#dvd commentary ask game

[pauls1967moustache]

Hellooo!!! Could we have your dvd commentary on this snippet from my beloved ‘tomorrow I’ll miss you’ please?! (even though you already did such a good job at showing their feelings)

"You know, he didn't want me to come today," Paul tells him. He says it as a joke—to demonstrate the state of George's protective paranoia—but John doesn't laugh. A perplexed, little frown creases between his brows, instead.

"What do you mean?"

Paul feels embarrassed for a moment, his cheeks warming starkly against the cool autumn air around them. He's realises it might have sounded like a bigger deal than it really is, what with John going all serious on him.

"George thinks it's this whole thing like—" he stutters out, trying not to go too obviously red. He takes a breath, focusing on the burning end of his cigarette instead of John. "Well, he has this daft idea in his head like it's going to be Hamburg all over again or summat, you know. Like we're going to become best mates in an afternoon, and then you'll disappear, and he'll have to deal with me."

It's not exactly what George said, but Paul can tell it was what he meant.

Do you want me to come with you? George asked him, in that same conversation about the book event.

I dunno if I'm going, yet. I'll probably have to work, anyway, but if you want to see him you should go, Paul had told him.

And then George said: I'll go if you wanna go—his voice all gentle, like he was trying to reassure Paul of something.

George always fucking did that—talked about John like he was only ever Paul's friend. It frustrates Paul. Makes him feel embarrassed for bringing John up in conversation, when it isn't that he's desperate to talk about John, or whatever George seems to think. John's a thing they share. Paul brings him up because he figures George might like to talk about him, too, from time to time. But then George always turns sarcastic, or wary, and it ruins the mood of whatever story Paul wanted to reminisce about in the first place.

And really, Paul doesn't always want to deal with it; so he didn't say anything else about the book event, and he didn't say anything this morning, when he decided he was going to go.

"Why would he have to deal with you?" John asks, his voice even enough that Paul figures he—thankfully—hasn't noticed Paul's unplanned embarrassment about his flub.

"I don't know," Paul shrugs, taking another drag of his smoke. "He's not my bloody keeper."

He notices John watching him carefully, out of the corner of his eye. He holds out the cigarette in offering, not sure what it is John expects.

For the DVD commentary game

Ooh, I actually have lots to say about this one! For starters, when I was outlining this fic I was very precise about the reveal of information. I knew this scene was going to be the reveal of their relationships: first Paul's wife, then John's lover, then what happened in Hamburg with each other.

But I didn't originally have an introduction to that yet, they just went straight into talking about Paul's wife. I wanted it to be a bit more fo a shock than that though, and I didn't feel like the fic had addressed George enough up to that point (something I felt like John would've asked about, but didn't fit in anywhere else). So I wrote that they start by talking about George, and once Paul accidentally hints that maybe what happened in Hamburg had more of a significant effect on him than John believes, John gets curious/desperate enough to bring up the wife Paul hasn't mentioned at all.

The other thing is that later on in the fic, we learn just how devastated Paul actually was by what happened after Hamburg when we get that flashback to Paul crying when he realises that John's genuinely never coming back, and George finds him. This is like one of the first scenes I had for the fic, and again - I planned this very precisely - so I couldn't really get into just how upset he was yet, because it's going to come up later. I could only hint at it.

The good thing about this fic is that Paul is the denial king, so his POV is tailor-made for that kind of unreliable narrator nonsense. Paul never really acknowledges his feelings, but I could give an idea that they were there by using George's protectiveness. Paul says George had to deal with him, but we don't yet know what that really means.

And then, bringing George into it created this whole backstory of George as the one who had to put Paul back together after the heartbreak John caused him. Like, my brain went into detail about this. There's a whole mini-fic of George's post-Hamburg POV in my head. So George knows what seeing John again will mean to Paul, and he is rightfully concerned about how that will turn out given that from his POV John ditched them both and then Paul was so devastated he almost quit music entirely.

George kind of doesn't like John anymore because of this, which is why he doesn't join in on Paul's John stories the way Paul likes. But Paul doesn't like to feel judged, so naturally, he doesn't want to actually be honest about his desire to see John - even if George sees right through it. George is trying to leave space for Paul to be vulnerable about all the John-related feelings this is surely bringing up to the surface and Paul is going, no thanks! because he knows George won't approve, (and he just doesn't like talking about his feelings).

John is obviously not aware of any of this and is just trying to figure out what the fuck he'll have to deal with me is supposed to mean.

[ajscico]

“Warriors said I wasn’t around enough.” All through the telling, there was this thread in the words that Twilight seemed to think this was a requirement of himself to be helpful. He used ‘useful’ as his choice of words-- though this failed to set Time’s alarm bells off until later-- to be better somehow. Finally, Twilight let slip his companion on his quest. Twilight had joked with the others about the ‘princess as beautiful as the setting sun’ who had broken his heart but it was worse than Twilight had let on. She’d left his Pup without a word and left him thinking it had all been his fault. Three help this kid … Time sent a desperate prayer into the universe and threw in a plea for wisdom while he was at it. 

“Pup, I can’t speak for your companion.” The goddesses knew he’d been searching for answers to Navi’s departure since he was a child.  It was awful to know his descendant  had suffered a similar experience. “But I can speak for myself and you need to know.

You are enough. We love you. I love you. I’m so proud of you and the goddesses better give us enough time to prove that to you.” That was the straw that broke his pup once again as the quiet sniffing that had been Twilight trying to hold himself together gave way to full aching sobs. Time pulled his Pup tighter to him. Twilight cried himself out and all Time could do was hold him through it. 

DvD commentary please? 🥺

So it's really interesting to me you chose this section and I kind of want to know why but here goes.

This section starts with...trying to reference the original inspiration. Warriors's words in Good Enough made Twi make a more conscious effort to switch more frequently. I also don't remember right now whether that was actually who bonded well with Wolfie Vs Twilight or if I was still deciding if I was just gonna rewrite the whole story rather than just crediting it as "something I wrote to cope with the angst, sorry OP" and used my own personal version of who would bond with which side of Twilight.

"Useful" is definitely in reference to the chapters as Ginarosesdale did it. I needed Twilight to talk to Time, to ramble and tell his story and let it all out but words in dialogue form weren't working so we get the summary from Time. Not picking up on the self-deprecation until much later in the stories is... very tied to the idea in my head that "heroes of courage they may be but wisdom is not their forte" so it takes Time a little while to pick up on the thread.

Midna is so pivotal to Twilight’s regret. The entire first chapter of Good Enough was focused on Twilight’s original journey. I, however, have not played Twilight Princess. My context is from fics, from watching clips, from asking my brothers and friends who have played the game, and the Zelda wiki. So... the exact nature of the journey and that scar on his heart was also left to remain vague

But! It was a flash of genius when I realized that "companion leaves forever at the end of the journey" is a trait the two of them share. While Time and Navi’s relationship is obviously different than Twilight and Midna's, their departure without explanation or hope of return haunts them both.

Then we get where it is very obvious I'd been influenced by Twilight's breakdown in Make It Stop. Words are hard for Time but seeing his pup so close to breaking means he needs to say *something*. This is where we get the "...I can speak for myself and you need to know. You are enough. We love you. I love you. I’m so proud of you and the goddesses better give us enough time to prove that to you."

And once again showing the influence of Make It Stop with Twilight’s falling apart at that point. A single hint of indirect praise in the comic conversation with Malon was enough to have him floating the rest of the night. Imagine if it was said directly to him, by the man he knows becomes The Hero’s Shade, and genuinely meant... cue the waterworks.

Time being helpless to do anything but hold his kid... loose reference to IRL and seeing breakdowns and meltdowns and being helpless to help but trying anyway.

Thanks Nancy Dear for the ask. ❤️ Glad you enjoyed the story enough to prod me to actually finish it.

