#so what does this mean? I CAN TAKE MY DVDS BACK TO MY APARTMENT !!!

[enthblaze]

did i spend all night figuring out this external cd extension just so i can watch tmnt? yeah.

[miss-fanfictions]

Sundays at the Library

Part Two

Pairing] Spencer Reader x glasses wearing! shy! librarian! fem!Reader

Synopsis] Spencer talks to the sweet librarian at his new library and slowly Sundays become his favorite day of the week.

Warnings] Cursing, creepy guy, misunderstandings (but its cute I promise), written from Spencer's POV

Word Count] 8.9k

Author's Note] This is my first fic here! I'm planning on doing a few more parts to this, so this is only the beginning 🙃

The first time Spencer saw you, the encounter wasn’t anything special. 

If he wasn’t working, he was reading, and because he can read 20,000 thousand words per minute, he needed new books often. Not even his FBI salary could afford the amount of books he consumed in a month and his cozy apartment certainly couldn’t contain them all. Already his bookcases were spilling out onto nearby surfaces. So to quench his constant need for new books, Spencer borrowed books from the library. However, since the one near his apartment closed just a week ago, he had to find a new one. That led him to drive to the library ten minutes away. 

It was larger than the one down the street from his apartment—it had a full three floors. Beyond the double doors, he followed two velvet rope barriers onto the main floor of the library, wandering past a grand front desk to his left to where the room divided into two sections and the barriers ended. In the left section, beside the desk, there were a couple computers set up, as well as two printers and a side wall dedicated to DVDs. In the other section there were tables and chairs set up for quiet studying, as well as more comfortable lounges for reading. Behind those two sections started the book shelves, nearly ceiling high and organized via genre and then further alphabetized. When he ascended the staircase at the back of the main floor, he found the upper levels were fully dedicated to rows of shelving containing books, interspersed with a few tables and lounges for reading. 

 He spent approximately 45 minutes getting the layout of the library, as large as it was, and finding the books he wanted to read. Of course, he got a range of books. Two books on psychology, a mathematical textbook, and another two books based in the sciences. A bit of light reading, really, just to occupy his time at home during a busy caseload week. 

He balanced the heavy books awkwardly in his arms as he made his way to the front desk, practically dropping them onto the counter. His lips twisted up in embarrassment, glancing around to see if anyone was disturbed by the loud clatter. When his eyes turned back to the desk, they met the bespeckled ones of you, the librarian, seated behind the counter. They were wide behind the frames, doe-like and startled by the noise. He winced and stuttered out an apology.

Too often he embarrassed himself due to his clumsiness. Over the years, Spencer got a lot better at the shooting range, but he still couldn’t run a mile without tripping a few times, or be able to participate in sports, and he didn’t even want to think about his driving. JJ often compared the experience of being in his passenger seat to riding shotgun with her senile grandmother. No matter what he did, the awkwardness crept in and all he could do was apologize. He didn’t mean to startle the nice librarian who he would seeing every week for the foreseeable future. 

“It’s fine,” your voice was a gentle whisper, perfect for the quiet of the library. You closed the book on your lap and placed it out of sight under the counter, standing up to help him. That’s when he could take you in completely, with your long flowy skirt and oversized sweater. Perhaps a shy attempt to battle the chill running through the library, or maybe a purposeful effort to hide yourself away from prying eyes. He could tell—despite your attire—that you were his age or maybe a little younger. You lacked the wrinkles, grays, and even the weathered dullness associated with age. Your hair was done up messily, effortlessly, and his eyes tracked your chewed up fingernails as you tucked a few strands behind your ears, out of the way of your eyesight. 

He thought you were plain and shy. The soft pastels and neutrals that colored your clothes and the fact the garments covered you so entirely, made you blend into the background. Had he not needed to speak to you directly, he might not have noticed you tucked behind the desk, folded up in your chair with your nose deep in a book. 

“Can I check these out for you?” You asked him, and he almost missed it due to both his staring and your airy cadence. 

“Oh, uh, yes,” he said, then quickly added. “And a library card, please. I’m new to this library.”

“I’ll just need an ID then,” you held out your hand while he rummaged through his wallet for his state ID, and when he placed it into your palm he was careful not to touch your hand. It was less about you as a person as it was his disdain for germs. 

You went about clicking and typing at the computer to the side of the desk, face plain as if whatever you were doing you had done a thousand times. Your nimble fingers only stuttered when you glanced back at him, catching his eyes as he watched you before he darted them away from your face, caught. Quickly, you grabbed the mouse, clicking only three more times before handing back his ID. He was careful not to touch your hand or meet your eyes as he took it back. 

He didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable with his staring, he had a habit of it, always trying to profile. But you were just a meek librarian, and there was no reason to take note of your behavior. You went about printing out a physical copy of his new library card, and he opened one of his books to occupy himself as you did so. 

When you turned back to him, you scanned a plastic card before offering it to him with a small smile. “Thank you,” he mumbled as you went about scanning the books on the counter with the same barcode reader. You were on the fourth book when your brows creased and you looked back up at him. 

“Are you studying?” You asked, the words sudden as if you couldn’t hold the thought off your lips. 

“No, this is just some light reading,” he answered politely, because it was. Though he forgot that was maybe not normal, because you giggled at his reply. 

The sound brought his eyes to your lips, the way they parted to let the breathy noise out. It was a unique giggle, though he supposed everyone’s is, but something about it suited you so completely. It was soft, and when he glanced around the library to see that no one else had heard it, he thought it was also just for him. There was no taunting, just joy that you emitted in the most delicate of sounds. If only he could understand what he did to extract it from you. 

“Right,” You said jokingly, and then he thought maybe you didn’t believe him, but he didn’t get a chance to assure you he was being truthful before you finished checking out the books. “Here you go, have a nice day, Spencer.”

He hesitated, thrown off by your use of his name, but cleared his throat and collected his books nonetheless. He thanked you and mumbled a brief goodbye as he did so, not looking back as he rushed out of the library. When he got to his car, he used a pack of disinfectant wipes on the books and set them up in his passenger seat, thoughts of the little librarian withering away to the casework waiting for him at work tomorrow.

—

He finished the books quickly, in only two days actually, but thankfully most of his time was taken up by his work. In his remaining free hours, he resorted to rereading a few books on his shelves. On Sunday, he collected his library books and drove the ten minutes back to his new library, exactly one week since his last visit. 

The inside was chilly and smelled like old paper and leather. There weren't many people he could see on the main floor, a few of what looked like college students spread out studying and some preteens huddled on the computers, whispering snarks and giggles. He walked up to the front desk, following the rug and the velvet rope barriers that led right to it from the entrance. This time he didn’t pass by the desk, but stopped at it to place down his books—quietly.

Your familiar framed eyes looked up at him, just as doe-like as surprise crossed them right before a smile took hold. Again, you closed the book in your lap, though this time Spencer caught a glimpse of its orange and yellow cover before you hid it from sight. He couldn’t make out the title. “Back so soon?”

It had been exactly a week since he’d seen you, and though he had not thought of you much since then, Spencer was incapable of forgetting a face. You looked just as you did last week—messy updo, baggy clothes, bare face. It seemed that was your natural state, or at least what you wore to work, but what Spencer wore to work was pretty much his normal wardrobe and he worked in the FBI, not a library.

“Yes, I need to return these books,” he told you, returning your smile with a quirk of his lips and placing his library card on top of the stack of books. 

When your eyes roamed back down from his to the five books, your brows furrowed. “Give up on studying then?” You asked, scanning the books back into the system. 

For a moment, Spencer was confused, then he recalled every word of your last interaction, and realized you still thought he checked the books out to study them, likely for some graduate classes, given his age. “No, I wasn’t studying them. I just needed a few books for casual reading after work.”

You paused once you turned to the computer, looking at him down your glasses. “Casual reading?” Your eyes went back between the thick books and his face, a smirk of disbelief growing. “You read all these books in a week?”

“Yes.” He shrugged. 

“For fun?” You had a skeptical eyebrow quirked.

“That’s what casual reading normally implies.” Spencer furrowed his brows at your line of questioning. Maybe most people wouldn’t read such topics simply for fun, but why would he lie about that? 

At that, you giggled again, a bird’s song, and resumed clicking at your computer. Your gentle laugh tickled something deep in his chest. Again, there was no malice or ill intent to it, not any that he could see behind your genuine eyes and smile. You simply thought he was a funny guy, and no one ever thought that of Spencer. He was too awkward, or too serious, or even too annoying to be fun. 

You took the stack of books in your arms, the pile reaching right up to your chin, and walked them to a cart behind you. When you turned back, you were still smiling sweetly at him. “Your light reading has been checked back in.” You slid his library card across the counter.

He plucked the card back off it with a thanks, tucking it into the pocket of his sweater vest. For a moment, he debated telling you about his PhDs, his eidetic memory, and maybe even his genius IQ because Spencer always felt the need to prove himself—to state facts—because he wasn’t the funny guy. He was very serious and all the things he was telling you weren’t just silly jokes. Then he worried he might wipe the smile right off your face, and he couldn’t let himself do that. So instead he gave you a stiff nod and continued into the library.

. . . Only to spin right back around, fist awkwardly pressed against his lips. “Oh, also, what is the maximum amount of books I could have checked out at once?”

You had just cracked the spine of your book again when you looked back up at him, a swirling look of confusion on your face. “Ten books, but you don’t have any out so I wouldn’t worry about it.” 

Spencer gave another nod, spinning back around on his heels and taking himself right up to the second floor of the library. He spent approximately 37 minutes collecting books from around the library, setting them aside at tables as he weaved through the rows of bookcases for the different genres. A wealth of knowledge in all areas was useful for his job, and also just for him personally. He found great pride in knowing many things, as annoying as others might find his incessant info-dumping. 

When he finished, he took a stack of books from the table and carried them down from the second floor, slowly stepping down the stairs and craning his neck around the stack to watch his steps. He could be uncoordinated at his best, so there was no need to tempt fate into sending him tumbling down the staircase by not paying attention. 

After successfully making it down, he took long strides to the main desk and set the stack down on the counter. Of course, you looked up at him again, however skipped surprise and jumped into an inviting smile. You closed your book and stood up, taking in the books he set in front of you. “Another five to check out then?”

“No, actually, I’ll be right back.” He turned away so fast he almost missed the way your smile faded and you leaned over the counter to watch him ascending the stairs again, spindly legs taking them two at a time.

He grabbed hold of the second tower of books, nearly dropping the top one in his haste to get back to you. After that he continued to take the stairs carefully even as he felt your eyes on him. Maybe especially because he felt your eyes on him, because if you watched him fall down the stairs he’d have to drive an additional ten minutes away to find another new library, because he certainly wouldn’t be able to look you in the eyes anymore. 

Beside the first stack on the counter, he set the second, then placed his library card between them. “This is it, I promise.”

Again, you glanced between him and the books, eyes bugging behind their glass shelter. After a moment or so, as if you were making sure he was serious (he was), you began scanning his card and the books. Despite the larger quantity of books, you were slower as you ran the barcodes on the back, taking the time to read the titles and authors. 

“Are you a graduate student?” You asked, looking at a book on human genealogy. 

Spencer twiddled his thumbs. “No, I’m finished with school for now, but I might go back for another PhD in the future when I have more time,” he answered honestly, the words flowing out quickly, even though he wasn’t sure why he was telling you that. Only about two percent of the U.S. population has a PhD, and an even slimmer percent had more than one. So it was an unusual thing to say.

He thought you might laugh again, or even question him, but you simply hummed and moved onto the next book, chewing your lip. “I’m in a graduate program for poetry,” your voice was quiet, as required by the library environment, but more so than usual, like you seemed embarrassed to share that information. 

It made sense you were a graduate student working in a library while earning your MA in writing. He wondered if you had plans for your degree beyond getting a slight pay increase as a librarian. There was a career as an author, or maybe you wanted to be a teacher or a professor, he could see you doing that, standing in front of a class in your skirts and sweaters pointing at a chalkboard with a ruler, though that image was outdated. More likely you’d be in front of a white board or presenting from a projector. 

“That’s interesting. I find myself reading a lot of nonfiction recently—it helps more with my job, though I also just enjoy facts and statistics—but I’ll always have a special appreciation for fiction. I’m fond of poetry in particular because it’s created for multifaceted analysis,” even in his own whisper, the words were breathy and fast. He had to catch his tongue between his teeth when he caught your eyes trailing back up to him. “What do you plan on doing with your degree?”

“Write poetry hopefully,” the words came out in a gust of wind and your eyebrows quirked up, as if you didn’t believe even your own dream. “Maybe you can analyze it one day.” You finished scanning out the books, putting them back into two neat piles as you did. You went about clicking at your computer, making sure the books were grayed out in the system, avoiding his eyes.

So you did want to be a writer then. He could easily see that as well. Though he got the sense you didn’t believe your aspiration was attainable, and it likely wasn’t due to lack of skill. He told himself he wouldn’t profile you, but he did it practically subconsciously. Your lowered gaze, modest clothes, shy smile, and even chewed nails all pointed to a lack of confidence in yourself. He wasn’t sure why. You were pretty in your own right, and were clearly intelligent and hard working if your pursuit of a masters degree said anything. If you needed a little encouragement, the least he could do was give it to you.  “I look forward to it,” he said, and he was just as sincere as he always had been. 

It only seemed to increase your embarrassment, causing your face to shy further away from his gaze. “Thank you, Spencer.” Even if you couldn’t look at him, your tone was of genuine appreciation, and if he tilted his head just right, he could see the wisp of a smile on your face.

He nodded with a tight lipped smile, staring at you while he waited for the conversation to continue, only to realize you’d finished with his books and it was over. His hands stuttered to gather up the first heap of books, muttering about how he’d be back. However he only got a few paces when he heard you say his name again, feet stopping dead.

“Would you like me to help you carry these out?” You were already trying to get a hold on the books.

Quickly, he shook his head. “No,” the words came out abrupt and firm, louder than he’d ever spoken before in the library, and you flinched. 

“You shouldn’t be following anyone out of here to their cars. This library has a disturbing lack of cameras and an abduction, even in a public area, can happen in less than ten seconds. It’s safest for you to remain in the library and follow the good practice of having someone walk you to your car after your shifts.” Spencer felt obligated to warn you strictly, because your distinct quietness and sweetness made you the perfect prey for the killers he hunted daily. 

Though he almost regretted it as he watched the way your hands retreated from the books, crossing around yourself, and the gentle smile became forced. “Oh. I–I guess I’ll keep that in mind.”

Spencer nodded and hesitated, but didn’t linger much longer before exiting the library and heading back to his car. He was quick to toss the books into his car, your tangled smile stuck in his mind. Was it an odd thing to say? He was only trying to warn you, to keep you safe. But the look on your face, you didn’t seem at all grateful for the advice. Spencer took brisk strides back to the library entrance. You were standing there behind the front desk, arms still crossed, a distant look on your face. When you heard him approaching the counter taking in breath just a little faster from boardline jogging back, you barely spared him a glance. He scared you a bit, he realized, and he didn’t want to leave you like that. 

He paused beside his leftover books, wetting his lips.  “I didn’t mean to scare you with what I said before.” He finally caught your eyes and you seemed to hear him out. “I work in law enforcement, for the FBI actually, and all too often I see cases of nice girls like you who go missing just because you want to help people. Unfortunately it’s a pretty common ruse. So, I—I didn’t tell you all that to make you worry, but because I want you to be safe,” he admitted, and your face softened again, your hands falling back to the counter. It brought a smile to his own face to see you relax your guard again. “It’d also be awful if my librarian went missing. Who will check out the heap of books I keep bringing you?” 

You giggled, your lips pulling into a toothy smile. “It’d definitely suck, but I’d hope you’d put those FBI skills of yours into finding me.”

Spencer chuckled, ducking his head into his chest to quiet the sound as he pulled his books into his arms. “Of course I would, and I wouldn’t stop until I did.” He was good at his job, he never stopped until he found their victim, their unsub. 

You bowed your own head, hand holding your glasses to keep them from slipping down your nose. “Goodbye, Spencer.” You gave him a small wave with the other hand, ending the conversation with averted eyes, but he still noticed the growing color in your cheeks. 

He fumbled with his own wave under the stack of books, really just an outward flash of the fingers he could manage to peel away for a second, and he was glad you weren’t looking at him with how awkward it was. He turned on his heel, pink growing in his own cheeks, and exited the library again for the final time today. The gears in his head grinded the whole way to the car and continued as he grappled to get into it and wiped the books with disinfectant. 

You lingered in his mind longer than a librarian should have. He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to warn you, to explain himself to you, or even comfort you. There was something about you, as meek and bashful as you were, that he found charming. Perhaps he saw himself in you, the insecurity. Or maybe it was how different you were from his job, where he was met with the most wicked minds and evil acts. You in comparison were the very image of innocence and life, in your pastel purples and yellows, lively eyes magnified behind glass, and your—your laugh. He liked your giggle. Even though he suspected at times it meant you didn’t fully believe him, he let you find him unserious, just so he could continue to hear that sweet sound tickle his ears in a way that scratched an itch inside him.

He was sitting in the parking lot staring out the windshield lost in his thoughts of you. When someone walked by, he found himself clearing his throat and finally putting his car in drive. You dissipated from his mind as he pulled out of the parking space because his Sunday at the library was over. 

—

It took five days for him to finish the ten books from the library. The team was in California from Tuesday through Thursday, but he took four books with him to read during his down time and while on the jet. He still ended up with spare time that he spent shopping with Penelope and babysitting Henry for JJ and Will’s date night. It was for this reason he was glad to be back in the library on Sunday.

Inside he was hit with the familiar crisp air and the vague smell of paper and coffee. The tables to the left had quite a few more students than usual, though there were not very many to start with previously. He wondered if a bout of exams were coming up. As Spencer neared the front desk, he could smell something else, a faint vanilla scent maybe.

