professionals are afraid with those with borderline personality disorder, or think it's completely impossible for children or adolescents to have it. If not for the relationship Manuela and I already had, I most likely would have been misdiagnosed again. On to the misdiagnoses, which are staggeringly common in those with borderline personality disorder. I was diagnosed...

-three times with some type of anxiety

-twice with PTSD

-once with bulimia

-accused hundreds of times of being demonically possessed because of my "temper". that priest now knows better.

But now to the real criteria. There's nine of them, and to be diagnosed, you need to get at least five.

-Abandonment issues

This was the biggie. It was almost like I grew up, then regressed. This all started when I was eleven, and my mind would switch from being 4 to being the 11 year old I was. I have too many stories of me being left alone for a ridiculously insignificant amount of time, then me acting like a scared toddler in solitary confinement about it. The time at the high school when I got locked in the bathroom. The time I got left in the car for 5 minutes and almost broke the door trying to get out. There's so many more, but this one, I think, takes the cake.

I was twelve. They had the house childproofed because of my sister, who was 7 at the time and had autism, so she tended to be grabbier than then average bear. The acting out was at its peak back then, and my parents made the mistake of putting me in time-out by locking me in my bedroom for five minutes.

What happened next was almost indescribable. Imagine the outright terror the character in the movie feels when he or she is stranded and realizes they're utterly alone. No one will come to save them. No one. The helicopter they came in is empty. The island always has, and always is, empty. Or imagine the terror you felt at school during that one time it WASN'T a drill. Now multiply that feeling by about sixty. I was nothing more than an animal that day. I screamed.

"LET ME OUT OF HERE!" "SOMEBODY HELP ME!" "DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!" "I DON'T WANNA DIE HERE!". Bang, bang, bang, bang, BANG, BANG.

My parents always tell me that I would've beat that damn door down had they not gotten me out. They open the door. I practically jump on them to hug them. They bump me off, and while I'm not hurt, it's not like that made me feel any better, either.

"What is your problem, young lady?! Can't we leave you alone for five minutes? How are you going to be able to be an adult and be like this?"

Tears poured down my face. I didn't know.

Hell, I still don't know.

-"Borderline" way of thinking when it comes to relationships...always seeing others as either perfect angels or a bucket of nasty-ass toxic waste.

-Self-harm.

No, I don't cut myself. that's the stereotype, although there's people I know who self harm in this way. I didn't know what it was called or what I was going.

but all I knew was that I was relieving whatever tension I had, even if it meant hurting myself. I quickly learned how to keep it hidden, and that was by realizing the millions of nerves on the surface of my skin and how that would cause pain without much overall damage. so I scratched myself. and scratched. and scratched. and scratched. pulling my hair was also a good option. if I feel really crummy, I start to bang my head into solid objects or bend one of my bones, although not enough to break it.

at first, it was to transfer emotional pain into physical pain so I wouldn't have to feel it emotionally anymore.

and it's still that now, to an extent. except it's more about controlling my anger and not letting it show in public, instead keeping it chained to my skin. and I'm sorry if this sounds emo or cringy, but it's true.

now, it's turned into an impulse.

-unstable relationships.

my friends can all tell you that I love them dearly, more than the vast majority of the people they know. and they also know that I'm also more prone to lashing out or doing things in the relationship that don't make sense, like purposefully ignoring texts and phone calls for a day.

-shifting self-image.

what I wanted to be when I grew up was sometimes as fickle as the time of day. I wanted to be an actor during one point in my childhood. it consumed my everything, kept me from eating, from sleeping. and at another short point, I know wanted to be a singer.

in the course of one particular year, I wanted to be a nun, then an author, then an engineer, then a truck driver, then a nurse, then a teacher. it was ridiculous,

and all happening during a period where the education system expected me to decide what I wanted to be.

and what about who I was? was I a girl? a boy? young? old? the best Catholic there was? a solid atheist?

I have my 5. there's more, but I don't want to share it all, at least right now. and most of it is actually because the program I'm using to type this is really shitty when it comes to saving huge chunks of text lol.

Treatment:

I've started therapy. So far, both Manuela and I are still researching BPD so none of us are blind to stigma. However, there's a long road ahead of me, and a road I most likely wouldn't even consider taking if it weren't for my love for my sister (which I'm begging is genuine and not just a product of my mental illness). Finding a medication will be tough, seeing as there's no official medicine for BPD but so far, for the first time, I can feel the "BPD me" fading away when I drink tea with ginseng (a mood stabilizer).

getting "better" from BPD, or at least working to alleviate the symptoms, requires just that: work. lots of patience, persistence, and just lots and lots of hard damn work.

it'll take us getting rid of societal stigmas and working through the root causes, which unfortunately I can't just be "taken away from" as with those whose BPD diagnoses came while they were still living in broken homes.

And the worst part of it all is that I still love my best friend.

#Bpd #mental illness #diagnosis story

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sashatrr · 5 years ago

Text

Breathe with me. Chapter 16a

Chapter 15 here

Liam's jet landed in private section of airport. Holding hands, they left jet and got into waiting car.

-So where are we? - Lina asked. She asked Liam about where they were going a few times during a flight but he said that she will find out upon arrival.

-Where do you think we are? - Liam asked with teasing smile.

Lina shrugged.

-How should I know? All airports are looking the same.

-We are in Brussels. - Liam said pulling her close.

-Belgium? - Lina asked disappointed. She thought that he will take her to Paris or Italy. Both countries fitted for romantic trip, but Belgium? She didn't know much about that country and couldn't recall anything romantic about it.

Liam nodded with a smile, her reaction didn't surprise him.

-Yes, but we are not staying in Brussels. We will drive to Antwerp from here. It's not far.

-I know nothing about Belgium so I trust you with it.

Rest of not long drive passed in comfortable conversation. Liam was telling Lina about his childhood and his brother, Leo.

He was getting relaxed more and more around Lina now. For once he felt like a normal man doing normal things with the woman he loved, even if he wasn't ready to admit it to her. He was really excited to spend as much time as he could with her and to forget, at least for some time, about everything that would come after the end of his so called honeymoon.

Upon arriving to the hotel, they ordered a room service, both exhausted after a long flight. Lina was nervous during all flight, expecting plane to crash any moment and Liam was doing his best to calm her down and distract from those thoughts. After dinner both quickly fell asleep in each others arms.

Next morning they woke up early and after breakfast left the hotel. Liam was wearing sunglasses everywhere to make sure that nobody would recognize him.

First they visited an old looking train station. It didn't really interest Lina. It was nice looking, gold and marble but Lina was never into architecture. Noticing her indifference, Liam laughed.

-Just had to start here. No trip to Antwerp is complete without seeing this building.

Holding hands, they left the building and headed to a stone gates. Next seven hours they spent investigating the oldest zoo in Europe. It made Lina sick to see all those animals trapped, even tho their voliers were comfortable and they seemed to be well taken care of.

-Nope, not doing this.-Lina shook her head trying to break out of Liam's hold. - I am already exhausted, I need coffee and to sit down.

Liam was trying to get in the long line of people wanting to watch seals show.

They headed to the exit and to the street filled with jewellery shops and sat at the table of closest cafe.

-Just one more destination today, baby.

Liam saw it in her behavior, he failed to impress her so far so he was counting on new promising idea that appeared in his mind.

After finishing their coffees, Liam lead Lina to the golden entrance of jewellery store.

-Did you know that Antwerp is a diamond capital of the world? - Liam asked walking through doors into the store. - We can visit diamond museum tomorrow if you want.

-I don't think that I ever heard about Antwerp at all, Liam. - Lina chuckled.-To be honest, I pictured other destinations when you offered trip to Europe.

-Paris and Venice? - He asked stopping by one of showcases.

Lina nodded and looked at showcase that was filled with necklaces and matching earrings.

A man hurried over to them.

-Goedemiddag. Kan ik u helpen?-a man asked subtly observing Liam to see if he was a potential client or just a tourist who happened to walk into the store.

-Goedemiddag. - Liam replied. - Can we speak English please? A lady here with me doesn't speak vlaams.

Man's smile grew even wider.

-Off course. Let me know if you are looking for anything special. Not everything is on a display. We keep the most precious masterpieces in the office.-salesman said after noticing Liam's Patek Philippe.

Despite Liam's attempt to look like a normal tourist, some things were still giving away his true status.

-Danku, meneer. We will let you know if we need you.-Liam dismissed him and turned his attention back to Lina who seemed to be captivated by the beauty of platinum diamond necklace and earrings and didn't hear a word from this conversation.

-Do you like this one? - Liam asked leaning closer to check the stones.

Not averting her gaze from necklace, Lina slid her hand down the glass.

-It's beautiful-she replied admiring the purity and simple elegance of it.

-Then we are getting it, but I would also like to check their office for more exclusive things.

-Are you going to buy it? - Lina gasped in surprise.

-Off course, why else would we come here? I would walk to the end of the world and back right now to make you happy.-he said and placed a gentle kiss on Lina's lips.

Lina returned a kiss wrapping hands around his neck.

-Well, then you need to find another way to make me happy. I can't wear any jewellery.

Liam pulled back confused.

-What do you mean? Off course you can.

Lina laughed.

-No, I can't. I did it back in New York because I didn't want to ruin our night, but I have an ekzema. My skin was dealing with the consequences of it for next weeks.

-Eczema? What's that? - confused Liam asked.

-I am not sure how to explain it. It's kind of allergy, I get it every time when my skin gets in contact with any metal for longer than twenty minutes. That includes gold, silver and platinum.

-You can't be real, Lin. Is there no cure for it? I mean how am I supposed to spoil you if you are allergic to eighty eight percent of the best gifts I can come up with? - Liam made disappointed face.

-You'll have to be creative then. - Lina laughed teasingly.

-You are just making it up, admit it. - His face became grumpy.

-No, I am not. I promise you.

-We still can get it and you can look at it sometimes? - Liam came up with new idea.

-Really? What's the use of having it if I will never put it on? Sounds like a torture.-Lina took his hand, nodded to salesman and dragged him to the street.

She didn't lie to Liam about eczema and right now she was grateful for having it. Despite growing closer with each other over past few days, Liam's lifestyle was intimidating to her. Traveling in private jet, luxurious cars and hotels and now diamonds. None of the things on display had a price tag but Lina knew that she would probably have to save for the rest of her life just to buy one earring from that set and she wasn't comfortable with this idea.Everything seemed to much, she couldn't explain it but she felt that sooner or later Liam would think that she is being with him for all that and not for himself.

I never asked for any of it but I know how does it look. I wish he would stop doing this. It just highlights the fact that we belong to different worlds. Maybe I should be honest about it?