[astroboots]

Hi!! Hope you're having a great day Cici!💕

I just saw your latest reblog and I couldn't help but want to know more on what's going on in these two scenes🙈😩💕

Ch 10 was one of my absolute favourites and genuinely had me grinning the whole way through!💓

Ok ok, so! We obviously Know what cielitos thinking here, and ig I can more or less guess what starks thinking but what about Miguel!?! To his knowledge he totaaaally had her fooled, so imagine his surprise when he sees her at stark tower !!!with the man stark himself!! And acting all buddy buddy too!!😳

Yeah this scene had me h o w l i n g👹🙈🥰🤡it was SOOOOO GOOD! And yes once again, I ask for Miguel's thought process here and a little bit of starks too if it's not much🙈 cause to stark I can't help but think all this must be awfully hilarious😂I just know he was having so much fun pushing Miguel's buttons 😂😂 man was low-key third wheeling with all the tension between cielito and Miguel😂

And yeah that's it!! I hope you're doing well and remember to take care of yourself!, especially now that EYEM's over, please get some rest and treat yourself to lots of nice food!💕you deserve it!!💓

DVD COMMENTARY ASK GAME

Boy oh boy am I happy that you picked this paragraph out of everything.

The thing with that scene is that because it's from the limited POV of cielito we didn't at all get to see what was going on with Miguel there and it's always been my biggest regret! Cause in the actual scene as I imagined it and told both TWP and my husband as I was writing it is that from Miguel's perspective. He had smoothly broken into the penthouse, undetected by Stark's sophisticated surveillance system, dismantling each boobytrap and foreseeing each detection device and rendering them harmless. Remember that he's also (when he wants to be) graceful and can move silently and quickly despite his large size. So imagine that this man has gone through ALL OF THAT! undetected by Jarvis, and he's just about to enter the room where the arc reactor is when he picks up Cielito's familiar voice with his spideyhearing and just FREEZES!!!

All of a sudden he's crawling all the way back into the main foyer, not giving a fuck about being detected because: WHY IS SHE HERE!!!

and the scratching noises that Cielito hears on the ceiling? Yeah that Miguel, claws coming out to angrily scratch at the ceiling (not because he needs those to crawl up there) but because they come out when he's emotionally excited and this man is SEETHING! when he sees Stark flirt with her and her NOT REJECTING HIM WTF?!?!?!

It kills me that I wasn't able to show that scene from miguel's pov cause this whole sequence had me howling when I was imagining it.

As for the second scene and Stark's "Are you single" comment.

Our spideyman's immediate thought is: DOES SHE LOOK SINGLE TO YOU ASSHOLE!!??!??!!

Because here's the thing. Cielito is not nena, she's not his wife. He knows that on a logical level. But emotionally? He can't help but treat and see her as his. his to protect, at least. And it's hard to see another man flirt with the woman you love and were married to for years, a sleaze nontheless (which in Miguel's eyes, Stark is sleazy) waltzing in there with those lame lines and his wife is INTERESTED?! are you fucking kidding me!?

The thing with jealousy is that I think it comes from a place of insecurity. And I think Miguel himself finds it a shock at how jealous he is. I don't think Miguel was very jealous with nena, why would he be? He was very secure in that relationship. He knew that his wife didn't really have eyes for anyone but him (in the same way that he wasn't interested in other women besides her), they were very devoted to each other, so there was no point in him being jealous. But with cielito? He can't help but love her, and for him, in this moment of time, when he sees this stark guy flirt with her and HER CONSIDERING IT, he realizes that oh... Miguel's devotion and love for her might not be reciprocated-- and the green jealous monster in him is out in full force.

As for Stark? Stark's just having the time of his fucking life! this is hilarious to him. His inner thoughts is basically: "Man this guy is making it easy, this is so fucking funny!"

Especially because he's figured out that Miguel is obviously smart and capable, smart and capable enough to breach his entire security system and to bring a guy down so easily just by making him jealousy that's a payback too sweet and funny not to do.

[callivich]

I used to love DVD commentaries that writers used to do for their fanfics on livejournal. Fanlore describes it as “written commentary or gloss that accompanies a given piece of fanfiction. The commentary can be written by the story's author or beta reader, or by another fan.”

There’s so many stories in this fandom that I’d love to know more about. So, I’ve made a list of questions that writers can use to do their own commentary of their fanfics.

This is open to all writers! Pick your favourite story you’ve written or your most popular or the one you think deserves some more love! Or ask your followers to suggest their favourite fic of yours!

E.T.A - I’ve made a blog for this - @shamelessdvdcommentary 💖

You don’t have to answer all the questions, feel free to pick and choose or come up with your own questions to ask!

Which fanfic is your DVD commentary about?

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

What was your favourite scene to write?

How did you come up with the title?

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

Favourite line in the story?

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this?

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

Ask your followers to pick a snippet (no more than 500 words) and share your thoughts about it.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

[cornflowerbluewrites]

And then Tim finally looks at him and there is sorrow and guilt written plain as day in every line of his face. Dick takes a half step back, alarm bells ringing in his head as Tim says, “I’m sorry.”

Which, by itself would be alarming, but then Tim reaches out and in one swift movement, slaps one end of a Batcuff around his wrist, the metal swinging through the mechanism and then around to lock on Dick’s wrist. In the next moment, he had slapped the other end of the cuff around the metal bar of the cot and grabbed his belt, pulling it away just as Dick makes a grab for it.

“Tim,” Dick says, watching as Tim rapidly retreats with his belt clutched tightly in his hands, “Buddy, why did you handcuff me to a cot?”

“I’m not uncuffing you,” Tim says, his voice resolute.

“Okay, not what I asked,” Dick says, trying to figure out if he can reach for any of the panic buttons on him without Tim noticing.

-

🥺

Alrighty! Let's crack into this scene!

Honestly, all of RRRR is so much fun for me to write, but I especially have fun when I'm playing around with who has access to what kinds of information. In this particular scene, Tim has access to a whole lot more information than Dick does because Tim remembers all the previous loops and Dick doesn't.

Tim is also, to put it loosely, at the end of his rope here. Because he keeps waking up to Dick joking with him in the kitchen and Dick not remembering the day before, and that means that Tim (and all the other Bats) failed. It means that Dick died again and the day has repeated.

So he's trying to do his best to keep Dick alive, but he also knows that Dick isn't going to understand why they're doing this. And he does feel bad about the fact that he's going to lock Dick in the medbay without any real explanation as to why.

There is also contributing factors into why they collectively didn't tell Dick for several loops that I'm withholding because Dick doesn't know it so my lovely readers don't get to know it either, lol. That's my secret to keep (at least for now ;)).

So Tim has much more of the picture than Dick does and he's swiftly running out of ideas on how he can keep Dick alive through the day, which is what everyone is pretty sure is the end condition because Dick's death restarts the loop immediately.

Hence the Batcuff.

Tim also knows that he has to move fast because Dick has been doing this longer than Tim has, so he has a plan in place and he's not taken by surprise, which is why he's able to grab the belt away from the table.

Dick then gets to have the very reasonable response of asking why Tim locked him to the medbay and Tim, who is having a much different conversation, tells Dick that he's not unlocking him, because eventually that was where the conversation would go and he's cutting right to the point. His reaction leads to Dick trying to start problem solving in that he needs to push a panic button (because you cannot convince me that there are not several Bruce mandated panic buttons on all the Bats at all times) to alert everyone else that Tim is not behaving rationally as far as Dick is concerned.

This scene is important because it starts the loop where Dick does get told about the time loop and then hears his family start dying without the opportunity for him to go help them in any meaningful way until it would be too late, but they've already communicated to him what the restart condition is. And all that starts here, with Tim making the decision to try and prevent Dick from escaping in his own way.

From a the writer's view, I needed Dick in the medbay for this loop, and Tim was the perfect vessel for it! The rest is just fun stuff I get to add on top for extra flavor, lol!

Ask for more fic DVD commentary!

[plusultraetc]

for the fic writer asks: 13, 17, 19?

Thank you for the ask!!

13. what's a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

The 'if you can't figure out what to write next, the problem is actually ten sentences back' thing!! It genuinely changed my life and is so so helpful. Sometimes I don't even need to get rid of the ten sentences--just move them or tweak them and carry on my merry way.

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

If the split screen technique is failing me, I do the most difficult thing on the planet to do: take a break. I try very hard to safeguard my writing time, so it's always a bummer when I realize I need to allocate some of it for rest & recreation & inspiration. Some favorite hobbies for doing so are reading, watching a show, or playing a game--just engaging with another story in some way! I also really enjoy drawing and art journaling--anything that works out a different creative muscle than writing.