You were there as always, standing this time, and almost leaning over the counter to see the door. You smiled when you saw him and he realized that you must be wearing perfume, because around you the vanilla air became thicker.

“Sunday at 11am. You're more reliable than my alarm clock,” you hummed cheekily.

Spencer set the books he held in his hands on the counter, his messenger bag following them up. “Having a routine is actually really good for you. It’s been proven to reduce anxiety and stress and also helps people to cope with certain mental illnesses,” he told you, pulling the rest of his books out of his bag.

If you were thrown off by his fact telling, you didn’t show it. “That makes sense. I like having a routine, but I’m pretty sure my friends think it makes me boring.”

Spencer dug around in his vest pocket for his library card, brows furrowing. “Why would you think that?”

You plucked it from his fingers, bringing it to the barcode reader without breaking your eye contact. “Because they say it to me all the time.”

“Oh,” Spencer snorted a little and clutched the strap of his bag closer. There’s something different about you today. You’re much more talkative and playful, but it’s also in your appearance too. Your glasses are still perched on your nose and your face is bare as it always is, but your updo is more put together, less stands fall away into your face. You wear another long skirt, but it's tighter, less flowy, and he can nearly make out the shape of your legs through it. You’re wrapped in a cardigan too, but where one side falls open he can see your tank top underneath and the sight of your skin has him clearing his throat and bringing his eyes back to your face. 

“And how was your recreational reading?” You’ve started to scan the books back into the system. “You must have been pretty entertained with ten books in seven days.” You state it like a fact, but your tone has a whimsical disbelief to it.

“Actually I finished them in five days,” he corrected with an incline of his head. 

You reply quickly, like the words were primed in your mind. “Then you should have come back sooner.” Under the teasing, you sound serious, looking up from the books at him, lashes fluttering against their glass encasement. 

“I would, but I’ve been pretty busy at work.” He was too. He would spend hours in the library reading if working at the BAU didn’t take up so much of his time. He loved his job of course, and he wouldn’t have it any other way, but what is someone with his talents to do but hole himself up gorging every book he can get his hands on. Spencer had a thirst for knowledge, that’s why he wanted to be in the library so much. 

“Well, that’s too bad then. What do you do for work?” Your head tilts with interest and he almost mirrors the movement, brows furrowed. 

 “I told you—I work for the FBI. Specifically, I’m an agent in the Behavioral Analysis Unit.” He has an eidetic memory which means he can remember every word you’ve said to him and every word he’s ever said to you, so he knows he’s told you this before. Of course he knows people forget things, but they also normally remember when he tells them he’s in the FBI.

Your face falls a bit and you chew your bottom lip, brows creasing. “Oh. . . right.” You finish scanning the last book quickly, gathering a couple into a pile to carry to a cart behind you. 

Spencer’s not exactly sure what he’s done to upset you, but his fingers twitch with the itch to fix it. Unfortunately, he’s got the idea his job is what makes you so uncomfortable. It wouldn’t be the first time someone was unsettled by the fact he carried a badge and gun, or that he had the authority to arrest people. But you had joked about it last week, possibly were soothed by the fact he was a cop after his blunt and maybe eerie warning. So why were you suddenly so upset with him? 

The thought occurred to him then that  maybe it was because you didn’t completely believe the things he was saying. Not only that, but you were no longer finding whatever game you think he’s playing by telling you those things to be funny. As you carry the rest of the books back to the cart, he fidgets with his fingers, wondering if it was time to show you proof of what he’s been saying. Or did you really even care? Maybe he was wrong and you would be even more frightened by him presenting you with his badge. Was it odd to flash his FBI credentials at his librarian? That was all you were after all. He didn’t even know your name.

You were back to clicking at the computer when you glanced at him. “They’re all checked in.”

Spencer froze as you pulled him out of his thoughts, his hands locking in the joints before dropping to his sides into fists. That was your cue for him to leave. “Right, thank you.” He went to walk away, but his feet were stuck. “. . .thank you, um, I just realized I don’t know your name.”

You didn’t have to tell him, you could have brushed it off. You were just the librarian and one didn’t need to know the librarian's name, but you looked back at him again, eyes studying his face. Then, you murmured your name so softly he almost leaned in to hear it louder. Soundlessly, he let your name ghost over his lips.

He used it as he thanked you one last time, certainly overkill but it seemed like the only correct way to exit. Although he only got a few feet before he heard you call his name.

“Spencer, wait!” You didn’t yell, he’s never heard you yell, but your voice was the loudest he’s ever heard it. You always spoke in a whisper or a hushed tone, but your voice was nearly normal when you called him back. The urgency of it had him back in front of you in just two strides.

You dipped beneath the counter and when you came back up you placed a basket on it. “When I used to go on picnics to read in the park, I used this basket. Well, I haven’t gone in a long time actually, but I thought maybe you could use it for all the books you check out,” you were bashful, tilting your head down and only sparingly meeting his eyes. Spencer was in shock, all he could think about was how this was one of the nicest things someone’s ever done for him. You gave him whiplash with how quickly you seemed to forgive whatever trespass he committed against you. He wondered even if he exaggerated the interaction in his head. 

The basket was woven, made from wicker, and had two handles at the top. It was rectangular in shape, pretty deep, and large for a picnic basket, he thought, big enough for fruits, pastries, sandwiches, and maybe more. It was a very nice basket, and the thought that you were giving it to him made his heart ache the most. You’d considered him, truly sat down and thought about him and then decided you were going to gift him a solution to his awkward problem. Not often did people solve his problems, it was always the other way around.

“Wow,” his finger grazed the side, considering the cost such a nice piece must be. “Are you sure? I really couldn’t take your basket it’s—”

“I don’t use it anymore,” you interrupted him for the first time. He realized that you never cut him off, you had always listened to him. “You can have it. . .” Your face was kind, then suddenly dropped into a panic. “Only if you want it of course! You don’t have to take it. I guess it’s kind of silly, carrying a picnic basket in a library. . .” You started to pick your nails, not meeting his eyes.

“I don’t think it’s silly,” he assured you quickly, leaning just a bit closer so he could catch your eyes again. “Thank you so much. Now I don’t have to worry about falling down the stairs or taking two trips to my car.” 

Your smile returned with a breathy chuckle. “Yeah, you kind of made me nervous going down the stairs like that with all those books. You don’t strike me as very. . . coordinated.”

“Ouch,” Spencer said, though he smiled back at you. You’d read him there, he was not very coordinated at all. Knowing physics was one thing, existing smoothly and with grace on the physical plane was another. 

“Sorry,” you shrugged half heartedly.

“No, you’re right. Thank you for the basket and uh, I’ll be back,” he waved you goodbye as he walked toward the stairs and you fluttered your fingers back at him. 

Spencer took exactly 52 minutes and 34 seconds adding books to his new basket. He got a few stares and side glances as he toted it around, mainly from a group of teenagers huddled at a miniature table and chair set in the children’s section. They snickered as they peeked up from their circle at him, but it wasn’t anything Spencer wasn’t used to. All his life people had laughed at him for a variety of reasons—he was too scrawny, too small, too bumbling, too nerdy—the list was miles long. All he could do was grow thicker skin, and he had. So he didn’t let it bother him as he wandered the library, adding books to his basket. 

No, the reason Spencer took so long to pick books was because each time he slipped one into a wicker embrace, he thought of you. He blinked and saw your face like a phantom burned into his retinas. The way the corners of your mouth twisted in your smile when you were so excited to give him the basket flashed and faded in his vision. Sometimes he cursed his eidetic memory because he’d memorized your face in its entirety with all its most miniscule details and peculiarities—and he didn’t even mean to. He would find himself staring into the empty space in the basket and have to drag his brain clawing back into reality.

His watch had ticked past 12 when he made his way back down the stairs to the main floor, lugging his basket in his right hand. It was heavy, weighed by two textbooks and eight other decently thick books, but the woven willow held strong. 

At the landing he could see across the library that you were already checking someone out. He meant to add himself to the queue, but pivoted to a lounge chair between two bookcases just as he got close enough to hear your voice. Immediately he felt wrong, a churning disgust with himself in the pit of his stomach. It was weird, wasn’t it? To watch you from afar just to gauge your behavior? But he had to know, it burdened his brain to wonder if you were just so saccharine it spilled out to everyone around you or if particularly you poured your sugar onto him.

You didn’t see him duck between the shelves to the lounge chair, not in any way that he could tell. With a tranquil neutral face you scanned the book that the college girl at the counter placed in front of you. The interaction was done in comfortable silence, even when you finished the transaction and she said her thank yous, you merely mumbled a “you’re welcome.”

It was different from how you interacted with him, he realized. You were much more playful and chatty with him, but he wasn’t sure what exactly inspired it in you. You were clearly shy, maybe anxious, but in some moments it faded when you talked to him. He didn’t think he said anything particularly special, but thinking you saw something in him that made you so comfortable, so cheerful, made his stomach flip in a way he couldn’t understand.

The next man in the queue placed his book on the counter. He was the only other person waiting. You asked him absent-mindedly for his library card. He was older than you and Spencer, mid to late 40s if Spencer had to guess, but it gave him an idea about how you interacted with men as well. Which was just as bland as your interaction with the college girl before you. Spencer had a fleeting thought that maybe—just maybe—you liked him. Why else would you be so inclined to laugh with him? To be so shy sometimes you couldn’t meet his eyes? He’d read books, watched movies, and he knew the signs. He was just not used to spotting them in women interacting with him.

He cleared his throat as if to shake off the idea. It was vain, and in all likelihood an arrogant over analysis of the little interaction he’s had with you. He was about to get up and put himself in line behind the man when he heard his lurid voice croak out.

“How about you give me a smile, pretty?”

Spencer froze in place, white knuckle grip engraving the grooves of the entwined handle into his palm. Something like anger flared in his chest. It grew hotter as he saw the way you bowed your head even further from the man's sight, pulling your cardigan closer around your body.

“Um, yeah, could I just get your library card?” You squirmed under his leering gaze, lips faintly curling into the most awkward half-smile you could muster. 

Despite the way you clearly showed you were in duress, the man leaned closer over the counter. “My name’s Todd.” He slid his book across the counter to you like that tidbit of information helped any. “I’ll take this book and your number, baby.” Spencer’s jaw clenched.

His body tingled with the readiness to step in, to tell this Todd fucker to leave you be because obviously you weren’t interested. But his mind, the logical side of him, stopped him because Spencer also respected you and your autonomy. He was not an expert on women, but he knew quite a few strong women in the BAU who would be offended if he stepped in to defend them when they were capable of doing it themselves. He definitely didn’t want to offend you if you were able to brush off Todd on your own.

The uncomfortable smile dropped to a grimace. “If I could get your library card. . .” Your hand hesitantly reached for the book only for Todd to grasp your wrist in a tight hand.

“Stop asking for the damn card,” his voice dropped into a growl. “Baby, I’m just trying to talk to you.”

Your arm fought to pull your hand back behind the counter, but Todd’s grip tightened and pulled back to keep you close. “Sir!” Your voice pitched higher, eyes widening almost too big for their frames. “Sir, please let go—”

Todd huffed, face screwing up in frustration. “Why’re you being so difficult?”

“Sir, you’re hurting her and you need to let go now.” Spencer practically flew over to the front desk. It was his instincts as an FBI agent kicking in. The need to de-escalate and protect was driving him. This man was now hurting you and he was not going to allow it to go any further.

Todd’s scowl looked Spencer up and down, assessing whether or not he could take him. He must have come to the conclusion Spencer was not a threat because he puffed up his chest and continued gripping your wrist. However, he was so distracted by Spencer, you were able to yank your arm away, rubbing at your wrist with your free hand. Todd shot you a similar glare before leveling his even angrier gaze back on Spencer.

“We’re just having a conversation here, asshole. So why don’t you get back to your books,” Todd barked at him so loud they had now attracted all the eyes in the library. But Spencer was only looking over at yours—your creased brow and the watery worry the glass highlighted. 

“Spencer, it’s—” You didn’t get to finish as Todd whirled his head between you and Spencer. 

“Spencer? No fucking way this wimp is your boyfriend.” Behind the rage, Todd looked almost smug.

But Spencer wasn’t. He hit his own boiling point and was passed asking politely. He pulled his credentials from his pocket and flipped them open in Todd’s face. “No, I’m the FBI agent who is going to arrest you for harassment, assault, and public disturbance if you don’t get out of this library right now.”

Todd’s head reeled back at the badge in his face, eyes squinting between the lettering and Spencer’s face. Realization of how much shit he was in passed briefly over Todd’s face before reverting to his glower. He must not have wanted trouble with the FBI though, because he started taking steps backwards toward the exit. But he couldn’t leave with a completely bruised ego.

“Whatever man. If you want the uppity bitch so bad you can have her!” Todd slammed open and closed the door as he made his grand exit. The entire library watched it, listening to him as he got his last dig in and fleeing before Spencer could make him eat his words. He didn’t have his cuffs or gun on him, but he’d dealt with enough unsubs to know he didn’t need them to handle Todd. 

When all the eyes slowly went back to their business, sure that Todd wasn’t coming back into the library, Spencer’s gaze returned to you. Your eyes were dinner plates, mouth agape, still clutching your wrist.

Spencer frowned, whispering your name. “Are you okay?”

“You’re an FBI agent. . .” The words slipped out of you in one shocked exhale. His brows furrowed. He just rescued you from an arrogant asshole and that was what you were stuck on, something he’d told you several times.

“Yes? But I told you—” 

“You were serious?” Your head bobbed forward in disbelief. So you really hadn’t been believing what he was saying. 

“Of course, why would I lie about that?” Spencer was confused and deep down a little hurt. It was such an odd thing to lie about to a stranger, he didn’t understand why you thought he wasn’t truthful. 

“I–I don’t know,” your eyes bounced around in a panic. “I thought you were just trying to impress me. I mean—you don’t really look like an FBI agent you’re. . . young? I don’t know, I thought you were flirting with me so I—” Your hand clasped over your mouth. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry, sir—agent—”

“Spencer.”

“What?”

“Call me Spencer,” he gave you a tight lipped smile, a near look of pity on his face. Your complete panic reassured him you were just as embarrassed over the miscommunication as he was. “Technically it would be Doctor, since I have three PhDs—but you can just call me Spencer.”

“But—But I didn’t. . . you were being serious the whole time and I. . .” You stuttered, shaking your head in confusion. “I was so unprofessional. . .”

Spencer chuckled, unable to hold it back. “Unprofessional? Just because I’m an FBI doesn’t mean I can’t like to talk to people. And I like talking to you, you don’t have to be embarrassed about it.” His disappointment dissipated quickly. Your shyness and embarrassment was so genuine and charming he couldn’t find the space to be upset with you beside all his amusement. 

You crossed your arms, somehow becoming even more bashful. “You’re sure it's okay?”

“Of course it's okay.” Spencer grinned.

A small sigh of relief breezed past your lips. “Okay. . . I should—I should definitely apologize for not believing you.” You meet his eyes then with such profound remorse. “Because I am really sorry. It’s just. . . your accomplishments seemed so amazing they were kind of hard to believe, especially for someone so young.”

It was Spencer’s turn to become bashful. His head ducked and he laughed quietly. “I guess they can be hard to believe. Especially when you aren’t meeting me at work. I just thought maybe all the books helped prove it.”

You let out a shaky laugh, eyes wandering back down to the countertop. “I kinda thought that was also to impress me. I didn’t really think you were reading all of them.”

“Well. . . I do.” He shrugged, figuring you had to believe him now. As you smiled at him, he realized he left his basket and books back at the chair. “Speaking of reading, I’ll be right back.”

You eyed him as he retrieved the basket and set it on the counter in front of you along with his library card. “Oh, were you sitting over there?” You looked curious. Certainly you hadn’t seen him sitting there today or anytime before.

Spencer coughed into his fist. “Um, just for a second.” He moved on quickly, removing the books from the basket. “Thank you for this again, by the way, it’s so much easier to carry all the books.”

You hummed, eyebrows jumping up. “Yeah. . . I’m having trouble believing I really gave an FBI agent a picnic basket to carry books in.” You started swiping the books over the barcode scanner, adding them back into the basket once they appeared on the computer screen next to you.

He cracked a half smile. “I think you watch too many movies. We’re not as serious as you think we are.” Hotch’s face flashed in his eyes and he thought maybe they were pretty serious, but not off duty. Hotch could also be serious enough for the whole team sometimes, so maybe he wasn’t a very good example. “And I like the basket. It was nice of you to think about me.”

Your eyes caught on his for a moment, glazed over in thought, so deep you bumped the basket as you went to set the book you held into it. It snapped you back into reality and you watched your hand as you tucked away the book, clearing your throat. “You’re sure it’s not weird?”

Spencer’s head tilted to the left, considering you. He didn’t know what he could do to pull you back from this rut of self-consciousness. He was starting to regret ever pulling out his badge because now you seem standoffish in a way you never were with him before. He wanted to go back to when you laughed and smiled at him and didn’t find him intimidating. “Of course it’s not,” he paused a moment, wetting his lips. “And this isn’t weird either, y’know? Me being in the FBI? I’m still Spencer.”

You looked back at him again, eyes searching his face. “I know that. I’m. . .” You stared at him a second longer, taking in a deep breath and releasing it with a smile. “I’m letting it sink in.” You continued scanning the books quietly, not meeting Spencer’s eyes as he absentmindedly picked at a loose string in his pocket.

His thumb brushed against his FBI credentials and the encounter just before this revelation came flooding back. He glanced over at the double doors as if to make sure Todd had not come back, though Spencer already knew he didn’t. 