Rest of the day they spent in the hotel learning more about each other's lives. Liam told Lina about death of his mother and lack of real family in his life, about very busy father who rarely had time for him and his brother. Lina told him about death of her parents in car accident when she was only three years old and about growing up with her aunt and uncle. They didn't have kids of their own and pour all love they had on Lina. She had a happy childhood any kid could dream about, her aunt and uncle made sure to give her all attention they could and did everything possible to replace her parents. Despite being very close with them, Lina refused to live with them after college or to accept any financial help. They did enough for her including paying for her education and making sure that she has everything she needs during college years. Accepting their help after college would make her a failure.

Next day they spent exploring rest of the city center. They spent a few hours in Rubens House. Only there Lina understood a difference between looking at reproductions and originals.

-Look at this. - Lina pointed at the painting that was hanging over an old fireplace that was used for kitchen needs back in the days. - It looks like 3d. How were they doing back then? And the lights!- only now she understood how touching and amazing a painting can be. No reproductions could ever show the true genius of a master, and certainly not images she could see on Internet.

On the second floor Lina spent twenty minutes by another painting that was picturing Queen Isabella and Ferdinand during their daily walk. Everything on it was very small but every small thing was drawn very detailed.

-How did they do it?-Lina asked again. - Did they use microscopes? Did they even exist back then? Really, I would go blind just after drawing half of it.

Liam tried to explain her the technics of old masters but her attention already was on antique locker, every small door of which was beautifully painted with scenes from nature.

In the next room there was a very small bed, draped with canopy.

-See this? - Liam pointed at bed. - That's how they slept back then.

Confused Lina looked at very short bed.

-But how did they manage to lay in it?

-They didn't lay, they were half sitting in it. See bunch of pillows? They literally slept sitting in bed and resting on those.-he explained.

-Carving is so pretty. - Lina almost whispered.

-Rubens was a businessman as much as he was an artist. - Liam explained. - He was a rich man as you can see. Most of the things we see here, in his house, are an art by itself and there was a very small circle of people who could afford them.

After seeing all expositions, hand in hand they walked in the small garden, Lina snapped a few pictures of Liam and they continued their tour of the city.

Very narrow sidewalks were filled with tables that were standing very close to each other. Despite lack of space, lots of people were sitting in those cafes, all facing the street and looking at passing by people. They were sitting so close to each other that Lina wondered how they can have any privacy at all. That reminded her of theaters. They all were sitting there like in the theater, almost touching each other, a street was their stage and people who were passing by were their actors.

Liam and Lina walked through this street and came to the square with a huge, gothic looking church.

-Onze Lieve Vrouwekathedraal. - Liam pointed at it. - Cathedral of Our Lady of Antwerp. - He explained.- We should definitely go inside. Rubens and a few other famous artists created their masterpieces especially for it.

They waited for guid of Chinese tourist group to show their tickets and Liam bought two for himself and Lina.

Inside the building seemed even bigger than from outside. Ceiling seemed to be over ten meters in height and the stained glass windows were filling a hall with a lots of light.

-I wonder how long did it take them to build it? - Lina quietly asked looking up at the ceiling and columns that were holding it.

-It's still unfinished. - Liam replied. - But normally it took forty years or more to build something like this if we look at Rome for example.

They walked to a wooden stairs standing apart and leading nowhere. Lina looked closer. It was beautifully carved but a center of composition were four female figures.

-Those are representing four races.-Liam commented.

They walked to a huge three pieces paintings hanging on a distance from each other. Even now, centuries after it was created, it didn't lose its beauty.

Cathedral was filled with tourists but a small area behind columns was fenced and a Priest led service for a small group of parishioners.

Lina was amazed by the beauty of altar and everything else she saw around.

They spent a hour exploring cathedral, statues and paintings until it was a closing time.

They walked through crowded street to the small square surrounded by buildings and sculpture fountain in the corner.

-This square has a secret. - Liam slyly grinned. - Let's see if you can find it.

Lina looked around but saw nothing special. A building Infront of her was impressive but still nothing caught her attention.

Liam stood on the fence of statue and reached his hand out. Lina grabbed it and stood next to him.

-You might see it better from here. - He grinned again watching her confusion.

-Would you give me a hint for what I am looking for or are we going to spend rest of the day here? Because I see nothing.-Lina said a bit irritated. She was tired already after whole day of walking and wouldn't mind a dinner right now. She wasn't a best person to be around when she was hungry.

- Card suits. - Liam decided to show some mercy remembering how confused he was when he was looking for it for a first time.

Lina looked around in all dirrctions, at all buildings but saw nothing that would look like card suits. After three minutes of ineffective search she gave up.

-I see nothing. Can we just get a dinner already? I can survive without finding it.-she almost barked. Her stomach was demanding food and not card suits.

Liam laughed and wrapped an arm around her waist pointing at tiles on the ground. She saw nothing at first but then one by one groups of tiles formed a heart, diamond, club and spade.

-Wow, amazing. Now my life is complete. Can we go now? - she got off the fence.

-Wow you are really hungry, no kidding. OK, let me think where should we have a dinner. I have a restaurant in mind but we need to change in the hotel first.

-Yeah, right. - Lina growled, grabbed Liam's hand and drag him to the cafe on the empty narrow street around the corner she noticed on their way to the square. She stopped by one of two cute looking tables under a tent and sat down. - I don't need a fancy restaurant, I just need to urgently fill my stomach.

Liam shook his head in amusement trying to suppress a smile and not to provoke her. Hungry and angry Lina still was charming.

A smiling waiter brought them two menus but Liam declined it.

-Hello-he said-do you have stoverij met frietjes? - he asked with polite smile.

Waiter nodded.

-Certainly, meneer.

-Very well, two stoverijes, Westmalle for me and Delirium for mijn vrouw.-

Waiter nodded and walked back inside.

-What did you order? Maybe I won't like it. I could honestly go for a burger right now.-Lina snapped.

-Don't worry, it won't take long. It's one of Belgian national dishes and a cherry beer. You should try it at least once. - He replied

-What did you call me?-she asked. Lina couldn't repeat it even if her life would depend on that.

Liam wrinkled his forehead trying to recall his order.

-Mijn vrouw? - Lina nodded.- It means my woman if to translate it literally, but also has a different meanings.

Lina pulled a phone out of her bag and opened Facebook.

-What are you doing, baby?- Liam asked.

-Checking the news. - Lina replied not averting her gaze from the phone.

-That's not very polite. I am right here and we could spend this time in conversation. - Liam pointed out.

-Nope, I need to kill some time and to keep my mind occupied until i have my food. - she said and began to read posts chucking to herself sometimes.

It was a new experience for Liam. Normally his dates would try to intrigue him and to spend every second charming him. But it was obvious for him that Lina got used to spending her days with him, it became natural for her and to his surprise, it felt natural for him as well.

Ten minutes later waiter brought them their order and Lina rushed to eat it.

-Ouch-she swallowed hard a first bite not feeling the taste.-Hoooot.-she moaned waving her hands to cool burned mouth.

Liam laughed.

-Slow down, nobody will steal it. - He said dipping a frie into stoverij sauce and sending it to his mouth.

Lina frowned but slowed down and found herself enjoying taste of the food. After finishing she sipped her beer.

-That's a good one. - she said relaxing into her chair and making a few more sips of fruity beer.-Can I have another one?

-Careful, baby. It's called Delirium for a reason. - Liam said with a teasing smile.

-Nothing will happen from two beers, Liam.

He ordered another round but even before waiter brought it, Lina felt lightheaded, her head was spinning a bit. She let out a silly chuckle.

- So good. I was really hungry.

-Ha, no kidding. I thought that you are going to murder me if I don't feed you In time.

Lina finished second beer, her cheeks were burning, eyes shining. She moved her chair to the other side of the table next to Liam and laid back. Liam rested his arm on the back of her sea and captured her lips with his.

A kiss was becoming more and more passionate.

-I want you, now. - she said into his mouth feeling his erection through pants with her hand.

Liam growled and abruptly stood up. He took a fifty euro bill out of the wallet, threw it on the table and pulled Lina out of the chair.

-Hotel, now. - Liam said in low voice dragging her down the street.

Next chapter

@indiacater @annekebbphotography @drakesensworld @hopefulmoonobject @jared2612 @carabeth @dcbbw

#the royal romance #trr #trr liam #choices trr #choices fanfiction #choices liam x mc #liam x mc #trr liam x mc #Breathe With Me

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phalloplastytime · 5 years ago

Text

Phalloplasty Consultation with Dr. Chen & Dr. Watt

Here is what I remember from my experience going through my consultation with Dr. Chen from GU Recon (his private practice) and Dr. Watt from the Buncke clinic in San Francisco, CA, USA. My apologies for the length, I wanted this to feel kind of immersive for those of us still in the waiting process because stuff like this helped me. Also - small content warning I do use a couple anatomical terms.

For those of you unfamiliar, Dr. Chen is a urologist and Dr. Watt is a microsurgeon.

My partner and I traveled down to San Francisco to stay for two nights. We flew in on Thursday evening and flew out on Saturday evening, not wanting to be gone for too long and rack up even more expense on the hotel bill. If I had planned ahead several months ago, I would have tried to stay at the Quest House during this time but I didn’t realize a short stay was potentially possible.

We are fortunate to be able to use the public transit system offered in SF, which is pretty good in my opinion. They have buses, trolleys (cable cars?), and an underground/train system. We utilized this to make our way over to Castro street, where the medical office building and also the hospital are located.

Without any plans for the day we went ahead and headed over about 3 hours early because I had seen that there was a dog park right nearby. We sat and watched local dogs come and play and have a break in the middle of the day and we ended up meeting an older gentleman whose dog wouldn’t leave us alone asking for pets. It was pretty great, and nicely calming as I was pretty nervous before the consultation. We then got some food at the local cafe on the corner. It was actually pretty good.

We realized we still had time to kill so we decided to hike up the hill to the Buena Vista park where we looked out over the city and rested for a bit. There’s a path that has some disturbingly friendly squirrels on it.

About 30 minutes before my appointment headed over. Inside the medical office building, Dr. Chen’s suite is right across the hall from the Buncke clinic. I wasn’t sure where to go to check in, so we walked all the way down to the entrance of GU Recon and saw the door was open. Inside the waiting room was fairly spacious with comfy seating and plenty of random coffee table books to peruse. There was nobody else there at the time. At the receptionist window was a sign indicating to check in over at the Buncke clinic, so we quickly hopped across the hall.

The Buncke clinic waiting room was much smaller and was actually quite crowded for a Friday afternoon. I checked in and they asked for my ID and insurance card (even though I had sent in pictures), and they didn’t ask for any kind of copay or payment. I suspect I will receive a bill at some point for the specialist copay from my insurance which is $30. Hopefully.