(For writers block specifically, I listen to music and Imagine Scenes. Sleeping at Last is a particular favorite artist for this purpose, except if I'm stuck on an erasermic fic, in which case I for some reason listen to Noah Kahan nonstop. The amount of times I've played "Forever" in the past week alone is bananas but like. the edges of your soul I haven't seen yet!!! now I'm glad I get forever to see where you end!!!!!)

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

For characters it's Shinsou, for relationships it's Aizawa & Shinsou, and for additional tags it's Canon Compliant--so basically, the expansion pack's influence cannot be overstated 😂 (although, more than half of my non-expansion pack fics are mostly canon compliant, so it's not just that series!)

[luthordamnvers]

about that DVD thingy:

"Alex extended an envelope towards her, Lena’s loopy calligraphy on the side of it, only spelling Kara’s name.

As soon as she saw it, Kara got the bad feeling too. She opened the envelope and read the letter as quickly as she could. She couldn’t believe her eyes.

When she turned towards her girlfriend, the smoke and the light shoot back towards the mortar. J’onn had stopped touching his temple, and Brainy had taken his crown off his head.

Lena smiled sadly at her, registering the letter in her hands, and then, her eyes rolled back and she fainted. Kara caught her before she could really get to the floor.

Kara’s eyes were flooded with tears. “Don’t do this to me, Lena Luthor.” She said, forgetting the presence of anyone else in the room. “Don’t you fucking dare do this now that we are finally together, after the secret identity, villains, the end of the freaking world, the secrets and the family feud. Not now that we are happy, Lena.”"

I was mostly curious if you were always building up to that in the fic 👀 also I liked your usage of kara cursing and what are your thoughts on that

Hey C!

From: Hell was the journey (but it brought me heaven)

No, actually. The fic was always going to end with Lena using magic to solve the problem, but as I was researching magic and how I wanted to portray it, there was a lot of mentions about intentions and how spells could bounce back to the caster. And I was really drawn to that, and I felt that it was the thing that was missing when I first outlined the story. I was really drawn to the idea that Lena would be aware of this danger, and how she would see it as a risk she was willing to take to save Kara and their family.

It really worked on my favor that I had decided to write the last few chapters from Kara's POV, so you as a reader (and maybe Kara too), could tell that Lena was hiding something, that she was saying goodbye a few times too. That she wrote the letter, as a failsafe.

I decided not to write the letter itself, because as a reader, Kara's reaction would tell you what was happening, and as a writer I felt it would break the flow and action of the scene.

As for Kara swearing, I do believe she does swear a lot. She's very careful where and when though. She wouldn't swear in the supersuit or in public. The tower, is fair game. She would swear as KD, in public, if she's angry enough, (like the scene in that same fic with Winston at Catco) She would drop a few Kryptonian swearing words too. I just think she does it way less than Lena or Alex 😂

Anyways, thanks so much for the ask, friend. Very appreciated ��

[wetcatspellcaster]

Not sure if this is 500 words but this section omg. dying to know what Astarion was thinking when he had seemingly won, only to get stabbed lol

Rosalie pulled back from Astarion, who seemed oblivious and content, eyes shuttered and half-lidded with bliss. She wondered if he’d even noticed his charm was broken.

It soon became clear, as she plunged the makeshift stake into his chest.

His eyes snapped open as he cried out in pain, then looked down at his front in open incredulity. Rose pulled back her hand, and then leaned into it fully, jamming her whole shoulder behind it and pushing the chair leg in deeper, for good measure. It went further this time, the rib now successfully bypassed, and the sound that came from him was animalistic, as she felt blood begin to coat her knuckles. She decided that was enough, and immediately started backing away, onto the side of the room with the fireplace.

“Gods!” Astarion shrieked, “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me?” She demanded, humiliation and anger and unbridled fury making her nearly blind, as she stumbled over her own feet. “Me? You kidnap me, you take my magic from me, and then you place me under a charm? How is that any different from being Feebleminded, you absolute, wretched cunt!”

Astarion tried to get out of his chair, but couldn’t seem to manage it. It was as if the stake was a leaden weight, pinning him in place like a bug. Rosalie made her way backwards, not taking her eyes off him as he reached down, and tugged the chair leg out of himself with a low, pained groan. It was coated in blood, as was the shirt, but only by a few inches. She hadn’t reached the heart - not that it mattered. Again, that wasn’t how the Ascendent would die.

“I really don’t like these tedious, vulgar fights we keep having,” he said in a low voice, tossing it aside. “But you keep leaving me no choice.”

Between one blink, and the next, he was moving.

But the stake had slowed him down enough to do its job. Rosalie had reached the fireplace.

Astarion grabbed hold of her arm, making her cry out in pain.

“I love you,” he said, “don’t you understand that? What it means for me, to even admit it? You say you love me too, so why are you so intent on prolonging both of our suffering? Why do you have to keep making things so difficult?”

Rose picked up the iron poker resting next to the grate. No time or spells to heat it, but oh well. Blunt force trauma would do.

She swung round, and backhanded Astarion across the face with it. He cried out, which meant it was somewhat effective, so she did it again, this time cracking him across his shoulder. The metal dented a little, but he also went reeling.

“Fuck you,” she seethed, breathlessly. “You take my magic from me? Well, fuck you. I don’t fucking need it. You are going to wish I did. Loving me will suck for you. Go fuck yourself.”

Thank you for playing!!

What if the only intelligent thing I had to say was just.... >:)

Anyway, what was Astarion thinking? Just generally? What an idiot.

But in more serious commentary - I've said this a few times in comments, but in my eyes Ascended!Astarion is a Charisma 10 man who's only company is now people he literally controls who exist to please him, and mortals he doesn't really get bc he is Other to them, but who he can charm to get his way. I wonder how many 'normal' conversations he has these days, where people aren't actively trying to please him or appease him and are scared at him or are just magically coerced into compliance, and how rusty his skills of actual relationship maintenance and even just social interaction have gotten. I also doubt whether he recognises what a 'normal' conversation, with all the inconveniences of anxiety and potential disagreement, even looks like anymore, or if he does see it ultimately as an exercise with frustration that could easily be bypassed by the tools at his disposal.

I think he also feels entitled to use those tools, as all he's actually bypassing is just the boring mores of social etiquette, more than anything else.

All this to say, I genuinely think he gets what he wants out of this charm: a productive conversation, where he gets straight answers to his questions and no evasion.

And you're right! He does think he's won, because he hasn't actually done anything 'wrong' or 'evil', and when you force this woman to be honest, she tells him she loves him! They've gotten to the heart of the issue, finally! Everything else was just posturing, or saving face, or morality, which will be overcome in time... now that they're being honest with each other. And aren't all good, healthy relationships built on honesty, first and foremost?

(Also in his mind, Feeblemind is permanent, but all of the measures here - the braceleters, the charm - are just temporary things that he 'knows' he'll stop using eventually, once they're over this little snag in their relationship. I extrapolated this attitude out from the way that the Ascendent threatens Spawn!Tav in-game with 'these are things I could do, but I won't ever need to so long as you're good!' With the break up, that changes to 'these are things I have to do right now, but I won't always need to, once everything has worked out..."

Idk, I just think that the way you show the man that he's taken the violating nature of his powers for granted and forgotten how invasive they can be is... with violence.

In terms of what he's thinking once they are fighting, and the dialogue I wrote here, in particular "why are you so intent on prolonging both of our suffering?" Astarion of the game is probably well-versed in overcoming other people's reticence and shame in his seductions, right? And if someone plays hard to get, he's also got the tools to overcome that. But I think he probably very much resented that part of his work (it made him more culpable bc he had to be the one to push, he also probably saw a lot of people 'faking' playing hard to get and saw a lot of it as an act just as tawdry and shameful as what he was doing, etc). So that frustration is plain here... this woman has already told him she loves him. They were in love in the past. So whatever qualms or refusals she has left is probably just fake, to look like a good person, etc. and it's denying both of them (but most importantly him) the only thing he actually wants. So I imagined a lot of frustration at the actual social etiquette of seduction bubbles up here, when he's now supposed to have to do that anymore, coupled with a temper tantrum, coupled with being STABBED.... YEAH. He's angry and not a little fucked up.