“Are you okay?” You met his eyes, brows pulled together. “About before—with that guy?”

“Oh.” You shrugged, rolling your wrist unconsciously. “Yeah, I’m fine. We get one of them every now and again. Normally they’re pretty harmless.” A glimmer of realization passed over your face. “Um, thank you! I should have said that before. Not everyone would have done that.”

Spencer shook his head, waving off your thanks. “Of course. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.” He was again reminded of the fact he was not a woman, and even though his job was to put away serial killers—monsters, creeps, pervs—he couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be in your shoes. You shook it off well, but he didn’t doubt you were scared in the moment. Probably wondering how far he would take it, whether your reaction was appropriate, if your employer would be angry at you. He was just glad he was there to step in.

Slowly, you finished scanning all the books, tucking them neatly into the basket in an organized order he thoroughly appreciated. Heaviest books sat at the bottom and lighter books were stacked on top of them. You paused, flipping through the last book in your hand, a biography of Max Born, a German-British physicist. 

“So. . . you really do read 20,000 words per minute?” You had a cheeky grin as you peeked up at him from beneath those frames, and suddenly you were back. Spencer smiled.

“Yup. I also have an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory.” He shrugged as if it was no big deal.

You giggled, nodding along. “Right. Well then I guess this isn’t even enough books for you.” A finger waved over at the basket.

“It depends on work, actually. I’m usually busy, but I often have to travel too and then I become really busy so I don’t have time to read,” he explained. When he did sit down to read, he could get through one to three books, depending on their volume. “But yeah, ten books in a week is kind of light.”

You tapped the book in your hand with your thumbs, thinking. “Okay.” Suddenly you dropped the book into the basket, dipping below the desk to set another book in front of him. Examining it, he realized by its orange and yellow coloring it was the same book you had been reading the last time he was in the library. It was The Poetry of Pablo Neruda and from the look of its creased spine and faded orange cover, it was well loved. “You should read this too then.”

Spencer turned the book over in his hands, looking at you with a twisted face of confusion. “But the check out limit is ten books?”

You shook your head, gesturing for him to add it to the basket. “It’s not a library book,” when he still looked puzzled, you continued. “It’s my book. You can borrow it from me.”

Your kindness and generosity was both shocking and overwhelming. Spencer wasn’t sure how he was to thank you for being so gracious to him. He could only think of one thing. So he quickly fumbled his wallet up onto the countertop. “You have to let me give you something for this—”

“Spencer,” as you said his name, your hand covered his as he dug for bills to give you. “You don’t owe me anything.”

He shook his head, bewildered. Not only was your kindness startling, but so was the feeling of your hand on his. He had to stop his body from flinching at the contact. He was mostly uncomfortable at the thought of people touching him, but your palm was warm, soft, and offered the most comfort he’d felt in a while. “The basket and the book? It’s too much. I mean. . . you’re too nice.”

Your lips spread into a bright smile, flashing him your teeth. “Just bring me back your analysis. I’d love to hear what an IQ of 187 can cook up. Deal?”

Spencer laughed, ducking his head as he nodded in agreement. “Deal.”

When the laughter faded and his head came back up, he looked at you for a while longer, just feeling the paperback cover underneath his fingertips. You met his eyes just for a few moments, twiddling your own fingers. “So um, see you next Sunday?” You asked. He dared to see hope in your eyes.

“See you next Sunday,” Spencer agreed again. He hesitated putting the book in his new basket then finally left the front desk, waving you goodbye as he did. He watched over his shoulder you return his wave as he exited through the double doors. 

Spencer walked back to his car practically swinging the basket, so in his head he didn’t even realize he still had a smile on his face. He set The Poetry of Pablo Neruda aside as he disinfected his books and wondered what he would do the rest of his day off. What he was sure of, deep in his chest, was that he was excited for next Sunday. 

-

Part Two

[jellybelly-may]

❝𝐓𝐨𝐤𝐑𝐞𝐯 𝐒𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬!❞

Kawata Twins (with a younger sibling!) [platonic!]

"gah! stop it nahoya! souya help me!!"

cw: smiley being smiley

✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.

General Hcs:

If you think the Haitani’s were protective

Think again

The twins will need to know your whereabouts, locations, or heck even escort to wherever you wanna go

As the youngest sibling, you’re the precious baby sibling of the Kawata twins, and they take their role seriously

always on high alert when it comes to your safety

calls you “Squirt” because you’re the youngest and smallest

The twins will play harmless pranks on you like switching places to see if you can tell them apart

You’ve gotten so good at recognizing the subtle differences that you can always tell who’s who, much to their frustration and to your delight

ofc there’s always some sibling rivalry between the three of you

video games, racing bikes, or even who can eat the most ramen 

You name it, you’ve done it

movie nights! the three of you have a tradition of watching movies together on weekends

Smiley always picks action movies, Angry prefers emotional dramas, and you’re stuck in the middle, trying to find a compromise

In the end, you usually end up watching a mix, with lots of popcorn and commentary from Smiley and loud yips from your pet dog pomeranian (check smiley’s official character book about the dog)

Matching accessories!!!

The three of you have matching bracelets that Smiley insisted on getting.

it’s a silent reminder that your brothers are always with you, even when they’re not physically around

✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.

Nahoya/ Smiley 😆

teasing galore from this a-hole

loves to tease you endlessly, especially about your height or how you look up to him (literally and figuratively)

despite his constant teasing, you know it’s all in good fun

if someone else tries to tease you, he’s the first to step in

definitely has a soft spot for his siblings

shows it through his protective actions, like checking in on you more often than needed

probably forces you to learn how to ride a motorcycle “in case of emergency!” he says :D 

laughs at you when you stall the bike 

also probably teaches you how to fight 

“for fun!” :D 

✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.

Souya/ Angry 😡

the one to patch you up! surprisingly good at it too!

when nahoya is teasing you, souya tries to defend you

but ends up getting teased as well

like nahoya, souya is protective of you too

he may not be most talkative compare to his brother

angry quietly leaves snacks or small gifts in your room when you’re feeling down

or he will silently sit with until you feel better 

souya’s has a knack for fooling people too!

especially you 

“who ate my ramen? :c ”

“probably ‘hoya, saw him going through the pantry >:c ”

with his serious expression, you always fall for it 

until you notice his minor gesture he does when he lies

asshole

don’t be mad though! he buys back more snacks for you to replace the ‘missing’ food

✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖°.

Bonus scene:

Movie nights at the Kawata household were always...lively.

The three (more like two) are in full-on bickering mode as you all scramble to prepare snacks and argue over what to watch. In the middle of it all, PomPom, your family's Pomeranian sits on the couch, tilting its head in curiosity at the chaos unfolding around it.

Nahoya grins widely, holding up two action DVD's.

“C’mon, let’s just watch something exciting! This one’s got explosions!” He waves the DVDs at you and Souya, clearly excited.

“I mean, who doesn’t like a good explosion?”

You roll your eyes while searching through the pantry for snacks.

“Yeah, 'hoya, but we’ve seen that one, like, five times already! Besides, it’s my turn to choose, and I want to watch something funny.”

Nahoya groaned at your response.

Souya softly mutters while carefully pouring popcorn into a bowl.

“Anything but horror, please. I won’t be able to sleep for a week…”

Nahoya laughs and ruffles his twin's hair. “Afraid of ghosts, huh? Fine, no horror.”

He pauses, looking at you with a mischievous grin. “But we’re still watching something action-packed. No arguments!”

Grabbing a bag of chips, you narrow your eyes at Nahoya.

“Who made you the boss of movie night?! I’m picking comedy! PomPom agrees with me, right?”

You glance at the small Pomeranian, who simply yips energetically from the couch, clearly excited but having no idea what’s going on.

With a rare smile, Souya offered PomPom a piece of popcorn. "PomPom’s vote doesn’t count. Besides, I’d rather watch something calm, not too loud.”

Nahoya snatches the remote with his trademark grin. “Too bad! Action it is—majority rules!”

He gestures dramatically toward PomPom. “Me and PomPom, we’re a team!”

You chased after him. “Not fair! PomPom just wants snacks!”

Souya sat on the couch with PomPom by his side, his expression serious but soft.

“How 'bout this? Action-comedy. No explosions, just funny fights.”

The peach-haired boy pouts slightly but shrugs. “Fine, fine, I’ll allow it. As long as there’s a little action.”

You grinned and tossed a chip at Nahoya.

“Deal! Let’s finally settle on something before PomPom falls asleep waiting.” With a truce in place, the three of you settle on the couch with snacks in hand.

The movie starts rolling and for once, the chaos subsides as you all enjoy the night, occasionally laughing or teasing each other during the best scenes. PomPom snuggles into a blanket, letting out a content sigh, clearly the happiest with the arrangement.

[alexanderwales]

The second chapter of Save the Cat! is about genre, titled "Give me the same thing ... only different!". The general principle is one that I strongly agree with, even if I don't always practice it in my writing: you must know how and why things work in fiction, you must be a student of the realms you're writing in, you must give your own twists on clichés if you think you might be writing them, and must be familiar with clichés so that you don't end up boring people. Study things that are like the thing you're trying to create. Analyze them, take them apart, understand how they work or don't work.

But then a lot of the chapter is taken up with Snyder's own system of ten genres, and when I was reading it I wanted to just stop him and say "hey, what the fuck, did you even watch that movie?"

Also I laughed for like five minutes at him putting Schindler's List in the "Dude with a Problem" genre, even though I agree that according to his typology it completely fits.

I'm a huge fan of making up arbitrary categories and then stuffing things into them. I don't think it's often very useful, no, but it's fun, and when you're done shoving things into boxes, you can pull them back out, find a new set of boxes, and repeat the process. I'm not going to repeat Snyder's categories here, but I think they kind of suck, and don't accurately reflect genre as we understand them, and the whole thing would have been better off is it was taking story archetypes and saying why they work and then what the usual deviations from them were.

Here are two examples that I take issue with, among others. First, by his accounting Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is a "Golden Fleece" movie, the kind of film centered around a hero's journey where what he ends up finding is, ultimately, himself, and every set piece along the way is important only in the way it relates to the hero's self-acceptance or whatever.

No. Wrong. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is very very clearly a "Buddy Love" under this system. Look at this fucking image:

Could this DVD cover make this any more obvious? Literally all the promotional material is like this. It even says in the book that most "Buddy Love" movies start with the "buddies" disliking each other, and that their relationship is central to the movie. And if Snyder is getting this wrong, what else is he getting wrong about his own system?

Example two. I'm just going to quote it in full:

Now look at The Matrix and compare and contrast it with the Disney/Pixar hit Monsters, Inc. Yup. Same movie.

Fucking what do you mean.

Under this system of genres, Monsters, Inc. is very clearly another "Buddy Love" movie. There's a kid they have to deal with, but most of the movie is grounded in the relationship between Mike and Sulley. Like, what's the low point of the whole movie? They get banished to the Himalayas and then have a big fight! It's about their relationship to each other!

(I looked this up on the savethecat website and found an article claiming that it's an example of "Monster in the House", which is fucking stupid, because what's the monster and what's the house? Just does not apply. The child is takes the role of the "monster" for such a small amount of the movie, then they're looking after her and trying to return her home, and even before that it's not relatable as a monster to the audience. Blake Snyder didn't write the article, so maybe he had something different in mind.)

Meanwhile, The Matrix most closely falls into either "Dude with a Problem" (ordinary man thrust into extraordinary circumstances) or "Superhero" (extraordinary man in ordinary circumstances) and I would argue that it's actually neither of those because it's a goddamned hero's journey and those are their own thing and it makes no sense to try to split them into two parts because you don't get more explanatory power of what's working and what's not. His analysis of what he calls "Superhero" films also sucks for that reason and just totally misses the mark about what makes them tick.

So how are these the same movie? I don't know, it probably made sense to Blake Snyder. I have done my due diligence and searched for answers online, but haven't found much, just some weak ass defenses.

Also, I really hated that he says Chinatown and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? are basically the same movie because no shit. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? is a parody of noir, and was adapted from the script for a never-produced third film in what was supposed to be a Chinatown trilogy. But even then, I don't get how you can say they're the same movie without pointing out the strong "Buddy Love" through line in Roger Rabbit!

This whole chapter was a total miss for me. Decent advice at the start that I've been hearing and preaching for a long time, but this typology sucks and he doesn't even seem to understand it (or the movies he's putting in it) very well. And since the typology sucks, it's a bad lens for understanding the underlying rules of writing, of story structure, the components of story, etc.

[sofmoth]

Smooth Stuff

for her birthday, @strang3lov3 challenged me to write dennis reynolds, and to use his DENNIS system on the reader. naturally i’m nervy because who can do dennis but glenn howerton honestly??? and genuinely not to suck myself off but i feel like i met the brief LMAO

this is for all us dennisfuckers, dennisfucker nation stand up!!!

also posted to AO3 by me (@sofmoth), link here.

divider created by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

dennis reynolds x reader. WC: 2.3k

DO NOT BOTHER INTERACTING IF YOUR BIO IS AGELESS OR BLANK.

18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED ON SIGHT.

HEED ALL WARNINGS:

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. dennis is a literal sociopath, dennis is manipulative, dennis manipulates reader for sex, dubcon, reader is psychologically tortured, sober sex with a drunk person, reader gets drunk, canon-typical dennisisms, no confirmed relationship, use of the DENNIS system, smut. once more for the cheap seats, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT.

“My name’s Dennis, I’m collecting donations for the Boys & Girls Club.”

That’s how it started. He’d come in to ask if there were any old toys your store was about to throw out, and if you would consider donating them instead. Unfortunately not, you’d told him, but you were pretty sure you had a phone number he could call and he might have some luck with that. You’d written it down on a Post-It for him with the name of the person he should ask for, and then you handed him a Post-It with your name and number. You’d never been so bold before; something about him inspired that in you.

He called you every other night, and you talked for a few hours each time. It felt like nothing, talking to Dennis was as easy as breathing. He was charming, and funny, and he actually listened to you bitch about the day you had at work instead of interrupting every 38 seconds to talk about himself. Friday night, near the end of your call, he asked if you’d ever been to a restaurant called Guigino’s. He’ll be taking you on Sunday.

You don’t know why you’re so nervous walking to the restaurant with him; you’ve gotten pretty comfortable with him over the phone. He can probably sense your anxiety, hooking his arm into yours as you walk. You hear it before you see it, Dennis groans and you look up. A sign on the door reads CLOSED, and Dennis holds his face in his hand. He sighs, biting the inside of his cheek.

“Unbelievable, I’m sorry. How about we take a rain check on this? We can grab a pizza or something and head back to my place, watch a movie? My roommate’ll be there but he keeps to himself. If that’s okay with you, of course.” You hum, bite your lip.

“Okay. It’s still Italian.” You stifle a nervous giggle and Dennis chuckles, wrapping his arm over your shoulder as you continue down the street.

As the apartment door opens you can see a man sitting on the couch, reading a book with the TV barely on. He must be Dennis’s roommate. Dennis clears his throat.

“Hey man. Do you mind taking that to your room? The restaurant was closed, we’d like to… y’know, get to know each other a bit. In private.”

“I’m not going in there.” Dennis’s jaw twitches.

“Why not?”

“I saw a black widow. I’m not going back in there.”

Dennis sighs, looks over at you.

“I mean, I guess we could take this to my room? Eat on the bed, watch a DVD in there?” You nod and he relaxes, smiling at you.

You sit on top of his covers with the pizza box between you, eating absently as you attempt to follow the movie. You’re not entirely sure what it is, but you think you recognize a few of the actors. You feel Dennis’s knee touch yours, looking over at him.

“Pretty good pizza.” He closes the box.

“Not the only good thing I’m looking at.”

God damn, does he fuck. You almost feel bad for his roommate, though the thought is immediately pushed from your mind as the head of his cock borderline bruises your cervix. His hand on your throat stifles your moans, your eyes roll back from the sensation. You’re practically folded in half, knees pressed closer to your shoulders than you ever thought possible, your arms around his neck as he kisses you messily.

Your legs start to tremble, toes curling as you feel the tension building in your belly. You knot your fingers in his hair, tugging hard as your back arches into his chest and you begin to see stars. He doesn’t slow down, if anything he fucks you harder, tears pricking at your lashes as the stimulation toes the line of too much. You silently thank God he had condoms, glad he won’t have to pull out and finish on you. His pace falters, hips stuttering as he grates out a near-rapturous “Oh, fuck.” 

He pants against your neck, wincing as he pulls out. You prop yourself up on your elbows, legs still shaking You look him up and down, the sheen of sweat on his forehead and the wild look in his eyes nearly doing you in again. He tosses the spent condom down into the wastebasket by his nightstand, pulling his boxers up and laying on his back next to you. You look over at him, raising an eyebrow. He raises one back at you.

“Oh, really?”

The next evening after work, you find one of your tires almost completely deflated. You groan, inspecting the rubber and locating a sizable screw lodged between the treads. Fucking fantastic. You sigh, chewing on your lip. You’ve only been talking with him for a little over a week, and you don’t want to seem too needy, but you call Dennis anyway. Maybe he’ll be able to give you a ride to the auto shop at least.

He’s there in no time, happy to help. He even offered to change the tire for you. As he stands he wipes his hands on his jeans, kissing you quickly before replacing the jack in your trunk. You feel your cheeks heating up, a grin tugging at the corner of your mouth.

“I’ve got some stuff to do this week, so how about we go to Guigino’s next week?”

“Sounds good to me. You free that Friday?” He smiles at you.

“Yes, I am. How does 7 sound?”

“That’ll be great. Give me a call when you’ve got time, I’ll see you.” You enter your car, starting the engine as he backs away and raises a hand to you.