They instructed us to head back over to Dr. Chen’s office to wait, so we went back over and started looking through a photography book. At this point I was still about 25 minutes early to the appointment so I was ready to wait however long it would take.

About 5 minutes later, Dr. Chen himself appeared behind the reception area with pizza and Starbucks in hand, apparently not expecting anyone to be in the waiting room. He noticed us right away and began apologizing for the wait. He explained the schedule didn’t indicate whether or not we were having a phone consultation, so he just assumed it was going to be over the phone based on my address.

This whole interaction solidified every good thing I had heard about Dr. Chen, and I immediately felt so… normal. That’s the best way I can describe what I felt. I felt like I had known Dr. Chen for years and that he was.. reachable. Human.

He told us it would be a few minutes, and sure enough a few minutes later Dr. Chen and Dr. Watt appeared at the door and we made introductions. My partner came with me because I wanted her to hear what the doctors had to say and I wanted another pair of ears listening, and also because I wanted the doctors to see that I had support.

We went down a narrow hallway and went into Dr. Chen’s office, which hosted another comfy couch which he had us sit on while he and Dr. Watt sat across on office chairs. They each had some papers (my medical information). The room was somewhat dimly lit, but calming and comfortable.

The consult started with Dr. Chen confirming my reason for the visit (seeking phalloplasty), and he asked me how important it was to me to stand to pee. I explained that my personal goals were 1 - Sensation, 2 - Stand to pee, 3 - Aesthetics, and 4 - Sexual function. Which, again, are personal goals and it is completely valid to have other priorities with lower surgery. This is my own journey.

We then went over my medical history, which is fairly short, but Dr. Chen was thorough and asked me about my minor eczema, asthma, and migraines. Dr. Watt was quietly taking notes and listening during this time. Next, they asked about any trauma to either arm and I basically explained how my right arm is essentially immediately disqualified from being a donor arm. In my specific case, I broke my right arm when I was 18 months old and had to have a surgical repair. This repair didn’t heal correctly and now my arm when extended is quite crooked.

This has put some strain on my ulnar nerve and gives me hypersensitivity in my palm. Further, I had a different surgery on my forearm which involved an incision and left me with a scar right in the middle of the graft area. This could compromise the blood supply, so we pretty much immediately dismissed my right arm as an option. To top it off, it is my dominant arm for most activities. I kind of would have preferred to keep my left arm nice and clear of any scars, but I think having 1.75 properly functioning arms is preferable to only 1 functioning arm in case my right side nerves ever gave out.

Next, Dr. Chen went on to explain his portion of the surgery - he starts with the vaginectomy and then relocates the end of the urethra to the natal phallus using labia minora tissue. He then mobilizes this and relocates it to the other side of the pubic bone to come out to the site of where the neophallus will be placed. At some point during this discussion, Dr. Chen explained the complication rate and he was both realistic and optimistic about it. He said the vast majority of complications that happen are fixable. Further, the most common complications often heal on their own. I can’t remember the exact numbers, but he said of the patients that do have fistulas, only around 20% of them end up needing a surgical fix. Strictures don’t show up right away, and usually occur within the first year.

While Dr. Chen does the work down below, Dr. Watt explained his team mobilizes the RFF and prepares it for the new location, using the tube-in-tube method to create the urethra and phallus. Dr. Chen places a foley catheter through the neophallus and into the relocated urethra to line everything up, and he sutures everything together once the microsurgeons connect the blood supply and nerves. Dr. Chen then places the suprapubic catheter and the RFF site is covered with the split-thickness graft from the leg. If requested, Dr. Watt would place integra on the RFF donor site before the split thickness graft (not staged like other teams).

They then explained what recovery typically looks like - 5 nights in the hospital, including 4 days of strict bed rest and then up and walking on day 5. If you’re able to walk well enough, you get to leave to recover elsewhere. They then check up every week for four weeks before sending you home. During your 1 week post-op visit, Dr. Chen removes the foley catheter from the neourethra complex. You start your peeing trials just before the 3 week checkup, and if you’re able to empty enough of your bladder the SP catheter can be removed. If you have significant fistula(s), an additional week for healing may be allotted and the SP catheter retained for that time.

Dr. Watt then did an exam of my arm, performing the Allen’s test to see if my hand receives enough blood if the artery they harvest for the RFF is removed. The test seemed really quick, but I guess with how fast my hand refilled with blood he was very confident I was a candidate for RFF. He indicated that no further testing of my forearm blood supply was needed.

He examined the hair on my forearm, which turned out to be really funny because while he was looking at it he guessed that I had undergone electrolysis up to about 6 inches down my forearm. I laughed a little and explained nope, I just haven’t grown hair there in my ~5 years on testosterone. He gently pinched/grabbed the skin to see the thickness and said they’ll likely delay my glansplasty, and when he looked at the underside of my arm where the urethra graft would be taken he said I was basically hairless there and that any electrolysis at this point would just to be to remove hair from what will be the outside of my phallus, which is optional and he said I can always shave or use something like Nair.

I then had a chance to quickly look over my questions to try to find any that hadn’t been answered. They were pretty thorough so the most I asked about was about Integra because I was most curious about it. Dr. Chen then explained that he needed to do a quick visual exam of the genital/mons region and we walked across the hall to an exam room.

He apologized for the discomfort and had me just quickly drop my shorts while standing. All in all I think it took about 5 seconds of exposure. When we got back into the other room he reported to Dr. Watt something along the lines of “minor prominence” of the mons. I checked my questions one more time and asked if they had any testicular implants that I could feel, but Dr. Chen explained that he had a patient waiting that was somewhat urgent and he promised that he would show me next time. He was very polite about it and I understood, and all in all I think the consultation took about 30 minutes.

We said our nice to meet yous and goodbyes and Dr. Chen showed us out the shortcut out of the clinic and boom it was over. Despite the quick ending, I still didn’t feel rushed out of there and felt like they really took the time to make sure I understood the surgery and that my possible concerns were heard.

All in all I left feeling really good, which for me was everything. I was actually excited about the future. Also, they said they would be forwarding my information to the phalloplasty team about our consultation, and that they should be reaching out to schedule with me. What ended up happening was I emailed Logan with a follow-up question and after we emailed back a forth a couple times, Logan asked me if I wanted to set my date. So now I am officially on the books for Left RFF Phalloplasty and words cannot describe how much joy/relief/excitement I feel about it.

Like, I still can’t believe I get to do this and I don’t know when reality will set in. But for the first time in months, I am hopeful and optimistic about the future.

Edit: I forgot to mention that Dr. Chen also will perform a scrotoplasty during his part of the procedure.

#phalloplasty #phalloplasty consultation #Dr. Chen #Dr. Watt #Buncke Clinic #ftm

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 5 years ago

Note

Skincare/ makeup culture ☕️

oooh. i’ll divide this post into two parts: makeup culture and skincare culture.

(1.) makeup culture.

i think everyone knows that I’ve never liked makeup, mostly because I had relatively bad cystic acne throughout high school, that reacted badly to all of the makeup that my sister used (but most particularly her l’oreal foundation). I think makeup culture is particularly harmful to young girls, like the makeup youtube channels that are run by the parents I suppose of 8 year olds, where the 8yo is the actual youtuber.

like don’t get me wrong, i know young girls like playing with makeup (I actually did when I was that age, funnily enough)….. but the fact that professional or just plain fucking ridiculously expensive makeup palettes are now being marketed to girls in bloody primary/grade/elementary school, is just fucking wrong. and yeah there’s the post on here about how some younger girls are finding themselves ugly when they don’t wear properly applied makeup or something like that. and that breaks my heart. why the fuck should a young girl be made to feel ugly if she can’t blend like josiemaycosmetics (I made that up btw idk any makeup channels besides Jeffree star, James Charles and that tatti woman tbh) and can’t afford the bullshit Too Faced $98 powered foundation, $65 Sunday Riley blush (I roughly remember the price of this particular blush bc my sister bought it for me for my 20th birthday so that I could according to her “look good for uni” but I never actually used it lmao… and it’s no longer sold here in australia) and Kylie Jenner’s overpriced lip kits and idk Smashbox “photo finish” primer priced between $AU23-$AU55????

like I had this bad enough in fucking HIGH SCHOOL with my sister telling me that I’d “never get a boyfriend” or “never get a date for the formal/junior prom” if I didn’t spend hundreds of $$$$ for a good face of makeup and didn’t spend hours and hours learning how to do my own makeup. or how last year for my uni grad, she made out that I’d ruin my own uni grad if we didn’t spend $250 on the makeup artist we got for me….. where I unfortunately found out that my skin reacts to MAC products 😭😨 bc the MUA used MAC concealer and foundation. my sister also expected me to remember the setting spray the woman used for my makeup, when I was there from like 4:30am till like 6:45am and i was barely fucking awake. the setting spray probably could’ve easily cost over $100. let’s be real here. like why am I expected to remember shit that early in the morning???

one of my least favourite things with makeup culture is that you’re not meant to fuck it up in any way, shape or form. like when my sister did my makeup for my two high school formals/proms (year 10 & year 12) she constantly told me not to scratch my face while she was doing it (but it made me itchy, hooray for L’Oréal being shit lmao)…. not to fuck it up while I ate at those events….. and she didn’t let me eat before my uni grad last year bc “you’d definitely fuck up your makeup. don’t you dare scratch your face at all today!” like for someone who has hypersensitive/highly reactive skin that she has to scratch when it’s itchy….. and also loves fucking stuffing her face with food….. expecting me to never touch/scratch my face and to practically starve myself to preserve the integrity of my makeup (that i ended up paying for some in the end anyway) for an event is fucking stupid and over-restrictive.

like i always hated the way that the kardashians ate on KUWTK bc it looked so fucking mechanical and whatever bc they had to obvs preserve their makeup while shooting and also look nice for the camera. like why the fuck am I expected to eat ~like that~ when I have a faceload of MU on???? FUCK OFF. I will scratch it off. I will smear the food all over my face (ok not really) and eat however I motherfucking want, thank you very fucking much. like for my uni grad last year I was up from 4am and my grad ended at like 12:30pm….. so I didn’t have food til about 12:35 when I left the hall. and the whole time while I was eating my sister kept reminding me to not fuck up my makeup that we’d spent $250 on. JUST LET ME FUCKING EAT WOMAN, I SWEAR TO FUCK. lmao.

the last thing I hate the most about makeup culture is that like….. I absolutely hate makeup like I said above….. but once I have it on I feel pretty and cry a bit bc I’ll just never learn to do it myself…. mostly bc I couldn’t be bothered…. bc I save hundreds, if not thousands of $$$$ from not buying all the bullshit essential items you need just for a ~basic no makeup, makeup look~, and bc my hands have never been steady enough to use some of the things, like false eyelashes and eyelash curlers or liquid eyeliner/normal eyeliner…..

but yeah. I just hate that it makes me feel pretty???? but I also feel good and more natural without it???? and I’ll never like my sister’s comment that: “you’re the prettier one out of the two of us…. but if only you hurried up and learnt to do your makeup, you’d be even prettier” or some dumb semi-condescending shit comment she’s said to me like that before. like why is the only way a woman can be pretty (other than some clothes that make her feel good) by smearing 100s/1000s of dollars worth of makeup on???? like why the fuck am I expected to spend all that money when a good bulk of men will never bother with the male makeup trend anyway???? like why am I expected to act differently when I basically just have grown up face-paint on lmao???? I’ve never felt natural in makeup, I’ve always felt awkward and like…. not sound like an cringey edgelord emo kid…. but i never felt ~real~ wearing makeup lmao. just yeah.

but yeah I also understand makeup is an art and I appreciate that. makeup culture is so fucked on all sides for women.