And of course, Rosalie's behaviour is perfectly justified, bc she's just been violated and forced to admit some embarrassing things. I actually think embarrassment and shame is driving her, as that's where the anger response comes from - it's easier to be mad at the violation, than examine anything else, much less what's just been said.

And she's certainly not going to examine the emotions she's feeling with that man stood in front of her. (That's why she examines it with Shadowheart later, instead)

She was also just so fucking terrified at not having magic. I tried to sublimate it in the writing of the chapter, because it's from her POV and she's being unreliable in the sense that she's trying to hide that fear from herself to avoid feeling helpless and powerless... but hopefully the final thing she says in the quote you've sent shows that that was the biggest violation all along.

I'm very proud of "loving me will suck for you." I think that's both very sexy of Rosalie, and very sexy of me, tbh.

As for the actual action of this scene, I don't have anything deep to say, I hadn't staked Astarion yet in any timeline so I thought it would be funny if that happened. And then the iron poker was just there for some catharsis for Rose, more than anything.

DVD commentary ask

[ghosts-of-love]

idk how many words this is but for the dvd commentary thing the scene in adored where pat finds cap crying after cadets!

ahhh thank you!! okay so i've just copied the scene into a word doc and then added a bunch of comments and i've got print screens here because i couldn't think of a better way to do it haha!! i hope it makes sense generally and isn't too blurry!! i can also expand on anything i've written further if you'd like!! <3 <3

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

More for the commentary:

It only makes her cry harder. The soft rustle of the heavy silks falling into place is mortifying.

The Darkling sighs, reaching inside his kefta and retrieves a silk handkerchief, of course even this is black. He dabs at her tear streaked face.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

He strokes her hair. “My informants in Ketterdam report never actually spotting him at University. Do you suppose he has a mistress?”

“I…don’t think so.”

“You haven’t accepted, have you?”

She shakes her head.

“Of course not. Well with any luck he’ll be besotted enough to come back. Write to him, string together whatever romantic nonsense you can think of. That you miss him, that you’re eagerly awaiting his return to court, and that you’ll have your answer for him when he does. That will give him something to look forward to.”

“I don’t know if I can even send him anything.”

“His mother writes to him. His replies are slow, but credibly his own. I suspect there is a go-between but wherever he goes traipsing off to, he’s still able to receive correspondence.”

She nods, not sure she wants to know how he’s so certain of these things.

“When you are invited to the Tsaritsa’s parlor for tea, you must attend. Don’t beg off with a headache, or that you’re behind on studies. Go. Endear yourself to her, tell her about your little sailing trip, and ask her opinion for wedding preparations. Start picking colors and the style of lace.”

“I will,” she says hoarsely.

The Darkling sighs. “Go sleep off your woes. We have a long journey ahead of us. You need rest.” He kisses her temple. It’s a struggle not to curl into him, to cling for comfort, and that’s always what hurts her most, far more than his cutting words. She thinks, no matter what else she feels, she might hate him a little for it.

DVD Commentary Meme

Oh man. So this is the fun drama fic but it’s also really not. The main relationship throughline is so miserable.

It only makes her cry harder. The soft rustle of the heavy silks falling into place is mortifying. 

I will be very real with you, I first wrote this scene to be set after they’ve already gotten to the Little Palace, so this was supposed to be a door shutting. And I think like that sound can have like a sense of finality.

I ultimately thought the encampment was a more fun setting and I switched out that beat for the tent flap but shfhff it doesn’t have that same vibe.

Anyway he did humiliate her on purpose here! He’s of the opinion— and has cultivated that perspective in her— that any sign of emotion or vulnerability is inexcusable weakness. So it’s a pretty loaded choice that he would invite someone in to see her sobbing openly (unsaid: like a child, how immature, and melodramatic etc) because he reprimanded her. And that’s not a faceless guard or servant she’s never going to speak to at length. That’s David! She’s going to have to look him in the eye later!

The Darkling sighs, reaching inside his kefta and retrieves a silk handkerchief, of course even this is black. He dabs at her tear streaked face. 

So. So this is abusive lol. This dynamic is meant to be read as abusive. And while he’s never lashed out at her quite like this before she does note later that there’s a pattern to him berating her or icing her out (hurting her on purpose basically) and then either comforting her or at least trying to win her over again.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

😞

He strokes her hair. “My informants in Ketterdam report never actually spotting him at University. Do you suppose he has a mistress?”

There is literally no way in hell he’d guess what Nikolai’s actually up to

“I…don’t think so.”

Alina’s like “I’m not sure he’d have the time 😭”

“You haven’t accepted, have you?”

Said with familiarity and exasperation. I think a key difference between this fic and canon is that there is genuine familiarity? In the books he like never at all wraps his head around who Alina is as a person, but at this point he’s had more time/she’s just grown to be more like him so she’s less confounding to him.

She shakes her head. 

This is an interesting point of continued defiance for her imo bc it’s like both out of her wanting to convey somehow that her relationship with Aleksander means something to her? She is emotions driven, he thinks all emotions must be crushed lmao. So even though it’s… ostensibly about him/in his favor almost… she’s still like going against him by being like “Hey my feelings matter.” It’s also like the single bit of agency she has in the larger situation of the engagement that like everyone else have arranged and decided for her.

“Of course not. Well with any luck he’ll be besotted enough to come back. Write to him, string together whatever romantic nonsense you can think of. That you miss him, that you’re eagerly awaiting his return to court, and that you’ll have your answer for him when he does. That will give him something to look forward to.” 

Of course he has to take a moment to point out that she was stubborn and didn’t do what he wanted— even though at the moment it does play into his strategy lmao

“I don’t know if I can even send him anything.”

This is more her being reluctant. Her dynamic with Nikolai has been refreshingly genuine and she doesn’t want to fabricate like flowery declarations of love that he would either see through, or worse! Take seriously.

“His mother writes to him. His replies are slow, but credibly his own. I suspect there is a go-between but wherever he goes traipsing off to, he’s still able to receive correspondence.”

Credibly his own because… he’s been surveilling his correspondence… for how long?

She nods, not sure she wants to know how he’s so certain of these things. 

There’s a couple times in this fic where Alina considers something about him and is like “You know what? I don’t want to know!”

“When you are invited to the Tsaritsa’s parlor for tea, you must attend. Don’t beg off with a headache, or that you’re behind on studies. Go. Endear yourself to her, tell her about your little sailing trip, and ask her opinion for wedding preparations. Start picking colors and the style of lace.” 

The hopefully evident implication is that she also hates court niceties and has been ignoring them as much as possible. That this is a recurring invitation (among many) she has avoided with some minor drama.

She’s kind of mimicking Aleksander’s behavior tbh but he gets away with it in a way that she doesn’t. Both because he’s like… running an entire army, but also it is just more acceptable for him to hate formal events as a man. Alina is kind of kept at court as a novelty, and there’s a gendered element to the expectation that she’s going to be like a source of fun parlor tricks. And her refusing to play along is itself part of why she’s rather out of favor atm.

“I will,” she says hoarsely. 

She’s just happy to have something specific to do so he can stop being angry at her 😞

The Darkling sighs. “Go sleep off your woes. We have a long journey ahead of us. You need rest.” He kisses her temple.

I think at this point he is internally cooling down a bit. And is like. oh… that was… perhaps… too much. I think there is some chagrin and even genuine concern here. But we don’t talk about feelings in this house. And also there is the high handed angle of like oh go sleep it off we’re just going to pretend this didn’t happen.

It’s a struggle not to curl into him, to cling for comfort, and that’s always what hurts her most, far more than his cutting words. She thinks, no matter what else she feels, she might hate him a little for it. 

😞😞😞😞

He’s really the only source of comfort she has? At all? There’s no other place she’s getting any sort of support from at this point. She’s fully isolated and emotionally dependent on him and she knows and resents that. She’s kind of been made into his satellite.

[fuckmeyer]

DVD COMMENTARY #1.. I have a couple!

***

“Did Marie see into the past, too?” said Phil.

“She read palms,” I mumbled.

“Past,” said Renée, pointing at me, “present,” she continued, pointing at herself, “and…” finally, she pointed to the sky “…future.”

By this point, Edward had gone quiet.