You notice he watches you leave the parking lot before leaving himself. That’s the first time any man has bothered to make sure nothing else happened to you. Dennis calls that night, you talk for a bit before you both decide to go to bed. The next two days follow the same routine, but the third day he doesn’t call. You feel a bit dejected, and by 8:30 you’re two glasses of wine deep, nearly ready to go to bed. Your phone rings and you’re wide awake again, picking up without checking the caller ID.

“Hello?” You’re met only with the sound of heavy breathing. “Hello? Who is this?”

“I know where you are, you dirty slut. I’m gonna gut you like a fish.”

You hang up, throwing the phone almost across the living room. Your hands shake and you stand slowly, walking carefully over lest it ring and be the same man on the other end again. You call Dennis, and as he picks up you can’t control your tears attempting to explain what just happened. He arrives at your apartment shortly, holding you on the couch as you try to calm down. He offers to stay the night and you insist he doesn’t have to, he insists he wants to if it’ll make you feel safer. You gratefully accept.

Your week is filled with mishaps and threatening calls, notes left on your car in your apartment and work lots. You tell him the only person you can think of who would do this to you is your batshit crazy ex, so Dennis comes to visit for a bit most evenings. Dennis has to cancel your plans for Guigino’s, and as he leaves he kisses you at the door with a promise that he’ll call you.

He doesn’t call. You try to only call him once a day, leaving simple and short voicemails. The threatening calls start again and you try to get ahold of Dennis, still to no avail. You spend the next week almost too afraid to set foot outside, but you have obligations that must be met, phone stalker or not. By the end of the week you’ve given up. You didn’t expect this from him, don’t know what prompted it. You can’t tell whether you were too clingy, or perhaps you weren’t paying him the attention he deserved. You sit on your couch, already down three glasses of wine and working on your fourth when a knock on your door startles you.

You lean against the peephole, trying to make out who it is. Dennis. You groan quietly, holding your face in your hands. You sigh deeply, pulling the door open to face him directly. His shoulders are slack, he looks sad.

“Can I come in?” You gesture him inside, he sits on the couch and eyes the wine bottle. “I know I’ve been distant. I’m sorry.”

You sit next to him, picking up your wine glass and finishing it in one long swig.

“I just wanted to explain myself. Listen, I was being a coward. I was afraid. I’ve had my heart broken so many times, and you’re too good for me. I was scared it was gonna happen again and I was gonna lose the best thing that’s happened to me in ages, so I did a really shitty thing and cut you out before you could do it to me. That was awful of me.”

You rub your temple, sighing through your nose as he talks.

“I… I’m not afraid of that anymore. I thought about it really hard, and being away from you this week has been killing me. I wanna be with you. I love spending time with you and talking to you, when I have a bad day getting to talk to you makes it feel like it never even happened. Please, give me another chance.”

Maybe it’s the wine, maybe it’s the stress you’ve been under, but the sincerity in his eyes knocks down every emotional barricade you put up. How exactly you got into bed with him is a blur, but you remember Dennis pulling you up at some point as you made out on the couch. This isn’t like the first time you fucked him, he’s taking his time with you now.

Your eyelids flutter as he lays kisses to your neck and chest, peeling your shorts away as you toss your tank top across the room. You can’t keep your hands off of him, fingers digging into the flesh of his back as he removes his shirt. He kisses you deeply, you hear the harsh sound of his zipper and he pulls away for a moment to remove his jeans. He’s back over you in an instant, hips grinding into yours evenly.

You make out slowly, fingers tangled in each other’s hair as he continues dry humping you. His pace begins quickening, his breathing becoming shallow. You’re both getting desperate, and you push his hand down to the waistband of your panties. He removes them without hesitation, pulling away from you once again only to push down his boxers. He reaches over to your nightstand, fishing around in the drawer for a condom.

You could cry when you finally feel him push inside you, the slow roll of his hips into yours making your eyes nearly cross and your back arch. One arm holds him up just above your torso, his other hand grips your hip. You can feel his teeth and tongue on your neck and clavicle, whining at the soft bites he lays down. The hand on your hip comes up to your chest and you gasp as he squeezes, his thumb grazing your nipple as he wraps his lips around the other. The wet heat drives you fucking crazy; you bite down on your own hand to ground yourself.

Your hips start to sting, you don’t even know how long you’ve had your legs spread at this point. Dennis doesn’t seem anywhere near tired or finished, his speed increased and his grip on your skin even firmer. You wrap your legs around his waist, he moans openly and fucks you harder. It still isn’t as hard as your first hookup, but you imagine this is what finding religion feels like. You feel his hand snake down between your bodies, gasping at the sensation of his thumb circling your clit.

Your eyes start to water, breathing becoming jerky as you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer. His pelvis slams against yours, the speed and friction only pushing you closer to your orgasm. You whimper; the rubber band is about to snap, your stomach tenses and your thighs twitch. Dennis kisses you, hard, pounding into you and stopping abruptly. Your whine becomes a broken moan as he focuses his attention on your clit, tears falling as your entire body stiffens and relaxes from the relief your orgasm brings.

You moan again into his mouth and he continues fucking into you, and you can tell he’s close. Courteous, too. His speed is unrelenting, plowing into you so forcefully it almost hurts. He buries his cock inside you one final time, pressing his face into your tits and moaning raggedly. You almost wish you could feel him cum inside you, curious to experience the sensation. Dennis pants against your chest, squeezing your hip as you release his waist from the confinement of your calves.

He doesn’t move, holding his cock inside of you for what feels like hours. By the time he pulls out, you’re wracked by a wave of exhaustion. You can barely keep your eyes open, only vaguely aware of his movements  as he throws away the condom and pulls the blankets over you both. You feel him stroke your hair and press a kiss to your cheek, and you think you hear him say something but you can’t quite understand him.

Your alarm scares you awake, on your one day off no less. You reach behind yourself, feeling only the mattress under your palm. You sit up, confused, listening for the sound of Dennis moving around anywhere in your apartment. The entire place is silent. You pull on enough clothes to cover yourself, walking to your window to look into the parking lot and searching for Dennis’s car. You don’t see it anywhere. You try to call him, immediately you’re met with the telltale chime ready to inform you you’ve dialed a disconnected phone number.

“Douchebag” doesn’t even begin to describe that motherfucker.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 3, Episode 13- Dear Emily and Richard-Part 5

Before we wrap up DVD & Abortion Gate, aka Dear Emily & Richard, here's my end of episode Bingo Card. I'm annoyed with myself that I always seem to forget these. I think they're fun.

Yeah, I do alter the squares a bit based on the most recent episodes but I try to keep it fair, lol. Like, there hasn't been a R&L D&D in a while so I may replace it with something else? Anyway, no Bingo this episode. When we last left off, Luke and Lawyer Lady With A Phone had returned to the diner after their date deep in a discussion about cheese. Jess is holding down the fort all by himself. I think about how if Jess and Rory were ever to move in together or get married their relationship would quickly implode when their polar opposite work ethics butted heads. You think Jess is going to be happy \working multiple jobs to pay the rent and bills while Rory is at home sitting on her spoiled ass. There's some gritty Literati realism for you. Luke snaps his fingers and orders his tired minimum wage slave nephew to pour Lawyer Lady a coffee. Jess offers to "Go out for an hour" so they can you know, play hide the pickle upstairs. Well that's certainly a nice gesture. What happens when the hour is up, by the way? Jess comes back home, now Luke has to shove his half naked date back out of the apartment before he gets back? Oh, Jess is definitely used to fleeing whenever his mother bought a man home while he was growing up, but I doubt Liz was ever considerate enough to actually give Jess subtle cues of Impending Sex, so, thank you Luke?

Thank you, I was hoping to get an idea of what time it actually was. WHY IS JESS WORKING AT 11:30 PM? (Also, Kirk is still there, and says he had been there for over four hours). Luke interrogates Jess about where he is "Going out" to at 11:30pm, but apparently sees nothing wrong with making him work past 11:30pm. Jess is slamming this hint over Luke's head just like the axe he slammed into Shane (RIP), Luke is either playing dumb or is actually dumb and doesn't pick up on it. Jess asks Luke if he "needs more time". Well, an hour is already pretty generous. How much time does Luke need to plow this lady? Big shot lawyer with a phone needs to be wined dined and 69'd. Wonder what Jess is going to do on his hour away from the coffee mines? Get up to some naughty second base hijinks with Rory? Oh, sorry Jess, you can't do that, because Rory can't say no to anyone, so she's currently asleep in a hospital waiting room with her mother, awaiting the birth of her Kinda A Sister whose existence means beans to her. Looks like it's jerking off in your car for you tonight, kid. Well, either that or a killing spree. Following up on that earlier threat towards Dean.

Luke smacking Jess upside the head outside is a glorious 2 seconds of television. But I mean, shouldn't Luke be thankful? He's doing you a favor. Do You WANT Jess to be home right now, Luke? Okay, I get it Luke. Even if you could get rid of Jess for a while, trying to perform sexually knowing your nephew could walk back through the door at any moment is definitely a boner killer and puts Jess in an equally precarious situation. (this is more or less the basis of an episode of King of Queens, by the way). The entire Jess & Luke living situation is a complete boner killer. Luke sabotages any chance of getting laid by marching the tired baby back into the diner where Jess makes things much less awkward by asking Luke in front of Nicole if Luke wants him to take an extra long shower instead. Where are Luke and Nicole going to pork then? Nowhere, that's where. This date's over. According to Luke earlier in the episode, he hasn't gotten laid in eons, and it doesn’t sound like Joanna Cooper put out.

Luke finally relieves Jess from his child-labor-law-violating shift and orders him upstairs, then (presumably) ends the date with Nicole. Looks like it's... jerking off in your car for you too, Luke. For some unknown reason Lorelai and Rory are still in the hospital waiting for GiGi to be born. Rory has fallen asleep in the waiting room. GO HOME!!!!! Crusty emerges in scrubs and Lor's Lorelai and then informs her of the birth of his child that she does not care about, nor is she a child that Lorelai is biologically related to. Crusty invites Lorelai to see Gigi in the nursery and says there's no need to wake Rory up which is for the best because she doesn't care about GiGi anyway.

As Crusty describes to Lor the sheer exhilaration of witnessing the birth of his Other More Valued Girl Child, Lorelai plasters on a fake smile and squashes down her homicidal rage towards Crusty, but that rage has never stopped her from boinking him over and over.

Welcome to the world, Geej. You are truly fucked, but at least you're not a Hayden. 4 things: One, the birth announcement lists her birth date as January 5th, even though it was established earlier that she came unexpectedly a week before February 7th. Was this the work of the same prop guy responsible for the Tomatos and On Sail signs? Two, they bestowed her with Sherry's last name instead of Christopher's. Three, Georgia was born at 1:17 am, which means by the time she's been birthed, cleaned up, spent time with Sherry, burrito'd in her blanky, and set up in the nursery its already hella later than that. It's gotta be at least 2am, dude. Maybe even 3. Lorelai, you and your kid have school and work in the morning. Neither of you have eaten or showered all night and you're stinking up the waiting room. Why didn't Sherry just agree to email you a picture of the kid or something? GO HOME!!!!

FOUR, where are Sherry's parents or any family members at all AND Christopher's parents? Here's a freshly birthed Rory. 20 inches long, 7lbs 4 ounces. Sign Guy got it right this time and didn't list her legal name as "Rory". But then she's named Rory on her police mugshot. You tried, Sign Guy. The show has been wholly consistent (as far I'm aware) with her birthdate being October 8th, 1984.

I'm impressed that they used real infants for this scene. First they used a real fish in the last episode, an upgrade from the Great Value CGI Fish earlier in the season, and now real babies. And they have the budget to pay a real life and fictional slimy worm named David Sutcliffe/ Crusty Hayden. The second to last flashback shows Fake Lorelai and Chess Club Crusty looking at Rory in the nursery. CCC says they should get married and Fake Lorelai hesitates. End of flashback. Just stick it out for another 23 years and Lorelai will be stupid and desperate enough to marry you, Crusty, and she'll have banged you several more times along the way too.

Yeah. She'll be just thrilled.

Crusty then plants a big fat kiss on Lorelai's face in front of his newborn with his fiancee who just birthed his kid a few feet down the hall, and Lorelai recoils. You slimy worm. Disgusting. Listen Geej, I know you're only an hour old, but blink twice if you need help, maybe we can Randall Pearson you into a nice new adoptive family. (Present Day) Lorelai starts to tear up, and it's unclear if it's because she's just been slimed by a worm or if it's due to the deep, deep trauma that dwells within her. Probably both. Cheer up Lorelai, you're living in the age of DVD players!

Security finally booted Lorelai and Rory from the hospital as Lorelai next shows up at Emily's house bright eyed and bushy tailed with that brand new state of the art dvd player she promised, and I strap myself in to hopefully hear all the delicious early 2000s technology references that are surely forthcoming. I am then disappointed.

Go ahead Lorelai. PLEASE say how much the DVD player cost in 2003. I am salivating. DANG. No dice. Lorelai offers to install the DVD player, Emily doesn't believe Lorelai capable of installing this futuristic piece of technology herself, Emily is happy that Lorelai bought a copy of one of her favorite movies, Lorelai is lightly pleased. Of course I Googled it. The average cost of a dvd player in 2003 was nearly 350 bucks! Final flashback. I have flashback fatigue, you guys. No more I say! Emily and Richard are all fancied up going to a ball or something at an undetermined time in the future-past. They can't find Lorelai. SURPRISE ABSCONDING, BITCHES! SHE GONE! GONE GONE. Gone to go live with her toddler in a shed behind a motel.

Did the show ever state why Lorelai and Rory, weren't you know, living indoors while Lorelai worked at the inn as a maid? In an inn with beds and running water? Mia employed a single teenage mother and said screw you and your baby, go live out back in the shed, these rooms are for paying customers! Anyway. The drama is about to be turnt up to eleventy for the remainder of season 3. I am wholly unprepared. It may be a long time before you see the words Swan Song. Maybe I'll try to come up with something else to fill the void?

[treedaddymcpuffpuff]

Beneath Miles of Stone - Part five - John Wick x Plus Size Fem Reader

Summary: John has been in prison for nine months. He’s content to stay if it means appeasing the high table and keeping peace between the owners of each continental. However, he meets someone who erases that willingness. Peace be dammed.

TW: Bullying

Michael has a lot of stuff. A lot of heavy stuff. Despite him assuring her that he can move it all in on his own, she still wants to help.

It would be kind of a dick move if she didn’t assist with all of this. An hour in, and the apartment is already transformed from bland and empty into a hoard of pastel rainbow decor and soft white staple pieces.

She takes a break to admire the painting of a fluffy white angel cat over watercolor Van Gogh scenery. Michael comes through the door, panting, with his White Cottage microwave in tow.

“Who painted this?” She asks him.

He smiles, blushes, puts the microwave down and then his hand on his hips. “I did.”

Her eyes grow wide. “This is amazing.”

He chuckles. “Thank you.”

She likes Michael a lot already, but she’s also very jealous of him and his many talents and cool possessions. He makes her want to decorate and be creative, both skills she’s never been able to possess correctly.

She hasn’t gotten the key made yet, so she goes out and does that while he starts unpacking his things. By the time she’s done, her apartment looks astonishing. Fairy lights twinkle over gauze white curtains and a big speaker plays soft hiphop music in one corner of the living room. Her couch is full of comfy white and grey fluffy throw pillows. An incense burner releases gourmand, smoky aroma into the air.

Michael is stretched out on the couch, taking a break, watching Legally Blonde on DVD. Her small TV is now in her room and his bigger flatscreen dwarfs the stand that it was on.

She sits down beside him with two glasses of water. Before she can set hers down on the coffee table, he stops her. “Wait! Coasters!”

He digs through two boxes of stuff before he finds new marble coasters for them to set their drinks on.

She laughs at him and he grins back. “I know, I know,” he tells her, “typical trust fund kid BS.”

“You’re fine,” she says. “I was laughing at the coasters because the table is already a mess.”

“Listen,” he says, “this table just needs some tee ell cee. A sander and some paint would do her wonders.” He pats the wooden top.

“Can I help?” She asks, excited and jumping at the opportunity a little too eagerly.

“Of course you can,” he assures.

She remembers him telling her that his mother is an artist. “Did your mom teach you to paint?”

He nods. “She also taught me how to make miniatures. You know, like dollhouses but for adults?”

“That’s amazing. Do you trade art with her?”

“I do,” he says, “we send things back and forth in the mail. Although my dad says it ‘clogs up their post office box’.”

“He’s not a fan of art?”

Michael snorts. “He hates everything except golf. Sometimes I think he hates me.”

She shakes her head. “Does he really hate you? You’re the perfect son.”

Michael sighs. “No, but he hates gay people, so it’s close enough. When I first came out to him, if my mother wouldn’t have been there, he would’ve probably shot me. He’s a real man’s man if you know what I mean...”

She nods, smiling ruefully. “Oh, I know exactly what you mean.”

Michael thinks for a moment. “We should get a dog.”

“I would love that, but it’s no pets here.”

He raises his eyebrows and sips at his water. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

They decide it has to be a quiet dog, one who’s comfortable being alone at night, and there are an abundance of local shelters displaying perfect furry candidates online.

“Rocky. Pitbull mix. Potty trained, good with kids and other pets, sweet and loves everyone.” She shows Michael a picture of a medium sized black, stout dog with shiny grey eyes.

Michael shows her his own selection, a retired service beagle named Winnie. “Short for Winnifred,” he reads, “loves people and other pets, very polite, and hardly ever barks.”

“I love them both,” she groans, leaning back into the couch cushions.

“Same,” Michael sighs. “It’s one in the afternoon. Do you work tonight?”

“Yup.” She presses an arm over her face, blocking out the ceiling light.

“Don’t you have to sleep?” He asks.