(2.) skincare culture:

now skincare culture is different for me. considering that, like I said before, I had relatively bad cystic acne…. and I’ve since also developed eczema during the winter months….. so I’ve had to develop a good skincare routine over the years to keep my skin under control. but again, there are parts that I don’t like about skincare culture…. like women are typically meant to spend, again, hundreds and if not thousands of dollars on super expensive skin creams (some of which I’ve tried) to fix their fine lines, their laugh lines, their crows feet, their blemishes, their birth marks and cellulite…… the list truly goes on and on….. and on top of that (well this hellsite which isn’t entirely accurate) I’m, or we as women, are expected to teach all of that to men in their 20s???? like fuck off. why and how the fuck didn’t they get the fucking memo to look after their own goddamned skin???? like my 20s are already tiring enough, and now I gotta pass on important skincare advice to men, who could easily fucking find it themselves online???? lord help their asses lmao.

but other than the men bit…. yeah skincare culture is just as bad as makeup culture. like when Cosmo mag was still running in australia, more than half of the shit the women at Cosmo were advertising as part of their skincare routines were literally $300 night treatment creams or moisturisers; $150 facial cleansers; or $500 skin peels, or $600 appointments at dermatologists and skin therapies like electrolysis that I’ll probs never be able to afford. like one of the luxury brands that I LOVE (💖) is Mario badescu bc the two pimple treatments that i sometimes I use from them (the drying lotion and the anti-acne serum) are the ONLY two acne treatments that have NEVER made my face turn red and my skin peel off (besides a really good neutrogena one that Neutrogena discontinued 😭). every other chemist bought pimple treatment cream makes my skin peel off/itchy/turn red. but sadly the two Mario badescu treatments are priced over $50 if bought together (ones now $31 (formerly $28, this one’s great bc it dries clear), the other is like $26, this one dries pink). so the chemist bought ones like the ones by Clearasil or OXY10 are my saviours at $11.99-$12.99, even though they dry out my skin to buggery and leave big white marks on my face bc they both dry white lmao. but I’ve gotta suffer that for the price of beauty lmao.

also there’s expensive face washes (or skin care program packs etc) from Paula’s choice that I love.... but again they were like $35 for a 400ml bottle and $25 for a fucking 150ml or 250ml bottle. now the one i like is $20 for 177ml, which is a rip off. some of the other luxury things that I’ve tried (via free samples) that don’t work, like Kate Somerville (priced at like $65 and over), Philosophy and god knows what else that i’ve bought from Mecca Cosmetica, which is the Aussie version of Sephora in the past. and yes, for acne treatments, i’ve used pro-activ before. it was ok… but i never used it in high school, after the awful time we had trying to cancel our subscription to it back in the day for my sister lol.

also can we talk about the ultrasonic face brush systems that are still raging strongly??? like they’re also super rip offs, especially with buying replacement heads for $35 a pop. like I’ve had a Clarisonic for years (that I’ve stopped using, admittedly)…. the model was roughly $250 when I got it for my like 19th birthday. now they’re even more expensive at like $315 for the latest “clarisonic mia fit cleansing system” which is linked on the $315. or now there’s the foreo that costs anywhere between $75 (the cheapest model) to fucking almost $400… ie $395. the replacement heads for the clarisonic and i suppose replacement like pads or something for the foreo are meant to be replaced every three months “for optimum cleansing” or whatever. like $35 every three months is a lot to maintain after a while. also using the clarisonic added like 10 extra minutes to my showers/general skincare routine bc you’re meant to use it for five mins or whatever and then spend another 5mins washing it out to make sure that it doesn’t collect mould and buildup too much soap residue. it was just a lot of effort to use, even if it did make me feel like i had a better and deeper face washing routine.

and yes, i know there’s Lush. both my sister and i (but more my sister) were obsessed with Lush back in high school, after one of our sydney cousins introduced it to us. but Lush’s skincare stuff for pimples just never worked for us. it made me breakout more, actually. but their old apple pie and choc-orange lip balms were the BOMB. it’s a pity that they no longer make them tbh. their jelly soaps were fun to use and smelt nice too. i can’t remember much else about lush tbh lmao.

for face masks, i’ve found that store/chemist bought formula 10.0.06 or whatever works the best for my skin. but the push, especially again in cosmo and other places, to buy more expensive face-masks and like designer FMs that you should really ask a professional to use first imo, is fucking harmful, especially when you’ve got ones that take off the whole top layer of skin from your face (like the famous and the overly popular charcoal face peel masks), or so i’ve read. like it’s yikes out there. please be safe with these masks, ya’ll. and the same goes for making your own organic face masks, considering that i’ve seen posts on here about using lemon juice which is bad for your skin??? idk anyway. i also hate how with the face masks i buy, there’s about 6 different “skin-illuminating”/“skin brightening”/”skin detoxing” etc masks, that all essentially do the same fucking thing. just keep it at one and fucking go; for gods fucking sake lmao.

but yeah, skincare culture does suck just as much as makeup culture, considering that is heavily focused on women’s self-esteem and wallets…. and barely ever focuses on men. like it’s a double-edged sword tbh.

also as side notes: why the actual fuck are makeup companies still giving their makeup shades or makeup lines sexual names???? like i just found a fucking blush shade by NARS, in my research for this post, called “Orgasm”???? like what the FUCK is wrong with ya’ll??? like y’all actually have the fucking AUDACITY to really make 8 year olds say that in their makeup tutorial videos as well??? “our best selling orgasm collection” sweet lord. that sounds bad. y’all need to sort your shit out, and so do the people who name nail polish shades..

the other worrying general beauty trends that i keep getting on my facebook newsfeed are the teeth whitening systems like hismile and at home laser treatment machines… and then also the charcoal toothpastes to whiten your teeth. oh and also the facial skin “vacuums”, that suck out dirt/oil and your blackheads/pimples etc from your pores. stay safe out there everyone, and do your bloody research. don’t believe the reviews and the hype.

also finally: take your skin type and skin condition/(s) into account if you want to use any of the things that I’ve mentioned that I use/have used on this post. or that I’ve just generally mentioned, like the Clarisonic and the foreo. because what works for me, might not work for you. I’m not a skincare expert or dermatologist. check with your doctor or a skincare professional or whatever before you start using some of these things, even if you might think that it’s stupid & pointless to do so.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ask game thing #anon ask #answered anon ask #anon #answered anon #anonymous

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hasbihallarcomebackhome-blog · 6 years ago

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5 Tips about yeast face mask You Can Use Today

Certainly, it would make a great gentle cleanser likewise. I like how it will make my face really feel while in the mornings. This is used to collect information on traffic to article content and also other pages on our site. Unless you might be signed in to the HubPages account, all personally identifiable data is anonymized. I have tried coffee honey nd lemon mixed face pack nd it is absolutely successful to my pores and skin….u need to consider it as soon as ?? Chilly climate can aggravate rosacea, leaving faces reddened and blotchy, and occasionally bumpy as well. The apple cider vinegar helps you to stabilize the pH of the skin, while the oatmeal lessens discomfort and one other ingredients soothe and moisturize. These masks are ideal for an at-house facial. Begin with clean up skin and just before making use of the mask, lay a heat, wet wash cloth on the face to open up up your pores. After rinsing from the mask, wash your face with chilly water or utilize a toner to close the pores. Then implement an excellent face oil. my Close friend And that i would want to Possess a comforting facial mask afternoon any suggestions of which one is most effective with in the next twenty mins Get started Slideshow Each individual merchandise we aspect has actually been independently picked and reviewed by our editorial team. In case you make a order using the back links included, we might receive Fee. August two, 2014 at eight:19 pm Hello there! I\'m making an attempt the redness-cutting down mask for rosacea - I\'ve only utilized a little little bit on my face when compared to just what the recipe built, can I continue to keep it while in the fridge for a couple of days to work with once again or do I really need to come up with a new combination each and every time? I have my fingers crossed it works! Many thanks! yeast face mask offers the necessary dose of vitamin C in this pack. Choose just one tbsp of coffee powder, just one tbsp of honey, and squeeze in some drops of lemon into it. Mix effectively and utilize on face and neck. Rinse off soon after 50 % an hour or so. Now, https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Face-Masks-Using-Natural-Ingredients might be excellent for dry skin. Olive oil moisturizes skin and has vitamin E content material way too. Increase 1 tbsp of coffee powder with one tbsp of olive oil, mix very well, and implement the paste on face and neck. Rinse off when its semi dry. Oatmeal is great for calming rough, indignant skin and for assisting to mend eczema and acne breakouts. Paired with honey and yogurt, itâs a calming and revitalizing mask for all pores and skin varieties. Didi’s just take: “Will not Do this a single in front of the children! Spirulina is green, incredibly green. You'll appear like the Hulk. Having said that, I liked this mask. It smelled like banana and remaining my skin brilliant and so hydrated that it was actually springy for the contact.” I failed to understand that strawberries naturally have salicylic acid in them! I knew to search for the component when buying face/acne washes, but by no means realized I'd some in my fridge now. I really like Understanding new things such as that! :) Combine all the above mentioned ingredients in a small mixing bowl. Working with thoroughly clean finger suggestions, apply a thick coat with the combination on to your face.