I added, “Mom, don’t you remember the way she would grab your hand and read your palm?”

He could keep wading through her memories, and I could get off the subject of my “psychic talents.” Win-win.

“God! Let me tell you how embarrassing it is to have all your friends’ deaths predicted by your mother whenever they came over.” She and Phil laughed; I chuckled weakly. Edward had no reaction. “She made the freakiest predictions sometimes. Uncanny.”

“What did she say about you?” said Phil

“All kinds of things. Let’s see. She predicted my little girl.” Renée threw me a loving glance. “She also said I would have a boy later in life, though—hm. I suppose that could be David. She said Bella would reunite with long lost family— I’m sure that was Charlie. And what else? —Ooh! That I would die an old, old lady.”

“Not to throw kerosene on the fire, babe,” said Phil with a growing grin, “but that’s pretty vague.”

“Oh, no! She was very specific. Death was her specialty. Her mother— my Nona Cynthia, Bella’s great-grandmother— she was the same way. Nona Cynthia used to run a little business with two friends when she was growing up— all the neighborhood kids would pay a cent to be read by The Psychics Three.” Renée laughed.

“So intuition runs in the family,” said Edward. His voice was scratchy. I gave him a look he didn’t return.

She gave me a knowing look. “Honey, you remember—after a while, I had to tell Nona Marie to stop reading your palm. Oh, she was just awful about the whole thing. Every time she would visit—”

We finished in unison: “Bella, your lifeline has run out.”

Edward looked up.

“Had it?” he said.

My mother and I had both been taken aback by the question.

“Well, of course not,” said Renée quietly with a nervous chuckle. Her hands fidgeted, nails picking at skin.

Edward didn’t need more information. He could see the memory clear as a mountain spring.

“Nona said I would drown,” I explained in a murmur.

Edward swallowed.

***

what made Edward go so quiet? what is Renee thinking that has him so on edge and tense? what is Renee feeling when seeing Edward’s reactions? please please share what you are able to without spoilers!!! and with Renee’s total 360 on her thoughts about Edward… was this when she realized he had this “darkness”?

ooh yay, throw em all my way!

BY STARLIGHT* CHAPTER 10: THEORIES - DVD COMMENTARY

*(no spoilers for future chaps)

“Did Marie see into the past, too?” said Phil.

“She read palms,” I mumbled.

“Past,” said Renée, pointing at me, “present,” she continued, pointing at herself, “and…” finally, she pointed to the sky “…future.” [this line is SO freaky to me. past implies a terminus, & Bells is terminal. the future, like Nona, is dead (& Renee points up, implying ascension). only the present - Renee - remains. like, holy shit Renee, do you have any idea how fucking symbolic you're being rn???]

By this point, Edward had gone quiet. [because Edward DOES realize how fucking symbolic she's being rn]

I added, “Mom, don’t you remember the way she would grab your hand and read your palm?”

He could keep wading through her memories, and I could get off the subject of my “psychic talents.” Win-win.

“God! Let me tell you how embarrassing it is to have all your friends’ deaths predicted by your mother whenever they came over.” She and Phil laughed; I chuckled weakly. Edward had no reaction. [this subject is discussed later, so maybe light spoilers? Edward can go deeper into someone's mind, but it requires more attention and energy. he is not well-trained in his new abilities. right now he's seeing Renee's memories: orange shag carpeting, birthday hats, children laughing, Renee whining to her mother...] “She made the freakiest predictions sometimes. Uncanny.”

“What did she say about you?” said Phil.

“All kinds of things. Let’s see. She predicted my little girl.” Renée threw me a loving glance. “She also said I would have a boy later in life, though—hm. I suppose that could be David. She said Bella would reunite with long lost family— I’m sure that was Charlie. And what else? —Ooh! That I would die an old, old lady.” [no comment]

“Not to throw kerosene on the fire, babe,” said Phil with a growing grin, “but that’s pretty vague.”

“Oh, no! She was very specific. Death was her specialty. Her mother— my Nona Cynthia, Bella’s great-grandmother— she was the same way. Nona Cynthia used to run a little business with two friends when she was growing up— all the neighborhood kids would pay a cent to be read by The Psychics Three.” Renée laughed. [no comment]

“So intuition runs in the family,” said Edward. His voice was scratchy. [i've been wanting to do this "Edward stays out too long in the sun" scene for years. i initially pictured this as the day E&B get back together. i wanted them to be best friends (albeit with unbearable sexual tension). this lunch happens at a restaurant. when Bells would go off to find him, they'd meet in an empty hallway and get it on the janitorial closet or the pantry or sth. not all ideas are good ideas.] I gave him a look he didn’t return.

She gave me a knowing look. “Honey, you remember—after a while, I had to tell Nona Marie to stop reading your palm. Oh, she was just awful about the whole thing. Every time she would visit—”

We finished in unison: “Bella, your lifeline has run out.”

Edward looked up.

“Had it?” he said.

My mother and I had both been taken aback by the question.

“Well, of course not,” said Renée quietly with a nervous chuckle. Her hands fidgeted, nails picking at skin. [she knows how accurate her mother is. she's seen it firsthand. so for Nona Marie to INSIST that Bells would drown EVEN AFTER that incident at Charlie's makes Renee wonder if it'll happen. it's been years, and she's "convinced" herself Bella will live a full, happy life, but she'll never be able to shake the specifics of Marie's prediction (details she's never told Bella), & her insistence that Bella's time is coming very soon.]

Edward didn’t need more information. He could see the memory clear as a mountain spring. [that is, Renee getting the call from Charlie that Bella is in the hospital and Caitlin has gone missing.]

“Nona said I would drown,” I explained in a murmur.

Edward swallowed.

***

what made Edward go so quiet? [although he is a more powerful telepath, slipping into people's minds requires more energy & is harder to control. he's trying to focus & find what he needs to find. i talk about this more in depth in future chaps]

what is Renee thinking that has him so on edge and tense? [reliving the memories]

and with Renee’s total 360 on her thoughts about Edward… was this when she realized he had this “darkness”?

regarding Renee's about-face:

i intentionally set this and the next scene up to be ambiguous. we never actually know how Renee feels about Edward specifically. we do know Renee is worried for Bella. but we only hear about Edward & Renee's interactions through Bells who has proven to be an unreliable narrator. we also hear about Renee's opinion of Edward through Charlie who is at best is paraphrasing & at worst lying to suit his own agenda. Edward never tells Bells whatever it is he may or not may not have read in Renee's mind. is it a 180? i think that's something the readers should decide for themselves based on their perception of the characters :)

i will say, Renee seems to be a worrier. when she's in the middle of an adventure or new experience, she can quiet her mind & go with the flow - it's why she's so impulsive & reckless. here, grief is a constant source of background tension for her as her mother's funeral takes place, while having Bells home blinds her to pretty much everything else. not as to say she didn't notice. she is clearly concerned for Bella to some extent. but i think she had a lot going on around her & needed to reflect on the visit to grow so concerned she calls Charlie.

send me 500 words of my fanfic & i will give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet

[pauls1967moustache]

For the dvd commentary thing, from wouldn't it be nice? :)

Before he can think of what to say, John says, "Here you go," and drops a little looped guitar string into the palm of his hand—a makeshift ring. Paul's heart skips a beat and then runs away with all of them. He's frozen there, looking at it; feeling John's eyes burning into his skin. He wants to say something—play into the obvious joke John's making—but he feels like everything he's ever felt in his life is caught in his throat, and if he makes a single sound, it's all going to come spilling out of him. He runs his thumb over the precarious curve of it, careful so as to not send it flying loose. If he even tried to put it on it might unravel. He's obviously not going to put it on. He's— He looks at John. John's glance flinches away, something guilty on his face, and Paul feels mortified because if John's looking guilty, it means there must be something to be sorry for splayed across Paul's features. Paul opens his mouth to cover for it, or think of an excuse, or Jesus Christ, fucking anything— but it doesn't come out. He's too overwhelmed.

(tough to pick just one passage!)

For the DVD commentary game

THE GUITAR STRING RING!!!! I am a romantic at heart, first of all.

This fic was a secret santa gift for @mydaroga who I I already followed, so I sort of had an idea of what they were into and I'd seen them talking about the Lennon/McCartney credit agreement before, which is where the idea of exploring that against the backdrop of John's real legal marriage to Cyn came from.