She’s not tired at all because she slept through the night—wet dreams work wonders on insomnia—but she agrees because Michael sounds like he needs some alone time. Plus, her DVDs and TV are in her room now, and if she can’t sleep she can watch an old, comfortable flick.

The problem isn’t getting to sleep, it’s staying there—waking up sweating, gasping, whining John’s name. She slaps her mouth shut, presses her face into her pillow, and prays to any deity listening that her voice wasn’t loud enough for Michael to hear. First day in the new place and his roommate is a fiend. It would make any sane person want to revoke their rental agreement immediately.

She should be embarrassed and anxious that Michael potentially heard her, but instead she’s grinding against her sheets and thinking of tall men handcuffed to beds.

This won’t work. This isn’t working. She’s so pent up that it’s borderline painful. She sticks her hand into her sleep pants, past her underwear, and into a sloppy mess, tries to think about anything but John while she rubs herself raw, but in doing so her brain latches onto the thought of him and pretty soon he’s the only thing on her mind.

She tries to paint a decent fantasy of what she would like sex with him to be, but really she doesn’t give a shit as long as it’s him. And that’s what scares her. He could be absolutely celibate and she’d still crave whatever he wanted to give her whether it be a rough kick or a soft caress—she’d be his dog, and **this is the worst time for her to realize that because her alarm is going off for work.

She orgasms at the cost of being ten minutes late.

The locker room lights are off when she goes to put her things away, which is unusual. Since she started, they’ve been lit around the clock. In fact, she’s not even sure where the light switch is in here because she’s never had to use it. Fumbling around in the pitch black is making her even tardier. Finally, when she finds the switch and flips it, the room illuminates, and standing under the migraine-inducing glow is someone who makes headaches seem like a dream come true.

Benny grins from his seat on the bench, which he quickly abandons in favor of looming over her. Once again, the sweaty, edematous mass of him blocks her exit.

She’s too busy contemplating if anyone would hear her scream to see him hold his open palm out expectantly.

“Give it to me,” he says.

“What?” She asks, imagining in another universe she sounds angry and oppositional instead of whiny and terrified. In another universe, she can also kick his ass. Not in this one, though. In this universe, she does as Benny demands and hands him her phone so she doesn’t have to suffer through the touch of his greasy skin a second time.

He holds her phone in one hand while the other holds his own. She doesn’t bother trying to see what he’s doing because she can’t get her feet to move let alone stand on tiptoes and look over his shoulder.

This goes on for a while in which her only thought consists of asking herself if she could run to the door and make it into the populated infirmary before he can catch her. Again, this is a solution mainly dependent on her stubborn feet.

She’s not really worried about what he puts on her phone. It’s what he’s getting from it that sets her pulse careening.

He reaches out and tries to shove it into her jacket pocket, but luckily that’s when her feet decide to save her and step away from his hands. He scowls at her like she just insulted his mother.

“Fine.” Benny opens his hand and drops her phone on the stone floor. She winces when she hears the shatter, then looks back up at his pleased, disgusting expression.

“Remember our trip.” He pushes past her, not enough to hurt but to make her yelp and stumble, and slams the door shut on his way out.

Her phone isn’t broken. The screen has a tiny crack in one corner but other than that it’s still perfect.

She grabs her bag from her locker and brings it with her to the nurse’s station, labeling the locker room as an unsafe and off limits space, which are becoming more bountiful by the day.

John is not her patient tonight. On her day off they must have had an influx of admissions because she’s responsible for 10 of them and the infirmary is unusually and appropriately staffed.

Her hopes of his nurse trading him are slim to none because he’s a wonderful patient and over time everyone has seemed to agree that they want him on their assignment sheet.

The other nurse’s that take and give her report always talk about what a cool, easy going guy he is and how they’re surprised that he needs that many guards with him.

“What do you think he did?” Stan, one of the day shift nurses, asks her.

“My bet’s on released a circus full of wild animals and let them trample a small town, but I could be wrong.” She taps her pen against her report sheet and laughs at her own joke.

Stan snorts. “He probably killed some rich guys.”

The other nurses like him so much that most of their theories on why John is in four point restraints with four men guarding him at all times is because he’s done something valiant that pissed someone powerful off.

That’s probably the other reason his wound looks better; not just because of her, but because if you like a patient or connect with them you’re more than likely going to give them the best care you can provide.

If she’s honest, it kind of makes her feel sick. Not because everyone has grown to like John, but because that means she’ll have less chance of being his nurse from here on out. Also, she knows it’s kindergarten mentality, but she liked him and treated him well first while the other ones had to get to know him beforehand.

Her case load is heavy. A couple IV’s, wound changes, someone with a tracheostomy. She sits down to chart, finally, at 3 AM.

One of the other nurses, Bill, calls for her across the hall.

She fights the urge to groan while standing on sore feet and walking over to his medication cart.

Bill grins at her, looking like he’s really enjoying himself. “My patient in 9 wants to see you.”

“Me?” She asks.

Bill shrugs, still looking very amused. “He says he needs to tell you something.”

“What?”

“I don’t know,” Bill tells her. “Seems that he likes your company, though.” He gives an eyebrow raise at the awkward expression crawling onto her face.

She reminds herself that this her workplace for the 80th time and that Bill’s suggestive expressions are just him messing around. Joking. That’s all. He’s joking.

John is watching the door, waiting for her. When she pops in like a mouse and scurries to his bed, he feels the urge to pat her on the head for showing up which would be the only thing he could do to stop himself from grabbing her up and kissing her.

His smile is wide and genuine. “How’s the roommate search?”

“Uh, I got one.” She smiles timidly, hoping he doesn’t think she’s erratic and air-headed for finding someone so fast

His eyes widen just the smallest bit. “That’s good, is she…nice?”

She nods too eagerly. “He’s great. And he has great decorations.”

The key word here—at least the one his ears attune to—is he. Not because a woman and a man living together automatically entails romance or connection, but because John knows men—John is a man—and most of them turn out to be less than good.

He tries not to look mean, to keep his smile, to focus on her being here with him in the present and alive and well; If he doesn’t, rage will start talking, nefarious, whispering sin in his ear, assuring him that it wouldn’t be hard to break out of these handcuffs and make sure her roommate becomes her loyal dog for the rest of the time he spends living with her and alive.

“If you wouldn’t have suggested it, I’d probably be homeless by next week.” She tries to sway the conversation toward optimism because she sees something in his expression that reads like he’s a little upset. He probably does think she’s a moron at this point.

Maybe it’s just good that she’s happy. He tries to shift focus onto that. The roommate can’t be malignant if she’s so upbeat.

It’s been very easy to talk to John most times, but then there are moments like this when something awkward and unsaid hangs between them and more often than not she doesn’t know what it is. Maybe he doesn’t either.

“Just be careful,” is what he decides to say.

She chuckles. “I will, don’t worry.”

He doesn’t understand what’s funny—again, but he appreciates the laugh. One of them can get him through a few hours, and they’re so easy to wring out of her pretty throat.

One of the security guards stands, stretches, yawns. He says he’s going to take a break. The other guards are asleep, so once he leaves they’ll be alone.

“I’m gonna go to vending, John you want anything?” He asks.

John shakes his head no. “Thanks.”

“I’m sorry if I bothered you while you were busy,” he says, too eager to talk as soon as the guard walks out. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

She purses her lips, which he thinks means she’s trying not to leak an expression that will probably be embarrassing. Really, she’s trying to tame her lion heart back into its cage before it sinks its teeth into him and refuses to let go.

“I’m okay, John.” She attempts smiling. “You’re the one in the hospital bed.”

He shrugs like his stab wound and near death are just a hiccup.

She talks again. “And I’m glad you called me in. I like talking to you.”

His face is all smile now. “Likewise.”

He tells her to pull up a chair if she wants, and she steals one of the metal ones that the breaking guard left behind, sitting by his bedside. They start with a casual conversation about the weather that turns into a discussion on harsh winters in Belarus.

“Did you grow up there?” She asks him.

He nods. “I traveled a lot.”

“So, you’re Russian?” She puts her chin in her palm and stares at him like he is the most interesting person in the world. She’s adorable like this. He wants to brush the stray hairs from her cheeks.

“Yes. American, now.”

“Do you speak Russian?” Her eyebrows raise.

“да, красивая девушка” His tone automatically slides into a deeper baritone when he says this, and it makes her shudder.

He needs to be nerfed. Outlawed. He should not be handsome, nice, like-able, and be able to speak a different language in his perfect voice. It’s really not fair at all.

She’s too busy trying to tame her rogue thoughts to ask him what he even said. The desire to climb into his lap and straddle him crosses her mind twenty times in different ways. She blinks heavy. “You’re the coolest person I know.”

They talk until the guard comes back from his break, mainly about Belarus and what it was like there and where else he has traveled.

Although she has a ton of charting to catch up on, she doesn’t want to leave him. The taste of human connection is on her tongue after a couple years of abstinence and she’s becoming addicted.

When she exits his room, it’s with reluctance and impressive self control.

She tells him to sleep. He promises he’ll try.

It would be easier to do her job if she wasn’t catching Benny sneering at her whenever they’re in the same space, but she gets through it, reasoning that John has it worse than her because he has to suffer through six hours with the asshole guard in his room. And, it’s easier also because of…well, John himself.

[a-fluffy-dog24]

6 tiny tales see Dipper and Mabel as little kids and play, learn new things,be there for each other. And lot of very cute slice of life stuff,and early 2000's childhood memories.And head canons and stories from the box set.Alex the creator of the show and his twin sister Ariel.References to Ariel's pig shrine and in show reference the origin of the awkward sibling hugs.The backstory of the Lammy Lammy dance. There parents reaction to them cutting their hair. The twins passed halloween costumes and the origin of sweater town.

Mabel and the game of chicken

April/5/2004

4 year old Dipper and Mabel were playing outside in their fence backyard with their toys. Their daddy just picked them up from daycare. Dipper was wearing a yellow polka dot shirt and blue shorts, and Mabel was wearing a yellow polkadot dress.With her hair up in a ponytail."Dipper the queen cat wants to have a tea party With the dinosaur, '' she told him. "Ok but after the tea party he has to go back to his Cave" they happily play .They have the tea party and help the dinosaur go back home.

But then "Hey kiddos please come inside it's going to rain" thair mommy Catherine call out to them she has straight light brown hair.She just came home from a long day working as a nurse at the hospital.They bring their toys inside and sit on they're beds on a shelf is some toys books ,DVDs and VHS tapes of the land before time,the little mermaid, Shrek,and brother bear and the 1983 my little pony the movie. They small room has two bed across  from each other.One with blue blanket and books on top of it and one with a pink blanket and stuffed animals.

They have a squared window in between their beds and a table the walls are a tan color .In the corner of the room they have a DVD player and a small tv they have a VHS player in the living room the walls have a brown trim and the floor is dark brown hardwood."What do you want to do now? Let's watch Rainbow bright '' she asked grabbing the Remote. "No I don't want to I want to watch SpongeBob '' he yelled and tried to grabbed the remote control out of her hands. "Hey that's not fair" she Wined they started screaming and fight each other on the floor.

Then their daddy comes in "HEY what are you two doing stop hitting each other" he orders pulling them apart and separating them with his hands."I want to watch SpongeBob" Dipper told him "But I want to watch Rainbow bright". "Well if you don't stop fighting each other you'll both not going to watch anything.You know that you're not supposed hit your siblings you could really hurt each other .If you fight  again you're going to be grounded." He said in a hard tone.

They nod their heads in agreement ."And you have to learn to share I'm going to take you VCR and DVD player until you you both can show me you can compromise." "What does that mean daddy" Mabel asked " it means you meet each other halfway in other words, you get to watch your show for 20 minutes and Dipper gets to watch his show for 20 minutes." He takes their DVD player and VCR and leaves. They watch him put them up in a closet in the hallway the hallway has brown wooden paneling.

The twins sit on their own beds because there noting they want to do except watch TV.  "This is stupid I want my own room"he wines then he has an idea he walked around their room and grabbed a ribbon.And tied it to a table "what if we had are own room this is my Side" he tied the ribbon,to the window ."How how am I gonna get out of here" she added " easy you climb out the window and slide down the tree." He told her "I don't think so I will find a way out" she looked around and climbed the big curtain.

And held on and climbed her way over to Dipper's bed and landed on it" ta-da" she cheered. "I want my own room too lets play a game of chicken" she suggests " you have to move out" she told him "no you move out" he argues . "Why do I have to" she argued "ok fine I'll move out" he took his pillow and his blue Clues dog stuffily. And when and move in to laundry room downstairs is  his new room has a ironing bored he used as a desk he sat there for a while he played.But he thought It was lonely by himself "what are you doing Dippy" his mommy asks she sat down and put her arm around him in the kitchen the wall is a picture of them and they mommy and daddy when they were babies. He looks at it and then back at her and says.

"Well Mabel and I where play a game called chicken and I want to move out but I'm kind of lonely. And Daddy took at TV because well couldn't share" he told her in a whisper."What do you think you should do it ok to have alone time but you need to be there for your sister when she need you.You can relate on her when you need her right. And you both need to learn to share sharing is caring " she reminds her son "right thank you Mommy" she Tickles him he giggled.Back in there room Mabel took down the the ribbon she liked having a big room all to herself but she thought that's she just want her brother back.

She cried a little then someone knocked on her door "hey Mabel I came back" she opened the door and nodded her head.They sat down on his bed she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Are you ok" he asked "awkward sibling hug " she told him"awkward sibling hug"he said then hugs her he pats her back "pat,pat" she said."Yea I feel better that you're here I know what will make me feel better" she asks .

"Ok fine but I don't know where my costume is" "please sing the Lamy Lamy dance please bro bro" she begged. He remembers when they were 3 years old and their granny Louis, their mom's mom.She has pail red hair and green eyes she got Mabel a piggy costume and got Dipper a lamy costume. Their mommy put it on them and he love it so much and didn't want to take it off.Catherine Took some pictures of them playing in the nursery had purple wallpaper and a yellow rug.Mabel in her piggy costume got on top of the toy chest trying watch Dora the explorer on the tv and she fell off their toy chest and got hurt she cry.Dipper wearing his Lamy costume did a Dance to cheer her up and she stop crying and started giggling and she loves still it even now.

"oh Who wants a Lamy Lamy so go up and greet your mammy hi there hi there so march march don't don't forget about the babyyy" he sings." Yay " she laughs "I'm kind of tired can we nap" he yawns "ok" she lays down and they fall asleep cuddling with each other.Michael see them getting along and will give them back their players when they wake up.

After they had Dino nuggets and Broccoli for dinner thair daddy  put in a dvd and they all watch an episode of full house.When the episode is over they all play a board game together as a family.Then the kids had a bath the bathroom is small it's light green with a light pink trim.It has a white sink, toilet,bathtub and shower and it has a small rectangle window.Mabel like the bath she got to play was her Princess Ariel mermaid toy.Her mommy scrubs her belly and tickles her she laughs.

Dipper on the other hand was not a fan of bathtime his daddy try to convince him to get in.But Dipper wined and refused "hey Dippy you're dinosaurs can come in with you they don't want to smell too".His mommy said washing his sister "I'll let you play with my mermaid too" Mabel told him."Ok fine" his daddy puts him in and washed him,the twins play and had fun.Catherine moves one of the dinosaurs though the water Dipper makes the smaller dinosaur swim.

After they put their pjs on Mabel's was purple with pink butterflies on it.Dipper's was green with blue dogs on it. Their mommy picks them up and carries them to bed and she gently sets Mabel down and gently sets Dipper down. "Good night buddy" "good night Daddy" "good night dippy" she kissed his head.''Remember no matter what you always project your sister and I love you". "Good night mommy I love you" she tucked him in when Dipper fell asleep.

"Good night baby" he pats Mabel head "good night Daddy can we get a pig" "no we can't"Michael leaves. "Good night honey bunny " she kissed her head "remember no matter what you always project your brother" "I love you". "I love you too good night Mommy can we get pig " "no pigs are to big" she tucked her in then Catherine closed the door.A little bit later Dipper started crying "Are you ok Dipping sauce" "no I'm scared please can I sleep with you" "yea come over" he get out of his bed and crawls in her bed.and they both sleep together all though the night.

The tooth fairy

February /8/2005

Their mommy had just bought them home after the a check up they got they're shots they did cry a little.Dipper try to hide under the table Mabel try to hold on to her Mommy screaming for dear life.But with some convincing and a promise of stickers the twins sat on the table holding hands got their shots then they each got a stickers. The 5 year olds where watching dragon tales   in the living room it was painted white with a light brown trim and coral Orange carpet.They were watching TV well their mom was painting out of her painting in the dining room./p>

They were and eating crackers. Dipper is wearing an orange shirt and blue jeans.Mabel is wearing green Power puff girls shirt and a purple shorts . When there is one cracker left "what do we do " he asks she takes the cracker and split it in half "thank you" he eat his half When Dipper thought his food taste weird and it taste like blood he opened his mouth, and gets the thing out. But the blood kept coming his tooth fell out "MOMMY Help my mouth got blood in it and my teeth are falling out" he yelled.

"MOMMY whats going on" Mabel asks worried "I think I'm dying " he yells ."Come to the bathroom please"she try not to laugh Dipper follow his mommy he drink and spits out some water. And she clean off his tooth "you know what this means"Catherine asks her son. "That I'm dying" he said"no you're losing your baby teeth and then you put the tooth,under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and takes your tooth and gives you money" she told.

"Really that's so cool" he gos and puts the tooth under his pillow "Mommy will the tooth fairy come to see me" Mabel asks. "Well not tonight but when you lose your baby teeth then she will" "Mommy who is older" she push her straight light brown hair out of her face "you are honey bunny older by only 5 minutes" "oh so I'm the alpha twin cool...but why don't Dipper I lose are teeth at the same time where twins it's not fair" she wines.