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The caffeine enhances blood circulation and pores and skin metabolism, which decreases the appearance of cellulite. Moreover, it’s an outstanding exfoliator, ridding the skin of every one of the dead pores and skin cells, Filth along with other impurities. Pat your face with moderate yellow mustard for a bracing facial that will soothe and encourage the skin. Attempt it on a little check space 1st to make sure it gained’t irritate. Lemon facial masks Your not too long ago seen things and highlighted recommendations › Check out or edit your browsing background August two, 2014 at 8:19 pm Hello there! I\'m hoping the redness-lowering mask for rosacea - I\'ve only employed a small little bit on my face in comparison with what the recipe made, can I continue to keep it while in the fridge for a few days to implement yet again or do I really need to come up with a new combination each time? I've my fingers crossed it really works! Many thanks! Raw honey by alone is Attractive, but You can even mix and match other foods-centered ingredients to tailor your mask on your special skin form. Skin Treatment is important to every of us and plays an essential position inside our grooming method. visit little herbs here delivers you a considerable collection of items that are made to fulfill the skin care needs. You could search through our variety to discover the solution of the preference through the use of practical look for parameters including makes, seller, price tag, availability and normal shopper assessments. three. Make the mask easy and properly-blended for less complicated application. I realize mine appears a tiny bit lumpy but it absolutely was still great for application. With clear fingers, use this mask in your face. Clean off with warm water following ten minutes. How it works: Resveratrol, a strong antioxidant found largely in crimson wine but additionally in smaller sized amounts in white, may perhaps help to restore the injury caused by Sunshine exposure that can cause wrinkles and sagging, As outlined by a rising physique of scientific investigation. Reply: Any honey will do, but I very endorse employing raw, unfiltered honey for the face mask because it retains much more on the potent healing Attributes. This is excellent! I happen to be hunting Around for a little something such as this! I'm going to must attempt Each individual recipe. Thank you for sharing!! We may well use conversion monitoring pixels from promotion networks including Google AdWords, Bing Adverts, and Facebook in order to recognize when an advertisement has effectively resulted in the specified motion, for example signing up to the HubPages Services or publishing an report around the HubPages Service. Mix the entire elements jointly, unfold evenly above pores and skin, and permit it to sit for around ten minutes. If you rinse it off, massage your face Carefully to exfoliate at the same time. Puree the papaya inside of a food processor or blender until finally just mashed evenly, and afterwards Mix in one other substances by hand. Distribute above your face, avoiding your eyes, and let it sit for ten-quarter-hour. Wipe or rinse your face cleanse, and smile at you while in the mirror. include yeast on the citrus, blend and utilize in your face, keep the mask for 25 minutes and then rinse with interesting drinking water.

How Much You Need To Expect You'll Pay For A Good coffee face mask

You're absolutely sure to note a delightful improvement in your acne scars that may look much less visible than right before! Papaya is full of antioxidants, and its enzymes support to slough absent previous, dry pores and skin cells for a glowing, nutritious complexion. Jasmin Fiore of The Deva Life swears by papaya masks as Component of her therapeutic routine, and sings the praises of this rejuvenating speculate-fruit. Picture this mask being a smoothie for your personal face: strawberries consist of salicylic acid (which happens to be perfect for acne-vulnerable skin), when lemon juice helps to tighten pores and take away previous, lifeless pores and skin cells. These appear to be fantastic face masks, honey does wonders to the skin and leaves your face exceptionally sleek! One more face mask that is certainly Tremendous simple and extremely beneficial is an easy honey and cinnamon mask. Individuals with dry pores and skin should really use this as it has astounding elements that mend and nourish dehydrated pores and skin. The many benefits of the masks are only temporary. If you do a mask that gets rid of excess oil, the oil will come back. If you have dry or ordinary pores and skin kind, you are able to do mask daily, When the skin is delicate and fading, the procedure needs to be done no more than two instances every week. Fantastic posting! I've a question. Does utilizing a face mask produce a substantial distinction in your facial pores and skin (immediately after the main use or initial couple uses)? I have not applied just one in advance of but knew someone who did... Or you might want to use it constantly? SiO Beauty Lift sequence patches are available in 5 specially-created designs so you're able to target the problems spots on your face, neck, and upper body. If you talk to us, All those are more than more than enough fantastic explanations to operate inside of a face mask when per week. But as we touched on over, some retail outlet-purchased face masks may be lousy for the skin due to chemical compounds and the intense adhesive they use. Olive oil moisturizes and is also infused with antioxidants; mayonnaise softens the pores and skin although offering the whole shebang a wealthy, creamy texture. The lavender? Pure aromatherapy. Includes strong anti-inflammatory and pores and skin lightening Qualities. Allows fade acne scars and decreasing swelling and redness from acne. Ahead of working with any with the masks, its finest to initially take a look at a little part of the mask on to your internal elbow or wrist to determine if you may be allergic to it. Edit: I finished applying honey in it due to the fact I failed to know if it improved the effectiveness, And that i do honey masks by rubbing honey with a moist face and permitting it sit, so I think incorporating honey to this was too smaller to help make a distinction, but who is familiar with maybe not. I also tried rice powder on It is personal or in this. https://en.search.wordpress.com/?src=organic&q=face+mask desire yeast!

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Blend all substances jointly in a little bowl. Use a thin layer more than your overall face and neck. Rest for twenty minutes and rinse with warm drinking water. Repeat the mask weekly or utilize the combination to be a day by day place procedure by dabbing it on to discoloration. Effects will consider 2-3 months. Following that, apply the mask with your clean up face. Depart this mask on for 50 % one hour and Finally wash your face. The caffeine from coffee grounds in this cocoa-licious mask assists to lessen swelling and puffiness, while the antioxidants within the cocoa support to lower ageing, plus the yogurt replenishes misplaced humidity. For additional honey Tips, consider honey and cinnamon for brighter pores and skin or honey with cocoa and product to exfoliate. Any health and fitness issue requested on This website will be visible on the individuals that browse This website. T here fore, the consumer assumes the accountability to not disclose any Individually identifiable information while in the dilemma. Utilization of This website is topic to our Terms & Disorders. Go through our privacy coverage Mash or puree the avocado till itâs easy and creamy, after which you can Mix in the remainder of the components. Implement to the face, keeping away from your eyes, and leave it on for ten-quarter-hour. Wipe the skin clean up having a moist, heat fabric, or rinse your face with warm drinking water from the shower. Avocado masks are employed by celebs like Victoria Beckham and Jessica Biel, as well as best part is you could take in the next half that you just donât use on your own face. Directions: To type this anti growing older pores and skin treatment face mask which also includes a lightening effect, set each of the substances in the blender, or mash by hand inside of a bowl. Use your fingers to unfold the mask around your face and neck and leave it on for a minimum of 30 minutes, preferably lengthier, prior to getting rid of. I'd no concept that orange peel was so fantastic with the pores and skin! Actually intriguing, absolutely a thing to add to my Do it yourself to-do list! SiO Elegance Elevate sequence patches can be found in five specifically-designed styles so you can concentrate on the issues places on the face, neck, and upper body. Maintain for twenty minutes and rinse off. In conjunction with Light exfoliation, it will provide you with anti-oxidant and anti-inflammatory profit and honey as always will moisturize your skin. Please take somewhat instant to accomplish your profile so we could personalize your knowledge and make sure you acquire written content and offers which can be relevant to you personally. B natural vitamins refresh and tone the skin, enhance blood circulation in cells, normalize metabolic processes; (It is possible to pierce the capsule by using a needle to squeeze out the contents.) Stir the combination and afterwards unfold it onto your face, getting rid of after ten to quarter-hour. For additional easy Do-it-yourself face masks like these, and homemade treatments of every kind, check out the ebook Selfmade: 707 Products to Make On your own to save cash and also the Earth. And don’t miss out on these other day-to-day habits that could cause you to look younger.

The best Side of coffee face mask

Yeast mask to indicate men and women: with oily skin and seborrhea. Excellent yeast cleanse the pores, simultaneously disappears glow, face appears refreshed; Now, smooth the paste equally and Carefully using your fingertips about the clean up neck and face; keep your eye space clear. Then, increase a handful crushed sunflower seeds, few drops contemporary lemon juice as well as a spoonful of honey in it. Thanks for often furnishing great data. I might like to consider the turmeric mask – just wondering if it gained’t shade the pores and skin tone to yellow. Use around the face and neck, and wash off just after 5 to 10 minutes with any Mild face cleanser or rose water. Attempt not to use this on acne prone pores and skin but if you choose to do so then follow it up having an acne skin face pack. An additional nice update: After you incorporate honey to this mixture, it won't dry stiff in any way. I did not assume that nevertheless it's wonderful! Honey has antibacterial and calming Houses, And that i used Manuka honey which can be recognized for acquiring the very best antibacterial Attributes. I'm confident it is possible to combine a few other factors in it likewise. So, if you are amassing the kelp oneself, stay clear of extremely polluted spots. When you are acquiring it, Make certain that it really is gathered and made in a place with as lower a level of air pollution as possible. Here's five simple recipes to receive you started off. Discover the one particular that actually works for your skin variety or the challenge you need to deal with. For the most recent meals information, well being suggestions and recipes, like us on Facebook or stick to us on Twitter and YouTube. With this simple blemish-eradicating face mask, You merely need to have two other ingredients: honey and yogurt. These powerhouse substances are jam packed with nutrients that supply nourishing Rewards to pores and skin. Honey, especially, can help in night out discolorations and blemishes on skin. Application: Implement a single layer of the combination on your entire face and down onto your throat. Wait for a few minutes till it dries. Then, implement a next layer and hold implementing until eventually you have got employed The complete batch. Applying honey masks for acne therapy is often a very popular residence solution and For anyone who is serious about treating your acne inside a organic, harmless way or if The body isn't going to answer very well to absorbing medicines product of harsh substances, then honey masks are the proper choice for you. Warning: Kelp could possibly be allergenic to some on account of its large iodine articles. Also, kelp can be rich in metallic pollutants like direct and cadmium, because nearly all industrial sewage and wastes are in the end dumped into your seas. Mash all the components with each other, but will not puree in the blender: you desire this to get spreadable, not a liquid. Use evenly throughout your face and Permit sit 8-ten minutes. Wipe off having a heat, damp facecloth and afterwards rinse with cool h2o. Pat dry.

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elizas-writing · 6 years ago

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One of the biggest struggles in starting a whole new curly hair care routine is figuring out how to maintain it without washing it every other day or so. It takes a lot of patience to get used to your hair feeling oilier than usual and figuring out what methods work best for your hair type. So I’m sharing how I care for my hair during the week in between washes to help y’all get a few ideas how to care for your hair without over-washing.

Sunday: Full Wash Day

Sunday

I usually do my wash days on the weekend since I have more time to do the full routine and allow it to air dry. I also updated my routine since my first posts!

Before stepping into the shower, I do a pre-poo treatment. What is this silly phrase you may ask? A pre-poo treatment is when you apply oils to your hair before shampooing and/or conditioning to help moisturize and avoid stripping out too much of your natural sebum. This treatment can also be yogurt, honey, bananas, or whatever home remedy works best for your hair type. The treatment I personally grew to love is aloe vera gel.