But! Before I got to that idea I had a few other ideas I tried out that weren't working, which I ultimately ended up stripping for parts and then mushing into this one. The guitar string ring was originally from a fic that was about the Paul/Linda John/Yoko double wedding week in 1969 (I might go back to this one at some point, but I did kind of take the meat out of it by stealing the guitar string ring lol).

Anyway, Paul is not unaware of his feelings, but he is kind of ignoring how upset he is by the idea of John being real life married to someone else, when they are only abstract songwirting married. John is aware of this, but also too scared to bring it up, so they've been sort of skirting it for the whole fic, but then John sees an opportunity and takes it.

I think John does mean it as a joke, or at least more light-hearted than it ends up being, but Paul has been so bottled up, up to this point, that he simply cannot take it as a joke. And John of course notices this and feels bad, because he doesn't want to upset Paul, but he's stuck in this impossible situation where he feels like he has to marry Cyn (and it's not like he could marry Paul anyway), and so he doesn't know what more he can offer apart from a jokey gesture.

As for Paul's state of mind, he obviously wants to say yes, but the gesture just isn't that simple, and he's been trying to be okay with everything, and he still feels the need to be okay with everything even when he isn't, and he wants John to mean it so bad that he just can't react at all.

I also just love the bit of Paul tentatively touching it. I've never made a ring out of guitar string, but I imagine it wouldn't be the sturdiest thing in the world. I like the symbolism of John giving Paul this frail little token of his love and Paul being so scared of it coming loose that he can barely touch it. He doesn't even want to put it on. It's a metaphor!

And, I'm just very proud of the idea of a guitar string ring in the first place. It's so quintessentially them. Like, this happened. Paul has it in a box in his house somewhere. It's already integrated into my beliefs.

[good-beanswrites]

I DM'd you a passage from the tarot cards fic. Director's commentary, please? ^_^

Ahh this was so fun, thank you so much!! Overexplaining details in a scene my beloved >:3

I wrote all my headcanons and assumptions as if they're facts to save myself from adding "I like to think" to the beginning of every sentence, but just know that I'm aware they don't have canon backing lol. Also my commentary mentions Fuuta and Mikoto's relationship, but the whole fic is pretty vague with it. I love keeping things at the stage of comfortable kindness, where it's easy for the reader to take things both platonically and romantically depending on what headcanons they're bringing to it. It's not necessarily catering to readers since I enjoy both interpretations -- I wrote it with both in mind, and I'll reread it differently depending on the day.

(From What's that Yugioh quote about cards)

“I'm doing this to show you how these readings are just crap. Now. First card.” [Fuuta] flipped it without any of the theatrics Mikoto had enjoyed. “Hm.” He squinted at the strange picture and read the title. “We’ve got a Four of Cups.” 

Fuuta kind of did want to cheer Mikoto up, but doesn’t like how sentimental it sounds to think of it like that. Even if he did admit to himself that’s what he was doing, he wouldn’t know how to comfort him in a nice way, so he’s just picking a distracting activity and hoping it works. Also this spread was actually drawn by me irl! I had to modify one card in Fuuta’s (not telling which one though, hehe). I did consider having Mikoto draw the Hanged Man as his last card, but that felt too forced and cheesy lol

“Reversed Four of Cups,” Mikoto said before turning his gaze to the ceiling. 

“Reversed? It’s right side up to you.”

“You’re doing a reading for me?”

“Duh?” 

It might seem obvious that Fuuta was doing a reading for him given the setup/dialogue, but from Mikoto’s pov, no one’s ever done that before. In all the years he’s been doing tarot, people really just focus on their own future and how to learn tarot for their own activities. No one’s thought to do a reading for him. He’s more surprised than touched right now, though, because of how tired he is. It’ll really hit him later that night, when he realizes that this was the first time someone did that for him. 

Mikoto bit back a comment that he should have gotten to touch the cards, if that were the case. He didn’t feel like getting into it with Fuuta right now, no matter how playful a matter it may be.

Mikoto (and Yuno) are the type who don’t take Fuuta's attitude personally. They can enjoy the back-and-forth of bickering for hours without it exhausting them. Even though Mikoto didn’t experience much during the interrogation, he’d be emotionally tired out in general. Plus, I picture the process of extracting videos to be physically taxing. Something that invades and activates your neurons would definitely leave you pretty wiped afterwards. (<- girl who has too many thoughts about how the mv machine works but will spare you the explanation)

“So… it looks like in the past… you had a lot of cups… and got a weird one from the sky. Are you religious?”

“Huh? Not really.”

“Not God then. I don’t fucking know where it came from. Maybe it’s a ‘life gives you lemons’ thing. You got too much on your plate?”

Mikoto stayed silent.

I messed myself up in this upcoming section because I was too excited about figuring out the card meanings in relation to Mikoto. I should have just looked at them as they were and guessed the meanings the way that Fuuta might. It was difficult having just read this card’s specific meaning and then trying to put myself in the shoes as someone who didn’t know it😂 I left and came back to this section a lot, I wrote the fic over a few months in between other things. It helped dull my memory on the actual meaning and get into Fuuta's character more.

Also I’m adding “life gives you lemons” to the list of phrases I use in my fics knowing it’s an English phrase/idiom they definitely wouldn't use, but I liked its exact connotation so I kept it in. It's cliche and informal and someone like Fuuta would be sick of hearing it from adults. He'd know Mikoto feels the same. I debated on giving Fuuta more lines about religion here – I do think he’s starting to consider it more at this point in time – but decided it brought the fic too off-course from where I wanted it.

“Whatever. Next card… the present. This one’s upside down to you. A knight – hey, I got a knight, too, remember?”

Fuuta actually does know that the specific term is “reversed,” Mikoto just said it, but doesn’t want to seem like he cares so he doesn't use the term. Still, he doesn’t really know how being reversed changes the meaning, so he interprets the picture normally. 

Mikoto blinked. He did remember – he was shocked that Fuuta did. That reading had ended on such a sour note all those months ago. He didn’t think the other had given it another moment of thought. There came the tiniest surge of pride that Fuuta had committed it to memory.

I wanted to play around more with memory here but could never get it to work!!! Fuuta doesn’t really have any themes around memory so it wasn’t that notable that he remembered. Mikoto’s memory has holes specifically around stressful events, so it’s not impressive he remembered, either. So… despite having the perfect opportunity to talk about cool insights/emotions, it simply wasn’t a big deal -_- It still works to reveal that they both care a lot about each other, which is why I left it as is. It was a brief moment months ago, but both held onto the memory all this time.

“Damn, another cup. Well, if it does mean life keeps throwing stupid shit at you, then yeah, this prison has been the stupidest shit of them all.”

Fuuta picked up the final card. He let out a laugh. It was something mocking, but it tickled Mikoto. “Heh, you sure are a fool. That’s some outfit. Still better than yours right now.” He flicked the card at Mikoto’s chest, where it bounced off his mangled uniform. 

As someone who is completely endeared by Fuuta’s awful laugh, I think Mikoto wouldn’t mind either if it sounded teasing/cruel. Especially after all the pain Fuuta’s been through T2, Mikoto probably didn’t hear him laugh in a very long time, and the sound can be contagious. I always wonder about Mikoto's uniform... was like that from his fight with Kotoko, or just from John wrecking his room? Is it like that all of T2, or does Es gives him a replacement? I felt like he would be cleaned up by the time his interrogation rolled around, but his album art is just as much of a mess, so I guess ratty uniform it is...

Mikoto retrieved the card. He sat up as he returned it to the spread. He studied them. 

Mikoto was enjoying Fuuta’s version of the cards, but didn’t have the energy to read them along with him. This is the first time he taps into his own knowledge of the tarot meanings and realizes what a good spread it actually is. I wanted to linger here in this moment more, but everything I wrote became too “telling.” As the fic was from Mikoto’s pov, I felt like I’d need to take the reader through what he was thinking about in the silence. That ended up defeating the purpose of the peaceful moment lol

He allowed himself a small smile. “So,” he asked, “what’s it all mean?”

Fuuta scowled. “I just told you what it meant.”