And she sit down on the floor in their room "it's not fair Dipper" she told him "what" he asks to look up from playing with his dog and car toys. "That you lost your tooth and got to see the tooth fairy but I don't" . "I can't stop them from falling out, at least I lost them first you still have all your baby teeth like a big baby". She started to cry and ran off to the bathroom and slammed the door.Catherine saw this happen and said."Mason Alex Pines, that wasn't nice at all, that is not how you treat people.

Do you want to go to the naughty chair. What if she lost her tooth first and called you a big baby how would you feel ." "Not good but I don’t care " he answers  "remember you’re supposed to be there for her protect her you would want her help you.You go and sit down in the chair and think about what you need to do." He goes and sits in the little chair in his mommy bedroom five minutes later she comes in and asks him the question. "umm I need to apologize to her" .He walked over to the door and knocks "umm Mabel I'm sorry it's was dumb what I said to you about you being a baby.

And I think you'll lose your tooth soon and the tooth fairy will give you a big surprise" he finished.And she opened the door and he comes in she said " awkward sibling hug bro bro I love you" and he hug her he said "I love you too awkward sibling hug" "pat pat" she said . "What do you want to do now" he asks her "can we watch Rainbow bright "Dipper and Mabel Watch some TV

Then they played together and they were Prince and Princess. She was princess Ariel.She wore a pink blanket tied around her waist and a red wig. She made a Castle out of purple couch pillows and Dipper where a paper Crown and he had a play sword he was the prince fighting the dragon.And Catherine the queen she sat in her chair she get up and ordered the prince to fight the dragon she hands him a sword.He hit the dragon with the sword then threw the dragon pluses across the room. "You save me prince Dipper'' Mabel hug him and picks him up a little and put him down "I give you this crown"the queen Catherine puts the crown on her little prince

"now you have to bring your princess to her castle"Mabel tells him.He niels down and she gets on his back and he piggyback rides her to her castle,and set her down on the couch she giggles.Queen Catherine goes back to the kingdom far away called the kitchen "I learned I'm the alpha twin" she told him "really but by how much" he asks. "By 5 minutes little brother" she brags "hey at least we're the same height" he laughs.

"Hey Dipper remember when we were really sick" she says "yeah it was horrible mommy took care of us" "she gave us soup,movies to watch and a warm bath" she said "well I don't like the bath part remember the gross medicine I hope we don't get sick again that was a year ago" "we probably will when do it's weird when I cough you sneeze"

After they have spaghetti and meatball for dinner the they watch an episode or two of the Care Bears the original as a family they have a cookie for dessert,Their daddy is Busy with at a conference  at work his a history  teacher he'll be home later.And then there mommy pick the kids up and carries them to give them a bath Dipper try and fails to hide under the bed Catherine find him pretty quickly and put him in tub.She tickles them well she washed her children after she tucked them in to bed.She kissed her babies good night "I love you two" she told them "I love you mommy" Mabel sleep with her piggy stuffed animals "me too" Dipper sleep with his blue clues dog they fall asleep and wait for the tooth fair.

After picture day

Sept/9/2005

6 year old Mabel and Dipper come home from Picture day at school.Their Mommy and Daddy stand outside their house.And the twins get off the bus "Mommy where back" Mabel announce

"MASON ALEX PINES WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR”Michael yells seeing his son's has been cut with a razor . Mabel take off Dipper's blue hat "WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOU HAIR "Catherine asks seeing her daughter's hair. "But we did it together 123" Dipper counted out loud. They hold arms and shout "TWINS" "Aww but why did you cut your hair " she asked in disbelief. "They put gum in her hair" Dipper told her "why didn't you give her your hat" Michael asked him "I don't know" he said."We know it was bad we really sorry" Mabel apologized "I'm sorry too" Dipper added.The parents not knowing what to do they walked up the stairs  Michael opened the red front door to their house.

"Daddy can I call Grunkle Stan" she asked and he handed her his flip phone it ring. The kids go into their room and sit down "umm hello Mike" Stan answered"Grunkle Stan hi it's me Mabel" she yells "and Dipper too" he called. " oh Hi there kiddos what are you doing"he asks "today was Picture day but some kid put gum in my hair" she told him. "But I find a razor and we cut are hair" Dipper added "oh well that works what did your mom and dad say".He found it cute but wondered what they parents were do.

"They freaked out, we might have to wear wigs now," she said."And we might be grounded but we did it together. We will send you the picture we took" Dipper told him. "Grunkle Stan, my favorite animal is a pig. When can we come to your house?" she asked "umm sweetie I'm busy with work but i'll see you kiddos for thanksgiving and maybe Hanukkah or Christmas." Stan answered her question the best he could. "Ok we can still call you right" Dipper asks

"Yes I have to go bye" "bye Grunkle Stan" Dipper said goodbye "bye Grunkle Stan I love you" Mabel said goodbye. "You too bye" he hangs up.And gos back to work trying to fix the portal. Meanwhile the kids watch some blues clues and sing the mail song,and color and they're coloring books.Dipper colors in a Thomas the tank Engine coloring book and Mabel color in her Lisa Frank coloring book.Later the twins and their parents have a talk about asking for help.

"So when you kids have a problem and you're not sure how to fix it you need to ask an adult" Michael explains to the children. They nodded their heads and know that what they need to do. "And you should never cut your own hair cutting that a job for a hairdresser,mommy or me". "Ok daddy we're sorry" Mabel said "Are you going to shave my head" Dipper asked. Their mommy told them "No but you both ground for the night and tomorrow. That means no toys,no books and no TV.you understand".They do understand that if they do the crime they do the time.

Then the kids eat dinner. They have fish and green beans.After they have their bath then their mommy and daddy tucked the kids in to bed and their give them both kisses on the head and told them they loves them Dipper sleeps with his blue clues dog stuff animal and she sleeps with her pig pillow pet (it's a pillow it's a pet.)Then they here a loud  noise they both jump out of bed scared and hug each other for protection.

"What was that I hope it not an Monster" she asked trembling "oh a Alien" he added holding her tighter they look around their room at the books on a shelf ready to fall off the toys DVDs and VHS's of Dumbo,Loiu and stitch,toy story on the floor in the dark .Then they look at the closet and see two red eyes staring at them "it's the alien" he whispered "let see what monster it is" she added they walked closer to it holding on to each other for deer life.

And the red eyes move and jump out of the shadows and it's their cat he sits in his bed "can I sleep with you Dipping sauce"" she asks He said yes and then both slept in his bed and cuddled in safely from the monster/alien/cat. Their mother took them to the hairdresser to see what they could do about the bald patches. And she gave them both little wigs to wear until the bald patches grow back. It probably will take a year for the hair to grow back completely.

Later Stan receives two copies of the photo.He looks at it and smiles as he wishes he could be there. And put one on his fridge and one in a Frame in the portal room.

Thanksgiving

November/29/2007

It's Thanksgiving and the 8 year old twins are getting ready for thanksgiving dinner. They had their showers Dipper was made to take one Mabel is wearing a green dress and a light pink shirt underneath her mom is doing her hair in a half ponytail with a pink bow.Catherine's straight light brown hair is in a braid .And Dipper is wearing a  green overalls and a matching light pink shirt  his dad Michael is combining Dipper's hair.Michael's curly dark brown hair is combed.

Then and kids watch the Macy thanksgiving day parade and it was fun their favorite part was seeing Santa.Then the doorbell rings Michael get the door and it's his dad and mom.Grandpa Shumeses his hair is all white he used to have curly dark brown like he son but it all gone now.He has glasses and a gray mustache and a orange Pair nose, he is older than his twin brothers by 8 years. And his wife  Faith has gray hair. She used to have blonde hair and she is wearing a pink dress.They come into the kitchen and the kids help their mom sit at the table "hi grandpa " said Dipper "did you bring pumpkin pie" Mabel asked. "Yes She did but that's for later" he told the kids.

Catherine's mother granny Louis come in she said hi.Louis used to have red hair.The kids hug her and she kisses their heads.But their still waiting on one person. They're mother and grandmothers are talking and were finishing dinner. Mabel goes into Living room Dipper follow they see their father and grandfather watching football on the purple  couch and yelling.So the kids go to their room they have some toys,games on their shelf and DVDs  and VHS tape. Of Bolt, the land before time,Spirit stallion of the Cimarron, all dogs go to heaven. LILO and stitch, Shrek, Spirited away,the little mermaid,fantastic mr fox,Shrek 2,the secret of NIMH.

Some of Mabel's Rainbow yarn on the floor. “Dipper do you want to finish the movie we’re making for Mommy and Daddy” she ask “sure I’ll get my video camera ready”. They take out the jungle set they make out of cardboard and Crumpled up green paper as the trees,an old Ken doll with a Safari hat made from a water bottle cup. (Dipper makes the man walk)through the jungle he is looking for creatures. He hears a loud noise (Mabel some horse noises) the explore man sees a pegasus she is pink with white hair and a giant purple bow.

He try to catch the Pegasus with a rope (Dipper pulls a rubber band) the Pegasus demands that she will not be taken away. He lets her go and she said he must have a party with her and we must have a karaoke competition where they compete for a million ice cream sundae. They have a fun time together the end.Then Mabel puts on his favorite VHS tape of Charlotte web and cuddles up in her blanket. Holding a pig toy he watched it with her. Well, they waited for their great uncle. Just then they heard the doorbell ring and they ran down the stairs and Dipper opened the door. "Grunkle Stan you’re here yay" she cheered they go in for a hug he picked them up."Hi whoa you two have gotten  big your not toddlers anymore" he said " nope we're in 3th Grade now"told him he put them down.And gos into the kitchen said hi to everyone.

Then they eat dinner. They have Turkey, mashed potatoes, squash,stuffing, and green beans. After dinner the adults talk about politics and stuff outside the kids take their pumpkin and chocolate pies and sit on the purple couch.Stan comes to join them and to avoid the change of adult finding out his identity. And to spend time with his great niece and nephew. When he sat down  he asked "So how school you didn't cut any more hair off did you ?" he asked. "No it grew back eventually" she reminds him "and we got to wear wigs for a year" he says to Stan.

She sits on his lap and holds her with his arm. "Grunkle Stan, can you come more often? Why don't we see you a lot?Dipper asks, "do you think we could go to your house sometime we've never been " she added . "Well you kids have when you were little babies I babysat and I would love to see you guys more.Too but I Busy with work and you would have ask you parents.Maybe you can come for the month or summer something like that" he told them he can't tell them the truth they won't understand but he does wish his brother could have be here too he wish he didn't have to lie to his family.

"Is it because your old'' Dipper said "yeah is that why" she agreed "ok that it" he tickled her belly.And she giggled and then he tickled her feet she laughed Dipper tried to move off the couch but Stan grabbed him. Well this is happening Michael gos into the living room for something and he sees his children and Stan giggling and having fun "Not getting out it that easy '' Stan said as he ticked his feet Dipper giggled and Stan tickled his belly he laughed. Then he stops "sweetie here" he hand her a small pig stuff animal

"thank you Grunkle Stan I want to show you my. Sticker Collection" Mabel went upstairs to get it and to add the pig to her pig shine. "Hey Goober " Stan hand him a old spoon "That is a spoon pass down from great great great great grandfather Pines don't let everyone take it" he rubs Dipper head "Really thanks" he puts it in his pocket"so what do you like to do" he ask him . "Umm I like to read. I 've been reading this new book and it's really cool. It's about monsters and mysteries, "he told him. "Yea that cool you know Dippy you remind  me of someone I used to know ".

Just then she can back and Stan picks her up and puts her on his lap. She flipped the book open. "And these are my rainbow stickers" "that is a lot of stickers, how long have you been collecting them?"Stan asked in amazement. "Seen I was 3 years old and there's my Princess Ariel sticker she is my favorite princess" "yea we're watched that movie a hundred times" Dipper teases.

"Grunkle Stan can you give us a piggyback ride" she said he nodded and picked her upside down.And picked him upside down too and walked around Mabel laughing and Dipper trying not to scream. Catherine takes a picture After they say goodbye to grandpa Sherman and grandma Faith. Then they hug goodbye to Grunkle Stan he leaves.The twins go get ready for bed Mabel tells tell their mom that he finished the movie. She watched it and she loved it. Dipper asks his mom "mom Grunkle Stan give me a special spoon" he shows her. "Dipper that says The Hilton inn he stole it from the hotel,don't believe anything Grunkle Stan says" she jokes.

She tucked him in bed and kissed him on the Head "I love you remember to always be there for your sister and to protect her " "of course mom”she moved over and tucked Mabel into bed and kissed her on the head too." Remember to always be there for your brother and protect him I love you" "I love you too mommy"she said gos to close the door she see Dipper crawls into her bed she tucked him in and they cuddle they go to sleep.She watches her babies sleep happily together and close the door.

The orthodontist

Dec,6,2008

The 9 year old twins sat at the orthodontist because Mabel needs Braces to straighten her teeth.Their mom and the kids wait in the waiting room "how are you doing" he asks her she looks a little nervous. "I'm worried. '' she said . "I can come in and hold your hand if you like. I'm scared of the dentist too. I will be right by your side" he reassured her.

"Honey bunny your fearless you can do this"Catherine rubs her head and tells her daughter “Mommy thanks for trying to make me feel better but I still nervous” she told her."Mabel Pines" the doctor said and they follow him.Holding hands she sit down the doctor explain what they are going to do they clean her teeth then put on a adhesive to hold the brackets on just the top row of teeth.

They have a TV pointed up so she can watch it. It's playing one of her favorite movies, the little mermaid . The doctor goes to get some more tools She sits in her chair in a ball and puts her rainbow sweater over her head and hides.He known Mabel has done a lot of weird things like laying on his bed upside down and imagining how people would walk,eating a scratch and sniff sticker and having to go to the emergency room, or meowing like a cat in her sleep but this was new. "Mabel what are you doing" he asks "Mabel not here she in sweater town". "Well I'm still going to stay here by your side I'm not going anywhere" the doctor comes back she peaks her head on of the sweater a bit. Then she pulls it down "are you ready for us to start" the nurse said "yes I am" she takes a deep breath and blows it out.

They start cleaning and drying the teeth after they put the adhesive on her teeth. Then they get ready to put on the brackets and she jesters her hand to get Dipper to come over. He moves the chair over.And grabbing her hand she calms down. They put the brackets on one by one and the wire on.Later they're all done she gets a pig sticker. They go out to the waiting room and the doctor explains how to clean her teeth. And what she can't eat chewy foods,crunchy foods,sticky food.

He suggested eating soft foods and chewing carefully and making sure to floss and brush. He gave her a paper with the thing he just said to help her. She's a little sad she can't eat gum and other stuff she used to.They go home and she plays with her tamagotchi and he plays on his DS then they had grilled chicken and soft carrots for dinner and a brownie. The kids put on a play for their parents they make props the stage and curtains. It’s set up in the living room. It’s about a wizard that is lonely and the girl with Magical powers has to help him fight a monster. Their mom loves it she takes pictures their dad laughs at their jokes. After the twins took their showers they flossed and brush their teeth. Mabel brush a lot afraid some food might be stuck then they get ready for bed." You still think I'm pretty right" she asked him " yes of course you're my sister and the braces will help your teeth be less squished" he told her. "Thank you bro bro" "you want a awkward sibling hug"he asks "yes please" they go out of their beds and hug "pat,pat".

Michael comes in and tucked them in to bed.And tells them he will always love them and they should always be there for each other and protect each other .They agree they will no matter what ,they will no matter what they go through or where they are they will always protect each other and be there for each other. “Good night daddy” Mabel said he kissed her on cheek “good buddy” he said to Dipper “ok” he replied his dad pulled his blanket on him.And he closed the door Mabel crawl in his bed and sleeps with him and they slept through the rainy winter night.

The movies

October/7/2010

11 year olds Dipper and Mabel go to the movies with their dad  . Mabel is on his shoulders Dipper is wearing his new lucky brown hat and a blue shirt and green shorts and a backpack.Mabel has her hair in a braid and is wearing a purple long sleeve shirt and pink pants. They sneak in snacks they are going to see toy story 3 Mabel is excited Dipper  is scared to see the movie. "Mabel I don't know about this I think it's scary" he shy told her

"what are you afraid of" she ask "the creepy teddy bear" he answered "buddy you can do this think about how great it will feel to conquer your fear. I believe in you" he reassured him "thank dad" he takes Mabel down from his shoulders ."If you get to scared you can squeeze my hand we see the movie together" She comfort him"123" they both shout "TWINS" they laugh "remember when you were scared to join Theater at school but then you find out you love it."she reminds him he nods his head.They go in their dad sit down and the kids sit next to each other the movie starts.

Michael pull out the snack he hid in his pants pockets they eat candy and popcorn.The movies play for a while then he see the Bear and he closes his eyes "dad what do I do"he whispers his dad says "Well, do you think maybe you can try to watch the movie,you might feel bumped if you miss it" he whispers. A couple minutes went by and slowly uncovered his eyes out and Mabel held out her hand and he held his sister hand and watched the rest of the movie.

And after they went home. She was watching a new show called My Little Pony on the purple couch"hey Dipper you want to watch this show with me" she asks. "Well I'm not sure about it but ok I'll try" he watched it and it's not bad he kinda likes it.With its Adventure and story,humor and cuteness. Then they go into their room and he plays Dungeons Dungeons and more Dungeons he trying to concentrate and she plays some 80's music in the CD player a little too loud. Dances "hey can you turn that off" he yells "what no" she said. "Can you use the headphones or something" he told her " well can I just turn down" she suggested ."Sure I trying to read" "oh I'm sorry sure" she turn it down and continues dancing.