Doesn’t matter the brand or color, it all works the same. Since starting a curly hair routine, my scalp gets really itchy in between washes, and it doesn’t help that it’s naturally dry to begin with. Aloe vera gel is my savior from scratching at my head too much, because it’s so cool and refreshing. And some vitamin E is always a plus. I’ll massage about a couple handfuls into my scalp and let it sit for a few minutes while I brush my teeth, feed the cats, and set up everything for my mask (hair cap, dryer, etc).

For this wash day, I used the following:

Shampoo and Conditioner: Shea Moisture Peace Rose Oil Complex (yes, the one I had a breakdown about)

Deep Conditioning Mask: Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Deep Treatment Masque

Leave-In Conditioner and Styling Gel: Curls Blueberry Bliss

Styling Mist: OGX Hydrate + Defrizz Kukuí Oil Anti-Frizz Hydrating Oil

My hair has a fresh start with soft, defined curls and minimal frizz. The rat’s nest is detangled, and my scalp is clean and not itchy. Sometimes the curls take a while to bounce back, but usually day 2 or 3 hair looks best once you allow enough time for the sebum to set in.

I used to use one of the Maui Moisture masks as a leave-in conditioner, but because of the thick consistency, it’s too easy to accidentally use too much, thus weighing down your hair over time. The Blueberry Bliss leave-in conditioner is much lighter and gets the job done splendidly without build up.

I love the OGX oil sprays as they saved my frizzy hair many times before. It’s the perfect last minute touch to help keep in all the moisture. However, like any hair oil, it’ll weigh your curls down if you overdo it. Just 4-5 sprays combed through is perfect.

Monday and Tuesday

Monday

Tuesday

As you can see, I have some more curl definition, but the frizz is quickly setting back in. These days, I’ll just use the leave-in conditioner and oil spray to tame it all. I usually use a small palmful of leave-in conditioner after washing my hair, but for the in-between days, I just use about a nickle-sized amount, give or take. Since I don’t always feel like going into the shower to wet my hair for this process, I made a DIY refreshing spray.

Aloe vera gel is also a great add in for your skin routine (especially if you have eczema flare ups!)

All it has is water, aloe vera gel, and argan oil– I just eyeball the measurements and use my best judgement on if I need more of one ingredient over another and shake it up until it’s all mixed together. I’ll spray it through my hair until it’s lightly damp before working in any product, and it works wonderfully. If my scalp is feeling especially thirsty, I’ll spray directly on and massage the mixture in, so it feels rejuvenated without even trying to gamble with dry shampoo.

Wednesday: Co-Wash Day

Wednesday

Usually at this point, just those three products won’t cut it to manage the increasing tangles. Depending how the rest of the week is, I might start feeling just a tad greasy too. So it’s time to pop back in the shower for a co-wash, which is where you just wash your hair with conditioner.

I pretty much do the same routine as I would a full wash day, but only cut out the shampoo and mask.

God, I just wanna drink it…

For this co-wash, I used the Maui Moisture Curl Quench conditioner. It contains aloe leaf juice, coconut water, coconut oil, papaya extract, and plumeria extract. As expected of this brand, it smells like a tropical paradise tempting to eat right out of the bottle. It’s only about a few degrees less thick than their masks, and it just melts right through the tangles for those days you need a moisturizing pick-me-up. I usually only need one palmful to get the job done. I definitely recommend this brand of conditioner if you’re struggling with tangles.

After that, I’ll finger comb and scrunch in my leave-ins and stylers like normal, and my hair is ready to take on the world again. This is the best my hair looked and felt this whole week once it got that extra moisture boost and delayed the onslaught of disaster. I actually had more curls than my full wash day which was pretty impressive.

Thursday, Friday and Saturday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

After my co-wash day, I’ll repeat the same routine as Monday and Tuesday until it’s time for another full wash. As you can see, my hair gets frizzier no matter how much product I’ll put in, and it’s much less fluffy and curly than it was on Sunday. By Saturday, there’s almost no curls left, and that’s when I notice how oily my hair feels as it almost lies flat on my head.

Come Sunday, I start it all over again!

And that’s my week with my hair routine! It took quite a bit of trial and error to figure out how long I could go without washing my hair and how to best maintain it in between washes. It’s a hell of an adjustment to get used to certain practices and working in new products, and your hair might be mad at you at first for not washing it every other day.

Here’s a few tips to get you started on a new curly hair routine:

Wash your hair less little by little. Start with every other day, then every three days and so on until you can go a week without a full wash. By then you’ll figure out what you’ll need for those in-between days.

If you must use any spray to make your hair feel clean, invest in a refresher spray with natural ingredients (whether you buy a name-brand or make your own at home). Avoid dry shampoos if at all possible since they mainly contain alcohol which can lead to product build up if overused.

Replace anything with sulfates and silicones ASAP. You can’t get moisture in if you’re using products which are either stripping the sebum or blocking anything from penetrating the strands. Your hair will thank you in the long run.

Start with a little product at first and then increase as to your hair’s needs. Everyone’s hair works differently, and certain products won’t make the cut. Sometimes just one styler will be enough; other times you might need two or three to get your hair to calm the fuck down. You’ll figure out quick at what point it builds up.

A Week in Curly Hair Care One of the biggest struggles in starting a whole new curly hair care routine is figuring out how to maintain it without washing it every other day or so.

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chetan1234567890000000 · 3 years ago

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Eczema

What Is Skin inflammation?

Dermatitis is a gathering of conditions that make your skin kindled or disturbed. The most well-known sort is atopic dermatitis or atopic skin inflammation. "Atopic" alludes to an individual's inclination to get unfavorably susceptible conditions, for example, asthma and feed fever.

Skin inflammation influences about 10% to 20% of babies and about 3% of grown-ups and youngsters in the U.S. Most kids grow out of it by their tenth birthday celebration. A few group keep on having indications on and off forever.

There's no fix, yet the vast majority can deal with their indications by getting treatment and by staying away from aggravations. Dermatitis isn't infectious, so you can't spread it to someone else.

Eczema

Skin inflammation Side effects

Skin inflammation appears to be unique for everybody. Also, your flare-ups will not generally occur in a similar region.

Regardless of what portion of your skin is influenced, dermatitis is quite often bothersome. The tingling now and then beginnings before the rash. Your skin may likewise be:

Commercial

Red

Dry

Broken

Weathered

Indications in babies

In newborn children, the bothersome rash can prompt an overflowing, crusting condition, principally on the face and scalp. It can likewise occur on their arms, legs, back, and chest.

Manifestations in kids

Youngsters and adolescents normally have a rash in the twists of their elbows, behind their knees, on their neck, or on their wrists or lower legs. The rash turns flaky and dry.

Manifestations in grown-ups

The rash generally occurs all over, the backs of your knees, wrists, hands, or feet.

Your skin will most likely be exceptionally dry, thick, or textured. In lighter looking individuals, these regions may begin ruddy and afterward become brown. In hazier cleaned individuals, dermatitis can influence skin colors, making the influenced region lighter or more obscure.

When to see your primary care physician

Call your primary care physician if:

You notice indications of a disease, like fever, redness, warmth, or rankles

Your dermatitis abruptly changes or deteriorates

Medicines aren't working

Peruse more on the manifestations of skin inflammation.

Kinds of Skin inflammation

Dermatitis incorporates conditions, for example,

Atopic dermatitis. This is the thing that individuals are normally discussing when they say "skin inflammation."

Contact dermatitis. Almost everybody gets this eventually in their lives. It happens when your skin comes into contact with something that causes a rash.

Dyshidrotic skin inflammation. This happens when your skin doesn't ensure itself the manner in which it ought to.

Nummular skin inflammation. Individuals who have this sort get round injuries, regularly after a skin injury like a consume or bug chomp.

Seborrheic dermatitis. This occurs in spaces of your body with heaps of oil organs. At the point when it's on your scalp, it's called dandruff.

Balance dermatitis. This sort occurs in individuals who have helpless blood stream, as a rule in the lower legs.

Get familiar with the various sorts of skin inflammation.

Dermatitis Causes and Hazard Variables

Specialists aren't sure what precisely purposes dermatitis. Things that may make it almost certain include:

An insusceptible framework reaction to something disturbing

Issues in your skin's hindrance that let dampness out and germs in

A family background of different sensitivities or asthma

Find out about the connection among sensitivities and skin inflammation.

Skin inflammation Triggers

A few group have flare-ups of the irritated rash in light of things like:

Harsh or coarse texture

Feeling excessively hot or cold

Family items like cleanser or cleanser

Creature dander

Respiratory contaminations or colds

Stress

Sweat

View a slideshow on top dermatitis triggers to stay away from.

Dermatitis Determination

Nobody test can spot dermatitis. Your primary care physician will most likely analyze it by taking a gander at your skin and by posing a couple of inquiries.

Since numerous individuals with dermatitis likewise have sensitivities, your primary care physician may arrange some hypersensitivity tests to search for aggravations or triggers. Youngsters with dermatitis are particularly liable to have hypersensitivity tests.

In the event that your PCP determined you to have dermatitis, you should ask them:

What's the most ideal approach to add dampness to my skin? Would i be able to use over-the-counter items, or do you have to endorse something?

Do I have to purchase exceptional cleansers, salves, and clothing cleanser? Do scent free or touchy skin items help?

Are there food sources that I ought to stay away from to keep flares under control?

Are there textures that I ought to abstain from wearing? Shouldn't something be said about textures I should wear more?

Do pets exacerbate manifestations?

In the event that perspiring exacerbates the situation, would i be able to in any case work out?

What's next if my manifestations don't improve or I get a contamination from scratching my skin?

Does pressure prompt flare-ups?

Are extensive stretches of time without side effects normal?

Are there ways I can get my skin diminish my odds of another erupt?

Discover how skin inflammation is analyzed.

Skin inflammation Treatment

The point of skin inflammation treatment is facilitating and forestalling tingling, which can prompt disease.

Home cures

A few things you can do at home may assist with facilitating manifestations.

Lotions. Since your skin is dry and irritated, your PCP will prescribe salves and creams to keep it wet. Creams and salves ease irritation and set water back in your skin to help it recuperate. Put them on a few times each day, including just after you wash or shower. Petrol jam and mineral oil function admirably on the grounds that they structure a thick obstruction over your skin.

Items with glycerin, lactic corrosive, and urea may likewise help since they assist with maneuvering water into your skin. You'll utilize these when your skin is soggy, for example, after washing, to help hold in dampness.

Hydrocortisone creams and antihistamines. Over-the-counter items like hydrocortisone cream and antihistamines can likewise help. Hydrocortisone is a steroid that helps keep redness, tingling, and expanding under control. You can purchase low-strength creams and moisturizers at the store. On the off chance that those don't help, your primary care physician may recommend something more grounded.