“No, now you look at the big picture.” Mikoto shook his head. “You left before I could finish your reading, but you’re supposed to look at everything together and make a plan for the future. I… I still remember yours. I was going to tell you to mind your emotions, and prepare for a big change coming quickly. But uh…” he rubbed the back of his neck. “Guess it’s a little late for that, huh?”

“A little.”

Once again wishing I could do more with memory given that Mikoto still remembers Fuuta’s exact reading after so many months, and once again leaving it as a testament to his relationship with Fuuta. I can only hope it speaks for itself when looking at the fic normally ;--; I still haven’t decided if that last line from Fuuta should be read as an angry snap or a disappointed whisper. He’s still very bitter about his situation, and the fact that Mikoto is telling him to ‘mind his emotions’ and reminding him of his pain are enough to make him lash out. At the same time, maybe bringing it all up makes him recognize that his hot temper did caused him harm, several times. He can hear how genuinely Mikoto speaks, and feels guilty for treating him so harshly then. I go back and forth depending on my own mood…

“So, to finish off my reading, what advice do you give me based on these?” 

Fuuta made a show of rolling his eyes and huffing, as if this hadn’t been his idea to begin with.

My favorite way to write Fuuta is having him do something nice, and then immediately get mad at the other person because suddenly he’s embarrassed about it.

 “This is so lame. My advice…?” He jabbed a finger at The Fool. “Don’t do anything fucking stupid in the future.”

I originally wrote out a bit of a longer speech of advice, with Fuuta mentioning how he knows school/work can be overwhelming, and this prison is overwhelming, and not to do anything in the future because there are people relying on him. Fuuta was relying on him. It was a bit vulnerable and finally explicitly mentioned his feelings towards Mikoto. I read it back, heaved a sigh, said “he wouldn’t fucking say that,” and cut it down to just this line 👍I'm not too disappointed, though, since Mikoto can see right through Fuuta (both with his people skills and the fact that Fuuta is very obvious about his emotions). Anything he would have confessed, Mikoto already knows.  

Mikoto looked from him to the cards, then back again.

“...That’s it?”

“What more do you want?” Fuuta raised his voice, and Mikoto found it in him to laugh. 

Mikoto also hasn’t laughed (genuinely) all of T2 :( This one starts off kind of forced – he had to “find it in him” to play along with the way a conversation is supposed to go. But it feels natural once he does, and the next time I mention his attitude he feels “back to his old self.” In this moment he’s considering antagonizing Fuuta by teasing his advice, asking for more, or just poking at his temper. He chooses not to. Instead of avoiding their bickering because he’s tired, he cuts Fuuta a break because he’s really grateful for the kind gesture.

“Alright, alright, I’ll take it.”

[astroboots]

“‘I want to be with you, and even if you can’t save me in the end, that's okay. I just want to be with you for as long as I can. However long or short of a time that is, I won’t have any regrets as long as I get to spend it with you. I told you, didn’t I? Every me in every universe would say the same, given a choice.’”

Fucking pissing myself from this line /Pos

give us the commentary :>

I screamed with laughter when I read the pissing yourself part.

DVD COMMENTARY ASK GAME

So I am a bit of a sucker for lines that connects to title. Whenever I see it happen in movies, or tv shows, as corny as it is. I start clapping like an excited seal!

When I first named every you every me, it was based on one of my favorite placebo songs that I've loved since I was young. And I have been looking for a way to incorporate the title in the story ever since. When Cielito meets ATSV!Miguel I was screaming when I finally saw my opportunity.

As for her saying it again in the final ending. I was conscious that when we have the scene with ATSV!Miguel Cielito is speaking to that version of him and while our Miguel can of course hear her, we don't see his reaction and in my mind, his reaction is disbelief, and shock and guilt. He's hearing her but he's telling himself all kind of lies to tell himself that she doesn't mean it/doesn't understand what she's saying to justify the decision he's about to make (remove himself from the picture so that she has a shot at a normal life, one where she won't constantly be under the threat of dying).

But when she hears her say it again, to him, staring up at him, he can't escape from the fact that she knows that this is what she wants, that this is a choice she's made, and he has no choice but to accept it.

[whetstonefires]

For the DVD Commentary post:

"I hate everything, he sobbed, and was surprised somehow when they did not draw back further, were not angry, even though it could not possibly be news by this point. I hate everything. I hate Shinra. I hate the world. I hate you. I hate Mother. I hate Sephiroth.

He made the name mean something entirely different than they had, trying to tame him. An image in fragments, bright silver yes and speed, the fit of uniform boots. The sound of people saying it, year in and year out—cold disdain and breathless admiration and writhing jealousy, and every repetition a new burden to carry. The crackle of flame and the stink of mako, laughter like Hojo’s laughter in his own throat, the taste of blood in your mouth. Jenova’s long-dead eyes staring with too much awareness for a corpse.

All the things the word Sephiroth meant that he felt consumed by, but also the mere thick, fungus-spreading concept of self.

He had failed so many times in so many ways. They told him he was perfect and yes everything was easy except anything that actually mattered, and he just wanted to do something right."

This one lives in my head hahaha i'd love to know the commentary behind it

Oh, this is a fun one! (That's for this post from this fic, the sixth and final Sephiroth-as-sibling AU.) Sorry for the delay in turnaround, I had to. Thanksgiving. It was a lot.

Well, we're already like three layers deep into Sephiroth's head during this bit, since it's a flashback to how he was feeling during an interaction within the Lifestream, so that part's a little redundant. He's about as self-aware as I can personally justify Sephiroth ever being.

This was an important bit for the fic, since it covers two essential elements--most obviously, it's the moment when Aerith's project of separating Sephiroth's consciousness from the greater Jenova gestalt decisively bore fruit.

Secondly, this is the passage where we find out why I've been tying myself into knots this entire time refusing to let the POV character call himself by name. (This would be even more important if I'd ever finished and posted the whole story; this is technically just the opening.)

Written carelessly, this bit would be just, the worst exposition-dump. So I leaned in hard on the sensory data, of Sephiroth's experience of brokenness and of his own fractured identity, and how that drives his relationship to the situation he's in now.

I ran through all the senses, some more than once--the physicality of memory was very important, since the physicality of the actual experience was illusory. Sight was first color, then a specific image; fire was a sound and mako was a smell. Taste was blood, which I remember wording carefully so it spanned the breadth from 'when you overwork until you start tasting blood' to 'blood in your mouth from serious injury' to 'having bitten,' because Sephiroth's cannibalism is all strictly metaphorical but it's also a big part of the narrative.

The game, I mean, but maybe also the fic.

Touch was the specific encasing sensation of standard-issue footwear and the internal sensation of your throat spasming on laughter, which bleeds into sound because Sephiroth's laughter during his breakdown is sometimes spelled like Hojo's and this makes me insane and I don't think he'd have been happy to notice it either.

And sound was also the symbolic item of the name, and the way it is held differently in each user's mouth, and how public-use Sephiroth's name was made by Shinra, when it was almost the only thing he had that was his own. The way his celebrity rendered him public property and so many people felt they knew him and had a right to his acknowledgement in return.

The way this makes trying to call him back to himself by calling his name, the way they do here, the way Zack tried at Nibelheim--difficult. There's no inherent intimacy in using his name to impose a specific personhood on him, and what there is has a lot of negative associations.

The nice thing about writing something happening in the Lifestream is you don't need to, and shouldn't, distinguish well between fact and metaphor. The name is the meaning you pack into it, much more than it is physical syllables. But the shape of those syllables is still attached, essential, in the same way the dead remember what they looked like, until they don't.

I don't think you can do a post-Jenovization Sephiroth without massive identity issues. He's technically been mindwhammied even more thoroughly than Cloud was at the Northern Crater, and like with Cloud, it was being in a position of doubting who and what he really was and whether that was worth anything that set him up to crack in the first place. So he doesn't have any stable sense of 'himself' to go back to.

There's no one alive who can do for Sephiroth what Tifa does for Cloud. But, I thought, there might be a few people dead who have a shot.

If you consider Sephiroth's lines in Cloud's version of the Nibelheim flashback to be canon--which I do because they're much more interesting than the alternative--then we also have strong indications Sephiroth adopted his omnicidal transhuman identity as a coping mechanism. He's very obviously not a happy person, but when Cloud/Zack/whoever says after the massacre that their sadness is the same he laughs and asks, what do I have to be sad about?