The kids see Catherine painting one of her paintings in the dining room . Her straight light brown hair is in a ponytail "mom how did you know you were going to have us" Dipper asks. "Well I took a pregnancy test and then went to the doctor. And find out We were having fraternal twins, identical twins are when you have one egg that split into two separate babies you two came as two babies one boy and one girl we don't know at first we could if had two girls or two boys.But I got lucky you ended up being both. Then we pick out names and got baby stuff and put up purple wallpaper in the nursery" she told them "what about when we were born" Mabel asks.

Well we waited 9 months for you two to grow in my belly then I went into Labor.And had you at a hospital it was hard and scary. Mabel was born first ""alpha twin alpha twin" she cheered herself on "hey by 5 minutes what took me so long" he asked his mom . "Well when you came out you were having trouble breathing I was worried that was first time you scared me but the doctor help you that was the hardest day of my life.But it was Worth it to bring you my babies in to the world.And your dad was there and grandpa and Grunkle Stan'' she finish telling them.

"That how I got my birthmark" he said "yes dippy your birthmark means you are destined for greatness".She saids "and you my honey bunny with your problematic enthusiasm are also very loving to everyone you meet" she hugs her children "I love you two" she said they hug her back."we love you mom" he told her "yea we really do" Mabel added. "You know you two hated being separated as babies. Sometimes we would have to put you two together in the same crib and you would sleep all night" .

"Yea no matter where we go we always project each other" he said " we're best friends"she added they fist bump each other. "you'll always be my babies no matter how big you get" she loving told them and she kissed them on their heads hug her more. "Mom how does the baby get to the moms belly" Mabel said "you'll learn when you're older honey" she replies "why can't you just tell us" Dipper asks. "I promise you that you'll learn when your older time for dinner" she said Dipper grumbled "okay" Mabel sat down at the table.

Then they’re dad cooks dinner and they eat grilled chicken and a salad.Then they have a Cookie for dessert.Then they have their showers he was made to shower and they got ready for bed. Mabel nits a a pink sweater her grandma Dorothy taught her how to knit when she was 6 years old and Dipper reads a comic book their mom tucked them in and kissed them goodnight they go to bed.

Outside games

January /18/2012

The 12 Year old twins were playing in their backyard the backyard had a brown fence and a old light blue and white playhouse.And a small swing set with a slide they were sitting on the swings.Mabel is wearing light blue shirt with ponies on it and rainbow pants she asked "hey Dipper let's play house" "no aren't we two old to play things like house" he told her he is wearing red shirt it with blue shorts. "Well I don't think so please dipping sauce. '' she begged "ok fine but can I play the game after" she pinky swear.

They played together. She used her stuffed animals as the kids and she was the mom and he was the uncle they played for a long time. "Can we play something else please" he asked "in a minute I'm having fun" she told him." Well I'M NOT YOU PROMISE AFTER I COULD PICK THE GAME" he yelled and climbed up the slide ladder and sat back turned to her.

"What happened?" Catherine asks her daughter. "I don't know we played house together and he got upset" Mabel told her.She didn't realize that he didn't want to keep playing. "What do you think you should do? It's ok to play together but you need to think about what he wants to do too honey.You both need to be there for each other so you both can have each other's back" she told her.

Mabel agreed and climb up and slide "hi Dipper I'm sorry I didn't realize you weren't having fun"she apologized he turned around. "Thank you it's okay I'm sorry for yelling " "awkward sibling hug" she said "sure" they hug each other "pat pat" he said. "Think about how many times we had been there for each other. Like when we were learning to ride bikes when we were 7 years old."she reminds him "yeah that was kind of scary" he said "and funny you won't stop screaming."She laughed "Or when it was Valentine's Day in 5 grade and I didn't get any candy or cards"he said. "Yeah I almost got in a fight with the kids that make fun of you but the teacher said I could be suspended" "So I gave you some of mine valentines"she reminds him "Thanks sis".

"What do you want to do now?" she asked "umm can we play ghost hunters". They played at a haunted house together there. Mom calls. Them in for dinner they wash their hands in the kitchen the kitchen is small and little blue color and sit down in the small dining room the wall are a light orange color and table is a brown they have fish and a salad.They sit in the living room on the purple couch watch the Simpsons on TV.Then Mabel wants to play with Dipper they play Pokémon with his cards and have fun.

Then take their showers then their mom tucked them into bed and kissed them good night the kids. "Hey Dipper guess what" "I don't know what" "I love you" she whispers "I love you too" he whispers back.You can see winter nights,stars and the light from the moon outside their Square window. they can also see Mabel's glow in dark stickers she stuck on her side of her room,glow and shining on the dark looking tan walls the kids sleep through the night.

Michael and Catherine  talk about what to do with the twins for the summer.They have been going through a rough patch in their marriage and don’t want the kids. To see them fighting. Michael makes a phone call and talks to Stan about the twins staying with him for the summer. Also so they are not be alone by themselves while their parents are at work.And it would be nice for the kids to get outside make some memories that aren’t just boredly watching tv. Dipper would probably just play video games all summer. Mabel would probably just watch tv in their room as well. Their parents would send  them to a summer camp or something but they never been to a place like that before.And it's a lot of money to send two kids to camp.He thinks that a great idea and can't wait for June.Michael knows that he's not the most trustworthy person and he's cheep but he loves the twins. So it's set up the kids are going to Oregon for the summer.

May,30,2012 The day before the last day of school the twins eat breakfast at the small kitchen table their mom said "hey kiddos guess where your going for the summer". "Disneyland" Mabel guess "summer camp" Dipper ask he hope so "no you're going to spend the whole summer with Grunkle Stan" Michael told them. “He would babysit you two when you were little” Catherine remembers. "Oh ok I remember him a little bit it will be fun. Remember he sends us birthday presents and Hanukkah cards,well sometimes.” She tells Dipper “yeah he does call us on occasion but why don’t we see him more often ” he says. “I remember on thanksgiving he gave me some some stickers" Mabel said.

"And he gave me a a "special" spoon that he stole from an inn." But why?” Dipper asks “umm because we think it will be nice for you too to get some fresh air. And not Watch TV all summer” Michael explained hope he doesn’t ask the real reason they’re going away. “Ok but were are going exactly" he question. "Up in a little town in Oregon we will drive you kids up halfway and then you'll take the bus and he'll meet at the bus stop"Catherine told them."we already packed your bags and we will leave here by 7:00 am so today is your last day " their dad finished saying.They go to school then when they got home they wash up and packed the stuff they wanted to bring for the summer. And then started their trip in the morning driving on the redwood highway.And their parents drove for a while they got to the bus station.By 3:00 pm they were in crescent city CA then they get to a bus for 3 hours and arrive in Gravity Falls Oregon.

They said goodbye their dad he said to have fun write letters and he loves them .They hug him goodbye And their mom told them that no matter what happens always take care of each other and always project each other. They hug her goodbye she kisses them on the top of their heads. Their parents just need a few months away from themselves to resolve their issues.They don’t want the kids to be worried or involved in their problems. The twins ride for a couple hours then the bus stop they get off it's 6:00pm at night. A tall man in a green shirt tells them he's supposed to pick up Mabel and Dipper Pines and tell them to come with him down the road in the woods. They follow him he says he name is Soos he works for Mr Pines the kids trust him a little but they stay alert in case this turns out to be some kidnapping or something.That what they parents said to protect each other.

They see a shack with the woods it said the mystery shack on it and they know it's is the place the nice man said Mr Pines live here but he's sleeping. That what he was told Stanley was actually downstairs working on the portal.The man gives them some leftovers for dinner.After they eat the kids go upstairs to the attic where he said they would be sleeping. The twins go upstairs and open the door they see to beds one with a blue blanket,sheets and a pillow. And the other one with pink blanket, sheets and pillow they start to set up their room with the stuff they bought.They are so tired they crawl into bed and sleep. The next morning they meet their great uncle he ok a little grumpy.He says he has to go work and they have to help him with work he also tells them don't get in trouble.And they start a summer they won't forget.

[nextstopwonderland]

Hi!!! Can I request 21 “Staring into each others eyes” with Bryan/Yuta, please? 🥺✨✨

Anything for you, Lexie 😘 (Bryan/Yuta my beloved)

Oh look it’s another take on The Red Rocks Date by yours truly.

I’ll show you a place (713 words)

Yuta didn’t really meditate much before meeting Bryan. Claudio would tell him how Bryan taught him years ago, and how it really can help.

Mox has no interest in meditating and Regal, when he was around, thought Yuta’s time would be better suited on the mat.

But Bryan would just look at him, with an expression he couldn’t quite read, and say, “When you’re ready, let me know.”

It felt a little like a test, but Yuta wasn’t sure for what.

Lots of things feel like that with Bryan, and Yuta craves to be passing each and every one. He’s felt reignited by Bryan’s recommitment to them. Has heard Bryan say he loves him, multiple times now.

(Has wanted to know exactly what that love entails.)

And so when Bryan tells him he’s going hiking Yuta jumps at the chance to go. He gets one on one time with Bryan, but it’s never truly private. This feels like it could be a turning point.

It’s everything he hoped, Bryan talking quietly, seeing him so in his element — focused on nature but also focused on Yuta. Asking him questions, wanting to listen.

It’s after Yuta films him for the Okada promo — something he feels so honored to have been able to do — that he gathers up the courage.

“Teach me? How to meditate?”

Bryan smiles at him like Yuta just bestowed the best Christmas present.

They sit a little ways off the path, in one of the few shaded areas. There’s no one around them right now, only the sound of a crow in the distance.

“I’ll walk you through a basic meditation practice. You comfortable?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Find your posture. Rest your palms on your thighs, face up or down, whatever’s comfortable.”

Yuta does so, face up.

“Now close your eyes, and just listen to my voice.”

Yuta doesn’t mean to shiver, but he can’t help it. Bryan’s voice is so soothing, washing over him like a gentle breeze.

He follows the guidance: find a memory, an image, hold onto it, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Focus only on the place in your memory, let it fill you up, ground you. Breathe in for four, hold for four, out for six.

It only lasts about five minutes before Bryan pulls him back, tells him to lock the memory away, tells him to come back slowly, open his eyes.

He isn’t prepared for Bryan to be looking right at him as he does, and realizes Bryan must have been watching him this whole time.

It’s like he falls right back into that place he was in, looking at Bryan. Unsurprising since he’d been the subject of his focus.

He’d chosen the first time he ever saw Bryan walk into the AEW locker room, the moment when he’d dragged a hand through his hair, looked over at Yuta and smiled at him, warm and bright.

“Love at first sight,” Kris had said later that night. Yuta had snorted in reply, saying “I’ve seen him for years now, have the DVDs to prove it.”

“Not the same.”

And maybe she was right, because he hasn’t stopped looking at Bryan since. Has wanted his attention, focus, smiles, slaps, whatever he could get.

And now they’re looking into one another’s eyes, all alone amongst the Red Rocks and Yuta wants — he wants.

“What made you finally ask?” Is the first thing Bryan says.

Yuta shrugs, never breaking their gaze. “Just wanted to know. To be… closer.” He flushes as soon as he says it, awkward and fumbling.

Bryan quirks an eyebrow. “To your inner self?”

Yuta bites his lip, and shakes his head. “To — you.”

Bryan’s smile is a slow, revelatory thing, starting out as surprise and then turning softer.

He reaches out a hand, the two of them sitting crossed legged only a few inches apart. Yuta grabs it, letting out a breath as Bryan squeezes his palm.

“I’m glad,” Bryan says, pulling Yuta closer to him, their eyes still searching one another’s. “That you asked.”

Yuta only closes his eyes when Bryan’s lips meet his own, like a firework going off inside him.

He breathes out and kisses back.

He thinks maybe this’ll be a new memory for his next meditation.

[goldenpinof]

As much as I love the new dnpg era we're in (and Im not complaining in the slightest) in the back of my brain I am finding it a bit strange that dan and phil are currently creating the exact content that for the last 5 years they (especially dan) have been saying they are tired of making. The whole "heres our sponsor, please hit the bell, like and subscribe!" Content. It feels very nostalgic right now, which I love, but also isnt necessarily sustainable. And the idea that they're only doing it to pay the bills on their house doesnt sit right with me either.

Im wondering if maybe theres a bigger picture. I feel like the gaming videos they are churning out are to sort of ease us in to a new era of dan and phil. If maybe they are playing a bit into the nostalgia of dan and phil, to gain back the audience that they lost after 5 years hiatus, so that then, they can slowly start to transform the content and the brand of dan and phil into something that better fits them as they are now. Because an abrupt change after 5 years of being gone, would honestly kind of mean they would have to almost start from scratch (bar the few thousand people that have been following them throughout), and honestly idk if an abrupt change would work for them either, bc even with dystopia daily, it was a cool idea, and not badly executed (apart from just kind of stopping halfway through) but it was also so different to anything else, that I think people found it really jarring, because it didnt really feel like the dan people were used to. I also dont know how well it really represented dan creatively anyway. I feel like bringing the gaming channel back, and also making it clear that its going to be different, its not specifically limited to games, is allowing them to take us with them on the journey of figuring out their new creative direction, rather than starting a few projects that get announced suddenly and then not going anywhere. It also means that when they are working on things behind the scenes that take months or even years to come into realisation, that can also just be cancelled at anytime, they are not banking on their audience just happily waiting with nothing to show for it, and can atleast still produce content that they enjoy and we enjoy, so that when dan inevitably does more standup or phil announces a project or they announce a new dan and phil project, it didnt come entirely from nothing.

Idk, basically i feel like the gaming channel is only the start of something bigger, and I dont think that bigger thing is them reverting back to 2016 dnp. Im interested to see.

oi, big asks bring so much pain ehfeliwdskd only because my answers usually are also big as fuck.

what i find interesting about this relaunch of dnpgames is that it's treated like the main place for joint content. what Dan said in the baking video can only mean that what was posted on AP channel or Dan's channel before, will now be on dnpgames. this gives them (Dan specifically) a way out of the dan and phil brand. it's like the joint branding exists outside and in parallel to their solo brands but doesn't intervene (it still does with AP but maybe it won't in the future). there's a better, more strict division between dnpgames + what's allowed on it and AP and their social media. it's so interesting to see how far they will go with it. they might bring back small portions of what they did before the hiatus (livestreams, dan vs phil, spooky week, gamingmas, game series and etc) but there will be new stuff as well. i wonder if the promo for all dnp brand related things will go on dnpgames now. before that, it was on Dan's channel (tours, books). i'm manifesting ladydoor tour 2.0 if the gaming channel thrives and there will be an audience to fill out the venues.

don't forget that Dan's decision to resurrect dnpgames allegedly came only in 2023 and because of his semi-flopped tour and difficulties with the dvd. no one wants to throw money into it, unfortunately. something happened in Edinburgh with BBC (wad related or not, hell knows). this dnpgames return is like a filler between solo projects (re: they are not banking on their audience just happily waiting with nothing to show for it). and it will be dropped the moment they are offered something serious. unless that something is gonna be precisely dnp brand related.

i don't think there's gonna be a huge change in the direction of dnpgames. we missed it how it was, Phil missed it because it allowed him to work with Dan and have fun. it can co-exist. i have an unpopular opinion maybe, but today's vibes are so unhinged. it's different from what it was before the hiatus, and i'm not talking about gay stuff. it feels like we're constantly running somewhere with them, and i don't like it. too much, too suddenly. and for someone who likes rewatching videos to find something new or just relax and laugh, it's a very uncomfortable schedule. and even dnp in the videos seem a bit frantic. plus different editing styles are visible, so it's like constantly jumping on a trampoline never knowing how high. i like consistency, so i need time to adjust? it's not a criticism, just an observation.

i think i have a bit different opinion to yours :) if it's the start of something bigger than only in the variety of content, but i don't think dnpgames will live for more than 3 years. 5 max. and this insane schedule will be dropped eventually. because it's unhealthy and EXACTLY why Dan backed out in 2018.

thank you for sharing your thoughts! let's see how it goes.

[adultswim2021]

Aqua Teen Hunger Force #84: "Time Machine" | May 3, 2009 - 11:45PM | S07E06

Frylock has built a time machine, which Shake immediately hijacks. He elects to go to the year 8008, which he’s only spelt out on the digital read-out because it looks like BOOB. It actually just goes to Carl’s house, where Shake bashes Carl’s head with a lamp and steals his sleek leather jackoff chair. Shake lies to Frylock about the future, which Frylock thinks is full of giant cockroaches who be mean to you. Surprisingly, when Frylock finally attempts a future travel himself, he actually DOES find big mean cockroaches. What the heck? 

This is the paragraph where I spoil the ending, which is okay, because I do that on here regularly if you haven’t noticed. It turns out Carl’s house has been taken over by the large cockroaches and his living room has been dressed to look like a desolate future Earth. They claim they’re from the future and that they traveled back to Frylock’s present day to take his time machine from him. The plan falls apart with a lot of logic issues, and basically Frylock just figures out these guys are just assholes and not from the future. 

I tend to think of Aqua Teen Hunger Force as one of the more consistent of the first-gen Adult Swim catalog. Kinda like if the Simpsons maintained a season 9 quality of being less-perfect but still more-than-half good. This episode is pretty solid, but it does have a couple of elements that I found off-putting; namely Shake’s fart-themed parody of the Safety Dance and the little scene where the characters speak in subtitled hand-gestures. The Safety Dance thing is juvenile in an unsatisfying way, and the subtitle bit is basically feels like it's from a Zucker Bros. movie. I love Zucker Bros. movies, but it always rubs me the wrong way when certain shows indulge in that sort of thing. Especially cartoons. 