It's protected to put hydrocortisone on most body parts upwards of four times each day for as long as 7 days, insofar as you're not pregnant or breastfeeding. Get it far from your eyes, rectum, and private parts.

A few group have a serious response to hydrocortisone. In the event that you experience difficulty breathing or gulping, or notice a skin rash after you use it, call 911 or your PCP.

Over-the-counter hypersensitivity medications may not function admirably for bothersome skin brought about by dermatitis. Yet, antihistamines that are known to cause laziness can help you rest on the off chance that you take them before bed.

Colloidal cereal. Add this finely ground cereal to a tepid shower.

Wet wraps. At the point when your dermatitis' erupting, douse some dressing, swathes, or bits of delicate apparel in cool water and put them on your skin. The coolness will calm tingling, and the dampness will help creams or salves work shockingly better. Cautiously cover the region with a dry layer (like nightgown) and leave set up for a few hours or overnight.

Converse with your primary care physician to discover how regularly you can utilize wet wrap treatment. In the event that you do it to an extreme, your skin may get contaminated.

Coal tar. Your primary care physician may recommend an item with coal tar. Concentrate of rough tar has treated dermatitis and other skin issues for over 2,000 years. In spite of the fact that it's muddled and numerous individuals don't care for the solid smell, it might assist with mitigating your skin.

Calamine cream (zinc oxide, ferric oxide) can be placed in the fridge and alleviates tingling rapidly.

Unwinding strategies. There's a solid connection among stress and your skin. Also, you're inclined to scratch more when your feelings are running high.

Self-spellbinding, contemplation, and biofeedback treatment have all been displayed to ease skin inflammation manifestations. You may likewise need to see a specialist. They can help you change propensities or negative idea designs that might be adding to your skin issues.

Study home solutions for dermatitis.

Meds

Your primary care physician may likewise recommend creams and treatments effortlessly aggravation. On the off chance that the region becomes contaminated, you'll presumably require anti-microbials.

Different choices incorporate tar medicines (synthetic substances that lessen tingling), phototherapy (utilizing bright light), and the medication cyclosporine.

The FDA has supported two drugs called skin immunomodulators (TIMs) for gentle to direct dermatitis. Elidel cream and Protopic treatment work by changing your insusceptible framework reaction to forestall flare-ups.

The FDA has cautioned specialists to utilize alert with Elidel and Protopic in view of worries over a malignant growth hazard. The two items likewise convey the FDA's "discovery" cautioning on their bundling to make specialists and patients aware of these expected dangers. The admonition encourages specialists to recommend Elidel and Protopic for just a brief time frame after other skin inflammation medicines have fizzled in grown-ups and youngsters beyond 2 years old. It ought not be utilized in kids under age 2.

A biologic medication called dupilumab (Dupixent) is FDA endorsed for moderate to extreme dermatitis. Biologics block certain proteins from restricting to receptors on your cells. This facilitates or forestalls irritation by holding your safe framework back from overcompensating.

Get more insights concerning medicines for dermatitis.

Dermatitis Inconveniences

Confusions from dermatitis include:

Contamination

Scarring

Loss of rest as a result of tingling

Peruse more on the complexities from skin inflammation.

Skin inflammation Erupt Anticipation

A couple of tips can assist you with forestalling episodes or hold them back from deteriorating:

Saturate your skin frequently.

Keep away from abrupt changes in temperature or moistness.

Do whatever it takes not to perspire or get excessively hot. Keeping cool and keeping your home agreeable diminish tingle.

Oversee pressure, and set aside effort for yourself to unwind. Get standard exercise. It can assist with controlling pressure and increment flow.

Keep away from scratchy materials like fleece.

Try not to utilize brutal cleansers, cleansers, or solvents.

Focus on food sources that may trigger side effects and attempt to stay away from them.

Utilize a humidifier in your room.

On the off chance that your child is bound to have skin inflammation on account of a family ancestry, it's ideal to breastfeed them only for the initial 3 months of life, or more if conceivable. Specialists prompt proceeding with bosom milk for essentially as long as a half year (ideally 1 year) as you acquaint your child with strong food. Infants ought to likewise be shielded from such potential allergens a

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gobigorgohome2016 · 7 years ago

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Taper Week 1 + Final Big Workout

I am in the home stretch, which is strange because I’m feeling very different from other marathon training cycles.

Normally at this point, I am plotting out exactly what I am going to do as soon as I cross the finish line: drink a beer, eat a burger, and not engage in any physical activity for a glorious 14 days. Last year, the US half marathon championships couldn’t come soon enough. Even on the starting line, all I could think about was covering 13.1 miles as quickly as possible solely so that I could take a break. Definitely not the right mindset for running your best!

Traditionally, taper has been hard for me. Not from the standpoint of “taper crazies” - I’m not going to lie, when people complain about running less I just don’t get it. At the same time, my taper is relatively small. I ran 108 miles for my peak week, and last week I ran 92 (which includes one day off). When you track my 7 day stretch from Tuesday to Monday, I still covered 102 miles. This week will be lower, though, coming in at 76. It will be weird to only run once per day most of the week. Actually, today was my first single run in weeks and I felt like I had infinitely more time on my hands! Of course that means I was less productive, because the best way to get things done is to be really busy, amirite?

I’m starting to wonder if my early season setbacks will have actually served a greater purpose. I feel like the last few weeks have been a turning point in my fitness and that things are coming together. About 4 weeks ago I was running a warm up and I thought to myself you need to just be okay with the fact this might not be a PR training cycle. After I had that thought, I wound up running a better-than-expected workout and I feel like I’ve been on the up and up ever since. I’m not sure I have ever made it to this point in training feeling as though my legs are still fresh.

On Sunday I did what I love to do during taper: I pored over my running logs and looked at data. I love to look at my mileage totals. Here is my mileage during the same 92 day periods leading up to each race:

Twin Cities: 1,019 miles Olympic Trials: 1,163 miles Pittsburgh: 1,147 miles

At the end of the day, I will have only run 16 fewer miles than I did in the 3 months leading up to the Trials. That doesn’t tell the whole story, though. That training window includes a 3 week period where I was dealing with a hamstring issue. If we look at the final 6 weeks of training, the mileage totals are slightly different:

Twin Cities: 505 miles Olympic Trials: 554 miles Pittsburgh: 565 miles

I have definitely come on stronger the last few weeks whereas in past training, I have struggled during taper to have motivation to run. At the end of the day, training and racing only produces more data, so it will be interesting for me to see how the increased mileage plays a role in the outcome.

I’m in the process of reading Deena Kastor’s Let Your Mind Run. This book could not have come out at a better time for me. I like to read during taper. Before Twin Cities, I read Once a Runner. Before the Trials, I read Suzy Favor Hamilton’s Fast Girl.

Deena’s positivity has helped me look at the last few months and reframe them. At one point I truthfully wondered why I was bothering to run this marathon when it didn’t seem like I was going to be in my best shape. I will be the first to admit that I struggle at times with perfectionism when it comes to running (seriously nothing else though. sometimes I wonder how I graduated college). Something that tremendously helped was when my coach reminded me this race doesn’t have to be perfect - it just has to be good, I’m already a pretty damn good runner.

Deena’s book inspired me to reframe a lot of the negative thoughts that have been holding me back lately. For instance, I have used one word to describe this training cycle: setback. I’m pretty sure I have uttered that word more times in the last 4 months than I have in my entire life. Instead of thinking about the things that have hindered progress, why not think of them as things I have overcome? At the end of the day, I have run a shit ton of miles after dealing with:

-a calf injury -a plantar injury -a hamstring injury -a badly infected blister -a couple illnesses -a post-tib issue -the worst case of eczema I’ve experienced in my 20′s -unmet expectations at races -new food sensitivities that undoubtedly contributed to the previous 8 items on this list

I prevailed despite all of these things. What’s so hard about a marathon after your toe doubles in size because it is infected and is so painful you have to drive barefoot in the middle of winter because your shoe is applying too much painful pressure on your toe when you hit the gas pedal?

Deena’s book is also helping me see the other things I do - the things that are easy to forget - that make me a better athlete. Joe Vigil has a quote that there is no such thing as overtraining, just underresting. I love that. This training cycle I have made it a point to:

-nap at least 60 minutes every day -eliminate foods that I know my body cannot tolerate (science is cool) -get a massage every 2 weeks -set up mental game sessions as needed -have increased contact with my coach -make dietitian appointments as needed -make visualization a priority -do daily yoga instead of one session per week -more core/lifting -practice race day [this training cycle I made it a point to practice getting up at 4 AM before a couple long run workouts so that I wasn’t in shock when I had to do it for the race]

There is no guarantee that any of these things are going to make a better runner; but, there was something that Des Linden said leading up to Boston that spoke to me: I could live with myself if I didn’t win Boston. I decided I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try. (referring to her training)

If I don’t reach my ultimate goal of breaking 2:30 in the marathon, I’ll live. But, as long as I am training I will have a hard time not doing everything in my power that I know will contribute to success. I often think of my mom telling me in high school (when I was half-assing my assignments) “if it’s a job worth doing, it’s a job worth doing well.”

The past week of workouts has been good. I’m not sure where the notion came from that taper weeks are easy. In reality, the lower mileage gives way to more intensity. Here’s what my week looked like:

M: off (first dasy off in 6 weeks!) T: AM: 4, PM: 12 mi total w/ 6 x mi @ marathon effort ending with a mile at half marathon effort W: AM: 10, PM: 6 Th: AM: 6 x 400 m @ mile race pace w/ full recovery, PM: 7 F: AM: 10, PM: 5 Sa: AM: 8, PM: 5 Su: AM: 16 mi cut down finishing in 5:44; PM: 4 mi shake out

Total for the week was 92, and I’m really happy with how my legs felt during that cut down. I remember that workout before Twin Cities and crawling through the shake out later in the day because my legs were trashed. The biggest difference I have noticed during the past 4 or 5 weeks is that my legs are recovering really well.

Today was my last big workout, and it was actually one I have never done before! The plan was 3 x 15:00 at threshold pace. While there is little fitness to be gained at this point, I’m so glad I did this workout because it was a huge mental win.

I went to the tow path for the workout, which is a crushed limestone path in Indy. I figured 15:00 should be roughly 2.5 miles. My plan was to do a 2.5 mi stretch, then a 2.5 mi loop through a neighborhood, then the 2.5 mi stretch back. I did not account for how much rain we have had lately, and the tow path was a muddy, sloppy, puddle-dotted mess. We also have had pretty cold weather, so today was quite the contrast with 60 degrees and 100% humidity / light rain. Fun fact: I have run in a sports bra and shorts once this year, and that was in February.