This new identity is his consolation, an escape. He has to have hated himself because most of 'himself' is a thing he threw away.

I think it's very significant to the themes of Final Fantasy VII that while our protagonist can be directly, physically puppeted by psychic projection when taken by surprise, ultimately it seems to be necessary to break Cloud's will at the root in order for Sephiroth to 'win' their conflict, a process probably achieved with the other more thoroughly overcome Copies via torture and isolation. (What this implies about the making of Genesis' Copies I'm not sure, but it's not good. The Compilation is very bad at preserving theme though, and I very much opted to side with the OG on any point of conflict here.)

Sephiroth may have been both deceived and influenced by psychic pressure, but he can't have been forced. He chose this. He rejected everything that he had ever been in life other than 'a killer' in exchange for a new identity that was straight-up fraudulent, and then when that bubble burst one with nothing in it but hunger and anger and pride, and didn't look back.

So, any Sephiroth you put back together post-Nibelheim to be a distinct living person and seek things other than domination and murder (a thing I've seen done quite a few times, it's a popular saw I'm kinda riffing on, though I've never seen it done in this timeframe) is going to be a wreck for reasons that have nothing whatever to do with guilt.

He has never had a strong and stable sense of self, raised within Shinra and subject to its demands. Sephiroth-of-SOLDIER was so easy to throw away because it was a self built up chiefly from without. He is not a nice or an accommodating person, but he's also not one who ever learned to make his own choices, something that's implied in the original game and leaned into heavily in Crisis Core.

When he unconsciously expects to be rejected for expressing his ragged, vulnerable hate in the section excerpted, that's part of this. Sephiroth is a character whose main vector of self-expression has always been violence, but who has never been permitted his own anger--before he breaks, his resentment of Hojo appears exclusively via passive aggression. (This is such a bad combination stg President dude wtf did you expect.)

This passage is the baring of all these facts, the breaking point where Aerith successfully deprives him of his coping mechanisms thoroughly enough that he's driven onto the shoals of honest agony. And he's already ditched the act-normal, stay-level coping behaviors that got him through most of his life. And he's straight-up lost chunks of his psyche that got particularly integrated with his Mother and left behind when Aerith did Big Slice, some of which had provided him with load-bearing emotional bulwarks against self-loathing. So what's left?

But even as this is getting to the heart of his unhappiness, he's at the same time conducting one more self-evasion maneuver here, trying to wrap Sephiroth up into a bundle that he can externalize his self-hatred onto, a thing that people (including Jenova) made of him (he, who is a made thing) rather than a person he continuously is.

If Aerith had set him adrift in the Lifestream in this state and somehow kept Jenova from promptly reincorporating him, he probably would have succumbed to the true death quite rapidly, since it's the hanging-on to one's own identity that holds that off, and Sephiroth's primary attachment points seem to have always been his hatred and his physical form, and he's here shown in a state of rejecting his attachment to both, for lack of any other effective shield against the hurt of being.

Instead she stuffed him back into his body, which was conveniently preserved in crystal at the Northern Crater (a significantly less bullshit way to resurrect the lad than anything else I've seen done imho lmao like it's already there in the text). Existing as a single person in a body is the foundation (though not a necessary prerequisite) of individual selfhood in this setting, so he's sort of being forced to patch a self together by virtue of having skin.

Which brings us out of this flashback and a day later to the main timeline of the fic--wherein it is hopefully now more obvious why he's acting this way.

And possibly why one of the first things he did (after stabbing Rufus on sight lol) was cut off his iconic hair.

The three ghosts (not actually appearing in the quoted passage but relevant) are being fairly honest, since 1) they're dead and made of feelings and that makes it harder to avoid and 2) what they're doing wouldn't work otherwise.

Aerith's primary motive really isn't revenge, though I think as we see with Tseng she is fully capable of balancing a sense of connection to someone and the opinion that they should die and spare everyone else the burden of their existence in the world; her primary motive isn't pity either.

This is strategic. Sephiroth makes Jenova much stronger and is doing a lot of her thinking as part of the gestalt; breaking them up is, if possible, the single most effective thing she can do from within the Lifestream. And since in this timeline she knows Sephiroth much better than in canon, she has an angle of attack available. And she does identify with him, and remember him as a very unhappy child, and when you come down to it no person who was a deeply unhappy child ever entirely stops being one, deep down.

(Another fact that is relevant to Cloud's canonical identity arc. He cannot start to fully heal until he integrates that resentful eight-year-old who internalized the blame for not protecting Tifa from herself.)

Zack is in this for her sake and Cloud's, and because his failure at Nibelheim is his greatest remaining regret, especially because of the way it replicates the trauma of Angeal's death. There's no way he could pass up the chance to resolve that. And even now, he really feels for Sephiroth--especially now, as Aerith's plan gets moving and how pitiful a creature Sephiroth is under all that gets exposed.

Angeal feels, with some justification, responsible for Sephiroth's mental breakdown. He didn't realize he had that kind of power or he would at the very least have made more effort to explicitly dip on Sephiroth personally and make clear that it wasn't personal, but he definitely helped fuck the guy up. Happily, if there's one thing Angeal is good at it's failing to let go of things he very clearly should not hold onto, so he makes a solid anchor for this maneuver.

The only reason he's able to verbalize this as usefully as he does is the squad basically ran drills for this before making their move. All three of them are violently allergic to most expressions of sincere emotion, especially negative, especially their own, especially conveyed in words rather than gestures and allusions, and having to listen to one another's practice monologues was significantly more unpleasant than getting killed in the first place. But they had to, so they could provide critique.

I don't think I have any puns for this one?

:} Do note that Aerith's chopping maneuver after luring Sephiroth's core consciousness away from the gestalt center via grudgebaiting should be visualized with that same overhead slam animation she uses in FFVII:1997 when you have her jump forward from the back row and deliver a physical blow with her staff.

[cornflowerbluewrites]

Fanfic ask game? Fanfic ask game!

--

Tim lifts his head as the aroma fills the room, blinking sleep from his eyes and Dick wonders for a moment if Tim is even going to remember this interaction or instead go right back to sleep when Tim’s eyes meet his and Tim jolts in his chair like he has been electrocuted as he shouts, “Dick!”

It is the only warning he gets before Tim vaults the counter, knocking over and spilling the coffee, and flings himself at Dick.

Ooooh, this was such a fun scene for me to write in this fic!

So, some important context to this is that I am very much a coffee drinker. I do also drink tea, but coffee is my drink of choice when I'm waking up in the morning. It is also important to note that I 'wake up one eye at a time' according to my mother.

So those two factors were very much influencing how I was writing Tim in this scene, because I can picture the smell of coffee being something that does help to wake him up (and yes I do sniff my coffee before I drink it, that's part of The Ritual for me, lol). I also figure that Tim is, from what is technically the day before, not very well rested when Dick walks in to find him asleep at the kitchen counter, so he can smell the coffee, and it's going to rouse him, but there's also a very significant chance he will just fall back asleep and not at all remember that he had a brief moment of wakefulness.

That's obviously not what happens though, Tim does wake up! And as he wakes up, he remembers the last thing that happened, which for the purposes of this fic, was Dick dying. So Tim wakes up, remembers Dick very much dying, but then he catches sight of Dick, very much alive and standing in front of him, and he just throws himself at Dick to give him a hug.

It's very much an emotional reaction from Tim, but I figured he's having an emotional moment. I figured that it also makes sense that Tim doesn't care that he spilling coffee or potentially ruining his paperwork that he was working on, what matters most would be getting to Dick and getting hands on him to make sure he's real and there and still alive for Tim to hug.

Also, Tim and Dick deserve to hug more!

Tim is also the only Bat in this fic that we see waking up and remembering the past loops, he's the first hint that the others remembering because his reaction is so much different than the one he had before the first death. So he's got to reach a little bit differently each loop as he continues to wake up each morning with Dick still there and still alive even after having just had to watch him die, but I really wanted the hug to happen here because it's the first time the day loops!

Thanks for asking about this scene! It was so much fun for me to write and to think about!

Ask for more fic DVD commentary!