The theme song is slightly shortened in this episode, I noticed. I wonder if that’s a thing they’ve been doing and it hasn’t dawned on me until now. It’s just like, two seconds shorter, I think? Maybe I’m imagining it, but it seemed like they lifted out just a tiny bit of School D. saying like “check it, yeah” or something. Look, I don’t feel like making absolutely sure I’m not talking out of my ass here by actually A-B-ing the theme with different episodes. Somebody else can do this. PLEASE! I HOPE SO!

Speaking of audio differences: Shake calls Frylock a pussy in this episode and the words are “bleeped” out with cat noises. I checked both my recently-acquired iTunes versions of the episode, which is also bleeped. The volume seven DVD version has uncensored audio, which I read is the first release to include those salacious swears. I simply can't get enough of hearing cuss words without bleeps.

[dont-look-me-in-the-eye]

6. what is something that you’ve always wanted to do but have never been able to do?

so, before i answer this, you'll probably need some context.

2013 was the worst year of my life. i'm not sure why exactly. i think it was a combination of a couple factors. i was a kid, bad shit happened around that time, i couldn't speak english, whatever. it doesn't really matter, you just have to know that 2014 was the worst year of my life. i could answer this question straight-forwardly, but i'm a tricky bastard who likes telling stories. this one is true, though, and i've been trying to get better at telling true stories, rather than ones where the truth is filtered through at least 3 different running jokes i have with myself to prevent an ounce of genuine thought coming out of my head, because vulnerability scares me. what was i saying again? oh yeah. lemme start at the beginning;

i wasn't really the type of kid to play. i mean, i did mess around with a monster truck that my cousin left at our house, i had a little wind-up spiderman four-wheeled motorcycle (with no spiderman in sight, btw. i don't know what happened to him), and i enjoyed making up elaborate torture stories involving princess dolls and a few action figures we had laying around. but i didn't really play. playing like that was a chore.

i was, well, to put it a better way, annoying. i was the kind of kid to ask why a billion times until - actually, i don't remember. my memory of that time period is foggy. the point is, we were annoying.

so, when i learned to read, that was a trip, right. like, an entire world in your hands. someone who knew me back then would say that i was a bookworm. i'm not. reading is also a chore. but i got very good at looking like it was not.

fast-forward to around 2020ish. ah yes. the Unspeakable Years. when we got here, it's just... an eternity of 'meh'. nothing to do but to lounge around, wake up late, sit in a chair all day for school, blah blah, blah blah blah. not the worst years of my life, but the most... painful. because i wasn't really learning anything, and that makes me miserable. it also took almost four years to recover from.

anyways, going back again, at some point my parents got annoyed with me and decided to propose other avenues for information other than them. enter: the library. we went almost every day. we got most of our dvds from there. it's trashy and actually inside of a tiny school that most people avoid sending their children to, right next to a train station so it rumbles every twenty or so minutes, and has quite a limited amount of titles, so if you ask if they have a specific book, chances are, they don't. i still think it's the best place in the world.

when i say i didn't learn anything, i did, actually, but i didn't find a puzzle, anymore. i can't solve what's not there. it was just - gone. devastating. blank. nothing.

you know, i didn't play that much, but i used to entertain myself by staring at a wall and furiously contemplating questions. like why do things bounce and how does a pen work? it took taking apart a few pens to figure that one out. there's a satisfaction in discovering elegant solutions to mundane problems.

2013. 12? 15? it doesn't matter. you are sitting with me, as i am now, in our old house. ignore the police sirens. we are... outside. backyard, on the porch. it's nice. the sun is setting. have you ever wondered why the sky turns different colors when it sets? it's because of how fast different colors travel on the visible spectrum - ah. you're bored. let's go inside, we've seen this a billion times. we're in the kitchen. if you listen closely, you can hear a child pleading upstairs. ignore that, that's me. you can guess what's happening, i'm not gonna tell you.

i love reading. well, no, i don't like reading, i like hearing stories, i like learning new things. i find that i know a bit more than most kids my age. a little too much more.

let's go to me a few weeks ago. i'm sitting in the garage, new house. much bigger, sirens only a few times a month. even less. i'm staring at the floor, trying to understand derivatives because what the fuck. this is a common theme in my life. now i am pacing around the room, assigning objects random values, trying to - well, you get the point.

i always wanted to understand. pain, pleasure, mechanics, everything. i always wanted to understand everything. yeah. it'll never happen. everything is too broad, and while infinity does not exist as a number, it is a very real adjective. a mere speck like me on a slightly bigger bluer speck like earth could never understand everything.

but goddamnit, i'm a tricky bastard and i'll be fucked if i never try.

[pauls1967moustache]

For the dvd commentary thing, from wouldn't it be nice? :)

Before he can think of what to say, John says, "Here you go," and drops a little looped guitar string into the palm of his hand—a makeshift ring. Paul's heart skips a beat and then runs away with all of them. He's frozen there, looking at it; feeling John's eyes burning into his skin. He wants to say something—play into the obvious joke John's making—but he feels like everything he's ever felt in his life is caught in his throat, and if he makes a single sound, it's all going to come spilling out of him. He runs his thumb over the precarious curve of it, careful so as to not send it flying loose. If he even tried to put it on it might unravel. He's obviously not going to put it on. He's— He looks at John. John's glance flinches away, something guilty on his face, and Paul feels mortified because if John's looking guilty, it means there must be something to be sorry for splayed across Paul's features. Paul opens his mouth to cover for it, or think of an excuse, or Jesus Christ, fucking anything— but it doesn't come out. He's too overwhelmed.

(tough to pick just one passage!)

For the DVD commentary game

THE GUITAR STRING RING!!!! I am a romantic at heart, first of all.

This fic was a secret santa gift for @mydaroga who I I already followed, so I sort of had an idea of what they were into and I'd seen them talking about the Lennon/McCartney credit agreement before, which is where the idea of exploring that against the backdrop of John's real legal marriage to Cyn came from.

But! Before I got to that idea I had a few other ideas I tried out that weren't working, which I ultimately ended up stripping for parts and then mushing into this one. The guitar string ring was originally from a fic that was about the Paul/Linda John/Yoko double wedding week in 1969 (I might go back to this one at some point, but I did kind of take the meat out of it by stealing the guitar string ring lol).

Anyway, Paul is not unaware of his feelings, but he is kind of ignoring how upset he is by the idea of John being real life married to someone else, when they are only abstract songwirting married. John is aware of this, but also too scared to bring it up, so they've been sort of skirting it for the whole fic, but then John sees an opportunity and takes it.

I think John does mean it as a joke, or at least more light-hearted than it ends up being, but Paul has been so bottled up, up to this point, that he simply cannot take it as a joke. And John of course notices this and feels bad, because he doesn't want to upset Paul, but he's stuck in this impossible situation where he feels like he has to marry Cyn (and it's not like he could marry Paul anyway), and so he doesn't know what more he can offer apart from a jokey gesture.

As for Paul's state of mind, he obviously wants to say yes, but the gesture just isn't that simple, and he's been trying to be okay with everything, and he still feels the need to be okay with everything even when he isn't, and he wants John to mean it so bad that he just can't react at all.

I also just love the bit of Paul tentatively touching it. I've never made a ring out of guitar string, but I imagine it wouldn't be the sturdiest thing in the world. I like the symbolism of John giving Paul this frail little token of his love and Paul being so scared of it coming loose that he can barely touch it. He doesn't even want to put it on. It's a metaphor!

And, I'm just very proud of the idea of a guitar string ring in the first place. It's so quintessentially them. Like, this happened. Paul has it in a box in his house somewhere. It's already integrated into my beliefs.

[mrpuzzlessimp420]

...got punched swiftly in the face before he could even get close. This caused him to fall head-first backwards into the hard floors of the hallway, knocking him out.

Before he could fully lose consciousness though, the last thing he saw was Orange Juice running away, his orange blood peeking out of his wound from earlier.

Then everything went dark.

When he finally woke up at least thought he did. He was in a dark empty void, with nothing around him for miles.

Well, he might as well start walking or else he'd be bored for hours on end.

After walking for what felt like centuries, he finally saw something in the distance or someone?

Getting closer, it seemed to be an extremely short person with a rectangle-shaped head sitting at a desk with countless papers and a half-empty can of Dr Pepper next to them.

"Hello? Do you know where-a-Mario is?" The Japanese-Italian teenager asked as the short figure in front of him finally noticed him walking closer.

"Oh! You're not supposed to be here." The figure said looking up from the paper in front of them before focusing back down to their writing.

There was silence for 1.5 milliseconds before Mario asked another question, his patience running thin.

"What are you writing?" He asked as he sat down on the chair opposite the short figure, kicking his feet as he talked.

"Just some silly little stories. The one I'm writing right now is about the SMG4 crew fighting Mr Puzzles for a third time but during it, my BatteryAcid fankid descends from the heavens which causes chaos to ensue." The figure explained, not looking up from their page.

"What's BatteryAcid?" Mario curiously asked, his hand resting on his chin.

"It's probably best if you don't know," The figure said, forcing themselves not to giggle.

Mario looked around once again. Apart from this desk and chairs, there was nothing else around, just an empty void. He looked at the figure again, taking in their appearance this time.

The figure was shorter than Mario, which was a surprise due to how short he was. Their head was shaped similarly to Mr Puzzles but had a built-in DVD and VHS player. They also wore a white collared t-shirt with puffy sleeves and grey overalls. On top of their head was a hat similar to Mario's, except it had a hand-sewn emblem of an A on top. They also wore red fingerless gloves and a red bow tie with a star in the middle of it. The last thing he noticed was a USB-shaped tail that swayed as the figure wrote.

"Are you Mr Puzzles' sibling?" Mario asked.

"Sometimes I wish I was. He's sort of like my creator in a way." The figure finally looked up from what they were writing and placed their head on their hands. "By the way, you are absolutely insane about him and I love you for that."

"A-Thank you so much! Mario's never been told that before." He said, happy that someone accepts his yandere behaviour for once and doesn't see it as absolutely insane and crazy (it is). "Are you like god then?"

"To you? Maybe in a way. It's hard to explain really. Just call me P.V.A or the Author. The author gives me more mystery anyway."

"Like the Author of the Journals? My brother?" Mario referenced

"How did you- wait no I'm writing this right now of course you know that." They dismissed, going back to writing their work of fiction(?).

"If you created my world, does that mean you can give me spaghetti?" The spaghetti-obsessed teenager asked, leaning over to the writer in front of him in an obsessive and needy way.

"Oh yeah sure as long as it will keep you occupied before you wake up." The Author said, snapping one of their fingers which caused a plate of infinite spaghetti to appear on the desk.

Mario then started gobbling it down, not enjoying every bite. No one would believe Orange Juice that he nearly murdered him due to the brainwashing so he had no worries on his mind for when he eventually gained consciousness.

He had no worries anyways after all

he was Mario.

CONGRATULATIONS YOU GOT THE UNCONSCIOUS ENDING (this is not canon btw)

[positivelybeastly]

💬

"It's the damndest thing, Kurt."

They're sitting on the shore of this little - place, this island, this (prison) thing called Utopia, and Hank is just a ball of nervous, upset, fizzing energy. It's not a side of Hank that Kurt gets to see very often, he's usually so very composed, or rambunctious, or sardonic, or stoic, he's never like this.

Eventually, it gets to be a little too much and he takes a moment to pull off his glasses, breeeeeeathe, and exhale through the nose, his fingers rubbing gently at the bridge of his snout as he gestures in a particular direction.

"About - 10,000 miles that way is . . . Genosha. Give or take a few hundred miles."

He stops rubbing at his nose, but he doesn't put his glasses back on, just lets the gold bleed out of his eyes. Just stares out.

"16 million people dead. 16 million mutants. And we thought that that was the worst that it could get. We thought that there's no way that someone could possibly equal that level of destruction. How could you possibly?"

The 'But Wanda managed it' stays unsaid. Hank won't hear a word against Wanda, even now. He's maybe the only X-Man who won't snap at her back with a viper's hiss.

"And I think back, and I think . . . about standing there, in the rubble. I think about the fact that were it not for the respirator, I would have felt the kiss of the dead as their atoms slid down my throat like a lover's tongue, because they weren't just killed, Kurt, they were vaporised. There was nothing left, they were just. Gone."

He reached down into the sand and ground it between his fingers, watching the granules slip between them with a soft hiss.

"When I got back to the school, I just kept washing. I was so very extra-hygienic for a few weeks there. I kept feeling - dusty. Ashy. Like there was something on me that I couldn't touch, couldn't taste, couldn't smell, but it was there, I swear to - "

God. He stumbles on the word like he's going to be sick, throws his glasses to the ground away from him.

"There was this - atrocious movie. Oh my stars and garters, it was awful. It was lurking in the entertainment room back at the Mansion, I have no idea who bought the DVD, but it was called 'God's Army.' A movie about Mormons. In the Mansion. I mean, really, what next, 'Crash'? And there was this line, that even at the time I thought was just so very banal, but it stuck with me precisely because of that."

""Sometimes I think God does it on purpose. It's like He gives you a hundred reasons to believe, and then He just drops one or two for you not to believe. So that you can choose, to see if you really want to believe."

He laughed. It was an ugly, pained little noise.

"I have sixteen million reasons not to believe anymore, and the best anyone can tell me is that the times of greatest crisis are the exact moment when faith needs to most prevail. As if that, alone, were reason enough. It's not even remotely enough, Kurt, I need more than that.

No, Joe Hill had it right. 'I see God now as an unimaginative writer of popular fictions, someone who builds stories around sadistic and graceless plots . . . the author is unworthy of His own characters.' And what does He have to rebuke me, hm? Does He have a riposte?

Here I am! I want to believe, in anything right now, but I don't. I don't. I need a fact. I need a truth. I need - something, that I can hold onto, right now.

I need empirical proof. I need something I can touch. I need something real.

I need, a rock, and all I've got is sand!"

His breathing turned heavy and yet feathery, as if he were in the process of shaking himself apart, needing a good few moments to just - simmer, before he got to his feet and walked away, leaving his glasses behind on the beach.

[pinkiepiebones]

@somethingmuchmuchworse

"I guess you missed me," I chuckle as Robbie frames my face with his hands and leans down to pepper me with kisses. I fumble to get an arm around his neck and use my free hand to take my glasses off so they don't get in the way of his adoration. Both arms around his neck now, glasses in my fingers, I can and do kiss him back, maybe a little too deeply considering we're still at the bus depot, but we're a straight-passing couple so screw the apprehension of displaying affection publicly. He pulls back from the kiss and buries his face in my freshly re-dyed purple hair, giggling like that was our first kiss. I love him.

I put my glasses back on. He slings my backpack (full of fiber arts material, books I want to lend him, and some DVDs for our movie date night) onto his shoulder and we hold hands on the walk back to his place. He glances down at me and asks, "mind if we take the scenic route?" Of course I don't mind. The weather's nice. And it means I have that much more time with him.

I steal a look at the sky. We had worried about the moon for a while; between us we had consumed enough stories to know that tampering with space and time tended to fuck up the moon, but no one ever considered the sun, so I had taken to making little mental notes about it.

Still one sun here. Good.

Robbie takes me on a winding path and I love every step. "I saw three cats in that window one morning." "Ooh, that place has a Dungeons and Dragons night, do you play?" "I keep hearing that that building's haunted, I just think it needs some nicer paint is all." He's lived here long enough now that every road and alley has told him a story or two and he's recounting them to me like I live here, too, and I've been gone for a time, so he wants to get me up to date on the goings-on. I love him.

When we get to his apartment building he squeezes my hand and asks, "can I carry you up?"

"I can walk, Robbie."

He smiles. His eyes are as blue and warm as the sky. "I know. I just like holding you."

I duck my head so he can't see my grin. "Well, fine, if it's that important to y-eep!"

I don't know how he so effortlessly gathers me up- I'm definitely not some wispy slip of a thing- but he does and every fucking time he does this it takes me by surprise and I put my arms around his neck like I'm afraid he'll drop me, fingers interlaced, and he's grinning.

"I love how you startle when I pick you up."

"Shut up" I giggle, pressing a kiss to his lips. He practically hops up the stairs and we're in his place before I know it. I still don't know how he unlocks his door with my in his arms, but I don't ask. I slide out if his arms and take my backpack off his shoulders. He straightens up and looks at me with a sort of mock concern.

"I think that's why you're so short, you carry a heavy bag on your back. Stunted you."

It's part of our dance. I set my bag on the coffee table and take my step. "Or maybe you're just too old?" I say with the same mock concern. "There's not much in here, Robbie. You should really think about talking to your doctor about osteoporosis."

He blinks. "Isn't that something to do with bones?"

I sputter into a laugh. "Yeah, but what else am I supposed to say? 'Osteoporosis' sounds better than, like, 'muscle atrophy' or somethin', y'know?" I take a breath. "Point is, you're old. Super old."

He nods and busies himself in the kitchen. I start digging stuff out of my bag and he says "does that make you a grave robber?"

I take my glasses off in that dramatic way people do in movies. "What?"

Robbie comes back into the living room and sets a drink for me on a coaster on the table and settles on the couch with his own. "If a 'cradle robber' is someone who dates someone much younger than they are, would a 'grave robber' be the opposite? Someone dating someone much older?"

I put my glasses back on just so I can look at him over the tops of the lenses. "Are we really doing this? Or... are we doing this..." At the last word I turn and lean in to him, take the drink from his hands. He looks utterly confused- receptive, but confused.

I raise my hand and place my fingertips on his forehead, then, slowly, drag them down his face.

"The fuck," he whimpers.

I lean back and pick up a DVD from my little pile of bag contents.

"We're gonna watch this, and then you will understand."

Robbie straightens to look at the DVD case, then collapses backwards.

"Oh, no..."

I get up and put Face/Off in the DVD player. I flop back on the couch and Robbie pulls me into an embrace and nuzzles my hair. "The things I do for love," he sighs contentedly.

I love him.