My superhero running strength is that I’m really good at not going out too fast, and at progressively picking up the pace in workouts as I go. Actually, when this doesn’t happen I generally know something might be wrong with me. Today was not that day.

My first mile of my first 15:00 was 5:49. This is not my threshold pace on a perfect weather day, and it’s definitely not my threshold pace on wet, muddy, soggy ground when I am slipping and sliding everywhere. My second mile was 5:46. I wound up covering 2.57 mi in 15:00 minutes.

My fatal flaw as a runner is that, when I see these splits, I feel as though I must continue getting faster. not the point of this workout. So, I convinced myself that I needed to slow down.

My first mile was 5:52 of the second 15:00 tempo. Honestly, my legs felt like garbage. I was running through a neighborhood on completely soaked streets trying to make turns and I ran way too hard in my previous effort. My quads felt like crap. My 2nd mile was 6:00. I panicked. Quads are heavy + slowing down. When was the last time I felt this way? Oh, right, when I was anemic in the fall. At 12:00 I just stopped running. I contemplated calling it a day and jogging back to my car. Actually, I convinced myself that was what I should do. If my quads are heavy, why add extra strain? Then I spiraled. What if I feel this way during the marathon and just walk off the course?

Finally I decided I was going to finish the workout no matter what, even if it meant running 6:30 pace. I took a couple minutes to regroup and decided the final tempo would be 18:00, to account for the 3 that I missed when I cut the second one short. I would start slow (closer to my actual threshold pace), and no matter what stick this one out. First mile: 6:07. Much better. Second mile: 6:02. 3rd mile: 5:55. So, I made a workout that wasn’t supposed to be hard much more difficult than it had to be.

But, I’m happy that it happened that way. It is very rare for me to have a bad day in practice. It’s even rarer for me to stop. I don’t get a lot of opportunities to practice bringing it back around and making the day successful. Having at least one experience like this going into the marathon is important, because if there is anything we’ve learned in the past 10 days, it’s that you can think you’re going to drop out of a race at half way, then find yourself becoming the first American in 33 years to win the Boston marathon.

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sajid-mughal · 4 years ago

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What to Know Before Going to a Dermatologist

Is it true that you are visiting a dermatologist interestingly, or intending to book your first dermatology conference? Visiting a Best Skin Doctor In Pune isn't actually similar to visiting your essential consideration doctor, and knowing all you require to know before your arrangement can make your first visit as smooth and beneficial as could really be expected.

What ould a patient know prior to going to a dermatologist? A patient ought to see precisely what a Dermatologist In Pune does and what they treat, and the indications that the time has come to get a master assist with your skin, hair or nails. At last, you ought to comprehend the most ideal approaches to get ready for the arrangement and the most well-known slip-ups to maintain a strategic distance from during the visit.

How Does a Dermatologist Respond?

Before you visit a dermatologist, you ought to see precisely what dermatologists do and how they help their patients. To put it plainly, dermatology is the investigation and treatment of medical problems identified with the hair, nails, skin, and mucous films.

The biggest organ in the body is the skin, covering the body's whole external surface and shielding it from injury and microorganisms. The soundness of your skin is the main line of guard of your body's wellbeing, which is the reason it is critical to keep it as solid as could really be expected. Dermatologists are the specialists who best comprehend the connection between the body and the Skin Specialist In Pune, and how even basic rashes and different conditions can be indications of genuine infections

So what are the most well-known reasons why individuals see dermatologists? As indicated by the American Academy of Dermatology, dermatologists can analyze and treat more than 3,000 conditions. The most well-known conditions that dermatologists treat are "restorative" like skin break out, or gentle issues that for the most part influence confidence and picture.

Here are some basic conditions dermatologists treat:

Acne

Acne scars

Eczema and dermatitis

Hair loss

Nail problems

Warts

Fungal infections

Skin cancer

Shingles

Rosacea

Psoriasis

Vitiligo

On the off chance that it is your first time seeing a dermatologist, you might need to have some thought concerning the specific motivation behind your visit, and whether this is inside the skill of your favored dermatologist.

Could a Dermatologist Really Help?

The greater part of us may just have experience managing general professionals or essential consideration doctors, and seeing an expert specialist like a dermatologist may want to take a pointless visit to a medical clinic or facility. Perhaps the most well-known inquiries we get from intrigued patients is, "Can a dermatologist truly assist with my condition? What would i be able to expect during my visit?"

Indeed, if your condition is identified with the skin, hair, nails, and the hidden association between these, at that point a dermatologist ought to have the high level information and prepare to analyze, treat, and help you.

Moreover, on the grounds that you may imagine that your condition is a corrective issue doesn't imply that it shouldn't be assessed by an expert. There are numerous situations where patients feel that an unexpected "pimple" may very well be another pimple, however winds up being an early skin malignancy.

Dermatologists are prepared to spot, analyze, and treat issues of the skin that different specialists probably won't get. Here are a few different ways that genuine conditions can be connected to a "restorative" condition:

Diabetes patients are half likelier to give indications of psoriasis

Skin inflammation patients are at high-hazard of creating genuine eye infections like waterfalls and glaucoma

Significant discouragement is generally connected to patients enduring serious skin break out

An abrupt and serious loss of fat around the face can be an indication of AIDS.

Normal Dermatologist Procedures

So how precisely do dermatologists treat both corrective and clinical issues? Dermatologists can utilize a scope of intrusive and noninvasive medicines. These medicines can be acted in an emergency clinic, however most dermatologists practice at a private center or office.

Probably the most widely recognized methodology performed by a dermatologist include:

Synthetic Peels: Using a substance answer for power the top layer of the skin to strip, permitting it to recover

Injury Excision: Lesions may should be extracted or taken out for an assortment of reasons, like the avoidance of sickness, restorative reasons, or anticipation of contamination

Microdermabrasion: Removing the skin's top layer to improve outward presentation

Laser Surgery: Laser, or light-based innovation used to treat wrinkles, scars, moles, tumors, eliminate tattoos, and the sky is the limit from there

Biopsies: Skin biopsies are performed when presumed conditions should be precluded or analyzed

Mohs Surgery: A specific malignant growth medical procedure, typically performed on the face, that includes eliminating destructive cells from the skin

Skin Grafts: Replacing missing skin with skin from different pieces of the body

Cryotherapy: A treatment for considerate conditions that uses fluid nitrogen to freeze and annihilate a particular influenced territory

Skin Resurfacing: Laser innovation used to make new, sound skin tissue to build collagen creation bringing about more youthful looking skin

Restorative Injections: The utilization of Botox and additionally dermal fillers to lessen scarring, wrinkles, and the presence of barely recognizable differences

When is it Time to See a Dermatologist?

Seeing a dermatologist interestingly probably won't be something that a great many people are slanted to do. You probably won't think you have a genuine condition or something to be stressed over, so you may very well really like to disregard the issue and let it mend all alone. So how precisely do you realize that the time has come to see a dermatologist?

In the event that you are asking yourself any of the accompanying inquiries, it very well may be an ideal opportunity to check in with a dermatologist:

When you start facing the problem of hair fall or you lost your hair it's time to visit the Dermatologist for Hair Transplant In Pune.

What is this difficult rash and is there any good reason why it won't disappear?

When over-the-counter creams or salves will not recuperate an obstinate rash, at that point it very well may be an ideal opportunity to book an arrangement. Diagnosing a rash yourself can be troublesome in light of the fact that most rashes appear to be identical to the undeveloped eye, though dermatologists are prepared to comprehend the various shapes and examples of rashes, and what those different rashes may be.

For what reason are my nails turning into an alternate tone?

Nail staining is habitually an indication of parasitic contaminations, albeit this can likewise be an indication of dietary lacks, maturing, drugs, and different illnesses. On the off chance that this happens to you, you'll need to visit a dermatologist to comprehend and treat your precise issue.

What is this new right on the money my body?

New moles or changes in old moles are signs that you need an expert assessment from a dermatologist. These can be indications of malignancy, and recognizing disease however right on time as conceivable seems to be the most ideal approach to overcome it.

Why has my skin gotten additional touchy and furthermore dry?

As you get more established, the insusceptible arrangement of your skin continuously debilitates because of ecological elements like dusts and UV beams. A yearly screening with a dermatologist is the most ideal approach to comprehend the specific reason for your skin drying out and getting touchy.

For what reason will not my skin break out?

The vast majority experience probably some type of skin inflammation, however for an unfortunate few, skin inflammation can stay longer than typical. In different cases, while your skin break out, it might likewise leave you with skin inflammation scarring. Dermatologists have skin inflammation medicines, meds, and items explicitly intended for any degree of skin inflammation or skin break out scarring.

How Do I Prepare for a Dermatologist Appointment?

1) Check with your protection supplier

Most protection plans covering dermatology visits however remember that corrective medicines, for example, CoolSculpting, Botox or other injectables, are likely not covered by protection.

Audit your health care coverage strategy or call your safety net provider before you book an arrangement to see any costs that might be related with your visit. Protection suppliers commonly give inclusion to therapies for constant skin conditions like psoriasis, skin inflammation, dermatitis, and malignancy. Other skin conditions that are commonly covered by protection incorporate contagious, bacterial or viral skin diseases, rashes, hives, hypersensitivities, and moles

2) Prepare your inquiries before

Start your visit knowing precisely what you might need to inquire. Make a full rundown of concerns, prior ailments, any medicine utilized, and family ancestry to give your primary care physician setting. Additionally notice any past skin sicknesses you've encountered, including occasional ones.

Posting your interests before your arrangement guarantees that you capitalize on your dermatological visit, rather than failing to remember your most pressing inquiries and just recalling them whenever you've ventured out of the facility.

With additional data arranged ahead of time, your dermatologist will have a superior comprehension of your clinical foundation, skin issues, and any medicines you've gotten, which will permit your PCP to give a treatment plan pushing ahead.

3) Don't expect handy solutions

Such a large number of patients go into dermatology centers figuring a brisk treatment or arrangement will totally change their skin. In case you're going through therapies for persistent skin conditions, expect some experimentation before you get the outcomes you really need.

Remember that various patients experience changing outcomes. Somebody with your careful skin type may get stunning outcomes in negligible time, while you may need to stand by weeks prior to seeing the smallest improvement. And, after its all said and done, in certain conditions, the most that your dermatologist could possibly achieve is simply getting your condition leveled out.

During your dermatology visit, consistently ask what you can anticipate from the treatment so you can set legitimate assumptions. Hope to book follow-up visits so your primary care physician can rethink your treatment design and choose if you need to add, eliminate, or trade any of your current prescription or dermatological strategies.

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